History

Monday, July 06, 2005 5:15 AM EDT

Dear Friends and Families,

Shari Harlan passed away at 5:15AM on July 6, 2005 from complications related to her reoccurring cancer. She passed away peacefully in the care of ORMC Hospital in Orlando, Florida. Information regarding the Memorial Service and Honorary Reception (tentatively planned for Friday, July 8th) and the arrangements for an Honorary Scholarship Fund in Shari’s name will posted here to this guest book. For any questions; please contact Jim Moudy at 321-438-5679 and we will try to get answers for you.

Shari held out until her Birthday (today) and probably got what she wished for. She is the strongest woman ... strike that ... she is the strongest person and the kindest, most generous human anyone ever met. WE ALL LOVE YOU SHARI!!!

Monday, June 13, 2005 11:23 PM CDT

Hi family and friends,

I had my chemo port put in last week. I am so thankful for it because the chemo was doing a number on my arm. I have a vein shortage right now.

I went to the doctor today for an ultrasound. They found a cyst on my PET scan but are pretty sure it's benigh. I couldn't really accept that answer so they did an ultrasound.

I also got a Procrit shot today. When they took blood they found my white blood cell count is dangerously low. I wasn't feeling well all week-end and now I know why. I have to get shots for the next 2-3 days try and raise it up. I also have to wear a mask. It's VERY attractive. It's peach. I'm running to my closet right after I hit submit to figure our a complimentary outfit for the occasion.

My parents have been visiting for the last 2 weeks. We've had a very good visit. My grandson Troy is very sick and my parents are heading over to Tampa to spend the night with Karissa. Troy has had a fever since early Sunday and hasn't been able to keep any food down. I think they may go to the emergency room tonight. Please keep him in your prayers too! That little boy is medicine for me. He's a perfect "spoiled" angel.

I've got two appointments this week with naturopathic physicians. I'm hoping for a complimentary therapy that will help me feel better.

That's about it. I'm anxious to get out in the sunshine on my pretty purple Harley.

Life is good. Please appreciate and give thanks for your good health. I know I didn't enough and now give thanks when I get 5 good minutes. Today was a good day, I had several hours of feeling pretty good so lots of THANKS today!

Well... off to bed. Keep the prayers coming. I feel them working already!! The power of prayer and the Lord is absolutely amazing.

Shari

Monday, June 6, 2005 9:39 PM CDT

Hi everyone,

I'm going tomorrow to get my port put back in. I had it removed after all my treatments were through... guess I jumped the gun a bit.

For those of you that don't know - the doctor inserts a port inside my skin on my chest and attaches to a vein. This is where they hook up the chemo and take blood. It's nice because you never have to worry about veins in your arm. Needles are YUCKY or GUCKY as Troy boy would say ;-)

I sent my medical file to a naturopathic physician in Oregan that the Cancer Centers of America recommended. I want to do some supplements but it's so confusing knowing who to trust. Everyone has the "miracle" cure. This lady has had 2 years pre-med and 2 years ed in naturopathic medicine. She also interned for 2 years at Cancer Centers of America and worked with a lot of cancer patients. She's used to working hand in hand with oncologists on a plan that makes coincides with my traditional treatment. Wish me luck. I'm hoping she can help with my blood counts, energy level and pain management.

Now that I have a copy of my file - I'm going to send it to several doctors. I'm sure there is a doctor out there somewhere that can help me. There are new treatments coming out every day!

I've been getting lots of e-mails, calls and cards. Thank-you sooooooo much. If I owe you a call or e-mail - hang tight... I will get back to everyone.

Love you!!

Wednesday, June 1, 2005 10:17 AM CDT

Hi everyone,

I'm back by popular demand ;-) As most of you know, my cancer is back. I haven't updated the website because in some ways it's admitting what I'm going through.

This one is a little harder. I'm going to need a lot more prayers and positive thoughts. The cancer has spread to my liver. I'm in a lot of pain but trying to maintain as normal of a life as I can.

It's because of all of you that I can bear this. I can't tell you what it means to get an e-mail or a journal entry. On especially hard days, it gives me the strength to fight!!

I know a lot of you feel like you don't know what to say or how to help. I'll make it easy on you and tell you exactly what I need from my family and friends.
* Prayers (Especially for healing and pain relief)
* Occasional phone calls (You may leave a voice mail and I may not call you back right away - but know that the voice mail means the world to me.
* Cards in the mail (E-mail cards are nice but I'm way behind on e-mail and I like to spread the cards around my house and enjoy them.
* Positive thoughts - you know all those hoaky e-mails you get... They are really good medicine for me right now.
* A visit.. I live in Orlando.. everyone wants to come to Orlando, right ;-)
* I don't need gifts - but if you feel that you have to buy me something.. Restaurant gift certificates are helpful for the nights I don't feel like cooking, spa treatments and movie gift certificates are an excellent escape from fighting cancer ;-)

I'll start updating more often. I'll give you the details of my treatment and prognosis. Right now I'm taking my file to several doctors until someone says they can make me as good as new ;-) I've heard lots of miraculous stories of healing and that is my expectation for me!!

I also believe that chemo and radiation alone won't heal me completely - it's going to be a combination of prayer, naturopathic medicine, nutrition and exercise.

Thanks again for your thoughts and prayers. I feel like the most fortunate person in the world to have such a network of awesome people helping me with this battle.

Thursday, February 24, 2005 9:05 PM CST

Hi everyone,

Well... I finished my last treatment!!! All that is left is a couple of surgeries in around 6 months. It's been an interesting year.

I've learned a lot. First - I have a lot of friends that I appreciate so much. It would be impossible to get through this without a strong support system.

Second - It's very important to have peace in this life. Find your peace. Do what makes you happy... Spend time with people that honor and love you.

Third - Love your work. I've been fortunate to find a job that I really love. When you do something you love for work - it's not like work. I'm so blessed with the type of work I do and the people I work with.

The pictures attached are from a surprise party my office friends threw for me after my last radiation. This is the kind of support I've had from my friends at work from the beginning. Everyone wore pink - served my favorite chips and salsa - bought several bouquets of pink flowers and balloons - and had a big homemade card and a yummy cake. Sometimes I have to pinch myself because I can't believe I work with such a wonderful group!!

I guess this will most likely be my last entry for awhile. I'm glad I had a place to share my experience with all of you.

A few parting words... mammogram, mammogram, mammogram. For you or any women you love in your life....

Bye now

Thursday, February 17, 2005 6:03 PM CST

Hi everyone,

Well.... I can count the number of treatments I have left on one hand (minus a thumb.) ;-) That's 4!!

I will have my last radiation on Feb. 23rd.

I'm also moving to Orlando this week-end. That will be the end of the long commutes. What will I do with all that time... ride my motorcycle?, work-out, rest, work more, shop... I guess I have lots of options.

Thanks for all your love and support. You've made a hard journey much easier. I love you all!

Shari

Thursday, February 3, 2005 7:21 PM CST

Hi everyone,

It's 2/3 and I've got 14 more radiations to go. So far, so good. My skin is starting to look very sunburned. I have a little rash under my arm but no pain and itching yet. It's much better than CHEMO!

I had to have my eyebrows waxed on Saturday. I had about an inch solid strip across my forehead! I'm exaggerating a little... but not much. When the hair comes back, it comes back with a vengeance.

I still don't have enough hair to feel comfortable without a wig. It's coming back pretty thick, but very salt and pepper.... is that the cancer or being 40... I'm not sure ;-)

I attached some pictures from Troy's 2nd birthday. He made me proud when he opened a gift that had 6 motorcycles in it and he said really loud and excited, "CHOPPERS!" (and they were choppers ;-) He is very good medicine for me!!

Karissa and I went to see Hank Williams Jr on Saturday. It was a lot of fun!!

That is my news for now. I'll try to write more. Keep those prayers coming. I've got some "non-medical" personal problems right now and I can use all the help I can get!

Love you all. Stay in touch.

Wednesday, January 19, 2005 11:41 AM CST

Hi everyone,

I'm a week and a half into radiation now. It's going okay. So far I can't see a big change in my skin. I guess that will come somewhere around the 1/2 way point. It's time consuming but not as hard on my body as chemo. The radiation waiting room is a happier place than the chemo room. I guess everyone is nearing the end of their treatment and looking forward to a life without daily or weekly doctors visits - as am I!!

I met with a nutritionist today. She stressed the importance to NOT lose weight right now, but try to maintain through proper nutrition. She said that it will still be a couple of months for the steroids to completely leave my body and my weight should go down to normal after that. I know part of the problem was that I got very inactive towards the end of my chemo and nothing tasted good so I ate anything I wanted. Still... I'm starting to have trouble fitting into my clothes and it makes me a little miserable. I thought FAT and HAPPY were synonymous :-)

This week-end is Troy's 2nd birthday. We're having a party at the park for him. It's hard to believe he's 2 already.

Karissa and I are going to see Hank Jr and Big and Rich next week-end. It should be fun and bring back lots of Flora memories.

It's a chilly 40 something in Florida today. A couple of days ago we had a wind chill below freezing. brrrrrrrr

Stay in touch.

Sunday, January 9, 2005 8:28 AM CST

Hi everyone,

I hope your holidays were wonderful. I'm looking forward to a bright, new year!

Radiation starts tomorrow. My chest currently has blue magic marker lines all over the place. The radiation technicians make a cast of your upper body shape. Each time you go in for radiation they put you in your cast so you're in the same position. They also do a catscan and compare it to pre-surgery scans to decide where to shoot the radiation. Then they make a mold that fits in the machine so the radiation only goes to bad cell areas. They also put three tiny tattoos on your body to line you up in the cast and draw all over you with lines to make it easier to line everything up.

My hair started growing back during the last round of chemo but it's still very thin, especially on top. I think I look like bozo. I can tell now that chemo is over, it looks like what is growing now is thicker and a different color. I'm anxious to have hair again.

A guy I know that has long hair just got diagnosed with lymphoma. He starts chemo soon and is going to donate his hair to locks of love today. I know it's not as hard on men to lose their hair as women, but I think it will be hard for him. He has very long, beautiful hair. His name is Andy. Please keep him in your prayers.

I'm looking forward to a year that doesn't include weekly doctor's appointments, feeling tired, and not being able to think clearly. I think the amount of time for all this is wearing on my a bit. It was a year ago this month that I found the lump and it's been an emotional rollercoaster ever since.

Thanks for all your love and support. I couldn't have come this far without all of you. I know those that are closest to me are ready for "Shari" to be back - so am I!

I love you all. I'll keep you informed about the radiation.

By the way - it's a beautiful and sunny 80 degrees here in Florida today ;-)

Wednesday, December 15, 2004 1:13 PM CST

Chemo is over! YEA! Now on to radiation. Really, it's just an expensive tanning bed ;-)

I had a plastic surgeon's appt this week. He gave me one more fill-up... xtra cleavage for my holiday party ;-) I've heard that radiation will change the elasticity of my skin so they overfill so that in the end I'll be more balanced. Woo hoo!

Karissa and I are getting excited about our cruise. We bought a couple of new dresses and we're all set.

I miss you all. Stay in touch! Have a very happy holiday season.

Wednesday, December 15, 2004 1:13 PM CST

Wednesday, December 8, 2004 1:06 PM CST

******* FUNNY PICTURES ********

One chemo left!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've decided - no more cancer. This isn't fun. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone and I'm not going to do it again....

So... if you smoke. STOP! What are you thinking?? It says "causes cancer" on the pack. I'm sure you don't want to go through chemo, be attached to an oxygen tank, and possibly even talk through a tube. HEALTH is a gift! Be thankful!!

In fact, don't eat anything that says "causes cancer... ie. Sweet 'n Low.

Don't microwave stuff in plastic containters or styrofoam.

WASH your fruits and vegetables!! Countries where the fruit and vegetables come from don't have the same regulations with pesticides that we do.

Am I lecturing - YES! I don't want any of you to go through this. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. Please stay healthy. I love you all!!

Treasure your health.

Thursday, November 25, 2004 10:25 AM CST

Happy Thanksgiving!!

I hope everyone is spending some quality time with family.

I have two more chemos left!! It's weird. It's actually kind of scary almost being finished. I get some sort of comfort knowing the chemo is in my body. It's like an extra insurance policy to keep the cancer away. I am ready though, 5 1/2 months of this does take a toll on your body.

I'm looking forward to the radiation. The doctor says women usually think it's a breeze compared to chemo. On January 3rd I go to get marked where they will be shooting the radiation. I will go every morning Mon-Fri for 6 1/2 weeks. I guess I'll be grounded for awhile - but it is my last leg of treatment so I guess it will be worth not getting to travel.

Karissa and I decided to take a cruise for Christmas week-end. I was going to go home to Illinois but decided the weather and the stress of the trip might be too much - so I'm going to celebrate the end of this year with my greatest supporter in a tropical setting. Karissa has been a godsend and I couldn't have made it through this without her.

By the way, Stephanie introduced me to a really good book. It's called "Why I wore lipstick to my mastectomy." It is really close to my experience and how I've felt through the whole thing. If any of you want some insight, read the book. She wore lipstick to her surgery because it was the only thing she could control. I drew smiley faces on my breasts because I wanted to somehow have the last word.

Thanks to all of you for your love and support. Please keep in touch.

Friday, November 5, 2004 3:27 PM CST

Hi everyone,

I'm down to 5 chemo's to go!! So... 5 weeks and counting. It's been a long journey and I'm excited to be near the end. It will be nice to have my energy back and be able to think clearly. You get a "chemo fog" which hurts processing and short term memory. I feel like I'm 80 or something.

I will start my radiation in January. It will be administered every day Mon-Fri for 6 1/2 weeks. Then I will need about 6 months healing time after that before my next two surgeries.... So hopefully, by this time next year all this will be a distant memory.

I want to thank everyone again for all your love and support. I couldn't make it on a daily basis if it weren't for your care and prayers.

I did another Breast Cancer walk last week-end. I raised about $300 from my friends at work. My friend Jane and her dog Jaz did the walk. It was in St Pete along the water. Very nice.

That's all for now. Choose to live your life happy and with people that treat you well.

Saturday, October 9, 2004 7:11 PM CDT

Today some friends and I participated in the Race for the Cure. Stephanie ran the 5K and Tom and I walked. It was so touching because everyone wore signs that were either in celebration of breast cancer survivors or sadly in memory of those that didn't survive the disease. It occured to me that I have a lot of people to walk in celebration of from my hometown... Nita, Rita, Jean, Lucille, Joy, Kayla and Lisa.

Everyone had names written on their signs and it really brings it home how many women (and men) are affected by this disease. These races raise money for breast cancer research. It's important to get involved for all the women in your lives. It's a great way to spend a Saturday morning. The website to find out about future races and breast cancer research in general is www.komen.org.

Tuesday, October 5, 2004 7:37 PM CDT

NEW PHOTOS - NEW PHOTOS - NEW PHOTOS

Hi everyone,

I haven't been very good about updating the website often but I'll try to get better.

I've had 2 new chemos already, and it is soooooo much better. I didn't realize I felt bad until I started feeling better. I figured it out when I was traveling to Chicago - I was talking on the phone, walking up a flight of stairs, with two bags... and didn't get out of breath. It's the little things you know.

I added a picture from chemo. I know a lot of you can't even imagine what it's like... so now you know.... not a big, scary deal. They even let me work ;-) They feed me fresh baked cookies and give me pretty much anything else I want.

My friend Stephanie ran in one of the breast cancer 5K's last week-end. I'll post a picture of her and another friend of mine, Tom next week. They are running in another race and had shirts made with my picture on them. I'm quite touched by it. It's kind of weird seeing my picture on a shirt though... I'll be thankful it's not a milk carton ;-)

Life is short and good. Live it to the fullest! Don't settle.

Thursday, September 23, 2004 6:31 PM CDT

Hi everyone,

I had my new chemo today. It's nice to get over that hurdle. So far, so good. I was extremely tired because they gave me a big dose of Benedryl with it. For you medical people out there - the drug I'm taking now is Taxol. I'll get it once a week on Thursday afternoons until early December.

I also had my first energy massage today. It did seem to make me feel better. It seemed like I could feel the current - could have been the Benedryl, but it was really cool.

Things are going well at work. I'm going to Chicago next week to participate in a big presentation regarding our new online school.

p.s. Good to hear from you Cecelia. Your family continues to be in my prayers.

Saturday, September 11, 2004 8:03 PM CDT

I got some really bad news today from one of my friends. Cecelia's father fell from a roof recently and passed away today. Please send some prayers her way. This will be really hard for her and her family.

As far as news regarding my progress, things are going great. I've been busy with some travel for both business and pleasure.

I've got a new job responsibility at work which will probably get me to Minnesota quite a bit. I was there last week.

My new chemo starts the week after next. I'm feeling really good this week-end. I always feel good a couple of weeks after treatment.

It's Tampa Bikefest this week-end. I did some riding today with friends. It was fun.

You wouldn't know Ivan is on it's way. The sun was shining bright and a lot of people are out and about. There are lines at some gas stations and the grocery stores are packed, but besides that, things are pretty quiet.

I'll keep you posted. Take some time to spread some love.

Tuesday, August 17, 2004 2:58 PM CDT

Good afternoon,

Surgery went well. I'm not lopsided anymore... woo-hoo!! I'm not supposed to lift anything (including my laptop) for 3 weeks. I'm going to try to be good this time. I miss Nita who came to Florida during my last surgery. I think you should come again during Biketoberfest!!

I have my last round of this chemo next week on the 25th. That means I'm half way finished with chemo!! Time flies when you're having fun ;-)

I scheduled my next chemo treatments for Thursdays. The hospital sponsors a British tea party every Thurs. It is served with fresh baked goodies and on fine china. They even make clotted cream for you Brits that know what that is. I thought it would be a good treat.

The hospital also gives some sort of 'energy massage'. It's similar to Reiki healing. I'm on a waitlist. Supposedly the technique can pull the heat away from your body caused from radiation. It sounds very relaxing.

Tampa got just a little rain from Charley. Orlando got hit pretty hard. There are still a lot of people without power. Keep the hurricane victims in your prayers.

Hope all is well with each of you. Let's get together soon!

p.s. Baldy pic still open for viewing...

Sunday, August 15, 2004 9:22 PM CDT

Good evening,

Surgery is scheduled for 7:30 am in the morning. I'm nervous but happy I won't be lopsided anymore ;-) It's amazing that I really don't get too worried about procedures like this now. I'll have at least two more before this is over.

Since I'm in a brave mood tonight... I decided to post a baldy picture. I opted for a bad ass biker chick pose...

Happy viewing. I'll send a picture from my next chemo for those of you that don't know what to picture with chemo.

Stay tuned for pictures from the Sturgis, SD bike rally. I had fun and saw a lot of beautiful country.

Thursday, August 5, 2004 7:31 PM CDT

I had chemo on Wednesday and a shot and follow-up with the oncologist today. All is going well.

I have surgery on August 16th at 6:30 pm to take out the faulty implant in and put in a new one. It's out-patient surgery and takes about an hour. It's also a quick recovery so I shouldn't really miss any work or fun.

That's all for news. I've got a couple of new pictures to add... possibly a baldy one... stay tuned. I can't find my cable to do the transfer but I'm hoping to locate it over the week-end.

Stay in touch.

Wednesday, July 28, 2004 10:28 AM CDT

I met with the plastic surgeon yesterday regarding the possible "deflation." He had a very scientific approach to determine if the implant is leaking. He had is nurse fill it up extra tight - and I will see him in a week to determine if the saline is staying or leaking. What am I... a spare tire? ;-) Couldn't he just add a can of fix a flat??

It is leaking so I will have to have surgery to replace it. It will be a quick out patient surgery - probably on a Thursday and back to work on Monday.

The good news is that the plastic surgeon disagreed with the radiologist on the need to remove the left implant to improve the results of the radiation. He said there is no solid proof that an implant can get in the way of success from radiation. If the cancer recurs, it would recur under the muscle which is on top of the implant. He said that different radiologists have different opinions. That matches the research I've done on the internet. That's great news because I was picturing being lopsided and not liking the prospect ;-)

Friday, July 23, 2004 4:40 PM CDT

Hi all,

I'm feeling fine. I am having an issue with one of my implants. I think it is leaking. I have an appointment at my plastic surgeon's on Tuesday. It could mean an extra surgery in the near future.

I'm not happy about it but I knew going into this there would be setbacks. It helps to know there is a date in the future when I feel confident I'll be healthy and can put this behind me.

I think next month I'll be meeting Jimmy, Trish, Kaylee, Mom and Dad for a week-end on a lake just North of Atlanta. It will be nice.

I haven't seen any family besides Kari and Troy since this ordeal started. I did see Doug and Cindy who I consider family in May. I miss you all!! Come see me. I have plenty of room and live near many major theme parks... hint, hint. I'm going to Busch Gardens tomorrow night...I hope I can keep my hair on when I ride the roller coasters ;-)

To all who are signing the guestbook and sending e-mails, I appreciate it. The entries are nice and funny. Keep them coming. They really help to keep my spirits up. I know a lot of you think my attitude is amazing, but I wouldn't be able to keep it without all your support. It is my friends and family that are getting me through this. I'm just tagging along for the ride!!

Miss you... Love you...

All females - PLEASE do a self breast check at least once a month, have your baseline mammogram at 35 and if you feel something weird, call your doctor immediately. Take your healthcare under your control. I did all that and had regular mammograms and ultra sounds and this still happened to me - I didn't push the issue when there was something weird I just trusted the radiologist's word. PUSH THE ISSUE!! None of you have to go through this!! Husband's... help your wives. It's fun to assist with breast care ;-)

Tuesday, July 20, 2004 11:48 AM CDT

Thanks Cindy for sharing this e-mail today. Since it RAINS a lot here in Florida it was particularly applicable. Enjoy and take time to have fun and make memories every day!

Too Busy !!!

A little girl had been shopping with her Mom in Wal-Mart. She must have been 6 years old, this beautiful red-haired, freckle-faced image of innocence. It was pouring outside--the kind of rain that gushes over the top of rain gutters, so much in a hurry to hit the earth it has no time to flow down the spout.. We all stood there under the awning and just inside the door of the Wal-Mart.

We waited, some patiently, others irritated because nature messed up their hurried day. I am always mesmerized by rainfall. I got lost in the sound and sight of the heavens washing away the dirt and dust of the world. Memories of running, splashing so carefree as a child came pouring in as a welcome reprieve from the worries of my day.

The little voice was so sweet as it broke the hypnotic trance we were all caught in "Mom, let's run through the rain," she said.

"What?" Mom asked.

"Let's run through the rain!" She repeated.

"No, honey. We'll wait until it s lows down a bit," Mom replied.

This young child waited about another minute and repeated: "Mom, let's run through the rain."

"We'll get soaked if we do," Mom said.

"No, we won't, Mom. That's not what you said this morning," the young girl said as she tugged at her Mom's arm.

"This morning? When did I say we could run through the rain and not get wet?"

"Don't you remember? When you were talking to Daddy about his cancer, you said, 'If God can get us through this, he can get us through anything!'"

The entire crowd stopped dead silent. I swear you couldn't hear anything but the rain. We all stood silently. No one came or left in the next few minutes.

Mom paused and thought for a moment about what she would say. Now some would laugh it off and scold her for being silly. Some might even ignore what was said. But this was a moment of affirmation in a young child's life. A time
when innocent trust can be nurtured so that it will bloom into faith.

"Honey, you are absolutely right. Let's run through the rain. If GOD let's us get wet, well maybe we just needed washing," Mom said.

Then off they ran. We all stood watching, smiling and laughing as they darted past the cars and yes, through the puddles. They held their shopping bags over their he ads just in case. They got soaked. But they were followed
by a few who screamed and laughed like children all the way to their cars.

And yes, I did. I ran. I got wet. I needed washing.

Circumstances or people can take away your material possessions, they can take away your money, and they can take away your health. But no one can ever take away your precious memories...so, don't forget to make time and
take the opportunities to make memories everyday. To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven.

A friend sent this to me to remind me of life. Hope you enjoy it.

I HOPE YOU STILL TAKE THE TIME TO RUN THROUGH THE RAIN.

Thursday, July 15, 2004 1:21 PM CDT

I had the best day today. I had chemo yesterday and feel great! I went to the doctor today and was worried about two lumps I have and she told me they are part of the implant. Yea.. I don't take anything for granted these days.

While I was there she said she has another patient that was really worried about chemo and she's about my age. She had me talk to her. It was amazing how much we have in common. She has to have 6 mos of chemo and she's separated from her husband right now. It was great to be able to talk to someone in a like situation. I was sitting where she was today just a few weeks ago awaiting my treatment plan - thinking worst case scenario would be 3 mos of chemo. When I found out it was going to be 6 mos and 6 1/2 weeks of radiation, it was devastating. So much time... She felt the exact same way today. I hope I helped alleviate some of her fear. It's really not so bad.

Plus... her friend said I look like I'm 32. Hey...I'll take compliments where I can get them.

I feel much better when I'm helping. I think it's something I need to help me through this journey.

I found this great quote in Guideposts magazine that has been very helpful for me. Hope it has meaning to you... "Mile by mile, life's a trial. Yard by yard, life is hard. Inch by inch, life's a cinch.." Harriet Zernickow

Monday, July 12, 2004 5:28 PM CDT

Just an fyi - look in the photo album to see photos progressing. I wanted to start with the before and end up back there again.

The first photo in the album is of me and Karissa on my 40th birthday. This was with the short haircut to get used to the "really short" hair cut.

I think it only allows for three photos, so they will be changing regularly. Of course, my hair changes daily now.

So far I have a long blonde, long brunette, a couple of short highlighted and a funky dark wig with bright red highlights.

Since all of my family is in Illinois - I hope this makes you feel closer! We need to get together real soon.

Sunday, July 11, 2004 11:34 AM CDT

I feel fortunate to have found a place where I can keep my family and friends updated on my progress. It's hard to stay in touch with everyone. I've been blessed with a big support group and I want everyone to not have to wonder or speculate how I'm doing.

So... how am I doing. Well today I look like GI Jane. My hair started falling out in handfulls yesterday - so I had Karissa shave my head. I was really dreading the day it would happen because I think this event is when I have to admit I'm sick. Until now, if someone didn't know - they wouldn't know. I put it off all day yesterday - but when we actually did it, it was a bit liberating. Just think... I don't have to pack a blow dryer and curling iron when I travel.

I'm not sure if I'm brave enough to post a baldy picture, but I will post some of my wig pictures. I think it will be a lot of fun.

My next chemo is Wednesday. Then I have two more before September. In late September I will start the once a week chemo. In January, I'll have 6 1/2 weeks of radiation.

I'm hoping I can put all this behind me by Bikeweek '05.

Stay tuned...

Thursday, July 8, 2004 1:44 PM CDT

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