History

Friday, March 16, 2007 12:17 AM CDT

Hello to those who are still of this world,

We all have good times and not so good times. When we are faced with someone close to us being sick or worse yet,died. We often realize how important every minute of every day is.

I just lost the second woman in my life, My Mother Sue "SUMO" Kerner. She was diagnosed with colon cancer that spread to other vital organs, the Doctors gave her a few months and with a little TLC we were able to keep her arround for 10 months.

We (my sister and I) gave mom a 75th birthday party, we had family and friends from way back and far away join in this 3/4 century celebration and loved every minute of it.

The next week she was diagnosed and things changed forever, I started reliving my loss of Mendy. I felt the overwhelming sadness that paralized me for what seemed like forever, I know God has a plan for all of us, and we have to embrace each other, love each other, and value the time we have together in this world. Live for today, Free yourself of the burden of things we have no control over, and take control of the things we do. Make the most of each day and love those as if they will be gone tomorrow.

Remember to follow the Turtle,

Love to all,

Fester

Tuesday, August 8, 2006 9:48 AM CDT

Hello to all survivors,

Well it has been two years and two day's since Mendy left our world, and enterd the Kingdom of God. We survivors are left with a reality that at times is very difficult to live with. The absence of the one we have lost.

The void felt by myself and others, is at times greater and more vast than one can even imagine, and other times we fill our lives and minds with so much, that we feel ok and that life goes on.

This ballancing act for me is difficult at best, and I know I am not the only Turtle in the group to feel this way. Our shell's are meant to protect us, but instead they trap us in self pitty, a cave of darkness and despare, our heads tucked inside and our hand on our ears saying LA-LA-LA-LA I can't deal with this realty.

So what do survivors do? THEY SURVIVE! They take each waking moment and make a choice, is it a good day or a bad day? is the sun shinning, or is it cloudy? We are all in this together, and we must look deep inside our shell's, poke our heads out, take a deep breath and survive another day.

I miss Mendy more today than ever, She would want that!

Remember to Follow the Turtle,

Love to all Fester

Wednesday, February 8, 2006 2:51 PM CST

Hello to all who are in the fast lane,
and the ones like me who moooove reeeeel slooooow,

All is well with the Kerner clan, Kelsey is working hard to get into a private school, Hayden has really taken school to heart and is finally enjoying it. (I never did)
Thank goodness for Mendy's grey matter contributions.

When Mendy was first diagnosed I left my job/career in new construction and became "Ken the tool man" this last year I sold off my trucks and went into managment (remember Mendy has the brains) any who this turned out to be a left when it should have been a right.

What now you ask? alright

I am back in the builder biz and hooked up with an old friend. They say everthing "is what it is" and that all will work out in the end.

When I decided to leave the tool company, I figured it was time for a little break in employment, once again I figured wrong and hooked up with my old buddy and will be working both until the end of the month.

Hope to bring you more good news next time, oops I almost forgot Katherene and I are now proud Grandparents of not one but three grand babies, Trystan 1.5, Arriana .2, and Loek (Luke) .1.

Take care you slow movers.

Fester out.

Monday, October 3, 2005 9:21 AM CDT

Hello to those who follow the tultle,

I may be slow, but I get the job done.(eventualy)

Mendy has once again blessed her family with heavenly intervention.

A week before Mendy past from this life, to the next she invited her long time friend, fellow teacher, and great supporter of the Kerner clan, down for a final visit and a chance to share with her the desire that she remain a part of the childrens and my life.

Little did we know that Katherene would become so involved with our family. Integrating her family and us intgrating them into our family.

Katherene and I have fallen in love, and will marry October 15th 2005 in Lake Tahoe...SHHHH. this is the first anyone has been told, we will announce this after we get back.

Our Honeymoon will be camping on the coast withe kids and Mendy's brother Randy and his wonderful wife Rhonda for the weekend. Simple yes, but that is what works so well with our family. The complexity of life requires the speed of a hare! We have to be simple and slow for we follow the turtle! DO YOU?

Love to all,

Fester

Friday, June 17, 2005 10:00 AM CDT

Hello to all,

The kids and I are doing well,

Last day of school, fun filled summer plans, Kelsey made Honor roll all year, Hayden did not, but did make everyone smile and laugh!

We built a memorial at the school where Mendy tought, It turned out great with trees,plants and a 500 lb bronze turtle with two children riding on its back, a dedication plack and a bench the parent club made with Mendy's name
and some nice inspiring words.

The school also came up with an award, "THE MENDY KERNER INSPIRATION AWARD" This will be given to one student at graduation each year, and their name put on the plack.

The staff, parent club, and principle have chosen Kelsey as the "MOST INSPIRATIONAL STUDENT" (Mendy would be so proud).

I'll try to do this more than twice a year,

Love to all,
Fester

Tuesday, January 18, 2005 9:50 AM CST

To all who have loved and lost,

The reason for this update is to share my life over the holidays. Freinds and family told me it would be hard, but I was strong and had closure my children and I were moving on with our lives! Or so we thought.

As the holidays approached, so did the demand of filling a pair of shoes that can never be filled, try as I might the reality of Mendy being gone set in. The pain and heart felt sorrow deepend.

I woke up the Monday before Thanksgiving and had a strange feeling, the kids asked if we would have x-mas this year and would it be a good one, one with lights a tree, presents, happiness etc. That was it, I at that point looked up and asked Mendy to help me make this a great holiday.

Instead of sending the kids off on the bus, I drove them (they like that) and I played hooky from work and got all the x-mas stuff out and up. After school I picked up the kids and took them home to a decorated house with tree,lights,nutcrakers, and all the goodies the kids love to play with.

This one day 180 dregree turn of attitude and spirit took a sad period and beacame joyous!

This just goes to show you, that grief comes and goes the light of life can get brighter if you look to the one you lost and ask for a little help. No one can do it for you or tell you how to deal with it, the situation is yours and yours alone, or not if you look to the spirit of the one you lost.

Mendy was there for me when I needed her most and I now know she will always be there for me and everyone, just ask!

Love to all and have a great 2005,

Fester

Friday, November 12, 2004 9:23 AM CST

Hello to all,

What do say when the star of the show, has left the show?

First you clear the giant lump in your throat, take a deep breath and let it all hang out (kinda like being on stage with no script).

The kids and I are doing as well as can be without Mendy. I had no idea how much she did and how little I did, and she seem to do it without complaining or intruding on my schedule. The more time passes the more I miss her smile,
sense of humor, ability to do laundry and not have pink whites (one red sock put me in touch with my feminine side)and Hayden can now where my sweaters.

Mendy always had funny spin on daily do's and dont's and that keeps me going.

I can't tell you how much I value friends and family these day's, what a blessing to be supported by so many, and the ones that just you would never expect (like my friend Charley from Minnasota) is flying out to spend a few days with the kids and I.

Remember to follow the turtle!

Love to all
Fester

Sunday, August 22, 2004 11:20 AM CDT

"A day to remember"

Today we celebrate our lives with Mendy. Today is her memorial or as she would call it "A day to remember" the one you love and recall all the great times you had with her.

Mendy new what she wanted, and her mom BJ and sister Tammy
ran with it and will make this not a sad day, but "A day to remember" with love, joy, laughter,and some tears.

I know you would all like to be here in person, but I feel all of you in spirit, right along with Mendy. She loves each and everyone of you and will always be there, just close your eyes and think of her beautiful smile or sharp wit and relax she will do the rest.

Today we toast "TO MENDY" wife, mother, daughter, aunt, friend, teacher, and a blessing to us all!

Remember to "Follow the Turtle"

Love and Peace to All From Fester and Marlon

Monday, August 16, 2004 1:42 PM CDT

Hello to all,

At this time you all know of Mendy's (Marlon) passing.

I would like to thank all of you for the support, love, and
prayers that have been pouring in from around the world.

Our family is strong and determined to embrace Mendy's spirit and learn to live in this world with out her. We are all blessed to have Mendy in our memories and allways in our hearts.

I will try to keep you all updated as Kelsey, Hayden, and I move forward.

Love to all

Fester

Wednesday, August 11, 2004 1:10 AM CDT

Hello all you LOVING people out there!

Fester here,
calling on all you angles out in the world of cyber love.

I am overwelmed at the huge care being sent our way, from the CML group to the students, teachers, parents, friends, family, and the list goes on and on. What tribute to such a great person as Mendy has been and will always be to everyone she touched in person or on her valued internet family you all have come to know via Caringbridge.org we must not forget this battle is fought with sacrafices for a greater good, and Mendy died as a hero to all those fighting to survive not just this cancer, but all illness great or small.

Mendy would want all to celebrate her life, and live as if it were your last day! She said this many times to me and it wasan't until she was gone that I finaly got it!

I hope you all live,love,and enjoy each other, this is what Mendy saw in all she came to know.

Till the next time,

Fester out.

Saturday, August 7, 2004 11:20 AM CDT

Melinda "Mendy" Kerner

Born February 9th, 1961

Died August 6th 2004

Mendy aka Marlon fought an incredible battle, Her husband of almost sixteen years Ken aka Fester never left her side.

In her final weeks Ken was teamed up with Mendy's Mother Bj
who loved and supported her spent many nights in her hospital room and held her hand to the very end while telling her in a mothers soft spoken voice, "Its ok you can go be with God now" and Mendy peacfully left our world and joined God in his kingdom, Where she will have peace and will be free of the suffering.

I would like to thank all of you for your love, prayers, and support. It brought me up when I was down and gave me the strength to keep Mendy going.

Remember to follow the turtle!

Love Fester

Thursday, August 5, 2004 11:57 PM CDT

Well hello agian all my friends,

I wish I had more news, but our Mendy is still holding strong on life support, until they get a handle on the imflamation, fluid, issue of the current set of events.

I had my first major breakdown last night, thank god I had Mendy's mother "BJ" to hold me and for a 110lb. woman she has the shoulders of a NFL line backer thank god. I was truly a mess.

But im back and strong as ever with all you support and prayers,s you give us all strength. Thank you!

Mendy is as bad as it gets and the doc's and I are taking
each hour as it comes, so your job is to pray for the strenght and courage to allow to happen what is beyond our control, God's will is what we pray for and he will not let her suffer if he bring's her into his Kingdom. And will continue to give us the strength to cary on in her recovery.

God bless all of you.
love Fester.

Wednesday, August 4, 2004 8:10 PM CDT

Ok here we are again with the ups and downs of a transplant.
Mendy is now in ICU with a major double pneumonia, and is on a ventilator until she can breath on her own.

I know this sounds like bad news, but Mendy wants all of you to know that she has no regrets and can only worry about the things she has control over!

She also realy has a new view of life after the last close call and what closer it brought to family and friends. We can all learn this lesson of life "living the moment" and understanding it is what it is.

Remember to follow the turtle, you will see things you never saw before when you slow down and enjoy the ride.

These pearls of wisdom are brought to you by Mendy and Ken in the hopes you all have peace in your lives, love in your hearts, and are thankfull for each moment of each day.

Give someone a hug, a kiss, shake of the hand and tell them you love them as if it were the last time you would ever see them. They will be uplifted and you will have no regrets!!!

Love to all Fester

Wednesday, July 28, 2004 1:36 AM CDT

Fester, here, and with a news-filled update!

First, let me tell you the power of prayer works. I am looking right now at a miracle as I type.

Mendy has had a serious setback, but is on the mend; I will give you the readers digest version.

Since June, she has had CMV (a viral infection), GVHD of the gut (like she had in January), LIVER and KIDNEY problems, DIABEBETS, SEIZURE, a STROKE, DOUBLE PNEUMONIA, and all related side affects.

Mendy still has a long road to recovery, and is not out of the woods quite yet, so keep those prayers coming; we need all the help we can get!

I will try post coming more than once every four months.

Love to all,

Fester and Marlon

Thursday, April 8, 2004 9:52 PM CDT

Just when you thought I forgot about you, Here I am again.
Mendy is doing great, went to Stanford Monday and found they were very happy with her progress.

Then she asked the big one! When can I teach again? (she is jonesin real bad) With a brief pause they spoke-How about next Fall! After they picked Mendy up of the floor, she said oh my god, could it be true, I am accually getting better, I can teach again, see my students.

To say this was a spirit lifter, would not be true. This put Mendy in the frame of mind that all people fighting for recovery of any type, dream of. This gives her a goal, motivation to move forward. We all can learn to value the blessings large and small that keep us looking forward to a new day.

Thank you all for keeping in touch.

Love Fester and Marlon

Friday, March 19, 2004 10:21 AM CST

Let me tell you a little story bout a girl named Mendy;
Had a bone marrow transplant that realy kicked her hiney;
Then one day she trying to eat some food and up from her gut came a bubalin crude, saltine crackers peptamin;
Well the first thing you know old men's a gitn better;
Kin folk say to Stanford when do we get to have her;
They said Fairfield is the place you ought to be;
So her Fester loaded up the truck and moved home to Hayden and Kelsey, Family that is swimin pools super stars!

You all are super stars in hearts and souls, we could not be home without you. Mendy is getting stronger and stronger every day, She is eating three squares a day plus snacks.

All signs are positive and we are just enjoying each day as it comes. Mendy still has the shakes so here I am again.

Love and big thanks to all you super stars out there!

Fester and Mendy side by side.

Sunday, March 7, 2004 8:59 PM CST

Howdy,Howdy,
well you all are wondering how Mendy is doing, no update , no news. What is up with that? Well I'll tell you.

Mendy's lightning fast hands burned up her lap top! So here we are again in Planet Fairfield, just me and you. Mendy is on the fast track to getting out of the west bay area and heading east. That's right she is Bag Free, Free as you and me, Free from the IV's totaly Bag Free!!

The word at the ward is she will be 86ed By the end of the month. Her last biopsy came back with 100% donor cells and that is a good thing ( Martha just lost the right's to that one). That means no Lukemia anywhere!!!!!!

The food is sticking around and the fluids as well, all the meds are now via pill plus the thing I can't pronounce nor spell , so we call it the Medicine ball.

I am at our friends Jim and Meg's had a fabulous meal and am using thier computer and can not thank them and all of you enough for all the support and love.

The next update may be from home with Mendy at my side!
Wow what a ride

Love to all,
Fester.

Saturday, February 21, 2004 5:02 PM CST

Hello to all,
Fester is doing my typing for me, so don't judge me for the thing's I can not control! (WOW THAT'S SOMTHING TO THINK ABOUT).

Fester has been taking very good care of me as have all my care givers Rhonda who is taking over for Fester and bringing my kid's down for a quick visit HOORAY. Sandy, Meg, And Denise who comes all the way from Columbia. A big thankyou to all of you who have kept me going these last few weeks! Because of you I am doing great, Off all the gagme stuff eating real food (small amounts) and may be off the bag soon.

I would also like send out a very special thanks to Nancy c., Jeannie, Norma, Christine and the rest of the CML group, and the dozens of others sending cards, gifts, e-mails and just plain old good vibes.

Today is a very special day, Yes I made it to day 100! Words cannot express what the last 100 day's have been like. Some good, some not so good, and some I don't remember (I hear that is a good thing) But all filled with love and huge support from all of you!

Thank you, I love you all.

Mendy

Friday, February 6, 2004 1:04 PM CST

Ok What's worse, No post or a post from Fester?
Don't answer that it's me again.
Mendy is doing much better as of today, her new favorite Doc say's if it feels good do it!

Let me splain something, since leaving the cell block E1, Mendy has been on TPN (BAG-O-FOOD IV) and Peptimin, a sour milk gag me kind a cocktail that made her feel yuckorama.
She has been trying little things (1/4 pc.toast) to help.

Today the doc ok'd solid food and no Peptiyuk, Ya Hoo! This is not only a great sign of improvement but also a huge spirit lifter.

Mendy gave me the high sign to update all of you, as she is still fighting the shakes and until now has not had any good, warm and fuzzy news, She will be back!

Thank you all for your love and support.

Fester

Monday, January 19, 2004 1:47 PM CST

SPRUNG!

They're cutting me loose back to the apartment today! I'm still having some tummy problems, but we'll work on them as an outpatient. During the first couple of weeks, I'll spend pretty much the whole day in the day hospital, but the visits will shorten over time.

Anyway, still a long way to go, but today's a welcome step!

Next step: Get rid of the bag o' food attached to me and get back on "real" food.

Wednesday, January 14, 2004 1:09 PM CST

Hi all,

Nothing new around here -- still waiting for the tummy to settle so I can move out. Mainly I wanted To say thank you, thank you, thank you for all the cards and other surprises -- buzzing and barking -- you've been sending. I'll never be able to thank you individually, much as I might want to. Please know how much you're appreciated!

Thursday, January 8, 2004 6:49 AM CST

Thanks, everyone, for hanging in with your well-wishes and prayers after all this time. Between my hand shakes, bad eyes, foggy brain and sore tummy, I'm lucky to open an eye and say "g-day, mite!" (now, who'd want to, I imagine?). You all, on the other hand, have been so loyal and true. Love everyone of you.

It looks like I'm still in for another couple of weeks as an inpatient, although still a feisty, reticient one. I'd much rather be at school with all you guys, at home with my kids, or about anywhere than here. But here I must stay until I'm well.

I have a fun nurse's story to try to tell you before my hands give out (and they bring today's blood transfusion.) One of the side effects of some of the meds they give us is delusions -- I'm never quite sure whether something is really happenening or I'm imagining it. Same for ALL patients going through this, so of course, nurses have their favorite stories about a patient's biggest delusion. One person, let's call him Chuck, was known for being a name-dropper, always talking about this or that celebrity he knew personally. The most common name he dropped was Bill Clinton (this took place a few years back.) One night, the nurse walks in Chuck's room and he's on the phone complaining about all things hospital -- food, meds, etc.

"Who are you talking to, Chuck,?"
"Bill Clinton, of course!" the patient replies.
"Well, it's time to get off the phone!" the nurse responds.
At first, Chuck refuses, but the nurse insists, takes the phone away, and hangs it up herself.
A few moments later, the phone at the nurses station rings. Our nurse picks it up and hears: "This is Agent 78 on Air Force One; I'm calling to re-establish a lost connection between the President and a Mr. Charles _______.

It was the last call she ever decded to screen.

Enjoy your day.

Mendy

Sunday, January 4, 2004 12:53 AM CST

Hello all you great people,
Hope you all had a safe and fun filled New Year. The score is now 12 to 6, yes 6 unanswerd points! Mendy gave gvhd her ROYAL STINK EYE and they went a runnin.

The progress is slow but steady and progress is progress, With each passing day it makes the next a little bit better, one step at a time.

The strength and will power that Mendy has is amazing, if we could bottle it and give it to the rest of the world it would be, well you know!

I am leaving for planet Fairfield today, and be back Friday, The kids will be down with Mendy's Folks Saturday.
It will be nice to all be together for the first time since, well before x-mas.

Love and Great 2004 wishes to all,

Fester.

Wednesday, December 31, 2003 2:06 PM CST

Happy New Year all you great people out side the walls of Stanford.

Mendy and I are holding steady, with the confirmation that it is Graft vs Host (the donor imunne system vs Mendy's body).

The score was six to nothing the gvh was ahead, Mendy said enough is enough and climbed right out bed. She said go Prograf go steroids go all you super meds, I am not the enemy get the gvh instead. With remarkable will and her future in sight, she said to gvh you will loose this fight!

The doctors say this could be a long battle (another 2+ weeks here) and to deal with it a little at a time. The best sign is that it is not progressing, wich is encouraging news!

We wish all of you a safe and love filled new year!

Till the next time,

Fester signing off.

Wednesday, December 24, 2003 9:21 PM CST

Twas the night before x-mas,
and all through e-1 not a creature was stiring, well maybe just one. The IV'S were hanging with life giving joy, for Marlon and Fester and their girl and boy. We hope and we pray for great things to come with love and with hugs we wish you a great one.

Mendy is back in the hospital fighting a bit of G-v-H or CMV a stomach problem that is normal, but hard to deal with, the timming is what it is so we do what we can, Mendy,s spirit is strong and will continue on.

We wish you all a very merry X-MAS and a Happy new year, and we will hold off our X-MAS until we can all be together. A special thanks to Tammy (You Rock) Sandy(the bomb)My mom and dad and a list of support people that is second to none.

Love Fester Mendy's Santa

Tuesday, December 23, 2003 11:33 PM CST

Twas the day before x-mas eve,
And all was mixed up, our tummy and heads were truly in a fuss. The IV was filled with fluids galore to make things better for me evermore. The transplant has up's and sometimes has down's, but we must focus on smiles and not on frowns.

Mendy is back in the Hospital with some normal things they say will happen. She feels good about the care and treatment that comes with this and will follow the Doctors direction.

The time of these complications makes it that much harder, but Mendy is strong and knows that it is what it is! and will do what she needs to do to keep on going.

Your thoughts and prayers are very needed and welcome, for all of our family. Thank you.

Happy Holiday's to all,

Love Fester. aka her Santa

Sunday, December 21, 2003 2:37 PM CST

Happy holidays y-all,
Me and the miss,s just had our first sit down feedin,s with the little'ns. What a blessed time it was, wish you all were with us and NOT! sorry a selfish moment. We had Turkey and stuffing (Kelsey's kinda secret recipe) gravy and the most important ingredient, Each other!

I hope all of you will value the moment, the time with each other enjoying the simple pleasures life gives us every
day.

We are having a first today, no visit to Stanford. All med,s are in pill or can be taken by IV at home. We are praying for more of these day,s off over the holiday, so keep those positive vibes a-cumin.

Mendy is having up's and down's with getting enough fluids and food, wich helps flush and absorb residual toxins from all the drugs/chemo etc. This is normal and is followed very carefully. This is a ballancing act that blow,s are mind, Check this out. Mendy started as an A- blood type, then became the donors type O+, is now showing O-, so they give her an A+ tranfusion, will see what Monday will bring.

The children and I will be back for X-mas, till then Sister Tamara, Grandmere, Tammy will be on caregiver duty at Casa de Mendy.

Love and Great moments to all of you!!!!

Fester.

Wednesday, December 17, 2003 0:26 AM CST

Yes It's me again,Fester.
Marlon, or should I say Mendy now that she looks like her old self (less hair) swelling is gone and feeling is great.
she still has a very full schedule of visits and all the energy is going to meeting the needs of her body and doctor's requirements.
Mendy just spent the last four day's with Kelsey (our daughter)and had A GREAT time, very uplifting time.(It's great being out but she realy need's her family.)and we will be all with her this weekend!!!

Yes we are hoping that she will have this weekend free of Stanford visits and the kids and I will spend some quality time together for the first time in 6-7 weeks YAHOO!!!!.

I am sory Mendy has not been able to post herself, but the demand of daily visits and focus on recovery is all consuming.

Please know she is doing very very well and her love for all of you is deep in her heart, with thanks and strength as a result of all of your caring note's.
You all rock, You are the bomb, and we dig the grovey vibes you keep sending!!!.

Our seven year old son Hayden is reading realy well and picked out a get well card for his mom. (read every one till he found just the perfect one, that said the way he felt, all by himself.(his teacher, our good friend was with him and said he knew the perfect one.)How cool is that!!!!!

Love to all,
Fester aka The Husband

Wednesday, December 10, 2003 10:48 PM CST

Well howdy People,
Marlon has left the building!!!!! Thats right Mendy has a count as of yesterday, are you ready for this?
5.8 yes the same as you and I. Normal is 5 to 12.

And here is the rest of the story page 2 Mendy was released to go to the apartment tonight. She was aided by Sandy, and is feeling great. Meds are under control food is not the enemy and freedom is a good appetizer.

She will be updating you soon with all the good 411, so stand by.

Have a great Holiday Season, we will be!
Love to all,
Fester

Monday, December 8, 2003 8:55 PM CST

Hello Fester Here,
It is with great pleasure that I bring you great counts
last Saturday they were at 1.6 and Marlon got a get out of room pass. However she wants a get out of Stanford pass real bad!!!

Now comes the hard part. She's realy having a hard time eating and needs to get 3 liters of stuff, 1 via IV and 2 via oral, Marlon has alot of residual effects from chemo/radiation that makes everything taste like *%%$%^ and would love to not enjoy that taste twice.(if you know what I mean.)

She is working with her doctors to come up with both replacing some things she is still on and things that will help with the upset tummy.

Now pray for taste buds and no nausea, and I know she will love you for it!!

Till the next time Love to all
Fester

Thursday, December 4, 2003 5:23 AM CST

Tonight I learned that my white blood counts reached a perfect "ONE." Finally, the level that the doctors say signifies healing for me. Not the end of the race by far, but a powerful milestone nonetheless.

Yes, all my loving, trusted friends, the clock says that I am up too late once again. But this time I'm up meditating on how strong "one" can be. "One" of you, sending your love and hope for me and my family. "One" of you being extra kind to another this week because you've seen more hope in your own life. "One" star that led to "one" man reaching a new vision of love and truth for "one" world.

One more chance for me.

One more chance for you.

Good night to each and every "one" of you.

Wednesday, December 3, 2003 2:33 AM CST

Tonight I don't have white blood counts to give you (it's a bit early on Stanford time yet), so first I will (1.) define them to the second-shortest student in the 8th grade class, then (2.) describe why I get all getty when they do go up. Finally (3.) I'll describe to you -- or at least try -- the most incredible event that's happened to me in the last four weeks.

First, white cells are teeny little bad dudes (that's teen Slanglish for "good guys)", that speed through your bloodstream, knocking off the old, yucky disease or cancer cells that your body doesn't need. (For the most part, these white blood cells are quite necessary for your body's health, unless they get all big and bad with themselves and your body starts sprouting way too many, which is when some doc comes along and tells you "Look, Lady, you have way too many of these white cells; we're going to fry you with some radiation (a kind of energy "poison"; and chemotherapy (a type of chemical "Poison." We need to use this stuff to get rid of a whole bunch of 'um).

Tell me whether the above paragraph -- or else someone way smarter than me -- answers this for me, and I'll try again. But for now, I want to describe to all of you an even that has left me profoundly blessed.

One of the few sad things that I left behind when I took off for the transplant was Kelsey's birthday on November 29. We had a long talk about that she wouldn't have a party -- for the first time in her life -- and she agreed to be as mature about it as a 12-year-old could be. She agreed to as much as she could to accept it.

A group of wonderful friends reached into their hearts, however, and showed their generosity in a way that most adults find hard to display. They put together their own birthday party for Kelsey, and it was a party that neither Kelsey nor I will ever forget. I can't remember everyone who participated (but Kelsey does, and I know you do, too. If you were one of the cherished friends involved, accept a huge hug from Kelsey and I both. If you and/or your child were was involved, remind him/her what a huge demonstration of friendship that was. And thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Finally, I'm attempting to attach a photo of my current state of baldness. Hopefully, you were wise enough to skip all the foregoing and find some true humor there!

Monday, December 1, 2003 8:14 AM CST

My white cell counts are falling into the range
where I can start think about leaving this place -- I'm about <.800 now as oppossed to <.1 earlier in the week. This *SHOULD* mean that the marrow has engrafted, or made its home in my body. Of course we're continually careful about infection and injury, so I'm no longer pre-selling tickets to the annual Gladiator sale between my husband, dressed in full medaevialln garb and dipped in leftover salsa from "UH OH, TACO," and my two children, who are dressed and carrying the same, but have added flame-throwers. Need to practice some common sense around here.

In addition, Ken hasn't mentioned a few more side affects I've aqcuired that turn this writing chore into an hours-long process rather than the minutes-long process it was. Hopefully that will subside.

Gotta Go. The nurse just came by to tell me I'd go nowhere if I didn't my chores here done. (and I do EVERYTHING the nurse asks!!! Maybe it is a little more like home than I give credit.!)

Love you all!

Great News Today!!!

thanksgiving everyone,
Mendy and I are celebrating here at the very famous Stanford University. Sorry there was limited seats available but we hope you will make the best of your situation. We will be having turkey in a bag, with stuffing and all the trimmings, for desert we have pumpkin pie and cool whip topping in a bag, you poor people have to suffer with food stuck in your teeth, bloting, upset tummy etc.

Mendy is realy doing well, yesterday she worked with the PT and did 10-15 minutes on a stationary bike, we played King's in the corner, a card game we both enjoy. She still has times of instant sleepyhead (30 min up 30 min down) may not sound like much but it is a huge improvement.

Some of you may noticed all the updates in CAPS, well thanks to my loving and somewhat criticle brother in law Brian, I found the magic key, now where is the spelling and punctuation key Brian?

By the way I got busted by one of the real bald ones, at first I thought I nodded or winked wrong, but then a doctor explained to me that my beard is a dead givaway! So now do I shave my face clean and continue to pull the scarfes over there heads or just accept the fact that I am just different and that they must accept the way I am, facial hair and all and if they want to judge me for the way I look, well thats there problem and I like the way I am so
there!
Thank you all, have a great turkey day
love Ken

Monday, November 24, 2003 6:46 PM CST

HI IT'S ME AGAIN
I DON'T HAVE MUCH NEW TO ADD ACCEPT EVERY TIME THEY GIVE HER A TRANSFUSSION OF PLATELETS SHE DEVELOPES RIGERS (SEVERE CHILLS/SHAKES) THAT MAKES US BOTH VERY UNCOMFORTABLE, MENDY MORE THAN ME OF COURSE. IT PASSES LIKE ALL THE REACTIONS, IT'S ONLY A FEW MINUTES, BUT IT SEEMS LIKE ALOT LONGER. THEN SHE FALLS ASLEEP AND I DON'T.

ON A LIGHTER NOTE, THERE ARE ALOT OF CHEMO PATIENTS HERE BALD ONES LIKE MENDY, AND I THINK THEY THINK I AM ONE OF THEM, IT'S A LOOK THEY GIVE EACH OTHER, LIKE A SECRET HANDSHAKE. I AM ACTUALY LEARNING THE LOOK, A NOD OF THE HEAD, A WINK OF THE EYE, IN A FLEETING MOMENT YOU TELL THE OTHER PERSON HOW ARE YOU AND EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AS STRANGE AS IT MAY SOUND I FEEL A POSITIVE INTERACTION AND A BIT OF GUILT THAT I AM NOT ACTUALY A MEMBER OF THE CLUB. ANYWAY I HAVE ALOT OF DOWN TIME TO THINK ABOUT ALL THESE BIZAR THINGS.

I PROMIS MENDY/MARLON WILL BE BACK TO DO HER OWN UPDATES. THANK YOU FOR YOU SUPPORT AND GOOD WISHES IT REALY DOSE HELP.

TILL THE NEXT TIME,
KEN

Monday, November 24, 2003 6:46 PM CST

Sunday, November 23, 2003 12:41 AM CST

HELLO ME AGAIN,
MENDY IS FELLING MUCH BETTER, HOWEVER THIS COMES FROM ALOT OF BENEDRIL, FENEGRIN, MOREPHINE, (EXCUSE THE SPELLING AND PUNCTUATION, I AM TOOLMAN NOT TEACHER DUDE).

SPEAKING OF TEACHER DUDE SHE IS REALY DOING WELL, IT ALL COMES IN LITTLE SIGNS AND STEPS, PAIN CONTROL IS A BIGGY AND NOW THEY ARE GOING TO SWITCH TO A MORE SPECIFIC TYPE FOR THE AREAS SHE NEEDS IT MOST. THIS WILL ALSO HELP WITH THE MAJOR SIDE AFFECTS, NO ENERGY, HOLUCINATIONS (PERHAPS ANOTHER MISSPELLED WORD/WORD'S)SOME ARE VERY FUNNY, AND SOME ARE SOMWHAT SCARY, ANYWAY ALL IN ALL SHE IS DOING GREAT.

ON ANTHER NOTE MENDY AKA MARLON SAVALES HAS A NEW NICK NAME FOR ME. FESTER, UNCLE FESTER, LIKE AS IN "HEY GOMEZ". YES IN A BREIF MOMENT I THOUGHT I'LL SHAVE MY HEAD AND MAYBE SHE WILL FELL BETTER. SHE LAUGHED TILL IT HURT, AND THEN LAUGHED AGIAN. I MUST HAVE A PRETTY FUNNY LOOKING HEAD.
I AM STARTING TO DEVELOP A COMPLEX EVERYWHERE I GO PEOPLE LOOK AT ME AND BREAK OUT IN LAUGHTER. I AM GLAD I BRING SUCH JOY TO ALL (NOT).

MENDY WILL BE BACK ON THE SITE SOON, TILL THEN TOOLMAN OUT.

P.S. SPECIAL THANKS TO KATHERINE FOR TAKING HAYDEN TO BOSTON FOR THANKSGIVING AND TO SEE KATE! BIGG HUGS AND KISSES TO ALL OF YOU WONDERFUL PEOPLE WHO WITHOUT YOU I COULD NOT BE HERE WITH MARLON.

LOVE TO ALL

KEN

Wednesday, November 19, 2003 6:27 PM CST

HELLO KEN HERE,
SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG FOR ME TO UPDATE THIS, I AM LACKING IN COMPUTER SKILLS AND MENDY IS LACKING IN BRAIN CELLS ACTUALLY ALL CELLS HA HA TODAY WAS A BIG DAY SHE HAD HER HEAD SHAVED.( THIS WILL HELP WITH ITCHING AND SHEADING) SHE IS STAYING VERY QUIET AND WILL REAMIN SO TILL THE NEW CELLS KICK IN ( WE ARE AT DAY 6 CELLS KICK IN BETWEEN 14 AND 21 )

WITH HER HEAD SHAVED AND SWOLLEN CHEEKS SHE LOOKS LIKE TELLY SAVALES DOING AN IMPERSONATION OF MARLON BRANDO, SHE SAID SHE IS "GOING TO MAKE ME AN OFFER I CAN'T REFUSE!"

DOCTORS SAY SHE IS DOING WELL AND ALL OF THIS WILL SOON PASS, THEY ARE AMAZED AT HER STRENGTH AND FOCUS ON RECOVERING.

SHE MAY NOT UPDATE THE SITE AS OFTEN, BUT SHE DOSE READ THE NOTES FROM ALL OF YOU, THEY REALY ARE A SOURCE OF STRENGTH AND ENERGY. KEEP THEM COMING.

LOVE TO EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU.

KEN

Sunday, November 16, 2003 11:43 AM CST

Okay, boys & girls, the word for the day is mucous. That's me-yew-cus. And this ain't no ordinary me-yew-cus. It's the type that will go neither up nor down. It just sits in your throat, making you want to gag.

Add to this lovely me-yew-cus lots of blood. The blood is caused by the fact that I no longer have any platelets to fix little cracks or tears, say, like the dried out cracks and tears caused by chemo. All in all, I'm not a pretty sight. (And I just realized that I hope Katelyn N. isn't reading this. Did she hurt herself falling on the floor?)

ON THE OTHER HAND I still have hair! Though, I'll also admit that it's starting to fall out. So this is where the going is getting down and dirty; your notes to me, your love, and your prayers are more appreciated than ever. My family/friends are nothing short of the best. All I can offer, weak as it is, is:

A bit of wisdom: Fear to let fall a drop and you spill a lot.
- Malay proverb

A lot of love: To Kelsey and Hayden

And a little laughter:
"Knock-knock"
"Who's there?"
"Dwayne."
"Dwayne who?"
"Dwayne the bathtub, I'm dwowning!"
(THAT was for Jen G. I actually have a book of knock-knocks I left at home!)

Friday, November 14, 2003 8:01 PM CST

Toooooooooodaaaaaaaaay wwwwwwennnnnnt by sooooooooooooooo verrrrrrrrry sssssloooooooooooooowly. I ssssstartttttted mmmmmmmmorphinnnnnnnnnne, which maaaaaaaaakes meeeeee verrrrrrrrry sssssleeeeeeeeeeepy. IIIIIII'mmmmmm nnnnnot surrrrre if IIIII lllllllllllove mmmmmmmmmorphinnnnnnnnne or haaaaaaaaaaate it!

Tried to eat a little something for dinner, but I still can't manage it. Wish Hayden were here to eat my jello for me! So I guess it's still Julia Child in a bag for me.

I can't tell you how much it means to me to hear from all of you each day. I wish there were some way to acknowledge each and every one of you, but just writing this not has taken all my energy for the moment. This is going to be a long, hard road, but I'm still sure I'm doing the right thing.

Meanwhile:

Some wisdom: Your three best doctors are faith, time, and patience.

Lots of love to each and every one of you.

And some laughter:

Spelling checker

Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rarely ever wrong.

Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect in it's weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.

-- Sauce unknown

Thursday, November 13, 2003 10:19 AM CST

They've had me pretty drugged-up for the last two days so I haven't had the energy to write anything. A few minutes after my mom and stepdad came over to visit Tuseday morning, I had an allergic reaction to one of the medications they were giving me. I had a case of the chills that progressed to "riguers" -- I have no idea how to spell it, but just visualize Ragan's bed bouncing around the room in "the Exorcist." Or your first night of interferon, if your a CML patient. That reaction led to a dose of darvocet, which instantly brought up breakfast before making me pass out. They kept me on high doses of benadryl for the rest of Tuesday and all day Wednesday. Both days were pretty much in a fog.

My birthday got delayed by a few hours, which meant an entirely new birthday. Instead of getting my cells around 9:00 p.m. Wednesday, they came in around 1:30 a.m. Thursday. Again, I slept through the whole thing. Ken did take some pictures; I'm sure I'm wearing a mustache in a few of them!

Today I still have little energy, but they're holding off on the Benedryl for now just to give me a few hours of fully wakeful time. Then, I think they have to start more drugs, which they always pretreat with benedryl to cover for any allergic reactions.

Thank you all for your prayers, encouragement, and warm wishes. Opening up this site is truly a delightful part of my day.

A little wisdom: We comprehend only that He exists, not His essence. - Maimonides, "Guide for the Perplexed"

A little love: to my students at Suisun Valley School.

And a little laughter: Mary Poppins was traveling home, but due to worsening weather, she decided to stop at a hotel for the night. She approached the receptionist and asked for a room for the night.

"Certainly madam", he replied courteously.

"Is the restaurant open still?" inquired Mary.

"Sorry, no," came the reply, "but room service is available all night. Would you care to select something from this menu?"

Mary smiled and took the menu and perused it. "Hmm, I would like cauliflower cheese please," said Mary.

"Certainly madam," he replied.

"And can I have breakfast in bed?" asked Mary politely. The receptionist nodded and smiled. "In that case, I would love a couple of poached eggs please," Mary mused. After confirming the order, Mary signed in and went up to her room for the night.

The night passed uneventfully and next morning Mary came down early to check out. The same guy was still on the desk.

"Morning madam...sleep well?"

"Yes, thank you," Mary replied.

"Food to your liking?"

"Well, I have to say the cauliflower cheese was exceptional, I don't think I have had better. Shame about the eggs tho....they really weren't that nice at all," replied Mary truthfully.

"Oh...well, perhaps you could contribute these thoughts to our Guest Comments Book.

We are always looking to improve our service and would value your opinion," said the receptionist.

"OK, I will...thanks!" replied Mary....who checked out, then scribbled a comment into the book. Waving, she left to continue her journey.

Curious, the receptionist picked up the book to see the comment Mary had written.

"Supercauliflowercheesebuteggswerequiteatrocious!"

Monday, November 10, 2003 8:41 PM CST

Today was another uneventful day. I'm now done with my chemo, and will get my new cells on Wednesday. Meanwhile, it's just filling time and waiting for all the radiation/chemo to catch up with me.

As there's not much else to tell you all (aside from how much I appreciate all of you), I'll sign off quickly with:

A shot of wisdom: A gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trials. -- Chinese proverb.

A shot of love -- to Rebecca M. You are a wonderful lady, and I know you have Jason watching over me. You will always be in my heart.

And a bit of laughter (combined with trivia) -- The Titanic was the first ocean liner to have a swimming pool. No kidding!

Sunday, November 9, 2003 12:16 AM CST

I changed the graphics on my page today in honor of all my fellow "turtles" -- Maui, Raphael, Turtle Queen, East Coast -- who else?? As you can see, my little turtle self is a little hesitant about pulling off the shell, but off it must go!

We're moved into my hospital room -- just barely! It will take a while and a few personal items to make this feel like "home." I'm told to expect to stay around one month, at which time I'll be released to local housing for another 60-70 days. We've rented an apartment in Mountain View to take us through this whole period.

The only thing I know right now about my volunteer donor is that it's a man (Okay, 7th/8th graders, what does that mean I can pursue???), he's 38 years old, and he has a O+ blood, as opposed to my about-to-become-history A- blood. Ken has already made up a rhyme: I used to be A negative (A-) person, but now I'm O so positive (O+). Okay, so I never said it was funny!

Well, today looks to be a long, drawn-out day; still waiting on my chemo, which probably won't happen for a couple more hours yet. Until next time I write, I'd like to leave you with:

A little wisdom: Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn, whatever state I may be in, therein to be content. (Helen Keller)

A little love: A big turtle hug to my birthday sis!

and A little laughter: A group of blonde astronauts hold a press conference to announce that they plan to go to the moon. "But that's been done before," a journalist reminds them. "Then we're going to the sun!" the blondes cry enthusiastically. "Aren't you worried about burning up?" asks a bystander. "No, of course not," replies one of the fair-haired astronauts, "We're going at night!"

Until later ...

Saturday, November 8, 2003

Today is day -4, which means I'm four days off from getting my new cells. Ken has been here since the beginning, and is a great cook-nanny-nurse-shopper-etc. Couldn't have done this without him.

I finished my last of 11 radiation treatments this morning, and all is fine. I have a nice summer tan (the technicians kept insisting I wasn't getting enough rads to change my skin color, until yesterday when even they couldn't help miss it!). Tomorrow morning we'll check into the hospital as an inpatient, and I'll begin my two days of chemo. That's when the fun begins. I think CML listmate Rebecca described it as barfing her way to a size six. That has stuck with me. As well as the fact that I don't think all the sickness accomplished the goal :) Oh well, there's always Atkins after I get through this thing! Gleevec has been kind to me in more than one way!

Will check back in a day or so, and meanwhile will play with the camera setup I got for this computer. See you soon!

Click here to go back to the main page.

----End of History----