Journal
Gosh, I didn't realize it has been since December 19th since I last posted on the Caring Bridge site. My apologies. I have been busy fighting this dang cancer and I finally have some good news. Today, June 5th, also marks one year since I first heard the words, "You have cancer". What? Wait. Me? You've got to be kidding me. The last 365 days (due to leap year) have been filled with lots of emotions, many not that great.
I remember June 5,2023 as if it was yesterday. Pat and I were working on the beach and I just didn't have the energy to continue to help so I stopped. Later that evening, I told him I needed to go to bed. I could hardly walk up the stairs, collapsing when I made it to the bathroom to brush my teeth. When I finally made it to bed, I started throwing up blood. I was to weak to yell for Pat, however, he finally heard me and I asked him to call 911. It was after the CT scan was done that I heard those dreaded words (about 2 am).
So what has been going on since 12/19/2023? ALOT.
This is where I will give you a warning - long post coming!! lol
January 9th, I underwent surgery with the top gastro/pancreatic surgeon at the Mayo Clinic. I felt very fortunate. The plan was to do a partial gastrectomy and removal of the cancer that spread to my esophagus. My biggest fear was I would end up without a stomach. Well, my biggest fear came true. I ended up without a stomach and quite a bit of my esophagus had to be removed too, which didn't give the surgical team the option of making a pouch for "stomach". Let me tell you, I was devastated! I had to learn a brand new way of life. I have adjusted to the new way of eating fairly well but still have my struggles. Eating is such a huge part of a persons social calendar. I couldn't enjoy going out for a meal and drinks with friends as I could only eat soup and I couldn't have anything to drink while I ate (including water). Anyway, I have progressed quite far.
I have lost a lot of weight and have a new problem. None of my clothes fit!! I wanted to lose weight but I don't recommend getting cancer to do it. I haven't bought a new wardrobe yet as I am still having surgeries and I don't know what size I am going to end up being (I am guessing anywhere from a 0 to a 6). The other problem is saggy skin, yep, if I could donate skin I would. hahaha.
In Feb. and March I had three more rounds of FLOT chemo and that does a job on your body. Just when I hair was growing back, it started falling out again. boo!!! And it continues to fall out in clumps today. I had to go through this rough chemo to kill any remaining cancer.
In late April, I underwent another surgery for a HIPEC treatment. During the observation part of the procedure, new cancer was found, however, they weren't prepared to remove it. This was a tough pill to swallow. That led me to my latest surgery that I just had this last Thursday, May 30th. At my pre-op with my surgeon, I learned he would not be performing the surgery as he tore his bicep muscle and was having surgery the next day. Oh my! One of his partners took over his patients and I was able to keep my surgery for the same day. There is more to this story so if you are interested, please let me know and I will share it.
I had about 10-12 cancer spots that needed to be removed and then another HIPEC treatment. The surgeon wasn't able to get all of the cancer via biopsy and had to cauterize the ones he couldn't remove as there was a risk of leaving holes in my esophagus. FINALLY, we got good news. No new cancer was found! And the visible cancer I had was successfully removed!!
So that leads us to today. The one year mark of hearing those dreadful words. I do have another HIPEC surgery scheduled for August 9th and we are hopeful that will be the last one I will need and then I will move to surveillance.
I apologize for not posting for some time, as it was difficult for me to digest and difficult to write bad news after bad news. I was hoping that one of these times I would finally have some good news to share and today is that day. :)
Thank you all for your prayers, love, and support. It has helped knowing I have a village rooting for me.
Kari
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