History

Wednesday, April 10, 2013 3:01 PM CDT

Wow 20 years ago this beautiful young lady was born. Happy birthday Haley Lynette, I hope they had a huge Celebration for you today!

Not a day goes by that we don't still feel the emptiness and hurt. We cry because we miss you, we smile for what you gave and continue to give. Can't wait for the day that we see one another again!

Forever and for always our baby you will be
Hugs and kisses birthday girl

Sunday, August 19, 2012 10:20 PM CDT

This day can't go by without the feeling of emptiness, sadness, guilt, anger, hurt-the list could go on and on. We miss Haley so much, her smile brings so much to you and makes you miss that smile, laughter-little precious caring young lady!!!! Thanks to all who were there for us then and are still within our lives today........

Haley "forever and for always sweetie", you are thought of, talked about and missed everyday, can't wait to see you again!

Hanna you are an inspiration, continue to carry the torch-you are an amazing young lady!

Thursday, June 21, 2012 12:47 AM CDT

Here it is.......Haley's Angel Day. As a Mother you look forward to all the holidays and your kids birthdays!!!! This Angel Day stuff is just not right at all.

As this day approaches I feel my mood change, anxiety building up etc, why.....oh why does it have to be like this?! I myself will never feel fully complete, I will always be missing something, no one can ever fill that void. Haleygirl, your spirit lives on strong-i miss that smile, laugh, touch, crazy/funny,but yet serious attitude. I miss you calling out to your sister "Hanni(Hanna eye), this is when she would annoy you....oh how I used to laugh & smile, cuz I knew what was coming next!!!

Thru all of the heartache, there is a feeling of happiness-you made me laugh, cry, laugh, smile and feel complete. Babygirl we miss you so very much. Hanna continues to watch Disney movies(always), she will never let them babies go, that is a connection to you, that know one will ever understand. She misses you something terrible and still searches to understand what all happened and why did this happen to us? Continue to watch over her and let her know that you are always with her.

Thanks to all who continue to think of Haley not only today but thru out the year. I pray that she made a difference in your life that you just can't get away from......she had a way/like most kids who fight thru cancer do....they are very special.

Thanking each of you for your continued support
Angel Haley's family forever

Thursday, February 23, 2012 12:54 AM CST

I haven’t typed anything out here for a while and I feel the need to type an update. The days come and the days go, the past is the past and the future is the future, but one thing that never changes is the loss of missing Haley Lynette. Who would she be today, where would she be, what would she look like, how would she act…..those questions will never leave or never be answered. I miss her smile, laughter, touch, softness, kind word, heck I miss everything about her. Who couldn’t-if you knew her, you would feel the same way, maybe not to the same degree but I know you would miss her too!!

Where are we, what are we doing you ask?! In the middle of trying to move forward, but being stuck in the past if that makes sense a little. I was blessed to stay working for the same company after 15 years, but had to relocate my office to keep a job. Things will smooth out in the future I know, but for now they are still kinda confusing not being in one location is hard.

Something very exciting, after almost 10 years of not knowing where or how to get ahold of my nephew Anthony-we did and we will be seeing him very soon. My Oldest sister Tammy passed away in May 10 years ago, now Anthony will be coming to see us. The feeling that is there is so very overwhelming-I’m so happy that he is just as excited to visit with us and counting the days down to get to see everyone in person. We have skyped with him a couple times and oh my goodness, he is a grown man…he is not 13 years old no more.

I am on the fence as to what to do for Easter Basket’s this year. The girls were Seniors last year and it really felt like it was probably the last year of doing it, but deep down inside I feel that Hanna & I need to do something. It may be small, but something to make those children smile and to honor our sweet girl!!! If anyone out there still stops by, let me know your thoughts.

Thanks for stopping by, may this year be filled with only good things for each of you, please take time to remember those who fought their battle and earned their wings….they will not be forgotten & will forever live on looking over us!!!

Angel Haley’s family forever

Tuesday, June 21, 2011 10:48 AM CDT

6 years ago today our lives changed forever!!!! Our Lord & Savior took Haley's hand and walked her home. Wow, I was reading through some of my entries from back then-no one can say she/we didn't try. We looked at every option possible in keeping our sweet girl here with us. Such a beautiful/thoughtful/caring/strong/big hearted young lady.

Every day we miss her even more-the emptiness is still there, not hearing her voice/laughter etc those are the small things. To think of “who you’d be today” is an understatement. Who would Haley Lynette be today-Big smile, sun tan, soft ball playing, swimming/active/enjoying her last big summer before college. Hanging with her sister/friends and making those memories. Yep, those are things that eat at you every day, knowing that is how it should be. On the other hand, Haley is up there helping so many others and learning so darn much, we are down here still searching………trying to make a difference in this world. Hard shoes to follow when someone like her-sets the path.

Each day we search to find the inner self, utilize the talents that we have, share with others our love for life & actual enjoy the journey as we go. Some days are harder than others of course, they bring bad/tough memories and good memories. They make you smile/they make you cry. With each of those emotions, they make you realize you are still here & can make a difference. If you don’t feel the need to do it for yourself, do it for someone else. Pray for those sick children and their families who are battling the battle, those families who are dealing with the loss and for those families that are able to Celebrate and travel the Survivor road!

As this summer will get busy and you will all have lots of different things to do, travel safely, stay connected, be in charge and reach out to those in need. Make those memories count.

Thanks for continuing to check in on us-Thanks for being a “Haley Mathis Follower”, she loves each of you and continues to watch over from above in all that you do.

Angel Haley’s family forever

Monday, April 25, 2011 1:03 PM CDT

It is that time of the year again-Happy 18th birthday sweet girl!!! Each year we purchase gifts to make Easter Baskets in honor of our sweet Angel Haley. Once again this year, we got together with a group of Haley’s friends and made baskets, then delivered them to Children’s Hospital in Omaha.

This year was a little different for many reasons, but a couple big ones: the girls are Seniors(wow), busy schedules-but they made time for this event like they do every year, 2ndly Children’s Hospital is different-they have completely moved to a new area-same Great people, just a new house! It looked so different(kinda a weird feeling knowing Haley hadn’t been a part of the new facility), but guess what she is now a part-she donated baskets to those children to put smiles on their faces.

Thanks to those who contributed this year and to each of you girls and your parents for helping put them together & deliver.

Next on the agenda is the BIG graduation-not sure I’m prepared for this event, but I guess I don’t have a choice huh. I’m proud of each one of these kids-they are getting ready to move on to their Future and make a difference!!!

Angel Haley's family forever

Friday, January 28, 2011 8:53 AM CST

Wow, where does time go?? 2011 is here & what a year it will be……Life is so interesting, people come and people go, friendships form and friendships end, families join, babies are born, children/people die, families separate and we have no control over most of these things. They make us who we are, there is a reason, there is a plan, but one must learn to be patient, learn from your experiences, learn something new every day, continue to grow & be an individual. Make the most of what you have-use what your were given & share!!!

As for us, where are we/what are we doing. Well we are starting a new year/new obstacles/new challenges, but feeling the freedom and taking it in.

This year will come with many emotions, new things, new places, new people and events that we have anticipated with excitement and sadness. That of course will be the graduation of some VERY special people……the Norris class of 2011-wow I said it. Haley’s class with be Celebrating a huge success in their lives, looking back on the memories of K-12, growing up together, sharing moments that no one can take away from them. These kids all hold a very special place in my heart as most of them were there on that 1st day of Kindergarten-not knowing just what they were about to explore together. For us, there were special friendships that formed along the way with sports and activities that are still there today. Summer of 2003 changed so much for not only our family, but for many-as we started the 5th grade year, with the diagnosis of Haley’s cancer. I miss my girl something terrible and no one can change that nor should they try, but I realize that we were not in control and in charge of what was to happen. I watched so many pull together to help support Haley and our family through her treatment and following her becoming an Angel. What a support group that was, no one will ever understand the feeling of knowing so many were there to help and cheer/fight for and with Haley. The outcome is not what any of us wanted, but we have dealt with it the best way we know how. Here we are almost 6 years later and what a rush of emotions. Her girlfriends getting ready to graduate, move on to college etc. I’m so excited for each of them and so curious to watch them continue to move forward with their positive attitudes and make a difference in this world. They ALL hold a very special part of my heart, as they were the ones to share secrets with Haley, Celebrate birthdays along the way, sports, classes, activities, you name it they were there-before and after diagnosis. That’s what makes them so special before & after, they didn’t just become her friend because she became sick and they wanted to be in the spot light, because that is something Haley didn’t want is the spotlight. They thought of her when they were Celebrating their own successes and victories at a sporting event that she couldn’t be at-they are along with my 2 daughters, my everyday HERO’S and probably don’t even realize it. They were there for her when I couldn’t be, they made her smile when she needed it most or a shoulder to lean on. Thank you girls-Thank you parents, for allowing my daughter to be a part of your child’s life and allowing your daughters to change my life and continue to help me focus. Hanna and I need you to continue to keep us involved as it does help us both.

Now that I have went on and on, I will add in that we will need your help this year with baskets. This may be the last year, as I need to see what becomes of Haley’s Helping Hands. Who knows it may grow and become more, I really don’t know-I just know that it may become more difficult with the girls moving on & getting so much more busier. But it may be something that we feel we need to do, to flip back in time for even just this one event each year share and make memories and Celebrate the life a this very special brave little girl named Haley. Thank you in advance, please call me if you have any questions 402-419-4558.

Thanks so much all the support
With love always
Angel Haley’s family

Wednesday, August 18, 2010 4:19 PM CDT

I have been trying to type out her for some time now and just haven’t been able to for several reasons. At points, updating seems like it’s not right, but you know what I will probably always type something-just not very often. So to those of you who have come by and there has been nothing new typed “I’m sorry”, thanks for coming back.

I can say a lot of things have changed since my last update at the beginning of the year and I won’t go into a lot of detail about all of those things. Hanna started her online classes through the University of Nebraska. Haley Celebrated her 17th birthday in Heaven with all her friends & family. We delivered yet another round of Easter Baskets to Children’s hospital in Omaha-got to visit with some of the Best medical friends/family that we were so blessed with. Shortly after the delivery of those baskets, we had a change in our home status and family situation(that is all I will say in regards to that), those of you who need to know can call me at 402-419-4558, as I no longer have the home phone or use the mailing address in Panama. We tackled that 5 year mark of Haley earning her wings-very difficult to deal with and still to this date understand "why".

We now approach that time of year of the diagnosis of childhood cancer……………who would have thought that 7 years ago, everything would change and never be the same. Haley’s classmates are entering 12th grade-oh my stars, that is so hard for me to grasp-they have all grown so much & are making huge decisions with what they will do in the future(colleges, jobs, moving etc). I pray that each of them have a safe year, keep focused, but yet have the time of their lives-as they all deserve the very best. I haven’t been very good about staying in touch with them and miss seeing their pretty little faces, I hope that I am able to stay in touch throughout this next year with them & that I get updates every now and again from them(you girls can text me whenever-hint, hint). I know that each of them in this Senior class at Norris will have a special someone looking over them this year-I know that Haley is very excited for them as they prepare for their Big year and their futures-make good smart decisions.

Hanna had another round of tough luck with her motocross and with our change in family status has been overwhelmed with what it is that she exactly wants to do in the upcoming year etc. She was hurt twice, back to back and hasn’t been able to ride or race-so she is just enjoying the down time and exploring other options. She truly inspires me to focus on the future & all that it holds for each of us-we will NEVER forget our past, as that is something that makes us who we are today & just knowing that the future in the end result will bring us all together!!

May each of you find happiness in each day that you are given, enjoy those small moments that we call memories-thanks for always being a part of “Haley Mathis journey”, I pray that she will never be forgotten by you or others who were blessed by knowing of her courage & strength(she is amazing), we miss you sweet girl, thank you for encouraging us to face each day with the “I can attitude”.

Angel Haley’s family forever

Wednesday, August 18, 2010 4:19 PM CDT

Friday, February 12, 2010 3:30 PM CST

Hello everyone, I am really bad about updating anymore. Just seems right to put something out here with Valentine’s Day this weekend. One of the girls favorite holidays & the memories flow back like crazy. Not only the last one that we spent together at the RMH in Memphis, while receiving treatment at St Jude, but all those fun memories of when the girls were little-dressed in red/white/pink(which Haley & Hanna didn’t wear a lot of pink). Making those Valentine boxes for school and getting all the cards & candy-wow, where did that time go?

As for life now…..2010-here we are, really not knowing what we’re doing or where we are going. Lots of stuff the same, but other things changed up. One of the biggest things is that Hanna no longer attends public school, she has chosen to take on line classes through the University of Nebraska High School program. This program is designed for students who have others things in their life that consume a lot of time and this allows them to be able to juggle both. She is now able to travel outside the state more to compete in her motocross and absolutely loves it. She truly is such a gift herself, she is so inner driven with her spirit, goals, disciplined, strong willed with her thoughts-she truly amazes me! She knows more about what she wants and needs than I do at my age (I’m still confused and don’t know what it is I want to do when I grow up). I believe that she will be very successful not only at this schooling schedule, but with her motocross career and anything else she puts her mind to.

As for everything else, not much happening-I am preparing to collect for Haley’s Helping Hands once again this year in honor of our sweet girl Haley. She will be turning 17 this year, can you believe that……..all her friends are turning that magical age as well and are Juniors in High school. This completely shocks me. Without thinking a lot about it, we will probably try hard to continue the baskets this year & next year 2011, as I know it will get harder & harder with all the girls graduating and moving on. So if you would like to make any kind of contribution we will except, please mail to Hanna’s attention at PO Box 27, Panama NE 68419 or call me at 402-419-4558.

Thanks to each of you for stopping by
Angel Haley’s family forever

Tuesday, December 8, 2009 9:05 AM CST

Ok, it has been a long time since I have updated & felt the need to get something for all of our loyal followers! 5 years ago marks a lot of thoughts/memories/fear/emotions/heartache etc. 5 years ago while we were trying our hardest to figure out the right plan for Haley we were stopped in our tracks by the sadness of loosing of sweet Angel Josh to our Savior. The girls loved this little guy & to share this news with them was very heart wrenching. Our families had become very close thru the treatment and it just sucks to hit road blocks and heartache like this.

We prepared for what would be our “last family Christmas together on Earth” as we will now wait to all be reunited in the Heavens above to Celebrate together one day. Until then the Christmas Holiday has taken a whole different look for me, I’m Thankful for what I have-it is just hard to Celebrate & treat it like I used to. I know that there will be a point, where this will get easier, but I truly don’t see that being anytime soon.

Hanna is still keeping busy with her motocross career, attending church when home on the weekends and being “one fun loving/crazy/full of life young 15 year old girl”. Yep, she is now 15 years old-she Celebrated her birthday on Thanksgiving Day this year ”November 26th”. We branched out and did something crazy on her birthday-well maybe not that crazy, but we loaded up & took off to Florida for a Big National motocross race. The weather there wasn’t as pretty/warm as I wanted it, but it was nice to do something different & spend her birthday somewhere different doing what she absolutely loves to do !!! She completed very well at a national level and placed “16 out of 40” women.

The Christmas Holiday this year brings us back to another road trip to Texas like last year, which hopefully will become a new tradition for us. Hanna will go down and attend a 3 day camp, followed by some fun filled racing!!! We’ll get to see some friends we met last year and hopefully see my relatives there.

** None of this is done, without the heartache of Big sister not being here with us. We know that Haley had a huge hand in helping her sister find this path…..something that Hanna has really grasped, loves to do, is very good at it and actually maps out her future with lots of things based on this within it. She is very goal driven and is a very grown up young lady with a terribly bright future in whatever it is she chooses to do!!! We are very proud of her-I’m not sure what we did along the way….but we were blessed with the most AMAZING daughters/girls/friends in the WORLD!!! It is very painful at some points of each day thinking back to the past and looking forward to the future with such a huge void. We must focus that each day is not just another day spent without Haley her with us, as much as it is One day closer to seeing her in Heaven!!!!

Please enjoy this blessed Christmas Holiday with your families here on Earth & bless all those that have moved onto the Heavens above for whatever reason. Say a prayer for those children fighting this time of the year and for their parents and siblings as they face each day covered with that huge dark cloud. The Doctors and Nurses who take care of these children and try to make them smile if even for just a quick moment to get them thru their treatment, finger poke, chemo, surgery etc. Thinking of each of you and the many friends that we have met thru out our ordeal with nasty disease called cancer-we miss some of you that we haven’t visited with forever. Don’t think we have forgotten about you or that you are not in our prayers, hugs to each of YOU!

God Bless~ Merry Christmas to all
Angel Haley’s family forever

Tuesday, October 27, 2009 10:44 AM CDT

My how time just keeps ticking by. I can’t believe that October is coming to an end & that November is right around the corner. This time of year brings back so many memories of the girls- being together/having fun/celebrating, just plain goofy around-carving pumpkins etc. Not that we don’t miss sweet Haleygirl every day, but when the fun times come our way…it’s hard to Celebrate without some sadness. It’s hard to try to make new memories without a part of your family being with us-but we do it because we have to-Hanna’s world can’t stop because of this. We don’t have family discussions about how sad we are and oh feel sorry for us, but sometimes I think we just need a big melt down together(it’s hard sometimes to just crack by yourself-It’s a Mommy thing I guess).

As for what’s new…..well as you guessed it “nothing”. Same ol’ thing, just another day here. Haley is busy I’m sure taking care of so many little ones who have joined her recently and being a big helper to those who have been with her for some time now. I know that she walks with her friends from school (trying to be there if & when they need her), as well as her entire family. Hanna is at an age that she will need to visit with her sister on several things that come her way, I’m sure they have they down time together. Hanna’s keeping busy with school-got a straight 4.0 for the 1st quarter”we are VERY proud of her”, she continues to text like a crazy little girl/counsel friends(a lot of boys) and ride her bike.

She loves the sport of “motocross”, she wouldn’t have it any other way-it has brought her so much joy/connects with so many from everywhere/and the broken bones that do more than break a parents heart…..somehow/someway make this girl more stronger & determined to rehab quickly and get back on that bike racing!!! Our girls are both the strongest people I obviously know, in different ways of course….Haley’s determination & true spirit through her whole life/let alone her battle with cancer (she taught us all SO much & continues to teach) and then Hanna on the other hand was by Haley’s side through everything, she was such a huge encouragement to each of us as well and now her found passion to bring out that daredevil within her, is amazing!!! It’s hard as a parent to know that you don’t measure up to what your children have become.

May the holidays ahead continue to reach out to you & your families. I know that with all the economical situations that are out there, each of us make sacrifices, but please don’t forget the “Power of Prayer”, it is just so easy to do-cost you nothing, helps someone else in need & makes you feel good inside…..take the time!!! Please pray for all those families effected by childhood cancer and please stop by to read on the following journey:The Pablove Foundation, he did dedicate one night to Haley-he currently has her age listed incorrect, but I will send a note for them to correct it, but spread the word!!!!!
Pablove’s journey-he is traveling and making a difference & and making an awareness for our kids!!! http://www.pablove.org

Thanks for stopping by as always

Heavenly Prayers
Angel Haley’s family forever

Tuesday, August 25, 2009 10:42 AM CDT

I know it seems like forever since I have updated and I just felt the need to place something out here. As I always start off, Thanks so much for stopping by. Life seems to be getting busier & busier these days & families are on the run 24/7.

6 years ago marks the diagnosis of Haley’s cancer….6 years ago-wow, she was entering 5th grade, playing softball-on the welcoming committee thru school, gearing up to be with friends tackle another season of what would hope to be a great year for basketball and that all came to a screaming stop !!! Things changed so quickly & now have changed our lives forever. I am thankful for our Heavenly Father, knowing that Haley is with him-does help ease the pain…..but believe me when I say the pain is still there….EVERYDAY……it is there. It is hard to continue on, but you must-we must move on for Hanna, to carry on for Haley(to keep her spirit ALIVE), be here for her friends if they should ever need us, to complete the work that we were put here to complete & look forward to the day that we all reunite in the Heavens ABOVE !!!!

Haley’s class is in 11th grade at Norris this year-that just seems amazing to me, they have all grown so much and are going so many different directions. I don’t see the girls all that often or their parents, but believe me when I do-It lights my heart & reconnects me so much!!

Hanna is healed from that cast and out there riding her butt off on that bike of hers. She loves it so much, enjoys all the friends that she has met from all over. She started in High school this year entering that big 9th grade level. We are so proud of all that she does, she eliminates herself from all the gossip & nastiness that comes with being this age. She supports so many friends(boys & girls) when needed-she sometimes has 7 different conversations going on at one time, trying to help people out!! I know that she had to grow up so fast with everything that she went thru with Haley, but believe me she still has fun & is a kid ! She makes us laugh an awful lot-puts a smile on your face when you most need it.

Prayers to all our caring bridge families, as I know we don’t often to get a chance to visit with you or sign guestbook, we continue to walk with each of you thru your journeys as well. Some families are in the same boat as ours-moving forward without their sweet child, others are making new memories(trying to put the ick behind them), some are still going down the road of treatment and fight & there are others that are just starting this journey. God be with each of you & your families!

Living in the moment~treasuring the past forever & looking forward to the future
Angel Haley’s family

Friday, June 19, 2009 4:24 PM CDT

Hello to anyone & everyone stopping by to visit Miss Haleygirl’s site. Sometimes I really struggle with the fact of updating this site at all, but deep in my heart it somehow keeps me connected to my little girl in some small way!!! With myspace/facebook/twitter etc-I know it is hard to stay connected to so many sites.

We are fastly approaching Haley’s Angel day-this year it happens to fall right on Father’s Day. Looking back 4 years ago, Father’s Day was one that can never be forgotten. Haley’s friends & their parents came over on the Saturday before, as I close my eyes I remember them coming to visit her. She was tired, not feeling well-but was very happy to come have them visit her. Now looking back, I’m sure she knew this was the very last time she would see them & give them hugs and of course if you know Haley, smile that beautiful smile.

As I keep this one a little shorter for now and will update later this weekend-Thank you for visiting. Everything is about the same here-still finding it hard to put on that happy face & move forward. Hanna was taken out in one of her boy races, so she ended up in a cast for the past 2 months(sad face). She is hoping to get the official release on the 29th !!! She can’t wait-she loves riding that bike & meeting all the new friends she has(most of them boys of course). She did very well finishing up that middle school run and is heading into High school this Fall. I will get an updated picture of Hanna out here as she has grown up so much !!!

Heaven
© Annmarie Campbell
A Trip To Heaven

I took a trip to heaven
But only in my mind
I wanted to know what it's like
To leave all you love behind.
So I closed my eyes, and started to see
Just how beautiful heaven can be.

I could see the pearly gates of white
and behind them was the most radiant light.
I saw an angel as she was passing by
so incredibly beautiful that a tear fell from my eye.
Everyone looked perfect and with the angels they did sing
There are no earthly words to describe the beauty of their wings.

As I sat on a bench in the most incredible garden
I asked God for all of my sins to be pardoned
I took one last look at all of the beauty around
And when I opened my eyes, it was peace that I found.
Missing you sweet Haley-Mommy holds you every night and talks to you every day.

Always & Forever you are with each of us !!!

Friday, April 10, 2009 5:39 PM CDT

Looking back on the memory of.....the dance we shared beneath the stars above-for a moment all the world was right...how could I have known that we have to say "good nite"

What a day.....16 years ago I was holding my first born babygirl !!!! God gave me the BEST gift EVER!!! I wouldn't trade any of it-those years have been so amazing-with it's ups & downs. Haley came out with the biggest smile & went to heaven with that same beautiful face!

Happy Birthday sweet girl-Thank you for everything you have done & continue to do. The tears that roll down my cheeks as I type are because I miss you SO much. I celebrate your birthday with so much anxiety today. You brought us the BEST weather ever & all the sun in the world !!

The baskets came together so beautiful, filled with toys, games, and love. We made 93 total....that magical # needed to match the year Haley was born - 1993 - I could not Thank all those who contributed by sending gift cards, money, dropping off items, coming to help prepare and those who made the trip to Omaha. We are blessed with such GREAT friends....To those special people at Children's who make our visit a joy(you know who you are)-we love to see you all and Haley brought us to you for a reason. I know that we need to visit more often, but I tell you what just one day is seriously so overwhelming for me.

To those very special families that receive a basket each year, I so wish we could do so much more. I know how very hard it is to be there watching your sweet child go through this terrible disease. Know that you are surrounding by good people & Haley's Helping Hands are lifting you up in prayer.

May this special "Good Friday"....April 10th, bring you some special sign from our sweet Angel and may you know how much your friendship means to us.

Celebrate this Easter knowing that Our Father gave his only son for us.....I/we like so many sometimes feel that our sweet children have gone before us for a purpose & reason as well.

**Hanna - side note to you. Thanks for being the best sister ever to Haley. She needed you & loved you so much, know that she & her friends walk along side of you whenever you should need them honey. You brought a smile to your sister's heart everyday & continue to make her laugh out loud. Don't change who you are for anyone & continue to focus on what you want to do & how you are going to get there. As our 2nd born, you have given so much to our everyday baby. You will always make us think of the days that H&H were hand & hand. FAF sweet girl !!

Thanking you again for all your
support

Happy 16th birthday Haley Lynette
Love FAF:) We enjoyed your favorite cake tonight-haven't had it since 2005 !!
Mom, Dad, Hanna, Haley's Comet & the rest of the gang baby

Thursday, March 19, 2009 8:20 AM CDT

**** We are fastly approaching Haley's 16th birthday and we need your help......We will be putting together Easter Baskets for children's hospital again-I know that this may not be able to continue on forever, but this year is a milestone & I don't want to let Haley or anyone down. If you are able to make any kind of donation we would be so Thankful-Hanna and I will be going shopping again to buy cart after cart of items to stuff the Baskets. If you can send toys that is fine, if you can donate money or gift cards that is Great as well. You can mail any of the above to Haley's Helping Hands c/o Hanna Mathis PO Box 27, Panama NE 68419-call if you have any question 402-788-2828. ****

Where does time go....it has been a long time since I have updated. Nothing really new, Haley's birthday is approaching so quickly, we will go shopping for some items this weekend-plan to get together and start making the baskets next week and deliver them on Haley's actual birthday Good Friday "April 10th". Hopefully the older girls will have practice right away in the morning, this will allow us to deliver to the hospital-have lunch, do something special while in Omaha to honor Haley and the strong connection that we all still have !!!

Hanna just entered her last quarter of 8th grade-oh my....high school here she comes. She is so ready for the school year to be over, she is ready to ride & race everyday !!! I can't tell you how completly crazy it is to watch you daughter ride a motocross bike & approach the speeds of 70-90 miles an hour:) WOW, she is truly loves the sport & we are SO proud of her!!! I will try to have someone help me, video a little clip and put on this site so you can see what I'm talking about !!!

**Prayers to a local family that just lost their son, brother, uncle, cousin etc, please stop by their site & tell them Haleygirl sent you. ne/ryan.

Thanks for stopping by, please spread the susnshine & love and reach out to those in need

Angel Haley's family forever

Sunday, January 25, 2009 7:35 PM CST

2009 is here !!!!! It seems like my updates get further & further apart. Hanna has kept us busy with racing and we are working on rental property stuff and just trying to stay warm-it has been another icky cold winter for us. As time goes past....it is really no fun to live in this cold crap. It is hard for me to believe that 4 years ago little Miss Haley's Comet was born, we were having Haley's Celebration of Life, leaving for our Make A Wish trip and heading to Memphis "St Jude" all within 1 month.....as bad as ALL that was, I would go back to that day in a heartbeat.

As for us in general, not too bad-pretty much just the same ol' thing. Thinking about how life would be different with our Haley still here?! Hanna & I were able to make it to "the girls" basketball game yesterday & that felt so good to me-I miss seeing them & hearing about what's going on with them.....driving, grades/classes/teachers, dating etc. They have all grown up so much-they are beautiful young ladies!!! They didn't win their game, but for me it was just great to see them all-their hugs & smile melt my heart-I always come home & talk talk talk about them & once I lay down to talk to Haley-I breakdown:( It is healthy & good and just gives me sometime to reflect. It is so darn hard to lose your daughter, but to not be able to see her friends and share in their lives-would completely shut me down. They and their parents are so good to me-love & miss them.

**** We are fastly approaching Haley's 16th birthday and we need your help......We will be putting together Easter Baskets for children's hospital again-I know that this may not be able to continue on forever, but this year is a milestone & I don't want to let Haley or anyone down. If you are able to make any kind of donation we would be so Thankful-Hanna and I will be going shopping again to buy cart after cart of items to stuff the Baskets. If you can send toys that is fine, if you can donate money or gift cards that is Great as well. You can mail any of the above to Haley's Helping Hands c/o Hanna Mathis PO Box 27, Panama NE 68419-call if you have any question 402-788-2828. ****

We were able to head south to the warm state of Texas after the week of Christmas to have Hanna race motocross. She seen some great competition and had a blast. She did real well & it was a Great get away for all of us. We were able to see my Aunt Sharon, Angie/Anthony/Austin & Avery while we were there-that was so much Fun!! It was a Great distraction for Hanna from her school-school itself is not bad, but there are some pretty untrusting girls out there & I'm so glad that Hanna is an individual that can walk away from it-some of those girls-I only wish their parents knew what they said & typed on their myspace etc. At some point they will grow up, well at least I hope so. Until than, I'm happy Hanna is Great friends with several of the boys & a nice small group of girls that she can truly TRUST !!!

Prayers to all those families out there that need the extra boost & encouragement of knowing they can-some days I know it is not easy-I feel that same nasty pain.

Heavenly Hugs to all-Thanks for all your support & continued prayers for our family
Kevin, Patti, Angel Haley, Hanna & all the dogs :)

Tuesday, December 23, 2008 3:46 PM CST

Because I know how very little I get to use the computer...I wanted to type a quick update-things are fine, just moving forward day to day-the Holiday's just seem to get the best of me-it is SO darn hard. My prayers go out to each of you-holding onto the past, grasping those memories and yet trying to create news ones without your child. Prayers to our friends still going through treatment and those in remission(we Celebrate your victories).

I will type this poem, which says it all ~

'Tis Christmas in heaven what a beautiful sight!
I want you to know everything is all right.
The crib is adorned with the brilliance of the star;
Wiseman have come from near & far.
I've met all our dear ones who preceded us here;
The reunion was lovely, an event full of cheer.
And tonight we'll all gather in reverance we'll kneel,
For the babe in the cradle, up in heaven is REAL!!
I think of my family that I left behind,
And I pray that your Christmas is as blessed as mine.
Please shed no more tears for my soul is at rest,
Just love one another & live life to its best.
Yes, it's Christmas in heaven, so I've heard them say,
Yet, Christmas in heaven happens EVERYDAY !!!

Go spread the word & share your love-each day is truly a gift.

**To Haley's special friends-you are ALL to sweet, I received your gift and the tears continue to roll-you are ALL wonderful girls, who will make Wonderful ladies-continue to keep me in the loop and know how VERY much you ALL mean to me**

Heavenly Hugs
Merry Christmas to ALL
Kevin, Patti, Angel Haley & Hanna too

Wednesday, November 26, 2008 11:28 PM CST

Here it is-November 26th, sweet little Hannagirls 14th birthday! The site has been down for awhile & I don't get to have access to the computer all that much. I don't really have a whole lot to update on, things are still the same. I believe that Hanna had an okay day-she had a couple friends give her a call today-Thanks girls. I can't believe how grown up Hanna is, 8th grade 14 years old-WOW !

These are the times/months that I could flip right past, missing Haley & having our family be together is painful. While everyone else is putting up lights and getting everything ready-I really could hide inside the house, sing Christmas songs, sit by the fire-look at pictures, hold stuffed animals, hold Haley's clothes and cry. I miss so much about that sweet little girl, her laughter, love and excitement for LIFE !! I Trust in our heavenly Father & know that I will be with my sweet girl again, it is just that time between now & then.

I pray that this Holiday season you find happiness within your heart, reach out & help those in need-take time to reflect on where you have come from & set your path as to where you are headed.

My heart goes out to those families without there children with them and those who are struggling so hard right now, just trying to fight the fight (ie ryan/ne, hannahknudsen/ne and kyle/ia"Paula-Kyle's Mom), take time to stop by these sites and offer your prayers. Celebrate and pray for those children who are still fighting so hard and for those families who have their special children with them, following up with scans-just praying that one day that nasty cancer don't stike it's head again!!!

Haley, Thanks for being with your sister, looking out for her and helping her make smart decisions. Look after all your friends-those girls are turning that magical 16 !!

Once again, Thanks to those who remembered Hanna on her special day. Happy Birthday Banana Boat, we love you for who you are sweetie-you have so many of the same qualities of your BIG sister, don't change a thing-continue to pave your path and be that individual that you are. I know that you are such a good friend to so many-you truly care.

Forever Angel Haley's family

Wednesday, October 15, 2008 10:24 PM CDT

Sorry for the lack of updates...I know it has been a long time. There is nothing new to type about as for Miss Haley, as time goes by it seems so completely crazy that she is not here keeping busy with her friends at school, outside school, being involved in church group, preparing for Halloween, babysitting, being the GREAT Big sister she is & daughter, just being present here on Earth. I hadn't updated for awhile, because it seemed like some people were checking the website to see if & when we were not going to be home(be gone with Hanna for her races), this site is obviously not a site that I want to have set up for that...it was started while Haley was going through treatment and than I was trying to use it to be a resource to others going down the same road-I do however want to update on how Hanna is doing though.

Time continues to just tick by, sometimes it seems like it is zooming by & others, time is standing still. We have been very busy it seems like and are looking for a break.

I ask for prayers last update for Angel Kyle's Mom Paula(www.caringbridge.org/ia/kyle, she is now fighting her own battle and her family is walking at her side through all she is facing. If you get a chance please stop by & offer her prayers, as well as Mike & the kids they all need it. It has been hard to read her updates sometimes, as she is able to express what she is going through and it breaks my heart to know she is going through this. I read her words and feel some of the same things Haley talked about and went through-GOD you must make a difference, you MUST intervene-this is in NO way something that anyone should go through. The pain, the medicine, the loss of hair, wanting to eat-but not being able to keep anything in, being tired, angry, feeling all alone, feeling scared & begging for YOU LORD to help. I know that you are with us, and I know that you continue to support each of us, but it is very unfair. Please extend prayers to each family who is heading into the holidays without their someone special, those who are in treatment and those survivors and their families(as many children as we know who are now Angel-we do have friends that are survivors and we are proud of them and honored to know them).

I will try to update more now that Hanna is almost done racing for the year and give you updates on what we are doing and the events that Haley's Helping Hands will be putting together.

Thanks so much for stopping by & please know how very much it means to us that you were thinking of Haley-may she continue to reach out to those in need.

In our Father's Arm
Angel Haley's family forever

Monday, August 11, 2008 9:34 PM CDT

Thanks for stopping by. I can't help but to think back 5 years ago-the calendar was just as it is this year. The girls getting ready to start school, tomorrow night was & will be open house. Haley was on the Welcoming team, all dressed up, meeting new families and helping show them around school-Thursday will be & was the 1st day of school. I took Haley to St E's hospital on Wednesday August 13th, hoping that they would do something, but NO, I had to fight with them to get a ultra sound scheduled for the following Tuesday @ 7:00 am on August 19th....that is the day-everything changed. I have ALOT of emotions when I think of how one thing change your ENTIRE life. Haley was able to attend school Thursday, Friday and Monday. I won't go into detail on how that August 19th went, because that was then and you don't want to hear all that. I wish...I wish...I wish...I want...I want...I want-everything to go back to how it was, I miss my daughter and I miss how our family was. We have grown and learned alot, but I would trade it ALL to have Haley back. She would be getting ready to enter 10th grade-driving to school and looking just beautiful !!

This year will again bring many different curve balls, Haley's girlfriends/classmates have started turning....16!!! That is very exciting and scary all in one, I pray for each of them's safety and wish that Haley would be turning 16 here on earth as well. I can't help but to feel sorry for myself sometimes, but I do truly "Trust in God" with all my heart. He is the one that came to protect Haley-he held her hand and called her home-Thank you Lord Jesus, for taking care of our sweet Angel.

Hanna Banana will be entering 8th grade-I never would have thought about 8th grade for her, I guess I just think she should stay little forever. She is growing up before our eyes, babysitting tons, watching over the puppies and dogs, helping us here at home more than most kids ever do!!! She also makes us laugh, sometimes so darn hard.... I love that about her-she has such a funny sense of humor. She is looking forward to this year, but knows that there will be lots of homework coming her way!! Motocross is back on now that most of the puppies have been place in their new homes. She was a little rusty her 1st race, but is now ready to GO.....

I ask for special prayers for a Wilms family in Iowa-Angel Kyle's family, has been through enough and now Paula their Mom, is facing a battle of her own. She/they need your prayers-include them in your daily prayers, add them to your church prayer chain.

Thanks again for stopping by our sweet Haley's site

Angel Haley's family forever
Kevin, Patti, Angel Haley & Hanna

Tuesday, July 29, 2008 6:04 AM CDT

*******August 5th-Please stop by and offer prayers for a VERY strong friend of ours...www.caringbridge.org/ia/kyle(wilms family)-Paula went in for testing today and may need to start treatment-God be with their family as they have went down such along rode with Kyle and his battle and now being faced with this-we love you Reed family & send prayers your way. **********

** Update please google "Wyatt Rech meeting the president and look at the pictures of Bucket all dressed up with his tie & all-showing them dimples off next to President Bush"

As I look back to see how long it has been since I typed an update-WOW. We are keeping busy with the remaining puppies, trying to stay cool and preparing for school to start in just a couple weeks.

It seems so crazy to still type updates out here on Haley's website. It was here to deliver the message of how Haley was doing & what was going on, but now sometimes it just doesn't seem right. We live a pretty boring life, not much going on. I would love to say by the end of the year, we will use this site more for events that we will have in honor of Haley.

Hanna is actually grown a little bit in height, not much-so don't look to see a huge difference. She is sure growing up with just about everything she does. Every now & again-she truly says or acts out a Haley moment. Hanna will be in 8th grade this year-her very last year in Middle school. Hanna has missed alot of motocross since the puppies have arrived and due to flooding in Iowa, but she will be back at it soon-she looks so good riding this year!!! Haley's class will be entering 10th grade, which truly seems impossible. The girls are just now getting ready to start to turn 16....16 years old-now that blows my mind away. We are planning on getting together with the girls and hang out sometime soon-it is so hard with their busy schedules.

***********************************************************

I wanted to make sure to type a note asking you to stop by a very dear family members site...Mr Wyatt-one of our HERO's is going to the White House today. Please take a minute to swing by his website & let him know how proud of him, his Mom"Kris" and family we are of them. They made HUGE steps for Childhood Cancer and will make a difference for so many families, because of what they have done!!! Thanks guys, love you SO much. Please see the article below, this is what Kris put on Wyatt's website:

HOUSE PASSES COLEMAN LEGISLATION TO BATTLE CHILDHOOD CANCER
Senator calling on Senate colleagues to pass bill that will create national infrastructure to target childhood cancer, provide support to victims and their families

June 12th, 2008 - Washington, D.C. - The House of Representatives today passed the Conquer Childhood Cancer Act of 2007, legislation Senator Norm Coleman has been actively working to push through Congress. The bill, which Coleman introduced in March of last year, would provide $30 million per year through 2012 to establish special programs of research excellence in the area of pediatric cancers; create a national childhood cancer database; and increase information support for families affected by childhood cancer. There are currently 63 bipartisan cosponsors of this legislation, including the Senate Minority and Majority Leaders. The bill passed the House by a vote of 416 to 0 and now awaits action in the Senate.

“This House’s passage of this bill brings us one step closer to eliminating childhood cancer, the number one disease killer of children in America,” said Coleman. “Based on current rates, it is estimated that 1 of every 385 children in Minnesota will be diagnosed with a cancer before age 15. Behind this tragic statistic are the stories of brave children who are facing the fight of their lives every day, like my good friend and fishing buddy, Wyatt Rech – a childhood cancer survivor. This bill was influenced by brave little Wyatt and his family’s work to defeat this disease. I am encouraged by the overwhelming support of this bill in the House and I call on my Senate colleagues to follow suit and pass this critical legislation so children facing this perilous disease will have the support and the resources they need.”

More than 12,000 American children are diagnosed with cancer each year and more than 2000 more will succumb to this devastating disease. In Minnesota, about 160 children under the age of 15 are diagnosed with cancer and about 25 children die of cancer each year.

SENATE PASSES COLEMAN LEGISLATION TO BATTLE CHILDHOOD CANCER

Senators unanimously pass legislation that will target childhood cancer and provide support for victims and their families

July 16th, 2008 - Washington, D.C. - Senator Norm Coleman today announced the Senate passed the Conquer Childhood Cancer Act of 2007, legislation he has been actively working to push through Congress since he first introduced it in March of 2006. The bill provides $30 million per year through 2013 to establish special programs of research excellence in the area of pediatric cancers; create a national childhood cancer database; and increase information support for families affected by childhood cancer. There are 64 bipartisan cosponsors of this legislation, including the Senate Minority and Majority Leaders. The bill overwhelmingly passed the House last month by a vote of 416 to 0. The bill now heads to the President’s desk.

“The passage of this bill is a monumental step in the fight against childhood cancer,” Coleman said. “Childhood cancer tragically affects 1 in every 385 children in Minnesota, so it is critical for researchers, physicians and families to have the tools needed to confront this devastating disease. Behind this tragic statistic are stories of brave children like my friend and fishing buddy Wyatt Rech – a childhood cancer survivor, who had a large hand in this bill. After more than two years of pushing the Conquer Childhood Cancer Act through Congress, I am proud that my colleagues were able to come together and pass legislation that will provide the resources to not only support children and families with childhood cancer, but also find a cure.”

More than 12,000 American children are diagnosed with cancer each year and more than 2000 will succumb to this devastating disease. In Minnesota, about 160 children under the age of 15 are diagnosed with cancer and about 25 children die of cancer each year.

Thanks for stopping by to visit

Angel Haley's family forever & ever

*Hugs to you sweet girl-it truly seems impossible that it has been 4 years since your last trip to camp, brain surgery and almost 5 years since your diagnosis....not a hour goes by where you are not on Mommy's mind-hugs always babydoll*

Saturday, June 14, 2008 7:33 PM CDT

I would like to take a few minutes to wish all those Father's out there Happy Father's Day-extra hugs to those who don't have there sweet child to hug.

Sorry for the lack of updating, computers troubles, emotions etc. Since Haley's birthday, we have been faced with all those memories-last day of school, next grade, our trip to Mexico, special visits with friends, Mother's Day, the storms and now this month JUNE. The walk was good-Haley's Helping Hands put there table together again & we kept busy over there, so much I didn't get to see very many families that I wanted to. We released a sweet balloon for our Angels on that day-that was hard.

We have kept it kinda low key, because we have so many neighbor kids, but we do have babies....Daisy had 9 baby puppies-they are the cutest little things. We will get pictures out here soon.

Father's Day was the last holiday we spent together and was just the day & 1/2 before Haley earned her wings. I miss my sweet 15 year old daughter so bad. I think I'm going to get together with her friends and watch some videos, look at pictures and just cry. Those 10th grade girls are getting so grown up....I love those girls and I love to be around them-it hurts at times, because I know that Haley would be having so much fun with them-I know that she spends tons of time looking over them.

Hanna is busy babysitting and taking care of her new puppies. She is growing up so much, she is so strong!

As I type, the radio is playing "I can only Imagine"....well as the tears roll down my face, I will leave you all on that note....

I CAN ONLY IMAGINE....hold those children tight, love everyday and never regret...what IF !!

Heavenly Hugs
Angel Haley's family forever

Thursday, April 10, 2008 3:01 PM CDT

Happy Birthday to YOU....Happy Birthday to YOU...Happy Birthday dear Haleygirl...Happy Birthday to YOU !!! 15 years ago, our lives were blessed beyond words, this special sweet little girl came into our lives & we will never be the same. Happy 15th birthday sweetie

It is a very rainy day here in Nebraska, with snow on the way, so I must say there is something crazy taking place upstairs-what a party!!! I remember when we moved to our house that we are in almost 12 years ago, Haley's 4th birthday we had over 11 inches of snow & we loved being at home together!!!

The past 15 years have been full of so much happiness, love, learning, growing, heartache etc. It is hard to imagine the next 15 years without Haley here with us. 3 years ago she was Celebrating her Magical 12th birthday, with friends & family-fighting so hard to live her life. Everyday she was faced with so many struggles, but she faced it with such GRACE. I can't begin to tell you how much strength and love this young lady had/has-always thinking of others, which is why Haley's Helping Hands is so Haley-giving baskets full of fun treats to give so many children going through the same struggles that she faced & fought. I'm so thankful for the connections that we have made through having our girls, the people we have met through school, church and cancer has been so overwhelming.

As for our family, we are doing okay-missing our daughter, friend/sister more than anything. Still trying our best each day to face it with a portion of strength that Haley has passed along. The girl with the BIG heart & BIG smile-pretty much says it all. I miss the moments that all mothers & daughters share, I miss her laugh, smile, touch, voice, hair, clothes, eyes, ears, fingers, toes-this list goes on. Please learn from families like ours that life is way to short and there is no better time than now to let the little things go. Siblings-share, laugh, talk, walk, sing, play, tell secrets.....do all the things that Hanna & Haley are not able to do anymore!!!! Take what we have went through & change....be aware that there is no guarantee. Don't be scared to love, face each day with the I can attitude. Enjoy your days of being kids, grow in your FAITH and don't judge others-this is very hateful. This is something that Haley didn't do, she was good to all and she never wanted anyones feelings to be hurt.

I pray that this next year brings more healing & signs from our girl. God has such a Great helper up there-she continues to walk with each family that is facing this battle, in remission and those going through additional treatments.

Hanna is doing good, we are in the last quarter of 7th grade-can you believe that? She is so grown up, so beautiful, so caring and funny. Not a day goes by that she doesn't make me laugh-she is her sisters shining star!!! Track is going okay and motocross is rocking for her. With the help of someone-don't know who yet, I will at some point get a little video of her racing, so you can see how crazy she is-sometimes I forget that is our daughter out there!!! Amazing is what it is. We continue to pray that God & Haleygirl keep her safe when she is going so fast, so high and so far!!!

We may be in for a new arrival in our household.......yep, we are the proud owners of a new black lab(1 year old) and remember our sweet BIG yellow lab "Daisy Mae", well we will know in 2 weeks, if our Daisygirl is going to be a mama!!!

Thanks for all the birthday wishes for Haley-you don't know how much it means to have you swing by and leave a note. It helps the healing process to know that others are thinking of her-she is looking over YOU!!!

Happy Heavenly 15th birthday sweet girl

Kevin, Patti, Angel Haley & Hanna

Tuesday, April 1, 2008 9:35 PM CDT

**I got some different pictures posted**

Hello everyone!! Here it is April 1st, 9 days from Haleygirl's 15th birthday. I know that there will be a special Celebration on that day in Heaven!! We will do something special to honor our sweetie on that day.

Thank you so much to those very special people who helped us put together another wonderful Easter Basket delivery to those families and sweet children fighting cancer in Omaha. I know that we helped some of those kids just for one day distract what was going on around them. While Haley was going through treatment she was not able to have many friends come visit her, but it is sure nice to be with her friends and watch how good they are when visiting these kids. It was so healthy for Hanna & myself to visit and see those who cared so much for Haley & our family while we were staying at hotel Childrens and still do.

Once we get a computer that works, I will get pictures out here. Hanna started in track at school, she claims she is not very good, but does love to be around the other kids and friends from school-her 1st meet is on April 10th in Kansas. Motocross has started again & we had a Fun 1st place win this weekend-she looked so Great and had so much fun!!!

I will update again real soon!!!

Hugs to all of you reading
Angel Haley's family forever

Wednesday, February 20, 2008 10:28 PM CST

Hello Haleygirl fans.....this month is almost gone, I sure hope with the end of this month-winter leaves and brings warmer weather and sunshine!!! It is so hard to get motivated when you lock yourself in a room or two by the fire to stay warm.

Haley is missed and honored everyday in our house-for those of you who have just went through the loss of your child-my opionion is that it doesn't get easier, you learn to deal with your emotions, you still ache inside, find it hard to get up everyday without your special child with you, the dinner table, the window waving good-bye as you head down the street, at the door waiting for you when you get home, evening games & t.v watching, bedtime etc.

We are in the middle of preparing for Haley's Easter baskets-can you believe she will be 15 years old April 10th? We have received 8 donations(Thanks Shona, Lamberts, Haas's family, Brestel's, Nurse Kim & Andrew and both Grandma's & Grandpa's & Jenny C from my work), we can still use any contributions from you or someone you know-there will be way to many kids at Children's when we go up. I know that there is another little girl named Ellie with Wilms that is being treated up there, Miss Hannah will be there. The sad note is that there will be so many new families that we have never met, some of those at the very beginning of their fight, some in the middle, some back in relapse and others that we PRAY are finishing and receiving good news!!! Please send an email to haleym10@windstream.net or sign in with any questions you may have.

I will end with prayers to each of you reading, look at each day knowing that you can make a difference in each day and God be with each of you & your families.

Reaching to the stars and beyond-sending hugs your way Haley

Angel Haley's family forever

Monday, February 4, 2008 3:55 PM CST

**We are snug at home after what was a long weekend-it's cold outside & inside. We missed spending some good family time with Wyatt & his family while they ended up coming down for Sadie's service-we were not able to attend the service and had plans to leave for this weekend. I got to speak with Kris a little bit on Friday and that was it, we didn't get home till 7:00 on Sunday night. Prayers for their trip home, as they were probably headed home about the same time we were coming home. Prayers for my Uncle as we have received the news he has cancer-they/we will find out more hopefully in the upcoming week-Hugs to him!!! School conferences tomorrow for Hanna, renting an apartment, normal work(crazy), preparing for Haley's Easter baskets and starting to go through some very hard emotional things here at home. Woke to water main break-the nights seem to get shorter & the days longer in some ways....Hugs to all, Thanks for stopping by.

Not much to type other than....prayers are needed for another special Wilm's/Omaha Children's hospital family. Angel Sadie earned her wings last night/early this morning. Please keep her & her family in your prayers, her site is visit/sadielivers.

As well, keep the prayers coming for visit/hannahknudsen, she will heading to Minnesota for a second opinion, we need to offer prayers not only for Hannah, include her parents and the Doctors that are working on Hannah's plan. May God continue to guide them in the decision ahead of them.

Thanks for stopping by & Thanks to those who have responded in Haley's Helping Hands Easter Baskets-your the BEST !!! Spread the word

Hugs
Angel Haley's family forever

Monday, January 14, 2008 9:13 PM CST

Wow, I just felt the need to type a short update...Thanks in advance for listening-Hanna is down the street babysitting & I'm sitting here at the computer crying my eyes out-I can't believe how much this pain continues to haunt us everyday. I was looking through pictures, school books(reading what Haley wrote, who are your heros "Mom, Dad & Hanna" cuz they help me with everything(3rd grade), same thing again in 4th-followed by what she loves most about school, who are her friends, favorite subject etc). We seen one of her friends today(Alex), of course that always gets me going-Hanna & I are going to try to get to the 9th grade girls game this week. As I know how much I hurt, I ask that you please pray for those families like ours that have let their sweet children return home with our Father. Pray for those who are in remission that they stay there, those recently diagnosed and those who have relapsed(we know how terrible this feeling is). The other thing is Hanna has been singing Butterfly kisses today, ya know I have sung this song forever, but just looked the words up-WOW......Hugs every morning & Butterfly Kisses at night. God be with each of you!!

****Urgent prayers for our sweet friend Hannah from Children's in Omaha-for some reason I haven't been able to sign any of the new cb pages, but if you are able please stop by

www.caringbridge.org/visit/hannahknudsen
They were given the news that Hannah has relapsed-she & her family are very strong, but have a nasty road to face-additional site is visit/sadielivers, another Omaha family faced with a battle. I will try my best to be able to sign in myself, buy if you can let them know Angel Haley sent you!!!!

**Please read below we are collecting gifts and $$ for sweet Haley's 15th birthday(can you believe 15 years old in April).....Thanks for all your support with this project, it truly makes a difference**

Hello everyone!!! Thanks for stopping by & visiting....it is nice to know that you care enough about following Haley's story you still come by. We have been doing okay, I'm really glad that Christmas is here & gone-it is so hard on all of us-so lonely, as Hanna said “ You can't share anything with your sister etc”. This time of the year ALWAYS takes me back to January 16th,2005-Haley's Celebration of Life.....what a day-this was so special & Haley was feeling so good-what a true blessing this was. Those are the memories that I must close my eyes and hold onto. Thank you again to everyone for being a part of Haley's journey. The other special moment from January 2005-Comet was born, if you can believe it…she is 3 years old!!!

There are many kids that need your prayers right now, so many that have relapsed, lost their battle & been recently diagnosed just within our area. Children's Hospital in Omaha has been through so much, Extra prayers to the staff there, as they are always on our minds.

Speaking of Children's and the kids....it seems kinda soon, but we are in need of collecting items, gift cards and or money to purchase gifts to make Haley's Easter baskets and deliver to those special kids in the hospital. Easter is early this year, March 23rd-so we will be collecting from now till March, delivering to the hospital on Good Friday-March 21st. If you would like to contribute, please email with any questions, send gifts to Hanna’s attention at PO Box 27, Panama NE 68419 or we can pick up if you are close by. Thank you to all those who have helped with this special project in the past 2 years of this project-it truly means so much to those who receive the baskets, but also means so much to Haley & our family-it is just one small way to Celebrate one special girl.

Please let me know if you have any questions, and once again-thank you so much for being a part of this journey, I have no idea how long I will continue to type updates out here.

In God we Trust
Angel Haley’s family forever

Tuesday, December 25, 2007 10:39 PM CST

Here it is Christmas Day, I seen Hanna updated the other day, please read the previous message from her(I was surprised to see she had type an update-I love it though).

I must say, after tucking our sweet Hanna into bed tonight-Wow, the pain of missing your child will NEVER get easier. Today should be a day of Celebration, but let me tell you how hard it is. I hope Hanna don't get mad, but she was so upset tonight....it hurts me so bad to see and hear her cry so hard. She misses Haley so much and covers her emotions everyday-today was so different, you don't have that sweet sister to come down look underneath the tree with you, dig threw your stockings, wait to see what each other gets & gives.....and to have that someone special(not your parent) to play with your new games/toys etc. As I type this memos, the tears are just running down my face and Hanna lie in her bed holding her sister teddy bear & just clinging to her beautiful spirit. Haley sweet girl-hold your sister extra tight tonight, she so needs your warm arms wrapped around her.

I pray that each of you had a Merry Christmas and embraced the moment. We went to service last night & I cried my eyes out to "Away in the Manager and Silent Night". This year Hanna went shopping with my Mom and bought gifts for us, she did so great-clothes, shoes, pictures frames, kitchen items-Thank you so much sweetie-it means so much to have you do this. I just wish that we could give you what you truly wanted honey. Trust in God Always, and follow his & Haley lead-you will be okay sweetie.

Not trying to be a burden, asking for prayers for all those who are suffering, please include our family-as I fear the biggest part of Hanna's healing is to come-turning 13 and missing Haley so much, this is very hard on her.

God be with each of you over this Christmas Season, wishing you all a Blessed New Year.

Two things that I feel the need to say Thank you for. One I received a letter from our sweet 9th grader who went to school with Haley since they were younger, they moved away the year Haley was diagnosed-her Mom and her send a card with a beautiful letter in it "talking about the difference Haley has made & continues to make in her life-this meant so very much to me & Haley" Thank you so much for taking the time Amy & Claire for sending this-I will forever hold that letter & words close to my heart. 2ndly, Thanks so much for the beautiful door greeting that I/we were blessed with yesterday-by delivering us the wonderful picture of Jesus and the special meaning & quick response that made that delivery so special-Thanks Barb & family for this, we have found a special place between Haley & Hanna's pictures above the fire place-it looks perfect!!!

Heavenly Hugs to all
Angel Haley's family forever

Thursday, December 20, 2007 8:51 PM CST

Hey everybody
this is Hanna...
i was just sitting here doing nothing so i thought
i might as well type something on here..
So... i have one more day of school and then i am out for Christmas Break!!! i cant wait i am sooooo sick of school! TeHe TeHe
The last six weeks me and my friend, Taylor B., were in F.C.S and we had to sew these pillows so we both made whales! I got finished today and now I have to go to T.E.C.K what a joy I heard that it is horrible. Oh well
at least i wont have to sew anymore!! TeHe TeHE...
well ya I better go so
Have an absolute wonderful Christmas!!

LoVe HaNnA!!!

Thursday, November 22, 2007 8:41 PM CST

Here it is....Thanksgiving day. So much to be Thankful for, but yet the feeling of heartache fills not only this day, but everyday. Gosh, who would think that life here on Earth can be so full of life & love, and on the other hand full of sorrow & pain.

Haley is remembered & thought of everyday and missed in such a terrible way. The Holidays are & were so BIG to her-Hanna misses having her sister be here in everyway. I miss having her be here with me/us etc. Reality is that this pain will always be here and we must go through the motions everyday till we go to Heaven with Haleygirl and our Savior. Please know we do smile, laugh & love everyday-Haley taught us to never let this go-continue to look to the future(always hold those memories from our past). I would live in the past & probably do most days-it is just so hard to try to Celebrate any Holiday/traditions etc.

With all this being said, we spent the day at home today-just us. I have no idea what we will do for this 3rd Christmas without Haley here. Can you believe that...3 whole Christmas's without her here. Oh how my heart still hurts for her & us. I know that Heaven is so much better with her & I know that there are so many children there with her-she is such a GREAT helper. Thanks Haley sweetie.

Hanna's 13th birthday is just 4 days away. Wow, I remember how excited Haley was when she came to the hospital to hold her baby sister 13 years ago. She kept talking about that being her baby-she had lots of baby dolls at home, but this one was real & her little sweetie!!! As I type, my eyes continue to fill with water and anger fills my heart. How can something like this destroy someting so special?! Cancer sucks-childhood cancer is so terrible. Please take the time to pray that they just don't try to find a cure, but that the find the cause.

Here's wishing my sweet soon to be teenage Banana boat a very Happy birthday!! May you know how very special you are to us. You are a spitting image of your older sister & everyday you remind me of her more & more, but yet you are still so different/in your own way, just like when you were both little. May your future be blessed and may you receive all the happiness that you deserve. Everything you do times 2 sweet thing !!!

Here's wishing each of you a very Happy Thanksgiving, prayers to all families who are living each day without your child, those families who have had childhood cancer strike their family in someway-we continue to pray for each of you.

In our prayers Always
Kevin, Patti, Angel Haley & Hanna

Thursday, November 1, 2007 9:26 PM CDT

Okay, it has been forever....We have a new laptop, so I can try to at least get some updates out here(I can't wait to hook the camera and scanner up). Today, I woke to asking God to help me change-stop feeling so sorry for myself and to help me make a difference in someone else's life, this is something I don't feel I have been very good at. I/we miss Haley so much-14 year old sweet girl-gone! I really wish I could get excited about the holidays, birthdays etc, but it's tough.

1st thing 1st-Miss Hanna broke her left leg, both bones straight across right above her ankle-it went through her growth plate, but everything will be fine!! She has been on crutches since October 10th. We were at a two day race, she was riding Great and had a very hard/high landing, just the impact of the landing broke her leg. We had a 2 hour drive home to meet our Dr., he set her leg 2 days later. She is getting along real good & can't wait, cuz he will be letting her out of her cast 3 weeks earlier than what he originally said:) Prayers for our friend Phil, who last weekend broke both his feet, dislocated his ankles, broke both hands etc. He is a mess, but is getting along okay-they have 3 children under 10 and he will be bundled up for at least 3 months. Kevin & BJ were right there to help remove Phil's boots, wrap his ankles/feet with ice/towels etc.

The pumpkin patch was good, very muddy and Hanna was on crutches-it was hard for her to get around, but she did good and had fun with Jade, Khianna, Tallon & Tenley. We went to see a movie last night for Halloween.

We finally sold our 14 plex in Lincoln-2 wonderful brothers came and bought it from us within a week, paid cash !!! It still really hasn't sunk in yet-but we do need to Celebrate that chapter and continue to concentrate on the remainder of the property we have to get rid of. Hopefully over time, this change will help our family get along better:)

The next couple events are of course Kevin's birthday, Wyatt's birthday and Hanna's 13th birthday. I'm trying to come up with something special for Hannagirl, this is a tough one since Haley wasn't here to Celebrate her 13th birthday physically with us. If you have any ideas about something special, send me an email at haleym10@windstream.net

May your days be filled with joy and sunshine, may you face each challenge with Hope & Faith and pray that you make a difference in someone else's life. May each child that you know who has fought cancer give you just a little of their strength.

Thanks for stopping by to visit Haley's site-please take just a minute to remember something special about how Haley made a difference in your life.

Ya Gotta Believe
Angel Haley's family forever

Sunday, October 14, 2007 2:44 PM CDT

**Hanna's website(which hasn't been updated cuz of the computer), is sponsorhouse.com Hanna Mathis/ne**

Sorry for not updating lately, we still are without a computer and this library thing only gives me 15 minutes!

Here's hoping that you are all doing well, I have things that I will update on soon & would love to get pictures out here of the girls at Halloween time(one of our favorites). Hanna will be going with some family friends next weekend to the pumpkin patch & she is actually excited about it (this is great, cuz the past 2 years she hasn't been very excited about doing anything). Some of you might know one of the families-their oldest son Jade, went through treatment in Omaha a couple years ago-he has a younger sister Khiana & little brother Talon, Hanna races motocross with Jade(it is weird how everything comes back to the cancer thing-we didn't know them through our treatment or theirs). The other sweet little girl is Tenley-Hanna just loves her to pieces, she just had her 1 year birthday. It is nice to see Hanna smile:) Haley would love to be with these little guys, that of course is something she was/is so good at-I know she has her hands full upstairs with so many little boys & girls with her.

Prayers go out to all our CB families, we will make our rounds once we get hooked back up at home.

I/we got to see some of Haley's friends this weekend-Gosh that is so good-I miss them girls so badly. I pray this school year is going good for each of them. Homecoming etc...WOW !!!

God Bless each of you
Angel Haley's family forever

Friday, September 7, 2007 4:28 PM CDT

Hello all, here's another update that is not to exciting. We don't have much going on to report on. 4 years ago Haley had just been diagnosed and we were swimming around trying to figure out what this childhood cancer thing was all about….

We try to focus on the now, but I live so much of my everyday in the past…..everything I refer to is, from Haley & Hanna etc. You could just about go through anything in life, but to have your child taken from you-Wow, it completely messes you up.

Hanna is keeping busy with school & motocross (she is starting to really love this sport), so much that she is not sure what she wants to do for softball next season!!!! I'm not sure how Mom feels about all that right now, don't get me wrong-I love the motocross thing and we have met some Super people there. The softball thing-is what I once was all about, Hanna is good at it and her & Haley loved playing it. She still wants to play, but when you play for a traveling team-you feel the heat when you are gone & not able to make a game, she carries that on her shoulders & I don't need or want for her to do that.

I think all else is okay, still working on this crappy rental property stuff and pray that very soon this will all change.

Enjoy the weather, your family & Celebrate Life

In God's loving arms
Angel Haley's family forever

Tuesday, August 14, 2007 4:56 PM CDT

Ya know when things seem like they are to good to be true….well that has been the situation with our apartment complex. It looks like we are back to square one-in debt over our head & frustrated as can be. I pray that something will change that very soon-as the stress that this causes me/us, is terrible.

The summer is closing or at least school is starting for sweet Hanna. 7th grade here she comes!!! I will be heading to open house tonight for Hanna, wishing more than anything to be heading to the High school for Haley's open house, but I'm not, so I wish those children & their families good luck this upcoming year-it is SO hard to believe that they are Freshmen!!!

Motorcross is going good, Hanna was released by her Dr to ride again, so she has been trying to get back out there, but that is hard to do-when it is 100+ outside!!! This weekends race went pretty good-Hanna got 3rd in the women's class(she hasn't rode for over 2 weeks). Several of her friends got hurt & she/we are very sad for them-speedy recovery to each we pray-one who has become family, will still be coming out to help Hanna-coach her along, since he will be in a brace for 12 weeks. I know that's the risk of the sport, but we still ask for God to watch over them as they ride!!!

Prayers to all our CB families, I will update more once I get our computer fixed again-I bought the part over lunch today-so I'll keep my fingers crossed.

Ya Gotta Believe
Angel Haley's family forever

Wednesday, August 1, 2007 6:48 PM CDT

***Okay, couple quick things-prayers to our friend Brandon-who crashed on his motorcycle & went in for surgery and for Peyton(the little girl Hanna babysits), she will be having surgery on Monday for her arm. We have most of Hanna's sponsorhouse webpage set up-we will update with some additional information this weekend. Please stop by sponsorhouse.com and type in Hanna Mathis-it will bring you to her picture, click on there & you can view all kinds of information, pictures etc. Prayers to those in Minnesota, we were glad to talk with Kris aka Wyatt's mom and find that they are all okay...hugs:)

Hello to all, it's August 1st-WOW, here we go !! Not much happening, but on the same note-lots is happening-hope that makes sense!!

As I type, I know that there are way too many families that are dealing with or in the middle of treatment, relapse etc. My heart goes out to each of you, I could never cover you all by name and I haven't been by very many sites lately. Locally-prayers to Tanner's family-NO words can explain how & what they are dealing with each day, but God is keeping a very close eye on Tanner, Miss Molly is still having some concerns with a spot that they noticed right about the same time as the walk-positive thoughts Lamberts-Miss Hannah for good scans, Abby as she continues treatment, Darby-Angel Brooke's Mom as they prepare to have a new little family addition and of course to those sweet Angel families locally-Josh, Jessica, Skylar, Addie, Lizzie-extra hugs to each of you. Several local friends that are in remission, please look at the picture on jakieboy/ne site-I will find the one that I have of Haley & put it out here, she looks alot like Jake-and if I remember correctly, he always said he liked the way Haley looked with NO hair-love ya Jake-give your parents a hug :) As for all our CB families-we pray for you each night, may each of you have a very bright light(like Emily) watching over you!!!

School is just around the corner-High school for Miss Haley's class-WOW, that seems impossible-I pray that each child in this grade has a Great year and knows that they are ALL very close to my heart !! Haley's softball friends-11th grade, my they have all grown up & I don't see them very often and of course Hanna's group, 7th grade-we will miss Barry not being at school very much this year.

Lots of emotional stress along with rental property heavy on the minds right now-soon hope to have some positive news that I can share and a time to turn to a new chapter in our life.

Thanks for stopping by, I will list a new/different site for Hanna once I get it set up-I think that will be good for her to know, she has a site where people can look at what she's doing.

In God We Trust
Angel Haley's family forever

Friday, July 20, 2007 4:30 PM CDT

**God answered some of my request-tonight I came home and was able to get the computer fixed for now on my own, I still have to hook up the scanner**

Once again, it seems like forever since I have typed. We/I still have not got our computer fixed at home, so these updates are hard to get done- I have no way to put different pictures out here and that really gets me down. I wanted & need to change them over to some softball and motocross pictures etc.

I know you all get tired of reading those updates that sound like…..poor/poor Haley's family, please don't ever take them that way, but WOW-I never ever thought it could continue to ache the way it does. I'm tired ALL the time and it is actually getting harder to get out of bed than it had been. When your child is going through treatment, you have to get up to give them medicine/shots, see if they have a fever, watch them, investigate/research on the internet late at night/early in the morning etc. Believe me, I still check on Hanna and watch the crazy way she sleeps-I am very Thankful she is here for me to watch, but it truly eats at my heart to know that Haley should be right there with her. So as the nights may seem long sometimes, with your children crying, sick, the stress of bills, marriage etc……Please remember to be Thankful for everything you have, hold, hear, touch etc. Life can and does change overnight.

This week marks the Camp COHOLO week for Cancer kids…..Haley was only able to attend 1 year, but that 1 year brought her SO much, I can't tell you how important that is to these children. I pray that those who attended this year-had a Great time and were able to enjoy the week of fun events. I am also jealous that my sweet girl is not there, which is kinda silly that it is a cancer camp & I'm sad she is not there-does that make any sense??

As we move forward into this next month, lots of thoughts, emotions etc. The 4 year mark from when Haley was diagnosed, Hanna starting 7th grade(a grade Haley never reached), Haley's class going into High School 9th grade….WOW-lots of what if's. I pray that Hanna has a good/smooth year this year-I'm truly worried that we are going to run into some issues.

Hugs to each of you for reading all the way down here to the bottom, prayers for you & your families.

YaGottaBelieve
Angel Haley's family forever & ever

Monday, July 2, 2007 4:48 PM CDT

Okay, it has been forever & we still don't have our computer fixed (I guess I have to unplug it & take it in somewhere in order to get it fixed huh?-just hasn't been top priority lately).

We have made it through yet another month of June…..I tell you what the whole month seems to haunt me in a way. This month is suppose to be filled with the Summer fun days, getting out of school in May for us, playing softball, swimming, playing softball & swimming(oh I said those twice didn't I, that's because those are events that Haley & Hanna always did). Now, I close my eyes and flip back to June 2005, coming home from Mexico, getting the last day of 6th grade in for Haley and a month of horrifying days, discomfort, the last Father's Day, the last softball game that Haley went to of Hanna's & cheered her sister on- and the heartache for our whole family. The 20th is almost the hardest day of them all, that was the day so much changed & God came to take Haley's hand and hold her forever. Oh we miss that sweet girl something terrible…..everything reminds me of her-I'll tell you what, for those who have been around Hanna lately……WOW, she is starting to act more & more like Haley, some of the expressions and things she says & does…….precious.

Next, we have been busy every weekend since I don't know when……softball tourney's & moto cross…..Hanna won her 1st, 1st place trophy last weekend on June 25th….not many would know-but I would say that her sister was right there with her(that was the day that we held Haley's Celebration of Life 2 years ago)….Great job on your race Hanna, you rock sweetie.

So many prayers go out to those families who are in the middle of treatment, continue to fight for the very best for your child, don't take no for an answer & hold them oh so tight. Extra prayers to our sweet friend Tanner in Omaha, her family & her are facing some very tough days and a situation that I am all to clear of the understanding on. Please offer up prayers for each of them, with extra's of course for Tanner with special prayers for her parents and brother & sister. God is watching over you, along with a very special Angel or two I'm sure……..

To all those who continue to check in on us, Thank you so much….I will change pictures and things once I get the computer fixed…..

YaGottaBelieve
Angel Haley's family forever & ever

Thursday, June 14, 2007 12:53 AM CDT

****The 1st Annual St Baldricks event went GREAT in Lincoln**** They raised some great money, had fun & honored not only Haley, but all children who have dealt with Childhood Cancer and their families!!!! It was a great opportunity to meet Wendy & the group from Digital ims(Thanks to each of You), to see Kenny from school and to have Bounce our local DJ from KFRX-be a part of this event. I work with Bounces parents and we are honored to say that he not only spoke on behalf of Haley & our family.......he shaved his head!!!!! That is Wonderful, it is all for the cause....Thanks again to all those involved in making this event happen.

Okay all, I know it has been some time since I have last typed an update, so here you go:

Thanks to those of you-who donated to Haley's Helping Hands for the Childhood cancer walk in Omaha. Thanks to those of you who came out to walk or work at Haley's table, it was a lot of fun and showed just what Haley would like to do…..make other children SMILE !!! I know that as time goes along, things will become different and the connection that is there now, will change, but the big picture tells me "that childhood cancer will still be here".

Haley's friends will grow up, graduate, move on, have family's of their own etc. I pray that the influence that Haley has had made on their life, will make them get better grades, make good choices, treat their bodies right( ex, drinking/smoking etc), marry the man they love & want to grow old with and raise their children differently because of what they seen their friend go through-I know that is years to come, but I pray that I will still be in touch with these girls and that they let me know what's going on in their lives every now and again.

We of course we surrounded by some very special friends at the walk(I'm sure I will forget someone-so sorry in advance)-Wyatt aka. Bucket(www.caringbridge.org/wyattrech/mn) Jake, Josh, Tanner, Hannah, Abby, Emma,Angel Brooke, Angel Josh, Angel Skylar and last but not least Miss Molly…….after visiting with Molly's family, I need to place some addition prayers-Molly has been doing very well for sometime now and just recently has been having some pain on her lower back, they took Molly in & now must do further investigating (yesterday they were to go in), please send extra prayers for this family-they are Super and need your support!!!!

Outside the walk, softball and motocross have been the big tickers for us, we are working on our rental property and trying to function with each new day. As each new days comes our way, I know we should be excited & cherish each moment, but to those of you who have lost a child-you will know what I mean, when I say that it just doesn't work like that. As we get closer to June 21st "Haley's Angel Day", I must say that you don't even realize but your whole mood changes, yes I know that we should Celebrate the fact that Haley is in her Heavenly home with the "Big Guy and surrounded by some many friends and family", but sometimes that is what is hard to imagine. I do sometimes get excited about the thought of being in Heaven holding her hand or her and talking about everything…..I miss her so much and each day is such a heart break without her here.

Please take just a minute next week June 21st to honor Haley, by stopping at the time she was brought into this world 3:01 pm ( I don't want for you to get up in the middle of the night when she went home), but if by chance you are lucky enough to be visited by her in the middle of the night…..give her a BIG hug from her Mommy!!!!

Hanna is a busy girl, she is babysitting most of the summer at least 3 days a week, this way she can still do what all kids love to do…sleep in a little, watch tv and be bored!!! She misses Haley something terrible and we have had some visits lately-I know that she holds a lot in, and as she gets older-I know she will have more that she needs to talk about and work through.

Well, now that I have chewed your ears off, Thanks again for stopping by to visit Haley's site & see what's going on with us, Thanks again to Beth & family, as well to Shona & family - you are so very sweet & thoughtful !!! Prayers go out to our sweet little friend Molly & Ellieanna and her family, may the days ahead start to become more routine & may the Dr's get things pieced together to work for Ellie. Hugs to all

Ya Gotta Believe to Receive
Angel Haley's family forever & ever

**Haley almost 2 years have passed without you here sweetie and this just doesn't seem true, you know my every thought/everyday-the pain/loss that we deal with……I just want you to know that you continue to make a difference, you will ALWAYS make a difference and we ask that you continue to work your magic with the little boys & girls. Holding onto to Heaven, Hope & Haleygirl is a daily thought. FAFA babygirl :)**

Sunday, May 13, 2007 6:08 PM CDT

**Here's where you all come in to play....come one/come all...Update, please see the upcoming events that we will be honoring sweet Haley in June......the 2nd annual childhood cancer walk in Omaha June 9th www.milestoneswalk.org (haley's helping hands) we will have t-shirts made for this event and I will post more on that soon, please see Haley's Helping Hands and make a small contribution. 2ndly Haley is being honored at the 1st annual StBaldricks in Lincoln this year June 14th, www.stbaldrickslincoln.org, please help or come down to watch this event in June. You can wear your t-shirts to both events!!!! email me at haleym10@windstream.net if you have any questions.***

Happy Mothers Day to all of you reading this. I put some new pictures out here for you. I will not lie this day has got to be one of the very toughest for me.....just think of the words-Mother's Day-my heart goes out to every Mother who is in the same shoes as myself, we will never fully Celebrate Mother's Day the way we used to. Dont' get me wrong, I feel VERY Blessed to have had Haley & Hanna right here with me for over the 13 years that I Celebrated with my babies....now there is an empty feeling that will just not leave. I'm in a slump and need to come around, truly everyday is just going through the motions, not really making a difference or caring the way I need to. I can tell Hanna wants to do things, but as well it is tough for her, as she has her own emotions and than not sure how Mom is going to react(over a 50/50'll be crying anyway).

2 years ago we were in California/Mexico enjoying my very last on Earth Mother's Day with both the girls, I'm not complaining-I still have sweet Hanna right here with me and Haley is trying to push us all forward(keep up the good work sweetie-I know how very tough it is). Hanna gives me that Wonderful smile everyday and her special "I love you Mommy's" and I know that we have a long road ahead of us, I just pray that each day I fill the ache that Hanna holds within somehow.

Hanna & I were able to attend Nurse Kim's wedding to Andrew on Friday and WOW is the words that come to mind......that Kim, she really cleans up GREAT and makes a Super bride-I will get a picture of Kim, Crystal & Hanna out here soon. They left today for the week long honeymoon. Of course, I haven't been back to a church other than services for all our friends who have joined Haley in Heaven and yep, you guessed it.....I cried, several reasons though-1} Kim means so much to us & Haley loved her from the very 1st day we were admitted 8-19-03, Kim was our 1st in patient Nurse and continued to be one that we had everytime we were back 2}Kim looked so happy & beautiful 3} I was thinking about how I will not be able to go through that for Haley-she would have made a BEAUTIFUL bride herself(Hanna will have to go BIG for the both of them)....but whatever the reasons-I'm sure I looked like a fool.

Extra prayers to our special family friend Lindsey and her boyfriend Ryan who were in a very serious car accident. I have worked with Lindsey Mom, Jenny since 1989, she is one of my very best friends. I just spoke with her and Lindsey is doing okay, we ask for continued prayers for her healing and extra prayers for Ryan as his outcome is not near as strong as Lindsey's. Keep them and their families in your prayers. Big Love's to the Osterholt's-talk with you soon.

Lastly, the other day in the mail-Kevin says, look at this....SouthEast Community College sent me a form for Driver's Ed-I wonder why he says?......Well, as my eyes welt up....I of course say "Haley is 14 years sweetie, she would be getting ready to drive"...not if that doesn't take your breath away & make your heart pound hard-those are the moments where you feel so weak, so lost, so hurt & angry. As Haley's class comes to the end of the school year, they will be moving up & onward to 9th grade-my sweet girl would be moving to High school next year. The other thing that has been bugging me, that not to many others probably realize is that the end of this school year marks and first & last for us, Hanna will be leaving 6th grade behind and moving on to a grade that Haley was not able to reach(well she passed 6th grade, but was not able to see 7th), these are the things that parents like myself deal with and this website I guess helps me type what I don't usually share.....sometimes I'm not sure what to type, but I just talk from the heart.....

Thanks for listening & caring....Once again-Happy Mother's Day to each of you and Thanks again for stopping by to check in on us.

In God we Trust
Angel Haley's family forever

Monday, April 23, 2007 9:07 PM CDT

Hello dear friends....

We don't have much to update on-I was outside on Saturday & a very beautiful YELLOW butterfly kept coming by me when I was watering, than on Sunday.....there she was again, only she brought a friend with her this time-Thanks sweetie:)

This time of year is normally so exciting for us, the girls would be practicing softball every night & trying hard to keep concentrating on schoolwork, well-Hanna is trying to complete both those tasks riding her motorcycle and play with all the little neighborhood kids. Kevin built her a track(well let me state that again...them a track) on our back lots-they have had fun back there messing around.

Hanna is doing pretty good-I'm ready for this school year to be over & there to be a break with seeing the same kids/friends in your class everyday. Sometimes enough is enough....bring on summer break!!!! I pray that Hanna is acting the way I feel she would be at school & events. She would love to have people talk with her about Haley & bring up stories they remember or what they do differently because of Haley and the lessons that our family have faced. She remembers those we went through treatment with locally, those we met & St Jude and those we met by delivering baskets to Children's. She talks of these children & prays for them always. Hanna's email is hannam9@windstrem.net, if you would like to sent her an email. Thanks in advance. As she approaches that magical 13 years old, she gets more & more emotions & just the emptiness of not having her BEST FRIEND with her hurts.....the conversations, the hugs, the movies, sports, friends etc. Hanna has really done alot of things lately that remind me of Haley-her smile right now is very close, she is missing so many of the same teeth that Hay was.

As for the next projects we have on the calendar....I will wait on the cookbook a little while, since another organization in Omaha just did one-I will send communication out during the summer months on it-as you would know-Haley wouldn't want her cookbook to be all about her, so I'm talking to our CB families now, could you think of taking a picture of your sweet kids cooking, baking etc. and email or mail to me-I'm not sure how many we can use, but I would love to include our friends. To our Angel CB families, if you have pictures of your little ones making something special, get me a copy of the picture please....Thanks and to the rest of you, put together your favorite family recipes-we will need them.

Extra prayers to those who are going in for scans. Miss Hannah goes tomorrow & we are sending extra prayers for her, EllieAnna we are always sending prayers up for you sweetie-I haven't been by sites lately, but will get out there sometime soon.

The 2nd annual Childhood Cancer walk will be taking place on June 9th in Omaha, Haley's Helping Hands will have a team and a activity table set up. Please email Hanna at hannam9@windstream.net if you are interested in finding out a way you can help. Money donations, business donations, treats to place in bags that will be giving to each walker-great way to advertise or if you would like to purchase a t-shirt and walk in honor of HALEY !!!

That's all for now, Hanna has a tournament this weekend-I will update after that & let you know how she does.

Forever in our Hearts Haleygirl
Your family

Monday, April 9, 2007 9:10 PM CDT

I should have updated earlier-beware this will be long & emotinoal I'm sure. I was moving right along today doing pretty good & now tonight I can hardly breathe.

We were able to deliver 67 baskets to Omaha Children's Hospital. It felt so very good doing this, seeing those wonderful people/friends that were there for us. It was so very sad to see so many new faces of families-we knew none of the families that we delivered baskets to. We were able to get together with some of Haley's friends & a couple of Hanna's to make this a very special delivery. I can't say that I hope they all enjoyed doing this, cuz that doesn't really sound right, but I do hope that within each of them-there is a sense of knowing what the hospital looks like, some of the things Haley & so many others go through etc. There is know way to compare other than being there & going through this hell that you can begin, but every little bit helps. A BIG Thanks to all of you who have contributed to help with this effort-Haley's Helping Hands is YOU!!!!

I hope everyone was able to have a Good Easter, it has been cold/cooler here, so that put a damper on what you can do outside.

Next on my mind & heavy on my heart is Haley's 14th birthday.....oh my just typing it hurts. I miss Haley so much, and sometimes I truly have to tell you that they pain gets stronger!!!! I know that there are days you may go without crying hard etc, but the pain of Haley not being here & not being able to Celebrate anything with her-HURTS. The girls have always kept me on my toes, never ask for much-still never do, but to not be able to plan for Haley's birthday here sucks- I know that tomorrow those Angels will light it up & have a Great day for her and we will try our best to do that here for her. I miss her giggle, laugh, touch, smile, voice, smell, love, hugs, her I love you's Mommy!!! I try so hard each day to live like everything is okay and that I'm so strong, when deep inside I'm crumbling. I want so bad to go back to how it was before......to not have to watch our daughter go through cancer, figthing so hard to LIVE!!! Haley was not able to live her life as long as most, but while she was here...she did what she could-never judging, ALWAYS listening, teaching, helping, encouraging, SMILING, loving-oh she cared so much!!! She still does, but she must send her messages from above-always watching out for us-guiding, teaching and lifting us up. I can't help but to smile when I think of some of the funny things Haley would say or do.

If you can, please say a prayer for our family to continue to find the strength to face each day without Haley here, to move forward with her mission and help other families if & when we can.

We have several things planned for tomorrow-lots of things that have to be done, but other things where we will take time to remember Haley, we will do things the Haley way & look for her signs on this special April 10th, 2007.

Thanks for listening to me, just typing this entry has helped me relax some. Hanna is doing good, she will be staying home from school tomorrow-it is tough on her as well, lately she has been doing so many things that remind me just how much these girls are alike. She misses her sister terribly bad and finds peace with helping at events, like the Easter Baskets, she is looking forward to the walk and she will be recruiting several of you for this & the cookbook as well.

I'm going to go curl up by the fire and try to relax the rest of this evening. Please Celebrate Haley's birthday tomorrow in some small way with your family. Cherish being able to wake your children up for school, make their breakfast, brush their teeth, tie their shoes, get backpacks ready-make lunch, send them off to school, enjoy lunch at school with them, pick them up, after school snack, play outside/inside,sporting events, supper/dinner time together, reading, school work, bath time, reading, prayers, cuddle time, kisses on the forehead/cheek, tucking them into bed...singing a song, rocking them in the chair, brushing their hair-saying "I love you sweetie", watching them lie asleep in their bed & praying that in the morning you get to do it all over again. Be Thankful each day for this gift.......

**Haleygirl-Happy 14th birthday beautiful.....I know you witness every tear that falls from my/our face-some are happy tears others are sad-you gently wipe them away. You continue to work your magic-Celebrate each day & know how VERY much we miss you sweetie. I know that you embrace me/us everyday and carry us through-you are so strong honey. Take time out for you tomorrow to enjoy your day okay, let those little boys & girls sing to you & watch for all those down here that will be sending you luvs!! FAFA babygirl

YaGottaBelieve
Angel Haley's family 4ever

Monday, April 9, 2007 9:10 PM CDT

Thursday, March 22, 2007 5:29 AM CDT

**Hanna rocked at her 1st race ever....she was a little nervous the first motto, but came in 2nd behind a monster of a girl who has a big bike, her second motto-she learned a tough lesson...never stay behind slow bikes, pass as soon as you have the chance, she got 3rd the second race, which give her overall 3rd place and a trophy. She is very happy with this & is riding even harder now than she did this weekend...her & her friend Lexi had a great time this weekend. I will get pictures out her soon.***

Hello to all of Haleygirl's fans….1st off-Thank you so much for continuing to stop by and check in on us. When looking back I wish that there was no need to have a CB site & that the girls were busy in school, church, sports and goofing around on the computer with maybe a "myspace" or something, but for those of us who have had to set up a CB site…we are Thankful, it has helped us deliver the same message to some many at one time. Now it is a resource for other families who are just starting out, to those who are still moving forward in treatment, to those who have faced the ugly situation that we have and to those who's children are perfectly fine right now. I know that by continuing to type updates, I sometimes am able to relieve stress & share something new, we reach out to others who stop by even if it is to see updated pictures, the message is still there "to live each day to it's fullest, don't let the small things get in your way, reach out to others in need, and above all Believe".

Just as giving birth to Haley & Hanna, cancer has changed my life 4ever. I would honestly have to say in a terrible way, but I know that my comment of course would be different if Haley were sitting next to me, being active in all the 8th grade activities-spreading her love & sharing her wonderful/contagious SMILE. Cancer has taken so many things away, not only from our family, but to all those that Haley had grown up with-friends, teachers, neighbor kids & Miss Hanna-they have been robbed of so much, but as Haley would say there is a message to be taught here & she along with so many others are still teaching…..Go after what you want, be RESPECTFUL, value friendship, don't be hateful, learn something new each day-this list goes on & on…..So I try my hardest to be tough/brave like Haley and all these children who are effected by cancer-they are TRUE HERO'S.

As, I build a rambling story, I head towards those who have made contributions to any organization this year that benefits "Childhood Cancer", we have received some money donations and some bags of gifts to get us started for the Easter Baskets that we will soon be putting together. Thanks to those who have contributed & to those who are still working on something-God Bless you all

Things have been about the same for us, Hanna is keeping busy with softball practice and motocross-yes she is really loving riding that bike-I'm not sure if I'm ready or not, but her first race is coming up this weekend. I will post some pictures of that event for you to see. Good Luck Nanna-be careful, know that we love you and whatever you do…..X2 sweetie:)

Please say prayers for those families who are without their sweet children, to those who have just had scans and are waiting on results, to those who are living each day to it's fullest(yes that is YOU)-keep on keepin' on & fight for CHILDHOOD CANCER!!!!

Ya Gotta Believe
Angel Haley's family 4ever

Monday, March 5, 2007 7:36 PM CST

**New photo's**

Okay, I know it seems early for me to be planning, but Haley's 14th birthday is April 10th and Easter is on April 8th this year, so the plan at this point is to put Easter baskets together by April 1st and deliver on Good Friday-April 6th. This will be here before I know it, you can mail to PO Box 27 Panama NE 68419.

As last year, if you would like to make a donation of any kind that would be great with the exception of "NO candy". Be creative & think about if you were in the hospital-what would be something cool to play with!! I haven't spoke with Anisa or Rob yet, but I'm sure they have babies(less than a year) up to 18 years old. If you would like to donate money or gift cards that will work as Hanna can go shopping like she did last year(very good therapy for her). If you should have any questions, please email myself or Hanna at haleym10@windstream.net or hannam9@windstream.net

As for everything else we are moving right along-thinking and searching constantly for what our purpose in life is? I know that I have some hidden talents & they are just waiting for me to use them, I just hope it happens soon. Hanna is doing good in school, she brought home a baby chicken today-she has had so much fun with it, her friend Hannah has the sibling to it(I hope it keeps their family up all night like I'm sure it will us). Comet was the first to run up & do a meet/greet this new addition. I will try to put some pictures out of the girls when they were little with their chicks & with Hanna and her new one too.

While trying to prepare for Haley's birthday, the walk in June & the cookbook-I have talked with a very good friend-she is helping me put together items & plan stuff out, she brought some comments and things to my attention today and WOW-you don't know how good/sad it makes me feel to know & hear about Haley & her friends(that they still talk about her & honor her). In someways it hurts to know that Haley is not doing things with all her friends in 8th grade and how it makes me feel sorry not only for Haley, but for ourselves-for missing her so much....but on the same note- my sweet daughter is telling me "Mom, they are my friends FOREVER & I need for you to keep up on them, stay in touch, follow them in their sports, support them through their boyfriends(yes I said boyfriends), be there for them to talk to if they need you & most of all be the friend to them that I need you to be"-very wise young lady she is.....Haley sends messages in different ways to us & I grab at each one of them and hold onto it.

If you have time please stop by Wyattrech/mn aka Bucket's site & read what Kris has typed out there about childhood cancer. Her & Wyatt are headed back to Washington D.C. this week. Prayers are with them for a safe trip & a successful one as well.

Thanks for stopping by Haleygirl's site

Always looking UP
Angel Haley's family forever

Saturday, February 24, 2007 11:55 PM CST

**Extra prayers for Haley's friend Kayla as we have found out that she is going in for surgery this Tuesday-we pray that the procedure goes well, they get done what they need-that there is NO sign of cancer, courage & Faith for Kayla to be strong and that she rebound from this surgery in a timly manner. Hugs to all the Gushards

It has snowed & it is beautiful!! It is a wet snow, so the trees are covered-I told Hanna we will have to get some pictures in the morning. Kevin is out scooping the town, so I thought I would take a couple minutes before us girls climb into bed.

Not much really is new around here-missing Haley/trying to think of all kinds of different ways to honor her, continue to do what we feel is right for Hanna & grow in our Faith. Our lives will once again be a little different if we could just sell our 14 plex we have and focus on what I feel is the more important things in life. Haley has taught me so much & I really feel that I could spread the word another way.

Please stop by a couple sites-Kyle/ia as the get close to the one year aniversary of sweet Kyle earning his wings, jakieboy/ne & read Kellie's update about childhood cancer-it will make you mad & sick(this is why it is VERY important to be a part of the childhood cancer walk they are putting together on June 9th in Omaha)!!! As I had indicated I will talk with Sandy & get a team together for Haley. So many kids need extra prayers, please just bend a knee for all of them & Thank God for your healthy children that you have right now, cuz anything could happen & I mean anything.

I pray daily for Haley & all the little boys & girls that are with her, daily for those family that our moving forward in life without their sweet child & for those who are still in treatment or in remission. God be with us all. I have extra prayers for Hanna-that people will stop using her sister as a trophy-Hanna more than anyone wants for her friends and others to talk about Haley, but please don't use it as a weapon & please don't judge Hanna or be jealous of her for any reason......Believe me when I say she would switch places with you in an instant! Without making this a chat line or hurting feelings, I'm sure I got my point across. I miss seeing, talking and being around Haley's friends and their parents. I try to at least take in one game of their season(I would love to get in more, but it just hasn't worked out).

I will update again soon, with some additional information on the "Haley's Helping Hands" mission coming up-that includes the Easter Baskets for children in the hospital(for Haley's 14th birthday), the team for the walk on June 9th and the cookbook of course!!

Ya Gotta Believe
Angel Haley's family forever

Wednesday, January 31, 2007 9:09 PM CST

This Valentine is not of the ordinary kind,
Its still filled with love…and blessing inside;
But mine has to be sent on the wings of love…
You see its destination is the Heavens above.

It’s not being sent to my parents so dear,
For they are still with me each day of the year;
It’s being sent to my child…, who left earth so soon,
Who’s now in Heaven with the stars and the moon.

The message is the same as your Valentine,
“I Love you…my sweet precious child of mine;
My love is still deeper than the ocean is blue,
And it’s sent with hugs and kisses…from me to you.”

“I know you are with me each and everyday,
You listen as I talk to you…and hear what I say;
For that is one thing that disease cannot do…
You’ll always be a part of me…and me a part of you.”

“I know God did not give you this awful disease,
Thank Him for His comfort He gives me…would you please?
I don’t know what I would do without His undying love…
Sent to bereaved parents from the Heavens above.”

“I know you are in the best of care,
But it’s so hard for us left on earth to bear;
Could you put in a request from us left behind…?
For God to send the knowledge…so a cure we can find.”

“So that no other family has to go through this pain,
Our lives without you will never be the same;
When I get lonely I will look to the sky at night…
And see you shining down your BIG bright light.”

“Happy Valentines Day sunshine…I miss you so much,
I know you know how many lives you have touched;
You’ll always be mine…I love you with all my heart,
I know we will be together again… and then we’ll never part.”

So you see the meaning is still the same…
The method of delivery is the only change;
Mine must be sent by a little white dove…
“On the wings of Love.”

**enjoy the new pictures**

Here it is almost February 1st....when I close my eyes I always flip back a couple years-I lost 2006 and always refer to 2004/2005. So much has happened & who knows what the future will hold. Missing our sweet Haley is such a terrible feeling, but being connected through pictures is something I will always have. Hanna is doing SUPER in school.....4.0 & going strong-we are so very proud of her.

Several things I want to talk about with the little bit of time I have. Couple big things are that we were called by some friends whose business wanted to make a donation/contribution, so I gave them some ideas and they have selected to help us out a little with "Haley's Helping Hands Easter baskets and with Cooking up a Cure for Childhood Cancer cookbook in honor of Haley". We are so very excited & Thankful for friends to reach out and continue to want to help in someway. I will post more as we get closer to both of these events.....The other is the 2nd annual Childhood cancer walk for CureSearch, two wonderful mothers have choosen to organize this event again this year-we have been asked if they could use Haley's picture and yes of course they can.....please mark your calendars for June 9th in Omaha(more details to come), I think if Haley's friends are up to it & Sandy motivates me-we will probably form a team, have t-shirts, set up a table with an activity or something. Email me when we get closer if you would like to know more about this.

God & Haley continue to work their magic with us and I just know that we as a family can make a difference for others in need.

Thanks for all the support and sign in's, we love to read them.

YaGottaBelieve
Angel Haley's family forever & ever

Sunday, January 14, 2007 1:26 PM CST

It really seems like forever since I have typed an update. I truly understand where Paula(Angel Kyle's Mom comes from when she indicated that she would stop updating his site on his 1 year marking of becoming an Angel), as much as people care, it just seems to get tougher on our side somehow-I don't have anything new to type about Haley & that was the purporse in starting this webpage in the first place. We miss our sweet girl SO much, somedays you can hide the pain & others I'm not sure what I'm doing & why?

2 years ago as most of you know.....this month held so many events-MAW trip to Disney/good not so good?, followed by events where Haley was placed in the hospital/sick, her Celebration of Life which by far was OVER the top-this is a day that can NEVER be taken away from us & let me tell you, if you weren't able to be there-WOW, so many friends put something Magical together-I look at the pictures and just cry my eyes out....when we ask a few friends to put this together, we would have never imagined this to be such a Wonderful day & so many people came to share-Haley was feeling well & was probably one of the very last ones there !!! What a way to show Haley how many people care & loved her. This magical day followed by the meeting of Toby Keith & going to his concert(Me deleting a couple hundred pictures from the digital from Christmas in Colorado & our MAW trip-never to be recovered) and of course our journey & Miracle in Memphis.

I continue to thank God for his precious child/kids he gave us "Haley & Hanna", they are the meaning of love, laughter & life. I know that as we continue to grow in our Faith, we are looking at ways to make a difference for other families and children(We will be putting together baskets in honor of Haley's birthday again this year), we look forward to the continued signs from Haley in knowing that she is keeping busy until we get there.

I need so bad to get Hanna hooked up with Haley's friends-they have wanted to get together for 2 months now-it will happen & I hope soon.

Our family sends many Thanks to each of you & just want you to continue to look at life in the way these sweet Angel's have had to....one moment at a time, as each day is truly a gift & carry the motto "YaGottaBelieve"

Thanks for stopping by & I hope you enjoy the newer pictures we are sharing.

Angel Haley's family forever

Sunday, December 31, 2006 12:12 AM CST

Let it snow....Let it snow....Let it snow !!! Wanting to wish you all a Happy New Year in 2007, may you continue to be blessed with good health, family togetherness & above all your continued growth in "Faith in our Lord Jesus"-without this we have nothing. I will update later today on how this past month has went, as for our Christmas etc. Thanks for stopping by and enjoy some of the newer pictures I put out here.

Reaching out and Celebrating in his NAME

Thursday, December 13, 2006 11:20 PM CST

Happy Birthday Jesus on this December 25th & Merry Christmas Haleygirl-may this day be filled with the laughter and love of so many little friends of yours that are there with you(continue to sing, play, dance & teach those little boys & girls). We miss you so much & this has been very hard on us, Thank you so much for NEVER complaining while going through treatment and living what I call a "living hell"-you were stronger than most could see & you were the silent Angel that carried us through it all, now more than ever we need you still sweetie! May you be comforted by those you are with & may you offer joy & comfort to all those that are there with you. On this day, we have cried, laughed & talked of you SO much-I/we miss you sweet girl. Celebrate the birth of Jesus in a large way and continue to teach us sweetie. Hugs & Kisses~Forever & ForAlways!!!

**Always Believing**

Christmas Without You

The lights are blinking merrily
The tinsel’s on the tree
It sits there in the window
For all the world to see.

The house is filled with holly
And pinecone scents the air
The Christmas cards keep coming
Each one is hung with care.

The gifts are tied with ribbons red
And topped with pretty bows
I’m done with all the details
As far as Christmas goes.

The fire is softly glowing
I think about your touch
But Christmas isn’t Christmas
I miss you oh, so much.

If I could have just anything
My Christmas wish would be
To wake up in the morning
And find you here with me.

Staring at your picture
I long to be set free
Tonight the tears are streaming
As I hold it next to me.

Flakes of snow swirl through the air
I’m braced for stormy weather
I wait for brighter days ahead
When we can be together.

So hold a place in heaven
Someday when life is through
I’ll be the Christmas angel
Who shares this day with you.

The days are getting much tougher...just opening a Christmas card makes me cry. I honestly think this year is harder than last. We have almost NOTHING up and have no real plans yet.

Tis the season

Sunday, December 3, 2006 5:37 PM CST

***Stop by our sweet Angel friend jakeowen/la & see what he sent his parents......his Mom hit the BIG one & won $4.4 million!!!!!! What an amazing story:)

See below...Light a candle this Sunday, December 10th!!!!!

**Thank You Britt for the memory of the movie & the popcorn(I can picture Haley's face as I sit here)Big smile:)!! I would love to hear more memories from others-it has been almost 18 months since our sweet Angel earned her wings & it is so fresh/raw & hurtful. I know that many times we see people, we do our best to smile & carry on, but within it hurts so bad. To never hold, touch, talk with physically, hear, laugh, run, skip, cuddle, cook, swing, swim, watch tv/movies, shop etc. together again-Wow that is something that you can't feel unless you live the pain. It makes it a little easier to handle-when people share their memories of your sweet child. Haley, loved telling stories of her friends at school/church and I hope to share those stories with those individuals in the years to come-I know that I have special pictures and writings from Haley talking about her friends. Thanks again Britt for sparking not only the memory of the movie(which was a fun day), but for making me enjoy other memories as well.**

As I said a couple weeks ago, I finally got this picture thing worked out, so I will be changing pictures often-so stop by to view:)

******Candle lighting this coming Sunday, December 10th to remember kids who have earned their wings******* Please take note to light a candle at 7:00 pm to honor our sweet Angels. If you have not lost a child yourself-you are reading this website so I know that you know of Haley but not only have you went through Haley's journey-since we started this website for Haley-we have shared the names of so many others(this was one of Haley's many wonderful caring ways-to always ask for prayers for others and share their stories by providing their website on hers-I truly think that we have been successful, when I read of some of the families who now know of each other-I think that it might be because of this special Angel Haleygirl), I will list the Angel's that come to mind(I'm sure I'm going to miss some). Brock, Mason, Savannah, Josh, Brooke, Kyle, Brooke, Jessica, Addie, Skylar, Schuyler, Josh G, Cameron, Jacob, Star, Morgan, Jake, Andrew, Lowri, Lauren, Patrick, Diego, Mamie, Hailey, Ethan, Hanna Jon and sweet Haleygirl. Like I said...I know that I have missed children that our very dear to me & our family-God knows that it doesn't matter if it has been 4 weeks, 4 years etc since you have let your sweet child go home to heaven...it hurts and is very painful-we send many blessings to each family in the days ahead and not only light a candle this Sunday for Haley, but for so many children!!!! Everyday is difficult, but the holidays add extra pain in the void that we deal with and the decisions to make for the remaining sibling/siblings for some-how do we know as parents if we are giving/providing what they need.

In God we Trust
Angel Haley's family

Thursday, November 30, 2006 10:10 AM CST

I always feel like I want to update & than when I get ready-I just don't have that same feeling & am not really sure what to type about. I know with time it will get easier to type or we will only update once a month on the 21st or something.

A couple quick things.....earlier this month Wyatt's family was so thoughtful to drive over night to come speak at our church and it was GREAT!! Kris did a Super job talking about CureSearch, Wyatt & so many other children. We were able to raise $350.00(take note we are a small church)-I think this is Wonderful!!! We spent a little time, with Josh's family-watched Jess play Volleyball, visited Diane at Target & than had dinner at Val's:)

Hanna's birthday & Thanksgiving were fine, we really don't know what to do and just look at it in different eyes. Took in some movies and ate out-just what we needed:) This magical #12 for Hanna of course sparks some very mixed emotions-Miss Haleygirl was 12 years old when she earned her wings and I know that weights heavy on our hearts, because once Hanna hits 12 yrs, 2 months and 11 days-everything from that point forward will continue to hold a different feeling. A couple special things were all the balloons Hanna got a school & the Beautiful Roses!!! Thanks so much for thinking of Hanna.

A couple dates to remember, December 1st-Angel Josh earned his wings(2 years ago), December 8th-Angel Brooke earned her wings (1 year ago)-take note that these 2 Angel's are Wilms tumor children that were treated at the same time with Haley & at the same hospital. God be with their families in the days to come. Please say extra prayers for Tanner's family, she is undergoing some addt'l radiation for new tumors they have located in her brain. Tough decisions they face each day. Tough little girl who has some of the same spunk that Haley did-as Kellie & Steve said "she is a little more tomboy & crazy than little Miss Haley". Keep on Keepin on Tanner & family-thinking of you always.

Need to run for now, please know how much I want to sign other guest book & keep up on everyone, it has just been so hard lately.

**Emily-Thank you SO much for the gift we got in the mail-you are so true-those are more than stars at night!!! Those ARE our precious Angel's watching over us!! Love you sweetie

YaGottaBelieve
Angel Haley's family

Wednesday, November 22, 2006 2:40 PM CST

**I finally got the picture thing to work, so I put a new/different set of the girls in the album**

Just a short update to wish each of you a very Happy Thanksgiving.....I'm really not sure we know what we are doing.....that doesn't seem to come real easy anymore. Otherwise-I really wanted to take a minute to Wish our sweet daughter/sister "Happy 12th Birthday Hanna".....may this day & the days ahead be filled with happiness sweetheart....I know that there is nothing we can give or get you to make your wish come true, but always remember "you are one in heart".....wrapping you in our arms sweetie, holding you tight & loving you so much. Hanna's birthday is on November 26th-she shares this birthday with a very special friend/Kristi T.-the girls softball coach & friend of our family-Thanks to the TeKolste family for the balloons that they sent Hanna at school:)!!!

Take the time to appreciate what you have & the little things in life!!!

God Bless

Saturday, November 11, 2006 7:20 PM CST

Hey everyone this is Hanna,
Today is dad's birthday!!! No birthday's are ever the same with out Haley here. Today is going to be a hard day for dad.Tonight we took dad to Mamisata's for dinner. He got really full. Thanks for stopping bye. Keep an eye on Wyatt. His birthday is the 14, stop by and tell him Happy Birthday, He is turning 5!!!
Thanks,Hanner Nanner

Hello everyone, Thanks for stopping by-sorry we haven't typed for a little while. I have several things to talk about, where we have been, Lizzie's service, Wyatt/Ali/Kris coming down to speak at our church for Childhood Cancer etc.(so I will be back to talk about all that). But our main goal was to type "Happy Birthday to Kevin," as Hanna said no day is the same/let alone a birthday or holiday. It really does suck living this life and after going to Lizzie's service, that has stirred up so many more emotions. It is just not fair...

Kevin-Heavenly Hugs from your sweet Angel & Hanna, may this day be filled with memories.

Thanks Again for stopping by & I will update more soon.

Hugs & Prayers to all CB families
Angel Haley's family

Saturday, October 28, 2006 5:00 PM CDT

**Update Sunday, October 29th AM....Angel Lizzie has earned her wings, this sweet girl is no longer in any pain** We love you Strattons

Please bend a knee for Lizziegirl/ne and her entire family. They are being faced with such terrible struggles and watching their sweet Lizzie go through so much pain. God be with them!!! I have placed the slideshow that I put together of the girls awhile back out here, I hope that it brings some comfort to the situation and just knowing that true friendship will always be there.

Haley continue to work your magic sweet girl, I know that you have been very busy and worried. Continue to take care of all those little boys and girls with you. Play cards, sing, dance, smile etc the list goes on & on honey. The pain of you not being here has not gotten easier, I think we just learn to hide the emotions, because most would say come on now....it's been long enough and you should be moving forward-well that we are moving forward to the future & living in the past(memories). We love you sweet thing-we feel your presence in everything we do. Hugs & Kisses

Tuesday, October 17, 2006 12:51 AM CDT

**Update as of Friday, October 20th....Please bend a knee for our sweet friend Lizziegirl/ne, she and her family needs extra prayers tonight & the days ahead.**

Please stop by and visit the site of a very brave young lady that we met a couple years or more ago in Omaha-they had moved here from California for treatment. http://www.tannerville.com/
Tanner reminds me alot of Haley with her don't get me down attitude and not afraid to tackle what next, she will be going in for another brain surgery on October, 31st-please let her family know you are thinking of them.

Thanks for stopping by Haleygirl's site. We have been some what busy lately. Missing our sweet girl something terrible, trying to live each day as she would like us to do, keeping up with Hanna's schedule, praying for so many other children & their families, working and trying to deal with the rental properties(trying to sale a 14 plex unit if anyone is interested or knows of someone who might be let me know).

Prayers continue to go out to each CB family that we have met & to those we know only through the websites. Each day some one hears the news that their child has cancer, they hear the news that their chemo hasn't worked & the scans show new growth, the results of labwork and surgeries and of course those results that there is nothing more we can do!!! Others do hear some more positive results, but continue to live each day with the fear of the unknown. These children & families live their forever days in a daze!! And those of us who have lost our sweet child to this terrible disease, have just a couple options-we can forever live in the past, live in denial, move forward and try to do what is best for our family including our sweet Angel, count the days till we get to see one another again, or live with the anger that we hold inside. Well, I will just let you know I do all of these options….day to day is something different. I thank God, Haley & Hanna for giving me the strength to rise each morning & the greatest gift to be their Mom. Extra prayers for sweet Lizziegirl/ne-nothing more can be said that "Amazing", stop by and read her journal, look at her family pictures and leave her and her family a note…..we love you Lizzie & the entire Stratton family. Birthday wishes this week to a sweet little girl by the name of Laurelrose/sc, stop by and send her birthday wishes-she has been so supportive of our family and to so many others.

We were blessed with hangin out with part of the Rech family & friends this weekend. Hanna, Angel Haley & myself headed to Worlds of Fun to have some Fun. I have lots of pictures to share, it was so rewarding to Hanna-she had a ball on the little kid rides with Wyatt, as well the Big kid rides with the girls & Carter. Please take the time to stop by wyattrech/mn and let him know that you are sending extra prayers for his visit this Wednesday(tomorrow). Wyatt on the side note we just wanted to say "I dare you" and "Freak out" !! Thanks for allowing us to hang out with you guys, we had a Great time. Campus Life went to Worlds of Fun the same day, so we got to see several kids from our area, Wyatt was blessed with meeting some of them-Brit & Hannah(sorry Sarah-hope your ankle is better)-he slowed down long enough to take a picture with these girls!!!

Well I have talked long enough, please take the time to enjoy each day…it truly is a gift "We live, we love , we forgive and never give up, cuz the days we are living are gifts from above and today we remember to live & to love" Reach out and spread the message.

YaGottaBelieve

Thursday, October 5, 2006 3:59 PM CDT

With this update…there is nothing more than a mother who has been in the shoes of some very close friends….and with that being said-I know how very busy Haley has been (she is always worried about her friends, those she met in person & those she hasn't). Call me a freak or whatever, but I can't begin to tell you how many times a day I reach out and ask not only our Lord, but mainly Haley for strength, help, guidance etc. It just seems so unreal to me that she doesn't look into my eyes or sit next to me, put her arm on my shoulder & say "hey Mom-it is going to be okay"…..but I do feel her presence-with all my request and I know she is truly with us each day. Her job there is very busy I know….she has so many little boys & girls there that need her!!

Most recently she has some very special kids on her mind & in her reach. Her sweet friend Elizabeth "Lizzie" is having such a tough unfair awful battle(not to say that any battle is good), but this young lady is faced each hour with such terrible pain and discomfort that it just makes me close my eyes and relive such terrible emotions. WHY….WHY….WHY?? I apologize to the Stratton family for not being able to do more-the last time we seen Lizzie was when Hanna & I were at the hospital visiting her & see was given the news that she would be getting her Halo back on & the news that they were not sure what more they could do for her. Hanna is at an age & difficult time in this journey, she was so glad that we were there that day & I don't know if she helped the Strattons at all, but boy did they help her-she was able to help her sister's friend in some small way and that meant so much to Hanna!! Now on the other hand of that, it is so very darn tough for Hanna to face this terrible battle with someone so close again…..I have ask her a couple times if she would like to road trip out to Kearney & without trying to hurt feelings, she kinda just avoids my question-I don't feel that I should push her though. She loves Lizzie so much & feels so much for Jessica, Abby & Kaylie. Please stop by Lizziegirl/ne and let them know sweet Haley sent you-offer prayers for their family when you can.

**Update** Little Jake earned his wings, please stop by & leave them a note......Next is a sweet little boy who is fighting the same cancer as Lizzie-mister jakeowen/la, we met him & his mother Staci at the RMH when we were at St Jude. He has such a strong support of family & friends, but believe me when I say….it never hurts to have more support of prayers!!!!! While we were at St Jude(remember how big this place is), we didn't get to meet a lot of families, because we were wrapped in our own little world-trying to figure out what we were doing….but this little boy-what a cutie:)

The other little boy that is doing okay, but of course causing us some GREAT concern is Bucket aka wyattrech/mn-what can I say other than they are part of our family. Wyatt will be going back in for some additional scans soon and we just pray that these Dr's figure out what they are going to do.

Now with me only naming 3 kids that seems so unfair, compared to the 100 of children that we know of by their sites or from Omaha, St Jude etc. I really hate not being able to name you all, so please know if you are reading this right now….you ARE in our prayers & we thank you for stopping by here.

I have been trying to get some good pictures put together of the girls, because this time of year-we just have so many different shots. I know that I have stopped adding some of my-remember when memories…..Haley loved to roast marshmallows(but they couldn't get too dark or see would have to hand them over)-so sometimes she spent more time roasting and only getting to eat a couple!!! The leaves-what child didn't love jumping in the leaves-the girls had so much fun playing around with the leaves and of course something that I just did was made "runza's"-the girls both loved this & Hanna helped me out this weekend(I remember when we were at ST Jude & the Gratopps sent us a special package of Runza to eat while we were away from home), what a wonderful gift.

Thanks for listening to the rumbles & God Bless each of you

Monday, September 25, 2006 5:47 AM CDT

Ya know that I actually have lots of things that I could type about, but don't have lots of time....so I want to make sure & cover our CB friends with loads of prayers. A special note to those families who are living each day like we are without their children with them-it hurts, it sucks, it is a feeling that I would have never imagined I would feel, but I know that trusting in God is really all we have....& if we don't have that where is our future?! Hold onto all those golden memories & face each day with just a little of the strength that our children carry.

Now moving on to those special friends who are in need of prayers.....sweet lizziegirl/ne-stop by let them know you are praying for her comfort, jakeowen/la-such a tough little trooper that has faced the worst in such a short amount of time, stop by and let his family know that Angel Haley sent you. Of course there are so many others, but I haven't been by to check on them.

We are under alot of additional stress, with rental property right now & once those issue seem to calm down-I will update more, Hanna & I will start the cookbook & get back out to more sites to check in on friends.

I have been trying to get Hanna to some school functions, she really enjoys watching the older kids in their sports-she is keeping busy with the couple sports she is involved with & school work. I went to conferences and my superstar is shining:) Thanks to all of Hanna & Haley's friends for being so kind to Hanna-she needs the extra support(each day is so different & will never be the same). We went to the Blue Angels Air show-what a Great site, she really loved all the action(not surprising from a girl who loves motorcross & go-quad's), we finally met Larry the Cable guy in person-what a treat, I will put some pictures out here of that.

Need to run to work, so I will update again soon. Thanks so much for stopping by & the continued support of prayers.

Happy Belated birthday to a special friend Morgan!!! We need to get together sometime soon-Hanna needs to hang out with some special friends of Haley's & you are one of them:)
YaGottaBelieve
The Mathis family

Wednesday, September 13, 2006 2:22 PM CDT

These are the words to a beautiful song that was wrote for Haley & sang by Leonard at her service-I wish I knew how to add the actual song, so that you could hear it....

One More Smile For Haley
Lenard G Eckhardt

Looks out the window and thinks to herself
God if I had wings I’d fly from this hell
She’s twelve years old and hangin’ on to her life
Fightin’ the demons day and night.

Let’s have one more smile for Haley
One more mile and maybe a miracle will come along
Yea just one more smile for Haley
One more mile and maybe all of the pain will be gone.

She’d like to marry that’s one of her dreams
Go off to college when she turns eighteen
She’s just like any other Mom and Daddy’s girl
She just wants a chance in this world

Repeat Chorus:

Bridge:
Come on ev’rybody come together ev’rywhere
Let’s open up our hearts tonight and say a little prayer.

Repeat Chorus:

One More Smile For Haley….

Hope everyone is doing well, we are busy with several different things-haven't been able to check in with our CB families like I would like, so please know we keep you in our prayers constantly. Hugs to all our Angel families-we know what you are going through, it is so very difficult to go through the motions.

Hanna is doing good in school, loves the new building and I guess has been nominated as a "star student"-I'm not sure what that is all about, but will find out more next week at conferences and let you know-whatever it is, we are proud of you Hannagirl. The days without Haley are sometimes so hard to even share your thougths, but yet others we get through. I love to see Haley's friends when I get the chance, but it as well is so hard- I just wanna go back-I feel like we/Haley has been robbed of so much-but I will move forward because of Haley & Hanna & want so much to follow and be apart of Haley's friends lives(in some ways I know that I will be jealous), but Haley would always want me/us to be involved & show our love to these girls. Hanna's friends are being good so far to one another this year-middle school helps spread them out. I will type more in the days to come-I know I have made this short and forgot lots of stuff I'm sure.

Reaching for the Stars & Angels

Saturday, August 19, 2006 9:12 PM CDT

*New slide show*

Welcome back to Haley's site....I last updated a couple days ago & knew that I would want to type something today, if not for you all for myself. Once you have went down the long road with a fight for your life with cancer and lost a child to this terrible disease-so many things change-well let me state that again...EVERYTHING changes. Not a single day goes by where we don't miss Haley, think about the Why's, wonder what if, hold & cherish our memories, think about how Haley's future would have been, school, dates, learns permit, drivers permit, college, marriage, children etc., we do smile and think of ALL the wonderful things that Haley did and continues to do for us. It is not and can't be the same no matter how we look at it.

I clearly remember 3 years ago, as Haley was starting 5th grade-not feeling so good, so I took her to the ER on Wednesday August 13th and told them what was going on, well they didn't see a need to treat her or even really look at her because she wasn't sick at that very moment. She started school & loved being there of course, didn't want to miss any school(perfect attendance is what we were shooting for), well that all changed the morning of Tuesday, August 19th-when I took her in for an ultra sound at 7:00, we finish at around 8:10-Haley had me call the school and ask how late we could still get there & not have it count against her. The hospital indicated that they would get the results to our doctor when they opened up, so off to school we raced(tried to get her to eat something for breakfast but not much sounded good-so I treated her to a donut on the way). Once I got her to school I came back to work, well it wasn't but 15 minutes after I got to work-I recv'd a call from our Dr indicating that they needed to meet with us in person-I told her that I was the only reason Haley had this ultra sound, so she could share the news with me over the phone-well that is exactly what she did....I sat there listening to this women tell me that they found a 12" tumor on Haley's right kidney etc. I had to contact Kevin at home and tell him this terrible news, have him go to school and get our daughter and meet me at the Dr's office. And that is how this whole day started 3 years ago. **Haleygirl you were so very brave on this day honey, I will never forget how you wanted to make sure and take school work with you, so that you didn't get behind. We sat in the back seat on the way to Omaha and tried our best to work on spelling. Thanks for never giving up sweetgirl. **

Now, I'm not going to continue to type about how sad we are and how much we miss Haley, because that is a given and I hope people realize that. What I do feel I need to type is coming from Haley & pretty much her motto-spend quality time with your children, talk with them, listen to them and be understanding. Help guide them in the right direction, give them what they need, but don't over do it(they at some point will have to pay their own way in life & it will be hard if they just expect everything). Teach them to love, laugh and cherish each moment. Stand up for your children when needed-look at the situation you are in & do what is best for your child. Be their parent & yes of course their friend(but not their best friend)-they need you to be there to teach them right from wrong. Haley & Hanna have never been of any trouble to us, we sit down in the evenings and talk with one another-eat at the table together, tuck them into bed etc. I will never regret any of that and I hope that the girls truly cherish them moments. Find your Faith, Find your path and live it...don't let the day go by without being Thankful for something-each one of us have something to be Thankful for.

The past month has gone by & I never updated much about it. Hanna played on 2 different teams for softball, her Firth team took 1st place(this is the team that both girls would have been on). She finished the season with her other team, minus her last game & has since tried out for a different team that she made the try-outs for-she was so excited to know that they selected her for her talent & what she showed them that day-we are very proud of you Hanna!! She has since taken up the love of for motorcross as well-so I'm not sure if she will compete in this next year as well. FYI-she went back to school & loved it, I was worried she might be a little reserved and yes I realize we have only had 2 days, but she really is enjoying it-Thanks teachers & friends:)

As I always indicate Thank you for checking in on us, continue to face each day with the what if attitude. If you can't stop by each child's site and leave a journal that is fine, just include a children and their families that are fighting, in remission and those who have a special Angel and void in their home. Thinking of you all always.

Prayers to my Dad, as he had his knee replaced this week,with some additional complications due to his heart.

Reaching for the STARS
The Mathis family

Wednesday, August 16, 2006 9:36 PM CDT

Hold on tight, because I think I might be in the mood for along entry(that's what I get for not typing something sooner). 1st off-I don't really remember what I left off with but, I will start with a couple remember when's of the girls. With school starting tomorrow, I can't help but talk about that-the girls used to go to the daycares that I worked at when they were younger, what a joy to get paid a little money, but have your girls right there with you. I remember the fun swim days we would set up, the "bring your bike/trike to school days", the fun activities, songs, field trips & crazy things we used to do(those are memories that only I shared with them). One that I know Anisa will know of-since I shared it was Jared Tomich was attended UNL & his girlfriend at the time was one of Haley's teacher-Jared would come to pick her up & bring their Iguana"Phil", they always tried to get Haley to hold it & I would say-yuck stay away from her with that thing.....well Jared & Lisa did it and of course called my name-when I turned around her was sweet little Haley 3 years old with this Iguana sitting on her shoulders!!! They took a picture-I don't know if I ever got a copy of not, but that picture is locked in my mind 4-ever! I remember Haley's 1st day of school-the bus pulled up in the afternoon, I'm already to get her picture and it was taking a little time for her to get off, she come running across the street & it looked like she was crying-which just broke my heart(my sweet first born girl crying), well she was-she knew no one on the bus & had fallen asleep, they startled her when they woke her up & she was SO happy to see us standing there waiting. Believe me when I say that it was so much different for Hanna with Haley ALWAYS there to protect her. I miss those days terribly bad.

2ndly to all those families & I mean all of you that we do not name by individual name or sign your guestbook very much or at all, we pray for you daily-there is such a huge growth in the number of not only kids being diagnosed but adults alike everyday.....I know that the future will only get worse, because we are looking for this lucky pill or treatment & the cure that we need, when what we need to focus on is the CAUSE!!! In all reality(my opinion only), we are all looking in the wrong direction-I know that Haley will guide me soon I hope to my purpose here on Earth, but I truly feel that it is the cause that we need to look at. But with all that being said, it doesn't change the fact that we are so grateful to Children's, St Jude, Mexico etc, and that we pray daily for some many children we have met once or never. You and your families are true HERO's-may God reach out to you each and everyday. Please take the time to stop by lizziegirl/ne and wyattrech/mn-these are just two of Haley's friends that need extra prayers. Joey, Abby, Hannah etc from our local hospital-these are just a couple names of children we have met since Haley became an Angel, but I know that there is a connection with these families along with so many others that we have met-Charlie/Morgan, Jakieboy, Josh, Tanner etc. These do not include the children from all over the country.

I'm going to wrap it up shorter than what I thought but will be back very soon-August 19th probably. Besides for April 10th 1993 & November 26th 1994-August 19th 2003, was one of those days that changed our lives 4-ever. I have so many emotions going on, but have so much that I want to type about-yes, I know it is nothing really new since Haley is not here personally, but I just want to reach out some way.

Thanks for listening & following our story as always. Take the time truly each day to realize that each day there is too many families that lives will change forever. We have learned many lessons over the past 3 years and some of them being as recent as this past month, but it never amazes me to think-don't feel sorry for yourself because there is always someone out there is worse shape than you.

YaGottaBelieve
Kevin, Patti, Angel Haley & Hanna

Sunday, August , 2006 10:54 PM CDT

I will update....I don't know what is wrong with me & why I haven't been on here to do that in forever.... I/we wanted to piggyback the Strattons & wish Anisa a Wonderful Birthday-as well as that crazy Rob(Child Life) from 6th floor. We hope that you both enjoyed your day.

Extra prayers for Lizziegirl/ne & her family-stop by her site & you will see what I mean-truly touched by an Angel is not enough for words. Wyattrech/mn-Bucket extra prayers are being sent to you & the family over the next 4 weeks-waiting to see what steps are coming our way next. Hugs to all

More to come soon
Patti

Monday, July 10, 2006 5:26 AM CDT

Thinking of what type of an update I would like to get out here & really I don't have much to say, but I will do my best:

1st off, if you haven't had a chance would you/could you PLEASE stop by our friend Lizziegirl/ne site & offer her some encouraging words-send her some quotes, scrapbook supplies or join in make a page and mail it to her at the following address-10 East 36th Street Kearney, NE 68847.I know that her & her family would love to get different pages, supplies etc and really there is no better time than now. Thanks for helping out with this.

2ndly, we continue to ask for prayers for ALL of our warrior friends-each family faces something different each day that you would not & could not imagine-the recent news of their child having cancer, current effects from treatment, the waiting game on the results of scans, the unknown factor of what they call relapse, the side effects from the treatment and those families like ours that live each day somewhat in the past (the memories) and try to focus on the future, there is no one day that is the same-your emotions change like the weather and the loss/void can not be filled, no matter how hard you try to tell yourself-do what ya gotta do. I know that children like Haley have taught those of you who have not been physically down this road to look at each day differently & I'm Thankful for that, but it doesn't bring my daughter back-so with that being said truly live each day and hold/cherish each moment.

A couple more memories that I would like to share is that of the girls-how I remember Haley's 2nd Christmas & Hanna's first Christmas, we waited to get those wonderful pictures taken for 5 hours (Hanna was one week old)…..oh my I don't miss not taking the girls in for that stuff-I truly appreciate the pictures that you capture on the digital or 35 mm camera anyway. Haley always had a baby doll at hand when she was younger vs. Hanna always having a dog in hand. Haley loved to watch Banana's in Pajamas(a 30 minute tv show) and of course Barney!!! She loved to help in the garden, the kitchen, sing and watch the fish in the fish tank. These of course our just a few things, I will share more later.

We have been doing what it takes to keep busy, we got to spend some time with Wyatt, Ali and Kris Rech while they were back & we met up with Steve, Diane & Jess Brestel (Angel Josh's family). We really had a nice time-we took in a great fireworks show & soaked up every minute of Wyatt's aka/bucket's energy!!!!

Not much else really going on with us-we continue to send many thanks to those who take the time to read these updates & come back to see what's going on with us……I still need to get some new pictures put in a slide show, so hopefully that will happen sometime soon.

YaGottaBelieve
The Mathis 4

Monday, June 26, 2006 6:07 AM CDT

**Hanna & I got a few new pictures put in the photo album-sorry for the size, we'll keep working on it. We as well will try to get a slide show put together.**

Wow, all that I can come up with for words is "Thank You". You are all so wonderful, the memories of Haley were exactly what I was looking for and your entries just made me smile/cry & sit and recall some of my very own memories. I will start each update with a special memory or two of Haley & Hanna as they were growing up, so that you are able to know the girls before diagnosis & after. It is nice to know that even though Haley is not physically here with us, you are still coming by to check her website (she has a way of continuing to push us & you forward). We were asked if we were doing anything special on the 21st, balloon release, candle lighting etc. And after a long decision-I thought it was best for us to avoid this (I know it is summertime lots of people gone/busy etc. and I would hate for the feeling of just a handful of people to show up), so I had the day off, we spent it together & ended up doing 2 of Haley's favorite things….can you guess? Swimming at the Harrops & eating at Mamsita's(Mexican food)-I know that Halz was with us all day long. Believe me when I say that I know it is just as hard on her being away from us as it is us being away from her.

I would like to take this time to ask Haley's followers/friends to stop by her friend Lizzie's site. Lizzie is one of those girls that steals your heart from the very first moment and her & Haley became very good friends (they really had a lot in common, not just the disease). Lizzie continues to type updates herself & they just melt your heart-listen to her words, the other is that her Mom just typed an update that we right along with them were praying would never need to be typed……she needs support NOW more than ever-she gets on her site each day & is encouraged by what you have to say….so please if you can find a couple minutes each day-let Lizzie know that her special friend Haleygirl sent you her way & that you are praying for her!!! Thanks so much for helping us out….lizziegirl/ne-we love you sweetie!!! A second family member of ours is Wyatt (aka Bucket), his family has become part of ours & we have way too many things in common-please take the time to stop by his site as he is going back in for addt'l scans this week. We were blessed with meeting this family in person at Angel Josh's service in December 2004 & have met several times since then. This little sweet boy, puts a smile on our face every time we visit with him on the phone-we need to lift not only him up in prayer this week, but his family-just to be sure that he gets the "ALL CLEAR" message, please visit him at wyattrech/mn. YaGottaBelieve

As for a couple of my own memories…..I remember back when Haley was born (rainy 2 weeks, took lots of pictures to find out we had no film in the camera-how sick is that?) she was such a precious thing, she was perfect of course. She was always so content (didn't cry much at all) and her first babysitter Debi would have told you this-she was an Angel !!! The one thing that probably isn't hard for you to imagine is that she almost always smiled…..she loved the water, being outside (I remember like it was yesterday, we would be outside enjoying the wonderful air & I would sing "I got you babe" to Haley!! She grew so fast and yet was such an easy child for us first time parents!!! Her 1st Halloween she was a cute little lamb-"Behold the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world." (John 1:29). When it came time for her to be a Big sister-Hanna truly captured Haleygirl (they were about 19 months apart), she loved that little sister, she always wanted to help with her. I remember when Hanna was born-My Mom came to watch Haley on Saturday, November 26th (as we told her we were going shopping for Haley for Christmas-once she got to our house we told her that we were going to have our second little baby), once Hanna was born Haley came in to the hospital-she was still pretty young, but she knew exactly what that little girl meant to her-she left with Kevin that night & went home (snowing outside & they had two dogs at home to take care of)-it was very hard that night to have Haley go home with Kevin, after that she didn't sleep away from home from years to come. I remember bringing them home from Daycare - Haley got in the groove of watching the Lion King movie-couldn't wait to get home to sit down & watch it over & over (at the time it was helpful, so that we could get a few things done ourselves). She would sit right next to baby Hanna in her swing & give us the updates constantly-Mommy "the baby needs you-she is sad, Mommy-she is hungry, Mommy-she needs her diaper changed" the list goes on. Well, I'm going to leave you hanging, for more updates on the girls in my next updates.

As, I indicated-Thank you so much for those who continue to pray for our family & constantly are reminded to live each day differently because of Haley. Take the time each day to have those moments of "What if", what if my child was taken from me, what if I wake tomorrow & everything I have is gone…..etc. Those are the moments (like I told my cousin), that hopefully Haley has taught you to realize, but not make yourself sick over, but that you enjoy the moments you get each day and treasure them "That's what it's all about".

Hanna has kept busy with attending "Art camp" with Jenn & Will-she had so much fun & I can't wait to pick up her projects. She attended a softball, pitching/catching clinic one week and now is just down to handful of games left. Before we know it she will be starting school again-Wow does time go? Hanna is starting to scrapbook a little more (I think this is a good tool for her to deal with her emotions), so if you have any good ideas, send her an email at hannam9@alltel.net. Special Thanks to Julie, Evan & Anne-Hanna had so much fun with you guys, Thanks for all your efforts in looking after her !!!

I am starting to put a few things together for our cookbook, we want to make it as easy as we can with the intent that we will collect recipes from all over the USA & addt'l countries, so I will try to have a site set up that you can type your recipe in & submit it to us.

We continue to pray for those families who are still in treatment, those in remission, those who have lost their battle & to those families who have not yet experienced something like this physically, but have followed our story and others.

LiveSTRONG
The Mathis Family

Monday, June 19, 2006 7:24 AM CDT

Father's Day went okay-We didn't do much & that is okay with me. Once church was over & we got home-Hanna gave Kevin his gifts, pretty low key-but pictures are something that we will always have and cherish so much. The one is of a poem called "Walk with me Daddy" and I place a picture of Kevin, Haley & Hanna walking on the beach in California last year-it is priceless!!! I remember last year on Father's Day how we went to Kathy & Bobby's pool and got in for a little bit, than jumped over to the hot tub.

Last year on this Monday-we headed to Lincoln for counts, Haley had her favorite "Taco Inn" for lunch, went and picked up a love seat from Grandma's so that Haley might be able to get a little more comfortable sitting at home, got home at around 4:30 and who in their right mind knew what was headed our way that evening, sitting together talking and watching a movie. The pain of looking back sucks, but it is the only thing that I can do, because when I look forward it hurts just as bad. I know that my future in Heaven will be wonderful though and that is the only thing that keeps us moving forward. Hanna did have a couple melt downs this weekend-we walked out of a store and before I could get to the car, I could hear her in the parking lot!! Not a pretty site, poor thing is taking it all in at her own pace-she misses Haley something terrible.

As, Haley would say-please think of her tomorrow as hopefully you did today, but instead of crying your eyes out-hold you chin & head up & say let's live life the Haley way. If you get a chance(I know that we don't have lots of visitors anymore, but to those who check in), could you sign in & let me know what one of your favorite memories of Haley is. The following is a poem that I thought kinda says it all:

If Tomorrow Starts Without Me

If tomorrow starts without me, and I’m not there to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes all filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn’t cry the way you did today,
while thinking of the many things we didn’t get to say.
I know how much you care for me, and how much I care for you,
and each time that you think of me I know you’ll miss me too;

But when tomorrow starts without me, please try to understand,
that an angel came and called my name and took me by the hand,
and said my place was ready in heaven far above,
and that I’d have to leave behind all those I dearly love.

But as I turned to walk away, a tear fell from my eye,
for all life, I’d always thought I didn’t want to die.
I had so much to live for and so much yet to do.
it seemed almost impossible that I was leaving you.
I thought of all the love we shared and all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday, I thought, just for a while,
I’d say goodbye and hug you and maybe see you smile.

But then I fully realized that this could never be,
for emptiness and memories would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things that I’d miss come tomorrow.
I thought of you, and when I did, my heart was filled with sorrow.

But when I walked through Heaven’s gates, I felt so much at home.
When God looked down and smiled at me, from His great golden throne,
He said, "This is eternity and all I’ve promised you,
Today your life on earth is past but here it’s starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow, but today will always last.
and since each day’s the same, there’s no longing for the past.

But you have been so faithful, so trusting, so true.
Though there were times you did some things you knew you shouldn’t do.
And you have been forgiven and now at last you’re free.
So won’t you come and take my hand and share my life with me?"

So if tomorrow starts without me, don’t think we’re far apart,
for every time you think of me, please know I’m in your heart

Thanks for the continued support, you don't know how much it means to us. Happy Father's Day to all those Dad's who are not able to hold their sweet children and to those who are watching their child go through treatment and to those who are praying that their child's remission continue and that the life of the hospital is in the past for them.

Special Thanks to Cherish, Ryan, Easton & Avery-Wow, I thought maybe I was getting new pictures of the kids & did you take me by surprise-I cried so hard at the beautiful card & picture!! Cherish, Thanks for the words that you wrote-You are so true, we are lucky to have been touched by an Angel. Hugs to the kids & you !!

Wyatt-thinking about you, give your Mom a BIG Hug & lots of smiles to distract her for me okay!!!
LiveSTRONG
Kevin, Patti, Angel Haley & Hanna

Friday, June 9, 2006 4:49 PM CDT

I know that it has been awhile since I updated & I know that sometimes I don't really feel that I have much to say, but I promised Haley that I would continue to journal for her and to her. This month is tough-looking back to last year & the year before, plus going to pre-cancer days-June was normally full of exciting things, well that was Haley's last month with us & she truly was faced each day with torture, hell & challenged with her faith-she grew up so fast & was so honest, caring, full of love, thoughtful, funny and much...much more. Sorry for the distance if there is some there, we just don't know how to approach each new day...and wish & pray that we will wake up back to normal-which in a selfish way could even be during treatment(like I said, selfish on my behalf, because I wasn't the one going through the physically torture), but we were able to hold, talk, touch, see Haley everyday.

The Ache We Hold Inside

When these children we loved are taken,
And the years pass slowly by,
You feel the grieving is over.
But the ache is still inside.
This life of ours must continue
And the tears we must learn to hide,
But you know it will never leave you,
This ache we feel inside.
Their siblings go on with their future,
And you know this is how it should be.
You share in their joys and sorrows,
But that ache won't let you free,
Where they rest, you visit less often,
And their voices are not as clear,
And our zest for life is returning,
But the ache is always near,
Our friends and families tell us,
How well we handled our grief,
If they only knew deep within us,
From this ache there is no relief,
When alone we talk to them often,
For we know they are still by our side,
And the warmth of our memories comfort,
But the ache will always abide,
As we continue this earthly voyage,
And the calm and the storms pass by,
We will cherish our precious memories,
And this ache we hold inside.
What's been going on with us lately:
We headed to Omaha to join in for the 1st annual Childhood Cancer Walk put on by the "In Arms of Friends"…..what a GREAT response-we just have to continue to make the awareness of this terrible disease known. No offense, because no type of cancer or loss to your family is easy, but to the loss of your daughter or son is the very worst!!! We kinda kept to our own on that day, not really knowing what to think or say, we hung with Anisa for the walk & talked with Lizzie on the phone while we walked!!! It was so good to see the Survivors there-these kids are HERO's to so many & they don't even realize it, it becomes just there normal routine & life-hats off to them & their parents.

Haley's Comet continues to take her classes & we will be talking with Children's soon to see what all we need to do, so that we are able to come visit with her!! After going through all this, sometimes the hospital is the last place you want to go, but after being there with your child-it becomes so natural. I know that some of you know what I'm talking about-Haley never was all that worried about going there, in the beginning she would get sick everytime we pulled into the parking garage. She enjoyed the wonderful people that she met & trusted in them. So in another way, it would feel good to be able to go back to the hospital & try to make another child smile.

Hanna is attending VBS this week & of course - this year is different & will never be the same without Haleygirl there with her. I'm pretty sure I could tell by her emotions, that she didn't have that great of a time. She is keeping busy with softball, gosh there's another emotional roller coaster. I will try to put together a slide show of the girls & their ball years together. Jen from Silly's has called again & wants for Hanna to be involved in another camp this summer-that will be a lot of fun for them.

We pray daily for those children that are still in treatment, in remission & for those families who are stumbling through each day like we are-God Bless you all !!!

I'm leaving on the note of Garth's song:

Looking back on the memory of, the dance we shared beneath the stars above…For a moment all the world was right, how could I have known you'd ever say goodbye and now I'm glad I didn't know, the way it all would end the way it all would go. Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain, but I'd of had to miss the dance.

Haley sweetheart, we miss you so much, love you more than anyone will ever know & long for the day that I see your beautiful face and hand coming to me saying "Mommy come home" - as you would say sweetie, ya gotta believe to receive & I know that when my time is done here that I will get to come home to be with you forever !!!!

YaGottaBelieve
Kevin, Patti, Angel Haley & Hanna

Thursday, June 1, 2006 1:43 PM CDT

**Prayers are needed for our sweet friend lizziegirl/ne, please stop by her site & leave her entire family a message. This girl & Haley have been such strong friends since they met almost 3 years ago & that will never change. **

As for us, I will update more later, but this month is a haunting month....I can't believe that one year ago-Haley was begging for her life, fighting such a terrible fight & yet at the same time sitting with us each day, making us smile, laughing with us, talking with us, eating with us, playing, swimming & cheering Hanna & her friends on in softball ( supporting the 3 of us-always telling us, that things will be okay-that this cancer is not going to take her life, she indicated that things were getting tougher & shared some other thoughts with us the last couple weeks before June 20/21st). Yes, the same thing she had done for the last 12 years & now as a parent-who looks at a empty seat each night for dinner, the same room that has sit the last year with all of Haley's goodies, the blankness in the vehicle, the emptiness in the movie theatre etc-I know you understand what I'm talking about. It will never be the same & yet at the same time I notice more now than ever, Hanna doing some of the very same things that her big sister did!!! We have always loved our girls so much & it is so hard sometime to even begin to think about what has happened & the rest of our lives here on earth.

Thank you so much for continuing to check back in on us, I'm so sorry I haven't been journaling the way I need to and haven't been by other sites-we pray that each day you are doing okay.

Last Friday, Hanna & I went to Celebrate the life of our sweet little friend Skylarberry/ne, please stop by his site & offer some words of encouragement to his family-I know how very much they miss him. We went and had lunch with Darby & Gavin(Angel Brooke's family) and met another young lady fighting cancer and her family-Abby, she had just received treatment the day before-so she was not able to join us for lunch, but her sister went along with Gavin & Hanna-they let 2 balloons go at Red Robin(I think that they wanted Brooke & Haley to have something to play with that day). It was nice getting to visit with Darby-it seems like it has been forever. We ended up seeing Abby & her Mom @ Children's later & she was feeling a lot better-that was great to see. Stop by Abby's site if you get a chance visit/abbybridgewater. We followed that by a visit to the hospital-Hanna did very well, we stayed with Lizzie & her parents & got to meet Jolie Edwards while there. It was so hard to watch Lizzie be in all that pain & yet smile when she could. We also took advantage of being at the hospital & surprised a couple of familiar faces & friends that took such "GREAT" care of Haley & our family while we came to Omaha. It was so good to see everyone in Radiology-WOW, it really brought back some memories, both good & bad of course-this department treated Haley like a Queen-she had such a good time seeing each of you everytime we came down & everytime we came down she wasn't feeling good or we received bad news-so take that to heart....you guys are the BEST!!!! Thanks for the visit. There was really very few people on 6th floor that we knew, but we did a walk through real quick.

Continue to wrap all kids in your prayers as we head to Omaha for a Curesearch walk this weekend-we will be meeting lots of families that we haven't seen in awhlie.

In God we Trust
The Mathis 4

Wednesday, May 17, 2006 5:56 PM CDT

**May 22nd-Urgent prayers for our sweet friend Skylar, we have ask for prayers for him & his family before, but they are in need of support from all of you at this point. Skylar earned his wings this morning & is now no longer in pain. This is and will be a very hard road for his family and to those who knew Skylar. He always made us smile when seeing him up at Children's, his family was always right there with him & so supportive to other families like ours. Please stop by & leave them a few words skylarberry/ne.** 2ndly, please stop by & leave Jakeowen & his family some words, this little guy we met & St Jude & he is going through some very tough procedures & needs to hear from you. jakeowen/la and 3rdly-sweet lizziegirl-who just returned from a trip & is having some pain, this young lady is such a fighter, she deserves to have prayers from all over to help easy her pain & bring her positive results.

I don't remember what I last updated on, but for some reason-I'm having a harder time now updating than in the past. I'm not sure if any other mothers out there go through this, but when I sit down to type-my eyes fill up with tears, it is hard to catch my breath & I my heart aches. I think that I work so hard everyday to cover up my reality, that when I sit down to type-it hits me that I'm typing an update about my sweet Angel. There is truly NO other pain that compares to this & I know that I try my hardest to show how strong we are, because after watching Haley fight for 2 years.....I have nothing to complain about other than a broken heart!!! I know that some of you feel the same pain & others can witness the struggle of watching your children fight & get through hell each day. I/we miss Haley so much, she & Hanna were everything-everytime I turn around there is a first of something & that is not fair & my heart tells me that it won't matter if it is the first, second, third or tenth....I'm going still miss her so bad and want to talk, touch & feel her.
Skipping ahead tomorrow is the last day of school & 1 year ago-we came back from treatment in Mexico and made it to the last day of not just 6th grade, but Haley's last day EVER in school-god that sucks!!! She was so excited to come be with her friends & teachers-I remember the day like it was yesterday......walking in the door, like she hadn't missed a beat-that sweet girl was/is strong & so true.

Mother's Day was hard of course, just like all the others. I feel so bad for Hanna, because I don't want her to feel that the rest of her life-her Mom will always be sad, so I try so hard to hide my emotions from her as well. Last year, we Celebrated Mother's Day in California & I would have never guessed it to be my last with both of my girls.

I have not been very good about getting out to check on all our CB families-I prayed that each Mom had a nice day on Sunday. As for those who are the mother of a special Angel-I know this year was tough, if it was your 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th etc year-I know that the pain is still there & I feel for each of you & honor you.

Softball has started & that is another one that gets me tore up, the girls have played together for years & I know that Haley is there with Hanna, but not physically there & that is something that is hard to grasp. The coment was ask of me last night-if we were getting back to normal & I know that I could say several things about that question, but what I realize...is that people just do not know what or how to say something, so I understand. There will never be a normal for us & we are all aware of that. Cancer kills normal !!!!! Childhood cancer-takes so much from you & the death of your child-removes & questions so many things, faith, trust, understanding, love, medical care, money, this list goes on. We are trying to make a new normal or whatever it is-if we as a family, can be 1/2 of what Haley was/is-than we have alot of work to be done. I just stumbled on where to get started.

Hanna is doing okay, she really doesn't talk much, or show lots of emotions-so this is kinda scary for us. She I know is analizing lots of things-going into 6th grade(middle school), the last year Haley completed of school, she will turn 12 in November(Haley was 12 years old 2 months & 10 days on June 21st), the fear of the unknown-can knock you down. I pray each day that Haley continue to lift Hanna up and that she watch her closely-just because she is not here physically with us, she is still her Big sister & Hanna needs her. I pray for signs everyday, that Haley will let me know how she is doing & give me some insight on what is yet to come.

I guess I have rambled long enough-God be with each of you in the days to come. Extra prayers goes to those families who are facing tough battles with their children. Skylar & family, we are thinking of you Always-let us know if you need anything-Hanna would love to bring Haley's Comet to visit, if you are ever in the mood for that!!!

One last thing, we will be starting to work on Haley's cookbook & I will want you input...so be looking for some good family traditions-I will be asking if you & your child would like to be involved in different ways, so I may need some pictures & art work okay. I will have you email me later on this.
As Paula(Kyle's mom) would say "Celebrate Life" and do so in remembrance of all the children who have lost their battle here on earth & left so soon

LiveSTRONG
Angel Haley's family

Thursday, May 11, 2006 9:09 AM CDT

***Little Angels***

When God calls little children
to dwell with Him above,
We mortals sometime question
the wisdom of His love.
For no heartache compares with
the death of one small child
Who does so much to make our world,
seem wonderful and mild
Perhaps God tires of calling
the aged to his fold,
So He picks a rosebud,
before it can grow old.
God knows how much we need them,
and so He takes but few
To make the land of Heaven more
beautiful to view.
Believing this is difficult still
somehow we must try,
The saddest word mankind knows
will always be "Good-bye."
So when a little child departs,
we who are left behind
Must realize God loves children,
Angels are hard to find.

To all those parents "Mothers" who are spending this Mother's Day without their sweet child-my heart is there for you-this pain is so real & strong!! The only thing with the poem above is the word "Good-bye"-this is something that Haley would not say......of course she told on the night on June 20 into the morning of June 21st, "see ya later".

Little Haley's Comet started her pre-school/puppy classes last weekend-so look out Children's here she comes-well at least I hope, I still have to work with some connection within the hospital-Anisa/Dr L :)

Prayers to all who are reading this journal entry-we love you.

LiveSTRONG
The Mathis 4

Monday, May 8, 2006 4:30 PM CDT

***Happy Nurses Week-Thanks for all you do & did for our family-We Love YOU***

Thanks for coming by to visit Haley's site & continuing to check in on our family. I know that these updates are not very exciting & are probably boring to most. It is sometimes hard to update, because I want so much to let you know how the girls are doing & give you the low down on everything that is going on.

I had mentioned that I would update a couple things, nothing to crazy-but Hanna & I went to what I call her last carnival, since she will be moving up to the middle school here soon(she may go back to more, but I will not feel the need to have to go now-I started when little Miss Haley started Kindergarten & finished with Hanna's 5th grade year). This year seemed really different of course without Haley there with us, last year the 3 of us went & the girls had a good time-I remember a classmate of Haley's coming up to her & asking her if she had a date to the middle school dance that was taking place later that night-well, let's think about that question??? Not saying, that someone wouldn't have ask her to go, but think about a 12 year old girl who is fighting cancer, wearing a baseball cap & comfy pants……humn-I would say probably not-but I could see the look on Haley's face as she replied "no I don't have a date & I'm not going to the dance-do you/are you????" as this individual walked away, Haley turned to me & said "What was she thinking" & smiled that beautiful smile:) If I were a boy & was younger-I would have jumped at the chance to take or go with her to a dance. So another one of those things/events that she missed out on here on this earth(and makes me feel sad for her-but she is telling me as I type-"Mom, no big deal-I had FUN with Hanna & you that night).

So at this years carnival-I was approached by a women who lives in our town-she indicated that she needed to apologize to me. I'm crossing my fingers praying that someone will come to rescue me, but not a chance-so I must listen to this lady clear her mind to make herself feel better, when all she did for me-was piss me off, make me sad & brought back memories…..She indicated that last summer she was at a neighbors house & she noticed the sheriff arriving at our house, she just assumed she knew what was going on & called a friend of her's to tell her that she thought we lost Haley-when that was not the case, but as small towns go, this got back to some close friends-who got very worried about Haley & our family & came running over….to find Haley sitting up in the chair eating some food at around 11:00 pm. So the lesson here is, never assume you know what is going on & if you are truly concerned, come over yourself & ask, secondly through this whole bringing up this day to me again-I never heard the words "I'm sorry for the lose of your daughter", just more-please listen to me while I make myself feel better!!!

Okay, now moving on to other notes, I can't believe that we are facing 11 months without Haley physically here with us-some days I close my eyes and just search for her-I wait to hear her voice, her giggle, see her smile, feel her HUGE hug & look her in the eyes-oh how much you miss everything. This feeling is terrible and there is nothing I can do about it. We truly feel that Haley communicates to us through her special little "Haley's Comet"-I just know that she makes sure to check in on all of us throughout the day.

Little Hanna-is ready for ball and ready for school to be out. I'm so glad that things have settled down with the girls in here grade, it's too bad that they waited till the end of the year to all get along.

Please make sure to stop by a couple sites and let them know that Haley sent you. Skylarberry/ne-he & his family need to hear from you "Sending prayers to them each day", lizziegirl/ne, leaving for a trip & Celebrating her birthday on May 12th, emily/az-Celebrating her birthday on May 12th as well, jakeowen/la-needing extra prayers always.

Thanks again for stopping by to read about what's going on. Prayers to ALL CB families.

LiveSTRONG
The Mathis family

Tuesday, May 2, 2006 10:44 AM CDT

**Not sure how many of the Nurses that Haley was blessed with knowing, still read this site, but we tip our hats off to you & honor ALL of you on this upcoming Nurses week !!! You truly made each day the best that you could when you were helping Haley-Thanks for all that you do, continue to help all these other children who are faced with this same fight & give them your BEST, they & their families need you. Celebrate Nurses Week May 6th-12th. Love & Hugs, your forever friend Angel Haley

With the Butterflies out here as the background, I just know that Haley is singing a song or two.....these are a couple that came to mind. I know that you all know them, but just for today when you sing them out loud, because I know you will-think of Haley & these other sweet CB friends/family members of ours. Sending Hugs to Heaven everyday sweetie !!!

I'll Fly Away

Some glad morning when this life is o'er
I'll fly away! (got to fly away)
To a home on God's celestial shore
I'll fly away! (got to fly away)

Chorus:
I'll fly away (got to fly away), oh glory!
I'll fly away (got to fly away)
When I (when I), I die (I die), hallelujah by and by (oh hallelujah by and by)
I'll fly away! (got to fly away)

Just a few more weary days and then
Oh I'll fly away (got to fly away)
To a land where joy shall not end!
I'll fly away (got to fly away)

Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson

Grew up in a small town
And when the rain would fall down
I'd just stare out my window
Dreamin' of what could be
And if I'd end up happy
I would pray

Trying hard to reach out
But, when I tried to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I'd pray
I could break away

[chorus]
I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky
And I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change
And break away
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But, I won't forget all the ones that I love
I'll take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And break away

[verse 2]
Wanna feel the warm breeze
Sleep under a palm tree
Feel the rush of the ocean
Get onboard a fast train
Travel on a jetplane, far away
And break away

[chorus]
I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky
And I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change
And break away
Out of the darkness and into the sun
I won't forget all the ones that I love
I gotta take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And break away

[bridge]
Buildings with a hundred floors
Swinging round revolving doors
Maybe I don't know where they'll take me
But, gotta keep moving on, moving on
Fly away, break away

[chorus 2]
I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye, gotta
Take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And break away
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But, I won't forget the place I come from
I gotta take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And break away

Breakaway
Breakaway

Thanks for the continued prayers of support for our family, each day is a new challenge & lots of things to juggle. Please say an extra prayer for all our friends and those of you who have sweet children at home, think of just for today I will love you with all my heart & hug and hold them tight.

I will update on the carnival & May Day within the next couple days. I have some interesting stories to share about them.

YaGottaBelieve
Kevin, Patti, Angel Haley & Hanna

Thursday, April 27, 2006 1:02 PM CDT

Sharing a little something that I had gotten awhile ago. We are trying to keep busy, I will update with pictures(I promise soon) and a little bit about what we have been up to. May 1st "May Day" is coming & I remember just like it was yesterday-Haley making her MayDay baskets in the hospital a couple years ago(read the journal entry from May 3, 2004) & wanting to make sure that everyone of the Nurses & Doctors that were there on that day came to get one. The other thing that is so hard to believe is that last year at this time we were Mexico bound. Wow-I won't begin to type about all that right now, but as Paula has indicated recently the pain is so real & final that it doesn't make sense & we/parents could go on & on making no sense at all, but missing our sweet children so much. God be with you all

LiveSTRONG

I hope you enjoy this poem and i hope it helps if only for a moment...
Some things I'd like to say but first of all to let you know that I arrived okay. I'm writing this from Heaven, where
I dwell with God above where there are no more tears or sadness there is just eternal love. Please do not be unhappy just because I'm out of sight remember that I'm with you every morning, noon and night. That day I had to leave you when my life on Earth was through God picked me up and hugged me and He said I welcome you. It's good to have you back again you were missed while you were gone as for your dearest family they'll be here later on. I need you here so badly as part of My big plan there's so much that we have to do to help our mortal man. Then God gave me a list of things
He wished for me to do and foremost on that list of mine is to watch and care for you. And I will be beside you every day and week and year and when you're sad I'm standing there to wipe away the tear. And when you lie in bed at night the days chores put to flight God and I are closest to you in the middle of the night. When you think of my life on Earth and all those loving years because you're only human they are bound to bring you tears. But do not be afraid to cry it does relieve the pain remember there would be no flowers unless there was some rain. I wish that I could tell you of all that God has planned but if I were to tell you you wouldn't understand. But one thing is for certain though my life on Earth is o'er I am closer to you now than I ever was before. And to my very many friends trust God knows what is best I'm still not far away form you I'm just beyond the crest. There are rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb but together we can do it taking one day at a time. It was always my philosophy and I'd like it for you too that as you give unto the world so the world will give to you. If you can help somebody who is in sorrow or in pain then you can say to God at night my day was not in vain. And now I am contented that my life it was worthwhile knowing as I passed along the way I made somebody smile. So if you meet somebody who is down and feeling low just lend a hand to pick him up as on your way you go. When you are walking down the street and you've got me on your mind I'm walking in your footsteps
only half a step behind. And when you feel the gentle breeze or the wind upon your face that's me giving you a great big hug or just a soft embrace. And when it's time for you to get from that body to be free remember you're not going you are coming here to me. And I will always love you from that
land way up above will be in touch again soon. P.S. God sends His love.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006 6:05 PM CDT

Hello to everyone. I’m so sorry that it has taking me so long to type an update. Lots of things going on & to make the time to sit down & type has been impossible. Thanks so much for continuing to follow Haley’s journey-I so wish that I could type an update on how Great things are going and that Miss Haley & Hanna are keeping us so busy with sports, school, living life etc. That is not the case and yes I know you all know that, but after attending the service of our friend Jill from work-I realized that Haley would not want for us to continue to drag our butts and feel sorry for ourselves(even though she knows that it is just part of the process), she wants for us to share her story, Celebrate in her honor and continue to live each day !!! So this is another thing that I will tell myself everyday-keep focused & move forward(even though I think that I will always be stuck in the past couple years-I talked with someone the other day & I referred to last year as Haley’s 5th grade recognition-Wow, she was a 6th grader last year-I’m so lost with the time).

As for the latest stuff, well Haley’s Helping Hands got together to sort toys & goodies for the Easter Baskets-they had their work cut out for them, but guess what? They did a Super job, they organized everything real well, boy vs. girl and tried to separate age items. Than we started to put the baskets together & they looked so Great!! The delivery was good, I think that we were involved more than we thought we would be-Kevin really wasn’t to sure about going to the clinic & the floors etc, but we did & it felt pretty good. I tell you what I liked the most was to actually get to deliver to the kids & their parents-that felt so good to see them smile. Most of them were just like Haley, shy, quiet when saying Thank you etc. But I sure hope that the items in the baskets made them talk about it for awhile. I have heard from some of those parents & that in itself is a reward for me. I will try to list some of their sites soon, so that you may stop by their sites & send them some encouraging words.

We did attend a ceremony that they held at school for those who participated in a St Jude Math-a-thon, in honor of Haley !! They did release balloons, their were 13 of them all together & they plan on doing this every year on April 10th, this is very thoughtful !!!

I heard from a very special friend of mine “Cherish” and she sent me a little story that her Pastor shared in church on Easter Sunday. This I just had to share with all CB families…He told a story about a little girl that was in the car with her Dad and a bee got into the car. The little girl was SO scared of the bee and was basically freaking out. Her Dad spoke to her calmly and told her everything would be alright. Just then, the bee stung the Dad. The little girl was still afraid but her Dad told her that she's safe because the stinger is now out of the bee. Because of what Jesus did for us on that cross, death's stinger is gone!! Because of Christ, Haley is feeling NO pain and NO sting of death!! God's loving arms are around Haley!! May his loving arms embrace you and bring you peace!

Speaking of Easter, it was sure a different year…I know that we still have little Banana Boat to take care of, but even she feels the same way. It just doesn’t seem fair or real !!! I know that Haley along with all our Angel friends had a nice day together, but it is so hard to not be able to talk with them, hold them, watch them, listen to them, cuddle, sing, walk-anything that you do with your child-we can’t do with our Angel’s. We talk to Haley everyday-all the time & I know that she hears us, I just wish that I could hear her voice.

Go out and live each day for the moment, grasp the right now & look forward to our eternal future.

Angel Haley’s family

Sunday, April 16, 2006 12:44 AM CDT

Happy Easter to All. So much to update about & not enough time today again. I mainly wanted to send wishes to all to enjoy this wonderful day & to really take the time to understand the meaning of the day & hold onto the one thing that we have to look forward to - our eternal life(for those of us with special Angel's-I know we can't wait).

Extra prayers for our friend Jill's family as she became an Angel on Thursday. She is a 30 year wife & mother to a sweet baby boy Jakob. Please keep Mike and their families in your prayers today & the days ahead.

I will update about getting together with friends to make the baskets, the delivering of them to the hospital, Haley's birthday and this past week.

Thank you so much to all those who sent cards, emails, calls and the donations for Haley's birthday. I know that she had a large party with so many little boys & girls that are with her. I can see that party....she made sure that all those little kids were smiling & that they had fun(just a little note to those parents-you truly have a full time babysitter until you come home to be with your sweet child-I know that she is taking such good care of them & of course she continues to watch over all her special friends here).

May God be with you all today & everyday ~ go and spread the word of Christ !!

Living in Faith
Kevin, Patti, Angel Haley & Hanna

Monday, April 10, 2006 10:22 PM CDT

**New slide show with pictures mainly from last years birthday parties. I will change again soon, to have pictures of Easter & from this past weekend w/ making the baskets & taking to Childrens.**

Happy 13th birthday sweet teenage babygirl !! Haley Lynette, we prayed that today was a good day for you & that you felt the love & prayers coming your way sweetie. This has been another one of those very hard days, but guess what? We made it through it, Thank you for pushing us & helping us make it through the day. Hugs & Kisses to you sweet girl

I will update more tomorrow, because I have so much I would like to share, but tonight I feel exhausted(the stress & emotions add up)....the past few days & today were so crazy & the feeling of talking with your child on their birthday would be so much different if they had gone away to college or lived in another state, but that is not the case & the reality of that is so overwhelming.

Thank you to everyone who made this day special...more details & pictures to come

YaGottaBelieve
Kevin, Patti, Angel Haley & Hanna

Friday, April 7, 2006 3:54 PM CDT

If you have had a rough day, please stop by the link below & realize not all the problems that you are faced with are as bad as you make them......brooke/ky

This journal entry is to share with you of the sadness of our little friend Brooke she has earned her wings as of last night & her family needs to hear from you. Just a couple words to let them know that prayers are coming from all over for them. This was very sudden & of course a shock for all. Brooke went in for her surgery on Tuesday of this week & had complications that started the next day. Bryan & Stephanie have alot to deal with right now, this sweet little girl was running, playing soccer*scoring her first goal* & having friends over just a week ago. Please realize the value of each day & know that terrible things happen each day. Pleae stop by her site and offer them prayers-they are headed to meet 2 of their other children today who went to Florida for spring break & share the news with them in person, than return to talk with their youngest & then next plan for Brooke's service.

In God We Trust
Kevin, Patti, Angel Haley & Hanna

Wednesday, April 5, 2006 12:16 AM CDT

First off...Thanks to all who have sent money donations & brought gifts to us. We are getting together this Saturday to put the baskets together & I know that the children who will receive these will be very Happy. As well, Thanks to all of you who not only continue to pray for Haley, but for all these children & their families who have been effected by cancer or another childhood illness.

Update for those who have ask....there will be NO balloon release at the girls school. I had received a message & with mixed emotions I see both sides to the coin, but as Haley's mother-this is her 13th birthday & anything is worth me asking. Haley was a child who didn't want to leave anyone out & when this did happen to someone, she would talk alot to me at home about how she felt about the situation. Well, this is one of those situations. Haley earned her wings over the summer(which some people have told me that, maybe it would have been easier during the school year....I'm not sure what that means, because there is no good time to have your child gone, but I think they were talking about the other children). What my point is, that some children were not able to attend her service that may have wanted to, this was the reason I thought of the balloon release at school(for those who haven't been involved in other activities for Haley, if we do the balloon release somewhere else than those same children may miss out. I guess I just need not worry about that kind of stuff & those who want to Celebrate/honor Haley will do it on their own. Am I mad at the decision, well I don't know..Am I mad at anyone in particular "No", just the process. I know that maybe the school feels that they might overlook another family if this was to happen to them, but my thought is-I'm not asking the school to provide anything, just allow it to take place on the school property, I would hope that if this should happen to another family-they wouldn't wait for the school to contact them to do something like this or feel offended if the school didn't offer a balloon release for them & their family, I didn't-I'm the one that called them, but didn't expect them to say that it was okay either. So with that being said....life goes on & as my sweet daughter would say....."that's so 30 minutes ago-Thanks Haley that made me smile:)"....if you have a balloon around set that baby free on Monday or like I indicated in another journal entry, if you can say a prayer & let Haley know that you are still thinking of her-God Bless you !!!

I know the days ahead hold lots of emotions for us and I can't even begin to tell you how I feel or what I think, I know how very much we miss Haley & the hurt that we hold inside each day. I will put some new/updated pictures of Haley's birthdays out here, so stop back by in the next couple days.

My little Hanna update, she is going along to get along, trying to keep busy, but misses her sister so much. I know that part of her is ready for summer & the other part is not. She did some shopping with me for the Easter Baskets the other day & I think she had a nice time-she kept telling me "they'll like this won't they". She smile & I could see that look in her eyes.

Prayers to all families, please stop by and offer prayers & support for ky/Brooke as she just went back in for surgery yesterday to remove a new spot they found. A friend here at work has been fighting cancer and has limited time left with her husband & sweet baby Jakob-her liver has stopped functioning, please say prayers for them...Jill is very tough, is 30 years old & has been working & going through treatment this whole time. She is an inspiration to many of us. God be with her in the days ahead.

YaGottaBelieve
The Mathis family

Saturday, March 25, 2006 1:14 PM CST

**Hanna finally took 1st in all 3 of her races last night & she is smiling from ear to ear.....her first race she placed 3rd, than mid season she came in 2nd & now 1st-so she has a little collection of trophies to show!! I will put some pictures out soon**

Well everyone, we hope that this day finds you all doing well & truly living your life to its fullest. I wanted to send prayers out to Skylarberry/ne and his family as they face a tough road ahead of them, please stop by & leave them some encouraging words as well wish them the best as they get ready to leave for his MAW to Disney. Another boy by the name of Josh who was treated at Children's passed away yesterday, so we need to send prayers to his family as well.

As for us, I mainly wanted to give you an update...I would love to say that we were doing something over the top for Miss Haleygirl's 13th birthday, but it will be very hard to get through this next couple weeks(missing her, taxes for all the apartments & property we have, work etc)-she deserves so much-but the pain of her not being here is reality & it sucks. But we are planning on putting together Easter baskets for the kids that are & will be in the hospital. We are not asking for each of you to contribute(we know that isn't possible), but we are asking if you would like to contribute $$(a very little goes along way when it comes to these baskets), or if you would like to buy goodies...we are not excepting any candy products. The list below is just some ideas, so you can run with these or get others

Silly string
hot wheels
finger nail polish
beach balls
bouncy balls
bubbles
stickers
slinky's
window clings
glow sticks/bracelets
yo-yo's
sunglasses
deck of cards or card games
side walk chalk
coloring books
activity books/word search/connect the dots etc
little lego sets
colored pencils
art supplies
craft items
silly putty
clay/play dough
ceramics that come with paint set
cd players
cd's
videos

gift cards to Walmart or Target will work as we can go pick out a few items from there as well. Email me if you have any questions

If your churches can put together anything we can come to pick up, just let me know. Like I said these are just some of the things that I thought of, so if you can help out that would be great, if not I will be asking for everyone of course to say "Happy birthday to Haley on April 10th & say a prayer for her at 3:01pm when she was born". I realize that this is not much of a notice/short time frame, but the longer I drag it out the more worked up & lonely I think it will feel, so we will make the best of what we receive & Celebrate & give to other children like Haley would want. Haley's friends will be getting together to make the baskets and stuff them with the goodies for children of all ages. Kevin, Hanna & myself will deliver them to the hospital on Haley's birthday. We are trying to find out if we can have a balloon release at Norris school on that day, but I'm not sure that this will fly.

We have some additional things of course planned for down the road, We will be participating on June 3rd in Omaha for "In the arms of friends"-Curesearch walk, it will be in the morning & is only a couple hours long. The cookbooks, I will update on sometime in May, so that you can start getting your recipes together. And if everything goes we will be starting a new Celebration in each June for Haley & childhood cancer by having a cook-off the Haley way!!!

That's all for now, we are getting ready for Hanna's last indoor go-quad race today. Thanks for continuing to follow Haley's story & living your life different because of her(Midge what a Great thing you are doing-it is people like you who make a difference for these children & others).

LiveSTRONG

Wednesday, March 22, 2006 12:24 AM CST

HEAVENS CHILD

By Susan Marie Jeavons

God sent a child from heaven
To make us laugh and smile,
But she was only with us,
For such a little while.
She seemed so very happy,
So full of life and pride,
Now we'll never know the feelings,
She kept hidden deep inside.
For one day God came and took her,
And carried her a way,
To be with Him in heaven,
Oh Lord we only pray.
That she knew how proud we were,
How much we loved her so,
Now she's heaven's child.
Yes in my heart I know.
She's smiling down upon us,
And prays we understand,
She's reaching down with angel wings,
To gently hold our hands.
She whispers that she loved us,
As her halo glows so bright,
Now a new star up in heaven,
Will shine on us tonight!

9 months has come & gone....I only thought that a Mother should count 9 months while being pregnant & waiting to hold their sweet baby. Each day there is a void that will never be repaired-it is so hard on families to deal with this...I know on the outside it might look okay, but I will tell you first hand-it's not !!! Count your blessings each day.

I will be updating soon/within the next couple days about what we are trying to put together for Haley's birthday Celebration.

LiveSTRONG
Angel Haley's family

Saturday, March 11, 2006 8:15 PM CST

Hello to all..you probably ask "why has it been so long since I updated? I wish I knew". I have wanted to for along time, but by the time I get in here to do it, I just change my mind.

As most of you know-a very good friend of ours earned his wings, please stop by Kyle's website to offer his family some support, believe me when I say it doesn't have to be much. Just let them know that you are thinking of them, his site is ia/kyle. Our prayers go out to them today & everyday, as they face each day without their sweet baby with them.

I haven't had a chance to get by many sites lately-but know of a few who could use some prayers, ne/lizziegirl, ne/skylarberry, ne/jakieboy(chicken pox), www.collindavis.com, la/jordanamato, la/jakeowens and I haven't even been able to get out to our Wilm's families yet-so I know that there are several of them getting scans, treatment etc. Hugs & prayers to each of you

Now on to things around here....well since our last update-Valentine's day-Kevin brought me the most beautiful roses(yellow & white), along with pictures to work, a card from Hanna, Haley & himself and once I got home he gave Hanna & I both an 8X10 framed picture of us with Haley. Mine came with a letter that he wrote from Haley to me & oh my stars...it hit home & felt so much like Haley was talking to me(I haven't been able to read the letter again, it takes my breathe away-I feel like she sent me the letter as she is away on vacation so where-my denial is still so strong). The color of the roses represent the girls birth stones-which of course is very special as well.

Other than that, I have come down with a cold this week & have been out for several days nows. Hanna has been keeping busy racing and took 2nd place last time, so she is starting a small collection of trophies. Haley's Comet, Daisy & Owen are ready for the nice weather to stay around. Comet is so funny, she sometimes thinks that she is a big as our lab.....I know I need to get pictures out here so that you can see all 3 of them together. Hanna is getting closer to the end of 5th grade, it will be here before we know it....and than on to middle school.

Looking back a year ago, I realize that we were told that our Miracle in Memphis was not to happen & that we needed to go home with Haley. I can close my eyes and remember everything that took place, wow....all those emotions get stirred up again...& I get really angry at this terrible disease. We must not just raise money to treat patients with chemo....we must raise money to CURE....this is something that I'm not feeling very strong about-I just don't see it happening all that much. I know that Kris Rech & Wyatt mn/wyattrech(go to Curesearch & see what's happening, as well look at the picture of Kris & Wyatt-Wyatt is wearing his Brooke, Haley & Josh shirt) have been doing some amazing work with CureSearch along with lots of other individuals ne/josh(Steve & Diane). The other thing that happened one year ago today...Haley & I went to watch her team play basketball-she had so much fun watching them, they gave her a new jersey(that she wore as much as she could) & than we went & had ice cream-great friends to have. They were such Great therapy for Haley.

Last year at this time Haley also became a mother to her sweet little Comet....what a day that was, she shinned & loved that little girl so much...took her to each radiation treatment in Omaha with her, held her as much as she could. I will get more pictures of the 2 of them out here for you to see.

Well, I know I have rambled on & on & probably changed subjects alot-sorry....I now know I need to do this more often, I need it!!! Anisa-Thanks for the visit on the phone the other day....Wow it seems like so long since I last visited with you too.

Continued prayers to each of you, all CB families and friends

Extra prayers to the Reeds tonight-we love you all

LiveSTRONG
Kevin, Patti, Angel Haley & Hanna

Tuesday, February 14, 2006 8:27 PM CST

Happy Valentines Day to each of you & to our sweet Angel Haley!!

"VALENTINE SENT TO HEAVEN"

This Valentine is not of the ordinary kind,
Its still filled with love…and blessing inside;
But mine has to be sent on the wings of love…
You see its destination is the Heavens above.

It’s not being sent to my parents so dear,
For they are still with me each day of the year;
It’s being sent to my child…, who left earth so soon,
Who’s now in Heaven with the stars and the moon.

The message is the same as your Valentine,
“I Love you…my sweet precious child of mine;
My love is still deeper than the ocean is blue,
And it’s sent with hugs and kisses…from me to you.”

“I know you are with me each and everyday,
You listen as I talk to you…and hear what I say;
For that is one thing that disease cannot do…
You’ll always be a part of me…and me a part of you.”

“I know God did not give you this awful disease,
Thank Him for His comfort He gives me…would you please?
I don’t know what I would do without His undying love…
Sent to bereaved parents from the Heavens above.”

“I know you are in the best of care,
But it’s so hard for us left on earth to bear;
Could you put in a request from us left behind…?
For God to send the knowledge…so a cure we can find.”

“So that no other family has to go through this pain,
Our lives without you will never be the same;
When I get lonely I will look to the sky at night…
And see you shining down your BIG bright light.”

“Happy Valentines Day sunshine…I miss you so much,
I know you know how many lives you have touched;
You’ll always be mine…I love you with all my heart,
I know we will be together again… and then we’ll never part.”

So you see the meaning is still the same…
The method of delivery is the only change;
Mine must be sent by a little white dove…
“On the wings of Love.”

Here's hoping that each of you have a day filled with love, good health & happiness. So many emotions running through my head & heart. I/we miss Haley so much & it is special days like this that she would/did plan for & worked behind ya to make a special surprise...Always she did this & I miss that/her so much. May her day be filled with the smiles of all the little boys & girls that are with her & may she make them & their parents all rest a little knowing that she is taking good care of them. Haleygirl love you with all our heart babygirl.

Hanna's class was having a little party, she didn't have to make a box this year, which I was okay with-since her & Haley have made them together each year, I know that would have been hard for Hanna. She continues to face each day with a smile & big heart-just like her Big sister!!!

Hold onto each day & live for the moment.....

Valentine Hugs to each of you
Kevin, Patti, Angel Haley & Hanna

Wednesday, February 8, 2006 12:22 AM CST

**I got a new slide show to work, I will get more pictures out soon(now that I know how to work it again). Haley loved Valentine's Day-we hope that each of you take the time to remember those special little boys & girls who are not here this Valentine's Day. Extra prayers for Lizziegirl/ne, skylarberry/ne, kyle/ia & ellieanna/mt. Hugs to all our CB families. We will update at the beginning of the week-Thanks for stopping by to visit. Hugs to all of Haley's 7th grade friends & their parents/Hanna's 5th grade class & the Norris Teachers-miss seeing you all.

A couple things I wanted to get out here, I'm having trouble getting different pictures out here so just go with me & I will get some different pictures for you of Haley, Hanna & Haley's Comet too!!

Second a HUGE Thank you to Angela & Miss Emily~we did receive your package & what a sweet surprise. We have placed it in a very special place(next to a beatiful picture of Haley & Comet and right next to a butterfly that lights up every night). You are so sweet to think of us & send that our way. Hugs to you!!!

I ran across this poem & it just hits home to not only me, but I'm sure each of you-as you realize the value of each day.

Harsh Words

I ran into a stranger as he passed by.

"Oh excuse me please" was my reply.
He said, "Please excuse me too;

I wasn't watching for you."

We were very polite,

this stranger and I.

We went on our way and
we said good-bye.

But at home

a different story is told,

how we treat our loved ones,

young and old.

Later that day, cooking the evening meal,

my son stood beside me very still.

When I turned, I nearly knocked him down.

"Move out of the way," I said with a frown.

He walked away, his little heart broken.

I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.

While I laid awake in bed,

a small voice came to me and said,

"While dealing with a stranger,

common courtesy you use,

but the children you love,

you seem to abuse."

Go look on the kitchen floor,

you'll find some flowers there by the door."

"Those are the flowers he brought for you.

He picked them himself; pink, yellow and blue.

He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise,

and you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes."

By this time, I felt very small,

and now my tears began to fall.

I quietly went and knelt by his bed;

"Wake up, little one, wake up," I said.

"Are these the flowers you picked for me?"

He smiled, "I found 'em out by the tree."

"I picked 'em because they're pretty like you.

I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue."

I said, "Son, I'm very sorry
for the way I acted today;

I shouldn't have yelled at you that way."

He said, "Oh, Mom, that's okay.

I love you anyway. I said,

"Son, I love you too,

and I do like the flowers, especially the blue."

Are you aware that if we died tomorrow, the company
that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days. But the
family we left behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives. And
come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than to our own
family, an unwise investment indeed, don't you think?

So what is behind the story? Do you know what the
word FAMILY means?

FAMILY = (F)ATHER (A)ND (M)OTHER, (I), (L)OVE, (Y)OU

Hug & Love your children/family & show them that you care, good Karma will return to you.

Prayers to all CB families
Kevin, Patti, Angel Haley & Hanna

Monday, January 30, 2006 12:38 AM CST

**Please stop by a few sites if you can-let them know that Angel Haley sent you.....brooke/ky(scans), kyle/ia, lizziegirl/ne, skylarberry/ne all 3 of these kids & their families need the support now more than ever. One addt'l site, please stop by mo/jordanmumma-look at the pictures on the front page of her site, this message is so huge-this is how it should be instead of these children losing their life at such a young age. Unfair, but wanted you to stop by & leave Jordan a message about her wonderful drawing!!! LiveSTRONG**

Sorry for the delay in updating. I always have the best intentions to get on here & update, but that never works out for me!!! I'm so glad that we have so many who still follow up to see what's happening in our lives.

I will hopefully keep this update on a positive note, sometimes it is tough though, but I have to realize that with this being "Miss Haley's life/story"-it should truly have more ups than downs-that is the way she chose to Celebrate her 12 years 2 months & 11 days here!!! and as for myself & our family, we need to Kick it up a notch(Emril's quote of course-Haley & her Food Network watching).

Hanna is keeping us busy & she is feeling good about herself-this is huge, she is participating in a basketball clinic at school-yeah she's not the best, but guess what? That's not the point:), started a little softball and the go-ped/quad racing is keeping her busy as well. I will update a story about that later on, but she is having a good time & Celebrating for her & Haley(Haley was such a HUGE fan of go-carts, this is the closet Hanna could get w/out it costing lots of money). I will get pictures out here of her cart & explain all the Haley/Hanna features!!

There are so many families out there that need extra prayers, please keep an open pray for all children/all families that are in need of extra support right now. I really hate to list just a handful, because there are so many that we check in on & care for. Please take the time to stop by a couple- kyle/ia, his family & him need lots of extra support-lizziegirl/ne & her family, once again has run into some new issues & she needs to hear from you-jakeowen/la & his family(we met Jake at the RMH in Memphis), bonnieclaire/nc-needs extra hugs sent her way.....my list could continue to go on & on.

One last note that I want to put out there for you to all start thinking about is.....We will be putting together a cookbook & want you to all be involved in this process-I don't know much yet to pass along, but I believe that Hanna & I have come up with the name of "Cookin' up a CURE for Childhood Cancer". We will post more as we get closer to putting things together & needing your Great recipes etc.

Continue to live for the moment, don't spend each day thinking only of yourself & worry about the future when you get there!!!!

In God We Trust
The Mathis family

Thursday, January 19, 2006 7:46 PM CST

IF I KNEW

If I knew it would be the last time
That I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time
that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
and call you back for one more.

If I knew it would be the last time
I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word,
so I could play them back day after day.

If I knew it would be the last time,
I could spare an extra minute
to stop and say "I love you,"
instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.

If I knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day,
Well I'm sure you'll have so many more,
so I can let just this one slip away.

For surely there's always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance
to make everything just right.

There will always be another day
to say "I love you,"
And certainly there's another chance
to say our "Anything I can do?"

But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you
and I hope we never forget.

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance
you get to hold your loved one tight.

So if you're waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you'll surely regret the day,

That you didn't take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
and you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out to be their one last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today,
and whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them
and that you'll always hold them dear

Take time to say "I'm sorry,"
"Please forgive me," "Thank you," or "It's okay."
And if tomorrow never comes,
you'll have no regrets about today.

Just wanted to type a little update about what's been going on. This past week has been spent praying for lots of kids going through treatment, surgeries, scans etc & for my Mom(who fell on New Year's day hurt her knee, than started having complications from this & formed blood clots in her lungs & leg). Very scary moment for her & our family. Thanks to all who prayed for her & continue. Outside of that everything else is about the same, going through each day smiling & trying our best, but inside & at home crumbling down-Haley we miss you sweet girl. I try to read back a year ago to see what was going on in your journal. I'm so sorry that you had to go through all that crap & nasty treatment etc. Cancer sucks,having your child go through treatment is terrible & losing them is not right & unfair. Thanks to all who did little things along the way to make this terrible road a little easier.

Kevin ask me what I'm typing an update for? He says, really there is nothing that you have to share with anyone-the webpage was setup for Haley's treatment. Well, it is another way for me to try to stay connected-this was such a huge part of our life-I think that I will always remain in the year 2003-2005. So I hope I don't put you to sleep with my updates, I know that I don't express myself the way I used to, but that has been very difficult-so maybe with time.

God Bless
Kevin, Patti, Angel Haley & Hanna

Wednesday, January 11, 2006 8:06 PM CST

***** Urgent prayer request for Lizziegirl & her family. Please stop by her site & read the update that Kellie put out there. We need for you to bend a knee & say a prayer for Lizzie & the entire Stratton family lizziegirl/ne*****

Hello to all, sorry it's been so long since I've updated. We have been trying to keep busy around here. Everyday is a struggle to some degree, it is very hard to go through the routine that was once everything & have that all change overnight. We continue to miss Haley & everyday I'm waiting for my sign as to what steps I take next.

Hanna is doing really well with school, studying & really applying herself. She started her go-quad racing last weekend & did just Super-boy Haley was there with her:) She had 3 races & she did well-she was holding 1st place for several laps-looking real confident & than her carborator overloaded on her-rats, but she ended up holding on and took 3rd place!!! She walked away with a trophy & felt so good. Thanks to her Dad, Uncle Jeff & Rob who helped with lots of extra parts-also Thanks to Haley who helped her through the night.

Not much else going on, Little Haley's Comet turns 1 year old on 1-12......Haley would be so excited for this day-it hurts to know that she will not be here to spoil her little puppy. We are still in the works of getting her into therapy class, so she will be able to go visit the other little boys & girls at Children's.

The other thing that I wanted to say, how hard it is to believe the past year has gone by so fast. We were in Florida last year for Haley's Make a Wish, than came back for her Celebraion of Life 1-16th-what a day to remember-God Bless everyone for making this day so special-I still remember how Haley would have stayed all night long-she LOVED it!!! Than we were packing up heading to St Jude-Wow, what a roller coaster. I miss everything about being a Mom to Haley each day, I would ride/live in a van the rest of my life if I had-it is just not fair. I/we have been talking about how they(whoever they are) say it will get easier, well I don't feel quilty, but I do feel sadness, madness, emptiness etc. I really don't know that it will get easier-just truly hurts. I miss my Angel so deeply. Give those children a Hug, spend the extra time, eat dinner together, read & love one another.

Prayers to each of you who are in the hospital, going through treatment, living without your child, those of you in remission and to those who haven't went down this road on a personal basis. Thanks for the continued prayers.

God be with you
The Mathis family

Friday, December 30, 2005 9:50 PM CST

Hello to all. We have had a long past week, missing Haley very much & the holidays of course DO make it worse. I/we miss her so much in our everyday, but Christmas just doesn't seem fair/or right anyway you look at it. We did our best for Hanna & Haley(she wouldn't & doesn't want us-missing the reason of the season). She is with us in everything we do that's for sure. It is just very hard to go and get stocking's out & 1st hand realize she will never be running down the stairs coming to look under the tree & in her stocking, the other is the memories that flash back in your mind & how much FUN Haley had with everything she did. That good morning Mommy-Merry Christmas-I missed SO much!! I won't say that I think it will get easier with time, I just think that I will adapt to whatever the future holds for me. We hope that you were all blessed with a Great Christmas and were able to enjoy some good families times together. Happy Birthday Jesus!!!Thanks to those who sent us a card, called, emailed or entered a journal entry on here. This really means a lot to us. We pray that Haley's 1st Christmas in heaven was an okay one & I'm sure once we get to join her, she will have so much to tell us. Until than, I know that she is watching over all the other little boys & girls who have earned their wings way to early.

As you can probably tell...I finally got my scanner(new photos in photo album too), so I can get all of our pictures of the girls scanned as well as their artwork-we want to have a backup in case something should ever happen. It will take me along time with all the pictures I have, but all I got is time-so that's okay. Now I will have lots of pictures to share with you guys, since I can't put new ones of Haley out here, I will just put new/old ones.

I took a few days off between Christmas & New Year to spend with Hanna & do somethings around the house, it sure is different not having it be all 3 of us girls. Hanna is keeping busy I guess, not involved in much at this point, she will start go-quad racing this next weekend(so we will see what this will do). We will be starting Haley's Comet in dog training to become a therapy dog soon as well. She writes alot & I think that this is her therapy. I can see in her everyday activities that she misses Haley lots, but doesn't want to talk about it very much. Please say an extra prayer for strength & comfort for Hanna. Continue to send prayers for Haley & let her know that you still think of her.

Lots of prayers for families at this time of the year, lots of kids out there that need extra prayers I know(I won't get everyone here, because I haven't been by to check in on many yet). Kyle/ia, Lizziegirl/ne, Wyattrech/mn(port removal), la/jordanamato, skylarberry/ne. Just a few families who have lost their children this past year-I hope I don't forget someone....josh/ne, schuylerpetersen/ne, jessica/ne, morgan/ne, camer/ne, addiemarie/ne, gageedwards/ne, brooke/ne, Star/myshiningstar- I know this list just keeps going on and on.

I have had several people email & want the name of the song that Haley chose to play on here.....Gospel, Karen Clark Sheard "Only call on Jesus".

LiveSTRONG
Kevin, Patti, Angel Haley & Hanna

Saturday, December 24, 2005 7:51 PM CST

Here we go, I'm going to try my best to go through some thougths. It is so hard to believe that Haley earned her Angel wings 6 months ago..Heaven truly received the Biggest dimples, smile, loving/caring child there could be. As many of you probably know this has been such a very hard time to prepare for-what is Christmas without our two little girls & our family being together? It was so very hard to try to shop-I have always bought stuff in doubles, because Haley & Hanna had so much in common & liked the same things. I really just went through the motions to make sure to get Hanna some things to have on Christmas. I realize that we still have Hanna here & Haley will ALWAYS be with us, but believe me when I say it is easier to say than feel.

Last year at this time we were in Colorado spending time together & it is so hard to believe that was the very last Christmas that we would spend as a family together. Those 11 Christmas' that Kevin & I shared with Haley & Hanna can never be replaced nor can we get them back, so my words to many of you....Please take the time not to buy the Biggest, Best gift(yes I know it is important), but spend time with your children-that is truly what they want more than anything else-just to be loved & know that their parents take the time to show them. As for the Christmas' ahead at the Mathis house hold, well we'll have them & yes they will be different, but I know that we will all hold the past very close to our hearts!!! I won't say that I think the next ones to come will get any easier, because I don't know how that could be, but I do know that Haley was big on everytime you hear the bells-an Angel earns their wings, as well as you gotta believe to recieve(I now see this to mean many things).

Thank you so much for all the cards, visits,emails, phone calls, journal entries(it is so comforting to know that others are still thinking of us). God Bless each of you & Merry Christmas to all. May God be with each of you this Holiday season.

YaGottaBelieve
The Mathis family

Words from an Angel

I have not turned my back on you,
So there is no need to cry.
I'm watching you from Heaven,
Just beyond the morning sky.
I've seen you almost fall apart,
When you could barely stand.
I asked the Lord to comfort you,
And watched him take your hand.
He told me you are in more pain,
Than I could ever be.
He wiped his eyes and swallowed hard,
Then gave your hand to me.
Although you may not feel my touch,
Or see me by your side.
I've whispered that I love you,
While I wiped each tear you cried.
So please try not to ache for me,
We'll meet again one day.
Beyond the dark and stormy sky,
A rainbor lights the way.

Haleygirl-We love you so much sweet thing, miss you all the time, can't wait to come home to be with you. May you have an okay time like us at Christmas this year, hold them little boys & girls tight, help them get through this Christmas without their parents too baby.

XOXO's
Your family

Saturday, December 17, 2005 1:44 PM CST

Well, we have done alot over the past week & I will try my best to sum it up. Hanna had a meeting for some upcoming events she will be in on Friday-Uncle Jeff went with us. Saturday brought a birthday party, while Mom/Dad & Aunt Theresa had dinner-while we were at Val's we ran into the Brestels(Angel Josh)& Rech's(Wyatt's family)-we headed over to suprise Hanna when picking her up:) Sunday after church we headed into Lincoln for Josh's 1st annual safari/birthday party-What a Great responses!!! Children's hospital is I'm sure overwhelmed with the amount of toys that Brestels took up there. Sunday night Hanna went to stay at the Motel with Kris & the kids(got some swimming time in), Kevin & I went to the candlelighting service held at 7:00pm-Wow, I can't explain how painful it is to be watching a slideshow of children who have earned their wings & have your child's picture & name come up-This moment sucked so bad!!!!We lit a candle for sweet Haley, cried lots & held each other. I/we miss her so much & the holiday coming up is getting harder each day.....

Monday was yet another reminder of this terrible disease as we headed to Omaha to Brooke's service. Beautiful day for this & they had a very nice service. Following the service we headed across town to meet a very special nurse in the parking lot to Children's-well once we got there we ended up inside, gave BIG hugs & yes cried a little. Along with Anisa-we seen Julie, Dr L, Kim, Kelly & Jodi-it was actually a good thing to see these friends of ours. They were ALL so good to Haley & us during our time there. I know that this was just a first step, but it is so hard to face these places after your child has fought so hard to just want to keep their life & now they are gone.....Haley as sad as it is truly enjoyed must of her time at the hospital-Wonderful people, no distractions like you get at home(well different distractions,like nurses coming in at all hours of the night & day, getting up to go potty every 30 minutes at least, noises from other children etc), but she somehow found a way to make the best of her visits to the hospital. Thanks to all who made her feel welcome & comfortable. After this we headed down the street & found our Christmas tree for this year, it is another live tree, so we will bring it in this weekend or Monday & get it decorated. For dinner we joined some super friends, the Beresh's(Jake's family), the Peter's(Charlie & Morgan's family) & the Stratton's(Lizziegirl's family)-it was so good to be around these families. Hanna enjoyed being with Liz & Morgan(2 of Haley's special friends) & of course we had the Beresh boys to keep Hanna on her toes:)

I know that I got windy here so I will get going, but please remember all the families that are struggling right now, please take the time to stop by ia/kyle & wish his family your blessings, ne/lizziegirl as she starts a round of radiation, la/jordanamato as he will be headed back to St Jude soon, as well all the other Wilm's families who are in the middle of treatment, through treatment or like us have lost their sweet child to this terrible crap!!! Prayers to each of you reading this & Thanks for taking the time to stop by and visit, I know the updates aren't really full of anything new-since I can't tell you how Haley is feeling or doing.

God Bless you all
Kevin, Patti, Angel Haley & Hanna

Friday, December 9, 2005 5:27 PM CST

As most of you are aware-our sweet friend Brooke earned her wings & joined too many other children in heaven. Please stop by and leave them some words. Stop by brooke/ne, leave a note for Gavin, Darby & Nick let them know you are praying for them as well as Brooke. This is such a sick disease and I am so darn sick of it. Everyone needs to take part in making an awareness of what is going on and what we need to do to protect our families.

Many other kids are in need of prayers, please stop by Haley's great friend Lizzie & offer her family some prayers...they have received yet another set back, but are still moving forward with their Faith. lizziegirl/ne

Ellieanna/mt is waiting for results & her parents are on pins & needles- Skylarberry/ne is going through a tough treatment-Kyle/ia is fighting hard & needs to hear from you as well. I could go on & on, but I haven't had time to check in on many of our friends, but please say a prayer for them all. As well, please light a candle in memory of all families who have lost a child on Sunday December 11th at 7:00pm our time.

I will update more when I get time

God Bless you all
The Mathis family

Haley-Love you so much sweetgirl, miss you more than anything in this world. Holding you close to my heart as always. XOXO's baby

Thursday, December 1, 2005 8:31 PM CST

Hey everybody,
Thanks for getting on here,just so ya'll know this is Hanna.:)Hope everything is going ok!Please if you can send prayers for Brooke Brion!!!!!She isn't doing so well,she needs our prayers!!!Please HELP Lizzie stratton she needs our prayers too!!!!!
I hope all the other boys and girls are doing alright.Everbody don't take LIFE for granite it doesn't help us by doing that.Does every parent sit down at night and help their kids with their Homework,or sit and eat dinner together.Everybody,live everyday as if it were your last.Remember your family comes before work,or anything else in your life.As for our family were doing alright,Thanks for all the Birthday wishes you gave me!!!

Hanner Nanner

**See Hanna's note above about eating together & spending quality time**

Hello to all of our friends~ As you
can see Hanna typed an update & helped with the slide show. The past week has been spent with mixed emotions. Thanksgiving was okay-it is hard to not have a complete family together and that was followed up with Hanna's 11th birhtday!! I know how hard it was for her to not have Haley here with her to Celebrate & share with. Thanks for all the birthday cards, emails, journal entries & phone calls to Hanna. We are passing the flu bug through the house & so far Hanna is the only one that hasn't gotten it(cross your fingers), she has got some plans this weekend-so hopefully she will avoid this stuff. We pray that each of you had a nice Holiday weekend & that you value each day you are giving.

As Hanna indicated, please say additional prayers for all our CB friends, Brooke(ne),Lizzie(ne),Skylar(ne),Kyle(ia),Jordan(La),Collin(La) and soooooo many more-we haven't been able to check in on so many kids lately. Prayers go out to the Brestels today, as it has been 1 year since Josh earned his wings. I remember this day of course so well, we were getting crappy scans done again & were told the news of Josh & his family in the morning-it was so hard to hold onto this news & than have to share with the girls. Who would have thought that both our sweet kids 1 year later would both be in Heaven together?! Value the moment & cherish the memories.

I need to close for the night but Thanks for stopping by & checking in on us. Prayers to each of you reading this.

God Bless you all
Kevin, Patti, Angel Haley & Hanna

Monday, November 21, 2005 8:55 AM CST

Today marks 5 months that we have been without Haley....got it seems like such a sick nightmare(that I want it to come to an end). While raising Haley & Hanna-there was never a time that I/we could have imagined spending 5 days without one of them & now we are at 5 months....I can't begin to tell you this nasty feeling & how we feel each and everyday-terrible it completely sucks. I/we miss Haley in everyway & I know that there is nothing we can do to change this feeling. I wish so bad that when we told her "everything was going to be alright...we knew that 100 but with this game of cancer vs. life-you don't know that 100She trusted so much in us & her Drs-why couldn't something have been done to help her & change the outcome of her battle. She listened to everything we/they told her, she did what she was told & than some, she never argued or complained(ask her nurses & teachers), so respectful(she always said Thank you-even after getting a needle stuck in her, after surgery) she was/is just so PERFECT!!! Is this the reason WHY-he called her home??? We will not know the answer to that in this life, but Haley does know that answer right now.....we believe she is up there helping to take care of all these other children who are earning their wings way too early and looking after them until their family/parents get to go be with them. Does that make us feel any better?? Not really-we wanted her to be here with us & Hanna-we had too many things to get done together. I could on & on & probably will later this week, I have tried to update several nights and I just can't. I get to crying so hard that I can't see the screen.

Alot of emotions are brought on by everyone who keeps asking what we are doing for Thanksgiving & I know they are just wanting to take care of us and visit, but the more I think about it, it makes things harder-that is thinking about yet another day(special family day)-without Haleygirl. Normally, Thanksgiving morning we set up the tree or like last year we bought our first live tree & than planted it after the holiday. I know for Hanna we have to continue to do something-I'm just not sure what it should or will be. At this point, we have no idea what we want or will do, I just know that Haley will guide us whichever direction we go!!!

Prayers go out to little Morgan's family as she earned her wings last Sunday. As well, prayers to all the families who will spend this holiday without their sweet child/sibling/friend and to those families who are still in the middle of fighting the beast. As well, prayers to those families who have not personally had a family member go through this, or been effected in some other way....God Bless you all!!!

Little Hanna's 11th birthday is this Saturday November 26th-Happy Birthday sweet girl, we love you bundles

LiveSTRONG
The Mathis family

Friday, November 11, 2005 8:32 AM CST

Today is Kevin's birthday!!! Happy Birthday Kevin-from our sweet little girls. We know that Haley is looking over her Daddy for his birthday by blessing us with 70+ weather for the day & lots of sunshine:)The past 2 birthday's of Kevin's, Haley was in the hospital in Omaha-but we had parties up there & did the best we could...the important thing is that we were all together-the down side to that is that our daughter was fighting this terrible crap & praying for her Miracle each & everyday. I know that it would be very selfish on our behalf to want Haley here with us today, even if we had to be in the hospital, because that is so unfair to her. We pray everynight that we get to go be with her when our time here is up. YaGottaBelieve & that is all we have

Everything here is about the same as our last update. Sunday our church spent their service on Childhood Cancer and we had our friends Dan, Bambie & Kayla come to church & share their story of cancer. Kayla was diagnosed while her & Haley were in Kindergarten together. Thanks to them for coming to speak & for sharing on Sunday. We went & joined them for lunch afterwards. The money collected that morning will be going to Cure Search.

Continued prayers for all of our CB/clinic buddies, there is too many to list by name-they are just about in every state with so many different forms of cancer. God be with each of your families and to help you deal with whatever stage of this fight you are in.

Prayers for our friends the Braun's as they have went to Mexico for treatment for MS, we pray that they are getting along well & that the treatment they are receiving is working for them.

Someone had ask when Hanna'a birthday was & I wanted to make sure & get this out here. November 26th-she will be 11 years old. I wanted to update & clarify one thing...her friends at school aren't being mean to her, but just to each other & poor Hanna is in the middle of all of this. The school & her friends are very supportive of her, minus a few comments on things-like is Haley's bedroom now a spare room for friends-etc. Hanna deals with this in a very adult way(as her & Haley had to grow up through all of this).

Thanks for listening & continuing to support our family. Live each day to its fullest & you don't know what the next day may bring.

In God we Trust
Kevin, Patti, Angel Haley & Hanna

Thursday, November 3, 2005 6:07 AM CST

**Last night was a special night for us-we took Haley's Comet and went to visit Brooke & her family. We of course had mixed emotions, because we wish more than anything we could do something for Brooke to make all this go away. It is so hard to see these poor little children go through hell. Brooke really enjoyed seeing Comet, holding her & petting her-Kevin said it was Thursday & of course that is the day that the dogs go to Children's-so it was kinda nice for us to be able to bring the dog:) to Brooke!! Hanna felt really good inside knowing that we made Brooke feel a little better. For those of you who don't know....One of Haley's wishes is to have Comet be a Therapy Dog-so this is something that Hanna will make happen & I know it will be good for her. Gavin visited alot last night & we know how he feels, because him & Hanna(& all siblings) are in the same boat.

Hello to all-so sorry for the long delay in updating. Things have been going okay for us, everyday is a new day filled with many emotions. It is so hard to believe that one brave young girl can change your life so much-Everyday we run through every emotion there is & miss seeing, holding, laughing, hugging, talking, eating with, snuggling with and connecting with physically with Haley.

Continued prayers need to be offered for the Brooke's family(NE), Skylar's family(NE), Kyle's family(IA), Lizzie's family(NE), Morgan(doesn't have a site-NE), Jordan's family(LA), Ellieanna(MT), Emily(AZ)....do you get the picture-way too many families.

Halloween-was a tough one for us, yes I know Haley was 12 years old, but she loved the holidays & everything we do without her seems like we are cheating on her. Hanna-wanted to go see a movie & have dinner so that's what we did. While we were there-5:15 showing, of course there wasn't too many people there, Hanna was counting the # & said that there was 10-that was 6 other people than our family:( You can due the calculation-it is so hard to not say that there is 4 of us, when we go somewhere.

The other thing lately is-the girls in Hanna's grade...WOW-I would hope that after being around Hanna & Haley-knowing what Haley went through-to argue & fight over stupid things is just not right. I know that there is no way we can change the world & the things that young girls do & think. But it just seems to me that this didn't happen with Haley's friends & now Hanna's are all mixed emotions & changing personalities everyday. I know that Hanna is strong enough to make each through each day and just roll with it, but it seems so unfair that every none renewable day we have is wasted on such petty little stuff. Thanks for listening to ramble on about this....it just stinks to see & listen to Hanna come home with stories everyday about something someone said.

I can't think of much else to update you on, once I do....we'll be back. Kevin & Hanna both have a birthday coming up soon & I know that this is going to be another hard leap-as is everyday. But we continue to keep our Faith & know just like Kenny Chesney sings-We'll see Haleygirl again someday!!!

LiveSTRONG
Kevin, Patti, Angel Haley & Hanna

Sunday, October 23, 2005 8:48 PM CDT

***URGENT Prayers...I ask that you please, please, please say prayers for the Brion family. www.caringbridge.org/ne/brooke
Josh, Brooke & Haley were the 3 Wilms tumor kids that were being treated in Omaha & Brooke of course is the only one left here with us, she is having a terrible time & we are so scared for her & her family right now. I read their update & we are all just crying & crying. Nick, Darby, Gavin & sweet Brooke-we love you all very much & are sending constant prayers for you all.

The pictures that I have in the photo album are with Brooke, Josh & Haley-Brooke, Comet & Haley.....

Friday the 21st marked 4 months since our sweet little girl has earned her wings. We find comfort in knowing that she is with God and taking care of so many other little children who have earned their wings-she loved little kids & always just wanted to see them smile. Haley-Thanks again honey for continuing your magic, we miss you so much & hold you close each day babygirl. We pray everyday that you are surrounded by sunshine, rainbows, butterflies, happiness and the comfort of our Savior.
Love you 4ever&4always Haleygirl

Friday, we were blessed to have some friends purchase us tickets to attend the Brad Paisley, Sara Evans & Sugarland concert. What a nice time...each of them sing some very true songs that touch so close to home, the words in them hit ya right in the heart. Once again, thanks for making this night special for all of us.

I have to update on Hanna's foot, she is doing real well-she actually wore her cowgirl boots on Friday and has been back in shoes this weekend. I have to let you know through this whole ordeal with cancer...Hanna was there is so many different ways. One thing she was very good at was, she would take notes whenever a home nurse came, she would write down all of Haley's medicine, constantly asking if she could help & other times-just standing back because she didnt' want to be in the way. One thing she did while we were at St. Judes is wrote down a quote from one of the lab techs room-she just brought this to me today & I have to share it...I remember how much it meant when we read while we were there, but now it has a whole new meaning. Thank you Hanna for being such a sweet young girl. So as you read this & reread, take the time to reach within yourself & find your Faith if you haven't and don't be shy to share it with others-let God and others know how & what you feel.

Sayings & Blessing from the Lord

Right now it's hard to see how this chapter of your life is going to turn out but, rest assured our God is a God of happy endings. When you have a setback don't stepback God is preparing you for a comeback.

This is dedicated to all those families who have lost their child, to those families who are still fighting the beast and to those who are considered in remission.

YaGottaBelieve
The Mathis family

Thursday, October 20, 2005 11:50 AM CDT

I HEAR EACH TEAR FALL ON HER FACE

My Mom doesn't know I'm watching her
but I'm watching her just the same.
And I hear each tear fall on her face
at the very mention of my name.

She says it sounds like music to her ears
and can be heard over a crowd.
Oh, I hear each tear fall on her face
when my name is said aloud.

I watch her stumble through each day
as she wishes the day would end.
And I hear each tear fall on her face
as she talks of me to her friends.

But there are few who truly understand.
Oh this I've heard her proclaim.
And I hear each tear fall on her face.
Will my Mom ever be the same?

I know that her smiles light up a sky.
But I don't see that smile today.
Oh, but I hear each tear fall on her face.
Her blue skies have turned to gray.

Oh I send to her my warmest hug
with the rays of the morning sun.
Then, I won't hear a tear fall on her face.
For I shall erase them one by one.

Yes, my Mom doesn't know I'm watching her.
But I'm watching her just the same.
And if I hear a tear fall on her face
I'll just softly whisper her name!

- taken from another caringbridge site
unknown

This poem indicates my Mom, but this covers my Daddy & Sister Hanna too
XOXO's Angel Haleygirl

Monday, October 17, 2005 7:33 PM CDT

Hello to all...sorry I haven't updated in awhile-the emotions & the drive behind this are so messed up. Sometimes I close my eyes & just pray that when I open them....there will be my babygirl, smiling back at me & saying "I'm home Mommy". I can't begin to tell you how much I/we miss Haley-she is/was such a HUGE part of everyday, as are most of our children. Kevin & I didn't do much of anything outside of being with the girls and it is so hard to be in the yard, with Hanna on the swing, the quad, playing with the dogs. It just doesn't seem fair...but I know...what in life is fair. It is so hard to understand the WHY? But I'm not going to go on about all these emotions, I want to tell you what's been happen'.

First of all prayers go out to our friend Jeff as he had to Celebrate the life of his 13 year old(to be 14 tomorrow) daughter after an auto accident last week that took her & another young boy's life. Such a heart ache for him & his family. As well, another close family to us-The Klein's, Mike has been in the hospital for about 1 1/2 weeks, after falling at the Chiro's office & hit his head-he & his wife have 3 wonderful children. Please pray for them as well as extended family-Red & Marge, Dan, Sharon & Leah-we are praying for you all.

Hanna is doing pretty well with her foot, she has a big lump on the side(which will probably always be there now), but it doesn't slow her down from running, playing, riding etc. We just found out the other night that her basketball team has I guess split up, some advance on to a Spirit team & others just quit-so Hanna wasn't contacted by any of the members going up, so I guess she now has to find something else to keep her busy over the winter. I feel so bad for her sometimes, because she has missed so much over the last 2 years(wouldn't change that for anything), but she is now so far behind all of her friends when it comes to sports. I know there are worse things than this, so I don't dwell on it very long, she will be just fine-her friends so still be her friends regarless. She is doing well in school & wrote a remarkable story. I truly feel that her way of reaching out & talking will be through art & writing. She misses Haley so much. She is busy taking care of Comet for Haley:)

I can't Thank you enough for continuing to check in on us, I will update more often-just kinda been in a slump of go to work, come back home....work is going good by the way-I have had alot of people ask. My days go by so quick!

Continued prayers go out to too many CB families-I don't get by as much as I would like, but we pray for you all everyday. Keep the Faith & never stop believing!!!

Trust in God
Kevin, Patti, Angel Haley & Hanna too

Monday, October 3, 2005 7:31 PM CDT

**New pictures in the photo album finally...it took me a while to remember how to upload them. **

Well, I'm not sure where we left off with the last update, but I'm sure it had something to do with "how much we miss Haley". Everyday seems like a dream/game-how long can you go without seeing your daughter?? I know it is real-the way that I have made myself start to think is that each day is a day without Haley here with me/us, but each day is one day closer to being reunited with her in Heaven-this is the way that I have to look at it, because if I don't...there is no way I could get up each day, go to work, answer the phone etc.

The past week has been full of some pretty cool things and some not so pretty cool things-The front porch was decorated with 2 pumpkins for the girls...one for Angel Haley with a Halo coming from her backside and one for sweet Hanna-Bobby, Kathy & Tiff "Thank you SO much". I will get pictures out here of them, they are so cool. We also were treated to tickets to the Nebraska/Iowa game on Saturday...what a Great game to get to see. Hanna and I went down to the tunnel & she got to see just how darn BIG those players are and how much power they got when they give you 5:) It was a perfect day & we couldn't go without a HUGE "Thanks to Urban family". I had lots of emotions at this game, standing there with Hanna...wishing so bad that Haley would be right there with her-they never left each others side when we would do things like this & everything was so exciting, because we don't and didn't get to do too many things. Since Haley was diagnosed with cancer, we got to do so many more things because of wonderful friends. I remember being there a year ago with Haley for her 1st & last Nebraska football game-she loved it, her & her friend Addie got to go on the same day..9-11, I know that was a magical day for both those Angels.

Our weekend was finished with attending church in Holland, so that we could hear Hanna sing in a group of 4 kids..she did so good, even if we couldn't hear her all that well, she smiled & smiled and that was beautiful to me and to so many others I'm sure. We had a little ice cream social in the afternoon here in Panama and Hanna took a little tumble in a hole up in the park area, but kinda giggled, got up and walked around a little. Well she came over to me & indicated that her foot hurt a little where she fell on it, well guess what after x-rays this morning...she did indeed hurt it, she broke a bone in her foot. Poor thing, she did good over night and was fine going in this morning, of course it was a hurry up & wait type of day, but we have been through so much worse. I'm glad that they got her taken care of today, she now has to wear a boot on her foot for 3-6 weeks. I think she is taking to the TLC just fine-gosh after all this crap called cancer, you just don't realize the damage that will continue to be there for all involved.

Sometimes, Kevin & I feel that we have been penalized because we love our girls more than anything else. Everything we did was for these two and it always had to be equal or fair, because that's what we felt was right. During the past 2 years I thought about Hanna an awful lot-thinking of how unfair all the attention & treats were for Haley and now I can't help but to feel quilty for Haley, she gave up her life(not that she had a choice). What a mixed up, screwed up mess huh? On top of us loving our girls so much, they loved us back and told and showed us always-I know that not every family gets this.

May each of you continue to blessed with good health, lots of love, happiness, and a day filled with so many good memories. LiveSTRONG

In God WE Trust
Kevin,Patti,Angel Haley and Hanna

Halz-It's been a while since I have called you or heard that:) I can't believe that I/we have to keep moving through each day without you here sweetie...The words that I type can only be so much honey, I hold everything in my heart. You watch over all those little Angel boys & girls that are with you & without their parents okay?! As well watch over all your CB friends down here. We all love you so much babygirl~

Hugs & Kisses
LYF

Monday, September 26, 2005 6:06 AM CDT

Hi to all of our faithful visitors....sorry it has been awhile since I have typed an update-we are keeping busy with things I guess and missing our sweet little girl. So many things that remind us everyday of Haley or at least, something she would have said, wanted to do or did do. Hanna is doing pretty good, talking a little more about things she wants to do, needs to do or things that her & Haley did together. The memories are just starting to come to full force-those girls did everything together & we as a family did just about everything together. Very hard to face each day with that empty feeling.

Lots of things to share, but I want to include a few sites for you to stop by-ne/jakieboy, ne/skylarberry, ne/brooke, ne/lizziegirl, ia/kyle-these are just a few of the kids that we know or check in on that need your prayers right now. Continued prayers for each of these families as well as so many other CB families that are dealing with this fight.

As well,prayers to my friend Angie Elliott and her family as she and their boys deal with the loss of her husband Larry(37 years old) to this terrible disease-Larry had a 9 month battle with cancer.

I will try to get more pictures out here soon, more information on what's going on with us & of course updates on friends. Hanna is getting ready to get Haley's Comet enrolled in training class-this is something Haley was looking so forward to doing with Comet(she loved/loves that baby dog so much).

Thanks for continuing to follow our journey & remember to love those in your life

The Mathis family

Sunday, September 18, 2005 9:33 PM CDT

Hi everyone! Not much to update here, but thougth I would take the time to "Thank each of you"-for reading Haley's website, for the continued prayers and the entries. It is so nice to know that not only to you continue to stop by to see what's going on with us, but that you continue to talk about Haley has made a difference in your life. There are so many things that Haley believed in & felt others should do...one of course most of you know-is to sit to the dinner table and eat with your family-honesty/respect-share your thoughts with one another-attend church when you can & believe & know your Faith.

Hanna is keeping busy with school work, church and taking care of the dogs. She misses Haley the most here at home of course-this is where they spent all their time together. I know that with time they say it should get easier, but in Hanna's case-I'm afraid it will get harder for her-as she gets older & misses so many things with Haley....it will get very hard to understand. We talk so much all the time as if Haley were still here, so I'm sure some people think we are CRAZY!!! Guess what?? we kinda are & I guess you would be too.

This month Haley & I were going to be heading back to Mexico for her next round of juice(niacin, amino acids, vitamins B etc), we were looking forward to this-she was going to try to fly this time(even though she knew she hated it), we were going to take Monopoly & scrapbook & have 10 days of down time...well, I guess I will always have that to say-we we're going to do that. I will share a story of a man in Lincoln with you coming up who has been saved twice by the treatment in Mexico-I sometimes ask myself...why not Haley???? This man is the person who shared the information with us about Mexico. I will talk about this in my next update-probably on the 21st-3 months after Haley has left us.

LiveSTRONG
Kevin, Patti, Angel Haley & Hanna

**Haley-sweet love, we love you SO much & the heartache is still a strong pain & I want so bad to touch & talk with you. I miss your wonderful smile, voice, laugh, "bless you Mommy", jokes, stories, hugs, hand to hold, thumbs up, talk about school-over & over again(you loved this so much) special request for your food cravings.... the list goes on & on-Please know that I/we hold you close each day babygirl & are trying to put things together to carry your legacy on honey. Thanks for sending all the butterflies are way right now-the back yard is so full of them:)

Hugs & Kisses-FAF
Your family

Monday, September 12, 2005 9:37 PM CDT

Just a quick update to let everyone know that we are doing okay and Hanna is keeping busy with school work. She seems to enjoy 5th grade and is trying to distract herself by doing extra credit. She is doing good when we go places, at home she is lost without Haley here. It is hard to believe that 12 weeks ago we were settled in for a movie that Haley wanted to watch & hanging out with one another.

I got my new position at State Farm and am now working in the Human Resource Dept. with some old friends of mine-this should be a good fit for us all-I started today.

Ya know how I am on songs...today I heard Kenny Chesney's new one that will be out in November-Wow, it will make you cry. I'm not sure where they are getting all these songs, but the hit so close to home.

Thanks for the messages in the guestbook, they mean so much for us to read. Helen-Hanna didn't get what you mailed her, I'm not sure when you mailed it-let me know. Kelly-it is neat to hear that someone in your class is writing about Haley being there Hero-that she truly is!!!!

Continued prayers to each of you reading this.

Keep the Faith
The Mathis family

**Haley-sweet girl....Wow-you left a legacy that we are struggling with trying to complete. We have so many ideas, but it is so hard to put one foot in front of the other.....I don't know how you did what you did baby~You are so strong, you taught so many so much. **
Hugs & Kisses to the moon & beyond
Dad, Hanna & Mom

Tuesday, September 6, 2005 6:32 AM CDT

Wow-11 weeks of heartache...I can't begin to tell you how much of a challenge each day is for us. There is no right answer, no right smile, no right response to anything that we do-sorry in advance for not giving in return right now. I know how hard it is for us, so I'm sure it is difficult for others to approach us-we will be fine....we have lost a huge part of our family and our friend-this little lady had so much to give and share-it sometimes hurts so bad to wonder WHY?? I sometimes get to looking to far ahead, when its the right now that I need to worry about & the HOW are we going to get through this? I pray that more families are not going to be going through this pain, but I know that reality & truth tells me it will continue to happen until we change the belief in our country.

Our continued prayers go out to the families down South and to our whole country as this has caused a long term effect. God Bless the families in that area that have a child or family member with an illness, that had to relocate for medical treatment-we pray that the treatment you will be receiving is good or better than what you had. Many prayers go out to other families who are being faced with some very difficult days-may the sun shine on you all & give you quality memories & the Miracle that your child needs.

1 year ago we were recovering from brain surgery, getting ready for radiation & of course....the 1st day of school(it started late because of the tornado)-Haley & Hanna, had a Super start to this year & Haley did so well in her 1st year at Middle School-she was there for the first part of the year(she would have loved to be with her friends in 7th grade this year). This year is going okay for Hanna-she doesn't talk alot yet, but shares stories of things in the class that happen, so this is a start & we will work on the other things as they come. I have interviewed for a different position here at State Farm that will allow me to work Mon-Fri days only-so I cross my fingers that this position works out for me, my family and SF. Other than that everything else is confusing of course, but I wouldn't expect for it to be anything but that.

Thanks for your patience with us & the continued support of prayers, please say an extra prayer for yourself today "That God grant you all good things and that he bless you with Good health & happiness".

YaGottaBelieve
The Mathis family

**Haley my sweet little Angel-we love & miss you with each breath we take, I know that you are here with us, but miss your beautiful smile, voice, touch, laugh.....let me just say "We miss YOU". Stop by and visit your sister sweetie-she needs to feel your presence with her.
Love you FAF
Your family honey

Monday, August 29, 2005 6:41 AM CDT

Heard this song again & the words just hit so close to home, but in our situation....Miss Haley won't be given this opportunity. She had so many dreams to accomplish in her life & those were all taken away by this terrible disease & the treatments. This CD was given to Haley the day of her birthday party with Gary & Sue at Froggy 98(Thank you both so much-magical day). Haley loved to hear the song-I think the connection with emotions that were deep within Haley made this reality. **Haley sweet love-You dance away girlie-we love & miss you terribly bad baby. XOXOXO's

Rascal Flatts - Skin Lyrics

Sarah Beth is scared to death
To hear what the doctor will say
She hasn't been well
Since the day that she fell
And the bruise, it just won't go away
So she sits and she waits with her mother and dad
and Flips through an old magazine
Til the nurse with the smile
Stands at the door
And says will you please come with me

Sarah Beth is scared to death
Cause the doctor just told her the news
Between the red cells and white
Something's not right
But we're gonna take care of you

Six chances in ten it won't come back again
With the therapy were gonna try
It's just been approved
It's the strongest there is
I think we caught it in time

Sarah Beth closes her eyes
and She dreams she's dancing
Around and around without any cares
And her very first love is holding her close
And the soft wind is blowing her hair

Sarah Beth is scared to death
As she sits holding her mom
Cause it would be a mistake
For someone to take
A girl with no hair to the prom

For, just this morning right there on her pillow
Was the cruellest of any surprise
And she cried when she gathered it all in her hands
The proof that she couldn't deny

Sarah Beth closes her eyes
and She dreams she's dancing
Around and around without any cares
and her very first love was holding her close
and the soft wind is blowing her hair

It's quarter to seven
That boy's at the door
And her daddy ushers him in
And when he takes off his cap
They all start to cry
Cause this morning where his hair had been
Softly, she touches just skin

They go dancing around and around
Without any cares
And her very first true love is holding her close
For a moment she isn't scared...

Thanks for all the continued support of prayers

Continued prayers to all our friends who are still fighting this beast, to those who are in remission and to those families who have lost/won their battle. Extra prayers for Hanna-she is starting to really feel the empty void without her best friend/sister here with her. We love you Hanna-Always holding you tight babygirl XOXO's Dad, Haley & Mom

Angel Kisses
The Mathis family

Thursday, August 25, 2005 6:55 AM CDT

Saturday-Happy Birthday Nurse Kim!! We love you & hope your day was a nice one. Lots of Angel Hugs & Kisses from Haley & Big hugs from the rest of us

**There is a couple new different pictures in the photo album**

Ask my Mom how she is
My Mom, she tells alot of lies
she never did before.
From now until she dies,
she'll tell a whole lot more.
Ask my Mom how she is
and because she can't explain,
She will tell a little lie
because she can't describe the pain.
Ask my Mom how is she,
She'll say "I'm alright."
If that's the truth, then tell me,
why does she cry each night?
Ask my Mom how is she,
she seems to cope so well.
She didn't have a choice you see
nor the strength to yell.
Ask my Mom how she is,
"I'm fine, I'm well, I'm coping."
For Gods sake Mom, just tell the truth
just say your heart is broken.
She'll love me all her life,
I loved her all of mine.
But if you ask her how is she
she'll lie and say she's fine.
I am here in Heaven.
I cannot hug from here.
If she lies to you don't listen,
Hug her and hold her near.
On the day we meet again,
we'll smile and I'll be bold.
I'll say, "You're lucky to get in here, Mom
with all the lies you told!"

Angel Hugs & Kisses
Sweet Haley

A special Thank You to Barry-for stopping by to see Hanna at school yesterday!!! This really made her day & she talked about it all night long:)

Sunday, August 21, 2005 7:55 PM CDT

Friday-August 19th brought the 2 year mark of when Haley was diagnosed with Wilm's Tumor. Our lives were never the same & I won't say that it was all bad, because I know at Haley's age she carried some quilty feelings, because she thought her illness changed everything for the worse-so many times we would let her know that we would give up everything we owned to get her the medical treatment she needed. On August 19th 2003, we met some people who changed our lives 4-ever....Anisa was Haley's nurse in the clinic and than we met Kim one of her many nurses on the 6th floor(but the one that we just had to have everytime we were there) and Katie-who was at the time our CCP(she has now become a nurse"good job Katie"), Rob, Christy & Janet-Child Life Specialist and this list goes on.

Today Sunday August 21st marks the 2 months since our sweet girl earned her wings and flew away from this place. I will try to get one of the songs loaded on here that was sang for Haley at her service(I will get both of them in time), but this one talks about.....Looks out the window and thinks to herself-God if I had wings I'd fly from this hell, she's 12 years old and hangin on for dear life, fighting the demons day & night". Each day is new & completly a tough situation to face, but we are doing okay & just knowing that if Haley could get through each day as she fight for her life & being in all that pain....than we should just suck it up & do what our daughter taught us!!! Love those who are close to you & sometimes those who aren't, be good to one another & respectful, smile, care and listen.....just to name a few.

The following was the poem that we had read at Haley's service-I'm sure most of you have heard of it, but when you read it this time....think of sweet Haley & than put your life into perspective & make the changes today if you need.

THE DASH
April 10, 1993-June 21, 2005

I read of a man who stood to speak at the funeral of his friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone from the beginning....to the end.
He noted that first came the date of her birth and spoke of the second with tears,
but he said that what mattered most of all was the dash between those years.
For that dash represents all the time that she spent alive on earth,
and now only those who loved her know what that little line is worth.
For it matters not, how much we own; the cars, the house, the cash.
What matters is how we live and love and how we spend our dash.
So think about this long and hard, are there things you'd like to change?
For you never know how much time is left. (You could be at "dash mid-range.")
If we could just slow down enough to consider what's true and what's real,
and always try to understand the way other people feel.
And ... be less quick to anger, and show appreciation more
and love the people in our lives like we've never loved before.
If we treat each other with respect, and more often wear a smile,
remembering that this special dash might only last a little while.
So, when your eulogy is being read with your life's actions to rehash,
would you be proud of the things they say about how you spent your dash?

LiveLONG & LiveSTRONG

Thanks for all the love & prayers
With all our love
Kevin, Patti, Angel Haley & Hanna

**Haley, sweet girl I can't believe that it has been 2 months since I have talked with you, listened to you, held you, helped you, walked with you, sang with you, cried with you, laughed with you, ate with you, drank with you, brushed my teeth with you, danced with you, sang with you, sat with you, swang with you, joked and smiled with you. You remain our HERO, daughter, friend and family baby.....God and you will do amazing things together, continue to watch over us and pray for those friends fighting right now sweetie(they need you too).
Hugs & Kisses to the moon & beyond for you my sweet love
Dad, Mom & Hanna(yeah your babies too)

Wednesday, August 17, 2005 9:10 PM CDT

The 1st day of school was here today & we made it through the day-with lots of emotions, some smiles & praying lots. Haley of course is missed so very much & a day/event like today would have been one that she would have had everything ready for. Every year she was so ready to start the new year & be with her friends & teachers. Hanna, was brought to her toes by the door bell....yep, Dani our next door neighbor who started school today-ran across the front yard to get Hanna today. This of course brought a few smiles:) This was a distraction for Hanna(she had so one to look after).

Hanna is still being pretty quiet for the most part and doesn't want to talk about a lot of things. I know she was ready for school today-to see some friends & try to distract herself a little more, than just being at home. She is missing her sister real bad and I think(not sure) she just isn't sure if she should talk about her a lot or just be real quiet about Haley?

The emotions for us-are so mixed...I would prefer to stay inside the house & keep busy with stuff, Kevin-needs to be outside in the garden/yard. I can't even begin to tell you what this pain feels like. We have over the past 2 years shared some of our deepest thoughts and activities(which was kinda surprising, but it felt good to let those who cared so much about Haley know what was going on). Now, I know that people are moving on, getting back to their busy routine and I kinda just think that the interest/motivation is gone. When I used to write my entries..it was so heartfelt & strong, now I feel so weak all the time-when Haley left this place behind & moved on, she took SO much of me/us with her. I read Star's website and her Mom said it so real...everyday is a struggle, a pain, another day that you put on that smile and make it seem like you are doing okay, when truly inside you are melting away and asking yourself WHY????

Thanks for the many prayers that you continue to send our way, please also say an extra prayer for Haley tonight and let her know if she made a difference in your life at some point. Even before her diagnosis, she was an extremely caring young lady, who always thought of others and enjoyed everyday. God Bless all other families out there who are battling this terrible disease.

God Bless
The Mathis family

Good night sweet girl!!! May the bright lights shine all day for you sweetie. With all our love & kisses

Monday, August 15, 2005 12:45 AM CDT

I finally put a few newer pictures on a slide show...I promise to get some of the more recent ones from May to June out here.
Today Haley is having a birthday party with her Aunt Tammy I'm sure, so I hope she is not to busy to check in with us & watch over us!!

Sorry I have been bad with the updates lately, so much is going on & not enough time in the day to get anything done. Well-I do get a lot of crying in somehow, I tell you what I think that once this dumbness starts to fade a little the actual pain really starts to kick in-we miss Haley so much & it is so hard to go through each day without her physically in our arms & house.

Hanna is trying to get ready for school-Thanks to some special people who went and purchased Hanna's school supplies for her(this helped me out so much-I can't imagine what it would feel like to go to the store to buy items & only buy them for Hanna), they saved me a lot of public tears. Hanna is actually looking forward to school starting-I'm sure it is to give her some structure to try to ease the pain. She is so lonely, she is just not to sure what to get involved with at this point. I know how very strong my pain is, but can only imagine how tough this is on Hanna & can imagine what pain she will feel & go through as she gets older & older(so many dreams & plans the girls had/have).

We spent a few hours the other night with the Brestels(Josh's parents) and had some good conversations-what a tough, screwed mess we and so many other parents/families are in-when you talk about your child and the short life that they spent with us here. Please pray for families that are currently going through treatment, those who have lost their sweet babies and those who are currently in remission.

Thanks for checking in on us and keeping not only Haley, but our family close to heart.

To all the Norris teachers, staff, and students-please live each day with the best of intentions, love & support for those around you-Please never forget sweet Haley and her warm smile & respect for all those around her-she will be there at Norris in SPIRIT!!! To those who are there to support Hanna-she as well, is going to need support in a different way-I know she is probably hoping that this year goes real low key & kinda normal....but please don't forget her & say "Hi" so that you can be blessed with her contagious SMILE as well:)

LiveSTRONG
Kevin, Patti, Angel Haley & Hanna

**Halz-What can Mommy say? We love you so much sweet girl, we miss you more & more everyday and we pray that you are safe and settled in. We wish so bad that we were able to do so many things with you, but now we will have to do them for you. So we are trying to piece some things together to continue to Legacy that you left baby. Please watch Hanna closely honey, she misses you SO much Hay, as well watch over all your friends who are in the hospital or waiting for results.
XOXO's babygirl

Sunday, August 7, 2005 9:38 PM CDT

Well let me tell you...I tried to get pictures out here, but WOW-that is really a hard thing to do. It used to be so different because "we had Haley right here", now I was looking at pictures on the camera(that we hadn't seen yet) and that hit you in a different way. It hurts so ---- bad that, I feel like we just lost her & the pain is starting over again-All three of us & comet sat her tonight and cried and cried. I wish so bad that I could bring my little girl back & give her the life that she deserves, she had so much to offer & share....she was/is truly beautiful, smart, loving, caring, thoughtful, gentle, giving, talented, strong....my list could go on forever.

One of many to come 13th birthday's was celebrated this weekend-Happy birthday Tori, we hope your day was special. As well 2 very special friends from Children's Anisa & Rob-celebrated their birthdays too, we hope that their day was special.

When you are handed your baby after you have given birth to them, who in their right mind would & could ever imagine that something as sick as CANCER could take them from you?? This disease is terrible & is happening to more & more children in just our local area, I have heard of 4 kids that have relapsed in the Lincoln area and a couple new children that have been diagnosed. Please pray for these families and the for the Dr's and nurses at Children's in Omaha, because this is where these children will and are being treated. The care of the people that they meet will hopefully be like ours-we were lucky to have such a Special nurse who Haley & us loved from the very 1st day(which Anisa we still remember as if it were yesterday) and this nurse loved Haley right back(and it showed). From the front desk(Sandy & Cindy), to Child Life(Christy, Rob & Janet), to radiology(you know who you are), to the wonderful 6th floor(we miss you all)-Kim, Thanks for being there on that very first day-Haley was so lucky to have you be there for her, to the surgeons, Dr L-who took a liking to Haley & her in return(we will be in contact with you). To the wonderful friends we met over at Methodist(who made radiation what it was for her), Haley made these places a home away from home. The pictures that I have been looking at and will get out here, just tell such a story of a strong, fun loving young lady & the FIGHT for her life....how sad is that

I promise to get some pictures out here soon, because we have some real neat/special ones that you will like to see & yes they will make you smile:)

May you have the wonderful relationship with your sweet children as Kevin & I have with our daughters.

Keep skylarberry/ne, lizziegirl/ne, brooke/ne in your prayers as they are all facing some very difficult days ahead.

LiveSTRONG

Angel Haley's #1 fans

**Haley-babygirl we miss you as I said more & more, and I can't wait to hold you & touch you again sweetie. Keep a close eye on your sister as I am getting worried about her honey, she misses you soooooo much. We love you forever & for-always baby
Hugs & Kisses

Friday, August 5, 2005 5:16 AM CDT

What happens when there is nothing you can physically do to protect your child? When illness or disaster puts life out of your control? You do the best thing you can do. YOU PRAY. You pray that the One who gave you your precious child will protect her/them in miraculous ways. You ask that your child always be wrapped in the arms of the Savior, especially when your arms are out of reach.

But don't wait until disaster strikes to pray. Start praying for protection for your child right now. Pray for your child's health. Pray for her/their safety. Pray for her/their salvation. While your're at it, you may also want to say a prayer of thanks.

With this in mind, please take the time to listen to your children and enjoy each day with them. Children-be good to your parents, listen to them and understand what they say.

Hanna had a Super week at Paint yourself silly-she has said many times "that Haley would have loved to have been there in person" and she is so right-Haley would have loved to have done that with Hanna. So many things that these 2 girls have been robbed of, but I will go into that some other time.

Kevin, Patti, Angel Haley & Hanna

**Haley Big butterfly kisses being sent to you sweet girl. We are missing you more & more everyday honey.
You are my sunshine baby:)
Love you F&Falways
Your family honey

Thursday, August 4, 2005 1:11 PM CDT

Just a quick note to those of you listening to the radio...Froggy 98, they are having their St Jude Country Cares marathon to raise money for St Jude. As many of you remember-we were brief patients of St Jude. This place is very BIG, overwhelming and wonderful all in one. Sue made a comment on the radio this morning & it was talking about....How they are working for the cure(the kids), where other facilities are working for the Pharmaceutical industries to make money(most of them don't even know it though).

Please if you can afford to donate any money...I was thinking $12.00 a month for 12 months(I'm sure they will accept any amount)-this is how old sweet Haley was when she passed away & seems like very little when you add it up. Just a thought okay, I know times are tough & there are lots of things that you could put your money towards, so please if you do make this donation....do it because you want to & can afford to do it!!!!

Thanks so much to all who have helped our family through this past 2 years and please know how very much you all mean to Haley & our family.

More pictures to come soon-I promise

God Bless
Angel Haley's family

Sunday, July 31, 2005 10:28 PM CDT

I don't have lots to type right now, we have had a rough time the past couple days....thinking & thinking & missing our sweet daughter/sister so much. I couldn't even begin to explain this pain-it is there always, but yes it fades a little while you are busy doing something, but than once you are done doing something(whatever it is)...you feel guilty and so sick to your stomach.

It is so hard for me to believe that it has been almost 6 weeks that I have been able to hold Haley, talk with her, help her do anything, listen to her & have her listen to me-this list just keeps going on. I know for some it is probably hard for you to realize that she is gone as well, for so many that past 8 months, Haley was gone alot going to radiation, St Jude and Mexico. As much as I would love to feel & know she was just gone for a little while, she is not & that hurts so darn bad. Hanna will be starting school without her sister in a couple of weeks(August 17th), the 19th of August was when Haley was diagnosed and than the 21st marks 2 months without her here with us-I know that these are going to be real tough for all of us to get through.

I will get new pictures of the girls out here and have more to type about later this week. Hanna will be going to art-camp with Jen from Paint yourself silly this week-I know she is looking forward to this-I hope it is good therapy for a little while.

Congrats to the Firth 15 & under team for taking 2 place in their tourneys-Haley & Hanna are so proud of you all:)

Please keep the prayers for strength, acceptance and healing come our way, but please as well include all other families who are in need of extra prayers right now.

If you haven't got to read the poem that Star's mom sent in the questbook about My surviving Mom-please do...the words are so true, I'm sure it could have only been written by someone who has went through this or known someone very special to them.

May God and Haley be with you as you face your new day

The Mathis family

**Haley-missing you bunches & hurting so much. Thanks for teaching us so much & continuing to show us the way....you are 1 million & than some sweet girl, we love you so much & send bundles of hugs & kisses to you everyday.
Sleep tight honey, take care of all your friends & continue to look over us okay. Never forget you are just a heartbeat away baby.
XOXO's
Dad, Hanna & Mommy too

Sunday, July 24, 2005 9:14 PM CDT

Hey everyone it is good to know that so many of you are still checking in on us & sending prayers for our healing & strength to over come such a HUGE loss. I can't even begin to tell you how much that the prayers mean & how BIG of a loss and heartache this is...I know that too many families are having to face this terrible heartbreak. I do know that I'm glad that Haley taught us to always have Faith in knowing that we would beat this beast, 2 reasons why...the 1st one being-Haley did WIN, you just have to look at it the right way...the 2nd one is if we would have focused on losing her & not winning-we would have missed so much of the last 2 years & I would feel even worse now(if that's possible). Please continue the prayers for us but as well please add a couple friends that I checked in on tonight. Brooke/ne, Lizziegirl/ne and Skylarberry/ne, these are just a few.

As for everything else I'm going to try to go in order of events....Friday night we took Hanna to see "Sugarland"-All I can say is "WOW-they are wonderful", Thanks to everyone who made this possible. This was such a Super concert, we got to meet Jennifer, Kristin & Kristian & they are such a neat group of people. For those of you who were there you know that Gary Greenwood from Froggy 98 got up and made some announcements & talked about how we were special guest to the group, when were backstage before they went up & give them thumbs up & blew them kisses & they did right back with huge smiles on their faces. The concert itself was Great, they have good stage performance and they sang two songs that mean so much to us...Something more & of course Babygirl, which Hanna and two other little girls were able to go up on stage & sing with Jennifer-At first she dedicated this song to her little friend Hanna and than Sandy took Hanna to the stage to go sing with Jennifer...this moment was one that you could never forget-it was such a teary moment thinking of sweet Haley-who loved to sing this song and for Hanna who is left behind without her best friend/sister and watching her up on stage-WOW. Right after this was over we looked up & in the sky was 1 red balloon floating:)

Saturday was the 12 & under Finals and the girls did it, they took 1st place, a couple of them had indicated how they wanted to do this for Haley & that means sooooooo much to us, I truly hoped that she helped them do it, but I hope they did it for themselves & their team which included Haley(even though she wasn't able to play), believe me she wanted to!! Thanks to the coaches for working with us over the past 2 years for both girls, we know it wasn't easy not knowing when we would be there & when we wouldn't and for the parents who just let us do our thing & try to fit in the best we could-Super group of people/friends.

So now after that all being said, it has not only been a hard month, the past couple weeks with going back to work, cancer camp(that Haley wanted to go to), my birthday & softball-it has been in fast forward & haven't had a lot of time to think much. So reality is setting in again that Haley is not going to be calling us soon & telling us how she is doing, or writing a letter from camp or walking in the back door. These are things that you should miss when you lose your Grandparent not your sweet young child.

Kevin made a comment that really is sticking with me, because I'm surpirse that I said it, but I was talking about the past couple weeks & how hard they have been....and guess what? What was I talking about....Haley & other children fighting know what hard is, the rest of us think we do, until you are stuck with a needle everyday(in Haley's case sometimes 3 a day), surgeries, Chemo that is supposed to get rid of the bad, but damages the good too and makes you sick, radiation treatments, oral meds, IV sticks, IV medicines, tubes coming out ever hole in your body, the list just continues on & I felt so bad for saying that...I myself have watched Haley go through all of this & just lost my sweet girl & I make a comment how hard the past couple of weeks had been on Hanna....Wow....

On the note above-to each family fighting, we are praying hard for you, to those families who have sent your child home to be with the Lord(I don't care the time frame/recent of years ago, I wish I could help ease your pain & bring you sweet child back, but the only thing I can tell you is that my babygirl is up there with your child & getting to know each of them), and to those families who haven't had to experience a pain & nightmare as this, we pray for you too, that you will not have to go through this and that you enjoy each day as it was your last.

God Bless
Kevin, Patti, Angel Haley & Hanna

**Babygirl, Wow you have left behind so many things that I keep running across & it makes me just hurt so bad that you are not here to share those things with us. We hope that you heard us singing to you on Friday night with Sugarland and Thanks for being there for your sister and the Firth team on Saturday. A year ago you were done with camp & being told that your cancer had spread to your brain, so you would be going in for brain surgery-do you remember asking Dr G several times if & when he would check from head to toe??? and he replied it doesn't go to the brain, well guess what it did and to your spine and your leg etc huh honey. I'm so sorry sweet girl that you had to fight so hard not to win a softball game, but to save your darn life, this isn't fair and I hope that inside you feel in a weird way that you WON sweetie-the cancer can no longer take over any part of your body. You are not only a HERO in our eyes but to so many people baby. Sleep tight tonight honey-fafa:)

XOXO's
Dad, Hanna, Mom & your dogs

Thursday, July 21, 2005 10:12 PM CDT

Well here we are 1 month after Haley earned her wings & parts of it feel like she left yesterday and others feel like I haven't been able to talk with, hold or touch her for a real long time. On top of knowing that Haley earned her wings on June 21st-today happened to be my birthday & it hurt so much going to bed last night & waking this morning. I miss my daughter soooooo bad & I can't even get the point across on the computer as too how deep the pain is, but yet how good it feels to talk about her(Thanks to those who talk about her). She makes me smile & cry all in one thought.

I will move onto sweet Hanner Nanner....they played against the other Firth team & both teams had a Super game(played hard & had fun). Hanna & Haley's team advance & will be playing for the Championship in the 12 & unders on Saturday!!!! This also means that they do not have to play tomorrow-which is perfect since we were taking Hanna away for the night. We were blessed with some very GREAT friends(Thanks Lori & family), who had the right connection & who made Friday night happen for us. We will be meeting "Sugarland" & enjoying their concert in Beatrice. Haley knew who this group was before they were real well known & of course who can't just love their 1st release "Babygirl"?! We are doing this to see Hanna smile & to honor Haley-she would & will be there with us.

Another thing that made last night real hard, was that Haley would have physically been going to camp with her friends yesterday....Anisa called last night & we had a Wonderful heart to heart(Anisa-you know I needed that). To those very dear friends of Haley's (Morgan, Lizzie & Kayla)-I heard about the balloon release that you did for Haley at camp with the other girls in your cabin...God Bless each of you for being such good friends to Haley & being so thoughtful to let her know right where you were last night. She will be there with you all, but in a different spirit okay..Have fun for Haley, but mostly for yourself:) Jenny, Thanks for helping Morgan put this together-we miss you guys & love you all dearly.

Thanks to some very special friends today...Christy, Nicole, Keri, Anne & Julie-you girls are Super friends. To Haley's special friends & parents for the birthday wishes-you girls mean soooo very much to her & she loves you dearly.

To Kevin & Hanna-Thanks so much for making my day special, we shared lunch together, the gifts you got were priceless as you know, going to watch Hanna play softball with friends and just the love that you show me.

LiveSTRONG
The Mathis 4

**Haleygirl, Thanks for making me smile today-you & Hanna are my heart & soul baby. Hanna-says thanks for being there at the game tonight & she says that they are going to WIN this one for YOU #40!!!! So be ready to Celebrate on Saturday okay. I know how bad you wanted to be here for this day along with so many other days, but you know that when I'm done down here we will be having lots of parties together okay. Hugs & Kisses to you tonight, just like any other night.
XOXOXO's
Your family

Tuesday, July 19, 2005 10:47 PM CDT

Hanna is playing in the 12 & under tournaments & so far they are doing real well-keep up the good work girls.

Last night & today were very hard days....4 weeks ago our sweet girl left us for a far much better place & the pain that we are feeling without her is so strong.

Not much happening here besides for ball games & work. I will update on how Hanna's team does this week & on Thursday I will let you know what we are doing on Friday...we are taking Hanna somewhere for the night.

Thanks for the continued prayers-we always needed them before to help Haley continue to fight & now these prayers are needed for the 3 of us that are left here without our Haleygirl.

Sending prayers out to all our friends who are fighting right now, to those who are in what they like to call remission & those who are in heaven with Haley. We Love you all!!!

Don't forget to have more patience with your children/siblings and treat your parents with respect kids they truly love you & are doing their best in this world to give you what you need....LOVE!!! Without that you don't really have much do ya?

LiveSTRONG
Kevin, Patti, Angel Haley & Hanna

**Haley-the past 4 weeks have been so tough, I know the pain is so different compared to what you had to go through-this pain in our chest(heart) and body just gets stronger sweetie. I'm so sorry that you had to go through so much crap & for so long and that you didn't receive the Miracle that you were looking for. You truly are our HERO honey-you always were & you always will be!!! You sister is doing the best she can to keep busy, smile & have some fun, but she has said it is not the same & never will be without you right here at her side. Keep looking down on us & give us a Big Hug soon okay? With all our love babygirl...nite nite**

XOXO's
Your #1 fans

Sunday, July 17, 2005 9:22 PM CDT

Thank you so much for all the entries for Hanna. She played very well at the Finals & her team took 2nd place. She had fun & learned more with each play & that is so important. She told me that her sister was there & ya know what I know she was. Thanks Haleygirl!! Hanna had the BIGGEST fan club there on Saturday night, Thanks to so many of you who showed up to cheer her & her team on....it meant so much to Kevin & I, as well as Haley & Hanna to have you all there.

Hanna is now moving on to the 12 and under tournaments this week, so she will playing her 1st game tomorrow night for that. This is the team that her & Haley would have been playing on together-I feel so bad that this didn't get to take place even for 1 game, but there our worse things to hold onto & I will get over that. Good Luck to all the 12 & under girls this week-Have Fun & play hard.

The emotions are really screwed up right now, I can't believe that Haley has been gone for almost 4 weeks and she was looking so forward to Celebrating the 4th of July & Celebrating my birthday. She always loved to make birthday cards for us & ya know what...those cards mean so much & there is no card or letter you can buy that would even come close to those cards she made. She was & is such a thoughtful young lady(but I know you all know that by now).

I again really don't have lots to say, not sleeping real good, back to work, dealing with all the other stresses that we let get to us in this life. One thing to remember is that cancer loves stress & for some stupid reason we let everything get to us.

We will update more later this week about Hanna's game and try to put some pictures out here of the girls.

Ya Gotta Believe
The Mathis family

**Haley sweet girl, we love you & miss you more than you can imagine(well I take that back I know you can imagine the pain), but we will some how learn to deal with our emotions, we are just at peace honey knowing that you are not having to be put in the hospital, or hooked up to machines, or going through treatments...ya know what that nasty list goes on & on. You truly are our HERO & I know you know this because I told you lots, but really sweetheart you set standards that many of us will never reach...but we will try our hardest to continued where you left off okay?! Love you more than anything in this world(you & Hanna), love you babygirl.

Nite-Nite my love

Thursday, July 14, 2005 10:09 PM CDT

Hello to all, sorry we haven't updated lately...lots of things happen. I started back to work yesterday(it was hard, but I think I did good), so did Kevin & Hanna-but they were ready to see me when I got home. I had to make a couple tough phone calls in regards to changing coverage on my Health Insurance-removing Haley from there, changing beneficiaries etc, that was very hard to talk about on the phone to these ladies and just didn't feel right at all.

Hanna's 9 & under team started tournaments this week & after playing some good/hard games they are in the finals this Saturday-so please if you could(I know I ask this last year, type Hanna a couple notes to bring her good luck on Saturday)-Thank you!!! She is trying real hard, not only for herself, but for Haley....she wants to win this for her sister & ya know what I pray that she does. I know that it is just a game, but this is something the girls have played together since they were very little & Hanna looks up when going to bat & outfield....because she knows Haley is looking down at her saying "Come on Hanna-you can do it or Good job Hanny I knew you could!!!"
Good Luck to all the Firth girls & Hopefully to the Hickman team-who probaly will play us again on Saturday-it will be a Super game played with Great friends.

As for everything else....the emotions are crazy, I do okay when I'm at work, but cry my heart out on the way to and from work. It sucks so bad, to know that I will not get to hug my sweet girl when I get home, or watch Food Network with her, swim, sing songs together, eat dinner together as a family, go see a movie, putt-putt golf, paint yourself silly, church, the first day of school, field trips, conferences, skating, sporting events, carnivals, the last day of school, going for a walk picking mulberries, walking the puppies, the garden ....can you see the list goes on & on......and the more I think about it, the worse I get-she was robbed of so many things & we as a family have a broken link, that will be replaced one by one as the Lord calls us home but this doesn't make it any easier right now.

I will update more this weekend after Hanna's game & to talk a little more on Miss Haley and medical issue than.

With love to all who are reading
Kevin, Patti, Angel Haley and Hanna

Haley-sweet love, Thanks for watching over us & sending your love to all your friends fighting and their families. We miss you more & more everyday & are trying our best sweetie. At this time a year ago you were getting ready for camp-remember that...WOW how can we forget, if you want to read about camp last year go to the past journals & read right around July 18-21st. Honey I know your friends will miss you next week, but I hope that they know you will be right there with them in spirit. Lots of Love to you tonight & every night honey
Hugs & Kisses
your family

Thursday, July 7, 2005 11:12 PM CDT

Update please stop by Addie's site as she has earned her wings and offer her family some words. addiemarie/ne

Hello to everyone. I want to start off by telling Haley "Thanks for being there at Hanna's game tonight". The Firth girls played and had a Great time together with their coaches:) Hanna played real well & had a Super hit(boy did this make her smile)-Haley, I know that you were right there with her-I could just feel it. Today started off a little crappy and I wasn't sure how Hanna would play tonight, she really misses her sister and is having lots of different emotions. Thanks to all of Hanna & Haley's friends for treating Hanna the same & continuing to make her smile & talk about her sister.

Lots of emotions for Kevin & I-mainly I can speak for myself, but I know that the reason I am able to smile at the girls game & when we are with such good friends-#1, because they are such good friends, but the other is because Haley is making me do this. She never wanted anyone to feel down and would want you to enjoy each hour of each day, as we have found out you just never know what the next may bring. Therefore, Love more than you ever thought you could and give more than you ever thought was possible and truly take each day as a gift here on earth. Big things follow once you are done here, but while you are here-take the time to really enjoy and show those you care for how you feel.

Next step is to talk about all these poor children and their families.....too many children relapsing and not being able to beat this terrible disease. I will bring up just a few that I read about tonight, please stop by and sending them a few lines- Emily in AZ, Brooke in NE, Lizzie in NE, Addie in Ne, Skylarberry in NE, Matthew in Canada. These are just a few so please pray for all children until I can check in on more of our friends.

The other thing to talk about is the disease itself-Please know that Haley truly ran out of time and her Liver is what failed her-now the question is-what & why did her Liver fail????? Some could say-Cancer, well others could say the toxicity of the Chemo, the disease and radiation. My answer is all of them. I want you to know that the night Haley earned her wings and went home, none of us thought that this was to take place. She was at 9:00 pm asking where we needed to go for a Liver transplant from one of us(which we had talked about) and that I had called Mayo clinic on-at the point Haley was at, she was to damaged. But believe me when I say she/I never thought she was leaving us when she did. So what is my point, you never give up!!!! And this is something that Haley never did, she hung on until the Good Lord came & knew that he could not grant her the Miracle she was asking for. So now as we sit back her missing her so much, we ask the question-Who is in a better place??? Well once again we know the answer to that!!! Just as Haley did, I/we will not give up, so many things to do for her and others. We do plan on making a big difference in this world & we will get this done. As well one other thing is we could have lived in such a huge fear from August 19, 2003 wondering if today was the day vs. living each day doing the things that we loved to do and not focusing in on the Dr's words as of December 7, 2004-stating that there was nothing more to do for Haley and that this disease would take her life soon. It's not a matter of whose right & whose wrong, it is a matter of Pride and a childs life-so lets all get together & think outside the traditional box-to know that there is more to be done & it is not neccessarily in the drug field!!

I could go on forever talking about how much this has made an awareness of so many hidden things and I will over time but it is getting late.

Thank you so much for checking in on us and all the prayers that are still being sent up for Haley & our family as we face each day differently.

God Bless each of you
LiveSTRONG
Kevin, Patti, Angel Haley & Hanna

Haley-babygirl, we are missing you so much sweetie-thinking of you always, talking about you lots & just feel your presence with us. We know that you are truly "Safe" now & that you will be waiting for us & as we told you, we will get there when our chores are through. Of course, we never say Good-bye, as it is and will always be "See ya Later".

XOXO'S honey
Mom, Dad, Hanna & the Dogs

Monday, July 4, 2005 0:18 AM CDT

Happy 4th of July to all & to our sweet Babygirl. It has been a pretty emotional week for all of us. We miss Haley so much and it is so hard to not touch her, hold her, talk with her in person, lean on her for support and those listening skills of hers.

We have tried to get together with a few friends/family and it was with mixed emotions. We had a very nice time, but I felt like we were cheating on Haley-since she was not personally there. It was very helpful to see her friends and visit with the girls-that will always make it a little easier for me to have them talk about her.

Hanna has been trying to keep plenty busy-she has enjoyed seeing everyone and had fun doing some fireworks to send up to her sister.

We released red, white & blue balloons yesterday to Haley with lots of words written on them-I hope they made you smile sweetie:)

Thanks to everyone who invited us over to Celebrate the 4th with their families, sorry we couldn't make it to all of your homes.

Hanna played in her softball games last week and really had a nice time being with friends, it helped her to know that Haley promised to always be at her games cheering Hanna & her friends on.

I have lots of things to get taken care of but will be heading back to work either later this week or probably the beginning of next week. It will be another hard step to take, but I hope that it easier this time than last, when Haley was at home & was so sick(that was a terrible pain), I just hope that Hanna does okay & hope that she knows I'm only a phone call away when I'm at work.

Please send extra prayers out to all the other children and families that are battling this beast. We pray daily & Haley is now watching over all of you-she won't ever have to worry about leaving someone out of her prayers, she knows each of you all to well.

God Bless each of you
The Mathis family

Haley-keep smiling sweetie and always watch over us & try to help us get through each day without you physically here with us. Reach down & give us a BIG hug okay?!
Love you babygirl-Oh yeah speaking of babygirl, Sugarland is coming to Beatrice and I might try to get your sister tickets to go see them-I think it would make her smile:)
See you real soon honey

Tuesday, June 28, 2005 10:03 PM CDT

Hello all, it has been a very long week and we are missing our Haleygirl sooooooo much!! The only time in her life that she was away for this long-was last year at Cancer camp and it was so hard to let her go, but she had so much fun & was looking forward to going this year. I guess I will look at it as if she is at camp forever now. I wish I could say that we are doing good, really I think we are putting on a pretty good show(that's what I feel it is like). I know the families who have been through this know what I am saying when it takes all your energy to wash the dishes, go outside, answer the phone etc. I would/could go all night long for days with Haley, but doing this other stuff just doesn't seem all that inviting to me.

The pain is so strong that at times, you just feel like the wind has been knocked out of you. We have smiled and visited with friends & I think we have done very well while doing this. I know that Haley wouldn't want for me to just keep crying and crying-but she would be the first one to give me a hug & tell me it would be okay(Thanks sweetie). Hanna is doing pretty well, we have gotten her to go swimming a little bit, she is helping out here and playing with the dogs. She will probably try to get back with the ball this week-Haley will be so Happy:)

Tonight-Haley was honored at the Little Green Track Classic. Jerry is such a Super guy & he was so honored to have us be able to come and accept this for Haley(as hard as it was, we couldn't have missed it). Haley and Hanna were members of the Little Green for years.

I don't have lots of words right now, just trying to adjust to each new day. We talk with Haley everyday and continue to smile right back at her for the WONDERFUL 12 years, 2 months and 11 days that she gave us to hold onto forever.

From a family still at loss with words
Kevin, Patti, Angel Haley & Hanna

Haley-sweet girl, you know that we talk with you everyday-but Mommy always told you that I would type notes on here to you as well. We miss you so much babygirl & are just knowing that you are pain free and helping upstairs with all those other little boys & girls. Comet has been missing you all week sweetie, it has been hard on her as well-she keeps waiting & watching for you.
Sleep tight honey-See ya later "K"
Mom, Dad, Hanna, Daisy, Owen & Comet too

Sunday, June 26, 2005 11:35 PM CDT

Hello to everyone. Kevin, Hanna & myself are doing okay-missing our sweet girl more than anything. The Celebration/service on Friday was just perfect. Thanks to all who showed Haley your love. To all those who helped prepare things and to those who sang the day of-we can never repay you for this...Thank YOU!!! This day was so very hard to handle and understand. Haley-we hope that you enjoyed seeing everyone not only at your service, but all over wearing your colors.

Since Friday, we have been trying to deal with emotions and have talked with Haley lots. We know that she is watching over us and trying to help us understand. Hanna is getting a little better each day(starting to see that wonderful smile a little more & more)-I hope Hanna doesn't ever feel quilty for smiling, this is something I truly feel is happening because her sister is making her smile(Thanks Haley). As for Kevin & I, I think we are doing good right now-I really can feel lots of different emotions getting ready to burst.

I/we miss Haley so much, the physical appearance of her with me, hurts so much. We spend a little time with Kris, Ali & Wyatt before they left on Saturday-Thanks for making all 4 of us smile(I know that Haley didn't miss anything that day).

Please know that we will always continue to update this site, we have so many plans that Haley has ask us to work on & things that we just feel we will need to do. I hope that you all feel the same as we do when we say "Haley truly won this battle, she just ran out of time". We know in our hearts, that if we would have gotten the treatment in Mexico much earlier in this nasty game-Haley most likely would have overcome this battle.

For those of you who haven't been affected by this disease yet(notice I say yet), you will be in some way....The government is holding out on us & as you have read there are way TOO many angels out there. As for the statement we must find a cure....GUESS what-we have the cure, but we are just to closed minded to see it & until we all pull together & put an end to this ongoing death sentence-it will only get worse. One thing Haley will pass on, is treat your body right-educate yourself on eating, exercise, rest & self healing. These are some of the things that will make the difference. As the FDA sits there and puts up new road blocks, we must be the ones to fight & bring them down.

Thanks for all the continued support

LiveSTRONG
Kevin, Patti, Angel Haley & Hanna

Haleygirl-Goodnight sweetheart, we are so very proud of you & we will continue to make this world a better place because of YOU!!! You make sure & check in with us & always make sure we continue to Love. I miss you so much babygirl-but know that you are only a heartbeat away.

Hugs & Kisses

Wednesday, June 22, 2005 10:45 AM CDT

Oh my Stars-this pain is so hard!!!! I can't begin to tell you how heartbroken we are. We are such a mess and we miss our sweet babygirl so much. Haley we know that you will always be with us, but it is so hard to not have your shoulder to lean on, your wonderful listening skills to listen, your heart & strength to ease the pain and that smile of yours to take my breath away. Honey-we know that you are listening to us & watching, we need you to wrap your arms around your best friend & sister, she is so lost and hurt right now and you would be the one for her to turn to honey. We love you sweetie and will talk with you again real soon.

For those of you wanted to know when the service is being held it will be on Friday June 24 at 10:00 at Lincoln Berean Church location is 6400 S 70th street(70th & Hwy 2). There will be a lunch provided after the service.

The main thing that I need for you to know & PLEASE honor is the fact that Haley(even at the age of 12) had so much to do with the preparation of this, so we need you to know that she wanted to make sure that there were NO dresses or NO suits to be wore. Her request is that people dress casual and that they honor her with her favorite colors(and school colors) of Red, White and Blue-as well she wants it to be known that she would love to have baseball caps or visors wore-she spent alot of time wearing these and just wants this day to be no different than any other, so pleae make sure that this message gets to those who are wanting to attend.

I have lots to do, so I won't continue to go on, but please say an extra prayer for Hanna as she has truly lost the most important person in her life and it is going to be soooooo hard for her. Prayers for Kevin and I as we try to understand what has truly happened and where we go from here, but we do know that Haley has ask us to carry her name on by doing lots of different things and in time these things will happen.

God Bless each of you
The Mathis family

Tuesday, June 21, 2005 5:34 AM CDT

I can't believe that we are having to type what I am about to say.....
I am at a loss for words right now, but we are with the heaviest hearts parents and a sibling could carry. This morning our sweet daughter/friend earned her angel wings.

I don't have much to share at this point, this is truly something that our family didn't think we would need to face-Haley was & is so darn strong & we just knew that she would be the Miracle girl.

Last night Haley informed me that she wanted me to type only this on her website-"Good night to all and Thank you for the prayers for her". Love Haley

May God be with our family as we have such a huge void in our lives and not really sure what morning will bring for us with Hanna.

God Bless
The Mathis family

Haley-our sweet love, we miss you so dearly and know that this void will never be repaired, but we are at peace with the fact that you are in the right hands and have NO more pain honey.

Good night babygirl, we love you forever and for always...Mom, Dad and Hanna

Monday, June 20, 2005 1:18 AM CDT

I will try to update more later, but Haley is still fighting hard to overcome this battle and she & Hanna made Kevin's Fathers Day!!

She has enjoyed her visitors(girls she loved having you & your parents come over-you are such super friends) and gets very tired, but always makes sure & Thank them for coming to see her. She is still having pain and with giving her the morphine-we aer putting her back on oxygen at night.

We were all able to go to Harrops and get in the pool tonight....Haley really enjoyed the water and it made her smile so much.

I ask the Lord to watch over my/our sweet girl tonight and bring her peace with her pain. May tomorrow morning we all wake to smiling at each other and enjoying "One more day together".

Thanks for all the entries(Morgan, Haley loves you too and is Thankful that she has such a Super friend & her family praying hard along with so many others-she does hold that pillow tight).

Will update after counts tomorrow(we pray with better news)
God Bless
The Mathis family

Friday, June 17, 2005 7:29 PM CDT

I hate cancer & am so darn mad that any child should have to deal with this terrible disease!!!! Please pray for the Miracle that Haley is needing as she fight for her life!!!!

As I indicated a couple entries ago, I wasn't sure what I would update & when. At this point there are many of you people that I would love to call, because you have meant so much to Haley & our family over the past 2 years ( for some), but there is no way that I can do this.

Haley is having alot of issues right now and we are not sure what her near future holds. She has talked alot to us since last night & she is needing medication for pain and we have talked/cried lots as a family.

Haley went for her counts yesterday and they came in just as last time-going the opposite direction we need them to go, she has lots of swelling, pain in areas and bleeding issues that we are dealing with. Haley knew that she must go to see Hanna play softball last night & she didn't want to wait till next week(I'm not sure if she knows something or not), but she was there for both games & yelled for her sister & got to see some Great friends:) Thanks to those who came over to visit with us.

I guess at this point instead of a million phone calls, we would like it for you to email if you choose & we will read emails off to Haley & Hanna.

This is a very hard time for Hanna-as she sits helpless like Kevin & I, watching Haley go through all of this.

I'm afraid that the next time I type an entry it will be one that I have fought off for so long, but only Haley & and her Savior know what & when that will be. As long as Haley is willing to stay here & be with us, we will keep moving forward with & for her.

Prayers tonight are for Haley peace with this disease, that she doesn't have any pain, that we can decrease the swelling some & that she knows how much she is loved & how much she has giving not only us as her family, but so many others. And for all of you who have fought so hard for Haley to overcome this battle(its not over yet), but is getting more complicated as I type-may each of you find comfort in knowing how much Haley & us have appreciated all the support you have given....She LOVES you!!!

Haley my/our sweet first born daughter-I LOVE YOU F & F babygirl....Hanna-Love You sweet girl, F & F to you honey

Ya Gotta Believe
Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

Wednesday, June 15, 2005 11:22 PM CDT

Just to let everyone know the day started off real rough, but somehow that sweet little girl of our's just shined:) She took a good nap this morning and woke up with a smile and ready to go for the day. It was so super to see her change in such a short period of time(yes we realize that this disease can go from bad to good & good to bad in a matter of minutes-but we will take what we can get). Besides for the liver functions being so messed up, the main thing for Haley right now is the discomfort from being so swollen up-so we pray that this will be changing for her soon. One addtl thing is that Haley has went for about 10 hours without oxygen at all today-her monitor continued to stay above 90 & we told her that this is because she has worked so hard and getting her lungs to work for her & not against her.

Tomorrow we will head and get Haley's counts done, we just know that the counts will be heading in the right direction!!

Thanks to everyone for the calls, emails, meals, gifts etc. It is so super to have such wonderful friends to support us.

Don't have much more to add at this point-just so happy that little Miss Haleygirl was feeling better this afternoon!!! We are so proud of her and just know that if there is anyone who can overcome this terrible disease and educate so many others.....it will be her!!!

God Bless each of you
Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

Tuesday, June 14, 2005 5:39 PM CDT

**We are not leaving at this point and will continue to watch Haley's counts-there may be the need for something in the future, but I will keep you all updated**

Hey all, we are wanting to send out a HUGE Thanks for all the information regarding transportation. We took Haley into the ER last night, she was having some pain on her left side-they wanted to wait for an ultrasound till today, but did draw labs again last night. We took her to St E's this morning for an ultrasound and the results of course show that her liver is very infected with disease and possibly the side pain she was having is from some bowels and irritated area on that side. They couldn't really see any bile obstruction. After talking with Anisa, I talked with Haley's Dr from Mexico. We told him of the latest update on her counts, her albumin came up some and the bilirubin came down-this could be because the labs were done at 2 different locations or we could be seeing a change in her body and the treatment she has recvd. You can tell in lots of ways that her Liver is not functioning the way it needs, her eye whites are yellow and with all the swelling taking place still.

At this point her Dr in Mexico wants to see if those counts that need to climb-climb and the counts that need to decrease-decrease. He feels at this point we need to worry about the liver and pray that it starts to work the way it needs to and he is not wanting to do the treatment that the other Dr from Mexico talked about because of the toxins it will carry with it-her liver is not strong enough to get her through that.

So here we are just going to continue to do what we are doing at home with the Milk Thistle, juices and Manna tech products. We pray that the Lord knows whats best for Haley and realizes that she is wanting to achieve so much in her life. She is a very strong young lady who would love more than nothing to stay around for alot of years to come.

We will update in the future if we are in need of a ride out of here and will hopefully have more time-if her counts start to climb.

Continued prayers for Haley and that she stay pain free, enjoy each day to its fullest, the swelling goes down and those darn liver functions start to change for the better.

God Bless each of you
Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

Monday, June 13, 2005 5:19 PM CDT

*******URGENT, we are in need of help, please see request below & email me if you can help or know someone who can*******

Haley's Dr is not willing to go through with the Albumin IV treatment(doesn't feel she will benefit from it) and I have checked with our family Dr, she as well is not willing to do it. Dr G told me that it was expensive and that my insurance wouldn't cover the cost, well that's crap, because as soon as I hung up the phone with him...I called BCBS and found out that yes it is covered.

Today's labs show that Haleys albumin level has dropped to 1.4 and her Bilirubin is at a very high # 8.0. The Dr here says that there is nothing to do with the high bilirubin # but to get it checked again on Thursday(she may not be here Thursday if we don't help her), but it is amazing because Mexico tells me that most likely this is a sign that there is something blocking her bile duct and this can be taken care of by a surgical procedure(they would verify through an ultrasound though). As well they will give her the albumin treatment and another treatment to directly effect the liver and the tumors that are on it.

Our big request is that we are in need of transportation to get there & soon. So we are asking if you or someone you know have connections with the airlines(this may be thrown out if she can't be on there with her oxygen) or a RV and a couple drivers that would be willing to drive(none stop) our family to get Haley this treatment that she needs. We could drive again ourselves, but the little van is not something she should be in for a long period of time and with someone else driving-this would allow us to give her all the care that she needs.

I know that we are shooting for a lucky star, but that is exactly what we are doing....the Dr's in Mexico don't owe us anything, but are very concerned for Haley and the need for her to get these things taken care of right now. Her oxygen level has been decreased from 4.5, 2 days ago to 2.5 today, she is doing well with this and has been eating pretty good today for us.

As I have told you in the past Thanks so much for the prayers and support and know that we would do the same for you if you are ever in this terrible situation.

God Bless
The Mathis family

Monday, June 13, 2005 12:45 AM CDT

Hi to all, Haley is resting!!! This is the first night she has been asleep before 2:00 and Hanna is staying over at Grandma's tonight(she needed a break away from playing the role of Cinderella lately)-"Thanks Hanna we couldn't do it without you sweetie", so Kevin & I are reading and trying to update ourselves as much as we can.

Haley had a pretty good day-she ate good for us and took all her pills and drinks like a pro. I'm going to do my best to list what we have her on right now....
Thalidamide-to stop the growth of blood vessels to tumors
Protein Powder
Milk Thistle-to help with liver
Lecithin-to help with liver & many other benefits
Sam-E-to help with liver

Potassium-to bring her potassium level back up

Liquid Oxygen-to help her body produce it's own oxygen

Hydrochlorothiazide-this is a diuretic

Manna Tech products which include 4 pills, one of them is Immuno start(which is Colostrum) and the other is Ambrotose

All these are taken 3 times a day, so Haley is loaded down with just taking pills and powder mixes, but she still knows that drinking her water is very important and we are making her carrot/beet/cucumber juice and fresh organic pear juice each day. She is drinking Dandelion tea twice a day which helps clean her body out and remove toxins and waste. On top of all this she is still trying to eat some healthy food-which I have told her that most people who are not winning their battle with cancer-the last thing they could do is eat everyday!!! She hasn't had a feeding tube and is doing her best to avoid something like that.

As you can imagine, this is a full time job for Hanna, Kevin and myself-so thank you to those who are helping and allowing us to be able to be with Haley and help her fight.

We have been so overwhelmed with all the help you guys have provided to us in researching. It helps to know that people everywhere want this as much as we do!!!

I pray that we get started with her IV treatment tomorrow, so that we can help release some of the extra fluid in her body-she is so uncomfortable and I just know that if we can get her more comfortable things will go in the right direction for her.

An update on her oxygen-we reduced her from 4.5 to 3.5 last night and she still remained to run high & hit 100EAH!!!! We will allow her body to run on this for a couple days, because we know that cancer cells hate oxygen.

Addtl prayers to Uncle Jeff as he go in for testing tomorrow.

**The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it. Anonymous

YGB
The Mathis family

Saturday, June 11, 2005 11:50 PM CDT

Hello everyone, just wanted to let everyone know how Haley was feeling. She is very tired, still having lots of swelling and hard to make herself eat and drink lots, but guess what?? she is doing it the best she can:) We really aren't sure what is day or night anymore. Haley's willpower to over come this disease-just keeps getting stronger everyday. Her oxygen level is staying very high, so we are going to try and reduce the amount we are giving her a little bit tomorrow and see how she does. It is just so scary that each day is 24 hours long and her and gone in the blink of an eye-I thank God every morning that Haley is still with us & is still fighting so darn hard.

We talked with Haley's Dr's office in Mexico about her albumin #'s and what's going on(they were surprised that she was at home with levels this low) and they have told us about her getting IV albumin-so this is something that we are wanting to start her on right away on Monday. When I visited with her Dr in Omaha on Friday, he indicated to me that this is not something they do in the states very often and that it is very expensive....well I of course ask if it was a question of they don't do it or they can't?? Of course the answer was don't, so as long as we can and it doesn't hurt Haley....we are going forward with this and it truly doesn't matter what the cost is!! Haley's Dr in Mexico feels that the extra fluid from the IV will go into her body and help remove the excess fluid that she has-if this truly works, I can't tell you how much better Haley will feel. As we learn more about this, I will let you know what's going on-as for is it something we can get done her at home with the help of a Home Nurse etc.

Thanks for checking in on us and please say an extra prayer for Haley and her cure from this terrible disease.

Haley just wanted to ask for everyone to pray for her and Hanna's Uncle Jeff as he is having some medical test ran on Monday.

LiveSTRONG
The Mathis family

Thursday, June 9, 2005 11:18 PM CDT

Update as of Friday-Haley had a pretty good nights rest on Thursday & Friday was pretty good until late tonight. She is resting now & we pray that she gets a good nights rest tonight. Thank you SO much to everyone who has researched info for me. I got some ideas from Mexico today & called her Dr in Omaha, we may be trying some new stuff next week, but I will update more hopefully tomorrow as I need to do a little research myself. Thanks again!!!

I apologize for some of the entries that may be coming to you here in the next couple weeks. It breaks my heart to watch my child fight so hard and not know the outcome, but it also hurts me so bad to think of the feelings of so many of Haley & Hanna's friends and how they must feel when the hear or read about how Haley is doing. The girls are such great friends with so many wonderful kids and it breaks my heart to not only have the pain of my child but these other children as well. So if you are their parents reading this, please take the time to tell your child/children how much they mean to our family & the girls!!! We have been blessed with such a great community of people.

Hello to everyone that is following Haley's fight with cancer. I have very mixed emotions as I type tonight, the past almost 2 years have been so very hard, special, non-replacable etc, but the past 2 weeks has been very tough on all of us. As you know Haley is retaining fluid and some of her counts have been off the charts(high) and some have been very low-this is very scary, because we as parents are trying everything we can to make these #'s change and it isn't helping at this point. Haley was put on oxygen just 2 days ago and every since we came home from the hospital it didn't seem like she was getting any better-in fact she was getting worse by the hour. Yesterday was a very long day, as I was at work and Kevin & Hanna were trying to take care of Haley. I talked with Anisa on the phone about Haley and how she was feeling-fever, heart still racing, can't catch her breathe and at the end of this conversation-they had a question for me and that question Anisa knew I wasn't ready for and what I thought of it, but it was are we ready for hospice to come to our house-nothing against hospice but to a mother fighting for her child, that is the devil. I just can't face the thought of that. I know that is got to be one of the hardest question a nurse/friend would have to ask a parent. When I got home, Haley was in terrible shape-she was completely out of it, to make a long story short we increased her oxygen level and she sat up pretty well and felt so much better. Thanks to Keri & Jami for helping out with the machine that you brought over:) The night was very long as Kevin & I watched her oxygen level and heart beat all night.

As of tonight, she was feeling better and ate real food for the first time in a couple weeks-Yeah Haley.

Today it took us about 4 hours to get her out of the house to head to Lincoln to see her Dr. By now her feet and ankles are all swollen up and she is doing okay on the oxygen. Her counts came back even lower than 2 days ago, which means that her Liver just isn't working/or at least very little. Without going into alot of detail, her Dr really doesn't think it will be long and our TOUGH little girl will give up her fight with this cancer.

As her mother, I can't tell you what is going to happen, but I can only tell you that Haley will never leave this world without the biggest fight. The things that she says everyday to us "The cancer is trying to beat us, but I'm not going to let it win" and she has to win this fight, because so many other little kids need her help-these are just a few comments she has said. Haley's heart may be beating like crazy and causing her alot of pain right now, but that same heart is the one that will carry her all the way through this. I know that every parent is proud of their child & you know what??? You should be, these kids are everything as far as I'm concerned...it doesn't matter how much money you have saved, or the car you drive, or the clothes you wear....it truly comes right down to the relationship you have with your children and family!!!

I'm not going to type alot of sad topic stuff, because right now I just don't have the energy. I will be honest and tell you that we are very, very, very scared of what the future holds for Haley and us, but the four of us know that we met some truly remarkable people in Mexico that were in the same shape & some how they were there to tell us their story-we didn't read about them on the computer of listen to a pre-recorded message...we met them and this is where we want to be in 6 months to 20 years.

My entries may become shorter since I truly know that my time needs to be right there with the girls and Kevin, but it is important to let you all know what is going on with Haley as I know she has touched so many hearts & lives.

I'm in need of a couple of things, if you have the time to research(email me at Haley's email if you have question), I need to spend as much time with Haley & Hanna as I can, but still need to research

Albumin-what can we do to increase, food, natural herbs, medicine etc.

Oxygen-anyway to rebuild without being on the machine 24/7, things to do outside of exercise(cuz this is something she can't do right now)

Really anything you can research would be helpful, I'm just running out of time & energy to spend on it. I will type more things that I need help with tomorrow.

God be with each of you as you face your daily challenges and may you be surrounded by family, friends and prayers each day.

Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

Tuesday, June 7, 2005 10:45 PM CDT

Hi guys!! It has been a long couple of days & nights here, but somehow we are still managing. Yesterday was my first day back to a new job & work....it went well, but boy do I feel like a fish out of water(I have to learn a new job in auto vs. working in life company for 8 years), its all good and will work out, I'm actually working a different job than orginally planned so that I don't have to sit in harder training for months and try to concentrate on learning something new. The experience won't hurt me any and will hopefully help out when I do change to the next job down the road. Thanks to all who made this possible:)

As for my/our sweet little Miss Haleygirl-she has been better. I talked with her from work yesterday at 3:40 and by the time I got home at 4:30, she was a mess and Hanna met me at the door and said that Haley wasn't doing good and was really sick-my heart just dropped and I ran in the house. She was struggling to get air in and her heart was pounding out of her chest, she was just trying to catch her breathe with Kevin while she lay in the chair with her eyes closed(it looked so scary). As soon as she heard my voice, she smiled:) Oh my goodness-as you know....she says it best with that wonderful smile of hers. I called and got in touch with Anisa, her & Dr G, got Haley some medicine(diuretic) to flush her body and the extra fluid out. Kevin took Hanna to her softball games and I stayed home with Haley. The night turned out to be another long night, as the evenings seem to be the worst for her. Dr G had indicated that he wanted Haley to come up this morning so they could run some oxygen test etc to see where she was at. The four of us headed to Omaha and had labs done and checked her oxygen level out, she was at 74-should be 100which means she needed to be placed on oxygen-so she now has her very own machine at home & some travel tanks to go with her-this seemed to help her as she was at the hospital, she has had another rough night tonight, but I think she will get feeling better with a little more sleep and once she starts to eat better. As soon as we got home she couldn't walk in the house without almost passing out on us and than her fever spiked to 101.6(which for cancer kids is high). We have as well started her back on Potassium pills since her diuretic dropped those levels over night. Thursday she will head to Lincoln to get counts and see her Dr.

All things considered she is doing okay, I can't imagine how she must feel each day faced with so many things. She just loves her family and friends and wants to cure her body from this terrible disease. I ask the Lord to grant her this wish!!

Thanks for checking in on us and if you get a chance our friend Brooke who just relapsed could use some birthday wishes for her b-day on this Thursday. Happy Birthday Brooke-we pray that you are back home to Celebrate your special day!!!!

Stay Rhino Tough
Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

Monday, June 6, 2005 6:48 AM CDT

Good Morning to all. Haley is feeling okay at times, but is having a lot of difficulty with her breathing-her heart is racing very fast when she walks and tries to do much. Her swelling is still there and has moved back down into her legs again. She hasn't had as many smiles lately, which is hard to see because she has been so tough through this all. I can't blame her for feeling a little blue-this is so tough on her and she is getting very tired of dealing with it.

The girls are going to try and go to VBS this week-if they both make it * I hope they have lots of fun with friends*
Today is back to work for me-I don't know how this will go, but I will do my best. I will miss the girls terribly, but my main concern is that Haley is okay and if she needs me I will be able to leave work.

Tonight we are going to try to go to softball again and cheer Hanna and the teams on:)

Thanks for you support and all the prayers

LiveSTRONG
Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

Thursday, June 2, 2005 10:24 PM CDT

Well it's been a long week since I last updated. Each day I wake to my smiling sweet girls faces & know that there is nothing in this world that could give you more strength than that!! Oh how I wish so bad that it was me fighting this stupid disease & that it was my daughters praying for the mother or father. But, yes I know this is not the case and there is nothing I can do to make it change, so for now I/we watch our sweet 12 year old girl-FIGHT, PRAY & BEG for her life. As you can tell this has been a very long week with lots of emotions.

We all enjoyed the softball game on Monday and was so happy to see so many faces. The weather Monday was enough to make it a long night for Haley-coughing lots and very uncomfortable with breathing, so off to Omaha on Tuesday we went. We came home with a breathing treatment and that seemed to work for her. According to the Dr's-the tumors that are in Haley's lungs are and will cause her some troubles. The liver of course is another area of HUGE concern-the counts that we need to come down are still climbing & the counts that we need to go up are still going down. We checked to see when they could get her follow up MRI of her brain, just to see how the radiation worked-so we weren't expecting much from the results. Well imagine that.......when you least expect something it jumps in your face & rips at your heart. The results that we were looking for, were that the 2nd round of full brain radiation worked and if there was anything left it could be cleaned up by Gamma Knife....well we were sadly mistaken-There are several new areas on her brain and some that were there are now larger:(

Haley continues to be bloated and feels very uncomfortable with anything tight fitting, so I went and got her a couple new shirts to wear and will get her a new swim suit. I don't know what the future holds, but I know now more than ever I will pray that God give Haley her Miracle & bless her with her healing. The vitamins and minerals that we flooded her body with in Mexico, must work overtime to keep her here with us.

We are trying to spend some family time together this weekend & do what ever the girls want, so tomorrow we are taking in a movie. Monday will bring a VERY hard day-I will be headed back to my job & I can't begin to tell you how very, very, very hard this is going to be. I can't imagine sitting at my desk trying to learn a new job and have my daughter who is fighting for her life-have limited time with me everyday. State Farm has been very wonderful to me & I can't complain, its just the emotions of a very tired mother who will feel out of place. This world is so confusing-go to work to earn an income & hold onto Health Insurance and watch the time clock/sentence that your child's Dr gave you tick every second.

I have Faith in the Lord and know that in the end he will grant Haley her #1 wish!!! Her & I today sang to the song....Because you loved me and the words in there are just so darn true. She is the wind when I can't breathe, she is my eyes when I can't see etc.....

**Haley Loved watching her sister play hard tonight at softball and just wouldn't want to miss that for anything-I think next week if she is feeling okay, we might let her play a little.** Keep smilin' Haley & Hanna

A pillow that Helen sent the girls says it all(I will try to get a picture of it out here), it has a family picture of us & one of the girls together. "To the world you may be one person, But to one person you may be the world!" Hanna & Haley~sisters for life~ and ~friends forever!~ This pillow means so much & is so neat....Thanks Helen!!!

To each of you reading, Thanks for all the support & please continue the power of prayer.

LiveSTRONG
Patti

Monday, May 30, 2005 2:46 PM CDT

Hello everyone! Sorry for the delay in getting an update out here-I know they are doing something with the caringbridge site tomorrow so I must put something new out here.

Haley is feeling okay, the scans that we did on Thursday showed that the tumors on Haley's liver are larger and that there is several new ones on there, she has a tumor growing in her lungs into her Bronchial tubes(which is making her cough) and that they believe the fluid to be the tumors leaking. Dr T said she didn't believe the swelling would go down and that there really was nothing we could do for this(ie. drain, food, medicine etc). Her albumin level is going down and this is what is causing her to be bloated. Her Dr from Mexico recommended that we give her a Protein(vegetable) and the whites of an egg twice a day-this will help her liver start rebounded and hopefully bring this count up and the swelling down. The treatment that she received in Mexico, will work the hardest now that we are home for the next 45 days, so we pray that the reason her counts are high on some things is because this treatment is actually working on the tumors and the are just pissed off & raising a stink. Let her body detoxify and rid her body of these terrible tumors.

All in all her body is fighting very hard right now and we just pray each day that she doesn't give up this fight. Haley has too much to give and learn herself, she is eating and drinking(with some resistance) the stuff that she needs to, but this must be VERY hard for her...she is a 12 year girl who shouldn't have to change everything over night. But when you are truly faced with LIFE or DEATH....it is a must!!! This is a statement that a child should NOT have to think of each time she goes to drink, eat, move, sleep, talk, pray, smile, cry and get sick....it just is so damn unfair to watch her and listen to her pray to God that he let her stay right here with her family and friends.

Softball starts for our girls tonight since they missed a few games, but with Haley's condition right now-she will be suited up but not playing. Go have fun Hanna:)

We are trying to get a scan of the brain set up for this week and will try to stop by and see our friend Brooke in the hospital if she is still there when we go up.

With this day being Memorial day-we can't go without saying an addtl prayer for those fighting over seas and here in the US and to their families-God be with you all.

I will update so much more on the trip and all that we did on our way home, but wanted to get you an update on Haley's condition as we speak.

Ya Gotta Believe
Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

Thursday, May 26, 2005 3:17 PM CDT

We are back!!! I have so much to update on, but for right now-I just need to ask for addtl prayers for Haley at this point. She has started to bloat in her tummy area & is feeling something on her left side. We got home this morning around 4:00 a.m. and came to Childrens for a scan and labs today. Thanks to Mike & Anisa for making this happen. Other than the dis-comfort she is feeling good:)

Haley & Hanna are looking forward to going to school tomorrow for the last day & can't wait to see their friends and teachers before summer break.

Lots of details to come later this weekend, we are going to try and catch up on some much needed sleep.

Thanks for all the prayers & continued support

The roof on our house is WONDERFUL!!!!! Thanks for all the hard work to get this completed.

In God's Name
The Mathis Family

Extra prayers for
Addie & Brooke, please visit their sites.
ne/brooke
ne/addiemarie

Wednesday, May 18, 2005 11:40 PM CDT

Not sure where our last update went, so bare with me this one is going to be alot shorter.

Things are going well here & we are closing in on our last couple days.

Haley is doing well with treatment and wants for us to share with all families dealing with a disease of some kind. This of course is not something I want to force a family to do, because if the treatment here didn't work for them-I would not want them to say "you told us to come down here", so my way of looking at it is-if you have been given no chance in the US & the stories from here are speaking for themselves...well-it didn't take us long!!! We are just hoping that we can help make a difference in someone else's life.

We need for extra prayers to be sent for all little children tonight, but their are a couple that I know need some. Addie at ne/addiemarie and Brooke at ne/brooke

Thanks for completing of the roof back home, we can't wait:)

Upcoming events Star City Motor Sports Friday-Saturday & Sunday(lots of things, dance, bar-b-que, breakfast, motor cycle show etc) and Tina typed in about a sale she is holding this weekend with the funds going to Haley.

Thanks everyone

God Bless
Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

Monday, May 16, 2005 3:46 PM CDT

Well here it is....our last week here!!! We love being here & Haley is doing so well with this treatment, but sometimes you just want to be at home with the dogs and all:)

The weekend was real good, the movie's were fun Friday night & Hanna took Haley out to Mission Beach on Saturday after her treatment, she loved being in the water with us. The waves were real strong that day, so we were all wore out that night. Sunday we headed to Legoland and had a Great time.

When we take a minute to think about all that has happened over the past 2 years....WOW!!! We have been through so much & met some very wonderful friends(some just through the website & email only, but we love ya). This year alone, we have been told Haley's life would be taken by this beast, went on our MAW trip, her CELEBRATION of LIFE, St Jude and now Mexico. Now the next steps is to get back to Nebraska-play softball, me go back to work(I'm not sure if they are ready for me, but I'll do my best-I have to start a new job after 8 years, I know this will be different), enjoy lots of swimming at Kathy & Bobby's(with Tiffer) and try to get the house cleaned up & get rid of lots of stuff(collected over the past 2 years), than prepare for school, scans in Omaha(pray they are SUPER) and our return trip for Haley's booster treatment in Tijuana in August or September.

I'm not sure but I believe they are having a fundraiser event at StarCity Motor Sports this weekend(don't have the number to call), but they are doing lots of stuff-so if you need something to do-call them first to make sure...but we wish we were going to be home to attend. Thanks to the Kay family.

YaGottaBelieve
The Mathis gany

Monday, May 16, 2005 3:46 PM CDT

Well here it is....our last week here!!! We love being here & Haley is doing so well with this treatment, but sometimes you just want to be at home with the dogs and all:)

The weekend was real good, the movie's were fun Friday night & Hanna took Haley out to Mission Beach on Saturday after her treatment, she loved being in the water with us. The waves were real strong that day, so we were all wore out that night. Sunday we headed to Legoland and had a Great time.

When we take a minute to think about all that has happened over the past 2 years....WOW!!! We have been through so much & met some very wonderful friends(some just through the website & email only, but we love ya). This year alone, we have been told Haley's life would be taken by this beast, went on our MAW trip, her CELEBRATION of LIFE, Toby Keith concert, Kenny Chesney & Gretchen Wilson, St Jude and now Mexico. Now the next steps is to get back to Nebraska-play softball, me go back to work(I'm not sure if they are ready for me, but I'll do my best-I have to start a new job after 8 years, I know this will be different), enjoy lots of swimming at Kathy & Bobby's(with Tiffer) and try to get the house cleaned up & get rid of lots of stuff(collected over the past 2 years), than prepare for school, scans in Omaha(pray they are SUPER) and our return trip for Haley's booster treatment in Tijuana in August or September.

I'm not sure but I believe they are having a fundraiser event at StarCity Motor Sports this weekend(don't have the number to call), but they are doing lots of stuff-so if you need something to do-call them first to make sure...but we wish we were going to be home to attend. Thanks to the Kay family.

YaGottaBelieve
The Mathis gany

Friday, May 13, 2005 6:43 PM CDT

Here it is on what??? That's right Friday the 13th.....and we are enjoying our day:) Haley is feeling good and her & Hanna are very excited that we will be heading home in a week!!!

First of all we want to send a BIG Thank You to each of you for signing into Lizzie's website(I'm sure she was very excited to see all those entries).

Lots of things happening-we are taking the girls to another double feature at the outdoor drive-in movie theater tonight-Kicking & Screaming and Robots are playing:) Tomorrow Haley's last treatment for the week to be followed by swimming in the pool, going to Mission Beach using the Boogie Board and than going to Belmont Park close by to take in some rides etc. Sunday we are taking the girls to Legoland!!!! I think they are very excited about this-we get free tickets from Give Kids the World.

Treatment continues to go well, we will have labs drawn on Monday again-as well, I forgot to say that the xray they took of Haley's chest 2 weeks ago, came back with a lesion on her lungs(not to alarming-hopefully it is one that was there in the beginning). Everyone is doing well with the new eating habits and trying to be creative as can be. The stories just keep coming in on our way over to the clinics, lots of people who have been coming back for up to 30 years-who at one point were given the death sentence. This is amazing to us-I know that it will be different coming back once a year, but it is so worth the trip and we will somehow make it happen. Haley's next visit will be in 4 months, but we will only stay for 10 days than.

Thanks for all the continued prayers-we love you all.

Birthday wishes to the girls Aunt Theresa, their cousin Lindsay and Kody-who are all celebrating birthdays coming up soon.

A BIG Thanks to everyone who is working to get our roof replaced starting tommorrow-I know there are some very special people behind all of this & they are working hard to make it all happen.

Big Hugs to Comet, Daisy & Owen from the girls they miss you dogs terribly bad & will see you all very soon.

LiveSTRONG
Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

Tuesday, May 10, 2005 10:34 PM CDT

**the website for our hospital is www.ibchospital.org/com?-one of them. for those of you looking into this. There are several that we take people to every single day-it is truly amazing!!!

Here it is the 10th of May...Wow-just one month ago little Miss Haley was having her birthday & receiving 1,000's of cards!!! We want to ask for you to take the time to stop by and wish Haley's wonderful friend Lizzie-Happy 13th Birthday...Please take just a couple of minutes and sign her guestbook-I know they don't have much on her website, but this girl is AMAZING!!! www.caringbridge.org/ne/lizziegirl
Thank You sooooooo much for doing this:) Happy Birthday Lizzie from all of us okay!!!!

Haley is feeling pretty good & doing well with her treatment. When we started this her Alivizatos counts came in at 4.3 and this week they were down to 3.6-this is the count that they would like to see be at around 2.5 after 20 days of treatment. The name of the program that we are on is the Alivizato Greek treatment. This treatment consists of 20 treatments on a daily basis, excluding Sundays. The treatment pierces the protein and lipid layers of the cancer cells, literally opening the door to the infusion of those cells to effectively begin correction of the patients metabolism. The resulting effect starves the cancer cells and enhances the condition of the healthy cells. The treatment is non-toxic, non-biological and non-specific; it is able to pierce the brain-blood barrier, much to the benefit of those suffering from brain tumors. The immune system is enhanced and modulated so that the body can take control of any disease.

Anyone wanting more information on this please email us & we will share what we are learning.

God Bless
The Mathis family

Monday, May 9, 2005 1:02 PM CDT

Happy Mother's Day to all of you....We haven't had a computer work since last week & it just burns me up that I wasn't able to type an update & wish you all a Wonderful Mother's Day. My day was SUPER!!!! What more could a Mother who's child is fighting cancer want or need, but just to have both my sweet girls right here with Kevin & I. We spent the day at Seaworld:) This was Great, the American Cancer Society had an event for Children fighting Cancer & we got to go:) Haley & Hanna had a Super time-Haley was feeling good compared to her MAW trip and Hanna just wishes they would have had more rides(she loves the rides). All in all it was a Great day-beatuiful weather & just the family time.

Haley has been feeling so much better than the other night, sorry I wasn't able to update since than. It seemed to just last overnight & the next day a little. She is still doing well with her treatments. I have received a couple emails asking me to go more into detail with what type of treatment we are getting here etc. I will do my best in covering it. Haley is being treated at the International Bio Care hospital/clinic, the offer alternative medicine here and are flushing her with high volumes of vitamins. Haley still has her infusa-port so we are able to use that, but everyone else that comes in get an IV everyday. The treatment is so high in some of the vitamins, if they run the IV fluids too fast they get real red, can get a rash, tingling etc. Everyone sits in a lazy boy chair and gets their treatment in one room, when they are finished they provide them with breakfast. The foods of course have to be monitored real close and drink lots of water. They are trying to rid her body of all the acid, salt, sugars the list goes on. I recommend anyone who wants to look into this, we have met lots of people being treated at several different clinics over there & their stories are wonderful. I will type more about the product etc in my next entry.

We are not very pleased with the service of the motels that you have to pick from here, they only have 2 different ones that will take you over to the clinics everyday-so it makes it hard(we pay dearly to have them take us). We may be looking into the other motel this week.

We will be trying to go to more site seeing places this week & get Legoland under our belts at some point.

Haley-keep up the fight sweetie:) you are doing wonderful.

Hanna-keep up the great support you offer to Dad, Haley & myself each day honey-we couldn't get through this without you!!!

To each child & their family who are fighting-keep looking forward & never give up the hope & your faith. You are all truly amazing!!!

Thanks for all the continued support, prayers, money donations, helping with the roof at our house, mowing the yard, taking care of our dogs-the list just goes on & on.
God Bless each of you

**Just an extra prayer on my behalf, this day 3 years ago we lost my oldest sister Tammy. This prayer goes to her children who we have not been able to see since than. This breaks my heart to think of these kids out their basically by themselves, I know at this point there is nothing I can do to help, but pray that they are okay. Anthony-was born on my birthday and will be 16 this year(we missed his 13th birthday & now his 16th). Autumn is growing up too & I pray that she is getting the help she needs from her older brother-stay strong you two-we all love you very much.

Ya Gotta Believe
Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

Thursday, May 5, 2005 10:57 PM CDT

Hello to all!! Hanna and I are in the computer room tonight & wanted to let you all know what's going on. The other day we headed out to LaJolla Beach and WOW-what a beautiful place, yes I know it is stinking but Great!! The stinks comes from real live Sea Lion, which in Nebraska you only see in the zoo's. This was so exciting to see for us. On this day we were headed back to the vehicle and there was a man selling jewerly. I commented on how nice this looked(Kevin & Hanna ran to get the van), Haley & I visited with him a little and he asked several questions about Haley??!! What's your name?, how old are you?, etc. He asked the Lord to take the pain from Haley & place it all upon him from this day forward may she be healed!! He placed his hand on her head & said a prayer quietly, than told her to take whatever she would like(she had been eye balling a bracelet)-he said that he hoped she brought him Good Luck, he hadn't had a very good day-so we Thanked him and ask if he would be there any other day.....Well he replied he lived there & guess what he truly meant he lived there!!!! Down on the rocks under the top of the cliff there was his bed, everything this man owns covers one square 10X10 rock-WOW. As we walked away from him, I couldn't help but to sing the song "What if he's an angel, sent here from heaven", my heart just broke. But I hope the Lord grants them both good things, Haley her Miracle she so deserves & this no-named stranger the life that he wants & wishes for.

As for little Miss Haleygirl, she started not feeling to well last night & hasn't been sleeping real well the past 2 days. This morning she wasn't doing very well so I took her over and they came right to her-Dr Vasquez came in to see what was going on! They ran her treatment very slow to not cause her any other problems, she tried her best to get some rest & was able to come out to sit in one of the chairs later in the morning, but something that takes just about an 1 1/2 hours to get done with & have her eat breakfast-took from 8:30-2:45. She was very sad today & cried for the first time in awhile-she really misses her baby girl Comet:) I told her that she only she has 13 more treatments left & than we will head home!! She is feeling a little better tonight & we just pray that her body doing what it needs to do. The lines coming back & forth have been very crazy-I know some of you have been through this, but wow!!! Yesterday they told Kevin it was going to take 3 hours to cross-so they took an alternate route-thank goodness.

We are hoping that the weather is good here this weekend and that Haley is feeling well, after her treatment on Saturday we would like to take in some activities-I have tickets to get us to Legoland-I know that will be fun and whatever comes along.

I feel bad everytime I put websites of other children out here, but there are just too many of them who need prayers everyday and I feel like by placing 1 or 2 of them I am leaving out soooooo many that mean so much to us. Please cover them all by a generic prayer for all children & their families who have been touched by a life threatning disease. Stay strong CB families-we Love you!!!

Sending Big Prayers up tonight for each of you who is reading this right now & Thanking you for the prayers that you continue to send for all of us.

LiveSTRONG
The Mathis family

Tuesday, May 3, 2005 11:06 PM CDT

Wow-how time flies by:) It has been very Sunny & wonderful here in Southern California & Mexico!!! Treatments continue to go well for Haley & we have met some very wonderful people there, let me tell you we will have lots of incredible stories to share. All these people are here fighting for their lives such as we are-some of them having been coming back for 19+ years:) Yes, that is the one thing we found out that we were not aware of, is that Haley will be back in 4 months again and than will follow up every 6 months to a year from here on out....but ya know what???? If/when we have her here for that....that is okay with me-we will make the trip happen:)

An update on Hanna-well let's say she looks like a little tan beach bum!!! She is loving going to collect the seashells & swimming as much as she can-it does kinda slow her down, because she knows that Haley can't swim everyday with her needle in:( She says Hello to all her friends & sends BIG hugs to her dogs back home(she really misses them & didn't bring any pictures).

Haley is doing well with treatment and is eating pretty good. The crazy thing is that we were prepared and our diets/eating habits changed over night. We are now all eating organic as we can & are scared for when we go back home, because we know the supply is much better here. Expensive food it is, but this is something that is very important to make this work-she can increase certain foods after 45 days, but than shortly after that she will be headed back down here.

If you have a chance, I know that there are lots of children and their families that need prayers and I haven't been able to check in on lots of them, but please offer some words to Jessica's family as she earned her wings last week caringbridge.org/ne/jessica and also to our good friend Addie as she faces some tough roads ahead caringbridge.org/ne/addiemarie. Thanks to each family that continues to check in on us & sign in-it means so much & we hope to sign in soon-we love you all and hope that your battle is getting a little easier.

Oh yeah, so I don't forget the girls want to say Hi to our next door neighbor Dani:) We hope that she is doing well & finding lots to do without the girls & dogs:)

Big Hugs to those helping out with our dogs, taking care of our yard, picking up the mail-wow the list goes on & on!!! We have such wonderful support-we wouldn't have made it this far without you all

Hugs to all

Ya Gotta Believe
Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

Sunday, May 1, 2005 1:14 PM CDT

Quick update, before we head out for a day on the beach!!! Haley is still feeling well,with a little cough, stuffy nose and rattle breating(most likely from her body detoxifing), but just in case her Dr is doing an xray tomorrow morning with labs results.

We gotta go for now-Kevin & Haley are anxious to get to the beach

Will update more later

Got to take advantage of our one day off

LiveSTRONG
Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

Friday, April 29, 2005 5:31 PM CDT

We are here & I have computer access:)

It will be hard for me to hit on everything that has happened since we left, but I will try my best to let you all know what is going on. The trip down was pretty fast/long, Kevin drove long days. We didn't make it to the 4 corners but stopped at the Grand Canyon, seen the London Bridge and stopped off at Parker Dam. These were all very neat little places to see(well, I guess that Grand Canyon isn't exactly little). Haley did get sick on the way down & we weren't able to get her to eat much for a couple days. We checked in late Wednesday night & started our new adventure on Thursday morning-WOW!!! It is an eye opener, but we are doing well with it. Haley likes the Clinic that she is being treated at, they are very Good to her(even though they do not have any other children right now, she is not worried about that). The stories that we are hearing just make the hair on your arms stand up.

They drew lab work yesterday and we went over the results with Dr Vasquez today, a few of the counts that deal with her Liver were off, but for the most part everything seemed okay. We will have Sunday off from treatment and are working with Lisa out here, who is trying to get tickets for lots of fun places for us to go, if we don't have any place to go yet-we will head to the Beach:) You know the girls won't complain about that. One thing that we must be very careful about is that Haley doesn't get overheated, or do too much of something. She started eating real good last night after her first treatment & is still feeling well today.

The traffic back to the US is can I say "CRAZY"!!! Yesterday-remember our first day, we all had to unload the bus and walk through, today we had to wait in line for about 2 hours(consider that there were 24 lines too)!!! Coming from Nebraska, this seems beyond my imagination.

Well since I know that I can use this computer more often, I will do my best to keep you all updated.

Hanna-wants to make sure and say Hi to her class & all her teachers & friends back home-she is doing good & learning lots while she is here.

Haley of course wants to say "Hi" to her teachers & friends as well, but would like to say "Thanks" for all the prayers for her and her body to receive this treatment good.

Lots of Love to all & please say an extra prayer tonight for those who have lost a sweet child. Believe me when I say this is happening WAY TOO MUCH!!

LiveSTRONG
The Mathis family

Monday, April 25, 2005 1:56 PM CDT

Wow-here we are running sooooo far behind and I need to type an update. Sorry I didn't get new pictures out here & probably won't until we get back. We are leaving soon & will be taking off for our treatment in Mexico. I hope to be able to update often, but I will see what happens.

The girls had a blast at the movie on Saturday-Thanks to everyone who came out!!! The concert was SUPER:) I will give more details later, as I said we are SO late.

Thanks for continuing to check in on Haley & her progress, she loves the fact that so many people care:) This is a good place to be:)

God Bless each of you & many prayers go out from us to all the other families fighting, enjoying the children & those who lost their sweet child.

**Thanks to everyone who is helping while we are gone. Thanks to some very special Aunts & Uncles for helping with some funding to make this a little easier on us.

Until later
LiveSTRONG
Patti

Friday, April 22, 2005 7:22 PM CDT

Ok lots of things and I'm sure that I will leave lots out. We went and picked up records, scans etc from the clinic in Omaha to take with us. The girls both went with friends last night to see Aaron Carter and had such a Wonderful time:) Haley got her picture taken with Aaron and all the girls had their picture taken with the warm up group. Thanks for taking the girls they loved it:)

Today was a day of school....the last day of school for Haley & Hanna. Haley-had such a Great time seeing her friends & teachers "she loves to be at school". Hanna was treated soooooo well by her classmates, their parents and her teacher Debi-You guys are SO good, Hanna will call & mail letters back to you guys okay?! You guys really loaded us down with goodies to take along the way, this will help so much. She will miss you all and if we get back before school is out, she will be running in the door:)

This weekend is filled with lots of stuff of course. Tomorrow morning they are having a movie at Southpointe that all the proceeds will be donated to Haley, so if you would like to come-be there at 10:00 AM :)

We will be going to see Kenny Chesney, Uncle Kracker & Gretchen Wilson on Sunday night, than we will be heading out the door on Monday-hopefully we will drive to the SouthWest corner of Colorado.

Several people have asked what we are giving Haley her at home & what we will be doing in Mexico. Well we are taking Mannatech(glyconutrients) and will be going through alternate medicine in Mexico. Haley wants us to share this information with all families fighting and we have told her that once we get through this and it works....we will share with others, but I know it is something that you have to be willing to accept and be willing to change your eating habits forever-believe it or not, but almost all disease could be avoided with the proper nutrition. We will educate ourselves on this issue, probably lose some much needed weight and help others if we can. It hurts Haley so much to see other young children fight and fight, she wants more than anything to see these children win their battle and live a long life:) God please listen to the prayers for each of these families and their sweet little babies. There are so many children that I could refer you onto, but one that needs prayers right away is a little girl here in Lincoln named Jessica. If you get a chance please stop by and offer them some prayers www.caringbridge.org/ne/jessica.

If you have emailed us, we are having trouble receiving them, I had some yesterday that I seen in the hospital and now they are going, than today the same thing happened-so I'm not sure if it would work, but you can try to send them to hannam9@alltel.net(we will probably have the same problem). We need any information we can get on San Diego.

Thanks so much to the wonderful bunch of friends at State Farm for putting together the collection of $$$, gift cards etc for the trip down there. You guys are Great!!

YaGottaBelieve
The Mathis family

Thursday, April 21, 2005 0:28 AM CDT

After typing for about 45 minutes....I lost everything!!!! So I will keep this short and basically say that Haley is feeling good & doing very well at this point. The next steps that we are taking as a family are to take off to head to San Diego. We will be going over to Tijuana Mexico everyday for treatment. I will type more about this and what we know at this point later.

We must believe that we are heading in the right direction and that this trip across the US will grant Haley her Miracle in Mexico!!!!

Will update more with new pictures, Thanks for all the prayers, cards etc...you are truly Wonderful!!!

LiveSTRONG
Patti

Thursday, April 14, 2005 10:52 PM CDT

Hello everyone~sorry for the delay, we have been very busy lately-opening lots of cards & packages ya know:) There doesn't seem to be enough time in the days & when you are trying to get so many things done....it just seems impossible.

Haley is feeling pretty good-getting kinda tired, but I believe that is from our sleep habits lately.

This journal is going to be a little different than other, since I must talk about some issues. For Haley's birthday I ask to knock her socks off by getting people to send her cards & boy did you ever:) My cousin Kami wanted to help & make sure that people really moved on this & wanted to make this a birthday Haley & us would never forget. In her email she indicated that the Drs had only given Haley 2 months to live....well that statement is true, but the couple months that her Dr gave her was up awhile ago.

See I have told you how Haley is not your typical Wilms tumor child & there is so much to that. Back in December when Haley's scans didn't come back good, we were told that there was nothing more that could be done for Haley and that we needed to enjoy our time with her & choose quality over quantity-this was the need to get the MAW trip done right away & stuff. Well this wasn't exceptable to us, so we sent Haley's records to lots of different Dr's and were told by 4 out of 7 of them to contact St Jude(which also had her information sent to them), this was when Haley's counts came up-we were accepted to come to St Jude. Well most of you remember that Haley had a bleed from one of the tumors on her brain & therefore we were done in Memphis, well the same thing there the Dr's truly were saddened to tell us that there was nothing more they could do for our sweet child & that we needed to get home & make her comfortable.....Let's remember this is the girl, that is smiling, playing, singing, eating etc.

This is where I say "Thank You" to Kami for getting this message out, this is something that I had a hard time typing & would put in different words hoping that parents would understand the message but that I didn't scare any friends. I feel & know how the human body responds & if we were to tell Haley back in December that her Dr said there is nothing more he can do, well what reason would she have had to continue forward??!! She truly believes in us as her parents & has just asked us to keep looking towards the next door, we would have never made it to St Jude with her, if she would have believed she had NO chance.

We are not trying to say that we don't believe these Dr's, but what I do believe is in MY DAUGHTER!!!! And at this point, this girl doesn't want to give up or give in & we are not willing to do that either, so in all reality-she has passed their time up & continues to move forward everyday. So as for some wanting to know if that statement was true, yes it was, but can it be wrong???? you bet....the Dr's do not know everything and when it comes right down to it, there is really only 2 people who will indicate to us when Haley's time will come....Haley & that wonderful man upstairs "Our Savivor".

I can't tell you how much we feel for the Dr's we have worked with have done & where they have gotten us, but everything these days is based on a text book & the protocol. Well each child is different & yes I realize that Haley's poor body has been infected by this terrible disease so badly, but when you look at her everyday-wow she truly takes my breathe away, she is so powerful with her actions!!! If there is ANYONE to be that 1 case, she will be it....I know, I believe, I trust & have the Faith that will get us there. There are so many things out there that are your normal treatment and other that are not and we have done everything that they tell us we can the normal way, so now we must look towards the alternate ways. I know that if you are reading this and have been in our position-you would, you did & you will do everything that there is to save your child. My comittment as a mother & friend to my girls is to be there forever & to help in anyway I can, so I know that the next door is just a few steps away & we will find what we are looking for.

Thanks so much for listening to me go on & on, I just have had so many emotions lately & wanted to share with you. To each of you for reading this, to each of you for calling/emailing, stopping over & to those who sent a card.....God Bless you!!! You are the ones who truly make this easier on all of us.

Hug those you love extra tight tonight

Faith-Courage-Hope

Patti

Sunday, April 10, 2005 11:25 PM CDT

Happy Birthday Babygirl!!!

The past week has been such a mix of emotions! Each day that we get to spend as a family & with friends is a blessing. I know that in the text book for Wilms tumor-Haley doesn't have a chance, but to those who know Haley & for those who truly Believe & Trust in the Lord-you are the ones that know different & know that once all these clouds lift-their will be the sun & Haley smiling with her VICTORY!!!

This 12th birthday has been so special in many ways....Friday night was a pizza party & fun with friends, Saturday-Haley & Hanna went with Haley's friends to paint yourself silly & had a Super time(Thanks Ladies for making this happen). Saturday night Haley was Surprised when we took her and Kayla to the Hotel to meet up with Nurse Anisa, Heidi(who was a counselor at cancer camp), Lizzie & Morgan along with the whole Stratton family(so good to see you all). These girls had so much fun together & got to do so many fun things while they stayed overnight together. I picked Haley up this morning, and we headed to church-Haley had the whole church sign Happy Birthday to her, followed by a Young Spanish group who sang 3 songs to Haley.

Haley's birthday was made very special by having the front yard, trees etc being decorated by some very great friends(Thanks Thompson's)-this put a smile on all our faces:) Dani our 4 year old neighbor had a party for Haley-this was SO cute(she has talked about this for days), she had bought cupcakes for Haley-Dani, Amanda, Haley & Hanna had a mini party:) Lots of treats she had put out for us. Such a sweet thing for such a young girl to think of.

We had several visitors today, lots of phone calls, emails, lots of goodies dropped off at the door, lots of homemade cards(from sweet young kids) & something real COOL happened.....Haley received a phone call today, which was so FUN- the phrase that this person said to me to believe in the phone call is GIT-R-DONE!!!! To those of you who knows who says that-yes Larry the Cable guy called to visit with Haley on her birthday & said that he hopes her day was great & wanted to see if she recvd his card yet:) Haley as well as Larry said that they hope they get the chance to meet one another.

The response that we have received for Haley's birthday card request has been so overwhelming....I pray that Haley continues to fight this beast, come out with her WIN and is able to look back many years from now & say "Do you remember when all those Wonderful people sent me ALL those birthday cards & gifts?". This is something that I will truly consider a Miracle, but I know that as long as we are realistic about this and can see both sides of the fence, with the Power of Prayer & Faith we can win. This is how we must believe, feel & know.

I can't leave without indicating how our little Hanna is doing, I know that things have been VERY hard for her and I know that there is nothing more that I could do on a daily basis to make this any easier, but let her know how much we LOVE her & need her:) These 2 girls have such a Wonderful relationship(always have) & as they grow old together I want this to never change. We Love you Hanna:)

Haley is very tired(which is to be expected), having some pain in the left leg where they radiated, but is still doing her best and loving her babygirl Comet so much!!!

Thanks for continued support & prayers

With all our Love
Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

Friday, April 8, 2005 1:40 PM CDT

I know that I may not have computer access this weekend & wanted to get the message out to those who read & check in on Haley......Words could never begin to explain the feeling that our family feels right now!! A simple request to make this 12th birthday a Great one for Haley & we are swimming in cards, envelopes, gifts etc....We will be taking pictures of the girls with I would say at least 3,000 cards-not including envelopes from classes, churchs, daycares and the packages-I sure hope that you will be able to see Haley & Hanna in the picture when I take it. I can't tell you how much this feeling gives us chills. The road that we along with other families who are fighting a childhood illness face everyday is such a horrifying event, but that road is made a little easier with the support of such wonderful....wonderful....wonderful people/friends as you!!!! These birthday cards for Haley's 12th birthday-we know our just a few of the prayers that are being sent up each day & this is exactly what we need to get Haley through & prove the statistics wrong about this young lady. We do feel very strong in knowing that we will not only win this battle, but will get to work on helping anyone else effected by this disease.

As for Miss Haley, she had a SUPER time with her softball friends last night & we Thank them all for coming to Celebrate with her:) This morning she was on Froggy 98 with Gary & Sue-They had a birthday party for her on the radio & it was so much fun-the girls had a blast(kinda shy), but have talked about all day now!!! She was given so much, but the cardboard, autographed picture of Kenny-who was holding 4 tickets to his April 24th show-was Grand!!! The ice cream cake for breakfast was very good & this HUGE card that they got filled with signatures is Super.

Lots of birthday fun planned for this young lady & I hope that this birthday is the start of a promising future for her!!! As for her leg-it is still hurting lots & the MRI that was ran yesterday shows the tumor in her leg, that is pretty good size & that is what is causing her so much pain. So she will hopefully be getting this area of her leg radiated today along with her brain treatment, this should make her leg feel better for this weekend.

I know that I am forgetting lots, but please know the main message behind all of this is...that we are fighting hard to make little Miss Haleygirl feel as Great as she can, enjoy this special birthday & send HUGE Thanks to each of you who are reading this & have been apart of this Wonderful card drive for Haley & for those who also sent a card for Miss Hanna:)

God Bless each of you on this wonderful weekend & Please know how much we Love you!!!

Ya Gotta Believe
Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

Thursday, April 7, 2005 12:19 AM CDT

Hello to EVERYONE!!! Haley has been feeling pretty well since my last update(we have been busy & hadn't had the computer working).She is completely shining & overwhelmed with the cards & gifts that she keeps receiving each day. I can't begin to tell you HOW very much this has all meant to Haley & our family. She said she was afraid she might not get all these cards opened by her birthday....Guess what??? There is NO way that she could:) Thanks for making this 12th birthday the BEST!!!!!

I will keep this journal short as we are waiting to see if Haley can get in for an MRI of her leg today, she started having some pain right where the tumor is located in her leg & if we can have them treat with radiation-we want to get started ASAP. Spirit wise-she is feeling & acting SUPER....she misses being in school with her friends & teachers & is looking forward to some girl fun for her birthday.

Haley received a phone call the other day that she had won a basketball hoop that she signed up for-so we are considering this her fresh start to a run of Good Luck:)

Haley wanted me to make sure & ask that you all keep the many of friends of hers that are fighting this beast called cancer in your prayers. She has a HUGE heart & wants to help so many other children out, but at this point we have ask for her to make sure she is taking care of her first-but the prayers will continue to go up from us each night for these very special friends & their families.

LiveSTRONG
The Mathis family

Friday, April 1, 2005 9:53 PM CST

So sorry I haven't updated in a few days. It seems like the days just keep flying by & we are soooo busy. Haley is still traveling to Omaha everyday Monday-Friday for radiation and Hanna is keeping busy with school. This leaves very little time for much else, but to try and squeeze taxes in for me and cleaning.

Haley is feeling well and has been able to get outside with her little busy puppy to enjoy some nice weather. She has been drinking and eating the best she can & we are very pleased with her progress in beating this beast. She knows that she is not in this fight alone, but that she is in the #1 position to help get through this by the things that she does. Kids are SO wonderful when it comes to this....they just know that they need to do what their parents tell them:)

Today on our way home, we came a different direction to pick up Haley's medicine in Lincoln and came past Fairview Cemetary-we stopped and visited Josh's site. This was very hard for Haley-it really made her think alot and realize how much she misses Josh & his Wonderful smile & voice. I know that today marks another day that his family no longer gets to hold him, kiss him etc. They will always have the memories of Josh, but the pain that they continue to feel is just not fair or right. Here is sending you all Big Hugs tonight on this 1st day of the month, 4 months after your sweetie earned his wings.

I want to take a few lines to talk about Hanna....her life has been changed but in a very different way than Haley's. Hanna doesn't go through the physical side of this beast, but the emotional ride is there for her & I'm sure nothing is ever fair to her, she doesn't receive gift and cards everytime Haley does, nor does she expect it. I know there is no real easy way for me to say this or ask, but Hanna is in need of spending some girl time with her friends. Her birthday came & went and we were not able to have a Birthday party for her, she would love to be involved in more sports etc, but knows that we are not around all the time to be there for this.

Haley received a very Special gift the other day...it was an autographed picture from Kenny Chesney-WOW we had heard that getting anything from his Management was impossible...well guess what? He must have just known that it was worth his time:) I will get a picture of her & her picture out here sometime soon. Now this doesn't mean that the other gifts she has gotten are not special, the weenie dogs, the Rhino's-these things along with everything else mean so much to all of us. Both girls were given very neat bracelets that say FOREVER on the inside and have pictures on the outside of them that are of our family & the girls(I will try to put a picture of this out there too).

Next I want to say THANKS for all the Birthday wishes for Haley on her site and for the number of cards that she has received so far:) She just can't wait for me to bring her mail to the van as we are headed to her treatments, this makes the drive up there a quick one for her. She truly LOVES the Birthday wishes from each of you. As I have said before, she is our true Hero, but people like you taking the time to give blood, send a card etc-can consider yourself a Very special person as well. To those of you who would still like to send Haley a card you can mail them to PO Box 27, Panama NE 68419. God Bless each of you!!!

Ya Gotta Believe

The Mathis Family

Tuesday, March 29, 2005 10:15 PM CST

Haley is starting to feel lots better and is doing real well with the radiation. She is starting to have a little trouble with her ears from all of this, they do not block out the ears when radiating, so this may cause lots of trouble down the road...but down the road seems soooo far away & we must worry about the now.

We will be meeting with Dr G tomorrow & talking about what steps are next to take with Haley & treatment, since the only thing we are working on right now is the tumors in her head. She has been complaining of some pain in her chest/stomach area & not being able to get comfortable. We hope that this is short stayed & finds its way out of her body soon.

**Of course most of you know that Haley is having her 12th birthday coming up real soon~Sunday April 10th!!!! If we could make it happen, I would love to knock her socks off with lots of cards....she loves to get cards in the mail:) She would be overwhelmed if she started getting lots of cards from all over the country for her birthday!! I have our mailing address listed on the website, but I will list it again in here-PO Box 27, Panama NE 68419. ** Thanks for making this happen-it will make her SMILE...SMILE...SMILE!!!

Live like you were dying-give praise & love to those you care for & let those who love you show the same in return!!

Thanks for prayers
The Mathis family

Saturday, March 26, 2005 10:29 PM CST

Happy Easter to each of you & your families. Thanks so much for following Haley's progress. She is off of her IV fluids and is trying to eat & drink better on her own. As of today things weren't going all that well for this part of her job, we were really hoping that the steroids would make her want to eat everything. We truly believe that the radiation is changing her taste once again for everything.

I have tried to put different pictures on the slide show of some of the Wonderful people who have touched our life since 8-19-03, I will be taking more of some very special people & getting them out here, so don't worry if you don't see your picture-we will catch you:) Our gratefulness could never be returned to these wonderful individuals that give so much of there everyday to children & adults who need their help.

May each new morning bring you the wonderful light of LIFE!!

LiveSTRONG
The Mathis family

Friday, March 25, 2005 10:18 PM CST

Thank you for all the prayers-they and the medicine have brought Haley much peace with this beast. She is feeling better by the day:) She had her second radiation treatment yesterday & was sent home with IV fluids, steriods, and ativan to help her relax. All these things together along with the prayers have made a HUGE difference for her. With all the pain Haley was in the other night, there are so many things than ran through not only our heads, but Haley's as well....it truly scared her & to this day-she hasn't been that scared if you can believe that?! She truly has faith in the Lord, her Dr's and us as her parents. That night the Dr on call wanted to give her Morphine & this is something that the name of that drug makes Haley get very mad & upset over(I know the nurses on 6th will know this). Haley doesn't like Morphine at all, she relates this to death. She knows first hand of her sweet friend Josh & she knows that the placed Josh on this & now she isn't able to see him anymore, this breaks her heart & is so very hard for her to talk about. We did convince her that one dose of this was something very different though and helped her sleep a little better that night.

Hanna had soooo much fun at the Heritage school, I will put some pictures out here sometime soon. Her and Haley both took 4th place in the spelling bee there-they thought that was pretty cool. The other story I have to share real quick on Hanna is that she hadn't had time to study these words or poems that they needed to recite since we have been gone, but let me tell you...she was the last child in the class to say her poem(the one she didn't know), well she had listened to everyone else in the class & most of them picked the short one to say, so she memorized it & used that one:) She did wonderful & didn't miss a beat(LOL), what a trooper!!!

Today we went back for Haley's 3rd day of radiation & a unit of Platelets, everything went well & she was able to eat some food today:) She just can't wait to get home everyday to be with Comet-she loves that little girl:)

We pray that each of you have a Wonderful Easter weekend, truly enjoy family time & the reason of the season. We send lots of prayers to those families who are just starting this awful battle, in the middle of their battle, in remission and to those families who are Celebrating Easter this year without that special child in their life.

God Bless
The Mathis family

Thursday, March 24, 2005 12:33 AM CST

Haley is fighting a tough battle right now & needs ALL your prayers & support. She has still been having her headache, but that was worsened 100%+ once she started her 1st radiation treatment yesterday. She started feeling good enough to get her xrays & 1st radiation, but once we got home things changed FAST!! We took her to St E's and were able to have Lisa in infusion stay to take care of Haley, otherwise we would have had to taken her to the ER(which Haley wouldn't have been comfortable with at St E's). Out of all her pain-this was and probably is the worst that she has had. Those tumors were mad as heck that we treated them with radiation & they were fighting back hard to Haley. It was & is sooooooo very terrible to see your child in so much pain. Haley has always been very good with her pain level, but this was the worst by far. Last night was pretty long/short(which ever way you look at it), but we are here at Children's today & are receiving more medicine & will go over to Methodist this afternoon and get her next round of radiation. I pray that this discomfort will leave her body by the 2nd or 3rd day of radiation.

Thanks to both sets of Grandparents for helping us out with all of this. Today was a very important/fun day for Hanna and her class, she got all dressed up in her Heritage outfit and was going back in time to the Heritage school. Haley was so Happy to see Hanna dressed up this morning & can't wait to her how Hanna's day went-Haley had lots of fun in 4th grade when she got to do this. Haley also made Hanna's day by giving her this belt buckle that Hanna wan't real bad, so watch out Pritschau's-Hanna's got a show n tell:)

I will update more as we go, but please say an extra prayer for Miss Haleygirls comfort-this is what we must have right now.

LiveSTRONG
Patti

Wednesday, March 23, 2005 7:49 AM CST

As always here is the update from the latest MRI. Results were once again not in our favor. Haley is NOT eligible for the Gamma Knife procedure & is starting whole brain radiation again today. I believe that she will be getting 14+ treatments, Haley has been there for this before and had whole brain radiation plus additional treatments to the back of her head where the first tumor was found. We were blown away by how many are out there as well the size of the spots!! This poor child of ours has to deal with so much & does the BEST darn job at dealing with it. My prayers at this time are to have Haley's pain go away & have this treatment get rid of these spots & any addtl spots hangin out there. We need to address the spots on her brain first as these are life threatning, then worry about all the addtl spots.

We are feeling so many emotions right now once again, but I can't express my feelings enough to say that we are not giving up on Haley & Haley is not giving up on Haley!! When one door closes(I pray one will open), we all know that we are running out of options but this family is going to fight & fight against this terrible disease and hold our daughter as long as we can!!!!!

Hanna-has been going to school, but knew that she wanted to be there for the results yesterday of the MRI. Thanks so much for being there Hanna, Haley couldn't get through these rough days without you by her side. You are so much more than just a sister to her:)

To each of you, please don't give up on us now, continue those prayers!!! The POWER OF PRAYER will get us through this.

Reaching out to each of you & sending a warm Hug & Thank you for your continued support.

LiveSTRONG HALEYGIRL

Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

Monday, March 21, 2005 7:35 PM CST

Hi everyone, here is a quick update on what's going on with us. Friday-Haley was able to hang out with some friends for a little while:) The girls & I were able to go see a movie with friends on Saturday & we had lots of fun. Haley started kinda having a headache, so Kevin took her for counts on Sunday to make sure she hadn't dropped & yep she had-her Platelets fell from 104 on Thursday to 56 on Sunday, so she received 1 unit of Platelets than. When they got home, she took a nap & still complained of a headache & that her left leg is bugging her. So we need extra prayers that this pain doesn't continue & that it is not a sign that while we wait to get the Gamma Knife done-everything is growing!!!!

We will be heading up to Omaha early in the morning, they have Haley set up for an MRI of the brain at 8:00, than we will get counts & probably Platelets, followed by a visit with the Dr who will be performing the Gamma Knife.

Hanna has been keeping plenty busy with school work, I feel so bad for her. Fourth grade is a busy year of school at Norris & probably not a good one for her to miss lots, but I know that she will do just fine! Hang in there banana boat:) She is always such a HUGE help to not only Haley, but the rest of us here!!!

Thanks for the continue positive power of prayer!!!!

God Bless
Patti

Friday, March 18, 2005 5:18 PM CST

**I got 1 new picture of Haley & Comet in the photo album** I will get more out here soon**

I guess my days just keep slipping by. Tuesday the girls & I went with the Baehr family to have dinner at Valentinos than we headed over to the roller skating rink:) Hanna had lots of fun & Haley enjoyed watching everyone and just visiting.

Wednesday was a FUN day!!!!! Haley is now the very PROUD mother of a mini daschund hound baby named "Haley's Comet", we will call her Comet for short. She is so cute, we will be getting pictures out her sometime over the weekend for all to see. We are VERY Thankful to Tina at the Pet Doctor in Lincoln for getting Haley this wonderful new baby:)

The girls were both able to go attend God's Kids Club on Wednesday. Hanna went to school all week & had lots of fun seeing her friends & teachers.

Thursday-Haley went back for counts with Kevin and they were up high enough so she didn't have to get any transfusions(lets hope this is the beginning of something good).

Hanna was SO happy "No school today" so she got to stay home & play with Haley & Comet:)

Not sure what the weekend holds for us, we hope to let the girls have lots of fun with friends.

We pray that the Doctors will be able to get Haley in for the Gamma Knife sooner than the 30th of this month. While we wait to have them work on the tumors in her head, everything else is growing like crazy.

Prayers go out to each of you & your families

God Bless
The Mathis family

Tuesday, March 15, 2005 10:51 AM CST

I realize how quickly these days go by & that I hadn't updated in awhile. Saturday-Haley was able to go cheer on her 6th grade basketball team and have some ice cream treats after the game, that was LOADS of fun for her. Kevin & Hanna, went and picked up Miss Daisy & boy did they have fun, she loves being back home(we still need to head and pick up Owen yet). Sunday we were able to get to church and visisted with family & friends a little.

Monday-little Miss Hanna went back to school to see her friends & teachers-she was very happy & tired when she came home. Thanks so much to all her wonderful teachers who help her get through the days there.

Haley went in for counts and found out that she was very low on Platelets, so she needed to get 2 units of Platelets yesterday and went back today for 2 units of RBC. If you can donate any blood product- you can truly say that "You are saving someones life", without these transfusions, these children would not be here today. Please know how very much it means to families like ours.

We haven't heard anything back on the Gamma Knife, I believe that they are meeting tomorrow & will contact by Thursday. Haley is still feeling pretty well & still smiling lots. She doesn't have alot of control over her right hand & we are not sure how much of that she will get back, but we will continue to pray & work on that for her. She has ask that Kevin & I continue to move to the next door-when one gets closed in our face, so this is exactly what we are doing. Lots of phone calls, internet time etc. We will NEVER give up on this young lady, and she will NEVER give up on herself(so with that being said, her Miracle will happen-not sure where yet, but believe me when I say it will).

May God be with each of you reading this & please know that our prayers go right back at each of you. CB families continue to fight your battle & love your babies:)

Once again, Thanks for the continued support, prayers, gifts, cards, emails etc. They truly let us know we are not in this alone.

LiveSTRONG
The Mathis family

Thursday, March 10, 2005 11:04 PM CST

**Update as of Friday, we headed to Omaha & will learn more next week from Haley's Dr's. The next step that we will look toward is the Gamma Knife procedure. Please pray that this is the best step & that the Doctors that will be putting everything together take their time & plan it out. There is NO room for any mistakes at this point in this nasty fight. God Bless each of you for following & supporting our family. Stay Rhino Tough

There are words that NO parent should have to hear & those words are some of the following.....Your child has cancer and I'm sorry there is nothing more we can do. These words to me seem SO unreal, but true-why because we have heard them both. We met with Dr Dome and his partners yesterday & just knew what he was going to say. My body just shock with fear, my eyes flooded with tears & the wind was knocked right out of me. They feel that the risk are just to high at this point to continue with Topotecan. Kevin & I realize what this means, but realize that this is just another door that has been shut on us, so we must now continue to research & continue to look at everything else that we can & must do. It was VERY hard to go get the girls after talking with the Dr and him telling us that we could leave right away to take our sweetie back home. We had the girls say Good-bye to so many wonderful people that they met and really enjoyed seeing. I cried for the reasons that the treatment wasn't working, I cried for the girls to not know where we head from here, I cried for the people there that would not be able to witness the Miracle that we needed.

I do not know what our future holds, I do know that we will be busy getting Haley's counts done and getting together with Dr Puccioni on her scans of the brain to determine, what if anything can be done. We pray that they are able to go in with Gamma Knife, surgery or something to help with this issue, than we can get Chemo continued to treat everything else.

God Be with you & your families in the days ahead

** Thanks for all the prayers, cards, gifts, calls, emails these all mean so very much to our family.

Much Love
The Mathis Family

Tuesday, March 8, 2005 5:01 PM CST

**Keep climbing Haleygirl-we as well as so many others are right by yourside honey**

I don't have much time at all. It has been another very long day. In fact it is hard for me to even know what day it is anymore. I know we spent most of the day in the hospital yesterday & Haley did start her Chemo. Haley was very tired last night so she took a little nap, when she woke up she didn't have alot of control over using her right hand & still doesn't. When we came in for Chemo today, we shared this concern with the Dr's who immediately got her a ct scan and that showed that one of her tumor is bleeding. They did not give Haley her Chemo today, the risk of the unknown is just to high. Haley is getting 2 more units of Platelets today. We of course don't know what will be next, Dr Dome came in & visited with us a little, he had just viewed her scans, but needs time to absorb all of this & wants to meet with us tomorrow at 9:00. My heart knows what he is going to say but my strength & faith tell me to believe in another. So I ask that you pray that they find the right direction for Haley.

Will type again when I get more time or when we hear something, until than please continue to pray for Haley.

God Bless
The Mathis Family

To my sweet Hero Haley-honey I know that you don't get on here very much anymore, so you may never see this message....but you are my HERO and will never know what you have done & do for me, your Dad & sister everyday. We will never give up & never give in, so just keep your wonderful spirit & faith sweetheart-you can take it to the highest mountain top or the deepest valley & we will be right by your side. Keep up the fight-you will WIN this battle honey. Forever & For-always

Hanna-you are the toughest little trooper there is sweetie. You hold your sister tight & let her know that you will never let her go honey. Forever & For-always to you too.

Sunday, March 6, 2005 7:53 PM CST

****Ya Gotta Believe**** This is a quote from Tug McGraw & this will be our new mission!!!

Well after a few days of thinking I still can't come up with the exact words I would like to say. I know that there are alot of people/friends who get on and read our update & there is no real easy way for me to say what I need to, so please bare with me okay.

The results of the MRI, well they didn't come back like we needed & Haley's Miracle in Memphis is slipping away:( This is so very hard for me to type since Hanna is sitting behind me right now. I know that lots of the girls friends read this & I don't want to scare or hurt someone, but the words that come to mind are the following........Quality vs. Quantity(for you parents & adults) and these words are not the ones that parents should hear.

I could say many things at this point like how very angry/pissed off we are, how very emotional crushed, sick to our stomach-believe me when I say the list goes on. My heart aches, my chest is tight, my stomach is sick, my head hurts, my eyes water but feel so very itchy and dry, I shake and all this because of a stupid disease called Childhood CANCER!!!! This cancer will not win, we will not let it......if we can't get what we need done here in Memphis, than we must move on.

Haley is the light behind my mission-not only to save her life but to find a way so that many other children have a chance and can avoid everything we have went through.

I will try to keep you updated on what steps are next. I do know that Haley got Platelets on Friday, we are back tonight for Platelets and RBC. We will come in the morning and probably get another unit of RBC and possibly look at starting her next round of Chemo. Dr Dome truly felt that there should be more of a change in the scans, but is happy with the fact that we are making Haley comfortable. I myself don't like the word comfortable, so I'm looking for more than that. He will scan her again at the end of this next cycle-so about 4 weeks and we will talk more than, but he is not feeling as strong about this as he was in the beginning. One of the biggest issues is the troubles in her head.........

To try a make everyone feel a little better at the end of this journal, I will let you know that we live the life of not knowing what tomorrow will bring-so we went to Nashville this weekend. We had a nice time there, wasn't sure of what all to do, so we took a bus tour & the girls were very excited to pull up to the end of Alan Jackson's wonderful house, Martina McBride, Brooks & Dunn-it was pretty cool. Of course the girls & Kevin smelled out a co-gart place so we went there a couple times, did some swimming & just got away from it all.

I wish that I had better news & would love to make it sound like we were headed in some different direction, but please know that we are not & never will give up our hope & faith in Haley's Miracle whether it be in Memphis or somewhere else.....we will get there with all of your help.

In the Lords name
The Mathis family

Thursday, March 3, 2005 9:28 PM CST

**Friday update, we haven't heard on MRI yet, but know that Haley will be getting Platelets today and probably back for RBC on Saturday or Sunday. So we most likely won't get to Nashville this weekend, but that's okay-we will get there at some point.

Well the official word is in & Dr Dome agrees at this point NO.....that's right I said NO new growth!! We are of course very happy, but know that this is just a little step, but note that it is forward & not back:) We will wait for the MRI at 6:45 in the morning & get results later in the day, but are feeling that it will carry the same results. If her lab work comes back good, she will start Chemo on Monday and go through Friday with Saturday & Sunday being her 2 days off, than back for treatment Mon-Friday again than have 2 weeks off-so we will try to head home again! He will rescan once again at the end of this cycle & that will tell a whole lot more, the medicine doesn't always have the positive results they need for it to when you run the scan so early in the treatment.

Today was a very nice day here and we took advantage of it......we went and did some putt putt golf, laser tag and did some racing in go-carts(yes Haley was the winner in the go-carts). It was a truly wonderful day & we hope to take advantage of Haley feeling so well & her counts allowing her to not have to wear a mask right now...who knows we may even head to Nashville this weekend:)

Haley & Hanna wanted me to make sure that I typed a note to their Norris Girls basketball team out here....Go Titans-Take State Girls & Boys!! We wish we were there to chear you all on, but know that we are thinking of you all & can't wait to hear the score of tonights game.

Sending a Special Thanks to those who had a raise the roof dinner/fund for us last night at the Shepard of the Hills Church. It sounds like it was a very nice time & good turn out, Thanks for thinking of our family.

I don't know alot about it, but I know that Froggy 98 is having a Country Cares for St Jude Kids on March 18th & 19th. I know even before we were dealing with this cancer, I would hear the stories on my way to work & would just cry....cry...cry. This is a terrible thing and I praise those that are working hard to make a difference.

Lord hear our Prayers
The Mathis family

Wednesday, March 2, 2005 9:53 PM CST

Well Hanna & I are sitting here at the Memphis Grizzlie House while Dad & Haley try to get a little rest. Haley herself is feeling Good:) Today was a pretty long day and of course we don't know the results from her scans yet, but we ran into Dr Domes partner and she viewed Haley's scans and seemed to think at this point that she didn't see new growth!! I will wait till tomorrow & her from the Dr himself what he feels & will just pray & pray tonight that we are headed in the right direction.

Our family has went through so much over the past 19 months and has went through lots of emotions, stress, guilt, anger, sadness, scared the list goes on. But where I am headed with this is that I want each of you to realize the very sad #'s of this thing called Childhood cancer and that it effects so many families. My wish is not only for my sweet daughter to be free from fighting this illness, is that each of you take a step back and look at your family and spend quality time together. Look at each day as a gift that we can never get back again. Love, Laugh & Live it to the fullest.

We will be meeting with Haley's Dr in the morning tomorrow & hope that he has some positive news for us & that her MRI on Friday is Good news as well so we are able to start this next round of Topotecan.

If you get a minute stop by this site and read the story on Haley.....www.nebraska.wish.org

**Happy Birthday to Uncle Jeff tomorrow**

Prayers for all families going for scans, waiting on results, getting Chemo, having surgery, going through radiation, just starting this fight, those who are dealing with the long term effects, those who have lost their battle & those STRONG children who are in remission right now!!!

God Bless each of you

Thanks for the continued support of prayers~we feel them & he must hear them!!!

The Mathis family

Monday, February 28, 2005 2:35 PM CST

Update we made it to Memphis(I will type more later), but PLEASE say an extra prayer or 2 for the scans that Haley is having done today. We probably won't know the results till we meet with the Dr tomorrow. Thanks so much:)

I know I will not get much time, so it will be fast....but we are headed back down to Memphis. Haley had her counts today and received 2 more units of Platelets(so if you add it up, you bet she needs lots-so that's my plug to go and donate okay....these kids use lots of blood products). We are set up to have scans on Wednesday, meet with her Dr on Thursday and brain MRI on Friday. So we will need LOTS of prayers!!!!

We just have to know that this treatment is working & that Haley can continue on this Chemo. We will update once we get there & check in.

Prayers for the following

A safe return trip to Memphis

Haley continues to feel well & her counts continue to climb

The strength for Kevin, Hanna, Haley & myself to face this next chapter.

The results of these scans be PROMISING!!!

and while you are at it, do our family a favor & say a prayer for yourself:) Please know that you are very important to us & we couldn't continue on this journey without you right here with us!!!!

God Bless each of you

LIVESTRONG
The Mathis family

Friday, February 25, 2005 10:31 PM CST

Thanks for stopping by and checking in on us!! We have loved being back home and enjoying some family time with the dogs. Haley has made several trips to St E's for counts and had several transfusions this week. We will take her in tomorrow morning and see if she needs Platelets or RBC again. She is really feeling pretty good through this, I wish her ANC was something above 0-100, than she would be able to visit with friends and family while we are home.

This week Haley has pulled two more teeth since we have been back home, it is so hard for her to eat any food, she has lost so many teeth over the past 8 months, they permenant ones aren't growing in fast enough.

We will be in touch with Dr Dome again on Monday to see if we are headed back down there. It really depends on how her counts climb. They have her set up for scans on Wednesday, meet with Dr Dome on Thursday and a brain MRI on Friday.

Tonight we watched the movie John Q again, WOW does this get your emotions running. I know that life is not fair and we could go on forever about the complaints we have, but my main emotion is for these young children who have done NOTHING to anyone and don't deserve this terrible illness(not that anyone does). It breaks my heart to think of how many families we have met that are dealing with this, I really knew nothing about Childhood cancer. Haleys friend Kayla was diagnosed in Kindergarten and almost to the date 5 years later Haley was diagnosed. I don't say that we have our degree yet, cuz believe me there is so much to learn through all of this. But we have to be as knowledgable as we can(it is hard). Thanks to all the Doctors & Nurses for their dedication to this business.

We continue to pray everyday for the Miracle that we need for Haley and we ask that the Lord reach down and protect these sweet children and their families.

Don't forget to tell and show those you love how much you love them, reach out your arms and squeeze them tight, pick up the phone and call them.

LIVESTRONG
The Mathis family

Wednesday, February 23, 2005 9:21 PM CST

hi its me hanna
just wanted to let you know everbody is doing fine
haley got 2 more units of platelets yesterday and will go back tommorrow
my mom will update more and put new pictures on the site

thank for the prayers & card/gifts

hanna banana

Monday, February 21, 2005 9:18 PM CST

Ten things to Always Remember...and One thing to Never Forget....

Your presence is a present to the world~
You're truly one of a kind~
Your life can be what you want it to be~
Take the days one at a time~
Coutn your blessings, not your troubles~
You'll make it through whatever comes along~
Within you are so many answers~
Have courage~
Be strong~
Wish upon a star, and don't ever forget...how very special you are~

Hello to all our friends!! We are loving being back home. Haley had 2 units of RBC on Saturday, went back on Sunday and received Platelets. Both days were very long, so she was VERY Happy to be home today....ALL Day:) We are keeping Hanna home from school, so that she does not catch anything from school. I know she would really like to see all her friends, but she truly knows she wants to be there for Haleys scans next week. She can always catch up on school, she can't get a new sister & I think this is the approach Hanna is taking on this.

Let me tell you a little bit about some wonderful friends we met at the Ronald McDonald House. Jordan who is from New Orleans and was a tropper through the whole time we seen them and Collin who is from Alabama-he was a cutie who always played with his trains. I will once I get permission from their families-list their CB websites. They were a lot of fun & we had a good time getting to know them.

I really think I could type forever, but I know that it is hard to read long entries. It feels like we haven't be home for 4 months or more, I can't believe that it is almost March....WOW!!!

We wanted to make sure & say "Thanks to the Gratopps for the wonderful delivery of the RUNZA'S". Not only did we love to eat them, but they were the conversation of so many down there, they had never heard of them & wanted to know how to make them:) Great gift guys, Thanks so much for doing this-they made us smile & filled our tummies up!!

Tomorrow we head back to St E's for counts & probably Platelets again. I will update once we are done and let you know how the day went. Please keep my brother Mike in your prayers tonight as he is going in for heart surgery tomorrow as well.

**Faith doesn't get you around problems, it takes you through them**

God Bless
The Mathis family

Saturday, February 19, 2005 9:22 PM CST

It's a secret.....were home:) Yeah it feels so good, anyway I will update more. We headed back yesterday and stayed overnight in Kansas last night. We got back at about 11:30 today and went to St Elizabeth Hospital, Haley had to get 2 units of RBC and will go back for Platelets tomorrow-so it turned out to be a pretty long day again!!!

Thanks for the journal entries & emails.

Thinking of you all & sending Big Hugs your way.

Love
The Mathis family

Thursday, February 17, 2005 9:50 AM CST

Well yesterday turned out to not be much fun at all. Hanna somehow ended up with the flu & got me up around 2:30 in the morning-I ended up having to mop & do laundry at 3:00 in the morning:( I felt so bad for her, she felt so bad, since she knew she didn't want Haley to get sick. We spent the day trying to keep to mask girls apart from one another. This is not an easy thing to do when you have 1 room. Both girls ran fevers over night & we just knew that Haley would end up in the hospital last night, but guess what?? She didn't and when we checked in this morning-the man upstairs knew that she wanted to go home & took that fever away:)

We are waiting for labs to come back & than to meet with Dr Dome. He will let us know if we are able to head home for a couple weeks or not.

So at this point our prayers are needed....

Good climbing counts
Hanna to be over her sickness
Haley to be fever free
Dr Dome to let us go home for a little while
A safe trip if we do get to go home
For all other families battling an illness

Thanks for continued support-they just pages for us
Gotta Go

God Bless each of you
The Mathis family

Tuesday, February 15, 2005 8:28 PM CST

I don't remember when I last updated but I think it was before Valentines Day. We are finished getting Chemo & have a 2-3 weeks off(with Haley you never know how long its going to take to rebuild counts). Yesterday was nice, it was in the 70's and sunny here. Hanna got the ear phones for her headset she wanted & Haley got this Wonderful Rhino from the zoo(I will put pictures out once I get back home for a few days). The girls made crafts here with some volunteers & than we played a little basketball outside.

They did receive several more gifts & we want to say "Thanks". Let me tell you something(for those of you going through this, you will know what I'm talking about). When your child/children get gifts like they do(all the time), you as a parent begin to wonder if they child will lose the respect of receiving?? Is the meaning of Christmas etc ever going to be the same?? Well, I can say for my girls only...Yes, it will. These gifts come from the heart & these girls, are willing to pack them up & pass them on. You have to remember the saying "There is always someone else worse off than us".

Today was suppose to be our day off, but we had to go over for counts & they messed them up, so after they sent us back to Ronald-they called & said we needed to come back. Her Platelets had dropped again, so we need to get a transfusions. The girls were lucky enough to receive 2 of 3500 quilts that were made for St Judes and donated. We were tickled pink, when one of them that we received was made from a lady in Bryan Texas-which is where my Aunt Sharon lives:) The day turned out to be another very long one and we will enjoy to its fullest the day off tomorrow. Oh by the way, today tied for an all time high temp of 77 degrees-of course we didn't see much of it:)

Thanks for all the continued support & prayers they make the sunshine for us, even on the darkest days.

Prayers go out from us to all of you reading this & to all the other families who are fighting to save their childs life.

God Bless
Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna too

Sunday, February 13, 2005 8:15 PM CST

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY

Okay I think I am more in the mood to type today than yesterday:) and have a little more time. It sounds like the rainy weather we are having here made its way back home. Yesterday was a very long day-we started out at the hospital at 8:45 and left at 6:00. Today we went back for just Chemo, this allowed us a little more time. We went sight seeing a little bit(since Haley can do this without a mask). We drove over to Mud Island and ordered up a Pizza for 3 of us & can you guess who had to have "Subway"? Anyway we went straight down from there to Beale Street(which was blocked off right now for an event), thats okay-it was neat seeing what we did & once Haley's counts climb-we will go back. The girls came back to Ronald McDonald and made lots of Valentine Decorations-they had so much fun, this keeps them busy & the time just goes by so quickly.

As for the girls-I want to take a minute and type something to them, so that when they are both older & reading this-they can feel how much they mean to us.

Haley-Our first born girl-You are truly the bright light, you have been the one to sit back and pass up oppurtunities that have come your way to allow someone else to be able to have a turn. You have been the BEST BIG sister anyone could ask for. You are a remarkable Daughter, Sister, Granddaughter, Niece, Cousin, Friend, Neighbor, Student-the list goes on honey. As for my daughter-you are not just that sweetie, you are my friend, my heart & my life. Please know that this fight you are dealing with is VERY unfair & that not only you have learned and will grow from this, but you have CHANGED so many other lives. We LOVE you honey!!

Hanna-Our second born babygirl-You are truly the sunshine to each day, you never let an oppurtunity pass you by and that has helped in so many situations. You are and have been the BEST LITTLE sister Haley could ask for. You too are a remarkable Daughter, Sister, Granddaugther, Niece, Cousin, Friend, Neighbor, Student-your list keeps going sweetie. As for my babygirl-you are more than that, you are my friend, my heart & my life too. You have missed so much over the last year and half and I know that we could never get those days back for you, but I know that you wouldn't want it any other way. Thanks for being there to help your whole family out, it wouldn't be the same without you being involved. We LOVE you sweetie!!

**Thanks for letting me get that out & in the open.**

We wanted to make sure and send Big Thanks for all the gifts that we have received, like I said earlier in a journal-I'm not going to single out each of you, because it would break my heart to miss someone(very easy for me to do, when I'm working under stree). The gifts truly make the girls shine, but most of all, just knowing how many of you care & pray is so HUGE.

Happy Valentines to each of you reading this & please don't forget to call the ones you love that are not with you today, hug the ones that are with you and pray for those who have left you.

Big prayers for our last day of treatment, than we have 2 weeks off, which will most likely be spent doing alot of transfusions. Than we will be doing scans in 2 weeks, this is where we will ask for PRAYERS and more to have positive results with this treatment.

God Bless each of you
The Mathis 4

Saturday, February 12, 2005 4:24 PM CST

Not much to update from Memphis. Haley came in for Chemo today and is still here getting Platelets and Blood. Her counts really dropped, so we will have them check again on Monday.

Everyone is doing good, seems like we are just getting tired & tired by the day.

Don't have much time on this computer, we will try to update a little more later today or tomorrow.

Thanks for all the prayers

Lots of Love
The Mathis Family

Thursday, February 10, 2005 7:16 PM CST

Another update from the state of Memphis. I will start by talking about the carnival that the girls went to yesterday over at St Jude. They did have fun, there was a few games to play & some books for the girls to get, they didn't want to get their picture taken with Spiderman-maybe next time:) They provided dinner last night & we played BINGO, one of Haley's favorite games:) Hanna was so mad-she was 1 # away for blackout & someone else yelled out:(

The girls did get lots of goodies in the mail yesterday and today. I will try to Thank each of you, but will probably change over to just saying "Thanks in general to all", so that I don't make the mistake and overlook someone or something. Aniello & family-the Hershey gift boxes are wonderful(we can't wait to taste test). The Brestels and their heavy/wonderful box of treats, the Super Angels that always mail such cute things. Aunt Sharon & Uncle Morris for the phone card & money. The Gratopp family-Thanks for the package of Valentine goodies:) Kody & Jami(we did finally get a few of the cards & cranes today)-Thanks for sending daily notes:)

** Now on to what I refer to as the crappy news.......This would be the PET scan that I said I wasn't going to get worried about, well now I know why. Take in to consideration that we haven't actually talked with Dr Dome, but with his partner, so we will try to speak with him a little more about this and what it truly means. The spots in Haley's head/brain, didn't seem to be as alarming as they thought, but there were a couple spots on her Liver that are of concern. There is something in her stomach and they do strongly believe(they know) it is tumor, it is located behind the pancreas and down toward the left renal hilum and another larger metastatic deposit in the space behind her bladder. To those of you who know that she had been having trouble with her left leg, know we know why!!!! We had an xray a month or so ago of this leg in Omaha when it was hurting her, wasn't sure if something was wrong with her blood clots, well this has nothing to do with blood clots:( She has metastasis in the left tibia and they feel this is in the bone. Like I said, we will talk with her Dr and see how he feels about all this and what it all means.

Haley's counts were looking good on Monday, but came crashing down today. Her ANC was only at 300 and her Platelets fell to 68, they will be tranfusing her at an earlier stage than any other(50).

I hope I haven't forgot anything, we will be doing treatment through Monday, with I'm sure a few transfusions and Chemo treatment everyday. Now with her counts being this low, we have to pray that if she starts to run a fever, it takes care of itself or she has bought herself a ticket to the hospital for a couple days at least.

We can't Thank you enough for everything and I don't want to sound like a broke record, but please know how much it truly means to us.

We reach high to the sky with loads of prayers tonight & ask that you watch over Haley & guide her in the direction of her "Miracle in Memphis"-cause that is truly what it will be.

P.S. Haley just wanted to let us know today, that it is 2 months till her 12th birthday:)

God Bless
Patti

Tuesday, February 8, 2005 7:31 PM CST

Hello to all!! Yesterday was long, but we got it done and don't know the results:) We had today & tomorrow off, so we will check back in on Thursday-any other time I would want to know the results right away, but in this situation......I think we can wait!! They are more to help Dr Dome & his team, the way our luck runs-if they were for us, we would find more cancer.....so that's why I say the PET scan is for them.

Haley couldn't eat yesterday until 4:00 and boy was she hungry....she wanted her ol' time favorite-Subway:) We did have fun at the Superbowl party and the Target house is another beautiful building they have for families to stay in. Alot of international families are put up over there since it is like a 2 bd apartment.

Today, we all tried to sleep in a little:) Instead of snow here, it is rainy & gray everyday. But that didn't stop us from taking the girls to the Zoo, it was very nice...they have 2 Pandas there, I wish they would of been awake so we could have seen them play, maybe next time:) Guess what we did get to do???? They had 2 Rhinos and once the Mathis family woke them up, the one kept coming over so that we could pet/scratch him on the back....That was Super cool!! Of course we took lots of pictures and had to stop by that silly gift shop & buy what??? yes more Rhinos-look what you got started Barry!!! It's a good thing, when you truly think of the meaing behind how strong these animals are....and everything Haley has gone through....She IS Rhino tough:)

Tonight we headed back over to the Target house for a Valentines dinner they were having and watched(of course couldn't be involved, some one might laugh at us) line dancing going on. Even though the girls didn't want to get up and dance, they had a good time watching.

Tomorrow will probably be low key, stay around here & get a few cards and bills written out.

I almost forgot, yesterday we stopped downstairs to see if we had any mail & the gentleman down there said that I would need to get a wagon....I almost laughed at him, but went and got one. I'm sure glad I did, Hanna helped me load up. Thanks so much to Haley's Angels for sending lots of goodies to the girls, they loved opening them up.

**I want to hit on a keynote to all of you, we are not excepting gifts from any of you, we need prayers & lots of them okay, so that's what our goal is.....Keep the prayers going and ask the Lord to allow Haley her given amount of time her with us....Like I once told Dr Gnarra and Anisa-this is a girl who wants to live to be 111 years old. I'm not sure why she choose that age, but whatever works for her is just fine.

Thanks for the ongoing prayers for not only Haley, but our family in general & all of those out there who are fighting this nasty beast.

Please stop by and offer an addtl prayer to Mike-Schuylers dad and her brother Josh, Schuyler earned her wings and is now playing with her Mom in heaven.
www.caringbridge.org/ne/schuylerpeterson

God Bless each of you & your families
The Memphis Mathis family

Adress to the Ronald McDonald House is
Ronald McDonald House
Haley Mathis Room #8
535 Alabama Avenue
Memphis TN 38105

Sunday, February 6, 2005 3:32 PM CST

Well the weekend is coming to an end around here I guess(heck we don't know what weekend vs weekday is anymore). Haley's treatment will run through tomorrow and than she will have 2 days off:) Tomorrow will be a very long day, we start out around 7:45 and get finished around 4:30, she will be having 2 PET scans dones tomorrow to help the Doctors determine where all the little cancer cells are hiding out at. She has started to run low grade fever a little, but they say that is one of the side effects. If she gets to 100.4, we must take her in & they will admit her and treat with anitbiotics. We pray that this doesn't happen though. She will also be having her labs drawn, so we should know how much her counts have dropped.

As for the mood around here, pretty good....we are all just sticking together, clean our 1 room(that's everything) apartment as much as we can. We did take the girls to the Children's Museuem yesterday and they seemed to have a good time:) They both had to buy a Rhino from the Gift shop!!

I almost forgot, yesterday we all learned how to play a Harmonica...wow it was alot of fun & the girls did Super:) Now they have something to teach their friends when they get back home.

They were tickled pink, when the front desk called & said they had a delivery....Thanks to the Urbanosky family-the girls loved their goodies:)

We are heading over to the Target house(1 step up from the Ronald McDonald house) for a Superbowl party, we will see what they got going on & try to have a little fun.

The special prayers that we ask for now....

No bleeding in Haley's head, that could/would cause lots of complications.

Her counts to remain high enough, for no hospitalization.

That her body reacts to the Chemo & gets rid of this nasty beast.

For the protection over all the Doctors & Nurses who are working with us.

Prayers for all our friends who are fighting this battle.

Thanks for checking in on us

The girls want to say "Hi to everyone back at Children's in Omaha". To all their friends & teachers at Norris School. To all their CB family/friends, to all of Mom's co-workers and to all of our relatives.

God Bless each of you
Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

Thursday, February 3, 2005 8:35 PM CST

**Moved over to the Ronald McDonald today & trying to get settled in. I will update more over the weekend, at this point Haley is feeling pretty good. Thanks for the continued support & prayers-we need & love them.**

Hi everyone its Hanna and I wanted to say "Thanks for all the prayers and support" and I wanted to say "Hi to all my friends in 4th grade, I miss seeing you all". I'm staying her with my Mom, Dad & sister Haley, we are staying at the Memphis Grizzlies and will move tomorrow to the Ronald McDonald house. Bye for now- ttfn(ta ta for now)& lyl(love you lots) Hanna :)

Okay everyone, Hanna came down with me tonight and wanted to type a little bit.

As for our day, we met with Doctor Dome this morning and I guess were not surprised with what he had to say, but are SO very thankful that at least we were given an option. Dr Dome said that the Nurosurgeons did not feel that they needed to go in a do a surgery or drain either of the blood leaks that Haley had right now. They did feel however that if we did nothing, one of them would get bigger and cause if not permanent damage-take her life. This is NOT something that we as parents are willing to let happen, but do realize that we are not in control. So I guess the decision we made was tough, but as I indicated-the only one we felt we had. Dr Dome did say that we could start this treatment, but wanted us to know that Haley is considered very high risk and of course this changes those percentages that we were looking at early(before we came), but if you look at it....at least he still gave us a percent!!! The chance of Haley reacting to the treatment in a positive note are not all that high, and the chance of the cancer coming back are high as well, but the Dr did indicate-that he feels Haley is feeling good & looks wonderful-so with that being said.........WE MUST FIGHT FOR HER LIFE!!!!

As Hanna indicated we will be moving over tomorrow and will continue treatment through Monday, with having Tuesday & Wednesday as our weekend. Dr Dome, will be transfusing Haley with Platelets at a much higher # than we have in the past to try & help avoid any excess bleeding. He feels that she will be needing lots of blood & platelets over the next month, so if you can donate...Please do!! We will continue this treatment for 2 weeks, with a 2 week rest and the end of this 4 week period, we will re scan everything & PRAY that we are making progress. If we are we will continue for a total of 4-6 months, if it is not working, we PRAY that they find another route to take with Haley.

**Haley & Hanna did receive their special first day package from Jami & Kody!! Thanks guy-love ya

As well today, they picked up 2 BIG boxes, from Angel Lynda(Thanks so much-the girls loved everything). And another special delivery from Haley's sweet buddy in Eagle, Cole Reynoldson & his daycare....You kids & your parents are so Special to us-Thank you all & Haley sends Big Hugs back to each of you:)

I guess since we didn't come prepared and bring a lot with us, some of the following would be helpful.....
Target cards
Phone cards
35 mm film
Walgreens card
The book....Where the sidewalk ends(the girls would love a copy of this)

As I think of things I will add...not too much comes to mind right now.

Prayers for the following

Haley courage, love, faith and strength to deal with this new harsh Chemo

Hanna the warmth of family and understanding(if there is) of this awful disease

The Doctors who are treating Haley now & those who have treated her

Haley continue to have the strength to eat & feed her body

The treatment that will Cure(I don't know if that ever happens) Haley & let her live a normal life.

To all the girls friends, near & far from home-they miss each of you & send love to all.

Morgan-Thanks soooo much for the wonderful pillow & the meaning behind the pillow-Haley thinks of you often & sends big loves to the whole Peters family.

Lots of Hugs & Prayers to each of you reading
God Bless
The Mathis family

Wednesday, February 2, 2005 7:15 PM CST

Let me start off by updating you on yesterday(if I can remember)-VERY long!! Haley took a monthly breathing treatment in place of Bactrim, than they injected her with radio active material & took labs after 1, 2 & 4 hours. She had her MRI of the brain later in the day & met with the Doctors. She wasn't feeling all that well last night.
At one point I ask Haley what was wrong & she all teary eyed looked at me & said "I don't like it here Mom, I don't feel like anyone knows me/us." I told her at this point, they know of us, but they will get to know us, it is very hard, but that we would be just fine:)

Now as for today....the weather is terrible(dark & rainy) and the news we received wasn't any better than that. Dr Dome called us early this morning & indicated that Haley's MRI came back with some of the spots that were bleeding. So he told us we would not be starting chemo today & that we needed to come in to visit with him, once he viewed the scan himself and than to have an ultrasound done of the blood clots in her legs & vena cava. He not only told us that the couple of spots that are bleeding are an issue, but that since her last scan in December there are several new spots(6-7) and some are not in the ideal location(if there is one). With this being said, we were all in there with him at this time & did not want the girls to panic, so we did the best we could. He also indicated that there is & has been a spot in her stomach(that Dr Gnarra, was aware of & wanted them to look at a little closer-we didn't know any of this & wonder if this is why she has had so many troubles with her stomach). Lets see there is yet more what I would consider crappy news, like one of the spots on her Liver is larger and they are very worried about these spots on her brain & that she could have a seizure(how much can one little brave girl have to fight against & for another girl to have to be scared for her sister & for parents to be sick to their stomachs)!!! One of the spots that is/has been bleeding is very close to her brain stem(which controls so much of your motor skills, muscle control etc.). Today he was going to meet with their Nuro Doctors & will discuss options with us in the morning(without the girls). We/they are not sure if the Topetecan is an option anymore, it may be too high of a risk.

So I guess I come to you all tonight to ask for URGENT prayers....

That the new spots that our found, can & will be treated.

That as very scared/concerned parents we make the right choice-either a treatment that can & will be of a very high risk(bleeding) etc. or not going with the treatment....we don't see it that we have much of a choice!!! We must do it & it MUST work for our daughter

For comfort not only for Haley right now but for Hanna as hard as each day is for her too.

The Doctors to all work together & fight their hardest for this sweet child.

Someone had ask if I would put a list of items that we need out here, I can't think of many, but know that I will try to come up with a few things within the next week.

To those of you who are saying an extra prayer tonight, think of that WONDERFUL smile Haley has & hear the words coming from her & us saying "Thanks for the support & prayers-God truly knows we need them".

God Bless
Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

Tuesday, February 1, 2005 1:57 PM CST

Hi everyone, we are waiting to go downstairs for a MRI of the brain at 2:30, so I thought I would type a little update. Yesterday was a full day of test and scans. Haley is feeling pretty good still & got to meet Dr Dome yesterday. We have met so many different people that work here, it is truly amazing. At this point I do have to say that we miss Childrens(we LOVE the people there & of course know where everything is at). The hard thing about being here is...it is so BIG & you just feel out of place kinda, I know this will change once we get into routine though.

Haley's Dr was thinking of starting her Chemo tomorrow, but I'm not sure that is going to happen, they have to many test yet to complete.

We are still staying over at the Grizzlie House & will probably be moved later this week, but if you mail stuff to the address below they will get it to her & Hanna whereever we are!!

I will try to update later & let you know when we are starting treatment.

Thanks for all the journal entries & emails.

CB families, we are trying our best to make it by a couple sites each night.

Lots of Love to everyone back home
The girls say "Hi to all their friends & teachers at Norris"

God Bless
Patti

Sunday, January 30, 2005 8:57 PM CST

We are here!!!! We had a nice trip down-Haley was feeling better this time, than on either trip we took to Colorado for Christmas & her MAW trip to Disney. Wish she would have felt like this those two times:)

Saturday we drove to St Louis and stayed overnight in a Hotel, so the girls could do a little swimming & we got up early this morning(swan again) and headed for the Arch!!! Ready or not....those of you who know Haley-Guess what???? She did it, she went to the top of the arch & I think actually had fun:) Her & Hanna-thanked Kevin & I for taking them there, they thought it was really neat to be there and of course loved to get a couple soveniors.

It was a pretty uneventful trip down, nothing to crazy-fast driving and lots of lanes. We actually seen a lot of green grass the futher down here we got. That is weird to see in January.

Once we got to Memphis we made our way to St Judes and got Haley checked in. Everything so far-has gone okay. (Anisa they did everything the "Haley way"). We are staying at the Grizzlie house tonight & most likely will start staying at the Ronald McDonald place or the Target house(a 2 br apt). These places are very nice-I'm not to sure about the neighborhood we are in(they said it is the older part of Memphis & to be very careful). Heck we are dealing with this nasty thing cancer-I'm not going to be scared of any fools out there driving fast cars, loud music & guns...oh wait did I say I wasn't going to be scared...LOL

I think that I will be able to type more updates-if they have a computer like this.

Tomorrow we will head over for probably a longer day at the hospital, we will be meeting her new Doctor here-Jeffrey Dome and the nurses that will be working with Haley & us. We are not sure how everything works, so once I find out I will update more.

Thanks for all the continued prayers for our family & all the other families who are fighting so hard right now, for those who have lost a sweet child & for those who have not what I would say "won the battle", but who are in remission-they still needs lots of prayers too.

Big Hugs to each of you reading this entry
Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

Friday, January 28, 2005 5:16 PM CST

Haley has been approved to go to St Judes!!!! We are very excited,scared etc....pretty much lots of emotions are running. I will type more to this entry later, but we are going to leave for a little while.

Thanks for all the prayers-just look where they have gotten us:)

Lots of Hugs
The Mathis gang

Okay everyone, we will be heading out tomorrow and go half way probably to St Louis and stay overnight. The girls can go see the Arch while we are there & maybe eat so barbque!!! Sunday we will head the second half of the way to Memphis.

I may not get to update the first couple of days that we are there, so don't panic. We will be overwhelmed with so much & concentrating on Haley & her treatment.

Once we get the address I will place it on here, with her room # etc.

Continue to pray for a safe trip there and for Haley and her strength to face this harder treatment & new hospital.
I know that she will be in Great hands, but we will miss the routine of Children's and those WONDERFUL people/family there.

God Bless
Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

Wednesday, January 26, 2005 11:22 PM CST

Okay so this day has gotten away from me & I know I need to make this short & to the point-so here it goes.......Haley's counts come in at 119!!!!! Can you believe that, looking at her records she hasn't been that high since February 2004. Anisa called & was putting everything that Dr. Dome needs together & Fed Xing it to him, so tomorrow he will call us & let us know if Haley has been approved to come to St Judes & when we need to be there.

I will update tomorrow with more information & hopefully get a new slide show put on before we get ready to leave.

Gotta run for now, Haley & Hanna are feeling good(Hanna is a little on the tired side, she has had so much school work this week & it is hard for her to get to sleep when everyone else is up-Big Hugs Hanna Banana-we love you sweetie).

**Heads up-I think Haley is going to come back to school on Friday, unless the Doctors tell us tomorrow that they need us there sooner. She has a party in Nap class, friends & teachers to see before she takes off for awhile.

Lots of Love
Patti

Monday, January 24, 2005 5:23 PM CST

Let's hear it for those prayers!!!!!Yeah, Yeah, Yeah....we are almost there & need strong prayers over the next 2 days to make these numbers climb even higher okay?!

The counts today were at-are you ready for the drum role..........94!!!!!! That's awesome, we are so close-so we are heading back on Wednesday to Omaha & if we reach that magical #, guess what? We are packing bags and taking off to Memphis. This treatment that they will give Haley will be very hard on her & her counts, so it will be a challenging step, but the results that they have had are strong #'s. We will still and will always be a part of Children's here in Omaha, once they get Haley started at St Judes, they will sent her back to finish her treatment here at home:) So Omaha can't get rid of us for long!!!!

As for a quick note on the Toby concert, I think I covered it pretty well, but the girls did have a Super time & loved meeting Toby-even if it was for a short amount of time. At least he took the time-Thanks Toby for making these two special young ladies smile:)

Back to school tomorrow for both girls, this will probably be Haley's last day there for I don't know maybe the rest of the year.......so make sure & say "Hi when you see her in the halls okay".

Thanks for the prayers & keep em' coming, not only for the Platelets to grow, but for a safe trip there & for the Doctors & Nurses who are treating her now & the Doctors & Nurses who will be treating her.

Lots of Hugs to all you CB families

Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

**This is a Poem that was left for Haley in our room, from the gals who decorated our room before leaving to Disney**

A Poem for Haley

I sat and read your story all day long,
How did this little girl become so strong?
Her passion for life and strength inspires me,
Her patience and cheerful smile is a key
To her happiness in her beautiful life.

Haley you have touched many lives with your journey.
You have given a little heaven to everyone and we see
You deserve every ounce of blessing you receive.
So open your heart, have fun and believe
Because your dream is coming true.

My outlook on life is brand new
and it is all thanks to you.
Live everyday with pride and brightness in your heart.
You have taught us to care and take part
As you never know what a day could bring.

So bring your family and wear your favorite pants
Shake Mickey's nad, sing and dance.
There will be plenty of fun and cheers
With how funny you'll all look in Mickey mouse ears.

Friday, January 21, 2005 9:01 AM CST

Toby Keith concert was WONDERFUL and we had a Great time:) I will get pictures & type more hopefully tomorrow. I was pretty upset-when somehow I lost 100-150 pictures on the digital from Colorado & Florida-so I'm not wanting to mess with the pictures from last night yet. But I will tell you that against all rules, I was able to let them take a picture on our camera of Haley & Toby:)!! She so deserved this, I wish they would allow you more time with these people. Haley handed Toby a CANCER SUCKS button, that we wrote on the back "To Toby Love Haley Mathis". Gotta run for now. Go Platelets Go!!!!

**Newer pictures in the photo album, remember I'm months behind, so I will try to change often-key word try:)**

Okay this has to be one of the only times that I can report on a scan & say that there was nothing that they found in Haley's lower spine(which we were hoping that there was nothing there anyway-it is just that she was having pain there & we needed to rule this out). We were feeling pretty good after hearing that the disease hadn't spread any further down her spine:) Finally her Nurosurgeon called us back from her MRI of last week on the brain and tried to break our bubble, by indicating he thinks she might have a couple new spots. (Her Oncologist didn't think that the spots that were there were new). We still have other areas within her body that do have new growth & we must fight Rhino tough to get through this.

Haley's Platelets were at 65 on Wednesday and her Doctor needs for them to be at 100!!! If & when they reach 100.....Haley is headed to St. Judes hospital in Memphis TN. What the plan is, we will go up Monday morning to the Clinic & have labs drawn-if we are at 100, than I guess we come home & pack-if they are not at 100, than we stay here a little longer and treat with Irinotecan a little longer and wait for her Platelets to climb. They have a Clinical study going on there that will give Haley that much better of a survival rate!!!!

The computer keeps kicking me off, so I will type fast.

Tonight backstage to meet Toby Keith & band members-YEAH!!! and than seats in the 6 row, so we should be able to see & hear everything:)

The prayers that I am asking for now would be the following.....

*Platelets to grow over the weekend
*That Haley's liver function continue to stay strong.
*That Haley continue to be able to eat & re-gain weight.
*Haley gets to go to school & have fun with her friends & teachers.
*To let her Doctor know that he has made the right decision in having Haley being treated at St Judes.
*Strength for our family as we face a more changing routine & daily struggles ahead.
*That every child & family that is fighting so hard right now, feel the power of prayer being sent their way.

Special Blessings to each of you who are reading this & that you be blessed with only good things in the days to come.

**FYI Haley has been able to go to school yesterday & today & is feeling sooooo good about that:)**

God Bless
Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

Wednesday, January 19, 2005 10:31 AM CST

Haley came in for her MRI of her spine this morning early, we are just waiting to see what her Dr thinks of them & find out more on the next steps in her treatment. I thought I would take this down time to retype my entry from the other night.

******Haley's Celebration of Life******

We were picked up by a Hummer Pickup(the girls LOVED) and drove the country roads that took us to school. Once we got the okay to pull up to school, we were parked right outside the front doors & were greeted by many cameras etc. As we stepped out of our ride, all you could hear was the chanting of Haley....Haley.....Haley!!!! Wow this truly gave me goose bumps-once the front door was opened, the kids had formed a tunnel line that we all ran through. This took us into the gym that was packed with so many people, I know that each of us was shocked to see the number of friends & family that were in there.

We were taken to the front row, where Haley was given a Nebraska National Guard Young Hero award and certificate, followed by a signed letter from President Bush and several different pictures etc from him & his wife. Mr Stark presented Haley with a wonderful gift-the article that ran in the Lincoln Journal was bronzed and framed & presented to her from the Middle School teachers:) Kristi T than brought out the wonderful scrapbook for Haley that she worked so hard at putting together. Haley was sang to by a wonderful group of 5 called "No Better Cause"-they are GREAT!! She did a little camera time with the local tv stations and than was off to watch & listen to the cloggers. Let me tell you these boys & girls really know how to make some noise & look good doing it-Thanks to each of them:) There was a group of 4 Norris highschoolers who sang a couple songs-did a great job guys & than the String Beans who entertained all, Complete music who played songs throughout this all. There was also a Super slide show that was running throughout the day, that had pictures of Haley & some of her favorite songs playing in the back ground.

The gifts that were given to us that day, the mothers bracelet, the picture that Haleys art teacher did of her with water colors, pillows that were hand made for her, gift cards, scrapbooks of our family trip to Colorado, the list goes on....Thank you very much.

The Chili feed & silent auction were BIG hits & they kids had lots to do out front, anything from Bingo, cotton candy, popcorn, nachos, drinks-you name it, it was there. I know that this day would have never happenend if it weren't for so very special people! I could never Thank each of you by name, because there were hundreds of you. But please know that we are blessed to be surronded by such wonderful friends.

Coming from a parent of a child with cancer, there are days that will remain in your heart & mind forever and those days are the following.....the date you were told that terrible news that your child has cancer, the dates of surgeries, the dates of terrible scans, relapse dates and for too many the date your child earns their wings. The Mathis family now has this very special date of January 16th that will remain with us FOREVER!!! I can't believe how much pain one day can erase. To those families out there that are going through this fight, if you haven't thought about a Celebration of Life-wow, I recommend you do it.

I know that my entry the other night had more to it, but right now I have these results & the direction our family must take weighing heavily on me.

Without the support of friends, family, Doctors, Nurses, tv crews and radio stations this fight would be impossible for us.

With all our love
Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

Monday, January 17, 2005 10:26 PM CST

Well after typing for about an hour...I lost everything!!!

I will type quick & try to sum it up real quick tonight & go into more detail tomorrow.

The Celebration was beyond WONDERFUL!!! So many people put so much into this event & guess what it was just what 2 parents could ask for.

Haley was feeling good & after the day, it just seemed to get better & better.

The whole day was Great, starting with the Hummer ride to school.

Since this keeps kicking me off the internet, I will type more again tomorrow about the whole event(believe me it takes time).

To all our Caringbridge families we love you all very much & hope that those wonderful children of yours make you smile & cry each day like our 2 beautiful girls do. If you ever have the oppurtunity to have a Celebration of Life for your child....DO IT!!! Way a Great way to let them know so many love them.

Watch out Toby Keith-we are coming to meet you this Friday!!!!!!!!

God Bless
Patti

Friday, January 14, 2005 6:36 PM CST

Quick update on Haley and where we think we might stand....oh wait-we don't have a clue:) The scans that they ran yesterday didn't show any blockage(yeah), but the pain is still there & Haley was very uncomfortable last night. We got her some medicaiton at bedtime to help control the pain a little more. They also sent Haley down for an MRI of her brain to make sure that nothing new had started to grow there that might be causing her to vomit-at this point we don't think that is the problem.

It sounds like Dr G will let us go home tomorrow, but Haley is not able to keep solid foods down, so she is drinking shakes & nutrional supplements at this point. Cross your fingers & pray that the Doctors will address Haley's case on Monday & know more about the direction they feel we are headed in. Wednesday morning she will come back up for a MRI of the spine, she is having pain in her lower back left side & this is the same side that her stomach/side hurts on, so we need extra prayers that they do not see some new growth on her spine!!!!!

Gotta run for now, I know I'm forgetting lots & making lots of typo's but oh well.

****Don't forget about the upcoming Celebration of Life for Haley~Sunday the 16th from 12-5....come have lots of fun & shed a few tears with us

If I could reach out & huge each one of you that is not only just reading this, but that has said an extra prayer for our daugther.....I WOULD!!!! Thank you so much for following Haley's progress, believe me she is worth every second!!!

In God's name
The Mathis family

Wednesday, January 12, 2005 10:17 PM CST

I would love to start this journal out by telling you all about the MAW trip, but I need to let you know that Miss Haleygirl has been admitted to the hospital. She hasn't been feeling all that well since our trip to Colorado for Christmas & just can't get a brake. She was feeling okay yesterday, but started complaining that her side hurt last night, she had a terrible night of sleep & just couldn't get comfortable. Today turned out to be very painful for her & just couldn't keep anything down. We headed up to the hospital this afternoon and once they checked her out on 6th floor-they agree she does have something going on in her tummy. She seems to possibly have a blockage somewhere, what food goes in-ends up coming back up....her system isn't digesting the food. She is scheduled for scans in the morning & I will do my best to update later tomorrow to let you know what we find out.

My special prayer request are the following

* For Haley to have comfort tonight and get the much needed rest she needs.

* For the scans in the morning to help guide the Doctors in the right direction in helping her with her pain.

* For strength for not only Haley but Hanna-as each day changes for her by the hour. God Bless her 4th grade teachers!!!

* For Haley to make a full recovery and be able to make her Celebration of Life party this weekend. We LOVE you sweetie-forever & for always-keep up the fight!!!

* For each family that is dealing with a childhood illness

As for the MAW trip, I know so many of you have been asking-so I will type a little bit more on that.

We had a great time with the Brestels & were glad that they could go.

We did honor sweet Josh & took the Safari ride twice:)

Haley was feeling good for Animal Kingdom, Epcot, MGM and Seaworld for the most part.

She wasn't able to eat at Emril's, kinda of mix up I guess-I thought Make A Wish set up something for us, but you are on your own for making reservations. So I took a picture of her standing inside-hope that works honey-maybe we will get a different chance(I know Haley disagrees, because she is not in the mood to fly anywhere anytime too soon). The girls were able to pet & feed the sting rays, dolphins & watch the Shamu show at Seaworld. We were also able to go to the beach-which was wonderful, Haley wasn't feeling all that well, but was glad that we did it.

Gotta run for now
Lots of Love
Patti

Monday, January 10, 2005 1:19 PM CST

We have made it back from our MAW trip....there is lots to talk about-so I will type a couple different entries. The trip to Omaha on Sunday the 3rd-was a fun filled day. We went for dinner & stayed overnight in at the Marriot in Omaha-Haley was feeling good than. They picked us up & took us to the Airport at 5:15 Monday morning. Getting on the plan was not as scary for Haley as I thought it might be, but it did of course make her sick. It was VERY Exciting to land in Florida to the sun shining & the warm air surronded us!! That night Haley wasn't feeling good at all, so we weren't sure what our trip was going to be like. Tuesday brought a little brighter girl-who was also feeling fine on Wednesday. Thursday & Friday turned out to be very crappy for Haley-we took her to the Orlando Hospital on Thursday night, she was in need of lots of fluids-who knew the sun would suck that much from you-I guess since she wasn't feeling all that well, she wasn't really eating & drinking like she should. She got to go back to our Villa in the middle of the night instead of being admitted & having to stay there till the next day.

Saturday was a little better day for Haley, followed by the flight home on Sunday(getting up at 2:15 in the morning)-which brought us back to a snowy landing(almost didn't take place landing, they couldn't see the the strip).

**We are at the hospital today getting counts & going to talk with the Doctors on what is next. Haley is still not feeling all that well, but is glad to be back home:)

I will go into more detail on the trip & the things that we did get to do, but wanted to type something real quick from the hospital.

Please say an extra prayer for our family friend Shcuyler & her family as she is in need of prayers!!

Don't forget the upcoming event on Sunday the 16th-We can't wait for this day-I know it will be lots of fun for everyone:)

I know that this doesn't give you lots to read on, but know that we will update with all kinds of stuff soon. We just want to make sure that they are not going to keep her here at the hospital & that she gets plenty of rest for this next weekend.

Thanks for all the extra prayers, support, phone messages, snow removal, Christmas lights, dog sitting, cards, gifts, money donations for the trip, the list goes on & on.......we couldn't get through this with out your help.....so please make sure to come and have fun this weekend!!!!!

God Bless each of you & lots of LOVE being sent to the CB families who we will be by to check on soon.

Love,
Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

Saturday, January 1, 2005 9:24 PM CST

Happy New Year to each of you & your families!!! Sorry it has been awhile since I last update. Haley was only in ICU over night and had a very rough morning, when we found out her count were high enough for the Doctor to release us....but I ask them to please call & ask him if we could get released?! Thanks Dr. Gnarra:) he let Haley go, so that she was able to attend the movie with her friends in Lincoln. Thanks to all her friends & their parents for bringing them:) To Mr Stark, Mr Henning, Kelly & all the other staff and teachers from school-Thanks so much. Right after the wonderful movie, we headed back up to the hospital for scans & labwork. Remember we just did scans 4 weeks, so I wasn't really sure what to think...there were a couple new spots-that they didn't see last time on her lungs, but than there was a couple spots they seen last time-that they now couldn't see...so I will just be content with what we have for now-which as of today is one little girl who is feeling soooooooo much better:)

Haley was sent home with IV fluids & is now taking Potassium pills at home. We went back to the hospital on Wednesday & Thursday. We ask if we could have her counts checked in Lincon on Friday & are glad we did, they are still having lots of trouble with her Blood clotting factor and this number had changed alot on Friday, so she is now taking a very little dose of Lovenox everyday. Her Dr agreed to have this checked one last time before we leave, so we will take her in tomorrow morning and have everything looked at one last time.

Haley hadn't been able to keep much in for the past week or so. We met with MAW on Thursday and Haley wasn't feeling very well, but since than has made a huge turn around. Starting to eat on her own & drink:)

We are very excited to now know that everyone will have a GREAT time on this trip to Disney!!! We will be heading to Omaha tomorrow and meet up with the Brestel's & meet with MAW for dinner & last minute tips on the trip. I hope that we are able to meet Wyatt, Ali, Carter, Kris etc in Minnesota while we have a couple hour stay over there.

There is no real easy way to Thank each of you for the prayers, the phone calls, the cards, the gifts, the visits, emails, journal entries and Blessing that you have sent our way. This rough road is made so much easier with Wonderful people like you!!!!

*********We want to make sure and invite each of you and your family, friends etc to what we hope is the BIGGEST-BEST Celebration one little girl could ever have!!!! We will be having a Celebration of Haley's life on...................Sunday January 16th from 12-5 at the Norris School Firth Nebraska. This event will have so much to do and see-that you won't want to miss it. We pray that Haley is able to be there and know that after this, we must get real busy with futher treatment that will probably not allow her to be around people as much. If you would like to help in anyway you may contact Kelly B. at 798-7110 or Sandy M at 791-2064-they can direct you in the right direction. Just remember this is our way of letting Haley see how many people are out there for her & that she is not in this fight alone!!! I can not say I know how she feels or what she thinks, but I believe to know that there are sooooo many people, would make her SO much stronger inside to fight this beast.**************

May this New Year of 2005-make all these little children fighting stay with us!!! To each of our CB families, we will make and get the time to stop by & visit you all once this computer gets working better. We pray daily for you, keep up the fight!!!!!

Happy Birthday to my brother-the girls Uncle Mike:)

God Bless each of you & Thanks for all your support
Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

Monday, December 27, 2004 3:38 PM CST

****Another update on Haleygirl, she has been admitted to the Intensive Unit here at Children's in Omaha. We pray that this is a short stay overnight & that we can leave in the morning to head back for the movie, than turn around and come back up here for scans. First thing First though, if she can't be released....than we have one very upset little girl, but her health comes first. Haley's potassium is alarming low and they must get this number to come back up. They have placed her in ICU so that they can monitor her heart closer. She is drinking a little more tonight. As well, they have checked her blood thinner again & the numbers have come back still high. As of today-they have discontinued her Chemo & radiation and want for her body to get a break, so she is able to go on her MAW trip!!!

We are back from our Christmas trip to Colorado. It was nice to be together as a family, but Haley was not feeling well at all, pretty much sick the whole time!!

Her Dr is not going to give her Chemo this week, her body is just to weak-she has lost over 6 pounds in the past 4 days(not good in her situation). We may be getting an xray or ct scans done today or tomorrow, will update later on those results.

Please pray that the Doctors find the right Chemo that will work to heal Haley and not make her so sick. Please pray that Haley starts to eat better and can hold fulids in.

**Tomorrow is a very speical day for Haley & all her 6th grade friends & the wonderful staff from Norris. I pray that she is feeling good in the morning and able to go to Douglas Theatres to watch the movies with everyone:) **

I will update more on the trip & how Haley is doing later tonight.......I hope that you were all able to read and see the article in the Lincoln Journal Star yesterday-Haley is WONDERFUL!!!!!

Thanks for all the support, prayers, calls, emails, visits, thoughts, concerns & gifts-they make each day a little easier on our family.

God Bless each one of you & your families
Kevin, Patti, Haley & hanna too

Thursday, December 23, 2004 11:54 AM CST

Okay here it is....the quickest update I have had to type in a long while. Haley hasn't been feeling very well at all this past week and her blood counts have been real weird with these new Chemo's and her blood thinner. We have made changes everyday so far. This of course is a big scare when we are planning on heading to the Mountains!!!!

Haley & Hanna have received several visitors, gifts, calls etc from so many friends and we want to make sure a Thank You all.

As of right now.......it sounds like we are headed home to pack up and head for the Mountains.

A couple quick things I wanted to make sure and touch base on.......A rumor has been going around and is scaring some of Haley's friends!! The rumor indicates that Haley only has 1 month to live.....I'm not sure what Doctor could guess that you only had one month to live-it seems as if he/she has a crystal ball-he better be getting in touch with everyone. But I don't have a lot of time to talk about this, but wanted to make sure and touch on this issue....we don't know how much time Haley or you have left here, but believe me we are trying everything we can to make it along time okay!!! Continue to pray & Thank the Lord for each day you are blessed with.

Gotta run....we got a trip to take!!!!!

Merry Christmas to each of you

God Bless
Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

Sunday, December 19, 2004 11:24 PM CST

Hi everyone not sure where we left off, but thought I would update a little on what's going on with Haley.

Haley was able to complete another week of Chemo and radiation this week Monday-Friday with taking Saturday off and starting back again today-Thursday to prepare for our Christmas trip to Colorado.

Saturday morning the girls woke to knowing that something special was going to happen...not sure what, but they got a special visit by Santa and Elfie:) These wonderful people delieverd some very special gifts to the girls and our family. This was so fun to see the girls get so excited about something, after battling this nasty cancer for the past 16 months they deserve something very exciting and that's just what is taking place lately. Thanks for the wonderful smiles you put on the girls faces:)

As well Saturday was a fun bracelet party making night, the girls and their friends had alot of fun making these.

Sunday we headed to the hospital in Lincoln for Chemo and Haley was interviewed by the Lincoln Journal Star. They were very touched by a story that Make A Wish had shared with them about Haley. Those of you who know Haley-may not be very surprised, but she just seems to amaze me. When Haley went to meet with her Wish grantors, her one request was that she wanted to know if Jess Brestel would be able to go with us to Disney(for those of you who don't know, Jess is Josh's sister-who is Haley's age). At the time of course this is not something that Make A Wish could grant, but guess what?????? The board was very touched by this request of Haleys and they granted her wish to go to Disney and to allow Jess to go with our family. Haley & Hanna were very excited about this...so today was the big day to let Jess in on our secret!!! We met the Brestels, Make A Wish & Lincoln Journal at Famous Daves for lunch and to Celebrate. Our trip will be January 3rd through the 9th. We are hoping that Jess's parents will be able to go along to Disney with us and enjoy seeing Jess have so much fun and be able to Celebrate and Honor their WONDERFUL son Josh. Let's pray that this trip will be very exciting and be the start of a better year for Haley's health.

To everyone who has helped make this trip to Colorado successful....THANKS!!! We are so looking forward to this wonderful white Christmas that we will get to spend together.

Something I have forgotten to type about, but have wanted to in such a bad way is this very special gift that Haley had received from some one who is very special to her......This Rhino that she takes with her everywhere we go, this gift was given to her because of some of the wonderful strengths that these 2 have-tough/thick skin, have to be strong and can with stand the strongest of time. These are just a couple of things that Mr Stark had said to Haley when giving this to her. She takes pride in this and really holds this close to her. Thanks so much for this small but thoughtful wonderful gift.

To each family out there who is under treatment, just starting treatment, finished with treatment, in remission or those who have lost their sweet baby child to a disease, we are thinking of you everyday, praying and Wishing you a Blessed Holiday season.

God Bless each of you for every contribution you have made to our family

The Mathis Family

Thursday, December 16, 2004 12:53 AM CST

Hello its me Haley~I'm going to Colorado next week the 23rd-26th. We will be staying in a cabin at Keystone. We will be going tubing, maybe skiing and snowboarding. My Mom wants us to go on a sleigh ride. I just got done with Chemo, I'm waiting for radiation. Tomorrow I might go to school in the morning and come up here in the afternoon for Chemo and radiation.

I guess that's all for now, my Mom can type an update later if she wants.

ttfn
Haley :)

Sunday, December 12, 2004 10:20 PM CST

Hey everyone...just a little update to let you know what's kinda going on here with us. Haley is feeling good herself:) I would love to say that she was cured & I hope to prove those Doctors wrong & show them that Haley is 1 in a million in more than one way!!!We have went back and forth to Omaha everyday for radiation(17 days total needed) and a Chemo(IV)-Irinotecan for 5 days a week for 4 weeks-hopefully we will end on December 31st with both of these. We will be going Monday-Friday this week, with Saturday off and than starting on Sunday 19th with Chemo in Lincoln-so that we can go Sunday-Thursday(going to Omaha Mon-Thurs) and have a 3 day weekend for the holidays. Hopefully we are able to go to Colorado on Thursday the 23rd-26th(I will update more in the next couple days on this). Haley is also taking a Chemo pill called Thalidomide every night at home(this pill is called a angiogenesis inhibitor-which means it is used to stop cancer cells from building blood vessels, causing the tumor to starve to death).

Let me update you on what little Miss Haley has been doing....Thursday night we stayed in Omaha after treatment and went to the Candlelighters Christmas party, WOW what a turn out they have up there in Omaha!!! The girls loved seeing their friends....Morgan and the whole Peters family(Jenny, Matt, Abby, Ben, Charlie, Max and Emma) were there and I got lots of pictures of them. It was good to also see Jake and Josh L's family there. Friday she went with some friends to Paint yourself silly and painted some pots. They all had a wonderful time, Sandy will pick up what Haley made next week(so we can't wait to see what she made). I do know that she wouldn't stop talking when she came home. One thing that got me of course, is that 1 of the 2 items that Haley made was for her special little buddy Josh, we will have to take to his parents when it is finished!! Haley has been doing very well since Josh earned his wings-we leave the questions up to the girls and are letting them go at their pace. She wants to go visit with them and give the Brestels all big hugs(hopefully we will go drive and look at Christmas lights with them)-Please stop by and type Josh's family a short entry, tomorrow the 13th would have been sweet Josh's 5th birthday-Happy Birthday Josh, we Love and Miss you!!!

Saturday after Haley had treatment in Lincoln, she went to watch and cheer her 6th grade basketball team on:) than went and had lunch with them and called us at home & ask if she could go cheer the Norris team on Saturday with her friends. What could a parent say???? We would love to keep her here at home with us, but she had so much fun with these girls-Thanks for inviting her.

Saturday was a Great day at our home, some of the WONDERFUL neighbors we have came over and decorated the outside of the house with lights and brought over a load of firewood-How can we thank you enough?! The girls and us LOVE the looks of the lights. Thanks:)

Sunday the girls met with Jane & Cindy from Make-A-wish, hopefully we will hear more about this coming up-sometime in January though. Haley is planning on going to Florida to Disney!

Thanks to all the wonderful people who are trying to make this Christmas extra special for our family. We could never repay you all and please know that we greatly appreciate everything you are doing, the prayers, the calls, the letters, gift certificates, the prayers, the money contributions and did I say "the prayers". I know in my heart that these and Haley's strength will make the world of difference.

Just to let you know little Miss Hanna is doing well...she is keeping up with school work and all the craziness around here. She went to her friends birthday party and played Lazer tag-she LOVED it. Hanna, we love you sweetie & thank you so much for all the help you give everyday at home and the hospital.

Sorry to be so lenghty- I know I have forgotten so much, but I guess I can update in the next couple of days.

**********People have been asking of things we could use-here is a short list of a couple items********
1. Memory card-for digital camera, we have used Olympus XD Picture Card 128 MB

2. Disposable camera and 35 mm film for camera and AA batteries.

3. Gift certificates for gas cards

4. Gift certificates to Walmart-Photo shoppe

5. Gift certificates to the following, Cracker Barrel, Panera, Outback Steakhouse, Runza, Taco Inn, Juice Stop, Grandmothers, Village Inn and Famous Daves.

God Bless you all
Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

Friday, December 10, 2004 2:30 PM CST

Wanting to let everyone know how Haley is doing. She started a new Chemo on Tuesday and started radiation to the tumor on her spine on Wednesday. Last night we got started with a Chemo that she takes at home. So now she has 2 Chemo's and radiation everyday on top of her morning medication and shot, as well every night she gets her second shot and takes meds at bedtime.

The pain has decreased a little in her back and side, we are praying that a little might have been she was nervous and the rest of the pain was from this spot on her back pressing against some nerves.

Hanna has went with us almost everyday:) Thanks sweetie, it is so good to have you with us.

Haley is doing Super with everything(as always), she is too strong and beatuiful to let this cancer take her away....so will all your prayers & this young ladies fight-she must & will win!!!!!! Against the odds we say!

Tonight she is going with some wonderful friends and making some pottery and ornaments! Have fun girls:) Tomorrow she will be getting Chemo in Lincoln and than back up her on Monday.

Lots of Thanks go out to the Norris School Teachers/friends and being surrounded by such thoughtful people! Thanks to everyone from my work "State Farm" you have been so understanding-see ya soon. Thanks to old friends of mine from high-school days, to those wonderful angels, relatives and all our CB friends/families.

God Bless you all
The Mathis Family

Wednesday, December 8, 2004 2:49 PM CST

I'm not really sure where to start or how much to say!!! We came to the hospital yesterday after Haley complaining of pains and being very uncomfortable on Monday night. The Doctors had already planned on meeting with us yesterday, so we just tied these 2 visits together. To make a long story short and keep it pretty generic......They believe the pain that Haley is having is from the tumor that has actually grown in her bone?! This is not a typical thing for Wilms to do, but none of Haley's case has been typical. On top of that information-our meeting with the Doctors was not all that positive(if you can read into that).

Kevin & I have a few things that we will need to visit with the girls on, but right now is not the time....we started Chemo yesterday and are getting her first radiation treatment today. She will be having Chemo for 5 days a week for 4 weeks and she will be getting radiation 5 days for a total of 17 treatments. We hope to be ending all this on December 31st and taking 1-2 weeks off and taking Haley & Hanna on the trip of a life time(we pray). Make A Wish will be getting back together with us and we will be setting up something.

As for my emotions, Kevin & I are completly numbed over right now, but have some wonderful friends who are searching & searching for a treatment that will be successful for Haley. If you would like more information than I am willing to list on here right now, you may call me at our home. It is hard to talk about everything, but we must be as strong as can be to keep sweet Haley in the most POSITIVE state she can be and we MUST beat this beast once and for all.

Please pray for the miracle that our family needs
Thanks
The Mathis Family

Tuesday, December 7, 2004 7:40 AM CST

Quick update this morning. Haley's nurse called last night and said that they wanted to meet with us all today(kinda scary, they have never really did this before-but I guess better in person than over the phone).

Last night was so terribly long and painful for Haley. She couldn't get comfortable, she is having terrible pain in her lower front left side & her back. I finally got her to rest this morning around 4:30 for a little bit.

I have called the Doctors this morning and Dr Thompson, said that we need to bring her up this morning, there is no need to wait. So I am packing a bag and we will be headed up there to see what's going on, what the Dr have for her next steps and to help her with this terrible pain she is feeling.

Send lots of prayers out today!!!!

God Bless
Patti

Friday, December 3, 2004 10:39 PM CST

This update comes after a very long past couple days, but I wanted to go into detail with Haley's results a little more, since the other day we really hadn't shared everything with Haley & Hanna.

I must first indicate that today was a very emotional day for us as well as so many other people who love and care for the Brestels. Today was the day that sweet Josh was put to rest. I want to say that Haley & Hanna did very well and I'm so very proud of them. When we sat down with them last night, I have to say that was one of the very toughest moments in our lives todate. The girls didn't believe what I/we were telling them and their hearts were broke. They miss Josh so much already and can't imagine what the future holds for his family. But as we have told them-we will always be here for them and plan to continue to do lots with this family in the future.

It was wonderful to meet Wyatt, Ali, Kris and Diane from Minnesota, who were able to make it to Lincoln for Josh's service. Wyatt is another member of the Wilms family and has been a Great support for us.

Now as for Haley's results...Relapse again....they came up with the news that she now has new spots on both of her lungs and lymph nodes that are larger. They also indicated that the area where they removed her Right Kidney(tumor bed) has a small soft spot/that they can't rule out is not a tumor at this point. So now we must be looking for the next treatment cycle, which we are not sure what it will be like or how Haleys body will react. We are not really sure what her Liver looked like, so I will make sure and ask them. As for her brain-it looks like those spots have possibly gotten smaller:) and we weren't sure on the spine, but her Doctor called last night and indicated that it looks like it(the spot/tumor) is actually in her bone(not good news) and that the actual bone structure has changed since the last scans 4 almost 5 weeks ago. I believe but will confirm they will want to get a biopsy next week of this to see what we are dealing with.

We have shared ALL this information with both girls and told them that we were not pleased with the news, but that we have Faith and will continue to fight this beast one day at a time.

We have had lots of emails, journal entries and calls over the past couple days and I can't tell you how much this means. Sometimes when you are faced with something like this and it just keeps going and going, you tend to think that you are all alone(I know some of you know this feeling, because you have been there). Please as you say your daily prayers, add a general note to cover all Children who are sick.

I will update again on Monday or Tuesday once we hear more from the Doctors.

Thanks & God Bless
Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

Thursday, December 2, 2004 6:57 AM CST

I wish that I was able to start this journal entry so different than some in the past....but I must say that Childhood Cancer Sucks and I'm so tired of terrible scans.

First of all it comes with the heaviest hearts a family could feel, but yesterday morning December 1st we lost our friend/family member Josh Brestel to this terrible thing called CANCER!! I can't tell you the emotions that this family must feel, I know that they are at peace-since Josh will no longer have to fight and be in such pain. "This is news that we did not share with Haley & Hanna last night and will pull our family together tonight". Josh-may you no longer have the pain of this disease and may you be joined to play in Heaven with so many other Angels who have lost their battle and earned their wings. We LOVE you!!!

Haley's scans were not all that good yesterday....we started our day at 8:00 heading to the hospital and ended up leaving at 5:30 to come home. They have found some new spots that weren't there before and some that we there are now larger. I will type more later today-I tried to let the girls sleep in, I need to go get them up-so they can go to school and I will head to work.

I will update this page tonight after we have visited with our girls and shared this news with them. They know that the scans didn't come back they way we needed them to and that Haley will start some new treatment soon. But we don't want to overload these 2 smarts young ladies with so much information at one time. We need for Haley to remain strong and I'm afraid if we tell her about Josh and her news she will just break down.

Last night the girls were able to run to Church and make a craft-which was a good little break after such a long day. They will both be going back to school today, this will be a huge way to distract them.

Anisa-Thank you for being there yesterday, I couldn't imagine our family not being blessed with you as our Nurse & Friend!! Dr Thompson-Thank you for taking the time to listen to us and explain what you could as of yesterday.

Thank you for all the prayers for yesterdays scans(I could feel the presence of so many who cared), we just ask that you continue to send your messages to the man upstairs, because we are not done with this battle and have a tough road ahead of us.

May God be with you as you face each day and protect the ones you love.

Please stop by and offer some words to the Brestels as they prepare to send their sweet angel Josh to Heaven to take his safari trip-he has so being waiting to take!!! www.caringbridge.org/ne/josh

God Bless
The Mathis Family

Tuesday, November 30, 2004 11:23 PM CST

Just a quick note from a very scared mother....tomorrow is a HUGE day for our family as many of you are aware!! The four of us are headed to Omaha in the morning, we need to be to the Clinic at 9:15-so that Haley can get her IV and drink her contrast for her first set of scans at Childrens. These scans are to let us know what her abodomen looks like-the Liver, lungs, the area where her Kidney was removed, her vena cava and lymph nodes. We will have a little break in between, I would love to take the girls over to Red Lobster-so Haley could finally try that Lobster she has talked about for a year, but I don't think any of us will be in the mood for that:) We will go back up to see her Oncologist for these results & have him look at Haley. Once done here we will head over to her Nuerosurgeons office to have MRI's of the brain & spine again at 2:00 finishing hopefully around 3:30. Doctor Puccioni gets out of surgery at 3:30, so hopefully we can get him to view these MRI's and visit with him. Gosh I sure hope that we have some positive results from this.

I will try to update the computer tomorrow night, with whatever news we hear, but be patient with me....we will either be Celebrating a little bit or crying alot-I'm praying for the first of those two.

Quick note to my sweet girls, Haley may you get the best results tomorrow on the 1st day of December 2004 and may we be blessed with saying "No more Chemo in 2004". Be tough & remember what Tug McGraws book is called.....Ya gotta Believe!!! Hanna-Thanks so much going with us for Haley's scans, it is so important for you to be there with us. Dad & I Love you both very much!!!

Thanks to the Napsters & Mrs. Baehr for the wonderful gift certificates that you gave Haley, she used some of them tonight & treated us to a movie and we went to have dinner together, something to distract us for the night.

****************************Please don't forget to say a prayer for Haley, but as I have ask in the past-our special family/friend Josh and his family is in need of urgent prayers!!!! It only takes a minute to stop by and type them a quick note, but that note will be with them forever-his site again is www.caringbridge.org/ne/josh

Addie is going through 5 day a week Chemo and will be in Omaha for 8 weeks, please stop by and just say "hello to her" www.caringbridge.org/ne/addiemarie

Caringbridge families out there who have just received Clear scans-Yeah we are so very Happy for you all, keep up the good work...to those of you who are getting scans soon-we are praying for good results for you too...to those of you who are getting ready to go on your MAW trip-have loads of fun, we can't wait to see your pictures and of course there are those of you who are still in treatment, never give up and never give in....with lots of prayers and more prayers~we will win!!!

Let the tears and fears of this Mother-send the Lord a strong message tonight that we are ready to move to our next chapter......Haley enjoys life too much and has had sooooo much fun going to school a couple days this week.

God Bless you all
Patti

Saturday, November 27, 2004 10:30 PM CST

I have so many things to type about, but one must come before any other.

****For those of you who haven't and for those of you who have(thanks)...Please stop by and offer some words of encouragement for our family friends-Josh & his family are VERY special to us and they are in need of lots of prayers and for us to ask the lord for a miracle in his treatment. Josh's website is www.caringbridge.org/ne/josh. ****

As for our family, we have had lots going on over the past week. Wednesday-Haley had counts and she was just high enough to not have a transfusion, but low enough we knew we were staying home for the holidays. Hanna & Mom went to see the movie "Polar Express" with Hanna's 4th grade class-what a wonderful movie. I forgot on Monday, Hanna had a delivery to school~A big decorated cookie to share with her class & teachers & lots of balloons(Thanks for taking it to school Grandpa).

We received a call from a special friend Kathy who knows of someone who is wanting to contribute to a family in need-they are in the middle of working on something special for our family. We will find out more about what they have in store to help our family with. Thank you to these grateful people.

Thursday we spent Thanksgiving at home & you know what....it wasn't too bad(not having to run all over & eating so much that we got sick). We were just so Thankful to be together at home & not be split up with 2 of us in the hospital & 2 at home. Haley has finally been at home for the past few holidays-yeah!!!

Friday of course brought on the BIG #10 for Hanna:) We had some wonderful friends of ours(John & Jolee) who had two extra tickets to the Nebraska vs. Colorado football game. Hanna & Kevin went down there to take this in-they had lots of fun-wasn't to impressed with the way Nebraska played, but oh well. We saved the Thanksgiving pizza for Hanna's birthday:)

Friday was also the day for Haley to go back and get counts....She was able to stop her Neupagen shot:) but was in need of Platelets. Well, after waiting all day...the blood bank didn't have any Platelets, so the time just kept getting changed, finally it was going to be after 7:00 at night and she would have had to gone up to the Pediatric dept in Lincoln(which we are not familiar with). So we ended up taking her back today(Saturday) for her Platelets. Everything went well & she actually ate more this afternoon after her Platelets than she has in awhile-lets hope it stays with her & that she starts eating more tomorrow.

We all went and picked out a Live tree for the holiday-it looks Wonderful(this is the first year we have ever did this-we will have to find a place in the yard that we can plant it as soon as Christmas is over). We really liked the idea about having the tree inside & than getting to plant it:)

Monday-Haley should be able to go to school in the morning and than we will pick her up early to go for counts. Hopefully we are headed up in #'s:)

I want to end on the note that we are very Thankful for such wonderful people who are there for us-we have received two cash donations to our Medical fund in Panama(Thanks you so much). Thanks for all the Birthday Wishes for Hanna-it sure made her smile.

Lynda, Thanks for the wonderful box that you sent Hanna-she loves dogs:)
and your gift couldn't have been better!!!

I will get new pictures out here once I get our computer figured out-still having big issues with it. This laptop is working right now.

Last but not least-Thank you for the prayers for not only our family-for our CB friends who are still going through treatment right now & who are going back for follow up scans. There are way too many kids for me to list, but right now we need prayers for Josh and Addie(www.caringbridge.org/ne/addiemarie).

Please....Please-don't forget to pray hard for Haley's scans on Wednesday December 1st-this is a HUGE day for us & we are in need of good results.

God Bless
The Mathis Family

Monday, November 22, 2004 2:07 PM CST

Hello everyone~Haley is feeling a little better, she is eating something at least(not much yet,but we will get there). She is still getting sick everyday, but not as much as last week. We think that her getting the flu shot on Thursday(her last day of treatment) might have been what has changed here appetite this time-at least that's what we hope it is. On Friday, she went and got 2 units of Red Blood Cells. The weekend was okay, we kept her at home and took her outside when we knew that nobody else was around-it was pretty nice weather for November.

Some very special friends of Haley's came through with a delivery yesterday-that made her smile:) She loved the bracelet & the meaning behind it!! As well as the other gift(we can put this to use). I thought I would share a little bit on this story....several girl friends got together for 3 birthday girls:) and in place of anyone bringing a gift for those girls, they brought a money donation for Haley!! This just goes to show how very special these girls are and how very generous they and their mothers are(Big Thank You without indicating names-you ladies and girls are wonderful).

Last Thursday my work"Life Company" had a Chili feed(I was gone), they took up a collection & was SO kind to give that collection to my family to help with Haley's medical etc(the gas is a big expense & any extra money can always go towards that). It is amazing that we are almost all done working together. Thank You all soooooooooo very much!!

Today Monday the 22nd-Haley went for counts and her Platelets were at 6!!! So she got a transfusion with these & will go back on Wednesday. Kevin & Haley were able to see Steve, Diane & Josh while they were there(Josh was sleeping though). We pray for you all daily. If you could stop by Josh's website and offer some words of encouragement for his family right now, Josh is still battling this beast & believe me-if you haven't been in this position before(and we don't want you to be)-it is something that NO words can explain-well they can, but it would take way to many. Josh's site is www.caringbridge.org/ne/josh

********************************************************************************

Special request this time.....for a special soon to be 10 year old little sweetie named Hanna. Hanna is Haley's younger sister who will be turning 10 on Friday the 26th. If you have a minute & are signing the questbook-Could you/would you....Please send a Birthday wish to Hanna:) She has been such a huge support not only for Haley, but for Kevin & I as well. Happy 10th Birthday Hanna!!!!!

Don't forget to check out the calendars on the link below, Hanna was a featured artist for this. If you order a calendar for $20.01, you can refer a coupon to a friend who can save $5.00 off their purchase of a purchase of $20.00 or more, that is the purpose for the $20.01(makes sense huh?) and $5.00 of every purchase will go towards buying an ill/sick child something. So place your Christmas order now & share with family.

Once Again, Thanks for all the support we have been given-no matter what the size or what it is......it shows you care!! Happy Thanksgiving to each of you & your families.

A special Thanks to those wonderful ChemoAngels-we are so very blessed to have you in our lives.

Will update again on Wednesday
Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

Wednesday, November 17, 2004 2:08 PM CST

Hey quick update on Haley....she has not really been herself much since the 2nd day of Chemo started, I know I talked a little about that last entry. Pretty much nothing sounds good to eat or if it does, not much is staying in her at this point & this is kinda unusual for her. She has had this same treatment since last October's scans and hasn't acted like this before, so it kind of scares me a little. I know she must be worried about the scans that we had & the scans coming up, but she has been very tired & unmotivated.

Her counts today took a huge drop(kinda thought they would), so she will be getting Platelets this afternoon, she is also getting some IV fluids while she is waiting. Anisa had them draw some additional blood, I think just to check a little closer & make sure nothing is wrong. Thanks Again Anisa:)

We will update once we know more on how she is doing, otherwise she will go back for more labwork on Friday.

**Say an extra prayer for Haley's friend Addie, who started her treatment today in Omaha. We are thinking and praying for you & your Doctors Addie:) As well, Josh-who is still having some pain & going through a tough treatment, we ask that the Chemo is working & that the Doctors now know what they will do next.**

Wise and Smart

It's very smart and very wise
To look at things with heaven's eyes,
To do the things God wants you to,
To be a friend who's good and true,
To show God's kindness day by day,
To teach His love by what you say.
It's very wise and very smart
To share God's grace with all your heart.

From Hugs for Kids

Lots of Love
Patti

Sunday, November 14, 2004 9:54 PM CST

Sorry for not updating sooner. Haley started her 3 day Chemo treatment on Tuesday, she did real well with the Chemo, but complained of back pain the whole time. She really didn't seem like herself on Wednesday, but didn't & wouldn't take anything for the pain. Thursday was Kevin's birthday, he came & picked us up. We came home and had a quiet family night together. Thursday before we left the hospital-Anisa gave Haley her flu shot, Haley is so funny, she gets 2-3 shots a day & she got herself so worked up over the flu shot.

After coming home, we noticed that Haley hasn't really been herself, I don't know if the news from her most recent scans are on her mind as well. As of today, she was feeling/acting a little more like herself.

We will head for counts tomorrow to see where her counts are at, it is hard for me to even guess. I'm sure we will start dropping real fast & need some transplants before long.

**We are scheduled for what I would LOVE to say will be our BEST scans ever, but I know that they won't be the best, we still have a road to climb & know that everything won't just go away overnight. We will be going back for scans of everything on December 1st. **

I want to Thank you all for your wonderful support, calls & concerns not only with the recent news of Haley's latest scans but for your wonderful friendship's through the past 16 months. Lots of thoughts and prayers go out to ALL of our Caringbridge families out there, we will try to make our ways around to visit soon, not a day goes by when we don't pray for you all.

**Last but not least, we want to take a moment to send a HUGE Thank You out to all of Haley's Dr.s, nurses, Child Life Specialist, radiation clinic and all other staff at Children's hospital. As well a Special Thank You goes out to the wonderful Norris School Teachers and staff, you have been so Great to our family.

Lots of Hugs & Prayers
Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

Tuesday, November 9, 2004 11:49 AM CST

Okay here we are at Children's today & cross our fingers that Haley's counts & urine come back good, so that she is able to start her Chemo today. If so she will be here for 3 days and will be able to go home on her Dad's birthday. Happy Birthday in advance Kevin!!!

A little update on Haley and what we have found out and what will take place over the next 6 weeks. They are going to treat her with her what was to be "last Chemo treatment", than we will do scan the first week of December. These scans will be of everything, so now they can look at the spot on her brain-which after looking at it, if it is the same size or has grown, they will proceed with the Gamma Knife procedure. The spot on her spine, they will look at on her scans & if it hasn't decreased in size they will sent her in for a biopsy to determine if it is the same kind of cancer "Wilms" or if it is something else. They wouldn't want to assume that it is & not give her the right drugs or to put her through a surgery to remove if it is not needed at this point. As for the areas that this all started in....they will check the area where they removed the Kidney, look at the lung spots, vena cava, & that darn Liver-this is the area that is the Biggest concern if there is one I guess. When Dr Saxton did Haley's surgery in March, he did a biopsy & the Liver still have live cancer cells & was not really responding to Chemo all that great. We pray that between the radiation & Chemo they have made a difference in this area. Kevin & I haven't researched alot on transplant yet, it is true that you can remove all but 10% of the Liver & it will regrow. Well in Haley's situation there was no 10% that wasn't infected by cancer(if you can imagine) that her surgeon could work with. So we are confident in knowing that it will look Great come December.

After last journal entry, things are going okay with us, still alot of emotions to carry. But we must get our strength from these precious little lady "Haley", she smiles when most couldn't look, she laughs when most want to cry, & most of all she LOVES when other would turn away. Haley & Hanna have given us the reason to keep moving forward & not slowing down or stopping for something like "Cancer", there is much more out there.

Lots of Love for now

Patti

Friday, November 5, 2004 9:01 PM CST

Can I say "SCANS SUCK-CANCER SUCKS"!!!! I/we keep waiting for clear scans & for some reason we DON'T get them. Today was another long day for the Mathis family. We needed to be in Omaha at 8:45 so that Haley could go through about 2 1/2 hours of MRI's. She did Super with them, she holds still & does exactly what they need her to do. Dr. Puccioni was in surgery, so we ask if we could get a copy to let Dr. G look at them. We ran over while those were printing off & got Haley's lab work done at Children's, ran back over picked up those films. As a mother who has learned alot over the past 15 months, I wanted to look at those scans before we took them to Gnarra. As I sat there looking at those scans, I could see a spot on the brain picture and as I looked at the scans of her spine- I could see a spot there that bugged me. Of course, I would love to say that I was just being scared.

I can't tell you once again what the emotions are in this house. We share everything with Haley & Hanna and it is so hard for me to not let them see that I'm scared. We told them unfortunately we don't know alot at this point and will find out more come Monday. They will have a meeting Monday morning & discuss what will be next. As I indicated we are due for Chemo and will hopefully start it as soon as we know something on Monday. The scans that were ran today were a follow up for the brain & the spine per our request. Haley's case has not been normal & I really wanted a spine scan to rule out that this crap had spread there. Well what we believe at this point is that the spot in her Brain may be able to be Gamma Knife-this is what we will find out Monday. The spot on her spine, looks like it is on/in her bone. Not sure what to think of this, as I said we are not the Doctors & can only read into what we know.

Anisa, Thanks for being there for us once again today as you have been since August of 2003. We could not get through all of this without you at our side. We LOVE you sooooo much for this.

I have made it through most of this journal entry without crying, but let me tell you-the tears are flowing right now. I am scared Mother who thinks right now that life SUCKS and I feel like we are getting backed into a corner & we are having to fight harder & harder everyday. When being a parent of a sick child, not only is there the stress of your childs life & health, you have the financial stress, the other child to think about, emotions within your household, insurance, gas, vehicle, heat etc. you know where I'm headed. As of January-I have to start my new job at work, with for the most part all new people that I don't really know, a whole new learning/training stress-I know it will work out okay, but just an extra stress that I could go without. It just doesn't seem fair & it is playing its toll on me. I'm not looking for anyone to feel sorry for me/us, I just have to type a few things & get them off my chest. I can't stress that if I were not in these shoes, I would never ever know what a person/family was to have to go through.

To everyone out there who has showed us some form of support over the past 15-16 months....Thank You so much for everything.

Haley & Hanna-Mom & Dad love you both more than anything in this world. We need for the both of you to be SO strong & know that we are in this together. Always together~never apart.

**In addition to the prayer request that are needed for Haley, we have many other CB families that need us & our extra prayers. Josh & his family-we have become very close to the Brestels, Josh is in need of extra prayers to shrink his tumors & allow the Chemo drugs to do there work to cure him from this nasty thing called "Cancer". Josh has been battling right along the side of Haley & I know that his family is feeling some of the same pressure that we are. Believe me when I say there is too many children being affected right now & we could not list them all.

Lots of Thanks to all
Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

Tuesday, November 2, 2004 12:28 AM CST

****Scans of the brain, spine & cervical area are being done on Friday November 5th, than based on her counts & scans we will start the next round of Chemo on Monday**

Friday November 5th Debi Cruise(Haley & Hanna's fourth grade teacher) is going to be on 96KX a local radio station with Carol Turner inregards to the Magic Moments from Union Bank that Haley was choosing for last year. They are the reason that we have a computer at home and a digital camera, not to mention some other wonderful gifts they gave our family. Haley & I are not able to be there since we need to be in Omaha at 8:45. But want to let Debi know how much we appreciate her doing this.

If you don't have time to read the long entry, everyone is doing okay.

**Hey everyone, we are still without email or a computer at home.**

What's been happening over the past week. Haley & Hanna were able to attend "Boo at the Zoo" in Lincoln on Saturday, they loved dressing up & they were able to see Jackson "Spiderman" Savage with his parents Frank & Kara(Hanna's first grade teacher). Jackson-you were the cutest, we can't believe how big you are getting. The girls really had a good time & got lots of compliments on their costumes. Haley was the cutest looking clown with the BIGGEST shoes in the world & Hanna made the BEST looking Hula girl-grass skirt, coconut bikini top & the hat was Super. Once we get the computer to work I will of course load new pictures.

We all had fun carving pumpkins, Daisy & Owen sat right there with us & carried off the little pumpkins & tried/did eat the seeds:) As some of us were carving, someone was inside pulling another tooth:) Haley lost her 5th tooth in the past 2 months, her mouth looks so funny!!!

** Now onto Haley's & Hanna's health....Hanna was I guess you can say was not Lucky when she came down with Pink eye that is going through the school. We kept her out yesterday & took her in to get some eye drops. She is on her way to complete recovery:)

As for Haley, she was able to go to school.....I had the cell phone turned off-rule #1 for a parent with cancer.....If both parents are together & you have a phone........TURN IT ON!!!! The nurse had called & had to leave a message, that Haley was having alot of pain in her heart/chest area, a feeling like something was stuck. When we got to school & picked Haley up, we were ready to head to Omaha, she had indicated earlier in the morning that her back hurt & now her chest...PANIC!! Anisa was ready for us...but Haley got sick right before we got there and knew the reason she hurt. She once again had her morning medication stuck about half way down. So being the grown up girl she is, she told us she didn't need scans or to be looked at, she would be okay. Haley as your parents-we trust you & will honor your wishes, you have learned so much and act so grown up. Thanks for being honest with us. She is still having a little back pain & pain in her chest when she takes a deep breathe, we will have them look at this on Friday!

We are back to work & school today & cross my fingers everyone is doing Good! Thanks to everyone at the school for contacting us & looking out for Haley. We couldn't get through this without you all!!

Caringbridge families-We hope that all the kids were able to enjoy Halloween in some way. Continued prayers are being sent to each of you.

*************************Please see the link below & check out the Wonderful Cancer Kids Calendar....Hanna was able to draw the picture for the month of May!!! You can purchase these for $20.01, with a $5.00 coupon to refer to a friend who can save $5.00 off the purchase price of anything over $20.00-that's the reason for the $20.01 price!!!! Than $5.00 of each purchase goes towards buying a gift for an ill child. These would make a Super gift & wonderful to collect.******************Thanks Helen
Lots of Love
Patti

Tuesday, October 26, 2004 12:11 AM CDT

***Note to Helen-everything on the calendar looks wonderful, could you make sure that the last name says Mathis instead of Mat. Thank you so much for doing this, I will be adding this to our webpage so that people can buy this calendar. If you are reading this please visit the site that Helen put in Haley's guestbook.***

**Our email at home is not working, we have no computer access, so if you have sent an email-hopefully we will get it back soon.**

Hey everyone~here's a little update on Miss Haley!!! She had a nice weekend, got to play with Hanna and some of the neighbor kids. The weather was absolutely Wonderful(a little windy). She did get caught up on a bunch of school work(feeling a little more together now, I think). Haley has always been a kid lover, she has so much fun playing with kids that are little and Hanna has always been our dog lover. Well, Haley is taking pretty good to our new family member Daisy. The two of them find a nice spot by the woodstove and lounge together. I guess Owen is now Hanna dog:)

Hanna went for her sleepover birthday party, we picked her up on Saturday. The 3 of us went and picked Haley out a new pair of glasses(once we get them, we will take a picture). Than we headed off to get costumes, I have to say the girls are going to look SUPER CUTE:) I won't let you know what they are going to be yet, but will put pictures out there as soon as I can & once the computer is working again. Saturday evening~Haley went with her Church group to Laser Quest. She had a blast.....once she got home, she talked & talked. I'm glad her counts allowed her to go.

Monday was counts and her hemoglobin was at 8.7, so she got 2 units of RBC. Platlets are at 47, her WBC dropped to 1.9(kinda worried as to why it would drop).

**Wanted to make sure to send a Thank you to the teachers & staff at Norris for being concerned with Haley & her performance & their willingness to work with her through this.**

We ask that you continue to pray for Haley and all of our Caringbridge friends that are going through not only the rough stages right now, but the follow up scans and the late effects that come with this beast.

Thanks Again
Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

Thursday, October 21, 2004 11:57 AM CDT

**Just to clarify a rumor.....Haley is not yet cancer free-but we do hope to be to that point sometime soon-thanks for the Great thoughts, but we are not there yet. Continue to pray that this is what we hear come December!!!!**

Haley is doing well & went for counts today. She is not yet low enough for a transfusion, so Kevin took her to school. She has been feeling pretty well, complaining a little of a back ache...so I guess it is good that we are going for MRI's of her brain & spine on November 5th with Dr. Puccioni. We will be very nervous to see if the other 2 spots that we out there on the brain, have went away yet. If the radiation didn't take care of the spots, they will want to look into the Gamma Knife procedure.

Haley & Hanna both had school pictures taken this week(hope they turn out). Haley in her cap & Hanna with her curls:) To break away from Haley for a minute, her sister Hanna who will be 10 in a month, has been doing very well with school and homework habits this year...Just want to let Hanna know how very proud of her we all are!!! As for Haley, knowing that she will at least have 1 more Chemo treatment, I will try to talk with the school & get some tutoring scheduled. This past treatment, really through her behind & she feels frustrated every night.

This weekend Hanna will be going over to spend the night with the TeKolste's for Kinslies birthday!! Happy 10th Birthday Kinslie!!! Haley will hopefully be going with her Church group for some Laser tag fun.

I will update either over the weekend or next week, we are just at that in between stage-nothing happen-nothing new!!

We want to put a HUGE Thank you to all of Haley's Chemo Angels out here. Let me tell you~ not a week goes by when Haley & Hanna aren't receiving something wonderful from these ladies. They/we love to read the letters, see the pictures & the girls of course opening them packages. What a wonderful program this is for a person to help someone else that is in need of some cheering up! I'm not sure of the website right now, but I bet if you type Chemo Angels in-you would come up with it. I'm not sure if they are looking for help, but just knowing how many children are being affected by some form of illness.....I'm sure they could use help.

To ALL of our CB friends & family-we pray daily for you & hope that all of you are doing well. Thanks for always checking in on Haley & her progress.

Haley's friend Addie, now has her own website-stop by a visit her at www.caringbridge.org/ne/addiemarie

God Bless all
Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

Thursday, October 14, 2004 12:29 AM CDT

Hey everyone, here is an update on Haley & what's going on in her life. She is for the most part feeling good, counts are climbing high enough she can stop taking 1 of her shots each day to increase her WBC:)

We have made the decision even though Haley's counts are climbing to keep her out of school through this week yet, there is some stuff going around & we would just hate to run into something. She will be getting her Flu shot once her counts get high enough, but until than-we do as we always have clean, wash, clean, wash....oh it just goes on & on like that. As for what does the future hold, we will be doing a scan on November 5th for Haley's brain & spine area. Once counts get high enough another round of Chemo, than scans of everything else the first week of December & this will allow the Drs what they need to look at the next steps. I would LOVE to say that we will be Celebrating the New Year 2005, with nothing but positive scans & results.

**Extra prayers are still needed for little Ellieanna-she has had a very rough week-her, her parents (Scott & Chloe), the Doctors need to hear the strenght that this little girl has behind her. Keep fighting Ellie!! www3.caringbridge.org/mt/ellieanna**

IF I KNEW

If I knew it would be the last time
That I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time
that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
and call you back for one more.

If I knew it would be the last time
I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word,
so I could play them back day after day.

If I knew it would be the last time,
I could spare an extra minute
to stop and say "I love you,"
instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.

If I knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day,
Well I'm sure you'll have so many more,
so I can let just this one slip away.

For surely there's always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance
to make everything just right.

There will always be another day
to say "I love you,"
And certainly there's another chance
to say our "Anything I can do?"

But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you
and I hope we never forget.

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance
you get to hold your loved one tight.

So if you're waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you'll surely regret the day,

That you didn't take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
and you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out to be their one last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today,
and whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them
and that you'll always hold them dear

Take time to say "I'm sorry,"
"Please forgive me," "Thank you," or "It's okay."
And if tomorrow never comes,
you'll have no regrets about today.

Thanks for continuing to check in on us, I know it seems as if things are going real well right now, but please know that once you live the life we are with a child who has an illness....you are never/ever out of the dark & as we have found out before, things can change overnight.

Lots of Love to all
Patti

Friday, October 8, 2004 5:21 AM CDT

** Update of Mondays counts, Haley's Platlets were down to 11 today, so she is getting a transfusion of Platlets today with Dad.

The girls had lots of FUN going to the Children's Museum on Friday, it was good to see so many families get to come.What a GREAT thing for "In the arms of friends" to do-Thanks much to them for making this happen.**

Happy Friday everyone! An update on Haley and where she is at. She has went for counts on Monday, Tuesday & Thursday this week. She needed to get Platlets on Tuesday and 2 units of RBC on Thursday and now is back today for another round of Platlets. This should keep her body strong enough to get to Monday for counts again.

Haley is feeling fine right now & is trying to do her schoolwork while she is home, so that when she is able to go back she will feel like she didn't miss much:) Thanks to all her teachers for sending enough but not too much home for her!!!

Tonight we are hoping to be able to attend a special night for Children like Haley & their families at the Children's Museum. This is being put on by a Wonderful group from Omaha that was started by 2 very special ladies who have 2 Great boys who have been through a similiar battle as Haley. They are doing such much for families who have just been diagnosed & are doing things for those families that are in the middle of the battle & those who at this point have Won and are on a follow up program(I don't think I will ever be able to say finished). Please take the time to visit their website and help in anyway that you can www.inthearmsoffriends.org

As always Haley can continue to use the Prayers, but at this point we have some friends that are in need of urgent prayers from all of you. I will not go in to great detail on these children, but please know that they and their families need lots of prayers, I will include the website for those that have one.

Josh & has family continue to need support, stop by and of words to them at www.caringbridge.org/ne/josh

Liz & her family as they are at the hospital this week. We pray for a quick recovery for Liz and pray that the Drs prepare them for the next round of treatment and that it is successful. Stay strong Liz-we think of you often:)

Addie & her family as the continue to recover. As Addie underwent another surgery this week. Addie, we have heard that you just celebrated your 11th birthday!!!!! Happy Birthday to you:)

**This request is for a little girl who we have never met, but her story just keeps getting deeper and deeper and her family is in need of prayers as I type........ Please visit her site and leave her parents & her some encouraging words & let them know that you are praying for them. www3.caringbridge.org/mt/ellieanna

As we could never list all the families that we have met through CB, but they all need to be prayed for, even if not by name, just know that there are too many that are out there & need your help.

Thanks for all the continued support & prayers for our family

Lots of Love
Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna too

Sunday, October 3, 2004 8:40 PM CDT

**Update on Haley's counts...she really dropped over the weekend, but wasn't low enough for transfusions on Monday. So today Kevin took her back and her Platlets were at 21 so she got Platlets today & will go back for probably 2 units of RBC on Thursday.**

Sorry for the slow update with Haley......she had her treatment Monday-Wednesday. The last 2 days of radiation Haley & I started to notice her ears leaking a little, so I ask on her last day of radiation if this was normal & the Dr. wasn't there that day to answer that question. So we addressed the question with the Dr. in Oncology who checked Haley in for her 3 day Chemo, she indicated that the eardrum its self looked okay, but that she would call over to Dr. Wheeler(who was in charge of Haley's radiation). (Still to this day, don't know if she called). But come Tuesday, Anisa who was our in patient nurse this week making rounds with the Oncologist Dr. called over to Methodist and talked with one of the nurses over there who was going to talk to the Dr & get back with us. Hoping that this would happen within the 3 days that we were here would have been great!!! Both ears were itching her real bad & the left one was peeling & looked very sore. Day 3 still hadn't heard anything, so I called over myself & they wanted us to come over as soon as we were done at Children's, I told them we needed to be real quick, since we had to get Hanna off the bus. We got over there & of course, they couldn't see us, so we left & have been treating this on our own. They are looking much better, I have been putting a cream on them everyday, but now I noticed her whole head is peeling like she got a bad sunburn. Methodist did call us & said that it sounded like she had an ear infection & that we should probably take her to our family Dr. Could try, but that's not the problem(Haley hasn't had a single ear infection in her whole life).

Besides for that, really everything has been okay. Haley got to see all her friendly nurses on 6th floor & in fact the day we got there we didn't have a bed in our room or anything(it looked like a big dance floor). We teased them and said that we should get the room for 1/2 price:) Don't worry Nikki & Kim, we won't hold it against ya!! Haley did real well with Chemo, we didn't get done the first night until 1:00 with the Chemo itself & finished with treatments(Mesna) after to help flush the Chemo out of her body, so that it doesn't do any extra damage. She only got sick 1 time and was actually able to walk down with me to the lobby(this is always fun).

We were very sadden for a couple reasons, Haley's original suregeon Dr. Mark Saxton has left Children's hospital. He was so wonderful to us & give his all for these kids-not only will we miss him, the entire hospital will feel the void. Haley & Hanna had lots of fun with him-April fools & just his personality from the first day we met him. Good Luck Dr. Saxton & we wish you and your family including your mother the best of health. Haley will now be lucky enough to fall into the hands of a very Great man/surgeon Dr. Raynor, he stopped by and visited with us last week(I work with his cousin-squishy eyed Joe). Dr Lazrotiz underwent some surgery last week & Haley & I were sadden that we weren't able to visit with him, he always stops up to see us when we are there. We wish him a very quick recovery.

Thursday & Friday~Haley was able to go back to school for both of these days:) She had lots of fun & was so glad to be there....Thanks Again to all her classmates & teachers at Norris, they sure make her feel comfortable in coming to school-What a Wonderful school!!!

I took off all week, after coming home from treatment and being up all day and pretty much all night, I was tired & stressed. I feel like I got something done, for the first time in along while. Thanks to all my co-workers for picking up while I'm out of the office:) You guys have been huge to me & my family!!!!!

Haley will go for counts tomorrow & see if she is able to go to school or not. I really couldn't even guess where they may be.

To all of our Wilm's family/friends, we are so sorry we haven't been able to check in on all of you lately, but please know that we think & pray always.....

**A couple special prayer request, Big Prayers to Addie & her family. We are sorry we missed seeing you at the hospital the other day(we were told you were coming up on Wednesday instead of Thursday). Thinking of you lots.

2nd request goes to our Sweet Buddy Josh & his family.....Please pray that they find out what is causing Josh to have so many problems with this latest round of Chemo & that he is able to re-bound in a quick time frame. Josh, we know how very hard this is for you-but just know that you have loads of people praying for your quick recovery & your victory with this awful battle of CANCER!!!! Pray for Josh's family, that they find the strength through all of this & know that they are thought of daily. We love you all, just phone or email if you need us!!!

We send Big Hugs & Prayers out to Liz & Morgan. We are sorry we haven't been in touch lately ladies & will get in touch with both of you soon. Liz we heard that you were headed back up to the hospital, extra prayers are being said for you sweetie:) **

Big Thanks to Chemo Angels Lynda & both Carrie's. Thanks for sending treats. Lynda-Thanks for the wonderul packages, letters & pictures. I tell ya we can't wait to come visit California someday.

Lots of Hugs
Kevin, Patt, Haley & Hanna

Monday, September 27, 2004 1:47 PM CDT

Hey everyone, Haley is being admitted for her next round(3 days) of Chemo. Her counts are doing real well at this point & she is excited to get this next cycle started. She is hoping that she is able to go back to school on Thursday & Friday-knowing that her counts will drop by this weekend. We will see how she feels:)

Hanna is going to school & will take care of everything at home with Dad. Hanna we love you & make sure you give Daisy & Owen BIG hugs from us.

Will update more later

Love
Patti

Wednesday, September 22, 2004 10:20 PM CDT

*****Yeah for Haley she is finished with radiation*****

***NEW PICTURES IN THE PHOTO BOOK***
Haley is feeling very well & was very Happy to say she is finished with what we hope is the end of her radiation days. Not that we don't enjoy the friends that we have made over at Methodist, but come on guys....would you want to be going through what Haley is? They are not able to do radiation at Children's hospital, so we go over to Methodist to get this, this hospital doesn't normally have alot of children, so everyday when Haley went she would sign in at the front desk along with some 40 other people. What a sad, sad feeling to be sitting there with your 11 year old daughter(who most think is a boy) and seeing all these older people coming in for radiation, sometimes you think the shoe should be on the other foot & it should be us getting the radiation & our daughters there for our support. Haley I hope has left an impression on many over there at Methodist, she walked in everyday with a Smile:) and left with the same beautiful smile on her face, never showed fear. **We want to make sure and Thank those there who made her feel welcome everyday, they sent her away with a gift card today, so that she will be able to a little shopping:) "Dave, Laura, Lisa, Pat Nikki~Thank you all so much for taking such Great care of Haley when she came to see you & Thanks for the gift card, she was very Happy".

Since we are talking about the last day of radiation we might as well say Thanks to some other very special people who made this day complete. Haley has been assigned "Chemo Angels" and they continue to sent/mail Haley & Hanna gifts/packages/cards/postcards etc every week & today the girls both had 2 BIG boxes to open!!! Lynda & Karrie "Thank you both so much"...you ladies continue to make the girls so Happy & today was just extra special!!!

After a long day filled with mixed emotions for us, Haley was able to open her gift from her family & WOW.....she cried & cried & cried-so guess what????? I cried & cried & cried...that's right she was able to open her gift bag with a Tug McGraw book "Ya gotta believe & several Tug baseball cards", this girl was so Happy, it breaks my heart as I type just thinking of the emotions that were running through her. She smiled, than looked down & couldn't look up for sometime...she had tears running everywhere. I'm so Happy that we could make her feel so good. She loves to listen to Tim & Faith, and of course since Tim has released his newest song "Live Like You Were Dying" and the story about his Father Tug, she has felt such a huge closeness to relate to them. She was starting to save money up, so that she would someday be able to purchase some of Tug's baseball cards....well after tonight she told me that I could have my change/money back. That girl she amazes me everyday....Hanna was right at Haley's side tonight & told Haley how very proud she was of her for finishing her radiation. That little girl is soooooo sweet to her big sister. Hanna started a little card collection tonight as well, we gave her some Michael Jordan cards(put a smile on her face) & of course some Lab photo frames. She so much loves her dogs.

Now onto other news, Haley will be starting Chemo on Monday, she will go for a 3 day treatment. We are not really sure of the plans after that, but pray that there is an end in site soon. As so many other families have been through including ours, you get very happy but scared to be at what they call the end of treatment. Haley did go to the Med Center yesterday & visit a Oncology Dentist. That trip went Great, he said everything look real well with Haley's teeth & that she should be loosing a few more teeth sometime soon. He also did indicate that it is true that Chemo can do damage to there mouth/teeth, what it really effects is the glands, which in return over such a long period of time can damage teeth.

We will be so ready to not have to travel everyday back and forth to Omaha. Wow that's alot of miles & time everyday.

Thanks to all the teachers at Norris for making the girls have such a Great start to the new year. Haley will be very sad when she has to be out for awhile do to the low counts that the Chemo brings. But she will email friends & complete her school work at home.

**Please say extra prayers tonight for our Speical friend Josh & his family. Without going into great detail, Josh is back in the hospital & seems to be doing better after surgery, but could use any extra prayers that you have. His family is very dear to us & we just can't imagine that extra stress that this puts on them. Josh's site is www.caringbridge.org/ne/Josh

We also send lots of prayers and loves out to all of our CaringBridge family members out there.

God Bless you all
Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

Wednesday, September 15, 2004 11:56 AM CDT

Here it is another probably long journal entry.....The nights seem to be so short anymore & not enough time to read emails or type an update(imagine that).

Anyway I will start off by stating last Friday was the last whole brain radiation & now we are working on the final 8 treatments to the back of her head(next Wednesday 9-22 will be the last one of them). Haley is still doing very well with the radiation and her counts are actually going UP^...her labs on Monday were very pleasing & Anisa wanting to know what Haley had been eating??!! The first time ever her Platelets have went in that direction.

Saturday brought on Haley's first Husker game!! We only got 2 tickets, so Haley & Mom went. Wow, can you say "Sea of Red" lots of Husker supporters there & very few South Miss.-Haley thought that was pretty cool!! She lots of fun actually learning more about the game & having some treats with Mom while we were there. She knows what she wants to do next time she goes(when she takes Dad & Hanna along).

Saturday evening brought on the benefit that was being held at the Event Center in Lincoln-I guess you can say it must have been a busy night for everyone & was hard for those who did want to come to find the location. Needless to say Haley & I had a good time, with those who were there & really enjoyed seeing Brooke & Josh & there families outside of the hospital for once!! Jess~I think you & Haley need to start some BINGO nights:) Special Thanks go out to our family members who helped LOTS with this & to Tina & Gwen from Hamilton College. I know that they put a lot of time & effort into making this work.

Sunday was a little catch up time & off to the carnival for God's Kids Club!! The girls both went & had lots of fun there. Thanks Keri for taking them for me!!

Monday, was back to school and radiation....Wow, was that fast!!! Mom wasn't feeling to well this day & actually had some time at home with no one else there(that doesn't happen very often at all). Today was the first day of the radiation just directed to the back of Haley's head(where the tumor was removed), so a little extra time doing xrays to make sure they had everything set up just right.

Tuesday, school was fine-Haley & Hanna are both having so much fun being back with all their friends. We all headed up to Omaha for radiation & along the way...Guess what??
Another tooth(this makes 3) came out, they are baby teeth so that is okay, but kinda makes you wonder why they are coming out all the sudden. Dr Wheeler has set Haley up to go over to the University Med Center to meet with Oncology Dental specialist-just to check on everything & make sure we are doing everything we can to help out.

I will try to get some new pictures out here of the benefit & game soon. Lots of prayers & thoughts go out to our CaringBridge family/friends-we think of you all often.

Lots of Hugs
Patti

Tuesday, September 7, 2004 9:54 PM CDT

Sorry for the delay in updating....We have so much to share!! As of the last update, Haley & Hanna went to work with me & had such a Wonderful time:) Thanks to everyone at my work for making them feel so Welcome & for putting together a Super packet of information, treats etc. They were treated to a Big fruit smoothie from Sandy-Thanks from the girls:) They had a tour, got to learn some games on the computer for Common Cents-educational for them and lunch(Thanks Tom & Diane for making this happen).

Haley started with her radiation on Thursday and she did real well through the procedure. She was able to go back to the Elementary school for Hanna's open house. She was so Excited to see what the inside looked like & to say Hi to all her old(not age) shall I say former teachers:) It was very shocking to think that they could possibly start school!!! Survivor is an understatement for a theme!! We than headed to Haley's open house, that was being held at a Church due to not having access to the Middle School. Everything was going pretty well, but than you could see that Haley wasn't feeling very well. We got her outside & she pretty much had a terrible rest of the night(got sick lots). Friday, Kevin took Haley for radiation, her radiation Dr didn't think she should be getting sick, so he talked with her Oncologist and the recommended that they start steriods....Her Oncologist said not at this point. Which is fine with us. She did very good with her 2nd round. Hanna & I tried to stay home & pack, we were going to take off for the weekend.

We ended up not leaving till 12:00 or so on Saturday and headed up to Sioux Falls, Mitchell & Yankton South Dakota. We all had such a Wonderful time, just getting away from here for a day or two was GREAT!!! We will put some new pictures together so you can see how much fun they had:) Saturday we started off by being in the heated pool at 7:00 than we took off & climbed rocks & played in the water. We than deceided to leave when we were getting gas and the tornado sirens started going off-we look at the clouds & took off headed South!!!!

I have forgotten to mention that we have a new addition to our family & her name is Daisy:) She is a Wonderful 1 year old Yellow Lab!!! She was able to make the trip with us & had SO much fun:) We want to make sure & let our friends the Knobbes know how very Happy we are to have her in our family:) She is doing well & we will be putting pictures of her out here soon.

**1st day of school was today Tuesday the 7th**

The girls were both very excited about going. Haley was able to go yesterday to get her counts done with many Thanks to the following Anisa, Dr Thompson, Annie & Angie in the infusion center. They all made sure that we could make this happen on Monday, so that if Haley was in need of any transfusions she could get them & start school today along with everyone else-this was so very nice-Thank You all:) Haley's counts were good & no transfusion was needed.

We put both girls on the bus this morning & sent them off to have what we hoped was a Wonderful day. We picked them both up & headed to Omaha for round 3 of radiation. They both talked the whole way & had SO much to share. One thing that bugged me was Haley & a few other 6 graders had the wrong portable to go to & when they arrived & sat down the teacher that was in there was for 7th grade. But she looked at Haley & motioned to her hat & said take it off. So the sweet child Haley is, she took off her hat for just a couple seconds & than they were told they were in the wrong class. I feel so mad at what the teacher did(I'm not made at her/the teacher, just at what was said & the fact that people just aren't aware), but feel sooooooo very proud of Haley once again. She did what the teacher ask-Haley Thanks for being so strong:) Believe me one day the awareness of Childhood Cancer will be known by way too many people & things(accidents) like this will be few & far in between.

Treatment went well today(so far) & we are headed back to school tomorrow. Thanks to all the girls friends & teacher who made their first day back Great. We know that the community will get through this mess & the school will be back to normal or even better before long.

Don't forget about the benefit coming up on Saturday the 11th at the Event Center from 5pm-midnight.

To all our Caringbridge families, we hope that you are all doing real well & that your beautiful children are making you smile everyday. To Schuyler & her Dad Mike, we are thinking and praying that scans are in your favor on Friday-Thanks for calling and updating us!! Lots of Love to all, we will be by soon to check in on all of you:)

A special Thanks to Christy at the Clinic for getting the rest of us our "LiveStrong" bracelets-we have been wearing everyday since we put them on!!

Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

Wednesday, September 1, 2004 3:56 PM CDT

Hey everyone, we are still up here at Children's. Haley did sooooooo Super with her scans-didn't get sick at all & guess what??????? Dr G actually says that they looked "Good".........what does that mean, well not lots but what it does mean is that he didn't come to us & tell us that they looked BAD-so at this point we are pleased!!!

He did also indicate that he wanted her to start radiation for the brain right away, so we are coming back tomorrow to start that!!! Haley is getting 2 units of RBC today, her hemoglobin had dropped, but Platelets were up a little.

Tomorrow the girls will be going to work with me:) They were not able to attend when it was "bring your child to work day" & my co-workers have made plans to have them attend with me tomorrow, which the girls are SO looking forward to this. We will leave my work after lunch time and head to Omaha for the first of 14 treatments to her brain. After radiation we will head home to attend both of the girls Open House for school!!!!

I'm going to get back in there with them, but wanted to type as soon as I could. Thanks for all the prayers & support.

We missed listing our Nurse Lynette's birthday, which was yesterday-Happy Belated Birthday Lynette, Thanks for all you do:)

That's all for now, we may try to update after the next 2 days of radiation, if by chance we don't-Have a Super weekend-enjoy the Wonderful family time.

Lots of Love
Patti

Tuesday, August 31, 2004 5:45 AM CDT

A quick update on what's happening in Haley's world!! She is feeling pretty good, she had counts yesterday & her Platelets fell back down to 20, so she got a transfusion. Once again she is complaining of pain in her heart/chest area..not sure what this might be, we never heard back from the Oncologist as to the results from the test that were ran a month or so ago. We did ask the Dr. who was in Lincoln if everything looked ok & she said "yes" & that she would send the results to Omaha to the Clinic. Maybe we will follow up & ask them tomorrow a little more about these test.

Hanna's results came back fine with all her testing that she had done:) Yeah-that's one less thing that we need to worry about!!

Please pray extra hard tonight & tomorrow as we head for Omaha for scans!! We should have results by afternoon & we can only pray that they are Good!! The scans that they will be running are of her abdomen, which will help her Dr. determine what steps are next. So just a heads up to the Dr.s we will have lots of question after this.

I will update after tomorrow to let you all know what we find out. Haley should be able to attend her Open house for school this week. We are not sure that they will still be able to open on the 7th, but the contractors & school are hoping so.

Lots of Love to all our CB friends/families out there. We slowly make it around to visit everyone sites, but it takes time.....which means that there is way to many kids out there fighting right now!!

***A Huge Thank You to Wyatt's family for the gifts that they mailed to Haley~she loved them, I will have to email you guys later & let you know a funny story that happened with the package**

Haley-Thanks for continuing to Always Smile:) & teaching us what living is all about!!! We love you & Hanna so much!!

********Don't forget to mark your Calendars******

BENEFIT FOR HALEY, JOSH AND BROOKE
SATURDAY SEPTEMBER 11TH AT THE LANCASTER EVENT CENTER. WE ARE ALSO TAKING DONATIONS AND ASKING EVERYONE WHO IS INTERESTED IN HELPING, GIVING DONATIONS, OR GETTING DONATIONS FOR THE SILENT AUCTION AND RAFFLES TO PLEASE EMAIL ME OR CALL.
THE ADMISSION FOR THE BENEFIT IS 10.00 PER PERSON, 15.00 PER COUPLE AND 30.00 PER FAMILY. THERE WILL BE SLOPPY JOES, CHIPS, SILENT AUCTION, RAFFLES AND A D.J. OR BAND.
IF ANY CAN HELP WE SURE COULD USE IT SINCE THERE IS ONLY TWO OF US WORKING ON THIS AND IT IS ALOT OF WORK. BUT AS WE ARE SAYING WE WILL NOT GIVE UP.
WE LOVE HALEY, JOSH AND BROOKE!!!!!!!!
IF INTERESTED PLEASE EMAIL ME.
ALWAYS THINKING OF ALL OF YOU AND ALL THE OTHER CHILDREN SUFFERING FROM WILMS AND ALL CANCERS.
HUGS,
TINA TINDLE

ALL DONATIONS CAN BE SENT TO HAMILTON COLLEGE IN CARE OF TINA TINDLE OR LISA POOLE

Lots of Prayers are being ask for Haley
Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

Wednesday, August 25, 2004 9:45 PM CDT

Hello to all of our friends & families!!! Sorry for the delay in updating, it has been an alright past week for us. I can't even tell you all of what we have done(I guess you can say I'm loosing my mind). Anyway as for Haley, she is feeling pretty good. She typically goes for counts every other day(Mon-Wed & Friday). She had to be transfused with Platelets on Monday & today, her Platelets got as low as 7 on Monday!! Today she was at 19, so we are coming up...slowly but surely.

Next set of scans are September 1st for her abdominal area, this will let us know what direction we head next for the treatment there(hopefully they will let us know how much more Chemo-this has been something that we/they don't know. It is just to keep going until they say stop). We do know that she will start radiation for the brain next step, but that will not be until her counts come UP!!!

**I have a couple prayer request for 2 of our Wilm's family members.....Josh who Haley & us are so very close with(they live & go to the same Dr. & Clinic) was waiting for his counts to come up & started having back pain. This is what Josh had the last time he relapsed, they ran a scan & have been told that the Dr's found more of the cancer growing:( He is not able to have surgery at this point due to the risk of several things. Please pray for the new Chemo they have started to work & free Josh from this nasty fight he is in.

2nd request is for Mickenzie who is another Wilm's family member, she has been hospitalized due to a fever & has now been told that her cultures than ran have come back positive & she has an infection. Mickenzie & family we are sending Big Loves to you all.

Last but not least please see the note in Haley's journal entry from Tina about the upcoming Fundraiser that is being held for Josh, Brooke & Haley in Lincoln on September 11th. At this point we would have no idea if we will be able to attend, but if you can support these children in anyway that would be wonderful-go out & have lots of fun.

The month of September is Childhood Cancer Awareness, please try to educate yourself on this issue. It is growing daily with new children & their families who have been given the terrible news that we are living with.

Thank You SO much to Haley's two new Chemo Angels Lynda & Karrie-they have sent her so much stuff this past week, her & Hanna are having so much fun opening the packages.

Oh did I say last but not least along time ago, well guess what..........We have a very special day coming up & we couldn't miss it for anything!!! Yes that's right Miss Kim-that is Nurse Kim.....Your Birthday~we won't mention your age, even though you are still so young:) We were blessed with meeting you a year ago & couldn't get through our hospital visits without you there. You have been so wonderful to Haley & our family....Thanks Kimmy see ya soon.

God Bless
Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

Thursday, August 19, 2004 12:49 PM CDT

I have been trying to think of something special to type today August 19th(1 year later), but of course the words that I want are just not there right now. I can tell you that the past year of our lives-has been so messed up!!! I know that nothing will every be the way it was before 8-19-03 & I guess I know that there is nothing we can do to change that....but I wish that someday soon, we will get some positive news that may change the outlook for this disease that not only our family is fighting but that many(too many in fact) are taking on right now & have been battling for sometime.

Haley went to Omaha yesterday went to Children's and got labs drawn than headed over to Methodist to undergo a CT scan, radiation made her mask for the radiation treatments of her brain, went back to Children's to get her blood type done(each time she gets a unit of blood, that day they must type her), went to the Clinic-recv'd her Platelets, back over to Methodist to complete her MRI. After that she headed back over to Children's to receive 2 units of Red Blood Cells. She started running a low grade fever, which if it didn't go down-would have bought her a ticket to 6th floor for about a week or so. Thank-goodness it went down & we went to pick up Hanna. Later in the evening Hanna come running to Kevin & I to let us know that Haley had just lost a tooth......This of course caused a little excitement since she has very low Platelets & an ANC of ZERO(no immune system to fight of anything). She didn't even no that her tooth was loose, just fell out~now we kinda wonder what effect the Chemo has on these kids teeth? She will go back for counts tomorrow to see if she needs another transfusion. Haley is still feeling pretty good.

We have learned that they will not be able to start radiation until her counts come back up, so I guess we will be waiting for sometime.....She will be going for scans the first week of September to let us know how her Liver, Lungs, Lymph nodes, IVC & the area of her right kidney look. After this we will visit with her Oncologist to determine where we head next. As I learn more I will share more.

I am typing a poem that I read from another's site that really says it all.......

To Haley-1 year ago today you were delivered the news that most people would have shut down to, but you have not only grown as an individual...you have helped so many other people realize that things could be sooooooo much more worse than what they are dealing with. On an everyday basis, you teach us SO much that no book, movie, song could ever do. Believe me there is no way that we could ever tell you or show you just how much you & Hanna mean or how much you complete us, but please know that "We are with you every step of everyday, we are with you all the way". Never Give up & Never Give in~you will win sweetie!!

Cancer is not a tragedy
Like most people feel
Though it's very serious
You can survive the ordeal
It can be a real nuisance
And I must admit
Since I was diagnosed
Life has changed a bit

One does a lot of thinking
About life and death and such
Cancer can change you
But we don't use it as a crutch

It has changed my body some
But these things will mend
Life is still worth living
Cancer is not the end.

Thanks to everyone who has been such a huge part of our lives this past year. Thanks to those of you who were part of our lives before last year & Thanks to those who will part of our lives through the years to come.

With lots of Love
Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

Sunday, August 15, 2004 10:20 PM CDT

*****1 in a million is what they say Haley is*****
We have had a very busy past week, 3 days of Chemo-came home Wednesday, went back to Omaha Thursday to get a scan of her brain & visit with Neurosurgeon, this went well. Friday brought Hanna's Dr visit, followed up by dentist than we headed back to Omaha to see Haley's Radiation Dr. They have determined that the tumor that they removed from Haley's Cerebellum is actually Wilm's tumor that has Metastasis(which means the spread of a cancer). This is where the 1 in a million comes into play, there is a 1hance that this will happen with Wilm's tumor. So to us this is very scary news, since they haven't had alot of experience with it. They have deceided that they will do radiation to her whole brain(low doses) than will block off half way & only treat the tumor bed area. Tomorrow we will take Hanna for her ultrasound in the morning(just to rule out that she is clear) & Haley will get counts, than we will take Haley to Omaha on Wednesday for another round of CT & MRI's to get her started on radiation probably as soon as Thursday.

We did try to enjoy the nice weather this weekend & have some family fun. Haley is feeling pretty good this round of Chemo, she is still eating very well:)

I do want to change notes a little here and get emotional.....We watched the movie "I am Sam" last night & the meaning of unconditional Love just gets me. I could never imagine that thought of not having one of my children here with me, but when you are faced with an illness like this....at some point you have to look at everything. My heart drops for those families out there who have fought the fight & whose sweet children have earned their wings!! It is so hard for me to waste alot of time on the thoughts of this happening, but I must think it everynow & again. Believe me everyday when we are blessed with waking up with these 2 little girls at our sides, it means more than any amount of money, more than the house we live in, the car I drive or the clothes I wear......As I sit here & try to type this message I have Haley & Hanna behind me playing & laughing-Hanna gets Haley laughing so hard sometimes-it is so funny. So much for being sad!! That's what I mean by I can't waste much time on it, to much to live for. So at this point I ask for each of you to give your children, regardless of their age & BIG hug & let them know how much you truly need & love them.

To every family that we have so much in common with by dealing with a serious illness, we love you all & pray daily for your families. To our families & friends that support us daily "Thank You". To everyone at my place of employment "Thanks for dealing with all my emotions & supporting me & my family".

To my sister Tammy in heaven, We wish you a Happy Birthday-we think of you daily & love & miss you bunches. She would have been 43 years old today.

God Bless you all
Patti

Wednesday, August 11, 2004 2:17 PM CDT

**Update as of Thursday night, we just got back from Omaha today & get to go back tomorrow to meet with our Dr. Wheeler our radiation Dr. The scans today looked good to our Neurosurgeon, he will take another scan on Sept. 23 of the brain & spine to see if everything looks good. We will find out lots tomorrow as for what comes next(I hope)-they are going to go with radiation to her brain, but we don't know how much & what areas(kinda concerning about the short term & long term effects, but if it needs to be done, we must do that & worry of the other later). Haley felt pretty good today, only getting sick once. Hanna is going tomorrow for a physical to make sure that nothing is hiding out there for her-since the can't guarantee it is not genetic. Good-Luck Hanna:)

Hanna got a notice today that school is starting up again & how LUCKY is she to have gotten Haley's forth grade teacher Debi Cruise!!!!! We are all very excited, Debi was a Wonderful teacher for Haley & has been such a Great friend to our family every since than. Thanks for coming to the hospital to see Haley & Hanna-it makes them smile!!! It is hard to believe that after the tornado in spring, school is getting close to starting!! What a Strong school district we are in. We will update once we find out more tomorrow!!

Sending loves to all

We are headed home soon!! Haley did real well with her Chemo this past 3 days & is feeling pretty good. We will come back up tomorrow & have a scan of the tumor bed in her brain that they removed, so that they can see what the other 2 spots look like that they left. Hopefully we will know lots more as for the future steps in tackling the 2 different areas now.

Haley got pretty silly yesterday & was squirting every nurse that came into her room with water!! I think that she had 9 of them total, but don't worry they got her back-they told her they got in trouble from their boss & that she couldn't do it any more-so she said ok........and than they squirted her :) Lots of Laughs-good for the body & mind!!!!

Will update more after tomorrows meeting & scans

Thanks for the support

Lots of Love
Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna too

Monday, August 9, 2004 4:51 PM CDT

Hi everybody!! We are here at the hospital & everything is going okay.....haven't started with Chemo yet, but it is coming!! Since it is so late in the day, Haley will run into the midnight hour getting Chemo & than being flushed with high fluids & Mesna throughout the night to clear her bladder out. The Chemo are going back to full strength this time, so not sure what this may do to her again. Last time the had to decrease the amount since it knocked her down for so long.

The plan is to be done with Chemo on Wednesday either stay overnight here in Omaha or drive home & than return for scans on Thursday with Dr. Puccioni of the tumor bed in her brain that they removed the largest mass.

We will not have computer access for the next couple days, so we will update later once we get back home.

Sending lots of Prayers & Hugs to each of you & your families. Thanks so much for being here/there for our family.

** A couple quick notes on the weekend, Haley & Hanna went to see a movie with Keri, Kody & Jami on Saturday~Thanks Guys the girls had LOTS of FUN with you 3:) Than Sunday, Haley, Hanna & myself we putt-putt golfing with several friends....Steve, Sandy, Maddie, McKenzie, Ashley, Emily, Maggie, Meredith, T.J & Tori~Girls & Steve this was sooooo much fun, we all had a Super time & were so glad that so many friends could make it. We will do something again, once Haley's counts climb back up & is doing Great- Big Hugs to you guys:)
Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

Friday, August 6, 2004 11:10 PM CDT

I'm going to try and add a new entry. The computer is having lots of problems. Haley is feeling pretty Good!! We are not sure what all we are going to do this weekend, but want to try & have some fun before Haley goes for treatment on Monday.

Haley's incision from her brain surgery is healing well & she is doing very well with it. She can & has been able to wear her favorite baseball cap all week long!!! We will update once more before we go up on Monday and let everyone know what Haley & Hanna did this weekend.

We hope that everyone has a Wonderful weekend & gets out to enjoy the wonderful weather!! We want to apologize to our Caringbridge families, we will get out there to check in on you all, we have made short visits this week, but haven't got a chance to sign journals. Please know how much we appreciate you all coming by to check on Haley's progress & offer your strong prayers & wishes. May God Bless each of your families & bring you all wonderful news on scans, updates, treatments & mostly just being able to smile-love & hold onto one another each day!

Lots of Love
Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

Tuesday, August 3, 2004 10:25 PM CDT

**Everything with the EKG & ultrasound turned out ok, they think she might of had a pill stuck that was causing some pain in her chest/heart area. Needless to say we were relived to hear this.**

I know that everyone is waiting to hear the update.....As of today I found out that Haley's Dr is on vacation & will be gone the rest of the week(go figure that's how it always works for us). Anyways, her Neurosurgeon called me back & visited with me on the results a little. The Path reports at this point came back as Wilms and is still a Favorable staging. We don't know lots about what is ahead, except that we will go for a scan next Thursday of the area that they removed the tumor & will watch the other 2 spots on her brain that are there & follow up again in 6-8 weeks.

I finally got in touch with one of our Clinic Dr.s Minnie who did sit in on the conference call yesterday & she really didn't tell me anything about what was said. Haley will start Chemo on Monday next week & go for 3 days. This will be the beginning of week 8 that she has been off, so it is VERY important that she get started right away.

Haley & Hanna were able to run into my work for just a few minutes today & as we were leaving Haley indicated that she had heartburn. Well this afternoon that heartburn turned into more of a pain in her heart, so of course I called back to the Clinic with my concerns. Haley has not had any monitoring of her heart through all of this & I think that they are waiting to see if she still complains of this pain tomorrow & if she does they want us to bring her up for some test EKG, etc of the heart area & look at her lungs.

I will add more to this entry tomorrow, but for now we just got home from visiting with our friends the MacDonald's, Thanks for having us over to play with the puppies, they are sooooooo cute:)

If in the event we don't get to update this & our put in the hospital without computer access....We want to make sure & wish 2 very special people in our lives "HAPPY BIRTHDAY"......Anisa who we talk so much about & care so much for-is off on vacation & will be Celebrating her Birthday!!!! On this same very day August 5th~Rob our Child Life Buddy is Celebrating his Birthday-these are 2 very special people/friends who make our hospital stays so much easier!!! We hope that you both enjoy your day!!!!

Lots of Love to all
Patti

Monday, August 2, 2004 5:01 AM CDT

Haley is doing pretty well-she has been taking it one day at a time & loving being at home with her family!! Not much to report as of this morning, except the fact that I will be going back to work:( This seems so unfair to me that each time something goes wrong with Haley, as soon as she is recovered or at least headed in that direction-I must rush back to work. I miss her & Hanna so much when I leave......

Today Haley's Dr.s will be having a conference call world wide & will present Haley's case. If I haven't heard anything from them, I will call tomorrow & find out more on what steps are next!!!

I will update more tomorrow-with what I hope is some positive news for once.

Haley as your Lance Armstrong bracelet says "LIVESTRONG"

Honey I pray that your Dr comes back with promising news & that you are rewarded sweetie-you are going to make a HUGE difference in so many lives as you get older!!! Not as if you don't already:) You are more than words can explain.

Hanna-Don't give up sweetie, believe in yourself & your big sister Haley~ it will get easier & you and your sister will have good things come to you both for being who you are!!

****Hugs for everyone****

What happens when there is nothing you can physically do to protect your child? When illness or disaster puts life out of your control? You do the best thing you can do. You pray. You pray that the One who gave you your precious child will protect her in miraculous ways. You ask that your child always be wrapped in the arms of the Savior, especially when your arms are out of reach.

But don't wait until disaster strikes to pray. Start praying for protection for your child right now. Pray for your child's health. Pray for her safety. Pray for her salvation. While you're at it, you may also want to say a prayer of thanks.

This was a quote from my calendar that I think of daily....thought I would share!!!
Thanks for your support
Patti

Tuesday, July 27, 2004 12:42 AM CDT

***We're home....We're home....We're home***

This will come as no surprise to those of you who have known Haley & her strength.....She really came around Wednesday GREAT & was released from the hospital later in the day(2 days after surgery). We had to wait for the Dr to get out of surgery and come release us!!! Very amazing to think that this child was at camp last week(having so much fun with her friends & counselors) than just had brain surgery on Monday & was only in ICU for less than 12 hours & is now at home!!! Haley-I know that there are many children out there fighting hard like you & I know that I'm your Mom, but "You are the light the shines in our eyes" We are so Very proud of you & all that you are doing. Keep moving forward sweetie, we are with you every step of the way!!

It sounds like we will know more maybe later next week on Path report & where we head next. Hopefully those Dr's are working hard to get everything in order to start as soon as we can.

Thanks for all the calls, journal entries, gifts, visitors & letters you have all sent, it shows how much support we truly have.

Lots of Love-Keep the Faith

A quick update on Haley's surgery. Haley went into surgery at 1:00 yesterday & the doctor came to visit with us at 6:00, another long day but she made it through!!! Lots of stories that I can share later, but right now I just wanted to let you know that she did GREAT!!!! Anisa was at her side until we could go see her & this meant so much not only to Haley but meant the world to us!! Thank You Anisa:)

Haley's doctor removed what was a rather large tumor(golf ball size or so) in the back of her head & had the Pathologist from here look at it, they do believe that this is Wilm's Tumor-but we will wait to get the full Path report back. She went for a MRI this morning & shortly after that returned to her regular room upstairs:)This made her very happy. She has a long way to go, but was turning her head from side to side last night & actually lifting it up in the air on her own!!!

Hanna & I are headed back upstairs to be with her & Kevin. I will let her know that she has lots of reading of all the journal entries once she gets feeling better.

We could never Thank You enough for all the prayers & support.....We Love you all & continue to pray for all the other children out there that are battling a terrible disease.

Will try to update more within the next 2 days.

God Bless
Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

Saturday, July 24, 2004 2:00 PM CDT

News as of Sunday-Haley had a very rough night last night & hasn't been herself at all today. This is very upsetting news to all of us. I know that she has the strength to do this, but when you sit and watch your child just lie there & than get sick & repeat that cycle over & over-It SUCKS!!! They have give her some different medication today, they believe that she has some swelling taken place & that is what started to make her sicker overnight... Tomorrow will tell the truth & it is so hard for me to find the FAITH right now, but I must do it for her-as she lie there and fight for us!!!!!! Haley-WE LOVE YOU BABYGIRL-Don't give up & Don't give in~You will WIN!!!!

Another round of crappy news for Haley & us.....

This news may come to shock most of you as it has our family.....Haley has been admitted to the hospital but not for her scheduled Chemo treatment. Haley is at this point set up to have Brain surgery on Monday-yes that's right brain surgery:( All I can say is that if I would have typed yesterday I would have cried & cried & cried at this point I am now angry & sad, but want to type an update to all of you who Love her so!! I will do my best to type the best update I can so you can try to make sense of what we are dealing with(Hanna is sitting here at my side-looking through books).

Here it goes.....We picked Haley up from camp on Wednesday & she talked all day about how much fun she had, but did indicate that she had a heahache still. She did fine Wednesday night and started the day off ok on Thursday(slept kinda late-catching up from camp). Thursday afternoon Kevin & Haley called me & Haley was crying she said her head hurt. I called over to her Dr. who comes to Lincoln on Thursday & he said we could give her Tylenol & see if that helped. Thursday night at bed time she got sick & vomitted. Friday morning as we were getting ready to come to Omaha for treatment Haley vomitted several times, we had one stop to make before we came up here, so I called the Clinic & told them we were headed up, but that Haley had still complained of a headache & is now vomitting & if there was anything they needed to do-we would be there in an hour. They called back & had here scheduled for a CT scan ASAP, following that her Dr. came to us & said they did see something & now they needed an MRI, which we followed up later again with another 3 sets of MRI's. This made the afternoon very long & at this point all we know is there is something there & the surgeon is looking to see if they need to remove it.

We have met with both Drs & just today viewed the scans, she has a golfball size tumor/bloodclot at the base of the back of her head(sorry I wish I could use the Dr.s terms but I can't remember any of that right now). They have taken her off of her blood thinner shots as of yesterday to try & thicken her blood, but on the same note now she is being monitored very closely for the chance of forming a new blood clot or having a stroke. We will have 1 more scan done Monday just to see how everything looks & than Haley will be having surgery at 1:00.

All I know right now is that I/we are very tired of fighting this NASTY beast & want it to go away & leave our daughter & other children alone. Haley has heard everything the Dr. have said about the whole process & at this point is either in shock or just that darn strong of a girl. Due to the size of the tumor she is getting dizzy(it throws her balance off) and is getting sick lots more as I speak.

Please at this time I ask for you to pray for her as she is about to go through what I/we & the Dr. would say one of the very toughest moments in her life!!!!!!!! With Haley's past one of the biggest scares it the bleeding issue & can cause lots of complications if something should happen.

Thank you to everyone who has been there & supported us in so many ways @ this time there is no way I could name you all, but please know we couldn't get through this without you.

May God Bless you all & may he be there to guide the surgeons hands on Monday & protect Haley from any further harm.

Haley~sweet girl, when you are older & reading through this journal I want you to know how much WE LOVE YOU!!! and let you know that you are the TRUE meaning of strength, courage, faith, love and the list goes on honey. Love you sweetheart

Hanna-Be strong for your sister, she couldn't get through the days ahead without you by her side. Mom & Dad couldn't make it through without you being there with us & making us smile....we LOVE YOU TOO sweetie:)

Who would know that your life could change so much within a day??? A parent of a child with cancer could know, because it happens time and time again......CANCER SUCKS!!!!!!!

Love
Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

Wednesday, July 21, 2004 9:08 PM CDT

Can you say "YAHOO-HALEY'S HOME"....Today couldn't have come any sooner!! Kevin, Hanna & I went to pick Haley up from CoHoLo camp(camp for children with cancer). Haley was hangin' around with her friends & counselors outside their cabin when we got there. She came running over and gave me a HUGE hug & told me Happy Birthday!!! I Love that girl:) She gave Dad & Hanna loves & once that was out of the way, can I say she hasn't stopped talking!!! It has been such a treat to listen to her talk ALL day. I couldn't even probably begin to tell you everything except for she wishes she could have stayed longer & can't wait for next year.

More on camp....She did everything that there was to do, if you go on the website you probably seen lots of pictures of her doing different things. The one that got me crying was last night when I looked at the pictures & seen Haley in a harness climbing a telephone pole & walking across the high wire~this is a miracle for a girl who is scared of heights(can't stand to ride a little kid rides that are too high in the air). She was doing it:) This is the activity that she has talked about the most & can't wait to do it again next year....Yeah that's right she is planning on going back next year!! She loved the slide that they had at camp, the fire-truck that hosed them down with water, the high & low challenges they did, the dance, the food, the counselors, the paint-ball guns, the inside craft activities and meeting new friends.

None of this would have taken place if it weren't for her friend Kayla & her mom telling us about how much fun Kayla has had over the past 5 years(this helped knowing her experience) but really did it was her Nurse Anisa calling and letting me know about the 1 bed left & begging me to let Haley come......Anisa we know that you are still at camp through this weekend with the olders kids but when you read this-We Love You!!! I couldn't imagine you working any other job, you love these kids & what you do & they love you in return!!! Thanks for doing such a Wonderful job:) We will talk more camp later this next week, cuz believe me Haley will still be talking about it!!

We went and got Haley's counts done after camp & guess what???? She finally made it, not by much...but she made it. Her Platelets reached 79 and they needed to be at 75!!! We were going to head to Omaha tomorrow, but they do not have a lot of help on hand tomorrow & Dr. G is in the Lincoln clinic, so he wants us to come up Friday/Sat/Sunday...I guess that will work!!

Tonight we went swimming together & had some good ol' family fun. Hanna loved being home with just Mom & Dad, but I think/know she is very excited to have her big sister home.

Thanks for all the continued support to our family, it is always nice to know that people are still interested in knowing what is going on with Haley, since it seems like we just keep going & going.....I know that there will be an end date-don't know when, but it will get here & this girl will come out a Winner!!!

Kayla, Liz and Morgan-Haley had lots of fun with you girls this past few days & wants to wish each of you the best of luck with your upcoming scans, treatments etc. We pray daily for you all & just know that the Lord has good things planned for you special girls.

Caringbridge friends/family, may each day be filled with the smiles that your sweet children give you & may you each know that we pray for you & your family & wish that there would be a cure for these sick diseases that are taking our sweet babies!!!! We love you all

Thanks for listening
Patti

Sunday, July 18, 2004 4:31 PM CDT

Haley's update-I type this all once & the computer deleted it, so this may be quick until I can update later. Today is "Hanna's day", first time since last August. Thursday Haley's counts came back & she had dropped, so we weren't able to start Chemo. Anisa her nurse called & said "we have 1 bed for an 11 year old girl open"?? I'm thinking Wow they are going to take her with her counts low??? No, Anisa was referring to cancer camp. Well by Thursday night Haley had deceided she was going to camp!!!!

Friday night she was able to attend her softball party. Haley & Hanna had lots of fun swimming with their buddies.
Friday night Haley pulled her tooth out, kinda scary when her Platelets are so low. I had told her she needed to pull it before she went to camp or wait till she came back, so she took care of that!!!

Saturday we spent lots of family time together & got to go swimming at the Harrops, it was so peaceful-the whole pool to ourselves!!! Thanks Bobby & Kathy:)

Sunday we headed to take Haley to camp. It was very sad to drop her off, but we are very Happy for her as well!! Camp is called "Camp CoHoLo" which stands for Courage, Hope & Love. They have a website that we can check every night so that we can see updated pictures on Haley & her friends.

Haleygirl-have loads of fun honey, know that Mom/Dad & Hanna miss you sooooooo much sweetie!!! talk to you soon

Lots of Hugs
Patti

Tuesday, July 13, 2004 5:45AM CDT

Here's our update.......Hanna's team WON-they took 1st place & so deserved it!!! They played Great, they lost the first game on Saturday than turned around and played the same team on Sunday and Won!!! I will get pictures out of this event~Hanna had a smile from ear to ear!! Laura, Jami, Kody, Ashley, Brooke & Haley cheered them on to their victory!! It was so good to see all the girls hit the ball & make such huge improvements from the beginning of the season.

Now for Haley's update, she went for counts yesterday-1st thing is her Platelets are climbing(they were at 64) but her Hemoglobin was down to 7.6(this is the lowest she has been). She got 2 units last night & is feeling pretty well so far. She will go back for counts on Thursday if she is high enough she will start treatment on Friday.

Haley's team is doing their tournaments this week, they won their 1st game last night. We are not sure how much Haley will be able to play, the heat is finally here & she is really to stay out of the direct sun. We will try are hardest to get her there to see or play in a game or 2.

Good Luck to the 12 & under Firth Girls-Play hard ladies, we are cheering for you all!!!! Thanks to Haley's coaches for making her have such a wonderful season of ball!

Relay for Life was on Friday & it was such a wonderful place to be. Very motivating to all....next year we will have Haley's team put together & stay all night long!! It was Great to see everyone there that we did....lots of friends & teachers:)

To our friend Kayla-Good Luck with your additional scans tomorrow! We are praying that everything will turn out good sweetie:) Keep us updated

One last note-Quick story, Haley was using the restroom in a store last week(yes the ladies) & a woman walked in with her daughter-looked at Haley and said...hmmmm I think we are in the mens room, turned around walked out back through the door & said "nope we are not". One of those stories that makes you laugh but yet makes you say "wake up people-don't judge a book by the cover". Thank godness for Haley, she just rolled with it...I on the other hand may not have:) Haley~thanks for the Wonderful attitude you carry through all of this-you are so strong!!! Love you:)

Lots of Smiles to you all
Patti

Thursday, July 8, 2004 11:16 PM CDT

A couple quick notes.....
Haley's counts are still too low, her Platelets are at 44, they have come up from 6 last week. We will go back on Monday to check again, please pray for her counts to come up!!!!

Next favor I have is.....Hanna's team has made it to the Championship game on Saturday morning......they did GREAT & Hanna was SUPER. Could you Please drop some encouraging words to Hanna in the guestbook?!! She would be so tickled to read the comments....Hanna we Love you & are so very Proud of you & Haley. GO get'em Girl:)

Relay for Life tomorrow in Lincoln, we should be able to go for awhile, but will not stay too long-we got a game to win on Saturday & next year when we are considered in remission-we will Celebrate & have a team & stay all night long!! Hopefully we will take a couple friends with us tomorrow night~Jami, Kody & Keri will go with us & we will be meeting Lori & Sheri there!! Lots of teachers from Norris will be there, it will be good to see them-as well Josh & his family.

Until I update this weekend on Hanna's game & how Haley is doing....Please continue to pray for all the families & children who are dealing with a terrible disease & having to live each day not knowing what tomorrow brings!!

We love you all
Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

Saturday, July 3, 2004 11:18 AM CDT

Tuesday July 6th update~

Haley went in for counts today & was kinda let down when her Platelets fell again:( We thought for sure that they would have climbed over the long weekend, I guess that just lets you know what we say when we "take it one day at a time". She looks GREAT & is feeling real good. Tonight she went to cheer her sister Hanna on in the first night of tournaments. Way to GO Hanna-we are VERY proud of you!!! Keep smilin:) honey & never ever forget how important you are to Haley's recovery....she couldn't get throught those rough days without you at her side.

We will update the page after counts on Thursday & let you know how Hanna is doing playing ball.

Lots of Love to all
Patti

Happy 4th of July to each of you!!!! Haley went and had counts done on Friday, her Platelets are making there way up:) She will go back on Tuesday for counts & if they are high enough than she will start Chemo on Wednesday! We hope that each of you have loads of fun this week & spend Great family time together.

We apologize to all those that we don't get by to check in on over the weekend-lots to do here & not enough time. We pray daily for all of our CB families/friends & hope that you are blessed with laughter, love & smiles everyday.

Thanks to all of you who have stopped by and checked in on Haley & her progress. She is feeling pretty good & we are going to take advantage of that:) Have a Safe 4th of July.

Lots of Love
Patti

Thursday, June 24, 2004 5:13 PM CDT

New pictures are here:)

Haley's counts on Monday were looking pretty good, Platelets were at 20 and her White Blood Count was high enough that we were able to stop giving her the Neupagen shot(Yeah). Dr G was pleased with her counts & said that we would probably start Chemo next week. Wednesday's counts proved to show that she won't start Chemo next week. Her Platelets dropped down to 6(so she got a transfusion) and will go back Friday for counts again. Other than her counts being low she is feeling pretty well, played a couple softball games this week & went to Hanna's game to cheer her on:)

We will update after Friday's counts.
Big Smiles to all:)

**Sunday update-Haley is feeling pretty good, she got the chance to go out to some friends house and do lots of fun stuff at their dairy(Thanks Rice's & Obbinks). The girls got to ride in a Milk semi, the barrel ride, hay-rack ride through all the cows & got to watch the Dairy cows being milked!! Made some fun mixes with Milk, pudding mixes & other stuff mixed in(Thanks Megan-we loved them), had cow-pies(Sam & Emily these were good), petting zoo, hay maze & learned lots about the dairy life.....We had such a Wonderful time doing this as a family. Today the girls went for a little walk & as you can see they found the mulberry bushes!!! Haley will go for counts tomorrow-we hope that her Platelets are climbing on their own & that she doesn't need another transfusions. Still fever free:)

**Quick update as of Friday June 25th, Haley needed another Platelet transfusions and they didn't have any here in Lincoln, so we headed up to Children's to get her transfusion done. She will go back again on Monday to get counts, we will update again to let everyone know how she is doing......We are very excited that she is fever free still!!!!! Lots of Hugs

Hey everybody quick update on Haley.....she went for her counts on Wednesday & was very low. Her ANC was "0", hemoglobin @8.0 & Platelets 10. She needed to get 2 units of RBC and Platelets. Her Dr. won't let her get all 3 at the same time, so she got 1 and 1 yesterday and went back today for more RBC. They only had 1 same donor for Platelets in all of Lancaster county yesterday(Thank You to whoever that was). Which leads us to Thanking all of you who do donate Blood or products of blood.....You truly don't know how many lives you save each day! Haley and so many others would not have a chance if they weren't able to receive blood from others.

Friday, Haley will head back for counts again to see if she is holding her own or needs more transfusions.

Continue to pray for Haley and so many other children & their families that are dealing with an illness at this time.

Thanks for all the support
Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

Sunday, June 20, 2004 7:43 PM CDT

**As of Monday June 21st....Haley's count were low, but not low enought for a transfusion. She will go back on Wednesday for counts again-probably need Platlets & Blood transfusion than. Kevin learned how to put Haley's new Cath/Infusion into her leg last night(did Great). This is so that we don't have to try & find 3 different locations everyday to give her shots, less bruising & hopefully less painful for her.

Don't forget to check out the Relay for Life website...Haley's team is called "Haley's Heros". Thanks everybody!!

Hi it's me Haley & I am at home and doing pretty good!! I go for my counts tomorrow to see where they are at. I wanted to tell my Daddy "Happy Father's Day" from Hanna & me. I hope that he had a Great Day today. My Mom is going to type a couple poems for our Dad & for everybodies Dad's out there.

What Makes A Dad

God took the strength of a mountain,
The majesty of a tree,
The warmth of a summer sun,
The calm of a quiet sea.
The generous soul of nature,
The comforting arm of night,
The wisdom of the ages,
The power of the eagle's flight.
The joy of a morning in spring,
The faith of a mustard seed,
The patience of eternity,
The depth of a family need.
Then God combined these qualities,
When there was nothing more to add,
He knew His masterpiece was complete,
And so, He called it ......Dad.
~Author Unknown~

What I A Dad

A Dad is a person
who is loving and kind,
And often he knows
what you have on your mind.
He's someone who listens,
suggests, and defends.
A Dad can be one
of your very best friends!

He's proud of your triumphs,
but when things go wrong.
A Dad can be patient
and helpful and strong
In all that you do,
a Dad's love plays a part.
There's always a place for him
deep in your heart.

And each year that passes,
you're even more glad.
More grateful and proud
just to call him your Dad!
Thank You, DAD~
for listening and caring,
for giving and sharing,
but, especially, for just being you!!
Happy Father's Day
~Author Unknown~

To Haley & Hanna's special Dad"Kevin"-Thanks for all you do-we Love you bunches!!!

To our Grandpa's-Thanks so much for being there for us, we Love you too.

God Bless our caringbridge friends, Doctors & Special Nurses, co-workers, classmates, neighbors, relatives & friends. May each day bring you happiness & may you realize the value of each day.

Lots of Love
Haley & Hanna

Tuesday, June 15, 2004 5:50 PM CDT

**Update as of Wednesday, Haley is home and did Great with her treatment**

Hi everyone Haley was admitted for Chemo on Monday and will come home tomorrow afternoon sometime. I stayed with her yesterday and overnight, we had lots of fun being together. She got to play with Josh & his sister Jess in the Clinic, they were on their way back from their trip North to Minnesota. It was so good to see them, Haley couldn't keep up with Josh-everytime she would get to where he was playing he would move onto the next toy:) What a joy to see him like this....Once we got to our room of course Haley was ready for her Child Life buddy & Art Therapist to bring her crafts:) Thanks to Rob & Janet for keeping her busy~you two are Wonderful!!! She started Chemo around 6 Monday night & ran up until 12:00 or so, this kept her in the bathroom all night long.

Tuesday Dad & Hanna came up to stay with Haley & I will go back to work tomorrow. Can I say what an empty feeling I have right now!! I know that tonight will be harder on me than any other, neither one of the girls with me-I know that they will have fun at the hospital with Kevin, but it just don't seem right Mom her with our little dog Owen!!! I missed you guys so much as I headed back to Lincoln with Grandpa & Lindsay, good thing I rode with them or I would have cried the whole way home. I feel sorry for the people at my work tomorrow, boy am I going to be tired!!

I will keep this short, Haley wants for me to work on a new slide show or 2 to put on her page, so I will do my best later tonight.

Thanks for checking in on Haley & signing her guestbook, she is at the age that she really does enjoy reading what everyone has to say to her.

Thanks
Patti

Friday, June 11, 2004 9:34 PM CDT

I will start off by saying "Thank You Lord for bringing Haley's counts up", she is still not there yet, but very close. The doctors want for her Platlets to be at 75 before they start her next round of Chemo & today she was at 71-Yeah!!! We will do a 24 hour collection from Sunday to Monday morning & than head to Omaha. They need to check her left kidney to make sure it is functioning good before they start anything else. They will be reducing the amount/strength of Chemo that she gets this next time, in hopes that she will rebound quicker. Her body hasn't not responded very well to Chemo & once she had radiation followed up with this harsh of a round of treatment, it really through her body for a loop!!

As for Haley-if you haven't been fortunate enough to have seen her lately....she is the strongest, happiest, loveable, most cheerful 11 year old that I know:) She ALWAYS has a smile on her face & is so happy to have been able to play several games of softball with her friends as well Hanna & Haley were both able to attend Vacation Bible School this whole week!!!

Today we were able to go swimming in some very special friends pool(had the whole pool to ourselves).....Thanks Bobby & Kathy we Love you both so much!!

Thanks to Lori for signing up for our Relay team "Haley's Hero's", we sure hope that we can get a good team put together & raise some money to help find a CURE for cancer.

To my Aunt Alice, who is going through a battle herself...the girls & Kevin Loved seeing you & Linda the other day. We pray for you each night & know that you are tough & will plow right through this as well! Love you:)

Lots of Love to our Caringbridge families in ALL states & too those who show so much support from our community always.

God Bless Each of You
Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

Saturday, June 5, 2004 10:52 PM CDT

**Update as of Tuesday morning....Haley's Platlets are still way too low to start any type of a treatment. She hasn't had anything for 6 weeks, so we really need to start. Now this extra time gives the Doctors the time they need to come up with the right plan for Haley's next steps in her treatment, as of yesterday they still weren't sure what was going to start today. They think Chemo first, but not sure how much they are going to give her, they need to reduce the amount(not sure how effective this will be) & it doesn't take to much before this crap starts to spread again!!! We will let you know more as we find out. Thanks for all the prayers & notes for Haley:)

Hey Everyone, Haley had her scans on Thursday & we learned that they are ok. Her Dr. was in Lincoln, so we talked with another Dr. within the clinic. We visited with Anisa on how the Stem Cell works, so we educated ourselves a little, but will learn more as we go. We will take Haley in on Tuesday & hope that her Platlets are high enough & she will start her next round of Chemo. Once we talk with Dr. Gnarra we will update more.

One thing that I ask is the question....When would we be able to say we were having our last Chemo & at this point that is not an option with Haley. She has & is such a different case than they are used to seeing & everything that could go wrong does.....so I just pray that we are as lucky as the other children to finally get to say that. On that note we read that our friend Brooke, just finished her last Chemo-We are so Proud of you Brion family:) Lots of Love to you all.

**I don't want to forget after Haley's scans on Thursday she was invited to stay overnight at a cabin with friends. It was hard but we thought she deserved this & would have lots of fun....She is now giving 1 of her shots everyday so we knew she would be ok with that....To Margaret, Emily, Terry, Maggie, Meredith, T.J, Tori & Maddie~Haley had so much fun with all of you-Thank you for making her feel so special & normal:) She Loves you guys....You are wonderful friends to her & our family.

Well better get going for now....We will update next Tuesday once we find out what's going on. Lots of Love to all who support us:)

Caringbridge families continue to enjoy each day & stay strong through all you are dealing with!!!

Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

Friday, May 28, 2004 12:39 AM CDT

**Quick update, Haley had her counts today & her Hemoglobin was at 8.6, so she got 2 units of RBC. She was able to play in her game yesterday, couldn't run all that fast, but who could with a low Hemoglobin like that. She did just SUPER & had lots of fun with her team. Hanna played the game before Haley's game & Hanna has learned from a Great Softball player, she hits that ball clear out there like her older sister & gets those pop-flys:)

Scans are set up for Thursday morning, so we will update sometime after that. Please pray that those results are GOOD news for our family, Haley deserves GOOD news for once.**

Hello to all of our fan club members.....Haley went to get counts yesterday & they were low, but are slowly making there way up!! We visited with Dr. Gnarra and he has ordered up scans for Thursday June 3rd, based on the results from these scans he feels they are going to have to kick Haley's treatment up to a more harsh round. They are talking about having to do a BMT(Bone Marrow Transplant), harvesting Haley's cells. We know nothing about this & will wait to educate ourselves until we have too. Of course we didn't like this news and it pretty much set the pace for the rest of the day, but we knew that we couldn't let it ruin the day/upcoming weekend.

We went and had lunch, the girls got Subway(this is Haley's latest craving). Than the 4 of us went to the movie Shrek 2 & loved every minute of it. After this we ran home to get ready for the 1st softball game. For those of you who don't know, the girls LOVE softball. Hanna had a wonderful time with her team & enjoys staying after her game to watch Haley & play with her friends:) Haley was a little nervous, but she did WONDERFUL!!! This girl is such a SuperStar-let me tell you, if you didn't know her & know what was going on,I don't think you would. She made the 1st 2 outs of the game, getting a grounder & throwing the girl out at first, than followed that play with a pop-fly catch. It was truly amazing to watch her, the spirit & determination within these children is truly an eye-opener.

So needless to say we turned what could have been a real crappy day into what I call one of the BEST as a family.

Thank You so much to the Firth Softball Coaches, Players & Parents for showing Haley such a huge support group-we love you guys!!! Thank you so much for the Wonderful Banner made:) Haley had SO much fun last night & gets to play another game on Monday the 31st.

Happy Early Birthday to Grandpa Dale tomorrow!!! I/we hope your day is Special just like you are!!

Lots of Love to all of our CaringBridge family/friends-may each day you be Blessed & know that we Pray for you all!

Love,
Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

Here is a poem I got from another Wilm's Childs page.

Parents Poem

Mothers, touch your children,
Fathers, hug them tight.
Let them know you love them,
morning, noon and night.

Pur your arms around them,
hold them near to you,
Feel the beating of their hearts,
the life that you made new.

Roll around the floor with them,
tease, and laugh, and play.
Listen to what they tell you,
they have so much to say.

Take time to get to know them,
see the colors in their eyes.
Appreciate that person,
that deep inside them lies.

Let them run their fingers
in your hair and down your face.
Fill their hearts with words of praise,
make home their favorite place.

Cuddle with them on the couch
and watch a TV show.
Sing with them or share a book,
and help their world to grow.

Take a walk into the park,
hold each other's hand.
Smell the flowers, feed the ducks,
build castles in the sand.

Mothers, touch your children,
Fathers, hold them tight,
Show them what a gift they are,
to love them feels so right.

Author~unknown

Wednesday, May 26, 2004 12:02 AM CDT

Hi friends & family!!! A quick update on Haley~she had to get a Platlet transfusion the other day(this is the 5th one in 2 weeks) & will go back tomorrow to get labs & see where her counts are. We are 2 weeks behind right now on getting our next round of Chemo, so let's hope that her counts start climbing quickly!!!

Haley & Hanna are having lots of fun being out of school. They are still very concerned for all their friends and neighbors that have lost their houses & belongings.

We would like to send our thoughts out to all of our Caringbridge family members, sorry we haven't been able to stop in and visit lately. Please know that we pray daily & think of you all often.

We will update on Haley's counts and we will try to get pictures out here of the graduation. As well, if Haley's counts are high enough she will be able to play her 1st softball game tomorrow-weather permitting.

God Bless you all
Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna too

Monday, May 24, 2004 5:30 AM CDT

Haley is doing okay, she will go for counts
today....I will update more later, Haley & Hanna both had classmates that we injured in a wreck last Wednesday & we continue to pray for their family. Haley's 5th grade graduation went well-So very Proud of her & all of her friends-such a Great class of children. Who would have known that Thursday evening would have been the last time those children would get to stand in the Auditorium of their school...See the note below~

Please~Please~Please pray for the community that we live in, they have been hit by several tornadoes and several family/friends have lost their homes. So many people who have had their lives flipped upside down overnight.

The school that this Norris community attends is gone and they are now indicating that more storms will come through again tonight.....To everyone in our community who has helped us the past 9 months, I wish there is more we could do for you all!! We Love You very much:)

To all of our Wilm's Family/Friends we hope that each of you are doing well & Please know even if we haven't signed lately~we are always thinking & Praying for you!!

God Bless
Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

Monday, May 24, 2004 5:30 AM CDT

Haley is doing okay, she will go for counts today....Please~Please~Please pray for the community that we live in, they have been hit by several tornadoes and several family/friends have lost their homes. So many people who have had their lives flipped upside down overnight. They are indicating that more storms will come through again tonight.....To everyone in our community who has helped us the past 9 months, I wish there is more we could do for you all!! We Love You very much:)

To all of our Wilm's Family/Friends we hope that each of you are doing well & Please know any if we haven't signed lately~we are always thinking & Praying for you!!

God Bless
Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

Tuesday, May 18, 2004 5:34 AM CDT

Haley went and got her counts done yesterday with Kevin & she needed to get Platlets(So that turned into a whole day event). We talked with the Clinic & Anisa made Haley so Happy:) by telling us Haley is ok to go on her fieldtrip with friends today & she will be able to go to her 5th Grade Graduation on Thursday!!!!! Anisa Bigs Hugs from Haley to you:)

The last day of school will be this Friday & than let the summer begin. The girls-mainly Hanna are so ready for that!!! Hanna will become a 4th grader & Haley will move up to middle school & become a 6th grader~we are so proud of both of you girls!!! We love you both very much:)

Good Luck to all of our Wilm's buddies who are getting there scans today & anytime real soon-we hope that you are blessed with positive news!!! As well Congrats to all of you who have had your scans & they have come back positive-we are so proud of you all:)

We will get new pictures out here this week & update as the week goes along. God Bless you and your families!!!

Patti

**Quick update Haley had a wonderful time on her fieldtrip & loved being at school with all her friends!!!

We are so glad to say that our friend Josh had scans and they came back Good at this point...Thanks for all the extra prayers. Continue to say prayers for all children who are dealing with a Childhood Caner.

We will be updating on the Relay for Life that will be coming to Lincoln in July!!! We need lots of support*

Relay for Life this year will be held at the Haymarket Park July 9-10, 2004. "There is no finish line until we find a cure" HOPE is Lincoln's Reason to Relay, this is an Overnight Team Event to Fight Cancer....We are looking to form a team for Haley to raise money for the American Cancer Society, if you are interested in being a member please email us or if you would like to donate please let us know an amount is wonderful!! I think that the team name will be "Haley's Hero's"!!! So many people have helped along the way & this is a way that we feel we can try to give back some. Thanks Again
Patti

Friday, May 14, 2004 10:57 PM CDT

**Update as of May 15th....We are home today!!! Haley's counts have come up enough that her Dr. felt it would do her good to come home for awhile!! She is feeling pretty crazy most of the time:) Like right now as she is looking over my shoulder being silly:) Haley made her doctor a Red/White & Blue bracket today, we hope that he likes it-she tied it on him before he left the room!!

It is so nice to have the 4 of us all together at home again....that is one of the hardest things is to have us all split up.

Sorry for the delay in updating. For some reason we couldn't get the computer to work until tonight. Haley is doing pretty good, she has had 2 units of RBC and 2 units of Platlets, the last ones being yesterday(her Platlets fell down to 17). She is getting along real well & doing lots of crafts!! I had almost forgot to give her a gift from someone at my work & got it out today for her....Well what can I say she hasn't put this gift down!! It is what some would say "nasty"-it's a squishy eye with a very thoughtful note attached referring to this NASTY thing called CANCER!!! Haley sends a Huge Thank You to Squishy eyed Joe:)

Her counts did improve over night some, but we will wait and see what tomorrow brings. She was able to go downstairs to watch a performance by some dancers-this was real nice and she made her own salad from the salad bar in the cafeteria earlier. She thinks that salad bar ROCKS!!!

Hanna & Haley were able to decorate the windows in our room & just so Hanna knows we have had lots of compliments on her dog she put on the window...you are an artist Hanna:)

Haley has been preparing herself for softball, she has eaten a whole bag of seeds this past week:) Kinda funny some of the things that she gets stuck on eating....I know I have told people that her cravings change like the weather.

Haley's room sits over the top of the helicopter pad, yesterday after they brought someone in-Haley stood in her window & waved at them...they did see her & waved back. We have never had to use the helicopter ourself but want to say a Big Thank You to those people as well, they truly make a difference.

Tonight Haley was napping when one of her favorite CCP came by to tell her Good-Bye, she will be traveling a little by going to Chicago & New York to work for a while, we wish Katie the Best of Luck, they are Lucky to have her coming their way. Haley was able to see a Big firework display, we believe that they must have had them over at the Royals baseball game!! Cool stuff-we want this room for 4th of July!!!

We will close by sending a early Birthday wish to Haley's Aunt Theresa & her very close buddies, Kody & Jami!! We hope that you all enjoy your special days coming up.....As well Thank You to all of you who continue to stop in and check on Haley's progress & for those of you who donate blood & Platlets~ You make a difference in so many lives.

God Bless you all everyday
Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

Tuesday, May 11, 2004 10:46 PM CDT

Haley's counts this morning indicated that her ANC was at at big whopping 1....Yes a 1, if you think about that she can either drop to 0 or start climbing let's hope she starts climbing. The fever has stayed away for 1 day now, which is good. Haley & Dad have been hangin' out together up there at the hospital, while Hanna & Mom have been home. Tomorrow Hanna is taking mom on a fieldtrip(should be loads of fun). Than we head up to see Haley and Dad.

I had received very special Mother's Day cards/letters from both of my daughters & I want to tell them "Thank You for making your mommy the LUCKIEST woman!!!" Hanna gave me a very colorful card(hand made) that says "with love your baby"....and Haley wrote me a poem which I would like to share with you all....

Mom's
Mom's are like clouds
On a calm summer day
Mom's are like wind
On a slow winter night
Mom's are like birds
Chirpping in the summer
Mom's are like nurses
Who take care of you when your hurt
Mom's are like doctors
Who know how to treat everything
But Mom's are still people
Like you and me
Mom's

Happy Mother's Day

I hope that Haley & Hanna don't care that I shared this, but just one of those things that make you SO very proud to say you are a mommy to such beautiful young girls!!! I LOVE you both.

We don't get the chance to Thank all the nurses and staff at Children's as much as we would like so we wanted to make sure and include them tonight as we do every night when we pray. Thanks as well to all of our friends/family etc. from all over. We have made so many friends with other families all over the country that are going through what we are & it helps so much to be able to communicate with each other-Thanks to all of you Wilm's family members out there.

Haley & I will update from the hospital within the next couple days.

Thanks for stopping by & signing Haley's journal-she has lots of fun reading them all....:)
Patti

Sunday, May 9, 2004 2:44 PM CDT

**Quick update as of May 10th...Haley is feeling lots better & has been fever free for 1/2 the day so far. Mom is headed back to be with Hanna & go to work on Tuesday. Hanna gets to take Mom on a fieldtrip on Wednesday and than Mom & Dad will switch places again. We haven't heard back on the Cultures yet, but when we do we will update. Thanks for all your supporting words and comfort!!!**

Let me start by saying that I lost my sister Tammy age 40 2 years ago today and my Aunt Maggie 9 years ago today and now we are being tested with your strength in harming our daughter!!! Please stop, CANCER SUCKS and we need to cure this sickness.....

Please read on for an update on Haley......

Haley had her counts done on Thursday and was lower than she has ever been. She had 2 blood transfusions on Thursday and Platlets on Friday. She didn't have much of an appetite on Saturday and started running a fever at 11:30 when we were going to bed. Her temp was at 101.7 and when a child has low blood counts you must call there doctor when there temp reaches 100.5. When we called in we were told to head to Childrens-Haley was being admitted. Her fever got as high as 103 over night and we got her to bed around 2:30. They have drawn several samples of blood and will verify what it is she has-but at this point she has an infection of some kind within.

They are getting her ready to give her 2 more units of blood today and have her on IV antibiotics and fluids. I know that I'm missing alot of the detail, but I need to get back up there with them. As of this morning it sounds like she could be here for 2-3 weeks-who knows!!

Please PRAY...PRAY....PRAY!!

Thanks to all we will update as soon as we can.

God Bless everyone
Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

Friday, May 7, 2004 5:02 AM CDT

Quick update on Haley and her counts....She is rock bottom and needed to get 2 blood transfusions yesterday and goes back for Platlets today. She/we have to be so careful since her body has no way of fighting off infections.

With Haley's counts being low we will not get to spend time with our Mother's on Sunday as a family. But want to take this time to tell them both how very much we LOVE them. Thanks Grandmas for all you do for our family. As for all of our friends/family who stop by to check in on Haley's progress and are reading this right now....Happy Mother's Day to all of you.

That's all for now, I need to leave my sweetie girls at home with Dad and head to work. Lots of Thanks to everyone:)

To all of Haley's friends from school, she will probably not be able to come to much more school throughout this year & will be moving up to middle school next year, she misses being with all of you & would love to hear from you more often...she is just a phone call away & sometimes is able to go do things if you want(hint..hint)!!!

Patti

What Cancer Cannot Do

Cancer is so limited....
It cannot cripple Love
It cannot shatter Hope
It cannot corrode Faith
It cannot destroy Peace
It cannot kill Friendship
It cannot suppress Memories
It cannot silence Courage
It cannot invade the Soul
It cannot steal Eternal Life
It cannot conquer the Spirit

Monday, May 3, 2004 10:04 PM CDT

Hi everybody its me Haley. I got back from my Chemo treatment. My mom stayed with me when I was there and my dad stayed with Hanna. I got to do lots of crafts, I like to paint things when I'm there. We made May Day baskets for the nurses and I got to give one to a little girl who was staying in a room by mine. Hanna brought me a basket when her and Dad came to pick us up on Saturday. That's all for now. I'm feeling ok. Bye Haley

Sorry for not updating once we got up to our room. Once they start Haley's chemo up things get pretty busy. She did a very good job tolerating her treatment. The first 4 to 5 days seem to be real rough on her system, but somehow she gets the strength to keep smiling:) As of today her counts are pretty much where we would expect them to be. We will go back in probably on Thursday. She has started to eat a little bit more & actually keep it in. Thanks Haley~your body loves you for being so tough!!!!

Hanna had her first night of softball practice tonight, so we caught the tail end of her practice(looks good girls). Haley's team wasn't starting till later, so we choose to come home tonight....we will see what her counts tell us on Thursday & if she is able we will let her go play a little catch with her team:)

**Just a couple quick notes...We couldn't possibly Thank everything enough & without forgetting someone I almost don't want to go into names.....but to name a few people/organizations-Norris school/community of people who live near us, My work-wonderful people who just recently had a food drive to go along with other collections!!! Hamilton College, Grandma's & Grandpa's work, the community of Waverly, all our relatives some close by & others spread out throughout this state and many others....so many different fundraisers from so many different people!! Everyone at Children's hospital:) This is just to name a few....We couldn't do it without all of you.
The family of Wilm's and other families fighting a Childhood illness-that we communicate with so much for advice.

To all of Haley's friends from school, she will probably not be able to come to much more school throughout this year & will be moving up to middle school next year, she misses being with all of you & would love to hear from you more often...she is just a phone call away & sometimes is able to go do things if you want(hint..hint)!!!

God Bless you all & your families-love for today & build memories for tomorrow!!

Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

**Update as of May 5th**
Haley is doing well & we will get her counts done tomorrow. But I type this entry to ask for your help. A Wilm's family member has earned his wings as a Very Special Angel & I ask that you take the time to pray for his family. His website is www.caringbridge.org/ky/mason_d. If you get the chance please drop them a note of support!!!! Thanks to Mason's whole family for always stopping by to check on Haley & for leaving lots of Hugs & Kisses for us!!!
Thanks
Patti

Thursday, April 29, 2004 11:57 AM CDT

Hey everyone, we are being admitted today. Haley's count were not all that high, but just high enough. We are waiting to go upstairs to our room for 3 days. The hospital is very full so we don't get our pick of a room this time-so we have a room with little windows(yuck).....Haley's nurse Anisa made her day by telling Haley there will be no extra pokes this time:) HUGE hug from Haley!!!

Kevin plans to go back & stay with Hanna for the next couple days. Hanna is in the middle of her CAT test at school~Good Luck Sweetie, mom & Haley will miss you over the next couple of days!!

We will update from our room later. Thanks for stopping by and don't forget 2 things.....Sign Haley's guestbook & Continue to Pray!!!!!

Lots of Love
Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

Monday, April 26, 2004 7:12 PM CDT

**New pictures are here!!! Make sure and refresh your screen to get them to come up**

Hey everybody it is me Haley and I wanted to tell you I feel very good. I will go in to Saint E's hospital on Wednesday to see my counts to see if I can have Chemo Thursday. I'm going to school tomorrow and Wednesday maybe. Thanks for signing my guestbook, I like to read what everyone has to say. Bye Haley

Hi everyone, a quick update on Haley. Kevin took her today to get her counts & she is still too low for treatment. We will go back again Wednesday-Please pray for her counts to come up, she needs to get started on her next round of Chemo, it has been 2 months since last treatment. We don't want this stuff to get out of hand & start growing.

We will update this site on Wednesday to let you know what's going on next.

To all our friends at my work & surrounding community friends-Thank You SO much for everything, you make this tough road so much easier on us.

To all of our Wilm's & other Cancer Kids friends/family....Be strong & know that we pray for you all daily:)

God Bless
Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

**Update as of Tuesday morning. Haley kinda had a rough night started complaining of side pain & got sick throughout the night. She will be staying home instead of going to school, we just can't afford her to catch anything addt'l from school that would keep her from starting her next round of Chemo whenever that might be.

Wednesday, April 21, 2004 10:45 PM CDT

Thanks for stopping by and checking in on Haley & her progress. We were not able to start Chemo this week due to Haley's counts being too low-her Platlets are the main reason she is not able to start. So we will wait till Monday go to Lincoln & get labs drawn to see where they are at..if they are high enough we will get to start Chemo, if they are not high enough Dr. G said he's not sure what will due. So please pray that they bounce up over the next 5 days. We have all kinda had the flu of some kind in our house & mom stayed home 1 more day today. Hope that tomorrow is a better one:)

Haley has gotten a little more of an appetite lately, still she has a long way to go, but believe me after you watch these kids go for what seems like days without eating or drinking much- a little seems like ALOT!!!

We did have to stay around to talk with Dr. Gnarra about her scans they ran. Of course we had terrible luck with getting the IV to work (couldn't find a good vein-so lots of tears & lots of poking). Haley hasn't had very good luck with this lately, her veins seems to run & hide when it's time for an IV. Than comes the time for that nasty drink called contrast:( For those families who go through this I know that you know what I'm talking about. The kids have so much time to drink-in Haley's case 2 glasses of this contrast mixed with apple juice & guess what everytime she gets SICK. But as the Dr. says the scans turned out clear...but that of course they can see more spots on her Liver than what they have been able to see. So I guess you can say, when it rains it pours.....But guess what it can just keep raining hard, cuz we are going to keep fighting & ya know who will come out winning-That's right Haleygirl:)

We will update at the start of next week & let everyone know if we get to start Chemo. As always Thanks for your support & prayers-they will get us where we need to go. Please don't forget about all our Wilm's friends all over, it just sucks to know that there are so many children that are fighting right now.

Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna too

Tuesday, April 20, 2004 10:08 AM CDT

Hey everyone we are up here at the hospital to get counts, scans & probably admitted for Chemo today. Haley started to come around from the side effects on late Saturday/Sunday. She had been getting sick everyday & didn't want to eat or drink much of anything. She was able to go to her God's Kids Celebration-The Hoe Down, it was SO windy!! Hanna & Haley had a nice time going for a hayrack ride & guess what Haley ate some chicken that night & it stayed in:) This was the start of something big!!

Haley received a scrapbook from her friends at Hamilton College with lots of pictures from the events that they have held for her. As well Tina delivered some signed CD's & poster/pictures from Toby Keith!! Haley thought is was real cool!!

We will update sometime later to let you know what the scans say & if she is being admitted for Chemo. Dad & Mom have both been fighting this cold thing so one of us might go back home to be with Hanna. Just a quick note on Hanna she is doing real good & being a Huge help to us. She will be done with 3rd grade before we know it!!! Thanks Sweetie for hangin tough-we love you:)

I will end by Thanking you all for everything you continue to do for our family & by Blessing Haley & her strength to continue to head forward & not look back-You are Brave sweetheart~We love you:)

Lots of Prayers & Happy Thoughts continue to go to each of our Wilm's buddies in all states(Ne,Mn,Tx,In,Il,Ky,Sc,Wi,Canada & over seas-just to name of few of the states). Be tough kids!!

Patti

Wednesday, April 14, 2004 8:52 PM CDT

Thanks for stopping by and visiting Haley's website. As of today Haley has had her last radiation treatment:) Yeah Haley!!! We are so very proud of you!! We were originally scheduled to have 4 weeks of radiation but the doctors do not feel that her Liver could handle the original amount of radiation. She did really well up till last week than the side affects started to kick in. She did have a Wonderful 11th Birthday & Super Easter! We pretty much just stayed together as a family, seen a movie "Home on the Range" and tried to get Haley to eat whatever she wanted. The side affects from the radiation kept us from really getting to go anywhere and Celebrate with family for Easter. They had a Pancake Feed on Easter morning with the funds being raised going to Haley. Thank You SO much for this wonderful donation.

We all went and met with Dr. Gnarra and Dr. Saxton on Tuesday for her check up & talked with them about where we are headed next. When Dr. Saxton released Haley from the hospital on March 21st after her surgery...Haley & Hanna played on trick on him & switched in bed. Dad & Mom tucked Hanna's hair up in a hat and covered her up with Haley's blanket-Man oh Man did we get him good:) He was so ready to get the girls back on Tuesday...I think he won't forget that for awhile. After the doctors visits & radiation treatment we stopped and played Putt-Putt golf, the girls had a wonderful time doing this.

Today Kevin & Haley went to a couple lakes to try and go fishing, but come up empty handed-Maybe next time you two!! Kevin took her for her last treatment and Mom came home to meet Hanna:) We actually tried to catch a little family time at the house tonight, unlike the past 3 weeks-being on the road to and from the hospital everyday.

Haley will be starting her next cycle of Chemo soon and will be there for 3 days and receiving 3 of her Chemo drugs at once. She has had all of these drugs, just not all at one time. We will have CT scans ran on Tuesday to let Dr. G know where everything stands at this point.

As always Thanks to everyone of you for your continued support through all of this. Continue to Pray for Haley & her recovery from this nasty thing called CANCER.

To all of our Wilm's Family Friends, Continue to be strong & know that you are all in our thoughts and prayers daily!!

Tuesday, April 6, 2004 10:01 PM CDT

Sorry for the delay in updating. We have had a pretty smooth last week and actually have had lots of FUN!!! Haley seems to be doing real well with her radiation and gets to attend school too!!

Last week after one of Haley's radiation treatments we stopped off at a park and the girls had lots of fun:) After just one week of driving to and from everyday...believe me it gets old in a hurry!!

Saturday Haley was able to attend the Benefit in Waverly put on by Hamilton College!!! It was such a Blast. Everyone did such a wonderful job to make it run so smoothly and so many people came to support Haley & our family....Haley stayed the whole time. Hanna & Haley had lots of fun that night. A HUGE Thank You to everyone at Hamilton College who put sooooo much into this & Thanks to all the family & friends who helped make this a success!!!

Haley is working on her last week of being 10 years old....she turns 11 years old on Saturday April 10th~so if you get a chance Please wish her a Happy~Happy Birthday!!!
Once again, Thank you everyone for being a huge part of our everyday life:)

God Bless all our Wilm's Buddies and their fight against this nasty beast. Keep strong and never give up!! Brooke & Darby, Kevin & Haley enjoyed seeing you at the Clinic today-Keep smilin'. Josh we hope all is going well with you and your family:)

Wednesday, March 31, 2004 2:57 PM CST

We started Radiation yesterday!! Haley was very nervous going into this therefore about 5 minutes after she was done she got sick:( Last night she got lots of sleep which made her feel a little stronger about today.

Kevin & Haley picked Hanna up from school and I met them to come to the Clinic first than we will head over to Methodist for her 2nd treatment of Radiation. Dr Gnarra was very glad to see Haley today-they have a Wonderful relationship and she truly appreciates everything he does for her/us!!! Hanna and Haley played some games at the Clinic today and Haley had a Juice Stop juice for lunch(better than nothing).

Haley will be coming up to Omaha Monday-Friday for treatments for 4 weeks. She will have a check-up at the Clinic every Tuesday so that they can monitor her counts.

There is going to be a Huge Benefit for Haley this Saturday April 3rd in Waverly at the Waverly Foundation put on by all our Friends at Hamilton College!!! These guys have been doing so much to raise money to help Haley & her family out!!! I hope Haley is feeling good enough to go, if not Hanna is looking so forward to this day.

Thanks to everyone for stopping by and visiting Haley's sight..Thank you for signing her guestbook, she loves to read these. Continue to pray for Haley, Josh, Brooke and all of the other children within our Wilm's Family.

God Bless
Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna too:)

Sunday, March 28, 2004 9:31 PM CST

Hi Everyone! Just a quick update on Haley and the next steps. We went to Omaha on Wednesday and Thursday for scans, simulation for radiation and consultation. Haley did a real great job for them. We will find out more on Monday as to when she starts radiation, it will most likely be Tuesday or Wednesday. Due to the cancer on her Liver she will have to take a total of 4 weeks Monday-Friday of radiation in Omaha. Once she has completed this, they will start her on a total of 18 more weeks/6 cycles of Chemo. If you do the calculation this will take Haley all the way through her summer. Haley LOVES softball so I know it will be very hard for her to not get to play as much, you notice I say as much....I'm sure she will be out there doing the best she can do(this gives her and Hanna some great times together). As well she might help her Coach Kristi assist another team if possible:)

Haley got to go to school on Friday and Saturday Hanna and Haley went to the Scooby Doo movie with friends Jami, Kody & Keri!!! (Thanks guys).

We will update after we find out more tomorrow-until than Please continue to pray for Haley and her friends Brooke & Josh!!!

Thanks so much for all the continued support:)
Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

Tuesday, March 23, 2004 10:35 PM CST

Haley is doing better by the day. We are headed for Omaha tomorrow for scans and radiation consultation. Haley could be starting radiation as soon as Monday, but we will know more as the week goes along.

We will update more later. Thanks for all your continued support and prayers. Please continue to pray for Haley as well as her friends Josh & Brooke.

**Thanks to Hanna for being such a huge helper to Mom & Dad and for being a wonderful sister to Haley:) We love you Hanna!!!**

Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

Sunday, March 21, 2004 6:14 PM CST

Wow what a wonderful couple days! Haley had several visitors on Saturday which puts a smile on her face. Haley never seems to amaze us, she set herself a goal yesterday to walk 1 mile which is 11 laps around the 6th floor of the hospital in which she stays. This may not sound like much, but considering she only had surgery 5 days ago we think this is pretty awesome! It took all day and she is still very sore and tired from her surgery but as you all know by now Haley never ever gives up and she finally met her goal at about 9:00 p.m. Saturday night. She continues to constantly dig deep within herself to fight this terrible disease. We as her parents are so blessed to have such a strong little girl like her.

But for now we still have an uphill climb, Haley's pathology results came back and we were hoping for total removal of the tumor(Right Kidney) and the surrounding infected areas. The bad news is they were only able to remove about 90% of the active tumor(the whole Right Kidney) and some surrounding Lymph nodes. They also had to split her Vena Cava from her pelvis to the bottom of her heart to scrape and remove blood clot and spreading tumor. The surgeon says he wouldn't be surprised if the Vena Cava clots back up again in a couple of weeks but at this time he is not concerned with that. She still has active Wilms Tumor in her Liver and surrounding Lymph nodes. We were hoping what the scans showed was scar tissue. The next plan of attack at this time is to have radiation and then follow up with more Chemotherapy. We have had some luck with the Chemo but they think radiation is the next step since she has not had that yet. They are still researching to see what the best route will be. This is a huge set back for us but we still have hope at this time.

Keep praying for Haley and her friends Brooke & Josh.
We would like to Thank everybody for their support it is such a huge part of Haley's recovery and we could not get through this without you!!

Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

Thursday, March 18, 2004 8:03 AM CST

Ok I tried this yesterday and lost everything I typed. Sorry for the delay in getting the news out to everyone....Monday was a VERY long day and night that spilled over into Tuesday. As of yesterday Haley was feeling a little better she was actually able to get up and sit in a chair 3 times as well she walked twice-which may not sound like much, but believe me~that's alot of work for her. She continues to make us so proud with her positive attitude.

Monday started early for us, we needed to be here at 7:00 and they came took Haley to head into surgery at around 9:15. They had orginally told us anywhere from 5-6 hours and that turned into 10 hours of surgery. This was very hard for all of us. They were able to remove 90f Haley's largest tumor(Right Kidney) and the surrounding lymph nodes. They then moved on to her Vena Cava artery which is the main artery feeding her heart, they went in a removed all the Thrombosis and tumor located inside of it.

They also had to take a biopsy of her liver, they were hoping that some spots there were scar tissue, but they turned out to be actually active tumor growth. So this of course is a huge concern, but somehow we will deal with it as they get actual results this week.

She is getting stronger like I said each day and is such a HUGE inspiration to us.

We want to Thank everyone for all they have done for our whole family!! The surgeons did a wonderful job staying at her side throughout the whole day Monday and continue to follow up on her.

We will type more later, please continue to Pray for Haley & family as well Brooke our friend who is here since her counts are not bouncing back after her last treatment & Josh our buddy who is also here, they recently found another mass and Josh is having to go back in for a surgery to remove this.

Love,
Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

Saturday, March 13, 2004 8:01 AM CST

Wow~ We had such a Wonderful Day Friday. Let me tell you how it started (very early) we got up at 4:30 and took off to head to Omaha for a MRA scan. Haley hadn't had to have one of these yet, so she had to lie real still for about 45 minutes, Kevin went in with her and said she did real well!! Hanna waited patiently eating a donut and coloring in the waiting room with mom. Since we know that we are going to be spending so much time at Children's over the next several weeks, you couldn't stop us from running out the door when we were finished.

I want to add a note in from the hospital, when Hanna was getting her donut we ran into the Brestels-Josh is Haley buddy that has Wilm's as well. We first met Josh & his family shortly after Haley was diagnosed. He is such a strong, but as we refer to him as "funny little Josh"!! Josh was being admitted to Children's after being at the hospital over night. This was such a let down, because Josh was to have his last treatment and be leaving for his Wonderful Make A Wish Trip on the 21st of this month. PLEASE PLEASE pray for Josh & his family-I talked with his Dad last night and they have had a long day and sounds like be there throughout the weekend.

Now onto the day that we had once we got back from the hospital......Haley was picked up at the front door by a 28 seat White Hummer Limo!!!!!!! She was truly in shock and if you can believe Hanna held this secret since earlier in the week(Thanks Hanna). All 4 of us got in and made a quick trip through our big/very little town. Haley thought she would like to have one of these for a birthday party-Well guess what???? We drove about 4 blocks and noticed a couple of Haley's friends(Jami & Kody), wow we said "I wonder what they are doing here??". Than we stopped to visit someone else and Haley was surprised by several friends who came out SINGING HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Since Haley is going in for surgery and her birthday will come and go, we wanted to do something very special for her while she was feeling so good! Hanna's friend Kinslie joined Hanna.

We had a wonder ride to Lincoln, cruised for 2 hours everywhere....Everyone had Sprakling wine, ice cream sandwiches & waved to every person in Lincoln we seen!! I'm glad most people were good sports & played along(honking and waving)...All the kids had a great time & us parents too:) We than took them all to South Pointe to see the movie "50 first dates" which turned out to be very good, took a tour of the Theatre and they all got treat bags, popcorn & pop. All in All it was a day that started very early ended late but was a BLAST!!!!! I will get several pictures out here before we go to the hospital.

Thanks so much to everyone who helped make this happen...Friends at State Farm, VIP Limo(did great), Douglas Theatre was wonderful to us.

Please continue to pray for Haley as she is headed for a major surgery Monday morning!!! As well Hanna to be strong & help her sister & parents out:) And do not forget about Josh, Brooke(who we have met from Omaha) and all the other Wilm's kids out there fighting hard!!

Thanks Everyone
Kevin, Patti, Haley & Hanna

Monday, March 8, 2004 8:34 PM CST

Hi Everybody~This is Haley and they rescheduled my surgery and it will be on Monday March 15 to bad it could not be on Friday or Wednesday. I had a pj party today day and it was vvvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyy fun. Thanks for coming into my web page. Haley :)

Can you say Frustration?? That is what we are feeling right now... We have been waiting & waiting for Haley's surgery & they were trying to get her in on March 10th or 12th and now they have bumped her due to double scheduling of the Operating Room. I won't type much since it has been a very hard day, I guess there is nothing at this point that we can do or say expect to make the Very Best of each day with our Wonderful little girls:) Somehow everyday Haley & Hanna give us the strength to see the very best of each day & to come home to them is the BEST feeling in the world.

Thanks goes out to each of you for being such a huge part of our family & all the support, everyday seems to have some type of a road block for us....But we know that the sun will come up tomorrow & we WILL be blessed with 2 smiling faces:)

God Bless to each of you & your families!!

Tuesday, March 2, 2004 7:30 PM CST

Hi Everybody
I'm doing GREAT. I am getting to go to school this week and maybe some of next week!!! I don't know if my mom told you but I am haveing surgery on the 12 of March I'm so excited. But I am just a little scared to go into surgery. :( But it has to be done so I have to deal with it. I'll try to update before I go into surgery. It will take about 5-6 hours. ( That is along time. ) :) Well Bye for now.
Haley

Saturday, February 28, 2004 9:14 PM CST

Hey Everyone, we have a date!!!!!! Yeah-Haley is going in for surgery on Friday March 12th. We are so ready to get to this point, so that we can move forward to the next stages. Haley is feeling real well right now, she went to Hanna's last Basketball game today & brought their team Good Luck-they won!!!

We are hopeful that the next 2 weeks before surgery, that Haley will be able to go to school to be we all her friends!!! I know she is ready for that:)

Haley's surgeon is on vacation next week(well deserved time off). But we will update as we know more about the surgery. We do know that Dr. Saxton will be able to perform this surgery at Children's, which is Super-since Haley is so comfortable there & so many of the nurses & Child Life Specialist there know her real well-this should help with the recovery!!

Thanks for all the prayers & thoughts. Don't forget to sign Haley's guestbook!!!

**Things don't happen to people~People happen to things!**
God Bless
The Mathis Family

Tuesday, February 24, 2004 9:28 PM CST

Were back. Sorry we haven't updated. Haley had scans last Friday, which indicated that the tumor on her right kidney has shrunk a little more but that the tumor in her Vena Cava hasn't changed any again. I guess our main goal was to keep the cancer from growing, so we were pleased to see that something was still getting smaller. The weekend brought a cold for Hanna, which hasn't been any fun and hard on everyone. We got her in and got her on some medicines.

Kevin took Haley for her counts today and her WBC is coming back up with her Neupagen shots, her Hemaglobin and Platlets are on there way down. She will go back Thursday to get counts again. When checking in with the Clinic, Anisa told us that Dr. Saxton & Dr. G had both talked and said that Haley is ready for surgery within the next 1-2 weeks. It will depend on her counts and when they get her team of surgeons together. So as in the past we ask that you pray for a safe & successful surgery for Haley and for any other children out there that are going through something like Haley is.

Will update later in the week, sorry I do have pictures I just haven't been able to get them out here-without them being huge:) I'll keep trying.

**Hope is that one single star-we can always find in a dark and cloudy sky**

Wednesday, February 18, 2004 9:18 PM CST

Were back Everyone! Haley had her 5 day treatment and came home on Sunday. She had a nice Valentine's Day and got visited by a local Omaha radio station 101.9 who delivered Valentine cards from Elementary school children(she received 55 total). Haley was interviewed by Fox 42 news and they had her on t.v. Friday night. She looked like a SuperStar!!! What do I mean??? She is a SuperStar:) She got lots of goodies from some of her nurses and friends:) This always makes her smile..

Treatments went okay and she is doing very well at home this time. Still has her SUPER personality and is SO glad to be back home with Hanna. We missed having Hanna with us when we were at the hospital, but she had lots of fun where she was at.

We visited with Haley's surgeon Dr. Saxton who had just gotten back from being with his mother who was having a surgery. Sounds like she is doing pretty good, we are very Thankful for that!!! Dr. Gnarra who is Haley's oncologist was the inpatient Dr. this week, so he was blessed with seeing one of his favorite little ladies:) We hadn't seen Dr. G since December, he was on vacation for 3 weeks than had to leave town due to the loss of his mother. We are sure glad he is back:)

On Tuesday Anisa from Clinic called and stated that Dr. Saxton wants Haley to come back up on Friday for scans. When we visited with him, he had stated that they must do a bypass of Haley's heart due to the Tumor that is located in the Vena Cava located at the base of her heart. They will have a heart specialist, liver specialist and her surgeons on hand that we know of. I'm sure once Friday is here we will find out much more.

Continue to pray for Haley & all her friends who are struggling with some form of illness and the WONDERFUL Doctors & Nurses who work so hard each day to make our children's life longer, happier & healthier.

**Children give us reason to believe. Through their eyes we realize the divine capacity of the human heart.**

Wednesday, February 11, 2004 5:48 PM CST

Hi Everyone! Well as some of you know we didn't get great results for surgery. We had been waiting since her last set of scans on the surgeons who we had trouble tracking down. Dr Saxton which is Haley's surgeon has been out, but I finally I talked with one of the other surgeons here who works with him. The other 2 surgeons were planning on doing Haley's surgery this Friday until they seen her scans!! She is not the normal Wilm's surgery they said. Hers will be much more complicated than the usual. So at this point we are having to go back to a 5 day treatment of Chemo. This is to hopefully prevent the cancer from growing while we get everything else in order for a surgery maybe next month now.

We came up this morning after Kevin took Hanna to school, she will be staying with her 1st grade teacher Mrs. Savage & her family:) Haley had labs drawn and of course her Hemoglobin is at 8.4 so after her treatments are done today and she has had some IV fluids ran through her, she will be getting 2 more units of blood probably around 12-1 this morning running for 4 hours(so you can imagine how long this night is going to be). Haley has had to date with these 2 units of blood a total of 10 units. We want to take a minute to Thank everyone who donates blood we now have seen the reality of how important this is!!!

Haley is in real good spirits as of today, we kinda know what the rest of the week/weekend will bring. Her nurse Kim is here on 6th floor with her today, but will be gone the rest of the week. She has been in the hospital for every holiday since she was diagnosed.

I know she wants me to send a Special Valentine Wish out to all her friends & family as well as the many other children out there who are battling some form of illness. Of course she doesn't ever forget about all her Doctors & Nurses who care so much for her:)

One last note Haley now has an online quilt that was made for her....Please make sure to stop by and view it or add to it if you wish!!!! It is listed below on her addt'l links, but here it is http://smilequilts.com/haley.html

Will update later this week!!! Thanks for all your support and prayers

**Faith is the silent caretaker of our dreams...**

Monday, February 9, 2004 6:39 PM CST

Hi Everyone! Just a quick update on where we are at right now.....Can any of you guess?? That's right...just waiting!!! Haley's surgeon has left town and will not be back until Thursday, so at this point we have NO idea what is next or what they are planning on. Her Oncologist our pushing for the surgery to remove the right kidney(Nephrectomy). Let me tell you this waiting game isn't any fun.

No school for the girls today so Hanna went with Haley and got Haley's counts at St. E's, they seemed very low to us, since she hasn't had treatment for over 3 weeks now. Her WBC was at 2.8, Hemoglobin at 9.2 and Platlets at 199, but they reassured us that everything is ok since her ANC(Absolute neutrophil count) is high enough-this # indicates the childs ability to fight infection. So I guess to make it easier on all of us~Haley will be going to school for the next couple days, to avoid the constant worry about when is she going in!!!

Over the weekend Haley was the Beneficiary of a local run/walk called the "Animal Race". Due to the cold weather and not knowing where her counts were she was unable to go and start the race off. Hanna yelled as loud as she could...On your marks-get set-GO!!! and off they went, this was real neat to see so many people out there in this cold weather to help raise money for Haley's medical bills.

Thanks for stopping by & continue to pray for Haley, as at this time we need all we can get!!!

**You possess a richness of spirit and a natural grace all your own. There is a profound reason why you are here.**

Wednesday, February 4, 2004 8:47 PM CST

Hi Everyone! Monday was a snow day for everyone and the girls got to go outside and play for a little while. Tuesday Haley & Hanna had a late start to school, dad took them and dropped them both off. Haley stayed after school with her 4th grade teacher Mrs. Cruise and got some 1 on 1 tutoring. They both had a Great time and Haley did a bunch of work.

This brings us to today...Wednesday, Haley went to get her counts and her Platlets are still low but coming up, her Hemoglobin is at 9.8(so doesn't need transfused till we get to 9.0) and her WBC is high enough that she is able to go without wearing a mask and was able to go to church tonight(she enjoys being with her friends). I called and talked with the clinic today and her surgeon went on vacation earlier this week(that's our luck) and will be back tonight. So I promised them that I would not call and bug them tomorrow but guess what?? I will call them on Friday to see if they now know what the next step is!! We are hoping for surgery....

Thanks to each of you for visiting our site and signing Haley's guestbook! We will update within the next couple days to let you all know what is next!!!

**When in Doubt look up**

Friday, January 30, 2004 9:26 PM CST

Happy Friday to Everyone! We are home and so glad to be here. Today Haley went to Children's Hospital for CT scans and as her doctor shared with us, all areas have been affected by the Chemo drugs. Dr. Thompson placed a call to Haley's surgeon to let him know that her scans are ready to be viewed. Once her surgeon(Dr. Saxton) views the scans he will talk with her Oncology doctors to let them know what steps we take next. It sounds like there is a couple different directions we are probably headed. 1st one being she is ready for surgery, which would be hopefully scheduled for sometime real soon or the 2nd is that the surgeons feel for Haley's sake they need to continue with another round of Chemo treatments. Whichever way they feel is best for her will be okay with us.

One of the doctors concerns continues to be the tumor that is located in her main artery feeding her heart(IVC). The surgeons will be the ones to know if and what they can do with this.

Haley's count were taking again to see if she needed transfused and her Platlets were at 21 today, so she did get a transfusion on Platlets before she left the hospital today. Haley made some cranes while she had some extra time at the hospital and helped June from the clinic make one. She is feeling pretty well today, after she got over her hospital jitterbugs(this is kinda usual for Haley & mom-dad seems to stay pretty calm). Hanna went to school today and we did make it home in time to meet her:)

If we don't get another big round of snow on Saturday hopefully we will all be able to go to Hanna's basketball game & maybe try to let Haley go to her 5th grade teams game!!!!

If all goes well, Haley will not have to go back till next Wednesday for counts and who knows by than we may know ALOT more on what comes next....until than we play the waiting game....Thanks for all your support~Haley & Hanna are really enjoying reading all the comments from everyone.

**As each new day comes to you, please realize the value & never let the little things slip by**

Tuesday, January 27, 2004 7:29 PM CST

******BAM***** Today was so cool...Haley got a special delivery in the mail and it was as the picture shows ~An authgraphed Emeril Kids cookbook!!! She's only put that book down long enough to make Brownies with her dad(Kevin)!!! For those of you who don't know, Haley LOVES to watch the Food Network & she really enjoys Kicking it up a notch with Emeril:) The hospital doesn't offer this channel and believe Haley there food taste nothing like Emeril's.

We have gotten around 12 inches of snow here and therefore Hanna got to stay home with Haley the past 2 days. Today they actually went outside and rode on the 4-wheeler for awhile, crazy Haleygirl drove.

Now onto the icky part of our lives...an update on what's taking place with Haley's cancer. She is due to go back for counts Wednesday or Thursday and setup for scans on Friday. (We need lots of prayers to prepare for this). Some friends at my mom's(Patti) work had put together a Good Luck Bucket, full of all kinds of charms that have brought them Good Luck in their lives, we took this with us last time and we will take it again this time. We are not sure where we are headed after Friday's scans, so I will be sure to update with whatever news we get. She is feeling pretty well & making the most of each day!! It is truly amazing how strong children are-they sure make you realize the value of each smile, hug, laugh, and hour of each day.

Don't forget to sign my guestbook!! Thanks so much for visiting my site:)

**When we open our eyes to children's innocent wisdom, we find the wondrous simplicity of life's beauty.**

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 9:07 PM CST

**New pictures are finally here-Yeah**

Hello Everyone, we're back!! Here's an update on the past several days. Haley's counts were high enough & she started treatment on Friday. The hospital lifted the visitation limits(due to the flu) and Hanna was able to stay up there with Haley. Haley had 2 different Chemo treatments and had to be transfused before leaving on Sunday. Haley gets 2 shots a day due to having been diagnosed with DVT(Deep Vein Thrombosis)in her both legs and after this treatment she needs an additional shot to help build her WBC up! She will go in tomorrow to get a new count and it sounds like they are still planning on doing her next set of scans later next week. Her doctor will be back from his 3 week vacation next Tuesday!!

Haley has all kinds of stuff going on, friends from the community held a Soup Supper on Friday the 16th(which I know we kinda talked about last time), a huge banner was signed by lots of people who attended the supper, her 5th grade Basketball buddies give her a signed ball from all of them and today she received a Autographed Basketball from the Women's Husker Basketball team(this is the University of Nebraska Women's team for those of you not local) Thanks to some very special friends at my mom's(Patti) place of employment. Haley & Hanna thought that this was so cool:)

As always Thanks so much for stopping by...Please don't forget to sign Haley's guestbook~she loves that.

**May you always travel with the wind at your back, a star for a compass, and an angel on your shoulder.**

Friday, January 16, 2004 11:27 PM CST

Well today started off with good news for Haley. Her Platlets came up high enough that she was able to start treatment today:)

The community had a Soup Supper Fundraiser for Haley's medical fund tonight and what words can I come up with but....WOW....lots of people turned out to enjoy Chili & Pie and contribute money to Haley's fund. It would have been nice for Haley to be there but she knows how important it is to stay on track with treatments. We have lots of pictures & a video of the night to share with her. Haley was able to go to school 3 days this week & spend some great times with all her friends!! I'm not sure who was more excited her or her friends~it is so nice to know that so many people see how special Haley is!! She is still going through each day with a smile on her face. Thanks so much to everyone who came out tonight to support & Celebrate Haley, it helps her out so much to know that she is surrounded by such Wonderful friends!! Haley will update more later. Haley is enjoying seeing everyone who visits & signs her questbook~it puts a smile on her face each & everyday:)

**The sharing of feelings connects us and makes us realize how much we all need each other in this world.**

Tuesday, January 13, 2004 9:20 PM CST

Hi Everyone! Haley went to the hospital yesterday but her counts were not high enough so they could not start treatments. Her Platlets are still too low, but the wonderful news is that her WBC(white blood counts) were high enough that she was able to take her mask off & kinda celebrate!!! Kevin & I took her to eat at Valentino's for lunch yesterday(she wanted popcorn shrimp) and guess what she got it:) We also took her to Champions Fun Center to go bowling and play some games...it was such a joy to see her have so much fun. Now today she was able to go back to school after being gone since probably October. Haley had such a terrific day today, her and Hanna rode the bus home and had HUGE smiles on their face!! Hanna had basketball practice and Haley's 5th grade team was practicing so she joined them for awhile. We will go back on Friday and have her counts checked, if her Platlets come up she will be able to have treatment. If not we will wait till next week. Thanks to everyone who continues to pray and support our family.

**Seize everyday as an adventure, and your spirit will discover the wonderful surprises life has to offer.**

Monday, January 12, 2004 10:21 AM CST

Hi Everybody~I just got up here in the Hospital,and got on the internet. I don't know if my counts are high enough to have treatment,but I hope they are. Hi it's Patti~we have had Haley's labwork done this morning & she is waiting to be checked in. If her counts are high enough she will be admitted for 3 days of treatment, if they are low~we will have to wait till Wednesday & try again, if they are still low she will be pushed back 1 week(hopefully not). Haley will be having 2 different kinds of Chemo while she is here. The last time she had this treatment it took her over 2 weeks to get back on her feet. We will update as we find out some news in a little while. Hanna is at school & going to stay with her 1st grade teacher Kara Savage for the next couple days(very excited they are). Haley got to go to Hanna's first basketball game on Saturday, that was a Great feeling & Hanna's team won!!! Thanks for the continued support, we couldn't get through it without all of you.
*Enjoy each day for what it is worth~you never know the value till it's gone**

Friday, January 9, 2004 7:41 PM CST

Finally, I got these pictures to take!!! Click on the photo album to view. Hope it works for you...Sorry it has been awhile since we give you all an update. Haley has gotten to feel better over the past week. She spent a little time with her Grandma & Grandpa Riddle this week, while Kevin had somethings to get done. She also had to go and get a Platlet transfusion on Monday(this was new to her-the 1st one she has had) and her Platlet count is slowly climbing back up. She is hoping to be able to go to Hanna's first Basketball game tomorrow & maybe go cheer on her 5th grade friends at their game as well. We will be hopeful that Haley's counts are high enough that she gets her next treatment on Monday. As always, Thank you so much for all the prayers and support!

*Of all the moments we gather in our lives, those we cherish most are the moments shared.*

Thursday, January 1, 2004 8:31 PM CST

Happy New Year Everyone!! Haley & Hanna stayed up last night to ring in 2004, they had some Sparkling Wine and made lots of noise with their noise makers!!! We ask that this year bring us good news with Haley & her battle with cancer. Today the girls got to go play at a park and visit with Grandma & Grandpa Sundling & Uncle Jeff. We are still trying to get some pictures placed out here. Thanks to all of you for the continued support and We wish you all a Very Blessed New Year:)

Tuesday, December 30, 2003 7:32 PM CST

Hi Everyone!!! Thanks so much for checking out my new Webpage. Today has been a pretty good day for me, I'm feeling alot better than I had been. I played ATV Playstation with my Dad today and Hanna&Mom brought home dinner for us tonight:) My Grandpa Dale came down to help my Dad and I got to watch some t.v. for awhile. I will go tomorrow and get my counts checked, hopefully they will be Good!! Don't forget to sign my Guestbook when you check in. Have a Happy New Year....Talk to you all later

Sunday, December 28, 2003 1:45 PM CST

Hi Everyone! I have found a new way to comunicate with friends and family and I think we are going to like it. Haley was diagnosed with a Wilm's Tumor on Tuesday August 19th 2003. Since than we have under went several Chemo treatments, lost most of our hair and lost weight too. Haley's spirit is very Good(most of the time). She always has a smile:) She is such a strong little lady. Her sister Hanna has been such a huge help at home & school, keeping everyone updated on Haley's progress. We are hoping that the year 2004, brings us Good News with Haley and her cancer. We send a HUGE Thank You out to everyone who has been involved in some way to support and help us during the past 4 months. I will update as we get new information or just as we go, so that you can feel like you know what is going on in our lives. Take Care

Sunday, December 28, 2003 1:37 PM CST

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