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Gods Love and Blessing on your journey..
What a great thing you are doing.
May God Bless you
MOA ( Mommy of an Angel)
www.caringbridge.org/tn/kayla
www.caringbridge.org/tn/mimmie


Creative Spiritz

Dear Mr. Hallmark,

I am writing to you from heaven, and though it must appear,
A rather strange idea, I see everything from here,
I just popped in to visit, your stores to find a card,
A card of love for my parents, as this day for them is hard,
There must be some mistake I thought, every card you can imagine,
except I could not find a card, from a child that lives in heaven,
they are still a parent too, no matter where I reside,
I had to leave, they understand, but oh the tears they cried,
I thought that if I wrote to you, that you would come to know,
that though I live in heaven now, I still love my parents so,
they talk with me, and dreams with me, we still share laughter too,
memories are our way of speaking now, would you see what you can do?
my parents carry me in their heart, their tears they hide from sight,
they plants flowers in my garden, there my living memory dwells,
they writes to other grieving parents, trying to ease there pain as well,
so you see Mr. Hallmark, though I no longer live on earth,
I must find a way, to remind her of her wondrous worth,
they need to be honored, and be remembered too,
just as the children of the earth will do,
thank you Mr. Hallmark, I know you will do your best,
find a way to tell them, how much they mean to me,
until I can do it for myself, when she joins me in eternity.


I know Christmas must be so hard for you although I can't comprehend how difficult it must be.

All my love,

Viks

I was posting this picture on Cassie's site, and thought I would swing by your page to say "hello". I hope its going well on the dragonfly wards, it must help the parents having a nurse who truely understands.

Lots of love

Viks

Hi Yvonne,
Thinking of you today,

www.postpals.co.uk
Love
Sue
xxxxx

hello dear friends. so so sorry we have not been able to sign in lately..computer problems. hope your doing well today. may your memories be sweet and your tomorrows bright.

Always in our thoughts hearts and prayers!!
~*~Samantha’s Story~*~

Because growing up is hard enough without cancer!!

DEANNA FERNANDEZ < dfernandez11@cox.net>
phx, AZ U S A - Thursday, May 19, 2005 1:50 AM CDT

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I stopped by to see how you are doing and wanted to wish you a Happy Mothers Day.

Angel Rachel's mommy
jeanne <crowman2766@aol.com>
king of prussia, pa usa - Saturday, May 7, 2005 9:54 PM CDT

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www.caringbridge.org/pa/celeste
Tami <tsy2@pitt.edu>
pgh, pa - Saturday, May 7, 2005 5:04 PM CDT

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Hoping somehow you have a Happy Mothers Day and remember the good times with your beautiful daughter.
Chris & Gooch
- Saturday, May 7, 2005 10:09 AM CDT

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Hi.
I just read your post and I think you should follow your heart. I have learned through our experiences that we should trust our gut instinct. I remember before Rachels illness, I used to say everything happens for a reason and that GOD works in strange ways. I think about my life in the past and see GODS hand in everything.
Do what you think feels right. I wish I could know what is best decision to make for you.
So far you have been making great decisions. Wow! you are going to graduate! I admire that!

Angel Rachel's mommy
jeanne <crowman2766@aol.com>
king of prussia, pa usa - Wednesday, April 27, 2005 9:00 AM CDT

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Hi Yvonne,

I would not know what to do either...about the work situation! I will pray that God lead your decision and that He even helps you *KNOW* that you are where He wants you to be!!

Thinking of you...and I miss the links too.

God bless,
Monica
Monica Paquette <mj.paquettet@att.net>
Minneapolis, MN - Tuesday, April 26, 2005 8:42 AM CDT

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We will keep you in our prayer that the right decison will be made and it will be the right one for you. I just found your Precious Leilanis page, was a precious and couragous lil girl . and a beautiful tributie to her to keep her memory alive, I hope my Angel Mae Mae has met you Angel Leilani in Heaven and became Angel Buddies.
With God Love
April And "Angel" MAe MAe and Mimmie and Boys
www.caringbridge.org/tn/kayla
www.caringbridge.org/tn/mimmie <babymsmom04@yahoo.com>
- Thursday, April 21, 2005 12:20 AM CDT

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yvonne,

another opinion. maybe this other hospital is the place you are really meant to be. you don't know until you try. don't close any doors.

when i was in college, i had a company i wanted to work for picked out. for three years, i had them picked. i followed them, camped overnight in the snow to sign up for an interview, actually, got approved for a second interview and plant trip. then i was offered an outside engineering job with contel. what to do? give up my dream? yes, almost 18years later here i am. same company (okay a few different names along the way). i have been satisfied with my job. how many people can say that? i made the right choice. but it was not what i thought i wanted.

i know exactly WHY you are driven. WHY you are becoming a nurse. i always figured, if the telephone business was not my thing, i could get a job elsewhere, but i had an opportunity, and i took it. i never looked back. what if? what if you take this other job? what IF, it is actually where you are meant to be? you will never know.

anyway, i am not telling you to take it. i am just giving a different view. you as a nurse is awesome enough. the compassion and life experience you have will make you an asset anywhere.


lisa www.caringbridge.org/ar/savannah <littleredlch@yahoo.com>
russellville, ar usa - Thursday, April 21, 2005 7:58 AM CDT

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Hi Yvonne!!!

Okay, here's my 2 cents: Life is too short for you to spin your wheels in a job that you do not enjoy. If you feel the Lord wants to use you on the oncology floor at the other hospital, go for it! Don't be afraid of missed opportunities. God is not going to allow you to "miss" an opportunity if you go where He leads you. Okay, I'm done.

I got a job too!!!! Out of frustration a couple of weeks ago I went and applied for a job as a cake decorator at a local grocery store not 5 minutes from my house. I hated it. In the meantime, another grocery store 10 minutes away called me and offered me more money. I decided to take that one BUT I also began to send out resumes for transcription thinking it was going to take me a long time to get hired. I was hired right away!!! I start my career as a medical transcriptionist on Monday morning, Praise the Lord!

We were talking at Compassionate Friends last night about how even happy events make us sad, because our children (all of our children) are not able to share in the happiness with us. I am sad that I cannot talk with Adrienne about this, although I know that our girls are proud of their Mamas and that they know that they are the inspiration for why we do what we do.

I will pray for your decision!!!!

Love, Nichelle
Adrienne's Mama, http://www.caringbridge.org/tx/adrienne <rejoice_first_lady@yahoo.com>
Cedar Park, TX USA - Friday, April 15, 2005 4:39 PM CDT

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So sorry for your loss, this is horrendous that a tradgedy like this can happen. I will keep you in my prayers.


Darla Lindenmayer, Angel matt's mom 7-3-90-4-22-04 <DLinden73@aol.com www.caringbridge.org/in/angelbarneyboo>
IN - Wednesday, March 30, 2005 7:44 PM CST

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Hello Yvonne,

I've been following your Leilani's website for a while and just wanted to say I'm sorry for your losses. Murder is a stupid senseless act - and my prayers to you and your family...My Husband's step-father was murdered 7 years ago this Monday, it's still unreal that it happened. His killer has never been caught. I hope your brother-in-laws killers are found for everyone's safety.
Please take care.
Jenn Hartley <ronjenn696@prodigy.net>
Bensalem, PA USA - Wednesday, March 30, 2005 12:38 AM CST

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HAPPY EASTER LOVE WWW.POSTPALS.CO.UK

Post Pals <info@postpals.co.uk>
- Friday, March 25, 2005 9:12 AM CST

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Thinking of you.

Hugs ~

Amber & Kaidrie <utahmomto2@aol.com>
SLC, UT - Thursday, March 24, 2005 10:07 PM CST

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Dear Yvonne,

I am so sorry (and so shocked) about what happened to your brother-in-law. Murder is murder but what a heinous and cruel way to take a life. I am so sorry that you have seen so much grief in your life. I agree with Nichele, below, these happenings only make us long for heaven even more.

I will pray for your family and your nieces. I am so very, very sorry.

In Christ,
Monica
Monica Paquette <mj.paquette@att.net>
Minneapolis, MN - Wednesday, March 23, 2005 8:34 AM CST

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So sorry to hear about all of your losses. You are in our thoughts and prayers daily.
Amber & Kaidrie <utahmomto2@aol.com>
SLC, UT - Monday, March 21, 2005 11:04 PM CST

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Yvonne,

My sister, I am so sorry to hear of your brother-in-law's murder. Every evidence of this fallen world makes me long for Heaven even more. Someone asked me if I still asked the Lord, "Why?" because I seem to be doing "okay." My answer was that I ask Him at least 1000 a day.

I will add your neices names to my list of prayers for you and your family. You have been such a blessing to me. Like Paul says in Ephesians 6:1, I "do not cease to give thanks for you, making mention of you in my prayers." Yvonne, God used you to help me to get up from my mourning pit and go back to school and do something with my mind and continue on in the ministry because my labor was not in vain. Your labor is not in vain either.

I hope one day that after you are finished with nursing school and I am finished with medical transcription school that you and I can meet half way between Texas and North Carolina just so we can hug!

Keep looking unto Jesus!

Blessings,

Nichelle
Adrienne's Mama http://www.caringbridge.org/tx/adrienne <rejoice_first_lady@yahoo.com>
Cedar Park, TX USA - Saturday, March 19, 2005 9:10 PM CST

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hello....wanted to let u know that even though caringbridge had us remove all our friends links, your still always with us. We will continue to visit and keep u in our prayers...

Always in our thougths prayers and hearts...
~*~Samantha's Story~*~
...because growing up is hard enough without cancer!!
karen n sammi <mpbowler1@aol.com>
- Saturday, March 19, 2005 8:26 PM CST

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I just read your update and I just couldn't believe it. I am so sorry for all that your whole family is going through. You are right when you describe the "whys" with GOD and man. You have a good heart. I don't know why man do what they do. I hope that you get your answer from those people some day. There is too much violence in this world. Anytime you need to vent, please send me email or I can call you or you can call me. I would love to talk to you anytime.

Angel Rachel's mommy
jeanne <crowman2766@aol.com>
king of prussia, pa usa - Saturday, March 19, 2005 8:56 AM CST

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Precious Yvonne, you are always in my heart, always in my prayers. As I look at the world around me I cannot help but to tearfully give thanks to our Lord for taking Anna, even at the expense of my pain. "The righteous perisheth, and no man layeth it to heart: and merciful men are taken away, none considering that the righteous is taken away from the evil to come." (Isaiah 57:1) It is so hard in this valley. Praise God for our promised eternity in "a place where dwelleth righteousness".

In His Love,
Yolanda
http://www.galatians5.com
Mom to Anna <galatians5@truevine.net>
Altamonte Springs, FL USA - Friday, March 18, 2005 6:44 PM CST

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I am so sorry to hear about this! I watch the news in disbelief some days as to how people can be so heartless and cruel taking lives while others fight to live just another day! I wish they could take a look through another person's eyes, if only for a minute and see how precious life is. Love, Tracy and Katia (a.k.a. "The Ladybug")
Fighting leukemia AML with a vengence!
Sharing Hope on the Wings of a Ladybug




Tracy and Katia <tmsol87@aol.com>
- Friday, March 18, 2005 6:12 PM CST

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I ran across this in my email today. I just wanted to share it with you.

Grief is laughing with your children and wishing for the absent one to
make the circle complete.

Grief is crying in your car at stoplights.

Some days grief makes you brutally honest; other days, grief muzzles
you.

Grief reconstructs your heart.

Grief is sadness, hope, smiles and tears - rolled tightly like a
snowball.

Grief makes you search past the stars and the moon for Heaven.

Grief strips you of everything you were pretending to be.

Grief gives you new priorities.

Grief opens hidden treasures from deep within your soul.

Grief allows you to empathize more deeply with others who ache.

Grief makes you unapologetically bold.

Grief is a daily companion, best dealt with by admitting you do walk
with it, even after all these years.

Grief is the price of love; grief is a gift.

Allow yourself time to listen to the sounds of the night and write what
grief is to you.

~reprinted from "How to Make A Family" The Expanded Sky

Blessings,

Nichelle
Adrienne's Mama - http://www.caringbridge.org/tx/adrienne <rejoice_first_lady@yahoo.com>
Cedar Park, TX USA - Saturday, March 12, 2005 3:48 PM CST

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Yvonne!!!!!
I haven't forgotten you, girl. I am cramming to try to finish the last of this medical transcription program. I've got two assignments left on my current CD. After taking a final on that, I'll be done with the basic course. Then I'll have one CD to do in the "expert" course and then I'm done. I'm so anxious to finish, I've been getting up at 6 a.m. to work before my family gets up. They're so noisy (smile)! But you know I miss Adrienne's "noise" the most. She and Brandice used to play with their Daddy at night before bed and she would laugh this high-pitched shrill laugh. It used to drive me crazy, but I'd do anything to hear it today. I'm praying for your job. I know you're going to get your heart's desire! Pray for me too!

Love,

Nichelle
Adrienne's mom http://www.caringbridge.org/tx/adrienne <rejoice_first_lady@yahoo.com>
Cedar Park, TX USA - Saturday, March 12, 2005 7:43 AM CST

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I am so glad that you updated. I have been checking on you and thinking of you. congrats on your good grade. I admire you for going to school. I know what you mean about changing the names to Angel. I have not been able to do that on my site either. It feels so wrong.
you had wrote in my guestbook about feeling guilty for not going to her grave. dont feel guilty. i too wanted to claw at the dirt like an animal and get my baby back and hug and kiss her a lot. I actually didn't want to bury rachel. i wanted to take her out of that coffin and put her in her own bed in her own house where she belongs. i know i sound like a crazy person.
i admire your Faith and trust in GOD. I still have so much work for me in that area. but i am aware of this and i guess that is a good start. maybe i am afraid to trust and believe, maybe i am trying to protect myself. but i talk and pray to God everyday. i always have prayed GOD and that hasnt changed. so what i feel really doesnt make sense. i really admire you.
anyway sorry about my rambling....take care

mommy forever to angel Rachel
jeanne <crowman2766@aol.com>
king of prussia, pa usa - Friday, March 11, 2005 9:04 AM CST

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I just updated my links and realized that there were more angels that I choose not to change... I literally passed out while doing my links... I had to step back and think of how our children are together and that we'll be together again - it keeps me going and doing to remember holding Celeste in my arms - I know what Heaven feels like and that she must be in incomprehensible comfort. *hugs*


Tami <tsy2@pitt.edu>
pgh, pa - Monday, March 7, 2005 1:40 PM CST

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hugs*
Tami, Angel Celeste's mom
pgh, pa - Saturday, March 5, 2005 11:36 AM CST

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i just wanted you to know that i stopped by to see the pictures of your beautiful daughter.
i am also thinking of you.

mommy forever to angel Rachel
jeanne <crowman2766@aol.com>
king of prussia, pa usa - Friday, March 4, 2005 9:01 AM CST

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JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW THAT YOUR FAMILY IS IN MY PRAYERS.


CARINGBRIDGE.ORG/WV/FREDAFOX
RUTH <BLUEEYED_FEMALE@MSN.COM>
HINTON, WV - Tuesday, February 22, 2005 11:03 PM CST

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Hi,

Just stopping by to say hello and let you know I still think of you and your daughter. Personally, I think you will bring what it needed to the field of medicine in general - compassion and understanding. Any institution will be lucky to have you on their nursing team. I have a hard time with needles and blood so nursing is out for me. I have considered social work.

Take Care,


Diana, Mother of Angel Katherine http://www.caringbridge.org/tx/katherinecross/ <diana@houston.rr.com>
Houston, TX - Sunday, February 20, 2005 5:01 PM CST

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Hi
I just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you.

jeanne mom to angel Rachel
jeanne <crowman2766@aol.com>
king of prussia, pa usa - Friday, February 18, 2005 9:39 AM CST

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Thanks so much for the packages for the girls and myself. You are so very thoughtful!! You're in our thoughts and prayers.



Amber & Kaidrie <utahmomto2@aol.com>
SLC, UT - Sunday, February 13, 2005 11:45 PM CST

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Your entry had me teary eyed. What a great person you are. Your family continue to be in our prayers.



Amber & Kaidrie <utahmomto2@aol.com>
SLC, UT - Thursday, January 27, 2005 9:14 PM CST

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Thank you so much for all you given to us this year.





Amber & Kaidrie <utahmomto2@aol.com>
SLC, UT - Friday, December 31, 2004 2:05 PM CST

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Amber & Kaidrie <utahmomto2@aol.com>
SLC, UT - Tuesday, December 21, 2004 1:09 AM CST

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Stopping by to say hello. We think about you all often. You continue to be in our daily prayers.


Amber & Kaidrie <utahmomto2@aol.com>
SLC, UT - Thursday, December 16, 2004 10:38 PM CST

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we wish you peace of heart this holiday season. I wish we had the magic words to say to make this season happier for you. but remember your christmas angel is watching you and wants you to think good thoughts.

Always in our thoughts hearts and prayers!!
~*~Samantha's Story~*~
karen n sammi <mpbowler1@aol.com>
- Sunday, December 5, 2004 3:01 PM CST

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Hi Auntie! It's Cinthya again. As always, I'm in Study Hall visiting Leilani's page. HAPPY THANKSGIVING! Tell Xavi and Noah I say hi and that I miss them! I miss ya too and I pray for Ms. Nani every day. In fact, I even had a dream about her! We went to visit you guys again and Leilani was there! She was so happy and lively, maybe it's just her way of saying "I'm okay up here." I love you!
Cinthya <Lovableszz9020@aol.com>
Richmond, VA USA - Tuesday, November 23, 2004 12:57 AM CST

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Stopping by to say hello. You continue to be in our prayers.

Amber & Kaidrie <utahmomto2@aol.com>
SLC, UT - Monday, November 22, 2004 2:17 PM CST

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Yvonne ~ Lisa's entry was right on!!! So I will move on to..."GREAT ATTITUDE" regarding the miracle of your learning at the High Acuity Unit. It truley is a miracle as you have learned so much there already and will be able to gather even more information to help others. What a beautiful person you are and no doubt will be VERY successful in your chosen career path. I wish you the very best!

A Friend in Jesus Christ,
Michelle Bartoletti Olman <michelle@village.howard.wi.us>
Green Bay, WI USA - Tuesday, November 16, 2004 7:47 PM CST

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Yvonne,
With thoughts of you and your family. Thank you for your prayers for our Troy.

Peace,
Nadine (Angel Troy's mommy forever)

Nadine Paulmeno <Spitter24@aol.com www.caringbridge.org/ny/troy>
Hoover, AL USA - Tuesday, November 16, 2004 8:36 AM CST

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Leilani's site is so cute, just like her...I read her story and your poems..I love kitties just as much as Leilani...My heart goes out to you...I hope that God's love and Faith will guide you and protect you daily...With loving thoughts and prayers...
Lori <amarigega25@yahoo.com>
Axson, GA USA - Monday, November 8, 2004 8:59 AM CST

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We're just stopping in to say hello.
Thinking about you lots. You're in our prayers daily.
hugs ~

Amber & Kaidrie <utahmomto2@aol.com>
SLC, UT - Saturday, November 6, 2004 1:58 PM CST

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I haven't signed in so long but I have come by. I HAD to stop in and sign this time though. I have been thinking a lot about some of the kids that have passed lately and Leilani is never far from my mind. I just wanted to share that with you. Thank you for sharing your sweet daughter:)
Love,
Tracy and Katia (a.k.a. "The Ladybug")





Tracy and Katia <tmsol87@aol.com>
- Saturday, October 30, 2004 8:56 PM CDT

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Yvonne,
I haven't even finished reading your post and I had to respond. ADHD medicine SHOULD NOT change his personality. If it does, change it. There are three kinds available now, 2 amphedimine based and one not. You may have to play with dosages and types. This is a long journey but much easier than what you have already gone through. The manners you taught him will miraculasly return. There should be just one of him bouncing off the walls, not 17 at the same time. He will be able to have friends again. You won't feel like a bad parent. You proved you aren't, but those thoughts creep up. You are most likely also saving him from a future drug addiction. Many unmedicated kids will attempt to medicate themselves later on.

I don't buy the doctors reasoning to you. It's like an oh well, this is how it is. phoohey! I repeat...it SHOULD NOT change his personality.

Love to you...and I will return to your entry.
lisa www.caringbridge.org/ar/savannah <m-lhurley@centurytel.net>
russellville, ar usa - Friday, October 29, 2004 7:00 PM CDT

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Hi Auntie!
It's Cinthya. I'm here at school, during study hall. Yes, you probably must be saying "this girl must be awful at school." Hahaha, I miss you! How are Xavi and Noah? Good I hope. It was so much fun visiting you in NC, I hope we can go again. Tell Xavi we still have the Truth or Dare Jenga, I'm sure he'll remeber what I'm talking about. Well, I've gotta go! I love you!



Cinthya <lovableszz9020@aol.com>
Richmond, VA USA - Wednesday, October 27, 2004 12:36 AM CDT

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Just a short hello from me,



Viks
viks <viks@postpals.co.uk>
- Sunday, October 10, 2004 6:10 AM CDT

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just sending our love and support across the miles...

always in our hearts thoughts and prayers!!
~*~Samantha's Story~*~
karen n sammi <mpbowler1@aol.com>
- Monday, September 27, 2004 7:52 PM CDT

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Yvonne,
Just stopping by to check on you. I think of you soooooo much. I see you recognize what you are going through, the sadness. Thank God for that insight. If you know what it is and understand it is normal grieving you will deal much better. I feel so selfish when I hurt because my baby is in heaven. But God made us. It is part of the healing process He has built into us. And grief is the price of love, therefore I allow it. I show my grief to Cassie at times. One day she will also feel the sadness (her dr. said average 2-5 yrs before Savannah's death hits her). She MUST know it is okay to miss, hurt, ache, and possibly feel overwhelmed at times.
lisa.www.caringbridge.org/ar/savannah <m-lhurley@centurytel.net>
russellville, ar usa - Tuesday, September 21, 2004 7:28 AM CDT

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Hello Yvonne,

I think of you often. I'm sorry you are experiencing such extreme sadness but am not surprised because I know you had something so beautiful snatched away from you. When I think of the one "word" that wraps up how I feel about Gabbie's death, it is "haunting."

I also thought of you last night. I remember once you wrote a journal entry and mentioned that you had no idea if your deceased grandparents were in heaven. I was cleaning and found the memorial for one of my grandmothers. Her children all wrote something but not one single person mentioned God or Jesus. I rubbed my fingers over my grandmother's picture and out loud said, "Where are you, Grandma?" Only God knows.

I always like the order of your journal entries as they match my personality. You speak of the deep pain but then always wrap up with the hope you have in Jesus and your love for Jesus. Our first imperative is to love Jesus with all our heart.

Thank you for sharing the truth.

God bless,
Gabrielle's Mama
Monica Paquette <mj.paquette@att.net>
Minneapolis, MN - Monday, September 13, 2004 8:33 AM CDT

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Stopping by to pass along some ((HUGS)). You're in our daily thoughts and prayers. Kaidrie is using her beach towel as a blanket. Thanks so much for all you've done!
Love,


Amber & Kaidrie <utahmomto2@aol.com>
SLC, UT - Saturday, September 11, 2004 11:59 PM CDT

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hi yvonne
i read your juornal entry and it seems so similar to mine worded so differntly but feelings of the same emptiness. maybe its just everthing all coming at us at once.
thinking of you always
abbie
«♥Angel Mitchell♥» <afraser1@tru.eastlink.ca>
tru, ns canada - Thursday, September 9, 2004 5:27 PM CDT

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I'm just stopping by to let you know my thoughts and prayers are with you. God bless and *warm hugs* ><>†<><



Lighting Children's Lives

My website


*Jennifer C* from Lighting Children's Lives <jenniferc@ilovetocolor.com>
Eugene, OR USA - Friday, September 3, 2004 4:26 PM CDT

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Thinking of you





Love Viks From Post Pals and Bears Who Care

viks <viks@postpals.co.uk>
- Wednesday, August 18, 2004 11:17 AM CDT

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Yvonne:

I have come by your website many (many, many) times without signing but tonight I wanted to leave you a message to let you know that I am thinking about you and your beautiful daughter. I love reading what you wrote about her dreams of Heaven and Playing with God. You and she are so blessed that her transition was such a loving and peaceful one. Jake's was similar. He would get scared but would also talk about how wonderful Heaven was. He used to tell me that he saw an angel sometimes (it was near his end here on earth so communicating was somewhat difficult) He said it was a little boy but that the boy just stayed with him and waited but did not speak. I know that our children are doing so well now and are in the best possible place...but it is so hard missing them sometimes (always). Jake also was a Kitty lover...he loved "his girl" as he called his Cat.

Blessings,

Susan mommy forever to Jakey Bear


Griffin <@aol.com>
- Wednesday, August 11, 2004 0:42 AM CDT

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Hi Yvonne,
Stop by to let you know your family are in our prayer continueously. Though time past by, it can't stop us missing our beloved girls. The Father's house about Leilani you shared with us before has been in my mind for a long time. Thank you for keep sharing the words of inspiration.
Esther's father

Benjamin, Paulina, Erin (Forever Family with ~Esther~) <Mercy2Live@yahoo.com>
Dayton, OH US - Tuesday, August 10, 2004 4:19 PM CDT

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I came to your little girls page from another Caring Bridge little boy. Your girl was very pretty and how I loved reading your entry about how she dreamed about heaven. I bet she is looking out her bedroom in heaven smelling and hearing the ocean! God Is Good!
Thank you for sharing your story.
Karla <2joshstewart@comcast.net>
GP, TX - Tuesday, August 10, 2004 8:39 AM CDT

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Thank you so much for the encouraging words you left in Kaidrie's guestbook. It amazes me how much support we get from people from caringbridge that we've never even met. Your family are in our daily thoughts and prayers. Hope you all have a great week ahead.
((HUGS))
Amber & Kaidrie <utahmomto2@aol.com>
SLC, UT - Sunday, August 8, 2004 8:49 PM CDT

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It seems like I keep getting lead to these caringbridge pages where other parents like us have angels in heaven too. For some reason I think our angels are wanting us to make contact with each other. My heart filled with such sadness when I saw the pictures of your beautiful daughter. I think God takes only the best to be his angels by his side. I cannot wait the day till we get to see them again. Take care of you!!
Darla Lindenmayer (Angel Matt's mom 7-3-90- 4-22-04) <DLinden73@aol.com www.caringbridge.org/in/matthewlindenmayer>
Lexington, IN - Thursday, August 5, 2004 9:27 PM CDT

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What a beautiful girl you have been blessed with. I found you through Mitch's site, and I am so glad I did. You seem to share my view on losing a child, the longing we feel, yet the comfort we find in knowing it is not forever, and that they are such an important part of God's plan.
I am so inspired by your beautiful Leilani's stories of Heaven, God, and the beauty she knew she would find there. I've always believed that He prepares our children before taking them, and though my son was only a few months old, I knew in my heart that he, too, was visited by angels.
Thank you for sharing her stories, her dreams, and your dreams as well. What a gorgeous thing she is, and how truly blessed you have been.

Jennifer Naeger www.caringbridge.org/mo/butterflyty <jnw_jnn@hotmail.com>
- Thursday, August 5, 2004 5:33 PM CDT

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hi yvonne
The poem about leilani kitty just puts me in stitches its so funny it reminds me of mitchs 2 dogs ,god love them.the oldest dog trooper we got him when mitch was 3 and i couldnt ask for a better dog. but the other one brandy god love her she drives me mad. we got her for mitchs last birthday here on earth, and shes so lucky she has got that memory or out the door she would go.
i have to confess on leilani birthday i was lost for words. i think of leilani alot. we meet alot of people threw caringbridge but you seem to get a true bond with some people that you have incountered. thats how i feel about leilani. she just sounded like that type of girl that she would have me laughing so hard i would be crying and holding my belly. just like mitch
take care
love ya
abbie
«♥Angel Mitchell♥» <afraser1@tru.eastlink.ca>
- Thursday, August 5, 2004 9:23 AM CDT

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Thank you for coming by Ashley's site and signing her guestbook. I have visited Leilani's site several times over the past few months, but didn't really know what to say, then one day this week, I decided to let you know that I have visited before and that I have been praying for you and your family. God bless you all.

Love and prayers,
Tania
www.caringbridge.org/tn/ashleyhaynes
Tania <thaynes@centurionstone.com>
Mt. Juliet, Tn - Friday, July 30, 2004 7:11 AM CDT

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I haven't been able to stop thinking about you this week. I finally have the strength to write. Happy Angel Date sweet Leilani. Forever now happy flying in heaven.
lisa www.caringbridge.org/ar/savannah <m-lhurley@centurytel.net>
russellville , ar usa - Thursday, July 29, 2004 6:07 PM CDT

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what a beautiful
website for a
beautiful angel!!!!!

I am so glad you came
across Craig's website.

thank you so much for
stopping by. we will
come back again.

sending you lots of love

craig, lauren, and helen

CRAIGGY
helen <trula1@comcast.net>
- Wednesday, July 28, 2004 8:20 PM CDT

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I'm sorry I let the days slip away from me and didnt come on Leilani's actual spiritual birthday. I know this has to be so hard for you, and though its little comfort, know one thing, your little girl will not be forgotten. Peace and Hugs,
Chris - Gooch's mom
Share the Love
- Wednesday, July 28, 2004 4:49 PM CDT

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I just found your site from Isaac's site. As I sat in front of my computer completely broken hearted over the loss of Isaac,I decided to read the other guestbook entries and came across yours. I am glad I did. I can tell from reading what you have written that you have an unwavering faith in our Lord, Jesus Christ. I don't know how any mother can withstand the loss of her child, without having God to lean on. My daughter was also diagnosed with a brainstem glioma in July of 1997. Only after a second opinion from John's Hopkins, did we find out it was not a glioma, but Astrocytoma grade II. She had 27 rounds of chemo and is doing well now. But the constant worry is always there, will it come back? I am so deeply sorry for the loss of your precious baby girl. She is truly beautiful. May God continue to bless your family and keep giving you comfort and peace to endure until you are with you angel again. Thank God, that we know we will see those we love who have gone before us. I will keep your family in my thoughts and prayers.

Love,
Tania (Ashley's mom) www.caringbridge.org/tn/ashleyhaynes
Tania Haynes <thaynes@centurionstone.com>
Mt. Juliet, Tn - Tuesday, July 27, 2004 7:17 AM CDT

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I'm sorry I didn't get to leave a message yesterday, I was thinking about Leilani and your family all day.
jenn hartley <ronjenn696@prodigy.net>
bensalem, PA usa - Monday, July 26, 2004 8:26 AM CDT

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What a beautiful little girl. I am so sorry for your lose. I understand this had been an extremely difficult month with birthday & anniversary. I am sending my endless prayers for your continued strength. What a special little angel your family has. May God Bless your family today & always & keep you all in the Palms of His Hands.
Pattu <Pattyvh151@aol.com>
St. Paul, MN - Sunday, July 25, 2004 6:56 PM CDT

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sending some ))HUGS((((and good thoughts your way today and every day....your never far from our hearts and prayers!!

~*~Samantha's Story~*~>
karen n sammi <mpbowler1@aol.com>
- Sunday, July 25, 2004 8:01 AM CDT

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Dear Yvonne,

I probably won't get a chance to write tomorrow. I'm transcribing like crazy trying to get done with this course so I can GET A JOB! But I know you can relate. Know that you're in my prayers as you endure another anniversary date of your beautiful daughter's triumphal entry. You know I always have to give you a Scripture or two to think about! :-)

Philippians 3:20-21
"For our citizenship is in heaven, from which we also eagerly wait for the Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body that it may be conformed to His glorious body, according to the working by which He is able even to subdue all things to Himself."

Our girls already have what our spirits long for (though our flesh may long to touch them and hold them as we do our other children). Spirit calls unto spirit and with each step we take (though sometimes our foot falls heavy and it takes much strain to lift it again) every step leads us closer to our redemption.

Romans 8:23
"Not only that, but we also who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, eagerly waiting for the adoption, the redemption of our body."

A verse from the song I put on Adrienne's website says,
But, Lord, ‘tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh trump of the angel! Oh voice of the Lord!
Blessèd hope, blessèd rest of my soul!

Look up, Fernadez family! Look up!

Your sister in Christ!
Adrienne's mom Nichelle: http://www.caringbridge.org/tx/adrienne <rejoice_first_lady@yahoo.com>
Cedar Park, TX USA - Saturday, July 24, 2004 9:03 PM CDT

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Dearest Yvonne, my heart is weeping knowing the difficult time this month has been for you and you have been in my prayers continually. I especially lift you and your family before our Father's throne tonight as the anniversary of Leilani's Homegoing falls upon you. I say fall because no matter that we think about them every day, these special days do fall upon us with a deeper sorrow and a keener pain. May our Lord hold you close. May you know the peace and comfort of His embrace and may your eyes be ever turned toward His blessed assurance of Heaven.

"We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair." (2 Corinthians 4:8)

Because of His precious promises, we know that through it all our Lord IS with us and will gather us Home to perfect peace and perfect joy in His time.

In His Love
Yolanda
http://www.galatians5.com
Mom to Anna <galatians5@truevine.net>
Altamonte Springs , FL USA - Saturday, July 24, 2004 7:02 PM CDT

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Dear Yvonne,

We continue to pray for you and family. I am glad Leilani turn to be 11. She must be even more mature and beautiful there with our other beloved children. Often times we have the same feeling like you do, we would like to spend anything to exchange only a hug or a kiss to our lovely girls.
Just like Leilani's birthday to you, yesterday was Esther's anniversary of diagnosis to us.

"Sometimes memories have lost their beauty. They are not comforting; they are painful. More times they bring tears to my eyes." (quoted from a book) Sometime we crawl, and more times we just look to God's promises and just to let Him carry us to proceed, though things never be the same again...

Please know you and family are kept in our hearts of prayer. If you don't mind, I'd like to share something I read today with you :)
"The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." (Deuteronomy 31:8)

The prayer, "Lord, help us to face the memories that cause us grief. We trust YOU to once again make our memories from the past a source of joy ... and in the days ahead to create wonderful new memories for the future. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen."

Peace and love to you and your family
Benjamin, father of Esther

Benjamin, Paulina, Erin (Forever Family with ~Esther~) <Mercy2Live@yahoo.com>
Dayton, OH US - Wednesday, July 21, 2004 9:52 AM CDT

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Hi Yvonne,
Just here to let you know I'm thinking of you and your precious Angel...stay strong..

~*~*Girlie's Page*~*~

Love,
XOXOXOXOXOXO
Janice <janiceliew1981@yahoo.com>
Melbourne, Australia - Monday, July 19, 2004 6:01 AM CDT

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Im sending all my love to you all,

Love

Viks
viks <viks@postpals.co.uk>
- Saturday, July 17, 2004 12:39 AM CDT

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Hi Nani!

You have no idea how much you're missed here on earth! What a coincedence that your birthday is July 9 and mine is July 20! Cousins in the same month. I hope you're safe and warm in Heaven, hope God's giving you a HUMONGOUS birthday party! Even though I didn't know you, I still love ya, Nani!

Your "new cousin",
Cinthya.


Cinthya <hispanichica90@aol.com>
Richmond, VA 23150 - Sunday, July 11, 2004 3:12 PM CDT

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God bless your heart on this special day. Leilana will look down and smile at you and her whole family. Patience and faith in God will put you and Leilana together again one day. Thinking of you!
KAYE JOYCE (CHRISTIE EDWARDS' MOM <gregjoyce@rjia.net>
MOUNT AIRY, nc USA - Saturday, July 10, 2004 8:34 PM CDT

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thinking of you on leilani's birthday. many thoughts and prayers, angelique parker
angelique www.caringbridge.org/oh/harleiparker <pfloyd326@yahoo.com>
ohio - Friday, July 9, 2004 10:05 PM CDT

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Dear Leilani,

I'm wishing you a Happy Birthday in Heaven although I never knew you here on earth. I expect to meet you one day because your mama has been such a special friend to me since my Adrienne went to Heaven too. I know you are there cheering your family on in the faith. Telling them to stay strong in the Lord and keep the faith. I know you and Adrienne see when your families stumble from time to time because we miss our girls so much. But because of our faith in Christ and our relationship with the Father, we continue on deny ourselves the desire to just sit depressed locked up in our room until we join you in Heaven, we take up our cross of bereavement that gets lighter only with the Lord's help, and we follow Jesus' example of giving encouragement along the way to those who are acquainted with grief as we are.

Once again, Happy Birthday, Leilani and I hope the chocolate in Heaven is rich!

Blessings,

Nichelle
Adrienne's mom Nichelle: http://www.caringbridge.org/tx/adrienne <rejoice_first_lady@yahoo.com>
Cedar Park, TX USA - Friday, July 9, 2004 9:42 PM CDT

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Happy Birthday sweet Angel!

All grown up with angel wings soaring through Heaven with all your angel friends. I think about you and your mommy all the time. That never stops. Blow kisses to your mommy and give her the insight to feel them and recognize them. Make those painful tears she sheds joyous ones.
lisa www.caringbridge.org/ar/savannah <m-lhurley@centurytel.net>
russellville, ar usa - Friday, July 9, 2004 5:08 PM CDT

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Happy Heavenly Birthday Leilani, my thoughts are with your family today. I hope they are able to celebrate your life and to remember all the joy you gave them. Best Wishes.
Teri
Nashville, TN - Friday, July 9, 2004 3:47 PM CDT

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Yvonne, I know no day is easy. I know my life is forever changed just because my child was diagnosed, I still have him here, and cant begin to imagine how hard it is for those of you who dont have that luxury. People do (I guess) mean well, but oftentimes less is more. The ramblings and the trying to equate their life story to what you're going through is useless. So I will just say I wish you peace and on the special days, the milestones when you should have Leilani here to celebrate, I hope somehow funny or good memories of her bring an unexpected smile to your face and warm your heart.
Happy Birthday in Heaven Angel Leilani
Chris ~ Gooch's Site ~
- Thursday, July 8, 2004 10:53 PM CDT

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Dearest Yvonne, you are in my prayers always but tonight I lift up your name before our Lord's throne in a very special way praying that He may overflow your heart the peace and joy that only He can provide. I hold you in my heart and someday we all hold each other in His presence singing praises of thanksgiving, especially because He has allowed us to know Him and because He has allowed us to know each other.

In His Love,
Yolanda
http://www.galatians5.com
Mom to Anna <galatians5@truevine.net>
Altamonte Springs, FL USA - Thursday, July 8, 2004 7:22 PM CDT

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Good morning. I am the mother of two precious daughers, whom I love with every ounce of my being. I cannot imagine the pain that you and your husband feel at the loss of your precious daughter. I had a sister that was murdered at the tender age of 29. While I felt a tremendous amount of grief, I know that I could magnify that 10,000 times and still not reach the threshhold of pain that my mother was feeling. Rejoice in the fact that because you are a child of His, you will one day see your precious Leilani again. I feel certain that your brother is hurting because he sees you hurt and because he loves you. I will pray that God will allow him to see how powerful his words are and that God will lead him to choose carefully what he says. My mom once told me that "people that hurt others, are hurting too." That makes a lot of sense to me.

I am sorry you are hurting but I fully understand it. It's natural, it's normal. Your family is different now. It's okay to cry, it's okay to miss her. But remember, you will see her again, just as I will see my sister again. I miss her more than words can describe.

Peace to you and your family.
Darlene Sanford a/k/a Sniggles the Clown <csanford@fulbright.com>
San Antonio, TX USA - Thursday, July 8, 2004 9:50 AM CDT

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Dearest Sister in Christ, as usual a WOW journal entry. You are so very right on all accounts. Anna's anniversary was May 30th. This is part of what I wrote in that day's journal: "I just received the class of 2004 picture. Her best friend made sure I got it. She hasn't forgotten. Strange, everyone else has. . .This fact strengthens me. It causes, encourages, almost pushes me to reach out with compassion to others who carry this heaviest of burdens; that they may know Jesus loves them and their pain is not forgotten. Yes, I walk in this valley shadowed with death, but I fear no evil. I walk towards the Light ; I point others to the Light." I just got off the phone with a bereaved parent from Oregon. Today would have been her son's birthday and it is the first time she "celebrates" it without him. After 7 years, how quickly the sharp pain rises and practically takes over. What people cannot understand is that the pain NEVER goes away; it lulls beneath the surface waiting for anything . . .ANYTHING to bring it afloat. May we always use this pain wisely for our Lord's honor and glory. While we share each other's tragedies, may we also share each other's joys. As always, in my prays little sister.
Yolanda Rogers <galatians5@truevine.net>
Altamonte Springs, FL USA - Monday, July 5, 2004 2:01 PM CDT

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Hello Yvonne,

I'm sitting here at our home computer listening to a worship song..."You're all I want....You're all I need...Help me know you are near..." And I'm crying as I read your journal entry.

You wrote, "But there is always that well wishing friend or relative that wants us to go back to who we were before......and that is just not possible! I cannot and will not erase the memory of my sweet Leilani!

I so very much agree with you! We can NEVER ever be the same. Some very special people in my life have let me know that if Gabbie had been their child...their attitude would have been, "Life goes on." I patiently waited for them to add..."but it would be very different." Those words never came. Life goes on.

Yea, I know life goes on. I'm painfully aware that my 43-year-old heart continues to beat while my two-year old daughter's heart gave out because cancer ravaged her body.

I'm so glad you love Jesus, Yvonne. Otherwise, how could we survive this living without our children.

Thinking of you and praying for you. I cannot wait to meet you in eternity, my friend. May we find ourselves kneeling and praising our KING right next to each other and our daughters!!

Love and God bless,
Gabbie's Mama


Monica Paquette <mj.paquette@att.net>
Minneapolis, MN - Monday, July 5, 2004 1:45 PM CDT

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Hey Yvonne.

It's me, Cinthya, you know, the girl Junior and Tina told you about? I think you do remember. You've been so brave to have gone through all that pain. But I think of it like this; God needed one of his angels back. I really wished I could have met Nani, she and I had sooo much in common. Like the thing with dragonflies, I don't know why but all of a sudden, around 2002, I started to love dragonflies. Be brave, Nani would have wanted you to. I send to you all my love and tell Junior I say hi (Just decided to show a litle humor.)




Cinthya(Pili's Daughter :)) <HISPANICHICA90@AOL.COM>
Richmond, Va USA - Saturday, July 3, 2004 8:21 PM CDT

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Your story is so painfully sweet. Your daughter is so beautiful. You have amazing faith. The poems you wrote for her broke my heart...just imagining the things you must feel. Keep the faith. I know you will be with her again. She is so happy and free of pain...it's the hardest for the ones left behind. Thank you for making this site. It touched my life.

Love,
Teresa
Teresa (www.caringbridge.com/or/emmarose) <teresabelle@comcast.net>
Aloha, OR USA - Friday, June 25, 2004 1:13 AM CDT

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Hey Aunt Yvonne,

HOw is everything? How are the boys? My dear, How i miss you guys all soooooo much. I've just read the latest journal entries and they were truly powerful and touching.I am so blessed to have known Leilani. I think of her every single day and i get lost in her beauty and loving personality. I pray for her and the whole family all the time. I just wanted to say Hi! HOPE TO SEE YOU IN AUGUST! Love ya soooo much dear auntie!xoxoxoxo
Love, Eloisa
Eloisa Aribel Serrano <violetstar15@hotmail.com>
Chicago, IL USA - Thursday, June 24, 2004 3:04 PM CDT

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Yvonne,

I found your site through Gabbie's. What a powerful and moving journal entry you wrote! I too lost a child to cancer and I agree that it causes us to rexamine our purpose in this earthly life. I am thankful that God is using you to share Him with others. How could we possibly get through this without all of the wonderful promises God gives us and without the peace, joy and hope that come with them? We would be lost, but thankfully we are not. I will say a prayer for you as you go through the rest of this earthly life without Leilani here.

In Christ,
Jen BUckentine
Zachary's Site <jenbucke@hotmail.com>
St, Cloud, MN - Tuesday, June 22, 2004 9:09 PM CDT

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I was directed to your site from Gabbie's. Monica asked us to come here and offer YOU a word of encouragment... only to find that YOU gave me those much needed words! I too have been struggling with my purpose, since my only child, Andy, died 17 months ago. As a Mother, I felt I had no purpose; no reason to be here... thank you for speaking to me! One of the most amazing things that I've learned, since Andy went to Heaven, is that we (those of us that have lost our babies) almost all feel the exact same!!! Thankfully, many of us have that hope of eternity in Heaven. Thank you for the words of encouragment to ME! In Christ,

jan livingstone (Andy's Mom forever!) Andy went to Heaven at the age of 12 yrs. 7 months and 28 days leukemia
IL - Tuesday, June 22, 2004 8:25 PM CDT

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hi yvonne
thank you for the comforting message. i know in my heart mitch and god will bless me with another child i just know it. mitch was so happy and proud in that dream it was almost to real. thank you for sharing noelles momms story it gives me such comfort
take care
love abbie
«♥Angel Mitchell♥» <afraser1@tru.eastlink.ca>
- Sunday, June 20, 2004 8:37 PM CDT

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Dear Yvonne and Family,

Thank you very much for come signing on Esther's site. We are really sorry for writing to you so late. Actually, we have been keeping up with Leilani's site since a while ago. Your posting has been encourageous to us a lot. However, whenever we see Leilani's pictures, we just can't stop our tears. She is such an amazing and wonderful girl. No words really can describe how we feel sorrow for her, just as much as we do to our Esther. Your parable of "prison" is exactly right.

On the other hand, we also know both Leilani and Esther and other kids are all joyful in Heaven with their dear Heavenly Father who is much better and loves these children much more than we do on earth. This really our comfort and peace which encourages us to share gospel.

I shared some children's stories during last Sunday service in our church. Leilani was on one of the slides. Many people were deeply touched by the life of these brave children. All congregation prayed together for your family as well for the others. It's such a beautiful thing for us being able to pray for one another, isn't it!?

Please let both our families to keep supporting each other by prayers in Him.

(www.caringbridge.org/oh/esther/)
Benjamin, Paulina, Erin (Forever Family with Esther) <Mercy2Live@yahoo.com>
Fairborn, OH US - Sunday, June 20, 2004 1:51 AM CDT

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You have truly been a blessing to me and an inspiration to fulfill my purpose in serving our holy and precious Saviour. Thanks for sharing your pain and love with others. I love you and admire your willingness to go on and serve the Lord.
Shannon Lindsay <rnlindsay@yahoo.com>
Mount Airy, NC USA - Thursday, June 17, 2004 5:28 AM CDT

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Amen, amen, amen! Your entry blessed me. I have been looking for a way to describe what being a bereaved mother is like. The analogy of the prison was perfect. I have said that it feels like being on punishment as a kid but never having any hope of the punishiment ever ending. I haven't even updated Adrienne's page lately because it just hurts. It just hurts all the time. I'll write more later. Gotta go!
Adrienne's mom, Nichelle http://www.caringbridge.org/tx/adrienne <rejoice_first_lady@yahoo.com>
Cedar Park, TX USA - Tuesday, June 15, 2004 12:07 AM CDT

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hello..A little birdie told me you needed a friendly hello. so sorry i have not signed in more lately.. Hope all is getting better and the good weather keeps up your spirits.

Always in our thoughts, prayers and hearts!!
~*~Samantha's Story~*~

karen n sammi <mpbowler1@aol.com>
- Monday, June 14, 2004 8:51 PM CDT

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Oh Yvonne,
I was sitting here at home tonight, alone, and decided I needed to connect with others like me, grieving their precious babies, and I went straight here. What a beautiful testimony of faith. I'm like you, I have been feeling like I have no real purpose anymore. I mean I have 2 other children but they are teenagers. They don't need me the way that Zach did. Next Monday it will be 10 months. We are creeping up on a year and it is hurting more today than it did 10 months ago. I miss my Zach so much. Your message was so beautiful. Thank you very much.
Misti Herrera-mother of angel Zach <dmherrera@pvtnetworks.net or mherrera@technetmedical.com>
Artesia, NM USA - Thursday, June 10, 2004 10:27 PM CDT

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Dear Yvonne,

Thank you so much for visiting Katherine's site. Your words really helped me. Please know that you and your family are in my prayers.

Leilani sounds like she was an amazing little girl. Her pictures show such a happy, beautiful spirit. If Katherine does become an Angel, I have a feeling Katherine and her will play in Heaven together.

I am glad to hear you found a new church home. It took me 7 years to pick one in Houston. Sometimes it takes a while to find one that really clicks. Fortunately, we found our church before all of this started with Kat.

Love,
Diana Cross, Mother of Katherine http://www.caringbridge.org/tx/katherinecross/ <diana@houston.rr.com>
Houston, - Thursday, June 10, 2004 10:15 PM CDT

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Yvonne, thank you for the special blessing of Monday's journal entry! I pray our Lord continue to abundantly bless you and others through you.
Yolanda Rogers <galatians5@truevine.net>
Altamonte Springs, FL USA - Wednesday, June 9, 2004 9:09 PM CDT

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Yvonne, I am visiting from another Caringbridge site. I have read about your beautiful Leilani on Savannah's site too. I was inspired by your journal entry tonight. What a wonderful feeling of hope you have shared. Your family will be in my prayers and I pray you will find peace and hope in your new church family.

Michelle and Ben (28 mos.), PBT List
www.caringbridge.org/va/benjamin
Michelle Hawkins <michellehawkins3@yahoo.com>
Ashburn, VA - Monday, June 7, 2004 11:07 PM CDT

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Hi Yvonne,

I just came for a visited to see how you were doing and to let you know that your in my prayers, love from Kim m/o Newest Angel Michelle

Michelle's Site

Michelle and Leilani should get along, because Michelle loves cats as well. She left behind 2 earthly cat RawRaw and Blackie.
Kimberley Clayton <michelle9kim@yahoo.ca>
Guelph, ON, Canada - Tuesday, June 1, 2004 2:19 AM CDT

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THINKING OF YOU AND YOUR SADNESS. I AM SO GLAD YOU HAVE GOD IN YOUR LIFE. WHAT WOULD WE BE WITHOUT HIM?!!! HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT SECOND YEAR IN NURSING. SEE IF YOU CAN KEEP CHRISTIE STRAIGHT!! I AM PROUD OF YOU BOTH. GOD BLESS YOU!
KAYE JOYCE (CHRISTIE EDWARDS' MOM <Kayej09@yahoo.com>
MOUNT AIRY, NC - Monday, May 31, 2004 8:58 AM CDT

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Hello, just dropping by to send a hug to you









Love Viks on behalf of everyone at Post Pals


viks <viks@postpals.co.uk>
- Sunday, May 30, 2004 4:55 PM CDT

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Dear Yvonne,

I see you follow some of the same CB families that I do. I, too, was shocked by Maddie's death. I had not been to her site for a while because I had wrongly assumed she was doing well (and I follow too many sites). She also happens to live within walking distance of our home. I never met her and now I regret so much not taking that opportunity.

I also noted what you wrote about the beauty of nature. I still recognize all nature as God's beautiful palette...yet such beauty brings me pain because Gabbie is not here.

I also see more clearly our truly fallen world. Faster and faster the decline...does anyone notice??

While I am sorry we share the pain of the death of a child, I am joyful that you and I share the same Savior. Where oh where would we be without Jesus!!

Keep pressing on, Yvonne. Because a glorious new beginning awaits us.

Love and God Bless,
Gabbie's Mama
Monica Paquette <mj.paquette@att.net>
Minneapolis, MN - Sunday, May 30, 2004 9:42 AM CDT

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Yvonne, I loved reading your site. Leilani was a lucky girl to have such a loving family. She was just a beautiful girl. I will keep you all in my prayers.

www.caringbridge.com/mi/sammijean
Ellen Robertson <Hellen177@aol.com>
Wyandotte, MI USA - Sunday, May 30, 2004 9:16 AM CDT

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Thinking of you and sending continued prayers of peace and comfort.

Much love...
Terry Snyder (Angel Jalen's "Am-Maw") http://www.caringbridge.org/fl/jalen <vix207@aol.com>
Royal Palm Beach, FL - Saturday, May 29, 2004 9:13 PM CDT

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hi Yvonne
just in to let you know i was thinking of you, i was just as shocked reading abour maddie ans savannah too. im sure leilani and mitch are showing them all the wonderful things.
love abbie

«♥Mitchell♥» <afraser1@tru.eastlink.ca>
- Thursday, May 27, 2004 4:24 PM CDT

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Hi Yvonne,

I have not posted it yet on my web site but i will. the poems in the funeral mass. blessed. fr charlie read a sad cancer one followed by yours. he then read departing words from me to savannah. that was the whole homily. he said there was nothing he could say to make it more powerful, everything was covered. thank you. thank you for showing us in the middle of tragedy we can find peace and realize how truly blessed we are. i love you.
lisa www.caringbridge.org/ar/savannah <m-lhurley@centurytel.net>
russellville, ar usa - Thursday, May 27, 2004 9:32 AM CDT

---

Thank you so much for signing Kaidrie's guestbook. What a beautiful girl Leilani is. She surely is beautifying heaven. We'll be checking in to see how you're doing. You're in our thoughts and prayers.
((hugs))

Amber & Kaidrie <utahmomto2@aol.com>
SLC, UT - Monday, May 24, 2004 0:10 AM CDT

---

i am so so sorry i have not checked in lately..or sign in i should say....my computer was down for a long time.....i could read up on everyone but could not sign the books....

know your always in our thoughts!!
~*~Samantha's Story~*~

"our hearts still ache in sadness
and secret tears still flow
what it meant to lose you
no one will ever know!!"
karen n sammi <mpbowler1@aol.xcom>
- Monday, May 17, 2004 8:50 PM CDT

---

Mothers Day Prayer

I Pray for you that on this special Mothers day,
God fills your heart in a truley beautiful way.
And may, He in His reach from heaven above,
Flow the wonderful family spirit, of His love.
I pray He grant, truley sweet and Angelic care,
That you may know, He is, always there.
I pray within God's great vast Love for you
In life, daily onward, In all that you may do,
You feel His love, His strength, His peace,
This Mothers Day blesses a spiritual release.

Have a Blessed Mothers Day

Chris Ullrich - Bella's Grammy <c_ullrich@msn.com, caringbridge.com/page/isabellaledesma>
- Thursday, May 6, 2004 7:27 PM CDT

---

yvonne,
savannah has gone to heaven. she is at peace and fully healed of the beast. we hurt but are okay. happy in a way. she is with God. she knew Leilani would meet her and be her playmate.

she passed away with mommy, jerry, and Father Charlie present. it was perfect. i don't think it could have been smooth any other way. your Blessed poem will be read at the funeral. Father Charlie held back tears as he read it. one of your many gifts, sweetie. love to you and your family.
lisa www.caringbridge.org/ar/savannah <m-lhurley@centurytel.net>
russellville, ar usa - Saturday, May 1, 2004 6:55 PM CDT

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Hello Yvonne-
Just wanted to sign your guestbook as I have been here several times before. I LOVE THE HOME PAGE PIC OF THE ANGEL WITH THE KITTY !!!!!! Oh, Alexandria would LOVE that. I'll have to get with you later on where you got it. Your daughter is so beautiful and I have NO doubt in my mind that my nine year old daughter and her are good friends in heaven with much in common.......most importantly the love of kitties. Sounds like you are one busy person. Thanks for your last wonderful entry. I just don't get the people who come to CB sites to criticize. I suppose they have never had a child suffer and succumb to their disease.
Please feel free to contact me any time.
Hugs-
Alison
mom to Angel Alexandria
www.caringbridge.com/page/alexandriasangels
Alison Haddock <alisonhaddock@charter.net>
Saint Louis, MO - Saturday, May 1, 2004 5:12 PM CDT

---

Hi Yvonne - Celeste got her pkg today... could you feel the giggles ? ? ? She liked the box more than anything LOL The pictures are awesome... she's using it for crafts in her room... We love you. We're going to be at Kure Beach... week of June 5... maybe we can meet up somehow... if not, one of these days :) My dad lives in Knoxville... we go about once or twice a year that way...
Love & lots of (((hugs)))
Tami & Celeste xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo <blessingsbyceleste@hotmail.com>
pgh, pa - Friday, April 30, 2004 3:09 PM CDT

---

Hi lil sis, we have some friends that will be coming to meet you real soon. Can you take care of them for us until we can all get there to help you? Love Chance


Big Bro to Mitchell, Connor and any one else who wants me
Chance <harleyga@bellsouth.net>
Ga USA - Wednesday, April 21, 2004 3:25 PM CDT

---

Hi Yvonne,

I came in from Savannah site. Your have a very loving site. I think the poem to your daughter are very beautiful written. Will be praying for you, love Kim m/o Michelle

http://www.caringbridge.org/canada/michelle

Kimberley Clayton <michelle9kim@yahoo.ca>
Guelph, ON, Canada - Tuesday, April 20, 2004 9:53 PM CDT

---

Yvonne,
First let me say, I'm so sorry that Leilani had to leave this earth much to early. My heart breaks for all of the Momma's that have to deal with losing a child. It's my worst nightmare. I pray for all of you daily. May our Lord give you peace until you hold your precious children again in Heaven.

I visited Chance's site daily. I'm a Grandmother and found so much inspiration from that child's wisdom and strength. You said it all so very well.
Additionally I have no doubt that this is an attack from Satan. He doesn't bother the one's that are already living for him. Just the one's that have pure hearts.
Whomever the person is that has caused this child so much grief, I pray the Holy Spirit works towards an end to their harassment. Chance will no doubt gain something from all this. Be it wisdom, faith, strength, or one of the many gifts from God. When they mess with Chance, the're messing with one of "God All Mightys" children. So look out trouble makers!

Hang in there Yvonne, and remember that Jesus loves you always.

Machele
The Akers Family <MacheleAkers@aol.com>
Tornado, WV USA - Saturday, April 17, 2004 10:45 PM CDT

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hey..if anyone needs any cookware or kitchen items come check out sammi's site...and if you order 40% of all sales will be donated to the American Cancer Society..so you can help out sammi, the society plus get great kitchen items all at the same time.....enjoy!!

~*~Samantha's Story~*~
karen and sammi <mpbowler1@aol.com>
- Sunday, April 11, 2004 9:45 PM CDT

---

Thinking of you this Easter, Love everyone at Post Pals






viks <viks@postpals.co.uk>
- Saturday, April 10, 2004 5:24 PM CDT

---

hi Yvonne
thankyou for coming in to sign mitchs guestbook, i always love to hear from you. i can feel me tense already with mitch 1 st anniversary coming but i can do it, with the love of friends family and mitch by my side i will be ok. we will be together some day only god knows when but hes in great hands !!
love abbie
«♥Angel Mitchell♥» <afraser1@tru.eastlink.ca>
- Friday, April 9, 2004 7:46 PM CDT

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just making the rounds and wanted to say hello to one of our favorite families...hope your having a good day and hope that whichever holiday.....Passover or easter..you celebrate( if any) is a good one for your family!!

~*~Samantha's Story~*~

karen and sammi <mpbowler1@aol.com>
- Monday, April 5, 2004 8:23 PM CDT

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WHERE DO BALLOONS GO WHEN YOU SET THEM FREE???

Where do balloons go when you set them free??
do they float into the clouds or get stuck in a tree?
do they fly high in the sky or get popped by a bee?
do they soar witht he birds and the bugs in the air...
or stay close to the ground and get chased by a bear?
does the wind blow them out over the big blue ocean..
or do they climb up and over samll hills and big mountains??

Do they go out into space and circle the stars and then
fall back to earth after traveling so far??
or does GOD collect them all in a big bouquet and give them to the children in heaven each day??
where do balloons go when you set them free?
I hope they go to heaven as a gift for you from me!!


We went to a special event recently and were allowed to hear this poem. then we sent out one balloon for all all our angel friends...one name on each one. wanted you to know your little angel now has it.

always in our thoughts prayers and hearts..now and forever

~*~Samantha's Story~*~


karen and sammi <mpbowler1@aol.com>
- Tuesday, March 30, 2004 5:39 PM CST

---

Hi lil sis in Heaven I see where your mom has been talking about me. Seems people like to do that and I am not even in trouble LOL. Sis Maxie and Crystal Rose are there can you show them around? Love Chance

Big Bro to Mitchell, Connor and any one else who wants me
Chance <harleyga@bellsouth.net>
Ga USA - Sunday, March 28, 2004 3:31 PM CST

---

"The Strength of an Egg"

Parents of children with cancer are often referred to or viewed as having "strength like a rock". Albeit flattering it is not quite true. It is more like the strength of an egg. An egg you ask? Yes!
If you'll think about it, you'll see my point.

An egg has a polished, smooth outer appearance, with no cracks or weak spots visible. It seems almost inconceivable that the inside might not be
as smooth or solid.

Most children, at some point, are shown the famous egg trick. An egg set at just the right angle can withstand enormous amounts of pressure and cannot be cracked or broken. Yet the same egg, tapped gently at an even
slightly different angle, will break. The contents, once so neatly concealed, will come spilling out. The no-longer perfect shell will be crushed. It looks so fragile that it seems inconceivable that it ever held any strength.

A rock, on the other hand is solid all the way through. To break it is almost impossible. If you succeed, you will find that there is nothing inside but more rock. It takes a lot more than pure hardness to hold the "HAND OF HOPE".

Parents of children with cancer are not solid all the way through. We hurt, we fear, we cry, we hope. It takes a very careful balancing act to keep the shell from being shattered. "Balancing an egg" while running a household,
going for doctors' visits and hospital stays, keeping the family together, and holding on to the constantly unraveling ties of your sanity can be very tricky indeed!

Occasionally, the angle will be off and the shell will break, shattering hope and the neatly secured appearances of a truly fragile existence. Unlike Humpty Dumpty, though, parents of children with cancer will pick
themselves up and put themselves back together again.


always in out thoughts, hearts and prayers..today and forever!!!
~*~Samantha's Story~*~

karen and sammi <mpbowler1@aol.com>
- Friday, March 26, 2004 9:01 PM CST

---

Dear Yvonne

I have come across your daughters web site several times and you have blessed me in many ways. I can tell that you do have a PURE Heart. In Matthew 5 it does say, "Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God." I know that you shall see the Lord Jesus Christ and your sweet daughter again. Keep on encouraging people. You are such a great blessing to me and alot of people!

Thank you for your prayers for all of these families!

In His Name

Karla Hester <tkhester@cswnet.com>
Centerville, Ar us - Friday, March 26, 2004 3:59 PM CST

---

Dear Yvonne,

I am glad you survived the surgery. I love the new background/border and as soon as I saw the kitty, I remembered that Leilani loved kitties!!

That glorious day shall come. Thank you for sharing Jesus.

Love,
Gabbie's Mama
Monica Paquette <mj.paquette@att.net>
Minneapolis, MN - Friday, March 19, 2004 8:11 PM CST

---

Yvonne,
I am so glad you are recouperating well. Yes, you are still needed here. I understand the not wanting a skinny mommy. I always wanted my Oma large. So much to love, so much to cuddle with. Honestly, as a child, I thought children with thin grandmas really missed out. And more honestly (not to offend anyone) I still do. You go where nature takes you. You are in my prayers. And you have my heart. Always will. You heal and we will be fine in the interim.

Love to you.
lisa www.caringbridge.org/ar/savannah <m-lhurley@centurytel.net>
russellville, ar usa - Wednesday, March 17, 2004 6:35 PM CST

---

Yvonne - hey there 'skinny' gal! That's wonderful that the surgery went smoothly... I was going to e-mail you but didn't want to bother you. Just when I was really starting to wonder, you updated! Thank you so much for keeping us posted. Surely you will have success with the gastric bypass. I, like you, have always been a 'big' woman (hehe) but am completely comfortable with it. But, when it causes problems, like it has for me as well - it's time to do something and good for you for taking the strength to do it. Now, I'd like to be able to exercise again without pain :) but that's a whole different story... anyhow, through all the crap we've been through, you have been there with words that have made it so much easier - in turn, helping me to help Celeste on her journey. She's had it so rough and it just stinks. She had a good scan but there's so much to worry about still. Then I thought about what you once said in our guestbook (I think this every single day at least 10 times) - don't worry about the what if's! You have no idea how blessed I feel to know you. Thanks for sharing Leilani's light with us. Knowing that we will all be together in heaven one day gives me the strength to face each new day, even when it's not easy to get out of bed. That's our one truth to follow. Love you,
Tami, Celeste's mommy <blessingsbyceleste@hotmail.com>
pgh, pa - Tuesday, March 16, 2004 10:09 PM CST

---

YVONNE, I AM SO GLAD YOUR SURGERY IS OVER AND IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU ARE DOING GREAT. CHRISTIE HAS BEEN KEEPING ME INFORMED. HOPE ALL YOUR HEALTH PROBLEMS DISAPPEAR. LEILANI WOULD BE PROUD OF HER BEAUTIFUL MOMMY. GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.
KAYE JOYCE <Kayej09@yahoo.com>
MT. AIRY, , NC USA - Monday, March 15, 2004 8:33 PM CST

---

Hi Yvonne,

I haven't heard from you in quite a while. I hope that your surgery was successful. I pray that Jose is experiencing the peace and comfort of the Lord. Call me sometime when you're up to it!

Blessings,

Nichelle
Adrienne's mom, Nichelle <rejoice_first_lady@yahoo.com>
Cedar Park, TX USA - Monday, March 15, 2004 2:56 PM CST

---

wanted to stop in and wish your family a happy St.Pats day no matter what your background is. may the luck of the irish bring you peace of heart!!!

always in our hearts, thoughts and prayers...today tomorrow and always!!

~*~Samantha's Story~*~

karen and sammi <mpbowler1@aol.com>
- Sunday, March 14, 2004 9:10 PM CST

---

Hi Yvonne
As always its so nice to hear from you. i love the thought that you come to read all about mitch just like i do leiani. its funny im sure they are both just rolling over the clouds playing there pranks. i can just picture it them too peeking down laughing saying look what there doing now !!
thinking of you often
abbie
«♥Angel Mitchell♥» <afraser1@tru.eastlink.ca>
- Tuesday, March 9, 2004 5:47 PM CST

---

im sure you must get bored of hearing it, and i wish i could find something more orginal to say, but i AM thinking of you,






Love viks from BWC and Post Pals



viks <viks@postpals.co.uk>
- Tuesday, March 9, 2004 3:45 AM CST

---

Dear Yvonne,

I'm so sorry about your mother-in-law but what a testament from your family that there is joy in knowing she is in heaven because she accepted the Lord as her Savior nine years ago. THAT IS THE BEST GIFT WE COULD EVER LEAVE TO THOSE WHO STAY BEHIND. THAT WE ARE HIS!!!

I hope your surgery went well. I understand your concern as I too understand that complications can arise.

Thank you for sharing Jesus.

God bless,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabbie, and Noah
Monica Paquette <mj.paquette@att.net>
Minneapolis, MN - Sunday, March 7, 2004 8:25 AM CST

---

Dear Heavenly Father, I pray that you will comfort Jose and his family during this painful time in their life. I pray that you will reveal yourself to them as the God of all comfort. Please, Lord, bless Yvonne's surgery and bring her safely home so that she can finish the ministry you've given her to Jose, Xavier, and Noah. She will be with Leilani forever once she gets there, so give her patience to finish her work here. And if I may be a little silly and selfish, please send them here to Texas. I need them (smile).

In Jesus' precious name.

Amen

Adrienne's mom, Nichelle <rejoice_first_lady@yahoo.com>
Cedar Park, TX USA - Thursday, March 4, 2004 11:46 PM CST

---

Yvonne,
I am so sorry to hear of your family's loss, and thrilled to hear of heaven's gain. That is wonderful that she is saved and is now with Jesus and your precious Leilani.
I also just wanted to let you know that you are in our prayers. I hope everthing goes well for you. If you need anything at all while you are recovering just let me know. My number is 786-8401. Wishing you the best of health.

Love in Christ,
Christie <nursegalnc@yahoo.com>
Mt. Airy, NC USA - Wednesday, March 3, 2004 8:29 AM CST

---

Hii!! You don't know me, i came to your site through the MANY other caring bridge sites. There really are too many sites and sick children with this disease... I just wanted to wish you a good surgery. I read your entries about your memories of your angel and i have to say, you are a funny woman! I couldn't get that Baby back song out of my head! I wish your family a happy life with many happy memories!
Jenn Hartley <ronjenn696@prodigy.net>
bensalem, pa usa - Wednesday, March 3, 2004 7:56 AM CST

---

Dear Yvonne,

Thank you for the information!! I'm sorry you are going through so much...and always in the pain of Leilani's absence.

I really wish we lived close to each other.

God bless and love,
Gabbie's Mama
Monica Paquette <mj.paquette@att.net>
Minneapolis, MN - Saturday, February 28, 2004 5:17 PM CST

---

Dear Yvonne,

"God is my medicine." What a blessing from God to see such faith in a child. One of my friends calls these "signals of grace" from God for our departed children.

OK, I have a question for you. I right-clicked on many of your images and then clicked on "properties" and it looks like you have them stored on CaringBridge pages?? Just wondering how you did that.

Thinking of you and waiting, waiting for the day that Jesus calls me home.

Love and God bless,
Gabbie's Mama
Monica Paquette <mj.paquette@att.net>
Minneapolis, MN - Wednesday, February 25, 2004 4:20 PM CST

---

YVONNE, I CHECK YOUR SITE A LOT AND I THINK IT SO BEAUTIFUL. YOU HAVE DONE A GREAT JOB AND I KNOW LEILANI WOULD LOVE WHAT YOU HAVE DONE. MY DAUGHTER CHRISTIE IS IN NURSING CLASSES WITH YOU AND SHE TALKS ABOUT WHAT A WONDERFUL LADY YOU ARE. I KNOW YOU WILL MAKE A GREAT NURSE. GOD BE WITH YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.
KAYE JOYCE <Kayej09@yahoo.com>
MOUNT AIRY, NC - Tuesday, February 24, 2004 12:52 AM CST

---

so sorry we have not visited lately..now that school is back in session i will have more time.Hope all is well.

your always in our thoughts prayers and hearts!!

~*~ Samantha's Story ~*~

karen and sammi <mpbowler1@aol.com>
- Monday, February 23, 2004 8:24 PM CST

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Hey Yvonne, I have missssssssed you! You are NEVER very far away from my thoughts and, subsequently, my prayers. Loved your 2/4 journal entry. AND...now I have the "Chili's" song stuck in my head! The girls must be rolling with laughter! Yes, I too keep looking around, seeing the signs of the times and praying for so many, many lost young souls. It tears my heart. They appear to have it all . . .straight teeth, dancing lessons, cd player, perfect complexion . . .but no God. Their beautiful eyes framed with kohl are empty. Oh, Yvonne, even if I could for a moment, I cannot, even though my flesh wants to soooo much, I would not pray Anna back. Praise, praise God for His grace and mercy Who now keeps them in Glory!
Yolanda Rogers, Mom to Anna, http://www.galatians5.com <galatians5@truevine.net>
Altamonte Springs, FL USA - Friday, February 20, 2004 6:53 AM CST

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Hi Yvonne: I visit all the time, but rarely sign. But today, two things struck me. First of all, your border is absolutely BEAUTIFUL! I am sure you have noticed that the little girl in the border looks like YOUR precious angel. I tell you, I was IMMEDIATELY struck by that. What a gorgeous choice for your lovely page. Secondly, the "baby back ribs song" - man, that was so cute!! Keeping you close in thought and always in prayer.

God bless, Eileen
www.caringbridge.org/il/ej
EJ's Caring Place
- Wednesday, February 18, 2004 5:22 PM CST

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your in out thoughts prayers and hearts..today tomorrow and always....~*~Samantha's Story~*~

karen and sammi <mpbolwer1@aol.com>
- Monday, February 16, 2004 9:08 AM CST

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Hi Yvonne - Celeste never ceases to amaze me with her insight either. She's got more wisdom or years to her than any 4 year old I've ever met... much less many adults! We're all children anyway but I guess some of us absorb what we should in less time and some of us have things to do while we wait for the 'absorbing' to be done. I wonder, how much I'm supposed to absorb? There we go... like you say about the 'baby back' song.. I just thought of the Sponge treatment from when Spongebob had the suds... one of Celeste's favorite episodes... too funny...

Love you, Tami
http://www.caringbridge.org/pa/celeste <blessingsbyceleste@hotmail.com>
pgh, pa - Monday, February 16, 2004 0:29 AM CST

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Stopped by to extend a HAPPY VALENTINE wish to you and yours. GOD BLESS. Sending lots of love from above - ANGEL COLBY JAMES COLE AND CREW.
(forever missing our precious angels)
jack - colby's daddy forever and ever
www.caringbridge.org/pa/colby, UNIONTOWN PA USA - Friday, February 13, 2004 2:31 PM CST

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Happy Valentines Day our special family.....may you feel the love that surrounds you each and every day...your in our hearts thoughts and prayers..today tommorow and always!! May god bless you and your family and keep you safe.....

~*~ Samantha's Story ~*~

karen and sammi <mpbowler1@aol.com>
- Thursday, February 12, 2004 8:54 PM CST

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Hey Yvonne,
Just wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts tonight. Keep on going girl, you are great!!

Love in Christ,
Christie Edwards <cmedwards8401@rjia.net>
Mt. Airy, NC USA - Monday, February 9, 2004 8:31 PM CST

---

Yvonne! I have been SOOOOO busy, I can't even think straight. I miss talking with you. I hope the Lord gives Jose a dream and says, "Moooove to Teeeeexas" (smile). When I saw your picture with you and Noah I just wanted to reach out and hug you because you've been SUCH I blessing in my life. I talk about you all the time. My sister, I can hardly wait until the day we have our sweet girls in our arms again, but I will never be complete until my whole family is in the arms of Jesus. If I left here for Heaven tomorrow, I would miss my hubby, Brandice, Tre' and Charis there like I miss my Adrienne here. I wonder if Heaven is like that. My grandmother is with the son she lost 12 years ago. She missed him so much while she was here. Now I wonder if she misses the rest of us just as much, waiting for us to get there. I guess none of us will be complete until the Rapture. Even so, come, Lord Jesus!

Blessings,

Nichelle
Adrienne's mom, Nichelle: http://www.caringbridge.org/tx/adrienne <rejoice_first_lady@yahoo.com>
Cedar Park, TX USA - Wednesday, February 4, 2004 11:20 AM CST

---

Yvonne! I have been SOOOOO busy, I can't even think straight. I miss talking with you. I hope the Lord gives Jose a dream and says, "Moooove to Teeeeexas" (smile). When I saw your picture with you and Noah I just wanted to reach out and hug you because you've been SUCH I blessing in my life. I talk about you all the time. My sister, I can hardly wait until the day we have our sweet girls in our arms again, but I will never be complete until my whole family is in the arms of Jesus. If I left here for Heaven tomorrow, I would miss my hubby, Brandice, Tre' and Charis there like I miss my Adrienne here. I wonder if Heaven is like that. My grandmother is with the son she lost 12 years ago. She missed him so much while she was here. Now I wonder if she misses the rest of us just as much, waiting for us to get there. I guess none of us will be complete until the Rapture. Even so, come, Lord Jesus!

Blessings,

Nichelle
Adrienne's mom, Nichelle: http://www.caringbridge.org/tx/adrienne <rejoice_first_lady@yahoo.com>
Cedar Park, TX USA - Tuesday, February 3, 2004 9:44 PM CST

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Yvonne - stopping by to say hi. I think about you just about all day, every day. There never is a day that passes that I don't. I just read your post on Savannah's site and I had to stop by. (I do stop by but don't always post...been trying to find time to e-mail you...) Anyway, in the world of moms, you are up there with the best, best, best and please, please, please never regret anything about how you treated your baby's situation. I've had to let go of that stuff because we all have those thoughts. There will always be other medicines or treatments that we 'should' have tried... poly mva... burzynski... I mean, there is a big list of things that we haven't done that continue to give some kids excellent results. Some things that we probably couldn't find if we searched the world that people are doing which we are unaware of. We just do what's in our hearts because the love for our babies is so true and real. Then we have to listen to the doctors too and weigh all that out. Leilani is at a state of comfort that is uncomprehensible to us yet. I have to be here doing my daily things but look forward to the light in His arms. There is no tumor or cancer on this earth that can take away love that ties us together always. That's why I keep a certain passage in my sight at all times - love bears all things. That said, love ya -
Tami (Celeste's mom) <blessingsbyceleste@hotmail.com>
pgh, pa - Monday, February 2, 2004 3:44 AM CST

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Dear Yvonne,

I hope it is not too late to say that I am sorry for your loss. This is a beautiful page. May He who consoles all mourners, comfort you in your time of need.

Eileen H. Kramer/Roanna
ehkuhall7@tacheiru.every1.net
http://tacheiru.us/unfettered

Eileen H. Kramer/Roanna <ehkuhall7@tacheiru.every1.net>
Columbus, GA USA - Sunday, February 1, 2004 2:43 PM CST

---

Yvonne,
I just checked out your site and I had to tell you how beautiful Leilani is. I know you and your family must miss her terribly but I am glad to see that you know you will see her again one day. She would be so proud of you for what you are doing. You are going to be a great nurse. You all are in my prayers!!
Christie Edwards <cmedwards8401@rjia.net>
Mt. Airy , NC USA - Thursday, January 29, 2004 5:05 PM CST

---

hope all is well at your end..we are getting ready for 8-12 inches of snow over the next 24 hours...i hope school is not canceled for tomorrow!!

stay well...your in our thought prayers and hearts
( we added a new name/link drop down box on the site)
~*~ Samantha's Story ~*~

karen and sammi <mpbowler1@aol.com>
- Sunday, January 25, 2004 8:19 PM CST

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Hi Yvonne
i just stopped to say hello and read some more wonderful stories of leilani. that roll of film must of been a wondeful surprise,another great memory captured on film. thinking of you
abbie
«♥Angel Mitchell♥» <afraser1@tru.eastlink.ca>
tru, ns canada - Wednesday, January 21, 2004 8:28 PM CST

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It was a ery nice web page. you did aat job on it. Your girl is a very pretty. At least she is in the arms of Jesus.
sarah <sarah28334@yahoo.com>
nc - Wednesday, January 21, 2004 9:54 AM CST

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Hi Yvonne - your journal was just really very wonderful to read today. The film that you had developed was just such a blessing and thank you so for sharing with us. There are those days when everything is too much and it's the love from Celeste that keeps me going. My new motto - nothing, not even a brain tumor can ever, ever, ever take that love away. I just love to see Leilani's beautiful eyes and smile when I come here too. Those daisies in her hair and the 90% angel shirt. What a beautiful angel. You've blessed me by sharing - I just love you! (((HUGS)))
Tami (Celeste's proud mommy) <blessingsbyceleste@hotmail.com>
pittsburgh, pa - Monday, January 19, 2004 11:59 PM CST

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just wanted to stop in and say hello to your family. your always in our thoughts and prayers

~*~ Samantha's Story ~*~

karen and sammi <mpbowler1@aol.com>
- Thursday, January 15, 2004 1:29 PM CST

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Hi Yvonne - just stopping by to say hello and to send you (((HUGS))). Take care and God bless,
Tami <blessingsbyceleste@hotmail.com>
- Tuesday, January 13, 2004 5:28 PM CST

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wanted you to know we were thinking of you today and are sending all our love you way



~*~ Samantha's Story ~*~

karen and sammi <mpbolwer1@aol.com>
- Saturday, January 10, 2004 6:10 PM CST

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Hello Yvonne,

I am so sorry to hear about your mother-in-law. And what a trip that was. Your journal entry was very descriptive and I really can understand how awful that must have been. (I'm on meds too--but mine are more for anxiety as Gabbie's death makes my mind spin too fast.)

You know, I may just make it out to North Carolina someday. I would love to meet you.

I know you miss your Leilani so very, very much. Eternity can seem so far away but even so time marches on and it will happen.

Thinking of you, Leilani, and blue dragonflies.

Love,
Gabbie's Mama, Monica
Monica Paquette <mj.paquette@att.net>
Minneapolis, MN - Thursday, January 8, 2004 6:45 PM CST

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just a quck hello for the new year to let you know that we are thinking of you and praying each day...

***SAMANTHAS SITE***
karen and sammi
- Saturday, January 3, 2004 12:51 AM CST

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Hi Yvonne - sorry to hear about the trip's disasterous outcomes... while I have never been stranded in Mexico City, I have been in similarly hapless situations on vacation.... okay, sometimes my life seems like one big hapless situation :) but that's a whole different story...

I am glad that you and your family are back in one piece!! You are truly a blessing to us... and I hope that you and your family have the blessed New Year full of peace that you deserve. I would like to send the biggest ((((HUG)))) with that wish. Take care,
Tami <blessingsbyceleste@hotmail.com>
pgh, pa - Friday, January 2, 2004 10:44 PM CST

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Yvonne,

I saw your posting on Hope's guestbook and I wanted to come by and meet your family. I was sorry to hear of the loss of Leilani. It is wonderful that despite your family's loss you still take the time to go by other children's websites and say prays for them. Thank you for taking the time to care.

Take Care & Stay Strong,


Laura Hinkle <lhinkle@carolina.rr.com>
Weddington, NC USA - Friday, January 2, 2004 1:45 PM CST

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just stopping in to wish you a happy holiday season. its a time for remembering our little miracles and beliving in the angels around us.
karen and sammi www.caringbridge.org/ny/sammip <mpbowler1@aol.com>
- Tuesday, December 23, 2003 9:15 PM CST

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Ivonne,
I went to see the pictures you put in this web page,
I never saw the one with Lelani and you.
When I saw that picture I could not hold it,
I cried...
I never new Lelani, but I do know this that she is
an angle right now.
May God bring you peace and happiness.
Say hi to everybody especially Noah.
Hug and kisses!!!

ELisa
Nacogdoches, TX Nacogdoches - Tuesday, December 23, 2003 4:07 PM CST

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Hi Ivonne,
Thankyou for the Christmas card you send me. The one where Lelani is , I put it up in my office. I told a friend about Lelani. She said to tell you that you had a beautiful girl.
Hope you and your family have a very Merry Christmas...
God bless you,
Lisa
ELisa Lopez
Nacogdoches, TX nacogdoches - Tuesday, December 23, 2003 3:57 PM CST

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Yvonne...I'm sorry to hear the latest news. Please know I'm thinking of all of you and keeping you close in prayer.

Much love...
Terry Snyder (Angel Jalen's "Am-Maw") http://www.caringbridge.org/fl/jalen <vix207@aol.com>
Royal Palm Beach, FL - Monday, December 22, 2003 9:19 PM CST

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Yvonne!
Alvin and I were going to try and call you and Jose before you left, but we kept missing the time. We didn't want to call too late because we're an hour behind you. Anyway, when you do get a chance to read this message, please know that your trip has been "lathered" in prayer. We pray that God's peace be with you throughout everything. Alvin wants to try and talk to Jose sometime -- bereaved dad to bereaved dad. Let me know when you get back!

Blessings,

Nichelle
Adrienne's mom, Nichelle: http://www.caringbridge.org/tx/adrienne <rejoice_first_lady@yahoo.com>
Cedar Park, TX USA - Saturday, December 20, 2003 9:10 AM CST

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hi yvonne,
through your tears are you strong my friend. the gift from God to help you heal. oh yes, you are on overload right now. do what you need to. you allowed the tears. that is a strong person in my eyes.
lisa www.caringbridge.org/ar/savannah <m-lhurley@centurytel.net>
russellville, ar usa - Wednesday, December 17, 2003 7:52 PM CST

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...bronchitis, the flu, 5 exams, work ??? Oh - I'll be so glad for you to be done with school and aleviate some of that stress! Take care and I hope all goes well with the exams. Those feelings trapped inside will come out... glad to hear that some of them came out and you released some held back tears. I've struggled with the antidepressants too... Hang in there !!!! (((HUGS)))
Tami <blessingsbyceleste@hotmail.com>
pgh, pa - Tuesday, December 16, 2003 0:22 AM CST

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thought we would send some of our winter snow your way
sammi went outside yesterday to make snow angels. then she named each one for our lost friends. they are with us this holiday season...in our hearts and memories forever. peace be with you

www.caringbridge.org/ny/sammip
- Thursday, December 11, 2003 8:39 AM CST

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You're page is always inspirational to read. I check in often. I am sending Holiday Blessings your way. I am so sorry you don't have your sweet girl there to celebrate with you - though she is always there in spirit, it isn't the same. May Peace fill your heart and home. God bless.
Eileen --- www.caringbridge.org/il/ej - Please come by and visit--ALL are welcome
- Monday, December 8, 2003 11:52 PM CST

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Dear Yvonne,

I don't know why, maybe because you are all somewhere on the east coast, but I always pray for you, Yolanda, and Wendy at the same time.

You long for heaven and frequently write about your longing and joy for heaven. WE ARE SUPPOSED TO FOCUS OUR EYES ON HEAVEN!! And Jesus of course.

Thinking of you and praying for you. I know you miss Leilani. I am sure, however, that her eternal role is pure bliss.

Yvonne, there is a family that needs prayers. Are you familiar with Jaydog's site? (http://www.caringbridge.org/ca/jaydog) Please pray for this family.

God bless,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabbie, and Noah
Monica Paquette <mj.paquette@att.net>
Mpls, MN - Sunday, December 7, 2003 5:54 PM CST

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Yvonne,
Was writing out Christmas cards today and thought of you. Well, I actually think of you every day. I took the alarm clock to the office and bragged on you. Hope you had a good Thanksgiving. I had the most memorable one ever. Hope school is going well.
I love you,
Lisa www.caringbridge.org/ar/savannah
lisa hurley <m-lhurley@centurytel.com>
russellville, ar usa - Sunday, December 7, 2003 2:53 PM CST

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I hope that you had a happy Thanksgiving. I was sitting here thinking how lucky I am to know all the Caringbridge families. Your story and so many others give me to much faith and strength, I can't even explain it. Every website that I visit fills me with more hope... Wishing you the best of the holidays,
Maddie www.caringbridge.org/mn/maddie <madelinepaguyo@yahoo.com>
- Thursday, November 27, 2003 8:55 PM CST

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What a great experience you had for that man to offer a witnessing experience. His testimony is obviously of truth and God because you felt it. It comes from the heart. God bless you this Thanksgiving and for many more to come.


http://lightingchildrenslives.org
Melanie Davila- lighting Children's Lives <positivestories@aol.com>
- Thursday, November 27, 2003 11:55 AM CST

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wishing you and your angel good wishes on this thanksgiving day
karen and sammi www.caringbridge.org/ny/sammip <mpbowler1@aol.com>
- Wednesday, November 26, 2003 7:16 PM CST

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Hi Yvonne,

It seems like my life is a mirror of yours. Our old faithful dog, Cotton, died today. We got Cotton almost 15 years ago when she was only 6 weeks old. I also finished a BIG medical transcription test (77 pages long). I'm trying to finish as fast as I possibly can. Please continue to keep us in your prayers.
Adrienne's mom, Nichelle: http://www.caringbridge.org/tx/adrienne <rejoice_first_lady@yahoo.com>
Cedar Park, TX USA - Tuesday, November 25, 2003 5:47 PM CST

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Thinking of you...
Kasey Gunde <topgund@aol.com>
Mount Holly, NC US - Friday, November 21, 2003 7:57 PM CST

---

Hi Yvonne - I'm so glad to hear that you're feeling so blessed because you have blessed me with your presence and Lelani's light. God is good, and always reminds us when we need it the most... what an amazing thing to have a patient that will be sending such a wonderfully important message... what a beautiful thing to have met him! Oh, your new 'babies' sound adorable :) Take care and comfort in Him... we're always sending prayers and positive thoughts from here, your way and to Heaven,
Tami (Celeste's mommy) <blessingsbyceleste@hotmail.com>
pgh, pa - Tuesday, November 18, 2003 0:02 AM CST

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Yvonne,
Congrats on your new children.
I cried when I read about the gentleman who is going to give Leilani a message.
As far as the answering of prayers. So many of us have tunnel vision. Your eyes have been opened to the miracles God grants even though he called your daughter home. We may not get what we ask for the way we want it, but I do believe they are answered. We have to look.
I asked for my daughters life. He has given me almost 6 months, steriod free. He has given my 12 months since dx. I asked for strength and he sent hands like yours to reach out to me. I asked for peace and he let me watch my daughters sleep. We just have to look.
oh, I wrote about the alarm clock on Savannah's site.
Love to you,
Lisa www.caringbridge.org/ar/savannah

lisa hurley <lisa.hurley@centurytel.com>
russellville, ar usa - Friday, November 14, 2003 3:01 PM CST

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My Dear Friend,

I feel so blessed whenever I come to read your site and your wisdom! I am so glad for you that you had the opportunity to meet someone who is soon to go be with the Lord. He is so right that we need not fear death--although I sometimes admit I might fear the method of death.

I so much know the Truth, but need to learn mercy from people like you.

I heard you might be joining Khalita's mission...which I am joining too. It actually is an extension of what I had already started to do. This is so exciting.

I love you, Yvonne. I pray for you and know that you miss beautiful Leilani so very much.

God bless,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabbie, and Noah Gabriel
Monica Paquette <mj.paquette@worldnet.att.net>
Minneapolis, - Thursday, November 13, 2003 9:13 AM CST

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Yvonne,

I am so sorry to hear about Chili. I have a very special kitty (Raja.. my 'Rajilita baby') that is getting older and even lazier and lazier... if that's possible :) Yes, I almost envy her laidback life but love her for it. I don't even like to think about my special little friend leaving my feet when I'm washing the dishes or sitting here on the computer. My heart goes out to you! You're right, Leilani has one cute little special pup to play with in Heaven.
Tami <blessingsbyceleste@hotmail.com>
Pgh, PA - Friday, November 7, 2003 1:22 AM CST

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Dear, dear Yvonne,

I'm so sorry about Chili. I love animals, too. We only have an indoor cat so don't have to worry about car accidents.

I really am so sorry. I too can only hope that animals make it to heaven.

Love,
Monica
Monica Paquette <mj.paquette@worldnet.att.net>
Minneapolis, MN - Thursday, November 6, 2003 1:10 PM CST

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Oh Yvonne,
This is not a good week for pets. We adopted a kitten, Maddie just a couple weeks ago. When everyone got so sick, my friend took her so the girls could rest. He was so sick, so his friend took her so he could rest. Halloween evening she ran outside and got into the motor of a vehicle. Well, I thank God it was quick. There are some very compassionate people out there. Chances are they have, love, and adore animals themselves. I always joked in my next life I want to come back and live as a cat in my house. Silly silly silly. It's bad when you have to manouver around an animal in YOUR bed to keep from disturbing them in the middle of the night. I tell you, our animals have THE LIFE.

Don't think animals can go to heaven, the no soul thing. But I have to pull away from the norm here. If Savannah talks about Sindar (our old dog) and all our cats in heaven then they are there. They will be there to welcome her. She wants them with her in heaven. She tells me this. So I have decided, as far as I am concerned, they are there. And so is Chili and so is Rosie. Leilani is running with them at her heals and laughing. She is curled up on a sofa with them in her lap. I think these scenes in my head are beautiful and peaceful. Why can't it be this way. If heaven is everything we dream it is and so unimaginably more, then why can't this be a part of it.
lisa www.caringbridge/ar/savannah <lisa.hurley@centurytel.com>
russellville, ar usa - Thursday, November 6, 2003 12:56 AM CST

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Yvonne,
I'm so sorry about your dog Chili. You know, we lost 3 hamsters in one day, and then a guinea pig that we'd had for a week died. Brandice bought a new hamster last week and I think all of us pass by the cage every time we come upstairs just to see if he's still alive! I don't know for sure if our pets go to Heaven.

Isaiah 11:6"The wolf also shall dwell with the lamb,
The leopard shall lie down with the young goat,
The calf and the young lion and the fatling together;
And a little child shall lead them.
7The cow and the bear shall graze;
Their young ones shall lie down together;
And the lion shall eat straw like the ox.
8The nursing child shall play by the cobra's hole,
And the weaned child shall put his hand in the viper's den.
9They shall not hurt nor destroy in all My holy mountain,
For the earth shall be full of the knowledge of the LORD
As the waters cover the sea.

In the earthly reign of the Messiah, there will be animals in the Kingdom.

We KNOW that there are white horses in Heaven (Rev. 19:11-16).

Surely there's room in Heaven for 3 hamsters, 1 guinea pig, a Rosie, and a Chilidog (smile).

Joni Erikson Tada makes "dates" with other quadriplegics here on earth to go skiing on Mt. Zion or to swim in the glassy sea. I think that is so awesome. You and I will have to make some plans for mother/daughter things to do when we're reunited with our girls!

Have a blessed week. You are in my prayers!
Adrienne's mom, Nichelle: http://www.caringbridge.org/tx/adrienne <rejoice_first_lady@yahoo.com>
Cedar Park, TX USA - Thursday, November 6, 2003 1:06 AM CST

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I am so sorry about Chilidog - my heart goes out to you. Our pets are so special - a member of the family. You are in my prayers. God Bless,
Eileen
- Wednesday, November 5, 2003 2:22 PM CST

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Hi Yvonne -

We have Celeste here with us and I can still relate to everything that you wrote in your journal about everything... only God knows why we have to endure this. It's hard to keep going on but please remember that I care very much about you and thank you for sharing Leilani's light with all of us. What a beautiful light she brings here. (((HUGS)))
Tami (Celeste's mom) <blessingsbyceleste@hotmail.com>
PGH, PA - Tuesday, November 4, 2003 1:17 AM CST

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just thinking about you, Yvonne. Sending hugs your way.
lisa www/caringbidge.org/ar/savannah <lisa.hurley@centurytel.com>
- Saturday, November 1, 2003 7:19 PM CST

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Hi, my name is Stephanie. I came across this site from Katia's. I noticed that your daughter and I have the same Birthday. Except I was born in 1976, July 9th. I am sorry to hear that she has passed but glad she is not suffering anymore. G-d Bless you and your family...
Stephanie Jackson <stepojac@yahoo.com>
Roseville, MN - Friday, October 31, 2003 4:14 PM CST

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Yvonne,
Mourning a child in today's age never ceases. People talk about how evil the world is. I think it is the opposite. For the first time in mankind LIFE is valued. Yes, we still have a lot of work to do and evil does exist. But in this age children are expected to live. When ours die the pain is even greater. Some may tell you to move on. You are. BUT this is your sanctuary. This is where you can release the pain, for we understand. Like I say on my support groups. It's okay to visit the dark place...just don't hang out to long. The longer we stay, the harder it is to come out. We are here to lift you out. I need to visit the place myself. I need to curl up in a ball, withdraw into myself, and cry. Cry for the families of our angel babies, cry that this beast even exists, cry for healing, cry for peace, and cry for my anguish. Crying is a gift of coping from God. I need that gift. I am overdue. We love you Yvonne. You hurt so much yet reach out to help others. I have found that so common among our brain tumor family. Feel the hug right now.
lisa hurley www.caringbridge.org/ar/savannah <lisa.hurley@centurytel.com>
- Thursday, October 30, 2003 5:07 PM CST

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Hi Yvonne,
We're going to have to coordinate our schedules! Between your schooling and mine and all the children's and church activities we're like two ships that pass in the night (smile).

I know how your husband feels; I have had many days that I wanted to die too, but I can't stand the thought of my children having any more heartbreak. I will be praying continuously for your husband and boys. I pray that the Lord would show him His awesome love for him, and comfort and strenghthen us all. He promises comfort for those who mourn. I'm holding Him to His Word!

Hopefully I may get a chance to try a call you this weekend!

Blessings,
Adrienne's mom, Nichelle: http://www.caringbridge.org/tx/adrienne <rejoice_first_lady@yahoo.com>
Cedar Park, TX USA - Wednesday, October 29, 2003 10:56 PM CST

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Hi Yvonne....Your entry brought tears to my eyes. I know how much your hearts are aching for your little girl!! She really is such a precious little girl. I can't wait to meet her in heaven...
Thank you for being such an outstanding woman of faith. You do so much to help the rest of us get through this!!
with love and prayers from Lorraine
'angel' Nolan's mom <loralof@yahoo.com>
- Wednesday, October 29, 2003 10:47 PM CST

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Hi Yvonne,
I know you guys are hurting...I wish I could stop all the pain, but I can't..I am praying for your entire family and for your husband too...hang in there...take it one day at a time..it's all you can do...thinking of you guys!

~*Girlie's Page*~

All my love & more,
XOXOXOXOXO
Janice <janiceliew1981@yahoo.com>
Melbourne, Australia - Wednesday, October 29, 2003 9:42 PM CST

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Hello Yvonne,

You wrote, "I really feel blessed to know you all and be your friend. There truly is not a day that goes by that I do not think of you and pray for you."

I want you to know that I feel the same way about you and the others that I know. I simply cannot image what it will be like when I get to meet all of you in heaven.

While I also pray daily for you, I finally bought a prayer journal that I am hoping will allow for more intense prayer!

Remember, I will always weep with you over your sorrow of losing your precious Leilani.

Love and God Bless,
Monica
Monica Paquette <mj.paquette@worldnet.att.net>
Minneapolis, - Sunday, October 26, 2003 6:02 PM CST

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Yvonne,

Your posts always touch my heart. We ache so much, yet we reach out to others and wish we can take some of the pain away.

Ashley's back in the hospital. The tumor is 50% larger. Norine and Al have some hard choices to make.

Please pray for them today.
lisa www/caringbidge.org/ar/savannah <lisa.hurley@centurytel.com>
ar - Sunday, October 26, 2003 11:11 AM CST

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Hi Yvonne,
Thanks for signing Nolan's guestbook. Every message you leave makes me want to give you a great big hug because your words always comfort and sustain me!
I hope your day is wonderful and I can't wait until your scanner is hooked up so we can see more pictures of your beautiful daughter.
love and prayers from
Nolan's mom
Lorraine <loralof@yahoo.com>
- Thursday, October 23, 2003 11:00 AM CDT

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Hi Yvonne,
I just wanted to come by and say hi...HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY by the way! I hope you're keeping well and hanging in there...sending you lots of love from Down Under...

~*Girlie's Page*~

Love,
XOXOXOXO
Janice <janiceliew1981@yahoo.com>
Melbourne, Australia - Monday, October 20, 2003 7:55 PM CDT

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Dear Yvonne,

I truly pray for you daily. I wish there wasn't such a geographical distance. I know you miss your little girl, your Leilani so very much.

Your upcoming visitor's sound interesting. Please let us all know how that goes.

Happy Belated B-day. When you mentioned a scanner I at first thought you meant a "police scanner." My husband can't live without his but I couldn't understand why you were so excited. Oh...the other type of scanner! We need one too because so many pictures of Gabbie are not digital.

Love you lots!

God bless,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabbie, and baby Noah
Monica Paquette <mj.paquette@worldnet.att.net>
Minneapolis, Mn - Wednesday, October 15, 2003 6:11 PM CDT

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Leilani's mommy,
Thank you for your beautiful webpage and witness to our hope in Christ. My baby girl is also up with your beautiful Leilani...thanks be to God for our hope in the salvation of Christ. May you be blessed today, you are in our prayers.

Cathy Clyde and St. Theresa Rose <www.caringbridge.org/mn/theresarose>
St. Paul, MN USA - Wednesday, October 15, 2003 1:08 PM CDT

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Hi Yvonne! Happy (belated) birthday!! I can't wait to see more pictures of Leilani. :-)
That is so neat of her principal to have those 'dates' with Leilani. And I really like your idea of giving them graduation gifts next year! I am planning to go to school for Halloween and give the 4th graders little treat bags. It will be fun to see them all dressed up in their costumes. Even though it's a public school, they don't allow the kids to wear anything that is 'evil' or 'scary' so it will be cute....even though I know it will be painful as well.
Many hugs to you!!!
with love in Christ
from

Lorraine <loralof@yahoo.com>
- Tuesday, October 14, 2003 10:45 PM CDT

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I can't even imagine how hard it must be for you to have to live without your baby girl. I believe the dream was Leilani speaking to you. Life is such a confusing thing, but the after life is even more confusing, yet enchanting and great. Wishing a great new year,
Maddie www.caringbridge.org/mn/maddie
- Tuesday, October 14, 2003 5:55 PM CDT

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hi Yvonne
i have only had 2 evry faint dreams about mitchell i wish i could dream about him everynight. thought of you today and thought i would send you my thoughts and prayers.
FOREVER MISSING OUR ANGELS
«♥Mitchell♥»

abbie <afraser1@tru.eastlink.ca>
tru, ns canada - Tuesday, October 14, 2003 1:14 PM CDT

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Hi Yvonne,
I hope you had a wonderful birthday. How has your week been? I think of you often and pray for you daily. I had a Compassionate Friend meeting this week so I've been on a roller coaster. It's amazing how you can be so sad one moment and laughing your head off the next. I read somewhere that grieving parents often believe their losing their minds. I pray that you have an abundance of peace this week.

Isaiah 26:3
You will keep him in perfect peace,
Whose mind is stayed on You,
Because he trusts in You.
Adrienne's mom, Nichelle: http://www.caringbridge.org/tx/adrienne <rejoice_first_lady@yahoo.com>
Cedar Park, TX USA - Saturday, October 11, 2003 11:15 AM CDT

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Hello again my friend! I miss our emails. I was soured to using the internet when my computer kept crashing everytime I tried using it but never when my husband was on. Go figure! Anyway, I've been missing my internet friends and wanted to get back in touch with them again, so here I am trying once more to make this thing work. I just found out from visiting Fisher's site that you put together this beautiful tribute to Leilani. What a wonderful job you have done! Will you share your secrets? Now I have more than one way to reach you too! :)

How is nursing school going? I am glad to hear you and your husband are staying together. How are the boys? You are such an inspiration. How you manage to stay so strong, I have a lot to learn from you. I just wanted to tell you I was thinking of you and if you find time in your busy schedule, stop on by Brandon's site again or write an email. I'd love to hear from you. Take care, and God's blessing be upon you and yours.


Love, Roberta www.caringbridge.org/va/brandonh <misfitslilshadow@yahoo.com>
Virginia Beach, VA - Thursday, October 9, 2003 4:52 PM CDT

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Yvonne,
We have a new angel. Pam is now healed and at peace. It seems when you are down, more is asked of you. I am asking for your prayers for this family. www.caringbridge.org/ny/pamostrowski


Lisa Hurley <www.caringbridge.org/ar/savannah>
Russellville, AR USA - Thursday, October 9, 2003 9:07 AM CDT

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You're right here in my heart. Thanks for including us in your prayers, as we have for you and yours.

God bless,
Tami, Celeste's momCeleste's site <blessingsbyceleste@hotmail.com>
Pittsburgh, PA USA - Tuesday, October 7, 2003 1:07 AM CDT

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Hi Yvonne,
Again I can totally relate to what you're saying. I don't know how long Adrienne had that tumor. We were only aware of it for three days. We were involved in a car accident in September of last year. I didn't think we were hurt so I didn't have us go to the hospital. I keep thinking, if I had, would they have found the tumor? What if I had gotten a second opinion when the pediatrician kept telling me it was a bacterial infection? I used to tease Adrienne about her "air-headedness"; what if that was a symptom that I missed? I do this to myself on and on, but of course I never get any answers.

What do you think of this scripture?

Isaiah 57:1
The righteous perish,
and no one ponders it in his heart;
devout men are taken away,
and no one understands
that the righteous are taken away
to be spared from evil.

I came across this verse in a book I was reading and it made me wonder if Adrienne was taken away to spare her from something that would have come up in her future. Maybe even something that would move her from the path of following Jesus.

Praying for you, my sister!

Adrienne's mom, Nichelle: http://www.caringbridge.org/tx/adrienne <rejoice_first_lady@yahoo.com>
Cedar Park, TX USA - Friday, October 3, 2003 10:43 PM CDT

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Yvonne,

Thank you for signing my daughter's guestbook. I understood and totally related to everything you wrote. I also read through your daughter's website and I felt so connected to you. Your feelings are my feelings and you're right, nobody else can understand unless they have been through it and unfortunately we both have. Today is 3wks since we lost Julia and like you said in your previous journals; the suffering has stopped. It just hit me that is the blessing that we have received from her death. While she was alive the blessing was that the tumor would never cause her any pain. Thank goodness. Thanks again for the connection.

Judy
Mom of Angel Julia
www.caringbridge.org/pa/julialevy
Judy Levy <levyjudy4@comcast.net>
Pittsburgh, PA - Wednesday, October 1, 2003 8:40 PM CDT

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Hi Yvonne and family,
You're in my thoughts today. I pray that the Lord gives you strength for your journey today. "Then Jesus said to His disciples, 'If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me.'" This is certainly not the cross that I would have chosen -- being a bereaved parent -- but nevertheless, not MY will but His will be done. He promises strength, help, hope, peace, love, joy, grace to all that follow Him. I pray that He will give you and your family a double portion daily. Call me if you need to talk!

Adrienne's mom, Nichelle: http://www.caringbridge.org/tx/adrienne <rejoice_first_lady@yahoo.com>
Cedar Park, TX USA - Wednesday, October 1, 2003 1:37 PM CDT

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My name is Maddie, am 13 years old, and have a pontine glioma. I came upon your website and updated myself on Leilani. She's so beautiful and you must be so proud to have been her mother. You will be in my prayers!
Maddie www.caringbridge.org/mn/maddie
- Monday, September 29, 2003 4:46 PM CDT

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I just want you to know that Leilani was and still is very beautiful girl. Thank you for your wonderful message, it meant a lot to me and Caitlin.
www.caringbridge.org/ny/caitlintaylorgunn
Aleta <agunn@optonline.net>
West Nyack, NY - Sunday, September 28, 2003 1:03 PM CDT

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Hope you don't mind, I added a link to your website on my son Nolan's page. I wanted my family and friends to meet Leilani and her loved ones.
God bless you!
Lorraine ( "angel" Nolan's mom) <loralof@yahoo.com>
- Sunday, September 28, 2003 0:55 AM CDT

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Hi Yvonne
reading your journal enrty is how i feel mitch was my only child and yes family is not the same by all means but even if i had 10 children it still wouldnt be the same. thinking of you abbie
www.caringbridge.org/mi/mitchell



abbie <afraser1@tru.eastlink.ca>
canada - Saturday, September 27, 2003 11:01 AM CDT

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Yvonne,
The return label from Savannah's chemo angel says the family name...then lists everyone...her angel is there. A friend of mine lost her three yr old to a genetic condition. When asked how many children she has, three. He is always included. You have graduated to a different type of family. I still believe once the family unit is healed a bit...grieving for a child is lifelong I know...get your portrait taken. Include a rose for Leilani, for she will always be with you. 'Outsiders' may think it is morbid or not getting over it to always include a lost child. But obviously they don't have a clue. BUT...I am with you. I am scared because I agree 100% on the family. It is so sad. DO NOT destroy the rest of the 'Family' because of grief for your daughter. They are still family. I think you know this, but the pain is great right now.

One thing about hurting...you reach to others. We want to take it, to comfort, to carry yet another cross. We want to take it from them, suffer for them so they may find peace. Is this starting to sound familiar?

I am glad your husband is finally begun the healing process. It must have been hell for you as well as him. Men handle grief differently. We women expand in our grief, the men contract. Therefore, it takes longer for them. Now maybe you can hold eachother up.

May you be granted a weekend filled with breakthroughs and peace.
lisa hurley <www.caringbridge.org/ar/savannah>
russellville, ar usa - Friday, September 26, 2003 8:54 AM CDT

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Oh Yvonne, what are we going to do with all this pain? Reading your journal is like reading my heart. We took a "family" picture in September of 2001. I regret not taking another one, but that is our family picture. That is when I had all four of my children with me; when we were a family of six. Now, there will always be an empty seat at the table (90% of all the restaurants we go to seat us at a table for six and the empty chair seems to always be next to Brandice). It's a constant reminder that she's not here. I read the links on your and Katia's pages of all the bereaved caringbridge moms. I wish I could reach out and hold all their hands. Then Jesus said to His disciples, "If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me." This is certainly not the cross I would have chosen. Everyday I tell the Lord that I don't WANT to be a bereaved mother anymore. I've learned my lesson. I'll be a more compassionate person. I won't turn my head to the suffering of others. I'll be a more attentive mother. I'll do ANYTHING; just please send my daughter back to me.

Lyrics to I Must Tell Jesus

Words & Music: Elisha A. Hoffman, 1893:

There was a woman to whom God had permitted many visitations of sorrow and affliction. Coming to her home one day, I found her much discouraged. She unburdened her heart, concluding with the question, “Brother Hoffman, what shall I do?” I quoted from the word, then added, “You cannot do better than to take all of your sorrows to Jesus. You must tell Jesus.”

For a moment she seemed lost in meditation. Then her eyes lighted as she exclaimed, “Yes, I must tell Jesus.” As I left her home I had a vision of that joy-illuminated face…and I heard all along my pathway the echo, “I must tell Jesus. I must tell Jesus.”

Hoffman wrote these words after reaching home.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I must tell Jesus all of my trials;
I cannot bear these burdens alone;
In my distress He kindly will help me;
He ever loves and cares for His own.

Refrain

I must tell Jesus! I must tell Jesus!
I cannot bear my burdens alone;
I must tell Jesus! I must tell Jesus!
Jesus can help me, Jesus alone.

I must tell Jesus all of my troubles;
He is a kind, compassionate friend;
If I but ask Him, He will deliver,
Make of my troubles quickly an end.

Refrain

Tempted and tried, I need a great Savior;
One Who can help my burdens to bear;
I must tell Jesus, I must tell Jesus;
He all my cares and sorrows will share.

Refrain

O how the world to evil allures me!
O how my heart is tempted to sin!
I must tell Jesus, and He will help me
Over the world the victory to win.

Refrain

http://www.cyberhymnal.org/htm/i/m/imustell.htm

Yvonne, you have been so kind to others, I pray that you will quickly see the fruit of your labors.

Blessings,

Nichelle
Adrienne's mom, Nichelle http://www.caringbridge.org/tx/adrienne <rejoice_first_lady@yahoo.com>
Cedar Park, TX USA - Thursday, September 25, 2003 11:50 PM CDT

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Dear yvonne,
It has been a week today since we layed Zach to rest. It doesn't get any easier. I miss him so much it hurts. I have such an empty feeling inside. We try and visit his grave everyday and we have a memorial set up in the living room of Zach. I know that you are feeling the same pain as me. I too have trouble sleeping and I even have trouble functioning. I have no desire to do anything but cry and wish for my baby to be back in my arms. What helps me get through each day is the fact that he is tumor free now. No more needles, no more meds, no more pain. I know he is well taken care of not only by God and Jesus but by several great grandparents, several greal aunts, a few cousins, and some very special friends. I'm sure that him and your precious angel are already walking the streets of Heaven hand in hand. Take care my new friend and lets stay in touch. I will be praying for you and your family.
Misti Herrera <dmherrera@pvtnetworks.net-www.caringbridge.org/nm/zach>
Artesia, NM USA - Wednesday, September 24, 2003 11:45 AM CDT

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Dear Yvonne,

What a beautiful post on Sunday Sept. 21st.. so very insightful - I can see that God is working in your life and in your heart, refining you, building character, using you to present important life lessons to many of us. This is my fist time to visit your site, (came over from Maxie's place) and I want to send you a BIG hug and thanks for having the courage to journal after your Sweet Pea has gone to heaven. She sounds like such a wonderful girl - your poems to her and for her really speak of how special she is! How GLAD I am that God's promises are true - that He has never broken one yet, and we can trust Him, therefore we KNOW a glad reunion day is ahead! And that reunion will last forever! I'm gonna remember you sweet one, and come back for visits on a regular basis! Take care and you hang tough!
Loving you in Jesus..
Lynn
----------------------
A LEGACY OF HOPE! Cancer Support & Encouragement
www.legacyofhope.org
Lynn <lynn@legacyofhope.org>
Panama City, FL USA - Tuesday, September 23, 2003 7:15 AM CDT

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Dear Yvonne...Thank you for the lovely email. Yes, the pain of losing our babies is like none other. I miss my sweet little Jalen so much that it's just about unbearable. I do know that we will be reunited, one day, never to be separated again.

Please know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. God bless...
Terry Snyder (Angel Jalen's "Am-Maw") http://www.caringbridge.org/fl/jalen <vix207@aol.com>
Royal Palm Beach, FL - Monday, September 22, 2003 7:55 PM CDT

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Just came across your website and wanted to stop by and introduce myself. I am ANGEL COLBY's daddy, forever and ever. "I know your pain!!!" Unfortunately, we too are in that select group that have our own personal guardian ANGLE. The pain is unbearable sometimes, and the emptiness is forever. We miss him so much! We will keep you and your family in our thoughts and prayers. GOD BLESS. Sending lots of love from above - ANGEL COLBY JAMES COLE AND CREW.
jack - colby's daddy forever and ever
www.caringbridge.org/pa/colby, UNIONTOWN PA - Saturday, September 20, 2003 6:37 AM CDT

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Dear Yvonne,

The website is beautiful and is a wonderful tribute. It brought tears to my eyes when I came across it. Your poems were so heartfelt and they truly touched me. Leilani is now with the angels-May God bless your family always.
Tamara Dailey-Keur www.poetryhighway.com <Jtamkris@aol.com >
Rowlett, TX USA - Friday, September 19, 2003 4:48 PM CDT

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Dear Yvonne,

Still thinking of that powerful journal entry!

Since September is Children's Cancer Awareness month, and since Sept 28 is Gabbie's diagnosis date, I hope to write a journal entry that includes you, Yolanda, and Wendy, and some others.

These children have left some very important legacies.

Just think, while others may see cancer as the common thread in our departed children, I see JESUS CHRIST as the common thread.

Praying for you and the others every day. God has really started making His presence known in my pain and my life. I just pray He does the same for you.

God bless,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabbie, and baby Noah Gabriel (http://www.caringbridge.com/mn/gabrielles.prayers)
Monica Paquette <mj.paquette@worldnet.att.net>
Minneapolis, - Thursday, September 18, 2003 10:45 PM CDT

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I was looking for poems on the net, and I stumbled past the children's site. I could'nt resist visiting... And before I knew it, I had shed a few heart stopping tears at how wonderful heaven and our savior and our heavenly father are through the loving pages made for leilani... Thank you for sharing such uplifting visions and dreams of hope and faith.
And thank you for letting us be of wittness to how God's love really does give us the strength and courage to move on, despite what may happen in life.... God keep you and you're family safe, till we meet again... in heaven if not sooner...

liv
liv tongia
Australia - Thursday, September 18, 2003 9:12 PM CDT

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Hi Yvonne,
I just wanted to come by and thank you so much for your lovely message in my mom's guestbook. I am so sorry your lost your mom at such a young age and now your daughter too...life is just so unfair isn't it? But I, like you, also believe that God has His own plans and that everything happens for a reason. I still have no clue why He decided to make my mom sick and take her away but I truly believe that He had His reasons and that I will find the answers to all my questions one day. I am so glad you are studying nursing. I am sure you'll make a wonderful, dedicated nurse! As for me, I just graduated from college with a degree in Commerce (finance major), but I also plan on doing something on the side with kids. Just not sure what yet. Anyway, thank you again for coming by my mom's site and I hope you'll keep visiting. Although we've never met and only just "met" here on Caringbridge, I can tell we already share something very special and that is our love for the kids. They are just simply amazing! I have regular "chats" to my mom and tonight I will ask her to say hello to Leilani :) I'll be keeping you and your family in my prayers and I hope you guys keep strong and take it day by day. God bless you all always...

~*Girlie's Page*~
~*Janice's Page*~

Love,
XOXOXOXO
Janice
Melbourne, Australia - Wednesday, September 17, 2003 6:54 PM CDT

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Dear Yvonne,
I came here through another website, and just want to say I am SO touched by your faith, strength, and love!! What a tremendous blessing you are!
I lost my 9-year-old son, Nolan, to a brainstem tumor just three and a half weeks ago, and am still going through the initial grieving process...but my comfort and strength are in Jesus and I KNOW that someday I will see my baby again!
In the meantime, what a precious thought that those who may go before me would hug my son and send my love his way....
May God bless you richly!
Lorraine (http://nolans_hope.tripod.com) <loralof@yahoo.com>
- Wednesday, September 17, 2003 5:43 PM CDT

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Yvonne -

I feel blessed to have come in contact with you. It will be soon that you will be holding Leilani in your arms in Heaven. Just remind yourself that time only exists here on earth and although you are suffering and having to wait, Leilani will never suffer or have to wait for you. Part of you is already there for her. Absolute love in all senses. I really believe that. I know that part of me is already there. It gives me a lot of strength each day. God keeps us here to do what we need to do and no longer. I put all my faith in Him.

You've touched my life with courage and hope.

Keep the faith,
Tami Celeste's site
Pittsburgh, PA - Tuesday, September 16, 2003 0:16 AM CDT

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just visited your site and i have a daughter that has mps1 hurlers syndrome and we just found out a couple weeks ago and am trying to learn more about it.you have a beautiful daughter and i am sorry for your loss and may god bless you and keep you.
kathy and katilynn preston <katilynnsmom@yahoo.com>
tomahawk, ky usa - Monday, September 15, 2003 2:13 PM CDT

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Hi Yvonne, thanks so much for remembering Timmy and me! I just had my first med school exam today, and I'm wiped out! About your message, I can relate: I have already asked three people if they would tell Timmy I love them if they got to Heaven before I do, (My friend Joyce and my two grandparents) and they did. Please e-mail me when you get a chance! This is a wonderful website! I would love to make one for Tim, someday!

Love, Karen
Karen Galvan
- Friday, September 12, 2003 11:59 AM CDT

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Yvonne,
I enjoyed reading your journal. You are such a sweet, wonderful person, always thinking of others! That is a nice picture of Leilani's grave site for her birthday. The flowers and balloons are beautiful!
Kathy Haws
Thousand Oaks, CA - Wednesday, September 10, 2003 7:27 PM CDT

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Hi Yvonne -

I was soooo glad to see your posting on Celeste's site. It is so wonderful to know that you're thinking of us - and I want you to know that Celeste loves coming here to Leilani's site and looking at your pictures. She giggled about the stacks of videos in the background of your first picture! Looks very familiar to her stacks and she commented on how beautiful she is...

We think of you guys all the time !

Our e-mail hasn't been working... I would like to link to your site if that's okay. Please email the new address below sometime when you have the chance...

(((HUGS)))





Tami Celeste's site <blessingsbyceleste@hotmail.com>
Pittsburgh, PA USA - Wednesday, September 10, 2003 3:30 PM CDT

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Yvonne,
I came to your site via another caringbridge page. My 13 year old daughter, Maddie, was diagnosed with a brainstem tumor on 4-28-03. The love and emotion you convey through your writing is unbelievable. Leilani is a beautiful girl- I say IS, because she lives on- through everyone who's been touched by her.
God bless you and your family. I will continue to check in on you and keep you in my prayers.
Julie- Maddie's mom www.caringbridge.org/mn/maddie
Julie
- Wednesday, September 10, 2003 1:38 PM CDT

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Wow Yvonne,
You hit the common thread us special parents have. We can't wait to die. The fear is completely gone. The bond between parent and child are not broken through death. I believe that. I spoke of just this to a friend of mine who suggested I SEE SOMEONE. Why? I know perfectly well this is normal...normal for us who have or will have to bury our little children. I do NOT believe someone who has not been on our path can comprehend how we feel. An "outsider" automatically assumes we are suicidal or depressed. Not at all. We grieve, we are sad, but we function just fine as parents, spouses, employees, and members of society. We all still have jobs to preform here on earth.

The BEST help I have received is from other parents like you and on my yahoogroups. Others who KNOW. Who know our fears, our trials, our grief, our anguish, our joys, our insight, our maternal insinct. They respect our decisions regarding what we feel is best for OUR children. They help by sharing medical knowledge, sharing life and death stories, being a shoulder to cry, scream, or vent on. When we are down...and another one of our group is in need...up we come to comfort them.

Sometimes our mortality is pushed in our face. Why? To make sure our eyes are open to the girft of life? To reconstruct our lives to best serve? Or to make preparations for our future transition? It never hurts to prepare, to say things we need to say, to do things we have been postponing.

So should you go to God before my little Savannah, please welcome her on the other side. Love her as your own. Introduce her to Leilani. Watch her until her mommy and sister arrive. For time is nothing in eternity. So we will be joining the angels shortly.
lisa hurley <www.caringbridge.org/ar/savannah>
russellville, ar usa - Monday, September 8, 2003 2:11 PM CDT

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Dear, dear Yvonne,

I almost broke down. I mean...I almost broke down in sobs with your journal entry.

While I know journal entries are archived, I hope you keep this on for a few days because I will mention it in my next journal entry for Gabbie on Monday or Tuesday.

We think so much alike. Why do we have to live so far apart???

I, too, feel my most important task here on earth is to bring Aubrey and Noah to the Lord. But after that, I do not fear my own death because it will bring me to my reunion with Gabbie and to my eternal destiny with Jesus!!

You are my very, very special friend, Yvonne.

I know you miss your precious Leilani. If we could have a glimpse of their happiness, these departed children, we too would cry in joy for them and would never try to bring them back.

I pray for our glimpse, then.

Again, what a powerful, loving, tear-provoking journal entry.

God bless,
The Paquette's: Monica, John, Aubrey, St. Gabbie, and Noah Gabriel
Monica Paquette <mj.paquette@worldnet.att.net>
Minneapolis, - Sunday, September 7, 2003 1:47 PM CDT

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hi Yvonne
i have read your journal entry and it was so deep.my son went to heaven 4 months ago and some days i wake up in the morning thinking is this my day i get to see him again??to meet all these kids and tell them how much everyone loves and misses them.thankyou for making me feel a little better

Mitch`s site
abbie <afraser1@tru.eastlink.ca>
truro, ns canada - Saturday, September 6, 2003 5:32 PM CDT

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I have been to your site acquainting myself with your beautiful daughter, Leilani. May God continue to give you strength each day. My daughter was dx in Feb. with a brainstem glioma.

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)
i fear
no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
-e.e. cummings

Time is too slow
for those who wait,
too swift for those who fear,
too long for those who grieve,
too short for those who rejoice,
but for those who love,
time is eternity.
-David Laflamme

Tami Celeste's site <jeremytamiyoung@earthlink.net>
Pittsburgh, PA - Thursday, September 4, 2003 0:39 AM CDT

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Dear Yvonne,

I read your journal and felt like you were writing from my heart. In fact, about 4 days ago I was driving somewhere and I did start shouting in the car. I shouted and shouted that I wanted my Gabbie back. My voice was hoarse the next day because I yelled with so much frustration.

But like you...I would give ANYTHING but my salvation. How right you are.

Thinking of you and praying for you.

Love,
Monica Paquette
(http://www.caringbridge.com/mn/gabrielles.prayers)
Monica Paquette <mj.paquette@worldnet.att.net>
Mpls, - Monday, September 1, 2003 3:13 PM CDT

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Dear Yvonne...I saw your daughter's link on Katia's page. Leilani is beautiful--just like her name. Thank you for including my grandson's link on Leilani's page.

The poems "So Blessed" & "One Wish" really tugged at my heart. Please know that you're in my thoughts and prayers.
Terry Snyder (Angel Jalen's "Am-Maw") http://www.caringbridge.org/fl/jalen <vix207@aol.com>
Royal Palm Beach, FL - Sunday, August 31, 2003 8:23 PM CDT

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Yvonne,

What a mother you are! Of course you miss your baby. Your heart bleeds everyday, every hour, every minute. And you will struggle for the rest of your life. Because of the PROFOUND LOVE you have for her. A love only a mother can have. A love only a mother who has led her child down a path to our Almighty Father can have. You will continue, you will LIVE, you will be sad, but you WILL BE reunited. What is time on earth here compared to an eternity?

It's is not depression. Maybe so few of us really understand that. I am so scared. All I know is how much I hurt for my daughters loss and she is still alive. I cannot comprehend what it will be like after. I hurt for you and for all parents who lost their children to this terrible beast. To be given a monster who will always win. It is not fair. They are not given a fighting chance.

Remember in your battles to hold back the tears? It's okay to cry. It's okay to scream. These are the gifts God gave you to help you cope. You don't have to battle against God by putting up a good front. Mourn, you are in anguish, and therefore you are allowed. This is not a weakness. This is a strength. Peace will find you the more you use your coping gifts from God.

I also think in mothering we are supposed to be selfish. You want your baby back. I don't want my baby to die. It means we honor our Father in being the best mother you can be. My humble gift back to Him. My tears right now are for you, and it is because you have touched my heart. I also mourn with you, Yvonne. We all know everyone is better off in Heaven, but doesn't mean you don't want her by your side here on earth.

I believe, God chose you to mother his little princess through this horrible disease. What a mother you are. I am honored to share tears with you.


lisa hurley
russellville, ar - Tuesday, August 26, 2003 1:24 PM CDT

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Dear Yvonne,
We've been out of touch for a little while. My computer was down and we have been using our weekends to "escape" to places like the beach.

I'm back online and I read your journal entry just now and I can relate SO much to what you're saying. I have this fantasy of my own that the doorbell will ring and it will be Adrienne standing at the door saying, "The Lord decided to do something He's never done before. He decided to allow a few of us kids to come back home to our parents and I was one of the ones He chose." I would be so happy to have her back here with us. But in reality the exact opposite has happened: The Lord decided to allow a few of the kids to go HOME early and our girls were two of them. I can even relate to what you were saying about depression. A doctor told my husband he was depressed. His reply, was that he was not HOPELESS. I think that's what we think depression is. I told my doctor that I was "functionally depressed." She said there IS such a thing.

I think as Christians we beat ourselves up over depression, but just think of how many depressed people there were in the Scriptures: Jacob (when he thought Joseph had died), Hannah, David, Elijah, Jeremiah. I think it's better to acknowledge it and deal with it than to try to cover it up and allow it to become unmanageable. Keep pressing into His presence, my sister. In His presence is fulness of joy!
Adrienne's mom, Nichelle: http://www.caringbridge.org/tx/adrienne <rejoice_first_lady@yahoo.com>
Cedar Park, TX 78613 - Thursday, August 21, 2003 4:53 PM CDT

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Hi.
There is something so awesome that happens when we praise the Lord when things are bad. Our Josslyn had a tumor. Your website is such a testimony to unbelievers and believers alike. Thank you for sharing with us all.
My tears and prayers are for you!
Love, Jenni
Jenni McClung <jenmcclung@juno.com>
Kansas City, MO USA - Thursday, August 21, 2003 10:26 AM CDT

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Yvonne, I just wanted to come by and say hello and let you know I am thinking about you. Katia is here and thinks your baby is pretty**
She is sweet and she recognizes sweetness.
Well I just wanted to come say hello. Love, Tracy
~~Katia's Site~~
Tracy and Katia
- Wednesday, August 20, 2003 9:39 AM CDT

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Dear Yvonne,

I just read your journal entry. I'm so sorry for that family who has now lost two children to a drunk driver. I can only imagine their pain (and even as a Christian...their anger...but hopefully God will help them forgive).

I know you are sad. It is true our children are in a much better place but we are sad not for that but because of their absence here. And why would we miss them less each day? I miss Gabbie MORE each day.

Thankfully, God's grace is getting me through this. I always pray for you, my friend.

God bless,
The Paquettes: Monica, John, Aubrey, St. Gabbie and Noah
Monica Paquette <mj.paquette@worldnet.att.net>
Minneapolis, - Tuesday, August 19, 2003 2:57 PM CDT

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Hi Yvonne,
I wanted to let you know that you were on my mind. Personally, I think it is okay to be very very sad. You have every right to be. And God gave us emotions. It is a sin to deny his gift. And when it becomes overwhelming he does lift you up. The grace of God. I love it!

Savannah lost her first tooth Sunday morning. No one even knew it was loose. I am jealous she was with her daddy and not me...but I did grab the camera and go see her with her tooth before the tooth fairy claimed her prize.

Savannah loves dragonflies. Ever since the story. She points them out everywhere. You take care.
Lisa Hurley <lisa.hurley@centurytel.com>
Russellville, AR USA - Monday, August 11, 2003 4:39 PM CDT

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Hi Yvonne! Popping in to say hello and that, OF COURSE, you are on my heart and in my prayers. You know, just around Anna's anniversary is when my husband, George, was having all that "heart scare" stuff. I remember the Lord keeping so warm and peaceful . . .so cushioned in His Arms. Halleluya!! We have such a wonderful Father! As I see everything that's going on in the world, I can't help but delight in the fact the our Lord's coming is so near. By the same token, I also get apprehensive about ensuring His blessed Gospel is being delivered to all who "have ears to hear". Love Ya!
Yolanda Rogers, Mom to Anna, http://www.galatians5.com <galatians5@truevine.net>
Altamonte Springs, FL USA - Thursday, August 7, 2003 8:00 PM CDT

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Dear Yvonne,

Sorry I missed Leilani's anniversary. I'm not very good with dates.

I have taken on a new mission and am trying to explain and fight New Age thought on Gabbie's site. I have been shocked to find on some of these memorial sites that some bereaved parents try to seek consolation through spiritual mediums.

I trust only the Truth from Jesus as you do also.

Our "eternal retirement" is the only retirement we should be working towards.

God bless,
The Paquettes: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabbie, and Noah
Monica Paquette <mj.paquette@worldnet.att.net>
Minneapolis, - Tuesday, August 5, 2003 7:16 PM CDT

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This ladybug is for you Angel Leilani:)

Katia's Page(Leukemia AMLM4)

Tracy and Katia
- Thursday, July 31, 2003 4:12 PM CDT

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Dear Yvonne,

Thinking of you and Yolanda all the time!! I haven't gotten to the other Galations5 stories yet.

I didn't know that you also lost your mother when you were 9 years old. I'm so sorry.

You are so right that time here will never go fast enough. Others find that concept hard to believe...but our hearts are pulled so much by the child who left. What is so important during our time left here, however, is to guide our surviving children to the Lord. And others.

Just think, not only will we be delighted and overjoyed to see our children again, we will be in much awe of the eternal roles God has for those special children.

God bless,
The Paquettes: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabbie, and Noah
(http://www.caringbridge.com/mn/gabrielles.prayers)
Monica Paquette <mj.paquette@worldnet.att.net>
Minneapolis, - Saturday, July 26, 2003 10:20 AM CDT

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I am so sorry about the death of your lovely daughter Leilani, there is no pain greater on this earth than to lose a child, no grief harder to bare. The second year without them can be worse than the first, a pain that does not go away. They are no long physically here with us, but like the spirit of Christ they live in our heart. For them to live in our heart, our heart has to grow, when our heart grows we touch lives, when we touch lives we bring people closer to God, when we bring pople closer to God our heart is healed. My prayers are with you as you embark on your second year of healing.

Love & Light
Mitch Carmody
Author of " Letters To My Son, a journey through grief"
url: heartlightstudios.net
Mitch Carmody <heartlightstudio@aol.com>
Hastings , MN USA - Saturday, July 26, 2003 10:15 AM CDT

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Yvonne, your family is in my prayers today, on the anniversary of Leilani's move to Heaven. My heart is sad for you who must live here without her. But there's a check in my spirit that the Lord will not let me be sad for Leilani. How can we be sad for the ones who feel no more pain, are never ill, and yet have the same hope of seeing us again as we have of seeing them.

At Adrienne's home-going service, her dance team danced to "I'm Trading My Sorrows" (listen to excerpt: http://www.integritymusic.com/sounds/2335210.ram )

I'm trading my sorrows,
I'm trading my shame,
I'm laying them down
For the joy of the Lord.

I'm trading my sickness,
I'm trading my pain,
I'm laying them down
For the joy of the Lord.

Yes, Lord
Yes, Lord
Yes, yes, Lord,
Amen.

(from "Trading My Sorrows" by Darrell Evans)

Today's Daily Bread devotional talked about 'fixing our eyes on Jesus' and I thought of you. That's probably going to be our life verse. Keep looking unto Him, my friend.

Blessings,
Adrienne's mom, Nichelle -- www.caringbridge.org/tx/adrienne <rejoice_first_lady@yahoo.com>
Cedar Park, TX USA - Friday, July 25, 2003 11:02 AM CDT

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Dearest Friend and Sister in Christ,

It would an enormous understatement to say you are in my prayers. You, Monica, Melissa, Carol, Beth, and so many others are always on my heart. And, since I do not believe in coincidence, I know that this is how our Lord meant it to be. What a blessing!! I saw a sign by a grave site a while back. "Good night, Mom. Spending the night with Jesus. See you in the morning." Oh, and what a day, glorious day that will be!! May Jesus' hugs be extra tight, may His smile be extra bright and may His and Leilani's presence be known to you in a very extra special way.
Yolanda <galatians5@truevine.net>
Altamonte Springs, FL USA - Thursday, July 24, 2003 8:06 PM CDT

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Yvonne,
I've been gone from home for a week, so I'm a little behind on all the caringbridge journals. Yours is always the one that I frequent often. You have been such a blessing to me in the past seven months since Adrienne left. Your words are such an inspiration. I just know that Adrienne must be very close to Leilani in Heaven. They must have been instrumental in bringing us together. I can't wait until we can meet in person so I can give you a big hug!

Blessings,

Nichelle
Adrienne's mom, Nichelle -- www.caringbridge.org/tx/adrienne <rejoice_first_lady@yahoo.com>
Cedar Park, TX USA - Wednesday, July 23, 2003 6:44 PM CDT

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Yvonne, as i read your beautiful daughters page, i wept. No I dont know the pain your experiencing, and dont want to imagine it either. Your such a strong lady. My 10 year old niece was diagnosed jan.10 2003 with diffuse intrinsic pontine glioma, and the pain is horrendous. I can only imagine an ounce of the pain. She has a caringbridge site, it is www.caringbridge.org/wv/mckenzie. We just returned from her make-a-wish trip to hawaii. It was a beautiful trip. We will pray for your strength to deal with the situations that arise. You never get over losing a child, just learn how to deal a little better everyday. this is what my great-grandma in florida tells me. she has lost 3 children, i never want to imagine that. I am sorry to have rambled on, just ran across your site and wanted to tell you that your one beatuiful lady. Happy birthday Lailani!!
angela, aunt of mckenzie, 10 diagnosed dpg <www.caringbridge.org/wv/mckenzie >
prichard, wv - Monday, July 21, 2003 2:02 PM CDT

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Yvonne,
Happy birthday to Leilani! You should celebrate every year, for this was the day God gave you his little one to mother for her short stay. Your letter brought tears to my eyes, as always. Remember, she still IS your daughter, ALWAYS will be. Death can not strip that from you. I understand how you can't wait to be reunited. I am not even there yet but I already look forward to being with my daughter in Heaven. It is a common thread all us glioma parents have. We still have responsibilities here, our lives, our other children, our family and friends...but the longing. I think it shows what a good parent and person you are. Allow your grief, you deserve it. It is a testimony to the love you have for your beautiful daughter taken too quick. But also live. Leilani would never want mommy to hurt. These babies of ours return the comfort we give them tenfold. Cry tears of pain mixed with tears of joy, for being given the opportunity to be her mother. Peace unto you, Yvonne and family.
Lisa Hurley
Russellville, AR USA - Monday, July 14, 2003 8:35 AM CDT

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hi all was looking at my nephew's page and found urs so i thouht i would stop by and say hi and read about ur daughter. imm o sory to hear about her passin and i know she is happy and glad u 2 are still a team i prayer for all children with cancer. all children are very special and a treasure to have. i love my nephew very much and i know he is an angel here on earth. take care and ill keep ur family in my prayers.
Bobby West <rednektweety@hotmail.com>
ocala, fl - Friday, July 11, 2003 9:56 PM CDT

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Happy Birthday, Leilani! I know that Heaven is filled with joy inexpressable and full of glory. Praise God that you are in the presence of the Lord and that your temporary separation from your family will be over one day and you all will rejoice together. "Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning." Leilani, tell my Adrienne that she's missed terribly, but one day we'll be reunited too! I can't wait to meet you, Leilani, your mom has been such a blessing to me!
Adrienne's mom, Nichelle -- www.caringbridge.org/tx/adrienne <rejoice_first_lady@yahoo.com>
Cedar Park, TX USA - Wednesday, July 9, 2003 8:20 AM CDT

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SENDING PRAYERS YOUR WAY!I SEEN YOUR DAUGHTERS WEB PAGE ON ANOTHER SITE AND WAS INTERESTED TO SEE HER NAME.MY SON IS 8 AND HIS NAME IS IKIKA (SPELLED WRONG BY THE HOSPITAL)IKAIKA.HIS DAD WAS HAWAIIN.WE TO HAVE BEEN BATTLING CANCER MORE TIMES THAN I WOULD LIKE TO EVER REMEMBER JUST IN THE LAST YEAR LOST 3 GRANDPARENTS AND MY SON STILL FIGHTS THE EFFECT OF RADIATION.HIS NECK TURNED BLACK AND HE THINKS IT IS FUNNY ASKED MEIF HE COULD HAVE STRIPES!OTTA LOVE KIDS AND THE WAY THEY SEE THING!HAVE A GOOD DAY AND WE WILL BE SENDING PRAYERS FOR YOUR DAD FULL RECOVERY ALSO!!!
BETTY,IKIKA,JOSE,MIKAYLA,BILLY <WWW.CARINGBRIDGE.COM/MT/IKIKA>
KEVIN, MT - Tuesday, July 8, 2003 8:44 AM CDT

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I am praying for you. I just realized this is the month in which Leilani went to be with our Lord. I keep forgetting this is actually July! My prayers are with you. You seem to be around wonderful people. We are trying to get back into church. We used to always go but a lot of things made us back away. We are still a very Christian family but the kids really need the time at church. Myron's dad is a pastor and I grew up in church so... (Look how rotten we turned out, imagine?):) Anyway, Myron works on Sunday and although I really hate to do things by myself, I can't let that stand in the way. I have been feeling bad right now and I hope on the 16th and 17th all the tests I will be going through will answer a lot of questions! I just hope the answers aren't bad ones, I pray for something very simple or at least mendable. I pray for you though, the loss must just be something so awful and something I really hope never to feel or put others through. I just can't imagine. Leilani does look like the kind of girl that would have loved checking her guestbook! I hope this guestbook brings you a comfort. Love, Tracy

Visit Katia's Page and sign her guestbook:) (Leukemia AML M4)

Tracy and Katia
- Sunday, July 6, 2003 5:43 PM CDT

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Dear Yvonne, my friend in Christ,

Your journal entry guilted me. I, of course, think of you often as we share this similar painful journey of living without our precious daughters.

But I had not been praying for you. I will now add you to my prayers. Just because one is saved does not mean one does not need prayers.

I will pray for your father also.

Thinking of you...and now praying for you.

I'm also still working on getting the coding so that I
can add Leilani's link to Gabbie's site.

Love,
The Paquettes: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabbie, and baby Noah Gabriel
Monica Paquette <mj.paquette@worldnet.att.net>
Minneapolis, - Sunday, July 6, 2003 1:24 PM CDT

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Remembering sweet Leilani:)

Visit Katia's Page and sign her guestbook:) (Leukemia AML M4)

Tracy and Katia
- Wednesday, June 25, 2003 2:28 PM CDT

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Yvonne, your web page of your daughter touched my heart. I have two children 10 & 7 and I couldn't even wonder the pain it would be if anything happened to them. I am so very sorry for you loss. Your daughter lives on through you in this website. God Bless.
Sharon
Pittsburgh, PA USA - Sunday, June 22, 2003 8:05 AM CDT

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I was thinking about you so I came by here to let you know:)

Visit Katia's Page and sign her guestbook:) (Leukemia AML M4)

Tracy and Katia
- Saturday, June 21, 2003 3:01 PM CDT

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Just wanted to stop by and let you know that the Lord put you on my heart today. I am thinking of and praying for you. Many blessings to you and I'll try not to take so long getting by here to sign in next time. Much love in Christ.
Khalita My Caringbridge Site Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Friday, June 20, 2003 4:42 PM CDT

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I just came by to visit your page and go to a few of the links you have mentioned. I appreciate you linking to Katia. We just really want people to know these children and what they battle and just how brave they really are. Love, Tracy

Visit Katia's Page and sign her guestbook:) (Leukemia AML M4)

Tracy and Katia
- Friday, June 20, 2003 1:45 PM CDT

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Yvonne-
Thank you for your words of encouragment and love on my son Luke's webpage. We are packing now for our trip from Florida to St. Jude's in Memphis, Tennessee. We will undergo 6 weeks of radiation. The tumor growing back in such a short time has been a complete shock- but like you we are drawing our next breath from THE LORD. He is the author of peace, comfort and HOPE. Your webpage is awesome, so inspiring and uplifting. Your poems are incredible. Leilani smiles like my Luke (left side up). My prayers are now extended to you and your family. GOD is in control. We must remind each other of that!!! Your faith is amazing and I fell blessed that the Lord crossed our paths.
In His Grip,
Amanda DeAndrea (Lukey's mom)
Amanda DeAndrea <www.caringbridge.org/fl/luke.d>
Tampa, FL - Sunday, June 15, 2003 7:31 AM CDT

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That was so beautiful and I am so glad Leilani came back for you:) That had to be her:) She is flying free and came to visit.

Visit Katia's Page and sign her guestbook:) (Leukemia AML M4)

Tracy Solomon <tmsol87@aol.com>
- Friday, June 13, 2003 3:08 PM CDT

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Miss Yvonne -- I just found Leilani's website through another link, and I must say it is just awe-inspiring. I am so sorry you lost your beautiful daughter to this monster disease. Her description of heaven and of jumping on God's tummy and stopping in-between jumps to give Him hugs is just about the most precious thing I have ever read! It brought joy to my heart to know how this precious child was looking forward to heaven and her vision that everything there was happiness and peace and fun and love -- oh, if only us grownups could learn to long for heaven in the same way! Leilani's vision makes real the words of Jesus when He said to let the little children come unto Him ". . . for of such is the kingdom of heaven." (Matthew 19:14) Thank you, Leilani, for reminding me of how wonderful heaven truly is.

By the way, your poetry is so beautiful. I live in the world of cancer, too, and it's people like you with their continual message of faith and trust that keep reminding me to hold on to mine. Thank you.
Kim Rutherford <kimruth1@utk.edu>
Knoxville, TN USA - Friday, June 6, 2003 4:03 PM CDT

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Dear Yvonne and family,

I am (slowly) visiting the Web sites of the other children on Yolanda's Galations5 Web page.

Leilani is beautiful and I'm sure your hearts are broken. I am so glad, however, to see you have complete assurance that someday you will be reunited, forever, with Leilani.

I also see that you have a "Noah." Dad or brother, I could not tell. We just had a baby not even 10 months after Gabbie died. We named him Noah Gabriel in honor of Gabbie.

I pray that God continue to light your path.

God bless,
The Paquettes: Monica, John, Aubrey, Saint Gabbie, and baby Noah (www.caringbridge.com/mn/gabrielles.prayers)
Monica Paquette <mj.paquette@worldnet.att.net>
Minneapolis, - Sunday, May 25, 2003 11:45 AM CDT

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Hi Yvonne:

So sorry that we missed you guys today. Boy, a picnic at the top of the mountain with our angels looking down upon us... what could be better? Nothing, other than having them here with us. (Hey, do you think that the girls were trying to play a joke on us by sending the cold and rain? I bet they were just laughing at us. You know, I bet they knew how eager Nathan and Xavi were to see each other and they were playing a joke on their big brothers)!

I sure wish that the weather would have held out for us. We will have to plan another picnic some other time. Next time we will have to hold our excitement to ourselves until we actually get together.

Take care of yourself and all of your boys.

www.caringbridge.org/nc/noellenicholas

Much Love,

The Babers <vbaber@triad.rr.com>
Winston-Salem, NC - Saturday, May 17, 2003 9:43 PM CDT

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Yvonne...I now realized you just set this up...
I freaked when I read your journal entry from May 4th. The tears poured again...I guess I just needed that today. You thought of us on May 4th. That was the day Cassie made her First Communion. Father Charlie came to me and asked if I would allow Savannah to also make hers. I was so humbled because it truly was a miracle that God gave to ME. I had even written about the loss I felt the week before on Savannah's website. Yes, we are so Blessed even in adversity. Leilani was blessed to have you as a mother and you are blessed to have her as your daughter. Lots to love and hugs to you.
Lisa Hurley <lisa.hurley@centurytel.com>
Russellville, AR USA - Thursday, May 15, 2003 5:46 PM CDT

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My deepest and heartfelt sympathy goes out to you and your family.A dear friend of mine lost her daughter (or should I say gave her back to the Lord) on Feb.3 2003.She also had brain stem giloma.She was 6 years old when she passed away.I know in my heart that your daughter and Breanna have met in paradise and are playing and laughing.
God Bless you and your family.

Melissa <myrn2006@yahoo.com>
Rockford, Il USA - Thursday, May 15, 2003 3:55 PM CDT

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Dear Mrs. Yvonne,
My name is Brandice, and I'm Nichelle Nelson's daughter. I read about Leilani and I wish I had known her before she passed, even though I'm 11 and she was 9. I like kittens too. Was she the oldest child in the family, because if she was, then I know how her little brothers (or sisters?) feel.
Brandice Nelson <bootslarue@yahoo.com>
Cedar Park, TX U.S. of A. - Tuesday, May 13, 2003 11:01 PM CDT

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Yvonne,
Your daughter is beautiful.
I lost my nine year old daughter to a brain stem tumor 36 months ago. It was a five month battle.
Your site is a wonderful tribute to both of your loves and the love of the Father. (John 3:16)
It makes me both glad, and sad, that Kendall has such wonderful company with her in Heaven as she an Leilani await that grand reunion with us... someday.
Blessings on your tests, What an inspiration!
Thank you for your honesty and authenticity!!!
In His Grip,
Loretta Bjorvik

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/kendall
Loretta Bjorvik <Kendall-owner@yahoogroups.com>
Warrenville, (suburb of Chicago!!!), IL USA - Saturday, May 10, 2003 1:12 AM CDT

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Hi Yvonne! Just passing through . . . I love to read your journal entries. Praise God who has given you such a wonderful way with words! Picked up a great devotional . . .Peace Like A River by Daniel Partner. It contains "devotional thoughts of comfort from classic christian hymns". Now why didn't think of that with so many beautiful hymn books around?? Today's was "Be Still, O Troubled Soul" and the verse that really touched my heart was

"O waiting soul, be still, be strong,
And though he tarry, trust and wait;
Doubt not. he will not wait too long,
Fear not, he will not come too late."

Love ya!
Yolanda, Mommy to Anna <galatians5@truevine.net>
Altamonte Springs, FL USA - Saturday, April 26, 2003 3:25 PM CDT

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Your websight is unbelievable. What a precious little girl. I almost regret closing out my sons websight. He passed away on his ninth birthday last July, of Leukemia. On the first of the year, I closed his sight out...it was so painful to read through the rollercoaster ride that we all went through. I saved it all on disk...but sometimes I think that I should have kept it on the web.

I often write to him, talk to him...Just as you do to your daughter. It is the only thing that can prevent my heart from bursting. It is so hard to go on without them, isnt it? And to read daily all these other little angels going through the same pain and suffering.

Please know that there are people that you neer met who care...I share your pain. But I also know they beat their battle...
Vicki <tj4ever@frontiernet.net>
- Saturday, April 26, 2003 7:13 AM CDT

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Yvonne:

I just wanted to stop by and let you know that I am praying for you today. I hope your appt. goes well. Let us know what you find out.

www.caringbridge.org/nc/noellenicholas

Love,
Wendy <vbaber@triad.rr.com>
Winston-Salem, NC - Thursday, April 24, 2003 8:18 AM CDT

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Yvonne,
I could only describe this webpage with the word "WOW".
It had me crying like a little school girl.(haha)
Seriously it did touch me and I could only be grateful that I had the opprtunity to spend Leilani's 9th birthday with her. If this experiance taught me anything, it is that we need to appreciate the lttle things in life and not allow the larger, less important things to cloud our minds. God Bless and I will be calling later this week.
Love you Noah
Love you Xavier
Love you Yvonne
...ah what the hay, Love you Michael
Freddy Serrano <f.serrano@attbi.com>
Chicago, IL USA - Monday, April 21, 2003 1:13 AM CDT

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Yvonne:

What a wonderful way to remember your sweet Leilani this Easter. Your words are so beautiful... your poetry just right.

It is because of Easter that we can be assured that one day we will be reunited with our babies. One day... just one day.

We continue to think about and pray for all of you.

www.caringbridge.org/nc/noellenicholas

Love in Christ,
Wendy <vbaber@triad.rr.com>
Winston-Salem, NC - Sunday, April 20, 2003 8:26 PM CDT

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yvonne:
this is a beutiful tribute to your daughter, and she knows it. through this web page, you open a window to your heart and allow us to share your love with leilani.god bless you and your family.
Erick Saldivar <mangosta9@msn.com>
chicago, il us - Thursday, April 17, 2003 6:53 PM CDT

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This page truly touched my heart, especially because I once knew the beautiful little girl who now resides in heaven with out one and only Jesus Christ. I'll never forget her angelic smile and her lovely voice. Being her cousin was a true gift of God. I could have never asked for a more blissful and intelligent girl for a cousin as her. My mere 13 years of age taught me that graceful and innocent people like her will be safe and heaven and never leave our side spiritually. I wrote a short book about her , but this page showed more than I could have ever intended to write. I will never forget my kind-hearted yet glamorous little cousin Leilani.
Eloisa Aribel Serrano <F.serrano@attbi.com>
Chicago, Il United States - Thursday, April 17, 2003 6:10 PM CDT

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What a precious tribute to your daughter! And what an inspiration you and she are to ME! Thank you for sharing your journey.
Kim (Jenny's mom)
Kim Bolton <help4jen@preferred.com>
Elizabethton, TN USA - Thursday, April 10, 2003 0:27 AM CDT

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Thanks for the lovely pictures.

Debby Cohen, Brenners Oncology Clinic
Winston Salem, NC - Wednesday, April 9, 2003 2:52 PM CDT

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Dear Yvonne,
You have created a beautiful tribute to your precious daughter. Every page is filled with your love for your Angel. I know all too well the pain of losing a child. I've lost three...Michelle - 11 months, Jerry - 2 1/2 years & Danny - 29 years. Although time can never heal our pain, it does tend to numb it somewhat. Your love for your daughter and your faith in God will give you the strength and courage to survive...one day at a time, one moment at a time. Thank you so much for signing the guestbook at "My Angels" and may God bless...
Jackie <Pywackette@outgun.com>
Bay Minette, Al USA - Tuesday, April 8, 2003 1:09 PM CDT

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Yvonne, Micheal, Xavier & Noah,

I know your lose has been so greatly unknowning by me. I feel your pain. When I think of what it would be like to live the last 2 years you have been throught, I really don't think I have the strength.

Yvonne,
We have known each other for almost 20 years and we have been through so much together. I look to you since you seem so wise. I know I complain about my girls to you, and here you lost your only one.

I have no idea how you keep going. Oh yes I do, for the love of your other children.

God Bless you and keep you and the rest of your family safe.

Lisa Marie, Dave, Breanna, Sarah, & Madison
Lisa <breababy2003@aol.com>
Chicago, il usa - Tuesday, April 8, 2003 9:31 AM CDT

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Yvonne...It was so good to run into you yesterday. Any time that I see you I am left with such an overwelming sense of peace, love and strength - It remind me that the Fatherly hand is over us. Leilani and you have touched my life in such a way that it can hardly be expressed. Your faith and testimony has been such an inspiration to me and everyone that you have come into contact with .
I love the web page that you have created for Leilani. I could just sit and stare at her pictures for hours. Thank you for sharing her with the rest of the world. THE LORD BLESSED ME SO MUCH by giving me you and Leilani to touch my heart and my life.
I will never forget that she (that tiny, young brown-eyed girl) unselfishly prayed for me personally before she ever meet me. I will continue to pray for you.
Sheila Q. Riddle <criddle@surry.net>
Mt.Airy, NC USA - Tuesday, April 8, 2003 9:24 AM CDT

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Thanks for the message that you had updated Leilani's site. I thought it funny your asking Leilani if Uncle Skipper was there(heaven) and if so that God must be very forgiving. How often we wonder about loved ones who have passed away --if they are in heaven -- just how forgiving is God? I am reminded at this approaching Easter time of one other sinner hanging on a cross at the same time Jesus was crucified. The criminal said, "Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom." Jesus answered him, "I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise." (Luke 23: 42-43) God is oh so forgiving and merciful. He loves us so. Our children understood His love and mercy and accepted it so much easier than many of us adults.
I was having a tough time today and am glad I visited your site. I think of Nathan often and how I do miss him so. It is the missing him and not being able to hug and kiss him that makes the day so hard. It is the grace of God, my faith, that reminds me that Nathan is in heaven and is so much better off there, in heaven, than here where he suffered. Nathan passed away April 26th so this is a hard month for me.
I'm so glad that you were able to have a dream about Leilani. Any parent who has lost a child would understand how very special that is.
Do take care. Try not to stay so busy that you forget to notice the little gifts God sends us daily. Perhaps the warmth of the sunshine or the arrival of the butterflies.


Kathy Noor (Brenners Angel Mom) <jacson5>
Lexinton,, NC USA - Monday, April 7, 2003 4:41 PM CDT

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Hi Yvonne, You have done such a beautiful job, both with your testimony, and with Leilani's page. How wonderful to know that our precious treasures are in Heaven. I also have had to cry out to Jesus to help me when I felt that I couldn't bear the pain, and He has always been there for me, too. It is good to keep "too busy to think!" Won't Leilani and Timmy be so proud of us someday! Thank you so much for your prayers for me and my Dad, too. He is doing better!

Love, Karen
Karen Galvan <Kgalvan23@aol.com>
Syracuse, NY USA - Monday, April 7, 2003 9:12 AM CDT

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Very beautiful pictures! Thank you for updating us:) Love, Tracy

Visit Katia's Page and sign her guestbook :) (Leukemia AML M4)

Tracy Solomon
Tampa, FL - Monday, April 7, 2003 3:22 AM CDT

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Greetings,
I just read the poem you wrote to your daughter. It depicts so well your love and admiration for her as well as Our Father. I lost my precious girl Kaitlyn in June 2000 from childhood cancer. A very dear friend of mine lost her 9 year-old-daughter Megan from ALL this week. While I was reading the Heavenly Lights newsletter I was thinking about my friend and wishing there was more I could do or say. Within seconds I scrolled down and read the wonderful poem you wrote to your daughter. I hope you don't mind that I sent my friend the poem. I know it will mean a lot to her. I firmly believe God works through us to do His good work. Thank you for sharing, I know how painful this life is living without your girl. You are an inspiration.
Smiles,
Catherine Seckington-Kaitlyn's mommy
Catherine Seckington <seckfourangelone.mcnpk@verizon.net>
Upland, CA USA - Saturday, April 5, 2003 5:47 PM CST

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I know your pain so very well I can't even put into words what I'm feeling right now. But then, there aren't any words to describe it nor are there any words necessary. Please know that my spirit reaches out through my tears and hugs yours. Praise be to God who has touched our sorrow with hope!
Yolanda Rogers, Mommy to Anna, http://www.galatians5.com - <galatians5@truevine.net>
Altamonte Springs, FL USA - Saturday, April 5, 2003 7:39 AM CST

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P.S. I FORGOT TO LET YOU KNOW THAT ELOISA WON A PRIZE FOR WRITING ABOUT LEILANI AT SCHOOL. SHE'S GOING TO GET AN AWARD ON GRADUATION DAY. WHAT A WONDERFUL TRIBUTE TO LEILANI. I'LL GET A COPY AND FORWARDED ON TO YOU.

LOVE

MOM
SALLY SERRANO
- Friday, April 4, 2003 1:15 PM CST

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Hi, mi hija,

It's your mom on earth - I needed to write and let you know that after yesterday reading my baby's web page two songs came on and I know for sure it was a sign from GOD that he knows what we feel and how we feel and that SHE is there by HIS side. The first song that came on was OUR song the one that you dedicated to me many years ago "WIND BENEATH MY WINGS" by Beth Middler and about a half hour later LEILANI's song came along "TO WHERE YOU ARE". You have no idea the chill that went through me..... But my JESUS is here and present in everything that I do, think and speak. I am so much closed to HIM that I could ever imagine to be. Your dad needs to be worked on and I pray and pray everyday and everynite that HE will give me a miracle and have dad turned around. He's a lot better than he use to be so for that I am most greatful. We mi querida hija necesito que regresar a trabajar - el Lunes te vuelvo a escribir para platicarte como me fue este fin de semana.

Tu mama aqui en la tierra.

Sally
Sally Serrano <swriterMD@hotmail.com>
Richmond, VA USA - Friday, April 4, 2003 1:13 PM CST

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You have a beautiful daughter and I hope that the Lord is with you always!
Crystal Collins
Mount Airy, NC USA - Friday, April 4, 2003 7:48 AM CST

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My dearest daughter, Yvonne, yes mom finally got into this beautiful aculate of my granddaughter. I shed a tear (not just one but many) here at work and I want to thank YOU for being who and what you are. Your mother in heaven is so proud of you for having the strength that you have shown all of us. OUR LORD is our SAVIOUR and he is all powerfull and mighty. We all reunite with Leilani when our time comes. The only sad part of it is we wish it were now. We all miss her so very much, but we must go on. The only other consolation that I have is knowing that GRANDMA LYNNE is with her every minute of the day, nite. I want to thank GRANDMA LYNNE for having given us LEILANI to share at least for 9 years. It was a great blessing and now she will share her for the rest of eternity. I LOVE YOU SO VERY MUCH YVONNE that words cannot express how much. GOD BLESS.
I'll call you later this week.

Love,

GRANDMA SERRANO
SALLY SERRANO <SWRITERMD@HOTMAIL.COM>
RICHMOND, VA USA - Thursday, April 3, 2003 12:53 AM CST

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Your letter to your daughter touched me deeply. May God ease your pain and may you find peace and comfort.

www.caringbridge.org/ga/mckenzief
Carol Fleming---mom to McKenzie (Rhabdo-kids)
Moultrie, GA USA - Wednesday, April 2, 2003 9:24 AM CST

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Yvonne, your webpage gave me chills -- good chills! I've been reading everything I can get my hands on about Heaven since our precious daughter Adrienne left us in January. When you spoke of Leilani's description of Heaven I got so excited about the fact that our children are still living, just not here in this world. They are no longer suffering, praise God. While I was standing next to my daughter in the PICU after they told me she was gone, the Lord said to me, "I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live." He let me know that this "death" that I was looking at was not forever. Thank you for sharing your beautiful site. I was having a hard time this morning with my grief. You have been a blessing.

Adrienne's site: http://www.caringbridge.org/tx/adrienne

Nichelle <rejoice_first_lady@yahoo.com>
Cedar Park, TX USA - Tuesday, April 1, 2003 8:51 AM CST

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Oh Yvonne, what a beautiful letter to your sweet Leilani. You sure are here doing the Lord's work. I see you spread the Word firsthand. You allow your light to shine in this cold, dark, cruel world. God sees your heart of hearts. He knows that you love Him so much. One day, you will be rewarded for all of your works. I know that when you are reunited with Leilani, she will say, "Mommy, I knew you could do it. I am so lucky that you are my mommy."

Yvonne, thank you for sharing your heart. And please continue to take some time for yourself. This is so important. Talk about Leilani and cry for Leilani. Satan would love to attack you with a busy life. Then, when you least expect it, he will attack you with feelings of regret, guilt and anger. Let's bind him right in his own tracks.

Tell the boys and Jose that we said hi and send our love.

www.caringbridge.org/nc/noellenicholas

Love,
Wendy <vbaber@triad.rr.com>
Winston-Salem, NC - Sunday, March 30, 2003 8:59 PM CST

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This webpage is so beautiful and so is your precious Leilani. She sounds like she was so smart and wise. You are so strong and I really admire that. God bless.
Jeanette (Jalen's Mommy) www.caringbridge.org/fl/jalen <tru2200@aol.cm>
Wellington, Fl - Saturday, March 29, 2003 1:24 AM CST

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Yvonne,

I just read through Reese's entries and found your website. What a wonderful tribute to your beautiful daughter, Leilani. Your strength, courage, and faith are an inspiration. Leilani was a beautiful girl and I see where she received her strength and courage. Thank you for sharing your journey and your beautiful angel. Angel Joanne, a friend, just earned her wings in January - she too was only 9 years old. I'm sure she and Leilani are having a blast in heaven, pain free (www.joannepang.org. I will pray for God to give you the strength to get through each day and to give you faith. You are a wonderful mommy. God bless you.
Diane <thevezz@aol.com>
San Francisco, CA USA - Friday, March 28, 2003 1:34 AM CST

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Your little girl was certainly beautiful & precious. I am sorry you dont have her to hold and kiss. I dont understand why these things happen to children who are the best gifts in life. I have an 11 yr. old daughter...Paige...who is battling cancer for the second time in her life. She is almost done with her chemo..2 more to go. Her 37 yr. old father died last year from cancer, which he battled many times in his life.

www.caringbridge.org/oh/paigehaney
Tina Haney <lilgirlie5396@hotmail.com>
East Liverpool, oh USA - Thursday, March 27, 2003 5:17 PM CST

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Hi Yvonne,
First of all I want to say that Leilani is sitting right now beside the lord. She has gone to a better place, she could not been in a better place.
God is love and she is not sufferinig anymore.
I admire your whole family for been strong. Just remember Ivonne, your whole family will reunite with her in time.
Take care, and Leileani and Family are in my prayers.
God bless,
Love ya
Lisa
Elisa Lopez
Mt. Airy, nc 27030 - Monday, March 24, 2003 10:48 AM CST

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Hi Yvonne,
What a beautiful web site you have for Leilani. I know she's looking down on you from heaven. You and your family are in my prayers!
Kathy Haws
Thousand Oaks, CA. - Monday, March 24, 2003 1:32 AM CST

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Hi Yvonne,

I'm a friend of Wendy's, I met you at the memorial service at Baptist.

I love the website..Leilani is so beautiful. I bet she and Noelle are dancing in Heaven!

I hope that you and your family are doing well, we continue to pray for you. Hope to see you again soon.
Lynn Kanode <lbk3767@alltel.net>
Winston-Salem, NC - Saturday, March 22, 2003 9:56 AM CST

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Hi Yvonne, I love the web page! I wonder if I could make one like it for Tim? I would love to! It's not too hard? I dreamt about Timmy last night, and just remembered the dream this a.m. (If I awaken from the dream, I usually start crying.) I was just holding him...
Leilani sounds like such a sweet, loving little girl. I know that the first year is so, so hard. Ask God to give you a gift from Him during the hard times, and just cry out to Jesus for help when it hurts so bad. You WILL make it through these really hard times. Love, Karen
Karen Galvan <Kgalvan23@aol.com>
Syracuse, NY USA - Friday, March 21, 2003 12:16 AM CST

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Hi Yvonne,
What a beautiful poem. What a beautiful daughter. What a beautiful thing to believe in God and heaven and take comfort in the knowledge that Leilani is with Him. Our prayers are with you and your family. Thank you for taking the time to visit with us at Zac's website. What a wonderful person and mother you are.
God bless you and yours.
Wishing you peace and love,
Natalee & Zac
Natalee & Zac Howland <http://caringbridge.org/fl/zachowland>
Lake Worth, FL - Thursday, March 20, 2003 10:01 PM CST

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Hi Yvonne: Miss having you around the office and also miss seeing Leilani's beautiful smile. I know she is having a blast in heaven because God was so important to her. Heaven now has one of the most beautiful angels. My prayers are with you and your family everyday.
Sherri Coalson
Mount Airy, NC USA - Thursday, March 20, 2003 10:50 AM CST

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Hi, Yvonne. I'm so glad that you were able to get your site up. The pictures are just wonderful, Leilani is so sweet and beautiful. I really liked the picture of her holding her puppies. The idea of her jumping on God's belly like a tampoline is such an awesome image. I can imagine what her laughter must be like -- I can only wonder or ponder what the laughter of God must sound like. Take care from one of your Brenner's Angels Friends.
Kathy Noor
Lexington, NC USA - Wednesday, March 19, 2003 3:57 PM CST

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Leilani is a beautiful child. I cannot imagine the
suffering of losing this precious little girl. May
God bless you and comfort you.

David Harold
Mount Airy, NC USA - Tuesday, March 18, 2003 3:46 PM CST

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My niece was a blessing from God and though I miss her tremondously, I am happy that she is with Jesus. She is happy there and, like my sister says, one day we will be together forever.
Trinidad Guadalupe Serrano <swriter75@aol.com>
Richmond, VA USA - Tuesday, March 18, 2003 2:20 PM CST

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Hi there. I got your page from the Babers and wanted to stop by to let you know that I was here and read what you had to say about your beautiful little girl. I'm right here in NC too--hopefully we can meet sometime. We'll see. Feel free to come on over to my page and visit anytime you have time. Blessings to you!
Khalita My Caringbridge Page Duke Peds BMT Aplastic Anemia <khalita@hecaresonline.org>
Lexington, NC - Tuesday, March 18, 2003 10:25 AM CST

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Thank you so much for sharing this page with me. Leilani is beautiful and I am sure she makes a perfect angel in heaven above!! Enjoy the CD and please continue your prayers for Katia. Love, Tracy

Visit Katia's Page and sign her guestbook :) (Leukemia AML M4)

Tracy Solomon
Tampa, FL - Monday, March 17, 2003 9:16 PM CST

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Hello Fernandiez Family
I was very excited to see that you got your site up and running, This site is very uplifting and I know God is going to bless through this site, I Thank God for you and Wendy with pepole like you it makes things better, I really enjoyed viewing this site along with Noelle and Nicholas siteI'am sure all of our babies are in heaven waiting on that Great Day when we all can be together but in the mean time I'am sure they're all playing and loving one another I can see Lamar smiling as he meets his new family.Pray for us as we start working on Lamar's site.
God Bless You
April Daniels <miracleld@aol.com>
Winston-Salem, NC Forsyth - Monday, March 17, 2003 8:50 PM CST

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LeiLani is our personal Angel in heaven now. We all miss her dearly, yet know in time we will see her again, as we will so many other family members and friends we've lost in the years.
We can't thank God enough, for being by my nieces side through out her illiness, & for holding her hand as she entered the gates of heaven. She is now watching down on us as only an Angel can. We miss her very much.
We admire the strength her mother had through out the illness, & all the strength/faith she will have for the rest of her life for her boys, her husband, and God.

I'm sure in the years to come, she will help many others experiencing the illiness my niece did. I'm quite sure her mother will try to find the sources needed to keep the faith that this disease will one day, be curable & banished from this earth.

Never lose faith..in God we must trust.

We love you LeiLani!
Keep heaven aglowing, with your beautiful smile, we can always use a bit more sunshine down here on earth!

God Bless My Entire Family..
God Bless Everyone..on Earth.

The Florida Family
Da'maris <DizzyKisser@aol.com >
West Palm Beach, Fl Palm Beach - Sunday, March 16, 2003 11:15 PM CST

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she's a very pretty gurl and God bless her. We wish her all the best.
shantel <wsh728>
west palm beach, fl U.S - Sunday, March 16, 2003 11:08 PM CST

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hey thanx for asking me to come sign yalls guest book.:)
shantel <wsh728>
west palm beach, fl U.S - Sunday, March 16, 2003 11:03 PM CST

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I am so excited that you have begun Leilani's page. I will pray that many lives will be touched and perhapse changed by your sweet little angel. We will continue to pray for all of you.

I can just see Leilani and Noelle holding Nicholas' hand jumping on God's belly in heaven. I can even see them sun-bathing at the ocean. Can you imagine them dancing around on the beach and chasing little man?

Thank you Yvonne for sharing with us. I will mention you in our next update.

www.caringbridge.org/nc/noellenicholas

Much Love,
Wendy Baber <vbaber@triad.rr.com>
Winston-Salem, NC - Saturday, March 15, 2003 9:55 AM CST

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