History

Monday, September 21, 2009 12:02 AM CDT

Hey all!!
Barney had liver surgery Dec 3rd at MD Anderson Houston (just in time for the snow & ice they had! wow!) and he asked me to put his website on here for you to check on his updates...
www.caringbridge.org/visit/barneyhampton

Hope everyone is having a grand Christmas season ... you are the best gifts ever!! Love to all!!

Only By His Grace - Trish

Sept 21, 2009
Hey our sweet peeps!!! And can you believe today our Angel Emma Grace would be 9?!?!? Really??? Whew ... whatta ride!

In honor of our Angel, we are having "Pink n Purple Day" at the pediatric dental office with our galz wearing PnP scrubs plus we're giving our kiddos balloons after each appointment. Dr. Ward even got in on the action wearing a purple plaid shirt!! Go Doc! Let's just say, this office is full of PINK N PURPLE today ...

I do believe I'm going to Sonic today for one of Emma Grace's all-time favorites ... corndogs (with the breading taken off of course) and cheddar bites. Yum! Yum!

Well ... gotta run, just want to tell you all you bless our hearts more than you will EVER know! In the midst of all the great memories, we can't help but include the marvelous friendships God blessed us with in you. Thank you so much!!

Now ... Can you only imagine how gloriously grand the birthday parties are in Heaven?!?!?! I just bet there's some serious dancin going on!!!!

Only, and I mean ONLY by His Grace - Momma Trish

Friday, June 19, 2009 6:29 AM CDT

Hey Peeps!!! Do not faint & fall over but we're still here!! I just couldn't believe it had been THREE MONTHS since my last update ... oops! Sorry ...

Well now ... where shall I start?? It is going to be short and sweet (or maybe not! Ha!) cuz work is beckoning but speaking of - work doesn't even seem like "work". The pediatric dental office, Dr. Ward & Dr. Massey, where I work is really busy but I get to play with kiddos all day and meet some really great families. Of course, I run into folks I haven't seen in years and even parents that I used to work on their teeth in Lincoln when they were kids. (Now, that part makes me feel really old! smile!) But we have a great time! Dr. Ward and the gals I work with are incredible ... maybe I have said this before but every Monday morning we start our week with office biz then prayer requests. Dr. Ward is dedicated to this practice being God's light and treating God's children. I knew this is where He wanted me and it has been confirmed over and over again this past year. Not to mention one of the best blessings is getting to work with one of my dearest, best friends Denise aka "Niecy" - you know "Wumpy's" wife as Emma Grace called him. (Remember, he used to bring her "pink chocolate milk" really strawberry milk because it was her favorite!! smile) She and I started our dental years together back in 1982 and God has nurtured that friendship into more than I could ask for or deserve. Isn't it amazing how God has that BIG picture in front of Him and we couldn't fathom what He has planned for us?? Amazing ... just amazing.

Ok ... ready for the BIG NEWS??? Well, some of you may have already heard but our little, big man Eli has passed his initial exam and has joined the Air Force!!!! WHEW!! Not sure that one has sunk in yet!!! He is now officially a 2010 Senior and has signed up for the delayed entrance program aka "DEPS". He will proceed with the medical evals then head off for basic in San Antonio next June after graduation. (Let's start praying now he stays focused to graduate!! LOL) This whole discussion initially started about a year ago and I told him he would probably change his mind 1400 times before he's a senior. Well, the subject resurfaced about 2 months ago and I asked him to tell me why he felt this is what he wants. I was humbly assured with his reply. He answered, "Mom, we could get grants that we don't have to pay back for my education but it's still going to cost alot of money each month to send me to college. This way I can get my education and if I decide to get out in 6 yrs, I have good skills and my education. But if I decide to stay in, I have a good life and career." Now ... could I disagree? Nope ... I didn't hesitate because he's right. He asked if I would go talk to the cruiter that week and we did. Now, he has a whole new wind in his sails. As I sat there listening to Eli's responses to Sgt. Cox, I realized this child (ok lil Man) has really thought this through - as much as a 17 y/o mind can - and this isn't just something he thought up overnite. He had done his homework and seemed really composed with his calm conviction of what he wants. He would like to get into avionic mechanics - planes, choppers - he's always enjoyed the "gearhead" part of whatever he's doing.

Well ... I have to admit although I always thought he would be around to take care of his ever crazy Mom, but I am humbly proud of him taking such control of getting his education. Being in the single Mom status, he has not only thought of his future but a way to take control of reality for both of us. He is growing up way more than I ever could imagine. So ... I guess not only will I be an "Angel Mom" now will be an "Angel Mom with Air Force Wings". Can’t help but think Eli’s sweet Sissy is just as proud of her Bubby … ya think she will be keeping close tabs on him?? (smile!)

And if that couldn’t be enough … the crazy kid has been riding bulls in the rodeos this season!!! I keep telling him he’s too stinkin tall to be a bullrider. Maybe if he could wrap those 6 foot 4 legs around the bull twice he could stay on longer. I might as well not fight it becuz he seems to be having a great time and I could care less if he makes the 8 seconds. Just as long as he doesn’t get hurt, that’s a GOOD ride in Momma’s book!!
Ok .. now you have something else to pray about! Do you see my hair getting grayer by the second?!?!?!?!?

Many of you have asked and I want to share an email I received from Barney this morning regarding his treatments. Also, I want to list his email addy as I’m sure he wouldn’t mind not to mention, I know he would appreciate the encouragement. He is having to go thru more treatments and probably looking at more surgery. I’m attaching his email with recent update.

**** Hello to all, Finally got to talk to the drs last thursday. Sorry for the delay but we made a trip to the bootheel of Mo. The report is; The tumor in my lung did not absorb any of the Isotop from the PET scan which means it is not an active tumor. There has been a shadow in my liver since the CT we did in january and now we know that it is an active tumor. It is roughly an inch in size. So now that we know where everything is I start IV chemo on the 26th of june. One day I V followed by 14 days oral chemo to try and shrink the tumor. Will do this for 2 rounds then back to Houston for an MRI the middle of aug and then see Dr Vauthey. He is the surgeon that did my first liver surgery. Dr Kopetz was not sure surgery was an option until Dr Vauthey reviewed the scan and said as long as everything stays as is we can do surgery. Surgery will be sometime the end of sept or the first of oct as long as everything goes as planned.

***Thank you for your prayers; Barney mtwagon@yahoo.com

We had a 4th year “Angelversary” Annual Balloon lift off at the Angel Garden on June 6th. It is sucha comfort to me and as difficult as you would think … it’s very important for me to recognize the day she became fully WHOLE!! I look forward to the day of seeing her again but til then God has us here to complete our journeys.

Okie doke … thank you so much for your love and prayers … again, my apologies for sucha long delay in updates. We love you all bunches and are ever grateful God has blessed us with your friendships!! You all are the best!!! Look for the rainbows because not only do I think our sweet Emma Grace is head of the Dance Committee, on the Welcome Wagon at the Pearly Gates, I think she has talked God into letting her paint some beautiful rainbows along with some breathtaking sunrises and sunsets!!! Those are my true glimpses of Heaven!! Thank you again sweet ones!!!

Only and I mean, ONLY by His Grace – Trish aka AngelMom / AirForce Mom

Thursday, March 12, 2009 9:42 AM CDT

WHOO HOOO!!! Thank you for your prayers for my little man ... his surgery went very well and they were able to remove the tumor in a "clean sweep" WITHOUT removing the end of his toe!!! He is recovering well but has to stay down the remainder of week and weekend.
Thanks again and love you all bunches!!
Momma Trish

Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Just a quick note & HOWDY to all!!!

All is well with us … with the small exception that Mr. Eli has a benign, (can we all say BENIGN???) tumor on his middle toe, right foot. He is having outpatient surgery tomorrow morning at 8:15 and should recover well in 3-4 weeks. They are going to have to remove the end of his toe due to the size of the tumor, better known as an osteochondroma – very common but its cause is unknown. In the grand scheme of things, it could be growing a whole new toe or foot for that matter as long as they use the term “benign” in the same sentence … the rest is just details.

And Eli … he’s just fine with the whole thing. We found out last Friday what was up with what we thought to be a strange callus. He was more concerned about missing work & football than he was about having part of his toe removed. (smile)

Anywhoooooo … other than that all is pretty peachy in our world. Eli had his Jr. Prom last Saturday night – black cowboy hat & tux with a camo vest & tie (go figure! Lol!!) But even though I’m prejudice he was quite handsome all spit-shined up. He seems to be pretty sweet on this gal named Kelly but we all know how that can change in a minute’s notice.

Well … hope all is well with everyone – thank you for your continued prayers and support but most of all, your unconditional love & friendships. May God’s blessings surround you and we thank Him always for you!!!

Only by His Grace – Trish & Eli

PS ... from what I understand, Barney is doing well. Thank you for your continued thoughts & prayers for him.

Monday, December 29, 2008 8:22 AM CST

Hello Sweet Peeps - Hope you had a blessed Christmas and looking forward to a grand New Year!!

I could send the ultimate of apologies for being so lax in updating but it would be the same you have heard over and over and OVER again! (smile) Since changing positions at the pediatric dental office mid October, my time has become even more limited than before ... (didn't think that could be possible but then again I have learned it to be true). I LOVE my new job ... working with children everyday has given me a new lease on life. It sounds strange I know but it blesses my heart beyond words. I don't know if I shared this in the past or not but our Dr. Ward - who is an amazing Christian man - worked and is great friends with our Dr. Chris Rowland at St. Jude. There were many things that confirmed this is where God wanted me but that was probably the icing on the cake. Every Monday morning we start the week with a quick staff meeting to fine tune how to improve our daily tasks but most of all we take prayer requests, praises and focus on treating God's children in a way that will only honor Him. Yes, being back in dentistry in great but working with His children is a tremendous blessing that I never thought I could have done. And God knew ... the timing was right ... certainly two years ago this would NOT have been the right position for me.

Needless to say, there is lots to catch up on but I'm going to attempt to put it all in a nutshell.

Eli is doing great ... that little man has now hit a whomping 6'4" and 210#. I keep reminding him no matter how big he gets, I'm STILL 10 times as mean. (So far my bluff is still in but I'm certain my days are numbered. LOL!) He is working on a local farm for a friend of ours and is loving it!! There is a "sweetie" of the month on the hook and yet we still keep the phone lines hot with "just friends, Mom". He is spending this week with his father enjoying his Christmas break from school.

I often am reminded of how very blessed I am ... and Eli is my constant "leveling gauge". There are many times I guess I could choose to focus on the "whys" and trust me those days will continue for the rest of my life. It seems as the days go by I find that I miss Emma Grace alittle more yet when I see how she impacted not only me but especially her bubba, and countless others I know I've yet to meet, I realize her purpose was completely fulfilled. Her glimpses from Heaven are in every amazing sunrise, sunset, (which I think God allows her and her precious friend to paint) and every breathtaking night which I feel the stars are ever brighter. The laughter, memories, joys and even tears become more priceless in my heart knowing how incredibly yet humbly blessed I am as the Mother of two amazing children. So on those days arrive with clouds that just don't want to fade ... Eli will say or do something I can't even fathom from a sixteen year old's mind - it comes from the heart of a little man that is wise beyond his years. And that my friends is nothing but grace - a gift straight from God not earned or deserved.

I guess my summary would be as I have said for three years now ... in retrospect of how the journey travels, I wouldn't change a single thing. And as always, God's plan is perfect. We can't comprehend at times but one day all things will be made crystal clear because that's how much He loves us.

Ok ... I'm not sure I've conveyed precisely what my heart feels but often there aren't words. And you are one of the many precious gifts my I treasure in my heart. I am completely unworthy yet eternally thankful God has shared each one of you with me.

Many of you know our precious Mimi Sharyn, Sarah Claire's grandmother. God placed this precious family in our path the 2nd day we arrived at St Jude and what an overwhelming blessing they are to us. Well, Mimi Sharyn has been diagnosed with breast cancer and what was once thought as being contained has now been found to be not so contained and they had to perform a second surgery Dec 23rd. Her spirits are high and her faith is just as amazing as she is. Please pray for her upcoming treatments to conquer the beast who has once again affected her and her family. It's one of those questions that will be made clear one day.

Also and as always, please continue to pray for our many, many St Jude families who are facing each day with their Angel in Heaven, whose Angels are still gracing us on this earth each day and for those who are in the midst of the battle walking the halls of St Jude as we speak. One day our Team at St Jude will make the breakthrough needed to combat and treat this nasty beast. I pray that day is not far around the corner.

Thank you again for your compassion, (your patience - ha!), your friendships and for your unconditional love. You cannot know nor can I describe what is in our hearts for you. May your New Year be graced with His loving protection and many jewels in your crown for the love you show not only to my family but all those around you.

Only by His grace - Trish & Eli

Saturday, September 27, 2008 8:39 PM CDT

I would like to thank everyone for the prayers and ask that the prayers continue. I was at M D Anderson Thursday and Friday repeating scans and blood work. After all the test were done, and reports read, I met with Dr. Kopetz. The news was not what we wanted to hear. In July there were two spots found. One in the abdomen which was a spot of concern for the doctors and a small spot in my left lung which they felt certain was nothing to worry about. It turns out that the spot in my lung has almost doubled in size and the other one has stayed the same. Saying it doubled is really misleading as it is not even as big as a pencil eraser at this time. Dr Kopetz said that we did not have to get aggressive but we do have to do something. That something will be a P.E.T. SCAN followed with a two weeks on, one week off oral chemo regimen until scans are repeated again in December. Not the news that was hoped for, but news that can and will be accepted.

James W. Moore wrote in his book “SIEZING THE MOMENTS” Jesus knew who he was; Jesus was God’s Son, who had come to show us that we are Gods children.

He knew where he was going; Jesus had a sense of purpose, and as a result, he had tremendous power.

He knew who was with him; (After studying Hebrew for several years the Old Testament scholar Martin Buber came to the conclusion that we have mistranslated Exodus 3:14. Instead of being translated “I Am who I Am,” Buber believed that it should read: “I Shall Be There!” Isn’t that beautiful? The name of God is I Shall Be There!

When we face the troubles of this world, the name of God is I Shall Be There. When we are frightened or lonely or depressed, the name of God is I Shall Be There. When we face sickness, heartache, or even death, the name of God is I Shall Be There. When we must go to a cross, The name of God is I Shall Be There. And when we are laid out in tombs, the name of God id I Shall Be There. And when Easter morning comes, the name of God is I Shall Be There.)

Jesus knew that. That’s why he was so strong. He knew who he was. He knew where he was going. And he knew who was with him. Do we?

Truly Blessed
Emma Graces Daddy

Thursday, Sept 4, 2008 3:17 PM CDT

Hey everyone ... quick note - Daddy aka "Poppa" is having surgery today (finally) to pin & plate his ankle & leg. He has had the external frame & pins since Aug 18th and I know he's ready to get this behind him. Please say an extra prayer that all goes well so he can finally get on the road to recovery.

Also, please remember Mimi Sharyn's family in Greenville, MS who are experiencing severe flooding. Her sister's house is completely flooded and her Mom's house has water into her den. We're all looking for the rainbow ...

Also, please remember my dear friend Darlene & family who are facing a battle ... God knows & is in full control.

We love you all dearly & thank you for your friendship & faithfulness to lift our prayers to the Lord.

Only By His Grace - Trish

Update: Tues, Aug 19th
Hello to ALL!!!
I guess it goes without saying that things have been nutz in my world ... in the past 5 days it went even FAR BEYOND nutz. So, in keeping with that same "nutty" theme ... here it is in a nutshell.

Last Thursday Eli, his friend Stanley, Mom & Daddy were sorting & loading cows and cows pushed against gate knocking down my Daddy breaking his left leg right about the ankle. They called the ambulance as his foot was dislocated and unable to stand. Once getting him to the ER, they reset his foot and they decided to let the swelling subside then do surgery in about 7 days. Well, Dr. Henley checked him again on Sunday deciding the that surgery needed to be boosted up for Monday a.m. due to the bruising, etc and it needed to be fixed with plates & pins. Once they got him into surgery, the swelling had not reduced enough and they had to pin & frame externally still needing to do the internal surgery hopefully, this Thursday or Friday. Please pray for
Daddy as his young age of 75 has him at a challenge for healing quickly and navigating as well. Not to mention, he is not the best at "staying down". Also, please pray for Momma as she tends to him in keeping him "monitored" by abiding by the Dr's rulings. (smile) Staying in bed with foot/leg elevated for the majority of the day is definitely as task to say the least. I'm thankful that Eli &
Stanley were with Daddy during the accident as they had to lift him and I'm certain Mom would not been able to manage him by herself.

Eli is in high gear ... school started yesterday, his chickens & heifer arrived safely at the fair Sunday & Monday which he will be involved all week. He's quite the busy 16 yr old and loving every minute of it. Can't say I blame him as these are certainly years to be cherished.

I wish I could elaborate more but I'm taking a quick break at work ... we are getting new computer systems and are in a 4 day training (yikes...add that to the list. ha!)

We love you all bunches and thank you so much for love & prayers ... you all are the best. Please keep Daddy in prayers for the swelling to subside in order to get this surgery phase behind him. ... and yes, Mom. Thanks again!!!

Only By His Grace - Trish

July 26, 2008:
Maya had surgery on tuesday as planned. She spent that night in ICU and was put in regular room on wednsday. On thursday Daddy Mark called me and said "WE ARE OUT OF HERE, WE ARE ON OUR WAY TO THE HOUSE" The drs released her to come home two days after brain surgery.THANK YOU LORD and thank you too all of the BELIEVERS that have been praying for Maya

PRAYER REQUEST: There is a little 4yr old name Maya Vann from Stilwell Okla that will be having brain surgery on Tuesday the 29th in Okla City. Her momma and Daddy are friends of mine and have ask that Maya be lifted in prayer every chance we have to do so. The drs say it is a cyst located between her right eye and her right temple that has been giving her sever head aches.

Our friend Kristy Lieck from Port Allen La had lymph nodes removed on Tuesday this week and went home from the hospital today. The lymph nodes were around the thyroid area and have been enlarged for sometime. They thought she would have surgery earlier this spring but the surgeon wanted to wait and see if they would shrink by themselves. Kirsty was at St Jude when we first got there with Ewing Sarcoma and last year had to have her thyroid removed. Kristy and the family now have to wait until the first of the week for the biopsy report. Please remember this family with prayer as well.

After scans yesterday and seeing the dr today the official word is "WE WILL TAKE A WAIT AND SEE ATTUIDE." It seems that there is a lymph node on the left side between the kidney and the aorta that is enlarged almost twice the normal size. Dr Kopeck said we can do a biopsy if I want to or we can wait and rescan in 60 days. He was encouraged that the liver is clear and does not really want to get too aggressive at this time.

Thank you and through it all we can still say,
GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME

Blessed
Emma Graces Daddy

Wednesday, July 9, 2008 3:17 PM CDT

First and foremost ... our little St Jude Sister, Tori from Orlando was involved in a serious car accident Friday night resulting in head trauma. From all indications of MRI done recently, Tori has "shearing" of the brain which is the same type of damage caused with Shaken Baby Syndrome. Tori is not conscience but has responded a few times. Please lift our sweet girl in prayer as well as her family. The primary concern is for God to protect and heal her little head. Tori has been cancer free from leukemia for almost 3 yrs and she is quite the little fighter. God knows all about it and we are praying for Him to take full charge in Sweet Tori's healing ... He is able, Our God is able.

Thank you so much for lifting them in prayer ... you can visit them at cb.org/fl/tori. I know they would love to hear from you ...

Shake 4 Jake was AWESOME ... will update more later. Love to all .. you all are the best ~ no doubt from the east to the west!!!

Only By His Grace - Trish

Tuesday, June 24th:
Two Quick Things (maybe 3 ~ smile!) ... but first & foremost, HELLO MY SWEET PEEPS!!

Don't forget the 2nd Annual Shake for Jake Event is this Saturday, June 28th. Check out cb/la/jakeowen for the specific details ... my focus is to get my work week behind me and GET TO WEST MONROE!!! We are staying the whole weekend and I can't wait!!! It's been too long and we are so looking forward to this great event...hope to see you there!!!

Also, please remember Eli and the 40 something youth who are in South Texas on a mission trip building houses and having a VBS for the community. Eli has been SO looking forward to this trip again which is his 3rd yr to participate. I'm so thankful God has blessed him with such a sweet spirit of service. Also, please pray not only for safety, safe travels but that God's light with radiant in a powerful, mighty way to those they are ministering to in their path.

Snickers (our / "my" chocolate lab) and I took our daily walk this morning which sometime leads to more "dragging" me than walking ~ ha! But as the sun was trying to peak over the horizon I had the blessing of the most gorgeous sunrise ... the most breathtaking fushias, lavenders, blues & light pinks. It was an "in my face & heart" reminder that we serve a gracious mighty God who created this amazing beauty because that's how much He loves us. If we enjoy such gradeur here on earth, can you just imagine what He has waiting for us in Heaven???? As hard as I try, I just can't get my head around it but my heart can't wait.

Enjoy your day and know that we love you more than you'll ever know ... we are so thankful for His blessing of you!

Only By His Grace - Trish

QUIK NOTE & INVITATION TO MISS EMMA GRACE'S ANGEL-VERSARY BALLOON LIFT OFF ...
Just wanted to let you know we will be meeting Friday, 6pm at the AngelGarden in Prairie Grove in honor of Emma Grace's 3rd Angel-versary. We will provide the pink & purple balloons to shower the skies for our girl. Pretty amazing how time can slip through our fingertips in one breath yet move at a snail's pace ... (yes, I STILL have no concept of time - no big surprise, eh??). The greatest thing is Emma Grace & all her sweet friends REALLLLLY do not have "TIME" anymore and in a blink we'll be joining them.
Everyday is just one day closer ...
Come join us if you can ... love to all.
Only By His Grace - Trish

May 21, 2008 UPDATE:
And ... HELLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO to you all!!!

Apologies first for taking so stinkin long to update ... it has been quite wild to say the least. We are doing just fine with lots going on ... or did you already figure that out. I certainly am not qualifying for the "Journal Updater of the Year" award. (smile!!)

Eli is blowing & going at a high rate of speed .. he recently won a beautiful black angus heifer at the Spring Cattle show and is getting her trained to show at the fair this year. It's a daily event of leading, brushing, and keeping her tame. I think she has become the latest pet. But then again, we also have leghorn hens which he is also showing at the fair this year for FFA. Did I mention he has 25??? And his buddy Cody has 25??? AND THEY ARE ALL IN MY BACKYARD?!?!?!?!? ha!! I swore that I'd never raise another chicken again in my life after growing up in the world of chicken houses as a kid but we'll eat our words pretty quick for our children now won't we?? Anyway, we have a backyard coop and the chickens are growing quite well. The great thing is come summer they will be laying eggs and there's nothing better than farm fresh eggs. But Eli seems to become quite the little mini farmer/caretaker and it's been an adventure to say the least.

Well ... and if you can believe it, I have physically left the world of trucking - my heart will always be there but when you have diesel fuel in your veins that's a given. But God opened a door without my knowing I even needed "a door" isn't it funny how He works that way??? The office is closer to the house, less hours and great benefits. I'm actually back into the dental profession after being away for over 15 yrs and believe it or not, a PEDIATRIC dental office working in the front office. It's alot of fun plus I'm working with my friend Denise again after all these years. I really miss my peeps at the trucking company but of course, am keeping in touch with them.

Eli & I are headed to Memphis for a quick trip this weekend to go to church & have dinner with Nancy, Bobby, Laura, Janice, Rev & Dr. Ray. It's bittersweet to say the least as Dr. Ray is moving to NC taking a great position at Duke University Hospital. He's such a wonderful friend and we are sure going to miss him in Memphis and especially, St Jude. It has certainly been way too long in seeing the rest of the crew so we are excited.

Barney is doing really well, back working and is in remission. I believe his next check up with MD Anderson won't be for another couple of months but he's doing really well.

Eli & I are looking forward to going to the 2nd Annual Shake 4 Jake - what a hoot of a time it will be and also, getting to see so many of our precious friends. Can't Wait!!

Well ... I better get back to work ... you all are so precious & oh so patient, I might add ... my heart is overwhelmed with the friendships God had all planned out with you. May He surround you in His Sonshine & shower you with His blessings!

We love you more than you'll ever know ... You all are the best of the bestest!!!!

Only By His Grace - Trish

Monday, February 11, 2008 4:55 PM CST

HELLOOOOOOOOO CREW!!!!

Believe it or not ... I did not fall off the face of the earth but I think I've seen it!! So, sorry for the delay in posting and thank you for your gentle nudgings and down right "WHERE ARE YOU??" entries and emails. They are all justified concerns and again, it's just more life getting in the way than I'd like to admit.

This is going to be pretty brief as I'm still at work trying to wrap the Monday up ... we let the home phone aka the internet go on the homefront as we use the cell phones as our primaries so updating from home isn't an option. It just seemed silly to pay for a landline just to have the net. Anyway ...

Work is good but WILD and has been for the past couple of months ... Eli is good and getting more grown up as the days go by. He turned Sweet 16 on Feb 3rd which he was welcomed by the flu that is going rampid in these parts. He's much better now but didn't hardly budge off the couch for two days.

As most of you know, Sweet Madelyn earned her Angel wings on Feb 2nd. Bless her brave little heart ... I'm quite sure she is romping & stomping Heaven with her many St Jude siblings who were welcoming her at the Gates. Please remember the Beamon family in your prayers.

Also, please remember our St Jude friend, Kristi Leick is back into treatment as her cancer has reared it's head again. The Team feels it is treatable but just the nervewrecking concern they are having to deal with it once more.

Again, thanks so much for your precious concerns, your friendships and most of all your prayers. You can never know what treasures you are to us ... we thank God for you always.

Only By His Grace - Trish

ps ... sorry the song has "disappeared". I have some folks working on it. Since it is not a "published" song, it isn't an easy find & upload situation. Hopefully, we will have it fixed soon.

Thursday, December 27, 2007 3:42 PM CST

Just a quick note to say hello to all and hoping your blessings of this Christmas season are carrying you thru the upcoming New Year. We all have so much to be thankful for and especially, the ultimate gift above all gifts - Jesus. He's the Perfect Gift that keeps on giving!

Our Christmas went well ... of course, we stayed busy which just seems to "coast" me thru the holidays but that's the best way I handle them. Eli and I both were blessed more than we deserve ... and it's so good to get to spend time with family. As you will see in the updated photo album, Eli & I had pix made for Nana & Poppa's Christmas surprise. My brother Chuck & SisNLaw, Kellye took a set of photos at the Battlefield Park late in November. I'm surprised that Eli & I were both able to keep a secret that long. (smile) Needless to say, they love the collage we put together for them and yes, they were surprised.

Please keep all our sweet St Jude families in prayer, especially those who have Angels as the holidays are difficult no matter how much time has elapsed. Also, please keep Little Miss Madelyn & family in prayer as they bravely face each precious day together. I know they would appreciate a note of encouragement if you get the opportunity. www.caringbridge.org/tn/madelyn

Here's wishing you all a very blessed New Year and know we love you more than you'll ever know.

Only By His Grace - Trish

Barney's Update - Thursday, Dec 20th:
And the good news is; After all test results and scan pictures were reviewed the AWESOME answer is CANCER FREE. There is a spot on my spleen but the Drs. feel very strongly that it is a cyst and nothing to worry about.

So with that being said all I can do is say THANK YOU LORD. I do love it when he shows up and shows off.

I have no idea how many people have been praying for me thru out this fight but I would like to take the time to thank everyone of you who have offered prayers on my behalf. I know from the many months of chemo and going thru the surgeries that prayer does work and can be felt even when it is least expected. THANK YOU is all I can say at this time.

Blessed beyond belief
ANGEL EMMA GRACES DADDY

Tuesday, December 18, 2007 6:27 AM CST

I do read the guest book, I just never put anything on here but today it just feels right to do a short entry so for those who are wondering how I am doing here goes.

I have finished all 12 rounds of chemo on the 7TH of Dec. I made it thru without the severe side effects. I am on my way to Houston for a visit at MD Anderson. I will do blood work this afternoon and CT scan late this evening. Will follow up with the Dr. Vaughty who did my surgery in the morning and then meet with Dr. Kopeck tomorrow aftrnoon to get the results of the scans. Will let everyone know the results as soon as I can. Thank you for all of the prayers. Angel Emma Graces Daddy

Wednesday, November 14, 2007 12:38 AM CST

Okie Dokie ... DON'T FAINT & FALL OVER!!! Two entries in TWO WEEKS?!?!?! Shooo doggies ... I'm on a roll, eh???

This is really going to be short and sweet ... As you know the St Jude Marathon is upon us Dec 1st to be exact and true to my history, I'm a day late and a dollar short as the ole saying goes. We are still participating in the 3rd Annual Grace Race Team at the race but I slipped in getting the donation website set up. So ... being "MaSista" Chris, aka Christal's Mommy, is so WITH IT and is ON THE STICK, she has graciously offered to combo, if you will, Christal's St Jude Marathon website with us. Basically, all the money goes in one hopper for our St Jude kiddos and since I'm lagging behind, (and this is a quick easy fix) you can still donate in Emma Grace's honor. I would love to see them hit their goal of $25,000!! They're already at over $18,000 ... shut up!!! Great job Christal's Crew!!! So, I'm adding the link to the above entry if you would like to donate, we thank you for adding to Christal's Crew totals. Here's a great pic of our girls ...

We are looking so forward to seeing our St Jude Families again and for this wonderful event to raise money for The Jude. Here's a pic from last year's race of Staci Raborn and I seeing each other for first time since both our kids became Angels ... and I'm thinking it just doesn't need an explanation ...

The Hollywood Casino / St Jude Red Carpet Bash was a huge success!! Their goal this year was $100,000 ... the live auction alone raised over $80,000!! WHOO HOOO!! Needless to say, they hit their mark plus! Thank you so much for your prayers ... it was an honor to share Emma Grace's story and God just led the way on what to say. We had a great time and again, thank you for your prayers. You all are the best ... we love you bunches!!

Only By His Grace - Trish

Friday, November 2, 2007 7:17 AM CDT

Hey Sweet Peeps! I really haven’t fallen off the edge of the world or the ledge or anything that resembles such just been busier than a cranberry merchant. (how’s that for an ole fashioned saying??) Yet you all are so sweet & faithful to keep checking in on us even though I keep dropping the ball on updates. Sorry … again, no excuses just life and a busy one at that. First … thank you for your compassionately concerned emails and gentle nudging … you all are the best … hands down, the best.

Eli is staying busy with football, school and work. The regular season is coming to a close and possibly in the running for playoffs. We’ll see after Friday night. They’ve had a good season and when they are pretty far ahead, Eli has been seeing playing time. Being a sophomore they are getting the feel of doing more supporting than playing time but that will change. I keep telling him that’s how we all played sports.

Last week he passed his driving portion of his permit ... it goes without saying, LET'S ALL SAY EXTRA PRAYERS IN THAT AREA!!! I'm proud of him though it reminds me once again how he's growing up more and more each day.

Eli actually had the privilege of delivering the message at my folks church on Oct 7th. His sermon was on “Being the Salt of the Earth”. He did a great job … he thought it was too short and I reminded him that if he delivered what God had laid on his heart, there is no set time frame. He shared about God using us in His will as Christians – being salt with savour rather than losing our focus in what God has in store for us and utilizing us to build His kingdom. Ok, so I’m paraphrasing but that’s what I got from his message. I sat there amazed yet humbled that God has gifted Eli with such insight not to mention the boldness to stand for Him sharing the Word. Wow … just wow!

I had the blessing of getting to see Mrs. Fay and meet her precious husband, Harold last Monday. They were visiting in the area and we got to spend well, let’s say “quality” but not “quantity” of time together. They plan on coming back sometime in the future which I’ll be looking forward to but it sure was nice to hugs necks while they were here. What a blessing they are and such a precious couple that I’ve gotten attached thru in our journey.

Now going back into some serious “archives” I just want to say the “Deeper Still” women’s retreat in Nashville was so awesome. I’m thankful God worked out all the fine details for us to experience such a wonderful series of meetings. I still am feasting on being “in the crossroads” and making the full commitment to follow what God has in store for our lives. I’m so guilty of letting life and the responsibilities that go along with providing for Eli and me get in the way of what God wants me to do. Our group of Sisters are such a blessing to me and again, I know that God placed each one of us in each other’s life for a specific purpose … and of course, precisely at the time He knew would be perfect. I’m so thankful for the Momma’s I officially met for the first time as well as those Momma’s that we actually lived with or spent time with in Memphis. I know this entry is long overdue but you all have to know the time we spent together is nothing less than a priceless treasure to my heart and I love you all. I think the private prayer time we spent taking individual needs to our Father was nothing short of healing. We all needed to vocalize, share and let go of things that seem to try to consume us. I know I’m speaking as a whole but this is more directed to me. Just know, I love each one and continue to pray for you as we journey together though in different zip codes.

My folks and I are planning a trip to Tunica the weekend of the 10th as I’ve been ask to speak about our Angel for St Jude’s Red Carpet Bash. You all know that I feel so blessed for the opportunity to share and honor our precious girl and her friends but especially doing whatever it takes to bring in more funding for “My St Jude” as Emma Grace so lovingly called it. The missing pieces to the puzzle are still being matched and my prayer is one day soon the ultimate cure will be out there for all the childhood cancers aka the beast. Please pray for our travels and that God will give me just the right words to share with the folks attending this event. Eli is going with us but we are taking him by Nanny & Pa’s in Bryant to spend the weekend with them.

Well … for those who are interested and would like to plan, we are doing the 3rd Annual Grace Race at the St Jude Marathon on Dec 1st. You all won’t be surprised that I’ve yet to set up Emma Grace’s St Jude Hero website but I have contacted my sweet nephews on getting shirts ready for this year’s event. If you would like to join us, please contact me by email or phone. I’ll need shirt sizes, quantity, etc. Unlike MaSista Chris who is doing the half marathon again this year, I will be walking the 5K. It just seems to work with my agenda plus I can socialize along the way. (smile) Again, just let me know if you’d like to join us. We always have a great time in this funding raising event for The Jude.

Emma Grace’s Daddy is doing very well since his liver surgery. He’s doing chemo again every two weeks and returning to MD Anderson in December for tests and scans. The doctors have been very pleased with his progress and results of the surgery. Thank you for continuing to lift him in prayer.

Thank you again for your considerate patience, faithful prayers, love and especially your friendship. I appreciate your continuing to pray for my special unspoken request. Lately, it seems obstacles and distractions, ok ADVERSITY has clouded the view at times. But I know that God will make things clear in His time. I do appreciate your continued prayers. I thank God for you always … and pray His Sonshine surrounds you.

Only By His Grace – Trish

Friday, September 28, 2007 8:57 AM CDT

Well ... when my feet hit the floor this morning I thought "Today Madison Hope will arrive!!!" To my surprise when I checked in this morning, SHE'S ALREADY HERE!!!! WHOOO HOOO & HALLELUJAH!! Staci went into labor and that precious little girl has landed. From all reports, Momma & Madison are doing great! What a great way to start our Friday, eh??
Love to all the Raborn Crew ... and Welcome Sweet Madison Hope! You got some serious spoiling ahead of you girlie-girl!!
Only By His Grace - Trish

Monday:
As you all know, especially since Emma Grace's Heavenly graduation, I have found it difficult sometimes to "adopt" another child in this vast world of childhood cancer. I hesitate even saying that as I do not wish to sound cold or uncaring ~ that's certainly not the case but there are times I find I have to safeguard my emotions to a certain extent ... well, so much for that theory this time ... Ok .. so this is about the little girl, Gloria from Seattle, who I shared with you recently on Emma Grace's website. She is also a neuroblastoma child who has made an amazing impact on all those she engages directly or indirectly. I believe you'll agree when you read the heart of Jerry Brewer, the journalist who has been doing a series on Gloria, her family, her battle but most of all, their faith. What's amazing, especially in today's society is Jerry Brewer as well as the Seattle Times took a stand on sharing about the Strausses faith in God as well as his own. I just had to share this with you ... what a blessing. The Strausses did receive their ultimate miracle, just like we did with Emma Grace ... Gloria graduated to Heaven perfectly healed last Friday ... just in time to dance with Emma Grace for her birthday. And from what I've read in some of Jerry's journals about Gloria & her precious, spunky personality ... I'm just imagining that she & Emma Grace are two peas in a pod, having a BLAST of a girly time together ... wouldn't we love a peek??
Please lift the Strauss family in prayer as they face a difficult week and in the weeks / months to come.
This was in yesterday's Seattle Times ... I trust it will bless your heart as it does mine.
Only by His Grace - Trish

A prayer for Gloria | Gloria was more than just a story

By Jerry Brewer Seattle Times staff columnist

Gloria Strauss asked all the questions the first time we met. She was the journalist. Photographer Steve Ringman and I were the subjects, and she needed to know one main thing.

"Do you, like, write about and take pictures of stars?" Gloria asked.

No, we explained, not exactly.

"I've always wanted to be a star."

Five months later, after writing about Gloria's death Friday, I checked my e-mails.

"You made her a star," one reader wrote.

No, she was already a star. Guess that made us her paparazzi.

Because of Gloria's joyous life, I feel a part of something special. Something very real.

The series has been an authentic portrayal of one family's fight with cancer. Gloria succumbed to neuroblastoma, a confounding and vicious disease, but her family rejoices despite their sadness.

The Strausses exposed themselves in this series, and I did as well. In addition to writing the series published in the newspaper, I kept an online journal, sharing my innermost thoughts and feelings.

It's impossible to walk with someone, especially a child, battling illness and remain unmoved. I've seen reporters cry at their desks while writing stories. I've seen reporters disinterested, furious, shocked — every emotion you can imagine.

Our job is not to suspend our feelings. Our job is to suppress our emotions in order to tell unbiased stories. But in this series, the veil of detachment was removed. I allowed myself just to be a normal person telling a story.

From there, the Strauss family took over. I never felt like I was writing these stories; I felt more like I was arranging them. I've simply wanted to present their story, to put a mirror on them.

When we were determining how to do this series, I told an editor that these stories would define my tenure at The Seattle Times. I told the editor that you had to feel your way through the story, not just think it. I was right. The editor even told me so recently.

For the Strauss family, it took courage to open their hearts to us and thousands of readers. It was bold of Gloria's mother, Kristen, to reveal her belief that God told her he would heal Gloria and change the lives of many.

Those words framed the entire series. Gloria believed in this miracle until her last breath. Because of those words, the family never lost hope.

"I know I'm going to be a miracle," Gloria said at the end of our second interview.

I could have written this series many different ways. I could have focused on the medical side of this vexing disease. I could have focused on the suffering. I could have focused on how a father with a sick child, a wife with multiple sclerosis and six other children struggled as the family's only source of income.

But this had to be about faith.

If I had written about the experience any other way, I would have either ignored or de-emphasized the most pivotal part of the Strausses' lives.

As journalists, we document life. We talk about what our readers are talking about, represent how our readers are living.

I'm proud the newspaper had the confidence in me to write this much about religion. There were so many reasons not to — Seattle's too liberal, too unchurched, faith's too difficult to examine, and don't you have a sports column to write? — but we did it anyway.

In the end, the series leaves you with a conclusion that might be confusing to some. After believing she would receive a healing miracle, Gloria dies. But her family celebrates, declaring that heaven is the "ultimate healing." As a reader, you're left to decide whether you agree.

I've read e-mails of frustration and disappointment because people believed Gloria would survive cancer. But what frustrates some readers is what I like about the series.

What's the simplest definition of faith? It's confidence or trust in something. You have to choose to believe or not to believe. In faith, there is no definitive ending.

I'm so sad that Gloria is gone. She's helped me re-examine my own spirituality. She's helped me learn how to love better. She's shown me what true commitment is.

I never wanted this story to end. I wanted to write Part 46 of this series, Part 74, Part 119.

It wasn't just a story for me. It was therapy.

Gloria's father, Doug, says her greatest gift was her "commitment to a relationship with God through prayer." Gloria showed him the way. She showed everyone who would pay attention.

Doug and Kristen shared a story from the night before Gloria died. An attending doctor, who didn't know Gloria, prayed with the family. When they were done, the doctor said, "You are glorifying God, Gloria, on Earth."

The motto of Gloria's loved ones has always been "Glorified by Gloria."

This level of attention and dedication is a gift only children can provide.

"In this world, it's so hard to be pure when you get older," her father says.

As we age, we lose our innocence. We burden ourselves with meaningless chores, claiming they are important. We forget what really matters.

Over the next week, and with her funeral Thursday, everyone who met Gloria even for five minutes will share memories. She had that kind of impact.

My fondest personal memory came about two weeks ago.

After a prayer session in her hospital room, she painted my fingernails. Pink with rhinestones glued on top.

She was fighting just to breathe and would fall asleep at times while doing my nails, but she finished them with the help of Jennifer Vertetis, a close family friend.

"I only ask one thing," Gloria said softly upon finishing. "You have to wear them for at least a day. After that, all bets are off."

I asked her about people making fun of me.

"If they do," Gloria said, "tell them you did it for me."

Then she grabbed my hand and guided it toward a blow-by oxygen device that she was using for comfort.

I looked at her nervously. She smiled and said, "Your nails will dry faster if you use this."

Friday Sept 21st:

Glitter Generator

The Heavenly Celebrations must be an incredible sight!!
Dance Sweet Baby Girl Dance!!
Happy 7th Birthday ... Emma Grace.
I love more than Momma's heart can ever say!!

ok ... so this makes me laugh and Emma Grace thought Jim Carrey was a nut (good assumption, Sweet Angel SugarBritches). But I love what the caption says with this so I thought it was appropriate to share today ... love ya'll!

"Life is short, Sometimes you gotta bend the rules, Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly, Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably. And never regret anything or forget someone who makes you smile.
Life may not always be the fun party we hoped for, but while we're here we should dance."

Wednesday, Sept 5, 2007 8:10 AM CDT

Two prayer requests this morning ...

The family of Alex Rompel in Prairie Grove needs our prayers. Alex was one of our drivers here @ DMT Services who had a massive heart attack at home yesterday morning and did not survive. He was a joy to work with and as we all become family at our workplaces, our hearts our saddened to say goodbye to part of our Team. Services for Alex are Friday at 2pm Luginbuel's in Prairie Grove.

Also, I received an email this morning from a dear lady, Susan who is a friend / prayer warrior of this precious little girl named Gloria, who lives in Washington and is fighting neuroblastoma tooth & nail like we all know this beast requires. In reading the email then the article in the Seattle Times, my heart certainly goes out this sweet little warrior and her family. Her friend Susan asked for us to pray for Gloria therefore, I'm petitioning our faithful "prayer troops" to please lift them up. I've included a portion of Susan's email below which also has addy to read Gloria's story. God knows and is already there in full control ... this family is strong in their faith and are leaving Gloria in His hands. Thank you for your prayers & love ... you all are the best, hands down, no doubt about it. We love you!
Only By His Grace - Trish

"I am writing to ask for prayers for an 11 yr old girl, Gloria Strauss, from Federal Way, WA. She has been fighting neuroblastoma for 4 years. All of us here in Western Washington are praying for her. In April, Gloria and her family decided to manage Gloria's pain and leave the rest up to God. Gloria 4 brothers and 2 sisters the kids range in age from 13yrs to 10 mos. Mom Kristen has multiple sclerosis. dad Doug is supporting them all on a teacher's salary.

A reporter for the Seattle Times is following Gloria's story. Please go to www.seattletimes.com/gloria to read her story."

Wed, Aug 29th Update:
Oooops!!! How in the world did 2 wks slip past me??? yikes! (I am getting old, aren't I??? or maybe it's just my mileage catching up with me - smile).

Well ... this will be short & sweet.

Eli is in full boy teenage mode - church, school, football, girls, FFA and the county fair. Although, not necessarily in that order - if you know what I mean. Hello ... he is 15, no doubt about it. The recent trip to my hair stylist proves that fact well! He is involved with FFA and is showing turkeys at the fair this year. Bless his heart, I asked why in the world he chose turkeys and he oh so honestly replied, "because the feed was free, Mom and I knew we couldn't buy and feed a calf this year." Ok, he's more mature and thinking farther ahead than I gave him credit. Turkeys are just fine with me then and he was obviously thinking of me as well as himself. He's been caring for "Curly, Mo & Larry" all summer and I have been surprised how big they've gotten. He could only choose 2 for the fair so Curly had to stay behind as he is the smaller of the 3. Oh well, Mo & Larry are in the big city spotlight. (ha)

From the reports I've received Barney is doing pretty well. He was released from the hospital the latter part of last week and has moved to an apartment. He is having some difficulties with his asthma from the anesthesia but other than that seems to be recovering well. The plan is for him to stay in Houston for another couple of weeks. Thank you for your continued prayers for his healing / recovery.

As for me ... it's work but I enjoy it. I've taken on another facet at my job which has been interesting /challenging to say the least but it is fun ... therefore, it's hard to think of it as work. The hours are a bit longer but I'm adjusting. I'm flying out to Michigan tomorrow to meet with one of our customers but will be back late tomorrow nite. We are having a family gathering Sunday which we are looking so forward to ... it's seems like it's been quite a dry spell of seeing everyone. Also, the Clothesline Arts & Crafts Fair is in Prairie Grove this weekend which is like nearly in my front door so our little town is always hopping Labor Day weekend. I usually get to see folks there whom I haven't seen in awhile.

And ... there is a much needed break coming next weekend which I have been counting down the days ... a women's conference Sept 7th & 8th in Nashville called "Deeper Still" with Kay Arthur, Beth Moore & Priscilla Shirer!! Whoo Hoo!! Talk about gettin our spiritual batteries recharged!! I'm so excited to see Mylissa - Bella's mom, Chris - Angel Christal's mom, Tonya - Angel Brent's mom, Susan Amato - Spencer's mom, Dawn - Angel Shae's mom, Anna - Angel Brianna's mom and I believe there are several others going who I've yet to meet but we're all hooking up in Nashville next Friday. God has worked out all the details to make this trip work so I'm really anticipating the blessings He has in store. I really need a getaway which God knew ... I'm glad to get to spend some time with precious friends and not involving a Life Celebration service for a change. Actually, this will be the first time I've seen Chris in almost a year (Christal's 1 yr Angelversary is Sept 10th), I don't believe I've seen Tonya since we left Memphis after Emma Grace danced Home over 2 yrs ago and I've never met Susan - although I feel like I know her thru our websites & emails. It's ever amazing how God lines our paths with so many incredible friendships ... just amazing. This will be my definition of "vacation" this year and I am ready - ok MORE than ready for a break, breather & recharge!!

Oh ... by the way ... I know I haven't mentioned it in awhile but thank you for continuing to pray for my unspoken request. He knows ... and I appreciate your faithfulness in lifting it to Him.

Thank you all so much for your love, continued prayers and precious friendships. I know I get lax at times in updates ... I keep thinking I will get better and update at least once a week but well, no excuses it just doesn't always work out that way. Know that whether you hear from me routinely or "less than routinely", you all hold a place in my heart that belongs to none other. How thankful I am that God chose you to share in this journey and again, ever amazed that you continue. What a blessing you are! We love you ... thanks!

Only By His Grace - Trish
ps ... guess it wasn't so "short" afterall, eh???? (smile!)

Aug 15th:
Barney's surgery went very well yesterday. The surgery only took 5 1/2 hours which was expected to be 6 - 8 hr surgery. They were able to remove the tumors and took one lobe of his liver ... the overall summary is there were no "surprises" everything went very well. Amen!! The doctors kept him in recovery overnite as a precaution but felt he would be able to move out of there today. Thank you for continuing to remember Barney as he recovers, his family which is traveling back home and his mom & sister who are staying with him. I'm thankful this is behind him and continue to pray for his complete healing. We love you & Have a blessed day!
Only By His Grace - Trish

Monday, Aug 13:
Quick Update ... Howdy to do all!
Just wanted to let you know we're good, busy (nothing's changed in that dept. - smile) and thank you so much for all the encouragement & support. You all are the best ... hands down, the best!
Eli is doing well ... got his first "official" football injury catching a facemask under his chin requiring 6 stitches. He's so proud - smile. You know, it's a guy thing. He starts school Aug 20th and is probably a little less excited about it but football season starts so it's worth it.
From the reports I've received recently, Barney's surgery is a go for Tuesday as the doctors @ MD Anderson were very pleased with the scans/tests results. It's my understanding that he will remain in Houston for about a month after the surgery for recovery, etc. Please continue to lift Barney in prayer for this liver surgery ... this is no small undertaking but God is already there, is in full control and this is not too big for God.
Thank you for continuing to remember us in prayer ... I still have the unspoken prayer request on the burner and appreciate those prayers as well. You all have a blessed week and hopefully, a better update soon.
Only By His Grace - Trish
(told you it was going to be "quick", eh? - smile!)

Monday, July 30th Update:
Hey Crew!!

Things are rockin' right along ... Eli went to church camp last week in Siloam Springs and had a BLAST!!! There was over 1200 kids there from TX, OK, KS, MO, LA and of course, Arkansas!! It was awesome and I do believe he came home with his cup running over. He started 2 a day football practices this week so he's gonna be one tired little man but he'll make it once he gets in the groove. Anyway, he came home hittin' the high spots and oh ... by the way, a new sermon written while he was gone. Looks like we may have the blessing of hearing Sermon #2 before long. (smile)

Okie doke ...

Well, before you read any farther you have to know that I have struggled with this entry for over a year. So, I guess you could say I was pacing myself … the truth is, I have thought a long and hard about this and especially, covered it in prayer.

With respect to the reality of our Emma Grace’s cancer, her treatments and her everyday precious life, Barney and I never really tried to “sugarcoat” anything for you concerning the accounts of the day, progresses, declines, her treatments, little wins, just her life in general, etc. Her cancer was what it was and we tried to be very upfront and honest with all of you in her journey.

Obviously, there are many times that I wander down precious “memory lanes” and those trips seems to magnify with the recent 2nd year anniversary of her Heavenly Graduation aka “Angelversary”. Let me just say … it’s been pretty intense … God and I have had several discussions in my attempt to sort some things out. In the process of this discovery time (trust me … I’m not anywhere close to actual ‘discovery’ but I am doing some serious soul searching and am facing things a little more real for a change), it was brought to my attention concerning Emma Grace’s website that we have always just shared what was on our hearts. That’s always been the goal and in doing so, God has allowed me to heal some along the way but yet the “opening up and letter her rip”, so to speak has been the format. We’ve always tried to give God the glory no matter what’s going on in our lives, in the good times and even when things are tough. I’ve always felt her website was somewhat ‘sacred ground’ because I feel God has and continues using Emma Grace & her journey to touch so many hearts whether you actually met her or just via her site, so the last thing I wish to do is tarnish it in any way, shape or fashion. Are you bearing with me so far and is any of this making ANY sense?? (You’ll recall in my opening sentence this was a struggle, right? Ok … just reiterating …)

I’ve said all that to say this … this is brought to my attention often through your sincere concern and occasional, yet justified questions about Barney and me. All “sugarcoating” aside, Barney and I divorced in Oct ’06. Actually, Barney has been trying to get me to share this for some time but I just didn’t have the words. Not sure I have the right ones now but I agree … it’s time, in fact probably overdue. And just to get this cleared up there will always be a love between us because we shared an amazing little girl together which we are forever grateful for the honor to have Emma Grace in our lives. I’ve said many times before and many times again … God could have chosen anyone to be her parents and how thankful I am He chose us. And for reasons unknown on this side of Heaven, in the midst of having been blessed with an incredible child whose life, like too many of our sweet babies, was afflicted with cancer – I believe it became one of the toughest journeys a parent has to face. We are not the first and sadly, not the last to lose a child to cancer or any other life threatening illness or traumatic injury. It would be an understatement to say it puts an enormous strain on parents and there’s really no other way to explain except it was too much which took its toll on us and our marriage. Never in my wildest dreams did I think we would have to say “see ya later” to our Sweet Emma Grace nor did I imagine that Barney and I would not be “ok” when the dust settled. I still believe we’re “ok” … just not together.

Again, God and I are spending some serious time together and are continuing to work things through. There is no doubt in my heart He has this all figured out … it lies within me to trust Him to lead the way. Obviously, life doesn’t always go the way we all think it should and because of the “free will” God gives us, we don’t always make the right decisions or choices. One thing is for certain, God is a loving and forgiving God … He’s the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. I love the song “The Anchor Holds”. The chorus reminds me of my previous statement.
“The Anchor holds, though the ship is battered.
The Anchor holds, though the sails are torn.
I have fallen on my knees as I face the raging seas.
The Anchor holds in spite of the storm.”

I would have to say we can all relate to His carrying us through difficult times even those that we can’t fathom or begin to prepare … the great thing is, God carries us each and everyday whether we have “storms” or rough waters or even when it’s smooth sailing. Thank you Lord … I’m ever amazed at His goodness and unconditional love to face each day no matter what it brings our way.

Please continue to lift Barney in prayer as he faces his own cancer battle. He is headed back to MD Anderson soon as his liver surgery is tentatively set for Aug 14th. He will be having a series of tests to see what the status is of the hopefully, still diminishing tumors with no new surprises. With "all systems go" for the surgery, this will be a major as they are removing one complete lobe and a portion of the other lobe. God is in full control and already has this all figured out … again, our job is to trust and believe. He's actually getting some time off this week for much needed R & R time and enjoying a Louisiana fishing trip with his brother and friends. Thank you for your continued prayers for him.

I trust you all know this was not one of my “easiest” entries … in fact, far from it. But just as I was trying to convey during those times of Emma Grace’s treatment, the same holds true with Barney and me … it is what it is and we felt it was time that you were completely in the loop so to speak. Thank you for your love and understanding … your continued prayers and most of all, your precious friendships. Time and time again, God sends you at the most perfect times to share something He has laid on your heart that He knows I need at that very moment … thank you for continuing to follow His lead. We love you and are forever grateful for God placing you in our paths. Enjoy His Sonshine … you all are the best and we love you.

Only By His Grace – Trish

Monday, July 30, 2007 4:27 PM CDT

Hey Crew!!

Things are rockin' right along ... Eli went to church camp last week in Siloam Springs and had a BLAST!!! There was over 1200 kids there from TX, OK, KS, MO, LA and of course, Arkansas!! It was awesome and I do believe he came home with his cup running over. He started 2 a day football practices this week so he's gonna be one tired little man but he'll make it once he gets in the groove.

Barney has been off chemo and taking a getaway vacation to Louisiana on a fishing trip. It'll be good for him to have some downtime prior to his upcoming trip to MD Anderson for the next round. Please pray for his safe travels, much needed R & R time and especially, the next phase of his treatment.

Okie doke ...

Well, before you read any farther you have to know that I have struggled with this entry for over a year. So, I guess you could say I was pacing myself … the truth is, I have thought a long and hard about this and especially, covered it in prayer.

With respect to the reality of our Emma Grace’s cancer, her treatments and her everyday precious life, Barney and I never really tried to “sugarcoat” anything for you concerning the accounts of the day, progresses, declines, her treatments, little wins, just her life in general, etc. Her cancer was what it was and we tried to be very upfront and honest with all of you in her journey.

Obviously, there are many times that I wander down precious “memory lanes” and those trips seems to magnify with the recent 2nd year anniversary of her Heavenly Graduation aka “Angelversary”. Let me just say … it’s been pretty intense … God and I have had several discussions in my attempt to sort some things out. In the process of this discovery time (trust me … I’m not anywhere close to actual ‘discovery’ but I am doing some serious soul searching and am facing things a little more real for a change), it was brought to my attention concerning Emma Grace’s website that we have always just shared what was on our hearts. That’s always been the goal and in doing so, God has allowed me to heal some along the way but yet the “opening up and letter her rip”, so to speak has been the format. We’ve always tried to give God the glory no matter what’s going on in our lives, in the good times and even when things are tough. I’ve always felt her website was somewhat ‘sacred ground’ because I feel God has and continues using Emma Grace & her journey to touch so many hearts whether you actually met her or just via her site, so the last thing I wish to do is tarnish it in any way, shape or fashion. Are you bearing with me so far and is any of this making ANY sense?? (You’ll recall in my opening sentence this was a struggle, right? Ok … just reiterating …)

I’ve said all that to say this … this is brought to my attention often through your sincere concern and occasional, yet justified questions about Barney and me. All “sugarcoating” aside, Barney and I divorced in Oct ’06. Actually, Barney has been trying to get me to share this for some time but I just didn’t have the words. Not sure I have the right ones now but I agree … it’s time, in fact probably overdue. And just to get this cleared up there will always be a love between us because we shared an amazing little girl together which we are forever grateful for the honor to have Emma Grace in our lives. I’ve said many times before and many times again … God could have chosen anyone to be her parents and how thankful I am He chose us. And for reasons unknown on this side of Heaven, in the midst of having been blessed with an incredible child whose life, like too many of our sweet babies, was afflicted with cancer – I believe it became one of the toughest journeys a parent has to face. We are not the first and sadly, not the last to lose a child to cancer or any other life threatening illness or traumatic injury. It would be an understatement to say it puts an enormous strain on parents and there’s really no other way to explain except it was too much which took its toll on us and our marriage. Never in my wildest dreams did I think we would have to say “see ya later” to our Sweet Emma Grace nor did I imagine that Barney and I would not be “ok” when the dust settled. I still believe we’re “ok” … just not together.

Again, God and I are spending some serious time together and are continuing to work things through. There is no doubt in my heart He has this all figured out … it lies within me to trust Him to lead the way. Obviously, life doesn’t always go the way we all think it should and because of the “free will” God gives us, we don’t always make the right decisions or choices. One thing is for certain, God is a loving and forgiving God … He’s the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. I love the song “The Anchor Holds”. The chorus reminds me of my previous statement.
“The Anchor holds, though the ship is battered.
The Anchor holds, though the sails are torn.
I have fallen on my knees as I face the raging seas.
The Anchor holds in spite of the storm.”

I would have to say we can all relate to His carrying us through difficult times even those that we can’t fathom or begin to prepare … the great thing is, God carries us each and everyday whether we have “storms” or rough waters or even when it’s smooth sailing. Thank you Lord … I’m ever amazed at His goodness and unconditional love to face each day no matter what it brings our way.

Please continue to lift Barney in prayer as he faces his own cancer battle. His liver surgery is tentatively set for Aug 14th. He will be having a series of tests to see what the status is of the hopefully, still diminishing tumors with no new surprises. With "all systems go" for the surgery, this will be a major as they are removing one complete lobe and a portion of the other lobe. God is in full control and already has this all figured out … again, our job is to trust and believe. Thank you for your continued prayers for him.

I trust you all know this was not one of my “easiest” entries … in fact, far from it. But just as I was trying to convey during those times of Emma Grace’s treatment, the same holds true with Barney and me … it is what it is and we felt it was time that you were completely in the loop so to speak. Thank you for your love and understanding … your continued prayers and most of all, your precious friendships. Time and time again, God sends you at the most perfect times to share something He has laid on your heart that He knows I need at that very moment … thank you for continuing to follow His lead. We love you and are forever grateful for God placing you in our paths. Enjoy His Sonshine … you all are the best and we love you.

Only By His Grace – Trish

Monday, July 23, 2007 9:15 AM CDT

Good Day to All!!

Well, well, well ... things are good, staying busy and most times, busier than I would like but it's ok, just life. Sorry for the delay in updating ... no excuses, just life.

Eli has been in high gear ... he recently went on a mission trip in South Texas and had a great time. The rain caused a bit of havoc on their outdoor constructions but they made good hands. He has been staying busy with football practices and working at our local Razorback Pizza which has been really good for him. This morning he is headed out for Church Camp all week and is really looking forward to the week at camp. Needless to say, he's been busy. And it appears to be ramping up as we speak ... before I blink he will starting school as a sophomore ... YIKES!!!

In backtracking a bit ... the Shake 4 Jake event was PHENOMENAL!!! The whole weekend was top notch (which I expected nothing less from the sweet Raborns and their generous crew who pours their hearts into Jake's Foundation). I agree wholeheartedly that unless you knew this was the first event, you sure couldn't tell it by the way things were clicking when the event kicked off. What a wonderful network of friends who showed their support in raising over $125,000 for Jake's Foundation!!! WOW!! The JOR Crew has it goin' on and will continue to help families which is their focal mission. I just can't say enough about what an amazing weekend it was and I'm so thankful to have been there to share it with everyone. It was so good to see so many of our St Jude families and CaringBridge friends. Those were neckhugs that were long overdue. It blessed my heart beyond words to get to meet so many folks that we've only "met" via the website who have lifted us in prayer.

That Staci is one of the prettiest pregnant women I've seen. There is definitely a glow about her ... but then again, I think her sweet spirit glows pregnant or not. We had a great visit on the way home Sunday when my flights were cancelled and I was hating she had to drive so much but grateful for the opportunity to get to have some heart to heart windshield time. She truly is a beautiful friend with a matching heart. Thanks Don & Staci for the weekend ... it's time I'll certainly cherish.

AND HOW ABOUT THAT SWEET LITTLE ELLIE SUE?!?!?!? Is she not a cutie pa-tootie or what??? Congrats Mo & Todd ... you'll have this parenting thing down in no time. Sleep may be a luxury but it's all worth it.

This past weekend brought a wonderful surprise ... Sweet Sharyn, Sara Claire's Mimi, came in Friday night and spent the weekend with us!! Talk about a sight for sore eyes!!! She and I were trying to figure out the last time we saw each other and as near as we could figure it has been well over a year. (Does that tell you we never really figured out the exact date?? ha!) You all know my concept of time is severely out of whack and Sharyn's is about the same as mine! (smile) We had a great visit plus we attended the Gospel singing at the Springdale Rodeo grounds with my dear friends from work. It was a great time and fellowship. My precious cousin Nancy came to church and shared two songs yesterday that were incredible! My favorite of the two was "I Can't Wait" (one that she wrote with especially Cousin Joyce & I as well as herself in mind). In summary, the song talks about how fear & sorrow can surround us but God's Arms of grace embraces us, how once we looked forward to growing up and now we long for His appearing to be with Him. The chorus goes like this ...
"I can't wait, I can't wait,
til we dance across eternal skies
on Love's great Wedding day.
I can't wait, I can't wait,
Throw these earthly gowns down
to the ground and dress in Heaven's lace.
I can't wait."
Well ... I couldn't agree more. I can't wait and what a reunion it will be, eh?? Talk about a sweet spirit and we had some serious worship time together. Sharyn, Mom, Dad, Chuck & Kellye were there with us as well and it was wonderful to have them in services with us. It isn't often all of us get to be in church together and it was sure good. It goes without saying, we filled a pew with our crew! Sharyn had to head back right after services so she could make it in time for her church's evening worship as well as choir practice which she is a precious part of.

We had an extra blessing of having sermons delivered by two of our teens Christian & Lee who have also answered the call to preach God's word. They tagteamed the messages with Bro. Brian and it was awesome. One part of the service particularily spoke to my heart by Lee. He was sharing that he had made mistakes in his past which he felt had led other teen friends away from God's focus and he was apologizing to them and the church for the wrong choices he had made. He felt they looked up to him as a leader and he was holding himself accountable for not being an example during that time in his life. He said we need to stay focused ahead but we need to be aware of our past and how our present choices affect that past. He shared that no matter what our past holds, God can still use us in His work and desires to use us. That's one of the great gifts from God is to forgive us and love us with an indescribable love that only comes from Him. He also shared that it is time for teens and especially, adults to take a stand, being leaders by example. It was a great message that I'm sure I'll "digest" for quite sometime.

Well ... I gotta run. Hope things are going well in your worlds. Thank you all for your continued love and support - (and your kind nudging for updates ...smile). You all mean the world to us and I can't thank God enough for sending us you ... His love and grace are overwhelming. Enjoy His Sonshine!!

Only By His Grace – Trish

“While we wait for the blessed hope—the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ...”
Titus 2: 13 NIV

Monday, July 2, 2007 4:19 PM CDT

Quick note about Shake 4 Jake ... WOW!!! What a fun, humbling, awesome event that I'm so thankful for the blessing of getting to attend. Those sweet Raborn's never cease to amaze me. You gotta go check out Jake's website for the action packed update as well as the night's pix now posted on the slideshow. It's GREENBELIEVABLE!!! Great Job Staci, Don & Jake's Crew ... you're amazing!!!I'm pretty wow'd by the whole weekend so I promise a better update later ... love to all and thank you so much for your prayers!
Only By His Grace - Trish

Wed June 27th:
Don't faint and fall over that there is FINALLY an update. I’m so baaaaad and I apologize (again & again) for the delay … you all are the sweetest, faithful friends. Well … no excuses, it's just life that sometimes gets in the way of what I want / need to do. Thanks for your patience, understanding and forgiveness. Ok … now … I’ve stored up some so if you gotta sec, sit a spell. (smile)

As promised I wanted to share Eli’s 1st sermon which has now been SIX weeks ago. (Really?!?!? My concept of time isn’t even considered a ‘concept’ anymore – it’s pretty much non existent.) Alrighty then … it won’t be shocking to know the joy, humility, love, thankfulness and “cup running over affect” are still abundant. When I say Eli helps keep me grounded … he is such a blessing to me. I stand back at times (not when he’s being a typical 15 yr old boy – smile) but those times when he says or does something so profound and meaningful and it takes my breath away. In sharing my little diddy at the Angel Garden on Emma Grace’s Angelversary and on the previous post, I truly believe it is because of the journey that he went through especially since Oct 10, 2002. I know I have shared this with folks and possibly here in the past so forgive me for reiterating but as much as we felt Emma Grace sacrificed thru her treatment, Eli did as well. I’m not saying to the same extent, obviously but it was tough on him being away from his family for such extended periods of time. Even though we came home as much as we could, he traveled to see us when he could and we talked a lot on the phone … he still gave up a lot, unavoidable circumstances but yet he did it because he had to. God carried all of us … no doubt about it and in the process of the journey, Eli has grown – physically (duh!) but emotionally and especially, spiritually.

Well, I said all that to finally get to the sermon. His message was on Psalm 23 “The Lord is Our Shepherd – He’s My Shepherd, He’s Your Shepherd”. Needless to say, I was a mess before he ever took the pulpit … I just kept praying for God to carry him and He did. You know, Momma’s are just like that … sometimes a bit on the worry wart side.
Eli was very well prepared – he had made notes for weeks, researching other scriptures to go along with his message, sought counsel through a dear friend to “critique” and advice. Most of all, he kept praying God would give him all the right stuff and Eli took it very serious to deliver just what He gave him. Ok … I keep backtracking, sorry.

Anyway, he had 3 points to his message – ah hah, he has been paying attention during worship services. I was amazed he broke down each segment and explained what he felt it meant and backed it up with scripture. His first point was “The Shepherd of the Flock”. He spoke about The Shepherd protecting, guiding and comforting us. How God goes after the one from the flock to bring it back to safety and that Christians are not pictured as mighty lions but as sheep that are dependent upon our Shepherd. His second point was “The Shadow of Death” … whew … tough ground but he did it. He said that everyone is threatened with death and we can’t ignore it. He talked about Our Shepherd tending to us during troubled times, comforting us and we’re not to be afraid because God is with us no matter what we face. He shared a little of Emma Grace’s story that even though we don’t understand, God does and He gives us the strength to go thru each day, God has the reasons and He wants us to be stronger thru our trials. He said sometimes it those trials that make us completely turn our problems to God. (good stuff for Momma to hear, dontcha think??) His third and final point was “The Eternal House of the Lord”. He talked about God using other people as blessings in our lives, providing what we need and feeding us thru His word. He also referred to Heaven being a home where we’ll never thirst again, praising and worshipping God for eternity. He ended with he couldn’t wait to get there someday.

When Eli turned it over to Bro. Brian, it was quite moving … ok, so the whole sermon was more than “quite moving” … it reached down and touched this Momma’s heart in a way I still can’t explain. But anyway … Bro Brian told Eli that he did an excellent job and he guaranteed his first sermon wasn’t anywhere near as good as Eli’s. He looked at Bro Stan and said “Yours wasn’t either, Bro Stan … I was there for both of them.” HAHAHA! Bro. Brian elaborated on Eli’s point of “The Shadow of Death” and said the good thing is … it’s a shadow, we pass thru it and God carries us through.

To say I’m humbled beyond words …it just that … beyond words. And after 6 weeks I still can’t spell out what’s in my heart except how thankful I am God is using Eli to His service and His glory. Please continue to pray for Eli as he faces each day just being a 15 yr old boy facing some very grown up challenges.

I have soaked up the message from Bro Brian Sunday night and am still digesting it over again. He talked about Job and his incredible challenges of losing everything but yet he stayed committed to God and His path, confident in God’s word and convinced that God is in full control. Job loved God but most of all, God loved Job just as He does us and He blessed Job many times over what he originally had in life for his faithful, trusting relationship with God.

Alrighty … hows ‘bout that for a little church??

Barney is doing well…just completed another round of chemo and will start another next Monday. This will be his last chemo until after his liver surgery in August. Thank you for your continued prayers as he has done well with his treatments and with the upcoming surgery which is major to say the least. Barney is in really good spirits and continues to work which keeps his mind busy as well.

The upcoming weekend is SHAKE 4 JAKE 1st Annual Fund-raising event and foundation “kick off”. Be sure to visit Jake’s website for details as well as purchase of tickets. www.caringbridge.org/la/jakeowen Yes, yes, yes!!! I’m getting the blessing of attending as well and I’m SOOOO excited. I’m actually getting to spend the whole weekend there which I’m sure will be wild to say the least. It seems pretty surreal, bittersweet, yet blesses the very depths of my heart that the Raborn’s are continuing in their mission of love to help other families. They are precious folks who I have obviously become very attached to thru our paralleling journeys … once St Jude family … always St Jude family. I know I will get to see The Haynes’, The Pierce’s, The Smith’s and hopefully, The Boyer’s will make it plus a whole lotta BELIEVERS and faithful website friends whom we have met along the way. I can’t wait!!!! Pray for safe travels (and smooth connection out of Dallas with all the wet weather).

Okie dokie … you all wanna whip me when I post something like this but you just gotta trust me on this but I really need some special prayer that God has laid on my heart. I would love to go into it and I will but first, I’m asking you to join me in laying it all at His Throne. One thing’s for sure … there is not one thing in this world about us, it’s ALL about Him. God knows … so thank you for asking Him to direct the way. And in time, I’m trusting I can share this dear request very soon but for now … we’ll band together in prayer. Ok? Thanks again …

You know … YOU ALL are such blessings, we love you and can never thank God enough for you. You are faithful to put up with my lax in updates, faithful to pray even without specifics, and above all, you are forever letting His light shine with your love. We love you all and trust you are basking in His Sonshine!

Only By His Grace - Trish

Friday, June 8, 2007 1:42 PM CDT

Praise Report! I spoke with Barney earlier and the chemo is working!! AMEN!! His doctor told him the tumors have shrunk considerably, he is scheduled for 2 more rounds of chemo then will have a liver resection surgery on Aug 14th. They are removing one complete lobe and part of the other. He will then have 3 more months of chemo post surgery. Ok ... don't cha just love good news?!?!? Barney was doing some prelim tests while he is there which will prep for surgery in a couple of months. Barney sounded quite relieved & thrilled to hear such good news. Thank you for your prayers and continued support!! We love you!

Wednesday, June 6, 2007 7:53AM
As one of my very favorite songs goes ...
Dancing with the Angels,
Walking in new life,
Dancing with the Angels,
Heaven fills your eyes
Now that your Dancing with the Angels.

Don't you know that's a beautiful sight today and everyday?? I can almost see all our precious Angel children dancing as we speak .... beautiful!

Greetings to all and thank you for remembering Emma Grace's 2 yr Heavenly Graduation. I want to share some thoughts with you who have become our family through the years and how thankful we are that God sent us you. I hope to share some of these same thoughts at the Angel Garden today at 6pm for Angel Emma Grace's balloon liftoff. Forgive me for not posting sooner ... well, you know how I can let time slip thru my fingertips.

Before I continue ... please remember Emma Grace's Daddy as he finishes round #4 of chemo today then heads to Houston for more tests and scans on Thursday to see how well the chemo is working. The gameplan will be determined from there. We pray they will see great results with these rounds of chemo. Please lift him in prayer as he travels and as the team of doctors work with him on the "whats next".

Ok ...

To say thank you seems inadequate … you all have touched our lives with such profound deepness, thank you just isn’t enough. And I can truly say and it’s obvious by your continuous presence honoring our girl, your girl - Emma Grace touched your heart in her own special way as well.

It’s hard to believe it’s been 2 years since her Heavenly Graduation – sometimes it seems like yesterday and others an eternity. To me it is just as important to honor her sweet memory today and her Heavenly Birthday or Graduation as it was 2 yrs ago. This continues to be a healing process and I’m quite sure it will last for the rest of my lifetime.

When either of my children were born never did it cross my mind that one of them would enter Heaven’s Gates before me. That’s just not the normal of the way we think of typical life – by the way I’ve learned “Normal” is just a setting on the dryer. But the reality is – life doesn’t always go the way we think it should or how we have it planned perfectly in our minds. There is no doubt though that God sees the full picture when nothing makes sense to our human minds or hearts. I like what our friend Janet Conner shared when her Daddy passed away. “If you imagine life as a jigsaw puzzle, God holds the box top seeing how the finished picture will look. We are unique pieces in this puzzle each helping to make up the complete picture of life.”

Not only are you and I part of “God’s Puzzle” if you will - but I believe Emma Grace came to us for a short time interlocking us together thru her journey but most of all reminding us of what’s important in completing this picture God holds. She was one of the bravest people I’ve ever met and her cancer was just part of life to her which she faced with incredible dignity & grace. Oh she was quite sassy, full of energy, laughter, smiles but most of all, a little girl with a huge heart full of love for everyone. Everyone was equal in her eyes and most of all, she loved her Jesus and there was no doubt the love she shared with you and I came straight from Our Father.

There are many who shared with us, some of you we've met right here, you've shared how God touched your heart and changed your relationship with Him by using Emma Grace and her journey. I can tell you my life has been forever changed as well and I know Eli would tell you the same. After 2 yrs I still am touched to hear that her journey is still touching hearts. It does bring me incredible joy to talk about her, hear from someone who never met her yet that she’s had an impact on, and most importantly, the blessings that God had in store by having Emma Grace visit us for her 4 short years. I truly believe it’s because of this journey God has lead Eli through and the life experiences he’s already had at a young age that God is using him in His ministry. That’s amazing. God could have chosen anyone in the world to be Eli & Emma Grace’s Momma. How thankful yet humbled I am that He chose me.

You all know my heart and if I’d had two choices – having that beautiful, blue eyed sassy baby girl who brought incredible joy to so me and many, yet became afflicted with a dreaded disease and would change who I am forever OR to live life, bypass some heartaches but never have known her??? I think we all know what our answers would be.

I know this may sound strange but when Emma Grace left her earthly body 2 yrs ago today, there was almost felt a sense of relief that her battle was over. She had fought long and hard yet she never gave up … but her body did. She always talked about going to visit Jesus someday because she knew without a doubt He was her friend. And at the time we talked about it, I never dreamed she would get her heart’s desire. I truly believe she came to share His love, remind us that life is but a vapor and there’s work yet to do. She completed her journey with a song in her heart for Jesus and I believe she danced thru the Heaven's gate straight to Him. She was met by some of her dearest St Jude friends as well as family ... then I can imagine she was waiting to greet some more of her precious friends as they made their completed journey Home. Talk about some absolutely amazing children who have touched our lives ... wow. With each day I miss Emma Grace more and more but even though it’s sometimes hard, I believe we should rejoice because she’s with Jesus completely happy, healthy and free … not to mention she and her precious friends are gonna meet us at Heaven’s Gate while holding the hand of her dear friend, Jesus. It’s like the song says, “Heaven’s getting sweeter all the time.”

I know it is God’s strength that gets me thru each day, Eli helps keep my feet planted and Emma Grace’s memories keep me going and especially the promise that we will see her again one day. The truth is God’s love, grace and mercy are abundant and it’s because of His sacrifice on Calvary that we have the promise of life everlasting. I thank Him and I praise Him … just as Emma Grace used to say in her prayers because without Him we are nothing.

We love you ... have a blessed day, soaking up His Sonshine.

Only By His Grace - Trish

"The Father has loved us so much that we are called children of God." 1 John 3:1

Tuesday, May 22, 2007 8:15 AM CDT

YIKES!! There's a song from my high school days that says "Time keeps on slippin', slippin' into the future." Well, that pretty much covers it. I promise a full fledge update later but I want to touch base with you to first say, Thank you for your patience and gentle nudging of checking on us. You all really are the best and somehow I keep slacking ... not intentionally, but slacking nonetheless.
Quick notes on things I need to catch you up on:

PRAYER REQUESTS FOR JAKE'S COUSIN, TUCKER!! He is in Arkansas Childrens Hospital in Little Rock with kidney issues and last word not sure what is the culprit. Please pray for this sweet boy and his precious family. Updates are on Sweet Angel Jake's website ... www.caringbridge.org/la/jakeowen

Eli is doing well, staying busy, school soon to be out, and yes, his first sermon was AWESOME! To say Momma had some serious waterworks would be an understatement. God really carried him thru and it was incredible. More details later ...

Barney is in round 3 of chemo as we speak and making it well. He is having minimal side effects and is able to continue working. Thank you for your continued prayers for Daddy Barney.

Jacob Acurio went back to St Jude and is clean, clean, clean!! Thank you Lord.

Kristi Leick's lymph nodes came back "dirty" ... they did remove her thyroid with the tumor was around but the great news is this is VERY TREATABLE! Hallelujah! No chemo, no radiation just radioactive drops. She is doing well.

Thank you again sweet peeps ... I know this is ever so brief (especially for me) but I will collect my thoughts and give a better scoop later. Love you all and we are thankful to God for you always! Have a blessed day!

Only By His Grace - Trish

May 3rd:
Howdy do to all ... sorry for delay and I wish I had news to relay on Kristi's surgery but I haven't heard report from anyone yet though I've inquired. Just keep praying and we'll pray no news is good news, eh?? Hopefully, I'll hear something soon ... I know the surgery was changed a couple of times and well, I just don't know. But I know Who does.

Our friend, Kathryn Campbell is doing much better. The little stink got some much deserved rest which she needed because my observation is she likes to stay bizzy ... I mean REALLY bizzy!! Glad you're feeling better girl!

Barney is back on the road (again) and has been making it really well since his chemo. The last visit with his surgeon concerning the port was good and the doc felt it was just healing with no signs of infection which is great. He should have another round of chemo coming up next week ... not certain of what day it will start but I believe every 14 days is his turn around. Please continue to pray he tolerates the chemo well and it attacks the beast like it's supposed to.

Well for those of you who are in the NW Arkansas area - you are being forewarned ... and for those of you who are not ... count your blessings on this issue. Eli has now acquired his driver's permit and of course, he's thinking up places we need to go so he can "officially" drive. (Well, I think I'm starting to get a clearer picture of how my parents felt when I was constantly wanting to drive everywhere ... you've heard you pay for your raising?? Well, that'd be me! smile!) Actually, Eli is a pretty good driver as he's been driving "unofficially" for several years ... you know, on the farm, dirt roads, etc. He loves anything with a steering wheel ... like Momma like Son. He just needs some highway experience and thankfully, I have a few more hairs left that Clariol doesn't have to be applied ... yet!

Also ... (drum roll) Bro Brian asked Eli to help him with the upcoming Sunday evening services. He has been working on his first sermon for several weeks (like 8 wks) and he's pretty thrilled that Bro Brian and he will be "tag teaming" the message for the evening. Please lift him in prayer that he delivers exactly what God wants him to say, that he will shake off any nervous jitters and also, for God to protect him. You know when you take such a bold stand for God that satan despises it and will do his best to make things tough on Eli. Again, it is incredibly humbling for me - as a Momma and my emotions are a bit overwhelmed that God is using Eli for His glory. I can tell you for sure that it's going to be an early Mother's Day gift for Eli to follow his heart and convictions in sharing God's word with others.

For those who are in our neck of the woods and would like to come join us, it's Unity Covenant Church in West Fork. You can email me for directions if you're interested.

Okie dokie ... I best get rolling .. things are quite wild in my world (like that's anything new!). I'm learning a new position at work as my dear friend, Vicki is going on vacation next week and I'm filling in for her in as load coordinator. (yikes!! another familiar saying ... "old dog, new tricks" ... again, that's me!! ha!) It's ok though and actually having a good time learning yet another facet of the trucking business.

Thank you all for your many prayers, your love and your precious friendships. We love you bunches and thank God for you always ...

Only By His Grace - Trish

Wed 4/25/07
Quick note of updates:
Barney has completed his first round of chemo on Monday and made it really well. He was slightly nauseated Tuesday morning but as the day went on he was doing much better. He had a full day of errands before leaving back out on the truck Tuesday afternoon. Yes ... he is back to work. That's a big AMEN! I know he feels much better getting back to "his world" and I'm sure he appreciated time at his Mom's house during the recoup period but he's back in his element. The walls can often close in around you with idle time. When I talked to him last night, I could tell he was in much better spirits having a gameplan and getting started with this cancer beast, getting back to work and facing everything head on.

Kristi had her biopsy and the doctors are concerned as the cells are suspicious. They did not say it is cancer but they couldn't say it wasn't either so she is having surgery next Wednesday taking out the growth by her thyroid. Please continue to remember them in prayers as we know this is a very nervewrecking time ... the waiting is always the worst.

Our sweet friend we met thru wonderful CaringBridge that I know you've seen sign guestbook often, Kathryn Campbell from Columbia, IL had an "episode" last weekend. They thought she was having a heart attack but turns out she is exhausted and stressed. So she is home on rest. Please lift our precious Kathryn in prayer as well as she recoups. She's a feisty gal and I know staying down is not her best attribute. (smile)

Thank you so much for your continued prayers, love and friendship ... we can never thank our Father enough for sending you to our sides to faithfully walk these journeys with us. You are the best ... Enjoy His Sonshine!

Only By His Grace - Trish

Wed Apr 18:
UPDATE & PRAYER REQUEST: Thursday, Apr 19th: Our St Jude friend, Kristi Lieck is having a biopsy on her thyroid on Friday at Lady of the Lakes in Baton Rouge, LA. Kristi is a Ewings sarcoma patient and if I'm remembering correctly has been in remission for 4 yrs. Please remember her in prayer during her surgery and the biopsy is clean. Thank you for your prayers!
Trish

Well Howdy do to all of you!

First ... There is a dear friend that we got attached to while Emma Grace was in treatment, Cathy Layfield. She is a college student that spent many hours at RMH and St Jude spoiling our kids ... she is precious. Her mom, Ellen has been diagnosed with colon cancer as of last week and hers has spread to the liver as well. She certainly needs our prayers as well as her family. From the last email I received from Cathy, her mom will be going to MD Anderson for treatment. In visiting with Cathy, she has recently set up a caringbridge website for her mom. Things are still so new and surreal at this time, I don't believe that Cathy has started posting to it just yet but keep it handy and most importantly, lift them in prayer.
www.caringbridge.org/visit/ellenlayfield

Ok ... as for Daddy Barney's treatment ... things are moving right along. He had his first appt with the oncologist in Fayetteville and his chemo starts on Monday. He will be on the infusion pump until Wednesday. So the wheels are in motion. Barney is feeling really good, his surgery site from having the port placed is doing good and he's ready to get going. From all indications, the doctors seem to think that he will be able to go back to work in between chemo treatments. I know that will be a relief to him as all this "idle" time is not his cup of tea. He did travel to see his brother, Marvin, LeeAnn and Linnie last weekend which was a good and he made the trip well. The down time is what is needed for now ... please continue to pray as he starts these treatments and the anticipated side effects will be minimal.

Eli and I took off Friday to St Jude for the Day of Remembrance weekend to honor all the many sweet Angels. The anticipation of seeing our dear friends and the actual events of the weekend then the emotional coast after the weekend have brought me to a new "whipped" status. It was great to see so many of the dear families we lived with at RMH, Target and our stay at St Jude ... yet the reality of why we were all together again was quite sobering. The reception is always quite eye opening as to how many of our dear friends have been affected by the beast. All the families set up memory boards with pictures of our choice to display in the Pavillion at St Jude. Of course, we strategitized to get Stanton, Christal and Emma Grace all in a row ... it was pretty cool. Well duh .. they would have wanted it that way ... dontcha think?

Everyone who had not seen Eli in sometime was quite amazed how much that child KEEPS growing ... did I mention he's 6'3" now??? Oh my ... he's still growing. I have to remind him every so often it doesn't matter how tall he gets, I'm still his Momma and ten times as mean as he is tall. Well, I gotta keep my bluff in, ya know. (smile)

We got to spend "extra" time with some of our special families - Nancy Mills & Crew, Larron & Anita King, Chris aka Christal's Mommy, The Haynes' and the Schexnayder's (yes, I got to love on Mr. Mason who is adorable like his sister Zoie!) ... and as special as St Jude is to us (obviously) ... there was the wonderful bonus of the Ronald McDonald House which I have always referred to as "Uncle Ronnie's". In all my trips back "home" to Memphis, it dawned on me (as I'm sitting on the infamous patio at Uncle Ronnie's) that this weekend is the first time I've actually ventured past our dear house manager and friend, Sherri's office. There are just many, MANY memories there - many livelong friendships formed right there as we journeyed thru this cancer world together, many joyous times of our children bonding in their own unique ways and lots of resounding precious echoes that I could almost see and hear of the contagious smiles & laughters, rumbling explosions and squeals of their playtimes and the quietness of their incredible presence. It was all too real ... I'm not sure I'm even getting close to describing the overwhelming joy and sadness that was bundled in one package ... especially at RMH.

At times it seems like we never left, at others it seems ages ago and then those really uneasy times of "did it really happen??" "was she really mine and here??" ... Those are the ones that bother me the most. I know my heart wouldn't ache to the degrees that it does with that last phrase but at times it just seems so "unreal" to me in a blast of reality. Certainly NOT the life I would have chosen but then again, it wasn't up to me now was it? And on the flipside ... How in the world would I have met all these sweet, precious children and their families that have become ours?!?!?!? That's truly the part I'm thankful for ... The blessings God had in store and continues to give, His strength to get us through even the most unimaginable and the unfailing love that I know I'll never fully understand until I meet Him face to Face. NOT TO MENTION the obvious ... He blessed us with these incredible children that joined our hearts forever.

Well ... I am blessed, no doubt ... completely unworthy and yet, blessed. Thank you all so much for your continued prayers, your love and your precious friendships. God has truly blessed us with you and we are forever grateful. In reflecting on these precious children, I want to close with yesterday's devotion from Max Lucado's "Grace for the Moment II". We are all very unique as God made us ... Max's closing comment reminds me so much of our St Jude Angels. "You are Heaven's Halley's comet; we have one shot at seeing you shine." And shine they all did and continue to still ... we're all blessed, wouldn't you agree?

Only By His Grace - Trish

THERE'S ONLY ONE YOU
"From the place of His dwelling He looks on all the inhabitants of the earth; He fashions their hearts individually." Psalm 33:14-15

You are the only you God made.
He made you and broke the mold ... Every single baby is a brand-new idea from the mind of God.
No one can duplicate your life. Scan history for your replica; you won't find it. God tailor-made you. He "personally formed and made each one" (Isaiah 43:7 MSG). No box of "backup yous" sit in God's workshop. You aren't one of many bricks in the mason's pile or one of a dozen bolts in the mechanic's drawer. You are it! And if you aren't you, we don't get you. The world misses out.
You are Heaven's Halley's comet; we have one shot at seeing you shine.

(From "Cure for the Common Life")

Thursday, April 12, 2007 4:57 PM CST

Well ... that week sure did fly by fast!!

Quick notes of updates ... Mimi Sharyn's pastor Bro. John has been released from the hospital ... HALLELUJAH!! Thank you for your prayers.

Daddy Barney has had a pretty eventful week ... he had a port placed on Tuesday as outpatient surgery. He is still sore but recovering well.

He has an appointment with the oncologist in Fayetteville and they will start scheduling his chemo. Please pray all the meds are tolerated well and start tackling the beast.

The wheels are in motion now and I know there is a sense of relief to know that steps are being taken to get this show on the road as Barney says.

Thank you for your many prayers ... you all are the best. Sorry for the "short and sweetness" but time is getting away quick. Love to all and know we are thankful God has placed you in our lives!

Only By His Grace - Trish

Friday, Apr 6th:
Okie dokie ... the word from Barney is in ... the good news is - from all evidence the cancer is localized in the liver and has not invaded anywhere else in the body. BIG HALLELUJAH!! From what the CT shows there are 4 possibly 5 tumors on the liver. They were unable to determine if the 5th was on the inside lining of the abdomen or liver. So the 5th spot they are watching very closely.

The gameplan is this ... 4 rounds of chemo of which Barney has the protocol in hand to do the treatments at home. Then in about 60 days he will go back to MD Anderson for more scans. If everything appears to be cooperating, then he will have the 1st of at least 2 major liver surgeries. Obviously, all the steps from there will be indicative of how well the chemo treatments are tolerated and the effectiveness of the chemo.

Barney said his doctor was very optimistic and Barney is relieved to know that the cancer has not spread to anything other than the liver which has its own bag of complexities. BUT ... there is now a gameplan and God is laying the groundwork as we speak ... dontcha know He's already got it worked out.

Barney and his mom are enroute back from Houston as we speak which is about a 10 hr ride. Thank you for continued prayers ... you all never cease to amaze me at your faithfulness to lift our requests to the Father. One of our greatest gifts is the love you continually show us and we thank you. Most importantly, we all have hope ... God personally made sure of that by sending His only Son for our hope in eternity. What a day that will be!! Have a blessed Easter weekend ... and Thank you Lord ... He is RISEN!

Only By His Grace - Trish

Thurs, April 5th:
This will be a short & sweet ... and primarily because there's not a whole lot to report at this time. Barney and his mom travels were great to Houston ... thanks for those prayers. He had his 1st visit with the Dr. yesterday - which he really liked this Dr., then they did bloodwork and xrays. He said the Dr. was trying to be nice in preliminary assessments when Barney reminded him it wasn't his first rodeo with cancer so it was ok to just talk. He said the Dr. visited with him pretty liberally then yet didn't want to make any plans until they get all the testing done. Today is his CT scan then he meets with the Dr. again tomorrow for evaluation and set the gameplan. Please be in prayer that everything is clearly defined so there is no doubts about what God has planned with Barney's treatments. You all are the best and we thank you so much for your faithful prayers. We'll let you know more after Friday's appt. Have a blessed day!
Only By His Grace - Trish

April 2nd:
Hey kiddos ... two more requests please ... Daddy Barney & his mom, Granny Pat are leaving this afternoon for Houston. They are spending the night with friends in Hope then will tackle the rest of the trip on Tuesday. Barney's first appt is Wednesday with scans on Thursday. I will update you all more as I know. Please pray for safe travels as well as the Team that will meet them at MD Anderson to get this chapter on the road and rolling. God's already there laying out the ground work ...

Forgive me but in the midst of my craziness I keep forgetting to post this. I have been meaning to put a note on here for an "adopted Pastor" that we came to love thru our Mimi Sharyn & Monica - Sarah Claire's family. We often visited Morrison Chapel Church in Cleveland, MS where we met their pastor, Bro John. Bro John is in the hospital, in ICU on a ventilator due to a condition called Weber's Syndrome. My understanding of this condition is very vague but he initially was hospitalized due to blood clots in legs, lung and one by his heart and he has been very critical. This all started about a week ago and he is still in ICU on a vent but seems to be stable and improving ... its a very slow process as he has been in a very serious condition. Mimi Sharyn keeps me updated thru emails and phone calls ... last word is that he is on 50xygen and they are keeping him stable. Lots and lots of prayers are going up all over for Bro John and of course, I would like to ask for the same from our faithful prayer warriors. God is in full control and has every minute detail worked out. Also, please pray for his wife Leigh Ann and their children ... she has her plate full and I know they would very much appreciate your prayers.

Hope your Monday is going wonderfully and thank you so much for your faithful prayers ... you all are the best - no doubtaboutit!!

Only By His Grace - Trish

Friday, March 30th:
Prayer Request - our little neuroblastoma friend, Jacob Acurio from Shreveport has something suspectious on his kidney. His neuroblastoma was caught very early and I believe he was stage II or maybe even stage I but he has been in remission for about 4 years. He has been on 6 month recalls at St Jude and they are going back in May to see if anything has changed. Please remember little Mr. Jacob and his family as they cross this scary hurdle together. With God ALL things are possible and we're going to take this little man to Him because He already has this worked out.
Thank you for your prayers ... we love you bunches and have a blessed weekend!
Only By His Grace - Trish

Monday, Mar 26th:
Howdy do to you all!

Where in the world does time go?!?!?!? For those of you who are "junior" to me ... get ready, you'll understand before long what I'm talking about. Shooo doggies!!

Ok ... quick update on Emma Grace's Daddy ... first of all, he is doing really good - feeling good, healing up good and in really good spirits. What was thought to be a 3 - 4 wk wait on the MD Anderson "getting in process" has now become a one week wait and he is scheduled to go to Houston April 4th to consult and get this show on the road. Barney said that he should be there the 4th - 6th at the least. What the definition of "the show" is at this point ... well, we don't know. That's what the appointment at MDA will determine I'm sure. Barney is so ready to get the ball rolling though.

He is healing up very well with his incision and the home health caregivers felt they would only need to see him this week and probably be finished as the incision is really looking good.

Well now ... how about that for some positive news? Things are headed in the right direction and we certainly do not know what's ahead but we know Who does. And yeppers ... He's got it all figured out. One of my favorite songs is "I Know Who Holds Tommorrow" ... and I want to share my favorite verse and chorus which certainly holds especially true with Daddy Barney's journey as well as all of our journeys ...

"I don't know about tomorrow;
I just live from day to day.
I don't borrow from its sunshine
For its skies may turn to grey.
I don't worry o'er the future,
For I know what Jesus said.
And today I'll walk beside Him,
For He knows what is ahead.

Many things about tomorrow
I don't seem to understand
But I know Who holds tomorrow
And I know Who holds my hand."

Thank you so much for your continued prayers, love and concern. You all are truly gifts that God has blessed us with and we thank Him for you always.

Only By His Grace - Trish

Friday, Mar 16th:
It's Friday again ...
Quick update to say that Barney's appt in Tulsa went ok. Any further treatment is on hold for the next 3 wks or so due to the continuous healing of the incision. It would be difficult to do scans with the open incision so the doctor suggested waiting to give more time to heal. He also felt that surgery is not an option at this time due to the advance stage of the cancer. The tumors are in both lobes of the liver so treatment plans are pretty sketchy right now until further testing is done. So ... we wait. (does anybody REALLY like this part???? that's what I thought.) But we'll just continue to cover this situation in prayer and God will lead the way.

We are ever thankful for your love, support and prayers. God is in control and continues to bless with dear friends like you. We love you and hope you have a wonderful weekend! Enjoy His Sonshine!

Only By His Grace - Trish

Thursday, Mar 15:
Barney's appt in Tulsa is at 3:15 today ... he is actually seeing a surgeon who will review all the previous tests and probably order more. Surgery on the liver may or may not be an option ... The concensus right now is that MD Anderson Cancer Facility is a strong possibility for treatments. I'll update as soon as I know something more definite. Barney is facing this head on knowing that God is in full control. He's in great spirits and that is nothing but God's grace ... period.

Ok ... you all are going to LOVE me over this one ... it's great fun besides a wonderful diversion from all the "reality" right now as we wait to hear from Barney's appt. And it's great exercise for the brain. It took awhile but I finally got all 16 between working. Have fun and know that we love you and thank God for you always!
***************************************
Read the following paragraph and see if you can find the name of sixteen books of the Bible that are hidden in the text: (I'LL GIVE YOU A HINT) Have Fun!

I once made a remark about the hidden books of the Bible. It was a luLU, KEpt people looking so hard for facts and for other it was a revelation. Some were in a jam, especially since the names of the books were not capitalized, but the truth finally struck home to numbers of readers. To others, it was a real job. We want it to be a most fascinating few moments for you. YES, THERE WILL BE SOME REALLY EASY ONES TO SPOT. Others may require judges to help them. I will quickly admit it usually takes a minister to find one of them, and there will be loud lamentations when it is found. One little lady says she brews a cup of tea, so she can concentrate better. See how well you can compete. Relax now for there are really sixteen names of books of the Bible in this story.

Howdy sweet Crew!

I decided the page was getting too long so I decided to quit editing and start a new page. So, if you need to “catch up” … check into the journal history.

It has certainly been “a week” so forgive me for not updating sooner … is it really FRIDAY?!?!?!? Holy cow!!! I have to admit … I’m pretty thankful to see Friday on the doorstep – I just don’t know where time goes. (it gets worse as we are getting older, eh?) Ok … enough of that!! Hahaha! Anyway … this may be short and sweet but I wanted to let you know the scoop on Emma Grace’s Daddy.

Daddy Barney is doing pretty well … he is being a good ‘patient’ for his mother and crew as well as the home health caregivers who have been seeing him twice daily until yesterday which they have decreased the dressing change / packing to once daily. Yeah!! They have all been spoiling him considerably. He has been able to get the blood sugars under control better with less “crashing”. Also, he went back to the doctor yesterday and they removed the remaining staples and said the incision appears to be healing well … slow, but well. They also decreased his oxygen usage which I know has to be a relief … a nose canula 24 hrs per day can be annoying, necessary but still annoying. So, there’s at least 4 AMENS in this progress report!!!

Next week is the big appointment at OU Tulsa to see the colon cancer specialist. Our prayer is that a clear, definitive plan will be laid out of which I know God already has worked out. Patience and faith, patience and faith … Whatever the path … God’s driving the bus and we’re just leaving it in His lap. Ok … so the specific prayer would be for the upcoming game plan to tackle this beast … clear and concise. Also, for Barney’s strength, comfort and peace in facing this battle. I can assure you there’s a sweet, blue-eyed Angel cheerleader and her many Angel buddies in his corner all rooting her Daddy on reminding him to hang tough and not to give up … oh that sweet baby girl – she set the stage, no doubt! All those precious babies set the standard for us and taught us more in their short lives than we will in full lifetimes. (I just wonder what the Heavenly cheerleading suits look like???? Knowing Jake, Stanton and Emma Grace (an LSU tiger at heart) they have convinced God that purple and yellow are the Heavenly Stadium colors. smile)

Thank you so much for the wonderful emails, calls and guestbook entries. I know I say this a lot but you cannot know what a blessing you are to us. The words just don’t compare to what is in our hearts for you. God is so wonderful to send you to walk this journey of life with us … no matter how smooth or rocky the road may be … you’re right there and we thank you. Amazing … just amazing. We love you and thank God for you always … have a blessed weekend and enjoy His Sonshine!

Only By His Grace – Trish

I received this email from Sweet Shug II in Minden, LA today and of course, God knew the timing was perfect and appropriate for whatever life is handing us to face. It's too good not to share so I wanted to share this with you all … I love that it reminds me to thank God in advance. much love!

DEAR GOD:
I want to thank You for what you have already done.
I am not going to wait until I see results or receive rewards; I am thanking you right now.
I am not going to wait until I feel better or things look better; I am thanking you right now.
I am not going to wait until people say they are sorry or until they stop talking about me; I am thanking you right now.
I am not going to wait until the pain in my body disappears; I am thanking you right now.
I am not going to wait until my financial situation improves; I am thanking you right now.
I am not going to wait until the children are asleep and the house is quiet; I am thanking you right now.
I am not going to wait until I get promoted at work or until I get the job; I am thanking you right now.
I am not going to wait until I understand every experience in my life that has caused me pain or grief; I am thanking you right now.
I am not going to wait until the journey gets easier or the challenges are removed; I am thanking you right now.
I am thanking you because I am alive.
I am thanking you because I made it through the day's difficulties.
I am thanking you because I have walked around the obstacles.
I am thanking you because I have the ability and the opportunity to do more and do better.
I'm thanking you because, FATHER, YOU haven't given up on me.
God is just so good... all the time.

Monday, March 5, 2007 7:52 AM CST

Well now ... never let it be said when you get all over praying for specifics that results won't come!!! Thank you for your prayers ... Daddy Barney is out of the hospital which is a big HALLELUJAH!! There was a hiccup with the insurance out of network thingy majiggy and so in order to get him the wound care treatment needed his doctors ordered a home health nurse to tend to his incision daily. So ... he doesn't have to go to Fort Smith afterall now. Thanks for praying for the bed availability he just didn't know it was going to be a familiar one. (smile) God already had it worked out though, eh?? Nothing is a surprise to him ... only us.

Barney's mother is an RN as well as his sister and sister in law so with the numerous dressing changes throughout the day and the continuous care he is requiring, he is getting some serious spoiling treatment with lots of TLC there. He is still having to wear oxygen all the time to try to keep his O2 sats up, his diabetes is causing a bit of havoc so they are adjusting his meds and he's still pretty sore from the incision. But all in all ... he's improving, slowly but improving.

He goes to meet with the specialist at OU Tulsa on March 15th to get the ball rolling on this battle. Please continue to pray the path will be clear on how to treat Barney for the best possible treatments in the battle of the beast. God's already there and got them lined out ... there is no doubt.

OKIE DOKIE ... let's throw some more good news in the hopper ... whattcha say? There's been alot going on with Eli and his walk with God which is an awesome experience. The update I was working on prior to Barney's diagnosis was directed at sharing this very journey with you but it's still on hold so you're getting the condensed and recent events version now. Well, last weekend our church took the youth to Youth Outreach gathering in Tyler, Texas. He called me Saturday to share some incredible news that he has surrendered to the calling of God's ministry. WOW!! I can't even describe it except ... WOW!!!! Talk about being humbled to crumbles. Once I could speak coherently again I asked what he felt God was calling him to do - preach, missionary work, what?? He's response was "Mom, I don't know what God wants me to do yet, I just know He's calling me and I want to do whatever it is He has for me." I'm talking some serious humbling for my 15 yr old to share that he acknowledges he belongs to God for Him to use in His minitstry however He sees fit. That boy is on fire for God and I can't even put into words what's in my heart right now ... my hearts overwhelmed with emotion that in the midst of everything ... He's still on the Throne, touching hearts in incredible measures and there is not a bit of doubt in my heart that God has a grand plan for what He has lined up for Eli. Does it remind me once again that these precious babies are just gifts that God shares with us and they really belong to Him??? Absolutely ... amazing, just simply amazing. Please lift Eli in prayer as I know with the committment he has made for God there with be adversity on every turn. But you know what? I've read the back of the Book and God wins ... period.

Well ... how's that for a bucket load in a half of great news??? As Barney continues to share and we truly believe ... God is good, all the time. We love you and thank you so much for being such a blessing to our hearts. God knew there would be friends and family just like you who would faithfully walk this journey. You are the best ... but then again, God only send His best and we're so thankful for you. Have a great day wrapped up in His Sonshine and be assured our hearts of full for God's precious gift of you!!

Only By His Grace - Trish

Friday, March 2 Update:
Howdy Crew & sorry for the delay in update ... well, Daddy Barney is still in the hospital and it looks like he's going to be for awhile. I know the days are long but ever so necessary. The incision is draining at a pretty steady pace especially when he's on his feet. The doctors have checked the next layer of sutures to find they are in tact which is good. There just seems to be a pocket that continues to drain therefore they have removed more staples and are packing it daily (sometimes several times daily) in order for it to heal from the inside out. They are transferring him to a wound care facility in Fort Smith, AR but do not have available rooms at the present. (ugh) They said it could be sometime next week. So ... Barney is staying put in Tahlequah, having to stay down quite a bit and trying to remember it's all part of The Plan. I truly believe God is allowing this time to heal - physically, mentally and spiritually. The road ahead will require the 'battle britches' (again) and now is a time for rest and healing. It brings to mind that God has told us in Ecclesiastes there is a season for everything. (You KNOW I love that part about laughing and dancing because Angel Emma Grace had those two down pat ... smile!)

The doctors want this wound to be on the fast road to recovery before starting the next phase of this journey in Tulsa. As of this week, they are leaning to radioablation - like our sweet Angel Jake had and chemo to try to get Barney in remission. But ... first things first, he's got to be better "on the mends".

You know what? God knows ALL about it, is already there getting the ball rolling and He's carrying the weight of the load. Ain't it amazing that no matter the size of our loads He never hesitates to put them on His strong shoulders and He steps never slow down? Steady and strong ... that's our God.

Ok ... specific prayer requests for Emma Grace's Daddy = availability of room at the wound care facility, peace to overcome the restlessness of having to stay put and strength to gear up for battle.

We love you all bunches and cannot thank you enough for your faithful prayers ... you truly are shining gifts from God who set our hearts ablaze with your love and compassion. May His Sonshine surround you ... enjoy your weekend!

Only By His Grace - Trish

Be sure and note verse 4 - I do believe our sweet Angel Emma Grace had the laughing and dancing part down ... don't you??? Ok ... my heart's smiling at thoughts of seeing her dance and hearing her laugh!

"A Time for Everything"
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 (NIV)
1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
2 a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
6 a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.

Tuesday, Feb 27th:
Well ... they were hinting yesterday that Emma Grace's Daddy may just get out of the hospital today but he is having some drainage from his incision so it looks like he's gonna stay put for at least another day. I know he is getting anxious to go home as we all know how extended hospital stays can be long ... much needed but the days get really long. They are definitely giving him the TLC and spoiling Emma Grace's Daddy just like they did her so many, many times thru her journey. Can you just imagine the constant flutter of angel wings in his room with Angel Emma Grace and her many friends zooming thru at warp speed?? There is no doubt she's right there with her Daddy keeping close tabs ... I didn't say she wasn't being a tidge onery at the same time. (smile)

Also, the CT scan report shows the same as the surgeon saw last Wednesday ... the 3 tumors on the liver and the lungs appear to be ok from all indications. Thank you Lord! The doctors have been on the horn getting the best options and specialists available for Barney and have referred him to OU Tulsa Medical Center for further evaluation and treatments. They will also do a PET scan and possibly more testing once he goes to Tulsa. God already knows what the battle is and Barney knows whatever it is ... God is all over it and already has it won. We're just trusting Him to lead the way ... doesn't mean we have to like any of it but it is what it is and for whatever reason, it's all in God's plan.

Thank you for your continued prayers, calls, emails and guestbook entries. You all are the best and you cannot know how you bless our hearts ... we love you & thank God for you always.

Only By His Grace - Trish
"My grace is enough for you. When you are weak, my power is made perfect in you." 2 Corinthians 12:9

Monday, Feb 26:
Good Morning ... sorry for the delay in update ... Barney is doing pretty well considering he just had major surgery yet he is still having some pain issues. He's on a continuous drip of morphene with boosts as he needs them which he utilizes often.

The doctor removed his bandage on Saturday and I was very surprised to see how well the incision looks it's huge but looks good ... I don't know a whole lot about incisions but it appears to be healing well. Barney's nurse, Mr. Bob said the same and was very pleased. Needless to say, it's quite the large 'zipper' but so necessary to do what was needed.

Barney started on clear liquids, jello, etc on Sat and told me that was the best orange jello he'd ever had. Well, I imagine so since he hasn't had solid food since last Monday ... shoe leather would have tasted good at that point. They are letting him start eating what he wants today and I pray that he can manage food well since his colon has just been resected.

He had a CT scan Sunday afternoon and hopefully, should know something from it today. Please pray the CT will give the doctors a clear picture of what is going on. The doctor has talked to them some about possibly sending Barney to Oklahoma City to a colon cancer specialist. There are 3 tumors on his liver which puts his cancer into Stage IV so a specialist in this department is a must.

Well ... I've tried to give you a better idea of what is going on ... bottom line, Barney needs our prayers. Treatments have come a long way over the years and I believe that God will direct each and every step of making the best decisions possible concerning Barney's treatment. God certainly is in full control and has everything and I mean, EVERYTHING worked out to the finest detail. Our job is to believe and trust Him to lead the way.

Thank you so much for your prayers, your concern and especially, your love. We love you and thank God for you always.

Only By His Grace - Trish

Thurs, Feb 22:
Barney rested well last night which is a huge blessing especially since he had such a tough day yesterday. The recovery time was quite lengthy - around 2 1/2 hrs and once he was finally awake his pain was pretty intense. So you know they got some potent meds on board quickly. His surgery lasted about 3 1/2 hours so much needed rest was on definitely in his best interest last night and I'm so thankful he was able to get just that. It was such a comfort to have one of our many treasured Hastings nurses taking care of Barney last night. She took care of Emma Grace while we were home and inpatient between chemos many, many times. It's great knowing she is in ICU now taking care of Emma Grace's Daddy and she's his nurse today again. I just imagine there are many precious, precious angel wings fluttering around Barney's room (probably brushing by those familiar doctors and nurses too as they come into his room) ... Emma Grace and her sweet little friends are certainly keeping close tabs on her Daddy. Thank you for your continued prayers and we'll be sure to let you know as we know. You all are the best and we are ever thankful God has sent us you. Carol from Florida reminded of something that I used to tell her that I'm sure someone shared with me early on in Emma Grace's journey ... "If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it." I'm so very thankful He is leading the way.
Love you all and thank you again!
Only By His Grace - Trish

Wed Feb 21, 2007 - 5:00pm
UPDATE ON DADDY BARNEY:
Barney is out of surgery as of 2:30pm ... last conversation with his brother was as of 4:30pm he was still in recovery as they were having a difficult time getting him to wake up. Barney is off the ventilator which is good and they are taking him to ICU as soon as they can get him out of recovery. The doctors were pretty confident the liver is very involved as well so they did a liver biopsy which should be back in a couple of days. They also took several lymph nodes for the same reason ... Barney certainly needs our prayers. God is right there with it all figured out and I'm quite sure that Angel Emma Grace is hanging close to her Daddy ... once a Daddy's girl, forever Daddy's girl. Thank you so much for the precious guestbook entries, emails and calls. You cannot know what a blessing you are ... and we thank God for you always. We appreciate the continued prayers. We love you.
Only By His Grace - Trish

Monday, Feb 19th Update:
Well … I started an update last week but it’s going to have to wait there’s more important issues at hand so I’ll save that update for a later date … I do apologize for the lapse in time for touching base with you all.

Last week was a complete week of roller coastering emotions … the anticipation of the KIX 104 St Jude RadioAThon for Thursday and Friday as well as doing a long distance remote for the Ronald McDonald House RadioAThon on Friday … two very dear places to my heart and Friday was the day to do the live stuff for both. Nothing like getting it over with early … it was all complete by Friday morning at 7:30 and I was just about toast. I don’t even have to explain what reality that brings front & center but my prayer is that one day and ONE DAY SOON other families will be given complete treatments options for this beast to be cured once and for all. So … that’s why we keep doing it. And you know us parents, we love talking about our kiddos, don’t we???

Friday would prove to ramp up with the emotional roller coaster … Angel Emma Grace’s Daddy has been having some medical issues which led to a colonoscopy on Feb 9th. His follow up visit was this past Friday and he called me to say the doctor just told him he definitely has colon cancer. At this time they are not sure what phase it is in except the doctor did tell him he has had it for several years due to its size. Evidentially, Barney had cancer during the entire time that our baby girl was fighting her own battle but just didn’t know it. He is having surgery this Wednesday to remove a large section of his colon and remove lymph nodes in order to determine if it has spread. They are also going to check the liver during surgery as this is a common place for metastasis to show up. The doctors feel certain he will have chemo but won’t have a game plan until after the surgery recovery and testing of the lymph nodes. One of the first things I told him was he had a very precious little teacher to show him how it’s done … he added, “that’s right and she did her treatments with dignity and grace.” Oh my, did she ever. Well, she’s set the bar for her Daddy, that’s for sure. Please lift Barney in prayers as he faces this critical surgery as well as the journey ahead. I know I’ve said it before and yep, I’m gonna say it again ... God already knows all about this and He is there … because you know, “He ain’t the leavin’ kind” as Rascal Flats sings which is one of Barney’s favorite songs he was sharing with me today.

Well, now you know why the other update will just have to wait … thank you prayer warriors and friends for allowing us to bring you our hearts and much needed prayer requests. I will be sure to report to you all as soon as I know something … as always, we thank you for your faithful prayers, your love and especially, your friendships. We love you all bunches … May you be surrounded by His Sonshine.

We have hung onto this verse many, many times during Angel Emma Grace’s journey …
Romans 12:12 “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.”

Only By His Grace – Trish

Monday, January 29, 2007 11:42 AM CST

WELL ... I KNOW YOU'VE PROBABLY ALREADY HEARD BUT ... I JUST HAD TO POST IT ANYWAY!!! Don & Staci have a sweet little Raborn Baby on the way!!! WHOOO HOOOO!!!! Talk about blessings from Heaven!!! Be sure to go read Sweet Jake's website and you'll just feel the excitement in Daddy Don's message. How very precious ... Congrats Sweet Raborn's!!! www.caringbridge.org/la/jakeowen

On another note - prayer request ... Ok ... I have a dear friend who's daughter has some "uncertainities" going on with some biopsies. Please lift them in prayer and I will share more when I know. They haven't really shared this with the whole family until they know for sure what is going on. Of course, we have discussed the St Jude route if that is the case but we're just leaving it in God's hands to work out the details He's already there and has it under control you know.

We love you all bunches and thank you so much for sharing in this journey. You are the best!

Only by His Grace - Trish

Friday, Jan 19th Update:
Well … Howdy do folks! This is one of those “grab a cup of java and sit a spell” … this could take a bit. It’s taken me all week to sort thru … well, you get my drift.

All is well in our neck of the woods … we narrowly escaped the ice storm that has hit the area with neighbors 20 miles north and 15 miles west of us who are still without electricity. It’s amazing how much damage ice can cause and so very quickly. Please pray their power will be restored quickly as it is causing problems for a lot of folks. We are watching closely as the weather is predicting more snow this weekend which can’t be good for folks who are still trying to recover from last weekend.

In my travels to Memphis last weekend, I ended up cutting my trip short because forecasts kept calling for the ice storm to hit as early as Friday, then Saturday but I couldn’t leave without completing the purpose of the trip. The weather cooperated just long enough – which God already had worked out (doesn’t He always??) … it was just one more thing to throw in the hopper of my “irons in the fire” so to speak. Let me tell you … what time I did get to spend in Memphis was WAY cool. I’m going to do my best to relay … but I still don’t think it’s all absorbed yet so pleez bear with me.

My flight went well Friday – I was relieved and a bit anxious, thankful yet still anxious as I had made it fine flying out but wasn’t sure the weather would hold long enough for me to get back into NW Arkansas. Anyway, sweet Laura became my ‘airport shuttle’ … which also gave us some great time together. After getting checked into the hotel we decided to head over to the Peabody to say hi to some folks and then get a bite at the Rendezvous. I haven’t eaten there in years … probably since the days of working for Dr. Beavers and Nancy Ann at the dentist office. (now … that’s been ages ago …) Laura and I had a great visit over dinner which we had not gotten to do since probably Feb of last year. I miss our long visits of just sharing time and hanging out together. She and I are usually pretty content with the fact that not much has to be said just that we’re together is enough. The night was a much needed rest and even much more needed quiet time because I knew there was a big day ahead. (really … I had no idea but I was soon to find out)

You know things don’t always (ok … seldom) run smoothly in my world and Saturday beginning about 8 am, was no exception. Nancy and I are on the phone watching the weather channel at the same time not wanting to admit that the predictions back home are not looking too promising. And you know how I am, I sure didn’t want to cave into the thought of cutting the weekend short because we had plans to go to Hope Sat. night and hear Rev Craig, then to meet the rest of the crew after church for dinner. Well … I finally vocalized to Nancy who agreed we probably better put off plans until the next trip and let’s get into high gear about rescheduling my flight. Long story made short, despite my best attempts on the phone with the airline, since St Jude had made the arrangements, our precious friend Lynda at the travel office called NW from home to rearrange my flight. Bless her heart … I knew if I had to go to the counter in Memphis and plead my case I would but it was better for it to be done prior to my arriving at the airport. A) I wouldn’t have had the time or B) the energy left to contend with a begging, pleading, wallerin’ in the floor hissy fit. So, pre-planning was a better option but I’d always leave the other on back up … just in case. (smile)

Now … keep this in mind … my flight now has been changed to 2:45p – the luncheon is from 1:00 to 2:00 and Nancy has graciously volunteered to blaze me back to the airport as soon as the luncheon was over. You’ll find out later how everything had to fall into place … we were too committed now. Remember … He’s already got it worked out.

Nancy decided that if we wanted to spend anytime at all together she’d better head downtown to the hotel prior to going across the street to the Peabody for the big shin-dig. We had a great visit and it’s always like ‘being back home’ whenever Nancy and I spend even the least amount of time together. This was one of those times that it certainly wasn’t quantity but quality of time. She’s just good medicine … and a precious friend. Of course, laughter therapy was definitely on the agenda.

Ok … now for the luncheon – I could tell you I was completely cool as a cucumber … but that would be so untrue but it got better (more in a sec). And to say it was just a quiet little lunch among a few friends wouldn’t cover it either – the Grand Ballroom was set up for 900 guests. But to tell you that it was totally awesome would almost describe it. I knew the my whole focus of what I planned and wanted to share could be nothing short of letting the folks of Country Cares know that God’s light did and continues to shine through Emma Grace’s precious yet short little life. And I wanted to focus on her St Jude along with that sassy, yet loving and spunky little personality she brought along with the package of life that she carried.

You remember that wonderful saying, “Life is not measured by the amount of breaths you take but the moments that take your breath away”?? Well, this my friends, was one of those times. We had met our friend, Jennifer from ALSAC at the duck fountain who took upstairs to get us to our table, get settled, etc. I have Nancy by my side who has hired on as supporter and warp speed chauffer. The minute we walked into the ballroom I quickly realized my breath has been sucked right out of my chest. There are 90 beautifully starched round tables set up perfectly for the guests of 10 and in each place setting there is a gorgeous PINK, 3 ½ x 4 ½, “trading card” of Emma Grace using 5 of her precious tater digging pix and on the back is a summary of her St Jude story. Ok … I wasn’t ready for this because I was absolutely speechless (not a good time for this, ya think??). Nor was I ready for the waterworks but maybe it was best to get them over with now rather than during her story, eh? Once again, St Jude has gone above and beyond in making one of our many trips here very, very special. Not knowing the agenda, I soberly realize that I’m probably the only parent speaker during this luncheon. (GULP!!) Well duh!! They wouldn’t have her picture all over these tables and there be multiple parent speakers. Needless to say, as much of a shock as it was, it was truly a comfort to see her everywhere. I knew she was right there with me without the photos but I always LOVE to see her as well. The ALSAC folks revised the slideshow that was displayed on both sides of the stage while I spoke but I only saw a few of the previews when they were testing it prior to the opening luncheon.

Well now … so when they opened the ‘flood gates’ to let the Country Care folks in for the buffet I realize that it’s time for me to slip outside for a much needed breather, go over my notes and mainly, to let God have this whole thing. I only thought I had it covered in prayer until I saw all these folks coming into the doors by the masses. I told God that I thought I had gotten in a wee bit over my head here and the last thing I want is for His light not to shine in sharing about her precious life and journey through St Jude. You all know it is NEVER hard for me to talk; it’s a natural thing for me ESPECIALLY when my sweet girl is the subject but I had such expectations of letting His light shine thru her. So, I prayed feeling very unworthy of this task and just laid it all at His feet.

Ok, to back up here justa bit and clarify, the Country Cares folks are station managers, DJ’s, sponsors, etc from radio stations all over the country who participate in the radioathons thru out to raise money for St Jude. The whole purpose of this weekend is to train them for the event, get them their formats with recorded patient story Cd’s, give them a glimpse of what an amazing facility St Jude is and especially, let them take back a portion of the experience that the children as well as the families take from here for the rest of our lives. Share the passion if you will, so they can share it back home with their listeners.

Jennifer had introduced me to Mr. Chris from ALSAC who would do the opening greetings and introduce Emma Grace, a short and sweet of her story then invite me to share her journey. I assured him that I’d try to keep my ‘story time’ as close to 15 minutes as possible. At 1:15 it all began and when Mr. Chris introduced me was when the answers to prayer began … it was as if my feet were not carrying me to the stage at all … the feeling was effortless beyond words and His peace had kicked into gear in place of my fears. As much as I would love to describe the PRECISE feeling I had at that very moment … I cannot, words just don’t come close. Let me just say, He carried me; I knew He was right there and it was precious. And it goes without saying … still is.

Once I got the first two sentences out of my mouth – which was an icebreaker with laughter not only for the group but especially me – the rest of Emma Grace’s story just rolled. I knew her slideshow was playing but I was oblivious to it, I concentrated on sharing the many facets of her personality, what and when brought us to St Jude and why St Jude, the incredible blessing of friendships that God had in store for us the minute we walked thru their doors as well as the RMH and Target House, her friends - of which I highlighted her Stanton and her Ali, how she was everyone’s girl with a gift of wrapping you around her little finger, her treatments that brought us to the pioneering phase of her journey and how incredibly blessed I am that God chose me to be Eli & Emma Grace’s momma. There were often times in sharing her crazy little stories the whole room was in laughter at her unique little personality, as well times when you could have heard a pin drop across this large room, and yes, a few times we shared tears in moments when I knew the reality was still so raw I didn’t know if I could continue but it had to be shared.

Ok … so you just got a brief summary of what took 30 yes, THIRTY minutes for me to share with this incredibly warm group of folks. It seemed I had only been there for maybe 10 minutes and I don’t think anyone gave me the “cut if off soon” sign … if they did, I missed it. (ha) God and Emma Grace had the floor, the attention of the room and we were having a good time together thru the laughter and thru the tears … I was just the messenger and had the honor of being able to share Emma Grace’s journey. And Emma Grace got a standing ovation for her precious little life which blessed my heart again, beyond words. I later found out from Jennifer that my 30 minute speech was fine and that nothing could have been removed from … it all needed to be said for her. She said they didn’t have anywhere to be until 2pm so it was just right, no worries. I feared that I had messed up the schedules and in retrospect; me being last on the agenda was advisable (ha!).

Mr. Chris said his thanks as we headed to the side door for the “great escape”. I loved hearing Mr. Chris say that he was certain the folks in that room had a clear picture of Emma Grace’s love, vision, to never give up and they would anxiously go back to their radioathons to raise lots of money for “her St Jude” as she always called it. Nancy and I rushed to the airport like there wasn’t going to be another flight for months … besides, my plane was scheduled to leave in 50 mins. YIKES!!! God had all the excitement worked out because we were definitely cutting it close. I threw my luggage at curbside, keyed in my ticket, hugged Nancy in warp time and was going thru security at 2:10pm. Now let me tell you … you ain’t ever seen a fluffy gal like me move in such forward movement before your life! Ha!

I finally exhaled when I sat on the plane, on the runway in take off mode and I was enroute home … along with the sigh of relief followed a stream of waterworks that would not stop. For once I was thankful to be in the back of the plane. I’m sure there are many factors involved … the obvious of course, just missing my girl; the fact that I’ve never gotten used to leaving Memphis – I love going there but dread leaving; also, the anticipation of the weekend, the weather putting excitement in the mix, the actual event of getting to share about our sweet Emma Grace. The bucket load of emotions that are included anytime we are brought to the reality that cancer is real, it became very real to us with sweet Emma Grace Oct 10, 2002, her many friends that became “our kids” and it affects so many of these precious children everyday causing their worlds to stop like ours did. Though the efforts of St Jude are endless, the cure is not here … yet. So … we keep telling folks about St Jude, about our precious children and keep moving on. It doesn’t mean we have to like how the journey goes … but we have to keep moving forward.

I have to say this and it’s just like I shared on Saturday … I think all, not just Emma Grace, but ALL of these precious babies are beyond amazing with their strength, bravery and ability to keep everything in prospective. They have life figured out – primarily because I believe God has gifted them in a way we cannot comprehend. But these precious children keep life simple, enjoying each day they have no matter how their package of life is wrapped.

Whew … when I said “bear with me”, I wasn’t justa woofin, was I??

We cannot thank you enough for your friendship and especially, your many sweet prayers not only for our family but all our friends who continue in this dreaded battle and those who have bravely fought and gone Home. There was no doubt in my heart that many were lifting me in prayer this whole weekend. God had everything in place and as wild as it sounded … it was more excitement than worry. That’s answer to prayer, my sweet friends and I thank you. We love you more than words can ever, ever say … God overwhelms me with many gifts of the heart … and friends, you are certainly precious treasures. Thank you for continuing in the journey with us … and you know, let’s keep looking up ‘cause it’s Homeward bound!

Only By His Grace – Trish

Thursday, January 11, 2007 1:07 PM CST

Hey Sweet Ones!!

Just a quick note to let you know that we’re here and still going in high gear. I can honestly say ‘high gear’ was never in my vocabulary in the past but these days that seems to be the only one I know. (ha) Angel Emma Grace would be so proud … she never had any gear but WIDE OPEN all the time! Can you imagine that same speed in Heaven??? I’m certainly God has the energy to handle all those sweet babies up there that are all in HIGH GEAR ALL THE TIME!!!

To say this week is Bizzy would be an understatement … it’s ok though. I was out of town on business in Michigan on Monday and Tuesday. Of course, playing ‘catch up’ at work for being gone two days is always the norm. It was really cool Tuesday as I was flying out of Toledo as there were spotty snow showers, the sun would shine then a few more flakes would fall. Once we finally able to leave we climbed above the clouds and there it was … the most beautiful pinkish red sunset dancing across a solid floor of white clouds. It was the very type of clouds that Emma Grace once asked if she could walk on. I couldn’t help but smile thinking she was getting her wish as I know good and well she’s already asked Jesus by now … because as she told me “Jesus will wlet me.”

Well … I haven’t said much until now but I have an upcoming Memphis trip this weekend for the Country Cares training event with the honor of sharing our sweet Angel Emma Grace’s journey. I'll be speaking Saturday at the luncheon in the Peabody. Emma Grace LOVED the ducks there but was more interested in where they lived on the roof than watching them waddle to the fountain. So we always had to make a trip to the roof. Anyway, St Jude is putting a slideshow together of her that will play while I’m speaking … that’s probably a good thing, dontcha think? They’ve told me to expect about 15 minutes of talking … HELLO?!?! You know me, it’s going to be tough to keep it under that limit. (ha) It’s always good to share her story especially to help the cause of St Jude in their efforts to bring in more funding to find the cure. I was thinking the other day about the first time I ever spoke for St Jude was at the Country Cares weekend. Say a prayer for safe travels as I will be flying out on Friday not only for me but all the folks who will be traveling to Memphis for this event.

Thank you so much for the heartwarming emails and guestbook entries from those who have “met” Emma Grace through her story in the St Jude letter sent out this month. I got to see the finished copy of it yesterday and I have to commend ALSAC for doing such a wonderful job. They used several pictures of our girl as well as Nancy’s song. Of course, they used a Tater Diggin Dance picture. What a blessing that makes my heart smile!

Ok … for those of you who have put off getting a copy of Christal’s CD … don’t. Seriously, it is INCREDIBLE!! I have laughed out loud listening to that sweet baby girl. What a remarkable little performer. I listened in awe of her determination knowing where she was during that part of her journey. I told Chris I could see all the hard work she put into it was well worth whatever it took. What a tribute to Christal and Chris. I realize she had lots of help with the wonderful contributions from some very gifted talent. But you could see Chris poured her heart into this project in honor of precious Christal. Along with my laughter, I shed a few tears – some of sorrow, some of joy and some for being so wonderfully blessed that Christal and her precious family came into our lives. It’s like I told Chris … I’ll never like the reason that brought us together but who would have thought God had such blessings in store and I can’t imagine life without her now.

Ok, so much for the “quick note” (ha! Go figure) … please continue to remember all the children who are still in the fight with this beast as well as those sweet families who now have Angels watching over us from above. We love you and thank you always for your continued prayers, your love and especially, your friendships. God is certainly incredible to bless us with you!

Only By His Grace - Trish

Tuesday, January 2, 2007 9:42 AM CST

Our sweet little man, Brent Nason, earned his Angel wings this morning about 7 am. What a brave, precious little fighter and is dancing with our little angels as we speak ... my heart is broken for his dear family yet I can't help but be thankful that Brent is talking to God face to face as we speak. They've had some wonderful talks over the past weeks and now, they're really getting to do some serious talking!! Can you imagine???

Please lift Link, Tonya and the rest of the Nason family in your prayers as they face each day. I know they would love to hear from you at www.caringbridge.org/ms/brentnason

Thank you sweet friends ...
Only and I mean, ONLY By His Grace - Trish

I've attached Max Lucado's "Grace for the Moment Vol II" for today's reading. I know it is just what God wanted me to hear today ... reminding me that God is with us all ... I'm so thankful and especially, that He is holding our sweet Nason family close during this difficult trek of the journey. Love to all ...

The Lord Is With Me
Tuesday, January 02, 2007

You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, the comfort me.
Psalm 23:4 NKJV

"You are with me."

Yes, you, Lord, are in heaven. Yes, you rule the universe. Yes, you sit upon the stars and make your home in the deep. But yes, yes, yes, you are with me.

The Lord is with me. The Creator is with me. Yahwek is with me.

Moses proclaimed it: "What great nation has a god as near to them as the Lord is God is near to us" (Deut. 4:7 NLT).

Paul announced it: "He is not far from each one of us" (Acts 17:27 NIV).

And David discovered it: "You are with me."

Somewhere in the pasture, wilderness or palace, David discovered that God meant business when he said: "I will not leave you" (Gen. 28:15).

**************************************

Update from Dec 28, 2006:
Howdy do and Happy New Year, too!

We trust everyone had a wonderful Christmas ... ours was good ... we stayed busy but then again, busy is good.

Eli seemed to really enjoy his Christmas ... he got the mp3 player that he has been requesting (ok ... begging) for the past year or so. It was pretty easy to buy for him this year because he wanted clothes and my brother & sis in law had gotten him a DVD player so I started his movie collection. Seeing he is 14 y/o and pushing 15 he needed his own razor, especially since I'm tired of him snatching mine! ha! Eli was my primary focus to make Christmas as "normal" as possible and I think we accomplished just that. So, all in all, we had a good Christmas.

In mentioning that I feel Christmas in general gets so 'out of whack', I decided rather than be completely frustrated I would do something out of the ordinary and cross a hurdle or two this Christmas. I have been 'harboring' some things of Emma Grace's that are absolutely doing her no good any longer and decided someone needed to get some good from them. There was a special trike and matching wagon that my brother had gotten for her that she loved and also, a cd boombox with microphone she had gotten for her last earthly Christmas in 2004. I decided to find someone that needed some special gifts for their little ones and so I did. In fact, God placed these families in my path the very day that I had made my request known. Amazing, is it not? I can honestly tell you that it did my heart good ... probably better than anything I bought this Christmas. There are still other things that I need to go through and "let go" but ... I'm pacing myself. (smile)

I trust you enjoy the new rainbow pic that I just added ... rainbows make me happy and always remind me of my sweet Emma Grace as she loved them but especially, God's promises to us. I had found the verse and loved it then found a perfect picture of the rainbow with a quiet road symbolizing our journey thru life. Though I wasn't successful in finding a rainbow pic with a road that had jagged boulders in its path. (ha) But all of life isn't that way and this picture just had the peaceful message I was looking for. Oh how thankful I am this journey is Homeward / Heaven bound!!

Please continue to lift Mr. Brent in your prayers ... God is giving him some very special and peaceful visits. It's quite awesome to read what Brent is experiencing during this part of his journey. Also, please lift his sweet parents up as they stand with courage by his side. There are amazing parents and dear friends. cb/ms/brentnason

Also, please remember the families who are still in the battle of the beast with their babies and especially, the families who have watched their Angels go Home. Every day is a challenge but the holidays are even more tender.

We love you all dearly, thank God for you always as your friendships are priceless. Have a blessed new year!

Only By His Grace - Trish

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