Thursday, December 27, 2007 3:58 PM CST

Hi All,

Everything is great here, don't have to draw blood until March. After that, I think we will only draw every 5 or 6 months!

Christmas was great. I am so thankful to see Jackson thriving and so grateful he is here with us!! Every year that passes, it seems I become more and more thankful, more and more aware of how lucky we really are. It breaks my heart to see the Caringbridge kids I follow earn their wings. My heart goes out to their parents and the family and friends left behind. We need a cure for this beast!

My love to all, best wishes for a wonderful 2008! Please pray for all who battle.

Love, Jennifer

Sunday, November 18, 2007 4:04 PM CST

Hi All,

Jackson's blood was perfectly normal : ) YEA!!!!! Thank you, thank you! I got the results Friday (on my birthday!) I can't think of anything in the world that would be a better present than that!! Every day with Jackson & Jordan is a gift : )

We don't have to draw again until March, and after that, we will spread the draws out a little more. I think to every 5 or 6 months : )

March will bring us to 4 years OFF treatment! : ) There are no words for how thankful we are.

If you haven't, please check out the follow site...

http://www.graceoughtoncancerfoundation.org/loneliestroad/

My love to all. Please pray for all who battle.

Love,
Jennifer

Tuesday, October 9, 2007 10:40 AM CDT

Hi All,

Everything is great here. I actually got laid off from work on August 2nd and now am finally going back next Monday. I have SO enjoyed being home with the boys. It is so nice to be able to take them to school in the morning and to be home with them in the afternoon. I have enjoyed every minute of it! Unfortunately, being home doesn't pay the bills and damnit if Publisher's Clearing House didn't show up with that $10 million bucks I've been hoping for ; ) So back to work it shall be.

We don't draw blood until December. Starting in March I believe we get to stretch it out to 4 or 5 months between draws. This March will mark 4 years of Jackson being off treatment. I am thankful beyond words every day of my life.

My love to all and please pray for all who battle.

-Jennifer

Please go to Sydney's site and show her some support. She is TRULY going through hell right now.

http://www.caringbridge.org/fl/sydneysims/

Saturday, August 18, 2007 6:52 PM CDT

Hi All,

Wow, it takes me a long time to update! School starts in two weeks, the summer flew by! Not much new, Jackson is wonderful, so is Jordan. I am debating letting this page go....I feel a little guilty, I think "technically" CaringBridge is for children battling cancer....Jackson has been off treatment for 3 years now. (Thank God!!!!) I am also not sure how many people actually come here anymore, so I am kind of torn. If you do still visit, let me know : ) In case I do decide to let the page go, and you would like to know how Jackson is in the future, please email me at lakerdog2@yahoo.com

Thanks! My love to all. Please pray for all who battle.

****SPECIAL REQUEST**** I just received and email from a former co-worker of mine, her friend's niece (ERICA) is a 17 month old bravely battling neuroblastoma. Her recent scans were not what her doctors and family had been praying for. PLEASE if you could, keep this little girl in your prayers as well. THANK YOU!

Also check out www.lonliestroad.org if you have a minute too!

Saturday, June 2, 2007 6:54 PM CDT

Hi All,

Not much new. Getting ready for summer. Jackson is doing wonderful, had his kindergarten physical (and shots!) yesterday. He was not too thrilled. Telling him he used to get a muscle shot EVERY WEEK when he was on treatment didn't make him feel any better either! I guess I remember it more than he does!

I put up some pics of Jackson's preschool graduation. It was so fun and he was so proud of himself. Kindergarten ALREADY?! Where has the time gone?

My love to all. Please pray for all who battle.

-Jennifer

Thursday, March 22, 2007 5:53 PM CDT

We have been blessed with good news yet again. Jackson's blood is clear. On March 28th - it will be his 3 YEAR anniversary of being off treatment! Even better, we met with his Oncologist for his yearly follow up. He said Jackson's chance of relapse is only about 2 percent this point!!! Another item of worry was Jackson developing a secondary cancer as a side effect of the drug VP16. Dr. Kronish said he believes the chances of that happening are less than 2 percent as well.

He said that out of ALL the kids that participated in the study Jackson was in, that HE has done TEN TIMES better than everyone! That's my baby : ) Remember in the beginning, they told us he may never walk or talk...and to the contrary, he never SHUTS up! His voice is truly music to my ears.

I was sorry to hear that most of the kids that received such high dose chemo so young had suffered developmental problems. Some do not speak, some only speak a little, some don't have coordination. It is obvious that they have been through something serious. This is not the case with Jackson. If you met him, you would never know what he had been through. Dr. Kronish cannot explain why he has done so well. He is amazed. As am I.

The only issue that remains to be seen is how he will do in school. Dr. K mentioned that if he were to need extra help,we would likely not know until about 2nd grade. When I told Jackson's current teachers this, they laughed! They are amazed every day how smart he is and find it hard to believe he would ever have any trouble. However, he did have 14 doses of chemo shot straight into his spine so it could flow into his brain. However it turns out, we will deal with it. Honestly, that is a small price to pay for having him here and healthy! It is unknown whether he will be able to father children. The Cytoxan is especially toxic to the testicles. Not going to know the outcome of that one for a loooong time!

There are no words to describe how blessed and thankful I feel. I am humbled by the higher power and the love that protected my son. I have always been extremely thankful when it comes to Jackson, but hearing Dr. Kronish tell me how lucky Jackson has been, and hearing him tell me about the kids who have not been as fortunate (which absolutely breaks my heart) - somehow took my appreciation to a whole new level. It is almost hard for me to explain it. Everyday when I wake up and walk into his room to wake him up, I pause and marvel at how amazing he is and think of how lucky we really are. So many do not get to tell their story as I do. I am so blessed to have my kids, they are both amazing, caring and sensitive individuals. Jordan is the best big brother Jackson could ever ask for. He is constantly looking after Jackson, loving him, protecting him. I think even as a 9 year old, he is acutely aware of how lucky we are and of how much Jackson went through.

On Saturday I am heading to Laura's house for a celebration of Brandon's life. 3 years. It's so hard for me to believe that 3 years have passed since he left us. How can something still hurt so much after 3 years? It baffles me, pain and grief are such complex animals. I believe in my heart that Brandon is Jackson's guardian angel. He is in heaven watching over Jackson, protecting him, keeping him well. I truly believe that is why the Times family came into my life. To allow the light and love of such an amazing young boy to shine in our lives, even if it was only for a brief time. Jackson adored him. Sometimes only Brandon could make Jackson smile. Thank you Brandon for watching over Jackson and thank you for bringing your mom into my life. She is such an important friend to me and one the most amazing women I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. I love you both!

My love to all, be thankful! And please pray for all who battle.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007 7:06 PM CST

Another clear blood test : ) I actually worried about this one. The school had said Jackson was "not himself" after waking up from his naps the past few days. He was "out of it" and very quiet. Of course I think, "Oh my God, he's sick again." And that's when I realized this is never going to end. NEVER. It will always be on my mind, or at the very least lurking in the back of my mind. It's 3 years off treatment on March 28th of this year. I keep telling myself "Only two more to go and then I can relax." I doubt I'll even relax then.

Not that I'm not HAPPY to have that be my sole worry! Baby Donovan and Catie both went to heaven this past week. It never gets any easier watching these innocent children die of this monster. It is absolutely, positively heart-wrenching. I cannot imagine the pain for the family left behind. No parent should ever bury their child. I am thankful that Jackson is doing well, so so so very blessed. There is not a moment that I'm not thankful.

My love and prayers to all.

Love,
Jennifer

Tuesday, October 24, 2006 5:40 PM CDT

Hello All,

Drew blood and it's fine : ) Next month will mark TWO YEARS 8 MONTHS OFF TREATMENT!!!! I thank the heavens everyday for being so blessed. We are so lucky!!!

My love to all. Please pray for all who battle.

-Jennifer

Thursday, August 10, 2006 4:59 PM CDT

Hello All!

Lots new here. Moved back to Hidden Valley (only until next summer though - then we are going to Santa Rosa.) I LOVED Pleasanton, however, as I feared, it did turn out to be next to impossible for the kids to spend any quality time with their Dad, and I was really starting to miss the rest of my family too! So I'm back.

Jackson will be 4 on the 22nd of this month!!! 4! Where has my baby gone?! Lol, he is always gonna be my baby, I just haven't told him yet.

Blood test for August was fine : ) We draw again in October. We visited his Oncologist recently, and he said to me, "I don't think we're going to pay a high price for his treatment at all." This meant so much to me to hear that he feels Jackson is doing so well. He was unsure. We all were. And I mean UNSURE. It was debateable if he would ever walk or talk! Jackson was part of a new study, so there were no "numbers" to go by, no percentage of survival, relapse, no idea of how he would respond. He IS making the numbers for the future children to get this treatment. What an amazing thing for him to be a part of. To think that he is part of a new treatment that could save infants who are diagnosed with ALL is AMAZING! That's my baby though, destined to do amazing things!

Hope everyone is well! My love to all. Please pray for all who battle.

Love,
Jennifer

Tuesday, June 6, 2006 9:01 PM CDT

I am posting the lyrics to a favorite "song" of mine. So true! All is well here, moving again and Bryan is taking the kids for the summer, I will have them on weekends, so that will be hard.

Blood was FINE for June. We draw again in August. Thanks for checking on Jackson : )

Please pray for all who battle.

Love,
Jennifer

P.S. - new pics : )


**********************************************
Wear sunscreen. - Baz Luhrmann

"If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in away you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters.
Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either.
Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your livingroom.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard.
Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is away of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen."

Saturday, April 1, 2006 6:55 PM CST

Wow, it's been a long time since I wrote. It's ironic, because I'm on Caringbridge everyday. I have a list of kids that I check on. Some that I have followed for over 3 years. One of these little boys, Cameron, is dying. He is in his final days. Just sitting here typing it makes me cry. I read his mother's words and I just cannot wrap my head around her pain. It seems inconceivable to me to live without my kids. I have thought of Jackson dying ALOT. Of course, mostly when he was sick. But I think it's worse for me to think of it now. It scares me more, if that's possible, than when he was sick. When I read of someone losing their child, or preparing to lose their child (God, how do you "prepare" for that?!) I am reminded that it could still happen to me. He could relapse. We celebrated two years off treatment on March 28, so everyday that ticks by, the chances go down, but one never knows. I also think of my friend Laura, who lost her son Brandon two years on March 17th. I think why did my son make it and hers did not? How does she do it? On top of all the other crap she has going on, why the hell did that have to happen to HER? I can't think of someone more deserving than a damn break than she. I read something today that struck me. Why do pedophiles live to be dirty 80 year old men when young, innocent children with their whole lives ahead of them die of cancer? How is that fair?

Obviously, I have been thinking about depressing crap far too much today. I am SO thankful for the blessings I've been given, I have my baby. He made it. I wake up every morning to his sweet face, and some don't get that luxury. It is hard for me to write here all the time. I want to, it's just that now that the treatment is over, I wanna run away from cancer all together. Not really possible, since I can't run from my own mind, but that's kinda how it feels.

Please pray for Cameron and his family. Pray for all the brave kids who fight every day!

Jackson's blood was normal. I LOVE typing that, and I am so thankful. But....right now it feels like, "Hey, can you pray for Cam? He's going to die, but by the way, my kid is fine" I don't know. I know everything happens for a reason, and obviously my child was meant to make it. I will never know why Brandon or Cam or any other child who dies of cancer didn't make it.

My love to all.

-Jennifer

Tuesday, January 3, 2006 9:33 PM CST

Happy New Year! Not much to update, the holidays were good : )

Next blood draw is in February.

New pics in album : )

Please pray for all who battle.

All my love,
Jennifer

Tuesday, December 20, 2005 5:44 PM CST

Sorry for the lack of an update! Jackson is wonderful, a rambunctious, energetic 3 year old! Most importantly, a *healthy* one : ) Thank God!

We had the pleasure of attending Dylan's 5th birthday over the weekend. Dylan is a wonderful little boy we met in the hospital. He has ALL like Jackson did. He is in the maintenance phase of his treatment and is kicking cancer's butt : ) Dylan's parents, Beatriz & Jerry are two of the sweetest people I had the pleasure of meeting in the hospital along our journey. I also got to meet Jerry's sister, Patti, and her lovely famiy. Patti visits Jackson's page and leaves guestbook messages, so it was SO great to meet her face to face! We are hoping to spend more time with all of them in the future : )

Happy Holidays to all! My love to you and yours. Please pray for all who battle.

Love,
Jennifer

Wednesday, October 12, 2005 9:58 PM CDT

Hi All,

New job is great, kids are great : ) Being a single mommy is ALOT harder than I thought, but we are hanging in there!

Everyone have a wonderful Thanksgiving! Hug your babies tight, and say an extra prayer for those not as lucky.

New pics in the photo album!

My love to all,
Jennifer

Monday, September 26, 2005 9:59 PM CDT

BLOOD WORK IS FINE! Thank God! I am so very thankful today! He still looks pale to me, but if they say he's fine, I'll take it!

The move went well : ) Will update more later, must continue unpacking!

Love & prayers to all!

-Jennifer

Wednesday, September 21, 2005 8:53 PM CDT

Hello All!

So we are set to move to Pleasanton on Saturday! I am excited, but nervous. I have a great new job and the schools are wonderful there, but I am concerned about moving the kids so far away from Bryan. It will be harder to schedule time with him due to his work schedule. Hopefully, it will all work itself out.

Jackson is well. He has been fighting this cold and cough and looks really pale to me. I am trying not to freak out, but anytime he looks pale, I immediately think he has replapsed. We draw blood the first of October. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE pray for a normal blood test. I have been consumed with thoughts of him being sick again. Maybe it's the move and all the stress, I don't know. I haven't been this paranoid in soooo long. God, if he got sick again, I just don't know what I'd do. I hate to even let my mind go there. He's eating and not sleeping over a normal amount, so I'm trying to relax.

I hope this entry finds you all well. Please pray for all who battle.

All my love,
Jennifer

P.S. New pics!

Sunday, August 7, 2005 5:48 PM CDT

Hi All,

Been blessed with another normal blood test. I am so thankful.

We have had a lot going on. Summer has flown by! The kids just got back from Disneyland and they loved it. They went with Daddy, Nanny, Uncle Marty, and cousins Nika and Keenan. I got 6 days to myself. Ah, it was quiet here!

I have decided to move to the East Bay, so I am putting the house on the market tomorrow. This is such a small, family orientated community, being single here is too weird. Bryan and I have been separated for a year now, and it is time to settle everything. He says he is going to move to Vegas to work for the police department there. I would hate to think of him only seeing the kids during the summer, but I guess he really is so unhappy, he feels like he has to go.

I am excited to move. I am excited to work/live in a big city again. My job now will lead nowhere. I need a career again. I miss being around people. My sister is making the move with me, so that will be great.

Anyway, my love to you all. Please pray for all who battle.

-Jennifer

Thursday, May 26, 2005 10:00 PM CDT

Hi All,

All is well here. We need to draw blood again the first week in June. This is the first time we have waited 2 months to draw. The protocol for this whole year will be draws every 2 months, then for the third year off treatment, the draws will be every 3 months.

I haven't thought much about it. Thankfully, I am FINALLY in a place where my child having cancer is now far away from me. Of course, not a day goes by without me thinking about our journey, but the terror, sadness and pain is gone. I am so thankful to be where we are.

Please pray for all who battle. My love to you all.

-Jennifer

Thursday, April 7, 2005 11:33 AM CDT

Hi All,

We have been blessed with another clean blood test : ) Thank God.

Tomorrow it will be 2 years since Jackson's diagnosis. He has been off chemo for 1 year.

In some ways, the life we led while he was sick seems a distant memory, then again, if I let my mind go too far, I can still feel how my heart broke when I was told my baby was sick. I get that empty feeling in the pit of my stomach. I remember picking him up out of his crib to head to the hospital, not knowing what was wrong with him, nor what lie ahead. I remember how he felt in my arms as everything I knew about life was crumbling right then for me.

Relapse is my biggest nightmare. Thoughts of it no longer consume me as they used to, as I am starting to feel relaxed in this "new life." I have stopped the incessant worrying and am thankful for each healthy day we are given. "Hospital life" and "Chemo-mom" seem so far away, that it makes me feel physically sick to think of ever going back to that. Sometimes I feel like since I am relaxed, the monster will creep back into our lives.

Thanks to all who have followed us through our journey. Please keep all the children and families who have not been as fortunate as we have in your prayers. My heart aches for them so.

My love to you and yours.

-Jennifer

Thursday, March 17, 2005 8:57 PM CST

Hi All,

Jackson and Jordan are with Daddy for the night and it is SO quiet here! All I hear is the damn dog snoring!

Please keep the Times family in your prayers today. It is one year ago today they lost their son, Brandon to ALL. He passed after relapsing and going through a bone marrow transplant. Brandon's mom, Laura was the first "hospital mom" who reached out to me. We journeyed through our kids sickness and treatment together. We became close and I consider her family now. She is one of the most amazing women I have ever met.

It is so hard to know that Brandon lost his battle and that Jackson is winning his. The thought of Jackson dying has always left me paralyzed with fear and brought emotions so dark that I cannot bear to think of them. To know that my dear friend is actually experiencing these feelings (x a million) EVERY second of every day makes me so sad. There is nothing I can do to even begin to ease her pain. It is a pain no mother should ever know. It is so unfair!

Please say an extra prayer for this wonderful family. It would mean a lot to me.

I love you Brandon, I miss you and your smile so much!

Love,
Jennifer

March 3, 2005

Hi!

Sorry for the lack of update. All is well here, Jackson is great! March 28 will be one year off treatment and almost two years in remission! We are so blessed!

Jordan is wonderful and doing great in school.

My love to you and yours!

-Jennifer

Tuesday, September 28, 2004 8:30 PM CDT

Hello friends : )

Drew blood today and have again been blessed with wonderful results. Thank you God!!

We have been off treatment for 7 months now. Like how I say "We"??? Like I had to endure what he did! It amazes me how fast time goes by.


Bryan and I separated almost two months ago, and finally it is getting easier for Jordan. Jackson is so young, I don't think he really realizes. I am happy there is no more fighting in the house, and Jordan mentioned that today to me, so I felt relieved, kind of like an affirmation that I did indeed make the right decision.

Thank you for checking on us. Hugs and love to you and yours.

Love,

Jennifer

Thursday, August 26, 2004 5:33 PM CDT

Hi All,

NEW pictures in photo album : )

One more clean blood test under our belts! Thank God : )

I forget month to month the huge sense of relief that washes over me when I hear the nurse say, "Everything is completely normal." We had no normal for so long and even when his treatment was over, it was impossible to go back to whatever was "normal" before the cancer crept into our lives. It truly does change everything. I count my blessings daily for the good that has come of this experience.

Sending love to everyone. Hug your babies tight : )

Love, Jennifer

Thursday, August 5, 2004 6:26 PM CDT

Jackson's most recent blood test was just fine! : ) Thank God!!

Just been swimming, swimming and more swimming. Enjoying a summer together with no hospital stays : )

(I'm so boring now!) I'd rather be boring than typing about cancer though!

Love to you and yours!

Monday, July 26, 2004 11:57 AM CDT

Wow! Long time no update, huh? Sorry! All has been well. Swimmming, swimming and more swimming. I swear my kids are in the water more hours of the day than not. Our pool is heaven sent in this heat!

Jackson is well. Going to be 2 next month and it is starting to show! Of course, it doesn't help that he was spoiled rotten the whole time he was sick. (Mostly because he was just a baby, but also because I couldn't help it!) He threw a temper tantrum two nights ago and with the way he was acting, I was thinking the worst, I kept asking him "Does something hurt???" FREAKED me out big time. That coupled with his bruises from falling everywhere, boy did my mind wander. Turns out he was just being a brat! I swear I almost took him in for a blood draw a week early to be sure though!

Next blood test is next week. He has a well baby check that day as well.

NEW POOL PICS in the photo album : )

If you have a minute, please visit Carter's link below, he and his family could use lots of support and prayers right now.

Love to you and yours,
Jennifer

Friday, July 2, 2004 1:57 PM CDT

Hi All!

Happy Fourth of July to everyone. May you spend it loving and appreciating every day given to you and your family : ) There are so many who will be spending this day without their child for the first time. Please keep those families close to your heart and in your prayers this weekend.

Jackson had his first blood draw without his port! I numbed his arm up real good and he didn't even flinch when they poked him. He is so good! Never ceases to amaze me, that kid! Of course, brother was there to help, providing some serious distraction. That made it much easier : )

The best news is that his blood counts are "That of a normal kid!!" That's exactly what his nurse said when I called for the results. I am so thankful!

One more month down. It does get easier each time. I can't wait for the day where I don't think about the blood draw except for day before : )

Love to you and yours,
Jennifer

Thursday, June 24, 2004 1:17 PM CDT

Hi All,

Jackson's celebration of life party was a hit!! We had SO much fun : )

We had about 100 people, kids everywhere!! I've never seen so many kids in our pool.

The local grocery store loaned us their huge portable grill, which was so appreciated. We had 120 hot dogs, 60 bratwursts, and 20 chickens to grill!! It was a ton of food, and everyone got to take some home, so that was nice.

We planted a tree for our friend, Brandon, who lost his battle with ALL on March 17 of this year. It was so hard for his family, but healing at the same time.

Thanks for checking in : ) Love to you and yours.

-Jennifer

Tuesday, June 15, 2004 11:03 AM CDT

Hi,

Sorry, I lag at updating now. Everything is GREAT! I am finally settling into a life of no chemo, no cleaning up puke all night long, no giving shots, etc., etc.

I haven't been consumed with thoughts of relapse like I was before. Not to say it doesn't enter my mind every now and then, but when it does, I don't feel the same gripping sense of panic I once did, I just keep praying it won't happen.

Jackson is thriving. Saying lots of new words, just being absolutely adorable : ) The only lasting side effect that I ever really noticed was his balance. He seemed to not be able to run like other kids his age. This was due to the high dose ARA-C chemo he received. Now, he is running everywhere, and it is too cute.

His party is this Saturday and we are expecting over 115 people! Going to be fun, I am sure.

Thanks for checking in. Love to you and yours.

New pics in photo album!!! : )


-Jennifer

Friday, June 4, 2004 11:14 AM CDT

Sorry for the delay!

Jackson had his port removed on Wednesday : ) The surgery went well and we are excited to have it out! Jackson doesn't seem to care either way ; )

Gotta keep this short - need to run to Costco to pick up party stuff : )

Please check out Miranda's link below.....her family could really use your prayers right now.

Sending love to all,
Jennifer

Monday, May 24, 2004 10:33 AM CDT

Happy Monday!

Hope everyone is well : ) Jackson is great. Growing lots of new hair - and it is completely blonde! Too cute.

We are having a "Celebration of life" party for Jackson on June 19th. We plan to see over 100 people! How they will all fit in my house, I have no clue, but I always say, "The more, the merrier!" Thank goodness for our big backyard and the pool.

Not much else to report, life off treatment is still taking some getting used to, but we are loving it : )

-Jennifer

Sunday, May 16, 2004 6:52 PM CDT

Hi All,

Well, Jackson has been a puking, pooping machine - poor thing, he's been so sick : (
Some awful stomach bug that went around - hope Jordan doesn't get it too.

He is FINALLY all better today, although still very sleepy -which sets my mind spinning all over the place. I went shopping with my sister today and I swear I asked her 10 times, "Does he feel warm to you???" Her answer everytime is "NO! Not even a little bit!"

Damn, my mind will never be the same. I will never look at any illness/symptom the same. I feel bad even complaining about that - he could have died! What the hell am I complaining about ?!?!

I hate to say it, but I MISS the weekly CBC's! At least then I knew all was well. To go off-treatment, and at the same time, switch to monthly CBC's is traumatizing! That is too much time for my mind to wander. I truly try to stay positive, but somedays it can be so damn hard : (

They canceled his surgery for port removal. They wanted him to be well for awhile before putting him thru that, so we tenatively rescheduled for June 2nd.

Hope all is well with everyone. KISS YOUR KIDS!

-Jennifer

Tuesday, May 11, 2004 1:39 PM CDT

Hi All,

Everything is okay here. Jackson has had a hell of a stomach bug since Friday. Poor little guy, I have never seen him poop so much : ( Throwing up too - thank god I have left over Zofran!!! Love that stuff!

Bryan is home : ) He just switched to working days, so it is much nicer to have him home at night!

Jackson is scheduled to have his port removed next Thursday! I am happy, but scared too. This will be the final step away from cancer. Not that I'll ever look at life the same again, it will be nice to have it out! Please pray for his surgery to go well.

Thanks for checking in : )

-Jennifer

Tuesday, May 4, 2004 11:02 PM CDT

Hi All,

Jackson's blood tests are FINE!!!!!!!!

Thank you God!

Thanks so much for your prayers and good wishes : )

Love,

Jennifer

Sunday, May 2, 2004 11:06 PM CDT

Hi All,

Had the worst week of my life since Jackson was diagnosed. He has been off treatment for a month now - thank God! So I was expecting a break of some sort. No way!

First, I got diagnosed with Hemophilia, then I found out I have pre-cancer cells in my cervix and have to go in for a biopsy in June. (I've had this before about nine years ago, and all turned out fine, however, the procedure is painful and I just DREAD doing it again.) My husband has moved out. (My choice), but still, it is awful. Jordan is having an awful time with it, and I truly hope things will turn out with us back together, but a lot must be changed first. Then my car pretty much blew up on the side of the road 40 minutes from home, with me, Jackson, my sister, her 4 month old and a full car of FROZEN food in the car, not to mention 95 degree heat. My mom had to come get us. The car is a 1996 Chevy Blazer and also a piece of crap. I decided not to dump anymore money into it, SO (okay, I'll venture into good news now!)......I went out and bought a BRAND NEW Toyota Highlander today!!! I love it!! I've never had a brand new car, so this is a real treat for me.

Jackson has his FIRST blood test tomorrow. I am a complete nervous wreck. Can't sleep well, pretty much consumed with thoughts of relapse. This is awful. I certainly hope this gets easier every month. It doesn't help that he has gone to bed at 6:30 the last two nights. ("He missed his naps", that is what I keep telling myself....as I have flashbacks of before his diagnosis and his tiredness) PLEASE pray that his blood tests will be fine. It would mean so much to us.

Hope everyone is well. Prayers and love to you and yours.

Love, Jennifer

Friday, April 30, 2004 0:00 AM CDT

Hi All,

Hope everyone is well!

The lump in my mom's breast turned out to just be a cyst. Thank God!

I found out today I have Hemophilia. I am only the second female my hemotologist has EVER seen to get it during his whole career. Good news is, it won't affect my daily life. If I ever have surgery, I would need to consult with him first about bleeding issues, and he said to avoid extreme-risk activities (sky-diving, mountain-climbing, etc.) Like I would do those anyway!!! SO not me! ; )

Bad news is that if I ever get pregnant again, he suggested doing an amnio to see if I have passed it on to the baby. He even went as far to say if I had, that I should consider not keeping the pregnancy. Reasoning behind that is that it could be passed on as a mild level of disease, moderate level or severe level. He said I would have to think about quality of life for my child if it were severe. Problem is there is no way to know if it is mild, moderate or severe until after the baby is born!

He said I was lucky to have two healthy children - (don't know if they have it yet, they still must be tested - but if they had it in a moderate or severe form, we would have already known....) That said, how could I terminate a pregnancy knowing it could just be a mild form??? There is just no way to tell. Thank the good Lord that both my children have been spared the severe form of this disease! I had no idea I had this! I just started bruising very easily, then thru lots of blood tests, they figured it out.

Don't know why I am stressing about the future pregnancy issues. I'm not even close to even considering having another baby, but it just feels so weird for a potential problem to exist. Hope that made sense. I feel a little jinxed right now - damn haven't I had to go through enough in the last year with Jackson being sick! Give me a break already!!

On a good note, Jackson is doing GREAT!! Eating well, playing, and being a normal 20 month old! We have his first blood test on Monday. I am terrified. PLEASE pray for all to be normal.

Thanks for checking in.

Love, Jennifer

Monday, April 19, 2004 5:49 PM CDT

Hello Friends,

Not much new to report here. It feels so weird to not be writing about what kind of chemo Jackson has received and if he is feeling sick or not. Weird in a good way, of course!

I painted the kids' bathroom today. I hate painting. I am so messy. The upside is that next Monday we are having new tile counters and new floors installed, so I just let the paint spill everywhere. I figure if it's all getting ripped out, who cares? Though I do have to look at it for a week now!

We are getting the kitchen done too. I am so excited! Maybe I'll post some before and after pics. Normally, I'd have put that tax return money away, but I deserve to spend it this year!! (I can justify anything these days.)

Jordan is playing T-Ball again and he loves it. He is so good!

Please say a prayer for Savannah and her mommmy, Lisa. They really need it. I cannot imagine Lisa's pain. www.caringbridge.org/ar/savannah

My mom found a pretty big lump in her breast, and has been feeling really fatigued. She has an appt. Thursday. Please pray that it is nothing. I don't think I can face someone else I love battling this beast.

Hope everyone is doing well. Thanks for checking in - it means so much : )

Oh, yea - NEW PICTURES in the photo album!!

-Jennifer

Thursday, April 15, 2004 5:41 PM CDT

Hi All,

Feeling much better. Had a nice long talk with one of my favorite oncology nurses, and she made me feel much better.

I adjusted to life with Jackson being on chemo - now I have to adjust to him being off! : ) I REFUSE to let thoughts of relapse cloud all of my days. I WILL enjoy every day that is given to us! There, that's my new mantra! Ah, I have a feeling is it easier typed than done! I will work on it though.

We are so blessed to have come this far, and I am so thankful.

Please sign the guestbook if you have time, we love to read the entries, they are so appreciated : )

Love to all!

-Jennifer

Thursday, April 15, 2004 5:41 PM CDT

Hi All,

Feeling much better. Had a nice long talk with one of my favorite oncology nurses, and she made me feel much better.

I adjusted to life with Jackson being on chemo - now I have to adjust to him being off! : ) I REFUSE to let thoughts of relapse cloud all of my days. I WILL enjoy every day that is given to us! There, that's my new mantra! Ah, I have a feeling is it easier typed than done! I will work on it though.

We are so blessed to have come this far, and I am so thankful.

Please sign the guestbook if you have time, we love to read the entries, they are so appreciated : )

Love to all!

-Jennifer

Tuesday, April 13, 2004 0:05 AM CDT

Hi All,

Jackson is doing very well - two weeks off treatment : )

I am more scared than ever. I was fine with the chemo schedule! At least I knew it was keeping the cancer away. Now I am just plain terrified, and to make that worse, I feel a little guilty. I should be so thankful to be done, and it's not that I don't feel that way, but I am scared of the future.

I want to feel elated and just move on with my life, but I really don't remember what it was like before this. Even if I did, it wouldn't matter. I look at everything so differently now. It's hard to just "go back" to what we lived before, when I feel like a different person. I'm sure that makes no sense.

I am just SO scared of him relapsing. God, what would I do? Chemo not being an option, we would have to move straight to bone marrow transplant, and that is my worst fear. Possibly 3 - 6 months away from my family, 2 hours away from home, and with no guarantee my son will live? And at what cost? Even though his docs expect him to do fine, how do they REALLY know? He was in a NEW study, for God's sake - there are no real numbers to go on. No idea of what will happen.

Sorry, this is not at all like my normal posts. I am just having a really hard time. I feel like if he went thru all the chemo, he should BE DONE! There should be no worry of "it" coming back. No fair! We went thru the hell, now leave us alone!

PLEASE pray for Jackson to stay in remission and beat this monster the first time around. PLEASE pray for all the other families who have not been as lucky. Some fight the beast multiple times, and still have no guarantees.

So many have it so much worse than we do. I pray for them and keep them close to my heart.

Thanks for supporting us.

-Jennifer

Saturday, April 10, 2004 1:00 AM CDT

Hello!

All went well in San Francisco, MRI and ECHO both looked great, so that is good news!

Jackson's IGG levels were not that low, however, just low enough to get IVIG per the protocol. They said they would be surprised if he needed it again next month. Immune system is doing well - yeah Jackson!

Going to get the port out soon : )

The kids swam in the backyard today for the first time this Spring!! It was beautiful outside. Seeing them playing and enjoying themselves made me realize how lucky I am. I am so thankful for my family. Every day is a new day to appreciate life now.

Thank you God for blessing my baby and getting him through this. Thank you to the wonderful nurses and doctors at Kaiser, they are all heaven-sent. Thanks to the CB community too - you have been my support system - along with my family and friends : )

Special thanks to Pat at Kaiser for walking us out the other night! I hope you read this : )

Special thanks to my sister, Sarah. I would have never made it through this without her. She an amazing woman, who has supported me 100% throughout this nightmare. She also happens to be an amazing single mother - raising beautiful Mackenzie all by herself, and doing an OUTSTANDING job of it. Love you, Sarah. Thank you.

Will check in soon! Happy Easter to everyone! HUG your children tight! (Sorry for any typo's - I'm too tired to proof-read tonight!)

Love always,
Jennifer

Monday, April 5, 2004 6:16 PM CDT

Hi All!

Went to Tahoe for the weekend for one of my dearest friend's wedding. The wedding was perfect, and we all had lots of fun.

It was pretty much the first time we were able to go away as a family together in SO long! It was nice to not have to worry about Jackson being sick from treatment and nice to not have to worry about giving him meds : )

I was of course, paranoid he would spike a fever and we'd end up in some strange hospital! Keeping his port in has a good side (not having to poke him!) and a bad side - (any time he spikes a fever of 101.5 - he most likely needs antibiotics because it could be an infection in his port lines.)

Fever worries aside, we had fun. Thank you Karina and Dan!

Going to San Francisco on Thursday for an ECHO and a MRI, after that, we will scoot upstairs to be admitted and he will receive IVIG and Pentamadine. Should be a long day, but at least it's NOT chemo!!!! : )

Love to all!

-Jennifer

Wednesday, March 31, 2004 2:20 PM CST

Hi All,

Jackson is doing really well! Not having to give him pills every night has been great : )

He threw up his first day off treatment - guess I need to keep up with the Zofran for a little while till all the chemo is out of his little body.

Check out the link below!!! Jackson is child of the month on the Fight for a Cure website! Thanks to Le-Ann for taking the time to put the page together - it looks wonderful!!!

Love to all,
Jennifer

Sunday, March 28, 2004 7:53 PM CST

Jackson took his last chemo pill about 2 hours ago!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We are excited to be done with treatment, but so scared of the future. One day at a time! I keep telling myself that, but it's hard!

THANK YOU so much to everyone who has shown their support for our family and for Jackson. Your prayers and well wishes have gotten us through the worst time in our lives. The Caringbridge community continues to amaze me. Thank you for your support.

Of course, I will still be updating weekly and checking in on everyone daily : )

Sending our love!

-Jennifer

Thursday, March 25, 2004 11:32 AM CST

Hi All!

We are home from the hospital!! Jackson recovered very quickly, and feels much better now. I am so thankful we caught the pneumonia early : )

His appetite is back in full force. He ate sausage, bacon, pancakes and hashbrowns for breakfast! I thought he was going to stay in his highchair all day ; )

More great news - Jackson had HIS LAST methotrexate muscle shot yesterday too!!!!!!!!!!!! All he has left of his whole treatment is 4 DAYS of 6MP pills! Finally!!!

Thanks for all your prayers and well wishes!

Love,
Jennifer

Monday, March 22, 2004 8:23 PM CST

This is Jackson's Aunty Sarah. Jackson has pneumonia and is in Santa Rosa at the hospital with mommy. They will most likely be there for a few days. Jennifer is asking that everyone please pray for Jackson to get better and come home soon.

Thank you all so much for your thoughts and prayers!

Saturday, March 20, 2004 9:56 PM CST

Rushed to the hospital at 1:30 a.m. the other night with a temp of 102. Yuck! Thankfully, it was just the ear infection in full force. We went home that same day with antibiotics.

I was so happy to not have to stay in the hospital! I am so ready for this to be over that the thought of staying there and being away from my family actually made me feel physically sick. It just brought me back to all the emotions of the "Beginning" of this journey - endless days in the hospital, terribly low blood counts, high dose chemo, infections, & my poor Jordan asking me, "Mommy, are you ever coming home??"

Jackson is FUSSY! Not eating well, being very grumpy and sleeping a lot. I think he just needs a couple days to get over it.

Jackson has his LAST chemo shot on Tuesday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!He will take his last chemo pill on the 28th!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is with a broken heart that I tell you that our dear friend, Brandon Times passed away on the 17th. He was 6 years old, and had ALL. His dear mom, Laura, was a rock of support to me and a wonderful friend during this journey. Brandon was diagnosed just before Jackson was. He relapsed in Oct., had a cord blood transplant, and passed away due to complications. I know he is in a better place and finally cancer free, yet my heart breaks so for his family. Please say an extra prayer for them tonight.

As always, thank you for your continued love and support. I have received more love and support through Caringbridge folks than I have received from friends that I have had for over 10 years. Very sad, but then again I am SO VERY grateful for all the Caringbridge people and everyone else who happens by Jackson's site. THANK YOU for praying for him and taking the time to check up on him. Also, thanks for signing the guestbook, I know Jackson is too little to read them now (don't worry - I am saving them all!) BUT - your words of support and love get me through the day : )

Also, special love to Fairy Godmother! If you haven't seen the LOVELY quilt she stitched for Jackson, please click on the link below. Thank you, Fairy Godmother, for continuing to check up on us : )

Love,

Jennifer

Monday, March 15, 2004 7:51 PM CST

Hi All!!

The good news is we went to Santa Rosa today for Jackson's 2nd to LAST methotrexate shot!!!!!!! Yeah!!!!

The bad news is that he has the beginning of an ear infection : ( It's good we caught it now, but the poor guy is miserable.

He is so funny, he can take all the chemo we give him, but absolutely falls apart when he has something "normal" happen to him. Guess it's because he has been sick for more months out of his life than he's been well, so he just doesn't pay attention to how the chemo makes him feel now. I assume that's how he thinks he supposed to feel.

One more shot to go! We'll do that next Wednesday and he'll take his last 6MP pill on the 28th : ) I am fluctuating wildly from happy & elated to terrified & helpless. What will keep the cancer away now if we stop the chemo???? Who's to say it won't come back?? I am trying to just have faith that he will be fine. But, God, how my mind can wander.

PLEASE PLEASE, pray for Jackson to have beat this disease the first time around - pray for his continuted remission. I am so scared to feel happy - don't want to jinx anything.

Thanks for everyone's love and support! : )

-Jennifer

Wednesday, March 10, 2004 4:44 PM CST

Hi All,

Went to SF yesterday for an immunoglobin infusion, antibiotic infusion and a chemo shot of methotrexate.

Jackson was pretty fussy today. I'm thinking it's a combination of a long day yesterday coupled with the chemo. He is napping now, (on our new Cal-King mattress!) -We figured we'll probably never get the kids out of our bed - so we may as well be comfortable ; ) I figure they won't want to sleep with us forever, so I'll just enjoy it for now : )

ONLY TWO WEEKS LEFT OF CHEMO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Woo-hoooo! He will have a chemo shot this coming Monday and the last shot on Wed. the 24th : ) He will continue to take the 6MP pills - the last one on the 28th!

The plan for now is to keep the port in his chest for about 3 months after he stops treatment. He will need the Pentamadine for those 3 months, and possibly more immunoglobin transfusions (all normal and expected). Bad thing about keeping the port in is that if he gets a fever of 101.5 or higher.....to SF we go for IV antibiotics : ( Hoping with the weather being nice, he will stay well!

Love to all!

-Jennifer

Thursday, March 4, 2004 5:02 PM CST

Hi All,

Went to SR yesterday for Jackson's methotrexate muscle shot. We got there and the chemo wasn't even there, so we had to drive over to the other building and get it.

Jackson is doing really well. He seems to feel okay this time : ) Keeping up with the anti-nausea medicine around the clock - learned my lesson last time!

He only has 3 of these shots left to do!

Since April 10th of last year, he has had:

14 Spinal Taps, in which 3 kinds of chemo are insterted directly into his spine (intrathecal chemo) He is under anesthesia while they do this.

9 bone marrow aspirations (bone marrow extracted thru his hip.) He is under anesthesia for this as well.

36 shots of GCSF (medicine to help his blood counts rise after heavy-duty chemo.) Most of those, unfortunately, I have had to do : (

33 muscle shots of chemo (Methotrexate) to his little leg.

196 Predinose (a steroid) pills by mouth

112 Purinethol pills by mouth. These pills disrupt the DNA of cancer cells.

86 doses of chemo! They have consisted of Vincristine, Daunorubicin, ARA-C, Mexotrethate, VP16, Cytoxan and L-Asparaginase.

ALL of the above make him feel like CRAP and he has just been the best baby this whole time! Looking back, I cannot believe he isn't a grumpy monster ; )

Thanks for your continued support and to those who have signed the guestbook!! When I have a bad day, it just lifts me up to read the entries : ) Thanks again!

Love,

Jennifer

Monday, March 1, 2004 8:45 PM CST

Hi All!

Everything has been going well. Found out Jackson's IVIG levels are low, (which is normal) so we will have to go to SF to have an infusion - it takes 4 - 6 hours. I was kinda bummed because I thought our last hospital trip was past us! I shouldn't be complaining! At least it's nothing bad! I was just SO looking foward to not driving to SF for awhile!

Jordan turned 6 today! I cannot believe my first baby is 6!!! I remember him being Jackson's age like it was yesterday : )

Had fun with with the bottle of Prednisone pills tonight - flushed them all down the garbage disposal!! - Where they belong!!!! Jackson took his LAST prednisone pill tonight : ) YEAH!!!! That stuff makes him a little monster! A cute one, but a grumpy one ; )

We have a methotrexate muscle shot on Wednesday, one of four left!

Love,

Jennifer

Wednesday, February 25, 2004 9:12 PM CST

Hi All,

Only 4 weeks left! Went to SF today for Jackson's LAST spinal chemo!!! Last dose of Vincristine too : )

Auntie Sarah and Baby Mackenzie came with us. We left at 7:15 a.m. and didn't get to SF until 10:50!!!!! It was POURING. I have never driven in such bad weather.

Chemo and anesthesia went well. We left at about 3:00 p.m. and someone was watching out for us, because it didn't rain even one drop the whole way home. This is going to sound crazy, but I was talking to the nurse and Jackson's Oncologist about being scared of relapse. Then on the way home, the sky cleared, and you could see HUGE rays of sun shining all the way down to the ground. It was so beautiful and all of a sudden, I had such a sense of peace -like I KNEW Jackson would be okay. May sound weird, but I'm sure some of you will understand!

Please keep praying that Jackson will beat this disease. Pray for him to stay in remission. We are in the home stretch now! Thanks to everyone for their continued support and prayers!

Love to all : )

-Jennifer

Sunday, February 22, 2004 1:20 PM CST

Hi All,

Thought I'd give Jackson a break from his Zofran (anti-nauseau medicine) last night because it causes him to have such a bad headache. I figured he's less likely to throw up at night while he's sleeping that during the day. WRONG! Poor baby, he woke up at about 1:00 a.m., and started throwing up - in his sleep! I swear he would have stayed asleep had I not grabbed him and run him to the bathroom.

Guess I'll just have to keep giving him Tylenol for his head with the Zofran.

The chemo is always in him. His poor body never gets a break! He always something in his system making him feel yucky. Thank God this is almost over!

5 weeks to go! He has his LAST spinal chemo and bone marrow aspiration on Wednesday in SF. I'm so glad it's the last one. He has to go under anesthesia and I can't stand not letting him eat or drink! The whole time we are making that 2 1/2 hour drive, he says, "Ba-ba??", then I have to tell him we don't have any ba-ba's in the car because how can I tell him he can't have one? He doesn't understand. I hate it. He loves his bottle! Depriving him of his ba-ba bothers me more than giving him shots! How bizarre is that?

Hope everyone has a good week!

-Jennifer

Wednesday, February 18, 2004 6:32 PM CST

Hi All,

Went to Santa Rosa today and had a chemo muscle shot. Jackson was a little fussier than usual at this appointment. I drew his blood this morning, and I was supposed to leave him accessed - (leave his IV line in) because he has to have his monthly antibiotic to prevent pneumonia. BUT ditzy mommy forgot to leave the line in, so I had to poke him again when we got to the Doctor's office. Poor baby!! No wonder he was mad. Then we had to sit there for an hour while it goes in, so we watched Baby Mozart like 5 times : )

Check out the link below to Jackson's NEW SMILE QUILT!!!!

Love, Jennifer

Friday, February 13, 2004 12:29 AM CST

I jinxed myself saying that Jackson was doing great not throwing up!!! He threw up last night in the middle of the night, it was so unexpected that I couldn't grab him and it went EVERYWHERE!! Poor thing. He hates to be cleaned up and changed in the middle of the night. Back on the Zofran I guess. Here come the headaches. Poor guy, don't know if he'd rather have a pounding headache or be puking.

Love to All : )

-Jennifer

Thursday, February 12, 2004 0:44 AM CST

Hi Everyone : )

Went to Santa Rosa today and had a mexotrethate muscle shot . Jackson did great. He hasn't been throwing up like last time : )

I always put LMX on to numb his port site before I draw blood, and he used to still flinch, but lately, he doesn't even notice. One of the nurses told me his nerves are all probably dead in that spot. Fine with me! Doesn't surprise me at all. How much poking can one little patch of skin take!?

Love to you all! Six weeks to go!

-Jennifer

Thursday, February 5, 2004 2:00 PM CST

Had a mexotrethate muscle shot yesterday - only 6 more of those to go!

In two weeks, we go for our last LP and Bone Marrow. We are in the homestretch finally!!

Started taking the 6MP pills again, and he seems a little tired, but no throwing up this time! Yeah! Been keeping up with the anti-nausea meds round the clock, only problem with that is it causes headaches : ( Guess you can't win them all ; )
Love, Jennifer & Jackson

Wednesday, January 28, 2004 9:23 PM CST

Had our second to last spinal chemo today! Doing okay, fussy because his hip and back are sore from the Lumbar Puncture and Bone Marrow asipiration. Still his smiling little self though! Had Vincristine too, makes the jaw quite sore. Keeping up the Tylenol : )

Only 8 weeks to go! So excited, but so SCARED to stop treatment. God, please let my baby stay well.

Special thanks to my wonderful friend, Karina for her constant guestbook postings, it means a lot to us that you let Jackson know you are thinking of him.

It is so touching to me to read the sweet words from everyone (mostly people I don't even know!) in the guestbook. You all have helped me through the hardest time in my life : )

Check out the new pictures!

-Jennifer

Thursday, January 15, 2004 9:25 PM CST

Back from the City - Jackson did great! It was actually a lower dose than previous times, so no throwing up : )

Hard to be in the hospital though, we see the kids we have gotten close to not doing well, and it breaks my heart.

11 weeks to go!

Please pray Jackson does not break a fever, otherwise it's immediately back to the hospital we go, for a week : (

Thanks for all the prayers and positive thoughts!

-Jennifer

Tuesday, December 30, 2003 9:47 PM CST

Had chemo shot today. No more throwing up! It's been a week : ) Zofran works great!

Did a stool test for the diarrhea, so far nothing has come up. That is good.

Going in the second Saturday in January for our LAST 5 day hospital stay.

Happy New Year to all!

Love, Jennifer

Friday, December 26, 2003 10:19 PM CST

Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas! Ours was great, crossed our fingers for Jackson not to break a fever so we wouldn't have to go to the hospital and we lucked out : )

He has extreme diarrhea and vomiting lately. He's on anti-nausea medicine which works great, but the diarrhea the docs have kind of blown off. His tummy is also bloated. So I took him to his pediatrician and he immediately ordered a stool sample test. We'll see what turns out. I definitely think something is going on. I just hope it's nothing serious.

Heading to SF for our last (hopefully) 5 day stay of major chemo the first Sat. in January. Wish us luck.

Love to all!

Thursday, December 18, 2003 8:45 PM CST

Went to SF yesterday for a Lumbar Puncture and Bone Marrow. They inject three types of chemo into Jackson's spine. Bryan (my husband) was off work so he went with me, it was nice to have the extra help!

After he came out of recovery, we went over to the clinic for the vincristine. It causes jaw pain, but it seems to be not hurting this time : )

He is throwing up at least once a day (which is RARE for him!) We are calling him "Puke-Master 2003, Deluxe Model"! Hey, I've got to get my humor where I can these days! Poor thing, he runs right to the pantry to get more food after the throws up - all he knows is that his tummy is empty! He is so cute : ) Starting giving him meds for the nausea and it works great.

All else is well. Going in the first week in January for our LAST 5 day hospital stay!!! - 5 days of Cytoxan and VP16 - yucky, yucky! Knowing it's the last hospital stay (knock on wood!) will get me through!

Love to all and Merry Christmas!!!!!!!

-Jennifer

Wednesday, December 3, 2003 7:16 PM CST

Hi!

Had a mexotrethate muscle shot today. Took it like a champ (as always!). Looking forward to Christmas. We drove around last night looking a Xmas lights and Jackson was just in awe! He was pointing and saying "Ooohhh!!" It was adorable : )

Not much else going on. Don't have any hospital time until Jan 2. (Knock on wood!)

Love to all!

Thursday, November 20, 2003 2:26 PM CST

Yesterday Auntie and I took Jackson to San Francisco for his treatment.

He was put under anesthesia and then had 3 different chemo drugs instered into this spine. Then they took a bone marrow sample from the marrow in his hip. They do this periodically to check to make sure he is still in remission.

After he woke up, we walked over to the clinic to have more chemo. A does of Vincristine. Side effects include hair loss, jaw pain, intestinal problems, loss of appetite, and poor brain function.

He is a little fussy today, and he is pulling at his face, so I can tell his poor little jaw is sore. I am sure his lower back is sore from the lumbar puncture and the bone marrow.

Such a trooper though - still his smiling funny self!

Thursday, November 20, 2003 1:54 PM CST

Hi,

Hope everyone enjoys this page. I thought it would be a good way to keep you all updated on how Jackson is doing.

First a little history....Jackson was diagnosed with high-risk Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia on April 8, 2003. He was 7 months old at the time.

I had a feeling deep down something was very wrong with my baby. He was pale and very sleepy. Then he developed a bump on top of his head, a biposy later proved the bump to be cancerous.

The day of the biopsy, the dermatologist mentioned his color was not good and sent us down to our pediatrician and he then ordered blood work. At 6:30 the next morning, we got a call instructing us to get Jackson to the emergency room immediately. We took him to Santa Rosa Kaiser and they ambulanced us to San Francisco Kaiser.

The rest seemed to fly by in fast-forward, his hemoglobin (red blood) level was 3 - normal would be between 11 - 14. His white count was 40k. They kept saying they were very worried about him.

We were in the hospital from that day until the beginning of May. It was so hard to spend his first Easter there!

We are now 7 months into his treatment. We have 17 weeks to go! He is part of a study group testing a shorter, more intense chemo treatment. (The traditional treatment is 3 1/2 years and with that treatment, 60% of infants still relapse.) His oncologists believe this new study treatment is his best chance of a cure with no relapse.

There is a picture of Jackson's port (a catheter in his chest) in the photo album. We use it to draw all his blood and give him all his IV chemo through. I access it with a 22 gauge (big) needle with IV tubing attached. I numb him with some cream first, he does really well - mostly he just hates to be held down! Then we tape the site up so he doesn't pull the line out! (Which he has done several times before!!) He first had a Broviac, (there is also a picture of that) it is a catheter as well, but it has two lines and is partially outside the body. (He thought it was a fun toy to pull on!) Once we found out he would do the chemo instead of needing a bone marrow transplant right away, they decided to take out the broviac and give him a port instead. It is much better!

Jackson is doing amazingly well. They told us he may never walk or talk - and he is doing both very well! We know he will most likely never be able to have children, and that was hard to get over. But we realize we have to do whatever we can to save him. Please keep our baby in your thoughts and prayers : )

Wednesday, November 19, 2003 8:49 PM CST

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