Hello, Friends...

I wanted to sign on to say, "THANK YOU!" for your prayers for my Mam-Maw. God blessed her with an easy passing around 5 am this morning. It was very quick and very peaceful. Our family is at peace knowing that she's with her LORD in HEAVEN, but her presence will FOREVER be missed. My grandmother was the ULTIMATE picture of the Proverbs 31 Woman.


Proverbs 31:10-31

A Wife of Noble Character
10 [a]Who can find a virtuous and capable wife?
She is more precious than rubies.
11 Her husband can trust her,
and she will greatly enrich his life.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She finds wool and flax
and busily spins it.
14 She is like a merchant’s ship,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household
and plan the day’s work for her servant girls.

16 She goes to inspect a field and buys it;
with her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She is energetic and strong,
a hard worker.
18 She makes sure her dealings are profitable;
her lamp burns late into the night.

19 Her hands are busy spinning thread,
her fingers twisting fiber.
20 She extends a helping hand to the poor
and opens her arms to the needy.
21 She has no fear of winter for her household,
for everyone has warm[b] clothes.

22 She makes her own bedspreads.
She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns.
23 Her husband is well known at the city gates,
where he sits with the other civic leaders.
24 She makes belted linen garments
and sashes to sell to the merchants.

25 She is clothed with strength and dignity,
and she laughs without fear of the future.
26 When she speaks, her words are wise,
and she gives instructions with kindness.
27 She carefully watches everything in her household
and suffers nothing from laziness.

28 Her children stand and bless her.
Her husband praises her:
29 “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world,
but you surpass them all!”

30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last;
but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.
31 Reward her for all she has done.
Let her deeds publicly declare her praise





Yes, this Proverb could have been written just for her!


When talking about flower arrangements with my Mom this morning, she said that Maw would be pleased to have money donated to childhood cancer research. (Instead of flowers) My grandma has been an AMAZINGLY HEALTHY woman and having no "favorite charity" of her own, I'm honored that my Mom mentioned the Band of Parents.

This organization was started by a group of parents desperately searching for a cure for their children battling Neuroblastoma. (This is the cancer that took the life of our son) You can find Brent on their "Angel Page."





It's been a really long day, and I'm mentally drained. I promise to check back soon!

Thanks again, SOOOOOOOOOO MUCH, for your prayers!

With Love,
Tonya

Monday, August 11, 2008 1:45 AM CDT

Hello, Friends....

I said I'd check back to update on my Mam-Maw, so here goes.......

What she has is called Aspiration Pneumonia. While reading about it in the hospital yesterday it seems that it happens when food or liquid is accidentally inhaled. There were reasons listed why this might happen, and one of those was if the person has had a stroke. We suspect that may be what happened. They did a CT (cat scan) yesterday and it was clear. They'll do another one in a few days.

We visited a couple of times yesterday - she is NOTHING like she was just a couple of weeks back. My grandma has ALWAYS been VERY ALERT, chatty (even as she's aged and her words were harder to come out). Last night, they "called the family in."

As of around midnight her breathing had gotten better and she seemed to be resting a little better, although she's still running fever. (Her breathing had become shallow earlier)

I'll be going back down there around 7 and will probably spend most of the day. If anything changes I'll let you know as soon as possible.

THANKS SO MUCH for your prayers!
Love,
Tonya







Saturday, August 9, 2008 8:56 PM CDT

Hello, Friends...

I'm checking in quickly to share a prayer request. I'm sure you've all heard me mention my 101 year old grandma. (Better known as "Mam-Maw") Well, tonight the nursing home called my Mom and told her they were about to "pump" my Grandma's lungs. They then called back to ask if any of the family would be coming in and my Mom told them she was on her way.

When she arrived, a nurse told her they'd pulled a lot of fluid and that she was "better, but not good." They said she has pneumonia in one of her lungs, then reminded my Mom that pneumonia isn't good for a YOUNG person, much less someone who's 101 years old. (She's also been in congestive heart failure for a while now)

I honestly don't know how to ask you to pray... My Mam-Maw is a Christian and is ready to meet her LORD. She's lived a long and good life. (Hard, but with many blessings) However, as you all know, it's never easy to think about saying "goodbye" to a loved one.

Please just ask that GOD's will be done... if it's that she be healed, then pray for comfort and joy as she lives out her last years. If it's that she go HOME, then I ask that you pray that GOD will prepare our hearts to let her go.

I'll check in again as soon as I know anything different.

THANKS SO MUCH!
Love,
Tonya







Friday, August 8, 2008 10:59 PM CDT

Hello, Friends!

I thought I'd try to "backtrack" and do a post that I think I told you about a while back. I had a total "GOD EXPERIENCE" back around the 4th of July and I've been wanting to share it, but I had to take the time to load the picture that goes with the story. It was AMAZING.. a TRUE GIFT from our LORD!

SO, I know I've mentioned before how hard the holidays are for us. In some ways, it doesn't feel any different (because we MISS Brent EVERY day) and in other ways... it just seems to make us more AWARE that he's just not here.

Well, the 4th was one of Brent's ALL TIME FAVORITE holidays. I was excited this year about the upcoming family fun, and yet my heart was breaking because he wasn't here. I remembered how Brent used to look forward to going with Pap-Paw Sam to get the hog. I remembered how he loved to stay up late (to be the first to get to the ribs) ;-) I remembered all of the other things he loved about it.

So... I'd been battling a little "spell of depression" as the day had finally arrived. (It was actually July 3, but that's when half the fun always began) I'd been doing some cleaning in the house, and as I mentioned feeling a little down when I found it...

"IT" was a little note that Brent had made for me some time back. To be honest, I don't even remember ever getting it. I have NO IDEA WHEN he made it, or why. All that I know was that I couldn't have needed it more than I did that day.




As I said, I don't ever remember seeing it before. I think maybe that made it even more special. It was almost like it was Heaven-sent! (No, I don't REALLY think it was, but it sure felt like it!)

I hate that I didn't get to share my special story before now. As I've mentioned earlier, this has been one BUSY summer. I'm quite thankful it has been.. I've noticed that it's been a little harder in recent days to redirect my thoughts when I start to get down. It seems to be that way for the boys too. At least for Gabe. (He's our youngest.. at 7 years old) There have been so MANY times lately that he's started crying and saying he misses Brent. Yes, I KNOW we're all supposed to still miss him. It'd be crazy to think otherwise. I guess what I'm saying is that for some reason the "missing him" has been a little more frequent. As I say that, I'll ask you to please remember us as we approach the fall - January 2. Maybe we're subconsciously recognizing that this IS the time of year when things started to go REALLY wrong?

Okay, since we do serve an AMAZING GOD, I MUST share some of the GOOD things that we're experiencing right now. As I think I've mentioned.. we've really been working on being consistent with our disciplining the boys. I didn't realize that a little time spent "NOT letting things go" in areas such as attitude, how quickly they respond to us, and how they treat each other could have a MAJOR IMPACT on them. With all of that said, we HAVE been more consistent. I've responded with scripture as well as rebuke... and oh my, the transformation has been GLORIOUS! They're so pleasant to be around... school is going better... and they're actually learning not to fight with each other. (This is part of what's been bothering Gabe. He's been miserable, taunted even, by memories of himself being mean to Brent)

All of THAT to share this sweet video. It's of Gabe attempting to quote some scripture they're memorizing. You'll hear me correcting him (by offering a word or two) in attempt to help him make it through. Oh, and I'll post the passage so you can read it as he quotes it. It'll be just below the video. (Oh, the video has to be "approved" by "Godtube." If it's not here now, check back) =-)

Thursday, August 7, 2008 11:11 AM CDT

Hello, my Sweet Friends...

I'm SO SORRY it's been so long since I've "checked in." Yes, summer has had us BUSY.. but there is no excuse for going this long without updating. (Thanks for the gentle reminders, Susan, Randy, and Lynn) ;-)

We are all doing well... I guess. With fall approaching, I find myself remembering those last days with Brent. This is the time of year that things began to take a really BAD turn for the worse. We kept our hopes up, we prayed and hoped God would allow us to keep Brent, but HE had different plans. It's hard not feel sad (sick even) as I remember how quickly Brent's health declined. I remember how much he endured... and yet I can't help but remember the spirit with which he fought. I have NEVER, EVER seen another human stay so SWEET and so POSITIVE while suffering pain and sickness that many will never see or experience. We're SO VERY PROUD of him, and can't wait to see him again!

Okay.. I'll try to check back soon and share some pictures... I have lots of neat things to tell you, but today is another of those crazy-busy days that is full to the brim. Oh, we started school again Monday... so we're finding ourselves more organized, but still dealing with summer tasks. (I've put up TONS of corn and tomatoes!) ;-)

Anyway.. I hate this isn't more informative or fun... I'm just not "feeling it" today. (Knowing my "to do list" is still so long doesn't help... HA!!)

Thanks SO MUCH for checking in.... We appreciate that you're taking the time to check on us, and more than that... we appreciate your prayers!


We love you,
Tonya - for Link, Zach & Gabe.... ALWAYS REMEMBERING Brent

Monday, June 30, 2008 9:34 PM CDT

Hello, Friends...

It's been another long stretch since I've updated, so I thought I'd check in quickly just to say that we're "okay." This summer has been a busy one - and that's always a good thing. (As always, we're MISSING Brent like crazy)

Link's been busy at work, the boys have been lots of help around the house, and I'm staying busy doing that wife/mom/help-meet thing. =-) Oh, and our garden is GREAT! The boys want to go out "first thing" each morning to see how the veggies are growing. (It's CRAZY how fast the cucumbers grow!!) Funny, they're so into watching the stuff - they'd run screaming like girls if you tried to get them to eat any of it. HA!!!!!!!!!

Oh, before I go... I hope to get TONS of pictures on the 4th and will be sharing those as quickly as I can get them loaded. It's been a long time since I've made pictures of the boys and girls together. We actually don't have any of them (Addison, Lora Beth, Zach and Gabe) with Allie Grace. We're hoping to get some really great family pictures! Again, I'll share them ASAP!

I hope all is well with each of you, and want to say THANKS for stopping by! I PROMISE to do a better update soon. (We always appreciate your prayers too) ;-)

See ya after the 4th? (If not before)

Love,
Tonya



Friday, June 20, 2008 11:55 AM CDT

Before you start reading this post, I'd like to apologize if you've already read this on my blog. We've been REALLY busy this summer and I've had so little time on the computer recently. It just seemed to make sense to post the same thing in both places since it's so long. (You know me, I love to ramble.. LOL!) Anyway, I'd recently met a Prayer Warrior that's been with us for quite a while and she told me she didn't "do" blogs. I sure don't want to leave any of you out - ESPECIALLY when you've been such a GREAT support system for so long! With that said, I DO hope to do a better job of posting more regularly here. Until then, feel free to visit us at both places. (This site, and my blog)

Okay.. now that that's out of the way... feel free to read on. =-)




Hello, my sweet friends...

WOW, I can hardly believe it's been almost two weeks since my last post. I'm struggling to try to remember where all this time has gone. Perhaps I can just start as far back as I can remember and hit the highlights? O:-)

Okay, first - if there are any men readers here that happen to be someone's daddy, then I'd like to wish you a belated, VERY HAPPY Father's Day! My apologies for not getting my "well wishes" out BEFORE your big day. Fatherhood is a truly amazing gift that GOD has given the men in our lives. Being a parent is such a blessing and I do hope that it's never taken for granted. (I say this because I've done just that with the gift of being a mom to our little ones) I ashamedly tell you that I've missed so many moments that I'll never get back doing things that could've waited. All of that said to say that I hope and pray that we realize the role we play in our children's lives and that we'll cherish every moment.

Link is an AMAZING daddy and it's always pure JOY to watch him play with our boys! Here are a few pics of him with our little men...












This one almost brings tears to my eyes... You can see Link's love for Brent as he gently caresses his head.. at the same time you can almost see his heart breaking






Okay.. I'm going to move on with our rewind.... or I'll end up "a mess" and this will be another post that will end up abandoned before I ever get started.



We were blessed to be able to keep my sister's children last week while she and her husband celebrated their anniversary. (15 years, I think?) Yes, having 2 extra kiddos around was a lot of fun! ESPECIALLY when it's those two! Ashley has become one of my very best friends (she's almost 14!).

Clay was Brent's best bud and is now filling the role of a much missed older brother. He and the boys get out and ride through the pasture (they're happiest when it's nice and muddy)! They like to build things together, play games, and do lots of other wild and crazy boy things. (Most I'm sure they hope we won't learn about... hehe)

Ashley took good care of me while she was here. She helped keep the housework done and was great mental support as I conquered some work in Brent's room. I'm in one of those places that I wanted to do SOMETHING, but I didn't really want to change what was his. SOOO... I bought some new bedding - a comforter that I KNOW he'd have LOVED and I started hanging some of his things.

We were given a nice tapestry by Link's family when we lost Brent. It's got three beautiful bucks on it. Two over to one side, and one on the other. They said it was "our three bucks." Well, since Brent LOVED to hunt I thought it was only fitting to hang it above his bed. There's also a photo of Zach & Gabe that I had blown up - it's on canvas... it's now hanging on the wall in Brent's room. I KNOW that Brent would LOVE the new look of his room and I think that kept me from feeling guilty about changing a few things.

I struggle at times with how to deal with things like that... I want to respect his memory, and yet there are things that I know he'd want to see changed. It's crazy... just more mental struggle that I suppose I'll have to work through.

My friend Kim asked about seeing the tapestry.. so I thought I'd go ahead and share some pictures of Brent's room. Now, let me add a disclaimer... I do NOT claim to be an interior decorator! Much of what you'll see are things that were there while Brent was still here. His door is EXACTLY as it was.. the things hanging on and around his windows are the same. Most of what I did was add new bedding and hang the tapestry (and some photos). I also put out more pics of Brent and the boys. One other thing.. the REALLY LOUD paint is from when we first built the house. It was "cute" with their stuff when they were 7, 5, and 2, maybe not so much now. However this is another of those "things" that I'm just not ready to change.










Well, that cleaning frenzy sparked another...
I cleaned out my closet and in doing so I found a box of baby things that I'd saved. Inside of Brent's baby book was the first store bought pregnancy test, the little band that was on his wrist (or was it his ankle?) while in the hospital, along with some other items. I started to flip through the pages of that baby book and began to read about the things he did at one month.. then two. I read (and remembered) how he used to like to twist my hair and sometimes suck on it to fall asleep. I attempted to tell Link of my find, but all I could get out was that I found the first copy of Brent's little foot... then I began to sob. He held me and reminded me that I'd have him back one day.. we just have to be patient.

So those are a few of the things that we've experienced lately.....

Now, to try to steer us back to happier thoughts... I've also kept Allie Grace a few times in recent days. You know I can't resist taking pictures! These are a few of my favorites of her....

Saturday, June 7, 2008 7:49 AM CDT

Another milestone behind us...


Hello, FRIENDS!

Wow... have I got some BIG news to share with you. No, we're not "expecting" or anything like that.... it's more of a "milestone" type thing. Okay... so here goes.....

As you probably all already know, we lost Brent in Memphis. Let me back up a bit and fill you in...

He was treated at St. Jude and when we were told there was nothing more to do we flew off to Vermont in a last attempt to save his life. When things became evident that all we were doing was prolonging his misery we knew we had to make some decisions. (He could no longer eat, sit up, feel his legs, and was in TREMENDOUS pain almost ALL the time) Link & I knew in our hearts that it was time to stop fighting GOD and allow HIM to take Brent HOME.

The decision was made to stop treatment. The next question - where did we want to be? We knew that Brent was MOST happy at St. Jude. It was his FAVORITE PLACE ON EARTH to go. (I know that may sound crazy.. but that's the kind of place St. Jude is)

We talked with our Nurse from there, who talked to the doctors and they graciously allowed us to bring Brent back. He spent his last days on earth, surrounded by family and friends, and all of his FAVORITE nurses at St. Jude. Now, I don't have to tell you how INCREDIBLY hard it was to walk out of that hospital the day he left us without him. I think Link & I both took on the attitude that it didn't matter to us if we NEVER saw that place again. Now, I say that, because of our GREAT LOVE for his doctor and nurses and our LONGING to see them again, I think we both knew we'd eventually go back.

So, this is our "big news." We left with some of our church group and headed to Memphis for a little mission project. You've probably all heard us talk about Habitat for Hope? They are the non-profit that walked "hand-in-hand" with us after Brent relapsed. It's headed up my Mark & Mylissa Horrocks. They themselves were with us down to the minute we walked out of the hospital for the last time. (They spent the morning with us the day that Brent went HOME to be with JESUS) They even walked us all the way to our truck when we left. I can't tell you how many times and ways they were there for us. I CAN tell you that they provided housing that allowed us to keep our family together the last year of Brent's life on earth. (See, St. Jude housing only allows 4 to their housing - there was 5 of us. I'm not "bashing" St. Jude.. YES, they absolutely have to have rules) It meant the world to use to have ALL of our boys together through this.

So.. fast forward a year, 5 months, and ONE day.

Mark had called my brother-in-law a few days earlier and asked if we could come up and help them on some projects they had going. (They've moved their own family to Memphis to assist families like ours. THEN they've opened their OWN home for families to stay in and visit while in treatment or in other children's hospitals) Of course our group was THRILLED to be able to go up and help out. We left on June 2. Yes, that's one year, 5 months and ONE day since we lost Brent. It was a VERY EMOTIONAL trip, but we both KNEW it was something we wanted to do.

God sent us GREAT comfort during this trip. Yes, that's one of the many jobs of the Holy Spirit - HE's our COMFORTER as well as so many other things. I won't lie.. there were MANY tears shed as we traveled the same path we'd taken Brent so many times for treatment and checkups. Yet, our hearts were at peace as we were reminded that he's NOT trapped in a cancer-ridden body any longer. He's NOT crippled, or sad, or lonely... he's with his JESUS! Can you IMAGINE the JOY that his beautiful little heart is experiencing right now??? OH, we're SO THANKFUL that GOD provided a Way for us to be TOGETHER again!

Guess what else??? We not only went to the "Hope House," we also went TO St. Jude. Link & I BOTH wanted to see our nurses so BADLY! Again, it was hard - but it was another HUGE milestone that we've gotten behind us. The bad thing??? We only got to see just a few of them. (Joni, Nekeyah (sp?), Yen, and Morgan)

There were at least three others that we DESPERATELY wanted to see and MISSED them all. Mrs. Joann was one of them. She was Brent's "D Clinic" nurse, but she was SO MUCH MORE to him! He LOVED to pick on her and play pranks on her (along with some of his other nurses). He told me just days before he left us that he "REALLY LOVED Mrs. Joann!" I said, "Sweetie, you should tell her." He quickly asked that we go and bring her back into the room... of course he expressed his LOVE and was SO HAPPY that he did. (She was more like a second mom to him... I CANNOT tell you how crazy he was over her!) With all of that said... we REALLY, REALLY, REALLY WANTED to see her.. but we didn't! We'd just missed her by about an hour. UGH!!!!!!!!! Oh well, it's more incentive to go and visit again - and hopefully SOON! There are so many more sweet ladies that took such wonderful care of Brent and we'd LOVE to see (and HUG) them all!

Now, to quickly sum up the trip....
It was EMOTIONAL.. bittersweet.. but OH SO WONDERFUL! We're VERY THANKFUL to have made this journey back to Memphis with our family/friends. (My sister and her family went as well as David & Joye Patterson and their son Drew... and Brent's bud, "Mr. Brad") It was SO NEAT how GOD worked our first trip back out.. because EVERYONE that went (except for the Pattersons) were the EXACT same people that were there with us the day Brent left.. and they all made that long drive home with us that terrible day.

YES, GOD ALWAYS goes before us... HE prepares our hearts for what's to come and WALKS BESIDE us through the fire when that's the way we have to go. We serve a MIGHTY and LOVING GOD indeed!

Oh, I've talked all about this trip and mentioned our Memphis doctors and nurses... I don't want to sign off without saying "hello" to our care team from Vermont. We MISS all of you (both Memphis & Vermont) TERRIBLY! You all became such a TREMENDOUS part of our lives and we're FOREVER GRATEFUL for the love and care you showed Brent and our family. Hang in there... you're allowing your loving ways to be a MIGHTY TESTIMONY to GOD'S LOVE! WE LOVE YOU ALL!

Of course I can't sign off without thanking the rest of you for walking this journey with us as well. Your prayers and encouragement have meant the world to us. We LOVE YOU!

By and through HIS strength...
Tonya

Monday, June 2, 2008 8:01 PM CDT

Hello Friends! It's been too long once again. I just don't know where all my time goes anymore. I think trying to keep busy has become natural now and I don't seem to know any other speed. LOL!! I'm posting some pictures of some of the work we've done around here on my blog. If you'd like to see it you can click HERE. Yes, the "before" pictures are sad. I've NEVER been one to "do" yard work. Now, I'd mow or do the weed-eating with no questions asked. I just never seemed to find the time to do any gardening. This year my Mom & I have redone our flower bed, made a new one in another spot, done LOTS of flower pots, AND a REAL GARDEN! (Complete with tomatoes, cucumbers, bell peppers, and WATERMELONS!) I'll probably add more as we go, but those were the necessities. HA!!! A friend of mine told us that we could plant a few different kinds of flowers in the garden and have FRESH CUT FLOWERS all summer long! YIPPEE! (With plenty to share too)

Okay.. on to the boys...... or Zach to be more specific. He got me. Not once, but THREE times! Let me explain.................

It was one morning (fairly early) and I was doing housework. Zach & Gabe were sitting at the bar eating breakfast. I opened the door (to the garage) and just as I was about to step down, I saw it! I SCREAMED with everything in me. The boys were obviously quite concerned.

Zach asked,

"What is it Mama?"



To which I replied -

A FROG! (Keep in mind that the garage door was down.. no CREATURES should've been in there) You wanna GUESS what was the next thing out of Zach's mouth?????


"I'm SORRY, Mama, I put him in there."



Oh YES, he did! I don't know WHAT the child was thinking... I suppose this is the first of many "things" like that we'll have to deal with. They ARE BOYS after all.



Then.. it happened again! I was weeding my flower garden (the smaller one) and when I reached for another sprig of grass something jumped. Well, actually TWO things jumped. One was the frog... the other was me - YES, SCREAMING - AGAIN!

Zach once again says, "I'm sorry, Mama... when I put him out of the garage he jumped in your flowerbed. I forgot to tell you. (Yes, I'm TRYING to have a sense of humor about this... hehehehe)


Okay... so just a day or so later I look out the window and guess what I saw??? Something's head was sticking out of the water in our swimming pool. I feared it was a snake. It wasn't. It was a TURTLE! The boys happened to be at my sister's so I called to tell them about the newest find in the pool. I should NOT have been surprised when ZACH confessed that he'd brought the little creature up to the house. (From the creek in our pasture) He didn't know the turtle would get in the pool. Oh well, no harm done. However, just between us... I'm a little afraid of what I might find next. HA!!!


Other than those little moments, things have been pretty normal around here. Whatever "normal" is for us. I miss the "normal" that we had a few years ago.. BEFORE cancer entered our world. I MISS my boy with all that I am. Most days we "do" well... others... we'll, I guess it's all part of the grieving process. I find myself dreaming of the day we'll all be together again. I can't even imagine all of the beauty and splendor that Brent is seeing. For his sake, I wouldn't bring him back for anything... for ours, I'd give almost anything under the sun for another day with him.

Alrighty... I'm going to go for now. I promise to TRY to check in more often. I can't tell you how it blesses us that you're still checking in. You can't know how much your friendship, love, support, and PRAYERS mean to us! (Oh, I'm going to have a HUGE "milestone" to share with you in a few days... stay tuned! O;-)

Until next time..
With love,
Tonya


(I just noticed the date as I entered this post. It's been a year and 5 months since Brent went to be with JESUS... oh, I can't wait until FOREVER)

Thursday, May 15, 2008 2:26 PM CDT

Monday, May 5, 2008 9:16 PM CDT

Hello, Friends...

I'm SOOOOOOOOO SORRY it's taken me so long to update. I signed on last week (about mid-week) to make a slide show but lost the whole thing within minutes of being finished. (Talk about DEPRESSING) I'll try to do another one in a day or two.. I have quite a few pics to share.

I've been trying really hard to keep my mind busy these days. The last Sunday in April was "memorial" at the church where Brent was "laid to rest." (I HATE to even use that term because I KNOW that he's NOT really there... he's with JESUS!) Some days we just handle things better than others... but going "up there" (to the cemetery) is NEVER easy. This past week has been a little better... but then there's Mother's Day coming up.

Holidays are ALWAYS bittersweet. Every one of them is harder because he's not here with us... and SWEET because he once was. I'm SO THANKFUL that GOD chose me to be his mom. He is one of the sweetest gifts I've ever been given. I'm THANKFUL that I have the memories... and I'm thankful that we still have Zach & Gabe... and yet I miss my sweet Brent so VERY MUCH. We all do.

We had a TERRIBLE scare over the weekend. Something really weird happened to the computer. I normally "fix" it when little things go wrong. Not this time... it would only stay on for seconds at a time then it'd go black. I was MORTIFIED that I'd lost FOREVER hundreds of pictures of Brent and those of him and the boys together. I prayed, and PRAYED, and PRAYED for a miracle. Guess what?? I got one! (But not til after MANY hours of WORRYING!) I don't know WHAT happened, but after cutting power to it and turning it on again.. it worked PERFECTLY! (Praise GOD, all of our pictures were still there.. safe and sound!!!) A friend of ours came by and told me how to "back up" the pictures to a portable... well, it stores computer files. (I forgot what it was called.. LOL!) I'm going to buy one of those little things, put the pictures on it, and put it in the bank vault. (Not taking any risks of EVER losing them!)

Anyway.. I've been a little more "down" in recent days and have been keeping myself busy outside. (It's the first time EVER that I've taken an interest in planting flowers and such) It's something.. in an odd way working outside and seeing the change really helps on those days that seem to hit the hardest. Link handles things the way I do. I think with all things considered we're doing really well.

The boys are ALWAYS MISSING Brent, but they keep each other busy with the silly things they do. We're SO VERY THANKFUL to have them! It's such a blessing to watch them grow into little men... and to get so many glimpses of Brent through them.

Okay.. I feel like I'm rambling tonight. My mind is still a bit cluttered, but I really didn't want to wait another day before checking in again.

THANKS SOOOOO MUCH for checking in on us, and for lifting our family in your prayers.

LOVE,
Tonya
Link, Zach & Gabe

Monday, April 14, 2008 1:21 PM CDT

My "Miracle Monday" post over at my blog today was SHORT & SWEET - it's all about Allie Grace. My sister-in-law (Elizabeth) and her hubby (Jason) went to court this morning. The adoption is ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY OVER!

Allie Grace is the FOREVER child of Jason & Bibby! THANK YOU, JESUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just a little over a month ago they were in the process of waiting for a "possible" baby. There had been a few times that it looked like it might happen, but each time it failed. Then.... "someone that knew someone" set them up with a couple from HERE! They met and instantly connected. (All of this was done outside of an adoption agency!) Is GOD ALL OVER THIS or what?????

Once again, I PRAISE OUR LORD for this beautiful little miracle HE'S given us!! I'd also like to thank those of you who've been praying for them. We are OH-SO-BLESSED!

We LOVE YOU, Allie Grace.... we're SO BLESSED to have you in our family!!!









Thursday, April 10, 2008 1:11 PM CDT

Hello, Friends!

I'm checking in today to share some pics of our beautiful niece, Allie Grace. THANKS SO MUCH, to Dejavu Photography for permission to use the shots!! Oh, and don't be confused by her weight on the photos, she's "modeling" for baby announcements. I'm not really sure what her exact weight was. She weighed somewhere around 6 pounds and she was 21 inches long - she was born on Easter Sunday, that little angel of ours.

Thursday, April 3, 2008 9:37 PM CDT

Happy Birthday to.....

Kaylee Jo (my friend Sarah's baby - April 4)

my sister, KERRY (April 5)

Link's Mom, Mrs. Barbara (April 6)

Mr. Sam (Link's Dad - April 19)


There are other family birthdays this month but SURELY I'll be back before THEN!



Hello, Friends!

I'm SOOO SORRY it's been so long since I've checked in. It seems as if it's not one thing, it's another. Our little princess is doing well (so I hear). If you could hear the "whining" in my tone as I type this, you'd KNOW I'm having a bit of an attitude problem. LOL!! I've been battling a COLD since she arrived! After months and MONTHS of praying for GOD to bless Jason & Elizabeth with a little one... and she FINALLY arrives.. I get sick! I've been in and looked at her a time or two... but when I think back to when Zach was a baby, and how he treaded the fine line of having "RSV," it's motivation enough to make me keep my distance. I can't stand the thought of that little angel coughing or struggling to breathe. As you can see, I've been feeling QUITE sorry for myself! HA!!!!!! It's okay... SURELY it'll pass in the next week or so. (By that, I mean the cold.. can't make any promises on my child-like attitudes.. HA!!)

As for other family stuff.. the boys and I have been in a rush as the end of school draws near. As you can imagine this past year without Brent has brought many daily struggles. There've been times that I couldn't make it through the day... and times when the boys were struggling. It's TRULY been a blessing to be able to teach them at home. I don't know how they'd have made it in "real school" the first year without Brent. They would've had to sit in class when they need to crawl up in our laps and grieve.

Academically, they're both doing very well. We're just behind a little on a few lessons and HOPE to stop in late May or June. It's no biggie.. we'll make it!

Now, I've got lots of pictures that I took this week of the boys. We've had LOTS of rain here and they couldn't wait to get out and play in it!

Our pasture behind our house was flooded.. the boys went WILD! Heehee..

Oh, and when you watch the slide.. don't pay any attention to their bad hair. They were playing HARD and didn't care at all that they had "bed head" late in the afternoon.. HA!!

SO... WITHOUT further delay, here's the slide.....

Now.. on to other things......

I'm pretty sure I've mentioned that my friend Susan has gotten me hooked on blogging. There are actually several moms that you'd recognize from caringbridge that have taken it up. I LOVE Brent's caringbridge site and I'm so attached to all of you. Many, I've never even "met," and still I feel there's a bond. With that said, I'm not ready to give up our place here... but it is easier in some ways to blog. (I don't feel like I'm dishonoring Brent if I don't mention him in every post because that is more my space) I know, I'm weird... but I've battled this worry and found that to be a common ground for me to post my ramblings. SOOOOO... all of THIS rambling to tell you that today was "Thankful Thursday." I've met a very sweet lady named Iris. She's actually the host for this meme. Her post today was on Brent. If you'd like to read it you can click HERE. It TRULY BLESSED my heart that she has come to love our sweet little man and that she shared her thoughts about him today.

My post on "Thankful Thursday" was about how BLESSED we were by our community's support during Brent's battles here on earth. I shared about our local school system (East Webster) and how they went out of their way to make him feel special and loved. (There are lots of pictures there too) If you'd like to read it you can click HERE

Okay.. I'm going to turn in now. Thanks SOOOOO MUCH for visiting us here, for remembering our family (and our sweet Brent) and for your prayers!

We love you...
Tonya

PS.. Elizabeth had Allie Grace's pictures made... I'll post some of those as soon as I can get my hands on them!

Thursday, March 27, 2008 9:29 PM CDT

Introducing Allie Grace Jenkins...

Thursday, March 27, 2008 10:27 AM CDT

Morning Friends!

The adoption is still not exactly final. I really don't know how much of this I'm supposed to say or not to say so I'm trying to be informative without saying something that they might want kept private. I CAN say that the hold up has NOT been with the birth parents. (Which is a HUGE PRAISE) It's all legal mumbo-jumbo on the hospital end. (They weren't being very helpful at all to put it nicely) Allie Grace should LEGALLY BELONG to her new Mommy and Daddy by the end of the day. She will HOPEFULLY be HOME by then as well. I'll check back when everything starts to fall into place. As it looks... it's a DONE DEAL.. just some minor kinks to get through this morning.

We're PRAISING GOD that she's a HEALTHY baby girl! They could find NOTHING wrong with her - nothing at all. Now we'll pray for these things....

- Please pray that anything legal will be worked through quickly.
- Pray that the hospital won't hold them up and will discharge her IMMEDIATELY
- Pray for safe travels for Mama, Papa, and Allie Grace as they come HOME!

THANKS SOOOOO MUCH for your prayers!!!

I'll check back as soon as things start happening.






Wednesday, March 26, 2008 10:56 PM CDT

Happy Birthday, Lora Beth! We love you!!



Hello Friends...

The "Happy Dancers" have their shoes on and are READY to JUMP and SHOUT... only we still don't "officially" know anything. The hospital that Allie Grace was taken to has a "no cell phone" policy so phone calls between them and home have been few and far between. I can honestly say I still don't know anything. Our 72 hour wait is up... and I'm assuming that no news is GOOD news... however I won't jump the gun and make any official announcements UNTIL we hear from the proud new Mama & Papa. You guys hang in there... I PROMISE to update as SOON as I know something. Until then.. our dancing crew is warming up... Heehee...



Thanks SO MUCH for praying and keeping watch with us. You just can't know how much you mean to us.

BIG (((HUGS))) from a VERY EXCITED Aunt and Family...
We love you!





Wednesday, March 26, 2008 1:18 PM CDT

Hello Friends...

I was hoping to show up with the "happy dancers" but I still don't know anything for sure. As best I can tell they got some pretty amazing doctor reports. If I've not got my wires crossed up they were told that she looks like a perfectly healthy baby to them. I thought that maybe there might be more testing so I was waiting for final results before I shared the news. I didn't want to make you wait any longer... and I've not heard anything DIRECTLY from Elizabeth, so we'll take the GREAT NEWS and wait. When we get the final word I'll break out the ole happy dancing crew and we'll CELEBREATE!

As for other good news... we're getting down to about 8 hours before the adoption is FINAL! You'll probably hear us shouting PRAISES from here! LOL!!!

I'll check back again if/when I hear anything different.

THANKS SO MUCH for praying!

Love you,
Tonya






Tuesday, March 25, 2008 9:18 PM CDT


Hello Again...

I'm checking back to let you know that we don't know anything. LOL! How's that for an informative update? I talked to Elizabeth a little earlier and the doctor had just walked in. (She was saying, I think this is the doctor, let me let you go) SOOOO... I can't say for sure if it was or not.

She seemed pretty confident that everything was just routine. I was a little nervous when we talked earlier so I may have gotten this wrong, but I THINK that I heard them say that the doctor in Jackson was the only Neonatal heart specialist in the state of Mississippi.

I'm thinking since we've not heard anything tonight it'll probably be tomorrow before we know anything. I PROMISE to update ASAP.

THANK YOU SO MUCH for your prayers and words of encouragement. I agree with our friend Randy. I think "little bit" may very well be breaking us in. She's not to be outdone by her older cousins. (I've probably told you this before... but Zach was so accident prone that after a while I started to worry they'd call social services when we took him in the ER) HA!!

Until next time....
Tonya

PS.. I did get to see the little doll yesterday. She's BEAUTIFUL! I took pics but they were with Elizabeth's camera. Obviously they've been a little too busy to send them. I'll share those ASAP as well.




Tuesday, March 25, 2008 4:56 PM CDT


Ijust got a call from Elizabeth just a few minutes ago. She'd been told yesterday that Allie Grace might have a heart murmur. We understand that this is not uncommon, nor is it life threatening. The pediatrician wants to be thorough and has had her taken to another hospital. They're assuring us that everything looks okay, but they have to rule other things out. We don't have a lot of "big hospitals" around here so when there's something more serious they send you to Tupelo or Jackson. Allie Grace is on her way to Jackson. (They're flying her down) Jason & Elizabeth will follow in their car. I guess you can see why there's stress? Maybe not.. maybe I overreact when it comes to unexplained illness in children. I know we're supposed to trust GOD in all things, and we will. PLEASE PRAY for good test results for this little one. We'll be praying for Jason & Elizabeth as they wait.

At about 9:30 tonight we'll be 48 hours into the 72 that are required before the adoption is final. There will be some SERIOUS REJOICING in our area around that time tomorrow night! =-)

I'll keep you posted....

Thanks for your prayers!





Monday, March 24, 2008 11::22 AM CDT

As many of you know.. my sister-in-law (Elizabeth) and her hubby Jason have been in the process of adopting their first baby. After many months of "maybes" there has been an AMAZING thing happen. Someone near by found them and the rest as they say, is history. We've been waiting on the birth of baby girl Jenkins. Well, YESTERDAY - EASTER SUNDAY she arrived!

Her name is Allie Grace Jenkins. Allie is named after Elizabeth's Great Aunt (Their Grand-Daddy's sister) Grace was chosen because she's the result of GOD'S GRACE & PROVISION.

She weighed 6 pounds and 8 ounces. She's 21 inches long and I hear she has a head FULL of hair! Oh, I can't WAIT to meet her!

There is a 72 hour waiting period in the state of Mississippi - after that it's all legal. (We're almost 13 hours into it now) Please pray with us for a smooth transition and many years to come with this beautiful HEALTHY baby girl.

I'll post pictures as soon as I can. I'm on my way to the hospital now. I'm SO EXCITED to meet this sweet baby girl! Wait, I said that already... LOL! I can't help it... I'm EXCITED!!

THANKS SOOOO MUCH for your prayers! Check back soon for a peek at our newest bundle of JOY!





Saturday, March 22, 2008 10::22 PM CDT


PRAISE, HIM! HE is RISEN!!



Happy Easter, My Friends!

I wanted to check in quickly to wish each of you a VERY BLESSED Easter. My mind races with thoughts and my heart overflows with LOVE when I think of my JESUS and all HE'S done for me. Some may doubt HE'S real... some may say HE'S not the CHOSEN ONE. Friends, I want to tell you that HE IS REAL - HE IS RISEN - and HE'S my EVERYTHING! I've felt HIS presence when my world began to fall apart. HE'S held me CLOSE on nights that I cried myself to sleep. HE'S the ONE that supplies my JOY in the middle of the greatest sorrow of my life. If you don't know HIM, please take a minute and ask GOD to show you the TRUTH. The Bible says that if you seek HIM with ALL your heart, HE WILL BE FOUND BY YOU. I pray you'll know and love HIM too.

Please take a minute to watch this video below. It's AMAZING! I saw it earlier this week on my friend Kelley's blog. You will be blessed!






Thanks SOOOOO much for your prayers! We LOVE YOU!!









Thursday, March 20, 2008 9:22 PM CDT

Hello Friends....

I thought I'd check in once more before the week was out. I wanted to come and wish you all a VERY HAPPY and BLESSED Easter. We're planning to attend a "sunrise service" this Sunday morning. We'll wrap it up with a pancake breakfast. (Speaking of.. I need to update you on the Habitat for Hope pancake breakfast - more on that in just a few)

So.. for those of you who may not know... Brent accepted CHRIST as LORD of his life on Easter Sunday. Yes, every "holiday" is bittersweet and this one will be no different. It's BITTER because of the HUGE PART of our lives that's now missing... and SWEET because we KNOW we will see him again.

I thought I'd share an Easter pic from a few years back. I'm not sure how old it is.. it was DEFINITELY made while Brent was in treatment





Yes, we miss our sweet boy so much and LONG for the day that we'll be together again. I've recently gone back and read through the journal history again. Those last days were nothing short of a miracle. I'd be lying if I said it was easy to relive those days, but even through the tears it blessed me. In one of the updates I shared how I was praying over Brent. I was telling how my voice cracked and he KNEW I was struggling and how he IMMEDIATELY started praying over me - asking GOD to strengthen me. (Or was it encourage?) At any rate... our boy was AMAZING! I'd give almost anything to be able to have a hug right now... or to see his sweet smile. I miss him so!


Okay.. let me move on or I'll not be able to finish this update at all....

So... the pancake breakfast that was put on by a VERY KINDHEARTED group of Ashley Furniture employees turned out very well. I hate that I wasn't able to do more "advertising" and help raise awareness, but the breakfast was still a success. THANK YOU, to everyone who helped!





As you know, Mark & Mylissa (Habitat for Hope) mean the WORLD to us. There are so many organizations that are set up with good intentions... but this one was set on GOD INTENTIONS. YES, there is NO DOUBT that the LORD has called them to this ministry - and they are wholeheartedly obeying. As hard as it is to think of going back to Memphis, after spending just a few hours with them this past Saturday, my hubby is already talking about going up and helping out. HOPEFULLY some of our Bible study group can go with us and help as well. I'd love for everyone to be able to see the heart of this organization and the things that go on there daily.

It's so easy to get settled in our daily lives when things are going well. HOWEVER, spending just an hour around families that are in a LITERAL BATTLE for their child's life will change you. We know, because we've lived it. I truly think volunteering with HFH would be the ULTIMATE "mission trip." I mean, can you think of a time in someone's life when they need LOVE, PEACE, and FAITH MORE? I'm sure you can see we're FOREVER ENDEBTED to this sweet couple and the life of sacrifice they give.

Here's a picture of Brent, his buddy "Mr. Mark" (and Gabe) outside of Chili's in Memphis. Brent just LOVED to argue with Mark. They were a HOOT when you'd get em together.







If you feel led to sponsor this OUTSTANDING organization just click the graphic below!





Alrighty, my Friends, I'm going to wrap this up for the day. As always I THANK you for hanging with us here and for your continued prayers for our family. I've mentioned before that I've started "blogging." It's been a fun way to ramble about any and everything that's on my mind. If you'd like to read more endless babbling (and maybe even see random family pics) you can visit me at nason5.blogspot.com

One of my bestest friends, (Susan) is also blogging. (Over look my preschool humor) Stop by... I KNOW you'll be BLESSED!


Oh yea... PLEASE keep praying for the adoption of baby girl Jenkins. She is due this Sunday (Easter Sunday). This little angel will be theirs within 72 hours of her birth. I'll update AS SOON as she arrives! (If not before)



Until next time....
We love you,
Tonya


PS... I'm not sure how the "spam" thing works. I know that some happen electronically. HOWEVER, if you are a HUMAN and you actually have a HEART... PLEASE DO NOT SPAM our guestbook???? (We've been getting some HIDIOUS guestbook entries... UGH!)

Sunday, March 16, 2008 5:52 PM CDT

Hello Friends...

This is one of those updates that I just don't know how to begin. My heart is heavy for a sweet family that we met through our children's battles. You may have heard me mention the Oswalt's here before. We know them through caringbridge and email. (I've not had the pleasure of meeting them) Carter's Mommy, Lindy was expecting their new baby boy on July 7th, 2008. I don't know how to put this into words, so I'll quote from his site...

"Baby Andrew Hayes Oswalt was delivered at 7:18p.m., The umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck 3 times with no other deformities. They will go ahead and do the blood work as planned. He is absolutely beautiful and so much looks like Spencer Reagan. Lindy did a beautiful job. Thank you for your prayers, please continue to lift them up for the difficult days ahead."

Yes, I am just heartbroken to watch another family have to say "good-bye" to their precious child. If you have a moment please stop by their site and leave them a word of encouragement? You can find them here. You can also visit their family blog at here. I'll also ask that you lift this sweet family in prayer as they face the days ahead.


Thanks for your visit and for your prayers...
We love you,
Tonya







Wednesday, March 12, 2008 12:58 AM CDT

Hello Friends....

I'm late as usual on my updates. (SORRY!) Things have just been BUSY this week (and last) and I truly meant to get back here before now. There is so much to share and I really don't know where to begin. I'm thinking I last promised to update on Link's birthday so we'll start from there.

As I shared before, Zach INSISTED that we let "Daddy" choose what he wanted for his birthday dinner. (Fair enough, right? Well, Yeah, but I've been with Link for something like 18 years (dating included... I was pretty CERTAIN that I KNEW what he wanted) Don't worry... this was ALL ABOUT Link and the boys so I humored Zach and asked Link to plan his menu. He confirmed what I already knew... He wanted me to grill him a steak and serve it up with baked potatoes. We sauteed onions, bell peppers and mushrooms (just the way daddy likes) along with baking some garlic bread. Link had also asked for brownies so of course we made those too. It was so cute... even knowing that their dad wanted brownies, Gabe STILL INSISTED that we buy him a cake too. (There was WAY MORE FOOD than we could've ever eaten) We truly went "all out." I wish I'd have taken pictures of our "cheesy decorations" but once the "party of 4" got started I forgot all about pictures. We had LOTS of fun decorating, cooking and pampering Link. I think with the help of our two little fellas, this was one birthday he won't soon forget.

Oh, before I forget... I was going to share some pictures of the cards and gifts the boys made for their daddy. We also bought him a few things... but nothing as sweet as these....

Now, on to our other good news... the NEWS we've been LONGING TO HEAR! Link's sister Elizabeth (better known to all here as "Aunt Bibby") and her husband Jason are in the final stages of adoption. This is TOTALLY a "GOD THING" because it LITERALLY just happened over night. And guess what???

Yes, we are just DELIGHTED with the news. Our little princess is due on March 23. The adoption will be final 72 hours after birth. PLEASE pray with us for a smooth transition? Elizabeth is a sweetie and this would surely make her dreams come TRUE! I PROMISE to update ASAP as things develop.

Now, in other news.... We went with our "church group" down to the Mississippi Gulf Coast to help make some repairs on a couple of houses that suffered damage from Hurricane Katrina. We were only there for 2 nights (the men worked something like 8-10 hours). The first of the two was spent unloading, unpacking, buying food and cooking for everyone. The second day we went out to the first job site and worked a little while, but were delayed due to lack of supplies. (I don't think they were expecting us to tear out that room so quickly) The men moved to the second site and finished a project there while we kept the little ones busy and prepared the next meals. On the last day there they went back and completed the job of hanging sheet rock and replacing the ceiling. I know, it sounds like the ladies didn't do much... but we did! We were up by 4:30 AM getting dressed and preparing breakfast for almost 30 people. Then we had to clean, tend children, and move on to the next meal. We pretty much stayed in the kitchen. We know our place. HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just kidding!

So now I'll share some pictures from our trip....

Okay... I KNOW there was more to share but honestly I can't remember right now what it was. Thank you SOOOOOOO MUCH for stopping by and for the many prayers you've lifted and continue to lift for our family.

We LOVE YOU,
Tonya

Thursday, March 6, 2008 5:20 AM CST

Hello Friends...

I'm signing on quickly to let you know that I do intend on updating about Link's birthday and to remind everyone again about the pancake breakfast in Memory of Brent to raise money for Habitat for Hope on Saturday, March 15. (If you've not heard of this organization, please click on one of the graphics either in the post below or above. Habitat for Hope is NOT the same as Habitat for Humanity. Well, we do help provide housing, but it's on a MUCH GREATER level.

I'm very pressed on time this morning but promise to update by the weekend. (Or first of next week at the latest) We're hoping to have some really WONDERFUL news to share. Just a hint... we're PRAYING that Jason & Elizabeth (Link's baby sister) will get a definite YES on a baby this weekend. (They've been in the adoption process for a while, but no baby as of yet) PLEASE, join us in praying GOD'S will and peace for them while they wait.

There will also be a much more interesting update from us (Link, me & the boys) by Saturday. No, no baby for us... :-( Well, at least NOT FOR us.Hehehehe... I'm sure I'll drive Aunt Bibbie CRAZY asking to keep her new bundle of JOY! LOL

Stay tuned...






Thursday, February 28, 2008 9:48 PM CST

Hello Friends...

I can't believe it's almost been a whole week since I last updated here. There's been so much going on and I've got lots to tell you.

Before I go any farther... I just HAVE to share this. It just CRACKED ME UP!! I'm sitting in the school room typing up this update. I could hear how quietly the boys are being in the living room. CONSUMED with LOVE I yelled out, "I LOVE MY BOYS!"

Zach replied, "I love you too!"
Gabe replied, "I love you MORE than Zach does!"

HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They're SO FUNNY! Now, they're arguing over who loves me more. It kinda reminds me of those last days spent with Brent and the "I love you MORE wars." As crazy as these little ones make me... they sure know how to melt my heart! (Sure makes me miss my Brent too)

Okay, so on with the update....

As Gabe used to say, "Firs fings Firs" (this was BEFORE he could speak clearly enough for even ME to understand him... HE HEHE)

So, a while back my Mom had some tests done. She'd been dealing with pain in her hip and had an MRI. You may remember that they scared us silly by saying that it was "abnormal" and possibly cancerous. After being given the wrong diagnosis a couple of times she FINALLY saw TWO doctors that agreed she needed hip replacement. The bone had collapsed (That's why it looked abnormal on the MRI) and she would someday soon need surgery. After trying to "deal with it" my mom FINALLY decided to have the replacement. Her surgery was Tuesday. I apologize for not mentioning this earlier. I TRULY MEANT to, and to ask for prayer for her. My feeble mind doesn't always function in the way I expect. SOOO... she'll hopefully be coming home tomorrow. We'll be praying for a speedy recovery and NO problems! (It seems that there is a possibility that she can pop the new hip out of place - at least until the muscles get strong enough to hold it) She's NEVER been one to sit still... so this will be a challenge!

On another note.. I'd like to wish my sweet hubby a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY! (It's going to be Saturday, March 1) I say I'm wishing him a happy birthday... don't worry about the TOP SECRET information I'm about to share.. Link doesn't read the updates. Hehehe... (We usually read the guestbook TOGETHER, I pull it up for him)

The boys are SO EXCITED about planning a special day for their daddy. They've already made birthday cards and have planned out his menu. (I told Zach that I already knew what Daddy would like, but he INSISTED that we let HIM choose) So, I asked Link and he confirmed what I already knew. I think it's so sweet that the boys are so considerate.

Now, guess how we're going to celebrate?? Well, other than cooking all of his favorite foods... the boys are wanting to take him to the "Monster Truck Rally, or is it Monster Truck Jam?" in Tupelo, Mississippi! Yes, we are rednecks. I'm surrounded by men-folks... I had to go with the old saying, "If you can't beat em, JOIN EM!" Ha!!

I also wanted to share something GREAT that's going to happen on March 15. My Dad works with some men who "bike" to raise money for non-profit organizations. Since our time with Mark & Mylissa Horrocks (Habitat for Hope) and the SUPPORT they've given, my Daddy has been SOLD OUT! He's told everyone that would listen what GREAT folks they are and how they NEED support. With that said, some of the kindhearted men he works with decided to join together to have a fundraiser. With that said, they will be doing it in memory of our Sweet Brent. Only this time it will be a pancake breakfast.. not a "bike ride." (I keep saying "bike" I mean motorcycles) The breakfast will be held at Applebee's, Barnes Crossing. (I'm assuming that means AT the mall... NOPE, I just "googled" it and it gives this address... 885 BARNES CROSSING RD, and phone 662.840.4009) SOOO... it'll be $5 a plate and starts at 8 AM. If you can't make it but would like to help support Habitat for Hope you can find their site by clicking on the graphic below. Please remember to say it's in Memory of Brent so we can send you a Thank You! (I've not done well at all in the past with "thank you notes" but I'm trying to get started NOW)

It seems like there was more to tell, but my little brain is starting to run low on fuel. Before I sign off for the night I'd like to invite you over to my blog Safe In His Arms. It's sometimes easier to update daily from there because MANY of the days that I post are on subjects that someone else has chosen. Some days I'm just too lazy to think too much, others, well, it's just too emotional to try to focus on my life for too long at a time. With all of that said, I DO plan to keep updating here and will do so as often as possible. Also, one of my VERY BEST BUDS (Susan) is blogging. She's been a TREMENDOUS source of support and inspiration to me! I KNOW you'll be blessed. You can find her here
Forever His.


Okay... I'm turning in for the night. THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH for checking in and as always, we THANK YOU for your prayers!

Love,
Tonya



Restoration from the Shepherd
2/28/2008

"He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake."
PSALM 23:3

"Your Shepherd knows your every need. He knows you will grow weary in your pilgrimage with Him. He knows there are times when you need rest. Your Shepherd knows just what you need to be refreshed. At times you need to lie in lush meadows or beside quiet streams. Sometimes you need to be held by your Shepherd. At other times you need to enjoy the pleasures the Shepherd provides. The Shepherd will not always replenish you in the same way; His response to you will always perfectly correspond to your present need.

As you follow your Shepherd there will be times when your soul becomes exhausted, perhaps because of trials you are experiencing or temptations you are resisting. The persecution you face or the burdens you are carrying for others may be wearing you down. You may be weary from the discipline the Shepherd has brought upon you. There will be times when you feel you can go no further in your Christian pilgrimage. Your Shepherd knows when you have reached this point, and He always has a remedy! There are many ways He can strengthen you: through His word, through others, or through your circumstances. He knows what you need even better than you do.

Have you grown weary? Does your soul need to be refreshed? Don't attempt to recover on your own. Only God knows how to heal and rejuvenate a soul (Isa. 40:28-31; Matt. 11:28-30). He will do it perfectly, sometimes in surprising ways. Ask Him to restore you, and then be prepared to respond to what He does next."




You can learn more about Dr. Blackaby, his writings, and his ministry at www.blackaby.org, or write:

Blackaby Ministries International
P.O. Box 16338
Atlanta, GA 30321

Friday, February 22, 2008 9:21 PM CST

I heard this song playing on the TV the other day. (Disney Channel I guess) I know it's meant to be a "love song" but I can't help but think of Brent every time I hear it. I thought I'd share the lyrics with you. I hope you're all having a GREAT weekend!

Wednesday, February 20, 2008 9:00 AM CST

Hello Friends...

I thought I'd check in quickly to share something that's sometimes done in blogville. (Out in the land of blogging) It's called "Wordless Wednesday" and the idea behind it is to post your favorite picture(s) without the normal chat. Well, since I've obviously already been yacking, this won't quite be a "Wordless Wednesday." I posted with "Word FILLED Wednesday" today instead on my blog, so I thought I'd share some pictures here. They were made of Brent and the boys few years ago. I'd guess this was made in the fall of the year BEFORE he got sick. It made me laugh... you can TOTALLY see Brent was a cut up even then......



Here's one of Brent being silly...





This is one of Brent and me... OH, how we MISS our boy!











Monday, February 18, 2008 10:40 AM CST

Hello Friends...

I wanted to check in quickly to fill you in on our weekend. I last updated on the 12th so I guess I'll pick up from there.

As you may know, Link's baby sister (Elizabeth... aka: Aunt Bibbie) owns a flower shop in Ackerman. Well, knowing that Valentine's Day is one of her busiest days of the year.. I went and helped deliver flowers. It was SO MUCH fun getting to see the look of JOY on each face as we handed off their "happies" from their loved ones. Even though we weren't TECHNICALLY the ones doing the "giving," it was still a GREAT feeling to be a part of making someone happy.

The only request I made when I was assigned to deliver flowers, was that she not assign me to deliver flowers. Elizabeth was WISE to put her sister Virginia to ride/work with me. (I'd have been SO LOST that I might have ended up back in LA AGAIN! Not that I'd have been upset by it) Seriously, I had a GREAT time working with Virginia and if I'd have missed out on the delivering, I'd have missed all the BLESSINGS I described above.

Zach & Gabe and Ash & Clay spent the day and night with my Mom. She let them have a Valentine party at her house. (I'm sure they had enough chocolate to last a month) Ha!!! She told yesterday how the boys kept offering to take her back to the house when she'd gone out to "play" with them. We're HEAVILY SUSPECTING that they wanted to get rid of her so they could drive my dad's ranger at INSANE SPEEDS! (The ranger is some type of 4 wheel, jacked up golf cart thingy. It's like a crossover 4 wheeler/golf cart) YES, our boys apparently LOVE to scare the adult female caregivers SILLY!

Well, as for the weekend... the boys had Clay to say here and I got to have my Pookie - (that's what I've called Ashley since she was just a baby). Ash & I got up Saturday morning and went to Tupelo. I've FINALLY started putting pictures out and attempting to decorate. We found that Hobby Lobby has some ADORABLE frames so that was really the GOAL of the trip. We of course couldn't be THAT CLOSE to the mall and not stop in there. It was lunch time and we were HUNGRY! Besides, we wanted to hit a couple of other stores before we left. We knew IMMEDIATELY that we wouldn't be eating in the food court though. There were several Southern Gospel groups singing and I KNEW that if I sat down the tears would start to flow! (There are so few songs that I can hear and not cry) Ash is so protective - she started acting like she didn't wanna eat there either. We agreed to hit the couple of stores we went in for (to buy lotion and nail stuff), grabbed our lunch "to go," and got out of there!

When we got back home the boys were gone off with Link so we did her fingers and toes. We then settled on the couch for a movie. (She's like one of my BEST buds! It's like having another woman around! She's 13... and OH-SO-GROWN UP!) This little lady has GOT IT TOGETHER as far as a spiritual life is concerned as well. She's NOT into "dating" and boys and all the other stuff girls that age are into. She FULLY UNDERSTANDS that those relationships are BEST in marriage! I LOVE how OLD -FASHIONED she is in her thinking. (I MUST SAY, my sis and her hubby are doing a FANTASTIC job with those kids)

Oh, there was one other thing I wanted to share with you before I sign off today. I don't know if you noticed... there was something quite humorous about one of the pictures in the slideshow below. When I first saw the picture of Gabe with Grace sitting in front of him on the slide I thought it was just AMAZING that he let Susan snap a "sweet" picture of him. Well, after I watched the slide all the way through about THREE times I noticed that he wasn't being SWEET at all! The little stinker was putting "rabbit ears" on her! LOOK CLOSELY at the pics and you'll see it. EVIL GRIN AND ALL!! (Sorry Susan) HA!!!!!!!!

Okay, I'm going to sign off for now. I hope you all have an AMAZING week!

We love you,
Tonya



PS... I'm adding a devotion from NAMB.NET. If you missed the picture of Grace & Gabe... then don't forget to take a moment and watch the slide from Susan's birthday weekend again! It's TOO CUTE!







Take up Your Cross
2/18/2008

"Then Jesus said to His disciples, ""If anyone desires to come after Me,
let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me."""
MATTHEW 16:24


"Your ""cross"" is God's will for you, regardless of the cost. Taking up your cross is a choice; it is not beyond your control. You may have health problems or a rebellious child or financial pressures, but do not mistake these as your ""cross to bear."" Neither circumstances you face nor consequences of your own actions are your cross. Your cross will be to voluntarily participate in Christ's sufferings as He carries out His redemptive purposes (Phil. 3:10). Paul said he rejoiced in his sufferings because he knew that by them he was able to participate in the suffering required to bring others into Christian maturity (Col. 1:24).

We tend to want to go immediately from ""denying ourselves"" to ""following Jesus."" But you can never follow Jesus unless you have first taken up your cross. There are aspects of God's redemptive work that can be accomplished only through suffering. Just as Christ had to suffer in order to bring salvation, there will be hardships you may have to endure in order for God to bring salvation to those around you. Jesus did not talk with His disciples about the cross until they had come to know He was the Christ (Matt. 16:21). You will never be able to endure the suffering of the cross unless you have first been convinced that Jesus is the Christ. Once you have settled your relationship with Christ, He will introduce you to your cross.

There is no Christianity without a cross. If you are waiting for a relationship with God that never requires suffering or inconvenience, then you cannot use Christ as your model. God's will for you involves a cross. First, take up your cross, then you can follow Him."






You can learn more about Dr. Blackaby, his writings, and his ministry at www.blackaby.org, or write:

Blackaby Ministries International
P.O. Box 16338
Atlanta, GA 30321










Tuesday, February 12, 2008 11:53 AM CST

Hello Friends... LOOOONNNGGG time no talk, eh? I can fill you in on my excuses, but most are not worth your time. He he... There were quite a few days that I barely had enough energy to get through the day. PRAISE GOD, I've been pretty much back to my normal, unusually hyper self. (Good for ME, NOT so good for those who have to put up with me... HA!!)

Now, to share some GOOD NEWS! Zach has been ALL CLEAR since the third round of antibiotic. That was A HUGE PRAISE because his health had EVERYTHING to do with even MORE good news! This past weekend the boys and I went to see my dear friend Susan! Yes, she's our precious Jordan's mom. It was her 29th birthday and we were there to CELEBRATE it with her! (Hey, she's one of my best friends... I'm not giving up her "REAL" age! Hehe... for now, we're the SAME age... HOW COOL is THAT??)

If you've followed Jordan's site, or Susan's blog Forever His you already KNOW how INCREDIBLE this family is! The boys had SOOOOOO MUCH FUN with Jordan!!!! They also got to play with Rick (Susan's hubby) and the youngest of five (Joel). Rick SPOILED us ROTTEN with MANY AMAZING meals! (Susan even had a pot of jambalaya fixed and warm on the stove when we arrived Friday... YUUMMMMM YUM!!!!!!)

On Saturday, Jason (Susan's oldest son) and his BEAUTIFUL wife Kristin came out and brought their ADORABLE baby girls - Kayla & Karli. They also brought Susan's other granddaughter, Grace. Now, after meeting Kristin I can tell you that she is just as lovely on the inside as she is the out. I've been SO EXCITED and was REALLY LOOKING forward to meeting her! (Those little dolls of theirs gave me ANOTHER SEVERE CASE OF BABY FEVER!) Jason got out and played with the boys, then volunteered to keep them on Sunday while we had another birthday celebration with Susan's girlfriends, sisters, niece and great nephew. (Jason was a BRAVE SOUL to keep Zach & Gabe... bless his heart! Our boys can be SUPER HYPER like their Mom)

Yes, I was so BLESSED to meet Cyndy, Sheila, and Pam at this dinner celebration. Then of course Kristin (Susan's daughter-in-law) and Susan's sisters Mary and Stephanie were there along with Jennifer (Stephanie's daughter) and her son Mason. And of course our buddy Jordan was there too. It was SO MUCH fun and such a BLESSING to get to know those who are closest to Susan's heart. SUSAN, when can we come back??? Seriously, Susan has been such a GLORIOUS BLESSING to us all. I'm SO THANKFUL that GOD ARRANGED for us to meet and allowed us to walk through each other's journey's TOGETHER. Jordan was one of Brent's BEST friends, and now the younger two have had the chance to know him and love him just as Brent did. DO WE SERVE A MIGHTY GOD, OR WHAT????


Okay... so after spending time with everyone, I've started looking for jobs for them all here in Mississippi so I can move them CLOSER!) There was a house on Susan's block that I kept telling her we would buy. There's just GOT to be a way to move "her part" of Louisania closer to "our part" of Mississippi.

Before this wonderful weekend was over, we also got to see my cousin's wife Carol and 3 of their 4 beautiful children. (Their babes have always been SO WELL BEHAVED, SO SMART, AND SO BEAUTIFUL!) It made me miss them more as well. Carol, I'm looking forward to seeing you guys when you come up to see your parents. We sure miss having them close by!! It was really neat to find out that they lived only about 10-15 miles from Susan. (We'd never been to either place) It really is a small world, huh?

SOOO... that should about catch us up. I DO HOPE to do a better job of updating. If my minor health issues will STAY NORMAL I should HOPEFULLY be able to go back to maintaining our normal hectic way of life. We DO APPRECIATE your visits and PRAYERS!!!!!

Until next time....
We love you,
Tonya - for Link, Zach & Gabe... always LOVING, REMEMBERING, AND MISSING Brent

Sunday, January 20, 2008 7:58 PM CST

Hello Friends...

How've ya been?? GREAT, I HOPE! (And pray!!!) Things here are.... uummmm.... well, "great," all things considered. Zach is doing TREMENDOUSLY better! He'd already stopped running by the end of the day that he got the Penicillin shot. Of course the doctor put him on a different antibiotic that he'll finish up in the next day or so. Now, we'll wait. If he REALLY stays CLEAR this time we'll KNOW we've beat it. If not, he should show signs of strep again by the end of the week or the beginning of the next... then we'll probably schedule to have his tonsils removed. I realize these aren't "big" issues but we're praying for guidance just the same. (In my personal opinion it's better to get the tonsils removed than to keep him on antibiotics... THAT in itself can lead to all kinds of problems)

OH... and THANKS SO MUCH to all of you for offering your support in sharing stories of strep episodes within your own families!! It's really nice to know it's a somewhat common thing.


As for the rest of us... well, we're healthy. We're trying to pursue GOD'S will for our lives and are always looking for a way to share how GOOD HE'S been to us. I've had an opportunity to share JESUS with a new friend recently... I really want to pour HIS LOVE into her, and at the same time I don't want her to feel like I'm pushing anything on her. (Resulting in her rejecting HIM) She's hurting and needs HIM... so I'll pray and ask GOD'S guidance as to how to show her how REAL HE IS.

Link is still working. Nothing is ever really the same after losing a child - and yet KNOWING we'll see Brent again gives us strength to "move on." (Not saying 'getting over him' .... just making our best attempt to give the boys a good life and allowing "the JOY of the LORD" to be our STRENGTH) I'm really proud of the man Link has become... he's such a good daddy and is so attentive to the boys. The world makes money seem so attractive - and it's tempting to get caught up in making more and more money. That in turn can lead to forgetting the little treasures that GOD has entrusted us with. (I'm not saying anything about "making a living" or wanting nice things for ourselves... I'm talking about being so CONSUMED with money that we let family slip through the cracks. The Bible tells us that where our treasures are, THERE our hearts will be also. Didn't mean to sound "preachy," just sharing another lesson we've learned.

(I know I don't talk a lot about Link on here... he's a pretty private guy and I just don't know how much he'd want me sharing. Please KNOW that he DEEPLY APPRECIATES your love and support -as do I - and has enjoyed reading the guestbook)

Now, to tell share a "funny" with you. I decided to go for a walk late this afternoon to burn off my lunch. (ha!!) It was a balmy 32 out so I had lots of layers of clothing, a jacket, hat, and gloves. When I returned home Link asked if I got cold (great sense of humor that man has - HA!!!!) When I tried to answer it felt as though my lips were frozen solid... I could hardly talk. (It was his dream come true!!) Hehe... Don't worry... it didn't take long and I was all thawed out again. (His celebration was short lived)

Well, all kidding aside... it's been a nice week. Oh... I'm forgetting to tell you something. We took the boys to a Motocross event last night. It was REALLY NEAT, but I'm thinking it was a BIG MISTAKE! Zach came home asking if he could compete in the 4-wheeler races next year. (OH MY!!) We're thinking that'll be a definite no-no! Our nerves are just a little TOO shot for that! (I'm having to be careful not to treat them like babies because NOW I'm scared of EVERYTHING!) Seriously though, the kids were all AMAZED and quite "star struck" with the riders. (I told them we knew one of the young ladies that competed... they were pretty AMUSED with that!)

Now... I guess I've finally talked myself out. (Well, not really but I need to go get the boys ready to start thinking about bed - sometimes it takes a WHILE you know)

Thanks SO MUCH for checking in and for always being so faithful to keep watch over us. It's always such a blessing to know we're surrounded by so many caring people. Please know we're here for you too if you need us!

We love you,
Tonya

WHOOPS!! I'm forgetting something else that I read and wanted to share with you. After reading so much on fighting cancer (and opinions as to what causes cancer, I've become quite paranoid when it comes to giving the boys unnecessary medicine. I remember reading a long time ago that cold medicine DOES NOT SHORTEN OR CURE A COLD, IT ONLY TREATS THE SYMPTOMS. So... unless the boys are to the point of being miserable I don't give "cold medicine." We do up the amounts of vitamin c (proven to shorten colds) and won't hesitate to give a fever reducer if the fever spikes above 101. (That's another story - I was told by a pediatrician once that fever fights infection and that it's best to let them run it as long as it's staying "low grade." With all of that said, someone emailed me this article last week and I thought I'd share it with you since I know that many of you have small children (and/or grands).


FDA: cold medicines too risky for tots
Lauran Neergaard- AP Medical Writer
OneNewsNow.com
January 17, 2008


WASHINGTON- Parents may be left with only love and lots of liquid to give their sniffling babies and toddlers now that the government is declaring over-the-counter cough and cold medicines too risky for tots.

The Food and Drug Administration was issuing that warning Thursday to parents of children under 2.
It's a move expected for months: Drug companies last October quit selling dozens of versions of nonprescription cold remedies targeted specifically to babies and toddlers. That month, the FDA's scientific advisers also voted that the drugs don't work in small children and shouldn't be used in preschoolers, either- anyone under age 6.

The FDA still hasn't decided if OTC decongestants, antihistamines and cough suppressants are appropriate for older children, officials told The Associated Press. Expect a decision on that by spring, the deadline necessary to notify manufacturers before they begin production for next fall's cold season.

For now, FDA's first official ruling focuses on youngsters under 2, warning that "serious and potentially life-threatening side effects can occur."

FDA is worried that parents haven't gotten that message despite all the publicity last fall. They may still have infant-targeted drugs at home, or they may buy drugs meant for older children to give to tots instead, said Dr. Charles Ganley, FDA's nonprescription drugs chief.

"We still have a concern," Ganley said. "It falls out of people's consciousness. We're still in the middle of cold season right now."

Ganley was particularly struck by recent surveys that suggest many parents don't believe OTC remedies could pose a problem, especially if they've given them to an older child without harm.

Thursday's move is a good first step, said Dr. Joshua Sharfstein, Baltimore's health commissioner. He petitioned the FDA last year to end use of nonprescription cold remedies by children under 6, a move backed by the American Academy of Pediatrics.

The reason: There's no evidence that these oral drugs actually ease cold symptoms in children so young- some studies suggest they do no good at all. And while serious side effects are fairly rare, they do occur. Indeed, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention last year reported that more than 1,500 babies and toddlers wound up in emergency rooms over a two-year period because of the drugs.

"It's one thing if you're curing cancer, but we're talking about a self-limiting illness," said Sharfstein. "If there's really no evidence of benefit, you don't want to risk the rare problem. Then you're left with tragedy that you can't justify."

Specialists are back to recommending old-fashioned steps, such as plenty of fluids and rest, saline drops to loosen stuffy noses, and humidifiers while sleeping.

Why is this an issue now? Child versions of cold remedies came on the market decades ago, when scientists thought that what worked in adults would automatically work in children. Scientists today know that is not always the case.

In fact, FDA never formally allowed infant-targeted cold remedies in the first place; Ganley said they evolved through a legal loophole.

But the FDA is investigating an even bigger question: Are OTC cold remedies safe and effective for children under 12? The agency's advisers last fall called for no use just by the under-6 crowd, but did recommend more research to determine the medicines' effects in children overall.

The drug industry says these medicines are used 3.8 billion times a year in treating children's cough and cold symptoms and are safe for those over 2.

Health groups acknowledge that while low doses of cold medicine don't usually endanger an individual child, the bigger risk is unintentional overdose. For example, the same ingredients are in multiple products, so using more than one for different symptoms can quickly add up. Also, children's medicines are supposed to be measured with the dropper or measuring cap that comes with each product, not an inaccurate kitchen teaspoon.

An internal FDA working group has a February deadline to recommend to agency leaders any action for 2- to 11-year-olds, Ganley said. The goal is a spring announcement.

Meanwhile, the FDA's advice for children over 2:

-If you try these drugs, carefully follow label directions.

-Avoid giving a child more than one product. If you do, make sure they don't contain some of the same or similar ingredients.

-Understand that these drugs only treat symptoms. Colds are viruses, and the drugs will not make them go away any faster.


Disclaimer:

Opinions offered are that of a well-meaning parent. They are not intended to diagnose, or replace medical treatment. If you or anyone close to you needs medical attention, it is strongly recommended that you contact a medical provider immediately.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008 7:56 PM CST

Just checking back to say that Zach DOES have strep for the 3rd time in under a month! (Okay, so I'm not POSITIVE on the timeline, but I KNOW the first case was just before Christmas and this is the third time!

SOOOOO... the doctor said if he keeps having repeat infections we'll need to take his tonsils out. (When thinking that the only other option is keeping him on antibiotic all winter long that decision is a NO-BRAINER!)

Undoubtedly the tonsils are a good place for nasty things such as strep to "hide out" and attack over and over again. HOPEFULLY, we'll not have to worry about this! AMEN??

Alrighty, my friends, after sleeping with a sick child last night I'm EXHAUSTED! I think it's time to start rushing everyone to bed! I'll try to check in again soon to let you know how we're all doing.

THANKS SO MUCH for checking in!!!!!
We love you,
Tonya







Monday, January 14, 2008 8:36 PM CST

Hello Friends...

I'm checking in again quickly to wish a belated "Happy Birthday" to my friend Mrs. Dora, Mylissa Horrocks, and my Mom! (My Mom's was yesterday) I really meant to come and update before now so that these online birthday wishes wouldn't be late... but then again... I'm ALWAYS late.

As for a quick update on the fam... we'll be taking Zach to the doctor AGAIN tomorrow! YES, we finished ALL of the antibiotic, changed the toothbrushes EVERY OTHER DAY and even made frequent bedding changes. (THANKS SO MUCH to those of you who suggested those things) I'm afraid he's got strep AGAIN! I suppose after having him tested we'll immediately load up the dog and have her tested as well. (That was another recommendation) I was tested back when the boys were, so Link and our pooch Reece are the only two left to check. For those of you who may not know (I was among you) other people in our homes - even our PETS - may be "carriers" and not even know it. (CREEPY HUH??) I'm not thinking cancer this time... but I'm getting awfully nervous that our little man can't seem to fight this stuff off. (If he's positive tomorrow this will be his 3rd case since the middle of December!)

Now the rest of us are doing well. (Mean as ever!) If we can only get Zach well and KEEP HIM THERE!

Okay, I'm not going to keep you. I've got lots to do before bedtime and then get the boys up and back off to the doctor we go. I promise to check in AS SOON as possible to let you know the doctor's opinion as to why the strep keeps coming back.

THANKS SO MUCH for checking in and for your prayers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We love you,
Tonya

Thursday, January 10, 2008 9:13 AM CST

Hello Friends...

I thought I'd stop in and share a little "funny" with you. We went to visit my Mam-Maw yesterday afternoon and she TOTALLY ragged on me about my hair. (Remember, She's 100 - I thought it was HILARIOUS!) She said, "Hun, what happened to your HAIR?" (I giggled.. then replied) I didn't do anything, Maw! I went to sleep with it wet and this is what it looked like when I woke up. She seemed to ponder a few minutes then quickly pointed out that Zach could brush it for me! HA!!!!!!!!!!! (I normally straighten it out, but when I woke up there were some very curly "waves" in it. I thought it was "funky" and decided to try something different.. I guess as far as my Grammy is concerned it's a "no go." She's just TOO CUTE!

The boys are keeping us busy. I forgot to share a "funny" with you on Gabe from the other day. He got up and left the schoolroom. I said, "Gabe, GET BACK IN HERE!" He walked back in the room and said, "Mom, I'm NOT FEELING IT today. (I had to hold a straight face while reminding HIM that it didn't matter WHAT he felt... he was GOING to HAVE SCHOOL!

As for Zach... we'll he's not as much the clown as Brent was, and Gabe is.... but there's MISCHIEF BURSTING from every cell! (I'm SURE you can see it in his photos above) The boys have both been GREAT! They've been very supportive and speak so freely about Brent. (I LOVE IT!) We've been just AMAZED at how GOD has protected their little hearts. I don't know why... HE DOES promise in HIS WORD that HE will NEVER LEAVE US OR FORSAKE US! (I think sometimes we tend to THINK too much!) Amen???

Well, I don't have a whole lot of time to keep rambling. (Bet you guys are thankful... eh?? HA!!) I actually started this update last night but didn't get it finished. I ended up having to go back and change a couple of things because of it. (I HAD said, "We went to see Mam-Maw this afternoon but since it didn't get posted till today I had to change it to "yesterday afternoon." ANYWAY.... The boys were working on a part of their lesson that could do without my instruction so I came to finish and post this update. THANKS SO MUCH for checking in and for praying for our family!

WE LOVE YOU...
Tonya

PS.. Please continue to pray for Madelyn Beamon, her family, and those who are so close to them. I CANNOT imagine a harder time in anyone's life than losing their child. (That's THE ABSOLUTE HARDEST thing we've ever faced) It just doesn't "seem right" that our children should pass before we do. We understand that GOD'S way is BEST... so we accept the loss - and we CLING to HIM as HE carries us.

Monday, January 7, 2008 8:45 PM CST

(I came back earlier today with test results... if you've not seen them already you might want to scroll down until you see the time stamp from this afternoon before reading this update... this update is just a bunch of babbling... HA!)


SO.. I mentioned earlier that I would come back soon to update on things other than medical issues. Well, before I get started I wanted to say that after updating today on our good news, then reading the guestbook... I must admit that I got a little "giggle" out of our friend Randy's post! (She asked, "Now WHAT will we worry about next?") Randy is a sister after my own heart!!! Hehehe... This is ONE lady that I'm PRAYING I get to meet soon! She's been such a source of encouragement AND laughter! (She's a hoot I'm here to tell you!)

Okay, so I told you I'd fill you in on our holidays. (Isn't it funny how "holiday" has become a 'bad word?') Well, not really... but some companies are so afraid of offending people by not using the word "Christmas" that they substitute the term "holiday." Which by the way GREATLY OFFENDS ME! But that's another subject... Anyway.. with all the ruckus around the term holiday I almost feel funny using it myself. (Chasing rabbits.. I KNOW! For those of you who haven't heard the phrase "chasing rabbits" - it's hillbilly slang for talking about everything except what I'm supposed to be talking about. SOOO... back to the "holidays"... uuummm... I mean, Christmas & New Year stories.

So... with Christmas there's not much to tell. With this being our first year without Brent we really weren't in the mood to do much of anything. (Anything extra fun by way of celebrating, I mean) We DID try to make it extra special for the boys. They got lots of STUFF, but the neatest (in my opinion) was a telescope. It's a pretty nice one, but at only a hundred dollars you can't expect much. The moon looks AMAZING! Okay.. chasing rabbits again... but I've GOT to share this with you. I know that I mentioned here a while back that I was going to start "blogging." Well, I did (somewhat) and the most recent update was on some stuff I got from AOL about this fantastic world we live in! (There are pictures that will take your breath away!) If you want to see them you can visit my blog at nason5.blogspot.com

I MAY jump in on the topic this month, "Relationships: Preparing Girls For Marriage" even though I do NOT have daughters. I've learned A LOT about marriage and desire to be a "Titus 2" woman. (I want to be obedient to the WORD and take my younger sisters and train them how to love their husbands as the Bible commands. (NOT some liberal view)


3Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. 4Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.


Okay... back from another "rabbit trail" (I went around the world with that to tell you that if you visit me at my blog you may have to scroll down just a bit- that is IF I decided to join the topic of preparing girls for marriage. My friend Susan posted on this subject. If you've got a minute you should REALLY go and read it. Her address is susan2956.blogspot.com WOW!!! She's been a spiritual GIANT in my life!)

SOOOOO .... I was telling you that the boys got a telescope and that's when my train of thought took another track. LOL!!

Christmas was "nice." We missed Brent terribly, but managed to have an enjoyable day. We opened gifts with the boys Christmas morning, had lunch (and exchanged gifts with Link's family for dinner) and at supper we met at my sisters for my family's Christmas. This was probably the MOST dreaded of all holidays this year because it's the one time of year that we COMPLETELY STOP EVERYTHING and come together as family. However, as we focused on the TRUE MEANING of Christmas we found all the more reason to be THANKFUL.

I'd been doing some research on how JESUS fulfilled the prophecies from the Old Testament. I'd like to share something I found online... This is only a portion of it. If you've got time and would like you can read more by clicking HERE



Prophesies Regarding the Messiah
Genesis 3:15 represents the first of many Messianic prophecies in the Old Testament. Its New Testament fulfillment is recorded in Galatians 4:4 and other references. As the Old Testament unfolds we learn more and more about the coming Messiah through further (progressive) revelation. For instance, we learn in Genesis 22:18 that the Messiah would be of the seed of Abraham. In Genesis 35:10-12 and Numbers 24:17 we learn that He will be of the seed of Jacob. In Genesis 49:10 we learn that He will be of the tribe of Judah. In II Samuel 7:12-16 and Jeremiah 23:5 we learn that He will be from the house of David. In Micah 5:2 we learn that He will be born in Bethlehem. In Isaiah 7:14 we learn that He will be born of a virgin, and that He will, in fact, be God incarnate (also see Psalm 2:7 and Isaiah 9:6). In Daniel's incredible prophecy of the 70 weeks (Daniel 9:24-27) we learn the exact time of His coming. [8] Each of these Messianic prophesies as well as several others [9] were literally fulfilled in the person of Jesus Christ. The odds of this happening by random chance are inconceivably small. One scholar (Peter Stoner in his book Science Speaks) has chosen only eight of these Messianic prophesies (see below) and has calculated that the odds of one man fulfilling all eight of these prophesies is 1 in 10^17: [10]

1. Born at Bethlehem (Micah 5:2)
2. Preceded by a messenger (Isaiah 40:3)
3. Entered Jerusalem on a donkey (Zechariah 9:9)
4. Betrayed by a friend (Psalm 41:9)
5. Sold for 30 pieces of silver (Zech. 11:12)
6. The silver subsequently thrown in God's house and used to buy the potter's field (Zech. 11:13)
7. He was silent before his accusers (Isaiah 53:7)
8. His hands and feet were pierced (Psalm 22:16)

Stoner illustrates this number by imagining that one took 10^17 silver dollars and placed them on the state of Texas. They would cover the entire state two feet deep. If we were then to mark one of the silver dollars, blindfold a man, and have him travel as far as he wishes to pick one silver dollar, the odds of the man picking the marked dollar would be the same as the odds of all eight of these prophesies coming true in any one man. Therefore, we can say with confidence that Jesus Christ was truly the promised Messiah first prophesied of in Genesis 3:15!

Stoner later considers 48 Messianic prophesies and concludes that the odds of them all being fulfilled in any one man is one in 10^157. This number is inconceivably larger than 10^17 and attempts to picture it (as Stoner does) simply boggle the mind. A number of this magnitude cannot be properly pictured by our finite minds, and no one should dare say that all 48 of these Messianic prophesies were fulfilled by chance! However, these 48 prophesies by no means represent all the Messianic prophesies fulfilled in Christ. There are actually over 90 Old Testament prophesies quoted by New Testament writers in a Messianic sense [11] as well as over 300 Old Testament references to the Messiah that were fulfilled in Jesus Christ of Nazareth. [12]

In this regard, it is significant to remember that the historic date for the completion of the Old Testament is around 450 B.C. Lest one should argue against this date and claim that each of these prophesies was written after the fact, we must remember that the Dead Sea Scrolls (dating from before the time of Christ - approximately 100 B.C.) contain fragments from nearly every Old Testament book. Furthermore, the Septuagint, the Greek translation of the Hebrew Scriptures, was completed around 250 B.C., proving that the Hebrew Old Testament was complete well before the time of Christ.

Conclusion: From this evidence, we must conclude that Jesus Christ must have been the promised Messiah of the Old Testament. As such, He is unique in all of history, because no other religious leader (including Mohammed, Buddha, Confucius, etc.) in the history of the world has had specific prophesies fulfilled by his coming. Furthermore, we must conclude that the phenomenon of fulfilled prophecy (which is unique to the Bible) is yet another of the external tests that confirm the reliability of the Bible and of the Christian faith.


I always love talking about our LORD, and am always PRAYING that GOD will use us, our journey, our lives.. to lead others to HIM. We want so much for our family and friends to KNOW our JESUS and find the JOY & PEACE HE alone can bring! If we have anyone with us that doesn't KNOW JESUS as their LORD & SAVIOR I'd like to invite you to write me. Some Christians today will add stipulations to salvation. GOD'S WORD says that if ANYONE believes in his heart and confesses with his mouth he WILL BE SAVED.



Romans 10:8-10 (New Living Translation)

8 In fact, it says,

“The message is very close at hand;
it is on your lips and in your heart.”

And that message is the very message about faith that we preach: 9 If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved.



It's that simple! However, if you do have questions or just want to talk I want you to know I'm here for you!

As for "New Year's Eve" we met with our church family to eat, fellowship, and watch a movie. (Remember, we're doing homechurch, so it's only a group of about 30 people) It was a lot of fun, yet still we were TERRIBLY aware that Jan. 2 was QUICKLY approaching us and Brent was "a constant" on our minds. Again, we got through it with JOY in the midst of our pain... by the grace of GOD.

We started back to school today. (Ick ... hehe) I really can't complain now can I??? We got some AMAZING NEWS with the good test results and have been in a state of PRAISE since!

HHMMM.... I KNOW there was so much more to tell you. I'm starting to wind down for the day and it's getting harder by the moment to think. (HA!!) I guess that means it's a great time to go huh??

THANKS AGAIN for checking in and for the many, MANY prayers you've lifted for our family. I wish we could give you a great big (((HUG)))

We love you!
Tonya






Monday, January 7, 2008 3:32 PM CST
Hello Friends...

I came to share PRAISES with you...

The test results are in.....

BOTH BOYS are "normal" on ALL TESTS!!!! Okay, So I admit that I FORGOT to ask why Zach's LDH was up to begin with. I'm assuming it was the strep that set it off. (His LDH Wednesday of last week was 226) The NORMAL range is 100-250. I think once I heard the nurse say "All tests were good" my mind went to BUTTER! I know how bad I am about remembering to ask important medical questions so I'd made a list of things to ask. THEN, I LOST my list! (Still haven't found it) I kept thinking... "Don't forget to ask what you need to ask." NONETHELESS, ANY good news is GOOD NEWS and we're PRAISING GOD for the results we got today!!!!!

THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH for praying and for keeping watch over us once again. I'll come back soon (the next day or two) to fill you in on our holidays. (Christmas & New Year)

We love You,
Tonya

Saturday, January 5, 2008 9:25 AM CST

Hello again..
Sorry I didn't update yesterday... I spent the day with my Mom and boys in town. (TRYING to buy new pants to fit the little rascals - they're GROWING like crazy!!) Needless to say we DID NOT hear from ANY of the tests yet. I finally decided to call and see if anything was in (around 3 pm) but quickly realized that the doctor's office closes at NOON on Friday! Honestly, I can't say I was too disappointed. We're a little nervous about the tests and would really like to get ALL the info at once. I think since we're not sure WHY the LDH was elevated to begin with (and wondering if the FIRST round of strep had anything to do with it) Link & I weren't so sure we'd "bank on" this LDH. HOWEVER, if there happens to BE anything wrong... then the urine test should confirm it. That's why we're thinking it's probably best to get it all at once than to hear that the LDH MIGHT be even more elevated, then wonder if it's due to the SECOND round of strep - or something worse. It'll be GREAT to get ALL NORMAL RESULTS at ONCE... AMEN???? Anyway.. I just wanted You guys to know that we're still waiting. (Is it just me? Or am I ALWAYS FULL of useless information???? HA!!)

OH... I DO have a PRAISE to share with you! I found my phone!! WOOHOO!! Yep, it was RIGHT where I dropped it. (The problem was that I didn't KNOW WHERE I dropped it.. HEHE) I'm still lacking the phone numbers that were stored in my old phone though... the one that Gabe lost a few months back. (I had LOTS of St. Jude families in there.. some nurses too) :-(

Speaking of... I just wanted to let any and ALL of our health care providers from St. Jude & Vermont (and anywhere in between) know that we LOVE & MISS YOU ALL!!!!!!! There's not a day that passes that I don't think of you. You were ALL such a TREMENDOUS part of Brent's life. He LOVED you all so much!!! Not to mention how you went out of your way to make him happy... NO WONDER he was SO CRAZY about you!!! Please know that even though you have to go through losing the precious children that you tend to - even THEN you're making a difference! Don't EVER feel like you're not!

Okay... I'll check back Monday if not before. THANKS SOOOOOO MUCH for praying!

We love you!!!
Tonya

PS.. Please continue to pray for Madelyn Beamon's family. ESPECIALLY her Mom. (Brandi) Maddie is going through a "spell" where she's chosing Dad over Mom. I know all kids do random things like this.. but knowing that time is so limited and PRECIOUS with the Beamons - it's just breaking Brandi's heart in two.






Thursday, January 3, 2008 6:16 PM CST

Hello Friends...
I wanted to check back in to let you know that we've not heard anything on any of the tests from yesterday. (They're checking the LDH and a liver panel on Zach and are doing the VMA, AND HVA tests on BOTH both boys) For anyone who's not been with us in a while... the urine tests are per MY request. The repeat LDH and liver panel are from an elevated test that was taken about 3 weeks ago. (More info in updates below)

As for strep... Zach's feeling MUCH better today! He's been fighting with Gabe off and on all day so that's a VERY GOOD sign that the medicine is going to work on that icky strep!

THANKS SO MUCH for praying! If I find out anything tomorrow on ANY of the tests I'll update IMMEDIATELY! (Assuming that I'm at home or near a computer when I hear from them.. otherwise it'll be ASAP!) :-)

I hope you're all enjoying your "New Year!"
Love,
Tonya





Wednesday, January 2, 2008 10:48 PM CST

Hello Friends...

I came to tell you about the doctor visit, but first I want to say "THANK YOU" for the encouraging words in the guestbook, emails, and text messages. We can't find words to express our love and thankful hearts for you. Today went really well. At first I thought the medical distractions with the younger boys (Zach especially) was a bad thing. Now, well, I think it was allowed by GOD (I didn't say "sent" by GOD.. just "allowed"). We absolutely MISSED our sweet little man today... but as one of our beloved "St. Jude Mama's" put it.... "They're gone EVERY day!" We MISS them TERRIBLY - EVERY DAY! I think the holidays and "anniversaries" might make things a little harder - but that's because they make us think more about it. I once heard Jacob Duckworth's mom (Heather) say that having joy after losing a child is a CHOICE. I TOTALLY agree with her! We DIDN'T choose the life we live, or to lose our children... but that is the road that GOD set before us. HE provided us with the HOLY SPIRIT through JESUS and with HIM we can say that we are at peace with GOD and have JOY in our hearts even when they're breaking in two.


Nehemiah 8:10
Nehemiah said, "Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is sacred to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength."


WHOA!! Now how's THAT for "a word from the LORD?"

Okay... so I promised test results from today. Well, the blood panel was taken for Zach and we MIGHT hear from it tomorrow. (That would be the LDH part... I'm not sure if the liver panel will come in that early or not. The nurse didn't know that either) I'm honestly not expecting to hear ANYTHING from them at all until EVERYTHING is in. Now as for Zach... he tested POSITIVE for STREP... AGAIN! Bless his sweet little heart! I know he's so sick of being sick. (Pardon the pun... hehe)

I PROMISE I'll update with ANY results AS SOON as possible. THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH for praying for us and for remembering Brent with us on this day. As much as we hurt in his absence. Our hearts OVERFLOW with LOVE and SWEET MEMORIES of him. (Funny ones too! He sure was a character... that little sweetheart NEVER missed a chance to make us laugh, or to give me a hard time) I KNOW that if our "character" is ANYTHING in HEAVEN as it is on earth he will have asked a KAGILLION questions by now. I'm sure he's listened eagerly at the stories from the Bible. Like I said... I really have no clue how things work "up there." I do KNOW that Paul says, "to be absent from the body is to be present with Christ." Okay.. let me just share that too... ;-)



2 Corinthians 5
New Bodies

1 For we know that when this earthly tent we live in is taken down (that is, when we die and leave this earthly body), we will have a house in heaven, an eternal body made for us by God Himself and not by human hands. 2 We grow weary in our present bodies, and we long to put on our heavenly bodies like new clothing. 3 For we will put on heavenly bodies; we will not be spirits without bodies. 4 While we live in these earthly bodies, we groan and sigh, but it’s not that we want to die and get rid of these bodies that clothe us. Rather, we want to put on our new bodies so that these dying bodies will be swallowed up by life. 5 God Himself has prepared us for this, and as a guarantee He has given us his Holy Spirit.
6 So we are always confident, even though we know that as long as we live in these bodies we are not at home with the Lord. 7 For we live by believing and not by seeing. 8 Yes, we are fully confident, and we would rather be away from these earthly bodies, for then we will be at home with the Lord. 9 So whether we are here in this body or away from this body, our goal is to please Him. 10 For we must all stand before Christ to be judged. We will each receive whatever we deserve for the good or evil we have done in this earthly body.

We Are God’s Ambassadors
11 Because we understand our fearful responsibility to the Lord, we work hard to persuade others. God knows we are sincere, and I hope you know this, too. 12 Are we commending ourselves to you again? No, we are giving you a reason to be proud of us, so you can answer those who brag about having a spectacular ministry rather than having a sincere heart. 13 If it seems we are crazy, it is to bring glory to God. And if we are in our right minds, it is for your benefit. 14 Either way, Christ’s love controls us. Since we believe that Christ died for all, we also believe that we have all died to our old life. 15 He died for everyone so that those who receive His new life will no longer live for themselves. Instead, they will live for Christ, Who died and was raised for them.
16 So we have stopped evaluating others from a human point of view. At one time we thought of Christ merely from a human point of view. How differently we know Him now! 17 This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!

18 And all of this is a gift from God, who brought us back to Himself through Christ. And God has given us this task of reconciling people to Him. 19 For God was in Christ, reconciling the world to Himself, no longer counting people’s sins against them. And he gave us this wonderful message of reconciliation. 20 So we are Christ’s ambassadors; God is making his appeal through us. We speak for Christ when we plead, “Come back to God!” 21 For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Christ.



Isn't GOD'S WORD AMAZING?? We can TOTALLY SEE how Brent LITERALLY LONGED for his new body! After witnessing what we did in his "conversations with GOD" we KNOW that Brent got a glimpse of what was to come. God HIMSELF prepared him to go HOME! (2 Corinthians 5:5) There is NOT A DOUBT in my mind that GOD allowed us to see Brent's JOY & EXCITEMENT about HEAVEN and his LORD so that we would be at peace with his passing. What Brent has now is what we all LONG for! When we weep... we are weeping for ourselves.. for the broken-heartedness of the child we lost. Brent has fulfilled his life's purpose. Now the aftereffect will continue as we share his story and BLESSED ASSURANCE of a HEAVENLY REUNION! WHEW!! I get SO EXCITED thinking about holding my baby again and the PROMISES in GOD'S WORD!

Okay.. so obviously this wasn't going to be a "short update" either. (I just don't think I have "short ones" in me... do YOU?) I guess I just wanted you all to know that we're doing "well" all things considered. It's NOT by our STRENGTH... but by the COMFORT provided by the HOLY SPIRIT. (Please don't let me EVER lead anyone to believe that we think ANYTHING good comes from us... I'll be the FIRST to admit that EVERY GOOD GIFT comes from GOD.)

THANK YOU SOOOOOO MUCH for keeping us covered in prayer as we've faced the holidays and today, the one year mark of Brent going to his HEAVENLY HOME. (Wow... I just looked at the clock.. it was 10:28.. Brent's birthdate, how neat!) God has used your prayers in MIGHTY ways! Thank you, THANK YOU!!

We love you all,
Tonya



Woe Is Me!
1/2/2008

So I said. "Woe is me, for I am undone!
Because I am a man of unclean lips,
And I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips;
For my eyes have seen the King,
The Lord of hosts."
ISAIAH 6:5


"An exalted view of God brings a clear view of sin and a realistic view of self. A diminished view of God brings a reduced concern for sin and an inflated view of self. Isaiah may have been satisfied with his personal holiness until he saw the Lord in His unspeakable glory. Isaiah's encounter with holy God made him immediately and keenly aware of his own unholiness and the sinfulness of those around him. It is impossible to worship God and remain unchanged. The best indication that we have truly worshiped is a changed heart.

Have we so conformed ourselves to a sinful world that we are satisfied with unholy living? Have we sunk so far below God's standard that when someone does live as God intended, we consider that person ""superspiritual""? If we only compare our personal holiness to those around us, we may be deceived into believing that we are living a consecrated life. Yet when we encounter holy God, our only response can be ""Woe is me!""

You will not see those around you trusting Jesus until they recognize a clear difference between you and the rest of the world. God wants to sanctify you as He is holy. When God deals with you, there will be a radical degree of purity about your life that is absolutely different than what the world can produce. The world, including those closest to you, will be convinced you serve a holy God by your consecrated life."

Devotion taken from namb.net





Tuesday, January 1, 2008 10:40 PM CST

Hello Friends...

I hate to check in with another "short and to the point" update, but that's all I've got time to do tonight. Tomorrow marks the date of Brent's "going HOME!" For Brent it was one year of FREEDOM, JOY, LOVE & PEACE BEYOND ANYTHING that we can imagine. I say "one year"... it'll be one year in time as we know it. As I've relived Brent's final days over and over again in my head the past 3 months I must admit that I'm OVERJOYED that he's not hurting or sick. That he's not having to watch blood counts and be worried that he might "get stuck" when there was fever involved. At the same time... we're missing him LIKE CRAZY!! I miss his smile, his soft hair, his beautiful brown eyes. I miss the hugs and kisses and the way he teased me ALL THE TIME. We just MISS EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM! Yet again... we have the assurance that we WILL see him again one day. (YES, we PRAISE GOD OVER AND OVER again for the AWESOME work that JESUS did on the cross!) HE IS OUR STRENGTH and our JOY! "The JOY of the LORD is my strength!" (Quoting scripture.. just not exactly sure from WHERE in the Bible... he he)

The next thing I wanted to mention was the testing we're doing on the boys tomorrow. For anyone who's not been with us for the past couple of weeks - Zach's LDH was 379 (the "norm" is 100-250) They called and asked that we bring him back in to repeat the labs and to also do a liver panel. I figured since we would already be doing those tests again we should go ahead and do a repeat the urine tests as well... RIGHT? So, I wanted to ask you to pray for NORMAL results on ALL tests! GOD has kept us calm (except for the few times I've gone back and tried to carry this burden alone). Isn't it wonderful that HE'S ALWAYS THERE to HOLD US UP?? THANK YOU, LORD!

HOWEVER, there is ALWAYS SOMETHING out there tempting me to worry. Zach's strep throat in the middle of December is what brought on the testing to begin with. Since then... we've been back ONCE already for a repeat strep test because his throat began to hurt again. (That one was NEGATIVE) Well, just as we approach the last (and hardest) of all the "firsts" of this year, Zach gets sick AGAIN! Last night he started complaining with sore throat - and tonight has started with fever. (His throat looks TERRIBLE!) Now I'm wondering WHY he's staying so sick. WHY WAS his LDH up? You know.. I could worry myself silly asking all of the "what ifs." It's time for me to turn it over to GOD (AGAIN) and TRY to NOT "pick it up" again. O;-)

There is so much to tell you about our holidays, but I've already kept you way longer than I'd planned. (Aren't you glad this was a "short" update?? Hehehe) I'll check back in AS SOON as we hear from these tests. (I imagine since I'm such "the problem parent" for our doctors they'll probably save all the results for ONE phone call so they only have to deal with me ONCE! HA!!!!) SOOOO... until the next time please remember to pray for our little ones. We'll pray for PERFECT test results. I'd also like to thank you for your prayers. You've always been such a source of encouragement and you cannot imagine how GOD has used you to help us get through the HARDEST AND MOST PAINFUL time in our lives. We are TRULY BLESSED to have you with us!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!
We LOVE YOU,
Tonya

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