Betty Avary

First post: Jul 25, 2020 Latest post: Jan 19, 2021
In the fall of 2017, Betty was diagnosed with cancer. No cancer diagnosis is "good", but we were told that the type of cancer she had was highly treatable and the outlook was promising. Over the next year and a half, Betty received treatment and was able to continue a normal day-to-day life. During that time, she expressed that she wanted her diagnosis and treatment to remain private. We knew that the more people who knew meant more people we would need to update. Betty emphasized that she wanted to spend her time focusing on healing and living a normal life, not constantly explaining and updating others, each time dragging her back into thinking about it. If you are learning about this for the first time, we hope you understand that it has nothing to do with your relationship with Betty, Robert, or Erin.

In Jan 2019, Betty finished her final treatment. We rejoiced and were happy to leave the experience in the past.

We had a full year and a half of believing cancer was gone, however in July 2020, Betty's ENT doctor ordered a CT scan after she got laryngitis from what she thought was allergies. The scan showed a lump pressing on the vocal cord nerve, as well as lesions on her lungs.  Subsequent scans confirmed cancer had metastasized to her lungs, liver, and bones.

She will start treatments immediately, however the prognosis for metastasized cancer is not as optimistic as localized cancer. We have been told that those with metastatic cancer can live for years with treatment, but that the care will be palliative (meaning her treatment will be to optimize her quality and length of life, not to completely erase cancer).

Over the next few weeks, we will know more about her treatment plan and what to expect with how it will affect Betty. We appreciate your desire to want to help. Due to the current situation with COVID-19 and the immune depleting nature of chemotherapy, we are withholding from creating a Meal Train or allowing favors. That may change, depending on the complexity of the treatment schedule or what Betty and Rob need help with. You can be assured that if we need help, we will post about it here.

This is Erin, Betty's daughter, who is writing. We will be using this site to keep family and friends updated in one place. I will be periodically posting updates on Mom's status. We kindly request that you honor Betty's time to rest and be with family by turning to this page for news updates rather than asking her, Rob, or me personally. Direct emails, texts, or phone calls may seem like kind gestures but can be overwhelming when coming from so many people. We very much appreciate your prayers, support, and words of encouragement posted on this site, and will be thankful to have a singular place to turn to when we are needing support.

Our current prayer requests:
- That God performs healing
- That Betty's current pain is  minimized and will stay that way in the future
- That we are all protected from COVID-19
- That Betty is protected from the side effects that can accompany treatment
- That we are given time, peace, hope, and joy

WORDS FROM ROB:

Family and Friends,
This news will be difficult to hear. I’m very sad to be sharing it.  
There’s a lot I could say in this first post. Erin summed it up well. 

We couldn’t be in a better place to have world class treatment and care.  
The angels attending to us are extraordinarily caring, and really smart.  
I’m married to the woman of my dreams.  
Betty is a strong person and is demonstrating how strong she is, every day.  
Our focus now is on activities that we could not have believed just a few weeks ago.

It’s very difficult.  We want you to know that when we need help, we won’t hesitate to ask for it.  I’m a pretty good cook.  Betty is the naturally talented chef in our family, but I can chop and stir and follow a recipe.  Our refrigerator is full.  
We miss you.  Pray for us, and our world, please.  

My prayer, for some time, has been - Strength For Today, Bright HOPE for Tomorrow.  

We love you.
Rob

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