History

Friday, August 25, 2006 7:40 PM CDT

Our trip on Sunday started early. We arrived at Love Field at 7 a.m. The campers, family members, and counselors were all gathering at the McDonald's on the unsecure side at Love Field. Sean and I got our tickets and went immediately to the ticket counter to check our luggage through. We proceeded on to Security, knowing that it would take us a little while to get through the gate.

I have to commend TSA in Dallas. They treated Sean with such dignity and respect. He did not have to remove his shoes but they did swab them for gunpowder residue. There really was no other issue. We had all of his meds in the original prescription bottles but they never even looked at anything. They told us to remove any liquids, but they just scanned everything and didn't do a "search" of our bags. Sean and I got breakfast at the McDonald's on the "Secure" side and then went to our gate to wait.

By that time all of the campers were coming in and gathering at the gate. Everyone seemed to know each other. I had an opportunity to talk to several people and quickly realized that Sean was so early out from his injury. There was a lady who was 30 years out, another 25 years out. Most of them were at least 7-10 years out. This is when the tears started, and I don't know if they really stopped until Wednesday morning.

Sean was able to stay in his chair until we actually got down to the plane. Rene got Sean out of his wheelchair and "walked" him to his seat at the very front of the plane. Sean sat in the window seat and I was right beside him. A few minutes later a man was seated beside me in the aisle seat.

This man was in his early 30's. His hands tremored terribly and he was somewhat hard to understand. He shared with me that his accident had happened when he was 19. He had been driving his pickup over to his girlfriends house. He had found out she was cheating on him and he was angry and not really paying attention to his driving. Now here he was many years later, living in an assistive living center. He had a great sense of humor and kept teasing the Flight Attendant, telling her he needed some "Hooch" in his drink. I held his drink for him because his hands shook so badly he could not hold the little cup and drink without spilling it all over himself.

As we began our descent into the Albuquerque Airport, he asked me to take a $20 bill out of his wallet. When I asked him why he needed the money, he told me that he wanted to pay me for helping him. That's when the tears started again.

All of this time I guess I had the belief that somehow, someway, someday, Sean would be the same man he was before the accident. Watching and listening and sharing with these survivors, I realized that Sean's life will never, ever be the same. Luckily, because of the sum total of the experiences we had at Mountain High, I know that will be alright. Sean may not physically be the same man. But he truly will be a "Better" Man. He and I both know that.

Yes, Warren, If God leads you to it, he will lead you through it. Sean and I are sure of that now.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, August 25, 2006 8:29 AM CDT

Sean and I arrived home yesterday evening, and by the time we ate and piddled around for a few minutes we piled into bed.

I have so many, many things that I want to share with you and just so many experiences that I want to write down so that Sean and I never forget. However, today will be busy so it may not begin until the weekend.

I do want to let you know that the entire 5 days have been emotion filled for both of us. Emotions far more powerful than either of us expected. Not only that, there is now a perspective to Sean's future that we had not been able to form until this weekend.

One of things that we have learned is that there is no real "Recovery" from brain Injury. For the rest of the life of the person affected, the brain injury will impact them in areas of their life or in things that they do. Physical deficits can improve. Mental deficits can improve. But everyday for the remainder of their lives they wage the battle against this devastating trauma.

Another thing that we learned is that there is still a value in living no matter what the injured person must deal with. There is a HOPE that can never be given up and everyone, the injured person, and all who love them must never relinquish.

But probably the most important thing that we learned, or was reaffirmed for both of us is that we are not alone. There are other individuals who have suffered this horrible tragedy and their are other family members and loved ones who have experienced this and live it everyday. The commonality in all of these people that we met is that:

You are never alone. You can always be confident that God is with you. And there is a plan for your life.

I bought a plaque for Sean that says it best. "This is not the life that I ordered".

It is not the life that anyone of us would ask for, but it is the life that we live now. And it still is a Wonderful Life!

(More to come)
Thank you for all of your love, support and prayers.
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Saturday, August 19, 2006 8:42 PM CDT

Well, our long awaited trip to Red River is finally upon us. I hope that I have packed everything that we need. I "think" that I have it all gathered up.

We all enjoyed our visit with Nanny, and PaPaw, Gary and Linda this morning. Ben came by this afternoon and spent some time with us. Bob was also home all day. He was supposed to run 12 miles this morning but woke up sick during the night. I had stopped by the shop yesterday afternoon and as we were in the parking lot talking, I told Bob that the truck thermometer said that it was 109 degrees. He works in his huge shop that is neither heated or cooled and I think that he had just had too much heat over the course of this summer and it finally caught up with him. He seems fine today, but I am glad that he stayed home and in the cool.

Sean is ready to get started on our journey. He is so tired of staying in the house but it was just too hot for him and I to get out and go anywhere this week. He and Ben went out to the apartment pool this afternoon, but there were only guys out there so Sean said that he would rather get back out of the heat. Had there been some "scenery" out there, I know he would have been able to tolerate the heat for a little while.

I have decided to take the computer since one of our "Angels" let me know that there is Wi-Fi available in Red River. I don't know if I will actually get around to entering anything in the journal while we are gone, but if I decide I want to, I will be able.

We both hope that all of you have a wonderful few days. I know that if I miss entries this week, I will update all of you by next weekend. We will pray that some of the cooler temps will start moving into the North Texas area. We will also say our prayers for rain.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, August 18, 2006 8:04 PM CDT

I was able to drive over to Ft. Worth this morning and get the camper top put on the truck. I am so excited. The truck looks good and I still feel that I have all of the visibility that I had before having it put on. I really think that it is going to make the chore of loading the chair so much easier. Bob is going to keep the truck while we are in Red River and try to figure out how to latch the Eagle Lift Gate now. The topper door comes right down on the latches so they will no longer work the way they are mounted. I had to strap the tailgate up for the drive home. It is so nice knowing that Bob will have it figured out and fixed when we arrive back in town on Thursday.

Sean stayed home. His Speech Therapist, Heather, was with him when I left. He had an hour on his own and then his Physical Therapist, Kathy Mitchell was here. I arrived home about half way through her session with Sean. He was practicing transferring to the couch. She is amazed that he seems to be improving so quickly. His body seems as though it is "waking up".

Uncle Rick dropped by on his way into work. He got here in time to watch Kathy working with Sean. He is really enjoying his new home, although he is worrying about his electric bill. He moved from a one bedroom high rise condo to a 3 bedroom home, so I am sure he is going to feel that first bill.

Sean spelled to me today that he felt like he hit the lottery jackpot twice. The first time was back when he stood up on his own. The second time occurred this morning when he raised his right arm straight up in the air for the first time. He has been able to lift his right hand with his elbow resting beside him, but he has been unable to really raise his whole arm. Today was the first time!!!

Tomorrow should fly by. Nanny, PaPaw and Aunt Linda are driving down from Denison. Cousin Gary is supposed to be driving up from Lake Whitney to meet them here and visit Sean. Then I will have to finish packing and getting our stuff all together for our vacation. We have to be at the airport around 7 a.m. Sunday morning, so hopefully we will get to bed early tomorrow night.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, August 17, 2006 8:11 PM CDT

The Mountain High Camp Director called me from Red River today and told me that it has been 60 degrees out there all week and she is Cold! Can you imagine that? Sean and I are so excited. We leave Sunday!!!

I left Sean again for a run to Target today. His PT was going to be with him in about 45 minutes. She actually did arrive while I was gone and Sean unlocked the door for her and let her in.

Bob is at the shop right now. His PT has asked him to cut a couple of pieces of wood to put under his wheelchair cushion to raise him up about 2-2.5 inches. His new wheelchair is a couple of inches lower than the old one and the center mounted leg rests cannot be dropped down far enough for his legs to rest properly. The wood will lift the seat up to the appropriate height. Then Bob will drill and screw the wood down into the base of the wheelchair to anchor it. Gosh, I don't know what Sean and I would do without Bob.

Sean was excited after his session with his PT today. He has made such progress with transferring into his chair almost on his own. I know that he feels really happy with himself. We went to our parking garage this morning and I walked him with his walker. We went 8 parking places up and back to his wheelchair. It seemed like it was easier on me and also as though he is able to walk a little better. Big things are happening!

I am going to have to run to Ft. Worth on Friday morning and get the topper put on the truck. Then we will easily be able to get the chair loaded and on the road when Sean and I want to travel.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing!
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, August 16, 2006 7:26 PM CDT

Well, I did it. I left Sean alone while I went to the grocery store. He was so excited when I returned. He had placed the handle of his cup into his right hand, turned the lid and taken it off, gone to the fridge taken out a bottle of water, opened it up and poured it into his cup. And then he screwed the lid of his cup back on and the top back on the bottle of water! As long as the seal has been broken on the water, he can get it open. Now this may seem like "No big deal" to you. But, it was a HUGE deal to Sean. The thing that he was most proud of was that he was able to make his right hand help his left hand. Another first!

He had also sent me a text message and told me that he would meet me outside and help me carry groceries in if I just let him know a couple of minutes before I arrived. I didn't realize that he had left me the message until after I got home, so he didn't have an opportunity to do that chore. We did, however, get the spring loaded door hinge unloaded so that Sean can get the door opened and closed on his own.

His speech therapist came this morning and suggested that Sean get his own meds in the morning and the evening. I place them all in a labeled container for the week. It has an "A.M." and a "P.M." side. He is going to get his own water and then get his pills and take them. It will also be his responsibility to pay attention to the time so that he takes them as scheduled.

This afternoon, I helped him transfer out of his wheelchair and he stood against the wall for a few minutes. Then we walked out into the living room and then back to his chair.

Another great day at home!!!!

Thank you for sharing and Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, August 15, 2006 9:45 PM CDT

I can remember a year ago thinking (before I knew what life would be like now) that Sean would just be able to lift himself with his arms and slide himself into his wheelchair. Somewhere over the months I realized that would not happen.

Well, guess what? I can see it happening again. His new PT, Kathy Mithcell, came again this morning and she was teaching Sean to scoot one hip forward at a time and pull on the armrest of his wheelchair with his left hand and pull over to the chair. Right now he needs a lot of help, but she helped him transfer into his chair from the bed 7 times today. She told me that he is amazing because he understands what he is supposed to do and each time that he does it, he gets a little better at it. Once again I have that hope and that vision of him being able to do it on his own.

I tied a strap on the refrigerator handle this morning and with a lot of maneuvering with his chair, Sean is able to open the refrigerator door. I even put his cup of water inside of it, and he was able to reach in and grasp his cup, place it in his lap and go into the living room with it.

Kathy tied a strap to the front door handle and were it not for the spring hinge he should be able to go out the door on his own. He is able to lean forward in his chair and unlock the deadbolt on his own.

All of these things are things that I could not have imagined him doing before this week. Now I can imagine and I can see proof of his efforts. And he is so proud. Nothing beats that smile that he gets on his face with each new accomplishment.

Thank you all for letting us know you are reading.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, August 14, 2006 8:13 PM CDT

My unsettled feelings continued throughout the morning. Finally about midmorning I had a call from the Occupational Therapist. We agreed that 2 pm would work for both of us. Another hour went by and I had still not heard anything so I called and left a message on the Real Life Rehab Director's voicemail asking her when we should expect to hear from the other therapists. Finally, during lunch, I had a call from the new PT. She told me that she would be here at 4. I have not yet heard from the speech therapist.

Once the therapists arrived, the unsettled feeling left. In fact, I am looking at things through new eyes. This teams approach is to help Sean achieve some independence in his life. His OT has encouraged Sean to begin shaving himself with an electric razor. She also assured me that should leave Sean alone for a few hours at a time. She said that he needs to have this sense of independence and also the sense of dignity that it will give him.

We were really blown away when his new PT came. She actually had worked with Sean a few times last summer when he was an inpatient at Baylor. Right after she arrived, our wheelchair salesman arrived with another brand new chair for Sean. This one has the center mounted legrests that we had been wanting. He had planned on it being a total surprise. Somehow he had gotten the manufacturer to give us the chair that we had been wanting.

Kathy Mitchell, the new PT, took Sean into his room and got him onto his bed and started working with him. Before she left, she actually had him turning onto his right side by himself!!!! She took a strap and hooked it to Sean's bedframe at about midpoint of the side of the bed. She told me to put a piece of velcro on it so that it will stick to his sheets. Then Sean took that strap in his left hand, and by pushing off with his left foot and pulling with his left arm, he was able to pull himself up onto his side. And then, when he was ready he just pushed back onto his back.

This evening, Bob had gone running and Sean and I had a near catastrophe. In fact, I really feel like God had his hand in preventing it. In between the time that the OT and the PT came I gave Sean his shower. This evening, he had to go to the bathroom, so I transferred him into the transfer chair. As I was pulling it into the bathroom, one of the caster wheels broke and the chair dropped to the ground. I realized it before it fell all the way and managed to get him into the bathroom holding the handles up. Once I slid it over the toilet, he was able to get his legs positioned under him and he actually was able to lean forward and hold his weight over the two front wheels. I ran and grabbed a piece of wood and stuck it under the broken leg and then was able to transfer him back into his wheelchair.

If the wheel had broken when I was transferring Sean from the tub into the transfer chair, it could have tipped over with him. He probably would have hit his head on the counter behind him. Because of the position I would have been standing in as I set him back into that transfer chair, I could not have prevented him from falling. It honestly makes me sick to my stomach to think about how he would have been hurt if the chair broke at that time. I truly feel that God's hand was there helping to hold him up at the time that the chair did break.

What a wonderful day we have had together!!!!

I will probably make a trip to the grocery store in the morning and let Sean mess around here at home between his computer and the TV and his RollTalk.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, August 13, 2006 8:17 PM CDT

Sean and I were up late again last night but it was really worth it. Ben, Cheryl and Shaya stayed until after 11. Everyone was sitting around at a computer or looking over the shoulder of someone at a computer. Talking and laughing. Earlier in the evening, we 3 girls ran to the Marble Slab Creamery for an ice cream. Sean and Ben stayed at home and had a few minutes for "guy" talk while we were gone. I really enjoy spending time with Cheryl and Shaya. Never having girls, and not really having an opportunity to be close with my mother, I enjoy my time with them.

This morning Sean and I went to the first showing of the day of Talledega Nights. It wasn't exactly my kind of show, but Sean thought it was really funny and I got a kick out of watching him laugh at all of the silliness.

Bob got home shortly after we did. So we are all 3 winding down after our weekend and winding up for a new week tomorrow.

I feel very unsettled because we have not actually heard from RealLife Rehab ourselves so we have no idea what tomorrow will bring or even what time it will begin. Everyone at BIR assured us that everything was worked out and they would start here Monday so I have to believe that it will happen. Still, until I actually meet someone and have a schedule I will remain uneasy.

Sean spelled to me that with his graduation from BIR Day Neuro he has "completed another leg of his 'ultra' marathon". And he has. He is eager to get going on his next leg. My son wants to walk and talk again!!!!

To those of you who logged in just to let us know you read, Thank you so much!

To all of you, Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Saturday, August 12, 2006 8:39 PM CDT

Sean and I have enjoyed a lazy Saturday. Bob finally finished working on his deer stand so he has gone down to his deer lease. He has been so busy at work that the deer stand was taking up space in the shop so he wanted to get it out of there.

Sean and I even took a nap today. Cheryl, Shaya and Ben are over here now. We all chowed down on pizza and everyone is on a computer. Ben has brought his laptop, and Sean is on his RollTalk and I am on our other computer.

It is so nice to login to the guestbook and see everyone's messages. I wish there was a day that everyone who reads this would just log in and say "Hi" so we would know who all followed this site.

I am going to prepare everyone now. I am not going to try to take a laptop to Red River. I have no idea if there will be an opportunity to log into a computer anywhere so from the August 20-24th, there may be no entries. I will keep a hand written journal so that I won't forget things and I will update as soon as possible after we return.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, August 11, 2006 7:48 PM CDT

My usual method of writing this journal and when I have finished I go to the guestbook and read what people have written. Tonight was different. For some reason I went to the guestbook first. Warren the story of the $20.00 bill is very moving and certainly applies to Sean. Every now and then he has a well deserved sinking spell, but he always manages to pull himself through it.

I had taken a picture of Sean standing up with his therapists gathered around him yesterday. When we got home I downloaded the picture, edited it and (thank you Monette), printed it on an iron on transfer. I then ironed it onto a white T-Shirt and he wore it to BIR this morning. I told him to take a Sharpie pen and have everyone sign it. I think everyone enjoyed signing it as much as he enjoyed having them do it. He also shared a big "Thank you" cake with everyone at lunch.

I ended up running up to BIR 4 different times today. This afternoon, Sean had an appointment with Dr. Gonzalez his prosthodontist to have his palatal lift adjusted. His speech therapist, Jen, went with us to make sure that Dr. G understood how she thought it needed to be raised at the soft palate. We always have an enjoyable visit when we are there. Dr. G. is just the nicest young man and he really takes an interest in Sean. He enjoys hearing some of the funny things Sean likes to come up with.

I know that sometime Monday we will be hearing from RealLife Rehab. At this point I have no idea of when they will be here or what the plan will be. Everyone assures me that it is all arranged and it will begin on Monday, so I guess we will find out then.

Sean and I are both still tired from last Saturday night with Jackie, Kevin and Jackson. We are looking forward to a weekend of doing nothing. My only plan is to begin packing our suitcases. One thing I did think of this morning was Sean's medication. According to the news reports, all medicine needs to be in the perscription bottles. Since Sean's meds are all mail ordered to us every 90 days, his bottles are really big. Even though there are only 5 medications, they would take up a big portion of his suitcase. So, I called the pharmacy and asked them if they could mail us 5 small labled bottles that I could put a weeks supply in to carry with us on our trip. My request was the first of its kind that they had, but I am sure that as time progresses they may get more calls like this.

Sean and I are both so looking forward to our respite from the heat a week from Sunday.

Thank you, Thank you for the entries that you have made in the guestbook. Each one touches our hearts and will remain there.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, August 10, 2006 8:35 PM CDT

Tomorrow is Sean's last day at BIR as a Day Neuro Patient. We are very busy this evening. He is writing thank you notes, and I am having to hold the cards so that he can write with his left hand. Since he was right handed before his accident, it is slow going.

This entry will be brief this evening, but I wanted to share with you that this morning when Sean was ready to get out of bed, he insisted on sitting up from the bed himself. So instead of pulling him up by pulling on his arms or lifting his upper body as I did when he first moved home, I just held his feet firmly on the floor and he slowly, ever so slowly, pulled himself upright and sat there!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, August 9, 2006 9:05 PM CDT

I ran up to BIR today so that I could help Sean walk. It is soo hard, but soooo rewarding. Since I am the one helping him walk, I am unable to take pictures.

I picked Sean up at 2:30 this afternoon. We went to see the movie "World Trade Center" at 4 p.m. I had already purchased our tickets, so we just had to unload and we went in.

As Sean spelled to me afterwards, the movie was "phenomenal". I hope that all of you will take the opportuntity to see it. We had watched a special about the movie and several interviews of the two Pt. Authority Policeman that were depicted in the movie.

I don't know if I could not have sat through it had I not known that the story was true and that the two of them survived. It is such a powerful story of the hope and heroism that kept the people of New York City going after the tragedy of 9/11.

Ben, Cheryl and Shaya were on their way to see it this evening as well. We had to go to the earlier one because I knew that it would be too late for us to go later.

When we arrived home I went to the mailbox and found a package from Todd. He had flown to Albequerque, New Mexico, a week ago. He and six of his Hanford Trainee Classmates had flown down there to take a polygraph tests that was to screen them for possible terrorist ideations. They had a little bit of time and had gone shopping. Todd bought me the most beautiful turqouise and coral necklace. It is big chunks of stones and is so very beautiful. It was such a sweet thing. He didn't get it for any reason other than he thought his MoM would like it, and I do. I love it!

Two more days at BIR to go. Another chapter ends and a new one will begin.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM (and Todd and Ben's), Jenny Carter

Tuesday, August 8, 2006 7:17 PM CDT

I had to make a flying trip up to Denison this morning for a doctors visit. I could not believe it. My appointment was at 10:30, and I was in the truck bound for home by 10:51. Appointments are usually never like that. I did not take any time to stop and visit.

This afternoon when Sean got in from Therapy, I think that his weekend had finally caught up with him. After his shower, he decided he wanted to take a nap. I laid him down and let him sleep for an hour.

He now only has 3 days left at Baylor Rehab. Monday he will start with RealLife Rehab here at home for a week. Then we leave for Red River on the 20th. The temperature has been in the mid to high 60's all week. It will be so weird to be cold in August!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, August 7, 2006 7:43 PM CDT

There are 100,200 hits on Sean's website today. Today is 496 days after it was created. This means that an average of 202 times someone logged in per day when they thought of Sean. Of course, some of our Army of Angels have faded away over time, but there are frequently notes from others who have just joined our Army. I feel certain that for every one time an "Angel" logs in, there are probably 2 or more who don't have access to a computer. There are so many of you who are silent followers.

I had one of my melancholy moments this morning. It started when Sean and I were watching interviews and excerpts from Oliver Stone's movie, "World Trade Center", that will be released on Wedensday.

Sean was spelling to me his memories of that day. It was a day for him and for all of us that will always be burned in our minds. He was working for Randy Sims, picking up trash from homes throughout Sadler and Southmayd. I was working in Dallas and my sons were rattling around trying to "find" themselves. Eryn had flown in for a few days and was at home. Ben had already moved out, but was spending the night since Eryn was there. Sean said that all day long he had to work and listen to it on the radio. He was unable to view (over, and over, and over) those planes flying into the twin towers. At the time Sean and Krystyna Sims were in love. Sean said all he could think of was getting back to the Sims so that he could hold Krystyna. He said that always made him feel that everything would be alright.

Krystyna was Sean's first and so far, most true love. It made me so sad to think of how my beautiful boy feels. Yesterday on the way home we were talking about going to the pound when we return from Minneapolis to find a puppy for him. He spelled to me that he wanted so badly to have someone or something to love.

Throughout the day I struggled to get over the feelings of sorrow and loss that I have for Sean. And I had done really well until now. As I write this I feel them wash over me again. But, I have to get over it and just keep praying that the day will come when some young woman will come into his life and see the man behind all of his infirmaties.

I have confidence that God didn't hold Sean in his hands on March 27, 2005, to let him rot away in his broken body. There is evidence that He is working with him to repair and regenerate the brain function and musculature necessary to free Sean from his body's prison. And I know that Sean struggles to remind himself of that as well. Or else, how could he greet me each day with a smile? That is my proof of what the future holds for My Beautiful Boy!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, August 6, 2006 5:23 PM CDT

Sunday, August 6, 2006 4:54 PM CDT
Someone hit this website today and the counter went over 100,000. Each of you will never understand how humbled I am in your continued support and belief in "My Beautiful Boy". As I sit here now, I am watching the rain pouring down outside the window. I need to get Sean up from his nap and get him into the shower, but he is tired and sleeping so well. A smile flits across his face as he dreams and remembers his weekend full of friendship and love.

We drove up to Sherman Saturday and met Kevin Krier and his Mom, Jackie Webb and his little brother, Jackson. The heat was oppressive and we decided to just hang around at the motel for the afternoon. Our plan was for the boys to go to the late afternoon show of Talledega Nights, and Jackie and I were going to wander through the stores together. Unfortunately, the theater was sold out, so we all drove over to Brian Wible's parents house. Patriarch of the family, Ben Wible was out bailing hay in the blistering August sun. Brian was watching TV with sister Ramona's boyfriend, Mike, and Monette and Ramona sat down to visit with Jackie and I. It was such an enjoyable afternoon. As we sat out in the living room we could hear the guys laughing together in the den.

We whiled away the afternoon until Ben Wible came in form the fields and then after he cleaned up, we all drove into town and had dinner together at Cheddars. The Wibles' home has always been like another home to Sean and Todd. Sean would often stay with Brian when he would return to Sherman to visit after I had moved to Dallas. It is such a wonderful feeling to feel wrapped in the love of friendship and is amazing how you can have some friends, who although you may not have had much opportunity in a long time to be around, the moment you are with them, you pick right back up like time and distance were never between you.

The dinner was so enjoyable. We watched our three young men at the end of the table, and enjoyed a pleasant "ole' folks" conversation. After dinner, we hugged Ben and Monette goodbye and Brian joined us back at the motel. Little Jackson was worn out and Jackie and I were tired. I helped Sean with his toothbrushing and face washing and then I joined Jackson and Jackie upstairs. We left Brian and Kevin and Sean together. Kevin and Sean were going to stay together in their room. Jackson fell asleep almost immediately. Jackie and I flet like it was a "slumber party". We spent several hours with the lights out talking across the space between our beds, sharing our thoughts and feelings. We laughed and at times, I cried. It was such a "cleansing" time for me. It felt so strange not to be the one putting Sean in bed, but I knew that Kevin could take care of Sean and if necessary, he would call. At 12:30, Jackie called down to Kevin and they were both still up and he said Sean was doing fine. I think it was after 1:30 a.m. when Jackie and I finally fell asleep.

When Jackie, Jackson and I had gotten up and had breakfast we went to wake up Kevin and Sean. Sean had the biggest smile on his face when he woke him. Kevin tried to burrow deeper into the covers. Sean spelled to us that he and Kevin had stayed up until sometime after 2. He also smiled and spelled that it was the First time he had stayed up so late since his accident. I got Sean up, and Kevin got up and we checked out of our rooms. I still had Hampton Inn Honors points so our weekend was pretty inexpensive. I got Sean's walker out and Sean walked down the hallway of the Hampton while Kevin, Jackie and Jackson cheered him on. He has come such a long way since the first time they saw him as he lay in coma in BIR a year ago.

Damon Morris came by and we visited for a while longer and then we gathered around Sean. One of the focal points of any of Kevin and Jackie's visits have been to place our hands upon Sean and pray over him. We pray in thankfulness for the friendship shared by these young men, and for the continued healing of Sean. We also pray for some guidance and reassurance that Sean's Recovery will continue to progress that he will be encouraged in his own achievements. As we said, "Amen" and stood away, I think each of us felt the blessings of our Father.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, August 4, 2006 8:11 PM CDT

Sean and I had to get up early this morning. He was scheduled by DARS, (the state agency for Disability and Rehabilitative Services) to have a neuropsych exam. They test to see how his cognitive (thinking and reasoning) skills are, as well as memory and over all intellectual functioning. I think that he pleasantly surprised the psychologist. It wasn't too long into the interview that he realized that Sean has a really good sense of humor. I had to leave while Sean did his actual tests, but when I returned, the doctor said that he didn't see any short term memory loss either. In fact he said that Sean did really well.

I had thought about taking Sean out to lunch but after loading up into the truck, Sean said he would rather eat left overs and just get out of the heat so we came straight home.

Danny surprised us at 4 this afternoon saying he was on his way down for a visit. He came straight down and spent a couple of hours with Sean.

Tomorrow we are going up to Sherman to meet Kevin Krier and his Mom, Jackie Webb and his little brother Jackson. They are driving in from Ft. Gibson, Oklahoma. We are also going to meet up with Brian Wible and a few other friends and go out to dinner. It should be a fun weekend.

Angie, tell Zarrence that Sean got a kick out of hearing that he now is old enough to login and check on him. It is hard to believe that tiny 2+ lb. baby boy of yours is now old enough to use the computer by himself. I guess he is no longer "tiny" is he?

Thank you all for sharing and Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, August 3, 2006 6:20 PM CDT

Another chapter of Sean's trip down Recovery Road will soon close. I can't believe that this day will soon arrive. This morning we had a family conference at BIR and found out that Sean's last day will be August 11, a week from tomorrow.

Beginning Monday, August 14, Real Life Rehab will come to our home. We will transition from that program to Baylor Outpatient. The reason I say, "We", is that I will be working with the therapists so that I can learn everything that they do.

This transitionary period will be great, because I have been concerned about how tired Sean will become going to college each day and then to Outpatient and then home. This way he will go to school and then come straight home for Rehab. I won't have to be worrying about when we will have time to squeeze in lunch. There will even be a couple of days a week that Rehab will come in before we go to school.

After our meeting this morning, I took a turn walking Sean while his therapist gave me pointers. I feel a little more comfortable after this session.

When I left BIR, I picked up Bob and we rode over to get the truck from Cowtown Sleepers. We got to see the new top for the truck. It still has to be fitted with the windows and the door and then it will go over to the paint shop. Hopefully the week of the 14th, it will be ready to be placed on the truck.

We are counting down the days until we leave for Red River. I looked at the weather there today and the high was supposed to be in the 60's and the lows around 41 degrees. Wow, what a welcome relief that will be. We will be in Red River from the 20-24 of August.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, August 2, 2006 6:38 PM CDT

I ran up to BIR with Sean's walker today to have him walk with his own so that his PT could be sure that it was all set to the proper heights. It worked out to be just fine. Sean was tired this morning and did not walk as far as usual. He had awakened early this morning and was practicing using his voice, and I guess it wore him out.

I am working again on the chest of drawers I have started sanding. The paint is really thick on it and it has taken forever to get the paint just off the top. There are tiny little chips down in the grooves and I want no remnant of paint left, so it seems to be taking forever.

Please understand, I do not want to diminish anything that Sean does. I need to explain however, even though he is using his walker, it still takes an extreme effort on his part to move at all. Someone must be right behind him holding the walker and pushing forward with their body on his backside so that he can stand up straight. I still have not gotten into a rythm of a walk with him, but I know with practice it will get easier. I just don't want anyone to think that he can just take out and walk on his own. That is some time ahead.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, August 1, 2006 8:06 PM CDT

Sean had two firsts today. He text messaged me about the first one. "I was able to get my left hand flat today." When he came home he was able to show me. He laid it out across his chest and it was indeed flat. If you have seen Sean over the course of this Recovery, you will remember that his left hand (like his right one) has always been clenched, except for that pointing index finger. Even though he had surgery on that hand it has still been difficult to lay it out completely flat. He can do it now!!

The other one is huge. He walked with his walker tonight at home with only me helping him. He said it was the first time someone other than his therapists have walked with him. He is so thrilled! I am too!!!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, July 31, 2006 8:58 PM CDT

Sean and I are watching the Treasure Hunters this evening. Bob has gone to run some "hills".

I have had a busy day today. After Sean left for Therapy I drove out to Richland College to meet with an advisor. I am thinking about taking some classes while Sean is in college this semester.

When I returned home, Cheryl and Shaya were waiting on me. They followed me over to Ft. Worth to Cowtown Sleepers. They are the folks who are putting a topper on our truck to keep Sean's wheelchair protected when we go out on adventures. They have fiberglass molds and make their own camper shells. They are making one for an extended bed, and then will measure our truck bed and fit it on, and then they will have to cut it down to fit on our bed. There plan is for the cover to come right down on top of the tailgate.

I am so excited. There has been a lot of trial and error in figuring out the best way to carry Sean's chair, but this final step should really do it.

Sean had a visitor this afternoon. A couple of summers ago he had met a girl up at Lake Texoma and they had gone out a few times. She attends LSU and Sean was on his way to either Midwestern or New York, I don't really remember. He can't quite remember either. Anyway, he tracked her down on MySpace.com and they have been e-mailing and text messaging. She returns to LSU tomorrow, but she came over this evening and spent a couple of hours visiting him. She had not even known about his accident until he started writing her.

This morning when I woke Sean up I had him practice his vocalizations. He seems to be able to make noise better when he is lying flat on his back. I worked with him for a few minutes and got him to add the "M" on the end of his "Ah" sound. So he made his first "UM" sound. Now if he can just figure out how to start out with his mouth closed, he will end up with a "MOM", or a "MUM". That will be so exciting!!!

Justine, Sean wanted me to let you know that of course he remembers you. How old is she now, Jama? I cannot even imagine.

We are looking forward to visiting with Jackson, Jackie and Kevin this weekend.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, July 30, 2006 11:52 AM CDT

Sean went to the show last night with Ben and Cheryl and saw Miami Vice. I had a text message from him when he got out of the show, "You missed a freakin awesome movie!"

Bob and I spent the couple of hours while Sean was at the show wandering around the West End. We had dinner at R.J.'s Mexican Restaurant.

I received a few cards, and phone calls from friends and family.

My cup runneth over!

Today Sean and I are going to "chill" here at home. We might even take a nap. Bob has just gone down to the shop to work on his deer stand for the afternoon.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, July 28, 2006 9:21 PM CDT

Today has seemed like such a busy day. I had to run up to BIR this morning and talk to Sean's camp counselor/Rehab Tech, Rene for a minute.

My brother, Uncle Rick, bought a house that he was moving into today. He had a 20 lb turkey in his freezer that he didn't want to move so I ran up to his old condo and got it. Then ran home and then went out to his new house to see it. It is a beautiful house. Once the movers left there, Rick and I drove out so that he could buy a new fridge. I then had to go home to be here for Sean.

Sean got home and we loaded up and went over to Uncle Rick's so that Sean could check out the house. We are both so happy for Uncle. His house is absolutely beautiful.

Tomorrow is my birthday. Ben and Cheryl and Shaya are taking Sean to see Miami Vice and Bob and I are going to spend a couple of hours alone together.

Bob is going to buy me Dremel for my birthday and I am so excited. We are going to go pick it out tomorrow. A Dremel is a little electric tool that is used for woodworking projects. I am refinishing an old chest of drawers and I am planning on etching a design into the top of it and on the drawer fronts. I will then paint it. I am hoping it will start me on my new career!

Lois sent me a journal today and is encouraging me to get started writing our memoirs of Sean's Miracle Recovery. I need to get busy.

Since I now have projects to work on, I won't just be wandering aimlessly around while Sean is in therapy. In fact, we don't have many of those days left. We leave for our mini vacation August 19 and come home August 24. Sean's school starts August 28. I will then be taking him to therapy and college every day. I may even take some college classes myself. We are moving into a whirlwind! How exciting!

Thank you for sharing and Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, July 27, 2006 9:40 PM CDT

I received a call from the Director of Mountain High Camp and she told me that Sean's power chair would fit in the wheelchair van and she thought I should just fly out with all of the campers. That is such a relief to me. I will not have to face 22-24 hours worth of driving and Sean and I will have an opportunity to fly with assistance. That will really help us when we have to make our Minneapolis trip.

I will definitely take a lot of pictures, but I am going to stay as much in Sean's background as I can. I want him to have the opportunity for independence and fun without me hanging over his shoulder. I will be there, but I won't have the 24/7 responsibility of caring for Sean. I can wander through the town on my own, or go off on a hike, or anything, but yet I will be there to capture the special moments.

This afternoon when Sean got home from Therapy, we decided to go wander around Northpark Mall together. He had been hiding money left over from his lunch for the past couple of months. He wanted to buy me a birthday present. After wandering around and looking, I told him that I would rather he kept the money and he could find something for me in Red River.

We ate in the Food Court, and once again, Sean had me sit him in a chair at the table. We had an enjoyable time together. I will post a picture of him sitting across the table from me. How special was that? My beautiful boy, sitting across the table from me, feeding himself. It was a truly wonderful event!

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, July 26, 2006 6:46 PM CDT

Sean had an appointment with Dr. Hardin, the ENT, this morning. He scoped Sean again and then explained to us that he in no way thought that the scar tissue would be interfering with Sean talking. He said that his vocal cords are moving. He told Sean he just needs to keep forcing sound "any sound" out of his throat. He said that eventually that will turn into his brain "remembering" how to make speech. He also said that the choking episodes were not related to the scar tissue either. He assured Sean that was the bodies method of protecting his lungs and it was another indication that his vocal cords were working properly.

Dr. Hardin explained to Sean that when the vocal cords get liquid on them they close off the airway so that nothing can go down further. He said that his cough response is working perfectly. Although, he agreed that it is probably very scary when it was happening, he told Sean that he would not stop breathing. Even though his brain has been injured, it will take over and force him to breathe again. I have to admit, that must be true, because every time, Sean has recovered from these incidents. Although, they have been very scary when they were happening.

When that appointment was over, I made sure that Sean got into BIR and then ran home to grab his lunch and take it to him. When I returned to BIR, I talked to Rene, the Rehab Tech who will be Sean's Camp Counselor at Mountain High Camp. We have decided that I will drop Sean off at the airport with his manual chair and Rene will take over from there. I will leave then and drive out to Red River, New Mexico, with Sean's power chair. Although I probably won't make it until the next morning, Sean will then be able to have his chair allowing him some independence while he is out there. I will then get up really early on Thursday morning, or else leave Wednesday afternoon and beat the plane home Thursday evening. The drive will take about 11-12 hours.

I talked to the coordinator at BIR who has directed the camp for the past 10 years. She told me that it will be really special to attend the camp with Sean. She said that on Tuesday night they have a "barn" dance, and they get every person up dancing. She said that Sean will be dancing with another TBI patient and it even if it takes two or three people to hold him up to dance, he will have an opportunity to do it. She also said that there is not a physical "camp", the whole town of Red River gears up for this event. The towns people are very supportive and participate in the week of activities, ensuring that everyone has a memorable experience.

Sean and I are looking forward to it.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, July 25, 2006 6:36 PM CDT

I received an e-mail today that contained some wonderful news. Sean is going to be able to go to Mt. High Camp in Red River, New Mexico in August. He is also going to share a room with Rene, his Rehab Tech at BIR. Rene is a really nice man, who Sean really enjoys working with so he is very excited.

I will have to talk to the Director of the Camp tomorrow and work out all of the details, but because of the misfortune of someone else who had to cancel, Sean gets to go. I think it will be a wonderful opportunity for him.

This morning I went up to BIR and had my first training lesson with Sean and his walker. I will need a couple of more sessions and then I think it will just take practice, practice, practice, on both of our parts.

I want to share something with you that Kathy, his PT, told me today. She said that Sean told her that he was only going to use his walker when he starts college. She told him, "Sean, that's fine but how will you carry your RollTalk." His answer was, "If I am walking I won't need to talk!"

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, July 24, 2006 9:09 PM CDT

What a great visit we had with Jen and Ross Walton, (my niece) and their beautiful 6 week old daughter, Ava Claire. Ben, Cheryl and Shaya came over as soon as Ben got off work and Bob made a point of coming home by 6, so we were all together for a really nice evening.

Sean got to hold little Ava for a few minutes. I wish you all could have seen him. He just loved her. He kept "phonating" which means making noises he was so happy. I did take pictures and will post them in the next day or two. The picture of Sean with Haylee and Ryan are so cute I want to leave them up for a couple of days.

Jen had remembered that my birthday is Friday, so they brought a birthday cake, some beautiful flowers and a funny card for the "old" woman. It was so thoughtful. This was the first time that we had met Ross. I have to tell everyone he has our seal of approval.

Todd called this afternoon, as he always does. He told me that his legs felt like "noodles". They are really working them out on his new job. He started a week ago and he has a 5 (?) month orientation. Apparently a large part of his training will be physical training.

Where have the years gone? My babies are all grown up with families of their own. I know in my heart that someday Sean too will start a family of his own. I know that he longs for that as well.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, July 23, 2006 7:18 PM CDT

Sean and I had a really restful Sunday after a very busy and enjoyable Saturday. In fact the two of us even took a nap today.

Poor Bob had nothing but trouble yesterday. After running 9 miles (which to him is nothing), he came home and cleaned up. Going out to his truck yesterday afterwards to go to the shop, he realized that he had a flat tire. Before he could change it, he realized that the lock for the spare was on his key ring at the shop. He then made the mile and a half trip on foot and came back in the company truck. He changed the tire on his truck and went over to the company truck and realized that the radiator hose had busted! What a day!

He got up this morning and has been at the shop all day working on trucks, and trucks and trucks! Hopefully he will be home soon.

Tomorrow afternoon, my niece, Jenn Walton and her husband Ross as well as their new Ava Claire will be here for a visit from Colorado Springs. Ben, Cheryl and Shaya will be here as well and hopefully Uncle Rick can make it.

I will be going up to BIR this week to learn how to assist Sean with his walker. He is so excited! Of course, I am too.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, July 23, 2006 9:20 AM CDT

Sean and I had a great Saturday. We left our apartment about 7:15 a.m. and headed north to meet Ben at Parker Rd and the Toll Road. Ben was going to ride his bike up to his Dad's in Denison, Texas. Being the "worrier" that I am, I was too concerned about someone not seeing him and driving right over him. Sean agreed that we would follow Ben up there.

When we met up with Ben he said, "I can't believe, today the wind is straight out of the North and that's the way I am riding." We turned our emergency flashers on and pulled in behind Ben as he started out. He was making really good time, managing to make most of the green lights as we were driving out of Dallas and through Plano. North of Plano and all up through McKinney we were moving right along. I was so glad we were following, though, because there was so much traffic and people really were rude and careless around him.

As we were following Ben, I could see his calf muscles cramping up. Finally beyond mile 50, Ben decided that between the wind and his cramps, he was not going to be able to make it on his bike. We stopped and loaded his bike up and finished our journey to the boys' Dad's in the truck. We stayed long enough for Ben to unload. Danny has several steps into his house and then down into his living area so Sean is unable to go into his home. We drove over to make a pit stop so that Sean could say hello to Nanny and PaPaw. They came out to the truck and visited for a few minutes.

It was then about 1:30, so Sean and I decided we needed to get lunch. A trip to Denison is not complete without lunch at Huck's, a local catfish restaurant. Sean and I had a great meal and then loaded up and drove over for a visit with Gary King at his home in Sherman. We stayed at Gary's for a couple of hours and then we loaded up again and drove over to the south side of Sherman, to Chad and Charity Vessels home. Chad is one of Sharon Roberts sons, Lois and Ron Richardson's grandson. Sharon and husband Tony Roberts, Jessica Boren and her daughter Haylee, and Ron and Lois were all there.

Sean was able to drive his wheelchair right into Chad and Charity's house through the garage. We stayed and had a great dinner. Chad had cooked steaks out on the grill and Charity had made all the rest of the dinner. Haylee, and Chad and Charity's son, Ryan, entertained us, even climbing up on Sean's lap for pictures. After dinner we all went out back and visited for a little while. Reluctantly, we decided we better head for home so just before dark, we loaded up for the southbound drive home to Big D.

We both decided that it was a wonderful day and we are looking forward to more outings.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, July 21, 2006 6:04 PM CDT

Sean and I had such a great day on Thursday, but boy did it turn into a nightmare right before bedtime.

I was exhausted from feeling bad, and our running around and loading and unloading Sean's wheelchair in the heat. Sean was at the computer and I kept "encouraging" him to log off and come on so that I could get him to bed and get myself there as well. He finally quit with the computer and came to get his pills, when he had another one of those horrible aspiration episodes. He choked on the ice water he was drinking with his pills.

He could not catch his breath and he was choking and sweating profusely and I was getting really scared. I ran in and threw my clothes on (I had already had my nightgown on). We started out the door and then Sean vomited and aspirated that. I had to quickly change his clotes and then we dashed out the door and loaded up for Baylor ER.

When Sean was triaged, the triage nurse worked part time at Baylor Rehab and she recognized Sean. She said that he is always smiling and everyone is always talking to him and hugging him. She was trying to get him back to see a doctor, but ambulances kept rolling in and patients with higher acuity levels were checking in. We ended up deciding to come on home because Sean was no longer in distress and he decided that he was way to tired to continue waiting.

I called the ENT doctor this morning to let him know that Sean had experienced another one of these episodes. We will go see him Wednesday morning.

Sean and I slept in this morning. I dropped him off around 11 so that he could at least have some Rehab for the day.

Tomorrow morning Ben is going to ride his bicycle from his apartment up to his Dad's in Denison. Being the worrier that I am, Sean and I have decided to follow right behind him in the truck to provide "escort" for him. I worry about him riding alone and some idiot not paying attention, driving right into him. Once we see him safely to his Dad's, we will drive on to Whitesboro for a visit at the Richardson's.

Cheryl and Shaya will drive up after Cheryl gets off work to visit with Danny and Janice and then bring Ben back home.

We hope that all of you have a wonderful weekend.

Thank you for caring and thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, July 20, 2006 8:35 PM CDT

Well, we had a fun visit at the Pate Ranch, and then at Chapin Title and then the Courthouse. Unfortunately, I had started out with a sick stomach and by the time we left the Courthouse, all I could think about was getting home.

We were so sad that we couldn't meet up with our "family" the Richardsons/Roberts/Vessels and Borens, but we will do it again soon.

Our computer had crashed this morning. Once again, another virus must have gotten through all of my Internet protection and Firewalls. If you ever wonder why we don't reply to any forwarded messages, it is because we have sworn off all of them in an effort to keep this darned computer safe!

I want to thank all of you who took time to visit with Sean today. He was so happy to see familiar faces and I know that his heart was warmed by your caring,

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, July 19, 2006 7:57 PM CDT

Sean text messaged me today and wanted me to pick him up. He said "I don't know why but I just got very depressed." I sent a message back to him and told him to tough it out. I am happy to say that he got over it by the time he got home.

We had already planned on playing hooky on Thursday and driving up to Sherman. Sean has wanted to visit the folks at The Grayson County Courthouse and also the group at Chapin Title where Sean used to work. We will leave in the morning and drive up to The Ranch in Anna. They had called and wanted Sean to stop in and see them, and then we will head for Sherman. We are hoping to have time to stop by and see Gary King. From there we are meeting Ron and Lois Richardson, and Sharon and Tony Roberts, as well as Jessica, Justin and Haylee Boren for dinner.

I reminded Sean of all of this when I sent a text message back to him and he told me that he would be "Ok".

Sean had a visit from his Dad this afternoon. They spent a couple of quiet hours together.

After dinner, Sean had me help him transfer to the couch. He looks so content sitting there watching television.

Thank you all for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, July 18, 2006 7:32 PM CDT

Sean and his speech therapist, Jenn, walked to Baylor College of Dentistry from Rehab this morning. Sean was going to get his pallatel lift. He was so excited. I think that he thought that the words would start pouring out as soon as it went into his mouth. Unfortunately that isn't what happened.

I do believe that it is just a matter of time. I also believe that if Sean can just say one thing, the words will just begin to flow out of him. Much as it did for Helen Keller when she finally understood that that liquid that was pouring out of the fountain was "water" and that everything had a name. Sean will say one word and the flood of words will begin. I just know that is the way it will be for him.

When he came home he was exhausted for some reason, so I put him to bed and let him take a nap for about an hour. He was so funny when I got him up. He was like a limp noodle. I finally got him to stand up in my arms, and I couldn't make him move his feet over to his chair. I was getting so frusterated with him. Finally, little inch by inch I got him close to his chair and he almost fell into it. Then we both cracked up laughing. I looked at his feet and his shoes were on wrong. No wonder he couldn't walk. When I would say "Move your left foot", his right shoe was trying to move and vice versa!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, July 17, 2006 6:17 PM CDT

Sean made a list of accomplishments that he looks at when he gets down or discouraged about his situation. We thought we would share it with you.

1. I got my own platform walker
2. I stood on my own
3. I moved my left leg underneath me so I could prop myself up for MoM to dress me
4. I almost rolled to my right
5. I held my breath under water for 20 seconds
6. I can walk with a platform walker with just Kathy for assistance.
7. I almost get my shirt on by myself
8. I sit in a booth in the cafeteria
9. I can get my own tray
10. I can eat with regular silverware
11. I can eat finger foods, picking them up with my left hand
12. I can drink from a regular cup
13. I can drink from a bottle of water with a straw
14. I can pour from a bottle
15. I can put my own apron on
16. I can eat out of the containers that and not just from my plate.
17. I can get my water bottle and plate of food out of the fridge.
18. I can form words and mouth words with my mouth
19. I can embrace the change, and Demand it.
20. I can Make It Happen.
21. I will try something before saying "No".
22. I started riding a Hand Bike......and I like it.
23. I can program my RollTalk by myself.

Sean has had to start all over again. Just as he did as an infant, figuring out how to do everything. I am so proud of my Beautiful Boy!

Thank you for caring, and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, July 16, 2006 7:51 PM CDT

Sean had two firsts this weekend. This morning when I went in to get him out of bed, he had managed to take his pillow splint off of his left arm by himself. He said that he started it with his right hand and then pulled it the rest of the way with his mouth.

We met Ben and Cheryl at Northpark Center to eat lunch in the Food Court and then go to the show. I transfered Sean out of his wheelchair and into a chair at the Food Court so that he could sit at the table and eat with us. Normally he just stays in his chair with a tray in his lap and eats. This was the other first!

I noticed as I transferred him each time, his legs move a little bit easier. We are really starting to get used to the "little dance" that we do as we turn 1/4 or 1/2 turn backwards to transfer from one place to another.

Sean's PT, Kathy, is on vacation this week. Sean will have different people working with him. He is prepared for another productive week.

Shirley and Lois, Thank you for praying our specific prayer. The more people who call upon God with this prayer, the louder the song and the better it will sound!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, July 14, 2006 7:58 PM CDT

Sean brought his very own walker home with him today. I am not aloud to walk him with it until Kathy, his PT, gets back from vacation and trains me with him. But, I can stand him up and let him stand at it!!!

We are both so excited!

Ben has decided to fly up to Minneapolis for the twins birthday as well. He won't be coming until Thursday evening, September 14 and will fly back to Dallas, Sunday the 17th, so he won't be with us to help us with our own travel, but Sean and I are glad he will be there for part of the weekend. If only Todd could come, but it would take several different legs for him to get there and since he will have only been on the job for a couple of months he dare not take off.

Jama, you are right, Sean is getting stronger every day.

I truly believe that all of the prayers of our Army of Angels are being answered. This is now what Sean and I pray for each evening. Specifically, "Lord, we pray for the healing of Sean's axons and neurons, especially those that control his walking movements and the memories to move his mouth t0 allow him to speak."

Thank you for your prayers and Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, July 13, 2006 7:07 PM CDT

I met Sean at 9:00 this morning at Rehab. As we waited in the hallway for his PT to meet us with the walker, Sean's old roommate from his initial stay at Baylor Rehab came walking in. Jay has now joined the Day Neuro Program. Jay's Mom, Carmella was with him. We stood in the hall and "caught up" for a few minutes, then agreed to meet back at lunch for a little gabfest.

Kathy got there with the walker, and Sean proceeded to show me how well he is walking. Although he tends to lean back as he tires, his strides are straight and true. He picks up his right leg as easily as his left leg. What a Miracle!

When Sean completed his stroll, I left for a little while and came back to meet Carmella. Another one of the "Alum's", Simon and his Mom, Patricia, were meeting Carmella as well. The four of us wandered across the street and had lunch and caught up on how our boys have progressed. We all agreed that they are Miracles. Jay and Simon do not have the extreme physical deficits that Sean has, but each of them have their own mountains to climb. The important thing is that each of them greet their challanges with a smile and with courage. What more could you ask of your child?

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, July 12, 2006 8:57 PM CDT

Sean text messaged me today and told me that I had to come to BIR on Thursday and it was the biggest thing ever! All day I kept wondering what his secret was. When he got home he told me... He was walking with the walker and his physical therapist, Kathy, told him that he was now walking well enough to order his own walker with and he was ready for me to start walking him!

You can only imagine the tears of joy I cried when he told me. Hallelujah, Praise God!!!!

He told me that when she told him this morning his body stiffened up and he just started screaming in happiness. In fact, he was so loud that people came running up asking if something was wrong and if they could help with anything. It was just Sean, being ecstatic and giving voice to his happiness!!!

This evening I was helping him to transfer onto his transfer chair and he actually lifted his right foot up and placed it for our next step. That was a miracle that I witnessed and as I stood there hugging my beautiful child I cried again.

God is good!

This morning I ran over to Lift Aids, in Euless to see if they had any ideas about covering the back of the truck to keep the wheelchair protected from the weather. I was so happy, they gave me the name of a company that they work with frequently, that manufacturs and sells camper/sleepers for pick-up trucks. I drove to Ft. Worth and they had a solution for me. I was so excited. Finally, I can imagine, lifting that chair up and driving it under a fiberglass roof, tieing it down and driving!!! What a change it will be from the winch up the ramps, covering with a tarp, tieing it down and then going.

On the way home I was thinking about some old friends that I had not seen in about 5 or 6 years. They live in Arlington, and I decided to drive by and see if I could find their house. I drove right to it and both, Mickey and Susie Wheeler were home. I stayed for a very short time, we caught up a little and then I headed back to Dallas. I was so happy to see them and their son Jared looking so good.

This afternoon, after Sean told me his good news, I called Bob to let him know. If anyone deserved to hear the news it was this wonderful man that has made it possible for me to be beside Sean every step of this long, long SUCCESSFUL Road to Recovery!!!

Thank you for caring, and thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, July 11, 2006 5:55 PM CDT

This morning as I got Sean out of bed I made a big decision. Since he is now advancing his right leg while walking, I was going to put the pivot disk away. I sat Sean up, he stood up and we manuevered him around to stand against his chair and then he sat down! I have to push on his right foot to get it in position, but there is no way I could have done this a month ago.

When Sean came in this afternoon and I got him ready to get in the bathtub, I told him that we were going to get into the tub without the pivot disk. I was a little hesitant because there is nothing for me to hold onto if I get off balance, and there isn't much room to move our feet. But, we have to grow up someday, so today was the day.

I am soooo happy to tell you that Sean has been out of bed, in and out of the bathtub, in and out of the chair and onto the transfer chair, twice, and the pivot disk remained under the bed.

We had given it up for truck transfers about 3 weeks ago. I noticed this past weekend that Sean was able to get more weight off of his right leg and was able to assist with the pivot action of his right foot as he turned to back up to the seat, or the chair. So, I thought today was the day.

The Pivot Disc has officially been retired!!!!

Thank you for caring, and thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, July 11, 2006 9:01 AM CDT

I obviously forgot to save my journal entry for Monday because I actually did wrtie one.

Sean came home yesterday afternoon and spelled to me that he is now able to advance his right foot when he is using the walker. His PT, Kathy, still has to walk behind him and slide her right foot inside his as he moves it forward to prevent him from kicking his left ankle. He tends to toe in, but he is so excited about this new evidence of continued healing.

Danny, Nanny and PaPaw came for a visit Monday afternoon.

Todd starts his new job at the Hanford Nuclear Power Plant in Hanford, Washington next Monday, July 17. He is looking forward to earning a good paycheck. He and Kori are hoping to be able to buy a house in the surrounding area before too much longer. Although they appreciate the guest house lodgings they have on Kori's parents farm, they are ready to have their own place.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, July 9, 2006 8:04 PM CDT

Thank you for adding Deborah and Hanna May to your prayer lists. I want to also ask you to say a prayer for Andy Cooper. He was injured shortly after Sean in a Motor Vehicle Accident. Andy is from Borger, Texas and rehabed at BIR and Pate along with Sean. As you can read in the guestbook, Andy is hurting now and has asked for Sean's prayers. I am sure that extra ones can only help him.

Sean and I met Ben and Cheryl at The Galleria for lunch today. We spent an enjoyable couple of hours together. They shared their pictures of their vacation in Las Vegas. I am glad that they had the opportunity to get away, but it is good to have them back home again.

Pirates of the Caribbean 2 was good, but it had relied too much on the stories of these really alien looking underwater crustaceon people. There was too much of that kind of thing and not enough of the light heartedness of the first one. I would still say it is worth seeing. The special effects were wonderful, but it just didn't touch me the way the first one did.

Sean and I were caught in a rainstorm on the way home and twice I had to pull over to the side of the road and tie the cover onto the wheelchair better. Once again I wished that we had known a year ago, how Sean was going to progress. As I look back on it, I really wish that we would have bought a van instead of the truck. With a van, it would just be lower the ramp, drive the chair in, lock it down and go. There is so much to getting it in and protected from the elements now. Hind sight is 20/20. I have always been such a Pollyana, in fact I still am. For some reason I believed that a year from the accident, things would be back to the way they were. Now I know that they will never be back to the way they were. What we have now is normal, just a new normal. Everything that we have ever done, we do now, just differently.

But Sean keeps me happy to be rolling along with him. He is my inspiration.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Saturday, July 8, 2006 7:12 PM CDT

Sean and I went to see Pirates of the Caribbean 2 this afternoon and then had lunch in the Food Court at Northpark Mall. It is becoming our weekend thing to do. Sean said that he enjoys getting out for a little while so that he sees something beyond the walls of the Rehab and our apartment.

He had me put jeans on him today. He spelled to me that it covers his braces and high socks and he likes it better that way. He also spelled that he has noticed the last couple of days that his calf muscles are atrophying and his calfs look so small.

I have been noticing that for several weeks. He told me that we need to start standing him against the wall for a few minutes each day to strengthen his legs. So that is what we will start doing.

We had a good day today and hope you have had one as well.

Thank you for sharing and thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, July 7, 2006 8:47 PM CDT

Thursday was a good day all day, and so was today. Sean told me that he was able to advance his right foot today with very little help. The fact that he is now able to raise his foot out of his foot rest means that the brain is reconnecting with the muscles and they are getting stronger.

He is sitting in his chair playing Spider Solitaire on his RollTalk and I just asked him to lift it up and he popped it right out of that foot rest, and then put it back. If you had only been able to see him struggle to complete this movement over the past many months you would understand how huge this accomplishment is.

Last night Sean was asleep and I climbed in bed with him and prayed aloud for the Lord to continue to keep working on his body. My prayers are being answered!

One of the ladies who works at the Grayson County Courthouse e-mailed me today and told me that her cousin's daughter and family were involved in a tragic accident in Oklahoma. The husband and one child were killed and another son was fighting for his life in an Oklahoma City Hospital. Young Luke has also passed away now. Please add Deborah and Hanna May to your prayer requests tonight. The funerals for Jason (the Dad), Caleb, the 6 year old and 9 year old Luke will be next week.

Thank you for sharing and Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, July 6, 2006 10:13 PM CDT

Yesterday's journal was written early, before I put Sean to bed. Our days go by, so often uneventful. We have fallen into our routine. But then something will happen and chaos reigns again.

I really don't know why it happened, nor does Sean, but as I was getting ready to transfer him into his bed when he went into a violent rage. We had been laughing and kidding around, and all of the sudden he just shoved the transfer chair backwards almost into the TV and his wheelchair. When he does this he stiffens up. His legs and his arms just go straight out in front of him. And then, as quick as it came, it was gone. Then when I got him onto his bed, it happened again and he grabbed his glasses off of his face and he threw them across the room.

When this happens I have to walk out for a couple of minutes so that I can go back in and face him. When I went in, he reached up to pull me down to hug him. After a few minutes he spelled to me, "It has been 16 months since a girl has hugged me". We cried together for a couple of minutes, and then we prayed. Prayed that God would help Sean with his emotions. Prayed that someday, someone would walk into his life, prayed for grace and understanding for both of us.

This morning when he woke up he was his usual sun shiny self. He apologized to me profusely for his anger last night. I just think that he works so hard to stay positive that every now and then he is entitled to a "Melt down". It has just been so long since he has had one of these rages.

This afternoon when Sean came in from Rehab he had to show me another "first". His right leg is pretty much immobile, although he is gaining strength with it. He has never voluntarily been able to lift it up off of his leg rest. Well, this afternoon, he reached down and tugged on his short leg, and raised that foot up off the rest! He also did it several times for Bob, this evening. He wasn't really lifting it with his shorts leg, it was just a little nudge that seems to break his tone and allow his brain to tell the foot to move! He continues to heal!!!

Isn't it amazing that even now so far into Sean's Road to Recovery, new people are finding his site and reading his story? For that we are so thankful.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, July 5, 2006 8:07 PM CDT

Not much to share with you today. Sean rode the hand cycle today. When I was showering him today, we were both remembering how difficult it used to be to accomplish this task and how much better we are at this together now.

Sean's road is long and he often moves along it at a snails pace, but he always moves forward. Someday we will look back and marvel at how far he has traveled. We do that now,

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, July 4, 2006 6:29 PM CDT

Sean and I had another lazy day today, but he was happy to have a visit from John Bouge and Gary King today. Gary was paralyzed in a freak accident at Lake Texoma on or about Memorial Day 2005. He is from Sherman and wound up in Baylor Rehab at the same time that Sean was there. It has been a long time since we have seen him and we were both happy to see him looking so good.

John is probably the friend that Sean and Todd have had the longest. I think we met when his twin brothers, Josh and Caleb and our Ben were 5. Sean, Todd and John would have been 3. So many years have past. Caleb is currently deployed and Josh is stationed in Maryland. They will both be home in August and I am hoping that Ben and Sean can make a trip up to Sherman to spend some time with all of them.

Bob had to drive down to his deer lease today. On Sunday when they were pulling out of the lease, a spring broke on their trailer and he and his brother John went down to fix it and bring at home.

Sean, John and Gary went out and sat by the pool for a while, checking out the pretty women. I stayed in the apartment and made a no-sew blanket. In fact I started and finished it while they were here!

Sean's Aunt Meri-Jac was hospitalized over the weekend, with a GI bleed. Her hemoglobin has dropped very, very low and although she has gone home now, she is extremely weak. The doctors found a tear in her esophagus. They don't know how it happened or why, but she could use your prayers tonight.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, July 3, 2006 8:48 AM CDT

Sunday was SUCH a lazy day for Sean and I. He had a marathon of Solitary on is RollTalk, with intermittent breaks at the computer.

Summer Holidays are really solitary for Sean. Any friends who might have thought of visiting are all enjoying lake activities so it leaves Sean really isolated. The good thing now is that he has accepted this and it really does not seem to bother him at all.

Monday is a therapy day for Sean, and then he will be off on Tuesday. We really have no plans for that day. We may go up on the roof of the parking garage and see if we can see any fire work action from there. If it isn't raining, that is what we will do.

Addison has a huge firework show, but the traffic gets so bad up there that I don't think we will even attempt the drive.

Ben called last night. He and Cheryl are enjoying their visit in Las Vegas. They have not gone downtown because the World Championship of Poker is going on. Shaya and Cheryl's parents are leaving today for San Diego so I think Ben and Cheryl are planning a foray into town this evening and tomorrow night.

Todd and Kori are immersed in Cherry Harvest. They have two "blocks" of cherries that must be harvested and their day is starting at 5 a.m., so I don't know how much of the 4th they will get to enjoy.

We hope all of you are having a good Holiday Weekend.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Saturday, July 1, 2006 8:39 PM CDT

I am listening to the sound of rain outside the window. It sounds so pleasant. It is probably raining out some peoples weekend celebrations, but not for Sean and me.

We went to Northpark Mall this afternoon. That is becoming one of our weekend haunts. Sean and I wandered around looking for shoes for him. He is tired of wearing the same pair day in and day out, but it is so hard to find something that looks cool that will fit over his braces. Once we tired ourselves out with that task, we went to eat in the new Food Court and then went to see the movie, "Superman Returns".

The movie actually turned out to be really good. Brandon Routh looks so much like Christopher Reeves. I had a thought as I watched about the Reeves son, now without either parent, wondering if he was going to see the movie and how he would feel.

Sean and I were kidding each other about him being Superman. Superman always flew with his fists closed the way Sean always rolls around. Then one time, Superman made a gesture as he landed and his hand looks the way Sean's left one does as he opens it up with his index finger pointing out.

We were both aggravated when we went to the truck because there was a car parked illegaly in the stripes next to the truck preventing me from loading Sean into his seat. I ended up having to move the truck so that we could load up and leave. I was looking for a piece of paper to leave a nasty note on the windshield but had no luck. I have decided that I am going to by some glass paint (like liquid shoe polish) and carry it in the truck so that we can write notes on the car windows of people who think they don't have to follow rules and park right on top of us. The thing was, this car was not even a car with a blue placard, and the space next to us was not even a parking place. It was all striped right next to us so that a handicap vehicle could unload it's passenger.

Sean and I both laughed about the thought of someone coming out seeing their car with painted windows that said "I parked illegally at Northpark Mall!" Wouldn't that be funny?

We hope that you had a good day.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, June 30, 2006 9:40 PM CDT

Justin Boren, and his brother David as well as their friend, Shaun, came down this evening and spent a little bit of time with Sean. It was a surprise visit and Sean was really glad to see them.

Ben, Cheryl and Shaya are on their way to Las Vegas, in fact they should be there shortly. Bob will be going down to the deer lease with his brother John, and his brother's son, Willie, tomorrow.

Sean and I will be spending the weekend together. Our plan is to go to NorthPark Mall. Sean wants to find a pair of shoes, probably from Urban Outfitters. Then he and I will probably go to "Superman Returns".

Hope all of you have a wonderful weekend.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, June 29, 2006 7:13 PM CDT

Today was busy. I met Sean at Rehab at 9:30. He had an appointment for a consultation with a dental surgeon to discuss a palatal lift. Well, when we got to the Baylor College of Dentistry and the Dentist came in, we found out that the appointment had been made for the wrong type of doc. Things worked out ok though because he got the prosthodontist to come in and see us, and as things worked out there was a cancelation and we were able to go back over there at 3:30 this afternoon.

After Sean went back into Rehab from the first appointmet, I had to drive over to Richland College and drop off Sean's application. Than it was on to the grocery store, home to fold a few clothes and then it was already time to go back to Rehab to take Sean back across the street to the Dental College again.

Sean's prosthodontist is a young guy from Costa Rico. He told Sean that he could use Sean's RollTalk. He said sometimes when he tries to talk to people they don't understand him because of his accent. He teased Sean and said that if he had difficulty with someone, he would just let the RollTalk, talk for him.

Sean had been in the office twice today and he has already charmed everyone there. They could not believe that he has such a beautiful smile and that he is so happy after all that he deals with.

Sean and I are both really tired today. I told him that it was an early bedtime night. We will see how that goes, because he is one of his "on the computer" spells and I have a hard time tearing him away.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, June 28, 2006 9:45 PM CDT

We had a really busy day today and tomorrow promises to be busy as well. I picked Sean up from Rehab at 11 this morning. We stopped at a KFC and unloaded and went in and had Sean's first Kentucky Fried Chicken meal since his accident. Then we loaded back up and drove on to Richland College and met with the TRI advisor. TRI stands for Total Reintegration. Sean will be independent and attend classes with other TBI patients. They all take the same classes but they go from building to building. He will be required to participate in all aspects of the classes.

At this time, Sean is not sure that it is worth his time, but he has got to be confronted with his limitations and learn to overcome them. People who have sustained a brain injury often have difficulty concentrating, prioritizing and organizing. This program will help him and allow him the time to learn coping skills, if necessary. Hopefully he will then be ready to go on to University by the Spring Semester of 2007. That sounds so far away but is actually less than a year from now.

When we left Richland College, we came home and I showered Sean and he laid down for a nap. When he woke up, Ben, Cheryl and Shaya were here. Cheryl cut my hair. Yes, I finally cut it to about chin length. Bob was working late, so the 5 of us went out to eat. We went to a Mexican Restaurant in Lakewood, Matts, and enjoyed a meal together. We then drove throughout several different neighborhoods around Whiterock Lake.

Ben, Cheryl and Shaya are leaving for Los Vegas on Friday. Cheryl's parents live out there. They are going to spend the weekend with them and on Monday, Shaya will leave with her grandparents for a trip out to San Diego. Ben and Cheryl will return home Wednesday night and Shaya will fly home by herself next Saturday.

They have gone now. It is almost 10 o'clock and we are all soon to go to bed.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, June 27, 2006 8:41 PM CDT

Sean and I will be going to Richland College on Wednesday afternoon. According to information sent to me via e-mail �The Total Re-Integration (TRI) Program at Richland College is an education experience designed specifically for those students who have sustained a brain injury after the age of 13. The brain injury may be either acquired (stroke, tumor) or traumatic. Brain injuries present
physical and emotional challenges for the student, their family and friends. Recovery from brain injury has been described as a long journey.�

The HEATH Resource Center at George Washington University states that "Higher education offers significant opportunities for cognitive stimulation and age appropriate socializing opportunities that enable a person with a brain injury to re-connect with the world, rediscover abilities, understand new limitations while developing compensatory
strategies, and regain confidence and self-esteem."

I had contacted UTD this morning and their department of Disability Services suggested that we start at Richland College in this program to let Sean figure out how he will adapt on his own in a college environment. I am eager to find out what the Richland Program will offer. If he is able to function well in that environment he will definitely be ready to tackle returning to University challenges.

Sean finally got his new wheelchair this afternoon. Although it looks exactly like his old one, it has different technology that is more reliable in the tilt and recline functions. We were going to get the center mounted leg rests but found out that they cost $3,000 +. Sean has decided that since he got new ones (like his old ones) with this chair, we will just see how they work out for now.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, June 26, 2006 9:46 PM CDT

Danny and Janice came down this afternoon to spend a couple of hours with Sean. After they left he spelled, "I really enjoy it when Janice comes with Dad".

As you can see from the picture above, Sean was really proud of showing his Dad how he can stand. I think that Danny was overwhelmed and just had to get a hug while Sean was standing.

I ran up to BIR today to take a couple of pictures of Sean walking with Kathy. She said that the new adjustment to the medication dispensed by his Baclofen Pump has really helped his walk. Sean also wanted to get a picture of him for you in his jeans. This is the first time he has had jeans on since his accident and he looked so cute!

Sean wrote a letter to Westcoast Chopper Star, Jesse James, asking him if he was going to have another season of Monster Garage. Sean wants him to add some kind of topper/cover on the back of the truck to protect his wheelchair. Stranger things have happened. Who would have ever thought the Mavericks would have autographed a cap and sent it to him?

Keep your fingers crossed and if you are interested in putting in a pitch for Sean you can write to Jesse at wfw2@westcoastchoppers.com.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, June 25, 2006 10:14 PM CDT

Thank you for continuing to support Sean with your positive shots and your prayers. Yes, Sean can now stand up. When I say he stands on his own. I mean that he can actually push himself up out of his wheelchair with his legs and stand there for a moment. What a great achievemnet!

Sean and I met Ryan Miller and his fiance`, Misty, at the show this afternoon. Sean enjoyed seeing both of them, as did I. We all enjoyed the movie "The Breakup" and I recommend it. It really portrays the differences between the way men think and women think, and was really funny teaching the lessons.

Sean and I had gotten to Northpark a little early. He wanted to shop in the Aeropostle store and ended up buying two shirts, a pair of jeans and a ball cap.

Bob had met his friend out at the shooting range this afternoon and also went to visit his Mom.

I just got Sean into bed, and will soon be off to bed myself.

We hope that all of you had an enjoyable weekend.

Thanks for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Saturday, June 24, 2006 1:45 PM CDT

Sean can stand up on his own now!!!! The secret is out!!!!!

Sean's Nanny and PaPaw came today and he showed them. And now Ben is here and Sean just showed him so he said it is ok to tell.

After 15 months, Sean can stand up on his own. It is precarious, but he does it all on his own.

This will be the entry for Saturday. Hallelujah!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing! And thank you for the continual prayers. They are working...

Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, June 23, 2006 8:43 PM CDT

This morning when I was pulling Sean�s shorts on him he had another first. He was able to raise his left hip up off the bed so that I could just slide them up. I normally have to roll him from side to side to pull them up. We were both so excited. That ended up being 3 new �firsts� in 24 hours.

1. Holding the Styrofoam cup and drinking through a straw, but without a top on the cup.
2. The secret we can�t share until Ben sees
3. Rolling up onto his right hip and lifting his left hip into the air

We were so excited!

Sean told me that he saw Dr. Thomas, his physical medicine physician who monitors his Baclofen Pump, in the hall today. He noticed that Sean�s right arm has an extreme amount of tone (stiffness), so he adjusted the pump, boosting the medication up another 10%.

I have called the oral-maxillo-facial surgeons and made an appointment for a consultation to determine if a palatel lift will help Sean with his swallowing and breathing. Sean will be able to see them on Thursday.

Step by Step, Sean continues to progress down his Recovery Road.

Jama, we are so happy that your Mom is symptom free and cancer free right now. Miracles do happen! Enjoy your visit and tell all of the �girls� we said �Howdy Ya�ll� and enjoy your whirlwind Chicago vacation!

Denise, thank you for the information on the Courage Center. We will try to get over to take a tour while in Minneapolis. We will only be there 5 days, over a weekend, so I am hoping that will be one of the things that we can do.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, June 22, 2006 8:05 PM CDT

Sean has a surprise, but he won�t let me share it with anyone until his Big Brother Ben comes so that he can show him first. Hopefully we will see Ben this weekend. We usually do see him every weekend. I was so excited today when Sean shared it with me, but I have promised him that I would not tell so for now it is our secret.

I had gone out to do some errands this morning when I got a call from BIR. I had forgotten to pack Sean�s cup for lunch. Because of the contractures in his hands he drinks from a special cup that has a handle. When I arrived at BIR with his cup he was sitting at the table with a couple of other patients and he was holding a Styrofoam cup! It was a little precarious because he grips it pretty tight, but he was able to drink from a straw in that cup and he did not have a lid on it! Every single time Sean does something new, it is exciting and this little act of holding a cup was no exception. He was so proud.

Sean�s van driver is getting married and will be on honeymoon until a week from Monday so he will have another driver tomorrow. Hopefully his van trips, the pick up and drop off will be uneventful.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, June 21, 2006 7:51 PM CDT

By now everyone knows that The Mavs fell to the Heat last night. Basketball season is now officially over and the summer reruns are all on. I wish we could do something outside in the evenings, but Sean does not tolerate the heat any better than the Mavs do since his accident. Did you get that joke?

Sean has begun to get really congested down in his chest. He has a real thick, rattely sounding cough. I called his PCP this morning and told him about Sean�s aspiration incident on Sunday, the increasing congestion, and also told him about the scar tissue in Sean�s trachea. Dr. Allison encouraged me to let Dr. Hardin and Leach�s office know about the episode. He thought the severity of the aspiration could be related to the scar tissue. Unfortunately, their office is closed on Wednesday so I will have to call tomorrow.

I talked to my nephew Tobin this morning about our plan to fly up for his twins 1st birthday and he told me that he and his wife, Annette, have enough airline miles to get our tickets. He told me that he would just take care of it. In fact, Tobin has already sent me the e-mail confirmation of our flight. We will go up to Minneapolis on September 14, and return home on September 19. It will be a major trip for us because we have really been nowhere since Sean�s accident. I will have to talk to the airlines about transporting Sean�s wheelchair and his transfer chair. Depending on which chair we take we might have to rent a wheelchair van. In addition, although Toby and Annette have a big enough house, all the bedrooms and the full bathrooms are upstairs.

I could worry to death about all of the details and Sean would remain house bound with me here. Instead, we are just going to make the journey and figure out how we will handle everything �on the fly�. It will be a good experience and will prove to Sean that he does have more of a life than the one that he lives in now.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, June 20, 2006 8:00 PM CDT

Today has been a relatively uneventful day. Sean spent the day at Therapy. He was not planning on going to the Pool because his PT was on vacation, so I didn�t pack his swimsuit. But, they dressed him in a pair of scrub bottoms and he had his aqua therapy. Kathy will be back tomorrow and Sean will be so glad. He doesn�t like to have her gone because he misses the therapy that she provides him.

Sean�s cousin Tobin, father of Max and Mia, have had a couple of e-conversations trying to work out details for us to go up to Minneapolis for their birthday in September.

Sean came home this afternoon and had his shower. Now we are watching the pre-game show, waiting for the game to start.

Go Mavs!!!!

Thank you for caring, and thank you for sharing,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, June 19, 2006 7:41 PM CDT

�Eryn you write religiously everyday, and it means more than you�ll ever know. I can�t wait to meet the new additions to our families. They are all so cute. Max, Mia, and last, but not least Ava Claire�. These are Sean�s words. He wanted me to be sure to add them to tonight�s journal entry.

Sean text messaged me a dozen times this morning, �MoMma, I love you to pieces.� �MoM, you are the light of my world.� Finally, I got one about 10:45 a.m. that said, �I have a lunch solution. Can U just get me before lunch? I�m dead tired.� I think that was his motivation for all of the �I love you�s�. He was buttering me up so that I would agree to let him play hooky this afternoon.

Honestly though, between staying up for the end of the Mavs game, and then the episode that he had last night, I am sure he was really tired.

I picked him up about 11:30, and after a pit stop through Taco Cabana for lunch, we went home, ate and he had me help him into bed. He wound up sleeping for a couple of hours. I asked him how he feels now and he spelled, �Rejuvenated!�

We are looking forward to two Dallas Mavericks wins now that they are home. Win the Finals, Mavs!

Thank you for sharing and thank you for caring,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, June 19, 2006 9:19 AM CDT

Sunday was a very lazy day for us until the end of the day. Ben, Cheryl and Shaya came over and spent a few hours with us on Sunday afternoon. Then of course we started watching the Mavs game.

Sean decided that half time would be a good time to get into bed for the remainder of the game. He was starting to get tired. I handed him his pills and with the last pill he must have aspirated some water. He started coughing and it got worse and worse until he couldn�t breathe. He wanted to stand up, so Bob and I jumped up and got him on his feet. His coughing continued to get worse and he was getting extremely short of breath.

He might have been having an anxiety attack because he couldn�t quit coughing, but it was getting worse and worse. Bob and I knew that the way he was at that moment we would not be able to get him into the truck and get him to the hospital. I ended up calling 911 and the Dallas Fire Department paramedics responded. They were at our apartment within less then 10 minutes and as they came in with their equipment and started to check Sean�s blood pressure and applied a pulse oximeter (to check Sean�s oxygenation) , Sean started to relax and his coughing began to subside. His gasping for air also began to subside.

The paramedics were so kind and we discussed the option of taking Sean on to the ER, however by this time all of his vitals were normal and except for an occasional cough he appeared to no longer be in distress. I asked Sean if he wanted to go on to the ER, but he thought he was better.

As the paramedics left, they assured us that if Sean started to have another episode and if we needed help getting him into our truck or wanted them to transport him, they would be happy to do so.

After they left, Sean sat up until well into the 4th quarter of the game and then decided he was ready to get into bed. Once he was in bed, we watched the remainder of the game with the head of his bed elevated so that he was sitting upright.

Between the game, and Sean�s �episode�, I was exhausted as was he. We still had hopes that the Mavs would pull out and win the game, but that was not to be. Luckily, Sean seemed like he was alright. I slept with an ear open all night and frequently checked to make sure that he was sleeping ok.

I am happy to report that although he was really tired, he seemed ok and has gone on to Day Neuro. He is looking forward to coming in this afternoon and taking a nap.

Thank you for caring, Thank you for sharing,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Saturday, June 17, 2006 8:15 PM CDT

Bob had to be at Whiterock Lake at 6:45 a.m. this morning to meet with the Dallas Fit group. Sean and I both slept about an hour longer than usual. We got up and dressed and decided that we would meet my �running buddies� for breakfast. They also are part of the Dallas Fit Group.

As Sean and I were loading into the truck, Bob got home and we visited for just a few minutes and then left to go meet the �gang�. When we arrived, Sean decided that he would like so sit at the table with everyone. So, we got to show them how he transfers into the chair. He wanted me to get his pivot disk, but I told him that we could manage. And we did! Sean had pancakes, and was able to feed himself his entire breakfast. Pancakes are often difficult and fall off his fork, but he did a great job. He was so proud.

Luann�s daughter, Carrie, brought her 5 month old son to breakfast and Sean had such a good time playing �peek a boo� with him. He is a really cute baby. Reid would just look at Sean and smile so big. Sean often tells me that he hopes someone will fall in love with him someday and he can have his own children.

After breakfast, Alpha, Luann and Sean and I decided to wander around Target for a little while. Sean has wanted a water resistant watch that he could wear in the pool and we figured this would be a good opportunity to check them out. After looking through all of them, Sean found one. But then as we three women were wandering through, Sean decided that he had shopped enough so we paid for his watch and walked outside. It was just sprinkling a little. I was so thankful that we had the lift gate. Although it still takes time to load Sean�s wheelchair it is far quicker than it used to be.

We drove home, stopping once for gas, and managed to get into our parking garage without any real significant rainfall. The rest of our day has been pretty lazy. All three of us took naps this afternoon.

We are really looking forward to Sunday nights Mavs/Heat game. Sean has strong feelings that �the boys� will rally and pull out a win for us. Regardless of tomorrow nights outcome, we know that they are going to Win the Finals, and they will be home in Dallas to do it!

GO MAVS!!!!

Our little Joey, Todd and Kori's baby boy, will be two on Fathers Day. We had a Harley Davidson Rocking Chair shipped to him. It is so cute and looks a lot like Todd's new Harley. We hate that we can't be there to share his birthday. Maybe next year will find us more mobile.

To any Fathers reading this entry, we hope you have a joy filled day.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, June 16, 2006 7:50 PM CDT

I wish there was a way to put a real video on our website with sound. If you could only have seen �and heard� Sean as he showed his autographed ball cap off to the folks at Baylor Rehab. He was SO excited and SO proud. He asked me to bring it up there this morning because he was afraid something would happen to it if he took it with him.

I went up to BIR shortly before 11. His appointment with the ENT was at 11:30 and since it was in a building right across the street from the Rehab, we were just walking over there. Jenn, his speech therapist, went with us. She wanted to explain to the doctor exactly what she had seen when Sean was scoped Thursday.

After listening to all that Jenn had to share with him, he scoped Sean. He was able to do it so quickly, just in and out. He complimented Jenn and told her that it was �a good catch�. He also told her that he didn�t know that anyone other than docs could perform the procedure that well. He was obviously impressed with the skill level of the Speech Pathologists at Baylor Rehab. He then told us that he definitely saw the same thing that Jenn had seen. He said that it was probably occluding the airway by 70 percent. But, he also said that since Sean was asymptomatic. He obviously has no problem breathing, therefore, the doctor did not feel it necessary to do anything about it. He also agreed that it is scar tissue from Sean�s tracheostomy. He feels that it will begin to shrink over the next year. His recommendation at this time is that we just take a �wait and see� approach.

The other thing that Dr. Leach noticed, exactly as Jenn had told him, Sean�s soft palate does not move at all. He has no true �gag� reflex. We have to assume that this is a result of his traumatic brain injury. He agreed with Jenn that a prosthodontist might be able to fit Sean with a soft palate lift, a device that will close off the opening from his mouth up into his nose so that the air can pass over Sean�s vocal cords. The doc said that Sean�s vocal cords were working.

What does this all boil down to? There is no magic elixir. There is nothing magical, medical or technological that will bring Sean�s speech back. Only time and the hand of God will heal him. And also, once again, Sean has so very much work to do. And each day he ventures out with that glorious smile on his face�.and�he GOES TO WORK!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, June 15, 2006 5:53 PM CDT

I went to the mailbox today and there was a package from the Dallas Mavericks addressed to Sean. Opening it up I found a Western Conference Champions ball cap signed by the members of the Team. I was so excited, knowing how happy it would make Sean. As soon as I got back inside, I text messaged him to let him know.

I wish you could have seen his face and heard his �vocalizations when he got off of the bus this afternoon. When we were discussing him wearing the cap to Day Neuro tomorrow, he was very clear. He spelled to me, �I will not wear my hat. I don�t want to dirty it up.� Then he asked me if I would bring it up to BIR tomorrow so that he can show it off. He does not even trust himself to take it with him. At first I told him that I couldn�t. I was supposed to meet Lois and Sharon tomorrow.

Right then the phone rang. It was Jenn, his speech therapist. She told me that she had scoped Sean�s throat this afternoon and was very concerned. She said that the tissue is very red and raw looking and it has little tiny bumps on it. In addition she said that she saw something else. She is not sure what it is, although it could be scar tissue. She said that there is a piece of tissue that appears to almost be completely occluding his airway. She told me that she didn�t know how he was able to breathe so normally because it looks as though it would be blocking the air flow.

She had already called the ENT specialist and he is ready to see Sean on Friday. I had to call and reschedule my lunch date, and although I am disappointed that I won�t be able to meet my friends, this is important. Besides, there will be another opportunity to meet Sharon and Lois.

The picture at the top of the page is Sean�s ball cap. The note he received from the Mavs� Organization and his Don Nelson autographed jersey. In case you are wondering how he got so lucky it happened like this. I had e-mailed Mark Cuban last week the day after the Mavs had won the Western Conference. I told him briefly about Sean and just let him know how excited Sean was watching the games, and how proud we were of him and his team. He forwarded the e-mail on within his organization, and it couldn�t have been 2-3 hours later when I received an e-mail from one of his staff members asking for our address. When I told Sean about it, he did not even allow himself to think about what he might receive.

Sean has had a happy day today. The only thing that will make it better is for The Mavs to win another game tonight!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 7:37 PM CDT

444�that is the number of days since Sean had his accident. For Judy Thomas� daughter, Emily, I think it is 365 days today.

I really thought that eventually, along the way, I would no longer think about the days before March 26, 2005. But then something will happen. Tonight it happened when I saw the newsman Bob Woodruff return to his newsroom. Bob had been working in Iraq when a roadside bomb exploded. He received multiple injuries including shrapnel into his head. He was in a coma for 36 days. But there he was, walking and talking to his coworkers and friends. I was so glad that I was in the kitchen and Sean was in front of me with his back to me, because I started crying.

Sean had no visible injury to his head. He was considered in coma for 39 days. How can it be that just from the motion of his brain within his skull, this horrible thing has happened? If you notice the pictures of him in the pool with his physical therapist, Sean�s fists are clenched. That is pretty much the way they are all of the time. Although he can straighten them out somewhat, they are usually kept in fists.

I tell others that I never ask why, but I do. How can you not help but ask why, if you are the mother and this is your child? But then, I have to catch my breath. There really is no answer, and there is no magic pill. Only time, and Sean�s continued �work, work, work,� will repair the damage that has been done. And I have to remind myself of how far he has come, and then I know that I must just �get over it� and move forward.

One of the fasteners on Sean�s braces broke off today so I had to run up to BIR and pick it up and take it to the orthotist for repair. When I arrived at BIR, Sean was just being transferred over to the hand bike for his morning ride around the first floor. Of course, he was smiling, and as always he reached up for a hug and a kiss and he mouthed to me, �I love you, MoM.�

We stayed up until the end of The Mavericks� game last night. Even though they lost last night, we still have great confidence in �our� team. So we will watch again tomorrow, and then the game after that and the one after that if need be.

Sean was tired this afternoon, though, so after his shower he laid down and took a nap for about an hour. He is not normally a napper, but he last night had been a late one.

Thank you for caring, and Thank you for sharing,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, June 13, 2006 7:36 PM CDT

I had to go to BIR this afternoon to watch Sean work to get his shirt on after swimming. He is supposed to start attempting to do more for himself, so we need to start working on this at home on the weekends. Afterwards we had a short meeting and discussed Sean working on new things. He is supposed to start using a regular fork, and I am supposed to start giving him sandwiches so that he can learn how to pick them up and eat them again. He will start out with peanut butter and jelly because the bread will stick together. Right now he does not have the dexterity to hold a sandwich easily, so it will take practice. They also want me to try to keep his meals limited to food that will just come right out of the �fridge. The thinking is that when he returns to college full time he may not have the facilities to warm his lunches up. Independence is what they want all of us to work on.

I finally talked to someone at Praxair after numerous attempts this morning. But not before I got so frustrated that I sent an e-mail to Praxair Worldwide. The thing that has aggravated me so much has not been with the company�s actual service, but I do not think they are good with communication. If people don�t call and let you know what is going on, you tend to assume that there is nothing going on. I know that they are going to hate me by the time this is done, but considering they have billed our insurance company many thousands of dollars, and the money I paid outright for Sean�s transfer chair, I feel that I deserve a few minutes of communication.

Sean was really excited this afternoon. Tuesday�s are the day that the folks in Day Neuro go over to Big Baylor�s cafeteria for lunch. Sean told his OT that he wanted to sit in the booth with everyone else, so that is exactly what he did. He was so proud of himself. He also spelled to me that he had chicken nuggets and fries for lunch, and he ate them with his fingers. He said �Finger foods with my fingers!�

It is nearly time for the Mavericks third game, so I will tell you all good night.

Thank you for caring and thank you for sharing,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, June 12, 2006 8:04 PM CDT

Monday has come and now is almost gone. I have finally resorted to writing a letter to the Branch Manager of Praxair, our wheelchair vendor, today. I never heard anything at all from anyone at their company even though I left several messages. I am so mad that I feel like I am boiling inside. But, enough of that.

Sean and I stayed up to watch every basket that the Dallas Mavericks made last night. We were so happy with the outcome of the game. I got Sean into bed during half-time, and stayed in his room with him to watch the remainder of the game. I asked him a few times if he wanted to go to sleep but he was intent on the game and would have none of that.

Sean sent me a text message today and said that he walked one and a half times around the whole first floor of Baylor Rehab. He was so very, very, excited! He�s not the only one, MoM was very, very excited too!

When he got home this afternoon, I gave him his shower. As we were going through all of the steps to get him in and out of the tub, I was thinking about how much stronger he is getting. He spelled to me on Saturday after his shower that it is easier now with just me doing his shower than having two people helping.

Things are getting better. Better and better every day!

Danny has arrived for a visit with Sean.

Jama, we are glad you are getting the rains in Florida. Hopefully it will end the wildfire problem. We are also hoping that you do not receive any extreme weather with Alberto.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, June 11, 2006 4:56 PM CDT

I got up this morning and right after I got Sean out of bed, I started my �Lil Smokie� grill. I smoked a beef brisket for dinner this evening. While the fire was getting ready, I made blueberry, buckwheat pancakes for Sean. Smothered in whipped cream is the way Sean likes them, so that is how he had them.

Bob was meeting one of his buddies this afternoon to shoot clay pigeons and Ben and Cheryl were coming over to spend time with Sean and me. After we had dinner, the four of us loaded up in the truck and went to Northpark Mall to browse. We wandered around for a little while and then realizing that no one really had the money, nor wanted to spend the money, we loaded back up and drove home.

On the way, Cheryl and I decided we needed to make a pit stop at Marble Slab Creamery. We left the guys in the truck while we got our ice cream and then drove on home. Sean and I are now watching �The Manchurian Candidate�. Then later this evening we will be parked in front of the television for Game 2 of the Mavericks and Heat Championship games.

I have prepared a packet of CaringBridge brochures that I will put in the mail first thing in the morning addressed to a friend who is the Clinical Research Coordinator at Parkland. I have also enclosed some of Sean�s website business cards. She will distribute these to families who might benefit from the services and therapy that the CaringBridge might provide to them. As I can attest, creating the website and writing the journal entries has helped me cope with the enormity of how our lives have changed.

The CaringBridge now has over 35,000 websites that have been created for loved ones. If you think about all of the emotions that I have shared over this site, you can only imagine the magnitude of feeling that must be wrapped up within these pages.

If there is ever anything you want to do to help Sean with his journey toward Recovery, please consider a donation to the CaringBridge. And if you ever have a loved one or friend who is dealing with a profound health challenge, such as dealing with cancer or some other disease, a brain injury, a birth related illness, please suggest they use the CaringBridge.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, June 11, 2006 12:14 AM CDT

This is Saturday�s entry. I forgot to post it!
Saturday, June 10th

Bob, Sean and I drove to Sam�s Club today. Sean wanted to get out and look around. He actually went over to the movie section and browsed while Bob and I wandered through the store. When we were loading back up, Sean decided that it was just too hot to go anywhere else, so we headed home.

Brian Wible is here now visiting with Sean. Of course, Sean had to stand up on his �skateboard� so that Brian could see. He just stood there with a HUGE grin on his face. We all watched Harrison Ford�s new movie on DVD, �Firewall�. We all would highly recommend it, a real thriller!

Hope your weekend is a Happy One!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for Sharing,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, June 9, 2006 6:41 PM CDT

The new wheelchair was delivered this afternoon and unfortunately, we sent it back. I was really aggravated because we have been waiting for this chair for several weeks. Praxair received the chair on Monday, the salesman told me that he would call me Tuesday morning and let me know when he could deliver it. He called me on Wednesday, not Tuesday, to let me know that he would call me on Friday morning.

Friday morning came, and went, and finally at 1:15 p.m., I called and talked to the receptionist and told her that I was very upset and I expected to have the chair today. At 2 p.m. I got a call from the serviceman who said he would be here at 4 p.m. When he arrived at almost 5, he brought the chair in and right away, Sean and I noticed that it did not have the leg rests we had been promised. Had he brought the chair earlier in the week, we might have been able to resolve this issue and still had the chair this afternoon. As it is, I would not accept the chair until we find out if indeed it was ordered wrong, or if this new chair could be modified to have the center mounted leg rests.

Sean brought the weekly Day Neuro newsletter and I noticed that there was an article with Sean�s name as the byline. He told me that he had to go to each department in the Rehab and ask them if they had any news to add to the paper. He gathered up the information and it was included in this week�s news.

We were both tired today after staying up watching The Mavs beat the Heat. We were both so happy. It was a great game, but I am sure the next one won�t be easy. The games are giving us something to look forward to, so it is making the Championship extra fun.

Bob starts Marathon Training with Dallas Fit tomorrow morning, as do all of my girlfriends. In the afternoon, Bob and I are going to take Sean to the Mall. Sean wants to get a water resistant watch so that he can know the time when he is in the Pool. Sunday afternoon, Ben, Cheryl and Shaya are coming over. Sean and I are going to think of somewhere that the 5 of us can go. Bob is going to go to the Shooting Range with his buddy and shoot clay pigeons.

We hope that all of you have a wonderful weekend.

Thank you for sharing and Thank you for caring,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, June 8, 2006 9:09 PM CDT

Sean's Cousin Jen gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, Ava Clair (probably not spelled right). Jen and her husband Ross Walton are so proud, as is Aunt Meri-Jac, Cousin Eryn and Cousin Tobin. Sean is already planning a trip to Minneapolis for Max and Mia's first birthday in the fall. He figures he will be able to meet Ava Clair at that time as well. He spelled to me tonight, "I really like babies."

Well, the Mavs� game is on and we are gathered in front of the television to watch. It�s the second quarter and the Heat have pulled out ahead of our boys. Don�t gloat yet, Jama, there is still a long way to go. Besides, we know your heart is here in Texas even though you live out there by the sandy beaches!

Sean had another first today that might embarrass him if I share it with you but it is a big one. If he reads through all of my journal entries (and I know that he has) there are many of these embarrassing entries. He text messaged me today and wrote, �I sat on the pot for the first time since my accident!� This is major. Although he uses the toilet all the time here at home, he sits on a transfer chair that rolls over the commode. His body has been so rigid that it was impossible for him to sit low enough to sit right on the seat. Well, with the help of the baclofen pump, and his progress in rehab, he is now able to bend and sit normally. He was really impressed with himself too. He told me when he got home that there was no back on it, so he had to hold himself up as well. His therapists just sat him down and left him until he was finished.

I was thinking about the stiffness of his body when he was an inpatient at BIR last year. He was so stiff that when he �sat� in his wheelchair his body was extended so far that I never thought his waist would bend again. And now look at the Miracle he experienced today.

It is really amazing to me to think about everything that Sean has had to learn to do over again. I think back over his �baby� steps as an infant. I thought about him today and thought back to his toddler days so long ago when we were finally able to get rid of the diapers. I never would have dreamed that we would re-live those days again. We did, but now, even those days this second time seem so long ago.

My son is a miracle. Each day is a miracle. If you think about drops of rain on a windowpane after the rain ends, and the myriad of rainbows reflected in them. That is the light that shines in my world, a little distorted from the tears, but beautiful. So beautiful.

And to make it even more special, Sean recognizes that they are miracles too!

Thank you for sharing and Thank you for caring,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, June 7, 2006 8:22 PM CDT

As I sat here tonight, I thought about our website and thought I needed to create an introduction. I have been told that new readers still logon to check on this wonderful young man, so full of courage and hope. Most of you have been reading since the beginning, or if not then, you have gone back to the first pages of our journal and you know Sean�s story. Because so many days have past, I thought I would add a short history to let people know what started so long ago.

We got the liftgate on the truck. Sean and I went out this evening to check it out and just briefly �test� it. I didn�t bring an extra chair for Sean to sit on so he just drove his chair onto the gate and I raised it about 6 inches off of the ground, and then let it down. We both are so excited. What a difference this will make for the two of us when we venture out in the future.

Sean rode the hand bike again today. He told me that he had fun riding it through the first floor hall ways at B.I.R.

We are gearing up for the first Mavs and Heat game Thursday evening. GO MAVS!!!

Thank you for caring,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, June 6, 2006 8:21 PM CDT

One day a month, the Day Neuro patients are taken on a community outing. They wouldn�t tell Sean where they were going, so he just knew he was going to be bored. Sure enough at 10:30, I had a text message from him. He said �I am totally bored. We are in Preservation Dallas the Wilson Block. This is a block of Swiss Avenue that he and I walk down to get to and from BIR. There are several beautiful historical homes that house several charitable offices. It is not exactly the kind of thing that a young 23 year old man would be interested in. I probably would have enjoyed it, because I always enjoy walking down that street. In fact one day this spring I took pictures of each one of the houses as I walked to meet Sean.

Sean also spelled for me this afternoon that he walked in the pool farther, and in much shallower water. He said that the water is normally about 5 inches above his navel and today it was about 3 inches below his navel. This means that he is displacing less water and actually getting more of his own weight on his feet.

He has been looking at classes at UTD tonight. His speech therapist wanted him to take a class actually at the college so that he could get back in the swing of school and figure out how he would function out in that environment again. Unfortunately, we have determined that it is too late to start anything this summer semester.

Sean�s insurance benefits don�t run out until April 30, 2007, but that day creeps closer with each passing day of this year. He could continue to go to Rehab, there is no limit to the days, but there seems to be a limit to how long he can stay at any one facility. I am not sure what our next step will be, but I am not going to worry about it for another couple of weeks. Then I will try to start figuring it out.

Sean and I are really looking forward to Thursday night when the Mavs play the first of the best of seven games against the Miami Heat. We are going through basketball withdrawal right now.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, June 5, 2006 8:56 PM CDT

Sean was so proud as he rolled onto the van with two Mavericks Western Conference Champs Flags on the back of his wheelchair, and he was wearing the championship T-shirt. Oh and by the way, his new wheelchair has finally arrived in Dallas. The tech called today from Praxair to let me know that it is here and he will be assembling it. He will call me Tuesday morning to schedule the swap of chairs. At this time, I do not know if it is just the base and the seating assembly will be moved onto it, or if it is an entire new chair. It won�t matter to us as long as all of the mechanical and technological components work properly.

Sean accidentally spilled his meat while pouring his food containers out on his plate this afternoon, so I had to run by the Smokehouse and buy him some turkey and run it up to B.I.R. for lunch. He spelled to me that he walked with just Kathy and the walker today. This is the first time ever he has been able to go with just one person. Normally there is someone in the front holding on who supports and pulls the walker, while Kathy stands behind him holding his gait belt and using her right foot to leverage his right foot forward. I am not sure how they accomplished their journey with just Kathy, but he told me that she was behind him and she still had to push his right foot a little, but they made their 500 foot circuit around the first floor of the rehab.

Bob's nephew fell off his dirt bike and broke his wrist Sunday morning, so they left all of their camping gear and took him to Lampasas to the little hospital there. They had no one who could treat him there, so they ended up driving him home to Denton where he went to the ER at Presbyterian Hospital of Denton. The ER doctor "popped" it back into place and Willie was supposed to see an orthopedic surgeon this afternoon. At this time we have not heard the outcome. Bob is going to drive back down to the lease tomorrow and come straight back after he picks up their equipment. He is afraid the cows might leave a "present" for him in his sleeping bag.

Thank you for sharing and Thank you for caring,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, June 4, 2006 6:51 PM CDT

Sunday Morning�Bob wasn�t here, so I got up and ran out to the front of our apartments and bought a Sunday paper. Bob usually does that for me. I don�t like to leave Sean by himself in the apartment, but I was only gone for less than 5 minutes. I didn�t really expect Sean to wake up that early but I guess the sound of the door opening and shutting, woke him up. He wasn�t ready to get out of bed, but he spelled to me that he had slept long enough. I piled in the bed with him to read the paper.

When I finished reading the sports, I got Sean up and made his breakfast. He ate while I showered and then I loaded him up and we went to Academy and bought a Mavericks Western Conference Champions shirt for him. We were out, but couldn�t think of anywhere else that we wanted to go so we came back home.

We watched the rest of the episodes of Season 1 of �Rescue Me� this afternoon. I smoked a brisket out on our smoker, and Sean and I have eaten dinner. We are looking forward to seeing Bob this evening and hear his stories of his weekend camping trip.

Thank you for sharing and Thank you for caring,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Saturday, June 3, 2006 9:03 PM CDT

Saturday, June 3, 2006 �

Bob has gone down to his deer lease for the weekend. He went with one of his brothers and his 13 year old nephew. Sean and I have spent a quiet day here at home. We have spent a good portion of the day watching the first season of �Rescue Me� on DVD.

Ben came over this afternoon. I had an office chair that I reupholstered in a colorful fabric for Shaya�s room. Cheryl works on Saturday and Shaya was at a pool party. Ben ended up taking a nap on the couch.

Sean�s stomach started to hurt this morning, but once he had his magic pill the pain went away. He even used the �skateboard� two different times and stood up a total of 6 times. Sean was working on sit-ups this afternoon. I have added a couple more new pictures on his photo page.

We are now getting ready to settle in and watch the Mavericks game. We are so looking forward to them winning tonight and going on to play Miami! Good Luck Mavs!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, June 2, 2006 8:25 PM CDT

I have been so remiss. Sean received this shirt from some of his Army of Angels who work at Midwestern State University. The school has a new logo. No longer are they the Indians. They are now The Mustangs. It is so kind and so special that there are still people at the University who think of Sean and remember him.

We stayed up last night and watched The Mavs trounce on the Pheonix Suns. What a game. It was such a good one to watch. Sean fell asleep as soon as the game was over.

Sean awoke about 11:30 with excruciating stomach pain. He spelled to me that his stomach hurt so bad he wanted me to take him to the Emergency Room. He said he didn�t feel that he could breathe. I watched him and he did not really exhibit symptoms of actual shortness of breath, nor was he flushed, or sweating, or did he show any other symptoms. I had a medication that Sean had taken in the past for stomach pain that we had discontinued sometime ago. He was sitting up in a chair slumped over with his head almost in his lap. He told me that was the only way he could feel comfortable. I woke Bob up and told him that we were probably going to have to take Sean to Baylor, but I told him that I wanted to wait a few minutes. The thought of sitting in such a big ER at that time of night is not a good one. Besides, we are so close that I just felt that if his pain continued or worsened it would just take 2 to 3 minutes to get him there.

I coaxed him back into bed and raised the head and foot of his bed up so that he was �cradled� in it, and he told me that he would try to sit there for a little while. I climbed in beside him and we ended up falling asleep. During the night, I woke up and lowered the bed to it�s flat position and Sean continued to sleep throughout the remainder of the night.

When we woke up he agreed to go to therapy. He said his stomach still hurt a little so I gave him another one of the pills. I also called his doctor and he told me just to continue the pill for several days. I feel like it is possible that Sean was having muscle spasms. He stood on his �skateboard� (the device that Bob made). In fact he pulled himself up from his wheelchair 5 times yesterday afternoon. I really think that it is engaging so many muscles that it could have really strained his abdominals. He has also had this pain in the past, around Thanksgiving and his doctor felt like that was what was wrong with him then. Dr. Allison told me, however, that if his pain started up again over the weekend I needed to take him to the ER.

Sean sent me a text message from Therapy today and told me that �I walked 500 feet give or take!!! I would say my pain is about a 3. There is some pain but it is bearable.� When he got home he spelled to me that he walked in the pool today with his physical therapist only. Normally it takes two people to help him walk.

Even though Sean had a rocky night, he had a wonderful day! He is fine this evening, so we will just have to say prayers and keep our fingers crossed.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, June 1, 2006 7:30 PM CDT

Thank you so much for all of the entries made on Sean�s website over the course of this day. It is good to have so many let us know they care. Brenda Rowan, Sean still remembers Billy and Nate�s kindness. He even remembers the evening that Nate slipped the card under his door at B.I.R. We are glad to hear that Billy has been able to go back to work. Please let Robbye and all know that we are thinking of them and sending hugs their way.

Jama, we will rejoice with you that your Mom has no more evidence of cancer. That is wonderful! And Melissa, we are jealous that you have two weeks to spend in the Virgin Islands. Enjoy your time there. What a long way from Boston!

Tonye, how are your twins? And your twin sister? Sean�s cousin Jenn, Eryn�s sister is due to deliver her first baby at any moment. We are all excited, waiting to hear the good news of a new family member.

Teri, how are you liking your new job. What�s it feel like to be �boss lady� over so many people?

Sean spelled to me that he didn�t do anything special today. He can�t think of any �firsts�. But that�s ok, because he is getting stronger and he did say that what he is doing he did better today.

Tonight is another Mavericks night. We have our fingers crossed that they will do better than they did Tuesday night!

Thank you so much for continuing to support us and continuing to send prayers up in Sean�s name!

Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, May 31, 2006 8:21 PM CDT

It is hard to believe that there are still those of you out there who care about the daily accomplishments that Sean continues to achieve. We are so grateful.

I am glad to say that Sean woke up feeling much better about the world today. His funk was short lived. He is so precious to me.

I have to share with you an incident that proves the world is very small. We had a videographer come out and film �a day in Sean�s life� once in the early stages of his recovery while still at BIR and then again while he was an inpatient at The Ranch in Anna. Well, the Sunday night that I had dinner with my �Saturday Breakfast Club� and then again this past Saturday, there was a gal who was new to me but has become �one of our gang�. She e-mailed this morning and told me that she had been talking to her husband and telling him Sean�s story, and you guessed it�She is married to our videographer!

Sean got home this afternoon, and I was going through his bag getting his lunch stuff out to wash, when I came upon a card with a letter inside addressed to �Sean and Ms. Jenny�. I opened the letter up and it turns out it was from a fellow patient at Day Neuro, who is �graduating� to the outside world on Friday. She told us how much she admired Sean and his attitude and his smile. She shared that he was truly an inspiration to her in her own recovery. I have so much gratitude for people who take the time to let me know how Sean has helped them in their own recovery.

You know, I don�t believe there will ever be an explanation for why this happened to Sean. I have to go forward without trying to search for the answer to that riddle. I do have to be thankful that Sean goes forward each day with that smile that he shares with the world. Sean spelled to me this morning, �Smiles are the only thing that I can give you, MoM, but I give them to you readily and happily�. He is so full of courage, and even though I wonder sometimes how his injuries could be so profound, I am so thankful for the gift of the mind that Sean has.

Brenda Reeves, we hope your today was better than these recent yesterdays.

Thank you for caring, and thank you so much for one of you at least, each day, writing in Sean�s guestbook. Even though you may think that it doesn�t matter, we read each word that is written and hold it in our hearts like a precious stone that must be treasured forever.

Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, May 30, 2006 8:14 PM CDT

Sean and I both woke up in a funk this morning. For that matter, I guess Bob did too. He did not go run because he said that he just did not sleep well and he was real achy this morning.

When I went in to wake Sean up he was awake. He told me that he woke up cold and he felt really helpless because he could do nothing about it except wait for me to come in to get him for the day. I pulled a pink shirt out for him to wear and he told me that he did not have the self confidence to wear that shirt today after waking up the way he did. It made me feel so bad.

I don�t know what was wrong with me, but I guess we all have those days occasionally and today was mine. I would like to say that now as the end of the day is near, I was over it but it just isn�t so.

Sean and I had a family conference today and Sean�s new discharge day is September 1. I feel like this really will be our final day. This is when prayers need to kick in even harder to get Sean�s body working for him again. We want so much for him to be able to start college again this fall. He will have been out of school for 18 months at that time and it will be time for us to start planning our future in earnest. I feel so helpless, but I know that tomorrow will be better. As I look over all of Sean�s goals when he first came into BIR, and look at where he is today, I know things are so much, much better.

Thank you for hanging in with us when our Caringbridge site was down.

To all of you: Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, May 29, 2006 7:41 PM CDT

How �bout them Mavs? Sean, Bob and I watched two great games this weekend. We are sure hoping that they can beat Pheonix and go onto the Finals.

We have had an enjoyable Memorial Day Weekend. We didn�t do much on Sunday, but Monday we met Ben, Cheryl and Shaya at the new AMC Theaters at Northpark Mall and saw the DaVinci Code. Afterwards, Ben and Cheryl drove home with Sean and Shaya and I went to Bakers Ribs and brought Bar-b-que home for dinner.

Bob brought Sean�s standing device home this evening so Sean was able to demonstrate his new abilities to pull himself upright from his wheelchair. Of course they were impressed with him.

The Home Page of Sean�s website is corrupted so know one has been able to access the journal or his guestbook. We miss peoples entires in the guestbook. I have contacted The Caringbridge, and we are hoping that the website will be corrected by the end of Tuesday.

Sean wanted me to let you know that while watching the Mavs game Sunday night he was able to get his right arm up in the air for a big �Yay� at the end of the game. He also made the funniest face. He told me he was touching his upper lip to his nose for the first time since is accident. These are two firsts for him and we are excited!

Thank you for checking in on us, and Thank you for caring,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, May 26, 2006 6:59 PM CDT

Sean played the meanest trick on me today. He started to roll out of the van, and I looked up at him and saw this big bug on his shoulder! I screamed and the bus driver started laughing and Sean was laughing, then I realized it was a fake cock roach. Even funnier is that Sean just left it on his shoulder and we came on in the house, and I�ll be darned if I didn�t turn around and spot it again and I screamed again! Sean thought it was so funny that he had pulled one over on me twice!

We had forgotten his watch today, so when he text messaged me to let me know, I ran up to BIR to drop it off. I got there just in time to watch him walk. Kathy, his PT, said that he is walking so much easier. She said she that he has improved even from the last time that I saw him a week ago. Sean�s right foot still has to be pushed forward a little with each step, but it is moving straighter now. He used to toe in so bad that Kathy would really have to keep her foot almost against his, but now she just helps slide it forward a little and Sean does the rest.

Sean�s Dad called this afternoon. He is planning on coming down Saturday afternoon. Ben, Cheryl, Sean and I are planning on spending the day together on Monday. I think we are going to try to go to see a morning movie. It will be the first time that Sean will have gone to the movie since his accident, so we thought it would be easier to maneuver in the morning. Usually the crowds are not to big then. Bob only closes his shop on Christmas Day and Thanksgiving Day, so he will be at work on Monday. He is also planning on working on Sean�s truck this weekend.

Except for our outing on Monday, I imagine that Sean and I will just try to stay out of the heat!

We hope that all of you enjoy your Memorial Day Weekend. I will have some more pictures to post after this weekend.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, May 25, 2006 7:11 PM CDT

I was walking out of our apartment today to see if his van had arrived from Day Neuro and ran into one of Sean�s former physicians from BIR. As I share his story with you I would ask that you offer up a prayer for him. Dr. S (I will keep him anonymous) was a resident who worked with Dr. Carlile. He was always so attentive and caring with Sean. He cared for Sean during Sean�s second stay at BIR. Dr. S is young, I think late 20�s and is married. I had heard sometime ago that he had been diagnosed with a brain tumor and had to undergo surgery to remove the tumor. So, imagine my surprise as I walked out the door, I hear, �Aren�t you Sean Carter�s Mom?� When I looked up it was Dr. S! He has lost weight, and has maybe lost his hair as he was wearing a ball cap, and he looked a little tired. But, he looked so good! He told me that he had a tumor and it was removed. He said it was a strange kind of tumor that is usually diagnosed in children. It is rare for an adult to have it. He said the cells are usually present at birth and something makes it start growing. He said he had suffered a few bad headaches, but kind of blew them off, but then one day he was unable to write and he knew something was wrong.

Dr. S, had the surgery and radiation and is now undergoing chemotherapy but he is now able to work part time a little. He asked me all about Sean and how Todd was doing. Unfortunately he was running late getting home so he had to get to his apartment to his wife. He told me that she would be worried about him if he didn�t get up there soon. He did promise me that he would stop in one afternoon when Sean was home so that he could say hello to him.

Please send up a prayer for him tonight.

I spent two and a half hours on the phone this morning trying to figure out which doctor bills we still owed, and which ones were still being considered by Sean�s insurance company. We still have not received the letter of approval for Sean�s Rolltalk. Although our case manager from UHC assures me that the device has been approved. It is difficult because all of the explanations of benefits are automatically mailed to Sean�s Dad, and since he lives in Denison, it is difficult for me to always have the information at hand. He has been good to mail the EOB�s periodically, but I have to call UHC frequently to keep up with it all.

Thursday nights are our �Pizza Nights�. Well, we call it that, but it is simply the one night during the week that I don�t cook dinner. Sean and I had dinner from Cantina Laredo. Sean loves their enchiladas that are neuvo cuisine, with chicken, feta cheese, jicama, spinach and I don�t know what else. He loves them.

Bob came in briefly, he has been building a standing device for Sean that will slide under his Wheelchair and allow him to pull himself upright. Bob wanted Sean to try it out so that he could modify it as needed. Bob than cleaned up and went up to Luke�s Locker. They are having orientation for their annual Marathon Training Program. Sean and I are so happy that we all have gotten into such a routine that Bob feels like he can get back out. He has been meeting a group of running friends who call themselves the Park Cities Group. They run each morning at 6 a.m., allowing Bob to get to work by 7:30. Before Sean�s accident, Bob ran with that group for at least 5 years, so we are happy he is now back out there.

I am sorry about my posting from yesterday. I wrote it, but must not have done the last step to save it to our web page last night. If you want to check out Wednesday�s posting it should be in the history now.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, May 25, 2006 6:44 PM CDT

Sean had an appointment with a neurologist today. We were hoping for some magic elixir, I think. Although not surprised, we found out that there really is nothing except time and repetition, repetition, repetition, and therapy, therapy, therapy. Since Sean is currently doing that, we know that at least, he is on the right track.

The neurologist was so surprised at Sean�s cognition and I think he really enjoyed his time with Sean. Sean, as usual was quick witted, communicative (via his Rolltalk) and as always, full of smiles. The doctor seemed very surprised to hear that Sean intends to go back to college. He talked to us about that toward the beginning of the exam, but after spending time with Sean, I believe he was convinced that Sean could accomplish any goal he sets for himself.

Sean told me that he put his whole head under water today. He is so proud of this new accomplishment. This was something that he could not have done previously. Anytime you covered his nose, or water hit his face, he automatically sucked in air (and water) through his mouth.

I had to meet Ben at the Ford Dealership today. We had to have proof of identification, which he did not have because of the theft. They would not turn over the keys to us, without this. Ben told me that he did not think the police were even going to do anything about the thief being visible on Best Buys� tapes. At least he no longer has to worry about the threat of theft of his vehicle, at least not from this incident.

Don�t forget, the Mavs play the Suns tonight, and it is the last night for American Idol this season. Good luck Taylor!

Thank you for caring, and thank you for sharing,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, May 23, 2006 8:29 PM CDT

Please be careful. Ben goes to the gym every afternoon to work out during lunch. When he went back into the locker room at 24 hour Fitness, his lock had been taken off of his locker and his watch, cell phone, and pants with credit cards and drivers license were all stolen. He called me at about 2:20 p.m. to tell me. His keys were also in his pants pocket. Luckily his car was still in the parking lot, but he couldn�t get into it because he just has the one key that was in his pants pocket.

He notified his credit card company, and found out that, a $1900 purchase had been made at the Best Buy in Farmers Branch. He went to that Best Buy and they found the transaction. It had been made at 1:42 p.m. A very expensive camera had been purchased. They were able to isolate the person by checking the video�s recorded on store cameras at that time. The sales clerk said that the guy who purchased the camera even presented his driver�s license with his own picture on it. The thief is black, and you all have seen pictures of Ben.

Of course he is extremely upset. Best Buy has called Farmers Branch police, and stops have been made on Ben�s cards.

Ben was also worried that his car might be stolen. It is pretty easy to locate a car, if you have the remote. All you do is walk through rows of cars and depress the panic button. Eventually the car will start honking and you have the remote, so you depress the panic button again to turn it off and there you have it, A new car. Luckily, that did not happen. Ben had to have his car towed to a Ford dealership. They have to have the car to rekey it because cars these days have a chip in the key that allows them to work. I found that out after I drove up Lemmon Ave. to a Ford dealership to have a key made.

That was our excitement for the day, hopefully for a while.

In the meantime, Sean has another first, two of them actually. He is watching TV tonight from a regular chair. His PT had called this afternoon and said that he needs to start sitting on regular furniture to help him with his balance. His other one happened in the pool today. He held his nose and went underwater for 10 seconds. He is extremely proud of this because he has not been able to hold his breath at all since his accident.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, May 22, 2006 8:54 PM CDT

I have just gotten Sean into bed. He wanted to watch the Mavericks/Spurs play-off game from his bed. This note will be short because I want to watch the end of this game as well. Sean told me that there were no �firsts� today. He was wrong. I forgot to take his shirt off when I laid him down. Ordinarily I would have had to roll him from side to side to get his shirt up over his head. This evening he was able to raise his body up enough for me to just slide it up his back and off over his head!

It is a good day!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing!
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Saturday, May 20, 2006 7:18 PM CDT

There is a gentleman in Sean�s Day Neuro Program, who was highlighted in their weekly newsletter. Stanley is a stroke survivor. Each week, one patient is selected to tell �My Personal Story�. I wanted to share the last paragraph of his story:

�I feel extremely well and very happy with my progress. I�m motivated by the development of the other patients and the dedication of the therapists, respectively. I have to admit, �My biggest and daily inspiration comes from Sean � to see his smiling face and giant spirit is just so very overwhelming.�

And that is how I have felt about my son, each and every day on this journey toward recovery!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, May 19, 2006 8:30 PM CDT

Sean had another good therapy day today. He walked with the walker a total of 350 feet with only 1 rest stop at the half way point. There have been really good gains in his strength this week.

He does get on the computer most days for a short time, so feel free to e-mail him at scarter83@aol.com. He doesn�t sit here long. Sometimes it is harder than other times for him to get his eyes to focus on the screen.

Most evenings he likes to play Spider Solitaire on his Roll Talk. It is a great game for stimulating his brain. He has gotten me hooked on it as well. I have the game on our PC, so I will frequently sit down and play a game. It took me many, many games before I began to win a few. Sean wins frequently.

He has been practicing (trying) to answer the phone. I don�t usually have the home phone (land line) plugged in, but today I did. It rings all the time with telemarketing calls. Sean keeps thinking if he just answers it, one day he won�t be thinking that he can�t talk, and maybe a �Hello� will come out. He struggles so hard, and we both laugh over his attempts. We really get a kick out of thinking about the people on the other end of the line trying to get in touch with someone, and be greeted with silence. Oh well, it serves them right!

Oh, I forgot to let you know. The young lady from the Sherman area (Michelle Morris� sister Bobbie Joe) who was in ICU at Baylor, is now at BIR. She is actually able to walk and talk. I stopped by to see her and talked to her Mom for a few minutes. She told me that Bobby has varying degrees of amnesia, sometimes thinking she is back in the fourth grade, sometimes not recognizing her sister or her brother. But she is getting better.

As I look around when I am at Baylor Rehab, it always amazes me looking around at all the people there. Sean still seems to be the one with the most profound deficits. But he also seems to me to have the fewest cognitive deficits. I guess God knew what we needed the most. I always prayed that Sean�s mind would return and it has, perhaps even better than it was before.

Well, once again it is Friday. We hope you have a wonderful weekend.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, May 18, 2006 9:56 PM CDT

I guess you can tell by the pics, I got to run up and see Sean ride the bike this morning. He had the biggest grin on his face the entire time. He has too have one PT run at the front of the bike to steer and then one runs behind him helping to push if he gets tired. I don�t know if you can tell, but his right hand has to be strapped onto the hand pedal to keep it on there. All of this is helping the strength in his arms and shoulders and across his back.

Once I left BIR, I spent the rest of my free time going between Baylor University Medical Center and Parkland Hospital gathering up all the copies of records relating to Sean�s brain injury. He will be going to see a neurologist on Wednesday, so I had to go request copies of any CT scan, MRI and EEG of the brain as well as get copies of the discharge summaries. The staff at each hospital was so nice but it all took time.

Parkland gave me Sean�s entire chart so that I could review and mark the reports I wanted copied. When I first started reading it, I felt as though I was being catapulted back to that day in March, 1 year ago. I had to stop for a moment and reign in my emotions before I could move on. Then I thought of the look on my son�s face on that bike, and here I am, thankful for the day that I shared with him. Thankful for the prayers of all of you!

Thank you for caring and thank you for sharing,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, May 17, 2006 8:11 PM CDT

Wow, was I ever excited today! Sean told me that he rode a bike today! Ok, let me explain. It was a three wheeler with a seat similar to a wheelchair. The handlebar was also the propeller. The handlebar was a U shape with Sean�s hands even with each other. He would move his left hand around and the right one was moved at the same time. Kathy, his PT, said that she and another PT were running around the entire first floor of BIR, one on either side of Sean, for a half hour.

Sean also spelled to me that he walked in the shallow pool where the water was only up to his thighs. He was able to do it with just Kathy holding onto him for balance just like they do it in the deep pool, but he did not have near the buoyancy since it was a much shallower pool.

We had problems getting it together with Transportation today. Once again we had a fill in driver who sat out in the driveway waiting on Sean this morning. He left before we knew what had happened, so when I called the supervisor they came back to get Sean. This afternoon Sean texted me and told me that he could not find his driver. I texted back and told him to go to second floor nurses station and have them page the transporters. He followed through and was home shortly there after. When he got home I told him that is what he always needed to do if he couldn�t find his driver.

All things said, Sean has a most productive day!

Thank you for caring and thank you for sharing,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, May 16, 2006 8:25 PM CDT

I ran up to BIR this morning to learn how to help Sean with a leg lifting exercise to strengthen his hips. He is so much stronger in his left hip, than his right, and we need to work to strengthen it. This will help him stand straighter. As it is now, he tends to bend into almost a �C� shape with his left hip thrust out. I stayed to watch him walk. It has been a couple of weeks since I have been up there to watch him, and I see improvements. Although Kathy still has to help his right foot, she is not having to lift it for him any longer. Sean can move it, but he tends to bring it to the inside, so Kathy keeps her foot on the inside of his and moves it forward to help him move his foot straight.

It takes two people to actually help him walk and then another one walks backwards, but out in front of him. He is supposed to keep his eyes on her eyes to teach him to walk erect, instead of looking down at his feet. He has to relearn the naturalness of his strides as he is relearning to walk.

I am so happy to see my son upright and moving. There is hope for a brighter future!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, May 15, 2006 10:21 PM CDT

Sean and I watched Prison Break this evening while Bob was out running. He was just coming in the door, when he heard Sean and I arguing about a scene that had just happened. Sean had been doing sit ups in his wheelchair, and as Bob was walking in Sean sat up FAST and yelled at me. Of course during our argument, Sean was not talking, he was gesturing and I was explaining loudly to him what I had just seen. I thought he was arguing with me, but he and Bob looked at each other as I brought his speller over to him. He spelled, �You called me Todd�. That is what he was trying to tell me all along! It was such a priceless moment. Bob, of course, had to pitch in his two cents worth and tell me, �I heard you call him Todd.� We all laughed so hard. Bob was so excited because he had not seen Sean do his sit ups before, and it was the fastest that I had ever seen him come up from a prone position.

When Sean came home this afternoon I asked him if there was anything new I could put on the website today. He spelled, �Yes, you can tell everyone that I went all day today with out having to wipe my drool!� We do get excited over the littlest things. When you look at Sean sitting in his chair, he does not look as though there is anything wrong. He is still so beautiful. But then as you watch him, you see his hands are curled and he moves with a little jerky motion as he brings his left arm up to his face, and yes, sometimes, his brain forgets to tell his throat to swallow and he drools. It is then you realize there are still little road bumps in his way. It is easy to count the hurdles, but when he makes it over one of these �speed bumps� on his own, there is still great cause for celebration.

Cheryl and I ran up to the Ikea store today. Well, not exactly, we did drive the truck. I had to buy some more of this plastic ware that is designed perfectly for Sean to eat with. It seems so ridiculous because they only cost $1.49 for a set of 6 forks, spoons, and knives, but they are the only thing we have found that Sean can hold comfortably in his hand to eat. I bought three bags of them. The last two bags have lasted for 6 months. Hopefully, when we wear these out, Sean will have graduated to regular silverware. But if not, who cares?

Thank you for sharing and thank you for caring,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, May 14, 2006 8:53 PM CDT

I had a wonderful Mother�s Day with my sons, Sean and Ben, and with Bob, Cheryl and Shaya. Bob had �shopped� for Sean and together they gave me a beautiful Mother�s Day card. Shaya brought me some beautiful carnations, and Ben and Cheryl had brought this pretty set of yard lights. They know that I love that kind of thing.

Ben also got the funniest card. I have to share it with you. If you know Ben, you will know exactly how much like him the card is�

His card reads � Mom, I took a long hard look at myself in the mirror this morning, and I just thought I�d tell you�� Inside the card read, �Nice Job!� I had the best laugh. I could not have picked out a better card. He also wrote in it, �You know I�m not like Todd, so you aren�t going to get a sappy novel written by me, But, I Love You MoM.� and then he signs it �Ben Carter�. I guess he was afraid I would confuse him with all of the other Ben�s that I know.

Sean gave me the cutest sign, It is very whimsical looking and reads, �Wishing you the World�. He spelled to me, �You deserve it.�

Of course, Todd and Kori called this morning to wish me a happy day. Todd said that his card was on the way, so I still can look forward to having it arrive.

Thank you all for caring and thank you for sharing,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Saturday, May 13, 2006 8:36 PM CDT

Sean and I got up this morning and decided to go to breakfast with my girlfriends. Since it is Mother�s Day Weekend, there were only 3 of them, Luann, Becky and Alpha. We had the best time, laughing and talking. Sean had us in stitches too, because he would get tickled at something one of them said. Afterwards we wandered through some of the shops in the little strip center we were in. Sean picked out a present for me and had it wrapped, so I have a present from him for Mother�s Day. He is so sweet to me.

He told me that he wanted to meet for breakfast with them next Saturday as well. He spelled, �I really enjoyed myself. They are a real group of nuts!� I think we may go to an 11 a.m. movie as well.

When we got home, Sean was tired and decided he needed a nap. Bob had been at the shop this morning. He came in while Sean was napping and decided he needed to take one as well. I ended up falling asleep for a brief time while watching TV.

We are all watching the Mavs play the Spurs and are hoping our �Dallas boys� will win these playoffs. It will be a first for them, so our fingers are crossed.

We all want to wish you a very Happy Mother�s Day!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, May 12, 2006 7:45 PM CDT

It is almost Mother�s Day. I am afraid that the voice of Sean that I wished to hear a year ago will continue to allude me. That is alright. Last Mother�s Day we had no idea if Sean would return to us with his mind. He was still in a coma and he didn�t even connect with us with a glance. It was such a very troubling time. That is no longer the way it is. Even though Sean can not speak, his expressions and his emotions are his, and his ability to communicate with us is here. I no longer wish for things to happen. I just know, as Sean�s Mother, that they will.

The weekend is again upon us. I don�t know yet what our plans are. I know that Ben, Cheryl and Shaya will be over here sometime this weekend. Bob is dying to get down to his hunting lease again, but he keeps telling me that it is Mother�s Day Weekend so he should be here with us. Perhaps he will make time to go next weekend.

Sean is playing Spider Solitaire in the Living Room and Bob is out for his evening run. I am trying to make a short entry here for this evening so that I can relax for the rest of the evening.

I cooked Beer Butt chicken out on our little Smoky grill this afternoon. Sean and I have eaten and the dishes are done. Bob�s dinner is staying warm, waiting for him to get back from his run.

To all of you Moms reading our website, Thank you for continuing down this Recovery Road with me. You make my journey so much easier, knowing that I don�t walk alone.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, May 11, 2006 10:21 PM CDT

For the past 410 days when Sean has been his bed, little more than his left arm has moved. For the past 5,940,000 minutes, when Sean is in his bed, he has been immobile. Tonight, when I put him to bed, I was in his bathroom, straightening things up and I happened to look through the doorway at him lying in his bed. Today, about 35,424,000 seconds from the moment that Sean�s occurred, I saw him raise his left knee off of the bed and kind of make a little wiggle up onto the right side of the bed. The movement was so natural and normal. He looked like anyone who was just settling into the bed and making himself comfortable. But, it was the first time for Sean!

After I called his attention to it, he just kept raising that knee up. Testing the waters, or in his case, reveling in the fact that there was something he could do now to move just a little in his bed. About 9,840 hours from the time of Sean's accident, he leaned forward from his waist while in the shower chair. He leaned and leaned until his chest almost touched his knees, and he reached his left hand out. And he touched the water coming out of the faucet!

Miracles continue to unfold. There was a time this past year, for many, many months, when Sean took his shower reclining back in a big mean looking grey shower chair, because his body would not bend at the hips so that he could sit upright in a normal sitting position. Today, he bent double! Hallelujah! God is Good!

Sean spelled to me that he hadn�t done much at Therapy today. Which for him, means that he did do all of his normal stuff, including Aqua Therapy. All of this therapy is helping. His body is slowly awakening. And someday so will I. These days that are often so routine and monotonous will be behind us. Sean will be up and walking and talking again. Just as I said, many, many months ago, �My son will rise again!�

Thank you for caring and Thank you for Sharing!
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, May 10, 2006 10:22 PM CDT

Sean and I were discussing his lunch for tomorrow, when he told me about something new that he started last Friday. I am not really sure how he is doing this, but he is now getting his own plate ready for lunch. I always pack 3-4 containers full of food, and place them in his lunch box with an ice pack. He�s always told me that everyone is envious of his food because it always looks so good. He takes a plate that I had found at the Ikea store that has high sides so that he can push his food against them and get his food speared on his fork. I am not sure that he opens the containers, but he dumps them onto his plate and then gets it ready for the microwave. Baby steps add to gather to make a stride!

This evening when he came in from the van, he beat me to our gate and he pushed the gate code in. Because he has to drive his wheelchair in front of the gate, he could not actually get it open, but I think the time will come when he will figure out a way.

Sean and I have been American Idol fans this season. We were both crushed tonight when Chris was kicked off. Sean spelled to me, �I don�t think I care to watch this anymore�. Todd, Sean and I had all decided that Chris would be the winner, and we religiously voted each week. I guess we didn�t do it enough, though. I feel bad, but I called Todd to tell him, and the show doesn�t even air until two hours after it does here, so I took away his suspense.

Afterwards we watched Dateline�s �To Catch a Predator�. It is hard to believe that these guys are still trying to meet up with youngsters when many of them have seen the previous shows. They have to be complete whacko�s! Which of course they are, or they wouldn�t be doing what they are doing.

We also watched the scenes of the fly over�s from the tornado ravaged Collin County. The area that was hit was so close to the Pate Ranch. I am so thankful Sean is here with us, and I don�t have to worry about how they would evacuate him and the other wheelchair bound people. It is hard to imagine the devastation that those folks are feeling tonight after losing their homes. Many of them looked like there was nothing left to salvage.

Jama, Sean and I think about you each time Florida and the fires, are mentioned on the news. Where are you in relation to all of the burns?

Thank you for caring and thank you for sharing,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, May 9, 2006 9:52 PM CDT

This will be a short journal entry today. Sean had to do Neuorpsychology testing all day so he did not get any other therapy. He is supposed to go �across the street� to the Big Baylor Cafeteria on Tuesday�s but his wheelchair had to be worked on again today. One of the leg rests was stuck in the extended position, making it difficult to get comfortable. It was also making it very difficult for him to make some turns through doorways because of the length of his chair. The wheelchair repairman came in right at lunch time, so Sean�s therapist walked over and brought his lunch back to him.

I did my usual grocery store errands, and included a swing through the Farmers� Market for some patty pan squash. It was so hot and humid today. I heard the heat index was 104 degrees today. For some reason it seemed even worse walking through the stalls at the Market.

This afternoon was shower day. We finished at exactly 4 p.m. Sean was excited, that was the quickest time ever. While I cooked, Sean spent most of his time on the computer. We had dinner, and he was back on the computer again. Now it is bedtime�.

Thank you for caring, and thank you so much for sharing,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, May 8, 2006 9:50 PM CDT

Sean had an appointment this morning to get a new style of AFO that is hinged at the ankle and is double adjustable at the ankle to control the amount of flexion or extension that his ankle can have.

Now that Todd has gone home, henever we have an appointment away from the Baylor complex, Sean and I have to manage all of the loading and unloading ourselves. We are always quite a spectacle when we roll out. What Todd or Ben or Bob could do and attract no attention, is completely different when I am doing it. I think people are amazed when a woman of my age, (I will be 55 this summer) is seen crawling into and out of the truck bed, manhandling the ramps, and the chair to get it in position to go up or down the ramps. We always seem to draw a crowd of onlookers, not volunteers to help, but onlookers who just pretty much watch what we are doing.

Jeans and T-shirts have to be my attire of choice, because the ramps tend to get oxidation on them that always seem to rub off on my clothes. And as the weather continues to heat up as summer draws near, the entire process makes me hotter and hotter. Sean suffers as well, having to sit in the truck waiting on me to either get the chair for him, or to put it up into the truck.

I always wake up early the days that we have to make these journeys, or else don't sleep well the night before in anticipation of everything that I have to do. I wish there was away to automate it some more, but Bob and I have wracked our brains, and there just seems to be no better way.

Frequently someone will stop us and ask about Sean's accident, or they will make a remark about our whole process. Today a lady stopped, told us that she was a PT herself and she asked me if I was Sean's mom. She had read his name on his gait belt. When I answered yes, she said to Sean, "you have a great Mom."

Sean of course, continues to smile through it all. And so, I have no choice but to keep on doing what I do each day. Once we got into the truck, Sean apelled to me, "Don't take this wrong, MoM, but is it so unusual that you do what you do?" I told him, "Of course not, any parent would do this for their child".

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, May 7, 2006 8:16 PM CDT

Sean and I had planned on getting out and doing something toay, but we ended up just staying home. He has some HUGE news he wants me to share with everyone. We moved the leg rests on his wheelchair to the side. He reached out with his hands, I grasped his wrists, and Sean stood up!!!! This is a first and a huge one. I have always had to lift him up, although it has been getting easier, I was still lifting him to get him upright. No more. Sean can stand up with the barest of assistance. Once he did that, he was able to stand there, straight and tall, by just barely touching my shoulder with his left arm.

He was so excited and I was so excited. We just stood there for a few minutes hugging each other. What a great day!

Sean also spent a lot of the day at the computer. It has been a long time since he has done this. His feelings were hurt deeply by a couple of his �girl� friends and he has not wanted to be on in months. He had also been having trouble being able to actually see the screen, as well, so he just quit using the computer. He is once again at the computer, he even updated his MySpace website. For the past year he chose to leave the info from before his accident. Today he decided it was time to update it with the news of his accident and the way his life is now. He shared what he had written with me, and I am so proud of my beautiful boy.

We hope that all of you had a wonderful weekend.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Saturday, May 6, 2006 9:03 PM CDT

Sean and I were hoping to sleep a little late this morning, but we both woke up around 7. Since I was planning on going to meet my girlfriends, and Nanny and PaPaw would be down, we went ahead and got up. Bob was up shortly after. I made breakfast for Sean and was able to meet my friends at Whiterock Lake before they finished their walk. I got there in time to walk from the Bath House to the Dreyfus Club, not a considerable distance, but at least a little bit of a walk.

Afterwards we went on to breakfast. It was the good old laughter and conversation that I had been missing, and needing. Luanne�s daughter, Carrie, brought her infant son, Reid by as well. Reid is a beautiful 3 month old baby boy. I really enjoyed the morning. Afterwards we walked down to Joanne�s Fabrics as well as Tuesday Morning. Just wandering and talking as we used to.

Bob and I checked in with each other a couple of times. Nanny and PaPaw, Aunt Linda and Cousin Gary arrived about 9:30 and stayed for a couple of hours. Danny did not get to make it. Sean said he had a good time seeing everyone.

Shortly after I arrived home, Ben and Calem came over. Calem stayed with Sean and I while Ben rode his bike around Whiterock Lake. I had bought a shirt for Calem that said �I �heart� Mom�, so I put that on him and took a bunch of pictures trying to get a really good one for Cheryl. Ben and Cheryl are on their way to Wichita to take Calem to meet his Dad right now. Although we had bad weather last night, the weather channel does not show bad weather for their trip.

Sean has spent a lot of the day at the computer. I think he may have been e-mailing old friends, but I don�t like to invade his space so I am not sure. We watched a good movie together this afternoon, �The Family Stone�.

Sean is now in bed, and I think Bob and I will be headed that way before too long. At least, I know that I will be. Hope you all are having a good weekend.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, May 5, 2006 10:00 PM CDT

Well, we have all made it to another Friday. I am glad to say that I am feeling much, much better. Sean has a visit from Nanny and PaPaw and his Aunt Linda, and possibly his Dad, Saturday morning.

I gave Sean his shower this evening. We usually do this on Saturday morning, but, I am going to meet my running friends for breakfast. Sean likes to try to sleep in an extra hour on the weekends, so I won�t try to meet them for their walk, but I should have time to make it for breakfast. Bob will stay with Sean and the family while I go out for the morning. When I return home, Bob may go on down to his hunting lease for an overnight trip.

Sean was excited this afternoon. He told me that his PT told him that he is �almost� at a min assist with his transfers. This is an enormous accomplishment. We can think back and remember the very early days of his injury In fact it lasted for about 6 months, when it took two people to transfer Sean. That was considered max assist. He has been at moderate assist now for many, many, months.

Although Sean is still unable to move his feet when I transfer him into the shower, there is such a world of difference in the way we manage now and the first shower that he had when we moved into this apartment. That first time it took, Ben, Bob and I to get him into the tub and into the shower chair and hold him balanced in it while I showered him. Now, Sean and I do the whole process alone. Each time we get better and better maneuvering.

Sean�s baby steps are piling up, and it will soon seem like a giant step!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, May 4, 2006 8:16 PM CDT

Thank you all for your kind words and thoughts. I felt so bad about writing about myself last night that I got up early this morning and changed the journal entry to the info about Sean�s Roll Talk. I am so surprised at the number of you that read that entry. I am feeling somewhat better this morning. I have about decided that I had torn/strained my oblique muscle on the left side of my abdomen. It is the only thing that makes any sense. The pain was not located near my Gall Bladder, and the symptoms really did not match anything else. Thank heavens, Aunt Meri-Jac (my sis) is a Nurse, just a Thesis away from her Nurse Practitioner�s License.

I woke up this morning feeling a little better, but decided to make an appointment with a doctor down here anyway. I have gone to Denison doctors since the 80�s, so it is a big step to change to a �Big City� doctor. But, I almost didn�t get an appointment. I called to make an appointment and was told that the doctor does not accept self pay patients! I guess it is because even though they do not know how much insurance will pay, they know that eventually they will be paid. I explained that I was going to pay the minute I had my appointment. The receptionist still told me that was the doctor�s policy. I finally had to tell her that Sean and Ben were both his patients and they were insured, so would he make an exception.

Well, I am happy to say that he did, but for a little while I thought I would have to become one of those ER statistics who walk in, get treated, and don�t pay because they can�t afford it. Crazy, isn�t it, when cash is not good enough?

Yes, another week of Therapy is almost over. Little Calem goes back to his Dad�s for the summer. I can�t remember exactly where that is, I just know it is a long way, away. Ben and Cheryl will drive up to Wichita, KS, the half way point, Saturday evening to drop him off and then will drive back home Sunday morning. I have made Calem a little travel goody bag to take for his road trip. Sean spelled this morning, �Both of our babies will be gone.� My heart really goes out to Cheryl, because I know that she really misses him when he is up there.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for Sharing,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, May 4, 2006 6:50 AM CDT

Well, there is not a lot to say for Wednesday. We did have one piece of news though, that is worth sharing. I had a call from Sean�s case manager at United HealthCare. She normally calls me on Thursday mornings, but she just happened to check yesterday on the status of Sean�s appeal on his Roll Talk.

According to the notes in their system, Sean�s appeal was closed effective April 28. Although we do not have the official notification, she told me that �His Roll Talk was APPROVED!!!! Two physicians had reviewed everything and determined that in Sean�s case it is a medical necessity.

What a wonderful thing! I know that all of you deserve credit here, because the Lord must have heard all of the petitions coming his way on Sean�s behalf. Sean, of course, is absolutely thrilled!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, May 3, 2006 9:30 PM CDT

I have had extreme abdominal pain for the past 3 days. I have vacillated between thinking I might have pulled a muscle in my side to reviewing symptoms of anything related to the abdomen. I called my big sis, Aunt Meri-Jac, tonight. She has told me in no uncertain terms that I have got to make an appointment to see a doctor tomorrow. This is another time the enormity of our situation hits me. I have not had insurance since I quit EmCare. I also don�t really have anyone else to ask to be the care giver for Sean.

I am not really sure what is wrong, but the pain has increased each day and today, I was only able to do dishes and take care of Sean while he was here. We even managed the shower when he came in from Therapy, but after I cooked dinner, that was pretty much the extent of my evening. I just got Sean to bed, but I wanted to ask you for your prayers tonight for me. My sister thinks I could be developing pancreatitis. All I know is the pain is excruciating.

Thank you for logging on and Checking on Sean. I am sorry I have not written anything about him tonight.

Thank you for sharing and Thank you for caring,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, May 2, 2006 9:34 PM CDT

Sean went to the Dallas Museum of Art today with his Day Neuro Group. Each month they go on an outing which is as much a part of their Therapy as the physical work that Sean does each day.

When he got home he spelled to me that he enjoyed the day and he spelled that the lunch he had was �heavenly�. He is so funny sometimes with his word choices.

I went down to Farmers Market and bought a bunch of vegetables and cooked them for dinner this evening. I got a bunch of baby summer squash. White miniature turban squash, little round yellow and round zuchinni types. They were great. When I came home I went for a walk for a couple of miles.

Bob came in this evening and ran a couple of miles before dinner. I am glad we both are trying to increase our activity level. I just wish that I could find a group or some one to walk with during my day. It would be so much more enjoyable.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, May 1, 2006 8:35 PM CDT

Sean text messaged me this morning and said �I just walked 342 feet with the walker in spurts and 171 at once!!!� That is so exciting. That is slightly more than the length of a football field. Although Sean needs help with the walker, it means he is getting stronger. I can feel it every day as he stands up for transfers. He usually comes right up now.

Today was shower day. We do it every other day, unless he gets really sweaty. He went right into his room when he got home from therapy, and then we did the shower routine. I am feeling horrible and wanted to skip it so bad, but I can�t do that. Sean had not slept well Sunday night and was really tired after his big walk today. He decided he needed a nap after his shower.

When I woke him to get him up for dinner, we were laughing because he just couldn�t really straighten up as we were transferring. He was bent over like a �7� with his butt sticking way out. This was the way he used to always transfer, but now he usually will stand straight up. We both decided he was just too tired.

Bob was a little late coming in this evening because he is going to start running again. When he came in he said he has lost it all. It has been more than a year since he has been able to run. It will take sometime for him to get back in shape, but we are both glad he is getting back into it. Sean and I both want him to start running with Dallas Fit in their Marathon Training program again. He has run 5 Marathons and he misses the opportunity of going out. It is time that he started doing things for himself again. He has looked after both Sean and I since Sean�s accident and he deserves the reprieve from our routine.

Tomorrow, the Day Neuro Group is having their monthly outing at the Dallas Museum of Modern Art. Sean is not sure about the art work, but he is looking forward to an outing.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, April 30, 2006 8:37 PM CDT

Sean had his appointment with Dr. Ellis on Friday. The doctor was so pleased with the way Sean�s thumb is healing. He had been really concerned that it might rupture. He told us that it could still happen, although chances were slim now. It will have been 9 weeks from the surgery this week and he explained to us that he would not really consider it healed until 12 weeks. He felt that Sean�s fingers were tightening up again, but felt that was something we just had to continue working with.

We hope that all of you had a really good weekend. Ours was nice, mostly quiet, although we did get out on Sunday. Sean and I stayed home on Saturday and watched 3 different videos. Bob had some things to do and he needed to go to the shop for a while, so Sean and I were here alone with the videos.

Todd called, as he does everyday and said that both Joey and Kori were sick. Joey has a really bad cough and Kori just felt really bad with a sore throat. Neither one of them had a temperature, though, and by today they were both a little better.

Sean, Bob and I met Ben out at White Rock Lake. Sean wanted to get out for a little while, so we stopped and got lunch to take out there. Ben had wanted to ride his bike at the Lake, so he brought it with him. Cheryl and Calem were both taking advantage of a Sunday afternoon nap. Shaya is going to Six Flags next Saturday and is doing the Relay for Life, Friday night. She was with her classmates putting on a car wash raising money for these events, so Ben came out by himself. We sat and visited at a picnic table while Sean ate and then Ben took off on his bike, and Bob, Sean and I went walking.

The weather was beautiful, and it felt good to be outside on a pleasant Sunday afternoon. After the horrid heat that we had the week that Todd and Kori left, it was nice to have a relatively comfortable afternoon.

I had gotten up this morning and smoked a turkey that was finishing up in the oven while we were out for the afternoon. When we got home, I finished making dinner, while Bob and Sean relaxed in front of the television.

Sunday is now almost over, and Sean�s therapy week will start again. I forgot to tell you that when Sean woke up this morning he was so excited because he could lay his left hand out nearly flat. This does not normally happen without a great deal of stretching. I don�t know yet if it is a sign of things to come, but it was good to see his hand look so �normal� this morning.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, April 28, 2006 9:54 PM CDT

It was raining this afternoon when Sean was on his way home so I walked up to the apartment office to meet him. The 2nd story of the apartments comes out over the drive in front of the offices so it is covered there, providing protection from the rain. Once he got off the van, we could walk through the office and the parking garage and get into our home without getting wet.

The weather was the kind of spring days it is nice to have in Texas. The promise of rain all day that finally fell. This evening there are storms all to the West of us, and they are moving are way. There could possibly be some strong storms during the night.

I went to Blockbuster today and got 4 movies for Sean and I to watch this weekend. We have been talking about the genocide in Darfur, so one of our movies is �Hotel Rawanda�. I have seen it, but even though Sean has heard about it today on the Today Show, and I have tried to explain it, I think the movie is a far more powerful example of what is happening there.

I am a news hound and have always been interested in the world around me. Most young people don�t see beyond there own world. Although, there is a segment of youth who recognize the needs of humanity and go out and try to make improvements, there is a larger majority who only live for the moment. I wanted each of my sons to reach out beyond the walls of self, but they have not yet taken the opportunity to do so. Unfortunately for Sean, because I take control during our pre-therapy mornings and again for the nightly news, he is forced into expanding his world. Besides his world is so small right now, that he has to reach with his mind to see more. We enjoy spending time talking about things that we share seeing while watching the news.

Tonight as I got him into bed, I started thinking about what Love means. Wow, I am really being philosophical tonight. I don�t know if I have the answer, but I think it includes the nightly ritual that we have. I have to lay Sean down with his shoes on because he has to have his AFO�s (braces) and his shoes on to standup and transfer into bed. Each night as I remove his shoes and AFO�s and stretch his toes. They tend to contract the way his fingers do. This must be the love for my child that I feel when I do this. The smile that Sean gives me as I cover him up, this too must be love from my son to me. This is why I do what I do each day.

Thank you so much for the messages you have written these last few days. Unfortunately gloom sets in sometimes. But eventually I push it away. Occasionally I just need reminders to keep moving forward. Thank you.

Thank you for sharing and Thank you for caring,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, April 27, 2006 9:18 PM CDT

Sean asked me this morning if we could walk home this afternoon. The weather was beautiful so I decided to use this opportunity to get out and do some walking before I went by BIR and got him for our walk home. I think I walked about 2.5 miles before I went to BIR, so by the time we got home I probably did about 3 miles. I need to get started walking again more regularly. Hopefully today will start me back on that road. I really miss my friends that I used to walk with all of the time. Unfortunately the hours that I have to go, they are all working so I will have to go it alone.

When I did get to BIR, Sean had just finished stretching on his back over the exercise ball again. I just missed it by a few minutes. Sean had played Bingo today and won twice. He picked a 500 piece puzzle as one of his prizes. He told me he would show me the other prize when we got home. When we got here, I looked in his bag and found a book mark that says �for you the moon and stars�. He spelled to me �it was perfect for you�. See why I do this every day?

We have been watching episodes of �The Shield� all week when Sean gets home from Therapy. I don�t know what we will do with ourselves when we finish them.

It is hard to believe another week has passed. Sean has an appointment with Dr. Ellis, his hand surgeon, in the morning.

We hope that all of you enjoy your weekend. I don�t know yet what we will do, but if the weather is good, I will have to think of somewhere to go with Sean so he can get out among people.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, April 26, 2006 7:42 PM CDT

Sometimes I cannot even think of anything new to tell you. Some days just fade from one to another, as the sun rises and then sets. Our days are not so exciting, now. Sean is getting better. When I compare last week to the week before, or yesterday to a year ago, I know that he has improved dramatically. I am afraid our journey now will be at a much slower pace. As Sean, Bob and I struggle down this road to recovery you may begin to forget about us. If you check this website less often, we will understand.

What we do now has become routine. We get up at the same time every day. Sean leaves for therapy at about the same time and comes home about the same time. I have no identity except through my son, much as it was when I raised him the first time. It is easier this time for me. I know that the things I do now are the most important thing that I could ever do. Helping make my son�s life easier, is what I do and what I have become. Sean spelled to me this morning that he could not imagine anyone else caring for him. Honestly, all that I have done in my past has prepared me for what I do for him now.

Please, if you think of it, continue to think of my beautiful boy. Send compassionate thoughts and prayers heavenward. Continue to beseech the Lord for Sean to remember how to form words again. Continue to beg that he remember how to walk again.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this website. It still is my source of energy and strength.

Thank you for caring,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, April 25, 2006 9:45 PM CDT

Sean got a special surprise for doing all of his homework last week. He had to do sit-ups and mouth words and for his efforts, he got to go down the street for lunch today at the Barbecue place on Gaston Avenue. He went with Kathy, his PT, Muffin, the Clinical Research Coordinator, and Jenn, his Speech Therapist. They were treating him because he had worked so hard last night. He spelled to me that the food was scrumptidloodicious. And yes, he spelled it just like that! He also spelled that they laughed all through lunch.

He spelled to me that he tried a shorter walker today, but it must have been made for someone much smaller than him. He said he was at least a foot too tall.

He and I laughed so hard tonight. Sean spelled to me that he wanted me to call the house phone and let him try to answer it. He thought maybe he could �trick� his brain into working. I would call and he would turn it on and hold it up to his ear and try and try, but he could hardly get a sound to come out. He was almost running out of breath each time that we tried it. It just amazes me that he does not let it get him down. He just keeps struggling to do it, and laughs all the while.

This evening he was getting a kick out of getting text messages from Ryan Miller. Ryan is so funny; he had Sean laughing out loud at his messages. I can�t share them with you because they weren�t necessarily meant for polite company. You will just have to take my word for it.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, April 24, 2006 9:33 PM CDT

Sean�s Dad came down to see him this afternoon. Before he got here, I showered Sean so that we would have our stuff done and they could visit. Sean was still on a roll with watching �The Shield�, so the two of them sat here and watched a couple of episodes.

Sean and I did not have a lot of talk time, so I didn�t really get to find out what he did today in therapy until I was getting him into bed for the evening. He spelled to me that he laid on a big exercise ball on his back today with his feet on the floor and his head down on the other side, stretching his back. He said it felt really good. Other than that, he spelled that he just did his �usual stuff�.

I was thinking about our routine since Sean has moved home from Pate. Although things are not easy, we are so much better getting things done together. Sean�s personality has mellowed so much. There used to always be moments when something would happen that would send him into a �beserko rage�. At least that is what I used to call it. I hated it when it would happen, and although it would only last for seconds, I just couldn�t stand the way it made me feel. I used to tell Sean that I felt as if all of the efforts that I had made taking care of him where worthless. He had promised me several weeks ago that he would try to control the rages. I now just marvel at how well he deals with everything. He no longer gets mad at me about things, but he does laugh and tease me if things are always done just right.

I really enjoy the moments getting him up from his chair to transfer to his bed and vice versa. He stands up straight now and will put his arms around me to help balance him while I pull his pants up. And he hugs me really, really tight, so that he doesn�t fall over. I love those moments. Many times during the day he will mouth to me, �I Love You, MoMMa�. These moments make every effort that I have ever made worthwhile.

As Sean spells, �It is bittersweet, that we have become so close�.

Hopefully tomorrow I will learn more about Sean�s therapy day.

Thank you for sharing, and thank you for caring,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, April 23, 2006 9:23 PM CDT

Sean, Bob and I were able to sleep in a little late this morning. It felt so good. I don�t know why but yesterday seemed so busy. I got up and made blueberry pancakes for Sean this morning. Since it was Sunday, there was nothing much on TV so Sean started watching �The Shield�. Todd has left him Seasons 2 and 3, so that was what Sean did most of the day.

I smoked a pork loin out on our little Smoky grill, and Ben, Cheryl, Shaya and Calem came over for Sunday dinner. After dinner, we left Sean here with Bob. He didn�t want to go with us and we went to the bike store. Ben is getting into cycling. He is hoping to start training for a Triathalon. He has been working out and running and is now going to add cycling to the mix.

When we returned, Cheryl highlighted Sean�s hair. It is very subtle highlighting and it looks really good. Bob of course has no use for that kind of stuff and he was trying to get the floor of his office at the shop cleaned up so he went back up to the shop to finish waxing. He told us that he was playing �janitor� this weekend.

Sean and I really enjoy our visits with Ben and his family, and with our two outings yesterday, we had a really nice weekend.

Thank you for caring,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Saturday, April 22, 2006 8:53 PM CDT

Sean, Bob and I got up early this morning so that we could get down to City Hall by 8:30. It was a beautiful day for a walk. Thank you to all who contributed toward Sean�s goal for M.A.D.D. Sean was a great �pace car� for me. He kept me hustling on the 5K walk. Coming back in the home stretch, shoes lined our path to return to City Hall. It was very moving to think that each pair of shoes belonged to someone who had been killed by a drunk driver.

We met the Denison group and the Speech Therapists from Baylor Rehab. It made our little jaunt a lot more enjoyable to walk with people that we knew. It also felt good to me to get out on the road again. It has been so long since I have really burned the miles. Sean really enjoyed the sunlight. He would lean his head back in his chair as we were going along and just let the sun pour onto his face. He did not want to go home afterwards because he was enjoying just being out among people again.

When we got home, Bob went on to work for the afternoon, and Sean and I had our showers, lunch and then went up to Medical City for a visit with his friend Jennie Matthews. It was so good to see her. She looked absolutely wonderful especially considering that she had a lung removed just Thursday afternoon. I had left a message for my brother to let him know that she was there, and she told us that he had stopped in for a visit with her while he was at work, Friday night. He is so kind to always stop in and visit people that we know who are in his hospital.

Sean and I are worn out after our day and two outings in one day. I can�t wait until �bedtime� tonight.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing!
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, April 21, 2006 7:47 PM CDT

I ran up to BIR this morning at 9:30 to watch Sean on the treadmill. The machine they use to suspend him over the treadmill is called a Pneumo-Gait. The harness that supports him is much different than the one on the Light Gait that was used at Pate and actually looks more comfortable.

It was interesting to watch the differences between the way things are done at BIR and the way they did them at Pate. Since Sean needs help moving his right foot, they took this netting that looked very similar to a long sock and slid it over his shoe. There was then a �tail� that was left dangling off of the toe. One of the therapists helped Sean from behind and the other one sat on the floor beside the treadmill. The floor person would just pull Sean�s right foot forward appropriately. It was a much more normal looking gait. Sean does not have the balance yet, so he ends up sticking his left hip way out to the side and then he gets really off balance. The therapist, Kathy, who is behind him has to keep nudging him in the left hip to remind him to straighten up.

As soon as he finished with that, I left and went to the grocery store. Since the weather was beautiful today, I text messaged Sean and asked him if he wanted to walk home. �Of course!� he texted back to me. So I walked to BIR this afternoon and actually got there in time to watch Sean walk with the walker. He starts out so straight and tall, but then as he tires he sticks his bottom way out. Kathy has to nudge him and remind him to tuck it under so that he is once again straight.

The therapists told me that Sean had worked really hard all week. I can tell that he is really tired this evening. We are going to try to go to sleep early this evening. Tomorrow morning we are getting up early and meeting a group from Denison who are walking in the M.A.D.D. 5K walk from Dallas City Hall. Justin McKenzie and Chase Ward are also survivors of a crash involving a drunk driver. They formed a team called �Faith� and Sean will roll his wheelchair with them. Bob and I will accompany Sean and this group on the walk.

One of the ladies from Grayson County Courthouse has been battling cancer for over a year. She and Sean had gotten to be friends when he used to work for Chapin Title Company and had to do research at the Courthouse. Jennie is in Medical City recovering from surgery that wound up involving the removal of one of her lungs. Her cancer is all the way out to the chest wall. She is in need of all of your prayers. All during Sean�s recovery she has had her own health battles to fight, but she never stopped checking in on Sean and writing to theloveofsean@aol.com .

The weather is supposed to be beautiful this weekend. We hope that all of you have a wonderful weekend.

Thank you for caring and thank you for sharing!
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, April 20, 2006 9:26 PM CDT

I forgot to tell you that yesterday before Todd got ready to go, he recorded all of Sean�s phrases on the Roll Talk. Where Sean pushed a button and a �Norwegian� electronic voice might say� �I need some help here�. Now he has Todd�s voice. We have this ritual when Sean gets on the van, as I close the door, he has a button that says �Bye, I Love You!�. Now it is Todd�s voice saying �Bye, I Love You.� Both of my twins tell me that each time that Sean pushes the button. It is so sweet to me.

Todd was also able to catch Joey�s voice saying �Hi, Sean!� He says it so clearly, and Sean loves to push it and listen to Joey. Joey was always so cute. He would watch me care for Sean with his huge blue eyes. I don�t think he ever figured out why Sean was so quiet. The last full day they were here, though, he was so funny. He got Sean�s alphabet board and started pointing at the letters and he would say �Sean. Sean.� He also walked into Sean�s room as he lay in the bed and he stuck his little index finger out the way Sean always does and they touched their E.T. fingers together. What a smile Sean had on his face from that one.

Sean came in from therapy today and after a fruit snack, we went in and the two of us did the shower thing. We are really getting good at it and every time we do it, it gets a little bit easier. We figure out a new way to do something.

Todd, Kori and Joey are all safely back home in Prosser, Wa. now. Although we will miss them, we listen to Todd�s voice on Sean�s Roll Talk and it brings us closer. We are still working on the appeal process for the device and hopefully something positive will come of it. I saw on the news tonight that the CEO of United Healthcare received a salary in excess of 1 million dollars last year! He may hear a piece of my mind before this is all over! Thank you for your offers to write for us. I will let you know as our appeal progresses and will let you know if it looks as though Dr. Thomas pitch does not work.

Thank you for caring, and thank you for sharing,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, April 19, 2006 8:01 PM CDT

Today has been a really hard day for Sean and me. I think it was just as hard on Todd, but he had his trip to distract him from the pain of separation from his twin. I know Ben is missing him as well.

We stopped by BIR just as Sean was starting to lunch, so that Todd, Kori and Joey could share a last good-bye with Sean. When we left, I realized that I had forgotten my keys in Sean�s class room, so I ran back to get them. He gave me a big bear hug and I felt as though I had been punched in the stomach when I left him. He looked so lonesome. He had wanted to go with us, but there would not have been room for his wheelchair with all of the bags that Todd and Kori had, plus the stroller and car seat, so he had to stay at Day Neuro.

This evening he has had several text messages from Todd while he is waiting in the airport in Salt Lake City. He said that Montel Williams was sitting next to them in the airport restaurant.

Sean had homework this evening. He was supposed to do 20 sit-ups, but he ended up doing 45. He was on a Roll!

Thank you for caring,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, April 18, 2006 9:45 PM CDT

Today was Todd, Kori and Joey�s last full day here. We all met at BIR for lunch with Sean. Tuesday is the day that Day Neuro goes �across the street� to Big Baylor to eat lunch, so we walked over there got our food and ate together. Sean and Joey were entertaining each other. Sean was being a bad influence on his nephew when he kept sticking his tongue out at him and Joey started doing it back to his Uncle.

Sean and I had to go back to meet with Dr. Thomas to have Sean�s Baclofen Pump refilled. While Dr. Thomas was working on Sean, I attempted to get through to United Healthcare to the physician reviewer so that Dr. Thomas could talk to him/her. What a fiasco! I finally got through to a live person, but when she heard that I was Sean�s MoM, she almost hung up on me. I kept telling her that I was, but Dr. Thomas was right beside me and he wanted to speak to someone. He got on the phone and was extremely frustrated as well and sternly told her, �Do not hang up on me!�

The care coordinator told him that she would arrange a peer to peer phone consultation but even if the physician agreed with him it did not mean that the Roll Talk would be approved. That would be up to company policy. Jackie Webb, I think you are right. It is time to pull out the big guns and write to our Congressman and see if he can help us.

Todd, Kori and Joey returned to the apartment shortly after I got there. Kori wanted to run back up to Farmer�s Market, so Joey and I stayed and waited for Sean to get home. I had put a roast in the oven earlier in the day. Ben, Cheryl and Calem were coming over for dinner and to spend the last evening with Todd and Kori before they left.

Bob got off work and everyone else arrived by 7 and we all sat down to eat. Joey and Calem were so cute playing together this evening. Everyone had such a good time. Sean especially enjoyed watching the baby boys play together.

Ben and Cheryl have taken Calem home to get him into bed. Shaya had stayed home to study for the TACS test that she will be taking soon. Bob and Todd have run up to Bob�s shop to weigh all of his and Kori�s luggage. If they go over weight, I will mail the excess to them on Thursday. We are going to run by BIR in the morning and Todd and Sean will say their goodbyes to each other in public. They both feel that it will be easier that way.

It is hard to believe that Todd�s visit is over. Now it is time for Sean to get even more serious about his PT so that he can get well enough to travel up to Washington someday. It will be our turn to visit them next. Hopefully it will be in the not to distant future.

Thank you for caring,
Sean, Todd and Ben�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, April 17, 2006 8:16 PM CDT

Another Monday has come and is almost gone. Todd has been here for the past 6 Mondays. It is going to be gut wrenching for Sean to see him go. I think it will be equally hard for Todd, and I cannot even begin to tell you how I will feel. Big Brother, Ben, will miss him as well, but the twins have that unbreakable bond that will ache greater than we can imagine. The opportunity to have so much time together will probably never present itself again. Todd and his family will be so very, very, far away.

Todd was offered a job at The Hanford Nuclear Power Plant. The official offer letter was prepared and mailed last week. They contacted him Friday to extend a verbal offer to him. The pay will be good, and he feels that it is going to be a good opportunity. We are really happy for him, and proud of him. It is good to know that he has a job awaiting him.

Todd and Kori had a few errands to do today, so Joey and I spent the afternoon together until Sean arrived home from Day Neuro. Joey is such a sweet little boy. I know that Prosser, Washington will be a good place for him to grow up and will probably be safer than Dallas, Texas. It is such a shame that Kori and Todd were born geographically so far apart. This must all be part of God�s plan. Who would have ever thought a young girl from Prosser, would ever meet a young guy from North Texas and fall in love in Kuwait?

Sean spelled to Todd and I that he had not been able to do a full faced smile all day, but we started teasing him and his face broke into that same beautiful smile that he always has. And it was even on both sides of his face. We told him that he must be worrying needlessly because it looked even to us.

We hope that all of you had a wonderful Easter weekend.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, April 16, 2006 9:23 PM CDT

We hope that your Easter Weekend was as wonderful as ours. Sean and I got up Saturday morning and after once again accomplishing his showering on our own, we got ready and drove on up to Sherman. We checked in at the Hampton Inn, Sherman and had a really nice room that was handicap accessible so Sean and his wheelchair and transfer chair fit perfectly. We drove over to Catfish Kitchen, and got catfish to go, and then we went back to our room and ate. I was able to squeeze in a short afternoon nap while Sean played Spider Solitaire on his Roll Talk.

Later in the afternoon, Ben, Cheryl, Shaya and Calem came up. I had two complimentary rooms, so they stayed in the other one. We all went to eat at La Mesa, where we met up with Brian Wible. After a good meal, Brian left to meet some friends and we went back to our motel. We went down to the pool to watch Calem and Shaya swim and once they were tired we all trooped upstairs and Sean and I went to bed.

Sunday morning we got up and got ready for church. We had breakfast with Cheryl, Shaya and Calem, and then Ben helped me load Sean up in the truck. He then followed me over to Trinity Lutheran and helped me get Sean and his chair out of the truck. Ron met us outside while Lois was inside the sanctuary figuring out the best place for us to sit. Pastor Craig had a wonderful service. It was a glorious morning for us. I could see as I held the hymnal in front of Sean that he was attempting to mouth the words of the songs. He has not really made efforts to do this since his accident.

Several times throughout the day, he would look at me and it was obvious that he was mouthing �I love you.� We have been practicing this for the last few weeks, but it was just today that it finally really looks like I LOVE YOU! Miracles surround us. Although Sean has not got the breath to actually speak the words, his muscles of his mouth look as though they are beginning to respond again to his brain and the words are beginning to form!

After church, Ben and Cheryl met us in the parking lot and we loaded up to follow Sharon and Tony out to Ron and Lois� house in Whitesboro. Todd, Kori and Joey arrived there shortly after we did. Justin, Jessica and Haylee Boren were already there. Jessica had been getting the dinner ready, while we were in church. We had a wonderful meal and then we all sat around out on the patio enjoying each others company. The three little ones had fun hunting for Easter Eggs hidden in plain sight. It was a hot sultry afternoon, but it was nice being able to sit outside before mosquito season begins.

We loaded up around 5, and headed south to Dallas. Bob was home when we arrived and he helped me get Sean and all of our stuff back in our home. Sharon had given me a beautiful Easter Lily and I can smell the fragrance as I sit here typing this note. Sean is now and bed and we are all right behind him.

It felt good today to finally all be together as family again.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Jenny Carter

Friday, April 14, 2006 8:18 PM CDT

Sean and I have been watching TV this evening. Sean likes to watch �That 70�s Show� and I wanted to watch �Extreme Home Makeover After the Storm�. Sean was in the living room, and I was in his bedroom, folding clothes, watching my show. I don�t know what it is about it, but I watch all these stories and the devastation that these people have lived through, and I can�t but help compare their situations to Sean�s.

I am never sorry for what this has done to me, but I am heart broken over all that Sean has lost. The people on Extreme Home Makeover are all receiving help rebuilding their homes, their lives. Sean really has no one except himself to do the job that he is trying to do. Yes, he does have his therapists. He does have the prayers of hundreds of people. But he cannot take a 7 day vacation to Disney World, or New York City while others rebuild the devastation. He lives in the ruins of the house of his body, and he attempts to rebuild a castle with no materials or labor but the uncooperative muscles and nerves of his own.

And all the while that Sean is rebuilding, he is normally smiling. Most of the time he refuses to give in to the horrible depression that occasionally washes over him.

Tomorrow we will be heading up to Sherman. Brian Wible just called. He is on his way home to Sherman from Wichita Falls for the weekend. He will be taking a cop test for the Denison PD tomorrow. We are planning to meet up with him in Sherman sometime tomorrow evening and maybe going to dinner together. It will be good for Sean to get out for a little while with a friend.

Thank you for caring, and thank you for sharing,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, April 13, 2006 10:07 PM CDT

This evening while Sean was lying in his bed he spelled, �Everyone tells me I am so strong. Well, I am tired of being strong.� I told Sean, �You can have 24 hours and then you have to get over it, because that is what we do. We get over it and we keep on trucking and doing the things that we need to do.� He smiled when I said that, and I know that he understands what I mean.

I got a call from Damon Morris� wife, Michelle this afternoon. She was in the ICU at Baylor sitting with her sister, Bobbie Joe Hood. Michelle was alone and had received some extremely unsettling news about her sister. The doctors had made Grand Rounds and afterwards, they called Michelle in and told her that they needed to have a family conference. They could not give her any prognosis, but they told her that they needed to start thinking about long term care. Bobbie Joe is only 18 years old. She was involved in a car accident one rainy Saturday afternoon just east of Sherman. I think it will be 4 weeks ago this Saturday. Michelle is not much older than her sister but she told me that she has taken care of her for the past four years. She said that she wants to take care of her at home, but the doctors are telling her that she won�t be able to do that.

As I looked at Bobbie lying in that ICU bed, breathing through a trach, it took me back to a year ago when I watched over Sean as he lay sleeping. I know that all of your prayers and his own will and determination brought him this far. Please add Bobbie Joe and Michelle to your prayers as you read this. My heart is with them.

When I left the ICU, I ran over to BIR to see Sean. It was the last few minutes of his lunch hour. He was spelling to his PT student therapist. He smiles so big when I walk in to visit. I just stayed long enough to get a hug from him and then I came home.

After Sean got home this afternoon he told me that he had been talking to Dr. Frohl. He said that Dr. Frohl told him that he needed to start initiating conversation with people. Sean spelled to him that people don�t wait around long enough for him to spell to them so it is hard to start a conversation. But when he got home, he told me some phrases that he wanted to have programmed in to his Roll Talk so that he could just touch a button. We created buttons for �Hi, how are you doing?� �How was your evening?� �How was your weekend?� �It was nice to meet you?� These will allow him to engage people in conversation.

Bob will be leaving early tomorrow morning to go turkey hunting again for the weekend. Sean and I are planning an overnight trip up to Whitesboro for Easter weekend. I might miss making an entry on Saturday night, but will update you on Sunday evening.

We hope you have a wonderful Easter Weekend.

Thank you for caring, and thank you for sharing,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, April 12, 2006 8:56 PM CDT

Bob brought the mail in this evening and there was an Easter card from Anita Bratton, one of the members of Janice�s mom�s Sunday School Class. It made me think again of how truly kind even strangers have been through Sean�s recovery. It also once again drove home how neglectful others have been. Sean even has some family members who do no more than read this website. But that is not what you want to hear about, so let me tell you about Sean�s day.

Together we composed a letter to the insurance company appeals department requesting that they reconsider Sean�s Roll Talk device. I typed it for Sean this morning and took it up to BIR so that he could sign it. When I arrived he was sitting up on the second floor balcony enjoying the beautiful Texas Spring Morning and having speech therapy. Sean�s letter is truly moving, and I am hoping that the people who read it have hearts that can be moved.

I went out shopping for a new shirt for Sean to wear to shirt on Easter Sunday. We are meeting Ron and Lois Richardson and Sharon and Tony Roberts at Trinity Lutheran Church in Sherman for Easter services. Afterwards we will go to Lois and Ron�s for the afternoon, and Todd and Ben and their families will meet us there. We are looking forward to all being together again. Bob and I were supposed to go to Lois and Ron�s last Easter Sunday, the day that Sean actually had his accident. We had wanted to go up at Christmas but just were not prepared at that time for the trip. Now we are looking forward to it. Sean said that he feels like he is going home to his family when he goes there.

Sean played a mean joke on me today. He sent a text message at 3:15 and said that he had not seen his driver, so he was just coming home. Of course, I panicked! I know that he knows the way but the streets are becoming busy at that time of the afternoon. We volleyed messages back and forth several times and I finally called Kathy, his PT. She went running down the stairs looking for him and caught him just as he was getting into the van. She called and told me not to be surprised about the bruise on the back of his head where she �bopped him� for scaring us to death.

He arrived home about 3:45, laughing at me for the joke that he had pulled. I laughingly threatened him and reminded him that just because he was 23 years old, he was not to big to put over my knee for a good whooping!

As soon as he got in, he and I did the shower routine, just the two of us. By the time I got him back in his transfer chair after the shower we both were so excited! Each time we do this it gets just a little bit easier. It is still tough, but nothing like it was even two months ago. I can still remember the first time we showered it at home it took Ben, Bob and I, to get Sean in the shower and hold him upright.

Everyday brings us progress, even if sometimes it is just at the pace of a snail. Sean is healing and for that we give thanks!

Thank you for sharing and Thank you for caring,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, April 11, 2006 9:28 PM CDT

Oh my gosh! Ben, Cheryl, Shaya and Calem just left. Tonight felt like bedlam. I don�t know how two little boys can have so much energy. Cheryl was coloring Kori�s hair and the two little ones were wound up. Sean had me take him to his room because he spelled �the noise is beginning to give me a headache�. Actually, they were both so sweet but they were both sooo loud!

Sean, Bob and I are just old fuddy-duddies I guess. Sean is so quiet, since he can�t talk, and Bob is so quite that he often doesn�t talk, so our normal evenings the only thing that breaks the silence is the television. It was good though, because it was a home full of �happy� noise.

Sean spelled to me that he walked on the treadmill 2 different times for two and a half minutes each time. He said that he was in some kind of harness, I think a light gait, suspended over the treadmill. I will have to run up and see him for myself.

Joey and I spent the day together while Kori and Todd ran down to the antique and furniture stores in Forney. I�m hoping the two of them enjoyed their day because Joey and I really did. We didn�t do anything except take a short tour of Target and then we just hung out at the apartment together. I had a �bonding day� with my little grandson.

I really enjoy the times that my sons are all here with their families. I know that Sean hopes that someday, he too will have a �family of his own�. I pray for that as well.

Thank you for caring and thank you for sharing,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, April 10, 2006 9:02 PM CDT

Todd got up early this morning and helped me take Sean to a new orthotist today who fitted Sean for a new pair of braces. These will have a double hinge that will allow Sean to start taking steps more normally. They will allow his ankle to bend naturally as he steps, but will prevent his ankle from just collapsing. This will allow his calf muscles to strengthen and hopefully improve his ability to begin to walk more easily.

After Todd and I dropped Sean off at Therapy, we ran by the apartment and picked up Kori and Joey. We went to the Dallas World Aquarium and spent the afternoon exploring the wildlife and fish exhibits. I was really surprised that in all of the years I have lived in Dallas I had never really heard how wonderful this place was. Any of you reading this who have children or grandchildren, should take the opportunity to go. All of the exhibits are designed so that you can get really close to all of the creatures. In fact, watch out, or you might have some bird poo drop on you! We saw this happen to one of the patrons walking through.

Sean decided he wanted Chinese food for dinner, and for the first time he decided that he wanted to ride along when I picked it up. It was so nice, because we just got Sean into the truck and then Todd took the wheelchair in and brought it back when we returned.

Joey was so cute tonight. He has really bonded with Bob. He walks around, once Bob gets home and hollers �Bob, Bob!� They sit together and Joey shares Bob�s glass of tea with him.

My entries are shorter while the kids are here, but I want to make sure that I continue to update you daily,

Thank you for Caring and Thank you for Sharing,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, April 9, 2006 10:01 PM CDT

Sunday evening:

This will be a short posting tonight. We had such a wonderful day today. Everyone got up early and we drove down to Lake Whitney to Cousin Gary Morgan�s house. It is beautiful, perched on the edge of a rock cliff overlooking a cove and then out onto the Lake.

We had a really good meal prepared by Gary and his sister Vicky. We all took turns hiking around and chasing Calem and Joey so they would not wind up in the huge cactus that grows all around his place. Gary says there are deer and turkey that feed on his property, but with the noise of our little ones, there was not a chance an animal would show itself while we were there. As you can see from the smiles on everyone�s faces, we all enjoyed ourselves.

Sean tolerated the trip well. He spelled to us that it was like driving up to Sherman, so it was okay with him. We got home close to 6:30 and everyone is pleasantly tired now.

Thank you for sharing and Thank you for caring,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Saturday, April 8, 2006 6:44 PM CDT

Sean slept in an extra hour and a half this morning. When he woke up he looked at the clock, and spelled to me �I really need that extra sleep.� Todd and Joey were getting up about the time that we got up, so I made the guys giant breakfast burritos. After Kori got up, we all decided to go to the Auto Show.

Ben and Calem met us and we loaded up for the trip downtown to the Convention Center. Since we live right downtown, it was an easy trip. Arriving there, Ben, Sean and Calem decided they were off roading up this steep grassy hill. Of course, I was hollering at Sean telling him that if he went up the hill, I would not accompany him to the hospital when he flipped his wheelchair. Big Brother Ben rescued him by going up right behind him and then running back down to get Calem in his stroller.

Everyone enjoyed wandering around looking at all of the cars. I was just amazed at the oblivion that people walk around in. They walk in front of Sean, never even looking at him and obviously expecting him to move out of the way. I swear I am going to get a snow plow blade and mount it on the front of his wheelchair and just let him run people down. I finally told him that I didn�t care who he ran into unless it was a little kid. Children (small ones) were off limits. The rest of the people could just suffer the consequences if they were not going to give him any berth to get by!

When we were unloading at the Convention Center, we ran into an old co-worker friend of mine from my Texoma Medical Center days. Mike Sutton and a friend of his were on their way into the show. It was good to stop and visit for just a moment and it humbled me to have Mike tell me that he keeps up with us on this site. The boys all remember Mike from the Memorial Day weekends that we all used to work together catering for Reba McIntire at her TMC Benefit performances. Those were fun times full of great memories.

When we got back home, Todd, Kori and Joey packed up to head up to Ben and Cheryl�s. They are going to take the kids to the Studio-Movie Grill to see Ice Age 2. They will spend the night in Addison with Ben and Cheryl, and then all of them will accompany us down at Cousin Gary Morgan�s home on Lake Whitney on Sunday. We are all looking forward to visiting with him at his home. He has shown us pictures of it, and we have heard how beautiful it is down there.

We hope that all of you are enjoying this beautiful weekend,

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing!
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, April 7, 2006 9:41 PM CDT

Sean had an appointment with his hand surgeon, Dr. Ellis, today. Dr. Ellis is very pleased with the way Sean�s hand is healing particularly his thumb. He said that the most that he had hoped for was Sean to have some extension of that thumb, but he was pleased to see that Sean is actually able to control its movement.

Dr. Ellis explained to us, however, that it will take from 12-14 weeks for the tendon in that thumb to fully heal and until it does it is still susceptible to it rupturing. Therefore, he does not want Sean to do any stretching with it, or attempting to use it very much.

He also told us that he would be happy to help with our �Roll Talk� cause if it would help. I am going to compose a letter of appeal myself this weekend and fax it to United Healthcare on Monday. Hopefully by that time, Dr. Thomas will have had an opportunity to talk to them.

Todd, Kori, Joey and I wandered through the Farmers Market today. Kori enjoyed looking at all of the �stuff� in the bazaar. We had a good lunch at the Mexican Restaurant at the Market, then got home to be here when Sean arrived.

Damon Morris, and his little son, Gage, came by for a little while this afternoon. Gage is just a few months older than Joey. The two of them had a good time eating goldfish and playing together.

Kori cooked dinner tonight. She likes to watch the Cooking Channels and she has a favorite that Todd really enjoys. It�s one, that now Sean really likes as well.

We were all so excited tonight. I was getting Sean out of his chair and transferring him into his bed. I barely had my hands on his gait belt, and he stood right up without leaning on me at all! We were both so excited. He wanted everyone in the bedroom to watch him and he stood up from sitting on the edge of the bed, three different times. This is another one of those �firsts�! He still needs just the barest tug on his belt to get him started, and you have to keep that steady hand on his belt once he does get upright, but it is just the lightest touch. It is so much like the first stuttering times that a baby rises up and places his hands on the top of his crib rail.

We are looking forward to a great weekend, and hope you are as well.

Thank you for caring and thank you for sharing,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, April 6, 2006 7:21 PM CDT

Todd, Kori and Joey are back again for the weekend. Sean and I were really happy to see them. I think Bob enjoys having them all around again too. Danny and Janice took them to the Ranger/Red Sox game and Todd had been on a cup collecting tour and came in with 34 Rangers cups!

Joey is such a sweetie. Todd and Kori had to run an errand this afternoon and Sean and I �babysat� together. He was so good. He just wanders around gabbing to himself and playing. He has two blankets, one was Todd�s that I had made him as a baby. Joey calls them his �T-T�s�. He would just lay on the floor and cuddle his blankets.

Sunday we will all be together with Ben, Cheryl, Calem and Shaya and it will be really fun to have the two little boys together. I think Shaya has a good time when she is with all of us, but I know that it is sometimes tough when you are a young teenager.

Dr. Thomas called United Healthcare today, and was told that Sean no longer has coverage. He did not know that he needed to tell them that Sean is covered under an extension of benefits. I don�t know that he had any other time today to try to call back because it took him more than 10 minutes just to get through all of the prompts and to no avail.

Unfortunately, United Healthcare does not have any e-mail addresses that you can send anything too, or I am sure our Army of Angels voices would be heard. Perhaps the right man is hearing them now anyway. Sean and I are hoping so, because we know that our �Army of Angels� is praying for us.

Ben wrote a lengthy e-mail to all of the TV stations in the DFW area hoping to drum up interest in the battle that Sean and I wage against Sean�s Insurance company. Perhaps someone will take interest.

I am listening to Extreme Home Makeover �After the Storm� edition. They are talking about how these people have lost everything. The lost their homes, their possessions, everything. I think about my son watching this. He has lost the �home� that was and is his body. He is working hard to rebuild it, brick by brick, muscle by muscle and nerve cell by nerve cell. Just as the people of Katrina are rebuilding, Sean is struggling to rebuild. Thank you for being his support through all of this.

Thank you for caring and thank you for sharing,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, April 5, 2006 8:25 PM CDT

Wednesday evening:

Sean came in today and read his website and called me to the computer only to tell me that I said he did push-ups. He didn�t, he did sit-ups! What was I thinking? I stand corrected, my beautiful boy does sit-ups!

We had some extremely disappointing news today. Sean�s Roll Talk was denied by the Medical Director of United Healthcare. The exact wording in the letter says that �The requested RollTalk Communication device does not serve a medical purpose. It is of use to a person in the absence of a disease or disability.�!

It is obvious that this gentleman (I will use the term loosely here because that is not what I am thinking right now!) has obviously never read any of the documentation about my son. Sean cannot walk, nor can he talk. He still can freely only use his left arm, although he is regaining movement in his right arm. His left leg moves freely, but he still struggles with his right leg. He clutches a rolled up wash cloth in his right hand to keep his fingers from digging into the palm in his right hand. Everytime it falls out, he has to flag someone down to insert it back between his fingers. Yes, Dr. Kantor, my son is not disabled!

He has often spelled to me that he would just �die� if his RollTalk was not approved. Well, I am here to tell you I will not allow my son to DIE! If we have to we will purchase the device. I cannot leave Sean without a voice.

I am going to talk to Dr. Thomas office staff tomorrow and ask them to ask Dr. Thomas, Sean�s physical medicine doc, to call the physician reviewers and have him explain the degree of Sean�s disabilities. Hopefully this will help our cause.

I am sorry if I cannot write more about Sean�s day today. I am heart sick for my son right now. But we will not give up!

Thank you for sharing and Thank you for caring!
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, April 4, 2006 8:24 PM CDT

Wow! This was another red letter day for Sean and I. No one was home, and we were able to do the whole shower totally alone. We were both so excited when I sat Sean back in his transfer chair outside of the tub. We did the whole thing on Sunday, but Ben was here to make sure I got Sean out. Today, it was just Sean and me! The totally hardest part is getting his sock, AFO and shoe on his left foot which is on the far side of the tub.

I have always felt that this would be our biggest challenge having Sean here at home. I have always had to wait until Bob came in from work. By the time he cleaned up and had dinner, it was often close to 8. Sean�s best time to bend his legs is around 4 p.m. By 8 o�clock he was frequently so stiff that I would feel as though I was going to break my own back forcing his right leg to bend.

I ran up to BIR right after lunch today to give Sean a swimmer�s nose clip to use for his breathing exercises. There�s a picture in the photos of Sean with his Speech Therapist, Jenn, and Sean is wearing his clip. I followed them down to the pool for a few minutes and watched him in the pool. His PT, Kathy, told me that he is making big gains this week. She also told me that he did 65 pushups on Monday, not 60 as Sean had told me.

His therapist, Kathy, also told me that he has made numerous gains this week. When I watched him in the pool today he was able to have his leg bent at the knee so that his heel was not too far from his hamstrings. This is new. The most he has been able to bend recently has been to 90 degrees, anything greater than that and it was too painful.

Sean�s occupational therapist said that after the pool, she is able to lay his shirt on his lap and he can work his right hand into the sleeve and then work his left hand in and with just a little help from her he can pull his shirt over his head! I had no idea that he could do this. She said it is a real effort and takes him up to 10 minutes, but, my goodness, it is such a huge improvement!

My beautiful boy continues to make progress everyday. I am filled with such gratitude for the smiles that he shares with me each day. He spelled to me yesterday, �It is bittersweet, MoM, but you are my bestest friend.� I know that my son is my hero, and his continued optimism and good humor is a cloak that surrounds him and covers all who are around him.

Thank you for caring and thank you for sharing,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, April 3, 2006 8:55 PM CDT

Sean woke up at 4 a.m. and of course had to wake me up as well. He wanted to talk. He told me that he was trying to do what the Reverend Marvin Brock had told him to do. He was trying to visualize himself talking. But he �spelled� to me, �I don�t remember what my voice sounds like.� He then spelled to me that he wanted Todd to come down and record all of his phrases on his roll talk, so that when it talked for him, it would be the closest thing to his own voice.

I think I finally fell back to sleep a few minutes before the alarm went off, but Sean spelled to me that he had remained awake the entire time trying to remember the sound of his voice. He also spelled to me that he feels as though a lot of it has to do with his breath control. Since he cannot make himself breathe out forcibly, he feels this is his main obstacle. I had to remind him that he also needed to remember how to form words with his mouth and lips because he still cannot really do that.

This is all so odd, because while Sean lay in coma, I never imagined all of the deficits he would have. We have both learned so much about the mind and the power of the brain throughout this recovery process. I feel confident though, that Sean will conquer all of the obstacles in his path.

He sent me a text message to day that said. �I did 60 sit-ups today. Up from the 33 I had done last week.� He sent that message out to a lot of people. He was so excited. He spelled to me when he got home, �I know now that I am going to walk. Now I am beginning to worry about my ability to talk.�

Sean has also decided that he has to be on a diet now. He sees his body beginning to get flabby, although he is still not back to his pre-accident weight, but he spells to me, that until he can really work out, he wants to be on a strict diet. So, we are cutting out all of the sweets and eating a Sonoma/Mediterranean/Mayo Clinic kind of diet. All three of these are based upon healthy eating, mainly vegetables, meats, fish and whole grains. The big no is processed foods, and processed flour.

Todd, Kori and Joey will stay up at Danny�s until Thursday and then will come back to spend the weekend with us. Sean and I are really looking forward to their being back down here. We hope they are enjoying their time with Danny and Janice, but we selfishly, still want them with us.

Thank you so much for continuing to follow our day to day story. It amazes me that there are now well over 84,000 hits on this site.

Thank you for sharing and thank you for caring,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, April 2, 2006 9:11 PM CDT

Sunday dawned early and beautiful for us. I hope all of you remembered to change your clocks forward Saturday night. Sean and I awoke early and went ahead and got up so that he would be ready for bed this evening at his usual time. We had a really nice Sunday together.

Ben, Cheryl, Shaya and Calem came over about noon. I had managed to get Sean into the shower by myself. This was a red letter day for us because it is extremely difficult, but we did it! Now it will just take a lot of practice so that I don�t scare myself each time I attempt it. At least Ben arrived in time to watch as I got Sean out of the tub. I was a little worried about what would happen on the transfer out so it was reassuring to have Ben there in case Sean and I got into trouble.

We all loaded up and went to Farmer�s Market for lunch. One of Sean�s friends from BIR met us there. It was fairly crowded, but we managed to get a table outside in the plaza and then we got these wonderful tacos from the Kiosk. We laughed as we watched Calem running after the Budies (pigeons)! They are so tame and as scavengers and will not fly away until the last moment, hoping they will get a hand out. Calem was so funny, running after them.

It actually got really hot in the sun so we did not stay down there too awful long, plus Cheryl was going to cut Sean�s hair so we had to get home. He got his haircut pretty short, I will have to take a picture on Monday and post it so that you can all see it. We were so happy because even though Ben and Cheryl had things to do they generously shared their time with us.

Bob got in from his hunting trip shortly after they left. He said that he enjoyed himself, and although they did see turkeys, no one actually shot one. He has just a little bit of a sunburn. He had a great weekend for camping out with his buddies.

Sean is now in bed watching television. I will go to bed soon myself. It will take me a few days to get used to the time change. Morning seems so early now!

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Saturday, April 1, 2006 7:51 PM CST

None of our plans came through today. Sean and I just ended up spending the day alone together at the apartment. It sprinkled off and on this morning. Sean decided that it would be too big of a production to try to get him and his wheelchair up into Shane's trailer house, so we didn't get to go to Sadler and I didn't get to spend sometime with my friends. He and I had a good day here at home today, however.

Sean is always so funny and he loves to tease me and call me his goofy Momma! We did go outside this afternoon and sat out in our courtyard. Sean was supposed to meet a friend down at the dog park this afternoon, but that fell through for him. Luckily I had gotten DVD's to watch, so this evening he is watching King Kong.

Todd, Kori and Joey are up at Danny's for a few days. Kori enjoys her visits up there and I know that Danny and Janice really enjoy the opportunity to spend time with little Joey. I am afraid that Sean and I are just not as exciting!

Well, there isn't much else to say for this day,

Thank you for checking in on Sean, and thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, March 31, 2006 8:48 PM CST

It's Friday evening. Sean and I watched a couple of DVD's this evening and I have just gotten him in his bed. He came home smiling again today. I was kind of excited too.

I had forgotten to put his hand splint in his bag this morning when he left for Therapy so I ran it up to BIR around 10. Sean was sitting, resting in a chair after walking in the support walker. He was using his letter board and talking to two of his therapists. Kathy, his PT told me that she thinks Sean will go straight from this walker to a regular walker and then he will just start walking. She said she just feels as though he will be one of those who skips the use of the cane completely! This is such a miracle too me, everytime a therapist volunteers that they believe that Sean will one day walk on his own again. I never doubt that he will, but it is just so much more reassuring when the "experts" validate my beliefs.

Todd, Kori and Joey ran by to see Sean for a few minutes before they headed up to Denison. Sean was in the pool at that time so Kori and Nephew Joey got to see Sean walking!

Bob left for his deer lease this morning for opening weekend of Turkey season. This leaves Sean and I alone, but we never have a problem with the time. We are planning on driving up to S&S High School Saturday morning. Sean is supposed to go to a bachelor tool party and I am hoping to be able to slip over to Lois Richardson's for a visit with her and my friend, her daughter Sharon Roberts.

Ben and his family are supposed to come over Sunday. Cheryl is going to cut Sean's hair and Ben will help me get Sean in and out of the shower.

Don't forget this is the "Spring forward" out of Daylight Savings Time Saturday night.

We hope all of you have a wonderful weekend!

Thank you for sharing and Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, March 30, 2006 9:35 PM CST

Sean is really enjoying having little Joey here. He gets such a kick out of watching Joey run around. Joey, on the other hand, is not quite sure of what to think of Uncle Sean. I can tell that he can not quite figure out why Sean never speaks to him and he really doesn't know what to make of me feeding Sean when he needs help. But Sean keeps smiling and waving at him and hoping that he will one day come to him and let him give his nephew a hug.

Sean was having one of his down days today. He texted me and told me that 2 more people were graduating from the Day Neuro Program, making a total of four this week. It is hard for him to make friends and then see them move on. He wrote a message to his speech therapist tonight and said "I am 23 years old and I am such a burden to my MoM. I have to live at home." I sat with him for a while and read several of my entries in our journal. And I told him, "Sean, I never once saw that I mentioned anything about your being a burden to me". It is normal for him to have good days and bad days, and I have to tell you that most of his days are really good days. In fact, when he rolled off of the bus this afternoon, he had his usual huge grin on his face.

Todd, Kori, Joey and I wandered around The Galleria today while Sean was at Day Neuro. We were thinking all day long that it was going to rain and I didn't want to have everyone out in it, so we thought a mall was our best bet. We got home right before Sean's bus returned him home.

Bob had worked late this evening come home to eat and then he went back to the shop to pack the truck for his trip down to his big "Turkey Hunt" weekend. He will leave in the wee hours of Friday morning and return late Sunday evening.

Todd, Kori and Joey are going up to Denison Friday for the weekend. Ben will come over on Saturday morning and help me shower Sean and then I will take him up to there old highschool in Sadler where he will meet up with Todd and there Band of Brothers. Shane Benson will be getting married April 15, and the guys are all getting together Saturday to give him a "Tool" shower and then a bachelor party.

We hope all of you have a wonderful Friday and weekend,

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, March 29, 2006 7:59 PM CST

Well, I have reloaded everything onto this computer and the only problem that I have is that my internet pages sometimes expire before I complete what I am doing. I just finished with my journal entry, the page expired before I could save it. This will be really short and I will do better tomorrow.

Joey and Kori arrived about noon. Kori said that Joey slept most of the way. He has been the sweetest little boy all day, but is tired now and it is showing. He has beautiful golden curls and the biggest blue eyes. I will take pictures tomorrow to share with you.

Sean is pretty wiped out this evening. He has been doing aqua therapy every afternoon and the warmth of the pool and the exertion of learning to walk again is really tiring him out each afternoon. He has pool therapy every day this week.

Thank you all for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, March 28, 2006 8:57 PM CST

Yes, Brenda, it is Survivor Day + 1. Sean did 33 sit-ups today! Yesterday he could only do 2, but he certainly made up for it today.

I had so many plans of getting things straightened up and "Joey" proofed. Kori and Joey arrive on an 11:50 Delta flight on Wednesday. Oh well, I will have to see what I can get done in the morning. Todd was embarrased to ask me, but he wanted to go to the airport by himself. It has been nearly a month since he has seen his little family, and he needed a few minutes by himself with Kori. That will work out great because I can probably get a lot done while he makes the trek over to DFW Airport.

Sean had an appointment with the hand therapist this afternoon. She was ill, and she is one of those extremely friendly people that would get done quicker if she was not quite so friendly. His appointment was at 3:40. We got back to see her at 5 p.m. and she was working with another patient. We walked out after 6 p.m. and I really never did figure out what we were there for. Another one of those visits you have to scratch your head and say, "Now what was this for?" Todd kept threatening to leave us, but he stayed. I was glad because I don't enjoy our walk home at that time of night. There are two streets we have to cross that are extremely busy and I swear that there are people driving that I think would just love to run us down.

I got our computer fixed today. I ended up doing it myself. The unfortunate thing is that I lost some of our pictures. I was so frustrated after going to "The Geek Squad" today, that I just decided that it wasn't worth the money to pay them to back the pictures up. They told me that our computer probably had a virus and our warranty does not cover viruses. I really think that it has had a problem since the day that I first bought it and The Geek Squad got their hands on it. Anyway, it is back and running now and it seems lightning fast!

Well, I must go and get ready for our Kori and Joey's arrival.

Thank you for sharing, and thank you for caring!

Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, March 27, 2006 9:27 PM CST

Today is Sean�s first �Survivor� Anniversary. I have been thinking about this all day. Not about what has happened, just what to call it. I bought a cake with balloons on it, and brought it home to write on it because I couldn�t think of what to say. I finally wrote,
�U are Our Hero, Sean�. Todd and I went up to BIR to sit with Sean during lunch and to share the cake. He was so proud and happy that we were with him. People would ask why we brought the cake and we would answer �It is the first anniversary of Sean�s wreck.� But that sounds so sad, and people�s hearts fill with pity. That won�t do. We are celebrating today. So, �Survivor Day� fits. It sounds like a celebration.

A good friend of mine, Chris Sullivan, called this evening and asked me how I was doing. I just had to tell him, �I am doing great!� And I am. I am so happy that my beautiful boy is alive! And I am so proud of the battle he is waging and the Marathon he is running.

Ben, Cheryl, and Calem stopped by for a little while this evening to visit Sean on this Survivor Day. We were laughing at Calem�s antics. He was pretending he was a dog. Crawling across the floor and barking. Sean laughed so hard when he got the chance to �pet� the puppy.

After they left, I was trying to shave Sean and he wouldn�t quit smiling. Ok, guys, have you ever tried to shave yourself when you were smiling? There were patches of whiskers that were left when I was finished. I had to redo the job a couple of times. When I finished, Sean got his Roll Talk and spelled to me, �Don�t you know that asking me not to smile is like asking the Pope not to pray? You just can�t do it!� That is so true. And that is what keeps us all going. That smile�

Thank you for all of the messages today.

Thank you for sharing, and thank you for caring,
Sean�s MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, March 26, 2006 9:19 PM CST

Tonight is the eve of the one year anniversary of Sean's accident. Sean and I have spent the weekend pretty much by ourselves. It was actually a really good weekend for the two of us. Sean has been in such a happy mood.

As I laid him in his bed to me this evening, he spelled to me, "You are my life line." He is mine as well. My life is totally wrapped up in Sean's healing. It is hard for me to see anything beyond this goal. Very infrequently do I talk to old friends. I probably stay most in touch with my dear friend Sarah, and Lois and her daughter Sharon who always seems to know when to reach out.

There are so many people in the wings and you are the ones who read our website and more especially write and leave messages of love and caring, and lift Sean up in prayer. Brenda Reeves and Jama lift us up with a little note each day.

There is a young Amarillo cop who was injured about the same time Sean was. I found out about his accident because his young fiance wrote to me one time after hearing about our website. She and his mother have a website on carepages.com, where they make periodic journal entries. There entries are weekly, but his Mom wrote the one on the anniversary of her sons accident. It bothers me because she said we know he will never be the man he was before his accident.

I have this to say about my son Sean.

Sean may never be the man he would have been before his accident. He will be, and is, a better man. Although his body is broken, he struggles everyday to bring it back. And those of you who know Sean and have spent time with him know that his spirit is not broken. If anything, the light of his soul shines brighter than before. He is so full of courage, and so full of Life! He laughs at me because I often sing to him (I always have) a really goofy song fron the musical "Oklahoma". "Oh what a beautiful morning, oh what a beautiful day. I've got a beautiful feeling, everything's going my way. There's a bright shiny haze on the meadow, there's a bright shiny haze on the meadow. The corn is as high as an elephant's eye and it looks like its climbing clear up to the sky". I always try to sing it in the worst voice I can, which is easy for me because I have a horrible singing voice. Sean's life and his attitude about living are so joyful. Each time he does another "first" he pops a smile as big as Texas across his face. He makes sure that I know about each and every one of these first, his babysteps toward total recovery.

The life that we live is not the life that any family should have to live. But because we walk this path together, we are strong. We are invincible! I wrote something a few days after Sean's accident happened that I would like to share with you today. I prefaced it with a short note about the training I had done and the Marathon I had run December 12, 2004. Sean was at the finish line to catch me as I struggled across.

This is how my story goes....
"Without a choice you decided to join me for Spring Training. Your race for me began at 3:30 a.m. Easter Sunday, March 27, 2005. Your first step was a little before mine and someone else placed you on the trail.

Your road will be much harder, but like your MoM, you will complete this 26.2. I started out with age and asthma as my two strikes. I cannot count the strikes against you, but here is part of the list: a ruptured bladder, right humerus fracture, right femur fracture, the head of your femur was shattered, shattered right acetabulum and pelvis, right pneumothorax (collapsed lung), injuries too numerus to mention but worst of all a traumatic brain injury.

My Beautiful Boy has made the decision and shared it with me. Right now he can't tell me, but I know. After all, I am his mother and I know my son.

This year it is my turn to be your coach, your training partner and your own worst nightmare. The force of my will, will pull you along right now, and you are struggling to convince yourself that this is really what you want to do. We will move together toward our goal."

Another excerpt..."Todd worries about everything with you. Your hair keeps falling into your ears. Todd says "He wouldn't like that." So we all move it behind your ears as you lay sleeping. He's decided that you would want to listen to C&W as you lay there. He thinks it would be more soothing than the rock that Justin thinks you should be listening to.

Sean, your big brother, Ben, has so many regrets for missing the past several months of your life. But he is here now, supporting you and loving you. He is now running his own marathon, but he races beside you. He will push you or drag you and when necessary, he will lift you up and carry you. He will ensure that you cross that finish line."

Thank you all for being Sean's cheering squad. He will be victorious in this race. It is not over. In fact, we cannot even see the finish line at this point. But all of you who know Sean, know that he will make it. He will be victorious!

Thank you for continuing to care,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Saturday, March 25, 2006 7:34 PM CST

Nanny and PaPaw came down this morning and Cousin Gary Morgan drove up from the south side of Lake Whitney for a visit with Sean and Todd. Gary brought the guys some cool ball caps and coozies.

While they were all at our home, Bob and I ran to Blockbuster and got several movies. Todd decided to go visit Justin and Jessica in Whitesboro this evening, and Bob went to his shop to sort through all of his hunting gear. He will be going turkey hunting next weekend and Easter weekend.

Sean and I settled in with the movies. We watched Derailed and Dreamer. Both of them were really good. Sean had made up his mind that he was not going to like my selection, Dreamer, but once the movie got started he really enjoyed it. It is the story of a race horse who had a broken leg who went on to win the Breeders Cup, a very exclusive horse race. The horse was suspended from a sling while her leg was healing. Sean told me that it was her "light gait". I think he felt an affinity for her and in the end, of course, she won the race.

Monday marks the one year anniversary of Sean's wreck. I won't dwell on that today. Instead I will tell you that we enjoyed the laziness of the day. I was able to get 4 huge loads of laundry done, and Sean and I just had a day together.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, March 24, 2006 8:05 PM CST

Our good computer crashed today. I will be taking it to the Geek Squad tomorrow but it could be several days before it is repaired. Ordinarily, I would try to restore the system, but all of Sean's pics are stored on it. Since I can't get it to see the CD drive, I can't back them up to CD. My best bet is to let an "expert" try to recover everything first.

The computer I am using now is old and very, very slow, so please forgive me if I wind up missing a day or a few days entries if this one goes down as well.

Ben and Todd met me this morning and we watched Sean "walking" with a walker. He still needs the assistance of two people, one at his back and one in front of him to help balance him. But he is so proud and so happy and I can tell each time that I see him that he is getting stronger. I had a dream last night that he was running out in the pastures around our little house in Sadler last night. It was so real to me. It wasn't Sean running as a child, it was him running now at
this age. Maybe that is a sign of good things to come.

Gaylon Riddel has come over this evening to visit Sean and Todd. The three of them all share the same birthday. January 11, 1983. They have known each other since the fifth grade. There is an easy camaraderie between the three of them. Gaylon is so good with Sean. We all had steak for dinner and Gaylon noticed that there was a piece of meat stuck in Sean's tooth. He just got up and got a tooth pick and got it out. That is so kind. He is always that way with Sean. He needs to be in Med School instead of law school.

Well, because of the speed of this computer, I will close for now.

Thank you for caring and Thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, March 23, 2006 6:44 PM CST

Cora, I wish we could all go back to those days when Rosie drove your school bus. Thank you for signing on and leaving a message.

Friday morning, Ben, Todd and I will all meet Sean at BIR so that he can show us that he can show us how he can take a few steps with a walker! He also told me that the therapists want to see Ben. They have seen his pictures and met Todd, now they want to meet Ben.

I will take pictures and put them on this site to share our experience.

This afternoon I recieved a phone call from Damon Morris's (one of Sean's Band of Brothers) wife, Michelle. Her sister, Bobbi Hood, was critically injured in a collision while driving through the torrential rains Saturday evening. She was first taken to Wilson N. Jones Hospital in Sherman and then brought to Baylor University Medical Center ICU. Her injuries are critical and her condition sounds grave. I know that she has suffered a traumatic brain injury, is still in a coma, has sustained multiple fractures and has suffered bilateral pneumothorax (collapsed lungs)

I would like to ask that all of you who read this now, pray for Bobbi and her family. My heart is heavy as I understand all to well what her family faces now.

There was another car involved, and the driver and her two children were also injured but I know of no details. Please include that family in your prayers as well.

Thank you for caring, and thank you for sharing.
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, March 22, 2006 8:44 PM CST

Sean, another one of your anonymous angels has revealed herself today. Misty King, thank you for your entry today. Sean was only at Midwestern for a full semester, and then the one that he started when he had his accident. It is heartwarming to know that fellow students still remember him and pray for him now.

I received a text message this morning from Sean. He said, "Momma, I walked with the walker and moved my right leg without any help!!!!" Of course my response to him was, "I am so excited! Hallelujah, Praise the Lord!" This is such a major accomplishment.

After Todd got up and about today, he and I ran out to lunch and then to the grocery store. I am enjoying his visit so much. Tonight I am already getting misty eyed thinking about him having to leave mid-April.

I met the van this evening, and Sean had a huge grin on his face when I greeted him. I always ask him if he had a good day and of course, his answer today was a big positive head nod. Todd came in from working out at the apartment's gym, and he helped me get Sean into and out of the shower. It works so much better at that time of day, because his Baclofen Pump administers a big dose of Baclofen at 4 p.m.. The Baclofen is his antispasticity drug and it really makes that crazy right leg relax so it is easy to bend to get him into and out of the shower. His body just cooperates so much better in the late afternoon instead of in the evening.

Before we got him into the shower he spelled to me that he wanted me to help him up and let him take his right leg step for Todd. The three of us were laughing so hard, because Sean has to put all of his weight on me, and I am not always able to hold onto him. He and I toppled over onto the bed after we did a left, right step! It was a good thing Todd was there, because I had to move him a little more onto the bed and then we had to sit him up again to get him into his transfer chair for the shower. He was so proud, though. I wish each of you could see his face when he accomplishes these things. There is an unbounded joy that lights up every feature on his face.

I can remember when I wanted the light to come back into his eyes as he slumbered in his coma. I said that his eyes were the windows to his soul. Well, his eyes attest that he is HAPPY now! I feel so blessed to share these moments of victory with him and I am so thankful that Todd was here too.

Ben came by this evening and picked Todd up. Ben is taking Thursday and Friday off and spending the time with Todd. Todd will be staying over at Ben's home with his family. Finally Todd will get to do something while he is here. He is so patient with his MoM and his brother. Sean can ring his doorbell a dozen different times within just a few minutes and Todd will be right beside him to find out what he needs.

Well, once again, Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, March 21, 2006 8:15 PM CST

It was cold today, but the weather was beautiful. Todd and I ran up to the Ikea store in Frisco while Sean was at Therapy. I had been looking for a little square table that would expand to seat 6 so that it would give Sean more room to manuever his wheelchair around. Todd and I had seen some really pretty antique tables that I perhaps could have afforded, but I decided to check Ikea one more time. We found the perfect table in the "As Is" department, for $118.00. I don't think anything could beat that.

We got home and moved the round table out and the new little table in and it is perfect. Every inch of floor space that we can clear, makes the apartment more accessible for Sean.

Sean was so excited when he arrived home. He spelled to me, "I stepped out on my right foot by myself today, out of the pool". This was the first time that he actually was able to take that step out with his right foot when he was not walking in the pool. He spelled that it was just one step. But we had to celebrate another victory! Whenever he comes home and says "I had another 'first'", we have to shout "Halleluja, Praise the Lord!" I am always so thankful when Sean is able to recognize his own little victories.

Todd and Bob stayed up until 2 a.m. this morning, "bonding". Bob had a little bit of trouble rolling out of bed, but he shared with me that he really enjoyed the time with Todd.

Tonight, Bob his having to turn in early. It had been a long day after little sleep, and working in the cold, laying under a big truck has tired him out. Sean, Todd and I are watching American Idol. Sean is sitting on the couch, and Todd commandeered Sean's chair.

I want to share with you, that every days entries into Sean's guestbook really help to warm me when I am down. Jama has become such a dear friend, and now so is Brenda Reeves with her daily entries. And then to have someone like Melissa, in Boston, Ma, who has never met us and just "happened upon" Sean's website. It brings so much joy to me to read that kind of entry. I read it to Sean this evening and it heartened him as well.

Thank you all for caring, Thank you for sharing,
Sean, Todd and Ben's MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, March 20, 2006 9:23 PM CST

Sean text messaged me today. "Can we check into changing my anti-depressants?" I sent a message back, to let him know that we could do whatever he felt that we needed to do. I have hopes just getting back to therapy and taking a few minutes to spend some time in the sun would help him.

Todd took Sean's lunch to him in therapy and then spent the remainder of the afternoon with him. I walked up to BIR at 2:30. The last few minutes of his day, Sean laid on his stomach on the mat, raised up on his elbows. I have not seen him laying that way since his accident. He told his PT, Kathy, that he couldn't wait until he could sleep on his stomach like that. He is still so very still in his bed at night. He does not even wiggle a leg, although he can move his left arm. His right arm frequently wakes him up when it goes into spasms. He has to use his left arm to push his right arm back down to his side.

After therapy, the three of us walked back home together. The weather was absolutely beautiful and by the time we got home Sean seemed like he was in a better mood. I keep hoping that he can get out of this despair on his own. Todd was goofing around with him and he seemed so much happier this evening.

Danny and Brad made it down this evening. The boys and I were having dinner when they arrived, and then Bob got home. He had his meal and he and I went out to do a couple of errands while Sean and Todd got to visit with their little brother and their Dad. We got home about 8, and Danny and Brad had just left.

Sean spelled to me, "I think I could cry. This was the first time Brad acted like he actually wanted to hug me." It meant so much to him that his little brother wanted a hug. Sean is so very, very sentimental. Every little thing that people say or do to reach out to him, touches his heart.

Thank you for caring, and thank you for sharing,
Sean, Todd and Ben's MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, March 20, 2006 9:00 AM CST

Wow, we needed an Ark yesterday! The rains really came down. The water was well over the curb outside of our apartment and must have even come in the French Doors in our living room last night because a newspaper laying on the floor right beside it was wet when I picked it up this morning.

Bob had run to the Dixie House Cafe to get Sunday dinner for us, and ended up having to wade through water that was up to his knees, getting back to his truck. He said that there were some streets that he could see the water up to the middle of car doors and people were still driving through! He ended up having to detour several times to stay out of high water.

Danny and Brad were on their way down here at about that time and I called to warn them of the water danger down here. I hated to see them driving all the way through Dallas in that kind of rain and then their having to face that same weather on their return trip to Denison. They had stopped in Plano to look at drum stuff for Brad, when I contacted Danny. He decided that if the rain was as bad as I was telling him it was probably more prudent for him to turn back around and head for home. He will try to come down one afternoon this week.

We didn't even bother getting out to get videos. There was a back to back airing of "Prison Break" on FX that was really good, so we all just watched that together. Ben, Cheryl, Shaya and Calem, got out in the rain and came over and spent several hours with us. I had told Ben that he might want to reconsider but he said that they were already out in it, so they would just come on over. We were all glad to see them. Little Calem kept us all entertained.

Yesterday evening, Sean and Todd, and I were watching Extreme Home Makeover. The episode was about a father who was dying of leukemia who might not even get home to see the new house that was being built for his kids. Sean got really sad and spelled to me, "I am sorry, but death seems like it would be better than what I am doing." He remained sad all evening and kept having to have hugs until he fell asleep last night. I don't know if the rainy dark weather had anything to do with his mood, but I am happy to say that he was smiling as he left this morning to start his new week at Therapy.

Todd will go up there to share lunch with Sean, who spelled to me this morning, "I am going to miss Todd so much when he leaves this time". Today is March 20. Todd will leave April 19, now less than a month away. We are all so thankful that Todd was able to spend so much time with us. Although I know it is hard for him to be away from Kori and Joey for so long, this time has been invaluable for Sean (and for me too for that matter).

I was glad to read that Victor Smith's surgery has gone well. Thank you for keeping us updated, Warren.

Thank you for sharing and Thank you for caring,
Sean, Todd and Ben's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, March 19, 2006 12:32 AM CST

Todd and Sean had visits from friends yesterday afternoon. Jeremy Poet came down Saturday afternoon and spent a few hours. Poor Jeremy has been so busy with school and work that he ended up falling asleep on the couch while the guys were watching a video. He had to leave about 6 and pick up his fiance' Katie from her Mom's house.

Shortly after he left, Brian Wible and Casey Carras showed up, and then Lam Pham came over. They stayed and watched another video and after they left, Justin Boren got here. Justin, Sean and Todd piled up and watched TV together and visited in Sean's room as it was getting late and Sean was ready to relax in his bed. After he got really sleepy, Todd and Justin went off to find Brian, Lam, and the gang.

The weather in Dallas has been cold and very rainy. Rain has been sorely needed here in Texas so we are all happy to have it. When the weather is like this there is really not much to do except hole up and watch videos. I am sure that many others are doing the same thing.

The boys Dad is supposed to be coming down for a Sunday afternoon visit. Bob and I may get out for a little while, if he makes it down in the rain. Otherwise we will just stay home and dry with Sean and Todd. I haven't heard yet if Ben is even going to get out in this weather.

Hope all of you are having a warm and cozy weekend,

Thank you for caring and thank you for sharing,
Sean, Todd and Ben's MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, March 17, 2006 8:13 PM CST

The weekend is supposed to be cold and rainy. I don't really know what that will bring for us. We won't go out with Sean if there is a lot of rain because it is too difficult to try to keep dry while loading and unloading his chair. That is unless we go up to Northpark Mall to just get out for a little while. There is covered parking here and covered parking there, so it could possibly be done without too much trouble.

Todd got in the pool with Sean this afternoon. I took a bunch of pictures and wanted to share them with you. As you can see from their faces, the two brothers really enjoyed their time together.

As usual, Sean has come home zonked. The warm temperature of the pool, on top of the efforts he has to make to walk through the water, really wear him out. It does seem that each time I see him in the pool he is going farther and it is a little easier.

Todd was excited because Sean was standing at the edge of the pool holding on to the wall, with no one assisting him. Kathy, his PT, has to touch his backside occasionally to remind him to stand up straight so that he does not fold up.

Sean's left hand hurts in his splint. He knows that he needs to wear it, but he is frequently asking if he can take it off for a few minutes. It has been nearly a year now since it has been straight, and even though the intrinsic tendon/muscles have been cut, there remains a lot of tension on his hand.

The spasticity that he has is so strange. It is all related to his brain injury, and is apparently quite common. Because of this, Sean is often "locked in" his body. Although we laugh about it, it is really difficult getting him into a seating position at the edge of his bed each morning. I have to swing his legs around off of the bed and at the same time try to sit him up. When he gets to a certain point in our manuevering, his body always goes into a locked stretch and he just straightens out. When he does this it kills my shoulders and back as I am trying to hold him up. The good thing now, is that since his abs are becoming stronger now that he is doing situps, he can help me as I pull him back up into a sitting position. As I hold him upright, I have to reach down and get his knees to bend and get his feet placed upon his pivot disk. I am just not quite ready to try getting him to step backwards and around into his wheelchair while on the carpet. Perhaps I should try while Todd is here, but I just don't know if Sean and I are ready to try this on our own.

Todd must be getting bored with us, but he has made no mention of going anywhere else. We are really enjoying his company. Bob likes to sit up with Todd after I go to bed. He says he is enjoying "getting to know him". I call it their "bonding" time. Bob has no children. He never tries to father the boys. He says he wouldn't have a clue how to do that, nor does he want to. He just treats them as a friend, and I think they appreciate that.

It is so special to see a new person sign the guestbook nearly every day. Old friends, and new friends find their way to Sean's site and let him know that they care.

Thank you for sharing and thank you for caring,
Sean, Todd and Ben's MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, March 16, 2006 7:17 PM CST

Todd and I spent the morning today wandering through some of the antique stores in Forney and then ran back to Big D, for lunch at The Farmers Market. The Tacos at the little kiosk outside of the Bazaar makes the best ones in town! At least in my opinion, they are the best.

Before we left for Forney, we ran up to see Sean. He had just finished 15 sit-ups. When he saw us come in, he decided he had to do another 5!

Todd really liked the stores that I took him through. We can't wait until Kori comes down because he said that she will really enjoy them. I told him that I would watch my grandson, Joey, and let the two of them go down to Forney together. I want them to have a little time to do somethings together while they are here, and I will enjoy the time with Joey. There is a really neat little playground within walking distance of the apartment. In fact, it is on the way to BIR. I am sure that Joey will have fun playing there.

Sean is really excited about tomorrow because Todd is going to spend the whole day with him at Therapy. Usually they do not allow family members stay but I think everyone realizes that spending time with Todd is also great therapy for Sean.

Todd has shown such patience and kindness with his brother. There is a tremendous bond of love between them.

Saturday afternoon and early evening, several of the band of brothers and kids that they gratduated with are coming down to spend time with both Sean and Todd. Ben and Cheryl are going to a wedding so they will not be here. The guys are all looking forward to getting together again.

Thank you for caring and thank you for taking a moment to write in Sean's guestbook,
Sean, Todd and Ben's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, March 15, 2006 7:39 PM CST

Todd and I spent the day together while Sean was in therapy. I had forgotten to pack Sean's swimsuit today. I had gotten out of the schedule while his hand was healing. Today was going to be his first day back in the pool. Kathy, his PT, called and asked me to bring some dry clothes at about 2. She said that he could go in the pool in the shorts he was wearing.

When I got to BIR, Sean was in the pool and I got to watch him walking. It was awesome! Kathy walks backwards in front of him with her hands on his gait belt. Sean is able to move both his left foot and now his right foot and walk with no other assistance than Kathy holding him upright! It is so wonderful to see.

This evening when he got home, he was totally worn out. He spelled to me that he had fed himself his lunch, but he wanted me to take over for dinner. He said that he was just too tired to do it himself. Walking in the pool had wiped him out. He also spelled that he will be ready to go to bed early tonight.

I don't know if Todd is having any fun on his vacation this week, but he acts like he is content to spend his time with me here at home and I know he is enjoying the opportunity to spend so much time with Sean. Ben is going to try to take a couple of days off next week to spend time with Todd, just the two of them.

There was a story on the news or the Today show or something that Todd and I were watching this week about sibling rivalry and fighting. I asked him why he and his brothers never fought when they were little. He told me that he and Sean just never really got mad at each other, and he said that he always knew better than to fight with Ben because he figured he would just knock the crap out of him. Honestly, though, I don't know how or why, but I really think a lot of it was just their natures. They just "got" along. And I think they always knew they cared about each other.

I am so blessed with the lives of my three sons, and I am so grateful to be able to share their lives with them.

Thank you for sharing, and thank you for caring,
Sean, Todd and Ben's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, March 15, 2006 8:58 AM CST

Sorry, I didn't get a Tuesday entry in last night. Kevin ended up staying the night Monday. Tuesday was going to be a recreational outing to the Zoo for Sean, so I told him that he could play hooky. He was so glad to be able to stay up a little later than usual and goof around with Kevin and Todd. Kevin was tired from his drive down so it wasn't too much later than usual.

Kevin left shortly before noon, and after lunch we had to walk to Big Baylor to the Wadley Tower for Sean's appointment with Dr. Ellis. His hand was finally unwrapped and then we had to visit with the hand therapist and have a splint made. We ended up being there until almost 7. What a long time! Our appointment had originally been for 3 p.m. with the doctor, and then we had the therapist visit that started an hour later. I was really glad Todd was with us, because he was Sean's "hand model". The therapist molded Sean's splint on Todd's hand so he ended up with the "perfect" fit.

I was also glad that Todd was with us because it was already getting dusky when we left the office, and it felt much safer having Todd along.

Sean has to wear his splint most of the time, although he is allowed to take it off for a few minutes every hour and he is able to relearn how to feed himself.

We got in so late yesterday evening and by the time we watched American Idol, and Sean had his shower it was time for Sean to get into bed. He and Todd wanted to watch "The Shield" together. It is one of their favorite shows.

I was exhausted last night, so as soon as I was able, I too crawled into bed.

It is so exciting to read the messages that you readers, Sean's "Army of Angels" write to him. Again yesterday there was a message from someone we do not know, that had found out about Sean and is now cheering him on.

Thank you so much for sharing, and Thank you for Caring,
Sean, Todd and Ben's MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, March 13, 2006 10:26 PM CST

Sean's week of therapy started again today. Kevin Krier drove down from Tallequah, Oklahoma to see the brothers. It's more than a 550 mile roundtrip and he was going to do it all in one day. I think we have him convinced that it is not wise to go back this evening.

As you can see from the picture, they were all happy to be together again. Kevin and Todd have not seen each other since Todd and Kori's wedding, February 19, 2005, just over a year. Kevin and Sean were together at Sean's benefit, but they did not get to spend much time together that day. I had not realized that it has been 7 years since Kevin moved back to Oklahoma, along with his parents, Kent and Jackie Webb. His little brother, Jackson must have just been 2 or 3 at the time.

Having grown up as an Air Force Brat, I do not even remember friends from my childhood. It makes me so glad that my sons have had friends all their lives. Although Kevin lives so far away and is working and going to college he has made the efforts to remain close to Sean and Todd, particularly since Sean's accident.

Kevin got here today right at lunch time so the three of us went to lunch and after returning home, we walked up to BIR to meet Sean. He had an appointment with Dr. Snoots this afternoon. After the appointment we walked home together. Once we got here, we transferred Sean to one of the benches in the courtyard. Sean was laughing so hard that we were all laughing. I took a bunch of pictures of the three of them on the bench together, but Sean never stopped laughing, so there is not one serious picture. We tried, but there was no cooperation.

I cooked a big steak dinner, and now we are all winding down, watching a video. I am really enjoying having my son home!

Thank you for sharing and Thank you for caring,
Sean's (Todd and Ben's too!) MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, March 13, 2006 9:24 AM CST

Sean and I had such a great weekend. It was fun having Todd around again. We ended up staying home all day yesterday. Ben, Cheryl and the kids came by in the late afternoon and Todd and I ran out for about an hour to get a couple of things at a couple of stores.

When we got home we were all laughing at Calem. He was pretending that he was a dog and he had gotten the rolled and taped washcloth that Sean holds in his right hand so that his fingers do not dig into his palm too much. He was calling it his bone. Now, whenever Sean drops it or needs it, he calls it his bone!

Kevin Krier called this morning. He is on his way down here from Ft. Gibson, Ok., for the day. He wasn't able to get any day other than today off from work, but he is on spring break and he wanted to get down to see both Sean and Todd sometime this week. So today is the day. What a great friend to drive down here for a few hours.

Sean has a follow-up doctors appointment with Dr. Snoots, on his feet today. Todd, Kevin and I will walk over to BIR to pick him up at 2 and then we will go across the street to Dr. Snoots' office. After that we will walk/roll home.

Todd made Joey and Kori's reservations for their flight down here. They will travel down on March 29, and stay until April 19. That should give them time to stay and visit us, and also spend some time at their Dad's in Denison.

We all hope that each of our "Army of Angels" had a wonderful weekend.

Thank you for sharing and thank you for caring!
MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, March 12, 2006 7:59 AM CST

Sean, Todd and I got out and did a bunch of running around. Sean had another "first" since his accident. We actually went inside a Taco Bueno for lunch. He got to read the menu and pick out what he was in the mood to eat at that minute! Then we sat together and ate, and laughed and talked.

We met Ben for a couple of hours and the brothers just spent the day doing "normal" stuff together. We left the pivot disk at home and the brothers would take turns helping Sean stand and I was teaching them to weight shift him so that he could use his left foot to step and then shift onto the left so that he could turn his right foot to place it correctly for the transfer.

When we got home late yesterday evening, Sean was worn out and wanted to lay down in his bed for a little while. They were all laughing because they cheated getting Sean into bed. Todd stood him up and then Ben just picked him up and sat him down on the edge.

Today will be a busy day away from home again. We are taking advantage of the wonderful north Texas weather and having Todd with us. We will be out and about again. There are things that Sean has wanted to do but there has either never been the time, or someone has not been available to go along with us.

What a great weekend we are all having together!

Thank you for caring and thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Saturday, March 11, 2006 11:10 AM CST

As you can see, Todd has arrived! Ben, Cheryl and Calem drove to Greenville to pick him up. They got home just as Sean was getting ready to fall asleep. As you can see he was so excited that he had to show them his new tricks.

Sean had told me on Thursday that he can stand up now. He meant that when you pulled him up to transfer him, he was finally strong enough to stand straight up. Of course, he still needs assistance standing there, but in the past he has always been bent at the waist with his butt out in the air. Now he just stands straight up.

Friday morning after I got him up and in his chair, he would not go out into the living room until I stood him up again. Yesterday evening going back into his room, he insisted on standing up again. I called Bob into the bedroom to show him Sean's new "first". Then Sean laid back on his bed, and he showed Bob how he can now do situps. This is such a huge accomplishment.

When his brothers came in, he had to show them how he could stand. Ben wanted to hold him up, they were all three so excited. Then Sean again had to lay back on his bed and show them the situps.

Bob left this morning for his deer lease. Turkey season opens April 1, and they are trying to get everything ready. He is planning on going down their April 1 weekend and Easter weekend, while Todd is here.

Well, we are meeting Ben in about an hour. We have some things we are going to do together.

Thank you for sharing, and thank you for caring!
Sean, Todd and Ben's MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, March 9, 2006 8:24 PM CST

Sean came home this afternoon and the first thing that he spelled was, "Todd is coming home on Monday. Yippeyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!" He is so excited about seeing his twin again.

I talked to him this evening and they were trying to get as far as Mobile, Alabama tonight. They had passed through Pensacola around 6 p.m. I know that if Todd was by himself driving he would be here tomorrow, but they are traveling with motorcyclists so his speed is their speed, as it should be.

Sean spelled to me that he had another first today. He told me that today was the first day that he was able to "feel" his right leg initiate a stride. He still needed help to move it, but he spelled that he could actually feel it. He spelled that it used to feel "dead". He insists that he will be walking on his own (perhaps with a walker) by this summer. He said that once he starts we will not be able to stop him.

He also spelled to me that he is glad he is "still kicking". He spelled that he knows he wants to live!

Bob and I got Sean into the shower early. He wanted to have his shower and be laying in his bed to watch "The O.C." It is one of his favorite shows. Bob has run to Home Depot to pick up a few things for the shop.

I am supposed to meet with our wheelchair salesman and the manufacturer's rep for Invacare tomorrow morning. Even though Sean's chair is repaired, I am very concerned about its repair record and the fact that it will only be under warranty for another 6 months. At that point Sean will be responsible for the cost of all repairs.

Thank you for sharing and thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, March 8, 2006 9:03 PM CST

The first big thunder storm of the year is poinding away right now. Bob has just gotten in from work. He stayed late and is working on a "trash" treasure that I found this morning. I will have to take a picture of it when we finish with it.

Sean and I finally got ot watch "Walk the Line" in its entirety. What a great movie. Of course we all knew how it would end up, but it was still exciting when June finally said yes to Johnny. We all like a love story, and one better kind than a real life one?

We then watched American Idol together and I have just gotten Sean in bed for his hour of TV watching before he turns the lights off.

Todd called. He was looking for some souveniers for his brothers. They were going to leave on Friday, but they have decided that it was to long a haul for motorcycle riding from Florida to Texas in just two days. They have also decided that they were going to try to load one or two of the bikes into the bed of the truck and take turns riding in the truck and on the motorcycles home. Todd has promised that he will be in the truck the entire way.

Sean had another good day. He takes a lot of teasing from the "guy staff" at BIR. It is so nice that they all treat him just like they do all of the rest of the patients. They recognize Sean's sense of humor and they love to "rib" him about his "pretty boy" looks. That's what one of them nicknamed Sean the first time he was there as an inpatient, and he has continued to call Sean that. He always says to Sean, "Can I have your black book?" Sean gets such a kick out of that, but he sticks by his guns that he's thrown it away.

Ben has been sick with a fever and had to stay home the last couple of days. Cheryl told me that he slept all day yesterday. Little Calem had been sick when he and Ben came over this weekend, so I am sure that is what Ben had. I remember when the boys were infants/toddlers and they would get sick, I frequently would as well.

Yes, we will be going to Lois and Ron's for Easter. Sean and Todd have a wedding to attend on Saturday in Sadler, Texas. I found out that I still had enough Hilton Honors points for two free rooms, so we will all just stay up in Sherman Saturday night. That way Sean will be able to spend some time at the reception after the wedding and not be too tired to go to Trinity Lutheran on Easter Sunday. We really want to share services with our good friends in that congregation. Plus, we will be able to see Pastor Craig's beautiful new daughter Emma.

Thank you all for sharing, and thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, March 7, 2006 9:02 PM CST

Lois is on vacation with her husband Ron and a group of friends in Branson, Missouri. I will have to call her tomorrow and give her the good news of the Benefit Total. She worked so hard to bring it to fruition and she was the one that planted and nurtured the idea oh so many months ago. The check came from Thrivent today so I will take it to the Bank and deposit it in Sean's Medical Fund. It is with sincere and gracious thanks, Sean and I honor all who contributed with their talent, "talents" or presence in his Benefit.

Thank you for all of the kind words that have been written. It is so nice to have all of you out there supporting both Sean and I. When you look at his face, you can just see that happiness still resides within him. He truly is a miracle.

Oh my gosh, I have to share, his wheelchair was finally returned to us this afternoon. When he heard me going outside to let John, the Tech, in the gate to deliver it, he gave out the loudest yell. John could hear him outside. I don't think that I have heard his vocalization as loud as it was at that moment. He was so excited! When I transferred him into the chair he just looked like he was melting into it with the biggest grin on his face.

Being in his own chair increases his comfort level so much and it also returns some of his independence to him. He has been dealing with so much because he still cannot feed himself or hold his cup to drink because of the bulk of the cast and padding. The chair will allow him to again move around at his will, rather than at the will of others.

I appreciate all of the support that all of you have given me through the website. I know that my usual positive self will soon return. It is just a matter of time. Honestly? I think that part of it is that the date, March 26, the anniversary of Sean's accident is almost upon us. I am so glad that Todd and Ben will be with Sean during this time. Sean is only aware of the vigil that his brothers kept for him. He has no memory of it. I am glad that this year there will be memories, and they will be happy ones.

Thank you for all of your sharing, and thank you for caring!
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, March 6, 2006 9:31 PM CST

Sean is finally in bed and winding down for the day.

I am supposed to meet with the wheelchair vendor and manufacturer's rep on Friday. I told our salesman today that I am very hot. I am not happy with the way the repair of Sean's chair is going and I am extremely unhappy with the chair itself. I have also told him that I will persue the Lemon Law if we do not come to an acceptable resolution. To me, acceptable will be an entire new base chair. I can be extremely reasonable and accomodating, but there comes a point where that becomes focused entirely on Sean's needs and no one elses matters any longer.

I ran up to BIR at 10 and grabbed Sean in his manual chair and pushed him across the street to the Wadley Tower to Dr. Ellis' office. We were both naively thinking that Sean was going to have a hand free from any casting or wrapping. Whoa, were we mistaken. The doctor unwrapped it and checked it all out. He is extremely pleased with the look of the fingers, especially his thumb. But, he explained to us that it takes tendons 12-14 weeks to heal. He resplinted and wrapped the hand and it is every bit as big as it was before. Although the index finger was left out, the casted splint was placed in such a way that Sean can no longer hold his cup. He had been holding it this weekend, but there is no way it will go in his hand now. Sean is scheduled to go back next Tuesday at which time he will be fitted into a removable splint that will keep his fingers at maximum stretch for healing. I thought Sean would be discouraged, but he never seemed to be.

All evening I have been on the verge of tears. I do not know where Sean is digging up his courage or good humor. He told me this evening that his speech therapist has told him that she wants his throat scoped to see if his soft palate is functioning properly. She said that if it is not, there is a surgery that could be done. I have never heard anything about this so it has taken me completely by surprise. Her feeling is that this is the reason that he may not be breathing at all through his mouth and why he does not swallow liquids easily. Ever since his surgery last Tuesday he cannot finish a cupful of liquid without aspirating and choking. I thought it might have been related to the pain medication that he was taken, but he has had none today and he has choked and coughed horribly every time he drank tonight.

I cried when he gave me the news about another surgery. I honestly don't know how this nightmare just never seems to end. I am thankful for all of the progress that Sean has made, but it always seems as though something else is identified as a major problem and my beautiful boy could face another surgery. Why did this happen to him? Where does he find the fortitude to move forward? I tell him that he is the reason I am making it through each day, but I think to myself that I don't know how he is doing it.

This evening he wanted so bad to talk to me, and he had to keep calling me to his side so that we could use the letter board. He was always so sweet, and he just wanted to make conversation, but I was trying to cook dinner and I was having such a hard time keeping my smile on my face each time I went to his side. I understand totally his needs, and I am so thankful I am offered the opportunity to spend time with him. He is never demanding or rude, but it is still sometimes just so very difficult to be "on call" 24/7, or at least one hundred percent of the time that he is home with me.

As soon as I have these thoughts, I am filled with guilt because I think about how Sean must feel. He spelled to me the other night "How would you feel if everything that you did was on someone else's schedule." I think now about the cruel e-mails that some of his so called girl friends have written him, or more often than not, not written at all to him because he was "bugging them". Sometimes I think that people are so cruel, but I only have to turn to this website and read the messages left by Sean's Army of Angels and I know that there are good, kind people in the world.

Todd called a little while ago. Justin had just picked him up at the Daytona Beach Airport. They were on their way to Walmart and were then going on to their campsite. I told him to have a wonderful time and we would certainly understand if he just skipped his daily calls to us. He has been unfailing in these daily calls.

Thank you so much for sharing and thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, March 5, 2006 9:41 PM CST

I really enjoyed my lazy Sunday. Bob went in to the shop to work on plumbing problems. Some things he just cannot do during the work week.

Sean and I awoke early and got up and watched "Sunday Morning" during breakfast, and then watched Amazing vacation homes. I don't really think Sean enjoys either one of them, but he tolerates them because he knows that I like them both.

After I showered, Sean and I loaded up his manual wheelchair for a trip to Blockbuster. This was a red letter day. Sean has not been in a movie rental store since sometime prior to March 26, 2005. Nearly a year has past. We picked out three movies, the animated "Corpse Bride", "North Country" and "Walk the Line".

That is what our entire day consisted of, just watching videos together. Ben and Cheryl dropped in for a quick visit. Ben realized a few weeks ago that he had really packed on the pounds, and has gotten into "The Abs Diet". I don't know how much weight he has lost but he has lost 2 and a half inches around his waist in probably the same number of weeks. He has begun working out daily and Bob and I had talked him into going to Luke's Locker to have them fit him into running shoes. Bob and I can both see a difference in Ben's weight. He was never huge or probably even overweight, but he looks really good now.

North Country was really good and for those of you who saw it and remember the end, Sean would have stood up and cheered if he could have. Instead he just raised his left arm up and "vocalized". He was really happy when the women won their class action law suit.

Sean and I both got frustrated with the DVD "Walk the Line" because it kept skipping and stopping and we finally just gave up on it. I will have to take it back tomorrow and hope they have one for exchange because we were both enjoying it until that started.

When we left Blockbuster we drove through Taco Cabana and got enchiladas to eat at home. It felt so good to just get out and do something together without it feeling like it was a huge effort.

I talked to Todd this evening. He was packing to leave tomorrow and fly to Daytona and then his road trip home for about 4 weeks in Texas. His brothers, Bob and I are looking so forward to seeing him, as I know Danny and Janice and his grandparents are. Then we will see Joey and Kori at the end of this month.

Bob helped me get Sean in and out of the shower and now Sean is watching TV in his room. Bob has retired early. He missed his weekend nap and will have a busy work week as usual.

If you are wondering about the big parrot. We bought him yesterday at Dallas Farmers Market. Sean has named him Millard, because he is not a duck (Mallard?). Ok, I don't understand it either, but that is his name. He watches over Sean as he sleeps, perched there in the corner of this room.

It has been wonderful and encouraging to Sean to read the messages that have been left for him since his surgery.

Thank you for sharing, and thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Saturday, March 4, 2006 9:10 PM CST

Sean is in bed watching TV now, and Bob is on the couch. I was going to go to bed and write in the morning, but I am always afraid I will forget something.

Our day started out early. Sean woke up at 6:47 (I have to be precise, because Sean is a stickler about time). I got up and made my coffee and then climbed into his bed beside him. We let Bob sleep until almost 8, and then I got him up to help me get Sean in and out of the shower. Nanny and PaPa would be down out 10 a.m., so we had to get Sean's breakfast, feed him and straightenn up the apartment.

At precisely 10 a.m., PaPa was walking up the sidewalk. I saw him from the window so I went out to open the gate and great them. Sean always enjoys these visits. He gets a kick out of PaPa's corny jokes. Sean was really dragging this morning once he was up, however, so PaPa let him rest and Bob, Sean and I just enjoyed a nice visit with the two of them.

After they left, we decided to take advantage of the day and drove over to Farmers Market. The weather was just a little cool but the sunlight felt really good. We walked through the bazaar and Sean spied this big Mexican parrot. It is brilliant green, with touches of red, yellow and white. Made of paper mache, the bird is nearly 4 feet long and he sits on a perch. We bought it for his room, and now it hangs in the corner suspended from the ceiling. I had always wanted one, and I think it is funny that Sean saw this one and thought he needed it. I will have to take a picture of it, to share with you.

We sat in the Plaza at the Market and Sean and I shared Tacos from the Taco Stand. We both thought they tasted great. In fact, I don't think any restaurant that I have eaten in had better ones. Then we strolled on down to the produce buildings and I bought mangos and strawberries. They are so good. I really don't know that they are any different from the ones at the grocery store, but it is just really fun to pick out your own special basket full.

Afterwards we came home and Ben and Calem had just gotten here. The brothers enjoyed some time piled up on Sean's bed, while Calem and I goofed around together. He is just a year older than my grandson, Joey. Kori and Joey will be coming around the end of March and I can't wait to see them both.

Just as Ben was leaving Brian Wible came down from Sherman. He has been such a faithful friend, and even though he was driving back to Wichita Falls tonight, he made the trip down to see Sean. Bob had spent a little time at the shop while Ben was here but he arrived with pizza from Campisi's Egyptian for the boys. Brian and Sean chowed down, really enjoying it.

Once Brian left, Sean wanted to go into his room. Getting him moved back into his wheelchair from the couch, he had one of his "melt downs". They don't happen very frequently, but something will send him into a frenzy, or rage. I never am sure which. It started off because his leg was being pinched and it was hurting so much, yet he couldn't tell us. Then it just escalated because we could not figure out what it was. These little episodes never last long, but they cut me to the core. It is the one thing about this whole journey to recovery that I cannot deal with.

Of course, after it passes Sean is extremely apologetic. I know that it is almost as if he does not allow himself to be frusterated at all during the day, and then he gets tired and it finally spills over. Bob always remains calm and manages to get the two of us back on track and then we can go on. Sean and I hug each other and cry and the storm breaks up and moves on. Much as a spring time storm. We share a lot of thunder, the showers come and then it dissipates.

I wish I would have had the camera when we went to Farmers Market. I usually always have it with me, but somehow forgot today. Hopefully you will enjoy these pictures and I promise that the next time we go to the Market, we will take pictures there.

Thank you for sharing, Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, March 3, 2006 8:42 PM CST

The weather this Friday has been wonderful. Spring is definitely in the air here in Texas. What part of Sean's body will have a rebirth next?

Since I have been housebound since Monday, I had to buy groceries today. I decided I was going to stop at a new Kohl's in our neighborhood and get Sean some real guy clothes. He has worn Adidas snap pants since his accident, and I am ready to see him this spring and summer in regular clothes. Of course, when I am in a store, I have to go through all of the departments and look. But I did find some cute shorts and a few T-shirts for him. He gets a kick out of wearing funny shirts to therapy, so when I see a really funny one, I feel compelled to get it for him.

I had to wake him up to get him ready for therapy today. His sleep the last three nights has been so heavy. Surgery is exhausting for him. He text messaged me today and asked me to pick him up early. He said in the message that lunch had wiped him out. When I texted back to him, and told him that I would be there within an hour, he sent another message. "Thank you for being my MoM. And thank you so much for coming early to get me Mommy Dearest." He thinks it is really funny to call me "Mommy Dearest."

Sean caught me shopping for groceries and it ended up being almost 2 o'clock before I could get back to him. I finished my shopping and dashed home to carry all of the groceries in and put the cold stuff away, and then drove over to BIR. I could not see him tolerating me pushing him home if he was really worn out.

When I arrived he did look tired, but he greeted me with a huge smile. It is always so uplifting to see that smile. Ever since he was a little boy, I felt I could carry the smiles of my sons in my heart. While Sean lay in coma for 39 days, it is what I would cling to. It is still such a blessing every time he smiles at me now.

I talked to Todd this evening (we talk every day at least 1 or 2 times). He is getting so excited so excited about his trip to Daytona and the week he will spend with Justin Boren. He is also really looking forward to coming home to his twin brother, and big brother Ben. It will be so good to have him home again.

Sean and I are really, really aggravated with Praxair, our wheelchair vendor, and with Invacare, the manufacturer. Tomorrow it will be 2 entire weeks that Sean has been without his power chair. I told our wonderful tech, John, this evening that he better pass on the word that I am going to be on the warpath on Monday. I know that John has done everything he can, but he has not been getting the support that he needs from his company, nor from the manufacturer in figuring out what is wrong with Sean's chair. The thing that also angers me, is that Sean has had to bear so much discomfort from his hand, and his manual chair is just not near as comfortable as his power one so he bears the discomfort from that as well.

Saturday morning, Sean's Nanny and PaPa are coming to see him. They are missing him and since they did not come down for his surgery, I think they have the same need to see his smile. His reassurance that all is well.

The guestbook is so comforting. It is so humbling to read the messages that are being left. Sean's Army of Angels is being very diligent in letting him know that they still care. He needs this so much.

Thank you for caring, and thank you for continually sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, March 3, 2006 9:06 AM CST

Sean had a tough day yesterday. I told him that the 2nd day after surgery, to me, has always been the worst day so I wasn't too worried about him. It would be uphill now, with each day getting better.

He spelled to me yesterday that he felt as if he had been beaten and he was just worn out. I am happy to report that once he got outside and on the van, he had that big smile on his face and he was waving at me with that big "club" hand. His arm will seem so light once he gets that bandage off.

He wanted me to call BIR and let the folks in Day Neuro know that he had to keep his arm elevated. Instead, I just wrote a big note, "Keep me elevated".

When I was getting him dressed this morning I noticed that the top of his left big toe was really red and he spelled to me that it was burning. So, after I got him up. I took his shoe off of that foot and I just wrote a note on his sock. "Kathy, please look at the top of my big toe". Who needs a voice? I will just turn Sean into a rolling billboard.

Bob picked up Sean's new glasses yesterday afternoon. They look just like the other pair, so you will not notice a difference in his pictures. He has had so many compliments on his "Clark Kent" look and he considers himself "Superman". When it came down to picking out frames, the thought he should just stick with that style.

It makes me so happy to see all of the postings everyone has made over the past several days. I have been printing them out and reading them to Sean. There are entries from people we have not heard from since the beginning. It makes us both feel so good to see your thoughts again. What a circle of friends Sean has, and what an Army of Angels!

Thank you for sharing and thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, March 2, 2006 10:48 AM CST

I have been reading all of your guestbook entries to Sean and I can not convey to you how important they have been to both of us.

Sean is beginning to return to his positive, happy frame of mind again. Yesterday afternoon he was able to start moving his left arm again and get that index finger going to "talk" to me on his alphabet board again. Thank heavens for that! His arm is heavy and he really has to keep it elevated above his heart to keep it from throbbing, so he is not extremely "talkative" but at least he can order me around again when he needs something.

Actually, he is doing better. He slept all night long without waking up for pain medication. Although he wanted it as soon as he got up and had breakfast. I told him that he is going to return to Day Neuro tomorrow. He is not particularly thrilled about that. He wanted to wait until he had no more pain in his hand, but I am thinking he is like a reticent child. It is the "thought" of returning that is hard for him. I know that once he gets there he will be fine. In fact, I think his spirits will really be lifted by being back into his routine. Plus he needs the physical therapy for his body. Otherwise there would be 7 days with no therapy. I also know that if he tires or his hand really starts hurting, I can just run get him and bringing home.

Throughout the afternoon yesterday, he would call me over to his side and then spell to me, "I sure do love you mommy dearest." I think about Sean and his courage and his "sun shiny" personality. I wonder how he is able to maintain that. It is interesting. I have had a lot of opportunity to observe other brain injury patients. Many seem to become angry and demanding. Although Sean has his "moments" they are very infrequent. He has spelled to me that he could is aware of everything that I do for him.

I truly feel blessed in the relationship I have with my sons. Each of them, individually. I am so incredibly lucky!

I have this dream of Sean's website growing to 100,000 hits. It will probably go over 79,000 by the end of tomorrow. Eventually the Lord has to hear all of us begging and pleading for Sean's body to respond to the instructions of his brain.

I read each and every entry in Sean's guestbook and I feel as though each of you have given Sean and I a gift. Each entry is a little jewel and my heart is a treasure chest, holding each of them.

Thank you for caring, and thank you for sharing,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, March 1, 2006 11:12 AM CST

This is the face of Courage!

Things are going as well as can be expected. It is so hard and frustrating for Sean because he can't communicate easily since his hand hurts so bad and it has a huge wrap/bandage on. It almost looks he is wearing a boxing glove. His index finger is out and hopefully he will be able to use his roll talk again when the pain subsides.

For now, we have worked out a way that he sticks his tongue out if he needs to spell, and then I have to get the letter board and say, 1st row, 2nd row, 3rd row, and then narrow it down across the row to which letter he is spelling and then we move on to the next one. It is exhausting work.

Recovery was horrible. They wanted me in there with him during recovery, (thank heavens)since I knew my son and could communicate with him somehow. I knew Danny and Janice needed to get out of town before the traffic rush and we could not all be in recovery with Sean. They went into recovery first so they could tell him goodbye and Danny rushed out to get me. Sean was "screaming" and his lower jaw was trembling horribly. Almost like he was chattering his teeth from the cold.

I finally figured out that he was trying to tell them that he was so horribly hot. He had blankets piled all over him and he could not get anyone to understand. I got the covers off of him and he was a little better. But he just kept on with that horrible noise. I kept talking to him and realized that he was just so frustrated because their was no way to communicate and he was afraid of the future because of it. He also was extremely agitated looking at all of the other patients in the recovery room.

Once we got to a private room, he started doing much better. When we were finally able to go, we decided to make the trip with me walking, pushing him in his wheelchair. Thank heavens for the kind hand of Kathy, his PT, in helping me dress him and then ensuring that we actually made it home and into the apartment. I don't know how he endured our walk home. I know that the 15 minute walk must have seemed like hours to him, but he was stoic through it all.

He actually slept really well, only waking once in the night for pain medication, and then he made it through until 8:30. He is now up. I have fed him breakfast and he is just sitting watching TV with his arm up on his bedside table. As long as it is raised up to chest height he is able to tolerate things.

I can only imagine the emotional pain that Sean is dealing with right now, in addition to the physical pain he must be suffering. He is in his own purgatory, and it just seems so unjust.

I have never been as proud of my beautiful boy as I am right now. In fact, I am not sure that pride is the right word. Sean is truly, my hero. He continues to tolerate things that no human should have to endure and he manages to do it with a smile. Even through all of this, he just spelled out, "I love you". What greater gift could I have?

Life is okay, and Sean and I both keep thinking that it has to get better!

Thank you for your recent entries in Sean's guest book. I wish everyone reading this would stop and write, even if it is just your name so that I can read to Sean who all his supporters are.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, February 28, 2006 7:34 PM CST

Sean had his surgery this morning. The surgeon felt that his hand looked as though there would be really good results.

Danny and Janice were there throughout the surgery. Sean was glad to see them before and after he went into the O.R.

I will be ever indebted to his wonderful, PT, Kathy Johnson, who came over when she got off of work and helped me dress him and then she got him into his wheelchair. I pushed him home and she checked on us from her car along the way, and then drove to our apartment, parked her car, and walked back to help us the last block home. She helped me get Sean into the house and parked comfortably in front of the TV so that I could get some dinner for him.

He was starved, ate, I brushed his teeth and Bob and I put him to bed. At this point he is not in a lot of pain, however he managed to let me know that he has a splitting headache.

He is extremely frustrated, because he is unable to point at all, thus his communication is completely lost. Imagine the agony of knowing what you want to say, but being totally unable to let anyone know how you feel.

I am winding this up and hopefully I will be able to let you know more tomorrow.

We hope your Tuesday was a Fat One!

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, February 27, 2006 8:44 PM CST

I had to run Sean's swim suit to him this morning. He had not thought that he would have pool therapy today, so when he found out he would he sent a text message asking for his suit. I dropped it off and when I did was invited to stay to watch him walk. He walks now with his OT, Beth, holding him by holding his gait belt and walking in front of him. Then Kathy, his PT, sits on a rolling stool behind him and she pushes on his right knee. The rest of his movements he is able to make on his own. He was so straight and tall today. It was the best I have seen him. It exhausts him and he does not walk far, but you can see how much better he is moving than he has been.

Sean has surgery on his left hand tomorrow. All of his fingers except his index finger will have musculo-tendon work done on them. The doctor has told us over and over that there is no gaurantee that this will fix the problem with his fingers, but it does look like our best option.

Sean is scared. I was with him today for a few minutes at BIR. I had walked over to meet him at 3 p.m. so that we could walk home and enjoy the sunshine. Sean, and his PT, Kathy, and I were talking and Sean spelled that he was more afraid of this surgery than any of the others he has had. He spelled to me tonight that "If I could walk and talk, I would not be so afraid. This is my only way to communicate. I am worried about my index finger."

I told him that there were a lot of prayers going out for him. Lois had rallied her troops at Trinity Lutheran Church, and our faithful, "Army of Angels" will be adding their prayers as well. Sean and I will pray tonight for continued healing, for wisdom of his surgeon and all of the prayer that we can muster to fill his room tonight and the OR tomorrow.

Danny called this evening and he and Janice will be there to see him before surgery in the morning.

Thank you so much for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, February 26, 2006 9:52 AM CST

Nanny and PaPaw made a pitstop at our home for a visit with Sean as they passed through Dallas to go to Hillsboro for visits with relatives down there. Sean was glad to see them both, as he always is.

A rainy Saturday, found Sean and I out going to our eye exams. Of course Bob was there, the one getting soaked as we loaded Sean's chair up and down. We took the manual one because we didn't want to deal with the loaner and we knew it would be quicker getting it in and out of the truck. But Bob still wound up with the rain pouring down on him as he covered the chair up for the drive home.

We had to get another pair of glasses for Sean. The optomitrist feels that Sean's eye muscles are suffering the same spasticity as his muscles and they are not working as hard to focus. Sean has also discontinued a drug that could be influencing the muscles of his eye. Rather than just changing lenses we are going to get a whole new set of glasses for Sean so that he can switch back and forth as his eyes respond accordingly.

The doctor encouraged Sean to get back to reading as this is "exercise" for the eye. Sean had read a lot when he was at Pate, but is so focused on physical rehab at Baylor that he has not been reading. This is an activity I can encourage him to have at home, though. We don't want to reduce any of the mobility therapy that he has.

I am excited about our day yesterday regarding Sean's transfers. We only used the pivot disk in his room. The rest of the time, I would stand him up and hole him. He would move his left foot, and Bob would help him get his right foot placed, as he turned to move from one chair to another. This is such an accomplishment. I can still remember the days when I would have to get help to have someone assist me as we lifted Sean whenever he had to change chairs, or move from bed to chair, etc., The transfers are still not easy, but there is a definite sense between us of his control returning along with the hope of his independence.

Danny, Janice and Brad came down last night and spent several hours with Sean as they watched a movie, "Flight Plan". When they left, Sean made us laugh, as he spelled "The movie was quite good considering it was a parental guideance-13." He spelled that out and then laughed, because he spelled it out. He likes to display his spelling skills to me as he chooses really long words. I am getting used to his "Roll Talk" voice and pattern of speech. It is so formal.

It was nice having Sean's Dad and family there, because it gave Bob and I a little time to go wander around Northpark and stretch our legs a little bit. I know that Bob hates window shopping as much as he hates shopping, it is a real act of love when he goes with me.

Sean was really pleasantly tired yesterday evening as I got him into bed. Today he is looking forward to a visit from big brother, Ben and his family. bob is going to take the opportunity and go catch up on a few things at his shop.

I am going to make homemade lasagna this afternoon. We stopped at Jimmy's Grocery, a truly Italian neighborhood market yesterday on the way home from the eye doctors and got some apinach and veal cannolini with vodka marinara to augment our meal today. I also found spumoni ice cream hand made at an ice creamery in Plano, Texas. No there is no Italian in my lineage, but Sean loves Italian and Mexican food, so today will be his treat!

Enjoy your Sunday, and
Thank you for caring!
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, February 24, 2006 8:23 PM CST

Sean had an appointment with his hand surgeon first thing this morning. I followed the van over to BIR, and then Sean and I walked across the street to Dr. Ellis office in Wadley Tower on the Baylor Campus.

Sean is going to have the intrinisics of his left hand released, all except for his index finger, that one works fine. He will also have his thumb on that hand released. Hopefully this will be just enough of a release and not an over correction. The hand is so delicate and the doctor told us countless times that there just were no guarantees. Although we have also discussed this with Dr. Snoots who did Sean's heel chord release, and these two surgeons have conferred and we feel as though it is the best option. Sean is getting better, but he is so limited even with assisting himself with transfers, or grasping a rail to assist himself standing. We both feel that something has to be done to help him.

When Sean got home this afternoon he was very upset with his loaner chair. He just does not like the way it drives, and the seat and back cushion are vinyl and he was soaking wet with sweat.

We still have no word on his chair, and I am seriously considering pursuing the Lemon Law with the manufacturer. Once Sean has his hand surgery next week, I will really tackle this issue.

Well it is Friday night, and I will keep this short. Sean's grandparents, Nanny and PaPaw, are planning on a visit tomorrow morning. Sean is looking forward to seeing them.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, February 23, 2006 8:02 PM CST

Sean texted me today and left me wondering. He spelled, "I have something exciting to tell you." But he would not tell me until he got home. Of course when he arrived, I was after him right away. When we got in the house, he spelled, "I bent my right leg in the pool today and for the first time I took a stride with my right leg!" I was so excited. His body is waking up. Each day there is more and more proof of this.

The back ordered part for his chair came in this morning. John Lopez came to replace the parts on Sean's chair, and once again had no luck. It will drive but it will not come up out of recline. I am very aggravated, not at John, at Invacare. This chair is a poorly designed chair. I wonder if there is a Lemon Law for wheelchairs? They certainly cost as much or more than a car. I am reminded every time that Praxair comes out that the part is under warranty now, but only for a year. This hardly seems right. They have had to replace major parts three times already.

The one good thing was that John also brought a loaner chair, just in case he could not get Sean's working. He delivered that one to Sean at BIR, so even though it is in Sean's words "As slow as Christmas" he can move under his own power and no longer has to depend upon others.

When he came home this afternoon I was looking at this loaner chair and I actually think it is much better made than the chair that Sean has. This chair is called a Permobile. It doesn't appear to have plastic parts and it is so easy to move the arms and legrests out of the way to transfer Sean in and out.

I am going to write a letter to Praxair and ask them to consider taking his TDX chair and trade it in on the Permobile. I am sure they will turn me down, but it won't hurt to ask. I may also call Sean's insurance to see what they have to say about it.

I continued to suffer with a migraine all day. This morning when I got up with Sean, I did not even know if I could make it through the morning until he left. All I have done is lay around today. The only time I was up was while John was here working on Sean's chair.

I had him take it with him to the shop. There is not room at the apartment for two power chairs plus his manual chair. Plus, I told John that there was no sense on having it here until it worked. At least if it was at the shop they might have better luck diagnosing the problem.

Please keep praying for our beautiful boy. I really feel that your prayers are being answered. Not on the time table that Sean would like to see, but evidence of the answer is coming forth each day.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, February 22, 2006 7:49 PM CST

This will be a very brief note tonight. I have had a massive migraine all day, and now I am extremely nauseated. I just got Sean ready to watch TV from bed, so I will lay down until it is time to give him his meds, and then hopefully I will be able to go to bed for the night and wake up fresh in the morning.

Sean's chair is still not fixed. I have asked Praxair to provide us with a loaner chair tomorrow. Don't know if we will have any luck because of Sean's size. His chair is not just a standard issue chair. I told them I want to know a ship date on the controller, which is currently on back order from Invacare. I am not happy. I can not even begin to tell you how aggravated Sean is about having to be pushed around all of the time.

He did tell me that he walked on the Treadmill today suspended from a light gait "type" machine. He was happy with his progress today which is very important.

He was really happy to hear his Dad's voice over the phone last night. Danny and Janice will try to come down to see him this weekend. I know that he is looking forward to that.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, February 21, 2006 8:31 PM CST

Sean did 5 sit-ups today! I cannot believe it. He also was able to bend his right knee while laying on the mat! He needs that movement of his knee to get his right leg going on his own while learning to walk again. He spelled to me tonight, that he finally feels he is making progress. He spelled that his goal is to be out of BIR by June. Big goal, but that is what it takes.

He also spelled to me that it absolutely kills his hip, but he knows that as he gets stronger that pain will go away.

Sean's chair was not repaired today. John Lopez, our tech from Praxair called this morning and said that he would be here after Sean got out of Therapy, he had the parts. Well, to all of our dismay, there were two components ordered and only one part came in. The other component is actually backordered. I called our salesman and told him that I wanted Sean's chair fixed TOMORROW (Wednesday)! So miraculously they found a chair and John will be back tomorrow and get Sean's chair going. I guess the old adage, "The squeaky wheel gets the grease" is true.

I met dear Lois Richardson for lunch in Frisco. She treated me at the Cheesecake Factory. We had a delicious lunch and then shared a sinfully wonderful piece of cheesecake - Swiss Almond Toblerone. You should all try it sometime. As we were leaving there, I bought a piece for Sean, and after dinner when I fed it to him, he spelled, "I am in Heaven!"

Todd, Kori and Joey and all of their belongings made it safely to Prosser, Washington. Todd told me that he was actually sad, but I think it is just his adjustment that he is now out of the service, and he didn't come home to Texas as he had always planned. I do feel, and he does too, that the feeling will pass. I know that he is committed to his family, as he should be. I also know that Todd will make friends there. The good thing is that he knows that he has his friends here as well, and the bond will always be here between them.

Bob is on the mend, and that is good. He was so morose when he was sick. I know that is understandable, but it is good to have him more like himself. He and Sean were laughing and kidding around with each other tonight, as we sat Sean on the side of his bed to take his medicine and to have his teeth brushed.

I will go to sleep tonight with the possibility of a miracle on the horizon.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, February 20, 2006 6:44 PM CST

Praise the Lord!

Sean text messaged me today to let me know that he did two sit ups entirely on his own! He said that he was laying on the mat with his legs hanging off the end, and he sat up! TWICE! Praise the Lord! Sean brain and body continue to heal.

His chair, however, is a different story. There was no loaner to be had, and I am not even sure if the parts got ordered today. The salesman called today and told me that warranty parts are shipped UPS ground, unless the customer paid for special overnight delivery. I told him that I would definitely pay the extra charges. I wanted the chair fixed ASAP. I do not know yet if they even got ordered. Hopefully I will have an answer tomorrow.

Sean has been so good and patient, but he is (in his words) "irate" now because "this is my only form of independence." It hurts me that he is hurting, but not only is he hurting emotionally from this loss, he is hurting physically because he can not make himself comfortable in his manual chair. In fact, he asked if he could lay in his bed until it was time to take his evening meds, because he was achy sitting in his chair.

Bob is finally looking as though he is on the climb back to health. He just arrived home after running to the store to get some cough medicine for Sean, who has developed a really rattly sounding cough. I am hoping that it is short lived and is not what Bob had. He did go over to Big Baylor today for a chest x-ray just to make sure that he is not coming down with pneumonia. I am so paranoid because even though you may look at Sean and think that he is breathing okay, he cannot cough voluntarily. In fact, he cannot even force breath in or out of his lungs when asked to do so. Sean's brain does not tell him to breathe through his mouth if his nose is plugged, so a concern about him catching a respiratory infection is always foremost in my mind. Please help me pray this away.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, February 19, 2006 7:21 PM CST

Bob is back in bed. I am in the living room writing and watching Extreme Home Makeover. I like the "feel good" when I watch it, but Sean is not interested in the same thing I am, so he is in his room watching something else.

His wheelchair didn't get fixed today. His wheelchair tech called and said that the chair that was in the warehouse is a different one than Sean's. He was deeply sorry, but he could not fix Sean's chair today. That meant we had to wrestle him around with his manual chair. It also means that it may be a few days, because Praxair will have to order the replacement parts from Invacare, so it may be a few days that Sean will have to be pushed around. I just hate Sean's loss of independence.

Bob was up for a little while today and we got Sean into the bath so that I could shower him. Now I will just have to shave him before bedtime.

This has been a lazy weekend for all of us. Sean and I managed ot take a nap today too. Sean was worrying this afternoon that he was sleeping too much, but I told him that was just the way it was on a cold, damp weekend. There was nothing wrong with taking advantage of it.

Lois, you are right. This weekend was so boring after the excitement of last weekend. I do hope that all of Sean's friends will make an effort to get together with him soon. I know for a fact that it will happen in March, because Todd will be home. The nice thing about Todd being home that he and Ben will be able to take Sean somewhere together to meet their friends, and maybe Bob and I could spend that time alone together.

Todd and Kori are busy packing. They started today and will finish up and pull out of Mountain Home on Tuesday headed for Prosser, Washington. Sean e-mailed Todd and told him that he wanted his twin to know that if he were better, he would be there beside him helping with the move. Todd called to let him know that he understood. Those bonds of love are strong between them.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Saturday, February 18, 2006 7:36 PM CST

Bob says that he is feeling no better. He has spent most of the day in our bedroom asleep. He did get up to eat dinner. We had "Thanksgiving Dinner in February". Well, it was turkey, dressing, sweet potatoes and cranberry sauce. I like to have a turkey every other month or so. It is a great meal and then there are great leftovers. The only problem with this kind of meal is that Sean can only feed himself the turkey, so I have to help him with the rest. It works out fine, but he hates even this small loss of independence. Oh well, he enjoyed the food so he was decided to be okay with it.

This morning Sean had gone into his bedroom to listen to his iPod tunes with the external speakers his Dad had given to him on his birthday. He called me in there later to take the Roll Talk off of his lap so that he could come back out into the living room. He had been stretched out in his wheelchair. He started to sit the chair up, and it would not go into tilt or recline. I got down behind it and looked at all of the wiring to see if I could see something disconnected. After finding nothing obvious, I placed a call to Praxair. Luckily, our favorite tech was on call, and he came to the apartment fairly quickly. After spending several minutes going over everything he said that the motherboard on the computer in the chair had gone bad. He said that he had a loaner chair that he was going to pick up tomorrow and he will rob the parts to fix Sean's power chair. Even though tomorrow is Sunday, he is going to fix the chair.

In the meantime, I had to get Sean up into his manual chair, which we both hate. At least we have it, so I can't complain too much about it. Sean has absolutely no independence in this manual chair, however, and it is a struggle to move it through the doors of the apartment. Particularly moving to and from his room. He did sit in it to eat lunch this afternoon, and then he and I went into his room to lay in his bed and watch TV, of course we ended up napping for a little bit. But what else can you do on a cold, grey, February day?

Sean is text messaging from his Roll Talk. He says that this chair hurts his butt, however, he is going to tough it out sitting in it until bedtime.

I have the turkey carcass cooking in broth so that I can make some turkey and rice soup tomorrow. Neither Sean nor Bob like it, but I do, so I decided to go ahead and make it.

My sister, Aunt Meri-Jac, called this afternoon and said that it had been -21 degrees up there last night (Wahpaton, North Dakota), but it had warmed up to a whopping 11 degrees this afternoon and the sun was shining brightly. Sean and I were laughing about our weather reports all day, with our weather threatening to drop down to 27 degrees! We don't know really, really cold weather here in Texas. Oh well, it was 85 on Thursday, and who knows, it could be that hot again by the end of next week. That is one good thing about North Texas. If you don't like the weather, just wait a couple of days.

Well, I guess there is nothing really significant to say, so I will close for this Saturday evening.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, February 17, 2006 7:46 PM CST

Yesterday seemed pretty uneventful, but my gosh, after I got Sean into bed, it was crazy. Since he was laying in bed when medicine time came, I pulled him around and propped him up sitting on the edge of the bed with his feet on the floor. This manuever really hurts my back, but since he is now drinking regular liquids I have to make sure that he is sitting up straight to drink. He was able to down his pills and drink with no problems. I had to pull him up in the bed because his feet were off the end of the bed. To accomplish this, I raise the foot of his bed as high as it will go and then I reach under his arms and drag him up to the top of the bed.

Right at that moment he started choking on his saliva and began coughing. I was trying to get the foot of the bed down and get the head of the bed up so that he could cough good and all of the sudden he started panicking because he felt as though he was going to vomit.

I was trying to sit him up on the edge of the bed again and he was coughing and gagging. I feared that he was going to slide off of the bed onto the floor, and I was worrying about him vomiting on his bed. I grabbed a basket that was on a shelf by his bed, poured the contents on the floor and then held it under his chin. I was really getting scared that Sean would vomit the way he had the other day. I knew that Bob was asleep with the bedroom door closed and given the distance we were from that bedroom and because he is so hard of hearing, I knew that I could scream and he would never hear us.

Luckily Sean's coughing spasm finally slowed and I was able to raise the head of his bed and lower him to the bed and then get his feet up onto it. He had me put a cold wash cloth on the back of his neck and on his forehead. All night I worried about him, but he managed to sleep peacefully through the night.

Bob came in still feeling really bad. He was in bed by 7:30 tonight. Hopefully this weekend of rest will help him. I know that he had to be miserable working in his shop as cold as it was today.

Sean is bored as I am watching the Figure Skating competition of the Olympics tonight so he is testing his Roll Talk on words. He spelled Taquitos. It pronounced it Talk-quit-ohs. He laughs as it says something funny. Then he tries to figure out how to spell a word so that it says it the way it is supposed to sound. He told me that he is "testing it's limitations".

Sean was supposed to go to a survivor day camp tomorrow but because the weather is going to be cold and it may be damp, he has decided that he would rather stay at home. Since Bob is sick, the three of us will have a lazy weekend. I called Ben to tell him that he should postpone their weekend visit, and he told me that Cheryl and Calem have both been sick. Since Cheryl does not get paid if she does not work, he stayed home with Calem on Thursday because he had a fever and could not go to day care. Ben's company allows them to use sick leave for their kids, which is a great benefit.

I hope all of you will stay warm this weekend!

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, February 16, 2006 7:00 PM CST

Bob came in tonight, very, very ill. I fixed his dinner and he is in the shower now and then will be going to bed right away.

Knowing that he was sick, I took shampoo, bath gel and deoderant to BIR, and met Sean right after swimming and gave him a shower. Bob has been so sick that I didn't want to interfere with him going straight to bed and I thought it would be best to keep him as far from us as possible so that his germs wouldn't be lingering in the air.

Sean had speech therapy the last half hour of his day, so I sat in the lobby and read while he met his speech therapists, Jenn. The two of them sat out on the second floor patio because the weather has been absolutely beautiful today. We had a record high for this date of 85 degrees. Sean and I rolled/walked home after therapy to take advantage of the day.

Kathy, Sean's PT, said that he was really tired today. I suspected it, because he woke up really early this morning. He was awake at 5:30 and by 6:15, he had the TV on.

I have just gotten him into bed. Sean decided this was a lazy night and he would just watch TV from his bed.

I don't think I had written that I finally picked some fabric out and have gotten the headboard upholstered. I used a twin size quilted coverlet and padded it with polyester batting. It looks pretty good, and works with his bed. His bed is one of those adjustable temperpedic beds. Because of the way it raises up and down there is really no way to have a regular headboard or frame on the bed.

My good friend, Sarah Thiltgen is in Torino at the Olympics. I keep watching to see if I can pick her out of a crowd. I know that she is with the group that sponsored Chad Headrick, but I have not seen her yet. It would just be so much fun if I got to see her.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, February 15, 2006 7:47 PM CST

Sean and I are watching American Idol, then we will switch back to the Olympics. Bob has worked all day, but after working a little later than normal, he came in, ate dinner and went right to bed. He looks and sounds as though he feels miserable. Hopefully, he won't pass the germs on to me or to Sean.

Sean has been very tired this afternoon. He has not even bothered to go to the computer today and he took a nap when he got in from Therapy.

He was so funny this afternoon when I asked him how Therapy was and if he did anything special. His answer? He told me that he did "nothing significant". Yet later during dinner, he spelled to me that he sits at the table in a regular chair to eat lunch! I told him that was a really big deal. Later he had his Roll Talk tell me that he did not think it was significant because he is supposed to sit at a table to eat.

He also told me that he is hoping that his eyes have not changed again, because he is really having a difficult time seeing the computer screen. This concerns me because we just had his eyes examined and new perscriptions made a couple of months ago.

Jama, Sean does not mind you reminding him that he needs to be positive. He knows that he needs to be, it has just been difficult lately. Today he does seem to be in better spirits.

Well, Sean is ready for bed, so I will close for this evening.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, February 14, 2006 8:51 PM CST

I baked two cakes for the staff and patients of Day Neuro for Valentine's Day and dropped them off this morning. When I walked in, Sean was using his Roll Talk to talk to his PT, Kathy. She told me that he had his best walking session this morning. Sean smilingly agreed. She told me that they are working on walking faster, that makes the walk more normal. I miss not getting to drop in and watch sessions, but I think that this is better for him. He has total independence without me at his side. He is always so sweet when I come in and then leave, reaching up for a hug before I go.

In the morning after he rolls up into the van, he has a special phrase button, "Bye, I love you" he says. His driver, Vernard, always makes sure that he hits it a couple of times. I peer through the window of the door after I close it, and we wave to each other and I blow him a kiss and Sean makes every effort to plant a kiss on his fist and blow it at me as well.

I have been trying to find a fabric to upholster a headboard for Sean's room, but have had no luck. Each day I go out for a couple of hours on my search, but have not found "the one". I wish I had his other mother, Janice's eye for decorating and I might be able to look in an entirely different direction. Oh well, I will muddle on.

Bob came home feeling bad yesterday evening and tonight he is much worse. Neither he nor I had a flu shot this year and his symptoms seem very "flu like" to me. He went to bed right after he helped me get Sean in and out of the shower. I am not surprised that he is sick, because Saturday when it was so cold, he did not wear a coat and he loaded and unloaded Sean's chair several times. He would tell me that "I just need to think warm thoughts", but I know that is what contributed to his coming down with something.

Todd has completely finished his work commitment for the United States Air Force. Although he is not officially released from duty until the first of April, he has accumulated enough leave time that he worked his last day on Friday. He and Kori will start packing their house up. Her parents and Granny are coming to Mountain Home this weekend and will help them load up a rental truck with all of their belongings. They will then move out on Tuesday and head for their new life in Prosser, Washington. Todd will probably be going to work at the Hanford Nuclear Arms Plant located in Hanford, Washington. He is hoping for a training class to begin in May.

Todd is going to fly down to Daytona, Fla. March 6, and meet Justin Boren. Justin is going to a big motorcycle rally out there. A friends Mom is going to drive Justin's truck out there, and Todd is planning on riding back to Texas with her as she follows Justin and his gang on their motorcycles. (I think I have that scenario correct). Kori and Joey will come down closer to the end of March. Todd will be in Shane Benson's wedding on April 1, and the three of them will be going home to Washington to start their civilian life shortly after that.

I think it will be much harder for us all when Todd comes and leaves again this time, because we have always imagined him coming home to Texas when he gets out of the USAF. However, I think that Prosser will be a great place for Joey to grow up. And being an Air Force brat myself, I am confident that Todd and Kori can create a happy life together where ever they are.

It makes me happy to be able to write that Sean is in much happier spirits today.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, February 13, 2006 8:57 PM CST

Hopefully the love that surrounded Sean on Saturday will continue to lighten the clouds that dogged him all of last week. This morning he told me that "It's weird, but I keep having those feelings of suicide but I have been able to push them away." Last week he was unable to do that.

I told him that those feelings were the devil's way of trying to grasp his soul, but he was showing strength in being able to push them away. He has been waging a war with his personal demons. Because Sean looks so good, and because he can often times communicate through his Roll Talk and his sense of humor shines, people do not realize that he is still suffering.

Those of us who are with Sean often, however, can see the times that he just cannot cope with his emotions. Please do not ask Sean to understand your point of view. Sean is still trying to understand why this horrible thing has happened to him. He is not ready to accept that "God has a plan for him". All he knows is that he can do nothing, absolutely nothing without someone helping him.

But, today was a happier day. As I said, the love that surrounded him on Saturday is still with him, covering him like a blanket just out of the dryer, warm and soft.

My prayer for my son is that he continues to reach for that love, even when he feels so far removed from it.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, February 12, 2006 11:24 AM CST

Wow! I love having this website to share with all of you who cannot live beside us day by day. However sometimes I totally am infuriated by it as I typed my entire journal entry for the day and then deleted it~!

Oh well, here I try again. I am so happy to report that we had a wonderful event on behalf of Sean. The voices of the performers were outstanding. Even Simon Cowell would have sent our "American Idols" on to Hollywood. The musical choices were inspiring.

Sean and I have so many people to thank. It has to begin with Lois Richardson who conceived this idea months ago, and the entire fellowship of Trinity Lutheran Church who have been ever supportive, even procuring the promise of up to a $5,000 matching grant from Thrivent Financial. At this time we do not have any idea of the total amount of contributions, but we do know that well over the $5,000 was achieved after the generous contribution of one man. I do not know if he wants me to name him, but we all know this man who traveled up from outside of Waco nearly every Saturday that Sean was in BIR and came several times to the Ranch in Anna. We will be ever indebted to him.

We had received a generous gift from my very dear friend, Sarah Thiltgen, and her husband Roger, in a donation of a 3 day 2 night stay for four, with four rounds of golf, at Tanglewood on Texoma, to be used as a raffle item. Kathy Bell won that and then was kind enough to donate it back to be used at auction. As the highest bidder, Patty Riddel walked away with that prize. Thank you Patty and all of you who bid on that, particularly Kathy Bell for being so generous.

Monette Wible, thank you for your participation and efforts as co-chair of the event, and Linda Barrett, thank you for coordinating all of the talent. New Father, Pastor Craig, I will pray your "Prayer of Healing" over Sean, hoping to achieve some of the grace that you inspired as you first prayed it over Sean.

Teri Geen, a former co-worker at EmCare, and her husband Don, and daughter, Jacqueline, drove up from Arlington to share fellowship in the event and had brought donations from numerous former co-workers of mine. Cousin Eryn, and her husband Randy Witt had flown in Saturday morning from Minneapolis and are already home again this morning. Susie Cripps, Lois' daughter flew in from Jacksonville, Florida, to sing.

Gaylon Riddel and Kevin Krier, we could not have picked any better Masters of Ceremony. Gaylon was so calm and polished. I can see him litigating in front of a jury, persuading them to vote in agreement with his case. Gaylon is attending Law School at Texas Weslean College.

The Band of Brothers were represented by Justin Boren and Jeremy Poet, who have both been steadfast in their support of Sean throughout this entire journey of Hope. And the presence of the "Sisterhood" of the Brothers, Jessica Boren, Katie Hladik and Jenni Wolff, always with us.

Nanny and PaPaw, always present. I know they suffer withdrawal from their weekly visits with Sean throughout this ordeal. But Sean is confident in their love for him and he knows that he will see them soon. He was so happy to share this event with them.

Sharon Roberts, Lois other daughter, and my dear friend, thank you for your continual prayers and all that you have done to hold me up during these long months.

My brother, "Uncle Rick", always here in time of need. You are the one who brought forth Sean's first smile as he struggled to swim through the murky waters of his coma. Big Brother, Ben, who watches over Sean like a mother hen, trying to care for his "little" brother. His heart is still breaking watching the struggles Sean goes through each day.

Last week had been an extremely emotional week for Sean. As you may guess, there are times that Sean struggles with despair. I can only tell you that he felt the love in the church, yesterday. The sanctuary was full and the caring within those walls moved away the clouds hanging heavy on his heart.

Todd, Kori and Joey, we missed you, but we know that you will all be home for a good long visit, soon.

After the benefit, a large group of us went out to eat together, and Sean enjoyed himself so much. We did not get home until after 10:30. Bob, Sean and I were exhausted by the time we crawled into bed last night. But it was a pleasant exhaustion.

To all of you, Sean's "Army of Angels", who have continually lifted up my Beautiful Boy, in prayer and thought, I give thanks. I know that with the continuous barrage of prayer, the Lord has reached down and touched Sean and continues to watch over him.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, February 10, 2006 7:17 PM CST

Sean and I are watching opening ceremonies of the Olympics. He is text messaging friends to see if they will come to his benefit on Saturday. I hope that there is a good turnout, not for the financial gain, but because Sean needs to see that people are still supporting him. He has had to learn to take rejection from a lot of people and it has been so hard for him. Girls have been especially cruel. I do not think it is intentional, but he has had a lot of promises made to him about intended visits and then he never hears from them again. Sean is an adult, and he understands that things come up in peoples lives, but he does not understand why someone would say something to him and then just drop out of his life. This has perhaps been one of the hardest things he has had to deal with.

Right now he is happy, though. He is carrying on several text message conversations with several of his friends. Young people are so witty. When Sean types his Roll Talk reads the messages, and then when he receives them it reads them to him, so I get to listen to all of them.

Sean and I walked home again this afternoon. We got here before the weather got really, really cold. I think getting outside in the afternoon has to help Sean's attitude, and I know it is good for me to walk both ways.

We are crossing our fingers that cousin Eryn and her hsuband, Randy, are going to make it tonight. Eryn works for Masaba Airlines a division of Northwest. They are flying out of Minneapolis, standby, and the flights on Friday night are all full. We will cross our fingers that they can get out on the morning. That plane had 20 open seats when Eryn checked earlier today so maybe they will make that one.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, February 9, 2006 9:08 PM CST

Sean woke up again this morning in a very down mood. He and I have not been having the best time communicating. I think all mothers and sons go through times like this, and I know we will get through it.

Sean left for BIR and sometime during the morning I had a text message from him that said that he had talked to the neuropsychologist, Dr. Frohl, and he felt better now. I was so happy to hear that.

I had to walk over to BIR this afternoon because Sean had an appointment with the hand surgeon at 4 p.m., across the street in the Wadley Tower. When I arrived at Day Neuro, Sean was coming out with his PT, Kathy, and he had a big smile on his face. That smile stayed on his face the rest of the day.

We walked through the tunnel under Gaston Avenue to avoid the traffic, and rode up to the 4th floor to see Dr. Ellis. After discussion and another hand exam, we agreed that Sean would benefit from surgery to his left little finger and the intrinsic muscles of both thumbs. The surgery is tentatively scheduled for February 28. Sean wanted to discuss it with Kathy on Friday and I will then call and confirm with Dr. Ellis' office.

The weather was still really nice and we were enjoying our walk home. Sean was feeling a little cocky and decided to do some "off roading" and almost flipped his chair over. He scared himself and me to death, as his chair rolled off of a curb and slid into a hole. Luckily we were in a little garden and a man was sitting talking on his cell phone. He jumped up and helped me pull Sean's chair out of the hole and back up onto the sidewalk.

I am happy to report that neither the chair, nor Sean, were any the worse for wear and he was willing to roll at a more sedate pace home. Arriving at the house, Sean shared with me some of his conversations with Dr. Frohl.

I am also happy to report that Sean was in a much better mood as I tucked him into bed tonight. I can hear him in his room, channel surfing. It feels so good to know that if he has to be somewhere for someone to take care of him, he is here at home with Bob and I.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, February 8, 2006 9:18 PM CST

Today is Hump Day. Sean and I had a meeting at BIR to review their evaluations of Sean and to give us his preliminary discharge date. Right now they have given him 20 weeks, or until June 16, but they all agreed that he will be there longer. The insurance companies require a plan and a date and if progress is being made, they will consider giving more time. We are happy with the outcome of this meeting.

Since our meeting was at 2:30, we were too late for the bus, but the day was beautiful so Sean and I walked home together. I think that the sunlight did him good. He really is not out much and because of his late nights this week and just being inside all of the time, he was in a kind of off mood. His therapists told me that he had not seemed in a very happy mood since lunch.

I could tell as we walked home that he was being introspective. Arriving at home, he told me that he had "Had a Bad Day." He said that he was thinking about how far he has to go and how long it is going to take him. He said "Years". We talked about it for a while and then while I was cooking dinner, he got on the internet.

Ben, Cheryl and Callem came over for dinner and afterwards Cheryl cut Sean's hair. He wanted it shorter so that he could wear it styled more like he used to wear it right before the wreck. He and I were laughing over some of Callem's antics and by the time they left and Sean had his shower he seemed in a much better mood.

Sean and I have always been so much alike when we are tired. We both tend to have rotten attitudes when we are over tired. That is what I attribute part of his bad mood too.

Well, it is soon bedtime for me, so I will sign off for now.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, February 7, 2006 10:05 PM CST

Tonight was our dinner at El Chico. There was a great turnout and as we were leaving, the manager told Lois that the restaurant was just going to donate 19 percent of the entire nights receipts, instead of just the tables that said that they were there for him. That is so generous.

Sean and I left BIR just after 3 p.m. and had smooth sailing all of the way to Sherman. We had time to go by our bank and arrived at El Chico at the same time that Jessica and Haylee Boren and Lois Richardson did. As we stood outside visiting for a minute, Nanny and PaPaw pulled up, and then Ron Richardson arrived.

As we walked inside, more people started coming. Sean and I were overwhelmed by the number of people who showed up. Danny and brother Brad came and brought Sean's other grandmother, Joanne Harrell arrived. Several of the teachers from S & S High School, where the boys attended through middle and high school, came to dinner. The Yost's, Coach Kemp, Jackie Stoolfire, Warren Maher and his wife Stephanie and their children Wyatt and Jolie. A large group from Trinity Lutheran Church there. One of the professors from Southeastern State University in Durant and some of her class attended. Ben and Monette Wible, Sharon Roberts, Sharon Boren, Katie and Jeremy, and Justin Boren were there. I was also really happy to see and have a few minutes to visit with Shirley Case. There may have been others, that I just didn't realize were there. Forgive me if I neglected to mention you.

On the way home Sean spelled to me on his Roll Talk "That was fun!". He really did enjoy himself. When we first arrived he told me that he was very nervous. He was worried about eating in front of people. I tried to encourage him that he should be so proud of himself for his ability to feed himself now. He stopped me and spelled. "I will never be satisfied until I am walking again."

I've told you about Sean's doorbell haven't I? Sean has a doorbell that he can ring to get my attention. He was sitting between his Dad and Brad at dinner, I was at a table behind them, with my friends. Sean would decide that he needed something and I got so tired of getting up, I threatened (jokingly) to go outside if he rang it for me again. I told him that his Dad was sitting right next to him and they could figure out things together. He laughed, and I was able to enjoy the evening, too.

To all of you who attended, and all of those who were there in spirit even though you were unable to be due to circumstances or distance, Sean and I are grateful to you.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, February 6, 2006 8:21 PM CST

Sean has had his shower and is now in bed. He told me that he had a really good day, but I know that he was tired out when he got home.

I had met him up at BIR this afternoon so that we could go down to Dr. Thomas's office. He had to have an adjustment made to his Baclofen Pump dosing schedule. We have been having a really hard time getting him into the bath in the evenings. His legs are so stiff, that I can almost not get his right one bent. It is so stiff that it presses his foot on the front of the tub and it hurts him terribly. I have to put my arm under his knee and push and push down on his shin so that I can make it bend. Some nights it takes everything I have to be able to do it.

Dr. Thomas increased all of his dosages by 10 percent, but the one at 4 pm, he bumped up by 30%. Hopefully that will help.

Sean is really looking forward to our little jaunt up to Sherman Tuesday evening for dinner at El Chico's. He has been text messaging his friends trying to get him to meet him up there tomorrow night. I hope that we have a good turnout.

He is also hoping that Brian Wible and Kevin can get a group of their friends to go out after the Benefit on Saturday evening.

Todd is winding up his last week of work in the Air Force. He goes out officially on leave on February 21, and he and Kori will pack up their house in Mountain Home, Idaho and head home to Washington State. A new chapter in his life will start. This will be a new chapter for Sean, Ben and I as well. We have always held out hope that Todd would be returning to Texas to live, but we totally support him in his decision to make a home with Kori and Joey, in Kori's home town. Besides, now we will have a wonderful vacation destination.

I hope we see you soon!

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, February 5, 2006 10:40 PM CST

Just a short note for tonight. Sean and I drove up to Frisco, picked up Jenni Wolff and her sister Stephanie, and Mom, Debbie and then drove on up to Sherman. It is such a sad time to share the loss of a young life. We are all glad for the privilege of being there for a few moments to let the family know that we care.

We stopped briefly at Brian Wible's house and he and his family came out to see Sean in the truck. We were also pleasantly surprised to see Rory Horn, who had driven in to attend the funeral tomorrow. Rory is in the Army, I feel bad, I cannot remember where he is stationed, but I know that he had a long drive back. He too was compelled to be here for the family.

Sean was a trooper. We didn't get back home until almost 9, and he was tired and hungry. He had not eaten since lunch time. I quickly made him some dinner, fed him and then got him ready for bed. He was already asleep as I was turning off the light in his room.

Ben, Cheryl, Shaya and Calem came today. Ben had brought Sean some gel that Sean wanted for his hair. Cheryl is going to come back Wednesday evening and give him another haircut. Ben thinks that his hair is too long, so she is going to spiff him up.

Cheryl, Shaya and I, made a Target run and left the "guys" at home together. It was fun getting out with them and Sean enjoyed the guy talk while we were gone.

Tomorrow Sean has an appointment with Dr. Thomas for a Baclofen Pump check. Since Dr. T., is right there at BIR, it will just be a quick trip down to his office, so Sean won't miss much therapy.

We are looking forward to our trip back to Sherman Tuesday for dinner at El Chico's with friends. If you have time and are hungry for Mexican food, please consider stopping by.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Saturday, February 4, 2006 7:14 PM CST

Sean, Bob and I had an adventure today. I needed to go to the grocery store and Sean has been asking me if he could go. The weather was beautiful today so the three of us headed out to Super Target. Sean got such a kick going up and down the aisles, looking at the electronic stuff, kidding with Bob about things that they would see on the shelves. Oh my gosh, it was so funny when Sean got to the food aisles!

Remember, he has not been in a store since sometime before March 27, 5005. That is soon to be one year ago. He picked out some of the craziest stuff to eat. He selected pickled hot asparagus, peanut butter pretzels, raspberry wine salsa, feta cheese and salmon rollups, and a loaf of sourdough bread! In addition he picked out calzones and southwest egg rolls, spinach and artichoke dip, and more that I can't even remember. He wants a feast on Super Bowl Sunday.

Sean and I are going to pick up Jenni and Debbie Wolff tomorrow afternoon at their home in Frisco and drive up to Sherman together for visitation at the funeral home.

Our hearts are heavy for the grieving we know our friends are suffering.

Please pray for them,

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, February 3, 2006 7:22 PM CST

Dallas woke up to rain this morning, but Sean and I didn't have to really worry about it. When it was time to go meet the van, I covered him with a poncho that extends over his wheelchair. We went through our parking garage and came out on Live Oak Street right by the office. The apartments above the office extend over it and make a completely covered driveway, so we just zipped around and waited out of the rain. It was so nice not to have to worry about having the rain drench him as he got loaded up into the van. BIR has a covered drive, so he was dry at the unloading end as well.

I had a meeting up there at 10. When I got into the Therapy Room, Sean was standing up in the standing frame and he was so nice and straight, and Tall! He looks even taller since he is more slender now and because his AFO's inside his tennis shoes seem to make him taller.

Sean looked so happy. He has Speech, OT and PT all at the same time, co-treating him. Everyone is always so positive and upbeat and Sean comes home every day in the best mood. He always greets me with a great big smile when the door opens on the bus.

I am so thankful that Sean is here with us. My life of flying out to another city every week seems like such a distant memory. I do get lonely while Sean is at Therapy, but I am getting used to being home.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, February 2, 2006 9:22 PM CST

Sean is in bed. Bob is reading, and I sit in front of the TV watching ER and updating the journal. James Woods is portraying a patient with ALS, Lou Gehrigs disease. The interesting thing about the story is that he is in a chair like Sean's and he has an assistive communication device that is very similar to the one that Sean is using. In fact, they don't show it closely but it really sounds like "Sean's voice".

I have spent the entire day rounding up the information required for a meeting that Sean and I have tomorrow at BIR. I also was able to e-file my income tax return, so that is one more thing that I have accomplished today.

Sean's W-2's have come today so hopefully we can get his return filed over the weekend.

We were very saddened to hear that one of Sean and Todd's schoolmates at S&S High School committed suicide. I really have no information and this is not information that would not be in our place to share. Our hearts are heavy for his family. Please include them in your thoughts and prayers.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, February 1, 2006 7:42 PM CST

Sean and I are watching the American Idol tryouts, and having a good time laughing at the kids from Austin. Bob cannot stand to watch it, so he has run back to the shop to try to find a book to read. He cannot stand to watch Simon Cowell, and that is really why Sean and I watch.

I went to the pool at BIR and watched Sean walking. I actually took some video and some pictures of him in the pool. Sean walks leaning on the shoulders of his two aquatics PT's, Libby and Lorraine. Kathie, his other PT came down and told me that Sean hah her for PT, OT, and Speech Therapy all at the same time. They had him sitting on a huge exercise ball. They make the ball bounce and with them holding onto Sean, he has to try to balance on it. At the same time they were making him "phonate", I call it "yelling". They tell him jokes and funny stories, trying to make him laugh, which helps him force his breath out with noise.

I have had to have all of Sean's prescriptions transferred down to a pharmacy near us. Today I had to pick up a couple of the perscriptions and got home and realized that one was not filled with the right doseage. It is not really a problem that can't be corrected tomorrow, but it is a reminder that I will always have to be diligent and not assume that things are the way they should be. The tough thing about Sean's perscriptions is that they are not all refilled on the same date. His insurance only allows us to get 21 days worth at a time and they are all due on different dates.

Kevin Krier called today. He told me that he was talking to a girl at his college who told him that her sorority (sp?) might consider donating to Sean's Medical Fund. I sent him the information that Eryn had written up for the donation drive being done for Sean in Fargo, North Dakota.

Todd and I were talking about Sean's website, this afternoon. It will soon go over 75,000 hits. I was just guessing the number of days since Sean had his accident, remembering that we didn't not start writing on day 1. I will have to actually count the days tomorrow, but putting the total number of days at about 305, would mean that his website was looked at about 245 times a day. I contend that for every hit on the site, there was probably at least another thought about him that was just someone, not at a computer, who just happened to think about Sean. I know a lot of people who no matter how many times they ask me for the link to the website, tell me later that they still haven't read it, but they think about Sean often.

So again today, I thank you, Sean's Army of Angels, for all of your thoughts and prayers. And once again, I am humbled and truly, truly grateful.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, January 31, 2006 8:01 PM CST

Sean passed his swallowing test today! He no longer has to drink thickened liquids. What a huge milestone. As soon as he got to BIR today, his speech therapist, Jennifer, took him across the street to Big Baylor for this procedure. When he returned he had his PT, Kathie, call me to tell me the wonderful news. No longer do we have to make special preparations at meal times, or whenever he wants a drink! Tonight I told Sean, as we prayed, that this was just another example of how the Lord was showing him that he was continuing to heal his body and his brain.

Sean still has to concentrate when he is drinking so that he swallows fast to prevent his aspirating fluids into his airway. He agreed that he probably should drink only water for a while until he really gets the hang of swallowing liquids again. This is such a huge improvement for Sean's quality of living. He no longer has to be different then others. He can just have a drink when he is thirsty, without all the measuring and mixing.

Sean went bowling today! Once a month, the patients in the Day Neuro Program go on an outing. Sean text messaged me and told me that he was going. He also texted "and I don't want to go". And then he sent, "I'm going to miss swimming. Boo Hoo!" I was laughing to myself as I read each of his messages.

When he got home this afternoon he had a huge smile on his face. I had to hear all about his bowling experience. He let me know that he didn't like to bowl before his TBI, so he didn't know why anyone would think he would like it after the TBI. He spelled to me, and roll talk, talked. "I bowled with this contraption and had to aim the ball." I asked him what his score was, "112" he spelled, and then added "And I beat everyone else!" He was quite proud of himself.

He took a little nap when he came in and then our wheelchair repairman, John Lopez, came to work on Sean's power chair. Sean always gets a kick out of John. He is such a good hearted young man who really considers the needs of his patients. Since it was dinner time, he sat down and ate with us and then worked on the chair while Bob and I took Sean into the shower.

Sean is now in bed, watching TV. Of course he is not watching the President's State of the Union Address, as I am. But that's ok, he is home! And he is watching what he wants to, lying in his own bed, in his own room!

Hallelujah, God is good!

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, January 30, 2006 7:26 PM CST

Come dine with Sean at El Chico's in Sherman, Tuesday night, February 7. 10 percent of your ticket will be donated to Thrivent for Sean's benefit. Weather permitting (and if it continues as it has all winter) Sean and I will be there from 5-7 next Tuesday evening.

Sean had an appointment with Dr. Snoots this morning that left us both a little sad, but made Sean more determined than ever. Dr. Snoots was talking about the goals that Sean needed to set for himself especially regarding what he wanted to be able to do with his hands. Sean said that he wanted to write, but Dr. Snoots told him that he needed to begin to think about goals like pulling a shirt over his head, or when he thought of walking, to start thinking about it in terms of walking to his wheelchair, or from his chair to the toilet. He told him that longterm, he should think about using the technological wonders that he currently had, his power wheelchair, his Roll Talk, and to set smaller physical goals for himself.

Sean told me that he will use the information, but it has made him more determined to prove Dr. Snoots wrong.

Sean started Aquatics today and was so excited this evening when he remembered to tell me that when he was stood up in the pool, he was able to advance his right leg by himself. He just crowed with delight when he told me. And then he spelled that he actually was lifting his left leg up too high. The water is helping to make him so bouyant that he has movement that he was unable to do on land. His old aquatics coach (from his previous stay at BIR), Lorraine, worked with him for a half hour and then his PT that he has now, Kathie, worked with him in the pool for another half an hour. This gave him a solid hour of pool therapy.

This evening as I got Sean ready for bed, I could tell that he was tired from his day. He called me back into his bedroom and told me that he has been thinking about suicide a lot lately. I told him that he needed to think about the patients that he has met. Although Sean has the most debilitating deficits, he has his mind, or as Dr. Snoots told him, he has his "thinker". I reminded him that he needed to think about what Marvin Brock, the preacher who used to visit him at BIR and Baylor Specialty, would tell him. He would say, "Think about yourself the way you want to be, not about the way you are. Visualize yourself as that man who gets up and walks. And you will!"

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, January 29, 2006 12:08 AM CST

Finally, Sean's closet and room are now organized and he can comfortably have company visit. I don't know why, but I was totally blocked in my ability to get this task done. Bob got me started by moving a couple of boxes moved out of my way, and I got started. By the end of the day, the room was all straightened up. I feel like a load is off of my chest.

Sean woke up with his usual smiling face. He and I got up and let Bob sleep for an extra hour. Sunday's usually mean that Ben and Cheryl are coming over, but this is their only day off together on the weekend, and they decided that they has some things that they just had to get done today. They will wait until later in the week to come by. Now that Sean is at home, it is easy for them to come over after they get off work.

Today is going to be a beautiful day. The sun is shining, and it is supposed to be up to 70 degrees. I have put a pork loin out on the smoker, so later this afternoon we will enjoy a bar-b-qued meal.

We hope that all of you are enjoying your Sunday!

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Saturday, January 28, 2006 8:21 AM CST

Sean and Bob are sleeping and I am taking this quiet time to write and let you know that all was well yesterday. I talked to a couple of friends by phone yesterday, and by the late afternoon when Sean got home the cloud that had settled on my soul had lifted.

Bob and I are planning on doing a little "house cleaning" today. The rains finally started during the night and are supposed to last most of the day. It will be a good day to just stay inside and be together. The weather this morning finally feels like winter. Those of you reading from Texas, though, know how it is, if you don't like the weather today just wait. It will change tomorrow.

Sometime over the weekend, Ben and his family will be here. Little Calem is always entertaining. Sean loves to watch him run around pretending to be a dinosaur. Hopefully there will be time this weekend to get on-line with Todd and see if Joey has grown since last weekend.

My prayer for all of you who read this is that you will have a wonderful weekend with family and friends. Most of all, I hope that you give and recieve "Love". That is truly all that matters.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, January 27, 2006 8:57 AM CST

Wow, I get to say it. We have had an uneventful morning! I didn't drop Sean and he didn't get sick on me! The bus however is running late. The driver had to stop to fill it up with gas. I think they also said that he ran into traffic on Hwy 75, which as we all know, can happen. Anyway, Sean and I are waiting for our call that they are just around the corner. In the meantime, I will update you.

Sean came in yesterday and was not talkative at all. I think that he was just worn out. He never really told me, however, he did say he had a good day. I had run his lunch up to him and found him in PT on the mat. He was laying on his stomach with his elbows underneath him. They were helping him do 5 pushups in this position. He told me last night that he does not really have any strength to push up on his right arm, but I feel certain the more they work with him, it will come.

Aquatics does not start until Tuesday, but Sean has been very busy. Sean and I have a meeting this morning with a representative from D.A.R.S. (disability and rehab services) to see if we possibly quailify for any aide. Hopefully, there will be help for something. Although Danny's insurance has been so good to pay for hospital and doctor visits, there are so many incidental things. From the expense of bathroom equipment, to the thickener that must be put in Sean's liquids each time he has a drink. Perhaps as time goes on, if there was some financial assistance for additional care givers, I could think about going to work again. Right now, even though he goes to Day Neuro Monday through Friday, I feel that the entire time he is gone, I am busy trying to make things easier for both of us when he is home.

I have to admit though, there are times when I just shut down when I am alone. The future, although so much brighter than it has been, still seems as though it is out of my control and I feel so helpless. Yesterdays incident weighs heavy on my heart. But as Sean and I frequently tell each other. We will go forward, "we have no choice"!

Tonye Shirye's note about her Dad's recovery made me realize again that we are not the only ones in this world who suffer from great tragedy. And that laughter really does help us all. Bob and I talk each evening about how much stronger Sean is getting.

This morning, Sean fed himself his entire breakfast. That always helps me, because I am free to straighten up or just get myself ready for the day.

Sean is always restless at night, waking me up frequently to reposition him. For some reason his right ankle hurts a great deal during the night. He wakes me to make me put pillows beside it, or to put his sock and splint back on, or to take his splint off. In the morning, I always tease him because the minute I fix his ache, he is asleep, but I am always left to work at getting back to sleep myself.

I may sound sometimes like I am complaining. Believe me, nothing is further from the truth. I am just writing about a day in our lives, and the feelings I have at the moment.

Thank you all for reading, and especially for those of you who write. Sean and I both enjoy so much reading entries in his guestbook.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, January 26, 2006 9:07 AM CST

Dinner at El Chico's in Sherman
Tuesday evening, February 7. Come join Sean for dinner. Weather permitting Sean and I will drive up to attend. If you come to dinner at El Chico's Friday night, 10 percent of the price of your meal will go towards Sean's benefit "For the Love of Sean".

We would be happy and honored to see you there. I say weather permitting because if it is raining hard, it would be too difficult to get Sean's wheelchair unloaded from the truck and him into it.

I will be so happy to report that our morning was uneventful. This morning was another scare. As I was getting Sean transferred into his wheelchair, his pants caught the joystick. I had forgotten to turn the chair off, which is a definite no, no. Well his pants caught the joystick and as I sat him down his pants caught it, and the weight of his body spun the chair around and as it did Sean slipped off onto the floor.

We were so lucky because his bed is on wheels and it moved over so that Sean slipped right between it and the floor. Had it not, he might have wound up with broken bones as the chair would have continued to move! Once again I called Bob and he rushed right home. We rolled Sean over onto a quilt and then together drug him up onto the bed. We sat him up and once again we moved him into his chair.

As I fixed Sean's breakfast, he spelled to me. "Oh well, no one was hurt so everything is ok" Then he spelled to me, "Everyday I praise the Lord that I have you in my life". My son is such a beautiful soul!

Sean had a full day yesterday. He will start Aquatics on Monday and is very excited. He has often said that now that his feet are fixed he really feels that Aquatics will help him more than anything.

Yesterday I recieved a call from a nurse at Unitedhealth. I had to explain Sean's condition in full so that she would understand all of his physical impairments. She asked me how I was holding up. I told her that I was fine. I am, but, please pray for Sean that he survives my caregiving!

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, January 25, 2006 12:20 AM CST

Today started out to be such an exciting day, but it turned scary in one instant. This morning while I was getting Sean dressed for the day he showed me that he can actually raise his left foot off of the bed about 6 inches and move his foot to the left like a scissors kick. He told me that he has been able to do it since Friday but he didn't think to tell me. While we were marveling over that, he all of the sudden raised his right foot off the bed. We were both so excited. We celebrate every new movement together.

I got him up into his wheelchair and he was feeding himself a toaster struedel and some bacon strips. At the second to the last bite, Sean aspirated the bite of streudel and he started choking. He could not get any air, and he was panicing, so tnat naturally I started to panic as well. I tried to lift his body forward in his chair and beat on his back. Since he was in his wheelchair and cannot really help because of his hemiplegia, I could not get him into a good position. I was just trying to get him around the waist when he started vomitting. It went on and on, but he finally cleared his airway.

I had to call Bob to run home and help me get Sean into the shower. While waiting for him, I was trying to call and let Baylor know that he would not be ready for the bus and therefore would not be in on time this morning. Bob got home, and we got Sean cleaned up and back in bed for a short rest.

I spent time cleaning up Sean's wheelchair, and then got Sean up again and ready for the day. Luckily the weather is still absolutely beautiful, so we were able to enjoy our walk to BIR. We stopped by Dr. Thomas's office so that he could listen to Sean's lungs to see if he could hear anything to concern him. Since Sean has a difficult time drawing breaths when someone asks him too, Dr. Thomas could not hear anything that sounded like his airway might still have something in it. While we were waiting on Dr. Thomas, Sean entertained Dr. Thomas's nurse with his roll talk. He is so happy to be able to "talk" to people!

When we were finished there, we made our way upstairs and I ran across the street to Big Baylor to buy Sean lunch. We had left this morning without bringing one for him. After dropping off the lunch, I walked on home, and am now making this journal entry.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, January 24, 2006 9:18 AM CST

Sean had a great day yesterday. Rather than loading up the chair, we decided that it would be good for me to walk with Sean as he rolled over to Baylor Rehab. The morning was crisp and cool, but no wind so it was really pleasant walking over there. Sean grinned the entire way, and I felt like a MoM taking her child to his first day of kindergarten.

Sean was warmly greeted, and we spent the first hour and a half in orientation. We then hugged "goodbye" and I walked on home. I then called Praxair and drove on out to Plano and finally bought the transfer chair that we needed to get Sean easily in and out of the bathroom.

When it got close to time for Sean to return home, I just had to go outside and wait for the BIR van to pull up and drop him off.

Sean was very excited when he got home and he told me that he had a "good" day. He said that the only physical activity that he did yesterday was to lie prone on the mat. That position hurts his abdomen, because of the Baclofen Pump, but he said that they were attentive and were quick to help him reposition so that his body weight was not entirely upon it.

The first two weeks of his work at BIR will mainly be for assessment purposes. After that, I will go back for a conference and they will lay out a treatment plan.

Last night, Sean was ready to get in bed right after his dinner and his shower. Bob helped me get Sean into and out of the shower. Although it keeps getting easier, especially with the new chair that manuevers easily in the bathroom, it is still not easy to get Sean over into the tub and then back out to his chair. He sits in a tub chair, but since he cannot really put weight on his feet without having his braces and shoes on, we have to actually lift him over. Oh well, it is difficult, but every time we do it, we all get a little better at it.

Sean was ready for lights out at 9, last night. It felt so good to put him to bed and know that we were all together again!

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, January 22, 2006 9:24 PM CST

Our first weekend at home without having to think about driving back to Anna on Monday morning. Tonight when I tucked Sean into bed, he spelled to me "You can finally say "See you with the morning light" again". It is the way I used to always say good night to the boys, "Night I love you. See you with the morning light." It is so good to know that it is now true again with my beautiful boy. He is no longer a boy, however, he is a beautiful young man, as are each of my sons.

Sean had a really good visit with Justin and Jessica Boren, and Brian Wible. The guys got a kick out of Sean "talking" to them using his Roll Talk. Jessica and I were in Sean's bedroom, so the guys could have a little space. She kept me company while I unpacked a few boxes in Sean's room. I still have a lot to organize in there, but it already looks so much better than it did.

Ben, Cheryl, Shaya and Calem made their weekly visit. Calem's birthday was Friday. I got really cute cupcakes and ice cream for him. We celebrated his third birthday. I had given him a little air mattress with a sleeping bag and he layed down in the living room and fell asleep.

We spent a few minutes on line with Todd and Joey, but I have had so much to do, that we did not spend very long visiting. It was nice to see them via webcam even for a few minutes.

Tomorrow Sean and I have to be at Baylor by 8:30 to register. Then we will have about an hour and a half of orientation, and then I will leave Sean until his therapy sessions are over at 3 p.m. After I arrange transportation for Sean, I will not have the responsibility of transporting him and his wheelchair to and from BIR each day. They will pick Sean up right at our door. What a change it will be from the past months when I lived, ate, and breathed rushing to be with him each day.

I am so excited about the new steps our lives are now taking. Finally we will have some semblence of normalcy in our lives. At least we will be in our own home together. They say that home is where the heart is. But, I am here to tell you. Home and heart are much happier when they are together in their own beds!

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Saturday, January 21, 2006 5:02 PM CST

Well, Sean is forever and officially as he calls it, "a free man". All of his possessions have been moved from Pate. In fact, I completed that task on Thursday when I brought Sean home. I did take him back on Friday for his last day of therapy. We were both so excited about getting him out of there that we left without his medicine. I didn't remember until we got all the way down into Plano to the George Bush Turnpike. Needless to say, we were both aggravated that we had to turn back north in rush hour traffic, but better that than arriving all the way home and realizing it.

When we arrived home, I climbed into the back of the truck to unload the power wheelchair, only to discover that the Joy Stick that drives it,had come unscrewed. I looked all over the bed of the truck and could not find the pieces required to fasten it, and believe me I was in a panic. Luckily it was just 4 p.m. and Praxair (the wheelchair supplier) was still open. They had our favorite engineer in the area, and he came right over and fixed the chair.

Gaylon Riddels came over as soon as we got home and spent the evening visiting with Sean. Sean and Gaylon were able to have a really good visit now that Sean has the "Roll Talk" to speak with.

I have spent the day trying to get some of our apartment organized. Sean had a lot of stuff in his room at Pate, and I had just dumped it all in our living room so you can imagine the chaos. I also spent some time programming more phrases into Sean's Roll Talk. We are trying to anticipate some phrases that he might need for his first day at Baylor Rehab on Monday, so I have also spent time working on that.

Sean is now awaiting visits from Brian Wible and Ryan McDaniel, as well as Justin Boren. They are all coming down this afternoon. I know that Brian and Justin will really get a kick out of Sean "talking" to them. Justin always laughs at himself because he cannot always keep up with Sean's spelling. Justin has always laughed and said "If it has more than 3 letters, it is too big a word for me."

Ben, Cheryl and their kids will be over on Sunday to visit with Sean. Bob and I may take that time to run out and get a few things for Sean's room. I have to get a lunch box to take each day with BIR.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, January 18, 2006 9:22 PM CST

Sean has been "praising Jesus" all day. He loves his roll talk and keeps pushing the button that says "I can finally talk to you." We were laughing on the way home this evening because he was spelling and "speaking up a storm to me. Our previous trips have always been silent on his end.

Thank you all for continuing to write messages to Sean and thank you for writing directly to him at his e-mail address, scarter83@aol.com . He has really been enjoying reading them and frequently shares them with me.

Teri, I am really excited about some of the Em-Care gang coming up for the benefit. That will be awesome to see everyone.

I began packing up Sean's room today, and the next two days will be extremely busy for me so I am not sure that I will be able to write again until Saturday. By then, we will have Sean and all of his stuff here permenantly. At least until he is ready and able to move out on his own again. There should be no more excuses for me not to write every day. Hopefully all kinds of new things will happen at BIR.

Please continue to pray for Sean and pass on the word about his website. We are striving to let others know about the circumstances of Sean's accident and hoping to save others from this fate.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, January 18, 2006 7:04 AM CST

Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

We got word late yesterday afternoon that Sean has been accepted at Baylor Institute of Rehab, as an outpatient and will start there on Monday. This means that Friday will be his last day at The Brinlee Creek Ranch.

Although Sean will probably always say that he hated it there, it was because he was away from home. There are some caregivers that he will always remember with very warm thoughts and great fondness. I will name a few of them so that we will have a record of them. Felecia, who was shift leader of the "Day 1" Shift. She works Sunday through Tuesdays and every other Wednesday. Curtis, who is Felecia's counter part the remainder of the week. Jo, the cook at The House. Alex and Teresa, who are the night shift leaders. George and Neely, Sean's cognitve therapists, (I am sure that they have another title for the therapy they provide, I just don't really know what it is). Joyce, his PT Tech, and Lori and Sarah, his physical therapists. Hilary was his speech therapist. There are other people who helped to make Sean's stay there, better, so many that I would probably forget someone if I attempted to list them all.

Yesterday was also a red letter day for Sean because he can now allow "Roll Talk" to speak for him, "I can finally talk again", Sean spelled, and the electronic voice spoke. We spent the day yesterday, working with Paul, the rep from Roll Talk, who helped us set Sean's system up. This is actually the demo system. We are trying to get Sean's funding approved through his insurance company. I can tell you, that after just one day, I will somehow make sure that Sean has this system. It is very expensive. No one has told me exactly how much, although I have heard it is around $15,000. The freedom that this gives Sean to communicate is priceless to him. The benefit that Lois Richardson will hopefully defray this expense if it winds up in our laps. It will be worth every penny to the freedom that it gives Sean.

We programmed buttons yesterday, that will automatically speak for Sean, "Can you look in my back pack for my cup?" "I am thirsty, will you get me a drink?" Even funny prhases, "Not no, but Hell No!" The system is totally customizable. In fact, I sat last night and programmed buttons for Sean. He wanted ones that said, "Hallelujah, Friday is my last day". "I am moving home this weekend!" "Starting on Monday, I will be going to BIR as an outpatient." He spelled to me, "I am ecstatic!"

Sean's Dad, Danny, came last night. Sean was eager to show him how he could use "Roll Talk". Danny, Janice and Brad, had given Sean external speakers for his iPod, for his birthday, so Sean subjected his Dad to some of his Tunes.

We were planning on Sean's spending the night at home last night, but by the time I got Sean out of the shower after his Dad left, we would have only had time to drive home and get in bed, and then Sean would have had to get up an hour and a half early to start the trek back. He decided that he would just stay up there last night. Because he had me programming his Roll Talk, I did not leave until almost 10 p.m.

Bob went out yesterday evening and bought some rubbermaid containers that I can use to move Sean's stuff home. His room is full and it will take a major effort for me to get everything home by Friday. I asked Bob if he was ready for all of this, and as he has assured me throughout this entire journey to recovery. "Sean is the most important thing. I will do whatever I can to take care of the two of you."

Sean told me before I left that he would have a hard time sleeping, but I am happy to report, I left him with a big smile on his face!

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter PS: Sean just text messaged me, "I'm already up talking and have been since 6, Praise Jesus!"

It's amazing what a day has done to improve Sean's attitude.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006 8:11 AM CST

Sean was awake Sunday night (Monday morning) from about 2:30 on. When I got up at 5:30 and checked on him, he reached for me and started sobbing. He spelled to me "All my friends are writing me off."

I don't know if people realize that even though Sean's accomplishments are huge, he still cannot do anything without my help, until he is sitting up in his wheelchair and then he does have that independence. Even though, he is feeding himself, that too is a struggle. Since he cannot really manipulate the fork once it is in his hand, he has to be creative. Sean has figured out that if I place the tines between his teeth, and he bites on the fork, he can then grasp it between his thumb and forefinger and when he sticks it into his food it will wind up going into his mouth the right way. Foods that have a solid substance (like meats) are then fairly easy to spear and he can get them into his mouth.

There is only one cup that Sean can drink from and because my routine was altered since Sean was also awake, I forgot to get it in our stuff so he was without it yesterday. That meant that he had to have someone hold his cup.

He has had many friends tell him that they would be there one day in the future, but they never come, nor call, nor even e-mail him to tell him they will not be there.

His pain hurts my heart deeply. No One wants their child to suffer. I have shared so much of Sean's suffering! But this is not meant to be a pity party for either one of us. It is just another day in the life.

Last night Sean stayed at Pate, because he was exhausted and needed the extra morning hour of sleep. This also saved him from getting out in the cold morning winds.

Today will be better. Sean gets his Roll Talk device! I have to sign off and get up to Pate by 10:00 this morning so that I can participate in his training sessions today.

Hallelujah! Sean will finally be able to communicate with the outside world! A synthetic voice will speak the words that he types!

Rejoice with us!

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, January 15, 2006 5:07 PM CST

Todd got his computer camera with a microphone yesterday. We tried it out this afternoon and stayed on line with each other for more than an hour. We got to watch Joey dancing! Sean had his Sony computer on his lap and Todd could see him, too.

Callem's birthday is the 20th. He will be 3 years old, and as all young children, he has far too many toys. I think we are going to give Ben and Cheryl a PC camera for Callem's birthday and then all of us can webcam each other. We can have a long distance family reunion.

I told Sean that after he moves home and starts outpatient at BIR he could turn his camera on with his Dad and Janice, or his grandparents, they would feel like they were actually visiting each other. If they each got a camera and microphone then Sean could see them as well.

I am so excited about it, I think everyone needs to do it!

Sean and I watched the "Wedding Crashers" this afternoon. It was a fun little light hearted movie. Just the perfect thing to watch on a cloudy Sunday afternoon.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Saturday, January 14, 2006 7:55 PM CST

Sean is taking Management Information Systems on-line from Midwestern this semester. I was so surprised that this class cost $537.75. Is that normal for a college course? I have no idea. It seems high. Anyway, he has just logged in and is attempting to get started. I am so proud of him for wanting to tackle this, but I also worry. It seems like even when we are doing nothing, there is no time in the day. I am sure that everyone feels this way about their lives. Sean has just logged into his class for the first time.

Ben and Callem came over this morning and stayed with Sean while Bob and I ran up to the Ikea store. We are going to get wardrobe units for Sean's room and move his things from his closet to the wardrobes. Hopefully that will give us room to be able to put his medical equipment into his closet. We don't want his room and bathroom to have to look like a hospital room.

This computer has a camera in it and while Ben was here we logged into it and Todd was able to see Sean wave at him and he saw Ben and me while Ben instant messaged us. Todd is going right now to look for a camera for his PC. If he gets it, then we will be able to see Joey, Kori and him live! I don't know why we didn't think of it sooner. It looks as though they will move to Washington state when Todd gets out of the Air Force next month. Since they will be so far away, the camera will be great for Joey to see his uncles and his Granny Jenny, and we will be able to keep up with them.

Sean is so excited. Muffin, one of the Baylor Rehab clinical research coordinators is on line and they are instant messaging each other.

Have a wonderful weekend!
Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, January 13, 2006 9:12 PM CST

Today was another almost out-patient day for us. We got up, me at 5:30, Sean at 6:30, loaded up and headed up to The Ranch.

David Guerra met us at 9, he is a videographer who is helping us document Sean's progress on this road to recovery. He filmed Sean from 9 until almost 11:30. He filmed Sean walking in the EVA walker, this huge walker on wheels, that Sean uses to walk in. Joyce, the PT aid, stands in front of it, and pulls it towards herself as she walks backward. Sarah, his PT, is behind him holding him up by his gait belt, and pushing in on his fanny. She slides her foot under his right foot, that still is not strong enough to totally advance. She pushes his foot forward. Sean is able to stride out on his own on his left foot. He made an entire loop around the inside of the Therapy Center.

Afterwards, Sean did his oral/motor exercises. He uses his tongue to push on a toothette, (an oral sponge on a stick). It is almost as if he is doing weights with his tongue. Then he has to practice "phonating" which for him is kind of like a little yell. He is so funny because he has to get into a certain position to do this. He stretches back and tilts his wheelchair so that he is laying almost on his back. Then he raises his right arm and concentrates on trying to push air up and out of his mouth and hopefully force sound out as well.

After that we took a few minutes and walked up the hill to allow David to film me putting Sean into his bed and then getting him up again and into his chair. When we walked back down the hill, Sean had to have his electrical stimulation (e-stim) on his throat. This too is an effort to stimulate his swallow and perhaps his vocal cords as well.

David left, and I drove into McKinney to grab some lunch and to get Sean a cell phone. Bob put him on his plan as a family talk. You can now text message Sean at 214.733.6983. He won't be able to really answer until after Tuesday. That will be a huge red letter day for him. Sean is finally going to get his roll talk device. Check it out at rolltalk.com to see exactly what it looks like and what it can do for him. We are so excited about this.

I also paid for his one on-line class today. I can't believe it, but one class cost $535.00. Sean will be starting this class this weekend. It will officially get him started back into the discipline of learning again. This first month will probably be difficult because during the week, he will only be able to do it during therapy times. That's okay, he is ready to try.

I don't know if you can tell, but I have great pride in the things that my son accomplished today!

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, January 12, 2006 7:58 AM CST

Sean and I wore each other out yesterday, his birthday. We had a wonderful day together yesterday and ended it all with Ben, Cheryl, Shaya, Calem and Bob in the evening. Cheryl gave Sean a hair cut for his birthday. He looks so cute. I will have to take a picture of him today and get it on this site for all of you.

Because of our big day yesterday, Sean and I were both exhausted. We overslept this morning, and I don't have time to get him up for his hour of PT this morning. Sean told me that he just wanted to stay home today. He was not up to making the trip up to Anna today.

We will return for therapy first thing on Friday morning, but this day, Thursday, Sean and I will relax together at home. If you planned to see him today, I am sorry, but he will be at home this afternoon.

Sean wanted me to be sure that I let all of you know that yesterday morning, when I rolled him onto his left side, he brought his right leg over his left. This was a first and he was very excited. He also keeps track of his "firsts". Another baby step, thank you God!

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, January 11, 2006 6:16 PM CST

Happy Birthday Sean and Todd!!!!

Things that I have learned from my 23 year old son. No matter how hard it is, it can be done with a smile. Even the simplest things should never be taken for granted, like picking up a cup and drinking with out help from anyone else. The most important thing about living, is to really love each other, and to let your feelings of love be known.

Today is the birthday of my beautiful boys. Instead of me giving him a gift, my son, Sean, have given me the greatest gift of all. The two of us spent the day together. Due to my misscheduling, we only saw one doctor today. I loaded up Sean and his power wheelchair this morning and we went to see Dr. Paul Ellis, a hand surgeon to try to get a plan for Sean's contractures of his fingers. Arriving in the front of the Wadley Tower at the main Baylor University Medical Center Campus, I unloaded the chair and then unloaded Sean. We went in and met with the doctor, who interestingly has a law degree from SMU as well as his medical degree. He wants us to proceed with caution, thinking that it is still possible his tendons could relax. He does think that he will end up having to do a release on Sean's left pinky finger, but will wait until after he talks to Dr. Snoots, Sean's foot surgeon before he makes a decision how to proceed.

Afterwards we loaded up and went to the Ikea Store in Frisco. I was so proud of Sean. He fed himself his entire meal. He wanted to do it rather than have me do it for him. Even though, he could have made a real mess on himself, he thought that it was more important for him to tackle the task than for his MoM to do it. Sean says if he can do it, he wants to attempt it.

Yesterday evening Sean had a visit from a former coworker and friend, Nick from Chapin Title in Sherman. They laughed and swapped stories and just generally had a really good time together.

Sean and I got home at about 8 o'clock last night, and by the time Sean got in bed he was exhausted. Bob had gone in to take a bath, and I was trying to get Sean into bed, and I honestly didn't know if he would stay awake long enough for me to get him pivoted into his bed. He was asleep before I even walked out of his room.

Ben, Cheryl, Shaya, Calem and Bob are all here now. We are having pizza for Sean's birthday. I talked to Todd and he and Kori were taking Joey to their local Pizza Place in Mountain Home for his birthday. So I guess we are all eating pizza together!

Thank you all so much for your good wishes for Sean, and for Todd!

Thank you for caring,
Sean, Todd and Ben's MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, January 9, 2006 9:14 PM CST

Sean and I had so much fun this evening, getting ready to come home again. We are here now. He is in bed, and I will soon be there as well. Our morning starts early driving back and forth, but I am still convinced, that until it rains, this is the thing to do.

Sean listened to his iPod most of the day. There is a new client who yells, Sean spelled "bloody murder", all day. This is a phase that many TBI patients go through. Some are louder than others. This man is extremely loud. This kind of behaviour really bothers Sean, although he does understand it. He told me that he sat outside for a half an hour with his music going. When I arrived at the Therapy Center to walk him up the hill, he was jamming away and didn't even realize I had walked in.

We recently watched the movie "Ray". Sean is very eclectic in his musical tastes. He wanted me to find the Jamie Fox, score from the movie, but I had no luck. I did however, find an old original CD of Ray Charles. Georgia on My Mind, is one of the cuts, and the one that Sean particularly wanted. As we drove down Hwy 75 headed home tonight, we were listening to this new CD. "Georgia" came on and Sean lifted his left arm over his head and just swayed back and forth to the music. I had tears streaming down my face, watching my son with this huge grin on his face, oblivious to all around him except the music. I am trying to get the CD burned on my PC tonight so that I can quickly transfer it over to his iPod before I go to bed.

Some brain injury patients actually start singing before they start talking. Sean thinks the music may help him. I will do ANYTHING to help him regain speech.

Sean and Todd will be 23 on Wednesday. Sean has 3 doctors appointments that day. All in the Baylor area, so we will be busy, Sean in his wheelchair and me on foot. Traveling from one building to another to make our rounds. He will come home tomorrow evening and not go back until Thursday morning.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, January 8, 2006 3:30 PM CST

Bob and I went to bed last night while Sean was still awake in his bed watching TV. He likes to sit up in his bed at night, and then when he is ready for sleep, he can lower the head of his bed, and take his glasses off and lie them on top of the remotes, and go to sleep. It gives him a sense of control that he does not have while at the Ranch.

He has a tamborine that he can shake at night to wake me up. At midnight, I woke to hear the tamborine being shaken frantically. When I went into Sean's room, I found him crying. He has not been suicidal in a long time, but last night he spelled to me. "Please, don't give me anything lethal until I am better." I was not sure what he meant, until he spelled to me, "Like a knife". When I asked him when I would ever give him a knife, he spelled "when I am eating". I told him that I always cut his food, so he didn't need to worry about it. I assured him that I would not allow him to do anything to himself, because I had not been with him every step of this trip to let him try to circumvent our journey.

This morning, he woke up with a smile on his face. Big brother Ben, Cheryl, Shaya and Calem came over to spend the afternoon. Bob has gone with his best friend out to the shooting range. We are spending a good afternoon together, and the sadness of last night seems to have passed for now.

Thank you all for the messages of the last few days. Rachel we miss you, and we will take you up on your invitation to come to Austin. Sean always enjoyed his forays down for the night life.

Cindy Boyer, we were so happy to hear from Andy the other night. He sounds so good. I am so thankful for Andy's sweet nature, and so glad that he sounds as though he is doing so well.

We are hoping to have an answer from BIR the first part of this week. We are anxious to have a date to move Sean totally home. I have to purchase some medical equipment to make Sean's care easier here at home. Proceeds from the Benefit that is being planned will help with that.

Sean's e-mail address is Scarter83@aol.com. He says he welcomes any e-mails from you, his Army of Angels.

We are excitedly looking forward to the Benefit that Lois Richardson, Monette Wible and Teri Geen are planning. We are so indebted to them.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Saturday, January 7, 2006 5:10 PM CST

Well, I have been away from a computer for a few days. Sean is doing well, although I am wearing down from traveling and getting up early. Thursday night I stayed at The Ranch with Sean. I thought that would keep him from having to get up so early and I would be there to rescue him. I got very little sleep though. For some reason he was really restless and he would wake me up and have me reposition him. Oh well, we are home now.

I got out this morning to run a couple of errands and to grocery shop. I bought an overbed table (hospital table) for Sean to use here at home. He is able to feed himself now. We still have to help him with soft things, but at least he can spear and fork meat. That gives him a little bit of freedom from us. He cannot really turn his hand to manuever food into his mouth, so a spoon is really out of the question. I found a couple of plates at Ikea that have edges so that he can push the food toward the edge with his fork and hopefully be able to stab it and then can bring it up to his mouth.

Wednesday evening while in the shower, we both realized that Sean can now raise his right arm up enough for me to wash under his arm, and then after the shower to put deoderant under it. I have always had to lift it up. This is a new movement. Sean continues to improve!

Last night when I spun him onto the side of his bed, he was able to sit there while I ran and got his toothbrush and then brushed his teeth! We were both so excited. His balance is slowly returning.

I apologize for not writing for a couple of days, but it is reassuring to see that you continue to check in, and some of you write.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, January 4, 2006 9:41 AM CST

Sean awoke yesterday with a feeling of sadness. By the end of the day that feeling had dissipated. (I need to buy a dictionary.) Throughout the day I began having a feeling of impending doom, and it is almost paralyzing this morning. All of the news about the fire danger has made me almost beside myself.

For those of you who have been to The Ranch, you know that it is out in the middle of the countryside. Extremely rural. I feel that the fire department could be all volunteer. I am not knocking that, I am just saying that the resources are probably limited. I can not get out of my mind the difficulty the staff would have if brush fires began to creep up on the House. There are several patients who would have to be lifted out of bed, among them, my beautiful boy.

All day yesterday, they were watering around The House, even on the House and the rooftop. Then yesterday evening they had a fire drill. Even though Sean was in his power chair, it took him several minutes to get outside. My imagination ran crazy thinking about him if he was in the bed and the alarms were real. The next two days are supposed to be windy which increases the fire danger.

All the way home last night I wished that I had brought him home with me. With great difficulty, I fell asleep, only to awake at 4 a.m. I ended up calling The House at 4:30 for reassurance that all was okay up there.

Bob and I talked about it, and I have decided to bring Sean home each evening until it finally rains again. I will shower him and have him eat dinner up there. If anyone wants to come visit, we will not be rushing straight home. As long as we make it down here by our bedtime, we will be okay.

This may be a ridiculous reaction, but I cannot allow anything to happen to my son after all that he has endured. He and I will be a little more tired for the wear of driving back and forth each day, but we will be together.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, January 3, 2006 12:02 AM CST

Sean and I got up early this morning and headed up to Anna. Bob helped me load Sean and his wheelchairs this morning.

When I woke Sean up this morning he told me that he had a bad dream last night and it has left him feeling sad. He didn't really remember what his dream was about, he just knew that he was sad because of it.

I will write more tomorrow about our day today. I am just killing time today while Sean is in therapy. I had this picture, though and I wanted you all to see Sean as he starts his new year.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, January 2, 2006 5:43 PM CST

Sean and I had our last day of the weekend together today. Sean and I had decided that we needed to have an adventure. I loaded him into the truck and got his power wheelchair loaded up and we met Ben, Cheryl and Shaya at Circuit City out by the Galleria.

Sean manuevered all through the store. He is interested in buying an MP3 player or ipod, so we had to look at some. After doing so, Sean decided he needed to do a little more research on the internet before making a decision. Music has always been important to my sons, and Sean will benefit from handling the whole process of downloading music from the internet (legally) and creating his own playlists and putting it on an MP3 player. This way, he can listen to what he wants, and I can listen to talk radio as we drive back and forth together.

After our little tour of Circuit City we walked/rolled, over to the Galleria. We went through the entire first floor, even venturing into a few stores. Then, returning to our truck, Ben helped me load Sean and the chair and we were off for a trip back home.

I did learn today that it is not exactly easy to have an outing. So we will always go to places that have more than one store, or destination within driving distance of Sean's chair. It was worth the effort though. I think Sean enjoyed his first real outing, and I know that his brother was happy to be with him for a little while today.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, January 1, 2006 6:47 AM CST

Happy New Year!

It is early on Sunday morning. Sean is still sleeping. Not much recognition of the new year in our home last night. I did manage to get some black eyed peas for us to share today. Sean and I were watching a news show yesterday where they made a black eyed pea salad, so that is what I will make today.

Ben,Cheryl and Shaya came over yesterday so that Ben could help me get Sean into the bath for a shower. Ben and Cheryl are both coming down with a cold, I hope not the flu. They were going to stay home last night. Todd was working, so Kori was at home with Joey. I woke up with the comfort of knowing that all of my sons were safe this morning.

To all of you who read these pages, and especially to those of you who write, I have to let you know that Sean reads your messages. They mean more to him each day. As I'm sure you all know, life does go on. And Sean is getting on with his life, however, he feels his isolation more with each passing day. He has not had the freedom to do anything without assistance since March 27. His friends are often so busy that he does not even have the luxury of instant messaging very often.

Sean and I both know that 2006 has to be a better year. So much of 2005 was lost to both of us. Please make sure that if you are a parent, you hug your child(ren) close. If you are a child, let your parents know you love and appreciate them. And if you are a friend, know that those little acts of kindness and the sacrifice made for friendship, means so much. More than you will ever know.

Thank you for continuing to care,
Sean, Todd and Ben's MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, December 30, 2005 4:55 PM CST

Sean and I were driving home yesterday afternoon and had the most awesome surprise. Jama Horn was at our apartment waiting for us when we arrived. She had flown in for the weekend to visit her Mom and sister, and felt that she needed to "surprise us"! We were so excited to see her. We enjoyed a visit for a couple of hours. It was so thoughtful of her to take time to squeeze us into her whirlwind trip.

Sean's power wheelchair had gotten stuck in tilt and he was leaning all the way back when I arrived at The Ranch yesterday afternoon. We had a tough time manuevering the chair up the hill to The House. I ended up having to load it that way because we could not get it to move down. I got him lifted out of that chair and into his manual chair. I gave him a shower, and we ate at The House and then headed for Big D.

This morning Sean and I were up early to get ready for his orthotics appointment. When we returned, Praxair, our wheelchair vendors, had sent a technician out to fix his chair. While the chair was being worked on, Sean and I ate lunch. Once it was fixed, and we finished eating, we went (me on foot and Sean in his power chair) to BIR for an appointment with the director of the Day Neuro Program. Sean felt like it was old home week. Staff members kept stopping him telling him "hello". I think everyone was impressed with how well he is doing.

We are hoping to be able to move Sean to Baylor's program at the end of January. That will give me time to get the chairs that we need for bathing and toileting.

Ben and Cheryl stopped by briefly this afternoon after we returned from BIR. They brought some delicious fried chicken and fried okra for Sean for dinner.

Sean is now laying on his bed for a little while. Bob is down in south/central Texas at his deer lease with his buddies. I am taking a moment to share our day with you and to tell you,

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, December 29, 2005 7:26 AM CST

Sean was not real happy yesterday. He only got Physical Therapy for 15 minutes yesterday by riding the bike. We are both happy that he is coming home this afternoon.

Bob will be leaving for his deer lease first thing Friday morning. Sean and I have two appointments tomorrow, but we should be able to manage both of them on our own. We will be heading up to Plano to have his orthotics checked by Stephen Prock. Then we will come home, have lunch, and head over to BIR. We have an appointment to meet with the Director of the Day Neuro Program.

Hopefully we can get the ball rolling to move Sean home soon. We are in the process of purchasing a couple of chairs that we need, one for the bath and one a transfer/commode chair for the bathroom. Sean is desparate to get the commode chair. Although we manage now, it will be much more comfortable for him when we are able to get that.

Sean and I are ready for him to move home. It will give me so many more hours during the day. Sean was teasing me last night telling me that I will really lose weight walking back and forth with him to Baylor twice a day. He got a kick out of spelling to me yesterday that he plans on driving his wheelchair "weather permitting". I think his English has improved since he now spells everything to me. Instead of resorting to abbreviations as people do when using instant messenger, Sean is not satisfied unless he spells the entire thought out. And he has to use proper English.

I will get busy and get myself ready for the day and then head to the grocery store to get food for our weekend. Then I will head up to The Ranch to get Sean ready to bring him home.

Thank you for continuing to care,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, December 28, 2005 8:47 AM CST

Once again I had electrical problems. I was furious, as you can imagine, as I stood in the shower with my hair covered with shampoo, in the total darkness. Luckily, I knew exactly where everything was so in the darkness, I shaved my legs and finished my shower. (Please don't allow yourself a mental picture of this. I am sure it is no longer pretty!)

I dried in the dark, dressed, and went outside and lo and behold, the breaker that had been replaced was again off and it would not switch to on. I called our emergency number here at the apartments, and in about 45 minutes the power was on. The maintenance guys came in and opened up the inside circuit box and took the cover off and found a problem with the wiring that they fixed. Hopefully this time all of our power issues are resolved.

Sean's Nanny, PaPaw and Aunt Linda came by yesterday evening for a visit before Aunt Linda returned to Tulsa. After they left, Sean and I went out to dinner. Sean is now feeding himself most of his meal. He does this with great difficulty. For one thing, he is right handed and he is only able to use his left. For the other, his fingers are so contracted and he does not have full range of motion of his arm, so it is difficult to keep the food on his fork as he moves it up to his mouth. He is a trooper, though, and he keeps working at it.

I had made banana pudding for the day shift, and Sean had some for dinner. He pronounced it "scrumptious!".
We were laughing because Sean always spells out full sentences and he uses such big words. Some people who have difficulty spelling, have a hard time keeping up with him so they can't not always appreciate his sense of humor or even know what he is talking about.

I have made an appointment with a hand specialist. Sean has two appointments on his birthday, January 11. One with Dr. Thomas for a Baclofen Pump check, the other with the hand specialist.

Yesterday was the first day since his casts were off that he was able to walk in the Light Gait again. He actually looked like it was a little easier for him to move. I am so happy with the progress my beautiful boy is making. He has such a long journey ahead of him, but he greets each day with a smile. No matter what, we are in this together!

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, December 27, 2005 12:34 AM CST

The prognosis for recovery of a brain trauma injury improves markedly the shorter the window of amnesia is surrounding the accident, or onset of the trauma. One of the major indicators in a patients recovery is "What is your last most recent memory prior to the accident." Sean was having a hard time remembering the year prior to his accident. He has always been oriented to place and time, but he could not remember his apartment in Wichita Falls. At first he could not remember Todd and Kori's wedding, although he does now.

This morning he let out a burst of excitement while we were driving up to The Ranch. He spelled to me that he was remembering "The Edge". This was a restaurant and bar in Wichita Falls, that had hired him shortly before his accident. In fact he had only begun working there about two weeks before his wreck. He spelled to me today that "it is a gaming establishment with slot machines". He spelled that he could remember the faces of his trainers, and the head bartender, whose name is Jeremy. Sean was so excited. I am as well.

Throughout this recovery I have been amazed at my beautiful boys' ability to remember day to day events. Short term memory is normally a real problem for people with TBI. Sean does not seem to have these deficits. The majority of his problems now are related to the fractures, and his brains inability to remember how to form words, for speech and how to command his muscles to move.

He does improve each day. Sometimes the improvement is very subtle so if I think about what he could do yesterday compared to what he can do today, I might not recognize the improvements. But if I compare it to the week before, or weeks before, I can visualize huge accomplishments.

Each day with my son has been a blessing. I continue to feel this blessing today. Sean spelled "Halleluja" to me this morning. And all I can say is Halleluja!!!

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, December 26, 2005 7:48 AM CST

It is the day after Christmas. Most folks are off today, but Bob's shop only closes for the actual day of Christmas. Since it was on Sunday, they work today just like always. He is gone, Sean is still sleeping. I awoke when Bob left this morning.

We had a wonderful "family" day together. We all got a kick out of watching Shaya open her gifts. Ben and Cheryl had gotten her stuff for her bedroom. Since they move into a bigger apartment for the New Year, they wanted her to have her room all fixed up so that is what most of her gifts were. As a 13 year old, tomboy she was not exactly thrilled. But it was fun watching her. She is a really great kid. I enjoy watching my oldest son with his family. Callem has been with his Dad, but will arrive in less then two weeks and will now live with Cheryl and Ben until summer.

There are so few things that Sean can use, or do right now, he did not get many gifts. But he spelled to me that "MoM, you have given me the best gift you ever could, when you come to see me each day." Of course, I cried because I had so little for him, but he understood. He later told me "this is the best Christmas ever." He spent sometime on the computer, but spent most of the time in the living room watching TV and just laughing with Ben and Cheryl.

I cooked the traditional Christmas feast, but I am not sure that I will do this again next year. There is so much work involved, and the meal is over so quickly. I know I am not the only person who feels this way. We all missed our visit with Lois and Ron, and Sharon, Tony and their families.

Sean and I both feel that he will be more mobile next year, so we will have to make our way back to Whitesboro for part of the Holidays. Not only that, but Todd says that as long as a new job permits, he and Kori and Joey will be here for Christmas as well.

We are all expecially grateful to all of you who read these pages. Thank you for taking time to write to us.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Saturday, December 24, 2005 8:20 PM CST

Christmas Eve, 2005
Where has the year gone. Last year I had known Bob for a couple of weeks. He was hunting and I was getting ready to go up to Sharon Vessels for Christmas. We went over to her folks, Lois and Ron Richardson's home Christmas Day. I can remember fretting as I waited for Sean to show up. He had overslept and was having dinner with Danny and Janice before he headed over to Whitesboro.

Tonight, the three of us are here together along with Ben, Cheryl and Shaya. There is sorrow for the way Sean was last Christmas, but I have such a full heart with my sons, all but Todd, here and Bob, Cheryl and Shaya. Finally, I have a family again after so many years. I think that we finally have all learned the importance of family.

Sean and I were taking a nap this afternoon when Ben came in. His face lit up in the biggest smile when he knew that Big Brother was here. We have sat and watched movies together this evening. Sean and I are having an OC Marathon this weekend.

How Happy this Holiday is. Sean is with us! Oh things could be so much different this Christmas. I am so glad my son is still here with us. I feel that 2006 will be a much better year for him.

Thank you all for Caring!
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Saturday, December 24, 2005 8:20 PM CST

Friday, December 23, 2005 9:38 PM CST

Sean and I had to be in Plano at Hanger Orthotics at 9 a.m. this morning. We walked out the door at home at 8, had time for me to stop and grab a cup of coffee and were at the office by 9.

Sean was so happy once he got the orthotics on, with his old pair of shoes. I was happy because I had bought some shoes to try, since I wasn't sure how they would fit in his shoes, and it turned out that his old shoes seemed to work the best. I will be able to take the new ones back!

I don't know why, but once Sean was actually in shoes it seemed as though he was easier to stand and pivot with his disk, into the truck seat. We were so excited because we were back in the truck by 9:40 a.m.

We stopped off at Bob's shop on the way home to show off Sean's new feet. Afterwards, we drove through Farmer's Market in downtown Dallas. It is just minutes from our apartment and since you can drive through the barns where the produce is sold, it was really convenient and safe for Sean to sit in the truck while I jumped out and bought some things. I bought him some Kiwi, strawberries, grapes and a few other vegetables.

When we returned, Brian and one of his friends, Amanda, came by and visited for a little while. Brian had brought a funny T-shirt for Sean. I had made lunch, and they stayed and ate a little with us. When they left, Sean and I decided we would take a nap in front of the TV.

The weather was so beautiful this afternoon that I decided to cook salmon on the grill. Sean really enjoyed his dinner. He and I watched the first 3 episodes of the first season of the OC. Bob had come home and eaten with us and then run back up to the shop.

We are really excited because he brought home a new ramp that is 45 inches wide and really light weight. The power chair should easily go up and down without requiring help. I am really happy. Tomorrow we will see how well the chair loads in and out.

Saturday is Christmas Eve. Ben, Cheryl and Shaya will be coming over and will spend the night with us. I am making Turkey again at Sean's request. I look forward to the family time with my sons and only wish that Todd was here as well. However, I know that he will have a good Christmas with his little family, Kori, and Joey. They will be celebrating in Prosser with Kori's family.

Thank you all for your comments in Sean's Guest Book. We wish you a very Merry CHRISTmas, with blessings for all!

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, December 22, 2005 8:24 AM CST

Wow, our electricity woes were still going when I arrived home last night at 10:30. Bob had run by the apartment yesterday afternoon and called to tell me that there still was no power. I called the power company again and received a call back from the lineman. He told me that there is a breaker switch that the apartment complex maintains and it was in the off position. I immediately called the managers and was assured that a maintenance man would be sent over and they would have our power back on. I did not even dream that it would not be on when I got home.

I opened the door and Bob met me with a flashlight. He said that he had been outside and pushed the breaker to "on" but it would not stay there. If you know me, you know that I am very calm until you cross me. Well, I was furious that our electricity issue had not been addressed. I called the emergency line for our apartments, and the maintenance man was called out, and finally, just after 11:30 p.m., we had power. He did tell us that they would have to have an electirician check out the switch today.

I had been really worried, because I am bringing Sean home this evening and I would not be able to if we had no power. Oh well, I finally decided that I had to be thankful that it happened yesterday rather than over the Christmas weekend when Sean was here.

Sean had a visit from Jeremy and Katie last night. Katie was wearing a beautiful engagement ring. They are planning to wed about a year from now. While they were there, Todd called, so on speaker phone, the four of them were able to visit.

I am going to check into the possibility of having Sean start as an outpatient at Baylor Rehab. I had a conversation with Sean's lead therapist yesterday, who is in agreement that Sean is ready for more aggressive physical and occupational therapy. He felt that I can work any cognitive issues with Sean. Since I actually am the one who does all of his care every evening and have no real problems on the weekends, I feel confident that we can manage together here at home. There is some medical equipment that I will have to actively pursue getting for a successful move. But that will be what we work towards.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, December 21, 2005 12:30 AM CST

What a dank, cold, rainy day, Tuesday was. I had left our home early planning on running several errands. Things didn't turn out that way. I ran by my friend, Luann's, house and ended up staying an visiting for a while. Leaving there, I stopped off at Allen's Outlet Mall to look for some stocking stuffers. Unfortunately, I did not feel like wandering around in the rain, so I left there nearly empty handed.

Finishing my drive up to McKinney, I decided to stop off and get the groceries needed to make cheesecake brownies for all of the clients and staff at The Ranch for Sean to give for Christmas.

Yesterday evening after showers and dinner, Sean sat beside me in the kitchen at The House, and I baked, and baked and baked some more. I ended up making 5 big pans of Brownies. These are a "secret", "fantastic", recipe that has a layer of chocolate candy bar with almonds and toffee pieces in the middle. When cooled, I slathered a cream cheese cake like frosting on the top of them.

Sean had to have a piece, "to make sure", he spelled, "that they were safe". Upon eating his first bite, he decided that they were "Heaven". There were a few clients still up, and with the staff, they all enjoyed some with everyone pronouncing them "the best dessert ever!" I don't know how everyone will think they are today because they are best served slightly warm from the oven, so that the chocolate candy layer is soft. Hopefully, they are enjoying them now.

This morning as I got out of the shower, our power went off so I ended up putting my makeup on by lantern light. I called the power company, and our payments were current. I don't know about you, but even though I know I paid the bill, that is always my first fear! It is kind of irrational, but I was so relieved when the TXU operator confirmed that indeed our account was paid up to date.

Because of that, I got ready quickly and went on down to the Knox-Henderson area of Dallas to finally wrap up stocking stuffers. I have stopped for lunch at Panera Bread and am now tapped into their Wi-Fi, to write to all of you.

Thank you for caring. The count-down to Christmas has begun!

Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, December 20, 2005 8:46 AM CST

Monday turned out to be a wonderful day. Sean and I arrived at The Ranch around 8 a.m. He was greeted with smiles and "hello's" and I think his spirits picked up when he arrived. I wheeled him in and Felicia, (team leader), fed him. Felicia is one of Sean's favorites and she soon had him laughing. After I unloaded his power chair, I got him transferred over to it, brushed his teeth and washed his hair, and saw him out the door. He went down with another client and staff member so that they could get the door for him.

I went to Starbucks and made a CD of pictures that I had taken at Sharon's wedding, as well as all the pictures I had of Justin and Jessica's visits with Sean and pictures of Justin at Todd's wedding.

Sharon and Lois met me in McKinney and we went to lunch at the Lavendar Tea Room. We exchanged gifts and enjoyed a few hours together, visiting and shopping. They followed me back to The Ranch so that they would have an opportunity to visit with Sean.

After they left, and Sean ate dinner, which by the way, he helped feed himself, Brian Wible came by for a visit. He has graduated with his Bachelor of Science in Criminal Justice, and was proudly sporting his graduation ring. It really is pretty. Or should we add, "in a manly way!" I left the guys in Sean's room for a while and went out into the kitchen. Some of the clients were rather agitated, so I didn't stay out there a long time.

Going back into Sean's room, I found the guys laughing over some of Brian's work stories. He works at a juvenile shelter in Wichita Falls. He told us that he is really not sure, and a lot will depend upon job opportunity, but he would not be surprised if he ended up moving permanently to Wichita Falls.

Jeremy Poet called and said that he would be by to visit Wednesday evening. Nanny and PaPaw will be coming this week as well, and I feel certain that Danny and Janice will probably come by as well.

Sean begged me to take him home Thursday evening. We had been planning on leaving about noon on Friday. I told him that we could leave Thursday, but we would be in no rush. We would come up to The House, in case that is the day he has visitors. He will eat dinner and have his shower, and as long as we make it home by 8 or 8:30, we will just plan on that.

I have to let you know that the grief is still hanging heavy on my heart, but I do feel more at peace with things this morning. Thank you for your kind words and thoughtfulness. Thank you for your prayers.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, December 18, 2005 5:00 PM CST

Sean and I feel so bad. Bob has spent literally all weekend working on his invention, and it is just to hard for me to use. After all of his time, plus the materials he has put into it, I think we are going to go ahead and buy a power tailgate lift. There just seems to be no other way to load the chairs.

I feel so bad for him. It is so close to working, but Sean's chair is so extremely heavy. It weighs 388 lbs. Combined with the steel in the lift that Bob made, it was just too much for me. Actually, if we were going to keep it and try to use it, Bob would have had to make a new bumper with a jack in it to support the rear of the truck as it lifted the chair. He says that he made an "Edsel". That will really date us. Those of you who know that term are my age, those who don't are probably Sean's age.

I don't know what has been wrong with me this weekend. I try so hard to stay positive about everything, and I know that we all have so much to be grateful for. I also know that no matter how hard I try, I can't turn the clock back. I always tell Sean he cannot dwell on what might have happened had he been sitting in the middle of the truck, or had he not gone out that night. For some reason, I look at my Beautiful Boy, and there are times I feel as if someone is kicking me in the stomach. How could this have happened to one of my sons? I watch the news and I see the victims of tragedy such as Hurricane Katrina, and I can't help but be angered that they are so upset about losing their homes, or their cars, or their possessions, and I think about all that Sean has lost.

I thought that I had moved through all of the stages of a tragedy. Questioning...wondering why...the anger...and finally, acceptance. Well, I now realize that I am still suffering in the "Anger Stage". I know that things are getting better every day. And I know that if Sean can deal with things and work hard each day to improve, I can do it as well. Through all of Sean's hardships, he keeps struggling to walk again, and to talk again, in fact just to lay in the bed and roll over again.

And then, Sean looks at me, and he smiles. In fact, Sean smiles almost all the time. If he wakes up in the middle of the night and needs something, he smiles at me. His smile is really what keeps me going. I have so much to be thankful for...

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Saturday, December 17, 2005 7:07 PM CST

Sean and I are enjoying a quiet Saturday at home. We got away from The Ranch shortly after 4 yesterday afternoon. Traffic was really heavy, but we actually arrived home within a little more than an hour and fifteen minutes. Sean was kind of drowsy after his shower, so he dozed as we rode down here.

I cooked homemade quesadillas for dinner and he kept rubbing his tummy. He really enjoyed them. In fact he has had good food all weekend, so his hands been rubbing his tummy a lot.

Bob has been at the shop all day, and is still there. He is working so hard to perfect our wheelchair lift. He thought that he had it all figured out, but he had not had the opportunity to have the truck and the chair there, so until today it was all speculation. He has had to make several modifications, but I know that when we get it, it will be perfect. I feel really bad that he and his employee, Donald, have spent their entire Saturday working on it.

Sean and I have taken naps this afternoon. He just reminded me that I got him up by myself this morning. We also transferred onto his reclining love seat, and then back into his chair. I am washing his wraps for his feet right now. It will be good when he gets his orthotics and he no longer has to use the back half of his casts as splints.

Sharon (Vessels) Roberts, and her Mom, Lois Richardson, are going to meet me in McKinney, Monday morning after I drop Sean off for his therapy day. We will go to lunch together and perhaps do a little window shopping and then they will follow me back to The Ranch for a visit with Sean. That will be fun. I usually don't really have anything to do the day I take Sean back. I tend to just kind of wander aimlessly.

These next two weeks, I will bring Sean home at about noon on Fridays, and then he will not return until Tuesday mornings. The therapists are all off on the Monday after Christmas and the Monday after the New Year.

Thank you for continuing to check in and thank you for caring,

Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, December 16, 2005 7:37 AM CST

Sean saw Dr. Carlson yesterday. I think that he amazes Dr. C. everytime that we go. There are always new accomplishments to share.

We rode to Denison in the Pate Lift van, so Sean was able to drive his power chair in to TexomaCare. It is so much easier when he is able to drive himself in his chair than have me push him.

When we left we stopped into Jones Bar-b-que and got lunch to go. I fed Sean as we were riding back to Anna. He was so happy about the food. This is really "comfort" food for Sean. He has memories of going to Jones before his accident. For a while as he ate we reminisced about old times. It helped a lot to do this because when we arrived back at Anna, right after lunch was over for them, he was able to go right in and start on his afternoon therapies.

I took the opportunity to lay down on Sean's bed and nap for about an hour. I really felt that I needed it. This week has been so busy.

I went down to The Therapy Center so that I could accompany Sean back up the hill to The House for the evening. Sean has become a little more sociable in the afternoons. He now enjoys sitting out in the Kitchen while dinner is being prepared. Yesterday evening, I was able to grab the bedside table that is used in the kitchen and place it in front of Sean. He was able to feed himself his vegetables. Since he also had pepper steak and rice in a gravy, I fed him that part of his meal. I was really happy with Sean's success with his vegetables.

Bob has not quite finished our Lift for the truck. He has to change one pulley, and then make a couple of stops so that it doesn't swing around too far and knock into the inside bed of the truck. This weekend I will do some research to see if we can patent his invention. Last night, Sean and I were talking to Bob on the phone and we all decided that this could become a new "standard" for Standard Spring and Axle. Bob's Dad and Grandpa, Pappy, had both been in business under the "Standard" name, and this could possibly be a new and profitable line of business for him. They say that necessity is the mother of invention, and it certainly was with this device.

Sean, Bob and I all wish you a wonderful weekend. Stay warm as you continue with your Christmas preparations.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, December 14, 2005 10:39 PM CST

I attended a wonderful Memorial Service today for Robb Landman. I think that Luann was overwhelmed with the response of so many people attending. The service was held in the Wildwood Chapel at Restland in Dallas and it was filled to overflowing. People were even standing outside, listening to the service. Afterwards we all went to her house to spend a little more time together.

I was able to make it up to The Ranch before 3:30, so I went on down the hill to walk beside Sean as he rolled back up to The House after therapy. Since he is not supposed to walk until after he gets his AFO's, Sarah, his PT, is working with him as creatively as possible.

Today he rode a stationary bicycle for 20 minutes. He pedaled both forward and backward. I think that she was even impressed with how well he did.

I guess the melancholy feeling from the Memorial Service lingered with me this afternoon. My tears are right on the edge of my eyelids and spilled over frequently this evening. Sean told me that he made his speech therapist, Hilary, sad today. She asked him what he wanted for Christmas and he told her that he had all that he needed. He said that he told her that MoM came everyday and that was the best present he could ever get. He told me that he is so thankful for all that I do for him. Of course, this makes me cry as he spells his feelings out to me. He has become so much more sensitive since the accident.

This evening, our wheelchair repair guy, John Lopez, came by and removed the primary joy stick that Sean used. Sean had a joy stick mounted on a bar that was out in front of him at about his midline. There was another joystick that was on the right arm of the chair that was there for the attendant to use if necessary. He moved it over to the left armrest, and removed the center one. Now Sean's whole torso no longer has the bar riding in front of him. He is excited. To us, this is another improvement in his independant mobility.

Tomorrow morning, I again drive up to The Ranch early. Sean has an appointment with Dr. Carlson at TexomaCare in Denison. Sean can't wait to show him how much he has improved since the last time we saw him.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, December 14, 2005 7:10 AM CST

Sean and I had a full day yesterday. It started early, with our 8:45a.m. appointment with Dr. Thomas for a Baclofen Pump adjustment. I am beginning to be a little concerned because I have noticed the last couple of days that Sean is becoming "noodly, or floppy" when I stand him up. I talked to Dr Thomas about this. He made adjustments to the flow of medication delivered by Sean's Baclofen Pump. He did tell us that if this continued he would cut out the last oral medication that Sean is taking for his spasticity.

Dr. Thomas is at BIR, and we were so happy to see a familiar face, Muffin. She came into visit with Sean for a few minutes before Dr. Thomas got into the exam room. She was so excited about Sean's progress. She is so sweet and told us that she continues to keep up with him via this website.

When we finished with our visit at BIR, I had to push Sean across the street in his manual wheelchair to Dr. Snoots office. Dr. Snoots is his orthopedic surgeon. It was a big day, Sean had his casts cut off. He will now wear the back half of the casts, secured with ace bandages for 24 hours until his new braces "AFO's" are made. Dr. Snoots said that everything was looking good.

From there, I loaded Sean back into the pickup and we ran home to eat lunch before we headed out again. It was a quick trip into our home, and then we were off to see Stephen Prock at Hanger Orthotics, who fit Sean for his AFO's. They will be in about 2 weeks from now.

After that visit we loaded up again and headed for The Ranch. We got there not a minute to soon. I ran in and brought Sean's power chair out to the truck and got him positioned into the chair. He started toward the House as the first few drops of rain started falling. I was able to get his manual chair unloaded and get the truck unloaded before it really started raining.

When we got in, Sean wanted to get his shower before dinner, so I shaved and showered him. We went to the kitchen and ate, and then Danny and Janice came for a visit. I sat out in one of the living areas and watched a little TV and almost dozed off. It has been a busy couple of days that started out really early for us.

Sean enjoyed his visit with his folks, but was ready for bed when they left. I turned his light off at 9:30 and could tell as I left that he was pretty worn out.

I am so proud that we made 4 transfers in and 4 transfers out of the truck with no assistance. Lifting his wheelchair in and out of the bed of the truck and tying it down is now the most strenous part of the trip for me. But I have found that together, Sean and I can now travel unassisted. While no one could say it is easy, we are able to do it. It gives us a great sense of freedom and is a sign of brighter times ahead.

Bob has taken the truck to his shop this morning. He will try to get the new lift that he has built, installed before Friday so that it will be easier for me to load the wheelchairs. It is supposed to be nasty weather by then, Cold and rainy.

I will attend the Memorial Service for Robb Landman this morning. Please say a prayer for his family, particularly his Mom, Luann and sister Carrie.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Monday, December 12, 2005 9:06 PM CST

Sunday and today have been busy. Bob, Sean and I went out to watch part of the Marathoners pass by as they pursued their dreams of completing the White Rock Marathon. I know Bob was a little wistful. He has run 5 Rocks, and wanted to do it this year, but has put his life on hold for us. He was a little excited though, because he had an opportunity for the first time to see the elite runners cruise by mile 24. We were going to try to walk and Sean roll down to American Airlines Center to watch the finishers as they came in, but the farther away from home we got the more congested it became and Sean got to confused trying to dodge everyone, so we came back home.

By that time Ben and Cheryl were here, I made dinner and took a short nap and then went and met with my running group for a pre planned Christmas party. With the death of Luann's son, we did not have the same celebration we would have normally had, but we enjoyed a few hours together and were thankful that we could spend the time with Luann and her daughter, Carrie. I know that it was really hard for them, but I think it helped ot be out talking about "other" things for a little while.

By the time I got hime it was time for Bob and I to get Sean ready for bed, and we went shortly after.

Monday morning was an early one for all of us. Sean and I had a family conference at The Ranch at 9 this morning. Afterwards I went Christmas shopping at Ikea in Frisco. When I returned to the Therapy Center this afternoon, Sean was walking around in the Light Gait machine. He greeted me with his big, proud, smile. Once he finished his therapy, we went on up to The House and I showered him, he had spagetti dinner, and then we headed back home.

We are here now, he had about 30 minutes to check the computer and is now relaxing for a few minutes in his bed. Tomorrow I take him to see Dr. Thomas for an adjustment to his Baclofen Pump, then to Dr. Snoots to have his casts removed, and then on to see Stephen Prock to be fitted for his "AFO's". These are plastic braces that will support his feet and prevent them from contracting again. We will talk to Dr. Snoots about referring Sean to a hand specialist because the Botox did not loosen his hands up the way we hoped that they would.

Oh, another good thing besides the walking. Sean agreed during the family conference that he would begin attempting to feed himself. He now recognizes that it will be better to make the efforts while at Rehab so that the day will come when he will not be afraid to attempt it out in public.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Sunday, December 11, 2005 11:38 AM CST

I received a call from one of my running friends on Friday evening. One of our little group's 37 year old son had committed suicide that day. Needless to say, I didn't sleep very well Friday night.

Saturday, Sean had an appointment with the eye doctor. I had been thinking that his eyes might have gotten worse. He said that he was unable to read the computer, and he did have problems seeing writing on the television as well. Well, imagine my surprise and pleasure to find that his eyes have actually improved. His vision is about where it was prior to the accident. His eyes were actually being over corrected by his new glasses.

Yesterday evening, I went over to my friend's house, where our little group of friends gathered around her to share her sorrow. So much has happened to our group during this past year. There has been a loss of a parent, this loss of a son, the losses that Sean has had. But there have also been moments of great happiness. Todd and Kori were married, all of the blessings in my niece and nephews lives. Tragedy and Bliss, that is what living is.

Sean told me that he would have committed suicide himself, but he knows that hell would be much worse. Then he smiled.

This morning, Bob, Sean and I went out to watch some of the runners come by in the White Rock Marathon. As I watched Sean rolling in his wheelchair in front of me, I started crying. I remember last year, when I ran this same race, and Sean was STANDING at the Finish Line to catch me as I dragged my old aching body across the line. So much has changed. Sean told me this morning that when he starts walking again, he wants to start training with me. I told him that he will probably still be faster than me, I was so slow. But what an accomplishment that would be for us to go the 26.2 mile distance together.

I could tell that Bob was watching with a little sadness. He has run The Rock 5 times. This year would have been his 6th. He has put his life on hold to care for us. Yesterday was a year for us. He told me that even had he known then what we would be confronted with, he would do it all over again. He loves "our family".

Ben and Cheryl are here this morning. Shaya decided to stay home. This evening, I will again spend time with our running group. We will reminisce, cry and laugh together. Bob and Sean will be here together.

I am truly blessed,

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Friday, December 9, 2005 8:00 AM CST

I am sitting at home watching the Today Show. There are big white flakes of snow falling in New York City. Cold surrounds most of the country. It is down to 5 degrees in Anna, where Sean is this morning.

Yesterday afternoon,our dear friends, Lois and Ron Richardson, and Pastor Craig, from Trinity Lutheran Church in Sherman, were waiting on Sean and I as we came up the hill from the Therapy Center yesterday afternoon. Pastor Craig performed communion so that Sean and I could share the ceremony together. It had been about a month since the three of them had seen Sean and I think they were so happy seeing his progress for themselves. They shared stories of Haylee, Jessica and Justin Boren's daughter, and their great granddaughter. Haylee had her 4th birthday this week and will celebrate it with a party this weekend. Sean, Justin and Jessica, graduated from S&S High School together and Justin is one of Sean and Todd's "Band of Brothers".

As they were leaving, Sean's Dad, Danny came in. He had brought Sean a DVD player and "The Dukes of Hazard", that was just released on Tuesday. Danny fed Sean his dinner and then the two of them settled in to watch it together. They didn't get to finish the movie, because I stil had to shower Sean and get him ready for the next day. However, they did get to spend a few hours together and Sean really enjoyed the time.

Because the staff at the Therapy Center was somewhat reduced yesterday, Sean did not have a lot of PT or OT. In fact he felt that his day was pretty unporductive. However, one of the PT's did get him up in the EVA walker and she told me that he walked the entire length of the gym. I don't think that Sean will be satisfied with his walking, until he is able to walk up the hill to The House from the Therapy Center. He has a hard time recognizing his baby steps. He wants to take Giant Ones. I have to remind him that he is building the foundation for bigger things.

I left at my usual time and was happy that I encountered no ice left on the highways.

This morning I will go to the grocery store and get our weekend groceries and then head up to The Ranch. I will probably try to begin loading Sean's stuff about 2:30 so that we can get on the road back home. He will stay with us until Monday morning, when we will get up early enough to be there for breakfast and then start his Therapy Day at 9 a.m.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Thursday, December 8, 2005 1:23 PM CST

Good afternoon from the bright and beautiful, and somewhat icy, McKinney, Tx. I came into town from The Ranch so that I could quickly update the website.

Last night turned out to be an icy, sleet covered night, so I spent the night on Sean's floor. Since the sun is now shining and the ice on the roads has melted off, I ran into town so that I could make a quick entry here on Sean's website.

I want all of you to know, that Sean does read his messages. He usually tries to logon to the site when he has computer time during his therapy day. It is so heart warming for him to read the entries written in his guest book each day. It is really awesome when new people find the site and let us know they are now a member of Sean's "Army of Angels".

Yesterday morning, Sean walked around the entire big square of the therapy center, while being suspended in the Light Gait. That is probably about 160 feet. Although I did not get to see him, I know that he was extremely proud of himself for accomplishing this.

This morning found all of the clients getting off to a slow start. Since the roadways were so icy, a lot of the therapists were running late. The rehab staff at The House decided to allow the clients to sleep-in. Unfortunately, Sean decided we needed to get up at 7. After he ate and had his teeth brushed and his face washed, he sat out in one of the sitting areas watching "Biker Buildoff", on the Discovery Channel.

At about 9:30, most of the therapists had arrived so they used the vans to shuttle the patients down the hill to the Therapy Center. Sean and I decided, however, that we would walk down ourselves. We knew that it would take as much time to load up in the van and then unload, as it would just to roll on down the hill. Salt had been spread out on the sidewalks so it was fairly deiced. I put socks on Sean's toes and on his hands, a scarf around his neck and a hat on his head and together we braved the cold.

Once he got inside, and I got his outerwear off, I left him to come into town and update all of you who read here.

We hope that all of you stayed warm last night, and are now safe where you need to be, at home or work.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Wednesday, December 7, 2005 7:42 AM CST

I set Sean's new computer up on DSL yesterday morning. It has a wireless card, and it is so awesome because he can now be anywhere in the apartment and be online. All you do is turn it on and it instantly connects. Not only that, we both can be on line and for those of you who know, now there is a telephone to use as well. Because of that, I was busy here most of the morning and did not arrive at the Ranch until just a few minutes before 3.

When I got there, Jo, the cook, and her boss, Cindy, were so excited. They told me that they could not wait until Sean told me what he had done that morning. They would not hint to me at all.

Going down to the Therapy Center I thought about all of the progress that Sean has made so far, and I couldn't wait to see the latest baby step. Imagine my surprise, when I got inside and saw Sean he didn't say anything about anything. He was laughing about a couple of circumstances that had happened at breakfast, but although funny, these did not seem any cause for excitement. Finally I said, "Sean did you do anything special today?" His answer? "No!"

So I stopped his physical therapist and asked her. She pointed to the video tape and lo and behold. There was Sean standing up at a big walker. It has armrests at chest height, and a frame with a U shape at the bottom and 4 casters on it. Sean had walked in that walker, 20 feet! Not only that, he was standing up straight and tall. His walk was slow and he had a hard time picking up his right foot enough to get it forward, but he did! And his left foot went right out, with a nice stride and with his right leg, he propelled himself forward! What a great step he has made!

I teased him because he expects himself to walk, so he does not recognize how important all of his efforts to do so are to all of us who work with him and watch him. All of the staff share in the excitement. They all feel that Sean tries so very hard, and it makes their jobs worthwhile when they participate and share his progress.

Yesterday afternoon, Nanny and PaPaw came for their weekly visit. I was sitting out on the couch watching Oprah while they visited in Sean's room before dinner. PaPaw came out excited because Sean had moved his right arm so much. Sean can now lift his hand up to his nose. Although it is with great effort, each day I can see strenghtening in that arm.

We are expecting a possible bout of winter weather with snow and sleet, so I will take clothes to spend the night with Sean if necessary. It won't necessarily be comfortable, but I want to be with him up there. I worry that not all of the staff will be able to get there, and I would rather be with him if they wind up short handed. Bob says that would be best as well.

I always write the journal before I read the new entries in the guest book. I feel so blessed when new people write that they are joining Sean's Army of Angels. I also noticed that our messages have been archived. The guest book has grown so large that it was becoming hard to load the whole thing. I have got to find out if there is a way to copy it all to CD.

Thank you for caring,
Sean's MoM, Jenny Carter

Tuesday, December 6, 2005 9:51 AM CST

Yesterday was an extremely busy day with absolutely no time to get to the internet to update this website. I apologize.

Sunday:
Ben, Cheryl and Shaya were here for dinner. We celebrated Ben's birthday and Shaya's birthdays. Of course we had to have two different cakes. Cheryl made Shaya a chocolate cake, with chocolate icing and Ben had vanilla with cream cheese icing. Sean had a piece of both.

We all gathered around and watched Mr. and Mrs. Smith, with Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. Of course we all had to discuss the attributes and comparisons of Angelina and Jennifer Aniston. Ben thinks Angelina is the hottest, while Sean is into Jennifer. I think part of it is an age thing, but it was funny listening to the brothers.

Monday:
I had to wake Sean up early so that Bob could help me get him into his manual wheelchair. We had loaded up the power chair the night before. I made breakfast for Sean, he ate, and then I gathered everything up to get Sean loaded up for his trip over to the Aston Clinic at Parkland. He was scheduled for memory research testing at 9 a.m.

We pulled up to the Clinic and the wind was blowing hard and felt frigid. I unloaded Sean's manual chair and got him into it by myself. We got a little worried because when I placed his feet on the pivot disk and then started to turn him towards the chair, his body went the opposite direction. I got so scared that I could not get him back where he needed to be and I