Rebecca Bailey Grammie'sNewJourney

First post: Jan 2, 2017 Latest post: Jul 17, 2017
This new journey is not exactly how I was planning it would go.  My Hubby, Tom, and I were planning on going on a church mission with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  Before getting approved for a mission, we have to go through a lot of paperwork and get physicals with usual tests to make sure we are healthy. We also have to see eye doctor and dentist.  
Well, I had one last test to take.  I had to wait several weeks for my appointment.  The day finally came.  
Oh I must tell you I have s real issue with asthma. Most anything with a scent I get an asthma attack. When hubby made the appointment for me, he stressed to them my condition.  
So, just in case I wear a thick surgical mask and have my nebulizer bag in my hand.
The ladies were very welcoming.  The sterilized the room and then aired it out for me.  We were ready for the test.  Without thinking, the worker squirted 2 lumps of sanitizer on her hands. Once it hit her hand my sensitive nose caught it.  I went into a severe coughing attack.  I race for my bag and attached the parts immediately to try to breathe. She apologized over and over. 
Too say the least, it took a while for me to get this simple mammogram completed. 
A few days later, I get a letter that says they have a problem with the mammogram and they want to do it over.  Ok, so I figured because of my asthma attack, the pictures were not good. Hubby sets me up again with another appointment.  At least this time I didn't have to wait several weeks. When I got there, the ladies had tape notes on all the sanitizer boxes on the walls. The washed their hands with soap and water and made sure the exam room was aired out. 
The pictures were taken again.  Still they did not like what they saw.  I was still under the impression that it was the machine and not me.  They sent the pictures so where and returned to tell me an ultrasound was needed.  Okay, I agreed.  When? I asked.  Now.  So, I had the ultrasound done. Still, it did not register that I might have something wrong with me.  They asked me all the usual questions. I answered all with no, no, no...  I saw the ultrasound screen. It had a massive red rectangle box on it.  I still was not concerned about it. 
A short while later, a doctor comes in to talk to me. He says he is very worried about the mass in my left breast. I should be thinking I too, should be getting worried.  But, no.  He says I need a biopsy.  Okay.  Do you have any questions? The doctor asks me.  Yes, I reply.  Will I be done with all this by the end of the month.  My hubby and I are going on a mission for our church and I need the paperwork sent in by January 1st.  He said, he didn't think it would be done by then.  He would see when the biopsy report came back. 
So, Tuesday, December 27, 2016, I have the biopsy done.  He said I would a report 3-5 days. Well, that is cutting it close to send our mission papers into Salt Lake. 
On, Thursday, December 29, 2016, my primary pyshician calls.  You know, doctors do not call you without reason. 
I was out doing errands so I missed the call.  When I returned home I called the office. They put me on hold, the male voice on the other end, identified himself. It was my new doctor. He said he had bad news for me.  I asked what news could be bad.  He received the biopsy report and I have cancer in my left breast.  
Without much thought, I thanked him for the call and was ready to hang up. He was still talking.  I put the phone to my ear again he was apologizing for having to do this by phone, but the office was closed for the holiday. I said it was no problem. He insisted on continuing to talk to me. He asked if I was okay. Yes, I replied. 
He was still talking.  He was telling me I had to go pick up some referrals for oncologist, surgeon, radiologist. I don't think I can do that, I told him.  I am not afraid of cancer.  I am afraid of asthma attacks. 
After s bit,I agreed to pick them up.  He again asked if I was okay. I assured him I was fine.  
Next thing I had to do was call hubby.  I waited a while debating if I should wait until he got home. The doctor stressed these appointments needed to be made before close of day, because of the holiday. 
So, after pacing, I finally called him.  As always, he took charge of the situation and I did not have to worry about anything else.  He's a Good man! I am so grateful he is mine!!! 
So, we made it to the first appointment. The oncologist.  She said an operation in definitely in my very near future and chemo and worse of all medicine. If you know me, medicine and I have some difficult times communicating.  I have a problem remembering to take it. 
I am not concerned about the operatin or the chemo or even the radiation!  My fight is with a little tiny pill! Now, I know that is such a ridiculous issue!  For me, it's like climbing a jagged mountain.  So, if any of you want to help me!  Remind me I am bigger than a pill.  I can do this!! 
When we finished with the oncologist, it was time to tell the kids and then the relatives. I know how difficult it is to receive news of a love ones having cancer.  I wished I did not have to tell them, but that would not be right.  We wanted to tell the kids all st one time, but with the holidays that was not going to happen. We decided to tell them oldest to youngest. Tom jr. , Melissa, and Valerie. Then it was time to tell the relatives, and then close friends. 
All received the news quietly and calmly.  I know all them will do their utmost to do whatever it takes to be here for me.  Whether it be a phone call or note in the mail or texting, I will have so much support my heart will be overwhelmed with their love for me.  So this is the beginning of my new journey. It is not the mission I wanted to go on and I know that it sure was not one of the picks of places we wanted to go, but we both are ready for the challenge!  I know God and Jesus Christ are at my beckon call. I know my biological family as well as my closest friends who are not biological, but in my heart and soul they are my family. God had to allow other families to share in my wealth.  You all are my strength and anchor to knowing God lives and Jesus Christ lives today to take this burden off my shoulders and let the doctors and team deal with all the rest!!!  

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