Leslie Shelton My journey with leukemia

In 2018, after 4+ years with issues with  my labs, leukocytes,  white cell count being high, then real low, I finally found what was happening. I kept going online and looking at what it could be with my symptoms. It kept coming  back that it was leukemia.  I brushed that off stating that after over 4 years they would have actually diagnosed me  with it....I was wrong.
There are specific tests that must be done. I was persistent  and asked to see a hematologist.  And finally I did.  Many tests were done. 14 vials of blood were taken.  I was called back to see my oncologist/hematologist  who stated I had something called leukocotosis.   I was told it's also is known as a very rare cancer that approx 1k people in the USA have. Most oncologist have heard of it, but dont know much about it or how to treat it.  So my husband took me for a second, third and even a 4th opinion. It always came back the same. Then  I was told on May 4 I had something called  LGL leukemia. It's a rare type of Leukemia.  
I remember  crying wondering why me? What did I do to deserve this. I was mad and sad all at the same.  So many mixed emotions. So once it sunk I made it my goal to find a doctor who knew how to treat me  and this rare leukemia.  I was still very afraid. I want to see all my children married, I was to see and hold grandbabies etc. That was my dream. And I was fearing It wasnt going to happen but so far I have seen my oldest son and my daughter  and their spouses were married. Then a few months ago we were blessed by news that both were expecting and my daughter and her husband is due end of June  and my son and his wife are due the first week of July. 
But it seems my dream became my nightmare. Still in many way as I must now move away to a lower elevation to help me breath as I am on 3 lpm currently .