Well, I never intended to take a year "off" from updating my incredible network. Let's just say, it's been a roller coaster and I've been holding on tight.  

We've had many positive experiences like going to Hunter Mountain and St. Pete as a family, spending time with friends/family, and just the simple joys that are found each day. We laugh a lot and that is all I could ask for most days. It has seemed though that each time I processed enough to start writing, the next wave or challenge came. 

Just after my last post, in May 2023 we had a scare that very few know about. The fear that surged through me when I saw Dr. Lukens cell phone number on my phone, not even 3 hours after my MRI, violently threw me back to December 21, 2022. I've struggled to update since. Typing now is bringing tears to my eyes. 

There was swelling in my sinus/eye cavity area. Radioloy felt it was likely due to allergies, but Dr. Lukens needed to hear directly from me; how was I feeling, was I having any headaches, and what was my intuition telling me. I felt fine, I hadn't noticed any changes. But, the damage was done. I left work early that day as I couldn't get rid of the pit in my stomach reliving that day in 2021, waves of dread washing over me that I'd have to look at Steve and my family while delivering awful news once again. 

There was only one thing that could be done.  Wait and pay attention. My next MRI in August 2023 would confirm if the swelling persisted or if it went away. Needless to say, both Steve and I had increased anxiety with every "nothing". Thankfully, August allowed us to breath again. Everything was and is stable.

My MRI two weeks ago was completely stable. I've actually gained some more movement on my left side and found more effective ways to cope with the nerve pain. 

I haven't found the right therapist yet, but through one of the most amazing humans I know, I found an incredible Reiki healer that has made a tremendous impact for me. I've had wonderful reiki practitioners before, but this time I'm healing in ways I didn't realize I needed to. Challenges haven't subsided, but she helps me find my way back to my inituition,. After working with her I'm focused, refreshed and find it easier to be fully present in the every day moments while navigating the particularly hard ones. 

Many of you know that I firmly believe the universe and our loved ones show up for us. Daddy has visited; a few times he has shown up in the most "Daddy" way I could ever expect. Early in the year,  I was having a particularly difficult time at work. Burnout, frustrated and with no real solution in sight. I got in the car that afternoon and as I was getting entirely to hard on myself, "We're Not Gonna Take It" by Twisted Sister came on, followed by Bruce Springsteen and John Mellencamp. I knew Daddy was giving me his support, encouraging me to scream/sing and let the emotions out so my mind could find the rational way forward. He comes in the playful, pokey, joyful way I love remembering him most. 

Work continues to be a passion and a challenge. An area of life that is brimming with inspiring possibility but, at times, poses what feels like impossible challenges. Such is life. Easterseals is now a proud partner of the Philadelphia Union - I can't wait to see how that relationship grows. We are in a season of change. Change is hard. But change is also necessary and the growth on the other side of change is amazing. 

DJ is growing fast. In all the ups and downs, I do my best to spend time each morning and night playing with nothing else invading my mind. Soaking up everything about him as he changes.  Hi, it's me, I'm the problem - I still lay in bed and snuggle until he falls asleep if he asks. I only get one baby and I'm going to spoil him in some ways with no guilt. I know these young years move quickly.

Steve continues to be the shoulders that wrap me tight and make it all feel better. I've always contended that it's harder to be a caretaker than the one being cared for, he navigates it well. 

I miss my friends deeply.  I need to make more time to see them all. I also had to admint that my tank has been empty for the better part of a year. It's rebounding and I'm thankful for that. 

Summer is here. Pool and beach season bring joy to my soul and air to my lungs. 

I appreciate you all. I appreicate that you support me when it's been years of struggle. I'm grateful that through the struggle there is light, growth, success and baby giggles turning to little boy giggles. 

From the bottom of my heart, thank you for being part of my journey. 

Liz