I am not quite sure how this works- does an update go to you if I make a new journal entry?  I suppose if you signed up to have it sent to you then it will update you!

It is painful to come to this sight.  I was suppose to be posting updates on Z's treatment.  We never got a chance.  I am angry, sad, disgusted, hurt.  What a journey.  I know Z does not want me to wallow.  I know Z wants me to live.  His body couldn't but mine can.  His spirit is all around.  I will make Z proud.  

Z loved instragram.  I need a way to share with folks and remember/ honor Z.  So I have started an instragram account- welovezenzi.  Please follow me.  Some posts are inspirational but others will be hard to read.  Our society seems to avoid grief, or grieving people.  Let's put a stop to that.  Be vulnerable.  All the advice to us grieving parents says FEEL YOUR GRIEF.  Walk through it, not around it.  Also find joy, even if it is only a little at first, it is there.  Read about an amazing thing that happened to us yesterday, on the instragram account.  If you don't have instragram, start an account and only follow me if you don't want to deal with it all.  Download the app and it will take a few minutes to get started.  
Join me on my journey.  Hell yeah I am sad.  My life is shattered but I will rebuild, remembering and honoring my child.  I have a lot of people to help heal as well.  
I remember ZENZI!