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Friday, December 28, 2007 11:08 PM CST

Hello Friends...

I just wanted to check in quickly to let you know that we had a VERY NICE CHRISTmas! YES, we miss Brent... but GOD has been SO GOOD to carry us through each day. I know that our LORD has used each of you in a mighty way as you've prayed for us and encouraged us along the way. I sometimes feel guilty for not checking in with you more often... you've been so good about checking in on us. I think I was dreading all of those holiday "firsts" so much that I'd kind of put myself in some sort of shell or something. We're down to less than a week and we'll have the last of those behind us. As I'm sure most of you know Brent's REAL (HEAVENLY) birthday was January 1, 2007. Since HEAVEN doesn't "know" time as we know it I kind of doubt that there's any recognition of these dates. Nonetheless, I'm sure we'll remember them for the rest of our lives. HOPEFULLY one day we will be at a place that we can actually celebrate Brent's homecoming. I KNOW that we would here... how much MORE should we now that's he's found EVERYTHING we've all longed for? We absolutely LONG for the family reunion that will NEVER end! AMEN????

Now, as for the little ones... Zach will have the blood and liver panel done next week. We're OBVIOUSLY praying for "NORMAL" lab results! NOTHING high or out of the way. I also asked that they do the urine testing again on both boys. (It's HMA and VMA) I'd probably ask that they both be scanned but Link won't let me. (Those "scans" increase your risks of developing cancer themselves) I suppose it's good to have at least ONE levelheaded person in the home??? HA!! Seriously though... we're ONLY doing blood and urine tests... nothing more. I'll go ahead and share what I've found on cancer.gov



Tests that examine many different body tissues and fluids are used to detect (find) and diagnose neuroblastoma.

The following tests and procedures may be used:

Physical exam and history: An exam of the body to check general signs of health, including checking for signs of disease, such as lumps or anything else that seems unusual. A history of the patient’s health habits and past illnesses and treatments will also be taken.

Twenty-four-hour urine test: A test in which urine is collected for 24 hours to measure the amounts of certain substances. An unusual (higher or lower than normal) amount of a substance can be a sign of disease in the organ or tissue that makes it. A higher than normal amount of the substances homovanillic acid (HMA) and vanillyl mandelic acid (VMA) may be a sign of neuroblastoma.

Blood chemistry studies: A procedure in which a blood sample is checked to measure the amounts of certain substances released into the blood by organs and tissues in the body. An unusual (higher or lower than normal) amount of a substance can be a sign of disease in the organ or tissue that makes it. A higher than normal amount of the hormones dopamine and norepinephrine may be a sign of neuroblastoma.

Cytogenetic analysis: A test in which cells in a sample of blood or bone marrow are viewed under a microscope to look for certain changes in the chromosomes.

Bone marrow aspiration and biopsy: The removal of a small piece of bone, bone marrow, and blood by inserting a needle into the hipbone or breastbone. A pathologist views both the bone and the bone marrow samples under a microscope to look for signs of cancer.

Biopsy: The removal of cells or tissues so they can be viewed under a microscope by a pathologist to check for signs of cancer.

X-ray: An x-ray is a type of energy beam that can go through the body and onto film, making a picture of areas inside the body.

CT scan (CAT scan): A procedure that makes a series of detailed pictures of areas inside the body, taken from different angles. The pictures are made by a computer linked to an x-ray machine. A dye may be injected into a vein or swallowed to help the organs or tissues show up more clearly. This procedure is also called computed tomography, computerized tomography, or computerized axial tomography.

Neurological exam: A series of questions and tests to check the brain, spinal cord, and nerve function. The exam checks a person’s mental status, coordination, and ability to walk normally, and how well the muscles, senses, and reflexes work. This may also be called a neuro exam or a neurologic exam.

Ultrasound exam: A procedure in which high-energy sound waves (ultrasound) are bounced off internal tissues or organs and make echoes. The echoes form a picture of body tissues called a sonogram.

Immunohistochemistry study: A procedure in which dyes or enzymes are added to a blood or bone marrow sample to test for certain antigens (proteins that stimulate the body's immune response).



I guess while we're being "educated" I'll go ahead and share the symptoms....


Possible signs of neuroblastoma include bone pain and a lump in the abdomen, neck, or chest.

The most common symptoms of neuroblastoma are caused by the tumor pressing on nearby tissues as it grows or by cancer spreading to the bone. These and other symptoms may be caused by neuroblastoma. Other conditions may cause the same symptoms. A doctor should be consulted if any of the following problems occur:

Lump in the abdomen, neck, or chest.
Bulging eyes.
Dark circles around the eyes ("black eyes").
Bone pain.
Swollen stomach and trouble breathing in infants.
Painless, bluish lumps under the skin in infants.
Weakness or paralysis (loss of ability to move a body part).


Less common signs of neuroblastoma include the following:

Fever.
Shortness of breath.
Feeling tired.
Easy bruising or bleeding.
Petechiae (flat, pinpoint spots under the skin caused by bleeding).
High blood pressure.
Severe watery diarrhea.
Jerky muscle movements.
Uncontrolled eye movement.
Swelling of the legs, ankles, feet, or scrotum


I also wanted to thank everyone that's left the kind messages in the guestbook and who've emailed me assuring me that I'm NOT crazy for asking for all of these tests. (LOL) I DO wonder sometimes if I'm walking a fine line... HA!! Seriously, you can't know how much your kind words mean. =-)

Okay... I'm going to sign off for now. I hope to do a more personal update soon. I've been trying so hard to keep myself busy (as not to THINK too much) that I've not really allowed myself much time to "play" online. I DO hope to update more frequently as we get through January. THANKS AGAIN for hanging with us!!!!

We love you,
Tonya

PS... for those of you who call or text me... I've lost my phone AGAIN! (TECHNICALLY, GABE lost it the last time... HEHEHEHE) O;-) If I've not found it by Monday, I guess I'll get a replacement. I would LOVE for those of you who've "swapped" phone numbers with me to resend them? I'll have NO WAY of finding some of you if you don't. (A good time for you to go into hiding eh??) HA!!

Friday, December 21, 2007 1:17 AM CST

HaPpY BiRtHdAy, GaBe!!! We LOVE YOU!!!!!!

Happy Birthday, Virginia... we love you too!!

(Gabe was born on his Aunt Ginia's birthday.. how COOL is that??) =-)


Hello Friends...

I've been meaning to update before now but honestly there's been so much going on that I've just not been able to. Last week Zach & Gabe BOTH tested POSITIVE for STREP! (YIKES!) Being the TREMENDOUSLY OVERPROTECTIVE mother that I am I asked that they do a blood panel that would show the boys LDH since we WERE already there. O:-) We have an AMAZING pediatrician (Dr. Ski) and of course they agreed! SOOOOOO... they called just a few days ago to tell us that Zach's LDH was "slightly elevated" and they want me to bring him back in about two weeks from now to repeat it. They're also planning to do a liver panel. (A "normal" LDH would be between 100-250....... Zach's was something like 379) Now you KNOW that we've done our share of panicking but we've put it in GOD'S hands. HOPEFULLY this has something to do with the strep. (Yes, we've done the "google" thing and are PRAYING that it's ANYTHING other than something bad) For those of you who don't remember... the "LDH" is one of the "tumor markers" that we WATCHED for over 2 years with Brent. Needless to say our FIRST response to the phone call was NOT good.

Last night Zach started complaining again about his throat hurting. I took him back to the doctor for a repeat on the strep test and PRAISE GOD it was NEGATIVE! NOW they're saying that his throat is sore from cold/sinus/gunk! I figured since I was there today I'd ask Dr. Ski if they'd do another test on the boys to rule out neuroblastoma. (Okay... HUMOR ME... the boys will PROBABLY be required by their psycho mama to do these random tests till they're like NINETY! HEHE) Again, Dr. Ski consented so the plan NOW is to do BOTH tests the first week of January.

NOW.. if you're up on your dates you know that we lost Brent the first week of January. It was January 2 to be exact! I'm sure we'll be "all over the place" that week.... so PLEASE remember us in your prayers!

On a happier note... Our sweet little Gabe turns 7 TODAY! (I'm up all hours of the night with him now because he's saying he doesn't feel good. UGH!! I DO hope it's nothing.. he wanted to have his cousin here for a sleep over. It's so hard to believe our baby is getting so big (and old!). He wasn't even 4 when Brent first got sick.... our poor babies... they've had to do so much "growing up" in such a short time. They miss their big brother like CRAZY! (We ALL do!!!)

I guess I'll try to wrap this up and see if I can get him to go to sleep. I'll end by asking you to remember the boys in prayer (ESPECIALLY Zach since we've already had one set of "iffy" numbers). Please pray for GOD'S JOY to abound during the holidays... these are MAJOR "firsts" without our precious Brent. Finally, I'm sure you've already heard by now... but the Beamons are facing the EXACT same road in their lives right now as we faced last year. They were told sweet little Maddie has only a couple of weeks to live. We remember all too well how heart wrenching this is... all of the emotions... EVERYTHING. We pray GOD'S PEACE, LOVE, MERCY & JOY to ABOUND in their lives as well.

THANK YOU ALL so much for checking in on us!
WE LOVE YOU!!!!
Tonya

Tuesday, December 11, 2007 7:01 PM CST

Hello Friends...

I'm sorry for being so long in updating... I've really been in a "slump" lately. It's so hard to face the holidays without Brent. EVERYTHING we've done this year was "a first" done without him. It doesn't help any KNOWING that this time last year we had just accepted that an earthly healing just wasn't GOD'S will. We didn't give up - knowing that GOD could ALWAYS step in and work a miracle, we'd just accepted that UNLESS HE did something really quick we were facing our last Christmas EVER with Brent. (I say "ever" because I don't think we'll "do" holidays in HEAVEN as there will be no time as we know it) Anyway... I've been doing EVERYTHING POSSIBLE to keep my mind busy. Sometimes I wonder if I'll drive myself mad by purposefully not allowing any time to rest. GOD has been our STRENGTH and I KNOW HE WILL continue to be. Oh, don't let me worry you... I'm sleeping... just staying busy when awake.

As for Link... well, I think he's in the same place I am. I can't and won't speak for him... he's more private and not so willing to put his feelings out there. Honestly, we've not talked a lot about how we're feeling. I know that as for myself I try to protect them. It seems that when I have a meltdown... everyone else does too. For that reason I try to hold it in for as long as possible and when I can't hold it in any longer I pour my heart out to GOD. I KNOW that some would argue that it's not healthy but it's how I'm dealing with it and it's the best way I know HOW. I'm just SO THANKFUL for our faith and the PROMISES of GOD. How anyone can deal with the loss of a child without JESUS is BEYOND me. I honestly CANNOT imagine it!

Oh... I'm sure that someone out there is thinking that the boys NEED to see us grieve and learn for themselves how to deal with it. I can ASSURE you that there are PLENTY of times that emotions CANNOT be held in and the little ones are right there offering their hugs and kisses. They miss their big brother terribly but understand that he's in a better place and that we'll see him again (HOPEFULLY SOON - PRAYING for JESUS' return! AMEN??) I would LOVE for them to see death as it is... the beginning of LIFE! The world will tell us that it's OVER.. as though we will NEVER see our loved one again. PRAISE GOD that just ISN'T SO! Because of what JESUS did on the cross we KNOW that eternity is REAL and that we WILL be together again FOREVER! I LOVE this passage that our friend Susan shared when we lost Brent.




Revelation 7:16-17 (New American Standard Bible)

16"They will hunger no longer, nor thirst anymore; nor will the sun beat down on them, nor any heat; 17for the Lamb in the center of the throne will be their shepherd, and will guide them to springs of the water of life; and God will wipe every tear from their eyes."


This is one of those beautiful promises concerning those who put their trust in JESUS. As much as we miss Brent, it's wonderful to know that he's not hungry or tired, he's not uncomfortable or hurting, and JESUS IS his "water of life." PRAISE GOD that HE will (or has) wipe(d) away every tear from our precious little man's eyes. As selfish as I am in wishing he were still here with us... I'd NEVER ask him to come back into this pain filled world. He's got the PRIZE! We've just got to wait until our GRANDEST "family reunion" EVER!

I guess you can see that I'm a bit "moody" tonight. I always hate updating with a heavy heart because I hate to think of bringing you down. However, this is part of our journey and we REALLY NEED your prayers right now. You've always been the most amazing source of love and support for us and we appreciate you more than we could ever say. THANKS SO MUCH for being there!

Until next time....

Love,
Tonya




Three Temptations
12/11/2007

Now when the tempter came to Him, he said, "If You are the Son of God, command that these stones become bread."
MATTHEW 4:3


"Jesus was tempted in every way that we are, yet He never sinned (Heb. 4:15). Jesus began His public ministry with His baptism. As John the Baptist raised Him from the water, Jesus heard His Father's affirmation, ""Well done!"" Immediately afterward, Jesus spent forty days fasting in the wilderness. There, Satan met Him and presented three temptations.

First, Satan enticed Jesus to use His divine power to transform stones into bread. It seemed like a logical thing to do. Jesus was hungry, but He had a much greater need to follow His Father's leading. The Father had led Him to fast; Satan sought to persuade Him to eat.

Next, Satan tried to convince Jesus to use Satan's means to accomplish the Father's ends. ""If You are the Son of God, throw Yourself down"" (Matt. 4:6). Jesus understood that this would be presumption, not faith. It would be attempting God's work in the world's way. The world looks for spectacular displays; God uses a holy life.

The final temptation Satan proposed for Jesus to achieve God's will was by worshiping Satan (Matt. 4:8-9). In return, Satan offered to give Him all the kingdoms of the world. By compromising, Jesus could gain a powerful ally, and achieve His mission without suffering the cross. Jesus knew that only God was to be worshiped and to do this would not bring instant success, as Satan promised, but devastating failure.

As you seek to follow God, temptations will inevitably come. Sometimes they will come to you immediately after a spiritual victory. Jesus relied on God's Word to see Him through the temptations that could have destroyed Him and thwarted God's plan. He has modeled the way for you to meet every temptation."





You can learn more about Dr. Blackaby, his writings, and his ministry at www.blackaby.org, or write:

Blackaby Ministries International
P.O. Box 16338
Atlanta, GA 30321

Wednesday, November 28, 2007 8:33 AM CST

Hello Friends!

I've been meaning to check in and do an update but for one reason, then the next it hasn't happened. I'm going to try to come back in the next day or two to do the "real" update.. but for now I wanted to share a neat way to raise money for your favorite organization without leaving the comfort of your home (or office). I may have told you already... I'm crazy and can't remember! At any rate.. it's a GREAT thing and worth telling again! It's called "igive." It's very simple really, all you do is click on this lovely little graphic and register!

Sunday, November 18, 2007 6:48 PM CST

Hello Friends!

I thought I'd start out with a slide show from this past week along with a little explanation behind the pics, then move on to the next fundraiser that I wanted to share with you.

First, I'll fill you in on the "road trip" that we took with Link. We went up as far as Kingdom City, Missouri then back down through Springfield, MO. We drove RIGHT PAST Branson, Mo but never stopped. Since we didn't do much sightseeing I won't have too much to share but I did get some neat shots as we traveled back and forth. You can't imagine the whining I did when I realized we were traveling RIGHT PAST our online friend (and Prayer Warrior) Susan Foster! I knew I didn't have her phone number with me and since we'd only be there a night there was just no way to find her. Link & I decided that I could post on Brent's site the same day and HOPE that she'd see it, but the hotel we stayed in had no internet. Wait, let me correct that... They DID say that they had "high speed" but it was so slow that my computer wouldn't make the connection. Then I had the bright idea of hooking the phone line to the computer, but again... NOTHING! (I'm using FREE AOL so since I wasn't a paying customer I couldn't use them for my connection) I suppose if I'd been "on my game" I might have realized that Kerry could've done the update for me requesting a call from Susan. However, I was so bummed about not having internet that it never crossed my mind. (See, I've told you guys that I'm REALLY dingy... I'm NOT pulling your leg... just ask anyone who REALLY knows me! HA!!!)

Back to the pictures... I took most of them as we were driving by. You will see that for some reasons I was really captivated by road signs. I think my family was actually HAPPY when I was taking pictures because at least for that amount of time I wasn't talking. HEHEHEHE!!

Now, the other pictures (the one starting with the big pile of leaves) were made at my sister's house today. I'm not going to give away what was happening, but it was A HOOT! I wish there was a way to put those in HIGH SPEED so it'd be as if you were watching in person. Either way, you'll get a big kick out of it. This is PURE, REDNECK FUN!! (If you'll notice there's a little piece of tissue in that big pile of leaves. Looks like evidence that someone had rolled their yard... but I won't comment on that)

SO.............. here's the slide.....

Now, about the next fundraising efforts to BLAST Neuroblastoma from the face of the earth.... Well, I'll just share the "flier" it speaks for itself.

Click cookie image above to order!!

The Band of Parents

(www.bandofparents.org), a non-profit foundation formed by parents of children suffering from a deadly
childhood cancer called Neuroblastoma, invites you to be a part of our holiday fundraiser and to give new hope to children fighting cancer.

This holiday, give freshly-baked cookies made using recipes from the recently published cookbook, Cookies, by acclaimed cookbook author Sally Sampson.

Our delicious handmade cookies will not only make the perfect holiday gift but nearly 100f the proceeds will directly support children’s cancer research at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer. You will feel good knowing your generous gift was lovingly baked by hand using all natural ingredients, while your purchase helps to provide hope for children battling cancer. Cookies will be baked, packed with care, and promptly shipped to your entire gift list. A card explaining the significance of your generous gift will also be included.

Please share this unique opportunity to give with your friends, co-workers, and family. A gift that tastes as good as it feels to give…



Place Order: November 16th – December 15th

Go To: www.cookiesforkidscancer.org

Cookies: Citrus Shortbread • Chocolate Chip Oatmeal • Snickerdoodle

Cost: $30/dozen* (plus shipping charges)
*A portion of your purchase may be tax deductible. Please consult your tax advisor.

Give all the kids fighting Neuroblastoma today, and those who will be so unfairly chosen to fight tomorrow, the hope all children deserve.

What would you do if you were told your child had a cancer
for which there was no known cure?

Most parents cannot imagine such unspeakable despair. But we have heard those words, and are trying desperately to save our children. We want a cure for every child who is battling Neuroblastoma, a lethal childhood cancer of the sympathetic nervous system that affects approximately 650 children in the U.S. every year. Only about 30f those diagnosed survive it.



HIGH RISK TREATMENT

As of 2007, our children's only chance of survival is to undergo one of the most intense cancer treatments. The standard treatment for Neuroblastoma offers no guarantees and virtually all children who do survive have significant side effects, including sterility, heart problems, learning defects, hearing loss, and the high risk of secondary cancers caused by the treatment itself. Most children will undergo numerous rounds of high dose chemotherapy, complicated surgeries, intense radiation therapy, endless x-rays, and scans that expose them to levels known to be dangerous. Children will also be subjected to numerous drugs and medicines often not developed or even proven safe for children. The treatments are torture for children to undergo and emotionally devastating for parents to watch. Kids lose their hair and pink cheeks, become vulnerable to serious infections and viruses when chemotherapy destroys their immunity, and cry in pain during countless invasive procedures. And it is unbearable to know that 70f these children will still die in their anguished parents' arms, their bodies overcome by a ruthless killer and their eyes full of fear and confusion, not understanding why their loving parents and committed doctors could not make them better.



REALITY

Why is there no effective treatment for advanced Neuroblastoma? The answer is simple and devastating: There is not enough money for research. Yet, consider this: Since the 1950's the rate of kids surviving leukemia shot from 10o 80Similarly, the survival rates for other types of cancers like, Breast Cancer for example, have also improved significantly thanks to extensive research that uncovered innovative and less invasive treatment options. Children diagnosed with cancer are faced with a reprehensible lack of funding from the government—and a shameful lack of interest from the pharmaceutical giants, because orphan diseases like Neuroblastoma promise little or no profit. Unfortunately no profit leaves pharmaceutical companies with little to no incentive to develop treatments. Children diagnosed with Neuroblastoma deserve better odds of survival on par with most other cancers.



Cancer kills more children per year than cystic fibrosis, muscular dystrophy, asthma and AIDS combined. But pediatric cancers collectively receive less than 3f the National Cancer Institutes $4.7 billion dollar annual budget. For every dollar spent on a patient with breast cancer, less than 30 cents is spent on a child with cancer. Aren't children our most precious resource? How can you put a price on a child's life?



BOUND BY HOPE

The institution is working on several pioneering treatments including a humanized version of the 3F8 antibody, used exclusively at MSKCC. The mouse-based 3F8 antibody attaches to Neuroblastoma cells and kills them. The antibody, developed by MSKCC's Dr. Cheung, also trains a child's immune system to attack and kill Neuroblastoma. Since first used in 1987, 3F8 treatment has greatly improved survival without lasting side effects. The mouse-based antibody’s primary drawback is that it can be rejected by the child’s own immune system (HAMA). It is believed a humanized version would alleviate this issue and make it more effective for a greater number of patients. The cost to develop this treatment is estimated to be just $2 – 3 million, a small sum by today’s standards.



HOW YOU CAN HELP


Lack of money bars the way, and time is running out for many of these kids. Today hope lies with private institutions, generous donors, and dedicated researchers, who have made it their mission to discover safer, more effective treatments and a cure.

We as the parents of children diagnosed with this relentless cancer are reaching out in hopes that you will help. Won’t you please support the research so urgently needed to give all the kids fighting Neuroblastoma today, and those who will be so unfairly chosen to fight tomorrow, the hope all children deserve?




Alrighty, My Friends... I've kept you long enough. Thanks SO MUCH for stopping by to check on us - more than anything, we THANK YOU for your PRAYERS!!

Love,
Tonya (Link, Zach & Gabe)






Thursday, November 15, 2007 10:02 PM CST

Hello Friends!

I'm checking in to tell you a little about an organization that we're really trying to get behind and help raise much needed money and awareness! It's called "Lunch for Life." You probably guessed it... it's a group that's raising money for Neuroblastoma research. One of the doctors that this group helps fund is actually one that works with St. Jude. Okay, don't take that as "the gospel" because I confuse easily and make LOTS of mistakes. (Daily, hourly, even from minute to minute... HEHEHE!)

I threw in that "disclaimer" because I don't want to fib to anyone. However, Link and I BOTH recognized one of the names from their site as one that we've heard about from St. Jude. Do you remember when they'd check Brent's bone marrow in search of tumor cells? Well, they'd send the samples to a doctor in California. I can offer my opinion as to why, or even try to tell you what they told us. At any rate, there are LOTS of people out there working HARD to END this horrible disease and for obvious reasons we're OUT TO GET Neuroblastoma! Yes, we were and forever will be THANKFUL for all that St. Jude did but people from EVERYWHERE support them. I'm talking about money going DIRECTLY TO Neuroblastoma research, not divided between all the others. YES, every single one of the others deserve research... but those didn't cripple and take the life of my son.

I said all of that to say that I want to share a letter that I send out to many of my friends. I didn't send it to everyone because I don't want to put people "on the spot" or make them feel obligated to support something just because we are. If I post it here and you are led to help out, then GREAT! If not, well, there's absolutely NO pressure. I'm really excited because... well, you can read the letter!



https://lunchforlife.org/cookbook_secure.aspx

Hello Everyone!

I wanted to take a minute of your time to tell you about a really neat cookbook that will be out in December. I received an email from this organization about a month or so ago stating that they wanted all "Lunch for Life" families to contribute their favorite recipe along with a picture of their child. I quickly sent in one of my favorite pictures of Brent. As for the recipe, well, I KNEW IMMEDIATELY that I HAD to share the one for Brent's FAVORITE - Sweet Potato Bread! ALL PROFITS will go to Neuroblastoma research. We've been a part of this non-profit group for over a year now. It is made up of many other families just like ours. Some are still fighting for their children... others have already gone on to Heaven. After all that our sweet Brent went through, we are COMPLETELY PASSIONATE about helping fund research to FIGHT this relentless disease. (Don't get me started on the lack of money that our government will spend on research for childhood cancer or that people HAPPILY send MILLIONS out of our country to fight AIDS - NEVER MIND that CANCER is the #1 killer of children) Let me share some FACTS:

Childhood cancer is the leading cause of death by disease in the US and it kills more children per year than cystic fibrosis, muscular dystrophy, asthma and AIDS combined. There are 15 children diagnosed with cancer for every one child diagnosed with pediatric AIDS. Yet, the U.S. invests approximately $595,000 for research per victim of pediatric AIDS and only $20,000 for each victim of childhood cancer.



Back to the cookbook....
The TOTAL cost is 23.90 (that's with tax and shipping already figured in) And remember, unless something has changed there will be a VERY HANDSOME little man featured somewhere in that book who would've been TICKLED BEYOND WORDS to have his face in print! (You know how much he LOVED being "famous")



Take care...
We love you,
Tonya

PS... Please feel free to "copy and paste" this letter and send it to everyone that you think might be interested in joining the fight. Another quick fact on Neuroblastoma taken from the Lunch for Life site:

Neuroblastoma is the most common cancer found in infants and the most common extra-cranial solid tumor found in children. There is very little known about why neuroblastoma occurs, or about what factors increase the risk for occurrence. There is no known cure.
Every 16 hours a child with neuroblastoma dies.




Okay, so that was the letter. Again, I don't mean to put a "guilt trip" on anyone... I just thought that the cookbook would be a really neat way to help raise money and would also serve as a keepsake/reminder of our sweet Brent. You can click on the cookbook below or the one above the update. They will both take you to the site.

I'll try to check in again in the next day or two. I have another charity that's fighting Neuroblastoma that we're working with. They're doing a really neat cookie sale to raise money. The proceeds will go to Memorial Sloan Kettering in New York. From what I hear, they've got an antibody that MIGHT help as many as HALF of the children that chemo is no longer helping. It's really sad that the cure might just boil down to MONEY. UGH!! You can visit them at bandofparents.org


Until next time....
Love,
Tonya

Tuesday, November 13, 2007 6:42 AM CST

Hello Friends....

This will be another short update but I wanted to share the cards that our sweet boys made for me. Yesterday was my birthday - I turned 29 - AGAIN! (Ha!!!!) Seriously, I'm 34 now. I updated late last night on my blog so if you've been there you'll have heard part of this already. You see, the boys made it as special as possible. I was so blessed when they each brought me their homemade birthday cards yesterday morning. (They stayed up after I went to bed the night before and made them so it would be a surprise) It was a nice birthday... but it was another "first" without Brent. (Everything is) I also couldn't help but remember that this was the day that we went "in patient" with Brent and never came out again. UGH... We MISS HIM SO MUCH!!!

Okay... In keeping this short, and in effort to avoid a meltdown this morning I'm going to sign off leaving you with copies of my birthday cards.


This is the outside of the one that Zach made me..... It says, "To Mom: From: Zach"



The inside reads.... "I love you and Jesus loves you"



The outside of Gabe's.......



The inside of Gabe's (not as much effort, but still special)




Thanks SO MUCH for checking in on us and for the birthday wishes! You guys are the best!

We love you!!!
Tonya

Thursday, November 8, 2007 3:49 PM CST

Steadfast in Your Resolve
11/8/2007

"Now it came to pass, when the time had come for Him to be received up,
that He steadfastly set His face to go to Jerusalem."
LUKE 9:51


"It is easy to become distracted in the Christian life! The moment you understand what God wants you to do, it will seem as though everyone around you requires your time and attention! When the time came for Jesus to go to the cross, He ""set His face"" toward Jerusalem, so that nothing would prevent Him from accomplishing His Father's will. So obvious was His resolve to go to Jerusalem that the Samaritans, who hated the Jews, rejected Him because they recognized that He was a Jew traveling through their village to the hated city of Jerusalem.

Jesus determined not to digress from His mission, but He took time to minister to many people along His way. He sent out seventy disciples into the surrounding towns (Luke 10:1). He healed lepers (Luke 17:11-19). He cured a man of dropsy (Luke 14:1-4). He brought salvation to the home of Zaccheus (Luke 19:1-10). He continued to teach His disciples (Luke 15:1-32). Jesus did not refuse to minister to others as He went to Calvary, but ultimately He refused to be deterred from His Father's will.

If you know what God wants you to do, set your sights resolutely toward that goal with full determination to accomplish it (Prov. 4:25). Your resolve to go where God is leading ought to be evident to those around you. Beware of becoming so sidetracked by the opportunities around you that you lose sight of God's ultimate goal for you. Do not succumb to the temptation to delay your obedience or to discard it altogether. Once you have received a clear assignment from God, your response should be unwavering obedience."






You can learn more about Dr. Blackaby, his writings, and his ministry at www.blackaby.org, or write:

Blackaby Ministries International
P.O. Box 16338
Atlanta, GA 30321





Hello Friends,

I thought I'd do something different and START with the devotion instead of ending with it. I don't get too caught up with "devotions" because I've learned that GOD'S WORD (alone) can speak in TREMENDOUS ways to my heart when I read it. Sometimes devotions are EXACTLY what I need, and others... well, sometimes I just may not agree with what's being taught. I thought this devotion was great because it encourages us to "keep on keeping on" when we KNOW what GOD'S will is for our lives. Sometimes HIS will is hard. It's NOT always "an easy word." However, GOD'S WILL IS ALWAYS BEST! We've had some people to tell us that it's NOT GOD'S will for this or that... well, all I can say is that we BELIEVE GOD'S WORD, WE STOOD ON GOD'S WORD, and Brent spent his last days "CLAIMING HIS HEALING." He DID GET his healing, but it was NOT in the way we had prayed for. I'm not sure if I shared with you about my Ephesians 3:20 passage. That was our LIFE VERSE! (HE is ABLE to DO IMMEASURABLY MORE than ALL we can ASK OR IMAGINE) Is that verse true?? ABSOLUTELY! I became almost sarcastic when I'd hear someone use this verse after Brent got his Heavenly healing. After all, we LITERALLY BREATHED this passage! Then, at the "Deeper Still" conference in Nashville, TN, GOD showed me a new truth about that passage. HE DID give Brent a HEALING that was IMMEASURABLY MORE than ALL we asked for imagined. Were we happy about it?? Well, yes and no. Yes, because we watched him suffer and were ready for him to be HEALED, no matter what that meant. Yes, because we watched as GOD prepared his heart to go HOME. YES, because we KNOW that Brent is in a place that is SO MUCH BETTER than anything we can even imagine here. YES, because we KNOW that we WILL see him again! Obviously we were NOT happy that we lost our precious boy. We will wake up every day and know that he is gone. We will know that until we see him again in Heaven we won't get anymore of his hugs, kisses, or sweet smiles. We won't get to hear him say that he loves us. I won't get to hear him call my name from across the room. As much as all of this hurts, we REJOICE in knowing that he is with his LORD - that he was READY TO GO HOME, and that if given the opportunity he would NEVER COME BACK. We can say with PEACE as King David that though we cannot bring him back... we WILL go to him!

2 Samuel 12:22-23
22He said, "While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept; for I said, 'Who knows, the LORD may be gracious to me, that the child may live.' 23"But now he has died; why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me."



Oh, how my HEART REJOICES that we have JESUS! We don't have to worry about whether or not we will see him again. What a PRECIOUS PROMISE we have from our LORD....



2 Corinthians 5:5-8 (New American Standard Bible)

5Now He who prepared us for this very purpose is God, Who gave to us the Spirit as a pledge. 6Therefore, being always of good courage, and knowing that while we are at home in the body we are absent from the Lord-- 7for we walk by faith, not by sight-- 8we are of good courage, I say, and prefer rather to be absent from the body and to be at home with the Lord.



It is my prayer that each of you have also trusted JESUS as YOUR LORD & SAVIOR! I've heard people give all sorts of excuses but what it boils down to is that without HIM we are LOST. Without HIM we have no PEACE THAT PASSES UNDERSTANDING. Without HIM we have NO HOPE of any "tomorrows" EVER again. I LOVE my LORD because of WHO HE IS, but also for what HE has done. I can HONESTLY say that we COULD NOT make it through one single moment of this without HIM. HE RESTORES our JOY! HE IS OUR HOPE! Okay.. I go on for HOURS "singing HIS praises!"

On another note... GOD has blessed me with a new friend. Her name is Daphne and she has been such a blessing. She's taken on my sister Kerry and me and has started teaching us to sew. Now, if you REALLY KNOW how DINGY we are you realize what she has taken on. (HA!!!!!!!!) I'm going to try to snap some pictures during our next lesson. We're making baby blankets. (Can't wait to show you the pics of those!) This lady has patience of... WELL, I can't think of anything to compare it to... HA!!! Let's just say she's got her hands FULL!



Thank you SO MUCH for checking in on us! We love and appreciate you more than you will ever know. Have a BLESSED weekend!

Love,
Tonya

Wednesday, November 7, 2007 9:07 AM CST

I have a PRAISE update! Aunt Bibby & Uncle Jason (Link's sister Elizabeth and her hubby) got the WONDERFUL news that they have been APPROVED to go into adoption! Now, we just wait on GOD to send the baby/babies that HE already has in mind for them. Please join us in praying that this will go quickly and they will soon have their new bundle of joy! (Of course we want GOD'S will.. but if it IS HIS will... we want that baby NOW! This comes from a very anxious auntie! HEHEHE...)

Thanks SO MUCH FOR YOUR PRAYERS!!

Tonya



AAAWWWWWW, MAN! After I openly admit to being impatient, I go and read today's devotion. HA!! Too funny! (It's about waiting on GOD'S timing) I LOVE it when GOD shows me I'm wrong in humorous ways. Nothing funny about the devotion, just that I'm amused how quickly he "popped my hand."




Tempted by Shortcuts
11/7/2007

Then Abishai said to David, "God has delivered your enemy into your hand this day. Now therefore, please, let me strike him at once with the spear, right to the earth;and I will not have to strike him a second time!"
1 SAMUEL 26:8


"You will sometimes be tempted to take shortcuts to your destinations in life. David faced this temptation numerous times before he finally assumed the throne. Samuel, God's prophet, had anointed David and prophesied that he would be the next king of Israel (I Sam. 16:12-13). Yet, while David waited on God's timing, he watched in frustration as a crazed King Saul brought the kingdom into jeopardy. Saul pursued David to murder him, forcing David to flee for his life.

Then an incredible opportunity presented itself to David. David found Saul in a vulnerable position, sleeping with his army. Abishai, one of David's warriors, offered to kill Saul. It seemed to make perfect sense. Saul had tried to kill David on numerous occasions. God had said He intended for David to be the king. By taking matters into his own hands, David could bring an end to his exile and assume the throne as God's anointed servant. Yet he refused to compromise his integrity in order to become king, even though he wanted the position and it was rightfully his. Accomplishing God's will in any manner other than the way God prescribed was unthinkable.

At times you may face similar temptations. Well-meaning friends advise you to hasten God's will for you rather than waiting upon Him. You may be sorely tempted to take control of your situation, assuming the end will justify the means. These are the times when you must trust God's perfect timing. God may plan for you to attain a certain position or take a new direction, but the timing may not be right. Watch over your heart. Don't allow others to persuade you to compromise your integrity as you follow God's will."






You can learn more about Dr. Blackaby, his writings, and his ministry at www.blackaby.org, or write:

Blackaby Ministries International
P.O. Box 16338
Atlanta, GA 30321









Monday, Nov 5, 2007 7:12 PM CST


Psalm 90:14
14 Satisfy us each morning with your unfailing love,
so we may sing for joy to the end of our lives.


Hello Friends...

Does this verse not remind you a beautiful brown-eyed, little man? There is no way that anyone could ever be HAPPY about losing a child, but we SURE ARE BLESSED with the way his days ended. Singing for joy to the end of his life. (Psalm 90:17) I knew when I read this that I just had to share it with you! The rest of this passage ends like this....


Psalm 90:15-17
15 Give us gladness in proportion to our former misery!
Replace the evil years with good.
16 Let us, your servants, see you work again;
let our children see your glory.
17 And may the Lord our God show us HIS approval
and make our efforts successful.
Yes, make our efforts successful!


I've thought about several things that I'd like to share with you, but there's something that I posted on my blog last night that I think is much more interesting. (Something that a friend shared with us) For those of you who've visited me there and have already read the illustration of the corn kernel I apologize for the repeat. For everyone else... I know it'll bless you! It sure changed the way that I thought of death. (At least made me think of it in a more positive light) Okay... here goes............



1 Corinthians 15:35-43

The Resurrection Body

35 But someone may ask, “How will the dead be raised? What kind of bodies will they have?” 36 What a foolish question! When you put a seed into the ground, it doesn’t grow into a plant unless it dies first. 37 And what you put in the ground is not the plant that will grow, but only a bare seed of wheat or whatever you are planting. 38 Then God gives it the new body he wants it to have. A different plant grows from each kind of seed. 39 Similarly there are different kinds of flesh—one kind for humans, another for animals, another for birds, and another for fish.
40 There are also bodies in the heavens and bodies on the earth. The glory of the heavenly bodies is different from the glory of the earthly bodies. 41 The sun has one kind of glory, while the moon and stars each have another kind. And even the stars differ from each other in their glory.

42 It is the same way with the resurrection of the dead. Our earthly bodies are planted in the ground when we die, but they will be raised to live forever. 43 Our bodies are buried in brokenness, but they will be raised in glory. They are buried in weakness, but they will be raised in strength.



A friend of ours recently made the most beautiful illustration of death during our group Bible study last week. He's a crop consultant and has much experience with planting "seeds" and the "fruit" they produce.

He shared the passage above (that death brings LIFE) and he told some facts of the corn seed. See, When you plant a kernel of corn it dies. HOWEVER, in it's death a TREMENDOUS CHANGE HAPPENS! (WHEW.. NOW THIS gets me EXCITED!) The tiny little kernel of corn blooms into a stalk. From that ONE stalk you get 1 to 3 ears of corn. From those ears of corn you get 500-1,500 kernels. When using this illustration to make the comparison between our earthly bodies and our heavenly bodies, the difference between the two is TREMENDOUS! (And nothing we can imagine here even comes close to how GRAND & GLORIOUS it is in HEAVEN)

Our bodies are born into a sin stained world. They are only given to serve as "tents." We can STILL look forward to receiving our glorified bodies! Brent's weary, broken, and weak body will be raised in GLORY AND IN STRENGTH! Until then, we can rest in the promise that Brent IS IN THE PRESENCE of the LORD!


2 Corinthians 5:1-8

Assurance of the Resurrection

1 For we know that if our earthly house, this tent, is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. 2 For in this we groan, earnestly desiring to be clothed with our habitation which is from heaven, 3 if indeed, having been clothed, we shall not be found naked. 4 For we who are in this tent groan, being burdened, not because we want to be unclothed, but further clothed, that mortality may be swallowed up by life. 5 Now He who has prepared us for this very thing is God, who also has given us the Spirit as a guarantee.
6 So we are always confident, knowing that while we are at home in the body we are absent from the Lord. 7 For we walk by faith, not by sight. 8 We are confident, yes, well pleased rather to be absent from the body and to be present with the Lord.

We PRAISE GOD for HIS SON JESUS Who lived a sinless life so that HE could pay for ours. We PRAISE HIM that HE'S a RISEN SAVIOR - EVER LIVING to intercede for our sins! Because of CHRIST we're assured in the HOPE that we will be in Heaven with our LORD and with our loved ones who've gone on before us.

I guess it's easy to see why I was so blessed when our friend shared the parallel of the kernel of corn and the NEW LIFE it has once it dies! Our sweet Brent is experiencing JOY unimaginable. As much as we miss him, how can we not be happy for him? How can anyone EVER have peace in joyful times, much less in those of sorrow if they don't have CHRIST?




Well, my Friends, I guess I'm going to wrap it up. Thanks SO MUCH for visiting with us and for your prayers.


We love you,
Tonya





Wisdom Justified
11/5/2007

But wisdom is justified by all her children.
LUKE 7:35


"The world is full of ""experts."" There are people everywhere who want to convince you of the wisdom of their opinion. Yet God says that it is not the one who declares his viewpoint the most loudly or vociferously who is the wisest, but the one who is vindicated over time.

Wisdom is not proven by argument or debate. Wisdom is proven over time. Some people adamantly proclaim that their opinion is best. Regardless of how convincingly these people defend their viewpoint, time is the best judge of their wisdom. The result of a practice proves its validity, not how loudly it is promoted.

When you seek to obey what God has told you, you will sometimes meet resistance and criticism from others who disagree with the wisdom of your actions. Your immediate response may be the urge to vindicate yourself. However, if you wait patiently, time will reveal the wisdom of your actions far better than you could through argument.

Through the ages, the wisdom found in God's Word has been tested and proven true. It is critical that you measure everything you hear against the Scriptures. Trends in psychology and philosophy come and go, but God's Word is timeless. Whenever you share an opinion in counseling someone else, make sure that it comes from the Scripture and not merely from your best thinking. As long as you base your life choices on the Word of God, time will be your defender and will validate the wisdom of your choices. If, over time, you clearly see you are wrong, ask God's forgiveness and seek a fresh word from God through the Scripture. Then obey that word and watch to see God confirm His wisdom in your life."






You can learn more about Dr. Blackaby, his writings, and his ministry at www.blackaby.org, or write:

Blackaby Ministries International
P.O. Box 16338
Atlanta, GA 30321

Friday, November, 2 2007 10:14 AM CDT

Morning Friends!

I wanted to check in quickly to share an email that I've received SEVERAL times now and has REALLY disturbed me! After looking into it for myself and finding that many Christian groups are also concerned, I wanted to share what's started all the buzz and encourage you to join with us in taking a stand AGAINST this movie.


I'll share part of an email that I got from onemillionmoms.com



"The Golden Compass is a film from New Line Cinema based on the first book of a series, His Dark Materials, written by English atheist Philip Pullman. It is set to release December 7 in theaters nationwide. From watching the trailer, it's easy to see that the film has a C. S. Lewis/Narnia feel to it, but don't be deceived.

Pullman's book trilogy is the story of "a battle against the church and a fight to overthrow God," BBC News reported. The Guardian, a British newspaper, goes even further to describe the books as "metaphysical fantasies encompassing parallel worlds, the death of God and the fall of man ...."

"I don't know whether there's a God or not. Nobody does, no matter what they say," Pullman said in an interview posted on his website.

"One of the [book] series' main themes -- the rejection of organized religion and in particular the abuse of power within the Catholic Church -- is to be watered down," according to the Telegraph, a newspaper in the U.K. "But when the film is released in December the Magisterium will be shown as a critique of all dogmatic organizations, thereby avoiding a religious backlash."

Therefore, without yet seeing the film, OneMillionMoms.com and OneMillionDads.com is alerting Christians to the potential dangers of The Golden Compass. Because of Pullman's clearly articulated anti-Christian motives, we are warning all movie-goers to avoid the film."


Another article I found was taken straight from Wikipedia I'd also like to share a portion of it with you. You can click on the link to read more about it.




[edit] Controversies
Several key themes of the novels, the rejection of organized religion and the abuse of power in a fictionalized Catholic Church, are to be diluted in the adaptation. Director Weitz said "in the books the Magisterium is a version of the Catholic Church gone wildly astray from its roots" but that the organization portrayed in his film would not directly match that of Pullman's books. In an attempt to avoid a religious backlash, the Magisterium will instead be a critique of all dogmatic organizations.[30] Weitz said that New Line Cinema had feared the story's anti-religious themes would make the film financially unviable in the US, and so religion and God will not be referenced directly. Attempting to reassure fans of the novels, Weitz said that religion would instead appear in euphemistic terms, yet the decision has been attacked by some fans,[31] anti-censorship groups, and the National Secular Society (of which Pullman is an honorary associate), which said " they are taking the heart out of it, losing the point of it, castrating it",[32] "this is part of a long-term problem over freedom of speech." The changes from the novel have been present since Tom Stoppard's rejected version of the script,[23] and Pullman himself believes the film will be "faithful."[30]

As part of a two-month protest campaign, the Catholic League has called for a boycott of the film. They believe that while the religious elements of the film will be "watered down" from the source novels, it will still encourage children to read the series, which League president William A. Donohue says "denigrates Christianity" and promotes "atheism for kids",[4][33] citing author Pullman as saying that he is "trying to undermine the basis of Christian belief."[34] It is the League's hope that "the film [will fail] to meet box office expectations and that [Pullman's] books attract few buyers."[35]

Director Weitz says that he believes His Dark Materials is "not an atheistic work, but a highly spiritual and reverent piece of writing",[31] and Nicole Kidman, a Catholic, has defended her decision to star in the film, saying that "the Catholic Church is part of my essence. I wouldn't be able to do this film if I thought it were at all anti-Catholic".[24]

Some commentators have indicated they believe both sides' criticism will prove ultimately "impotent" and that the negative publicity will prove a boon for the film's box office,[36][37] while other evangelical groups, such as The Christian Film and Television Commission, are adopting a "wait-and-see" approach to the film before deciding upon any action



I know that some people will be defensive and argue that it's "okay" to watch this movie. Some will say about the books... "Well, if it encourages them to read..... " HHEEELLLOOOOOO... What does GOD'S WORD tell us about such things??


1 Thessalonians 5:22 (New International Version)
22Avoid every kind of evil.

Besides... what's wrong with then reading Christian Literature??? Okay.. I'll get off my soapbox. I just get SO IRRITATED with people who are just "bent" on bringing down Christianity. You know.. that in itself should be enough to PROVE that everything we believe about JESUS REALLY HAPPENED. I mean, this has been the MOST persecuted religion since... well, since the beginning! People don't seem to be as offended with other beliefs. I don't get it.. I really don't. Christianity is about LOVE. It's about FORGIVENESS. It's about HOPE. It's a LOVE STORY that NEVER, EVER ENDS! Oh, I'm supposed to be getting OFF that box now wasn't I?

Alrighty, My Friends, I guess I'm going to sign off for a bit. Oh, I'm sure you noticed that I did finally add the slide show? I took the boys outside a week or so ago and snapped some pictures. (I've been wanting some updated ones... their looks change so quickly) As you can see I have to make about 100 silly ones to get 10 good ones. We were pleased with the end results.


Have a BLESSED WEEKEND!
Love,
Tonya




Have You Done What You Know to Do?
11/1/2007

"Therefore, to him who knows to do good
and does not do it, to him it is sin."
JAMES 4:17

"It is never a minor thing to know God's will and not do it. God calls this sin. We can make excuses for our lack of obedience: ""I'm just not ready yet"" or ""I'll do it later!"" or ""I don't think it will make a difference"" or ""I can't afford to!"" We rationalize, we procrastinate; yet, in God's eyes, rationalization and procrastination are nothing more than disobedience. At times we deceive ourselves into thinking that good intentions equal obedient actions. They do not. A good intention without corresponding activity is disobedience. When we encounter God and He gives us a direction, it is not enough to write down the date in our spiritual journal, or even to tell our friends and church of our ""decision."" God's call is not to ""make a decision"" but to obey! Deciding to obey is not equal to obeying! (Matt. 21:28-31). Loudly affirming the necessity of obedience is not the same as obeying (Luke 6:46). Making commitments, even publicly, is not the same as obeying our Lord. Substituting our own good works is not the same as obeying.

God told King Saul to wait until the prophet Samuel arrived. Instead of waiting, Saul took matters into his own hands and offered a sacrifice. Saul discovered, to his deep dismay, that other acts of supposed piety do not take the place of obeying a clear command from God (1 Sam. 15:22). As with Saul, God expects you to obey everything exactly as He tells you. Only obedience satisfies God's desire for obedience!"






You can learn more about Dr. Blackaby, his writings, and his ministry at www.blackaby.org, or write:

Blackaby Ministries International
P.O. Box 16338
Atlanta, GA 30321





Wednesday, October 31, 2007 10:57 AM CDT


Hello Friends...

I'm still trying to get in the routine of updating more often. There is so much I want to share and am planning on coming back soon and doing lots of rambling. I also still have more pictures to share. For now, there's something really exciting I wanted to share as a prayer request but first I need to answer some questions. I noticed that a few of you asked what "pond seining" is. I apologize for not having explained that. Sometimes I assume that just because I speak fluent REDneck everyone else does! (HAAHAHA! Just kidding) So.. let me try to explain... First, I'll share what I found in the dictionary..... then I'll tell you how WE did it.

Main Entry: 2seine
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): seined ; sein·ing
intransitive senses
: to fish with or catch fish with a seine
transitive senses : to fish for or in with a seine


Okay.. so my sister's husband's parents have a REALLY LARGE POND behind their home. They were told that for proper balance, you should "sein" the pond every few years. What you do is drain a lot of the water, then you WALK this really large net from one side of the pond to the other. It takes SEVERAL MEN to do this. It was a VERY COOL morning and the water was COLD! Yet, our men-folk and children went right in! We've got so many FUNNY pictures and I just can't wait to share them! (The ladies of the group pretty much watched and rooted them on from a distance - HA!! How's THAT for standing by your man???)
I will try to get those pictures from my sister and post them soon. She's given me TWO CD's and I've not been able to use either. Keep checking back... I PROMISE, if nothing else you'll get a good chuckle out of them!

Now, as for the good news.. I'd have told you sooner but I didn't have permission to share and didn't want to ask for it. It seems that most everyone around her knows now anyway, so I asked and permission was granted! I'm sure you've heard of us talk about "Aunt Bibby?" She's Link's younger sister. Her "real name" is Elizabeth. I think the girls started calling her Aunt Bibby a long time ago and it stuck. ANYWAY.... she and her husband Jason are adopting a baby! They are in the final stages of approval (or whatever the proper terminology is). We are TERRIBLY EXCITED for them and I'd like to ask you to pray that this final stretch of the process will go by VERY QUICKLY and that GOD will send them their baby (or babies - should it be twins). Yes, I'm JUMPING FOR JOY over the idea of having a NEW BABY in the family! (I keep saying, "babies" because I told Elizabeth if she got twins that I'd swap with her every other night... kinda, "One for YOU, one for ME" thing.) I would just LOVE to have/or adopt another baby but as I told you before Link's not so much sold on the idea. Oh well.. GOD'S WILL and HIS timing.. RIGHT??? As for the new baby/babies... we CANNOT WAIT to get them here! Believe me, you will be among the FIRST to know when we get the good news!

There is always so much more to share but I'm really pressed for time today. We've got to finish up school and then there's our Bible study tonight. Oh.... I did want to tell you that I've finally made the "leap" and started a blog. I do feel that I have more freedom to talk about pretty much ANYTHING on a different site. Brent thought so much of this one, and of those of you who were always out there encouraging us. I really want to keep this one about him and our family. So.. if you're bored out of your mind (he he) and want to visit me there you can find me at nason5.blogspot.com. The name of the blog is "Safe In His Arms." I've posted about 4 times... just playing around until I felt a little more "comfortable" there. As always... it's my heart's desire to bring HONOR AND GLORY to our LORD & SAVIOR, JESUS CHRIST.

You may also visit one of my best friends, Susan on hers. As you probably already know... Susan is Jordan's mom. Her blog address is susan2956.blogspot.com. The name of her blog is "Forever His." This lady will challenge you in your walk for SURE!

One other friend that is blogging (a lady who also lost her son to cancer) is the Amazing Jacob's mom Heather. You can find her at faithfulfroggers.blogspot.com Heather's blog name is the same as the site address. "Faithful Froggers"

Thanks SO MUCH for visiting with us and for sharing your time! I hope to be back in just a bit to post pictures of the boys that I made the other day. Have a BLESSED Wednesday! (And every other day)


We love you,
Tonya - for Link, Zach & Gabe - always LOVING, MISSING AND REMEMBERING BRENT!





Wednesday, October 31, 2007
A Defeated Enemy
Having disarmed principalities and powers, He made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them in it. (Colossians 2:15)
Christians are not called to defeat Satan. God has already done that in Christ! Nor is it our mandate to “bind” Satan. Jesus has already set limits on the extent and duration of Satan’s freedom. Satan, “our ancient foe,” was decisively and completely defeated by Christ’s sacrifice on the cross and in His resurrection. With regard to Satan, our assignment is to trust in the victory that Christ already achieved and daily resist him with the truth of his defeat, as Jesus did.

Satan is the father of lies and a master deceiver_(John 8:44). If he can convince you that God has not defeated him, then you will not experience Jesus’ victory. You will find yourself fighting battles that Christ has already won! You will fear Satan though he has already been utterly and humiliatingly defeated. Your responsibility is to resist Satan, and he will flee from you (James 4:7). When you resist him, you are acknowledging that Jesus_has defeated him and given you victory over his influence. God has provided you with spiritual armor that is_more than sufficient to withstand any assault by Satan (Eph. 6:10–20).

Christians can become preoccupied with battling Satan. This deceives them to invest their time and energy attempting to do something that Christ has already done for them. If Satan can divert you to wage a warfare that has already ended in surrender, he will have eliminated your effectiveness where God wants you. Fearing Satan is fearing a prisoner of war. You have no need or calling to defeat Satan, you need only to apply Christ’s victory in every area of your life and to live the victorious Christian life. As you go about sharing the gospel message with others, Satan and his forces face the reality of their defeat in each life that is claimed by the kingdom of God (Luke 10:17–20).

Sunday, October 21, 2007 3:38 PM CT

Hello Friends...

I thought I'd check in quickly to tell you about the new "slide." I know that I said I'd have pictures up from the pond seining but the CD that I got from sister wouldn't work so I still don't have the pictures. I thought I'd go ahead and share a few pictures from the past week. The first on the slide are from the scrimmage between two of our flag football teams. One of course is Zach's team. (The red team) These were made the day/night that we took four of his buddies out for pizza and had a sleep over. The next pictures are of a little "hideout" that the boys made on our front porch. Finally, the last on the slide are from last night. If you read the last update you probably noticed that I purposefully avoided saying that we'd been rolling yards. Let me ASSURE you all that we NEVER, EVER roll anyone's yard that would be mad about it. As I've said before, we're "hillbillies" and have all sorts of weird ways to "show love" to each other. It's just good CLEAN redneck FUN! As you can see... we started the fun this year and payback was DUE! HA!!!

Alrighty... I'll share more later and hope to have the next round of pictures up soon. Thanks SO MUCH for checking in!


We love you,
Tonya




Bringing People to Jesus
10/21/2007

He first found his own brother Simon, and said to him, "We have found the Messiah" (which is translated, the Christ).
JOHN 1:41

"People become known for many things. Noah is known as a righteous man in an evil age. David is known as the man after God's own heart. Peter is known as the outspoken disciple. John is known as the disciple whom Jesus loved. Judas is known as the betrayer. Paul is known as a fearless proclaimer of the gospel. Andrew is known for bringing others to Jesus.

The first person Andrew brought to Jesus was his brother Peter. As soon as Peter joined the disciples, he became the spokesperson for the Twelve, while Andrew remained in the background. It was Peter, not Andrew, who rose to prominence as one of Jesus' inner circle of three. We do not read of Andrew resenting Peter; it seems he was satisfied to bring others to Jesus and leave the results to Him.

It is not surprising that Andrew found the boy with the loaves and fishes and brought him to Jesus (John 6:8-9). Andrew brought Greeks to Jesus, even though they were despised by pious Jews (John 12:20-22). There is no record of Andrew ever preaching a sermon, performing a miracle, or writing a book of Scripture. He is remembered for those whom he brought to Jesus.

Andrew is a good role model for us. Our job is not to transform people into Christians nor to convict them of their sin. It is not our responsibility to make people do what they ought to do. Our task is to bring them to Jesus, and He will perform His divine work in their lives."



You can learn more about Dr. Blackaby, his writings, and his ministry at www.blackaby.org, or write:

Blackaby Ministries International
P.O. Box 16338
Atlanta, GA 30321















Thursday, Oct 18, 2007 3:42 PM CT

Hello Friends!

Believe it or not I actually typed another LONG update earlier this week. (Monday, I think) Just as I was about to press the "update" button I got the nasty, dreaded message. For my fellow AOL family you may be familiar with this terrible little pop up... it said, "We're sorry, AOL has encountered a problem and needs to close." NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Oh YES! I LOST EVERYTHING! I know that some of you have suggested that I use one of those "word" programs to type the updates.. well, I'm using Brent's laptop nowadays and it doesn't have it. SOOO I run the risk of losing everything each time I update by email. I think I've learned a lesson though. I'm going to start emailing the update to myself as I go so that if there is a problem I WON'T lose everything! Yes, I know... emailing myself sounds a little silly, but it may help me retain what little sanity I have left! HA!!!!!!!

Now, to fill you in on our weekend. Oh, before I forget I wanted to thank each of you who wished Zach a "happy birthday" on his big day. (Thanks for signing the guestbook, the ecards, cards, and packages too) You guys were so sweet to think of him... THANK YOU!

Okay... so in the last update (the one I lost) I was telling you about our weekend. It was VERY BUSY but also a lot of fun. Zach had a scrimmage game on Friday with his team and so did a few of his friends. We decided to take 4 of them out for pizza then brought them home with us for a sleep over. I would tell you what we did later that night but I might incriminate myself so I won't. (Hehehe) Don't worry... it wasn't anything illegal. (We're rednecks ya know... it's October... you can probably figure it out)

So... early Saturday morning we met up at my Sister's with our friends from church (our little "home church") and had ourselves a good ole fashioned pond seining. We have some really funny pictures from the day but I'll have to wait to get them from my sister. HOPEFULLY I'll have them up in a day or two. One of the pictures was made just after Zach DOVE IN after a HUGE CATFISH... it was A 10 POUNDER!!! It was a HOOT! All of the kids had the best time. They were COVERED with MUD within MINUTES of arriving! Yes, these little people of ours are a MESS! (No pun intended... hehe)

At the end of the day most everyone from our group went to see Casting Crowns in Tupelo. Now, as most of you know this was Brent's FAVORITE GROUP of ALL TIME! We were just NOT ready to listen to their music yet. Needless to say we crashed here at home and "sat out" for that one. I doubt Zach & Gabe could've actually stayed AWAKE anyway. (Gabe had slept over with my cousin's little boy so he was WIPED OUT TOO)

Of course, Sunday was Zach's actual birthday so after church we had all of our immediate family over for a birthday party. I didn't get any pictures from it because all of the little people were running all over the place. Needless to say, Zach had a GREAT birthday! It really worked out well for him because we ended up "partying" all weekend.

As I've mentioned in the past couple of updates Brent's birthday has been quickly approaching. I suggested in the update below that anyone who wanted could make donations to Vermont Children's Hospital in Memory of Brent. I forgot that when I was working on the "link" to their site that the first page wouldn't work so I ended up having to go through another. If you click on the link you'll first be taken to the site that tells a little about Penelope & Sam and how the fund started. Then somewhere towards the bottom of that page you'll see the "Penelope & Sam Fund" link that will take you to the page that will THEN take you where donations can be made. It sounds a lot more complicated than it really is. If anyone would like to make a donation and would prefer to send it the old fashioned way (US mail) you can mail it to....

Vermont Children's Hospital -FAHC
Giselle Sholler, MD
Smith 559
111 Colchester Ave
Burlington VT 05401

Again, ANY donations made to this account will go to Neuroblastoma research. As much as we LOVE St. Jude... our heart is with finding a CURE for this TERRIBLE disease! Yes, St. Jude is also looking for a cure... but they LITERALLY have people from AROUND THE WORLD supporting them. The WONDERFUL folks from Vermont gladly took us in when everyone else was ready to give up. (Again, I'm NOT knocking St. Jude.. just saying that we felt as though they gave Brent another chance at LIFE!) I honestly can't say enough good about this hospital. As I mentioned below... you can join us in celebrating Brent's life just by showing GOD'S LOVE to those around you. Our PRECIOUS little man LOVED to BLESS others! If you've got the time look back through our "journal history" and see if there are any pictures from Brent's "Make-A-Wish" shopping trip. He bought THREE of almost EVERYTHING so that his brother's would have the same toys! He couldn't go to town without wanting to buy something for someone. I can't even count the times that he wanted to make cookies or bread or some sort of treat to take to his doctors and nurses. Yes, our Sweet Brent was FILLED with LOVE for PEOPLE and he LOVED to make them HAPPY! Kindness is FREE! That's something we can do daily - even if it's just a smile as you pass someone who's not looking so happy! (Yeah, some people will look at you like you're crazy.. but I've learned that smiles really ARE contagious!)

HHHMMMMM... I know there was probably so much more that I wanted to share but was lost in the other update. Lucky for YOU I don't remember. HA!!!

I did want to leave you today with prayer requests for two very special little ladies. Both are newborns and have been in a LITERAL BATTLE for their LIVES! The first is Hutton Johnson. I'm sure you remember our friends Jill & Cooper? They flew down to join us last year for "Brent Nason Day" here in Mathiston. Well, David & Jill have been told from the beginning that Hutton wouldn't make it. GOD has CONTINOUSLY shown HIMSELF through this little gal! You will fall in love with this family IMMEDIATELY! If you've got a moment drop in and leave them a kind word... you could never know unless you've "been there" how much those words can mean!

The second little princess is Emmy Hollowell She's a cousin to our beloved Nurse Joni. I don't know this family personally but if you've been with us any length of time you KNOW how CRAZY Brent was about Joni! Little Emmy was born somewhere around 2 months EARLY! She's ADORABLE too! Again, if you've got a minute drop in and leave them an encouraging word.

Finally, and on a different note... Susan Amato, one of my VERY BESTEST friends (that's my BEST first grade lingo) has started blogging! (Susan is Jordan's Mom) I can't tell you how much I've gleaned from this lady. She's been a spiritual GIANT to me as well as a GREAT source of COMFORT during the past two years. You too will be blessed beyond words by getting to know her. You can find her by going to susan2956.blogspot.com You WILL BE BLESSED!

I want to end today by sharing something that an online friend shared in the guestbook. Her name is also Susan and I hope she doesn't mind my sharing this with you. See, Susan and her son drove down from MO just days before Brent passed away. I had forgotten most of what was said for obvious reasons... but as soon as I read this it all started to come back to me. During Brent's last days here on earth he had MANY talks with his LORD. He just couldn't help but to PRAISE GOD with almost every breath. (You KNOW I've just GOT to share a scripture here with you don't you?)


Luke 19:40 NIV
"I tell you," HE replied, "if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out."



Yes, I think if Brent HAD kept quiet the walls around him would've SCREAMED of GOD'S glory! I'll move on to what Susan shared in just a minute... I just can't get past this without telling you that many times Brent would say, "LORD, Your Word doesn't even TELL how BEAUTIFUL YOU ARE!" It STILL brings chills all over me to think of him actually IN CONVERSATION with the LORD and hearing him say that!

Now, I want to copy and paste here what our friend Susan said about Brent and how he changed her life!

"Brent has been on my mind so much lately. I only met him once right after Christmas but he made such an impact on me and my son. The presence in the room was so strong! He taught me to be thankful for what the Lord has given me and whenever problems start to make me feel like whining I remember what he said while we were there, "I wanna thank You Lord for everything you have given me." Those were the most powerful words I have ever heard given his condition at the time. If he could be thankful for what he was given in that condition then I have no reason to ever belly ache over silly stuff in my life. Thanks again for allowing me to meet him and for sharing his story with all of us out here. I hope others who come here have been just as amazed by your beautiful sweet boy as we were."


Susan Foster met Brent only once... yet hearing Brent PRAISE GOD for all HE'D given him - even when he was so weak he couldn't raise his own arms off the bed... well, that kind of stuff is just LIFE CHANGING! Thank You SO MUCH, Susan, for sharing this precious moment with us!! I do hope that you didn't mind my sharing your story. I thought this was an AWESOME way to celebrate Brent and the MANY ways God used him to bless us!


Okay friends... I've kept you long enough. Thank you SOOO MUCH for your friendship, your words of encouragement, your love and your PRAYERS! You will NEVER KNOW how GOD has used YOU to bless us!


We love you,
Tonya - for Link, Zach & Gabe


Oh MY! I've JUST read the devotion that I was about to share with you. Guys, I'm SOBBING! If you've got an extra minute to stay PLEASE read this!






Seeing with Your Eyes
10/18/2007

"I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear,
But now my eye sees You."
JOB 42:5

"In his time, Job was the most righteous person on earth. He was so godly that the Lord took pleasure in pointing him out to Satan (job 1:8). Yet, despite his love for God and his diligent obedience to His commands, even Job had not fully come to know God. The blessings God had given to Job had not revealed everything about God's character. There were characteristics that Job would come to realize only through adversity. So the Lord allowed Satan to test Job through suffering.

Although Job lost everything he had, even his seven children, Job discovered that God was still with him. Though he faced the most difficult and bewildering tribulations imaginable, Job came to understand that God was infinitely wiser than he (job 42:1-4). As Job endured the insensitivity of his friends, he learned that God is the only One who is absolutely trustworthy. Job learned much about God through his anguish. Finally, he confessed that at first he had only heard about God, but now, through his suffering, he had come to see God (job 42:5).

When you are in the midst of your trials, your Lord will reveal His character to you in ways you never knew. You will experience His strong and comforting presence. Like Job, you will learn that your Lord will remain, even when everyone else abandons you. You will see God more clearly as He takes you through the dark times. Then you will experience God in ways you had previously only heard about from others."



You can learn more about Dr. Blackaby, his writings, and his ministry at www.blackaby.org, or write:

Blackaby Ministries International
P.O. Box 16338
Atlanta, GA 30321
















Friday, October 12 - 5:46 AM


I'm back with the code... For those of you who missed the new update it's just below. In the update I suggested something we could do together to "celebrate" Brent's birthday. It's explained in detail below. If you'd like to make a donation to Vermont Children's Hospital, for Neuroblastoma Research you can click on "The Penelope & Sam Fund" graphic above. On the site you will see (in small print) that there's a place to email a lady if you're doing the donation "in memory of." So, if anyone does want to donate - don't forget to follow those directions. Oh, the site also has a place to fill out WHERE the money is specified to go. It MUST go to the "Penelope & Sam" fund in order to help Neuroblastoma research! As most of you know, Vermont was our last hope of an "earthly healing" for Brent. (Outside of GOD working a miracle of course!) They gladly accepted us and were some of the MOST AMAZING people to work with!


Okay, I'll sign off now... I hope you all have an awesome weekend!

Love,
Tonya





Thursday, October 11, 2007 9:29 PM CDT

Happy Belated Birthday to Addison!! She turned 12 on - October 4


HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO.....

Jordan Amato - he turns 22 on October 12

Our sweet Zach turns 10 on - October 14

Alexis Hebb (will be 16) and Michael Hebb (will be 11) they are also on - October 14 (They are daughter and son of our online friend/sister Kate Hebb)

Dana Huffman & Meredith Woodard - October 14 (You've heard me speak of these gals FOREVER!) They are just precious to our family! As you may already know, they are twins!

Of course our sweet Brent's birthday will be October 28 - he would've been 12 years old

Hello Friends!

LOOOONNNNGGGGG time no talk, eh? Perhaps I should start saying that I'll "see you next month" instead of telling you how I'd like to update more often. Maybe THEN I'd actually get it accomplished? Hehe... I do apologize for the LONG time in-between updates. I've missed "talking" to you and have thought of YOU (my internet family) many times every day. I've just not sat still long enough to update. Oh well, maybe ONE day I'll do better!

Now, to fill you in on what we've been doing. The boys are still playing flag football with our home-school league. They've had the best time! I keep intending to carry my camera over and get some pics of all those little guys but I keep forgetting. I think sometimes my brain is actually SHRINKING! I can't seem to remember anything!

I would like to wish a few people a "Happy Birthday" before I ramble too much. I'll start with Addison. She turned 12 on October 4. (Yes, this is a belated wish) Addison is Link's sister, Virginia's daughter. Addison has ALWAYS looked like Brent's twin! It'll be bittersweet watching her grow and celebrate each new year. Addison and Brent were only 24 days apart. I do hate that I've missed wishing her a happy birthday from here... this has just been a really hard month for me.

Next, of course will be Zach's birthday. He will be 10 on the 14th. It's been so hard trying to even think about these birthdays when I'm so painfully aware that Brent's is coming up. We've celebrated Brent's and Zach's birthday TOGETHER since the very beginning. I never could stand to give one child a gift and not the other so Brent was the only child who ever got to have his OWN party... and that was ONLY until Zach turned ONE! From then on they were TOGETHER!! This will be the first birthday party I've ever planned for Zach without also planning for Brent. UUGGGHHH! It really stinks! I'm praying so hard for the grace to get through this month, and the next, and the next, and the NEXT! I'm thinking if I can keep my sanity till the middle of January things will FINALLY start to smooth out. It's so hard to believe that it's almost been a year now. It was 9 months on the 2nd of this month. I don't know how I managed to figure this out... but I just realized a few minutes ago that Brent was conceived in January 95, born in October 95, then was born into Heaven in January 07. I thought that was pretty neat - but it made me cry a little. I'm SO PROUD of the boy that Brent was! I can only imagine the "little man" that he is now!

I've been racking my brain trying to think of some POSITIVE way to celebrate Brent's birthday. After considering all the AMAZING people who've blessed us, and trying to think the way that Brent would've, I think we finally have a plan. As you all know... St. Jude was Brent's FAVORITE place on earth! However, the support for St. Jude is OVERWHELMING! There is ALWAYS someone (some retailer or group of individuals) handing out toys or blankets or something to the children there. With that said, we're asking for anyone who would like to, to send a gift to Vermont Children's Hospital. We know that smaller hospitals don't have the support of those known world wide and we can't think of one we'd rather honor on Brent's birthday. I know that Gabe made MANY trips down to the "gift closet" while we were there. Yes, the WHOLE MEDICAL TEAM in Vermont was AMAZING!!

Now, please don't think I'm asking you to do something you don't want to do. If you're not interested in sending a gift or making a monetary donation you can still join us in CELEBRATING Brent's life! Brent was ALL ABOUT doing things to make people happy!!! That's something we can do for FREE and it's something we should do at least once EVERY day! You know, it doesn't take much to be a blessing to someone. We can hold the door open for the next person as we're entering or leaving a building. We might go and visit someone who's lonely or shut in. ANYTHING that you know that would bless someone! Now, we're doing this in celebrating Brent... but let's do it in the MIGHTY NAME OF JESUS because if it weren't for HIS LOVE - we'd not know how to love at all.

For those of you who might like to support Vermont Children's Hospital now or in the future you can find them online by clicking a link that I hope to have posted soon. Whatever you decide to do (if you do anything) please remember to hold your loved ones a little tighter.. kiss and hug your babies A LOT more often.. slow down and REALLY LISTEN to the endless chatter of your children. TELL THEM YOU LOVE THEM OFTEN!! I pray that you NEVER, EVER have to walk in our shoes.. but if you do.. those are the things you'll miss MOST!

There is SO MUCH MORE I want to share with you. Unfortunately I've used SO MUCH of your time already. I will update ASAP with the link to Vermont Children's Cancer Center. It's under the Penelope & Sam Fund for Neuroblastoma Research, (Yes, I REALLY do plan to update QUICKLY with this info) Now, if you're up for sending a gift you can mail it to....

Vermont Children's Hospital -FAHC
Giselle Sholler, MD
Smith 559
111 Colchester Ave
Burlington VT 05401

Thank You SOOO MUCH for your time, prayers and support!! You will never know how much you mean to us!

We love you,
Tonya - for Link, Zach & Gabe





Spiritual Preparation
10/11/2007

And while they went to buy, the bridegroom came, and those who were ready went in with him to the wedding; and the door was shut.
MATTHEW 25:10


"There is no substitute for spiritual preparation. Spiritual preparation equips you for unforeseen crises or opportunities. However, if you are unprepared you will be vulnerable in life's unexpected events.

Jesus told a parable that teaches this truth. Ten virgins were awaiting the arrival of the bridegroom so that they could celebrate with him and his bride. Five of them prepared in advance and brought an adequate supply of oil for their lamps. The other five were not prepared, so they rushed out to buy additional lamp oil. While they were gone, the bridegroom arrived. The five who had planned ahead entered into the house with him, but the door was closed against the five who were not ready, and they missed the celebration.

If you are spiritually prepared when a crisis comes, you will not have to try to develop instantly the quality of relationship with Christ that can sustain you. If you suddenly have an opportunity to share your faith with an unbeliever, you will be equipped to do so. If you enter a time of worship spiritually prepared, you will not miss an encounter with God. If you are spiritually filled when you meet a person in sorrow, you will have much to offer. If you have established safeguards in your life in advance, you will not give in to temptation.

Christians lose many opportunities to experience God's activity because they have not devoted enough time to their relationship with God. If you have not yet developed the habit of daily prayer and Bible study, why not begin now, so that you will be equipped for whatever life brings?"




You can learn more about Dr. Blackaby, his writings, and his ministry at www.blackaby.org, or write:

Blackaby Ministries International
P.O. Box 16338
Atlanta, GA 30321

Thursday, October 11, 2007 8:07 PM CDT

Okay... I'm working on an update and was trying to see if a code that I'm trying to make was going work and now I can't get it off! UGH!! If you're seeing the code just ignore it.. hopefully I'll have the new update up soon. Maybe, just maybe the code I'm working on will work too! HA!!!



Monday, September 24, 2007 12:23 AM CDT
Hello Friends!

I know that I say it weekly, but it's so hard to believe that a week has passed between each of these updates. Time is FLYING like CRAZY these days! Yes, that's a very VERY GOOD THING! (I just made a typo and typed "GOD thing" kinda appropriate don't ya think?) I suppose part of the update would be to tell you what's keeping us so busy???

Okay.. so the boys are BOTH playing flag football with our home-school group. I had NO IDEA there were so many families choosing to educate their children this way in our area. I'm going to take some pictures soon of one of their practices and share them with you. It's AWESOME! They practice on Monday and Thursday in Starkville. (That's about a 30 min drive from home) Then of course we're meeting with friends for "church" on Wednesday nights. Basically, we're RUNNING about HALF of the week. (I know... Who isn't, RIGHT?)

That leads to another thing I've been wanting to "fess up" about. I felt led to start an online Bible study that lasted through all of about 11 chapters in the book of John. I want to apologize for the inconsistency. I had the BEST intentions but honestly, I bit off more than I could chew. We usually start each morning with prayer and Bible study, then it's on to school, stopping for lunch, school again then we're off to clean the house and tend to other chores. We have just a LITTLE free time then we're doing ball stuff two nights out of the week, so we have to get dressed and leave to do that. It seems like it's ALWAYS SOMETHING. I don't mean to complain because I'm VERY THANKFUL that we've got so much to keep us busy. It SURE does help with the grieving. That's NOT to say that we miss Brent any less... OF COURSE WE DON'T!!! It just seems that on those days that we have little to do - we have A LOT more time to THINK! Missing Brent is natural - but thinking too much can open doors that lead to regret and bashing ourselves for things we could've/should've/might've/WOULD'VE done differently. Okay... I'm sure you get my point. I guess I shared all of that to explain and to again apologize for leaving those of you who were doing this study with me... "hanging." I felt honored that GOD allowed those who sought HIM to do so though me. I felt as though I failed HIM AND YOU! With that said, I'm seeking HIS will in how and what HE'D have me do about it. We're doing TWO different studies with our small group. I've debated on sharing one or both of those with you instead of trying to add the book of John to the ones I'm already doing in my own quiet time.


I've also been reading a book that a friend of mine gave me. It was so funny... she said, "I'm NOT trying to tell you anything by giving you this book... it's just a really good book!" Oh how I WISH I could share it with ALL of my "Sisters" EVERYWHERE! It's one of those that's a little "painful" to read (because it's so convicting) but it's COMPLETELY BASED on THE WORD! It's called "Created To Be His Help Meet" by Debi Pearl. You can order it online (from their site) nogreaterjoy.org They also have books on child rearing and other books on marriage. Oh.. I forgot to tell you that didn't I? The book I'm all excited about is one on GOD'S way to a "glorious" marriage. It's only $12! They also have one called "To Train UP A Child." Again, EVERYTHING I've read so far has been ONE HUNDRED PERCENT based on SCRIPTURE! I'll share a portion of what I've read in the next update... the one from today is going to be lengthy enough without anything "extra." SERIOUSLY, if you're a reader and you're seeking GOD'S WILL for you in your marriage (even if it's a bad marriage) you will LOVE this book! Just remember to pray and have an open mind/heart when you read it. It may be a little painful (my toes are still hurting - from being "stepped on") but it's GREAT to have someone help direct you in God's will. There's a passage from the Bible that's VERY FITTING here....


Titus 2:3-5 (New Living Translation)

3 Similarly, teach the older women to live in a way that honors God. They must not slander others or be heavy drinkers.[a] Instead, they should teach others what is good. 4 These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, 5 to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes,[b] to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God.

Did you see that?? We might be bringing SHAME on the WORD of GOD by how we live as Christian women!! Now, THAT'S SCARY!!!!!!!

Anyway... This whole book is about "older woman" teaching the younger how GOD expects us to conduct ourselves and how we should tend to our home. Okay... I'll get off my soapbox... I tend to ramble when I get excited about something!

I suppose now would be a good time for me to wrap this up?? Oh, wait... In mentioning the Bible study above I forgot to mention something else that's been on my mind. My friend Susan (Jordan's Mom) is thinking about starting a blog. (Before I say anymore... Please remember Jordan as he has scans next month at St. Jude) Jacob Duckworth's mom also has one. I won't try to speak for Heather (Jacob's Mom) but I think we might be thinking along the same lines. I want to honor Brent by keeping up his site. At least for a while... but I sometimes feel limited by what I say here. I wonder if someone is being critical of what I say, or don't say. I know for the most part we've had the MOST AMAZING PRAYER WARRIORS EVER! However, I've had at least TWO VERY NEGATIVE, very HURTFUL responses in the past. Now, out of all the "hits" this site has received... I suppose that two bad eggs shouldn't knock me down. I just don't want anyone to EVER doubt that we're missing Brent like crazy, even when I don't say so. There is only so much I can come here and say without repeating myself over and over. That's why I've entertained the idea of also doing a separate blog for our family. I would NEVER, EVER, EVER purposefully dishonor my precious boy. I need you to understand that I'm different than some parents in the way I update since losing Brent. Many share memories and even pictures of their "heavenly healed" children. That's A WONDERFUL thing to do. However, It's VERY PAINFUL for me to look through old pictures and to relive some of those memories. Right now.. we're just focusing on the healing of our hearts. Yes, we talk about Brent amongst ourselves and we DO MISS HIM with ALL of our hearts. I guess I'm just asking you to pray that I can make the right decision. I feel like you guys are my family and I don't want to cut the ties with you. I suppose I'm wondering if I had something separate I wouldn't feel as guilty about sharing things God has shown me or anything else I choose to ramble about without taking away from Brent. Am I making any sense?

Well, if I don't end this update here this very well may be one the LONGEST updates in the history of "blogging." Thanks SO MUCH for caring... and ESPECIALLY for your prayers!

I'll share a quick prayer request with you on my way out.. Next month holds Brent's and Zach's birthday. We want Zach to feel extra special on his day (October 14) but the idea of the whole birthday thing kinda makes me... well, sick. I CANNOT imagine October 28 rolling around and not having our PRECIOUS Brent here to celebrate. I personally don't want to ignore his birthday, but I don't know how to handle it either. It's probably going to be a very hard day. Please pray for extra strength as we will attempt to face birthdays along with holidays without our little man.


We love you all so much....
Tonya

Friday, September 14, 2007 9:55 AM CDT

Hello Friends...

I apologize for not checking in yesterday, about the time we came in and unloaded Walmart stuff the heavy rain set in. For those of you who don't know... we live in the COUNTRY! HA!!! Seriously though... any heavy rain knocks out our satellite AND computers! Okay... since I'm "joking around" I'm sure you've guessed by now that our news yesterday was GREAT! Not only does my mom NOT have cancer, she doesn't need hip replacement either! for the show of HIS MIGHTY HAND! The doc told her that she has Transient Osteoporosis of the Hip! (Believe it or not.. this is GREAT NEWS! Then again... almost ANYTHING is great compared to cancer, RIGHT?) I'll copy and paste some info here so you'll know what it is.



Who's at risk?

Women in the late stages of pregnancy (after the sixth month)

Middle-aged men (between 40 and 70 years old)



Signs and symptoms

Sudden onset of pain, typically in the front of the thigh, the side of the hip, the buttocks or the groin.

No previous accident or injury to the joint that would trigger pain.

Limited motion; pain intensifies with turning movements.

Pain intensifies with weight bearing and may lessen with rest.

Pain gradually increases over a period of weeks or month and may be so intense that it is disabling.

A change in gait as the patient tries to protect the joint and ease the pain.



Diagnosis

A diagnosis of transient osteoporosis of the hip is usually made by eliminating other possible causes of hip pain, such as a muscle injury or stress fracture. Your doctor will ask you whether you can remember any injury to the joint. You may also be asked to do certain range-of-motion tests to replicate the pain. Because X-rays may not show bone loss until the condition is well-advanced, your physician may request an MRI (magnetic resonance image) or bone scan to confirm the diagnosis. If you are pregnant, your physician may elect to delay any imaging studies until the last stages of your pregnancy, or even until after the delivery.

As yet, there is no clear explanation for what causes this condition. Although it is most common in the hip joint, multiple joints may be affected.



Treatment

This condition generally resolves by itself over 6 to 12 months. Treatment focuses on preventing any damage while bones are weakened by osteoporosis. If you are pregnant, this condition increases your risk of a hip fracture.

Your physician may prescribe a mild pain reliever.

Using crutches, a cane, or other walking aids will help relieve the stress of weight bearing on the joint.

To help maintain strength and flexibility in the muscles, your physician may also recommend a series of flexibility and range-of-motion exercises that you can do as the pain subsides. Aquatic exercises may be helpful not only because they ease movement, but also because they relieve weight bearing.


Obviously, my mom doesn't fall under the "typical range" of people who are at risk. However, the MRI and her having ALL of the symptoms made the diagnosis QUICK AND EASY! I say that... the doctor she saw before told her she had SEVERE arthritis AND a bone spur. THIS doc (that she saw yesterday) said she has "mild" arthritis and almost laughed at the idea of a bone spur. It just goes to show that you KNOW something is wrong and you're not feeling so sure about the diagnosis you receive from your doctor... a SECOND opinion is ALWAYS BEST! I'm probably CRAZY to the point that I think EVERYONE should have an MRI if they're got consistent "unexplained" pain. REMEMBER, Brent's back pain could be EASILY explained away by roughhousing. PRAISE GOD for the "mother's intuition" that led me to press for the MRI that IMMEDIATELY revealed a tumor! I'm not saying that everyone should assume the worst, only advising to be cautions! Had we not been (again, ALL GLORY TO GOD) we might not have ever had the TWO years we were blessed to have with Brent!

Okay... I rambled enough in the last update so I won't keep you with this one. I'd like to leave you with the lyrics of a song that's ringing in my ear this morning... we sang at the "Deeper Still" conference in Nashville. It's AWSEOME!

Mighty to Save

Everyone needs compassion
A love that's never failing
Let mercy fall on me
Everyone needs forgiveness
A kindness of a Savior
The hope of nations

My Savior
He can move the mountains
My God is Mighty to save
He is Mighty to save
Forever
Author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave

So take me as You find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything i believe in
Now i surrender

Shine your light and let the whole world see
We're singing for the glory of the risen King...Jesus

Wednesday, September 12, 2007 10:47 PM CDT


Letting go.......

Hello my PRECIOUS FRIENDS! It's been way too long since I've checked in and I have SO MUCH to share! Before I start to explain why I chose to "title" this update I want to share a prayer request with you. My Mom has been having A LOT of trouble with her left hip. She had a bone scan which revealed a bone spur(?) After the pain continued to progress she agreed to an MRI. They called her Monday night to say the results were "abnormal." They went on to say that she may need surgery for hip replacement, or it might even be cancer. Please join us in prayer as we petition GOD once again for ANYTHING other than cancer! I'll be going with my Mom tomorrow to see the surgeon that they've scheduled her to see. I PROMISE to update as SOON as we know something. I'll thank you in advance for lifting Her and our family in prayer.

Now, to explain about "letting go." It may not come as a surprise to you when I say that I've struggled A LOT with God lately. It almost seems to have come in spurts. More so when the boys are having a hard time. I don't know if I'd even realized how much distance I'd allowed between GOD and myself. All of that began to change a week ago on Wednesday night.

We've been meeting with some friends for Bible study. We almost always worship outside. (You'll see WHY I'm telling you this in a moment) Okay... so last Wednesday night we'd been standing around talking. The children of course were horsing around, laughing and playing. As we settled into our seats they started the music. I can't remember what songs they were singing... I think one might have been "Our God is an Awesome God".... and/or others similar to it. I sat there struggling to sing praises - I felt like such a hypocrite. In my mind I started confessing how I felt and began to tell GOD that I NEEDED to SEE HIM!!!!!!!!!! I needed some sort of PROOF I suppose. What I was asking for was to witness a miracle. I NEEDED to see HIM in that way after we prayed for so long for Brent then lost him. (Of course this is while everyone else was singing) Well, the very next song they sang was "As the Deer." Okay... so you are NOT going to believe this............. There was a small commotion - SEVERAL people were pointing to the edge of the woods. There was a DEER standing there! WHOA!!! Talk about getting my miracle! And FAST!! For those of you who aren't deer hunters, or married to one, let me explain the nature of a deer. There pretty much has to be COMPLETE silence... no noise, no movement, NO SMELL! So logically there was NO REASON that deer would've EVER walked out SO CLOSE to us! She stood there through the ENTIRE SONG! AMAZING!!! I want to share the lyrics to this song with you.....

As The Deer

As the deer panteth for the water
So my soul longeth after Thee
You alone are my heart's desire
And I long to worship Thee

(Chorus)
You alone are my strength, my shield
To You alone may my spirit yield
You alone are my heart's desire
And I long to worship Thee

You're my friend and You are my brother
Even though You are a king
I love You more than any other
So much more than anything

Chorus

I want You more than gold or silver
Only You can satisfy
You alone are the real joy giver
And the apple of my eye

Well, that was just the beginning of the hole that would be knocked into my heart this week. GOD KNOCKED my socks off AGAIN over the weekend! I was blessed to attend the "Deeper Still" women's conference in Nashville, TN. Habitat for Hope organized this trip for several mom's who've lost children to cancer. It was WONDERFUL to see so many ladies that we came to love either through St. Jude, or Caringbridge. Some of the ladies we've known since the beginning of our journey others I met for the first time last weekend.

The trip was just AMAZING!!!!! We sat in our rooms on Friday night talking. Some of us shared how hard it was to begin worshiping GOD again after the loss of our children. (I can't say it was that way for everyone... but there were a few that did and I was among them) It wasn't that way at first... and I didn't mean for it to happen... but somehow, some way I started moving away from GOD.

When we got together on Saturday and went to the conference, Beth Moore spoke on letting go. I can't say that SHE named it that.... but it's what it meant to me! She told us that many ladies had shared via the Deeper Still Blog some of the many trials each had experienced. Would you believe that she told about a woman with 3 sons who'd lost one of them to cancer this year? She also spoke of a woman who'd lost her daughter to a brain tumor. She could've been speaking about any one of us! The bulk of what I carried away from that day was that even though it's COMPLETELY NORMAL AND HEALTHY to grieve... it's NOT EVER good to distance ourselves from GOD. She talked of how it's so hard to move forward when GOD does things that just doesn't make sense to us. How could it be that we've prayed and stood on HIS WORD and HE still chose not to heal our loved ones? She shared that some will carry the attitude of not feeling like they could trust GOD anymore. It's like we're letting the enemy win. Oh how I WISH I could remember word for word everything she said! God was ALL OVER IT!!!! (I might be able to remember more if I hadn't cried through the whole thing... hehe) Needless to say I surrendered my feelings to GOD and apologized to HIM for allowing the wall to come up and to stay around my heart. I felt like Saul (later known as Paul)... when the scales fell from his eyes.

I'm admitting my breakthrough to you because I want to be honest. I PRAY that I never cause anyone to stumble in their own walk as I share my heart and am honest with my feelings. GOD is NOT the author of confusion... HE'S STILL GOOD, LOVING, MERCIFUL AND KIND even when HE doesn't answer our prayers in the way we want.


Daniel 9:18
Give ear, O God, and hear; open your eyes and see the desolation of the city that bears your Name. We do not make requests of you because we are righteous, but because of your great mercy.


GOD actually gave Brent the Ephesians 3:20 kind of healing! "Immeasurably MORE than ALL we could have asked or imagined!" As much as we miss our precious boy... we're the losers...... HE GAINED EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, our GOD is MERCIFUL! HE allowed me to move away from HIM... but HE LOVINGLY placed HIS MIGHTY HAND in front of me and gently said, "My child, that's far enough." PRAISE GOD for HIS ENDURING LOVE for HIS children!

Okay........ that's enough about me. I'll fill you in on Link and the boys and let you go. I know your poor eyes are needing a break! I do apologize for taking so much of your time. My cup's been running over since the conference!


Now, to share about Link & the boys.....

Link continues to amaze me as he allows GOD to heal his heart. He shared with me the other day that he's satisfied that JESUS has already done enough. HE paid the way for our salvation... HE has COMPLETELY HEALED Brent and one day we WILL be together again! NEVER, EVER to be separated again!!

The boys had recently been taking things a little harder than before, but seem to have settled down again. We all miss Brent TERRIBLY... and it just breaks our hearts when the little ones get so upset. I think it's safe to say we're ALL LONGING for Christ's return!!!

Alrighty... I'll really let you go now. THANKS SO MUCH for your prayers and your continued support of our family. You'll never know what you've meant to us!


We love you,
Tonya

Sunday, September 2, 2007 3:48 PM CDT

Hello Friends...

I'm SO SORRY it's been so long since I've last checked in. Things seem to stay in a constant buzz here... which is probably a good thing. We've got the boys back in school and are finally beginning to get into a routine. It's so hard to get back in the swing of things when you've been so unorganized for so long. Not that I'm complaining, I'd GIVE ALMOST ANYTHING to still live moment by moment if it meant having Brent with us. I miss him so much sometimes that I can hardly stand it. Link and I both have our "moments." Of course it's always the little things that set us off... you never really know what it'll be. The boys have had a really hard time recently dealing with everything. They both started crying the other day... I started to wonder if I'd be able to get Gabe to stop. It's hard for them to understand why Brent had to go. It's hard for all of us. We've tried to do our best to console them and all the while reassure them that this was GOD'S will... and HIS WILL IS ALWAYS BEST. It's the best even when it hurts the most. Even still... we can see Brent's spirit live on in each of us. Zach's voice is starting to sound like Brent's while Gabe's looks and actions are so much like him that it's unbelievable. I PRAISE GOD DAILY that HE left us with two precious little boys to love and make us keep going. I suppose it'll always be a day by day thing... sometimes even minute by minute. Even with everything considered... GOD has AMAZED me at how HE'S held us up. ALL GLORY, HONOR AND PRAISE TO HIM for carrying us!

Okay...... I'm gonna try to redirect this update so that I can actually finish it. As you might be noticing... I'm struggling a little bit right now. I miss my baby so much and I'd give just about anything on this planet to have another hug... or hear him call my name... or to get a kiss from him. I understand this is the way it must be.... but I'm having a really hard time with it all right now.

HHMMM... as for some happier thoughts... I've not shared that we recently had another great big sleep-over. Mylissa (one of our dear friends from Memphis) came down and spent the weekend. She brought Bella, Izaiah, and Sam. She even brought Joni with her. We hated that we didn't get to see Mark but we understood that he had things that had to be dealt with. It was so nice to see them all again!! There are so many people that became so precious to us in Memphis. People that we'd LOVE to see, but we just can't seem to make that drive yet.

We're also missing our friends from Vermont. Now, that trip I doubt will EVER happen again. Even still, we think of them often and DEEPLY APPRECIATE EVERYTHING that everyone there did to take such wonderful care of Brent. They also did an AMAZING job of making us feel at home. If any of you are with us... we LOVE AND MISS you ALL! (Same goes for our friends in Memphis)

Oh... a little funny, but maybe not so funny to share with you.... not long after I posted the billy goat story he got away. The boys were a little disappointed, but since this little goat was full grown to begin with they weren't able to "bond" with it. When I told you that goat was stubborn... I meant HE WAS STUBBORN! The boys saw an episode of "Little House on the Prairie" not too long ago and in this episode there was a goat that went around butting into everyone. They were a little afraid that Billy Boy was going to send them flying too! HAHAHAHA!

On another note... I'm sure most of you have already heard the story of the Amazing Jacob? He went to be with Jesus in June (I think) of 06. His sweet family has just adopted a beautiful baby girl from Guatemala. Now little Alli has thrown me into some SERIOUS baby girl fits! I've asked Link a couple of times if he wanted to see about getting a baby girl... well, he's not so much sold on the idea as I am. Hehe... a gal can dream.. right??? So.. if you've got a minute and would like to check out this GORGEOUS baby-girl... check them out at faithfulfroggers.blogspot.com This child will MELT your heart!

Alrighty... I feel like I'm doing a whole bunch of babbling today. My mind isn't very clear this afternoon and I feel as though I'm running in circles. Before I sign off I want to thank everyone for your continued support and PRAYERS! You guys have always been such a great source of encouragement and we can't thank you enough for being here for us!!!

We love you,
Tonya





Working Alone
9/2/2007

So when Moses' father-in-law saw all that he did for the people, he said, "What is this thing that you are doing for the people? Why do you alone sit, and all the people stand before you from morning until evening?"
EXODUS 18:14


"In our zeal to please God and advance His kingdom, we Christians often take on responsibilities that God never intended us to have. One of the great challenges of the Christian life is determining what God does not want us to do! Our intentions are admirable: We love God, we love His people, and we see many needs around us. But sometimes our good intentions cause more harm than good.

Moses was aware of the need for someone to settle disputes among the Israelites. Someone had to help those former slaves learn how to live together as the people of God, so Moses took it upon himself to meet this need. Long lines of unhappy people, hoping to have their cases heard, stood before Moses each day. Moses spent day after day carrying the weight of his nation's problems on his shoulders. Finally his father-in-law, an outsider, witnessed what Moses was doing and challenged the wisdom of his actions. Moses was taking on more than he could handle. He was wearing himself out trying to do what was impossible for one person. In doing this service alone, Moses was robbing others of an opportunity to serve the Lord. He was also doing a disservice to his people, who otherwise could have had their issues resolved much sooner.

When you become aware of a need, do not automatically assume God wants you to meet it. The only reason to perform ministry is that God clearly tells you it is His will. If you are feeling overwhelmed by all that you are doing, you are probably doing more than God has asked. Pray carefully about the assignments you take on, so that you don't rob yourself and others of God's best."


You can learn more about Dr. Blackaby, his writings, and his ministry at www.blackaby.org, or write:

Blackaby Ministries International
P.O. Box 16338
Atlanta, GA 30321

Tuesday, August 14, 2007 6:37 PM CDT

Lessons learned from a GOAT....

Yes, this is a strange way to start an update, but I thought since there's not really anything too interesting to share I'd just go ahead and start here. You see, a friend of the family gave the boys a goat. As always there was lots of thought put into his name. (I'm being sarcastic... just thought I'd tell you since you can't 'hear' it in my voice! Hehehehehehe) Anyone care to guess his name??? Give up??? His name is "Billy Boy." Do you remember those good old cartoons?? The ones that you didn't have to worry about the content, and could actually LEAVE the room when they were on?? Well, there's one in particular that comes on Boomerang (can't remember the name of it) and the boys love it. This cartoon character is kinda known for saying something, then following it by saying, "Billy Boy, Boy, Boy, Boy." (It's to be pronounced with your BEST redneck accent.. HA!) So........ that's his name! Billy Boy. Nice huh??? (Remember, don't consult either the little guys in our home to help you name your children... he he)

Okay... so the lesson learned from Billy Boy is one about stubbornness. I've always heard the phrase, "You stubborn old GOAT," but NEVER knew WHY someone would call someone else that. That is until I tried to "walk" Billy Boy. Well, I wasn't ACTUALLY walking him (as you would a dog) I was TRYING to move him from where he was to a place more shaded. As I pulled him in the direction I wanted to go... he pulled in the other direction. The harder I'd pull, the harder HE'D pull! We were a sight to see I'm sure. I thought to myself, "If you could only TRUST me... if you could just SEE where I'm carrying you and why." Just about the time I'm having those thoughts, conviction hits. How many times have I been like this silly little goat?? How many times has GOD lovingly tried to move me in another direction and I ran the other way?? It's funny (but not really) how we get something in our mind and we just will not budge in ANY other direction. I had to laugh when I realized that the LORD used a goat to teach me something about myself and about HIM. So now I'll pray that GOD will work that characteristic OUT of me.... at least when I'm using it in a bad way. HA!!!

Another lesson God has been showing me is that of discipline. Before I start I want to confirm that we have the sweetest boys on the face of the planet. Well, maybe we don't REALLY, but they're my babies and I sure think so! HAHAHAHA!

We've slacked off so much over the past 2, almost 3 years now. (To be honest, I've never been as diligent as I should've) I've been one of those moms that said... If you don't stop that, I'm gonna..... _______." Well, the problem with that is that I rarely did what I said I'd do. At least I didn't bring the discipline as soon as I should've. It seems that I'd wait until they had me just about to my boiling point before I'd really get after them. (I keep saying "I" because I'm the one at home with them most of the day. Link works from 5:30 am to about that time at night) That of course means that I'm with them MOST of the time so I get to do most of the correcting.

SOOOO....... A friend has shared some Proverbs with me. Before I start quoting them to you, I want to ask you first if you've ever heard this...... "Spare the rod, spoil the child." That's in the Bible... right??? WRONG! What the verse actually says is....


He who withholds his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him diligently.

So what I get from this is that if I DON'T discipline them, it's the same thing as saying that I hate them. It's goes on to say that if I LOVE my boys, I will discipline them diligently. Now, I do NOT hate my children. I'd give my life ANY day to protect them. I'm NOT advocating child abuse either... there's always SOMEONE out there ready to pounce on me when I say the wrong thing. It is WRONG to mistreat a child... WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!!!!!! If, however, the child is misbehaving, and we discipline GOD'S way (a spat on the sittin spot) it will LITERALLY make all the difference in the world as to what the child will become. Here are a few more verses on discipline......


Proverbs 3:12 For whom the LORD loves He reproves, Even as a father corrects the son in whom he delights.

Proverbs 19:18 Discipline your son while there is hope, And do not desire his death.

Proverbs 22:15 Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of discipline will remove it far from him.

Proverbs 23:13 Do not hold back discipline from the child, Although you strike him with the rod, he will not die.

Proverbs 23:14 You shall strike him with the rod And rescue his soul from Sheol (Hell).

Proverbs 29:15 The rod and reproof give wisdom, But a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother.

Proverbs 29:17 Correct your son, and he will give you comfort; He will also delight your soul.


I wondered at first if my constant rebuking the boys would put distance in our relationship. I say "constant" because I've let things go for so long that they didn't believe that when I said "stop" that I really meant for them to STOP. Well, much to my delight GOD proved HIMSELF true once again! The more I corrected the boys for doing wrong (and many times would use scripture to show them why what they were doing WAS wrong) the CLOSER we've become. They're even more loving, respectful, and are even BETTER about obeying. See, they don't realize that sometimes their obedience might just save their lives! An illustration I heard used once was that of a child playing on a railroad track. If the child is used to being disobedient they may stand and "test" us repeatedly until we MAKE them do what's been asked. This would NOT be a good idea if WE see a train coming (and they don't) and they chose to ignore what we've asked them to do. Obedience without question, in an instance MIGHT end up saving them. Okay.... so I did all of this rambling to say that as GOD shows us things, and we are obedient, we almost instantly begin to see the blessings of it. I'm SO THANKFUL for friends who aren't afraid to share GOD'S WORD with me, even if it means doing something that I really don't want to do. (This could go back to our billy-goat story) It doesn't matter if I want to correct my children when they do wrong.... GOD'S WORD says it's the thing to do. If I LOVE my boys and want them to be able to follow instruction (whether it be ours, that of their boss, a State Trooper, or even HIGHER in the ranks.... GOD HIMSELF) they have to learn to be obedient. If they can't follow our instruction, how much harder will it be to follow GOD'S?? Okay, I hope I don't sound "preachy." I'm only sharing the conviction of my heart and the things that GOD has been showing me.

Another really neat story to share is one I'm reading on marriage. That'll be another LONG update and it'll give me an excuse to check in soon... so I'll save it for later.

Before I sign off I'll confirm that we HAVE started school and it's going well. The boys have the most adorable sense of humor so there's always a little "funny" in our day. A really cute one to share on Gabe is something he said the other night. I can't remember WHAT he said, but he started out by saying, "Back in the old days.... like when I was 4 years old, or 5 years old".............. Keep in mind that he's ONLY 6 right now. He's a HOOT for sure!

Okay, my friends.... I'm gonna sign off for now. I'm sure your eyes are tired after reading this rambling session. (Haha) Seriously, we appreciate your PRAYERS, love and support MORE than we can ever say!! Knowing that we have to wait a little longer to be reunited with our sweet Brent is hard. However, because of GOD'S STRENGTH and your prayers we are able to look to the task set before. We are also comforted in the knowledge that we WILL be reunited and have an ETERNITY to spend together worshiping our LORD! Until next time....

We LOVE YOU,
Tonya

Thursday, August 2, 2007 11:16 AM CDT

Hello Friends!

It's hard to believe another week has passed already. I really wanted to update a couple more times before now, but then again I'm happy that this one is within a week. Hehehe... Anyway... I suppose I'm checking in to say that I don't have a lot to say. Ha!! We've been enjoying summer and are now counting the days till we start back to school. If all goes as planned that'll be Monday of next week. The boys aren't so much looking forward to it, but I think that having some sort of schedule will be nice again. It's funny how we can overload ourselves with "stuff" when we don't have any set plans. I feel like I've nearly worked myself silly the past couple of weeks. I'm happy to say that we did get the basement painted! We're thinking that since we spilled almost as much on the floor as we did the walls that it might be best to paint the floor too! Aunt Bibby suggested doing camouflage. That would be fun for the boys play room. Easy too! (We SURE DO LIKE EASY! HAHA!) It shouldn't be too much work either.... we've already got more than half of the floor painted "Mocha" (a nice khaki) so if we add in a brown or gray along with an army green it should look great! I was about to say I'd try and snap some pictures to share but I wouldn't hold my breath on that if I were you... he he! You can see that I've not been doing so well getting the pictures changed out.

Oh... I do know of a couple things that I need to share.... I asked for prayer for Ashley because she was having her tonsils and adenoids removed AND she had her nasal membranes reduced. I'm happy to report that she seems to be "over the hump" and is doing well. She will see the doctor on Saturday and will have HIS opinion of her well-being. We're looking forward to hearing that she's released to EAT!

Another thing to share is the outcome of our family reunion/birthday party for my Grandma. We had a HUGE turnout and Mam-Maw was SO PLEASED to see everyone!! Oh, and get this.... I've asked her for years and years AND YEARS if I could take her and have her ears pierced. Well, this year she gave in! It was actually kinda funny! She was sitting across from my aunt (who is also in the nursing home) and she said, "We can pierce my ears, but I don't want big ones like yours, I want some like HERS!" What a HOOT!!! (I was wearing some hoops that WERE pretty big) Guess what else??? I'm the one that actually pierced them! It's a long story how I got my hands on the piercing tool, but I did so we got Maw some small gold ball type earrings and fixed her up! She's SOOO CUTE. I thought I'd pick at her and tell her since I had her all "dolled up" (we did make-up and hair too) we'd see if we couldn't find her a man while we were out. She told me QUICK that she wouldn't have a man if he were strung in gold! She is HILARIOUS!!!

Now, to fill you in on our guys.... Zach & Gabe are doing well. They each occasionally voice that they miss Brent. Sometimes they'll say they wish he were still here. Even still, they have an AMAZING grasp on the fact that Brent is with JESUS!! They tell me over and over that they bet he is having SO MUCH FUN!! I can't help but think of the song "I Can Only Imagine" by "Mercy Me." I would find it and share it from here but I don't think I could listen to that song without crying BUCKETS so I'll share the lyrics instead.

"I can only imagine what it will be like, when I walk by Your side...
I can only imagine, what my eyes will see, when Your Face is before me!
I can only imagine. I can only imagine.
Surrounded by Your Glory, what will my heart feel?
Will I dance for you, Jesus? Or in awe of You, be still?
Will I stand in Your presence, or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing 'Hallelujah!'? Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine! I can only imagine!

I can only imagine, when that day comes, when I find myself standing in the Son!
I can only imagine, when all I will do, is forever, forever worship You!
I can only imagine! I can only imagine!

Surrounded by Your Glory, what will my heart feel?

Will I dance for you, Jesus? Or in awe of You, be still?
Will I stand in Your presence, or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing 'Hallelujah!'? Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine! Yeah! I can only imagine!

Surrounded by Your Glory, what will my heart feel?

Will I dance for you, Jesus? Or in awe of You, be still?
Will I stand in Your presence, or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing 'Hallelujah!'? Will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine! Yeah! I can only imagine!

I can only imagine! Yeah! I can only imagine!! Only imagine!!!
I can only imagine.

I can only imagine, when all I do is forever, forever worship You!
I can only imagine."

Okay... Back to the boys.... they've kept us busy and it's been such an amazing thing to watch them grow and change. It's simply mind-boggling to see how much Gabe is like Brent. Just to name a few ways.... he's ALWAYS HAPPY! He wakes up in the sweetest of moods. He talks and sings and dances all the time! It's really hard to say exactly, but even his expressions remind us of Brent. Then there's Zach.... he's protective of me the way Brent used to be. His voice even sounds like Brent sometimes.... PLEASE, don't get me wrong... I'm NOT saying that we think they SHOULD be like Brent, or that we're encouraging them to be someone they're not. We're absolutely NOT! I just see those as wonderful reminders of the precious little man we were so richly blessed to love!

As for Link and me... well, we're learning how to deal with everything and praying that GOD can use us to help others that are hurting. We really don't want to miss anything God has for us. HE has sure sent some AMAZING people into our lives and we're continually challenged to grow and be more like CHRIST. WE PRAISE HIM for surrounding us with each of you. I was just about to say I was going to "wrap it up" but I forgot there is one other thing I wanted to share. It's an email I got from my cousin and it holds a great lesson about honesty. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.



A successful Christian business man was growing old and knew it was time to choose a successor to take over the business. Instead of choosing one of his directors or his children, he decided to do something different. He called all the young executives in his company together. He said, "It is time for me to step down and choose the next
CEO. I have decided to choose one of you." The young executives were shocked, but the boss continued. "I am going to give each one of you a SEED today - one very special SEED. I want you to plant the seed, water it, and come back here one year from today with what you have grown from the seed I have given you. I will then judge the plants that you bring, and the one I choose will be the next CEO."

One man, named Jim, was there that day and he, like the others, received a seed. He went home and excitedly, told his wife the story. She helped him get a pot, soil and compost and he planted the seed. Every day, he would water it and watch to see if it had grown.

After about three weeks, some of the other executives began to talk about their seeds and the plants that were beginning to grow. Jim kept checking his seed, but nothing ever grew. Three weeks, four weeks, five weeks went by, still nothing. By now, others were talking about their
plants, but Jim didn't have a plant and he felt like a failure.

Six months went by--still nothing in Jim's pot. He just knew he had killed his seed. Everyone else had trees and tall plants, but he had nothing. Jim didn't say anything to his colleagues, however. He just kept watering and fertilizing the soil...he so wanted the seed to grow.

A year finally went by and all the young executives of the
company brought their plants to the CEO for inspection. Jim told his wife that he wasn't going to take an empty pot but she asked him to be honest about what happened. Jim felt sick at his stomach, it was going to be the most
embarrassing moment of his life, but he knew his wife was
right. He took his empty pot to the board room. When Jim arrived, he was amazed at the variety of plants grown by the other executives. They were beautiful--in all shapes and sizes. Jim put his empty pot on the floor and many of his colleagues laughed, a few felt sorry for him.

When the CEO arrived, he surveyed the room and greeted his
young executives. Jim just tried to hide in the back. "My, what great plants, trees, and flowers you have grown," said the CEO. "Today one of you will be appointed the next CEO!" All of a sudden, the CEO spotted Jim at the back
of the room with his empty pot. He ordered the Financial Director to bring him to the front. Jim was terrified. He thought, "The CEO knows I'm a failure! Maybe he will have me fired!"

When Jim got to the front, the CEO asked him what had happened to his seed and Jim told him the story. The CEO asked everyone to sit down except Jim. He looked at Jim, and then announced to the young executives, "Behold your next Chief Executive! His name is Jim!" Jim couldn't believe it. Jim couldn't even grow his seed. How could he be the new CEO the others said?

Then the CEO said, "One year ago today, I gave everyone in this room a seed. I told you to take the seed, plant it, water it, and bring it back to me today. I gave you all boiled seeds; they were dead - it was not possible for them to grow. All of you, except Jim, have brought me trees, plants and flowers.

When you found that the seed would not grow, you substituted another seed for the one I gave you. Jim was the only one with the courage and honesty to bring me a pot with my seed in it. Therefore, he is the one who
will be the New Chief Executive Officer!"

If you plant honesty, you will reap trust.

If you plant goodness, you will reap friends.

If you plant humility, you will reap greatness.

If you plant perseverance, you will reap contentment.

If you plant consideration, you will reap perspective.

If you plant hard work, you will reap success.

If you plant forgiveness, you will reap reconciliation.

If you plant faith in Christ, you will reap a harvest.

So, be careful what you plant now; it will determine what you will reap later.




Two thousand years ago Paul wrote to the church at Galatia the same story but with fewer words, "What you sow, so shall you reap".
(Gal.6:7)

We are grass that will wither and die but the incorruptible seed of God's Word will live forever - sow it daily into the life of your family! (1Peter 1: 23 - 25)



WHEW!! Aren't you glad I wasn't long winded today??? HAHAHA! Sorry, I never seem to know when to stop do I?? Alrighty... I guess I'll let you go for real this time. (Hehehe) I hope you have an AWESOME weekend! Thanks SO MUCH for being here for us!!



We love you,
Tonya




Delivered into Your Hand
8/2/2007

And the Lord said to Joshua, "Do not fear them, for I have delivered them into your hand; not a man of them shall stand before you."
JOSHUA 10:8


"No greater confidence will ever come to you or to any other Christian than the confidence of knowing you are doing God's will. God will not commission you to do anything without ensuring your success. God assured Joshua that there was no reason to fear as he prepared to battle the Canaanites. God would allow the Israelites to fight the battle, but the outcome was settled before they ever picked up their weapons. What confidence this gave them as they fought! Even though their enemies fought relentlessly, Joshua's army was certain of eventual victory.

God does not promise you victory in every task you devise, but He does promise that you will be successful whenever you follow His will (Deut. 28:7, 2 5).

Does it appear that people are keeping you from obeying God's will? Rest assured that God will not allow anyone or anything to prevent His children from accomplishing His purposes.

Be careful to evaluate success in the way that God does. Perhaps He is working to produce His peace in your heart as you face troubling times. Perhaps He is working to develop a forgiving spirit in you when others mistreat you. Perhaps He is working to eliminate a particular sin in your life. If you accept the world's understanding of victory, you may feel defeated. If you look to see what God is accomplishing through your situation, you will find that He is succeeding. When you face opposition but know you are doing what God has asked, have confidence that He will accomplish everything that He desires."


You can learn more about Dr. Blackaby, his writings, and his ministry at www.blackaby.org, or write:

Blackaby Ministries International
P.O. Box 16338
Atlanta, GA 30321

Thursday, July 26, 2007 6:30 AM CDT

We'd like to wish a VERY Happy Birthday to Aunt Bibbie!!!! (July 28)

Also, as I mentioned earlier... my Mam-Maw will be 100 on July 30!!! We love you both!

Hello Friends!

I can't believe it's been so long since I've updated. I think of you (my Internet family) daily and think of so many things I want to share with you. It seems that one thing or another keeps me from coming. There is SO MUCH to share and I really don't know where to start.

Let's see... the last thing I shared with you from here was our trip to Gulf Shores. Since then we celebrated the 4th with our families. We had lunch with Link's family and supper with mine. I've a few pics from both places to share, but I failed to capture some of the most interesting. See, on the 3rd it's tradition for the grands to spend the evening with the Nasons. They go with Mr. Sam to pick up the hog and then I think there's some sort of secret contest between anyone 11 years old and younger to see WHO can get the dirtiest! (Hehehe... did you detect sarcasm in my voice??) Yes, the boys were SO DIRTY that I really didn't want to put them in my truck to bring them home. HA! The day of the 4th the little people were a tiny bit better about staying clean and they played until they nearly passed out! (Okay... can you see that I have issues about them staying clean??? JUST KIDDING! It's just part of being a kid I suppose)

We decided to do something different with my folks so we picked up a pizza from Pizza Hut and reloaded on fireworks. The boys had a blast chasing all of the females around with the "stink bombs." (Couldn't you just imagine Brent in on all the mischief??) They found it ESPECIALLY funny when they were able to sneak up and break one and not get caught... that is... UNTIL the smell escaped. I'll try to get pictures up SOON!

With all of the preparation for the 4th and watching the excitement build in the boys made me miss our sweet Brent SO MUCH MORE! It didn't help that I'd dreamed about him on the 1st. It seemed that I had one dream after another of him still being here. Those are NOT so much fun to have. It's just heartbreaking to wake up and realize that he's just not here anymore. Needless to say that I was a TOTAL WRECK by morning. The weird thing is.... this terrible day just happened to be on July 2. If you are wondering WHY I'm giving you so many dates you're about to find out. See, I hadn't even noticed, but all of this happened to be 6 months to the date that we lost Brent. (It's almost been 7 now.. it's so hard to believe it's been that long.... sometimes it seems like yesterday) Anyway, I couldn't help but remember him and holidays past that we've celebrated with HIM. He LOVED to eat... he LOVED to play... and he LOVED anything that involved getting together with family and friends. Yes, we're missing our little man something awful! I just PRAISE GOD for JESUS and that because of HIM we'll be together again soon.

I once read that President Lincoln had just lost his son and was consumed with grief. The way the story was told.... someone came to him and asked him why he was grieving, and told him that his son was NOT DEAD. This person went on to share the gospel with Mr. Lincoln and because of it he accepted Christ and found HOPE that he would indeed be reunited with his son again. Okay... so I've been researching online for almost an hour now to see if I could find something backing up the story I just shared. (I'm SO BAD about starting to tell a story then I can't remember the way it went... so if you KNOW this to be true please tell me) Either way... this is EXACTLY how we feel. We will ALWAYS MISS our sweet Brent, but knowing that he's safe with JESUS and that we'll be together again really does help!

Now, to move on in our update (and to avoid upsetting myself to the point of not being able to finish) I'll fill you in on another of our latest adventures. We finally made a road-trip with Link! Yes, we packed up and headed out for West Virginia. We stopped along the way and visited Ruby Falls... that in itself was AMAZING! If I'm remembering right... the guide told us that it is the world's LARGEST underground waterfall. How ANYONE can see creation such as that and doubt that there is a LIVING GOD is beyond me. I heard a guide with a different group offering all of the opinions of how something formed. I said under my breath as we passed... "It was GOD!" Okay, so it's easy to see that I couldn't make a living doing work like that.... I wouldn't be able to follow the dialog..... "Ten BAZILLION years ago this or that was formed." I'd probably be saying things like, "Isn't it evident that there IS a GOD??? Isn't HE just the most AWESOME???" Also, the Bible teaches that the earth formed a few THOUSAND years ago... NOT MILLIONS AND BILLIONS! One of my favorite websites is answersingenesis.org. They teach that according to the Bible the earth is about 6 thousand years old. I challenge you to read up on it! I think it's very interesting to hear someone give a Christian account of the world and all that's in it!

Since we've been back from our trip to West Virginia we've been sticking pretty close to home. That's NOT to say that we've not been busy though. ;-) I've put up some corn and tomatoes. I'd really like to put up more, but the boys won't eat ANYTHING that falls under "vegetable." That is UNLESS I trick em by putting it in something they don't know it's in. I heard once that you can boil carrots and then puree them, adding them to your spaghetti sauce. Yes, I know it sounds gross, but unless you put TONS of it in there, you really can't taste it! It's sad, but sometimes you have to be sneaky (or creative) when trying to get your children to eat. (Even the GROWN one! HA!!)

As for what's kept us busy this week... well, the boys and I decided we'd get energetic and repaint the basement. I got permission from Link a week or so ago, but he doesn't know that we're actually doing it. Zach & Gabe wanted to surprise their daddy, so we're working while he's at work. I'm VERY PLEASED to say that the boys have worked VERY HARD down there! Normally they'd "play out" almost as soon as they started. Now, granted the floor is getting A LOT of paint too... but what they've actually put on the walls looks GREAT!! HA!!!!! As for the floor, it's just concrete so there's no worries over spilled paint!

Well, friends, I know there is so much more I wanted to tell you.... it's been WAY TOO LONG since we've last talked and I'm sure I could sit and "chat with you" for HOURS! I PROMISE that I do plan on updating more often. I actually have hopes of TRYING to update daily again. (Eventually)

Okay... I'll try to get the pictures up soon. Today is the day we plan to finish painting so hopefully by late afternoon or tomorrow I'll actually get the pictures up! I hope you all have a WONDERFUL day!!!




Love, Tonya

Oh yeah.... I told our friend (and Prayer Warrior) Jill that I'd share their unborn baby girl's website. Little Hutton has had some serious health issues. God has already shown HIMSELF in HUGE ways with this baby girl. If you have a minute please stop in and leave an encouraging word for them. You can find them at caringbridge.org/visit/huttonjohnson


We've also met and befriended another neuroblastoma family online. I told Johellen A LONG TIME AGO that I'd share their site here.... this is one ADORABLE little man!! You can find them at http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/ianmurphy If you have time to leave them a word of encouragement in their guestbooks... please let these families know you're friends of ours and that you'll remember Hutton and Ian in your prayers! THANKS SOOOOOO MUCH for your support of our family and those of our friends!!

WHOOPS!! Speaking of... Our friends Madelyn Beamon and Bella Horrocks BOTH have scans this week! Let's PRAY for some AWESOME test results for both of these beautiful little ladies!??!

Finally, our buddy Jordan Amato has had some dental issues. After reading his site I've learned that he's supposed to have gum surgery this week. We'll be keeping Jordan in our prayers as well! (See what a good friend I am??? I've not talked to my bud Susan in FOREVER! She's one of my VERY BEST BUDS!! Sorry, Susan!)






Your Heavenly Father Knows You
7/26/2007

"Therefore do not be like them. For your Father knows
the things you have need of before you ask Him."
Matthew 6:8

"Even before we call on Him, the Father has already begun to provide all that we need (Isa. 65:24). Jesus wanted his disciples to learn how intimately God knew and loved each of them. That is why He told them to pray. He assured them that even before they prayed, God knew all about their situation.

Prayer is not designed for us to inform God of our needs, for He already knows them. Why, then, should we pray? Prayer enables us to experience God more intimately. The more a child experiences the loving provision of a parent, the more convinced he becomes of his parent’s unrelenting love. Often a parent will anticipate a child’s need before the child recognizes it and be prepared in advance to provide for that need. Our heavenly Father knows exactly what we will face today and next week. He is eager for us to experience Him as He provides for us.

To our surprise, we often discover that God knows far better than we do what is best for us. At times we assume that we know what would benefit us. We can even be foolish enough to assume that we don’t require anything of God. Yet God wants us to go to him in our need (Matt. 7:7). He is ready to show His strength through our weakness. Our heavenly Father knows exactly what is best for us, and He is prepared to provide for every need, if we will but ask (Phil. 4:13)."







You can learn more about Dr. Blackaby, his writings, and his ministry at www.blackaby.org, or write:

Blackaby Ministries International
P.O. Box 16338
Atlanta, GA 30321

Saturday, July 14, 2007 11:07 PM CDT

Hello Friends!

I'm not gonna keep you, but I did want to check in and let you know that I DO intend to update again. Hehehe.... I'm SO SORRY that I've been lagging behind in keeping you all posted. I sure don't want to appear ungrateful to you for keeping watch over us. I think of you many times each day as little "memorable" things happen. It always seems that one thing or another keeps me busy. I actually started an update last night. It's going to have so much information about what we've been up to that I just couldn't get it posted.

Before I turn in tonight I wanted to wish my Daddy a belated "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" No, we didn't forget him... my sister and I along with all of our babes called to sing to him. (Bless his heart! HAHAHA) I only say "belated" because I waited so long in-between updates that I failed to mention it here. While I'm mentioning birthdays I'll go ahead and wish Ashley & Clay a happy one! Clay's birthday is July 17 (he will turn 11) and Ash's is July 19. (She will be 13!) It's so hard to believe they're getting so old. It seems like yesterday we were just bringing Ash and Brent home from the hospital. Here's a little something neat to share.... My sister and I seemed to be in some sort of weird pattern when having our babes. Ashley was the firstborn between my sister and myself. She was born in 94. Then we had Brent on October 28, 1995, Kerry had Clay in 96, and I had Zach on October 14, 1997! Yep, we stayed busy there for a while taking care of all those sweet new babies! Of course our Gabe came along 3 years later on December 21, 2000! He shares a birthday with Link's sister Virginia! Now with all of that family birthday info I just gave you... I just HAVE to tell you that my Mam-Maw will be 100 years old on July 30!! Oh, and I can't forget to mention Aunt Bibby who will be having a birthday on July 28.

Now, I've mentioned some of the fun stuff... I'd like to mention a little prayer need for Ashley. She's scheduled to have surgery on July 20 (the day after her birthday) to have her tonsils taken out.. and maybe her adenoids too?? I know that there were several things Kerry said the doctor wanted to do. Among the things mentioned.... he also told them that if she were old enough he'd want to shrink her tongue too! Have you EVER heard of such???? Bless her heart! Anyway... we'll be praying for our "Pookie" to come through this with flying colors.

So much for a short update huh??? Hehe... Just imagine when I do the REAL ONE! Scary thought isn't it??? HA!

Thanks SO MUCH for checking in and for keeping our family covered with prayer! Every day is a struggle without our precious Brent... and yet it's another day closer to going HOME... HOME where we will one day ALL be together again! Thank YOU JESUS for giving us this HOPE!

We love and appreciate you more than you'll ever know. Oh, and don't forget to check back soon for the extended version of the update that will have our recent travels along with pictures!

Ya'll have a GREAT WEEKEND!
Love,
Tonya



God Will Not Forget
7/14/2007

"Can a woman forget her nursing child,
And not have compassion on the son of her womb?
Surely they may forget, Yet I will not forget you."
ISAIAH 49:15

"God never becomes preoccupied or neglectful toward one of His children. God said it would be more likely for a nursing mother to forget the infant at her breast than for Him to forget one of His children! The nursing mother has a keen sensitivity to her baby. Even if the infant is in another room the mother's senses are in tune with her child. The mother knows when it is time to feed and care for the child. The mother never becomes so preoccupied with other things that she neglects the needs of her child.

It is fitting that God chose this imagery to describe how He looks after His people, for He is more sensitive to the needs of His children than even the most loving mother. He anticipates every cry for help. Even before we can call out in need, God is responding with His answer (Isa. 65:24). This is one of the most comforting promises God has given to us: that He will never forget us.

Don't let the difficult circumstances you are facing convince you that God has forgotten you. Don't ever assume that God is more concerned with the needs of other, more significant, more spiritual people than He is with yours. Scripture teaches that God looks upon you with the same love, interest, and concern as a nursing mother would look upon her infant. It should reassure you to know that your Father loves you like that!"





You can learn more about Dr. Blackaby, his writings, and his ministry at www.blackaby.org, or write:

Blackaby Ministries International
P.O. Box 16338
Atlanta, GA 30321

Thursday, June 28, 2007 8:02 PM CDT

Me again...

I think I figured out how to add the captions. LOL!! Okay, I never claimed to be the brightest crayon in the box. HA!! Now, I'll warn you... I think there are a little over 80 pics on there. I tend to drive everyone around me crazy with the camera! Hehehe

Thanks for checkin in!



Thursday, June 28, 2007 7:37 PM CDT

Hello Again Friends...

I'm a little late checking in but I do so with good news! My labs today were all within NORMAL range!! (Good thing SOMETHING about me is huh?? Hehehe) The doc said that if the swelling in the nodes would've been cancerous there would be some "red flags." By that I mean things like elevated white cell counts. Nothing came up in any of the blood tests they ran. The only one still out is one they did on my thyroid levels. I should hear from that next week. Needless to say I'm PRAISING GOD for the good news. I should've known everything was okay, but I AM a bit of a worry-wart. Ha! Thanks SO MUCH for your prayers!! Oh, if you're wondering what the plan is for the mysterious knots... well, they put me on antibiotic and told me if they're not gone in 10 days to check back in.

Now, you might have noticed that I've got the beach pictures up. You probably know everyone by now, but just in case you don't I'll "introduce you" to the family. Obviously the boys are Zach & Gabe. (Zach is the blue-eyed one and Gabe has brown) The pretty brunette is Joni. She was one of our FAVORITE nurses from St. Jude. (I think Brent had a little crush on her... he was so cute when we came back to Memphis he kept telling her over and over how much he loved her) There's a picture of a man grilling. That's my Uncle Sam, he's my Mom's brother. The picture of the ladies in pink and coral are my Mom and Aunt Betty. I think that's pretty much it. I'd have put captions on the pictures but I stored them on a different site and it's not as obvious (or easy) as the others I've used. (I'm a little computer-challenged...hehehe)

Thanks again for your friendship, time and prayers!!

Love,
Tonya




Thursday, June 28, 2007 5:42 AM CDT

Hello Friends...

I thought I'd check in quickly with a little prayer request for myself. I noticed on Sunday that I had a knot in my neck, which didn't concern me so much because I know that a leftover virus (such as a cold) could settle in the glands and become infected. Well, then I found another on the base of my skull and another in front of my right ear. My neck is beginning to become tender along with a lot of fatigue, so I FINALLY decided I'd go see a doctor. (I was gonna try to be brave and wait it out) I think since we went through all of that stuff with Brent I'm a bit of a hypochondriac! Hehehe... At any rate I've learned it's better to be "safe than sorry." If you will, please pray and agree with me in prayer that whatever is going on will turn out to be NOTHING! I'll fill you in as soon as I find out.

As for the family... well, Link is working daily (except the weekends) and he seems to be doing well. (I guess you might say as well as can be expected) We're all staying busy with the daily grind and are trying to fit a lot of fun things in for the boys. As a matter of fact, the boys and I just got back a few days ago from another little road trip. My Aunt has a beach house in Gulf Shores, AL and were invited down so loaded up along with my Mom and Joni and headed south. I've got LOTS of pictures that I hope to get added soon. (Maybe... just MAYBE I'll get em up today) I don't know if you remember that we talked about taking a family trip there a while back but I've always been outnumbered by my guys. Link gave me the "go ahead" so we did. Hopefully we'll have a family trip to the mountains before the summer is out. (For Link's sake, we just hate to keep leaving him behind!)

Oh, in updating on the boys... have I mentioned that Zach is taking guitar lessons? I'll try to talk him into allowing me to snap a few pictures during his next lesson. He's really sticking with it... we're so proud of him! He and Gabe keep us busy! They're ALWAYS up to something. You'll see in the pics that I'll post soon how much ENERGY they have! Yep, they had a BLAST on the beach! Gabe actually begged to stay there! LOL!! Their little minds stay busy but it's evident in what they say that they're ALWAYS thinking about their big brother Brent! That of course is a blessing because I don't want them to EVER forget him!

Alrighty my friends, I guess I'll sign off... I'll go and try to get those pictures loaded. Keep checking back... I'd LOVE to have them up TODAY!

Thanks SO MUCH for keeping watch over us and for your continued prayers!

We love you,
Tonya




Where Your Treasure Is
6/28/2007

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
LUKE 12:34

"What you value most is your treasure. Where you spend your time and your money is your treasure. Whatever dominates your conversation is what you treasure. What others know you for is a good indication of what your treasure is.

Most Christians are quick to claim that God is their first priority. Yet often their actions reveal that their treasure is not God but things of this world. Some Christians find it difficult to discuss their relationship with God, but they can chatter easily about their family, friends, or hobbies. Some find it impossible to rise early in order to spend time with God, but they willingly get up at dawn to pursue a hobby. Some find it difficult to give an offering to God but readily spend lavishly on recreation. Some boldly approach strangers to sell a product, yet they are painfully timid in telling others about their Savior. Some give hundreds of hours to serve in volunteer organizations but feel they have no time available to serve God.

If you are unsure of where your treasure is, examine where you spend your available time and money. Reflect on what it is you most enjoy thinking about and discussing. Ask your friends to tell you what they think is most important to you. Ask your children to list the things most valuable to you. It may surprise you to know what others consider to be your treasure."




You can learn more about Dr. Blackaby, his writings, and his ministry at www.blackaby.org, or write:

Blackaby Ministries International
P.O. Box 16338
Atlanta, GA 30321






Devotion taken from NAMB.NET

Tuesday, June 19, 2007 1:03 PM CDT

Hello Friends....

I've been having FITS to come and share some WONDERFUL news!! After asking MANY questions recently our sweet Gabe accepted JESUS as LORD this morning!! PRAISE GOD!! He started out saying he needed to be "baptized." Well, I explained that the water is NOT what brings salvation - that it's putting his HOPE and TRUST IN JESUS! We talked about how becoming a Christian is NOT just about saying a prayer and then going back and living the way we want... it's a SURRENDERED life to CHRIST!

To make certain that Gabe REALLY understood what he was asking to do I told him he needed to talk to his daddy. Well, Gabe went to his dad and Link also wanted to know that it was REAL. SO... he too tried to wait just a bit to make SURE that Gabe understood! Our little one came again this morning and said... I WANT TO BECOME A CHRISTIAN!" It doesn't get any clearer than that does it???

When we dealt with Brent and with Zach as they first started questioning the things of GOD we asked several trusted, and MATURE Christian friends what to do. Each time we were advised to answer what was asked... but to NEVER push. We've done just that with Gabe and we feel CONFIDENT that he KNOWS and MEANS what he did. Can you just imagine the rejoicing in heaven??



Luke 15:10 (New American Standard Bible)

10"In the same way, I tell you, there is joy (A)in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents."


I'm sure his big brother Brent was told about Gabe's decision and he's so very proud of him!



Okay... I won't keep you. I really didn't have too much to tell, but this was one of those things that I just couldn't keep to myself. Thank you SOOOO MUCH for your prayers and support of our family. You guys will never know how much you've meant to us!


We love you,
Tonya


<>< <>< <><

Praying but Not Believing
6/19/2007

When she recognized Peter’s voice, because of her gladness she did not open the gate, but ran in and announced that Peter stood before the gate. But they said to her, "You are beside yourself!" Yet she kept insisting that it was so. So they said, "It is his angel."
ACTS 12:14-15

"You can say prayers in your mind but doubt in your heart. At times God will answer such prayers as He did when Peter was in prison, scheduled for execution. The believers in Jerusalem were powerless to free him, so they prayed. When God released Peter, their reaction revealed the doubt in their hearts. They argued that Peter could not possibly be free, even as he stood outside knocking on the door!

Is it possible to be a ""person of prayer"" and yet not have faith? Is it possible to fool yourself into believing that because you ask God for help, you have faith in His ability to meet your needs? Is your faith so weak that you are surprised when God answers your prayer? As a child of God, you ought to expect God to answer your prayers. Do you ask God to do something without adjusting your life to what you are praying? If you are praying for revival, how are you preparing for its coming? If you are praying for forgiveness, are you still living with guilt? If you have asked God to provide for your needs, do you remain worried and anxious?

Ask God to increase your faith and then begin living a life that reflects absolute trust in Him. Out of His grace, God may choose to respond to your requests despite your lack of faith, but you will miss the joy of praying in faith."




You can learn more about Dr. Blackaby, his writings, and his ministry at www.blackaby.org, or write:

Blackaby Ministries International
P.O. Box 16338
Atlanta, GA 30321

Friday, June 15, 2007 6:57 AM CDT

Friday, June 15
Practice over Precept

And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.
Ephesians 6:4


Recommended Reading
Psalm 128:1-6


In February 2007, New York City mayor Michael Bloomberg, a multi-billionaire who made his fortune in the financial services industry, was in Jerusalem to give away part of his personal wealth. "My father taught me the importance of giving back," he said, "and I've tried to follow his example and give what I can to those organizations working for the good of all." Bloomberg recounted watching his father, a bookkeeper who made $11,000 a year, write out a $25 donation check to a cause he believed in.

What our children see us do makes a far greater impact than what we tell them to do. Whether it is financial generosity, spiritual faithfulness to Christ, daily habits of godly discipline, the joy of the Lord in the face of hardship, or sacrificial love for others, precepts are confirmed by practice. When Paul wrote to "bring up" our children, he said to do it by "admonition" (precept) and "training" (practice). Even if you lose your voice, you can raise godly children by your example.

When evaluating your own children's development, watch for the ways they are mirroring your own practices—for better or for worse.


The greatest teacher is not experience; it is example.
John Croyle

Read-Thru-the-Bible
Psalms 69:1 - 72:20

Hello Friends!

I thought I'd check in quickly to share this devotion as it speaks VOLUMES about how we live our lives. (I was convicted as I read it) Yes, we can watch our little ones and tell pretty quickly how much they "mirror" what we do. I know that I personally battle with patience. (Among other things) I really struggle to keep it together when the little ones are not only standing on, but also seem to be STOMPING on my VERY LAST NERVE. (Hehe) Now, as I watch the boys I see how little patience they have with each other. Anyway... with running the risk of sounding "preachy" I still wanted to share this. There's just so much truth in it. Okay... okay... changing the subject....

I also wanted to take a moment to wish all the Dad's out there a VERY HAPPY Father's Day! I'd also like to ask you to remember Link as he'll have to "celebrate" this holiday with a TREMENDOUS part of him now gone. I know that Mother's Day was hard for me, and yet I felt so COMPLETELY WRAPPED in PRAYER! (Thanks SO MUCH to those of you who prayed so diligently for me!) I'm not sure how Link will handle this special day... I do know that it's among many "firsts" that we'll each have to face without Brent.

Okay... If I'm going to be true to my word and keep this update short I need to go ahead and wrap it up. Thanks SOOO MUCH for checking in on us and for the prayer that you continue to surround us with. You'll never know how much you all mean to us.

Have a GREAT WEEKEND!

Love,
Tonya

WHOOPS! I forgot to tell you that Mr. Sam had a very good day yesterday! They'd been warned by his doctor that he might be sore and brusied, but thankfully he was NEITHER! He actually joked that he didn't think the doctor did ANYTHING to him. PRAISE GOD!! Thanks again for praying!






A Godly Influence
6/15/2007

Then the Lord said to Noah, "Come into the ark, you and all your household, because I have seen that you are righteous before Me in this generation."
GENESIS 7:1


The children of Noah faced a significant decision. They lived in a world where everyone blatantly disregarded God. Wickedness was the norm. No one would have condemned Noah's sons for living evil lives like the rest of society - no one except their father. In a world rampant with ungodly attitudes and every form of wicked behavior, they were fortunate to be Noah's sons. When their father invited them to spend the next hundred years building an ark in obedience to a word from God, Noah's sons had to choose whether to believe those around them or to trust their father. They chose to join their father. What a wonderful testimony of Noah's godly influence in his home! How fortunate for Shem, Ham, and Japheth that their father refused to compromise his integrity, even though everyone else in his society had done so.

Your life has an influence on those around you as well. Your spouse and your children are profoundly affected by your choices. Those you work with, your neighbors, and your friends will all be impacted by your life. As the world tries to persuade people to follow its standard, your life should stand in stark contrast as an example of a righteous person. Your life should convince those around you of the wisdom of following God. Do not underestimate the positive effect that your obedience will have upon those close to you.


You can learn more about Dr. Blackaby, his writings, and his ministry at www.blackaby.org, or write:

Blackaby Ministries International
P.O. Box 16338
Atlanta, GA 30321


Devotion taken from NAMB.NET






Wednesday, June 13, 2007 10:06 PM CDT

Hello Friends...

I wanted to check in quickly to let you know that Mr. Sam did well with his procedure and was back home by noon today. It's amazing what can be accomplished in such a short time. Thanks SO MUCH for your prayers!! I'm not sure what the long-term plan is. I think what they did today was about all that has to be done for treatment. I will keep you updated though.

To fill you in a little on our family... we kept Ash & Clay (my sister's kids) while Kerry & Shannon went out of town this past weekend. (It was their anniversary) It's always a pleasure to have them! Clay keeps the boys busy and Ashley is such a little helper! She's like having another adult around... I just LOVE HER to pieces! (She's the firstborn of all my nieces and/or nephews and I was allowed to "play house" with her before I ever had my own. In many ways they feel like mine too) Needless to say the boys had a BLAST with them here!

Of course they've also got to spend some time with "the girls." Yes, the girls are how we lovingly refer to Addison and Lora Beth. Virginia (Link's sister) had girls- we had boys! Half the time they probably feel like they have a group name instead of their own. (hehehe) ANYWAY.... they spent the night here last night as Virginia went with her parents to the early doctor visit this morning. They've been playing on the computer, swimming, and watching LOTS of TV together. We've been keeping pretty busy as you can see... trying to make the most of every new day God gives us.

As I speak of "keeping busy" there is still nothing I like better than being home with my fellas! We miss Brent with every ounce of our being. There will never be a day when we don't, but we know that we've got to keep on keeping on until the day the LORD allows us to be together again. We are trying to make new memories with Zach & Gabe and show them how VERY MUCH they ALL mean to us! We've been truly blessed to have had our three precious boys! We're forever thankful to GOD for loaning them to us. :)

Okay... I'm gonna sign off now....... thanks again for checking in and for praying!

WE LOVE YOU!!
Tonya




What Comes out of Your Mouth?
6/13/2007

"But those things which proceed out of the mouth
come from the heart, and they defile a man."
MATTHEW 15:18

"The Bible stresses that what you say is an accurate indicator of what is in your heart. If your words bless and encourage others, they give evidence of a compassionate heart. If you often share the good news about Christ, you demonstrate a heart that is grateful for your own salvation. When others are in a crisis, do they know they will find peace and comfort in your words? Do you frequently and spontaneously offer prayers for others? Do your words and the manner in which you say them reveal a patient heart? All of these behaviors indicate a heart that is like the heart of the Father.

Or do you often regret your words? Are there people even now who are hurt or angry because of something you have said? Do you enjoy gossip? Do you tend to criticize others? Do you feel that you are not responsible for what comes out of your mouth when you are angry? Does your mouth spew grumbling and complaints? These behaviors come from a heart that is unlike God's heart.

You may say, ""Oh, but that's just the way I am! I'm always saying the wrong thing!"" Yet Scripture clearly states that an abusive tongue is not under the control of the Spirit (James 3:3-10). A sanctified mouth is a wonderful instrument for the Lord. A heart like the Father's heart will produce only pure and loving words. Without making any excuses for your words, ask the Holy Spirit to forgive you for any words that have brought harm. Then ask Him to discipline your mouth so that every word you speak is used by God to encourage and edify others."




You can learn more about Dr. Blackaby, his writings, and his ministry at www.blackaby.org, or write:

Blackaby Ministries International
P.O. Box 16338
Atlanta, GA 30321









Tuesday, June 12, 2007 7:19 AM CDT

Hello Friends!

I'm checking back in this morning to share a prayer request. As you may know, I've seldom asked for prayer for anything other than sick children, but this one is close to our hearts. We've known for some time that Link's dad (Mr. Sam) has had some "iffy" test results but we've only recently learned that he does indeed have prostate cancer. Thankfully it was caught at a very early stage and has very good cure rates.... nonetheless... we DO NOT like cancer in ANY shape, form or fashion! Tomorrow Mr. Sam will be having the procedure and we're asking that you join us in prayer as we ask GOD for his COMPLETE EARTHLY HEALING! We're also praying for peace for him and Mrs. Barbara as they have to deal with this so soon after losing Brent.

Thankfully there's not much more to tell right now so I'll wrap this up with another of Dr. Henry Blackaby's online devotions. There is nothing like reading GOD'S WORD for ourselves, but I always get a blessing from these devotions. I pray you're having a WONDERFUL week!

Oh... in case you didn't notice... there is an update from yesterday with pictures! (If you can believe it... he he!)

Thanks SO MUCH for always being here for us!

We love you,
Tonya


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The Keys of the Kingdom
6/12/2007

"I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven."
MATTHEW 16:19

"The keys of the kingdom represent the access you have to the Father through your relationship to Jesus Christ. With this relationship you have access to everything that is accessible to Christ. However, this access is not given indiscriminately; Jesus gave the keys to His disciples only after they recognized that He was the Christ. Once the disciples were convinced that Jesus was the Savior, they entered into a unique and personal relationship with Him. Their relationship to Jesus gave them direct access to their heavenly Father. Likewise, your relationship with Christ opens the door of heaven for you and gives you direct access to the Father.

Peter discovered that once he had keys to the kingdom, he could go to the Father in every situation. When he stood to preach before thousands on the day of Pentecost, this simple fisherman opened the door to the kingdom for three thousand people in one day (Acts 2:41). When he encountered a lame man, he used his access to God and His healing power, and the man was healed (Acts 3:6). When he was imprisoned, Peter discovered that the keys of the kingdom could open even the most secure prison door (Acts 12:6-10). If you are a Christian you, too, have keys to the kingdom of heaven. You do not need an intermediary, for you have an unobstructed access to God. With that access come all the resources you need to face any circumstance. When you are afraid, you have access to God's peace that surpasses comprehension (Phil. 4:6). When you have a broken relationship, you have access to the God of reconciliation (2 Cor. 5:18-21). When you meet someone in need, you have access to God's provision for that person. What an incredible privilege to be entrusted with keys to the kingdom of heaven!"




You can learn more about Dr. Blackaby, his writings, and his ministry at www.blackaby.org, or write:

Blackaby Ministries International
P.O. Box 16338
Atlanta, GA 30321










Monday, June 11, 2007 7:13 AM CDT


Hello Friends....

I can't believe so much time has passed since the last time I updated. I really do intend to update more often. We've been so busy lately... it's just been hard to sit still. We've learned that busy can be a VERY GOOD THING! Sitting still can definitely be a little too much at times, so we PRAISE GOD for all of the nice distractions.

Now.. It's been so long since we've really "talked" that I'm having a little trouble figuring out WHERE to start. Hehe...

Okay... I'll go back as far as one of the most exciting things we've done this past month. (Well, the last couple of weeks of May up until now) As always... I have to give you a little background information so you'll know the "what and why" of what we did.

Sometime back we heard something on TV (or online... don't remember exactly which) and it was a story about someone finding a pretty large diamond in a field in Arkansas. Well, few months ago we actually saw a full story on the state park where you can go and look for diamonds (and keep what you find)! As you can imagine, digging in DIRT for buried TREASURE is EXACTLY what our little dudes LOVE to do! Now, along about the same time Virginia (Link's sister) called to tell me that her girls had just studied about this park in school and that they were wanting to go. We talked about it for a few days thinking that we MIGHT eventually get to go, but not really sure it would ever happen either. Then... guess what happened??? The weather report was predicting a drop in temps for the upcoming week so we decided if we were going to go, that week was probably going to be best time. Unfortunately our husbands couldn't get away, but they did give us permission to go and take the little ones. Needless to say Virginia and I took off on a road trip! It was a short one (hehe)... but our crew had a BLAST! I do have pictures and will try to get those loaded in just a bit. (I'll actually just drop them in right here when I get them up along with some information about what was happening) So... if you're planning on checking back to see the pictures be sure to scroll through the update to find them. Oh... and if you're wondering... we DIDN'T find any diamonds! (hehe)

Alrighty.... I'm back (Most of you never missed me did ya? Hehehe) Here are the pics from our trip! (I got the idea of the "checker-board style" from our friend Heather. Heather is Jacob Duckworth's Mom... caringbridge.org/fl/jacob

As for other things.... well, the rest of our time hasn't be quite as adventurous. We've made far enough in school to be able to see a light at the end of the tunnel! Needless to say we've slowed down a bit and are enjoying our summer. We'll probably do a lot of "studying" throughout the summer to make up for all the inconsistency, but the boys have done AMAZINGLY WELL under the circumstances! Honestly, I don't know how they can remember all of it considering all of the turmoil they've lived through. Yes, I DO know... it's DEFINITELY GOD! HE'S sustaining them the same way HE is Link and me. We miss our little man like CRAZY... but GOD is ALWAYS there to pick us up and carry us through! It seems to help me to think of our life as an expectant, (full term) mother would. We enjoy every new day with the family that GOD has already given us, and yet we know that any day any day our "prize" could arrive! YES, the DAY we're ALL TOGETHER in HEAVEN!!!

You know the verse that speaks about storing up your treasures in heaven??? This is exactly how we feel!


Matthew 6:19-21

19 “Don’t store up treasures here on earth, where moths eat them and rust destroys them, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 Store your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. 21 Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.


Friends... our TREASURE IS IN HEAVEN!! Yes, I know this verse means we're not to look at "worldly goods" as our treasures... it means that we're supposed to keep our minds on GOD and the things of GOD. I means we're to LONG FOR HIM! We're ABSOLUTELY LONGING for GOD! The things is... we may not be able to describe any of the treasures that we have in heaven. However, we DO KNOW of one TREASURE that's awaiting us there! This is a treasure that we've held, and kissed, and LOVED with ALL OUR HEARTS! We ABSOLUTELY CANNOT WAIT until we're together again!

Speaking of desiring to be together again... even our little Gabe talks about his own longing to go to heaven. He tell us how he misses Brent, and then he starts to tell us about how beautiful things are in heaven. He'll also say that Brent is SO HAPPY to be there! It's so cute... Gabe will even say things like.... "Brent never gets tired does he?" Or he'll say... "Brent has the BEST TOYS EVER in heaven, right Mom?" (I never really know HOW to answer that one.... I just tell him that GOD has the BEST OF EVERYTHING in heaven and that Brent is LITERALLY HAVING the TIME OF HIS LIFE!)

Zach also talks about missing Brent. He too seems to have an AMAZING understanding of what Brent has GAINED! They don't seem to be focusing on their loss as much as what they know their big brother has WON!

Yes, those last days that GOD gave us were AMAZING! We'll never forget being able to watch and listen as Brent's conversations with our LORD seemed to COMPLETELY transform his way of thinking.

There was a time after we got back to Memphis that Brent began to ask about going home.... but when he saw JESUS he started to ask when could he go HOME!! (Oh yes, he ABSOLUTELY MEANT his heavenly HOME!) Link and I talked with some friends recently and shared how we believe that being able to witness all of that was a gift from GOD. It was one that was given to help us through all of this. I am FOREVER convinced that there is NO pain like that of losing a child! The ONLY thing I can think worse would be if to know that the child that was lost died without JESUS! By this I mean an adult "child." (Or at least old enough to have rejected JESUS) We have the mindset that our children are just NOT SUPPOSED to die before we do... and thankfully a lot of the time that's the way it works. We've had to remind ourselves many times that GOD KNEW that Brent only had 11 years here. (The shock was only to us) We PRAISE GOD with ALL OF OUR HEARTS that Brent KNEW HIM!! We're FOREVER GRATEFUL that our little man had his OWN PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP with JESUS! We're also thankful that we have JESUS in our hearts and here to help us through this. I CANNOT imagine having to go through this without HIM!

Okay... let's talk about something else for a bit..... if I don't I probably won't be able to finish this update.

Oh, I know.... I wanted to say HELLO to all of our nurses scattered across the US! It's been so long since I've talked with any of you and I want to let you know how much we appreciate all you did for our MOST AMAZING little man and our family. We love and miss you all and think of you often!

Hey, did I share from here that I got a Mother's Day card from our medical team in Vermont?? Guys, I'm telling you... GOD surrounded us with the most AMAZING people everywhere we went! Yes, there unfortunately will always be someone working with the public that really shouldn't be there.... but 98 percent of the time we only had WONDERFUL encounters with the medical profession. I PRAISE GOD for the ~LOVE of people~ that HE'S put in the heart of man!

We also met MANY, MANY other fantastic folks along the way! Please don't be offended if I failed to mention anyone or anything.... we TRULY APPRECIATED EVERYTHING that's been done for our family.

Okay... I've kept you all long enough. I'm going to go now and try to get those pictures uploaded to a site so that I can post them here. I PROMISE I'll try to check back soon!

Thank you SOOOO VERY MUCH for being here for us- MOST OF ALL... THANKS for your PRAYERS!!!!!!


We love you,
Tonya





The Fruit of the Spirit
6/11/2007

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.
GALATIANS 5:22-23

"An examination of the fruits of the Spirit can be intimidating. Working all nine of these traits into your life seems impossible, and indeed it is. But the moment you became a Christian, the Holy Spirit began a divine work to produce Christ's character in you. Regardless of who you are, the Spirit works from the same model, Jesus Christ. The Spirit looks to Christ in order to find the blueprint for your character. The Spirit will immediately begin helping you experience and practice the same love that Jesus had when He laid down His life for His friends. The same joy He experienced will now fill you. The identical peace that guarded the heart of Jesus, even as He was being beaten and mocked, will be the peace that the Spirit works to instill in you. The patience Jesus had for His most unreachable disciple will be the patience that the Spirit now develops in you. The kindness Jesus showed toward children and sinners will soften your heart toward others. There will be a goodness about you that is only explainable by the presence of the Spirit of God. The Spirit will build the same faithfulness into you that led Jesus to be entirely obedient to His Father. The Spirit will teach you self-control so that you will have strength to do what is right and to resist temptation.

All of this is as natural as the growth of fruit on a tree. You do not have to orchestrate it on your own. It automatically begins the moment you become a believer. How quickly it happens depends upon how completely you yield yourself to the Holy Spirit's activity."




You can learn more about Dr. Blackaby, his writings, and his ministry at www.blackaby.org, or write:

Blackaby Ministries International
P.O. Box 16338
Atlanta, GA 30321

Tuesday, May 29, 2007 8:09 PM CDT

Hello Friends....

I've been telling myself for DAYS that I need to update, and yet I haven't. I have some fun things to share (and pictures) but I won't be able to do the "real" update tonight. I just hated to let another day pass without checking in. SOOOOOOO... to fill you in quickly we're all doing well. God has been our STRENGHT and our ROCK! HE'S definitely holding us up! Link is working, and when he's not he's spending LOTS of time with the boys and me. Zach and Gabe are being boys (lol) and I'm looking forward to making some happy memories with them this summer.... bless their hearts... they've been through so much.

Thanks A TON for being here for our family and for your prayers! I hope to check in soon with more details and lots of pictures!!!!

Have a BLESSED week!
Love,
Tonya




Every Careless Word
5/29/2007

"""But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak,
they will give account of it in the day of judgment."""
MATTHEW 12:36

"Jesus spoke plainly about our idle words, yet His warning often goes unheeded. Jesus said that for every idle word there will be a time of accounting in the day of judgment. We would expect Jesus to condemn profane and vile uses of the tongue, but idle words? Idle words are things we say carelessly, without concern for their impact on others. We too quickly assume that the sins of our tongue are minor sins, sins that God will overlook. Yet Jesus was fully aware of the devastating nature of our words, for the idle words that come from our mouths give a lucid picture of the condition of our heart (Matt. 15:17-20).

The Book of Proverbs encourages us to speak less rather than risk saying something offensive (Prov. 17:28). Often when we have nothing significant to say we are tempted to speak injurious, idle words. The more time we spend in idle chatter, the greater the likelihood that we will say things that are harmful. James cautioned believers to be ""swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath"" (James 1:19). We are in much less danger of saying something offensive when we are listening than when we are speaking!

Think carefully about the words that come from your mouth. Christians should speak only words that uplift and bring grace to others (Eph. 4:29). Do you need to speak less? Do you need to be more careful about the kind of humor you use? Ask the Holy Spirit to help you evaluate whether your words build up others or whether they destroy and hurt others."






You can learn more about Dr. Blackaby, his writings, and his ministry at www.blackaby.org, or write:

Blackaby Ministries International
P.O. Box 16338
Atlanta, GA 30321


Devotion taken from namb.net

Tuesday, May 15, 2007 9:16 AM CDT

Hello Friends....

It's been SO LONG since I've checked in. I apologize. We've been working really hard trying to finish school and on top of that the boys took turns with a virus last week. Thankfully Link and I never caught it! That's not to say I didn't feel bad for Zach and Gabe (hehe... I did!) but it's just so hard to take care of your family when you're sick yourself.

I also hate that I missed wishing all our moms out there a VERY HAPPY Mother's Day! I also want to thank those of you who wished me one as well. It was a bit hard being so painfully aware that Brent is no longer here with us. How can we not be comforted knowing that he's no longer in pain and that we will see him again one day? (Hopefully SOON!) I had several people to tell me that they were especially burdened to pray for me on Sunday and I want to thank you for it! Your prayers were DEFINITELY felt... thank you, THANK YOU!

There's not a whole lot to tell right now. We're taking one day at a time and enjoying each beautiful moment spent with our family. We're still not in church (at least not CHURCH as everyone knows it) but we are taking part in Bible study with some friends. God has been so merciful in holding us up and carrying us through each and every day. Although we aren't doing things the traditional way, it's still great to be in the presence of other believers worshiping our LORD.

Hopefully sometime this week we'll get some pictures posted of the boys. They're changing so much, SO QUICKLY that it's just unbelievable!

Okay, I'll wrap it up for now. Thank you again for checking in on us and for keeping our family in your prayers. You guys have been AMAZING!!


We love you,
Tonya




Iron Sharpens Iron
5/15/2007

"As iron sharpens iron,
So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend."
PROVERBS 27:17

"The Christian life is a pilgrimage. At times the road is difficult, and we get lonely. Sometimes we may become discouraged and consider abandoning the journey. It is at such times that God will place a friend alongside us. One of God's most precious gifts to us are friends who encourage us and lovingly challenge us to ""keep going.""

According to Scripture, a friend is one who challenges you to become all that God intends. Jonathan could have succeeded his father to become the next king of Israel. But he loved his friend David, and he encouraged him to follow God's will, even though it meant Jonathan would forfeit his own claim to the throne (1 Sam. 19:1-7).

The mark of biblical friends is that their friendship draws you closer to Christ. They ""sharpen"" you and motivate you to do what is right. True friends tell you the truth and even risk hurting your feelings because they love you and have your best interests at heart (Prov. 27:6).

Be careful in your choice of friends! Jesus chose His closest friends wisely. He did not look for perfect friends, but friends whose hearts were set to follow God. It is equally important to examine the kind of friend you are to others. As a friend, it is your duty to put the needs of others first (Prov. 17:17). Strive to find godly friends who will challenge you to become the person God desires. When you have found them, be receptive to the way God uses them to help you become spiritually mature. Strive also to be the kind of friend that helps others become more like Christ."






You can learn more about Dr. Blackaby, his writings, and his ministry at www.blackaby.org, or write:

Blackaby Ministries International
P.O. Box 16338
Atlanta, GA 30321

Thursday, May 3, 2007 10:25 AM CDT

Trust and Obey

Whether it is pleasing or displeasing, we will obey the voice of the Lord our God.
Jeremiah 42:6

Recommended Reading
Hebrews 11:7-9


We can all agree that sometimes the things God calls us to do don't make sense to us, and it can be difficult from a human perspective to trust Him for the outcome of something that we don't understand. But all throughout the Word of God, as in the story of Noah and the ark, we are told that the result of trusting the Lord and obeying His commands is blessing. A beloved hymn reminds us of that truth.

Then in fellowship sweet we will sit at His feet,
or we'll walk by His side in the way;
what He says we will do, where He sends we will go;
never fear, only trust and obey. (John H. Sammis)

It sounds so simple; but when we are in the midst of an assignment from God and we cannot see past our present situation, it is easy to fear, to doubt, to want to give up. Take heart fellow Christians; God sees past this moment and into eternity, and He is waiting to show you the blessed outcome of your obedience.

It is His business to lead, command, impel, send, call or whatever you want to call it. It is your business to obey, follow, move, respond or what have you.
Jim Elliot

Read-Thru-the-Bible
1 Chronicles 26:1 - 28:21

Hello Friends...

I received yet another devotion that spoke volumes to me so I decided to start this update with it. There is just so much TRUTH in that devotion. It IS INCREDIBLY hard to sit still and wait on GOD. I believe the greatest COMFORT to us is knowing that no matter what - GOD'S will is BEST! HIS will is best even when it tears our hearts out. (I'm referring to losing Brent of course) As bad as things were... who knows what GOD spared him from later in life?? As we know, we were all created for a purpose. Brent's purpose was fulfilled in 11 years. What an AMAZING testimony GOD gave him! I'm sure there will never be a day that goes by that we won't think of him, or miss him... but what an AWESOME thing to KNOW that he's looking into the VERY FACE of his CREATOR! It's also wonderful to know that he's no longer hurting. He now KNOWS JOY beyond human description!

As I've talked about Brent being in the very presence of his CREATOR... It reminds me that there is something else that I've been just 'itching' to share! Before I do I'll give you a little background info. (You know how bad I am about over-explaining things) Okay... so we're subscribed to the magazine "Answers in Genesis." In it I discovered that they have their own Science curriculum. I've always been intrigued by the magazine and newsletter so I became VERY EXCITED about the new books! I ordered them to use for Zach & Gabe next year. I've started looking over "The Animal Kingdom" and in the first few pages I found why we KNOW evolution is NOT the TRUTH! I'll warn you... it's a little lengthy, but it's VERY INTERESTING!



Evolutionary Myth: Humans have been around for more than one million years.
The Truth: If people have been on earth for a million years, there would be trillions of people on the earth today, even if we allowed for worst-case plagues, natural disasters, etc. The number of people on earth today is about 6.5 billion. If the population had grown at only a 0.o1 percent rate (today's rate is over 1 percent) over 1 million years, there could be 10 (with 43 zeros after it) people today! Repopulating the earth after the Flood would only require a population growth rate of 0.5 percent, half of what is today. (2)

Evolutionary Myth: Man evolved from an ape-like creature.
The Truth: All so-called "missing links" showing man evolution from apes have been shown to be either apes, humans or deliberate hoaxes. These links remain missing. (3)

Evolutionary Myth: All animals evolved from lower life forms. Darwin stated that transitional fossils would be discovered to show the chain of evolution.
The Truth: While Darwin predicted that the fossil record would show numerous transitional fossils, even 145 years later, all we have are a handful of disputable examples. For example, there are no fossils showing something that is part way between a dinosaur and a bird, a fish and an amphibian or a reptile and a mammal. (4)

Evolutionary Myth: Dinosaurs evolved into birds.
The Truth: Flying birds have streamlined bodies, with the weight centralized for balance in flight; hollow bones for lightness, which are also part of their breathing system; powerful muscles for flight; and very sharp vision. Birds also have two of the most brilliantly-designed structures in nature-their feathers and special lungs. It is impossible to believe that a reptile could make that many changes over time and still survive. (5)

Evolutionary Myth: Thousands of chance changes over millions of years resulted in the living creatures we see today.
The Truth: What is now known about human and animal anatomy shows the body structures, from the cells to systems, to be infinitely more complex than was believed when Darwin published his work in 1859. Many biologists and especially microbiologists are now saying that there is no way these complex structures could have developed by natural process. (6)



Since the evidence does not support their theories, evolutionists are constantly coming up with new ways to try to support what they believe. One of their ideas is called punctuated equilibrium. This theory of evolution says that rapid evolution occurred in small isolated populations, and left no evidence in the fossil record. There is no evidence for this., nor any known mechanism to cause these rapid changes. Rather, it is merely wishful thinking. We need to each our children the difference between science and wishful thinking.

Despite the claims of many scientists, if you examine the evidence objectively, it is obvious that evolution and millions of years has not been proven. You can be confident that if you teach that what the Bible says is true, you won't go wrong. Instill in your child a confidence in the truth of the Bible in all areas. If scientific thought seems to contradict the Bible, realize that scientists often makes mistakes, but GOD does not lie. At one time scientists believed that the earth was the center of the universe, that living things could spring from non-living things and that blood-letting was good for the body. All of these things were believed to be scientific facts but have since been disproved, but the Word of God remains true. If we use modern "science" to interpret the Bible, what will happen to our faith in God's Word when scientists change their theories yet again?





(2) John D. Morris, Ph.D., The Young Earth, (Colorado Springs: Creation Life Publishers, 1994), 70-71. See also www.AnswersInGenesis.org/go/people

(3) Duane T. Gish, Ph.D. The Amazing Story of Creation from Science and the Bible, (El Cajon: Institute for Creation Research, 1990), 78-83.

(4) Ibid., 36, 53-60. See also www.AnswersInGenesis.org/go/missing-links

(5) Gregory Parker et. al., Biology: God's Living Creation, (Pensacola: A Beka Books, 1977) 474-475.

(6) Ibid. 384-385





Pretty cool huh??? Don't worry... I won't share EVERY lesson we cover next year. (hehehe) I've wondered since growing in my walk with God how much of what I learned about our world in school was the truth. I'm TERRIBLY EXCITED to "learn" all of this with the boys! As far as Darwin is concerned.... if he could tell us anything now... he'd SHOUT there IS INDEED a GOD and he'd BEG us to accept JESUS!

Okay.... to move on with the update.... I wanted to remember to say THANKS to those of you who've sent the boys cards and gifts in recent weeks. They LOVE it when they get mail and/or packages!! I THINK that I've been trying to keep up with recognizing those of you who go out of your way to bless our family. At least I've tried. You have all been SO GOOD to us and I'm just TERRIBLE at sending out "thank you notes!" Please overlook where I lack good manners, and rest assured that EACH AND EVERY effort has been noticed and MUCH APPRECIATED! You guys really are THE BEST! As always.... we especially appreciate your PRAYERS!

Alrighty... since this update is as long or longer than any of the longest before it... I'll wrap it up. Thank you SOOOOO MUCH for keeping up with our family and for the many prayers you've lifted on our behalf. You'll never know what a blessing you've been!


We love you,
Tonya

PS... Please allow me to add a disclaimer to what I shared from the text book above. If you see a misspelled word, or something that just doesn't sound quite right... just remember who typed this update!



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The Joy of Christ
5/3/2007

"""But now I come to You, and these things I speak in the world,
that they may have My joy fulfilled in themselves."""
JOHN 17:13

"If there is anything that ought to characterize the life of a Christian, it is joy! Jesus spoke many times to His disciples about His joy being complete and full in them. His disciples were filled with joy as they realized who they were: children of God and joint heirs with Christ (Rom. 8:16-17). They had been dead in their sins but were now made alive in Christ (Rom. 6:4). They had once been helpless victims of death, but now death had no hold over them (1 Cor. 15:55-58). With such a marvelous salvation experience with Christ, how could the disciples be anything less than joyful?

Don't deny yourself that which is your birthright as a child of God. Don't be satisfied with a joyless life. There ought to be in every Christian a deep, settled fullness of the joy of Christ that no circumstance of life can dispel. This comes as you allow the Holy Spirit to express Himself in your life. One of the fruits of the Spirit is joy (Gal. 5:22). This joy is unlike any happiness that is produced by the world. It fills you and permeates everything you do.

Jesus did not pray that you would merely be happy or even that you would escape grief. He prayed that you would have the same joy that the Father had given Him: a divine joy, a joy that comes from a deep and unwavering relationship with the Father. It is a joy that is grounded so firmly in a relationship with God that no change in circumstances could ever shake it. This is the kind of joy that Christ is praying will be in you."






You can learn more about Dr. Blackaby, his writings, and his ministry at www.blackaby.org, or write:

Blackaby Ministries International
P.O. Box 16338
Atlanta, GA 30321




Devotion was taken from namb.net

Wednesday, May 2, 2007 11:07 AM CDT

Hello Friends...

I came to post a video Zach made yesterday of our newest baby. The little guy seems to be ticklish... you can HEAR him laughing! It's TOO FUNNY! Yes, I KNOW I sound ridiculous baby talking him... but as I said just below the video... he's too cute not to! Hehehe!!!

I hope to be back later today to do a full update... if not I'll try tomorrow. I can hardly believe that I've updated FOUR times in a week! Well, sort of! LOL!

I hope you're having a great week! I'll talk to you soon.


We love you,
Tonya

PS.... I posted the one of the puppy but I can't control what other videos they display after ours has finished. It should be another "pet video" since that's how I listed this one. All the same, consider yourself WARNED! Some people post some really terrible things on YouTube.







Saturday, April 28, 2007 8:05 AM CDT

Hello Friends....

I thought I'd check in to share another 'something that I read' this week. I picked up my copy of "STREAMS IN THE DESERT" yesterday while thinking how these devotions are always so fitting. Out of curiosity I decided to look to Jan. 2. (That's the day Brent got his healing in HEAVEN) He left us so early that morning so for obvious reasons I never read the devotion for that day. Okay.... I'll stop telling you about it and share it.

January 2

The side rooms all around the temple were wider at each successive level. The structure surrounding the temple was built in ascending stages, so that the rooms widened as one went upward. A stairway went up from the lowest floor to the top floor through the middle floor. (Ezekiel 41:7)

Still upward be your onward course:
For this I pray today;
Still upward as the years go by,
And seasons pass away.

Still upward in this coming year,
Your path is all untried;
Still upward may you journey on,
Close by your Savior's side.

Still upward although sorrow come,
And trials crush your heart;
Still upward may they draw your soul,
With Christ to walk apart.

Still upward till the day shall break,
And shadows all have flown;
Still upward till in Heaven you wake,
And stand before the throne.


We should never be content to rest in the mists of the valley when the summit of Mount Tabor awaits us. How pure is the dew of the hills, how fresh is the mountain air, how rich the food and drink of those who dwell above, whose windows look into the New Jerusalem! Many saints are content to live like people in coal mines, who never see the sun. Tears sadden their faces when they could be anointed with heavenly oil. I am convinced that many believers suffer in a dungeon when they could walk on a palace roof, viewing the lush landscape and Lebanon. Wake up, believers, from your lowly condition! Throw away your laziness, sluggishness, coldness, or whatever is interfering with your pure love for Christ. Make Him the Source, the Center, and the One who encompasses every delight of your soul. Refuse to be satisfied any longer with your meager accomplishments. Aspire to a higher, a nobler, and a fuller life. Upward to heaven! Nearer to God! Charles H. Spurgeon

I want to scale the utmost height,
And catch a gleam of glory bright;
But still I'll pray, till heaven I've found,
Lord, lead me on to higher ground!


Not many of us are living at our best. We linger in the lowlands because we are afraid to climb the mountains. The steepness and ruggedness discourage us, so we stay in the mist of the valleys and never learn the mysteries of the hills. We do not know what is lost by our self-indulgence, what glory awaits if we only have the courage to climb, or what blessings we will find if we only ascend the mountains of God! J. R. M.

Too low they build who build beneath the stars.

Pretty neat huh??? As I reflected on what this devotion would've meant to us on that day, I also try to pull from it what GOD has for us now. I am ENCOURAGED that we should "press on" and to be busy about living out the BEST LIFE that GOD has for us. I know that far too many times I've taken my eyes off HIM only to find myself in a mess! There is no greater joy, no truer joy than to be walking with JESUS. I read something in a devotion the other day (not sure if I shared it with you here) and it encouraged us to find our JOY in JESUS. The reason given was that if we look to anyone, or anything for our happiness- and we lose them/it - then our joy will also be lost. If, however, we look to JESUS for our JOY, HOPE, STRENGTH.... we will never be shaken! That's not to say that it's wrong to love. Of course it's not! I think the point being made was that we shouldn't depend on anyone or thing to fulfill us in the way that only JESUS can. I just LOVE how GOD'S WORD is ALWAYS RIGHT ON TIME!

Okay, I'll stop my rambling now. This was one of those times that I got so excited about what I'd found and wanted to come and share it with you!

To fill you in quickly on us..... we're spending lots of time lovin on the boys! We're doing lots of fishing and riding go-carts. The boys have been very busy playing and are VERY EXCITED about summer break! We're also striving to make certain that they too will have same love for GOD that their AWESOME big brother had. Ensuring that they have their own relationship with Christ is NOT an area I want to fail them in!! We will continue to grieve the loss of our MOST PRECIOUS Brent, but I hope that we strive in everything we do to point EVERYTHING back to GOD!


Alrighty... I didn't mean to keep you.... just wanted you share with you what I'd found. I hope you've all had a great week. Thanks SO MUCH for checking in on us and for keeping us in your prayers!!


We love you,
Tonya



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Jesus Is Your Door
4/28/2007

"""I am the door. If anyone enters by Me, he will be saved,
and will go in and out and find pasture."""
JOHN 10:9



"As Christians, we talk about God ""opening doors"" to us as a means of His revealing His will. What we are asking God to do is engineer our circumstances to match what we think would be best. The problem is that we misunderstand what the door is. Jesus said He is the door. Circumstances are irrelevant, for no one can shut the door that Jesus opens (Rev. 3:8). If you have substituted activity for your relationship with Christ, then circumstances can disrupt your activity. When the activity is hindered, you may assume the door has been closed. Yet, if Christ is the door in your life, He will guide you into every experience of Him that He wants, and there will be nothing that people can do to stop Him.

When Paul and Silas were thrown into prison at Philippi, it appeared that the door to their ministry in Greece had been violently and firmly closed (Acts 16:22-24). The reality of their situation, however, was that their Lord had opened a door of ministry to a previously unreached group of men in prison. The Philippian jailer and his household would become a significant nucleus of the new church in Philippi. From a human perspective, a door had been closed; from God's perspective, Paul and Silas continued to minister exactly where God wanted them to.

When people oppose us, we can become discouraged or worry about what others are doing to us. We may even try to take matters into our own hands to accomplish what we think God wants. This reveals that we do not really believe Jesus is the door for our lives. If we did, we would be assured that through Christ we have access to everything He wants to do in and through us."






You can learn more about Dr. Blackaby, his writings, and his ministry at www.blackaby.org, or write:

Blackaby Ministries International
P.O. Box 16338
Atlanta, GA 30321











Thursday, April 26, 2007 9:53 AM CDT

Morning Friends....

Can you believe I've checked back TWO days in a row??? I'm shocked myself! He he he... Well, the reason for checking back already was twofold. The first is that I got a devotion in the mail that I wanted to share with you... the other was to tell you that I've updated the online Bible study TWO days in a row! Can you BELIEVE IT??? Granted, the study is probably NOT what one would consider "deep," but isn't it better to read GOD'S WORD than what someone else has to say about it? With that said, the study IS simple, but it was started in order to help others learn to study the BIBLE. There were a few ladies who emailed me asking how to study the Bible. Our friend (who is also a pastor) said that a really good way to study the Bible is to stop and break down what you're reading. Ask yourself questions about what you're reading rather than skimming over it. (I'm SO GUILTY of doing that! I don't know how many times I've sat and went through the motions and ended up not REALLY getting anything from it. MY FAULT! I admit it!!) Again, the point is to get INTO THE WORD! We can never have our own DEEP, PERSONAL relationship with God if we don't spend time with HIM in prayer and in HIS WORD. (I don't mean to sound "preachy".... just trying to help those who've asked for it)

Now, as for the devotion.... I thought it was WONDERFUL! I signed up for it by going to turningpointonline.org you can sign up too! I LOVE to listen to Dr. David Jeremiah! He's one of those "straight shooting" preachers. I tend to be turned off by those who teach that GOD wants nothing but blessings for you, or that NOTHING bad will ever happen. God's Word just doesn't tell it that way. We've learned a lot of that the hard way. (Even so much that it caused us to question what we believed about God when we lost Brent) PRAISE GOD for those who don't care if we like what they're saying! It's all good so long as they preach THE TRUTH! (God's Word in it's entirety, not taken out of context) WHOOPS.... I'll get off my soapbox and share the devotion now.

Choice Thoughts

Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.
Philippians 4:8

Recommended Reading
Psalm 1:1-3



A sleeping dog makes noises and his legs twitch—he's dreaming, just like we do. In that sense, animals share cognitive similarity. But try handing your dog a list of house rules and asking him to think about them, and you'll get the proverbial cocked head and blank stare.

Human beings are the only part of God's creation that can be told to think about good things. Not that we always do—we often allow our minds to drift and wander and dwell upon random thoughts that come to us without our bidding. But we do have the ability to discipline our minds to think about the kinds of things Paul suggests: truth, matters noble and just, pure and lovely things, things that come highly recommended, virtuous and praiseworthy things. When we consider how few of those kinds of things would come to us "accidentally," it means we must be proactive in choosing what we think about.

Your mind is a gift from God. Using it wisely is a means of expressing love for Him (Mark 12:30).


[Bring] every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.
Paul

Read-Thru-the-Bible
1 Chronicles 4:1 - 6:48

Okay... that's about it. (You're thinking that's ENOUGH right? He he) I'll leave you with the update from yesterday. Thanks SO MUCH for checking in and for your prayers!!!!



We love you,

Tonya



(I'm only just now reading the devotion written by Dr. Blackaby. Ouch... it by the looks it God may be trying to tell me something... I can't believe it's almost EXACTLY what the devotion about is saying)




Contentment

4/26/2007

"Not that I speak from want; for I have learned
to be content in whatever circumstances I am."
PHILIPPIANS 4:11 (NASB)


"Our world promotes dissatisfaction with our lives. We are constantly bombarded with newer and better things that will make our lives more complete if only we would obtain them! If we listen to the world, we will always be comparing the lifestyles and possessions of others with our own, and we will always be dissatisfied. If our contentment comes from possessions, activities, or other people, these can be altered or removed. If our contentment comes from our relationship with Christ, there is absolutely nothing that can take that away.

Paul had enjoyed power and status among his people. He had also been imprisoned and bound in stocks in the depths of a jail cell. He had stood before a king and been stoned almost to death by an angry mob. Paul had enjoyed the benefits and pleasures of life, yet he could give them all up and still be filled with the joy of the Lord. His contentment did not depend on his environment but on his relationship with Christ.

Contentment frees you to enjoy every good thing God has given you. Contentment demonstrates your belief that God loves you and has your best interest in mind. Discontent stems from the sin of ingratitude and a lack of faith that God loves you enough to provide for all that you need. Strive to be grateful for all that God has given you. A grateful heart has no room for envy."


You can learn more about Dr. Blackaby, his writings, and his ministry at www.blackaby.org, or write:

Blackaby Ministries International
P.O. Box 16338
Atlanta, GA 30321



Devotion taken from namb.net

You may now return to your regularly scheduled update already in progress...




Wednesday, April 25, 2007 5:41 AM CDT

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Shannon! We hope you have a GREAT ONE!

(Shannon is my sister's husband, his birthday is Saturday, April 28)

Usefulness in Life

This woman was full of good works and charitable deeds which she did.
Acts 9:36

Recommended Reading
Acts 9:38-42


When Cyrus McCormick, inventor of the reaper, died in 1884, he left a fortune for his widow, Nettie. With the money, she established a theological seminary in Chicago, enabled John R. Mott to go to the ends of the earth to organize student missions, and supported the evangelistic campaigns of D. L. Moody. Please pray for Turning Point’s first rally in the United Kingdom. It will be held on April 20th in London at 7pm London time.

She backed Wilfred Grenfell, missionary to Labrador, and George Livingstone Robinson, archaeologist to Petra. She funded educational efforts in Appalachia.

She absorbed herself in Asian missions, and her house off Michigan Avenue in Chicago became a Christian halfway house between the Orient and the West, always full of missionaries and overseas Christians.

She improved the water supply in one country, provided a hospital in another, and a Christian college in another. She built a women's clinic in Persia and a seminary in Korea. She sent agricultural machines to India.

She did it all in the name of Christ.

Not every woman inherits such a fortune, but Christian history has been transformed again and again by women with a passion for Christ. Are you full of good works and charitable deeds, done in the Savior's name?


Usefulness is the great thing in life—to do something for others leaves a sweeter odor than a life of pleasure.
Nettie McCormick

Read-Thru-the-Bible
2 Kings 12:1 - 15:16

Devotion was taken from email received from TurningPointonline.org



Hello Friends...

I thought I'd start out with this devotion because it spoke so loudly to me. What an AWESOME, SELFLESS thing this lady did! To take a fortune left by her husband and use it to further GOD'S Kingdom. I can't say that I'd have been so generous. (It was quite convicting to me) Anyway... I hoped it'd bless you too!

Okay, I've been so excited to come and share this little story with you... for whatever reason I'm only just now updating. The other day Gabe came running in the house shouting (with excitement).... "Look, I found a Brent rock.... I found a Brent rock!" We couldn't stand the curiosity. We were wondering what in the world made a ROCK remind Gabe of Brent. Hopefully now YOUR curiosity is building.... okay, scroll down and check this rock out. We had NOTHING to do with this..... It's just CRACKS in the rock........







Did you see the letter "B?" Pretty cool huh?? Needless to say, it makes us very happy that Gabe is being reminded of his big brother through something as common as a rock. He's so young... I sure hope he won't ever forget Brent. It's funny how even a child's "doodling" can bless our hearts. One little girl at our Bible study made a picture of our family for us and she included Brent! I was SO HAPPY that she still "sees him" as a part of our family. Another of his friends had written his name right along with some other things he was drawing.... Is it strange that these things make me happy?

On another note.... the boys are doing AMAZINGLY well with handling things. Zach will say that he misses Brent, but that he knows how happy Brent must be now. He's commented that we just have to be strong and one day soon we will see him again. (Now, I've assured him that it's OKAY to cry, or talk, or whatever he feels like he needs to do to grieve)

Gabe, on the other hand is VERY open and talks/cries/celebrates (even) his big brother. He said the cutest thing a week or so ago. He told me he wants to go into the military when he grows up. I encouraged him to think about what a big responsibility that is, how very VERY dangerous it can be. Gabe's response??? "It doesn't matter if I die... then I'll be with Jesus and Brent!" (This is our 6 year old with his voice just as casual as anything.... no fear of dying, no apprehension) It simply amazes me how GOD has guarded their little hearts (and minds) through this whole thing. I don't know why it should surprise me... I KNOW what a LOVING GOD we serve!

Link and I are still staying busy. It seems that the days that are the hardest are the ones filled with too much TIME! Again, GOD has been SO GOOD and SO MERCIFUL with us!! Our LORD is DEFINITELY the ONE holding us up!

As for what we're doing... well, Link is still working and the boys & I are still trying to wrap up our school year. As the weather warms up it gets harder to keep them inside. :) I have to admit.... I think we're all looking forward to SUMMER BREAK! (Just don't tell them... I'm trying really hard to convince them that school is FUN! He he he)

Okay, I won't keep you any longer. I've been working on this update for DAYS and I'm afraid if I don't wrap it up now something else will come up and I'll have to leave it yet again for another time.

THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH for keeping watch over our family!

We love you...
Tonya



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Abide in the Vine
4/25/2007
"I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for apart from Me you can do nothing."
JOHN 15:5


"There are those who feel that they must be constantly laboring for the Lord in order to meet God's high standards. Jesus gave a clear picture of what our relationship to Him ought to be like. He is the vine, the source of our life. We are the branches, the place where fruit is produced. As we receive life from Christ, the natural, inevitable result is that fruit is produced in our lives.

In our zeal to produce ""results"" for our Lord, we sometimes become so intent on fruit production that we neglect abiding in Christ. We may feel that ""abiding"" is not as productive or that it takes too much time away from our fruit production. Yet Jesus said that it is not our activity that produces fruit, it is our relationship with Him.

Jesus gave an important warning to His disciples. He cautioned that if they ever attempted to live their Christian life apart from an intimate relationship with Him, they would discover that they ceased to produce any significant results. They might exert great effort for the kingdom of God, yet when they stopped to account for their lives, they would find only barrenness. One of the most dramatic acts Jesus ever performed was cursing a fig tree that had failed to produce fruit (Mark 11:14). Are you comfortable in abiding, or are you impatient to be engaged in activity? If you will remain steadfastly in fellowship with Jesus, a great harvest will be the natural by-product."






You can learn more about Dr. Blackaby, his writings, and his ministry at www.blackaby.org, or write:

Blackaby Ministries International
P.O. Box 16338
Atlanta, GA 30321



Devotion taken from NAMB.NET

Thursday, April 12, 2007 12:53 AM CDT

Happy Birthday Brad Tomlinson!!

(He was my VERY BEST friend in high school... his wife (Chrissy) and their family have been a great support to our family. His birthday is today!)

Happy Birthday, Mr. Sam, WE LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!

(His birthday is April 19)

We also need to wish Uncle Jason a belated Happy Birthday!

(His was April 11)

Wednesday, April 4, 2007 10:49 AM CDT

Happy Birthday Kerry!!!!!

(April 5) What can I say? My sister has been my VERY BEST GIRL-FRIEND for as long as I can remember! She was partner in crime when we were little, and she helped deepen my relationship with Christ as we grew older. I couldn't be any more blessed than to have a sister like HER! (I LOVE YOU, Kerry, but don't tell anyone I said so! He he he)

Happy Birthday Mrs. Barbara!!

(April 6) I've been truly blessed to have such amazing in-laws! We hope you have a GREAT birthday!! We love You!!

Hello Friends....

It's been so long since we've "talked" that I don't really know where to begin. I guess I'll just back WAY up and start filling you in from there. I think in the last update I told you that we'd had a nice weekend. Well, one of our AWESOME nurses from St. Jude came down and spent the weekend. I guess it's been about 2 weeks since she was here. (Has it really been that long since I updated?) If you guessed it was Joni, you'd be correct. It's been such a blessing to keep in touch with those wonderful ladies. As for Joni, well, we share a lot of laughs as well as deep conversation. God has been so good to send people into our lives just when we need them most. For those of you who've suffered such a great loss as we have, you KNOW how quiet things become within weeks of coming home. It's during these quiet times that reality sets in and you become painfully aware that there is someone missing. That's not to say that we'd not know if we had people around 24/7. OF COURSE WE WOULD! I'm just saying that as we along with everyone else have settled back into a "normal" life it's easy to see how VERY MUCH we miss our boy. The weekends are definitely the hardest. During the week we sort of hit the ground running with these long lists of things to do each day, but on the weekends there's just too much time to think. As I mentioned just a few minutes ago, EVERY day is a struggle. Brent was ALWAYS with me.... he was my best friend and there was NEVER a time when we weren't together. (Okay, they DID sleep away from home sometimes but they were never in daycare or school, or gone for any length of time) I'm not saying that we loved him more than the other two, just that he was old enough to be my friend as well as one of my precious sons. I find myself purposefully trying to keep busy and trying not to think too much. It also seems to help when I think of him as "away" and not GONE. You know, it'd be a TERRIBLE thing if we weren't promised an eternity with Christ. Yes, first and foremost it's AWESOME to know that one day we'll be looking into the very face of GOD. It's also a TREMENDOUS help to know that one day we'll be reunited with our precious little man. God is SO VERY GOOD to us! He allows us to come to HIM and pour our hearts out. Then he lifts us up and holds us close and wipes our tears away. It's SO AMAZING to me to know that GOD even keeps record of our tears!

Psalm 56:8-

You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.


While I'm on the subject of God, I have some things I need to "fess up" about. I want to say that after losing Brent, and as time went on, I'd sort of "moved away" from GOD. I'm not saying I'd rejected HIM, just that I'd sort of been doing the wayward child thing. (I haven't gone and done anything bad, I've just been about myself and not about HIM)

We were told so many things about GOD, faith and how to believe when Brent was sick by so many people. We not only tried every PHYSICAL thing we could do.... we also tried to go to every extreme within our faith to have him healed. We even had some to tell us that if we "believed enough" Brent would be healed. That sort of put the burden on us to heal him and took it off of GOD. The truth remains that GOD is SOVEREIGN and HE does what's best-within HIS time and HIS will. We KNEW that we should pray HIS will, and we also knew what the Bible said about healing. Somewhere along the line our faith almost became as "works" and when we lost Brent we didn't know what to do. I can't speak for Link, but I know that I wondered if MY faith wasn't strong enough to heal Brent. You know, I felt like it was my fault that he died. I suppose we were so DESPERATE to keep him that we sort of went EVERYWHERE with our beliefs. I'm going around the world to tell you that somewhere along the way (since we lost Brent) I took my eyes off GOD. I'm not saying I stopped believing in HIM, that I didn't trust HIM, or LOVE HIM.... I'm just saying that I sort of got out of the WORD. I didn't realize how bad it was until the other night at a Bible study a song we sang cut my heart and brought conviction to my soul. It was then that I saw that I'd stopped praising GOD in the storm. When we stop praising HIM it becomes so easy to start to feel sorry for ourselves and to drift away. I'm happy to say that I'm back in the WORD and I'm DESIRING GOD to FILL me UP with HIMSELF. I know there is NO WAY to handle grief like this without HIM. I hope that my admitting that I was struggling before, and even admitting some anger that I had didn't cause anyone to stumble in their walk. Before I get off this subject completely.... I'd like to share the lyrics to this song with you. It's called "I Bless Your Name" and it's by Selah.

In prisoners' chains
With bleeding stripes
Paul and Silas prayed that night
And in their pain began to sing
Their chains were loosed
And they were free
I bless Your Name
I bless Your Name
I give You honor, give You praise
You are the Life, the Truth, the Way
I bless Your Name
I bless Your Name

Some midnight hour
If you should find
You're in a prison in your mind
Reach out and praise
Defy those chains
And they will fall
In Jesus' Name

We bless Your Name
We bless Your Name
We give You honor, give You praise
You are the Life, the Truth, the Way
We bless Your Name
We bless Your Name

You are the Life, the Truth, the Way
We bless Your Name
We bless Your Name

Okay.... on to something else. We have another family within our church who's battling cancer. They've been so faithful to pray for us and encourage us and I'd like to mention them as a prayer need. Mr. Wilbur and Mrs. Sheila were so kind to sign the guestbook.... Brent always LOVED to read his messages, or to have me read them to him. We know firsthand how much encouragement from others can mean at a time like this. If you have a minute, and would like to, stop in and let them know you're praying. Mr. Wilbur's site is caringbridge.org/visit/whuffman

Also, there was a lady who emailed and asked that we pray for her nephew. He's one of our AMAZING TROOPS and his Humvee was hit by an IED in Iraq. His family has set up a site for him. I'm HONORED to be able to do something for one of America's finest! You can find his site at caringbridge.org/visit/sgtshiloharris


Now, you know I can't mention prayer requests without mentioning our buddy Jordan Amato. He's got tests this week and we're praying HARD for some AMAZING results! Please remember to pray that Jordan will be really still and the pictures will be PERFECT! Jordan has had a lot of movement while he's "under" and the pictures thus far have been blurred. We're standing with you, Susan!!

What am I forgetting?? Oh, I know! I've been answering email and realized yesterday that my AOL account only "holds" them for so long, then it starts deleting the mail. Here I thought I was making a lot of progress answering mail, and all it was ..... was the computer DELETING my mail! UGGGGGGHHHHHHH! If any of you have emailed me with a question that needed an answer and you've not heard from me... please resend it. I know that at least one lady had emailed me about home-schooling. I guess I brought it on myself huh?? Anyway.... if you DID email me with a question and didn't get a response feel free to write me back. It seems like there's something else I'm supposed to tell you, but right now I can't remember what it is.

OOHHHHHHH.... I'm also forgetting to mention the Horrocks family came down to visit. They are SO PRECIOUS to us! I've got some pictures I'll share later if I get permission from Mark & Mylissa. (They're just too cute) I also have a story to tell about them being here, but I'll get permission for that too. This update is LONG ENOUGH for one day. Amen?? HE HE HE!

Thanks SOOOOO MUCH for checking in and for your prayers. You'll never know what you mean to us.


We LOVE YOU,
Tonya




Fresh Encounters with Christ
4/4/2007

That which we have seen and heard we declare to you, that you also may have fellowship with us; and truly our fellowship is with the Father and with His Son Jesus Christ. And these things we write to you that your joy may be full.
I JOHN 1:3-4


"John the apostle never ceased to marvel at the life changing relationship he enjoyed with his Lord. It overwhelmed him to know that, at a particular time in history, the God of the universe chose to have fellowship with him, a simple fisherman. John was so overjoyed that he earnestly wanted to share his joy with others so they, too, might experience the same joy. A special fellowship or ""bonding"" developed between those who had personally encountered Christ as they rejoiced together at God's goodness to them.

Those around you desperately need to be encouraged by your latest encounter with Christ. Some have lost hope that they can experience the reality of God's presence in their lives. They don't need your philosophies or theological speculations. They don't need to hear your opinions on what they should do. They need to hear from someone who has just come from a personal, life-changing encounter with the living Christ. When you have had such an experience you will be like the apostle John, hardly able to contain yourself as you rush out to tell others of your amazing encounter with God. Your responsibility will not be to convince others of the reality of God, but simply to bear witness to what your Lord has said and done for you. The change in your life will be your greatest testimony of your relationship to Christ. There is nothing more appealing or convincing to a watching world than to hear the testimony of someone who has just been with Jesus."









You can learn more about Dr. Blackaby, his writings, and his ministry at www.blackaby.org, or write:

Blackaby Ministries International
P.O. Box 16338
Atlanta, GA 30321




Going Farther with God
3/24/2007

"He went a little farther, and fell on the ground,
and prayed."
MARK 14:35


"Some Christians are satisfied to have only a surface relationship with Christ. Others desire to share the holiest moments with Him. On the night Jesus spent in sacred prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane, the people responded to Him in various ways. There were those who were so indifferent to Jesus that they were unaware He was even in the garden. Then there was Judas, who knew where Jesus was but was too busy with his own schemes to join Him. The rest of the disciples joined Jesus in the garden, but they were distracted by sleep. Jesus told them the urgency of the hour, but they did not comprehend it. There was the inner circle of disciples, Peter, James, and John. They initially prayed with Jesus, yet even they could not grasp the significance of the moment. Ultimately, Jesus prayed alone. He went farther than His disciples and prayed longer. At the greatest moment of intercession in human history, there was no one willing to go with Jesus and watch with Him.

Throughout history God has looked for those willing to yield everything to Him and His desire to redeem a world. At times God has marveled that no one was willing to go with Him (Isa. 63:5; 59:16). The prophets seemed to grasp more than the common people, for while society carried on as though nothing were wrong the prophets agonized and wept over what they knew God was preparing to do.

God is calling you to go deeper in your prayer life with Him. If you are willing to be the person Jesus can take with Him into the most sacred moments, you will experience things only the angels shared with Jesus in the garden that night."






You can learn more about Dr. Blackaby, his writings, and his ministry at www.blackaby.org, or write:

Blackaby Ministries International
P.O. Box 16338
Atlanta, GA 30321



Devotion taken from NAMB.NET

Tuesday, March 27, 2007 7:43 AM CDT

Morning Friends....

I wanted to check in quickly to say that I've FINALLY updated the blog with 3 questions out of John 8. I hope to do more later today, but with my track record of saying I'll do something (here) then not carrying through, I'm not even gonna attempt to say I will. I have lots to share in the next update here (had a nice weekend) and hope to do that soon as well. Until then, THANKS SO MUCH for checking in on us and for keeping our family in your prayers!

We love you,
Tonya



Friday, March 23, 2007 6:36 AM CDT

Happy Birthday Lora Beth!! (This is Link's sister's youngest daughter... she turns 9 on the 26th. This is a picture of Addison and Lora Beth that I made after we played "dress up"..... aren't they beautiful??)








Hello Friends....

It's hard to believe that you guys are still checking in, seeing as how I've been so bad about keeping you updated. Please know that it's my heart's desire to update more often, and will as soon as I can. Most days are repeats of the ones before so I almost wonder if I wouldn't be boring you to tears... he he...

Well, I'm not sure where to start, but there are a few things that I want to cover so please ignore my attention problem as I try to share some of what's on my heart. (Yes, I really do wonder sometimes if I DO indeed have ADHD... my poor little brain LITERALLY BOUNCES from one thing to another!)

First, a lady wrote us a letter asking if they could honor Brent by using his picture on a tee shirt. I think it was for Relay for Life?? Well, I lost the letter and have NO IDEA how long it's been since it was sent. I can't even remember the name of the person who sent it! (Am I going senile or WHAT?) If you are with us today, please email me. (My email address is nason5@aol.com) If it's not too late I'll email the information to you. If it is too late, PLEASE accept my apology!?? I thought I'd put the letter up where I would see it, and remember, but undoubtedly I didn't. Again, I'm VERY SORRY! We were HONORED that you wanted you remember our little man in this way, THANK YOU, VERY MUCH!!

On another note... I had the privilege of meeting one of Brent's Prayer Warriors the other day. Now, I can't remember his name either. (So sorry) He said Ms. Garrett had connected his family with ours. Friends, you'll never know how much your prayers meant (and mean) to us! Thank you SO MUCH for loving our precious boy and for sharing him and his story with others!!!!!! You will never know the burdens you helped carry us through with your prayers! As ALWAYS..... it's WONDERFUL to get to meet you!

HHMMMM.... what else am I forgetting to tell you??? Oh well, I guess I'll move on. If I remember I'll tell you later. (He he) As for our family.... well, there's no easy way to describe how we're doing. I know that with me, my emotions could be ANYWHERE at ANY given moment. For the most part, we're handling things well.... we just never know what's going to be the next thing to set us into a meltdown. God has been SO GOOD in holding us up. We KNOW there is NO POSSIBLE way we could deal with this sort of pain without HIM. I've learned recently that I have to ask GOD each day to fill me up with HIM. I also ask HIM to give us the "JOY OF THE LORD." As always, we're SO VERY THANKFUL that we have Zach & Gabe to keep our minds (and our days) busy. Children truly ARE a GIFT from GOD!!

Now, about our almost nonexistent Bible study...... I've decided that I'm going to TRY and update the site daily. I'm VERY SLOW and don't usually cover much ground as I want to be CERTAIN that I'm not saying something that's not biblical. SO.... there may be three questions added daily, or there may be one. I definitely don't want to leave those of you who asked for help hanging. Maybe THIS will be the solution I've been looking for. At least if I do it this way, and miss a few days here and there..... SOMETHING will have been added for the week. I'd still like to encourage anyone who'd like to list their prayer requests or perhaps questions of their own in the "comments" section. (I think that'll work) I do apologize for lagging behind on this.... I'm really very sorry!

Alrighty friends... I'm going to sign off and try to get started on John 8. Feel free to join us on the blog. There is a link above, just click on "Bible Study" and it'll take you there. Otherwise you can go to iwanttoknowjesus.blogspot.com

Thanks SO MUCH for checking in on us. We ESPECIALLY thank you for your prayers as we continue to walk this new journey without our precious Brent. May GOD bless each of you!!

We love you,
Tonya




A Soul Distressed
3/23/2007

He began to be troubled and deeply distressed. Then He said to them,
"My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death. Stay here and watch!"
MARK 14:33b-34

"Who can know the depth and intensity of the heart of God? No one could measure His sorrow over an unrepentant sinner or His joy over a spiritual rebel who relinquishes everything to Him. We can begin to understand what is on the heart of God only when He shares His heart with us (Amos 3:7).

Are you aware of the fervent emotions in the soul of your Lord, as He carries the weight of the world? The disciples were unaware of the deep anguish in the heart of Jesus. Yet, He willingly shared His heart with them. The disciples often seemed disoriented to what Jesus was feeling. When He took delight in young children, His disciples attempted to chase them away (Luke 18:15-16). When Jesus had compassion for a woman living in sin, they acted confused (John 4:27). While Jesus wept at the hopelessness of those facing death, His closest friends grieved as if Jesus had no power to raise the dead (John 11: 1-44).

You can choose to be alert to the heart of God. As you seek to understand what God is feeling, He may share with you the intensity of His heart. When you are around other people, God may sensitize you to the love He feels for them. When you see others suffering, you may feel the compassion Jesus feels. When sinners return to God in repentance, you may share the Father's joy. You will react to evil the way Jesus reacts. If you will remain alert in prayer, Jesus will share His heart with you."






You can learn more about Dr. Blackaby, his writings, and his ministry at www.blackaby.org, or write:

Blackaby Ministries International
P.O. Box 16338
Atlanta, GA 30321



Devotion taken from namb.net

Wednesday, March 14, 2007 7:27 PM CDT

Hello Friends...

It's been SO LONG since we've talked... where've ya been??? He he... JUST KIDDING! It's hard to believe it's been so long since the last update. It seems that each new day is a little busier than the one before it. The boys and I have been SO BUSY trying to catch up on school work. After much thought I decided that we would join our local schools in taking spring break this week. With that you'd think we had LOTS of time on our hands, right?? I've been waking around 5 each morning and start with my quiet time, try to work out, then the boys are up and raring to go! Needless to say we've spent LOTS of time OUT OF THIS HOUSE this week! It's been NICE to be out and enjoying the BEAUTIFUL weather, but I feel a little guilty for lagging online. I ESPECIALLY hate that I've been so far behind on the Bible study. I updated 6 questions, but never posted the other 4. I did have a neat idea.... There is an area where you can "comment" with each new post. I thought that'd be a great place for us to interact with each other. If any of you have something that God showed you in the Bible you can share it there, or post prayer requests, or even list your own questions. HOPEFULLY I will get back on track next week and do a better job of keeping you updated from here, and keeping the blog updated.

There is something else that I've been meaning to share, but each time I update my ADHD kicks in and I trail off in another direction. (COMPLETELY forgetting what I want to tell you) For those of you who read the guestbook, you already know, for everyone else.... let me fill you in. I was told a few weeks back that East Webster Elementary would be doing a Math-A-Thon for St. Jude in Memory of Brent. Well, they did so with AMAZING RESULTS! Ms. Regina McClellan signed the guestbook saying they raised a WHOPPING $6,416.52. WAY TO GO EWES!!! (She said the money raised was by 78 students!) Is that AWESOME or what???

I do wish there was a way to write a personal "Thank You" to each and every one of you for all you've done for us. The truth is, the deeds were so many I could start today and NEVER finish! Honestly, it's quite hard to sit and think, then rethink about losing Brent with each note. PLEASE, don't be offended if you've done something for us and it wasn't acknowledged EVERY gesture WAS noticed and VERY MUCH APPRECIATED!!!!! There are truly NO WORDS to say what each of you and your love and kindness have meant to our family.

On another note, and in updating on our family..... Link is going back to work soon. He's starting up another crew and is very excited about where GOD will lead him. Please join me in praying especially for him as he is not only the provider, but the head of our home, as well as spiritual leader. I know how hard it was for me to "get back into a routine," I can only imagine the stress and burden he's feeling. (Of course by that I mean trying find our place and purpose without Brent) We're both acutely aware of how blessed we are to have the two little ones, yet each new day is a struggle. It's like a big piece of our hearts is missing and it's something that ONLY GOD (and time) will heal.

I have a little funny to share with on the boys. (Yes, it's at my expense, but too funny not to share) Before I start I have to give you a little background. Since we've been home Link and I have been eating healthier and exercising. All of those months of running from one restaurant to another meant lots of extra pounds. (That and sitting up with one of the MOST AMAZING LITTLE MEN ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH eating a PINT of Ben & Jerry's EVERY NIGHT before bed! That was what Brent & I did in Vermont) ANYWAY..... fast-forward to the beginning of this week. Zach & Gabe are sitting at the bar waiting for me to set breakfast in front of them. (The TV is playing in the background as we hope to get a glimpse of the weather) OKAY, so I set the food in front of the boys and reminded them to ask their blessings. Well, Gabe turns to Zach and says, "We need to pray that Mom can start eating good food again." I laughed and said, "NOOOOOOOOO, don't pray that for Mama! I NEED to eat healthy food!" (See, to them, GOOD food equals JUNK food!) Zach asked how much more I wanted to lose and I told him. Along about that time I looked up at the TV and there was a model being interviewed. I said, "Zach, if Mom can lose "x" amount of pounds, I'll look like her." (I won't share how much more I want to lose... HE HE) Zach looked at the TV, back at me, and at the TV again. Then he said, "UUUMMMM, I DON'T THINK SO!" What a MESS! (By the way... I am IN NO WAY saying I want to be paper thin! My goal is to be healthy, not a bean-pole! (Just trying to make a "funny" with the boys)

Oh.... one more thing before I go. Many of you have asked about the new puppy and some have questioned if we still have Reece. The answer is yes, we do have Reece, the new pup was just an addition to the family. As for naming her.... well, I guess her "official name" is Anna. We started with the names posted on the site, then tried Maggie (Zach's idea), then it was Hanna (a young girl on TV) and it was shortened by Gabe to Anna. As for me... I've shortened "Itty Bitty" to "Itty-Bit." The poor puppy is probably as confused as a dog can be! I also really liked "Bubbles!" We'll see.

Alrighty, I've kept you long enough. I'll wrap this up by saying THANK YOU once again for all of your love and support. God has SURROUNDED us by the MOST AMAZING network of people. We've suffered a tremendous loss. Our Brent was truly one of A KIND, he was PRECIOUS in every way!!!! We will NEVER stop missing him, but we know that GOD will hold us close and carry us until we can stand on our own again. Until then, it's wonderful to know that there are so many loving people lifting us to our Father in prayer.

Thanks again for keeping watch over our family!!

We LOVE YOU,
Tonya





Truth Is to Be Experienced
3/14/2007

"When He had stopped speaking, He said to Simon,
''Launch out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch.''"
LUKE 5:4


"When Christ teaches you something about Himself, He implements it into your life through experience. As the crowds gathered around, Jesus chose to board Peter's boat and teach the people from there. All day long Peter sat in the boat listening to Jesus teach the multitudes. At the close of His discourse, Jesus allowed Peter to experience the reality of what He had just been teaching the crowd. The crowd had heard the truth, but Peter was to experience it.

Jesus put His teaching into language a fisherman could understand. He told Peter to put out his nets into the deep water. Peter hesitated, ""Master, we have toiled all night and caught nothing."" Peter had been fishing all night, had washed and repaired his nets in the morning, and then listened to Jesus teach. He was tired. He probably was not expecting a dramatic encounter with God at a time like that. Yet, as Peter obeyed Jesus, he pulled in such a miraculous catch of fish that his boat almost sank! Peter was filled with amazement and recognized that he had just experienced the power of God (Luke 5:4-1 1).

Peter learned that with a command from Jesus, he could do anything. Thus, Jesus was able to reorder Peter's priorities from catching fish to catching men (Luke 4:10). Peter's obedience led to a dramatic new insight into the person of Jesus. This was an invitation to walk with Jesus in an even more intimate and powerful way.

God does not want you to merely gain intellectual knowledge of truth. He wants you to experience His truth. There are things about Jesus you will learn only as you obey Him. Your obedience will then lead to greater revelation and opportunities for service."






You can learn more about Dr. Blackaby, his writings, and his ministry at www.blackaby.org, or write:

Blackaby Ministries International
P.O. Box 16338
Atlanta, GA 30321



Devotion taken from NAMB.NET

Tuesday, March 6, 2007 8:32 AM CST

Hello Friends....

I always seem to start out these updates saying that I hate there was so much time to lapse in-between the last. Well, this time I especially hate it. I hate it because I talked about what a hard time we were having, but didn't come back to tell you that we've had better days since. I'm sure there are many emotions we'll face, but GOD has been SO GOOD and SO FAITHFUL! Even when I'm acting the MOST childish, HE still gently and lovingly opens HIS arms and HOLDS me tight until I feel like I can stand again. I have admitted all of my feelings to GOD (as if HE didn't already know) and HE'S helping me through them. Link and I have learned that the ONLY way to deal with this is by letting GOD carry us through, and by doing it day to day.

As for the little ones.... Well, they're dealing with things in their own way. Zach is very private with his feelings. He almost NEVER cries in front of anyone. Gabe, on the other hand, will go from watching something on TV into a river of tears. It's like something he saw in a commercial reminds him of Brent. The boys have always been so thoughtful of each other, I think he probably saw something that the knew Brent would like. At other times, they happily discuss something that they and Brent talked about or played together. They are so precious!

Our Gabe reminds me so much of Brent.... he sings all the time! I told Brent many times of how he LOVED to sing. It seemed as if he loved to hear his own voice, because he was NEVER quiet! :-) Gabe does the same thing now..... he's ALWAYS humming, singing, or talking! (I LOVE IT!) Of course we'd give almost ANYTHING to have those days with Brent again. I say "almost" because even as much as we miss him. we'd not ask him to come back from HEAVEN for anything under the sun! What a BLESSING it is to know that Brent is HAPPY is now, that he is WHOLE! Although we didn't get what we prayed for (Brent's COMPLETE EARTHLY healing) he got SO MUCH MORE! How could I even dream of asking him to give that up??? PRAISE GOD we KNOW as believers that we will one day soon be with him again! (Even now, I find myself praying the prayer of John, "Even so, come soon LORD JESUS!")

Oh, I forgot to mention in the last update that Link's birthday was coming up. I think I bawled most of the way through the update and celebrating ANYTHING was the last thing on my mind. The boys and I didn't forget- we DID try to make his birthday as happy as possible, I just forgot to tell YOU about it! (It was March 1) I know Link wouldn't mind that I forgot to mention it here, because he thinks there's too much "hype" about all that celebrating anyway. (He he)

Alrighty, I've kept you long enough. As much as I'd love to stay and "chat" with you.... I'd really better go and get these boys started on their school work.

WHOOPS! One other thing..... I'm working on the next study. I hate that I've been so far behind on it and will let you know when it's posted.

Thanks SO MUCH for all of your prayers and continued support of our family! We are SO THANKFUL for you!


We LOVE YOU,
Tonya




The Extraordinary in the Midst of the Ordinary
3/6/2007

And the Angel of the Lord appeared to him in a flame of fire from the midst of a bush. So he looked, and behold, the bush was burning with fire, but the bush was not consumed. Then Moses said, ''I will now turn aside and see this great sight, why the bush does not burn.'' So when the Lord saw that he turned aside to look, God called to him from the midst of the bush and said, ''Moses, Moses!'' And he said, ''Here I am.''
EXODUS 3:2-4


"Moses was going through the routine of his day, when he noticed an ordinary thing: a burning bush. Moses also noticed something extraordinary. Although the bush was burning, it was not consumed. Moses turned aside to look more closely. When the Lord saw Moses turning aside from the routine of his day, He spoke to him. Everything God had been doing for forty years in Moses' life was culminating in this moment. So much of God's redemptive plan waited for Moses to notice the uncommon in the midst of the common.

There will be times when, immersed in the ordinary details of life, you may be oblivious to the extraordinary that is right next to you. You can be in the midst of a common moment, only this time the activity is filled with the presence of God. There may be times when, in the middle of your harried day, you notice something unusual. Your first reaction might be ""I'm too tired to go aside to investigate this!"" or ""I'm not going to disrupt my life for this."" Yet, in that moment you may have the opportunity for a unique encounter with God.

God usually speaks out of the ordinary experiences of life. Often, it is not while you are worshiping at church. Many of God's most profound and history-changing encounters came during the ordinary experiences of life. When you see the unusual in the midst of the mundane, don't continue business as usual. It may be that God has ordained that moment to be a life-changing time for you and those around you."






You can learn more about Dr. Blackaby, his writings, and his ministry at www.blackaby.org, or write:

Blackaby Ministries International
P.O. Box 16338
Atlanta, GA 30321



Devotion taken from NAMB.NET

Wednesday, February 28, 2007 10:31 PM CST

Hello Friends....

I always hate to let so much time lapse between updates. Our days have been so full, and when there's finally a minute to rest I'm usually too tired to think, much less try and speak in complete sentences. (HA!) I've had so much to tell you, yet haven't taken the time to do it. With that said, I didn't want to let another day pass without saying SOMETHING! The long (talk your ears off) kind of update will have to wait till another day, today has been incredibly HARD and I'm honestly ready to go to bed and get it behind me.

When we got the mail today there was a package from St. Jude. It seems that Brent's picture was used on the CD case of a Country Cares interview. It's the one we did soon after he relapsed. There's audio of him reading through something.... I can't remember what.... hearing his voice was more than I could stand today. I miss him so much and have found myself acting quite childish with GOD about it. I've all BUT got down on the floor, repeatedly saying.... I don't want to be here anymore.... PLEASE come get us ALL!! Now, some of you may think I've COMPLETELY lost my mind. Perhaps I have, I KNOW GOD has a plan for us or he'd have not left the rest of us here. Some days it just hurts too much to be here without him. I know I'm probably not making any sense.... NONE of this makes sense.

Okay, I said I'd skip the long update.... I guess I'll go ahead and share what's been on my heart. I think when we first lost Brent that there was SUCH GREAT relief that he was FINALLY out of misery! I couldn't (and won't) tell you how bad he was. There were many nights near the end that I'd get down beside him and PRAY for GOD to PLEASE take him HOME. Well, NOW those horrible memories are behind us and NOW the INCREDIBLE HOLE in our hearts is evident. I had recently started to struggle with many emotions. I don't really want to say that I was angry with GOD because I'm not a hundred percent sure that I was. Yet HIS WORD was SO HARD to read. I'd been ALL THROUGH it looking for promises for Brent and his healing. Now, I read those same passages and struggle not to question. Like I said, I don't really know what I'm feeling, but GOD does. I've finally surrendered these feelings to GOD and asked that HE take them all away. With all of that said, I hope that you don't think of me as a hypocrite. I wish I could explain my thoughts and feelings better..... but I'm still learning myself. (Oh, as I say I'm "questioning GOD," I want to make ABSOLUTELY CLEAR that I have NO DOUBTS in HIS EXISTENCE, of HIS being SOVEREIGN, or HIS ENDLESS LOVE for me, my family, or any of the rest of the world. My questions have been along the line of "why?")

As for the TREMENDOUS HOLE I told you about.... Well, my sister found the most AMAZING passage a week or so ago and shared it with me. When you read it, think of our family and the unimaginable loss we've experienced. It's as if GOD wrote this especially for us!



1 Peter 5:10 (New American Standard Bible)

10After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, WHO called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you.



She also looked up some of these words in Greek-

*PERFECT - Means to complete and repair
*CONFIRM - Means to make stable
*STRENGTHEN - Means to make strong
*Establish - Kerry looked this one up in the dictionary, it means - to fix PERMANENTLY!!

Now, if we rewrite this passage using the GREEK meaning it reads something like this.......

After you have suffered for a little while, the GOD of all grace WHO called you to HIS eternal glory in CHRIST, will HIMSELF complete and repair you, HE WILL make you stable, HE will make you strong, and HE will permanently fix us.

I couldn't help but be amazed as I've been using terms like "a great big hole in our hearts" and she finds a verse that says GOD will fill us UP with HIMSELF, HE'LL REPAIR the hole, HE'LL make our unstable hearts (and lives) stable, AND HE will PERMANENTLY FIX us! There is nothing like the TREASURES we find in HIS WORD!

As for the rest of our day..... and not long after my meltdown over the CD, the man we ordered the monument from called to say they were about to set it up. Now, I say "monument," that's what you call a headstone, right?? It's absolutely BEAUTIFUL. As beautiful as one of those can be..... we used the picture of Brent that's on his blog. (The one you can get to from here, that site had accidentally been deleted, but the good folks who run the blogspot repaired and restored it.) Anyway, we used the actual picture , and just below is a portion of a passage from 2 Timothy


2 Timothy 4:7-8 (New International Version)

7I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 8Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day



We thought this verse was a fitting way to remember Brent. Hopefully his life will continue to be a great witness, even through death.

Okay, I guess I've talked your ears off.... and it's getting late so I'd better wrap it up. I want to thank you for the precious messages you've left for us, and for the email that you've sent. As I said, I've had a hard time keeping on top of things. Please know that even though you've not heard from us, we ARE VERY GRATEFUL for your time and thoughts. Most importantly, we're thankful for your PRAYERS!! Your continued support has meant more than we could ever say. Thank you, THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

We love you,
Tonya


PS.... I'm gonna try and update the Bible study tomorrow. SORRY I'm so far behind! :)



Godly Pursuits
2/29/2007

"Therefore let us pursue the things which make for peace
and the things by which one may edify another."
ROMANS 14:19



"A mark of spiritual maturity is a willingness to sacrifice personal comfort in order to strengthen other believers. Paul urges Christians to pursue only activities that promote peace and behavior that builds up others. To pursue means to passionately focus one's undistracted effort toward a goal. This is not a casual matter. It involves using all the resources God has given us to ensure growth and peace in the life of a fellow Christian. To the Colossian church, Paul said he labored, ""striving ... to present every man perfect in Christ"" (Col. 1:28-29). This took concentration and effort!

For Paul, choosing to edify Christians meant refraining from any activity that caused others to stumble. He did not concern himself with his own rights or comforts because his greater priority, over his personal freedom, was to lead others to Christian maturity (I Cor. 14:12, 26). This is how Jesus related to His disciples. He taught them that they could express no greater love than to lay down their lives for one another (John 15:13). As Christians, we ought to be so devoted to strengthening one another's faith that we pursue this goal relentlessly, even if it means laying down our own lives. This behavior characterized the early churches (Acts 2:40-47). This is what love is like among God's people (Gal. 6:9-10). As God reveals to you what those around you need in order to grow in their faith, be prepared to make the necessary sacrifice on behalf of your fellow Christians (Col. 1:29)."





You can learn more about Dr. Blackaby, his writings, and his ministry at www.blackaby.org, or write:

Blackaby Ministries International
P.O. Box 16338
Atlanta, GA 30321




Restoration from the Shepherd
2/28/2007

"He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake."
PSALM 23:3

"Your Shepherd knows your every need. He knows you will grow weary in your pilgrimage with Him. He knows there are times when you need rest. Your Shepherd knows just what you need to be refreshed. At times you need to lie in lush meadows or beside quiet streams. Sometimes you need to be held by your Shepherd. At other times you need to enjoy the pleasures the Shepherd provides. The Shepherd will not always replenish you in the same way; His response to you will always perfectly correspond to your present need.

As you follow your Shepherd there will be times when your soul becomes exhausted, perhaps because of trials you are experiencing or temptations you are resisting. The persecution you face or the burdens you are carrying for others may be wearing you down. You may be weary from the discipline the Shepherd has brought upon you. There will be times when you feel you can go no further in your Christian pilgrimage. Your Shepherd knows when you have reached this point, and He always has a remedy! There are many ways He can strengthen you: through His word, through others, or through your circumstances. He knows what you need even better than you do.

Have you grown weary? Does your soul need to be refreshed? Don't attempt to recover on your own. Only God knows how to heal and rejuvenate a soul (Isa. 40:28-31; Matt. 11:28-30). He will do it perfectly, sometimes in surprising ways. Ask Him to restore you, and then be prepared to respond to what He does next."





You can learn more about Dr. Blackaby, his writings, and his ministry at www.blackaby.org, or write:

Blackaby Ministries International
P.O. Box 16338
Atlanta, GA 30321





Devotion taken from namb.net

Wednesday, February 21, 2007 6:31 AM CST

Morning Friends...

I updated last night but forgot to actually go and ADD the updated Bible study. See, I've been telling you that I'm "not all there" and I continue to prove it! HE HE! I just wanted to let you know that I'm going there in just a few minutes to update and I APPRECIATE you being patient with me!

Have a GREAT DAY!!
Love,
Tonya





Tuesday, February 20, 2007 8:56 PM CST

Hello Friends!

Long time not talk eh?? I'm SO SORRY! It's not that I've not thought of you, I have, and we're still praying for you too. It's funny how close I feel to you, our Prayer Warriors. When something happens I can't wait to come here and share it. I really hate that I've not checked in more often than I have.... it's just hard to find time in a day to get everything done sometimes. Speaking of getting things done.... I've FINALLY finished the next section of our Bible study. I'm still wishing there was a way to get it done daily, maybe as I get more used to our routines I'll be able to get more done. The main reason for wanting to do it daily was because of the ladies who'd emailed me asking me how to GROW in the LORD. Well, we just can't have the same relationship with GOD only spending ONE day a week with HIM. If we're serious about growing as Christians we HAVE to spend time in prayer and in THE WORD DAILY. I'm praying that GOD will show me a way to everything done. Meanwhile, I'll ask that you pray GOD'S WILL for our lives too.

On another note.... I'm happy to say that I don't have any CRAZY pictures to share tonight. The boys have been as quiet as they know how to be and haven't caused any MAJOR messes. At least none THAT I KNOW OF! Someone asked in the guestbook if they've always been this mischievous. Well, they have certainly got into some messes, but none on the level we've seen recently. At least not for a VERY LONG TIME. Gabe was actually the worst of the three boys. I can name three instances where he REALLY made a MESS! The first of his MAJOR mishaps was with paint. I wasn't feeling so good that day, so I'd gone in my room and was laying across my bed. Zach came running in to tell me that Gabe was painting the house! Keep in mind that he was probably 3 years old and we'd JUST MOVED into our new house. I'm not sure HOW he got the paint, but he squirted a large spot on the floor and proceeded to make circles on the tile in the kitchen. Then he realized that if he ran through it, his little foot prints would be displayed with every step. He DISPLAYED them all right! They went from the kitchen, to the dining room, foyer, living room and back into the kitchen again. I ran in and found the mess and tried NOT to cry. I got down on my knees and started to scrub the paint from the grout. Gabe thought it would be fun to climb up on my back and started to squeal, "Giddy up horsey!" Another instance was with baby powder (pretty much happened EXACTLY like the other day, except he wasn't trying to make a smoke bomb. At this time he found it amusing that big clouds of powder would fill the air as he made the circle around from the kitchen, dining room and then through the living room. EVERYTHING was covered! The last of the MAJOR things that I can remember was when he climbed up on the counter in the bathroom and pulled the stopper in both sinks. He then turned the water on WIDE-OPEN and flooded the bathroom all the way through the living area. YES, he kept us BUSY!!!!!!!

The other two boys never really did anything HORRENDOUS. I think the worst thing that Brent ever did was when he tried to flush his tigger doll. He was one of those babies that was VERY DEMANDING (but I LOVED IT) and at the same time he never caused any trouble. Zach and Gabe on the other hand were good at playing alone and didn't require a lot of extra attention, but they would TEAR THE HOUSE DOWN!

Oh, one of Zach's big things was hiding from me. He'd disappeared in Walmart one day and the very next day he hid as EVERYONE here looked for him. The men who'd built our house were outside working and even THEY'D stopped to look for him. He was happily hiding under a TABLE! He also took a hammer and nail and tried to drive it into the plug end of an extension cord. OOOHHHH YEAH, they've kept me on my toes!

Hey, I just realized that I shared a little story on Brent and I did it without "tearing up." PRAISE GOD!!! The days are sometimes long and hard, but we've learned that GOD WILL CARRY US THROUGH! Brent was my VERY BEST friend for a long time. I'm not saying that I loved him more than the other two, just that he was older and enjoyed hanging out with me. He LOVED to go shopping with me or was content to snuggle on the couch and watch tv. I know that Link felt the same way. We've learned a lot about LOVE, life, marriage and many other things over the past two years. We've grown closer as a family, and yet there's a tremendous void where Brent used to be. I know our memories of him will last forever, but they're not the same as having him walk up with his arms spread wide for a hug. UGHHH..... I MISS HIM SO MUCH! Okay, now I AM about to "tear up" so I'm gonna wrap this up before the waterworks start.

I've said this many times from here, but I'll never be able to express how much you guys have meant to us. When we had decisions to make that NO PARENT should even have to entertain, we made them in FULL CONFIDENCE because we KNEW they were SMOTHERED in PRAYER!!!!!! Yes, God has used you to help carry a tremendous burden, and for that we can never thank you enough. I hope and pray that you're having a wonderful week! Thanks again for staying with us!!

We love you,
Tonya




You Are Salt
2/20/2007

"""You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt loses its flavor, how shall it be seasoned? It is then good for nothing but to be thrown out and
trampled underfoot by men."""
MATTHEW 5:13



"God's people are His preserving agents for a world that is corrupted and degenerating because of sin. Your life is designed and commissioned by God to enhance a community and to preserve what is good and right. There is deep significance today for a godly life that is involved in its community. The presence of Christ in you makes all that He is available to others. His salvation can free an addict, mend a broken home, heal the pain of the past, restore a wayward child, and comfort a grieving heart. All of this is available to those around you as Christ expresses His life through you.

If we are not in a right relationship with our Lord, however, Jesus said we are like salt that has lost its saltiness and is, therefore, good for nothing. None of God's saving grace and power can be dispensed through us to others. How do we test the ""saltiness"" of our life? Look at our family. Are we preserving it from the destructive influences that surround it? Examine our workplace. Are the sinful influences in our work environment being halted because we are there? Observe our community. Is it a better place because we are involved in it? What about our church? The evidence that we have been used by God as a preserving agent is that things are becoming spiritually better around us instead of worse. If people around us are deteriorating spiritually, we need to go to our Lord and allow Him to adjust our lives so that we can be used to preserve others."







You can learn more about Dr. Blackaby, his writings, and his ministry at www.blackaby.org, or write:

Blackaby Ministries International
P.O. Box 16338
Atlanta, GA 30321



Devotion taken from NAMB.NET

Thursday, February 15, 2007 9:05 PM CST

Hello Friends....

I didn't have a lot to say tonight, but we had another of those unbelievable moments tonight and I thought I'd offer pictures to prove it. I wondered if you'd believe there was REALLY this much mischief going on under one roof in ONE week. (HA!) Anyway.... to give you a little story behind the picture..... the boys wanted to take a bubble bath. I helped wash Gabe's hair and asked them not to make a mess then left the room. (Crazy, CRAZY ME!) The little stinks left the blower on the tub running and bubbles went EVERYWHERE! Zach FINALLY came out to tell me that the bathroom was FLOODED with bubbles, AFTER it had ALREADY happened! He claimed he tried to call me, but didn't seem to think they should come after me until the floor was COVERED!!! Amazingly enough, the moment I ran into the room and scrambled to find the off switch.... it was THEN that THEY found it! (Until that very moment they promised they couldn't remember how to turn it off. FUNNY huh???) Anyway.... this is what I saw when I went in............ (I actually had one that was worse than this, but Zach wouldn't let me use it because he was in it)




Another thing to share...... We got a new baby this week! Well, not a real one.... but as close as we're gonna get. We've still not named her. We're thinking of Ali, Avery, Mia.... there've been A LOT of names floating around, just not settled on one. As for now, she's answering to "itty bitty."




I feel like a broken record when updating on the rest of us. Every day is the same..... we ask GOD for strength to walk the road ahead of us and ask HIM to help carry the burden. We MISS Brent like CRAZY! There is NO PAIN like that of losing a child.... absolutely NOTHING like it. Link shared with some friends tonight that we're just praising GOD that HE'S already provided a way to eternity. This life seems unfair sometimes, but nothing we feel (good or bad) can touch the joy we'll have when our time on earth is done and we too are in Heaven with our LORD.

Thanks SO MUCH for praying!!!!!! We pray for you too! We can never express what having you alongside us has meant to us.


We LOVE YOU,
Tonya





Learning to Love
2/15/2007

And may the Lord make you increase and abound in love to one another and to all, just as we do to you ... But concerning brotherly love you have no need that I should write to you, for you yourselves are taught by God to love one another.
1 THESSALONIANS 3:12; 4:9


"God is love (1 John 4:16). His very nature is perfect love, but because of sin love does not always come freely and naturally to His children. You may have been raised in a home where love was not expressed. Perhaps you were hurt by someone you loved, and your heart became hardened as a defense against further pain. You may love others but not know how to express your love in words or actions. You may feel frustrated because you have been called by God to love, yet you do not understand how to love others.

Paul wrote to the Christians in Thessalonica to encourage them not to become disheartened as they learned to love each other (1 Thess. 3:7). They did not need Paul to explain to them how to love, for God Himself would teach them how to love one another. God would give them His love, and as they followed Him, He would cause that love to multiply. If they found someone who was difficult to love, God would enable them to love through His Holy Spirit.

God in His grace has made provision for our human weakness, and He is prepared to teach us how to love one another. There are no exceptions. God can teach us to love even that especially difficult person.

Are you struggling to love someone? God will help you. He will enable you to love your parents, your spouse, your children, your friends, or your enemy in a deeper way than you could ever love them on your own. If you do not know how to express your love in a meaningful way, God will teach you how to do this. God is the authority on love. As you relate to others, ask God to make His love overflow to them through your life."




You can learn more about Dr. Blackaby, his writings, and his ministry at www.blackaby.org, or write:

Blackaby Ministries International
P.O. Box 16338
Atlanta, GA 30321

Tuesday, February 13, 2007 8:43 AM CST

Hello Friends,

I wanted to check in quickly to let you know that I finally changed out the study. I hate not to update THIS site more often, but I especially hate I've been lagging on the other one since I first said it'd be daily. You guys have been AMAZING! I've been thinking, trying to come up with a way to keep the study done daily. The only way I know to do it is to get up REALLY, REALLY early. I want to do what God wants me to do and to get everything else a gal has to do in a day accomplished also. You don't know how much I appreciate your patience with me!!! If I decide to do it weekly, I'll try to figure out a way that it can be interactive all week long. Please just keep praying GOD'S WILL for our lives (and OF COURSE HEALING for our hearts) and everything will fall into place.

As for us.... it's kind of the same ole story. We're missing Brent like crazy and trying to find our places here without him. He was and is such a HUGE part of our lives.... we see him EVERYWHERE.... we know that with God's help and time our hearts will heal. We're SO VERY HAPPY for him, but feel so very empty at the same time. This is something we HAVE to give over to GOD each and every day and allow HIM to carry it for us. (He's carrying us too)

We've been passing around a really nasty cold.... when Zach got it, he kept it! He'd been running fever almost a week so I took him in yesterday. They didn't do a chest x-ray, but they did do the flu swab and it was negative. Since the fever had spiked again Sunday night (up from 101 to 103) and the symptoms have held on so long the doc assumed it was bronchitis. We've got him started on medicine so HOPEFULLY it'll start to get better. As always.... if kids won't share anything else, they WILL share GERMS! Yes, now Gabe has it. (Again) Don't feel too bad for the little stinks though..... we'd not been home an hour yesterday and they decided they'd make a smoke bomb in my living room. They took a paper towel, filled it with baby powder and somehow made it "explode." (I'm assuming they must've stomped it.... there was no fire involved) When I walked into the living room Gabe was saying, "Oh no, OH NO!" He KNEW they were BUSTED! To give you an idea of how big a mess they made..... EVERYTHING in the living room was COVERED with powder! The furniture, the plants, the floor..... EVERYTHING! There was so much powder in the air that when it went through the air filter, and came back out it was STILL white! (There's white on the grates of the filter) BOYS! You gotta LOVE EM!

I'm SO VERY THANKFUL for the little messes and the BIG ones that keep us busy. There's always something going on to make us smile and sometimes even bursts of laughter. This is MUCH NEEDED to lighten the mood and help remind us that GOD IS GOOD.... HE'S SO VERY GOOD!

Okay friends, I guess I'm going to sign off..... we've gotta get started on school. (Don't you love my slang as I speak of "schooling" the boys?)

You guys have a GREAT week! We LOVE YOU!!!!


Still praying for healing, only now for our hearts...
Tonya



PS.... Happy Belated Birthday to Mrs. Lynn & Tressa






Love Assumes the Best
2/13/2007

Love ... bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
1 CORINTHIANS 13:7

"Love has no limits. Love never says, ""You've gone too far. I can't love you now."" ""All things"" means everything is included. Christlike love leaves no doubt in the mind of another that you will continue to love steadfastly. Do those close to you know that they can fail and do foolish things, yet you will not falter in your love for them? Are others assured that, even when they hurt you, you still love them, holding nothing against them?

Love assumes the best about others. If someone inadvertently offends you, you choose to believe the offense was unintentional. If someone seeks to harm you, you ""bear all things,"" forgiving unconditionally. If a positive light can be shed on a difficult encounter, you grasp it. If someone continually provokes you, you ""endure all things."" You never lose hope in the ones you love. You practice the same unconditional love toward others that Christ gives to you.

Paul said that he was nothing if he had the faith to move mountains, the tongue of an angel, and the gift of prophecy to understand all mysteries, yet did not have God's love. It is unacceptable to say, ""Well, I just can't love people that way!"" When God loves people through you, this is the only kind of love He has! Read 1 Corinthians 13 with gratitude that God has already expressed this complete and selfless love to you. Pray and ask Him to express it through you now, to others."




You can learn more about Dr. Blackaby, his writings, and his ministry at www.blackaby.org, or write:

Blackaby Ministries International
P.O. Box 16338
Atlanta, GA 30321

Friday, February 9, 2007 8:33 AM CST

Happy Birthday SUSAN!!!! We LOVE YOU!!


Hello Friends!!

We're back online! (Yeah!) I'm SOOOO SORRY for the lack of updates, I'm not sure WHAT has been going on with our internet. Anyway, we're back up and running so I wanted to check in quickly to say "hello" and to fill you in a little on what we've been doing. I think the last time we "talked" it was just before the big sale. (Other than the quick update afterwards) Our church and community responded in a HUGE WAY! There were enough clothes and other items to start a salvage store! (No kidding) Of course you saw the final results..... $2,500 was raised for Habitat for Hope! WOW!!!!!! Isn't GOD AMAZING??? We very much enjoyed having Mark & Mylissa (and Bella, Izaiah, and Samuel) stay with us! This is one of the sweetest families EVER! I know you've heard me gush many times by now how much they mean to us, and how we've leaned on them. Brent was crazy about them...... he ALWAYS looked forward to "Mr. Mark" coming in and playing the PS 2 with him. Yes, they supported us on so many levels and now we want to give back. I PRAY that GOD will impress on the hearts of MANY to get involved with this ministry in any way possible.

Now, You've heard us speak of Joni?? As you KNOW.... we ADORED our nurses at St. Jude! They are all PRECIOUS, but some we got to know a lot better than others. Those are the ones we had over and over again. Joni was the one that Brent ALWAYS wanted to know about every time there was mention of the hospital. They were all special to him, but he loved and adored Joni on so many levels. She took wonderful care of him, she was his buddy, she was like a big sister in many ways, and maybe..... just maybe there was a little "crush" involved. At any rate...... she held a very special place in his heart. Well, our Joni came down and spent the weekend. She helped us set up and work the sale. We enjoyed her company too!

Okay, I mentioned our second floor nurses (the ones we had while inpatient) ....... I've just GOT to mention our "D Clinic" crew too. Mrs. JoAnn & Rachel were BEYOND AMAZING!! They took Brent in as if he were their own as they met his medical needs. All of the nurses from D Clinic were AWESOME!! (I can't leave out Dr. Spunt!) Yes, this is another group of ladies that Brent LOVED deeply. They all made going to the hospital FUN! For Brent, it was more like a mini vacation than what we'd consider "going to the hospital." I can't say enough about these amazing people!

Oh, and you know I can't leave out our medical team from Vermont. Those were among the darkest days of Brent's battle with cancer, and yet they helped us to feel at home. They opened their hearts to us and accepted us as though we were family. Dr. Sholler, Dr. Homens and all the sweet nurses were amazing! Now, I can't leave out Child Life ("Jen the Hen" and crew), or Ms. Penny and Heidi, or Mark, the Sunday-Sundae man. Oh, and our Chaplain (Mr. Rick). Then there was the ICU team and respiratory therapists.... OKAY, I'll NEVER be able to name them all.

As you can tell, ALL of these AMAZING people impacted our lives for the better. Our journey was long and sometimes hard, but having such AMAZING people taking care of Brent made things so much more bearable. (As you may have noticed.... I didn't even try to list everyone at St. Jude because I KNEW I'd leave someone out.... Brent was ALL OVER THAT hospital) For those of you who helped take care of us..... WE LOVE YOU, WE MISS YOU, AND WE APPRECIATE YOU MORE THAN WORDS COULD EVER SAY!!!

Now, as for us and how we're doing. Well, there just isn't an easy way to answer that. Brent was our little man, our best friend, our first born..... how can you describe the hole that's in our hearts?? On the other hand..... after watching him suffer for so long we're at peace knowing that he's no longer hurting. Besides "no longer hurting," he's EXACTLY where we as Christians LONG to be! He's in HEAVEN with JESUS and he's KNOWING LOVE, PEACE, JOY & BEAUTY beyond anything we can imagine. We're SO VERY HAPPY for him, yet we miss him SO VERY MUCH!

On a different note..... I feel just terrible that our "Daily Bible Study" has been ANYTHING but daily. As we've tried to move into routines with school and everything else that there is to do in a day, I've found that it's really hard to get everything accomplished. ESPECIALLY with our internet acting up. It is still my heart's desire to do this as a daily thing, so for those of you who want to stay involved please be patient as I try to figure out how to do everything I'm supposed to do in a day. I love each and every one of you and was honored that some of you came to me asking how to be closer to our LORD. I feel as though I'm failing you, but as I've admitted many times.... I'm human. I'm PRAYING that God will help me work out a schedule so that I CAN get the important things done every day.

Okay, I've kept you long enough. Thank you SOOOOO MUCH for still checking in on us! More than anything, we thank you for your prayers!!!!!!!!!!!!


We love you,
Tonya






Encounters with God
2/9/2007

"But rise and stand on your feet; for I have appeared to you for this purpose, to make you a minister and a witness both of the things which you have seen and of the things which I will yet reveal to you."
ACTS 26:16


"God was working in your life long before you began working with Him. The Lord knew you before time began, and He knew what He wanted to do with your life (Jer. 1:5; Ps. 139:13). Before the apostle Paul's conversion experience on the road to Damascus, Jesus already knew Paul and had a specific assignment for him. But Jesus only revealed this assignment after Paul's conversion (Acts 9:15). So misguided was Paul that in his sincere efforts to serve God, he had actually been waging war against Christians! Although God knew what He wanted for Paul, He waited to reveal it to him until He gained his attention and became his Lord.

Our Lord does not come to us to discover what we would like to accomplish for Him. He encounters us in order to reveal His activity and invite us to become involved in His work. An encounter with God requires us to adjust ourselves to the activity of God that has been revealed. God never communicates with us merely to give us a warm devotional thought for that day. He never speaks to us simply to increase our biblical knowledge. Our Lord has far more significant things to reveal to us than that! When God shows us what He is doing, He invites us to join Him in the work He is doing.

Are you prepared to meet God today? Don't seek to hear from God unless you are ready to ask, as Paul did, "What shall I do Lord?"




You can learn more about Dr. Blackaby, his writings, and his ministry at www.blackaby.org, or write:

Blackaby Ministries International
P.O. Box 16338
Atlanta, GA 30321

Tuesday, February 6, 2007 7:21 AM CST

Hi Everyone,

This is Susan updating for my precious friend Tonya! She wanted me to let you know her Internet is down, and is working hard on getting it back up and running! She promises to get back soon to update and finish the bible study.

Now, is she not amazing or what? Tonya has such a HUGE heart, and her passion for the Lord is so "contagious". God has truly used her in my life time and time again to spur me on, to encourage and challenge me in the things of the Lord. I know how much she has also touched your lives as well.

Let's continue to keep the Nason family lifted up in prayer. If you have not taken the time to leave a message, please do!

Many blessings to you today,

Susan

PS Sorry Tonya...had to throw in my 2 cents!! (He He...)



**************************************








Morning Friends,

I wanted to drop you a quick note to say that I've updated the study with the answers to the questions from John 4, and am now going to work on John 5. I'M SOOOOOO SO SORRY that I've been lagging behind. I know I keep saying this, but I REALLY intend to try and do better. My heart's desire is to update the study daily. (I really want to do better updating here too)

Anyway...... I just wanted you to know that I'm at work on it right now. I'll also try to get this site updated just a little later.

A quick note on our family..... Well, the best answer I can give is "okay." We're still struggling with the fact that Brent is gone and we're MISSING HIM LIKE CRAZY! There is no greater joy (if we HAD to lose him) than to know that he's with JESUS and enjoying all the beauty of Heaven.

I'll share more soon....


We love you!!!
Tonya

Saturday, February 3, 2007 11:56 PM CST

Just a quick update to fill you in on our yard sale. I'm SO HAPPY to share that we raised $2,500 for Habitat for Hope! MANY, MANY THANKS to EVERYONE who participated by donating, working and SHOPPING! :) We had lots of fun and have enjoyed every minute of hanging with our dear friends this weekend.

Thanks again for EVERYTHING!!!! (I'll try to update again soon)

We love you,
Tonya







Thursday, February 1, 2007 7:54 AM CST

Morning Friends.....

I'm SOOOOO SO SORRY that I've not made it back before now. I have a ton of good excuses, but I'll spare you. I would like to say that I was VERY IMPRESSED by your answers from the Bible trivia question. I thought that was a really hard one. (I guess because I've read the Bible many times and don't remember EVER reading that! Oh well, that doesn't surprise me, I KNOW there's LOTS that I don't remember!) I'll post the answer along with a new question just below.

Who healed Jericho's water supply by throwing salt into it? Yes, it was Elisha (You guys are AWESOME!)

Healing of the Water

19 The men of the city said to Elisha, "Look, our lord, this town is well situated, as you can see, but the water is bad and the land is unproductive."
20 "Bring me a new bowl," he said, "and put salt in it." So they brought it to him.

21 Then he went out to the spring and threw the salt into it, saying, "This is what the LORD says: 'I have healed this water. Never again will it cause death or make the land unproductive.' " 22 And the water has remained wholesome to this day, according to the word Elisha had spoken.



New question.......

Who was not one of the original 12, though he probably labored harder for the gospel than anyone else?



Now, I also said I'd post the details for our indoor, yard sale. I apologize, I've been dragging my feet all week and have gotten behind on my online obligations. I've been trying to get back in a routine with school, chores, and everything else. Before I start filling you in on family stuff, let me go ahead and tell you about the yard sale. (Or since we're having it inside the gym, maybe we should call it a "gym sale?" HE HE)

Okay, so the sale will be this Saturday, Feb. 3. It will be from 7 am till 2 pm, and we will have a little of EVERYTHING there! ALL MONEY raised will go to Habitat for Hope.... Mark & Mylissa will even be here to help out! Mark will be speaking to our church on Sunday about Habitat for Hope, so if you'd like to come and hear for yourself what they're all about...... we'd LOVE to have you! I say "we"..... we've not been back since I told you we went a couple of weeks ago. Sundays are just so hard for us. I'd LOVE to go and support them.... please pray for strength for us Sunday?

Now, about our family. EVERY SINGLE DAY is a struggle without Brent. We're doing "okay," but we miss him SOOOOO MUCH! I think sometimes how I'd love to go back in time and get another hug.... to spend another day, week, or YEAR with him!!! With all of that said, we'd sure never ask him to come back. We're just so thankful to know that our baby is no longer crying out in pain, or sad because he's away from home, or any of the other rotten stuff that Brent had to face. Don't get me wrong..... he almost NEVER complained. I can't say that I've EVER heard him ask, "WHY ME?" He was SO PRECIOUS..... so willing to deal with whatever life brought before him. The only thing to rival his precious spirit was his TREMENDOUS LOVE for his LORD. Brent was an AMAZING KID!!!!

Okay, I'm gonna wrap this up and start fixing breakfast for the boys. We're going to have another busy day, but we're looking forward to it! Brent's fav nurse (Joni) will be driving down tonight and we get to keep her through the weekend. Mark & Mylissa will arrive on Friday. We're sure looking forward to all of this good company. I won't promise that I'll update again tomorrow because I can't seem to keep my word. SORRY! (Although, I WILL TRY) I am planning on DEFINITELY TRYING to keep the blog (Bible questions) updated daily. I forgot to specify, but the goal is to read a chapter a day and answer the 10 questions. I almost always have a "life application" question just below each of the other questions. These are how I help myself "think" harder about what I've read. I hope these help you too!

Oh.... just one more thing.... I had a friend email me with a question about one of my questions. I'd made the comment about "not taking our "stuff" to church with us. What I meant by that was that we should CONFESS it BEFORE we go to church. That way we're going in with a pure heart. If I say anything confusing, or that may even sound wrong to you..... PLEASE, email me and ask me about it. My email address is at the bottom of this site.

Alrighty, My FRIENDS, I'll sign off. I pray you have an AMAZING day!!!!!!!!



We love you,
Tonya




Firmly Planted
2/01/2007

"Blessed is the man
Who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly,
Nor stands in the path of sinners,
Nor sits in the seat of the scornful;
But his delight is in the law of the Lord,
And in His law he meditates day and night.

He shall be like a tree
Planted by the rivers of water,
That brings forth its fruit in its season,
Whose leaf also shall not wither;
And whatever he does shall prosper."
PSALM 1:1-3

"It is possible to spend your whole life knowing about the truths of God and never experiencing any of them. Simply knowing about the truths of God does not mean that they have become a part of your life. Here is the important question: What are you doing with the word of God? Some people allow themselves to come under the influence of ungodly thinking to the point that God's Word makes no difference to them. If you seek your counsel from ungodly persons, you will find yourself moving away from the direction God's Word commands. If you intentionally seek out sinners as your companions, they will lead you down paths that take you far from God. If you choose to join those who are scornful, you will eventually become cynical.

The righteous man does not find encouragement in the opinions of others but in God's Word. He is not content with a surface knowledge of Scripture but meditates on it day and night until he is satisfied that what he reads reflects his own experience. He becomes like a fruit tree standing firmly on the bank of the river. The tree is well nourished and produces delicious fruit and bountiful leaves. People come from miles around to sit in its shade and eat its fruit.

If you allow God to implement His Word in your life, others will draw encouragement from you. The more you grow in God's righteousness, the stronger you will become. Some people would look in vain to find anyone they were encouraging, but not so the righteous person. A constant stream of people will seek you out because they know that your life will be a blessing."





You can learn more about Dr. Blackaby, his writings, and his ministry at www.blackaby.org, or write:

Blackaby Ministries International
P.O. Box 16338
Atlanta, GA 30321



Devotion taken from NAMB.NET

Tuesday, January 30, 2007 7:55 AM CST

Morning Friends....

I'm checking in early because it's a new day and I want to turn our attention back on the things of God, leaving yesterday behind us. I deleted the entry, which is what I should've done in the first place. I think from now on that's what I'll do. AANNNNNNYYYYYYYY WAY...........

I seem to keep signing on and leaving a small update saying that I'm gonna come back, and update LATER. I hope that today I will actually keep my word! He he. I need to change the blog too. I realized that I accidentally left some of the answers there when I posted the new set of questions. That's not to say that you couldn't have answered them without me (OF COURSE YOU COULD!) I'm just pointing out what a ditzy gal I am. I'll try to get back there later and fix it and post the next set of questions. I'm sure it'll be later in the day if it gets done because our morning is FULL! :)

As for the family..... we're doing "okay." We miss our sweet little man a little more each day, but are SO THANKFUL that God has promised us an eternity to spend with HIMSELF and with our precious Brent! We're looking forward to "HOME" like never before!


Okay, I'll talk with you later!
Love,
Tonya


Hey, here's an idea to help us "move forward" in the guestbook too. My Dad gave me a Bible trivia book on Sunday. I'm gonna leave you with this question. (I'll admit.... I have NO IDEA what the answer is myself, I'll cheat and take a peek as soon as I post the question.... I'll post the answer in the next update. Feel free to post your answer in the guestbook)

Who healed Jericho's water supply by throwing salt into it?




Do Not Prove Disobedient
1/30/2007

Therefore, King Agrippa, I was not disobedient to the heavenly vision.
ACTS 26:19


"God does everything for a reason. God met Saul of Tarsus on the Damascus road for a purpose (Acts 9:1-9). Saul had planned to persecute Christians, but his encounter with Christ changed him forever. God did more in that encounter than save Saul from his sin. God began to reveal His will for Paul's life. God's assignment for Paul was clear: ""He is a chosen vessel of Mine to bear My name before Gentiles, kings, and the children of Israel. For I will show him how many things he must suffer for My name's sake"" (Acts 9:15-16).

God's plan for Paul, revealed through a vision, involved both testifying before kings and suffering persecution. Paul was to enjoy the thrill of performing miracles, preaching to large crowds, and starting churches. But Paul was also to be stoned, shipwrecked, whipped, mocked, conspired against, and imprisoned (2 Cor. 11:23-28). Would we accept this part of his assignment as readily as the first? We never hear of Paul complaining about his commission from God. He never asked that he be given a role like Peter's, or James's, or John's (Gal. 2-.9-10). It was enough for Paul that he be given any task in the kingdom of God. As he neared the end of his ministry, Paul could boldly state to King Agrippa, ""I was not disobedient to the heavenly vision.""

Oh, to have Paul's tenacity and devotion to the Father's will! What joy there is not only to begin well in our Christian faith, but also to end faithfully! It is God's desire that each of us could say at the end of our lives, ""I was not disobedient."""






You can learn more about Dr. Blackaby, his writings, and his ministry at www.blackaby.org, or write:

Blackaby Ministries International
P.O. Box 16338
Atlanta, GA 30321

Monday, January 29, 2007 2:06 PM CST

Hello Friends,

I want to start out quickly by saying that I have read what Kathy wrote in the guestbook and I want to ask that any and all comments be kept nice. (I also want to thank you for what you've said already in response and that you have "kept it clean") People who attack another person in that way are obviously hurting themselves. PLEASE DON'T LEAVE MEAN MESSAGES for Kathy?? If she is hurting she's the very kind of person I want to reach out to. My desire is to show the love of Christ to everyone.... ESPECIALLY the lost. I'd invite her back again and again, and pray that if she doesn't know our LORD, that she will.

Now, Kathy, if you are back (even though you said you wouldn't be) I want to answer some of your assumptions about me.

First, you are right..... I have been in "the pit" and have done all kinds of things I'm sorry for. I have NEVER EVER claimed to be innocent. I've always tried to be straight forward and if anything I want to help people avoid the mistakes I've made. I've admitted my sins to GOD and have been forgiven. After losing my son, and watching him interact with GOD before he died it made me want to be a better person. You called me a "Holy Roller?" That's what we as Christians are supposed to strive for. God says..... "Be Holy because I am Holy."


Leviticus 11:44
For I am the LORD your God: ye shall therefore sanctify yourselves, and ye shall be holy; for I am holy: neither shall ye defile yourselves with any manner of creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.


Leviticus 11:45
For I am the LORD that bringeth you up out of the land of Egypt, to be your God: ye shall therefore be holy, for I am holy.


Leviticus 19:2
Speak unto all the congregation of the children of Israel, and say unto them, Ye shall be holy: for I the LORD your God am holy.

Leviticus 20:26
And ye shall be holy unto me: for I the LORD am holy, and have severed you from other people, that ye should be mine.


Leviticus 21:8
Thou shalt sanctify him therefore; for he offereth the bread of thy God: he shall be holy unto thee: for I the LORD, which sanctify you, am holy.




As for our choice to homeschool..... I don't recall EVER saying ANYTHING bad about our local school systems. They supported us in HUGE ways when Brent was sick, even to go so far as to drive to Memphis to see us. Our choice to school our children is based on MANY things. Again, I can refer to scripture. God tells us to train up our children......

Proverbs 22:6
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.



Yes, I want to keep them sheltered. I'm NOT knocking anyone who wants to send their kids to school, or who have to. This is our choice. My children are KIND AND RESPECTFUL to EVERYONE! That's EVERY AGE, EVERY COLOR, disability or not! Our boys show no prejudice to ANYONE! PERIOD. They learned what they know from us just as everyone learns from their parents. Our boys don't meet a stranger. That may not be such a good thing with children being kidnapped the way they are these days, but they INSTANTLY make friends with everyone!

Now, I'll admit we've missed some school recently. We knew our time with Brent was limited and I don't regret for a minute having Zach & Gabe with us till the end. YES, we did have school right up until then. We will finish and move on to the next grade level. It may not be when everyone else's kids are moving, but I HAVE NO REGRETS. I'm using A BEKA, which is what a lot of Christian Schools are using. I'm QUITE PROUD to be able to use curriculum that teaches in EVERY LESSON about GOD. We don't have to worry if their books are going to teach them that they came from monkeys. We don't have to worry about someone trying to sell them drugs, or peer pressure.

Now, let's think about the end of life. Consider Brent...... did all of the schooling he had help him in the end??? NO! Did his knowledge of the ONE WHO CREATED him matter??? YES! I do want our children to have the best education. I believe that what we're giving them is as good as any they'd get anywhere else. I challenge anyone to look at the statistics on home-schooling. It's been PROVEN that the children who've had ONE ON ONE education will excel in life. They are well rounded as people, and have had an outstanding education. We want our boys to have the best of everything.....and will make sure they have the education they need. Honestly, the most important thing they can have is a RELATIONSHIP with JESUS. In the end, when they meet their Creator that's all that will matter.

Okay, I didn't mean to carry everyone else through this, but since our friend didn't leave her email, I had to speak to her from here. PLEASE, feel free to email me personally when you disagree with what I say. It's not my intent to judge anyone. I'm sorry if any of you get that from me. I DO MAKE MISTAKES and OF COURSE I SIN! I am IN NO WAY PERFECT! I'll be the FIRST IN LINE to tell you that! God only knows how often I've failed HIM, and greatly I've failed HIM. I'm trying to be a better person and if I can help anyone else (by pointing them to JESUS) then PRAISE GOD!

I've kept you all long enough. I'll ask once again to PLEASE email me if you MUST say anything negative. The guestbook has been such a great source of encouragement to our family and I'd really like it to stay that way. Let the devil find somewhere else to cause trouble??


Thank you all so very much for your love and support!
We love you,
Tonya









Sunday, January 28, 2007 8:12 PM CST

Hello Friends....

It's been FOREVER since we've "talked" huh? I've spent a lot of my spare time working on the Bible study. I've really been enjoying digging deeper into GOD'S WORD. I have to be honest, a lot of the time in the past, when reading my Bible I used the same method as if I were just reading any old book. At least now the questions make me stop and think. I know that the questions have been EXTREMLY EASY, but as I stated before the study is for EVERYONE. I ESPECIALLY want our "younger" brothers and sisters in Christ to GET IT also. I use the Life Application questions to try to make myself think more about what I've just read and how I can apply GOD'S WORD to my life. This is supposed to be a DAILY study and I know that I've failed you in keeping it changed. On the bright side, I did get the site made JUST FOR our study and I've also got the next post almost finished. I hope to have the answers from John 2 posted along with the questions for John 3 before I go to bed tonight. For those of you who're wanting to participate (or who already are), be patient with me. I'm learning as I go and HOPEFULLY as we "grow" together the study will become more in-depth.

Now, As for the family....... well, this has been another week of many emotions. TODAY was especially hard. I realized that this was the ONLY day of the week that I'd sit down with the boys without feeling guilty. Yes, I KNOW that I shouldn't have felt guilty for playing with them, and even now I feel guilty that I didn't spend MORE time with them..... ESPECIALLY Brent. Sundays were always special for us. We'd start our day in church and then spend the afternoon hanging out. A LOT of the time Brent and I would sit here together in our oversized chair and watch football! I LOVED SNUGGLING up and getting LOTS of good CUDDLING in during these times. I MISS HIM SO MUCH I CAN'T EVEN STAND IT! We all do. I just keep reminding myself that he's happier than he's ever been and he's MOST DEFINITELY NOT hurting. That still doesn't help when I want to hug him so bad it that it takes my breath. He was an AWESOME KID....... A REALLY AWESOME little man!

Okay..... if I'm gonna make it though this update without having another meltdown I'm going to have to change the subject. HHMMMMMMMM........

Oh, I haven't told you that one of our Prayer Warriors (Mrs. Cathy McKee) brought us a YUMMY meal have I?? (Thanks Cathy! You were so sweet to think of us!) We were also invited over to have supper on Saturday night with a couple of friends. Brad & Chrissy did an amazing job and it was SO NICE to get out hang with them for a while. Yes, we're still being well taken care of!

The yard sale is drawing near (this coming Saturday) and we're all getting really excited about it! Mark & Mylissa will be driving down and helping out, so for those of you who are near by and haven't met em, you'll have to stop in! It'll only take a minute and you'll see why we're so crazy about this sweet young family!

I KNOW that I'm forgetting to tell you LOTS of neat things, but honestly this afternoon has been really hard and I'm just about wiped out. (Mentally) I'm going to try really hard to keep the site updated more often. For those of you who are doing the study, there is a link just above the update that will carry you to the blog. If you have trouble with the link it's iwanttoknowjesus.blogspot.com
If you're new to the site, or missed the beginning of the study just look under "Blog Archive" and click on John 1 - Questions. We're reading one chapter a day and answering the questions. With each new post I'll list my answers to the previous post along with the next set of questions. Feel free to email me with suggestions.

THANKS SOOOOOO MUCH for checking in on us and for continuing to lift our family in your prayers. We NEED and FEEL EVERY ONE OF THEM!! I pray you have a BLESSED WEEK!


We love you,
Tonya





God Is Looking for Intercessors
1/28/2007

So I sought for a man among them who would make a wall, and stand in the gap before Me on behalf of the land, that I should not destroy it; but I found no one.
EZEKIEL 22:30


"God looks for those whose hearts are prepared to be intercessors before Him. Intercessors have hearts in tune with God's heart. They are so acutely aware of what is at stake, for their land, that they will stay before God as long as necessary in order to obtain God's answer. That is why you do not volunteer to be an intercessor. God enlists you.

Why do we not intercede as we should? Perhaps we are afraid to put God to the test. We worry that God might not answer our prayers. Yet God promises that if we ask, we will receive (Matt. 7:7). We may fail to intercede because we believe the busyness of our everyday lives is more effective than prayer. Jesus warned that apart from Him, we can do nothing (John 15:5). Without being intimately acquainted with God and His will, all of our labors are futile. Perhaps we fail to intercede because we misunderstand the heart of God. Jesus wept over the city of Jerusalem as He interceded for it (Matt. 23:37). If we truly have God's love within us, we will feel compelled to plead with God on behalf of those who face His imminent judgment.

Intercession is a lonely business. There may be many days or even years when there appear to be few results for your labor. Yet intercessors can be the only ones standing between a family and God's judgment, or between an individual or nation and God's wrath."






You can learn more about Dr. Blackaby, his writings, and his ministry at www.blackaby.org, or write:

Blackaby Ministries International
P.O. Box 16338
Atlanta, GA 30321

Friday, January 26, 2007 6:11 PM CST

UPDATE 9:36 PM

I've added the next set of questions for those of you participating in the Bible study. There is a link just above that will take you to it. I hate I never got around to the "real" update today, but things have been busy here. I'll try to fill you in tomorrow.

Love You!








Please pray for Madelyn, we learned today that she relapsed. caringbridge.org/tn/madelyn



Hello Again....

I'm undoubtedly dragging my feet today as I've FINALLY finished the new blog. This is where the Bible study will be posted. There's a lot of work still to do on that site, but I do have the first set of questions along with the answers. For now, I'm gonna give you the site address. I'll post a link soon.

http://iwanttoknowjesus.blogspot.com/


I'm also gonna try to get the next study posted before I go to bed tonight. Thanks SO MUCH for being patient!

We LOVE YOU,
Tonya






Friday, January 26, 2007 12:21 PM CST

Hello Friends.....

I'm SO SORRY that I never made it back yesterday. I've been working off and on all morning on the new questions, and working with the answers on the first study. My hope is to set up a blog (I'll add the link from this site) so that every study will be visible. That'll make it easy if someone joins us "late" and wants to work from the beginning. I also hope to have a message board of some sort where everyone who'd like can post where they're seeing God, what He's doing in their lives, and even post prayer requests. Now, I'm doing all of this along with my every day stuff at home so it may take a few days to get all of that up and running. I'll thank you before hand for being so patient with me. :)

I'll come back soon to update! Hope you're having a GREAT DAY!


We love you,
Tonya

Wednesday, January 24, 2007 9:37 PM CST

Hello Friends....

I'm SO SORRY that I'm just now checking back in. Before I start my rambling/explaining let me tell you quickly that Bella and her family got some really good news today! THANK YOU, JESUS!! Thank you ALL SO MUCH for your support of this AMAZING family!

Now, fill you in on our week.... Monday was a pretty nice day. Our buddy Brad came over and helped clean out the room upstairs. (Do we have the VERY BEST friends or WHAT?? They take such GREAT care of us!) With all of this deep cleaning we now have a small mountain of STUFF in our dining room. We're still preparing for the yard sale (Feb. 3) and have been told that we can start carrying our items to the gym. I'll try to set up a date when I know someone will be there and will announce it from here. That'll give all of our local friends a chance to drop their treasures early. Otherwise, you can email me. I'd be happy to get it from you and keep it here until then.

As you can see, we're still trying to keep busy and relying on GOD to carry us through each day. I'm simply AMAZED that God will carry as much of the burden as we allow. You know what I mean I'm sure..... a lot of the time we go to God, lay our burdens at HIS feet, pray, then pick them right back up and "leave" with them. After a few GIGANTIC meltdowns (since we lost Brent), and asking GOD to PLEASE carry this for me, then REFUSING to allow the rotten devil to tempt me to pick it back up again, I quickly saw that HE WILL TAKE IT COMPLETELY! We have to CHOOSE to leave it there and TRUST HIM. I'm reminded of the scripture that says......



James 4:7

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.


Our battle with emotions is just like any other. Some of it can be controlled by avoiding certain things, others can't be. It's a minute by minute process. Obviously, some emotions come on so quickly and so strong that you don't have time to "resist" them. I do know that grieving is a natural process and I'm not saying we're trying to avoid it.... just to deal with it in a "healthy" way. I'm sure that just like with any temptation from the evil one.... innocent grieving can QUICKLY turn into depression if you allow it. We'll just have to keep turning this over to God daily and rely on the Holy Spirit to carry us.

Now, about the Bible study we talked about. I'm TERRIBLY sorry I've not come back to share more about what God's placed on my heart. I've had a few ladies ask me how to have a closer relationship with God. I can't tell you how this BLESSES my heart because through this whole ordeal I've repeatedly "given myself to God" and asked HIM to use me in whatever way HE chooses. Well, I received an email from someone asking about spiritual growth. When I got the first email I didn't make the connection. With the second I took notice, but after the third and then forth I decided that this may be where God's wanting to use me. With all of that said, I'm not promising any DEEP or profound thoughts. I'm not claiming to have it altogether. I'm still learning just like everyone else. All I want is to be used by God. SO, in searching where God was leading me with this I thought about doing a study by Beth Moore, or perhaps Henry Blackaby. The only problem, I don't have copyright permission and some of that material might be a little hard for someone who's just starting out. (I remember my days as a baby Christian and how overwhelming it all was for me) I talked with a spiritual leader that I GREATLY ADMIRE & RESPECT, and feel that we can "make our own" study as we go. SOOOOOOOO ..... for those of you who want to join in, I'd ask you to read John chapter 1. (Yes, the whole chapter) It won't be too long, or too short and we can make it as deep as we want. For those of you who don't have a Bible that you can understand, I'd like to invite you to go to biblegateway.org (This link will actually take you to the book of John in the New Living Translation, which is what I used for most of the study) You can look up ANY chapter under ANY translation. I prefer the New International Version or New Living Translation. If you want the MOST LITERAL translation then you'll want to use the New American Standard.


Okay, so the plan (at least for now) is to answer 10 questions from the chapter we're reading. I'm going to suggest some questions to you but if you'd rather make your own then GO FOR IT! All that matters is that you're spending time with the LORD in HIS WORD. This is TRULY the ONLY way to GROW! If we have God's Word stored in our hearts it will convict us when we sin, it'll encourage us when we're down, and among many other reasons, but one of the most important, it'll also let us see WHO GOD IS. It's kind of like marriage. How can we KNOW who we claim to love if we don't ever spend time with them?? Of course we also need to spend time with God in prayer.... didn't mean to neglect that!

As I said, if you want to make up your own questions, or answer more than 10 then by all means.... DO IT! I'm also going to ask additional questions for those who want to dig a little deeper. In doing so we can also find how to use the Word in ways we can apply it to our daily lives. I don't want to leave anyone out. I'm assuming we have "baby Christians" all the way to very mature ones. Alrighty...... I'm about to list my questions and will post my answers in the next update. That's not to say that I think mine are right, I just hope this will give our new BELIEVERS an idea of how this works. Here we go.....



1.
In John chapter 1 vs 1 the Bible says....

The Deity of Jesus Christ

1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2He was in the beginning with God.

Q. When the Bible speaks of "the Word".... Who is it speaking of?

Q. The beginning of what??

Q. How long has "the Word" been with God?




2.
Vs. 10He was in the world, and the world was made through Him, and the world did not know Him.

Q. Who made the world?

Q. Did the world know Him?


Life Application -

How often am I in His presence and don't "know him?" (Or recognize Him)



3.
(Up until now, I was using the New American Standard, I'm switching now to New Living Translation)

14 So the Word became human and made His home among us. He was full of unfailing love and faithfulness. And we have seen His glory, the glory of the Father’s One and only Son.

Q. This passage says, "The Word became human and made His home among us."
Is this verse saying that Jesus did or did not exist BEFORE Christmas?

Q. What was He full of?


Life Application -

Have I seen His glory, or am I missing it? If I have seen it, what am I doing with it?



4.
Vs. 22 “Then who are you? We need an answer for those who sent us. What do you have to say about yourself?”

Q. Who was questioning John?

Q. When asked "who he was," what answer did John give?



Life Application -

If asked who we are, what answer will we give?




5.
Vs. 29 The next day John saw Jesus coming toward him and said, “Look! The Lamb of God Who takes away the sin of the world!

Q. Who did John see coming toward him?

Q. How did John describe Jesus?



Life Application -

Am I telling others about the One who takes away the sins of the world?




6.
Vs. 34 I saw this happen to Jesus, so I testify that he is the Chosen One of God.”

Q. What did John see happen to Jesus?

Q. What was he to testify about Him?


Life Application -

Is Jesus my "Chosen One" or am I trying to fill my life with other things?



7.
Vs. 37 When John’s two disciples heard this, they followed Jesus.

Q. What did the two disciples hear?

Q. Who did they follow?



Life Application -

Who or what am I following??




8.
Vs. 38 Jesus looked around and saw them following. “What do you want?” He asked them. They replied, “Rabbi” (which means “Teacher”), “where are you staying?”

Q. What question did Jesus ask those who were following Him?

Q. What answer did they give Jesus?


Life Application -

What do I REALLY want with Jesus or do I want Him at all?




9.
Vs. 45 Philip went to look for Nathanael and told him, “We have found the very Person Moses and the prophets wrote about! His name is Jesus, the son of Joseph from Nazareth.”

Q. Who did Moses and the prophets write about?

Q. Who told Nathanael about Jesus?


Life Application -

Have I REALLY found Jesus? Do I KNOW HIM as LORD of my life, or just because I was raised in church?



10.
Vs. 48 “How do you know about me?” Nathanael asked. Jesus replied, “I could see you under the fig tree before Philip found you.”

Q. What did Jesus say to Nathanael?

Q. What was Nathanael's response to Jesus?


Life Application -

Am I talking the same way I would if Jesus could hear me? Am I watching TV shows that I'd watch if He were near? Do I treat EVERY PERSON as if they themselves were Jesus?? Do I REALLY realize that HE CAN see my VERY MOVE and KNOWS my every thought?



Alrighty my friends..... I've used WAY more than the 10 questions I was supposed to use. To my defense.... the answers are REALLY, REALLY EASY! Oh, I'm hoping that as we move forward with this my ability to ask good questions will improve. Overlook my mistakes!??


Thanks SO MUCH for checking in on our family and for keeping us covered in PRAYER! We love and appreciate you more than you'll ever know! Oh, and for those of you who'd prefer NOT to sit in on the Bible study, I'm gonna figure out a way to put it at the VERY BOTTOM of the update.... so you don't have to.


Have a BLESSED DAY!
We love you,
Tonya





Come and See
1/24/2007

They said to Him, "Rabbi... where are you staying?" He said to them, "Come and see." They came and saw where He was staying, and remained with Him that day.
JOHN 1:38b-39

"There comes a time for each of us when merely talking about the Christian pilgrimage is not sufficient. We must actually set out on the journey! We can spend many hours debating and discussing issues related to the Christian life, but this means little if we never actually step out and follow Christ!

For generations, the coming of the Messiah had been pondered and predicted by the nation of Israel. Perhaps no topic garnered more discussion among Jews than the nature and work of the Messiah. Andrew had listened to John the Baptist and had heard of the coming Messiah. Now, suddenly, he was face to face with the One he had yearned to see! Andrew's mind was filled with questions he longed to ask. Instead of entering into a theological dialogue with Andrew, however, Jesus turned and began to walk. Andrew's questions would not be answered by discussion alone, but by walking with Him.

Christianity is not a set of teachings to understand. It is a Person to follow. As he walked with Jesus, Andrew watched Jesus heal the sick, teach God's wisdom, and demonstrate God's power. Andrew not only learned about God; he actually experienced Him!

Moments will come when you stand at a crossroads with your Lord. You will have a hundred questions for Him. Rather than answering the questions one by one, Jesus may say, ""Put on your shoes, step out onto the road, and follow Me."" As you walk daily with Him, Jesus will answer your questions, and you will discover far more than you even knew to ask."






You can learn more about Dr. Blackaby, his writings, and his ministry at www.blackaby.org, or write:

Blackaby Ministries International
P.O. Box 16338
Atlanta, GA 30321

Tuesday, January 23, 2007 9:42 AM CST

Morning Friends....

I'm checking in quickly to ask you to pray for CLEAR scans for our friend Bella today. They saw something yesterday and are looking closer today. Her site is caringbridge.org/fl/bella

I'll try to come back later today and update. God's showing me some neat things and I can't wait to share. (Working on a Bible study we can all do together from this site).

See you soon!
Love you,
Tonya

Remember, PRAY FOR Bella!!

Sunday, January 21, 2007 6:43 PM CST

Hello Friends.....

I don't think I have a long update in me tonight, (good for you huh?? he he) but I wanted to address something I said, a possible misinterpretation. Someone commented in the guestbook that they felt I was wrong or personally condemning someone for committing suicide (or attempting to). I was sharing what the lady shared on TV as her personal testimony. I DO agree with what the young lady shared...... she WAS LOST. (For anyone who's just reading this..... you'll have to read the update below for any of this to make sense) Anyway.... about being lost...... Jesus said.......



John 14:6

Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.



Jesus also said.......

John 3:36

Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life, but whoever rejects the Son will not see life, for God's wrath remains on him."


If you believe what the Bible says is true...... then NO MAN (or woman) can come to the Father EXCEPT through Jesus. When I talked in the last update about someone taking their own life, I was trying to say that it won't matter how sad or upset they are when their life ends, or under what circumstances. If we CHOOSE to live our life without Christ, we are condemning ourselves to an eternity without HIM. I did NOT mean to imply that the act of suicide itself would send someone to hell. That all depends on where they stood with Christ BEFORE they stepped off into eternity. I'm sure some of you would argue with me about that.... my reasoning behind believing this is that the Bible says, "ALL have sinned and come short of the glory of God." Jesus would've died for our sins even if the only sin we ever committed was shoplifting or whatever else. He came to pay our sin-debt. SIN is SIN and no matter how "big or small" (in human eyes) it separates us from God. Without the "payment" for our sin (Jesus) we cannot enter into Heaven.

With that said, I do believe that people who HAVE GENUINE, SERIOUS mental problems (being mentally retarded) are just as "safe" as the young children that I mentioned in the update below. That is because of their pure hearts and innocence. I don't believe that scripture shows that God pardons anyone for any other reason without Christ. Why would he allow HIS OWN SON to come and die the death HE did if there were ANY other way to be saved??? Again, that's not my personal thoughts or "feelings" and I'm NOT judging anyone..... I'm basing what I say on scripture. (That's the John 14:6 mentioned above)

As for me being upset about the lady's comments..... NO WAY! I LOVE it that what I said made someone think. I like to be challenged so that I too might dig deeper for answers. If I EVER say anything here that any of you have a problem with, feel FREE to bring scripture to me that contradicts what I'm saying. If you can prove me wrong (to me) then I'll gladly admit from here my mistake. As for what I said earlier..... I based what I said on THE WORD, and the WORD IS TRUE. Before I go, let me make myself clear...... I DID NOT mean to imply in ANY way that because someone commits suicide they are bound for hell. What I said (and I hope it was clear) was that when we die..... our time for making choices is over. We will either spend our eternity WITH God or away from HIM. The time to decide is NOW. NOTHING can be changed when we draw our last breath here on earth. Here's a passage I'd like to share on this.........


Luke 16:19-31 (New International Version)

The Rich Man and Lazarus

19"There was a rich man who was dressed in purple and fine linen and lived in luxury every day. 20At his gate was laid a beggar named Lazarus, covered with sores 21and longing to eat what fell from the rich man's table. Even the dogs came and licked his sores.
22"The time came when the beggar died and the angels carried him to Abraham's side. The rich man also died and was buried. 23In hell,[a] where he was in torment, he looked up and saw Abraham far away, with Lazarus by his side. 24So he called to him, 'Father Abraham, have pity on me and send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue, because I am in agony in this fire.'

25"But Abraham replied, 'Son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things, while Lazarus received bad things, but now he is comforted here and you are in agony. 26And besides all this, between us and you a great chasm has been fixed, so that those who want to go from here to you cannot, nor can anyone cross over from there to us.'

27"He answered, 'Then I beg you, father, send Lazarus to my father's house, 28for I have five brothers. Let him warn them, so that they will not also come to this place of torment.'

29"Abraham replied, 'They have Moses and the Prophets; let them listen to them.'

30" 'No, father Abraham,' he said, 'but if someone from the dead goes to them, they will repent.'

31"He said to him, 'If they do not listen to Moses and the Prophets, they will not be convinced even if someone rises from the dead.' "



For our friends who may not be "Believers" I'll explain some of this passage. This was a parable given by Jesus. When the parable speaks of the "angels coming to take the beggar to Abraham's side" it was because Jesus had not yet died. That's why the man didn't go on to Heaven. The rest of the passage is pretty easy to understand. Now, I found something I'll share with you. It might make this passage make even more sense......... I found it on this site..... http://www.gotquestions.org/Old-Testament-believers.html





Question: "Where did Old Testament believers go when they died? Did Jesus take them to Heaven after His death? What about unsaved people from the Old Testament, what happened to them?"



Answer: The Old Testament teaches life after death, and that all people went to a place of conscious existence called Sheol. The wicked were there (Psalm 9:17; 31:17; 49:14; Isaiah 5:14), and so were the righteous (Genesis 37:35; Job 14:13; Psalm 6:5; 16:10; 88:3; Isaiah 38:10).



The New Testament equivalent of Sheol is Hades. Prior to Christ’s resurrection, Luke 16:19-31 shows Hades to be divided into two realms: a place of comfort where Lazarus was, and a place of torment where the rich man was. The word hell in verse 23 is not “Gehenna” (place of eternal torment) but “Hades” (place of the dead). Lazarus’s place of comfort is elsewhere called Paradise (Luke 23:43). Between these two districts of Hades is “a great gulf fixed” (Luke 16:26).



Jesus is described as having descended into Hades after His death (Acts 2:27, 31; cf. Ephesians 4:9). At the resurrection of Jesus Christ, it seems that the believers in Hades (i.e., the occupants of Paradise) were moved to another location. Now, Paradise is above rather than below (2 Corinthians 12:2-4).



Today, when a believer dies, he is “present with the Lord” (2 Corinthians 5:6-9). When an unbeliever dies, he follows the Old Testament unbelievers to Hades. At the final judgment, Hades will be emptied before the Great White Throne, where its occupants will be judged prior to entering the lake of fire (Revelation 20:13-15).




As for trusting in JESUS, and going to HIM when we die, I'm reminded of the thief on the cross. (Who died beside Jesus) This man was a sinner, admitted his sin, and put his TRUST in JESUS. To him, Jesus said, "TODAY you WILL be with me in Paradise."

I hope that clears things up as far as the update goes...... I mean, if what I said earlier was confusing or misleading to anyone. Aren't you glad I wasn't feeling "long winded" tonight??? HE HE HE!

Oh, and I know I really don't have to ask this of you because you've always been so loving and kind in the guestbook, but because I've seen some really NASTY arguments in some guestbooks I will. PLEASE don't make negative comments in the guestbook about the lady who brought this up. She has a right to question what I said. She did so in a very nice way and I APPRECIATE her comment. I'd also like to thank our friend who tried to explain what I was saying. (Mrs. Henley, you were EXACTLY right in explaining what I said. THANK YOU!)


Alrighty, before I sign off I'll give a quick update on our family. Sunday's are always a little hard. Brent LOVED his LORD and he LOVED to go to CHURCH. It was our "family day" and we ALWAYS spent the WHOLE day TOGETHER. As much as we MISS him, we'd not bring him back into this broken world and his broken body for anything. He's FREE! He's spending his time with our JESUS and I KNOW he's HAPPIER NOW than he's ever been. A friend recently emailed me and shared something from a book she'd read. The man who wrote the book used the passage that says a thousand years is as a day with the Lord. He said that if our loved ones ARE aware that we're not with them..... it'll ONLY seem like it's been a few minutes. WOW!! I know we (the now Nason4) can't wait to be reunited with our sweet Brent in Heaven. I just want to be SO CONSUMED with JESUS the same way that Brent was that I too will be asking........ "It won't be long now will it Lord? It won't be long now??" (Quoting one of Brent's last CONVERSATIONS with God. Oh, and Brent listened for God's reply to him to which he said....... "I knew it Lord, it WON'T BE LONG NOW."



PRAYING You ALL will join us in HEAVEN.........
Love,
Tonya




Sanctified and Then Sent
1/21/2007

"""Sanctify them by Your truth. Your word is truth.
As You sent Me into the world, I also have sent them into the world."""
JOHN 17:17-18


"God will always sanctify you before he sends you. The Father set aside the twelve disciples and made them holy by the Truth, His Son. As they related to Jesus, the Truth (John 14:6), the disciples were refined by that Truth and were prepared to be sent out to preach the gospel. Jesus challenged their ambitions (Luke 9:46-48), chastised their lack of faith (Matt. 17:19-20), refuted Satan's influence (Matt 16:23), and denounced their pride (Matt. 26:33-35). When Jesus had finished preparing them, the disciples were sent out in such power that their world was never the same again.
Satan will try to convince you that your sin renders you useless to God. That is a lie from the author and father of lies. As soon as you sin, the Deceiver will whisper, ""You failure! You are now of no use to God."" This can bring a deep sense of defeat and hopelessness to a Christian. Yet, there is no freedom that compares to a soul set free by God's grace. When God's people allow God's truth to realign them to God's will and God's standard, then the power of God will be released through them the same way it was through the first disciples.
The Truth will set you free. The Truth is: ""If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness"" (1John 1:9), and we are restored to usefulness to God."






You can learn more about Dr. Blackaby, his writings, and his ministry at www.blackaby.org, or write:

Blackaby Ministries International
P.O. Box 16338
Atlanta, GA 30321






Saturday, January 20, 2007 9:13 AM CST

Hello Friends,

I hope this week has been a good one for you. We've had our "moments," but have found that no matter - what God is carrying us. Last night while flipping through the channels I became captivated with by this beautiful young lady who seemed to be talking about some sort of accident she'd survived. I had NO IDEA what I was watching, but soon realized it was a Billy Graham special. This young lady was giving her testimony. Since I don't know the age range of our readers (here) I'll just say that she'd had a VERY BAD EXPERIENCE with someone which caused her to go into a deep depression. She was sharing how she was walking along the train tracks and within minutes decided to take her own life. (She laid down on the tracks in front of an oncoming train) This young lady went on to tell that she survived which led into her testimony. (A TRUE MIRACLE) She then told how MANY people told her that if she'd have died she would've gone to Heaven. These were well meaning people, but the girl was well into her teens, which would be past what we'd consider to be the "cut off" for the "age of accountability." For our friends who are reading and don't know what I'm talking about.... as Believers, we KNOW that with the innocence of a child, that child it is NOT condemned. There comes a time in our life that we realize that we ARE lost. (Without Jesus). At that time we know that we MUST be saved, or at that time we make the decision to keep living without Him. Anyway...... this young lady continued her testimony by saying that one day after she'd gotten out of the hospital, she talked with a young man from Seminary. She asked him where she'd be if she'd not survived. She told how he gently, and sweetly told her that if she'd not put her hope in Jesus that she would be in hell. Of course that led to her praying "The Sinner's Prayer."

As we kept watching, we soon saw one of Brent's favorite groups. Yes, it was Casting Crowns and they were singing "Who Am I." That's been one of our FAVORITES for a long time. I think it's actually the VERY FIRST SONG by this group that we ever heard. These folks are SO ON FIRE for our LORD! EVERY SONG they sing has a TREMENDOUS story to it. Our sweet Brent was crazy about this group!! Link will be the first to admit that he didn't used to like the "Praise & Worship" music, until he heard his sweet boy in the back seat singing his heart out, word for word his favorite songs! (This was while we were on our way to and from the mission trip to KY) Yes, Brent LOVED to PRAISE HIS LORD and he LOVED his PRAISE MUSIC! For those of you who too might think you don't like this style of music..... let me share the lyrics to the song I just mentioned.

Who Am I
by Casting Crowns
album: Casting Crowns (2003)

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours

I am Yours
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
'Cause I am Yours
I am Yours

Okay.... As if I weren't long winded enough..... he he.... I wanted to also share a passage that my sister and I were talking about yesterday.

Isaiah 29:13

The Lord says: "These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Their worship of me is made up only of rules taught by men.


I wanted to throw that in here right now because of some things I've had on my heart recently. I think that it's really sad that we become so accustom to "rules and customs" that we forget what we're supposed to be doing..... REALLY WORSHIPING GOD! Another thing, (Excuse me while I get on my soap box) I hate it that in some of our churches we make people feel as though they don't fit in. Now, I'll be the first to admit that the stinkin devil will tell us ANYTHING to keep us out of church. Still, some are made to feel like they have to be dressed a certain way or to be living a certain way to come. (HELLOOOO..... ARE we NOT there to share the gospel so that we will realize what we're doing something wrong and we can change it???) Are we not supposed to be united as the BODY of CHRIST to show the LOVE, MERCY & COMPASSION of our LIVING GOD??? Remember the story of the woman who'd committed adultery??? What did Jesus say to the group of men who were ready to stone her??? "He who is without sin may cast the first stone." AMEN, AND AMEN!! We all sin, should everyone not all be eligible for the same forgiveness that's been shown to us??? Now, what did Jesus say to the woman???

John 8:10-11 (New International Version)

10Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?" 11"No one, Sir," she said. "Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin."


Okay, I'm gonna hush now. I've just been AMAZED at some of the stories I've heard about people and their bad experiences with "Church." I guess I just wanted to share this in case there is anyone who's with us right now and who KNOWS there is something missing in their life. No matter how much money, how happy the marriage, how many children we have..... if we don't have JESUS, there will ALWAYS be an empty place inside that NOTHING can fill. WHOOPS! I said I'd stop now didn't I??

I was about to say that I'd let you go, but I forgot that I've not told you how we are. (SORRY!) As I'm sure you know, every day holds it's struggles without our precious Brent. There will NEVER be a day that we don't love and miss him like CRAZY!! However, I KNOW that God will heal our hearts and we will one day remember him with HAPPINESS, JOY, AND PEACE!! He was SO EXCITED (in his last days) about going to Heaven and we can't wait to get there either!! Our little Gabe has been talking almost hourly about Heaven and how he can't wait to get there. I wish I'd have had the love and understanding these little ones have a long time ago. I'm one of those who waited until late in my life to seek God. It was only when Brent became ill that I REALLY started to make REAL changes in my life. I was a Christian and had experienced many "highs" with God. I'd already experienced HIM in the good and in the MANY bad times of my life. However, I STILL sought what I wanted. Putting GOD and HIS ways above my own selfish desires was far from my heart. I was a Christian who knew WELL Who my GOD is and what HE expected from me..... and yet I did what made ME happy. I think that's why it's so heavy on my heart to share JESUS! It's BECAUSE I've strayed from HIM and HE welcomed me back with open arms, then carried me through the hardest time of my life, that I'm so CRAZY about HIM now!

Alrighty my friends, now you've sat through the LONGEST UPDATE in caringbridge history! You deserve a PRIZE!! LOL!!! I think I probably owe each of you a visit to a massage therapist???? (He he he) Seriously though.... thank you SO MUCH for sitting through my rambling. More than anything...... we're SO VERY THANKFUL for your PRAYERS!!!!!


We love You,
Tonya






Royal Priests
1/20/2007

"But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation,
His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him
who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light."
1 PETER 2:9

"If you are a Christian, you are a priest, chosen by God. As a member of the royal priesthood you have constant access to the King. If there is ever a need in your life, you don't have to find an intermediary or enlist another priest in order to gain a hearing from the King. Your position as a royal priest allows you direct access. This privilege describes your position as a priest.

However, priests also have a function. It is the responsibility of a priest to work within a priesthood. Scripture does not promote the practice of individual priests, each with a separate ministry. Rather, priests function together (Lev. 9:1). An unbiblical sense of individualism can isolate you from functioning within God's royal priesthood as He intended.

The priest represents God to the people, but he also takes the people's concerns to God. Is there someone around you who desperately needs the intercession of one of God's priests? Perhaps someone will only come to know God by seeing Him in your life. Our world hungers for an expression of Christ as He really is, living out His life through His people. It is dangerous to put our job above our calling by God. We are called to be priests first, and to hold a job second. When we get these out of order, everyone around us is denied access to the Father through us. God may have called you into a secular job as a vocation, but more importantly He has appointed you to be one of His royal priests."





You can learn more about Dr. Blackaby, his writings, and his ministry at www.blackaby.org, or write:

Blackaby Ministries International
P.O. Box 16338
Atlanta, GA 30321

Thursday, January 18, 2007 9:59 PM CST

Jesus Will Not Reject You

JOHN 6:37 LB
37 But some will come to me--those the Father has given me--
and I will never, never reject them.

People may reject you. But Jesus won't.

Jesus died for sinners. He loves them and will help them -- if
only they will come to Him.

Jesus didn't come to condemn us, but to help us. Think of the
Bible account of the woman caught in adultery.

JOHN 8:11 NIV
11 "No one, sir," she said. "Then neither do I condemn you,"
Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin."

Religious people will reject you for any number of reasons. The
length of your hair, the food you eat, or the clothes you wear
are only examples of reasons they may reject you.

But Jesus is different. He will accept you just as you are.

Many people think they need to clean up their life and get
their act together before coming to Jesus. But they have it
backwards. They should come to Jesus now, and let Him "clean
them up."

If we could make ourselves perfect -- we wouldn't need a
Savior.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007 2:21 PM CST

January 16

"A furious squall came up. (Mark 4:37)

Some of life's storms--a great sorrow, a biter disappointment, a crushing defeat--suddenly come upon us. Others may come slowly, appearing on the uneven edge of the horizon no larger than a person's hand. But trouble that seems so insignificant spreads until it covers the sky and overwhelms us.

Yet it is in the storm that God equips us for service. When God wants an oak tree, He plants is where the storm will shake it and rains will beat down upon it. It is in the midnight battle with the elements that the oak develops it's rugged fiber and becomes the king of the forest.

When God wants to make a person, He puts him into some storm."

Monday, January 15, 2007 9:15 AM CST

Psalm 119:76 (New International Version)

76 May Your unfailing love be my comfort,
according to Your promise to Your servant.

Friday, January 12, 2007 12:06 AM CST

Hello Friends....

I'm checkin in quickly to say THANKS for the overwhelming response to the idea of having a yard-sale to benefit Habitat for Hope. I know that Brent would be so proud of everyone for their giving spirit. He truly was the most giving kid, I won't stop a kid he was the most giving PERSON I knew. Our sweet little man blessed our hearts in ways we'll never be able to "pen." We miss him GREATLY and I know that he will ALWAYS be a TREMENDOUS part of our lives. I can't talk about his not being here with us now without mentioning that it brings such COMFORT to know that he's LOOKING at the face of Jesus. All of those Bible stories I've read to him over the years are probably being shared by the ones they were written about. I'm SURE if that type of talk goes on in Heaven, our sweet Brent has already asked a kagillion questions! It makes my heart smile as I picture him surrounded by his family, friends, and new family/friends singing PRAISES TO JESUS and to be able to bow at God's throne in WORSHIP! Another thing we'll never be able to detail with words is how VERY GRATEFUL we are that God allowed us to HEAR the conversations Brent was having with HIM the days before he left us. God knew the struggles we'd face, even being tempted to question what we believe. Yep, our LORD headed off any painful questions we might have by letting us SEE just how EXCITED Brent was about going HOME and how at PEACE he was when talking to his LORD! We'll be FOREVER THANKFUL to God for the things HE showed us.

As for how we're doing..... well, we're trying to take EVERY MINUTE possible to show the little boys how much we love them. If there's anything I regret ..... it's not spending more time with Brent when he was well. Please don't ever make the mistake I made - thinking that you've got "later" to spend time with your children. (Or anyone you love for that matter) Is our housework, or whatever it is that keeps us busy REALLY worth telling our sweet babes, "Not now, I'm busy.... maybe later???" LATER is a word I wish I'd never said to Brent. I know that God allowed me to make it up to him over the past two years...... but even then there was so much time wasted. Don't get me wrong.... I KNOW that he KNEW we loved him! I know that I had WAY MORE time with him than most parents who HAVE to be away from their children. I also know that SOME work has to take place.... I'm just gently reminding everyone that I love not to take these precious moments for granted. I hope that I never will again. Please don't think I'm here beating myself up over this..... I'm not. Just talking out loud I guess. (Or "typing" out loud ... he he)

Alrighty, I'm gonna go for now. I'll try to check in more often to let you know how we're doing. I hope to be able to update daily again soon. We're still just trying to get used to this normal life we thought we wanted. The thing that helps most is KNOWING that Brent's HEALED beyond ANYTHING we could've asked for. He's HAPPIER than our minds can imagine, and most importantly he's with his JESUS now! When I think of things he's missing here, I just remind myself that NOTHING here compares to what he's seeing, doing, and experiencing in HEAVEN!

Thank you SOOOO MUCH for continuing to pray for our family. We need your prayers daily as we wake and give each new morning to God. There is NO WAY we could do this without HIM!


Keeping our eyes toward HEAVEN,
We love you...
Tonya




The Key to God's Redemptive Mission
1/12/2007

"That they all may be one, as You, Father, are in Me, and I in You; that they also may be one in Us, that the world may believe that You sent Me."
JOHN 17:21

"God often speaks of human relationships as a part of His mission to redeem a lost world (John 13:20; Matt. 25:40). One reason He gives for a husband and wife to live in unity is so they can produce a ""godly seed,"" that is, children who love and obey God, who can be used in God's mission to bring redemption to a lost world (Mal. 2:14-15). Similarly, the church is the body of Christ. A church cannot be on mission with the Father in our world if its members are waging war with one another (I Cor. 12:12). There is a crucial connection between our relationships with others and the salvation of those around us.

We might assume that during Jesus' prayer before His crucifixion, He would have prayed that His disciples would have courage, or would remain faithful, or would remember what they had been taught. Yet He asked that His followers would remain united in their love for one another. Jesus understood that it is spiritually impossible to love God but not love others.

A test of your love for God is to examine your love for others. Our tendency is to say, ""Heavenly Father, the problem is not between You and me. I love You with all my heart. I just don't love my brother."" And God says, ""That is an impossibility. You cannot love Me without loving the ones for whom My Son died"" (John 13:34-35). Your life will not convince those around you of the reality of Jesus if you cannot live in unity with your fellow Christians."





You can learn more about Dr. Blackaby, his writings, and his ministry at www.blackaby.org, or write:

Blackaby Ministries International
P.O. Box 16338
Atlanta, GA 30321

Wednesday, January 10, 2007 8:13 PM CST

Psalm 68:19-20 (New Living Translation)

19 Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior,
who daily bears our burdens.
Selah

20 Our God is a God who saves;
from the Sovereign LORD comes escape from death.

Monday, January 8, 2007 8:05 PM CST

Hello Friends,

I wanted to check in quickly to let you know that we're all doing "okay." We find with each new day that there will be new hurdles to cross, and we're CONTINUALLY AMAZED at God's GOODNESS. As Link has mentioned recently, we've "lived out" our fear of losing Brent thousands of times since he was diagnosed. Though we did our best to keep our eyes on God and BELIEVE that Brent WOULD be healed on earth, the fear was always there. Our worst nightmare has happened, and even still, our God holds us near. I can't imagine going through this without the PROMISES OF GOD that one day soon we'll be with our precious boy again. I know that if Brent could say anything to us right now, he'd encourage us to tell EVERYONE about his Jesus and his new home in Heaven. What a TRUE, TRUE BLESSING to have heard his conversations with God and to KNOW that he KNEW he was bound for HOME! We're STILL IN AWE of all that God allowed us to see, hear and take part of!! God is GOOD!! Yes, HE IS SO VERY GOOD!

Now, I'll ask you to continue to lift our family in prayer. As I said, God has held us close and we've been AMAZED at the STRENGTH HE'S given. However, we all still miss Brent (LIKE CRAZY) and we continue to give each new day to the LORD. We ASK HIM to HOLD US CLOSE and to heal our hearts! Gabe has been saying things like, "I wish there was a road to Heaven so that we could go see Brent." Our Zach is very private ........ he tends to hold things in. I know they miss their big brother and EVERYTHING here reminds them of Brent too. We've relied on you so long to pray - it's so hard to "switch gears" and ask you to now pray for us.

Before I sign off I'd like to thank Susan for the BEAUTIFUL tribute to Brent that she shared on Jordan's site. If you have a minute, stop in and say "hello." I was IMMEDIATELY drawn to Susan almost two years ago when we first "met" through caringbridge. She's one of the most GODLY women I know! We have been SO BLESSED to have had her (and Jordan) along with the rest of their family in our lives. Brent thought THE WORLD of Jordan as you can tell by the picture she used on their site. Susan, THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart! Your love and support has been AMAZING!

Now, you know I couldn't leave without thanking the rest of YOU for your love and support! You've lifted a TREMENDOUS burden from our family by keeping our sweet Brent in your prayers. No matter what was going on, we KNEW that YOU all had it COVERED!!! You have fulfilled God's command that we "carry each other's burdens." We LOVE & APPRECIATE YOU more than words could ever say!



May God RICHLY BLESS YOU,
Love,
Tonya






Exceedingly Abundantly
1/8/2007

Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us.
EPHESIANS 3:20

"At times we feel as if we could impress God with all we are trying to do for Him and His church. Yet God has yet to be impressed with even the most grandiose human aspirations (Ps. 8:3-4). You will never set a goal so big or attempt a task so significant that God does not have something far greater that He could do in and through your life. Saul of Tarsus worked harder than anyone else to impress God with his efforts, only to discover that his greatest achievements were but rubbish compared to God's will for his life (Phil. 3:7-8).

Our problem is that we become too easily enamored with our own plans. If we are attempting to do noble or difficult things, we assume that we must be experiencing the maximum potential for our lives and that God must, therefore, be pleased with us. Until we have heard from God, we cannot even imagine all that our lives could become or all that God could accomplish through us.

We need to remind ourselves that the Father sees the ""big picture,"" that His power far exceeds our limited imagination. We must set aside our own agenda, however lofty. We must never become satisfied with our own dreams, for they are finite at best. When we follow God's direction we will witness things happening in our lives that can only be explained by His powerful presence. How could we be satisfied with anything less?"






You can learn more about Dr. Blackaby, his writings, and his ministry at www.blackaby.org, or write:

Blackaby Ministries International
P.O. Box 16338
Atlanta, GA 30321

Saturday, January 6, 2007 6:24 PM CST

Hello Friends,

I just wanted to check in quickly to let you all know that we're "doing okay." The first day home was the hardest (so far). Link and I spent most of the afternoon outside because the memories in the house made it MUCH TOO HARD to stay in. As the sun went down on the day we lost our precious boy we KNEW we had to come back in. EVERYTHING we do is a FIRST. I made a painful discovery yesterday morning when one of the boys asked for chocolate milk. I habitually pull out three cups each time one asks for something because it NEVER fails if one asks for it - they'll all want it. Well, when I pulled out the first two, then reached for the third I quickly found that there was no need for it. I'm SO VERY THANKFUL that we had THREE boys. I also find that I say "the boys" ALL DAY LONG as if they were all a unit. How hard would it be if there were only two boys?? That'd be another painful habit to break.

God has been INCREDIBLE! We're still hurting without our PRECIOUS Brent, and we have NO IDEA when it will really start to get better. However, the way we're handling it is TRULY BEYOND US! There is NO WAY we could do this well without our Lord. There is just SOMETHING about KNOWING that Brent is NO LONGER IN PAIN, or sad because his tired, sick body limited him from doing so many things he loved. He's found and met his brother or sister that's been there for six years already ..... he's found grandparents, aunts and uncles. A HUGE SMILE broke across my face as I realized that his sweet little Emma Grace probably met him with outstretched arms! Besides all of that, HE'S NOW SEEN THE FACE OF JESUS!! What an AMAZING thing!!

Now, I want to address something that I wondered if some of you might be thinking. I'm wondering if you're wondering WHY God would let something like this happen?? We've prayed the scriptures, fasted, and STOOD on God's promises and our miracle did not happen - at least here on earth. See, God's Word teaches us that we were created for HIS GLORY! As humans (and due to much temptation from the devil) we get side-tracked with life! We look at "things" we can accumulate, bills to pay, deeds to be done. There is ALWAYS SOMETHING vying for our time, thoughts and actions. The truth is ...... we were created for ONE purpose and ONE PURPOSE only. To BRING GLORY to God. To do this we must LOVE HIM with ALL OUR HEARTS, SOULS AND MINDS. We MUST put HIM FIRST in our lives.... ABOVE EVERYTHING ELSE! (Yes, even our husbands/or wives, children, work and hobbies) Do we always do this??? No, of course not. We're humans just like everyone else. God's Word DOES say that we can ask for ANYTHING and shall have it. I don't understand WHY God didn't give Brent his healing here on earth, but that's because I'm looking at the situation with HUMAN eyes. Undoubtedly, THIS would bring God more glory than Brent's earthly healing. If you think about it, HIS OWN SON (Jesus) asked, "God, if it be Your will, let this cup pass from me." We know that in order for Jesus to redeem us from our sins HE HAD TO DIE! If God's Son, the MOST PRECIOUS GIFT OF ALL TIME couldn't be spared, then I have no right to ask why ours was not. We are HURT in the DEEPEST way imaginable, but we are SO AT PEACE KNOWING that this DID NOT get past God and for whatever reason, this WAS GOD'S WILL. We're not angry with God, DEEPLY HURT, but not angry. In fact, we're SO VERY GRATEFUL that HE ALLOWED US to be Brent's parents. He might have given us another baby, a healthy baby - but would it have been as special as Brent?? We'd go through the pain of losing him a MILLION TIMES OVER if it meant LOVING HIM a million times over!!

Brent lived out his life in ways that most people never will. He had a relationship with our LORD that many adults will NEVER have. I only HOPE that one day I'll have what Brent had!!! We're STILL in AWE of things he said and did!! I mentioned that sometimes a relationship with God is hard to have. I fully understand that it's NOT because God doesn't want the relationship, but because we don't invest our time with HIM. Ya know, we know that we can't have good marriages if we don't spend time with each other, why would a relationship with God be any different?? (Talking to myself .... LOL! Sorry.... Moving along)....

Anyway, our sweet little man LOVED LIFE! He KNEW what it meant to LOVE HARD AND PLAY HARD! He's changed our lives for the better and we KNOW that he'd want us to be happy, to share the gospel, and to help lead as many to Christ as possible. Brent was NOT a child who EVER sat around feeling sorry for himself, and he wouldn't want us to either. Link had it so right when he said that ..... "Brent didn't leave here defeated, he wasn't a defeated Christian, and we're not going to live like we are either!" The days to come may be hard, but we're gonna wake up every morning and commit each day to God. We're gonna ask HIS MERCY, GUIDANCE, AND GRACE for each day. We KNOW that we can't get past this if we don't.

With that said, we'd like to again to tell you how VERY MUCH we appreciate you (our Prayer Warriors online), as well as our community. Everyone has been AMAZING! Thank you ALL for the support you've given!!! Please continue to pray for our family. Only now we ask you to pray for STRENGTH, PEACE AND JOY as our hearts heal and we try to adjust to this painfully "NORMAL" life.

Thanks again for traveling this journey with us!


We love you,
Tonya







God Looks for Clay
1/6/2007

"O house of Israel, can I not do with you as this potter?" says the Lord. "Look, as the clay is in the potter's hand, so are you in My hand, O house of Israel!"
JEREMIAH 18:6

"God knows how to bring salvation to your family, your friends, your community, and your world. Accordingly, He looks for those who will allow Him to shape them into the instruments He requires to do His divine work. Clay has no plans of its own, no aspirations for service, nor reluctance to perform its given task. It is just clay. Moldable, pliable, totally submissive to the will of its master. At times we excitedly announce to God: ""I've discovered my strengths and gifts, and now I know how I can best serve You!"" At other times we inform Him, ""I am aware of what my weaknesses are, so I know which tasks I'm not capable of doing for You."" Yet this is not characteristic of clay. God is not limited to working with our strengths (2 Cor. 12:9-10). He can mold us into whatever kind of instrument He requires. When God's assignment demands humility, he finds a servant willing to be humbled. When His work requires zeal, He looks for someone He can fill with His Spirit. God uses holy vessels so He finds those who will allow Him to remove their impurities. It is not a noble task, being clay. There is no glamour to it, nothing boastworthy, except that it is exactly what almighty God is looking for. Compliant, moldable, yielded clay.

If your tendency is to tell the Father what you can and cannot do for Him, submit to His agenda and allow Him to shape you into the person He wants you to be. Like clay."






You can learn more about Dr. Blackaby, his writings, and his ministry at www.blackaby.org, or write:

Blackaby Ministries International
P.O. Box 16338
Atlanta, GA 30321

Thursday, January 5, 2007 12:18 AM CST

Hello Friends.....

As many of you can imagine (and unfortunately MANY of you KNOW) there is no greater pain on the face of the earth than losing a child. We all expect that one day our parents will pass, perhaps even our siblings, but we NEVER, EVER expect that our child would go before us into eternity. Brent blessed us with the most AMAZING 11 years of our lives. (Of course the other boys are a blessing too) We've lost our son and our best friend. Our boys have lost their brother and THEIR BEST FRIEND ...... the pain is unimaginable. If there is anything that eases the pain it's that we know he's no longer suffering, and most importantly - he's with JESUS! Our sweet boy was so ready to go. Because God allowed us to witness LITERAL CONVERSATIONS between Brent and HIMSELF, we KNOW that Brent not only was ready to meet his maker, he was EXCITED about going!

I wish I had a nice long update for you, but the days have been long and we're so very tired. The mental pull on our heartstrings is EXHAUSTING! We would like to take a moment to THANK EVERYONE for the TREMENDOUS outpouring of love for our family. You will NEVER fully know what a blessing you've been to us.

I'm sure you've all seen the links Susan put on the site for us. I know you've heard us talk lots about Habitat for Hope (which was one of the links). I can't say how much this organization (and founders - Mark & Mylissa Horrocks) mean to us. They've met our housing needs..... keeping our family TOGETHER after Brent relapsed, where before we had to leave the little two behind. They've met our physical needs by bringing (and organizing others to bring) home-cooked meals. Most importantly, they helped to meet our spiritual needs by being QUICK to stop and pray with us WHERE EVER we were. With all of that said, they were also our friends and they stayed with us to the end.

Mark & Mylissa came down to be with our family tonight and told us of the great show of support you've given them in HONOR & MEMORY of Brent. He ADORED this precious family. (They were there with us shortly after Brent went home to be with the Lord and stayed by our sides all the way to the parking lot) Leaving Brent behind was the hardest thing we've ever had to do. I mentioned that he was our best friend..... I wasn't kidding. We shared secrets, jokes, and too many hugs, kisses, and snuggles to ever count. I honestly don't know how we'd go on without him if it weren't for the blessed assurance that we SEE HIM IN HEAVEN again one day.

Oh, I'd also like to send our love to our nurses at St. Jude. They were MORE THAN AMAZING and we love you all like crazy! Thank you SO MUCH for taking such wonderful care of our sweet boy and for making him believe that he WAS INDEED in the GREATEST PLACE ON EARTH! YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME!!!!! (Thanks to those of you who've donated in his Memory to St. Jude too)

I've hated not to update for so long, but until now I just couldn't do it. There is so much I'd love to share with you, about how our Prayer Warriors here, and our community from home have blessed us. For now I'm gonna call it a night. Thank you SO MUCH for praying and for traveling this road beside us. May God BLESS YOU EVERY-ONE!


With great big ((((HUGS)))) from HOME,
Tonya - for Link, Zach & Gabe








Tuesday, January 2, 2007 9:22 AM CST

Hi Everyone,

I just wanted to confirm the visitation for Brent will be at 5:00- 8:00pm at First Baptist Church in Mathiston on Thursday January 4th.

Thanks so much for your great out-pouring of love for this wonderful family! We appreciate you all so much.

Susan

****************************************



Dearest Friends and Family,

For those of you who can attend, Tonya has asked me to let you know that Brent's "Life Celebration Service" will be held on Friday January 5th, at 2:00pm. The service will take place at the First Baptist Church in Mathiston, Mississippi. They are still working on the exact times for the wake, which will be on Thursday evening. I will let you know the exact times as soon as we know later today.

As you can only imagine, this has been an extremely difficult time for Link, Tonya and the whole family. Please continue to pray for God's supernatural strength, and His grace to literally "carry them" for the next few days as they are making these arrangements.. Tonya truly appreciates all the love that has been poured out to her and their whole family. She has been such a rock for all of us for such a long time, it's now our time to help carry her.

If anyone would like to offer a donation in honor of Brent, the family has requested that they be directed to anyone of three very special places that are so dear to their hearts.

They are:

St. Jude Hospital


Habitat for Hope
Lunch for Life for Children's Neuroblastoma


And to Caringbridge.

They would appreciate this greatly as these organizations have ministered so much to this family throughout Brent's journey.

Thanks so much for all of the love you have shown to this amazing family!

With love,

Susan



***************************************




Dear friends, and faithful prayer warriors,

I come to you today to share with you that Brent's valiant battle has been won! Early this morning Brent peacefully woke up into the glorious presence of Jesus. This is the place where all his deepest longings and joys will be fulfilled forever.

Now Brent can finally see Jesus face to face, and worship him day and night. There is no more pain, no more suffering, just joy unspeakable.

Please continue to surround this family with your love, your prayers and words of encouragement. What an honor it has been for me, as well as it has been for many of you to have known and loved Brent.

Death is not the last word. No matter where our journeys lead us, those who know and love the Lord, end up with Him.

Tonya, here is a promise for you;

PS 91:4 "He will cover you with his feathers.
He will shelter you with his wings.
His faithful promises are your armor and protection."

With more love then words could ever express,

Susan



These all had faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them a far off were assured of them, embraced them and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth. For those who say such things declare plainly that they seek a homeland. And truly if they had called to mind that country from which they had come out, they would have had the opportunity to return. But now they desire a better, that is a heavenly country. God is not ashamed to be called their God, for He has prepared a city for them.

Hebrews 11:13-16

Monday January 1, 2007

Ps 46:1
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.

Hello Everyone,

This is Susan. Tonya has asked me to do an update for her tonight. Brent's condition has weakened over the past few days. He is finally resting peacefully. His breathing has been more shallow, and he has requested Tonya to be at his side, where she has been staying now. He is surrounded by his closest family and friends.

Tonya and Link would greatly appreciate your prayers for Brent's continued comfort and peace. The most important role we can all have at this time is to keep Brent and his family in our constant prayers.

Brent is truly an example of one courageous young man who loves the Lord with all his heart. He is fighting a valiant fight. One for which we are all so proud of him. We will keep you posted if anything changes. Thanks so much for all the prayers, words of encouragement and the support you have offered this precious family.

Tonya wanted me to remind everyone how grateful she is for all of you. Gosh, we can all say the same very thing to her. We love you Tonya, and we are all here standing with you.

Susan


****************************************





Hello Friends....

You're SOOOOOO NOT going to believe this! I've typed another COMPLETE update and the stinkin internet explorer shut down on me again!!!!!! UUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Remind me to NOT use this laptop tomorrow night when updating??? O:)

Okay, so the quick version is that we're gonna try a bigger dose of Ativan to help Brent rest. The amount he's been getting (over 24 hours) is still less or even equal to the amount he could get in ONE DOSE!!! Thankfully, if this works, we have A LOT of room to move around on the amount he gets. I'll let you know tomorrow how it worked! :)

As for his sleep last night, they gave him Benedryl every 2 hours to help him rest. We're PRAYING HARD that the Ativan will work a MIRACLE for him!

Man, I sure hate I lost my other update ....... not that there was anything all that great in there, just that it's so time-consuming and after I lose an update I get so frustrated that I don't even want to LOOK at the computer. (Being bad ..... overlook me. HE he he)

Okay, so I guess I'm gonna sign off now. We're expecting Link's family and mine tomorrow so we'd better try and turn in soon. (The hefty (er) dose of Ativan is running in now and we HOPE to all get a GOOD NIGHT'S REST) I'll remember to update tomorrow from WORD instead of just typing it up so that I won't keep running into these problems.

Thanks SO MUCH for checking in on us and for the many prayers you've lifted. We love and appreciate you all SO VERY MUCH!!




Love,
Tonya





Food
12/30/2006

"Jesus said to them, ""My food is to do the will of Him
who sent Me, and to finish His work."""
JOHN 4:34


"Throughout Jesus' ministry, we see a marked difference between His priorities and the concerns of His disciples. The disciples were often preoccupied with how to meet their physical needs (Matt. 14:15-17; John 4:8; Luke 18:28). Jesus repeatedly assured them that the Father knew their needs and would provide (Luke 11:11-13). Jesus stressed that their priority was to ""seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness""; the necessities of daily life would be provided (Matt. 6:33).

When Jesus spoke to the woman at the well, His disciples had gone into a nearby town to get food. While His disciples were seeking earthly nourishment, Jesus was giving this woman ""living water"" that would satisfy her soul for eternity. When they returned, the disciples urged Jesus to eat. He replied that His ""food"" was to do the will of His Father. Since their attention was on earthly matters, His disciples misunderstood His reply. Jesus' very life came from obeying His Father. Because of Jesus' obedience that day, the woman received eternal life. In her excitement, she brought many others to Jesus to hear for themselves, and many believed that He was indeed the Christ, the Savior of the world (John 4:39-42).

The apostle Paul understood what Jesus had been teaching His disciples. When Paul wrote to the believers in Rome, he stressed that ""the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. For he who serves Christ in these things is acceptable to God and approved by men"" (Rom. 14:17-18).

When Satan tempted Jesus to turn stones into bread, Jesus quoted the Scriptures, summarizing the focus of His life and ministry: ""Know that man shall not live by bread alone; but man lives by every word that proceeds from the mouth of the Lord"" (Deut. 8:3)."





You can learn more about Dr. Blackaby, his writings, and his ministry at www.blackaby.org, or write:

Blackaby Ministries International
P.O. Box 16338
Atlanta, GA 30321



Devotion taken from namb.net

Friday, December 29, 2006 11:44 PM CST

Hello Friends.....

This will be a quick update..... I'd started updating a while ago, and was about halfway through when the computer froze up and sent a message saying that Internet Explorer needed to close. Yes, this would've frustrated me on a GOOD day, but tonight it really stressed me out. Well, not really, but I was MOST DEFINITELY NOT HAPPY! I don't know why it happened, but I'm much too tired to replace all the rambling I'd done in the first update.

The only really big news comes in the form of a prayer request. Over the past few days Brent has been REALLY agitated. He's NOT SLEEPING well AT ALL! If/when he does sleep, he's either singing, praying, or talking in his sleep. Those wonderful (PEACEFUL) conversations with God stopped a couple of days ago. Well, not COMPLETELY .... he IS still praying, we're just not witnessing the "conversation" that we were. It's been a MARVELOUS thing to sit and listen to Brent interact, PRAY and sing PRAISES to our KING!!! Again, the only thing we're not seeing is the interaction.... he IS still PRAYIN & PRAISING GOD!!

When thinking about how we're watching him seemingly change (yet again), I try to rationalize everything out. God knows and is in control, even still, I'll ask you to PRAY that our sweet boy can get some MUCH NEEDED SLEEP! If you're wondering, we HAVE tried a FEW things to help him sleep. (Medicines, that is) Last night he asked for Ambien. I had NO IDEA what that was, and wondered how in the world Brent did. Undoubtedly, he picked it up from TV. It's almost SCARY how much our kids pick up isn't it?? (Depending on WHAT we're letting them watch!) There's such a GREAT need to shelter their little innocent minds. Not that Ambien is a bad thing, I'm still hung up on the fact that he remembered something like that from television. I don't know WHY I should be surprised, they quickly learn and repeat everything else. Am I doing some SERIOUS RAMBLING tonight or WHAT???

Oh well, I said all of that to say that we REALLY want to see him get a good night's rest. WHOOPS! I forgot to tell you that he DID get his Ambien, that it DID NOT work for him (he was back awake and talking an hour later) and now we've resorted back to good ole Benedryl! (He got a pretty hefty dose of that this morning which allowed him to sleep a FULL TWO HOURS!) Yeah, it beats NO SLEEP..... but can you imagine going DAYS without a FULL NIGHT'S SLEEP only to get TWO HOURS???? I'm telling you ....... I'd be a MAD WOMAN! (Not mad in an angry way...... I mean LOOPY to the point of someone having to tie me up and put me away somewhere!)

PLEASE PRAY for Brent's mind to settle, his CONSTANT NEED for water to calm, and for PEACE & CLARITY OF MIND! (Remember, GOD IS NOT the author of confusion!) This is a PRAYER THAT HE WILL ANSWER - because we're praying HIS WORD AND in His WILL!

As for a peek inside Brent's room.... We've had LOTS of loved ones to visit. So many that I'm not even going to attempt to start naming. (I KNOW I'd leave SOMEONE out) Okay, so I WILL list a couple of ladies who've visited. You probably heard me mention Ray Perry's Mom (Faye). Well, she and Alli Mills mom (Ms. Nancy) have BOTH stopped in to show their love and support for our family. The thing you may not know is that they BOTH have lost children to neuroblastoma, HERE IN St. Jude. I would say that I don't know HOW they can come back in to a place that holds so many memories (both good and bad) but I DO KNOW. It's because God gives them the strength to do what they do. I can't imagine how it'd feel to walk back into this hospital without Brent. I DO KNOW that God gives us GRACE for what HE has called us to do. Their great expression of LOVE is a TREMENDOUS TESTIMONY to the GOODNESS of our LORD. (MANY, MANY THANKS to EVERYONE who's gone out of their way to show their love and support!)

Okay, so much for a short update huh??? Before I go I want to also say THANKS for the email that many of you have sent. I do intend to write you back, but I'm really behind again and am not spending a whole lot of time online right now. Please know that we APPRECIATE EVERY EFFORT made!!!!!!!


Thanks again for being here for us!

Love,
Tonya





Friday, December 29
Sufficient for the Future

And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness."
2 Corinthians 12:9a


Recommended Reading
2 Corinthians 11:23-29


It's hard for us to imagine the apostle Paul in a state of weakness. But a perusal of 2 Corinthians 6 and 11 shows us that he suffered terribly as an apostle for the sake of Christ. But the most unique experience with weakness that Paul had was one we can learn the most from because it was unnamed. It is the sustaining principle, not the specific problem, which is important.

Paul was made weak by some affliction, and it no doubt concerned him because of its likely impact on his future ministry. How could he serve if he was sidelined by a serious problem? But God said, "Trust me, Paul. I know the future and your future. I will give you grace to do all you need to do." And He did. Paul became thankful for His weakness because it highlighted God's strength. Just as God knew Paul's future, so He knows yours. If you are worried about your future, perhaps this coming year, especially if you see limitations on your horizon, trust God. The same grace He gave Paul, He will give to you.

Your future is not bigger than God, nor are your limitations larger than His grace. Your faith in Him means your future is with Him.


Trust the past to God's mercy, the present to God's love, and the future to God's providence.
St. Augustine

Read-Thru-the-Bible
Psalms 1, 23, and 37

Friday, December 29, 2006 0:36 AM CST

Hello Friends.....

I'm happy to report that we've had another quiet day here in room 2063. Well, TECHNICALLY "quiet" doesn't describe our crew, I REALLY meant "medically speaking." LOL! Brent's pain has been managed WONDERFULLY and other than complaining every so often with a headache or tummy ache he's doing well. Those little complaints are quickly fixed with a press of his pain med button. PRAISE GOD for modern medicine!!

As I started to write this update Brent began praying. His prayers are pretty much the same, he's PRAISING GOD and singing songs (of praise). The REALLY COOL thing is that his heart rate was 137 and as soon as he started praying, the rate started DROPPING! It dropped down to 130 within the first 30 seconds of his prayer. This sort of thing should be documented if it isn't. It's quite remarkable how EVERY TIME we pray for him his numbers DROP! Simply AMAZING!

Our, "You're the BEST Wars" continue here in Brent's room. He's been SO PRECIOUS as he declares his love to everyone. Then, his love stories quickly turn to arguing over just WHO really IS the best! Who KNEW that arguing could be SO MUCH FUN???

Did I mention how BLESSED we've been since we came back to Memphis?? We've not only had lots of loved ones to visit ....... Brent's also had ALL of his favorite nurses to take care of him! Now, remember ...... when I say "favorite," it doesn't mean we don't LOVE them all ........ I'm just saying that he's had ALL of the same SWEET ladies that he's had for so long. Brent has finally settled back in and is no longer anxious when someone in the medical profession comes in his room. With that said, we DO MISS our medical team from Vermont .......... they were AWESOME!! We left so quickly that we missed getting to say good-bye to many of them. God has SURELY BLESSED us by surrounding us with some of the most AMAZING people on the face of the earth! We're also SO VERY THANKFUL that we were able to come HOME!

Okay, I'm rambling ...... I'll wrap this up as always by THANKING YOU for traveling this journey with us. The bond we feel with you is beyond anything I could have asked for. Your support has been AMAZING!



Big (((((HUGS))))) from Memphis to You,
Love,
Tonya






Commended by God
12/28/2006

"For not he who commends himself is approved,
but whom the Lord commends."
2 CORINTHIANS 10:18


"It is common for all of us to seek approval for our actions. As children, we longed for the affirmation of our parents. As we grew older, we also valued the opinions of our friends, colleagues, and employers. At times, the esteem of others can claim such importance that it becomes our way to measure our worth as a person.

Paul said that he was not striving to obtain the approval of people. Some of his critics thought their criticisms could determine what he did. Yet these same people were praising themselves for their own opinions and behavior. They were seeking the approval of others, and they were receiving it.

Jesus said that those who seek to gain the approval of others ""have their own reward"" (Matt. 6:2-5). Paul, too, realized that achieving the praise of others is not difficult, but earning God's approval is a far greater accomplishment. The affirmation ""Well done!"" that Jesus received from the Father became Paul's goal as well (2 Tim. 2:3-5). Paul knew that self-approval is not hard to attain. Paul himself had once been pleased with his own life, until he came to realize that the righteousness he was so proud of was mere rubbish in the kingdom of God (Phil. 3:8). After his conversion, Paul understood that God's evaluation of his actions was what mattered, not his own opinion of himself.

Whose opinion matters most to you? Have you become complacent, enjoying the approval of those around you? Have you become satisfied with your estimation of the way you are living? The commendation that matters most is the one that comes from God. The pleasure that your life gives to God should be your motivation to live righteously."





You can learn more about Dr. Blackaby, his writings, and his ministry at www.blackaby.org, or write:

Blackaby Ministries International
P.O. Box 16338
Atlanta, GA 30321




Devotion taken from namb.net

Thursday, December 28, 2006 0:09 AM CST

Artist: Chris Tomlin
Song: This Is Our God
Album: The Noise We Make

A refuge for the poor, a shelter from the storm
This is our God

He will wipe away your tears and return your
wasted years
This is our God
Oh... this is our God

A father to the orphan, a healer to the broken
This is our God

And he brings peace to our madness and comfort
in our sadness
This is our God
Oh... this is our God

this is the one we have waited for
Oh... this is our God

A fountain for the thirsty, a lover for the lonely
This is our God

He brings glory to the humble and crowns for the
faithful
This is our God

Hello Friends.....

For those of you who have their speakers turned up, I'm sure you noticed that I changed the song on the site again. As you can see (above) the lyrics are just BEAUTIFUL! It's almost as if it were written just for us. God's AWESOME that way isn't He?? I've always been TERRIBLY AMUSED that NO MATTER WHAT'S going on in our lives, we can open the Bible and it speaks as if it were written just for the time and situation we're in. I remember so vividly the night we learned we'd lost our 3rd baby. (I had to go home and wait till I could have the DNC) As I tried to find sleep that night, I remember thinking that I HAD to get up and PRAY! I asked God to show me SOMETHING to let me know that things were going to be okay. I opened the Bible to find this .....

Jeremiah 31:1-17 (New Living Translation)
Hope for Restoration

“In that day,” says the Lord, “I will be the God of all the families of Israel, and they will be my people. 2 This is what the Lord says:
“Those who survive the coming destruction
will find blessings even in the barren land,
for I will give rest to the people of Israel.”

3 Long ago the Lord said to Israel:
“I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love.
With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself.
4 I will rebuild you, my virgin Israel.

you will again be happy
and dance merrily with your tambourines.
5 Again you will plant your vineyards on the mountains of Samaria
and eat from your own gardens there.
6 The day will come when watchmen will shout
from the hill country of Ephraim,
‘Come, let us go up to Jerusalem[a]
to worship the Lord our God.’”

7 Now this is what the Lord says:
“Sing with joy for Israel.[b]
Shout for the greatest of nations!
Shout out with praise and joy:
‘Save your people, O Lord,
the remnant of Israel!’
8 For I will bring them from the north
and from the distant corners of the earth.
I will not forget the blind and lame,
the expectant mothers and women in labor.
A great company will return!
9 Tears of joy will stream down their faces,
and I will lead them home with great care.
They will walk beside quiet streams
and on smooth paths where they will not stumble.
For I am Israel’s father,
and Ephraim is my oldest child.

10 “Listen to this message from the Lord,
you nations of the world;
proclaim it in distant coastlands:
The Lord, who scattered his people,
will gather them and watch over them
as a shepherd does his flock.
11 For the Lord has redeemed Israel
from those too strong for them.
12 They will come home and sing songs of joy on the heights of Jerusalem.
They will be radiant because of the Lord’s good gifts—
the abundant crops of grain, new wine, and olive oil,
and the healthy flocks and herds.
Their life will be like a watered garden,
and all their sorrows will be gone.
13 The young women will dance for joy,
and the men—old and young—will join in the celebration.
I will turn their mourning into joy.
I will comfort them and exchange their sorrow for rejoicing.
14 The priests will enjoy abundance,
and my people will feast on my good gifts.
I, the Lord, have spoken!”

Rachel’s Sadness Turns to Joy

15 This is what the Lord says:
“A cry is heard in Ramah—
deep anguish and bitter weeping.
Rachel weeps for her children,
refusing to be comforted—
for her children are gone.”

16 But now this is what the Lord says:
“Do not weep any longer,
for I will reward you,” says the Lord.
“Your children will come back to you
from the distant land of the enemy.
17 There is hope for your future,” says the Lord.
“Your children will come again to their own land.

There were other passages that I found that night, but this (to this day) still rings loud in my heart.

At that time, experiencing the greatest grief of my life ..... I didn't know how long the pain and despair I was feeling would last. All that I wanted was to KNOW that it WOULD get better. Of all the places in the Bible I might have found that night - I opened to a passage about a woman weeping because her children were gone. Within that, a BEAUTIFUL PROMISE from GOD that HE WOULD turn my mourning into JOY! There's been A LOT of heartache in my life (As I'm sure it has for everyone) but each trial has taught me to trust God MORE and to KNOW that HE ALWAYS carries us through. I guess I said all of that to say that although this is by far the HARDEST thing we've ever had to face. We are at peace with our Lord KNOWING that HE IS GOOD and that Brent will be made WHOLE - NO PAIN, NO SICKNESS, NO MORE feeling left out because he can't keep up with his brothers and friends. We KNOW that we'll MISS him like crazy, but how could we be sad for HIM? He'll FINALLY have the PRIZE that's set before him!

I've shared with you some of the amazing things he's said to God in recent days. YESTERDAY "took the cake!" I sat here eavesdropping on another conversation between Brent and God and got COLD CHILLS as I heard what he said. Brent was saying ............

"Please God, I just want to see HIM ....... just for a second, I just want to see HIM!"

That went on for a few minutes and Brent closed his prayer. I was a little awe-struck, but as the day went on I forgot the conversation I overheard. THEN, last night as he started to drift off to sleep he started to pray again. This time it was different. Brent was saying, "I'm SO SORRY, GOD!" I just wanted to see You ...... I'm SORRY I tried to look!"

WHOA!!!!!! It's like Brent was standing in the room with God, having his conversation and being the curious little boy he is he tried to sneak a peek! I'm assuming that God told him that he couldn't see HIM ........ YET! Before his talk with God ended, Brent started to ask ............. "God, it won't be long will it?? Will it be long?" (I'm assuming he's trying to persuade God to let him go/see HIM then) Brent then paused and said, "That's what I thought, it won't be long."

This whole situation reminds me of another passage in the Bible.

Exodus 33:12-23 (New Living Translation

Moses Sees the Lord’s Glory
12 One day Moses said to the Lord, “You have been telling me, ‘Take these people up to the Promised Land.’ But you haven’t told me whom you will send with me. You have told me, ‘I know you by name, and I look favorably on you.’ 13 If it is true that you look favorably on me, let me know your ways so I may understand you more fully and continue to enjoy your favor. And remember that this nation is your very own people.”
14 The Lord replied, “I will personally go with you, Moses, and I will give you rest—everything will be fine for you.”

15 Then Moses said, “If you don’t personally go with us, don’t make us leave this place. 16 How will anyone know that you look favorably on me—on me and on your people—if you don’t go with us? For your presence among us sets your people and me apart from all other people on the earth.”

17 The Lord replied to Moses, “I will indeed do what you have asked, for I look favorably on you, and I know you by name.”

18 Moses responded, “Then show me your glorious presence.”

19 The Lord replied, “I will make all my goodness pass before you, and I will call out my name, Yahweh,[a] before you. For I will show mercy to anyone I choose, and I will show compassion to anyone I choose. 20 But you may not look directly at my face, for no one may see me and live.” 21 The Lord continued, “Look, stand near me on this rock. 22 As my glorious presence passes by, I will hide you in the crevice of the rock and cover you with my hand until I have passed by. 23 Then I will remove my hand and let you see me from behind. But my face will not be seen.”

See, Brent has SEEN the GLORY of the Lord, but he can't see God's FACE until it's time to GO! As hard as it is to think of life without Brent, it's SO VERY EXCITING to think about what he's seeing! He's in a place right now (spiritually) that many will never (on this earth) be. We're GREATLY ENCOURAGED by God allowing us to witness this part of Brent's passage. To know that he's already SO VERY EXCITED about going HOME! (No, he still doesn't know in the physical realm, but his SPIRIT is RARING TO GO!) Another beautiful thing we've witnessed is how much Brent wants to PRAISE HIS LORD! He's been singing hymns and PRAISES to God almost constantly! (Unless he's wide awake) Tonight, he started humming, then singing a praise song we learned in church. Before long Shannon & Kerry, Ashley & Clay, Link, Zach, Gabe & I were all standing around his bed singing with him......



I LOVE YOU LORD........

AND I life my VOICE......

TO WORSHIP YOU ......

OH MY SOUL, REJOICE!



TAKE JOY my KING.......

IN WHAT YOU hear......

May it be a SWEET, SWEET SOUND, IN YOUR EAR!!!





Yep, our most amazing little man is keeping us all in a spirit of PRAISE & WORSHIP! How AWESOME IS THAT??





We continue to have "YOU'RE THE BEST" wars in Brent's room. He's been so precious in declaring his LOVE to everyone! My heart is SO FULL it sometimes feel as though it'll explode. I keep thinking how I wish you all had the chance to meet him. Thankfully, if your home is in HEAVEN - one day you will! We sure can't wait to get there!!!




Okay, I've kept you WAY TOO LONG so I guess I'll call it a night and sign off. Before I go I want to THANK YOU ALL for being here for us and for the many, MANY prayers you've lifted for our boy! We can DEFINITELY FEEL them all!!!



We LOVE YOU,

Tonya









Have This Mind in You
12/27/2006

Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus.
PHILIPPIANS 2:5


"Attitudes do not just happen; we choose them. Paul urged believers to have the same attitude that Jesus had. Jesus was the Son of God. His place was at the right hand of His Father, ruling the universe. No position could be more glorious or honorable than the right hand of the heavenly Father. Jesus' relationship with the Father gave Him the right to this honor.

Jesus chose not to hold on to this right. Nothing, not even His position in heaven, was so precious to Him that He could not give it up if His Father asked Him. His love for His Father compelled Him to make any sacrifice necessary in order to be obedient to Him. When the Father required a spotless sacrifice for the redemption of humanity, Jesus did not cling to His rights, nor did He argue that He should not have to suffer for the sins of rebellious creatures of dust (Isa. 53:7). Rather, He relinquished the glory of His heavenly existence in order to become a man. He was born in a cattle shed; he slept in a feeding trough. His life was spent preparing for the day when He would suffer an excruciating execution. All of this He did willingly.

We are tempted to hold tightly to things God has given us. We say, ""I would be willing to give up anything God asked of me, but I just don't think He would ask me to give anything up!"" The Father asked His Son to make radical adjustments in His life. Can we not expect that He will ask us to sacrifice privileges and comforts as well?

If you find yourself resisting every time God seeks to adjust your life to His will, ask the Spirit to give you the same selfless attitude that Jesus demonstrated."





You can learn more about Dr. Blackaby, his writings, and his ministry at www.blackaby.org, or write:

Blackaby Ministries International
P.O. Box 16338
Atlanta, GA 30321




Devotion taken from namb.net

Tuesday, December 26, 2006 5:03 PM CST

Hello Friends.....

How was your Christmas?? Ours, well, there's really not an easy way to answer that. We're EXTREMELY BLESSED to have had another Christmas with Brent, but then again it's very painful to know that it was our last. (UNLESS God works a miracle!) We all "held up" really well. It was MOST DEFINITELY NOT the Christmas we'd hoped for, and then again, how can we NOT be thankful?? I'd mentioned earlier that Christmas would be on a much smaller scale (than normal) this year and we'd set our hearts on the REAL REASON FOR THE SEASON. Even still, I felt a little guilty for not making it all that it could be for the boys. I don't know who was behind it, but St. Jude provided gifts for the boys IN A HUGE WAY! They each had a bag (about the size of a 30 gallon garbage bag or bigger) and they had some AWESOME gifts inside. I mean the kinds of things I'd have picked out myself. It's mind-boggling how GOD CONTINUES to provide for us. Now, don't get me wrong - I am in NO WAY one who'll tell you that God wants us all to live in a mansion and drive the most expensive automobiles. He DID and DOES bless his people in HUGE WAYS. Don't take that to mean that we're extremists on the other end of that spectrum either. We don't believe that it's not scriptural to have nice things. When I said that God provided a nice Christmas, I mean that this was one of those times that He went ABOVE AND BEYOND ANYTHING that we'd have expected. That's just like HIM - to pull close those who are hurting and broken and show that HE CAN INDEED be trusted to mend the broken hearts and meet all needs. (WHOOPS - one of those times I'm OVER-EXPLAINING things .... LOL! SORRY)

As I mentioned the other day, we celebrated Christmas with my folks Christmas Eve. Link's family was here yesterday and we exchanged gifts. It's been WONDERFUL to be surrounded by so many LOVED ONES! We miss our friends in Vermont, but are so BLESSED to be HOME!!! (Okay, so this isn't TECHNICALLY HOME, but it's the next best thing!) :)

Now, as for Brent's physical condition ......well, his pain is managed (he's comfortable) but he's getting tired of not being able to use his hands. He got upset SEVERAL times yesterday because he wanted to play the things his brothers were playing and couldn't. Even "old faithful" (his ps2) wasn't so faithful. His poor little hands can't maneuver the controls like they should. That's been really hard on him because in past times (weak legs, being sick, or knees that were too painful to stand) he could ALWAYS rely on his playstation. These are the heartbreaking things that make the idea of his going home all the more bearable. He's just too precious to have to endure the things he's dealt with. No, we're not questioning God, HE'S FAITHFUL, Sovereign, and Just even when we can't understand why He works the way He does. I'm just saying that we're so tired of watching him battle with things that we all take for granted daily. If it didn't make him sad, it'd just be another hurdle ....... but Brent's even said recently that he just wants to be a normal kid. UUGGHHH! I just HATE that I can't kiss this and make it all better. It really, REALLY STINKS!

Okay, you know I can't stand lingering on the negative ....... so I'll leave you with some of his happy moments. Brent's had his best buddy Clay close by and has thoroughly enjoyed getting to hang out. He also discovered while in Vermont that he LOVES those crazy "Ernest" movies. He's having FITS for "Ernest saves Christmas!" He's really been the greatest kid ............ he never really complains and has been so thoughtful of all around him.

To share a few 'funnies' from inside Brent's room ............

Brent has a FANTASTIC bed! It rotates him (to keep him off his pressure points) and the thing he finds MOST fascinating is that it VIBRATES him. He just LOVES IT!!! Well, the other day he'd asked me to put his bed on vibrate. While I was fumbling around trying to find out how it works he asked for a drink of water. Kerry quickly went to his side and started towards him with the cup of water. Would you believe at the EXACT moment Kerry leaned towards him with his drink the bed started working?? He was shaking like crazy and looked towards me and said, "YOU STINKER!" Okay, so maybe this is one of those things you had to be there for ...... but it was SOOOOOOOO FUNNY!

Another thing he did, in TRUE Brent style, came from a conversation Brent was having with Mark. (Mark Horrocks- with Habitat for Hope) Undoubtedly Mark was messing with Brent because Brent turned towards Mark and said, You'd better watch it ..... I'm trying to be nice to YOU! This was another of those times where we all cracked up. Brent and Mark have a special bond - they don't seem happy if they aren't irritating each other. LOL!!!

I'll have to start making notes to remember all of those belly-laughs that Brent seems to bring on. He's really quite the character when he's up to it.

Oh, before I go I'd like to say a special THANK YOU to the Burfords for providing us with a WONDERFUL Christmas dinner yesterday. The food was FANTASTIC and knowing that someone went out of their way to share their special lunch was humbling. (I think Heather told me that her Mother-in-Law made it) If you have a moment stop by and say hello to Brady Burford and his family. Brady is a fellow neuroblastoma warrior and is currently "No Evidence of Disease!" PRAISE GOD!!!!

Alrighty, My Friends, I guess I'm gonna sign off now. Thanks SO MUCH for your love and support! We'd like to ask you to keep praying for his COMPLETE EARTHLY HEALING, but ultimately God's Will be done!


We LOVE YOU,
Tonya






Nothing Will Be Impossible
12/26/2006

For with God nothing will be impossible.
LUKE 1:37


"The angel Gabriel told Mary that God was planning to do something humanly impossible. All human logic would agree that a virgin could not give birth to a child. It was impossible. Yet this is exactly what was to happen. When God speaks of doing the impossible, it is no longer absurd. When was the last time God did the impossible in your life? When was the last time God spoke to you about what He wanted to do and you were scared to death by its magnitude?

God still does the impossible! Too often we acknowledge our belief that God can do whatever He wants, then we add a safety clause: ""But I just don't think God will do that with me!"" We become practical atheists, believing that God can perform miracles but never expecting a miracle in our own lives.

God wanted to bring salvation to all of humanity. It is critical that Mary not only believed God could perform a miracle but also adjusted her life to the awesome work He planned to do through her. The difference between a Christian and a moral person is the divine. The difference between a church and a social club is the miraculous. Some can duplicate the morality of a Christian, but no one can reproduce the miraculous that should be a part of the Christian experience. Do you believe that nothing is impossible for God?"





You can learn more about Dr. Blackaby, his writings, and his ministry at www.blackaby.org, or write:

Blackaby Ministries International
P.O. Box 16338
Atlanta, GA 30321





Devotion taken from namb.net

Sunday, December 24, 2006 11:23 PM CST

Hello & Merry CHRISTmas, My Friends!!!

Once again I find myself tired beyond words, but I couldn't turn in tonight without updating on our boy and coming to wish you the VERY BEST Christmas EVER!

Brent has continued to AMAZE us. One of the doctors from Vermont said a few times that, "He looks GREAT on paper." Well, that's a good way to describe him now. If you look at his vitals, his labs, his strength ..... you'd NEVER KNOW there is an all out war going on in his body. It's SO EASY to SEE God's HAND of PROTECTION ALL OVER HIM!! How else can you explain how WONDERFULLY he's doing "under these circumstances?" We're SO VERY THANKFUL to have these good days with Brent!

I've been sharing these little glimpses into Heaven, or should I say glimpses of Jesus? Kerry told me today of a conversation she heard Brent having with God. (I'd fallen asleep in the chair and missed it.) She said Brent was asking God to "encourage Mom & Dad." He later asked (with his eyes closed) ....... "Mom, is that YOU standing beside me?" We've been in AWE of the conversations we're being allowed to listen in on. The PEACE that God's given us through this is a MIRACLE in itself. There is no other way to describe it.

I mentioned yesterday that we got to see Ray Perry's Mom, which truly BLESSED US BEYOND WORDS! I failed to mention that we got to meet TWO of our Prayer Warriors! Ms. Angie came up from South Haven (sp?) Mississippi and brought gifts for everyone. It's always a DELIGHT to meet those who've been lifting our sweet boy to our LORD! Later in the day we got to meet Ms. Vicki Price. (We even got a phone call from a Prayer Warrior in Missouri - I think ..... my memory is just HORRIBLE!) It's been mind-boggling how WONDERFUL everyone has been to us.

As for Christmas ........ We celebrated with my family last night, will have our own private Christmas early in the morning and will celebrate with Link's family around noon. To be honest, nobody is really in the mood to do the "Traditional, American Christmas thing," but then again it's not really about the gifts anyway. We're more aware now than ever that we were sent into this world to WORSHIP God, and fulfill our purpose. We're SO VERY THANKFUL to still be together as a family of 5. (That'd be 6 if you count the baby we lost before Gabe) It's ALL ABOUT JESUS and we'll MOST DEFINITELY be FOCUSED ON HIM!!

If you're worried that we're shorting the kids ..... we ordered Brent's gift and my sister picked up a few things for him and the boys. (She actually picked up gifts for Link and me to exchange too! Bless her sweet heart!) Again, we want our family to focus on our blessings ...... and to make this Christmas memorable. I know it'll be one that we will NEVER forget!

If Brent could tell you anything tonight ...... I KNOW he'd want to tell you about his JESUS! If we have anyone with us who doesn't KNOW HIM as their LORD and SAVIOR we'd like to invite you meet HIM now. There is a link at the bottom of the site, if you click on it - it will walk you through the plan of salvation. I realize that there are some (perhaps MANY) who don't BELIEVE. I want to tell you that our JESUS has been RIGHT BESIDE US EVERY STEP OF THE WAY! We've seen MIRACLES, PEACE and DIRECTION that can't be explained away. I did some research if anyone is interested in why we BELIEVE that Jesus IS THE CHRIST. Just say a prayer and ask God to open your eyes to the TRUTH, then click CLICK HERE and read it for yourself. I'd LOVE to talk with anyone who might want more info.

Okay, as always I'm sure I'm leaving out TONS of info, but for now I'm ready to turn in. THANK YOU ALL for walking beside us on this journey. You've been a TREMENDOUS SOURCE OF ENCOURAGEMENT!


We LOVE YOU ALL and wish you a VERY, MERRY Christmas!
Tonya, for Link, Brent, Zach & Gabe






Blessed in Believing
12/24/2006

"Blessed is she who believed, for there will be a fulfillment of
those things which were told her from the Lord."
LUKE 1:45


"In the kingdom of God, believing is a prerequisite to receiving. God spoke to Mary and gave the assurances He always gives when He assigns the impossible to His people. Everything was in place for God to act. Everything waited on Mary to believe Him. Once she believed, it was done! It takes an undivided heart to believe under such circumstances and a pure heart to see God (Matt. 5:8; Heb. 12:14).

This has always been God's way with His people. Mary could not see all that had been arranged and assembled in the courts of heaven. She could not see the legions of angels prepared to protect her and her baby. She was unaware of the future and all that she and her child would face. All she knew was that God had spoken to her, and that was enough. So she responded: ""Behold the maidservant of the Lord! Let it be to me according to your word"" (Luke 1:38).

When God speaks about His plans, He does so with everything already in place to fulfill His word. God never speaks hypothetically. He knows exactly what will come to pass. He simply asks you to believe Him. You will experience great blessing when you place your absolute trust in Him. Mary could not have dreamed all that would result from her faithful obedience. Likewise, you cannot possibly imagine all that God has in store for you when you trust Him. He knows exactly what He will do to bring salvation to someone you have prayed for or to heal your friend or to provide for your needs. God has everything in place. Will you believe Him?"





You can learn more about Dr. Blackaby, his writings, and his ministry at www.blackaby.org, or write:

Blackaby Ministries International
P.O. Box 16338
Atlanta, GA 30321





Devotion taken from namb.net

Saturday, December 23, 2006 9:34 PM CST

Jesus Rose From Death

MATTHEW 28:5-6 NKJ

5 But the angel answered and said to the women, "Do not be
afraid, for I know that you seek Jesus who was crucified.
6 "He is not here; for He is risen, as He said. Come, see the
place where the Lord lay.

Jesus Christ's resurrection is either the supreme fact in
history or a gigantic hoax. If Christ's resurrection is true --
we ignore its implications at our own peril. If not, then
Christianity is the biggest fraud in the history of the world.

Christ's resurrection forces the question of Christianity's
validity from being merely a philosophical issue to being a
historical one.

The resurrection of Jesus Christ is a fact verifiable from
history. No one can challenge Christ's resurrection -- if they
take an honest look at the evidence.

Only those who never study the evidence -- or who refuse to
listen to its testimony -- could deny the resurrection of Jesus
Christ.

Many learned men have tried to disprove Christ's resurrection --
only to become believers instead!

Some people refuse to examine the evidence, because they do not
want to believe in Jesus Christ and submit to Him as Lord.

The facts remain. Confucius' tomb, Buddha's tomb, Mohammed's
tomb, and Lenin's tomb are all occupied.

But Jesus Christ's tomb is EMPTY!


REVELATION 1:18 NKJ

18 "I am He who lives, and was dead, and behold, I am alive
forevermore. Amen. And I have the keys of Hades and of Death."

SAY THIS: I believe that Jesus Christ rose from death.

Friday, December 22, 2006 9:26 AM CST

Hello Friends,

I hate it's been so long between updates. I always TRY to let you know what's going on at least once in a 24 hour period, but over the past 3 or 4 days (excluding last night) we MIGHT have had a total of 7 hours of sleep. We're not complaining, just saying that when we had a moment to grab some sleep .... we did!

Yesterday was full of all sorts of emotions, so full that I don't even know WHERE to begin. Actually, the best place to start would be by admitting that I forgot to mention that YESTERDAY was Gabe's birthday. (It was also Virginia's birthday - she's Link's sister) I've been KNOWING that it was coming up, but we've been so tired and so stressed that I COMPLETELY FORGOT to mention it. It was only when Gabe told me, "Mom, today I'm SIX!" that I realized. My apologies to both Gabe and Virginia for forgetting to mention you. O:)

As I admit to having forgot our baby's birthday, I want to say a VERY SPECIAL THANKS to our family and friends who were here and were able to make him feel special. MANY, MANY THANKS to Mark & Mylissa (Habitat for Hope) for providing cake and for pulling the 'party' together!! If you've got a moment check them out habitatforhope.org

Now, about Brent .......... he had a TERRIBLE night Wednesday night. It was HORRIBLE!!!! I'd decided I'd sleep in the parent room because I was BEAT. Sometime around 1 am Link came to get me telling me that Brent had been in EXCRUCIATING pain, that they'd given him TONS of pain meds (and some sedating meds) and NOTHING was working. We sat with him praying for his comfort, listening to him cry out to God, and assuring him that GOD LOVES him. (He was beginning to ask, "Don't You hear me Lord?") We were surrounded by several of his nurses -who came in because they love him. I felt like God was surely about to take him HOME.

We're always thankful for every NEW "tomorrow" that God gives us as a family of FIVE. Brent awoke yesterday to a MUCH BETTER DAY! (He acknowledged that God had answered his prayers and asked forgiveness for being impatient.... how sweet is that? Oh, just so that you know ..... we DID assure him that God understands how he feels now and that HE LOVES HIM LIKE CRAZY!!)

He sent me to ask his nurse practitioner if we could get the N-G tube OUT! (Or is it N-D?) Mrs. JoAnn quickly got the ball rolling and within minutes it was OUT!! (You should've heard him ...... I LOVE Mrs. JoAnn, SHE'S THE BEST! I REALLY, REALLY LOVE HER I told him that he should tell her, so before she left again he did! This boy has been JUST PRECIOUS!!!!!

Last night he told us that he wished Joni was in here because he wanted to tell her that he loves her and give her a hug and a kiss. (Remember, she's his favorite SECOND FLOOR nurse.... HE LOVES & ADORES them ALL, but there is a SPECIAL BOND between Joni & Brent.... same thing for Mrs. JoAnn) We asked him did he want us to go get her and he did. (She's been taking care of him the past couple of days) I figured he'd go shy on us before he did it, but he didn't. He told her how much he adores her and gave SEVERAL SMOOCHES! (Too bad Mrs. JoAnn wasn't still here ..... he'd have gotten her too!) :)

YEP, our sweet little man has been so precious in expressing his love to all of us. It's almost like we're fighting in here ......

Brent -- "You're the best, I love you SOOOO MUCH!"

Link and/or Me ---- "No, YOU'RE THE BEST ....... and we LOVE YOU SOOOO MUCH!!!


I even got him tickled yesterday when I asked if he remembered watching Toy Story and the part where Buzz Lightyear says, "To infinity AND BEYOND!!!!" He said yes, he remembered the movie. I then told him that that's how much we LOVE HIM!

If you're wondering, Yes, he IS still talking to Jesus! I mentioned yesterday that I wasn't "claiming" that when Brent was in one of those conversations that Jesus was talking back. I LOVED what you guys had to say about that. I TOO think that he's actually IN a conversation, but didn't know if I'd be "Biblically correct" so I wasn't gonna go out and mislead anyone. After hearing him in one of his prayer sessions I decided that THIS IS THE WAY WE SHOULD ALL BE PRAYING! I can't tell you how many times I've prayed a "one sided prayer," and not stopped to listen to what the Lord was saying back to me. Brent's ACTUALLY PRAYING AND LISTENING to God! If you are hesitant to believe that God STILL speaks to HIS people, I'd like to encourage you to do the "Experiencing God" study by Dr. Henry Blackaby. (He's the man who writes the devotions that I use at the bottom of every update) Okay ...... You KNEW I had a scripture coming didn't you??? LOL!!

He who belongs to God hears what God says. The reason you do not hear is that you do not belong to God." (John 8:47 NIV)

Friday, December 22, 2006 7:09 AM CST

Morning Friends ...

Just checking in quickly to say that I'm working on the update. I hate to let a full day pass between updates, but we've had some long nights and I was just too tired to do it last night.

If you want the short version, Brent had a MUCH BETTER night last night than the two nights before. (PRAISE GOD!) There's a lot to tell, so it might be a bit before the next update is posted, but I HOPE to have it done in an hour or so.

Have a BLESSED DAY!
Love,
Tonya

Wednesday, December 20, 2006 10:45 PM CST

Hello Friends .......

Just checking in quickly to let you know that Brent has had an "okay" day. He woke up around 3 this morning in terrible pain. After making several adjustments to his meds he's FINALLY comfortable. (Well, almost) It's been really hard to watch him and SEE how TIRED he is of all this stinkin cancer stuff! He asked today if he could get up and walk. (I guess he forgot that he can't move his feet and legs??) He's been praying so much in his sleep that he sometimes replies, "Yes, Lord," instead of "Yes, Ma'am (Or Sir) There've been many times today that he'd say, "I LOVE YOU LORD, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH LORD!" Once he even said, "This is a BEAUTIFUL PLACE ..... I LOVE IT!" Okay, I don't know HOW to explain that, but I can say it brings PEACE to know he's talking to Jesus! (Not claiming that Jesus is talking back, but how AWESOME is it that this boy is so engrossed in prayer - even while he's sleeping?) I even heard him asking God to bless our troops during one of his prayers. AAAWWWWW!!

As for the rest of us .......... well, we're holding up much better than I ever dreamed we would or could. We have our moments where we HAVE to leave the room and collect ourselves, but we're DEFINITELY EXPERIENCING that "Peace that PASSES understanding!" God is good ....... we're SO VERY BLESSED to know and serve a LIVING SAVIOR!

Once again ...... I'm tired beyond words and am gonna have to wrap this up and head off to bed. I'd like to ask you to pray some things for Brent. First and foremost we're STILL asking God to heal Brent, but ultimately we're asking HIS WILL be done. Second, Brent has been complaining some about feeling as though he's struggling to breathe. This could be from the tumor on his trachea, the one around his neck, or any other number of other things. Watching him panic about breathing is one of the hardest things yet. PLEASE PRAY that he will have NO PROBLEMS with his breathing. Please also ask that if God is going to take him HOME, that He'll do it quickly and without Brent having to suffer. We've wished a thousand times over that we could trade places with him ...... unfortunately, we can't. We are at peace knowing that Jesus already died for our healing - both spiritually and physically. Brent WILL GET HIS COMPLETE HEALING ONE way or the other. It's our selfish human desire to keep him. GOD'S WILL be done.

Thanks SO VERY MUCH for praying and for being here for us! We appreciate you more than you'll ever know!


Keep PRAYING & BELIEVING ..........
Love,
Tonya





Opposition!
12/20/2006

An angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream, saying, "Arise, take the young Child and His mother, flee to Egypt, and stay there until I bring you word;for Herod will seek the young Child to destroy Him."
MATTHEW 2:13


"Whenever God clearly speaks to you and you obey His will, you can expect to face opposition. Spiritual assaults and attacks by the ungodly are not always signs that you are out of the will of God; they may even indicate that you are in the very center of God's will. Mary's husband, Joseph, was a righteous man who feared God, yet his obedience to God forced him to flee for his life to a foreign country. Joseph's hardship came, not because of his sin, but because of his obedience. Although Joseph and Mary were forced to move to another country, they remained in the center of God's will.

Jesus warned His disciples to expect persecution from the world as they obeyed the Father. He reminded them that they would not face persecution alone, for Jesus, too, had faced the hostility of the world and had been victorious (John 16:33).

Don't become discouraged when you face opposition. Opposition may indicate that you are acting in obedience to God. Do not let opposition cause you to doubt God's will. Examine your heart. If you have done what you know He has asked you to do, trust Him to see you through the antagonism that comes from those who are not walking with Him. When they encountered persecution, the disciples did not ask God to remove their opponents, but to give them boldness as they faced opposition (Acts 4:24-31). God's will for you may involve hardship, as it did for His Son (John 15:20), but He loves you and will not allow you to face more than you are able to handle."





You can learn more about Dr. Blackaby, his writings, and his ministry at www.blackaby.org, or write:

Blackaby Ministries International
P.O. Box 16338
Atlanta, GA 30321




Devotion taken from namb.net

Tuesday, December 19, 2006 10:55 PM CST

Hello Friends....

Sorry it's been so long since you last heard from us, I know you know how crazy the past couple of days have been trying to pack up our lives (yet again) to head back to Memphis. There were SO MANY WONDERFUL nurses & doctors to come by and say good-bye to Brent and our family. Our friend Pat, one of Brent's ICU nurses, brought us a HUGE tray of food on Sunday. Another brought Brent a souviner he'd picked up for him in Canada. His Nurse Sara came on her day off just to say farewell. We're also especially attached to the "Child Life" crew and our Social Worker, Penny. There was also a precious lady named Hedi (sp?) who was so brave as to take Gabe to the movies with her daughters. We also got to meet the Sunday-Sundae man, Mr. Mark. We heard he's been volunteering there for about 13 years. He goes around EVERY Sunday making Sundaes for the kids, and families! He too braved taking the kids out! I KNOW I'm leaving someone out, and I'm SO SORRY if I am. My poor little brain is SO VERY TIRED! (And I put emphasis on the word "little." LOL!!) These were ALL, AMAZING PEOPLE, and we already miss them like crazy!!

We tried to make the "send off" as much fun as possible for Brent, we wanted him to feel special and ensure a VERY HAPPY HOMECOMING! Our Air Ambulance nurses helped to make him feel EXTRA special by pointing out that there aren't many kids who get their own personal JET to fly them home! Another nurse pointed out to us that if AirForce One wanted to land in the same space at the exact same time we were that they'd have to wait on us! (Because we were a medical emergency) Yep, we had our sweet boy's beautiful head SWELLING! He he he ........ Don't you agree that he deserves it?? :)

We were met at the airport here in Memphis by an ambulance - which even used the lights and sirens to transport us to St. Jude. (Remember, he's 11 ..... he thought it was AWESOME!!) Don't think for one minute that Brent didn't think he was BIG STUFF from all the attention!! Which is EXACTLY what we were hoping for!

When we arrived at the hospital we were met by Bro. Archie & Mrs. Rhonda, Brad & Dana, Meredith & Brian, Mrs. Tommie, Mark & Mylissa, Steve & Tisha, and Janell. What a WONDERFUL WELCOMING COMMITTEE we had! Brent's also had LOTS of his favorite nurses from here to stop in and welcome him back. Mrs. Rachel even brought some Sweet Potato Bread! (YUMMY!) Man, we're SO BLESSED to be surrounded by so many wonderful people!!

Today we got to see Link's sister, Virginia and her two daughters. (Addison & Lora Beth) Then Aunt Bibbie showed up with Pap-Paw Sam & Mam-Maw Barbara. (Link's parents) Sometime around noon my parents and my cousin Cindy came. Tonight Mark & Mylissa came by and then Brian, Meredith and Brad came all the way back to Memphis to keep the little ones. We can keep them here at the hospital, but they DEFINITELY needed to get OUT for a while. Oh, did I mention that Ashley & Ed brought us the MOST AMAZING SUPPER???? Did I also mention how BLESSED WE ARE??????? WOW!! It's been AWESOME to be HOME again!! We've missed our family and friends more than we could say..... but being able to say that we did everything under the sun to fight for Brent was MORE THAN WORTH IT!!!!!!!

Now, about friends and family coming to visit ..... we've had lots of folks asking what they can do for us, what can they bring?? Just as Susan mentioned when she updated for us, all we want people to bring is LOTS OF LOVE, JOY AND LAUGHTER!!!!!! It's been SO NICE to be surrounded by so many loved ones!! (Keeps our minds busy, ya know??) :)


As for being back ........... it was DEFINITELY MEDICINE for Brent's sweet heart! He was SO CHATTY on the plane ....... he kept saying, "This is AWESOME ..... THIS ROCKS ...... THIS IS GORGEOUS!!" That's just another way that he's so special ......... he NEVER passes the chance to recognize the beauty and blessings around him. MAN, I wish you all knew him the way we do! He's the most amazing 11 year old kid EVER!!!

Alrighty ............. I've been doing lots of rambling and could talk for HOURS about all the ways God has blessed us. For now I'm EXHAUSTED and really should try to get some sleep. Before we sign off for the night I want to thank each of you for your support! It's an AMAZING thing to know we have so many people praying for our sweetheart! I would again like to stress that we've NOT given up on our LORD! He can still step in at ANY MOMENT and HEAL Brent COMPLETELY (on earth).

John 11:1-45 (New Living Translation

The Raising of Lazarus

1 A man named Lazarus was sick. He lived in Bethany with his sisters, Mary and Martha. 2 This is the Mary who later poured the expensive perfume on the Lord’s feet and wiped them with her hair.[a] Her brother, Lazarus, was sick. 3 So the two sisters sent a message to Jesus telling him, “Lord, your dear friend is very sick.”
4 But when Jesus heard about it he said, “Lazarus’s sickness will not end in death. No, it happened for the glory of God so that the Son of God will receive glory from this.” 5 So although Jesus loved Martha, Mary, and Lazarus, 6 he stayed where he was for the next two days. 7 Finally, he said to his disciples, “Let’s go back to Judea.”

8 But his disciples objected. “Rabbi,” they said, “only a few days ago the people[b] in Judea were trying to stone you. Are you going there again?”

9 Jesus replied, “There are twelve hours of daylight every day. During the day people can walk safely. They can see because they have the light of this world. 10 But at night there is danger of stumbling because they have no light.” 11 Then he said, “Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep, but now I will go and wake him up.”

12 The disciples said, “Lord, if he is sleeping, he will soon get better!” 13 They thought Jesus meant Lazarus was simply sleeping, but Jesus meant Lazarus had died.

14 So he told them plainly, “Lazarus is dead. 15 And for your sakes, I’m glad I wasn’t there, for now you will really believe. Come, let’s go see him.”

16 Thomas, nicknamed the Twin,[c] said to his fellow disciples, “Let’s go, too—and die with Jesus.”

17 When Jesus arrived at Bethany, he was told that Lazarus had already been in his grave for four days. 18 Bethany was only a few miles[d] down the road from Jerusalem, 19 and many of the people had come to console Martha and Mary in their loss. 20 When Martha got word that Jesus was coming, she went to meet him. But Mary stayed in the house. 21 Martha said to Jesus, “Lord, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died. 22 But even now I know that God will give you whatever you ask.”

23 Jesus told her, “Your brother will rise again.”

24 “Yes,” Martha said, “he will rise when everyone else rises, at the last day.”

25 Jesus told her, “I am the resurrection and the life.[e] Anyone who believes in me will live, even after dying. 26 Everyone who lives in me and believes in me will never ever die. Do you believe this, Martha?”

27 “Yes, Lord,” she told him. “I have always believed you are the Messiah, the Son of God, the one who has come into the world from God.” 28 Then she returned to Mary. She called Mary aside from the mourners and told her, “The Teacher is here and wants to see you.” 29 So Mary immediately went to him.

30 Jesus had stayed outside the village, at the place where Martha met him. 31 When the people who were at the house consoling Mary saw her leave so hastily, they assumed she was going to Lazarus’s grave to weep. So they followed her there. 32 When Mary arrived and saw Jesus, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died.”

33 When Jesus saw her weeping and saw the other people wailing with her, a deep anger welled up within him,[f] and he was deeply troubled. 34 “Where have you put him?” he asked them.

They told him, “Lord, come and see.” 35 Then Jesus wept. 36 The people who were standing nearby said, “See how much he loved him!” 37 But some said, “This man healed a blind man. Couldn’t he have kept Lazarus from dying?”

38 Jesus was still angry as he arrived at the tomb, a cave with a stone rolled across its entrance. 39 “Roll the stone aside,” Jesus told them.

But Martha, the dead man’s sister, protested, “Lord, he has been dead for four days. The smell will be terrible.”

40 Jesus responded, “Didn’t I tell you that you would see God’s glory if you believe?” 41 So they rolled the stone aside. Then Jesus looked up to heaven and said, “Father, thank you for hearing me. 42 You always hear me, but I said it out loud for the sake of all these people standing here, so that they will believe you sent me.” 43 Then Jesus shouted, “Lazarus, come out!” 44 And the dead man came out, his hands and feet bound in graveclothes, his face wrapped in a headcloth. Jesus told them, “Unwrap him and let him go!”

Sunday, December 17, 2006 1:34 AM CST

Hi Everyone,

This is Susan updating for Tonya.

Tonya and Brent made it safe and sound to Memphis yesterday evening. He was greeting by so many loving friends, family and nurses, which greatly lifted his spirits! This truly was the medicine he needed!

For those of you who will be coming to visit Brent, Tonya has asked that you bring lots of love, joy, and happiness to share with him. This is what he needs more then anything right now.

Please continue to pray for the Nason family, as you have all so faithfully done throughout this journey.

Thank you all so much for your prayers, support and words of encouragement for them. It has been a source of strength to them each and everyday!

Tonya will be updating soon!

Susan



















Hello Friends......

I thought I'd check in to let you know that Brent's had a reasonably good day today. Sometimes he's in a lot of pain when we turn him, others don't seem to bother him other than making him uncomfortable. He seems pretty comfortable when he's just lying there. If you're wondering what I mean by "turn him," well, we have to rotate him every 2-3 hours to keep him from getting bed sores. It has seemed at times that ANY significant movement can cause HORRENDOUS pain. The radiation to his back may have finally helped, but the compression on his nerves (before we did radiation) seems to have caused some other problems. Brent still can't move his legs, feet or toes. He doesn't have much feeling in them and if we touch him (by squeezing, as in massaging his legs or feet) he says they burn. Watching him in agony over the past few weeks prepared our hearts for the news that was to come. We know in our hearts that pushing for further treatment wouldn't be beneficial to Brent, it'd only be prolonging his misery. Our sweet boy has fought long and hard and he's just so very tired of all the turning, touching, EVERYTHING that comes along with this stinkin cancer! He's not said he wants to give up, but we really have no choice.

As I say that I am in NO WAY LIMITING GOD! I think we've finally "freed Him" to work His miracle! Am I saying that we think we've had HIM bound?? No, just that with all the doctors out of the way HE can work something SO BIG, SO UNIMAGINABLE that EVERYONE will KNOW it was BUT BY THE HAND OF GOD that Brent got his healing! We've absolutely NOT given up - God could've stepped in at any time before now - and can at any moment. We're still praying and believing for that miracle to take place, but at the same time we've given him back to God and asked that HIS WILL be done. Can't go wrong there ....... RIGHT???

I said all of that to say that it's because of the enormous amount of pain that Brent's been experiencing and then finding that the cancer is still growing that we decided it was time to stop. Our poor baby now cringes when a nurse walks in the room because he's now expecting it to hurt. It only seemed right to keep fighting when Brent was "healthy." Now, it just seems WRONG to keep putting him through this.

We told Brent yesterday that we had to stop giving him the medicine we came here for and asked if he wanted to stay here or to go back to St. Jude. (That was a NO-BRAINER! But he deserves to have some say in this battle so we asked anyway) Our sweet little easy-going man first said it didn't matter. We assured him that this was HIS DECISION to make and he quickly decided that St. Jude is where he wants to be. It's always been like a resort to Brent and his nurses have ALWAYS brought a smile to his face and joy to his heart! Yes, going home will bless him beyond words. Everyone has their own ideas as to whether or not we tell him what's going on. Link and I are in COMPLETE AGREEMENT that he WILL NOT be told! You, nor I, or anybody else knows the day or the hour we will die. We won't talk about this to him ESPECIALLY since we're still praying for his miracle. Why should we stress him out, break his heart, and give him a load that heavy to carry when we KNOW that if/when Jesus takes him home that he'll instantly be in Heaven??

Philippians 1:21-23 (New American Standard Bible)

To Live Is Christ

21For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain.
22But if I am to live on in the flesh, this will mean fruitful labor for me; and I do not know which to choose.

23But I am hard-pressed from both directions, having the desire to depart and be with Christ, for that is very much better;

In searching for the passage I just used I ran across this. I just can' help but share it with you!

Romans 8:18-39 (New Living Translation)

The Future Glory

18 Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later. 19 For all creation is waiting eagerly for that future day when God will reveal who his children really are. 20 Against its will, all creation was subjected to God’s curse. But with eager hope, 21 the creation looks forward to the day when it will join God’s children in glorious freedom from death and decay. 22 For we know that all creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. 23 And we believers also groan, even though we have the Holy Spirit within us as a foretaste of future glory, for we long for our bodies to be released from sin and suffering. We, too, wait with eager hope for the day when God will give us our full rights as his adopted children,[a] including the new bodies he has promised us. 24 We were given this hope when we were saved. (If we already have something, we don’t need to hope[b] for it. 25 But if we look forward to something we don’t yet have, we must wait patiently and confidently.)
26 And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. 27 And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers[c] in harmony with God’s own will. 28 And we know that God causes everything to work together[d] for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. 29 For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. 30 And having chosen them, he called them to come to him. And having called them, he gave them right standing with himself. And having given them right standing, he gave them his glory.

Nothing Can Separate Us from God’s Love

31 What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us? 32 Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else? 33 Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? No one—for God himself has given us right standing with himself. 34 Who then will condemn us? No one—for Christ Jesus died for us and was raised to life for us, and he is sitting in the place of honor at God’s right hand, pleading for us.
35 Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? 36 (As the Scriptures say, “For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.”[e]) 37 No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.

38 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[f] neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. 39 No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord

Okay, so we've got THAT COVERED, let's keep PRAYING & BELIEVING for Brent's MIRACLE!?!?!

As for going home ........ Brent and I will be picked up by ambulance and carried to the airport sometime Monday. We'll board what they're calling an "Air Ambulance" and will arrive in Memphis sometime late Monday evening or early night. (That's what we're estimating) Brent will then be taken by ambulance to St. Jude. He IS SO VERY EXCITED about going back. It is after all, his favorite place in the world to be. His nurses, (and nurses aids) have spoiled him ROTTEN! His nurse practitioner (Mrs. JoAnne) along with his nurse Rachel from "D Clinic" are his ABSOLUTE FAVORITE clinic nurses ...... then he has Joni and SO MANY OTHERS on the 2nd floor that he can't wait to see. I'm telling you ...... HE ADORES THEM!!! I can't wait to see the JOY on his face when he knows he's HOME! (St. Jude IS home to him!)


Now, I want to speak on what I mentioned in the last update about having DIRECT ACCESS to God. A VERY SWEET lady emailed me and said (in the sweetest way) that she felt like I was alienating some of my brothers and sisters in Christ. I want to ASSURE EVERYONE that this was NOT my intention! My goal - each time I speak of our Lord - is to bring HIM honor and glory! It's also my heart's desire that any lost who are with us, might be saved! I didn't mean to make anyone think I was attacking their beliefs. If you believe JESUS is the ABSOLUTE ONLY WAY to Heaven and are praying in HIS name (to the ONLY ONE TRUE GOD) then we're all on the same page. The "name on the door" (as I like to call it) CERTAINLY DOES NOT SAVE YOU! The Bible says that JESUS IS THE WAY, THE TRUTH, AND THE LIFE - AND NOBODY COMES TO THE FATHER, EXCEPT BY HIM. (John 14:6) My intentions were to share the gospel with the LOST - NOT to offend anyone! I hope you all believe that.

One other thing ........... As I stated yesterday, as humans we sometimes add stipulations to salvation that GOD DOES NOT REQUIRE! It's NOT by "works" (lest any man should boast) it's by BELIEVING AND CONFESSING JESUS AS LORD.

Romans 10:9-13 (New International Version)

9That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. 10For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved. 11As the Scripture says, "Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame."[a] 12For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile—the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, 13for, "Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved."

This is another great passage .....

Romans 10:1-4 (New Living Translation)

1 Dear brothers and sisters,[a] the longing of my heart and my prayer to God is for the people of Israel to be saved. 2 I know what enthusiasm they have for God, but it is misdirected zeal. 3 For they don’t understand God’s way of making people right with Himself. Refusing to accept God’s way, they cling to their own way of getting right with God by trying to keep the law. 4 For Christ has already accomplished the purpose for which the law was given.[b] As a result, all who believe in Him are made right with God.

Alrighty .... I didn't feel that I could rest until I made sure we are all "cool." I've said it here before, but will say again that I'd rather be hurt a hundred times over than to know that I inflicted pain on anyone. I think of each and every one of you as my friends and it just wouldn't be right of me to hold out on you with something as important as eternity. I do hope that if I've offended or hurt anyone that we're now ok. As always ..... if you'd like to talk with me about anything I say here feel free to email me. I'd LOVE to share what I believe and listen to what you have to say if you're in agreement with, or opposing something I've said. I can handle being "called out," and am NOT AT ALL one to get my feelings hurt easily. (I'd have to know you were PURPOSFULLY TRYING to hurt me for words to hurt - most everything else just rolls off my back)


I would like to ask you to continue to pray for our families. It was so hard to watch Kerry, Shannon, Ashley and Clay leave today. We gathered around Brent to pray before they left - just like we have daily. There was so much emotion as we all "came into agreement" asking God to HEAL Brent. The hardest part was that everything REALLY HIT Ash & Clay as we prayed. They were sobbing as the prayer ended - it was obviously so very hard for them to say good-bye.

We'd not said anything to our boys because we didn't know if they'd be able to stand in the room with Brent without crying. We decided tonight to tell Zach and I can't even begin to tell you how broken-hearted he was. He cried for a long while and even said that he "knew Brent was really sick, but he didn't know it was THAT BAD." This is a VERY HARD place to be for all of us, but I ask you to pray especially hard for the little ones involved. Link's sister Virginia has two little girls (Addison & Lora Beth) who will be equally broken to see their cousin - one of their favorite playmates - in this condition. God is GOOD ....... we KNOW He's gonna hold and keep us in HIS GRIP!

I know I've shared TONS of scripture tonight and this update is PLENTY long but I read this scripture and thought of Brent. Granted it IS taken out of context and was actually intended for Pharaoh, it still speaks of Brent and his God ordained purpose.

Romans 9:17 (New International Version)

17For the Scripture says to Pharaoh: "I raised you up for this very purpose, that I might display my power in you and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth.".

Thank you SO VERY MUCH for praying and for your loving words in the guestbook. You guys have been AMAZING!!! Please continue to PRAY & BELIEVE for Brent's COMPLETE EARTHLY HEALING!! (God's will be done)


We love you,
Tonya





<>< <>< <><


Built on a Rock
12/16/2006

Therefore whoever hears these sayings of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock.
MATTHEW 7:24


"The Christian life is hard work. Christianity involves systematically striving to implement the truths of God's Word into your life. Spiritual depth and maturity do not come without consistent effort.

Jesus had just concluded the Sermon on the Mount, which sets forth some of the most profound truths ever spoken. The Son of God had clearly explained the kind of life that is pleasing to the Father. Yet Jesus knew, even as He was concluding His sermon, that some of His listeners would leave and never apply a word they had heard.

Jesus said that a man who takes the words of God and builds them into his life is like a wise man who builds his house on a rock. Rocks are hard to build on. It takes great effort to attach a foundation to a rock. A house built on sand provides instant comfort; building on a rock is laborious and tedious. Yet building on sand leaves the builder in a vulnerable position, while the one building on the rock is secure.

How can you tell what kind of foundation a life has been built on? Watch to see what happens when a storm comes. A life built upon the Word of God will withstand the very storm that sweeps away the life that did not heed God's Word.

There are no shortcuts to spiritual maturity. Maturity only comes through hard work and obedience to what God says. The next time you hear Jesus speaking, immediately begin to firmly build His truth into your life, so that no storm can unsettle you."







You can learn more about Dr. Blackaby, his writings, and his ministry at www.blackaby.org, or write:

Blackaby Ministries International
P.O. Box 16338
Atlanta, GA 30321



Devotion taken from namb.net

Friday, December 15, 2006 6:44 PM CST

Hello Friends ...........

I'm not quite sure how to begin the update tonight. Our hearts are broken, but our faith is strong, and we STILL BELIEVE that God can step in at any time and grant Brent's COMPLETE EARTHLY HEALING. The MRI confirmed what the MIBG showed ........ his liver is now about 50 percent tumor. We've talked with St. Jude and are planning to fly back on Monday. There is no place on earth Brent would rather be and we know that his nurses will be just the medicine he needs! (We DID ask him if he wanted to go to St. Jude or stay here..... as for now, he doesn't know WHY we're going home and hasn't asked)

All I know to ask is that you pray for strength for our entire family and comfort and JOY for Brent! We love him so very much and the thought of going home under these circumstances is almost more than we can stand. We're CLINGING TO JESUS and STILL BELIEVING that Brent can be healed! We ask you to continue to pray God's will.


We love and cherish you all so very much........
Tonya









Thursday, December 14, 2006 11:37 PM CST

Romans 11:33-36 (New Living Translation)

33 Oh, how great are God’s riches and wisdom and knowledge! How impossible it is for us to understand His decisions and His ways!
34 For who can know the Lord’s thoughts?
Who knows enough to give Him advice?
35 And who has given Him so much
that He needs to pay it back?

36 For everything comes from Him and exists by His power and is intended for His glory. All glory to Him forever! Amen.




Hello Friends ............

Today has been a very long day and it appears to be endless. The test results we've been waiting for left the doctors unsure about what they were seeing so they plan to do an MRI tomorrow. I'd love to give you a long, drawn out, detailed update about what they saw but honestly we NEED to have all the facts together. It's hard to wait, but we KNOW that Brent's been LITERALLY BATHED IN PRAYER and through that we are encouraged.

Now, Brent's MRI is set for 8 in the morning. They don't ask much from him but we have heard that they'll be asking him to hold his breath for around 18 seconds. He's tired and he's weak and this might be a challenge for him. PLEASE PRAY that he'll be able to do everything they ask of him and that these pictures will show EXACTLY what God has for us. Since we have no way of knowing what's best for Brent right now I ask that you pray for CLEAR DIRECTION from God as to what we need to do next. I also want to ask you to pray for God's will to be done. HE KNOWS our hearts and how desperately we want to keep Brent with us, but HE also knows what the future holds and I don't want to ask HIM to do anything that might cause more trouble or bring more pain for Brent in the future. My selfishness is far too great for me to pray with a clear head right now. Link and I KNOW BEYOND THE SHADOW of ANY DOUBT that God's will is BEST! We're ready to trust and accept whatever road God has for us. Nonetheless, I still ask God to grant Brent's complete earthly healing. (I think God understands our hearts, after all, HE'S the One Who gave us the never ending NEED to love and protect our children)

I PROMISE, I'll have someone update on the findings ASAP!

There is something that blessed my heart that I wanted to share with you before I sign off tonight. I met a lady here in the hospital the other day who I KNOW was sent from God to encourage me. We only talked for a couple of minutes and quickly realized that we are both Christians. She was quoting scripture right and left and even shared with me how she became a Christian. I think what amazed me most was how on fire for Jesus she is! She told me that the religion she was raised in required "works" and lots and lots of prayer in order to not lose her salvation. She said how miserable she was because she lived in CONSTANT fear of losing her salvation. That in turn made me realize how truly blessed we are to have JESUS, the HIGHEST OF HIGH PRIESTS to intercede for us. We don't have to pray through ANY name EXCEPT the name OF JESUS AND WE ALWAYS have DIRECT access to GOD!!!




Hebrews 7:15-28 (New Living Translation)

Jesus Is like Melchizedek

15 This change has been made very clear since a different priest, who is like Melchizedek, has appeared. 16 Jesus became a priest, not by meeting the physical requirement of belonging to the tribe of Levi, but by the power of a life that cannot be destroyed. 17 And the psalmist pointed this out when he prophesied,
“You are a priest forever in the order of Melchizedek.”[a]

18 Yes, the old requirement about the priesthood was set aside because it was weak and useless. 19 For the law never made anything perfect. But now we have confidence in a better hope, through which we draw near to God.

20 This new system was established with a solemn oath. Aaron’s descendants became priests without such an oath, 21 but there was an oath regarding Jesus. For God said to Him,

“The Lord has taken an oath and will not break his vow:
‘You are a priest forever.’”[b]

22 Because of this oath, Jesus is the One who guarantees this better covenant with God.

23 There were many priests under the old system, for death prevented them from remaining in office. 24 But because Jesus lives forever, His priesthood lasts forever. 25 Therefore He is able, once and forever, to save[c] those who come to God through Him. He lives forever to intercede with God on their behalf.

26 He is the kind of high priest we need because He is holy and blameless, unstained by sin. He has been set apart from sinners and has been given the highest place of honor in heaven.[d] 27 Unlike those other high priests, He does not need to offer sacrifices every day. They did this for their own sins first and then for the sins of the people. But Jesus did this once for all when He offered himself as the sacrifice for the people’s sins. 28 The law appointed high priests who were limited by human weakness. But after the law was given, God appointed His Son with an oath, and his Son has been made the perfect High Priest forever.



Man, that's EXCITING! Especially when you think about being able to go STRAIGHT to God with our petitions. We don't have to look up sacrifices, go to a priest and have our sins atoned for ..... JESUS ALREADY PAID THE PRICE! Thanks to HIM - even when we're away from home - wherever we are - we ALWAYS have the right as children of God to PRAY DIRECTLY TO HIM through Jesus! I also love that HE doesn't require "works" in order to maintain our salvation.




Ephesians 2:8-10 (New Living Translation)



8 God saved you by His grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. 9 Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. 10 For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago.



Isn't is sad that man adds so many stipulations to God's way of salvation? We make things so hard sometimes that it sometimes makes Christianity unattractive to the lost. That's just so sad! Our God is a God of LOVE, PEACE, JOY AND ABUNDANCE! More than that ....... He's a forgiving God! He loves us so much that He sent His only Son to die in our place. That's so humbling when I think of all the reasons He SHOULD turn me away.



Okay, once again my short update has turned into a long one. God shows me so much at night when I settle down to talk with you and I get so excited that I can't help but to share it.

Oh, while I was searching out the scriptures I opened one of the link's from Brent's site and was singing along to "Here I Go Again," by Casting Crowns. (That's the song that's stored on that site) I noticed within a minute or so Brent was singing/humming along. God CONTINUES TO BLOW ME AWAY!!



Thanks SO MUCH for praying with us and for walking alongside us. I can't wait till we all get to Heaven and can finally meet and exchange hugs!! It's like we have a HUGE family out there - many of which we'll never meet on this side of Glory. What a day that will be!



Night ...........

We love you,

Tonya








The Race
12/14/2006

"I have fought the good fight,
I have finished the race, I have kept the faith."
2 TIMOTHY 4:7


"There is much satisfaction in finishing something you have begun! The success of a race is determined not only by how well you begin but also by how well you end. Many athletes can begin a race impressively, but if they stumble or are injured or lack the stamina to finish, their good start is useless. Paul rejoiced that he had not only begun the race but he had also finished it. His prize was a robust faith in God and a life filled with God's powerful presence.

The Christian life is not easy. Some mistakenly assume that once they become children of God, their struggles are over. Many Christians begin their walk with Christ enthusiastically, but as the pressures mount, they lose heart and abandon their pilgrimage.

Paul described His Christian life as a battle. There were times when he struggled, and only through perseverance could he continue. It may surprise us to know that the great apostle had to struggle at times to be faithful to God. Paul faced persecution, misunderstanding, betrayal, and death threats. His Christian life was anything but easy, yet he persevered.

Your faith in God is not proven by beginning the race but by enduring to the finish. Publicly announcing your commitment to Christ in your church does not compare with a lifetime of devotion to His cause. Use Paul as your model. Live your life in such a way that you can one day conclude, ""I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith!"""





You can learn more about Dr. Blackaby, his writings, and his ministry at www.blackaby.org, or write:

Blackaby Ministries International
P.O. Box 16338
Atlanta, GA 30321







Devotion taken from namb.net

Thursday, December 14, 2006 4:28 PM CST

Just a note to say we're still waiting. We're loading him up now to go down to radiation, HOPEFULLY we'll talk with our doctor when we get back. Someone will update ASAP.

THANKS SO MUCH FOR YOUR PRAYERS!
Love, Tonya & Family




Wednesday, December 13, 2006 10:05 PM CST

*** PLEASE REMEMBER to PRAY WITHOUT CEASING that the MIBG will have MIRACULOUS CHANGE - HUGE DECREASE IN ALLTUMOR AREAS!!!!!!!!! ***

Wednesday, December 13, 2006 12:57 AM CST

Isaiah 59:1 (New International Version)

1 Surely the arm of the LORD is not too short to save,
nor His ear too dull to hear.


Thanks for the scripture, Mrs. Tommie!




Hello Friends ....

Guess where I'm signing on from tonight??? Give up??? We're back on the 5th floor - OFFICIALLY OUT of ICU!! Yes, even with all that's going on with Brent he CONTINUES to astound those who are taking care of him. The very doctor that pulled us back into his office yesterday, and who was READY to put Brent back on the vent stood over his bed this morning and asked Brent something to the effect of, "Man, WHAT ARE YOU DOING??" I laughed and turned to Brent and said, "We like to keep them on their toes don't we?" The doc himself voiced that he just KNEW we'd be putting Brent back on the vent today and after coming into the room he was ready to send him back upstairs! I quickly told all who was in the room that Brent couldn't help but get better! After all, he has a HUGE ARMY of PRAYER WARRIORS that are ALL ON TOP of his prayer needs!!

Okay, so I skipped some major information didn't I?? If you were with us yesterday you know that Brent had stopped swallowing again. I don't mean "slowed down" I mean he'd STOPPED! We were having to suction him every 15 minutes or so to remove his secretions. By the end of the day God SHOWED UP in a BIG WAY and our sweet boy was not only drinking, but he was chattering non-stop! As I'm sure you can imagine our hearts were filled with JOY as we watched another MIRACLE HAPPEN RIGHT BEFORE OUR EYES!!! Yes, it was an AWESOME night ..... but it seems as we clear one hurdle another is right in front of us. Guys, I can't tell you how badly we NEED a MIRACLE on the upcoming MIBG!

With all of the talks we've had recently with ICU docs and Oncologist's we've learned that there were quite a few "spots" to light up on the MIGB that we didn't know were there before. (Somehow we didn't find out about them while still at St. Jude) If there's not some REGRESSION of disease on the scan ......... well, as I said yesterday, we'll KNOW it's TIME to turn him COMPLETELY OVER TO JESUS.

ENOUGH OF THAT! God's WORD says that if we ask ANYTHING in the name of JESUS we shall have it. AMEN??? We know there's an eternal reason for this journey ...... Maybe there's someone here in Vermont (maybe even this hospital) who doesn't believe in God. Or maybe they haven't trusted in JESUS as their LORD AND SAVIOR?? We're just praying for God to use us mightily in this battle.


Guys, I'm tired beyond words right now. We're all feeling sleep deprived coming out of the ICU. PRAISE GOD we're out though!!!!!!!


Okay ...... I'll leave you with the prayer list and will remind those of you who'd like to join us in prayer and fasting for Brent you can do so at the time most convenient for you. The MIBG is set for Thursday afternoon and we're asking God to SHOW US A MIRACLE! We're broken right now .......... there's nothing more we want at this very minute than to know we can still fight for Brent. However, as many have said, God would get the MOST glory doing something when it looks like all hope is gone. We're BELIEVING that HE WILL and are set to TRUST HIS PERFECT PLAN for our lives.



~PLEASE PRAY~

For a MUCH IMPROVED MIBG!!!!!!!!!

For Brent to continue swallowing and for him to be able to DRINK from a GLASS! That's his heart's desire.

For CLEAR, HEALTHY LUNGS

For CLEAR CULTURES - ALL INFECTION IS GONE, IN THE MIGHTY NAME OF JESUS! (We have a week old NEGATIVE CULTURE!!!)

NO "leaky" veins

For NO fluid retention

For guidance as the docs are gearing up to keep Brent comfortable until we can do chemo again

As always, we ask you to PRAY & BELIEVE for Brent's COMPLETE EARTHLY HEALING!





Thanks SO MUCH for your prayers and for your words of encouragement! I'll check back asap and add any missing details ..... I'm LITERALLY falling asleep as I type. (I was in a nice, deep sleep - with computer on my stomach - till the respiratory therapist came in and woke me ..... LOL!)



Keep PRAYING & BELIEVING for our MIRACLE .......
Love,
Tonya






Enlarge Your Tent!
12/12/2006

"Enlarge the place of your tent,
And let them stretch out the curtains of your dwellings;
Do not spare; Lengthen your cords, And strengthen your stakes."
ISAIAH 54:2


"When God comes to a life in power, it is always a time of rejoicing and expectation for the future! Isaiah described this experience as similar to that of a child born to a previously barren woman. The child's arrival changes everything! Life cannot continue as usual! Whereas the dwelling place might have been large enough for two, it must now be made bigger. The child's presence causes the parents to completely rearrange the way they were living.

Isaiah proclaimed that when God comes, you must make room for Him in your life. You must ""enlarge the place of your tent"" because God's presence will add new dimensions to your life, your family, and your church. You do not simply ""add Christ on"" to your busy life and carry on with business as usual. When Christ is your Lord, everything changes. Whereas before you may not have expected good things to come through you or in your life, now you should have a spirit of optimism. You ought to expect your life to become richer and fuller. You can anticipate God blessing others through your life. You can look for God to demonstrate His power through your life in increasing measure.

As a Christian, how do you make room for Christ in your life? You repent of your sin. You allow Christ the freedom to do what He wants in you. You watch eagerly for His activity in your life and in your family and in your church. You live your life with the expectancy that Christ will fill you with His power in the days to come and will ""stretch"" you to do things in His service that you have never done before."





You can learn more about Dr. Blackaby, his writings, and his ministry at www.blackaby.org, or write:

Blackaby Ministries International
P.O. Box 16338
Atlanta, GA 30321

Monday, December 11, 2006 8:57 PM CST

Hello Friends .......

I hate it's been so long between updates, but this has been a day FULL of hard, "roller-coaster" type emotions. We've had several talks with doctors and had many were discussions we never dreamed we'd be having.

When we awoke this morning Brent was begging for water, and we quickly discovered that he COULDN'T SWALLOW AT ALL! You guys rallied together and we started petitioning our LORD and by the end of the day he started to drink! It's not big drinks - mind you - but he IS SWALLOWING! THANK YOU, JESUS!!!

Okay, so there's been too much going on to cover everything, but I'll try to pick up with the place that Brent stopped drinking and fill you in from there. There was a lot of SERIOUS talk about putting Brent back on the vent. (Because of the swallowing) The doc we were talking with is the exact same one we had two weeks ago when we first came down here. His take was that Brent is almost in the EXACT same place now as he was then. Technically he's not because he IS awake and moving some, but as far as being able to swallow and have working gag reflexes we were "on the razors edge." (That's how the doc put it) In the midst of the talks about whether or not to put him on the vent we also discussed whether or not to move forward with treatment, then moved to "keeping him comfortable."

The only way we can decide what to do next is to know EXACTLY where we're at right now. Dr. Sholler agreed that an MIBG would help to answer lots of questions so one of those is in the works for this week. We've been standing on the WORD and BELIEVING GOD would HEAL Brent and are NOT wavering in what we KNOW our LORD can do!! However, if there is much progression ........ well, then our prayer turns to asking God to take him quickly and not let him suffer. Again, we've not given up on GOD and HIS DELIVERANCE ....... HE CAN SPEAK THE WORD and this will be all over. Will HE??? We're gonna believe that HE WILL and keep standing on those promises, but these discussions had to be made and now we have to decide if pursuing treatment is gonna do Brent more harm than good. EVERYTHING hinges on the results of the MIBG.

I've called on you MANY times before to "PRAY AND FAST." Since I don't know exactly WHEN the MIBG is gonna be - but it WILL be one day this week - I'm going to let those of you who are willing to join in pick your own time to fast. Whether it be one meal, two, a day ....... WHAT EVER you decide or feel led to do. I think if we're all sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit as to WHEN to pray, and for some it will be praying and fasting, we can keep him COVERED 24/7 for the rest of the week. Again, we've stood on God's Word thus far and are going to continue to HOLD FAST to HIS PROMISES! I'd like to share some passages on WHY I asked you to join us.

Matthew 17:14-21 (New American Standard Bible)


Demoniac

14 When they came to the crowd, a man came up to Jesus, falling on his knees before Him and saying,
15"Lord, have mercy on my son, for he is a lunatic and is very ill; for he often falls into the fire and often into the water.

16"I brought him to Your disciples, and they could not cure him."

17And Jesus answered and said, "You unbelieving and perverted generation, how long shall I be with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring him here to Me."

18And Jesus rebuked him, and the demon came out of him, and the boy was cured at once.

19Then the disciples came to Jesus privately and said, "Why could we not drive it out?"

20And He said to them, "Because of the littleness of your faith; for truly I say to you, If you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move; and nothing will be impossible to you.

21 this kind does not go out except by prayer and fasting.