Jerri Danyelle’s Story

Site created on November 13, 2019

I'm Jerri, and he's Jerry.  I became a caregiver by circumstance, not by choice.  It's a title that was forged upon me, with no regard for the roles I already had in my life.  There was no request, no consideration, no time to transition, just....happening.  I am a caregiver to my father, and that's that.  Some would say I've been a caregiver since 2017, but I don't think I really "felt" it until 2018 when my father's health declined drastically.  In February 2018, he went bowling for his 66th birthday, and by September he was being discharged to my home on a stretcher connected to a feeding machine.  :-(    Drastic is an understatement.
While I've always kept my own personal record of this journey, I've only recently decided to share our story abroad as I've come to understand the caregiver community more and more.  It really is a journey worth sharing.

Newest Update

Journal entry by Jerri Danyelle McElroy

4 Years to the Day (#LONGPOSTALERT)

I've shared this story before, but here it is again....
On this day four years ago, the doctors said there was nothing else they could do.  My dad was stable and he was being discharged from the hospital.  He was not showing any promising signs of walking, talking, or swallowing again.  They asked me if he would be returning to the rehab facility where he resided before his hospitalization.  I quickly answered, "No!"  I knew for sure he could not return there, as some of his current condition was a result of negligent care from that facility.  (The third facility in three months.  All three of which had their own list of disappointing service and negligence.)
And so, I did what I felt was my only resort, I told the doctors he would be discharged to my home.

I remember so clearly working with the VA to get his bed and list of supplies confirmed the day before his discharge.  And then arriving at the hospital the morning of discharge to complete paperwork and walk out with him on a stretcher.  Along with supplies, the medical staff gave me pamphlets on Palliative and Hospice care; telling me so kindly to review the programs and strongly consider it.  It really felt very heavy and solemn that day four years ago as we were leaving out of the hospital; like we were taking our last walk and saying a last goodbye.

We left the hospital and arrived home with ambulance in tow.  The paramedics brought the stretcher through the back garage door, and into my dad's new bedroom. (which had been my sons' room)  They lifted him off the stretcher and transferred him to the bed and left.  We adjusted him in bed, made sure his feeding machine was connected, and gave him time to rest in his bed.  Then I sat right outside his bedroom door going over the details.  There was so much to process and organize.  His meds, his rotation schedule, his feeding schedule, his woundcare schedule, and hygiene too.  I needed to plot it out, give everything a place, and implement a system that was functional...and doable for me, along with the rest of my life.

When I think back that day and season, all I can do is shake my head and thank God we made it through.
Four years ago, he was on eight or nine different medications.  He had a sacral wound that had to be cleaned and packed regularly.  And to ensure he didn't develop any other bed sores, he had to be turned and rotated four to six times a day.  He was tethered to a feeding machine that needed to be refilled, checked, flushed, and reset regularly.  He had to be moved using a hoyer lift.  And on, and on, and on.  It was ALOT!  And it was happening daily.  Life was drastically different!  And I was asking God for strength daily, and for healing and restoration.  I was hopeful my dad would begin to bounce back now that he was out of the hospital and around family.

FOUR YEARS LATER, I'm still asking God for strength daily, and for healing and restoration.  But I'm also celebrating the small wins and victories we've experienced so far!
He's only on four meds now.  His sacral wound healed and closed up after eleven months.  He has not developed anymore bed sores.  He's no longer bed-bound and can now step and walk with his walker, with assistance....and even stand with his walker for a short time. He's eating by mouth and taking his meds by mouth.  He's uttering words and attempting to hold conversations with hand gestures and all. 😄 

With joy and a big smile I give ALL PRAISES to GOD for His healing and restorative power!!  It is in HIS strength and love that this journey is celebrated today, and in the days, weeks, and months to come!

Way to go Daddy! What a comeback! 💪🏾🤎

Happy 4 Year Healing Anniversary to Us!!

#beingrestored

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