Sally Griffin SallyPerkinsCheerleaders

I am one of those people who is in denial a lot.  I take care of myself, therefore I expect to beat all illnesses and not get the bad ones.  Therefore, I do/don't do things based on the erroneous idea that I am invincible.   I didn't get mammograms.  I did self exams.  I had no history of breast cancer in my family - check!  I constantly worked out - check!  I had three children and breast fed all religiously - check!  I was in good shape - check!  And then I felt a lump - oops X!   Made an appointment quickly - check!   Got a diagnostic 3-D mammogram and ultrasound...and when they came into my room while I was changing and offered a needle biopsy on the spot - I knew.  There was a guarded look in everyone's face, although the radiologist and the nurse were very positive about many things, it was obvious that I had something outside the realm of a cyst.  I went home and waited.  That was August 4th.  The next three days were hard.  The nurse called that 3rd night with the results.  Invasive lobular carcinoma.  "Don't read anything on the internet," she said.  I then read everything on the internet.  "You are unique and all that info will scare you, " she said.  I know I am unique, and guess what?  When you have something, you want all the information, no matter how scary it is.  Yes, I was - and still am - scared.  But, I have now met with my wonderful surgeon and know the plan, or most of it, and am in good hands.  I know that I am not a candidate for hormone therapy because I am tested negative for both estrogen and progesterone in the cancer cells.  However, I also tested negative for the HER2 gene - which is a good thing, because having this means it would be a more aggressive cancer.   My ultrasound and mammogram showed nothing in my lymph nodes, but we're gonna make sure during surgery by testing a few.  So, on Sept 6th I will have a lumpectomy with a couple of lymph nodes pulled to make sure they are really clear. Then, based on what they find during surgery, I may have 4 doses of chemotherapy and radiation to follow.   That's where I am now.  I am more scared of the chemo than the surgery.