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Monday, November 17, 2008 9:22 AM CST
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Four year scans are today! I'll post the good news soon :) Thanks for the prayers!
Please sign the guestbook and let us know you were here. Peyton loves it when we read her what you wrote.
Kelly, Courtney's Mom, sent me this. Her cousin Jennifer wrote it about Court...
My Hero
Heroes are made of many things,
Some have feet, and some have wings.
Some use brains and others just looks;
Some are live and some found in books.
Some do good deeds by making choices;
Others do theirs by using their voices.
They use their talents to dazzle and reign,
And sometimes must fight with terrible pain.
But heroes they are, one and all;
Just regular people, both large and small.
My hero is so many things,
She once had feet, and now has wings.
Definitely had brains and beautiful looks;
Her trials in life are destined for books.
She did good deeds with lots of charm
Attracted many and did no harm.
Her talents never waxed or waned
Even when going through horrendous pain.
She touched all the lives she met each day
About her, many loving words they say.
Now she’s gone, but not forgotten.
Even though the breaks she had were really rotten,
Watching over her loved ones with a smile on her face,
She sends us her peace, her love and her grace.
With Hope
Steven Curtis Chapman
This is not at all how
We thought it was supposed to be
We had so many plans for you
We had so many dreams
And now you've gone away
And left us with the memories of your smile
And nothing we can say
And nothing we can do
Can take away the pain
The pain of losing you, but ...
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again
And never have I known
Anything so hard to understand
And never have I questioned more
The wisdom of God's plan
But through the cloud of tears
I see the Father's smile and say well done
And I imagine you
Where you wanted most to be
Seeing all your dreams come true
'Cause now you're home
And now you're free
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again
We have this hope as an anchor
'Cause we believe that everything
God promised us is true
So we can cry with hope
And say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place (by God's grace)
where we'll see your face again
We wait with hope...
And we ache with hope...
We hold on with hope...
We let go with hope...
In My Daughter's Eyes
Martina McBride
In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes
And when she wraps her hand around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about
It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daugter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes
Wednesday, July 9, 2008 10:57 AM CDT
| View | Add FavoriteHappy 8th birthday Peyton!!!
New pics are on the photo page so you can see how big our girl is getting :)
Please sign the guestbook and let us know you were here. Peyton loves it when we read her what you wrote.
Kelly, Courtney's Mom, sent me this. Her cousin Jennifer wrote it about Court...
My Hero
Heroes are made of many things,
Some have feet, and some have wings.
Some use brains and others just looks;
Some are live and some found in books.
Some do good deeds by making choices;
Others do theirs by using their voices.
They use their talents to dazzle and reign,
And sometimes must fight with terrible pain.
But heroes they are, one and all;
Just regular people, both large and small.
My hero is so many things,
She once had feet, and now has wings.
Definitely had brains and beautiful looks;
Her trials in life are destined for books.
She did good deeds with lots of charm
Attracted many and did no harm.
Her talents never waxed or waned
Even when going through horrendous pain.
She touched all the lives she met each day
About her, many loving words they say.
Now she’s gone, but not forgotten.
Even though the breaks she had were really rotten,
Watching over her loved ones with a smile on her face,
She sends us her peace, her love and her grace.
With Hope
Steven Curtis Chapman
This is not at all how
We thought it was supposed to be
We had so many plans for you
We had so many dreams
And now you've gone away
And left us with the memories of your smile
And nothing we can say
And nothing we can do
Can take away the pain
The pain of losing you, but ...
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again
And never have I known
Anything so hard to understand
And never have I questioned more
The wisdom of God's plan
But through the cloud of tears
I see the Father's smile and say well done
And I imagine you
Where you wanted most to be
Seeing all your dreams come true
'Cause now you're home
And now you're free
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again
We have this hope as an anchor
'Cause we believe that everything
God promised us is true
So we can cry with hope
And say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place (by God's grace)
where we'll see your face again
We wait with hope...
And we ache with hope...
We hold on with hope...
We let go with hope...
In My Daughter's Eyes
Martina McBride
In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes
And when she wraps her hand around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about
It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daugter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes
Tuesday, November 20, 2007 1:05 PM CST
| View | Add FavoriteIt's been two years since we said goodbye to you Court. Two very long, very short, hard, hopeful, painful, blessed, aching, amazing years. Like that song we'd sing about the "awful, beautiful life" and remember to thank God for the bad with the good...and I do that because I promised you I would always know to do that even if He took you...
You'd be so proud of Peyton. She's fearless and compassionate, just like you told her to be. She's won against cancer and lived through losing you and Griffin and still has a sweet and courageous personality despite all she's been through.
We sat in clinic today. Peyton played a game while Dane and I sat exactly where we sat the day you came into our lives. We laughed at how Dane making fun of your Longhorn clothes started that crazy journey of love we had with you...and we cried because we miss it so much. But I still thanked God because the good far, far, FAR outweighs the bad.
We miss you. Kiss Griffy for us. Know you are loved and thought of more today than usual, and that's alot.
Love,
Marni
Please sign the guestbook and let us know you were here. Peyton loves it when we read her what you wrote.
Kelly, Courtney's Mom, sent me this. Her cousin Jennifer wrote it about Court...
My Hero
Heroes are made of many things,
Some have feet, and some have wings.
Some use brains and others just looks;
Some are live and some found in books.
Some do good deeds by making choices;
Others do theirs by using their voices.
They use their talents to dazzle and reign,
And sometimes must fight with terrible pain.
But heroes they are, one and all;
Just regular people, both large and small.
My hero is so many things,
She once had feet, and now has wings.
Definitely had brains and beautiful looks;
Her trials in life are destined for books.
She did good deeds with lots of charm
Attracted many and did no harm.
Her talents never waxed or waned
Even when going through horrendous pain.
She touched all the lives she met each day
About her, many loving words they say.
Now she’s gone, but not forgotten.
Even though the breaks she had were really rotten,
Watching over her loved ones with a smile on her face,
She sends us her peace, her love and her grace.
With Hope
Steven Curtis Chapman
This is not at all how
We thought it was supposed to be
We had so many plans for you
We had so many dreams
And now you've gone away
And left us with the memories of your smile
And nothing we can say
And nothing we can do
Can take away the pain
The pain of losing you, but ...
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again
And never have I known
Anything so hard to understand
And never have I questioned more
The wisdom of God's plan
But through the cloud of tears
I see the Father's smile and say well done
And I imagine you
Where you wanted most to be
Seeing all your dreams come true
'Cause now you're home
And now you're free
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again
We have this hope as an anchor
'Cause we believe that everything
God promised us is true
So we can cry with hope
And say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place (by God's grace)
where we'll see your face again
We wait with hope...
And we ache with hope...
We hold on with hope...
We let go with hope...
In My Daughter's Eyes
Martina McBride
In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes
And when she wraps her hand around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about
It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daugter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes
Wednesday, October 24, 2007 10:07 AM CDT
| View | Add FavoriteThursday October 25th would be Courtney's 22nd birthday. It's been almost two years since we said our goodbyes, and I still think of her every day and miss her every day...
Peyton asks about Courtney alot these days. We'll be doing a seemingly mundane activity, and Peyton will stop and say, "Mama, do you remember when Court would..." and then share a memory she has of her. I worried for so long that Peyton might not remember Court very well as the years progressed since she was so young when they were friends, but I don't worry anymore. Her memory about Courtney is sharp as a tack and we talk about her a lot in our house, so we're keeping her memory alive for Peyton.
Happy Birthday our angel. We love you to the moon and back.
Love,
Marni
Please sign the guestbook and let us know you were here. Peyton loves it when we read her what you wrote.
Kelly, Courtney's Mom, sent me this. Her cousin Jennifer wrote it about Court...
My Hero
Heroes are made of many things,
Some have feet, and some have wings.
Some use brains and others just looks;
Some are live and some found in books.
Some do good deeds by making choices;
Others do theirs by using their voices.
They use their talents to dazzle and reign,
And sometimes must fight with terrible pain.
But heroes they are, one and all;
Just regular people, both large and small.
My hero is so many things,
She once had feet, and now has wings.
Definitely had brains and beautiful looks;
Her trials in life are destined for books.
She did good deeds with lots of charm
Attracted many and did no harm.
Her talents never waxed or waned
Even when going through horrendous pain.
She touched all the lives she met each day
About her, many loving words they say.
Now she’s gone, but not forgotten.
Even though the breaks she had were really rotten,
Watching over her loved ones with a smile on her face,
She sends us her peace, her love and her grace.
With Hope
Steven Curtis Chapman
This is not at all how
We thought it was supposed to be
We had so many plans for you
We had so many dreams
And now you've gone away
And left us with the memories of your smile
And nothing we can say
And nothing we can do
Can take away the pain
The pain of losing you, but ...
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again
And never have I known
Anything so hard to understand
And never have I questioned more
The wisdom of God's plan
But through the cloud of tears
I see the Father's smile and say well done
And I imagine you
Where you wanted most to be
Seeing all your dreams come true
'Cause now you're home
And now you're free
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again
We have this hope as an anchor
'Cause we believe that everything
God promised us is true
So we can cry with hope
And say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place (by God's grace)
where we'll see your face again
We wait with hope...
And we ache with hope...
We hold on with hope...
We let go with hope...
In My Daughter's Eyes
Martina McBride
In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes
And when she wraps her hand around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about
It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daugter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes
Tuesday, August 28, 2007 8:51 AM CDT
| View | Add FavoriteMy dad just sent me a prayer request for a little boy named Conner. He is 3 1/2 and was just diagnosed with a brain tumor that doctors are calling inoperable. Reading the email, I was catapulted back in time to the days of Peyton's diagnosis. Even though God was holding my hand all the way through it, those first few days of diagnosis were the scariest days of my entire life. Remembering those feelings compels me to pray for Conner and also his parents and family. Please join me in asking God for peace and strength for The Lint family. Conner has a website where you can send him prayers and well-wishes. Go to www.connerlint.com
Love,
Marni
Please sign the guestbook and let us know you were here. Peyton loves it when we read her what you wrote.
Kelly, Courtney's Mom, sent me this. Her cousin Jennifer wrote it about Court...
My Hero
Heroes are made of many things,
Some have feet, and some have wings.
Some use brains and others just looks;
Some are live and some found in books.
Some do good deeds by making choices;
Others do theirs by using their voices.
They use their talents to dazzle and reign,
And sometimes must fight with terrible pain.
But heroes they are, one and all;
Just regular people, both large and small.
My hero is so many things,
She once had feet, and now has wings.
Definitely had brains and beautiful looks;
Her trials in life are destined for books.
She did good deeds with lots of charm
Attracted many and did no harm.
Her talents never waxed or waned
Even when going through horrendous pain.
She touched all the lives she met each day
About her, many loving words they say.
Now she’s gone, but not forgotten.
Even though the breaks she had were really rotten,
Watching over her loved ones with a smile on her face,
She sends us her peace, her love and her grace.
With Hope
Steven Curtis Chapman
This is not at all how
We thought it was supposed to be
We had so many plans for you
We had so many dreams
And now you've gone away
And left us with the memories of your smile
And nothing we can say
And nothing we can do
Can take away the pain
The pain of losing you, but ...
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again
And never have I known
Anything so hard to understand
And never have I questioned more
The wisdom of God's plan
But through the cloud of tears
I see the Father's smile and say well done
And I imagine you
Where you wanted most to be
Seeing all your dreams come true
'Cause now you're home
And now you're free
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again
We have this hope as an anchor
'Cause we believe that everything
God promised us is true
So we can cry with hope
And say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place (by God's grace)
where we'll see your face again
We wait with hope...
And we ache with hope...
We hold on with hope...
We let go with hope...
In My Daughter's Eyes
Martina McBride
In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes
And when she wraps her hand around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about
It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daugter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes
Monday, August 6, 2007 12:38 AM CDT
| View | Add FavoriteBy now Ms. Peyton would have had her yearly scans. When July came and went without a call from Children's, Dane called the clinic to see what was up. They told us Peyton won't be seen this year until November. And in talking to one of Peyton's former Nurse Practioners, we are preparing for the fact they may not scan her at all now! I think I'm cool with that. On the one hand, it's nice that everyone is so confident that they don't feel scanning Peyton is necessary anymore. But on the other hand, scanning her was the only way we found the cancer in the first place so not scanning her is a little unnerving. BUT, here is where the faith part kicks in and I trust that the cancer is still gone and will stay gone.
Peyton just got back from Camp Esperanza (or cancer camp as she calls it!) at Camp John Marc. She had another great year there and we've been slowly hearing the stories of her week. She starts back to school in a few weeks and she's a little bummed out about that because she's had such a great summer!
Oh yes, and I told Peyton I would mention this. She is 7 now!! She turned 7 on 07/07/07 :) She thought that was so cool. I've posted a b-day picture on the photo page. She got Heely's from me and dad because she had BEGGED for them for months. What were we thinking right? ;)
That's it for now. I'll try to be better about updates :)
Please pray for Alexa (www.caringbridge.org/visit/alexareneemoore). She has just been diagnosed with CCSK and we want her all better and very, very soon.
Love,
Marni
Please sign the guestbook and let us know you were here. Peyton loves it when we read her what you wrote.
Kelly, Courtney's Mom, sent me this. Her cousin Jennifer wrote it about Court...
My Hero
Heroes are made of many things,
Some have feet, and some have wings.
Some use brains and others just looks;
Some are live and some found in books.
Some do good deeds by making choices;
Others do theirs by using their voices.
They use their talents to dazzle and reign,
And sometimes must fight with terrible pain.
But heroes they are, one and all;
Just regular people, both large and small.
My hero is so many things,
She once had feet, and now has wings.
Definitely had brains and beautiful looks;
Her trials in life are destined for books.
She did good deeds with lots of charm
Attracted many and did no harm.
Her talents never waxed or waned
Even when going through horrendous pain.
She touched all the lives she met each day
About her, many loving words they say.
Now she’s gone, but not forgotten.
Even though the breaks she had were really rotten,
Watching over her loved ones with a smile on her face,
She sends us her peace, her love and her grace.
With Hope
Steven Curtis Chapman
This is not at all how
We thought it was supposed to be
We had so many plans for you
We had so many dreams
And now you've gone away
And left us with the memories of your smile
And nothing we can say
And nothing we can do
Can take away the pain
The pain of losing you, but ...
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again
And never have I known
Anything so hard to understand
And never have I questioned more
The wisdom of God's plan
But through the cloud of tears
I see the Father's smile and say well done
And I imagine you
Where you wanted most to be
Seeing all your dreams come true
'Cause now you're home
And now you're free
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again
We have this hope as an anchor
'Cause we believe that everything
God promised us is true
So we can cry with hope
And say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place (by God's grace)
where we'll see your face again
We wait with hope...
And we ache with hope...
We hold on with hope...
We let go with hope...
In My Daughter's Eyes
Martina McBride
In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes
And when she wraps her hand around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about
It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daugter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes
Friday, June 22, 2007 12:55 AM CDT
| View | Add FavoriteSummer is finally here! Sorry about the lapse in updates. We've been really busy...
Lindsay is in Europe for a good part of the summer. My sister lives in Italy and Lindsay and my mom went to stay a month there with her. So far Lindsay has seen Italy, parts of Spain and soon will be heading to south France. I'm so jealous!! ;) Lindsay turned 16 last month and I STILL haven't figured out how she was a toddler and now she's 16. I swear it happened overnight!
Peyton is doing well. When school starts, she'll be in second grade. That blows me away. She's growing up so fast too. She's having a great summer and is enjoying having some time by herself with me and daddy while Lindsay is away. She'll head off to camp soon. She had so much fun last year and can't wait for it to be time to go again. Sometime in early July, she's due for yearly scans again, but we're confident she's doing well. We'll let you know the results as we get them.
Courtney's headstone is finally done. They installed it 19 months to the day we laid her body to rest. Peyton and I are driving out to see it later today. Paige sent me pictures and the stone turned out beautifully. I've put the pictures on the photo page.
Between the headstone and Griffin's upcoming birthday next month, I've been a little down. I'm chalking it up to homesickness :) I can't think of Grif and Court without thinking of where they are and how much I want to be there too.
Griffin's birthday is July 13 and he would 9! That amazes me. It's so odd to think our boy would be so big if he were still here. Peyton and Griffy's birthdays are less than a week apart and the last birthday Griffy had here, we had a Spongebob party for them both. It was a good day. The kids played in the sprinkler and the pool and Griffin played basketball with our nephews (or "the cousins" as Grif called them). Each year at Peyton's party, we let balloons go. It's Peyton's way of telling Griffin happy birthday. She's already told me not to forget balloons for her party so she can send them to Griffin. Usually we let red balloons go for Grif because he liked red a lot. Last year, she also let an orange one go to send to Court (Courtney was a Longhorn fan, therefore she liked the color orange a lot). We decided to make that a tradition too.
The other day when Court's headstone was set, I got a little upset and began missing Griffin and Courtney more than usual. I was driving home and praying. I told God I was so grateful for the time I had with them and the time I'll have with them again one day, but for that day, I just missed them SO bad. I looked over and there was the prettiest sunset I've seen in a while. And it was orange and red... :) It was another of those moments where my cup runneth over.
Hope everyone is having a great week.
Love,
Marni
Please sign the guestbook and let us know you were here. Peyton loves it when we read her what you wrote.
Kelly, Courtney's Mom, sent me this. Her cousin Jennifer wrote it about Court...
My Hero
Heroes are made of many things,
Some have feet, and some have wings.
Some use brains and others just looks;
Some are live and some found in books.
Some do good deeds by making choices;
Others do theirs by using their voices.
They use their talents to dazzle and reign,
And sometimes must fight with terrible pain.
But heroes they are, one and all;
Just regular people, both large and small.
My hero is so many things,
She once had feet, and now has wings.
Definitely had brains and beautiful looks;
Her trials in life are destined for books.
She did good deeds with lots of charm
Attracted many and did no harm.
Her talents never waxed or waned
Even when going through horrendous pain.
She touched all the lives she met each day
About her, many loving words they say.
Now she’s gone, but not forgotten.
Even though the breaks she had were really rotten,
Watching over her loved ones with a smile on her face,
She sends us her peace, her love and her grace.
With Hope
Steven Curtis Chapman
This is not at all how
We thought it was supposed to be
We had so many plans for you
We had so many dreams
And now you've gone away
And left us with the memories of your smile
And nothing we can say
And nothing we can do
Can take away the pain
The pain of losing you, but ...
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again
And never have I known
Anything so hard to understand
And never have I questioned more
The wisdom of God's plan
But through the cloud of tears
I see the Father's smile and say well done
And I imagine you
Where you wanted most to be
Seeing all your dreams come true
'Cause now you're home
And now you're free
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again
We have this hope as an anchor
'Cause we believe that everything
God promised us is true
So we can cry with hope
And say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place (by God's grace)
where we'll see your face again
We wait with hope...
And we ache with hope...
We hold on with hope...
We let go with hope...
In My Daughter's Eyes
Martina McBride
In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes
And when she wraps her hand around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about
It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daugter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes
Monday, April 2, 2007 9:38 AM CDT
Sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child.
| View | Add FavoriteNew photos of the Children's Cancer fashion show are on the photo page...
More updates soon.
Please sign the guestbook and let us know you were here. Peyton loves it when we read her what you wrote.
Kelly, Courtney's Mom, sent me this. Her cousin Jennifer wrote it about Court...
My Hero
Heroes are made of many things,
Some have feet, and some have wings.
Some use brains and others just looks;
Some are live and some found in books.
Some do good deeds by making choices;
Others do theirs by using their voices.
They use their talents to dazzle and reign,
And sometimes must fight with terrible pain.
But heroes they are, one and all;
Just regular people, both large and small.
My hero is so many things,
She once had feet, and now has wings.
Definitely had brains and beautiful looks;
Her trials in life are destined for books.
She did good deeds with lots of charm
Attracted many and did no harm.
Her talents never waxed or waned
Even when going through horrendous pain.
She touched all the lives she met each day
About her, many loving words they say.
Now she’s gone, but not forgotten.
Even though the breaks she had were really rotten,
Watching over her loved ones with a smile on her face,
She sends us her peace, her love and her grace.
With Hope
Steven Curtis Chapman
This is not at all how
We thought it was supposed to be
We had so many plans for you
We had so many dreams
And now you've gone away
And left us with the memories of your smile
And nothing we can say
And nothing we can do
Can take away the pain
The pain of losing you, but ...
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again
And never have I known
Anything so hard to understand
And never have I questioned more
The wisdom of God's plan
But through the cloud of tears
I see the Father's smile and say well done
And I imagine you
Where you wanted most to be
Seeing all your dreams come true
'Cause now you're home
And now you're free
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again
We have this hope as an anchor
'Cause we believe that everything
God promised us is true
So we can cry with hope
And say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place (by God's grace)
where we'll see your face again
We wait with hope...
And we ache with hope...
We hold on with hope...
We let go with hope...
In My Daughter's Eyes
Martina McBride
In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes
And when she wraps her hand around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about
It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daugter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes
Thursday, March 1, 2007 3:30 PM CST
Sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child.
| View | Add FavoriteMarch 30th is the Children's Cancer Fund Fashion Show. This will be Peyton's second year to participate. She's really excited about seeing her friends again, walking down the runway again and wearing the beautiful scarlet formal she picked out for the event. I promise to post pictures as soon as the event is over.
Peyton is also about to start softball again. Dane will be her head coach this year and she's really excited about that. She and daddy have been practicing a lot in the front yard, especially given the pretty weather we've been having.
Peyton has also started to perfect her golf swing. Our wonderful friend Adrienne gives Peyton lessons when she's not out on tour playing. Peyton shows some real promise and it's fun to watch how well she's doing. She and daddy were at the driving range the other day and after a particularly great shot, and older gentleman approached Dane and asked how old Peyton is. Dane said she's six and the man said "that's some great hitting, especially for a little one!" :)
Hope you guys are doing well. Thank goodness it's almost Spring right? Oh yeah, and Daylight Savings Time starts much earlier this year. On Sunday March 11, don't forget to set your clocks ahead one hour.
Thanks for continuing to check in on us.
Much love,
Marni
PS--Happy birthday Sherrie!! There's no one else I'd rather share my birthday with than you. But how come I have to be the older one huh? ;)
Please sign the guestbook and let us know you were here. Peyton loves it when we read her what you wrote.
Kelly, Courtney's Mom, sent me this. Her cousin Jennifer wrote it about Court...
My Hero
Heroes are made of many things,
Some have feet, and some have wings.
Some use brains and others just looks;
Some are live and some found in books.
Some do good deeds by making choices;
Others do theirs by using their voices.
They use their talents to dazzle and reign,
And sometimes must fight with terrible pain.
But heroes they are, one and all;
Just regular people, both large and small.
My hero is so many things,
She once had feet, and now has wings.
Definitely had brains and beautiful looks;
Her trials in life are destined for books.
She did good deeds with lots of charm
Attracted many and did no harm.
Her talents never waxed or waned
Even when going through horrendous pain.
She touched all the lives she met each day
About her, many loving words they say.
Now she’s gone, but not forgotten.
Even though the breaks she had were really rotten,
Watching over her loved ones with a smile on her face,
She sends us her peace, her love and her grace.
With Hope
Steven Curtis Chapman
This is not at all how
We thought it was supposed to be
We had so many plans for you
We had so many dreams
And now you've gone away
And left us with the memories of your smile
And nothing we can say
And nothing we can do
Can take away the pain
The pain of losing you, but ...
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again
And never have I known
Anything so hard to understand
And never have I questioned more
The wisdom of God's plan
But through the cloud of tears
I see the Father's smile and say well done
And I imagine you
Where you wanted most to be
Seeing all your dreams come true
'Cause now you're home
And now you're free
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again
We have this hope as an anchor
'Cause we believe that everything
God promised us is true
So we can cry with hope
And say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place (by God's grace)
where we'll see your face again
We wait with hope...
And we ache with hope...
We hold on with hope...
We let go with hope...
In My Daughter's Eyes
Martina McBride
In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes
And when she wraps her hand around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about
It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daugter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes
Wednesday, January 3, 2007 11:24 AM CST
Sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child.
| View | Add FavoriteIf I Knew
If I knew it would be the last time
that I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.
If I knew it would be the last time
that I'd see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
and call you back for one more.
If I knew it would be the last time
I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word
so I could play them back day after day.
If I knew it would be the last time,
I would spare an extra minute
to stop and say, "I love you,"
instead of assuming you would know I do.
If I knew it would be the last time,
I would be there to share your day.
I'm sure you'll have so many more,
so I can let just this one slip away.
For surely there's always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight
and we always get a second chance
to make everything just right.
There will always be another day
to say "I love you,"
and certainly there's another chance
to say,"Anything I can do?"
But just in case I might be wrong
and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you
and I hope we never forget.
Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
young or old alike,
and today may be the last chance
you get to hold your loved one tight.
If you're waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you'll surely regret the day
That you didn't take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
and you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out to be their one last wish.
So hold your loved ones close today,
and whisper in their ear.
Tell them how much you love them
and that you'll always hold them dear
Take time to say "I'm sorry,"
"Please forgive me," "Thank you," or "It's okay."
And if tomorrow never comes,
you'll have no regrets about today.
Tomorrow it will be 2 years since Jesus came into that big room at Children's Hospital and said, "Griffin buddy, it's time to go". And there hasn't been a day I haven't thought of or missed Griffy since then. The above poem is a great reminder that we don't have guarantees that those we love will be here tomorrow, so tell them today how you feel.
I'm so grateful God gave us those last days with Griffin to tell him all the things we wanted to say.
I miss you my little man. I can't wait to see you again. Big hugs, big kisses and lots and lots of love...
Marni
Please sign the guestbook and let us know you were here. Peyton loves it when we read her what you wrote.
Kelly, Courtney's Mom, sent me this. Her cousin Jennifer wrote it about Court...
My Hero
Heroes are made of many things,
Some have feet, and some have wings.
Some use brains and others just looks;
Some are live and some found in books.
Some do good deeds by making choices;
Others do theirs by using their voices.
They use their talents to dazzle and reign,
And sometimes must fight with terrible pain.
But heroes they are, one and all;
Just regular people, both large and small.
My hero is so many things,
She once had feet, and now has wings.
Definitely had brains and beautiful looks;
Her trials in life are destined for books.
She did good deeds with lots of charm
Attracted many and did no harm.
Her talents never waxed or waned
Even when going through horrendous pain.
She touched all the lives she met each day
About her, many loving words they say.
Now she’s gone, but not forgotten.
Even though the breaks she had were really rotten,
Watching over her loved ones with a smile on her face,
She sends us her peace, her love and her grace.
With Hope
Steven Curtis Chapman
This is not at all how
We thought it was supposed to be
We had so many plans for you
We had so many dreams
And now you've gone away
And left us with the memories of your smile
And nothing we can say
And nothing we can do
Can take away the pain
The pain of losing you, but ...
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again
And never have I known
Anything so hard to understand
And never have I questioned more
The wisdom of God's plan
But through the cloud of tears
I see the Father's smile and say well done
And I imagine you
Where you wanted most to be
Seeing all your dreams come true
'Cause now you're home
And now you're free
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again
We have this hope as an anchor
'Cause we believe that everything
God promised us is true
So we can cry with hope
And say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place (by God's grace)
where we'll see your face again
We wait with hope...
And we ache with hope...
We hold on with hope...
We let go with hope...
In My Daughter's Eyes
Martina McBride
In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes
And when she wraps her hand around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about
It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daugter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes
Monday, December 18, 2006 11:16 AM CST
Sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child.
| View | Add FavoriteThe first day Peyton began radiation a few days into the year 2004, we met our first of fellow cancer families. The little cancer warriors in these families were two little boys, Derek and Alex. Both were battling forms of brain tumors. Derek was only 10 months old and Alex was 2. Their parents had that same "beat down, but hopeful" look about them that Dane and I had. We saw them both daily for the duration of Peyton's radiation rounds, and as was often the case, we forged friendships with them.
Alex did not receive his chemo at Children's like Peyton did. After radiation ended, we traded emails with our new friends and parted ways. Every so often, we'd hear from big Alex and he'd give us updates on little Alex and each time, the news was good.
Last week, we received a brief email from big Alex. He wrote to tell us God chose to call little Alex Home. I sat at my computer--numb. I wrote Alex back and told him how sorry we are (that always sounds so hollow and useless when you say that to a person who lost their child). On the day we met big Alex, he brought his Bible over to us and showed us a scripture he was clinging to for hope. It was James 5:15 (And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up) I told Alex that although this wasn't the answer we wanted in all the prayers we've been making, God healed little Alex.
Please keep Alex, his wife and other young son in your prayers as they move through this Christmas season without Alex.
Please sign the guestbook and let us know you were here. Peyton loves it when we read her what you wrote.
Kelly, Courtney's Mom, sent me this. Her cousin Jennifer wrote it about Court...
My Hero
Heroes are made of many things,
Some have feet, and some have wings.
Some use brains and others just looks;
Some are live and some found in books.
Some do good deeds by making choices;
Others do theirs by using their voices.
They use their talents to dazzle and reign,
And sometimes must fight with terrible pain.
But heroes they are, one and all;
Just regular people, both large and small.
My hero is so many things,
She once had feet, and now has wings.
Definitely had brains and beautiful looks;
Her trials in life are destined for books.
She did good deeds with lots of charm
Attracted many and did no harm.
Her talents never waxed or waned
Even when going through horrendous pain.
She touched all the lives she met each day
About her, many loving words they say.
Now she’s gone, but not forgotten.
Even though the breaks she had were really rotten,
Watching over her loved ones with a smile on her face,
She sends us her peace, her love and her grace.
With Hope
Steven Curtis Chapman
This is not at all how
We thought it was supposed to be
We had so many plans for you
We had so many dreams
And now you've gone away
And left us with the memories of your smile
And nothing we can say
And nothing we can do
Can take away the pain
The pain of losing you, but ...
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again
And never have I known
Anything so hard to understand
And never have I questioned more
The wisdom of God's plan
But through the cloud of tears
I see the Father's smile and say well done
And I imagine you
Where you wanted most to be
Seeing all your dreams come true
'Cause now you're home
And now you're free
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again
We have this hope as an anchor
'Cause we believe that everything
God promised us is true
So we can cry with hope
And say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place (by God's grace)
where we'll see your face again
We wait with hope...
And we ache with hope...
We hold on with hope...
We let go with hope...
In My Daughter's Eyes
Martina McBride
In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes
And when she wraps her hand around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about
It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daugter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes
Monday, December 11, 2006 12:31 AM CST
Sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child.
| View | Add FavoriteMerry Christmas everyone!! :)
Peyton is doing great! She was named Student of the Month at her school. Her picture, her bio and some of her favorite books, toys and pictures are displayed in the trophy case near the front office. Peyton's teacher nominated Peyton for Student of the Month because she said Peyton goes above and beyond the usual good behavior she expects of her students. So as you can imagine, dad, Lindsay and I are very proud :)
Peyton has asked Santa for dolls and all the doll accessories you can imagine! Lindsay wants Santa to bring her clothes and a stereo system for her room. Dane has been dropping hints about a new smoker. I hope Santa brings it because Dane's grilling and smoking skills benefit all of us :)
Hope you all are getting some Christmas spirit. Remember Jesus is the reason for the season :)
PS--Happy Anniversary sweetie. I love you :)
Please sign the guestbook and let us know you were here. Peyton loves it when we read her what you wrote.
Kelly, Courtney's Mom, sent me this. Her cousin Jennifer wrote it about Court...
My Hero
Heroes are made of many things,
Some have feet, and some have wings.
Some use brains and others just looks;
Some are live and some found in books.
Some do good deeds by making choices;
Others do theirs by using their voices.
They use their talents to dazzle and reign,
And sometimes must fight with terrible pain.
But heroes they are, one and all;
Just regular people, both large and small.
My hero is so many things,
She once had feet, and now has wings.
Definitely had brains and beautiful looks;
Her trials in life are destined for books.
She did good deeds with lots of charm
Attracted many and did no harm.
Her talents never waxed or waned
Even when going through horrendous pain.
She touched all the lives she met each day
About her, many loving words they say.
Now she’s gone, but not forgotten.
Even though the breaks she had were really rotten,
Watching over her loved ones with a smile on her face,
She sends us her peace, her love and her grace.
With Hope
Steven Curtis Chapman
This is not at all how
We thought it was supposed to be
We had so many plans for you
We had so many dreams
And now you've gone away
And left us with the memories of your smile
And nothing we can say
And nothing we can do
Can take away the pain
The pain of losing you, but ...
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again
And never have I known
Anything so hard to understand
And never have I questioned more
The wisdom of God's plan
But through the cloud of tears
I see the Father's smile and say well done
And I imagine you
Where you wanted most to be
Seeing all your dreams come true
'Cause now you're home
And now you're free
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again
We have this hope as an anchor
'Cause we believe that everything
God promised us is true
So we can cry with hope
And say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place (by God's grace)
where we'll see your face again
We wait with hope...
And we ache with hope...
We hold on with hope...
We let go with hope...
In My Daughter's Eyes
Martina McBride
In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes
And when she wraps her hand around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about
It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daugter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes
Monday, December 11, 2006 12:31 AM CST
Sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child.
| View | Add FavoriteMerry Christmas everyone!! :)
Peyton is doing great! She was named Student of the Month at her school. Her picture, her bio and some of her favorite books, toys and pictures are displayed in the trophy case near the front office. Peyton's teacher nominated Peyton for Student of the Month because she said Peyton goes above and beyond the usual good behavior she expects of her students. So as you can imagine, dad, Lindsay and I are very proud :)
Peyton has asked Santa for dolls and all the doll accessories you can imagine! Lindsay wants Santa to bring her clothes and a stereo system for her room. Dane has been dropping hints about a new smoker. I hope Santa brings it because Dane's grilling and smoking skills benefit all of us :)
Hope you all are getting some Christmas spirit. Remember Jesus is the reason for the season :)
Please sign the guestbook and let us know you were here. Peyton loves it when we read her what you wrote.
Kelly, Courtney's Mom, sent me this. Her cousin Jennifer wrote it about Court...
My Hero
Heroes are made of many things,
Some have feet, and some have wings.
Some use brains and others just looks;
Some are live and some found in books.
Some do good deeds by making choices;
Others do theirs by using their voices.
They use their talents to dazzle and reign,
And sometimes must fight with terrible pain.
But heroes they are, one and all;
Just regular people, both large and small.
My hero is so many things,
She once had feet, and now has wings.
Definitely had brains and beautiful looks;
Her trials in life are destined for books.
She did good deeds with lots of charm
Attracted many and did no harm.
Her talents never waxed or waned
Even when going through horrendous pain.
She touched all the lives she met each day
About her, many loving words they say.
Now she’s gone, but not forgotten.
Even though the breaks she had were really rotten,
Watching over her loved ones with a smile on her face,
She sends us her peace, her love and her grace.
With Hope
Steven Curtis Chapman
This is not at all how
We thought it was supposed to be
We had so many plans for you
We had so many dreams
And now you've gone away
And left us with the memories of your smile
And nothing we can say
And nothing we can do
Can take away the pain
The pain of losing you, but ...
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again
And never have I known
Anything so hard to understand
And never have I questioned more
The wisdom of God's plan
But through the cloud of tears
I see the Father's smile and say well done
And I imagine you
Where you wanted most to be
Seeing all your dreams come true
'Cause now you're home
And now you're free
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again
We have this hope as an anchor
'Cause we believe that everything
God promised us is true
So we can cry with hope
And say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place (by God's grace)
where we'll see your face again
We wait with hope...
And we ache with hope...
We hold on with hope...
We let go with hope...
In My Daughter's Eyes
Martina McBride
In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes
And when she wraps her hand around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about
It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daugter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes
Monday, November 20, 2006 9:40 AM CST
Sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child.
| View | Add FavoriteOne year ago today, I held your hand, whispered a few last things I wanted to say to you and we released you back to the loving and sovereign God who loaned you to us for a short while. It's been so hard living the rest of our lives without you, but the lessons God has taught us are invaluable.
"...The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away. May the name of the Lord be praised." Job 1:21
We love you. We miss you. We're eagerly awaiting the reunion, hearing all your stories and the tour of Heaven you'll give us.
And I'm finding the JOY each day just like I promised you I would. Love you for always and forever.
m
Please sign the guestbook and let us know you were here. Peyton loves it when we read her what you wrote.
Kelly, Courtney's Mom, sent me this. Her cousin Jennifer wrote it about Court...
My Hero
Heroes are made of many things,
Some have feet, and some have wings.
Some use brains and others just looks;
Some are live and some found in books.
Some do good deeds by making choices;
Others do theirs by using their voices.
They use their talents to dazzle and reign,
And sometimes must fight with terrible pain.
But heroes they are, one and all;
Just regular people, both large and small.
My hero is so many things,
She once had feet, and now has wings.
Definitely had brains and beautiful looks;
Her trials in life are destined for books.
She did good deeds with lots of charm
Attracted many and did no harm.
Her talents never waxed or waned
Even when going through horrendous pain.
She touched all the lives she met each day
About her, many loving words they say.
Now she’s gone, but not forgotten.
Even though the breaks she had were really rotten,
Watching over her loved ones with a smile on her face,
She sends us her peace, her love and her grace.
With Hope
Steven Curtis Chapman
This is not at all how
We thought it was supposed to be
We had so many plans for you
We had so many dreams
And now you've gone away
And left us with the memories of your smile
And nothing we can say
And nothing we can do
Can take away the pain
The pain of losing you, but ...
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again
And never have I known
Anything so hard to understand
And never have I questioned more
The wisdom of God's plan
But through the cloud of tears
I see the Father's smile and say well done
And I imagine you
Where you wanted most to be
Seeing all your dreams come true
'Cause now you're home
And now you're free
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again
We have this hope as an anchor
'Cause we believe that everything
God promised us is true
So we can cry with hope
And say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place (by God's grace)
where we'll see your face again
We wait with hope...
And we ache with hope...
We hold on with hope...
We let go with hope...
In My Daughter's Eyes
Martina McBride
In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes
And when she wraps her hand around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about
It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daugter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes
Thursday, October 26, 2006 11:58 AM CDT
Sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child.
| View | Add FavoriteThank you for the emails, phone calls and text messages and prayers for us and the Howard Family yesterday. Dane, Lindsay, Peyton and I went to see Court's family and to have dinner and hang out.
We released lots and lots of orange balloons (Hook Em'!) for Court. We wrote messages on most of them. Peyton wrote on 4 of them. In each one, she said, "I love you Court". One of them she said "You are my best friend. I miss you" I wrote on one of them and said "I miss you and I love you. I'll see you at the Gate". Courtney and I used to talk about Heaven all the time and when we did, we promised whoever got there first would meet the others of us at the Gates of Heaven. I can't tell you how much I look forward to that day!!
I took some pictures of us releasing the balloons, but I haven't uploaded them. I'll add them to the photo page and the slide show very soon though.
Kelly told me several of Court's friends did balloon releases too. I wish I could explain to those who didn't know Courtney how many friends she had! :) Many of them are scattered all over the place due to college, their jobs or family. But yesterday, so, so, so many of them took time to remember her by sending up orange balloons just like we did at her Celebration of Life service. Kelly was so happy to hear the reports rolling in of all the balloon releases. It was another reminder of how many lives Courtney and her amazing faith touched in the short time she was here.
Thanks for checking in...
Love,
Marni
Please sign the guestbook and let us know you were here. Peyton loves it when we read her what you wrote.
Kelly, Courtney's Mom, sent me this. Her cousin Jennifer wrote it about Court...
My Hero
Heroes are made of many things,
Some have feet, and some have wings.
Some use brains and others just looks;
Some are live and some found in books.
Some do good deeds by making choices;
Others do theirs by using their voices.
They use their talents to dazzle and reign,
And sometimes must fight with terrible pain.
But heroes they are, one and all;
Just regular people, both large and small.
My hero is so many things,
She once had feet, and now has wings.
Definitely had brains and beautiful looks;
Her trials in life are destined for books.
She did good deeds with lots of charm
Attracted many and did no harm.
Her talents never waxed or waned
Even when going through horrendous pain.
She touched all the lives she met each day
About her, many loving words they say.
Now she’s gone, but not forgotten.
Even though the breaks she had were really rotten,
Watching over her loved ones with a smile on her face,
She sends us her peace, her love and her grace.
With Hope
Steven Curtis Chapman
This is not at all how
We thought it was supposed to be
We had so many plans for you
We had so many dreams
And now you've gone away
And left us with the memories of your smile
And nothing we can say
And nothing we can do
Can take away the pain
The pain of losing you, but ...
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again
And never have I known
Anything so hard to understand
And never have I questioned more
The wisdom of God's plan
But through the cloud of tears
I see the Father's smile and say well done
And I imagine you
Where you wanted most to be
Seeing all your dreams come true
'Cause now you're home
And now you're free
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again
We have this hope as an anchor
'Cause we believe that everything
God promised us is true
So we can cry with hope
And say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place (by God's grace)
where we'll see your face again
We wait with hope...
And we ache with hope...
We hold on with hope...
We let go with hope...
In My Daughter's Eyes
Martina McBride
In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes
And when she wraps her hand around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about
It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daugter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes
Tuesday, October 17, 2006 1:07 PM CDT
Sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child.
| View | Add FavoriteSorry about the long lapse in updates--it's because we are crazy busy around here!!
Peyton has decided to be a bride for Halloween. My mom bought her a really cute costume and Peyton is FIRED UP about wearing it. She gets to wear it to 5 different functions (plus trick or treating) as Halloween nears, so she's excited. I'll have pictures up soon.
On another note, Wednesday October 25th would be Courtney's 21st birthday. Between that and the approaching 1 year anniversary of when Courtney went to go live in glory (November 20), my family and the Howard family are missing her more than usual. About this time last year, I asked all of you who knew or knew of Courtney to leave her a birthday message. If you'd like to start leaving messages this year for Courtney's family, I'd be grateful. They check this page frequently and I would love to see them blessed by reading about a memory you have of Courtney or just reading encouraging words that they are not alone in their grief until they see Court again.
Last year I listed some memories about Courtney for her birthday. This year, I want to share what I've learned since Courtney left to go be with Jesus:
--I've learned that God's grace is more than sufficient.
--I've learned that God can bring SO much good from SO much bad.
--I've learned that Courtney was a gift we were only intended to have for a short time, but if we'd never had her here, how else would we have the promise of eternity with her?
--I've learned that God's timing is so immensely perfect that I can't give it human terms. And His timing never ceases to stun me.
--I've learned that God can take the grieving, shattered hearts of others that love her and use that pain to work miracles in their lives.
--I've learned that the bond Dane, Lindsay, Peyton and I have is a heck of a lot stronger than I ever gave it credit for.
--I've learned that when my heart breaks, it not only can be restored, but restored to a stronger state than it was before (isn't that right Brit??)
--I've learned when my pain was turned outward in an attempt to help others with their pain, mine somehow diminished.
--I've learned that I NEVER would have known and began to love God the way I do now if I hadn't had Him and ONLY Him to throw myself at when the pain of losing Courtney overwhelmed me.
Happy 21st sweet girl. We miss you each day, but more bigger than the pain of missing you is the joy we have that you are with the Savior you love so much. Are His ball skills all you thought they would be?? :)
Go to Griffin's page to help Mo and Blakey with their Light the Night team to fight Leukemia.
Please sign the guestbook and let us know you were here. Peyton loves it when we read her what you wrote.
Kelly, Courtney's Mom, sent me this. Her cousin Jennifer wrote it about Court...
My Hero
Heroes are made of many things,
Some have feet, and some have wings.
Some use brains and others just looks;
Some are live and some found in books.
Some do good deeds by making choices;
Others do theirs by using their voices.
They use their talents to dazzle and reign,
And sometimes must fight with terrible pain.
But heroes they are, one and all;
Just regular people, both large and small.
My hero is so many things,
She once had feet, and now has wings.
Definitely had brains and beautiful looks;
Her trials in life are destined for books.
She did good deeds with lots of charm
Attracted many and did no harm.
Her talents never waxed or waned
Even when going through horrendous pain.
She touched all the lives she met each day
About her, many loving words they say.
Now she’s gone, but not forgotten.
Even though the breaks she had were really rotten,
Watching over her loved ones with a smile on her face,
She sends us her peace, her love and her grace.
With Hope
Steven Curtis Chapman
This is not at all how
We thought it was supposed to be
We had so many plans for you
We had so many dreams
And now you've gone away
And left us with the memories of your smile
And nothing we can say
And nothing we can do
Can take away the pain
The pain of losing you, but ...
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again
And never have I known
Anything so hard to understand
And never have I questioned more
The wisdom of God's plan
But through the cloud of tears
I see the Father's smile and say well done
And I imagine you
Where you wanted most to be
Seeing all your dreams come true
'Cause now you're home
And now you're free
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again
We have this hope as an anchor
'Cause we believe that everything
God promised us is true
So we can cry with hope
And say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place (by God's grace)
where we'll see your face again
We wait with hope...
And we ache with hope...
We hold on with hope...
We let go with hope...
In My Daughter's Eyes
Martina McBride
In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes
And when she wraps her hand around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about
It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daugter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes
Wednesday, September 20, 2006 10:04 AM CDT
Sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child.
| View | Add FavoriteThank you God...it's 24 hours from being Autumn here :) Poor North Texas took a beating this summer from the heat. We are in a terrible drought and water rations are everywhere. Some of our lakes are 10 or more feet low. Someone sent me list of "How you know you're from Texas" recently. One of them really cracked me up. It said. "The 4 seasons in Texas are: Almost summer, summer, just done with summer and January :) Lately, we've cooled off and the worst of the heat is mercifully behind us for another summer. And even better...the humidity is gone!! If you've seen any pictures of me, you'll see that I'm "blessed" with long curly hair. Humidity is NOT my friend. From roughly June to October, I look like Rosanna Rosanna Danna (those of you who are old like me are probably getting a kick out that image. For you young un's who don't know who she is...ask someone over the age of 30!!)
We've been crazy-busy around our house. Peyton and her friends from our neighborhood are out everyday on their scooters and bikes racing up and down the sidewalks and enjoying the nice weather. We have to practically beg her to come in to eat dinner each night. Peyton and her friend Dylan are in a neat Bible-based children's program at a local church. She and Dylan got matching Bibles and each week they memorize their new Bible verse and enjoy a great time at church with other kids their age. It works out well since there is a ladies Bible study going on at the same time, so I've been attending that while the kids are in their class. It's nice being back in a structered Bible Study. I really miss the Wednesday morning one I did for 3 years. Now that I'm working, I can't make it anymore. Right after I started working back in January, our pastor said to Peyton, "I didn't see you and mom at Bible Study today". He was just teasing her since he knew I had a new job and Peyton's Christmas break was over. She put her hands on her hips and said, "Wes, my mommy has a job now. She doesn't read the Bible anymore!" He laughed so hard I could hear him from down the hall :)
Lindsay is doing well too. She's really loving school this year--I can't believe she's a Sophomore. Whoever says time moves so slowly must not have children...especially children who are now eligible for Driver's Ed (cue scary music). She's already pointing out cars she wants us to buy her. As we're driving down the road she'll see something she likes and will say "Ooooh, look at that. I want THAT kind of car" and I'll say something like "Ooooh. You're right, that's cute. I hear Taco Bell is hiring" and she rolls her eyes at me... :)
Lindsay is taking a whopper of a curriculum load this semester. She's in all advanced placement classes except math. She's also taking weight training. That cracks me up because Lindsay is SO girly, but she loves it. She lifts and runs a few times a week. I'm so proud of her. I would have taken an elective that let me "rest on my laurels" if you get my drift!
Paige is doing well too. She's so busy so we've hardly seen her in these last months. She's involved in all kinds of sports and that keeps her super-busy. We're looking forward to basketball season starting up soon, then we'll get to see her more when we come to her games :)
And in exciting news on the Howard family front...Britney, Courtney and Paige's older sister, got married a few weeks ago to her long-time love Scottie. We are so happy for them both and I know Courtney is so happy to see Britney so happy.
That's about it for now. I'll have some more great pictures up soon of a much-anticipated reunion this weekend. Our dear friend Amanda (one of Peyton's former nurses at Children's) is coming into town with her "just home from Iraq" fiance, David. We're all getting together for dinner this weekend and I can't wait for Amanda to see how big Peyton is and all the great hair she's grown back :)
Have a great week
Love,
Marni
Go to Griffin's page to help Mo and Blakey with their Light the Night team to fight Leukemia.
Please sign the guestbook and let us know you were here. Peyton loves it when we read her what you wrote.
Kelly, Courtney's Mom, sent me this. Her cousin Jennifer wrote it about Court...
My Hero
Heroes are made of many things,
Some have feet, and some have wings.
Some use brains and others just looks;
Some are live and some found in books.
Some do good deeds by making choices;
Others do theirs by using their voices.
They use their talents to dazzle and reign,
And sometimes must fight with terrible pain.
But heroes they are, one and all;
Just regular people, both large and small.
My hero is so many things,
She once had feet, and now has wings.
Definitely had brains and beautiful looks;
Her trials in life are destined for books.
She did good deeds with lots of charm
Attracted many and did no harm.
Her talents never waxed or waned
Even when going through horrendous pain.
She touched all the lives she met each day
About her, many loving words they say.
Now she’s gone, but not forgotten.
Even though the breaks she had were really rotten,
Watching over her loved ones with a smile on her face,
She sends us her peace, her love and her grace.
With Hope
Steven Curtis Chapman
This is not at all how
We thought it was supposed to be
We had so many plans for you
We had so many dreams
And now you've gone away
And left us with the memories of your smile
And nothing we can say
And nothing we can do
Can take away the pain
The pain of losing you, but ...
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again
And never have I known
Anything so hard to understand
And never have I questioned more
The wisdom of God's plan
But through the cloud of tears
I see the Father's smile and say well done
And I imagine you
Where you wanted most to be
Seeing all your dreams come true
'Cause now you're home
And now you're free
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again
We have this hope as an anchor
'Cause we believe that everything
God promised us is true
So we can cry with hope
And say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place (by God's grace)
where we'll see your face again
We wait with hope...
And we ache with hope...
We hold on with hope...
We let go with hope...
In My Daughter's Eyes
Martina McBride
In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes
And when she wraps her hand around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about
It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daugter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes
Friday, September 1, 2006 2:13 PM CDT
Sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child.
| View | Add FavoritePeyton LOVES first grade. She's in class with her friend Sydney whom she's known since birth! :) Today, Peyton was chosen as Class Leader. She was so excited. Class Leader gets to lead the lines to gym, lunch, art, etc. Class Leader also gets to pass out class supplies and pick out the book for storytime. But Peyton's favorite as Class Leader; she gets to bring a show and tell item to school. Peyton took her very first Build A Bear (she has 7!) and told the story about her first trip to Build A Bear with Aunt Stephanie.
The Children's Cancer Fund has announced it's next fashion show theme, date, and location. This year's show will be called "Rays of Sunshine and Hope". The show will be held at the Hyatt Regency Reunion in Dallas on March 30, 2007. For more details, click here.
Peyton will be a model again this year so we are excited about that. After that, Peyton will get to participate in the show year after year as a survivor!! Tickets are a little pricey (but so worth it!) so I wanted to let everyone know about the event now so you can start planning.
Go to Griffin's page to help Mo and Blakey with their Light the Night team to fight Leukemia.
That's it for now. Hope everyone has a great holiday weekend.
Love,
Marni
Please sign the guestbook and let us know you were here. Peyton loves it when we read her what you wrote.
Kelly, Courtney's Mom, sent me this. Her cousin Jennifer wrote it about Court...
My Hero
Heroes are made of many things,
Some have feet, and some have wings.
Some use brains and others just looks;
Some are live and some found in books.
Some do good deeds by making choices;
Others do theirs by using their voices.
They use their talents to dazzle and reign,
And sometimes must fight with terrible pain.
But heroes they are, one and all;
Just regular people, both large and small.
My hero is so many things,
She once had feet, and now has wings.
Definitely had brains and beautiful looks;
Her trials in life are destined for books.
She did good deeds with lots of charm
Attracted many and did no harm.
Her talents never waxed or waned
Even when going through horrendous pain.
She touched all the lives she met each day
About her, many loving words they say.
Now she’s gone, but not forgotten.
Even though the breaks she had were really rotten,
Watching over her loved ones with a smile on her face,
She sends us her peace, her love and her grace.
With Hope
Steven Curtis Chapman
This is not at all how
We thought it was supposed to be
We had so many plans for you
We had so many dreams
And now you've gone away
And left us with the memories of your smile
And nothing we can say
And nothing we can do
Can take away the pain
The pain of losing you, but ...
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again
And never have I known
Anything so hard to understand
And never have I questioned more
The wisdom of God's plan
But through the cloud of tears
I see the Father's smile and say well done
And I imagine you
Where you wanted most to be
Seeing all your dreams come true
'Cause now you're home
And now you're free
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again
We have this hope as an anchor
'Cause we believe that everything
God promised us is true
So we can cry with hope
And say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place (by God's grace)
where we'll see your face again
We wait with hope...
And we ache with hope...
We hold on with hope...
We let go with hope...
In My Daughter's Eyes
Martina McBride
In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes
And when she wraps her hand around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about
It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daugter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes
Thursday, August 17, 2006 9:02 AM CDT
Sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child.
| View | Add FavoriteNew Pictures!!!
My friend Dena and I have had this running inside joke we have been doing since Peyton got sick. One of us will call or email the other and say, "God is good, all the time!" and the other will say "All the time, God is good!" I just called Dena to say that again this morning because Dr. Bowers called with wonderful news about Peyton's scans. Not only are the clear of tumors, but the bone loss he was quite concerned with, is non-existent!! Even the place on her ankle is "mysteriously" gone :)
Peyton is now a full-fledged member of the ACE (After Cancer Experience)program and will only be seen in clinic and for follow-up scans....ONCE A YEAR!! We told Peyton last night that she will be 7 years old before she is scanned again. You should have seen her face!! She was just so happy!
Thank you all for the prayers. Thank You, my Lord, for knocking this one out of the park! I know Your Word says You delight in our delight. I was just thankful to hear it wasn't relapse, but to find out You took the bone loss issue away too, blows me away. I've been delighting in the news and in You and I'm so glad You know that!!!
Love,
Marni
Please sign the guestbook and let us know you were here. Peyton loves it when we read her what you wrote.
Kelly, Courtney's Mom, sent me this. Her cousin Jennifer wrote it about Court...
My Hero
Heroes are made of many things,
Some have feet, and some have wings.
Some use brains and others just looks;
Some are live and some found in books.
Some do good deeds by making choices;
Others do theirs by using their voices.
They use their talents to dazzle and reign,
And sometimes must fight with terrible pain.
But heroes they are, one and all;
Just regular people, both large and small.
My hero is so many things,
She once had feet, and now has wings.
Definitely had brains and beautiful looks;
Her trials in life are destined for books.
She did good deeds with lots of charm
Attracted many and did no harm.
Her talents never waxed or waned
Even when going through horrendous pain.
She touched all the lives she met each day
About her, many loving words they say.
Now she’s gone, but not forgotten.
Even though the breaks she had were really rotten,
Watching over her loved ones with a smile on her face,
She sends us her peace, her love and her grace.
With Hope
Steven Curtis Chapman
This is not at all how
We thought it was supposed to be
We had so many plans for you
We had so many dreams
And now you've gone away
And left us with the memories of your smile
And nothing we can say
And nothing we can do
Can take away the pain
The pain of losing you, but ...
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again
And never have I known
Anything so hard to understand
And never have I questioned more
The wisdom of God's plan
But through the cloud of tears
I see the Father's smile and say well done
And I imagine you
Where you wanted most to be
Seeing all your dreams come true
'Cause now you're home
And now you're free
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again
We have this hope as an anchor
'Cause we believe that everything
God promised us is true
So we can cry with hope
And say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place (by God's grace)
where we'll see your face again
We wait with hope...
And we ache with hope...
We hold on with hope...
We let go with hope...
In My Daughter's Eyes
Martina McBride
In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes
And when she wraps her hand around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about
It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daugter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes
Monday, August 7, 2006 12:17 AM CDT
Sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child.
Peyton had a GREAT time at camp! She said her favorite parts were swimming, making crafts and when a plane flew overhead and dropped candy down into a field for the kids to run around and collect. Peyton said it was like "a big pinata!!" She came home with tons of dirty laundry, great pictures, loads of gifts from the generous donors of Camp Esperanza, and happy memories she'll keep for years and years to come! She can't wait to go back next year. Peyton also says hi to her friend Averi and says she had so much fun with you and thanks for being her camp buddy :) I should have pictures up soon. A big thanks to Ms. Jennifer who took HUNDREDS of pictures and burned them onto CD's for her girls. They are wonderful!
Peyton goes in next week for follow-up scans. We won't have clinic afterward, so Dr. Bowers will call us with the results. I'll update about it when we know more. Please keep the scan day and results in your prayers.
Love,
Marni
Please sign the guestbook and let us know you were here. Peyton loves it when we read her what you wrote.
Kelly, Courtney's Mom, sent me this. Her cousin Jennifer wrote it about Court...
My Hero
Heroes are made of many things,
Some have feet, and some have wings.
Some use brains and others just looks;
Some are live and some found in books.
Some do good deeds by making choices;
Others do theirs by using their voices.
They use their talents to dazzle and reign,
And sometimes must fight with terrible pain.
But heroes they are, one and all;
Just regular people, both large and small.
My hero is so many things,
She once had feet, and now has wings.
Definitely had brains and beautiful looks;
Her trials in life are destined for books.
She did good deeds with lots of charm
Attracted many and did no harm.
Her talents never waxed or waned
Even when going through horrendous pain.
She touched all the lives she met each day
About her, many loving words they say.
Now she’s gone, but not forgotten.
Even though the breaks she had were really rotten,
Watching over her loved ones with a smile on her face,
She sends us her peace, her love and her grace.
With Hope
Steven Curtis Chapman
This is not at all how
We thought it was supposed to be
We had so many plans for you
We had so many dreams
And now you've gone away
And left us with the memories of your smile
And nothing we can say
And nothing we can do
Can take away the pain
The pain of losing you, but ...
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again
And never have I known
Anything so hard to understand
And never have I questioned more
The wisdom of God's plan
But through the cloud of tears
I see the Father's smile and say well done
And I imagine you
Where you wanted most to be
Seeing all your dreams come true
'Cause now you're home
And now you're free
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again
We have this hope as an anchor
'Cause we believe that everything
God promised us is true
So we can cry with hope
And say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place (by God's grace)
where we'll see your face again
We wait with hope...
And we ache with hope...
We hold on with hope...
We let go with hope...
In My Daughter's Eyes
Martina McBride
In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes
And when she wraps her hand around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about
It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daugter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes
Wednesday, July 26, 2006 12:33 AM CDT
Sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child.
New pictures on the photo page...
Peyton is at camp!! I can't believe it :) She was so excited to go and I just know she's having a blast! I sent a couple of camera's with her, so the resulting pictures should be a hoot!
Still no appointment set for her follow-up scans, but we'll be in soon enough. I'll update more later. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy the new picture collage of our beautiful, heroic girls :)
Love,
Marni
Please sign the guestbook and let us know you were here. Peyton loves it when we read her what you wrote.
Kelly, Courtney's Mom, sent me this. Her cousin Jennifer wrote it about Court...
My Hero
Heroes are made of many things,
Some have feet, and some have wings.
Some use brains and others just looks;
Some are live and some found in books.
Some do good deeds by making choices;
Others do theirs by using their voices.
They use their talents to dazzle and reign,
And sometimes must fight with terrible pain.
But heroes they are, one and all;
Just regular people, both large and small.
My hero is so many things,
She once had feet, and now has wings.
Definitely had brains and beautiful looks;
Her trials in life are destined for books.
She did good deeds with lots of charm
Attracted many and did no harm.
Her talents never waxed or waned
Even when going through horrendous pain.
She touched all the lives she met each day
About her, many loving words they say.
Now she’s gone, but not forgotten.
Even though the breaks she had were really rotten,
Watching over her loved ones with a smile on her face,
She sends us her peace, her love and her grace.
With Hope
Steven Curtis Chapman
This is not at all how
We thought it was supposed to be
We had so many plans for you
We had so many dreams
And now you've gone away
And left us with the memories of your smile
And nothing we can say
And nothing we can do
Can take away the pain
The pain of losing you, but ...
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again
And never have I known
Anything so hard to understand
And never have I questioned more
The wisdom of God's plan
But through the cloud of tears
I see the Father's smile and say well done
And I imagine you
Where you wanted most to be
Seeing all your dreams come true
'Cause now you're home
And now you're free
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again
We have this hope as an anchor
'Cause we believe that everything
God promised us is true
So we can cry with hope
And say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place (by God's grace)
where we'll see your face again
We wait with hope...
And we ache with hope...
We hold on with hope...
We let go with hope...
In My Daughter's Eyes
Martina McBride
In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes
And when she wraps her hand around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about
It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daugter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes
Wednesday, July 19, 2006 1:44 PM CDT
Sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child.
Peyton had her birthday party this weekend. We had a party at the park and then walked next door to a little water park and hung out there the rest of the afternoon. It was the world's shortest outdoor party because it was 104 degrees here on Saturday with what I am positive was 1000 umidity!! :) If you don't believe me, look at the photo page. It was so humid, the pictures are cloudy due to the moisture built up on my camera.
Peyton called it her "best day ever" since she had all her friends with her to play with. I don't think she even noticed the presents, the food, the decorations or anything else. She was just so happy to have her friends around and to be swimming with them!
Big hugs and kisses to Susan, Peyton's Chemo Angel. She sent Peyton Sky Dancers and Peyton LOVES them. Be watching Susan. Peyton has something for you too and it will be in the mail soon. Thanks for remembering her special day. You should have seen her face when she saw the package on our doorstep. She recognized your handwriting and the stickers you always put on her packages and got so excited when she realized you remembered her birthday.
Sorry for the short update. I'll have more soon. Still no word on scans yet, but it's looking like it will be early August before they get her in.
Please sign the guestbook and let us know you were here. Peyton loves it when we read her what you wrote.
Kelly, Courtney's Mom, sent me this. Her cousin Jennifer wrote it about Court...
My Hero
Heroes are made of many things,
Some have feet, and some have wings.
Some use brains and others just looks;
Some are live and some found in books.
Some do good deeds by making choices;
Others do theirs by using their voices.
They use their talents to dazzle and reign,
And sometimes must fight with terrible pain.
But heroes they are, one and all;
Just regular people, both large and small.
My hero is so many things,
She once had feet, and now has wings.
Definitely had brains and beautiful looks;
Her trials in life are destined for books.
She did good deeds with lots of charm
Attracted many and did no harm.
Her talents never waxed or waned
Even when going through horrendous pain.
She touched all the lives she met each day
About her, many loving words they say.
Now she’s gone, but not forgotten.
Even though the breaks she had were really rotten,
Watching over her loved ones with a smile on her face,
She sends us her peace, her love and her grace.
With Hope
Steven Curtis Chapman
This is not at all how
We thought it was supposed to be
We had so many plans for you
We had so many dreams
And now you've gone away
And left us with the memories of your smile
And nothing we can say
And nothing we can do
Can take away the pain
The pain of losing you, but ...
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again
And never have I known
Anything so hard to understand
And never have I questioned more
The wisdom of God's plan
But through the cloud of tears
I see the Father's smile and say well done
And I imagine you
Where you wanted most to be
Seeing all your dreams come true
'Cause now you're home
And now you're free
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again
We have this hope as an anchor
'Cause we believe that everything
God promised us is true
So we can cry with hope
And say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place (by God's grace)
where we'll see your face again
We wait with hope...
And we ache with hope...
We hold on with hope...
We let go with hope...
In My Daughter's Eyes
Martina McBride
In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes
And when she wraps her hand around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about
It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daugter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes
Wednesday, July 12, 2006 10:39 AM CDT
Sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child.
Peyton had scans yesterday. In the tradition of not having normal scan days anymore, Peyton scans indicated the bone loss she is suffering in her right ankle could be more extensive since the scans picked up abnormalities in her hips. Dr. Bowers ordered more scans to get to the bottom of what he is seeing on the scans. When we know more, we'll update. Scans will be sometime before the month is out.
Next entry, I'll have pictures of Peyton's birthday party.
Tomorrow would be Griffin's 8th birthday if he were still with us. Please pray for the Yarbrough family as birthday's are tough for them to get through. Happy birthday my big boy. I know this one will be extra fun since Courtney is with you. Watch for your balloons we'll send you and know we love and miss you so much. We can't wait to spend your birthday's with you again one day...
Please sign the guestbook and let us know you were here. Peyton loves it when we read her what you wrote.
Kelly, Courtney's Mom, sent me this. Her cousin Jennifer wrote it about Court...
My Hero
Heroes are made of many things,
Some have feet, and some have wings.
Some use brains and others just looks;
Some are live and some found in books.
Some do good deeds by making choices;
Others do theirs by using their voices.
They use their talents to dazzle and reign,
And sometimes must fight with terrible pain.
But heroes they are, one and all;
Just regular people, both large and small.
My hero is so many things,
She once had feet, and now has wings.
Definitely had brains and beautiful looks;
Her trials in life are destined for books.
She did good deeds with lots of charm
Attracted many and did no harm.
Her talents never waxed or waned
Even when going through horrendous pain.
She touched all the lives she met each day
About her, many loving words they say.
Now she’s gone, but not forgotten.
Even though the breaks she had were really rotten,
Watching over her loved ones with a smile on her face,
She sends us her peace, her love and her grace.
With Hope
Steven Curtis Chapman
This is not at all how
We thought it was supposed to be
We had so many plans for you
We had so many dreams
And now you've gone away
And left us with the memories of your smile
And nothing we can say
And nothing we can do
Can take away the pain
The pain of losing you, but ...
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again
And never have I known
Anything so hard to understand
And never have I questioned more
The wisdom of God's plan
But through the cloud of tears
I see the Father's smile and say well done
And I imagine you
Where you wanted most to be
Seeing all your dreams come true
'Cause now you're home
And now you're free
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again
We have this hope as an anchor
'Cause we believe that everything
God promised us is true
So we can cry with hope
And say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place (by God's grace)
where we'll see your face again
We wait with hope...
And we ache with hope...
We hold on with hope...
We let go with hope...
In My Daughter's Eyes
Martina McBride
In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes
And when she wraps her hand around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about
It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daugter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes
Wednesday, June 28, 2006 12:27 AM CDT
Sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child.
UPDATE: Peyton's doctor called. She is scheduled for her next set of scans on July 11th. We will have the results that day. Since Peyton scared us last time, we'd appreciate your prayers. Thanks so much.
Hello again.
On Friday July 7, we're going to have a 6 year old big girl in our house! Peyton is looking forward to being 6. What is it with that number? Lindsay thought turning 6 was the ultimate too :)
We're still narrowing down what she wants for her party, but the common theme seems to be something with water--swim party, water park, etc. We'll see what Princess decides on!
Peyton has been talking a lot lately about how she and Griffin will both be 6. She asked me recently if Grif is still 6 and I said, "Yes, forever and ever Griffy will be six." She said, "Do you think Griffin thinks it's cool that we're both going to be six?" I told her he's getting a big kick out of that.
Peyton and Griffin's birthdays are less than a week apart. Peyton always liked that their birthdays are so close together, so this year to celebrate, she wants to let 6 balloons go on her birthday and 6 more go on Griffin's birthday. It's her way of celebrating their special days and she knows Griffy LOVES balloons.
It's been crazy around our house lately. Lindsay has friends over a lot since it's summer. It's nice to have them over. Yes, they're messy, yes they eat all the food, but they fill the house with noise, laughing and music. It's good for me :)
I've been missing Courtney a lot this last week. We got the license plates in for her cool Mustang. We had them personalized and she would have loved them...Kelly entered the Mustang in a car show. It took First Place, Best Paint Job and the People's Choice award :) It just makes Dane and I so happy to see Kelly and the rest of Court's family enjoying the car. It's not there yet, but Kelly tells me there should be a picture and small article about the car show by today's edition of their local paper. Go here to look for the article.
Last week I was cleaning out the entertainment center in the living room. I was digging in one of the cabinets and found an envelope from a local photo developer. I rarely get pictures developed since we have a digital camera and printer, so I was trying to remember what was in there. I opened it up and it was full of treasures :) Several pictures of Courtney and Elisha and a Spiderman Club membership card Griffin gave me once since I was a member of his club. Those of you who knew Grif know he was all about putting people in his club. And if you were really lucky, he bestowed super-hero powers on you. I got an invite to the super-hero club because, and I quote, "Marni, you can burp really good for a girl". (I can't believe I just told everyone that, but now my secret is out. So very lady like huh??) So Griffin gave me a Spiderman membership card he had to commemmorate my entrance to the club. I was SO excited to find it and the pictures :) It was like Christmas morning when I found the envelope with all the goodies that remind me of my angels :) God is so good ya'll!!
I scanned in the pictures and have posted a few of them. Hope everyone has a great week.
Love,
Marni
Please sign the guestbook and let us know you were here. Peyton loves it when we read her what you wrote.
Kelly, Courtney's Mom, sent me this. Her cousin Jennifer wrote it about Court...
My Hero
Heroes are made of many things,
Some have feet, and some have wings.
Some use brains and others just looks;
Some are live and some found in books.
Some do good deeds by making choices;
Others do theirs by using their voices.
They use their talents to dazzle and reign,
And sometimes must fight with terrible pain.
But heroes they are, one and all;
Just regular people, both large and small.
My hero is so many things,
She once had feet, and now has wings.
Definitely had brains and beautiful looks;
Her trials in life are destined for books.
She did good deeds with lots of charm
Attracted many and did no harm.
Her talents never waxed or waned
Even when going through horrendous pain.
She touched all the lives she met each day
About her, many loving words they say.
Now she’s gone, but not forgotten.
Even though the breaks she had were really rotten,
Watching over her loved ones with a smile on her face,
She sends us her peace, her love and her grace.
With Hope
Steven Curtis Chapman
This is not at all how
We thought it was supposed to be
We had so many plans for you
We had so many dreams
And now you've gone away
And left us with the memories of your smile
And nothing we can say
And nothing we can do
Can take away the pain
The pain of losing you, but ...
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again
And never have I known
Anything so hard to understand
And never have I questioned more
The wisdom of God's plan
But through the cloud of tears
I see the Father's smile and say well done
And I imagine you
Where you wanted most to be
Seeing all your dreams come true
'Cause now you're home
And now you're free
We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again
We have this hope as an anchor
'Cause we believe that everything
God promised us is true
So we can cry with hope
And say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
There's a place (by God's grace)
where we'll see your face again
We wait with hope...
And we ache with hope...
We hold on with hope...
We let go with hope...
In My Daughter's Eyes
Martina McBride
In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes
And when she wraps her hand around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about
It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daugter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes
Monday, June 19, 2006 12:16 AM CDT
Sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child.
Hi everyone. This weekend was an emotional one but a good one too.
We were at Children's Hospital on Saturday for a Camp meeting. Peyton will going to camp with other cancer kids soon and we had a meeting to meet Peyton's counselors and the other kids going. The meeting was fun. Peyton knows 3 other kids who are going and one of her buddies, Averi, will be in the same cabin. If Peyton wasn't excited about
camp before, she sure is now!! We watched a video of all the events the camp hosts and Peyton is so pumped about her week of fun! Dane and I still can't believe she wants to go. Lindsay wouldn't leave our side when she was little but Peyton isn't giving it a second thought!! Like Dane and I keep saying to each other, "Once you've stared down cancer, what's there to be afraid of?" She's just fearless. I like that about her though :)
It was hard to be at the hospital. It's still strange to me how I tend to react when we go to the hospital. The whole time Peyton was in treatment, I saw Children's as a healing place. A place God used to grow us and change us. The 10th floor felt almost magical sometimes. Peyton was so loved and cared for by her nurses and child-life specialists and we had such a peace about how God was using the doctors to heal Peyton...but then we had to say goodbye to Griffin, then Kelsey, then Courtney and then Elisha there and it just has become a place of pain for me. I know God doesn't want that so I'm letting Him deal with me on that...Thankfully the meeting wasn't on the 10th floor.
One of the counselors introduced herself to us and told us she'd be in Peyton's cabin. We're very excited to hear that since "Ms. Jennifer" is a real sweetheart :) She told me she's been to this site before and read about our mentions of Kelsey. She told me she'd been Kelsey's counselor for many years and how she misses seeing her at camp. I told her we really miss Kelsey a lot, especially Lindsay. It makes me feel so good knowing that Jennifer loved and cared for Kelsey those years and now she'll love and care for Peyton at camp. Isn't God good? How He uses people to comfort us will never cease to amaze me.
After the camp meeting, we headed to Blakey's birthday party. Griffin's little brother is 5! I can't believe it. Blake had a pirate swimming party and we had such a great time. Weston was there and it was so great to see how big (and healthy!!!!) he is :) He and Peyton had a great time playing in the pool. Lindsay and Blake had a great time playing in the pool. Everytime I looked up, they were horsing around or diving for the gold coins at the bottom of the pool! It was so cute :)
Peyton and Lindsay had not yet Sydney, so they were extra-excited about the party. Both girls got to hold her and both made the same comment to me..."Mom, she looks just like Griffin!" And she does. It's surreal to hold her, look into her sweet little face and see her big brother. And you should have seen Sydney work that precious pink bikini she had on!! :) Cute does not begin to cover how she looked!
As always, whenever balloons are around, Blake sends his to Griffin. Peyton always does the same thing since we all know how much Grif loves balloons. Monique gave Blake and Peyton balloons and told them to send them to Grif and to Courtney. I have a picture posted on the photo page.
Riding home in the quiet car that night, I felt a consuming grief taking over again. Crying with Kelsey's camp conselor, spending time with some of Courtney's favorite nurses, and seeing Griffin in his little sister's
smile started to take it's toll. Instead of letting the tears consume me, I chose to recall what each of these amazing people taught me and gave me while they were here. And I chose to concentrate on how we will be with them again. And I chose to daydream about how they spent their day since they are all together! And I was all better :) Again, isn't God good?
That's it for now. Hope everyone had a great Father's Day.
love,
Marni
Please sign the guestbook and let us know you were here. Peyton loves it when we read her what you wrote.
Kelly, Courtney's Mom, sent me this. Her cousin Jennifer wrote it about Court...
My Hero
Heroes are made of many things,
Some have feet, and some have wings.
Some use brains and others just looks;
Some are live and some found in books.
Some do good deeds by making choices;
Others do theirs by using their voices.
They use their talents to dazzle and reign,
And sometimes must fight with terrible pain.
But heroes they are, one and all;
Just regular people, both large and small.
My hero is so many things,
She once had feet, and now has wings.
Definitely had brains and beautiful looks;
Her trials in life are destined for books.
She did good deeds with lots of charm
Attracted many and did no harm.
Her talents never waxed or waned
Even when going through horrendous pain.
She touched all the lives she met each day
About her, many loving words they say.
Now she’s gone, but not forgotten.
Even though the breaks she had were really rotten,
Watching over her loved ones with a smile on her face,
She sends us her peace, her love and her grace.
The Strength of an Egg By
Juliet Freitag
Parents of children with cancer, or really any serious condition, are often referred to or viewed as having strength "like a rock." Albeit flattering, it isn't quite true.
It is more like the strength of an egg. An egg, you ask? Yes! If you'll think about it, you'll see my point. An egg has a polished, smooth outer appearance, with no cracks or weak spots visible. It seems almost inconceivable that the inside might not be so smooth or solid.
Most children, at some point are shown the famous egg trick. An egg set at just the right angle can withstand enormous amounts of pressure and cannot be cracked or broken. Yet the same egg, tapped gently at an ever slightly different angle, will break. The contents, once so neatly concealed, will come spilling out. The no longer perfect shell will be crushed. It looks so fragile that it seems inconceivable that it ever held any strength.
A rock, on the other hand, is solid all the way through. To break it is almost impossible. If you succeed, you will find that there is nothing inside but more rock.
It takes a lot more than pure hardness to hold the hand of hope. Parents of children with cancer are not solid all the way through. We hurt, we fear, we cry, we hope. It takes a very careful balancing act to keep the shell from being shattered. "Balancing an egg" while running a household, going for doctors' visits and hospital stays, keeping the family together, and holding on to the constantly unraveling ties of your sanity can be very tricky indeed! Occasionally, the angle will be off and the shell will break, shattering hope and all the neatly secured appearances of a truly fragile existence.
Unlike Humpty Dumpty, though, parents of kids with cancer will pick themselves up and put themselves back together again. OVER and OVER again...........
I had this on the site a long time ago. For some reason I took it down, but I found it again and am so glad to have it back where it belongs...
by: Martina McBride
In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes
And when she wraps her hand around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about
It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daugter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes
Monday, June 5, 2006 1:08 PM CDT
Sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child.
So it's time to update about something very near and dear to the hearts of the White family...the Dallas Mavericks!! That's right, our Mavs ARE IN THE FINALS BA-BY!!! I hope Heaven has television because Courtney is getting a HUGE kick out of this :) First her beloved Longhorns are the champs, and now her Mavs are going to the finals. We're especially thrilled for the Mavs because this couldn't happen to a nicer group of guys. Court had the pleasure of meeting many of the Mavs at one of the games last year and again when she played golf with them at a Make A Wish tournament. The ones she was most impressed with were Steve Nash and Michael Finley (former Mavs, and man do we miss them!!) Josh Howard, and her favorite, Darrel Armstrong. Darrel didn't get to play too much this season due to injury :( He was Courtney's golf partner in the Make A Wish tournament and he was so great with her. She was so nervous to be playing with a professional basketball player, but he cracked jokes with her all day and she completely relaxed. I have the cutest video of them together at the clubhouse after the tournament and the way they acted that day, you would have thought they were old friends! So seeing the Mavs make the Finals for the first time in franchise history has been ever more wonderful for Dane and I since they were so good to our girl :)
Peyton and Lindsay FINALLY get out of school this week. We started really late last year, so we aren't out yet. Strangely enough, neither of our girls really wants to see the year end. They're both going to miss the social aspect of it I think ;) Paige is on vacation with her dad and his family, so we won't see her for 12 days
:( :( :( but we'll manage somehow.
Peyton has another set of scans coming up next month. It's just that time again, but since she scared the wits out of us last time, please be in prayer for her to have clear scans again :)
Peyton's softball season ended Friday. Coach Doug and Coach Dane led us in a great season and we tied for second in the league. Go Ladybugs!! Peyton was a real dynamo on the field. She mainly played catcher, but seemed to do really well as short stop too. She scored almost everytime she was at bat and she loved that!! One game, she got the winning run and asked Dane and I if we could:
a. Keep the ball
b. Get the other girls to sign the ball
c. Buy a clear, plastic case to mount the ball under and save it since it was "the winning ball"
I'm not so sure modesty is a characteristic our girl has acquired yet!! I'm posting a Ladybug picture on the photo page. We're hoping the league will have enough teams to play fall ball so we don't have to wait until spring again.
Lindsay is showing more interest in golf again. She's really talented and I think with some hard work, she's gonna be quite the player. She's getting more confidence thanks to our buddy Adrienne. Ade is a pro golfer, and mark my words, soon you will see her on the LPGA. When she's got downtime between tournaments, she takes Lindsay out to the driving range and works with her or she calls her and gives her great tips to help improve her swing. Lindsay seems to be responding well to Ade's encouragement and words of advice.
That's it for now. I'll update again soon. Until next time...GO MAVS. Look out Shaq!
love,
Marni
Please sign the guestbook and let us know you were here. Peyton loves it when we read her what you wrote.
Kelly, Courtney's Mom, sent me this. Her cousin Jennifer wrote it about Court...
My Hero
Heroes are made of many things,
Some have feet, and some have wings.
Some use brains and others just looks;
Some are live and some found in books.
Some do good deeds by making choices;
Others do theirs by using their voices.
They use their talents to dazzle and reign,
And sometimes must fight with terrible pain.
But heroes they are, one and all;
Just regular people, both large and small.
My hero is so many things,
She once had feet, and now has wings.
Definitely had brains and beautiful looks;
Her trials in life are destined for books.
She did good deeds with lots of charm
Attracted many and did no harm.
Her talents never waxed or waned
Even when going through horrendous pain.
She touched all the lives she met each day
About her, many loving words they say.
Now she’s gone, but not forgotten.
Even though the breaks she had were really rotten,
Watching over her loved ones with a smile on her face,
She sends us her peace, her love and her grace.
The Strength of an Egg By
Juliet Freitag
Parents of children with cancer, or really any serious condition, are often referred to or viewed as having strength "like a rock." Albeit flattering, it isn't quite true.
It is more like the strength of an egg. An egg, you ask? Yes! If you'll think about it, you'll see my point. An egg has a polished, smooth outer appearance, with no cracks or weak spots visible. It seems almost inconceivable that the inside might not be so smooth or solid.
Most children, at some point are shown the famous egg trick. An egg set at just the right angle can withstand enormous amounts of pressure and cannot be cracked or broken. Yet the same egg, tapped gently at an ever slightly different angle, will break. The contents, once so neatly concealed, will come spilling out. The no longer perfect shell will be crushed. It looks so fragile that it seems inconceivable that it ever held any strength.
A rock, on the other hand, is solid all the way through. To break it is almost impossible. If you succeed, you will find that there is nothing inside but more rock.
It takes a lot more than pure hardness to hold the hand of hope. Parents of children with cancer are not solid all the way through. We hurt, we fear, we cry, we hope. It takes a very careful balancing act to keep the shell from being shattered. "Balancing an egg" while running a household, going for doctors' visits and hospital stays, keeping the family together, and holding on to the constantly unraveling ties of your sanity can be very tricky indeed! Occasionally, the angle will be off and the shell will break, shattering hope and all the neatly secured appearances of a truly fragile existence.
Unlike Humpty Dumpty, though, parents of kids with cancer will pick themselves up and put themselves back together again. OVER and OVER again...........
I had this on the site a long time ago. For some reason I took it down, but I found it again and am so glad to have it back where it belongs...
by: Martina McBride
In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes
And when she wraps her hand around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about
It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daugter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes
Wednesday, May 24, 2006 12:26 AM CDT
Sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child.
Nope, still no fashion show update...I just can't seem to do it. I start writing about it and more emotion than I know what to do with takes over and I just...can't. I think my problem (if you would even call it that) is that we were celebrating the survivors at the show--as we TOTALLY should. Surviving childhood cancer is a feat the strongest of adults couldn't possibly imagine. Two that I loved very dearly weren't survivors and one that I love very dearly is. I can't seem to reconcile that in my heart...my head, yes, but not my heart. We are grateful every single day that Peyton is healthy, but I think there is a level of "survivors guilt" with me, especially since two of my best friends didn't get the outcome I did...
------------------------------------------
In June of last year, our dear friend David Losoya, Dane and I were in Colorado at Youth Camp. David is a "classic car" nut! He restores cars for fun and they are just amazing when he's done. Some he keeps, some he sells, but he does it for the love of the restoration. I mentioned in passing that I had a 1968 Mustang that was rotting away in back of my mom's house. About a month later, Courtney was in the hosptial and I was hanging out with her when Dane called and said, "Can you keep a secret?" I told him I could and he said, "David and some other buddies of ours from church are going to go get the Mustang, restore it and give it to Courtney!" I was SO excited!!
In August, David, Dane, our friends Dale, Mike, Trenton, and Courtney's friends Danny, Trevor, Joey, Jerry, Bryan, Jonny, Sean and Jeremy started the restoration. Of course the more people who know a secret, the harder it is to keep right? Well, Court found out about the Mustang. As she began to get sick in September, the Mustang gave her a lot to look forward to...
Courtney never saw the Mustang...but now we're glad she knew our surprise. When Court went Home, we believed the car was still hers so we finished it with the idea it would go to Kelly, Court's mom. In February, we unveiled the Mustang to Courtney's family at a big auto show in Dallas. Courtney's Mustang took 1st place in the 1968 Hardtop Classic Car category! Court would have LOVED that :) On Mother's Day, we gave Kelly the Mustang. We cried a little, laughed a little, and then Kelly, Britney and Paige went on a short cruise in it :) I've posted pictures on the photo page.
To all of you who made this dream possible, thank you so very, very much. Each time you showed up to work on the car, you showed Courtney and her family how much she meant to you. Each time someone donated parts or money for this project, you showed us goodness and compassion for others is still very much alive in this world. And Kelly...you let me love your "little sunshine" like she was my own. I will never be able to repay that, but I hope you feel her presence with you everytime you drive...
Love,
Marni
PS--Happy 15th birthday tater tot. Daddy, Pey-pey and I love you very much.
Please sign the guestbook and let us know you were here. Peyton loves it when we read her what you wrote.
Kelly, Courtney's Mom, sent me this. Her cousin Jennifer wrote it about Court...
My Hero
Heroes are made of many things,
Some have feet, and some have wings.
Some use brains and others just looks;
Some are live and some found in books.
Some do good deeds by making choices;
Others do theirs by using their voices.
They use their talents to dazzle and reign,
And sometimes must fight with terrible pain.
But heroes they are, one and all;
Just regular people, both large and small.
My hero is so many things,
She once had feet, and now has wings.
Definitely had brains and beautiful looks;
Her trials in life are destined for books.
She did good deeds with lots of charm
Attracted many and did no harm.
Her talents never waxed or waned
Even when going through horrendous pain.
She touched all the lives she met each day
About her, many loving words they say.
Now she’s gone, but not forgotten.
Even though the breaks she had were really rotten,
Watching over her loved ones with a smile on her face,
She sends us her peace, her love and her grace.
The Strength of an Egg By
Juliet Freitag
Parents of children with cancer, or really any serious condition, are often referred to or viewed as having strength "like a rock." Albeit flattering, it isn't quite true.
It is more like the strength of an egg. An egg, you ask? Yes! If you'll think about it, you'll see my point. An egg has a polished, smooth outer appearance, with no cracks or weak spots visible. It seems almost inconceivable that the inside might not be so smooth or solid.
Most children, at some point are shown the famous egg trick. An egg set at just the right angle can withstand enormous amounts of pressure and cannot be cracked or broken. Yet the same egg, tapped gently at an ever slightly different angle, will break. The contents, once so neatly concealed, will come spilling out. The no longer perfect shell will be crushed. It looks so fragile that it seems inconceivable that it ever held any strength.
A rock, on the other hand, is solid all the way through. To break it is almost impossible. If you succeed, you will find that there is nothing inside but more rock.
It takes a lot more than pure hardness to hold the hand of hope. Parents of children with cancer are not solid all the way through. We hurt, we fear, we cry, we hope. It takes a very careful balancing act to keep the shell from being shattered. "Balancing an egg" while running a household, going for doctors' visits and hospital stays, keeping the family together, and holding on to the constantly unraveling ties of your sanity can be very tricky indeed! Occasionally, the angle will be off and the shell will break, shattering hope and all the neatly secured appearances of a truly fragile existence.
Unlike Humpty Dumpty, though, parents of kids with cancer will pick themselves up and put themselves back together again. OVER and OVER again...........
I had this on the site a long time ago. For some reason I took it down, but I found it again and am so glad to have it back where it belongs...
by: Martina McBride
In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes
And when she wraps her hand around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about
It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daugter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes
Tuesday, May 9, 2006 9:55 AM CDT
Sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child.
Okay, I know I owe you all a REAL update about the fashion show and it's coming...but I just don't have it quite ready to post. The show and these last weeks have triggered a lot of emotions I didn't see coming and each time I go to write about the show, I freeze up. I will have it on the next journal entry though...Oh yes, and go read the new poem I've added just underneath this entry. It's wonderful!
But I did need to pop in and update because soon...very soon...(cue dramatic music) we are about to have some important birthdays in our midst!!! 16 years ago, on May 14th, Emily Paige Howard came into this world. Those of you in Texas, stay off the sidewalks, because soon the state is turning loose another teenage driver!! Happy Birthday Paige (or liddle butter bean, freakin' Paige, Emily Paige, my sis-tah, Jaloppa, "you punk" and all the other ways she's known in our house) We love you bunches :)
15 years ago, on May 25, Lindsay Taylor White came into this world. She showed up on her OWN schedule and has pretty much demanded her own way ever since :) Happy Birthday, my first born gift from God, (or Tater Tot, Linds, my sis-tah, Lindsay Lou, moonshine, CC, "you punk" and all the other ways she's known in our house) We love you bunches too :)
Go look at the pictures I've posted of our two beauties God has abudantly blessed us with. Oh yes, and the ensuing parties to follow for these two momentous birthdays are sure to have some great pictures, so I'll post them soon...
I have to go lie down now...the thought of one driving and one starting drivers ed is making my head hurt...If this doesn't kick my prayer life to whole new level, I don't know what will...
Love, (and fear and trembling!!)
Marni
PS--Happy Mother's Day to my special moms Linda (who gave me life and my sense of humor and all the other good things about me!) Kay (who has always loved me like I was her own) and Kathy (who gave me the best thing that ever happened to me--her son) I love you all for who you are and what you've taught me.
Happy Mother's Day to my amazing friends who have seen and dealt with mothering that weaker women would never have been able to get through. God has reserved a special place in Heaven for you...Kelly, Mo, Suzanne, and Mary I stand in prayer with you until you see your babies again...
Please sign the guestbook and let us know you were here. Peyton loves it when we read her what you wrote.
Kelly, Courtney's Mom, sent me this. Her cousin Jennifer wrote it about Court...
My Hero
Heroes are made of many things,
Some have feet, and some have wings.
Some use brains and others just looks;
Some are live and some found in books.
Some do good deeds by making choices;
Others do theirs by using their voices.
They use their talents to dazzle and reign,
And sometimes must fight with terrible pain.
But heroes they are, one and all;
Just regular people, both large and small.
My hero is so many things,
She once had feet, and now has wings.
Definitely had brains and beautiful looks;
Her trials in life are destined for books.
She did good deeds with lots of charm
Attracted many and did no harm.
Her talents never waxed or waned
Even when going through horrendous pain.
She touched all the lives she met each day
About her, many loving words they say.
Now she’s gone, but not forgotten.
Even though the breaks she had were really rotten,
Watching over her loved ones with a smile on her face,
She sends us her peace, her love and her grace.
The Strength of an Egg By
Juliet Freitag
Parents of children with cancer, or really any serious condition, are often referred to or viewed as having strength "like a rock." Albeit flattering, it isn't quite true.
It is more like the strength of an egg. An egg, you ask? Yes! If you'll think about it, you'll see my point. An egg has a polished, smooth outer appearance, with no cracks or weak spots visible. It seems almost inconceivable that the inside might not be so smooth or solid.
Most children, at some point are shown the famous egg trick. An egg set at just the right angle can withstand enormous amounts of pressure and cannot be cracked or broken. Yet the same egg, tapped gently at an ever slightly different angle, will break. The contents, once so neatly concealed, will come spilling out. The no longer perfect shell will be crushed. It looks so fragile that it seems inconceivable that it ever held any strength.
A rock, on the other hand, is solid all the way through. To break it is almost impossible. If you succeed, you will find that there is nothing inside but more rock.
It takes a lot more than pure hardness to hold the hand of hope. Parents of children with cancer are not solid all the way through. We hurt, we fear, we cry, we hope. It takes a very careful balancing act to keep the shell from being shattered. "Balancing an egg" while running a household, going for doctors' visits and hospital stays, keeping the family together, and holding on to the constantly unraveling ties of your sanity can be very tricky indeed! Occasionally, the angle will be off and the shell will break, shattering hope and all the neatly secured appearances of a truly fragile existence.
Unlike Humpty Dumpty, though, parents of kids with cancer will pick themselves up and put themselves back together again. OVER and OVER again...........
I had this on the site a long time ago. For some reason I took it down, but I found it again and am so glad to have it back where it belongs...
by: Martina McBride
In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes
And when she wraps her hand around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about
It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daugter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes
Tuesday, April 25, 2006 12:26 AM CDT
Sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child.
I'm gonna need a little more time to get the words together about the fashion show. It affected Dane and I on levels we didn't see coming and I still am too overcome to really put the experience into words. In the meantime, I've posted some pictures. Peyton was beautiful and had a wonderful time...
Today would be the anniversary of Griffin's BMT and each year he and his family would have a party to celebrate. Last year our family celebrated the day by releasing red balloons to Griffy in Heaven while telling him what we loved best about him. Court and her family released balloons last year too. We invite you to join us in this tradition by releasing balloons or finding your own special way to remember the occassion...
Please sign the guestbook and let us know you were here. Peyton loves it when we read her what you wrote.
Kelly, Courtney's Mom, sent me this. Her cousin Jennifer wrote it about Court...
My Hero
Heroes are made of many things,
Some have feet, and some have wings.
Some use brains and others just looks;
Some are live and some found in books.
Some do good deeds by making choices;
Others do theirs by using their voices.
They use their talents to dazzle and reign,
And sometimes must fight with terrible pain.
But heroes they are, one and all;
Just regular people, both large and small.
My hero is so many things,
She once had feet, and now has wings.
Definitely had brains and beautiful looks;
Her trials in life are destined for books.
She did good deeds with lots of charm
Attracted many and did no harm.
Her talents never waxed or waned
Even when going through horrendous pain.
She touched all the lives she met each day
About her, many loving words they say.
Now she’s gone, but not forgotten.
Even though the breaks she had were really rotten,
Watching over her loved ones with a smile on her face,
She sends us her peace, her love and her grace.
The Strength of an Egg By
Juliet Freitag
Parents of children with cancer, or really any serious condition, are often referred to or viewed as having strength "like a rock." Albeit flattering, it isn't quite true.
It is more like the strength of an egg. An egg, you ask? Yes! If you'll think about it, you'll see my point. An egg has a polished, smooth outer appearance, with no cracks or weak spots visible. It seems almost inconceivable that the inside might not be so smooth or solid.
Most children, at some point are shown the famous egg trick. An egg set at just the right angle can withstand enormous amounts of pressure and cannot be cracked or broken. Yet the same egg, tapped gently at an ever slightly different angle, will break. The contents, once so neatly concealed, will come spilling out. The no longer perfect shell will be crushed. It looks so fragile that it seems inconceivable that it ever held any strength.
A rock, on the other hand, is solid all the way through. To break it is almost impossible. If you succeed, you will find that there is nothing inside but more rock.
It takes a lot more than pure hardness to hold the hand of hope. Parents of children with cancer are not solid all the way through. We hurt, we fear, we cry, we hope. It takes a very careful balancing act to keep the shell from being shattered. "Balancing an egg" while running a household, going for doctors' visits and hospital stays, keeping the family together, and holding on to the constantly unraveling ties of your sanity can be very tricky indeed! Occasionally, the angle will be off and the shell will break, shattering hope and all the neatly secured appearances of a truly fragile existence.
Unlike Humpty Dumpty, though, parents of kids with cancer will pick themselves up and put themselves back together again. OVER and OVER again...........
I had this on the site a long time ago. For some reason I took it down, but I found it again and am so glad to have it back where it belongs...
by: Martina McBride
In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes
And when she wraps her hand around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about
It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daugter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes
Wednesday, April 19, 2006 10:51 AM CDT
Sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child.
Courtney's father and his family organized a benefit golf tournament. The benefit was to raise money for scholarships at Courtney's alma mater and to benefit families of cancer patients at Children's Medical Center of Dallas.
The tournament was a huge success and lots of money was raised for some very worthy causes. Since the tournament (followed by an auction) was so successful, this will likely become an annual event. To read more about the tournament or the Courtney Howard Foundation, click here.
I've added some new pictures to the photo page. I didn't manage to get any of Dane and his buddies playing golf, but they had a great time. Dane had a hard time with the tournament because his golf buddy was usually Court, but he knew she was around cheering him on and he kept remembering all of their crazy golf escapades :) so he still enjoyed himself.
Next entry will be all about America's Next Top Model ;) so check back in next week for the low-down and cute pictures.
Love,
Marni
PS--Happy Birthday Brit. We love you to the moon and back...
Please sign the guestbook and let us know you were here. Peyton loves it when we read her what you wrote.
The Strength of an Egg By
Juliet Freitag
Parents of children with cancer, or really any serious condition, are often referred to or viewed as having strength "like a rock." Albeit flattering, it isn't quite true.
It is more like the strength of an egg. An egg, you ask? Yes! If you'll think about it, you'll see my point. An egg has a polished, smooth outer appearance, with no cracks or weak spots visible. It seems almost inconceivable that the inside might not be so smooth or solid.
Most children, at some point are shown the famous egg trick. An egg set at just the right angle can withstand enormous amounts of pressure and cannot be cracked or broken. Yet the same egg, tapped gently at an ever slightly different angle, will break. The contents, once so neatly concealed, will come spilling out. The no longer perfect shell will be crushed. It looks so fragile that it seems inconceivable that it ever held any strength.
A rock, on the other hand, is solid all the way through. To break it is almost impossible. If you succeed, you will find that there is nothing inside but more rock.
It takes a lot more than pure hardness to hold the hand of hope. Parents of children with cancer are not solid all the way through. We hurt, we fear, we cry, we hope. It takes a very careful balancing act to keep the shell from being shattered. "Balancing an egg" while running a household, going for doctors' visits and hospital stays, keeping the family together, and holding on to the constantly unraveling ties of your sanity can be very tricky indeed! Occasionally, the angle will be off and the shell will break, shattering hope and all the neatly secured appearances of a truly fragile existence.
Unlike Humpty Dumpty, though, parents of kids with cancer will pick themselves up and put themselves back together again. OVER and OVER again...........
I had this on the site a long time ago. For some reason I took it down, but I found it again and am so glad to have it back where it belongs...
by: Martina McBride
In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes
And when she wraps her hand around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about
It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daugter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes
Wednesday, April 5, 2006 6:50 PM CDT
Sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child.
UPDATE: Peyton is going to be on the radio :) Pey Pey and some other kids from Children's Hospital were asked to record a Public Service Announcement for the upcoming CCF fashion show and golf tournament. Peyton did great in recording her part of the PSA. We also got a tour of the radio station and met lots of nice people. The station gave each of the kids the Lady and the Tramp DVD and treated them like royalty.
If you live in the Dallas area, the stations broadcasting the PSA's are 98.7 KLUV, 103.7 KVIL, 100.3 JackFM, and 107.5 The Oasis. I posted some pictures on the photo page.
Britney called last night and talked to Peyton. She said, "Well Peyton you're going to be a model and you've been on the radio. What are you going to do now?" Peyton said, "I think I'll be a singer next!!" She's such a ham :)
Thanks for continuing to check on us...
Peyton is going to be a model :) She was chosen this year to be one of the models for the Dallas/Ft. Worth chapter of the Children's Cancer Fund. I'm not sure how other chapters handle fundraising, but the DFW one "puts on the dog" as a dear friend of mine would say! The event is at a swanky hotel in Dallas and will be riddled with professional athletes and local celebrities. The models all got to go pick out the clothes and accessories they are wearing for the show and they will be escorted by a local celebrity as they walk the stage. We don't know who will be escorting Peyton yet, but she doesn't care. She's just excited about wearing the pretty dress she picked out :)
I'll post pictures after the event. Hope everyone is doing well.
Love,
Marni
Please sign the guestbook and let us know you were here. Peyton loves it when we read her what you wrote.
The Strength of an Egg By
Juliet Freitag
Parents of children with cancer, or really any serious condition, are often referred to or viewed as having strength "like a rock." Albeit flattering, it isn't quite true.
It is more like the strength of an egg. An egg, you ask? Yes! If you'll think about it, you'll see my point. An egg has a polished, smooth outer appearance, with no cracks or weak spots visible. It seems almost inconceivable that the inside might not be so smooth or solid.
Most children, at some point are shown the famous egg trick. An egg set at just the right angle can withstand enormous amounts of pressure and cannot be cracked or broken. Yet the same egg, tapped gently at an ever slightly different angle, will break. The contents, once so neatly concealed, will come spilling out. The no longer perfect shell will be crushed. It looks so fragile that it seems inconceivable that it ever held any strength.
A rock, on the other hand, is solid all the way through. To break it is almost impossible. If you succeed, you will find that there is nothing inside but more rock.
It takes a lot more than pure hardness to hold the hand of hope. Parents of children with cancer are not solid all the way through. We hurt, we fear, we cry, we hope. It takes a very careful balancing act to keep the shell from being shattered. "Balancing an egg" while running a household, going for doctors' visits and hospital stays, keeping the family together, and holding on to the constantly unraveling ties of your sanity can be very tricky indeed! Occasionally, the angle will be off and the shell will break, shattering hope and all the neatly secured appearances of a truly fragile existence.
Unlike Humpty Dumpty, though, parents of kids with cancer will pick themselves up and put themselves back together again. OVER and OVER again...........
I had this on the site a long time ago. For some reason I took it down, but I found it again and am so glad to have it back where it belongs...
by: Martina McBride
In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes
And when she wraps her hand around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about
It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daugter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes
Wednesday, March 15, 2006 9:08 AM CST
Sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child.
Update: Click here to go read about a very exciting and promising bill pertaining to childhood cancer.
New Photos!
Deliverance--the state of being rescued or liberated
Grace--unmerited divine mercy or approval
These are definitions of those two words, according to the dictionary. Now let me tell you what they are according to me...I hit my knees a few weeks ago and asked God to do something for me, and He did. It shouldn’t surprise me that He did that, and frankly it doesn’t. God has NEVER let me down. But this was a request I made that I wasn’t sure I meant, but I trusted God to do what was best. I asked God to take my grieving. Grief has been a constant companion since God took Griffy Home. It was compounded over the next few months as we watched Kelsey go Home, and then it became overwhelming when God called Court Home. And it wasn’t just painful to lose Courtney because of what it did to me, but to watch other people I love have to hurt too—it just got to be too much.
I wanted to ask God to take my grief, but I was afraid if I did, I would have guilt, as if getting on with the life God has planned for me would mean that Courtney didn’t matter as much as I thought she did. And I was also scared that if I asked God to take the pain, I would also start to forget her and all the precious, precious memories I have of her.
The only way I can explain what then happened is to tell you that I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit saying oh-so-clearly to me, “just ask, and see what happens”. So I went to God, laid out all my fears and worries, and then said to Him, “God, I don’t want to hurt like this anymore. I love this child like she is my own, and I know the flipside of loving someone is how bad it hurts when you lose them, but I don’t see how my level of pain is productive to the work You have for me to do here. If it is your will that I continue to hurt like this, I will because it is in suffering I see you so clearly. But if it is Your will that you take this pain from me, I will trust that it is what You want and the results of it will be for Your glory.” Then I went to sleep with an anxious, but excited heart.
The next morning can only be described as the “first day of the rest of my life”. For the first time in months, I woke up with the knot in my stomach gone. I actually enjoyed getting out of bed and seeing what this new day held for me. I don’t want anyone to think that each day since then has been something out of a fairy tale. I still have times when my heart feels like it’s breaking, but that feeling no longer consumes me. I always had peace with God in Him taking Courtney. I’ve never been angry with Him, but now He’s given me an entirely new level of peace about His taking these precious ones from us—for now. It’s the “for now” that reigns me in when I start to have a really bad day. It’s the “for now” that reminds me of how much God loves us all, and it’s the “for now” that makes me go out and minister to the ones who need Jesus. I can’t imagine how anyone gets through pain and suffering without Him.
Please sign the guestbook and let us know you were here. Peyton loves it when we read her what you wrote.
The Strength of an Egg By
Juliet Freitag
Parents of children with cancer, or really any serious condition, are often referred to or viewed as having strength "like a rock." Albeit flattering, it isn't quite true.
It is more like the strength of an egg. An egg, you ask? Yes! If you'll think about it, you'll see my point. An egg has a polished, smooth outer appearance, with no cracks or weak spots visible. It seems almost inconceivable that the inside might not be so smooth or solid.
Most children, at some point are shown the famous egg trick. An egg set at just the right angle can withstand enormous amounts of pressure and cannot be cracked or broken. Yet the same egg, tapped gently at an ever slightly different angle, will break. The contents, once so neatly concealed, will come spilling out. The no longer perfect shell will be crushed. It looks so fragile that it seems inconceivable that it ever held any strength.
A rock, on the other hand, is solid all the way through. To break it is almost impossible. If you succeed, you will find that there is nothing inside but more rock.
It takes a lot more than pure hardness to hold the hand of hope. Parents of children with cancer are not solid all the way through. We hurt, we fear, we cry, we hope. It takes a very careful balancing act to keep the shell from being shattered. "Balancing an egg" while running a household, going for doctors' visits and hospital stays, keeping the family together, and holding on to the constantly unraveling ties of your sanity can be very tricky indeed! Occasionally, the angle will be off and the shell will break, shattering hope and all the neatly secured appearances of a truly fragile existence.
Unlike Humpty Dumpty, though, parents of kids with cancer will pick themselves up and put themselves back together again. OVER and OVER again...........
I had this on the site a long time ago. For some reason I took it down, but I found it again and am so glad to have it back where it belongs...
by: Martina McBride
In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes
And when she wraps her hand around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about
It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daugter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes
Wednesday, February 22, 2006 3:00 PM CST
Sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child.
New Photos!
Griffy's new baby sister is here!! I haven't gotten to see her yet. I have felt crummy the last couple of days and I've been scared I'd pass on something to Mo or the baby, so I haven't been to the hospital yet. My plan is to go tomorrow since I'm feeling better now.
This is going to be a short entry, but I wanted to let everyone know about baby Sydney arriving and to show off some pictures. I'm currenly wrestling with Photobucket.com to see if I can add extra photos to the site. So far, they're transfering over as GIANT pics even though they are less than 512K a piece...I'll stay on it though. I have some great photos of Courtney and I've been wanting to put them up for a while now. I also have several of Elisha that I know will bless you all.
Next update, I'm going to talk about deliverance, grace and holding on until the blessings come. The story is almost composed in my head, but now I need to get it on paper, so check back in a couple of days...
Marni
Please sign the guestbook and let us know you were here. Peyton loves it when we read her what you wrote.
The Strength of an Egg By
Juliet Freitag
Parents of children with cancer, or really any serious condition, are often referred to or viewed as having strength "like a rock." Albeit flattering, it isn't quite true.
It is more like the strength of an egg. An egg, you ask? Yes! If you'll think about it, you'll see my point. An egg has a polished, smooth outer appearance, with no cracks or weak spots visible. It seems almost inconceivable that the inside might not be so smooth or solid.
Most children, at some point are shown the famous egg trick. An egg set at just the right angle can withstand enormous amounts of pressure and cannot be cracked or broken. Yet the same egg, tapped gently at an ever slightly different angle, will break. The contents, once so neatly concealed, will come spilling out. The no longer perfect shell will be crushed. It looks so fragile that it seems inconceivable that it ever held any strength.
A rock, on the other hand, is solid all the way through. To break it is almost impossible. If you succeed, you will find that there is nothing inside but more rock.
It takes a lot more than pure hardness to hold the hand of hope. Parents of children with cancer are not solid all the way through. We hurt, we fear, we cry, we hope. It takes a very careful balancing act to keep the shell from being shattered. "Balancing an egg" while running a household, going for doctors' visits and hospital stays, keeping the family together, and holding on to the constantly unraveling ties of your sanity can be very tricky indeed! Occasionally, the angle will be off and the shell will break, shattering hope and all the neatly secured appearances of a truly fragile existence.
Unlike Humpty Dumpty, though, parents of kids with cancer will pick themselves up and put themselves back together again. OVER and OVER again...........
I had this on the site a long time ago. For some reason I took it down, but I found it again and am so glad to have it back where it belongs...
by: Martina McBride
In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes
And when she wraps her hand around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about
It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daugter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes
Tuesday, February 14, 2006 11:42 AM CST
Sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child.
I had the most awesome talk with my sweet husband last night. We were talking about how we are doing since Courtney went Home. I told Dane that I was so grateful that God called Courtney back Home so she would not suffer the effects of her cancer anymore. I told him I never wished Courtney were back here with us because to want her here more than to want her to be walking with her Jesus, was selfish. Sometimes, though, I struggle with the "what could have beens". I often times wish Courtney could have experienced more of life before she had to leave us. I told Dane I wish she could have experienced the thrill and joy of meeting that one special man God made for her and to fall head over heels in love with him. Dane looked me straight in the eye and said, "Babe, she did do that. She fell head over heels in love with Jesus." That statement rendered me speechless, and if you know me, you know that doesn't happen often!
I've spent all day thinking about that, and Dane is so right. The last year Courtney was here, her already unshakeable faith exploded into a dimension I had not seen in another person before. She fell more and more in love with her Savior everyday, and Dane and I were blessed enough to watch that love unfold before our very eyes.
Deuteronomy 6:5 tells us to "Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength." That is my Valentine's Day wish for you all...that you will love most the one who made and loves you most.
And thank you Dane, my special Valentine, for the words God gave you to comfort and deliver me. I love you.
Please sign the guestbook and let us know you were here. Peyton loves it when we read her what you wrote.
The Strength of an Egg By
Juliet Freitag
Parents of children with cancer, or really any serious condition, are often referred to or viewed as having strength "like a rock." Albeit flattering, it isn't quite true.
It is more like the strength of an egg. An egg, you ask? Yes! If you'll think about it, you'll see my point. An egg has a polished, smooth outer appearance, with no cracks or weak spots visible. It seems almost inconceivable that the inside might not be so smooth or solid.
Most children, at some point are shown the famous egg trick. An egg set at just the right angle can withstand enormous amounts of pressure and cannot be cracked or broken. Yet the same egg, tapped gently at an ever slightly different angle, will break. The contents, once so neatly concealed, will come spilling out. The no longer perfect shell will be crushed. It looks so fragile that it seems inconceivable that it ever held any strength.
A rock, on the other hand, is solid all the way through. To break it is almost impossible. If you succeed, you will find that there is nothing inside but more rock.
It takes a lot more than pure hardness to hold the hand of hope. Parents of children with cancer are not solid all the way through. We hurt, we fear, we cry, we hope. It takes a very careful balancing act to keep the shell from being shattered. "Balancing an egg" while running a household, going for doctors' visits and hospital stays, keeping the family together, and holding on to the constantly unraveling ties of your sanity can be very tricky indeed! Occasionally, the angle will be off and the shell will break, shattering hope and all the neatly secured appearances of a truly fragile existence.
Unlike Humpty Dumpty, though, parents of kids with cancer will pick themselves up and put themselves back together again. OVER and OVER again...........
I had this on the site a long time ago. For some reason I took it down, but I found it again and am so glad to have it back where it belongs...
by: Martina McBride
In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes
And when she wraps her hand around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about
It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daugter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes
Monday, February 13, 2006 12:11 AM CST
Sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child.
We made it through last week. Peyton is doing fine. She misses Elisha, but she's steadfast in her understanding that Elisha is better off than us because he's with Jesus.
Please continue to pray for Elisha's family. Also, please pray for Brian and Kellye, Kennedy's parents. These two families have given me such stunning examples of what faith is really all about.
I have lots to update about and I will do that before the week is out. I just wanted to let everyone know that Peyton is okay.
Much love,
Marni
Please sign the guestbook and let us know you were here. Peyton loves it when we read her what you wrote.
The Strength of an Egg By
Juliet Freitag
Parents of children with cancer, or really any serious condition, are often referred to or viewed as having strength "like a rock." Albeit flattering, it isn't quite true.
It is more like the strength of an egg. An egg, you ask? Yes! If you'll think about it, you'll see my point. An egg has a polished, smooth outer appearance, with no cracks or weak spots visible. It seems almost inconceivable that the inside might not be so smooth or solid.
Most children, at some point are shown the famous egg trick. An egg set at just the right angle can withstand enormous amounts of pressure and cannot be cracked or broken. Yet the same egg, tapped gently at an ever slightly different angle, will break. The contents, once so neatly concealed, will come spilling out. The no longer perfect shell will be crushed. It looks so fragile that it seems inconceivable that it ever held any strength.
A rock, on the other hand, is solid all the way through. To break it is almost impossible. If you succeed, you will find that there is nothing inside but more rock.
It takes a lot more than pure hardness to hold the hand of hope. Parents of children with cancer are not solid all the way through. We hurt, we fear, we cry, we hope. It takes a very careful balancing act to keep the shell from being shattered. "Balancing an egg" while running a household, going for doctors' visits and hospital stays, keeping the family together, and holding on to the constantly unraveling ties of your sanity can be very tricky indeed! Occasionally, the angle will be off and the shell will break, shattering hope and all the neatly secured appearances of a truly fragile existence.
Unlike Humpty Dumpty, though, parents of kids with cancer will pick themselves up and put themselves back together again. OVER and OVER again...........
I had this on the site a long time ago. For some reason I took it down, but I found it again and am so glad to have it back where it belongs...
by: Martina McBride
In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes
And when she wraps her hand around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about
It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daugter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes
Monday, February 6, 2006 8:35 AM CST
Sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child.
UPDATE: Kennedy went Home to meet Jesus last night. Please pray for Brian and Kellye as they move through these next days, weeks, months...
My friend Stephanie called me this morning to tell me of Kennedy's passing. After speaking to her, I began to pray. I thanked God that He ends the suffering of these little ones whose bodies have failed them. It hurts to lose ones we love, but at the same time, I rejoice for those who've gone Home because their struggles and pain are over--forever. And as much pain as their passing leaves for the ones left here, there is hope in that pain. The assurance that if we too have placed our faith in Jesus, we will see Him and we will see the ones who have gone before us. In Heaven, there is no cancer, there is no disease at all. And best of all, there are NO goodbyes. I have an amazing image in my head right now. While she was here, Courtney had other patients from Children's that she loved so much. Griffin, Kelsey, Micah, Elisha and Kennedy were so precious to her. And today, they are all together. The image I have is that they are all hugging and rejoicing that the others are finally healed and are Home where they belong, and they are together forever. And now, they wait for the rest of us that they love so much to show up too. For those of you who knew and loved these precious ones we've given back to God long before we expected to, let the Kingdom be your focus. Let temporarily losing ones we love remind you that we are in this world, but not of this world. We are passing through here on our way to our real Home. Let that mindset permeate everthing in your life. Let it give you a Kingdom perspective so that ALL you concern yourself with is fulfilling the jobs God has for you here.
Brian and Kellye, we rejoice with you that Kennedy is healed. We stand with you as we pray for your strength until you see her again. Thank you for the encouragement of your strong faith. How proud Jesus must be of you both...
UPDATE: 12:30pm--Brian has updated Kennedy's page (go to www.carepages.com and then register and go to the page for Kennedy Smith. Her page name is littletrooper.) Kennedy has taken a turn for the worse. She and her parents need our prayers more than ever.
Our little buddy Elisha went to meet Jesus on Saturday. Please go to his site and read what Mary's cousin Aaron said in the Saturday entry. It blesses me through and through when I see people clinging to and praising God when He steps in and ends the suffering of those we love so much...
Elisha was the FIRST person we met on our journey with the Hem/Onc clinic at Children's Hospital. Elisha walked past me on our first day in clinic and gave me a BIG smile. He was so tiny, I thought he was about 18 months old. I said to him, "Hi cutie, how are you?" and he said, "I'm fine, how are YOU?" I almost fell over that a toddler said a complete sentence!! Of course, as it turns out, he was 3 at the time :) Peyton and Elisha became fast friends. We were in the hospital together alot. Elisha would come down to our room and he and Peyton would watch Lilo and Stitch together over and over and over again.
In October 2004, our family and Elisha's family went to Disney World together so our precious little ones could enjoy their Make A Wish trip together. The pictures and video I have of that trip are priceless. In the next days, I'll start posting them...
Elisha, we love you so much. I can't wait to see you again and get one of your flirty smiles and big kisses! Peyton says she loves you too and she hopes you are playing on Griffin and Courtney's farm.
Please pray for Mary, Elisha's mom and also for the rest of Elisha's amazing family. They never failed to keep faith...
Please sign the guestbook and let us know you were here. Peyton loves it when we read her what you wrote.
The Strength of an Egg By
Juliet Freitag
Parents of children with cancer, or really any serious condition, are often referred to or viewed as having strength "like a rock." Albeit flattering, it isn't quite true.
It is more like the strength of an egg. An egg, you ask? Yes! If you'll think about it, you'll see my point. An egg has a polished, smooth outer appearance, with no cracks or weak spots visible. It seems almost inconceivable that the inside might not be so smooth or solid.
Most children, at some point are shown the famous egg trick. An egg set at just the right angle can withstand enormous amounts of pressure and cannot be cracked or broken. Yet the same egg, tapped gently at an ever slightly different angle, will break. The contents, once so neatly concealed, will come spilling out. The no longer perfect shell will be crushed. It looks so fragile that it seems inconceivable that it ever held any strength.
A rock, on the other hand, is solid all the way through. To break it is almost impossible. If you succeed, you will find that there is nothing inside but more rock.
It takes a lot more than pure hardness to hold the hand of hope. Parents of children with cancer are not solid all the way through. We hurt, we fear, we cry, we hope. It takes a very careful balancing act to keep the shell from being shattered. "Balancing an egg" while running a household, going for doctors' visits and hospital stays, keeping the family together, and holding on to the constantly unraveling ties of your sanity can be very tricky indeed! Occasionally, the angle will be off and the shell will break, shattering hope and all the neatly secured appearances of a truly fragile existence.
Unlike Humpty Dumpty, though, parents of kids with cancer will pick themselves up and put themselves back together again. OVER and OVER again...........
I had this on the site a long time ago. For some reason I took it down, but I found it again and am so glad to have it back where it belongs...
by: Martina McBride
In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes
And when she wraps her hand around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about
It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daugter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes
Monday, January 23, 2006 9:49 AM CST
Sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child.
UPDATE: I need you guys to start praying for our friend Kennedy. I met her and her awesome parents through Courtney and Kelly. Kennedy is 2 years old and has ALL. She recently relapsed and early this week, her lungs began to take on fluid unexpectedly. She is ICU right now and although there is a decent measure of hope, she is very critical. She has a website if you want to check on her progress. Go to www.carepages.com. Her page name is Littletrooper--and let me tell you, this sweet angel is a little trooper! Even if you can't visit her page, please join us in praying for Kennedy and her sweet parents Brian and Kellye. And as always, thank you for caring so much for those we care about.
UPDATE: I have been meaning to put this link up for over a month, but I always forget. Today, I remembered!! Back in December, Dale Hansen, a local sports anchor, profiled Courtney in his annual "Thank God for Kids" series. At the end of the video, he talks about Court. It's very moving and it shows some footage of Court playing basketball and giving an interview from early 2004. Click here to be taken to the news website. Scroll down until you see the Thank God for Kids link and you can watch the video.
Hello again. We are finally breathing normally after the scare Peyton gave us last week with her scans. We are trying to get more milk and cheese down Peyton to help the weak spot in her ankle bone. She is a big fan of the kids yogurt so we will try and get more of that down her too. I am still on the hunt for a good calcium supplement too.
Other than clear scans, the good news for us this week is that Peyton’s teacher has started sending her home with Easy Reader books. Peyton read her first book to us on Wednesday and she is doing so doing great. Each time she reads well, we sign her homework sheet and Mrs. Moore sends home a new book. It’s so neat to see how excited she is about learning to read :)
I promised in my last update I would tell how Courtney helped us out during those scary hours we were worried about the bone scan. When she was with us, Courtney and her mom, Kelly, had a thing for dragonflies. Since Courtney went Home, Kelly has been collecting dragonfly items of all kinds. And I cannot see a cute dragonfly picture, piece of jewelry, or whatever, without thinking of Courtney. When Dr. Bowers sent us back down to Radiology to get X-rays of Peyton’s ankle, Pey and I were sitting at a little table and chairs waiting to be called back. The table had crayons and paper to color on. Peyton is coloring away and I am praying. I told God I would do this cancer thing again if He needed us to, but I did not really want to. Then I asked Courtney to please pray for us. No sooner had that prayer left my lips, then a lady from Radiology walked up to our table and handed Peyton a piece of paper. She said, “I thought you might want this to color” and handed Peyton a color sheet with a picture of a dragonfly! I think it was Courtney’s way of saying she got my prayer request and she was taking care of it :) Courtney spent a lot of time praying for Peyton while she was still here, and it gives me big, warm fuzzies that she still does that. Thank You Lord, and thank you Court. I love you both...
Please pray for our little friend Elisha. He’s the cutie that we met our first week in treatment. He and Peyton became such great friends, we went on our Make A Wish trip to Disney World together last year. He’s been very ill lately and is bouncing in and out of ICU. We saw him for a while on Tuesday when Peyton was in for scans and he looked and acted great, but by early Saturday morning, he was in ICU again, but this time they put him on a ventilator. I went to see him Sunday, and he’s holding his own, but he’s critical. Please pray for he and his mom, Mary. I talked with Mary and she’s holding up pretty well. Please pray for God to continue to infuse her with His mercy and grace. Elisha has been in the hospital for about 3 months now, so you can imagine what toll this has taken on this little family. Keep checking his page. His family is great about keeping us updated on his progress.
We’ve had a lot of January birthdays, some of which I did not mention on here in time so…HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY to:
Aunt Stephanie (my best friend and the best little sister on the planet), Stacy (the 2nd best b-ball player in the WHOLE world—sorry girl, Courtney would let me have it if I said you were the best) Barry (THE GRILL MASTER!!) and Kenneth (Who’s your daddy Daisy??)
And HAPPY BIRTHDAY this week to: Kelly (my friend, my hero and my laugh-until-I-cry buddy!) and Dane (my best friend and God-given gift)
Have a blessed week.
Marni
Please sign the guestbook and let us know you were here. Peyton loves it when we read her what you wrote.
The Strength of an Egg By
Juliet Freitag
Parents of children with cancer, or really any serious condition, are often referred to or viewed as having strength "like a rock." Albeit flattering, it isn't quite true.
It is more like the strength of an egg. An egg, you ask? Yes! If you'll think about it, you'll see my point. An egg has a polished, smooth outer appearance, with no cracks or weak spots visible. It seems almost inconceivable that the inside might not be so smooth or solid.
Most children, at some point are shown the famous egg trick. An egg set at just the right angle can withstand enormous amounts of pressure and cannot be cracked or broken. Yet the same egg, tapped gently at an ever slightly different angle, will break. The contents, once so neatly concealed, will come spilling out. The no longer perfect shell will be crushed. It looks so fragile that it seems inconceivable that it ever held any strength.
A rock, on the other hand, is solid all the way through. To break it is almost impossible. If you succeed, you will find that there is nothing inside but more rock.
It takes a lot more than pure hardness to hold the hand of hope. Parents of children with cancer are not solid all the way through. We hurt, we fear, we cry, we hope. It takes a very careful balancing act to keep the shell from being shattered. "Balancing an egg" while running a household, going for doctors' visits and hospital stays, keeping the family together, and holding on to the constantly unraveling ties of your sanity can be very tricky indeed! Occasionally, the angle will be off and the shell will break, shattering hope and all the neatly secured appearances of a truly fragile existence.
Unlike Humpty Dumpty, though, parents of kids with cancer will pick themselves up and put themselves back together again. OVER and OVER again...........
I had this on the site a long time ago. For some reason I took it down, but I found it again and am so glad to have it back where it belongs...
by: Martina McBride
In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes
And when she wraps her hand around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about
It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daugter's eyes
In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes
Monday, January 23, 2006 9:49 AM CST
Sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child.
Hello again. We are finally breathing normally after the scare Peyton gave us last week with her scans. We are trying to get more milk and cheese down Peyton to help the weak spot in her ankle bone. She is a big fan of the kids yogurt so we will try and get more of that down her too. I am still on the hunt for a good calcium supplement too.
Other than clear scans, the good news for us this week is that Peyton’s teacher has started sending her home with Easy Reader books. Peyton read her first book to us on Wednesday and she is doing so doing great. Each time she reads well, we sign her homework sheet and Mrs. Moore sends home a new book. It’s so neat to see how excited she is about learning to read :)
I promised in my last update I would tell how Courtney helped us out during those scary hours we were worried about the bone scan. When she was with us, Courtney and her mom, Kelly, had a thing for dragonflies. Since Courtney went Home, Kelly has been collecting dragonflies items of all kinds. And I cannot see a cute dragonfly picture, piece of jewelry, or whatever, without thinking of Courtney. When Dr. Bowers sent us back down to Radiology to get X-rays of Peyton’s ankle, Pey and I were sitting at a little table and chairs waiting to be called back. The table had crayons and paper to color on. Peyton is coloring away and I am praying. I told God I would do this cancer thing again if He needed us to, but I did not really want to. Then I asked Courtney to please pray for us. No sooner had that prayer left my lips, then a lady from Radiology walked up to our table and handed Peyton a piece of paper. She said, “I thought you might want this to color” and handed Peyton a color sheet with a picture of a dragonfly! I think it was Courtney’s way of saying she got my prayer request and she was taking care of it :) Courtney spent a lot of time praying for Peyton while she was still here, and it gives me big, warm fuzzies that she still does that. Thank You Lord, and thank you Court. I love you both...
Please pray for our little friend Elisha. He’s the cutie that we met our first week in treatment. He and Peyton became such great friends, we went on our Make A Wish trip to Disney World together last year. He’s been very ill lately and is bouncing in and out of ICU. We saw him for a while on Tuesday when Peyton was in for scans and he looked and acted great, but by early Saturday morning, he was in ICU again, but this time they put him on a ventilator. I went to see him Sunday, and he’s holding his own, but he’s critical. Please pray for he and his mom, Mary. I talked with Mary and she’s holding up pretty well. Please pray for God to continue to infuse her with His mercy and grace. Elisha has been in the hospital for about 3 months now, so you can imagine what toll this has taken on this little family. Keep checking his page. His family is great about keeping us updated on his progress.
We’ve had a lot of January birthdays, some of which I did not mention on here in time so…HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY to:
Aunt Stephanie (my best friend and the best little sister on the planet), Stacy (the 2nd best b-ball player in the WHOLE world—sorry girl, Courtney would let me have it if I said you were the best) Barry (THE GRILL MASTER!!) and Kenneth (Who’s your daddy Daisy??)
And HAPPY BIRTHDAY this week to: Kelly (my friend, my hero and my laugh-until-I-cry buddy!) and Dane (my best friend and God-given gift)
Have a blessed week.
Marni
Please sign the guestbook and let us know you were here. Peyton loves it when we read her what you wrote.
When we started this page, we were discouraged to find no other CaringBridge pages for CCSK kids--and then, we found Andy. His mom had a list of other sites for kids with CCSK, and sent us the link. I should have put this link up months ago...Bless you, Terry, for giving us a way this last year to check on these other amazing kids and their progress
The Strength of an Egg By
Juliet Freitag
Parents of children with cancer, or really any serious condition, are often referred to or viewed as having strength "like a rock." Albeit flattering, it isn't quite true.
It is more like the strength of an egg. An egg, you ask? Yes! If you'll think about it, you'll see my point. An egg has a polished, smooth outer appearance, with no cracks or weak spots visible. It seems almost inconceivable that the inside might not be so smooth or solid.
Most children, at some point are shown the famous egg trick. An egg set at just the right angle can withstand enormous amounts of pressure and cannot be cracked or broken. Yet the same egg, tapped gently at an ever slightly different angle, will break. The contents, once so neatly concealed, will come spilling out. The no longer perfect shell will be crushed. It looks so fragile that it seems inconceivable that it ever held any strength.
A rock, on the other hand, is solid all the way through. To break it is almost impossible. If you succeed, you will find that there is nothing inside but more rock.
It takes a lot more than pure hardness to hold the hand of hope. Parents of children with cancer are not solid all the way through. We hurt, we fear, we cry, we hope. It takes a very careful balancing act to keep the shell from being shattered. "Balancing an egg" while running a household, going for doctors' visits and hospital stays, keeping the family together, and holding on to the constantly unraveling ties of your sanity can be very tricky indeed! Occasionally, the angle will be off and the shell will break, shattering hope and all the neatly secured appearances of a truly fragile existence.
Unlike Humpty Dumpty, though, parents of kids with cancer will pick themselves up and put themselves back together again. OVER and OVER again...........
Sunday, January 15, 2006 11:24 AM CST
Sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child.
UPDATE: Peyton's scans were clear! She gave us and Dr. Bowers a BIG scare when her bone scan showed an abnormality (read: potential tumor) in her left ankle. 2 very long hours later, Radiology confirmed it to be osteopenia in her ankle bone. We will ramp up Peyton's calcium intake and the bone weakening in that ankle should be corrected. The culprit is likely a combo of chemotherapy and perhaps exposure to long term antibiotics.
Please join us in thanking God for another day of great news for Peyton. When I update again, I'll tell you what role Courtney played in my prayers for the bone scan to be good news :) Our girl is still a prayer warrior for us and her best buddy Peyton...
New Photos on the Picture page!!
I wanted to do a brief update in order to get out some prayer requests. I'll update later this week after Peyton's scans are done...
1. Please pray for our little friend Kennedy. She has relapsed after being in remission for 21 months. Please also pray for her parents as they face this again. Kellye, we are praying for you guys and keep remembering to let God walk you through this "one day at a time". And our girl Courtney was quite the prayer warrior when she was here, so I know she is lifting Kennedy up to our Savior daily...
2. Please also pray for our friend Stacy. She is in Turkey. Pray for her safety and her peace while she's away from her family and friends...
3. Monique, Griffin's mom, is due soon with the baby. Please pray for a safe and easy delivery and for the baby to be healthy...
4. And of course, please pray for Peyton's scan day and scan results on Tuesday...
Marni
Please sign the guestbook and let us know you were here. Peyton loves it when we read her what you wrote.
When we started this page, we were discouraged to find no other CaringBridge pages for CCSK kids--and then, we found Andy. His mom had a list of other sites for kids with CCSK, and sent us the link. I should have put this link up months ago...Bless you, Terry, for giving us a way this last year to check on these other amazing kids and their progress
The Strength of an Egg By
Juliet Freitag
Parents of children with cancer, or really any serious condition, are often referred to or viewed as having strength "like a rock." Albeit flattering, it isn't quite true.
It is more like the strength of an egg. An egg, you ask? Yes! If you'll think about it, you'll see my point. An egg has a polished, smooth outer appearance, with no cracks or weak spots visible. It seems almost inconceivable that the inside might not be so smooth or solid.
Most children, at some point are shown the famous egg trick. An egg set at just the right angle can withstand enormous amounts of pressure and cannot be cracked or broken. Yet the same egg, tapped gently at an ever slightly different angle, will break. The contents, once so neatly concealed, will come spilling out. The no longer perfect shell will be crushed. It looks so fragile that it seems inconceivable that it ever held any strength.
A rock, on the other hand, is solid all the way through. To break it is almost impossible. If you succeed, you will find that there is nothing inside but more rock.
It takes a lot more than pure hardness to hold the hand of hope. Parents of children with cancer are not solid all the way through. We hurt, we fear, we cry, we hope. It takes a very careful balancing act to keep the shell from being shattered. "Balancing an egg" while running a household, going for doctors' visits and hospital stays, keeping the family together, and holding on to the constantly unraveling ties of your sanity can be very tricky indeed! Occasionally, the angle will be off and the shell will break, shattering hope and all the neatly secured appearances of a truly fragile existence.
Unlike Humpty Dumpty, though, parents of kids with cancer will pick themselves up and put themselves back together again. OVER and OVER again...........
Thursday, January 5, 2006 11:45 AM CST
Sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child.
UPATE: Clinic just called and Peyton is scheduled for her routine scans on January 17. We'll be seen in clinic that day for results. Here is what I need from my prayer warriors:
1. Please pray for clear scans and Peyton to have an easy day with all the IV pokes, blood draws and contrast
2. I haven't set foot in clinic since November. For the last year she was with us, I would go to Courtney's weekly appointments with she, Kelly and Britney. It's going to be hard to be back up there and all the memories it's going to trigger...
***************************************
Hello again...
I really intended to update yesterday and acknowledge the one year anniversary of Griffin going to Heaven, but I just couldn't quite do it. I thought of him all day, and it was all good thoughts. I talked to Mo and she seemed to be holding up well. We agreed that it wasn't January 4th that was so hard, it was the days leading up to it. But we made it through.
I spent all day yesterday re-living last January 4. In the early morning hours before he left us, Griffy had some specific things he told me to go tell Courtney and told me to tell her only after he left to go to Heaven. That night, we drove out to Courtney's and I sat her down at her kitchen table and told her the things Griffin needed her to know. Grif swore me to secrecy or I would tell you all. The things he had me say to her were so loving and so wise beyond his years...Court and I spent time praying for Griffin's family and thanking God for taking Grif and making him well again. That memory makes me miss them both so much, but I rejoice that they are together and are eagerly waiting for the rest of us to join them.
A few months ago, a song I had long forgotten about came back into my life and everytime I hear it, I think of Griffin. Here it is...
Dragon tales and the "water is wide"
Pirate's sail and lost boys fly
Fish bite moonbeams every night
And I love you
Godspeed, little man
Sweet dreams, little man
Oh my love will fly to you each night on angels wings
Godspeed
Sweet dreams
The rocket racer's all tuckered out
Superman's in pajamas on the couch
Goodnight moon, we'll find the mouse
And I love you
Godspeed, little man
Sweet dreams, little man
Oh my love will fly to you each night on angels wings
Godspeed
Sweet dreams
God bless mommy and match box cars
God bless dad and thanks for the stars
God hears "Amen," wherever you are
And I love you
Godspeed, little man
Sweet dreams, little man
Oh my love will fly to you each night on angels wings
Godspeed
Godspeed
Godspeed
Sweet dreams
Peyton is doing well. She got what she wanted from Santa but she wasn't very happy about the 2 week Christmas break. She REALLY loves school and couldn't wait to get back to see her friends and Mrs. Moore.
Pey is due for scans this month. I have nothing but peace about the results, but I really don't like scan days. They stress Peyton out since she has to get IV's and drink so much contrast. Our saving grace is usually Andrea. She was one of our clinical nurses and now she's in Radiology and Peyton ADORES her. She calls her Princess Andrea and you know Peyton doesn't throw that title out to just anyone!
Peyton is starting to talk about Courtney alot now. After Court first went Home, Peyton talked about her a lot, then she stopped talking about her altogether. I've really worried about that and kept trying to get Peyton to open up about how she's feeling. She wanted NO part of opening up for a while. I think it's just how she needed to deal with her own grief and loss. Some days I am overwhelmed by what Peyton has had to endure the last 2 years of her life. No child should lose her 2 best friends and be threatened with her own life as well. I've been praying for Peyton's peace and God is answering. Since Christmas, Peyton not only talks about Courtney daily, but it's all positive and full of hope. Everynight she prays for Courtney's family and her prayers are amazing. She asks God to make them not sad and to remind them that we will all see her again in Heaven. Then she tells God thank you for giving Courtney to us and for all the "times she came to spend the night with me" :) Then she tells God that even though she is so, so sad that Courtney had to leave, she is so, so glad that she isn't sick anymore and can laugh with Jesus every single day.
She stuns me. She is so young and has been burdened with more in her 5 years than most of us will see in a lifetime and she knows to praise God despite her pain. If that isn't a testimony, I don't know what is...
Griffy and Court--I love you both beyond words and although this week has made me ache with how much I miss you, the memories surrounding this time last year are overwhelming evidence of how good our God is. I tell Him everyday, but you tell our Lord how grateful I am that He gave you to me to love. I CAN'T WAIT to see you both again. We have SO much to talk about :)
Please continue to pray for Court and Grif's families.
Love,
Marni
Please sign the guestbook and let us know you were here. Peyton loves it when we read her what you wrote.
When we started this page, we were discouraged to find no other CaringBridge pages for CCSK kids--and then, we found Andy. His mom had a list of other sites for kids with CCSK, and sent us the link. I should have put this link up months ago...Bless you, Terry, for giving us a way this last year to check on these other amazing kids and their progress
The Strength of an Egg By
Juliet Freitag
Parents of children with cancer, or really any serious condition, are often referred to or viewed as having strength "like a rock." Albeit flattering, it isn't quite true.
It is more like the strength of an egg. An egg, you ask? Yes! If you'll think about it, you'll see my point. An egg has a polished, smooth outer appearance, with no cracks or weak spots visible. It seems almost inconceivable that the inside might not be so smooth or solid.
Most children, at some point are shown the famous egg trick. An egg set at just the right angle can withstand enormous amounts of pressure and cannot be cracked or broken. Yet the same egg, tapped gently at an ever slightly different angle, will break. The contents, once so neatly concealed, will come spilling out. The no longer perfect shell will be crushed. It looks so fragile that it seems inconceivable that it ever held any strength.
A rock, on the other hand, is solid all the way through. To break it is almost impossible. If you succeed, you will find that there is nothing inside but more rock.
It takes a lot more than pure hardness to hold the hand of hope. Parents of children with cancer are not solid all the way through. We hurt, we fear, we cry, we hope. It takes a very careful balancing act to keep the shell from being shattered. "Balancing an egg" while running a household, going for doctors' visits and hospital stays, keeping the family together, and holding on to the constantly unraveling ties of your sanity can be very tricky indeed! Occasionally, the angle will be off and the shell will break, shattering hope and all the neatly secured appearances of a truly fragile existence.
Unlike Humpty Dumpty, though, parents of kids with cancer will pick themselves up and put themselves back together again. OVER and OVER again...........
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