Nov 26, 2021 Latest post:
Dec 23, 2021
So . . . I've had a heavy heart with my grief since losing Bill in March and now I have a new part of my story: I have a little bit of breast cancer. Just found out this week. I'm not freaked out about it but I need to tend to it and take good care of myself to vanquish it. With Bill's death, I have been blessed with so much loving support from so many and I'd like to tap into that pipeline of love again as I tackle this new challenge.
I'm setting up this Caring Bridge site so that it makes it simpler for me to share what's going on. I have already been operating on low energy with widowhood, so the thought of having this webpage to share details is a godsend. (Of course, feel free to reach out to me individually too, if you'd like, but I may be a bit slow to respond.)
I'm going to use this page to share the medical stuff (not TMI I hope) and list some ways I'd love to have help and support.
So here's the beginning of my breast cancer story:
In early November, I had a bad mammogram and then had more tests and a biopsy and found out that I have two cancerous clumps of cells that I’m calling C3s (my terminology) in my right breast. They are considered small (1 cm and .6 cm) and I will have them taken out with a lumpectomy in a few weeks. I’m considered to be in the 1A stage. Regular annual mammograms are so important; I never could have felt these as lumps and so early detection is such a blessing!
As I said, I’m not freaked out by this. I feel like it’s a nudge by the universe to really think about what I want to do with my next life’s chapter. I have been feeling a lot of despair about the world, and a lot of specific negative things in my world, lately and I’ve been feeling resentful of how much energy my grief takes. And the absence of Bill in my daily life - the fun, the conversations, the adventures - has been unimaginably hard. It's been a stressful eight months in general.
I think these two small cancer cell clumps are asking me if I want to be “in” or “out” with life and if I’m “in”, then start living by getting rid of things that are toxic to me and go back to living with more fun and joy. So I’m "in" and I’m going to vanquish the cancer cell clumps by taking better care of myself. I don’t think it’s going to be hard.
Specifically, I have two small C3s in my upper right breast. They have some differences between the two, which could be troublesome, but both will get scooped out, along with a half dozen lymph nodes (to check) with one lumpectomy to be done in mid-Dec (upon my return from trip to Isla Mujeres, Mexico. It was already planned and I have to wait for some genetic testing results anyway).
From the treasure trove of info we get from the surgery, we will figure out a treatment course - might be 5-7 weeks of radiation, maybe no radiation, may be an estrogen blocker. I will decide after we know more from the pathology results.
My surgeon is a straight-shooting little spitfire, Dr Jane Hui, and I love my oncologist, Dr Stuart Bloom. I have never met a more charming, interested doctor and he “gets” me and my perspective.
So for now I need to take good care of myself and work on energetically shrinking these C3s, between now and surgery.
I’ll have the surgery in mid-December and between now and then, I’d like some prayerful visualizing help to energetically shrink the cancer cell clumps.
A couple times in my life, I’ve been a part of several concentrated prayer-visualization groups that, at a specific time every day, would pray for healing for a specific thing for a dear ones. My experience was that it was powerful and it made things better for the friends I was praying for; and I believe the “group thing” makes the healing energy exponentially stronger.
For the next couple weeks, until my surgery, would you take a few seconds or minutes at 10:05 am and/or 10:05pm (I’m going to set my phone alarm and do both times) and pray-visualize my breast cancer cells to shrink and go away and that I am restored to beautiful strong terrific health?
I am also setting up a Facebook “Call to Prayer” group. You can find the link on my FB page. If you are going to join me in praying, I’d love it if you’d join the group. On the FB group page, I’ll share some of the things I’ve loved about doing specific-time group prayer-visualization and it’s nice to get notes and comments from others too. I would love to know who’s in the prayer circle with me, so if you're doing it, please let me know :)