Offering Support: How to Help Someone in Grief

When someone we know or love is experiencing grief, our first impulse is to reach out. Yet, this impulse is often accompanied by a fear of saying the wrong thing.

Grief is a deeply personal, often isolating journey. That’s why offering thoughtful, sensitive support to those you care about is so important.

Here, we walk through many ways for you to be a source of comfort. We hope you find these helpful during a time when the right words seem just out of reach.

13 Ways to Help Someone Who is Grieving

Reaching out to someone who’s actively grieving can require courage. But the more information you have about what has worked well for others, the more willing you’ll be to reach out to those you wish to comfort.

1. Acknowledge the loss

The first step to take is to simply acknowledge the loss. This lets the person you know that you see their pain and that you recognize the enormity of their loss.

This acknowledgment can be expressed in various forms—a card, a message or a call. What’s important is the intention behind it: to show empathy and sit with them in their moment of grief.

How to implement: Reach out with a simple message that conveys your sympathy and your readiness to listen whenever they’re ready to talk. Here’s an example: “I was so sorry to hear about [Name]. I can only imagine how you must be feeling, but I’m here for you in any way you need. No need to rush a response; I’ll reach out again in a while if I don’t hear back from you.”

With this simple gesture, you’re providing a space where their grief is recognized and validated.

“Do something. Say something. A quick phone call, a note, a text If you don’t know what to say, say that. Just let the person know that you are thinking about them. It’s hard enough losing someone you love, but the silence from everyone else is very isolating and lonely.”

Chandra T. H.

2. Do not pressure them to respond to your message

One thing to remember when reaching out to someone who’s grieving is that they’re under no obligation to respond. Grief consumes energy, leaving little room for social niceties. Ensure your message is a beacon of support, not a demand for engagement.

How to implement: In your communication, make it clear that there is no expectation for a reply. For example: “I’m just touching base to let you know that I’m thinking of you. No need to reply; I’m here whenever you need me.”

This approach offers a gesture freely given without adding to the burden they’re already carrying.

3. Be present with them

Physical presence can be a powerful form of support, as long as it’s provided in a way that meets their needs and respects their boundaries. Being present can mean many things. For example, listen to them share memories of the person they lost or simply do everyday activities together without the pressure to talk.

How to be present: Offer your company for specific tasks or moments, like a walk in the park or sitting together in their garden. “May I join you on a walk this week? No need to talk, just to get some fresh air.”

Your presence can offer a comforting reminder that they’re not alone. You show them that there’s support available in whatever form they may need it.

“Just sit with them. Sometimes words are not necessary, just a comforting hand.”

Colleen R. K.

“Sometimes no words are needed, presence means a lot, and a big hug. The words will flow.”

Mary O.

4. Offer support with specific tasks

The vagueness of “let me know if you need anything” can seem hollow for someone in grief. Offer specific forms of help to make it easier for them to accept support.

Specific offers: Identify tasks you can help with and offer them directly, such as, “I’m going to the store; can you send me your grocery list? Or would you like me to walk the dog this afternoon?”

By offering specific forms of assistance, you reduce the mental load on the bereaved.

“Actions speak louder than words! Just being present can/will mean more than words can often say!”

Marilyn M.

5. Bring the bereaved person while you run errands

For someone navigating grief, the world outside can seem daunting. Including them in your errands can offer a gentle way for them to re-engage with the world.

Invitation example: “I’m heading out to do some errands and would love the company if you’re up for it?”

This offer provides connection and normalcy, allowing your loved one to step out into the world with support.

6. Give them the opportunity to feel a sense of normalcy

People in deep grief can feel like no one can really relate to them in their current state. Inviting them to participate in something that was normal for them before their loss can be very helpful.

What to offer: Ask them to do something you know they like to do. If they see movies in theaters often, ask them to go with you to see something you think they’d like. Any occasion will do: “I know you would normally go to bingo on Friday nights. Would you like to go together this week?”

These small actions invite people to reinhabit their own lives. If they don’t respond with a “yes,” you could still keep offering low-pressure activities they’re used to doing. Be sure to respect their answer either way; they may not have the energy for activities yet.

“It was comforting to me when friends asked me over for dinner or took me out to lunch. One friend, who did not know my deceased brother, took me to lunch and asked me what he was like, and just let me talk about him. It was just what I needed.”

Deb R.

7. Be present at the funeral or memorial service, if possible

Attending the funeral or memorial service is a significant way to show your support and respect for the person who passed and those who were left behind. Your presence at such a time can convey a depth of support that words alone cannot express.

What to say: “I’ll be at the service to support you. You’ve been on my mind and in my heart.”

8. Connect them with helpful resources

Navigating grief can feel isolating, but there are resources available that can offer support. Good options include a health platform like CaringBridge for coordinating support and sharing updates or local grief support groups for connecting with others in a similar situation.

How to approach: Gently let them know about the resource.

If you suggest a support group, you could say, “I know some people who found comfort in this grief support group: [support group info]. Let me know if you’re interested, and I’d be happy to join you.”

If you find a resource to share with them, you could say something like, “I found this website, [name of resource, for example CaringBridge], where you can share updates and coordinate help easily. I can help you set it up, if needed.”

9. Help them set up a fundraiser

If financial burdens accompany their loss, offering to help set up a fundraiser can provide tangible relief.

Actionable step: “I know times are tough right now. I’m willing to organize a fundraiser for you if it could help you.”

This type of support addresses a real need while continuing to give your loved one the space and time to process through their grief.

Tip: If you set up a CaringBridge to support your loved one who is grieving, you can connect it to a GoFundMe page to make the fundraising process easier. Visit this link for more information.

10. Respect their boundaries

Everyone grieves differently, and it’s crucial to respect the individual’s boundaries during this time. Whether they need solitude or company, silence or a chance to talk, respecting their wishes is a fundamental part of providing support.

Mindful practice: Be attentive and ask for their preferences. “Would you prefer some quiet time, or would you like someone to talk to?”

This approach respectfully reinforces your support without being overwhelming or intrusive.

11. Bring easy, freezable meals or food delivery gift cards

In the aftermath of loss, daily tasks such as cooking can seem monumental. Offering easy, nutritious meals or food delivery gift cards can provide support that eases one aspect of their daily burdens.

Practical advice: Prepare a few freezable meals that can be easily reheated. When delivering them, include a note that says something similar to, “I’ve made some meals for you, so you don’t have to worry about cooking. They’re in your freezer whenever you need them.”

This is a hands-on way to support someone whose heart and mind are elsewhere during the grieving period.

“Everyone reacts differently to grief. Don’t say, ‘I know what you’re going through,’ as everyone’s experience is unique. Offer a meal, ride somewhere, lunch date or just be there.”

Diane B.

Tip: Check out this website for make ahead freezer recipes. Be sure to consider their dietary needs or restrictions when choosing a recipe.

12. Use sensitive language

The words we choose can significantly impact those grieving. Focus on those that convey empathy and understanding while avoiding clichés or expressions that might minimize their feelings.

Guidance: Although these words are intended to provide comfort, avoid using phrases that could feel insensitive. For example, they may want you to avoid saying, “They’re in a better place” or “I know exactly how you feel.”

Carefully choosing your words shows that you’re approaching their experience from a place of compassion.

“Let them talk. Mention their loved one. To be remembered is respectful. Never tell them their loved one is better off now.”

Mary K.

13. Stay connected after the initial wave of support has slowed down

As time passes, the initial outpouring of support often diminishes, but the grieving process continues. Staying connected, offering support or simply checking in can make a significant difference during this extended period of grief and is so important to someone who is grieving.

Continued support: Regularly reach out with messages or invitations that remind them they’re not alone. “Just wanted to check in and see how you’re doing. Can you join me for a walk or coffee on [date] or another day soon?”

By offering sustained support, you continue to carry your loved one through their grief as it morphs over time.

“Try to be in the second wave. The first wave comes to help you in the immediate moments of your grief when it’s fresh and raw. After everyone else moves on with their lives, they may feel forgotten and abandoned; be the one who shows up and introduces them to the new abnormal. The life without them but with you – your companionship.”

Myra W.

“Just saying ‘I’m here for you’ and showing up anyway regardless with a call, card, or words of encouragement was really helpful. One thing I still appreciate today is when my nephews call me at least once a month to make sure I’m okay. Every time they call, it’s always right on time.”

Tonya H.

How Would You Suggest Someone Support a Loved One Experiencing Grief?

Supporting someone in grief requires a delicate balance of empathy, patience and respect for their individual journey. By offering specific, thoughtful forms of support, you can provide moments of light in a time of darkness.

How have you supported someone through their grief? As a community, let us band together to remind those in grief that they aren’t walking this path alone.