This is my story about Barbara A. Gould

Barbara A. Gould (wife)
In the summer of 2014, I was diagnosed with transitional cell carcinoma, cancer in the left kidney. Surgery to remove the kidney would be the only option to prevent the spread of the disease. By August I was scheduled for a full nephrectomy and the surgery would take almost seven and a half hours.
Following the surgery and three days in intensive care due to internal bleeding, my wife, Barb, drove me home and for the next two weeks nurtured me back to strength and to begin the months-long healing process.
During this same time, she was also caring for her aged parents, Bill and Delores, both of whom had been diagnosed with severe cognitive decline: Bill with Alzheimer’s and Delores with dementia.
Following the procedure to remove the catheterization from the kidney surgery, I contracted a urinary tract infection and was hospitalized for four days. Barb’ father, Bill was rushed to the same hospital the day following my admission. He had suffered a heart attack. Barb was there for both of us and spent as much time with us as she could while still caring for her mother; making sure she was safe, fed, taking her prescriptions, paying bills, lawncare and other household duties.
During one of Barb’s visits to see me and her father, Delores fell at home and fractured a vertebra in her back, requiring hospitalization. Barb remembers finding her, calling the emergency personnel and having to have her feet bound to the gurney to keep her safe.
My UTI healed, but the antibiotic IV used to clear up the infection damaged my only kidney. I was then diagnosed with stage three Chronic Kidney Disease, requiring a strict diet. Bill was transferred from the VA Hospital to the Tennessee State Home for Veterans, Alzheimer’s ward.
In November of 2014 the cancer had spread to my bladder and following surgery to remove the tumors, I began chemo treatments.
Delores was moved from the rehab facility and placed in assisted living.
Barb spent twelve to fifteen hours a day caring for me and visiting her mother and dad, driving me to and from the 39 chemo treatments and continuing to manage our household, medical bills, prescriptions and arranging for an estate sale of her parents’ home and belongings. It was all beginning to take a toll on her.
The day before Thanksgiving, November 2014, Barb’s dad passed away. Her mother passed away just two months later, January 2015.
During one of my chemo treatment procedures, my oncologist, Dr. Keegan, took us aside in private consultation and urgently advised Barb that she needed to take care of herself.
Looking back, I don’t know how she managed through it all. We took Dr. Keegan’s advice, and for a short reprieve we spent a week at the beach. It certainly was not enough for Barb to regain her life balance, but it put us on the path to her recovery.