Click here to go back to the main page.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007 8:17 AM CDT

Hello all,

Well it saddens me that spam has ended up on Zach's guestbook. I haven't been on in a long time and when I pulled it up I was so devastated. How can this happen? I am not sure how to get it off so if anyone knows how please let me know...........

4 Years! 4 long years! It is so hard to believe that it has been that long but yet it feels like an eternity at the same time. This month has been really hard. It always is when the 14th of September is near. That was the worst day of our lives. Sitting there on Zach's bed, holding him, while he struggled to breathe. I remember it as if it happened an hour ago. I remember trying to breathe for him, but that didn't help. I didn't want to let go. I wasn't ready to give him back to God. He wasn't with us long enough. 9 years is not long enough!!!! He still had so much he wanted to do. He wanted to be a Bulldog, drive a car, and just be a kid. It is so hard now when we see his friends and even his cousin and best buddy Andrew. Zach would be almost 14. We cannot imagine him in this way. I still see my nine year old baby boy that still liked to cuddle with his mom and dad. I can't picture him having girlfriends, going to parties, getting ready to drive, being almost as tall as me. I can't picture him in Junior High. Can you? I still see him playing with Spiderman figures and dinosaurs and kicking butt on the soccer field, baseball field, and of course the basketball court. I wish he were here today and everyday. I would love to see him with his niece Zachasya. He would love her so much and always want to be with her. She is truly a gift from Zach. He knew that Mom couldn't have babies. He also knew that having a baby around would help pull us out of our shell. He was so right. Zachasya looks like Zachary but in a girl way. I can remember how much Zachary looked like Samantha and when they were smaller she would dress him up like a girl in a dress, makeup, and a headband and he looked like her! She would make him and Anthony get up on the coffee table and dance together like boyfriend and girlfriend to Selena. It was so funny. We started calling him Zacharina. Zachasya is so funny and loveable just like he was. She loves to cuddle with her Nani and Papa D and loves making us laugh. She is a year old now and such a blessing to our family. Anthony loves her to pieces and her him. She is starting to walk a little but I think she enjoys being carried not to mention she crawls faster than any baby I have ever known and therefore gets where she needs to get quicker than walking! She is such a hoot! I couldn't imagine life without her.

Samantha graduated in May. Praise God!! I accomplished something as a parent!!! We are so proud of her. She is now trying to find herself and hopefully she will soon. I really didn't know she was lost???? LOL! Anthony is doing great! He has moved up in levels to the highest point and is doing great in school. Hopefully when he turns 17 they'll put him in a step-down program where he can work and go to college. We are really proud of him. He has come a long way in his grief and anger management and all other areas of concern.

As for Dimas and I, we take each day one at a time. We miss our Zach and our hearts ache for him every second of everyday. We miss Anthony terribly but We are able to sleep at night knowing where he is and that he is safe. We also miss Samantha but as scheduled in a child's life she is out of school and is now an adult. We just hope the best for her and that she will accomplish all that she has ever dreamed about. Dimas is always working and I am busy with school and taking care of Zachasya full time. I really enjoy having her here to keep my spirits up and to give me a reason to get out of bed each day. Without her I don't think I could. Without Zachasya our house would be so quiet and lonely. She has brought love and happiness back to the Herrera home.

Unfortunately there is still no cure for Zach's tumor, Pontine Glioma. There are so many children dying from this beast that we really need to raise awareness so that a cure can be found. Please pray for that cure and for the many children suffering from all types of cancer. Also pray for the caregivers and the parents who have lost their child to this devastating disease.

God Bless each of you and thank you for continuing to pray for our family and for always remembering our sweet angel Zach.

Love and many prayers,
Misti

The sky is filled with Angels
With puffy lacy wings
The remnants of God's beauty
With treasures they now bring

Each one of them a Guardian
That travels in the sky
To watch throughout eternity
Their parents from on high

Smiles that come from Angels
They fall like crystal rain
Eases earthly burdens
Lifting all life's pain

Halos so astounding
That glitter gold each day
Following their loved ones
In such a perfect way

Wings in gentle breezes
That fall from up above
Kissing every parent
With everlasting love

Angels soar through heaven
With everlasting light
Looking down from heaven
Saying their "goodnights"

Kissing all who loved them
So gently on the face
This life's tender mercy
Each parent can embrace

Wings and shiny halos
Travel from on high
Surrounding all their loved ones
They never say good-bye.

~ Francine Pucillo ~

Wednesday, February 14, 2007 0:53 AM CST

Happy Valentine's Day everyone! I hope you all have a very romantic evening planned with your honey. I do, homework, homework, and more homework. I am really stressing with school right now. I have taken on a bit more than I can chew especially since I keep my grandbaby, Zachasya, everyday, all day, while Sam goes to school during the day and night. She is scheduled to graduate May 24, 2007 and we are so excited. She is the only one of my children we will get to see walk across the stage and receive a high school diploma. That is very hard for me to handle. It hurts so much having Anthony locked up and Zachary in Heaven. I miss my boys so much. I am just thankful that Anthony is safe, and I know exactly where he is at, is being fed, and is going to school; where as before he would have been at his friends house all the time getting into some kind of trouble. He has really grown up over the past 5 or 6 months. Sam is working hard everyday to keep her grades up and Dimas is always working.

We all miss Zach more and more with each passing day. Zach, we love you sweet boy and can't wait till our big reunion in the sky. What a grand and glorious day that will be.

Love and hugs to all,
Misti

Thursday, October 26, 2006 10:03 PM CDT

Hello my friends and family. I know it has been a really long time since I have updated but so much has happened since my last post.

First of all, Zachasya Rae was born on August 23, 2006 at 7:36 pm. She was 7 lbs. 9 oz. and was 19 1/4 inches long. She had a full head of black hair like her momma and was just beautiful. Sam did great during labor and delivery. I was so proud of her.

Then tragedy struck again in our family. Anthony has been sentenced to a Juvenile Detention Center till he is 21, eligible for parole at 18. He has been really hurting and going down hill since we lost our precious Zach and now he is sitting in a jail cell missing out on his teenage years all because he was trying to protect his family. No, what he has done over the past several years is no excuse but we have been asking for help and no one would listen. I can't elaborate on what Anthony did but please pray for him, that he'll get out when he is 18 and that he gets the help he needs.

Dimas and I are lost and very lonely in this house with no children. Our children are our lives and now they are all gone. We just hope and pray that Samantha will come to her senses and come home. She is not in a good situation where she is at and needs to get that baby out of there. Please pray for her as well and our precious Zachasya.

I am off to see Anthony tomorrow so please pray for a safe trip for my Dad, Step-Mom, Carissa, myself and possibly our sweet baby girl, Zachasya. We get to see him once a week and only talk to him once a week now that he is being moved out of Lovington. While in Lovington, we were able to see him on Fridays and Saturdays for 30 minutes each day (sometimes an hour) and talk to him everyday. This is going to be so hard not hearing his voice every single day.

Please pray for all the families battling cancer and pray for the ones who have lost a loved one to this beast.

Dear sweet Zach,

Momma and Daddy miss you so very much. We feel like we can't properly grieve for you because of all the tragedy in our life. We still cry for you daily and think about you every second of the day. I pray, Zach, that you will be able to visit your sister and brother and help them through their troubles. Let them know you are still with them and that you always will be. Tell them, Mijo, that you are right there inside their heart. We are all so sad without you here. We find ourselves often wishing for just one more day, just one more day, dear son.

We love you baby boy!

Momma and Daddy

Sunday, August 6, 2006 6:04 PM CDT

Hello our dear friends and family.

I know I don't update as often as I should but it is really hard with school, remodeling, and Drivers Ed. Drivers Ed is now officially over and yes, my two hoodlums have permits. Scary thought isn't it? "PEOPLE STAY OFF THE HIGHWAYS!!!!" Not really, they both do really well. Sam is more cautious and Ant gets nervous driving with me in the car so he makes lots of mistakes but he did really well with the instructor. Maybe I nag too much. (Not Me!)

Summer is almost over for these guys. School starts the 14th although Sam will be on homebound the first 6 weeks or so due to having the baby.

She has started dilating and has lots and lots of contractions. We had a false alarm last Friday. It was good that we went in because she was dehydrated so they gave her IV fluids and sent her home and told her to walk, walk, and walk some more. I'm ready for Zachasya to be here but my living room needs to be finished first. We can't seem to get Dimas off the golf course. Imagine that! Her due date is officially August 21 but we don't think she'll make it till then but you never know with a first baby.

Dimas and I played in the Jack and Jill golf tournament a couple of weeks ago. This was my first golf tournament ever and I haven't played for very long. We won first place in our flight. It was amazing! I was so excited. I mean can you believe me a golfer? I really enjoy getting to hang out with Dimas more not to mention it gets me out of the house for a little while. I'm so sick of all the remodeling that I threatened to go to a hotel until it was done. Like that is going to happen!

My cousin Whitney had her baby. Zane Alexander Baize was born on July 28th. He was 9 lbs. 2 oz. and was 22 inches long. Big baby! He is so beautiful. Congratulations Whit! You did a great job!


Our dearest Zachary,
We miss you so much. Seeing Zane reminded me of when you were born, the big cheeks, soft skin, and the perfect hair. I so long to hold you in my arms and can't wait for that day to come. Sister is due any day and prays that the baby will look like you because she says you were the cutest baby ever. I would have to agree. We found out why you always called Bobby father in-law. Becca told Rosa the other day about her first kiss and it was you that gave it to her! You were such the ladies man. You always had girls swooning over you at such a young age. I often wonder what you would look like now, all grown up, becoming a teenager. I'm sure you would be tall, dark, and oh so handsome. Momma would have to fight the girls off! Zachary, we all love you so much and there isn't a day that goes by that you aren't in our thoughts or in every conversation. You will always be a huge part of our family and Zachasya will know who her Tio Zach is and will love you as we all do.

Loving you always Mijo,
Daddy, Momma, Sister, and Bubba

Please pray for those who are fighting this horrific monster called cancer and for those families who have already lost one of their own to this terrible beast.
Please pray for a cure!

Also, please pray for our family. We struggle each and everyday without our Zach. Our family just isn't complete without him and it is a hard reality to face each and every day.

Love to all,
Misti


Please check out the link below:
http://ladybugkatia.com/ISTILLDREAM/ISTILLDREAM.html

Friday, June 2, 2006 7:32 AM MTN

Good Morning everyone!

I know it has been a while but I was so busy with classes, finals, and getting the kids finished up too that I just haven't had much time.

Sam did really well this semester but still has to take 2 classes in summer school to get her caught up to be a senior at the start of the new school year. She has been working really hard and being pregnant I know it has been tough but we are so proud of her for sticking with it. Anthony will be taking summer school as well to pass him on to the 9th grade and then he is going to an alternative school in the fall. He will be doing most of his work at home (so I guess I will pretty much be home schooling him) and then every 10 days I will take him to House, New Mexico to turn everything in and he'll take tests over everything he has done. He can make up 2 years in 1 so he can get caught back up to where he is supposed to be if he pushes himself. Please pray that this is the answer we have been looking for. We have had such a hard time with him and school and we just want him to get through it and graduate. We worry about him so much.

Sam is now almost 7 months. Some friends of mine, Ann Shuman, Tam Bell, and Gaelyn Mann held a baby shower for her May 27th. Thank you ladies so much for everything you did. You guys are wonderful! She had a really good turn out and got so much stuff. The baby, Zachasya Rae, has officially taken over the Herrera household. Everywhere you look there is something baby. We are all getting excited. Her due date is August 22nd.

Papa D and I (Nani) are doing okay. He is really swamped at work and we are both trying to get things done around the house before the baby gets here. We have so much to do. But you know how it is when it is golf season. Too many tournaments and too many nice days (too nice to be inside working on the house). I also start back to school on the 5th so I'll be busy with that as well. I'm taking 3 classes this summer trying to get my basics out of the way. I'm taking all 3 online, Beginning Spanish, English 102, and New Mexico History. Yikes!!! I ended up with a 3.46 GPA last semester, 3 A's and 1 B, so I hope I do as well this semester.

Even though our lives are very busy we still grieve for our precious Zachary every single day. He was our baby boy and always will be. Dimas told me he is scared that everyone will try to replace Zach with the baby but I told him that could never happen. Zach was special, and there will never be another. Zachaysa will know her Tio Zach. We will tell her all about him and she'll know how much he would have loved her. Zach would be so excited right now. Sometimes I can see him sitting next to Sam rubbing her belly and talking to the baby. Oh how we miss him. I have been having a really hard time lately. I can feel a depression coming on. I can't sleep at night but during the day that is all I want to do, I have no motivation, and I cry all the time. I just miss him so much and I long to hold him. I often close my eyes and I can picture him in my arms and me kissing him all over his face. Here I go, getting all upset again. It is just so hard even after 2 1/2 years to live each day without our baby boy. He was so funny and loving. We all agree that he was the core of this family. He kept us all close. Without him it has been such a struggle but hopefully this baby will help us become a real family once again. There will always be that void, that emptiness, but this baby gives us all something to look forward to, someone to take care of, someone to watch grow.

We love and miss you dear, sweet Zach. There isn't a day, minute, or second that goes by that we aren't thinking about you. You are such an inspiration to us all. I was thinking the other day that you would be going into the 7th grade next year. Wow! I just can't imagine you that big. I see your friends and how tall they have gotten and I just can't imagine you that grown up. You will always and forever be my 9 year old baby boy. It is so hard to see your friends moving on, turning into young men. We will never see you mature into a yound adult, go on that first date, graduate from high school, or go off to college. We'll never see you get married or have children of your own. It is all so unfair Zach. I know you are in the most beautiful place, sitting upon Jesus's knee, telling stories about your family to all the other little angels but it doesn't make living without you any easier. We may be selfish but we want you here with us. What I would give just to have you home for a little while longer...........We love you Zach and miss you more than any word can describe.....................

Please continue to pray for our family. Living without Zach is so hard and never gets easier. It seems to get harder and harder with each passing day. Also, please pray for the family of my dear, sweet friend Callie Callaway that passed away May 8th. She was struck by a pick up truck while walking her children home. It was such a tragedy and now her 3 young children are left without a mommy. And don't forget to pray for all the children struck with this dreadful disease "CANCER" and pray for the families that have already lost a child. It never gets any better.......................

Tuesday, March 21, 2006 10:57 PM CST

My goodness!! I didn't realize that it has been 3 months since I last updated. Boy do I have some catching up to do.......

First of all, Dimas and I are going to be grandparents. Yes, that is right. Samantha is expecting. She is due August 24th, the day before my birthday. Now, I know most of you are probably in shock (if you don't know already) but even though Samantha is only 16, we feel this baby is a blessing from God and a gift from our precious Zach. Not to mention this baby has really settled our little girl down and brought our family closer together. We believe that Zach knew this would do the trick and it has. We are all excited. She is 4 1/2 months now and eating like crazy. She is getting a belly and looks so cute. I got to feel the baby kick the other day and it was the most awesome feeling. April 3rd she is having a sonogram that hopefully will tell us whether the baby is a boy or a girl. Either way she is planning on naming the baby after her little brother, Zach. Please keep her in your prayers that the baby continues to develop accordingly and that he or she is very healthy. Dimas finally finished remodeling her room except for a few minor things like trim but other than that it is completed. She has new furniture and loves it. Now we have to start looking for baby furniture.

Anthony is doing good. He still hates going to school but hopefully that will change. We are in the process of remodeling his room so he is pretty excited about getting to pick out new furniture and fixtures. He is still having a growth spurt and is almost as tall as me now if not already. Please keep him in your prayers. Please pray that he'll finally realize how important school is and will decide to put forth an effort. He is such a smart kid and I'm afraid he'll throw it all away.......

Dimas is busy with work. He loves his new job. He is actually okay with Sam being pregnant and is getting excited as well. His sister Nena says the baby needs to call him "PaPa D." I don't have a name picked out but Grandma just isn't me. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.................

As for me, I quit my job in December and I am going to college full time at Eastern New Mexico University-Roswell. I have also been excepted into the Bachelor's program of Social Work at ENMU-Portales. I had to write an essay about why I think I should be excepted into the program and I wrote about what my family has gone through with the terminal illness and death of our precious son. I stay pretty busy and have maintained all A's so far. Hopefully I can tell you that after finals!

Zach,
We all miss you so much. We miss your sense of humor and your loving ways. Your smile was so contagious as was your great attitude. I sure miss our special moments of holding hands or cuddling on the couch. You were and still are "Momma's Baby" and "Daddy's Little Buddy." What makes having this baby come into our lives so hard is the fact that you aren't here to enjoy it with us. You would love being called "Tio Zach." You always loved babies, for this one to be your own niece or nephew, would make you so proud. I promise you this baby will know who his/her "Tio Zach" is. We will tell the baby all about you. I know you will always be watching over the baby just like you watch over Daddy, Momma, Sister, Bubba, and Chicarita. Zach, you are our special guardian angel. We love you sweet boy!

I suppose that is enough news for tonight. I will try not to take as long to update next time. I have just been real busy getting back into the groove of studying and doing homework. It is a lot harder than you think..........

Please remember to pray for the families who have lost a child and the children suffering from all forms of cancer. Pray for a cure to be found!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, December 20, 2005 2:17 PM MST

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Christmas......sure isn't the same for our family as it once was. There used to be such love, excitement, and joy in our household awaiting the arrival of Santa Claus. Now there is nothing but sadness, no excitement, no joy at all. Shopping is very difficult. Everything we see reminds us of how much Zach loved Christmas. There are so many new toys, etc. that Zach would have wanted. Zach loved shopping and more than anything he loved wrapping up gifts of beautifully colored pictures he colored for everyone. There were times we would have 5 gifts a piece under the tree. He was a busy little elf! Those are moments I will treasure always. I can hear him now, "Mom, let's go buy more wrapping paper." We went through more wrapping paper with that boy. I would give anything to have to buy some for him now.............................................

This week is semester test week. A very nerve wracking week for Mom and Dad. Please pray that Anthony will do good. Sam is on no credit status so will have to make up the first semester in summer school. Please pray that she will snap out of whatever it is she is going through and get in gear so she can graduate next year.

Dimas is enjoying his new job. He has done such a wonderful job that the bosses want to send him and I to Hawaii. We aren't sure when. I better get busy working out and getting a tan though just in case!

Please add all the families to your prayer list that are going through their first or another Christmas without their child. Everyday is hard but the holidays bring on so many more emotions not to mention the beautiful memories of Christmas's past.

I need some extra prayers from everyone. I have decided to go to college to pursue a career in healthcare social work. I want to work with cancer patients and their families. I feel this is something I know lots about and that Zach is pushing me to do this. I feel the need to help people, especially people in a postion that we were once in. I have already quit my job which was very hard to do but Zach sent me a sign letting me know that it is okay that I am not working. His doctor, Dr. Susan Blaney from Texas Children's Hospital in Houston, called me just the other day. Out of the blue, the phone rings, and to hear her voice, what a special moment it was. If I had been at work I would have missed her phone call. Dr. Blaney and all of Zach's nurses became part of our family for 15 months. 2 years after he passes away and I get a call from her checking on us. What a wonderful feeling that was. She really encouraged my decision to go to school and had Zach's social worker call me, Jeri Gates. She was really helpful and offered to help in any way she could. Thank you Zach for letting Momma know that it is okay for me to do something for myself. I love you baby boy!


Merry Christmas From Heaven
I still hear the songs,
I still see the lights,
I still feel your love
on wintery nights.
I still share your hopes
and all of your cares.
I'll even remind you
to please say your prayers.
I just want to tell you
you still make me proud.
You stand head and shoulders
above all the crowd.

Keep trying each moment
to stay in His grace.
I came here before you
to help set your place.
You don't have to be
perfect all of the time.
He forgives you the slip
if you continue the climb.
To my family and friends
please be thankful today.
I'm still close beside you
in a new special way.
I love you all dearly,
now don't shed a tear.
Cause I'm spending my
Christmas with Jesus this year.

Zach, we miss you so much little buddy. We miss your sparkling eyes, cute little dimples, and funny little jokes. I miss your help baking cookies and decorating them. We all miss your special little gifts that either you colored for us or gifts that were once yours but you wanted to give them to us. Christmas just isn't the same, never will be. There is no joy or excitement over what everyone is getting or what Santa is bringing. If I could ask for one special gift, I'd ask God for a visit from you on Christmas morning......................................

One Less At Christmas Time

Christmas is a special time,
At least it used to be.
You see for Christmas now,
We have one less face to see.

One less child with sparkling eyes
Whose face is all aglow.
One less child to decorate the tree.

One less little giggle
When it's time to be asleep.
One less footstep to hear
Having an extra little peek.

So if you have children,
Grab and Hug them tight.
Thank God that they are with you
On this Christmas day and night.

~Unknown Author~

Merry Christmas dear family and friends,
Dimas, Misti, Samantha, Anthony, and our sweet angel Zach

Sunday, November 13, 2005 1:58 AM CST

I know you are all thinking what is she doing up so late but the guys are gone hunting and when Dimas isn't here I can't sleep worth a darn. I haven't written in a while but life around here has been really crazy.

We are all still struggling and instead of getting better it just seems to get worse. Sam is finally grieving and boy has it hit her hard. We have her in counseling twice a week and hopefully that will help her. She is also very angry towards everyone. She feels like it is mine and Dimas's fault that Zach passed away. She feels like we didn't do enough to save him. Those words really hurt but I understand that she doesn't know who to blame so she has to blame someone and who better than Mom and Dad who will forgive her and still love her no matter what. Her grades are dropping which isn't good and she doesn't care about anything. She did get a job so hopefully that will help occupy her time. She got a job at Dairy Queen (my first job too!) and seems to like it so far. She just has so many mood swings that it worries me. They have her on medication to help her sleep at night and took her off of her antidepressant because they felt like that was making things worse for her. She likes her counselor's so that is a plus. Please pray for her and her counselor's that they will be able to help her.

Anthony is still doing horribly in school. He just doesn't care. He really worries me. He still hasn't grieved and really keeps to himself alot (when he is at home anyways). I just don't know how to make him or Samantha realize how important going to school and getting good grades is for their future. They have such a bad attitude about it all. Hopefully Dimas will be able to get thru to him on their hunting trip. Please pray that Anthony gets that big one (his first one at that). Dimas said he shot at 2 big ones today and that hasn't ever happened so maybe he'll get one. I keep telling Zach to lead him to the big buck! I think that will help Ant to have something to be excited about. Please pray for Anthony too that he'll come around and start making better grades.

Dimas is busy with his new job (Vice President, General Manager of JWS). He seems to love it and will love it more when he gets things cleaned up out there. It was a mess when he took over. He doesn't get to play golf as much so maybe he'll get his remodeling of the house finished. I know Sam would like to have a room again.

As for me, I'm just hanging in there. I am so stressed out and just would like some peace. If it isn't one thing it is another. I am a basket case and I feel like a time bomb ready to explode any minute. By the way Sam has an appointment in Albuquerque on Wednesday, November 16th at 10:50 am. she has been having trouble with her hip again (the pain worse this time) and so we are going for a check up. Please keep her in your prayers for that as well.

November 15, 1993 at 5:00 in the afternoon Zachary Allen Herrera was born. I didn't have any names picked out for a boy because I just knew he was a girl (Thank God he wasn't!) so when I took one look at him the name just popped into my head out of no where and we named him right there in the delivery room. He was so beautiful weighing in at 8 lbs. I bought these cards with the meaning of the kids names on them and put them in their baby books. Zachary means "He who God Remembers" and Allen means "Handsome." God really did remember him. I just wish it could have been when he was old.

Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday dear Zachary,
Happy Birthday to you..........

Happy Birthday our sweet angel boy. 12 years old Mijo. 12 years old. I imagine you would be taller now and would probably be losing your baby look. You would have girls calling you all the time. I wish you were here baby boy. We all miss you so much. Life is so complicated now and so sad and depressing. Our lives will never be the same without you. I wish we could throw you a big party and watch you blow out your candles. I wish I could watch you play soccer, basketball, and baseball again. I wish you were here to help your brother and sister too. They need you. When they lost you a part of them died too. They have given up on alot of things because they feel like these things didn't save you so what does it matter. Please help them. Let them know you are still here with them only they can't see you. Tell Sister you are right there in the dug out always cheering her on. Tell Bubba that you are still better than him and challenge him. You two were always competing against each other. Tell them both you are always there inside their heart. They need you Zach. We all do............

Please remember all the Caringbridge children and their families fighting for their lives and the parents who have already lost their precious child. Losing a child is the worst possible thing anyone could ever experience. The pain is like no other.

God Bless each of you and thank you for remembering our Zach and our entire family.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005 9:39 PM CDT

At 2:45 AM, September 14, 2003, our precious little boy took his last breath. A moment that changed our lives forever. A moment we will never ever forget. Dimas and I were there in the beginning and we were there in the end. Neither of us would trade that for anything.

2 years have gone by. 2 whole years. It just doesn't seem possible. The pain is so fresh as if it happened yesterday. Our hearts are broken.

All of us stayed home today and just spent time together remembering our son and little brother. My sister in-law, Nena,(Zach's God Mother) came from Hobbs and spent the day with us as well. We ate at Taco Bell (Zach's second favorite to Taco Cabana and we all know Artesia New Mexico doesn't have one)and just sat around remembering our sweet little boy.

At 7:00 PM we (Zach's Grandpa Ronnie, Grandma Donna, Carissa, Uncle Tim, Aunt Theresa, Whitney, and of course Daddy, Momma, Sister and Bubba)went out to the cemetary and each of us let go of a balloon that we had written messages to Zach on. Then we lit candles and me, Dimas, and Whitney read a poem. Then we all just stood there in silence remembering a very brave, sweet boy.



In Loving Memory of Our Sweet Angel Zach

Last night we heard you whisper
We felt a breeze from high
You touched us with your spirit
We felt your wings sweep by
Our heart so filled with sorrow
We miss your special glow
No matter where we look now
Our tears they seem to flow
Yes, we hear your laughter
We see your special grin
Your eyes were so magnificant
Reflections now begin
Colors of a rainbow
That fall now from the sky
Each day in life you'll bring them
We'll never say good-bye....

Two years have passed Mijo since you went to Heaven. It seems like only yesterday. We miss you every second of every hour of every day.....We love you so very much and can't wait till the day we are all together again.........

Please check out this site. Zach is angel of the month for Septmember.

Zachary Allen Herrera
November 15, 1993 to September 14, 2003
http://home.comcast.net/~alnf1/child.htm

Saturday, July 2, 2005 11:21 AM CDT

Good morning everyone!

Just thought I'd update a little bit. Not much to tell. Dimas and I are busy working but doing okay. Anthony is almost done with summer school (next Thursday). Yeah! Keep it up son. You can do it! Sam is not doing a whole lot. She is bummed because she wants a job but is only 15 and they just aren't hiring 15 year olds. Wal Mart opens in September so I told her to apply there since she'll be sixteen on the 5th of August. Keep your fingers crossed. That would really keep her busy. Yes she is home. It has been three weeks since she came home. She did it on her own with no pressures from us. We are proud of her and she has been doing really good. She does help me out around the house alot and I really appreciate it.

We are planning a family vacation the end of July. We are going to Houston and staying a week out at Lake Conroe. We are really excited. We haven't really done anything like this since before Zach passed away. Please pray that all goes well. We will also be spending some time with my Aunt Dorletta and Uncle Mark and all my cousins so that will be fun too. We all really need to get away from here and do some relaxing.

It is Artesia's Centennial this weekend and we have all kinds of things going on here. We saw Clay Walker last night (free concert) and tonight is SheDaisy. There are lots of other things going on around town as well. It is nice just to have a three day weekend. We are planning on spending alot of time on the bike too. We hope to ride up to Cloudcroft Sunday with our friends to their cabin.

The fourth of July is always a hard holiday for us. Zach loved popping firecrackers. Oh how we miss him so. My sweet little boy. I just wish I could pick him up and hold him for a little while. Life just stinks without him. He meant so much to so many people. All our hopes and dreams left with him. It is so hard to see all of his friends growing up and moving on. I opened up the paper the other day and there was a page with all of the baseball allstar teams and there were all of his friends that he played with and I just know that Zach would have been right there too. He was such an awesome athlete. Oh why did he have to go? Why couldn't he stay here with us? I truly believe that our lives would be so different. I believe we would still be that perfect family we once were. I just wish all of this was a nightmare and I would wake up now. I can't stand not having my baby boy here with us. Our lives will never be the same. We love you Zach so very much. We know you are always with us but we want more than that. We want to be able to touch you and hold you. We want to talk to you and hear you talk to us. We want to hold your hand and kiss your precious cheeks.
Oh baby boy.............We miss you so.

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, June 11, 2005 8:46 AM CDT

Just sitting here, missing our precious Zach, and thought I would update everyone real fast. All is well here or should I say as well as can be. Anthony is going to summer school. He hates it but he knows he has to go in order to pass to the 8th grade. Another year in 7th grade just doesn't appeal to him. I wish I knew how to help him. He is so lost without his brother. He hasn't really grieved. I worry about him so much. Nothing matters to him anymore and it scares me. Anthony is such a smart young man and he used to have such high goals for himself but when Zach passed away that all went out the window. I just pray that he will open his eyes some day and realize that he can't just give up. Zach wouldn't want that. Zach loved his Bubba, still does, and would want him to be all that he can be and more. For those of you who don't know, Samantha isn't living at home. She moved out about 2 months ago. She lives with her best friend. She was just so miserable living at home. We aren't really sure what is going on in that mind of hers. She is lost too and I just pray that she will come back home some day. Please continue to pray for the both of them.

As for Dimas and I, we struggle from day to day. We are just as torn as the children and so lost without our Zach . We miss him so much. What is hard is trying to hold the family together. I just don't feel like I am doing a very good job of it. Dimas and I are closer than we have ever been. He is my crutch and I depend on him so much. I just couldn't imagine not having him here to help me through all of this. Bless his heart for putting up with me which I know is almost impossible at times. He is so wonderful and I love him so much. On June 24th we will be married for 17 years. Can you believe it? We have been thru so much those 17 years but it has made our love for each other so strong. Thank you my love for being my husband and putting up with me all these years. You mean the world to me. I couldn't have gotten thru everything we have been thru without you. You are my soul mate, my best friend. I will love you always and forever!

My sister in-law Fela had gall bladder surgery last week in Hobbs. After she went home she couldn't keep anything down and got really sick and was having so much pain. Well they took her back in and the doctor that did this surgey clipped her bile duct. They are going to have to do surgery again (She is now in Lubbock, TX at Covenant) to repair it. They put in a stint yesterday to help her liver get rid of what it is supposed to so that the jaundice can go away (hopefully) and they are having to give her antibiotics to get her pancreas back to normal, etc. They have her on TPN for nutrition because they don't want her to eat yet so that her liver won't have to work too hard. She will be in the hospital for a while. They won't do the surgery until her liver and pancreas can handle more trauma. Please keep her in your prayers.

Yeso Elementary's 5th grade graduation went very well. It was really hard once I saw all of the kids. We handed out graduation bears with his picture inside the pocket and a poem written by a friend of Zach's Cop Grandma, Connie. Attached to the poem was an I love you sign pin. These were a big hit. Everyone loved them. They also had a power point presentation that included a page in memory of Zach. Thank you Yeso teachers, 5th grade students, and of course Mr. Parker for letting us be a part of your graduation ceremony. Yeso school meant so much to Zach and I know he was smiling down from Heaven that day watching each of you, his friends, walk across that stage. You may be moving on to a new chapter in your life but Zach will still be right there with each of you cheering you on as he always did.

Zach's grave has been vandalized once again! We were in Lubbock at my niece's graduation the weekend of the 28th of May when we received a call from Sam telling us that all of Zach's lights had been broken and several others too. My Dad and step-mom called the police. You see Zach didn't like the dark and also right after we buried him I went out to the cemetary one night and I couldn't find him. I panicked! So ever since then we have put solar lights out there. After we received the call that they had broken all of them we went to Home Depot before coming home and bought new ones. We went out on Memorial Day and washed his headstone, planted grass, and put out all of his new stuff and yes his new lights. These were bigger and oh so beautiful. Wednesday morning Dimas went to water the grass and you guessed it the lights were busted again. We called the police and they finger printed everything and promised to increase patrol out there. We have since bought more lights and so far so good but it is the weekend so we'll see. I just don't understand how someone could do this to someone's grave. They must not have a heart. Zach never did anything to anyone.

My dearest Zach,
We miss you so much little buddy. Our pain just worsens with time. Just sitting here I can hear you laughing. I often sit here and I can see you and Bubba chasing each other down the hall or wrestling on the bed. I miss the times we would cuddle up on the couch and watch movies and you would hold my hand the entire time. I loved your hands. They were so perfect. Everything about you was perfect. I can see you at the stove helping Momma cook supper and sitting in the floor with Chicarita playing with her snake. I can still see you sitting on your bed playing your playstation or gameboy. Life without you here is so different. We had such big hopes and dreams for you. You were taken from us too soon. There isn't a moment that goes by Zach that we aren't thinking about you. We love you baby boy! We can't wait till the day we can hold you in our arms forever...................................

Please continue to pray for our family. We each have a hole in our heart that will never mend. Our family will never be the same without our Zach but hopefully we can learn to be a family again knowing that Zach is still a part of it only he is now our own special guardian angel watching over us from Heaven above.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005 12:11 AM MT

I have some very sad news.............................
Yesterday around 11:00 am our dear friend Amanda Ortega passed away. She was 17 yrs. old. This has really been hard on all of us because we had become really close to her and her family. She will be deeply missed by all who knew her. This young lady was very special. She had a heart of gold. She reminded me so much of Zach. She even looked like him when she was on steroids like he was. Please keep Amanda's family in your prayers. They have a long, hard road ahead of them.

I hope all of you Mom's out there had a wonderful day on Sunday. For me it was a very emotional day. We were going to take my Mom and sister out to eat so while we were waiting on them to get ready we went to my sister in-laws house. My sister in-law, Bibi, was here from Austin and her 2 small boys. Well, Esteban (1 yr. old) is a Momma's boy big time. He doesn't let anyone hold him but Momma. Well when we drove up we got out of the truck and started walking across the street and he came running out the door, arms outstretched as wide as they could go with a huge smile on his face, grabbed my legs, and when I picked him up he gave me the biggest hug. I squeezed just as hard. After a few seconds he started crying for his Momma. I truly believe this was my hug from my baby boy, Zach. He used Esteban to give me the hug because he knew I would figure it out since he doesn't have anything to do with anyone other than his Mom. I may be crazy but I could just feel Zach's arms around me. That was the most wonderful gift. Thank you Zach. Thank you for letting Momma know that you are still here with me just not where I can feel you or see you. You still know how to make Momma smile when she is feeling so sad. I love you sweet boy!

We, as a family, are still struggling from day to day. Life without Zach just gets harder and harder. It is so hard because I don't know how to help Samantha, Anthony, or Dimas much less myself. We are all grieving and in different ways. The pain is so intense and only worsens with time. Dimas and I have grown so much closer even more so than before. Our love seems to get stronger everyday. Without him I just don't know what I would do. I thank God everyday for bringing Dimas into my life 21 years ago. The kids seem to be hurting so bad. There isn't much communication between us. It just breaks my heart to see them in so much pain. They both seem so distant from us. I just hope they know how much they mean to us. We love them so much and we just wish we could take away their pain but that is impossible.

Please continue to pray for our family as we continue to grieve for our beloved son and brother.

Tuesday, March 8, 2005 1:08 AM CST

I hadn't realized how long it has been since I last updated. I apologize everyone. We are all okay. Dimas and I have been really busy with work and Sam is busy with softball. She is on JV and loves it. Her first game is Thursday in Dexter, NM and we are all so excited. I know Zach is so proud of his sister. He just loved watching her play ball. He'll have all the angels watching her now. She is also doing so well in school. Anthony is still struggling with school but doing so much better. His goal is to play football next year so that is what we are striving for. We all miss Zach more and more each day. We are all in a different phase of our grief journey and that makes it hard to help the others if we don't even know how to help ourselves. Whoever said time heals, just doesn't understand the pain of losing a child. We hurt more and more with each passing day. Zach was such a special part of our lives. He was our son, brother, grandson, nephew, cousin, and friend. Please continue to pray for our family. It is a struggle to just get out of bed each day.

I don't have much to update on. Please continue to pray for all the children fighting this horrible disease and pray for the families that have lost a child. Losing a child is the worst thing a person will ever have to experience.

Dear Zach,
Momma, Daddy, Bubba, and Sister miss you so much. There isn't a second that goes by that we don't think about you. There are so many memories everywhere we go. Samantha misses having her little brother cheering her on at her games and Anthony misses having someone to wrestle with. Momma and Daddy miss holding you. You meant the world to us. We can't help feeling the way we do. We know you are in a much better place than the rest of us but baby we can't help it that we want you here with us. You brought such joy to our lives in so many different ways. We know you are in good hands and are well taken care of till we get to Heaven with you but that still doesn't ease our minds. We can't help it that we are selfish. We love you sweet boy and want you here with us. We miss your cute laugh, sweet smile, and funny faces you made to make us laugh. We miss everything about you son................

We are sending you hugs and kisses straight to Heaven!

Love always and forever,
Momma, Daddy, Bubba, and Sister

Sunday, January 9, 2005 3:02 PM CST

HAPPY NEW YEAR FAMILY AND FRIENDS!

I hope all is well with each of you. Except for going out to the cemetary yesterday and finding everything gone or destroyed at Zach's grave site, we are doing okay. It makes us so angry that someone could do that to our precious little boy's grave. Zach never did anything to anyone. Can't people respect other people's stuff? Especially at a cemetary???? Whoever did will have to answer to the man above someday and that is when they'll pay for what they did. It had to have happened Friday night because Dimas was there on Thursday and everything was fine. It upsets me so much. Some of the stuff missing were things that have been made for him. AAAAUUUGGGHHHH!!!

Sam and Ant are doing good. Sam has started softball and loves it. She is also in Drivers Ed (stay off the road everyone!!!). Her grades were good too this last semester and we are so proud of her. Ant's grades were good too. He could have done better in a couple of his classes but as long as he passes we are happy. They have been through so much the last several years and we are just glad that they are finally living normal lives again (well, as normal as can be). He isn't playing sports since the only sport he likes is football so he took another elective and will play sports next year in the 8th grade. Keep up the good work guys! Momma and Daddy are so proud of you!

As for Dimas and I, we just work and go home. We are starting to work on the house again (well, we are finishing the kitchen finallly). We plan to start building a bathroom and walk-in closet in Ant's bedroom as soon as the kitchen is completed. I hope that will be at least in the next month or so.

Our Christmas was good. We spent it at my Mom's. My sister, Kristi and my nieces were there too. We all had such a wonderful time. It made my Mom so happy to have her kids and grandkids together for Christmas again. While we were there my Aunt Dorletta and Uncle Mark came and brought us the shadow box that he made for us with Zach's stuff. It is gorgeous and brought tears to us all. It was a very emotional moment to see Zach's baseball glove, batting glove, baseball shirt and pants, and soccer shirts, etc. that he actually wore so many times. There is also a baseball that he carried everywhere and some of his medals and of course a picture. We have it hung in the living room for all to see. Uncle Mark also made Sam and Ant a shelf for their rooms. Thank you Uncle Mark! You are the greatest. You can tell this shadow box was made with so much love. Zach loved you too!!!

Our New Year's Eve was okay. We have a really hard time ringing in another new year. It means that life is going on.......something we have a hard time with. We still feel like it should be 2003. We decided to look at it in this way, it is one year closer to getting to be with our precious little boy once again, for eternity. What a glorious day that will be.

I guess that is all the news I have for now. We love and miss you all and really miss all the guestbook entries we were so used to reading. Please, when you stop by, leave us a message, even if it is just to say hi. It means so much to us to know that our Zachary hasn't been forgotten and that we are thought of too.

Please remember to pray for our good friend Amanda Ortega. She went for MRI's 2 weeks ago and goes for results and other tests on the 20th of this month. Please pray for good results. Also, continue to pray for all the caringbridge kids and their families that are fighting their battle and for the families that are living without their precious child. It is the hardest thing a parent will ever have to go through in their lifetime.

I ask that you continue to pray for our family as well. Our grief is still so new, so fresh. We have a long road still ahead of us. Without all of you we couldn't get through it at all. Thank you & God Bless you all!!!

Thursday, December 16, 2004 11:56 PM MT

Hello family and friends,

The holidays are here and instead of being happy and cheerful, our family is sad and melancholy. Samantha and I were talking yesterday and one of the things we miss about Christmas is hearing Zach telling me "Let's go to K-Mart Mom. I need more wrapping paper." Zach always, every year since I can remember, colored special pictures for all of us and wrapped them up and put them under the tree for us to open on Christmas morning. One year he even started wrapping up odd things he already had to give to Sam and Ant. He was such a sweetheart. Always giving in more ways than one. He was/is such a special little boy. Do you notice how his eyes twinkle in his picture?

I did get my tree up this year. Or should I say Zach's tree. We put up the white tree that Zach asked for his last Christmas with us. I can still see him sitting on the step to the living room, our other tree just about finished, and him asking "Next year can we get a white tree? I think that would be pretty." So, Dad said he would be right back and he headed off to K-Mart and bought Zach his white Christmas tree. The hardest part was pulling out all of the ornaments that he made me over the years. I cried the whole, entire time but I was bound and determined to get the tree up. Anthony had requested that we put it up. I couldn't let him or Sam down.

Shopping is very hard for us. We haven't even begun. The Christmas decorations, music, and gifts that Zach would have loved are just too much for us. I know we have to do it for Sam and Ant but oh how hard it is. The both of them have been real understanding about it all though. They have both come a long way. They are doing so well. Sam even signed up for softball second semester so we'll be able to watch our baby girl do her thing for the Lady Dogs. She is also signed up to take Drivers Ed. Warning-stay off the roads, driver in training!!! Not really, she does really well.

I would like to ask everyone to keep our dear friend Amanda Ortega in your prayers. She has cancer in her spine (I'm not sure exactly what it is called, I know she had several malignant tumors that have been removed and it is a wait and see sort of thing) and is bound to a wheelchair. She is so sweet. Sam goes to school with her and we are trying to help them as much as possible. It is really hard because she reminds us so much of Zach. She has no hair and is swollen from the steroids. But is just as cute as she can be. She came over last night and we bought pizza and rented I Robot. We really enjoyed her company. She and Sam have become really good friends. Tonight we took over our old Christmas tree and lights and bought some new ornaments so that they could have a Christmas tree. Dimas found her a very special angel that after the button is pressed sings Silent Night and brings her hands together like she is praying. She is beautiful. Lakeview Christian Hospice gave us $300 out of the "Zachary Project Fund" to go shopping for her and the Elks Lodge gave them a $200 gift certificate for groceries and also paid one of their utility bills. Various others have donated to the Zachary Project to be used for Amanda and some good friends of ours, Chad and Angie Jackson gave them a $100 gift certificate for groceries. I would like to thank each and everyone of you for all that you do. The family of Amanda Ortega thanks you too. We just want to help this family so much because we know what they are going through. Having a child with cancer is so emotionally and financially draining for the whole family. So many people helped us when Zach was sick that we want to return the love and kindness that we received from so many people. If anyone would like to send Amanda some "Happy Mail" please send it to my address and I will make sure she gets it. Amanda Ortega c/o Misti Herrera, 1803 Clayton Ave., Artesia, NM 88210.

I would also like to ask everyone to please keep our family and others that are spending Christmas without one of their children in your prayers. The holidays are such a difficult time and we could use all the support we can get.

Merry Christmas From Heaven

I still hear the songs,
I still see the lights,
I still feel your love
on wintery nights.
I still share your hopes
and all of your cares.
I'll even remind you
to please say your prayers.
I just want to tell you
you still make me proud.
You stand head and shoulders
above all the crowd.

Keep trying each moment
to stay in His grace.
I came here before you
to help set your place.
You don't have to be
perfect all of the time.
He forgives you the slip
if you continue the climb.
To my family and friends
please be thankful today.
I'm still close beside you
in a new special way.
I love you all dearly,
now don't shed a tear.
Cause I'm spending my
Christmas with Jesus this year.

Christmas Without You

The lights are blinking merrily
The tinsel's on the tree
It sits there in the window
For all the world to see.
The house is filled with holly
And pinecone scents the air
The Christmas cards keep coming
Each one is hung with care.
The gifts are tied with ribbons red
And topped with pretty bows
I'm done with all the details
As far as Christmas goes.
The fire is softly glowing
I think about your touch
But Christmas isn't Christmas
I miss you oh, so much.
If I could have just anything
My Christmas wish would be
To wake up in the morning
And find you here with me.
I reminisce our Christmas' past
The joy and love we shared
Moonlit walks and midnight talks
And ways you showed you cared.
Staring at your picture
I long to be set free
Tonight the tears are streaming
As I hold it next to me.
Flakes of snow swirl through the air
I'm braced for stormy weather
I wait for brighter days ahead
When we can be together.
So hold a place in heaven dear
Someday when life is through
I'll be the Christmas angel
Who shares this day with you.

From our family to yours,
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

Dimas, Misti, Samantha, Anthony, and Angel Zach

Zach,
We miss you little buddy. It gets harder and harder to live in this world without you. We long to hold you and snuggle with you and just talk to you. We so long for the day we are reunited in Heaven. I know that you will be spending Christmas with Jesus and celebrating his Birthday with him but it still doesn't ease the pain of not having you here with us, opening your gifts, oohing and ahhhing. We miss your hugs and holding your cute little hands. We miss your smell, your laugh, even your bad moods. We just miss you Mijo and long to be with you. We miss you so much that the pain is getting so unbearable. We still keep asking "Why?" but we won't ever know until we are face to face with God. It is just so hard to understand why you were taken from us. Only God knows...
We love you baby boy!
Sweet Dreams my sweet angel...................

Sunday, November 14, 2004 5:13 PM CST

Today, 11 years ago, my sister in-laws and I went to Wal Mart. They were bound and determined I was going to go into labor. We laughed and laughed and shopped and shopped until I was exhausted and so we went to the snack bar. We sat for a bit and drank something and as I was getting up, so we could finish our shopping, my water broke. Yes, right there in the snack bar at Wal Mart in Hobbs, NM. We hurried and checked out, my sister in-law Corina panicking because it was taking forever, and headed back home to Denver City, TX (30 miles away). I wasn't having any contractions at all. We stopped at my house, picked up Dimas, and headed to the hospital. They admitted me and around 5:00 pm on November 15, 1993 born to us was the most beautiful baby boy. We had no names picked out for a boy because I was convinced that he was a she. The nurse handed him to me and I took one look at him and said his name is Zachary Allen Herrera. Zachary meaning "He whom God remembers" and Allen meaning "handsome." That was my boy, which we didn't know at the time, remembered by God and oh so handsome. Who would have known we would have him for only 9 short years....................................

Yesterday some of our family came and celebrated Zach's birthday with us since his big day is on a Monday. His Tio Smokey BBQ'd (Zach loved his Tio's BBQ) and his Tia Robin made him a chocolate cake. Cop Grandma made an absolutely, positively, awesome DVD slideshow (with music of course) honoring Zach's life. Thank you so much Mom. This was the best gift anyone could ever give us. I'm sure we will watch this video over and over and over. Zach's Grandpa Donce was here and so was his Tia Fela and cousins Valerie and Melany. Grandpa Ronnie and Grandma Donna and his Aunt Carissa came over too. After eating the delicious BBQ we headed to the cemetary to let go of metallic blue balloons, sending them up to Heaven for our birthday boy, and had a candlelight vigil. During the vigil we sang "Happy Birthday" and had everyone say one word that made them think of Zachary. This was very emotional but such a precious moment involving family and friends. Me and Dimas along with Grandpa Donce bought Zach a bench with his favorite team emblems engraved into it for everyone to have a place to sit when visiting. This bench is beautiful. Today, Zach's Tia and Godmother, Nena and his cousins Joshua, Audriana, Andrew,and Christian came to visit and brought him his birthday topper for his headstone. Nena, you out did yourself. It is so Zach. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts. Nena and the kids ate lunch with us and then they had to head back home before it got too dark on them not to mention before the roads possibly got icy from all the rain.

Tomorrow, the big day, the day our baby would be turning 11 years old, we plan to take him some balloons and spend some time with him as a family. Tomorrow will be such a hard day. We miss our boy so much. I have been sitting here remembering past birthdays and how much he loved having parties. I'm sure Jesus has planned a party to remember for him inviting all of his new angel friends.

"Zach, we love you sweet boy. I wish I could wake up tomorrow morning and give you your birthday spanking just like I did every year. I wish I could make your favorite food and plan a party inviting all of your friends. I wish I could see the excitement on your face as you open your gifts from everyone. I wish I could hear you telling everyone how much you love their gift and telling Daddy and I how much you love us and how much you like your gifts from us. I want to hear your beautiful laugh as you play with your friends. I wish for so many things, all of them about you. I just know that some day, when God feels it is time, we will be reunited and can have as many birthday parties as we want, for a lifetime.

"Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Zachary, Happy Birthday to you!"

During the week of Nov. 15th thru Nov. 19th, Yeso Elementary School will be taking donations for the Zachary Herrera Memorial Scholarship Fund. Each person making a donation will get their name on a purple soccer ball and the school will hang it in the window at the school for all to see. We have gotten several donations already and we thank each and everyone of you for your generosity. All donations may be sent to Yeso Elementary, 1806 Centre Ave, Artesia, NM 88210 or you may send them to me and I will take them to the school myself, Misti Herrera, 1803 Clayton Ave. Artesia, NM 88210. The checks can be made out to Yeso Elementary School and in the memo you can write Zachary Herrera Memorial Scholarship Fund.

Here is a poem I found and I just changed up a few things. It really explains how we as a family feel on this day and always.

How sad and melancholy this day is for us now, November 15th the day you were born.

A day we used to greet with balloons, streamers and more, a day we celebrated the birth of our baby boy.

You would jump with excitement at the thought of the party to come, with all your special friends and family, games, music, prizes and fun.

How we loved to see the smile on your face and the sparkle in your eyes as you unwrapped each present bought just for you and loving each and every one.

And of course, best of all, the cake made just for you, embellished with your name and age and all lit up for you.

Oh the joy of watching you close your eyes and make that perfect wish, then blowing with all your might to make that wish come true.

Now the only wish that I can ever make can never come to be, for I would wish for your return to Daddy, Bubba, Sister, and me.

A great longing to see you, hold you and kiss you comes over us and brings us down, but then come flashes of oh so special memories that take away our frown.

The sweetness of your smile and voice, the goodness of your soul are forever implanted in our hearts, minds and souls.

And deep within us rises again, the hope that we will meet once more, in God's own time and place and live forever more.

Happy birthday, our precious little boy! We love and miss you!

Saturday, October 30, 2004 12:40 AM CDT

I know, I know, I haven't updated in a long while but since starting my new job at Lois Oliver Real Estate, I have been extremely busy which is a very good thing. I love working for my Aunt Theresa. Everyone I work with is wonderful.

My Mom called and passed on some very bad news this morning. Cheyenne Fiveash, one of our good friends on Caringbridge, passed away this morning at 1:06 am. She also had a Pontine Glioma. She was 13 yrs. old. Please keep her family in your prayers. Also please pray for Connor Hunley and his family and Cody Bear recovering from brain surgery.

Anthony and Samantha are doing great. Sam is back home with us and we are really enjoying having her here. Anthony did great on his report card. No D's or F's! He hasn't had a good one like that since Zach got sick. We are so proud of him. His reward is getting to go hunting for a week with Dad. I think this will be great bonding time for the two of them. Sam and I are going to stay here and bond. Her grades were great too, so much better than the last couple of years. She had all A's and B's. Dimas is in his last golf tournament of the year and so now maybe he can begin working on the house again. We are all still trying to get thru each day one day at a time. We miss our Zach so much and the holidays make it so much harder to cope. Please keep our family in your prayers, we still have a long journey ahead of us.

I woke up this morning remembering Zach's last Halloween and the many before that. I remember his Halloween Party in Kindergarten. They were supposed to dress up and they were to do a parade going through each class. Zach refused to wear his costume. I am not sure why but he down right refused and it didn't even bother him that he was the only one out of costume. I also remember his last Halloween. He was still on steroids and didn't want to have to go in his wheelchair so he decided to stay home and stand at the door and scare all the kids. He was the character from Scream and had this red liquid that pumped thru his mask. He was really scarry looking. I wonder what he would have been this year? This is a poem given to me in my bereaved parents support group:

TRICK OR TREAT

The night is dim,
and the pumpkins grin
at children on the porch.

The doorbell rings.
"Trick or Treat" they sing.
My heart burns like a torch.

The Dracula's face
and a princess in lace
are peering in at me.

How I'd love to ask
"May I lift your mask?"
and hiding, there you'd be!

You'd get such a kick
from that silly trick,
but disguised, you must stay.

In the wind that blows
my heart still knows,
you're playing October charades.

Happy Halloween Everyone!!

Tuesday, October 5, 2004 11:13 PM CDT

It has been a while since I last updated so I thought I'd better do that tonight. I don't have much to report except that it is really raining out there and I love it. We are having a real live thunderstorm. We haven't had one in a long time.

Sam got her progress report and she has all A's and 2 B's so far this nine weeks. We are so proud of her. It has been a while since she had such good grades. Keep up the good work sweetie. We love you and we know that you can continue to do good. We are so proud that you are our little girl. I don't know if I told everyone but Sam is living in Hobbs with her Tia Fela (Dimas's sister). She just wasn't doing good here in Artesia. Fela offered, Sam wanted to, and so now she is going to school there and doing great. She seems to really like it there. We miss her terribly and try to see her on the weekends but sometimes that just isn't long enough. So, once again, our family is broken.

Anthony is doing really well now. His progress report wasn't very good but it opened his eyes and he has really been making good grades and really trying to get them up and keep them up. He misses his sister on top of missing Zach so I know he has a hard time not giving up on everything. That is really hard to do for Dimas and I as well. But, we are still here and trying our best to survive this horrible nightmare. We miss Zach more and more each day. We have so many wonderful memories of him and I am constantly reminded throughout each day of one or another of these special memories. Zach was such a blessing to all of us and to all who knew him for that matter. I have some new pictures to post of his memorial ceremony on Sept. 14 but I haven't downloaded them yet so be looking for them soon.

"Zach,
Daddy, Momma, sister and Bubba miss you so much. You were/are such a special little boy. I love to sit and look through pictures and remember all those special times we shared. Your 11th birthday is fast approaching and all I can do is think about all the birthdays you celebrated with your family and friends. We long to hold you, smell you, and hear your sweet voice. Sometimes I can hear you singing your favorite songs and it makes me smile. Chicarita misses you too. She misses wrestling with you and playing with her snake. Since you went to Heaven she doesn't play with her snake anymore and she doesn't wrestle. She won't let anyone do the things she let you do like body slam her or swing her around while her teeth were clenching her snake. She just loved that. She plays with Cinnamon but it just isn't the same. Nothing is the same, nothing. Sweet dreams baby boy........

I am working for my Aunt Theresa now. I started 3 weeks ago and I love it. Her office is really busy and so I'm working non-stop, no down time, no having time to think which is good. I crater though by the time I get home at 5:00pm and then the emotions fly. I just miss Zach so much. I hate holidays. Halloween is coming up and we would already be searching for a costume. He liked being scarry things like "SCREAM."

With all the rain Dimas hasn't gotten to play much golf but he is going to Ruidoso, NM Thursday to play in the Pro-Am golf tournament. He is really excited. I don't get to go since I just started my job and they are just way to busy for me not to be there.

Well, it is off to dreamland for me (Dimas and Ant are busy snoring already). I would like to ask everyone to keep Cheyenne in your prayers and also Trevor Joiner's parents. They lost Ross months ago and on Oct. 4th they lost Trevor. Also keep all of the Caringbridge kids in your prayers.

Until next time........................

Tuesday, September 14, 2004 1:19 AM CDT

One year ago today, September 14, 2003 at 2:45 a.m. our precious Zach passed away peacefully at home in his parents arms and surrounded by his loving family. This is a day that forever changed our lives and the lives of all who knew him. Zachary was 9 years old, too young to endure what he went through for 15 months but went through it with such courage and bravery. Zach was a hero to all. I remember the day that Zach told me he didn't think he was going to live a long life. I was devastated to hear these words. He knew it and so he put his arm around me and said "But Momma, when people die they go to a much better place." I never thought I would hear these words from my nine year old little boy. During Zach's illness, right up until the end, he never, ever complained. He always, no matter what was happening to him, or how bad he felt, had a smile to give. He won the hearts of everyone he met in his short life and left a lasting impression on their hearts. He didn't let a beast like Pontine Glioma get to him. He strived to make the most of every day. Zachary brought so much love, happiness,and laughter to our home. Life just isn't the same withour our little buddy. We all miss him so much. Dimas and I long to hold our precious baby boy in our arms and to hear his sweet voice. We would give anything to be able to turn back time. Samantha and Anthony struggle day to day. They both miss their little brother more than words can describe. There is no laughter or happiness in our home anymore. No matter how hard we try to make ourselves move on it just doesn't seem possible. There doesn't seem to be light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you everyone from the bottom of our hearts for all the prayers and words of encouragement during this past year. Today the pain seems so much worse than it did a year ago. I guess the numbness wore off finally and reality has set in. There will be no more watching him walk to school with his backpack in tow, no more middle of the night "Can I sleep with ya'll? I had a bad dream (or whatever excuse he could come up with). There will be no more special gifts that he would color for everyone at Christmas under the tree, no more fighting with his Sister and Bubba. I could go on for hours.

Gosh, two more hours and it will be time. My heart is just aching so much. The pain is so intense. This pain will be there for as long as I live.

Dearest Zachary,

A year has gone by
since you went away.
We think of you often,
every night and day.

When the morning comes
and we start on our way,
we know you are in Heaven
with other little angels at play.

And then in the night
when we lay down to sleep,
you are in the arms of Jesus
where you are safe in His keep.

We miss you dear Zach
our hearts are still in pain.
Your love it was strong
and with us remains.

Yes, we hear your laughter,
we see your special grin.
Your eyes were so magnificent,
reflections now begin.

The birds outside our window,
sing your favorite songs.
And to see you run and play,
in our hearts we do long.

But we know you are happy
in your heavenly home,
where all things are beautiful
in the clouds where you roam.

Our hearts are at ease,
knowing where you are now.
Whenever we want to see you,
we just look to the clouds.

So, Happy Birthday our sweet, handsome Zach.
It has been one year today,
our Jesus brought you home to Him
in the clouds to safely play.

We love and miss you,
Daddy, Momma, Sister, and Bubba


This very poem will be in the Artesia paper today. A special tribute to a special boy. I also heard that at Yeso Elementary (Zach's school) the 5th graders (Zach's classmates) will be letting go of balloons in memory of Zach. I just feel so proud that my little boy made such an impact on everyone. We plan on doing the same thing tomorrow afternoon sometime out at the cemetary and then tomorrow night we are going to do a candlelight vigil at the cemetary. Everyone is welcome to come and join us. I'm sure the candlelight vigil will be as soon as it gets dark. If you aren't able to join us we ask that everyone light a candle in memory of our sweet Zach.


A candle to remember, may it burn ever so bright,
as we look to the Heavens on this very night.

Beyond the stars, our dear Zachary soars,
embraced by his Saviour on Heaven's shores.

As the angels protect him and sing his sweet name,
we honor his life with the glow of this flame.

So we light this candle for you, Zachary, on this special night,
as a symbol of our love and your eternal life.

Zachary Allen Herrera
Nov. 15, 1993-Sept. 14, 2003
"Our little hero, God's little angel"

Saturday, September 4, 2004 9:44 AM CDT

As I sit here at the computer, I can't help but think of what we were doing a year ago at this time. I have been reliving Zach's last weeks and feeling my heart being ripped out all over again. Zach hadn't eaten or drank anything in 4 days. I was so worried about him so we took him to the ER. Zach had told Hospice that he wanted a birthday party with all of his family so we had a house full. The doctor put him on an IV to give him nourishment and admitted him overnight. Zach still wanted to have his party so the next day we had a party in the room with probably 50 or more family members. There were balloons (lots and lots of balloons) and we had presents and of course cake. When we put the cake up to Zach he started chunking it. First at me then at everyone else. Zach even licked his fingers which was the most he had eaten in days. The memory of his cake covered body and the look on his face will never be forgotten. The staff at Artesia General were so wonderful for not getting upset with us. They let us have our fun and then they came in and cleaned it up. Afterwards, Zach looked at me and said "I want to go home. I don't want to be here anymore." So that is what we did, went home. This event took place 2 weeks before Zach passed away. The weekend before we had lots of family here again but Zach wasn't able to really enjoy it. Hospice had put in a feeding tube through his nose and Zach hated it. We finally ended up taking it out several days later because he started having trouble breathing and just plain hated it. It was none stop visiting during this whole entire 2 weeks. Everybody continued to come and spend time with our precious Zach. His friends from school, his Principal, Mr. Null, Preacher Elliott, Bro. Duff, I believe just about the whole entire staff at Lakeview Christian Hospice, Father Conrad, and many more friends and family too numerous to mention. Thank you all for caring so much. I know that all of it meant so much to Zach.

We are having a memorial for Zach on Saturday, September 11, 2004. I really don't have a specific time yet but I do know it will be sometime that afternoon (not sure exactly what we will be doing yet)and then again that evening for a candlelight vigil. I will update more the closer it gets to the 11th. All family and friends are invited to come and celebrate the life of a very special little boy who is now a very special angel.

We are all doing okay. Dimas like always is busy working and golfing. One more tournament and then our weekends are free. YIPPEE! Samantha is doing good in school and says she likes her teachers. Anthony just says when asked how his day was at school, "Boring." We'll see how boring it is when I get progress reports. He seems to be dealing with being in the 7th grade again okay which I am thankful. It is still early though and things could change. As for me, I'm just trying to keep my sanity which is a full time job these days. I have been having a really hard time (Dimas too). It seems like the pain from losing Zach just seems to intensify with every passing moment. He was so very special to all of us. He is dearly missed.

Last night we were at the golf course (big tournament this weekend) and they had a band playing and a steak dinner, etc. Dimas had taken off his cap after he played and I couldn't help but laugh at him all night because his hair was sticking up in the back just like Zach's used to and then on the side Zach always had a piece that would curl up when he was sweating and Dimas had this problem too last night. I kept trying to fix it because I could hear Zach in the bathroom getting so mad because the more he wet it and the more he brushed it just made it worse. He would yell "I'm not going to school" and then he would throw the brush and stomp off to his room and throw himself on his bed. He would finally calm down and let Mom do it and of course Mom always made it better and he would go to school happy. Zach was such a perfectionist especially when it came to his hair. He couldn't stand for one little piece to be sticking up. He gets this from my Dad because he is the same way but he uses lots and lots of hairspray to keep his down. Zach hated hairspray and very seldom wanted gel. Oh how I miss those days. I would give anything to have those days back. I wish I could turn back time.

I want to thank all of you for stopping by and checking in on us from time to time. We still love to read the guestbook entries so please drop us a line if you visit. Our Caringbridge friends are a hard habit to break and we would love to hear from all of you. Please continue to pray for Cheyenne. She has stopped chemo because of awful side effects and has been having severe head pain and nausea. They have put her on the awful Decadron because she has some swelling in the brain. She goes back to San Antonio Sept. 20th to compare her MRI taken the other day to her last one to see if there is any growth and from there they'll decide what chemo to try next. Also continue to pray for all the other Caringbridge kids and pray for the families that have recently lost a child to this horrible disease. Pray that God will hold their hands and walk with them through this terrible nightmare and that he will provide them with the strength to keep on living. What helps me get out of bed each and every day is my beautiful daughter Samantha, handsome son Anthony and my wonderful husband Dimas. I am so proud of all of you. You bring such joy to my life. Without you I wouldn't be able to go on. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for just being you.

Tuesday, August 24, 2004 4:18 PM CDT

Tomorrow, August 25th is my Birthday. This is the first one in 9 years without my Zach. Last year was very special thanks to my Mom, sister Kristi and my sister in-law Nena. They did their best to make my day special. I think the most special part of that day was when Zach told me he loved me and asked me if I would marry him. I wish he was here today to tell me that again. "Yes Zach, I would be honored to marry you." He was so special like that. He was always calling me his "cupcake" and holding my hand or putting his arm around me. Especially when Dimas, Zach and I would sit on the couch in the evenings and watch tv. Those were very special times that I will never forget. I sure wish Zach was here today to celebrate this day with me. He never forgot to tell any of us Happy Birthday when it was our Birthday. Zach loved parties and especially Birthday parties. Remember he had like 4 or 5 birthdays in a years time. I think the reason he loved Birthday parties so much was because the whole family usually got together. I mean Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, Mom, Dad, Bubba and sister and even close friends. I have posted some pictures of my Birthday party last year (or me opening my gifts). Please take the time to check them out. Who would have known that this would be my last one with Zach? Who would have known that he would pass away only 20 days later.............................

Zach,
I know that you will be with me on this special day. You always have been. I miss you so much baby boy. We all do. Daddy, Momma, Sister and Bubba think about you all the time. There isn't a moment that goes by that we don't think about your sweet smile or your beautiful laugh or remember something special that you did. Ant always talks about the times you two would wrestle and he would start laughing and you would get more mad the more he laughed and would then start punching him. You were always wrestling or playing ball in the house. I miss those days. Our house is really quiet without you. I can remember the time Sam dressed you up like a girl and made you and Ant dance on the coffee table to Selena. Those were such special times. We all know that we will see you again. God promised this to us. We are holding him to that promise. Until we see you in Heaven sweet boy we will hold on to the precious memories that we have made during the nine years we were given with you. We are so blessed to have been given that time to know you and to love you. We love you Zach!

Please continue to pray for Cheyenne who is on a different chemo that makes her very tired. She is going to school and loves it. Please stop by her Web Page and give her some words of encouragement. www.caringbridge.org/tx/cheyenne5

Please pray for all the other caringbridge children fighting their battles and also pray for all the families that have recently lost a loved one to this beast of a tumor. Will a cure ever be found??

Monday, August 16, 2004 9:30 AM CDT

Today is a very hard day for me and I'm sure for Dimas as well. Today would have been the first day of 5th grade for Zach. Anthony got up and got ready rather early and we looked out the window and saw the Yeso kids walking to school with their backpacks in tow. I could just picture Zach walking right along with them. Oh sweet Zach we miss you so. The pain just increases with the passing of time. Saturday it had been 11 months since you took Jesus's hand and left to live amongst the Angels in Heaven. I so long to hear your sweet laugh, hold your hand, or just hold you in my arms. You will always be special to all of us and your memory will live on in each of us whose lives you have touched. There is not a second that goes by that each of us doesn't think about you. I pray often for God to let me have a visit from you so that I know you are okay. I just need to see you and feel your presence. We all love you so much baby boy and can't wait till the day we are reunited and will be together forever in Heaven.

Jesus, I heard you had a big house

Jesus, I heard you had a big house,
where I could have a room of my own.
And Jesus, I heard you had a big yard,
big enough to let a kid roam.

I heard you had clothes in your closet,
Just the right size that I wear,
And Jesus, I heard if I give you my heart,
then you would let me go there.

Jesus, I heard about meal time,
when all your children come to eat,
I heard you had a great big table
where every kid can have his own seat.

Jesus, they said there will be plenty,
of good things in Heaven to share,
And Jesus, I'd just like to tell you
I sure would love to go there.

Jesus, I heard in your big house
there's plenty of love to go around.
I heard there's always singing and laughter
to fill the place with happy sounds.

And I've been thinking that a friend
who would give me all that he's got
before I even have met him
well, he sure must love me alot.

And Jesus, I'd just like to tell you,
I sure do love you alot.

Our family still has a long road ahead of us. Our lives were forever changed when we lost Zach and now what keeps us going are our 2 beautiful children at home, Samantha and Anthony. I know that it is hard for them to see their parents crying all the time and so sad but I hope they know that sometimes the only thing that can make us smile is to see their sweet faces. I know that they have felt left out or neglected at times throughout Zach's illness and passing. We just hope that they know how important they are to us and how much we need them right now. We are so proud of both of them. Our family has been through some really hard times the past several years but I feel like these trying times have made our love for each other stronger than ever before. Families need to stick together in trying times like these, not split apart and at times I feel like that is happening to our family. I just pray that we will overcome this and be a family once again. There has always been five of us and now there is four. Us four have to stick together to get through the pain and agony we face each day without Zach. Please continue to pray for our family as we continue on this road to healing and coping with the loss of our special son and brother. We thank each of you (friend and family) for your love and support these past couple of years. May God Bless each of you in a very special way.

Misti

Sunday, August 8, 2004 2:18 PM CDT

It has been a while, just haven't been able to put things into words........
The kids and I just came back from a vacation in Houston, TX. We went to see my Aunt Dorletta, Uncle Mark and cousins. We had a really nice time but everywhere I looked were memories of our sweet Zach. The day we traveled to come home, was the one year mark that Dr. Blaney told us that Zach didn't qualify for anymore studies and it was time to go home. Talk about a really hard day. This was August 4th and then the 5th was Samantha's 15th birthday. It is so hard to believe that my baby girl is 15 and will be a sophomore in high school. Her birthday was okay. It was also my cousin Whitney's 17th Birthday so we had a family meal at the Pecos Diamond and then the girls went to the Fair dance.

Anthony is getting ready to start, yes it is hard to believe, the 7th grade again. Anthony just couldn't get himself back into the swing of things after Zach passed away and his grades really suffered. We felt like holding him back was the best solution. I just know he'll do so much better this year. Sam has decided that she wants me to home school her so I have been gathering information on it. If anyone knows anything about it please inform me. She just doesn't feel like she can handle going back into public schools. Besides it will give us some great quality time together. I was planning on quitting my job to do this but I was going to see if I could work part time or if not give a 2 week notice. Well, as of yesterday, I am no longer employed. I have been on an emotional rollercoaster since Zach passed away. I went back to work 4 months after the fact and I really think I was still in a numb state of mind. It has been 10 1/2 months, almost a year, and I'm worse now than ever before. I miss my Zach so much. The pain I'm feeling is so unbearable. I cry constantly and I just feel so empty. I just can't function anymore. I wouldn't even get out of bed if it wasn't for Dimas and the kids. I have them all pretty worried. I just feel like I'm not there for them either. My family is falling apart and they need me but if I'm not coping very well how can I help? How can I make things better for them if I'm a basketcase myself. I just feel like I need to get myself better so that I can help them too. We all need to help each other. I'm worried that this will put more financial worries on Dimas but he really was okay with it and told me not to worry about it. He said we will be okay. I sure hope so. Please continue to keep our family in your prayers. We need all the help we can get!

In the meantime I am going to focus on getting some things done around here that I haven't been able to get to. My main focus though is getting my kids through school. They are and always will be my main priority in life (and Dimas too of course).

Please say a prayer for the families of little Celeste, and Issac too. They both have become angels in Heaven with Zach. Also please say a prayer for Cheyenne who is still battling this horrible beast of a tumor. She is doing a different Chemo because of progression and is feeling really tired. Please pray for all the Caringbridge families and children that are still battling and the ones who have become angels. We have got to find a cure!!!

Friday, July 2, 2004 5:13 PM CDT

I know it has been a while but it has been very difficult for me to write. I just don't have the words to express how I or anyone else feels. The 4th of July the past 2 years was spent in Houston, all of us together, as a family. Who would have thought that they would be our last. Zach loved popping firecrackers. His face would just light up like the night sky. He was so very patriotic. I can remember when 9/11 happened. He was so upset about it and wanted to go out and buy mini-flags for his whole class. He loved wearing red, white, and blue also. I remember his flag pants he wore all the time. We miss our Zach so much and it just seems to get harder and harder everyday. We have so many special memories with our baby.

Samantha is doing good. She got her braces put on and looks really cute. Anthony is doing good as well. We are starting to work on Sam's room so they are having to share and it gets a little too close for comfort sometimes but they get along for the most part. The kitchen is just about done. We are waiting on the countertop for the bar and just like some touch up things and we will be done. I'm oh so ready.
Dimas plays golf, golf, and more golf and that is about it.
I just work, go home, cook, clean and well you get the picture.

Chicarita and Cinnamon are doing great. Chicarita has allergy problems and her eye gets all yucky but we put drops in and they clear up. They are the bestest of friends and so fun to watch.

Please take time out of your busy lives and pray for Cheyenne, celeste, and Katherine, three of our caringbridge children. They all 3 have the same tumor as Zach and are experiencing tumor growth.

I want to wish all of you a very happy and safe 4th of July and I want to express to each of you to make beautiful memories with your families.

Sunday, June 6, 2004 9:41 AM CDT

Good morning everyone!

I haven't updated in a while we have been really busy around here. I finally sat down this morning and downloaded pictures of Zach's Memorial Site at his school, Yeso Elementary so please be sure and check them out.

School is out for the summer!! Yeah!!!!! My kids were so glad. Anthony is in Round Rock with his cousin Christopher and Kristina and Sam is here playing ball and hanging out with Mom. She has been quite the little helper at home and work. We are really proud of her. She ended the year with A's and B's and that really made us proud. Now Anthony, that is a different story we just won't get into.......
Dimas is busy playing golf and working all the time. (You notice which one I put first!) I play golf on Wednesday's with Dimas and other than that I am busy working and taking care of everyone else. Go Figure!

We still have the support group going and have changed it to Thursdays at 6:00pm so let me know if anyone is interested in going. It is in Carlsbad once a month. I believe it is going to be on the 17th this month. I will post more details when I get the flyers.

I think we just about have Zach all fixed up for the 4th of July. My Step-Mom Donna has put lots of things out there as well as Dimas and I. Not to mention the other things that others have taken to him. He is still loved and remembered by all and that makes us so proud. We miss the laughter and love he contributed to our family on a daily basis. He was such a special little boy. We love you Zach!!!!!

I don't have much news. But I want to encourage everyone to keep on visiting and signing the guestbook. We all love hearing from each of you and it gives us great pleasure knowing how many people care for Zach and our entire family. God Bless you all!

Friday, May 14, 2004 5:09 PM CDT

Friday, May 14th.....................
8 months ago we lost our precious baby boy.................
It is so hard to believe that we have been without him for 8 months. I'm going out to the cemetary today to take him some Americana stuff. Zach was so patriotic and with all that is going on right now with the war I feel like it is appropriate. My cousin Kris has gotten his orders and will be going to Iraq soon so please keep him in your prayers and his family too. This is my Aunt Dorletta's son.

2 weeks from today school will be out, thank goodness. This has been an awful year and hopefully next year will be better for Sam and Ant. It has been tough for all of us living without our Zach.

I want everyone to know that I have started playing golf with Dimas on Wednesday nights in the couples scramble. We tied for 3rd this Wednesday and won a whopping $3.00. I was excited though! I have never won money before. It is very relaxing though and not to mention I get to spend some quality time with my honey.

I took some pictures of the memorial site at Yeso and I will get them posted as soon as I can. I also took lots and lots of pictures of my sister in-laws graduation and will post them as well.

Chicarita and Cinnamon are doing great. We had to take Chicarita to the vet last week because her eye was red and swelled up really bad. They gave her some drops and it is back to normal. They weren't sure what it was but possibly an allergy to something. I hate when she gets sick. I don't think we could handle losing her.

We are headed back to Hobbs this weekend for our niece, Veronica's, graduation dance on Saturday. She is graduating from high school on May 24th. We are so proud of her. "Way to go Veronica!!!!!!! We love you very much!"

I hope each and everyone of you has a wonderful weekend and will spend some quality time with your family. You just never know..............................................

Bereavement Group Meeting
The Bereaved Parents of Carlsbad support group will meet on Tuesday, May 18th at 6:00 p.m., 1300 N. Canal Street, Lakeview Activity Center. This grief group has been formed in support of parents, grandparents or siblings who have experienced the death of a child, grandchild or sibling, through mutual aid, self-help and interactions with others who share this grief journey. For information, contact Vicki Barnes or Susan Owen at 1-877-922-7300. I have gone to 2 meetings and it is so wonderful to be amongst others that have the same or similar feelings that I do. I would also like to extend the invitation to Aunts, Uncles and cousins as well, because I know within my own family that they were all very close to Zach and have grieved just as much as we have.

Friday, May 7, 2004 5:35 PM CDT

Happy Graduation Day Nena!!!!! You did it sister. All that hard work and you accomplished it. Zach is looking down and smiling that beautiful smile at you. He wanted you to be a nurse so bad and you did it. I know he'll be walking with you tonight holding your hand as you accept that diploma. We are all so proud of you. We love you!!

All is well here in Artesia. What would have been Zach's class at school this year made me a Mother's Day gift. Mrs. Whaley, his teacher, called me last night and asked me to come by so the class could give it to me. It made me feel so special. Mother's Day has always had such special meaning to me. I always looked forward to the gifs the kids would make me at school. They meant so much. I have been dreading Sunday because I wouldn't get that specially made gift. They have finished the memorial site at the school. I will get some pictures of it this weekend and get them posted. It is beautiful. I didn't know they had finished it and when I went up there to get the gift the kids made me I had to walk by it and boy was that an emotional moment. I'm so glad that Zach has made such an impact on so many lives. Some of the kids in Mrs. Whaley's class were new and didn't have the pleasure of meeting Zach. Each one of them told me they wish they could have met him but they felt like they did know him through all of Zach's friends and classmates that did because Zach is a very big topic of conversation every day.

We are headed to Hobbs for Nena's graduation after work and then her big graduation dance tomorrow night. If any of you have time please let her know how proud you are of her accomplishing this milestone. She had a really hard time of it especially when we lost Zach but it is Zach's memory that kept her going. The memory of him telling her how much he wanted her to finish school so that she could be his nurse. I can hear him now yelling at graduation and saying way to go Tia/God Mom.

I'm crying now and have been all week. I'm just so emotional with all the graduations adn Mother's Day.
Have a good weekend everyone!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, April 19, 2004 5:36 PM CDT

Happy Monday everyone! I hope all of you will visit the photo page. Mom put the pages from the yearbook that Yeso dedicated to the memory of Zach on there. Lots of happy times...................................................

I really don't have much news. This past weekend the Artesia Little League had their opening day ceremonies. I'm sure most of you remember that Zach threw in the first pitch last year. Well this year they wanted to dedicate the 2004 baseball season to the memory of Zach. They presented a placque that will be hung up at the concession stand for all to see what a special boy Zach was to the Little League Organization. We were unable to attend so My Dad, Ronnie, and my Step Mom, Donna, Carissa, and Samantha attended. Samantha threw in the first pitch. My Step Mom took pictures so I'll post them at a later time. They will be presenting Dimas and I a placque like the one presented Saturday at one of the Little League games. It just makes me so proud that my baby had such an impact on the community. His memory does live on.........................

We would like to wish our nephew/God Son, Andrew a very Happy Birthday on Friday the 23rd of April. He will be 11 yrs. old. Andrew was born 5 months before Zach and they were the best of buds.

Dimas tied for second in a golf tournament held in Hobbs on Saturday. We are really proud of him. You know he might just be the next Tiger Woods!!!!!!!!!

It is time to go home for the day. I hope each of you enjoys the rest of the evening with your family. Thank you all for continuing to keep us in your prayers. Our family has a long way to go in our grief process.

Monday, April 5, 2004 5:32 PM CDT

Good afternoon everyone,
We have had some wonderful, much needed, rain around here all weekend. Zach's grass out at the cemetary should grow nice and green now. It did make a mess out of all his decorations so we'll have to get a bunch of new stuff for him when Easter is over.

We have a new addition to the family. Her name is Cinnamon and she is a dashund. She is red and Sam said she looked like a hot tamale so we decided on Cinnamon. She is very sweet and loves to snuggle. Her and Chicarita are getting along great. Chicarita needed someone to keep her company and play with her when we aren't home. She isn't to fond of Anthony yet. She barks at him. Samantha really likes her and has already gotten attached but she gets mad because Cinnamon follows me around everywhere. What can I say? I'm a very lovable person.

FYI-The Yeso yearbooks are in and sorry but they are $15.00 instead of $10.00. They were $10.00 last year or so I thought and I just assumed they would be this year. I have several reserved so if you want one please let me know.

It is Hit-A-Thon time of year so if anyone is interested this is our girl's softball league's one big fund raiser. You can pledge anything you want. Please help support our league so that we can buy new equipment, etc. for the upcoming years. Sam's softball team is also selling Krispy Kreme donuts at $7.50 a dozen to raise money to help pay for our new traveling uniforms. We are the Zach Maniac's and are blue and grey. If you are interested in either one please contact me at work 505-746-8643, by e-mail mherrera@technetmedical.com or at home 505-746-3976. I look forward to hearing from all of you.


Take care everyone and may God Bless each of you in some special way.

I HEAR EACH TEAR FALL ON THEIR FACE

My Mom and Dad don't know I'm watching them, but I'm watching them just the same. And I hear each tear fall on their face, at the very mention of my name.

They say it sounds like music to their ears and can be heard over a crowd.
Oh, I hear each tear fall on their face
when my name is said aloud.

I watch them stumble through each day
as they wish the day would end.
And I hear each tear fall on their face as they talk of me to their friends.

But there are few who truly understand.
Oh, this I've heard them proclaim.
And I hear each tear fall on their face, will my Mom and Dad ever be the same?

I know that their smiles light up a sky,
But I don't see those smiles today.
Oh, but I hear each tear fall on their face, their blue skies have turned to gray.

Oh I send to them my warmest hug
With the rays of the morning sun.
Then, I won't hear a tear fall on their face, for I shall erase them one by one.

Yes, my Mom and Dad don't know I'm watching them. But I'm watching them just the same. And if I hear a tear fall on their face, I'll just softly whisper their name!

Tuesday, March 23, 2004 5:22 PM CST

Good afternoon everyone. I hope everyone has been enjoying their first week of spring. Sam and Ant are on Spring Break this week and Dimas has them working hard at the house. We are finally putting in our new cabinets so they have been knocking down the old sheet rock today. The bright side to all of this is I don't have to cook for a while and I don't have to worry about cleaning the house because we have stuff everywhere. It will look so nice though when we finish.

Tonight is the first support group meeting in Carlsbad at the Lakeview Boat House at 7:00 pm. I am really looking forward to it. Dimas and Sam won't be able to make it due to softball practise but hopefully next time they'll be able to come. I am probably going to take Donna and Carissa with me. I hate to go any where alone.

We went out to the cemetery on Sunday and planted some grass seed and cleaned up Zach's grave. We put out all his Easter decorations that his Cop Grandma and Tia Corina sent him and it looks so pretty. I will try and get a picture taken of it and post it by Easter. Our computer is still on the blink and hopefully we'll have it fixed soon. I hate not being able to keep you updated more often with messages and new pictures.

Remember that if you want a Yeso Yearbook let me know soon so that I can tell them how many I'll need. They are $10.00 a piece so send me the money ASAP. I will contact the school tomorrow and find out for sure when they are going to come in.

Dimas is coaching Sam's softball team again this year and we have a whole new team except for 4 girls and so we have decided to have a whole new name and a whole new look. We are Grey/blue and sponsored by Select Milk Producers and our team name is ZACH MANIACS. Is that cute or what? It was Sam's idea and then we had to use Zach's favorite color blue of course. I will try and let everyone know when games are so that maybe some of you can come out and support our girls.

Time to go and head to Carlsbad. Thank you all for your support. We love each and every one of you!

Friday, March 12, 2004 5:28 PM CST

By looking at the pictures you can see that last night was a very special night. Thank you Aunt Theresa for making the beautiful quilt square for our sweet boy and for everyone that came to honor him. Dad, Mom, Nena, Audriana, Andrew, Bibi, Andres, Esteban, Aunt Theresa, Brian, Uncle Tim, Jacqueline, Whitney thank you all so much for being there with us. It means so much to us to have such a loving family and such great support during this difficult time. I would also like to thank the Does here in Artesia. They had their state convention last weekend and they raised another $118.00 for the Zachary Project at Lakeview Christian Hospice. Which by the way we are starting up our Parent Support Group. It is called BP of USA (Bereaved Parents of the United States of America). The first meeting will be on Tuesday March 23, 2004 at 7:00 pm. I will let you all know exactly where when I find out for sure. It will be held in Carlsbad and Grandparents, Parents, and Siblings are encouraged to attend. I hope this will help other parents, grandparents, and siblings like us that have lost a precious child, grandchild, or sibling. We are all looking forward to being able to communicate and get to know others like us that are going through the same kind of emotions that we are.

A little reminder: Yeso Yearbooks dedicated to Zach are $10.00 a piece. There will be a whole page about Zach. If you want one please let me know ASAP.

Please keep Amanda Ortega and Gabby Canales in your prayers. They are both young children here in Artesia that have been diagnosed with Cancer. Please keep on praying for a cure that we so desperately need.

Sunday, March 14, 2004....................................
6 months ago on this day, Jesus came and took our precious Zach by the hand and led him to Heaven where he received his angel wings from God. It is so hard to believe that our baby boy has been gone for 6 months already. We truly miss him more and more with each passing day. Last night we were driving to Carlsbad and went on the truck route to get there quicker. We went on a road with lots of hills. Dimas went down one fast and I could hear, as if he was there with us in the suburban, Zach's beautiful laugh saying "Do it again Dad! That is fun!" There are so many things that remind us of our sweet little boy. We love you Zachary Allen Herrera.

It is time to head home. I hope each of you have a wonderful weekend with your families and if you have the chance, go and see The Passion. What an experience for young and old. We saw it in Albuquerque and it is such an emotional, holy, experience. I can't even describe it.

May The Lord Bless Each And Everyone Of You!

Thursday, March 11, 2004 5:41 PM CST

I'm so sorry everyone. I know you all have been going crazy wondering what happened with Sam's biopsy. Everything went good and they don't feel like there is any cancer but they still sent off samples to Pathology and of course we won't know those for a week or so. They scraped out the tumors and injected them with a paste that will heal them and strengthen her bone (hopefully). She may have to do this several times but hopefully not. She is doing great and went back to school today. She is a little sore still and has crutches to use until the pain goes away. She has to go back in 6 weeks. I just want Texas Children's Hospital to know that we love and appreciate them so much after being in Albuquerque and having terrible nurses and the hospital was so nasty (Carrie Tingley).

It is time to go home so I'll update again tomorrow and let you all know how the memorial ceremony went.

Love to you all!

Thursday, March 4, 2004 5:22 PM CST

Well it is finally here ladies and gentlemen. Tomorrow we have to be in Albuquerque for Sam's pre-op appointment at 11:00am and then her biopsy is on Monday at 7:00 am. Please keep all of us in your prayers. I will let everyone know as soon as we know something on Monday or Tuesday. They will keep her over night so we won't be home till late Tuesday.

As for everything else we are all doing okay. I found out last week that they are dedicating the yearbook at Yeso Elementary (Zach's school) to Zach and will be doing a whole page about him. We felt so honored. I will post a picture of the page when I receive it. If anyone would like to purchase one they are usually $10.00 and you can send the money to me and I'll let them know.

Next Thursday is the unveiling of the memorial quilt for Lakeview Christian Hospice. They will have a ceremony and refreshments for the families of the ones who have passed away in the last year. Zachary's quilt square was done by my Aunt Theresa and looks so cute. I will take pictures and post them after the ceremony. My computer is down at home so it may be a while before I can post any new pictures. Please be patient with me.

I would like to take this time to wish a very special Happy Birthday to our nephew and cousin, Joshua Herrera, on his 16th birthday. We love you!

It is also my Uncle Tim's birthday so "Happy Birthday" to him (I promise not to tell how old!). We love you dearly!

It was also my Step-Mom's Birthday (12th to be exact, she is a Leap Year baby!)on February 29th. Happy Birthday Donna! We love you very much!

I'm going to get ready to go home. I want to thank all of you for the prayers and words of encouragement during yet another crisis in the Herrera home. I know that Sam has a very special Guardian Angel watching over her.

Love to you all..................................

Tuesday, February 24, 2004 5:46 PM CST

Well once again ladies and gentlemen the hospital called today and Sam's biopsy is canceled. The excuse this time was that one of the doctor's had to leave town unexpectedly and since the tumor is in a very difficult spot they need him to be there. So it is re-scheduled for Monday, March 8, 2004. We have to be there on Friday, March 5, 2004 for her pre-op appointment. We are very bummed about this. We thought finally we would have some answers come next week.

Our weather has been wonderful. It has been raining since yesterday afternoon around 4:00 pm. We so needed it.

March 11, 2004 is the Hospice Memorial Ceremony for all who have past away this year. Aunt Theresa made Zach's quilt square and they will attach it to a huge quilt that will be hung on the wall at Lakeview Christian Hospice. It turned out really cute. I will take pictures of it at the ceremony.

Well it is 5:00 pm and time to go home. I hope you all have a wonderful evening with your families.

Monday, February 16, 2004 5:26 PM CST

I hope all of you had a very romantic Valentine's Day. Dimas and I went out to dinner with some very special friends of ours and then we went to a Valentine's Dance at the Elks Lodge. We had a really good time dancing the night away. To end the evening we went to the cemetary and took Zach 6 red roses (Our friends Louis and Carrie that went out with us, won the drawing for a dozen red roses. She wanted to take 6 to her son Chris that died 2 years ago in a car accident and 6 to Zach. So very sweet!)Andy and Marcye some of our other dear friends wanted to take Zach and Chris some candles and even took Zach his own Valentine cookie (heart shaped of course). The ladies at the Elks Lodge also told us to take all the balloons out there so both boys got lots and lots of red and white balloons. We lit the candles and stood around talking and Dimas said a special prayer for Zach. It turned out to be a very special evening. I spent it with 2 of my most favorite Valentine's (you know Anthony isn't going to spend it with his Mom. That is un-cool!) Sam's Valentine Dance Friday night was cancelled and rescheduled for this Friday night (20th). Her and Anthony spent Valentine's at the famous Kennel Club (A dance place for teens at the bowling alley).

I recieved a very annoying call today from the surgical coordinator at Carrie Tingley about Sam's biopsy. You guessed it, CANCELLED AGAIN!!! Her biopsy is now scheduled for March 1st and pre-op will be on Friday the 27th. I'm so very upset about this. I'm so ready for some answers. So we are still at the I don't know anything yet stage. It is getting to be very irritating. Houston NEVER had this problem. Anytime something was scheduled for Zach it was done without any problems. UGHHHHH!!!!

As always we will keep everyone informed as to what we find out about the biopsy if Sam ever has it done. If they try and cancel again I'm going elsewhere.

There is a little girl named Gabby Canales here in Artesia that is in need of everyone's prayers. She was diagnosed with cancer in her hip and it has spread to her lungs and is a grade 4. She is in Albuquerque undergoing chemotherapy. She is 11 yrs. old and in the 5th grade. Please keep her and her family in your prayers. It is so hard to see so many children getting this dreadful disease.

It is time to go home now. I hope everyone has a wonderful evening with their families. God Bless each and everyone of you. Thank you so much for all your support! We couldn't get through all of this without our dear friends and family.

Tuesday, February 10, 2004 5:01 PM CST

I just wanted to quickly let everyone know that Sam's biopsy for this Friday the 13th of February has been cancelled. It has been rescheduled for Thursday February 26th at 7:30 am. The doctor called yesterday and the CT scanner that they were going to need to use to guide their way to the tumor is being moved so they had to cancel. At least they are being cautious. Anyways, we'll have to be there the day before for pre-op with the doctor.

Anthony had his Science Fair last week and he won an Honorable Mention ribbon for his project Burning Up. We are really proud of him especially since it was done in one night! Just like a kid though huh?

Sam is getting all excited about her Valentine Dance on Friday. She was pretty happy that she didn't have to miss it but then again she really wants to find out what is causing her so much pain. I will post some pictures of her in her dress and of Anthony and his project soon.

Valentine's Day is almost here and what a dreaded day the 14th always is for us. It is so hard to believe that it will be 5 months, almost half a year since Zachary earned his angel wings. It seems like only yesterday. We love you Zach and miss you, our precious little angel.

I wanted to let everyone know that Dimas and I are on a get fit kick. We are walking every night after work. It is so peaceful and gives us some alone time. We can actually talk about things without being interrupted by a phone or kids. I recommend it to everyone!

I guess that is all for now. Please keep Samantha in your prayers and I will keep everyone posted about the biopsy.

Love and hugs to you all!

Tuesday, February 3, 2004 5:43 PM CST

I just wanted to let everyone know that Sam's Biopsy is scheduled for Friday, Feruary 13, 2004 at 8:30 am. We have to be in Albuquerque on Wednesday, February 11, 2004 to meet with the doctor and then her surgery will be on Friday. Finally we will have some much needed answers. I'm getting nervous now but hopefully everything will turn out okay. Sam isn't real happy about missing her Valentine Dance at school but we need to get this taken care of. She has try-out that same week for JV softball so please wish her luck on making the team. She is worried that she won't be able to with her pain and all but maybe they'll take that into consideration. They have seen her play ball and boy is she an awesome 2nd baseman. She is really good at making those double plays and even made a triple last year.

Anthony is doing good. He has been a little under the weather lately (Samantha too) but this weather is so crazy I'm suprised all of us aren't.

Dimas is just working and plays a little golf here and there. Golf is what keeps him sane I think.

As for me, just working and doing what I do best, taking care of my family.

Please keep us all in your prayers once again and I will let you all know how everything turns out.

Love and hugs to all!!

Friday, January 30, 2004 5:48 PM CST

TGIF Everyone!
I just wanted to do a quick update on Samantha. We are going to have to do a Biopsy. The doctor should call by next week with the details. She is hurting quite a bit so hopefully it will be done soon.

We are all hanging in there. We are taking it one day at a time. We all miss Zach so much. I have some Valentine decorations to take out to my favorite Valentine this weekend. Zach loved Valentine's Day. He loved buying the Valentine cards and giving them to his friends and of course family. I remember last year he had his first sweetheart, Courtney Callaway, and they exchanged gifts. It was so sweet. Zach was such a loving person.

I hope everyone has a great Super Bowl Weekend and hopefully we'll all win lots of money!!!

Thursday, January 22, 2004 7:38 AM CST

Good morning everyone! Boy, it is amazing how much energy you have and how fast you can get ready when you exercise. I have some time before everyone else gets up so I thought I better update you on Samantha's appointment in Albuquerque. The doctor looked at all of Sam's scans and x-ray's, did a lot of hmmmming, and then ordered more x-ray's. She began by telling us that these tumors are rare and she feels like by looking at both (pelvis and ankle) that they are the same type of tumor. She kept all scans and wants to meet with her team of doctors (including a cancer doctor) and have them review them as well to see what course of action to take. She says that if they all agree that they are fibrous tumors then they will put her on some medication (experimental) that they have been using on elderly people to build up their bones and make them stronger. She says they have been trying it on children and it has been working really well. She said this will help with Sam's pain because the reason she is having so much pain is because the bone is so weak in both areas. She would take this medication once a week but before beginning it she would have to take a bone density test. She would also have to be re-scanned every 3 months to watch it. But, it all depends on what all the other doctors tell her. We should find out the first part of next week. If they don't all agree then they'll do a biopsy and go from there, possibly remove the tumors. At this point though, Dimas and I are kind of leaning towards doing a biopsy anyways for peace of mind. Sam doesn't like the idea but hey, with what happened to Zach and all, it's better to be safe than sorry. I will let you all know as soon as we find out for sure what is going to take place.

We have all been busy with work and school. Anthony has been sick with a very bad cough but that is all. Report cards weren't very good so now we are trying to work on getting their grades brought up. Sam's wasn't too bad but Anthony's was awful. It's not because he doesn't know how to do the work it is just that he doesn't want to do it period. He just doesn't care anymore which I can understand where he is coming from because Dimas and I both have felt that way about alot of things. We miss Zach more and more and it seems to get harder and harder to keep trucking along. I don't think it is ever going to get easier. Zach was such a big part of our lives and this house just feels so empty without the laughter and joy he brought to it. When we were sad and feeling blue Zach always knew just what to do to cheer us up, to make things better. I find myself feeling so lonely on the weekends when Dimas is out playing golf and the kids are out and about with their friends. It was always me and Zach for as long as I can remember. He was always the one who stayed home so that I wouldn't be alone. He would help clean or we would play UNO or some other board game. At times, we would just lay around and watch movies and eat popcorn and my favorite part, snuggle. Zach loved to snuggle. That is something else that is really hard to get used to. He slept with me and Dimas for the past year and a half. I was always stuck in the middle. I find myself reaching over to cuddle with him and there is nothing there...........Anyways, there are so many things that each of us misses about Zach and that is what makes it so hard to cope. We are going to grief counceling now so hopefully that will help some.

I better get everyone out of bed and ready for the day. Thank you all for your prayers for Sam and for all of us. We still have a long grieving road ahead of us and it helps to know that we have such wonderful family and friends to help us on our journey.

Love and Blessings to you all!

Thursday, January 15, 2004 7:57 AM CST

Good morning everyone. It's Thursday! Tomorrow is Friday! Now that I'm back to work I can look forward to Friday's again. Things are going pretty well. It has been very overwhelming though. I have been an emotional wreck. Hopefully it will get better soon. It has been a really hard step for me. I felt like I was closing a chapter of my life and starting another. I was closing a chapter I'm just not ready to close. I miss my Zach more and more everyday. We all do. We have all started grief counceling so hopefully that will help some. At least help us to learn how to cope. Because believe me we aren't coping at all right now. The pain is becoming unbearable.

Yesterday especially was a very emotional day. 4 months....
I can't believe it has been 4 months. It seems like yesterday that my baby left us. The more time that passes by it seems to get harder and harder and we miss him more and more.

Sam's doctor appt. in Albuquerque is Tuesday the 20th of January. We are seeing a Dr. Elizabeth Szalay at Carrie Tingley Hospital. They are supposed to have a really good pediatric orthopedic dept. there. Our appt. is that morning at 10:40 so be praying for us and we will let everyone know what is going on after the visit.

I'm going to go and cook some breakfast for my family before I head off to work. Please keep checking the web page and leaving messages. We all look forward to all the words of encouragement from our family and friends.

Love and hugs to all!

Wednesday, January 7, 2004 1:32 PM CST

Hello everyone!

I thought I'd better update before my Mom hunts me down so here goes................

We took Sam to Lubbock and they did an MRI and a bone scan and then we met with the doctor after all that. I wasn't impressed at all. First he checked her for a back injury and that wasn't why we were there. Finally he looked at the bone scan and said we needed to do an x-ray of her ankle because they found a cyst like tumor while doing the bone scan. Then he brought in the x-ray he took and the x-ray we took in Artesia and showed us the tumor in her pelvic area (very odd shaped) and the one in her ankle. He said the one in her ankle is common with athletes but he isn't sure why she has the one in her pelvis area but he doesn't think it is malignant and that we shouldn't worry about it BUT (there is always a but) this isn't his area of expertise (thought we were going to the best) and that he could send us to a pediatric (thought he was one) orthopedic surgeon in Dallas in February that specializes in this sort of thing. NOT! Then he said we really could just wait and see for 6 months how things go (symptoms, etc.) and x-ray her again and see if it has grown any or not. I DON'T THINK SO! Dimas went on to tell him that we wouldn't wait 6 months and that we wouldn't wait until February. We just buried our 9 yr. old son with a brain tumor and we are not taking any chances. Even if it is benign maybe it doesn't need to be there. We don't know and we need direct answers. We need someone who does know. He told us he understood and we told him Dallas is way too far for us to go right now and that we will find someone in Albuquerque so if anyone out there knows a good one let me know. I have a call in to Dr. Heideman at UNM (he was Zach's doctor in between visits to Houston) so that maybe he can refer me to someone who can help us find out what is wrong with our baby girl (not really a baby is she being 14 and all but she is my baby, my first born). Anyways that is where we stand and as soon as I get appointments set up in Albuquerque I'll let everyone know.

Tomorrow will be a new beginning for me. I am finally going back to work after about 18 months of not being employed. I'm rather nervous but I think I really need this personally and financially of course. I'm going back to Tech Net Medical where I worked when Zach was diagnosed and believe me I am going to work for some really awesome people. They really helped us during Zach's illness and passing and we appreciate it more than they'll ever know. I worry about Chicarita being here all day by herself but I'm sure she'll adjust. She has no choice I guess. The kids aren't really that excited about me working (they can't call me when they forget something for school all the time, or to bring them something for their headaches, etc.) but I'm sure they'll adjust too. I am hoping to get all of us into some counceling. We are all just having a really hard time coping and dealing with Zach's death and not to mention now the problems with Sam. I'm sure we'll get through it all, it just will take some time...........

I guess that is all for now. I better start getting things in order before I start my big job tomorrow. I love you all and appreciate all the kind words of encouragement and most of all the prayers during this difficult time for all of us.

Hugs,
Misti

Wednesday, December 31, 2003 10:44 AM CST

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!!

It is very hard to end 2003 knowing our baby won't be going into 2004 with us. For once we are not in a celebrating mood. We will probably have a quiet evening at home surrounded by our beautiful memories of our precious little boy. I hope everyone of you has a wonderful evening and please be safe. NO DRINKING AND DRIVING! And don't forget to eat your black eyed peas for good luck in 2004.

Now, I need to ask everyone to start up that prayer chain once again. My daugher Samantha has had back problems for over a year now we figured caused by her sports. We would take her to the chiropractor and she would pop her back into place and she would be fine. Well, this stopped helping and Sam was starting to hurt more. We took her to the doctor and they did x-rays. We were called into the doctors office yesterday and heard words we have heard before " There is a spot on the x-ray that shouldn't be there. We don't know what it is so we need to send her to an orthopedic surgeon for further testing and so forth." I was numb. I couldn't speak. Not again. Sam's appointment for her MRI, bone scan, and visit with the doctor is on Monday in Lubbock. We are going to go crazy between now and then worrying ourselves sick. I have read the radiology report and it sounds very scary. I will keep all of you posted.

Please pray for our family once again......

Monday, December 22, 2003 9:05 AM CST

'Twas the Night Before Christmas'

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse; The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, but some childrens stockings were missing this year.

Children were nestled all snug in their beds, some parents cling to memories dancing in their heads; These children all fought their battles so strong, Why oh why God, did disease have to come along?

Whether Cancer, Leukemia, Brain Tumors or AIDS, these children all fought for each precious day; From needles to transplants to losing their hair, these angels still found a smile to share.

Their memories live on...these precious little ones, disease has taken so many of our daughters and sons, children should not have to go through this fear...Please oh please God...can you send us a cure?

Star after star after star they came...Heavenly Lights display each precious name. Each angel a story, a family forever changed...As we read each childs star...name after name...

Zachary and Nolan, Jeni and Davin; There's Noelle and Nicholas, Victoria, and Harris; Their stories all told, and memories held dear...These children are spending Christmas in Heaven this year.

The sky is a twinkling, their stars sure do shine, so many hearts touched, especially mine; A bundle of joy...missed so sadly will be. Their memories will continue on....for all to see.

Their eyes how they twinkled, their smiles were so bright, just like thier stars that now light up our night, shattered lives, futures changed, a puzzle incomplete, the meaning of life...these parents now seek.
God went right to work and spoke not a word. These children are now...as free as a bird; God brings comfort and strength and has plenty to share, the burdens will be eased with His loving care.

God is caring and strong, and needed so much, and they smile in God's presence...so graciously touched; God filled each stocking with hope...faith....and love, God blessed us all...and back to Heaven He rose.

Please hold us all close Father...let us feel your love... take care of the children up in Heaven above; Send each parents love to their angel in the sky, until we are reunited in Heaven...and can understand why.

Childhood disease is so present today, we can't ignore it...we must find a way...to cure these diseases too many to name, please pray for a cure...in Jesus's name.

Disease can happen anytime...anywhere...to anyone; We must not quit until the battles all won! Lets make 2004 the year...the year for a cure.


Please keep each and every child going through this awful disease we call cancer in your prayers and their families too. We must find a cure!

There are so many mommy's and daddy's too that are hurting during this holiday season, longing to be with their precious child that has gone to Heaven. Please pray for them. Pray for strength to get them through all the first of firsts without their son or daughter. We are among these mommy's and daddy's. Pray for us as well.

Merry Christmas to you all and may you all have a "Healthy" New Year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Remember to check out the pictures of Zach's headstone. It is our tribute to a wonderful little boy loved by all who knew him.

Tomorrow December 23, 2003 is my Mom's birthday. Please take time out of your day to wish her a happy birthday. She is one great lady! Happy Birthday Mommy! We love you so much!

Merry Christmas my sweet little angel. Mommy, Daddy, Bubba, Sister, and Chicarita miss you so much. The pain is so unbearable but we know that you are up in Heaven shining down on us and taking care of us like you always have. We will always cherish all the beautiful memories we made with you for the nine years you were with us. I know that Christmas was one of your favorite holidays and you would be wrapping up all your special gifts for everyone. We will miss those gifts most of all. You loved parties and big family get togethers and I know that you are planning one big shin-dig for Jesus with all of your new angel friends and family. We love you so much baby boy! Until we are together again.............................

Friday, December 19, 2003 2:38 PM CST

The day has finally arrived!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Zach's headstone was delivered at 10:00 am and by noon was finished. It is so beautiful! Slaton Monument did a wonderful job. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts. I added pictures so don't forget to check them out.

I hope everyone has finished their Christmas shopping. I think I'm calling it done. It has really been hard to shop but I did it. To me that is progress. Today the kids get out of school for the next 2 weeks. They have been busy all week with finals. Keep your fingers crossed! They are looking forward to a break from school.

What a day this has been! First, when I got to the cemetary, I left my car running and when the monument people got there I put Chicarita in the suburban so she wouldn't get ran over. Well Chicarita locked the doors with the car running and the heater on. I was panicking! But luck has it that my darling husband was able to open it. WHEW! I was so worried. Then, my little sister, Carissa, broke her finger in weightlifting this morning. Please keep her in your prayers. I know she is in a lot of pain. Also, our good friends Andy and Marcye had to rush to Lubbock last night because her son Seth totaled his car. As of this morning he is doing okay. I think he knocked out some teeth and broke his cheekbone. He was very lucky. Please keep him and their family in your prayers also.

Remembering

Go ahead and mention my child,
the one that died, you know.
Don't worry about hurting me further
the depth of my pain doesn't show.

Don't worry about making me cry
I'm already crying inside.
Help me to heal by releasing
the tears that I try to hide.

I'm hurt when you just keep silent
pretending it doesn't exist.
I'd rather you mention my child
knowing that he has been missed.

You asked me how I'm doing.
I say "pretty good" or "fine."
But healing is something on-going,
I feel it will take a lifetime.


Take care everyone and "May Your Days Be Merry and Bright!"

Sunday, December 14, 2003 11:58 AM CST

Well I know you are all aware of what today is. It is so hard to believe that it has been 3 months since Zach received his angel wings. We love and miss you sweet baby boy. You will be forever in our hearts...................

We found out Friday that this next Thursday or Friday the monument company should be bringing Zach's headstone. It is going to be so beautiful. A beautiful piece of work to memorialize where our sweet little boy was laid to rest. I will post pictures for all to see.

Be sure and check out the new photos I added. They are of Zach's gravesite all decorated for the holiday season.

We are all struggling from day to day trying to get through the holidays. It just isn't the same. Sam and Ant tell us that it doesn't seem like Christmas without Zach here. We get through each day by remembering special memories of our dear sweet Zach. Dimas and Ant just left to go Pheasant and Quail hunting before the Cowboys play. Zach would have gone too. I'm glad that Dimas and Ant are spending this time together. I think it is good for the both of them.

We all feel so much closer to Zach when we do things that Zach enjoyed doing. I made banana nut bread last night...............Zach loved my banana nut bread. He also loved helping me make candy and our famous Christmas cookies that we would make every Christmas Eve and stay up late decorating them. We would have frosting and sprinkles EVERYWHERE! I sure do miss my little helper.................
Maybe I can talk Sam and Ant into helping me this year.

Here is a poem that was sent to me from Mom and then again from a friend on my braintumor list.

I'm Spending Christmas with Jesus This Year

I see the countless Christmas Trees
Around the world below,
With tiny lights like Heaven's stars,
Reflecting on the snow.

The sight is so spectacular,
Please wipe away that tear.
For I'm spending Christmas
With Jesus Christ this year.

I hear the many Christmas songs,
That people hold so dear,
But the sounds of music can't compare
With the Christmas Choir up here.

For I have no words to tell you,
The joy their voices bring.
For it's beyond the description
To hear an angel sing.

I can't tell you of the splendor,
Or the peace here in this place.
Can you just imagine Christmas
With the Savior, face to face?

I'll ask him to light your spirit,
As I tell him of your love.
So then pray one for another
As you lift your eyes above.

Please let your hearts be joyful
And let your spirit sing!
For I'm spending Christmas in heaven
And I'm walking with the King.

It still isn't the same though...........We all wish we were spending Christmas with our Zach. Someday though.......
Someday we will be reunited with our precious son, brother, grandson, Godson, nephew and friend. What a glorious day that will be.

Wednesday, December 10, 2003 10:59 AM CST

Good morning everyone!
It has been a while since I last updated but with the holidays here my days are really tough. They are tough for all of us. Zach loved Christmas time and was always singing Christmas Carols (Rudolph, Grandma Got Ran Over By A Reindeer, and Jingle Bells, Bat Man Smells, etc.). He also loved shopping for everyone and the one thing me, Dimas and the kids remember most are all the pictures he would color for us and wrap them and put them under the tree. It always looked like we had a ton of gifts. We will miss those special gifts the most. Sam also reminded me of the time they wrapped up their own stuff to give to each other. Sam was missing a sandal for the longest time and then on Christmas morning she opened her gift from Zach and there was her Sandal. We have such wonderful memories of our Zach.

Mom and I went to Roswell yesterday so that I could help her shop for my family and all we came home with were gifts for Zach. We bought decorations, lights, and ornaments. He'll have the most decorated grave in the cemetary. But that's our Zach. He always stood out from the rest.

I hope everyone has stayed healthy and haven't gotten that awful flu that is going around. Sam, Ant and Dimas have had colds but that is about it. They have been staying busy with basketball and are doing really well. Dimas just works and then comes home and works on his new toy (Bronco for hunting) and I'm just here being mom, wife, nurse, cook, maid, etc. I love it though. I wouldn't have it any other way. I have also started subbing at the daycare I used to work at. It is hard but it gets me out of the house for a while. I have always loved being around children. Children seem to make the world seem so much brighter.

Anthony celebrated his 13th Birthday on Saturday Dec. 6th. Yes, I have 2 teenagers now. Lord help me!! We celebrated in Hobbs, NM and went to Chili's (his favorite place to eat until they sang to him). He was so embarrassed! Thank you to all who sent him or gave him a gift. He enjoyed them all.

I finally learned how to download the picures from our new digital camera after working at it all morning so I will be putting new pictures on the web page more often. I hope you enjoy them. Take care my friends and family. Until next time..........



Just a little note:
Please keep my friend Kristina in your prayers. She lost her husband this morning to a brain tumor. Please also keep my friends, Michelle, Elizabeth, Lorraine, and the countless others who have lost a child to this dreadful disease and pray for the many others that are just beginning their journey with a brain tumor or have been going through it for a while. Let us all pray for a cure.

Sunday, November 30, 2003 10:44 PM CST

I hope all of you had a very Happy Thanksgiving holiday with friends and family.

We really had a good time on our little vacation. We got to spend some time with our good friends Jack and Glenda Wheeler in Possum Kingdom and then we spent some time with Dimas' sister Bibi and husband Cesar and our niece and nephews in Round Rock. Dimas was sick Sunday - Wednesday so we didn't get to do too much. Wednesday we headed to Houston and met with Dr. Blaney, Elizabeth, and the nurses in the GCRC where Zach was treated. It was so good to see all of them again. They will forever hold a special place in our hearts. Then we headed to Spring and spent the rest of the holiday there. Thursday we had lots of good food and then that night we had hair night and my Aunt Dorletta hi-lighted mine and Samantha's hair. Friday, we all got up and were out the door by 5:30 am hitting all the after Thanksgiving sales. What a mad house the stores were. We had a good time though and shopped for 12 hours straight. I didn't buy much just enjoyed being with my aunt and cousins. Saturday we got up and left by 10:00 am and had to head back to Round Rock to pick up our trailer and 2 trees that they bought for Zach. We planted one in our backyard and the other one in the front yard. We are going to buy a plaque to put on the big tree in the backyard in memory of Zach. They are beautiful trees. We finally got home last night around 11:00 pm. It is so good to be home.

I will post pictures of our trip as soon as I download them to the computer but in the meantime I would like to post pictures of Zach's curio cabinet.

Take care everyone and thank you for keeping us in your prayers.

Wednesday, November 19, 2003 11:36 PM CST

I don't know about anyone else, but what an emotional weekend.

Everything turned out great for Zach's 10th Birthday. The balloon ceremony, candle ceremony, and the poem reading and testimonials were great. Not a dry eye around. I want to thank our family for being with us on this very difficult day. We couldn't have gotten through it without you. My sister in-law, Nena, bought a beautiful cake for the occasion. It was decorated with 2 of Zach's pictures. No one could cut it! We cut around the border. I was going to freeze it but then I decided that Zach would have wanted his class to have some of his Birthday cake so I took it to Mrs. Whaley's 4th grade class at Yeso Elementary. The students, all of Zach's friends, were so excited and each one gave me a hug. I had to get out of there fast! The tears were coming.

We have one very important day of celebration behind us and it is on to Thanksgiving. We will be heading out for our week long (10 day I should say)venture. First we are going to Possum Kingdom to see some very special people in Dimas' life and then it is on to Austin to see Dimas' sister, Bibi, and her family. Then we will be heading to Houston on Tuesday morning and going to Texas Children's Hospital to see some very special doctor's and nurses and then it is on to Spring, TX where we will spend Thanksgiving with my Aunt Dorletta and family. (Before we had left Houston for the last time, Zach had told my Aunt that we would be there for Thanksgiving so we are carrying out Zach's wishes. Family meant so much to him. My Uncle Tim and family will be going too on Wednesday. Friday morning we will venture on to South Texas where we will stay with some very good friends of ours Rudy, Norma, and their family. Sunday we will start home, stop in Poteet, TX to see some more of Dimas' family and then head on home stopping in Austin to pick up two trees that Zach's Tio Cesar bought for him for us to plant in our backyard. We have no trees back there so this will be a very nice addition to our yard. Thanks Cesar!

Sam had her first basketball game on Monday and they lost. I promise to get some pictures made but Monday was not a good game to take pictures of. Anthony starts when we get back after the Thanksgiving holiday.

I should go now. I need my beauty sleep! Ha-Ha!! I better sleep for hundreds and thousands of years. Take care everyone and May the Lord Bless you in many ways.

Friday, November 14, 2003 11:10 PM CST

November 14, 2003~ It was 2 months ago today, September 14, 2003, that our son Zach received his angel wings.

November 15, 1993~ On this day, 10 years ago, our precious son Zachary Allen Herrera was born.

I'm not sure what to say................today and tomorrow are going to be so hard. My baby would have been 10 years old. Wow! We are all missing him terribly. He would have been getting so excited about his party. We are having a birthday celebration.............a celebration of Zach's life and the impact it had on EVERYONE. Zach loved his "Tio Bear's (Smokey) BBQ so he is going to come and cook it and we'll even have cake. At 2:00 pm we are all meeting at the cemetary and letting go of balloons in Zach's memory then that night around 7:00 pm we are going to go back to the cemetary and have a candlelight ceremony and maybe even some of you will say a few words about our little hero. Then if the sky is clear we want to go somewhere where there are no trees so that we can look through the telescope and find Zach's stars. He has 2 of them. His "Tio Bear" got one for him and our dear friends, Ray, Carmen, Santana, and Sahara Chavez, got him the other.

I'm gonna go for now. I'm getting pretty sleepy. Take care everyone and may God Bless you all.

Wednesday, November 5, 2003 6:07 PM CST

Well hello everyone.

I hope all is well with each and everyone of you. We are doing okay I guess. We miss Zach more and more everyday and it is especially getting hard knowing his birthday, Thanksgiving, and Christmas are right around the corner. The holidays just aren't going to be the same. We intend to do something really special for Zach's birthday on the 15th of November just don't know what. If any of you have suggestions please let me know. Zach just loved birthdays, especially his own, and I know he would be planning a big 'ole party. We do plan on inviting the WHOLE family to come over and hopefully our friends will too. Zach loved big birthday parties with lots of family and friends around.

Monday afternoon, Dimas went out to the cemetary and someone had taken Zach's butterflies, dragonflies, and his hulk and spiderman ornaments that I had put out there for him. We were so upset. How could anyone be so cold and cruel. They tried to take his wooden bear we have out there for him but we had it so stuck in the ground that they couldn't get it loose. I hope whomever took them knows that Zach will haunt them now. I can see him telling them off now. I just hope they had a really good reason for taking them. Which I'm sure they didn't.

Dimas went hunting this morning with his friend and called me around noon and he had shot an 8 pointer. He was so excited. He said he asked Zach to lead him to the deer and to help him get one (this is his first one) and he did. Zach would have been so proud of his dad. Way to go babe! Anthony was excited too and is hoping he'll get one next week when he goes. Now I get to have a deer mounted in my den. Yeah!

Sam and Anthony have been sick with a stomach virus. Sam went back to school today and hopefully Anthony will go back tomorrow. Sam made the basketball team. I don't know which team (A or B) yet but at least she was one of the 24 chosen. There will be 12 girls on each team. Anthony started basketball Monday and he is pretty excited about it. They just keep reminding us they need basketball shoes. It never ends! They both have been missing Zach and deal with it so differently. Anthony just stays in his room and is quiet and Sam takes her anger out on everyone around her.

I got a call from Michael Lavan today. He was the research nurse at Texas Children's Hospital. He was also known as Uncle Mike. He was calling to tell me that he would no longer be at Texas Children's Hospital in Houston. He is taking a position at Memorial Hermann Hospital which is right down the street. He will be the liver coordinator for the transplant team. We want to wish him the best of luck. He is a wonderful person and Memorial Hermann Hospital is very lucky to be getting him.

I better go for now and cook some supper. My men will be starving if I don't. Take care everyone and God bless you all!

Zachary Herrera Memorial fund is set up

Contributions for the Zachary Herrera Memorial will be accepted in the Yeso Elementary School office the week of Nov. 10-14. Donations will be used for a memorial area in front of the school and to begin the Zachary Herrera Memorial Scholarship Fund.

For more information, contact Yeso Elementary School, 505-748-2755.

Monday, October 27, 2003 11:53 AM MST

Good morning everyone (or rather afternoon),

I know it has been a while since I last wrote but I have been having a really hard time dealing with Zach's death and so I haven't really known what to write about. I miss Zach so much and I spend alot of time at the cemetary. We are still working on his headstone but I promise to take pictures and post them as soon as it comes in. Dimas and I cleaned out our storage building last week and went through pictures. Boy was that hard. One thing we noticed was that in most of the pictures, Zach was smiling or being silly. He was hardly ever mad. That boy had the most beautiful laugh. And oh those dimples.

.l;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; (That is Chicarita saying hello to everyone). The kids are doing good and considering everything they have been through the last month and a half their grades were pretty good. Anthony is finished with football and they will both be starting basketball. Sam has try-outs Wednesday and Thursday. Good luck Sam! Anyways, Dimas is keeping himself busy working and I try and keep myself busy here at home. We are trying to get the "Zachary Project" started so I'm pretty busy with that. For those of you who don't know Lakeview Christian Hospice is helping us to start a "Zachary Project." This will involve a support group for grieving parents and siblings and hopefully we will be able to help other families with finances during their childs illness and we would also like to make terminally ill children's dreams come true. You know Make-A-Wish grants one wish, 9 yr. old little boys/girls don't just have one wish. They have many. Please pray for us that we can get this up and running and help other children and families going through what we just went through the past year and a half. Zach was a very caring little boy and he would want us to help others. We want everyone that didn't know Zach to know who he was.

We found a curio cabinet in Hobbs, NM and it was delivered last week. I spent Wednesday night and Thursday, putting Zach's "special" things in it. It is beautiful. When Mom comes back with her digital camera I will take a picture and post it.

Last Wednesday I had to go to Zach's school. They are having a book drive and they posted a memorium for Zach. They had me pick out several of Zach's favorite books and people could purchase them for their library in memory of Zach. I bought one of his favorites, a new one from the Magic Treehouse series. It is a hardback book. One he never got to read. He had so many of those books. They also started a Zachary Herrera memorial committee. They are going to set up a memorial in front of the school (a bench or something) in memory of Zach. I'll let you all know more details when I find out. They also are setting up a Zach Herrera Memorial Scholarship Fund that will go to someone in his class when they graduate. All of these things truly shows how much an impact our baby had on others.

I'm going to end on that note. God Bless all of you and please continue to write in the guestbook. We really enjoy reading all of your entries.

Tuesday, October 14, 2003 0:23 AM CDT

Dear family and friends,

One month ago today, at 2:45 am, our sweet baby boy, Zach, received his angel wings. And what a special angel he is! I would like to ask everyone to take a moment and say a prayer for Zach and if possible light a candle for him. We are also going to wear the shirts we had made in memory of him. Dimas and I are planning on lighting candles at exactly 2:45 am. Today has really been hard for all of us. It is so hard to believe that it has already been a month. It seems like it was only yesterday.

In Lubbock this weekend we found Zach's headstone so I will post pictures as soon as we get it. It is so perfect for him.

Love to you all!

Friday, October 10, 2003 11:44 AM CDT

Hello everyone,

It is Homecoming here and all I can think about is how excited Zach would have been getting to buy the things the cheerleaders would be selling at his school, the parade, and of course the football game. Oh I miss him so!

Anthony had a game last night and they tied 8-8. He had 5 or 6 tackles. One time he was on the bottom of a big dog pile and boy was I nervous. But, my little tough guy jumped right back up. Be sure and check out the new pictures of him playing. At the game there was a kid named Zachary and that is all I kept hearing was "Zach throw the ball." "Zach come over here." "Zach" this and "Zach" that. We had to move to the other end of the field so that we wouldn't here it. Zach would have been so proud of his Bubba. Although he wouldn't have liked Anthony's jersey. They are grey and Zach hated grey.

We put some solar powered lights around Zach's grave. It was really dark out at the cemetary at night and I don't want him completely in the dark, not to mention when we go out there in the dark it is so hard to find. I drove out there one night and couldn't find it and I got really upset. Now that won't happen. It looks really pretty. I just can't wait till we find the right headstone. Then it will look really pretty. We also got his little bear we bought for him in Ruidoso put out there. It looks so cute. Now Zach isn't alone.

We are headed to Lubbock tonight after the football game. We are going headstone and curio cabinet shopping and then to the Tech game Saturday night. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend! God Bless you all!

Monday, October 6, 2003 11:50 AM CDT

I just wanted to give everyone an update really quick this morning.

I was feeling really lonely and it makes me feel surrounded by our family and friends when I read the guestbook. Zach was so loved by everybody, even the one's who never met him in person. He had such an impact on each and everyone of us. It is hard to understand why God took our Zach but I guess he was in need of a truly special angel.

When we were in Hobbs this weekend we looked at more headstones. We just haven't found "The one" yet. Well, I take that back. We did find "The one" this weekend but I don't think our checkbook will allow for it. We want Zach's headstone to be special just like him so we are going to look in Lubbock this weekend. Speaking of Lubbock, "How 'bout those Raiders!" They did such an awesome job. And of course the deep snapper is the best there is. He is my cousin, Jay Holland #54. We will be going and watching them this weekend. We are so excited. Oh and of course, "How 'bout those Cowboys!" They did awesome too. Zach was probably watching from up above with a big grin from ear to ear.

I have posted 1 new picture. It is of Dimas after he got his new tattoo. Be sure and check it out. It is truly a work of art.

That is all the news I have for now. I will write more when I have more to tell. Thank you all for keeping up the guestbook. It really means so much to read all of your entry's each day. God bless you all!

Tuesday, September 30, 2003 2:49 PM CDT

Hi everybody,
I just wanted to give you all an update. We are all doing okay. Dimas is back at work and the kids are in school, finally getting all their make-up work finished up. Sam is going to anger management classes at the school. I wouldn't really call it "anger management". It is really a support group for all the kids in her school who have lost a family member this year. She seems to like it. I hope it helps. Anthony just devotes his time to football. He is really loving it. His next game is a week from this Thursday at 3:45 pm. Me and Chicarita just hang out at home all day. I hate going anywhere. I like being surrounded by all of Zach's things. It makes me feel closer to him. I'm also working on getting the house cleaned up from all the chaos the past several weeks. I'm finally getting all the plants we received put in their own special places throughout the house. I'm also in the process of getting all the thank-you cards done. I had to order more this morning.

Friday, I did make it to the balloon ceremony at Yeso Elementary. It was beautiful and so moving. The 4th grade students, teachers, and staff let go of purple and turquoise balloons (their school colors)in memory of our Zach. The amazing thing was that instead of all the balloons going every which way, they all went up together, formed a heart (it appeared that way), and went straight up together until we couldn't see them no more. I believe that Zachary got his balloons and had a blast playing with them. He probably shared them with all the other little angels up in Heaven.

I'm going to go for now. I need to get things done before it's time to go pick up kids. My love to you all and many thanks for all the prayers and kind things each of you have done for us. God Bless you all!

Friday, September 26, 2003 1:49 PM CDT

TGIF Everyone!

Boy, does it get lonely around here. I am so used to being with Zach 24/7 that I'm having a really hard time being alone during the day. I try to do things to keep me busy but everything I seem to do makes me think about my precious baby and I just break down and cry. I can't even play with Chicarita without crying. We all miss him more and more everyday. Sometimes I hear him calling my name and I go and look for him and he isn't there.

Our dear friend Jasmine (Lilly's, our friend who lost her battle with cancer, daughter) had her baby Tuesday morning at 10:30. She was at home the night before having contractions and everytime she would finally fall asleep she would dream about her Mom and Zach. Well, when she finally decided it was time to go to the hospital (She had already gone to the hospital on Thursday and then again on Sunday) she put on Zachary's memorial shirt and when they got to the hospital in Roswell they checked her and said yes this is it. Zachary once again was watching over someone special to him and to us. Jasmine had a baby girl and she is beautiful. Congratulations Jasmine! We love you!

Yesterday was Anthony's first football game. He was the smallest guy out there but he sure was tough when he made that tackle. His team won 16-14. Way to go Ant!! Way to go Bulldogs(grey team)!

Today at 3:00 pm the 4th grade at Zach's school, Yeso Elementary, will be letting go of balloons in memory of Zach. I'm going to try and be there to take pictures. Zachary made such an impression on the lives of so many. He truly was a hero! We love you Zach!

Monday, September 22, 2003 10:11 PM CDT

Hello everyone,

Boy, it's hard to believe that it has been a week already. It still doesn't seem real. I keep wishing I could wake up from this terrible nightmare. But, it's not happening.

We left Friday for Ruidoso, NM. We just needed to get away from the phone and we needed some time to ourselves. Thank you so much Aunt Theresa, Lois, and Cynthia for the use of your trailer. It was beautiful! We even saw 4 bucks in the yard yesterday morning. They were so beautiful. We are finally at home now. We got home tonight around 7:00 pm. We went straight to the cemetary to show Zach his bear that we bought him. Dimas has to put a stake on the bottom of it first before we leave it out there. It is so cute. It has lots of character just like Zach. We all miss him so much. It gets harder everyday. Everything we say or do reminds us of our precious baby boy. It is so hard to grasp the fact that he is gone physically. But we know he is still here spiritually. Our cousins had a wreck coming back from San Antonio TX from our cousin David's funeral. Two of them were thrown from the car. Before they wrecked the song (played at Zach's funeral) Streets of Heaven was playing. One of our cousins was wearing the t-shirt we had made in remembrance of Zach. There was blood splattered all over this shirt except on Zach's picture. We truly believe Zach was watching over them and that is why they are still alive today. Yes, they were hurt pretty bad but they are all alive. Thank you Guardian Angel Zach!

We still plan on keeping the web page open for a while longer. Please continue to check in and e-mail us. We love each and everyone of you and appreciate all the prayers and words of encouragement. Each and everyone of you hold a special place in our hearts.

Friday, September 19, 2003 2:48 PM CDT

We would like to say THANK YOU to all who have signed Zach's guestbook during the past year. We want you to know that Zach enjoyed reading the entries so much. The entries gave him and all of us encouragement and the inspiration that was needed to face each new day. God Bless each and every one of you. We feel we have acquired a very "Special" new family. Please keep in touch with us through our personal e-mail. We love you all...

The Herrera Family

Monday, September 15, 2003 2:41 PM CDT

FUNERAL SERVICES FOR ZACH

Tuesday (9/16): Viewing from 10:00 A.M. - 6:00 P.M.
Rosary from 6:30 P.M. - 9:00 P.M.
Place: Terpening & Sons Funeral Home
7th & Grand
Artesia, New Mexico

Wednesday (09/17): Services at Faith Baptist Church
2:00 P.M.
28th & Grand


Memorials: Make-A-Wish Foundation of New Mexico
Ronald McDonald House of Houston
National Brain Tumor Foundation
Lakeview Christian Hospice (Carlsbad, N.M.)

Sunday, September 14, 2003 6:41 AM CDT

FRIENDS AND FAMILY...
IT IS WITH GREAT SADNESS THAT WE WANTED TO LET EVERYONE KNOW THAT WE LOST OUR BELOVED ZACH AT 2:45 A.M. THIS MORNING. OUR LITTLE HERO FOUGHT A TOUGH BATTLE AND WAS THE BRAVEST LITTLE GUY WE KNOW. ARRANGEMENTS ARE PENDING...WE WILL UPDATE WHEN WE KNOW MORE. THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR KINDNESS, FRIENDSHIP AND MOST OF ALL YOUR PRAYERS.

THE HERRERA FAMILY

Saturday, September 13, 2003 12:35 AM CDT

Well, I'm actually (believe it or not) at a loss for words....................

Zach slipped into a coma yesterday after momma brushed his teeth. His blood pressure and pulse (the last time we checked it though it was 163) are still irregular and his fever went up this morning to 103.5. We aren't really sure why he is running a fever but we can only get it down to 101.3. We are giving him Ibuprofen suppositories every 2 hours. His breathing has been okay. Much better than yesterday. This morning Zach opened his eyes and looked at everyone and even said Momma. He has done that several times and tries to move his mouth but the words just won't come. He is still on oxygen and we give him breathing treatments when his lungs start rattling. I need for everyone to continue their prayers for a miracle but also for peace and comfort for Zach. He doesn't seem to be in any pain at this time.

I will try and update again tomorrow. Thanks for all the prayers.

Thursday, September 11, 2003 11:15 PM

Hello all,
Tonight is going to be a long night so since I'll be up all night I decided to give you an update. Zach was really angry today so we gave him some Ativan to calm him. We also had to give him some morphine because he had a headache. He would stay awake for about 10 or 15 minutes and then doze off. This afternoon he started what seemed to me like he was gasping for air and then he would stop. He wanted me to lay with him so we took a nap together and I noticed him taking 2 really deep breaths and then stopping for a few seconds. He was also having trouble swallowing water. We called the Hospice nurse, Maricella, to come over and check him out. Zach's bloodpressure and pulse are really irregular and his respirations are about 6 to 8 per minute. They put him on oxygen so that when he is gasping at least he'll get some oxygen intake. His lungs were clear. We gave him some more Ativan which calmed him and helped with his restlessness. He is sleeping now very peacefully. He is such an angel!

Wednesday, September 10, 2003 9:50 AM CDT

Good morning all,

Well, we had a much better day yesterday. Zach's blood pressure and pulse rate stayed pretty stable. He was very alert and stayed awake a whole lot more. He would even do the "People's eyebrow" (For those of you who don't know what that is it is when the Rock (wrestler) raises one eyebrow). Anyways, he would smile too and Samantha had him dancing (moving his arms). He also drank lots of milk and even had some coke that he hasn't wanted in a long time. Last night he started running a fever of 100.2. He was very uncomfortable so we put him in our round chair and that is where he slept. He was so comfortable we didn't want to move him. He didn't budge until 7:00 am this morning.

Today he is saying that he is hungry so hopefully we'll get him to eat something. He had his Grandpa Donce go get him Cocoa Puffs. Right now he is in his room laying down watching Dad play the playstation II. I have to go now. Dad is wanting me to cook breakfast before noon. Imagine that!

Keep on praying! We need a miracle!

Monday, September 8, 2003 11:58 PM CDT

Hello everyone,
This weekend went great. My Aunt Dorletta and cousins were here from Houston and my sister and nieces came in from Lubbock. We had a really good time. Zach was in and out of sleep all weekend. He got his feeding tube put in on Friday. He did really good. He had a full stomach all weekend. Then last night he started really struggling for air and his blood pressure started coming down and his pulse was really high. The nurse said his lungs were starting to fill up so they took him off of the feeding tube. This relieved some of the pressure on his lungs. We gave him some Ativan to calm him and morphine because he was moaning and pointing at his chest. This helped him sleep better. Dimas and I were so exhausted so Mom stayed up with Zach all night monitoring his blood pressure. She is so wonderful! We were all so scared. Today Zach has done lots better and has stayed awake a whole lot more. He was even responding with the peace sign, I love you sign, and 1 finger for yes and 2 for no. He would also smile a little bit. Jan and Cindy (Hospice nurses) bought him an ocean water at Sonic and he drank alot of it. He is sleeping now and hopefully he'll have a better night. Please continue to pray for him.

Thursday, September 4, 2003 10:58 PM CDT

Well everyone is down for the count so I thought I would update. Zach did better today. He didn't seem as restless and I didn't have to give him any morphine. He slept alot though. His blood sugar is going up so the doctor is wanting to put in a feeding tube through his nose so we'll be doing that tomorrow. They can do it here at home so that is good. This will make him feel full and he won't be asking for food all the time. He always asks (or spells) for something and when I get it or make it he doesn't want it. I just hurt for him. He is happiest these days when Momma lays beside him. Almost immediately he falls asleep. He is such an angel.

Our good friends from South Texas came in today. Rudy and Norma Reyna and their son Joshua. Dimas and Rudy have been friends since high school (a long, long time ago). My Aunt Dorletta, Amber, Ruben, and hopefully Lacy, Ali, and Joshua, will be here tomorrow afternoon. My sister and nieces will be here too. We are so excited! Zach has been asking for them alot so he will be really happy to see them. Mom is still here and is planning on staying a while. She has been wonderful. Zach doesn't let her do anything for him but she does alot for me, Dimas, and the kids. Oh, and of course Chicarita.

Chicarita has been so good to Zach. she just lays beside him on his bed. When people come over she keeps guard. She is so tough! Zach's principal, Mr. Null, came by today and brought him a Thunderbird shirt signed on the back by the whole 4th grade. Yeso Elementary, faculty and students, you are the best. JJ, Courtney, and Jayci came over after school today. They are very good friends of Zach's. It really brightens his day when they come over. Thanks guys!

I'm going to get to bed. I hope all of you have a wonderful weekend and remember to pray for Zach.

Wednesday, September 3, 2003 2:26 PM CDT

I'm sorry everyone for not letting you all know that Zach is out of the hospital but I haven't had much time in between caring for him. He started telling us on Sunday that he wanted to go home so we talked to Hospice and they told us they could monitor his TPN and so they arranged for it. Hospice comes everyday and checks his blood to make sure everything is okay. They did have to increase his potassium level in the TPN. We had to start giving him morphine yesterday morning. Zach was really restless and kept stiffening up so we felt like he must be in pain. He is really restless today and mad. He calls out my name but when I go to him he pushes me away. He even called me an idiot and told me he hates me. I told him "okay, but I still love you!" He is just so miserable and frustrated. He keeps telling us he is hungry but when we try to feed him he doesn't want it. We try everything he asks for and then some. He isn't drinking at all today either. It is so hard! We are trying everything we can to make him comfortable but it isn't working.

I have to tell you, his party in the hospital got pretty wild. Let's just say that Artesia General Hospital won't admit any Herrera's ever again. We had about 50 people in the room and then Zach started throwing cake at everyone. Of course I wore the most cake! The nurses were good sports about it but I think the doctor got a little upset. The cleaning lady just laughed while she cleaned it up. Zach got lots of cool presents. Thank you everyone for all the gifts. We hung up some of his stuff in the living room above his bed so that he can look at it and enjoy it.

I'm going to go now. Zach seems really restless so I'm going to give him more meds. Please continue to pray. Our journey is far from over.

Sunday, August 31, 2003 12:34 AM CDT

Good morning. I wanted to let everyone know that we admitted Zachary into the hospital here in Artesia yesterday afternoon. He hadn't eaten in 4 days and was telling us he was hungry but he just couldn't eat anything. They have him receiving TPN through his port and hopefully he'll start eating again soon. He did eat some jello last night and drank lots of water and also drank an ocean water slush from Sonic. He slept through the night and has slept most of the morning. He hasn't wanted anything to drink or eat yet and seems weaker. He isn't able to move his left arm. They gave him a shot of decadron in the butt and are working on getting him started on a liquid form of decadron if possible. This will help with any swelling in the brain and should help with some of his symptoms. We are hoping. He isn't talking very much this morning but I think he is still mad at me for letting them give him a shot in the butt. He has also mentioned that he wants to go home and I told him he can as soon as he eats something. We are having a birtday party for him today in his hospital room. Mom got here this morning and as you all know alot of Dimas' family is here too. He wants lots of balloons, presents, and taco pizza (like he can eat it!). Hopefully it will cheer him up to be surrounded by his loving family. I will keep you all posted on Zach's progress each day.

Thanks to Hospice, Zach received a signed baseball from his hero Andruw Jones of the Atlanta Braves. He was thrilled!

Keep on praying! We need a miracle!

Thursday, August 28, 2003 10:50 PM CDT

I thought I would get an earlier start today and update before I go to bed. Zach started off having a better day in that he didn't seem as disoriented but later on in the day he stopped talking. He hasn't said a word. We have such a hard time communicating with him now. He gets so mad and hits us because we don't know what he wants. He is so restless too. He isn't eating at all and he drinks very little. He can't seem to find the taste he wants. I gave him some tylenol before he went to sleep hoping that it will help relax him and help him sleep better. I have no clue whether he is in any pain or not because he can't tell me. Oh my precious baby boy! It is so hard to see him this way especially being as active as he has always been. He doesn't get up at all anymore.

People from the church and others keep bringing food and supplies by and I would like to thank them. Tech Net Medical where I used to work before Zach got sick is cooking a meal for our entire family tomorrow night.

Before Zach stopped talking he kept talking about having a birthday party (his birthday isn't till Nov. 15th) so we may try and plan one. I will let everyone know. I probably won't be able to update again till Monday or Tuesday so please bear with me. We are going to have a house full all weekend.

Take care my friends and family. Keep on praying!

Thursday, August 28, 2003 3:41 AM CDT

I couldn't sleep so I thought I would go ahead and update while I have the chance. We got Zach a hospital bed yesterday and put it in the living room so that he doesn't miss a thing. He hates being by himself. He seems to sleep more comfortably now. Today he is worse. He couldn't talk and he seems to be really disoriented. He is having trouble going to the bathroom but then again he isn't drinking much and he isn't eating at all. He is at the point where he is too weak to walk at all. Dad has to carry him from room to room. We are thinking that the patch that Hospice gave him to wear behind his ear may be the cause of his disorientation and confusion so I took it off and will contact Dr. Blaney about it. His blood pressure was elevated today as well. Oh how I miss our Drs. and nurses in Houston.

Zach has visitors on a daily basis. Mr. Null his principal and Mrs. Jones came to see him today. They brought him a card signed by all of the 4th grade and some cookies. His buddies JJ and Courtney and their mom Crystal came over yesterday and today. He really enjoys seeing his friends. The preacher and youth director from Faith Baptist have also visited us and several people from the church have brought food and paper goods. I tell ya, we couldn't ask for a better community to live in. They have all been so wonderful.

We are still hoping and praying for our miracle. I'm afraid it really needs to hurry up and happen. Please continue to sign the guestbook and keep Zach and our family in your prayers always.

Tuesday, August 26, 2003 10:23 AM CDT

I know what you all are thinking......."It's about time!" It is just really hard to be able to update anymore. Zach requires my constant attention. He is asleep right now so I have a few minutes. He is so weak that he can't even sit up to eat. He gets really angry when I make him get up to bathe and he has a hard time getting up to go to the bathroom. He sleeps alot now and stares alot too. Things are just happening too fast. He is having to eat soft foods now because he chokes when he eats. He can't feel the food but he can taste it. Hospice comes 3 times a week and that is helping out tremendously. He really likes Jan and Cindy and the nurse who checks on him, Julie. They always come bearing gifts for him. He is getting more spoiled than what he already was.

We are having lots and lots of company on the weekends. Family, family, and more family. Zach seems to enjoy it though and it helps us too. We couldn't ask for a better family. They are so supportive. Thanks guys! We love each and every one of you on my side and Dimas'. This weekend is Labor Day weekend and everyone is coming. We have so many coming that they are having to get rooms at the motel. Our community has been wonderful once again. The Faith Baptist Church has been bringing over plastic and paper items and also food. Hospice brought me a cake yesterday for my birthday. Yes, I'm another year older. The big 33! Oh whoa is me! Our neighbor across the street brought over a cake and our good friend Vickie brought over ribs, chicken, and cokes. Others have brought stuff as well. Thanks everyone! We appreciate everything!

We ask that each of you keep praying. Keep praying for that miracle that needs to happen soon. Zach loses more and more of his functions daily. "Please God, hear our prayers. Send down a miracle for our Zach!"

Love to you all!

Wednesday, August 20, 2003 6:37 PM CDT

I have a few minutes while Zach is lying down so I thought I would give everyone an update. Zach just seems to get worse everyday. It is really hard to carry on a conversation with him because he has trouble saying what he wants to say and sometimes he starts saying something but doesn't finish the sentence. His hearing is so much worse that you have to practically yell at him or make sure he is looking right at you close up. He is really having a hard time getting around by himself. Well, actually he doesn't. He has to be helped or he'll fall. He doesn't like to wait for anything so if it's not done right then he'll try and do it himself such as getting a drink or walking to another room. He is getting so frustrated! He is having trouble holding on to things with his hands so therefore has trouble eating. He is also having a problem with choking on his food. He did it once last night (Dimas panicked) and then again today. I feel like he needs to eat just soft foods but he TELLS us what HE wants to eat so we'll just keep on giving him what he wants and just keep an eye on him at all times. He is still having trouble urinating and they did a urine test on him yesterday and everything came out normal. They feel like his brain isn't sending the message fast enough.

Zach's Grandma Vina and Tia Bibi and cousins got here yesterday. We get good cooking and homemade tortillas for a week. Not to mention a whole lot plumper! Cop Grandma will be here tonight. Hip-Hip Hurray!!!!

I will try and update more often but Zach is needing more attention these days so it is getting harder to find the time. Please be patient with me. Thank you all for your prayers. Please don't stop. We are all still hoping and praying for a miracle.

Sunday, August 17, 2003 5:04 PM CDT

Sorry it has been so long. We had a house full of company this weekend. It was really fun. Zach really enoyed it except that he got really tired and he just won't sit for even a minute. His walking just continues to get worse. If we don't help him he ends up falling down. He has done this several times and usually hurts himself in the process. We are trying to rearrange things around here to accomodate him. I went today to buy some rugs (A runner for down the hallway and one really big one for the bathroom) but of course our K-Mart stinks and I couldn't find the right size I need. Hopefully I'll get to Wal Mart soon to look.

The kids start school tomorrow. They seem excited. I hope they'll just jump right in and do their best in academics and athletics. I have alot of faith in them and I'm sure they'll do great. Hopefully with them at school, Zach will be able to rest more during the day. He'll probably get bored though.

We are going to go to K-Mart to return these rugs and get, you guessed it, Yu-gi-oh cards so I'll update again later. Please keep on praying and please keep on signing the guestbook. It means so much to Zach and all of us.

Wednesday, August 13, 2003 10:07 AM CDT

Good morning all!
Things are pretty chaotic this morning. Everyone is trying to get dressed. Carissa spent the night and Anthony's friend Chris and then Mom got here yesterday afternoon. I'm just so glad she is here. As soon as she got here Zach talked her into taking him to Hastings to buy, yes you guessed it, Yu-gi-oh cards. She also rented us some movies. She is taking the kids for their athletic physicals this morning. School starts Monday and I'm not sure if I'm happy or not. I haven't really gotten to enjoy having my kids home very much. We went and got Anthony's schedule yesterday and will get Sam's today. She also has volleyball practise. Zach and I just can't wait to get to watch her play. Zach is still fast asleep.

I spoke with Dr. Heideman yesterday and he doesn't want to put Zach on any type of medication for his urinating problem because he said that those medications will lower his blood pressure and he says we don't want that to happen. He gave me some tips to try and hopefully they will help. Zach has fallen a few times. He has a really hard time getting up from sitting on the floor. I figure because he is so weak and because it is hard for him to balance himself. His walking just gets worse and worse. He wants to follow me around the house everywhere I go but it scares me because if I'm cooking he loses his balance and gets really close to the stove. I can't make him understand that he needs to just sit down. He hates to be alone at all even for a second. Dr. Blaney has also called and checked on him and Uncle Mike did yesterday. We really miss them and wish that they were here to help and monitor Zach. I just keep praying that they will find something that can help Zach.

I'm going to help Mom get everyone ready to leave. We have an appointment today with Hospice. I will let you know how that turns out. I'm really having mixed feelings about it but I do believe it is probably time to get some help. Thank you all for writing to Zach and myself and for all your prayers.

Hoping, praying for a miracle........................

DON'T COUNT THE DAYS........MAKE THE DAYS COUNT!

Monday, August 11, 2003 11:44 AM CDT

I know I know I haven't updated in a while. It is really hard to write these days. Zach isn't doing real good. His walking is worse and he pretty much needs assistance to get around, go to the bathroom, bathe, etc. His speech is real slurred and he is very weak and tired all the time. He has accidents pretty much every time he goes to sleep so that really bothers him. He keeps asking why? He also has trouble eating, making a mess all over himself and surrounding area. Dr. Blaney called today checking on him. She feels like we need to call in Hospice. I'm not sure I'm ready for that.

I had to call Dr. Heideman to call him in an antibiotic on Friday because he woke up with a horrible ear ache and was really congested. That part seems to be better. I just wish everything else would get better. I have a call in to Dr. Heideman today too because he is having trouble during the day going to the bathroom. He has the urge it just won't come.

But after all that he is still his funny self and always wanting on E-bay to buy Yu-gi-oh cards. Anthony and Sam are home now and so he enjoys hanging out with them. Actually fighting with them. It's funny, I don't even mind it. It's like music to my ears. My whole family is together now. It is such a nice feeling.

We took Zach and Andrew to see Spy Kids 3-D on Friday. It is okay for kids but I wasn't impressed. The first 2 were better I thought.

Well I'm going to go for now. I'm waiting on the Dr's office to call. I'll let everyone know what they say.

Hoping, praying, for a Miracle!

Thursday, August 7, 2003 9:03 PM CDT

IT FEELS GOOD TO BE HOME!!! Yes we finally made it in about 6:30 pm. We have been in Lubbock since Tuesday evening at Zach's Tia Corina's. We went school clothes shopping for Sam and Ant. Thank goodness I'm done with that. We had a good time though. He got to see his Grandpa Donce and Josie and all his cousins along with his Tio Will and Tia Corina. Last night we ate supper at his Aunt Kristi's so he got to spend some time with his cousins there as well. Today we had to make a stop in Denver City, Seminole, and Hobbs so he got to see his Cop Grandma again and more of his Tia's and cousins. His best bud and cousin Andrew came home with us.

Zach's symptoms keep progressing daily. He gets really tired quick. And of course BORED! He can't tell me enough that he is bored and there is nothing to do but get on e-bay and look for Yu-gi-oh cards. The boy is going to have to go to e-bay anonomous before long not to mention he is going to go broke at the age of 9. Today was his last day on steroids so hopefully he'll lose the weight and puffiness he gained. He was only on Prednisone for about 2 weeks but you could already see the weight gain. Not to mention he ate like he hadn't eaten in weeks. They needed him on it for the study but since he can't participate in it we requested for them to wean him off of them.

I'm going to go for now. Zach is getting upset with me because he can't find some Yu-gi-oh cards and of course it's my fault. I'm sure you all know how that is. I will update again soon.

Tuesday, August 5, 2003 6:55 AM CDT

Good morning friends and family!

Our visit to the doctor wasn't what we wanted to hear.....
They told us there were too many changes to start him on a new study and really don't feel like he will be able to participate in any others. These protocols call for a week of stabilization and his symptoms keep progressing daily. Not news any of us wanted to hear. His spirits are still good though. He hasn't lost ANY of his sense of humor. There is a good side to everything though, we left last night at about 8:00 pm and are now sitting in Denver City at Cop Grandma's. Dimas will be getting here sometime this morning. We are so glad to be in familiar surroundings.

Today is a very special day. Not only are we getting to come home but today is my precious daughters 14th birthday. It is so hard to believe that 14 years ago today I gave birth to the most beautiful little girl. Happy Birthday baby girl!! We ALL love you very much. You make us so proud. Enjoy your day! I also want to wish my cousin Whitney a very special Birthday wish. 16 years ago today she was born into our family and we love her dearly. Happy Birthday Cuz!! I also want to wish my niece Valerie a Be-lated Happy Birthday. I'm sorry I forgot to call you on your special day. We love you very much!

Well I guess I'll close for now. I'm going to get some things done before the Zach Man wakes up. You can all e-mail us from now on at our home e-mail which is dmherrera@pvtnetworks.net. Please keep on signing the guestbook as well. Zach and I look forward to reading those every chance we get. And also please keep on praying.

Thought of the day: Don't count the days; Make the days count!

Sunday, August 3, 2003 8:28 PM CDT

Hello everybody!


I hope all of you had a really nice weekend. We didn't do anything until today and we went to church and then went to eat afterwards and when we got home Mom was here. We were so happy to see her. Then we all went to Sam's. Sounds exciting doesn't it? Well if it is any form of shopping, Zach loves it.

Zach slept alot this weekend and his walking got a little worse. He is really turning his head today and getting cramps in his neck because of it. He is playing playstation right now which is good because if he wasn't he would be wanting on E-Bay to look for Yu-gi-oh cards.

Tomorrow we have to be at the hospital bright and early to start treatment. Wish us luck and most of all pray for Zach. I will let everyone know how it goes. Until then.....

Friday, August 1, 2003 11:59 PM CDT

I'm so sorry everyone that I haven't been able to update very fast. When it is just me around Zach wants my undivided attention. Those of you who keep harassing my Mom............KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!!! (Not really Mom)

We went to Six Flags on Tuesday and boy was it HOT! We had a really nice time though. Zach's Grandpa Donce and Josie went with us so they took Sam and Ant to ride the big rides and Dimas and I kept Zach and Josh and did what they wanted to do which mostly consisted of playing all the games. So of course we ended up with a bunch more stuffed animals. Zach would get really grouchy and to cool him off we would go into the air-conditioned stores. We left there at 7:00 and drove to Houston.

We were at the hospital by 8:00 am and they came and examined Zach and of course they saw all the changes that have been taking place so he didn't qualify to participate in the study they told us about two weeks ago. They told us of another study that hasn't been opened yet for children and they got it approved for Zach to participate in it. It will consist of hour long infusions twice a week without a break in between. After 4 weeks they will do an MRI to see if it is helping. If not, then we stop it and I think we have decided that if it doesn't work we are going home to stay. I will let everyone know how things go on Monday.

Zach's Cop Grandma will be here on Sunday. He is so excited! She gets to stay with us a week. Josh left today. Craig and Robin came and picked him up. They had such a good time together. Josh was so helpful and took really good care of his pal. He was starting to get a little homesick though so it was time for him to leave.

I hope I can get Zach to rest the rest of the weekend before he starts treatments again. His walking just gets worse and worse and his speech too. Tonight he said he was having sharp pains in the back of his head. He isn't using his left hand very much either. They kept him on his inhaler because the top of his lungs were full. They also had to put him on a low dose of steroids (Prednisolon-SP???) It sure does seem to be increasing his appetite. He has to be on it a week in order to do this new study. He is still just as funny as ever though. He keeps us laughing.

I promise to start doing better on my updates. Things have just been so crazy here lately. Please continue to pray for Zach. God Bless you all!

Monday, July 28, 2003 10:00 PM CDT

Hi everybody! Well we are here in Hillsboro,TX. We picked up Josh (Zach's best friend) in Round Rock this afternoon and are staying at the Motel 6 and heading to the Wax Museum and Six Flags tomorrow. The boys have been at it non-stop, talking and having pillow fights and, of course playing playstation. We were all so glad to see The Cockrum family.

Zach started getting sick on Friday night and so we had to take him to the doctor in Raymondville, TX and they put him on an inhaler and gave him 2 other meds for cough, congestion, and wheezing. They also gave him an antibiotic for an ear infection. He sounded really horrible. He still sounds pretty congested but is acting like he feels better. We babtized him on Saturday afternoon in Raymondville. It was a very small ceremony but very special. Zach's Godparents are John and Nena and Ralph and Delma. I hope they all know how much it means to us and Zach. You guys are very special people to us. Thank you for all that you do!

We will be going to Houston tomorrow night after Six Flags. We have to be at the hospital Wednesday morning. They will evaluate him and let us know sometime this week if he qualifies for the next study. It all depends on how much he has changed since we were there last.

Well, I'm going to get some sleep. We have a big day ahead of us. Take care everyone and keep praying!

Thursday, July 24, 2003 11:32 AM MDT

Good morning my friends & family, of course!

We are all busy packing and cleaning and getting ready to head out once again. We are going to South Texas for the weekend because Zachary is getting Baptized on Saturday and then we are going on to Round Rock to visit Zach's very best friend, Josh. We have an appointment with another doctor on Monday afternoon in Lewisville, TX and then it is off to Dallas to Six Flags. Josh is going with us. Zach is so excited.

Zach has been feeling okay. A little more tired the last couple of days. His memory seems to be getting worse and he is still drooling alot. His walking is still unstable and he is still having double vision. The study in Houston has opened up but we still haven't decided whether to go that route or not. There are no guarantees and we just don't want him to suffer and be sick alot with side-effects. I promise to let everyone know what we decide.

I'm going to close for now and finish up my packing. Please continue to sign the guestbook it means alot to all of us and continue to pray for a miracle.

God Bless!

Monday, July 21, 2003 3:39 PM CDT

Wow! What a weekend! We are all exhausted and just taking it easy today. Today is our Sunday. Zach is really taking a good nap. He had so much fun this weekend with all of his family here. Believe it or not he wasn't bored!

He woke up about 3:00 am and went to the bathroom because his stomach was hurting and when he came back to bed he fell. He has been falling quite a bit. He threw up and it made him feel alot better and then he started sneezing and couldn't stop and he was getting all congested. I'm sure the throwing up was because of the tumor as was his falling down.

We still haven't heard from Dr. Blaney or Mike in regards to the new study they want us to try. I wish they would hurry up. I feel his tumor is progressing and if he starts having too many symptoms he won't qualify.

Zach has a new cousin that was born this morning in Austin. His Tia Bibi had an 8lb 1 oz. baby boy. They still weren't sure on a name so I'll let everyone know that later.

I better get busy doing something besides being lazy today. Take care everyone!

Thursday, July 17, 2003 1:48 PM CDT

Good afternoon everyone!
Well we have been here almost a week and I have spent everyday CLEANING. You could really tell I had been gone for 2 months. Zach has really enjoyed being home except he keeps telling me he's bored and that "Uncle Mike" (the research nurse in Houston) and Dr. Blaney told him to have "FUN" while he was at home.

Last night his friend JJ Callaway spent the night and we cooked hot dogs outside on the grill and they jumped on the trampoline and played baseball in the house (Yikes!) Zach got really tired pretty early so JJ ended up hanging out with Anthony and his friend. Zach has been coughing quite a bit this morning but hopefully it's just the dry climate. They are at it again today playing baseball. (which I just had to run them outside because they are knocking things off the walls)It is cloudy so it isn't as hot as it has been which is good for Zach. The heat really wipes him out.

He is looking forward to this weekend. Alot of his family will be here. Zach really enjoys spending time with family.

Dr. Blaney called to check on him and all of us yesterday but still didn't know when we would have to be in Houston to start the next study. I figure not this next Monday but the next.

We are going to South Texas next weekend to baptize Sam, Ant, and Zach in San Juan. This is something we have always wanted to do and feel like now is a good time. Dimas' Tia Vina is getting it all set up. Tia Vina has been so wonderful to us during this whole ordeal. She is a wonderful, caring lady and we thank her for everything.

That is all I have to talk about at this time. I will write more later when I have more information.

Thank you all for your support. We couldn't get through this without it.

Sunday, July 13, 2003 10:16 PM CDT

Sorry guys that I haven't written in a while. Things have been pretty crazy since I last wrote. We had our meeting with the doctors on Thursday and it wasn't good news at all. His tumor has grown 20% since his last MRI in May. There is another study that he can participate in but it doesn't start until July 23rd. But like the others they can't guarantee anything. If he starts having too many changes due to the tumor he can't participate. He is having changes daily. His walking or balance is worse and his speech is getting worse. He also drools badly. I told him I was going to get him a bib and he just laughed. He has trouble with short term memory also. They gave us permission to go home until the next study begins. We left right after we got out of the hospital on Thursday and drove to Hobbs, NM to take his cousin home and to see some of our family there. We spent the night and he got to go swimming with his cousins (his counts were great so the doctors told us to have lots of fun!) and do lots of playing. We came home last night and his Grandpa and Grandma and Aunt Carissa came over to see him. Today we slept in and then him and Anthony went golfing with Dad. They only got to hit range balls because it got too hot for Zach. Other than that we have been trying to get this house back in order. We are both so glad to be home. We will be here for about 2 weeks. It all depends on when they tell us to be back. I will keep everyone posted on how he is feeling and I will let everyone know as soon as we know when we have to go back to Houston. God Bless all of you!

Tuesday, July 8, 2003 10:16 PM CDT

What can I say? Not good news...............his MRI showed more growth..............What do we do now? Well, we meet with his doctor on Thursday after bloodwork and his exam to discuss our options (if there are any). We are just so disappointed. He did really well getting his port accessed this morning and then we ended up having to wait for hours because the hospital messed up on the paperwork so we had to start from scratch on all our info. This made us late for his MRI and so there we were waiting again for the next open spot. They gave him a steroid because last time he had an allergic reaction (coughing, sneezing, and wheezing)to the contrast used during his MRI so they tried to counteract it. He still had an allergic reaction accept not as bad. They had to give him a breathing treatment which for some reason he was excited about.(????????)His bloodwork did come back okay. His ANC were back up to 2000.

Tomorrow morning we are going to go watch Terminator 3 and then hopefully go swimming with his cousins Lacy and Ali.

Well guys, I just wanted to write and let you know what went on today. I will let everyone know Thursday what we are going to do now. Until then.........................

Monday, July 7, 2003 5:23 PM CDT

Well first of all I would like to make a correction. My niece's baby only weighed 6lbs. 12 oz. Dimas was still asleep when we got the call. Sorry!

I hope everyone had a nice 4th of July holiday. We certainly did. We ate lots of good food and popped lots of firecrackers. We also got to watch the display at Splash Town. It was really nice. Zach even got to pop some himself so he was pretty happy.

On Saturday we met Zach's Tio Smokey and family, Grandpa Donce, Tia Vina and family, and his Tia Bibi and family in Caldwell, TX. It was kind of an in-between spot for us all to get together. We stayed in a motel with a pool and the kids swam, and swam, and swam some more and we barbequed for supper. Everyone went home yesterday but we decided to stay one more night since Zach doesn't have to be at the hospital until tomorrow morning. Yes the day has finally come where we will find out whether this chemo is doing anything or not. We have to be there early in the morning to access his port and do bloodwork and then we'll go down for his MRI and then go back tomorrow morning for the results. Then we'll go from there.................

He has really done good this weekend. He is still eating good and in really good humor. He always is when he is with family. He started coughing this morning so hopefully that will pass.

I wanted to let you all know that Zach got a very special package in the mail. His Principle, Mr. Null, sent him his report card and some other things we left behind at school since he didn't attend the last few weeks of school. In this package was a VERY SPECIAL award: The Principal's Award For Excellence that was to be presented to Zachary at the awards assembly the last day of school. Zach was given this award for his Determination, Great Character, and a Positive Attitude. It also read that because of you our school is a better place to learn. You have demonstrated through your actions that one person can make a difference. I applaud you for what you have accomplished and look forward to hearing even more great things about you in the future. I think we all feel this way about "OUR LITTLE HERO." He also made "HIGHEST HONORS." We are all so proud of our Zach!!

I will write more tomorrow and let you all know how his bloodwork comes out and how he does during his MRI. Love to you all!

Thursday, July 3, 2003 10:23 PM CDT

Today we went to the hospital for blood work and an exam. His ANC (infection fighting) are way down so no crowds this 4th of July and no swimming till they go up. BUMMER! There is a 50% chance of rain tomorrow anyways so our fireworks may get rained out.

His cousin/God brother Andrew arrived this morning about 3:00. He was so happy to see him. At least we will all be together as a family for this holiday weekend. Not sure what we are going to do yet but it means the world to Zach to have all his family together.

Zach has a new cousin. His cousin (our niece) had a baby girl this morning weighing 8lbs. 12 oz. Congratulations Divina! We love you and are so happy for you.

I guess that is all for now. Dimas, Me, Samantha, Anthony, Andrew (my nephew), and Zachary would like to wish all of you a happy and safe 4th of July.

Monday, June 30, 2003 10:23 PM CDT

Hi everyone! Thought you might like to hear an update and see some new pictures.

Sunday we slept in and then we painted some bird houses. Zach loves to paint. Then we ordered Dominoes pizza for supper. Afterwards, we went out to Lake Conroe and went tubing. Zach had been wanting to go so bad but couldn't because of his blood counts. After tubing, we just cruised the lake in the boat. We had a really nice time.


Went for bloodwork today. Everything was fine except we didn't get the results back on his ANC. He is still feeling good and eating so much better. Another week and we go for another MRI to see if we will continue with the Irinotecan. I'm seeing lots of changes due to the tumor so I don't know whether it is working or not. I pray that it is.

Zach and everyone else have retired for the night so I better do the same. God Bless all of you!!

Saturday, June 28, 2003 11:35 PM CDT

Okay, one more time, my address here at my Aunt's house is
Zach Herrera
c/o Dorletta Hildebrand
3411 Berry Grove
Spring, TX 77388

I still have people asking so I wanted to post it one more time.

We are having a really good weekend. Zach has been full of energy and has kept us all laughing. My Uncle Mark took us to see the Astros vs the Rangers game today. We had a really good time. We sat 12 rows from the field behind the Astros dugout. AWESOME SEATS!!! The Astros won 2-0. Zach was really going for both teams because they are both Texas teams and he likes Alex Rodriquez on the Rangers and Jeff Bagwell on the Astros. We all know who his most favorite team is....The ATLANTA BRAVES!!!

I guess that is all for now. I just wanted to let everyone know that he is doing good and has been eating very well. OH, I forgot to tell everyone but Thursday at the hospital he had gained 1 lb. WOO-HOO!! We go in Monday for more bloodwork so until then......

Thursday, June 26, 2003 5:16 PM CDT

Went to the hospital this morning for blood work. He had an exam, drew blood, and we were out of there. We ate brunch at I-Hop (He couldn't decide what he wanted so he ordered a sampler with chicken strips and cheese sticks and French toast) and then we went to watch Rugrats Go Wild. Zach really enjoyed it, I slept. Then we went and bought some groceries at Wal Mart and got him a haircut. It was really falling out everywhere so we cut it even all over. Now it is still falling out but in itty bitty pieces instead of long strands. He looks handsome as ever! He was really full of it today. He was very talkative. I really hope he'll get to enjoy the next two weeks before we start chemo again. He is feeling great except for being tired and weak. He is also having some double vision in his left eye and he is really turning his head to one side. His balance is off too.

Dimas, Anthony, and Chicarita left yesterday for home. We already miss them but Dimas had to get back to work. They will be back for the 4th of July though. His sister, and Tia Fela and family will hopefully be here Sunday. His Tio Smokey and family may be here this weekend. He loves to have visitors! Saturday we are supposed to go back to the lake so he is excited because he got permission to get in the water just this once.


We would like to say "congratulations" to Zach's Tia Nena. She is getting pinned Saturday night for nursing. We are sooo proud of her. We knew you could do it!!!

We don't have to go back until Monday for blood work again so we plan on having some fun this weekend.

I'm going to go. I think we are going out for supper! Take care everyone!

Tuesday, June 24, 2003 9:34 PM CDT

Hi guys!
Sorry I haven't written since Saturday. We have been busy. Sunday, my Uncle Mark took us all fishing. We went really early in the morning so Zach wouldn't get too hot. He had a wonderful time on the boat. He caught one fish, Anthony caught two, and Dimas caught two. Then we went and ate supper with Zach's grandpa Donce and he took him to Wal Mart to buy him the Hulk hummer (I guess that is what it is) and the helicopter.

Monday we went in for blood work and his counts were up just enough to where he could get a lower dose of the chemo so they gave it to him. That was his last dose for two weeks. He has another MRI scheduled for July 8th. The doctors gave him permission to swim so we rented a room tonight and he has been swimming all day off and on. He gets tired, rests, and then goes again. My mom got here today and brought Zach's favorite puppy with her. Yes, our baby Chicarita is finally with us. We haven't seen her in a month and a half. She was so excited as was Zach. They are sleeping together at this moment. Dimas will be leaving tomorrow back to Artesia and will be taking Anthony and Chicarita with him.

Today was mine and Dimas' 14th anniversary. Can you believe it? 14 years! WOW! We didn't do anything special but just seeing Zach's expression while he swam was the best present ever! I love Dimas more today than I did when we first got married. I couldn't get through all of this without him. He is what keeps me going strong. Thanks babe for being you!

I'm going to turn in for the night. Take care everyone and God Bless you all!

Misti

Saturday, June 21, 2003 3:10 PM CDT

Well everyone I have some really sad news. Cancer has taken another victim. Our very dear friend, Lilli Barlow, passed away Thursday morning. Please keep her family in your prayers. She will truly be missed by all who knew her.

As for Zachary, he didn't get chemo yesterday. His blood counts were way to low. They had almost dropped double since Monday. They will check him again on Monday and if his counts are back up then they will give him chemo that day. He continued eating more and has had a little bit more energy then last week but he is still really weak. We have to be really careful now not to expose him to anyone that is sick. He can't swim in lakes, rivers, the ocean, or any public pools. He is wanting to swim so bad! His Tia Bibi, and his cousins Christopher, Kristina, and Andres came to the hospital to see him yesterday and brought Anthony home. Boy was he glad to see his Bubba.

We took him to see the Hulk this morning. Trust me, they have blown this Hulk thing way out of proportion. It wasn't at all what we expected. I mean it was good and Zach enjoyed it, but it really isn't on a childs level. Spiderman was a whole lot better. After we went to the movies we took him to eat at his favorite place, you guessed it, Taco Cabana. Then we went and rented movies to watch tonight and during the day tomorrow. It is just too hot to have Zach out and about.

I want to give my Aunt's address one more time because I have had several people ask for it.
Zach Herrera
c/o Dorletta Hildebrand
3411 Berry Grove
Spring, TX 77382

He received a package today from Wanda and Reagan. Thank you so much! It really excites him to receive things in the mail. He loves to color so the coloring books were a great idea. He is wearing his Hulk lanyard around his neck playing playstation with Dad as I am writing.

I'm going to go for now. I'll try and write again tomorrow but will definitely on Monday. Take care everyone!

Saturday, June 21, 2003 3:10 PM CDT

Well everyone I have some really sad news. Cancer has taken another victim. Our very dear friend, Lilli Barlow, passed away Thursday morning. Please keep her family in your prayers. She will truly be missed by all who knew her.

As for Zachary, he didn't get chemo yesterday. His blood counts were way to low. They had almost dropped double since Monday. They will check him again on Monday and if his counts are back up then they will give him chemo that day. He continued eating more and has had a little bit more energy then last week but he is still really weak. We have to be really careful now not to expose him to anyone that is sick. He can't swim in lakes, rivers, the ocean, or any public pools. He is wanting to swim so bad!

We took him to see the Hulk this morning. Trust me, they have blown this Hulk thing way out of proportion. It wasn't at all what we expected. I mean it was good and Zach enjoyed it, but it really isn't on a childs level. Spiderman was a whole lot better. After we went to the movies we took him to eat at his favorite place, you guessed it, Taco Cabana. Then we went and rented movies to watch tonight and during the day tomorrow. It is just too hot to have Zach out and about.

I want to give my Aunt's address one more time because I have had several people ask for it.
Zach Herrera
c/o Dorletta Hildebrand
3411 Berry Grove
Spring, TX 77382

He received a package today from Wanda and Reagan. Thank you so much! It really excites him to receive things in the mail. He loves to color so the coloring books were a great idea. He is wearing his Hulk lanyard around his neck playing playstation with Dad as I am writing.

I'm going to go for now. I'll try and write again tomorrow but will definitely on Monday. Take care everyone!

Thursday, June 19, 2003 2:06 PM CDT

Hi everybody!
Sorry I didn't update yesterday. Dad got here around 6:00am. Zach was sooooo excited. He talked so much yesterday. Dimas said "He won't shut-up!" We took him to Wal Mart and Dimas bought him the army tank that goes to the Incredible Hulk and some men to put in it. Zach wanted apple pie from McDonalds so Dimas bought him 2 and he ate both of them. That is really all he ate yesterday. He started up again last night with diarrhea so we started him back on the Loperimide. He got up this morning and ate some eggs and a bowl of cocoa pebbles. Then we watched Jungle Book 2 that Aunt Dorletta rented for him. Then his stomach started giving him fits. He went to the bathroom about 3 times in a row. He just cries and says " This chemo better work Mom or all of this will be for nothing." Finally I got him to sleep and that is what he is doing now, peacefully. He has his last chemo for this round tomorrow morning and then he'll just go in for labs for 2 weeks and he has an MRI scheduled for the 8th of July. The MRI will determine if we continue with another round of the Irinotecan or discontinue it and do something else. His Tia Bibi is coming tomorrow and meeting us at the hospital and bringing Anthony. He is really anxious to see his Bubba. Aunt Dorletta bought him an Incredible Hulk beach towel yesterday and he was so happy. We have been looking for one. He is getting really excited about Saturday because we are taking him, Anthony, and our cousins Amber and Ruben to see the Incredible Hulk movie. Zach says " I have been waiting a year and 2 months to see it." He just woke up and says his tummy feels a little better. It is time for meds so I better close for now. Take care!

Tuesday, June 17, 2003 3:24 PM CDT

Good afternoon. I thought I would get a jump on things while Zach is taking a nap. He has laid around all day except he did get up long enough to help me make tuna sandwiches. He cut up the pickles and mixed everything together. He loves to help mommy in the kitchen. He's my little chef! He ate 1 and a 1/2 sandwiches which is great for him. That is all he has eaten today though and he isn't really drinking very much. We are both excited because Dad should be here by tomorrow morning and Thursday (hopefully) his Tia Bibi and cousins are coming for the day and bringing his Bubba. He has had a really hard time this morning. He has been crying off and on missing Chicarita. He says "But she means the whole world to me Mom!" Poor baby! I wish I could do something about that but there is no way. We have 7 weeks till we might possibly get to go home just for a visit. I hope he can last that long without her. I still haven't heard anything on his blood work so I'm assuming everything is A-okay for Friday's infusion. My love to all!

Monday, June 16, 2003 10:52 PM CDT

Hello everyone!
What a weekend! Zach did so much better. We were even able to get him out of the house for a little while and go shopping. He stayed awake a whole lot more and he even ate some. Today, we went to the hospital for blood work. I don't have those results yet but will let everyone know when I get them. He did lose some more weight (74.6 I believe). He hasn't had diarrhea since last Thursday night. Woo Hoo!! He ate one & 1/2 bean & cheese tacos from Taco Cabana today and a bowl of cereal. We went to Target and got him a Hulk & Spiderman puzzle to do and I bought him a Bingo game (He loves Bingo!). He is starting to get really bored without his Bubba and sister here. Please everyone keep our good and dear friend Lilli Barlow and her family in your prayers. She isn't doing good at all. She sleeps most of the time and can't eat solids anymore and they have stopped giving her any meds. She is so weak and tired of fighting this dreadful disease. I also would like everyone to pray for my Great-Aunt Illian in Tyler, TX. She hasn't been feeling good at all. Well, it is late and I have lots of e-mails to read so I'll close for now. Take care everyone!

Saturday, June 14, 2003 8:18 PM CDT

Zach and I were sitting here reading all his e-mail and I thought I'd better update the web page. We got out of the hospital yesterday evening at 6:30. We were sent home at around 12:30 but we had to go to where he gets his chemo so they could go ahead and give it to him. They gave it to him at a lower dose. Zach was so glad to be back at Aunt Dorletta's. He stayed awake longer than he had in several days and he was laughing and smiling and talking to everyone. We haven't had any diarrhea since Thursday night. Thank the Lord! He is really weak still but can sit up more and we even went to Wal Mart today just to get out of the house. He even ate just a little bit today........a few bites of roast and corn and then he ate some chips and ranch dip. He gets really irritable off and on during the day and I just have to walk away. It really hurts my feelings but I know that he can't help it. Not only is it a side effect from his tumor but I would be grouchy if I had to go through what he does everyday. He has been really sad today that he's not going to be with his Dad tomorrow so Dad if you are reading this, "Happy Father's Day" from #3. "I love you very much and can't wait to see you." PaPa, Carissa, Aunt Kristi, Hailey, and Sam left early this morning to go back home. We didn't get to spend much fun time with them but we did enjoy their company at the hospital. Zach is calling me to come lay down with him so I better wrap it up. Take care everyone!

Thursday, June 12, 2003 6:59 PM CDT

It's me again!
I thought I would change the scenery a little bit and get ready for the 4th of July holiday. Zach has been more awake today. He hasn't had any diarrhea since this morning so keep your fingers crossed. He still hasn't eaten anything but is drinking gatorade in small amounts. They were able to take out his IV and hook up his antibiotics and fluids to his port so he was happy about that. PaPa brought his sorry game and we played a couple of games. I beat him once and he beat me once. Radio Lollipop personnel just came in and brought him something to decorate so we are fixing to have art time. He is kind of rushing me here so I'll be getting off now. I will let everyone know how things are going tomorrow. Please pray that we'll get to go home to Spring.................................................

Thursday, June 12, 2003 11:28 AM CDT

Hello!
We are having to spend another night in the hospital. BUMMER! Zach is still having diarrhea and they want to keep him on fluids another day. His fever finally broke at 4:00 am and he hasn't had anymore. They finally got his port to working. He just has to lay on his side when they draw blood from it. It is very positional they said. Zach had a visit from 2 Texas Rangers here in Houston this morning. They brought him some goodies that he is very proud of. I would like to thank them for being so thoughtful. It really meant alot to Zach and our whole family. Zach won't be receiving chemo today so that will put him behind a week. The doctor says his counts aren't low enough to cause any concern right now so that is good. Zach has been sleeping off and on this morning and I suspect he will most of the day. Mom probably will too. We didn't get very much sleep last night. I will update more later when I hear more from the doctor. Take care everyone!

Wednesday, June 11, 2003 10:05 PM CDT

Hi everyone. This is Zachary's Aunt Kristi. We have been at the hospital most of the day. Zach started running a fever of 101.2 at home and Zach's nurse Mike wanted to see him. When we got to the clinic, his fever spiked up to 102. They drew blood and suspect an infection. They have him on IV antibiotic and fluids to keep him hydrated. Zach has not been up to eating or drinking much. Poor baby still has lots of diarrhea and is so weak. He started sleeping downstairs last night because he didn't feel he could climb up them. As soon as we get more information and results from the Dr. we will update you. Keep praying for Zachary and his family.
Remember our new email address is deputybaize2@aol.com.

Tuesday, June 10, 2003 11:29 PM CDT

We got the results of Zach's blood work today and it looked good. He hasn't felt good at all today. He slept from 10:00 this morning till 5:00 this afternoon. When he woke up he was really thirsty. He also ate a banana and a few grapes. Then his stomach started hurting again and he had diarrhea again. I gave him his meds and then he went back to bed. He says he is just really tired and weak. He was having some double vision tonight also so he couldn't really watch TV very good. We have a new e-mail address here. It is deputybaize2@aol.com. Please keep them coming!!

Tuesday, June 10, 2003 11:29 PM CDT

We got the results of Zach's blood work today and it looked good. He hasn't felt good at all today. He slept from 10:00 this morning till 5:00 this afternoon. When he woke up he was really thirsty. He also ate a banana and a few grapes. Then his stomach started hurting again and he had diarrhea again. I gave him his meds and then he went back to bed. He says he is just really tired and weak. He was having some double vision tonight also so he couldn't really watch TV very good. We have a new e-mail address here. It is deputybaize2@aol.com. Please keep them coming!!

Tuesday, June 10, 2003 7:32 AM CDT

Good morning!
I don't have any news as far as blood work goes. The hospital never called yesterday with the results. Zach had diarrhea and was very sick at his stomach yesterday so they prescribed Phenergan to take along with the Zofran. He will want to sleep more but maybe he can eat a little better and maybe able to stand up without getting sick. He is getting weaker everyday and just wants to lay around. He weighed 78.6 lbs. or something like that last Thursday and yesterday he weighed 75.5 lbs. so he is losing weight pretty fast. He tries to eat and thinks he is hungry and he'll take a bite and that is all he wants. He is drinking alot though. Mostly wants water and gatorade. My dad, Carissa, Kristi, and Hailey got here last night around 6:00 or 6:30 so he was happy to see them. Daddy and his Bubba had to leave though so it was sad. He was really worried that Dad would fall asleep on the way home. Then he said "But my dad is smart and will stop and go to sleep if he gets sleepy." What a trooper, more worried about everyone else than himself. He has already had diarrhea this morning twice, a bath, and meds. He says he "hates the chemo for making his stomach hurt so bad." My poor baby! I don't know what is on the agenda for today. Everyone is still asleep. I think Amber (my cousin) is going to take Sam and Carissa swimming so Me, Zach, Kristi and Dad will probably just hang out here. We might go to Wal Mart if Zach is up to it. I have to get more meds. I don't have any new pictures yet. I will tonight or tomorrow though. I want to thank everyone who writes to Zach. He just loves it when I read him all the e-mails. It puts a smile on his face.

Sunday, June 8, 2003 11:29 PM CDT

Well, did you guys think I forgot about you? I didn't. We have been in Raymondville, TX at Dimas' mom's house. Zach has had some bouts of diarrhea and vomiting all weekend. The medicine I give him controlled it pretty well though. He is really weak though. Doesn't have very much energy and isn't eating very much at all. We go in for blood work tomorrow so I'll let everyone know as soon as I can how his counts are. His Grandma Vina bought him his HULK hands this weekend so he is very happy. He even sleeps with them! We also got him some HULK shoes. I guess next he'll want us to paint him green! He is pretty excited about tomorrow. His PaPa Ronnie, Carissa, Aunt Kristi, and Hailey are coming tomorrow. We are both pretty sad though that Dad will be leaving to go back home. Well I better get to bed. We are leaving really early in the morning back to Houston so I better get some shut eye. Hugs and kisses!

Wednesday, June 4, 2003 9:50 PM CDT

Hello everyone,
I know it is late but I have been washing clothes and cleaning all day. Tomorrow after Zach's treatment we are going to South Texas (Raymondville) to see Zach's great grandmother and lots of Tio's, Tia's and cousins. We thought we would give Uncle Mark and Aunt Dorletta a much needed break for the weekend. They have been so wonderful to us. Zach has been having some nausea and is very tired but other than that he is still doing good. He has been eating good too. He spends his days playing playstation (Incredible Hulk game) with his dad, bubba, sister and Sergio and playing with his cousins Ali and Ruben. Yesterday he wanted to go to the mall in Katy, TX. It has the huge Bass Pro Shop. He loves to just go and walk around (ride around for him). His Grandma Vina has been making him homemade tortillas everyday and cooking all of his favorites. We are all going to be 20lbs heavier when she leaves. Tomorrow he has chemo. We have to be there by 8:00 am and will be there till sometime after lunch. Then we will be traveling to Raymondville so I won't be able to update you guys till tomorrow night sometime. Please keep Zach in your prayers.
Till tomorrow..........................

Monday, June 2, 2003 9:57 PM CDT

I know, I know, it's late and I haven't updated yet. Sorry guys! We went in this morning and had blood drawn. His counts are still up so he can get chemo as planned on Thursday. He is still turning his head to one side really bad and gets tired but he has been really happy today. Couldn't be because the rest of the gang got here and his Grandma Vina and Sergio came to stay for a few days and his Grandpa Donce stopped in for the day. Uncle Mark and Aunt Dorletta have a house full now. God Bless them for letting us stay here during this long ordeal. It is thundering really loud so hopefully we'll get some rain tonight. Good sleeping weather! Well, time for lights out. I will let you know how he does this week. Love to all!

Saturday, May 31, 2003 9:31 PM CDT

Hello everyone,
We are out of the hospital and staying in Spring at my Aunts house. Zach is really doing good today. We took him to the mall in the Woodlands and then to Target and he did really well. He has been weak so he rode in his wheelchair. Mom and I are wanting to get us some Zofran because it must make you "happy". Zach has been a character all day. Really full of energy and has had us laughing so hard we were crying. I'm glad he hasn't lost his sense of humor. He is really excited that tomorrow night his Dad, sister, bubba, and Chicarita will be here. I'm excited too!! Although that means Mom has to leave and we really wish she could stay too. She has been a BIG help not only physically but for moral support. Zach's "port" area is still really sore but it is getting better everyday. He has been turning his head quite a bit and a little unsteady but he has, like I said, been full of it. Please pray for more days like today.
Our love to all!

Friday, May 30, 2003 7:29 AM CDT

Good morning everyone!
Zach had a good restful night. They did his last blood draw at 10:00 pm and we went to sleep. He woke up just once to go to the bathroom and get a drink of water. They kept giving him zofran throughout the day and night yesterday to keep him from getting nauseated. It worked! So far so good. He got up to go to the bathroom this morning and he got a little queasy but I think it was from getting up too fast. He is drinking a cappuccino that his cop grandma went and got for him so he is happy at the moment. He is ready to get out of this place. They draw his blood one more time at 12:00 pm and then they'll discharge us. Dad promised him the Incredible Hulk playstation 2 game went it came out so we have to make a pit stop at Target or Walmart on the way to Spring. He is counting the days till his dad, sister, and Bubba (oh and of course Chicarita) will be here. I promise to keep everyone informed over the weekend on how he is doing. Monday he comes back to the hospital for labs and then on Thursday he'll have another treatment. This will be the schedule throughout treatment. He sends his love to all and really enjoys reading everyone's messages.
Bye for now!

Thursday, May 29, 2003 11:26 AM CDT

Good morning all,
Zach is in really good spirits today. He got to talk to his dad, sister, bubba, and Chicarita this morning. He has been playing Nintendo 64 all morning. They have started his chemo and so far so good. They are also doing blood draws every so often for the study he is on and they gave him some Zofran to help keep him from getting nauseated during his treatment. The area where he got his port is really sore so they gave him some tylenol with codiene. He ate breakfast really well and finally got a coke so was happy. I will write more this evening and let everyone know how he does later on after treatment is over.
Love to all!

Wednesday, May 28, 2003 3:04 PM CDT

Hello everyone!
Zach came out of surgery okay. He was a little sore so they drugged him up with morphine. He is a little out of it though. We will be staying in the hospital till Friday so that they can keep an eye on him and so that he can begin his chemo tomorrow. Yeah! Hospital food! We are in room 1026. He just finished eating a cheeseburger and is wanting more (he ate half and then threw it up and now wants to finish). At least he still has an appetite. He is wanting to use the computer to watch a movie so I'll write more tomorrow. He is the boss you know!!!!!

Monday, May 26, 2003 1:03 AM CDT

I just wanted to let everyone know that we will be heading out Tuesday morning for Houston. We will be using this e-mail address while there deputybaize@aol.com. Feel free to e-mail us anytime. I will also be keeping the web page updated daily (I hope). We will be staying at my Aunt Dorletta's house while in Houston. The address is Dorletta Hildebrand, 3411 Berry Grove, Spring, TX 77388. Please continue to keep Zach in your thoughts and prayers and our family as well.

Saturday, May 24, 2003 0:22 AM CDT

Well everyone, we are back from Houston with devastating news. The tumor is growing and spreading so we will have to go back to Houston and stay for a while. Zach will be starting on a new trial that will involve chemo through the veins once a week for 4 weeks and then he'll be off two. He has to have a port put in and so he is very nervous. He gets this done on Wednesday the 28th and will start treatment on the 29th. My mom will be going with us so that Dimas can stay here with the other two until they finish school. They are out on the 30th. He will then bring them to Houston. Please feel free to come by and see Zach before we leave on Tuesday morning. Please continue to keep him and our family in your prayers.................

Tuesday, May 20, 2003 0:56 AM CDT

Well everyone we are headed out for Houston. Please pray for us on our long journey and also pray for good results. His MRI is scheduled for Wednesday May 21st at 7:45am. Then we meet with Dr. Blaney on Thursday at 9:00am for the results. We are all pretty nervous at this point. I don't know how long we will be gone but I will try and add new entries with updates daily. Thank you all who continue to sign Zach's guestbook. I read these to him and it makes him smile. Love to you all!

Tuesday, May 13, 2003 10:56 AM CDT

Good morning everyone!

Just to let you know we have added some pictures to the photo album so be sure and check them out. Zach just woke up and he read all the messages sent by all of you and it made him smile. He is really tired today he said. Yesterday he had some bouts of dizziness. That concerns me but only 1 week till we go to Houston so I guess we'll find out what is going on then. To get off the subject, Sam hit a grand slam last night with bases loaded. It was awesome! She also turned two double plays. She had a really good night. I think counceling is helping. She seems to be in a better mood these days too. As for Anthony, can't really tell yet. Well, that is all I have for now. Take care everyone and remember to pray for Zach.

Monday, May 12, 2003 9:38 AM CDT

Just a little update on the Relay For Life we participated in this past weekend. Our team, Zach's Maniacs raised over $1300.00 for the American Cancer Society and over-all our town raised probably around $35,000.00. Way to go Artesia!!! I will let you know exactly how much our town raised when I find out. I really appreciate all the help from everyone who walked with us. You guys are truly special. This money went to a very special cause....Finding a cure! Zach is really exhausted after this weekend but in very good spirits. He had a really good time with all of his family being together. It meant alot to him. We will be leaving the 20th of May for Houston. He has another MRI scheduled for the 21st. He is having lots of symptoms that the tumor could be growing so please keep him in your prayers. I would also like to ask everyone to keep a very dear friend of ours in your prayers, Lilly Barlow. Her tumors in her liver have spread to her lungs and her blood counts are way to low for her to continue with chemo. She had a transfusion and it didn't work so they are going to try blood platelets. She is very weak and tired. I'm going to go for now but I will keep everyone updated on Zach as much as possible. Take Care!

Saturday, May 10, 2003 9:37 PM CDT

We had a very busy weekend. We had a team in the Relay For Life called Zach's Maniacs. We did really well. Our team raised a little over $1300.00. In all, the Relay raised over $31,000.00. Pretty good for a small town. Zach is really tired though. Thanks to all who donated for this special cause.

Click here to go back to the main page.

----End of History----