History

Sunday, July 29, 2007 9:08 AM CDT

July 29, 2007 is my birthday. As I reflect back on all the birthdays that I have had, I cannot think of one of them that ever prepared me for the life that I live now with one of my “beautiful boy’s”. Sean has actually always been the one that I call “Beautiful Boy”. That is because I named him before he was conceived. I knew, on the day that John Lennon died, December 9, 1980, that I would name another son, “Sean” if I had one.

I was rocking and feeding my beautiful boy, Ben, in the early hours as I watched the news about Lennon’s assassination. Ben may not know this, but at that time and for two intense years following, I loved him beyond belief. I look back and now I recognize it as the obsessive love for a mother’s first born. And I did love him that way, obsessively, beyond everything or anyone else.

But as my sister once said, “Love never divides. It multiplies.” And so it was, when Todd and Sean were born, my love for each of my sons expanded exponentially. I love each of them, as much as I love one of them. And even though I know I feel that way about Ben and Todd, circumstances have forced me to “Love Sean More”. But, I would have done the same for Ben or Todd had the crash happened to them instead.

I sit here this morning, as Sean is still sleeping and I think about the life that I have lived so far. My regret this morning is that Ben and Todd may not feel the strength of my love for them. Todd calls faithfully, every day from Washington State. He tries so hard to share his life with me, and it seems like all I do is share Sean’s accomplishments and I know that I often seem impatient to get off of the phone because Sean needs me for something.

But I am also thankful, and I pray to God, that they never have to know just how much I do love them

Sean won’t make his walking goal today. That’s ok. He has already readjusted. He has now set that goal for Christmas. I think it is a far more appropriate birthday to for him to resurrect himself!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean, Todd and Ben’s MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, July 27, 2007 10:05 AM CDT

Thank you for the suggestion to write a book about Sean’s journey back to Life with a Traumatic Brain Injury, Karen. I think about it often, but I keep allowing “Life to get in the way”. I am going to make my goal to begin our book November 1.

Right now I have to begin gearing up to prepare for our move to a new apartment September 6. Sean will have the surgery on his toes on August 1, and it will take about 6 weeks for him to recoup.

Sean and I went to the Callier Center on the campus of UTD yesterday. We are hoping to get him in a speech therapy program that begins August 27 and mirrors the same semester as regular school. It will be two days a week from 9-11:30 a.m. That changes our plans for full time student completely. I think two classes in addition to the ST schedule will be about all that Sean will physically be able to manage. Since we are also busy with our Team business, I think that will be about all that the two of us can manage.

Sean is still hoping to make his walking goal for my birthday, July 29. I have told him that if he just manages 1 or 2 steps without me holding him up, we will celebrate that. I am not really concerned that he is not truly walking by then. The most important thing that he and I both can do is to set a goal. There is nothing wrong with adjusting that goal. One thing that we have learned from our business training is that if you never set a goal, you will definitely reach that one. We would be in the same place that we were. If you have no target to shoot at, you hit something that you don’t want, or the bullets fly and hit nothing.

We both know that the day will come and Sean will truly walk. After all, there was a time when he couldn’t even open his eyes. There was a time when he couldn’t hold his head up off of his headrest. There was a time when it took two people to lift him and place him in his wheelchair or in his bed. Just look at how far he has come!!!!

Life is good!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean’s MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, July 25, 2007 9:22 AM CDT

I have finally had time to slow down and catch up on reading a "Guidepost" that came while Sean and I were on our vacation, and then our Lansing trip.

That little magazine is always so uplifting and the stories always make you aware of the power of God in other people's lives.

Imagine as I turned the pages and came across a story of this website, "The Caringbridge" and the founder, Sona Mehring. I was so excited when I first read it and then as I told Sean about the article, the tears came.

I remember back to the moment when our lives forever changed. Thanks to the suggestion of my sister, Meri-Jac, we started this website in our darkest moments. Meri-Jac wrote the very first entry. For those of you reading now who never read that entry, here it is:

"As most of you know by now Sean was critically injured in a motor vehicle accident early Easter morning. Sean was a passenger in a pickup truck that went out of control and impacted a tree on Sean's side.

Sean is currently on life support in the Trauma ICU at Parkland Memorial Hospital in Dallas. While he has many critical injuries we are truly thankful that he is holding his own and has a wonderful medical team supporting him.

While some people think his angel was sleeping on the job, we prefer to believe that his angel has been working overtime to help him survive the crash, keep him alive and allow his body to begin restoring itself. Of course we know that God's hand is on Sean and his entire medical team and that the why's of all of this are not for us to know at this time."

I now know that we will never have an answer for what has happened. I also know that not a day goes by that I don't see Sean for just a brief moment "BC" before crash, and then the reality floods back, yet I still believe that life is "great".

This website, "the Caringbridge" helped me live through the early days of not knowing if my beautiful boy would even survive. It allowed me to purge my soul, and also allowed you to throw me a lifeline with your entries into our guestbook.

Because Sean meets new people nearly every day, and because I can tell by the number of hits this website continues to have, I will continue to write.

Each day is a victory to the grace of God. Each day Sean is able to gain a tiny bit of movement back is still a thrill for the two of us.

Thank you, Sona, for creating this site. And thank you, all of you wonderful people who work for "the Caringbridge".

This site is totally supported by charitable contributions. Please think of "the Caringbridge" if you ever have need of sharing a loved one's story. If you ever have a thought of donating to a wonderful organization, please consider "the Caringbridge".

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, July 22, 2007 9:15 PM CDT

Sean and I both felt good about the orthopedic surgeon who will be doing his surgery on August 1. The official diagnosis for Sean's condition is hammertoes. His toes curl down painfully so when he is up on his feet, it causes a great deal of pain for him. I am praying that this will be the last surgery that he will have to endure and that it will also facilitate his walking.

Sean and I had a great weekend down at Sarah and Roger's. Roger's son, Michael was there and Sarah's daughter Jennie and her husband, John and baby Atlee had also driven over from Austin.

Sean really enjoyed the time he spent with Michael and Roger. And it was so good visiting with Sarah and seeing her beautiful daughter and granddaughter.

We ended up spending Saturday night as well, but got up fairly early and headed home. We were happy that we were able to get home in time to get Sean into the shower and then we made it to church.

Driving home I thought about the friendship that Sarah and I have shared over the years. I hate to admit, but she and I have known each other more than 30 years. I guess she is truly the friend I have known the longest. As all friendships do, the years have ebbed and flowed, but in time of joy, sorrow, and crisis, we always ended up turning toward each other for little "pick me up" girl talk. Even though years might have passed between visits, I feel that we have always been one of each other's source of strength. I know that her friendship has meant so much to me since Sean's accident. When things were the darkest, and for more than a year, that is how life was, Sarah would call and just knowing that she cared helped me live through those bleak times..

Now we are again enjoying our joys together. I am so happy to see that she is happy in her home in Houston. And she in turn, rejoices with me over each of Sean's victories.

Sarah thought that Sean had made so many improvements since she had seen him last. She even thought that his face looked different. We finally decided that it is because the muscles in his face are more mobile.

Todd is trying to get vacation time approved so that he can come down with Kori and Joey around Christmas time. Although it is summer, Christmas time is right around the corner and will be here before any of us know it!

I wanted to share a few more pictures from our vacation.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, July 19, 2007 6:58 PM CDT

Sean and I are going to drive down to Houston tomorrow evening to visit my dear friend Sarah and her husband Roger. We haven't seen Sarah since the three of us had our New York City adventure. Before the summer gets away from us, we decided to get together. It will be a short trip. We will come home Saturday evening, but we are looking forward to it.

One thing that I have learned through this journey of Sean's is that friendships are so important. Truly, the memories that you create with others are all that you can carry with you. All the rest of life is just, trappings.

I have to take Sean to Baylor Surgery Center for a preadmit visit Friday afternoon. He is then going to his preop visit with Dr. Sackett, who will correct the problem that Sean has with his toes curling under. Surgery is scheduled for August 1. Sean's doctors appointment is at 3, and we are hoping it won't take too long. We would like to be on the Houston side of Dallas before the traffic gets too terrible. Although it will be Friday afternoon, so the traffic jams begin around noon.

At this point I have no idea what to expect as far as recovery time for Sean. I really have no details to share on the surgery. Dr. Wynne Snoots was going to do the surgery. He operated on Sean's legs to correct his "drop foot" and we were hoping that he would do this one, but he had medical problems of his own so he will not be operating for awhile. We really didn't want to put Sean's surgery off any longer because school will be starting up and our Red River trip in September will be here before we know it.

I have a few more pictures of some of the scenery that we saw on our trip through Yellowstone but will wait until Sunday to post them.

We hope that all of you have a wonderful weekend.

Thank you for sharing and Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, July 18, 2007 0:48 AM CDT

We had a great day of REST on Monday, although Sean did get right back on his NuStep and ride 4444 steps. He is so funny. Today he rode 5555 steps. He has made up his mind that he will always ride on the highest resistance, so he has ridden on 10 for the last 10 days at least (except when we were in Lansing).

I asked him tonight if he was going to reach his walking goal on my birthday as he planned and he let me know that nothing was changing. It may only be two steps on his own, but he is determined that he will do that.

We have been leaving his wheelchair in the living room most of the day. I walk him in and out of the bedroom and into the bathroom. He gets both arms up on my shoulders and I use his belt to help him stand upright and he is now able to walk fairly erect. His steps are becoming more sure.

Tonight when we went to Whataburger after our Team meeting, Chrissy helped him walk into his seat at a table. This was the first time that several of our team members have seen him walk. Our plan is that when we have house meetings in the future, we will leave his chair in the truck and he will walk into the home.

Life is good and getting better!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, July 16, 2007 10:22 AM CDT

We returned Sunday night from a power packed weekend of Team Leadership Training. By the time we picked up our baggage and got home and I was able to get Sean to bed it was well after midnight. We were both exhausted, but I could tell all evening as we made our way home on the plane that Sean was more than just fatigue. The weekend took a toll on his motor skills and his emotions, but it is something he will now be able to recover with enough rest. I will have to be sure that he gets enough rest to recharge his brains batteries.

Sometimes it is hard for others to remember that Sean’s brain has to work so much harder than before his accident because it has to constantly work to redirect the thoughts and movements that he does have now. But after the weekend we spent we know more than ever that Team is the business for us. Sean has set some stiff goals for us, and we are both committed to the goals, so as soon as he gets fully rested, we will get started. That means, he rests today and tonight and then we begin.

The weekend was spent in the Breslin Center at Michigan State University. I heard that the capacity of the arena was about 19,000 and it appeared to be close to capacity on Saturday night. We listened to numerous speakers, most were husband and wife business partners who have found great success not only monetarily but exponentially in their personal growth. Two of the speakers heard about Sean and his desire to succeed with Team, and they made the point of coming up to our level of the arena to seek Sean out and give him words of encouragement. Larry VanBuskirk, and his wife, Marsie, came up and talked to Sean during one of the breaks Saturday evening. Another one, Tim Marks, came up to our seats, but Sean and I were away at the time.

I was sitting there later in the evening, thinking about similar events that I have attended in the past. In other organizations, there is no way a CEO or company officer of a huge corporation would probably never make the effort to meet someone who was at the very bottom of the organization. In fact at most of the events that I have ever attended in this type of venue, the people on the floor would be isolated from the masses. Go up into the stands? Why they would never consider it.

Our friend, Chrissy Bird, flew to Detroit a day early with us. Although we didn’t really do anything Thursday afternoon, we were able to get there and reduce some of Sean’s stress and fatigue. Friday morning we got up and picked up two more of our teammates and then headed east from Detroit to our seminar location in Lansing, Michigan. We stopped and had lunch in Livonia, MI, and Sean and I had our first experience eating Indian food. Sean loves extremely flavorful foods so he really enjoyed his meal.

We arrived at the campus and found our rooms and unloaded everything. By the time Sean and I got dressed for the evening it was time to roll down to the Breslin Center. Meetings lasted until after midnight that night. Making our way through the throngs of people, all intent on getting out of the arena and home for the evening was extremely difficult. I walked beside Sean, honking his horn so that people would make way for him to get out. Maneuvering through dense crowds is extremely difficult for Sean because he can only see the back in front of him. He is disadvantaged because of the height that he is sitting while everyone else is walking. Not only that, his chair moves silently so people are usually not aware that he is behind them and they unwittingly move back and forth in front of him, becoming obstacles of frustration for him. By the time we break out of crowds like that, I am usually nervous wreck myself. We both made a pact that in the future we would either leave a few minutes early, or wait out the bulk of the crowd so that we could eliminate some of that stress.

Saturday’s meetings started at 10 a.m. and it was again midnight when we made our way to our room. The night air in Michigan was absolutely beautiful. The air was crisp and cool and because of the lack of humidity it felt so much cleaner than it does here in Dallas in the summer. By Saturday evening, the fatigue was setting in, and Sean stretched out in a dark corner under a stairwell and napped a little bit. Sunday morning began with a religious service, and then more training.

We had to leave the campus a little early to make our way to the airport. Once we were loaded up in the van until we actually got on board our plane, I felt as though we were on an out of control rollercoaster.

This is where the power of the Team really helped. After making our way through security, I had to find a restroom that Sean and I could share together so that I could help him. This airport had no “family” or “personal” restrooms, either. Ramey Hutson and Maggie Bryant blocked a woman’s restroom and kept women out. When Sean and I made our way out of the restroom, there was a line of about 15-20 woman waiting in line to get in. Sean was thirsty and Chris Bryant immediately stepped up and got a bottle of water for him. He was hungry and Maggie Bryant gave him half of her sandwich. I had to help the baggage crew get Sean’s wheelchair out to the cargo area outside onto the runway, and Chrissy walked Sean onboard the plane and got him in his seat. Everyone’s concern and help made this the best trip that Sean and I have taken since his crash.

Sean had the opportunity to touch many hearts this weekend. His smile never wavered and even if you someone only met him for a moment his quick wit was apparent. Although the weekend was physically taxing on him, Sean and I were motivated by the entire seminar experience. We have made the commitment to attend the next seminar which will be held in Louisville, Kentucky, in October. We know that we will be able to earn our way there. We both truly believe that this will be the answer for our future.

Sean and I have tremendous obstacles because of his physical disabilities, but we also feel that this business will allow me to continue to perform the 24/7 care that Sean requires and it will also allow us to secure his future. Sean is trapped in his body, but we truly believe that God led us to this business, knowing that Sean is fully capable of achieving success. Although others are attempting to require Sean to prove that he can perform, the Team “knows” that he can and they make every effort to assist him in his success.

Sean and I have spent nearly every waking moment (as well as every sleeping moment) since his crash together. For two years I lived daily wondering if there would ever be a way out of the constant worry and the physical demands of caring for my beautiful boy. When we first made the decision to begin this new business I could not imagine doing one more thing. We were mired in “therapy land” and “care giver” land. Now we are just two people working together for a common goal. Each night we pray to God and thank him for the day that we have spent together. We know that we will never have the answer for why this happened to Sean, when millions of others have horrible crashes and walk away almost unscathed. We do know that God has shown us both that there is life and happiness even in the midst of this tragedy. He has helped us see that no obstacle is too high. As long as we make the effort, He will support us. We are held in His Hands each day.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean’s MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, July 11, 2007 10:42 AM CDT

We left Colorado Springs and when we made the left turn at Laramie we began our drive through the high plains desert of Wyoming. There isn't much to see there except an occasional herd of prong horn antelope or deer, dirt and sagebrush.

We drove to Rock Springs, Wyoming that night. Believe me, that is about all that I could see was rock! At least from the two passes we made through this town, that is about all we saw. That was the nigt that we discovered that Days Inn have THE BEST handicapped accessible bathrooms of almost any hotel chain we have stayed in since Sean's crash. In fact, that proved to be true the next night as well. I had made a reservation at a Comfort Inn in Twin Falls, Idaho, but when I called them found out that their rooms only had bathtubs with handrails. Knowing that, we stopped at the Days Inn in Jerome, Idaho, and got a room for our last night on the road before Todd's. Once again, a great, accessible room at a really great price! That's when I decided that for the trip home we would wing it and just get a room where ever we stopped for the night. Days Inn has really got my vote, though. They now even have coffee in their rooms, which is another big deal for me.

One other thing that I learned from our travels, which had been a great concern for me starting out, was that the roadside parks pretty much all have personal bathrooms so that Sean and I could go in together and I could help him without the humiliation or discomfort we face in the airports or a lot of other public places.

After leaving Twin Falls, we were still in high desert as we drove through Boise. This terrain continued (I think) until we passed through Baker City. Then the mountains began again as we finalized our drive. The anticipation of seeing Todd, Kori and Joey again was so great that we didn't even stop for a meal. Each time I had to make a rest stop for myself I would spin Sean out in his car seat and then let him stretch his legs while I ran into the restroom. When I came out I would stand him up and we would walk a few steps and then get back in and go.

Pretty much the last stop that I made was to gas up in Oregon and grab a cople of deli sandwiches and we were in the "getting there" mode. The mountains were awesome, but we came down into the Columbia Basin, it was even better knowing that had arrived!!!

Now for this week happenings. Sean and I went to church Sunday evening, and he asked me to "walk" him up for communion. I think that he touched everyone's heart, for many of them had not seen him walk like this before. Jennie Churchman, our pastor, nearly had tears as she watched Sean approach. That was a great evening and I am still euphoric with the feeling from the experience.

Monday and Tuesday were whirlwind days. Sean had to do vocational testing at Pate Rehabilitation. We are still trying to get him qualified for Disability and Rehab Services of Texas or DARS. I thought I was going to be able to drop him off and then get some things done, but that was not to be. I had to sit with him during the testing and "bubble" in his answers on scan sheets. There were a couple of times when I almost regressed in my own attitude as I realized how difficult basic every day tasks such as turning a page, or reading paragraphs and answering questions are for Sean now. Then I reminded myself, "Doesn't Matter, Doesn't Matter, Doesn't Matter". What is important is that he is here on this earth, that he is happy, making friends, having fun and making a difference. We also are certain that he will be making money with The Team, so I feel confident of his future. One thing that testing tries to do is force everyone into a certain mold. Sean broke the mold when he came out of his coma and progressed as he has, so the tests results won't concern me. I know how he is now, and you know how he is now. Isn't he great?

Sean and I will be at The University of Michigan in Lansing, Thursday through Sunday so this may be my last entry until Monday morning.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, July 8, 2007 8:45 AM CDT

On Friday, June 8, we left the Coopers and headed on up to Colorado Springs for Baby Ava Claire Walton's 1st Ever Birthday. Ava's Mom, Jenn, is Aunt Meri-Jac's daughter. Ava is her grandbaby, making her Sean's (second?) cousin. Oh well, you understand.

We were very lucky this past year because we were able to attend Mia and Max's first birthday party in September of 2006, in Minneapolis. Now we were all together again for Ava's 1st. Sean and I had such a good time. Ava's guest list was long. Her Granpa Erv Johnson and his wife Joann from Minot, North Dakota, were there. As were her Grandma Meri-Jac and her husband Jeff, from Fargo, ND. Her Aunt Eryn and Uncle Randy Witt and Uncle Tobin and Aunt Annette and cousins Mia and Max, all from Minneapolis had flown in.

We arrived in Colorado Springs on Friday evening of June 8, stayed for the birthday party on the 9th and left out for Rock Springs, Wyoming on Sunday the 10th. I have already written about the hotel follies, so I won't go into any more details about that.

I am kind of posting pictures in the order of our trip and that is why you haven't seen baby Joey yet. His picture will be on soon.

Now that we have been home for a week, I guess I need to bring you up to date on current affairs as well. The trip left me extremely tired. I am just now normalizing and feeling more like myself. Sean went through the same "funk" that I did at the beginning of he week, but he snapped out of it quicker than I did. I guess that is the resiliancy of youth.

Friday afternoon, Sean's Dad, Danny, came for a visit. I left the two of them for a private visit while I ran out to do a couple of errands.

Friday evening our friend, Chrissy Bird, came over and swapped vehicles, picked up Sean and took him to see "The Transformers" at the cinema. They met Chris and Maggie Bryant and afterwards the four of them went to Metro Grill. Chrissy got Sean home around 1 a.m. He was so excited and was even talking about it the next morning. Andy Cooper had told Sean he needed to go see the movie. Andy had seen it and thought it "the best movie ever". Well, Sean thought it was equally as good. On top of that, when he went to Metro Grill he actually flirted with the waitress who turned out to be a speech pathology student attending UTD. He also said that it was so much fun spending the evening with Chrissy, Maggie and Chris, and he wants to do it again .

This was a huge evening for him. He went out like most other young people do, AND, he didn't have to have his mother with him! Do you know that outside of the couple of times that Ben and Cheryl have taken him out it was the first time that he had an opportunity to go without me? As much as Sean and I love each other, and as much as we are together, it was so good to let him go and enjoy himself without feeling as though he depended on me for his happiness.

Chrissy, Maggie and Chris are all team members of The Team (our team and business partners and mentors). There is truly something special about this group of people that we have joined forces with.

Saturday, Bob, Sean and I went out and found a new apartment to move into. We have outgrown this one, with the addition of Sean's NuStep. In addition, this is just a two bedroom and we wanted to have room for Todd and Kori when they came down. Not only that, we need to try to trim our budget. I have now been off work for 2 and a half years and Sean and I have very little funds left. Bob is having to pick up so much of our financial burden that we needed to try to cut back on our living expenses where possible.

As it turned out. With the help of an apartment listing agent, we were able to find another apartment over in the Whiterock Lake area. It has a parking garage, which really helps when the weather is inclement and I have to get Sean in or out. Th apartment is two bedroom with a den that we can convert into a guest room if we have overnight company. In addition, Sean can actually roll his wheelchair into his bathroom and turn around which is an impossibility here. Probably the biggest bonus is that we will be at the busy intersection of Garland and Buckner, and there are actually restaurants and shops there. Sean thinks that once I lose my fear, he will be able to get out a little bit on his own and just gain a little more independence. We are within walking distance of a Boston Market, Chili's, El Fenix, Starbucks and a grocery store.

Although this apartment complex that we live in now is nice, the rent keeps going up and other than Baylor Rehab, there really is nowhere else that we can walk to. In addition, the neighborhood does not always feel safe. I had the cutest little welcome sign hanging outside our door and it was stolen while we were on vacation. At the new apartments, I noticed that many of the residents had cute things outside their doors so there is obviously a sense of respect for other peoples belongings.

Probably the best thing, though, is that it is right on Whiterock Lake, in the area I lived before Sean's accident. I will be able to get back out on the Trails of Whiterock (also the name of our new apartment complex) and walk again.

Life is good!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, July 5, 2007 6:05 PM CDT

Starting our trip, and ending our trip with Andy Cooper's family was so much fun. Stopping in Borger for the night after Wichita Falls, we joined Scott and Lori (Andy's parents) for dinner, along with Andy and their preacher and his wife. It had been a long time since we had seen them all. Andy graduated from BIR and then Pate, long before Sean did. Andy's grandparents were so kind to pay for our room at a motel in Borger, and came to visit us when we arrived in town.

On the way home, our last night on the road, Andy's grandparents had invited us to spend the night in their home. We got their early on Friday, the 29th, so we had the whole day to visit. Sean and Andy really enjoyed their time together. Grandpa Jim had made a board game that Andy usually plays with him, but he quickly taught Sean how to play and the young men spent several hours playing WaHoo together. Sean would just "howl" when he beat Andy. They also spent several hours together outside of Any's "clubhouse" a trailer home that was behind the Cooper's home. Andy writes songs, and thoughts in a notebook. He spent the time sharing his stories with Sean. He is actually quite a prolific writer. I encouraged him to keep his writing up and perhaps he can write a book someday.

Jim and Annette Cooper, Andy's grandparents, have a beautiful home and they were so generous sharing it with us on our journey home. I enjoyed my visit with both of them while the young man spent time together. Friday evening after work, Andy's folks, Scott and Lori and several of their relatives came over and joined us. We had homemade ice cream, and bread pudding and then the guys shot off fire works. They were really beautiful ones and I got to say "Ooh and Aw" a bunch!

Jim and Annette's home has three steps up from the kitchen into the rest of their home and I was so proud of Sean as we managed to walk up the steps and through the living room and down the hall to the bathroom and bedroom. It took help from Andy and his Grandpa for me to get Sean down the stairs back into the kitchen and his chair, but we did it every time!

We are so thankful for the hospitality and generosity of friendship that the Coopers shared with us. There is something about a loved ones brain injury that draws families together, especially when it involves two young men.

Sean walked often on our trip so now that we are home and we have clean carpet in our bedrooms, Sean is leaving his wheelchair in the living room and we struggle to walk back and forth to his bed and his bathroom. We are trying hard to keep the carpets clean.

Thank you for sharing and Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, July 3, 2007 9:51 PM CDT

Some of this may be repetitive, but I will try to tell you the story of our trip as it goes along with our pictures. When we left Dallas on the first day, we drove directly to Wichita Falls. We wanted to stop in and visit with Vyvyan Davis and Debbie Barrow. Both of them work on campus at Midwestern State University. Debbie works in the Presidents office, so we met there. Debbie and Vyvyan have been ever faithful troops in Sean's Army of Angels. We probably spent nearly an hour visiting with them. It is very special to be able to thank people in person who have supported us through their words, thoughts and prayers.

From there we checked into our motel and then drove to Cheddars and met Brian Wible and his friend Lance for dinner. I have another picture that I could have used where Sean and Brian were comparing their bellies after we had eaten, but Lance was not in that one.

The next morning Tonye Shirey came to our hotel to lead us to the State Hospital. She is another one of Sean's Army of Angels whom we had never met. Tonye has twin boys the same age as Sean and Todd so she has a special place in her heart for my sons. She is one of those people who manage to make every other phrase out of their mouth come out funny. She had Sean and I in stitches.

It was really special for Sean and I to have the privilege of meeting these ladies. And it is so nice to now be able to put faces with their entries in Sean's guestbook.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, July 2, 2007 8:38 PM CDT

Our time with Kori, Joey and Todd seemed so short. Although we were there for 12 days, I know that Todd and Sean could have spent man more days together. I know that Todd is happy with his family in Washington, but he is having a hard time getting the "Texas" out of his soul.

We had an opportunity to meet most of Todd and Kori's friends and I was really impressed with all of them. They seemed close and Todd really seemed a part of the group. The guys tease Todd because Kori has one of his old modeling comp cards on the fridge and they call him "ZooZoo".

Todd spent every moment that he could with Sean, and that time was very short the first several days because he was working. At night after I would get Sean into bed, Todd would go in and lay down with him and I would have to finally run him out so that they could both get some sleep.

Todd and Kori have a really nice home. Their house has a "great room" that incorporates kitchen, dining and living areas so Sean's chair didn't overwhelm the space. They have a big fenced in back yard and Joey spends a great deal of time playing out there.

Joey didn't have any problem warming up too, as he calls him, "Nuncle Sean". Joey has a battery powered "gator", and Sean would chase him around the yard while in his wheelchair. They both laughed so hard. Sean loved his little nephew and always looked forward to being woken up in the morning with "Hi Nuncle Sean!"

I will probably be writing each day this week to catch you up on our travels.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, July 1, 2007 11:05 PM CDT

Something is wrong with our computer. Everytime I take it on the road with me, I come home and it doesn’t work. I have scanned it with 3 different anti-virus software packages. I am beginning to think that there is a hardware problem. Anyway, I have messed around with it off and on all day and never had a chance to update the journal. I have not even had an opportunity to read any of your guestbook entries yet.

Since it is already late I will have to beg off for another day. There are stories to tell and kindnesses to share. Please be patient with me. I didn’t realize that I was so tired until today. I have been busy trying to get clothes washed and everything packed or put away in its place.

Bob had surprised me and cleaned the carpets in our bedrooms so our apartment looked so nice when we got home. Bed never felt so good to Sean and to me. Getting Sean into the bath this morning was so much easier because we knew our routine here at home. Although our apartment is not truly handicap accessible, all of the doors are wide enough for Sean’s wheelchair. We didn’t realize what a regular house would be like since we have never really spent time in one since Sean’s crash.

I will attempt a brief note to pick the journal up where I left it last. Todd, Kori, Joey, Sean and I all drove up to Yakima, Washington to visit with Leone Nunley and her son David McRae. We had such an enjoyable visit. Leone is working hard through letters and with her book to improve the lives of others who have survived traumatic brain injury. For those of you who are interested, you can order her book, “Fighting for David” from Amazon.com or any of the other major bookstores. David showed us how he now walks with his walker. He had to have 5 and a half centimeters of his brain removed and it was in the frontal lobe, where the speech center is located. He obviously is right there with you in conversation and can say some words, but it made me aware of how blessed Sean is that he is able to use his computer/Rolltalk to communicate with us.

Leone was a wonderful hostess. She even cooked lunch for us! Dr. Carlile once told Sean that he is in a club that nobody ever wants to join. It is the club of brain injury survivors. Well, there is another club. This other club is made up of parents and siblings of those survivors. Leone and I immediately bonded and I wish we could have spent more time with her and David. As it was, we had a memorable visit. She is a remarkable woman who has cared for her son for more than 19 years now.

Sean and I are so thankful that we made this journey to Washington. I have to be honest and tell you that it was not an easy one. It took me about 3 hours each morning to get us both dressed, fed and the truck repacked. Then it took another 2-3 hours each evening to get the truck unpacked, Sean showered and ready for bed, and myself ready for the next day. It was physically exhausting because I had to support Sean as he walked so much more than I do at home. I was so proud of him, though. He was a trooper!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean’s MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, July 1, 2007 10:35 AM CDT

We are home!

Sometime today I will sit down and update this journal. I can not fully detail all that we have seen, but I will share with you what I can recall that I think you will be interested in.

The thing that I will share with you now is that Sean was the absolute best travling companion! He would ride and ride and never really complain even though I know he would get extremely uncomfortable.

I know that 23 days seems like a really long time, but he now agrees that if we had a huge motor coach (one of our dreams), he would love to just travel the USA. As an adult he has only traveled to big cities, so he enjoyed the grandeur of the mountains and the starkness of the desert high plains.

We were so glad to arrive home safely. Traveling more than 5,000 miles, anything could have happened. Things did, but they were always good things.

Right now I am going to just look at the Sunday paper and enjoy being at home!

Thank you for continuing to care and to share,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, June 21, 2007 0:34 AM CDT

Todd had Lasik Surgery on Tuesday and has had to take a couple of days off to recover. His eyes were extremely sore when he came home Tuesday after the surgery and he slept most of the afternoon. He was able to sit up with us in the darkened room that evening, but the light has been bothering him, making his eyes burn and hurt so he has stayed home today and tomorrow.

Kori took us up to the Old Country Mercantile in North Pasco this afternoon and we wandered around looking at all of the food products made at the farm. We had a lot of fun and Sean came home with a jar of hot pickled asparagus.

Tomorrow we are going to drive up to Yakima to visit Leone Nunley and her son David. She wrote a book about him titled "Fighting for David" that is the story of their journey back from his brain injury when he was 22. David is now 38. After I heard about her book I had e-mailed her and she and David are eager to meet Sean and I. We spoke by phone today and arranged our meeting tomorrow. We have decided just to drive up to Yakima so that Sean and I can see a little bit of Yakima.

We have had beautiful weather for our visit here, although today was almost 100 degrees. We have heard about the storms in Texas and are hoping that all of you are safe.

I am sorry I cannot post any pictures right now. I have been taking a lot of them, but I forgot the cable to use to download them. I priced the cable today, but the cost just didn't make it worth our while, since we already have two cables at home. Instead I bought another memory card for the camera that increases the capacity and actually was less then a cable. Figure that?

Thank you for sharing and Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, June 17, 2007 1:39 PM CDT

We have not really had much opportunity to visit with Todd because of his long hours and his work schedule, but he will be off for a couple of days starting on Monday. Joey's big birthday bash will be tomorrow evening.

Saturday evening, after Todd got home and we ate dinner the brothers decided that it would be good for Sean to get some exercise, so Todd got Sean down on the floor and they rolled around for a little while, stretching Sean and pretending that they were wrestling. I have some great pictures and can't wait to post them, but I have to get a cable for the camera to PC hook up. I forgot ours in Texas.

I wish that you could actually see the love that the twins have between them. Todd is always looking over Sean's shoulder as they talk to each other with Sean answering and commenting using his Rolltalk. I think that our parting this time will be even harder on the two of them than any of our previous ones.

Did I tell you about Sean chasing Joey around the backyard? Sean is in his wheelchair and Joey is in his battery powered ATV, and they drive around and around the back yard. Joey thinks that it is so funny when Sean goes after him. Sean is really enjoying this visit because Joey interacts with him now that he is a little older. The chair no longer intimidates him as it used to.

Kori, Joey, Sean and I are going to drive out to Prosser this afernoon where Kori's folks live. She wants to show us how pretty the farm is now that the hops are really growing up the poles. I will have to take pictures of that as well. A lot of people don't know that hops is the flavoring used to brew beer and most certainly have never seen the plant that produces them. Kori's Dad, Joe, manages a hops farm that is one of the largest hops producers in the nation. He also grows cherries and apples.

The weather is so beautiful here right now. Sean has already decided that he needs a "Washington Summer Home". The temperature gets up to the low 80's during the day and drops to the mid 50's at night. Not only that it is so dry, and the air feels cleaner up here. That may have to do with the lack of humidity, I am not sure.

We are both really enjoying our time here. Right now I am planning our journey back to start on Monday the 24th, so we still have an entire week to look forward to with Todd and his family.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, June 15, 2007 0:01 AM CDT

I haven't shared the story of "God's Hand" traveling with us and caring for us.

Sean and I woke up excited on Tuesday morning knowing that it was the last day of our journey and we would finally see Todd, Kori and Joey that evening. I got the truck all packed up, loaded Sean and as I did I noticed that one of the tires looked a little low. I remember thinking that the tire looked a little low the day before, but I had forgotten about it. I can remember my Dad talking to me long ago on one of our travels across country that with the changing altitude it can affect tire pressure, so you need to check them.

There was an 18 wheeler repair shop right next to the hotel, so I drove over and asked them if they could check the tires for me. Our truck tires use an oversize gauge and I didn't have one with me. One of the guys was airing up each tire. Each one of them was low. As he got all the way around the truck and came to the last tire, he noticed a long deep, gash in it.

Ordinarily a person would be upset knowing that they would have to buy a new tire. I cried as I was telling the guys in the shop about Sean and what a blessing it was that they found the gash in the tire. I honestly do not know what I would have done had the tire blown out while on the road with Sean. They couldn't help me by replacing the tire. They didn't sell tires, so I got into the truck with tears streaming down my face and laughingly, I told Sean that they probably thought I was crazy because I was so happy that I had a bad tire.

But I wasn't happy about the tire. I was happy that something made me think of my tires. I was happy that I pulled into that shop to air them up. I was so happy that the gash had rolled to the top of the tire so that we could see it. I was so happy that we had not had to spend the money on the room in Colorado Springs, so it was easy to pay for that tire.

They suggested that I drive down the highway to the next exit to the Les Schwab tire store, which I did. They had a tire in stock very similar to the ones that were already on the truck, and they changed it right away. I had kidded with Sean about God saving us money in Colorado Springs. I guess this was why.

I truly feel that God was traveling with us and Sean and I stopped for a moment to thank him.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, June 13, 2007 1:23 PM CDT

We have arrived!!!

It is so good to be here and finally see how much Joey has grown in the last 14 months. He talks up a storm and is such a loving little boy. Sean and I get so tickled because he calls Sean "Nuncle Sean". This morning he ran into the bedroom where Sean was sleeping and said "Get up Nuncle Sean! Get Up!"

Todd looks as though he is a little thinner since we were here last and Kori is as pretty as ever.

Todd and a friend built a wheelchair ramp into the house through the garage so Sean can get in and out easily. He so wants his brother to be completely comfortable.

I know that we will have a lot to share, but right now we are catching up on much needed rest. Todd has to work today, and then will be off tomorrow. He returns to work Saturday and Sunday, then will be off next week for Joey's birthday and his Lasik surgery on Tuesday. I know our visit will not be long enough, but we will have to get all of the love in that we can for now.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's (and Todd's and Ben's) MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, June 11, 2007 8:34 PM CDT

Traveling is not always easy when you really need hndicap accessible facilities. We found that out first hand when we arrived in Colorado Springs. I had made an online reservation for a handicap room at a major hotel chain. Since Sean and I have not done an excessive amount of traveling since his crash, I had no idea that a hotel might have a room classified as handicapped when all that it had accessible was a flashing light for the hearing impaired. Well, that is the kind of room we were given when we arrived. My sister and her husband were staying in the same hotel and had gone to the front desk at 9 a.m. and told them that we would be needing a roll-in shower and they assured her that our room would have one.

What a huge surprise when I unloaded everything out of the truck after checking in and I opened the door to the room and Sean and I looked and there was barely room for his wheelchair to get between the bed and the TV armoire. Then I looked in the bathroom, and there was not way it was accessible. After going to the front desk and having them check all around, there was no luck for another hotel that had a roll-in shower. They told me that they would comp our room 50% and would move us on Saturday. Sean and I were so tired, we decided to just live with that.

Unfortunately, the next day was no better. They did assign us a fully handicapped room, but it had a big bathroom with a bathtub! When I went back down to tell them that the room was unacceptable, they actually booked us into another hotel, that was a step up and they actually direct billed the room to their hotel and comped us our etire stay.

Too me that was a demonstration of providing superb customer service and because of that I will definitely try this chain again.

Nothing is easy for us when we travel. There is no such thing as a "quick stop". Anyone else might be able to gas up and make a restroom stop within 20 minutes. Sean and I are lucky to get the process completed in an hour. He has been a trooper though and I can promise we will continue to make road trips.

We are now ensconced in our room in Twin Falls, Idaho and will actually be at the "Carter Inn" on Tuesday night!!! Sean and I decided that pizza delivered to our room was the way to go tonight. It has just been delivered, so I will sign off for now.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, June 10, 2007 9:46 PM CDT

This is the first time that I have been on the computer since we left home. For some reason I thought I would have time each day to login but it has not worked out that way.

Sean has already shared with you the wonderful visit we had with Andy Coopers folks, Scott and Lori, as well as with Andy's grandparents, James and Annette Cooper. His grandparents were so kind to have invited us to stay with them on our way back home to Dallas. We are planning on being back there in Borger, June 29, and then will drive the rest of the way home on Saturday the 30th.

Friday afternoon we arrived in Colorado Springs just in time to join my sister, Aunt Meri-Jac, and her husband Jeff, (from Wahepaton, North Dakota) cousin Eryn and her husband Randy (from Minneapolis), cousin Jen and her husband Ross, (our Colorado Springs hosts) at The Flying W Ranch for dinner. The girls Dad, Erv Johnson and his wife Joanne had driven down from Minot, North Dakot and were also there. The Flying W is an actual working ranch that has a chuckwagon dinner followed by a country western music. Sean and I were parking right out front in a handicapped spot and I started talking to a cowboy that was standing outside with a broom. We were both so surprised to find out that he had graduated from S & S Highschool! That is the school that the boys graduated from. Small world, isn't it?

The next day was full of family at Jen and Ross's. Tobin and Annette and Mia and Max flew in really early from Minneapolis. I walked Sean into Ross and Jenn's from the truck, and he sat at the dining room table and ate breakfast with everyone. I then walked him into the living room and he sat on the couch. Later we walked down to Ross and Jenn's room so that he could take a nap. I had run to the Hotel and while I was gone Sean woke up. I walked back into Ross and Jenn's and Eryn and Randy had gotten Sean up and Sean's cousin, Tobin was actually putting Sean's contacs in his eyes! We all enjoyed the family time and watching the three babies, Ava-the birthday girl, Mia and Max, all playing. We celebrated Ava's 1st birthday and finally made it back to our hotel about 9. Sean was worn out from all of the walking he had done with me.

This morning, the clan all came by the hotel to help me load the truck and to wish us farewell. We spent about 6 or 7 hours driving today. Sean got out of the truck about 3 times to stretch and we stopped at a roadside rest area and I took him in to use the restroom. We were so happy because they had a family restroom, so we were able to go in and have total privacy.

Tonight we are staying in Rock Springs, Wyoming and then will drive onto Twin Falls, Idaho tomorrow. Then Tuesday we will arrive in Pasco at Todd, Kori and Joey's. We are so excited!

Little incidents have happened all along our trip that have made us both feel as the the hand of God is with us as we travel.

Sean found out that his friend, Jennie Matthews, from the Grayson County Courthouse, lost her battle with lung cancer this weekend. We are so sorry, but no that she is in a better place.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, June 8, 2007 9:04 AM CDT

First of all, this is Sean. We started our trip on Wednesday running by Baylor to see Muffin, and say our good-byes. Then on to Bob's shop to tell him good-bye.

Then we were off to Wichita Falls for a visit at Midwestern where I had been going to school at the time of my crash. We later ate dinner with Brian Wible and his roommate Lance. I still to this day don't know Lance's last name. I had a good time with the two of them. We said aloha, see ya later, and then off to our hotel to go to bed.

Well we got to Borger Thursday about 5 after I had given my speech to the misguided youth at the home. It was in a gym with about 60 people in the Texas state department of health for teens with psychiatric and substance abuse problems, and about 15 staff members. I was surprised because some of the kids, I say kids when they were probably only 7-9 years my junior. Regardless, I was surprised because everyone not only listened to me, but I got through to all of them so they heard me. I really think I may have changed some lives that were headed down the wrong path.

On a lighter note, Mom showed the plan and visited with Andy's parents and their minister and his wife.. I kept Andy company while they were doing that. I can't tell what we talked about though- Boy talk.

We're headed over to Andy's grandparent's for breakfast. It sounds scrumptious! Belgian waffles with strawberries and whipped cream! Yummy yummy in my tummy! Well I better be going. Don't want to miss THE breakfast!

Borrowing Mom's lines:
Please keep us in your prayers as we tackle this long journey!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean Carter

Wednesday, June 6, 2007 8:26 AM CDT

I have spent the entire day, Tuesday, packing and loading the truck. We had intended on going to our Team meeting, but I still had so much to do that I talked Sean into letting us stay home so that I could finish up.

On Sunday, Sean and I drove up to Sherman with our Team Mate, Willie Seid, to visit Damon and Michelle Morris again. It has rained non-stop and there was a chance that Sean would wind up driving his wheelchair into mud, so I asked him if we could just walk into the house. We were both so excited. Sean walked with his hands on my shoulders from the street, all the way up their sidewalk, up 3 steps and into the house to the couch!!! When we left he walked back out to the truck. We didn’t even unload his wheelchair!!! That is so huge.

We both think that Sean is improving because of the luxury of having the NuStep right here at home which allows him to ride every day. As you can see, he rode 11,111 steps on Monday and Tuesday he rode 5,555 steps. (Sean has this thing about making all of the numbers be the same.) His trunk is getting stronger and his back is so much straighter as he walks. When we just stand together with his arms on my shoulders, he really doesn’t need much help from me to remain steady. He has made such a vast physical improvement since we went up to New York City.

Danny came down to visit Sean on Monday afternoon. He got here right before a huge thunderstorm blew through downtown Dallas. I had left him at home with Sean and run out to do a couple of errands and got caught inside of an Auto Zone. It started hailing, so I ran out to the truck so that I could get back home and get it into the parking garage. Luckily it was just pea sized hail so it doesn’t appear to have damaged the truck.

Annette Cooper, Andy’s grandmother, called on Sunday and told me that she would really like to pay for our hotel room when we stop in Borger to visit Andy and his folks on Thursday night. It is so kind of her and will help us a lot with the cost of our trip. I had not intended for her to do this, but these days, it is so helpful that I can’t turn down the offer. Each night Sean and I pray that the day will come that we are in a position to help others and to “pay back” all of those who have helped us since his crash.

Well, we need to get on the road. The truck is packed to the brim. I don’t know how we would have made our journey by air this time. We are going to be at Todd and Kori’s for 12-14 days, requiring us to take so much stuff with us. If possible, my plan is to update this more frequently while we are on our trip.

Please keep us in your prayers as we tackle this long journey!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean’s MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, June 3, 2007 9:51 AM CDT

Gaylon Riddels came over Friday night to visit and to see our business plan. Maggie and Chris Bryant, our team members came over so that Chris could explain the “big picture” to Gaylon. Sean and I are so excited about the future our business will bring and of course we want to share that with others.

Today we drive up to Sherman with a senior team member, Willie Seid, to follow-through on an earlier visit that we made to Damon and Michelle Morris. This business truly is a “Team” effort, thus it has the name “Team”!

Saturday morning, Sean spelled to me, “I am so glad you decided to do this business with me. If you had decided not to I would have had to ‘throw in the towel.’” This business gives him such hope. I honestly do not know what our future would be if we had not pursued this dream of Sean’s. We had been praying for personal and financial wealth, not knowing where or how it would come to us. Then one day at church, it almost dropped into our lap. We believe that God put us on this new path. Sean’s world once again holds hope and promise, like it did before his crash.

I went to Bob's shop on Saturday to load Sean's manual chair into the truck. Although it takes up a lot of space, we feel that we better take it on the outside chance that his manual chair has problems. I really don't believe anything will. We have had this new chair for probably more than 6 months and w have had zero issues. It is so good to have a reliable chair after the earlier problems that we encountered.

Only three more days and Sean and I will be on our trip up to see Todd. I was thinking about our trip on Saturday morning. Many years ago, Danny and I had been recently divorced and I decided to take my 3 sons and drive up to Minot, North Dakota to see my family. My sister was still married to Erv, and they lived together with their three kids, Eryn, Tobin and Jennifer. My Dad and My Mom were still alive. I think Sean and Todd were about 3 and Ben had to be 5. We returned with Eryn, probably 13 at the time, who spent several weeks with us that summer.

I can remember crossing the border from Texas into Oklahoma and all the sudden it hit me….”How am I going to be able to make this incredibly long drive, myself?” That trip was about 2400 miles one way. I had to put that thought behind me and just keep driving.

Another trip we made up that way was ,many years later, when my sister, Aunt Meri-Jac, married her husband Jeff. Since they live just south of Fargo, North Dakota, our trip was shortened by 400 miles. That time, just Sean and Todd made the journey with me and they were able to help with the drive. In fact, Todd drove the entire way home and we made it in 14 hours. Sean and I just lounged and rode.

Now Sean and I are facing a 4,000 mile trip and I will again be the only driver. It is almost scary. The good thing is that Sean is now an adult, and with his Rolltalk, we will be able to have adult conversations. Very few parents and very few kids have the privilege (or torture as Sean might say) of spending so much time together. I speak solely for myself in saying that 99.9 percent of the time it is a privilege. Yes, there are times when it gets tiring. There are times when I wish I could again do something without having the responsibility of Sean’s care always being on my mind. But, really, given the circumstances of our lives, I would trade places with no one. Of course, I wish Sean could trade places with someone else so that he could once again be up walking and talking, living his own life, ignoring his MoM as kids are supposed to be doing. But, as Sean says, “that is water under the bridge”. So instead I wake up each morning and I “Thank God” that Sean is here on this earth to be beside me, and I go to bed each night and “Thank God” that I was able to care for him all day long.

So, we will leave for our journey of 4,000 miles to see Todd. The identical twins who started there life as one, inside of me, will once again be able to share their days. We will be able to enjoy the life that Todd has created with his beautiful wife, Kori and his little son, Joey. For 12 days we will not think of the journey home. We will just enjoy our time together.

This is how we live our days. Thankful that we still have them. Eager for the miles ahead.

Thank you for sharing and Thank you for caring,
Sean’s MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, May 30, 2007 2:26 PM CDT

The storms continued this morning. We have had an unbelievable amount of rain so far this year. I was listening to the news and they said that we had more rain in the first 5 months of this year than we had for the entire year of 2006.

Sean and I attended our Team business meeting yesterday evening in Irving. It was actually the first time that he has been out since last Friday, I think. He is actively riding his NuStep each day. We will both miss his opportunity for this exercise while we are gone on our journey, but he is making the most of his time on it now.

Yesterday I was able to take the truck to have the tires rotated and the oil changed. It was a little early for the oil change, but I wanted to make sure that it got done before we start out next week.

We are both so excited we can hardly wait. I talked to Todd this morning while he was on his way home from work. He calls faithfully everyday. Even though we talk each day, it will be so much better to sit and actually visit with him. Sean only hears my half of our conversations so he is looking forward in actually interacting with Todd.

Once we start our journey, I will probably try to update our journal each day so that you can follow our progress.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, May 27, 2007 1:15 PM CDT

What a rain soaked Memorial Day Weekend this has been. Saturday, I spent the day cleaning our kitchen, while Sean rode his NuStep.

For us, holiday weekends are just like every other weekend. We are usually doing the same things, together. I was reading an article in the Dallas Morning News this morning about a young man who just graduated from Naaman Forest High School. He had a car accident about 4 months ago and it sounds as though he is now a parapalegic. He is very bitter because kids have stopped calling. I can remember the days that Sean felt like that. Now he realizes that life goes on and chances are good that even if he were able bodied the same friends would not still be with him. Life goes on and it isn't all about him. Life just goes on.

Next weekend I will be in a flurry getting everything together that we will take on our trip. We are both so excited about our journey. Sean has been text messaging Andy Cooper in Borger, Texas, and I have talked to Lori, Andy's mom. We will stop there on our way to Colorado Springs. We are also going to see Juan Cardenas in Wichita Falls. Juan was the other passanger in the truck the night of the crash. Of course we will be seeing Brian Wible that night as well.

We can't wait to see little Joey again. Kori sends pictures to my phone and he is growing up so fast. I can always hear him chattering away in the background when we are talking on the phone.

Sean is staying active in our business. He really enjoys the thought that now he has some future goals and possibilities. He spells to me that now it is even more important that he start talking. He needs to be able to explain our business to others.

I am reminded of John Lennon's "Beautiful Boy" song again. "Life is what happens when you're making other plans". Isn't it a wonderful thing?

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, May 23, 2007 1:52 PM CDT

Sean and I went to UTD and pre-enrolled for Fall Semester. He is scheduled to take: Calculus I, Principles of Marketing and Organizational Behaviour. This represents a total of 9 hours. Sean struggled with that many hours in the spring semester, but right now we are optimistic that he will be able to handle that many.

It is so hard to imagine that 2 weeks from today (Wednesday), Sean and I will start our journey to Pasco, Washington. We truly are so excited. I can't wait to see Todd, Kori and Joey again. Joey will be 3 on June 18. Milestones. It is so important to be able to share the milestones of youth.

Sean and I cannot let our fears of the future, of driving so far, of the cost of the gas, of how he will travel, stop us. One thing that I have finally learned is that you can put off doing things because of your fears, or because the "time" is not right, or because the "funds" are not there, and you will stagnate.

A lot of people would say that a person with Sean's physical deficits would be too hard to take care of at home. How would I ever realize the power of his mind if I said I can't deal with his body? How would I accept that I was living my life and he was relegated to survival at the whim of others? Luckily, neither Sean nor I will have to face that. As long as there is breath in my body, I will care for my son.

I know that he will walk someday. It may not be with the fluidity of movement that he once had. He may have to concentrate on each step. It may be on a different timetable than the one we have, but I know that it will happen. I just feel that God has not allowed Sean to survive the crash without a plan for his future.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, May 20, 2007 8:53 PM CDT

We have been so amazingly busy since I wrote last. We have been to meetings, we hosted a meeting, and then it seems as though there was not a night that we were in bed before 1 a.m. In fact, it was usually closer to 2 a.m. when the lights finally went off.

Today we went up to meet with Damon and Michelle Morris. It always is so good to visit with Sean's friends from high school. Damon and Michelle have a nearly 4 year old son named Gage who is a real cutie. Of course, Sean would have been happy just visiting Gage. He loves little kids so much. He longs to have one of his own someday.

We barely made it back in time to get to church, but we did make it. This too has become a priority in our lives. In fact, it is the most important thing to us. With God's help, we believe that Sean's life will continue to get better.

Sean has been stepping away on his NuStep. There have been two different days that he has steadily stepped for two hours and more. One day he did 7777 steps. Yesterday he went for a marathon, 8000 steps! He is really reaching for his walking goal. People that are around him frequently are noticing that he is getting stronger and moving better. It is still extremely difficult, but even he feels as though he is progressing.

As the minister, Marvin Brock, has told us. You have to see it to believe it. In other words Sean has to picture himself as he wants to be. Hope and faith is what it will take and Sean demonstrates that every day.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, May 16, 2007 12:08 AM CDT

Our trip to Washington state will begin on June 6. We are going to make our way up to Wichita Falls on the first day. June 7, Sean is going to do his Thinkfirst Speech to a group of troubled adolescents at North Texas State Hospital in Vernon, Texas. He is so excited about sharing his story and hopefully changing some lives. I am extremely proud of him.

This morning he is on his NuStep and has ridden for an hour and fifteen minutes already, and taken 5331 steps and he is not finished yet! This piece of equipment has really worked to strenghten him. Now if he could just gain his vestibular balance, I think he would be able to take some steps with no help. I am happy to report that it is getting easier to transfer now.

Last Friday, Sean and I attended a family conference at Baylor Rehab. He has been officially discharged from "therapy land". It is now "official", life after crash has truly begun.

Sean's business is beginning to take off. It is so exciting. His business associates are all extremely positive people. They are all working toward the same goals and they work together with a true "Team" spirit. His dreams now include a trip to Peter Island, one of the British Virgin Islands in the Carribean Ocean. In fact, Sean and I are going to make our "Dream Boards" this week. One thing that we are both taking to heart. If you don't have a goal, you will definitley reach it. No goal, no things, no where, no dreams.

For the past two and a half years we dwelled in the nether world of "Therapy Land". We both thought that because of Sean's crash, our lives were over. Well, you know what? Because of our business, we both feel that our lives have now just begun. "Have fun. Make money. Make a Difference!"

Watch out world! Here Sean comes!!!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, May 13, 2007 10:12 AM CDT

Happy Mother's Day to all Mothers. I have thought a lot about all of the years of Mother's Days that I have had in the past.

I remember the first one with Ben. How can anyone ever describe the love that they have for their first born child? I never thought that I would love another the way I loved him. My sister once told me "Love never divides. It multiplies." Only when you have the next one(s) do you realize that is really true. Sometimes it takes a little while to have those feelings, though.

Sean and Todd know that it was tough for me with them at first. My pregnancy with them was very difficult. When Ben was 23 months old, I had to be hospitalized because I was in labor. Sean and Todd were only 20 months old gestationaly. Dr. Maggi thought I needed to stay on total bedrest so that they would "incubate" and grow inside of me rather than by artificial means in this world.

We celebrated Ben's second birthday in room 209 at Texoma Medical Center. I was able to go home for 24 hours over Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. I celebrated New Year's Eve there and then came the birth of my twins on January 11, 1983. Four weeks later we were back in the hospital because Sean had developed projectile vomiting (hypertrophic pyeloric stenosis). He was admitted to the hospital on a Saturday, on Monday he had his surgery. On Thursday he developed pneumonia. The next day Todd was diagnosed with pneumonia. Exactly one week from the day after Sean developed it, Todd started the projectile vomitting. He had surgery on Monday.

I was not really "in love" with my beautiful new boys at that time. I was just "worn out". Before long, however, that love exploded and then I could truly feel that love times three! That love has never changed, however it has now expanded to include my love for my grandson Joey and my daughter-in-law, Kori and it even ripples out to include Cheryl and her beautiful kids, Shaya and Calem.

I can remember once feeling as though the candle of my soul was flickering under the bushel basket of responsibilities of motherhood.

For the past two and a half years, my love has been consumed by my feelings for Sean. I can honestly say that it is the most worthwhile investment I have ever made. There are times that I still get frustrated and wonder if I can continue on. And then I look at Sean, or talk to Ben or Todd, and I know that every moment has been worth it.

So today, instead of me receiving wishes for a "Happy Mothers Day", my heart cries out "Happy MOTHER"S Day"!!!!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, May 9, 2007 9:25 AM CDT

This week is National Nurses Week. I sit here this morning thinking about all of the caregivers that Sean has had since his crash on Easter 2005. How will we ever be able to thank them all?

Today we will have the opportunity to thank the nurses in the Trauma Department at Parkland Hospital. Sean and I have been invited to participate in their nurses luncheon celebration. We will try to express the profound gratitude that we have for each of them.

There are so many litle things that I can remember about Sean's hospitalization there. I can remember that every time I would go into the ICU and bend over to kiss Sean, he always had the sweetest breath. Someone obviously took the time to make sure that it would be so. I can remember that even though Sean was deep in coma, the staff would always tell him exactly what they were going to do before they did it. I can remember the staff explaining to me the true magnitude of Sean's brain injury. I can also remember that never, not ever, did they give me reason to believe that Sean would not survive. Never, ever, did they give me reason to believe that he would not awaken. Everyone, from physician's to nurses to administrative staff would just tell me that they did not have the "answer".

In life, no one ever gets "the answer". We just have to operate on faith that no matter what is going on, our God does know. He may not always reveal his reasons. We have to believe that as much as he can intervene, he will. For those people whose children do not wake up, it may be that his answer is that the damage was too great. It may be that he needs them with him. I certainly don't have the answer for that.

My sister said it so well with the very first entry in this journal, "While some people think his angel was sleeping on the job, we prefer to believe that his angel has been working overtime to help him survive the crash, keep him alive and allow his body to begin restoring itself. Of course we know that God's hand is on Sean and his entire medical team and that the why's of all of this are not for us to know at this time."

To all of you who read this who are caregivers. You are the "Angels" and we Thank YOU!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter Please see below
May 10, 2007

I just got word that a dear friend and former coworker who lives in Houma, La. lost her beautiful little three year old son on May 4. Jackson Sadler had been born with a major heart defect. He had undergone at least two major surgeries that by all thoughts had healed the problem. He has done remarkably well and there was no indication that anything was wrong. He crawled up in his Grandmother's lap and then he was gone.

Please say a special prayer for Jackson, and his Mom, Raquel and Dad, Kyle and his big brother, Peyton.

Sunday, May 6, 2007 9:01 PM CDT

Wednesday Night's MADD Victim's Impact Panel was incredible. Sean used his "Thinkfirst" and actually did his entire presentation. I was a little concerned that people would not be able to hear it, but afterwards we had people come up and thank Sean for sharing his story. One gentleman even came up and told us that it definitely would make him think now before he got behind the wheel after he had been drinking.

The Nurse Manager of Parkland's Trauma Unit was there again and she invited Sean and I to Parkland this Wednesday. This week is Nurses Week and they are going to have a big luncheon for the Trauma Nurses on Wednesday and she wants Sean to be able to come up there. Prior to the VIP, I was out in the hallway talking to another Parkland nurse. Sean had already gone into the courtroom. She and I were talking and when I told her that my son was here to speak and he had been cared for at Parkland, and I said his name she immediately knew who he was. She said that she can still remember which ICU he was in and that he had pictures all of his wall. We are so looking forward to thanking all of them for the care that they provided.

We have had an extremely busy weekend, attending Ryan Miller and Misty Johnson's wedding on Friday. Saturday morning, Bob, Ben, Sean and I drove to Los Colinas to walk in MADD's Strides for Change. Sean really had a good time. He is still $45.00 short of his goal but has raised $705.00. He walked with Chase Ward, and Justin McKenzie of Denison who were victims of a drunk driver.

Saturday evening we had a TEAM meeting and did not get home until about 11 p.m. Then we had church this evening. I am so happy that we have nothing until tomorrow afternoon, when Sean goes to therapy. We need the morning to rest and recooperate.

Thank you all for continuing to chech in and thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, May 2, 2007 9:32 AM CDT

Church Sunday
Errands Monday
Team Business Meeting Tuesday

Those were the main events in our lives since I wrote last. Little things have happened. Sean has ridden his NuStep everyday. I can tell that his muscles are stronger, however, one day this week I was actually worrying about his progress. His body was a limp noodle and he hung on me so much each time I transferred him on Monday that I began to think something was wrong. Each time I asked him he would tell me it was because he was tired. It must be so, because he was fine on Tuesday.

Sean’s grades are now official. He achieved a 3.5 GPA for his first semester back at UTD. About halfway through the semester he dropped his Forensic Anthropology class because the stress of three classes and therapy were too much for him. Once he dropped that class he was able to really focus on his other two classes. He achieved an A in Entrepreneurship and a B in his MIS class. Even folks without brain injuries could be proud of those grades.

This evening, Sean and I are going to speak at a MADD Victims Impact Panel. He is looking forward to that opportunity. He has worked hard on his speech and has buttons programmed in his Rolltalk that actually speaks his thoughts. He has practiced with several of our friends and they have all been moved, so I think it will be a very powerful presentation. All of the people who attend the meetings have been court ordered to do so because of a DUI conviction. They are not bad people, however, they made a choice to get behind the wheel while drinking. Although Sean was not driving at the time of his crash, we will never know how much of a role alcohol played. If the time that we volunteer to bring his message helps make even one person stop and think about the consequences of their actions, it will be time well spent.

We all need to realize that our lives are the consequences of our actions. Sean lives every day with the consequences of the actions that set him upon this path more than two years ago. He has also chosen to take responsibility for his life now and focus on the positive things. He is now in business for himself and seeking to make a positive impact on the lives of others.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean’s MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, April 29, 2007 12:59 AM CDT

I have been considering and pondering and thinking a lot about our journal. I hope that you understand this, but I have decided to just update twice a week. I am going to write on Sundays and Wednesdays.

Our life with Sean’s traumatic brain injury has now moved beyond the drama and has begun to be just our lives. Writing about it on a daily basis makes me feel as though we are on one of those Reality MTV Shows, and I have to reach deep to look at our day to find something that is eventful enough to share. Sometimes when I am writing it seems so trite.

I am not at the point that I want to stop writing completely because I do feel that there are people who are in touch with us only through this journal and you are important too us and to Sean’s increasing ability to rejoin life. Knowing the days that the journal will be updated, will allow all of us to take a breath and step back and Sean will continue to progress. We will still have this wonderful tool, The Caringbridge, to chronicle the important victories that Sean makes.

Saturday was a day full of family. We enjoyed ourselves so much. Sean and I drove up to Sherman and met his Dad, Danny, as well as his Nanny and PaPaw and their friend Amy, for lunch. I want to make the drive up there now and again so that the burden of driving is not always on PaPaw to make the trek to Dallas to see their Grandson. Sean is so mobile now and he enjoys the opportunity to get out of our home.

After our visit over lunch, Sean and I drove on to Whitesboro to Ron and Lois Richardson’s. The door of their home has always been open to Sean and his big bulky wheelchair, so he is always comfortable there. All of their family is like our family and we often spent the holidays together even after I moved to Dallas. Their granddaughter, Jessica and her husband Justin Boren, graduated from high school with Sean and Justin has remained particularly close to Sean and his twin brother Todd.

Jessica and Justin have a beautiful 5 year old daughter, Haylee, and the three of them came over to Lois and Ron’s and spent the afternoon with us. Haylee entertained us with songs and her dancing. Justin, Jessica and Sean sat outside on the back porch and visited, laughing and talking and discussing old times. Justin and Jessica act and react to Sean just as they always have. In their eyes, he is not broken. He is still the guy that they have always known and their time together is relaxed and easy.

Lois and Ron are the same way with him. They make no efforts to hurry Sean’s communication, and they talk about all kinds of things, not just about the personal details of Sean’s life. They treat Sean like “family” and he feels exactly the same way with all of them.

Before we knew it, it was almost 8 o’clock, so Sean and I loaded up and headed for home. Our trip took at least an extra half an hour because there was a major wreck on Hwy 75, within two miles of downtown and we literally sat still in the traffic with no way to exit off the highway.

Bob was home so we had a little time to visit with him and then he went on to bed. Sean wanted to check his e-mail and relax a little before heading to bed. I think I ended up getting him into bed sometime after midnight.

Just a reminder, I will write again on Wednesday.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean’s MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, April 27, 2007 0:07 AM CDT

Sean and I drove out to Colleyville for Hippotherapy today. Our friends, Chrissy and Sandra rode with us. His therapy was at 1 and since it was such a beautiful day we took a picnic lunch out there. We got there in plenty of time to enjoy sandwiches and fruit, while soaking up a beautiful North Texas Spring Day. The sun was so bright that the back of Sean's neck got a little sunburned.

Since this was Sean's first time back since mid-December he had to have an evaluation, so he spent his hour with Lisa Stajduhar in her therapy room. She was so pleased to see the progress he has made. She told us that she had been worried that he might be all stiffened up, but he actually has better range of motion than she expected.

When we finished there, we drove over to Quixtar's distribution center to pick up some more XS Energy drinks. Everyone that tries them really likes them and then want to buy them, so we thought we would stock up and carry them in the truck so that we will have them.

By the time we got back home, Sean was tired out so I laid him down for a nap. When he got up, I got him ready and we went over to Chrissy's for dinner and to watch "Pursuit of Happyness". It is such a good movie, showing one man's journey to overcome horrible odds and move on to become a millionaire. It is truly inspiring.

We are now home and since Sean didn't get a chance to get on his NuStep he wanted to get on it before he went to bed. So here we sit at midnight and he is stepping and I am typing. Whoops he's done, and so am I!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, April 25, 2007 9:12 PM CDT

We are watching the Mavs play Golden State this evening. I hope this game goes our way, but it isn't looking real promising right now.

Sean rode his NuStep for speed today. He rode at 3, for 45 minutes, did 2300 steps at an average of 50 steps per minute. So for the past 7 days he has taken 12,734 steps.

We didn't run around at all today, but tomorrow Sean starts Hippotherapy again, 1 day a week. He is really looking forward to it and I am looking forward to seeing if Lisa Stajduhar sees improvement in him.

Sean has reset his MADD Strides for Change Goal to $750.00. He now has raised $580.00 but he needs some more. Please consider contributing to MADD.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, April 25, 2007 0:31 AM CDT

Sean and I attended our Tuesday night business meeting this evening an I have just gotten him into bed. I am not far behind but I don't like missing a day of journaling, so I am sitting here now. This won't be long.

I had decided to drive over to our distribution center in Arlington to pick up products that I had ordered for our personal use. Everything from toothpaste, to paper towels, to Xs energy drinks were on my shopping list.

Since this was my first time to drive over there, Chrissy went with me to show me the way. We dropped Sean off at BIR for his therapy and then drove to Arlington, loaded the truck and then came back and picked up Sean.

We were so lucky because on our drive up to Addison for our business meeting, we managed to dodge most of the raindrops and got Sean into the conference center dry. Afterwards would have been a totally different story but we waited until most everyone was gone and then drove the truck up onto the covered sidewalk and loaded. I was so thankful that I was able to do that because it was pouring down as we were loading up.

Sean is really enjoying all of his business Team Mates and really is spending time learning about the business.

Sean has raised his MADD Strides for Change Goal to $750.00. He has raised $580 so far and he just started campaigning for donations last Friday. I am certain he will reach his goal!

Well it is late so I will sign off,
Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, April 23, 2007 10:25 PM CDT

Sean didn't have to take his Entrepreneurship Final. His instructor had said that he sent an e-mail out on Saturday to let people know if it would help them to take the Final. Sean didn't get one of those e-mails and his participation in class has been good and so were the team scores that he had so we didn't go today.

This afternoon, Chrissy (our friend from church and business partner) came over and the three of us went to Northpark Mall. I had to exchange a pair of dress pants that I had bought for Sean. It is hard to buy slacks for him because it is just too difficult to try them on at the store. We had lunch at the Food Court and then stopped and had some gelato Italian ice cream at Pachuga. Sean loves it. He and I always share a small and when we fiished ours he helped Chrissy finish hers.

Thank you for sharing and Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, April 22, 2007 10:46 PM CDT

Sean has had a busy weekend. Friday night we attended a business meeting in Hurst. We had a couple of the gals from our Team, Chrissy and Bridgette, ride with us.

Saturday afternoon, Chrissy called and invited Sean to go to dinner and the show with her and Bridgette them. At the last minute I decided to go with them. We met Chrissy' family at Outback and had a great meal and shared a lot of laughter. Afterwards, we went to Northpark and saw "Vacancy". It was a horror show and it was so funny because at one point, Sean got scared and jumped and his drink went flying up in the air and landed on the floor. (Sorry AMC, for the mess we left behind). We went to the last show of the evening so it was aound 1 a.m. when we got in.

This evening we went to church and Bible Study and afterwards about 12 of us went out to eat. It is so nice to be members of a true church family.

I also cannot tell you how special Chrissy and Bridgette are becoming to us. They are so willing and eager to learn how to do everything that it takes to get Sean in and out of the truck and how to load his wheelchair. The three of them really enjoy each others company and I am very comfortable with Sean being with them.

It's really odd how God answers prayer, but there is more and more evidence of it in our lives. I often pray to have patience with Sean because there are times that I get so tired. I really beleve that God led us to our church, "The Way" and that Bridgette and Chrissy are our "Angels" and will provide Sean and I with occasional breaks from each other, thus allowing me to recharge, thus giving me an opportunity to get my "patience" back.

Sean is ging to walk with Team Faith, Chase Ward's team, in the Mothers Against Drunk Drivers, Strides for Change Walk. If you are interested in contributing to Sean's personal goal of earning $500 in donations, please click on the link below.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Saturday, April 21, 2007 12:22 AM CDT

Sean and I attended a business meeting at one of our Team Members homes last night. Everyone laughs and jokes about "living on IBO time" and that is exactly what it is. We have got to adjust our sleep habits. We finally got in bed about 2 a.m. Unfortunately, Sean decided he needed to get up at 8, so we didn't have a great deal of sleep.

He has been on his NuStep for over an hour this morning and is still going at it. Once he is finished I will shower him and then I will get ready for the day.

Kevin and Ben are out looking at apartments this morning. Now that Kevin has got his permanent store in Arlington, his drive from far north Dallas is just too far to commute every day. He is looking to move in the downtown Dallas area. That would save him from the Tolls he currently has to pay and reduce his mileage and commute time considerably.

I don't know what our weekend holds right now. Sean may go to the show this evening with some of his Team Mates. They will take our truck and maybe Bob and I could have some alone time.

We hope that all of you have a wonderful weekend.

I wanted to share with you that the young man, Sean Isaac Fryar, missing in Denison, Texas, was found dead. Please lift his family up in your prayers.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, April 19, 2007 7:06 PM CDT

Thank you for your efforts in nominating me as Mother of The Year. I don't think I am in anyway worthy. All I do is love my children, just as all of you do.

Sean and I drove Ben to a brief meeting in Sherman this morning. We really had to mke a quick trip, but since we were downtown Sean and I ran into the Courthouse. He couldn't stand to be that close and not run by. As he explained to me, "I worked there for almost a year, and I just want to say "Hello!" Once we loaded up, we ran up to Chapin Title, where he also worked, and stayed in the truck while some of the employees ran out to say hi to him.

We wished we would have had time to drive on up to Nanny and PaPaw's in Denison, but Ben had to get back to work so we had to head back.

We hope that all of you enjoyed this wonderful weather we had today. We certainly did.

Thank you for sharing and Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, April 18, 2007 9:30 PM CDT

I didn't write about this yesterday, but Sean used his NuStep for an hour and a half and went 3350 steps at a resistance of 3. Today he went for 30 minutes at resistance of 10 for 900 steps! He really seems to be standing steadier with me. I don't feel like I am having to support his weight as much.

We are also very excited because he is going to start Hippotherapy again, every Thursday at Stajduhar Stables. He will begin that next Thursday.

Sean had his M.I.S. final today and he felt like he did well on this exam. He has one more test next week and then we are done making that trip up to UTD until the fall. He is really excited because he now feels like he can work on his business.

Jackie Webb e-mailed me some pictures of the property that she and her husband Kent have purchased. The land is located just outside of Ft. Gibson, Oklahoma and is absolutely breath taking.

Well, it is time for me to watch the Mavs. Todd, Kori and Joey are there in Seattle watching it. Maybe if we get lucky, the cameras will pan them in the audience.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, April 17, 2007 9:29 PM CDT

Sean Isaac Fryar, of Denison, Texas, went missing in the wee hours of Sunday morning. From what the newspaper said, he may have been despondant over the death of his father a few years ago and then a close friend of his was killed in a car crash recently. He is 17 years old. As Shirley Case has requested, please pray for him to be found alive and well, and pray for his mother, Linda Fryar.

I had heard the tail end of this story on the news this evening and although I don't know him, my heart fell when I heard his name is "Sean" spelled as our Sean's name is spelled.

Sean and I ended up staying home today. He is studying hard for his M.I.S. final tomorrow. We were planning on attending a business meeting this evening, but when I saw a line of "red" in the storms on the doppler radar and I decided I did not want to get Sean out in it.

He is working on his ThinkFirst speech and I am going to watch the Mavs game. Wednesday night when the Mavs play Seattle, look close, you might see Todd, Kori and Joey. They will be there!

Thank you for sharing and Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, April 16, 2007 7:33 PM CDT

Sean and his Entrepreneurship Team Mates had a presentation for class today. The objective was to make a pitch to potential investors by presenting a business plan. They all arrived an hour and a half early to review and discuss. Everyone decided that Sean's presentation was best, because he created buttons with the text and just went right through them. This allowed him to be straight forward in his presentation and he didn't really have to remember it the way the others did. Occasionally there is an advantage to using RollTalk instead of talking!

I forgot to explain that Sean has no dress shoes since his crash. He borrowed a pair of Ben's and it was so funny because they looked like they were about 4 inches longer than his feet. After class this afternoon he wanted to find a pair to wear to his business meetings. We went to Shoe Pavillion and after trying to get several pair of dress shoes on, Sean finally agreed that he would look at black tennis shoes. We looked all over SP but they don't really carry extra wide which he needs with his AFO's. So we loaded up and headed home.

I remembered that there was a New Balance Store on the way home, so we stopped to see if there was anything in there that would work. New Balance seem to fit people who do have to wear AFO's better because they have a bigger toebox. Sean was so tired that he didn't want to get out of the truck so I went into check on the stock. The salesman that was helping me was so nice, he went out to the truck to measure Sean's foot.

We ended up bringing two black pair home but decided that they just didn't look that good. I finally convinced him that if he was dressed up, people would not be looking at this feet and if they did, they would realize that since he is in his chair, he probably wouldn't want ole' hard dress shoes anyway.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, April 15, 2007 2:42 PM CDT

This has proved to be a very busy weekend for us. Sean and I started out going different directions Saturday morning. I had to stop by the Post Office and get a Mavericks ballcap sent off to Todd. He is taking Kori and Joey to the Mavs/Seattle game in Seattle on Wednesday. Of course my Texas born son, had to have a Mavs hat. We had sent him a Western Conference Shirt last year and he is going to wear that to the game, but we figured he could get a lot of wear out of a cap since we are going to play on through and win te championship this year!

After I did my Post Office stop, I met 4 of my girlfriends for the Dallas County Medical Society's Around the Lake Home Tour. Although it was cold, the houses were beautiful and we all really enjoyed ourselves seeing what the homes were like. I would often walk past them when I was doing my Marathon Training in 2003 and 2004, so it was great fun to see inside.

Ben took Sean to the Deal or No Deal Casting, but they did not get out because they had everyone lined up in the grassy area around the business and there was no way Sean could get over all of the curbs in their way. Sean was so disappointed. Since they were so close to Arlington, they drove over to Kevin's Sherwin Williams Store and went in for a short visit. Kevin had come over on Friday and told me that he was wearing out from his commute. He is having to drive about 2 and a half hours a day. In addition to the gas expense he is spending $6.00 a day on tolls, and as Jackie said, he is working 13 days straight, so he is wondering what he has gotten himself into.

Yesterday afternoon I barely made it home in time to have Sean change into a dressy shirt and then we were on our way to Arlington to a business meeting. We are now official members of the "Team" and are able to sell energy drinks, health and nutrition products, in addition to nearly 2 million other items. Sean is so excited. I am so happy because all of the people that we met are so very nice. I think this will do worlds of good for Sean. It will give him an opportunity to have a life outside of his very narrow world of therapy and school (which will be over in three weeks).

Well, the Mavs are playing now, so I am going to close. Since we have church this evening, I won't write again until Monday evening.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, April 13, 2007 8:19 PM CDT

Sean and I went to Northpark today so that I could buy him a pair of slacks, a dress shirt and a tie. We still have to get a pair of dress shoes that will fit him. He is going to a business meeting tomorrow evening and needed some clothes. He also has a part in a presentation in his Entrepreneurship Class on Monday.

We got home before the storms came through. I was so glad, because there was hail all over the metroplex, in fact it hailed here for just a few minutes.

Brian Wible, Kevin Krier and Justin Boren are all here now. They had wanted to take Sean to dinner, but it is still raining here and it is just too hard to get Sean in and out of the truck and not have him and his chair just soaked.

They are all sitting here talking about funny times at S&S High School. It is so good to have our home filled with young men's laughter.

Ben is going to take Sean to the Deal or No Deal Casting in Grand Prairie tomorrow. I am going to go on the "Around the Lake Home Tour" with three of my ole walking friends and then will have to come home to get ready to take Sean to his meeting in Arlington.

We hope all of you have a wonderful weekend,
Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, April 12, 2007 9:40 PM CDT

Today was our "downtime" day. We didn't have any appointments, however, our morning was consumed preparing Sean's presentation for Think First. This is the organization that goes out to high schools before Prom to try to encourage kids to make choices that will keep them safe. There is no cure for traumatic brain injuries or for spinal cord injuries. Therefore prevention is critical. Sean is going to be a "VIP" or Voice for Injury Prevention for Think First.

I am glad that we worked together on the presentation because Sean learned a lot more about the early days of his injury. The days that he will never remember. The days when we had no idea if he would ever return to us.

Sean also got to take a nap. He had spent a great deal of last night awake. In fact he woke me up at 5 and wanted me to get him up in his chair because he had somethings on his mind that he wanted to write down in his RollTalk. I wasn't ready to be awake, so I had him raise the head of his bed up and I put his RollTalk in his lap. I then went back to bed for another hour.

Sean had a meeting at our home this evening with three of our church members to discuss a business that he is thinking about becoming involved in. It was nice to watch him involved in a "normal" conversation. It is interesting to watch our lives evolve. Now there are many people who have no idea what Sean was like prior to March 27, 2005. They do not treat him as a person with limitations. They just treat him as a regular guy who happens to use a computer to talk for him!

They recognize his unique sense of humor and his intelligence and like him "just the way he is"!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, April 11, 2007 9:12 PM CDT

Another busy day. I am looking forward to tomorrow. We went to college this morning, got home just before 2, ate lunch, Sean had a short nap, and then we drove back up to UTD for an Entrepreneurship Club Meeting at 5:30. We walked back in the door this evening just before 8 and still had to eat dinner.

Sean is now on his NuStep. His new NuStep is being delivered tomorrow. We are so happy. Something has happaned to the display of this one so we haven't been able to count his steps or his time. He uses his watch with the chronograph on it so that we know how long he has ridden. I am very impressed with NuStep's customer service and their belief in their product.

Sean has been wracking his brain trying to come up with a way to earn money. Several of our church members are involved in a program that Sean thinks may work for him. I am vacilating because there is huge time commitment and I already feel as though that is the one commodity I do not have enough on because of all of the care that Sean requires and the amount of time I spend taking him places now. One reason I may be feeling like this could just be that this has been an exhausting week. Tomorrow we just have to wait for the NuStep, in addition to Sean's shower and me trying to straighten up around here.

Sean is having a meeting with some of the church members here tomorrow evening so I have just got to try to get some of our clutter picked up.

His EC meeting tonight was really good. A 19 year old guy named Ben Casnocha, already a self made millionaire, entrepreneur, and author, spoke to the group this evening. He started his first business when he was 12 and his second business when he was 16. He was a very dynamic, but but very grounded young man. He made quite an impression on Sean.

I know that there is something out there for Sean (and I) to do. We just have to make up our mind about what it is that we want and can do!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, April 10, 2007 10:54 PM CDT

It is late so this will be short. Sean and I attended a "Team" meeting tonight. Sean is interested in getting into a business and there are several members of our church involved in this one. We went to an introductory meeting this evening in Addison and just got home.

Tomorrow afternoon I am going to take Sean to a meeting of the Entrepreneurship Club at UTD. No wonder I never get anything done at home. It is always blow and go. When I am at home I am tending to Sean.

I keep wondering where my life has gone. And then I look up and see the smile on my son's face, and I know exactly where it is going.

The apartments a mess. The beds aren't made. My wrists and back are killing me from lifting the tailgate and walking my son, but he is smiling! And he is clean, and happy, and he is getting out and doing things every day. So, just what is important? I guess I know that answer.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, April 9, 2007 10:20 PM CDT

Sean's cousin and my nephew, Tobin, was in town overnight tonight on business so we met him for dinner. Bob, Sean and I met Ben and Tobin at Salt Grass Steakhouse. We had a very enjoyable dinner.

Now our excitement about seeing the babies again in June, has increased. Mia and Max, and the birthday girl Ava, and all of my sisters family will be together to celebrate Ava's first. We haven't seen any of them since September of this past year.

Sean is just counting down the days until semester's end. He told me today that he wanted to start Hippotherapy again so I will call this week to see if we can get him back into the program. He thinks that using the NuStep and riding now will really help him with his walking goal.

I have been thinking a lot about our life today. Our circle of aquaintances in Dallas is really growing. Everyone here only knows Sean since his crash. They do not know the person he was before. I often have people tell me that he is so inspiring. He is so happy, in spite of everything. His happiness is shared so freely with everyone. Right now it is all that he can give. It is enough.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, April 8, 2007 8:18 PM CDT

Bob and Ben are finally here. Sean and I had our Easter dinner this afternoon. Bob and Ben are just now having theirs. Bob had gone to the shooting range with a friend this afternoon.

Sean and I went to The Easter Vigil at our church last night from 7 until after midnight. We relived the story of Jesus through the Resurrection. Since ours is an experiential worship service, we participated in many different events. Each time, Sean was right there, always telling me that he “would do it himself”. He cast a stone into the baptistery. He lit a candle and held it. He washed his hands. He helped adorn the cross with flowers. He served water. If it was something that he needed help with, someone would step in and help him. It was a very moving experience, as was our Easter service this evening.

We didn’t get the lights turned off last night until 2 a.m. Sean slept until after nine, but I was up by 8 and have been going ever since. I have yet to read my Friday, Saturday or Sunday paper. Hopefully by Wednesday I may get to read the parts of the Sunday paper that I enjoy.

Sean has his midterm in his MIS class on April 14, and then he will be through with that one for the semester. He is so excited! The semester officially ends April 30.

Easter holds a special meaning to Sean and I because it was the night of Easter two years ago of the car crash that changed forever the life of two victims. One of course was Sean and you know how his story is going. The other was the life of the driver who is now serving a ten year probation and will live forever with a 3rd degree felony on his record.

Consequences, that is what life is all about.

Thank you for sharing and Thank you for caring,
Sean’s MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, April 6, 2007 8:27 PM CDT

DARS, the Disabiiity and Rehabilitative Services program for Texas, sent a gentleman out this morning to measure Sean for a standing frame. We still don't know f he has been approved for services, but this is more than has ever been done for him before. His Disabilities Services Advisor at UTD as going to write a letter describing his current standings in his classes as well as his possibilities for employment in the future. We also ran into a DARS case manager (not our own) at BIR one day and she was talking to Sean about a young man of another case orker who used a device like his who was in college now and planning on going to Law School. Imagine her laughter as she realized she was talking to that "young man"! I really think that she may be our "angel" who has started the ball rolling for him with her department.

Sean has been workng on Entrepreneurship Homework all afternoon. He took a break and got on his NuStep and rode for an hour and fifteen minutes nonstop!!!! We were both so excited!!!

He told me when he finished and got his Rolltalk back on his lap that he was certain that when he started walking again and swinging his arms as we walked he just knew that he would be able to use his hands again. If he ends up with a standing frame and uses that in addition to his NuStep, there is just no telling how well he will be doing a year from now.

Our application to Mountain High Camp in Red River, NM, came today. Positions are filled on a first come first served basis in post mark date order. I completed the apps for Sean and myself and Bob took the envelope to the big Regional Postal Center off of I30 this evening so that it would be postmarked with today's date.

I hope that you had an opportunity to catch the story about the "CaringBridge" on Brian Williams, NBC Nightly News tonight. We are so blessed to be a CaringBridge family.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, April 5, 2007 8:39 PM CDT

Sean is riding his NuStep and I have just sat down to share our day with you. It was another busy day with nothing getting done, but we did take care of one important thing for Sean.

Because of Sean's brain injury he has extreme spasticity, which I talk about often regarding his stiff right leg and his Baclofen Pump. Well, his toes also have it and the center toes of each foot, not the Big Toe and not the Little Toe, curl under and he was developing a pressure sore on one.

He had Botox injections hoping to relax them, but they have been curled down so long, they still will not stretch out. We finally talked to the orthotist this morning, who told us to be there at 10:30. Since it was already 8:30 and Sean was laying in bed watching the Today Show and I needed to give him a bath, and then get myself cleaned up we had to really get moving. We completed his shower and all of his personal hygiene in record time. I had exactly 20 minutes to get myself ready and we had to get out the door.

I was so happy because we actually rolled into the office at 10:30. Well, we were at the wrong office. They have an office in Dallas that we have always gone to and then one in Plano. I did not even think that Greg would be at the other office. The receptionist called the Plano office and they were very accomodating and said to just drive on over, so that is what we did.

Greg made a couple of modifications to Sean's AFO's (ankle and foot orthotics) including a strap across the toes to try to hold them down. He did tell me that there is really very little that you can do to hold those toes down. If this does not work we will have to think about having a tendon release done. I don't want to have Sean resort to that because it will set his rehab back while he heals.

Sean was supposed to be at Therapy for an OT visit at 1, but by the time we left Synergy, he would not have had time for lunch and he had Speech Therapy scheduled for 2, so we canceled OT, went to lunch and then drove on to BIR.

When we got home this evening, Sean had two graduate Speech Therapy students come over to interview him for a case study they are doing.

And now it is finally time to wind down. Easter Weekend is fast upon us. Other than church, we really have no other plans. I will be glad to just sit home and stay warm. It is supposed to be cold this weekend.

Thank you for Caring and Thank you for Sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, April 4, 2007 9:34 PM CDT

Sean and I attended our first Victims Impact Panel for MADD at the Frank Crowley Courthouse in Dallas this evening. Our original thought was that we were going to watch this month and speak next month. However, one of the scheduled victims was unable to make it so we slipped right onto the agenda.

I did the talking. Sean just sat up front and "looked good" with that great big smile of his. I don't think I talked very long and I don't remember all that I said, but Sean said I "did good". Afterwards several of the people came up to us and thanked us for being there.

This was a group of 200 plus first time offenders. Hopefully, at least one person will remember tonight and next time they are in the position to drink and drive or in the position of getting in a vehicle with a driver who has been drinking they will make a different choice.

Everyone has to accept the consequences of their actions. Sean now has to live with the consequences of his actions, as do all of us who love him.

Thank you for sharing and Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, April 3, 2007 6:58 PM CDT

Another day of getting absolutely nothing done here at home. I don't know how the time passes so quickly. It takes at least an hour and a half to two hours to get Sean showered, which is why I usually do it every other day. Well, today was shower day. By the time I get myself showered as well, it is usually after 10:30.

Sean had a homework assignment that he has needed help with all day long. We also had to run to Therapy this afternoon. Sean will only have 1 more PT session next week, and then it will basically be his NuStep and our walking as we transfer.

I have felt all day that it did not matter what I was doing, Sean was needing something so I would have to stop and take care of it. I am really looking forward to our road trip in June. At least when we are in the truck together for our trip our home and it's need for clean won't be staring me in the face.

I am so happy to be in a position to care for my son, but it seems as though nothing else gets done. Sean is not demanding, but some days it seems tougher than others. If I get something accomplished, I breathe a little easier. Today was not one of those days.

Oh well, I am happy to be here with my Beautiful Boy and most of the time he is happy to be here with me!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, April 2, 2007 8:30 PM CDT

Sean and I are so excited!!! We decided this morning that we are going to drive up to Todd and Kori's. That way we don't have to worry about changing planes, or worry about how we are going to transport Sean's wheelchair once we got to Washington. Not only that, but my grand (great) of course great niece, Ava, is having her first birthday at home in Colorado Springs and my sister and all of her kids and their kids will be together and we will be able to be there as well!!! We are so excited!

Ava's birthday is June 9, a Saturday. Our plan is to drive through Wichita Falls and hopefully meet up with Brian Wible for lunch and then head on to Borger or there abouts to spend the night and hopefully meet up with Andy Cooper and his family. Andy and Sean were together at BIR and his mom and I spent a lot of time together while the boys were recovering from their injuries. From there we will head on up to Colorado Springs and spend a couple of nights there and then head on to Pasco, Wa. to see my grandson Joey!

We are going to take it easy and just ride as long as Sean can stand it at one time. I think it will be a great road trip. Since the two of us spend all of our time together anyway, we thought it would be fun to make this drive. Plus this will allow us to have both of Sean's chairs and all of the rest of his medical equipment which will make his trip much more enjoyable. We aren't going to let anything stress us.

I have always wanted to write a book like Charles Kurault (for those of you who are old enough) wrote, "Travels with Charlie". As a child, whenever we moved across country we never had time to stop we would just drive as quickly (and as early in the morning) as possible from Point A to Point B. Our Dad was in the Air Force and we moved all the way across the United States several times. This will give me a chance to take the road less traveled....

If anyone wants to take a month off and join us, let me know!!!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, April 1, 2007 8:51 PM CDT

Sean and I didn't even start watching the Mavs game this afternoon. We didn't want to miss church this evening, so we both took a nap for about an hour this afternoon.

Our Palm Sunday Service was very meaningful. Our Pastor, Jennie Churchman, leads an "experiential worship". In other words you actually participate in the service. We shared the Seder, the Passover supper of unleavened bread (a Matzo), fruits,(a mixture of walnuts and apples), herbs, and bitter herbs (horse radish) and an egg dipped in salt water. We sat at round tables of 8 people. Each of us washe our hands before sharing our "feast". We each wrote a note requesting forgiveness of a specific sin and also asked for a specific blessing. No one will read these notes, they will be burned next Saturday night.

At the end of the service Pastor Jennie had gone to the back of the room. I was so caught up in the entire service I didn't really see her, but from the back of the room rang out the sound of hammering and I could actually feel the nails going into Jesus hands and feet. I can not explain the way it felt, but it was extremely powerful.

Sean is now riding his NuStep at a resistance of "9"! That is just incredible. When I transferred him today he seems to be walking straighter and taller.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Saturday, March 31, 2007 10:29 PM CDT

I had my time alone today and Ben and Sean spent time together. Ben took Sean downtown to Ryan Miller's loft home. The three of them walked around downtown a little and had lunch at the Iron Cactus. Afterwards they went back to Ryan's and watched a movie together.

I had spent my early afternoon wandering around Preston Center, treated myself to lunch at La Madeline's and then went on and did soem grocery shopping.

Bob came home this afternoon. There had been too much rain at the deer lease and they decided it was too muddy to attempt to drive their trucks in and way to muddy to camp.

After Sean and Ben came in this evening and we had dinner, Sean got on his NuStep and rode it for 45 minutes!!!! We were so excited. He was so entirely sweaty that even though I had showered him this morning we decided that it was worth trying to get him and his unruly right leg into the bath tub. He thought that since he had spent 45 minutes bending it, we would be able to bend it down into the tub. He was right and although it didn't stay bent, I was able to get it washed before I had to sit it on the edge of the tub.

He really enjoyed his time with big brother and Ryan and really liked where Ryan lived because there were so many places he could just go to in his wheelchair. He told us that being downtown made him feel like he was in New York City. I don't know how it has happened but my little country boy has become a city Man!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, March 30, 2007 6:44 PM CDT

The repairman for NuStep came out this afternoon and wouldn't you know, the sound did not occur? He tried and tried to make it happen and it only clunked about 2 different times, nothing like it had been doing when Sean was riding it.

Once he left, Sean got on and rode, hard at a resistance level of 7. He rode without stopping for 16 minutes which is actually the best he had done. I could actually hear him deep breathing, which he has not done since his accident. The sweat was just pouring sweat. I really wish there was a way to get him and his right leg into the shower tonight because he really needs it, but with that "unbending" quality to it in the evening there is no way. It will just have to wait until morning. It would be so nice to have a home with a roll in shower and then it could be anytime. Oh well, that is bound to come into our life some day, some way!

I managed to get out lon enough to get all of the fluids on the truck changed. It needed it's 75,000 mile servicing. Sean was happy staying at home on the computer while I took care of it.

I finally made our reservations to go up to Todd and Kori's in Pasco, Washington. We will go in June for Joey's 3rd birthday. We are all so excited. It will be a year since they were all down here in April. We are so ready to see them again.

Well, TGIF is almost over. Sean and I will sit here this evening, thankful for being out of the rain and cheering our "Mavs" on.

Hope you all are staying safe and dry.

Thank you for sharing and Thank you for caring,
Sean'sMoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, March 29, 2007 8:58 PM CDT

Sean stayed home all day while I got out and got a few groceries and ran by the Cingular store. He had homework that took him about 5 hours to complete. I was able to leave for 2 and a half hours. It felt good to have just my responsibilities to care for, but I worried about him the entire time. I was so happy when I got home and he was in the same place still working on that homework. It is such a chore for him because his eyes have such a hard time focusing.

Bob will leave in the morning for his hunting lease. It is opening weekend of Turkey Season so he is meeting his buddies down there. He came in for dinner this evening and has gone out to get their groceries. He will leave early in the morning and return on Monday afternoon. Sean and I will have the whole long weekend alone together.

Ben may stay with Sean on Saturday if I can think of something to do.

The NuStep is supposed to be repaired tomorrow. Sean is a little discouraged right now because it is not working the way it should. I spoke with NuStep today and they assured me that it is probably a ver minor thing and the repair folks told me that they should be able to get to it tomorrow. I hope we do not have to go thru the weekend without it.

Thank you for Caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, March 28, 2007 8:15 PM CDT

Sean and I spent all day at UTD. He wanted to see if he could get his RollTalk connected to the Internet so we had to walk/roll across campus to the Help Desk Center. The Johnson building, where it is located is a multi level buidling with stair cases everywhere and no real easy way to tell where the elevators on. Sean and I rode up and down an elevator and tried to figure out how to get up to the third floor with no luck. I finally went up to the Help Desk office and asked for directions. One of the guys came and escorted me back to where I had left Sean and then he helped us find our way up where they were located. By the time we were finished and got home it was 4 p.m. and neither one of us had eaten anything all day except for a couple of Nutrigrain bars that we shared.

I had wanted to meet my girlfriends for a walk this evening, but since I had not been home at all today, I thought it would be better if I just stayed home to get a few things done. Sean's sheets needed to be washed, I needed to get dishes done that had accumulated in the sink, and other chores that I just can never seem to get done.

Some days I am so weary, but I am not unhappy! I spoke with the Area Coordinator for MADD and Sean and I will attend the Dallas County Victims Impact Panel next Wednesday night. We will then plan on doing our testimonials in May. We are both looking forward to beginning our volunteer career in public speaking.

Sean rode the NuStep this evening. It clunked and clunked for about 10 minutes and then the noise stopped and it was silent again. He rode quietly for about 5 minutes and then it started up again. The repair tech is supposed to be here either Thursday or Friday and hopefully he will have the parts needed for its repair. Sean felt like the tension was not really on, but he and I both felt that just moving his body was better than just sitting in his chair.

Thank you for Caring and Thank you for Sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, March 27, 2007 8:31 PM CDT Second Survivor Day

Sean has now "survived" for two years. This day should be a big event, or maybe it should pass like ours has. I don't think you can ever quit wishing that the one second in time had not happened. But it did. And as Sean always reminds me, "It is water under the bridge".

I have thought about all kinds of philosophical things that I could write about the past two years, but by the time I sat down to write, I no longer have those thoughts in my head. Besides, nothing would change. My beautiful boy is sitting here in our living room in his wheelchair watching the Mavs play. No matter how much I wish for the clock to reverse this will not change. This is our life and we choose to live happily in it.

Sean woke me up at 2:30 last night. Being groggy from waking up, (I had finally fallen asleep), I didn't really think about what day it was. Sean told me, "Just about this time two years ago I had my accident." I told him, "No, by this time your angels had already taken over and were working to keep you alive". I started crying because I had not arranged a big celebration. But Sean said, "MoM, I get my Botox in the morning. I don't need anything else!"

We had to be at BIR at 8 a.m. so that the medication could be ordered and mixed for Sean's injections. He had Botox in the muscles that control his toes, his right shoulder and his right hand. The Botox is given to paralyze the spastic muscles so that the opposing muscles can work. He is beginning to get the signs of a pressure sore on one of his toes on his right foot so it was really important to try to get those toe relaxed.

Sean had to make his tour through different departments at BIR to remind them that this was his "Survivor Day". He would raise his arm up high and smile that beautiful smile of his.

NuStep is sending a repairman out tomorrow or Thursday. In the meantime they said that Sean could ride it until then. The tech told me that there is really very little that will break on the machine and he would not do any damage riding it, if we could stand the noise. Since Sean got up so early for the Botox, and then we went back for three different therapy hour this afternoon he is pretty worn out and will wait until tomorrow to get back on.

There is one thing that I would like to add. I don't know if there are many of his personal friends who still read these pages. I would like to explain something about Sean's brain injury. One of the tragedy's and deficits from the injury is that Sean does not always have self control with his emotions. He will sometimes say things that are totally inappropriate and are not things that he would have said had he not had this injury. Sean does not have the self control that he used to have. This is directly caused by his TBI. He has damage to his frontal lobe that is the center for self control. He is very remorseful for any pain or embarrassment this may have caused. If you have been a victim of one of his attacks, please try to put yourself in his shoes for a moment and try to think how you would react if you could no longer be the person you once were.

So, yes, this is "Survivor Day"...for all of us who live with Sean in his world.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, March 26, 2007 6:31 PM CDT

Sean and I are anxiously waiting for Bob to get home this evening. Sean was riding his NuStep this afternoon and it started making a horrible noise. I got him off of it after only 20 minutes of riding. I can’t imagine what the noise is, but it is too late to call NuStep.

We are hoping that Bob will be able to take the covering off of it and maybe it is just a belt that has slipped off or something simple that he can fix this evening.

I didn’t write Sunday because I ended up having a pretty whirlwind day. Sean and I had gotten up early Sunday morning to meet my walking group for breakfast. We sat and laughed and talked over breakfast for a couple of hours. When we got back home, Sean had homework to do. He needed my help and I tried for more than 2 hours trying to figure out what needed to be done.

We had our Sunday dinner close to 3 p.m. and Sean was getting so very sleepy. Our church is at 5 on Sunday evenings, and when it got close to time for us to leave he decided that he couldn’t stay awake. I know that he got worn out trying to work on his homework. It is such a struggle for him to try to focus to read and then retain what he has read, that it literally taxes his brain.

I went on to church and then stayed for Bible Study, which I thoroughly enjoyed. One of the ladies at the church had made both Sean and I a set of Anglican Prayer beads. They are absolutely beautiful. In my youth, I can remember always thinking that Rosary Beads were so beautiful. Not being Catholic, I knew I would never have any. Well, I have been awakened to a new way of praying. Anglican’s now can pray with their beads. There are many prayers written specifically to use while praying with your beads.

Sunday night Sean and I prayed together. By the time we were finished we had repeated our prayers a total of 100 times. You pray on the cross, on the Invitatory Bead, on the cruciform beads and on the four sets of the 7 “week” beads. There are a total of 33 beads, one for each year of Jesus life. The repetitive prayers can almost be said like a chant and it can help to put you in a special place with God. I love it and our beads are beautiful! I will have to take a picture of them so that you can see what they look like. What a beautiful gift was shared with us Sunday night.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean’s MoM, Jenny Carter

Saturday, March 24, 2007 7:41 PM CDT

"I have set a new goal of walking by Mom's birthday, July 29. That's 4 months. 127 days! We're starting a count down for that day. 127 days, and I begin my new life!!! With standing upright it will stimulate my speech. Next year at this time I know I will be walking and talking again! No more "silent Sean," and no more "sitting Sean"!!!"...Sean

Sean wrote the words above after watching "The Secret" while working out on his NuStep. He rode twice today for a total 1 hour and 20 minutes and stepped 1,986 steps. Prior to this when Sean used the NuStep at BIR he rode it for 15 minute max at Endurance Level 5 and that was only one day a week. When Sean woke up this morning he told me he was taking a day off. But then he decided he would ride one time today. I got him on and he rode for 40 minutes and a total of 1111 steps at Level 5. He rode again this afternoon for another 40 minutes, and dd another 875 steps at Level 7. It is now nearly 8 p.m. and he wants to ride one more time this evening!

One of the premises in "The Secret" is that "You have to Believe to Achieve". Sean set his goal and I have mae a sign that we pinned up on the wall in front of his NuStep. Whenever he looks up he ees "I will WALK in 4 months. I will be walking by July 29, 2007, 127 days. I am going to change that sign each day with the count down to July 29 (my birthday).

Sean wants me to post his goal and his achievement each day so that "everyone will cheer him on." Please join me each day in encouraging him. We have all prayed for the miracle of walking and talking to return. Now Sean has it in his mind that it will happen!!!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, March 23, 2007 5:52 PM CDT

Sean had speech therapy this morning instead of this afternoon. While there his speech therapist told us that basically they were going to wean Sean off of therapy. I am sure that everyone is breathing easier now that Sean has the NuStep.

If Sean is able to get stronger (which I know is going to happen), then he can go back to BIR in a couple of months and be reevaluated to see if he is ready to try new therapy. He will have a few more visits and then we will be on our own here at home. We will both be sad, but it is time to move on with Sean’s new life.

We drove to BIR for therapy this morning and when I went to unload Sean, his seat would not turn out at all. I was able to turn him in the seat myself and then I held his gait belt and he slipped down in front of me onto his feet. He went on into therapy and I spent a few minutes trying to figure out if something was preventing the chair from moving. When I spotted a couple of “B B” looking things on the floor, I realized it was not going to be anything I could figure out.

I called Lift-Aid and they knew immediately what had happened. I was so pleased because they were willing to let us go in and have it fixed today.

When Sean finished therapy, I called BIR transportation and a couple of the guys came out to help me get Sean into the truck. We headed on over to Euless to Lift-Aid stopping to grab lunch that we took with us to eat while the truck seat was being repaired. We were only there long enough for Sean to have a tour of the “Monster Garage” that they have and eat our lunch and we were on our way back home.

I told Sean that we were the luckiest two people. The seat broke but Lift-Aid had the part in stock. Any other part and they probably would not have had it. It broke at BIR were there were people available to help me get him back in the truck. It broke in the truck and not swung out so that I was able to get the door shut and drive over to have it repaired.

You can look at life and recognize the things that have gone wrong with it. Sean and I choose instead to find the good things that occurred around the bad thing. That is how we deal with our lives. I can only imagine where either one of us would be if we chose otherwise. Sometimes you have to search for the good things in life, but believe me, they are there!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing!
Sean’s MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, March 22, 2007 9:22 PM CDT

Sean is already getting a little stronger. Except while he was in ICU and then in his early stage recovery at BIR, he has sat in his wheelchair. For 725 days now he has been nearly immobile. His muscles are so very, very weak. Using his NuStep will really help him but it is not going to be instantaneous. He is going to have to make great efforts to regain even the smallest amount of strength and endurance. But, he is working on it now.

The first time he got on it at home he was able to go 252 steps. He was only able to peddle for 5 minutes. That was two days ago. When he got on this morning he peddled a total of 16 minutes and went 675 steps! The great thing about the NuStep is that it keeps track of the number of steps he takes, but the time stops if he needs to sit for a moment and get his breath or allow his muscles to rest momentarily.

Kevin came over this evening and we got Sean on the NuStep for a third time today. He started complaining that his back was hurting. I think it is just because his whole body is now engaged and he has not had that for the past two years. That’s ok, no pain, no gain! I think Kevin likes to drop in because I usually always cook dinner and he enjoys getting a home cooked meal. I know he misses your cooking, Jackie, so he fills in occasionally with us.

Deanna, I do remember you. I don’t think we ever really had time to visit because I was out of the office frequently, traveling and then my son’s tragedy occurred. Thank you for signing in. I often wonder how all of you are. EmCare is really within walking distance. Maybe one day Sean and I will walk/roll up there and say “Hi”. You all did so much for me while I was out on leave.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean’s MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, March 21, 2007 6:59 PM CDT

It is always so uplifting to see the name of a new reader to our website. Dr. Byrne, thank you for signing the guestbook, and please if you are reading this now let everyone at EmCare know that I think of them often.

Whenever Sean and I walk home from BIR I look up and see the building that I used to work in. I can remember the feelings I had when I first started working there. There are more people working in that building than the total population of the Sadler/Southmayd communities where I raised my sons. I used to pinch myself and wonder what I was doing down here. Perhaps it was part of the "Grand Plan".

I used to love my job with EmCare. I was one of the "lucky" people who traveled weekly in my job, often flying in and out of a city to work with one of my employees for a day. I can remember sitting in the airport in New Orleans one day thinking about applying for another job and then I reminded myself how much I enjoyed the opportunity of sitting in a different seat each day instead of being stuck in a cubicle. Boy, my life has really changed. There are days that the only people I see are Sean and Bob when he comes in from work, and the farthest I go is to the mailbox.

The notes in our guestbook make me feel as though you have stopped in for a moment to say "hello". As Sean's second Survivor Anniversary are moving closer, your notes are becoming even more important. They represent our lifelines.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, March 20, 2007 5:05 PM CDT

Sean's NuStep was delivered and set up today. As you can see by the smile on his face he is ecstatic!

Sean has been using this piece of equipment at Baylor Rehab in Outpatient therapy but has been limited to just using it once a week for about 15 minutes.

We did a lot of studying about his long term chances of rehabilitation and perhaps walking and the Nustep seems like it will provide him with the best opportunity for improvement. Having one at home will allow Sean to get on it several times a day, every day of the week. His PT, Chad, is so excited that Sean will have one at home now.

Just when we thought we were at a dead end, we are blessed!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, March 19, 2007 6:45 PM CDT

Even though it is very windy, this is the time of year when meat on the grill tastes so good for dinner. That is what I am doing now, grilling over a contained charcoal and mesquite flame. Not only does the meat taste good, but there is one less pot to wash afterwards.

Today was a good day for Sean and I. I woke up headache free for the first time in 3 days. Sean's second class of the day was canceled. I left Sean in his Entrepreneurship class and ran to Target to get a few things. It is time for me to bow out of Sean's classes and let him make his way on his own. This won't be hard for this class because the Instructor treats Sean with respect and realizes that he is definitley "tuned in" to the class. Not only that, this is the class that Sean participates with a team and his teammates all look out for him. I still have to go with him to get him into class and then I meet him when it is over to escort him to the next class but it gives me a little space for myself.

I will probably walk the campus on days that I don't have errands to run. It is hard to believe the semester is more than half over.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, March 18, 2007 5:27 PM CDT

Kevin and Brian met Ben over here Saturday evening so that they could spend a little time visiting with Sean. They were going to go spend some time in the St. Patrick's Day Revelrie down on Greenville Avenue last night. I asked Sean if it bothered him to stay home while the guys all went out and he told me that he was "just fine" staying home with Bob and I.

My headache was much worse this morning, so I have not done much. Sean rode with me over to Farmers Market so that I could get some vegetables for dinner. I cooked a big meal and outside of that have pretty much sat on the couch all day.

Ben and Bob were at the shop working on Ben's Expedition this afternoon. Ben needed to realign it, so Bob got all of that done for him.

Sean and I ate lunch and enjoyed the Mavericks win over the Pistons. My head is hurting so bad that I just didn't have the energy to get us both out to church this evening. I feel so bad about that, and rarely does my world stop for a headache, but today has been one of those days.

Even though the skies have been cloudy today, the temperature has been really comfortable. We have had the windows opened wide all day. It is nice to be able to have the fresh air blowing through the apartment. Summer will come on fast and once again the winows will have to be closed and the air conditioning will be on. I feel that we have to take advantage of the spring like temperatures.

Tomorrow the whirlwind will start again.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Saturday, March 17, 2007 7:09 PM CDT

Friday found me walking, walking, walking. Sean had an appointment Friday morning with his ENT doctor, so we walked (Sean rolled) to the Landry Center, about 3 blocks beyond Baylor University Medical Center. We walked home, had lunch and then Sean had therapy at BIR, so we walked there. The weather was just a little cool, but perfect for getting me out to exercise.

This morning I woke up with a horrible headache. I got up early because Sean's Nanny,PaPaw, and Aunt Linda were coming by and I needed to straighten the living room. I also had to get Sean up early so that I could give him a bath before they got here.

We had a nice visit. They couldn't stay long because Nanny's sister is in failing health in a nursing home in Hillsboro and they were on their way down there.

Other than going to the grocery store, I have really not done a lot today. I had to lay Sean down this afternoon so that he could take a nap and then I fell asleep for a few minutes on the Love Seat.

This has been an extremely busy week and I am really, really tired. Tomorrow I am going to languish in bed at least until 8 o'clock.

The weather has been so beautiful here that it is hard to believe that the northeast was getting so much snow.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, March 15, 2007 8:38 PM CDT

Sean and I drove up to Preston Center today and wandered around. It was about lunch time and he noticed a Pei Wei Restaurant, one of his favorites, so of course we had to go in and eat.

While we were there, I was watching him with his trembling left arm, carefully moving his fork up to his mouth, and such a warm surge of pride came over me. Every day he continues to fill me up with pride and wonder. I wonder how he continues moving through each day as happy as he does. I wonder how he wakes up each day with that beautiful smile on his face. I wonder why this had to happen to him. I will probably carry that wonderment with me to my grave, but nothing will change the fact that the sun continues to rise and set each day. The birds sing and children laugh. That's what we are supposed to do...Move forward and enjoy life. And Sean does...and because he does...So do I!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, March 14, 2007 8:36 PM CDT

Today was the first time that I have really known that Sean's Brain Injury has affected his mind. It actually is a pretty funny story:

Sean was working on his homework for MIS that required formatting a chart. I usually sit and read the instructions to him and then he does the actual work on the spreadsheet or chart. He has difficulty focusing on a page and than moving his eyes back to the computer screen. He had to do something that said "expand the box 2 inches". I was watching him and I could not understand what he was doing. He moved it the tiniest bit. I repeated the instruction. He started getting frustrated with me and I kept telling him that he needed to explain why he was only moving it that little bit. I finally grabbed a ruler and showed him the inch marker.

We both started laughing because he really did not remember how long an inch was. He thought he was moving it an inch but it was really more like a millimeter! That was one of the first concrete examples to me that his memory is not quite the same. What a blessing though! It has been almost 2 years and that is the first time that I have honestly been able to identify a lapse in his cognition, and what a little thing it was...just an Inch!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, March 13, 2007 9:48 PM CDT

Today was not as rushed and busy as yesterday. Our day started with Sean's shower. He spent sometime on the computer and I made lunch for the two of us.

Sean had PT today that consisted of almost an hour on the treadmill. Afterwards he spent time with his neuropsychologist. He needed a checkup from the neckup. While he was having both of those appointments, I had an opportunity to spend an hour wandering through the shops at Mockingbird Station. Although I didn't buy anything, I enjoyed the opportunity to have some mindless wandering.

After his appointments he spent time visiting Dr. Carlile and Muffin, as well as Dr. Chock, and some of his old staff members from Day Neuro. Dr. Carlile told us that she is going to Austin (next week?) to work on a proposed piece of legislation to once again require motorcyclists to wear helmets or to have $150,000 insurance policy if they do not choose to wear the helmet. Sean and I would both like to help work on that project with her.

This evening Sean did his speech for the group of graduate, Speech Therapy students. I think he enjoyed being the center of attention of about 40 young women. By the time he finished his presentation, I think he had charmed most of them.

We hope that all of you got home safe this afternoon in spite of the heavy rains.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, March 12, 2007 8:52 PM CDT

Today was one of the days that has gotten totally away from me. Sean demanded my time nearly all day long. Between his preperation for school, going to school, sitting through classes, returning home after a quick trip through the grocery store, having lunch and then running to Baylor for a meeting with one of the speech therapists, our day was gone. I finally sat down about 6:30 and immediately fell asleep until Bob got in close to 7. Well, that was only 20 minutes.

I was then up again getting dinner ready for my two fellas. Bob went out and ran this evening. It was his first time since December. Now that the days are going to be a little longer because of the time change, I am sure that he will try to get out a few times a week.

Sean is going to give a presentation to a group of graduate speech therapy students tomorrow evening.
He is going to demonstrate his Rolltalk to them and explain how it helps him in his everyday life. I am so proud of how he has written his presentation.

Please take a moment and click on the link to the left of the Dallas Morning News Pulse Magazine at the bottom of the page.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, March 12, 2007 8:36 AM CDT

We arrived at our lodging for Monday and Tuesday nights. We had a beautiful two bedroom apartment on the 26th floor of Park Place. This location is between Madison and Park Avenue, on 55th St. not far from Central Park. The 3rd night we stayed in the Doubletree Suites overlooking Times Square.

Because of the weather, we really did not get to spend a lot of time exploring. I think we had about a day and a half that was tolerable, walking around weather. We walked down to Rockfeller Plaza, and then all the way down to Times Square. On our way back to Park Place Monday evening the cold weather was already coming in.

Sean loved being in the city. It surprised me but the crowds of people never seemed to bother him. He just kept moving forward and I think his attitude was “show no mercy”. Had anyone gotten in his way he would have run them over.

Other than the cab ride, we only had one real crisis. I was trying to walk Sean backwards into the shower. He was going to sit down on his shower chair when his feet slipped out from under him. He is now so “healthy” (heavy), that there was nothing I could do to break his fall. He landed hard on his butt on the ledge into the shower, and then kept on slipping until he was totally stretched out on the bathroom floor. I screamed for Sarah. She couldn’t imagine what was going on, but came running to help.

Because Sean cannot really keep his legs bent with feet on the floor, there was really no way he could maintain any leverage to help us out. Sarah was a trooper, and together we managed to pull him up onto the closed toilet seat and get his legs under him so that he could stand up. He quickly developed a huge bruise on his buttocks, and has been extremely uncomfortable ever since.

I cannot even tell you what a friend Sarah has been throughout this entire change in our lives since Sean’s accident. Words cannot even let her or anyone know how much our phone conversations throughout the past two years have sustained me. The fact that she would spend 4 solid days with Sean and I, night and day, was an indescribable pleasure for the two of us. He and I spend so much time alone, together, that her presence was a refreshing break.

As I read through the guestbook, and think over the past two years, I have to say, there truly are “Angels Among Us”. That was the reason, Lois, that I picked the Angels for our homepage right now.

To everyone:

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing!
Sean’s MoM, Jenny Carter

Saturday, March 10, 2007 6:18 PM CST

Special transportation arrangements had to be made to transport Sean in his wheelchair to and from LaGuardia. I called several services about two weeks ahead of time and finally found an “ambulette” service who could accommodate us. I had to send them a check for the fare for the round trip before they would agree to meet us at the airport.

When we arrived at LaGuardia, I was so happy because the driver was there when we landed. The van was a basic wheelchair van, like a Ford Econoline with a liftgate for Sean and his chair.

Since it was Sunday when we arrived, there was not as much traffic as a week day so the trip was not too bad. Returning to the airport on Wednesday was another story completely. It had snowed overnight, creating an additional hazard on the roads. I had called the van company around 9 that morning and told them that if there was anyway that they could get us to the airport early we did not mind. We had originally planned on leaving at 1:30, but since it was so cold we thought we would take our chances hanging out at the airport. I called several time throughout the morning hoping that we could leave sooner, but it was 2 p.m. before the van actually arrived.

The ride through Manhattan was so scary. Although Sean’s chair was tethered down, there was still a time that he and the chair flew up into the back of the driver’s seat and Sarah and I fell completely off of our seats onto the floor. I was doing everything that I could to hang onto Sean’s chair, but since he and his chair together weigh over 450 pounds, there was really nothing that I could do. When Sarah and I found ourselves on the floor, we both looked at each other and I know that both of us had eyes as big as saucers. I was scared to death. I didn’t look up much after that. I just held onto the back of Sean’s chair and prayed that we would make it safely.

I now can tell you. We are safe! We made it to the airport without too many other incidents.

Sarah was flying Continental and she was actually able to make an earlier plane. Sean and I were on American and our flight was delayed an hour and a half. Although it put us back to DFW later than we had anticipated, we arrived safely, so what else can you ask for?

Tomorrow I will have to tell you about our actual time in the city.

Thank you for Caring and Thank you for Sharing,
Sean’s MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, March 9, 2007 4:57 PM CST

Traveling on an airplane with a person confined to a wheelchair, as Sean is, turned out to be relatively easy. Everyone working for the airlines was helpful. The real difficulty that we have is during our wait at the airports. Since I have to accompany Sean to help him in the restroom, we need a “family” restroom. Newer airports, such as DFW, are equipped with this type of restroom. However, the older ones we have flown into or from, like Minneapolis, Albuquerque, and LaGuardia, do not have them.

Our flight was delayed leaving LaGuardia, and because of the distance and time of our flight, Sean of course needed an opportunity to use the restroom before we boarded our plane to come home. I asked gate agents and other airport employees as we walked through the airport trying to find a restroom to point us to an accessible restroom that both of us could get into. Everyone told us we would have to leave the secured area and go over to another “newer” wing of the terminal. Finally, as we were preparing to go out of security, I asked a TSA agent. She called a male janitor over and asked him to escort us to the male restroom.

Of course the restroom was extremely busy, but I managed to move into the handicapped stall without running into an unsuspecting male. Sean was able to relieve himself and the janitor came back and allowed us to leave with some modicum of dignity remaining. We will both be forever grateful for the two of them.

The only other real snafu we had was when we arrived back at DFW. Sean is allowed to remain in his wheelchair all the way down to the plane door. I get him positioned in his seat, remove the cushions from his chair and stow them onboard with us, and then I instruct cargo personnel how to maneuver the chair and lay it flat for stowage in the belly of the plane. We have only flow two other times, but both times, the chair is waiting for us when we leave. We are always the last ones off the plane so that we don’t interfere with anyone trying to make connections.

Arriving at DFW, Sean’s wheelchair was delivered out to the baggage area. The airlines had sent a wheelchair escort to help us out, who spoke no English. The flight attendants could not get him to understand that we had to have Sean’s chair delivered from baggage claim and returned to us at plane side. Finally the First Office, a tall assertive young woman, got the message across to him in no uncertain terms. So other than that delay, all went well with that portion of our trip.

The van ride to and from the airport was totally another story. I will share that one with you tomorrow.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, March 8, 2007 7:43 PM CST

We are home and all is well! We had a fun, really mostly uneventful trip to New York City. Both Sean and I so enjoyed the opportunity to spend time with Sarah. She and I have been friends for more than 30 years (I hate to admit that because neither one of us feels older than that 30 years!)

I want to share our adventures, but will keep this short tonight. I just wanted to let everyone know that we are home in Sunny Texas!

I was up at 4:15 this morning and then got Sean up at 5 so that we could be at the Baylor Surgery Center at 6 for his surgery. That was really rough because it was nearly midnight when we both got into bed last night.

Sean came through this procedure just fine. The doctor said that the obstruction in his throat looked as though it was congenital (from birth) and appears to just be cartilage. He said that removing it could cause scarring which could be worse for Sean so he just left it alone. He said that he did test both vocal cords and they are moving just fine.

Sean is so excited, though, because Dr. Oxford also did a scar revision on his trach scar. Sean hates that scar more than any other he has on his body, and he feels as though it marks him. Dr. Oxford removed the scar tissue and made a nice straight line on his neck. The hole that was the diameter of a pencil is now gone.

We had a couple of wild and scary van rides to and from LaGuardia. I will share more tomorrow.

Eryn, the business cards look great. We are so proud of the work you are doing sharing Sean's story. Sean and I want to thank you for the lives you are allowing his to touch.

We are also forever thankful to the Caringbridge for providing this vehicle for us to share our story with all of you.

Happy birthday to my beautiful daughter-in-law, Kori Carter!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing!
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, March 8, 2007 7:43 PM CST

Saturday, March 3, 2007 6:46 PM CST

Sean and I are off to New York City on Sunday morning. We are not taking a computer. There is going to be enough for me to keep up with just getting Sean, his chair and our bags off and on the airport. Sean has surgery on Thursday morning, so you are probably not going to see updates until Friday evening.

Ben is going to take us to the airport in the morning. Bob has gone to his deer lease this morning and will return Sunday evening.

Sarah called this afternoon and while she was on the phone, I checked the temperatures for the week. We were planning on going to Rockfeller Plaza on Tuesday morning, but the temps are supposed to be in the low teens so the Today Show will just have to go on without us.

We are still excited. It will be nice for Sean and I just to have a change of scenery and Sean will appreciate being with someone besides just MoM.

Thank you for caring and Thank for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, March 2, 2007 8:43 PM CST

Today has been such a busy day. Sean had non-stop appointments from 11:30 until after 3 this afternoon. When we were finished with everything we had to drive across town to Frye's to replace the power cord for his Rolltalk that he destroyed yesterday. With Friday afternoon traffic, we didn't get home until almost 5:30.

Tomorrow I will have to pack our suitcases and get some last minute stuff for our trip.

We are so excited!

Thank you for caring and thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, March 1, 2007 8:10 PM CST

I got away for a couple of hours this afternoon to do a few errands. While I was gone, Sean text messaged me to tell me that he had somehow pulled his Rolltalk power cord apart and it was sparking. Imagine my panic as I thought of him, home alone with a possible electrocution danger. I called Bob, who works just a few minutes away and he dashed home.

By the time he got there, Sean had managed to get the cord unplugged so everything was ok, but it sure did scare me. I was so happy when Bob called and said that everything was alright.

Tomorrow is going to be such a busy day for us. Sean has to have his Baclofen Pump refilled in the morning at BIR. Then we will have lunch at the Baylor cafeteria and return to BIR for Speech Therapy. From there we have to go to the ENT's office for a pre-op check.

We leave for NYC Sunday morning and return Wednesday evening. Sean will have the surgery to remove the scar tissue in his trachea the next day, Thursday. It will just be an outpatient surgical procedure, but we will have to be at the Surgery Center at 6 a.m. Next Friday will be our day of total rest and chillaxing after a great Spring Break.

Pray for the little town of Enterprise, Alabama, that was dessimated by a tornado this afternoon.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, February 28, 2007 9:08 PM CST

Sean has a test in his Entrepreneurship class that he will have to do in the morning. It was an open book test for his class, so his professor e-mailed it home so that he could do it here.

Our day was slow and lazy. We did go to UTD for class today, but came straight home after class and both of us wound up laying down and taking a nap.

It was one of those days that we both really needed the extra sleep. I have felt exhausted all week so my short nap this afternoon has helped me for today.

The Mavs did win and even Tobin had to admit that they are the better team this year. Heck, Sean and I think they are awesome!!!

Did any of you watch the Bob Woodruff speacial Tuesday night? He is a reporter who was in Iraq and was hit in his head and face by shrapnell. He suffered a traumatic brain injury. He did a special on soldiers returning from the war who are now trying to deal with their lives with this awful affliction. I found it interesting that Mr. Woodruff treated it as though this type of injury is new. It is new to war survivors because in previous wars we did not have the medical technology to keep these young people alive after receiving such devastating injuries. However, Mr. Woodruff, there are nearly 1.4 million people a year who suffer traumatic brain injury. It is a catastrophic injury that cannot be cured only prevented.

The good thing that has come of Mr. Woodruff's injury as tragic as it has been for him and his family is that now there may be a platform so that people will begin to understand the lifelong impact that survivors and their families must deal with.

When I first heard the news about Bob Woodruff's injuries I was very pessimistic about his future. It is so good to see that he has survived and overcome so much.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, February 27, 2007 7:15 PM CST

I don't know what it is about getting a chance to go to the grocery store, but I always feel better when I have the opportunity to get that chore completed. That is what my big accomplishment for the day has been.

Sean spent the time completing a homework assignment for his MIS class.

Sean and I rolled/walked to BIR for therapy this afternoon. The weather was once again beautiful. Sean really worked hard in therapy. He walked on the treadmill for 17 minutes this afternoon while being suspended from a light gait. He then did stands from the edge of the mat and then rode the Nustep for 15 minutes.

I noticed on the way home he had a glazed look in his eyes, and it turns out that it is exhaustion. His therapy wore him out today.

I will probably get him into bed during the half time of the Mavericks game. Sean is going to send his cousin Tobin a bantering text message because we are playing the Minnesota Timberwolves. Of course, Tobin will be cheering for the Wolves since he lives in Minneapolis.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, February 27, 2007 9:52 AM CST

Sorry I didn't write last night but for some reason, by the time Sean got off the computer I was too exhausted to log in. I had been watching the Mavs game and fell asleep and I could barely rouse myself to get Sean and then myself into bed.

But this is a new day! I just got Sean out of the shower and am on my way to having mine. The weather is absolutely glorious today. The temperature is supposed to be in the upper 70's. Sean and I will definitely be walking to BIR for his PT this afternoon.

Sean and I are getting so excited about our upcoming trip to New York City. We are plotting our sign to display when we go to "The Today Show" next Tuesday morning. We want to make something catchy so that Al Rocher will spot us and we can say we were on the show!

I talked to Sarah, and she is excited about getting up there up as well. I can't believe our timing. She and Roger are moving into their new home this week and she will be leaving immediately after they get in there to meet us in NYC. She is a true friend!

We went to Burlington Coat Factory yesterday after classes to look for a coat but ended up leaving with nothing. I will have to go back by myself so that I will be able to look at the choices. Laura, you were right. I am sure I can find something there.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, February 25, 2007 10:10 PM CST

We hope you enjoyed your Sunday. Sean and I really did. We went to church this evening and then stayed on for a Bible Study. The series this time is using a book called "Beginnings, an Introduction to Christian Faith". It is the perfect series for Sean and I as we begin our journey of faith together.

Even though I had a background in the Methodist faith as a child and then when I was raising the boys in Denison, the perspective I have now after Sean's accident is completely different. I truly am looking to renew my faith.

Sean has so many questions that I am unable to answer, and he feels as though this will be a good platform for his own journey.

We really enjoyed the study because it gave us an opportunity to sit in a small group and discuss questions that our study raised. Including Sean and I, there were 7 of us in our group.

We are now rushing to get into bed and get ready for another week. Next Sunday at this time we will be in New York City!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Saturday, February 24, 2007 6:40 PM CST

Sean and I attended a Friends of Hope Day Camp (Brain Injury Survivor) Camp today at the First Baptist Church in Downtown Dallas. To give you some idea of how big this church is, it takes up one entire city block plus at least part of another one and our Day Camp was on the 9th floor of one of their buildings!

Two young men from Denison, Texas, who also suffered traumatic brain injuries also attended. Chase Ward and Justin McKenzie were riding together and were hit by a drunk driver. Many of you know their stories. Anyway, Justin and Chase are best friends, and Sean and Chase have bonded through their journey into their new lives. I had an opportunity to go out to lunch with Chase and Justin's folks and another mother of a TBI Survivor named John. It was really nice getting out with others who are living the life that Sean and I live. Each of our sons have different deficits, but we are now in this together. As Dr. Mary Carlile told us one time, we are all members in a club that no one wants to be in and you can only join in one way...tragedy.

The Day Camps are alway so uplifting for the Survivors and for their family members as well. It is so special because their are so many of the Baylor Staff who spend their free time to be with the campers.

When we left this afternoon the temperature was in the 70's and the wind was blowing with some gusts up to 50 mph. Not only that, it was like a dust bowl outside. The skies were so full of dust that it was hard to see very far in front of you and the skies looked brown and thick.

I was IM'ing with Kelly Espy of the Caringbridge who lives in Eagen, Minnesota, this evening and she said that they ae in the middle of a severe snow storm with white out conditions, with an expectation of 12-14 inches of snow! Boy, are we glad we live in Dallas!

Sean and I were so glad to see the message from one of the people that Eryn must have talked to during her Victim's Impact Panels. We are glad to see that his story might have saved one life!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing!
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, February 23, 2007 8:46 PM CST

Sean didn't sleep well at all last night. He has seasonal allergies and his nose kept running all night long. He ended up sleeping with the head of his bed up because he is unable to breathe through his mouth and he cannot remember how to blow his nose. Crazy isn't it?

This morning I got his old backpack down that he used to carry at Midwestern. We went through all of the stuff in it and I found a paper that he had written February 11, 2005. It was right before he left to go to Washington to Todd's wedding and about 6 weeks before his accident. I don't know what class it was for, but it had to do with several personality surveys that he had taken.

It is quite remarkable and there are several passages he wrote that pretty much explains how he has remained so positive through all of this (most all of the time).
"I believe that I am the one that controls my own destiy, therefore, I feel no remorse when something bad or unexpected comes along with an unfavorable outcome."

He also said, "I am very optimistic, and I believe that if I try hard enough and stay focused that I can achieve anything. I always stay positive about everything no matter what the circumstances may be...I feel tht no matter how difficult the task given to me I am going to accomplish it."

I have often wondered how Sean is able to stay so positive. I think this paper he wrote is my answer. It is the way he is. He was this way before his accident, and he is this way now. What a strong young man he is!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, February 22, 2007 7:11 PM CST

Sean and I walked to BIR this afternoon to walk in the pool. We spent nearly an hour walking up and back. I think I wore Sean out. I wish it wasn't so difficult to get him out and dressed again or I think I would try to take him everyday. By the time I got him ready for the walk home I was ready for a nap, however, we still had the walk home in front of us. The weather was wonderful though, so we just rolled along.

I am beginning to think that all of the stages of loss are starting to show up in me. I had been blissfully thinking that I was immune, but I can feel that I have started walking each day with a rage inside of me. I don't know who or what I am mad at. I think it is just anger at the life that Sean now leads. How could I have brought my beautiful sons into this world and allowed this to happen to one of them?

I still find myself looking up at him and not really believing that he is really in that chair, or that he really cannot talk to me. My heart hurts with the pain that I know he feels each day. I am beginning to think the smiles that both of us wear are just masks over our pain.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, February 21, 2007 7:47 PM CST

What another beautiful day we had again today. Sean and I are counting down the days until we meet Sarah up in New York City. We can't wait to get up there. I made arrangements with a company to pick us up in a wheelchair van at LaGuardia to drive us into Manhattan.

I wanted to buy a short rain coat today to wear up there and could find nothing suitable at Northpark Center. Texas weather doesn't require those in between coats that are worn up North and there was nothing suitable in the stores.

Sean really enjoyed the weather today because when it is nice like it has been I encourage him to park his chair away from the truck so that we can "walk" him a little bit.

We are really worrying about his therapy. Unitedhealthcare says it will pay for 30 visits a year and Sean really could use 30 visits a month. DARS, the Texas State Agency that can help with funding will not consider Sean because according to them, the patient has to be able to hold down a vocational job. Since Sean has such limited use of his hands they cannot place him vocationally so they will not help us with anything. It is such a conundrum because there is another division called Comprehensive Rehabilitative Services that could have helped Sean but since he is more than a year out from his injury they may not help us either. The reason we did not apply with CRS is because DARS was supposedly working on Sean's case and it has taken them a year to turn us down. We were told that you can only apply for one or the other service and everyone said DARS is what we needed.

As Sean says, "It's water under the bridge!" Somehow some way, God will help us out.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, February 20, 2007 7:50 PM CST

What a beautiful day we had in North Texas today. I hope everyone took a moment to stand outside and enjoy the air. Sean talked me into walking to therapy today.

I often sit in the waiting room while Sean has therapy because he seems to spend too much time making faces and smiling at me when I am sitting in the outpatient gym watching him. I did go back after the first 45 minutes and got to see him in the Lite Gait walking on the treadmill. This is the first time that he has really walked on it since he left Day Neuro in August. He was so extremely proud. Afterwards he rode the Nustep, recumbant bike for about 15 minutes so he really had a good therapy day today.

Walking home with Sean rolling along beside me was a perfect afternoon. Sean kept stopping and holding his face up to the sun. We both feel Spring is coming and will bring a new beginning for Sean.

Manuel, Sean often asks about you when we go up to Baylor. He would like to be able to see you again.

Thank you for caring, and thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, February 19, 2007 8:02 PM CST

We had to get up early this morning to get to school. Sean's Entrepreneurship Team had to do a presentation during their 10 a.m. class so they decided to meet at 8:30 to review. Although Sean didn't have to say anything this time, he felt it important to be there for hs teammates. Part of the grade the students get is a peer review grade, so Sean feels it is necessary to involve himself as much as possible. During the next presentation, Sean will have a speaking role. He will have to program his Rolltalk so that it will "speak" his part. In some ways he is lucky because he can prepare his speech and he won't have to worry about stumbling over his speech.

Sean has spent the day with the computer. He is researching anything that might help him walk. We thought we were onto something called an FES bike, or a Parastep machine that use electrical stimulation to move the legs to peddle or walk. However, I received an e-mail today that explained that since Sean has sensation the electrical stimulation would be too painful to be useful for him. Now we are back to square one.

Sean and I will be attending a Friends of Hope Day Camp on Saturday. It is a survivor camp sponsored by Baylor and will be held at the First Baptist Church in Downtown Dallas.

I am so happy to be living alongside Sean through this new life, but every now and then I get so tired. I was watching a series on the Nightly News tonight that has been going on for the past week. It is about the tremendous stress involved in caring for a parent. That life is really no different than the one that I now live, except that my son is so very young. I worry about what will happen when I am too old to care for him. That day will probably come. Sean says that he feels that his brothers will step in and take over, but I don't feel that is realistic. Not because they wouldn't want to, but they have their own families to care for and they also have jobs. All I can do is turn to the Lord and know that he will watch over Sean. That is what sustains me through each day.

Thank you for sharing and Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, February 18, 2007 8:44 PM CST

Sean enjoyed his visit with his Dad, Grandparents, and Aunt Linda yesterday. Cousin Gary drove up from south of Waco as well. Bob was home with Sean and I took the opportunity to run out and do some errands. I had gone to the SPCA, hoping once again to find a dog for Sean. I finally picked one out, the cutest little puppy and was walking around holding him when I heard this little voice say, "Daddy, He's Gone!" I turned around and there was a little girl who looked to be about 8 or 9 looking into his cage. I walked over and asked her if they wanted to take him, when she answered "yes", I knew that I could not take him, even though I felt that he was the perfect choice for Sean.

Ben, Cheryl, and Shaya came over for Sunday dinner this afternoon. Bob had gone to the shooting range with his friend, Richard.

Sean wanted to get out in the sunlight this afternoon, so Ben and the girls walked with him down to the park that is just down the street from us. I "walked" him a little bit so that he could get out of his chair and stand for a little while.

Sean and I had an appointment with the preacher at "The Way" before church this evening. He has been wanting to talk to a preacher, and we both really like Jennie Churchman. He told me afterwards, that he felt "close" to her.

During the service, Sean had me stand him up during the singing. At the end of the service, when Jennie invited anyone who wanted to join to meet her at the back of the church, Sean looked up at me and mouthed "let's do".

So, we now have a church home. We are both very excited to be members of this new division of Northway Christian Church. "The Way" is a church within a church. It is for those who are seeking God but do not want to be part of a conventional church.

What a huge step this was for Sean to take. I have been ready to join since the first time I attended. It just "feels" right. I felt that the decision needed to coe from Sean, however, because we now are so "joined at the hip" that I wanted him to feel a part of it as well. It is so good to have a church home.

Sean and I will be going to New York City for a few days, March 4. We are going to meet my dear friend, Sarah, up there. She will be flying up from Houston to meet us. We really have no plans other than to go up there. We want to just play it all by ear so that we don't tire Sean out.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, February 16, 2007 9:26 PM CST

Sean had an appointment this morning with his Neuropsychologist, Dr. Frohl, and then this afternoon with his primary care physician for his annual exam.

With the sun shining brightly overhead, his spirits were definitely higher. I am so happy for that.

Kevin came over this evening to use our computer to do his taxes. He stayed and ate dinner with us. In fact, he filled his plate twice! He hasn't had a home cookd meal since he moved down here. We were happy to have his company this evening.

Nanny, PaPaw, Aunt Linda, and Danny, (Sean's Dad) are coming down for a visit on Saturday morning. The weather should be much warmer for their drive down here.

Could it be? Spring is in the Air?

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, February 15, 2007 9:09 PM CST

I hope that you all stayed warmer than Sean and I did. It was bitter cold (for Texas) this morning. The temperature was about 22 degrees and the wind was howling from the north making it even colder.

I froze getting the wheelchair loaded and unloaded this morning. Even though it is freezing cold, Sean's body allows him to move at only one pace...turtle speed! I told him I was going to start calling him "Molasses" because he moves so slow. I always tease him on mornings like this and say "Run Forest, Run", but all we end up doing is laughing, which takes us even longer to get moving.

Sean had his Bones, Bodies and Disease Class this morning. We came home and had lunch and then laid him down for a "Power Nap". When he got up he had an appointment with the Brain Injury Eye Specialist, Dr. Carmen-Merrifield. She spent an hour and a half with Sean and realized during her exam that Sean has nystagmus, which is a rapid eye movement that he can only steady when he looks down. This is the reason that his head is always bent down over his Rolltalk. There really is no fix, but at least now we understand why he does this.

Sean has had a good day today. I will rest a little easier tonight knowing that he is once again on his positive course.

Thank you for sharing and Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, February 14, 2007 7:03 PM CST

This will be brief because I want to spend the evening with my two Valentines.

Sean took his test today and came out of his testing office with a grin. The test was 100 questions long, but it was all true/false and multiple choice. Sean told me that he felt he might have made at least an 80. He had studied with his Speech Therapist on Tuesday and then I went over questions with him last night.

Sean's spirits were lighter today, and of course, that lightened mine. The sun may shine again soon, and my Son might, too!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, February 13, 2007 9:05 PM CST

This week is wearing both Sean and I down. Anticipating a meeting that we were going to have with the BIR outpatient staff and then a test in MIS on Wednesday, Sean woke me up just after midnight needing to talk. He is in such deep dark despair. School is overwhelming him right now and another thing that is looming is the fact that his insurance will only pay 30 therapy visits a year.

He was awake almost all night long, crying and crying about his life. It has now been nearly two years and he is finding it hard to find a reason for living. He is so weighed down by his body and his inability to just sit down and just TALK to people. He really does not understand what his purpose is.

I know it is easy for people to say to him that he has a purpose and it will be revealed to him in time. Right now he feels as though everyone's life is going on and he is just "existing". It is so hard to hold your child in your arms and tell him that everything will be ok, when you don't know yourself that it is so.

We spent time studying for his test this evening and now the Mavs are on and they are finally making a run at The Bucs. Hopefully, they will pull it out, and so will Sean!

Thank you for sharing and Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, February 12, 2007 8:00 PM CST

Sean and I have been so very busy today. As soon as I got him out of bed, we got ready for school and since it was raining, left with only an Instant Breakfast as Sean's breakfast. You never know what the rain slick streets will do to a 17 mile commute up Hwy 75.

Of course when we arrived in the parking lot of the School of Management at UTD, it was raining buckets. Bob had made an umbrella holder, so I was able to get the wheelchair out while getting it minimally wet. Getting Sean out and keeping his truck seat dry was a totally different story.

I had put Sean's poncho over his head while he was in the truck. I was wearing an old windbreaker with a hood that was Ben's at one time. Sean's right leg was not bending well, so that added time in the rain as I struggled to get it bent enough to stand him upright. Standing brought about another dilemma. Sean could not see his feet or mine because of his vision obstruction caused by the poncho. He and I were laughing but on my part it was to keep from crying in desperation. Sean couldn't figure out how to get his feet to move, so we were going nowhere as the rain poured down upon us. As we were struggling, his Entrepreneurship Instructor walked up and asked if he could help. As much as I would have loved the help there was reall nothing for him to do. I had to get Sean ambulating to his chair and it just wasn't happening. And the rain continued to pour. Finally, some how we managed to get to the chair. After Sean sat down we had another problem. His right leg would not bend so he could not get pushed back comfortably into his chair. Mr. Robb was standing there with his umbrella and Sean and I were struggling to get him situated.

Finally, success, Sean was in the chair and I was able to run over and get his truck seat raised back up and reinstalled inside the truck. Luckily, I have a wheelchair cushion on it that I was able to shake rainwater from before I closed the truck.

When we finally got inside the School of Management we were both drenched. Sean had two classes that finally got over about 12:45. Luckily the rain had abated, so we were able to dodge the drops and get loaded up without getting too wet. We were then off for the commute down to BIR. Sean had an appointment for a Botox evalution. He needs it in his right arm, hand, elbow and fingers as well as the two middle toes on each foot. Now the insurance company has to agree to the need. Unfortunately they think the procedure is experimental. They do not have documented efficacy of the procedure. All they need to do is talk to any of the staff working at BIR and they would know otherwise. I can feel the need to write another appeal coming on this one.

Since Sean's right leg is still giving us fits, Dr. Thomas upped his Baclofen Pump again. Finally, we were through for the afternoon. We went right to The Alligator to get lunch to bring home. At 4:15, Sean and I sat down for our first meal of the day.

At least this day is now nearly over. Sean and I will try to get in bed before 10 because tomorrow is his early class. We will try to fit lunch in and then go to BIR for all of his therapies, as well as a family conference. I am afraid they are going to give us bad news. Although our insurance will pay for more than 30 visits, Baylor says that they find that they do not normally get paid by the insurance company after 30, so I am afraid they are going to tell us that Sean's therapy is soon over.

Already I can tell in every step that Sean makes that he is regressing instead of moving forward. I am very scared about the future, but I have to continue to think positive. What else can I do? Besides, I love my son and together we will keep on keepin' on.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, February 11, 2007 1:16 PM CST

Bob, Sean and I went to the "Body Works" exhibit at The Science Place at Fair Park Saturday afternoon. It is an exhibit of the human body (many, many, many of them) that have been plastinated. You can see everything from skeletons to actual organs. Sean is going to try to write a paper about the exhibit to improve his grade in his Bones, Bodies and Disease class.

Kevin and Brian came by this morning for a visit. The three of them sat here and visited for a good while. Brian has to drive home ot Sherman and then on to Wichita Falls, so they had to get on the road.

Bob has gone to the shooting range with his buddy this afternoon. Sean wants to take a nap and then we will go to church this afternoon.

Ben and Cheryl are out looking at houses this afternoon. They are just in the preliminary looking stage, with no definite plans at this time, but we are all excited.

This has been such a cold crummy weather with forecast of more of the same this week. Hopefully, once this next week has passed we will be on the way to better weather.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, February 9, 2007 8:36 PM CST

I am happy to be able to tell you that the "bug" that I had has been squashed. So far, Bob and Sean are immune from it. I am just going to assume that is so and not allow anything negative into my thoughts.

Eryn called this afternoon to share with me the story she shared about her cousin with 56 more people who had to attend Victim's Impact Meeting. We are so proud of her and so thankful that she wants to share Sean's story in hopes that it may save someone's life, or life of tragedy.

Sean and I watched an episode of Oprah this week about "The Secret". Have you wondered what it is? Well, we have decided that we are going to live our life with the secret. Basically it means (I have to paraphrase). You have to accept the things that happened to you, but you have to choose to live with the positive energy that only you can bring to your life. Sean and I cannot dwell about what has happened to him. It has and as Sean says, "It is water under the Bridge". Nothing we can do can change what has happened. We do, however, have the ability to change the consequences. We don't have to accept that this is all there is to our lives. We have to believe that there is more to what we are doing than just existing in our own united Hell. Only Sean and I, have the power to bring good into our lives. There are times that we can only see the good we have in our relationship, the rest is just crap. Well, that isn't true. If we believe in the possibilities for Sean's future (and for mine), than the good things we believe will happen...Will Happen!

I got Sean into the pool at BIR this afternoon. It was our first time together. Something happened that was almost funny, except that it would have been so scary if it had really happened. I almost dropped Sean backwards in the pool. We were walking and he started falling backward, and I had nothing to grab onto. Somehow, I guess sheer will, allowed me to get him upright on his feet. I told him that he would not drown in that pool. There were too many people there who would not allow that to happen. Therefore, I didn't want him to get sick from swallowing a bunch of water. We were just going to stay on our feet and walk! This was our first time together, and it took a long time to get us both dressed afterwards. I am sure that just like everything else we do, it will get better with practice!

Morgan Morsko, please tell your parents, grandmother and your brother Nate we said "hello" and thank you so much for signing the guestbook. We hope all is well with your family.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, February 8, 2007 6:12 PM CST

I apologize for not making a journal entry yesterday. I came down with some weird "bug" yesterday morning as I was getting Sean up and ready for the day. Before we even left for school, I had to give up and crawl back in the bed. I stayed in bed all day except for getting up when Sean absolutely had to have me (bathroom breaks and lunch) When Bob came in at 7 he took over.

I was hoping that when I woke upthis morning things would be better and I would get Sean to his morning class. Well, I felt even worse. Every movement I made I thought I would vomit. Although I never did, it felt like it was lurking there just waiting to erupt. (Excuse the grossness of my remark).

Bob has never gotten Sean out of bed by himself, but I could not help at all this morning. The two of them managed to get Sean up and dressed and into his chair. Bob stayed around long enough to give Sean something to eat and give him his morning meds.

I called Ben because I did not feel that I could even care for Sean at all. He had a sales demo this morning, but got here as soon as he could. He brought lunch for Sean and stayed and made sure that Sean had his fill. I was also finally able to eat a few bites of food. Ben went back to work and I continued my unrestful slumber. I woke up abut 2 o'clock, and although I don't feel 100 percent, I definitely feel like I will survive! Sean is so happy. He told me that he was really beginning to worry.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, February 6, 2007 7:29 PM CST

Sean woke up at 4 this morning worrying about his test. I tried to get him to go back to sleep, but at 5, we both gave up and I got him up and ready for his day.

I usually always get up and get myself ready before I get Sean up, but this morning was an exception. While I got ready for the day, he was already up studying? Well not exactly. He was text messaging his friends. His message to them, "I am feeling guilty because I thought about cheating on this test." He got all kinds of responses from them. He shared them all with me. The advice he chose to follow was his friend, Gaylon Riddles. Gaylon told Sean that by the time he gets to Law School, no one would ever ask him what he made on this test, so he shouldn't cheat.

Actually, I really think that Sean had decided right away that he wasn't going to cheat. He just needed to hear his friends tell him what they thought.

After Sean's test, we went to the Super Target that is right by UTD. We spent at least an hour covering the store, aisle by aisle. I have not really wandered a store in months, so it was really fun.

From the store, we came home and had lunch and then we were off to BIR for PT this afternoon. Since it was such an absolutely beautiful day, Sean decided that he needed to make me walk to BIR so that I would get some exercise as well.

While at therapy, Chad, his PT had him ride the recumbant bike and then he did sitting and standing exercises. He was so excited because he was able to stand today and Chad just had to hold him steady with one hand. I don't know how else to explain the sound that Sean makes when he feels he has accomplished something. In my mind he is "crowing". He crowed and crowed while standing beside Chad. And of course he has his beautiful smile just bursting across his face.

I am so glad that I had this wonderful day to share with "My Beautiful Boy",

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, February 5, 2007 9:55 PM CST

The weather was absolutely gorgeous today. Sean hs spend most of this afternoon studying. We have an extremely early morning and he takes his test tomorrow. I will make a real journal entry Tuesday afternoon.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, February 4, 2007 8:54 PM CST

Today was such a nice day. Sean and I got up and I got him into the tub. He always takes his own shirt off now, and is always so proud when he gets it off. He kind of twirls it and throws it the way "Gypsy Rose Lee" must have done as she "performed" for the crowds.

Ben, Cheryl and Sean came over for a few hours this afternoon. Bob went to Red, Hot, and Blue and brought a tray of Memphis barbaqued ribs home for lunch. Kevin was going to come over but he decided to stay home and rest up for the new week. He had come down with a migraine, and I certainly don't blame him for laying around today.

Sean and I went to church this evening. I think I mentioned it last Sunday. It is a really small congregation that meets at 5 each Sunday evening. I had gone last Sunday. Sean was so tired that he stayed home, but tonight he wanted to go with me. The membership is so warm and welcoming and the pastor, Jennie Churchman is so vibrant. We both really enjoyed the service. Bob is not ready to make the step to attend with us. Hopefully he will in time. Maybe you could pray for that along with us.

Sean wants to meet with Jennie in a couple of weeks to discuss some of his questions of faith with her.

We don't have the Superbowl on. None of us could get into the game with the teams that are playing. We are looking forward to the Mavs again on Wednesday. Sean is studying for his next test in Bones, Bodies and Disease.

Well, a new week begins. Hope it is a great one for all of you.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Saturday, February 3, 2007 8:28 PM CST

When Sean woke up this morning, I cleared the bed off and he practiced rolling from side to side. He did it several times and was so happy! He can't do it yet, totally by himself, but he just needs the smallest bit of help at his hip and with getting his leg bent, but when he goes over, he GOES over!

We made our trip to the optometrist, who has changed Sean's contac prescription. One eye has weakened by .25 and the other by .50. He also gave Sean a card that has red and green circles on it to use for eye therapy. He told Sean that there are muscles to focus and muscles to aim, and Sean's were not working together. Those the discrepancy in his vision. He told Sean that he had to do therapy for his eyes each day just as he does for the rest of his body. Then he gave us a pair of new contacs to try tomorrow and for a couple of weeks. If they work, then every thing is cool until his eyes change again. Otherwise, I will need to take him to the neuro-opthamologist and see if she can help him.

Sean and I went next door to the eye doctor's office to a little Pizzaria that we really enjoy. We shared a pizza and Sean had some spaghetti. Afterwards we came home and I had another opportunity to meet some of my girlfriends. We spent time at one of their homes and then went out to dinner. Bob was here with Sean and then Kevin dropped in for a little while this afternoon.

On the way home from my dinner, I stopped and got Sean some Chinese food. Kevin had already left. Unfortunately since I was not here to prod Sean he did not study today. Kevin will be here again tomorrow afternoon, so I will have to get after Sean to work on his schoolwork in the morning.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, February 2, 2007 9:18 PM CST

Sean and I stayed in most of the day. We did get out for therapy this afternoon, but had it not been for that, I would not have ventured out at all. It was cold all day in Dallas. Hopefully there will be just a few more days of cold weather and then our wonderful Texas Springtime will begin.

I have to take Sean to the eye doctor tomorrow. Depending on what he determines about Sean's eyes we will know whether it is a vision issue or something neurological. I'll post a picture of Sean with his eye patch on sometime this weekend.

We don't have any big plans for the weekend. Sean has his test on Tuesday so he is going to try to spend time studying. Hopefully what he studies will sink in and he will do better on his next test.

We don't know yet if we will see Ben and Cheryl. They may be going to a Super Bowl Party. Sean, Bob and I are not fans of either the Colts or 'Da Bears, so I don't know if we will even watch the game.

Hopefully all of you stayed warm today! Jama, were you safe from the horrible weather in Floriday. Lois, were the storms anywhere near Susie?

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, February 1, 2007 8:17 PM CST

Whew! Today was a really cold one. On top of that it was raining as we left home and when we arrived at the campus. I managed to get Sean into his chair without getting him or the truck seat too wet. Bob is going to make a little holder for the umbrella handle and attach it to Sean's wheelchair so that it will be up, open over Sean's head. It is great having a handy man, with the tools to be able to make things for us!

Sean has another test in his Bones, Bodies and Disease (Forensic Anthropology) class on Tuesday. We were so excited today. We overheard someone talking about their grade on their last test, and Sean's grade was higher! Whoohoo! I don't mean to sound like I am gloating. But remember, Sean is struggling with a brain injury. His grade was not the lowest one in the room. That is what he was so worried about. I am going to try to help him study this weekend, and maybe he will do even better on Tuesday.

Bob worked Monday until after 11 p.m. and Tuesday until after 10. I know he was freezing working off of the cold concrete floor of the shop. With the cold and dampness that all of us encountered as we went about our business this week, I am sure that you, like the three of us are looking forward to the weekend.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, January 31, 2007 9:02 PM CST

Today has been a good day. Even though it started out with our loading into the truck while it was sleeting. We were in our parking garage and by the time we got to UTD, that had stopped so although cold, we weren't wet.

Sean had two classes today. I am so pleased because in his Entrepeneurship class, all of his teammates are beginning to interact with Sean. This morning, one of the guys, Nate, made a point of including Sean in discussions and in setting up assignments. I have always sat next to Sean, but I moved over to his other side and Nate moved to sit beside him. Every now and then during the instructor's lecture, Nate and Sean would trade jokes.

Sean had been struggling with an assignment in his M.I.S. class and we even stayed after class to discuss with the instructor. When we got home this afternoon we realized that Sean had already finished it! He actually had a little more to complete so he got that done and he can relax for the rest of this evening.

We are once again parked in front of another Mavs game. Shirley, they are so close! Hopefully by morning you will see this is a win.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, January 30, 2007 7:59 PM CST

Just when I think the story is over, there are new entries lifting us up and giving us hope. How can I ever thank all of you enough? Those of you who continue to log in and let us know you are listening? Praying? Caring?

I read all of today's entries to Sean this evening. As I did, I cried. Tears of thankfulness, for all of you.

Sean has been having a terrible time with his vision this past week. He can barely read the computer screen at all. He realized on Sunday that if he covered one eye he could see out of the other one. I taped a gauze bandage over one eye, and he had a little easier time of it. It doesn't matter which eye is covered, he can see out of the uncovered eye.

He told me this afternoon that his vision changes through out the day. I am going to call and leave a message to let his neurologist know about this latest problem.

Sean's right side has also been as stiff as a board. We arrived home from school this morning and I immediately got Sean into the shower. Well almost all of Sean. He had to lay his right leg up on the edge of the tub because no matter what I did, I could not get it to bend at the knee. I have noticed that it is getting stiffer and stiffer.

While he was at therapy this afternoon, he saw Dr. Thomas and he took him in to his office and increased his Baclofen by 15 percent. Hopefully over the next 24-48 hours it will begin to relax his leg a little bit.

It is another Mavericks night. They are playing Seattle tonight. Hopefully they will beat them. Right now the game is so close it is hard to tell who will win.

Thank you so, so, so, very much for all of your entries!

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, January 29, 2007 7:57 PM CST

Eryn and I were talking by phone one evening and she said, "Sean looks so normal in his pictures. Sometimes people that just see his pictures don't realize how [profoundly] his injuries have impacted him."

Sometimes I forget that he does not always think or act the way he would have before his accident. That is when I have to appreciate the enormity of Sean's brain injury.

An incident occurred between Sean and someone he has been communicating with. After it happened he realized that he had acted inappropriately. He woke up last night worrying about the "mess" he had made between them. He woke me up and we ended up deep in discussion for a couple of hous in the middle of the night. He was in such deep despair about his own behavior. When Sean has these feelings they cannot be triviliazed. He also doesn't need jokes at times like this.

Many times when he is in one of these moods he starts questioning God. Sean told me that he needs a miracle in order to believe. On this occasion, my explanation was that he needed to think about Bob as an answer for our miracle. I had met Bob just 3 months before Sean's accident. From the moment I got the phone call that tragic Easter morning, Bob has stepped up and said, "We have to do what is best for Sean". He agreed that the best thing was for me to quit my job and stay home to take care of Sean. This was a huge sacrifice from a man who has always lived alone and who has no children. Bob is a humble man of humble means. I know that we are a hardship for him. But he steadfastly supports Sean and I. Anything we need, he makes every effort to provide. He has put us way above himself. I could go on and on about the selfless man who loves us both. He always says, "Do what is best for "our" boy."

But the point of this story is really about Sean and his need for "proof". He listened and finally agreed, that he could use Bob as his proof. I don't have the answers that Sean seeks. I do know, and I told him, that there is a point in your life when you just have to believe and have faith. Faith is what carries you through.

I also explained to Sean that he only had to look at himself for proof of God's hand in his life. I reminded him that according to statistics, people with the severity of brain injury that he had, the fact that he was able to have this level of conversation was indeed a miracle. It is also a testimony to all of the prayers that have gone up on his behalf.

It has been nearly two years, and I sometimes think that there is nothing more to say about Sean's journey. But today is proof that the story continues!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, January 28, 2007 8:44 PM CST

Sean was so tired after his late night last night. He slept until almost 10. By the time I got him up and showered it was 11:30. He spent most of the day working on his schedule for his Speech Therapist. One of her primary responsibilities is to work with Sean so that he can learn to manage his schedule. This includes planning time to study and do home therapy.

I went to church this evening at 5. Sean was going to attend with me but he was exhausted after his weekend, so he stayed home with Bob and watched TV and text messaged friends.

Kevin came by for a few minutes this evening. He had driven the route from his apartment to his new job, so that he would be familiar with his route the first morning.

He keeps trying to get Sean to say his name. Sean was working hard at it, but he spelled to Kevin that right now he is just working on one syllable words. He was making noise though and trying to say it.

I have got to wrap things up so thatI can get Sean to bed early. He doesn't do well when he starts the week out tired.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, January 28, 2007 8:07 AM CST

Yesterday was a day of family and friendship. My group of walking buddies (who I never walk with anymore) met for a wedding shower. One of their sons is marrying a beautiful young woman and we were all together to celebrate them.

Ben came over to stay with Sean and both of them had a visit from their Dad, Danny. Ben is not usually around when Danny comes to visit so I am sure that they both enjoyed their time together.

After the shower, my friends and I went out to dinner together. I had driven Ben's Expedition and he had our truck. He loaded up Sean, and they drove to north Dallas to pick up Cheryl. From there they drove on to Kevin's apartment. They were joined by Sean and Kevin's friends from High School. Brian, Damon, Bradley, Gaylon, Nikki and Candace were there as well as Kevin's cousin, Kristen(who had planned it all). Sean told me that it felt like "High School" Days to have them all together. He enjoyed the camaraderie of the evening.

After my dinner, I drove down to our apartment and picked up Bob and we went to Cheryl and Ben's apartment to watch TV and wait for them to return so that we could swap vehicles and take Sean home. Shaya had been at a party, so we picked her up.

When we met everyone down in the parking lot, Sean had a crazy wig of Kevin's on. I will post the picture this evening. You will enjoy it!

Arriving home, and getting ready for bed Sean was sharing his evening with me via his Rolltalk. He was telling me all that his brother had done for him. We talked about how much Ben loves him, and Sean looked at me and mouthed. I Love Him! Sean loves both of his brothers so much and I see and feel the love they have for him all of the time. I don't think that Todd has missed a day calling me since Sean had his accident. Although he cannot be here, his heart is definitely with his twin. Ben's love can be more obvious because we do live close. He could go on with his life, and he is, but his brother is a big part of that life and he lets him know with his presence.

I am so blessed to have such wonderful sons, and I know that Danny feels that blessing as well!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, January 26, 2007 7:41 PM CST

Sean had an appointment with Dr. Gonzalez at the Baylor College of Dentistry this morning. It was a little chilly when we started out about 10 a.m. but we decided we needed the sunlight, so we walked over there. It was such a beautiful morning and we laughted and giggled all the way there. Dr. Gonzalez is such a very nice young man, as is his staff. They all really like Sean and were so proud of him when he stood up and showed them how he can say, "I Love MoM".

We rolled on home and had lunch and then Sean had to be back to BIR for rehab this afternoon. I drove him over there because I needed to run get a shower gift for a friend's soon to be daughter-in-law. I ran up to Northpark, then got back and picked Sean up and we ran to the grocery store. He always sits in the truck while I run in and grab the stuff.

This evening we decided to raise our social awareness again and are watching "Hotel Rwanda". Everyone should take a couple of hours and watch this movie. It is such a tragedy, but it will give some insight into now what is going on in Darfur today.

Ben is going to come send the afternoon with Sean while I go to the shower tomorrow. He is really ok on his own for a couple of hours, but I may be gone for the afternoon, so Ben will come over to break up the monotony and to spend time with his brother.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, January 25, 2007 9:33 PM CST

Sean started taking his "smart pills" last night. He is actually taking Aricept which is an Alzheimer's Drug. His neurologist told us that they are finding that it helps some people with TBI's focus better and have increased memory retention. He said that it might help Sean with his school studies.

Sean has only had them for one night, but he told me today that he feels as though he is more aware of his body. He feels as though his right arm and right leg are responding a little more easily. He said that even if it is not the "smart pill" he will pretend that it is.

We are holding our breath with this drug however, because it is supposed to be very hard on the gastrointestinal tract. Time will tell, probably very quickly, if that is the case.

After class this morning, Sean and I met Kevin and Kristen at the Ikea Store in Frisco. It was the first time that either of them had been in there. They were both really impressed with the store. Kevin is already planning a return trip. Both Kevin and Kristen saw things that they would like to have. Sean spent almost the whole time text messaging someone. He finds it very difficult to look at anything because he is living with MoM and there is really nothing that he needs. He always tells me that all that he wants is to be able to walk and to talk. Unfortunately those are not things that you can buy so he has no real interest in material things. He did enjoy his outing however.

When we finished the Ikea thing, Sean and I drove home. Kevin and Kristen were going to work out and then were planning on getting Kevin's apartment put together.

We watched the Mavs lose to the Chicago Bulls. What a disappointment. No school tomorrow. Sean has one appointment in the morning and then he has speech therapy in the afternoon.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, January 24, 2007 7:59 PM CST

Well, one more day of school down for this week and for the semester. It was a good thing that I was sitting beside Sean in his 2nd class this morning because he was borderline falling asleep. I kept threatening him that I was going to pinch him! He did make it through, however. We went straight from there to Taco Bell drive thru to grab a bite of lunch and drove straight over to BIR. I unloaded Sean and we ran in with our lunch, ate, and it was time for PT.

I sat in the waiting room and waited on Sean. When he came out, he was smiling happily. He had worked hard, riding 15 minutes on the recumbant bike, as well as squatting and swaying back and forth from side to side.

We are now winding down for the day in front of American Idol. Some of these kids must be delusional! We are going to wrap the day up early because tomorrow starts early. Our plan is to meet Kristen and Kevin after class tomorrow to show Kevin where in the world Kevin is in Dallas, and Frisco, and Plano!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, January 23, 2007 8:40 PM CST

Sean was so disappointed today. He really didn't retain much for his test and he read, and read, listened to the lectures a second and third time. He told me that there were 40 questions. Ten of them were definitions and he was only able to answer one of those. He said he might have gotten 50 percent of the other ones correct.

While he was taking his test, I went to the "Pub" and had a Starbucks. After his test, we talked to his Disability Services Advisor after the test. She told Sean that she has never seen a student return to college so soon after his injury. She also said that because of his brain injury, it is possible that only one or possibly two classes would be considered a full time load for Sean. She said that she would have really expected him to just take one class this semester. She told him that she admired him for attempting a "full load" on top of his therapy this semester. She also said that she would help him any way possible. He is a little more encouraged after hearing her words.

When we left school, we decided it was time to drop in on Kevin at his new apartment. He lives on the ground floor, but there ar 4 steps up into his apartment. We decided to "walk" Sean in and just sit him on the couch, so that is what Kevin and I did. I left the guys there while Kevin was having his Direct TV installed. I drove out to get lunch for the 3 of us. It is so good to see where Kevin is located. He is in the perfect apartment complex for a young person. It is huge, with shops and restaurants right in the complex. It is actually more like a little village, and is out in The Colony, which is one of Dallas' better suburbs. Not only that, it is straight up the Tollway from us. Although it is about 20 miles away, it is pretty much a straight shot. After lunch, Sean got sleepy. It had already been a long and stressful day, so we came home and I laid him down for a nap.

We just watched another Mavericks winning game! Yoohoo!!!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, January 22, 2007 8:07 PM CST

Sean has gone to his room to study. He wants me to call the doctor tomorrow and ask him to prescribe a medication he had been telling Sean about that is used to treat Alzheimer's. The doctor has found that it is also useful in treating some TBI cases, helping them focus which in turn helps with memory retention. He is really worrying about his tests. Please understand, he suffers from traumtic brain injury. It really does affect his memory and his concentration. It is not the same hurdle that you or I would have worrying and studying for a test. It is also not what Sean experienced before his accident and he knows it.

I am going to see if there is anyway I can help him with his studying tonight and then I will try to get him to go to bed early.

He will go to the Disability Services office to take the test tomorrow. They have to give him the test on a flash drive so that he can load it and complete it on his Rolltalk and then they will print it off to turn in. They have a proctor sitting with him to ensure that no one else helps him with it. I can't imagine that being a conducive testing climate, but it is the way he will do all of his tests.

Please say a little prayer for him tonight!

We are planning on going to pick up Kevin for lunch tomorrow. I don't think that we will try to go into his apartment yet. I am sure that things will be chaotic for Kevin until Kristen comes down to help him sort through and put away. Hopefully, Sean will be able to pay him a real visit this weekend.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, January 21, 2007 6:47 PM CST

Sean is so looking forward to Kevin being down here. He and Kevin have shared so much over the years and he has really been "here" for Sean since his accident. Kevin treats Sean the same as he always has. Nothing seems to have changed between them except that it takes Sean a little longer to tease Kevin because he has to "spell" his barbs out. Other than that, they go on the way they always did. I know that Kevin will challange Sean to keep working and he is honestly at the point where he needs someone beside his MoM doing that for him.

As any child does with their mother, they eventually "tune" them out. I find that Sean tries to do that with me when I attempt to steer him towards doing something that he feels is hopeless. He has been really worrying because he tells me that he is not able to retain information that he reads the way he used to. He said that he spends an hour reading and at the end of that time he has no idea what he has read. He has a test on Tuesday in his Forensic Anthropology Class and hopefully he will do better than he feels he is going to. That might be what encourages him. He has been worrying about it since he has back at school, working to keep up with all of his studying.

Sean is beginning to really understand how profoundly his Brain Injury has affected every facet of his life. He is still so smart, but his brain is injured and he will always have to deal with these deficits. Now he is worrying about what the future will hold. He told me last night that he has been wanting to be an attorney for at least 6 or 7 years and now it feels that it is out of his grasp. He says that now he does not know how he will make a living.

I don't want to burden Kevin with too much of this. He has his own life to live. But I truly feel that Kevin will stay in Sean's life and encourage him when he is down and challenge him when he needs it.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Saturday, January 20, 2007 10:02 PM CST

Sean and I drove through the rain today to go to the Wible's. Brian came home from Wichita Falls, and we decided that we have been housebound due to the cold and rain long enough.

Monette had made a delicious, "farm" supper. Sean loves her cooking and he was so excited about the opportunity to eat with them again. Sean had often spent weekends with Brian at his parents house, growing up, so he felt right at home.

Justin Boren came over and the three young men sat together in the den watching TV and talking, while Monette, Ramona (Brian's sister) and I, visited in the living room. Monette was sewing a project for Sean's entrepeneurship class,but I think we drove away and forgot it!

Monette and Ramona had both gotten the cutest little Sharpai puppies. Monette's Tassie, has so many wrinkles that she did not look like a real dog to me. Ramona's Bella, is less wrinkled on the body, but her head is wrinkled. They are the cutest little dogs.

We drove home through the pouring rain, but just as we got to our apartments, the rain seemed to be stopping. Now that we are home, the weather report is that "The sun will come out tomorrow". That is exactly how we feel!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, January 19, 2007 9:58 PM CST

Another week has passed. Sean only had school 2 days because of MLK day and the weather. School was closed on Wednesday. Sean has his first test on Tuesday and it is supposed to be cold and rainy. I think that means we will be staying in, staying warm.

I had a conversation with Sean this morning and told him that he was being too complacent with his recovery. He is not working as hard as he must to become independent again. I told him that he is too used to me doing everything for him and he needs to take charge and try to do everything he can for himself. I also told him that he can't rely on me for his motivation.

So, when we went into the shower he managed to pull his shirt off by himself. Afterwards he sat and struggled with his clean shirt and managed to get it all the way on...by himself!! When I transferred him to his wheelchair, he was able to position himself comfortably, all by himself. He even managed to get his footrests down himself and he got both feet on them, All By Himself!!!

I sent him in to therapy by himself and told him that he would have to get someone to help him take his jacket off. I ran on to the grocery store and when I went into therapy for the last hour to watch him, they told me that he had taken his jacket off...All By Himself!!

We are both so happy. He has agreed that he will work harder. We have agreed that we are going to schedule time during our day to do therapy and we are going to cut down therapy at BIR to just once a week for speech and once a week for physical therapy. They may be done on the same day sometimes or on two different days, and each one will probably be 45 minutes or an hour. We will take the responsibility for moving Sean forward.

Stay warm, everyone!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing.
Sean's MoM,Jenny Carter

Thursday, January 18, 2007 7:36 PM CST

I was thinking about your perception of my statement, "All we have is Love". I really wasn't meloncholy that day and I am sorry I gave that impression. Sean and I were so happy that day. I had actually been thinking that we just didn't have the stress on us that everyone else has. Sean and I don't have to worry about whether or not our employer approves of our work, or if we have to get along with our coworkers. The only deadlines we have to meet are arriving at class and therapy on time. Other than that, everything is on our time and on our terms.

Well, not entirely because I do have to fight with the insurance company, weekly. Other than that though, our life is so very simple. We watch the Today show and Nightly News most days so we know whats going on in the world. We alternate between Sean's MTV programs and The Ellen Degeneres Show and Oprah.

Looking in on us people might feel sympathy for us. Looking out of our world, we have great sympathy for every one else.

Does this explain that song in my head? "All We Have is Love, Love. Love is all we have!"

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, January 18, 2007 7:36 PM CST

Thursday, January 18, 2007 6:03 AM CST

I just realized that I had not updated the website. I have to get Sean up this morning in just a minute for school. Early classes today after a day at home due to the ice/snow of yesterday. Darn! It's so cold, I don't want to get him out this morning either. But we have to do what we have to do, just like you do.

We spent the day piddling around home yesterday. Sean did work on homework and I cooked a really good wintery dinner. After working out in the unheated shop all day, Bob was ready for a good hot meal when he came in.

Hope you all stay warm. The weather woman on Channel 5 is already predicting more travel problems for Friday and Saturday. Stay in if you can but most of all, Stay Warm!!!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, January 16, 2007 9:12 PM CST

It felt so bitter cold here today. For those of you who live farther north, you probably are laughing at us. I heard on the TV that our average temperature during a year is 80 degrees, so when it sits right at freezing for more than a couple of days the cold starts eating at you. Especially when the wind is blowing. I don't think it would bother us so bad but it takes so long to get Sean and his chair in and out of the truck that I am frozen with a capital F by the time I finally get to crawl in.

We had to be in class this morning at 8:30 so we left the apartment shortly after 7. There are no parking lots close to the buildings at UTD so I felt like a popsicle by the time we got into the building. Sean wouldn't let me take his jacket off of him for nearly a half hour.

We studied the bones of the skull today. There are 219 bones in the body and 30 of them are in the skull! It was Forensic Anthropology today. After class, we braved the cold again, got home, ate lunch and then we were out in it again for therapy at BIR.

I was putting Sean into the truck and I suddenly heard the Beatles song in my head, only instead of hearing "All we need is Love", I heard, "All we HAVE is Love". I told Sean about it and we agreed. You know, our days are tough physically and sometimes emotionally just because of the stress that goes along with the physicality of our day. But when it comes right down to it. Really, all Sean and I really experience all day every day is "Love". We have an immense amount of it between the two of us. Our world is bordered by it, the love of Ben, Todd and Bob. The love of family and the love we get from all of you. And at the center of our world is the Love that Sean and I have for each other. I don't know that a mother and son where supposed to be so aware of it, but we cetainly are. There is nothing that we really need. We have a warm home, food on the table, clothes to wear.

We've got it all!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, January 15, 2007 8:33 PM CST

By the time Sean and I ventured out to go to the neurologist today the ice had melted on the roads that we traveled and we had no problem getting there. It was really, really cold, however.

Aunt Meri-Jac called while she was on her way home from work this tonight. The thermometer in her car read 11 below zero! That was in Wahpeton, North Dakota, not here in Dallas. Can you imagine?

We saw Dr. Diaz-Arristia this afternoon. He was so pleased with Sean's cognitive ability. He also was very impressed that Sean had started back to college and with the courses that he was taking. He decided to take off one of the medications that Sean has been taking since his accident. Baby steps, even this is one of those Baby Steps. It means the world to us!

Dr. Diaz-Arristia was telling us that he really feels that one of the reasons Sean has done so well is his excellent support system at home. When he said this, Sean looked right at me and mouthed "Thanks". Once again I have to say, it is such a privilege to care for my son. And he and I are so blessed that Bob has made it all possible. Neither one of us know where we would be without him.

Thank you all for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, January 14, 2007 8:26 PM CST

We have escaped the ice so far. Cross your fingers. Sean is out of school for MLK Day on Monday. We do have to get out to see the Neurologist, Dr. Diaz-Arristia. Other than that we will be here at home. I am thankful that our appointment isn't until 1 p.m. so hopefully if there is ice as we sleep tonight it will be gone by then.

Today has been a chill-ax day. I have gotten Sean out of his chair several times today to stand and to walk. He also rode "Lucky" for a while this afternoon. He studied in his room for a little while this afternoon. I also spent time with him, helping him exercise and move his right arm.

I threw the rest of our red velvet cake away. We each had a piece today and then decided it was time for the diet to begin! We are both going to start eating healthier. I had gone for a couple of years without eating any of the "white" stuff, especially unbleached flour, but the holidays this year did me in. Sean had not eaten sweets the entire time he has been rehabing until the Holidays either, but we have both been horrible. It is time to get back to healthy eating. I was listening or reading something that said that you should eat nothing with more than 3 ingredients in it. That means nothing in a can, no frozen prepared type junk food, no breads, except wholegrains.

Ben is on another one of his diet crazes. He eats the same basic food every day. He is working on bulking up his muscles. He eats a ton and works out like a mad man. Whenever Ben makes up his mind to do something, he researches it in depth and then really works at it.

Angie, glad you and Zarrance are back. Remember all of the birthday parties you helped me with when the boys were little? I still have pictures of those and there you are, not much bigger than them at that time! Do you remember when we all went skating at the Galleria and spent the night there? I think Sean and Todd were only about 3 at the time.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Saturday, January 13, 2007 6:30 PM CST

It looks like there is really cold weather all over the country now except for you, Jama, in sunny Florida, state of my birth!

I hope all of you have laid in your groceries and have a full woodpile! Todd called this morning while on his way home from work and the actual temperature in his neck of Washington was 3 degrees with a minus 8 degree chill factor. I noticed, that in Minot, ND, where Uncle Erv and JoAnn live it was -19 for their actual temperature. It won't be that cold here, but the driving conditions are supposed to be treacherous. I talked to Jackie Webb on the phone yesterday morning and she was at the grocery store stocking up and preparing for the ice in Oklahoma.

I got out this morning and drove up to UTD to return Sean's calculus book. The weather was absolutely horrible with the hard rain coming down. I was thankful for the 4 wheel drive on the truck and the extra weight that we have with the topper and Eagle Lift on the back. I felt pretty stable driving through the high water on the sides of the road. Sean also had me go to Blockbuster to get a couple of movies.

Ben and Cheryl, and Shaya are on their way down here now. They decided that the would spend a couple of hours with us this evening and then stay home all day tomorrow. Shaya is supposed to have a sleep over at a girlfriend's house on Sunday night. We are hoping that the weather will allow it to go on, because she is really looking forward to it.

I made a Red Velvet cake for us to share this evening for Sean's birthday. Sean and I have agreed that the diet starts tomorrow! Since he doesn't really get any exercise (nor do I) we have got to begin eating healthier. I am going to try to get up to Borders tomorrow and buy Dr. Mehmet Oz's RealAge Diet Book. I also want to see if they have Sean's friend, Amanda's book in the store now. It is "The Secrets of the Models Dorm".

Stay warm and dry!!!

Thank you for caring and Thank yo for sharing!
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, January 12, 2007 7:46 PM CST

Sean was so excited reading the "Birthday Wishes" entries in the guestbook yesterday. That was so incredible to find out who so many people are that are still with us. We are once again humbled by your thoughts and prayers.

No school on Friday's, so today was great. I had numerous phone calls to make this morning trying to assure myself that Sean is eligible for Medicare this year. Of course, eligibility and participation in Medicare will just mean that Sean's benefits are reduced because they are not near as good as the coverage he has through his Dad's union, the Brotherhood of Locomotive Engineers. We are just praying that Sean will be able to get a supplemental policy once he turns 25.

Sean's future is very unstable as far as trying to figure out how we will finance his needs for the remainder of his life. I don't dwell on it often because it is something that will only make me crazy, but every now and again I have to start thinking about it and making plans for the future. For that matter, I have to start thinking about my own future without income and with no insurance. Kind of scary, but what are we going to do? I guess just continue on with faith that somehow the Lord will continue to provide for us.

We had been making plans to go up to Brian Wible's on Saturday, but I am afraid that this awful weather that is coming in has already changed our plans. Monette is going to help me make a prototype of an idea I have to try to make some money. While Sean was in Baylor rehab, back in the early stages of his recovery when he had to wear catheter bags, I had designed something to cover them. The therapists and doctors all thought that it was really cool and they encouraged me to market it. Well, it is time to get busy and do it.

Kevin starts his job January 29. He will be moving down here on the 22nd. He already has found an apartment, and although it will be some distance away, everyone has to drive somewhere when you live in Dallas. He was able to get an apartment on the ground floor so Sean will be able to go hang out with him sometimes. That will be good for Sean and good for me, for that matter. When we looked at the map, it looks like Kevin's apartment is pretty close to where Ben and Cheryl live.

Sean has an appointment on Monday with Dr. Diaz-Arristia, a neurologist who is the "Brain Guru" at The University of Texas Southwest Medical School. We have wanted to get Sean in to see him since he left Parkland, but never had any luck getting in to his office. Some "angels" intervened and he now has an appointment!

Sean had therapy today, and now we are once agian watching a very close Mavs game. The problem is that they are closely "trailing" and have been all night. The game is in the last quarter, so I am going to end this now.

Once again:

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, January 11, 2007 9:30 PM CST

Hi everyone, this is the birthday boy, Sean. I’m giving Mom a break. I appreciate all of your birthday wishes on my behalf and my twin, Todd! I decided to drop my Calculus class because my current schedule with Calculus was just too overwhelming! So I had a HUGE weight lifted off of my shoulders tonight! Mom and I have just been chill-axing tonight. After all, it is my birthday. I guess dropping the Calculus class was a present to myself!!!

Sean Carter (birthday boy)

Wednesday, January 10, 2007 8:17 PM CST

Thursday, January 11...When most of you are reading this, Sean and Todd will be 24. If you are reading this, please take a moment, no matter who you are, and sign onto the guestbook to wish them "Happy Birthday".

Sean and Todd know the stories surrounding their birth. I went into the hospital in early labor on November 23, 1982. I stayed in the hospital, except for a 24 hour Christmas reprieve, until they were delivered on January 11, 1983. I was on total bedrest, flat in the bed. I was allowed up to go to the bathroom and shower, but that was it. I had to eat lying down. The foot of my bed was raised 6 inches, so imagine the heartburn that I had! We went home, I think on January 17. Two weeks later we were back in the hospital. Sean had to have a pyloromyotomy. (Surgery to correct projecile vomiting) A week to the day later, on a Monday, Todd had to have the same surgery. For 22 years they were so identical. If they had their shirts off, the scar on their tummies looked exactly the same. During that hospital stay, they both had pneumonia. Poor Ben, celebrated his 2nd birthday in my hospital room. I was there so long the nurses had a baby shower for me. The circumstances surrounding their birth was so tough.

Never in a million years would I ever have dreamed that this would have happened to one of my three sons. Birthdays are supposed to be a cause for celebration. They still are in our house. I wish that Todd were close enough that he could share the day with us. Don't worry though, Todd, it won't be much of a day for Sean. He has class first thing in the morning and then again tomorrow night! That's the pits!

As Forest Gump said. "Life is like a bowl of chocolates. You never know what your gonna get!"

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, January 9, 2007 9:18 PM CST

Today was another busy day but I did get Sean home for a two hour nap today. He was actually able to get assignments done for his two classes yesterday. Bones, Bodies and Disease was his class today. It turns out to be a Forensic Anthropolgy class. He will study bones to determine how a person lived and how they died. It actually should be interesting.

We got really lucky with this class too because while we were waiting outside for class to start, a nice young lady introduced herself and as she talked to us she volunteered to take notes for Sean. She has already sent the notes for today and they are excellent!

I am still very concerned about the amount of reading Sean is going to have to do. We will muddle through this week and hopefully with our change in the therapy schedule, next week will prove to be a little easier.

Thursday's Sean has his Bones, Bodies and Disease class in the morning and then that evening he will be back at school from 7-9:45 p.m. to take applied Calculus. Ben is going to meet us out there and attend the class with Sean. Hopefully we will see that Sean can sit through this one on his own. I just cannot imagine having to sit through a calculus class!

Well, I will cut this off now. We will have to get ready for bed and the start of another day. I feel like a hamster must feel running in those little hamster balls.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, January 8, 2007 8:40 PM CST

I had no idea that Sean would be as tired as he is this evening. He has had such a full day. We had told BIR that Sean would only be able to do two days of therapy, but somehow the scheduler hs him down for three days this week. I told him that we would go ahead and do the three and then would cut it back going forward.

Luckily we got out of classes a little early today. We just barely had time to swing by home for a bathroom break and an extremely fast and short lunch and then we went straight to BIR.

When he got home, I helped him into bed for a nap. I let him sleep for about an hour and a half and then had to get him up for dinner. I was hoping that he would then have the energy to tackle one of his homework assignments. He made a valiant effort, but I could tell by the way he was using his arm to type, he was just not going to accomplish anything. He is exhausted.

I am really worrying now about our decision to go to school full-time, but I honestly don't know what we will do about his insurance if he does not go. The only thing I can cling to right now is that fact that this is Sean's first day and hopefully it will get better!

One thing that did make me happy is that while in his Entrepeneurship Class, the instructor told the class that by next week they would have to form into teams of 6 to work on all projects in teams. Before we even left class today, a guy came up and asked Sean to be on his team and before we left the class his entire team had been formed. I was worried about how people would choose to include him and I think I won't have to worry about him at all!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, January 7, 2007 7:35 PM CST

Sean spent at least a half an hour this morning before his shower, practicing voicing. Then this evening he stood up and once again, several times he was able to say "I Love Ma"!

I am so very privileged to be able to spend my time with him. If you could only see the blissfully happy look he gets on his face when he is able to accomplish it. The feelings that I have are much like a new mother when her baby does something new.

We both slept in this morning because it was after midnight when I got Sean into bed last night. After I got him up and he had his shower, I got cleaned up an ran out and did our grocery shopping.

Danny came down this afternoon for a Sunday visit with Sean and he brought him his birthday card. I took the opportunity to leave them alone for a visit and ran over to Farmers Market and then on to the car wash to wash the truck.

Sean and Todd will be 24, Thursday evening, January 11. Can you believe it, Sean will be in his first class of Applied Calculus that night? What a way to celebrate your birthday! Even worse, I may have to be right there beside him. That class is from 7-9:45 p.m.

Our weeks are going to start being really busy now. Sean has therapy three days this week, in addition to being in classes 4 days of the week. I am already looking forward to next weekend and this one hasn't really even started!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, January 7, 2007 8:19 AM CST

Sean did break the "word barrier" on Friday, but Saturday was a "quiet day". He slept late yesterday and is trying to do so again this morning. He got in bed after midnight last night.

Ben and Cheryl came and picked Sean upand took him to the Motocross event at the American Airlines Center yesterday evening. They had tickets to Suite belonging to the company where Ben works. Sean spelled that he felt like he was "Hi Rolling". Of course they had to take our truck. While they were in the Suite they were able to watch the Motocross event down on the floor and the Cowboys game on the television in the suite.

Shaya had been at a cheerleading event (her team took first place in their division) all day. She stayed with me and after she finished her homework, she was on the computer until Ben and Cheryl got home with Sean.

Sean tried several times to emote, "I Love Ma", but he was unable to get the air out of his lungs. I am not worried, I know that it is going to come. We had proof of that on Friday. Before Ben and Cheryl left, I stood Sean up and he manage to squeeze out the "Love" for Ben. He was so funny though, he kept laughing so hard that his whole face was a smile and he is unable to break through that hue smile to make his mouth form the words.

Sean's brain lacks the ability to "motor plan". This is the way the brain tells each muscle to work at a specific moment to create a movement or an action. That is the root of his problem. It is like the memory to form a word has been erased. He now has to recreate each specific activity and practice it so many times that it becomes imprinted on his brain again. That is what is so difficult for Sean. You can see the struggle going on within him.

So, we had a GREAT VICTORY on Friday when he said "I Love Ma", but it could still be awhile before I hear it routinely. That's ok. I had waited 1 year, 9 months and 9 days to hear it, so I can be patient until I hear it again.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing!
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, January 5, 2007 8:39 PM CST

The sun was never more beautiful than it was as Sean and I left Baylor Rehab Outpatient today. Kevin was offered a job, and for me, a day I have prayed for since March 27, 2005. I wanted to hear Sean say "Mom". Well, this afternoon, he said "I Lo(ve) Ma". It was such a powerful moment. I was holding him upright when he did it. I started crying. His speech therapist, Mendi, was crying. One of the receptionists at the front desk was crying. He was loud and you could tell that is what he was saying.

Let me share with you how it happened. Sean had been laying on the mat working on breathing exercises. I was sitting out in the waiting room. Mendi came out and got me and asked me if I could get Sean up and transfer him back to his chair because he was unable to move his mouth to work on word forming exercises. I was walking him to his chair and one of the therapy aides who worked with him as an inpatient made a funny comment to him. She said something like, "Sean I know what you need. Some pretty girls." He started doing his yell of laughter.

Mendi had never heard him phonate that louldly so she kept getting him to repeat it. I was standing in front of him with his arms up on my shoulders. She told him to say "I". He repeated it. She said "Say Love". He managed "La" with sound and the ve was just formed with his lips. He stuggled with the "Mom". "Ma" came out and then he started smiling, making it even more difficult. Then she made him say "I", "Love", "Ben" and then "I", "Love", "Todd". He managed to get them all out with a little difference in each of there names. He spelled to me this evening "It is hard to say Todd".

We have since learned that he is more able to say something when he walks because he forces air out of his throat as he steps each step. Because of all of the motor planning involved, he must struggle with each sound and mouth/lip formation. Practice, practice, practice will improve his abilities to make intelligible sounds.

What a Red Letter Day!!!!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, January 4, 2007 9:26 PM CST

Sean, Kevin and I are watching the Mavs game. Bob has run out to the grocey store to load up on "camp food" for this, the last weekend of deer season.

Kevin's couin, Kristen, arrived with him this afternoon and visited for a couple of hours. They both took a turn on Lucky. We all were laughing at Kristen because she didn't really like it and made Kevin turn it off so that she could dismount.

We started out early this morning, getting up and getting ready to go to Dr. Oxford's office. He is the ENT who last "scoped" Sean. We were lucky because the rain had ended and it was quite a pretty morning,just a little on the cool side. Dr. Oxford looked down Sean's throat with the scope again and said that the scar tissue is still unchanged. He does not think that it is interfering with Sean's ability to phonate, but said he would not know until he actually went in and did the surgery to remove it. It would just be a day procedure, so Sean has decided that once he has gotten into the swing of things, being back at school, he will have it removed. I am going to ask about having Sean's trach incision repaired as well. Sean does not like the way his neck looks. One thing about the Parkland surgeons, they were only concerned about getting the job done. They did not really think about how their incisions looked cosmetically.

Dr. Oxford's office is in the Landry Center. As we were leavig we noticed a little "Frulotti" Bistro in there, so we went in and had lunch. I am glad to have found it so close to our home, too. I like their sandwiches and salads, not to mention their "Frulotti" drink. It is nice to know that it is close enough to run too for lunch.

When we left Dr. Oxford's office, we went over to our PCP's office to get our flu shots. I was determined that Sean have his in time to be inocculted before he started school again on Monday. Now we should both be safe from the flu.

Please say an extra prayer for Kevin, that he is able to find a job down here.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, January 3, 2007 8:06 PM CST

Can you imagine, knowing everything that you need to do to speak, and not being able to get your brain to tell your body to "breathe in, breathe out", move your mouth like this and your tongue like that? I sat in on Sean's speech therapy session today and watched as his frusteration grew as he tried and tried to do exactly what Mendi, his ST, was asking him to do. The only good thing was that even though he expressed his frusteration and even though you could tell that he was, Sean kept working and working to do what she asked.

As he did, his entire body would tense up (his tone would kick in and the spasticity would increase). She had him reclining back in his chair because it seems that his tone is not as great like that, yet he could not break through.

One problem that he does have, and don't you wish we all did? Sometimes the problem is that Sean cannot quit smiling long enough to form his mouth the way Mendi would ask. We have lived with the mystery and tyranny of this brain injury for 21 months. How can it be that Sean is so aware of everything, even the reason for his inability to speak, yet he is unable to change it at this point.

I am not depressed, nor is Sean. This is just something that he continues to deal with, daily.

His ST wanted him to get scoped again to check on the scar tissue below his larynx. We were lucky. I called this afternoon and was able to make an appointment for Sean Thursday morning. It is supposed to be pouring down raining, but I think I can remember an overhang at this building, so hopefully we will arrive for the appointment Dry!

Sean rode his iGallop "Lucky" today. Yes, I have ridden it as well. I must say, it is quite the ride! I know that Sean's friends will enjoy it when they visit.

Kevin will be here Thursday evening. We are all looking forward to sharing the evening with him. He will stay with us and then head up for his interview and then home to Ft. Gibson on Friday.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, January 2, 2007 8:50 PM CST

Sean and I went to Northpark today. We wound up buying a piece of equipment called the "iGallop". You straddle it like a horse and it moves just as if it were a horse. It has 3 different gaits in addition to a random one as well. Sean had gotten money from his Dad and Grandparents for Christmas, so he used that money plus more and we brought "Lucky" home with us.

Sean has ridden it twice today, plus the few minutes that he tried it out in Brookstone. He told me that it makes him "Happy"! That alone would make this device worthwhile, but we both feel that it may help make his torso stronger. It claims to tone the core and abs. Believe me, it mimics a horse well. Although it won't replace Dixie, we can jump on this anytime during the day and we don't have to feed and water it, nor clean up the poop either!

Bob even got on it this evening and he said that he could see where it will help Sean's body and his balance.

We all feel that Lucky will definitely augment Sean's therapy sessions.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, January 1, 2007 5:48 PM CST

This one needs to be shared with everyone. It is our wish for you.

After serious & cautious consideration.....your contract of friendship has been renewed for the New Year 2007!

It was a very hard decision to make. So try not to screw it up!!!
Our Wish for You in 2007

May peace break into your house and may thieves come to steal your debts. May the pockets of your jeans become a magnet of $200 bills. May love stick to your face like Vaseline and may laughter assault your lips! May your clothes smell of success like smoking tires and may happiness slap you across the face and may your tears be that of joy. May the problems you had forget your home address!
In simple words............

May 2007 be the best year of your life!!!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, December 31, 2006 8:26 PM CST

New Year’s Eve 2006, or do you say this is NYE 2007? No, it is still 2006. Wow, Sean has made such huge strides of progress this past year. Last year this time we were getting ready to bring him home in January. Now we are upon that one year mark of his being back home. Last year I could not even imagine how I was going to be able to get him out of bed by myself or how I was ever going to be able to do his shower, just Sean and I.

What huge accomplishments we have made. Of course we have up and down moments. I am so happy to be able to report that they are mostly up moments. We have very few doldrums anymore. Sean has already decided that 2007 was going to be a “Great Year”. Who am I to decide that it won’t be so? I know with all my heart that it will continue to get better and better for Sean. I feel so privileged to be along for the journey!

Sean was doing some research about his TBI today. It has really been a long time since I shared any detail about his brain injury with you.

This is taken from Wikipedia.org

Diffuse axonal injury (DAI) is one of the most common and devastating types of brain injury (Iwata et al., 2004), occurring in almost half of all cases of severe head trauma (Park and Hyun, 2004). It is a type of diffuse brain injury, meaning that damage occurs over a more widespread area than in focal brain injury. DAI, which refers to extensive lesions in white matter tracts, is one of the major causes of unconsciousness and persistent vegetative state after head trauma (Wasserman, 2004).

Though diffuse axonal injury seldom leads to death, the outcome is frequently coma with over 90% of patients with severe DAI never regaining consciousness (Wasserman, 2004). Those that do wake up often remain significantly impaired (Vinas and Pilistis, 2004).

Sean has acknowledged that he is already a miracle. Only 10 percent of DAI patients actually regain consciousness. And look at how conscious he is! We have so much for which to be thankful.

I have also talked to other victim’s family members who say that their patient’s accident tore their family apart. Sean, Todd, Ben and I have never been closer. Again, We have so much for which to be thankful.

Kevin’s cousin, Kristen, breezed in for a short visit this afternoon with her girlfriend, Suzanne. They were so excited about their upcoming New Year’s Eve celebration plans in the “Big City” of Dallas. We hope they stay safe and that they have a good time.

Sean, Bob and I are parked again in front of another Maverick’s game. We are hoping that they beat the Denver Nuggets tonight.

We hope all of you are reminiscing about happy 2006 memories and we hope that you to are looking forward to an even better 2007.

Jama,do you remember? Our surprise visit from you was December 30, 2005.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Saturday, December 30, 2006 8:39 PM CST

We had such a nice visit today. Sean and I stopped at Jimmy's Italian Grocery and got a pan of homemade lasagna and took it with us for lunch. Then we just popped it in the oven, made some garlic and olive oil toast and a salad, and we had a nice meal with no fuss!

Justin, Jessica and Haylee were stuck in New Mexico because of the dangerous winter driving conditions. We called them an 4 year old Haylee gave us a full report of going to Colorado and going to the top of the mountain. She then said they left and came to this big building in New Mexico and they were going to have to stay there "Forever!"

Actually, they were on their way home and the Highway Patrol made them stop in Springer, NM, a town about half the size of Whitesboro. They spent the night in the school gymnasium on cots with about 200 other stranded motorists. It started snowing again today so they are stuck there for at least another night. Hopefully the weather will break and the roads will thaw tomorrow and they can head for home. They are only about 90 miles from Texline, but the roads are impassable, so there they sit.

We are now at home. Sean and Bob are parked in front of the Mavericks game.

We hope all of you are having a wonderful New Year's Weekend!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for Sharing! You too, Chad!
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, December 29, 2006 8:20 PM CST

Even though Kori was in the middle of moving the week before Christmas, she made her annual Christmas cookies and mailed them to us. When they arrived, there was this goofy hat that Todd had found for his brother. He found it at Disneyland with Kori, Joey and her family. Oh by the way, her cookies are wonderful!

The weather has been awful, from Central Texas, north, all day today. We have had severe thunderstorms that even spawned tornadoes. The weather is supposed to continue throughout the night. It may be the reason that Bob has decided not to go hunting this weekend. He is going to work tomorrow and then do errands for his Mom. He will also spend New Year's Eve here with Sean, Shaya and I.

Sean and I will get up tomorrow, have showers and then drive up to Whitesboro to spend the day with Lois and Ron, Sharon and Tony. We are looking forward to the little trip and the visit. Sean has been at home most of the week. I need to get him out before he gets cabin fever. Hopefully by the time we leave the rains will have passed.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, December 28, 2006 8:19 PM CST

Sean is doing well at BIR in his new therapy sessions, but he really does not have a lot of time there. We are going to have to start actually creating timeslots in our day that is "therapy time" so that he and I both know that is what we are going to do at a specific time.

I was so excited today because he actually was able to press his lips together and push out a sound that certainly sounded like "Ma"! It is very difficult and he was only able to do it a couple of times, but I definitely heard it and could tell that is what it was.

He is so funny, because it is often difficult for him to make a sound because his facial muscles are so busy smiling! Wouldn't that be something if we all had that problem?

Today Sean was able to lay on his back and with Chad, his PT, pressing against his raised knees and me preventing his shoulders from sliding, he was able to "bridge" his pelvis. That is requiring a lot of abdominal and quadricep muscle work which are very weak right now. It is exciting each time he accomplishes anything new and that is definitely new.

In addition, his OT is having him lie on his back and work on raising his right arm. She places a bar that weighs 5 pounds in his hands and then he is supposed to bench press it. His left arm pushes up easily, but the right one kind of hangs on and is pulled up. The thing is that the right arm is beginning to move a little more now. It is much easier when he is laying on his back. Part of the reason for this is that his "tone" or spasticity kicks in when he is sitting upright, so he has to try to move through that and it just makes his movement that much more difficult.

Through any hardship, though, and of course with each triumph, that smile just lights up his face. It also lights up the faces of those who look at him. The reflection of his smile is on the faces of all he is around.

Thank you for sharing and Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, December 27, 2006 7:52 PM CST

Sean had therapy this afternoon. It is amazing how happy it makes him to just get out of the apartment for awhile. Well, I don't guess it is that amazing. Everyone likes to get out for a little while.

His Dad and Aunt Linda came down to see him for a little while this evening. Aunt Linda will drive back home to Tulsa on Friday, and she wanted an opportunity to see her nephew again before she left.

Sean will have therapy again tomorrow late afternoon. I may bake a cake to take to his therapists. Cheryl and Ben gave me a Kitchen Aid Mixer for Christmas and I need to give it a test run. Since Sean and I don't need the calories, I will make the cake and give it away.

Saturday we have plans to drive up to Whitesboro to spend the afternoon with Lois and Ron Richardson as well as Sharon and Tony Roberts. We are excited to be taking a day trip for the weekend. We think that Shaya may spend New Years Eve with us while Ben and Cheryl go out for the evening. According to Jackie in her guestbook entry and Kevin in a text message to Sean, Susie Mounts daughter, Kristen, and a couple of her girlfriends will be coming by Sunday afternoon. Bob will be hunting again. He only has two more weekends and then deer season will be over for this year.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, December 26, 2006 8:33 PM CST

It is important for everyone to hear the words of my beautiful boy. Although still imprisoned by his body, he used his Rolltalk to tell me:

"I have always heard that "7" is a lucky number. I am going to take that to mean that 2007 will be a GREAT Year!" I was also talking to him about how sorry I was that I could not think of a really special gift for him, and he spelled to me, "The things I really want, you cannot give me; walking and talking. Instead I am just happy that I spend my days and nights with you, My Mom."

No matter how bad your life may feel at times, there is always someone whose life may be worse. Even Sean knows that. And even Sean wishes for more than what he has right now. The difference is that he does not wish for material things.

Thank you for sharing and Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, December 25, 2006 9:35 PM CST

Thank you for all of the Christmas messages posted today. Lois, you are right. Christmas is a special day to commemorate the birth of Christ. We hope all of you had a moment to reflect on the moment as you enjoyed your own holiday celebration.

Sean and I managed to get out for a little while yesterday morning. We did the Boston Market thing again so we also ran by and picked that up. Ben, Cheryl, Calem and Shaya arrived at our place in mid afternoon, Christmas Eve. It had been a rainy, but not too awful cold day. They had to go out and try to get a couple more gifts before the stores closed, so the kids stayed with Sean and I.

As you saw from the pictures, Cheryl cut and highlighted Sean’s hair, Christmas Eve. He was going to try to grow his hair for “Locks of Love”, an organization that collects hair to create wigs for children under 18 who develop hair loss. Unfortunately it was getting to the point that he just couldn’t stand it growing. It was always in his face and his hands don’t work well enough to brush it out of his face. We tried keeping gel on it, but it would still get messed up and then be all over the place again. He even graduated to wearing his ball cap again, but it was just becoming such a nuisance that we gave up. Cheryl is so sweet for doing this for him.

Bob got in from hunting during the middle of hair dressing session, so he had a few things to tease Sean about.

Ben and his family spent the night so that we could all enjoy Christmas morning with Shaya and Calem. It turned out to be wonderful for all of us. There is something special about having young ones around to share Christmas. It was bittersweet when they left this evening, because Ben and Cheryl drive up to Kansas tomorrow to meet Calem’s Dad. He will now spend the next three months with him in Fort Madison, Iowa. I know that Cheryl is going to really miss her little boy, but it amazed me to watch Ben because I could tell that he was really going to miss him as well. I can see that Ben loves his little family.

I “walked” Sean twice today to get him out of his chair. More of his PT will now fall on me because he just is not getting the same degree he has for the past 20 months. I hope that he does not lose ground. He has come so far since those days of just lying in the ICU in Parkland Hospital. We are so blessed to have him.

Thank you all for caring and especially for sharing,
Sean’s MoM, Jenny Carter

Saturday, December 23, 2006 9:43 PM CST

Sean had two groups of visitors today. His Denison family: Danny (his Dad), Aunt Linda, Nanny and PaPaw, and cousin Gary Morgan from Waco, came this morning. Cousin Gary gave Sean an "F35" ball cap. Gary used to work for Lockheed-Martin, and the jet is the new fighter jet that will replace many of the current planes used by the military. We had just watched news stories last week of that jet going through test flights. Sean was excited to receive money from his Dad and Grandparents. We are planning a trip to Frye's Electronics next week so that he can see if there is something he might want.

This evening, Brian Wible, Casey Carras, Lam Pham and Phuc Pham, dropped in to spend time with Sean. Brian had brought Sean a gift of a couple of goofy "expression shirts". The guys are sitting around watching the High School State Football Finals, Austin Westlake and Southlake-Carroll (from the Dallas Metroplex), laughing and cutting up in the Living Room and I was in Sean's room wrapping up Christmas.

I ended up leaving Sean at home by himself for a little while this afternoon and finally got his Christmas present. He had wanted to get out and then when he thought about the crowds he decided that he was better off at home.

We want to wish everyone a Very Merry Christmas. I will take a break Christmas Eve so that I can focus on our family and will write again Christmas Night. We hope that all of you are blessed with Family, Friends, Love and good Health this Christmas.

Our prayer tonight will be for all of the men and women stationed around the world who are at this moment protecting our freedom to celebrate this season as we choose. My mother's heart goes out to them and their parents sitting, perhaps in loneliness, right now wondering what their child is doing. They are probably wishing they were home. Our prayer is for their safety and their return home.

We thank you for your Christmas wishes and your thoughtfulness throughout the year. Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, December 22, 2006 9:24 PM CST

Sean and I are again watching the Mavs play this evening. It looks like this will be another win for them.

Sean told me that he was bored today so we went over to Whole Earth Provisions. It is kind of a camping, hiking, outdoor store. Unfotunately it was so packed with merchandise, Sean couldn't really look around. He decided he would be happy with a Frappacino from Starbucks, so we headed home and stopped at one on the way.

Bob has gone hunting until Christmas Eve, so Sean and I are on our own. I have spent the evening mopping floors. It is amazing how much stress lifts off me when I finally get something like that done.

Sean's Nanny and PaPaw, his Aunt Linda, his Dad and "Cousin Gary" are all coming down tomorrow morning for a Christmas visit with Sean. I am hoping to run out and get Sean's present from Bob and I while his Denison family is here.

Ben, Cheryl, Shaya and Calem will be here sometime Christmas Eve until Christmas Evening. Sean is really looking forward to the company.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, December 21, 2006 8:45 PM CST

I finally feel as though I accomplished something today! Sean and I planned to stay home all day so that I could clean. Except for running to Blockbuster to get a movie that Sean wanted, I did just that.

Sean and I spent time while I stretched him as he lay in his bed this morning before I got him up. Do you know how you lay on your back and you roll your back up and try to touch your nose with your knees? Well, that is what Sean and I are working on. This will help him get his back stretched. It is extremely hard on me because I have to pull his legs up off the bed and then get my arms behind his knees and I pull him over and stretch, stretch, stretch. I know that it is good for him though. His Hippotherapist, Lisa told me that we have really got to work to mobilize his back.

We watched one of the movies this afternoon while I worked around the living room and kitchen and now we are watching "Lady in the Water".

I have updated the pictures so that I could share the beautiful shelf that Bob and his employee made me for Christmas. It is so beautiful. He made it to put on the table that we use for the computer so that I would have somewhere to stack things. It is far prettier than I even imagined it would be.

Our Christmas tree is a "Mardi Gras" tree, decorated with things that I had gathered in New Orleans from past visits. I just think it is so beautiful. I love to just sit on the couch and stare at the sparkling lights and the little jester heads and all of the glittering beads.

Christmas is almost here!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, December 20, 2006 10:15 PM CST

Today was one of those days when I got absolutely NOTHING done and it has really frustrated me. I got Sean into the shower this morning and for some reason it seemed like it all took longer than usual. Part of it could have been that we spent a lot of time kidding around. When Sean wants to talk back to me and he is not able to use his Rolltalk, I have to hold the alphabet board. That means my hands are tied up and my eyes are tied up reading so that is all that gets done.

As soon as I got him up and totally ready for the day (after an hour and a half), he rolled out to the Living Room. I had just sat down to the computer for a moment and he accidently spilled something really sticky all over himself. It was all over his pants, his shirt, his wheelchair cushion and the floor. We sat there looking at each other and I was trying to figure out how I could get everything cleaned up and Sean cleaned and his clothes changed the easiest way possible. We finally decided that the only way was to get him back into the shower. So that is exactly what we did. So today my Beautiful Boy is doubly clean!

We finally finished showering today and then it was time to eat lunch and we had to leave for BIR for Sean's therapy. I was on a mission to find those last two little gifts, so I dropped Sean off and headed over to Olde Towne, at Lovers Lane and Greenville Ave. Traffic was absolutely horrendous. How could everyone want to go the same place I was going? When parking lots are crowded it is really difficult finding a place to park our big old truck. Finally, I found a parking spot and manuevered in. I reached in the back seat and reached for my purse when I realized that I did not have my billfold!!!

So it was back to BIR for me, without my two gifts. I had every intention of getting home this afternoon after I picked Sean up and getting the apartment cleaned tonight for Christmas weekend. That didn't work out because Danny came down to see Sean!

Danny visited with Sean for a while, then Bob got in and the we ate dinner. Danny bid Sean goodbye and I finally started wrapping packages. It is now 10:30, the packages are not finished and it is really time for me to get Sean into bed. We are both disappointedly watching the Mavs play Seattle. Dirk Nowitski just left the game with an ankle injury, so we are not feeling good about this game at all.

Hopefully tomorrow will be a little more productive!

Jackie, Sean hates the job in Ft. Wayne didn't work out for Kevin, but he is excited thinking that might put Kevin closer to Dallas!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, December 19, 2006 8:41 PM CST

Sean had to have his Baclofen Pump refilled today. His appointment was at 9:30 this morning. Sean enjoys seeing Dr. Thomas. They laugh and cut up the entire time that he is doing the procedure. We asked him to increase the dosage by 20% to try once more to alleviate the "tone" or spasticity that Sean has in his right leg.

Sean has decided that he just wants to have therapy two days a week. He is worried about overloading himself between therapy and school, and I think this is the wisest thing for him.

After his appointment we decided to go out to Northpark Center. It was a bleak rainy day today so we had to go somewhere with a parking garage. Sean had a mission that he wanted to accomplish, as I did, but his always takes precedence. He tried really hard to be patient and let me look a little. I have a couple of more gifts I would like to get. He bought Todd's birthday present while there. We want to get it in the mail right after Christmas so that it will arrive in Pasco before their birthday. Soon after that he started wearing down and he had something else he wanted me to get at Best Buy so we left.

Sean was sweet enough to let me run into Tuesday Morning for a few minutes after I ran into Best Buy for him. Unfortunately they didn't have what anything that I thought would fit my list.

We got home and I settled Sean in at the computer and then ran to Target hoping to have some luck. My day continued as it had earlier, no luck, so I came home and cooked dinner.

This afternoon while Sean and I were at Northpark, eating lunch in the food court, I sat and looked at him and thought about what a remarkable person he is. He does not allow himself to feel a loss of dignity as sometimes he has to submit to me feeding him because the food that he chooses turns out to be unmanagable for him. He continues to smile, and we laugh and I talk to him and he does his best to hold up his end of the conversation through hand or facial gestures. We always have such a good time together. He makes each day that we spend together worth everything!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, December 18, 2006 8:47 PM CST

Sean started at Baylor Institute of Rehabilitation as an outpatient today. He had his initial evaluations from his new Physical, Occupational and Speech therapists. I was really impressed with all three of them. This will be the first time that Sean has a male PT, Chad.

Sean and I enjoyed the beautiful afternoon and walked over to BIR. As Sean rolled through the doors he told me that he was back at his "second home". He was so happy to see everyone and they all greeted him warmly. After he finished with his evaluations we went upstairs to visit his therapists from Day Neuro. They were in the middle of a meeting, but each of them took a few minutes to come over and talk to him for a few minutes.

We almost skipped home. Imagine after the past four months of often times more than an hour to get home after therapy we were walking home! And we were able to get here within 15 minutes.

As we were walking home, Todd called to give us an update on the big move into his new house. He and Kori are so excited. After several months of living in the guest house at the Hops Farm, they will finally have their very own home. They are moving to Pasco, Washington, one of the "Tri-cities" in the southeast corner of Washington State.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, December 17, 2006 7:37 PM CST

We had a wonderful time in Ft. Gibson. It was so exciting to see Kevin take another walk into his future as he went across the stage. I would not let myself think about "If only". As Sean always reminds me, "It's all water under the bridge. This is my life now." So instead of that, we reveled in the friendship that Sean and Kevin share and the happiness that Kevin has because of the fulfillment of the commitment he made to himself to get his education.

I won't even begin to tell you how difficult it was to get all the way across Dallas from Colleyville over to Hwy 75 on Friday. Suffice it to say, we are here at home now to tell the story so we did make it!

Kevin's graduation ceremony was at 9 a.m. which was nice because we were all able to be back at his Mom, Jackie's by about 11. They had a big barbecue spread and Sean and I had our first opportunity to sample barbecued bologna! I had never heard of it but apparently it is an Okie favorite. We were adventurous and it turned out being not half bad! Ok, I have never been a bologna fan so my preference was the b-b-q beef.

One of the really nice things about attending Kevin’s graduation celebration was that we were able to meet a lot of the family and friends who also share part of Kevin’s life. In the early evening, Kevin and his friends left to enjoy an evening of celebration. We all knew that Kevin was torn leaving Sean behind, and Sean was sad to see them leave, however, he told Jackie and I that he is okay with it. This is his life now.

Sean really feels the day will come when he will be able to go out again. He expects to walk and talk and enjoy an evening socializing with his friends. However, he also has said that he can never drink again. He knows that alcohol could cause him to have a seizure and that he has been blessed to never have one. It would make no sense at all to do something that would possibly trigger one.

We wanted to stay and go to church with Kevin and his family, but we knew that we would feel better at the end of the day if we drove on home. We left Ft. Gibson about 9 this morning. Sean was able to take a nap this afternoon and then he had a shower. I feel far more relaxed than I would have had we gotten in this evening.

Sean and I both know that no matter what the future holds, or where Kevin ends up getting a job, they will always be there for each other. Friendship is the greatest gift that anyone could give to Sean at this time. Kevin certainly has given that to Sean. We love you Kevin and we are so proud to have shared your weekend with you!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean’s MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, December 14, 2006 6:46 PM CST

I spent about an hour out shopping this morning and got Ben's gift, and a couple of little things for Calem and Shaya. I have just a few things left to get now. Christmas is just a little over a week away.

We went to HEB PT today and Sean actually walked on the treadmill with the help of the Unloader and Marty! He didn't go far, but he did a great job. Unfortunately I did not have my camera with me so I got no pictures. In fact, I had gone out into the waiting room because there are times that I think it helps if I am not around. I could hear Sean laughing and "whooping". When I went back in, Marty told me it was because he was walking and he was excited.

Well, just our sleep tonight and I have to get up early to get everything loaded into the truck for our trip up to see Kevin and the Webb clan. We are so excited!! The only little "blip" on the horizon will be getting across North Texas during Friday afternoon rush hour. Oh well, I have learned that you just have to sit back and be patient. Eventually, we will get through the worst of it and then be on our way. Sean has already informed me that we will have to stop every hour so that he can get out and stretch. I won't take his chair out, I will just spin his seat out and lower it and then let him stand for a few minutes. We will then be off again.

We are both tired tonight so we are going to try to get in bed early tonight. Bob is going hunting tomorrow, so he will be turning in early tonight too.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, December 13, 2006 10:08 PM CST

What a really nice day we had today. Sean and I met Timothy Moreland and his Mom for lunch today. Timothy is Sean's friend who he met and shared classes with in the TRI program at Richland. Tim is his friend who just underwent brain surgery to try to alleviate his seizures. Tim is 20 years old. When he was 17 he was driving his car over to his girlfriends' house when he fell asleep at the wheel and had his auto accident. Timothy has suffered serious short term memory loss that has been worsened by the number of seizures that he has had ongoing since his accident. He underwent surgery November 21, with hopes that his seizure activity would cease. Since then he has had several more seizures but the doctors say that it is too early to tell. He still could begin to be seizure free.

After lunch, the four of us met up again at Firewheel Mall. The guys went to the show and Phyllis and I enjoyed a couple of hours wandering around. I was so excited because I was able to find Cheryl's present and part of Shaya's. I enjoyed the "gal" time and not having to worry about Sean for a couple of hours. I know that Sean enjoyed a couple of hours away from "MoM" as well.

We are now at home watching the Mavs play the Lakers. So far in the 3rd quarter we are ahead. Hopefully the game will wind up finishing the same way.

We just have 2 more sleeps and then we will be on our way to Ft. Gibson to Kevin's Mom and her husband Kent's home. We are both so excited. Tomorrow will be a busy day as I will have to get everything together and ready to pack into the truck Friday morning. We go to HEB Physical Therapy so that Sean can have PT with Marty Stajduhar tomorrow. Friday we will go to Hippotherapy for Sean's last session and then we head straight out to Oklahoma from there.

Thank you all for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, December 12, 2006 8:16 PM CST

Todd, Kori and Joey returned from Disneyland Sunday. I just received an e-mail that Kori's Mom wrote about an experience they had while there. Sean and I want to share it with you. We both think that it is important enough for all of you to read. It is the kind of thing that gets passed around in an e-mail, but we both think that it will reach more people if we just post it here.

Here are her words:

">
>
>After spending a wonderful American dream, taking 3 of our 4 children and
>their husbands, not to mention 3 grandkids to our favorite American Tourist
>attraction, Disneyland. We had a great time watching our children and
>grandchildren enjoy everything Disneyland had to offer, from the rides to
>all the goodies they ate. We also had the proud heart to watch as our
>son-in-law and daughter participated in the "retiring of the American Flag"
>ceremony that was held at Disneyland. Our Daughter and Son-in-law served
>proudly in the United States Air Force. We have one Son who could not be
>with us on our family trip; he is also serving in the United States Air
>Force, and is on deployment in Saudi Arabia. Prior to Disneyland, our
>Daughter had made a banner letting our Son know that we missed him, our
>idea was to take a photo while on vacation to let our Son know that we are
>proud
>of him and wish he could have joined us. We did just that and couldn't wait
>to send it to him.
>
>On our last day, our family decided to shop at Downtown Disney to pick up
>gifts for Christmas and for the people who were taking care of our house
>while we were away. My Husband and I did some shopping on our own, and were
>separated from the rest of the family. So, with tired feet we decided to
>catch a cab back to our hotel. We were directed to the front of the
>Disneyland Hotel, where we waited patiently for our cab.
>
>Our cabbie, on the way out asked us which hotel, then stopped to chat with
>another cabbie that was coming into the Disneyland Hotel. After a short
>visit we were on our way. The Cabbie made the comment that the man he was
>talking to was a very nice man from "Iran". My husband didnâ€™t clearly
>understand the Cabbie and asked our Cabbie again where was his friend was
>from? He said loudly "Iran"; he then asked us if we were staying longer, we
>told the cabbie it was our last day. He asked if we needed a ride to the
>airport, at which we explained that we had a large group, and would require
>a shuttle. The Cabbie then explained that he was from Saudi Arabia, I then
>told him that our "Son" was in Saudi, and the cabbie asked what our Son was
>there for? I told him proudly that he was in the United States Air Force.
>
>Without hesitation the cabbie said "your son will die" and exclaimed that
>they (he) have a deep hate for the American Serviceman, that we are killing
>hundreds of innocent people and that he was proud of his religion, he was a
>Muslim and he had his right to tell us that what we are doing is wrong that
>he hates the American people. My husband then asked him â€œwhat about
>9/11?â€ the cabbie replied, â€œ Who cares about 9/11.It is all American
>propaganda.â€ My husband told him o go home if he hated America so much,
>and that we are â€œProud to be Americans, BORN & RAISED! And proud of our
>Freedom!!!â€
>
>What he said to us about our Son was wrong, my husband also told him that
>it took a lot of balls to talk that way to any American or us on American
>soil! The cabbie explained on and on about his views, which if the car
>wasn't in motion we would have gotten out! We in no way enticed this cabbie
>to blow his views- He just went off on us after we had mentioned our
>involvement in the Air Force.
>
>It was all I could do to keep my husband from going over the seat to kick
>the sand out of this American hating cabbie. We are a growing military
>family with 8 of our family members currently enlisted or veterans in one
>of our armed forces.
>
>We hope that the next time an American hales a cab, check out the
>nationality of the driver and ask them before you get in if they are proud
>to work and live in America? . You may be giving your hard earned American
>money to someone who has a deep hate for Americans! Especially for our
>American Servicemen and Women!
>
>
>
>All we want to accomplish in sending this email is to inform those who are
>proud to be Americans that this is how we are being treated on our own
>turf! We are from a small American community with a lot of military
>families.
>
> If you have a story similar to ours please attach it to this email and
>keep it going, email it to every PROUD AMERICAN you know!!!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, December 11, 2006 8:57 PM CST

Sean slept in this morning. In fact, I went in and woke him up at 9:15. I don't want him to get in the habit of sleeping late while we have this Christmas break because his mornings will start early once he starts at UTD next semester.

Once we got up and about we dropped lunch off at the shop for Bob and then drove over to the newest Bass Pro Shop in Garland. It is located right on the banks of Lake Ray Hubbard and actually looks out over the water. Although it is not as big as the Grapevine Mills location, it seemed to have just as big a merchandise selection. We bought a few things for Bob's Christmas and enjoyed lunch in the restaurant there.

Afterwards we stopped by this little shop to get Todd and Kori's present. I will mail it tomorrow along with another package that I have to mail.

Sean and I really enjoyed the weather today, as I am sure all of our North Texas readers did. It is supposed to be nice all week which will be great for Sean's last two Hippotherapy Sessions. We are counting down the days until our visit to Ft. Gibson this weekend. We are looking forward to seeing Kevin and all of his family as well as my getting to meet "Aunt Susie".

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, December 10, 2006 7:03 PM CST

It has been 623 days since Sean's accident. How do I continue to write on this website each day to make it interesting for those of you who log on? Sean's steps are sometimes infinetismal, but they have definitely accumulated into BIG steps. We want more, though. Each night when I am tucking Sean in for the night we pray that he will walk and talk again. We are confident that it is going to happen. Unfortunately it is on God's timeline not ours.

Ben, Cheryl, and Calem came over this afternoon. Shaya had to be at Texas Stadium at noon and the game didn't even start until 7:15 so they have had a lot of time to kill. The parents of the girls have to pick them up as soon as half time is over so they won't even get a chance to watch to see if they can see her. Cheryl is not even sure if that portion of the half time show will be televised. We are tuned in, though, so hopefully we will catch a glimpse of her.

Todd, Kori and Joey are now flying home from Disneyland. Todd said that they had a lot of fun. He called last night and they were waiting for the nightly parade to start. Their month of December will fly now. Todd returns to work Monday evening. They close on their house on the 15th and then they will start moving in. Kori wants to decorate for Christmas, and you know how guys are, Todd doesn't understand because of all the work that they will have to do. But I told him that I can remember my first Christmas when Danny and I bought the house on S. Fairbanks. It is a huge deal for a Mom, Christmas in your first house. I know that when the time comes, he will be as excited as she is about it. Todd is just that way. After the tiniest bit of prodding, he puts his whole heart into it.

We hope that all of you have had a good weekend. Sean and I will try to do some Christmas shopping this week. We are excited about the opportunity to have a little free time in the day. BIR therapy will start on the 18th, and then we should have a lot of time for a couple of weeks. No driving! We won't know how to act.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Saturday, December 9, 2006 8:35 PM CST

I did wake up headache free this morning. It felt so good to go through the day without one. I got Sean up for the day and left him at the computer and ran up to Macy's to see if I could find any Christmas presents. I have this thing though. I don't buy my presents until the last few days before Christmas, so while there, I couldn't bring myself to buy anything. From there, I stopped off at the grocery store and came home to find Sean on the computer.

This evening we went to the Hyatt Regency to work the door of the Pasta Dinner for the Wellstone Whiterock Marathon that takes place tomorrow. Sean and I took tickets, along with another one of my former running buddies. Sean enjoyed getting out for a little while, even though I thought it was freezing running from the parking lot up to the hotel.

We are now camped out back at home in front of the Mavericks game. It looks as though this one will be "in the bag" for them.

Sean and I may go down to the corner and cheer the runners on as they pass our apartments. We are at about mile 23-24 here and I remember when I did it in 2004, you really appreciate smiling faces encouraging you to keep on trucking!

Shaya cheers during half time of the Cowboys game tomorrow, so we have to be sure and watch that. I think there are a big group of cheerleaders so we probably won't be able to spot her, but we will be watching just in case the camera catches her. She will be one of the tiniest in green, white and navy blue. She is a "flyer" so that will help a little when we are looking at the field full of cheerleaders.

Todd called from Disney Land this evening. They were waiting for the parade to start. This is their last day there, they all fly home tomorrow. He said that Joey has had a wonderful time. Hopefully they have taken a lot of pictures.

Thank you for sharing and Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, December 8, 2006 7:02 PM CST

I woke up with the same horrible headache that I went to bed with, but still managed to give Sean his shower this morning. We also went to Hippotherapy this afternoon.

Since the weather was so very cold, Lisa decided to work with Sean in her clinic so that he would not be out in it. We all agreed that his spasticity would be so intense from the temperature that he would gain nothing from trying to ride. Lisa and Crystal worked on stretching Sean and then Lisa had him do trunk mobility exercises. He still does not quite know where his midline is when he is sitting. Lisa says that it is coming and these exercises will help him. She gave him some "homework" assignments to do in his chair over the weekend to help him. He is so very stiff in his lower back and she wants him to really concentrate on stretching those muscles in his lower back.

We normally always stop in Colleyville to get gas and then I buy Sean apple slices to eat on his way home. I felt so bad though, that we just came straight home hoping trying to beat some of the Friday rush hour. We swung through "The Alligator" and brought our dinner home, crawfish enchilidas.

Eryn called this afternoon. She is going to start giving testamonial's at DWI educational meetings. She attended a meeting last night and listened to three people whose lives have been destroyed by drunk drivers. She is hoping that no one else will have to suffer as Sean and all of us have because of a person being behind the wheel with too much to drink.

Danny called late this afternoon wanting to come down to see Sean this evening. I felt bad about it, but I just had to tell him that I felt so bad another day would be better.

We are now in for the night. Bob has just gotten home. I will finish this and get on the couch with my knitting and my blanket and chill-ax for the evening and hope that this horrendous headache will go away.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, December 7, 2006 7:46 PM CST

Our trip to Ft. Gibson for Kevin's graduation will be next Friday, December 15. I think last night's entry might have made it sound like tomorrow. We have another week to look forward to it.

Sean's last day at Richland was today. It was another bittersweet day. He was so happy to have this chapter close, but he had also shared the past four months among other survivors. As each chapter of his new life closes and the next one opens there is apprehension in the unknown, sadness for the familiarity of what has just passed and excitement because it is one more step down this road of life.

I don't think that I have shared with you our latest update on Sean's friend Timothy. I spoke with his Mom on Wednesday. She said that he does not seem to be doing well. He had 3 seizures over the weekend and she said he just seems so depressed. She thinks that part of the depression is because she has had to go back to work and he is having to stay home. He does have a neighbor who is checking in on him, but he is housebound while she is working. These recent seizures make them feel that the surgery did not benefit him. We are so sad for Timothy. He is such a nice young man.

Sean and I were talking about it last night and Sean spelled to me, "Even though I can't walk, I am so happy I am like I am." Neither one of us can imagine the pain that a survivor has who knows that he has difficulty remembering day to day things.

After this morning's classes, Sean and I went out to Bedford to his Physical Therapy session with Marty Stajduhar, Lisa's husband. Marty had Sean on the "Lifter" with the treadmill today for about a half an hour. He then worked on stretching out his shoulders. Sean was a limp noodle when he was finished.

We were so thankful that traffic was not too bad this afternoon on our way home. We are glad to be in, now out of the biting North wind. Hopefully, all of you are staying warm.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, December 6, 2006 7:56 PM CST

Sean only had one class, multimedia today. His instructor bought pizza for the kids and Sean and I took cupcakes. It was a nice little end of the semester. Sean just has one more session of two classes in the morning and then he is done at Richland and done for the semester.

It has been quite a semester. Although his credits won't go towards his degree, this sememster prepared him to be ready to complete his Bachelor's degree. He is so excited to be going to UTD next semester.

Last night when he was getting ready for bed he asked me if we could go to Kevin's graduation. When I got up this morning, I e-mailed Jackie and she called right away and said that she would love for us to attend. Sean is thrilled and is so glad that he can make the journey to attend this important milestone in his friend's life. We had wanted to go last year when Brian Wible graduated, but at the time Sean was still a resident at the Ranch and we just weren't prepared for the logistics of a road trip to Wichita Falls.

We will leave for Ft. Gibson, Oklahoma, next Friday right after Sean's last session of Hippotherapy. Hopefully we will arrive there right at sundown. At least that is what we will hope to do.

I am so thrilled with the progress that Sean has made both physically, emotionally and intellectualy over the past year. Actually it has been over the past 21 months! What a wonderful life we have.

Thank you for sharing and Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, December 5, 2006 10:01 PM CST

This is Sean. I am giving MoM a little break tonight. I wanted to share with you what I wrote in class today. We were talking about what gives us strength.

I call my Mom my rock. She is always there no matter what. Sometimes I have my fit. It is so frustrating at times not being able to talk, and say what is on my mind. She understands that, and just blows it off.

Thank you for checking in,
Sean

Monday, December 4, 2006 8:08 PM CST

Well, I spent about 3 hours this afternoon filing paperwork. I feel so much better. I don't know why but some tasks seem so daunting to me. When I finally knuckle down and just "do it" I feel so much better.

Sean an I had a little incident this evening that left us laughing. I was transfering him from his transfer chair to the wheelchair and I don't know if he didn't have his balance or what happened, but all of the sudden he was on the floor. Well, it wasn't really all of a sudden, we both sensed that he was going and there was no way I could stop him from just kind of spinning around and down. Luckily he landed slowly on his butt so he wasn't hurt at all.

Bob was home so he was able to help me get Sean back up onto the side of the bed and then I just stood him up. Sean never did know why he went down, and I can't imagine either. I guess it was just "one of those things" that happen.

Sean wrote a letter to his UTD instructors to let them know about his disabilities and the challanges that he will have in attending their classes. He e-mailed it to the Disabilities Services Coordinator to forward on to his instructors.

3 more days of school at Richland. Yippee!!!!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, December 3, 2006 10:17 PM CST

We had our night with Calem and Shaya last night. Ben and Cheryl came to have dinner and pick them up this afternoon. They gave Shaya a Nintendo Wii for her birthday. If you want to buy your child a video game device this is one that receives my endorsement. It truly is awesome. The player has to stand up and actually physically interacts with the game. It comes with a sports game. You can play tennis, baseball and bowling. You actually swing the racket or the bat, or roll the bowling ball. It was so much fun watching all of them try their hand at the different sports. Even Calem got up to bat!

Sean went into his room because he wanted to watch the Cowboys game. It was a real thriller with the Cowboys winning with a field goal in the last 6 seconds.

Bob stayed with Sean this evening and I had the opportunity to go over to one of my girlfriends (former running buddy) where our small group of friends got together for a little Christmas party. There were only 7 of us there, but it was great fun. For two hours I was able to put aside my responsibilities and enjoy some female camaraderie.

I have just returned home. Sean had me proofread a letter that he is going to send to his instructors at UTD that will tell them a little bit about him. I am so proud of my beautiful boy. This is his last week at Richland and then we have a 4 week downtime from school. We are really going to enjoy this "slack" period. Maybe I will get our home in order again. Probably not. There is always something other than housework to do.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Saturday, December 2, 2006 9:07 PM CST

Sean and I received an e-mail this evening. She has word that someone she knows has a niece, Anne Crabtree, who was critically injured in a car accident in Paris, Texas. She is in ICU at Parkland. Please send up prayers for her and her family tonight. I can remember the horrible feeling of powerlessness that I had as Sean's mother during the early days of his accident. I still have times when I feel that way, yet I am so thankful that I no longer have to wonder how his life will be. My heart goes out to any mother that has to suffer through this horror.

Calem and Shaya have been here all afternoon. Ben and Cheryl are enjoying a kid free night so that they can celebrate Ben's 26th birthday, December 4. Shaya's birthday is the day after his, on Tuesday, so we will have a family birthday party for her tomorrow afternoon here.

Bob, Sean and I got her a present, but I made her one of those no-sew fleece blankets today. She is snuggled under it this evening watching Akeelah and the Bee. Shaya is really into her studies at school and I thought she would enjoy this movie and so far she seems to be doing so. We also watched John Tucker Must Die and laughed together all through it.

Calem and I watched the movie "Cars" while I made Shaya's blanket this afternoon. This evening he is sitting on the floor with his Lego's. I had to make a few animals for him with them at first before he got into it. Now he has been happy working with the blocks for the past hour.

Sean has been on and off the computer today. We spent time standing for Bob and Shaya. Sean has got so much better control of his body now. He actually can stand with me just barely, and I mean barely, holding onto him.

Thank you for caring and thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, December 1, 2006 7:53 PM CST

Kevin left this morning. I was a little concerned because of the amount of snow that had fallen in Oklahoma, but he arrived safely and left Sean a text message that "the roads were not all that bad." We were so happy to have him here for a couple of days.

Sean and I drove over to Colleyville for Hippotherapy today. As long as you were in the sun, it was not too terribly cold at the Stables this afternoon. Sean enjoyed his ride. I am amazed at the progress he has made with his balance and his trunk strength since he began riding. I am so thankful that Dr. Carlile suggested it in August while we were at Mt. High Camp.

While we were out there, Danny called and said that he would like to come down. He got here soon after we did and stayed for a couple of hours to visit with Sean.

Sean got an e-mail from UTD and they told him that he would be receiving a $1500 transfer scholarship because of the grades he maintained at Grayson and Midwestern. He was so excited. I am too! We paid for his tuition, and hopefully this scholarship will cover his books. Sean is also going to fill out the FAFSA request. Hopefully he will qualify for more money for school.

We are now watching another great Maverick's game. Jason Terry has already scored 7, 3 point shots in the first quarter. Hopefully they will win this one too. It will be their 12th win in a row! Go Mavs!!!

I don't know any details other than what Judy Thomas wrote in Sean's guest book, but I would like to ask you to pray for the family of the young girl killed on her way back to OSU last weekend. All I know is that her name was Amanda. I would also like to ask you to remind your loved ones and friends of the threat of drunk drivers to their innocent victims.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, November 30, 2006 7:24 PM CST

Sean, Kevin and I stayed home and watched the weather reports on the TV all day. Kevin called the Sherwin Williams guy and they agreed to reschedule his interview. Kevin had talked to both of his parents in Oklahoma and decided to stay down here tonight. He has been worried to death about a class presentation that he has tomorrow. His university has 3 campuses and 2 of them are showing closed tomorrow, but his campus only says closed tonight. Oh well, his decision is now made and he will just have to miss that class. It starts at 8 a.m. and he is not going to try to leave until he is sure the roads are passable tomorrow.

The 3 of us played Monopoly today and Kevin beat both of us. It was actually a fun afternoon. Kevin also helped me put some lights up in our street side window. It actually feels a little festive in our apartment this year. Last year I didn't have the energy to really decorate. At the time I was driving back and forth to Anna, to the Pate Ranch each afternoon and evening. I am so happy that Sean is now with us here at home. In fact it will soon be almost a full year.

Sean moved back home January 20. He was finally finished with inpatient Rehab facilities. When I think back about all of the improvements that he has made with his body, I am so very, very thankful.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, November 29, 2006 6:46 PM CST

Sean just has one more week at Richland College. We are looking forward to the Christmas Break and some downtime. That time will help Sean gear up again for 2007!

Kevin Krier is on his way down here from Tallequah, OK. He has a job interview tomorrow afternoon with Sherwin Williams. He text messaged Sean and said that it was pouring on him as he was leaving up there at about 3:45 this afternoon. The arctic blast is coming!

I know that Sean's cousins Eryn, Tobin and Jen as well as my sister "Aunt Meri-Jac", get a kick out of our making such a big deal out of a little bit of cold. I guess it is no different when they make a big deal out of 100 degree days. We can trade barbs, just at different times of the year.

Ben's birthday is coming up on Monday, December 4. Shaya's birthday is the next day, December 5. We will celebrate their birthdays on Sunday. I have asked Cheryl if the kids can spend Saturday night with us. Calem wanted me to babysit last Sunday and I promised him this weekend. Our house will be noisy and maybe Chreyl and Ben can have one night of quiet together.

Sean has learned how to clack his tongue! Well, we can't think of any other word to describe it, but you know that noise that make when you pop your tongue off the roof of your mouth. Sean has not been able to do it since his accident. This morning as I was drying him off he started doing it! He has done it all day anytime that I ask him. This is so exciting because it means that the muscles and the thought process in his mouth are continuing to improve. His grin has been huge all day because he has another reassurance that he continues to improve!

Thank you for all of the messages today. They mean the world to Sean.

Thank you for sharing and Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, November 28, 2006 9:50 PM CST

Sean and I had another busy day today. We had school and then our dash home to lunch and then out to Colleyville to ride that "Hippo", Daisy! Afterwards Seana and Miss Iris worked at the bars, stepping forward and back. Iris noticed that Sean is getting stronger. We are so happy!

Sean wrote a poem today during his class. He wanted me to share it with you. He also wants you to know that he is not a peace activist. He was just writing. I am really impressed with my sons prose.

Sean's words:

I would like you to put it all. The second part was something we went over also. It was related to what we discussed.

The gunfire entraps me.
I am surrounded by patriots fighting for a cause.
I am like a fragile wall about to topple.
Today I say enough fighting.
Enough death.

An example of reality versus appearances in my life.
--Everyone sees me as this great spirited person when really I have no choice. We are all forced to play what "cards" God dealt us. I have to make a choice. I can either spend my life crying about what could have been, or vow to make the best of it. I choose to make the best of it!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, November 27, 2006 9:56 PM CST

This will be short. Sean has spent most of the evening on the computer and I have been busy trying to get a few things done.

Sean had another one of those scary choking episodes at school today. I ended up pulling him to his feet and we just stood there for about 5 minutes and his cough finally subsided. It was quite scary while it was happening. We were sitting in a far corner of the cafeteria at Richland College and I don't think that many people even noticed what was going on. I was certainly glad for that little bit of anonymity that we had.

We are going to try to find out if Sean can start Outpatient Therapy at BIR soon. Then we will stop Hippotherapy. With the upcoming weather prediction and Sean's overwhelming spasticity in the cold, we probably won't have much choice anyway. I am so happy with the results that he has achieved from his riding so far. Too me, he has regained so much of his sense of balance. He also seems so much stronger in his core. I know that it is far easier to transfer him now.

I had a dream last night that he just got up and walked! I wonder if that was a premonition?

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, November 26, 2006 6:34 PM CST

I had every intention of sitting down with the Sunday paper and my cup of coffee this morning and then reality hit and the day has gotten away from me. I usually try to get up early Sunday's so I have an hour too myself, but Sean had other plans. He woke up and since he needed his shower, I got him up and we got that done.

When I finished everything with him, I got myself ready and then left him at the computer and ran to the grocery store. When I got home, I got a roast in the oven and then did some chores, including starting laundry. (That almost doesn't count, because our washer and dryer seem to run endlessly.)

Ben, Cheryl, Shaya and Calem came over this afternoon. The girls and I ran down to the SPCA of Dallas to check out the puppies that were there. There were some really pretty dogs there, but they were all really big and really lively. Not exactly the type of dog I would think would be happy in an apartment.

When we got home, Calem entertained us for a while and Shaya baked brownies. She always likes to make them when she comes over so I try to have a box or two and foil pans here for her so she can take them home. Cheryl cut my hair, which really makes me feel better. She is so sweet to take the time to do it for me.

Bob got home, the kids left, and the three of us enjoyed the roast that I cooked. We are now sitting here, winding up the wonderful Thanksgiving weekend, just enjoying the time together.

I checked on Timothy today. He is now at home, still in a lot of pain, but at least in his own bed. His Mom is exhausted, but I know that she too will feel better just being in her own home again. So far, Timothy has only had that one seizure since his surgery, so pray that was the last one.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Saturday, November 25, 2006 9:10 PM CST

Sean and I are watching the Mavs beat NOK - (New Orleans/OKC), and beat them they are.

Sean's Nanny and PaPaw, as well as Aunt Linda and Cousin Gary, came for a visit today. I was kind of worried about them driving down here because the news had been reporting fog this morning, however, they arrived uneventfully. Sean enjoyed their visit.

I wanted to give you a quick update on Sean's friend Timothy. I talked to his Mom yesterday and she said that his surgery was much harder on him then either of them thought that it would be. He has been in extreme pain from a headache since he woke up from surgery. The doctors have told them that it will ease up a little each day. Hopefully that day will be soon. She said that he cannot even stand her cell phone ringing in his room and he has also had to have the room completely dark. She told me that he has had one seizure, but the doctors say that does not yet indicate that the surgery was not successful. Time will tell.

Please pray for Timothy again as you read this.

Sean and I were both happy to see the guestbook entry from Andy Cooper. Andy is also a fellow TBI Survivor that we met while Sean was in Baylor Specialty Hospital, then at BIR and at Pate together. We are so happy that you sound so good, Andy.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, November 24, 2006 7:43 PM CST

Bob, Sean and I were all up early on Thanksgiving morning. Bob was meeting his buddy Richard down at the Shop so that they could get down to the Turkey Trot. I got Sean up and Ben, Cheryl and the kids arrived and we drove on down to the Courthouse for the run.

We were there with about 30,000 of our best friends. Bob and Richard, his friend, managed to find us and Ben left with them to get to the 8 mile starting line. There were actually so many people going through the 3 mile gate that by the time we made it to the starting gate people were already crossing the finish line to return. The 8 milers were running through the same gate as they reached their halfway point. It was so congested that we just decided we would mess around and wait for the guys to finish.

Cheryl took Calem to the little petting zoo and then up to the "Bounce Houses" that were set up. Calem was so cute petting the goats. I think he really enjoyed himself. We made our way to the 8 mile home stretch and waited to see Bob and Ben cross the finish line.

The weather was absolutely beautiful. It was a little chilly when we first got there, however, it warmed up quickly with the bright Texas sun overhead. After we met back up with Ben we made our way through the crowds back to the truck, loaded up and got home.

It took 2 hours to warm up the turkey and the ham from Boston Market as well as all of the sides. We ate a really good dinner and then Cheryl did most of the kitchen clean-up. The dinner was great and was enough different from the regular Boston Market Fare that we all really enjoyed it. It truly was the way to go. Other then the heating up there was none of the preparation time normally spent to make our Thanksgiving meal. I felt as though I enjoyed everything for the first time.

Ben and Cheryl spent all day with us and well into the evening. It felt so good to have them with us. The only thing that would have made it better would have been Todd, Kori and Joey and perhaps a larger home.

Sean and I have spent the day chillaxing. Bob left very early for the deer lease. Sean is looking forward to his visit with Nanny, PaPa and Aunt Linda tomorrow morning.

We hope that all of you had a wonderful Thanksgiving day.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, November 22, 2006 9:12 PM CST

Sean was accepted to UTD!!! We found out today when we went to Enrollment Services. As long as we were there we went to meet with an Advisor at the School of Business and then he registered and we paid his tuition. We were both so happy.

Sean will be taking 12 semester hours. Class time should not overwhelm him, but he will probably have a lot of studying to do. He will have to rely on someone in his classes to share their notes with him because there will be no way for him to take his own notes.

It took us literally all day long to get everything done and he will still have to go back and meet with the Disability Services Department. He also will have to get a student I.D. made and we will have to get a parking pass for our vehicle. Everyone that we met was extremely accomodating and very nice. Sean is really looking forward to start there in January.

The University is just 17 miles away. Straight north on Hwy 75. Sean has arranged his schedule so he may possibly have 4 afternoons for therapy. He will take 1 Thursday night class from 7-9:45.

I am so glad that I decided to let Boston Market prepare our Thanksgiving Dinner because I have never in my life been this unprepared for anything. I have had no time to go to the grocery store. I was going to try to get out about 8 this evening and I just decided to heck with it. We won't have it.

The only good thing about the day tomorrow will be that we will all be here together. Except for missing Todd, Kori and Joey, our little family will all be together.

I have not heard from Timothy's mother today so I can't give you a report on his status. I pray that no news is good news.

We hope that all of you have a wonderful, wonderful, Thanksgiving Holiday. That you have plenty to eat and lots of family or friends to enjoy.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, November 21, 2006 7:58 PM CST

The weather today has been absolutely beautiful, but Sean and I have had an extremely "stormy" day together. I have shed a lot of tears because Sean has exhibited a lot of anger. We finally talked about it this afternoon and Sean said that he thinks it is his brain injury. He said that when it is happening he just feels like there is no way to control it and he doesn't care who sees it. He also said that he thinks part of it is because of the extreme stress that he is feeling because he does not yet know if UTD will accept him.

We are going to a meeting in the morning and then will go to the University to Enrollment Services to try to get an answer from them. He also wants to register with the Disability Services Department on campus.

Since our morning is going to start so early, we decided that some how some way he had to shower tonight. Remember the renegade right leg? Well, it was horrible tonight, but we were able to trick it for most of his shower. We had to revert to the old, unsafe way to get him in. Half way through his shower, that leg stiffened up and because he is so very tall his foot is bent inward against the end of the tub and I could not get his leg bent. I finally just gave up and propped it up outside the tub and we were able to finish the shower.

While we were finishing up the shower, Tony Bennett came on. I think he sang the first song directly to me. Some of you will recognize it and will hear the melody in your head when you read the lyrics. Even if you don't hear a melody, the words touched my heart.

"Smile" by Tony Bennett

TONY BENNETT lyrics - "Smile"
(feat. Barbra Streisand & Pinchas Zukerman)

www.OldieLyrics.com

"Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through for you

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile"

Sean and I would like to request that you say a special prayer tonight for his friend, Timothy Moreland. They are classmates at Richland. Timothy had to undergo another brain surgery this morning in hopes that it would eliminate the seizures that he has continued to have in the years since his accident. Timothy is 20. I can't remember exactly, but I think his accident occurred 3 years ago, almost 4. He has been plagued with seizures since that time and each seizure can result in the death of more brain cells. The doctors felt that this was Timothy's best option for his future. Please pray for a positive outcome.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,

And remember, just "Smile!"
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, November 20, 2006 10:29 PM CST

School filled Sean's day. He was learning all about the software Quicken this morning and this afternoon he started to create a slideshow with PowerPoint. He will be quite the software whiz when this semester is over.

It has been a quiet night here this evening. We forgot the Mavs were playing! I don't know how we did that because we talked about it on the way home.

It is late and we have an early day today. I wanted to put some new pictures on the site. Kori sent me a bunch and I wanted to share a few with you.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, November 19, 2006 6:22 PM CST

The Caringbridge must have been down Saturday evening because I was unable to access it to make an entry last night. Sean and I were watching the Mavericks game, and I never bothered to check a second time because it just was too late afterwards.

We watched the Cowboys beat the Colts this evening. How bout Dallas? We actually won in both sports this weekend. It's funny how you get a sense of pride when you watch a winning team and it is "your" team.

Sean and I had a totally "Chill-axed" weekend. We never left the house since we got home Friday evening. We started to get out this afternoon, but once I got Sean's jacket on we looked at each other and shrugged, and just stayed home.

Calem woke up with a cough this morning so Ben and Cheryl and the kids did not come over today.

I am sure that everyone is looking forward to the upcoming Thanksgiving Day weekend, as we are. It will feel good to know that we won't be running around the entire week. I have no desire at all to get out with the "Black Friday" shopping crowd.

Saturday seemed to be a very emotional day for Sean. It took us more than two and a half hours to get him bathed and dressed Saturday morning. We both agreed that it would not be a good idea to get a dog right now. I just don't know if I could take care of another living thing. Most days aren't that difficult, but Sean still requires non-stop care and there are days I feel as though I have had absolutely no time to myself. Sean says that isn't fair because he never gets any time either. Oh well, we manage to get through those more difficult times and then the sun rises again!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, November 17, 2006 9:47 PM CST

Sean finally slept in this morning. He woke up at 9:35, and was so happy that he had finally slept late. That left us a couple of hours to get ready and then we were headed over to Colleyville for Hippotherapy.

Sean enjoyed his ride today. All of the volunteers were female today. Lisa, his PT, was teasing him because he had women "hanging" off of him. That is what it looked like, because the girls on either side of him had a hand up on his gait belt. Sean gave me a big "thumbs up" as he rode by.

I have noticed for the last week his right leg is swinging through on his walk so much better. Even when he began to be able to move his right leg on his own, it still kind of drug through his stride and usually only came up next to his left foot. Now it actually moves forward all the way to the front like a true stride. So, I guess it is, one full stride now!

Sean and I are planning on going to an "Adopt-a-pet" event at the West Village tomorrow, which is just about a mile away. He is still wanting a dog, so maybe we will get a Thanksgiving puppy. Actually, I want him to look for an adult dog because I don't have the energy to train a puppy. He will be happy if he just gets one that will climb up on his lap and sit there for awhile so that he can pet it. I also am not sure we will be serious about getting one until we figure out which college he will be attending.

We hope that all of you will have a "Chill-ax" weekend, like we plan on having.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, November 16, 2006 9:22 PM CST

After Sean's morning class we headed over to Colleyville for Hippotherapy. We stopped and ate lunch at Taco Bueno on the way over there. I was sitting watching Sean as he ate, and I cannot explain to you the overwhelming sense of admiration I have for my son. Each bite he puts into his mouth is a struggle. People all around us can't help themselves, but they watch him. Sean is not oblivious to their stares. He understands they are curious, not mean looks sent his direction.

He just smiles, and continues eating.

I honestly do not know that I would have his wonderful, positive attitude if I were in his position. I am so proud to call this young man (in fact all 3 of my sons), "My Son", "My Friend".

Thank you for caring and Thank you for Sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, November 15, 2006 9:38 PM CST

Sean has had some badluck with his AOL e-mail address that he has. He had been a screen name under his Dad's account and for some reason his Dad's password was reset. When Sean tried to sign into his own account, he could no longer get in. His Dad called AOL and talked to them and they reset Sean's password, and then he was supposed to login and change it. Unfortunately, you have to be at the host computer to do that and since Sean lives down here in Dallas, that is not going to happen.

Sean has created a new account here in Dallas. If you are one of Sean's friends or family members and write e-mails to him, please make note that he is now

SRCarter83@aol.com.

I tried to get Sean into the bath tub tonight so I could give him a shower and we could not get his right leg to bend at all. We usually always shower in the morning but he thought if we did it tonight he could sleep a little later in the morning. We gave up after trying to bend that darned right leg and he is going to have to wake up early.

Sean is such a special person. He never gives up and never quits smiling. Even when his body totally rebels against him, he just smiles and goes on.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, November 14, 2006 7:31 PM CST

We ended up having a "down" afternoon and both of us enjoyed every minute of it. Due to a scheduling conflict, we didn't end up going to Colleyville or Bedford for therapy. Instead, Sean and I drove over to the UTD campus. We found out that they still need a transcript from Midwestern. Since we had the afternoon off, Sean had time to complete the request and we were able to get it submitted. Hopefully we will know something from them soon. I can't imagine there being a problem because he was already accepted there for the fall of 2005.

We both think that the drive to UTD will be easiest and all things being equal Sean would just prefer to finish out his bachelor's degree there. Once we have definite word from them either way, we can make the decision on whether to move back to Baylor Institute for Rehab as an outpatient.

Sean has been walking with me as his walker a little farther each day. We squeeze in steps every chance that we get. I wish I was able to do more with Sean.

We decided to try a restaurant that is right down the street from us called "The Alligator Cafe". I have driven by it so many times but never had the nerve to go inside. I recently read an article in "D Magazine" about this restaurant, so I decided that today would be the day. I was very happy to find that they had great Cajun food like fried green tomatoes and crawfish enchilidas. Sean had cajun chicken strips, steak fries, and boudin balls. It was all great! And to think we have never tried it before today! Sean and I decided it is our "new" place to go. We will have to take Ben and Cheryl the next time they come over.

Sean wanted to share this information with everyone. He has a friend that he met while he was in New York City named Amanda Kerlin. She has modeled for Elle, Glamour, Marie Claire and Teen Vogue. Amanda has just authored a book, "Secrets of The Model Dorm" and will have a book signing at Barnes and Noble in Manhattan, January 10, 2007. Sean is already trying to figure out a way to attend the signing.

We are so proud of you Amanda!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, November 13, 2006 7:52 PM CST

Well, a new week has started and I am already exhausted. Sean had an eye appointment first thing this morning. I had forgotten about it when I first woke up and thought that I would have a few minutes to lay around, when "Oops!" I remembered. The race was on. I had to get myself and Sean ready in about an hour and 15 minutes. This is not an easy task. We did manage to arrive at Dr. Marx office on time, however. The Doctor looked at Sean's eyes and said that they looked great so we are into the contacs for good now. Sean is so proud.

From there we went straight to Richland. Sean was a few minutes late but he took a note from the eye doctor so his teacher wouldn't be upset with him.

We are now home after our long day. Sean is tired this evening as am I. I think we are going to bed early tonight. He has a 9:30 class in the morning and he needs his shower before we leave so it will be an early morning. After class we have to drive to Bedford for Physical Therapy.

Thank you for sharing and Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, November 12, 2006 5:56 PM CST

We had a really nice afternoon. Cheryl's birthday is Wednesday, so we celebrated her birthday here today. Sean and I had bought her a beautiful, soft, hot pink, bathrobe while at Northpark Mall yesterday. I cooked home made hamburgers and oven fries, and sweet potato fries for lunch and then we had cake and ice cream.

Ben and Calem went outside for a little while so that Calem could chase bubbles around. Shaya was excited because she had been wanting to try Photoshop software out and didn't know that we had it on our computer. I showed it to her this afternoon so she spent a little time working with it.

Bob was home with us this afternoon. He is not used to the noise of little Calem, but he is a trooper and he hung with us all day. It is always nice when we are all together as a family.

Tomorrow the week starts again. If you are like we are, we are really counting down the days until Thanksgiving so that we will have long weekend again.

Thank you for sharing and Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Saturday, November 11, 2006 7:50 PM CST

Sean and I went to UTA today for Preview Day today. We stopped in at the Admissions Sattelite office and found out that Sean has actually been admitted. Yippee!! Now hopefully he will also be accepted at UTD. We will probably take a day next week to run up there and check that campus out so that he can make a decision about which school to go to.

If he ends up choosing UTA, we will probably move to Arlington. We have to do something to reduce our commute time. We would then find rehab facilities in Arlington as well. If he goes to UTD, we will probably stay where we are and then begin Outpatient services at Baylor Rehab (BIR), which will also save us drive time.

We both really liked the faculty members and the students that we met at UTA, so we are really glad we took the time to drive over there today.

When we got back to Dallas we drove onto Northpark because we had a little shopping to do. We ate lunch in the Food Court and then got the items that we needed. From there it was a trip to the grocery store and then we came home. I laid Sean down in his bed for a nap and then I took a short power nap on the couch. I really needed it.

Bob completed his 20 miles. He said that he did real well the first half but then he got a couple of blisters on his feet so he ended up walking in the last half. He has been going and going, so he finally took a nap today while Sean and I were running around. I know he needed it.

Ben, Cheryl and the kids come over tomorrow. We are excited. It is always good to spend time with them. Although we saw them over the past two weekends, it was running to and from Shaya's cheerleading events so we didn't spend a lot of time with them. Tomorrow will be good.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Saturday, November 11, 2006 7:50 PM CST

Friday, November 10, 2006 10:12 PM CST

Friday night and I was ready to go to bed when I realized I had not updated our website. We only had Hippotherapy today but it took our whole day.

I thought Sean would try to sleep late this morning but he woke up at 7 and didn't want to go back to sleep so I got him up and in the shower early. I was able to get a couple of things done around here and then we were off to Colleyville for his ride.

Sean rode so well this afternoon. He is getting better and better at feeling how his horse is moving and now is able to stay centered without requiring much help from his sidewalkers. Lisa, his PT, was really happy with the way he was able to "dip" today as he stood at the ladder. She said that she thinks he is much looser and his legs seem to be strengthening.

Bob is getting up and doing a 20 mile race tomorrow morning. He has not run at all this week. His philosophy "It's only 20 miles"! Can you imagine?

Ben and Cheryl and the kids will be coming over Sunday. Sean wants to take Calem to see "Flushed Away". I don't know if we will go or if we will just stay home with everyone.

We hope you put an extra blanket at the foot of the bed. You may need it by this morning.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, November 9, 2006 7:40 PM CST

Sean and I went to Marty Stajduhar's physical therapy clinic in Bedford this afternoon. He was so nice and really good working with Sean.

Sean is not yet ready to start "walking" on the treadmill, but he did get up and on it with the "Unloader" harness around him to unload some of the weight off of his feet. In fact, we raised him up so that 80 lbs were off of him, but he still could not walk with the treadmill going. I am sure a lot of this has to do with the fact that he has pretty much been wheelchair bound except for the walks we take as he transfers to and from the wheelchair, either getting in and out of the truck, in and out of bed, or in and out of the bathroom. Unfortunately, it is not near the amount of walking practice he was getting during Day Neuro.

I cannot allow myself to feel guilty about not getting Sean up more because there are only so many hours in the day and as it is my back and shoulders are often hurting by the end of the day after transferring him as often as I do. I never just pivot Sean any more. I always walk him more than 15-20 feet. To an able bodied person that is nothing, but for Sean and I, it feels like a mile.

Since Sean could not really walk with the treadmill going, Marty had Sean do a lot of weight shifting and "dipping" and attempts at lifting his knees up, like he was marching in place. He can do this easily with his left leg, but it is still very difficult with his right leg. We are not discouraged, just more determined to get his body going again.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing.
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, November 8, 2006 8:06 PM CST

Sean adds another therapy tomorrow. He is going to add treadmill walking on Thursdays, and cut back on Hippotherapy to 2 days a week, Tuesdays and Fridays. I have a really good feeling that his body and brain will respond to this new regimen. His balance is getting so much better. I did not realize what an issue it has been for him until I experienced his improvement. We are both excited about starting with Lisa's husband, Marty, tomorrow. Not only that, it should help our commute at least one day a week. Although we will really have to run to get to his clinic on time. We have to be there at 2, and Sean does not get out of class until 12:30 on Thursdays. Somehow I have to get him lunch before he starts his therapy, so he may be eating in the truck on our way to Bedford.

I met with 4 other mothers of TBI kids for lunch along with 2 of the TRI teachers. It was good to get out for an hour and a half, away from the school and just enjoy being out with our little support group. I needed this break today.

Thank you so much for caring, and Thank you for your kind messages,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, November 7, 2006 7:47 PM CST

I like the show "Friday Night Lights", but there are parts of it that I think Sean could have written. Tonight when the paralyzed quarterback yelled at his best friend for not coming to see him for 6 weeks it broke my heart. Sean has never even had the luxury of "yelling" at anyone, much less talking to them. He is so thankful that Kevin and Brian Wible have continued to find ways to make him feel that he is thought of frequently. Both of them are really a pretty good distance away, but they usually try to text message Sean now and again so that he knows they are thinking of him. It is rare he hears from anyone else. It hurt him when one of his very close friends got married in a big church wedding and he was not at least asked to be part of the wedding party. I guess it wouldn't have made for good pictures to have a wheelchair in the picture. Or, time has moved on (which it definitely has) and there is no time in their lives, although that is all that Sean has. But the thing that probably hurt the most was when the invitation to the wedding came, it was addressed to "Mr and Mrs Sean Carter". Although we both laughed about it, we know that a "friend" would have made the effort to look at the invitation and know that Sean has never been married.

Oh well, Sean no longer wonders about these things he just accepts it is the way it is. And it is. Sean told me this evening that he accepts that others have their own "busy" lives.

One thing that we both have learned about friendship. You have to work to be friends. Friendship takes sacrifice and work. Friendship is not just forwarding e-mails that you have gotten from someone out there that you forward on to your "friend". It is taking a moment to send a personal e-mail and saying "Hi, how are you." and then sharing a piece of your life, or picking up the phone and saying or texting "hello".

And friendship is those of you who we may not have been close to before the accident, who now sign Sean's guestbook regularly so that he knows that he is thought of often by YOU.

Thank you for caring and Thank you so very, very, much for sharing.
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

P. S. This is Sean....
Friendship with me takes work. Much more than the traditional friendship. I can't walk or talk so this is another obstacle. I can't talk on the phone if whoever is having a bad day. My cousins and the few who are still my friends do a great job of including me in their conversations and their lives. I don't feel the need to mention those whom I no longer feel are my friends. They should know who they are after 20 months of including or excluding me from their activities and their lives. I am in no way faulting those who no longer include me....Sean

Monday, November 6, 2006 8:46 PM CST

It's always so much fun to open the guestbook and read what every one else is doing. Susie, the Prestonwood thing sounds great, but honestly, that church is just way to big for us. People just don't pay attention to Sean in his wheelchair and he gets really frustrated. I know that it would be wonderful, but I hate to put him in that environment of a huge crowd. It is just too difficult for him to have to deal with.

I read with interest about the mother who is claiming her son as a foster child. Our problem may lay in the fact that in order to be considered a dependant child, he would have had to be disabled prior to his being 22. Since his accident happened when he was 22, he was already considered an adult. Even though he is my child, he does not qualify in that category anymore. That may be the circumstances with the person I wrote about the other day.

I got my grocery shopping done today. I did it in spurts. This morning I got all of the non-perishables at Super Target and then had to go back to school with Sean's lunch. I always have to help him get set up to eat and then he makes his restroom stop. After I got him set up in his afternoon class, I went to Kroger to get some meat for dinner.

Bob got home from opening weekend of deer season this evening. He and his 4 buddies killed 8 deer. He brought a hind leg and a backstrap home for me to cook. He has an employee who has a huge family who always takes a good portion of anything Bob kills, so he was able to provide for them. I am going to cook some of it tomorrow.

Ben, Cheryl, Shaya, Calem, Sean, Bob and I are all going to run the Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving morning. Bob and Ben will do the 8 mile race, and Cheryl, the kids, Sean and I will do the 3 mile fun run. I have always wanted to do it, but never have so this will be a first. I think I should be able to get the meat in the oven before the run. Hopefully Sean won't have school that Wednesday and I can get all of the side dishes done so that we just have to heat everything up. Otherwise we may just have Thanksgiving Supper instead of dinner, but who cares when your family is together? Of course we will miss Todd, Kori and Joey, but we have to be happy with those of us who can be together.

I need to share with you that Todd graduated from his Training today. He is now an official member of the Security Forces of the Hanford Nuclear Power Plant. He and Kori have also made an offer on a house in Pasco, Washington. If all goes as planned they will be able to move in on December 15. I am so proud of Todd and all that he has accomplished!

Ben is enjoying the Mavs game at American Airlines Center tonight. Hopefully the Mavs will win this one. It will be bittersweet either way because they are playing The Golden State Warriors coached by their former coach Don Nelson.

Well, Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, November 5, 2006 9:05 PM CST

Sean and I are having a "Chillax" Sunday. I kept thinking that I needed to run to the grocery store or to the Farmers' Market, but I stayed home with Sean instead. He didn't want to ride with me, and I just never got around to going.

So tomorrow our life in Hyperdrive begins again. We kept expecting rain all day so Sean and I didn't want to get him out and then have the rain come down all over him and his wheelchair, so we just stayed here. It actually has been good and restful. I got floors washed, and clothes washed, and dishes washed and Sean washed! So I accomplished a lot today.

Oh, and I have gotten some more knitting done. Sean and I are now winding down for the day.

Thank you for sharing and Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Saturday, November 4, 2006 7:53 PM CST

Calem was here with us overnight last night. He was a bundle of energy so I didn't get much relaxation today. I really enjoyed having him, though, as did Sean. He was so funny today. He heard Sean coughing and he said, "Sean you cough like an old man!" Sean got a kick out of that.

When Ben and Cheryl came to pick him up this evening they said that Cheryl's team came in 2nd in their division of cheerleaders. We are certainly proud of her and her team mates.

It is supposed to rain for the next two days. Hopefully, it will not be too heavy when we leave for school Monday morning.

Brenda, we hope you replaced your headlamp and Shirley, we hope you get over the crud.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, November 3, 2006 9:47 PM CST

We had to get Sean's Baclofen increased, so we went to see Dr. Thomas this morning. He increased the pump's doseage by 20I did not realize that people with spasticity like Sean has, have more difficulty with it in the winter when the weather gets colder. However, I knew that something was wrong because Sean's right leg was getting so hard to bend again. We had just had it increased about 3 weeks ago, but Sean and I were still battling that right leg.

From there we drove right out to Colleyville to Hippotherapy. Driving has been horrible all week. Yesterday afternoon a truck ran into a bridge over Hwy 183 right by Texas Stadium and was closed yesterday. It still had lane restriction today, so we had to drive west via Hwy 30 and then go north on Hwy 157 up to 183 and then west again on 183. It added at least a half an hour to our drive each way.

Over the weekend, Hwy 30 is going to be closed completely while the Carrier Parkway Bridge is closed down. Their are races being held all weekend up at Texas Motor Speedway, so traffic will be horrible to the North and West. Two semi's collided on Hwy 35 in Waco this afternoon and the southbound side is completely closed. Sean and I have decided that we will stay close to home this weekend.

Bob has gone hunting. This is opening weekend of deer season. He will be home Monday evening.

Sean had a really good session today. Lisa has arranged for Sean to go see her husband who is a sports medicine PT, next Thursday. He has a machine she calls an "unloader" which sounds very similar to the Light Gait, that Sean used at Pate Rehab. She thinks that he is now ready to start walking more. Sean will get harnessed into the unloader and then he will "walk" on a treadmill. We are excited that Sean is ready to progress. He is definitely getting stronger and his balance is better.

When we got home this evening, Danny, Sean's Dad, came by for about an hour and a half to visit with Sean. Soon after he left, Ben, Cheryl and Shaya brought Calem over. He wanted to spend the night with Sean and I and they have to take Shaya over to Ft. Worth fairly early tomorrow morning for her cheerleading competition. They were going to take Shaya out to dinner when they left.

We hope all of you have a good weekend!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, November 2, 2006 9:06 PM CST

I am so thankful that tomorrow is Friday. Sean and I are exhausted. Even though Sean and Kevin went to bed fairly earlier, with all of the running that we do during the week, Sean is worn out.

Sean had a morning class and then Hippotherapy this afternoon. We came home for lunch and Kevin and Sean shared sandwiches and then we all left. Kevin headed back to Talequah, Oklahoma, and Sean and I set out for Hippotherapy. I don't know why, but when Kevin left, it almost felt like we were saying goodbye to Todd. It has been a long time since Sean has had any visitors, and he and Kevin are so close. It was so good to have Kevin here, treating Sean just like he always has. Laughing and cutting up with him and teasing him just like his brothers do. I couldn't keep from crying as we drove away.

Susan, it was so good to hear from you today. Sean always enjoys reading your guestbook entries, as do Bob and I. You are right. That if only that pompous Neurosurgeon could see Sean now!

Sean had a really good Hippotherapy session today. After he rode, he did "Static Standing". That means that he does not try to walk, rather he works on gaining control of his body by shifting his weight on his feet while standing in place. Today he worked on the ladder again. He put one foot on the first step of the ladder and practiced moving into that bent leg, and then back again. Afterwards he had to stoop and practice shifting his body as a skier would do when sking downhill over moguls.

I was so amazed at him when we "walked" from his wheelchair to the truck seat, and then this evening as I walked him around the apartment a little. He is moving his right foot so much better now. He can actually stride all the way through with his right leg. I can remember when the therapists used to have to slide their foot under his right foot to make it move forward. Progress is made everyday.

I don't know if many of you watch Friday Night Lights, but during one of the episodes, but an incident occurred that could have been written about Sean and probably about anyone who has suffered the tragedy of brain injury, or of paralysis. Everyone goes through a "Golden Hour" when they are the heroes, and their is still the belief that someone will come in and make them whole again. After awhile, people realize that nothing will change in the life of that person and they go on. At some point the victim has to accept that their life has forever changed. The clock cannot be turned back. As Sean says, "It is all water under the bridge". All he can do is continue to fight to regain control of his broken body and brain. At least he does it with that beautiful smile on his face!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, November 1, 2006 8:12 PM CST

Sean and I got home at 6 tonight. Traffic was absolutely horrible. Bob came in a few minutes later. I cooked dinner and Kevin came in while we were eating. He had eaten with some friends and said that he was sitting in traffic for he felt like hours. Traffic was exceptionally heavy and slow tonight.

Kevin went to a career fair today that turned out to be held by a group of Mormons and was held at one of their Churches of the Latter Day Saints. The bulletin had been very misleading. It did not give the name of the building, just a street address. Kevin said that there were very few companies represented and the ones that were there all asked him if he had applied on line for any of their positions. I felt so bad for him. He had driven down from Ft. Gibson, OK, yesterday afternoon, and was so excited about the possibility of finding some leads on jobs.

Sean and Kevin are carrying on a conversation via Sean's Rolltalk. Bob and I are watching Criminal Minds. Earlier, I stood Sean up next to the bar and Kevin spotted him as he held onto the bar and practiced shifting on his feet. Sean's balance is definitely getting better.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, October 31, 2006 9:59 PM CST

Happy Halloween, everyone!

I don't know if you can really see Sean at all in the picture, but I thought it was funny. Iris, his PT Aide, had him standing, holding on to a stall's rails so that he could practice moving his feet, and bending down a little. I walked into the stall to take his picture but the light was shining in so brightly behind him that the picture was really dark. He looks like he is in Jail!

I have to share our "Small World" Story. There is a cop from somewhere out near Amarillo who suffered a traumatic brain injury while on the job. His accident occurred just days before Sean's accident. His name is Mark Simmons. His fiance e-mailed me shortly after we started our website and I have followed his story since then. Mark's website is on Carepages. His fiance's name was Johnna. We only shared a few e-mails over the course of Sean's journey, thus far. Today as he was riding, I noticed that Johnna who was leading Dixie had a Craig Hospital sweatshirt on. We started talking about Craig, (A brain injury hospital in Denver, Colorado) and all of the sudden, the connection lightbulb went on and almost at the same time, we realized who each other was!

We did not have much of an opportunity to talk, but she filled me in on Mark. This is almost surreal because I had just read his website this weekend and had told Bob that my heart just broke for his family because he has two young daughters age 3 and 5 who will never remember their Daddy as he was. Mark is still unable to communicate with his loved ones and I can only imagine the depths of depression he must live through as does his family. Another irony is that I had also talked to my sister (Aunt Meri from North Dakota) about Mark and his situation this weekend. She too has read his story off and on.

Mark is now an inpatient at Texas NeuroRehab in Austin, TX.
Please add him to your prayers.

I can truly say that just as you can meet someone with a similar injury, and they might be so much better off than Sean, you will also meet someone who is so much worse off. We are so blessed.

One of Sean's best friends, Kevin Krier, just arrived from Ft. Gibson, Oklahoma. He is graduating from college next month and is hoping to land a job here in the Dallas area. Kevin has come down to attend a Job Fair being held in Carrolton tomorrow and is going to stay with us for a couple of nights. Sean is so happy to have him, as are Bob and I.

Well, we hope all of you had a Spooktacular Day!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, October 30, 2006 6:53 PM CST

I don't have the details yet for Shaya's competition in Ft. Worth on Saturday, so I am not sure where it will be held.

Jama, Shaya is in Middle School, and I know that Justine has got to be older by now so I don't know if they have the same progression of competition. Her even on Sunday was actually put on by the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders. I forgot to mention that yesterday. Cheryl and I were amazed that they wore their tops with the plunging necklines showing half of their boobs and they were sitting at a table signing autographs for young girls ages about 4-18. It seemed inappropriate to me, but what do I know, I raised three sons!

Sean and I had a visitor from the Dallas County Probate Court this morning to check on Sean's living conditions. He and I both woke up about 5:30 this morning. I don't know if he was, but I was feeling so nervous about the impending visit. Bob told me that she would not find anything wrong with the way Sean was cared for or how he lived, but I couldn't help but be concerned. I have no idea how old she was, but she said that she and her husband have been making visitations since they retired and they have been doing this for more than 12 years. By the time she left, she was totally captivated by Sean. She even gave him a big hug and told him that she wished him the best! That smile of his was ear to ear this morning.

Now that we are home from a full day of school, and has eaten dinner, he is pretty worn out. It is going to take us both a while to get adjusted to the time change.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, October 29, 2006 6:21 PM CST

Sean and I had a lazy Sunday morning and then we met Ben, Cheryl and Calem at Texas Stadium. It was such a beautiful day to be out in the afternoon. We weren't able to sit by them because of course handicap seating was right at the end of the ramp, and Shaya was performing down on the field. I remember how it was for me to be close to the boys whenever they played anything, so I told Cheryl and Ben to be sure they go right down to the front so they would have the best seat.

We left before the competition was over so that I could get Sean into the shower, but Cheryl just called and said that Shaya's team won! They will compete in Ft. Worth next week. We are so proud of Shaya's performance!

Congratulations Justine! We are happy your team won and gosh that is exciting that you all will be going to Orlando. Wish I could sit up in the stands with you, Jama, the way we used to at Sean and Rory's games. Gosh, I feel like those times were so innocent. I wish we could turn back the clock.

Eryn, I will e-mail. Sean and I are interested in speaking anywhere anytime about the dangers of riding with drunk drivers.

Bob has run to get Sean and I some lettuce wraps from Pei Wei for dinner. He is so sweet to us.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Saturday, October 28, 2006 7:41 PM CDT

I woke Sean up this morning so that I could get him ready for a visit from Nanny and PaPaw at 9:30. They came by to visit for a little while before they headed on down to Hillsboro. Sean always enjoys getting to see them both.

After they left, Sean and I loaded up for his appointment at the Optometrist to have his contacs checked. The doctor thought his eyes looked really good and he was wearing his lenses well. Before he has us order any, he wants Sean to wear them for another two weeks just to make sure that Sean encounters no problems.

There is a really good pizza and spaghetti place right next door that we discovered during our last visit to Dr. Marx office, so we went there for lunch after today's appointment.

Returning home, I helped Sean with is shower and then he decided that he wanted to take a Saturday afternoon nap. While he slept, I finally made and baked his apple pie. I was so excited. I had bought one of those apple peeler, corer, slicer things that I have looked at for years and never gotten. I used it to do the apples and within 5 minutes, I had peeled, cored, sliced (diced and chopped - not really) 9 apples. It was so easy and the slices were so pretty. Why did I wait so long. Yes, I know, I get excited about the craziest things now. I called my sister, Meri-Jac to tell her about how great this gadget works and had the opportunity to talk to her husband, my brother-in-law, Jeff. He was at home, Meri-Jac was in Minneapolis with the Eryn. After I told Jeff about my cool gadget, I called Meri-Jac to tell her about it. Finally, I have the one kitchen item that she doesn't have!!!

I let Sean sleep about an hour and a half, and then got him up.

Bob had run 20 miles this morning with Dallas Fit and he had taken a little nap on the couch while Sean and I were gone this afternoon. He took our truck down to the shop and changed the oil for me while Sean was napping.

After dinner, Sean and I tried the pie. It is delicious! So good, I wish I could share a piece with each of you.

Thank you for sharing and Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, October 27, 2006 10:37 PM CDT

It was so windy today. We were so glad that Sean rides Dixie because she is probably the one horse who does not seem to get spooked from the wind. Even so, we went around and made sure that anything that would blow was picked up. There is no sense in taking chances when you have a rider who is basically defenseless if the horse were to bolt.

I am happy to report that Sean's ride this afternoon. Afterwards, Lisa took Sean into her therapy room and had him work on a ladder. He had to have one leg placed on the ladder, and then he held on to it with his left hand, which he is able to open. Crystal, his OT, held his right hand and leaned against the ladder so that he was in the position of holding the ladder. Lisa stood behind him holding his gait belt and she had him "dip" with the leg that he had on the ground. He was not able to dip far, but even just a little dip is a tremendous use of his muscles.

I have started putting his chair even with the tailgate when I get him in or out of the truck. We then "walk" to his seat, or from his seat to the chair. I walk backwards and he places his arms on my shoulders and we move to the chair. We were both excited today because he barely leaned on me. His balance and his strength are better every day. I really think the Hippotherapy has a lot to do with this.

I was mopping floors and cleaning this evening and I received a call from an old friend whom I had not heard from since the very early days of Sean's accident. I was amazed to hear that they logged in every day to check on Sean's progress. That means so much to me. I also had an e-mail today from one of my former "running buddies". I thought I was pretty much forgotten, but it warmed my heart to know that there are still people out there thinking of us and checking on us. It always amazes me when I find out the identity of one of our Army of Angels. I know you are out there. As of this writing, this website has been "hit" 110,110 times. It is truly a miracle!

Sean has an eye appointment Saturday morning to check his eyes and ensure that his contacs are fitting properly. On Sunday, we are planning on meeting Cheryl, Ben and Calem to watch Shaya perform in her cheerleading competition. The weather is supposed to be beautiful so it should be a lot of fun, and yes, Jama, just as you said about Justine's competition. It will be "noisy"! Good luck Justine Horn, we hope your team beats them all!

Todd and Kori will enjoy a weekend alone together. Joey has gone with his MiMi and Grandpa Brulotte. I think they were off to Seattle, but I really am not sure. Todd and Kori are looking for a house. He graduates from his training program and will be a full fledged Security Office for the Hanford Nuclear Power Plant in just two weeks. Anyone interested in finding out more about the Hanford Plant can cut and paste this link in their internet address bar http://www.hanford.gov/rl/?page=45&parent=0 It is really interesting. It worries me to think about Todd working in such a place. Not only is there danger from the Nuclear products themselves, but Hanford is a very high priority for a terrorist strike.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, October 26, 2006 6:55 PM CDT

I have a chicken casserole in the oven and it just can't seem to get done! So, I thought I would take a quick few minutes now.

We didn't have to drive to Colleyville for Hippotherapy today because Lisa had to take her son to his doctor. She had his appointment scheduled earlier but the doc had an emergency and changed their appointment, thus it conflicted with ours.

We drove through Farmers Market on the way home from school and I bought asparagus, mushrooms, apples and grapefruit. Sean wants me to bake an apple pie.

Sean and I were actually excited about missing hippotherapy today. We were both worn out for some reason. However, I didn't want him not to have anything so I parked his wheelchair a good distance from the truck and we "walked" to his chair when I got him out of the truck after school.

After lunch we both lay down for a while. I fell asleep on the couch and Sean was in his room. Waking up first, I woke Sean and he had his shower for the day then I started dinner. (which we are waiting to get done!)

Now we can both look forward to Sean's therapy tomorrow!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, October 25, 2006 7:36 PM CDT

From the looks of the weather maps, everywhere in North Texas was pretty wet today. Luckily we managed to get in and out of school during brief "lulls" in the showers. We also managed to drive during fairly decent drive times because the backups were not too bad.

As we were unloading today, Sean was able to stand up with me only holding on a little bit with one hand while I used the other to uncover his wheelchair and try to cover his car seat up before I sat him down in his chair. The hippotherapy is definitely helping his balance.

I can hear echoes of a neurologist at the Parkland Clinic who swept into our exam room just over a year ago who told us that what we had at a year was about all that we would get. Little by little, Sean continues to get stronger and regain movements, and his cognitive abilities? I would love to see that doctor now!!!!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing.
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, October 24, 2006 8:15 PM CDT

Sean wrote something in class today. I had left the campus when I had a text message from Sean, "Are you going to be here during our break? I wrote something about you that I would like to have you read." Naturally when I got that message I dashed back to the school to read.

Here it is:

I praise my mother. She is so devoted to giving me the best life possible. No matter how broken, or fragmented. She is my beacon, and person who I hope to emulate when I grow older. She is my steadfast pillar. Never ebbing or flowing. She is so great a mother, and I love her with every ounce of my being. She sticks right beside me no matter what the outcome of my actions. She is my "rock in a hard place."

He told me that he was supposed to write an Elegy, which is like a eulogy, but he couldn't think of a dead person to write about so he chose his MoM.

I had put a brisket in the crock pot this morning, so we had brisket, sweet potatoes and green beans for dinner. I didn't get finished with everything including the dishes until right at 8 o'clock this evening. I finally am taking a few minutes to write down the details of our day.

Sean had morning classes, then we came home for lunch and immediately afterward left for Hippotherapy in Colleyville. I was really amazed today. Lisa had Sean stand with one foot on a step stool and then she had him do squats with the leg that was on the ground. He was only really able to stand firm on his left foot and do the exercise. He tried with the right, but he had made his left quad really sore so he could not hold his left foot up on the stool. Not only that, his right leg was not quite strong enough.

He and I are both noticing that his right leg does move more easily in a stride than it ever has before. Slowly, ever slowly, his body is waking up!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, October 23, 2006 7:31 PM CDT

I got Sean up this morning and gave him a shower and then we were off to go to school. I dropped him off and ran a few errands while he was in his first class and then brought lunch back to him.

We ate in the cafeteria with his friend, Timothy, and then we had to go on to his afternoon class. I always sit with one of the other mothers. She says that I am her therapist.

When we left school we hit Dallas rush hour and it was absolutely horrible in our south bound lane on 75. We managed to get down as far as our grocery store at Lemmon and 75, and Sean stayed in the truck while I ran in and got chili makings for tonight and a brisket for the slow cooker tomorrow.

Throughout my day, I think about all kinds of profound things to share with you, but I come in so tired, I am lucky to just jot down a note about our day. Someday, I will write the book.

We are now wrapping up our day with a little TV. I have clothes to fold and dishes to do, so will sign off.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, October 22, 2006 8:41 PM CDT

Bob got home from hunting Saturday evening just as I was getting Sean to bed. All of us were pretty worn out. Bob had gone down to the deer lease with his buddies on Friday morning. They were getting the camp ready for opening weekend, the first one in November.

I think I turned the light off about 9:30. I woke up before 7, and went out and got the Sunday paper at the box on the other side of the apartments. I was able to sit here drinking my coffee for nearly an hour and a half before Sean woke up. When I went into his room, he had his bed up like a recliner, and had "Sunday Morning" on, so I just climbed in beside him and we watched the last half hour together.

We did a total "Chillax" today. In fact, I have done pretty much nothing except read the paper and knit today. It felt so good!

Sean has spent the day with his Rolltalk again. He is still trying to get things in the program exactly how he wants it.

Our hectic week begins again in the morning. Hope all of you had time for a little rest this week.

Thank you for sharing and thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Saturday, October 21, 2006 5:44 PM CDT

Sean and I made it to Parkland and checked into Radiology, as instructed, by 7:30 a.m. We then went to ultrasound where Sean was scheduled to have the Doppler ultrasound of his legs to visualize blood flow and make sure there were not any clots. When we got there we, we found that someone had canceled the procedure. A typical Parkland snaffu had occured, probably because I had told the scheduler who had originally called that I did not want the procedure on Tuesday. I called back and scheduled it for Friday, and somehow the wires got crossed.

Oh well, the radiologist came out and talked to us and took the responsibility of getting everything sorted out so once again, Sean was "on" the schedule. Michelle, his ultrasound tech was so wonderful and she shared with us details of what she was seeing as she preformed the test. We saw the venous flow and the arterial flow and learned that the veins never collapse as the heart pumps, however, arteries do. Sean's circulatory system looked great and although she did not think there were clots, a radiologist had to read the tests and make the final determination that Sean was cleared for the IVC filter removal. Uncle Rick came hobbling in to check on his nephew. 10 days after a really extensive knee surgery and barely able to walk in, he had made the effort to get to Parkland. Sean and I really do love him! He has been there anytime Sean has had to face a new procedure, to support and cheer him on!

The radiologist said Sean passed! We then went to interventional radiology where we sat, and we sat, and we sat. Actually, Sean laid and he laid, because by this time he was ready to have the procedure, all gowned and wearing his IV needle, just waiting for the doctors. Since all interventional procedures are done in this unit, and luckily, according to Parkland's practices, traumas go first. Since there is no way to determine the number of them, patients are often bumped back because they are not "critical". Although it was annoying for Sean because he had nothing to eat or drink since 10 p.m. the night before. He was so very thirsty and it was 12:30. Finally, I had to tell the staff that if Sean did not go soon, we were going to leave and we would try again perhaps at Baylor. The charge nurse came over to us and explained to Sean that although she understood, she told us that she had no way of knowing how much longer it would be because of the severity of the illness of the other people who were waiting. She told Sean that if he promised to just suck on them and take just a very few, she would let him have some ice chips.

The ice, did the trick and Sean was able to make it until it was "his" turn. When they took him back, I took a few minutes to run down to the Parkland McDonalds to get a cup of coffee. The charge nurse was on her way down to lunch so she offered to show me the way. She told me as we walked that Sean had already charmed all of her staff. She said that so many young people come in and they are angry and bitter because of the lot they had been dealt in life. Elizabeth said that Sean just exuded a goodness and kindness, and a sense of hope, and they all felt it. Yes, as a mother, I am truly blessed!

Sean sailed right through the procedure and he was so funny when I went back to sit with him while he recovered. He had a goofy grin on his face, and even though he was just using his spelling board and not his Rolltalk, he was in a "chattering" kind of mood. He talked and he talked!

Once he was discharged he decided that he still wanted to go to the Friends of Hope Day Camp in Denison and he wanted to go Friday evening. So we ran home, I left him in the truck. I flew into the apartment and rapidly packed us up and got us headed out right in the middle of rush hour! (Mistake but oh well). We met, Ben, Cheryl and Calem at Abuelo's in Plano and had dinner and then Sean, Calem and I, headed on up to Sherman where we spent the night.

We got up and went to Southside Baptist Church and Sean was so excited that his spasticity was really kicking him. His right arm and right leg were as stiff as they could be. Calem and I went to Whitesboro to the Peanut Festival while Sean was there enjoying the fellowship of fellow survivors. He was so happy to see all of his therapists and Justin McKenzie, Chase Ward, Brittanye, Emily and others.

Calem and I ended up making a really fast trip. It was so crowded in downtown Whitesboro at the Peanut Festival that we made one quick trip through Main Street and headed over to McDonalds so that Calem could play for awhile.

When we arrived back at Southside, Shirley Case had stopped by the church to visit with Sean as long as he was in Denison. I was so glad to get back in time to enjoy a visit with her as well. Sean was obviously exhausted. About an hour before the camp was over he told me that he was wiped out and thought he was ready to go home.

We arranged to meet Cheryl on Hwy 75 in Richardson and Calem went home with her. Sean and I are now at home. He is relaxing on the couch watching TV. He told me that he wants to "Chillax" tomorrow. Yes, I had to ask too. That means, Chill and Relax.

This is where we will be. Sean will have a much deserved Day of Rest. We hope you all are enjoying a wonderful weekend. The weather is beautiful here in North Texas.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, October 19, 2006 8:52 PM CDT

This will be a short entry tonight.

Sean had morning class, and then we ran home and had lunch and loaded back up and drove out to Colleyville for Hippotherapy. Sean had a good ride and an even better walk.

Lisa Stajduhar, his PT and owner of the stables, used to be a professor, teaching PT at TWU. She is so good with Sean and you can see the teacher in her as she explains to Sean the mechanics of his walking and shows him and tells him what he needs to do to correct his gait and improve his stride.

Everyone of Sean's physical therapists have brought special talent to Sean's progress. He has been so blessed to have been with each one of them. Looking back, I can not think of one who would have been better than another. Each one of them has been perfect for the particular phase of his journey that he was on. Now he is intellectually and physically ready for this part of the journey with Lisa.

We got home about 6, had dinner, and then Sean got his shower. It is now nearly 9, and we are trying to finish up the day so we can get to bed and get up in time to get to Parkland by 7 a.m. Hopefully they will be able to start his procedure right away.

Hopefully we will have enough time to come home and take a good nap and then we will drive up to pick up Calem. He is going to be our little buddy overnight and all day Saturday. Cheryl has to work and Ben is joining his Source teammates and will be running in the Susan G. Koman Race for the Cure Saturday morning.

If Sean is feeling good when his procedure is over we will be in Denison on Saturday for the Friends of Hope Day Camp at Southside Baptist Church. He and Chase Ward have been text messaging about it this week. Sean is looking forward to seeing him and Justin McKenzie, fellow survivors, as well as Emily, and Brittanye, and others who he has met over the past 19 months.These camps are always good because each of the Survivors realizes that they are not in this battle alone.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, October 18, 2006 7:06 PM CDT

The weather this evening is cooling off fast. We have used the AC very little this week. Each afternoon when we come in from school or hippotherapy I have opened the windows. Tonight I actually have already had to close them, I was getting cold. Isn't it wonderful?

I sent an e-mail to Warren Maher at S&S High School, Sean's alma mater, and to Debbie Wolff, at Allen ISD, to see if they could be our champions and try to get us a forum at their schools to discuss the danger of riding with friends who are drunk. The ball may be rolling at Allen ISD and we are hoping that we can talk to students there sometime this year.

Once we do a couple of speeches, we are hoping that doors will open elsewhere.

Contacs took 20 minutes this morning. Actually, we got the right one in on the very first try. It was the left one that was a pain today!

I was just reviewing my previous journal entries. I don't think that I told you that when Sean walked after he got off of Dixie yesterday, Lisa had him working on pushing his walker himself. He has never done this. He has always needed someone managing the walker for him. He still needs a great deal of help, but Lisa just walked behind him yesterday with one hand on his gait belt, and Iris was beside him assisting him with a hand on his gait belt and one on the walker. Lisa feels like he has made big improvements just since he started with her three weeks ago.

Tomorrow afternoon we will be going to Hippotherapy again and then we will come home, shower and try to get to bed early. We have to be at Parkland between 6:30 and 7 a.m. so that Sean can have his vena cava filter removed.

To all of you, as Susan Bouge said. We may not see you often, perhaps we will never meet in person, but "You are in our Hearts".

Thank you for sharing and Thank you for caring.
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, October 17, 2006 7:28 PM CDT

Our day started really early this morning. I had to get up and shower at 5:30 and then right away went in and woke Sean up. We had to get ready to go see Dr. Thomas (and Dawn) for a Baclofen Pump adjustment. Sean wanted to be sure that we had time to get his contacs in. Only 20 minutes this morning!

Dr. T said that a lot of his patients call in as Fall begins and feel the need to increase their Baclofen. I guess there is something to do with the cooler temperatures that affect spasticity.

As soon as we were finished there we went directly to college. Sean made it a few minutes early. When class was over we headed for home for lunch and then headed right out again for Hippotherapy.

Sean seemed to mount easier today. Lisa, his PT, thinks that the Baclofen increase has already helped. He seemed to sit the horse more easily. We started out on Apache, but he is an old horse and Sean was too heavy for him today so he got back up on Dixie. Lisa said that she is going to save Dixie just for Sean. She thinks that her lameness might be okay if Sean is the only one riding her.

The boys who volunteer at the stables all like to tease Sean. They are so good to give their time to work out there.

I got an e-mail from MADD today. Did you know 1,569 people were killed on Texas roads in 2005 due to alcohol-related traffic crashes?

I wonder how many survived? We know of one!!!!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, October 16, 2006 8:55 PM CDT

Eryn, you are right. Sean really wants us to be able to go to schools in the spring before prom and end of the year parties to tell them about his life. I don't know if this will be the year, but we are going to work toward that goal. We both feel the same way. If there is just one person whose life we could impact, it would seem like Sean's experience would have some reason.

We are back in a more normal swing of things today and I don't feel quite as stressed. We both woke up early today. I thought Sean might fall asleep while I showered, but that didn't happen. So, after I got ready, I got him up and in the shower and we struggled with his contacs (yes, this is actually the correct spelling). This morning we did it in just under 20 minutes. I felt pretty good. We had shaved 40 minutes off of the first day that we had inserted them!

This was Sean's long and late day, and we had to go in the rain, but at least in had slacked up somewhat by the time we got to the campus so we weren't drowned. This afternoon we must have hit a traffic "window" because it only took us 20 minutes to get home this afternoon.

I cooked dinner and helped Sean with a crossword puzzle that he had to do for homework. Tomorrow he has to get up early to go to Dr. Thomas for a Baclofen Pump adjustment. Then we will go straight to school, dash home for lunch then head out to Hippotherapy.

Our week has begun!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, October 15, 2006 8:39 PM CDT

Sean started Saturday with a shower and then he had an appointment with our optometrist. We needed to get new frames for him because he has pretty much worn the frames out pulling them off with his left hand. We were going by the optometrists office every couple of weeks to have them tightened but it just was not lasting because of the constant pressure of him pulling them off with one hand. As long as he was getting new frames he thought he should have his eyes checked to see if he needed a different prescription.

While we were sitting there he told me that he really wanted to start wearing contacts again. When we told Dr. Marx, I thought he would discourage Sean, but he told him as long as we always took them out he did not have a problem with him trying. Because of the fitting required, it ended up taking us almost 4 hours at his office. We did take a break and eat lunch at the pizzaria next to his office, but our Saturday was pretty much shot. Sean did get his contacts, and I am now the one who has to take them out and put them in. Before lunch Dr. Marx had inserted both of them. It took him quite some time because Sean kept clamping his eye shut everytime the doc got his finger near his eye.

When we returned from lunch, the doctor had me take one out and put it back in. I began to get a little frustrated, however, we finally managed to get it inserted.

We planned on meeting Lois and Ron Richardson, Sharon and Tony Roberts, and Sharon's son Brandon Vessels and his wife, Amanda, their sons' Hunter and Cody in Decatur at Sweetie Pie's Ribeyes. Tony's daughter Melinda Milner and Lois and Ron's grandson, Michael (who is visiting from Florida), also joined us.

As soon as Sean and I were finished at the eye doctor's we ran home to pick up Bob and headed out to Decatur. It was such a beautiful evening weather wise, but rain was definitely in the air. There were 13 of us for dinner. I wouldn't drive back to Sweetie Pie's for the dinner, but definitely would go again to join the company! It was unfortunate however, because the rain had started as we were leaving the restaurant so instead of being able to sit out on the square and visit, Bob and I thought we better get Sean and his wheelchair loaded up.

We are going to have to plan on getting together with all of them again soon because it really does feel like family.

When we woke up Sunday morning it was raining. Bob was going to spend the day at the shop getting all of his hunting gear ready for deer season. He and his buddies are going to meet at the deer lease next weekend to get everything set up. Then opening weekend, they will just have to haul food, water and ice down there.

Sean slept long enough for me to get up and shower and read the paper for about an hour. He woke up about 9, which was good for him and I really needed the little bit of time in solitude.

Our life together is getting easier. It really is. However, every now and then we have a day that just feels like my time is totally consumed by Sean. Today was one of those days. From the time he got up until just a few minutes ago when he decided to get in bed, I have been doing things for him. The contac lens insersion was only the first of many things that I had to do. It took us close to a solid hour to get them both into his eyes. I am really ready to through in the towel on them, but I feel as though it will get easier as he gets more used to someones fingers in his eyes. I figure as long as he is willing to sit there and let me try to get them in, then I am willing to do it. I told him there might be days when I just don't have the patience, but I would really work with him and we would try to get better.

I had almost given up this morning when I managed to get his right contac in. I noticed that he had kind of exhaled and his eye seemed to open big enough at the same time. We both decided that maybe if he would try to blow on his whistle, he might be able to relax his eyes enough that I could get the other one in. We were both so excited because it worked!

Then late this afternoon, he screwed up his Rolltalk software again. In trying to fix it, he attempted to do a system restore to his operating system which really screwed things up! I had just spent about 3 solid hours on the phone on Friday with a tech from Norway who helped me get everything working properly on his Rolltalk again, so you can imagine my frustration with Sean for crashing things again.

After I fixed dinner and we ate, I had to sit down with his Rolltalk computer and reinstall the software again. This time it only took me about an hour to get everything working again.

I told Bob this evening that I really need a break from Sean. Not a permanent one. Just a few hours doing things around here with nothing needed of me except what I am working on. Unfortunately, that is a luxury that I will not have.

Instead, we will say our prayers like we do each evening. I will kiss Sean goodnight, and we will both fall asleep. We will wakeup tomorrow and do it all again. Would I have it any other way? Not really. I thank God everyday that Sean is still on this earth with me. I am truly blessed. I still have three beautiful sons and the love of a truly good man.

Thank you for sharing and Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, October 13, 2006 6:29 PM CDT

Bono and Oprah kicked off Bono's "Red Campaign" to help battle pediatric AIDS in Africa. It is such a wonderful thing that they are doing, but I keep thinking about the more than 5 million adults living in the United States with brain injuries. There is no one famous who has probably even thought about what a tragedy it can be and how money is needed for research to try to "cure" this affliction.

Can you imagine: (Information Obtained from the Brain Injury Association of America's website)

Of the 1.4 million who sustain a TBI each year in the United States:

50,000 die;
235,000 are hospitalized; and
1.1 million are treated and released from an emergency department.1
The number of people with TBI who are not seen in an emergency department or who receive no care is unknown.

What causes TBI?

The leading causes of TBI are:

Falls (28%);
Motor vehicle-traffic crashes (20%);
Struck by/against (19%); and
Assaults (11%).1
Blasts are a leading cause of TBI for active duty military personnel in war zones.2

Who is at highest risk for TBI?

Males are about 1.5 times as likely as females to sustain a TBI.1
The two age groups at highest risk for TBI are 0 to 4 year olds and 15 to 19 year olds.1
Certain military duties (e.g., paratrooper) increase the risk of sustaining a TBI.3
African Americans have the highest death rate from TBI.1

What are the costs of TBI?

Direct medical costs and indirect costs such as lost productivity of TBI totaled an estimated $56.3 billion in the United States in 1995.4

What are the long-term consequences of TBI?

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimates that at least 5.3 million Americans currently have a long-term or lifelong need for help to perform activities of daily living as a result of a TBI.5

According to one study, about 40% of those hospitalized with a TBI had at least one unmet need for services one year after their injury. The most frequent unmet needs were:

Improving memory and problem solving;
Managing stress and emotional upsets;
Controlling one's temper; and
Improving one's job skills.6
TBI can cause a wide range of functional changes affecting thinking, sensation, language, and/or emotions. It can also cause epilepsy and increase the risk for conditions such as Alzheimer's disease, Parkinson's disease, and other brain disorders that become more prevalent with age.7

Can you imagine a star standing next to a handsome young man who has contracted hands, occasionally drools because his brain has forgotten to automatically swallow, who sometimes chokes as he drinks because drinking no longer comes automatically, and who has forgotten how to walk or talk? A young man who is so intelligent that he realizes exactly how his body betrays him and feels that nearly all of his friends have left him behind? Sean can't either.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, October 12, 2006 8:17 PM CDT

The song, "If You're Going Through Hell", is by Rodney Atkins on the CD with the same title. The tune was stuck in my head overnight. I woke up singing it this morning.

Sean rode a different horse today. Dixie has come up lame so she is going to rest for a couple of weeks. He rode a tri colored Paint gelding named Apache today and will do so until Dixie is better. I will put some pictures of them up this weekend. I think it is probably good for Sean to have a chance to be on another horse. Apache is as tall as Dixie, but is not a draft horse so he moves more and is narrower. This requires Sean to become even more aware of the way his horse is moving. Dixie has gotten him started, now he is experiencing another level of difficulty.

When we came home this evening we were both starving so we ate dinner before Sean got his shower. He had gone into his bedroom and I was trying to get the dishes in the dishwasher real quickly before I went in there to get him ready. I heard a faint "yell" from the bedroom and I went in there and he was laying over the right arm of his wheelchair. He had tried to bend down and lift his footplates up and just turned over. Luckily, I had gone right in there because I don't think he had the energy to call me again, plus I don't think that he would have hung there much longer.

Then when I goth him into the tub, his tone kicked in and his right leg went straight out and his foot was pointed in with the side of his foot thrust against the tub. I could tell that it was really hurting. I was trying with all of my might to get his knee to bend and it was like a piece of steel. Sean was in so much pain but I could not get him to relax enough to bend his leg. I finally ended up pulling it up and propping it on the edge of the tub, and we were able to finish his shower.

Well, another day is almost gone. At least the weekend will start after tomorrow.

Thank you for sharing and Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, October 11, 2006 6:59 PM CDT

We don't know anything yet about the x'rays. My philosophy is No News is Good News. If there had been something glaringly wrong, I am sure we would hear about it right away.

Sean actually enjoyed our trip down to Radiology at Big Baylor. A lot of the staff remembered Sean from all his trips over there while he was in BIR. They were all so nice and several of them made a point of stopping by to tell him "Hello". The x-ray technician who actually took the films, Dale, was one who had xrayed Sean several times in the past. He was so kind to Sean and talked to him during the entire time. He was very concerned about getting good views of Sean's hip so he actually took an extra film in an unusual position to make sure that the radiologist would be able to see if there was anything wrong.

I don't know if Sean is special or if people in these professions are just really good at remembering things. Dale even remembered that Sean had a twin brother, Todd, and he asked about him as well.

One of Sean's "old" speech therapists from Baylor Specialty Hospital was also there. She looked up and saw us waiting in the holding area and came right over to find out how Sean was doing.

Sean listened to the words of a song today that he has decided is "his" song. It's "If you're going through hell...Read this and see if you don't agree.

Well you know those times
When you feel like there's a sign there on your back
Say's I don't mind if ya kick me
Seems like everybody has
Things go from bad to worse
You'd think they can't get worse than that
And then they do

You step off the straight and narrow
And you don't know where you are
Use the needle of your compass
To sew up your broken heart
Ask directions from a genie
In a bottle of Jim Beam
And she lies to You
That's when you learn the truth

If you're going through hell
Keep on going, Don't slow down
If you're scared, don't show it
You might get out
Before the devil even knows you're there

Well I been deep down in that darkness
I been down to my last match
Felt a hundered different demons
Breathing fire in my back
And I knew that if I stumbled
I'd fall right into the trap that they were laying, Yeah

But the good news
Is there's angels everywhere out on the street
Holding out a hand to pull you back upon your feet
The one's that you been dragging for so long
You're on your knees
You might as well be praying
Guess what I'm saying
If you're going through hell
Keep on going, Don't slow down
If you're scared, don't show it
You might get out
Before the devil even knows you're there

Thank you for being Sean's "Angels on the Street".

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, October 10, 2006 9:31 PM CDT

We are both so happy that Kevin has made the commitment and has been saved.

Sean and I have had another whirlwind day. In fact it was so busy and tomorrow promises to be the same way. We had to go to college in the downpour and it was much more difficult today than it was on the first day of school that was also a rainy day.

The rain was coming down so hard that it was extremely difficult for me to get Sean's chair to him and keep it dry. Then his seat comes out of the truck so slowly that we also had to deal with keeping him dry. I had actually put his pancho on him before I got him out of the truck so that helped somewhat. At least when it was time to leave the rain had let up somewhat so we were able to get back in the truck without the trouble we had when we first unloaded.

We made a pit stop at the apartment and then went on to Colleyville. We just had time to eat in the truck at Taco Bueno before Sean's hippotherapy. When we drove up, Lisa needed help with a little autistic rider. I was a side walker and had to help hold her on her pony. She was so cute and the whole time she was riding she was wriggling all over the pony. We had to hold her hands down on her knees. The entire time she would make this high pitched squeal. She reminded me of a little bird calling for it's Mom.

After Sean's therapy, we loaded up and headed home, arriving about 5:30. Sean had a shower, then I got to take one and we were finally able to sit down to eat at 7:30.

Sean had me put him in bed just now. I am taking him to Baylor in the morning to have hip and pelvis xrays. He has been having pain in his right hip joint since he started riding. His therapists thinks it is probably just muscle pain because he has not really sat in the positions he is when he rides. However, it is also the joint that has 4 screws in, so we feel that we just have to be sure that there is nothing wrong with either the head of his femur or his pelvis.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, October 9, 2006 8:15 PM CDT

Last night ended late and today started early. We were at the prosthodontist's office (Sean's doctor who made his palatel lift) at 9 this morning. Then Sean felt the urge to run home and use the restroom before school. We dashed home unloaded, ran inside, ran back out and loaded again and he was in his 11:15 class at 11:14. We got back home at 5 this evening.

I found out that Sean is going to have a procedure much like a heart cath. He had a vena cava filter placed as a prophylaxis on March 29, 2005. It was inserted to catch any blood clots that might form and migrate to his heart. Apparently it is not at all uncommon for someone who has a femur fracture to throw a clot. I did not know that it was supposed to be removed at some point until I got a call from one of the interventional radioligists at Parkland last week.

Sean will go in for an ultrasound and if there is no evidence of clots in his legs he will have the procedure to remove it the same day. The doctor assured me there is minimal risk. I had to verify this with Sean's physical medicine specialist because I had no idea whether this was a necessary procedure. After reassurance from Dr. Thomas that it really needed to be removed, I called Parkland back. Now I am waiting for them to call and schedule the procedure. It is supposed to be a same day surgery or at most just an overnight stay.

Oh, I forgot to share this news and it is just one more positive baby step and indicator that Sean is continually improving. He and I have noticed over the past week that he has gagged himself while brushing his teeth. Up until this time he has had absolutely no gag reflex which means that the muscles in his throat have not been working. We shared the news with Dr. Gonzales, the prosthodontist, and he tested Sean and sure enough, a gag! This is so positive for Sean's speech. It means that the muscles are awakening.

Sean also found out that he has completed a total of 75 credit hours of college. He told me that it usually takes about 120 hours to graduate so he has just about 35 to go! He is applying to UTA and UTD for the spring of 2007. Hopefully we will be celebrating his graduation in 2008.

We are both really tired now, but happy that we shared another day together.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, October 8, 2006 5:51 PM CDT

Sean and I went to church this morning and will be going again this evening so that he can attend the young peoples' group meeting. His friend, Timothy, from college, is going to meet him at the church so that they can attend together. I will spend the hour or so visiting with Tim's Mom, so it will be enjoyable for both of us.

Ben, Cheryl, Shaya and Calem visited us after church this afternoon. Shaya made brownies. She was "bored" as young teenagers often get, so she thought brownies would be a good way to spend her time.

Sean and I are watching the Cowboy game now. We are sure hoping for a Dallas win, but this game is so close it is hard to predict. I guess Sean and I are "fair weather" fans as far as the Cowboys are concerned, but the Philadelphia fans have talked so much trash our Texas feathers are ruffled. It would be so nice to have them win.

Bob just got home and is taking a little nap. He wears himself out working all week and he had started this past one sick. Although he is better, I think he needs a few extra hours of rest this afternoon.

We hope that you have had a good weekend.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Saturday, October 7, 2006 7:50 PM CDT

Hook 'em Horns! Boy, they did again this year. Sean's Oklahoma buddy, Kevin, told Sean that he couldn't watch the game right then so he wasn't going to read any of Sean's Text Messages. Sean had sent him "Hook em Horns" at the beginning of the game. At the end of the game he sent another message, "Don't bother watching. Horns won again!"

Sean's software DVD came before noon today. I had to run buy an external CD/DVD player so that we could load the software. I had to wait until the package was delivered because I didn't want to have to leave Sean to answer the door and sign for the package. I also ran to the grocery store while I was out. When I got home I put the groceries away and then sat down to reinstall Sean's software.

It took about a half an hour and when I had it loaded, I could not figure out how to load Sean's pages. All this time, Sean had been downloading all of his CD's to the laptop so that he could put them back onto his iPod. That is another story entirely. I got Sean to look at his Rolltalk and in just a few minutes he figured out how to Synch the program up. We were both so excited!

Bob has gone down to the deer lease. He is trying to get things ready for Deer Season. Evening is now here. Sean has loaded all 726 songs onto his iPod and we are watching Dateline.The episodes tonight were about the school killings that occurred this past week. The loss that other parents have had to face is so great. It makes me once again realize how lucky I truly am. Sean is here. No matter how hard life has been getting to this point, I can always reach over and hug him. My hearts are heavy for those other parents.

I have another prayer request. My brother has just had surgery on a knee and an elbow. The doctor has given him some rather scary news. He is over producing calcium which could indicate a problem with his parathyroid, or it could be a symptom of osteomyelitis. Neither one of those diagnosis are good. We call him "Uncle Rick (Reddick)". Please add him to your prayers.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Saturday, October 7, 2006 7:12 AM CDT

Thursday night, right before bedtime, Sean accidently did something while programming his Rolltalk and he can no longer access the program. He has been "without" voice since then. I called our vendor and they are overnighting, Saturday delivery, a DVD with the program on it so that I can reinstall it. When I talked to our vendor yesterday I told him if it required a "road trip", Sean and I would drive to wherever it was to pick it up. I am so thankful that they are going to be able to get the DVD to us today.

Because Sean could not access Rolltalk, he sat at the computer from the time we came in from Hippotherapy until bedtime last night. This meant that I could not get on the computer and update our website.

We will be attending the Friends of Hope Day Camp in Denison on the 21st. Yes, Shirley, it is because of Justin McKenzie and Chase Ward, that it is being held up there. Dr. Carlile is glad we are going out of Dallas, because she thinks it is something new to offer to the folks who are regular attenders. They try to have these day camps 3 or 4 times a year. We are looking forward to going. Sean will be able to spend time with many of his BIR therapists who will be attending also.

Brenda, I hope your headache is better now. Headaches can be real debilitating sometimes, especially if it "hangs on" for days.

I would like to ask all of you to pray for Billy Poet, Sean and Todd's friend Jeremey's Dad. Billy was diagnosed with some type of cancer a few weeks ago and will start chemo and radiation therapy this week. He and all of his family could use extra prayers.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, October 5, 2006 8:35 PM CDT

We had another great day today. Sean rode Dixie again this afternoon and when he got off he walked with just me as his walker, the length of the barn. Lisa, his Hippotherapy PT was behind him with her hands on his hips and he did not lean back at all.

When we got home this evening, he wanted to walk some more so I drove his wheelchair over to the mailboxes and then using me again as his walker, we walked to his chair! Then we did the shower walk again. I am worn out but Sean is so happy! It makes my soreness and tiredness worthwhile.

Sean and I are so busy now. We are always on the run. I am getting nothing done at home but as long as Sean is making progress it is all so worthwhile!!!

There are now nearly 108,000 hits on our website and the Caringbridge has archived the old entries so that the guestbook will pull up easier. Please go back to "older guestbook entries" if you would like to read some of the messages.

Thank you for sharing and Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, October 4, 2006 7:10 PM CDT

We had a first today!!! Sean had to get in the shower when he woke up and I told him that we needed to just "walk" in to the bathroom instead of me putting him on the rolling transfer chair. So, we walked! I am his "walker". He puts both hands on my shoulders and I walk backwards and he walks. Afterwards we walked into his bedroom to his wheelchair.

If you had only been here when he first started taking showers at home and it would take Ben, Bob and I, all three to get him into the tub and hold him on the shower chair while he got showered. Now, he and I do it alone and he can even walk into the bathroom! We were both so excited!

Sean was upset this afternoon. He has a flash drive that he saves all of his class files on and he accidently moved his files off of it, onto the school computer but he can't figure out where they are. For those of you really familiar with a computer you can understand this. Sean only has one hand and he cannot get it open enough to easily use the mouse and click the buttons and roll it at the same time. It has nothing to do with his skill level, it is just the lack of mobility of his hands. He was just beside himself when I went into class to get him when it was over.

Danny came down from Denison this evening and visited for a little while. It has been sometime since Sean has seen him so they had some catching up to do.

Thank you for all of your messages today. Brenda, you are right "New Balance"!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, October 3, 2006 6:38 PM CDT

Bob is feeling much better today. Getting a good night's rest last night really helped him. So far, so good, Sean and I have not gotten sick although I was really worrying about it during our drive out to Colleyville for Sean's hippotherapy session this afternoon. My stomach was really rolling and I have had a horrible headache all day. I decided that it is probably just the headache making my stomach unsettled, however. At least I hope that is all that is going on.

Sean did so well today while riding Dixie. He rode for a solid hour. He is now pretty much able to keep himself centered in the middle of her without requiring anyone to actually hang on to his gait belt to keep him upright. He also did several laps around the arena riding sideways. This helps him strengthen his abductors. The wind was really blowing and the dust was swirling all around him. His grin was so big I was worried that he was going to end up with a mouthful of dust. I don't think it would have mattered to him. He just could not stop smiling. If you know Sean, you know what I am talking about.

Thank you everyone for leaving entries in the guestbook. Coach St. John, it was good to hear from you. He used to be one of Sean's football coaches when Sean was in highschool at S&S.

To all of you, Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, October 2, 2006 6:51 PM CDT

Yesterday evening Bob had gone for a run and when he came in he got deathly ill. He vomitted off and on from about 8 p.m. until 3 a.m. this morning. He is such a trooper though, he got up this morning and was out the door at 7 to open the shop.

He is now home and is feeling a little better, although he is extremely tired from his rough night. He is trying to eat a little something and then is going to go to bed really early.

Sean's morning class did not meet this morning so we had a really leisurely morning. It was nice not having to rush right out the door. Tomorrow he has a morning class and then we will drive over to Colleyville, eat lunch and then have Hippotherapy with Dixie again. Sean will now be having PT via the horse, 3 times a week. He will have ST and OT in addition to PT with the horse on Fridays. We are so excited!

Thank you for sharing and Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, October 1, 2006 7:50 PM CDT

We met Ben and Cheryl at 9 a.m. this morning and made the trek to Canton. It is really not that far from Dallas and we were there within about one hour. I think everyone else had the same idea because by noon everywhere we went was really crowded.

As soon as we got there we passed a vendor selling wooden signs and Sean spotted one that he wanted to buy for me. We have this expression that we say to each other, "I love you bigger than the sky". Well, there was a sign that said, "I Love You to the Moon and Back". Sean spelled to me, "That is really a long, long, way, and I want to buy that for you."

That turned out to be almost the only thing that we bought. Our other purchase was several cast iron stars that Bob needs to complete a project that he is building for me.

We didn't make it to church today, and Sean didn't go this evening. But we know that he'll forgive us. We had a great day enjoying the beautiful day and each other as a family.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Saturday, September 30, 2006 8:54 PM CDT

Today has been a lazy day, but that's ok. I took Sean to the eye doctor's today to get his glasses tightened. We wound through the backstreets of Dallas driving past White Rock Lake, rather than getting out on the highway. The Lake was beautiful and many people were out enjoying the weather.

We came home and Sean took almost a 3 hour nap! Tomorrow, Ben, Cheryl, the kids and Sean and I, are driving down to Canton to go to First Monday Trades Days. Cheryl has never been and I know she will enjoy it. Sean and I were going to go down there today but we decided that we would rather spend the day with Ben and Cheryl so we waited to go with them tomorrow.

Hope all of you are enjoying your weekend,

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, September 29, 2006 8:04 PM CDT

Thank you so very much for your messages today. They were all so heartwarming. Sometimes I get so sad and I cannot even explain it. There are close family members and friends who were once close who have just dropped out of our lives. The voices of our Army of Angels always sustain us and lift us up, and we appreciate everytime someone lets us know they are still with us on this journey.

Sean had his Hippotherapy (Horse therapy) today. It was exactly what he needed to motivate him again. I think that not only is the therapy itself helping him, but being outside and feeling the sun on him also helps improve his spirits.

He rode Dixie for a solid half hour today and then he worked with his speech therapist. We have definitely added two more sessions each week with the physical therapist and the horse. He will now ride Tuesday, Thursday and Friday afternoons. Evidence that riding will help him was obvious to me today. After he rode, we got his walker and he walked the width of the barn. I walked him while Lisa kept her hands on his abdomen to feel how his muscles were working. Normally when I walk him with his walker he leans on me so much that my shoulders and back start hurting. Today he did not really lean on me much at all. Lisa, his PT, says it is because his brain is getting more in tune with where his body is in space. This is after two sessions. I am just praying that with the additional sessions each week, his brain will really start connecting with his body.

When we got home, Sean was pretty exhausted. I helped him with his shower and then he had to lay down for awhile. I let him sleep for about an hour. Now this evening, he was sitting here in his wheelchair working on sit-ups. This is a first in a couple of weeks. Sean had lost his motivation, but he told me tonight that "That little bit of walking made me get my motivation back."

Thank you for sharing and Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, September 28, 2006 7:57 PM CDT

Sean came rolling up after his morning class with a huge smile on his face. After we loaded up into the truck he spelled to me. "What an absolutely beautimous day!" Beautiful days like today really help anyone's gloomy mood.

We had a long discussion today and decided, rather than start a flex class next week, Sean is going to add more hippotherapy. He has been scheduled for just one day a week, but with no other therapy, he is slipping into a doldrum. Not wanting that to happen, and recognizing that physical activity will make him happier, we made the decision to skip the class and add the therapy. I called Lisa Stajduhar and she knows that she can add Tuesday and thinks she will be able to move people around and do Thursday afternoon as well. We will find out for sure tomorrow when Sean has therapy tomorrow afternoon.

It will mean that we will be driving down I35 during evening rush hour. But it will be worth it to have Sean back in a routine therapy schedule.

I heard a partial interview that Brian Williams, NBC news anchor, did with Elizabeth(?) Edwards, wife of John Kerry's running mate during the last presidential elections. At the end of the campaign she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She has written a book about her struggle with survival. She told Brian that the word that comes to mind when she thinks about the way women have rallied around her is "sisterhood". I have talked to many mothers and other family members of loved ones with brain injuries. Sisterhood is not the common word used. Abandonment is more like it. I feel it. Sean feels it. And most others affected by TBI feel it.

My source of strength has been the words that are written in Sean's guestbook. None have been more appreciated than the constant entries of Jama and Brenda. And Lois and Shirley Case, I enjoy so much seeing that you are still with us. It is amazing the number of people who I once would have thought would never be far from our lives, have not really been with us at all. I have made a few new friends. But, Abandonment, it truly describes the life that we lead.

Thank you, Army of Angels for your sometimes vocal, but always constant support. Without you we really would be Abandoned.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, September 27, 2006 8:39 PM CDT

Today was our long day at school. I worked on my knitting during the last half of the day. I am horrible, but after pulling it out once, I decided to just go with it. Use this scarf as a rag and maybe by the time I finish it, I will be ready to start one for real.

Sean and I got home after 5, and we did his shower thing and then I had to cook dinner. When I talked to Bob this evening, he told me that he got more work in, so he is working late again this evening and then he has to run by Home Depot. I will have to wrap up so that I can get some chores done.

I am worrying about Sean because he spends all of his time programming his RollTalk. I keep telling him that he has got to do exercises, but he ignores me. There is only so much I can do in a day. I am not discouraged, just a little frazzled.

Sean wore his new shoes to school today. We were laughing because he told me that he was "Pimped". Have you seen that show where old cars are transformed? It's called "Pimp My Ride"? Well, that is what he was talking about. His shoes are Brown, Orange and Tan. Perfect Halloween seasonal shoes. Sean always has liked bright, flashy shoes. Considering his choices are so limited since his shoes have to be able to fit on his feet with braces. In fact, it was a struggle getting them on this morning.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, September 26, 2006 7:23 PM CDT

Today was a short day at school so we didn't encounter the restroom situation again, but we will tomorrow. I still have not cooled down about it, but will try to maintain decorum when I explain our point of view.

Sean and I went to Northpark Mall after class to buy him a new pair of shoes. Since he will be riding each Friday and then walking in the arena his shoes will get really sandy and dirty. He was really getting tired of the ones he had anyone. He has worn them everyday since December. He was due a new pair. Before that we had lunch in the Food Court.

After we got home I dropped him off and then ran up to Farmers Market and got a few vegetables for supper. Sean and I have been praying that Bob's business would be good to help us all financially and to give Bob some peace of mind. We believe our prayers are being answered. He has been so busy that he stayed and worked until 10 last night and he just called this evening and said he will probably work until at least 8. I worry about him after dark because his shop is in a really bad part of downtown, but he doesn't worry about it. The shop has been there since the early 70's so it is like home to him.

Sean has been programming his TV's remote into his RollTalk. We just sat together as he built new keys on his screen. I had to hold the TV remote and press the appropriate key while he did the programming. It is not something a one-handed person can do, but together we accomplished it. He was so proud when he finished programming. In fact, I am extremely proud as well!

I bought some yarn and big knitting needles today. I can barely remember my grandmother teaching me to knit when I was very, very, young. I thought I would try knitting a scarf while I sit and wait on Sean each day. I do so much waiting. I am really not much of a shopper. I quit enjoying that years and years ago before I had my sons. I could read a book as I wait on Sean, but I decided that I would rather do something, so I will knit. When I got back to the school and waited form him this afternoon I managed to knit a couple of rows, however, I will have to take it all out and start again. I never was any good at it and I am really rusty now. It may take me a few tries before I get anything done.

We hope you are enjoying the weather. It has certainly been beautiful down here in Dallas.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, September 25, 2006 6:53 PM CDT

We started the day with a trip to Sean's orthotist. In the foot of his AFO's there was a little ridge that his toes were supposed to go over, but Sean's toes have the same spasticity as his whole body and they would clench and go behind the ridge and he was unable to get them out. The orthotist, filed the ridge out and when we were leaving the office, Sean spelled to me "My toes are finally free!" I had not realized that he has been suffering pain from his AFO's since he got them. His RealLife Rehab PT, Kathy Mitchell, had noticed the problem and asked me to make an appointment to get the ridge removed.

It is just amazing all of the things that I have learned in the course of Sean's journey. Everyday it seems like there is something new.

Sean's classes started shortly after I got him to the campus. I dropped him off and then ran a couple of errands, and went back to meet him for lunch. On Monday and Wednesday, Sean has a long day so we always go to the Health Clinics office to use the restroom. It is the only one on the campus that I can go in with him and not have to worry about anyone walking in on us. I was very aggravated today because they wanted me to fill out "medical information" on Sean. I have a strong sense of their request violating his right to privacy because if we were not having to use that restroom they would not be asking us for this information. No one else in his classes has been asked to release this information. They make me sign his name every time we go into use the restroom, which to me is very wrong anyway. Who else has to sign a piece of paper saying that they are using a restroom? There is not a log for any other bathroom on the campus.

Perhaps I am just being sensitive, but had they requested the information from the entire class of brain injury students, I would not feel this way.

When we got home this evening, Sean wanted me to walk him a little, so we walked into his bedroom and back to the living room. When we got into his room he wanted to sit down on his bead and take a break, but I made him stand up and rest for a minute and then we walked back out to the living room.

Sean went to the College Group meeting at church Sunday evening with Timothy, his classmate and friend. They discussed their Highs and Lows of the previous week. Timothy is facing a major brain surgery that will hopefully stop his seizures. He told everyone that he did not want to talk about his lows. He just wanted to share his Highs. Sean said he only had "Highs", there were no "Lows". Now think about how amazing that is for a young man who is unable to walk or talk, and for Timothy, who suffers regularly from severe seizures. Can you say the same thing for yourself?

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, September 24, 2006 6:42 PM CDT

Sean and I went to church this morning, came home and had a nap, and now are watching the Green Mile. I am going to take Sean to the college age group meeting this evening. He is anxious to have an opportunity to be around people his own age.

Bob is out dove hunting. The weather has been beautiful today. In fact, I turned the air conditioner off and opened our windows all afternoon. I just closed them because as the evening nears, it just does not feel that safe to leave them open here in downtown Dallas.

There isn't really anything else to add about our day. It was restful. Hope yours was as well!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,

Saturday, September 23, 2006 7:29 PM CDT

Things never turn out like we plan, but they do turn out. Ben and Calem came over this morning after Bob's run. Ben and Bob went to the shop during our downpour, where they changed the alternator on Ben's Expedition. Bob was going dove hunting with one of his brothers, but since the rain came down so hard they decided not to do it today. They are supposed to go tomorrow evening instead.

Brian Wible came down and the Rangers plans kind of fell apart, so Ben, and Cheryl are now out to dinner with Sean and Brian. Calem is here asleep on the couch.

I am trying to get floors mopped, but don't know how far my energy will go. At least the kitchen is now done. I stopped for a few minutes just to write this entry and then will try to regain a little motivation and finish the living room this evening. It may not get done until tomorrow, though.

Sean and I are planning on going to church tomorrow morning and he wants to go to young peoples group tomorrow evening. Then the week will start again.

Yes, Dixie will be Sean's horse when he rides each Friday. At this point I do not know how many weeks we will actually do this hippotherapy. My thought is that we will do it as long as we see results. Then we will come back for traditional rehab.

Please pray hard that this therapy will be successful. What a miracle it will be if something triggers Sean's speech! And if we could get actual walking from it as well, what a celebration we would have!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, September 22, 2006 8:44 PM CDT

Sean started Hippotherapy today! He was so very excited. Dixie is the Belgian Draft Horse that he will ride. In fact he rode her for the first time today. I think he went around the arena about 4 times today.

When we arrived, Lisa Stajduhar, PT, and owner of Stadjuhar Stables, showed him around and then we went into the therapy room with his other two therapists, Patricia his new ST and Crystal, his new OT. They did their initial evaluation and assessments on Sean and then took him outside to meet Dixie. He has already tagged her a "Doll". She is very calm, and is just beautiful.

Sean drove his wheelchair up a ramp and then Lisa just transferred him over to Dixie's back, just as if he was transferring onto his bed, or his chair. He sat on a blanket saddle and Lisa ended up attaching stirrups because Sean is unable to keep his legs bent at this point and it was putting too much stress on his inner hip. As soon as his feet went into the stirrups it took the stress off of his hips and he was able to concentrate on the things Lisa was teaching him.

Lisa walked on the left side of Dixie and held Sean's gait belt. I walked on her right side and held Sean's gait belt. Patricia led Dixie and Crystal walked behind watching Sean's positioning on the horse. To dismount, I just lifted Sean's left leg up and over Dixie's neck and then Lisa and Crystal helped him slide right down Dixie's side. They have an old wheelchair that they use on the floor of the arena so that clients good wheelchairs won't be covered in dust.

We were all so excited I didn't get a chance to take a picture of Sean up in the saddle, but I hope you will enjoy the ones that I have put on the website.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, September 21, 2006 8:00 PM CDT

Today we had an ordinary day. But if you compare our ordinary day to your ordinary day, there will be no way to compare. All that matters to each of us is what we experience and live. We can think we understand, but we can never understand unless we walk a mile in each other's shoes. But that's okay. We had an ordinary day.

I dropped Sean off at school today and went to Super Target to while away the time until he was finished with class. I think I have Target memorized by now. I never have to spend much. Maybe pick up a box of cereal, or some wet ones to wash our hands with when I get Sean's lunch in the cafeteria. That's ok, it gives me something to do.

We went up to BIR this afternoon and Sean spent about an hour going around visiting everyone. Everyone treats Sean like a Prince. They say they miss him and I know that he misses all of them.

Tomorrow is our big, big day. Hippotherapy!!! Yeay!!!

Thank you for caring and thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, September 20, 2006 6:51 PM CDT

All day I have had the title of Sean's story, the book I might write someday, on my mind. One is "Life on Hold". The other is "The End is Not Yet Written". The day will come when I will write the book, but I still feel that Sean's journey still is before him so I am not ready.

We both slept in for a little while this morning. Sean slept longer than I did. Then we got up and spent most of the day at school.

Home now, the tiredness is setting in. I don't know what it is about being away from home, but even if the travel is not difficult, I always wind up tired.

We are both looking forward to Sean's first Hippotherapy Day on Friday and then crashing over the weekend.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, September 19, 2006 9:26 PM CDT

We are home! Sean and I had an emotional send-off by Annette, Tobin, Mia and Max. I packed at the hotel this morning while Sean used his RollTalk to check his e-mail messages. Tobin and Annette brought the babies by for one last visit. Everyone had been on different schedules, so it may have been a little easier than having one mass good-bye, but it was still sad to say goodbye to Tobin and his family.

Luckily I had decided that we should go to the airport early because it was much more difficult to go through Security in Minneapolis than DFW, Love Field, or the Albuquerque Airport. I am always amazed at the total self absorption of people as I push Sean through crowds. They are often completely oblivious of anyone other than themselves. I hope that I was not like that prior to Sean's accident. I don't really think that I was.

It is also very frustrating to find ourselves in a huge public facility such as an airport and be unable to locate a bathroom for Sean and I to go in together. I was at my wits end walking around the Northwest Airlines side of the Minneapolis/St. Paul terminal when someone let us know that at another concourse their was a "companion" restroom. We managed to get over there and back and only had to wait about 15 minutes and it was time for us to board the plane.

It was good to see Bob waiting for us at the Dallas side of our trip. I had pushed Sean outside to wait on him and I ran back in and gathered up our bags. We got loaded up and when we got back home we stopped at Baker's Ribs for takeout and came on home. Sean was so glad to get back into his power wheelchair and drive himself down to our apartment.

I have just finished packing our bags - which is unusual. It usually takes me a day or two to unpack, but I have this new trick that I used to pack and it just made the unpacking really easy. Let me share it with you. Lean your suitcase up against the headboard of the bed so that it is positioned as if you were going to pull it, and open it. Fold your slacks in thirds or what ever it takes to stack them in the bottom. Just keep stacking and as the clothes go in they start compressing into the bottom. I was able to pack far more clothes, more neatly than I ever have before. Putting them away was so easy because they really weren't very wrinkled and it was so easy just to grab a stack of hangers and start hanging one at a time. I could not believe how much easier it was to find things in my suitcase either. You could just see the edge of everything within, at a glance and slide it out. Eazy-breezy!

I am happy to share that Eryn's father-in-law is ok! That was wonderful news for all of us.

Thank you all for your kind words. I can not tell you how inspiring it is for Sean and I to read your entries too. The energy flows between us all!

Thank you for sharing and Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, September 18, 2006 7:32 PM CDT

I have tears in my eyes as I write this after reading the notes from Sona and Kelly. Wouldn't it be wonderful to know that you had a job that was devoted to the benefit of others? Particularly when what you did meant so much to people who were surviving personal tragedies?

Toby and Meri-Jac escorted us to the Caringbridge offices today. Everyone there is so warm and friendly. Compassionate people doing compassionate jobs. I can't wait to get home and I will post a picture of Sean, Meri-Jac, Tobin and I, that was taken with the Caringbridge staff. We were so honored to have had the opportunity to meet them and hopefully make them realize how important they have been to all of us during the past 18 months as we have struggled through each day.

It was raining off and on here in Minneapolis today. We were planning on meeting Jen and Annette and all the babies for lunch but because of the rain decided that we would just eat leftovers at Tobin and Annette's home. We had to say our goodbyes to Meri-Jac as she was heading home to North Dakota.

Afterwards, Sean, Annette and I made a trip to the Courage Center. The Courage Center is a transitional rehab for people who have suffered spinal cord injuries and traumatic brain injuries, much like Baylor Institute for Rehab. The facilities and services are very similar.

This evening, Tobin, Eryn and Jen's, Dad, Erv Johnson and his wife, Joanne joined us for the evening. Now they have left to take Jen and baby Ava to the airport for their flight home to Colorado Springs.

Sean and I will fly out tomorrow afternoon. We will leave with heavy hearts and many regrets that we don't live closer to everyone. I think back over the past years of my life, and I miss so much being close to my sister and her wonderful kids. There is something about this family, however. What we have missed of each other in quantity, we make up for in quality. There is such a bond of love between the cousins. I really think that anyone of them would do anything for one in need. And I know my sister would be there with me as she has been.

Our Army of Angels continues to grow and to support and sustain Sean and I. I know that it also heartens Ben and Todd to read the notes from all of the people who also care about their brother. Sean's tragedy has affected all of us profoundly. But even during the darkest days, there has been the light of all of you who read these pages. Having this resource to use to cleanse my own soul and chronicle the life that Sean now leads has helped me cope with all that has transpired. As John Lennon wrote in the song, "Beautiful Boy". "Life is what happens when you're making other plans."

That is exactly what has happened to Sean. A horrible, horrible, tragedy. But it is still LIFE, and he is still around to make more plans. Aren't we all thankful for that?

With gratitude and Love,
Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, September 17, 2006 3:09 PM CDT

I don't know what it is, but this is the second time that I have completely typed the entire journal and I have completed some series of keystrokes that have deleted all that I have written.

Yesterday afternoon we celebrated the First Birthday Party ever for Mia and Max. It was such an enjoyable afternoon with Toby and Annette's house full of relatives. In the evening all of the "guys" that were here, representing someone from each decade, beginning with Sean and Ben in their 20's and going all the way through, Erv; Eryn, Tobin and Jen's Dad, in his 60's. They went out to Old Chicago, a pizzaria in Minneapolis and hung out for awhile. It was a pretty tame evening, however, because Sean and I were back at the hotel and in bed shortly after 10.

We got up this morning and met everyone at the Mall of the America's for lunch and then Annette and I came home with Mia and Max, and the rest of them shopped. Eryn had to fly down to St. Louis to meet her husband Randy who had flown down there yesterday. His Mom had called him yesterday and he flew down there because his Dad was hospitalized. At this point we are not sure what the problems are, but he was concerned enough that he told Eryn he would feel better if she were with him.

Toby and Sean are driving Ben to the airport. He flys out this afternoon. The ones of us who are still around will have dinner here at Toby and Annette's and then Sean and I will try to make it an early evening and get back to the hotel so that Sean can get some rest. He is wearing down from all of the activity.

Tomorrow morning we will get up early because we are going to have a tour of The CaringBridge offices.

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