I have been so concentrated on recovering from this last foot surgery I had in February I haven't even thought of my boobies!!! You all know how close Annabelle, Sammie and I are..... It was one of those, "What's wrong with your boob, MOM?" Kind of thing. Well basically my left nipple was inverted, BARF!!!!
On the 15th, I went in for an annual exam, the 16th I spent 3 hours at the Piper Breast Center, the 17th I had a bunch of biopsies, the 18th was delivered the diagnosis, Breast Cancer. (FUCK) The formal terminology (every cancer is different) is INVASIVE DUCTILE CARCINOMA, HER 2 positive, which means my hormones are feeding the tumor.
A lot has happened since last Friday. Emotions, Denial, choosing multiple doctors to be on my team.... We have chosen Dr.Rueth to be my Oncology Surgeon who will be doing the double mastectomy, Dr.Schaefer (good looking' fellow) to rebuild my boobies and then we chose the infamous Dr.Bloom as my Oncologist. All we hear is he is the BOMB!!! I have an awesome nurse who is my care coordinator who is my leader throughout all this. She's with me to take notes at every appt and coordinate all of the appointments. You know you have to be a pretty amazing human to do that job!!!
My little brother, Jeff, had the pleasure (kidding) of going with me to hear the dirty details at our first meeting with my Oncology Surgeon, Dr.Rueth. I think Jeff and I were both going into this thinking we got this early and could have the surgery and be done with this mess. Unfortunately that is not what we heard. There were so many big words that went over both of our heads. What we did hear was this is going to be a long haul and a battle! We also heard CHEMO! SHIT! (We all know I have a potty mouth! I am just warning you this isn't making it any better! So DEAL with it!!!) I will also have to have a hysterectomy which is really just fine with me! Who wants periods anyway?
I was so grateful that Jeff was with me at this time! Our family is NO stranger to serious medical issues, with his serious car wreck at 16 and learning how to do everything all over again; watching our father die of ALS at 58 and then his Mom, our Grandma, die of Cancer & broken heart after watching both of her children die before her. UGH!!! That's one thing I would not be able to handle!!!
So another thing we are going to have to learn how to do is: HURRY UP and WAIT!!!! Surgery won't be for another 30 days. It's kind of like having a wood tick, you find it, kill it and then you feel like it's crawling all over you!!! I now know I have a tumor and my mind is playing all sorts of tricks on me! There is a lot to tackle before this so I will learn to be patient. I have many doctor appointments and have to have the small procedure to put the chemo port in. (SHIT) I guess my days on Tinder are over!! I'm sure my Mom is happy about that!! :)
I will share one victory I had this week! It may be small but I'm taking it!! They only found one "suspect" lymph node in my ultrasound so my surgeon said she would just take it during surgery and that I could wait to start chemo after the surgery not before! Thank God, I wasn't ready yet!!! I had Jim, my Mom and Jami in the waiting room and it felt pretty damn good knowing they were there!! It takes a village!
I have said this to so many I've spoken with in private but I will say it again, you want to find out how much you are loved? Get Cancer!!! It's not just me who is going through this! I do not feel alone one bit! I have always felt blessed with so many amazing people in my life but never felt the amount of love and gratitude I do today!
CANCER can FUCK OFF!!! I am not done yet!! Bring it Bitches!!!