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Thursday, April 9, 2009 1:13 PM CDT
We are asking you to pray for an amazing young man named Adam Wisdom and his family. Adam will soon be joining our precious little girl in heaven and his family and friends covet your prayers as they face this ordeal.
They are living out the gospel of Christ in front of countless people and it is our prayer that God gives them a glimpse of His glory and lets them see people come to know Jesus as their savior through what Adam is going through.
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/adamwisdom
Thank you from the depths of our hearts,
John & Johnelle
Kailie's mommy & daddy forever
Monday, August 18, 2008 9:04 AM CDT
We can't believe it's been four years since we held our little girl's hand. We miss Kailie so much. John was being teased about his bald head recently and it was mentioned that if you rub his head a genie would come out and you could make a wish. Someone asked us if we had one wish, what it would be. Our first answer is that Jesus would come back. They said that wasn't allowed so we said we wished Kailie could come back. Upon saying that, we very quickly took back our answer because never in a million years would we want her to leave the perfect place in Heaven with Jesus to come to this earth again. We will be content to finish our life here on earth and see her when God calls each of us home.
A lot has happened in the past eight years. God has brought us to places we never thought we would go as parents. We NEVER thought we would have a child with cancer. We never thought we would have to watch one of our children pass from this life into Jesus' arms. Not sure if we ever thought we would have a son in the military. It seemed like a dream to think Jaren would ever be a freshman in high school and that he would be doing so well after his first week. NEVER (until two years ago) did we ever consider adopting a child. God has a funny way of leading you where He wants you to go, even though you don't have a clue. He's good that way.
Many of you know that two years ago, after a mission trip to Guatemala, we began the process of adoption. We thought we would pursue the adoption of a baby girl from Guatemala. A year later, we put the process on hold, due to the fact that it is so expensive and we weren't sure if this is indeed where God was leading us. In February (within 1 hour) we found out that two families we know were pursuing adoption through Missouri's foster care system. We prayed about it and made a few calls. We were given the state's website to go to for information. After reading A LOT of information, we stumbled upon the photo listing of children available for adoption in Missouri. It was there that we saw her. A nine year old girl with the most amazing brown eyes…there was something about her. Her short bio caught our attention. Her interests were very much like ours. She liked biking and swimming. She wanted to learn how to play guitar. She wanted a Christian family. She also wanted a big brother and a daddy. Within 2 days, we had spoken to her case manager. Three weeks later, we began our training to become foster parents and were told that they would wait until we were done so we could be considered as a family for this little girl. Three weeks later (April 26), we met her for the first time. Two weeks later (Mother's Day weekend) we spent another afternoon with her. The process began to move slowly as the time drew near for her team to choose a family for her. Finally, last Monday, August 11, the day after we returned from our second mission trip to Guatemala, we were chosen to be her forever family. Her name is Jazzmine.
Here is just one little tidbit of how good God is…we got to go get her this weekend for her first visit to our house. Friday, August 15th, was four years since Kailie left us on this earth and went to be with her savior, Jesus. This was also the day that we got to go pick up Jazzmine for the first time knowing she would be a part of our family. In the midst of a painful day of missing Kailie, God gave us the gift of another precious little girl. He is good! We learned a phrase two weeks ago in Guatemala...Dios es Bueno! It means "God is good." All we have to say is, "Dios es muey, muey, muey, muey, Bueno!"
He was good when He gave us three beautiful children. He was good when Kailie got sick and then went to Heaven to be with Him. And He was good when He lead us to Jazzmine.
Job said it very well:
"The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD." Job 1:20
It is our desire to praise Him at all times...when He is giving and even when He has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord!
We would rather not share pictures of Jazzmine on this page at this time, but if you want to see some, email us and we will be glad to share them that way.
Kailie, we miss you more than words can say. We wish you were here to meet your little sister. You would be such an amazing influence in her life. You still can be because your life still lives on even though you are not here with us. We are thankful that God allowed us to have you for thirteen years. We can't wait until we get to see you again.
Remember, Dios es Bueno...all the time!
John & Johnelle
Wednesday, April 2, 2008 3:37 PM CDT
**JOIN KAILIE’S KREW**
As we Walk with a Friend in Memory of Kailie
We are inviting you to join Kailie’s Krew as we walk/run in memory of Kailie at the 7th Annual Friends of Kids with Cancer “Walk with a Friend.” It is being held April 19th at 9:00am at Maryville Center. We are asking that our team be there at 8:30 for handing out t-shirts and to take a team picture. This will be the Krew’s fifth year to participate in the event. Our first team was in October 2004, just after Kailie passed away.
Friends of Kids with Cancer touched Kailie's life and the lives of everyone in our family...from the Friends of Kids with Cancer Fashion Show every fall to the Winter Wonderland and Halloween parties. Friends provides pretty much every bit of fun to be had at the doctor's office while kids are receiving treatment. You wouldn’t think the word “fun” would be used to describe a kids cancer treatment center, but Friends made sure it was. The biggest impact Friends had on Kailie's life, we think, is their provision of an art therapy program. That is where she met Tasha, the art therapist. She loved Tasha! That was the highlight of her week. We are very thankful for Tasha, too. We have been left with MANY pieces of artwork that Kailie did over the years she was in treatment. THANKS TASHA!!
Kailie also loved being in the fashion show. They really treat the kids like stars…because that’s what they are! One year that Kailie was in the fashion show, we were able to purchase one of the dresses that she got to wear. She was so excited!! They always had professional pictures taken of each of the kids in the show. That has captured some wonderful memories for us!
Our boys have enjoyed the many Cardinals, Rams, and Blues games that they have been able to go to because of Friends. They still call us when the Rams play the Chiefs!! They are the best!
The walk is so much fun! There is a lot for the kids to do. There is something new every year. Last year, there was a fire truck for the kids to climb on, an ambulance, a big rig, inflatables, and more!
If you would be interested in joining Kailie’s Krew, please email us at jnjrhines@charter.net and we can fill you in on all of the details. You can also go to friendsofkids.com and find out more about this amazing charity.
Below is something Kailie wrote about Friends:
Friends of Kids With Cancer has helped me throughout treatment in a lot of ways. They helped me focus on the good things, not the bad. They gave me something to look forward to like the Big Shelf, trips to the zoo, and gift certificates! They made the doctor’s office a fun place to be when that was the only place I could go. They gave me some good memories to carry with me all throughout my life.”
- Kailie Rhines
Check out the picture link for some “Friends” pictures!! We hope you can join us for the walk!
John & Johnelle
Tuesday, March 25, 2008 12:33 AM CDT
Kailie wrote this on March 24, 2003. If we close our eyes we can imagine hearing her voice. It's been over 3 1/2 years since we've heard her last words and they are just as clear today.
We love you Kailie, and we always will. We had a good Easter, but it just wasn't the same without you there with us.
We'll talk to you soon, precious.
Your mommy & daddy 4-ever
----------------------------------------
Monday, March 24, 2003 8:04 PM CST
Good Evening!!!!!
Wasn't today a beautiful day? I felt great today so Jaren, Mom, and I rode seven miles on the Katy Trail. It was so fun! I am going to be sore tomorrow. It was really nice to be able to get out of the house and have some fun. I am really thankful that I felt like doing it. Liza was VERY depressed because she thought that we only had to leave for a piano lesson! Tomorrow is my third TH (Therapeutic Horsemanship) lesson. It's really fun to ride Champ. He is so sweet, but I have to admit impatient. That's okay though. Ian went to Michigan for the week. He'll be back Thursday. I miss him. Some sisters would be so delighted to get rid of their brothers for a few days, but not me. At least he isn't going to California!!! :) When he went to California, he was gone for two and a half weeks! I really missed him then. It was weird not having Ian around during school today. I haven't been feeling good and today is the first day that I have really felt like doing anything. My counts are going up so I don't have to go to the doctor until Friday. Yeah!!! Well, I have to go and I hope that you all have a great rest of the week!
God Bless!
Kailie:)
Friday, December 28, 2007 4:38 PM CST
We want to wish everyone and Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Christmas was difficult again. That’s probably how it will always be. The reminder of Kailie not being here is so prominent. Christmas shopping for just the boys. Seeing all of the cousins together without her. Christmas baking without her. Her empty Eeyore stocking. But, there is so much to be thankful for. Ian has been home with us since the Thursday before Christmas and isn’t leaving until January 1. We had a wonderful time in Kansas City with both sides of our family. The boys enjoyed spending time with their cousins. Most of all, we are thankful for what Christmas means. We are thankful not just that Jesus came to this earth, but the reason he came…to save to world from their sins and make a way for us to be reconciled to God in a relationship through Jesus.
Romans 5:1-11
Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.
That is why we celebrate! Not because we get presents or even that we all get to be together, but we celebrate Jesus’ birth and why he came to this earth.
It’s been an emotional week. We can tell Jaren is really missing Kailie. He doesn’t always come out and say it, but we know he does. He wrote the following poem and gave it to us on Christmas morning:
AN ODE TO KAILIE RHINES
A girl that came on this earth,
A so beautiful creation at birth.
Knowing that she will be missed,
We all wish we could give her a kiss.
Kailie Amanda Rhines
July 1, 1991 – August 15, 2004
We wish you could be here on earth for Christmas with us. But someday, we will celebrate Christmas forever.
We pray that you will celebrate the holidays knowing what God HAS given you. A SAVIOR!! There's more...We did have 13 wonderful years and millions of happy memories with our girl!
John and Johnelle
Thanks to all who sign the guestbook! It means so much to us that you still think of Kailie and visit her site!
Check out Christmas pictures on the photos page!!
Monday, November 5, 2007 4:07 PM CST
We can’t believe it has been almost three months since we have updated Kailie’s website. It’s not that we don’t want to. We are just finding it very hard to do. In the midst of everything going on in our lives, the thought of Kailie being gone is still there in the forefront of everything.
The holidays are approaching…another Thanksgiving with all of the nieces and nephews except for Kailie. Then there is Christmas…another Christmas to celebrate with only two kids to buy presents for (yes, we know that Christmas isn’t about the presents). As I sit and reflect on this, I think about 1 Thessalonians 5:18:
“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”
We know that spending the rest of our lives without Kailie here with us is the circumstances that God has us in and we trust Him with that. There is a lot to be thankful for…the list is endless. Ian gets to come home for Thanksgiving for a couple of days and for Christmas, he will be home from December 20 until January 2. That will be great for us all to be together, especially for Jaren. It will be good for Ian, too. He can’t wait to be home for a while. He is looking forward to spending time with his family and friends. It gets very lonely with only one kiddo at home now. It’s lonely for us and for Jaren, but we are thankful we have each other and we have had some great times together lately as God continues to grow us as parents. We are thankful that God has brought so many kids into our lives to love on. We have had many opportunities lately to share with Jaren that God has given him many little brothers and sisters…from our small group at church to our friends who have little kids. It has been cool to tell him that God is meeting his need to be a brother, by bringing them into his life.
God continues to show us that He is sufficient. He is all we need. In His mercy, He provides for our every need.
Just like Paul (in 2 Corinthians), we would love for our thorn in the flesh to be taken away, which is the pain of losing Kailie. Paul asked God three times if He would take it away. Do you know what God said to Him? He said, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” To which Paul said, “Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:7-10)
If this is what keeps us realizing our desperate need for Christ, then we accept it. In our weakness, He is showing Himself strong! Oh, how we praise Him for being all that we need!
We hope you have a Happy Thanksgiving being thankful for the fact that God has provided for our every need through His Son, Jesus!
John & Johnelle
Friday, August 10, 2007 11:20 AM CDT
"It Is Well with My Soul" is a very influential hymn penned by hymnist Horatio Spafford and composed by Philip Bliss. This hymn was written after several traumatic events in Spafford’s life. The first was the death of his only son in 1871, shortly followed by the great Chicago Fire which ruined him financially (he had been a wealthy businessman). Then in 1873, he had planned to travel to Europe with his family on the S. S. Ville Du Havre, but sent the family ahead while he was delayed on business. While crossing the Atlantic, the ship sank rapidly after a collision with another ship, and all four of Spafford’s daughters died. Spafford’s wife Anna survived and sent him the now famous telegram, "Saved alone." Shortly afterwards, as Spafford traveled to meet his grieving wife, he was inspired to write these words as his ship passed near where his daughters had died.
When peace like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
20 Years
16 Years
14 Years
13 Years, 1 Month, 14 Days
3 Years, 10 Months, 13 Days
2 Years, 11 Months, 25 Days
Last week Jaren said something that absolutely broke our hearts. He was at North Face (youth group) August 1, they were having a game night and he wasn't having a very good time. He just doesn't do very well in unstructured environments and he called us to come pick him up early. There was a boy there who was playing around with Jaren, but Jaren thought he was being mean. He just doesn't understand all of the dynamics involved in social situations. Jaren was pretty upset about it when we picked him up and was thinking about it the rest of the night. After he took a shower he came downstairs and told us "In fourteen days the worst day of my life will be here. I wish Kailie were here. She would go to North Face with me and I would at least have somebody to talk to." That was a very crushing statement from him.
This past Wednesday we received a call from Ian telling us that he will be leaving August 21 to begin a 4 year stint in the Army. He will begin training to become a combat medic as an Army Ranger. He said he will be in Ft. Sam Houston Texas for 16 weeks then go to Ft. Benning Georgia for 9 weeks, after which he will be deployed for up to 90 days at a time. He said he would definitely be heading to Iraq as his first deployment. Ian was released from his reserve unit about 2 weeks ago so he could go active duty. In the back of our minds we were thinking about how this would affect Jaren. When Ian leaves Jaren will not have any siblings around at all. Jaren hates being the only one at home, he thinks about it all the time. He doesn't like it that there are no other kids in the house. He was looking forward to Ian possibly moving back home at the end of his lease in November; now that's not going to happen.
We really didn't need another reminder that Kailie isn't here.
We can't get over how much her death hurts our boys. The pain they feel is horrible and there isn't much we can do except love them and be there for them. There are times we just don't understand how this could have happened to them. Kailie was in the middle of our boys; 4 years younger than Ian and 2 years older than Jaren. Regardless of how old the boys would get, they would always have had Kailie in the middle of them. They each shared a common bond with her. She was old enough that both boys could relate to her and would always be able to identify with her. Not anymore. The pain that we feel inside is indescribable. This is one of those times that we believe on faith that God is totally sovereign, he loves us and our security rests in him and not the things of this world.
Please, please pray for our boys. Pray for Ian's protection and for us to be everything that Jaren needs right now to help comfort him and that God would send someone else his way to minister to him.
The adoption process is on indefinite hold right now, the money just isn't there. We have come to the conclusion that we are going to sell our house when the real estate market turns around. We have a large 4 bedroom house on 2 acres and we just don't need the room since Ian is going to be gone for 4 years and we don't have another little one around the house. What is God doing through all of this? We don't know. Sometimes you wish you could have a "Bruce Almighty" moment and have God answer you out loud when you have a question. There are times when we want to scream up to heaven and ask God what is next, or what will happen to change things around, or when will certain trials be over. What is God doing? We don't know. It is times like this when our faith is tested and we hear the Holy Spirit whisper in your ear that "my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways (Isaiah 55:7-9)".
In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith-more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire-may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls. – 1 Peter 1:6-9
Wow, does all of that sound pretty heavy, hard to deal with or accept or cause you to question why all of this is happening? Yeah, it is heavy, it is hard to deal with and we do have questions about why God has and is allowing all of this to happen. The bottom line is that God wants 100 percent of our lives and he wants us to pour out our lives for Him and to share Jesus with as many people as possible.
How do we deal with all of this? We don't. We can't. We don't know how. But God does and we must rely on Him completely to see us through all of this.
We live each day with as much joy as possible. We are thankful beyond words for what God was done for us. We have many happy memories of when our kids were together. We are very thankful that Kailie is no longer suffering from a wicked disease that robbed her of who she was. We are so blessed that God gave us three awesome kids to love and rear according to His word. We hold fast to the profession of our faith, and rely on Jesus Christ for help.
However, the hurt continues. The pain is still there. The uncertainty doesn't go away. Kailie is still gone and Ian is still leaving on August 21 (the day of her funeral) but throughout it all God is faithful.
20 Years – How old Ian is now.
16 Years – How old Kailie would be if she were still here with us.
14 Years – How old Jaren is (one year older than Kailie had a chance to be)
13 Years, 1 Month, 14 Days – How old Kailie was when she went to be with Jesus.
3 Years, 10 Months, 13 Days – How long Kailie endured treatment.
2 Years, 11 Months, 25 Days – How long Kailie has been gone from us.
Kailie, we miss you sweet girl. We want to hold you so bad. We miss hearing your precious voice. We want to hear you play the piano again. We want to hear you say that you love us. You will never be forgotten, nor can you be. You will be in our hearts forever and ever. Each day we live takes us one more day closer to seeing you. Until our sovereign king calls us home we will praise him for what he has done for us. Praise Jesus you have been healed. The pain is over. The tubes are gone. You have been made whole and are now complete in Christ.
I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth. Psalm 121:1-3
When peace like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.
We love you Looliebell.
Your mommy & daddy forever, xoxo
Monday, June 25, 2007 3:32 PM CDT
July 1st would have been Kailie’s 16th birthday. It is hard to imagine that if she were here with us she would be getting ready to celebrate her Sweet 16 and getting her driver’s license. We miss her so much. She was such an amazing girl and brought so much joy to our lives. The boys miss her, too. Ian was talking just the other day how protective he would have been when she started dating. He said he probably would have done it to annoy her, but we know he wanted to protect her out of the love he had (has) for her. He once took out a 11 year old (he was 12) because he wouldn’t stop making fun of her about her two front teeth missing. (Ian didn’t really take him out, he just gave him a stern warning.)
We are going to celebrate her birthday the way we have for the past 2 birthdays. We are going to her favorite restaurant (Pasta House). We will eat her favorite dish there (fettuccini and Ceasar salad). We will then go to her place and send her 16 purple balloons. Jaren decided that he wants to go to Bhild-A-Bear and make her a horse and name it Champ. Champ is the name of the horse that Kailie rode at Therapeutic Horsemanship.
We wanted to share you a journal entry that Kailie wrote a couple of days before her 12th birthday, the last one we would get to really celebrate with her awake and here with us. We hope it encourages you. She had such an amazing trust in God and His plan for her life. It has taught us to trust Him in His plan for ours, which includes continuing to live our lives here on earth and doing whatever it takes to give Him glory and sharing the love of Christ with others.
In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith--more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire--may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls. 1 Peter 1:6-9
This was Kailie’s heart, as you will read in the following update:
Friday, June 27, 2003 4:52 PM CDT
HARRAY!!!!
I got chemo today!!!!! You probably think I’m nuts or something to say that I am excited I got chemo. Well, I am. I does seem kind of silly though. Today I had an x-ray of my heel/ankle because my heel has been hurting me. No broken bones, no sprains! Dr. Bob just said that I probably bruised it. You may not have seen my counts from Monday...
HGB 9.9
PLT 82
WBC 0.8
ANC 448
Stinky aren’t they? I think so. But look at these!!!!!!!!!
HGB 10.3
PLT 95
WBC 1.6
ANC 1344
Isn’t that GREAT!!! I am so excited. I’ll tell you why. Every week I get chemo it just takes one week off the countdown. I have exactly 33 weeks to go! At the end of everything I have one more bone marrow biopsy and that’s IT!!!! I can’t wait to be done. There is one patient in the office that was diagnosed ten days after me and has one more spinal left. I have two.
God has really helped me through this. I couldn’t have fought cancer without Him. I still can’t. One of my favorite verses it, He is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear? He is the strength of my life of whom shall I be afraid?
I know that whatever happens God will handle it. He is in control.
Jay, one of my fellow patients got to go home from the hospital today. He is going strait to the mattress store to get a new mattress. His birthday is July 13th. He’s been in the hospital so much. Out of the 375 days of treatment he has been in 215. That’s a lot.
Well, I have to go. I just wanted to post a quick update. Sorry I haven’t been doing that lately. My family and I have VBS this week. (Vacation Bible School)
Ian is helping out in recreation, Jaren and I are in it, Dad is a tour guide, and Mom helps teach. My birthday is Tuesday! I will be twelve. Someone told me today that I am getting old. I thought that was kind of funny, considering they were a lot older than me.
Have a great weekend! I’ll try to update again soon!
With Love,
Kailie
A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
Proverbs 17:17
Check out Kailie's birthday pictures!!
Thursday, June 14, 2007 12:16 AM CDT
We love you Kailie, and miss you so much. It seems that our hearts continue to break more and more as time goes on. You are still so much a part of our lives and we miss having you with us. Life will never be the same without you, precious. You may now be 16 (almost) in heaven, but you are still our punkinseed forever and ever!!
We love you precious,
Mommy & Daddy 4ever
Monday, June 14, 2004 10:07 PM CDT
We have additional information to post about Kailie and wanted to take this opportunity to thank you praying for Kailie and the rest of us too.
John has to get back to the hospital to spend the night with Kailie so this won't be too long. She calls him the "Dying Warthog"...he allegedly snores.
We can't believe what has happened in the past 96 hours. God is still in control regardless of the news.
We found out today that Kailie has indeed relapsed. She does have ALL, as a reminder that stands for Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. This is in addition to the rare blood disorder called HLH (Hemophagocytic Lymphohistiocytosis). We never thought she would receive 2 diagnoses in 4 days. She is a very special little girl; but we don't want her to be special in this way at all!
Kailie started a horrible protocol today that is designed to bring both diseases into remission. It involves 30 days of intense chemotherapy followed by a bone marrow or stem cell transplant. We have decided that we are going to go to Cardinal Glennon for the transplant. The plan is for the boys to be tested this week to see if they are a match. If they are not then they will look for cord blood, and finally to the national bone marrow registry if required.
Our church is obtaining information so we can have a bone marrow drive as soon as possible.
Kailie is the PICU at St. John's. We don't know that the future holds for her, but we know that God is in control that that is all that matters. There are not many answers at all regarding the combination of these two diseases. We thought this was all over; apparently God had a few things he wanted to still teach us.
We told Kailie today that she has relapsed and will be facing a BMT. We didn't mention HLH; it is difficult enough to explain to an adult much less a little girl. I guess she isn't that little anymore; she will be 13 on July 1.
Dr. Rob isn't able to give us a prognosis for this at all. That doesn't matter because God doesn't care about percentages; he can heal Kailie regardless of what anyone predicts. Please pray that God will heal her; on this earth and that we will have many more years together and someday be grandparents of her precious children. We will keep in touch and give you an update as soon as we can.
Before we end this; take this chance to go to your children and tell them how much you love them. Tell them you are thankful God gave them to you. Tell them they are a joy; if you can't say that then ask God for strength so you can become the parent he wants you to be. Do not let a single day pass without telling your kids you love them. Take every opportunity you have to hug your kids. Give them a kiss and remember the joy you had when they were born. Thank Jesus for the day you have had today with your kids.
We covet your prayers and thank God in advance for your faithfulness.
In Christ,
John & Johnelle Rhines
Tuesday, May 29, 2007 3:04 PM CDT
Below is an update that Kailie made 3 years ago.
Monday, May 24, 2004 1:37 PM CDT
Hello!
How are ya’ll today? I am good. Last night I talked to a running coach about running the 5 K. in October. I was wrong; I thought it was September, yea! I have more time! I am going to run a half mile more every three weeks, and by October I will be able to run 3.5 miles. I got my cast off!!! I have to wear a splint for three weeks (as long as I had to wear the cast for cryin’ out loud!) I think that is ridiculous. I am feeling really good. I have my last horseback riding lesson tonight. I got Foxy two peppermints and an apple. She will be one happy horse! Well, I don’t have much more to write. I will update again soon! Have a great week!
Psalm 91:1
He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.
Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence.
He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.
Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; nor for the arrow that flieth by day;
Nor for the pestilence that walketh in darkness; nor for the destruction that wasteth at noonday.
A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; but it shall not come nigh thee.
Only with thine eyes shalt thou behold and see the reward of the wicked.
Because thou hast made the LORD, which is my refuge, even the most High, thy habitation;
There shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling.
For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways.
They shall bear thee up in their hands, lest thou dash thy foot against a stone.
Thou shalt tread upon the lion and adder: the young lion and the dragon shalt thou trample under feet.
Because he hath set his love upon me, therefore will I deliver him: I will set him on high, because he hath known my name.
He shall call upon me, and I will answer him: I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him, and honour him.
With long life will I satisfy him, and shew him my salvation.
God Bless!
Kailie Rhines
How precious was that? It brings tears to our eyes to think about how much her face lit up when she was around horses. When her riding lesson was over, she would trustingly hold a peppermint in the palm of her hand for the horse. She would have us cut up an apple so she could give it to the horse in two pieces. She loved making the horses happy.
It would have been so awesome to see her run the 5k at the Friends walk. She hated the nerve damage in her ankles as a result of chemotherapy drugs. She was just excited to be on her way to being a normal adolescent and would have run it regardless of how she looked or felt. Now she gets to run, jump and dance for joy as she worships her Father in heaven.
This is one of the verses she had used during her update on Monday, May 24, 2004.
Psalm 91:2 I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.
Our Lord God is the only refuge and fortress we have. We do trust in Him; just like Kailie did.
We love you very much Kailie and miss you more than words can begin to express.
Your mommy & daddy forever
One of the verses she had up above was
Saturday, April 7, 2007 8:09 PM CDT
**JOIN KAILIE'S KREW!!**
We would like to invite you to walk with Kailie's Krew in memory of Kailie in the 2007 Friends of Kids with Cancer Walk with a Friend. It is being held Saturday, April 21 at Maryville Center. Kailie's Krew is meeting at 7:30 for pictures and the walk starts at 8:00. We would love for you to be there! Email us at kares4kailie@charter.net for more info. You can also go to friendsofkids.com and learn more about this amazing charity!
Previous Update:
Saturday April 7, 2007
We received a wonderful surprise in Friday’s mail. It was a copy of a card that Kailie had sent to Rachel who was one of her big sisters at the doctors’ office. Rachel is a living miracle and we are very thankful her and the impact she had on Kailie’s life. Rachel is a very special person to many children. She was a source of inspiration, encouragement, friendship and kindness to many kids at Dr. Bob & Rob’s office.
Kailie sent this Easter card to Rachel in April 2004. We are so thankful to have received a copy of it from Rachel. Thanks Rach!!
Dear Rachel,
I just wanted to let you know that you are always in my thoughts and prayers. You are such a special person. You are very special to me. When you aren’t feeling well; you look for the good in things. You have taught me to do the same. I am so thankful that God put us here; that He wanted us to be lifelong friends. I hope you have a great Easter. When I’m feeling awful, I also remember how much God loves me and that He sent His only Son to die on the cross. Jesus’ suffering was probably far worse than mine. I love you. Happy Easter!
Love,
Kailie
Happy Easter Kailie! We love you very much sweetheart. It must be awesome to spend every day with Jesus. We are jealous, but we know that one day we will spend eternity with Him and be reunited with you forever and ever.
We love you infinity,
Your Mommy & Daddy 4ever
Monday, March 19, 2007 1:35 PM CDT
We know it has been a very long time since we have updated Kailie's site, it's something we don't always look forward to. The past month or so has been very difficult for us, maybe it's because spring is almost here and there are so many trees budding, flowers blooming, and fun stuff to do and we're entering another season without Kailie. Over the weekend Johnelle went and picked up new flowers for Kailie's place, and that is just very hard to do. Parents are not supposed to do that, they just aren't. Each and every day that we are alive is filled with memories of our family having such a good time living life with each other. Our life wasn't perfect, but we were together just the same. The emptiness and pain hasn't subsided at all. The tears may not be as frequent as they once were, but the pain hasn't changed at all. However things continue to change around us, Kailie's place now has a beautiful marker instead of a plastic nameplate, her magnolia tree Maggie is budding and will flower this year, Ian will be turning 20 this year and Jaren will be 14. Kailie would be 16 and driving by herself this year. So many things would be happening right now with her, her friends, her hobbies, her future, her entire life would still be ahead of her. Instead of that, her room will never be occupied again, her new ice skates will never see the ice again, her piano isn't played that much, her doggy Liza Jane is getting older, her brothers are getting taller, her mommy and daddy are getting more gray hair, life continues on so to speak. Yes, we go on living but we sure aren't living the way we once did. We used to live with so much more happiness and joy. Now we must choose to have joy and be happy. Her precious life was severed by a wretched disease that kills and destroys people from the inside out. It destroys families too. Our little girl went from being a vibrant happy person to someone who depended on technology to help her exist in this world.
Kailie, oh precious Kailie we miss you so much sweetheart. There isn't anything we wouldn't give to spend one more moment with her. Just to kiss her soft cheek. To tell her how much we love her. To look into her loving eyes and see how much she loved us. To tenderly hold and comfort her when she was hurting. To hear her read her latest story to us. To hear of what she and Julie were planning on writing about next. There are just too many things for us to put down on paper that we miss about her.
Ian has moved out into his own apartment and it has been pretty hard on Jaren. We now have two empty bedrooms in our house and we don't like it. We never thought we would only have one child at home; at least not in this way.
Three years ago Kailie was enjoying spring as a little girl who had just finished chemo and was looking forward to being able to celebrate her first six month anniversary of being cancer free and off chemo. She was looking forward to recovering what cancer had stolen from her. She was talking about a future without transfusions, chemotherapy, doctor's offices, and hospitals, full of happiness that would one day see her married and with children of her own. That never happened. She would have made an excellent mommy. Her kids would have thought she was just the greatest on earth. She wanted to run so badly again without limping. She was looking forward to riding tandem with Coach Chris, but she didn't get to do those things either.
We are still planning on adopting, but we are at a complete standstill right now because of lousy money. It takes money to do everything, and we just don't have the money necessary to proceed forward with the adoption. Too bad you can't sell a liver, a kidney or something like that. We aren't independently wealthy, we don't have a money tree in the backyard, our parents aren't sitting on stacks of money, and it is just not a reality for us right now. It is and has always been in God's hands, but unless He provides a miracle for us we just don't see this happening in the near future.
Kailie wrote this 3 years ago. Pay attention to her wisdom and happiness. She continues to be a very special little girl.
Wednesday, March 3, 2004 11:23 AM CST
Hello Everyone-
Friday went pretty good. I was really sore when I woke up and was pretty sore the rest of the day Friday, but I found out why. Bone barrow biopsies always hurt quite a bit. Spinals aren't that bad. My doctor did a bone marrow biopsy and tries to do a spinal, but couldn't because there was too much scar tissue. He tried twice, but both of the needles he used bent. When he drew out the done marrow he said that the color looked great!!!! I was, of course, happy to hear that. Who wouldn't be?
On Saturday night I went rollerblading, and afterwards I was so sore I didn't want to move. I took a shower and went strait to bed. I usually read a while before I go to bed, but not Saturday. There was also (in the morning) a team ride (for Tahoe) that Mom and Ian had to go to. After that they had lunch at the Daily Bread. Yum! That was pretty good. I like it better than Bread CO.
Sunday was a normal day. One of Ian's friends came over, and Jaren and I were bounced sky high (not exactly) by them. One at a time. Jaren and I would bonk heads!
Monday was beautiful so we got schoolwork done quickly so we could play outside. Today, in my case, it's get done with school early so I can finish watching a movie with Ian and read books. I will probably read two. I love to read. Some of you probably know that. I also like to draw and write stories, usually letters though. It gets annoying, stories, because I almost always get your story ideas at night and then you're supposed to have lights out so I can't write down my ideas. By morning, they're gone. I am not writing any right now. I just finished a big report for school and, I guess you could say, I am all writed out. I know I am supposed to write wrote, but it's more fun to put wrote. ~lol~ That what I am learning in English- the correct way to write verbs.
I have been a little bit sore since Friday, but it hasn't been nearly as bad. It hurts to take a left step.
Today in Reading, I read a cool poem. It's called, In the Carpenter Shop. I liked it a lot.
In the Carpenter Shop
Author Unknown
I wish I had been His apprentice,
To see Him each morning at seven,
As He tossed His gray tunic about Him,
The Master of earth and of Heaven.
When He lifted the lid of His workchest,
And opened His carpenter's kit,
And looked at His chisels and uagers,
And took the bright tools out of it;
When He gazed at the rising sun tinting,
The dew on the opening flowers,
And He smiled at the thought of His Father,
Whose love floods this fair world of ours;
When He fastened the apron about Him,
And put on His workingman's cap,
And grasped the smooth haft of His hammer
To give the bent woodwork a tap,
Saying, "Lad, let us finish the ox yoke;
The farmer must finish his crop.”
Oh, how I wish I had been His apprentice
And worked in the Nazareth shop.
But, still as of old we may serve Him,
For did not the Carpenter say,--
"Inasmuch…” as ye aid my littlest one,
Ye do it, my friend, for me.
I liked that poem a lot. I hope you enjoyed it as mush as I did. We are going to Kansas City this weekend. We're going to go see my grandparents. Since we're going this weekend and leaving Friday, I have to go to the doctor tomorrow and get IV-IG and Pantamadeem. I hate that stuff. It makes me feel sick for a couple of hours and then makes me super hungry. I think that's weird.
Well, I will update again soon!
"But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount upon wings as eagles, they shall run and not be weary, and they shall walk and not faint.” -Isaiah 40:31
"Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.”
-Psalm 119:105
"Thy Word is true from the beginning, and all of the righteous judgments endureth forever.” -Psalm 119: 160
"The Lord is my light and my salvation whom shall I fear? the Lord it the strength of my life, of whom shall I be afraid?” -Psalm 27:1
Down at the bottom of the page is link for the web site for Kailie's Krew. It is to keep you updated on how Ian and Mom's training is going. There is also a little place called Kailie's Korner and you will be hearing from me there. Kailieskrew.com is new. I hope that you enjoy it! Thank you for taking the time to visit my web page. (as well as Mom's and Ian's)
God Bless,
Kailie
Sunday, January 7, 2007 9:23 PM CST
The holidays are over. A third year without Kailie there to celebrate them with us. There is still much joy in our lives, but that joy is muted because our family is fractured.
We want to share another song with you by Mercy Me. This is from their 2006 CD Coming Up To Breathe.
Bring The Rain
I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain
I am Yours regardless of
The clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what's a little rain
So I pray
Holy, holy, holy
Thank you Jesus for healing our precious little girl and for giving us the promise that we will see her again some day.
We miss you so much Kailie, our love for you will continue throughout all eternity.
Love 4 Ever,
Mommy & Daddy
Tuesday, December 12, 2006 1:21 PM CST
We want to share a story with you that Cindy, one of Kailie's friends, recently wrote for a college scholarship application. She gave us permission to put it on the website.
Cindy, we want you to know that God is glorified in your story. You are keeping Kailie's memory alive by sharing her story with others so that they can also see God's glory. Thank you for sharing it with us so that we could share it with others. We love you, girl!
Here is Cindy's story:
There is a girl that I know that would have celebrated her fifteenth birthday this last July, but her life was cut short by the awful disease of Leukemia. I will never forget the way she used to smile at me when I would go and visit her in the hospital, as I will never forget how helpless she looked as she lay dying in her hospital bed. The whole time she was sick wasn’t awful. She went through days when she was sick, and days when she felt fine. She was even in remission at one point when there was no Leukemia at all in her blood.
Kailie was diagnosed with Leukemia in 2000. She was a cheerleader for her older brother Ian’s football team. The morning after one of his games she noticed many bruises on her legsand her parents became suspicious. They took her to the doctor and ended up at the hospital where they later learned the news that would forever change many people’s lives.
I remember hearing about it the night they found out. I was thirteen at the time. I was watching Stepmom with my family and my mom got a call. She went into her room and talked in hushed tones for well over an hour. When she finally emerged the movie had just finished. Mom told me that she had something to tell me and proceeded to tell me what she knew about Kailie. I remember asking then if Kailie was going to die. I didn’t want her to, but everyone I had ever known with cancer had all died and it seemed inevitable. My parents comforted me and told me that everything would be okay. They said that we could go and visit her the next day after church. Although my parents had attempted to comfort me, I still cried myself to sleep that night.
The next day we went to visit Kailie in the hospital, as did many other people. I expected her to look really sick and be lying in a bed, but she seemed cheerful almost as if nothing was really wrong. She seemed to know where everything was in the hospital and she knew all the nurses on the floor. I decided that she would be okay and that she was going to make it.
For the next several months things seemed to go fairly smoothly. She had her good days and her bad days. During those months she lost her hair. She had a collection of hats bigger than any guy I knew. Even though her entire world seemed to be crashing in around her, she always kept her spirits high and she always kept her faith in God. She was one of the strongest Christians I have ever known. Despite all of her pain she never questioned God. Her life was such a witness that even people who didn’t know her knew what she stood for and wanted to get in on the gift God gave her.
For the next few years she seemed to cope with the disease and it looked like she would eventually be cured. For a time, she was even in remission. Then On June 11, 2004 she was diagnosed with HLH, a blood disorder that is not cancer, but is treated the same way. A few days later on June 14, 2004 I got the news that she had indeed relapsed.
I remember exactly what I was doing. I was at Super Summer (a Church camp) and her brother Ian was with us. When we left for this camp we all knew Kailie had HLH, but while we were there her brother got a call that her Leukemia was back as well. This devastated me. I couldn’t imagine what it must feel like to be “home free” and “cancer free” then all of the sudden have it back again. I couldn’t believe it. I went numb. On the way back from the camp on Friday we stopped and bought her this little wooden box with horses on it and a few candy canes, then we all wrote notes and put them in the box. We stopped at the hospital and took it to her. This time being at the hospital was a little different. I expected her to be up and around like the other times I had seen her, but she was lying in her bed. She looked sick and was very weak. Her spirits however were still high and she still had her sense of humor. This day would be the last time I would see Kailie awake.
On the 20th of June, Kailie was put on a ventilator. She had been having trouble breathing and then had a seizure. The doctors thought it would be better to put her into a drug induced coma. They thought that after a few weeks, when her blood counts raised, that she would be able to come out of the drig induced coma. They were wrong. Kailie never saw anyone again.
I visited her a few times while she was in a coma and every time left feeling helpless. She had been such a lively person. And at the age of 15, I couldn’t understand why this was happening to her; but she had always said that if it was God’s will, then it would happen.
The week before she died, I went to visit her early in the week. When I got there I had to scrub down and I couldn’t touch anything. I walked into her room and her mom told me that if I would talk to her she had been moving her eyes (under her eyelids) in recognition. Sure enough, when I said hi she moved her eyes, she had begun to come out of a coma. I was thrilled it seemed that things might be getting better and that she might be headed for recovery. Nobody expected the event of the following weekend to take place.
On Friday I was scheduled to go to a church conference. When we all met at my church we were told that Kailie had very little brain activity and that it was very likely she wouldn’t make it. At first I didn’t want to believe it. We all decided to head out to the conference since. It was relatively close to the hospital where Kailie was and we could easily get to the hospital if we wanted to. At shortly after nine, my youth pastor came and told us to go sit outside in the lobby, he had something he wanted to tell us. That’s when I began to fear the worst. We walked out and he told us that Kailie had been on life support and her parents had decided it was time to take her off. Kailie was dying. Tears began to stream down my cheeks as I remembered everything we had done together and all the times we had talked about anything and everything. Even though she was three years younger than me, she never seemed that young. I began to cry and shake and when my pastor asked if we wanted to go to the hospital, it was a unanimous YES. Within twenty minutes we were at the hospital; this time washing our hands wasn’t as necessary, although we all still did it. Then we went to her room.
I walked into her room with one of my friends, Alicia, and Kailie’s mom. We stood by her and talked to her and told her that we loved her and that we were praying for her. In the back of our minds we knew what would happen but we still kept up hope for a miracle. As we stood there, all three of us in tears holding each other, some of the nurses came into the room to make some footprints and handprints as a keepsake for her family. This I will never forget, as they attempted to get a hand print it took three nurses to make it work. She was so limp that they had to hold each of her fingers apart in order to get a good print. As I watched them, I began to cry more. I couldn’t believe this was the end.
The following morning they took Kailie off of life support and she remained alive until early Sunday morning. She died on August 15, 2004 at just after seven in the morning.
Kailie truly changed my life. Not only did she show me how to trust God in everything, but she also showed me that no matter what, God always has a plan for my life. She was always happy; she never was negative even when she was in pain. Her life was a true witness of what I would like to be and she left a legacy for many people to follow. There were hundreds of people at her funeral and instead of being sad (although it was) it was a celebration of her life that had been cut short by terrible disease.
As Kailie’s parents, this story is a gift to us. As we approach the holiday season, which is very difficult for us as a family, it is gifts like this story that brings us true comfort and joy. This story tells Kailie’s story and about how she trusted Jesus with all of her heart and it brings glory to God. So, Cindy, thanks for the amazing gift you have given us! It’s eternal!
It is easy to get caught up in the “gift” part of Christmas. It is our prayer that in all of the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, that you will remember that it isn’t about the presents, it’s about Jesus Christ, his birth, and why He came. This is so much more important than things under the tree!
Matthew 6:19-21
Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
Merry Christmas!!
John & Johnelle
PS. Check out the picture page for a picture of Kailie and Cindy and Kailie Christmas pictures!
Thursday, November 2, 2006 2:18 PM CST
2 Peter 3:8 We love you little pumpkinseed,
But do not overlook this one fact, beloved, that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day.
Micah 2:13
He who opens the breach goes up before them;
they break through and pass the gate,
going out by it.
Their king passes on before them,
the Lord at their head.
The following song has been performed my many artists, but one our favorites is an awesome band named Tree63
Blessed Be Your Name
Blessed be Your name
In the land that is plentiful
Where your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be your name
Blessed be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name
Every blessing you pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in
Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name
Every blessing you pour out I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in
Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord Blessed be your name
This song articulates what our family is doing as we wait until the day Jesus calls each one of us home to be with Him and be reunited with our precious Kailie. The pain is horrible as we wait here on earth; knowing that the decision for us to die is up to the Lord and not ours. Jesus has a purpose in leaving us behind with many wonderful memories of our little girl. He healed Kailie in a manner which was easiest for her, yet it was the hardest for us.
Kailie was diagnosed 6 years ago today. Each time this horrible "anniversary" would come around we would be so thankful that God had given us one more year with her. Since she passed away, we are thankful for what we did have and for the fact that she is now with Jesus, finally free from all the encumbering affects of sin in this world. Although we are very sorrowful beyond description, and we hurt to the point that we can't articulate it, and sit here crying with tears streaming down; We know that our precious little girl is with her Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and that there will be a day when Jesus decides it is time for each of our family members to be face to face with Jesus and be reunited with Kailie.
Often when we cry we are thinking about what she must be doing in heaven, how awesome it must be to be praising at the feet of our Lord Jesus Christ. There are not words to describe how much we miss her. She was so important to each member of our family, and to so many of you as well. We miss every single aspect of her life here on earth. The pain is so great.
It’s not hard to give God the glory for what he has done and for what he will continue to do through Kailie's testimony for Jesus. As Christians we don't understand how these things can happen. However, all of us are affected by the curse of sin; even the most innocent of all...our children.
As you think of Kailie today...
think about what choices she would have made if she were here.
think about her faith and what we can still learn from her example.
remember her beautiful smile and think about the source of her joy...Jesus.
She was a gift from God and we are so thankful that He shared her with us for 13 wonderful years!
Mommy, Daddy, Ian, Jaren & Liza 4-ever
xoxo
Thursday, October 19, 2006 3:55 PM CDT
Many of you have inquired about our mentioning adoption. Okay, here it is...we are pursuing the idea of adoption. We really feel like God is laying it on our hearts. Many of you know that we went on a mission trip to Guatemala in July. It was amazing. God taught us so much on our trip. One of the things that hit us both very hard was the fact that we have so much and there are others that have so little. God just really showed us this by taking us into the poverty stricken places and seeing people still happy and content with what they have. We really felt him asking us what we could give up to further HIS kingdom. Then He showed us. On our trip, we were able to go visit a government run orphanage. There are so many kids in this world that don’t have homes and will never be able to hear of the love of Jesus. With this on our hearts, we met one last time on the basketball court (this was a nightly event with our team to discuss the day's events). Our pastor began to share the following story:
The story of the starfish
Once upon a time there was a wise man
who used to go to the ocean
to do his writing.
He had a habit of walking
on the beach
before he began his work.
One day he was walking along
the shore.
As he looked down the beach,
he saw a human
figure moving like a dancer.
He smiled to himself to think
of someone who would
dance to the day.
So he began to walk faster
to catch up.
As he got closer, he saw
that it was a young man
and the young man wasn't dancing,
but instead he was reaching
down to the shore,
picking up something
and very gently throwing it
into the ocean.
As he got closer he called out,
"Good morning! What are you doing?"
The young man paused,
looked up and replied,
"Throwing starfish in the ocean."
"I guess I should have asked,
why are you throwing starfish
in the ocean?"
"The sun is up and the tide is going out.
And if I don't throw them in they'll die."
"But, young man, don't you realize that
there are miles and miles of beach
and starfish all along it.
You can't possibly make a difference!"
The young man listened politely.
Then bent down, picked up another starfish
and threw it into the sea,
past the breaking waves and said-
"It made a difference for that one."
That is when we knew that this was what He was calling us to.
There was talk of this when our friends found out we were going to Guatemala on a mission trip. We were teased by many that we would come back with a couple of kids. We have heard many after our return say “we knew that would happen.”
Since losing Kailie, there is an extreme emptiness. Many of you know what that feels like. We have the boys and they are our life. Nothing could ever replace Kailie, but we feel we have a lot of love left to give and enough room in our hearts to allow God to use us to give life to a little one (or maybe two…whatever HIS plan is).
Upon returning home, we began researching the idea. God has placed so many wonderful people in our lives to walk this path with us. Thank you to the Livingstone’s, Temm’s, Pruitt’s, McClanahan’s, and a few others for sharing your stories with us about your precious Pete, Gabby, Mya, Eden, and Saffron. God also keeps bringing random people in and out of our lives that have a Guatemala adoption story.
We are finding out that adoption is very expensive. This adoption (for one child) will cost somewhere around $30,000. We knew that it would take some sacrificing on our part. We are working on removing some things from our budget. We currently have two of our cars for sale. If you know anyone who is in the market for a 2005 Dodge Durango or a 2005 Honda CR-V. Please send them our way!
We went to an adoption financing seminar last night and that was very informative and showed us what our options are. If we could sell our cars, we could start the process. We are just waiting on God. His timing is perfect.
We know how excited Kailie would be if she were here. She would be totally on board. She probably IS on board. She and God probably have a little one picked out and just waiting on all of the details to send it on its way to us!
Please pray for us about this. Pray that we will be patient and wait on God’s timing. Pray that we can come up with the money to do this. We know that if this is God’s plan for us, HE will provide.
Please continue to pray for Matt Pearl. He is struggling on his journey. Please visit their website at alexandmatt.com and continue praying for this amazing family. We know they are exhausted right now. This is a verse that Dr. Rob shared with us while Kailie was in the hospital:
2 Corinthians 12:9-10~
And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.
Mark, Di and family…Praying that your strength and that the power of Christ may rest upon you!
Love to all,
John and Johnelle
PS. Check out the picture page for Guatemala pictures!
Friday, September 29, 2006 11:18 AM CDT
URGENT PRAYER REQUEST!!
Please go to alexandmatt.com! The Pearls need an abundance of prayers right now. Matt is struggling and they could really use your encouragement right now. Please pray for peace, comfort, rest, and lots of strength for this family, but most of all...healing for Matt.
Kailie wrote this on March 9, 2004. There was an art exhibition at the Cancer Center at St. John's and some of the kids in the doctor's office had painted some pictures and were going to be displayed. Kailie's was one of them. She painted a beautiful picture of the stages of a butterfly.
It is amazing to think about the wisdom and insight God gave to her. We are so thankful God gave us such a creative and precious little girl.
Name: Kailie Rhines
Age: 12
Title: A New Beginning
2 Corinthians 5:17 says, "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: the old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new." On the bottom left of this drawing the caterpillar is hatching from its egg. He symbolizes summer. The caterpillar's next stage is larva: the caterpillars' larva stage symbolizes autumn. On the top left the caterpillar is going through his pupa stage. That stage symbolizes winter. The last, and most important stage, the top right is the adult stage: symbolizing spring. When the caterpillar is all grown up, it starts new.
When we except Jesus as our Savior, we start new. We are cleansed from our sins. The butterfly also symbolizes winning the good fight. When we go through trials and hard times, we have to learn to rely on God. He is the one who gives us strength to carry on.
When the butterfly comes out of its chrysalis, it has a new beginning. Those who are going through chemotherapy, when they finish, they start new. They are all done with the horrible medicine that makes you better, and your body restores itself.
All throughout treatment I had to remember that all through the trials that I went through, that God was molding me to be more like him. He was in control and that helped me win my fight.
There will be five years before I am considered 100% cured. In the meantime, I am going to trust God to take care of me. Whatever His plan is, is alright with me.
We love you Kailie,
Mommy & Daddy 4-ever
xoxo
If a 12 year-old girl can be secure in how Jesus would take care of her, how about you? Do you have that security? If not, please contact us so we can help you understand how you can have the same peace as Kailie did. She didn't die in vain. God is using her example to reach many, many people with the gospel of Jesus Christ and to demonstrate how faithful God really is.
Wednesday, September 20, 2006 1:15 PM CDT
Kailie wrote this on March 9, 2004. There was an art exhibition at the Cancer Center at St. John's and some of the kids in the doctor's office had painted some pictures and were going to be displayed. Kailie's was one of them. She painted a beautiful picture of the stages of a butterfly.
It is amazing to think about the wisdom and insight God gave to her. We are so thankful God gave us such a creative and precious little girl.
Name: Kailie Rhines
Age: 12
Title: A New Beginning
2 Corinthians 5:17 says, "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: the old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new." On the bottom left of this drawing the caterpillar is hatching from its egg. He symbolizes summer. The caterpillar's next stage is larva: the caterpillars' larva stage symbolizes autumn. On the top left the caterpillar is going through his pupa stage. That stage symbolizes winter. The last, and most important stage, the top right is the adult stage: symbolizing spring. When the caterpillar is all grown up, it starts new.
When we except Jesus as our Savior, we start new. We are cleansed from our sins. The butterfly also symbolizes winning the good fight. When we go through trials and hard times, we have to learn to rely on God. He is the one who gives us strength to carry on.
When the butterfly comes out of its chrysalis, it has a new beginning. Those who are going through chemotherapy, when they finish, they start new. They are all done with the horrible medicine that makes you better, and your body restores itself.
All throughout treatment I had to remember that all through the trials that I went through, that God was molding me to be more like him. He was in control and that helped me win my fight.
There will be five years before I am considered 100% cured. In the meantime, I am going to trust God to take care of me. Whatever His plan is, is alright with me.
We love you Kailie,
Mommy & Daddy 4-ever
xoxo
If a 12 year-old girl can be secure in how Jesus would take care of her, how about you? Do you have that security? If not, please contact us so we can help you understand how you can have the same peace as Kailie did. She didn't die in vain. God is using her example to reach many, many people with the gospel of Jesus Christ and to demonstrate how faithful God really is.
Wednesday, August 9, 2006 1:21 PM CDT
Kailie,
It is impossible to believe that it has been 2 very long years since you went to be with Jesus. The pain that we feel in our hearts hasn't subsided at all. The frequency of the tears may be farther apart than before, but the horrible pain of losing you is as fresh as ever. There isn't a moment during the day when we aren't thinking about you. My heart breaks when I think about what you had to go through the last two months you were alive. When you went to be with Jesus, many hopes and dreams went too. We longed for the day when you would go on your first date. We were looking towards your next milestone of graduating high school, and then attending college. We often thought about how you would be one of the greatest moms of all time. You would have had so much fun being a mom. Your creativity, love of God's word, humor and tender love for others would have made you a mom any kid would love to have called their own. When you were in Cardinal Glennon and on a ventilator we still thought these dreams might come true. It might take you a little longer than you wanted or planned, but you would do it. We told you when you had your spleen taken out on Thursday, August 12, 2004 we were so optimistic that you were going to recover. We were under so much stress during that time. You showed some improvement during the day. Friends of Kids gave us some tickets to the Rams game that night. During the third quarter we received a phone call from the hospital and they told us to come back right away. We learned that night that you probably had irreversible brain damage and that you would probably not recover. Friday morning they performed a brain scan and we were told that your brain stem had swelled and that recovery wasn't possible. We called our family and friends so they could come and tell you goodbye one last time. For many people that is the last time they saw you.
We are jealous of families who are intact. It has been 2 painful years but vivid memories of seeing you in the PICU at Cardinal Glennon still linger in our minds. When we look at others around us we can't help but notice how they have moved on in their lives. Maybe people just can't handle grieving for that long.
We didn't move on Kailie. How could we? We had to begin a new life as a fractured family who was forced to face life without your sweet presence in our lives.
We miss you so much Kailie. There just aren't words that can describe how empty our lives are without you.
We would give anything to have you grip our finger to let us know you are there.
We long to hold you again.
We long to look into your tender and trusting eyes
We long to tell you that we love you
We long to hear your tender voice
We long to hear your infectious laugh
We long to have fun with you again.
If we only had one more day with you we would spend every moment dreading the next because a new day would eventually begin, and that would mean our dreams were over.
We miss you sweet girl. We love you so very much. We wish the pain would get better, but that will only come when we are ultimately reunited with you for all of eternity.
Thank you for being the most precious daughter a mommy and daddy could have ever dreamed of.
What would you think about us adopting a little sister from Guatemala for Ian and Jaren?
Saturday, July 1, 2006 11:57 PM CDT
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KAILIE!!
We love and miss you, sweet girl!
Love,
Mom, Dad, Ian, Jaren, Liza and Mandy
(we will write more soon!!)
Wednesday, June 7, 2006 1:30 PM CDT
07 June 2006
Hi everybody,
Well, all 22 krewmates finished the century ride in Tahoe this past weekend!
Kailie, Ms. Alison and mommy rode this year for you and Alexandria. Mr. Grant was going to go, but his stepfather got sick and no one was available to watch their kids. It was a good trip, but was certainly not the same without you being there with us.
Two years ago today things started going bad for her. The ride was on Sunday, June 6, 2004 and she looked great until we took her temperature halfway through the ride. The picture of her on the front page of the website was taken during the ride and it's hard to believe, but she had a temperature of 104.5. She was smiling, but she didn't feel good at all. Of course, that didn't matter…she was always smiling. We left Tahoe for St. Louis on Monday, June 7, 2004; which just happened to be her daddy's 36th birthday. That was another horrible day. We were looking for a power converter for the ride home for the TV, PS2, etc. We had borrowed one from the Kempland’s and it kind of died. So we went to Wal-Mart and Best Buy trying to find one that was the best value for the money. Well, we ended up getting into an accident in the Best Buy parking lot. Kailie was sleeping when it happened and she was startled awake and started crying. Of course, her Daddy was already frustrated because we all wanted to be home, and we had a 30 hour drive ahead of us. Kailie was sick, Johnelle was tired because of the ride, Jaren was getting cagey and it was just a really bad day. Why does money get in the way of so many things? We couldn't afford to fly, so we had to drive. We shouldn't have driven because Kailie was so sick. She needed to be on a flight home that day and get to a hospital where she knew the nurses and had her doctors taking care of her. The drive back to St. Louis from Lake Tahoe was the longest drive of our lives. We don't ever plan on driving out there again. There is just too much time to reflect on how much pain we've been through in the last two years. We love you Kailie. If there was any birthday present in the world your Daddy could ask for, it would be to have just one more day with you. The smallest details about you are the ones we miss the most. We want to hold you Precious and look into your eyes again and tell you how much we love you.
It has been awhile since we updated the site. It is becoming very difficult to put updates on the site. We still can't believe it has been almost two years since she passed away. Tahoe holds so many special memories for us. It is the last place we were together as a family that we have to look back on as happy times. Yes, we still have happy times but they are just not the same. If there are people out there who are thinking "Come on already, it's been two years" they obviously haven't lost a child. It hurts so badly. We continue living, but part of us died two years ago and that's just the way it is. As people we want to fix things, but there are some things that just cannot be fixed.
Three years ago today, Jacob Mosley passed away. He would have turned 10 on June 5. We love you Jacob. We are thankful that you, Kailie and the many others are not suffering any longer. It hurts us deeply, but it is more important that you guys are finally healed.
We have so many questions that have no answers. Why are so many children dying from cancer? Why does it have to be this way? There is so much sadness when a child dies and there isn't a way to explain any of it. Yes, we trust and believe that God is sovereign. But that doesn’t mean that we don’t hurt. We can’t help it, God made us to feel love for our children and to care for them our entire lives.
We miss taking care of you little pumpkinseed. We love you with all our hearts. You are such a treasure to us. You will live in our hearts forever, and we can't wait until Jesus calls us home to be with him and be reunited with you and many of your friends.
With all our love,
Mommy & Daddy
Monday, May 1, 2006 8:36 AM CDT
A BIG thanks to all who came out and walked with "Kailie's Krew" for the 2006 Friends of Kids with Cancer "Walk with a Friend." It means so much to us that we still receive so much support from everyone. Kailie would have loved it. We are sure she was smiling! God has blessed us so much! Check out the picture page for pictures of the walk.
Congratulations to James Williams for getting 2nd place in his age division (we won't disclose that info!!) for the 5K, while proudly wearing his Kailie's Krew jersey. Go James!!
We hope to break all team records next year, so mark your calendars for next spring! We'll get a date out when we have more information.
Thanks to all...you guys are awesome!!
Love,
John and Johnelle
Tuesday, April 18, 2006 11:11 AM CDT
Come Join Kailie’s Krew As we Walk with a Friend In memory of Kailie Saturday, April 22 Please join us for the Friends of Kids with Cancer 2006 “Walk with a Friend.” It is being held at Westport Plaza on Saturday, April 22. Registration begins at 7:00am. You can either walk with us or run the 5K. The run begins at 8:00am and the walk begins after that. Registration is $20 which includes a t-shirt, water bottle, and a chance to help some very special kids. You can print the registration form from the picture page of this website or you can go to friendsofkids.com and register there. Friends of Kids with Cancer is a local charity that is devoted to enriching the daily lives of children who have cancer by providing recreational, educational, and emotional support during their illness. Friends of Kids with Cancer was very important to Kailie. This is a little something that she had written about them: “Friends of Kids With Cancer has helped me throughout treatment in a lot of ways. They helped me focus on the good things, not the bad. They gave me something to look forward to like the Big Shelf, trips to the zoo, and gift certificates! They made the doctor’s office a fun place to be when that was the only place I could go. They gave me some good memories to carry with me all throughout my life.” - Kailie Rhines We hope you can come out and help us support Friends of Kids with Cancer. Thanks so much to all of you! John & Johnelle
Friday, March 31, 2006 4:57 PM CST
It has been 593 days since we last saw our precious little girl alive. Our hearts have been hurting and broken ever since. We have a difficult time understanding why there has to be so much pain. Our lives are centered on Jesus, but second to that the 5 of us depend on one another for so much. Kailie was a vital part of our family, just like Ian and Jaren are, and now she is gone.
Johnelle has begun to redecorate Kailie's room to be like her and Kailie wanted it to be. For the first time since Kailie last slept in her bed on Wednesday, June 2, 2004 Johnelle changed the sheets on Kailie's bed. It was just another remind that our precious isn't here anymore. Johnelle is beginning the task of putting all of Kailie's things into large plastic storage containers in order to keep them clean while Kailie's room is redone. Her closet is absolutely full of things, and it all has to be removed to repair some shelving in there. Kailie was an absolute pack rat and kept everything. We eventually want to be able to go into Kailie's room and sit down and read or just to be alone. We won't be using Kailie's room for anybody to sleep in; it will be just for our family to use. Kailie was 12 when she last used her room and Johnelle is going to make it look just like Kailie wanted. She was 13 when she went to be with Jesus, but she will forever be 12 at her house. It is very painful to remember that she never had a chance to be excited about becoming a teenager. She was too worried about whether or not she was going to live. The horrible day of June 21, 2004 will forever be etched in our minds when Kailie sat up, gave Johnelle a hug and spoke her last words..."I love you Mommy". At that point she had a seizure, stopped breathing, was rushed down for an emergency CT and was put on a ventilator as soon as she returned to her room. The doctors couldn't explain why she had a seizure; they could only attribute it to the HLH. Less than a month later on July 15, 2004 she had to be taken to Cardinal Glennon because she "had significant changes to the white matter and ventricles in her brain" and that is the hospital we had chosen for her to be when she had her bone marrow transplant.
It is inconceivable that a monster was raging inside of her fragile body and nobody knew. Yes her counts were low, but that was supposed to be related to the devastating effects of the chemotherapy. It happens to some kids and not others. Some people look at childhood cancer as a numbers and percentage thing. It must make things more sterile to look at it that way. By the way, we would like to meet the children who are a part of the 75 percent survival rate of childhood leukemias. We haven't seen 75 percent, not even close.
What happens when your child is diagnosed with cancer? Do they become a percentage? What happens when your child experiences side affects that catch doctors by surprise? How do you respond when doctors aren't sure what to do? What good is medicine anyway? What happens when your child goes through hell for three and a half years and acquires something even more horrific than cancer itself? What happens when you have fought with all of your might to keep your family together and in a single moment that is torn from your hands? What happens when the hope of your child experiencing another day alive is taken away from you? What do you do? How is a family supposed to respond? How would you respond?
We don't really have the answers to these questions. We never thought any of this would happen to our family, and never dreamed Kailie would ever endure so much pain in three and one half years.
The sorrow and pain are indescribable and unimaginable at the same time.
We have lived our lives openly acknowledging that God is in charge of every single aspect of our lives and that he is sovereign and above all things. We chose to glorify Jesus when Kailie was initially diagnosed, and we chose to give Him the glory when Kailie received her ultimate prize and went to heaven to be with her Savior for all eternity. It is not an easy thing to thank God for healing your child by taking them to heaven. We are separated from Kailie until we meet her in paradise. It is hard but we have to be content and secure in the knowledge that Kailie is with Jesus.
Psalm 146:1-2
1. Praise ye the LORD. Praise the LORD, O my soul.
2. While I live will I praise the LORD: I will sing praises unto my God while I have any being.
We thank each of you for your continued prayers on our behalf and the many other families who have lost children as well.
We love you Kailie,
Your mommy & daddy forever
Monday, March 6, 2006 8:53 AM CST
THANK YOU!!
Thanks to all of you who came out to UNO last night in support of the Kares 4 Kailie Foundation. It was a great turnout…lots of fun, too! Check out the picture page for shots taken throughout the night.
We appreciate your never-ending support in helping us "kare" for kids with cancer and their families!
John & Johnelle
Wednesday, February 22, 2006 1:46 PM CST
Kares 4 Kailie Fundraiser
At
UNO Chicago Grill
40 and Olive
Chesterfield, Missouri
Please join us for a fundraiser at UNO Chicago Grill on Thursday, March 2, 2006…all day!
Silent Auction!! 50/50 Raffle
See the "view photos" page of the website for the fundraiser flyer. You can cut, paste, and print the flyer. You must present the flyer for the foundation to receive their percentage...
15 pct. up to $1,000 and 20 pct. above that. Please join us and help us "kare" for kids with cancer and their families!!
Thanks so much!
Hope to see you there!!
John & Johnelle
Tuesday, February 14, 2006 5:48 PM CST
Since it is Valentine’s Day, we thought we would share about a love we are very grateful for. It’s the unconditional, never ending love of God. It’s the amazing way he loves us, even though we aren’t perfect and we mess up.
He loved us enough to send His Son to die on the cross for our sins.
Romans 5:8 says “But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”
We have the opportunity to become His child.
Galatians 3:26 says “For ye are all the children of God by faith in Christ Jesus.
This is how awesome God’s love is for us:
Romans 8:38-39 says “For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
We want to share with you the words of a song by Casting Crowns. It says it all…
Who Am I
Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart
Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You're
Chorus:
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours
Who Am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
Who Am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me
Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You're
Chorus:
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours
We miss Kailie so much today and every day. John misses buying his little girl purple flowers and Johnelle misses sharing the pink and purple sweettarts with her. Happy Valentine's Day in Heaven, sweet girl!
Please pray for our friends, Grant, Alison, Hunter, Hayden, and Addison Haddock. It will be three years Thursday that their precious “sissy” went to Heaven. It doesn’t get any easier, just different.
Happy Valentine’s Day to you all!
John & Johnelle
P.S. Check out our pictures of our special Valentine!
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