Thursday, December 2, 2004 7:16 PM CST

Hi! I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving! I had a wonderful Thanksgiving and have so much to be thankful for. One thing I am so thankful for is all of you. It brings tears to my eyes when I think about how much love, support and prayers I have received from all of you. I am truly blessed to have all of you in my life - thank you so much.

On the health front, I decided to stop taking my Thalidomide. The numbness in my feet has gotten much worse and now my hands are becoming increasingly numb. So it's time to stop. Other than the numbness, I have been feeling very good. I am still struggling with muscle cramping. During my last Dr. appointment (before Thanksgiving), I had them check my blood counts to see if things were out of whack, thinking maybe that had something to do with my muscle cramping. My counts were all good so that is good. I guess it will just take more time to strengthen my muscles, which will hopefully cause the cramping to stop.

Lynnette and the kids are doing great. Mason and Morgan have had bouts with the flu bug. All the kids are very excited for Christmas.

I have a favor to ask all of you. Can you please pray for a friend of ours. He was diagnosed with colon cancer shortly after I was diagnosed. After several treatments, his cancer has now moved into his liver and his prognosis is not very good. His Dr. is going to try to remove the part of his liver that is cancerous. So can you please keep him in your prayers.

Thank you and God Bless!

Sunday, November 7, 2004 9:55 PM CST

Hi everyone! Sorry it has been so long since my last update. Things have been pretty busy lately. Matthew's football finally ended. His team took 3rd place. Morgan started her dance class and Mason is involved with Cub Scouts. I can't believe Thanksgiving is almost here.

My overall health continues to be good. I have been battling a cold the past 2 weeks. It still seems to take a little longer to get over coughs, colds, etc.. I had my first round of baby shots and go back in for round 2 in a couple of weeks. I know how babies feel now after getting their shots. My butt was very sore after having 3 shots.
The numbness in my feet is slowly getting progressively worse. I want to push it as far as I can before I have to stop taking the Thalidomide. I worry about what might happen when I stop taking it. I continue to be thankful for each and every day I have to spend with my family and friends.

Thank you for your continued thoughts and prayers.

Monday, October 4, 2004 9:58 PM CDT

Hi everyone! What a fall it's been! Lynnette and I participated in the Light Up The Night Walk a week ago to help raise money for the National Leukemia, Lymphoma and Myeloma Society. We walked with Team Connor - Tammy & John Stokes and many other family and friends. We had a great turnout. Connor must have been smiling down at us seeing everyone there in his honor. Lynnette & I had a wonderful time. I posted a picture from the walk.

I have been running into a few bumps in the road due to the Thalidomide I have been taking. My numbness in my feet continues to worsen. I stopped taking the Thalidomide daily and have begun taking it every other day. The Thalidomide has also impacted my Thyroid gland, causing it to slow down. So I need to watch things more closely now. I want to stay on this as long as I can. Other than that, I continue to feel good. I am thankful for everyday!

Both Nancy S. and Jay J. are doing well in their battles with Cancer. Jay is recovering from his Stem Cell Transplant and Nancy is doing well as she continues with her radiation treatments. Please continue to keep both of them in your thoughts & prayers.

Thank you for your continued prayers and support!

Take Care!

Thursday, September 23, 2004 4:10 PM CDT

Hi! Thought I would give you a quick update. I continue to feel good. Energy level is good and the memory issue is getting better. So overall things are really good. I am enjoying my time with Lynnette and the kids. Although I would like to have gone on a few more camping trips this summer. I just celebrated by birthday on the 15th. Lynnette and I took the kids out to dinner that night. The kids got to pick the place. Lynnette and I had our own little dinner celebration Saturday night without the kids. Now that was relaxing!
This Saturday Lynnette and I are going to be walking in the Light the Night Walk event to benefit the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. We are walking with Team Connor. A team put together in memory of my Radiation Buddy Connor Stokes. It should be a great night. I know Connor will be smiling down at us.

I know I've said this before and I will continue to say it - thank you so much for your continued prayers, thoughts and support. It means a great deal to me.

Take Care and God Bless!

Friday, September 3, 2004 4:44 PM CDT

Hi everyone! Great news to report! My 1 year test results came back all clean. All my blood work is normal and my liver and kidney functions are all good. So it was a resounding 2 thumbs up! I am going to continue taking the Thalidomide for another year. My next appointment is in 6 months. Now I can give my back a little rest from all the biopsies. The Dr. gave me my immunization sheet that I need to follow over the next 6 months. So I will be making an appointment later this month to get my immunization shots!

I have been having so much fun this fall with the kids. Matthew is doing so well in football this year. He is playing running back for the first time year and he is a natural. He has already scored 2 touchdowns in 2 games and has come close a few other times. I am very proud of him. Mason and Morgan are busy with after school activities and playing with Mon & Dad. It has been great. I didn't realize how much of the kids activities that I missed last summer and fall until now. It's been great and I am so thankful that I have the energy to do all this.

Thank you again to all of you for your prayers and support. I couldn't have done this with out all you. It really means a great deal to me - thank you!!

I had an opportunity to see Jay Jager at the BMT clinic while I was having my biopsy. He is recovering well from his bone marrow transplant. Nancy Scislowski is also doing well in her ongoing battle with Breast Cancer. She has moved into her radiation phase and is doing well. Please continue to keep both of them in your thoughts and prayers!

Next week I will try posting a few new photos. Have a great and safe Labor Day weekend!

Take Care and God Bless!

Thursday, August 26, 2004 11:53 AM CDT

Hi everyone! Well I am 2 days out from my 1 year anniversary and I have to say that overall things are good. It's hard to believe that it has been a year already. I am so thankful for all the prayers and support that I have received throughout the year. I have also met some wonderful people through all of this. All of you have played such a key roll in getting me through all this. Thank you so much. I couldn't have done this without you and I mean that with all my heart! Thank you.

I go in for my 1 year tests tomorrow. I will get my results back on Sept. 2nd. I hate waiting that long but my transplant Dr. is very good and thus very busy.


I will touch base again next week after I get my test results.

Take care and God bless!

Monday, July 26, 2004 3:32 PM CDT

I'm sorry it has been 3 weeks since my last entry. It's a good thing in a way - no news is good news and so there is not much to report. However, I enjoy letting people know how I am doing. It also gives me a chance to thank everyone for their continued prayers and support.

I continue to feel good. However, I think I have been pushing myself too much because I have been feeling very tired and run-down lately. So I think I need to slow down a bit. I still continue to have problems with my memory, which is very frustrating. I am not sure if it still the effects of the chemo and radiation or if it's from the Thalidomide that I am taking. In any case it is very frustrating. The only other side effect that I am battling is the numbness in my feet and legs from the Thalidomide. It's more of a nuisance right now but I am concerned that it may get worse and I will have to get off Thalidomide. Last year at this time I was beginning my transplant process (workup week). It's hard to believe that it has been a year already.

I have three people that I want to mention. Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers. Jay Jager - has Multiple Myeloma and is getting ready for a transplant at the UofM the first week in August. He will be using his own stem cells for the transplant. Would you also keep Nancy Scislowski in your thoughts and prayers. Nancy is Connor Stokes Aunt - Connor is my Radiation Buddy who passed away this past February from cancer. I just recently found out that Nancy was diagnosed with breast cancer. She is undergoing chemo treatments and is going to beat her cancer. If you get a chance, please visit her site at www.caringbridge.org/il/nancyscislowski and see her beautiful family and let her know that you are praying for her! Kelly McMahon is a friend of ours and he was diagnoised with colon cancer shortly after I was diagnoised. Kelly's cancer has now moved to his liver and he is at a critical point in his treatment. He is weighing several options, including stopping the chemo all together and using alternative (non-chemo based) therapies. Please keep Jay, Nancy and Kelly in your thoughts and prayers.

Thank you so much for the continued prayers and support you have provided to me and my family. It means so much to us. One little personal note - If you haven't told a friend or family member how much they mean to you, please do so. It's funny how our society works sometimes. It seems like we never have the time to send flowers to someone or to tell them how much they mean (meant) to us until after they are gone. Tell them now so they can appreciate it (and you)! Something to think about!

Take Care!

Friday, July 2, 2004 12:09 AM CDT

Hi everyone! I can't believe it is July already. It was about this time last year when I began my preperations for my transplant. I continue to feel good and move closer to feeling like my old self, or should I say my old "new" self.

I want to wish everyone a very happy and safe 4th of July weekend. I will update again shortly after the holidays.

Take Care and God Bless!

Saturday, June 12, 2004 7:30 AM CDT

Hi everyone! I am sorry that I haven't updated my page for a few weeks. I wanted to wait until after my 9-month checkup. It's hard to believe that it has been 9 months already since my transplant. We had great news this week! My 9 month bone marrow biopsy indicated that there are no more cancer cells in my marrow. My blood is clean and I haven't developed any more bone lesions. All great news! Lynnette and I took the kids out Thursday night, after baseball, to celebrate! I am going to continue taking the Thalidomide (50mg daily) as long as the side effects don't become too severe. I am still having problems with my memory and that has been very frustrating.

I have been feeling much better these past weeks. I don't have any more restrictions. All my counts have been stable for several months now. I have been taking advantage of it with Matthew and Mason's baseball games, fishing and camping with the kids. It's been great! I wasn't able to do any lawn or garden work last year, but this year I feel like I am making up for lost time with all the rain we've had. I don't mind it one bit!

The next big date will be at my 1 year anniversary. That's when I get my baby shots and another my biopsy. Since I have a new immune system, I have to get my baby shots again.

Thank you for your continued prayers and support. We have been so grateful for your kindness and thoughtfulness.

I would ask that you please say a prayer for my friend, Jay Jaeger, who is trying to battle back his Myeloma so he can get a stem cell transplant. He is hoping to have his cancer low enough to have his transplant sometime in July.

Thank you and God Bless!

Wednesday, May 19, 2004 6:40 PM CDT

Hi everyone! My condition continues to improve as the weeks go by. I still have my bad days but they are becoming less and less. I am getting anxious for my next bone marrow biopsy in June to see how this Thalidomide is doing on my cancer. I have been taking a vitamin regiment from Dana Farber the helps with the Neuropathy in my legs and feet. It seems to be helping. With spring here, things have gotten a little crazy around here. Both Matthew and Mason are in baseball and Morgan will be starting dance soon. Matthew is also in Boy Scouts. So it seems like I am running all the time. I don't mind it though. I really missed that last summer and fall. I am just thankful that I can do that. I thank god everyday for my time here. It is a gift that I am truly thankful for.

I have said it before and I will continue to say it, thank you so much for your continued prayers and support. It means a great deal to my family and me. I apologize I haven't gotten back to all of you yet, but I will. I have a very hard time staying awake in the evenings now.


Take Care

Wednesday, May 5, 2004 9:21 PM CDT

Hi everyone! I hope this message finds you well! I have been doing much better the past week or so. The antibiotics seemed to have worked their magic! I continue working full time. Things are finally starting to get back to normal on that front. Lynnette and the kids are doing well. Lynnette continues to be busy with the salon and the kids are busy with baseball and dance pretty soon for Morgan. I still have numbness in my legs and feet from the Thalidomide. I am not as sleepy during the day, but at night, I can barely keep my eyes open. It is really weird. It gets so bad that I have a hard time focusing. I don't know how well my Thalidomide is or isn't working and that has been frustrating for me. My next appointment isn't until June 10th. I will continue taking the Thalidomide until then and most likely after.

I have given up my hopes of riding in the MS 150 this year. I really wanted to do the 150 this year more from a personal standpoint than anything else. However, my body apparently is not ready for this. So I will have to tackle the MS 150 again next year. Okay, my eyes are not functioning very well right now, so I am going to call it a night.


Thank you all for your continued prayers and support. They are very much appreciated by everyone.

Thursday, April 22, 2004 11:23 PM CDT

I'm sorry for the delay in updating my journal. Things have been very crazy at the home front now that spring has arrived. I continue taking 50 mg of Thalidomide daily. I still have numbness in my legs, feet and hands. Sometimes my lips get tingly as well. Weird stuff! I have resisted increasing my dosage to 100 mg per day. I want to stay on this as long as I can and my fear is that if I increase the dosage, my numbness will only get worse and I will have to stop taking it so I don't cause any permanent nerve damage to my legs, feet and hands. I have developed some type of skin condition on my feet and now on my legs. I went to see a dermatologist and they concluded that it was a very common condition caused by broken blood vessels due to low blood counts. I had some of this shortly after my transplant but it has been only recently that it has spread up my leg and onto my other leg. So now I am not so sure what to think of it. I have been pretty sick the past 4 days. I have been on some strong antibiotics this week to try and knock it down. It's working but slowly. It's a little ironic, last year at this time I went into the hospital with high temps and possible infection.

My training has not taken off. I am having a lot of problems with my muscles cramping and getting very stiff. If I can't get on my bike more consistently, then I am going to have to sit out this year's MS 150. The heart and mind want to do it but the body isn't there yet.

I would ask all of you to keep my friend Jay and his family in your thoughts and prayers. Jay is struggling to bring down his Myeloma to a level that will allow him to get a bone marrow transplant. Can you also keep Connor's family in your thoughts and prayers? It has been 2 months since Connor left us. I think about him often. I can't even imagine how difficult it has been for Connor's family.

Take Care and god bless!

Thursday, April 8, 2004 7:50 PM CDT

Hi everyone! My apologies for the delay between journal entries. Things have gotten a little better on the Thalidomide front. I continue to have numbness in my legs and feet. I am also learning to function daily under drowsy conditions. My blood pressure has also stabilized. I don't have my next biopsy until June so I don't know if this working or not. I continue to work FT and this has gone fairly well. My training for the MS 150 has not faired as well. Besides being very tired all the time, I have been getting a lot of leg cramps that just don't go away even when I stretch my legs. I am hopeful these will go away soon with continued stretching and strengthening of my legs.

Overall, I continue to stay positive and I am thankful for everyday that I have to spend with family and friends.

Thank you to all of you for your continued prayers and support! I also want to wish all of you a very Happy and safe Easter!

Sunday, March 28, 2004 8:50 PM CST

This past week has not been one of my better weeks. The Thalidomide has really begun to kick in. All my counts continue to stay in the normal range. Fatigue however, has been a big issue. The medication has also caused my blood pressure to fluctuate and my feet and legs have begun to experience neuropathy. I know this isn't that bad, it has just been tough to function and for me that is really frustrating. I am scheduled to increase my dosage of Thalidomide this week so it will be interesting to see what happens over the next 2 weeks. The other frustrating thing is that I don't even know if this is working or not. I have to wait until my next bone marrow biopsy which is scheduled in June

These side affects have slowed my training down this past week. I am determined however, to continue my training and complete the 150 Bike ride. Lynnette and the kids continue to do well. The kids are especially excited to go camping this summer. They have been bugging me to go camping already. Last year we only made it out twice so the kids are very eager to get out a lot this year.

Thank you to all of you who continue to send us your prayers and support. It means so much to my family and me. Thank you so very, very much!

Sunday, March 21, 2004 8:51 PM CST

Well it's almost been 1 full week on Thalidomide and so far it hasn't been to bad. The first day on it was pretty tough on me. But it seems as though my body has adjusted to it now. I am drinking lots of water and taking fiber drinks 3 times a day. I continue to work FT and that to has gone fairly well.

I continue to be amazed at how wonderful and caring complete strangers can be. Especially the entire Stokes family and their friends. Thank you so much to all of you for your continued support.

Finally - I would like to ask all of you to add my friend Jay to your prayers. Jay also has Multiple Myeloma. He has been going through several rounds of chemo to get his cancer level down low enough to get a stem cell transplant (which the same thing that I had). Unfortunately, he has not had much success thus far. He seems to have a pretty stubborn strain of Myeloma. Jay goes into the Dr. next week to see if his latest round of chemo has knocked his cancer level down low enough. Please pray for Jay and his family.

Okay, I have nodded off several times while typing this message. That's all for now! Take care & God Bless.

Brad

Sunday, March 14, 2004 9:48 PM CST

Hi everyone! There is not much new to update you on. I had another Dr. appt. last week to get ready for my Thalidomide. The big side effects from the Thalidomide are drowsiness, constipation and neuropathy - oh goodie! I should begin taking it this week. My Onc. is still very upbeat about where I am at right now even with the plasma cells discovery. So that is encouraging.

Lynnette and I attended a Multiple Myeloma conference that was held in Minneapolis. It was very encouraging to hear about all the research activity that is going on with this rare disease. One of the other bright spots was that we were able to meet another transplant patient (Donor transplant) that we had spoken with a few times prior to my transplant. His name is Chris Lommel. His story was featured on Kare 11 news last year. He is doing well after his transplant. He is in remission but continues to battle Graft vs. Host disease. So continues the delicate balancing act.

I continue training for the MS 150. So far it hasn't been too bad doing 15 min. a night. I have a long ways to go!

I will update again by the weekend. Mason - my middle child - will be turing 7 this week. So things are going to be a little hectic around here.

Take Care everyone and God bless!

Friday, March 5, 2004 1:25 PM CST

I just completed my 6 month checkup yesterday. The news wasn't what I had hoped for. The Dr.s found a small trace of cancer cells in my bone marrow. The good news is that there was no sign of the cancer in my blood and urine. So we really don't know what to make of these results. We will have to wait for my next appointment in 3 months to see what these cells are going to do. In response to this, I will be changing my medication to Thalydamide (SP?). This is a stronger medication than the Interferon I am currently taking. While I am disappointed, I am not down. This is just a small bump in the road in my fight to beating this beast. A fight that I plan on winning! What is a little ironic about this news is that I have been feeling better lately.

I have begun my training for riding in the MS 150 Bike Ride (Duluth to Woodbury) this June. Okay it is not much training, riding for about 15 minutes on my bike, but it is a start and it feels good to sweat a little!

Thank you to all of you for your continued prayers and support - I will never be able to tell you how much your support and prayers mean to my family and me!!

God Bless!

Tuesday, February 24, 2004 9:24 PM CST

I have been sitting here for 5-10 minutes looking at this blank page not knowing what to say. I am usually not a loss for words, but I am tonight. I am still very saddened at the loss of my Radiation Buddy. Even though I didn't know him very long or even very well, he still made a significant impact on me (and many, many others). I don't believe Connor was aware of how he touched so many people in so many ways. He was a very special boy and I feel so blessed to say that I am one of the people he (and his family) has touched. I believe everything happens for a reason and that God wanted me to meet this special boy and his special family (and their special friends). I have to say one more thing - I was very moved by the love and support I received from complete strangers that knew about me through Connor and his family. They sought me out and thanked me for my support of Connor and wished me well and told me they would continue to pray for me. It brought tears to my eyes and warmed my heart. I want to say thank you to all of you. Your support means so much to me. Connor will continue to be my inspiration. He taught me how to keep life simple and how to live life every day with a new passion. He also taught me to have fun again. Life is too short to be so serious all the time. Thank you Connor!

I went to the doctor last week for my monthly treatments and had the Dr. check on the pain in my left breast. They sent me to the Breast Cancer Center at Park Nicollet to get an ultrasound done. The ultrasound showed some swelling so they also performed a mammogram on me - both sides. It was quite interesting and a little embarrassing. The end results were good however; there was no sign of anything. Just seems to be something to do with my hormones. I go in for my 6 month anniversary check up this week and will get my test results next week. I always get a little nervous before these big checkups. I am hoping to start my Interferon this week. This is a maintenance drug that I will take 3 times per week in an effort to keep my cancer at bay for a longer period of time. My energy level continues to move in the right direction. I am having more good days then bad. I'll take that anytime!

Thanks again to everyone for their prayers and support. It means so much to my family and me.

Take Care and God Bless!

Thursday, February 19, 2004 11:10 PM CST

I write this journal entry with a very sad heart. My Radiation Buddy - Connor Stokes - passed away this morning at 1:44 a.m. He was just 6 days away from his 6th Birthday.
He was a very special young man that made such an impression on me and many others. Here is a section I copied off of his site - www.caringbridge.org/mn/connorstokes

Stokes, Connor Russell
Age 5, of Woodbury

Passed away peacefully at home of leukemia, on February 19, 2004. Born February 25, 1998. Preceded in death by his grandfather, Dr. John Stokes. Survived by, and deeply missed by his parents, John and Tamara Stokes; his brother and best friend Johnny; Grandparents Ralph and Kathy Hyde, and Dianne Stokes; Aunts Tracy Shields, Eileen (Bill) Bonnert, Kathy (Steve) Warmack, Anne (Chris) Sharelis, Nancy (Ted) Scislowski; cousins Jack Shields, Patrycja and Sandra Bonnert, Tyler Warmack, Michael and Ashley Sharelis, Ryan, Jack, and Alec Scislowski; and many very close friends. Connor is our little courageous hero who inspired many by the way he lived his short but amazing life. He bravely fought his illness for over 3 years, never complaining or feeling sorry for himself. He attended preschool at Guardian Angels in Oakdale, and was a Kindergartner at Middleton Elementary School in Woodbury. He loved practical jokes, swimming, fishing, hide & seek, RV’s, picnics, taking pictures, Playstation, music, baseball, hockey, soccer, and playing with his brother and friends. To learn more about Connor, please visit his web site at www.caringbridge.org/mn/connorstokes. Special thanks to Minneapolis/ St. Paul Children’s Hospitals, and Fairview University Bone Marrow Transplant Unit. Visitation will be on Sunday Feb 22nd from 7-9 pm, with a prayer service at 8:30pm. at St. Ambrose of Woodbury Catholic Church, 4125 Woodbury Drive, Woodbury 651-714-1058. Funeral service will also be at St. Ambrose on Monday, Feb. 23rd at 11:00am, with visitation 1 hour prior to the service. Memorials preferred to Make-A-Wish of Minnesota, Leukemia and Lymphoma Society, and Caring Bridge.


Johnny would like to add a few words:

Connor was the best brother I could ever have. I will miss him everyday and my life will be alot different without him.


Thank you to all of you that prayed for Connor and his family.

Take Care and God Bless!!

Saturday, February 14, 2004 8:20 AM CST

Happy Valentines Day! I had a great morning with Lynnette and the kids. Lot's of hugs and candy! I am coming up to my 1 year diagonsis date. On one hand, it has gone fast and on the other hand it seems so long ago. Needless to say I have a lot to be thankful for and I am so thankful for every minute of every day. I am thankful for all my friends and family. It is a great day today!

I continue to battle some eye problems and pain in my left nipple area. I went to the transplant doctor yesterday to get my monthly medication. The Dr. on duty suggested getting an ultrasound done to see what was going on. She did mention an interesting item that I wasn't really aware of. After getting a transplant, men and women tend to experience hormonal changes. So maybe that is contributing to the pain in my chest. Crazy! Nobody can figure out what is going on with my eyes yet. It's more of a distraction right now than anything else. I completed my second FT work week and I am holding up pretty good. I still get pretty tired by the end of the week but it seems to be getting more manageable.

Last weekend, the kids and me were at the Mall of America for a fundraising walk for the Leukemia, Lymphoma and Multiple Myeloma. We walked the first 3 levels. The kids had fun! Afterwards we went to Camp Snoopy and had a blast! We all went on the roller coaster, Morgan sat with me and I think I still have a dent in my arm from where she was hanging on to me!! She had fun but was scared stiff!!
After Camp Snoopy, we stopped at the Rain Forest Cafe and had lunch. First time there as well. Kids were too busy looking at everything to eat much. Needless to say we all had a great time. The Walk was very successful! I am thinking about riding the MS 150 again. I rode this 2 years ago for the first time and had a good time. Matthew, my oldest son, is also thinking about riding with me. We'll see how that goes once he starts training with me!!

Please continue to keep my friends Connor and Jay in your thoughts and prayers. Connor continues his brave battle with his Leukemia. He is such an inspiration to me (and to many others). His 6th birthday is coming up, Feb 25th I believe and a few weeks ago, it didn't look like he would make it to his birthday. Now it looks like he will reach that and hopefully many more birthdays. Jay continues to prepare for a possible transplant in the very near future. He has some tough decisions to make. I pray form him and his family.

Thank you and God Bless!

Friday, February 6, 2004 12:46 AM CST

Things continue to move along pretty well. I have been working about 6-7 hours a day and that has been going well. I have been pretty tired the past week. Don't know if I am pushing too hard or just fighting a bug. I have also been having some eye problems. All this is causing me concern but my oncologist, who I have seen this week, isn't too concerned. My counts are still normal and there is no sign of infection. I am however, still concerned. The kids and I are going to the Leukemia, Multiple Myeloma Walk this Saturday at the Mall of America. The kids are excited to see Camp Snoopy. Yes, I haven't taken them to Camp Snoopy yet! Heck, I have only been there a few times for lunch or dinner. I was suppose to start my maintenance therapy this week of interferon - which my transplant Dr. would like me to take. My Oncologist however doesn't believe interferon is all that helpful and can have some big side effects. So I am struggling with the decision to go with the maintenance therapy or not. I will have another discussion next week with my transplant Dr. next week to make a final decision.

My radiation buddy - Connor Stokes - continues to put up a strong fight against his Leukemia. He is such an inspiration to me. Please continue to pray for Connor and his family. Can you also include another person I know in your prayers - Jay was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma a few years ago, had some radiation, went into remission, it is now come back and he is preparing for a transplant. He is not sure if he is going to use a donor or his own stem cells for the transplant. I am praying for him and his family.

Continued thanks to all of you for your on-going support and prayers. It means so much to me and my family.

Take Care and God Bless all of you!

Friday, January 23, 2004 10:53 AM CST

Day 148 ! Things continue to improve. I have been feeling very well and the strength and endurance are getting better and better. I have been working about 6 hours a day and have been holding up pretty well. I get pretty tired by the end of the week. I am hoping to be back FT by the beginning of Feb. I am not on any medication right now and I am only going into the Dr. on a quarterly basis. My next big date is the end of February. They will be checking my cancer level to see if anything has changed. I attended my Myeloma support group meeting last weekend and it was good to see everyone. One of the people in that group had a transplant a year before mine and she continues to do very well (she is 18 months post transplant). So that is very encouraging.

I attended a surprise birthday party for Connor Stokes - my Radiation Buddy! - Wednesday at Chucky Cheese. Connor will be turning 6 in February. It was great to see Connor! He has such a tremendous family and friends that give him so much love and support. It is very powerful and moving! Connor's cancer continues to be stronger than the medication so the outlook isn't very good right now, but miracles happen and I am praying for one. I would ask all of you to continue to pray for Connor as well. Lynnette and I would like to say thank you to all of you for your continued support and prayers. It means a great deal to us.
Take Care!

Sunday, January 11, 2004 8:52 PM CST

I am feeling very empty tonight. I just read Connor Stokes - My Radiation Buddy - update and he is not doing very well since his relapse. He had a bad reaction to the medication he was taking and he can no longer take that medication. That is one less option for him and his family. They are looking at starting a drug called Velcade, which was recently okayed for use in fighting what I have Multiple Myeloma. The other big problem is that Connor's kidney functions are not doing well and this medication won't help any. I would like to ask all of you to please pray for Connor and his family. I believe in miracles and Connor needs one right now.

This past week has been the best that I have felt in over a month. I have been battling a head cold for over 2 months. I am still a little stuffy but feel so much better. I continue to work PT for now, but hope to be back to work FT by the beginning of Feb. One thing that I have noticed since my transplant is that I get a little freaked out over every little thing that is wrong with me and my body. I try not to worry but it I do. Well, that is enough about me for now. I just want to focus on praying for Connor and getting him better. I am also praying for another friend of mine that has Multiple Myeloma and is going in for a transplant very soon (at the U of M).
Thank you so much for your continued support and your prayers for me and my friends.

Sunday, December 28, 2003 11:01 PM CST

Day 122! First let me wish all of you a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! It has been a wonderful Christmas for my family and me! Even though I continue to battle a bad cold, I had a great time spending time with Lynnette and the kids. We also had some of Lynnette's family over on the weekend to play some games that we didn't get a chance to play at Christmas. Great fun was had by all.

As I mentioned already, I continue to battle a bad cold. It seems as though my immune system still isn't strong enough yet to kick this cold bug that I have. I have been pretty fatigued by this cold, usually taking about 2-3 naps per day. I have also been battling some problems with my teeth. Once you start the transplant process, you can't get your teeth cleaned or taken care of for fear of getting very sick from the bacteria on your teeth. You can't even floss. So that is catching up to me and I am having problems with a few teeth. The Dr.s have finally given the okay to see the dentist but I must take some strong antibiotics before the appointment.
Last week, Mason had a Dr. appt. at Children's Hosp. for a fainting condition he has been experience this past year. Mason and I made a surprise visit to my Radiation Buddy - Connor Stokes. Connor was finishing up his short stay at Children's for a new drug he is taking for his cancer. It was pretty funny because as I approached Connor's room and looked in, Connor's Dad - John - looked out at me as if who the heck are you? He hadn't seen me with out my mask on and with hair. It was great to see Connor and his family (including 2 of Connor's 5 Aunts).

I would like to ask all of you again to please continue to pray for Connor and his family. They have a tough road ahead of them - looking for new, experimental, treatments for Connor and his cancer that just won't go away.
Thank You!

Sunday, December 14, 2003 8:01 PM CST

Day 108! Last Thursday I received my Day 100 test results. There is no sign of the cancer in my bone marrow and only a trace in my blood. The Dr. indicated these were great results and I would second that as well!! Lynnette, the kids and me went out that night for dinner to celebrate. While it is not in remission it is as close as you can get to it. So we are hopeful that it stays this way for a long time. Now I need to decide if I want to undergo any type of maintenance therapy - some of which is more like a treatment plan than a maintenance plan. I will continue to go in monthly for blood tests and then quarterly to check on the cancer levels in both my marrow and in my blood. I completed my 2nd week back to work and it had been a struggle. I can only work about 2-4 hours a day and then I get completely exhausted and have to take a nap. I never thought it would be this difficult to get back to work but I can see it is going to take me some time to get back to 100% (reality check!!). I continue to have a head cold - one that has lasted at least 1 month and my back is still very sore from the bone marrow biopsy. But other than that, I am feeling pretty good. I am very excited to spend some time with the family this Christmas! We want to thank all of you for your continued prayers, support and encouragement. It is very special and important to my family and me. Thank You!

Sunday, December 7, 2003 9:17 PM CST

Today is Day 101!! I passed my first major milestone (Getting to Day 100)! I had my 100 day tests last Thursday (Day 98). One of the tests they do is a bone marrow biopsy (on both sides of the back of my hip). Normally this is a relatively short and not to painful of a procedure (about 1/2 hour). This time was very different. I have been taking a bone hardening drug called Zometa and let me tell you it is working! The first Dr. that tried didn't have any success getting into my bone. The second Dr. was successful but bruised me pretty good trying to break through into my bone. Needless to say I have been in a lot of pain the past few days. I will get my test results back this Thursday (12/11). I will let you know how they come out. I started back to work this week on a PT basis. I went into the office 2 days for about 2-3 hours and it wiped me out. Driving home on Friday was very difficult because I was so tired. But I have to say it sure felt good to get back into the office again and talk to my co-workers. I am hoping that I will be fit enought to go back to work FT by the beginning of January.

Lynnette and the kids are doing well. The kids are happy to see their dad starting to get back to normal. While I don't have a picture posted yet, my hair is really starting to fill in. It is thicker than it was before. Which is a good this since I was already pretty thin to begin with.

Please continue to pray for Connor and his ongoing battle. A person can never have too many people praying for him or her.

Take Care and God Bless Everyone!

Until we meet again ....

Sunday, November 30, 2003 8:54 PM CST

Day 94! Day 100 is coming up fast. I go in for my 100 Day Anniversary tests this Thursday. I get my results the following Thursday (12/11). This is a big milestone for me in that it will tell me alot about where my cancer is and how my new bone marrow is doing thus far. It is also important from an "out of the woods" standpoint. Most of the bad things tend to happen during the first 100 days. I am very greatful that I have had a relatively quite 100 days. I continue to pray everyday and thank God for each and every day that I have with my family and friends.

I had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I had to take a couple of naps during the day but it was good to be with family. I have been feeling better this past week. Although I can't shake my cough and congestion. My strength is still not there and I still get tired very easily. I have begun walking again and hope that this will give me more energy soon.

Fosr those of you that have been following Connor Stoke's progress, here is a brief update. Unfortunately the news isn't good. Connor has offically relapsed. Connor's parents are talking to the Dr's to determine what the next step might be. The Donor Bone Marrow transplant that Connor recently had was his last big hope for beating his cancer. Connor's parents are looking into getting Connor onto some trial drugs. His body can't take any more chemo and radiation. They have found one trail that they would like to explore, however Connor has to get worse before he can be considered for the trail. Please continue to keep praying for Connor. If you would like to read more about Connor or just send him a note, his web site can be found at: www.caringbridge.org/mn/connorstokes.

As always, thank you so much for your continued prayers and support.

Until we meet again...God Bless!

Wednesday, November 19, 2003 7:11 PM CST

Day 83 Post Transplant! My apologies for the delay in updating my journal. I have been sick these past 11 days and have not felt too creative. I have been very tired and have had a very persistent cough. I have been taking oral antibiotics but it hasn't knocked out what ever I have. It has been very frustrating for me. I did not start working this week as I had planned. I am hoping to try it again the week after Thanksgiving. The swelling is gone now so that is a good thing. No ideas yet as to what caused it. I haven't been exercising because I have been so tired and weak. I am hoping to start walking again next week. My spirits have been down a little this past week. I just keep telling myself that it's only temporary. I go into the BMT clinic again tomorrow for my regular tests and my monthly dose of Zometa - which is a bone hardner. My 100 day anniversary is fast approaching - Dec 4th. That is a big date for me since it will give me my first true indication of how the bone marrow transplant went and if there is any remaining cancer in my body. I find out the results on Dec. 11th. So I am looking forward to my early Christmas present!!!

I want to thank everyone for their continued support and prayers. I can't begin to tell you how much I appreaciate the prayers and support. Thank you!

Until next time...God Bless!

Saturday, November 8, 2003 6:00 PM CST

Day 72 post transplant! This week has been a little tough. I have been battling swollen feet, legs and arms. I have also had a very numb right arm and hand. My feet have looked like little balloons due to the swelling. The Dr.s have been conducting several tests to determine what is causing the swelling. On Wednesday, I developed a 102 degree temp. and had to go to the hospital. They took a few blood cultures and blood tests that have thus far turned up nothing. Thursday, Friday and Saturday were spent at the BMT Clinic getting antibiotics via an IV and doing more blood tests. One of the antibiotics they gave me can cause you to turn beet red and thats just what I did. I looked pretty darn funny!! The fever is gone now so I can stay at home and take an oral antibiotic. The Dr.s still don't know what caused the fever or what is causing the swelling. I think the swelling is just more of my body trying to heal more than anything else. I go back in to the clinic next week for more tests regarding the swelling and the numbness in my right arm.

My hair has really started to come back in now. I have been using Nioxin shampoo and conditioner and it has really helped. Nioxin is an all natural product that helps clean your hair follicles which allows existing hair to stay and new hair to grow (in previously plugged follicles). The Mayo clinic recommends Nioxin to their cancer patients that have lost their hair. My hair is so soft, it's like baby hair but only darker.

I am still planning on going back to work on a PT basis the week of Nov. 17th. I am hoping to be back FT sometime in early December.

Thank you for all your continued prayers! They are very much welcomed and appreciated.

Take Care and God Bless!

Friday, October 31, 2003 6:52 PM CST

Day 64! It's seems like yesterday but yet it doesn't. It's hard to explain so I won't! Needless to say I am feeling better and better everyday. I have been walking in the mornings and I am up to 3 blocks. I have also been doing some strength exercises (a few pushups and situps mostly) to get my physical strength back. That will take some time I am sure. No Dr. appointments this week. I go in next week. I am planning on going back to work on a PT basis Nov. 17th with hopes of going back FT by Dec. 1st. I am very excited about geting back to work. I am going crazy at home. It's such a relief when I can get out and go to the store or just picking up the kids from daycare or school. I hope this isn't too choppy. I have been typing this and answering the door for the trick & treater's. Both Mason & Morgan have been sick this week. So I am hoping like heck that I don't get their sickness. So far, so good! I will leave you with my continued thank you to all of you for your continued thoughts and prayers. And thank you for your continued prayers for Connor Stokes - my "Radiation Buddy". He is my inspiration. He has been through more in 6 years than I have ever been through in my 38 years and yet he continues to smile and laugh and live life to its fullest.

Happy Halloween everyone!! Until we meet again....God bless!

Friday, October 24, 2003 8:45 PM CDT

Today is Day 57! I visited the BMT Clinic yesterday and got some good news. All my blood counts are in the normal ranges! That is great news! Now I just need to work on regaining my strength and stamina. The Dr. gave me the okay to go back to work soon - on a part time basis to begin with. Probably sometime around the middle of Nov. By then I should have enough strength and stamina. I will still need to wear my mask when I am around large groups or people that are sick. The Dr. also gave me the green light to stop wearing my mask when I am outside unless I am around a lot of poeple. That is very cool!! While the Dr.s can't tell how far along my new immune system is, they do know it takes about 1 yr. to get back to 100So I will need to be careful about germs, sick people, molds, spores, pollen, etc. for a while. So if I don't shake your hand, please don't get upset with me!

I have been following the progress of my "Radiation Buddy" Connor Stokes and unfortunately he is back in the hospital. He went back in earlier this week due to a fever spike of 101 deg. He has been getting antibiotics and they have been checking his blood for signs of infections. His blood tests results have raised some concerns that he may have relapsed already - although this would be very unusual. Thursday they completed a bone marrow biopsy on Connor and the results have been pretty postive however further testing will need to be completed to know for sure if there has been a relapse or not. Please continue to keep Connor and his family in your thoughts and prayers. Connor is a very brave young man and he really needs our prayers right now. In case you're interested, Connor's CaringBridge web site is: www.caringbridge.org/mn/connorstokes

Until we meet again - god bless!

Tuesday, October 21, 2003 1:51 PM CDT

Today is Day 54! I am feeling better and better each day. That is very exciting. I have begun walking in the mornings. Matthew, my oldest son, has been joining me for my walks. I have really valued that special time with him. It has been very frustrating for me however, at how fatigued I get when I am walking or doing, what I see as, simple activities. My muscles are very stiff and sore just from the short walks around the block. I know this is probably just a short term deal but it is frustrating none the less. I go to the BMT Clinic this Thursday for my regular blood work and to discuss the timeframe for me getting back to work. I am very eager to get back to work, however I don't want to rush back too quickly and cause a set-back in my recovery process. My hair has been very slow to come back. I still only have a small amount of fuzz on my head. I hope it comes in by year end because I get very cold now. I can't imagine how cold I will get when it actually gets cold!

That is it for now. I will update again on Friday after my Dr. appointment. Take Care!

Tuesday, October 14, 2003 12:33 AM CDT

Day 47! It's hard to believe that it has been that long since the transplant. Overall, I continue to feel good. I have had a few days with a fever, but nothing too bad. This past Sunday, Lynnette and I took the kids to a pumpkin patch. We were there for about an hour and after we got home, I was so exhausted, that I had to lay down for a nap and slept about 2-1/2hrs. So needless to say I don't have much energy yet. Went to the BMT clinic last week and received some treatments. My blood work still looks positive, but it has taken a few steps back in a few areas. The Dr.'s aren't too concerned at this point. I go in again next week to get an update. Yes, I am going in every 2 weeks now! That has been nice! I am starting to get a little peach fuzz growing on my head. It might be too early to tell but so far it looks like I am going to have the same straight hair! I know this may sound a little silly, but I had to shave twice last week - at least under my nose and on my chin. That is big news because up to that point, I shaved only once since my transplant. My cheeks and jaw area don't seem to be as active yet. But I am not complaining because it has been very nice not having to shave every day! I continue to battle an on again/off again rash on my head, chest and back. The Dr.'s thought it might be from some of the medication that I have been taking, but that dosen't appear to be the case so they are a little stumped about what is causing the rash. They don't believe it is anything serious however. I think I may have developed some allergies since my transplant. My eyes have been burning, itching and swollen since the transplant. I also get a runny nose for no reason. Oh well, I think I can live with that!!
I want to say thank you again to everyone for their continued prayers and support. I greatly appreciate everything you have done. THANK YOU!

Until we meet again...

Friday, October 3, 2003 11:19 AM CDT

Day 36! Yesterday I met with my Dr. to review all my tests from my first transplant anniversary - day 28. Overall the news was good. My new bone marrow is doing well. My blood counts continue to improve. I have several bone leasions throughout my body but they have not progressed so that is good. Regarding the cancer, we are shooting for 0.0. I am at 0.1 right now and that is not that in not totally unexpected since this cancer has a half-life of 28 days. That means that it takes at least 28 days for the cancer that was in my body to die. The blood tests were taken 28 days post transplant. I will get a better indication if my cancer is gone on my 100 day check up. For now, I will just go under the assumption that it is gone - gone forever. So all-in-all it was a good day.
I continue to feel good. I still get tired out pretty easily. I am tring to get out a little more. Last night I went to Matthew's football game. That was very cool! Today I am going to try and venture out to the grocery store to pick up a few things. It feels good to get out of the house and be a little productive. I miss seeing all my friends, family and colleagues. I talk to many of you on the phone but it is not the same as being there in person. I want you all to know how special you all are to me (and my family). Your continued support, prayers, encouragement and friendship means so much to me. A thousand thank you's doesn't begin to express how I feel and how gratefull I am.
THANK YOU!

Tuesday, September 30, 2003 11:44 AM CDT

Today is Day 33! Lynnette and I celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary yesterday. Lynnette had an event at the salon last night so we had a cookie and a glass of milk when she got home around 10 p.m. Wasn't the way I wanted to celebrate it but under the circumstances, we were not complaining.

I went to see my Oncologist yesterday. He was very pleased with my progress. He is a very good and caring Dr. I feel very fortunate to have him as my Oncologist. I have my big meeting this Thursday with my Bone Marrow Transplant Dr. This will give me my first real update on my cancer and my bone marrow. Because my original bone marrow was totally destroyed by the radiation and chemo, my new bone marrow is just like a newborn's bone marrow. It hasn't been exposed to anything so it doesn't know how to react when it is faced with germs and viruses. So I am a 38 year old man with a baby's bone marrow. I even have to get all my baby shots again when I get to my 1 yr. anniversary. My rash that I have on my face and neck is most likely from my new marrow. My skin has become much more sensitive. I developed a big burn blister on my back from the bandage they used after my bone marrow biopsy last Friday. It is really weird.

My counts continue to move in the right direction. I have been holding steady this week as far as my energy level goes. I still feel very weak and get tired out very easily. But that should improve as my body gets stronger. My tastebuds are coming back. Food is tasting like it should. Water is also tasting better.

I will update the site again Thursday night. Oh, one more thing. I saw Connor and his family at the Bone Marrow Clinic last Friday. He was released from the hospital last Thursday. He looks great and is doing great. He has developed a little bit of the Graft vs. Host disease but nothing too bad yet. A little is good. A lot is bad. So let's hope that it continues to stay at its low level. I continue to pray for Connor and ask that you please keep him and his family in your thoughts and prayers.

Take care and God Bless!

Thursday, September 25, 2003 11:26 AM CDT

Today is day 28 post transplant and I continue to improve everyday. I have been feeling much more alert lately and my mind is becoming more clearer. I know that must sound funny but that chemo and radiation makes your mind very foggy. The Dr. says that it is pretty typical that your mind improves first before the rest of your body improves.
My energy level has been increasing - spending more time in a vertical position rather than a horizontal position! I haven't made it outside for any walks yet, but I hope to do that today. I have developed a rash on my face and neck. The Dr.s are not sure what is causing it - could be some of the med's that I am on or it could be caused by my marrow engrafting. I just hope it clears up soon.

I want to thank everyone again for all their continued support, thoughts and prayers. It means a great deal to me and my family - thank you!!!!

Bye for now!

Monday, September 22, 2003 9:14 AM CDT

Hello! Today is day 25 for me - 25 days since my transplant. I have been feeling better the past few days. My white blood cell count has finally bottomed out and is climbing back up on it's own. The rest of my blood counts continue to slowly climb but have not reached their normal levels yet. These are all very good signs that my bone marrow is rebuilding. I went to the Dr. on Friday and they are pleased with my progress. The Dr. even gave me the green light to start walking outside with my mask on!! I am very excited about that, although I don't know if I can make it around the block. I will let you know how that goes. On Friday of this week, I will have a bunch of tests and x-rays done to see how the new bone marrow is doing and to see where things are at with the cancer. So this will be a big week for me.

Last Friday, before my Dr. appointment, I stopped by to say Hi to my Radiatioin Buddy - Connor. He looked great! He is doing well. His blood counts continue to climb and there is no sign so far of the Graft vs. Host Disease. I put a picture of Connor and me on the site. Please contine to keep Connor and his family in your thoughts and prayers. He still has a long way to go.

That's all for now!

Tuesday, September 16, 2003 5:51 PM CDT

Hello again! Sorry about the long delay in updating my journal. While my blood counts are heading in the right direction, my body is still very weak. I have been very tired and nauseated these past days. I know it sounds dumb, but it has been very hard to get up the energy to sit down at the computer. I went to the Bone Marrow Transplant Clinic (BMT) on Monday and they had trouble drawing blood from my catheter. My chest x-rays showed that the end of the catheter was curing up in my vein and that it could cause more harm than good so they decided to take it out. The weird thing about it is that they don't stich up the hole where the catheter came out. It's nice not to have those tubes hanging out of my chest!

I have had a low grade fever the past few days, so it appears that my body is beginning to regain it's fighting capability. That's a good thing!! Right now it appears that I just need time to heal and regain my strength - oh yeah, regain my hair too! I have a little fuzz growing on my head. My little girl - Morgan - likes to rub my head with her cold, wet hands (from washing them). I have to admit, I like the cold on my head!

I ran into Conner's Aunt yesterday at the BMT Clinic. She indicated that Conner is doing well. He has his up days and down days. Next week is a big week for him. That is when the Graft VS Host disease tends to show itself if he develops it. This can be very minor or it can be very serious, so please continue to keep Conner in your prayers. I am going to stop by and see him this week while I am at the clinic.

I will update again later this week, probably on Thursday.

Take Care and God Bless all of you!!

Tuesday, September 16, 2003 5:51 PM CDT

Hello again! Sorry about the long delay in updating my journal. While my blood counts are heading in the right direction, my body is still very weak. I have been very tired and nauseated these past days. I know it sounds dumb, but it has been very hard to get up the energy to sit down at the computer. I went to the Bone Marrow Transplant Clinic (BMT) on Monday and they had trouble drawing blood from my catheter. My chest x-rays showed that the end of the catheter was curing up in my vein and that it could cause more harm than good so they decided to take it out. The weird thing about it is that they don't stich up the hole where the catheter came out. It's nice not to have those tubes hanging out of my chest!

I have had a low grade fever the past few days, so it appears that my body is beginning to regain it's fighting capability. That's a good thing!! Right now it appears that I just need time to heal and regain my strength - oh yeah, regain my hair too! I have a little fuzz growing on my head. My little girl - Morgan - likes to rub my head with her cold, wet hands (from washing them). I have to admit, I like the cold on my head!

I ran into Conner's Aunt yesterday at the BMT Clinic. She indicated that Conner is doing well. He has his up days and down days. Next week is a big week for him. That is when the Graft VS Host disease tends to show itself if he develops it. This can be very minor or it can be very serious, so please continue to keep Conner in your prayers. I am going to stop by and see him this week while I am at the clinic.

I will update again later this week, probably on Thursday.

Take Care and God Bless all of you!!

Wednesday, September 10, 2003 4:37 PM CDT

Hello everyone! This has been the first day I have felt well enough to get back on the computer! I am feeling much better than last week. The main reason for this is that my blood counts are getting better and better every day. My Dr.'s are very pleased with my progress thus far, so that is encouraging. I am still tired and feeling very weak but my energy level has been picking up!

One of the challenges for me now as I start to feel better is not doing too much too fast. I am not a good sick person. I have a very hard time laying in bed all day, especially when I am starting to feel better. However, my Dr.s have stressed not to overdue it for a while. I have already asked my Dr.when I can start exercising!

I want to say thank you to everyone for their continued thoughts and prayers! You have given me so much strength with your support. I can't even begin to tell you how much that has meant to me and my family. Thank you so much!

Two more things before I go. Please continue to keep my "Radiation Buddy" Connor Stokes in your thoughts and prayers. He continues to recover from his stem cell, cord blood transplant. If you are interested in checking on his progress, his site is at www.caringbridge.org/mn/connorstokes

I have finally put a few pictures on the web site!

Bye for now!!

Saturday, September 6, 2003 10:37 PM CDT

Just a brief update: Since Wednesday, Brad was still hanging strong despite the same challenges as before. He has now added to those challenges quite a few nose bleeds. These last anywhere from 15min to an hour. When he goes to the clinic everyday he has been receiving transfusions, anibiotic, and fluids to help with this. THEN.....
GREAT NEWS! Brad's counts have been starting to go up. Just small at first, but higher to date. He is still very exhausted but boy can you tell the difference. He asked about the garbage, the bills, and changing daycare rates. I'm telling you, this is BIG. He has always been concerned about the kids being alienated from him because of this whole process and is bound and determined not to let that happen. This has meant, and will mean even more, keeping an eye on him to make sure he doesn't get too warn down. Everybody's thoughts and prayers are sure helping. Thank You so much, they are well received!! For everyone who has helped in so many other ways, you are a treasure that people hope for. We're glad to have you. Thank You as well!
Bye for now.

Wednesday, September 3, 2003 11:00 PM CDT

Well it's the 6th day after transplant. Today has been one of the most challenging days to date. Most of Brad's counts are bottomed out, as a result, he received his first replacement of platlets.(transfusion) He was hoping never to have one of these, but is extremely thankful for all those who donate just in case. Brad continues to be plagued with fevers, extreme pain from mouth and bottom sores, vertigo, and low tolerance to alot of activity. Brad says, "I just don't have the energy." True, he's not going to be entering any marathons, as we know it, but he truely is in a marathon every day. He is so... determined to stay out of the hospital that despite how he feels he tries to keep up his eating, drinking fluids, and moving around. To me, this takes alot of strength not only physically but mentally. For this we tell him how proud we are of him and thank him for fighting the fight! Brad shared with me tonight some of his goals he has set for himself. I said to myself, "Something else to focus on, this is good." I had come to find out he had spoken with a few co-workers today. Ah! Everytime he talks about work he gets all jazzed up. I don't think it was a power conference call, but there was sure alot of energy in the calls.
With everything above, going on, Brad remains on track. Like the doctor said today, "It has to run it's course." Brad, in the meantime, is trying to figure out and understand the course. To be determined..........
Thanks to all who have touched our lives in any way!!!!!! It is all relative. THANK YOU FOR YOU!

Monday, September 1, 2003 10:37 PM CDT

Hello again-Brad says "HI" to everyone. He just doesn't feel up to sitting at the computer quite yet. Today we got off to a slow start for the clinic, but we made it! When we got to the clinic, Brad was hooked up for his IV fluids right away. As we were waiting (1hr) they took his vitals. We were a little on edge and holding our breath as we learned his temp was 99.3. Dr. Barker told us Brad was right on schedule to spike a fever. As Brad was getting his IV he knew he was getting a higher temp. The nurse Joan took his temp and sure enough, it was now 101.8. Well, our now 1 hour day turned into 3 strong antibiotics and 4 hours later (5hrs total).....See what I mean, it's always a surprise. You know, it does interfere with set plans that we've made in our heads (not concrete plans) because anything goes. I do worry for our kids alot with constant change at the drop of a hat. This was their day before school starts and we had plans...... I know they didn't know of those plans, but Brad and I feel heartache that their day was consumed with worry for their dad. They are awesome little individuals that watch and listen to Dads' every move. They are more in tune than we thought. Matthew kept calling us as we were still in the clinic wondering if everything was OK because we were late. He would say, "Mom, I was wondering if it would be OK if I had a cheese stick? What's Dad doing right now?" Mason and Morgan hate it that Dad doesn't feel good! When Brad hears these things it breaks his heart but makes him strong to get rid of this cancer!!! Everybody's words of encouragement help him forge forward to his goal.
Back in the clinic Brad spent most his time dealing with a sore bottom and nose from lack of mucous due to chemo and radiation. See, I knew I didn't bonk him! Brad tried to sleep during all of this excitement, but it was rather difficult. As was the van ride home. He had to lay in the very back with the seat most of the way down. I had to watch the corners! We finally made it home and the kids were so excitd to see Dad home and not in the hospital. Which Brad is trying desperately to stay away from!!!!!!Brad went straight to bed and was awaken by a 102.8 temp. He said, "Give me some Tylenol, I'm not going to the hospital!" So we did. Then I proceded to call the hospital just to double check on things. They said keep up the same routine with the Tylenol. You know, they really have this procedure down and there's alot of comfort in that. So, we are plugging away and looking toward tomorrow. Hey! Brad just came down and says "HI!" He's ringing wet! Maybe that means his fever has broke! We'll wait for the morning. Brad hopes to be up to writing tomorrow. I hope he does, because he needs it to hang tough. Bye for now.

Sunday, August 31, 2003 10:52 PM CDT

Hello Everyone! It's been a few days since Brad has written, so I told him I would update his page for him. He really was discharged on Friday afternoon and doing quite well. Now we start the journey to the clinic every day. Saturday was the first day in clinic. Still doing pretty good, although the evenings are hard to sleep. He is starting to experience some nausea, dry mouth, and fatigue. Despite these things his counts are still holding their own. They tell us these will start to go down as well as the symptoms increasing, and they have. The night was a long one with continual nausea and cramping in his hands and feet. When we finally got up Sunday morning for his clinical he was struck with a wave of nausea, but more than that he was complaining of a sore nose. He said the whole nose, even the tip, was EXTREMELY sore. Almost as if he was socked in the nose. He swears I bonked him when we were sleeping. Now, I assure you that this wasn't the case. We did (I think) have a small period of sleep. OK,OK, it could have happened. But it could, have been his cramping and he did it to himself. Think of the possibility... As we were talking to Dr. Barker about this little problem (mishap) she too was perplexed. To be determined.....(we'll keep an eye on it)
This day(Sunday) was very busy in the clinic. The room we were brought to was a peds room. It was the room with all of the fish on the walls. We also got to see the room that the girlscouts were painting a mural in. It is absolutely astounding! It is remarkable the talent that these girls have at this age.(12 to 13 we were told) Brad and I both said that Connor, Brad's "radiation buddy", will think that it's pretty cool! Brad had to receive some potassium, which lasted two hours, for his cramping. So far so good. Still nothing helping the nose :-) We are finding that the daily visits may be longer than just labs and how are you doing. When we go tomarrow, Monday, Brad needs a calcium drip to start and the rest is a surprise! You really have to go with the flow. I've rambled enough, until tomarrow...
Thank you everyone for all of your caring words and your ongoing unselfishness. The best gift that anyone can give and/or get is that of themselves! That means YOU! You are the gift!!!!!! Always remember that!

Sunday, August 31, 2003 10:52 PM CDT

Hello Everyone! It's been a few days since Brad has written, so I told him I would update his page for him. He really was discharged on Friday afternoon and doing quite well. Now we start the journey to the clinic every day. Saturday was the first day in clinic. Still doing pretty good, although the evenings are hard to sleep. He is starting to experience some nausea, dry mouth, and fatigue. Despite these things his counts are still holding their own. They tell us these will start to go down as well as the symptoms increasing, and they have. The night was a long one with continual nausea and cramping in his hands and feet. When we finally got up Sunday morning for his clinical he was struck with a wave of nausea, but more than that he was complaining of a sore nose. He said the whole nose, even the tip, was EXTREMELY sore. Almost as if he was socked in the nose. He swears I bonked him when we were sleeping. Now, I assure you that this wasn't the case. We did (I think) have a small period of sleep. OK,OK, it could have happened. But it could, have been his cramping and he did it to himself. Think of the possibility... As we were talking to Dr. Barker about this little problem (mishap) she too was perplexed. To be determined.....(we'll keep an eye on it)
This day(Sunday) was very busy in the clinic. The room we were brought to was a peds room. It was the room with all of the fish on the walls. We also got to see the room that the girlscouts were painting a mural in. It is absolutely astounding! It is remarkable the talent that these girls have at this age.(12 to 13 we were told) Brad and I both said that Connor, Brad's "radiation buddy", will think that it's pretty cool! Brad had to receive some potassium, which lasted two hours, for his cramping. So far so good. Still nothing helping the nose :-) We are finding that the daily visits may be longer than just labs and how are you doing. When we go tomarrow, Monday, Brad needs a calcium drip to start and the rest is a surprise! You really have to go with the flow. I've rambled enough, until tomarrow...
Thank you everyone for all of your caring words and your ongoing unselfishness. The best gift that anyone can give and/or get is that of themselves! That means YOU! You are the gift!!!!!! Always remember that!

Friday, August 29, 2003 10:30 AM CDT

Well transplant day came and went with out to much excitement, which is good! Yesterday was by far the toughest day thus far. The transplant process took alot out of me. The Dr.'s are pleased with the results thus far. In fact, they are going to kick me out of the hospital today assuming all my blood counts are still good. That is so amazing to me!

I went by and said good-luck and good-bye to my "radiation buddy" Connor Stokes. His transplant is today, so please say a prayer for him and his family.

That's all for now!

Wednesday, August 27, 2003 9:05 PM CDT

Well the time has arrived. All the preperation is done. I had my last round of radiation this afternoon. My transplant is scheduled for tomorrow around 11:00 a.m. The Dr.'s are happy with my progress thus far and are confident everything will go well. Well enough that are are thinking about sending me home by Saturday. That seems pretty amazing to me but they have assured me that they do this all the time with their patients that are doing well.
I am still feeling pretty good. I am feeling more and more of the effects of the radiation but overall still feeling much better than I expected. The Dr. told me that the human body can withstand radiation up to 500RADS. They have been giving me 1300 RADS twice a day for 3 days. He indicated that the radiation they are giving me would kill me if they weren't giving me back my stem cells. He did assure me that they hadn't lost or misplaced my stemcells they have already collected!!

See you tomorrow!

Monday, August 25, 2003 9:26 PM CDT

Well today was my first day of my total body radiation and it was pretty uneventful. They have you sit up in a fetal position and then tape your feet to the table and your hands to the sides on your knees. Then they cook you on your right side first for about 5 minutes and then spin you around and cook you on your left side. They do that twice a day. I am feeling the effects of everything today. I am much more tired today and have been fighting off more nausea. One of the other side effects of all this chemo and radiation is throat and mouth sores. I am starting to get them as well. They don't seem too bad yet but I definitely can tell they are there.

I met a little boy named Conner today while waiting for our radiation treatments. Conner is 5 and is suffering from ALL which is a form of Lukema. He was originally diagnoised when he was 2 and now he has had a relapse. He is having a unrelated cord blood transplant on Friday. He is a great kid with a great attitude. He also knows his procedure is very risky. He is pretty amazing. My stuff seems so trival when you look at what he has and is going through. I am sending my prayers his way and would ask anyone reading this to send a little prayer his way for a safe and full recovery.

I will see you all tomorrow!

Sunday, August 24, 2003 5:56 PM CDT

Saturday was my second day of some strong chemo. I did better than I thought. They have some amazing drugs for the nausea. I got pretty tired but that was about the worst of it. They tell me it will get worse befor it gets better however. As you will see when I get some pictures posted, my hair is gone. I had the kids shave it when I was starting to loose it. The kids had a great time. We took some pictures of that from the salon. So I will try posting them in a few days. My fater-in-law, Ron Rogers says I look like Uncle Fester from the Adams Family. I have gained about 4-5 pounds of water weight from all the fluids they are pumping in me. Lynnette spent the entire day with me. It was great having her here with me even though we couldn't do too much. It was probably the most time we spent together alone for awhile.

Sunday was my rest day. My chemo is done and now I will begin my total body radiation on Monday. I had some visitors today, including my beautiful kids - the "3 M-igos" Matthew, Mason & Morgan. The kids had some ice cream and Matthew beat me in a game of Battle Ship! It was great to see everyone. Thank you to all of you that stopped by! The rest of the day was spent on catching up on some reading.

I can't say enough about the staff here. They have been great, making me feel as comfortable as possible. They are always cracking jokes and giving me lots of grief. Of course, I give it right back. My nurse today is from Wisconsin and of course I gave her a shot or two about being from cheese head country. Well my dinner is getting cold so I will leave you for now. See you tomorrow!!

Friday, August 22, 2003 12:10 PM CDT

Hello! Well the time has finally arrived. It has been a long process to get to this point, at least longer than I thought. I checked into the hospital Thursday afternoon. Not much happened, just some paperwork and some bloodwork. In fact, the Dr. gave me a pass to go out on the town for a few hours. So I went to the Twins game with a buddy of mine.

Today starts my journey to my transplant. They got me up at 4:00 a.m. to start my IV fluids. Then they started my chemo. Really strong stuff according to the Dr. When he was leaving my room, he said to strap in and enjoy the ride! Easy for him to say! The chemo makes me feel like I am floating. The chemo also causes my thought process to slow down as well. Hopefully this journal entry makes sense!!

I will have chemo today and Saturday then get a rest day on Sunday. On Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday I will get my total body radiation (2 times per day). Then on Thursday, I will have my transplant. Depending on how I am doing after that, I may get to go home shortly after the transplant. Once I am released, I will have to go to the clinic everyday to check my blood counts.

Well that's it for now. See you tomorrow!!

Friday, August 22, 2003 11:31 AM CDT

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