We will disrupt the outdoor fun we have enjoyed with our Slip ‘N Slide and daily swim team practice as Daniel goes into Levine Children’s Hospital for spinal tap number eighteen this Monday morning. Fighting cancer is a full-time job and overtime is required once every three months when Daniel’s spinal fluid is checked for the prayerful absence of leukemic cells. While under sedation, Daniel’s also given an injection of chemotherapy drugs directly into the cerebrospinal fluid to help prevent a possible relapse. I am always a little nervous before this particular procedure and can convey my angst in less than constructive ways. Lee knew something was up the night before last when I responded to him in a bad tempered and critical manner. Proverbs 12: 18 says, “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” I found myself bearing a resemblance to the woman who once told evangelist Billy Sunday that she would often speak her mind ingenuously and frankly. She said, “Before I know it, the words leave my tongue; it is done quickly.” The wise preacher looked at the woman and answered, “So is the shotgun, but it blows everything to pieces.”
As I stood in the kitchen preparing a banana pudding for Lee yesterday, I boosted the volume on my iPod when Casting Crowns’ song “Slow Fade” began to play. Though tempted to relate the haunting message in the lyrics to current media coverage of a once rising political star in my home state, a deceased pop star and a former pin-up “angel,” I listened and reflecting on my own recent failure to tame my tongue had to admit that any unexamined life – or any part thereof – is not necessarily a quick “slip ‘n slide” spiral, but more like the “Slow Fade” of which Casting Crowns sings:
Be careful little eyes what you see
It’s the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings
Be careful little feet where you go
For it’s the little feet behind you that are sure to follow
It’s a slow fade when you give yourself away
It’s a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It’s a slow fade
Be careful little ears what you hear
When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near
Be careful little lips what you say
For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray
It’s a slow fade when you give yourself away
It’s a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
The journey from your mind to your hands
Is shorter than you’re thinking
Be careful if you think you stand
You just might be sinking
It’s a slow fade when you give yourself away
It’s a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
Daddies never crumble in a day
Families never crumble in a day
Casting Crowns’ frontman and songwriter Mark Hall’s little girl Reagan sings the tag: “Oh be careful little eyes what you see/ Oh be careful little eyes what you see/ For the Father up above is looking down in love/ Oh be careful little eyes what you see” reminding that our decisions always impact others – especially our children. On the band’s website, Mark comments about the inspiration for his lyrics found in Psalm 1, “Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on this law he meditates day and night…” He explains, “People don’t crumble in a day. You don’t fall, you fade. In your mind, there’s that pride that says ‘I’d never do that….’ But you don’t just do it. It’s a slow, series of compromises, little ones that go there eventually, until you’re sitting in a place you’d never go, doing something you’d never do… and yet the way you’re living totally makes sense to you somehow because you’re so numb.”
Life is a series of choices and each choice has a consequence. Whenever I choose to disregard the Lord’s authority in some part of my life -even that which can be rationalized as such a seemingly small area —I move in the wrong direction. An inch becomes a foot; the foot, a yard; the yard, a mile…and the next thing you know, you are 4,000 miles away in Argentina.
