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Treesie's Cheer Tribe !
8/5/2016 Latest post:
Bad News first....
CT Scan detected a mass/ lesion in the upper lobe of my left lung. It's about the size of a silver dollar.
There is also one enlarged lymph node about the size of a quarter located in the very center between my two lungs.
The major concern there is the possibility of metastasis somewhere else in my body.
The Good News is that the right lung is clear and spotless. The other bit of good news is that it appears that if there is malignancy, it's early stage.
Miraculously, we were able to get a work-in appointment with the Hematological Oncologist on Thursday, August 4, 2016.
When Dr Bijal Modi entered the consult room, having studied my CT Scan films closely, he immediately took figurative hold of our hands and said to us, "We need to move fast, C'mon, let's go. First, we need a Pet Scan...and a CT Scan of your abdomen...and we'll schedule a biopsy...then we'll put together a treatment plan ..." Dr Modi is very personable, compassionate, very proactive. I feel that I'm in good hands. He pulled up the CT Scan films and showed us exactly what we're dealing with. Three things were of concern to him : 1) the lesion/mass in the left lobe is spiculated - meaning that its margins are not encapsulated and, so, more likely metastatic; and 2) that lesion/mass in the lung appears to butt up against my aorta which will make it difficult to extract. and 3) something of grave concern which we did not know until today : the presence of a mass/lesion on my liver.
Apparently, the above translates to Stage IV.
Today, for the first time, when Dr Modi revealed the facts/speculations above, I saw terror in Dawn's eyes. And, although I myself am not at all afraid and inexplicably I am at peace with whatever comes, I inwardly vowed to do everything I can to erase that terror from her face, her heart. I will fight this monster with everything I've got. This beast and I will engage in a staring contest - and I will win. Perhaps, a long time from now, maybe in my 92nd year or my 99th, the beast may return, and then I will choose to resign my body to it. Maybe, then. But not now, not yet. I have things still to create, places to go, people to love. In the words which Jennifer Hudson sang, And I Am Telling You I Am Not Going.
There you have it. This is my second adventure with cancer, 25 years later. I stared down the dragon then, and I'll do it again. I am not prostrate with fear and panic. I am frankly not at all afraid. I woke up this morning feeling the close presence of my mom and dad, enfolding me in healing peace and the knowledge that all shall be well. I am surrounded by love and light and joy.
However you appeal to God - a Higher Power - the Universe - I hope you will do so for me and for Dawn. It would be so appreciated.