Hi Family and Friends,

I hope you all are doing well, and all the moms out there had a nice Mother's Day yesterday.  It feels like it's been a minute since I last gave you guys a true update.  Last week was not my best week, hence the short post.  Allow me to back up a bit… 

My second A/C infusion was on Wednesday, May 1, and the infusion itself was uneventful.  To my surprise, I woke up on Thursday morning actually feeling somewhat ok.  I was fully prepared to spend the day in bed like I did round 1, and while I did lay low most of the day, I was happy to say I wasn't feeling horrible.  Sadly, that was short-lived.  Friday morning I woke up with mild nausea and a headache.  The nausea was controlled by the Zofran and Compazine, and it was not as severe as round 1.  I was actually able to get outside for a very short and very slow walk, and I found that being up and (slowly) moving actually made me feel a little better.  This remained the case on Saturday and Sunday.  Again, I was very pleased that my nausea was mild, but still looked forward to turning a corner and coming out of the haze by Monday, much like I did round 1. 

Well my friends...that just did not happen.  I remained nauseous all week long, and it caused me to lose my appetite.  On top of that, my sleep has been terrible.  As I've mentioned before, I am experiencing awful hot flashes and night sweats.  The day time hot flashes are annoying, but I have learned how to deal with them, and they tend to come and go quickly.  The night sweats are a completely different animal.  Those things will wake me up out of my sleep and completely disrupt the rest I so desperately need.  Once I'm awake, I find that my mind starts racing and I cannot seem to settle myself down.  Just as soon as I fall back asleep, another night sweat hits me.  This will happen about 3-4 times a night.  Needless to say, I am not getting good sleep.  As someone who has never had issues sleeping, and requires a good 7-8 hours a night--this is miserable.  So between the lack of sleep, no appetite, and mild nausea--I was very low on energy, and feeling pretty crappy all week long.  When this happens, my mental state takes a serious hit, and I find myself very emotional and weary.  I don't know what's worse...more severe symptoms, but for a shorter period of time, or more mild symptoms that linger for a solid week and greatly affect your mental state.  Both suck in my eyes.  So here we are on Monday, May 13, and I just started to feel a little more human over the weekend...just in time for Red Devil #3 on Wednesday.  Sigh...this is the part where I tell myself "it is what it is...this is all temporary...the end is in sight...I can do this...I have no other choice but to do this...I hate cancer".

Ok, no more Debbie Downer...let's talk about the highlights of the past week.  First off--Will came home!!  He finished his sophomore year at Sewanee, and flew home to see us for about a week.  Yes,  just a week, but I will take what I can get.  The Brookby 4 enjoyed some much needed family time together before sending Will on his way.  Today, he flew back to Nashville to link up with a group from his business program, and tomorrow they will all travel together for a 3 week trip to Singapore and Vietnam.  They will have various meetings with businesses over there during the week, and then spend the weekends sight-seeing.  It's an amazing experience for Will, and we can't wait to hear all about his adventures.  Now on to Miss Kate--remember when I told you her track relay team qualified for State?  Well, I am proud to report the Briarwood girls 4x400 relay finished 4th in state AND they beat their school record by 5 seconds!  Way to go girls!  

Well folks--it's time to rinse and repeat.  Red Devil #3 is in T-minus 2 days, and I find myself growing more and more anxious as the day approaches.  Now that I know just how awful it is, and how miserable I feel in the days following, I find myself getting sick to my stomach at the mere thought of that disgusting red poison flowing into my body.  I swear that sometimes I can actually feel it coursing through my veins, and it just creeps me out.  I have to remind myself that it is potent for a reason.  It is killing off all the lingering cancer cells so that I never have to deal with this cancer nightmare again.  And while it may knock me down for many days, it will not knock me out.  But I have to tell you...it's getting harder and harder to remain positive.  I really just need for this to be over.  I know what you are thinking...I'm almost there!  Only 2 more to go!  I'm trying really hard to focus on that, but it's hard, and I know you all get it.  

As always, I remain thankful for all the love and support.  Now more than ever, as I grow tired and weary, your good thoughts and prayers are very much appreciated, specifically for my mental strength.  Sending you all my love!

🩷,