History

Wednesday, December 14, 2011 10:59 AM CST

We had another great time this year planning and organizing the toy drive. This is the 7th year we have had the Josh Brestel Birthday Safari and Toy Drive. On Saturday we had a wonderful turnout and collected so many toys. Our theme this year was “Family”. Josh’s Grandpa Brestel joined him in Heaven this year and some of his memorial money was given to the toy drive. Steve and I had a good time going shopping. We had a special table at the toy drive to display these toys. It included some wonderful pictures of Josh and Grandpa together.

Yesterday we had a wonderful time celebrating Josh’s birthday by delivering the toys. In the morning we took 12 large construction garbage bags and 1 box of toys to St. Elizabeth. We had a great time and were able to visit and help take toys to radiology and pediatrics.

In the afternoon, we made a trip to Omaha to deliver toys to Children’s. We were able to visit the H/O clinic and do some catching up.

This is always such good therapy for Steve and I. We love spending Josh’s birthday being able to deliver the toys.

Jess is in the middle of finals week at the University of Nebraska at Kearney. She was lucky and didn’t have finals on Tuesday. So she was able to come back and help us deliver in the morning. With the weather not so great, she took off early and wasn’t able to go the Children’s.

We were so lucky to have both Tyler and Jess back for the Toy Drive. It just would not be the same without Josh’s brother and sister. Again we had great family and friends who helped make it another great success. Thanks so much to all who helped and donated.

Diane

Wednesday, September 7, 2011 9:43 AM CDT

September 7, 2003 - D day

D day is the day every parent with a child who has or had cancer remembers forever. Diagnosis day. You remember it like it was yesterday. The feeling in your stomach when you hear the doctor tell you your 3 year old son has a tumor. The tears in your eyes when you have to call you husband and tell him. So many questions of what the future holds not only for your sick child but the whole family. Little do you know how much the diagnosis of cancer will change a family.

So many of these changes are horrific. All the pain your child will endure. The parties, holidays, etc that are missed due to hospital stays. The look on his little face when he wants you to take away the pain and you are helpless. Most of all the forever break in your heart when you hold him as he takes his last breath.

But if you only focus on the bad, you will miss out on all the good. All the strength and courage your warrior displays along the journey. All the wonderful, wonderful people you meet along the way. How close your immediate and extended family has grown while facing this together. All the wonderful memories of his sweet personality. All the good that is now done to honor him.

Joshua Steven Brestel you will forever be missed by your family, friends and even people who never had the privilege of meeting you.

Josh I live my life to honor you.

Monday, December 6, 2010 8:22 AM CST

Wow it has been a year since I have updated.

The toy drive is this coming weekend. I am really looking forward to this year's party. I think it will be a huge success again. This year we have the group "No Better Cause" stopping by to entertain us for a while. Josh loved this group and was able to see them perform in September 2004. We bought their CD and this is what we listened to in the van all the time.

I hope to see lots of people on Saturday for a huge toy drive. Next Monday, Josh's birthday, we will deliver all the toys to Children's and St. E's. This is always a great way to celebrate Josh's birthday.

Diane

Wednesday, December 16, 2009 9:03 PM CST

The toy drive was a huge success again. We had a great turn out and collected lots of toys and gift cards. Josh's birthday was Sunday the 13th. We did our usually and ate at Applebee's with family.

We collected 20 large bags of toys, 5 boxes and $900 in gift cards. On Monday we delivered to St. Elizabeth's in the morning. In the afternoon we took a load to Children's in Omaha. We got to visit the clinic and 5th floor and talk to some wonderful people who took care of Josh.

Thank you so much to everyone who helped with the party and a huge thank you to everyone who donated toys and gift cards. We are still getting toys and gift cards. So we will make a second delivery after the new year.

Now that the party is over, I need to finish my Christmas shopping. I am not looking forward to the crowds and stores.

I hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas. Please remember all the kids fighting cancer in your prayers. Also remember all the families that are spending Christmas without their loved ones this year.

Diane

Tuesday, December 1, 2009 11:23 AM CST

We love you Josh and miss you very much! Oh the joy when we are united again.

MEMORIES OF MY SON

Pictures of yesterday, happened upon.
Sweet, precious pictures of you, my son.
They're from a time that can't be erased.
And my heart fairly breaks as I gaze on your face.

Stirrings arouse in me...words can't explain.
I want to go back, but I can never again.
Such a sweet pleasant child, how I wish you were here.
To reassure me with hugs and your own special cheer.

To see your beautiful smile just one more time.
And hear that you love me, would make everything fine.
Though I yearn for all this. I know it can't be.
Oh God, why on earth did this happen to me?

The pain of losing you is so hard to bear,
I hurt so badly, does anyone care?
This is not what was supposed to be,
I want and need my son; can't you see?

I want to love him and care for him and have lots of fun.
And I'm sad, because those days will never come.
Instead, a precious life was cut short,
Four years of memories are my moral support.

I'm trying to live--day by day.
How can I do this? I wish it weren't this way.
This love for you is mine to keep;
Pain is the price for the love so deep.

You're with me every day, you live in my heart
And none of this will ever depart.
I'll look at your pictures, and remember with love,
Because you're at peace now...with God above.

~Unknown

"REMEMBRANCE"

You can shed tears that he is gone,
or you can smile because he has lived.
You can close your eyes
and pray that he'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all he has left.
You heart can be empty
because you can't see him,
or you can be full of
the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow
and live yesterday, or you
can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday
You can remember him and only that he's gone,
or you can cherish his memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind, be empty, and turn your back,
or you can do what he'd want:
Smile, Open Your Eyes,
Love and Go on.
(author unknown)

EMPTINESS

Our Hearts still ache,
Our tears still flow.
There's an emptiness inside us,
Because we miss you so.
Since you were taken from us,
We feel you in the breeze,
We hear you in the raindrops,
And in the rustling trees.
We know your watching down on us,
Guiding us in all we do,
Until we are together again,
We hold dearly our memories of you.

SAFELY HOME

I am home in Heaven, dear ones;
Oh, so happy and so bright!
There is perfect joy and beauty
In this everlasting light.

All the pain and grief is over,
Every restless tossing passed;
I am now at peace forever,
Safely home in Heaven at last.

Did you wonder I so calmly
Trod the valley of the shade?
Oh! but Jesus' love illumined
Every dark and fearful glade.

And He came Himself to meet me
In that way so hard to tread;
And with Jesus' arm to lean on
Could I have one doubt or dread?

Then you must not grieve so sorely,
For I love you dearly still:
Try to look beyond earth's shadows,
Pray to trust our Father's Will.

There is work still waiting for you,
So you must not idly stand;
Do it now, while life remaineth-
You shall rest in Jesus' land.

When that work is all completed,
He will gently call you Home;
Oh, the rapture of that meeting,
Oh, the joy to see you come!

------------------------------

When God calls little children
to dwell with Him above,
We mortals sometimes question
the wisdom of His love.
For no heartache compares with,
the death of one small child.
Who does so much to make our world,
seem so wonderful and mild.
Perhaps God tires of calling
the aged to His fold.
So He picks a rosebud
before it can grow old.
God knows how much we need them,
and so He takes but few.
To make the land of heaven
more beautiful to view.
Believing this is difficult
still somehow we must try.
The saddest word mankind knows
will always be Good-bye.
So when a little child departs,
we who are left behind,
Must realize God loves children.
ANGELS ARE HARD TO FIND!

Sunday, October 11, 2009 5:43 PM CDT

I know it is way too long since I have updated this page. Time seems to get away from me. I want to start out by talking about a wonderful event going on right now.

The Pablove Foundation is an awesome foundation started by the Castelaz family in honor of their amazing son Pablo. Pablo had Wilm’s tumor and passed away June 27 just 6 years and 6 days old. I have following his page for a while now (http://getwellpablo.blogspot.com). Pablo’s dad Jeff does an amazing job of writing on the page. I love to read his thoughts and feelings. It takes me back to 5 years ago when Josh was at the end of his battle.

Well Jeff is a huge cyclist and he is currently cycling across America to bring awareness for childhood cancer. I so wished they would be closer to Nebraska so I could meet them along the route. Each day he is dedicating to a different child. Today was dedicated to Zachery Green from Florida. Zachery like Pablo and Josh is an angel and watching the race from his heavenly home. What a view. I had the pleasure of meeting Steve, Zachery’s dad, on a couple of our trips to D.C. for CureSearch. Check out www.pablove.org to read more about “Pablove Across America”. Each day Jeff will add a video about who he will dedicate the next day to. They are doing a great job of honoring their sweet boy Pablo and also raising awareness.

Well I haven’t updated since the last toy drive. We are gearing up for the next. It will be the 5th toy drive and Josh’s 10th birthday. I hope we have another successfully year of delivering toys to the hospitals. December 1 will mark 5 years since Josh left us for his eternal home. It hurts just as much today as it did 5 years ago. 5 years of memories we missed out on making with Josh. You look back and so much has happened in the last 5 years that Josh was not physically with us for. We miss you so much Joshua Steven.

Well clear the sidewalks Jess is 16 and driving. Yes you read that right. I have so many mixed emotions about this. I like not having to haul her all over town for her activities but the thought of her behind the wheel scares me. So much can happen even though she does a great job of driving. She is a junior this year and currently playing volleyball. She really enjoys school even though she doesn’t always admit it. She had her first college campus visit this fall. That is so hard to believe in less than 2 years she will be a college student.

Jess has also started volunteering for Mourning Hope. She loves it and the kids love her. I also think it helps her to share memories of her little brother. Grief is an ongoing process and something we will all deal with for the rest of our lives. Steve and I have both facilitated groups for Mourning Hope and will continue when volleyball is over.

Please remember all the families affected by cancer. Pray for the ones in remission to continue to have good health. Remember the ones still fighting or fighting again. Pray for the current treatments to be the cure. Also remember the families trying to survive without their loved ones. Pray for them to feel the presence of their child as they struggle to go on.

Thanks so much for continuing to check on us and remembering our sweet Josh. We miss him so much every day.

Diane

Sunday, December 21, 2008 7:50 PM CST

Merry Christmas to Everyone!!

I thought I better get on and update before the coming week got away from us. December has been a very busy and emotional month for us.

December 1 marked 4 years since we have physically had Joshua with us. We still miss him so much and ache to hold him tight in our arms. It is one of those days you wish you could just roll up in a ball and sleep the day away. However that is not always possible. Jess had school and Steve and I both worked. Jess had a hard day so I left work early and picked her up after school. We then stopped by the cemetery on the way home. Joshua being the sweet little boy he has always been made sure to let Jess know that he was with her all day. During her study hall at school she went to the library to find a new book to read. She was just not in the mood to pick out a book and seemed to be lost. The librarian asked her if she wanted some help and Jess said sure. The librarian suggested a book to her. It was about a little girl who lived across the street from a zoo. The little girl loved to watch the animal and her favorite was the elephants. Of course Jess checked the book out. When she told me the story, I told her it was Josh’s way of letting her know he is watching. Also as we left the cemetery, Jess was driving. There is a lot of road construction and we can not take the regular way home. So we decided to try a new way home. As we are driving on streets we have never been on, we come to the intersection of Joshua Drive. Needless to say Jess took a left and we drove on Joshua Drive. I think we might have a new way home from the cemetery. I could tell it made Jess’ day to know her little bother was with her and watching out for her.

We had another great and very successful toy drive. This year the party was actually on Josh’s 9th birthday, December 13. We had a great time and collected so many great toys. The highlight of the party was the magic show. The Magic Man, Gavin Brion, put on a great show and everyone loved him. Gavin is Angel Brooke’s big brother. Another highlight was we were able to enjoy Brooke’s little brother, Blake. He is now walking everywhere. He was so cute and loved checking out all the toys. The Rech (Kris, Ali, Wyatt) family again came down from MN for the party. We always love having them for the weekend. In the evening we did our usual on Josh’s birthday and ate at Applebee’s.

On Monday the 15th, we had the fun of delivering all the toys. In the morning we delivered to Children’s. We took them 16 bags and 4 boxes of toys and $730 in gift cards. We also stopped by the clinic for a quick visit. We didn’t spend too much time because they were so busy.

In the afternoon, we delivered 15 bags and 2 boxes to St. E’s in Lincoln. They are always so very excited to get the toys. They did tell us they just used the last of the toys from last year. They take all the toys out and put them under the Christmas tree and take lots of pictures.

Everyone always tells us thank you so much for all you do for the children. I don’t think people realize how much it helps us also. We do this for Josh, us and the other children. We just could not face never celebrating Josh’s birthday. We had to do something. It is very therapeutic for us.

Thank you such much to everyone who helped with the party. The Rech family, our wonderful families and all the great friends who attend. We could never do this without you all.

We wish everyone a very Merry Christmas. I hope you are surrounded by all those you love. Those who have lost a loved one may their wonderful memories bring you joy. Remember they are attending the most glorious birthday party ever.

Merry Christmas.

The Brestels
Steve, Diane, Tyler, Jess and Josh

Wednesday, November 26, 2008 10:12 AM CST

Monday, September 29, 2008 3:08 PM CDT

First I must say HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESSICA!!!! Today Jessica is 15. I have updated the pictures to include some of Josh and Jess together. I am so proud of her. She is really becoming a very wonderful young lady.

I have been trying to get an update done all month but sometimes I find it so hard. September is a very busy and emotional month.

September 7, 2003, Josh was diagnosed with cancer. It was the start of our journey into the realm of childhood cancer.

September is also Childhood Cancer Awareness Month. We are getting to the end of the month and very little is done to recognize it.

If someone asks “what can I do”, direct them to www.curesearch.org/wilmstumor and ask them to donate to the Wilms Initiative. Go down the page to “Fund the Cure” and click on “Donate Now”. All money donated here will be designated to the Wilm’s Initiative. We are getting very close to the $200,000 mark.

Jess and I will be meeting the Rech family in Kansas City this weekend. We will be going to Worlds of Fun for all the rides and in the evening will be enjoying all the haunts. A good time will be had by all I am sure.

Jess has been very busy with volleyball. She made JV team at her high school. She is a starter and was named a team captain. Way to go Jess!!

The dance Jess and Jordan had to benefit the toy drive was a huge success. We collected lots of great toys and also some gift cards. Everyone had a great time.

The toy drive will be held this year on Josh’s Birthday, December 13. We already have a good supply of toys collected.

I have a few prayer requests. First please visit http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/emmajordon
Princess Emma became an angel on September 19, 2008. She passed away while on her wish trip to Disney. We had the great honor to meet Emma and her family in D.C. during Reach the Day 2007.

Samantha Crowell was a wonderful 18 year old who passed away on September 5, 2008. Wow she lived life to the fullest right until the end. Please stop by and leave a note for her family. http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/samanthacrowell

My next prayer request is for the mother of a Wilm’s Angel that I had to opportunity to meet. Steve and I attended Kyle Reed’s funeral in March 2006. We were able to meet his parents in person after meeting via emails and caringbridge. In July 2008, Paula, Kyle’s mother, was diagnosed with breast cancer. She has since had a couple surgeries and has started chemo. It is so unfair for a family to lose a child to cancer but then to have to face the fight again. This is a very scary time for Paula and her family. Please stop by her page and please leave some words of encouragement. http://www.caringbridge.org/ia/kyle/

Thanks.

Diane

Thursday, July 31, 2008 3:33 PM CDT

Hello,

So much has happened since I have last updated. The Conquer Childhood Cancer Act has passed. On June 12, 2008, the house passed their version (HR1553). Then on July 16, 2008, it was passed in the Senate (SR911).

On July 29, 2008, President Bush signed the bill and it became Public Law No. 110-285. So many families have worked to hard for this. All the families that attend Reach the Day for the past few years and the team leaders of Curesearch that go to Washington D.C. both in June and January played a huge part in getting this passed.

Steve and I were very lucky compared to some states. Most of our Congressmen were very supportive of the bill from the very beginning. Some took a little more convincing but came around. Both senators and all 3 representatives voted for the bill when it went to the floor.

The very exciting news is that our buddy Wyatt was in the Oval Office when the bill was signed. Wyatt and Kris went to D.C. and both were in attendance along with other families. We are very proud of the Rech family for all they have done. Senator Coleman from MN along with Jack Reed from RI were the original co-sponsors of the senate bill. Wyatt and Senator Coleman have become very good buddies. Check out the link to see a picture http://curesearchnccf.blogspot.com/ also check out Wyatt's page www.caringbridge.org/mn/wyattrech. Also check out YouTube for (Wyatt’s Mom) a great ad that is running in MN now. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mgppRsY_rEw

Jess and her cousin Jordan are keeping us busy these days. They are hosting a dance and inviting their friends. It will be a fund raiser for the Josh Brestel Toy Drive. All kids are asked to bring a toy to donate. They are very excited and have us running around getting everything planned. It is called “A Night with the Star”. It will have a red carpet, lots of pictures, and everyone will dress up like their favorite movie or music star. It is also a great way to end the summer and get ready for school to start.

Jess’ first day is August 21. Volleyball will start on the 18th. She has been playing all summer in different leagues and camps.

We are looking forward to this weekend. The Rech family will be down for a visit and then Ali will be staying with us for the week. Jess is so excited.

Diane

Sunday, June 15, 2008 4:28 PM CDT

Happy Father’s Day...
From Your Angel in Heaven

Oh, dearest Daddy
What can I say today
To help mend your broken heart
On this Father’s Day?

You know I would be there with you
If only there was a way
Although I am in Heaven now
It’s in your heart I will always stay.

Just like you where always there for me
I will always be there for you.
Just look for a sign and you will see me
In each sunrise...and each sunset too.

Remember the game we used to play?
“How much do I love you?” you’d say with a smile.
But this time MY arm are outstretched so far
For my love for you goes on for miles and miles.

My love for you daddy
will always be true.
You are the best daddy in the world
And that includes the Heavens too!

So I’m sending all my love
to you from Heaven today.
And remember I will be with you
Just look for me on this Father’s Day.

I love you daddy!
from your angel in Heaven above

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY TO MY HUSBAND and all the other fathers.

The CureSearch Milestones walk in Omaha was again a huge success. The total raised for the day was over $218,000. We had 7 teams walking for the Wilm’s Initiative. The top team for the day was Sadie Bug. They were one of the 7 walking for the Initiative. Their team total was over $28,000.

Following is a copy of a news release from CureSearch. The house version of the Conquer Childhood Cancer Act passed unanimously in the house.

Also following is part of an email we received from Kate at CureSearch regarding one of the Nebraska Representatives and his part in getting the bill passed.

“Hi Diane and Steve,

I wanted to let you know that during the debate on the House floor on Wednesday evening that Congressman Lee Terry led the remarks on the Republican side. He made a very nice presentation and seemed truly moved by the moment.

Thanks
Kate”

CureSearch Praises Passage of the
“Caroline Pryce Walker Conquer Childhood Cancer Act”
in U.S. House of Representatives

Children with Cancer and their Families to Benefit from Landmark Legislation

June 12, 2008 (Bethesda, MD) – CureSearch National Childhood Cancer Foundation salutes the United States House of Representatives for passage of H.R. 1553, the “Caroline Pryce Walker Conquer Childhood Cancer Act,” which promises to significantly increase federal investment into childhood cancer research.

During markup of the legislation, the bill was renamed the Caroline Pryce Walker Conquer Childhood Cancer Act of 2008, in memory of Caroline Pryce Walker, daughter of Congresswoman Deborah Pryce (R-OH), who succumbed to neuroblastoma in 1999 at age nine.

The bill authorizes $30 million annually over five years, providing funding for collaborative pediatric cancer clinical trials research, to create a population-based national childhood cancer database, and to further improve public awareness and communication regarding available treatments and research for children with cancer and their families.

“For far too long, children suffering from pediatric cancer have gotten short shrift on federal resources,” said Pryce, original author of this groundbreaking legislation.

“The bill we passed today dramatically expands federal investment into childhood cancer research and education, and will make an historic difference in the lives of the more than 12,000 children who will be diagnosed with cancer each year. A nation with our resources, our scientists, our committed doctors and oncologists, and our inherent and insuppressible fighting spirit can and should do more to put an end to so much suffering.”

Congressman Chris Van Hollen (D-MD), one of the original co-sponsors of the Carolyn Walker Pryce Conquer Childhood Cancer Act, stated that conquering childhood cancer has transcended partisan politics, and addresses a critical national issue that is finally receiving the attention it deserves.

“I am pleased that the House passed this important legislation, which will bring us one step closer to eradicating pediatric cancer,” said Van Hollen. “This bill will enhance and expand pediatric cancer research activities at the National Institutes of Health, establish a pediatric cancer registry, and increase informational and educational outreach efforts to patients and families affected by pediatric cancer. No child should have to experience and suffer the effects of cancer, and no parent should have to see their child suffer.”

CureSearch supports the life-saving research of the Children’s Oncology Group, the world’s premier cancer research collaborative. Treating 90f children with cancer, the Children’s Oncology Group includes more than 5,000 experts in childhood cancer research and treatment, located at more than 200 leading children’s and university hospitals across North America.

"The Caroline Pryce Walker Conquer Childhood Cancer Act allows for translation of the very best research discoveries into clinical evaluation and practice, in order to improve the cure rates for all children with cancer,” noted Gregory Reaman, MD, Chair of the Children’s Oncology Group. “Only research cures childhood cancer. On behalf of my colleagues in the Children’s Oncology Group and the children with cancer and their families who are our partners in clinical research, we thank our Congressional leaders.”

“On behalf of CureSearch, we applaud the steadfast leadership of Representatives Chris Van Hollen and Deborah Pryce and their colleagues in the House who through the passage of this bill have made finding the cure for childhood cancer an urgent national priority,” said Stacy Pagos Haller, Executive Director, CureSearch.

Companion legislation in the United States Senate (S.911), sponsored by Senator Jack Reed (D-RI), cleared the Senate Health, Education, Labor and Pensions (HELP) Committee unanimously in November, 2007. The Senate version of the Conquer Childhood Cancer Act currently has 63 co-sponsors; a full Senate floor vote on the bill is expected this summer.

# # #

Thanks so much to everyone who continue to check in on us. Leave a note and let us know you stopped by.

Photos have been updated.

Diane

Thursday, January 31, 2008 1:34 PM CST

Monday, February 4

Our hearts are breaking for the Livers family. Their sweet liitle girl Sadie passed away last night. She has been fighting relapse Wilm's. Please stop by her site (www.caringbridge.org/visit/sadieliver)and show your support.

Diane

Hello Everyone,

It’s Dad’s turn to update. I hope everyone had a great holiday season. Ours was the usual bittersweet. We love spending time with our families but there is always that empty spot at the table, during the gift exchange, etc.

It is an exciting time for our CureSearch team. On the 14-16, I traveled out to Washington D.C. to the annual CureSearch team leader's meeting. For those who don’t know, Diane and I are CureSearch team leaders for Nebraska. Every January, I go out for instruction and to meet with the members of congress to advocate for children with cancer. We do this because the children can’t do it for themselves. This year’s meeting was very productive for Nebraska. After three years of sharing our cancer story and much begging, Senator Ben Nelson has signed on as a co-sponsor of the Conquer Childhood Cancer Act. This is a bill CureSearch is working to get through congress. He also agreed to help CureSearch with appropriation requests. We now have both senators (Hagel & Nelson) and 2 representatives (Terry & Fortenberry) signed on as co-sponsors. We need help in the third district to get Adrian Smith to sign on. It would be fantastic to have our whole contingent as co-sponsors. It is always great to go to D.C. and see old friends and meet new ones with so much in common. We all want to reach the day when every child will be guaranteed a cure.

Jess has started the second semester of her freshman year. She has stared playing club volleyball. They have their second tournament this Sunday right during the super bowl. She loves it and we have a great time with all the families. They will be playing in a tournament in Denver the first weekend in March. She is really looking forward to it. This spring she will either do soccer or track at school. She is having a hard time deciding. She likes them both.

Diane and Jess delivered some more toys to St. Elizabeth’s here in Lincoln and we all delivered more gift cards to Children’s. Overall we delivered just over $1200 in gift cards and a van and a half of toys. We have actually heard from a few people who received gifts while in the hospital. It is great to hear the personal stories on how these gifts help other children. Thank you so much to everyone who donates and helps with the toy drive.

In the coming months, Diane and I will start training with Mourning Hope. Mourning Hope is the grief group we all attend. We will train to be facilitators and help lead classes in the future. Mourning Hope has really become a huge part of our lives. I have given several talks at different businesses around Lincoln for Mourning Hope and United Way. We still attend a couple nights a month.

Our next big project is the upcoming Milestones Walk held in Omaha. The walk this year is June 7 from 8-10 a.m. Last year the walk raised over $100,000 for CureSearch. We had 8 teams that walked for the Wilm’s Initiative. Not all teams physically walked but started a team and raised money in their own states. We raised $16,063 for the Initiative. Two Wilm’s teams were in the top 10 money raising teams for the walk (Sadie Q’s Crew-4th and Josh’s Dudes-8th). We will again have teams walking for the Wilm’s Initiative. I hope to get even more teams and raise more money.

Josh’s Dudes will again have a team. I think this year we should aim for at least the top 5 overall. I know it can be done. We have so many wonderful Dudes (friends and family) who are dedicated and help so much with the cause. Let us know if you want to be on the team. If you can’t attend the walk, you can still be part of the team. Diane will be contacting everyone in the near future.

I will finish up with a couple prayer requests. Please pray for Sadie (relapse Wilm’s) and Hannah (relapse Ewings sarcoma). They have both recently relapsed and could use some prayers and words of encouragement.

www.caringbridge.org/visit/sadielivers
www.caringbridge.org/visit/hannahknudsen

Steve

Monday, December 17, 2007 4:43 PM CST

Okay the toy drive is over and my Christmas shopping is done so I can sit down and give everyone an update.

Josh’s birthday party toy drive was December 9. We had another great year. Josh’s cousin, Mandy, and her friends had a cake walk for the kids. There were crafts for the kids to do, lots of goodies to enjoy, and of course friends and families to visit with. We collected lots of toys again. Thanks so much to everyone who attended and helped with the party.

The Rech family from MN came down for the weekend. We always have such a great time. On Saturday, we met the Mathis family at Val’s for our usual “family reunion”.

On December 13, Josh’s 8th birthday, we delivered the toys. In the morning, we delivered a van load of toys to St. Elizabeth here in Lincoln. They are always so thankful for all they receive. All the toys were unpacked and displayed. St. Elizabeth’s took lots of picture. I will share when I receive some.

In the afternoon, we delivered to Children’s. We delivered to them 3 bags of craft like items, a box of movies, and another bag of misc. items. We also gave them $900 in gift cards. They were so excited about the large amount. They will be able to do lots of things with them.

We then took a bag of toys to the Oncology clinic. We were able to visit with all the wonderful nurses and staff.

This year we attached tags to some of the toys donated stating they were donated in honor of Josh. We listed his web page. If you are reading this and received a gift, we would love to hear from you.

In the evening, we met some family and ate at Applebee’s. This was one of Josh’s favorite restaurants. I had the steak dinner and desert he and I would always share.

All in all it was a great day celebrating Josh’s birthday.

Steve will be attending the CureSearch Teamleaders meeting in Washington D.C. in January. I am never able to attend this meeting because of conflicts at work. Someday I hope they change the dates so I can attend.

Everyone remember to write to their Congressmen and ask them to support the Conquer Childhood Cancer Act. Two of the 3 representatives (Fortenberry and Terry) from Nebraska have signed on as co-sponsors and 1 of our senators (Hagel) has also sign on as a co-sponsor.

I wish everyone a wonderful Christmas. Please remember all the families affected by cancer. Pray for the ones in remission to continue to have good health. Remember the ones still fighting or fighting again. Pray for the current treatments to be the cure. Also remember the families celebrating Christmas without their loved ones. Pray for them to feel the presence of their child as they celebrate Jesus. Remember all those sweet angels as attend the most awesome birthday party.

Merry Christmas!

Diane

Friday, November 30, 2007 9:31 PM CST

December 13, 2007

HAPPY 8TH BIRTHDAY JOSHUA!!! WE LOVE AND MISS YOU!!!

I will update more after we deliver toys to Children's and St. E's today. We had another great toy drive on Sunday.

Diane

This was written by a cancer Mom, Carol, who lost her sweet little
Jonathan in July.

I Hope ...

I hope you never have to hear the words, "Your child has cancer."

I hope you never have to hear, "The prognosis is not good."

I hope you never have to prepare to undergo radiation or
chemotherapy, have a port surgically inserted into their chest, or be
connected to IV poles.

Look at you with fear in their eyes and say, "Don't worry Mommy,
everything will be okay.'

I hope you never have to hold your child as they vomit green bile.

I hope you never have to feed them ice chips for lunch.

I hope you never have to watch the "cure" you pray for slowly take
away their identity, as they

lose their hair,

become skeletal,

swell up from steroids,

develop severe acne,

become barely or unable to walk or move,

and look at you with hope in their eyes and say,

"It's going to be okay, Mommy."

I hope that you never have to stay in the hospital for weeks, months,
or years at a time, where there is no privacy, sleeping on a slab,
with your face to the wall, where you cry in muffled silence.

I hope you never have to see a mother, alone, huddled, in a dark
hospital corridor...crying quietly, after just being told, "There is
nothing more we can do."

I hope you never have to watch a family wander aimlessly, minutes
after their child's body has been removed.

I hope you never have to use every bit of energy you have left, with
all of this going on around you to remain positive, and the feelings
of guilt, sorrow, hope and fear, overwhelm you.

I hope you never have to see a child's head bolted to the table as
they receive radiation.

I hope you never have to take your child home (grateful but so
afraid) in a wheelchair because the chemo and radiation has damaged
their muscles, 35 pounds lighter, pale, bald, and scarred.

And they look at you with faith in their eyes and say, "It's going to
be okay Mommy."

I hope you never have to face the few friends that have stuck beside
you and hear them say, "Thank God that is over with,"...because you
know it never will be.

Your life becomes a whirl of doctors, blood tests and MRI's and you
try to get your life back to "normal".

While living in mind-numbing fear that any one of those tests could
result in hearing the dreaded words...

"The cancer has returned" or "The tumor is growing."

And your friends become even fewer.

I hope you never have to experience any of these
things...Because. ..only then...

Will you understand.

Friday, October 19, 2007 9:10 PM CDT

New pictures have been added.

WOW! I really need to get better about updating more often. It is just so hard to think of what to write. If you ask me, we lead a pretty boring life sometimes.

We had a great trip to D.C. the end of June for Reach the Day events. The big topic was the Conquer Childhood Cancer Act. Please take the time to write to your Congressman and ask them to co-sponsor the Act. Just use the logo above. Enter your zip code and it will help you write the letter and get it sent to your Congressman. In Nebraska, 1 senator (Hagel) and 2 representatives (Fortenberry and Terry) have signed on as co-sponsors. Steve will be going back to D.C. in January for a team leaders meeting.

Jess started school in August. The first quarter has just ended and she is doing pretty well adjusting to high school. She was so excited when she made the junior variety volleyball team as a freshman. Their season will end next week. Homecoming was this month. She and a some friends from volleyball all went together as a group. They had a great time.

We had a great time in August celebrating Steve’s parent’s 50th wedding anniversary. It was a great get-together of lots of family.

Jess turned 14 on September 29. We spent the weekend in Kansas City where we met Kris, Wyatt, and Ali Rech. We had a great time on Saturday. We went to Worlds of Fun where after dark all the haunted houses were opened. We all had such a great time.

Steve has been giving several talks around town for Mourning Hope. This is the grief group we all attend. He is getting more comfortable talking in public. Thursday, Jennifer from Mourning Hope asked us to consider training to become facilitators for their sessions. We need to consider if we are ready to start helping others in the early days of their grief. We could still attend the on- going group with Jess.

Now it is time to get very serious about Josh’s birthday party. It will be held on December 9. We will do it pretty much like last year. The toys will be divided between Children’s Hospital in Omaha and St. Elizabeth’s Hospital in Lincoln and we will deliver them on Josh’s birthday, December 13. We already have a few toys thanks to the great people at Pamida in Superior. This is where my mother works. They are always great about purchasing toys when they go on clearance and have a great sale. Of course, I pick toys up throughout the year. I am always checking the clearance isles for great deals. If anyone wants to collect toys, gift cards, etc at work, church, or with a group just let me know and I can get information to you.

Thanks so much for continuing to check on us. Please keep all the kids fighting in your prayers. There have been several relapses of kids from the Wilm’s List Serve and some fighting long term effects of treatment.

Diane

Wednesday, June 13, 2007 9:12 PM CDT

Hello,

The 2nd annual Milestones Childhood Cancer Walk was in Omaha on Saturday. It was a huge success. All together everyone raised just over $100,000, which doubled last year’s total. The team that raised the most money was "Tanner’s Termites", who raised about $10,000. We had 9 teams walking for the Wilm’s Initiative. The preliminary total for the Initiative is $14,067 and we still have some checks coming in. Sadie Q’s Crew was the top Wilm’s team and 4th overall. Josh’s Dudes was the 2nd Wilm’s team and 8th overall. It was a huge success for both CureSearch and the Initiative. Thank you so much for everyone who walked and raised money and to all the people who donated to such an important cause.

We leave for DC in 10 days. We are driving this year. Jess isn’t all that excited about the drive but she is taking along a cousin and they should have a great time together. We are really looking forward to seeing all the wonderful families we have met the past 2 years.

Jess finished school last week. Next step high school. She had her awards day at school last week. She again made us very proud. She was named female athlete of the year for the 3rd year. She received the President’s Award for Educational Excellence. She also received 2 awards for writing and 1 award for math masterminds. Jess was also recognized as one of the Dawes Middle School Student Mediators. Way to go Jess!!!

Thanks everyone for checking on us and keeping Josh in your thoughts.

Happy Father's Day to all the dads on Sunday.

Diane

When God Created Fathers

When the good Lord was creating fathers, He started with a tall frame.

And a female angel nearby said, "What kind of father is that?
If you’re going to make children so close to the ground, why have you put fathers up so high?
He won’t be able to shoot marbles without kneeling, tuck a child in bed without bending, or even kiss a child without a lot of stooping."

And God smiled and said, "Yes, but if I make him child size, who would children have to look up to?"

And when God made a father’s hands, they were large and sinewy.

And the angel shook her head sadly and said, "Do You know what You’re doing? Large hands are clumsy. They can’t manage diaper pins, small buttons, rubber bands on pony tails or even remove splinters caused by baseball bats."

God smiled and said, "I know, but they’re large enough to hold everything a small boy empties from his pockets at the end of a day…yet small enough to cup a child’s face."

Then God molded long, slim legs and broad shoulders.

The angel nearly had a heart attack. "Boy, this is the end of the week, all right," she clucked. "Do You realize You just made a father without a lap? How is he going to pull a child close to him without the kid falling between his legs?"

God smiled and said, "A mother needs a lap. A father needs strong shoulders to pull a sled, balance a boy on a bicycle or hold a sleepy head on the way home from the circus."

God was in the middle of creating two of the largest feet anyone had ever seen when the angel could contain herself no longer. "That’s not fair. Do You honestly think those large boats are going to dig out of bed early in the morning when the baby cries? Or walk through a small birthday party without crushing at least three of the guests?"

And God smiled and said, "They’ll work. You’ll see. They’ll support a small child who wants to "ride a horse to Banbury Cross" or scare off mice at the summer cabin, or display shoes that will be a challenge to fill."

God worked throughout the night, giving the father few words, but a firm authoritative voice; eyes that see everything, but remain calm and tolerant.

Finally, almost as an afterthought, He added tears. Then He turned to the angel and said, "Now are you satisfied that he can love as much as a mother?"

And the angel shutteth up!

Erma Bombeck

Wednesday, May 23, 2007 4:11 PM CDT

WOW! It has been way too long since I have updated. I just seem to struggle sometimes with what to write and finding the time to do an update. Thanks for still checking on us. I hope all the mothers had a great Mother’s Day. Mine is also so bittersweet. We were out of town on Sunday for a graduation. So on Monday morning, Jess brought me breakfast in bed. It was a wonderful surprise. First off she got up early on a school day to make me a wonderful breakfast of eggs and pancakes. Secondly she made it all by herself. Thanks Jess.

We are having a busy year as usual. Jess has finished club volleyball but has started a summer league at the high school she will attend next year. Yes, I said high school. I can not believe she will be a freshman in the fall. So many new things to experience. She will have her last soccer game tomorrow. This is her last year of soccer. She plans to give up club soccer and tryout for volleyball in high school. She also plans to do track. She was on the 8th grade track team this year and really improved. She is on the 4 X 400 relay and the first track meet of the season they set the school record. She also does the hurdles and runs the 400. The last track meet was mother’s day weekend. They all did great. Jess won the hurdles and got second in the 400. The 4 X 400 relay got first and beat the school record they set the first meet of the year. She is planning on doing some camps this summer and looking forward to vacation.

This weekend we are heading to Minnesota to visit the Rech family. Their oldest son, Justin, is graduating on Sunday. We are going to celebrate Justin and get our Wyatt fix in.

We have a team for the Milestones CureSearch Walk for Childhood Cancer. Our team name is Josh’s Dudes. We have several people walking and even more raising money. It should be a great day. All the money we raise as a team will be designated for the Wilm’s Initiative. There are a total of 8 teams walking who will donate to the Initiative. If you would like to donate online, go to www.milestoneswalk.org, click on sponsor a walker, then pick Omaha, and then do a search.

I am sure some of you are wondering how we came up with a team name of Josh’s Dudes. One day when Josh was about 21/2 we were driving home after picking him up at Linda’s (daycare). He was talking away about everything Brent and Charlie did that day. Brent did this. Charlie did this. I remember thinking I didn’t remember Linda saying they had any new kids at daycare. So I asked Josh if Brent and Charlie were new at Linda’s. He giggled and said “No Mom they are my dudes.” So Josh’s imaginary friends, Brent and Charlie, become part of the family. We would hear all about Brent and Charlie. When I bought beta fish for Jess and Josh of course they were named Brent and Charlie. We never did find out where he came up with the terms dudes.

I know I said in the last update that we would not be attending Gold Ribbon Days but plans have changed. We are going to attend. They have changed the format a little this year. There will be a rally at the Capitol. Also this year we are not going to stay at the hotel where the conference is held. The price is getting way too high. So we are staying just outside and taking the metro. The kids like that idea. I am very excited because 3 of Nebraska’s 5 senators and representatives have signed on as sponsors of the Conquer Childhood Act. Hopefully we can do a lot of talking to the other 2 and get them on board. Jess is taking one of her cousins with her this year. So we will also do all the sights of D.C. this year again. We are all looking so forward to the time away.

Thank you so much for continuing to check in on us and for remember our sweet Josh.

Diane

Tuesday, February 6, 2007 11:48 AM CST

I know it has been forever since I have updated. I have been hearing from several people that I need to get on the ball.

We had a great time at the toy drive and again received so many wonderful toys to deliver. On Josh’s birthday we took a full van load to Children’s in the morning. They again were so overwhelmed with the great toys and many gift cards.

After delivering to Children’s and spending some time visiting, we headed back to Lincoln. In the afternoon, we took another van full of toys to St. Elizabeth Hospital. They were so excited to get the toys. They actually had a few people meet us and we all took the toys up to pediatrics. They have plans to also share with some other departments. (ER, burn unit and the oncology clinic) They put an article in their December newsletter (check out photo page)

We had a very wonderful and sweet donation to the toy drive this year. Our nephew, Jordan, had a birthday party in October and instead of getting gifts he asked for gift cards for the toy drive. He donated $190 total. It was such a wonderful thing to do. Josh and Jordan are buddies. There was a great article in the paper on Sunday about Jordan’s wonderful gesture. Just copy and paste the link and scroll to the bottom of the article and look for “Love of Josh is gift enough for 13-year old”. Thanks Jordan!! You are the biggest pest.

http://journalstar.com/articles/2007/02/03/news/local/doc45c51cd0038af815644948.txt

The evening of Josh’s birthday several of us met at Applebee’s for dinner. This has become a tradition. He loved to eat at Applebee’s. Josh and I would share a sirloin steak and then have a wonderful desert together. There was a Applebee’s close to Children’s also. Steve and I made a trip over a few times to bring Josh his steak. It was so much better than hospital food.

Josh’s 7th birthday was a great success. We had a great time celebrating Josh by delivering so many toys in his name. We also were able to share the day with some of our great family who also loves Josh so much.

Christmas was of course both happy and sad. We miss Josh so much on the Holidays. It is also happy because we were able to spend time with both families. We were at Steve’s parents the few days before Christmas and then back to Lincoln for Christmas eve and Christmas. Christmas day we headed to my parent’s. Jess and I even stayed for a few extra days while Steve headed back to Lincoln to work. New Year’s was very quiet. We just spent it at home. Steve, Jess and I had a good time. We have been teaching Jess to play cribbage. She does really well.

Steve again went to the CureSearch teamleaders meeting in Washington D.C. January 16-18. The National Cancer Institute (NCI) will again cut the money they give to CureSearch. It is very frustrating. When you look at the NCI budget and see that all the other cancer areas continue to get more money each year but they continue to take away for childhood cancer. Like Steve always like to say “how can you say no to the children”. It should be an easy decision. These children are our future. How can we not invest in them. This is why we continue to be teamleaders and try to spread the word. Due to the continued cuts, 50 percent the new studies that where to start this year have been cut. CureSearch continues to work on the Conquer Childhood Cancer Act. They are working with some senate offices to rewrite some of the language of the bill and hope to re-introduce it in March. Keep writing your congressmen and let them know childhood cancer should be a priority and ask them to support the bill.

Jess has started club volleyball. They had their first tournament January 28. They did pretty good. They ended up getting second in the tournament. They have about 2 tournaments a month through April. Soccer games start on March 24. So I am sure practice will be a few weeks before that. Track starts in April sometime. She is always on the go. Saturday we went to a brunch called Girls and Women in Sports and Fitness. Jess was recognized as “Junior Achiever” for her dedication to sports and fitness. There were several girls from middle schools recognized along with her. School is going well. She will be registering for high school this month. I just can not believe she will be in high school next year. She has also been invited to attend a writer’s workshop this month which is put on by several Nebraska authors.

February 14 is the fund raiser for Mourning Hope. This is the grief group we all attend. Jess just loves going. We attend an ongoing group twice a month. It is something we do not miss. Last year at the fund raiser Steve spoke about our experience with Mourning Hope. This year they taped a video one of the evenings of our group. They talked one-on-one with Jess for the video. They felt she did such a great job they asked her if she would speak at the breakfast this year. She didn’t even have to think about it. Last night she read her speech to us. I think she did a great job and know it will be a hit the morning of the breakfast.

Tyler has been living with us since the first of the year. He has quit school for now and is working full time. Jess loves having her brother around. It is great for her to have someone to hang with besides just Mom and Dad. For some reason she doesn’t think her mom and dad are that cool.

Steve and I are both doing well. I had surgery on January 25 to remove my gallbladder. It has been bothering me for years it was about time I took care of it. Because of the surgery, it looks like we will not be attending Gold Ribbon Days in June. The money only goes so far. I was looking forward to it because I think I had my folks talked into going with us. I will have to make sure they go with us in 2008.

Last year there was a wonderful walk in Omaha to raise money for CureSearch. They did a great job and raised $50,000. Last night Steve and I went to Omaha for a meeting of volunteers for this years walk. The walk will be June 9 in Omaha. They hope to do even better than last year. I think we will also put a team together this year. It is not a long walk. The whole program is only a few hours. The actual walk is just a couple laps around the mall but it is a great time to see so many people out in support of childhood cancer. Of course our team name will be “Josh’s Dudes”. If you want to walk with us let me know. Also they are looking for corporate sponsors. If you know of a business that might be willing to help support the walk let me know. I have information and can contact them. It is really a great walk. There were just 2 walks like this last year. The other walk raise about $3000. So this one is a huge success and I am sure as other states get involved they will be looking to the walk in Omaha for advice.

So did you all make it to the end of the update. Thanks so much for continuing to check on us and helping us remember and celebrate Josh.

Diane

Wednesday, December 13, 2006 6:35 AM CST

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOSHUA!!! I am sure you will have the best party ever today. We will celebrate with you today by delivering all the toys we collected. We love you!

We had a great time on Sunday and collected a lot of toys. We are heading to Children's this morning and will deliver at St. Elizabeth this afternoon. This evening we will be meeting family and eating at Applebee's and having Josh's favorites.

I will give a full update after today.

Diane

Wednesday, November 22, 2006 2:55 PM CST

For That I Am Thankful
By Darcie D. Sims

It doesn't seem to get any better.
but it doesn't get any worse either,
For that, I am thankful.

There are no more pictures to be taken..
But there are memories to be cherished.
For that, I am thankful.

There is a missing chair at the table.
But the circle of family gathers close.
For that, I am thankful.

The turkey is small.
But there is still stuffing.
For that, I am thankful.

The days are shorter.
But the nights are softer.
For that, I am thankful.

The pain is still there..
But it lasts only moments.
For that, I am thankful.

The calendar still turns..
The holidays still appear
And they still cost too much.
But I am still here.
For that, I am thankful.

The room is still empty,
The soul still aches.
But the heart remembers,
For that, I am thankful.

The guests still come,
The dishes pile up..
But the dishwasher works.
For that, I am thankful.

The name is still missing,
The words still unspoken.
But the silence is shared,
For that, I am thankful.

The snow still falls,
The sled still waits,
And the spirit still wants to..
For that, I am thankful.

The stillness remains.
But the sadness is smaller.
For that, I am thankful.

The moment is gone..
But the love is forever,
For that, I am blessed,
For that, I am grateful..

Love was once (and still is)
A part of my being..
For that, I am living.

I am living.
And for that, I am thankful.

May your holidays be filled with reasons to be thankful.
Having loved and been loved is perhaps the most wondrous reason of all.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I know I used the poem above last year but I like it so much I thought I would share again this year. I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving. This time of the year brings so many emotions for us, but I am actually looking forward to the weekend ahead. I could not say that last year.

We have been busy. The weekend before Halloween we went to Minnesota to visit the Rech family. We had a great time and look forward to seeing them again when they come for Josh’s party. The party information is above. I hope we have a great turnout. We are going to be delivering to two hospitals this year. Josh was treated in both of them.

I have not be signing into the pages I usually do. I am so sorry. I do check in daily on everyone but don’t always have the time to sign. Please know I pray for you all daily. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Please remember all the families affected by cancer. Pray for the ones in remission to continue to have good health. Remember the ones still fighting or fighting again. Pray for the current treatments to be the cure. Also remember the families trying to survive without their loved ones. Pray for them to feel the presence of their child as they struggle to go on.

Thanks so much for continuing to check on us and remembering our sweet Josh. We miss him so much everyday.

Diane

Friday, September 29, 2006 9:43 AM CDT

NEW PHOTOS!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESSICA!!!! We love you so much and hope your 13th birthday is the best ever.

WOW I can’t believe my little girl is 13. It seems just like yesterday I was pregnant and she was causing all kinds of problems. I was on bed rest for the last 2 months of the pregnancy. It was great at first to lay around and have everyone wait on you but it got old real fast. But when I saw her sweet face it was all worth it. We have lots going on this weekend. Jess will have some friends over tonight and we will all go to a movie and dinner. Tomorrow we will be up early for her volleyball game. Then it is Chinese food for lunch. Soccer practice is at 1:00 and then we will head downtown to tailgate before the big Husker football game tomorrow night.

Please remember all the families affected by cancer. Pray for the ones in remission to continue to have good health. Remember the ones still fighting or fighting again. Pray for the current treatments to be the cure. Also remember the families trying to survive without their loved ones. Pray for them to feel the presence of their child as they struggle to go on.

Thanks so much for continuing to check on us and remembering our sweet Josh. We miss him so much everyday.

Diane

Thursday, September 7, 2006 4:24 PM CDT

Today is one of those days we anquish about during the days prior. September 7, 2003, was the day Josh was diagnosed. I have rerun that day in my head on several occasions. We had such hope that Josh would be cured of "the cancer to have". This and the day Josh died are the two hardest days for me. I was so naive 3 years ago. I so wish I were still that naive.

September does not have just bad memories for me. September 29 is Jessica's birthday. My little girl is going to be a teenager this month. Still making plan on how we will celebrate. I am sure a night of chinese food will be in order.

September is also Childhood Cancer Awareness month. Cancer is the leading case of death by disease in children. It kills more than AIDS, asthma, diabetes, and cystic fibrosis combined.

The plans for Josh's birthday party are coming along. It will be December 10 from 1:30 to 4:30. I am getting very excited. We already have lots of toys collected. I am hoping for an even better turnout than last year. Maybe this year we will have to take 3 vans of toys to Omaha instead of 2. We will deliver the toys on Josh's birthday, December 13. It is such a great way to celebrate his birthday.

Please remember all the families affected by cancer. Pray for the ones in remission to continue to have good health. Remember the ones still fighting or fighting again. Pray for the current treatments to be the cure. Also remember the families trying to survive without their loved ones. Pray for them to feel the presence of their child as they struggle to go on.

Thanks so much for continuing to check on us and remembering our sweet Josh. We miss him so much everyday.

Diane

Friday, August 11, 2006 3:44 PM CDT

*NEW PICTURES*

How is everyone doing?

First off I want to wish Steve a very happy birthday today. He is a very young 4?. On the other hand I will be just 29 on my next birthday. LOL. Steve I hope those wonderful memories of Josh kept you going today. You and Jess will have a great night tonight. Sorry I have to work.

We all had a great time in the South Dakota Black Hills with Steve’s family. It is such a beautiful place. We love it there. We saw some wonderful sights and had lots of family time. Oh how I wish Josh could have been there.

Jess had started soccer practice and games start this weekend with a tournament in Omaha. Volleyball starts the first part of September. I think she is getting exciting about school starting in a couple of weeks. She will also play volleyball at school also.

Tyler moves into his dorm next week and starts college on the 21. Jess is excited that is will be living in Lincoln again.

Like I said last update. We will be having Josh’s birthday party again this year. It will be December 10. My mother has collected lots of toys already. If anyone wants to collect at work, etc. Just let me know and I can make a flyer when I print the rest.

Please keep our buddy Wyatt in your prayers. He has had a couple of scans the last couple of months. They have found he has nephrogenic rests. Nephrogenic rests are abnormally persistent clusters of embryonal cells, representing microscopic malformations (dysplasias) of the developing kidney. Nephrogenic rests are best known as precursors of Wilms tumor. This does not mean they will develop into Wilm’s. We just have to hope and pray they stay rests and never develop into Wilm’s. Stop by and leave him a note. (www.caringbridge.org/mn/wyattrech).

Please remember all the families affected by cancer. Pray for the ones in remission to continue to have good health. Remember the ones still fighting or fighting again. Pray for the current treatments to be the cure. Also remember the families trying to survive without their loved ones. Pray for them to feel the presence of their child as they struggle to go on.

Thanks so much for continuing to check on us and remembering our sweet Josh. We miss him so much everyday.

Diane

Monday, July 10, 2006 10:21 AM CDT

Wow, we have been so busy and have been trying to find time to update.

Tyler’s graduation on Mother’s day went very well. We are so proud of him. He is working 2 jobs this summer and in the fall will start at the University in Lincoln.

I started working part-time at Target the end of May. I really like it. It keeps me very busy. It also helps pay for vacation this summer.

On June 3, Steve and I went to Omaha for the CureSearch Milestones Walk. In the Arms of Friends from Omaha put it on. They all did such an awesome job. There were lots of people who attended. It was great to see so many faces we haven’t seen in a while. They raised $50,000 for CureSearch. Way to go.

On the 19th, we left for Washington D.C. Jess was so excited because we flew this year. On Monday when we got there we met up with Darby and Gavin Brion and Kris Rech and crew (when they finally showed up LOL). We all went to the National Zoo. It was a very hot day so we didn’t spend too much time but did get to see the Pandas. Monday and Tuesday we heard several wonderful speakers and had great time visiting with so many other families. On Wednesday we all went to Capitol Hill to meet with our Congressmen. We had 4 visits. We met with everyone but Osborne. It was a good day. Senator Hagel has signed on as a co-sponsor of the Conquer Childhood Cancer Act and Representative Terry has agreed to sign on to the House side of the Act. So we still have to work on the other three. The best thing of the whole week of course is the time you get to spend with the other families. Tuesday and Wednesday nights we were able to spend some fun at the pool with others. We got to visit again with the Parkers from Ohio. Harlei so glad to see you got some new shoes. I don’t think you have enough. LOL. Jessica and Gavin Brion (Brooke’s brother) had a great time together. They both went to the visits on the Hill. On Thursday our flight didn’t leave until 7:30 pm. So went saw a museum with Darby and Gavin and Nancy, Vince, and Nicholas Haight from Rhode Island. We all then walked to Ford Theater, but it was closed. Darby and Gavin had to leave to take their Capitol tour. So the Haights and us decided to go see the National Cathedral. After a ride on the metro and a walk of about a mile. We finally made it. Don’t listen to people on the street when they say it is just down this street. We did find a bus to take us back to the metro station. Even after the long walk we had a great time. It was so beautiful. We could have easily spent more time but had to make it back to catch our flight. Our flight home was great. Darby and Gavin were on our flight. So Jess and Gavin sat together and had a good time. As we were waiting for our flight to board we noticed we had 4 of 5 congressmen on the flight with us. We said a short hello to a couple. It was nice that they remember meeting with us the previous day. We were late getting into Omaha. We had to fly around a storm. It was a great trip all around.

The next day we got ready to go to Callaway for the weekend. It was Steve’s 25th high school reunion and the annual Pioneer Picnic. We took Jess and three of our nieces with us. We all had a good time.

We had to leave early Sunday morning. Jess was due at camp late Sunday afternoon. She went to confirmation camp from Sunday - Friday. She was so mad at me because she didn’t want to go. I told her she would have a great time. When we picked her up Friday, she could not stop talking about the fun she had. I couldn’t resist. I had to tell her I told you so. How old do they have to be before they start believing their mother. LOL.

Kris, Ali, and Wyatt Rech came to Lincoln on July 3. We got together with Kevin, Patti, and Hanna Mathis in the afternoon. That evening we all went to watch Hanna play softball. It was a great game. They won. Then we all heading to a local golf course to watch a fireworks display. It was awesome. It was nice to see them on the 3rd, because I had to work the night of the 4th. We all got together again on the morning of the 4th. We swam and had lunch together. Jess then went back to Minnesota with the Rech’s. I will be picking her up on Wednesday. I think she is ready to spend a little time at home. She had been gone pretty much since June 19th.

We leave on the 16th for our Brestel family vacation to South Dakota. We are really looking forward to this. We will spend 4 days in South Dakota and then will head to Valentine. We will float the Niobrara river. Fun should be had by all.

After all this we don’t have much planned for the rest of the summer. Which will be nice. Jess will start soccer probably the first week of August and school starts on the 28th.

We are planning on doing Josh’s birthday party again this year. It will either be December 9 or 10. We will plan on taking all the toys up on his birthday again. It is such a great way to celebrate Josh and his birthday. I did talk to Mom the other day. She works at Pamida and they had a bunch of toys go on clearance so she went shopping. Also some of the people she works with decided to do the same. So she came home with her trunk full, back seat full, and the passenger side of the front full of toys. So we already have a wonderful start on collecting. We had such a awesome turnout last year. I hope we can do as well if not better this year.

Now that I have put everyone to sleep with my long update, I better sign off. Please remember all the families affected by cancer. Pray for the ones in remission to continue to have good health. Remember the ones still fighting or fighting again. Pray for the current treatments to be the cure. Also remember the families trying to survive without their loved ones. Pray for them to feel the presence of their child as they struggle to go on.

Thanks so much for continuing to check on us and remember our sweet Josh. We miss him so much everyday.

Diane

Tuesday, June 20, 2006 12:35 AM CDT

Hi Everyone,

I feel so bad about not updating sooner. First I want to say I hope all the fathers had a great day on Sunday. Especially the ones missing their children.

We are here in Washington D.C. for Gold Ribbon Days. It has been great so far. Tommorrow is the day we go to Capitol Hill and visit with our Senators and Representatives. We get to tell our story of childhood cancer and hopefully they will all agree that childhood cancer research and support of the research should be a top priority. Wish us luck.

I better get going we will start the afternoon session soon.

I will update when we get home.

Diane

Tuesday, May 2, 2006 2:58 PM CDT

I hope everyone had a great Easter holiday. Holidays for us will never be the same without Josh. We miss him so much. In many ways this second year without him is harder then the first. I think the fog has finally lifted and we are being hit with the pain all over again. Also we are grieving along with so many other families that have lost a child since Josh passed. There are way too many. There is Haley, Kyle, Brooke, Jessica, Morgan, Schuyler. This are just the funerals that we have attended. There are so many others we follow on caringbridge. We are still going to Mourning Hope twice a month. Jess loves it. She would never let us miss. She is struggling right along with Steve and I. It is so hard to see her in so much pain. Don’t get me wrong we do have some good days. We know Josh would hate to see us sad. So we tell Jess “just remember how Josh loved to smile”.

Jess is still doing soccer. She is now also doing track through school. She loves it. Her favorite is the hurdles. She is looking forward to summer. She has lots of trips planned. Of course DC in June. Then a week at church camp. In July she will be going with the Rech family to Texas. A few days after she gets back we go to South Dakota with Steve’s whole family. She asked what she is going to do in August and I told her she needs time to recoup.

Tyler graduates in less then 2 weeks. WOW. That is so hard to believe. He still has a few track meets left.

We are looking so forward to Gold Ribbon Days this year. There are so many other families we have only met through caringbridge that will be attending. I am so looking forward to meeting them in person. Also looking forward to again seeing the ones we have met. If you are interested in attending check out the CureSearch web page. www.curesearch.org.

The In the Arms of Friends walk for CureSearch will be June 3 in Omaha. Sounds like it will be a huge success. I am looking forward to attending.

PBS will air a series next month which following 5 families and their struggles with childhood cancer. Thought some might want to be on the lookout for it. Below is a link with infomation.

http://www.itvs.org/outreach/lioninthehouse/

Remember to use the box above and write your congressmen and ask them to sign on to the Conquer Childhood Act of 2006.

Thanks so much to everyone who continues to sign the guestbook. It helps so much to hear from everyone and to know you are still thinking of Josh. Thanks.

Please remember all the families affected by cancer. Pray for the ones in remission to continue to have good health. Remember the ones still fighting or fighting again. Pray for the current treatments to be the cure. Also remember the families trying to survive without their loved ones. Pray for them to feel the presence of their child as they struggle to go on.

Diane

GOOD FRIDAY - Friday, April 14, 2006 4:14 PM CST

“Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in Paradise.” Luke 23:43

I hope everyone has a great Easter. This is a very emotional holiday for me. Today is the day Jesus died for our sins and because of this Josh is celebrating in Heaven with Jesus himself. For this I am thankful and look forward to the day I am reunited with Josh in Heaven. I was reading Brooke Brion’s page and Darby talked about what a wonderful time Easter must be in heaven. This is so true. Can you imagine spending Easter and Christmas with Jesus. Josh will be having the best Easter ever. This makes me feel such delight, but I still am selfish and wish he was spending it with us.

Sorry I haven’t been to visit all the pages. I am thinking and praying for all of you. I wish everyone a wonderful Easter. Please remember all the families affected by cancer. Pray for the ones in remission to continue to have good health. Remember the ones still fighting or fighting again. Pray for the current treatments to be the cure. Also remember the families celebrating Easter without their loved ones. Pray for them to feel the presence of their child as they celebrate Jesus. Remember all those sweet angels as they celebrate Easter the best way possible. With Jesus. Happy Easter.

The Brestel
Steve, Diane, Tyler, Jessica, and Angel Josh

April 7, 2006

We have lost another sweet child to Wilm's tumor. Brooke from Kentucky passed away yesterday. Just 2 days after surgery. Please stop by and offer support to her family (ky/brooke).

Diane

Hello Everyone,

Jess is right. I don’t seem to update as much as I should. I know you have heard this before but I will try to get better.

As Jess mentioned, Steve and I attended Kyle Reed’s funeral. It was a wonderful tribute to an awesome boy. It was a very emotional time. Kyle and Josh are so similar. As hard as it was, we are so glad we went. It was so wonderful to be able to meet Kyle’s family. Paula and Mike are amazing parents and have 4 amazing children. We talked about so many things and could have talked all night. I wish we would have had more time. Sounds like we will be getting together again in June for Gold Ribbon Days. Please keep the Reed family in your prayers. Grief is such a hard journey and they will be on it until they are reunited with Kyle. (www.caringbridge.org/ia/kyle)

We are finalizing our plans for Gold Ribbon Days in June. Jess was so excited when we told her we are going to fly this year. She didn’t enjoy the 18 hour drive last year. I want to encourage everyone to attend. The dates are June 19-21, 2006. It is held at the Holiday Inn-Capitol in Washington D.C. For more information go to www.curesearch.org and there is a link on the front page. All the registration, hotel, and agenda information is there. The more families that attend to more the word gets out. We need to let as many people know that cancer is not just an adult disease. There is no better way then to share your story. It is truly an amazing experience. You can make a difference. If you want to talk about it, feel free to contact me.

This year at Gold Ribbon Days the big topic will be the new bill introduced in the senate and house “The Conquer Childhood Cancer Act of 2006.” The bill will provide $100 million over 5 years. I think the biggest thing that could come of the bill is it will support a national childhood cancer database. Everyone can help by contacting your senators and representatives. Enter your zip could in the box above and you will be taken to the CureSearch web site. It will list who your congressman are and give you the tool to draft a letter to email to them. It will also show if your congressman has signed on as a co-sponsor of the bill. I encourage you to add your personal stories to the letters. It really helps for our congressman to hear these stories when they are considering legislation that will affect so many children. If you would like to read the press release regarding the introduction of the bill go to www.curesearch.org There is a link on the front page.

On June 3, in Omaha, there will be a walk benefitting CureSearch. In the Arms of Friends, an organization started by two mothers whose sons fought cancer, is conducting the walk. You can get a team together and walk for all the kids affected by cancer. If you need information or want to register, go to www.inthearmsoffriends.org.

Stop by Haley’s page (www.caringbridge.org/ne/haleygirl) and see how you can help them bring some smiles to the kids in the hospital on Easter. They will be honoring Haley on her birthday and delivering Easter baskets to Children’s.

REMEMBER contact your congressmen/women and tell the to sign on to The Conquer Childhood Cancer Act of 2006.

See what happens when I don’t update for a while. I get a little windy. Thanks to everyone who made it to the end.

Diane

Saturday, March 25, 2006 11:42 AM CST

Howdy
This is Jess and I'm gonna update today because my mom never does.LOL. We have been doing pretty swell.
My parents went to Kyle's(ia/kyle)funeral. They said it brought up a lot of memories of Josh.
Wyatt Rech just got back from Florida on his Make-A-Wish trip I was talkin to him and he said he got to see Willy and Stitch so he was happy about that. LOL!
I have been doing pretty good. I started soccer a couple weeks ago we haven't been practicing much because of the 15 inches of snow we got. We have a spaghetti feed to go to night for some "soccer player bonding time". We are also kinda celebrating Lily Kennett's birthday today so Happy Birthday Lily!
Tyler started track he is competing in polevault. In his first track meet he went 13 feet and got second so way to go Ty! He will be graduating in May which is in 2 months! Ahhh he is thinking about going to UNL so thats good he will be back in Lincoln.
Hope I have satisfied to your liking.(is that the saying or not? haha)

Jess, Tyler, Steve and Diane

Thursday, March 9, 2006 3:30 PM CST

Please stop by Kyle’s page (ia/kyle) and leave some words of comfort for his family. Kyle passed away yesterday afternoon. Another sweet boy lost to Wilm’s. The cancer with a 90 percent cure rate. I HATE CANCER.

Yesterday was a big step in getting funding for childhood cancer. The Conquer Childhood Cancer Act of 2006 was introduced in the senate yesterday. Kris and Wyatt Rech were on hand for the introduction. Check out the link below for a press release from CureSearch. This is a first step and more needs to be done. Everyone please write to your senators and ask them to support this bill.

http://www.curesearch.org/news_and_media/news_article.aspx?id=2758

Diane

Wednesday, February 14, 2006 10:10 AM CST

A VALENTINE SENT TO HEAVEN

Angels come swiftly, hurry to our side
Carry our hearts back with you, to our children in heaven now reside.
Carry them gently, handle them with care
And take them to their sides, and gently lay them there.
Whisper to them of our love, and our longing hearts
All our lonely aching while we are apart.
Hold them gently to you, and let them see our love
Let them see this, our valentine to them above.
Reassure them of our love, that it is still the same
And gently hold us when we cry, when we hear them whisper our names.
Let this exchange of love be our valentine
And whisper to them that our love will stand the test of time.
Show them the memories are safely held inside
And with us they will always abide.
Let them see this day, a day filled with our love
As we shed our tears, and whisper their names, to our Valentines above.

Sheila Simmons

Wednesday, February 1, 2006

It’s been 14 months since our precious Josh passed away. We still hold him everyday in our hearts. The memory of his strength in his short life is inspiration to help keep us working to find a cure for cancer so no one will ever have to hear “We’re sorry we’ve done all that we can. The cancer will take your child’s life.”

As you probably read in the last update, I went to Washington D.C. to a team leaders meeting for CureSearch. The flights to and from D.C. were uneventful. On the first night there, we had a reception in the Capitol Hill Club. When I walked in the door, I was greeted by two large elephants. One on each side of the door. So Josh’s presence was felt right from the start. Wednesday morning started with meetings to prepare us for our presentations to our members of Congress. My meetings on the Hill started at noon. Basically my job was to tell the story of Josh’s bout with cancer and other children in Nebraska that have been touched by cancer. We ask them to support CureSearch in getting appropriations to support childhood cancer research. CureSearch is also asking Congress to sponsor an authorization bill to get $20 million annually for 5 years. This is just a drop in the bucket when you are talking the federal budget or the money that adult cancers receive. It is much needed money to support childhood cancer research. We also asked the Congressmen to sponsor a resolution to raise awareness in Congress and around the country that childhood cancer is the leading cause of death by disease in children in the U.S. Cancer kills more children than asthma, diabetes, cystic fibrosis and AIDS combined each year. The word needs to be put out there. I met with both Senators and their aids. Also, I met with aids from 2 of the 3 representatives’ offices. It was a very long day.

On Wednesday night, I went to dinner with Kris Rech, teamleaders from California, and a staff member of CureSearch. It was a wonderful way to end a few busy days and get to know my fellow teamleaders. Our next visit will be in June for Gold Ribbon Days. Please consider attending this conference. It would be great to have more families from Nebraska there to tell their stories. The conference is June 19-21.

On January 6, Diane and I went to Lincoln High School and shared Josh’s story of his struggles with cancer with a Families in Crisis class. The students were very interested in learning about health crisis and grief.

On January 11, Diane and I went to a fundraiser for Mourning Hope. This is the grief group we go to with Jessica. I gave a short talk on how Mourning Hope has helped our family deal with Josh’s death. It was very nerve-racking but I got through okay.

We do all of this for Josh and all the other kids fighting cancer. I never could have talked in public before Josh’s illness, but this is nothing compared to what he went through.

We will be going to Minnesota in a few weeks to visit the Rech family. Jessica is getting very excited. We are hoping the Mathis family will go along. It will be a great time.

Jess is still doing basketball and soccer starts next month. Summer will be here before you know it. Today we signed up for her classes for 8th grade. It is so hard to believe she will be high school before long.

Tyler is getting ready for track to start and before you know it he graduates in May.

Please stop by and visit Kyle (ia/kyle). His family has been forced to make some decisions no family should have to make. Drop by and leave some kind words for them. Also remember all the kids fighting cancer, the ones in remission, and the families of all the sweet angels.

Thanks for stopping by and visiting. Please sign the guestbook and let us know you were here.

Steve

Thursday, January 12, 2006 3:56 PM CST

Hello Everyone,

I can’t believe it has been almost a month since I have updated. After Josh’s party, I got busy getting ready for Christmas. We had a good Christmas. Of course, it would have been better if Josh was with us. It helped to think about him attended the best birthday party ever. He was able to spend Christmas with Jesus. WOW. Christmas eve was nice. Steve, Jess, Tyler and I went to candlelight service at church. Afterwards the kids bugged me to hope just 1 gift. Christmas morning it was just the 4 of us at home. That afternoon we head to my folks to celebrate with them. Jess and I stayed for a few extra days. On the 30th we headed to Steve’s folks for Christmas on the 31st. We had new years and Christmas all in the same day. We had a good time.

On the 17th Steve will leave for Washington D.C. for a CureSearch team leaders meeting. He will visit capitol hill to talk to our congressmen and advocate for more money for childhood cancer. I so wish I could go but I have work I can’t get out of.

Today is three years since my little brother, Steve, passed away. I can’t believe it has been so long. So much has happened since then. The year my brother died was also the year Josh was diagnosed. We thought at the time that 2003 was our year from hell, but 2004 was not any better. Josh went through so much with his treatments only to pass in December. 2005 wasn’t much better. Besides the pain of losing Josh, we lost 5 of our friends we met during treatment. Schuyler, Jessica, Haley, Morgan and Brooke. 5 wonderful angels watching out for their families left behind.

Let’s hope 2006 is our year. The year we make $50,000 for our Wilm’s Initiative. The year that there is some advancements in treatment. How about the year they find a cure for cancer. I know I talk about how bad the last 3 years have been but there were also so many good things about those years. The best being all the wonderful people we have met. Lot’s of them through the caringbridge pages. Many of them I have never met in person but consider them friends. Bonnie Claire, Emily, Ellie Anna, Jackson, Kate, Kyle, Laurel Rose, Makala, Matthew, Oliva, Tess, Autumn, Brianna. The Rech family is one we have met. They have become such great friends and I cannot image our life without them. They have been so supportive of us and I hope I give back at least a little to them also. The Mathis family is also a bright light. Haley was and still is such an awesome girl. Josh adored her and Hanna so much. The Brion family we also met during treatment. Brooke and her great smile. Our three angels are together again. I am sure they are having a great time.

Please keep Bonnie Claire in your prayers. She is having pain in her legs. They did an MRI which was clear (YEAH) but they still do not know what is causing the pain. Please stop by and leave some words of encouragement. www.caringbridge.org/nc/bonnieclaire

Also stop by and check in on Kyle. www.caringbridge.org/ia/kyle He had scans today. Let’s hope they get the miracle they so need.

Thanks so much for continuing to check on us and signing the guestbook. We would never be where we are today with out the great support. Thank you.

Diane

Sunday, December 18, 2005 10:13 PM CST

Sorry it has taken so long to update. We have been so busy the last week. We have not been home a single night.

Kris, Wyatt, and Ali Rech and friends came from Minnesota last Saturday. It was so great to see them again. We went out for dinner Saturday night and ran into Kevin and Patti Mathis. What a wonderful surprise. So we all went to surprise Hanna at her birthday party. It was great to be able to visit with them again.

Josh’s birthday party was Sunday. It was just awesome. We had a wonderful turnout and collected more toys then expected. I think we did a great job for the first year. We had birthday cake and did crafts. It was great to be able to visit with so many people who love and miss Josh as much as we do. At the end of the party, we sang happy birthday and released balloons with messages to Josh. After the party, we bagged up the toys into large outdoor garbage bags. When we were done, we filled 25 bags, had 3 bikes, and $600 in gift cards and cash. WOW!! We are going to make this an annual party.

On Sunday evening, we attended the Compassionate Friends world wide candle lighting ceremony. It was a great ceremony to remember all the children who died too early. Lots of tears.

On Monday, we went to Omaha for Brooke Brion’s funeral. No matter how many funerals for children I go to (5 this year), it doesn’t get any easier. It was a beautiful service for a sweet little girl. Please stop by her page (ne/brooke) and leave some words of comfort for her family. The days ahead will be so hard for them.

On Tuesday, Josh’s birthday, we filled 2 vans and headed to Omaha to Children’s Hospital. We met the child life staff at the front doors and unloaded. They were so surprised we collected so much. They said they think it was the biggest family donation. We then took a bag full of beanie babies up to the clinic. We had a great time visiting with the staff there. We even passed around some of the beanie babies. Jess sat with a couple girls and had a great time looking through the bag. They were all smiles and giggles. It was great to see. After visiting the clinic, we went to 5th floor to see the nurses. We had a great visit. We talked to Jennifer (child life) and she said they sorted through the toys and they think we even collected more toys than a local radio sation collected with their toy drive. We had a great day. It was such a wonderful way to spend Josh’s birthday. Thank you so much to everyone who made the party such a success. Of course our wonderful families are top on that list. We could never do all we do without their great support and help. Thanks to all who brought toys for the drive. Also there were so many who collected so many before the day of the party. Thanks to Jane for the great crafts. The kids loved them. Also thanks to everyone for attending and sharing your wonderful memories of Josh.

Wednesday brought the reality that I have not done any Christmas shopping. I can’t believe how far I am behind. I am usually done very early. So now is the time to concentrate on Christmas shopping, decorating the house, and getting cards out. I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas and enjoys spending quality time with your families. My thoughts and prayers go out to the families who will be spending Christmas without a loved one. There are way too many. May the memories of your sweet angels bring you some joy.

Please keep Kyle and his family in your prayers. Hope and pray he makes a turn for the better and is able to spend Christmas home with his family. Also stop by and leave a message for his family (ia/kyle). Also please keep the prayers going for all the kids fighting cancer. Also remember the ones in remission and pray they continue to be healthy. Especially remember all the families who have also lost their children. They never stop needing your prayers and support.

Thank you so much for continuing to check in on us. Check out the new pictures on the photo page.

Diane

Monday, November 28, 2005 6:04 PM CST

Update: December 8, 2005

My heart is breaking for the Brion family. Brooke earned her angel wings this morning. Please stop by her page (ne/brooke) and leave some words of comfort for her family. She will be missed by so many. Now Josh, Haley, and Brooke are all together again. This time all are pain free and enjoying the glorious sights of heaven.

****************************************

I tried to update before the holiday weekend but ran out of time. I hope everyone had a great holiday with lots of family and good times. I found this poem and wanted to share it.

It doesn't seem to get any better...
But it doesn't seem to get any worse either.
For that, I am thankful.

There are no more pictures to be taken...
But there are memories to be cherished.
For that, I am thankful.

There is a missing chair at the table...
But the circle of family gathers close.
For that, I am thankful.

The turkey is smaller...
But there is still stuffing.
For that, I am thankful.

The days are shorter...
But the nights are softer.
For that I am thankful.

The pain is still there...
But it lasts only moments.
For that, I am thankful.

The calendar still turns,
the holidays still appear,
And they still cost too much...
but I am still here.
For that, I am thankful.

The room is still empty,
the soul still aches...
But the heart remembers.
For that, I am thankful.

The guests still come, the dishes pile up...
But the dishwasher works.
For that, I am thankful.

The name is still missing, the words still unspoken...
But the silence is shared.
For that, I am thankful.

The snow still falls, the sled still waits,
and the spirit still wants to...
For that, I am thankful.

The stillness remains...
But the sadness is smaller.
For that, I am thankful.

The moment is gone...
But the love is forever.
For that, I am blessed: for that, I am grateful...

Love was once (and still is)
A part of my being...
for that, I am living.

I am living...
and for that, I am thankful.

May your holidays be filled with reasons
to be thankful. Having loved and having
been loved is perhaps the most wondrous
reason of all.

Darcie Sims – 1992

Our thanksgiving was bittersweet. We had a great time with lots of family and are thankful for all of them, but it is just not the same without Josh. I did a lot of thinking about last year at this time. Josh was declared terminal the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. We traveled and he was able to see both families one last time.

Thursday marks 1 year since Josh went to live with Jesus. I know he is in such a wonderful place and is now pain free, but this does not make the pain go away. At times is seems like this last year has gone so fast and other times I think it has been a lifetime. I don’t know how Thursday will go. I would love to just stay in bed all day, but I have to work and have meetings all day. Thursday night we are going to Paint Yourself Silly with Mourning Hope and make ornaments. It will be great for us to do something to remember Josh. Jess loves going to Mourning Hope. We go twice a month. She gets upset if we are unable to attend for some reason. I am glad she has found something that helps her deal with her grief.

Josh’s birthday party is in 2 weeks. We are really looking forward to this. Josh loved birthday parties. A birthday could never pass in our house without hats and balloons. We could not stop celebrating his birthday. So this is a way for us to have a party and do something for others. His birthday is December 13. This is the day we will take the gifts to the hospital. We hope to be able to take lots of toys for all the kids. We are already collecting from some people.

Please continue to keep Brooke (ne/brooke) in your prayers. Kyle (ia/klye) went in today for scans and the next round of chemo. Also remember Morgan and her family. She passed away a couple of weeks ago. Also remember all the other families spending the holidays without their loved ones.

Thank you so much for continuing to check in on us. We love to read the guestbook and know Josh is still thought of so much.

Diane

Monday, November 7, 2005 5:07 PM CST

Aloha All,
This is Jess updating. Wow I have never done this before well here we go.
We are all doing very well, coming up on a year Josh hasn't been with us. Wow it seems so much longer than that. We have started another grief class I like them a lot this one is where its just people who have done a Mourning Hope class before. By the way I recommend that for anyone it really does fun stuff with the kids! Anywhoo.

Tyler just finished football they made it to state playoffs they lost in the 2nd round to what I think is the team that will probably win state and also has Tyler's cousin as a player so I bet that was hard for Tyler to lose to his cousin but they played a tough game and stuck with it through the whole thing no matter how bad the refs were.

I start basketball tonight and I am still playing volleyball. My volleyball team played in a tournament this weekend we got 2nd we lost in the finals, which kinda sucked because I lost to my best friend, but whatever we tried our hardest! Well about Halloween Emily(my best friend) and I were Speed Bumps for Halloween yes speed bumps. I guess you are probably wondering how we did it, but you will have to talk to me because its kinda a long story so yea.

My parent haven't really done anything new so I don't know what to say about them besides they haul me to my sports and stuff so that's about it.

Those of you who wonder about my puppy she's doing great, getting a lot bigger. So I hope I did a good job updating.

Jess

Jess did about sum it up. Between running her to her activities and going to Tyler's games, we haven't had much time for anything else. As you noticed above, the details for Josh's birthday party are complete. We have already received toys from some people. There are a few people that will be collecting at their work place. We are so exciting and hoping to get lots of toys for the hospital and kids. The Wilms Tumor Initiative is going great. There have been a few fundraisers and more are planned. Steve is planning on going to Washington D.C. in January to continue to advocate with CureSearch for childhood cancer.

Please continue to keep Brooke and her family in your prayers. (ne/brooke) She is home on hospice. Also Jacob (fl/jacob) is fighting very hard right now. Kyle (ia/kyle) is back in the hospital to receive more chemo. Also please stop by and leave a word of comfort for Emily (az/emily). She just recently lost her Grandfather to cancer. How hard this must be for her to lose him to the same disease she has fought. This is just a short list of so many families who are currently fighting cancer or fighting to stay in remission. Thanks so much for continuing to check in on us. I am sure as we close in on the one year mark since we have lost Josh the prayers will be needed. Hugs to all.

Diane

Friday, October 14, 2005 5:38 PM CDT

Tuesday, October 25

URGENT PRAYER REQUEST!!! Please pray for Brooke and her family. She is not feeling well and will be going home soon on hospice. Please stop by her web page (ne/brooke) and leave some words of comfort. My heart is breaking for this family knowing what the days, months and years ahead hold for them. There is also so much anger right now. So much needs to be done. Too many families are losing their precious children. The word needs to get out about this terrible disease. So many people do not realize the number of kids that are affected by cancer. So please keep the Brion family in your prayer and all the children fighting cancer.

Diane

Hi Everyone,

I know, I know. I need to get better about updating. Jessica had a great birthday. I can’t believe 1 more year and she will be a teenager. Less than 2 years and she will be in high school. WOW. Speaking of Jess. She made the collage above. There is also one on the picture page she made. It is all pictures of her and Josh. Last weekend I took pictures of the kids. (see picture page) We have included something in the pictures that reminds us of Josh. Can you pick it out? Not too hard for those who know Josh. I just could not take pictures without him involved. I think they turned out great.

Jess is almost done with soccer. She has a game tomorrow and one on Sunday. I think she is ready for it to be over. She needs a little break before basketball starts. She needs to rest her knee. She went to the doctor this week and she has patellar tendinitis. The only thing she can do to help is slow down. She is having a great time with Cali, her new puppy. Even Steve loves having a dog around. He is the one who always said “We will never have a dog.” So funny.

Tyler still has football going. They have probably the biggest game of the season today. They are 6-0 and the team they play are also 6-0. Can’t wait until Steve gets home to fill Jess and I in on how it went. He last regular season game is next week and then playoffs start. School is going great for him. This is his senior year. Another WOW. His senior pictures turned out great. When we get them back I will be sure to put some pictures up.

Steve and I are still Team Leaders for CureSearch. Steve will be going to Washington D.C. in January for a couple of days. I can’t go because of work. He will be talking to our congressman about funding for childhood cancer. Our Wilms Tumor Initiative is going great. There have been a few fundraisers already. If you want more information regarding the Initiative, please contact me. All money raise is tax deductible. It will all go to CureSearch for Wilms tumor research.

We are still planning on having a birthday party for Josh. All the toys we collect will be taken to the hospital. We are going to have it December 11. Josh’s birthday is December 13. When I have more details, I will fill everyone in.

Please keep up the prayers for all the kids fighting. Remember Kyle in Iowa (ia/kyle). He is fighting relapsed Wilms. Also Brooke (ne/brooke). She is also fighting relapsed Wilms. Please pray for the new chemos to continue to work for these two great kids. Also remember their families. They also go through so much during treatment.

Thanks so much for continuing to check in on us. Please sign the guestbook and let us know you stopped by.

Diane

Wednesday, September 28, 2005 4:50 PM CDT

Hello Everyone,

Sorry it has been awhile since an update. We are all doing okay. Hanging in there day by day.

First I want to wish Jess a very happy 12th birthday. Her birthday is tomorrow the 29th. I can't believe my little girl is already 12. She is growing to be a very wonderful young lady. HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESSICA.

We did our booth at WalMart on the 18th. It went well. We raised a little money and some awareness. It is hard right now competing with all the fundraising going on for Katrina. So many great causes.

There have been a few fundraisers for the Wilm's Initiative the past few weeks. It is so great to be doing something to help the cause. If anyone wants to do a fund raiser or knows of someone looking for a great cause to support, let me know. All money raised for the Wilm's Initiative is tax deductible. It all goes through CureSearch into an account for the Wilm's Initiative. CureSearch does a great job helping people with the fundraisers. We are also working on a logo for the Initiative and also looking at having some magnets made.

Thanks to everyone for still stopping by. We love to read the guestbook entries.

Please keep the prayers going for all the kids fighting cancer. Also remember the ones in remission and pray they continue to be healthy. Especially remember all the families who have also lost their children. They never stop needed your prayers and support.

Diane

Sunday, September 11, 2005 9:15 PM CDT

Hi,

Just a quick update. I have put some new photos on the first page. There is a picture of Steve with his new haircut. He is shaving his head for the month of September. September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month.

There is also a picture of Jess with her new puppy, Cali. Cali is a sheltie. She is not home with us yet. We will pick her up the 20th. Jess is so excited. She has been after Steve and I for a long time about getting a dog. So we decided it would be a good birthday present. Her birthday is September 29. She will be 12. We did get to surprise her a little. Saturday morning we got her up and told her we were going to look at an air compressor for Steve's work. She didn't understand why she had to go along. So she was not happy. We we drove up to the farm house the lady came out and said "the puppies are over here." You should have seen her face. She had a great time picking out the one she wanted.

I am busy working on getting information ready for the booth I am having at WalMart next Sunday.

Remember to keep all the kids fighting so hard in your prayers. Thanks also for checking in on us. We love to read the guestbook entries.

Diane

Tuesday, September 6, 2005 9:54 PM CDT

Hello Everyone,

NEW PHOTOS!

Not a lot new happening here. Jess is loving school. Tyler had his first football game Friday. They won 35-0. I am going to set up an information table at WalMart on the 18th. Hopefully it will help raise awareness of childhood cancer. We will also be taking donations for the Wilm's Tumor Initiative.

Tomorrow is another one of those anniversaries. Two years ago on September 7, 2003, Josh was diagnosed with Wilm's tumor. Who would have thought 2 years ago we would be where we are today. Never until they told us Josh was terminal did I think there would be a day I could no longer hold him. Never did I ever think 9 months would go by without me seeing Josh. You know that saying "It gets better with time". I am waiting for that time to come. It just seems to get harder. All the things that he will never get to do. School, sports, watching his big brother graduate in the spring, waking his sissy up in the morning, and playing and growing up with all his friends.

Thanks to everyone for stopping by and checking on us. Continue the prayers for all the others still fighting. Especially Kyle (ia/kyle) from Iowa and Jacob (fl/jacob) from Florida.

Diane

Thursday, August 25, 2005 1:33 PM CDT

Hi Everyone,

Not much new going on here. Saturday we met Kris, Wyatt, Carter, and Ali Rech and Jess in Des Moines. We had a great time. We spent some time at the Iowa State Fair and then went to the hotel so the kids could swim. Jess had a great time last week with them. She loved having a house full of people. I think is gets too quiet around our house sometimes. Check out Josh’s guestbook for a picture from the fair. It is great.

Tonight is open house at Jess’ school. She gets to meet all her new teachers and see all her friends. School starts on Monday. She has her first soccer game Saturday. I hope it goes well for them. They were moved up into a harder division. Volleyball starts next month.

Tyler started school Wednesday and has his first football game next weekend. This is his senior year. It is so hard to think about him going to college next year.

The start of school this year will be a little hard on us. Josh would have started Kindergarten this fall. He was so looking forward to school. He always wanted to go to school like Sissy. There will be so many things we will have to face in the future. Things that Josh never was able to do.

We are still working with CureSearch on our fund raising for Wilm’s Tumor. Kris Rech is great and is doing a lot of the work.

Josh’s birthday is in December and we are still planning to have a birthday party and collect toys for child in the hospital over the Holidays.

Please also keep all the other families fighting this disease in your prayers. Stop and visit Kyle (ia/kyle) who has some rough days ahead and still praying for his miracle. Also keep praying for all the families in remission. Please pray for the remission to continue and for cancer never to tough their families again. Also thanks so much for continuing to check on us.

Diane

THURSDAY, AUGUST 11, 2005

Hi Everyone,

First off I want to wish Steve a very happy birthday today. It is a bittersweet birthday for him. This is the first without his little buddy. We all miss Josh so much. It has been over 8 months but seems like a lifetime. I asked Steve the other day “how are we suppose to live with this pain for the rest of our lives”. You always hear it gets better with time. I don’t know if that is true. I think you just learn to live with the pain. It does bring some comfort in knowing he is in heaven and no longer in pain. I am sure he and Haley are having a great time together.

The summer is coming to an end. Jessica starts school on the 29th. Soccer practice has started this week. Games begin the last weekend in August. Next week she is going to Minnesota to visit the Rech family. She is so looking forward to this.

Tyler starts football practices next week and then school the week after. His first game is Labor Day weekend. Which means a lot of time on the roads Friday nights.

We are working on our fund raising with CureSearch. It is officially called “CureSearch National Wilm’s Tumor Initiative”. Kris and I are working on getting all the information together for people who want to have a fund raiser. We are also working with Mel from Minnesota on getting car magnets ordered. If anyone has a wonderful idea for a fund raiser or wants the information, please let me know.

Please also keep all the other families fighting this disease in your prayers. Especially stop by and visit Ethan’s family (ga/ethan). He recently lost his battle with Wilm’s. Also stop and visit Kyle (ia/kyle) who has some rough days ahead. Also keep praying for all the families in remission. Please prayer for the remission to continue and for cancer never to tough their families again. Thanks so much for continuing to check on us.

Diane

Monday, July 25, 2005 4:19 PM CDT

First off. Thank you to everyone who continues to check on us. We really love reading the guest book messages. We are coming up on the 8th month anniversary of Josh’s death. The days seem to be harder this past month. That is how is goes - some good day, some very bad days. We miss Josh so much. It is so hard to think that we will never again be able to hold him, read his books to him, watch nikelodeon together, and all the wonderful things we loved doing. Please remember all the other families going to bed at night without their wonderful kids. Especially the Mathis family.

Sorry it has been so long since my last update. I hope to get better soon. This summer as been sooooooooo busy. We have not been home but 2 weekends in June and July. August so far looks like it will be slower.

Jessica is done with all her volleyball and basketball camps. She had her last volleyball game last week. So we have a few weeks before soccer starts at the end of August. School for her starts August 29.

We had a great vacation to Colorado from the 13-17. Lots of fun things jammed into a few days. The kids like 6 flags the best but I loved the white water rafting. We also met my Mom and Dad in Colorado. So we were able to spend a few days with them.

We just got home yesterday from visiting my parents at the lake. We had a family reunion on Saturday. Other than the heat and some electrical problems at the cabin the weekend was good.

We have had a great response from people wanting to help raise money for a Wilm’s tumor study. We are still waiting on some more information from Curesearch with all the final details.

Curesearch has talked Steve and me into being team leaders from Nebraska. This will mean more trips to Washington D.C. Visits with our senators and representatives here in Nebraska and whatever may come up during the year. We are really looking forward to helping make a difference.

Please remember all the kids still fighting this disease and the ones in remission. Please also remember all the angels and their families.

Diane

Tuesday, June 28, 2005 2:32 PM CDT

Hello Everyone,

I want to start out with prayer requests. Please continue to pray for the Mathis family. Haley earned her angel wings Tuesday, June 21, 2005. Friday we attended her celebration of life. So many people came to honor Haley. They wore her favorite colors - red, white, and blue and many wore a cap. It was a wonderful tribute to an amazing girl and family. We love you Haley.

Also continue to pray for Brooke. She is currently going through treatment for relapse Wilm’s. There are so many kids out there fighting this terrible disease also keep them in your prayers.

We are all hanging in there. Jess is playing volleyball this summer. She is also doing basketball and volleyball camps. She keeps busy. Tyler is working for a roofing company in Hastings. He told Steve he now knows why he comes home saying his back hurts.

Next month we will be going to Colorado with my folks for a long weekend. I am really looking forward to some relaxing time.

Steve, Jess and I went to Washington D.C. for CureSearch Gold Ribbon Days. It was a great time. Kris, Wyatt, Ali and Carter Rech and Susan (Kris’ cousin) also attended. It was great to spend some time with them. Jess and Ali are two peas in a pod.

CureSearch Gold Ribbon Days gets families together to advocate for funding for research for Childhood Cancer. We had several speakers and had a chance to visit with our congressmen and women at Capitol Hill on Wednesday. It was so great to be a part of such a large group advocating money for research for childhood cancer.

We also learned more needs to be done for funding for Wilms research. The money CureSearch receives will go to all childhood cancers. Very little will get to Wilm’s.

So together with CureSearch, Steve and I and Kris Rech and hopefully more Wilm’s families are planning to raise money for Wilm's Tumor Research. This is money that will be used specifically by the Kidney Cancer Committee for research. There seems to be so many kids losing their battles and many more that are relapsing. We will be contacting companies and families for donations. We will also most likely have some fund raisers. Curesearch is nonprofit and all donations are tax deductible.

With all the Wilm’s families working together we can become a powerful group advocating for our children and in the process make a difference in the fight against Wilm's Tumor.

Please email me if you would like information about how together we can make a difference. Also if you have any great ideas for fund raises, please send me an email.

Thanks so much to everyone for continuing to check up on us. Please keep all the families fighting this monster in your prayers.

Diane

Sunday, June 19, 2005 9:08 PM CDT

June 21, 2005

Please pray for the Mathis family. Haley earned her angel wings this morning. They are an amazing family and could sure use everyone's prayers to help get them through these very difficult days.

Diane

Hello Everyone,

First a request for prayers. Haley Mathis is in need of urgent prayers. Please visit her site and leave a note for her family. She is fighting very hard right now. They are an amazing family. www.caringbridge.org/ne/haleygirl.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY to all the wonderful fathers out there. Especially to my wonderful husband Steve. Today was a very hard day for him.

We had a great time in Washington D.C. I will update more later on Gold Ribbon Days.

Diane

Thursday, May 26, 2005 7:02 PM CDT

Wednesday, June 1, 2005

Josh it has been 6 months since we have been able to hold you. We miss you every single minute of every day.

Love you bunches,

Mom, Dad, Tyler, and Sissy

Saturday, May 28, 2005

Steve did such a great job updating I am leaving his update. I just wanted to let everyone know how proud we are of Jessica. We went to her awards program at school yesterday expecting an award for grades but was suprised. She did get an award for being on the honor roll all year but also received 3 other awards. She was named athlete of the year for 6th grade. She received an keyboarding award. She also received a Champion of Character Award. We are so very proud of Jessica for doing so well this school year. Especially with all that she has had to face this year. Way to go Jessica.

Diane

Hi it's me Steve,

Bet you never thought you would see me updating Josh's website, being computer illiterate and all. But I'm doing it so here we go.

First off I would like to ask for prayers for Haley and Brooke. They are still fighting the "BEAST" and have had
some setbacks. Haley is feeling a little something on her left side. Please pray that it is nothing too serious. Also we need prayers for Brooke tomorrow as she goes in for surgery to have a central line put in and to take a bone marrow sample. If you have some extra time, please stop by their websites and leave some kind words. They would be greatly appreciated. The websites are listed below.

Now on to our family. We are doing well and are getting along just fine. We all still miss Josh very much. We make a lot of trips to his gravesite. The headstone is up; and with the flowers and trinkets people leave, it really makes it a beautiful place.

Jessica is finished with soccer and started volleyball practice last night. Tomorrow Diane and I will be attending an awards ceremony for Jessica at her school. She will be receiving an award for outstanding grades.

Tyler is done with track and is looking forward to summer. Tyler drew a very neat and special picture of his little brother Josh. Check it out on the photo page.

Diane is busy making a wall of memory full of pictures and poems of Josh. It will be really nice when she is done and will help us remember all the good times we had with Josh. As for me, my evenings have been taken up by my cross stitching.

Tomorrow night we are having LITTLE Jessica's and Schuyler's families over for a grillout to reminisce about the loved ones that we lost too soon. It should be a good time as they are very special people.

Vacation is right around the corner. We are really looking forward to Gold Ribbon Days. I am really confident that with all of us together we will have no problem getting money set aside for research to help find a cure for Childhood Cancer.

Thanks to everyone for checking in, and prayers to all battling the "BEAST".

Steve

Thursday, April 28, 2005 11:19 AM CDT

Hello Everyone,

First I want to ask for prayers for a friend of Josh's. Jessica, "Little Jessica" as Josh would call her earned her wings last night. She is now living with Jesus and I am sure her and Josh are having a great time. Her family could sure use some encouraging words. Please stop by her web page and visit. www.caringbridge.org/ne/jessica.

Also still keep "Patrick the Great" and his family in your prayers. He earned his wings April 13. www.caringbridge.org/or/patrickcozad

Both of these families have some very difficult days ahead and could use many words of encouragement and support.

Haley left for San Diego on Monday. They should be there by now. She will be doing treatments in Mexico for about a month. So please think of them as they are away from home for so long. Please pray they find the miracle they are looking for. Jess and I saw Haley, Hanna, and Patti Saturday before they left. Haley looked awesome. I feel that miracle is just around the corner (or border). Hang tough Haley. www.caringbridge.org/ne/haleygirl

Not much new at our place. Volleyball is over and soccer is going. This summer Jessica will play volleyball again. Summer will be here before we know it. If you ask Jessica, she could tell you exactly how many days of school left.

This weekend we are going to walk in a parade with Make-a-Wish. I hope the weather warms up before Saturday.

Steve and I are still going to our grief recovery class once a week. We have 3 more weeks left. Jessica has started hers. She loves going and wants to go again the next session. They do fun things. One week we made a pillow out of one of Josh's shirts. She loves the pillow and sleeps with it.

We went to the memorial service at Children's Hospital. It was very hard to go. We had not be at Children's since Josh passed, but it was also good to be back. We saw lots of people we haven't seen since we were there last. In a way you miss going to the hospital because you meet so many wonderful people along your journey. So we will go back again and just visit the clinic and 5th floor.

We are finalizing plans for our trip to Washington D.C. to attend Gold Ribbon Days. We are all looking so forward to this. If anyway who reads this is also going to attend, please drop a note in the guestbook and let us know. It will be so great to put a face to some of the names and to get together for a great cause.

I have had several people say they want to help with Josh's birthday party. We will have everyone bring a gift for a child. We will then take the gifts to Children's Hospital to be given to all the kids that have to spend Christmas in the hospital. We are just in the thinking stages so if anyone has some great ideas let me know.

Thank you to everyone who still checks on us. Also thanks so much for continuing to sign the guestbook. We love to hear from everyone. It is great to also know we are not the only ones missing Josh each and every day.

Also say prayers for all kids fighting this terrible disease.

Diane

Thursday, March 31, 2005 11:10 AM CST

UPDATE: April 14, 2005

Another sweet boy earned his angel wings. Patrick passed away last night. He also had Wilm's. Please visit his web page and leave some words of comfort for his mom Roxanne. She is truly amazing.
www.caringbridge.org/or/patrickcozad

****************************************

Hello Everyone,

I am so sorry it has been so long since I have updated. Jessica still keeps up very busy. Soccer has started. Her first game is Saturday. Volleyball is still going. We will finish this up in April. She will then start a different volleyball league. Summer will be here before we know it. She is going to play summer basketball and do different camps.

Tyler has started track. He has already had a couple of meets. We are going to take off Friday to see him compete. He does the triple jump and pole vault.

We all had a good Easter. We went to Callaway to see Steve's family. It was so different this year. There were no small kids. We didn't even do Easter eggs. A couple of families went to Colorado skiing. Jessica went for the first time. She went with Steve's brother and his family. They had a great time.

Steve and I are taking a greif recovery class once a week. It has been very nice to meet and talk with others going through what we are. Jessica will start a support group on Monday. Steve and I will also go. We will discuss ways to help her grieve. She will be meeting with kids her age.

This Sunday Children's Hospital is having a memorial service for kids lost this past year. Steve, Jess, and I are going. It will be hard. This will be the first time we have been to Children's since Josh passed. It will be nice to see some of the people we have meet in the past year and a half.

In June, we are going to Washington D.C. to attend Gold Ribbon Days. It brings together childhood cancer patients, families, survivors, advocates and health care professionals from across the nation to raise awareness of childhood cancer and the need for a cure. We are really looking forward to this.

We are already thinking about Josh's birthday in December. We want to do something very special each year. We are working on a plan to have a huge birthday party and have everyone bring a gift for a child. We will then take the gifts to Children's Hospital to be given to all the kids that have to spend Christmas in the hospital. We are just in the thinking stages so if anyone has some great ideas let me know.

Thank you to everyone who still checks on us. Also thanks so much for continuing to sign the guestbook. We love to hear from everyone. It is great to also know we are not the only ones missing Josh each and every day.

Please continue to pray for Haley and her family. They are having a very difficult time right now. Stop by and leave a word of encouragement. www.caringbridge.org/ne/haleygirl. Also Haley is having her 12th birthday coming up on April 10th! Her family would love to knock her socks off with lots of cards. She loves to get cards in the mail. Her mailing address is Haley Mathis, PO Box 27, Panama NE 68419.

I also have a prayer request for another friend of Josh's. Her name is Jessica. She has neuroblastoma. Her family just found out she has relapsed. Please visit them at www.caringbridge.org/ne/jessica.

There is an article about Haley and her wish trip on the Make a Wish Nebraska page. Check it out. There is a good picture of Haley, Hanna, and Jessica. http://nebraska.wish.org

Also say prayers for all kids fighting this terrible disease.

Diane

Tuesday, March 1, 2005 11:30 AM CST

Hello Everyone,

Update Tuesday, March 8.

This is a prayer request for Haley and her family. They really need everyones prayers right now. Visit her web page and leave some words of encouragement. www.caringbridge.org/ne/haleygirl

**********************

It has been 3 months since Josh has passed. It seems just like yesterday. We still miss him terribly. It doesn't seem possible. I think he should still be sitting in his chair in the living room watching nickelodeon. We are all hanging in there. Jessica keeps us busy with her activites. This sure makes the days go by faster.

I would like to share with you Josh's last moments with us. A lot of you have heard this before, but it is so sweet I am going to share it again. Josh passed at 7:40 in the morning. It was a regular morning. Josh and I were sitting together in the chair. Jess and Steve were getting ready for the day ahead. Josh was always a very loving little boy. No one could ever leave the house or anywhere without hugs and kisses. Well the past few weeks he was not up to this at all. The night before he passed it took all his strength to just lift his head. Well as it was time for Steve and Jess to leave Josh sat up straight in the chair with big bright eyes and said "Daddy kiss." This was the first kiss daddy got in a while. It was so wonderful to see. He then told Jessica "I love you sissy." Steve then took Jess to school. Josh was sitting on my lap chest to chest. We just sat together for a few minutes. He was very weak. He raised his head and gave me a huge smile and then took his last breath. I believe Josh knew he was going and made sure Dad and sissy got their goodbyes. That kiss has meant the world to Steve. It sure helps him to think of this when the days get rough. Josh was thinking of us up until the last moment of his life. Also we never could have made it through the past three months without our wonderful family and friends being there for us. Thanks to all who still check up on us and sign the guestbook.

Now for prayer requests. Please keep Haley in your prayers. She is on her way back to St. Judes for more scans and to start round 2 of chemo. Please pray they get encouraging results from the scans scheduled tomorrow and Friday. Also pray for all the other children currently fighting this terrible disease. There are way too many that have to go through so much. Thanks for listening.

Diane

Monday, February 14, 2005 8:37 PM CST

Hey Everybody this is Jess I'm gonna update tonight. First I want to tell you all I'm new at this so bare with me. Second of all I hope you had a wonderful Valentine's Day. I did. I got a CareBear and a giant Hershey Kiss from my parent's. I got a bunch of candy from all my friends. I hope all the kids who are reading this got a lot af chocolate or candy. Now third I want to say Autumn I hope your scans come out great. Haley and Hanna. I hope you guys are having fun in Memphis considering. And this is someone you probably have never heard of, but my friend Chassman has a little brother I'm not sure of his name but he has a brain tumor so be sure to include them in your prayers.
Ok what my parents and I have been up to. Well I had basketball on Sunday we won by one point a freethrow to be exact. We were really excited about that. On Friday we went to my grandma's house to visit her and look for some pictures of my Uncle Steve. We made a DVD of Josh and all of his family. Well I better get going I know this was a short update, but I think I'm gonna look for some stuff on Elephants for my research paper. My mom might update sometime soon. You all have a nice night and be sure to think of Chazzy and her brother and Haley and Hanna down in Tennesee.
Love You All
Jess and my parents.

I have just a few prayer requests to add. First, I found out tonight my oldest brother, Dave, is in the hospital. He has double pneumonia and a virus in his blood. Please pray for a quick recovery. Secondly Emily is having scans on Wednesday. Please keep her and her family in your prayers. Also Matthew and his family could use prayers right know. He has relapsed again and have decided to do no more treatment. Please visit their site and give them your support (see link below). Thanks to everyone for continuing to check on us. We love hearing from everyone.

Diane

Friday, February 4, 2005 7:29 PM CST

Hello Everyone,

I will start with prayer requests today. First our friend Schuyler earned her angel wings last night. Please pray for her family as they face the difficult days ahead.

Haley is at St. Judes. After having tests done, they found some new areas of concern. Please visit her site and leave some words of encouragement for her and her family. www.caringbridge.org/ne/haleygirl

Please also continue to pray for all the other families still battling this disease.

We are doing okay. It's just one day at a time. We miss Josh so much everyday. Jessica keeps us busy with her schedule of volleyball and basketball. This Sunday she has her first volleyball tournament.

Thanks so much to everyone for continuing to check up on us and leaving notes in the guestbook.

Diane

Friday, January 28, 2005 4:19 PM CST

Hello Everyone,

Thanks to everyone who continues to check on us. We are doing okay. Some days good and some days bad. Work is getting a little bit better. I am starting to get back into the swing of things.

I have a couple of prayer requests. First is our good friend Haley. She is preparing to go to St. Judes to continue her treatment. Please pray for a safe trip and for this new treatment to be the one that finally stops her cancer. She is such a strong and wonderful girl. She so deserves some good news for a change.

My second request is for Schuyler Peterson. She is a young girl with a brain tumor. She is home on hospice. She found out a couple of months ago her cancer was back. Please pray for her and her family as they go through this very difficult time.

Also pray for all the other children also fighting this terrible disease. To all the wonderful caringbridge families that check on us, we think of you often. I get to the pages, but I haven't had the time to always sign the guestbooks. We finally upgraded to DSL at home so I hope to get to the guestbooks all very soon.

Thanks again for all the wonder thoughts and prayers.

The Brestels

Friday, January 14, 2005 4:38 PM CST

Hello Everyone,

**New Pictures**

Sorry for the long delay in updating. Words don't seem to come very easily right now.

We had a great time on vaction with the Mathis family. Florida was wonderful. It was 80 degrees the whole week. We were able to do so much. Animal Kingdom was great. All we could say over and over again was "Josh would have loved this". It made for an emotional day. We made it to all 4 disney parks, universal studios, seaworld, and the beach. It was a very busy week. We came home with 1 bag more than we took. We bought lots of stuff. We wanted to find something special for Josh. We found a mother and baby elephant. We will put this out at the cemetary in the spring. We have lots of pictures and will try to get a few on in the next couple of days. We can never thank Haley and her family enough for including us in their special trip.

I started back to work on Monday. This has been so hard. I have not worked since March. At least it gets me out of the house and keeps my mind busy.

Please pray for Haley. She has not been feeling very well lately. She was sick a couple days of vacation. She is currently in the hospital getting hydrated. Please pray the doctors get her feeling better and she can start with treatment again and beat this cancer for good.

Speaking of Haley. She is having a "Celebration of Life" and benefit on Sunday at Norris School. For anyone who would like to attend, it will be from 12-5. There will be Chili and pies, a silent auction and raffle, clowns, music groups, clogger, and more. If you are able, please plan on attending and supporting Haley and her family. Hopefully she will be out of the hospital and will be able to attend.

Thanks for continuing to check on us and signing the guestbook. I do check on everyone. I just don't always get the guestbooks signed. So please know I am thinking of and praying for all the wonderful caringbridge families we have met since Josh was diagnosed.

Diane

Monday, December 20, 2004 11:04 AM CST

Hello Everyone,

I want to start this entry with a wonderful story. Haley Mathis is going on her wish trip to Disney World January 3. Haley, being the wonderful girl she is, asked Make-a-Wish if she could take Jessica with her. Make-a-Wish made an exception. Usually just family can go. So yesterday we met with the Mathis family, Make-a-Wish, and the local paper and surprised Jessica. Thank you so much Haley for thinking of Jessica. You are truly a wonderful girl. Also thank you so much to the Mathis family for inviting Steve and I to go also. We have decided to make the trip. We were a little unsure at first, because we were suppose to go with Josh and never was able. So we have decided to honor Josh and Haley and make the trip. I am sure there will be tears along the way, but there will also be lots of smiles too. So there is a made rush around here today to get the plans finalized. We leave 2 weeks from today.

Christmas will be difficult this year for us and all families who have lost loved ones. I have a poem share with me that I am going to pass on.

My First Christmas in Heaven

I see countless Christmas trees around the world below with tiny lights, like Heaven's stars reflecting in the snow.

The sight is so spectacular. Please wipe away the tear. For I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear. But the sounds of music can't compare with the Christmas choir up here.

I have no words to tell you, the joy their voices bring. For it is beyond description to hear the angels sing.

I know how much you miss me. I see the pain inside your heart. But I am not so far away. We really aren't apart.

So be happy for me, dear ones. You know I hold you dear, and be glad I'm spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.

I sent you each a special gift from my heavenly home above. I sent you each a memory of my undying love.

After all, love is a precious gift. More precious than pure gold. It was always most important in the stories Jesus told.

Please love and keep each other, as my Father said to do. For I can't count the blessing or love he has for each of you.

So have a Merry Christmas and wipe away the tear. Remember I'm spending Christmas wish Jesus Christ this year.

I wish everyone a very Merry Christmas.

Diane

Monday, December 13, 2004 2:15 PM CST

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOSHUA!

We miss you so much. We know you are in a much better place and are going on the best safari ever.

Mom, Dad, Tyler & Sissy

We want to thank everyone for all they have done for us this past two weeks. The food, cards, visits, prayers, etc. have all been very much appreciated.

Thanks to everyone who attended and made Josh's service so wonderful. Wyatt and his family came from Minnesota. It was so wonderful to meet them. What a wonderful thing they did to come lend support to us and the Mathis family.

This brings me to our prayer request. Haley and her family need everyone's support right now. She had scans on December 1 and they showed new growth. So please remember Haley and her family. They have been so wonderful to Josh and us. She is a true inspiration to all who know her.

Diane

Wednesday, December 1, 2004 10:26 PM CST

I am so sorry I have been away for a while. I have been concentrating so on Josh. On Tuesday, November 23, we got the news that there was nothing more that could be done for Josh. We had a wonderful week with him. He got to visit with all of his family over Thanksgiving.

It is with a very heavy heart I tell you Josh passed this morning. He went very peacefully. Thank you to everyone for all their support and prayers.

Funeral arrangements:

Friday, December 3
11:00 am
American Lutheran Church
42 & Vine, Lincoln.

Memorials to the family at:

2933 N. 43 Street
Lincoln, NE 68504

Diane

Saturday, November 20, 2004 8:53 PM CST

We are home. We got home yesterday late afternoon. Josh is still puffy but getting better. They had to give him medicine for his blood pressure Thursday night. It brought it down a lot. For now they haven't started him on this everyday. They will watch it for now. They think it had a lot to do with his retaining fluids. He is doing some much better at home. We will start chemo again on Monday. Then after 3 weeks schedule scans. He is also taking Thalomide. This is the medicine that keeps the tumors from growing blood vessels and in turn should help kill the tumors. It is a very toxic medicine so we have to be very careful when giving to him. It was given to pregnant women in the 50's and caused severe birth defects. Let's just hope it helps and does it's job.

Diane

Thursday, November 18, 2004 8:15 PM CST

We are still here. We thought this would be a short overnight stay. We should know by now it never goes as you think it will. Josh's kidney counts are doing better. He is retaining some water. His legs and feet are very puffy. They have given him some meds to help with this. It did work but he will still be getting more. His blood pressure has been high. They think this might be due to the water retention. If the meds don't help, they will start him on blood pressure meds. He is still having some back pains and is still doing morphine as needed.

Let's hope tommorrow we can get home.

Diane

Wednesday, November 17, 2004 12:51 AM CST

Josh is back in the hospital. Yesterday at his appointment they did blood work and found that his kidney counts were elevated again. He was admitted and this morning they replaced his stent. Their thinking was that there was a blockage in the stent. He did fine with surgery and is feel good. We hope this will take care of the problem. We will be here at least until tomorrow. After that we do not know. His blood pressure is running high. So they are watching it close. Also last night they heard a heart murmur for the first time. This may not be anything to worrying about at this time. They are also going to start him on a new med. I can't recall the name at this time. What it does is stops the tumor from forming new blood vessels and this in turn should kill off the tumor. We will see. They feel this may help with the blood in the urine. We will keep updating and we find out more. As many of you know things seem to change hourly around here.

Diane

Monday, November 15, 2004 5:20 PM CST

Hello Everyone,

Josh is doing pretty well. His back still hurts at times, but it is much better. He is only doing morphine about 3 times a day. When the pain started he was doing it every 2-3 hours. So this is a good sign. His platlets are low again. He had platlets twice last week and scheduled to have them again tomorrow. He had blood last Tuesday and just had more today. He has blood in his urine all the time now. They think this is from the tumor breaking apart and his body is dispensing it through the kidney. However when he has blood in his urine all the time it brings down is blood count. This is why we have had blood so often lately. We have an appointment in Omaha tomorrow to discuss some options regarding this. I am not sure what they will be. They don't like to tell you anything over the phone. So we will see what tomorrow brings.

We had a good weekend. We were able to go to a family wedding on Saturday. It was great fun. Congratulations Brent & Jill. Pam, you did a great job.

I feel like I have not been saying thank you enough to everyone for all they do for us. Thanks of course to our wonderful families. Without them we could not make it through this ordeal. Also thanks to everyone who signs the guestbook and leaves such wonderful words of hope and encouragement. Thanks to everyone at American Lutheran for their wonderful support and many prayers. Also, a big thank you to everyone at St. Peter's in Davenport. Thanks for keeping Josh in your prayers and thanks to all for the wonderful notes and cards. Thanks to Patty for keeping everyone updated in the newsletter.

I will update again when we find out more at his appointment.

Diane

Saturday, November 6, 2004 8:45 AM CST

Hello Everyone,

Josh is doing pretty good. He had an appointment on Thursday. His counts are doing pretty good except his platlets are getting low. He got his flu shot which he was not happy about. The doctor said we will not do a scan until after 2 rounds of this chemo. A round is 3 weeks of chemo and 1 week off. Today we started the 3rd week of chemo. He still is on morphine but is not needing as much. I think this is a good sign of the chemo working. Time will tell.

I have a prayer request today. Our friend Haley found out yesterday that she has a spot on her spin and still one spot on her brain. She needs some extra prayers. They are not yet sure what her treatment will be. Please pray the doctors find the right treatment and this new cancer is taken care of quickly.

Diane

Tuesday, November 2, 2004 10:25 AM CST

Hello,

Not much new going on here. Josh is doing good with his chemo at home. He is still having back pains. So he is still taking morphine and tylenol. The doctor said we need to give the chemo at least a couple of weeks before we should see a change. Two weeks is up this Friday. Let's pray the pain will start to decrease soon.

Diane

Tuesday, October 26, 2004 12:27 AM CDT

Hello Everyone,

Sorry for the delay in updating. We got out of the hospital Friday afternoon. Josh went home on oral morphine. He also started his new chemo (vp16). This will be an oral chemo. He takes it twice a day. He is still having back pains. Yesterday wasn't such a good day. We started giving the morphine more often and also giving tylenol. This seems to be doing a little better. His counts are doing good so far. Let's hope that continues. Tonight if he feels well, we are going to Boo at the Zoo.

Diane

Thursday, October 21, 2004 6:40 PM CDT

Well, here we are again. We are back in the hospital. We got here yesterday afternoon. Josh was up most of Tuesday night with back pains. We started the day in the clinic. They did blood work. His counts look good. His kidney function is okay. Next he had an ultrasound. His kidney looked good. They didn't notice anything different since the last ultrasound a couple of weeks ago. So we were admitted to the hospital and scheduled for an MRI. He is getting morphine for the pain. Tylenol just doesn't help. He had his MRI this morning. They were looking to be sure the cancer had not spread to the spine. It has not. After comparing this MRI to the CT scan done on August 23, there has been no decrease in the size of the tumors. The radiologist feels if there was any change it would be a little larger. So we will be starting him on a new chemo drug tomorrow. This will be an oral chemo (TP16). He will do this once a day for 21 days. He will then have a week off before starting another round. Their hopes are still to shrink the tumors enough that surgery would be an option. The good new is it sounds like we will be out of here tomorrow. We will do his chemo at home and will also go home on morphine for the pain. He is actually doing good as long as they control the pain. He is in good spirits.

Diane

Tuesday, October 19, 2004 8:01 AM CDT

Sorry for the delay in updating. Josh had a great weekend.
We were able to get out and about. Friday night he spent with Grandma and Grandpa and Uncle Joe and Aunt Rhonda while Steve and I went to his big brother's football game. Saturday he spend the day with his cousins Mandy and Jordan while Steve and I went to the Husker football game. On Sunday we took him to see the movie Shark Tales.

So yesterday we were back to business. We went to St. E's for counts. His platlets are still lower then they like when doing chemo but they decided we couldn't wait any longer. So yesterday we started chemo. It was a long afternoon at the hospital. We got home about 7:00 pm. Today we will be back. He will get blood and chemo today. It will be another long day. We will do chemo Monday through Friday and take the weekend off. Then again next week. After that they will schedule CT scans. He is on 2 antibiotics and zofran. So we fight with him everyday to get all the meds down him. They are hoping the antibiotics will help fight off the diarrhea this time.

Diane

Wednesday, October 13, 2004 8:07 AM CDT

Josh is doing great. He had a great weekend. He was able to do a lot of playing outside. He hasn't felt this good in a long time. We went for counts on Monday. Everything is good. His platlets were dropping but not low enough for a transfusion. His stools are back to normal. He is taking two different antibiotics orally. These should help with the diarrhea when we start chemo again. We will go to the clinic tomorrow. They will then decide what the plan is regarding chemo.

Diane

Friday, October 8, 2004 2:33 PM CDT

Josh is home. He is feeling much better. He is still getting fluids at night. At least for the next couple of weeks. We still do not know when we will start chemo again. Hopefully some time next week. I hate to wait too long. Especially with his past history while off chemo. It is just so great to be home. He always does so much better here. Thanks to everyone who visited and called while we were in the hospital.

Diane

Monday, October 4, 2004 7:20 PM CDT

Hello everyone,

We are still at Children's. Josh is still getting fluids. His diarrhea isn't any better. We give him morphine at night. This seems to slow it down so he can get some sleep. His blood cultures and stool samples all came back negative. He has not run a fever for about a day and a half. So this is all coming from the chemo. It just has to run its course.

He had a ultrasound today. It went pretty well. It showed the tumor that was growing behind the bladder and around the ureter is gone. The others are still the same.

Diane

Saturday, October 2, 2004 5:29 PM CDT

Josh is back in the hospital today. We started in Lincoln at St. Elizabeth's for chemo this morning. He has not eaten for the last couple of days. He is having a hard time keeping anything down. He also has diarrhea and we can not keep his imodium down. So before they started chemo this morning they called his oncologist. She wanted to run some blood test, give him fluids and wait on the chemo. He blood work came back and some things were high and some things low. So they sent us to Children's in Omaha. He is currently getting fluids and they are watching for fevers. His platlets are low. So he will get some today. They will repeat blood work tomorrow morning and see where they are and then decide what is next.

Diane

Friday, October 1, 2004 8:55 AM CDT

Josh is still doing pretty good with his chemo. If only we could get him to eat. He just doesn't have much of an appetite. I am afraid he will probably have to go back on TPN, but if that is what it takes to get some weight on him that is okay. This chemo does seem to give him an upset stomache. We have to be sure he takes his zofran. Of the 8 chemo drugs he has had this is the first that seems to bother him. Maybe that is a good sign we finally found the right one.

We have been doing his chemo here in Lincoln. They set it up with St E's. This is working out great. We will go to Omaha on Monday to be seen by the doctor. Then they will decide if we will continue another two weeks of chemo or take a week off before starting the last 2 weeks. It all depends on how Josh is feeling and his counts.

At the end of four weeks of chemo, he will have scans done. After that we are not sure of the plans.

Diane

Monday, September 27, 2004 1:37 PM CDT

We are home!

We got home last night about 5:00. Josh was so happy to be out of the hospital. He is doing good. His kidney counts are almost back to normal. His back pain is much better. He has finished his first 5 days of his new chemo and he has had no problems yet. We start the 2nd week tomorrow. After we finish the second week, we then decide if we take a week off or continue with 2 more weeks. It all depends on how he tolerates the chemo.

Thanks to everyone for thinking of us this past week.

Diane

Thursday, September 23, 2004 2:21 PM CDT

Hello everyone,

Josh started chemo yesterday. He is starting a new drug (Irinotecan). We have not done a ct scan yet. His kindey counts are down but not low enough yet. The dr. does not what to risk damaging the kidney. He is sure that the last drug was not working. This chemo we will do once a day for 5 days and then take a day off and then for another 5 days. Then we will take a week off and then do another cycle. The doctors here have never given this drug for wilm's but have for other soft tissue tumors. Josh is still having some pains in the back the last couple of days. He actually has asked for medicine. If you know Josh and how he hates medicine, you know he must be in pain. So lets hope this gets better over the next few days. He did get his foley out today so maybe if we get up and move around more his back will feel better. He still runs a high fever on and off. The cultures so far have all come back negative. So they are not sure what is causing these. I will update again in a couple of days.

Diane

Tuesday, September 21, 2004 2:26 PM CDT

Josh is back in the hospital. He was having back pains on and off since Friday night. On Sunday, he started having blood in his urine and by the night his back pains were so bad the tylenol would not help. He also started complaining of headaches. So about 11:30 Sunday night we decided to drive him up to Omaha. We started in the ER. After they saw his blood and took his blood pressure, they decided they were admitting him. His blood work showed his cretin level very high. This determines how well the kidney is functioning. So Monday morning they did an ultrasound to check the kidney. They cannot do an CT scan with his cretin count high. They also cannot start his chemo until all is good with his kidney. The unltrasound showed swelling and his urine input was down. They felt most likely he has a blockage that was not letting the kidney drain. So at 3:30 Monday afternoon they put a stent in his ureter. We were back in our room by 5:30. He was doing great. His kidney is draining great. His counts are going down. This morning it was down to 2.1. They want it to be 0.5 or close. He is also on antibiotics. He starting running a fever last night. Today it is back down. His blood pressure is working it's way down also. So all is looking good with the kidney. He has not had pain meds since surgery yesterday. So his back is doing better. We are just playing the waiting game again. Once all his kidney counts are were they want them, we will decide the next step. Either a CT scan to check on the tumors or start chemo again. Thanks so everyone for checking on Josh.

Diane

Tuesday, September 14, 2004 4:27 PM CDT

Hello everyone,

We had a very good weekend. Josh's ANC count is finally up and he can get out and about. So Friday night, we went to his big brother's football game. We then spent the night at my folks. On Saturday, we all went to Jessica's soccer games in Hastings. Then right after we had to head back to Lincoln for the benefit that Hamilton College was putting on for Josh, Haley and Brooke. We had a great time. Thanks to Tina and everyone at Hamilton College for the hard work. It was great to see Haley and Brooke and their families. On Sunday we all were able to go to church for the first time in a long time. It was great to see everyone there.

Yesterday he had an unltrasound to see how the new chemo is working. There was no change in the size of the tumors. This is not all bad, because it did not grow either. So we will do another round of the topotecan and then do a CT scan. His platlets were low again. So we were not able to start chemo yet. Which makes me nervous. The doctor wants his bone marrow to have a chance to recovery more before we start. We will have counts again on Thursday to see how everything is doing. I am just hoping his platlets rise fast so he he isn't off the chemo too long.

Diane

Wednesday, September 8, 2004 3:00 PM CDT

Hello everyone,

Josh is doing great. We are still stuck at home with low counts. We went for counts on Monday and Josh's platlets were very low. We waited around for the hospital to call when the platlets were ready. Finally around 4:30 I called them and they said they were having some shipped in from Sioux City. They were supposed to be here about 6:00. Around 7:00 I finally called back and was told they would not be here until Tuesday. So Tuesday we headed up to Omaha to get platlets. We talked to his doctor for a little while. They are scheduling a ultrasound for Monday. This is also the day he should start his next round of chemo. This all depends on his counts. We will go in again tomorrow for counts. Let's hope they are going up. We have a lot of things going on this weekend and hope Josh can get out and about. Friday Tyler has a football game. Saturday Jessica has two soccer games. Then Saturday night is the benefit for Josh, Haley, and Brooke. The benfit starts at 5:00 pm. We will not be there when it starts. Jessica's last game is at 4:30 in Hastings. So we should be able to make the benefit by 7:30. Thanks to everyone for checking on us and signing Josh's guestbook.

Diane

Tuesday, August 31, 2004 10:34 AM CDT

Josh is doing good today. He hasn't run a fever since Saturday morning. We went in for blood work yesterday. His platlets were very low. So yesterday we were at St. E's for a transfusion. Also his ANC on Friday was 2667. Yesterday is was only 128. So that means we are home. We did get to Jessica's soccer game on Saturday. They won 4-2, and Jessica scored her first goal of the year. After the game we headed to my parent's. That was great to be able to see everyone.

We will go in on Thursday for more blood work. We have to be very careful with Josh. If he runs any kind of fever, we will be in the hospital. Let's hope all goes well.

Tomorrow our friend Haley will have scans. Please pray that she has good results and some positive news.

Thanks again for signing the guestbook. We love reading the notes from everyone.

Diane

Saturday, August 28, 2004 8:13 AM CDT

Josh finished his first week of his new chemo. He is doing pretty good. His counts are still pretty high. He runs very high fevers with this chemo. The first day of this was on Wednesday. His fever was 103.3. I gave him tylenol and that took care of it right away. On Thursday, he was as high as 104.4. I called the clinic and this is just a side effect of the chemo. Tylenol did not seem to work this time. He ran the fever for about 4 hours and then it just broke on its own. He was fine the rest of the night. Friday was the same thing. He got as high as 104.7. This morning he still has a very low grade fever but feeling fine. He also broke out in a rash on Thursday night. It doesn't seem to bother him to much. You just see him itching alot. Jessica has a soccer game today. As long as everything is okay, we are all going to go. We are getting out while his counts are still high. Who know how long this will last. Thanks to everyone for checking on Josh and us and for leaving the wonderful message.

Diane

Tuesday, August 24, 2004 9:13 AM CDT

I cannot believe I am saying this again. Josh has relapsed. We had scans yesterday. They found an orange size tumor sitting where his left kidney use to sit. He also has one growing around his urethra. Also the right kidney has a small spot on the top. He started on a new chemo drug yesterday. He will do this for five days and then have three weeks off before we start again. This new chemo will be done outpatient. So we drive to Omaha everyday. This is much better than being stuck in the hospital. In about 3-4 weeks he will have an ultrasound. They will check to see if the new chemo is working. Right now surgery is not an option. The tumors are too close to too many main arteries and veins. There is too much of a risk of bleeding. So we will try to shrink it in order to be able to do surgery. We don't know what the future holds regarding his treatment. We first need to see if the new drug will work. We will just take it one day at a time. Considering everything Josh is feeling pretty good. He still has back pains every so often. Hopefully those will go away which would be a good sign the chemo is working.

Please pray the doctors find the right chemo drug to finally rid Josh of this cancer. Also keep Haley in your prayers. She is waiting for counts to come up so she can start her radiation.

Diane

Friday, August 20, 2004 8:54 AM CDT

Josh had blood work done yesterday. Finally they have started to go up. They have been hanging at 49. They need to be 75 to start chemo. Yesterday they were 67. We are almost there. Hopefully they will be there on Monday.

Josh has been complaining of his back hurting the last couple of days. We are hoping it is just bone pain from all the radiation. He is scheduled for CT scans on Monday. So we will go to Omaha to get blood work done. His scans will be done. If counts are high enough, we will probably be admitted to start chemo.

Diane

Friday, August 13, 2004 9:28 AM CDT

Well Josh's counts are still not high enough. So we will try again on Monday.

Last night we went to the Cancer Sucks Campout at Hamilton College. We had a good time. We got to visit with Brooke and her family and the kids had a great time with the dunking tank. They are working hard on the benefit in September for Josh, Brooke, and Haley. Thank you to Tina and everyone at Hamilton College.

I have put new pictures on today and I will update next week again. Thanks to everyone for checking in on Josh and signing the guestbook.

Diane

Tuesday, August 10, 2004 1:43 PM CDT

Just a very quick update. Josh is still home. His counts are still not high enough. We will check again on Thursday.

Diane

UPDATE!!!

CANCER SUCKS CAMPOUT FOR HALEY, JOSH AND BROOKE IS BEING HELD THIS WEEKEND STARTING THURSDAY AND ENDING SUNDAY. THURSDAY WILL BE THE FUN DAY WITH A DUNKING BOOTH, FROZEN T-SHIRT CONTEST, RAFFLES, AND BBQ STARTING AROUND 3. 1821 K STREET EVERYONE IS WELCOME AND HELP SHOW YOUR SUPPORT FOR THESE CHILDREN AND HELP RAISE MONEY FOR THEIR UPCOMING BENEFIT. THANK YOU ALL AND HOPE TO SEE YOU THERE.

Tuesday, August 3, 2004 9:06 AM CDT

Josh had counts done yesterday. They are not high enough for chemo yet. Actually his platlets were down from Thursday. His white cell count is doing great. We will have counts again on Thursday. We will continue Monday and Thursday blood work until his counts are high enough to start. Hopefully this will be soon. This waiting around is not fun. I would rather start. The soon we start the sooner we are done. Josh has had a chance to go to daycare while we are waiting. He really enjoys being there. Even if it is just for a short time. Once he starts chemo again, he is stuck at home with Mom.

Diane

Thursday, July 29, 2004 5:47 PM CDT

There is not much new going on here. Josh is doing good. We were in clinic today for blood work. His counts are doing great. They continue to climb. If they keep up, we will be doing chemo next week. We will have them checked on Monday again. The plan is to do three more rounds of chemo. His rounds are three weeks apart, as long as his counts are high enough. It is nice to finally have a plan and to know what to expect chemo wise. We will update next week after counts.

Diane

Sunday, July 25, 2004 9:29 PM CDT

Josh is doing great. He did wonderful with radiation this last week. All the nurses have been spoiling him. Tomorrow is his last day. On Friday he had radiation and then had minor sugery to remove a stent that ran from his kidney to his bladder. This was inserted in March when the second tumor was found. He did fine.

As soon as all his counts are high enough, he will start chemo again. I am not sure how long it will take for them to raise.

I have a couple of prayer requests. First our friend Hailey who has also been fighting Wilm's had some bad news last week. She will be having surgery tomorrow for a tumor found on the base of her brain. They are not sure if it is Wilm's or not. Please pray for good results and a quick recovery.

Secondly my niece, Whitney, will be having surgery, also at Children's, on Tuesday. She will have a rod put in her back. Her surgery is scheduled to last 8 hours. Please pray that she does well and has a quick recovery.

Thanks to everyone.

Diane

Wednesday, July 14, 2004 3:39 PM CDT

Hi Everyone,

Sorry I haven't updated sooner. We have been going to Omaha everyday since last Wednesday (7th). Josh is doing radiation. He is feeling great. He has had no side effects so far. Let's hope this continues. He will have a total of 12 treatments. Our last day will be June 23. He has to be put to sleep for every threatment. This is because he needs to be absolutely still the whole time and he is in the room by himself. We were hoping after a couple treatments he would be a little less scared and able to do it awake. I don't think that will happen. Just the thought of having to stay in the room all by himself scares him. When we are done with radiation and as soon as his counts are high enough, he will do another round of chemo. We are not sure how many more we will have. We are prepared to do whatever it takes.

Last Friday, we did the Relay for Life in Lincoln. It was great. Our team name was Josh's Dudes. Josh calls his imaginary friends his dudes. Their names are Brent and Charlie. We camped out all night. It was very emotional to walk the survivor lap with Josh and all the others who have fought this battle and won. Also the lighting of the illuminaries was great. Thank you to everyone who bought one is Josh's honor. Also thanks to everyone who walked and camped out with us Rhonda & Joe and family, Teresa and family, Mike and Jan, Jim & Nancy and family.

Diane

Monday, July 5, 2004 9:08 PM CDT

Hello Everyone,

I hope everyone had a great 4th of July. Josh is doing great. Last week we were in Omaha Monday through Thursday. Monday he had his line put in for the stem cell harvest. Tuesday and Wednesday they harvested. On Thursday we were back to have the line removed. He did great all week. On Wednesday we are heading back to Omaha for the start of radiation. He will have 12 treatments total. We should be done July 23. Then as soon as his counts are high enough, he will start chemo again.

Last weekend we got to go visit Steve's mom and dad. Today we just got back from visiting my folks. It was so great to see both grandparents before we start treatment again. Who knows when we will be able to get away again.

This Friday is the Relay for Life in Lincoln. Our team name is Josh's Dudes. Josh will be walking in the survivor lap. We are a little disorganized this year. We didn't decide to walk until late. It will still be a great time. We walk from 7 pm on Friday to 7 am on Saturday. Wish us luck.

Diane

Thursday, June 24, 2004 3:45 PM CDT

Hello,

We had an appointment yesterday at the University Medical Center. As long as all the blood tests come back okay, we will start the stem cell harvest next week. He will start Friday night taking shots to help raise his white blood cell counts. On Monday, he is scheduled to have a tube put in his chest. This is just temporary. On Tuesday, they will start the harvest. They are not sure how many days it will take. Approximately 1-3. He will be hooked up to a machine for about 6 hours each day. His blood will circulate through the machine and it will remove the stem cells and return to his body the rest. When the harvest is complete, they will store the stem cell in the event he will be a transplant at a later date. After the harvest is complete, he will start radiation. He will have 12 days. After that we are still unsure regarding his treatment.

Diane

Wednesday, June 16, 2004 1:54 PM CDT

Hi Everyone,

Josh is doing great. We stopped in Omaha on our way back from Minnesota. His counts are good. We are not for sure what the next step will be. The oncologists are waiting to hear from the doctors at the University Medical Center regarding the stem cell harvest.

We had a wonderful vacation. Josh looked awesome in his tux. It was so great to see him have such a great time. He had no worries of doctors or needles. I will try to get pictures on in the next couple of days.

I want to thank everyone who attended and planned the ice cream social on June 7. Everyone did a wonderful job and it was a great success. Josh even was able to attend. We have such wonderful family and friends. Their support makes this experience so much easier. Thank you to all.

Diane

Tuesday, June 1, 2004 9:06 AM CDT

Hello Everyone,

We are finally home. We got home last night. Josh had to have platlets and blood yesterday before we left. We didn't get out of the hospital until 6:00. We are doing 2 antibiotics and 12 hours of IV fluids at home. This is okay. At least we are finally home. He was so excited when they disconnect his IV last night and he was finally free to move without pulling something behind. His counts are not much better. He will be on antibiotics until his ANC count is above 500 for three days. His counts should start going up any day. Hopefully we will be done this weekend or early next week. He is looking forward to going outside this afternoon. He has a 5 hour break from being hooked up to antibiotics. If all goes well, we will be going to Minnesota on June 10 for a wedding on the 12. Josh is the ringbear. After we get back then he will have to start again on treatments. Our next step is a bone marrow harvest for a possible bone marrow transplant. We do not know all the detail yet. It would consist of 2 days at the University Medical Center. Radiation would start after the harvest. He will have about 12 treatments. Then the transplant would be sometime after radiation. We will update when we know more details. Right now we are just working on getting counts up so we can finish antibiotics and be free of tubes for a couple of weeks.

Diane

PS: On the photo page there is a copy of the flyers being sent out for the benefit on June 7.

Sunday, May 30, 2004 1:06 PM CDT

We are still in the hospital. His counts have hit rock bottom. Hopefully any day they will start going up and we can go home. It is really hard being here when he feels so well. He is still doing antibiotics. He will finish these on June 9.

Diane

Wednesday, May 26, 2004 2:42 PM CDT

We thought we were going to be able to go home today. But his oncologist wants him to stay longer. He is worried because his counts are at 0. Needless to say we were very disappointed. We will be here until his counts start going up. This usually take 3-4 days. It looks like we may spend another holiday in the hospital.

Josh is feeling great. No fever, no pain. He is just here getting antibiotics.

Diane

PS: On the photo page there is a copy of the flyers being sent out for the benefit on June 7.

Tuesday, May 25, 2004 8:19 PM CDT

We are still at the hospital. Josh has not had a fever since Saturday afternoon. We did find out today we will not have to remove the port. He got his back drain out last night. We hope all goes well and he does not have to have it put back in later. We are hoping to be out of here in the next couple of day. We are trying to talk the doctors into letting us go home. We will see how that goes.

I want to thank everyone for the wonderful benefit at church on Sunday. It was so great to see everyone. Thank you to everyone who attended and also to all the wonderful people who volunteered and put in the hard work of planning. Steve and I have been blessed with a great church family and wonderful friends and family.

Diane

PS: On the photo page there is a copy of the flyers being sent out for the benefit on June 7.

Saturday, May 22, 2004 6:10 PM CDT

We are still in the hospital. Josh is still running a fever. Last night it was as high as 104.4. This morning they told us he has an infection in his port not his drain. So he was started on IV antibiotics. They do not know yet what kind of infection he has. They should know tomorrow. This will tell us if the antibiotics will work or if he needs to have his port removed. Hopefully the antibiotics will take care of it and we won't be here too long.

Diane

PS: On the photo page there is a copy of the flyers being sent out for the benefit on June 7.

Friday, May 21, 2004 5:38 PM CDT

Hello,

It is friday late afternoon and we are still at the hospital. Joshua started running a fever during the night. It got as high as 103.4. Today he has been fever free since about 11:00 am. They have run several cultures and finally this afternoon found out his back drain is the source of the infection. They will be starting him on antibiotics and then we wait and see how long we have to stay. We sure hope we can all be home on Sunday for the pancake feed at church. Time will tell. Thank you to everyone for the wonderful notes left in the guestbook.

Yesterday Josh had an appointment with Dr. Prows. She is the doctor who will do the radiation. It sounds like we will start that in about 3 weeks. He will have approximately 2 weeks of treatments. Then he should have a couple more rounds of chemo.

Tonight we were going to go to a fund raiser for childhood cancer in Lincoln. It is put on by Grant Wistrom (ex-husker football player). There will be several old players and coaches attending. One of Joshua's nurses from the clinic helps with it every year and she invited us. We are all so disappointed we did not get to attend. Maybe next year.

I will update when I know we will be going home. Thanks everyone for all the prayers.

Diane

Tuesday, May 18, 2004 7:18 PM CDT

GOOD NEWS!!

Finally I get to update with good news. Josh had his CT scans today. The nurse from the clinic stopped with the preliminary report from the oncologist. Everything looks clear. They do not see any more tumors. His lungs are clear and his neck is clear. We will get a more complete report tomorrow when we see the oncologist again. Thank you to everyone for all your prayers. They worked wonders for Josh. We still do not know how much more chemo he will have. We will start a three day round tomorrow and then in about 3 weeks, we will start radiation. We are not sure yet what will happen after radiation.

I will update more after talking to the doctors tomorrow.

Diane

PS: On the photo page there is a copy of the flyers being sent out for the benefit on June 7.

Monday, May 17, 2004 3:32 PM CDT

Hi Everyone,

Tomorrow Josh has his CT Scans. Let's hope and pray everything looks good and the tumors are shrinking. He will then be admitted for chemo. We should get out on Friday if all goes well.

I know some of you have asked about benefits for Josh. There are two coming up in the next few weeks. The first one is at our church, American Lutheran Church, 42 & Vine St. in Lincoln. It is this Sunday the 23 from 9:00 to 2:00. They will be having a pancake feed. The second one will be on June 7 at Huntington Elementary School, 47 & Adams in Lincoln. This will be an ice cream social. They are going to have a silent auction, raffle tickets, kids games, etc. It will be from 5:00 to 7:30.

Thank you to everyone who has been working so hard on both benefits.

Diane

Tuesday, May 11, 2004 9:21 PM CDT

Josh got home yesterday. He is doing good. His counts are way up. We can stop his shots for now. He still has his drains. Next Tuesday we go in for scans and will be admitted for the next round of chemo. Let's just pray the scans show the chemo is working.

Diane

Friday, May 7, 2004 7:40 PM CDT

This will be a quick update. Josh is back at the hospital. He started running a fever last night. So about 10:30, we headed up here. He is getting IV antibiotics. Hopefully we will not be here very long. He needs to be fever free for 24 hours.

To all the mothers out there have a great Mothers' Day.

Diane

Tuesday, May 4, 2004 11:04 AM CDT

Well it didn't happen. We had to go to Children's yesterday. During the night on Sunday, Josh's drainage tube broke. We called Dr. Morton during the night and he said it could wait until morning. So about 7:30 Monday morning the hospital called to say he was scheduled at 10:00 to have the drain replaced and there is a chance we would stay overnight. After a quick job of packing and getting ready, we headed to Omaha. They replaced the drain and by 1:00 we were leaving to go to the clinic. They drew blood when we were first there and Josh needed a transfusion. After spending 3 hours in the clinic, we were on our way home. Josh was in a much better mood. He was so glad we did not have to stay. So were Mom and Dad.

Steve and I are getting better at giving him his shots at night. We also hook him up to his TPN (food) at night and unhook the next day. Hopefully he will not need this much longer. He does eat some when he is not hooked to the TPN. We will go in on Thursday for more blood work to see how his counts are doing.

His CT scan is scheduled for May 18 and he will then be admitted for chemo (as long as his counts are good enough). We just hope and pray the scan show the chemo is working.

Diane

Friday, April 30, 2004 12:06 AM CDT

We are home. We got home yesterday afternoon. Home health came out and are teaching Steve and I to hook up his TPN (food)and give his shots. He is doing good and feeling good. Hopefully we will not be back to the hospital until his next round of chemo is scheduled.

Diane

Tuesday, April 27, 2004 5:29 PM CDT

Hi Everyone,

This will be fast. Josh started chemo today. I talked to Dr. G. We will be able to go home Thursday after he finishes his chemo. Home health will still come out and hook up his TPN (food). They will also be teaching Steve and I to give Josh's shots.

I have not talked to the Dr. Morton (urologist) yet. So I do not know if we will be going home with catheders and tubes again or not. Let's hope we get rid of at least one of them. Josh is in good spirits this time. He doesn't start crying every time a doctor or nurse comes in the room.

Josh will have a CT scan 3 weeks from today to check how the tumors are reacting to the chemo. We will also have to start radiation some time in the near future. They are just not sure when.

Diane

Monday, April 26, 2004 12:56 AM CDT

Hi Everyone,

This is just a fast update. We are at clinic in Omaha. Josh will be admitted. Chemo will start tomorrow. So it looks like we will be here the week at least. I will update when we finally get to our room and find out all the details.

Diane

Saturday, April 24, 2004 4:04 PM CDT

Hi,

We are home for the weekend. Josh's doctors thought a break from the hospital would do him good. They are hoping he will start to eat and drink more here at home. He still has all his tubes. Home health comes twice a day. Once at night to hook him up to his TPN (food) and then in the early afternoon to take him off. We will go into the clinic on Monday for blood work. If his counts are good enough they will go ahead and start his second round of chemo. It is great to be home even if it is just for a couple of days. His attitude is better, but he still hasn't eaten very much. I will update after Monday and we know more of what is going to happen.

Diane

Wednesday, April 21, 2004 1:59 PM CDT

Hello Everyone,

Josh is still hanging in there. Not much new to report. He has not had a fever for the last couple of days. We are still waiting for his counts to come up again. His drain still has drainage. So we just need to hang out longer. He is scheduled to start chemo again next Wednesday. It looks like we will probably be here until then.

Thanks to everyone for all the great prayers and wishes.

Diane

1 Corinthians 10:13

No testing has overtaken you that is not common to everyone. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tested beyond your strengths, but with the testing he will also provide the way out so that you may be able to endure it

Friday, April 16, 2004 10:13 PM CDT

Hello Everyone,

I am updating this page from home. Steve is staying with Josh tonight. It is so great to be home. Even if it is just for overnight. Today Josh had the stent in his ureter replaced. The drainage from his drain in his abdomen has already slowed down. So they feel the old one was plugged. Last night he started running a fever. They did a chest xray which came back okay. Today he was started on IV antibiotics. He has no white blood cells to fight infections. So in order to even think about going home, he needs to be fever free for 24 hours and his counts need to start coming back up.

Thanks to everyone for the wonderfuls cards, call and guestbook entries.

Diane

Wednesday, April 14, 2004 8:03 PM CDT

Thank you to everyone for their wonderful entries in the guestbook.

Josh is doing good today. The ultrasound on Monday went fine. They were checking to make sure the sac off the kidney had not returned. It has not. His swelling is gone. So he is feeling much better. He still has a lot of fluid coming out of the abdomen drain. They are going to test it to see how much urine is in it. If there is still a lot, they may decide to replace the stent that is in the ureter. It may have a blockage. This would not be a huge procedure. It is done in radiology.

Josh is finally starting to get his personality back. He has been so in the dumps and would not talk to anyone. Not even Mom and Dad. It is so great to see him smile. He cries everytime a doctor or nurse comes in the room. Today he said "Mom you are right. Doctors are nice."

Still no word on when we will go home. They did say they want the drainage to slow down before they will think about it.

Diane

1 Corinthians 10:13

No testing has overtaken you that is not common to everyone. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tested beyond your strengths, but with the testing he will also provide the way out so that you may be able to endure it

Saturday, April 10, 2004 12:16 AM CDT

I will try to remember everything that has happen in the last couple of days and get everyone updated. Josh started his chemo on Wednesday. He had three different chemo drugs. On Thursday he had 2 drugs. Last night was his last chemo. He had just one drug. He had tolerated the new drugs great. He is getting two medicine each day to keep him from getting sick. Tonight he will have to start shots. He has to take these because his white blood cell counts will get so low with the new chemo. He will have these everyday until his counts go back up. When we finally get home, Steve and I will have to do this. Wednesday night he starting retaining alot of fluid. His abdomen was huge. His legs and feet are also very swollen. This is what is causing most of the discomfort he is having know. He bowels are not moving like they should so this adds to the problem. He is getting laxative and some medicine to help him urinate more. Yesterday they finally did a xray and CT scan. He has urine leaking from the kidney forming a sac on the outside. This is caused from the last surgery. The kidney just needs time to heal. So last night they took him into surgery and drained the fluid and inserted another drain in his abdomen. This he will probably have for awhile. He is finally starting to get rid of some of the fluid. He is not as swollen today. He slept most of the morning today. He has not slept well in several weeks. We do not any idea when we will get to go home. Monday they have ordered an ultrasound. From that we will see how he is doing.

Thanks to everyone for the wonderful entries in the guestbook.

Diane

1 Corinthians 10:13

No testing has overtaken you that is not common to everyone. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tested beyond your strengths, but with the testing he will also provide the way out so that you may be able to endure it.

Wednesday, April 7, 2004 9:46 AM CDT

CANCER SUCKS!!!

We are back in the hospital. Since surgery Josh has been having a lot of problems with pain and constipation. We made a run to the emergency run on Sunday. After tests he was given an enema and put on a laxative. Monday during the night we went back to emergency. He was still in pain and was not having bowel movements. His surgeon and oncologist came down to see him. He was a little dehydrated and put on fluids. While we were there the surgeon decided to go ahead and do a base line CT scan and double his laxative dosage. Then the nurse told us that his oncologist would be back to see him and we were being admitted. She had no idea why. When he finally came down, we could tell it wasn't good news. They found a lot more cancer. He has some in both lungs, neck, abdomen, esophogus (sp??), glands. They will be starting chemo today. He will have three days of chemo and then off for 3 weeks. He will then have another 3 day treatment. This will be very strong chemo. He will have to take shots to help with his white cell count. The chemo will wipe it out. We are still hanging on to the hope that this new chemo will work.

Diane

Friday, April 2, 2004 7:13 PM CST

We are home!

We got home Wednesday night at about 7:30 p.m. Josh still has a drain in. We will return next week to have this removed. Wednesday night was pretty rough. Josh did not sleep well at all. He was having a lot of pain. Thursday I called the surgeon and we got a stronger pain medicine. Thursday night he felt a little better and actually got some sleep. We have an appointment with the oncologist on Tuesday. We should find out his radiation and chemo schedule. We will probably start radiation next week sometime. Today we tried to go out for a walk a couple times. I think Josh just needs to get out a little. I know I do. We have been inside way too long.

Thanks to everyone for the wonderful cards, calls, and the entries in the guestbook. Also thanks so much to Helen for making the wonderful banner on Josh's page.

Diane

1 Corinthians 10:13

No testing has overtaken you that is not common to everyone. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tested beyond your strengths, but with the testing he will also provide the way out so that you may be able to endure it.

Friday, March 26, 2004 9:57 AM CST

Sorry for the delay in updating. Josh had his surgery on Tuesday. The surgery didn't go as well has we would like. They found alot more tumors than they expected. Besides the tumor on the kidney they found some on the bladder, spleen, blood vessels, bowel, and the bed where the left half of the kidney was. They removed all they could see and feel. The good news was they were able to save the kidney. He will have alot more radiation treatments this time around. We still do not have any reports back from pathology. So we do not have a new chemo schedule yet. Josh is doing good. He still has a bad cough and that is causing him some pain. He had to have a blood transfusion today. This is not uncommon after surgery. His kidney is functioning well.

Thanks you to everyone for the wonderful cards, gifts, and messages in the guestbook.

Diane

1 Corinthians 10:13
No testing has overtaken you that is not common to everyone. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tested beyond your strengths, but with the testing he will also provide the way out so that you may be able to endure it.

Friday, March 19, 2004 5:34 PM CST

We finally saw the surgeon and yesterday a biopsy was performed on the mass. Later in the day we got the results. They found more cancer. So the next step is to remove the tumor. They will do surgery on Tuesday at 11:30. We are home now. We will check in Tuesday morning. He is still running a fever. The oncologist called today and the cultures they took from his port are growing. This means he has an infection most likely in his port. We ran to the hospital here in Lincoln today so they could take more blood and run another test. Hopefully this will not delay the surgery. We will know more tomorrow. Thanks to everyone for the calls and guestbook entries.

Diane

1 Corinthians 10:13
No testing has overtaken you that is not common to everyone. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tested beyond your strengths, but with the testing he will also provide the way out so that you may be able to endure it.

Wednesday, March 17, 2004 11:27 AM CST

I still don't have much to report. We have been here since Friday, and we still have not seen a surgeon. Josh is doing good. His kidney is back to functioning they way it should. His white blood cell count is back up. Last night he started to run a fever of about 101. So this morning they took blood and are going to run some cultures. I did talk to his oncologist today. The surgeon has looked at the scans. He thinks it might be something related to the surgery in January but not sure. We still have not talked to him directly to see what his thoughts are on what will be done. We are getting very frustrated. This morning our nurse has made it her mission to get the surgeon up to see us. When we know more, I will update again. Thanks to everyone for checking up on Josh and signing his guestbook.

Diane

Saturday, March 13, 2004 12:51 AM CST

I usually start these entries the same way "Josh is doing great". I wish I could start this one the same. Josh has had a set back. Thursday evening he starting complaining about is side hurting. I hurt on and off and finally about 3:00 am we took him to the emergency room in Lincoln. At first they wanted to check his lungs because he has had a cough for a few weeks. His chest xray was fine, but the blood work was not. Some of his counts which determine kidney function were high. So we were off to Omaha to Children's Hospital. We were admitted right away and more tests were done. Another chest xray,ultrasound, and more blood work. With the ultrasound they found another mass by his kidney. The blood counts were higher than in Lincoln. The mass was blocking the ureter(sp??)and his kidney was not draining properly. So he was taken to surgery and a stent was put in through the bladder up to the kidney to keep the blockage open. An MRI was also done while he was asleep. The radiologist who read the MRI thought the mass was another Wilm's tumor. Josh's oncologist doesn't think it is. He says the kidney looks very healthy. So we are now waiting on the surgeon to look over the MRI and decide what needs to be done. The will have to either do a needle biopsy or surgery to remove the mass. So right now we are playing the waiting game. His kidney function has improved alot since they put in the stent. Hopefully by Monday we will know a little more.

Diane

Monday, March 8, 2004 10:52 AM CST

Sorry for the delay in updating. Not much is happening. Josh had chemo on February 27. Everything went great. His counts were good. He has been feeling okay but still is hanging onto his cough. His last chemo treatment is set for March 19. YEAH!!! What a big step this will be. He will still have checkups at least monthly and CT scans probably every 3 month for several years. Due to the nephrogenic rests they found in his kidney, they will have to watch him a little closer then normal.

He is still looking forward to Disney. We leave in 13 days. Make a Wish is having a send off party for him on March 15 and this is when we will find out all the details of our trip.

I hope this update finds everyone well. I continue to pray for the other children fighting this same disease. Haley, who will have surgery on the 12th, and Brooke, who just got out of the hospital after her last round of chemo. Both these girls go to the same doctor as Josh. Also Savannah who is fighting a relapse of Wilms's, Shiri who is starting a new protocal of chemo, and Autumn who recently had surgery and is home recovering. There are so many others we also pray for and think of daily.

Thank you to everyone who has signed Josh's guestbook. Especially his big brother who wrote some very wonderful words of encouragement to his little brother. I love you Tyler.

I will try to update after his last chemo and before we leave for Florida.

Diane

Tuesday, February 24, 2004 9:12 AM CST

Hi Everyone,

Josh is doing great. He is all over his cold and cough. We go for chemo this Friday. His last chemo will be March 19. Last week we went to St E's for an echo on his heart. They watch this close because one of the chemo drugs side effects is heart damage. We should find out the results on Friday. The doctors say his dose is small enough they do not expect any problems.

Josh is getting very excited about his trip to Disney World. So are Mom, Dad, and Jessica. It will be a great way to celebrate the end of chemo treatments. We leave in 26 days.

I want to send my prayers out to all the other families fighting Wilm's. Especially Haley. She also goes to Children's in Omaha and sees the same doctor as Josh. Haley is waiting to hear when see will have surgery.

I will update again after Friday. Thanks to everyone who visits Josh's web page and signs his guestbook.

Diane

Thursday, February 12, 2004 4:21 PM CST

Hello Everyone,

Sorry for the delay in updating. Joshua is doing great. He had chemo on Friday the 6th. His counts were all up and doing good. He has two more treatments. On Sunday he started coughing and ran a fever. He has done so well. This is his first cold since starting treatment. We finally went to the doctor on Tuesday. His counts were up even higher. He just has the virus that everyone else seems to be getting. Today he went back to daycare. There is just one other kid beside him there today. One has RSV, 2 have strep, and 2 other are running fevers. Good thing he was gone most of the week.

Thanks to everyone who checks up on Josh and signs the guestbook. It is so great to hear from everyone. Also thanks for all the prayers. They have worked wonders for Josh.

I have updated the photos.

Diane

Friday, January 30, 2004 4:25 PM CST

Hi,

Well Josh finished radiation yesterday. He did great through the radiation. They had to put him to sleep each time. He was never sick and ate like a horse. We also had a follow up with the surgeon yesterday. He says Josh is doing great.

Now we have just 3 more chemo treatments left. His next treatment will be February 6 and his last will be March 19.

We heard from Make a Wish again. We leave early the morning of March 21 for Florida and will return March 27. Josh is very excited to see all the animals. It will be a great way to relax after his last treatment.

I am not exactly sure what will follow after his last chemo treatment. He will have to go in for scans every 3 months for awhile.

Diane

Tuesday, January 20, 2004 8:29 PM CST

Hello Everyone,

Josh is doing great. He is all recovered from surgery. Yesterday he started chemo again. He also had an appointment with the doctor who will do the radiation. He will need 6 treatments to a small area of the abdomen. He will have to be asleep for these. Today we were back at Children's to have his radiation simulation. This is where they "map" him. This decides exactly where the treatment will be directed. Tomorrow he will have his first treatment of radiation and finish next Wednesday. Then all he has left is 3 rounds of chemo. If all goes well, he will have his last treatment on March 19. PARTY!!!

The people from Make a Wish called today to check up with us. They are going to start planning his trip. We are still planning on going the week of March 21 (if available). If he finishes on the 19th, this will be a great way to celebrate.

Thank you to everyone who made these past few weeks a little easier.

You can also check out a new web site I found. This site makes smile quilts for sick children. I signed up Josh and he now has his own smilequilt. People can even add to the quilt. http://smilequilts.com/joshuab.html

Diane

Monday, January 12, 2004 11:11 PM CST

WE ARE HOME!!

It is so great to be home. We got home about 7:30 this evening. Josh is doing great. We will go back to Omaha next Monday to start up chemo again. We also have our first appointment regarding his radiation. He should have about 6 days of it. If all goes well his last chemo treatment will be March 19. It is so great to have surgery behind us and we can look ahead to the end of chemo.

Thank you to everybody who made the stay at the hospital tolerable. Thanks for the visits, the well wishes, the gifts for Josh, and the thoughts and prayers.

You can also check out a new web site I found. This site make smile quilts for sick children. I signed up Josh and he now has his own smilequilt. People can even add to the quilt. http://smilequilts.com/joshuab.html

Diane

Monday, January 12, 2004 11:11 PM CST

WE ARE HOME!

It is so great to be home. We got home about 7:30 this evening. Josh is doing great. We will go back to Omaha next Monday to start up chemo again. We also have our first appointment regarding his radiation. He should have about 6 days of it. If all goes well his last chemo treatment will be March 19. It is so great to have surgery behind us and we can look ahead to the end of chemo.

Thank you to everybody who made the stay at the hospital tolerable. Thanks for the visits, the well wishes, the gifts for Josh, and the thoughts and prayers.

You can also check out a new web site I found. This site make smile quilts for sick children. I signed up Josh and he now has his own smilequilt. People can even add to the quilt. http://smilequilts.com/joshuab.html

Diane

Sunday, January 11, 2004 2:46 PM CST

Hi Everyone,

Sorry it has been a few days since I have updated. I have had a hard time getting over to the computer lab. Josh is doing good. His NG tube and drainage tube are both out. He is eating real food for the first time in awhile and loving it. They took his foley out on Wednesday but he could not go to the bathroom on his own. So they had to finally put it back in last night. They are going to try it again tomorrow. Hopefully all the different medications will be out of his system and he will have an easier time. That is the only thing that is keeping us here. He gets up and walks a few times a day. We have watched every cartoon that is on TV at least twice. We have had so many great visitors. The pathology report came back good and bad. The tumor was favorable histology, but they did find some nephrogenic rests. This will make the chance of Wilm's occurring in the other kidney a little greater (about 10 So they will just have to watch him closer. We will continue to hope and pray his right kidney continues to function great and stays free of Wilm's. They will start his chemo again about a week after he gets out of the hospital. We did find out that he will have radiation after all. That will be in the near future.

Thank you to everyone who has written, called, and visited. We could not get through this without all of our great family and friends.

Thanks.

Diane

Wednesday, January 7, 2004 6:07 PM CST

Hi Everyone,

This will be a quick update. I ran up to the computer room while we are waiting for the surgeon to come visit Josh. He is doing good today. He has to get up and walk. He doesn't really like it. He is still in a lot of pain. We try to do the walks after he has pain med. We still have no results from pathology on the tumor. Hopefully tomorrow.

Thanks to everyone for their calls, visits, emails, and visits to the web page. I will continue to update it. Thanks again.

Diane

Tuesday, January 6, 2004 4:23 PM CST

Hello Everyone,

Josh came through surgery yesterday just great. As you know Josh has a horseshoe kidney (fused at the bottom forming one kidney). This made the surgery a little more difficult. The surgeons found more tumor than they expected. Most of the left side of the kidney was tumors. So they had to do some reconstruction and seperate the kidneys where they were fused and remove the left kidney. The surgeon was very pleased with the way the surgery went. The remaining kidney is very healthy. Last night he spent in PICU and today he was moved to a regular room. He has not be awake much. Tommorrow we should hear back from pathology regarding the tumor. They are checking to make sure it is favorable. Most Wilm's tumors are. They are also checking for the presence of certain cells which would make his chance of tumors showing up in the right kidney greater (10 We will continue to pray that all test come back okay. Josh will not have to have radiation. YEAH!. He will continue his chemo until March.

Thanks to everyone for their thoughts and prayers. We could never make it through this without our wonderful family and friends.

Josh should be in Children's most of the week. He is in room 505. Feel free to stop by if you are in town.

I will try to keep the web page updated as much as I can.

Thanks again to everyone.

Diane

Friday, January 2, 2004 11:41 AM CST

Hello Everyone,

I am sorry it has been a while since I have updated. Not much has happened. We are just waiting for the surgery date. I did finally talk to the surgeon. Josh should be in the hospital anywhere from 4 to 10 days. It depends on how easily the tumor is removed. They may have to do some reconstruction on the kidney which would require a longer stay. The surgeon did say Josh may not have to have radiation after all. If they are able to remove the whole tumor, which he expects, he will not have it. I will try to update this page after the surgery. They have a computer at the hospital we can use.

Josh had a great Christmas. Santa brought him the guitar he wanted. I hope everyone had a great Holiday Season.

Diane

Friday, December 19, 2003 10:15 AM CST

Hello,

FINALLY. I have a date for surgery. January 5 at 1:00 pm at Children's Hospital. I don't have a lot of details yet. I haven't talked to the surgeon. Josh's oncologist is going to get after the surgeon to give us a call. I have so many questions.

Now we can have a good Christmas without wondering when everything is going to happen.

I want to wish everybody a very Merry Christmas and a happy New Year. We will be thinking of all the other families fighting cancer this Christmas. Our prayers go out to them.

Diane

Tuesday, December 16, 2003 4:11 PM CST

Hi,

This is going to be a very quick update. I know everyone is wondering when surgery is going to happen. So am I. I talked to Josh's oncologist today. He had a meeting with the surgeon yesterday and they decided Josh is ready for surgery. (We already knew that.) Anyway the surgeon is going to call me as soon as they get it scheduled. If I don't hear by Friday, I will call and bug the doctors again.

Josh is doing great. He had a wonderful birthday on Saturday.

I will let everyone know when I hear anything.

Diane

Tuesday, December 9, 2003 10:46 AM CST

Hello everyone,

This will be another quick update. Josh had chemo on Friday. His counts are back up to 2600. We still have not heard from the surgeons. His oncologist thought surgery would probably be in 2-3 weeks. As soon as we know anything, we will let everyone know what is up.

I want to thank everyone who has signed Josh's guestbook. He loves to have Mom read them to him. Also we continue to pray for all the families who have signed Josh's guestbook who are also battling cancer.

Have a very Merry Christmas!

Diane

Thursday, December 4, 2003 7:07 PM CST

Hello Everyone,

This will be a quick update. Yesterday I talked to Josh's doctor. They have not heard from the surgeon yet. No big surprise. They seem to have their own schedule. He did say the tumor has stopped shrinking. So it is time to remove it. He said this was to be expected. The chemo will only shrink it so far. We will go ahead and do chemo tomorrow and wait to hear when the surgeon schedules surgery.

I will keep you all updated.

Diane

Tuesday, December 2, 2003 10:34 AM CST

Hello Everyone,

I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving! I am sorry for the delay between updates. Josh went in for blood work on Tuesday the 25th. His counts were way down to 410. So we need to be very careful. He stayed home from daycare on Tuesday and Wednesday. Wednesday night we went to my parent's for Thanksgiving. No one was sick back home so we thought we would be safe. Everyone had a great time. Mom and I even got a little shopping in. On Saturday we went to Steve's sisters for Thanksgiving.

Yesterday Josh went in for his CT Scan and MRI. He did great. They were going to sedate him for his MRI but decided to try it without sedation. Josh did great. He was still the whole time. The surgeons will look at the tests and then let us know what they decide regarding sugery. We should know later this week. I will keep everyone updated.

They also did more blood work yesterday. His count is 500. This is up but still low. So Josh and I are home for most of this week. I talked to his sitter yesterday. She said all the kids were gone yesterday with the flu. So we need to keep Josh away for awhile.

Thank you to everyone who has signed his guestbook. It is so wonderful to hear from other families who are going through what we are. My prayers go out to all families fighting cancer.

Diane

Friday, November 21, 2003 8:14 AM CST

Hi,

Josh went to the clinic yesterday for blood work. Good news! His count is up to 4500. This is the highest since he left the hospital. We just hope it stays up for Thanksgiving. He will have his counts checked again on Tuesday. His doctor did say that if the surgeons decide to do surgery they would probably schedule it 10-14 days after the scans.

He also had some more good news this week. The Make a Wish people came by on Tuesday. Josh's wish was to go on a safari. They will be sending him to Disney World. We are planning on going in March when Jessica has a week off from school. Josh is very excited to go to Animal Kingdom to see all the animals. They also have a safari he can go on.

I will update again after his counts on Tuesday. Everyone have a Happy Thanksgiving.

Diane

Monday, November 17, 2003 9:02 AM CST

Hi everyone,

Josh is doing great. He had chemo in Omaha on Friday. His counts were up to 2700. He had the chemo that takes his counts down. He does chemo every three weeks, but they will still be checking his counts every week.

His MRI and CT scan are scheduled for December 1. They will do them both the same day. He will be under sedation for the tests. After the tests are done, the surgeons will look them over and let us know about surgery (if and when).

Thanks to everyone who has signed Josh's guestbook.

Diane

Friday, November 7, 2003 8:17 AM CST

Hello Everyone,

This will be a quick update. Josh is doing great. We have been so blessed. Yesterday he had his last chemo treatment in Lincoln. The rest of the treatments will be done in Omaha. Next Friday we will go to Omaha for chemo. After that we will go every three weeks. Still no word on surgery. We will found out after the CT scan and MRI the first part of December. Josh's count is up again this week. It is 2112.

Thank you to everyone for your thoughts and prayers If you have time, drop Josh a note in his guestbook.

Diane

Friday, October 31, 2003 11:27 AM CST

Hi Everyone,

Josh is doing great. He had chemo yesterday. His ANC count is up again. It is 1927. Yea!! The surgeon looked at the CT scan from last week. They would like to see the tumor a little smaller. I asked the doctor how far are we. Half way. Less than half way or more than half. He said we are more than half way. We are planning to do another CT scan December 1 or 2. Josh is scheduled for chemo on December 5. They need the scan read before than in case they want to schedule surgery. If they schedule surgery than they would not give him his chemo on the 5th. The surgeon would also like to have an MRI done. We are not sure when they will schedule it. It should be around the same time as the CT scan. They just cannot do them the same day. So we just need to do some more waiting.

Jessica went with us to chemo this week. She wanted to see what her brother went through. After being at the clinic for four hours, she had enough. She decided she didn't want to do that again. Too much waiting around. She is great with her little brother. She is always looking out for him. She is a great big sister.

Thank you to everyone who signed the guest book. We love to hear from you.

Diane

Saturday, October 25, 2003 10:37 AM CDT

Hello,

Josh is doing great. This last week was uneventfull. Since Josh's counts were down, we stayed at home.

Yesterday we went to Omaha. He had a CT scan. We heard from the nurse last night that the tumor is still decreasing in size. Great news! The surgeons will look at the scan and we should hear by Wednesday what they think.

He was also scheduled for chemo. This week is ANC count is back up. It was over 1500. This means Josh can get out of the house and around people again. He is very excited. He gets to go see Grandma and Grandpa this weekend.

Thanks to everyone who has visited the web site and checked on Josh. I will update everyone when we hear from the surgeons. Wish us luck.

Diane

Friday, October 17, 2003 8:15 AM CDT

Hi Everyone,

Josh has been doing great all week. We have been so blessed so far. Thanks to everyone who has visited the web page. Please sign the guestbook or send an email if you like. Josh and I check it together. He loves to hear from people.

Yesterday, he had another round of chemo at St. Elizabeth. He did great. He still cries when he realizes where we are going. The doctor was real pleased with how well he is doing. However, his blood counts are down more this week. His ANC is 179, which is down from 1134 last week. The ANC is what they use to determine how well he can fight an infection. Above 1000 is near normal. 500-1000 you need to be careful. Anything below 500, he should be home or in a home environment. No crowds or public places. He did go to daycare today. He just loves it. I hate to see him having to stay home all the time. The doctor said as long as the other kids are not showing signs of being ill it would be okay for him to go. He goes to a small in-home daycare. There is only 5 other kids. He was so sweet this morning when I dropped him off. He is a very loving little boy. He loves to give all the other kids hugs and kisses. This morning, I told him he could not hug or kiss the other kids. He said but Mom kissing is a nice thing. Since he has been doing so good, he doesn't realize that he is sick. We will have to see how next weeks goes and if he can go to daycare.

Next Friday, we have our appointment in Omaha. He will have another round of chemo. We will also have a CT scan. Then they will decide if the tumor is small enough to be removed. Wish us luck.

Diane

Friday, October 10, 2003 9:15 AM CDT

Hello to everyone.

Thanks to everyone who has checked out the web site and left messages. It is so great to hear from everyone. So please visit the guest book.

Josh went to St E's yesterday for his chemo treatment. He is feeling great. He wasn't real happy, because he had to get his flu shot. That hurt more than the chemo. His blood counts are the lowest they have been. This is to be expected. If they get much lower, we will have to start being a little more careful where he goes. For now, he is doing okay.

I thought I should give a little background information for some of the people I haven't had a chance to talk to personally. On the morning of Wednesday, September 3, 2003, Josh was complaining that his stomach hurt. I didn't think much of it, but we stayed home for the day just in case. He was having pain in the side. This went away after a couple of hours. The rest of the day he was fine. About 8:00 that evening, we noticed blood in his urine. I called the nurse and went over everything with her. She suggested we take him to the emergency room. We went to St E's about 8:00 pm. They did blood and urine tests and an x-ray. They did not find blood in his urine but he had protein. The x-ray was fine. They wanted us to follow up with his doctor. The next day we went to his regular doctor. She checked him over but did not do more tests. She wanted to see him in a couple of weeks for another urine test to be sure the protein was gone. If not, we would follow up with a kidney specialist. Josh was born with a horseshoe kidney. His kidneys are fused at the bottom forming one kidney. Other than a fever on Thursday, Josh felt fine the rest of the week. Saturday evening he went to bed fine but woke up crying with pains again. He had these for about 1 1/2 hours. Sunday morning his urine was blood red. Steve and I decided to wait to see if it would clear up, and we would take him to see his doctor on Monday. It did not clear up. So about 1:00 p.m. I took Josh to the emergency room at St. E's again. Steve took Jessica and Tyler to Jessica's soccer game. This time they did a CT scan. After a couple of hours in the emergency room, the doctor came in to tell me Josh had a tumor on his left kidney. They also thought Josh did have two separate kidney's. They would have to remove the kidney and tumor. They sent us to Children's Hospital in Omaha. I called Steve immediately and he and the kids met me at the hospital. It was such a shock for all of us. We arrived at Children's later that evening. They did a few tests that evening and some more the next day. Monday afternoon they told us they were pretty sure Josh had a Wilm's tumor. It is cancer. They would be 100ure after a biopsy. They also said yes he does have a horseshoe kidney. Since he has just one kidney, they want to shrink the tumor with chemo so it is small enough that they do not take too much of the kidney. Surgery was scheduled for Wednesday. They inserted a port on his right side just under the skin. The port has a tube that runs to a major vein in his neck. Through the port they can draw blood and administer his chemo. This way they do not have to do an IV every week. It had been great. They also did a biopsy of the tumor. They confirmed it is a Wilms tumor. He will have 24 weeks of chemo and also do some radiation. Somewhere between weeks 3 to 6 they hope the tumor will be some enough to remove. We will than do radiation and continue the chemo. We are now just waiting for week 6 when they do another CT scan and pray the tumor will be small enough to remove. It would be so great to get the surgery behind us and concentrate on the chemo and radiation.

Thanks again to everyone for all you have done. Sorry I was so windy today. I will keep you updated.

Diane

Monday, October 6, 2003 3:02 PM CDT

Hi Everyone. We found this great way to keep everyone updated on how Josh is doing. We will continue to update his progress and will be adding some pictures soon.

We went to Omaha on Friday. He had chemo and an ultrasound. The ultrasound showed that the tumor has shrunk to about half the size. We will go back to Omaha in three weeks. They will do a CT scan and check again. Hopefully then they will decide when to do surgery to remove the tumor.

During his treatment, he will have three different chemo drugs. One he will have every visit. The other two he will alternate every three weeks. On Thursday he had the one drug he has not had yet. He did wonderful. He is feeling just great.

Each time we go to the hospital, he gets less afraid. He still cries when we pull up to the hospital, but everyone is great with kids. They have toys everywhere. He told Steve and I as we were leaving on Thursday "That's not so bad after all."

I want to thank everyone for everything they have done and for the great cards and gifts. We could never get through this without great family and friends.

Monday, October 6, 2003 2:44 PM CDT

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