10-12-14

I don’t believe that it’s a coincidence that tonight marks the start of the Hunter’s moon and today marks 5 years since Hunter went home to be with our Lord.  I think it’s just another reminder from God that Hunter is doing great and that he is still with us.  It was that way on his first birthday falling on Easter after he died, and his birthday had never fallen on Easter at any time during his 14 years.    

It still feels like yesterday and the emotions are still as raw as ever.  We still cry often. Maybe not every single day, but at least a few times a week. The pain is a little different as well.  The heart hurts, but it has gone from an unbearable hurtful pain to more of a…missing him pain and wishing he was with us as we journey into this new phase of our lives.  We talk about him every day; laugh over the things he would say or do and try and honor his legacy by continuing to speak his name and have him never be forgotten.  We miss him terribly and would do anything for just 1 more day.

I’ve known others who lost relatives close to them and we all process differently.  Some don’t recognize the milestone dates, especially not the painful one of the day they passed.  For us, it’s a day to remember, honor and celebrate Hunter’s legacy.  It’s strange, but it’s the days leading up to an important date (birthday, would be graduation day, death) that are so hard and this week was no different.  It sucked!  But when the actual day gets here, we transition from the sadness to more of cherishing what we had with him.  We cook his favorite meal (steak and shrimp - he had expensive taste) and watch one of his favorite movies (Transformers) and just tell stories of what his short 14 years meant to us.

Our lives have changed over the last five years.  We lost Hunter, then my Dad two years ago. Then we almost lost Zach to a head-on with a drunk driver.  But we also had some awesome things happen as well.  I started working for a new company 3 years ago and working for the same person who hired me at my first job way back in 1993.  Robin started teaching Language Arts at our middle school and is in her 3rd year.  She has a heart for kids and is passionate about teaching them.  And then there is Zach.  Zach is a senior in college, but that isn’t the exciting news.  Zach just got engaged to his high school sweetheart, Mistery, this past weekend in Mexico and we are looking forward to adding a daughter-in-law to our family, or as Robin says, daughter-in-love. 

With all these changes, we have entered into different phases of our lives.  We no longer have sports as the center of our social network or gatherings with everyone we hung out with years ago.  Some of that was natural as kids grow up and head out to college and some of it was just us withdrawing from a previous life and starting over.  With that said, we are forever grateful for all the love and support over the years, no matter where life has taken us since.  We cherish those memories more than we can ever express.   

I will never forget the night of Hunter’s memorial service. We were sitting outside around 9:00pm with just family when I received a text from our friends that we would hang out with after every football or basketball game.   They texted and said they were all together reminiscing about Hunter and wanted to know if we needed anything.  I said, “We could use some company”. The next thing you know, the entire group (about 30) showed up at our house.  We talked, laughed, cried and played basketball until wee hours in the night under the lights. I think it was after 1:00am or perhaps later when everyone went home.  Then, just about 2 months ago, we were at a wedding of one of our dear friends and we heard stories about Hunter some 5 years later that we had never heard.  It melted our hearts and cherished the fact that they were still speaking about his legacy and even still wearing his Hunter’s HOPE wristbands.

I hope that after you read this, you stop, take a deep breath, then go hug your family tight.  Call your parents, give your spouse a long kiss and give the kids a great big hug and never let them go.  Tell them how much they are loved.  We are not promised tomorrow, so enjoy every day.  As we say at the Neelley house…It’s about “Making Memories”.  Today, we celebrate Hunter’s life and his legacy. God Bless.