9 Ways to Comfort Someone Who Needs It
CaringBridge Staff | 06.20.23
One of the biggest challenges about going through struggles is often the feelings of loneliness and isolation that accompany it. It can mean so much when you show up to offer comfort and hope in a time of need, even if you don’t know what the best methods are.
We turned to the CaringBridge community to shed some insight on how to comfort someone you love, whether it be a friend, loved one or community member who is going through a difficult time in their lives.
Here are nine ways to help a family member, friend, or anyone in need of some comfort.
1. Share a Meal
One way to offer support is to cook for your loved one and share a meal together.
If you know that this person has a favorite food or restaurant, purchasing a gift card can be another way to show you care.
“My husband had lung cancer. A church friend cooked meals for me. It was a wonder. When my husband moved to hospice care, he did not eat much. He would ask for Chick-Fil-A chocolate milkshakes. A friend gave me a Chick-Fil-A gift card and I would get a milkshake for my husband.”
Barbara K.
“Members of my Bible study group have been so thoughtful about bringing meals or gift cards for restaurants so I don’t need to cook. Several of my friends from church have driven me to doctor’s appointments when I have been unable to drive. Or that have just come over to visit, they’re such a blessing.”
Beverly S.
2. Give Practical, Yet Thoughtful Gifts
Gifts can be anything from a cozy blanket to monetary (especially necessary in health crises). Sometimes, a gift can simply be spending time with that person.
If you would like to give someone a gift, consider something practical that they would find useful or something that reminds them of a wonderful time in their lives.
“I live in Wisconsin, battling brain cancer. A friend who moved to Atlanta sent me a warm fuzzy bathrobe. She didn’t want me to be too cold going through Chemo. It really helped, I thought of her every morning when I got up.”
Connie B.
3. Help Around the House
Sometimes it’s nice to receive help, even if you don’t ask for it. One way that you could comfort someone is to help them around their house, especially if they are dealing with an illness or injury that makes it difficult for them to keep up with day-to-day tasks.
Cleaning or mowing the lawn are two things you can do. Perhaps your loved one is having trouble doing their weekly grocery shopping or laundry. It can be simple tasks that often provide the most comfort.
“My husband was battling brain cancer. We went on a final family trip. My friends (a lot of them) came into my house before we returned and spruced the whole house. New decor in the dining room, bathroom, master bedroom. I will always be grateful for their kindness.”
Nancy I. K.
4. If It’s the Holiday Season, Find a Way to Make It Special
Holidays can be lonely, especially if your loved one has recently lost someone important in their lives. Take the initiative to let them know they are not alone – perhaps helping them decorate for the holidays or listening to their favorite songs.
“My dad died right before Christmas. I was out of town at his bedside until he passed. My adult daughter (who had her own home & family) put up my Christmas tree & decorations. My son helped. One of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me.”
Anne S. O.
5. Lend a Listening Ear
Sometimes all someone needs is for you to listen. Every person going through a hard time will have a different experience. It’s important to let them do the talking, and to let them know that you’ll be there for them – even if they don’t feel like sharing their experience just yet.
Being a good listener can truly strengthen your relationship. Even if you don’t know what to say, knowing that you’re there can provide great comfort to someone in need.
6. Sometimes a Hug Is All You Need
Simply being there to give your loved one or friend a hug or to hold their hand can offer more support than you realize. Such a simple gesture can tell someone that you are there for them, without saying anything at all.
7. Make a Journal
Reminding your loved one of happier times can offer a massive amount of comfort for them. If they’ve lost someone, speak their name and recall happy memories you have of that person.
Creating a memory book or a journal for someone to look back on can bring them joy in the moment, and for years to come.
“My stepdaughters bought and started a journal after my husband was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. They tracked meds, visitors, gifts and special memories. How blessed I am. My husband even decided to write a note in it, which I will forever treasure.”
Mary Jane W. F.
8. Find Comfort in Community
Another way to comfort someone is to reach out to a community that you or they are already a part of. Faith communities or social groups are great places to start – they often can even help with household tasks or by cooking meals for said person.
“When my husband was on ECMO, the other “ECMO wives” took me under their wing and not only fed me but informed me and were there to listen and encourage my heart. When my husband passed a few years later (in February), they even came to his Celebration of Life service.”
Maria E.
“When I was in the hospital during one of my many rounds of brain surgery in 2005 and 2006, our family friend that also went to my church came to visit me and he brought the whole church youth group. I cried tears of joy and felt so loved.”
Stephanie Lynn W.
9. Create a CaringBridge Site
Creating a CaringBridge site for you or a loved one can be an incredible support system. Whether it’s used to track progress, share updates or send words of love, our community is here to support you.
“Caringbridge was very important to us as a family during our daughters hospitalization. It helped cut down the constant phone inquiries about her progress. We were Blessed that so many cared but we were too exhausted and emotional to take the calls.”
D. Waldie
Don’t go through your health journey alone.
You can stay connected to friends and family, plan and coordinate meals, and experience love from any distance.
All of this is ready for you when you start your personal CaringBridge site, which is completely free of charge, ad-free, private and secure. Don’t spend another minute alone!
“Being able to read about a loved one and their progress helps the person who is taking care of their loved ones and just share on CaringBridge. Others can give encouragement and let them know you care.”
Carleen C. W. D.
“My Nephew Chip had a CaringBridge page, when he battled lung cancer at 47. It was a great support system for him. He coached his son 11 year old son Dylan’s Atlanta Colt football team at Murphy Candler Park. The entire Atlanta Colts team made signs. So when Chip woke up the morning of his first chemo treatment, as he and his wife Michelle pulled out of their garage, the signs of encouragement his Atlanta Colts made were covering his and Michelle’s entire yard. Chip got out and read all the signs. It was so touching! Chip sadly has been gone 8 years now. He was my oldest brothers’ only child. Chip’s son Dylan is in his 2nd year at Alabama! Miss Chip, everyday!”
Maureen K. J.
Comfort Is Caring
Offering comfort to someone in need is one of the most important parts of helping someone through a difficult time. Sometimes all they may need is a hug, or maybe a little help with their day to day.
What (or who) brings you comfort when you’re feeling low? Help out by sharing your comments below.
Hi Jamie. I wanted to say to and that I care and pray for better health. I am a friend of your Mom. She is a beautiful caring and loving friend.
When my husband Don passed away last year on the 5th of January,.My husband spent so much time together, we both worked 12 hour shifts on the same crew, I loved being together,Don was my best friend and soulmate. So my family and friends, and God was my support group.We are all still broken hearted.But he is with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ now he is with know more pain and suffering.
Your list of showing care & concern is great! So many people are hurting and just need a helpful hug, word of encouragement or a visit from a friend. Thanks for this very helpful advice.
Take a zoom exercise class together!!
Great ideas!!!!!
Caring Bridge has been the perfect answer for me, especially in the months following diagnosis (CLL). I could not recall what I’d told to whom. For some, there was repetition; for others, gaps in my story. And I was tired of the retelling. 17+ years later, I post updates (mostly blessedly boring) on the anniversaries of my diagnosis. These are helpful suggestions. However, Debra Z also makes a good observation. My desire to comfort and care for others in need can sometimes be more motivated by my needs than theirs. Good to be sensitive to what is really needed and helpful, as opposed to only making me more comfortable because “I did something”.
My wife is in the hospital right now. I read your article and I couldn’t agree more. Even the smallest act of kindness is appreciated.
EXCELLENT. IT IS A PLEASURE TO RELIEVE SOMEONE OF THEIR TASKS SO THEY CAN FOCUS ON THE LOVED ONE’S CARE.
Thank you for your wonderful service and comments!!!What can you do when a relative who has cancer and is in very bad shape does not want to communicate with anyone anymore? She is saying that she cannot cope with any communication, it is too much for her, thank you from the bottom of my heart for any advice you can give me, Daniela
This is wonderful sensible things we can do to help and comfort people in need..; Thank you for sharing these things with uas
Caringbridge site brought hope and encouragement during my Cancer journey in 2012-2013. It help from answering phones, and repeating the news everyone wanted to know. When I was able day or night I could read messages on my own time. When I live a long distance from family it was a way to communicate. The two others items important to be was the hand made warm lap quilt for chemo treatments, and my first gift The ” Jesus Calling ” book, gave me peace. I still use it daily 7 years later.
Your suggestions are priceless. So much caring–which the world, especially for those who are very ill or who feel alone and hopeless I have recorded all of your suggestions and will use them as needed. I would also suggest that people pray to whatever they believe to be their Higher I appreciate all of your suggestions in dealing with people who need help in some way. I have used many of these suggestions when I have had contact from friends or family members about those especially needing support. Thank you for these suggestions which I have recorded,and when I need to be reminded of someone who could use support. In addition, I would add that those who are suffering could and should resort to seek help from a Higher Power– whether it be God or another religious belief.dindd
very good suggestions! thank you!
Caring Bridge has been very helpful with all our family struggles. I can’t thank everyone enough. My motherand sister have been in and out of hospitals quite frequently in the last several years. My mother with an major operation. My sister with her second kidney operation. You have been a god send.
Thank you. Do you have any suggestions I could use to help my Grandson in the hospital with Bone Cancer, Ewing’s Sarcoma,? He’s in VA and I’m in CA. No visitors allowed at hospital. No air travel for me. ?
So helpful to be guided rather than being so stunned by a friend or loved one’s crisis that you can’t imagine what to do. Thank you!
I remember when my mother-in-law died someone from their church showed up with two large grocery bags filled with paper products. Since many people were arriving from out of town and food was being brought by friends and neighbors, the paper plates, napkins, plastic cutlery, plastic storage containers, baggies, large kitchen garbage bags, and toilet paper were items we didn’t even know we needed. These were items that my sister-in-law didn’t have on hand, (the paper plates and plastic cutlery,) and though most people don’t use these items on a daily basis, for a week of feeding an extended family it allowed my sister-in-law to visit with family and friends and not be constantly doing the dishes.
Thank you for your helpful articles.
There are so many ways to help a loved one who needs comfort and caring. Let’s always remember what is most important to them.
Excellent recap of all the ways one can help during stressful times. Thanks so much for sharing!
I appreciate your excellent articles and suggestions! I think it is also important to remember that sometimes those who want to provide comfort, need to be sensitive to the receiving individual’s level of comfort with attention. Sometimes, cards are enough, phone calls are enough, or a meal is enough, but too much attention can be overwhelming for those who are already in a comprised physical and mental state.
Thank you Caring Bridge. These are all good suggestions.
Great ideas and I highly recommend this organization
Caraing Bridge is a wonderful resource and I commend you on the good work you do. The article on “how to comfort someone” did not feel like it had taken into account our current situation with Covid-19. I would love to give someone a hug or sit around a table and share a meal but those things are ones that were appropriate for another time. It might be good to recognize the reality of todays situation and be sensitive to whihc items may not be appropriate right now.
Caring Bridge posts were a life-saver for me after my son was hit from behind while running. He is now a quadriplegic but his spirits have remained good throughout and his wife has been an angel, helping with ALL that needs to be done for him. They have a very loving relationship and it was great to see pictures of them together on Caring Bridge posts. Thank you so much for being there for me. I live in North Carolina and Troy is in Washington state, and there has never been a good time to visit him. Your posts have kept us connected.
Most helpful. Thanks!
To Trina D Smith:
I can feel your pain and wish I could be there to give you an hour long hug. Prayer can be a friend. Don’t give up, there are people who care.
I live alone and I have Wilson’s disease and movement disorder since January of 2004 I had meningitis since a baby where they drained fluid out my brain and I had to relearn everything as a child I was mistreated by by my mom called stupid never a mount to nothing at 15 I was molested by my stepdad my mom is still with him all my life I suffered with depression and anxiety there were times I wanted to take my life twice cause lack of support I was made fun of by my family cause I wasn’t like them so now I my nerves have gotten bad to were my legs would buckle under me and I have tremors and jerking there were times that I had to go to the er and I would be ignored cause they would think I was doing it for attention that really hurts me I have a power chair it needed fixing since the third week of September I’m on Medicaid and I suppose to get a loaner still waiting I don’t drive I have a manual wheelchair the only ones that come is the nurse on Mondays and the aide on Mondays Wednesdays and Fridays for two hours I get Mom’s meals every other Thursdays I wear a lifeline button I have bars by the tub I don’t get it unless someone is here to help me in and out otherwise I bathe using the hospital pan my cat snookie is my company keeper he helps with my depression and anxiety it would just be nice to be thought of sometimes you know if just to visit bring something to eat take for a ride or just call me and say hi.
Caringbridge was very important to us as a family during our daughters hospitalization. It helped cut down the constant phone inquiries about her progress. We were Blessed that so many cared but we were too exhausted and emotional to take the calls. It was also encouraging to read About love and support from so many. I am very thankful this was made available to our family and friends.