History

Thursday, December 11, 2008 4:35 PM CST

It is time for an upgrade..New Caringbridge page!!!!!!!!!
You can visit Abigail's CaringBridge site at http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/abigail1.

If your e-mail program does not allow you to click on the above link, just copy and paste the address into your web browser's address (or URL) location.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008 9:32 PM CST

Today I woke up feeling "I can do this" I can have a full plate and a wonderful Christmas.

Heck if I put all the holidays on hold because of illness or chaos We would never celebrate any of them.

So through thick or thin I plan to Make this the best Christmas ever... The most important thing is we are all together.

I realized me being so stressed out is not helping Abi at all or any of us for that matter.
I am not going to let this Beat me and I'm not going to let it ruin my Families Christmas!!

So just like a slap in the face I'm done with the "Life isn't going the way I want it to" blues.

It's just so hard when you are in the hospital and the stress builds and then when you come home your a mess...It takes a while to dig yourself out.

I just have to remember "It is what it is"and when life gives you snow you just pick up a shovel.

I spent the day moving Abi down to Matti's bed seems that top bunk isn't the best idea right now! She was sad at first but I made the area pretty fancy and Matti liked her new space too!
It will just be easier and safer.

Thanks for coming by....Please leave a note I'm going nuts being on House arrest!

LY Tracie

Tuesday, December 9, 2008 10:23 PM CST

Ever since Dr P said that we may have to go back into surgery if the syrinx still isn't gone I've been silently devastated!

After all the build up and mental preparing of this surgery and then to be just left floating again just hurts.

Being at home has been nice but I've fit right back in to the problems that I had going on when I left.
Why can't the world stop and let me just catch my breath???
I literally threw up this morning because I felt so stressed and overwhelmed.

I was talking with a friend who lost her job and we were discussing how easy it is to have Faith when things are just rolling along.
But then when the bottom drops and then you seem to have so much more to lose by turning it over to God...I think we all think sometimes "What if God doesn't help?" I can honestly say God has never failed me and I've been a tough customer.

The good news is I can have the strongest Faith in the world but I can still get angry and sad I don't have to like our situation but I do have to trust and believe it will get better.
There are days when I feel like it will always be "This"
.......But if I didn't have the Faith and hope that a better day will come I don't think I would get up in the morning.

Abi isn't doing very well she just doesn't feel good and her headaches are increasing.
The good news is she did eat dinner at the table instead of in her bed (We put up a bed in the living room for her during the day).
Tonight she cried for about an hour before falling asleep
I just couldn't make her feel better so I just told her to cry..I think she just needed to.

Trying hard to manage our schedule for school rides so I don't have to take her out at all.

Not sure when the Christmas shopping will begin probably February...ha ha ..I seriously haven't bought anything for the girls or Paul.

I want you to know I'm trying really hard to just breathe in Christmas Air and enjoy the wonderful season but it's tough this year it really is.

Matti is doing well except for the fact that she can't poop
(Going on day 5) I should probably do something about that but I have no Doctor energy.
She also cried a lot today because she didn't want to leave and go to school..I think she thought I wouldn't be here when she gets back.
I think it's hard for her and Kaydee to see Abi laying in the living room all day.

I pray for lots of Christmas Miracles for all of us!!!
Thanks for stopping by.....LY Tracie

Tuesday, December 9, 2008 7:29 AM CST

We are HOME!!!

We skated home last night..wasn't the ride home I would of wished for but we made it!

Abi was still not feeling good but I asked them if Dr.Partington had any plans to do anything right now and they said No...So we left.

We will have An MRI in six weeks to see if we go back to surgery...Merry Christmas.......

Monday, December 8, 2008 12:52 AM CST

Talk about a big smile!! That's what Abi had when she saw Elizabeth walking into her room with a build-a-bear box!
I also got to spend some time with my buddy Carole so that was great too!

She also hand delivered cards from her class and a beautiful quilt that her Teacher Ms.Preston made .

It is so wonderful..bright and cheery and all the kids wrote something in each square!! It really made Abi's day!

Now on to business Dr.Partington was here and mentioned once again that Abi is "A work in progress".
He didn't want to turn up the shunt for several reasons and He wants to just see how she does this afternoon...
If she seems to get her "Sparkle" back we can go home later tonight.

After He left I was feeling pretty ambitious so I asked Abi if she could try and eat lunch sitting in a chair today..she said sure.
After about 5 minutes she couldn't do it anymore because she felt really light headed and sick to her stomach!
If we are stuck with this I am not going to be very happy...

Frustrated!!!

I guess it's just a "work in progress."

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

LY Tracie

Sunday, December 7, 2008 10:18 PM CST

Today was long but painless..Abi is still feeling pretty light-headed when she is up???
If they don't want to do anything tomorrow we will just go home....I've brought home worse!

It does seem every time we have a brain surgery we end up with something a little extra!

There's no place like home...There's no place like home!

Funny how the longer your here the more paranoid you get that something will go wrong....experience I guess.

Our friend Olivia is having surgery on Monday so we are hoping that will be all for her for a while.

Not sure if I will be doing Christmas cards this year..time is really ticking away and here I sit!

Abi is so excited her BFF Elizabeth is coming to see her tomorrow...It will be nice for both of us to see new people other then ones in scrubs.

Thanks for coming......LY ....Tracie

Sunday, December 7, 2008 1:59 PM CST

Well a little change in events....Abi woke up not doing so well..when she sits up at all she is very lightheaded and feels sick.
Also we thought she was leaking a little from her incision because her hair was greasy this morning.

So I guess it was a good thing I didn't pack.
They have Abi flat on her back and they hooked her back up to IV fluids she is not too happy about it.
I'm just trying to make the best of it and notice the beautiful snow outside.
I would rather have issues here instead of at home.

I miss my family and of course Lola....Haven't seen them since Friday!

I always think we will be here such a short time so I tell them not to bother but then it tends to turn into a little bit longer so then I miss them.

They seem to be having a fun time with Daddy and MooMoo(MY Mom).

That is all for now..Talk to you tonight if I have time (Ha ha ha ha) all I have is time.

LOL Tracie

Saturday, December 6, 2008 9:52 PM CST

Well the day was pretty uneventful the pain control has been really good ..around the clock medicine!! Yea Team!!

Sounds like things are running smooth at home and that is always such a big relief...I think Paul likes my Mom being there because she is nicer then me,,ha ha

The Doctor came by and said the reason it may be a little longer of a recovery is because it wasn't just your usual shunt job..a little more was involved.

That's fine she can have all the time she needs...

Abi was able to get a whirlpool bath and boy did she need it!!
Her hair was piled on top of her head and it felt and looked like plastic.

Still not all washed out but you hate to scrub too hard..Yikes!

Once again we are left with her poor head looking like a road map...she looked in the mirror and was shocked a little.

She keeps saying that every position in bed is uncomfortable
then I remind her she had surgery and isn't suppose to be comfortable!

I'm really trying hard to look at the up side of all this but I can't help but be a little discouraged....I guess I was hoping this surgery would take our black cloud away and give us a little relief..instead we are back to the "Is the syrinx going to be bigger in a month " Game.

Plus how much relief is she going to have from this surgery??? Probably none.

Sorry to be negative I should just be happy she is doing good and I am.

We had some visitors later today..Abi's Grandma and Gramp
plus Paul's sister and her daughter..It was nice to see them.

Funny thing..next door to us is a little girl who is 10 and she has Chiari and a syrinx.....Her syrinx is in her lower back I remember Dr Partinton saying He wished ours was there instead of by the brain stem.
She just had a shunt put in her syrinx ..Her Dr. is also Dr. Partington..small world!

Well thanks for checking in...LY

Tracie reporting from the "Big House".

Saturday, December 6, 2008 8:33 AM CST

Hi

Night went well.....Morning is alright.......

If you have read my page for a while you know that my thing that I hate almost more then anything is.....How they treat every situation the same here...Abi is still in bed hasn't been out once and the nurse comes in right off the bat and says "Maybe you can go home today".

So here is Abi head just cut open in different places hasn't been up feels dizzy even in bed and the nurse sends her into a shear panic !!!Thank you very much!

We are waiting for the Doctor and I know after seeing Abi it will be a different story.

I can see the wind blowing the snow around like a tornado outside the window looks pretty cold.

I'm just going to say a little prayer for God to guide our stay here because after all it's not nurse clueless who's in charge it's Him (Thank Goodness).

Friday, December 5, 2008 8:22 PM CST

Not too much to report tonight.....They are keeping Abi pretty comfortable so she has been really quiet.

Once again she has "Mr Tomato Face" she is so red.

She is also being a little cranky about her catheter, but when the nurse explained she'd have to lift her head and get up to go to the bathroom she was completely fine with it being in.

Seems like with each surgery the more we have the harder it seems she bounces back.
I remember a year ago she'd have surgery and be coloring by noon.
Not that way anymore.

I heard it is snowing unfortunately we don't have much of a view unless you like brick.

Dr.Partington came by tonight and I asked him what chance He thinks we have of this taking care of the syrinx ..By what He said I think the chance is pretty slim.
There was only one tube clogged and the other one was still working enough to help with the flow??? But I will pray for the slim chance to be enough.

For now I will just focus on what we have right now because that seems to be enough to manage.

Prayers going out to Olivia and Traci they are also in the "Big House".
Anna who got home today...Alison who is still recovering....Cristina's little kitty who is fighting infections.....P.J for strength and guidance...Kira..Gavin...Mark...Braydon...Michael...and so many more (If I didn't mention you I'm sorry feeling a little sleep deprived)

Thanks for checking in I pray for a peaceful night for Abi and for all of you.

Love ya....Tracie

Friday, December 5, 2008 1:49 PM CST

Hello...

The surgery is over and lasted about three hours and seemed to go pretty well.

Dr. P ended up making three incisions ...2 in the head and another behind her ear.
At least we got our moneys worth ha ha.

Her shunt was pretty clogged but he is unsure if this will make the difference that we need in her spinal cord??

The bad news is we will have an MRI in a month and see if it did in fact make a difference if not we are back into surgery!

I'm glad He decided to stop and wait but then I hate once again having that hang over our heads.

The nurse is keeping her pretty well medicated (I love that)..so she seems to be comfortable for now..as our other Chiari friends know the night after a surgery is usually a little rough.

Not sure what our stay will be but I guess we take that a day at a time.

Thank you for your prayers today they always help.

Thursday, December 4, 2008 9:27 PM CST

I guess it's time to walk down this road one more time...
Hopefully the travel will be worth the outcome because right now it's painful.

Abi had a little better day today because all her E-mails really kept her busy! Thank you so much for all the great messages...It meant everything to her!

I don't have to ask for your prayers because we can already feel them.

I will update when I can and as much as I can....Goodnight
and thank you for being here and by our side.

Surgery is suppose to start at 8:00 for those who are lighting candles...Thank you.

Tracie

Wednesday, December 3, 2008 10:03 PM CST

I really feel like my head is going to explode.....

Abi has finally realized what surgery is all about and has just been crying all day she is so scared and no matter what I say It doesn't help.
It is so heart breaking to see her have to go through this.

In the past she was the strong one and Paul and I usually knew what she was in for so we were scared...those days are done and now she is old enough to remember.

Please if you have been E-mailing her please do it tomorrow..Because I know if today was hard tomorrow will be worse. Her E-mail is abirocks247@q.com
Thank you! Those E-mails really brighten her day!

Matti woke up doing better today but still is choosing not to eat much at all...It is so frustrating.....She is getting even more skinny then she already was.

I really have to concentrate to breathe in and out I just feel suffocated.
I need to somehow pull it together before Friday but I'm not sure how that will happen???

Hopefully God will pull us through like He always does.

Thank you for being here.......Tracie

Tuesday, December 2, 2008 9:41 PM CST

I enjoy the fact and like waking up because you never know the good things that can happen in a day!

Unfortunately the same goes for bad you never really know when that is coming either.

Matti ended up needing to be rushed to the ER early this morning because she was vomiting and was as pale as ever.

We arrived and I stressed that we needed an IV as soon as they could get it in there.
I must say they were very quick and we dodged what could of been a serious situation.

We stayed all day and then made the choice to just come home.
They kept her IV in because I think the way she looked they knew she would be coming back.....So far that is not the case.

I'm almost scared to go to bed because of what the night or morning can bring.
The scary thing about her metabolic disorder is when she starts throwing up you have minutes to decide what to do...
I hate that part of it and I guess all of it in general.

Funny how one would think that a Brain surgery would be enough for one week but I guess there was a different plan.

I'm really trying to just take it all in and keep going...I'm not going to start feeling sorry for myself or ask WHY?? I just have to believe and have Faith that this is how it is suppose to be and this is where I'm suppose to be.
I also have to believe that God will give me and my Family the strength we need to keep going.

My eyes are full of tears tonight because of the part that really really stinks about all this........ my little girls have to go through all the painful procedures and the surgeries and the blood draws and the fear of knowing what is ahead.

Matti had a lead part in her school concert tonight and there again the illness Monster didn't care.

Thank you for being here....We can feel your prayers and support.

Prayers going out...

MY 5
1. A sunny yellow card in the mail.
2. Abi's last day of school being special and filled with lots of hugs.
3. Being able to spend the night at home and not in a Hospital.
4. Hearing Abi's surgery will be about 3 hours instead of 4
and we are expected to be in the Hospital 5 days (It makes me laugh because none of those things are ever set in stone or ever right).

Monday, December 1, 2008 10:05 PM CST

I don't really know what to say tonight....I'm just so discouraged.

I ended up going back and forth about if I should take Matti in to the Doctor today because she still is not looking or doing that great.
So I did........

We ended up not getting a scan because she seemed to be able to touch her nose and squeeze Dr.B's hand...but she was looking a little pale so He wanted her to get a blood sample done.

Coming back to the clinic after the lab she grabbed her chest and started crying almost like she was having trouble breathing!
I was freaking out and it takes a lot to get me that way.
I just knew she was going to collapse on the floor.
Matti said her heart felt like it was going too fast...the nurse came out to get us and by that time she was feeling a little better...whatever it was had passed.

I was so scared and told Dr.B and His comment was it was probably anxiety!!!! I just felt once again that I was not taken seriously...I hate that!

So we left and was told if she doesn't feel better to call.
Thank You!!!!

Abi is pretty much cracking under pressure..she is so nervous about this surgery.
It helped her so much today that she received E-mails and then her BFF gave her a gift at school and that made her feel so much better.

I just want this surgery over! It's making all of us crazy.

Her last day of school is tomorrow at least until she is able to go back.

The girls have been working hard on their "Santa Lists"
and I hope He has been saving His $$$ because Abi wants a Nintendo DS (Red) and several games / Matti wants a Nintendo DS in Pink and more then several games / Kaydee wants a Nintendo DS in Blue and only a couple games.......................................Whatever happened to Barbies and The Little People sets??????????

Well I guess I will go to bed so I can get up and have "Another Day In Paradise"...........Sometimes I think I should slap myself really hard to make sure all this is real.
Luckily if someone observed me doing this they would say "I was wondering when she would lose it."

Leave me a note if you have time... Thanks for coming By!

MY 5
1. The fact that I don't have an anger issue (imagine how bad that would be)
2. Abi's BFF Elizabeth and all of her friends.
3. All of us home safe and sound.
4. Soup from our neighbor and Milk from another neighbor!
5. Being able to assure Abi that God is with her.

Love... Tracie

Sunday, November 30, 2008 10:05 PM CST

Hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Our Day was nice the only downfall was the thoughts of surgery hanging over all of our heads. I really tried to stay in the "Thankful For" side of things.

The day my brother and kids were due to be here the basement decided to flood some sort of problem with the drain.

There I was pants rolled up with a plunger knee deep in Yuck looking up and yelling "God, Brain surgery and then now a flood!! Seriously"
I know God doesn't give us bad stuff but it seems If He can part a Sea He could stop a drain flood!
It actually worked out I called a Guy and He was able to come out that day...I guess that was Gods part.

Now on to the latest Christopherson (how do I say this in a nice way) Challenge.

I went to The ER tonight with Matti..she hit her head on my Moms car yesterday really really hard and she is not feeling well at all!
Very tired and bad headaches and she is not wanting to eat.
I called the on call Doctor and she said she defiantly needs to be seen.
Well anyone who has been to the ER on a regular basis knows Sunday is the absolute worst possible day to go!

But the Doctor insisted I not wait so we went......We get inside the door and the waiting area was full!! Kids were coughing,Vomiting and looking like they had something I didn't want any part of.
I told Matti to try and not breathe until I was able to get her a mask because her ill and hospitalized was not what I needed this week.

I ended up making the decision to leave and come back tomorrow we would of ended up waiting 6 hours or longer I'm sure. I told the Doctor I would go back if she started bleeding out of her ears or throwing up!

At least I've learned that there is no way my Ducks will be in a row before the surgery on Friday...knowing that takes a little pressure off.

Sounds like a fun Monday ahead!!!

I still can find at least five things to be thankful for..

1. The fact that Matti isn't bleeding out of her ears.
2. Sue & Tim
3. My Brother and His kids being here.
4. Friends
5. The stockings hanging on the fireplace.

Prayers going out..Love Ya.....Thanks for stopping By...Tracie

Monday, November 24, 2008 10:26 PM CST

Thank you to everyone who E-mailed Abi you can't imagine the joy it brought her! If you didn't and want to............. her E-mail is abirocks247@q.com

Seems the house is filled with a lot of emotion right now.
We all seem to walk around with this look of uncertainty.

I must say I haven't seen Abi this scared about a surgery before..It makes it really difficult to comfort her when I'm so upset by it all too!We all are in our own way.

My Brother comes tomorrow with His kids from Florida they will be staying through Thanksgiving.

I think this will be my last journal until Sunday night..I just want to enjoy the Holiday and forget for a little while.

I have so much to be Thankful for this year.....One of those things being "You" your continued support always helps us to get through.....For that I'm truly grateful.

Prayers going out for Olivia and Anna and all of you...

Have a Thanksgiving full of Family and Blessings....Love Tracie

Sunday, November 23, 2008 10:07 PM CST

We got a call on Friday and the surgery will be December 5th.

Abi and I got the message together and I think we both lost our breath for a moment....Once you have the official date it makes it real!

The one thing that really bugs me about illness is it has no respect...It doesn't care if you've had a hard week or if It's close to Christmas or if it makes everyone in your home sad..it just happens whenever it wants to.....For us the timing on this just stinks!!It's the Happy Holiday season!! Is there ever a good time for this???

I've been keeping so busy almost afraid to stop because the "sad" will catch up with me.
Unfortunately it's almost like an automatic response when things get still the tears always fall.

I am Thankful that we've gone almost eight months without a surgery....We've had time just to be together.

But now the questions and fears are in all of our hearts and once again we will move forward with blind faith trusting that God will be there to get us through.

Olivia and Anna (Two MN Chiari friends) will be having surgery Monday and Tuesday please send some prayers their way.

If I could ask another favor...Abi has her own E-mail now and she checks it 20 times a day just waiting for E-mails.
The problem is only two people know her E-mail address Elizabeth (BFF) and my Mom.
I know she could really use some cheering up right now so
if you could just send her a short hello! That would be great!!!! And sure to bring her a smile.

abirocks247@q.com

Thanks for checking in LOL

MY 5 things..

1.We had a pie fight after dinner in the kitchen ....It was so funny!!
It's that kind of stuff that keeps us together.

2.Making paper Christmas chains with the girls.

3."Kay" commercials you know how I love them!!

4.My Brother coming on Tuesday!

5.Prayer

Thursday, November 20, 2008 9:26 PM CST

I remember as a little girl I played a lot of Barbies with my friends..Oh sure we would have them go on dates and even kiss!

Finally we would fix their hair and dress them in the only wedding dress we had (that all the dolls kindly shared)..and off they would go to live Happily Ever After!

I think still to this day I wait for that Happy ending.
I don't really know why I'm shocked every time something goes wrong.
Maybe deep down inside I think we will go from our sinking boat to a glamorous yacht!

Maybe I should just YELL at myself and say "Wake UP!!" because this is how it is for us!!!

There is something that says Hang on....I just know God is there and there must be reasons for all this...But it just doesn't make it any easier.
It is just Heartbreaking.........

If you can't tell already Abi will be going into surgery because her spinal cord is once again a mess!
Best case scenario they will not have to go into the cord again worst case they will.
Either way it will be a big surgery for her.

They haven't given a date yet all we know is it will be after Thanksgiving and before Christmas.
He said He would get us in as soon as he could.

We are heading back to neurosurgery tomorrow because in all the excitement they forgot to reprogram her shunt??

Abi had a very long day..lets just say the no sedation did not set very well with her and the MRI experience.
They also did do a shunt tap today (when they put a needle in her head and take fluid out of the shunt) and it really didn't do anything but cause her to have headaches tonight. I'm sure she will be resting at home tomorrow.

That is all I have...Thank you for coming by and I appreciate all the kind words....Take care and have a safe weekend.

LOL Tracie

Wednesday, November 19, 2008 10:07 PM CST

I always wait for the balloons to fall and the confetti
to shoot out every time Abi goes into the MRI machine!

"This is your 100th MRI" Yea !!!! Get the party hats and cake!

Sorry that sounded sarcastic didn't it..No wonder I haven't had any messages today.

It's just the stress of the test alone then the findings..It drives me crazy!!

People have asked me what I think it will show...The only thing I can say is I'm not a BIG believer of the "Turning down the shunt miracle" I'm thinking if the cyst was starting to form again there is obviously a problem and I don't think turning the shunt down will fix that!

I hope I'm wrong!! I hope I can journal tomorrow night saying I'm not the Doctor I think I am.

Thanks again for checking on us....With Gods help we are standing strong.

With faith the size of a seed I can move mountains.......

LOL Tracie

Tuesday, November 18, 2008 8:40 PM CST

Thank you so much for your prayers and support...It means so much.

The funeral went as funerals usually go "Sad".
Hard to believe I will not see her again...Here that is.

The girls did really well,Matti was pretty emotional from the start but when your in that atmosphere it's hard to hold it together.

Moving right along now we have the MRI to look forward to.
This will be our first time trying it without sedation?????
She will take a large dose of Valium and see if she can get through it. The sedation is just really hard on her so we decided to try a new way.

Funny how they always plan these right before Holidays! I really hope this Thanksgiving I will be able to say "I'm Thankful for No surgeries!"

I really hope that is the case...But as we know things don't always go how we want them to...It is what it is.

If the syrinx is worse I want Him to operate because I don't want serious permanent damage for Abi.

I guess Thursday we will see...We see Dr.Partington the same day so that's good (I think).
I think I'll just hold my breath until Thursday Night.

Good news is Alison is doing better (Dr. P's patient).... Bad news Olivia (The family we met at Faith's Lodge)just found out she has a serious shunt infection.....Anna(Chiarian) is getting ready for a Thanksgiving Surgery.......seems like when your involved in this "Club" It is such a Roller coaster nightmare. Please send some prayers their way.

Thanks again for your continued support and Love.....I'm so glad you've stuck around!

LOL Tracie

Sunday, November 16, 2008 10:04 PM CST

This week is kind of a tough one for me.....

I have my Aunts funeral on Tuesday.

Abi's MRI on Thursday that will decide if we go back into surgery before Christmas.

I'm also Trying to get things ready for my Brother and his two kids coming to visit for Thanksgiving.

I know you don't have to say it "One day at a time".

Abi seems to be getting over her cold but her hand rashes have been really painful.

Matti woke up this morning and her face was red and swollen??
It pretty much stayed that way all day???? I'm curious to see what it will be like tomorrow.

Kaydee had a nice Birthday it was a weekend long celebration..Friday we even colored all our hair with purple,Pink and blue spray we even did Lola's.

For those of you who may of wondered why Max isn't mentioned anymore.... He is now with a new Family.

It was such a generous gift and we really loved him but it was just too much.

If you are like me around this time of year you kind of have to step back and breathe. The Christmas commercials
are starting and the music and the 300000 magazines you receive in the mail. The kids yelling at the TV "I WANT THAT!"
I do like the lights,decorations and the Christmas story.. especially the part about how Joseph let Mary ride the Donkey and He walked..How sweet is that...except He should of planned ahead and made a reservation so Mary didn't have to give birth in the barn....It all worked out in the end.

Well Thanks for stopping by looks like we have an interesting week ahead....Leave me a note to say Hi!!

Prayers going out....LOL....Tracie

Thursday, November 13, 2008 9:22 PM CST

Not sure why people always say "She lost her battle with ??"
In my Aunts case I feel like she has now finally won her battle.
She now has the Peace that she struggled so hard to have.
She will be missed by all of us..............

Abi still getting through a bad cold...she will be missing another day tomorrow. I have to have her well for the MRI next week.

I had signed up to volunteer for Kaydee's class field trip Tuesday and also Matti has a field trip that same day...can you guess when the funeral is?? Tuesday..

I try to volunteer but somehow it just never works out...Oh well!

Tomorrow I run to get cupcakes to bring to Kaydee's class for her Birthday celebration!! Her official Birthday is Saturday.
We are just going to get her favorite food(Honey BBQ wings) and have some family fun together.
Sunday we are off to Paul's parents for more celebrating.

Doesn't seem like the Fall has been to great defiantly some ups and downs......I'm just really trying to keep a positive focus and keep going.

Thank you for all your prayers for EV I know she felt them.

LOL..Have a nice weekend.....Tracie

Wednesday, November 12, 2008 9:34 PM CST

Hi there....

Today Abi stayed home her cold is back in full force.
We did have dentist Appointments for her and Matti at 2:00 and I could not cancel again...So I gave Abi medicine and off we all went.

The turnout was great for Abi "no cavities" and I have to say I was shocked ..I even gave her the pre-visit speech about how she is at the age when she is bound to have some cavities! Guess not...

Matti wasn't so lucky she had one in her back molar...she took it so personal like she had failed somehow.
Ever since her "Class Clean Teeth Talk" in first grade she takes dental hygiene very serious.

She cried and just felt terrible...Later she asked me in a most serious voice "Does this mean I have Tooth Decay?"
I tried really hard not to laugh but it was so cute.

She was probably still a little traumatized from my earlier mishap........She forgot her boots and snow pants at home this morning and knowing she would not be able to play outside without them I promised I'd bring them back when I was picking up Kaydee.

On entering the school a little classmate of hers informed me that Matti was waiting by the classroom door for me!

I got there as the kids were suiting up and as I pulled the boots out to help put them on..........I realized they were not a set but two different boots????? Luckily there was a left and a right boot......She agreed to wear them but as I left I could hear her explaining the mistake that "MY MOM" made.
There goes my Mother of the Year award!!

The other girls have been showing signs of colds especially Matti and normally that would stress me out but not anymore....I've decided to let the Kleenex fall where they may...It is what it is and stressing out about it won't help it go away.

Tomorrow I go to Childrens Hospital because (get this) they want me on a council!!!!! I actually get to say my opinions and they may actually be heard.....One step closer to finishing my doctor degree...ha ha..

Take care everyone and Thanks for stopping in.

LOL Tracie

Tuesday, November 11, 2008 10:10 PM CST

Went to Gillette for our usual PT appointment...Abi wasn't feeling that great so I was curious how the morning workout would go.

Since we were there so early Abi played on the computer and I went to check on another "Dr. Partington Family" that have been in the hospital a while.
Walking in to Alison's room with her Mom was a heartbreaking ever so close to home feeling.

There she laid wash cloth on her head in such pain that she could only get out small cries...I left there shaking my head knowing that this is so not right! I can't tell you how that feels when your the one having to sit and watch your child go through that...Please send Alison and her Family some prayers.

PT went pretty well they taped Abi so when her neck starts to slump forward the tape pulls and helps her hold it up.
She just doesn't have the strength and so this was suppose to be our "Answer"...........We were home 20 minutes and the super duper sport tape that the Olympic athletes use
came off!!!!NICE!!!!

Abi was pretty discouraged having sat there forever while it was put on.
It doesn't help that she is feeling sick again and coming down with a cold.
We had a week!!!!! Last week no one was sick!!!!That is one for our team and the way this Fall is going I will smile about a week!

THE GREAT NEWS IS....................

I went to School tonight for conferences and all three girls couldn't be doing better!!! The Teachers had really nothing but good things to say....I can't remember a time when I have felt more proud.
I have left School conferences in tears in the past mainly because Abi wasn't going but tonight I would of done Cartwheels if it wasn't so icy!!

Abi has this great support system this year ...... Matti has Mrs. Wyatt and if you know her that says it all ....Kaydee has a couple getting back in the swing of things issues but her Teacher has really been great too....
I must say It felt good to feel good!

Kaydee (My little baby,my youngest) will be turning "6" on Saturday how sad is that..I mean Happy! No I mean sad...

MY 5 Things I'm so Grateful for..
1.MY girls and how incredible they are!
2.Knowing that even though life throws so many hardball's
you still have things to dance about now and then.
3. PJ and her constant care and love for our Family.
4.The Moms Club..Bravest group of Women I know!
5.My Brother and His kids are coming from Florida to visit for Thanksgiving!!

Thanks for coming LOL............Tracie

Sunday, November 9, 2008 9:46 PM CST

My Auntie Ev is one of the most amazing women I have ever known.
She is a true testament that with God you can do the impossible.
She woke up every day and knew it would require some type of medical torture whether it be her continuous dialysis treatments or her constant painful infections.

Still she woke up and she put one foot in front of the other and she lived and fought the fight knowing all the time that everyday was not going to be an easy road.

She now lays in a hospital bed and the fight that she fought so gracefully is coming to an end.
It is not a situation of Hope because there is none but there is hope that soon her body will have some peace.

So I only hope that on those times when I'm feeling so defeated I just take a minute and think of her.

The girls seem to be somewhat healthy for now..Kaydee seems to be coming down with something again but hopefully it will pass.
Abi has had some issues but has been doing pretty well.

It seems we can't even keep our appliances well around here either....This weekend our microwave decided it was tired and was done! Now this doesn't sound like a huge deal But I've found out the hard way the many reasons I have a Microwave...........The main one being Abi's heat packs ,Abi's morning coffee(Hot chocolate),Microwave vegetables,Pancakes...............Each one of you should hug your microwave and let it know how much it means to you......Because when it's done it is done...ha ha

Oh I almost forgot Lola and I got attacked by a dog...A Big
Bulldogish type of dog comes running at us with his owner chasing behind...as the dog is getting closer to us I'm yelling will he bite???? With no time for an answer the dog jumps Lola enough to make her yelp!
So I kicked the dog off and picked up Lola and Thank goodness by that time the! owner grabbed him.

The goofy part is the owner said "I'm so sorry" and guess what I say "That's Okay".
That's okay!!!!!!! Sometimes I need to be a little less nice..I have it in me just ask my Husband.

PT seems to be going good for both girls but to tell the truth I really don't see either of them improving a whole lot. I think we were told six appointments for Matti (now we are booked into Jan.)
They weren't even sure if Abi's would help?? I think it gives her a sense of accomplishment so that is worth the drive out there.

I think I will stop now..you are probably asleep!

If you could please keep all my Family in your prayers during this tough time I would really appreciate it.

Prayers going out ......

Thanks for checking in.

LOL Tracie

Wednesday, November 5, 2008 6:15 AM CST

Kind of makes you feel all grown up to be able to vote for a President.

Glad that is over maybe we can all watch TV now without hitting the mute button because of the political adds!

Things are moving along same,same,same......

Kaydee still struggles with Kindergarten and cries everyday she is in there.
Her Teacher is being great and helping her out a lot...Hopefully this will pass.

Abi is charging onward as always and still visiting the nurse at school but being the strong little girl she is she stays and loves school.
PT is going well Thursday they may tape her just like they do for the Olympic athletes.. Abi thinks it will be cool, I think it will be uncomfortable.

Matti is really enjoying school this year..has been having mild headaches but doing pretty well.

Thanks for coming by I think I will go drink coffee now!

Hugs and prayers to all....

Tracie

Tuesday, November 4, 2008 8:13 AM CST

GET OUT AND VOTE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOL Tracie

Sunday, November 2, 2008 8:28 PM CST

Hi everyone.........

Halloween was a success...... we will be having peanut butter cups for breakfast,Snickers for lunch and Hot Tamales with a side of Tootsie rolls for Dinner!

The girls had a great time and we loved the fact that it was on a Friday so everyone could rest after wards.

Things seem to be going pretty Okay!!

Abi has her bad rashes on her hands again and that can be pretty painful for her.

She has PT again tomorrow I really like her Therapist...Matti has a great one too!
The hard part is making sure both girls do their daily exercises.

I've really had to do some self-talk this weekend because as you know the world right now can be a bit overwhelming.
If I look too far ahead it really scares me!

The thing to remember is we do not have control and thank goodness we don't because I would totally mess it up!

We were at a fountain this weekend you know the ones you make a wish on and throw a coin.
The girls were so serious as they closed their eyes and tossed the coin , you could see it on their faces that they knew and believed that their wish would come true.....

That is how I want to feel when I toss my worries to God I want to know and believe.
I think we are just human and it just takes a little practice but sometimes it is really all you've got to hold on to when the ground around you seems to crumble.

Life is so short to have worries...........

That is it for now Thanks for coming by as usual I love having you here.

Prayers going out to Jen's Dad fighting cancer,Micheal,Traci,Olivia
Mark,Cristina,Gavin,Kira,Braydon,Jodi,Alison,Anna,Moms club
Chiari Family,So many more

Friday, October 31, 2008 6:17 AM CDT

HAPPY HALLOWEEN !!!!

Hope everyone gets lots of treats.....

LOL

Wednesday, October 29, 2008 10:18 PM CDT

Hi....

Well let me see.......I dropped the girls off at school (all three) then had 30 minutes to get a stool sample to Childrens Hospital................After rushing to do that I got home only to have a message that they forgot to give me one of the containers so They need another sample!!!
I received two calls from Doctors one from Dr.B on Kaydee and that was just to say we know there is something but the elevated blood tests don't really tell us what?
He will wait until all the test results come in and then we will go from there.

I called Neurosurgery today and left messages on every number I had!
They called me back (WOW it felt like I won the lottery)
But what they had to say was like hearing that noise that Charlie Browns teacher makes.
I ended up saying well I guess we will just wait and see if it gets worse.
I did make them promise that if we make it to the MRI in November and the syrinx is still there and growing they will step in and do surgery!! Look at me begging for surgery.

I basically told her on the phone that Abi is slowly going downhill and I feel the shunt is not working!
It could be many things so just keep in touch! That's how the call ended....Now you see why I hesitate to call.

By the time I got Home I was breathing fire like a Big Ugly dragon!
I can't believe the girls always say they miss me when they are at school..you'd think they would appreciate the separation....I'm surprised Paul doesn't have a night job!

I wish I could say "This to shall pass" It won't, I'd be willing to bet the farm if I had one.

Yes,Yes I will keep going but ya know what I don't always have to be happy about this situation...It is endless!!!!

Take Care and say Big Prayers for Chiari Families the stuff they have to deal with ..Yikes!

Lots of other prayers going out there too!

LOL Tracie

Tuesday, October 28, 2008 9:57 PM CDT

Is it okay to feel frustration and be Thankful for the things you have?
Tonight I am frustrated!

Kaydee went to see Dr.B today and Thank Goodness he took her stomach issues seriously. He ordered several blood tests,stool tests,urine..He is being very thorough.

The blood tests showed several elevations her white blood cells,CRP and a couple more..all those point to something going on that her body is trying to fight.

We are waiting on the other stuff to come back.

I just feel like why another "Mystery" health condition???
We searched so long to find out what was wrong with Matti and then Abi..Please just tell me we will not be doing the same with kaydee.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Abi went to school today and had to go to the nurse because she started feeling really dizzy and light headed.

She asked me why I don't call the Doctor?? I really couldn't answer because I just feel like why should I ...
What would they say??? That is if they even return my call.

I'll sleep on it..I know she is getting worse..not sure what I'm waiting for.
You really have to be in this situation to understand.

Thursday she has therapy hopefully they will notice a change.

I'm going to try sending Kaydee to school again tomorrow.
Every time I talk about it little tears come rolling down her cheeks.
I know she doesn't feel well but I want her to try to go because this "mystery" may take a while before we figure it out.

Hopefully we can have a festive Halloween....

Thanks for checking in and don't worry things will get brighter!!! Or I'll just fake it.

LOL and prayers

Tracie

(Better get the Super Hero cape out!)

Monday, October 27, 2008 10:02 PM CDT

I decided to send Kaydee today since she seemed okay she mentioned having a little stomach ache but was willing to go.

The tears rolled down her cheeks several times while she was getting ready but I assured her she could do this and everything would be okay.

I took a little white ribbon and tied it around her wrist and told her when she looks at it she can remember that she will be okay and that I love her very much.

I guess as the day progressed at school her little ribbon came untied and she asked to have it re-tied but instead was directed to put it in her back-pack.
Being upset by that and still not feeling well she ended up throwing up in her classroom.

I of course was called to come and get her.

I called Dr. B the minute I got in the door because I'm so tired of her feeling bad...Something has to be checked or done about this stomach thing...the good news is He agreed and we will see Him tomorrow at 12:45. He plans to run some tests.

Abi stayed home today because she didn't feel good and Abi never asks to stay home so when she did I knew she needed to.
While taking the girls to school she almost threw up in the car. She ended up taking some deep breaths and worked it out and spent most the day laying down.

I didn't call anyone on her because I'm not sure who to call!
I guess if it is her shunt and it's failing they want her to get really bad before they do something.

There is good news Matti came running from Grandma/Grandpa's
Van with a note in one hand. "I got a part in the school concert!!!" she was so excited to be able to be part of the kids that get to stand out front to do special things.

Funny how time changes things...Last year she was afraid to stand on stage and sing at all!! Now she wants to perform out front!YEA Her!!!

I told my mom today that all I can do with all this is just wake up do what I need to and move forward.
I can't think that everyday will be like this...so the key is to not look ahead.

I told God on my walk tonight that no matter how tough things get I will do my part and March onward.....But He has to do His part too!! (That is so like me...I'm being bossy to God).

Have a nice day......March On-ward!!!

LOL Tracie

Sunday, October 26, 2008 10:09 PM CDT

All the outings we had on the calendar didn't happen this weekend.
Kaydee wasn't doing very well bad cough...she does however seem to be a little better today.

I'm so torn and wish I had a "Mothers Manual" do I send her to school tomorrow???? Now that she is doing a little better will returning make her worse???I will probably try unless she has a really bad night.

Abi woke up on Saturday not feeling well again and also having a bad case of pink-eye!
I know what you are thinking...Why are those kids always sick?
I wish I had an answer..but I don't!

Matti is holding her own and seems to be (knock on wood) healthy!

We did however load up the car and go get pumpkins..if we didn't do fun because someone was sick we would miss every Holiday!
The kids carved them today and we all had a really good time.

This week we have lots of therapy for Abi and Matti both..then throw in dentist appointments it sounds like a fun week.

Had to get the hats and gloves out and ready seems like Fall has finally arrived..I was hoping for 70's on Halloween.

It is really nights like this when the weather seems cold and lonely that I am so grateful for a roof over our heads and warm blankets and the girls going to bed knowing they are safe and loved.
There are so many families losing their homes.
I thank God so much that we have ours.

Seems so many people are dealing with "Stuff" right now I want you to know you are in our prayers. It is so nice to know that God can be in so many places at once.

Thank you for stopping by and if anyone finds a "Mothers Manual" please let me know.

LOL Tracie

Thursday, October 23, 2008 9:23 PM CDT

Today was a long one and very emotional for me.....

Sometimes you have to face things in life that are not so easy or pleasant.
Even though a decision can be the right way to turn it still hurts to get through it.

Once again it proves life isn't easy ..but we do the best we can don't we.

Kaydee is still not well she sounds like a very sick seal.
She is getting so worn out from being sick this long.
But I'm waiting just like the Dr told me to! I must be off my game....Hopefully waiting won't make us do an ER run this weekend.

Looks like it will not be a big family weekend for us.....as usual some will go some will stay...we really wanted to go to High School musical Saturday and then we wanted to go get pumpkins.

Abi has been to the nurse everyday this week..I can only hope this isn't a new pattern for her.

Sorry I'm just kind of BLAH....It happens......This to shall pass.
I will make sure I have a couple of smiles this weekend though!

Take care and stay safe.........Talk to you Sunday night.

LOL Tracie

MY 5
1.Fancy candy from my Grandmother.
2.Family
3.Friends
4.This to shall pass
5.Faith

Wednesday, October 22, 2008 10:07 PM CDT

Seems most the time I try so hard to keep everything together...sometimes I succeed and sometimes I seem to make things worse!

I have so many days when I just feel swallowed ..a feeling that I couldn't possibly dig myself out of any of this.

Then sometimes I'm still buried but somehow God helps me to be okay with it and to just enjoy the day.

I finally heard about Abi's MRI date..It will be Nov.20th.
I'll just be glad when it is over....she has been having headaches at school this week...But I'm thankful she is able to go.

Kaydee woke up this morning with Pink-eye (Yea Me)and her cough is still bad! It's hard just letting her feel this crummy without doing anything?????? I will give it one more day...If she's this bad I do not want to go into the weekend like this.

I did speak with the Principal of her school just to give her a heads up on whats going on....she has already missed so much school. She was very understanding and couldn't of been nicer.

I pray for some Peace this Fall.....Just a little it's not like I'm asking for a month......

Thanks for stopping in.....LOL Tracie

Tuesday, October 21, 2008 10:06 PM CDT

Kaydee still not doing good..Dr.B doesn't really want to do anything right now..just wait it out He said! Easy for him to say.
He said she is just one of those kids who doesn't handle the "start of school germs" very well.
I will give it until Thursday and if she is not better I'm bringing her in....Her cough is horrible! Plus she has a rash on her face.
I wish I trusted Doctors but it has been my experience to always question their advice.

Abi had her first "Audition" today for a skit they do in school for the different programs. ...she was so nervous and excited about it.
I hope she gets a part even if it's a little one.

I feel like I will never get this done..I keep running back and forth because Kaydee keeps having cough attacks and then she scares Abi so after I take care of the damage I sit down and start to type and it starts all over again.

The girls are getting excited about Saturday..we get to go with Hopekids and see" High school Musical 3".
Abi thinks it's worth it to have Chiari and brain stuff so she can do all this cool stuff! Me,not so sure??? even though Hopekids has given us a chance to do things as a Family again.

Max had a vet appointment today...He is doing great! Went from 7 pounds to 10 in just a couple weeks...Yikes!

Lots to be Thankful for...........
1.Having a Home.
2.Abi and matti continuing to do well.
3.All your wonderful messages...Thank You!
4.Paul
5.Knowing God has the drivers seat! See I'm not a control freak!

Prayers going out...LOL...Tracie

Tuesday, October 21, 2008 6:03 AM CDT

The girls did good at school yesterday...Abi went to the nurse once with a headaches and Matti said she did ok but still isn't feeling great!

Kaydee was up a lot last night moaning and coughing I felt so bad for her.
I could just tell her body hurts all over.
I'm kind of torn between calling Dr.B or just taking her in???
I'm thinking maybe they should really do a chest x-ray with her.

Believe it or not I really don't have anything else brilliant to say.
If you could leave me a note...Yesterday not one person signed the guest book?????????????
I don't think you know how much your messages brighten my day.

Have a good Tuesday and as always thank you for coming by!

Love ya
Tracie

Sunday, October 19, 2008 9:55 PM CDT

As far as my study went... we are probably going to be back in surgery in Nov. and so I would rather quit now so they can find a replacement.
Another reason is BECAUSE our wonderful Government has made it so I really can't make any recorded income. I would of made over six hundred dollars so It would of messed up a lot of benefits that we pretty much depend on!
So that pretty much sums that up! I'm left with no study and two holes in my head (we joke and say it is where my devil horns are growing in).

Looks like Abi and Matti will be going back to school tomorrow.(DON'T HOLD ME TO THAT BECAUSE ONE NIGHT CAN CHANGE EVERYTHING).
They are both on Antibiotics and seem to be doing Okay!
Matti ended up with strep on Friday and then woke up with Pink-eye on Sat.(double header)

I'm a little worried about Abi neurologically but they are usually good about watching her..plus she'll have her BFF Elizabeth by her side.

Poor Kaydee...........Wasn't bad enough she has this stomach/diarrhea stuff but now she has all the junk Abi and Matti had but worse!
She has such a bad chest cough.. it scares me when she's in bed because I'm afraid it will block her breathing.
She may be going into the clinic if she hasn't turned the corner by tomorrow.

Well as you can tell the weekend was a long one.....but we made the best of it!

I just honestly don't know what else I can do to keep these kids well???? I know their immune systems aren't great but
it seems every Fall we have to go through this.
I'm praying really really hard for good health and I'm cleaning to the best of my ability but it just doesn't seem to make a difference.

I want them in school and happy playing with friends and learning what they are suppose to...but it just doesn't seem like that is the plan for now! So for now I will ask for one day at school...then tomorrow I'll ask for another.

Thanks so much for checking in tonight...Don't worry I'm pretty sure you can't catch "Christopherson Germs" by going on this site.

Hopefully your little peanuts are healthy...Take care..LOL Tracie

Thursday, October 16, 2008 9:46 PM CDT

As you all can tell Jodi is back and sassy as ever!!! Thanks so much for keeping her in your prayers.

Woke up this morning with Matti crying because she was having trouble swallowing!
To make a long story short Dr.B stepped up and rescued us before the situation could get worse.

The other two really haven't had any change still the same.

It would be so much better for Abi and Matti to be home schooled...Seems this year is going to be a rough one germ wise.

Went to "Love from Minnesota" today for the first time and I must say it looked like Paul Bunyan's cabin exploded... I couldn't tell if I was hunting or shopping!

For the girls it's all about " Webkinz" stuffed animals right now....for some reason Love from MN is the best place to get them.

Looks like I will be dropping out of the ???? study because of several reasons.

Have a nice Friday everyone.....Love ya and talked to you Sunday Night...Hopefully I will have reports of healthy Girls.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008 9:33 PM CDT

I really don't believe that things have a certain way that they are suppose to be.
I don't think we are suppose to be Happy or suppose to be sad or children are suppose to be healthy......It is funny how the things that are suppose to be are usually good.

I think my life is suppose to be like this...I just haven't sorted out the "How Come" part yet??

During my appointment today (the one I can't talk about) I was fighting back tears.
Not sure if it was because of the pain (because let me tell you it hurt!!) or if it was because I just felt like this isn't where I'm "suppose" to be.

I think you can sit all day crying and saying why am I here.....But instead I feel the real triumph is to ask
Why Not!
I have learned that if you sit for long and feel battered then something else is going to come and then another until finally the pile is so big you couldn't ever possibly get up again.
Instead you kick it to the side not to avoid it or get away from it because that's not possible, but you just make enough room to keep walking..that is the key!!! You just keep walking.

The thing to is you don't treat people like you have a pile around your shoes, you don't ask for "Poor me's" or special treatments or hold a grudge you just smile and do what you can to be kind because who knows the people you meet or help could have a bigger pile around them then you!
And no'one knows better then someone with a "Pile" what it feels like.

Is this making any sense???? Sometimes I just think out loud.

Paul's probably on the phone right now calling me from work to see if I' Okay?? I think I am.

Thanks for coming by....

Update on the girls:
Kaydee still having diarrhea and pretty much feels like she's going to throw up a lot!

Matti has a bad sore throat and a rash.

Abi has been on meds. three days and she is still a mess!

LOL Tracie

Tuesday, October 14, 2008 8:57 PM CDT

Today was a busy one...I had an appointment for my ??????
and today involved a shaver,Rubbing alcohol and tape!
Not a great visit to say the least and I go back tomorrow again.

Abi is still sick and coughing so hard which in turns makes her head hurt....I hope tomorrow she turns the corner.
Called once again about the MRI that is suppose to be scheduled for Nov. but of course never heard back.

I refuse to be frustrated by them any more!! I think I'll just be angry instead! ha ha

Today was a day when I felt empowered!! Lately I've felt like the person on the curb that gets splash on by a passing car.
But today I felt good I felt plugged in.

My Mom was here to help with the Sick and so we decided to get some things organized .....She did the Art supplies cart and I tackled the kitchen counter and shelves.

It felt Good!!

I went up to school to get Abi's library book checked out and then picked up Kaydee's homework.
I pray by Monday the school is filled with Christopherson Girls.

Has anyone been in target lately??? I go to the back of the store and It's like someone threw up the Months of October through December!
They have Fall decor and then Halloween decorations (BOO)
Then It's Santa and Christmas lights!!!! It's a good thing I'm paying attention or I would not know what the heck to celebrate!

Attention: Wilshire Park Panda's........Rumor has it this is the LAST Halloween parade for the Elementary school.
This makes me very sad!! What ever happened to letting kids be kids???
This year at the parade I will be dressed as a person holding a sign that says "Save Our Childhood" "Save Our Parade".
I may be serious!!!!

Take Care...Your Visit means a lot to me!

Thank You God for this day............Please bring me another.

Monday, October 13, 2008 10:14 PM CDT

Well we went to the Doctor....Funny because I think the world of Dr B....But I hate going to see Doctors.

It always leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth!

Nicely enough He was more then happy to see both Abi and Kaydee.
Kaydee's stomach was bad this morning she was trying to throw up because it hurt so bad.
But He didn't want to run any tests he thought we should just wait this out could be just a bad virus?? But he mentioned I probably wouldn't send her back to school until this is done! I guess I just assumed Diarrhea and bad stomach pains for longer then a week should be tested?? Something!Once again i'm not the doctor I just play one.

Looks like Abi has a bad sinus infection so He put her on Antibiotics for 10 days.
Hopefully it will help her and then we can get back to the neurological issues at hand.
Luckily the school week is short so they won't miss too much.

I mentioned to Dr. B that He should give Dr.P a little call to say Hi!!And ask "What the Heck"??

I've come up with a plan to survive during the recession!!!
Top Ramen soup and grilled Peanut butter and Jelly sandwhiches!!!
We had planned to eat pizza tonight but the kit was spoiled so being close to payday it was between corn and pancakes or what I like to call "T. R.S & PB and J".

Don't spread it around though because the price of Ramen will go up..Shhhhhhhhhh..

Take care everyone and keep prayers going for Jodi she had to make a U turn after getting out of the Hospital..Prayers also for Cristina,Mark,Olivia,Traci,Anna,Alison,Braydon,Gavin,Michael,
Kira,Mrs.P family,Chiari gang,MCAD kids,so many more....

LOL Tracie

Sunday, October 12, 2008 9:37 PM CDT

The weekend was a slow one lots of tissue and pain relievers.
Matti seems to be doing a little better but Kaydee still is having stomach issues.

Abi is I hate to say still a mess..I decided to get her outside for a little walk tonight..not a good choice..she started sweating really bad and felt so dizzy Matti had to take the puppy so I could hold her???????

I'm going to try like heck to get her in to see Dr. B tomorrow!
Probably Kaydee too for a stool sample.

I just feel so much pressure to get them back in school ..Funny though because Abi's missed 3 years already .

Well life goes on doesn't it!

The girls are all a buzz about Christmas already..they are making lists and kaydee brought out her two favorite ornaments and said she got them out to put on the tree!

I mentioned to her that we need to get our pumpkins first.
(Which reminded me we haven't gotten our pumpkins yet).

I do like the seasons coming up Halloween,Thanksgiving,Christmas......Good feeling kind of stuff!!

Thank you for coming by..your love and support means everything to me (and Us).

In all these troubled times I hope you are all hanging in there.......

Love,
Tracie

Thursday, October 9, 2008 10:09 PM CDT

Well ..still didn't hear back from neurosurgery today! That's sad..they just have no idea what it is like.

Another busy day here..Abi stayed home and continues to keep getting more of a mess each day. She is just so sick with this cold.
Kaydee was all dressed for school and then at the last minute had some stomach/bathroom issues...so she stayed home.

Matti did go but came home tonight saying she really feels bad and her cold is getting worse.

PERFECT!!!

Sounds like a weekend shut-in to me.

I just now got Max calmed down ..He was so crazy and biting!If anyone is a "Dog trainer" please let me know..I need help!(I almost gave him Valium..ha ha)

Jodi continues to do well and her brother went home today!

Thank you for your prayers this week and have a weekend full of pretty leaves and warm sunshine.

Lots of Love...Tracie

Wednesday, October 8, 2008 9:41 PM CDT

Sometimes when you think down the road..it can be a little on the scary side..Part of me believes there are so many of Gods wondrous works ahead...part of me knows there will be so many struggles. At times I just feel I'm not up for the job.

Abi stayed home today and she was a mess! She has this bad cold and that was the good part.
She has such bad pain in her upper shoulders and arms..I ended up dusting off some old pain meds that we haven't used in a while.
I ended up calling Neurosurgery and I was anything but nice!

I'm angry that they turn her shunt up when anyone who knows Abi knows that is only buying time for them.
So in the mean time Abi suffers.
They said they would talk to Dr. P and get back to me tomorrow.

It's frustrating!

Matti went back to school and said she was alright but used a box of kleenex.
Kaydee also went back and did just fine.

I just want some Good news!! I'm scared every time I go to the mailbox...

I must say I went on a really long walk tonight and the sun was just starting to go down.
I remember the photographer that we met at Faith's Lodge talked a lot about the "God's Light".
It is when the light touches the trees and grass almost with a spiritual glow.
I witnessed that tonight it was on a hill at the cemetery and I couldn't stop looking at it. I guess that was my Good news for the day.

Thanks for stopping by...LOL Tracie

Tuesday, October 7, 2008 9:26 PM CDT

Seems like Abi is starting to go down hill a little!

She went to the Nurse today because of headaches and then she said she is having really bad shoulder pain.

If that wasn't enough tonight she was crying because she is having trouble feeling things with her Left hand.
I'm not one to FREAK OUT but when Abi is crying because she is worried!! I'm Worried!!Because Abi never worries about medical things (That much).

So Now comes that part of the game when you say Who should I call to get the most help???? I'll sleep on it.

The other two will be going back to school if I have to carry them there myself!! They are driving me nuts! I love them though but the two of them together sick is just too much!!

So since Abi will be home I am going to hopefully send them.
Abi's losing her voice too and has a lot of gunk in her throat. She needs some rest!

I guess tonight I'm feeling a little panicked and uneasy...

Some good news is Jodi and her Brother Nate are out of surgery and healing tonight...keep the prayers coming for them both. Thanks

Well take Care everybody that is all I've got for now.

LOL Tracie

Leave me a Note...PLease

Tuesday, October 7, 2008 5:37 AM CDT

Good Morning!
I am up early with the baby this morning (Max) so I thought since I was way too tired last night I will update now.

Today's events include:

Waiting until the kids wake up to see who is able to go to school.
Last night Abi was complaining that she felt really poopie(exact words). She was having a lot of arm pain too.

Physical Therapy called and we scheduled all her PT appointments....The bad thing is we drive all that way, pay for parking twice a week and the appointment lasts 30 minutes.
I will do it though because I'm a "Team" player.

Today I have my ?? study that I'm not suppose to talk about.
Let me just say this appointment involves plucking 155 times.
That's gotta hurt!
Supposedly this is the most painful part.Nothing like a good plucking to start your day!

I lit a candle for Jodi M. this morning who will be going in for her kidney transplant.
I just can't imaging being a Mom of three little kids and having something like that done.
I'm so used to being the Nurse/Doctor being the patient would be hard.
( Back ground on Jodi and I..We have known each other since I was about 20 something)
Please hold her and her Brother Nate in your prayers today.

The Girls and I were reading Daily word last night and it was mentioning how God has such Great things in store for us better then we can even imagine!! Somehow when I read that it makes me feel more prepared to face my day!

Keep your arms open!!!!

Prayers going out...Love Ya

Tracie

Sunday, October 5, 2008 9:43 PM CDT

Here we are together again........

The weekend was a family one and we just spent some time at home with just us.
Matti is coming down with a pretty wicked cold and kaydee is having some kind of stomach issue.

Abi is believe it or not coming out in front besides her usual "stuff".

I swear I'm going to send her to school in a helmet and gear if she keeps getting hurt on the play ground.
Last week...she fell backwards off a swing,Got her arm pinched in a swing,Got bumped into and knocked down,Got hit in the back of the head by someone else's swing. Wow!!!!

Life goes on.....I got a new sign to hang up in our kitchen the other day it reads " If everything appears to be going well,You've obviously overlooked something".

I've been very proud of myself lately.....I figure with the high cost of food I really need to bake more.
After all Baking is kind of like magic..a little this and then this and "WHAM" a Cake!!(I am a Super Hero remember)

The only part I don't like is the little instructions! And the fact that they make you use so many dishes!! Why not use the same Tsp. and cups for every ingredient?? No instead use a 1/2 for this then a 1/4 for this.....But I will stick with it...I've made Zucchini bread, Banana bread and Fudge so far there is no stopping me!

As expected "Marianne's" shop was amazing!! With the Holidays coming up I will be writing up a wish list of things I would like from there if any of you would like a copy..ha ha.
Maybe when I write my book "Stuck in crap and looking for a shovel" she will let me have my book signing there????

Well take care everyone....keep pushing onward!

Please send prayers to Jodi and her Family she has her Kidney transplant on Tuesday...Thanks

LOL Tracie

Friday, October 3, 2008 7:22 AM CDT

Have a Nice weekend everybody!!!

FYI...Don't forget

GRAND OPENING : "Marianne's" Gift shop (Marianne Richmond)
Sat. 4th from 9-5
3900 Stinson Blvd NE
Columbia Heights,MN
Talked to her yesterday and she is going to have "LOTS" of great stuff!!!!!!!

Also Keep those prayers coming for Jodi M who is having her Kidney Transplant on Tuesday (Please pray for her Brother too he is the Donor).

Thanks..LOL Tracie....Talk to you on Sunday night

Wednesday, October 1, 2008 10:00 PM CDT

Okay here's the deal....If I'm to be completely honest (Oh no).....
Life here at The Christopherson Ranch has just been rough!
I just can't seem to get my footing because things keep happening.
Usually when your drowning you have some sort of life raft to grab.....I can't find one!

Both girls had PT evaluations and both need therapy (of course).....Matti will need weekly PT for at least 6 weeks.

Abi is going to need a little more intense therapy so she will be going to Gillette twice a week for who knows how long.

The shape of her neck is so bad ....They don't know for sure if PT can help but we have to try!

Then with the looming chance that we will be back in surgery anyway.......Who knows.

The Car that we depend so badly on to get the Girls to all these appointments is smoking and is going to explode (Hopefully that is an exaggeration). But You can't just call an Auto dealer during a recession and ask for a "Free" Car!

Max is doing fine He's a Puppy but since my stress level is so high already it seems I freaked out and thought He had to go!! Thinking that would be the answer to all my turmoil!
The fact is we are all in love with him already and the rule is "Once you are in the Christopherson Family there is NO leaving".

A new twist!! Today getting some juice for Kaydee after school..I open the refrigerator and the Entire Door comes off!!!!
All I could do was say "Seriously!"

The freak thing is there is no part or anything to attach it back. Who's Refrigerator does that??? I.. in all my years have never heard of someone opening their fridge and the darn door falls off!!! Except in Funny Movies.

Then Kaydee comes home and reported to My Mom that she received a "Timeout" today in Kindergarten...She was pretty upset! I guess she was clicking (a noise she makes with her mouth) and then picked up a kid (Thank Goodness she didn't throw them).
I can already see her life of crime starting.

The funny part of all this (Not funny like ha ha) is tonight with all this rolling around on my Platter (I no longer have a plate it's now a platter) I'm Okay with it!!

Is that Trust?? I think so but I'm truly Alright!!

I read something tonight that said ..Our plans may not go the way we think they should..but that doesn't mean the route they take won't be Great!!
So I have decided I will wade through all this and hold out for the Great part!
I could so easily be beaten by all this...But I won't let that happen!! God has carried me too far and I refuse to stop trying and believing Now!!

So slap some super glue to my hands because I'm hanging on!!!

Thanks for listening ..........

LOL.....Tracie

Wednesday, October 1, 2008 12:18 AM CDT

Hi......We are going to make it work!!!

Have a good day

Tuesday, September 30, 2008 10:15 PM CDT

It makes me sad to write this but we are looking for a good home for "Max".(Picture above and in Photo album)
Lola and Max seem to not be a good fit and since she was here first we have to honor her wishes.

Max is 12 weeks old and has had 3 rounds of Vet visits and shots.(He went today and is very healthy and behaved like the charmer He is).

As for price I have to get enough to pay back the generous person who bought Him for us.

Please E-mail me if you are interested or tell people you know who might be looking.

He is a Cock-a-poo and does not shed at all.

Thanks

MY E-mail is

Pandt4@q.com

Monday, September 29, 2008 10:03 PM CDT

I guess I'm not suppose to share information about the "Hair Study" So let me just say today went fine...It involved two squares the size of a large stamp a shaver and a Tattoo artist!

Well once again Abi had a playground accident! Today she fell backwards off the swing!!
I asked her how it happened and she said all she knew was one minute she was on the swing and the next minute she was lying on her back.
Had a headache tonight and was feeling a little on the dizzy side but we will see if anything will come out of this.

Speaking of injury we were having a discussion with kaydee at the dinner table about Cylinders and various things (She brought it up and wanted to teach us all what she had learned at school today)..I walked to the door and got my leg caught on a cracked plastic container and made a big gash in it!!
Almost in a big "S" shape...It must stand for "STUPID".

Then we found out we only had little band-aids so Abi and Matti had to open at least 12 to cover it..ha ha
It just never gets boring here!

Max is doing well...very playful puppy that is for sure!
I'm so glad dogs grow old fast..I'm ready for Him to be 12 instead of 12 weeks!!
He is like a new born baby that bites and that you can yell at!

The girls are so excited about Halloween already!! It is a Holiday we all get into around here.
It's probably the fact that we can pretend to be someone else for a while!

FYI: Mark your calendars because this Saturday it is the GRAND Opening for Marianne Richmonds studio!!
Talk about a shop with some AMAZING gifts and things for yourself too! "Marianne's" gift shop 3900 Stinson Blvd NE, New Brighton
The Grand Opening is Saturday (Oct 4th) from 9-5 and it seems she is going to have great deals and some fun stuff!

Marianne is one of those people who has been there for our Family..and she still is....And actually by getting you to go to her Grand Opening I'm not doing her a favor I'm doing you one!! Her stuff is pretty incredible.CHECK IT OUT!!!!

Another FYI..A good Pal of Mine Jodi M. is going to have a Kidney Transplant on OCT 7th (She is the sassy one who always writes on my CB page) I figure if we start sending prayers her way now she will get a really good start!
She has been a good friend of mine for a long time and has 3 little kids and a great husband. Please send her some great support.

Thanks for being here.....Couldn't do it without you!

LOL Tracie

Sunday, September 28, 2008 10:04 PM CDT

Hi..

Tomorrow I drop the girls off and head off to a "Hair Study".
While that sounds easy enough I'm not sure that will be the case!
First I find out tomorrow if I even qualify then if I get to proceed it involves a head tattoo , Plucking 120 strands from each side of my head and using a shampoo that hasn't been tested for hair growth yet!!! Sounds like an adventure and that is just what I need right now....We will see??? As always you'll go on the experience with me.(It will last about 3 months)luckily I have pretty eyes in case my hair falls out!! ha ha

Abi has been doing alright more body aches then anything...We seem to be back into the bladder issues but that is all part of the syrinx package I guess.

Kaydee is getting a bad cold and was not feeling too good today....

As for me and where I am...I'm trying to exercise and do all that I can to get myself into a healthy place...I'm never real comfortable in the "Dumps".

I just have to keep telling myself that "God Is Here".
Sometimes I even have conversations with Him (Of course I do His part) He tells me to "Trust" that is always so hard when there is so much turmoil.

Thank you for your continued support .....LOL Tracie

Thursday, September 25, 2008 10:03 PM CDT

I'm just not sure how we can be right back in the same place we were???
I want so badly for my life to move forward but once again I go in reverse.

Dr. Partington said that Yes the syrinx was back in her spinal cord same area by the brain stem.
Once again He turned down the shunt and once again I left disappointed.

I have come too far and learned to much along the way to even have the slightest thought that by our next MRI the syrinx will be magically disappeared because we "TURNED DOWN THE SHUNT"!!!!

The bad thing is Abi gets to feel uncomfortable and walk around like that while we wait with false hopes that it will make a difference. I'm very sad and very disgusted.

I was outside sitting with the dogs tonight and I looked up at the bright star above me.....I just couldn't help but think God was there with me.
I asked Him to give me a little light a hope something that makes me feel better because right now I'm not feeling very low.
I'm always so good at making myself feel better about a situation but for now I feel like there are so many I'm not sure how to dig out of it all.

It just never stops.....It's the house,Health issues,Money,Health issues,health issues..........

If it's alright I just have to complain....sorry.

There is good news Dr.Berry at the U got Matti in for PT evaluation on Tuesday! I was happy about that!
Abi has her evaluation on Wednesday at Gillette.
Then the Fun will begin with weekly appointments for that.

I know this is how things are right now and I know I can get through it...But...When I sit here at night and re-live my day I can't yet see the sun that tomorrow will bring.

When I wake up tomorrow and open up the shades and see that God has in fact blessed me with another day I will take it and do my very best not to disappoint Him.

But by the end of the day when things are quiet and still sometimes I just wish there weren't so many tears.

Thank you for checking in....LOL

Wednesday, September 24, 2008 9:34 PM CDT

I guess we got those appointments out of the way...

Both had not so good results!

Matti has not gained any weight in an entire year!! Of course her doctor was a little concerned.
She also had some definite feet/leg issues so she is going to rush an order for a PT eval there at the U of M.
Since I wasn't there I'm not sure what tests she ordered as far as blood work but I do know it was three tubes full which is a lot more than usual.

Abi had a tough time with sedation she just cried and cried when they were putting her to sleep..almost like she was saying she has finally had enough!
I stood there holding her as she went limp and thought "This never gets easier". I hate it!

While in the waiting room I couldn't help but look out the window and wish for things to be better for her..for all of us. "This never gets easier".

I looked at the disk when I got home and sure enough I see a white cyst inside the spinal cord (syrinx) wish I didn't know what to look for but I do.
But until 10:30am tomorrow I'm going to stay in as much denial as possible until I hear otherwise.

Tonight I will pray for strength and guidance because for now that is really all I can do.

I will report tomorrow after we talk with Dr.Partington (Neurosurgeon).

Thanks for coming by and for your prayers.

Love ya Tracie

MY 5
1.Paul and My Mom being able to help out today.
2.Max and Lola playing together.
3.Knowing God is there for us.
4.Friends & Family
5.Your love and support.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008 9:55 PM CDT

This morning I was actually happy driving to pick up Kaydee from school...Not sure if it was because I was listening to "Copa Cabana" on the radio or if it was because I just got a new twelve pack of Diet Coke.

Anyway I was feeling good!

Tomorrows a new day and I'm trying not to feel worried about it even though I am.
How can you not be, even with all the Faith and trust in the world you just know that a bad MRI means surgery.

One Day at a time.....Don't look ahead!

My hope for Matti is that Dr.Berry can maybe get her in for therapy sooner. Wish i could be two places at once but I can't.
Matti is so brave now that she's "8" that she's agreed to do all the blood work there instead of waiting and making us go to Children's.

Baby Max has this barking issue and he wakes everybody up in the morning!! I've been reading all I can on it...I thought about Duct tape but not sure if it would get stuck in his fur!! Ha ha Just kidding.

Well tomorrow night at this time I will either be crying or wondering why she is having so many symptoms if the syrinx isn't back!!! We will see......Please send a couple prayers to Abi and Matti tomorrow they both have a tough day.

Thanks so much for your support and prayers...

LOL Tracie

Monday, September 22, 2008 10:02 PM CDT

You'd think after so many physicals before MRI's I could just do them.
I guess the good part is we get to see Dr.B.

I expressed the fact that I believed Abi's shunt is not working!
He made the comment that I always think that and she has yet to show an official "Shunt Malfunction".
I reminded Him that it is because every time we go into surgery the darn thing is snapped in half.

Here's the thing though..I know Abi better then I even know myself and when she is having issues she acts different and moves different and I know that is the case now.

Funny how we give birth to them and raise them tend to their every need but when it comes to a medical problem we are suppose to be clueless???? Whatever....I've gotten to where I have no patience for that.

Kaydee is upholding the Christopherson tradition of school absenteeism..she has had a sore throat and a temp of 101. so I kept her home today and maybe tomorrow too.
She really loves kindergarten so I know she doesn't want to miss it.

Matti is having pain in her feet and I can't wait to hear from PT for her evaluation. I think her Toe-walking issue is starting to cause her some issues.

We were so blessed to get our windows on Friday..I can't tell you what it means to be able to sit in the living room and look out my big picture window!!
Also The girls room just seems a little more healthy now that some of that mold is gone.
We still need windows in our room and kitchen but that will be a wish for another time.

No matter how I turn it up and around I'm just not looking forward to Wednesday (Abi's MRI)....I was so hoping to stay away from surgery this year....Maybe I'm completely off base and things will be fine.

For now I will breathe in and out and just enjoy and be grateful for the beautiful Window I've been blessed with.

That entire window thing was a major God intervention thing
I'm still not sure how that community thing worked out? I really don't care I'm just so happy it did!

I guess I should get Baby Max to bed (ha ha)

Take care and count your blessings..I bet you have more then you think!

LOL Tracie

MY 5
1. My new windows
2. Knowing God is probably taking so long getting us a car because He's adding extra features..ha ha
3.The new Bridge..we were able to get to Childrens in 6 minutes...Going across I did blow a kiss for all those who had to suffer there.
4.New shows tonight.
5.People who are always there.

Sunday, September 21, 2008 9:11 PM CDT

I never knew a small ball of fur could dictate when I get up when I go to bed and now I wake up in the middle of the night and feel like I'm suppose to go to the back door to go pee pee!
I swear Paul is going to find me outside one of these mornings sleeping with a dog chewy in my mouth.

Well this is the beginning of a "Fun Filled" week!

Monday I pick Abi up early from school and take her for a Pre-Op with Dr.B .
I told her He probably will not let her leave the clinic after seeing how off she is.
She has really been out in left field BIG time..she even told me she doesn't know what she's feeling but she can tell something is wrong.
Do I dare say "Shunt Malfunction"????

The bad thing is I hate sending her to School when she's feeling like that...I'm just afraid something will happen.

The Good news is we have our MRI on Wednesday and then an appointment with Neurosurgery on Thursday.
The BAD news is we have an MRI on Wednesday and then find out our destiny at Neurosurgery on Thursday!

MY Life Stinks!!! Just kidding

I've been really struggling with the idea of "medication"
I made the decision to get off my anti-anxiety med. and I'm not sure if I made the right choice???
I share this with you because I feel we are in this together and hopefully no'one will go "Tom Cruise" on me.

Since I've been off of it I feel like my life is a tad bit on the overwhelming side! Shocker!!
I guess when you are on a medication like that it makes you feel like you can almost handle your life so you feel strong enough to discontinue.

The problem I run into now is I have the same "Full" plate but it just seems heavier now and harder to carry.

I'm going to give it a little time.....then decide.

Matti will be going to Dr.Berry this week and of course it falls on the same day as Abi's MRI....I can't really cancel either appointments because they are hard to get!
I'm sure Matti's appointment will be lengthy because she has had such a busy 6 months health wise.
I will have to get reinforcements.

Have a nice day and grab some goodness!!!!

Thanks for being here..LOL Tracie

Wednesday, September 17, 2008 10:06 PM CDT

Had a good evening having dinner with Carole and a Spa night of getting my hair done by Lori! Thanks

I've decided to leave my natural color behind (Blond) and go brunette.Ha ha
I just needed a change a little boost!!

I spent the entire time in the school parking lot this afternoon setting up Abi's MRI and pre-op appointment.
Looks like her MRI will be on Wednesday and then we will see Partington on Thursday.
They have us driving as far as possible for both appointments...but I guess when you need them you take it when and where you can.

I've been so stressed lately I can't even hide it.
I'm trying to work through it and take each day in little parts.
I think the answer for me is to just keep moving forward and pray and pray and pray.

The problem with my particular "Plate" is there is really not a lot that ever comes off.
Seems like I add more then I delete.

I'm just going to keep smiling! Bring IT ON!!!

Our friend Olivia had surgery today please send some prayers her way!

Also My Great Aunt is improving thank you for your prayers for her.

Also sending some to Mark,Michael,Kira,Cristina,Gavin,Alison,Anna,Braydon,and many more.

LOL Goodnight

Monday, September 15, 2008 9:04 PM CDT

It went really well Today at the Edina Country club.
May I say Pro golfer Tom Lehman is so nice and what a swing!

The girls really enjoyed talking with Him and some of the other golfers.
The really great news is they raised a lot of $$ for Hopekids
so I'm glad we could be part of it.

I guess an MRI is in Abi's immediate future..they will call tomorrow with the exact date.
I know we will be seeing Partington on Sept. 25th.
I really don't know if I need the appointment with Him just the MRI will be fine..Ha Ha

I couldn't help but wonder today standing on that amazing golf course What it would be like??
To have a lot of what these people have.
Would life be easier??
To me it seems as if it would be but maybe the grass just seems greener.

For now I will just be Blessed and Thankful for what I have.

Take Care everyone..LOL Tracie

Sunday, September 14, 2008 9:37 PM CDT

Hi everybody!
Good Monday to you!!!

Things are going fine here (not the "Fine" everyone says but doesn't mean)I mean things are fine!

Finally heard from N-surg and basically they had nothing to say as usual still trying to figure things out and what to do... so I had to pull out the crayons and my kindergarten mentality and Call and tell on them!!!
I called Dr. Wical (Abi's Neurologist) I informed her that Abi is having more and more symptoms that indicate that her syrinx is back which would mean that her shunt is not working!! HELLO!! I'm pretty sure when you have shunts in they are suppose to be working!!(Not that I really know of any that do work well).

I do know the hard way..when you enter an ER and say "I think my daughters shunt is not working", they rush you in even before a child that were to shallow an entire set of Leggos!! So why do they feel they can foo foo around this??

Maybe because they are professionals and feel they can?? I'm not sure!

On a lighter note tomorrow we have a Golf Tournament at the Edina Country Club that will help raise Money for HOPEKIDS!

We are located on one of the holes and Abi and Matti will be greeting the golfers and one of those will be the incredible Tom Lehman!!! We are going as a Family and are very excited!

My cold seems to be getting better! Boy that was no fun I must say...I probably caught it while I was in the Hospital with Matti.
Still have a cough but at least the body aches and sneezing is over!

The puppy is doing Great still working on the Training part lots of clean-ups but He seems to fit in at this crazy house pretty well!

My Great aunt "EV" is not doing very well and our family could use your prayers..she is in Critical condition.Thanks

Take Care and keep your Chins up!!! God has lots of Greatness in store!! Get your arms ready to Catch it.

LOL Tracie

Thursday, September 11, 2008 11:57 AM CDT

The girls were given a very generous gift on Monday and His name is Maxwell Todd Christopherson.
I can't tell you the Joy it brought into our home..lots of smiles and lots of work too!

Lola is still curious and wondering if the kid is staying??

I've been feeling a little rough around the edges..Abi got a cold the first week of school and decided to share it with me!

I was up last night crying because my body hurt so bad I had to ask Paul to stay home to take care of things..I just couldn't do it!
I know Moms usually don't get sick days but i had to take one.
(Now everyone take a moment and say Poor Tracie)

N-surg hasn't called me back and from what I can tell other families are yelling at them right now ,so I'm going to wait until next week so I can be ready and alert then i can yell at them too.
Yahoos!!
My friend Cathy is right..."Out of sight out of mind".

On a positive note what a perfect gloomy day to be sick!
Take care everyone and go home snuggle on the couch with some hot chocolate.

LOL Tracie Check out new photo album pictures

Monday, September 8, 2008 9:48 PM CDT

Today was a busy one with lots of medical calls..I told my Mom I needed a secretary and her comment was "I would do it but It probably wouldn't pay very well." ha ha

Got some info on Matti ..seems the MRI only showed a cyst on her brain!!!!WHAT!! But I've been told it is nothing to worry about and nothing needs to be done.
For some reason when I heard that i was a little uncomfortable.

She will need to get a PT evaluation and then probably some "Serial Casting" on both her legs.
So I'm waiting to get that appointment from Gillette.

Also she is now going to start seeing a Gastronologist for her stool issues....Busy busy Busy!

Now abi's bad hand rashes are back ..everyday It gets more and more clear that the syrinx is back!

I will be calling Dr.Partington once again to remind Him "We are here,waiting for you to do something".

Abi had appointments with Integrative medicine today and they went fine...BUT I think with all these PT appointments, that will have to be cut for now.

Kaydee came home today just Beaming about kindergarten...she loves it and can't get enough!

Now I'm asking God not only for a new car BUT a driver and a Nanny!! Too much??ha ha

Take care and Thanks....

Prayers going out to so many special people.

LOL Tracie

Sunday, September 7, 2008 10:51 PM CDT

I'm sorry not to report sooner...Matti ended up doing fine but since my request of giving her zofran (anti-nausea medication) after wards was not carried through she ended up throwing up like crazy.
That made our stay a little bit longer as you can guess and almost another overnight at the Big House.
Since she's been home she hasn't felt that great still a little pale and not up to par yet.

As far as I know there was nothing too alarming on the MRI we still are waiting to talk with Dr.B.

One of her stool tests came back showing white blood cells so she defiantly has something going on it will be Monday until we know what it is for sure.

I'm just feeling so sad right now ...going through all that with Matti just once again broke my heart.
Sometimes this stuff just gets to me.

Funny how at times I rise above it all and just float through then other times like now I just feel all in pieces.

We did get out today to the Hopekids festival at the U it was so nice they really did a good job with everything.
The kids got to do a lot of fun stuff.

Thank you for your kind thoughts and prayers .....Tracie

Friday, September 5, 2008 10:20 AM CDT

Well here I am reporting from the "Big House".

Last night here went pretty well..The SHOCKING part was they tried three times to get an IV in and I heard not one scream from Matti!!!
She was amazing because I was so ready to scream.

Finally they did get a vein that would work ..the problem was she was a little dehydrated (probably from her stool issues) and her veins roll I guess???

So this morning They took us down to Pre-op area to get her ready...I had to keep reminding myself that she isn't having surgery because with all this we are going through it sure seems that way.

They are going to have to use a breathing tube but I guess I should be used to those....Funny with each child it is so differant!

Matti seems so frail were Abi seems like her body can handle things easier.
The good thing but Bad I guess is that everyone knows us so well here so it is a little comforting.

The scan will take 2 hours and then they will keep her in post-op and then back to short stay.

Dr.B came by this morning to check on us...what a guy!

Hopefully everything goes well and we will be home by dinner....

Thank you for checking in..It feels good to know that.

LOL Tracie

Wednesday, September 3, 2008 10:01 PM CDT

Sitting here watching the convention the highlight of the entire thing was when Palin's young daughter licked her entire hand and wiped down her baby brothers hair!!
Now That's America!!!

I guess I can also rest easy tonight because Palin just promised that Parents of Children with special needs will have a friend in the White House..Wow what a relief, I'll be able to sleep tonight I'll tell ya!

Matti's Pre-op went pretty well..it was a lot to cover.
She has special IV fluids ordered that will start Thursday Evening when we check in at 6:00pm..basically her scan will be Friday morning at 8:30 and should take about 2 hours after she is sedated.
We will be staying most the day Friday until she is eating solids and drinking.

Matti is pretty worried and to be honest I'm feeling a little sick about it myself.
I've covered all the bases that I can think of so now I know I've done all I can do.
Dr B also ordered some stool testing, this morning she woke up with a lot of mucus again. He ordered it to be tested for Fat deposits,White blood cells and Just a basic sample.
Sounds like a busy two days for little Matti.

Finally heard from Abi's N-surg group and Dr. Partington is thinking about what to do as far as MRI or do surgery and put in a monitor??? He will make a decision and let me know...soon I hope!

As always I'm asking for your Prayers....to face whatever comes ....And some prayers to keep Matti safe during her procedure.

I know MRI's are a simple thing..Abi's been through 150 but for Matti it is a whole different ballgame.

Thank you for being here...Leave a note!

Prayers going out !!!! LOL Tracie

Tuesday, September 2, 2008 9:19 PM CDT

School seemed to go pretty well...Of course I was a mess but the kids seemed to do fine.

I really don't have too much time before I pick up Kaydee..she is only there a little over two hours.
She seemed to really like Kindergarten....

Tomorrow Matti goes for her pre-op appointment with Dr. B
I'm still nervous that all the people involved with this MRI
aren't on the same page and we really need to be!

I'm just really nervous about what this MRI might show.

Better to find out it seems denial doesn't really work!

Hopefully tomorrow morning will go a little smoother I'm going to get my ducks in a row before bed so maybe they will stay that way.

It does seem we are once again blessed with good Teachers!

Thanks for stopping by..sorry this is short but I'm exhausted!!

Monday, September 1, 2008 10:07 PM CDT

The girls went to bed feeling very anxious!
I sit here feeling very anxious!! First day of school is tomorrow.

It feels almost like the horse races just before the race gate opens.

Matti has double worries she is nervous about school but her main worry is the MRI on Friday.
She asked me today.... if they see on the MRI why her legs don't work right will they keep her at the hospital and not let her go home??
I told her not to worry too much she will be with me and MRI's are my area of expertise.

Kaydee is feeling a little worried but I hope will love it once she gets started learning stuff.

Abi I'm more worried about..she has been so off and it has to mean something ?? I just wish they would call with the MRI date I wanted it done yesterday! I just hope things aren't to overwhelming for her.

I'm just really a Freak of twirling information right now ..I feel so many things all at the same time.
I'm basically going to try and filter it all through slowly...One item at a time.

I guess concern wise I will feel better when the two MRI's hanging over our heads are done and over!!
Of course then you have the "What you find out" to deal with after that.

JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL!!!

Can't wait to be here tomorrow night letting you all know how everything goes on Day 1 of Kindergarten,Second grade and fifth.

I'm going to miss them that is for sure........Goodnight

LOL Tracie

Thursday, August 28, 2008 10:06 PM CDT

Our visit to school went well last night..very busy and of course like every year I feel like a scatter brain no matter how prepared I am.

The teachers seemed great and I think once we get all the "This and Thats" taken care of it should be a good year!

Abi's Special Ed person called today and it made me feel so much better about her situation..she has a plan and we will be able to really set Abi up for success.

As far as Matti goes I gave out her Medical Alert papers and told her teacher I would be in touch with the details.

Kaydee that's an easy one "Here's your Crayons and don't Boss the Teacher".

Having a little trouble with Matti's upcoming MRI....Now I guess she can't have the sedation (Profofal) that Abi has used a million times!!
Because of her Metabolic issues for some reason she can't use it.
Looks like we will be going the anesthesia route which I really wasn't wanting to do but I guess we have no choice.

To be honest I just want it over and done with!!

Still waiting for Abi's MRI information....I'm a really good wait type of person as you know.

No huge plans for the Holiday weekend...Going to try and have a date with my Husband on Saturday but I won't write it in stone.

So as for now my plans are to hold things together..pray a lot and just Enjoy another day in paradise!!

Take care and Dream BIG!!!!!LOL Tracie

Wednesday, August 27, 2008 9:28 PM CDT

What is the age when you start to question things that happen to you?

It is so great to watch children and the way their mind goes to endless places of imagination.
They can take a simple thing and create something wonderful that we as adults probably break down in our own minds into something that couldn't possibly be true or something that couldn't be even possible by adult standards.

A Child takes a small rock and creates a castle in their mind.......As adults it seems we see a rock that will get in our shoe and possibly cause a foot injury.

I've always believed in the impossible like the time we sent in our "Extreme Home makeover" video and after about a week every car that came down our street I just knew it was the production people coming to check out our Home secretly!

Or the time a Brand new Car sat in front of our house and for a week I thought maybe someone had bought it for us!

I hold this little light in my heart and at times it may not be as strong as others but it is my Hope!
Hope for Good things and magical things...Things that can on the surface seem impossible.

I'm not saying this to feel sorry for myself but my life has a lot of knock downs so when I find something that I can fall asleep thinking about with a smile on my face at night I hold on to it..Maybe things that I dream about don't come true but it's the moment that I reach up and
entertain the thought that "What IF" that makes it all worth it.

God tells us to expect Greatness so why don't we???

LOL Tracie

Tuesday, August 26, 2008 9:47 PM CDT

Today I decided we all needed some fresh air so we went and got our 1$ Hamburger Happy meal (I got a star Wars Bobble head car thing) then we went to the girl's school and played on the playground for a little while.
Our trip had to end a little short because I forgot the Sunscreen and Abi's scars were just baking in the sun!

I found out today that people do actually read this!
I was very touched by all the sweet comments I can't tell you what it means to know we have people watching out for us....I guess that's what "Angels here on earth" means..Thank You.

I sat down today and looked over all the school papers...Wow
I haven't read that much since I don't know when.

Then I got out the black permanent marker and we got to work labeling things...While going through it all we realized we needed Napkins for Kaydee's class and some ruler protractor thing for Abi.
So off to the store we went once again for another darn school item!!

Tomorrow it's off to see Lori to get Matti/Kaydee's hair cuts then we go up to school around 4:00 to fill up desks and meet Teachers.
I already know Kaydee's because Abi had her too.
I remember several times she came up to the hospital we really like her.

Instead of expecting a year of challenges I'm expecting an amazing school year!!
If you expect disaster you get a flood..expect greatness you get a rainbow!(I may get a Flood anyway but at least I tried).

Well again thank you for being here..I really need your support!

MY 5
1.ECOLAB Family
2.How I feel Joy and sadness about Kaydee starting school.
3.School supplies all ready to go.
4.YOU!!
5.Abi's Physical Therapy not starting until Oct 1st...It gives God more time to work on that New Car!! He doesn't like to be rushed.

Take care...Love Tracie

Monday, August 25, 2008 10:02 PM CDT

Today was a little calm for a Monday..Only one call to the Docs and that was just to let her Neurologist know that we stopped her new medicine.

I just don't think Abi is looking very well?? You can even see it from this photo of her at the Fair.
I guess we will see.....I will not throw the other shoe down myself but I will wait for it to drop....It always does!

Tomorrow we will be labeling school stuff and getting it ready to take to "Meet & Greet" on Wednesday..This year should be interesting not only do we have three classrooms to go to but they decided to have school pictures that night too!!Yikes(Whoever thought of that must not have school aged children..No offense).

We are skipping the Famous school Photos this year with the price hike and times X3 no way...

It is always fun to see the kids desks and meet the Teachers...I'm sure they all have heard about our Family and have been pre-warned.

Lori is going to do Matti and Kaydee's hair on Wednesday morning so I'm super excited about that she does such a great job..the girls are already talking about their Hairstyles they want..he he Matti's involves a Pink stripe!No way

Matti's getting a little nervous about her Overnight stay at Childrens she keeps asking Abi about MRI's and if they hurt....Hopefully the IV poke will be the only issue.

Still don't have a date for Abi's yet..Hopefully Partington's office
will get a move on!

That's it for now.....I really still find it hard to believe people read this..Sometimes I think my friend Carole just clicks on the site to make it look as if people are really stopping by..ha

Take Care and Have a Tuesday filled with cotton Candy and Foot long Corn dogs.....

My 5
1. All of us going out for some exercise tonight.
2. Friends
3. The Nice weather.
4. Knowing God brings me what I need.
5. Watching the cooking channel..It is amazing the things you can do with pancakes???

Love Ya Tracie

Sunday, August 24, 2008 9:24 PM CDT

I must say hand me a Broom and some crooked teeth because I have been a Witch all weekend!
I just feel so stressed out!!!!!!!

I keep thinking about Matti's up-coming MRI and wondering what that will show and if we can all handle another hard blow if in fact it's something bad.

Then there's Abi she cried for days while on her new medication so I decided to stop it! I just don't think that medication was a good fit at all.
Then wondering when they will call with her MRI date and what that will show???
She's been feeling a little loopy even off the new medication.

School School School..It is hard I know for all parents but starting a new year with new Teachers and new everything when you have two children with special needs ..for me it is very overwhelming.
I know everything will fall into place like it should But It'd hard to know if I've covered all my bases.

I can tell when my stress is getting the best of me because when I wake up in the morning I want to stay in bed and HIDE!
So this morning before I did get up I folded my hands and asked God to hang out with me through the day.
Now I know God doesn't leave my side but sometimes I need to ask Him to be there just to remind myself.

Today Matti asked Abi if it was alright for her to Ask God for a new car??? Abi said "Sure as long as you don't ask Him for Money!" ha ha ha Gotta love kids.

Take care and keep that boat sailing..I'm sure going to try!

MY 5
1.Playing Gestures and Hearing Matti's versions of words.
2.Abi not crying today.
3.Knowing I can be a witch and Lola will still sit by me.
4.Abi and I walking after dinner (Trying to get her legs stronger.)
5.No doctor appointments until later in the week...YEA

Prayers going out.....LOL

Tracie

Wednesday, August 20, 2008 9:13 PM CDT

Well Well Well.................

The appointment today was very enlightening.
I always leave after a visit with Dr. Wical (Abi's Nuerologist) feeling heard and like she was extremely thorough.
The bad news is she believes that Abi's syrinx is back!
It's one thing to believe it yourself but when a trained professional believes it somehow it seems more real!
Dr.Wical was sad to say if in fact it is back you know that will mean surgery!! I knew that already.

She also agreed with me that Abi is severly slumped over she needs some serious therapy and maybe even a brace.
I think God better hurry with that "Car miracle" since we will be driving back and forth to Gillette at least twice a week for several months. So if there's a car dealer out there reading this could we borrow a Nice new Car just for a while..ha ha we'll give it back "Promise".

As far as her headaches and over heating problem etc.. she will be starting a new medication(periacton)...we also will start using Valium three times a day for several issues.

Since they think the syrinx is back of course we have to get an MRI..Maybe I could get a two for one since Matti has one the first part of September.
What are the odds three kids two having MRI's in the same month..That's messed up for sure!!

I have been praying for God to show me what direction I need to go in.....So I have to believe this is what needs to be taken care of.
Can't just have Faith when it's convenient.

Kaydee and Matti are doing pretty well today!!

Thank you for checking in....LOL Tracie

Tuesday, August 19, 2008 10:05 PM CDT

Spent some time today at a friends house..It was nice to get out of the house for a little while.
The kids decorated cupcakes and had fun playing games.
I got to have adult conversation so everyone had fun.

As the evening progressed things went a little nuts as we know they can at the Christopherson house.

Abi and I went for a walk and I noticed again how she drags that right leg/foot...no wonder she is having on and off pain with that knee,foot etc...
I will be bringing that up tomorrow with the Neurologist along with other things.(Wish me luck)

Matti is finished with her medication so we will see what happens now?? She felt pretty bad tonight her body was achy and she had a bad headache.

After tucking Kaydee into bed she sat up and told me she needed water...I brought her some and then she proceeded to tell me she felt like throwing up.
Luckily she made it to the bathroom in time...I just kept thinking "Now What?"

Sometimes I just wonder If I welcome illness?? Maybe I bring it on myself if that's possible.

Just feeling a little on the overwhelmed side to say the least.

There I am on a nice sunny day paddling along in my little boat with both oars in the water. Suddenly with no rhyme or reason a bad storm comes and makes things a little out of control.
I stick with it tell myself "You can get through this" and get a little water in the boat but I make it.
After Thanking God for giving me strength and hoping that never happens again...

I dry my face and eat a sandwich and just about get the water out of my boat and pull out this months copy of "Medical Nightmares" and sure enough the clouds build up and now I'm once again in another storm but this one is worse then the last.

The really bad news is not only am I in a storm but now my boat has a hole and water is rushing in.
In the shear panic that I feel I try to find something to fix the hole but in doing that I knock one of my Oars in the water never to be found!

So I just made it through a storm ..now I'm in another one I've got a hole in my boat and only have one Oar!! All I set out to do was enjoy a sunny day.
Does this sound familiar??? IT'S MY LIFE..AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

LOL Tracie

Monday, August 18, 2008 9:04 PM CDT

Happy Birthday to our wonderful Daughter Matti ...."8th"

Every night I hug and kiss her I thank God that He left her here..Looking back there were so many episodes with her illness that she shouldn't be here..But she is,and for that we are so Thankful.
Not so sure what the road holds for her but I do know she's strong and creative she can do anything she puts her mind to.

She has the cutest laugh the type that makes you laugh too when your around.
Growing up she was the messiest eater I remember calling my Mom crying because I thought she would always throw food.
The good news is she doesn't do that anymore...ha ha

Happy Anniversary to my Husband Paul........"13th"

I have no idea how Paul and I have stayed together with all that we have been through in our life together but we have..

I think the key to our success is :

1. We have our Faith.
2. He's the good cop and I'm the bad one.
3. He is a rule follower and I'm a rule bender.
4. We kiss goodnight and Good Bye in the morning.
5. It's understood that I'm in charge!!
6. Growing up he always dreamed of being surrounded by Beautiful Girls and now He is...US!
7. He is an amazing Father..even when He's grumpy.
8. He doesn't like peeps so I get them all.
9. We always eat dinner together as a family...and believe
me when the kids were little it wasn't always a picnic.
10.I've always known no matter how tough and "I can do it on my own" I may seem it is so nice to know I can always always count on Him.

I love you Paul!!! Happy 13 years

Now down to business.......

I called Matti's specialist expecting her to give me wise medical advice....Not even close!
She said it is time to have Matti seen by a poop Doctor...that is not something I want to do..we've been there and done that when she was little.
I decided to wait this out I think why she has been worse is because of this medicine she is on to treat it.

We are done on Wed. so I will go from there when we finish.

This doctor stuff is so frustrating!! hate it.

Oh well there really is nothing like a good challenge!

MY 5
1.Matti
2.Paul
3.How in sickness and in health has stuck.
4.Wendy in Texas
5.Today Abi went and had her hair cut by Lori..It looks so great and she is so Happy..Thanks Lori!!!

Prayers going out ..Alison who had surgery at Gillette,Olivia,Gavin,Cristina,PJ,Jeff's Dad,CJ,
Mark,Kira,Anna,Traci,Braydon,Michael,Natalie,Hopekids Families,Chiari Family,MCAD Family,The Doctors and Nurses,Many More that are in my heart

LOL Tracie

Thanks for being here!!!

Sunday, August 17, 2008 10:10 PM CDT

Hi...Hope all of you had a nice weekend.

Our weekend was quiet.. Matti is not feeling very well and it only seems to be getting worse.

Seems the medication has stopped the going but the need is still there (If that makes sense).

Her face just shows it all..Eye's sunken and her face just looks washed out. We went to church and at one point she started crying because she just didn't feel good!

I must say I'm getting a little worried about her I just have no idea what is wrong???? I did call the On-call Metabolic Doctor on Friday just to make sure I was ready for the weekend.
I will for sure be calling back Monday.

Abi is doing pretty good just basically head and neck pain but it seems treatable with medicine.
We go talk to her Neurologist on Wednesday.

THOUGHT'S FOR THE NIGHT:

It is interesting How Humbling an experience like this can be.
We started out going at it alone and it didn't take us long before we realized we needed help.
Help is a hard thing to ask for....I was reminded today listening to the sermon that if we are to be honest everyone needs some kind of help.
Of course there are those who don't ask and then maybe those who ask too much...And many who have found out the hard way they need others.
No'one wants to admit that they failed or came up short..But in saying I need help in this way or that maybe that
is God's way of working through us?? I would think He wants us to be there for each other.

The message also focused on a Mother who had to go to great lengths to help her child... her faith was so strong she knew she could do it.
I believe My Faith is the only reason I am still standing today....

The good news is I was reminded that we can ask God for anything..why do we always feel we have to word it right???? Just Ask Him!!!!

Have a nice Monday (I'm asking God for one)

LOL sorry about the sermon...just had to share.

Tracie

Thursday, August 14, 2008 9:32 PM CDT

Another week and very few battle scars.

Matti's medicine is having no effect on her issues but we will give it time I guess.

Spent the day helping my Mom and just spending some time together...Us Girls always have a good time together.

Saturday we will be celebrating Matti's 8th birthday/Our 13th wedding anniversary...It's not officially until the 19th.
We are having Paul's parents over and my Mom keeping it small..A big friends party was not in the cards this year.
It will be a fun day since we will all be together!! I'm looking forward to it.

Kaydee officially has No front teeth!! She lost her second front tooth today at my Mom's.

There is nothing cuter then a toothless kid!

Today my head feels a little clearer and I feel a little more grounded..Seems like I fall a little down the ladder but then God reaches down and Pulls me right back up.

For That I'm truly Thankful......

Prayers going out to those dealing with "stuff"...

Have a weekend full Of Wonderfulness !!!! LOL Tracie

Meet you back here Sunday Night!

Wednesday, August 13, 2008 9:35 PM CDT

It is funny to me how with the world the way it is today we wonder why we feel in the "Dumps".

Everyday we hear about how food costs are going up and people are losing jobs... Many people are getting kicked out of their homes ...Even if we didn't think we were going to fail the word on the streets is We're going to!

I've been so consumed with "Worry" that I feel I've missed a lot of good that's been around me.

Abi asked me tonight if being a Mom is really hard?? My reply was "Being a Mother to you girls is easy and wonderful it's life that's the tough part."

After feeling so frazzled for days
It finally hit me .....God's got it under control!
What made me think that He didn't.

When I think back on every situation that we have come across in this journey that has looked pretty darn hopeless God has been there.
He doesn't ride in on a White horse with a satin cape singing
"Here I come to save the day!!"
But He does work through people,situations and He just basically simply takes care of it.

Abi always tells me that her therapist tells her to roll her worries in a ball and throw them up there and God will catch them.
I hope He's got lots of storage.

Dr. B called today to say Both tests were normal but he realizes that this situation is not normal.
He called a poop Doctor and the recommendation was to put Matti on a antibiotic for Intestinal infections?? Okay we will try it..If after a week there is no improvement we have to do a lot more testing.
Matti was happy to get the medicine she is really sick of this.
I also have to give her corn starch in yogurt at night (4Tbl spoons) it keeps her levels from dropping through the night.

Hopefully this will do the trick for her. I would really like her feeling good when we do the MRI.

I was reminded by an e-mail yesterday that God will never take our training wheels off...We never have to go on alone..How great is that to know!

Take Care...I'm so Thankful for so many wonderful people who are out there caring about us....We care about you too!

LOL Tracie

Monday, August 11, 2008 10:10 PM CDT

I have such a grateful heart and I know how blessed I am...But sometimes I just get down in the dumps.

Today was that kind of day for me.

Matti was feeling pretty rough this morning and so we were able to get a stool sample.
Hope this isn't too graphic but her sample was complete mucus.
That can't be normal??? from what I've read Mucus usually kicks in to help out the intestines kind of keeps it protected. (Don't quote me on that as you know I'm a Neurosurgeon).

DR. B has called to say it is not the illness that you get from too many antibiotics...so we now are waiting to hear if it is some sort of Bacteria she caught from the lake??

If that shows to be normal I have no idea where we will go from there.
All I do know is since she does have MCAD she can't keep going on like this her little body really can't take it.

Abi is having a lot more arm pain and neck pain AGAIN??
Is the syrinx back??? possibly since her shunts aren't working but what do I know I'm just "The MOM".

I wanted to mention and I don't mean to sound Needy but we could use some Hand-me-downs for the up-coming school year.

If anyone has clothes they were going to donate anyway we could really use them.
Abi wears a size Xlarge in girls and a 12 in pants.
Matti wears a size Medium and a 7 in pants
Kaydee wears a size large and a 10 in pants
Thank you...

Tonight I was looking up at the sky and I really felt a need to tell God that I'm doing the Best that I can.

I wasn't saying that there aren't mistakes in my judgments at times. I just really wanted Him to know that I need Him so much.

I'm pretty sure I won't be taking my training wheels off and riding solo anytime soon.

Thank you again for your Dedication to our Family...LOL Tracie

Sunday, August 10, 2008 9:37 PM CDT

Minty Bubba Christopherson 8-10-08

Finally Minty went to the big cheese in the sky.
She has been suffering these last couple of days and it was absolutely torture to watch.

I must say the mood around here has been very low..we are all going to miss her.
I know some reading this will say "It was just a Rat".
But to us she was family.

How do you not get attached to an animal that was so gentle and she really enjoyed being around us.

Abi cried probably the hardest I've ever seen her cry...Matti burst out on and off but kept a lot of it inside...Kaydee really kind of gets it but is already distracted by something else.

We put Minty in a gold paper lined cigar box that the girls picked out last week and we buried her in the back yard.
I brought a flat brick stepping stone inside so we the girls could decorate it and make her a proper burial stone.

Matti is back having problems again so hopefully tomorrow we will be able to get the sample in so we can see what is going on!
Her appetite hasn't been that good either.

Abi is getting a little discouraged because her nausea bracelet doesn't seem to be working for her.
I mentioned to her that it may take a little bit and it may not be the right thing for her.

Got a letter from Partington kind of going over what we discussed and it sure seems to me that he feels Monitoring would be helpful.. so why are we waiting??????Whats another surgery...I'm trying not to be pushy...I'm so not good at that though.

Anyway we did have a nice Family weekend if you overlook Kaydee choking on a cracker,Matti having diarrhea,Abi's neck pain and Minty Bubba Dying. "Just another Day in Paradise"

To find out about Abi's Eye appointment go back a page...

LOL Tracie

Saturday, August 9, 2008 8:20 AM CDT

Went to the ophthalmologist and we really really liked her it was a perfect fit!
She is checking to see if Abi has some type of palsy and I can't remember the full name.
The GREAT news is she recommended that she NOT have surgery because if in fact it is this condition it wouldn't help anyway.

Her eye sight is great the problem is her neck is so hunched over that it is causing her to have limited vision.

She recommended she have PT right away. She is going to get in touch with DR B and Partington about it.

I can't tell you what a relief it is to know we do not have to rush into eye surgery this summer!!! Thank you God.

Unfourtunatly we may have another condition under our belt....I guess it just goes on the "List " with everything else.

As far as Matti goes now she can't poop!! so we wait.

Thanks for stopping by your continued support gets us through ..........

This is the day the Lord has made let's smile and do the best we can to get through it. (I changed it up a little)

Love ya Tracie

Thursday, August 7, 2008 10:11 PM CDT

It is so true that a "Pot Watched Never boils".
I'm ready for the poop, got my kit and gloves..No Poop!!

To be honest I really didn't feel like going to children's anyway.

Tomorrows a new day!

I did spend the day cleaning the girls room and painting the closet and throwing away junk from under their beds..I feel like I should get a shot to prevent infection after that.YIKES

Abi had her last day with Jenny her Home teacher,she has been really great! Abi's going to miss her.

Can't really tell much about our new natural approach yet.
I do know that I'm glad she's off that Anxiety drug it really made her feel just terrible.

Tomorrow Abi goes to see a new ophthalmologist,I decided to get a fresh opinion her eyes are just really bothering her.

She was suppose to have eye surgery this summer but I haven't really wanted to go there since she's been having so many headaches.
So we will see what this new doctor has to say.

So you figure a long appointment with a new Doctor and maybe a Poop run it sounds like a full day! YEE-HAW

No real Big plans for the weekend (That's not a bad thing).

Take care enjoy the weekend....Thanks for being her this week.......LOL Tracie

Wednesday, August 6, 2008 10:02 PM CDT

Well it looks like we've gone Holistic...That's right we are naturalists!
Shocked? I am

The Dr. decided to take Abi off her anxiety medication because she no longer wanted to take it..It made her feel like her head was shaking.
To replace that we are trying a supplement that has been very successful for anxiety in children.

He also wants her to do Cranial Therapy, again it is a natural way (Hands on) to improve the flow and balance of spinal fluid in the spinal cord.

There are also two other vitamin suppliments that she is now taking! WOW

The bad part of all this is it is 100% out of pocket....The Cranial Therapy alone is 1$ a minute and she needs 45 minutes once a week???? I don't think insurance companies are into natural healing.

The thing I keep thinking is I'm gonna try it ..Do I think it will do the trick?? Not sure, but I do know the strong medicines don't work for her anxiety so maybe pills aren't the answer.

As far as her pain issues we got no real help with that..Ive decided I will call N-surg and talk over ICP monitoring I can't help but think we need to do this before school starts.

While I was at the clinic with Abi today I spoke with my Mom and she informed me Matti's stools were really really bad!

Well of course they are why would I only have "ONE" situation to handle at a time when I can have "SEVERAL".

I know God I'm strong I get that loud and clear!!

I ended up rushing over to Dr. B's and luck would have it I was able to speak to Him about it.

As it stands now I have my Wonderful "poop collector kit" and a pair of blue gloves so I am good to go for tomorrow...
The bad part about one of the tests once I collect it I have to get it there in two hours.
Looks like it's back to Children's once again.

I'm not complaining ..This is what I do..It's my job!

I think I was put on this earth to hand out medicine and collect poop.... when I was little I thought I would grow up to be a Ballerina or a cowgirl...OH well..ha ha

We did find out we get part of our new windows!! Yea!!I just can't tell you how happy that makes me to know the girls don't have to sleep around Moldy windows anymore...Thanks God!

Now God if you could hook us up with a Mazda SUV we would be set..I think this miracle might be a little tougher.
Doesn't that Bible verse say "Ask and you shall receive"
I guess I'll start taking the stuff out of our Old van.
Ha Ha Ha I'm so Funny I crack myself up!

Well hopefully your day is a good one and not spent collecting POOP!!!

Love Ya Tracie (I'm Nuts)

Tuesday, August 5, 2008 10:42 PM CDT

Tomorrow is another busy medical day for Abi.
We have two appointments one is with Dr.Culbert who is now suppose to be our "Hero" of pain I guess.

I have a couple issues to go over with him...First Pain control..Abi is taking too much Tylenol and I'm sure it is eating away at her liver. I really want her feeling better in the mornings so she can get up and go to school.

Also her anxiety medication is making her head feel funny and she doesn't like the way she feels on it.
Another factor is her anxiety is worse then ever.

She keeps talking about how school scares her and how she feels she doesn't want to be away from me in case something happens to her.(Who can blame her)

Luckily we are seeing Linda too tomorrow so she can go over some of those feelings.
I feel bad for her but on the other hand I do get a little frustrated at times.

I keep going back and forth if I should push to have them do the monitoring on her head pressures??? I just can't help but think we would learn so much to be able to help her.

I keep going on and on tonight (sorry) I'm just really trying to get my thoughts organized by tomorrow.

I've found if you don't ask for what you need you don't get it BUT on the other hand it's hard when your the person who has to figure out what to ask for.

It's nights like these I just have to turn it over to the Big Guy and have the Faith and Trust that I always claim to have.
Granted I'm not a very "silent" passenger but I've realized through the years that God is such a Better driver than I am!

LOL Tracie

Monday, August 4, 2008 10:28 PM CDT

You know that feeling when you buy something that requires directions and parts and pieces and you get it all set out and try putting it together the best you can and it just turns out
looking like Home depot threw up!

I just have so many days that feel that way..disappointing but deep down knowing I did my best!! And no matter how hard I tried to get it right I just couldn't.

That is why days like today just seem so Terrific!! Everything just fit and worked ..I smiled a lot!
When I said prayers with the girls tonight I could of gone on forever when I was Thanking God for todays blessings!

I really enjoyed the article in the paper,It is always weird when you say so much because you never know what they will take and use.
But it was good..Abi saw her picture and said "Why are my arms like that?"ha ha

I guess I will call it a day.....Gods Blessings to you all.

MY 5

1.Going with Carole to get our hair done by Lori (Who's also the St Anthony Chili cook-off winner).

2.Linda (S.F)

3.Going to Kohl's to return a Birthday gift and getting two shirts for the price of one!

4.Matti's Birthday coming up on the 19th and our anniversary.

5.The girls competing in a Tin-foil statue contest this last weekend and winning first place.(They wrapped Abi in Foil and made her look like a bunny statue).

6. The people in my life that I'm so grateful for.

Love ya....Tracie

Sunday, August 3, 2008 9:59 PM CDT

Well here we go again another week ahead and so many wonderful possibilities. (Thought I would start out on a positive note)

The weekend was pretty good, we were able to spend some time at our local Village Fest and visit with some good friends.

The status of the girls is Ok....Matti is still for some reason having loose stools like crazy..so I went today and got some Gatorade so her electrolytes won't fall too low.

We also found out that her MRI is scheduled for Sept 5th.
They will have us come in to the Hospital the evening before to get her an IV going since she can't fast.
I'm a little nervous that they might not do everything that's needed. I will probably call her specialist when it gets closer so she can make sure to fill them in on every single precaution.

Kaydee is feeling a little better it seems to come and go for her.
Dr.B checked her for strep and that was negative but he guessed she probably has a virus.

Abi's been doing the same... she had such a fun time at the festival and really enjoyed the music!!

Got out in the yard today and weeded!!Yikes there were some taller then most trees I've seen.
Got Paul out there with a shovel to get the ones growing on the driveway...Our weed eater would of been helpful but I bashed it on a brick and it really hasn't felt well since.(OOPS)
The Tomato plants are looking good I can't wait to try our first tomato of the season.

I can't believe it is getting so close to school starting!!
Where has the summer gone????

We are going to be in the paper again tomorrow Not here though but in Milwaukee they were up at Faith's Lodge when we were there.
They kind of walked around and talked with all the families,
We may or may not be in it but I'm sure it will still be a good read.

Check it out at JSonline.com

Can I just complain about Bret Farve......Seriously why do football players do that???? I'm leaving boo hoo everyone cries...We'll miss you Bret...sniff sniff

You Are Old take a seat!!!!!Let someone else play... go get some hobbies.
That's it from Sports back to you in the news room. ha ha

Looks like I may not just be a Doctor..I'm a pretty good Veterinarian too.
Kind of gave Minty Bubba a little facial work with some peroxide and some antibiotic cream for what appeared to be a "Facial lesion" (Medical term) and it seems to be better.
Feel free to bring your animals over I work by appointments only!

I'm all done here (bet you're thankful).

Have a Day that exceeds your expectations!!!!!

Love ya.......Tracie

Prayers coming at you

Thursday, July 31, 2008 9:42 PM CDT

Going in to see the Neurosurgeon you always have mixed feelings...You want your little girl to feel better but on the other hand in order for that type of Doctor to do that it usually means brain surgery.

I'm not sure how to tell you exactly what it felt like when we left today with Him saying for now we will do nothing!
It's almost like thinking your going to be rescued
and then the Coastguard passes right by.

He did say we can do an ICP monitoring where they put a detector of some sort inside Abi's head to see what her pressures are.
It is a simple surgery then we stay in ICU for three or four days.
The wonderful thing about it is it would show exactly how well the Shunt is working.
He wants to wait though???

For now His suggestion was to go back to Integrative medicine and talk about pain control along with the anxiety that we are already seeing Dr.Culbert for.

I was so upset all the way home but then I had to realize that for some reason Dr.Partington is not the one to help us.
I have to trust that God is guiding Abi's care.
I pray at night for God to show me what to do....so when things don't go the way "I" think they should I just have to step back and "Trust" that it's just part of the Plan.

All I can do is pray for that guidance to continue.

Kaydee is still doing pretty bad we went to Target for a little bit today and that pretty much did her in.
She is still running a temp so it looks like we will once again head to children's.

Matti continued to have headaches today on/off I will feel a lot better after her MRI ,that is unless it shows something I don't want to know about.
I can't believe how much Tylenol and Motrin we are buying it seems we are going to Target to get some every other day.

Some sad news to share it seems "Minty Bubba" the girls pet rat is very sick she has stopped eating and now seems to have very labored breathing.
The girls were watching her and crying..it's a hard thing to watch.

Some good news is through Hopekids we get to meet and talk to Tom Lehman at the upcoming Golf tournament!!!
Paul and I explained to the girls that Tom is to Golf what Mickey Mouse is to Disney world!!! We are Super excited!!

I guess life seems to be good and Bad......It must be the good that gets us through all the Bad!BRING ON THE GOOD!!

Prayers going out to all of you and Big Hugs too.

Stay cool and Thanks for being here!

Love Ya Tracie

Wednesday, July 30, 2008 9:54 PM CDT

Spent the early part of my morning today asking God if He could please give me some guidance!

I just felt after a night like that I needed someone else to take over for a while.

Kaydee ended up getting worse last night running a temp of 103
but really not too many other symptoms. the fever was making her pretty uncomfortable.

On the side I had Matti waking up crying because her head was hurting her so badly.

Then waking up to Abi not feeling well..basically I had enough!
After praying I came to the conclusion that I don't have to fix this!
So I called Dr.B and put it all in his hands which is what He's trained to do.

Talking to Him I felt a lot better because we walked through it child by child.

Kaydee if not better goes in Friday (Basically I put her to bed still with a fever of 102).

Matti is getting an MRI very soon Dr B said so I should hear about the date before friday.

Abi well not much to do there until tomorrow when we see Dr.Partington (9am)
I just hope so much He brings his magic wand and can make her feel better.

Through all this of course this morning I shed some frustration tears but for now I made it through another day!! Yeah Me!!!

Thanks for the support and send some prayers to Dr.Partington that His Head will be filled with Brilliance.

LOL Tracie

Tuesday, July 29, 2008 10:20 PM CDT

In my quest to save money I pulled what I like to call a "Tracie."

I canceled our Internet connection and I didn't really know that until later today when Paul made a phone call.
So anyway to make a long BOO BOO short we have a new E-mail address........pandt4@q.com

Today was a day every Mom dreams of ..I took Kaydee to her Kindergarten screening and was told that she could basically lead the testing!
She got all the testing correct and I left there feeling like I have done some good work!!(Paul too of course)

Matti is doing better just having headaches but that is a little easier to deal with.
Still haven't heard about her MRI date.

I know what your going to say but I will share this anyway.....tonight Paul kissed Kaydee goodnight and He mentioned to me that she felt really hot??

I knew that she was tired today and coughing a little but I guess I didn't think anything of it or I just decided to ignore it?????
Well after taking her Temp guess what ?? She had one..What are the odds!
Abi looked at me and asked when is everyone going to be well at the same time?
I told her I would get back to her on that.

I think there comes a time when you decide that your going to just keep going it's almost like it all really doesn't define how my day will go.
I wake up... assess the situation ...help who I can... deal with what I can't and keep breathing! Simple!

As far as PJ asking if our House is making Abi worse???? (She is allowed to ask these questions because she has been with us since day #1 and we think the world of her)

I don't really think our house makes Abi's symptoms worse because no matter where we are Abi carries her pain with her.
Sometimes I just think when you are home and safe you tend to let your guard down more.
Even if it was our house not too much could be done about it right now anyway.

Kind of organizing my thoughts a little to be ready for Dr.Partington on Thursday I just want to make sure I cover everything I need to..I guess I'll write a list.

I'm sure Doctors especially Neurosurgeons love that when patients Moms walk in with a List!!

As usual Thanks for being here please if you can Leave a note here or on our new E-mail. Still don't quite understand why they call it "Hotmail"?????

LOL and just for Today Act as if you Can........

Monday, July 28, 2008 9:23 PM CDT

It was the usual Monday ...Phone Calls..Phone calls.

Talked with Dr B and with Matti's metabolic Dr. both really said the same thing keep a close eye on it and if she is not better by tomorrow bring her in.

Today did almost seem better for her your prayers must of worked!!
I don't want to jinx myself so I will leave it at better.

Abi is just doing awful she spent the entire day laying down..I kept asking her whats wrong???And all she could say is "I don't know."

We are going to see Dr. Partington on Thursday and hopefully he will be able to help her out somehow.
My thoughts are once he sees how she looks he'll know we have some issues going on.

Thank you to all of you who are always looking out for us...I got several E-mails about the "Miracle working" pain Doctor at Children's.
Well we saw Dr.Fredneckdork (or whatever His name is)and the only "Miracle" that was present that day is the fact that it was a "Miracle" I didn't smack Him!!
He was the one that said if Abi went to school her pain would leave because she would be distracted??????What!!!!

I'M Sorry "YOUR FIRED"!!!!!!

What a waste of a two paged article they should of filled that space with GREAT Doctors like Dr. Berkowitz. I'm done..sorry.

Tomorrow I take Kaydee to Kindergarten screening..still not sure what that even is and I've been through it with all three????
Saturday Kaydee lost her front tooth and I can't even tell you how darn cute it is!! I will try and put a picture on here so you can see it.

I got an E-mail from Cathy (the Mom with 3 girls and two have med issues) she said "We made it through another day"
after reading that I took a breath and said "Yes we did."

Have a nice Tuesday.....Thanks again for being here for us!!

LOL Tracie

Some people have asked Where they can make Donations to Help out our Family....
There is an account that is set up at Bremer Bank "Abi Christopherson Fund"
Thank you, without your love and support
we wouldn't of made it this far.

Sunday, July 27, 2008 9:53 PM CDT

I was looking back on past entries to see when I noted that Matti was having some problems.
It looks like Thursday..

Last night was a fun night out with some great families we know and then the evening turned into panic!

The problem with MCAD is things can get serious fast if your not careful.
Matti has had loose stools for several days now and I keep thinking she's ok and it will pass but Paul and I had a major scare last night because it was really really bad..basically I've seen alot but I've never seen anything like this.

I called the emergency Metabolic Doctor on call and they said to go to the hospital if it gets worse,they advised me to wake her up and feed her. If you've ever had to wake up a sick child and get them to eat it is not fun.

Today she woke up and felt alright but as the day progressed she felt kind of bad.
Once again she continues to have problems.
I'm almost scared to go to bed.
I will probably call and get her in tomorrow.

Through all this Abi is feeling bad plus she has an all new high level of anxiety thinking that Matti is going to be put in the hospital.
I'm trying my best to comfort her but I can't promise her things when I don't know whats going to happen.

I was telling Abi today about how I give my worries to God,I explained to her that sometimes right after I give them I decide I want them back.
I told her that it's okay to do that because we are human....The best part about it all is God waits until you've had enough then you can once again turn it back over
to Him.
I guess the point i was trying to get her to hear is that .....God Is There and she can Trust Him.

The funny part is in telling her that I reminded myself too!

I just wish things were better for us right now...things seem so cloudy.....I do have hope that it will clear.

Thanks for being here and if you could send Matti some prayers I would appreciate it.

Prayers going out to my CB Family....

LOL Tracie

Thursday, July 24, 2008 9:46 PM CDT

I guess being on vacation for a while and then coming back I seemed to forget how incredibly overwhelming nighttime can be.

The days have been getting more and more stressful.

Matti has had some issues and I'm not sure where they are going can't seem to tell if she is getting sick or not.

Abi's been feeling terrible and to top her headaches off she now has really bad pain in her right knee and is having trouble walking on it.....since she didn't hurt it I'm not sure what it is from.

Kaydee is acting out like you would not believe and when she gets in trouble she now goes in her room and screams and stomps!!Terrific.
Still haven't heard anything from her tests.

Spent time on the phone today trying to get our utilities to be a little cheaper, it surprised me that they will try and help.
Decided to get rid of my cell phone for a while at least and canceled the Newspaper. It's hard to cut more then that it's not like you can go without water or Electricity.

I think I need to start doing my 5 things I'm Thankful for Again just as a reminder that I am so Blessed.

Thanks for checking on us............At least we are consistent and always have things going on...ha ha

MY 5
1.Knowing we aren't only feeding birds with our "Bird feeder" but we are feeding the squirrels and Lola too.

2.Believing I will be in shape one of these days.

3.Circus Peanuts (Love them).

4. A key Chain from a friend that says "You Are Brave".

5. Feeling that when I pray God hears me.

Prayers going out to Olivia,Traci,Kira,Mark,Braydon,Anna,Alison,Gavin,Hopekids,Hopekids Families,Mrs.P's Family,MB,Cristina,All of you in my heart

LOL Tracie

Wednesday, July 23, 2008 9:44 PM CDT

Our Doctor appointments went fine today.
Abi went and worked with Linda at Integrative medicine and Kaydee and I went to see Dr.B.

Kaydee's physical exam of course showed nothing. Dr. B trusted what I was saying about issues she's having and ordered some testing.
They took a urine sample and several blood tests so if anything shows up we will pursue it,if not I guess we will let it go and see what happens. I do feel better having at least those tests run.

Dr.B also said He is ordering an MRI for Matti so that will be coming up soon.
He first has to speak with Matti's specialist at the U to see how they should go about sedation since she can't fast.

I must say It scares me a little to have an MRI done on Matti not sure if we can handle it if anything were to show up.

Abi had another terrible day today not feeling good at all..Hopefully things will start looking up for her soon.
I just keep thinking about how much she loved being at faith's Lodge..we all did.

My mom and I tore apart the kitchen again and it turned out great and actually it's bigger now and we didn't even have to take down a wall.(Paul's happy about that).

It would help if I could build on an extra room..all I seem to have for building materials is Popsicle sticks and Elmers Glue not sure if that will do it.

No news about the windows yet but I keep hoping!!And praying!!
Now I need to find a State program that gives away Cars..Take care of that problem and we are set.

If I've learned anything from this journey it's that God gives me and My family exactly what we need..We are well taken care of with God so close.
Don't get me wrong I'm Human so I panic and worry but when push comes to shove Gods right there.

It's hard to think that life will be this much of a struggle
forever...but if I break it in small parts somehow the steps seem possible.

As always Thank you for being here ...I learned alot from the other Families at Faith's Lodge about how some people just get Burned out when situations don't Brighten but then there are those who stick with us no matter what.
I'm Thankful for you all.

LOL Tracie

Prayers going out for so many tonight.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008 10:10 PM CDT

Read in the paper today an article about how to be frugal.
It said you could save so much money on groceries by going to "ALDI" even though I have had a bad experience before (remember the guy in front of me and his cart full of meat.)

I did decide to try a different location.
To make a long story short we ended up driving around because of construction and never did find the store....instead of saving we probably spent 10 dollars on gas!

I decide to start washing all my clothes in cold water and called it a day!

Called N-surg once again today because for some reason they can't seem to call me back.....I finally received a call and
they said Dr. P would like to lay eyes on Abi and He will probably turn her shunt up more.

My reaction was WHAT!!!! That is the best they've got?
I'm glad we will see "Him" because I got some questions that's for sure.

SHUNT..SHUNT..SHUNT...SHUNT!

Going to see Dr. B tomorrow with kaydee hopefully I won't leave feeling like a over paranoid Mom.
Abi has an appointment with Linda at Integrative medicine so I'm doing a two for 1 at childrens.

Abi's Dr. decided to double the dose of her anxiety meds. so we will see how that goes.

Hopefully Dr.B will give me the referral I need to get Matti in to Gillette...She is starting to have headaches again..Is the strep returning? Hope not.

WELCOME HOME TRACIE!

I'm beginning to think the Ticks and other bugs weren't that bad after all.

Take care prayers going out to you all..

LY Tracie

Tuesday, July 22, 2008 7:19 AM CDT

Every night I've tried to make an entry and the computer shuts down on me.

Things have been okay since we've been home...Abi has been feeling pretty rough.
It was funny the closer Paul and I got to home the tighter our shoulders seemed to get from stress.

I did feel a certain sense of renewed energy coming home from Faith's Lodge and I think that was from the fact that people got us there.

I also finally got to meet Cathy and her family she is a tough cookie and I really learned alot from her in that short time.
It was funny to see her and Dan because they have three girls that are older and two of them have medical issues.
It was like looking into the future...If we have half the relationship and fun that they do I'm really looking forward to it.

Spent "My Birthday" on the phone with several Doctors I'll try and keep it simple:

1. Called N-surg because I want some "Real" answers why we can turn Abi's shunt from 30 to 90 and there is absolutely no change??? HELLO is this thing on????

2. Called the U of M about Matti and this toe walking issue...I'm thinking skip Childrens MPLS and just get her into Gillette for testing??? I feel if we let this go more damage will occur...How many 8 year olds toe walk??

3. Got kaydee an appointment with DR.B while on Vacation there were several days when she just didn't feel good....I'm taking her in and I'm going to say "Find out what the deal is".

4. Left a message for Dr. Tim because this anxiety medication is giving me anxiety?? Abi needs a stronger dose or a different kind.

Maybe this is why God was keeping me off the computer????

Anyway after all the calls I haven't really received any answers yet...shocker!

The wonderful wonderful news of the day is ..as you've probably learned by now our windows in our house are so old bugs can push the glass to get in....and most of them have cracks,mold you get the idea.
We found out yesterday that the city has a fund for families like us and it looks like we may qualify.
The only problem is we have to pick only 5 windows because the funding amount is pretty low.
It will be the living room windows for sure because our big picture window you can no longer see out of and of course the girls room because of the mold issue.....so keep your fingers crossed that we get this...It would be so great!

Please check out our photo album....One of the coolest things we did was paint a rock and leave it by the "Bridge of Hope" somehow to me it was a statement of being able to continue.

Anyway I think I've gone on long enough....Do I think this trip has changed anything for us?? Yes, it really gave us a chance to just be who we are with no masks.
Have things changed now that we are home?? No,that's the thing about medically functioning families where ever you go
it's always waiting for you when you get back!

Thanks for being here..couldn't do this without you!

LY Tracie

Monday, July 21, 2008 8:21 AM CDT

We arrived home yesterday!!! What a great Vacation!!

Going to enjoy my Birthday and relax a little..I will give a full update tonight.

Love ya,

Tracie

Friday, July 18, 2008 10:54 AM CDT

We have been really having a great time!!
We have met some really great families.

Last night we all sat around and shared our stories. It was almost like we all share the fears of losing our children the joy when we feel we are heading in the right direction and the frustration when we have to get there by ourselves when the Doctors don't have a clue.

It feels so good to belong to Hopekids and just feel like we fit in.
Yesterday the guys went golfing and us women had facials,massages,and had our make-up done...It was so great I actually cried because my heart and soul were just Happy!!

The kids have met new friends and to tell the truth we hardly see them.

Today it's off to the beach and then tonight we have "Bingo"
so lots to look forwards to.

You would think in a place like this you would meditate and sit in nature and be at peace..instead we are laughing and talking and just letting all our "stuff" wait outside.

Hope all is well ..thanks for checking in....LOL

Tuesday, July 15, 2008 10:13 PM CDT

Alright I made it sound like this was a BIG trip we only really went to right on the outskirts of Siren Wisconsin.

We arrived at 11:45 and check in was 12:00 can you tell we really wanted to get here??

We walked in and the Lodge may I say is so beautiful it was almost like paradise in the woods.

Please Google Faith's Lodge and take the virtual tour and then you can see a little of what I mean.

The only thing I can see as a problem here is the "BUGS" but after you get used to flies the size of Humming birds it really is okay!
We got back to our room tonight and Abi and Paul had a tick on them....I hate ticks.

We went for several walks in the woods and each time we went it was prettier then the last time.

As you walk on the trails their are signs with inspirational quotes nailed to trees...alot of them as you can guess hit home.

The hard part of today was to "Relax" it is so calming and serene her it makes you relax......I sat on a couch (probably the most amazing couch I have ever sat on)for at least an hour..can't remember when I've done that in an afternoon.

For dinner we had a cook-out and the best part is I didn't have to cook.

We all met later at a fire pit and shared some hospital stories....We finally met a Family I've known Via computer and they are amazing..the great thing is they are Neurosurgery regulars like us...so we shared a couple laughs and then retired to our room.

They have a Library here and while sitting there today (Yes I had time to read) I found a book with some wonderful thoughts.....I'd like to share them.

The book is "I Am Amazed" By Jodi Hills

I admire those
who are afraid to take the journey,
but still open the door.

I admire those who
wake each morning
and find a reason
to smile,
and they give you theirs for no reason
at all.

I am amazed by
those who walk the
daily high rope without looking down.

As you can tell our first day was a good one...Thank you for coming on this journey with me.

LY.....A much more relaxed Tracie

Monday, July 14, 2008 9:12 PM CDT

You can tell I never really leave home..I'm a bundle of nerves right now!!!
I'm excited and nervous.....

We leave tomorrow morning hopefully we will be able to fit all our stuff in the van??? That may be a morning challenge.

I have decided to take you with me so pack your stuff we are all going to faith's lodge...I thought it would be nice to journal about what I feel will be an amazing place.

I will check in with you tomorrow night.....If you could please send prayers for us to have a safe trip along with the other Hopekid Families.

LY ...Thanks for being here......Tracie

Sunday, July 13, 2008 9:37 PM CDT

Starting to get things packed up and ready for our trip on Tuesday...To say the least we are so excited!!

Everybody seems to be doing pretty well nothing much has changed with Abi's headaches.
I'm suppose to call N-surg to give them the heads-up tomorrow before we leave.
It makes me think this is how it will be and it must not be a pressure thing unless it is to soon to tell...Oh Well

Matti is still holding her own no signs of strep yet..had some headaches today but nothing big.

Can't decide if I want to journal through my trip or not??
It might be fun to take you guys along with me?? I'll let you know tomorrow.
I might miss you too much If I don't.

Have a nice Monday ...LY Tracie

MY 5
1. 2 days until faith's Lodge
2. Our milk lady.
3. So many great people in our life!
4. Thinking I was going to be "41" this year and then Paul informing me I will be "42" so on the 21st of July I plan on skipping my Birthday and staying 41.(Can I do that)
5.Laughing at myself and the fact that I MISSED an entire year!!!

Rejoice!!!

Thursday, July 10, 2008 9:33 PM CDT

Today was just an ordinary day and then I saw a BIG ANT!

It wasn't like a herd of ants or even two no, just One.

After I got some newspaper and a blow torch I was able to take care of Him without too big of a challenge.
I then preceded to think there must be a reason an Ant gets that BIG! It must mean my kitchen isn't as clean and tidy as I earlier imagined.
So I started at one end and preceded to tear apart my entire kitchen.
After about an hour Abi walks in carefully because stuff is everywhere and says, "Daddy says when you clean like this your worried or stressed".

I stopped to think for a minute???Am I worried or stressed???
Well of course! But I really think in this case It was because of that ANT.

Abi woke up in the middle of the night with head pain so I thought oh great here we go...I gave her medicine and she went back to sleep.
Waking up this morning she was the same as always still laying down not feeling well.
She has also been pretty dizzy BUT (Here's the good news)
Her anxiety medication has been working I think because she seems so much more herself.
Bedtime is also so much better no struggles at all these last couple of nights.

Matti has officially finished her third round of Antibiotics
so let the game begin.

5 days and counting until we leave for Faith's Lodge!!!
Yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

MY 5
1.The way Lola looks when she gets done with a bath.
2.Friday's here already!! It creeped up unexpectedly.
3.The two Minutes of rain!! I'm getting used to my grass looking like Bran flakes.
4.A clean kitchen.
5. The fact that I can write anything on this site and actually I think some people read it.

Take care and enjoy your weekend..Keep it safe!

LY Tracie

Wednesday, July 9, 2008 ..9:42 PM CDT

Well here we are day 1 and no real changes..pretty much the same headache pattern.
We were able to go to see "If you give a mouse a Cookie"
That was the funniest thing I've seen in a long time..We all LOVED it.
If you have a chance to go I highly recommend it.

I am so Thankful for "Hopekids" we have been able to do fun things we normally wouldn't have....What a blessing that Organization is!

Matti has her last dose of her antibiotic tomorrow,I must say It makes me a little nervous to be done.
I'm really praying this time the Strep has left for good...and won't be back in two days.

Kaydee has been coughing tonight and hopefully it's nothing ..Abi was almost in tears thinking if she starts getting sick we won't go....I reminded her if we stayed home until everyone was "Well" we would never go!

Still haven't figured out all we need yet,I did order all the Meds. so we don't run out while we are there.

I read something today that reminded me.... wherever I am and Whatever I may be going through Good or bad This is exactly where I'm suppose to be and this is what I'm suppose to be doing.
God has Great plans for me!!!
Kind of makes me relax a little knowing I'm not suppose to be somewhere else or doing something else.

If you could send some special prayers to a young girl "Olivia" she is at Gillette and has had 4 surgeries in a weeks time.
Please also pray for Mark,Kira,Alison,Traci,Michael,Braydon,
Cristina,Gavin,Anna and all those close to my heart.

Thanks for checking on us....LY Tracie

Tuesday, July 8, 2008 10:02 PM CDT

Today went fine as expected..they turned up her shunt to 90 her setting was 30...so we went up quite a bit.

So now we wait to see if this "Turning up of the Shunt" will make a difference.
I'm praying it will be for the good instead of the bad.

Nights like these I get scared to go to bed..I'm afraid she will wake up screaming...That is the worst!

I'm trying not to worry much about getting my ducks in a row before Vacation.....I don't care if they are in a row or all over the lake we are going!!!
get the "First Aid kit" and get in the car!!

Tomorrow if all goes well we are going with the Hopekids to see "Give A Mouse A Cookie" at the Children's Theater.
We are super excited to go so hopefully it will be possible..Abi has never seen a real play I don't think.

Thank you for your Prayers and good thoughts today (keep them coming).

Hoping your day is a good one....

Thanks..LY Tracie

Monday, July 7, 2008 9:58 PM CDT

Our appointments went fine today Dr.Culbert decided that an anxiety medicine would probably be helpful in this case.

She is also going to start taking Omega 3 and a Multi-vitamin.
Lots of new things to start but they will be on hold until we go see N-surg tomorrow.
The plan tomorrow is to turn her shunt way up...I must say I am nervous I've seen high pressure and it is not a fun situation to be in.
But this constant headache pattern isn't that fun either.
A couple prayers that Abi will turn out ok would be appreciated.

I could be wrong but for me I feel like this vacation to Faith's Lodge will be an opportunity for us to get off the Hamster wheel for a little bit....A chance to breathe...Just changing the channel for a while.

I really pray for that.......

Thank you for being here....LY

Prayers for Mark,Kira,Anna,Alison,Olivia,Cristina,Traci,
Michael,Braydon,Gavin,Mrs.P's Parents,all of you in my heart.

Monday, July 7, 2008 7:54 AM CDT

Well today we have several appointments..one with the Doctor who hopefully can do something with Abi's crying and anxiety.

Then we see Linda who is always great!

Almost a week until we leave for Faith's Lodge!!

The girls are doing okay Abi still having too many headaches..Matti is kind of run down and still complains about her throat a little (Still has 5 days of pills left).
Kaydee and that stomach I go back and forth with getting her checked out before we go on Vacation??????

Even with all that Junk we all agree this has been a really fun summer so far!!
We have been swimming at the lake and wadding pool....Just being together and doing fun stuff!!

I guess sooner or later you take your full plate and learn to run with it instead of waiting for it to empty like I've done in the past.

Have a nice day stay cool and pray for rain!!!

Prayers going out!

LY Tracie

Thursday, July 3, 2008 10:02 PM CDT

HOPE YOU HAVE A 4TH FILLED WITH POTATO SALAD,FIREWORKS AND LOTS OF FUN!!!

BE SAFE......TALK TO YOU ON MONDAY.....LY

Wednesday, July 2, 2008 10:20 PM CDT

Hi Everyone.....

As our "Vacation" approaches I'm getting more and more excited!
I just like saying the word "Vacation vacation".

Today we received our itinerary and it sounds like we will have so much fun.

I'm also a little on the panic side because I also feel a need to of course get all our Ducks in a row.

Matti woke up this morning and the left side of her face was swollen.
She kept pushing on it saying it felt funny...it almost looked like she'd been punched in the mouth.
Doctor B doesn't think it's the antibiotic but if tomorrow it's worse I need to bring her in?????????Who knows..seems like Matti's little body is having a rough patch that is for sure.

Abi's having alot more headaches after hitting her head on a
metal bar on the play ground.
It seemed to be around her shunt hopefully no damage was done.

Tonight I was lucky enough to have Lori do my hair...when Carole and I go there we have so much fun....

Trying to figure out what we need for such a long trip we will be gone 6 days...One of the amazing things about the Lodge is food is fully stocked and at your disposal.

So basically swim gear,sun screen,bug spray stuff like that will be probably our main focus.(Yea I'm so excited)

Well there you have it my day in a nutshell..Hope you had a nice day..

LY heaps.....Tracie

Tuesday, July 1, 2008 10:12 PM CDT

Good news!!! Matti has been on her medication for 24 hours....
take the yellow banner down from around the house we are germ free.

We had a little issue with the liquid so we ended up getting pills.
Matti hated the taste of the liquid so bad that she took a crash course on pill swallowing.
So were good!

Abi continues to be extremely emotional..last night she was up for several hours just crying..It's hard to know what to do.

Tomorrow I go with Carole to get our hair done..so excited!!
Lori is just the greatest and we always have lots of laughs when we are all together.

Thanks again for stopping in.....LY Tracie

Prayers going out to all those in my heart.

Monday, June 30, 2008 9:58 PM CDT

Well once again I decided to take strep and spread it all around town.
We made some last minute plans to go meet friends at the wadding pool.
Those of you who have been with me a while know the story about the lady who put her sons laundry and mixed it with Abi's while we were in the hospital...Gross!!

I think I actually met her sister today!
There we are sitting watching the girls splash around on a hot day.....A lady enters the pool with her young son and decides it's okay to play with other kids float toys.

Being a sharing person I was alright with that but then she totally crossed the line and broke Rule #3 in the "How to be a respectable Adult" manual.

She took Matti's tube and opened the plug put her mouth all over it and continued to blow it up!!!!

We sat and stared not believing that someone would honestly do that......Knowing it was Matti's and she had been blowing it up I thought it was my duty as an American citizen to mention that "My Daughter is on her third round with strep and that is her tube."

The lady looked up and said "She's on Antibiotics right"?

How do I attract these people??????ha ha ha

DR. B did call today and said if This round of meds doesn't work we have to get the tonsils out.(Terrific)

Abi seems to still be crying about everything..I hate when plans change or we have to say No because she starts the water running and it is hard for her to stop.

I can't wait until our appointment with Dr.Culbert on Monday.....I'm really wanting her on some type of Anti-anxiety med. I think it would really help her.

Thanks for coming by and please leave a note......LY

Sunday, June 29, 2008 10:03 PM CDT

Today was a Christopherson "Typical" day.

We had plans to go to a Hopekids event at the Firehouse Museum
in NE Mpls.
The girls were very excited and Matti seemed to be feeling better and we hadn't heard results back from her strep test and didn't plan to until Monday.

To make the event extra special we decided to go have lunch.
As we are getting ready to walk out the door the Hospital calls to say Matti tested positive for strep again...after hanging up I knew I should keep her home but couldn't do it she was too excited about going.

So we left and on the way to Applebee's Kaydee ended up having her bad stomach pain so we had to turn around and come home!!

As Abi is crying hysterically and Kaydee's feeling sick Paul headed off to pick up Matti's Antibiotic which by the way is so rare no'one keeps it in stock so she has to wait until Tuesday to even start treatment.

We did pull it together and ended up going to the museum and the funny thing is Paul and I saw the look on the girls faces when they were on a Firetruck ride ...smiles so big and bright it made all the trouble getting there so worth it.

Kaydee ended up having another stomach pain at the firehouse
she describes it as pressure?? I remember a friend saying strep can cause stomach pain ,so I decided to take her to urgent care.
Her rapid strep came back negative..Now what????

On a positive note I was able to escape Saturday night and go out with "The Girls'.
I realized a couple things about myself.....I'm old and I don't sing like Neil Diamond.

Have a nice Monday and Thank you for reading that entire Journal entry.(Sorry it was so long) LY Tracie

MY 5
1.Friends (crazy as they may be).
2.MY "Zoo" that I live in.
3.Big Big Smiles.
4.Hopekids
5.Thinking that they should change the name "Strep" to "Christopherson". (Hey I hear your son has the Christopherson throat)

:) check out new photos in Photo Album!

Thursday, June 26, 2008 9:59 PM CDT

Well just as I expected Matti woke me up this morning complaining of not feeling well.
By the look of her eyes I knew Strep is back or still here one of the two.

Called Dr.B and we are going in tomorrow morning to do some labs to see what exactly we are trying to treat.

I know everybody is thinking Just have her tonsils out BUT
For children with MCAD every procedure even tonsils is a Huge deal.
I guess we will see what is found tomorrow.
Thank you for all the kind E-mails I love hearing from you.

All I know is tonight I need sleep.....Today I was afraid to stand still too long because I would fall asleep upright.

Matti keeps gagging so I keep running in there to make sure she is okay,I'm always nervous that she will throw up if that happens it's off to the ER for us...between you and me I'm not really in the mood for that tonight...or any night.

Take care and goodnight..Love Ya...Tracie

Wednesday, June 25, 2008 11:17 PM CDT

Just got home from the Airport..picked my mom up and now she is home!!!! I'm happy...

Abi had an appointment with Linda(Integrative medicine) and it was so nice to be back seeing her.
Abi's anxiety has just gotten so bad we have to really start to address it.
Don't get me wrong she has every reason to feel that way after all she has been through....who wouldn't have anxiety.

We made some future appointments with her and with Dr. Culbert who can put her on an anti-anxiety med if needed.

The sleep Doctor finally got a hold of us and ordered a new med for her to try but I think I'm going to hold off for a little bit to see what we can do with integrative medicine first.

It's so easy for these Doctors to put Abi on all this stuff but very few follow threw with you while she's trying them.

Bad news tonight is Matti couldn't go with us to pick up My Mom because ???? can you guess?? Well her throat hurts again! Anyone know what they do now?? She's been on two really strong Antibiotics and now what will we use?
I'm kind of bummed about that.....

As I sit here my eyes are going blurry so I should probably get to bed.

There are so many of you having "Stuff" so please know if I don't mention you the prayers are still coming.

The good news is once you learn to walk with rocks in your shoes after a while you don't even feel it!! LY Tracie

MY 5
1.My Moms Home
2.Going to a Dr. and knowing they care about Abi.
3.Air conditioning!!
4.My Neighbor bringing us Spaghetti and meatballs (because I had no idea what to make for dinner).
5.Driving to the airport and Abi and I enjoying the beautiful sunset.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008 9:39 PM CDT

Today was a good day !! I love those

Abi didn't feel too bad this morning and was able to do some fun kid stuff....
We went to the lake and built sand castles on the beach and then went to McDonalds for a Tuesday 1$ Happy meal....then it was home because her Teacher was coming.

I was so happy not to give her narcotics!!! sounds funny I know but it was nice to use just "basic" pain meds.

Matti now has been done with her Antibiotic for 2 days..I just pray that the strep is gone.

Heard from my Best Friends at Hennepin County (Ha) now they are saying they have paid us too much money so now we owe them ????????? How do they come up with this stuff.
I called God and He said He'd take care of it.

I know I keep saying this But...I am reminded about all the wonderful people we have in our life!! Today I received a card from a couple that seems to never get tired of lifting our spirits..I can't tell you what it means when you know someone has taken the time to think of you and your family.

Even the people who pray for us and maybe silently read our CB page...we know your there we can feel the love and I'm here to tell you it is so appreciated...Thank you!

Have a Nice day...I hope lots of Blessings come your way!

MY 5
1.Sue & Tim
2.Knowing God has blessed us in so many ways.
3.A good day..not a perfect one...but a good one.
4.Watching the new reality show "Wipe out" how funny was that!
5.Sitting in the sand with the sun shining.

LY..prayers going out.....Tracie

Monday, June 23, 2008 9:44 PM CDT

I spoke with Dr.Berkowitz today and his suggestion was instead of putting Abi on any more meds she should go to see Linda her
Therapist from Children's Hospital to help deal with her anxiety.
Also he wants her on a steady dose of Motrin and then use the codeine after that as needed instead of the other way around.

The Codeine is really eating her stomach up.....If it does get to a point where this is as good as things are gonna get (which I really really hope isn't the case) Dr. B said we would talk about Pain medicine alternatives.

He did mention that when he talked to Dr. Partington the other day He wasn't ready to be okay with all this yet.
That makes me feel good to know that there is a chance we can
do something about this head pain.

So that's that!!

Ended up going to the craft store later today because the girls wanted something to paint....Matti got a wooden pirate ship,Kaydee a Princess castle and Abi a jewelry box.
They did a great job painting them and had fun too.

My mom's coming home on Wednesday and we can't wait..it seems like she's been gone forever!!

Well that's all I got for now..Take care and enjoy your day!

Prayers going out for Leslie,Michael,Kira,Cristina,Gavin,
Mark,Braydon,Olivia,Traci,Alison,Anna,Irene,and all the others in my heart..

MY 5
1.Being able to stay in PJ's until at least 9:00.
2.Putting gas in my car and being Thankful I don't have a Hummer (Not that I wouldn't take one if offered).
3.Matti and her spunky personality.
4.Abi and her love of clothes.
5.Kaydee has this little table she has made into her art area and she will sit there and color and create masterpieces all day if I let her.

LY Tracie

Sunday, June 22, 2008 9:41 PM CDT

I swear lately I feel like a Chemist I mix this medicine with this medicine and if that combination doesn't work I try a different combination.

The bad thing is if I don't give Abi her pain med she is miserable but when I give it to her she is so hyper!

The sleep Doctor never got back to me and boy it is such a major issue right now.

Once again I will be spending my Monday on the phone.
Abi could also use an anti-anxiety medicine she is so anxious.
Not sure who I call for that one?? Maybe I will call Dr. B for a little direction.

We decided to do a "Normal family" activity this weekend and go to the Hennepin county Fair.

I gave Abi all her meds so she would be okay but once we got there and started enjoying the outdoor fair activities Kaydee was sicker then a dog.

Not sure what was up but she was trying to throw up and had to lay down and kept needing to go to the bathroom....needless to say it was a very quick day at the fair.

Being the trained doctor that I am for the life of me I have no clue what is going on with her and this stomach thing????

I don't mean for this to be negative because I really don't feel that way.

Just telling you whats what!!!

Special prayers for Leslie who is back in the hospital...Cristina who is healing after Hip replacement surgery....and of course all the people in my heart.

Take care and look for the silver lining in your Monday.....

LY Tracie

Thursday, June 19, 2008 10:17 PM CDT

Just enjoying the sunshine and being together!!!

Have a nice weekend....LY Tracie

Wednesday, June 18, 2008 10:10 PM CDT

It's funny today the more I thought about what Dr.P said the more it was like ..It made sense to me!(I know it's rare that something a Doctor says ever makes sense to me but it did.)

She had major brain surgery and I'm expecting her to be pain free..It has only been two months.

I just keep thinking about before the surgery..I was so scared she would never walk again,breathe on her own....so I can defiantly live with head pain.

My new course of action is to give her time to heal.....
And myself too for that matter.

Today was pretty mellow we went to Sams club and then home to hang out in the pretty sunshine.

Later tonight I worked in the garden it is so hard to stay ahead of the weeds.....tomorrow I think I will be moving some plants around to decorate the side of the house a little. I love working outside.

So for today I'm not going to count the headaches or how many medications we are having to use..I'm counting my Many Blessings! Focusing on the Good!!

MY 5 Tonight

1.Seeing a friend of ours who is currently having treatments for Cancer...and He looked so good. (You go Team A)
2.Changing glasses so I can see things in a different light.
3.Enjoying being home and being together.
4.Watching "Wife Swap" tonight and knowing how lucky I am to be married to Paul.
5.Being outside gardening.

Prayers going out to Michael,Cristina continued healing,Leslie healing after surgery
,Mark,KIRA,Alison,Anna,
Olivia & Traci,Gavin,Braydon,PJ,Nichole

LY..Have a good one...Tracie

Tuesday, June 17, 2008 10:08 PM CDT

Today was a better day for Abi (thank goodness)granted not where we want to be.

I did hear from N-surg finally and basically they said with the extent of what Abi went through with this surgery she could still have a lot of healing going on.

So for now Dr. Partington wants to wait this head pain out at least a couple weeks unless of course it gets worse.

So for now we will keep her on the medications and hope that they are temporary.

I called her sleep specialist because she needs something to help her sleep....she is waking up several times a night and getting to sleep for her is almost an impossible task.

Funny thing is the Nurse said she was pretty sure He would not want to put her on any sleep medications while she is on narcotics.
I hope when I speak with him tomorrow we can work something out.

I keep reading more and more about Faith's Lodge and the more I read about it the more I can't wait to go.
It sounds like a place to gather "Peace" and I could sure use some right about now.

Please pray for Cristina (Fellow Chiari friend)who just had surgery.
Prayers for a friend of ours Leslie who also had surgery.

Prayers for Olivia & Traci for pain relief,Alison,mark,Michael,Anna for relief,Braydon,Gavin,
Nichole and Family,Kira..and many more.

If you could please look up in the sky and find the brightest little star and wish Sophia Happy Birthday!!

Take care everyone......As always Thank you for being here for us.

LY Tracie

Monday, June 16, 2008 9:47 PM CDT

Thanks to everyone who helped us raise money for the Cancer society!! The Lemonade brought in lots of $$$ for a great cause. Thank You (Special Thanks to our Cookie sponsor Becky)

Been a little crazy around here today..Abi has had a terrible day and we can't seem to get in touch with anyone at N-surgery. That's a little frustrating since I called last Thursday!!
Head pain isn't really being relieved by her meds anymore..I'm praying tomorrow is better.

I'm not sure why I'm not on the phone yelling and screaming.
I guess I'm kind of tired of going in for something and getting that fixed but then being left with another problem.
It gets so draining...Why can't we just get it right just once????

Matti ended up getting strep pretty bad again...ended up waking on Sunday and not being able to swallow without a lot of pain.
She is on an antibiotic again so lets hope that kicks it this time around.

Kaydee cried on and off today about a bad stomach ache not sure what that is all about....never seems to amaze me how things always come in bushels it can never be one thing at a time.

The good news is we got to see some people we haven't seen for a while at the Lemonade stand on Saturday..then that night we got together with some friends for a little karaoke
and really had a lot of fun.

I guess you just learn to take the good with the bad....but I have to tell you when the good comes it's sweet!

Leave a note if you can..sending a prayer is fine too!

Thanks for coming By........LY Tracie

Prayers going out to Leslie,Mark,Olivia,Traci,Anna,Cristina,Kira,Alison,Michael,PJ,
Braydon,Hopekids,Gavin,Nichole,EV,Linda and Family

Thursday, June 12, 2008 10:17 PM CDT

Ok so my plan to not use medication didn't work out too well..
I guess I changed my mind around 9:00am when Abi was getting pretty uncomfortable.

I did decide to call N-surg ..so when they got back to me I was sure to tell them that NOTHING has changed for her.
Terri was going to talk with Dr. P and get back to us.

They may decide to turn her shunt way up...the only problem is if it's the wrong thing to do it's obvious..Having High pressure is an ugly thing!

If they do decide to do that I want to wait until Monday and not do it on Friday.

Abi is so excited about the "Lemonade to help fight Cancer"
(This Sat. 12-2 in our front yard)that she would be crushed to miss it because of head pain.

Well the girls all sat at the kitchen window when they came to tow Lilly (that's what the girls call our van) You would of thought it was a person,I even think Kaydee had a tear.

I explained she was going to the Car Hospital and then she would be home (I hope that's the case).
It is all about the Drama at our house..ha ha

Well enjoy your Friday ..please stop by and see us on Saturday 12-2 and have a cookie and a cup of Lemonade for a wonderful cause..Everyone can make a difference in this fight against cancer!!!

LY Tracie

Prayers going out

Wednesday, June 11, 2008 10:38 PM CDT

Please see Tuesdays entry to find out about The Girls and their Lemonade stand to raise $$ for the Fight against Cancer!

The night was long with all the storms booming around I couldn't get anyone to go to sleep until they knew it was over or at least calm.

I'm kind of going with a new plan tomorrow I'm going to try and get Abi off her stronger pain medications.
She is so emotional and worried all the time and of course you can't tell her to stop being that way because then she'll feel bad and cry more.

The bad news is it seems when I don't give her the strong stuff she doesn't get off the couch.
So I guess it's a decision....Up and crying or on the couch and quiet???????

I will let you know how it works out.

Today she was able to go over to see her BFF Elizabeth and get out of the house for a change..she was tired when she got home but Happy!

I keep thinking about our upcoming Vacation to "Faith Lodge"
It sounds so great and peaceful I just can't wait to go.
Since it is for Families like us it will be nice to go and not have to pretend that everything is fine.
We leave Mid July.(It's fun to say the word Vacation)

Had a visit from State Farm Insurance today they came and gave me an estimate on the accident damage.
When they asked when I would be getting it fixed I told Him I have to get it running first!

Well now there's a Tornado Watch so do I:

A. Go to bed and hope for the best.
B. Stay up until the threat of bad weather is over.
C. Go into a safe state of denial and pretend it's Sunny.
D. Get a full glass of Milk and the cookie jar.

Have a good day and do something nice for someone and for yourself.

LY

Prayers going out.............

Tuesday, June 10, 2008 9:48 PM CDT

The Christopherson Girls will be having a LEMONADE and COOKIE stand to raise money for "Relay For Life"..There are so many..Too Many people whose lives have been destroyed by Cancer please help us make a difference!

When: Saturday June 14th 12:00-2:00

Where: Our front yard

Cost : Donations

Rain or shine!!!!

FYI-New pictures in Photo Album LY

Monday, June 9, 2008 9:57 PM CDT

ATTENTION:
The Girls will be having a Lemonade stand to raise money for "RELAY FOR LIFE" Can't think of a more Important cause then to help the fight against Cancer!!!
Please come by and have a glass.....
June 20th 12:00-2:00

If you do not know how to get to us please E-mail us on our personal E-mail.

I love in a relationship when one of you can be lost and then the other can find you.

Riding with Paul today to go and pick up my Mom's car (My Van in pretty much dead in the driveway..not need a battery dead just I'm a 95 and been driven too long

dead)
I mentioned with a heavy sigh....."Are other peoples lives like this ,one trial after another?"
Paul came back with "Yes,just in different ways."
He went on to say how we are pretty blessed things could be a lot worse.

Before I took my Mom's car I went up to say Hi to my Grandmother who lives in the same building.....When she opened the door I asked her "How have you done this..How have you lived 90 years?"
She admitted to me that Her life was never really that hard...
"Nothing like yours is." Not sure if I found that comforting or not.

Somehow by the time I made it back home I had come to terms with my been beaten with a baseball bat feeling.

I just have to always remind myself... In every situation there is good you just have to find it....Keep the Faith!

Talked with N-surg today ..they called to ask about a prescription I ordered.
How has the turning down the shunt made a difference she asked??
I guess If it helped I wouldn't be ordering all these medications now would I!!!

The check system seems to be working nicely EXCEPT every time Kaydee loses a check she screams and throws herself to the floor screaming NO NO NO I don't want to lose a check!!!!
That's a definite problem .

MY 5
1. Almost an entire day with no fighting (I said almost).
2. My Moms car being available while she's in Florida.
3. Talking with a new person from State Farm that was actually very nice.
4.Beautiful Blue sky..not one cloud.
5.Milk and Toilet paper and paper towels at my door this morning (Oh and a bag of snickers).

Thanks for being here.......LY...Tracie

Sunday, June 8, 2008 10:19 PM CDT

Well..no new real drastic changes with Abi and her headaches??? How can they turn her shunt down that low and it makes no difference??? I'm baffled

Basically I guess we are stuck...but ya know what we will make the best of it! Kinda gets old "Waiting" I'm just gonna move forward.

Looks like baseball season ended early for Matti....she was pretty upset about playing so we told her if it doesn't make you happy and you don't enjoy doing it don't play..so she's out.

Kaydee still has her cough so maybe if I can force myself we might go to the Doctor again...I'm really trying to stay away from there this week though.

I'm looking forward to a little sunshine tomorrow the clouds are getting a little old.

Tomorrow starts the famous "Summer reward board" I have to find a way to keep Matti and Kaydee from fighting all summer so the check system seems to work....If they earn 5 checks they get Computer privileges.....10 checks they can play video games......30 checks they get to pick a prize.

The hard part is you can lose checks for things...Kaydee already started crying because she feels like she will never get a check.ha ha

It will be so nice to wake up tomorrow and drink my coffee instead of drinking it with a straw as I run around getting the girls ready for school.....I do look forward to being with them I miss them so much during the school year.

Hopefully we can do some sight seeing this summer..Kaydee wants to go see the Capital and Matti loves the Children's museum Abi really enjoys the Como Zoo.
It would be great to just do fun stuff all summer!!!!

Take care and enjoy the sunshine...Pretend it's Friday!

Prayers going out to ...The Fiterman Family,Micheal,Mark,Anna,Allison,Olivia,Traci,Kira,Cristina,Gavin,Lexi
Mrs.P's family,Auntie Ev,Braydon,Tom,many more in my heart

LY Tracie

"RELAY FOR LIFE"
June 20th..Opening ceremony starts at 7:00
ST Anthony High School Football Field.

5:45-6:00 "JoJO The Balloon Guy" will be there making Balloon Characters(He's the 3rd fastest balloon-character maker in the world).

Please stop by make a donation I can't think of a better cause then the Fight against Cancer!!!! Look for PJ!!!

Thursday, June 5, 2008 9:41 PM CDT

Today went fine and the news was good the syrinx is deflated.
Not gone of course but deflated.
We will take that news and be Thankful.

In terms of the headaches they decided to pretty much turn her shunt setting as low as it can go.
We are a little unsure if she is having too much pressure in her head or her pressure is low???

I will explain for those who are lucky enough not to know this.........If you think of the fluid in your brain in terms of measurement..and with a shunt you are able to control that amount... so the lower your setting is the less fluid you hold the higher the setting the more you hold.
I hope that helps you kind of understand what we are dealing with.

The problem here is if you make that mistake and go the wrong direction with the setting it can cause a whole new category of head pain.
We should know by tomorrow if that will be the case...it's like rolling the dice.

Best case scenario:
It helps her head pain and we don't go back to see N-Surg for three months and we all have a Great much needed summer!!!

Matti is feeling better because she is fighting with Kaydee.
Kaydee still has a cough I just think she will have it for the rest of her life.

Abi and I got caught in the Rain storm on the way back from Gillette.
We kept hearing that bad hail was coming so being stuck in traffic was making us a little nervous.
Abi closed her eyes and put her hands together and prayed for almost the entire trip home..It helped we arrived safely.
I've always told her that God takes it and deals with it way better then we do so just "Give it to God."

I hope now to have a week off of Doctor appointments..but if that doesn't pan out I know I'll rise to the challenge.

Thanks for spending the week with me....

MY 5 things I'm grateful for......

1.The syrinx deflated.
2.Hope for Abi's head pain.
3.Mrs.Peach and Mrs Hicks (Matti's and Abi's teachers)
4.Finally some offers to be a stand in while my Moms gone.
5.Getting home safely in a storm.

Prayers going out ..extra prayers for Shunt users..Yikes it's tough.

Love ya..have a nice weekend....Tracie

Wednesday, June 4, 2008 8:53 PM CDT

Wow what a crazy day in Christopherson Ville..

Dr. B called this morning because I needed help with Matti...He reported that from what he could tell Abi's syrinx is decompressed!!! Until I meet with Dr. Partington tomorrow I'm not going to do cartwheels because we still have this high pain level to deal with.
As any Chiari/SM family will tell you....you are never really out of the woods.

Matti got progressively worse over night and was up crying pretty much the entire night.
I got her into the clinic because I couldn't get her to eat and with MCAD that's pretty darn serious because her glucose drops so quickly.
They found out she had an extreme case of strep and they were debating if she should be put in the hospital.
Matti with little tears rolling down her face promised she would drink milkshakes or juice if she could just go home.

She kept her end of the deal but is still in alot of discomfort tonight.

Looks like her school year is ended.....

I woke up this morning feeling like I was drowning and I couldn't catch my breath.
I know people have it worse then me and some better but this is what it is and it's hard.
I really need a break but I'm not sure how to get one.

Sometimes I feel like I'm just doing something wrong??
I always try and open my arms to welcome blessings (Which I have many) but maybe when I'm opening my arms to catch them I'm facing the wrong way or something.

When I was sitting there watching Matti get blood taken I couldn't help but cry..I just want my children healthy.

Well thank you for letting me vent I always feel so much better.....I'm not being ungrateful I'm just being real.

LY ....Prayers going out

Tuesday, June 3, 2008 9:38 PM CDT

Yes, today was very long and Abi really didn't come out of sedation as well as usual.

I wish I could tell you the findings but these films are at such a different angle then usual...I've looked at them probably 20 times already and I don't have a clue?????

I think (Even though I hope I'm totally wrong) that I do see cord edema which is swelling inside the spinal cord but hopefully It's not that at all.

Dr. B could call with the results tomorrow if not we wait until Thursday and see Dr. Partington.

Things are a little out of sorts here Kaydee threw up today and Matti came home from school with a sore throat....I blame everything on this crazy weather!!!

Thanks for coming by....LY

Monday, June 2, 2008 10:14 PM CDT

I'm trying to stay positive about tomorrows MRI ....I think the perfect scenario would be :
The syrinx is collapsed and all we
need to do is turn the shunt up to get rid of her headaches.

The worst scenario would be:
The syrinx is still there and
really has been no big change.

I have to say if that syrinx is still there I will be crushed!
But for tonight I won't even go there.

It was good to see Dr. B today and he let Kaydee come along so he could check her out too.
From what he could tell her lungs sound clear there is definite fluid in both ears.
So for tonight I'm trying Delsum....we will see.

Dr B wasn't too happy with how Abi has been..He seemed a little frustrated that surgery has made her worse there was even a little talk about second opinions.
For me I can't even think about anything like that right now.

We also decide that we will move forward with an MRI for Matti.
Leg and foot pain continue to be an issue with Headaches and of course the tip toe walking.
Matti already has MCAD why does she need anything else??
I think anytime you get your first MRI of your child it is so scary because the "What ifs" fill your head.

One Day At a time........That is all I have to get through.

My mom is off to Florida tomorrow and since I didn't get any
substitute offers I guess I'm on my own (Mom wise).

Well Abi has been crying now for an hour on/off so I better go in there....I think she gets nervous the night before sedation....I know I do.

Prayers going out to my Caringbridge Family
Please send some prayers Abi's way tomorrow ..thanks for checking in.

LY Tracie (Super Mom) ha ha

Sunday, June 1, 2008 10:02 PM CDT

Well it is off to the doctor tomorrow for Abi's pre-op for her MRI on Tuesday.
I also hopefully will be able to get an appointment for Kaydee ...I almost thought she was getting better today and I let her outside but I'm paying for that tonight.
She still has such a bad chest cough sometimes she can hardly catch her breath.Last night I slept on the floor by her bed because when she can't clear her throat she tends to throw up..I'm sure it's just a bad case of pneumonia(I better not joke about that).

Abi cried on/off the entire weekend except for today..they put her on a new pain med. on Friday and I just think it was too much,it helped the pain but the emotional pain was awful.
I ended up taking her off that and switching to the med we were on before.
Please tell me our summer isn't going to be like this!!

Matti had her first practice tonight for coaches pitch and was so excited to go..30 minutes later there's Paul and Matti walking up the sidewalk with Matti's big blue eyes filled with tears.
I think she was just overwhelmed by it all because T-ball was so much slower...she said she will go back and try it again.
I think she isn't totally well yet either still has a little cough.

well defiantly some challenging things going on BUT all I do is step into my closet spin three times and ......WHAM BOOM BAM!!! I'm Super Mom able to handle anything that hits my fan!!!

MY 5 tonight
1.I no longer have my little kitchen TV so I can't get stressed out about "Young and the restless."

2.When I was walking Lola tonight I laughed when I thought to myself "I've never seen a squirrel poop or pee for that matter" do they and has anyone seen it???
,
3.The fact that I have a little mattress for weekends like this when I camp out on the girls floor.

4.Friends

5.My Mom being able to go see My Brother and family in Florida on Tuesday...Even though we will be so lost without her (anyone want to stand in while she's gone)???????

Take care and keep your Super hero suit handy never know when you'll need it....LY Tracie

Prayers: Lexi,Ben,Traci,Olivia,Anna,Braydon,Gavin,Cristina,Allison,Mark,
Micheal,EV,PJ's new Grand babies,Kira,Gillian's Mom ,all those in my heart..There's many more

Thursday, May 29, 2008 9:30 PM CDT

Abi's headaches are getting worse and I can hardly wait until Tuesday for the MRI.

Seems like now anytime she gets up and walks around she ends up nauseated and has a headache even on her meds.

Kaydee is doing terrible her cough is just bad..she ended up missing her preschool graduation tonight.

Matti still has low energy and a bad cough I was kind of glad it rained because tonight was her first baseball practice.

You'd think with all the medication I'm dishing out lately I worked at Snyder's Pharmacy.
Abi and I agreed we will not be spending our summer this way!!
We will be telling Dr. Partington that on Thursday.

Well I really don't mean to sound negative but there's lots of poop in the yard right now.
But I will keep waking up in the morning and Thanking God for the day and putting one foot in front of the other.

MY 5
1.Being at home with the girls.
2.Rain
3.High hopes for the summer
4.Prayers
5.End of the month.

LY Tracie

Have a nice weekend..LY

Wednesday, May 28, 2008 9:29 PM CDT

This morning was particularly hard for me and I'm not sure why?
I guess some days you feel stronger then others.

Abi was able to go to her pizza party and see all her friends.
I enjoyed being able to chat with her teacher.

When I picked Kaydee up from preschool her voice was pretty much gone.
Looks like we have another one to add to the sick list.

Thought Matti seemed better today but by evenning she felt pretty bad again and went to bed with Tylenol and a cold wash cloth on her head.

Today we moved Abi back in her own bed..Kaydee was getting pretty uncomfortable sleeping on the little roll away.
I think the only issue will be helping her on the ladder.

Mom came over today to help out...she is getting ready to leave for Florida to visit my Brother for 3 weeks.
She will be missed here that is for sure.

I swear lately I feel like a hamster running on a wheel not going in any certain direction but trying really hard.

I know God is here and that gives me peace...I see the proof in Abi's smile.

Enjoy your day....LY Tracie

Needed prayers going out to Ben and Lexi,and to all of you who are kept in my heart.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008 10:05 PM CDT

Today I was convinced that the accident I had was my fault!
The State Farm adjuster called me and basically talked me into
I'm not sure what?? She talked fast and kept asking me the same questions over and over but pushed me to answer.

I guess the older woman who crashed her car into mine was appalled to think it was her fault!!!
She was very upset by even the thought of having to pay for damages.
My thoughts are if you crash into the entire passenger side of someones vehicle and then you don't think it's your fault you basically should hang up your keys and not be driving in the first place.
I pretty much told Hagatha the horrible that I felt she was pressuring me and in order not to give false answers I would not be pushed into answering.
I guess I just don't understand what I did that deserves the treatment she seems to be dishing out.

Matti's not feeling to good and Abi didn't have a good day either...today was a long one that's for sure.
Could of used an extra set of hands....
Abi really wants to go up to school for a pizza party tomorrow but I'm thinking she won't be able to....we will see.

I might have to take Matti in to the Dr. if she doesn't get better soon.

I think I'll pretend this day was written with a dry erase marker that way I can take my little eraser and start over tomorrow fresh.

I just want a better plan for Abi because this just isn't working for her or me.
We need our life back...I know the one we had before surgery wasn't perfect but it was a whole lot better then this!

I just keep praying that God will show me the way..because right now I'm a little lost.

Thanks for checking in as usual your support means everything to all of us!!

LY Tracie

Monday, May 26, 2008 9:58 PM CDT

Abi was really wanting a "Family Day" so that is what we did.
Even though the day was a little on the gloomy side we made the best of it!

Seems Abi is needing more medication now so I will be calling tomorrow just to give them the heads up.

I will be calling Farmers tomorrow to start the ball rolling on the Insurance accident thing.

Matti will be home tomorrow because she has a sore throat and a bad cough and defiantly needs rest.

Prayers going out to the victims of the tornado... that was just awful makes you wake up and really appreciate what you have.

Prayers going out to Traci,Olivia,Allison,Kira,Cristina,Mark,Braydon,Ev,Gavin,Moms Club,Hopekids,Micheal,Anna,Families of illness

Thank you for stopping..........LY

Thursday, May 22, 2008 10:04 PM CDT

The morning didn't start well for Abi at all she felt so sick I just knew she was going to start throwing up.
I keep praying that everyday when she wakes up the story will be different and she will feel good.

She does turn it around by the afternoon so I am thankful for that.
She is up moving but needs her meds I'm kind of getting used to giving them now.

Matti had a field trip today and a party at school so there was no way she was going to stay home.
Her voice is almost gone and it seems she is getting a bad chest cold.
I do have to say we made it a while without an illness for her and that makes me happy.
I will be making her stay home tomorrow though.

Kaydee has been a little on the difficult side but even with that she is such a loving little girl..loves hugs and kisses and always wants to sit on your lap.

Lola is wearing a cone collar because she keeps scratching a sore she has by her ear..since I'm a Doctor I decided to treat it myself instead of a 300$$$ vet visit.

I'd like to share my story with you about my trip to Cub today.................

MY TRIP TO CUB by Tracie Christopherson

The good news is I was able to go to Cub this afternoon.

The bad news was I forgot my coupons.

The good news was Cub always has coupons at the front when you walk in.

The bad news was Kaydee was with me and she's now to big to ride in a cart.

The good news was I bought her a donut so she was fine with walking.

The bad news was I only had 70 dollars to spend and my total was 82 dollars.

The good news was he forgot to subtract my coupons so I ended up with change left.

The bad news was as we were leaving the parking lot a lady in a PT cruiser backed out and crashed into the passenger side of my van.

The good news was Kaydee and I were a little scared but not hurt.

The bad news was the passenger door and back side door are dented in.

The good news was the lady explained she was tired and her arthritis was acting up.

The bad news was after I patiently listened to why she crushed the side of my car she yelled "Why didn't you see me?"

The good news was the police showed up to take the report so I couldn't cause the older woman any bodily harm!!

The bad news was my Ice cream sandwiches didn't do to well in the warm car.

The good news was we made it home alive and I had Wine in the refrigerator!

Have a safe and Joyous Memorial day....LY Tracie

Thursday, May 22, 2008 6:39 AM CDT

Happy Thursday everyone!!

Today I would like to start out saying HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Mrs. Peach (Matti's Teacher).
Matti went from a child who screamed the minute she thought of school to a child who never wants to miss a day.
Mrs.P has gone above and beyond what she gets paid for she is a gift to the teaching profession that is for sure.
I'm so glad she was born!!

Not to much to report on the home front everything is still pretty much the same...Not where we would like to be BUT taking the blessings where we find them.

Rocks in Your Shoes- song by Emily West

I guess you gotta make a choice
when it hits the fan
You can get a little down or
get a little mad
when there's stones in the road
only one thing to do
You gotta learn to walk with rocks in your shoes!

Have a nice day..LY

Tuesday, May 20, 2008 10:08 PM CDT

The funny thing about the phase Abi is in right now is most the day she feels pretty bad and does not leave the couch.

Then there are those couple of hours here and there(usually thirty minutes after meds) that she does get up and for a brief moment I almost forget how things really are.

It is such a roller coaster ride!

The problem is if people see her during her "Good period"
they assume she is doing well.
Not that I want people to think she's not doing well but I think things are asked of her that she couldn't possibly deliver right now.

I've tried several times to go without her pain meds because I would hate to keep giving her all this if she has healed and doesn't need it.
Never fails we always end up back on the pain med schedule.

I just can't help but think something is wrong...as the time continues it seems we are adopting more and more symptoms.

We haven't had neck pain since surgery really but now we do...also she is having her breathing issues where at times she can't catch her breath......I could call N-surg but I guess I'm just waiting until the 3rd when we have the MRI.

There has been so much crying around here today I was worried we'd run out of Kleenex.
Abi is just so sad and then Kaydee and Matti fought all evening.
Matti cried on my shoulder so many times I had to change my Pj's.
If I tell Abi to brush her teeth she will start crying because she's overwhelmed by opening the toothpaste.

Hopefully tomorrow will be a dry day!

Final show of Idol and boy we are all cheering for David Cook...Little Archie is driving us all crazy with his "Gosh"
and "OH" and "Thank you so much"how innocent can one kid be?

Well have a nice Wednesday and keep your arms open so Gods Blessings can get in.

LY Tracie

Prayers going out (you know who you are)

Monday, May 19, 2008 9:44 PM CDT

" We cannot change the cards we are
dealt, just how we play the hand.
--Randy Pausch

I just really like that saying it hits home with me.
I try so hard to play my hand with a positive faith filled effort...even though it doesn't always happen exactly like that but I sure try.

Abi has been very emotional lately and is crying alot not sure if it is the medication or if she's just tired of feeling bad.

That is so true what was said in the guest book,it is amazing how children who do deal with pain on a frequent basis are so functioning.
Abi can be feeling pretty bad but then if she wants to do something she will...eventually though the pain usually wins in the end.

It still amazes me though how strong kids can be.

Have a nice Tuesday..Thanks for being here

LY Tracie

Sunday, May 18, 2008 10:05 PM CDT

I don't enjoy keeping Abi on pain pills it bothers me.
I'm more of a let's fix it or at least check out why she is having such bad headaches. For now I have to accept that's the way it is.
I guess we wait until the MRI ...Then What????

I'm trying really hard to get myself back on some kind of self-kindness routine.
It always seems like when we have a surgery and times are the most stressful I take it out on myself and that only adds to the pile.
I did get out and work in the garden this weekend I love that!! even though I used muscles that I didn't even know I had,I'll be lucky to lift my arms tomorrow.

We all spent alot of time in the yard this weekend Abi was able to be out playing some and sitting some.
It was just nice all of us being together..I love when everything turns green it just raises your spirits.

My Mom and I gave our sun porch a makeover..I just needed a place to go ....somewhere not so busy and where I can focus a little and refresh. I was out there most of the weekend I think.

That is really all I have tonight I'm pretty tired.

Prayers going out for: Micheal,Kira,Cristina,Olivia,Anna,Mark,Gavin,Braydon,Allison,
hopekids,Chiari families, Auntie Ev,MCAD Families,so many more that are in my heart.

Thanks for being here:)

Thursday, May 15, 2008 10:00 PM CDT

Have a nice weekend....................

Happy Birthday Nick K
Love,
Abi,Matti,Kaydee

Wednesday, May 14, 2008 10:16 PM CDT

My morning didn't start out the best today..I'll try to sum it up. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

Finally after hours of painful disaster I decided to go to the one person who could help me turn this day around..God

So there I sat at a stoplight pleading my case.

"God as you can tell my morning hasn't been the best,I'm feeling really overwhelmed and could use your help".

I have to share with you that keeping all of this organized has been tough and I'm an organization freak....Matti and school,Kaydee pre-school,Abi's Tutor,Abi's pain control,Therapy appointments,Dr.appointments,Daily life basics,Pet care,Taking to and from school
You get the idea.

The problem I have with the Medical profession is so many throw the Tennis ball in the Air and stop there!! Where is the follow thru? Don't tell me we are going to play Tennis if your not going to hit the ball!

After dropping Abi at Therapy I thought I would go check on this MRI scheduling?? The scheduler had the orders but had not scheduled anything???
I'm sure when the lady was working with me I had fire coming out of my nose she's lucky I didn't burn her eyebrows off.

So we now have an MRI scheduled for June 3rd.

Therapy informed us that PT was no longer needed and they were going to sign off on it?????????
When I questioned why...the answer was it was ordered to help Abi pick things up and to be able to balance herself at home. I guess those skills come in handy if you are eating and drop your sandwich or walking a tight rope at the circus!
My question was what about the fact that she can't move her neck or walk straight?? That's probably issues Neurosurgery
has to take care of was her reply.

It is a wonder to me that I'm still even on the Tennis court at all. I hate Tennis!!

I am trying really hard to be Tigger I don't want to be Eeyore but for goodness sakes.

Sometimes I just sit and laugh because it's just all so funny ..life in general.
Paul and I have a new favorite country song it sings about living your life with rocks in your shoes.

Thanks as always for being here to listen to me..by the way God did help me out..when I returned back to my Moms after Abi's therapy My Mom and Kaydee had made us a special lunch with Mint ice tea (My favorite) and deviled eggs,hot dogs and a pretty table cloth with umbrellas in our drink glasses.
The Power Of Prayer!!

If your day is heading in the wrong direction stop and talk to God for a second It really helps....LY

Tuesday, May 13, 2008 10:38 PM CDT

Well Sam saved the day and unclogged our drain....It wasn't a rubber ducky or a small dog But a washcloth!!

I know not very exciting but I've never been so Happy to see a dirty washcloth ever in my life.

Soaking in a bath at night is the only thing that keeps me sane,so without it I was a mess.

Tomorrow is a big therapy day hopefully Abi will be up for the challenge.

I hate to say it but that's all I've got to report tonight...sometimes days seem like others and right now that tends to be the case.

Still no news on the MRI date????

Thanks for dropping in...LY

Monday, May 12, 2008 10:05 PM CDT

I kind of feel like we are on a game show lately.........."Which Narcotic will we use today"?????

After talking with neurosurgery again today and telling them she doesn't leave the couch and then at night she can't sleep they decided to take her off the Oxycodone and put her on Tylenol #3 and motrin.
Today wasn't much different she did get up and work with her Tutor for an hour but then it was back to the couch.

She is really trying to feel good she will get up and try to go outside or just be up... but then back to the couch she goes.
I just feel so bad that she just lays there...I just don't know what else to do until we can get that MRI.

One day at a time...

Not sure if it was the stress getting to me or all the Mothers day eating but I was pretty BLAH last night and had to get sick a couple of times ..poor Paul I was keeping him pretty busy.

Our Tub is still clogged I swear there must be a rubber Ducky down there or a small dog.
Lucky for us we have our "Camping shower" that's what we call our basement shower because it looks like a shower at a campsite. It beats going outside and using the garden hose!
We are Hoping Sam will be able to figure it out tomorrow.

I just feel like I need to sit and Hummmmmm a yoga noise and calm down..I just feel like I'm all over the place.
Perfect example I go to the store get out of the car my purse drops everything goes in every direction,money,lipstick,notes and as I'm bending down to pick it up the car right next to me takes off I'm glad I didn't get run over.....I guess if I died at Target people who knew me would say " How beautiful She died doing what she loved".ha ha

Tomorrows another day...think I'll polish my armor before I go to bed.

Thanks for checking in........leave a note(Please)

Sunday, May 11, 2008 10:15 PM CDT

I started the weekend so consumed with "Stuff" Everything from our tub being clogged to Abi not feeling well.

As I've mentioned Abi's headaches have been getting worse so On Friday when we saw Neurosurgery they were not to happy with the way things are going either.
They decided to start her on a narcotic pain medication and she is suppose to take it every 6 hours..the hope was that her pain would stay away on more of a regular basis.
They are also setting her up for an MRI very soon.

The weekend continued but even on the strong med she was still having pain and couldn't get off the couch.
I called the Dr. and they increased her dose and I can see it is helping but I'm also having to give motrin???

It just doesn't make sense to me why the pain is increasing instead of decreasing??? It makes me feel like we have a problem...As Abi told the Doctor "I've Got issues."

It always seems like when a holiday comes along it makes life tougher.
There is that pressure to have that "Perfect" day.

Waking up this morning and looking at my three little girls around me with their handmade gifts and my Husbands wonderful card I have never felt more blessed.

All the "Stuff" went away and I realized I am the luckiest Mom ever!!
I won't lie to you being me isn't easy and by no means is my life a trip to the spa....But the love that my Husband and daughters give me every single day (Not just Mothers Day) is what I feel like I've waited my entire life for.

So sure tomorrow will be another day at the batting cages and I'm sure to get hit in the face a couple times..But it is my family that keeps me going through all that.

So I have to say all pressures aside I had the "Perfect" day
and I'm Thankful not just once a year but every single day that I am A Mom.

Hope all of you had a Perfect day too!! LY Tracie

Wednesday, May 7, 2008 9:51 PM CDT

Abi had therapy today and it went good..she is really having walking issues as far as balance and walking straight.
As far as the headache issue I guess we traded Arm and neck pain for head pain..I really wasn't wanting to trade just give away.

We go and see N-surg on Friday not sure what that will accomplish.

Celebrated my moms Birthday tonight ...she is such an amazing person I just can't thank God enough for her.

My foot is so much better BUT the bad news is I'm having a bad reaction to the medicine....with the reaction I'm having I would rather have the painful foot back.

I catch myself feeling negative lately and I think I'm just in a funk for now....I had a therapist tell me once that every surgery I go through with Abi is a "Trauma" for me.
I wasn't so sure then but as time goes on I realize more and more the effect of that trauma.
It changes you some for the good some for the bad.

I think I will call it a week and get back in touch with you on Sunday night....As always Thank you for your love and support.

LY Tracie

Tuesday, May 6, 2008 9:30 PM CDT

Headaches are starting to be a little bit of a problem..seems to be getting worse.
Matti had to catch a ride this morning with the neighbor to school because Abi just couldn't pull it together..Nausea and car rides usually don't go together very well.

It was so beautiful out I decided to spend sometime fighting with the windows.. we have the old take glass off add screen kind.
If anyone is done with their windows we will take them!!
It was nice to let the fresh air in it just makes life seem easier when it's sunny.

Paul's parents went to eat with Matti at school for Grandparents day and tomorrow it's My Moms turn.

We will be celebrating my Moms Birthday tomorrow even though it is officially on Thursday.

The good news is we are home and being a family and that is the best Mothers day gift ever.

LY

Monday, May 5, 2008 9:28 PM CDT

I hate going to the Doctor....I left knowing it wasn't broken but there is a reason why I can't lift my big toe???
Very interesting it's like a little mystery.....anyway I got some strong Anti-Inflammatory medicine and in two weeks if it is not better I have to go to a specialist to check out the tendons,ligaments and blah blah.

Abi is doing well continues to have headaches and is very twitchy to say the least almost like her body shivers all over.
Hopefully these things will smooth out.

Her Home Teacher came today and she is great and also someone we already knew so that helps.
They will be working together an hour each day.

Trying to take a little break from the "Pain " stuff and just concentrate more on "Healing".
It always takes me a while to come down after the Hospital..the entire time you are there it is like your on guard.

I just Thank God so much for each new day...and I'm trying to appreciate the good..

Thanks for coming by....LY

Sunday, May 4, 2008 10:02 PM CDT

We are taking things a day at a time here...I've learned that one good day doesn't make tomorrow the same....but it works the same for bad days tomorrow could be better.

Abi is doing amazingly well, how she does it I will never know.
She is up and around still having way more headaches then we've seen in a long while.
Her pain seems controlled with her medications so that's a blessing.

I just hope she keeps moving forward and doesn't stumble back.

Well tomorrow I will be going for a Doctor visit....I have had pain on/off in my Big toe and part of my foot for 3 months now..the bad news is all weekend I couldn't sleep because of throbbing pain.
I also now can't move my big toe??? Paul and my Mom have been after me to get it checked i just never did...we will see???

It just never gets boring over here......

Poor Paul I had him doing "Guy chores" all weekend one project turned into fifty.
I bet He will be glad to go to work and rest.

Thank you again for being on this journey with us.....LY

Special prayers going out to my Great Auntie Ev she is in the hospital and things are not going so well..If you could send some prayers her way I'd appreciate it.

MY 5

1.Kaydee saying she doesn't want to ever be a Grandma because it makes you walk funny!!
2.Matti and Paul being able to go to the Swarm game on Sat.
(Thanks Hopekids)
3.Abi doing better
4.Our Home..I love it here
5.Knowing it is only 1 more day then American Idols on!!!

Happy Birthday Nichole!!

Friday, May 2, 2008 3:33 PM CDT

Just a quick update..we didn't get to see the Doctor so that was disappointing.
I just wanted Him to look at her because it is soooooo obvious
something isn't right!! Oh well

So their famous answer to everything is adjust the shunt..so they went down on her setting.
I really don't like when they do that on a Friday because if she has a bad reaction then we are stuck.

Can you tell I'm a little frustrated?
Well I guess like my Mom and I always say....If it's something it will probably get worse if it's not it will get better.

"WAIT"

Have a dry weekend (Not wine wise)

LY Thank you for your support

Thursday, May 1, 2008 9:22 PM CDT

Had to change the picture couldn't look at it anymore....

I wish I could say things are getting better but they aren't.

Today was probably one of the worse days Abi has had.
It just makes no sense to me...when you leave a hospital you continue to recover not get worse.

I called N-surg and they are getting us in tomorrow so we will see what they say.

I did cancel her therapy appointment so she won't have to go through that too.

She's very frustrated and I'm right there with her.

As far as what Dr. Partington did surgery wise...He re-opened her Chiari site (The back of her head half way up and down between her shoulder blades) What he wanted to accomplish was to replace a catheter that was currently in her spinal cord placed in the middle of her syrinx (fluid filled cyst).
He did that and instead of having the tube just hang outside the spinal cord to drain (that didn't work that is what he did last time ) he made an incision behind her right ear and connected the tube to her shunt hardware that was already in place.
(Her shunt that is in her ventricles runs from her head and around her ear then floats around the abdomen area).

That is the best I can explain it..funny how it sounds so simple.

Thanks for checking on us...LY

Wednesday, April 30, 2008 10:18 PM CDT

I have found on several occasions that sometimes you just feel so out there.

I just feel like I have no control over anything in my house.
I know I know we never really have control God does BUT I'm talking about the "Pretend control" the control we think we have until proven otherwise.

I remember one time Abi dropped a container of marbles and they went everywhere ....the harder I tried to pick them up the faster they seemed to roll.
That is exactly how I feel right now.

I bet your all wondering how Physical therapy went today...Well after driving 30 minutes and using fifteen dollars in gas to get there..the therapy consisted of Abi peddling an exercise bike for ten minutes and then the therapist pretty much pushed Abi's neck around for ten minutes and gave us a handout and we left.

I will give it another try on Friday, but seriously!!!

By the time we got home Abi was not feeling very good...I guess I am going to make a call tomorrow she is having pretty strong headaches right where her main shunt valve is located??? Not sure what that is about.
I do know they really messed with all that during surgery so hopefully something isn't wrong and this is just the healing process.

The good news is the million stitches on the back of her head are really healing nicely..they really look good.

I know tomorrow is May and I've never really understood the "May Basket" thing.
I guess growing up in Texas if you tried to sneak and leave anything on someones porch there was a good chance you'd get shot.
Do we do it to remind people that April is over?? I remember when we first moved in to our house and there was a knock at the door ...standing there was our neighbor and her 6 kids with a basket and they all said something about May...I closed the door wondering to myself if they were going to do this at the beginning of every month???

MY 5

1.Patrick Dempsey is on Ellen tomorrow ...Abi and I are super excited!!!

2.Waking up to sunshine.

3.Ice cream

4.Paul's parents taking and picking up the girls from school all week.

5.Ditsy doodle (Brooke) going home on American Idol..nothing personal she seems very nice.
Actually they all can go all we need is David Cook.

Have a good day...LY

Tuesday, April 29, 2008 9:30 PM CDT

Hi...
Today started off rough and the nurse from our insurance company (Yes if you have over 50,000 doctor visits in a year they give you your own personal nurse) anyway she suggested I call the Neurosurgeon and let them know she's not doing that great.

I decided not to because I figured they would say "It's probably the pain meds" or "Is she throwing up does she have a fever" I decided to sit on the egg and see what happens.

I did however take her off the codeine to see if that is whats making her so nauseated..granted it made her a little more uncomfortable today but I kind of need to know.

She did feel better after dinner just in time for "American Idol" We are huge David Cook fans !!

The girls are doing good Matti is keeping busy with school
and her new fashion design interests.....and Kaydee is into playing her guitar (we found it at a garage sale) and writing song lyrics.

All in all we are hanging in there taking things as they come.

Thanks for being here

LY Tracie

Monday, April 28, 2008 9:56 PM CDT

What I believe in my heart is that God wants the very best for us.
It does get confusing when you try and figure out who is to blame when bad things happen.

For me when the boat is sinking I think it is pointless to look for the hole and the person who did it.....Instead I would rather grab for a life preserver and someone to save me.

That person is God for me.

He gives me strength to do things that I could not do on my own.
Do I believe He can heal Abi?? I don't think so because if that were the case I wouldn't need to ask for that He would not let her suffer like she has.

I always picture God holding Abi during her surgeries and just being with her no matter what the outcome.

As far as the waiting, I pray for answers to things that seem unclear.
Blindly I give things up to God because It seems they always come back to me a little more understood then when they left.

I try and keep it as simple as I can because Faith to me isn't complicated.

Anyway.....

Today was not the best for little Abi she felt pretty bad all day.
Having lots of nausea and today chest pains were a new symptom not sure what those were about.
I'm basically taking it all in and trying not to panic but if it does ever go above my comfort level I'll start yelling.
I can only hope tomorrow will be better.

Gillette called today and set up her therapy appointments..looks like it will be twice a week for 4 weeks instead of 2.
So we will be driving out there every wed & Friday.
We will be starting that this week and the thought of doing that right now has Abi feeling less then thrilled.

Have a nice Tuesday

MY 5

1.It makes me laugh that with all the money Miley C. has all she can buy to wear is a sheet?????

2. It makes me happy that people are so passionate about their faith.

3. Looking at all the cards made for Abi from Mrs.Peach's class those 1st graders are so sweet they even made cards for Matti to let her know they care about her too.

4. Knowing tomorrow brings a new day.

5. Abi and her BFF Elizabeth fighting via e-mail over boys.
(Wait is that a good thing???)

Prayers and hugs going out....

Herein lies the battle of faith-
to hold on and keep believing God
despite what our natural senses
tell us.
Our challenge is to wait in faith
for the day of God's favor and salvation.

JIM CYMBALA (From the book "Wait")

Sunday, April 27, 2008 10:01 PM CDT

Seems like I've had this rush of emotion ever since I got home yesterday.
I'm so happy to be home with my family but I feel so disconnected and numb.

I woke up this morning thinking "We made it" the surgery is over and by Gods grace we actually made it.

I can't help but feel that Abi is confused..She knows that the surgery has left her hurting alot worse then when she went in.

The bad part is I can't guarantee her that she will get better..I want to believe that the surgery will make a big difference but I can't assure her something that I'm not sure of.

You never get used to watching your child hurting..I don't care how much it occurs.
I wait everyday for change the problem is after a surgery like that you never know if they will be welcome changes or catastrophic.

So far she is just having pretty bad pain on her left side from just below her ear to her shoulder..lucky for her she still can't feel her shoulder or that would probably hurt too.
I could tell today she is just sick of all this because she let out a couple frustration yells.

I think this is just going to be a slow process.

I read the book "Wait" by Marianne Richmond tonight at bedtime (I love that book) trying to explain to the girls that God knows what we need.
Even though at times we know what we want it may not be what's suppose to happen for us.

The bad news is sometimes God makes us "Wait" for those answers....But in that wait our faith grows and for me I usually end up leaning more on Him then using my own will.
Maybe God gives us more time so we can battle it out with ourselves.
I know with me no matter how long it takes to figure it out God always wins.
I can picture God sitting up there sipping an Ice Coffee watching me and saying to Himself "You'd think she'd learn by now I'm going to be the driver."

Each day here at the Christopherson rehabilitation center will probably be a new adventure so buckle your seat belts and keep your hands in the car at all times and secure your belongings!!

Thanks again for all the love and support...Abi loves reading the E-mails from her fan club.

LY Tracie

Sunday, April 27, 2008 9:53 AM CDT

Sorry I haven't been in touch!

Yes, we are home left yesterday.

I am very overwhelmed to say the least...Funny how when your in the hospital all you think about is getting home..But...
when you finally get home you feel like your standing in the middle of a highway at rush hour.

Abi is doing pretty well, actually the same sick in the am and uncomfortable until she takes her stomach and pain medicine then she's better.

It is funny to have her walking around with a Granny walker but if she doesn't her body seems to automatically lean backwards and we are afraid she would fall also her feet get crossed alot.

I have forgotten how busy the girls can be..wow!
The good news is they both have colds so they are a tiny bit slower then usual.
I will report more tonight once again sorry to keep you hanging.

LY Tracie

Friday, April 25, 2008 11:10 AM CDT

Good news................

Hope I don't jinx myself BUT looks like if Abi's Physical therapy goes well and she's walking better we will be able to leave tomorrow.

I'm praying that it works out she has been working so hard.

It always makes you a little nervous when they say the word "going Home" but I think we will be just fine.

I know we have a long road of healing ahead but it helps to have such a strong fighter to work with and of course the love and support from Friends and Family.

We will see..........Talk to you tonight

LY Tracie

I got sunshine on a cloudy day!!!

Thursday, April 24, 2008 9:32 PM CDT

Today was a busy one....seems like all we did today was therapy.

Abi had a not so nice visit from Mr. Suppository..that was a nightmare that left her in painful tears and me.
Luckily the bad stomach cramps didn't last too long.

Abi's friend Elizabeth came up and brought her cards from all her classmates..how great was that!

Flowers also arrived today from Mrs. Hicks (Abi's Teacher)
Our room is filled with lots of love that is for sure.

OT was easy today but PT worked Abi pretty hard.
She walked up stairs and rode a therapy bike around the hospital and was given a walker to use for getting to the bathroom etc.
I call Abi Granny now because she looks so cute walking around hunched over a walker.

This is the part of the hospital stay that gets the hardest....Abi's slowly walking and I keep wanting to throw her in the car and go home!
My goal for "Now" is to break out of here by Saturday....realistic goal??? I think so..I know what to look for as far as complications. (Hello I'm a Doctor)

Her incision must be healing because it is itching her so badly...It's like having a bad mosquito bite and not being able to touch it.

My Pal Syd who sends me inspiration sent this quote to me so I decided to share it with you.

At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person.
Each of us has Cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.

--Albert Schweitzer

Thanks for you kindness

LY Tracie & Abi

Wednesday, April 23, 2008 10:04 PM CDT

The wonderful E-mails from all of you are so wonderful and I believe they have magical healing powers.

When you are in a place like this I can't tell you enough what it means to have the love and support that Abi and all of us are getting.

I won't lie today was probably one of the toughest so far.
Abi was so scared and upset today because of all the new things they were expecting her to do.
As a parent you want her to try but on the other hand it breaks your heart when you know she's hurting.

I ended up having to leave and go home for a couple hours to just cry a little and re-group.
I just felt all kinds of emotions and I needed to breathe.

Actually while I was gone Abi got to talk with Child life and feel better about some of her fears..also OT actually went well...She did ask her if she would stand up for her but Abi said No because she was way too dizzy.

I'm so proud of her for listening to her body.

We were able to make it down for the "April Birthday craft party" they had a wheelchair that lets you lay back so it worked out well. We didn't stay long because Abi was worn out. But she did it!!

It means so much that even though we've been down this road you never get tired and you stay with us..Thank You.

Tonight I'm very tired and mentally exhausted but I feel God has Blessed us so much.

Goodnight from the "Big House".

Wednesday, April 23, 2008 12:44 AM CDT

The day is moving slow..
.

Abi had Physical therapy this morning and I'm not sure it went so well.
In all our hospital journeys I have never known Abi to refuse to do something.
Today she was very specific about what she wasn't going to do and she wasn't about to be flexible.
The therapist got her to sit up and then with full support she stood up for a second.

When that was done with tears in her eyes she refused to even look at Amy (The therapist).
I felt so bad but I also know it's important to start moving.

OT comes at 1:30 so we will see how that works out.

From what I can tell (our window is the size of a poster board) it looks like an amazing day ..enjoy it for us!

LY I will report more later

Tuesday, April 22, 2008 9:17 PM CDT

I do believe we have stepped forward a little!
The first half of today was not great but they got her off the PCA and on some oral pain medications and she is really doing pretty well tonight.

She did sit up today with support and tomorrow she will get a evaluation from Physical therapy and Occupational therapy.
I would rather have them work with her since they know more about how to do it without causing too much pain.

We saw Dr.P tonight He came by to let us know that he expected this to take a while but she needs to get out of bed so her body can start working again.

He also said it would be a little bit before we even know how the surgery will effect her..he wants me to keep a journal on her headaches ,pain etc....

For the first time in 5 days Abi has that little spark back and I'm so happy about that.
I almost feel uncomfortable about assuming we are heading toward the door because as I've learned one day is one day and the next day can be soooooo different.

Hopefully when she has her evaluations tomorrow everything works like it is suppose to...she still doesn't have alot of feeling on her left shoulder and arm down to about her elbow
but they aren't too concerned .

Thanks for stopping by your prayers and continued thoughts are working.

Prayers going out..

LY Tracie

Tuesday, April 22, 2008 7:37 AM CDT

Hello from the "Big House"

The longer your here the harder it gets to wake up and walk down the hall to the shower...at first it seems like Camp but now it just stinks.

Abi had a little bit of pain before bed ..she just can't lay any other way then her back and that is getting old.

We had a okay night except her heart monitor kept going off she was a little too relaxed it was in the low 40's.
The nurse was more concerned then I was.

I prayed hard again this morning just really trying to connect
and feel more at peace with things..it is so easy to get caught up in the rush of it all.

Thank you Thank you for the E-mails it really makes me smile!

Prayers going out to Micheal and Family they are heading back to mayo tomorrow.

Prayers going out to all of my pals in my heart...

LY Tracie

By the way I only fired the night nurse Rhonda,The food service (they keep forgetting Abi's tray or sending it up wrong),I also fired the Pharmacy but I think I will re-hire them back.

P.S. I forgot to mention we are out of PICU and on the floor
Someone mentioned where to send a balloon..4-south rm 438 bed 2.

Monday, April 21, 2008 8:55 PM CDT

Here I sit after another day here..Day 4 I guess.
Seems like I spent most the day confused, not sure if we are getting better or not??????

They say she looks better so okay I guess I'll go with that.
She still can't sit up we tried several times today..she really wanted to but it just was too painful.

They did end up turning off the continuous PCA medication and now she can use the bumps if she needs it.She ended up using it pretty much all day.
They decided to give her valium every three hours so we will see if that helps..she really just kept moaning tonight and when I asked her what was wrong she just said "I don't know"
in a crying voice.

Tonight I'm just going to pray like I always do and ask God to please show us if there is something we need to see so we can better take care of Abi.

I'm just very afraid a nights sleep without pain meds is going to be bad news.

Thanks for checking in...

LY Tracie

Monday, April 21, 2008 8:07 AM CDT

I woke up this morning with the birds singing and the "Idiot" alarm going off!

The over night nurse that I like to call "Clueless" didn't give Abi valium or her stomach medicine..so instead of being set up for a better day we are right where we were yesterday.

Then as a grand finale she came in this morning saying they were probably going to take her off her PCA pain medicine.
Abi cried for 30 minutes when they moved her last night before bed!!

Needless to say I will be putting a note on our chart saying we will not be requesting Clueless in the future.

So anyway I'm growling right now and I can't wait to tell on her!!!
(I know real mature).

Have a great day I will turn mine around if it takes eating a Big Cheeseburger and a large order of onion rings.

LY update later from the "BIG House"

Dear God please give me the understanding and patience when I have to deal with people who are in the Nursing field and should be washing bedpans instead.....That was harsh..ouch!

Sunday, April 20, 2008 8:12 PM CDT

It really hurts my heart to be away from home...I just hung up the phone and Matti was crying saying she loves me.
This is always so hard on everybody.

I just have to stay focused and help Abi get stronger so we can leave......but just like in any situation that you rush it usually doesn't turn out the best.
I will let the healing take its course..and try to be patient.

They worked out a new med. routine and Abi seems to be more comfortable.
She is still on her strong narcotic (PCA Pump) but now they are giving her valium every three hours..I guess her neck was kind of having spasms.

No out of bed activity at all still hurts pretty bad when they roll her.
Tomorrow is a new day and she hopefully will be able to sit up.
Thank you for checking on us so much ..Abi and I enjoy the notes.

My 5
1.Cozy blankets to snuggle with.
2.Mash potatoes for dinner.
3.The sun coming in our small small window
4.getting to see Paul and Matti today.
5.Tomorrow being Monday...Yes I said that!! I look forward to Dr. Partington being around...and better food choices in the cafeteria.

God is here and all is well...........LY Tracie

P.S. I haven't been irritated with any of our nurses so far!! Yea for Team C

LY Tracie

Sunday, April 20, 2008 8:52 AM CDT

HI!!

We had a good night..went to sleep at 8:30 and woke up at 6:00am.
That's the good news, the bad is Abi feels pretty bad today
very sick to her stomach and having lots of head pain.

So we've gone backwards but we can't expect her to be up dancing after a surgery like she had.
They are talking and trying to figure out if they need to
do any scans to check things out?????

Thank you for your E-mails they help me feel connected.
I hope I get to see Matti today she may come up..Kaydee can't she has a bad cold.
I miss the girls so much (Paul too of course).

LY Tracie

Saturday, April 19, 2008 4:53 PM CDT

Just an update for you....Things are going so so.

Abi really can't move her head at all without excruciating pain.
Basically that means she hasn't been up at all and is still on a catheter and not minding that a bit (she usually throws a fit about having one).

They removed the bandages and she has a large incision down the back of her head extending down a little before her shoulder blades..she also has about a 6 inch incision behind her ear, that is where Dr P connected the tub from her spinal cord to the rest of her plumbing.

Her face is so red she looks like she is on fire but her temp has been fine..they gave her benadryl,valium,tylenol and plus she has her steroids and Dalautid PCA pump and after all that she still won't close her eyes.

It has been really sad around here with the death of that little 4 year old in that bad accident and still two remained seriously injured they were also here.
They airlifted one who was very criticle somewhere else but one remains here..
Please pray for those families and for goodness sakes
Wear seatbelts!!! I saw with my own eyes what a child looks like who isn't buckled safely and it is not a pretty sight.

LY Tracie

Saturday, April 19, 2008 7:51 AM CDT

The night was pretty quiet on the ICU but we still didn't sleep! Her alarms kept dinging nothing serious though I think she was just not taking deep breaths.

Not sure why I did think we would sleep?? It's not like this is my first experience here.

This morning Abi is a little more under the weather..very achy. Lots of pain in her feet.
I think the steroids she's on are making her a little on the "I don't feel good " side.

No real appetite but they gave her stomach medicine so maybe that will help.

Hanging in there and trying to keep moving forward.

They tested Abi for MRSA from what I can tell it's like a virus you can catch at hospitals...she did test positive but they are not sure what strain it is so we will find out today if she needs some antibiotics to treat that.

Thanks once again..keep those messages coming I can't send E-mails from here but I love reading them.

I will update this afternoon...LY

Friday, April 18, 2008 7:00 PM CDT

Well it's over and for now we couldn't be happier!!

Abi did very well it was a very long surgery..she is now slowly recovering in ICU.

Not sure if the surgery was a success but time will tell..for now we are just glad to be looking at Abi's face and seeing those blue eyes that we love so much.

They have her on very strong Meds so she is pretty comfortable .

Thank you for your prayers and support if you don't mind please continue them they are working.

LY Tracie

Wednesday, April 16, 2008 10:42 PM CDT

Happy 10th Birthday Abi !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wish I could go into all the wonderful things I feel and know about Abi but tonight I don't think I can get through it if I did start.
To sum it up she is our little gift from God she is a reminder that with Faith anything is possible....She has moved mountains with her faith.

I'm almost glad this day is here because to be honest I can't wait for this surgery anymore!
I want it done and over........If I had to wait much longer I would drink too much Box wine and be in the crazy house.

God never ever fails me..once again here I am with the God given strength to go through yet another horrible surgery.

I actually feel like I can get through this.

I'm praying for God to guide Dr. Partingtons hands to help Abi get better.

I don't ever look forward to leaving my home and family..I miss them so much when I'm away It just feels so empty without them.

I'm waiting to decorate Abi's room because as you know The "Birthday Fairy" comes tonight.
For those of you who don't know on the night before a Birthday I decorate the Birthday girls bed and wall with streamers.
I just always want them to know how much we celebrate the fact that they were born!

We will be going to Applebees for Dinner and then to bed early because surgery is scheduled at 8:00am we arrive at 6:00.
So if you are lighting a candle I would start around 8:30am.
If you are unable to light a candle prayers work too.

Tonight I went with Carole to get our hair done..wow are we beautiful!! Thank you so much Lori..Carole wanted to look like Oprah but she ended up much better (Long but funny story for another time).

Not sure if I will be in touch with you tomorrow but I will journal as soon as I can.

Thank you for your prayers and please E-mail me even if I can't get one back to you I really like to know your there.

Love Ya!!

I'm counting on you God...Please be there for Abi

Tuesday, April 15, 2008 8:55 PM CDT

Tough day today because it started out with a call from the Pre-op department at Gillette.
It is always hard to discuss "The Day" and what to expect.
Looks like they have started with the surgery lasting at least 4 hours.
We will be in the ICU until she is stable and then a hospital stay of at least 5 days.

I have come to the conclusion that the best way for me to get through this will be to numb myself.
Just kind of float above the situation as much as humanly possible.
I'm just trying so hard not to "Go There" and just not think about the what ifs......I just need to take the surgery a minute or an hour at a time..who knows everything could turn out just fine.

The best thing is Abi knows and feels she is loved and prayed for by so many people before going in there.
Today she went to get the mail and had 7 Birthday cards she was so excited.
I guess it is actually a good thing that the surgery was almost on her birthday.

Matti seems to be doing alright now that she has her team in place.
Kaydee started acting a little under the weather yesterday and today has been not feeling good at all...looking in her throat it is fire red with spots!
Well folks it would of been such a boring story without a twist and a threat that Abi could get an illness before surgery.
I will be taking Kaydee to the clinic tomorrow hopefully it's not strep!
Why did we get her tonsils out again????

Well the day is almost here...I'm breathing and praying that God will get us all through this.

Thank you for your prayers and love.....Tracie

Monday, April 14, 2008 9:32 PM CDT

Abi is so blessed with such a great group of friends...
She had such a wonderful time at Chuck E Cheese the day couldn't of gone better for her!

The Blaine CC staff really went above and beyond to make us all feel welcome.
This will be a Birthday to remember..her smile was priceless today.

Paul was able to join us and I was able to get a couple games of skee ball in with some of my pals.

It was just a time to escape from the worry and just Enjoy life.

Thursday (Abi's actual Birthday) we will be having a small family dinner at Abi's favorite place "Applebees."
We will be celebrating Abi bringing in the Big Double digits "10"!!

Hard to believe we have been riding this Medical Roller coaster for 6 years now..Wow no wonder I look so old.

I close tonight with such a happy heart because we are so blessed with the people we have in our life..you never really know what the word "Friend" means until you are in a position like we are.

MY 5
1.Carole winning the "Chuck E Cheese Skee Ball jackpot (although I never actually witnessed it).
2.Abi's wonderful friends.
3.seeing Abi having so much fun I thought she'd explode!
4.Leaving our cares at the door.
5.laughing!!

Prayers going out to Michael,Mark,Cristina,Kira,Allison,Braydon,Olivia,Mrs.P,Dick,Tom,Gavin,Hopekids and families,Auntie Ev,all the people in my heart.

Take care and thanks for stopping in.

LY Tracie

Sunday, April 13, 2008 9:42 PM CDT

One of the worst things about this surgery (and there are many) is the fact that for really the first time Abi is scared.
I'm trying so hard to comfort her but I'm not sure how convincing I am.
She just keeps saying how she doesn't want to go to sleep because it's scary.
On the other side of the coin she is having escalating pain in her arm and has been taking alot of medication to make it better.

I keep telling her the pain is a sign that's letting us know that we need to go ahead with this.
This pain is only going to get worse since it already has changed drastically.
In a way I do believe it's Gods way of maybe comforting me.

Our house right now feels as if we are all on fire..the big problem is we are all burning so there is really no'one left to put it out.
There is no'one there to help the other person.
I know you are saying "Gods there" and we know that and depend on Him daily.

No matter how strong Gods arms are this is still our little girl and I don't care how strong your faith is you will still feel this pain.

To be completely honest I'm sacred and I pray with everything I have that Abi holds on during the surgery and that little "Never give up" spirit that she carries so proudly just is enough to do the trick.

On a brighter note I must share with you how wonderful Matti's Teacher was on Friday..knowing she is struggling with all this she decided to set a bag on her desk.
This bag was only for her and the minute she got to the car her smile could of lit up a night sky.
There were special little gifts and a note that really brought happy tears to my eyes and I know it made a difference in Matti.

The school counselor has really stepped up and is going to be seeing her too so i do feel Matti has a pretty great support system in place.

Tomorrow it is Abi's Birthday bash at Chuckie Cheese the girls are very excited and I think it will be a positive distraction for all of us.

The week will be spent doing our "hospital shopping" that's what Abi and I call it and setting up the family with groceries,toilet paper just basics since who knows how long the Commander in Chief (that's me) will be gone.

Actually they seem to do pretty well here at home without me.

Well that is all the cheer I can bring to you for now..all we can pray for is a "They lived Happily ever after."

LY Tracie

Thursday, April 10, 2008 10:04 PM CDT

Today going up to school went very well..those kids are so great!! I brought donuts and the Chiari awareness bracelets.

The kids have always known Abi has a problem with her brain..Today I printed some pictures up and thought I would tell them what Chiari/Syringomyelia actually is.

They were such good listeners and when I went to hand out the bracelets they seemed to get it.

I can see why Abi always has such a smile on her face when she goes to school..there are alot of positives surrounding her there.
I know it was sad for her to leave today she loves her teachers and her friends.

I could go on and on about the sad things about this situation
and how it's taking a toll on all of us....But like I was reminded last night by watching that Primetime special....

" It Is What It Is "

Do I like this situation?? No of course not
Am I accepting it and trying to find Peace??? Yes I'm trying.

The only thing to do right now is squeeze the girls really tight and let them know every minute of everyday how much Paul and I love them.

And Pray ....

It Is What It Is..............LY

Wednesday, April 9, 2008 10:00 PM CDT

Matti was having a difficult time tonight and instead of talking she wanted to write back and forth.

Mommy,
I'm feeling sad about Abi's surgery.
I'm trying hard not to cry but I'm sad !
I Love you
Matti

I wrote back while tears filled my eyes and explained to her that we are all sad and it's Okay to feel that way.
I also told her that crying is good for us and it makes us feel a little better.
I reminded her that the surgery is not for a while and we have lots to enjoy before then.

She still went to bed in tears but sometimes you just have to feel feelings..I don't know anyone who enjoys feeling sad.

The point is I can't "Fix" this and it is just something we have to go through like it or not!

It is breaking all of our hearts but I am trying so hard to not let Tomorrow ruin my Today!

I won't lie tomorrow going to school is going to be tough I'm sure when I'm done I'll cry all the way home.
But Like I told Matti "It's Okay to be sad."

I will just try to keep my focus on Abi's smiling face and that will get me through.

Have a nice day....try not to waste it!!

LY Tracie

Tuesday, April 8, 2008 8:41 PM CDT

I forgot that today was "Kindergarten Roundup" the last Christopherson to go to school.

I sat there thinking wouldn't it be nice to have everyone in school next year and healthy and for me to be at home lonesome and wondering what to do with myself.

kaydee has informed me she wants to go to "All day Kindergarten" when asked why?? her answer was "I need more time to learn."

My friend Carole came over today and we talked ..she asked me how I was doing and all I could say was.....there is really no getting out of this so we have to move forward and I have to come to terms with that and some how some way I have to be strong for Abi.

Thursday I am bringing donuts for Abi's class since it's her last day..I also got some bracelets from ASAP (Chiari/syrinx
association) for her classmates to wear in order to support her and her illness.
How am I going to get through that situation without being a total wreak I'm not sure..

One minute at a time.......tick tock tick tock

Take care ..leave a note if you can I'm feeling kind of isolated.

LY Tracie

Monday, April 7, 2008 9:31 PM CDT

Matti's Doctor appointment went pretty well. It was decided that we will wait on the Tonsil issue and as far as her feet go we are going to try stretches to see if the achillies will loosen up on its own.
Dr. B was also going to call Dr. Partington to see if He thinks an MRI would be necessary since Matti could have similar issues that Abi has.
All I could do was laugh at that ,I couldn't even imagine hearing the news that Matti has neuro issues too!!
I choose to not even go there right now..I'm staying in the now.

Spent some time on the phone trying to get Home school set up for Abi either at the hospital or for when she is home.
The school is always so cooperative and that helps so much.
The bad part is we don't know what to expect so we don't have an estimate of how long we will be in the hospital????

Abi's decided she wants to go to Chuckie Cheese with a couple of her friends for her birthday we will probably do that Monday since there is no school that day.
Abi's last day of school will be Thursday.
I want her to have some time at home to try and get rid of her runny nose and be as healthy as possible.

That is all I really have tonight..thank you for being here.

MY 5
1.Getting to go for a massage.
2.Spending time with Matti.
3.Cheesecake with Raspberry swirl.
4.The girls getting a box full of crafts!!!
5.My Mom being here today.

Prayers going out to all those who mean so much.....LY

Sunday, April 6, 2008 9:08 PM CDT

Once again I'm struck with the Sunday night blues. It almost seems like with each Monday that passes the surgery date gets closer.
Funny how when you feel such heartache about an upcoming event the first thought you have is not to do whatever it is!

I did that last time and now that has brought me here..and I must say the pain of facing this now is 10 times more then before.
The Chiari "Extreme Home Makeover" was on again and it was poor timing.
Paul walked in the room saw what was on and immediately walked out...this is his little girl and I know He's having such a hard time too.
It all comes down to trusting that which we cannot see.
Faith is an especially strong word when it's really all that keeps you grounded.

It's off to get Matti checked out tomorrow I hope that goes well.....

Have a nice Monday Thank you for being here..LY Tracie

Thursday, April 3, 2008 9:11 PM CDT

I can honestly say I've never seen a Bear ride a motorcycle and dance and I never knew an Elephant could balance all four legs on one big ball...who would of guessed!!

We had such a great time today at the circus..The girls couldn't stop talking about it all the way home.

We've all decided we are running away to be in the circus.. Paul has such a great voice he'd defiantly be the Ring master, My Mom said she'd probably be the one to pick up the animal poop,I would like to be a clown but not a back ground one I want all the big parts, Abi really liked the magic so I think she would do that,We decided Matti would work with the Tigers,Kaydee said she wanted to sell the food or be an acrobat.

The weather was so nice too we couldn't of personally picked a better day.

So I will leave this Journal update with all the sunshine that a day with my girls brought me...Have a nice weekend!

LY

Wednesday, April 2, 2008 11:13 PM CDT

Not that I can promise I'll feel this way tomorrow BUT I've decided instead of crying all the time and wishing this surgery wasn't taking place...I will realize that this is a bad situation and the surgery will take place and the only control I have is to decide how I'm going to react to it!

It's almost like Abi has this amazing Faith that basically leads her through every situation she's put in.

I've been praying for that Faith nightly but the problem hasn't been that Gods been busy...The problem has been that I wasn't ready to be open to what God was sending me.

Who knows what the outcome of this surgery will be BUT I can Enjoy the "Now" which is really all any of us have anyway.

So in saying that I'm going to act "AS IF" for now and then possibly I will be at the point where I do feel that I can get through this.

If Abi can have a smile on her beautiful face right now I can too!!

MY 5
1. The girls having No cavities!! Dr.Forbes & Staff are the greatest!
2. All the wonderful people we are blessed to have in our life.
3. Going to the circus tomorrow (Having a Family Day)My Mom has to take Pauls place.
4. Abi's smile and Faith
5. Kaydee crying this morning for 30 minutes because her bangs look like "Boys Hair" not sure what that meant.

Prayers going out:
Micheal & Family
Olivia
Mrs.P & Family
Anna
Cristina
Braydon
Skylie
Alison
Dick
Tom
Kira
Mark
Gavin
Hopekids
Chiari Families
Moms club

Thanks for stopping in......Today Is a Gift!!

Tuesday, April 1, 2008 9:32 PM CDT

I've always been the one to say "With faith the size of a mustard seed you can move mountains" and I believe it to be true.
BUT what if your not trying to move anything instead your trying to accept the mountain??

Today Abi came home to share with me that the music teacher picked her to play out front with a small group for a recorder concert (Abi loves playing it) she was so excited until together we looked at the date of the concert April 23rd.
needless to say she was very disappointed....

Tonight Matti fell asleep crying because she's sad and she didn't have to say why I knew.

It's so hard to pretend to them that everything is going to be alright when I don't know that.

I pray so hard every night for God to give me strength..and I do have trust and faith but I wouldn't be human if I wasn't scared.

On the bright side I had a nice visit from Syd (the one who finds good quotes for me) and her daughter Emily.
Together they made Abi and the rest of us heat packs.
They were all so colorful and fun and you could tell lots of care went into them..Thanks Girls!

Tomorrow it's off to the Dentist for me and then the girls have appointments later in the day to get their teeth cleaned...I just pray there are no cavities....I kind of expect some since they haven't had any yet.

Please know even though I seem so consumed I'm still praying for you guys...LY

Have a nice Wednesday ..Thank you for the nice E-mails!!!

Tuesday, April 1, 2008 9:32 PM CDT

Monday, March 31, 2008 9:07 PM CDT

I was just so sad today..after dropping the girls off I found myself in the car alone.
I decided I would get some things done so there I was driving in a spring blizzard and crying my eyes out as you can guess visibility wasn't the best.

I ended up back at Nativity early to pick up kaydee and I believe God put someone there that I needed to see.
Somehow I needed to talk the situation out in order to feel a little better about it all.

For some reason I'm not handling this very well..I find myself in a fog and no matter what I do it sticks.
I can't explain the hurt that I feel knowing what is coming..I've done this and I never thought I would be going here again.

Abi is hurting quite a bit at night mostly leg and arms and her hand rash is moving farther up her arm and it is burning almost like a sunburn.
Maybe that's God way of showing me the urgency of this.

School contacted me about Matti being absent so much and just like last year I had to explain her illness.
That is the problem with her disorder it isn't common and I think they look at her and assume it can't be too serious
when really it's life threatening.

Funny how when you already feel like your plate is as full as it can possibly get life gives you a couple more scoops.

Thank you for checking in and please stick around..sorry we are in the not so cheerful times....LY Tracie
leave a note if you have time.

Sunday, March 30, 2008 9:25 PM CDT

With each passing day my stomach hurts a little bit more.
I'm trying so hard not to be angry but the fact is I am!

The problem is where do I direct that anger? To the doctors,To Abi's syrinx,To All those donuts I ate while I was pregnant with Abi.......there's no where to put it!

Today we had a Hopekids event at "Just Jump".
It was a birthday celebration for all the kids who had Birthdays in march/April.
Abi is still under the weather with this cold but we could of never kept her home from this.
The fact is we all had a blast!!It felt so good to just have fun together..It's almost like we were able to forget about our troubles for a while.
I love when I can look at the girls and they have these Big smiles on their faces....priceless.

The bad news about going is Abi is paying for it tonight...But ya know what We let her run wild today and jump to her hearts content because that's the way it should be and she deserves it.

I have decided if it snows tomorrow I'm taking my blow dryer and I'm going out in the front yard and melting it all!! I want grass.......no more snow!

Well It's Monday and I've written something special:

M-Migraines
O-Obstacles
N-Nonsense
D-Dumb
A-Asprin
Y-Yelling

Have a day full of Diet coke fountains and chewing gum that never loses its flavor.

LY Tracie

Some of you have asked about sending Abi Birthday cards if you need our address please E-mail me at our personal E-mail pandt@mninter.net
or send them to Gillette on the 18th..Thank you

Thursday, March 27, 2008 9:48 PM CDT

Here I am again..Not really much to add.
I have realized that I need a Nanny though just someone to watch over me and keep me on track.
Today I forgot I was cooking cornbread in the oven and I forgot about my daughters school conference.
I just need some help "Thinking".

I'm usually such an organization Freak....but these days I'm lucky if I can make a box of Mac-N-Chz without burning the house down.

Abi has been having some bad arm pain I feel so bad for her..If anyone knows where to buy those "bean bag" heat wraps please let me know we lost one at the hospital and could use another one.
It seems also that a cold is back in the picture for her and I'm not too happy about that.
Probably will not be sending her to school that week before her surgery I want her body as healthy as possible before a surgery like this.

Made Matti's appointment today it will be before all the excitement starts so that's good.

We are just all starting to feel the stress I don't think we are hiding it very well.
You get to a point when you can't anymore.
How do you keep your family all intact when all you feel inside is crazy,sad and scared to death.

Through it all I can't express enough how much the continued support we still receive helps us through.
The Love and prayers makes such a difference and you never know how much until your in a situation like this...So Thank you!

MY 5
1. Mail that warms your heart.
2. My Big Brother Todd.
3. Band-aids
4. Abi being able to go to Chuckie Cheese with some friends before her Birthday.
5. The "Hope" that this surgery will take some of the pain away.

LY and wishing you peace....Tracie

Wednesday, March 26, 2008 9:33 PM CDT

I wonder if I just didn't take my children to Doctors would my life be easier then?
I almost hated to talk to Paul about what Matti's Dr. said because I know what a hard time He's having with the already full plate.

It seems Matti might have some type of structural problem.
She is a toe walker and it seems something that appears to be cute and harmless may not be in her situation.
I have to call tomorrow to get her in for an evaluation to see where we need to go from here.
When her Dr. was testing her today she couldn't flex up her foot the way you and I can.
I feel bad like I totally missed this I should have caught on to the problem sooner.

Feel like things are falling apart all around us.
Don't get me wrong there is a lot that's still intact but a few things that are all over the place.

Don't try to understand or come up with something to say..It's alright...and we'll be alright...this just stinks!

Thanks for checking in.....God has blessed us in so many ways and you are one of those blessings.

LY Tracie

Tuesday, March 25, 2008 9:44 PM CDT

Maybe someone needs to just slap me really hard on the face..
I can't seem to pull myself out of the ditch that this situation has thrown me in.

This situation just never gets easier...I can't get past the fact that I "Hate" she has to have this surgery.

I keep playing it over and over in my mind I'm driving myself crazy!
I have already planned not to read the notes from Dr.Partington when they arrive because that will be too much.

Anyway enough of all that...

Tomorrow it is off to Matti's Doctor at the U of M.
We have never really had issues to mention but this time we do.
She has been having headaches pretty frequently and stomach pain. Nighttime she is having breathing issues but having tonsils out for her would be a major event and a lengthy hospital stay.
The thing about MCAD is there isn't a whole lot of information on what MCAD actually will do to the body long term, so we just kind of feel our way in the dark through all this.
Not sure what they will do tomorrow I'm praying it doesn't involve blood.

Boy this Journal is so uplifting I'm sure after reading this
you feel one of two things:

1.Feel pretty good that you don't have my life.
2.Feel sad and depressed that stuff like this really happens to people.

Kind of just feel like I shouldn't open my mouth right now or journal...but of course I will still do both.

Thanks for being here during the Bad/Good times I appreciate it.

Prayers going out to Michael &family,Kira,Olivia,Alison,Anna,Cristina,Braydon,LL,Nichole,Mark
Mrs.P's family,Moms club,Gavin,Hopekids,Gaby,Joanne,Tom,Dick

Have a nice day..LY Tracie

Monday, March 24, 2008 9:45 PM CDT

Dr.Partington's office called first thing this morning just as I expected.
The conversation started out with an apology because of the surgery date.
The 18th of April the day after Abi's 10th Birthday....well that's an unexpected nice touch!

When I told Abi I could tell she was a little disappointed since she has had this happen to her before.

I just still can't believe she has to go through this again.
I guess that's just something I'm going to have to get past.
That's all I've got for tonight.

Take care.....LY Tracie

Sunday, March 23, 2008 10:21 PM CDT

We had a really nice Easter..Hope all of you did too.

I can't help but feel a little apprehensive about Monday (what's new right).
Not sure if they will call with the surgery date or not..I know we are all waiting to hear,I'm sure it will be soon.

Ever since Thursday nothing feels right ..I don't even feel comfortable in my pink fuzzy slippers.
I feel so blessed by so many things in my life but for now I just can't see the silver lining in all this and that is probably because I don't want to.

I don't want to think that we have to go through all this pain because there is this "Big" Master plan.
Funny how My Master plan and the one in play are so different.

My Master plan includes "Issues" of course we all have those ...but what my Mater plan does not include is my Child and any type of procedure with the high risk factors being Quadriplegia,Coma,on a Respirator or death.

It's also hard for me to look at people and pretend that things are fine..I almost started crying in "Walmart" of all places....People probably would of just assumed it was "Hannah Montana" overload!!
That could of been Me..I'm from Texas and if I would of had the right coaching?? I can just sit here now and picture my face all over Walmart....Thats when you know you've hit the "Big" time.

I will go to bed now...I'll probably cry a little and pray alot......I will make sure to mention you.

Thank you for showing up it's nice to know someones listening.

LY Tracie

Checkout new pictures in photo album!!

Saturday, March 22, 2008 6:27 PM CDT

Have a Wonderful Easter...Thank you for your Love and Support.

Gods blessings to you all

The Christopherson Family

Friday, March 21, 2008 10:53 PM CDT

Probably not the best time to write.... I'm in bed with tears streaming down my face because my heart hurts so badly and I thought somehow this might make me feel better.

I was talking to God and telling Him how I don't want this ..I'm scared,I just kept saying it over and over.....
Somehow I just want Him to explain to me Why she couldn't of gotten better and why Abi and all of us are not suppose to have this "Life" that we so desperately try so hard to have.

It seemed like I spent the entire day walking around confused almost like ..What do I do now???

This isn't a read something talk to someone feel better situation...For right now I can't get past the sadness.

This is suppose to be a "Joyous" time with celebrations of faith and Easter eggs and springtime blessings...I just can't even come close to being on the same page as that.

Thanks for listening...

Thursday, March 20, 2008 10:06 PM CDT

Today was hard I just kind of felt like a balloon that just got all the air squeezed out.

Did I know this day would come?? Not sure, maybe I did but I just wouldn't let myself go there.

The appointment didn't deliver the good news that we had prayed for.
The syrinx is a lot bigger and after testing her she is starting to lose some feeling in her right foot.
Along with the constant twitches and the drooping of her eyes and then the constant arm pain it's time to take care of this before things get worse.

I've cried on and off today but mostly have had my "I'm okay" face on even though that is so not how I'm feeling inside.

I'm scared... I see her walking and talking and I wonder about the fact that this surgery could change all that.
The risks are so incredibly high I just wonder how Paul and I are going to prepare for something like this.

I just hate this ....I really really do.

No word on when the surgery will be..I think it will be soon though.
They have to work on getting the team together and then they will call us.
That's when it will be real when the date is on the calendar.

Thanks for being here....Prayers going out.

LY

Wednesday, March 19, 2008 6:35 PM CDT

I'm sure someone got blessed by the lucky stick but not sure it was us.
The day went as it always does and Abi was a tropper.

Of course I couldn't wait to get home and look at the disk.
I kind of thought it wasn't going to be too bad because during the scan the anesthesiologist came out and asked what they were looking for again.
In "Tracie" terminology that meant we can't really see anything that stands out.
Well as it so happens I was wrong.

The syrinx is no smaller (This is only my interpretation)and I'm pretty darn sure it's longer!
I'm kind of in denial I'm thinking I'll go see N-surg tomorrow and I will have been wrong and everything will be okay.

If It's alright I'm going with that for now.

I will report more tomorrow..Thanks

Wednesday, March 19, 2008 6:12 AM CDT

OK I was feeling so brave last night and now I'm not so sure.

I read my "Daily Word" and it said "Let Go and Let God" and boy I guess I needed to be reminded of that.

I'm sure the Chiari Families are reading this and thinking "It's just an MRI for petes sake"!!
For me everyone of these are hard because there is that doubt..almost the thrill of the unknown without the good part.

I do believe that the outcome will be something we can handle and we will move on but wanting to do all that is another story.

I will stop being a Big Baby now and go get dressed...I guess if you don't mind send a tiny prayer my way too along with "BIG" ones for Abi.
When my Brother was in Spain he recieved Holy water and so I've been putting it on Abi thinking why not.
This morning I'm going to have her wash with it,brush her teeth in it and put a little behind each ear...Ok not that extreme.

Talk to you later...Thanks for listening to me again.

LY Tracie

LET GO AND LET GOD....LET GO AND LET GOD....LET GO AND LET GOD......LET GO AND LET GOD.................................

Tuesday, March 18, 2008 9:28 PM CDT

The day is here....So on the journey continues.

I plan on going not filled with fear but filled with Faith!

I know God loves and cares for Abi so really that's all I can say.

I will of course take any prayers you want to throw at us...

Early scan tomorrow we check in at childrens West by 8:00.
Whats good about that is the fact that we have day left to come home and relax.
Of course i will be looking at the disk when we get home and I will fill you in.
It is off to see Dr.Partington and the N-surg team on Thursday
at 8:00 also.

After that bunch of "Fun" Friday is Paul's Birthday!!

Take care ...LY Tracie

Monday, March 17, 2008 9:59 PM CDT

I keep going back and forth about what I think this MRI will show on Wednesday.
Of course I can only guess but usually I have a strong feeling either way.
Maybe I do but "hope" is keeping me from going there.

I just feel like that sick feeling hasn't been in play for a while and I sure haven't missed it...But when Wednesday comes
it will return I'm sure.

Haven't received my test results back from my physical yet I would think if my health was going down hill someone would of let me know.

Paul is still waiting for his appointment with the sleep Doctor,they keep getting canceled because all the overload of illness at the hospitals.

Kaydee is doing OK and seems to not be getting worse so that's great!

It's sad that No one gets a choice!! When you're given an envelope that informs you that your life as you know it and have planned it is never going to be the same because you or someone you love is going to be sick and not just the common cold but really hurts your heart sick...there are really No choices....believe me I tried to send the envelope back "return to sender".
It truly is the toughest times when you realize what you are capable of ..not that you want to be capable but you are.
I just wish sometimes we could of had a choice.

When asking fun questions the other night with the girls, the question was "What one thing would you change about yourself if you could "? Matti looked at me and said "I wish I didn't have to be sick".

Take care and Thanks for showing up.

LY Tracie

P.S. Extra prayers welcomed for Wednesday....

Sunday, March 16, 2008 10:03 PM CDT

MRI 2 DAYS AWAY.......

Thank you for all your get well wishes....they must of worked
along with a three day dose of antibiotics because I feel so much better......Abi is doing better too.

BUT (there is usually a but) Kaydee is not going to miss out!
Now she is very under the weather actually starting out much worse then Abi and I.
I just pray that she doesn't get worse and this is as bad as it will be.

Spent the day working around the house and trying to jazz up the girls room a little with a little paint here and there.

Poor Paul I think I used all my "Boss your husband around points" for the month (Thanks Honey).
It's hard when you sit around all week to get back in the swing of daily stuff..Thank goodness the girls don't have school this week.

I was able to watch movies though so I will give you my opinions on some......
"MR. Magoriam's Wonder Emporium was terrible!! even the girls who can usually find some fluffy part of any movie did not like it at all..It almost hurt to watch it.

"August Rush" was a great movie we all loved it.

"The Bee Movie" just what you think it would be very cute and fun to watch...makes you appreciate honey!

That is it for my reviews.....

Have a happy slushy rainy Monday... I give all of you permission to stay in bed. I will call your boss if you want me to...... LY...Thanks for being here...Tracie

Thursday, March 13, 2008 8:44 PM CDT

Talking with a friend of mine who is going through a Medical nightmare all she could say was "I'm sorry".

I told her that's crazy to apologize to me ?????

Her reply was until now she's never even had a clue what we go through,and now that she does she's sorry she wasn't there for us more.
She was there for us more than I think she realizes...I remember one particular morning I had two Doctors in the room and I just knew where my day was headed.
There she was with a coffee and a smile and that ended up to be just what I needed!

It is true I really don't think people know what it is really like to have someone close who is suffering...I don't think you'd want them to.
It's almost like you let them come to the front door but would never invite them any further.
Maybe it's because once they really know, you can't pretend things are fine anymore.

Maybe that's why it is so hard for people in that situation to ask for help..It's hard to tell the world that you can't do it all.
As for me at this point in the game I think everyone and their Dog and neighbors and relatives and trash men,Postal carriers know I can't do it!
You get to a point where if you didn't have the wonderful support of the people around you'd drowned for sure.

So once again Thank YOU !!

Abi is feeling better so I may be losing my TV pal tomorrow.
As for me I'm going to the Doctor (you know how I love that) because I'm pretty sure I have an altoid mint stuck in my sinuses(that's what it feels like).
I did have more energy today I actually vacuumed and didn't have to take breaks in between rooms.

MY 5
1.Support
2.The "Ellen" show
3.Knowing I can't do this alone.
4.Gods love for me that has No conditions.
5.Abi and I feeling better.

Have a spring field Weekend......Talk to you Sunday night.

Thanks for stopping in....LY Tracie

Prayers for Micheal&Angela,Syd,Mark,Gaby and Mom,Cristina,
Mrs.P's Family,Tom,Joanne,Dick,Braydon,Gavin,Nichole,LLady,
Moms club,Chiari family,Hopekids,Anna,Allison,Olivia

Wednesday, March 12, 2008 10:00 PM CDT

They called with the new date for the MRI April 16th was the next date available.
I thought that was not going to work for us...I'm not comfortable waiting a week let alone another month!

I am not in the best mood because of this wonderful Flu so I really tried to find a "Nice voice" and ask if they have tried out at Childrens West??
No! was the answer I received,so once again in my "Nice voice"
I asked if she would call out there....then there was a pause............... and then she said "I'll try".

So now we will be having an MRI next Wednesday...sometimes my witch skills come in handy!

Paul came home early today because I feel that awful!!
I called Matti in absent this morning because I didn't think I could force myself to drive her there (I ended up taking her).

I'm always saying being sick is all attitude..If you think your sick you will be ..If you think your not you won't be.

That is hogwash because day three and Abi and I are a wreck.
It even hurts when I blink!
I have "Hope" that tomorrow will be the day we start to climb the feel better mountain.
I never watched so much TV in all my life..I'm learning alot
about fashion,cooking,American Idol history and about the little girl who can't go to school because she has her period!

Not sure what will keep you from getting the "Flu" seems like it is spreading all over the Twin Cities...Maybe wear a mask or wrap yourself in plastic (make sure you have supervision when attempting this).
Just stay Healthy!!!!!

Thanks for listening I know I'm a little "poor me" right now .

MY 5
1.Kleenex
2.Tylenol
3.My Husband (MR.Mom)
4.TV
5.The MRI being next week

Prayers needed for Micheal & Angela,Mrs. P's Family,Joanne,
Braydon,Gavin,Cristina,Anna,Allison,Gaby,Olivia,Mark,Hopekids,Tom,Dick

Tuesday, March 11, 2008 9:40 PM CDT

This Flu that Abi and I currently have is showing no mercy!
We just can't complain enough........

I'm sure you have figured out that we are having to cancel the much waited for MRI...what will be will be I guess.

I did leave two messages saying I want the next available slot because we need to have this done! Sooner than later.

Thanks for checking in..LY

Monday, March 10, 2008 10:16 PM CDT

"Mothers of sick kids should be seen and not heard...after all what do we know about OUR OWN CHILD"!!!!!!!!!!!

Not sure if it's the fact that I too am now sick or If going to Doctors is getting to be more then I can stand!

I hate when I feel like I'm not heard...I left there today wondering why I even opened my mouth.
Then I start questioning if I'm worried for nothing?? Maybe she's doing great...after all she did laugh when the Dr. tickled her!! I love Dr. B. don't get me wrong but I don't always see eye to eye with Him.

The thing about Abi is she is too Happy! She can have her entire body going nuts and she would still have a smile on her face. That smile is what they see sometimes and nothing else.

I'm going to just let this go..It is not doing any good thinking about it....I'm letting it go now!

Well we have two down and three to go...hopefully no one else will get this in our household.
I told Abi that I feel achy all over and her comment was "Welcome to my life".

My main goal now is to keep Abi from getting worse so we can have that MRI.

Abi's rash on her hands has now spread up to her wrists..
Dr. B insists that it's something she is coming in contact with but I'm more to bet on what Dr. Wical said...I think Abi's body is kind of mixed up right now and that is one result of that.

Kaydee is all worried that she will have to take care of Abi and I tomorrow...her comments were "I'm not sure I know how to take care of people" and "Will I have to make my own lunch"? and saving the best for last "Will I have time to watch the Sunny side up show"?
I reminded her that even though I may not feel good I will still be able to run the household! Ha Ha

Thanks for stopping in....Have a "Peep'en good day!! (Not like the window peeping but the marshmallow kind)

LY Tracie

Sunday, March 9, 2008 9:51 PM CDT

I've realized what my life is like....A tootsie pop!
I keep licking and licking but as hard as I try I can't get to the tootsie roll center! Just Sucker........

The weekend was a mellow one but busy too.
Abi was not feeling well to say the least,I think she has strep on top of all the other "fun" stuff.
The good news is she has a pre-op tomorrow so we are going to the Doctor anyway.

The bad news is if she continues to get worse they will not let us go ahead with the much needed MRI.
That will be such a BUMMER!

I won't buy trouble I'll just let it play out.

I know...I know this is how it is probably suppose to go...In Gods Big Book it probably says "Today I will teach Tracie how to deal with her control issues".

Why does life have to be such a constant learning experience?

This weekend my nerves kicked in and guess what I did??
Cleaned...you probably knew that answer.
I organized everything I could find in the kitchen and I must say being stressed out does have its advantages when you need stuff done.
Who knows what I will tackle tomorrow????

Please send some prayers for Micheal who is heading back to the Mayo,Cristina and her Mom, Mrs. P and her family,PJ who has been battling with a bad case of flu,Kira who is having struggles,Braydon, Mark who continues to be Mark and will not give up,Dick,Tom,Joanne, Allison, Anna who needs a break with her Chiari battle,I know there are many more...

MY 555555555555555

1.Giving myself a much needed break from peeps.
2.The "Big Give Show".
3.My Purple robe and of course my Pink furry slippers.
4."Unity Christ church" Podcast..so when I can't attend Church I can still worship.
5.Warm-up coming...YEE HAW!!!!!!!!

LY... Have a Monday full of Tootsie Pops and hopefully you make it to the center.

Could use a Little Boost from you guys..please leave a message.......I'll owe you one.

Thursday, March 6, 2008 10:06 PM CST

One more appointment for me and I'm done! Then next week it is Abi's turn.
Tomorrow morning I have to fast and the worse part no cream in my coffee..I guess that means no Peeps for breakfast either!

I think we will be taking it easy this weekend...everyones pretty worn out...seems like the week was a hard one especially on Abi.
We'll probably snuggle up and watch movies..hopefully we won't have to play "Don't spill the beans".

I would be not telling the truth If I said I wasn't anxious about the up coming MRI next week.
It was almost easier when we had them every month because In my mind I knew not too much could change in that short of time.
But now we haven't had a scan since November...At that time the syrinx was located at C2(she doesn't have a C1) stretching to C6.

What if we find out the syrinx is gone??? Maybe her symptoms
are just the syrinx on its way out!!!!I think they call that "Hope".

I guess the really sad thing would be if it is bigger and we are headed off to surgery and once again turning everything upside down.
I know I don't ask for God to make Abi better because I trust that His will is being done.
I will admit until Thursday I'm going to be keeping God pretty busy with a few requests.
Miracles happen everyday and I have my arms open ready to catch one!!

MY 5
1. Daily reminders of Gods Grace.
2. Yellow peeps..they just make me happy!
3. Friday!Friday!Friday!
4. Having our own special Milk lady..
5 MY family and how blessed I am...Thank you God!

Have a nice weekend with those you love..there are no guarantee's in this life ...Bloom where your planted!

Prayers going out.....LY Tracie

Wednesday, March 5, 2008 10:04 PM CST

Today I was on the game show "Are you smarter then a 1st grader" the answer is NO!!!

I had my first volunteer day and I must say Mrs. Peach is doing something right because those children are smart!!

Going into it I thought I would be checking papers with easy stuff like spelling words correctly ,periods at the end of sentences.
Oh No this little girl's paper I checked had words in her story I didn't even know how to spell.
What happened to " The,And,This" words like that Dick and Jane stuff.
As I explained to Mrs. Peach I went to a small Texas school and if you could rope a pig you passed English!
I'll probably be the only person ever fired from volunteering.

Seriously it was nice to be in there to see the magic that goes on I can see why Matti loves school! I wanted to stay all afternoon..maybe I should those kids could teach me in the areas I'm lacking.

Abi had a rough night pain wise, that left arm is really hurting her and she just kind of hurts all over.
Being a "kid" is rough on her I guess.

Well it was Kaydee's turn last night to keep me awake she kept walking back and forth from her room to ours...If I don't get sleep tonight I really shouldn't be operating a vehicle tomorrow! I'm tired.

One doctor visit down two more to go...Tomorrow I go for my Mammogram I know I said that last month too but ended up canceling at the last minute.
I just pray everything checks out Okay.

MY 5
1.PJ feeling better I miss her daily journal entries..they make me smile.

2.Walk with a friend even though we froze to death.

3.Finding out if you store your "Peeps" in a container that strawberries come in they are perfectly stale when you go to eat them.....Yummy there have to be Peeps in heaven.

4.Kaydee now being bored with regular letters is trying to write in cursive..Hello your "5" not 15.

5.Trying to find my way.

I hope your Thursday is fabulous...don't you just love that word "fabulous" it makes me feel so glamorous when I use it!

Hugs and prayers....LY Tracie

Tuesday, March 4, 2008 9:18 PM CST

Sometimes I think we are the house of medical mystery???????

Last night Matti woke up crying because her foot hurt (more around the ankle).
I gave her a a warm towel to put on it and then went back to bed.
Thirty minutes later I hear her crying really hard..It's the foot and now it's worse!
Finally I gave her medicine and got her up and she soaked in warm water for a while.
Today she was a little tired but her foot was okay.
How can something hurt so bad and then be okay??? See it's a medical mystery!

I'm almost scared to go to bed sometimes because nighttimes here are extremely unpredictable.

Today was the dentist for me....I have two cavities!!Yikes
When you start to get older the only reason you really have cavities is because your fillings are old too.

Tomorrow I get to volunteer in Matti's class (depending on how the night goes).
I'm not kidding every time I make volunteer plans I never get there! There is always a first......

Tomorrow I also have a phone date with the lady from the Social Security office..That should be enjoyable...I'd almost rather have my eye lashes pulled out!

The plan is get up breathe in and out and smile!!

Have a nice Wednesday Thanks for being here..LY

MY 5
1.Starting my morning throwing a raw egg all over the kitchen floor...just have to laugh at yourself!
2.Cleaning my bathroom cabinets (I love organization).
3.Going to the dentist..they are so nice there.
4.Matti's foot feeling better.
5.American Idol!! The Guys are so Great...The Girls oh and Danny can all go home.

Sending out some prayers

Monday, March 3, 2008 9:20 PM CST

Today was one of those days when you walk around like your only using one foot.
I just couldn't land I was just kind of floating.
Not sure if I got anything done.....

I actually find myself these days wondering what to say???
On one hand I want to skip and rejoice because we are doing this!! But then again I know how mean and hurtful that other hand can be.

I guess the answer for me is to give Thanks for the goodness that shines through the clouds but keep in mind that a storm can come so keep the umbrella handy.

Abi has been having some head pain along her shunt but that's no surprise because I already know that thing isn't working...It's only a matter of time before they find that out.

Kaydee was sick a little this morning but after laying down she felt better after lunch.
Seems to be ok for now...

Another Monday and I made it without a scratch..hope you did too!

My 5
1.Spaghetti
2.Kaydee feeling better.
3.People in our life..new and old.
4.Knowing that if you have a basket of apples and all of them are rotten except one......You rejoice and be thankful for the one!
5.Knowing there will come a time soon when I can walk Lola without ice skating.

There are some extra special prayers needed for a girl named Olivia (Just had 3 surgeries at Gillette) and now is home.

Prayers and hugs for Joanne ,Micheal,Dick,Braydon,Anna,Allison,Cristina,Mark,Mrs.P's family,Tom,Gavin,LL,Nichole

Love ya..Tracie (You don't have to but I would love to hear from you)Leave a note!!!

Sunday, March 2, 2008 9:45 PM CST

Why can't the weekend have five days and the week have two??

We had a busy weekend (for us). Friday the girls and I went to my Moms for a girls night while Paul had his last sleep study in Edina (this is his second one).

Saturday was game night not sure I could ever learn to master
"Don't spill the beans".

Sunday we went to church at Gloria Dei, the sermon was why God lets bad things happen.
After church Abi came up to me and said now she understands,I think she always wondered why God was letting her go through all this.

This week is a week full of "Me" I have Doctors appointments three days this week..It seems like I don't go for me so I thought I would take every medical thing I had to do and put it into one bundle.

I know so many families that are going through medical stuff...Unless you are in this situation I think it's hard to know how to help!
My advice ( this is only my opinion )is just do something!

what I mean by that is chances are if you ask "Is there anything I can do" they will wish they could say Yes but what they will say is No!
Think of things that would make your life easier in a hectic time and that's what you can do!!!

It was nice to hear today that there are reasons "Why"??

God is working through all of us ...He's helping us teach each other. We are the light!!!

Have a Monday ..Thanks for coming by!

MY 5
1.Abi knowing that all she has been through is for a bigger purpose then she once realized.
2."Don't spill the beans"? How in the world do you pile a bunch of plastic beans on a pot that swings and not spill them???(Do they teach that in preschool?
3.Lola and the love she has for me not matter what.
4.The girls being able to have playdates this weekend...see we are a "Normal family".
5. Cristina (Chiari club member) sending us a sweet package!! Thank you so much!!

Prayers going out to Micheal,Mark,Tom,Mrs.P's family,Gavin,Braydon,Cristina,Anna,Allison,Moms club,Hopekids,Dick,and more that are in my heart.

LY Tracie

Thursday, February 28, 2008 8:53 PM CST

I think it is so Important that children learn to share.

Today Matti was standing in the lunch line and the finger she cut was hurting her so she held it up.....of course it happens to be the middle finger.

This sweet little girl standing next to Matti decided to "Share" with her what holding that finger up means.

So today Matti learned the "F" word!!! When we asked her what word she learned You should of seen Paul and I we almost passed out!! I guess when we asked her what the little girl said we never expected a first grader to say that!!

I asked Paul if we could return all the children because I'm not ready to be a Parent...He replied with "I don't think I kept the receipt".
I'm seriously scared I don't think I'll be able to handle this growing up thing...I'm reading a book called "From Colic to College" maybe that will be of some assistance.

Have you ever had one of those dreams that are so clear and real that you really learn something from them?
I did last night...Instead of Abi being sick it was me!
I went through Appointments and listened to the Doctors talk about "Me" and how this was wrong and that needed to be fixed...I'll tell you what it was scary and to think she does this all the time.
I think we've been doing this so long that maybe I just think she's used to it all...I should not assume that she's not scared to death inside.

Thanks for being here....talk to you Sunday night!!

MY 5
1.Insight
2.Big warm-up coming
3.Books that help us get through parenthood.
4.Syd who gives me inspirational quotes.
5.Coffee with Carole.

Prayers for Micheal,Mark,Gaby,Anna,Allison,Braydon,Tom,Dick,
Cristina,Gavin,Moms club,MCAD kids,Chiari family

LY Tracie

Wednesday, February 27, 2008 10:00 PM CST

HI!!!!!!

In the search for my "Normal" life I stress "My Normal" I have tried to make some changes.

I am now volunteering in Matti's class...I also have made a commitment to do two baskets for a silent auction also for the school.
Sounds funny but for me to say for sure I will do something is a feeling I'm not used to or comfortable with.
I learned along time ago to not make plans because "Life" makes its' own plans.

So I'm really trying to reach out and do things that I've really wanted to do in the past..and one is to be involved more with The girl's school.
We will see!!

Don't get me wrong I know at any minute things can change..But for now I want a piece of the pie!

Kaydee decided to have a Lemonade stand today inside of course..she put two boxes together for a table and made a cute sign and then a chair for her to sit on and she was ready to go!
The only problem was I was the only customer...and I can only drink so much lemonade.
So she sat there and sat there until finally it was time for her sisters to be home..she actually decided to sell cookies and made quite a chunk of change.
I wonder what tomorrow will bring????

Matti is very much into reading she loves it and wants to read chapter books...she gets so excited after every page she conquerers.
Tonight while taking a shower she cut her finger pretty bad..we could not figure out how she did it but after Paul checked it out He realized our glass block window is cracking!!! NICE

Abi is plugging along taking probably too much motrin but she is hanging in there. We really aren't talking about her symptoms too much but we know they are there.
She's really enjoying school and being with her friends.
It makes Paul and I so happy to see her being a Kid!

MY 5
1.Coffee with a friend.
2.Kaydee selling Lemonade.
3.American idol
4.Normal life commitments.
5.Some calmness for now.

LY Heaps........Tracie

Prayers going out

Monday, February 25, 2008 9:18 PM CST

Today was nice I got to spend some quality time with my Mom...we always have so much fun!!

I almost hate to say this but I feel like I'm living life....We've gone a while with No surgeries and our family is mending.
We do have the MRI pending and we have some definite issues going on with Abi..But I refuse to miss anymore life because we are on hold.

I am a little concerned that Abi seems to be having "everyday headaches" painful enough to where she has to take something.
Today it was when she got in the car after school, day before in the middle of the night.........I guess it's a wait and see thing.

Kaydee is now grounded from "CRAFTS" I know it sounds harsh and believe me it's like taking meat from a tiger.

Today our local artist decided she would take a gold glitter pen and decorate her comforter on her bed!!
When I confronted her all she could say was "I wanted it to look prettier".

Oh well.....Life is always full of fun little surprises...

Take care and enjoy your Tuesday!!LY

"This is the day that the Lord has made;
let us rejoice and be glad in it."
-Psalm 118:24

Sunday, February 24, 2008 9:35 PM CST

I must say The kids were a little upset that we weren't going to "Fun Fest" on Friday.
We just felt that with all the stuff going around school we couldn't risk it.
Instead we all decided we would make a "Christopherson Fun Fest".
We each thought of a different game and we made little booths and tickets and I got together prizes....It was actually a lot of fun.

The rest of the weekend was pretty mellow..the kids and Paul went sledding on the tiny hill by our house but it ended up being a life saving adventure....Kaydee got her saucer going a little too fast and was heading right into the street (with a car coming) To make a long story short Paul ended up trying to stop her and they both ended up falling into the street!OUCH!

Not sure who got the worst of it...Luckily I was on a walk and didn't see any of it..my heart can't take stuff like that.

Abi woke up last night with a bad headache..funny how that used to be our life I remember her waking up just screaming and it would go on for hours.......Thinking back on that makes our life now seem pretty good!
You have to take the blessings when you can reach them.

That's it for now.....I hope your Monday is filled with everything that puts a smile on your face (I'm trying to be positive).

MY 5 Things I'm Thankful for

1. All the Wonderful people that are in our life.
2. The price of stamps going up..because then when you get a card in the mail you know how much that person really cared at that price!
3. Watching the Academy Awards and wondering how people have the time to go and watch all those movies.
4. Family
5. Warmer weather..It just makes you feel good!

Prayers going out ....Mark,Cristina,Gaby,Anna,Allison,Gavin,Braydon,Micheal,Dick,Tom,Mom's club

LY ... Tracie

Thursday, February 21, 2008 9:30 PM CST

Have you heard the story about the "Penny"?

A friend E-mailed it to me and to make a long story short whenever you find a penny It's a little symbol because of the words printed right on it "In God We Trust". Trust God.........

Today Gillette called and informed me that they were unable to get an MRI scheduled for the 28th so we are being bumped to March 13th.
That was pretty hard for me to understand since I called back in January to try and get Abi in. We go from can you make it through the weekend to how about March 13th!!

I have to admit I was pretty upset about it all...What if real damage is going on we can't know until we get that scan......

I walked into the living room feeling pretty stressed out and picked a pillow off the floor and what did I find underneath it??? "A Penny".

Since I had read that E-mail the other day I almost felt like it's true...God's wanting me to remember that He's in charge and this is going the way It's suppose to....TRUST.

I actually felt relieved.

Now I see where the saying "See a penny pick it up all day long you'll have good luck".
How can you not have luck when your trusting God......

LY Have a nice weekend..Tracie

Wednesday, February 20, 2008 9:37 PM CST

Seems like waking everybody up on Wednesday is the hardest day of the week.
Matti was yelling at Kaydee,Abi didn't feel like getting up and Lola wouldn't go outside to do what Dogs need to do.
As for me I just put my face under the coffee maker and kept drinking!

I guess Abi went to the nurse today at school because of a headache..it seems she always gets one after gym class.
I think she pushes it just a little bit.

Well school is healthy as ever....Head lice,Strep throat followed by Pink Eye....That's a nice mixture!
It's almost a gamble every time the kids go in there....what will they come out with????

Today while visiting Target I was going to get some soap and there was a older women hunched over looking for the perfect air freshener.
Sometimes I think God throws people in our path to see if we
"Have the time".
Anyway I helped the lady who had coupons and needed not only a spray that wasn't too floral but powdery.
So there we stood trying every spray on the shelf until finally she was convinced that the Linen was the perfect choice.

I finally made my way over to the Valentines Day stuff it was now 90% off.
Sometimes I think God also puts people in our path to test our patience.
There was a lady who didn't have time to let me by (her cart was taking up the entire aisle) because she had to as fast as her arms could grab them get all the chocolate hearts!!!

It reminded me of the game shows where the contestants have a certain amount of time to get as much stuff as possible in their cart.
The funny thing was we were the only ones there it wasn't like we had to beat out the other "Heart Grabbers".
Maybe I looked especially hungry?????Who knows.

That is the great thing about God blessing us with another day....Who knows what will happen.

Not to ask for a lot but could I please get some entries!!!
Sometimes I get insecure and think I've either made people mad,sad or just plain bored.
Just a HI would be fine...Thanks

Have a Nice Thursday...Hopefully you can "Have the Time".

LY
Check out new pictures on Photo page...

Tuesday, February 19, 2008 9:33 PM CST

I really don't feel anything to journal tonight just kind of Blank.
Lucky for you I guess.

Thinking a lot about the up-coming MRI but realizing I have not too much control over the outcome.

Abi just keeps going and never really has a complaint unless I ask...then it's a Yes that still hurts or yes that's still numb but she rises above it all and just continues with her 9 year old life.

I sometimes wish I knew exactly what she deals with physically everyday but then again I probably couldn't handle it.

Abi's been working on a new song the title is "Frustration"
It is really pretty good.

Matti is getting into the Movie "Goonies" and so she is writing a book about it. She is already on chapter 5 I love watching her write and read.

Kaydee spent the day making a house out of Kleenex and then a Hammer out of paper followed by a broom made out of straws!

Have a good Wednesday and keep rowing the boat....LY

Prayers going out to those I'm keeping close to my heart.
Prayers going out to the children and Families of the school Bus accident.

Monday, February 18, 2008 10:07 PM CST

It's hard when on a daily basis you hear about such wrongs that go on in this world.
There are so many things that happen that shouldn't!

Why does there have to be so much pain and struggle???
Is there a lesson in every situation??If that is true and we are suppose to follow the path and scrape our knee only to grow .....sometimes it just doesn't seem worth the prize.

I know through this path that we've walked with Abi It has taught me more then I could have learned on my own.
Then you look at the pain and the sacrifice and you wonder is it an even scale?

I guess all we can do is keep our little light shinning and try not to let life blow it out!
If anything it proves that Heaven must exist because this can't be all there is.
God must be telling us that when He gives us strength to get through all these hurdles.

I think we all go through days when we feel like "Victims"
and then we have those days when we feel like a "Super Hero"
Or those days that occur more often when we feel like a Beaver working so hard and praying all that we've worked for isn't washed away.

God is there I know that and I also believe He is by my side through all of this.
I just wish sometimes He could take away illness and pain and all those things that are so hard to handle in this life.

I read this book called Amanda's Gift, a Father wrote it about His daughter who has cancer.
I would like to let you read one of my favorite parts.

And so today I pray for "better" circumstances. I pray for Amanda's miraculous recovery. But I also pray to see what God is trying to show me about how to deal with her illness,about how to live with her illness;about how to love with her illness.
He may never change our condition,but I know He has changed the way I feel about it.
(Amanda's Gift By Scott MacLellan)

So really I guess all we have to do (not that it's easy) Is "Deal" with Life.
Welcome the good and "Deal" with the ugly parts.
And then try like heck to keep our light lit!

Have a Warm Tuesday!!! LY Tracie

Sunday, February 17, 2008 9:08 PM CST

Well we are back from our getaway and I must say we did have a Great time!!
I also must say It is nice to be home though.

The girls Loved the swimming I've really never seen Abi so comfortable as she was in the water.
I wish that was available for her more I really think she could be a great swimmer.

The greatest thing too was we were like everyone else...It's nice when we look at Abi's illness as part of us but not all of what were about.

I'm so very Thankful that the girls have No school tomorrow because I think we all need some rest. Matti's getting sick but it just seems to be a cold for now.
Paul's off to work so I guess no extra rest for him..sorry!

My Mom stayed at our house and took wonderful care of Lola..I think Lola loves being spoiled by Grandma.
I love coming home to my Mom because everything is so nice and clean (for a few minutes anyway).

Have a Monday!!

If you could send some prayers for Kira she's having a tough time....Prayers also for Mark,Anna,Braydon,Allison,Gavin,Tom,Cristina

Wednesday, February 13, 2008 9:27 PM CST

I don't ever remember having so many nice Valentine cards on the mantel and Valentine treats...Thank you!

The girls get so excited when they have mail it really brightens their day.
Kaydee will carry her mail around for the longest time and then finally she will retire it to her treasure drawer.

Matti gets excited because now she is reading and she doesn't need a translator.

Abi just loves anything in general.

Once again I'm reminded of how many wonderful people we have in our life....and for that I'm truly Thankful.

Abi stayed home because it was field trip day and it probably was a good idea anyway she felt pretty sick on and off most the day.

At Christmas time we received a wonderful gift..A one night stay at the Hilton by the MOA.
So this weekend we decided to plan a much needed vacation.
we are really going to enjoy the Hotel and the Girls are super excited about the pool.

The key here is to keep everyone OK so we can go...That's always the hard part about making plans that we are all excited about.
Hopefully I will have some fun pictures to post on Monday.

Have a wonderful Valentines Day....Thank you for all the LOVE you continue to shower us with...LY

Prayers going out ...Mark,Kira,Cristina,Tom,Allison,Anna,Braydon,Gavin and his new sister,Moms Club, and many more that I carry in my heart.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008 9:46 PM CST

Well last night went as smooth as trying to diet while working at a "Crispy Cream" donut shop.

Around midnight Kaydee started throwing up and not in the cute baby way more like the Large adult way.
I also learned a valuable Mom lesson...Never try to get a throwing up child to the bathroom while they are throwing up!
Yikes!!!

Abi started crying then around the same time just to add to the nighttime fun and pretty much didn't stop for several hours.

Somehow by the Grace of God Matti slept through it all.

But as nights like that come and go there is always a new day.

Today Kaydee felt better and Abi was okay just pretty wiped out.

Gillette called today....Abi has an MRI scheduled for the 28th and then a long visit with Dr.Partington..I just pray that God shows us what we need to know to make this situation better.

I gave Abi a note pad and asked her to write down when she has numbness and pain and any symptom that Dr.P needs to know about.
I felt that way when he asks what has been going on He can read it for Himself what Abi continues to go through.

Today we got some much needed sunshine in the mail..A package with lots of Valentine fun it really brightened our day...Thanks S.F

I've read so many articles about people that have constant struggles and time and time again they just keep going.
It seems they know that a better day is coming or they are making better of the day right now.

I remember as a kid my Mom would buy us a big Valentine box full of candy.
I was the type that would stick my finger in each piece looking for the kind that I really liked.
It almost seemed that once I found the one I was searching for It tasted so much better because of what I had to go through to find it!
Life is so like that...

Have a Nice day......I hope you get a box of chocolates that doesn't make you work for that one good one.

LY Tracie

Monday, February 11, 2008 9:51 PM CST

I woke up this morning and I prayed for God to just take over...It just gets hard to spend the day wondering what should be done and just waiting for someone to do "something".

Maybe today was exactly how today was suppose to be.

I just can't get frustrated anymore..of course noone feels Abi's health is as important as we do.

I just have to know it will play out and the more I go against it the more I'm only hurting myself.

Just let it play out!! I'm going to keep telling myself that until it sinks in.

Today I decided to just send Abi to school because she wanted to go so badly.
Then Dr. B called and wanted to get her in for urine tests and to see if they involved blood.
After looking at the sample I could really tell she had to have an infection.

Later today Dr.B called and said her test came back negative but the other test would take 24 hours.
Couldn't believe it no infection.

So our question was where is the blood coming from and why?
He was going to call Dr.P tomorrow and talk to him.....If anyone can stir up the pot He can!

The cold is really losing its charm....I think my feet have stayed cold for three days straight.

Thanks for coming by please once again say prayers for so many people who have to "Have stuff" And please pray for the people who love them.

I wonder if Hope is only used by people who so desperately need it?

Thanks for being here....check out new pictures on the photo page.LY

Sunday, February 10, 2008 8:53 PM CST

We had a great time today with the "Hopekids" group.
We were able to go to the Dome.
Paul and Matti roller bladed and the rest of us went on the field and played.

I must say the field looked pretty darn cool when your down there...we played ball and walked around..Abi thought the
dugout was pretty neat especially because of all the chewed gum stuck on the ceiling.

Paul will put pictures on here tomorrow.

We went by Bees and saw our friend Heather..she's the greatest! Along with all our Pals there.

Abi will be going to see Dr.B tomorrow still having some issues.
Supposedly Dr. Partington will be getting in touch with us..we will see.
Sounds like one heck of a Monday already and I haven't even ended Sunday yet.

Today I saw this little kid Roller blading and every time she would get just a little distance she would fall...and then she would get right back up and try again...once again she would fall but then she would get up......
That's the ticket put pray in the middle of that and I think it makes up a good formula.......

Live Life....Fall...Pray......Get back up

Have a Monday......LY

Friday, February 8, 2008 9:51 PM CST

I finally heard from Gillette.....Dr.Wical's nurse called and said there is really nothing more she can do with the situation. The funny thing is when we were in her office I felt so taken care of because she had a plan in place...Not really sure where that plan is now???????

I then received a call from Dr. Partington's nurse and she informed me that Dr. P is out of the Country.
I guess the good news is He will be back on Monday..she assured me that they would address Abi's issues and get back to me with some sort of plan.
I mentioned to her that I can go pretty far before I start to feel uncomfortable with her symptoms but now I'm not comfortable.

Who knows what the plan will be I couldn't even guess..If I had a choice it would be have an MRI as soon as possible and then decide on what the findings are.

Dr. Berkowitz called about the bleeding issue and He basically said If it continues get in no matter what on Monday..If she gets a fever or starts throwing up go to the ER and don't wait.
So we will wait that out and see how that goes.

Thank you for all the prayers and of course they are going back out to you.

Have a stay warm weekend!!!!LY

Thursday, February 7, 2008 10:05 PM CST

Well I called every Doctor I could think of today and pretty much left a message of "Help".

Not one Doctor called me back!
Abi's back is numb a lot and now her foot is falling asleep while walking.
I guess I'll have to go to Gillette and set myself on fire to get their attention.
One of my friends said she'd come help and bring marshmallows to roast.

Besides the Gillette stuff Today she has started bleeding when she uses the bathroom...Great..so after talking with the on call nurse we will be going in tomorrow to Childrens.

It is so easy to say I will turn this over... I will just trust God to take care of it all...When you are in the middle of it sometimes you just can't see the hand reaching to help.

We went and talked with Abi's teacher and I must say it was the first time in a long time that something in Abi's life is just working out.
Her teacher wants to make it easy for us and I couldn't even tell you how much leaving there with a good feeling meant.

My Mom came over today to watch the girls while we went to school.
The funny thing is I'm feeling so overwhelmed... usually I wouldn't ask for help because that's hard for me...But tonight I asked my Mom if she could spend the night because I really needed her here!Of course she said yes.

I've never really asked God.
to make Abi better but tonight I'm going to because I'm really worried about her.

Dear God please make Abi better..

Thanks for being here...LY Tracie

Wednesday, February 6, 2008 10:05 PM CST

Well time is up tomorrow.. I can honestly say I've been patient.
I need some answers, Abi needs answers.
Now she is having back numbness. Today she had to go to the nurse at school because she was light headed.
The bad news was she didn't have anyone walk her down there..next time she will she promised me.

Am I seeing too much in all this or do I have justification to feel panicked??

If I only had an MRI machine and of course a tech then a Neurologist and a neuro surgeon living in my house or next door that would make my life so much easier.

I did get out today and had some friend time and I also got my hair done(Thanks Lori) It felt good to be pampered a little.

Tomorrow we are going to talk with Abi's teacher she is going to help set up a new plan for Abi and her school issues.

Take care and Thank you for stopping by!

LY Tracie

Tuesday, February 5, 2008 9:59 PM CST

Some days are just easier then most...I just always feel like I have so much hanging over my head..the more I swat at it the bigger it gets.

The eye doctor went "fine" basically her lids have dropped from 9' to 6' so when I noticed her eyes being more droopy I was right...one point for Me.

She for sure has issues with blinking that has nothing to do with vision it's just her body twitches that Dr. Wical touched on.
Her right eye is continually drifting up and tends to stay at times and the left eye muscle is not great either....As you can tell it was a great visit!

Since this is not hurting her vision (which I find hard to believe) we can wait and do surgery at the first part of summer when schools out.
She will need both eyes worked on and then when she turns 12 or 13 she will do her eyelids.

So I guess tonight I'm just feeling Angry,overwhelmed,Tired I just feel like I don't want to play this game anymore !!

I remember when Paul and I were dating we would play board games quite a bit...Whenever I would lose or get frustrated with a particular game, on the Box I would write in black marker "I do not like this game" that way I would remember next time not to play it.
Well I'm taking my marker and writing it on this whole situation.........It's really not that easy.

Abi is really tired lately and it is getting worse.I'm not sure if she tries so hard at school to be like everyone else and it's really taking a toll on her or what.

Thankfully she has a great teacher and support team at school.
I have heard her say several times that she doesn't want to go to school..when I ask her why she says it's because she's just tired.
Tonight she asked me if she could stay home tomorrow and I told her to sleep on it because things tend to seem brighter in the morning.(I know that sounds so Disney)
She is just doing so well I want it to hopefully stay that way.
We might have to let her stay home one day a week to rest up.

Still haven't heard from any of Abi's Doctors..A Mom today who also goes to Gillette said that sometimes it seems like out of sight out of mind....I guess that could be true.
I'll float for now..but not long.

Tomorrow I'm going to get my hair done by a friend of mine..I'm so excited I can't wait!! I need help 911 hair emergency!
A little escape for a while.

Thanks for checking in and whatever you do DON'T Leave a message..(I'm trying reverse physiology)

Prayers going out...LY Tracie

Monday, February 4, 2008 10:05 PM CST

Thought I would just skip Sunday nights entry because with Monday around the corner I knew I couldn't clear my thoughts anyway.

I remember when I was a kid we had a swimming pool,whenever I had friends over to swim we would lay on our floats in the water and get sun.
Me being me I was never a good floater I just can't "Be" I guess you could say.
I always had to be swimming or just doing something.

Why am I telling you this boring story???
Well that's how I feel right now..I don't want to float anymore I want a plan for Abi...I tried to get some answers today but I was left with "Dr. Wical is going to talk to Dr. Partington and they will be in touch".

So basically I'm left floating!! Pass the sun screen I could be here a while.

Tomorrow we are off to get Abi's eyes tested.
From what I've learned they can really tell a lot about pressure in the head from the eyes.

Abi is just having some major issues with her right eye going up into her eyelid it seems the eye stays up there for a period of time.
She also failed her eye test at school.(shocker)
This will probably sound bad but I hope they find something so she can get some help with all this.

Can you tell I'm feeling a little frustrated!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let's talk about some bright side stuff..I do believe the mouth rashes are under control and the snow looked really pretty today. (Is that enough Yipee stuff?)

Seems like all the Chiari pages I keep up with are all just not doing well please pray for Anna,Cristina,Kira,Gaby,Laura really having a tough time right now.

On a funny note....You know how they always say your children mirror what you do well I found that to be true today.
I went to pick up Kaydee at Preschool and they are always in the gym before class is over.
I like to peek in the window to see what she's doing because it's always so cute to watch.
WELL today there she was sitting in the back seat of a two seater tricycle with a little boy half her size peddling like crazy in the front seat.
Instead of enjoying the ride there she is telling this sweet little boy ...where to go....To peddle faster...Not to go that way....pointing the entire time like she was the cruise director of a big ship...Finally she gets frustrated because He isn't meeting all her demands and just gets off the bike!

Obviously I don't need to tell you who she's mirroring between Paul and I.....ha ha

That's all for now......Prayers going out for Mark,Tom,Dick,Allison,Braydon,Gavin,Mrs.P and Family,all of you in my heart..

Love Ya...Tracie

Leave a note..try it I won't bite!

Thursday, January 31, 2008 10:30 PM CST

Hello!
I wonder to myself if there are people in the world that think they are invincible.

Is the rule that if you act like bad things won't touch you then they won't??

I see parents all the time at school that don't take the two minutes it would take to buckle their child's seatbelt.

There are so many families fighting to save their child's life so it really makes me angry when parents take a child's life for granted.
I find that I make the most parental mistakes when I Hurry or rush...We all get caught up in the life multi-tasking train.
That's when I try and step back and breathe and rearrange my priorities.

Not sure if this medicine is the one for Abi.
This morning she woke up and could barely get an eye open...She begged me for caffeine and so with her toaster strudel and cheese she had a Diet coke!

I guess I've always wanted someone to have coffee with me in the mornings I just didn't think it would be my nine year old daughter.

She is also not able to relax at bedtime and he said it would make her drowsy. Tonight I ended up giving her meletonin so she could go to sleep.

Abi was glad to be back at school though she loves it there so much. Mornings are rough but it seems she does okay later on.

Well it is field trip time and Abi is pretty excited the bad news is they are going to the Bakken Museum...to learn about electricity and magnetism.

Abi really can't be around any large magnets because it will change her shunt setting and since she has three that would not be a good thing.

Well now Kaydee has this rash thing on her hands and mouth..I don't get it I sometimes think we have bad wood or something in this house that brings on all this crazy stuff.

Time to go to bed I guess the alarm rings early and I need my Beauty sleep (Lots of it).

Take care and have a Wonderful weekend..Think Spring!

LY Tracie

Prayers going out.........

Wednesday, January 30, 2008 9:13 PM CST

The morning started as it always does with me trying to get two cups of coffee down before the zoo opens.

The Doctor did call and said that she only had one episode of apnea so that was fine BUT (there is the word all Chiari Moms wait for) She has body movements(or twitches) that are strong enough to wake her 23 times an hour! I thought at first he meant a night but No It is 23 every hour.

When asked if I've noticed..I really haven't because she is on the top bunk.
He started her on some High blood pressure medicine that is suppose to help..I gave it to her at 8:00 and she is complaining that she is really itchy??? Sure enough one in a million chance of a bad reaction we will pull the short straw.

I guess now that all this is done what is the final plan??
I think my biggest fear is that they will just let things ride but for how long?
My other fear is that they will call and want to do surgery.
I'm s0 hard to please.

Matti's rash doesn't seem to have any blisters so I think she's okay ..all that they would do is put her on an antibiotic and she already is....so that takes care of that I guess.

I read whats called a "Hope minute" It's a daily reading I get from Hopekids I'd like to share part of todays.

Relax as much as you can,
focus on others see their gifts not their faults,keep
your eyes on something
greater than your circumstances and have Hope.
Enjoy life!

Reading that helped me to focus a little clearer.It is so easy to just feel beaten and to think whats next......But I just have to remember That God wants great things for us and
He shows us a little of that Greatness everyday...We just have to be out of our circumstances long enough to notice.

That's all for now....LY Tracie

Tuesday, January 29, 2008 9:41 PM CST

I can't tell you how great it is to be home....They did take good care of us there as usual.
Abi is pretty wiped out and just needs rest (sounds funny when you have a sleep study and then you need rest).

Today she was suppose to take 5 naps and each time she couldn't..she said her mind was too busy and she couldn't sleep.
She woke up this morning at around 5:45 because she was uncomfortable and by looking at the picture you can see why.

They were pretty sure that the Doctor will call tomorrow with the results.
I really don't know if we will hear anything that we don't already know.
I guess we will see, It's really out of our hands like the rest of all this.
The good news is (I try to look on the bright side) we are done with the series of tests that Dr.Partington and Dr. Wical wanted...Now I guess we wait to see how the pieces
all come together.

Once again Abi was a real trooper and never complained once!
How does she do that???
My Mom pointed out the fact that this has been her life this is what she knows.
All this medical stuff is becoming a natural thing for her.
Not too sure if that's comforting.

Matti seems to have a bad rash around her mouth..at first I kept thinking it was just chapped now I'm not sure.
I guess I'll call Dr. B he probably misses me anyway ha ha.

It sounds like the Big bad wolf is outside blowing and I'm the little pig in the straw house.
It is just cold out there..Yikes

Have a nice day stay warm..Thanks for stopping in.

Please keep my Chiari/Syrinx friends in your prayers..Kira,Anna,Cristina, and Gavin,Mark,Dick,Tom,Allison,Braydon,MCAD kids,Hopekids,and those in our hearts.

Gods blessings to you all..LY Tracie

Monday, January 28, 2008 9:54 PM CST

When they say they are going to put on a few wires!!WOW!!

I can't believe what a trooper Abi is....I was sitting there watching them put all this stuff on her body and face and then they put a net thing over her head like a ski mask.
Top that off with a plastic thing sticking in her nose..Unbelievable.

It was really hard coming here today..I didn't want to leave the girls and Paul..Funny because I know it is only a short stay but for me this place makes me feel so anxious.

They have me sleeping in a room next door to Abi's it was heart breaking to leave her all alone in that big room she looked sad..But I understand why they do it.

We are suppose to stay here until around 5:00pm tomorrow and I'm pretty concerned about the drive home.
Hopefully it will be one of those storms that never arrive.

Funny in this room there are two beds and for some reason I get stuck sleeping in a fold out chair...I know I'm not at the Marriott..I wish!

I just don't like being away from home..AHHH
I'm a big baby..I get that about myself.

Well I guess I can stop typing now but really I don't have anything else to do??? I guess I could relax...No I wouldn't want to make it a habit..ha ha

Prayers going out to you guys...

LY Tracie

Saturday, January 26, 2008 12:43 AM CST

Have A Great Weekend.................LY

Thursday, January 24, 2008 9:39 PM CST

I spoke with another Mom today she's in "The Club".
I could just hear the pain and frustration in her voice..her daughter is hurting and she just doesn't know who to turn to so many doctors have turned them away.
That has to be the worst feeling a Mother or parent can feel that "What do I do" and "Where do we go from here".
You just pray so hard for some sort of direction but yet the guidance isn't there.

I read so many of the Chiari/syrinx caringbridge sites and there is always so much pain and surgeries but through it all these kids are so incredibly strong along with their families.
I just know that God has to be present in these situations because how could they make it through other wise.

I guess as long as you keep your paddles in the water and keep moving things will be how they are...Is it wrong to wish that someday the Motor will kick in and you'll be able to stop paddling?

Abi's had another rough day today pretty much cried on and off all day.
She's just feeling sad and overwhelmed I think.
Her body is just doing weird stuff and I'm sure that's scary for her, I know it is for us.
Talking to her BFF Elizabeth helped tonight though.

We of course made time for crafts today...the activity was painting plastic stained glass figures and then followed up by magazine cutting.

Abi has decided she is going to make the largest Rubber band ball EVER!! so if anyone has a bunch of Rubber bands that they are no longer needing she will take them!

MY 5
1. Knowing baby Haily is doing well after her surgery.

2.Making blankets and wraps for parents who sit in ICU.(IT's cold there).

3.MY MOM

4.Friends

5.All the wonderful people we have met along the way.

Prayers going out..

LY

Wednesday, January 23, 2008 10:12 PM CST

I always question sayings that are frequently used..You know like "God doesn't give you more then you can handle" and my latest question "One day at a time".

If we truly lived one day at a time wouldn't we all do things differently?
Like why would we go to work? Instead wouldn't we do something we really enjoy?
Would we pay our electric bill or any bill for that matter because if we have lights and electricity today that's all we need right?
I do believe "One Day at a time" was invented because things that are painful and too much to bare for long periods of time would really do us all in if we thought we would have to do it forever.
Do I believe that once I make it through today that tomorrow will be better and brighter? No,but what I do believe and know is that each "One Day at a time" makes me stronger and for the most part wiser.

It was a definite rough start for Abi today she was bouncing into walls dizzy, enough to where she got really sick to her stomach...I must say I feel so strongly that (Here say it with me) Her SHUNT is not working..I have decided not to make a fuss about it until after we see what the sleep study shows...We do that on Monday and Tuesday at Gillette.
After that I'm going to raise a little Neurosurgery H E double tooth picks!!

Took the girls in today and left with prescriptions for Antibiotics for them both.
We saw a Dr we don't normally see and her first comment was about Abi's Fire Red hands...I told her that we got those covered and that there was no cause for alarm.

The rest of the day went well and Kaydee and I are still on the healthy list so I'm happy about that.

Well I received a phone call from my friend Jodi and she said to consider this my 3rd surprise because she never calls anyone! So even though she gave me no choice (ha ha) I will count that as #3.

The girls received a package in the mail today (Thanks Sara)and I was so happy because it gave them some fun stuff to do they have been going a little stir crazy...

I swear if I sat still for any period of time I would be glued and cut with scissors and have pop cycle sticks coming out of both ears with a pipe cleaner glitter necklace around my neck..It has been Craft mania around her the last week.

Matti made a boat out of Newspaper the size of our kitchen table, Abi made a pet house for her stuffed animals out of a Mountain dew 12 pack box and then there's Kaydee she is making flowers with straws and paper and putting them in vases all over the house!! As for me and Lola we just try and stay out of the way.

Maybe look at life like a runner doing hurdles..jump one at a time not losing focus on the one at hand ..when you look ahead at the next hurdle it will totally throw you off from completing the first.
We all want to finish the race with as little scrapes as possible.

LY Tracie

P.S. check out the other pictures in our
View photos.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008 10:01 PM CST

Do you ever wonder when the Tennis Ball Machine of life is going to stop throwing ball after ball at you?? I mean the machine can only hold so many right?...When is the end????

I'm just walking around in a constant cloud of frustration right now...It's almost like I can't wait until evening because I want to shut the blinds and hide.

Tomorrow I will be making the trip to the Doctor..Double header..Matti is still not great and her appetite is pretty bad.
I give her a bowl of cereal and she drinks the milk but won't eat the cereal..she just isn't hungry and I get it she doesn't feel good..But for her it really isn't a choice.

Abi.... I really don't know what to say there..so I won't.

Anyway they will both be checked and we will go from there.

Call me silly but I can't believe the Joy "Idol" brings to my life....I just really find pleasure in watching grown people cry (Just kidding) I just like to watch people make fools out of themselves it makes me feel normal.

Tomorrow will be my friend Carole's Birthday I started last year writing her poems so I thought I would grace her with another.........

"Carole"

Roses are white
your hair is brown
My life is so much
better with you around.

Today your older and
young again we will never be
But we'll be fine because
I've got you and you've got me.

Happy birthday!!!!

Okay I never said I was a poetry expert.

I'll never forget walking up honeywell Hill and seeing various Roadkill along the way..I used to think to myself
Now that's a bad day!!!
So look both ways when you cross the street and have a great day.

P.S. 2 surprises down 3 to go.......

Prayers going out for Mrs. Peach's Father who will be having surgery Wed., Prayers for Laura,Kira,Allison,Anna,Mark,Cristina,Braydon,LL,Nichole,Gavin,Dick,Hopekids,
Chiari Families,MCAD Families,Mom's club

LY Tracie

Monday, January 21, 2008 10:03 PM CST

I love those E-mails that people send around.....Send this E-mail to 6 of your friends and you will get good news a new car and more money then you could roll in!!

Okay it never says all that but close.
The funny thing is I think is the fact that they are so popular.
It makes me wonder if we all are looking for "Good News" or that wonderful surprise that we so very much need in our life to make all the gloomy stuff seem better some how.

I must admit I gave in and sent one back and to 9 friends today because It said if I sent it to 9 people I would get 5 surprises (Good I think) in 3 days!!!
Not sure why today I gave in but for some reason I felt like the boost would be nice....That is if you believe in all that computer Jeanie stuff.

It almost makes me feel like I'm taking away something from God though.
When good things happen and "Miracles" It's usually the Big Guy that gets the credit.
But I guess God can have His hands in many things maybe computer wishes is one of them....I guess it's good training for believing in something you can't see.

I know I carry a little tin box in my purse and in it are several good luck charms...some might question how well they are working....But none the less I would feel lost without them.
There are times when I will take one out and hold it tightly in one hand....for me it is a physical reminder that Gods there and with me.
Sometimes it helps to have something to hold on to.

The days seem kind of long right now..like waiting in line for the bucket of cookies at the state fair.
I just don't like not knowing what the plan is..of course my mind goes directly to surgery the one we probably should of done months ago.
Everyday I'm just watching Abi and hoping that her little body stays strong and gives us time to figure all this out.

I'm trying to protect her but not scare her...she has been feeling really light headed at times..today I told her that whenever she feels that way to sit down.
I don't care if it's a floor a chair just sit...all we would need is for her to pass out and hit her head.

It's reasons like that I'm not sure if I will be sending her back to school right now unless she feels she can do it.
I guess the question is can I do it???

Matti is feeling up and down....she will be good for a couple hours then she is bad again.

Looks like Wilshire will be getting a double Absentee from the C family.

I know I'm just going on and on...Blah Blah
I can barely stand to read this tonight and I'm the one writing it...

Don't worry I will let you know when my 5 "Surprises" roll in.
Actually I received one already so that's 1 down 4 to go.

MY 5
1.Hearing that People from the Bridge accident are going to sue!!!

2.We all watched Gladiators and the girls all decided they are going to be some type of big muscled girl with names like Crusher,Strong Princess and Smasher.

3.Being Home and being warm..The girls pray every night for the people who are cold.

4.Computer wishes

5.Gods Blessings

LY Tracie

Leave a note if you have time......Thanks

Sunday, January 20, 2008 9:51 PM CST

Our Lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter

-Martin Luther King Jr.

If a Man hasn't discovered something
that he will die for,
he isn't fit to live.

-Martin Luther King JR

The weekend was full of coughs, runny noses and lots of (how can I put this nicely) Stuff.

Paul didn't feel good and Matti is right there with him.
Problem with Matti is we have to keep her eating and right now she really isn't wanting to..But she knows if she doesn't we are off for a visit to the hospital.

Abi has just had an overall feeling of "Bad" and for me I'm not real comfortable with the way she is looking.
Her eyes look like the women on the Spanish soap operas when they cry and their make-up runs....they are so dark.

The Nurse called on Friday and basically said Dr. Wical is waiting to hear what Dr. Partingtons Neurosurgeon plan is??

I guess after not being able to sleep last night and staying up until 3am I'm waiting to hear it myself.

I read the report from our Visit with Dr. Wical and it sure didn't say the usual..Most the time I'm trying to make them believe what I see...Not this time though..She saw alot.
I spent most the evening yesterday looking up words on the computer to try and find out what they mean.

Words like Dysautonomia and multifocal myoclonus not words I want to be looking up I'll tell you that.

We did squeeze some fun into the weekend with board games and movies.
Paul will be going back to work tomorrow even though his voice still sounds like a Big Bear.....Hopefully Matti will be able to return soon..Abi not so sure she will be going back right now.

We will see..........

My 5
1.The wonderful Entries I received on Friday..Thank You!

2.Laughing really hard as I tried to workout to my WW DVD...I'm not a Yoga expert that's for sure.

3.Kaydee constantly coming up to us saying "How do you spell- You are nice and I like your eyes"?
And other sentences all day long.

4.Looking at pictures of Sophia and remembering what a special little girl she was.

5. Staying inside and staying warm.

Prayers going out..LY and thanks for being here!

Thursday, January 17, 2008 9:30 PM CST

Several times during my Caringbridge Journey a comment or an E-mail has made me question if I should be real with what my life is like.
Then I wonder if that were the case would everything I journal be what I'm truly feeling or would it be merely something I think you would want to hear.

I think caringbridge was started because Parents like me need this ....I need a place where I can be real and not hold anything back because of fears of judgment.

I don't know if I'm doing things right.. half the time I feel lucky if I get a pair of shoes on that match.
What I can say is I am doing the best I can with the situation I've got and I'm definitely learning along the way.

This situation we are in with Abi isn't getting easier for us.....the longer it seems to play out the harder it seems to get to even handle a little of it.

So please If you visit our site try not to find fault with things we may do or say Just read it with an open heart and then pray for us.

Thank You and have a nice weekend...LY Tracie

Wednesday, January 16, 2008 9:21 PM CST

Thanks for checking in......

Today at Gillette was long and pretty emotional.
First we met with Abi's Neurologist (Dr.Wical) and she found some definite changes in Her exam.

Abi has now developed Myoclonus (involuntary Movements)that is what all the twitches have been.

Turns out her hand rashes are probably being cause by issues with her temperature gauge and that is of course in the middle of the brain BUT flows down by the brainstem! It also explains why her hands are always wet and clammy.

Her face is definitely different as far as drooping in the eyes.(I was sure of that one)

She was unable to tell which direction her big left toe was being lifted (Up or down)..That's scary.

She agreed that the syrinx is starting to cause some Big problems.

So she decided she will be speaking with Dr. Partington about all this and then we will see what the test from today shows and she will call me.

The test went well Abi had some pretty bad burning pain under her knees at times but then they changed things around and once all her meds kicked in she was able to relax for the rest of the test.

I'm not feeling really good right now and from the news today I'm pretty sure that feeling is only going to get worse.
I'm going to light a candle and pray extra hard tonight even though I'm pretty sure all the prayers in the world can't change this situation.
the best I can hope for is that God will stand by us no matter what we are about to face.

Prayers going out for Kim P. and her family,Baby Haily,Kira,Hopekids and families,Mark,Braydon,Kira,Allison,Anna,Gavin

Wednesday, January 16, 2008 5:54 PM CST

Tuesday, January 15, 2008 6:37 PM CST

Around here we always go around the dinner table and say our best part of the day,worst part and then the funny part.

So tonight that is the format I will use.

The best part of my day was finding out Abi's test tomorrow will not involve Big needles and basically the Heavy medication dose is to make her extremely relaxed.
I can't tell you what a relief that is.(please keep us in your prayers tomorrow..not sure what we will find out).

The worst part of my day was Snyders charging me more for my medication because our insurance messed up and then of course they assumed people have lots of money in their checking so it really wouldn't matter but since the person was me I bounced 5 checks but then Wells fargo credited half of the $$ they charged me back but because it was not a bank error We would just have to eat the rest!!
Now that's a worst part of a day..Yikes

The Funny part of my day was since I am the type to face a bad situation and make it better I decided to go on-line and type in "Make Extra cash" anyway to make a long story short it led me to Market research a weight loss study.

How bad could that be I need to lose some pounds and if I could do that and make $$ why not.

Well they called and asked me many questions and because my weight isn't that bad and since it hasn't caused me to have any serious health problems she assumed I'd be turned down.

I assured her I have anxiety and stress and depression problems and she asked if that was weight related ?? I said No but It's life related and doesn't that make you over eat and put on weight?
Anyway she said I could still come by and try to get in to the study maybe they will find I don't carry my weight well...Never Mind!!

Another funny thing about today was I keep hearing about a Recession and how there is a fear that will happen????
You mean to tell me we haven't already been in it?? You mean these are the best of times and it's going to get worse!!

Check Please!!

Love ya Lots

My favorite Karaoke song to sing is "I'm Here for the Party"
That totally describes my life doesn't it???

Prayers going out...Baby Haily is having surgery Wed. send prayers....

Monday, January 14, 2008 10:02 PM CST

Mondays never seem to let me down.....They are pretty much always Terrible!!
Don't worry I won't go into all the wonderful details.

There were some good points though..The girls got to school okay even Abi with her stiff neck.
Funny how things change with her, right now we have arm pain and a stiff neck..also her nose never stops running??? I don't get that and it's not only at home when she's out too!

Kaydee had a great visit at the dentist she giggled the entire time her teeth were being cleaned....No cavities and she has great spacing.(That's one for our team).

Well the girls got their YoYo's today because they earned all the behavior checks.
They really are enjoying them.
Kaydee not so much....Tonight we were in the living room and she was in her bedroom all of a sudden we hear a loud screaming cry!!!
You guessed it she hit herself in the eye with the YoYo.
Hopefully there will not be a big bruise.

Tomorrow I'm off for my yearly Mammogram I always get a little nervous because it's tests like this that have painfully changed a lot of lives.

Am I being grumpy?? I just feel like I am..sorry!
I think once I get through Wednesday I will feel better.
Would that be considered conditional Happiness?

Have a nice day..Stay Warm!

Update on Baby Haily her surgery was postponed until Wednesday...Please keep prayers going for her.

Prayers going out to those in my heart.

LY Tracie

Sunday, January 13, 2008 10:06 PM CST

Friday we received the call from Gillette saying that Abi's EMG and EEG will be on Wed. after the appt. with her Neurologist.

I don't know why it hit me so hard that day but I just felt sick after the call.
They mentioned to me that I needed to bring her codeine and valium because they will be giving her that before the test!!!
If that doesn't tell you how painful this will be nothing does.
I just felt like I couldn't do one more thing to that poor little girl..I just sat with her last week when they were poking her with tubes as she laid there crying and now here we go again!
It doesn't really help to know how much she needs this test ..and then there is the fact that if they do find that the syrinx is causing damage then we will be facing "The Surgery" that noone wants.

I make the mistake and I watch "Extreme Home Makeover" I cry everytime without fail whenever there is a sick child involved.
It's the look in the Mothers eyes that I can relate to...I think all of us who have a sick child for any period of time
Have that look.
They all seem to have Hope but at the same time they feel so much sadness and I think physically beaten.

The funny part is we all pretty much started out the same way..with the same dreams.
I guess we never would of imagined how everyday can be such a blessing but yet so draining.

I think depending on if you want to be honest about it or not having a sick child is such a daily struggle..there are so many daily emotions......I think when you finally come to terms with the fact that this is how things are going to be
maybe it gets a little easier.

Then you have wonderful nights out like we did on Saturday at the Swarm game and somehow it makes it clear why we fight.
"Hopekids" has already had a positive influence on us and we've only been to one function.

The girls (and Paul and I) are all addicted to Lacrosse..Wow we didn't want the game to end.
Abi and I loved the part when you got to yell "Take a seat"
to the other team when a player was naughty.

When I looked over at Abi with that huge smile on her face it made me realize why we try and make her life the best possible.
Unfortunately for her that sometimes means tests and surgeries.
I really believe she probably handles these things better then me.

The only bad part of the night was when Abi forgot to pull her stadium seat back down after she stood up.
She ended up falling and of all places hitting the back of her neck....so if it wasn't already stiff now it's really stiff.
Tears came down but then she wiped them off and said let's get back to watching the game..we thought for sure we'd have to leave but she loved the game so much there was no way she was leaving early.

Well tomorrow's Monday..all that's planned for me is Kaydee goes to the dentist..I hope all of you have a good day.

Prayers going out to Baby Haily (One of the twins)she is currently in the NICU and she will be having surgery on Monday. Her brother is doing well..Please keep Christine and her family in your prayers this time can't be easy on a New Mom of twins.
Prayers for Gaby,Kira,Rossi,Cristina,Kira,Mark,Dick,Joe,Allison,Anna,Gavin
Tom,Lots more that are in my heart.....

LY Tracie

P.S. Thank you so much Kim..............

Friday, January 11, 2008 3:56 PM CST

Have a Nice weekend everyone ....LY

Thursday, January 10, 2008 10:09 PM CST

Tonight Abi had a concert at the High school and it was delightful and stressful all in one.

This probably will not make me very popular but to be completely honest I was very uncomfortable watching Abi on stage.
Don't get me wrong I feel blessed that she was able to do it and seeing the joy on her face while she was doing it was great....But It made me sad to see how different her face looked and how twitchy she was..I never just sit and look at her straight on and I have to say It was hard.

I wanted to just hug her and tell her how sorry I am for everything we've done to her.

The wonderful thing about the Wilshire Park music department is the fact that instead of holding kids with disabilities on the sidelines they let them shine and I couldn't be happier about that.

Have a Wonderful weekend.........LY Tracie

Wednesday, January 9, 2008 9:25 PM CST

It seems at times in life you are just at the top of your game. Things are just flowing and your walking around with a little singing bird on your shoulder.

Then there are the other times when everything seems in the air....You aren't taking care of yourself,every decision seems wrong and you just feel picked on.
Not picked on by anyone in general just picked on by life.

Everyday I think to myself that today will be the day that I get back on track but then it ends and the result is the same.

I guess sometimes your Ducks have to be out of order and maybe It teaches you something.....The longer I live the more I learn how little control I really have over my life...I have to say I don't like that fact.
I do believe that God does have my best interest in mind I think really it's His timing I don't like.

Not really any news on the blood tests..I did get a call saying it wasn't Mono , I never thought it was.
If I were to bet all my chips I would place them on the space that says "SHUNT MALFUNCTION".

We are planning our first activity with the "Hopekids" group and we are really looking forward to it.
We are going to the Excel center for the season opener of The Minnesota Swarm Lacrosse...Don't ask me what that is because I have no idea or do I care...A chance to get out as a family I'm in.

We got a call today asking if we want to be in a suite for the game......Yes!! How fun will that be.

Still waiting to hear on when Abi's EMG test will be??? I can't even imagine how they will do that from what I read they stick a needle in the muscle!!Yikes..I stopped reading after that because I just don't want to know.

Paul went to the Doctor today and He is being referred to a sleep clinic..It looks like Abi and Paul will be doing a sleep study..too bad we can't get a two for one.

Have a great day and here's hoping your Ducks stay in their row where they belong.

Prayers going out .. Rossi(a chiari kid who was in a very bad car accident) Mark,Anna,Allison,Braydon,Dick,Gavin,Cristina,Kira,
MY Mom,and all those who are in my heart

Jodi M what do you think about this border???
LY Tracie

Tuesday, January 8, 2008 10:04 PM CST

The appointment went fine and basically most of the issues are more of a neurological area....

He did order a lot of blood work so He can look at pretty much everything that blood shows you.
We should hear back tomorrow on some of the tests.
I don't want to hear bad news but I would like a reason for her being so tired all the time.

Paul's day didn't go too well His car is in bad shape It wobbles and the engine light keeps coming on (That's never good).
He also pulled his neck somehow on the way home and he has to go to the Doctor tomorrow because of his sleep issues....I really think it's sleep apnea.(I'm no doctor though)

Well it is the start of a brand new year!!!! Yee....Haw!

Dr. B did say He thinks I've calmed down a little ...He can remember a time when Abi was in the hospital for months and there I would be waiting for Him in the morning to make rounds so I could question what he wrote on her chart ( I learned that from Nichole)...and there was the time I grabbed him by his name tag that was hanging around his neck .......I guess I have mellowed a little.

Well basically besides the blood tests pending we are pretty much in the same little boat we were in before.
It is always great to see Dr. B he just makes me feel better about things.
He will also be sending out notes to all Abi's Doctors so we will be on the same page.

My 5 Today
1.Watching Matti today in her classroom.

2.Mentioning to Kaydee that she needs to learn our phone number...and then she starts saying it perfectly and then says I learned it on my toy cell phone!

3.Being able to get Paul in to see the Doctor tomorrow.

4.Abi and I giggling at the clinic lab today because this lady kept complaining over and over about how long it takes to get a blood draw.......if that's all you have to BooHoo about consider yourself lucky.

5.Seeing my Mom today even though I was crabby.

Prayers going out to Chiari Families and MCAD Families and the Families that I hold close to my heart.

LY Tracie

Monday, January 7, 2008 10:09 PM CST

I'm feeling so anxious about our appointment tomorrow with Dr.B..I know something is going wrong with Abi but the problem is just because I see it doesn't mean He will.

That is one of the most frustrating things about having a child with a chronic illness....You just know when somethings not right but if she can touch her toes and walk somewhat straight they usually send you on your way with a smile.

I did talk with Dr.B today I just wanted to tell him where I'm coming from with this appointment.
I told him that I just don't think she is doing very well and I would like him to really check her over to make sure she's okay.
I guess if He assures me she's fine I will be alright(Maybe) until we see her neurologist next week.

She is also having pain along her shunt???They always tell you to look along the tubing that is under the skin to check for redness..How is that possible when she has so many scars on her head I could never tell them apart.

I'm going to breathe in and out right now I'm getting a little stressed.....It's hard not to be when I'm sitting here and she keeps calling me in her room crying because she can't get comfortable.AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

School did go good for everyone I think they were glad to see their friends and teachers.
Kaydee also informed me that the girl bully at school is nice now....Is it a miracle or just some great teacher involvement ???

Well I've taken up knitting again (I did it once for two weeks) and once again I'm terrible at it.
What I've been working on looks like a sponge that ended up in the garbage disposal.(Twice)
I just don't get it everyone in my family sews or knits or does all that other complicated stuff with thread...But not me...They even all play an instruments....But not me...God gave me these two hands and all I've found talent wise is cooking and picking up dog poop???????

We are all cutting back on fat and sweets around here..Abi is having a tough time because she misses her Lays potato chips......We are only allowed two sweets a day (Like two cookies or pieces of candy).
Tonight I ate 6 pieces of licorice so that means because of that I give up my treats for two days !!Yikes
Tough penalty for 6 pieces of wax.

Well things seem to be quiet so I'm going to go to bed...This really turned out to be a great entry....From Doctors to knitting and ending with Licorice.
That's why I get the readers I guess..... because I'm Nuts and it makes people feel better about their own lives.

Prayers of Hope,Blessings and God's wonderful grace..

MY 5
1. Being okay with my mental problems.

2.My furry pink slippers.

3.Knowing that when I go to bed God will be wondering if I would like to turn all this "stuff" over to Him to handle or if I would like to keep it and suffer some more.

4.The blessing that My Girls have Great Teachers..Thank You!

5.Dr. Berkowitz..Knowing He is really on our side.

LY Tracie

Please leave a note!!!!!!!

Sunday, January 6, 2008 10:16 PM CST

Sometimes I can feel so connected and everything just flows the way it is suppose to.
Then there are other days like now that I feel unsure of my next step.
I feel so much frustration tonight because I believe God is showing me things wrong with Abi but He hasn't showed me what to do about it yet???At least I don't think He has.

I made her an appointment with Dr. B because I just want him to look at her...just give her a look over we are going on Tuesday.
The rash on both the tops of her hands really has me baffled..I have looked up everything I can think of to find out what could be the cause of this???
I've gotten no where in my search.

I will be sending her to school but probably will feel a little uneasy until I can pick her up.
I guess we will see how it goes.

The girls have expressed feeling a little nervous about school tomorrow because they aren't used to going...Kaydee is concerned because of a little girl bully...I'm sure it will all work out.

Why does life have to feel like a constant wind storm..I get things situated because there's a brief moment of calmness and then the winds kick in again and it messes everything up.

I'm still going to keep trying though...The way I look at it There is a handful of bad in this world but you take it you dig in it and you find the good....sometimes you have to dig a little longer but eventually it's there.

Have a Monday.....LY

MY 5
1.Watching Kaydee say her prayers at night.

2.Knowing God gives me all I need.

3.Walking in the slush.

4.Dancing to the "Hairspray" Movie with the girls.

5.Paul cooking dinner Saturday (It was cute..good too).

Prayers going out.....

Thursday, January 3, 2008 9:46 PM CST

After a long all day event all we learned was Abi has an extra large Bladder even bigger then most adults.
The good news is there are no medical interventions needed..
Abi rated her leaking issues a 3 on a scale of 1-10 so the urologist decided no medication for now.

Abi did very well today she cried a little but found the bright side of it all...She loved the ride on the X-ray table she said it went up so high she felt like a Super-Hero (I think she is one).

While we were waiting to see the urologist we went to get a bite Abi was having some issues her eyes were funny and she said she felt really dizzy so really her Bladder issues are the least of my worries right now.
I wonder when school starts back if she will be okay there??
I guess all we can do is try it.

The next step if nothing comes up sooner is a visit with her Neurologist Dr. Wical next week.
I might have to bring her in to see Dr. B if her hands get any worse.

Before I go to bed It really helps me to just turn the whole situation over to God...I know that sounds like just something to say but for me It has helped.
I found myself crying and stressed out before bed wondering what I should do to fix all this...Now I realize I don't have to fix all this and I pray every night for God to just show me what I
need to know in order to help Abi and I believe He does.

Someone sent a card to us today and I'd like to share part of it..........

You're coping with so much.
It can't be easy,
but you're doing so well.

Just remember, every minute you are coping
someone's caring!

That is the kind of Love and support that keeps the Christopherson Family going......You may not think one simple card can make a difference but It does.

Have a nice weekend and reach out to let someone know you care about them.........It matters

LY Tracie

MY 5
1.Abi enjoying the X-ray table.

2.Getting an A+ on our Urology tests (Good test results..nice for a change).

3.The Girls have been earning Check marks on a chart because they want to buy a Yo Yo when the "Yo Yo man" comes to school..They have to reach 20 basically by the 11th they are all at 15..Tonight Kaydee lost 10 but after taking that many away her eyes teared up and as strong as my parental skills usually are I had to give back 9.(The Super-Nanny would not be happy with me).

4.Cards in the mail that catch you at just the right moment.

5.Gods constant direction.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008 10:03 PM CST

The Christmas denial is done now and It is time to get back to what unfortunately still waits for us.

Tomorrow Abi has some testing that I know she will not be looking forward to.....I'm finding it hard to go and I will only be a spectator.
The bad thing about the Internet is you can find out what medical testing procedures exactly are and whats involved...The good of course is you know what to expect.

It's a shame the year couldn't of started differently for Her instead it's pretty much the same stuff.

Of course she still has that same Strong attitude about life...She just floats above it all and smiles.

Hopefully the tests will not be as bad as they sound... But Anytime it takes an hour and a half to just prep for them DANGER!!!

We will get to talk to the Doctor at the end of the day and finally will get some results....Good/Bad unsure.

I have to say I'm glad we have a Holiday break....The food alone about killed me...I never knew my stomach could hold so much.

I do love a fresh year and a new start but part of me feels a little on shaky ground..Like one of those bobble dolls you put on your dashboard, I'm grounded but my suction cup could come loose at any minute.

Matti's front tooth is coming in YEA!!! We were all getting a little nervous thinking she would live her adult life with one front tooth.
Kaydee is being Kaydee spilling stuff faster then I can follow her with Paper towels and cleaner.

I really have enjoyed being with them during this break I never knew how much I missed them.
It will be hard to have them go back to school ( I know I can't believe I'm saying this either).
They are just growing up so fast.

Now that I have tears in my eyes and can't see the computer screen.

A friend of mine was beating herself up today with "MOM Guilt" It is so hard to be in charge of other people and especially little people.
I just have to believe that in years to come when our children are older they will remember the feeling of being loved and hopefully not the errors we have made along the way.
My Mom raised my brother and I pretty much on her own after my Dad left I was 2 months old and Todd was I think 4.
From what she has told me we didn't have much at all and she worked two jobs and felt a lot of guilt because she had to leave us to make ends meet.
I don't remember not ever having enough or seeing my mom stressed out or not being able to give me the attention a child needs.......What I do recall is the Love that we three had together and that through the years is what has stuck in my memories.

We may not be mind readers or Detectives so yes we may mess up from time to time but I think if we are loving our Children everything else works itself out.(with Gods help of course and lots of praying).

Well have a nice day and don't be too disappointed if 2008 doesn't start with a Bang...I think life holds a new exciting experience everyday I don't need to change the year on a calender for that.

LY Tracie

MY 5
1.The way Kaydee sits in her Car (Made from a box and duct tape) and watches her favorite TV show.
2.Abi's spirit
3.The writers strike..frees me up in the evenings.
4.Time as a family.
5.Singing Karaoke (I must be going deaf because I think I'm good..ha ha)

Prayers going out.....................

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