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Zachary Mason German 
"Where there is great love there are always miracles" - Willa Cather
A Prayer for Papa's Little Man
There's a little man named Zachary
That's on everyone’s prayer list
From Virginia, West to California
Not a prayer for him is missed
There are his Nanas and his Papas
And his Mom and Dad of course
There’s his sister, cousins, aunts and uncles
We’ve tapped into every source
This child is very special Lord
He touches all of our hearts
So please listen when we tell you
You can’t take us apart
Be there with the doctors
In his Mom and Dad's despair
And touch them on the shoulder
Just to let them know you’re there
We know you don’t make deals and things
By no means is this our request
But when it comes to Great Physicians
We know you are the best
I’ll leave you with the business
Of all the miracles you do
Saving souls, lives and everything
Won’t you please heal Zachary too
I’ll Gladly take his place oh Lord
If that be in my test
I’ll bear it and give you the Glory
Because we know that you’re the best
Gary R. Brewton "Papa" |
"Every child born into the world, is a new thought of God an ever fresh and radiant possibility."
- Kate Douglas Wiggin
This page was designed to update friends and family on Zachary's fight against Hemophagocytic Lympho Histiocytosis.
Journal
Sunday, December 21, 2008 8:47 PM CST I have sat down many times, my hands ready to share the experiences, the memories, the love… I have gone to bed thinking that tomorrow will be the day that I share with each of our loyal friends and family, who continue to stand in our corner. When it comes down to it, I have found it difficult to put my thoughts in writing; to share my sadness for the continued feeling of loss that my heart sustains every day; to share the depths of the happiness that I feel for my family on a daily basis, and then the paralleled grief that I continue to feel in my heart. Today, felt like the day. The strength was there and I received it through a poem that I will share later in my journal.
As I said above, my heart continues to ache for the presence of our wonderful little boy. Time numbs the pain of loss, but it does not ever take away the desire to have Zachary sharing in our daily routines. Zachary would have turned five this year. He would have entered kindergarten and ridden the bus with his big sister. He would have been deciding what sports he would or would not like to play. I can honestly and truthfully say that this year has been more challenging for me emotionally. I deeply miss his presence. I find myself wondering what kind of little boy he would have been; would he have had the constant smile on his face like his daddy, where people wondered what he was up to, or would he have just been silly sweet and honest as the day is long about all his mischievous ways. Either way, it would have been an absolute joy to witness his life as a little boy with two sisters that would have no doubt showed him the way. One day, eternal life with our little boy will be treasured.
Our life outside of missing Zachary is blissful. Max and I could not love our little girls more than we do. They place smiles on our faces and expand the love in our hearts to overflow. The laughter and the love and even the occasional battles are truly a daily blessing. Through our loss we have learned not to take our life with our children for granted. Life is short, it is sweet and it is to be cherished.
Sydney is good. She is our loving little girl that embraces her memories and looks forward to the new ones. She is enjoying school and loves the learning process of all of it. I think her favorite pass time is anytime that she can socialize. She has become an avid reader and this thrills her parents. She played soccer in the fall and is looking forward to enjoying soccer in the spring. Her soccer skills improved greatly and helped her to enjoy the skill and competitive nature of the sport. Sydney performed in our church Christmas pageant where we were finally able to convince her to take a speaking part. She did great, which did not surprise us since she is a very dramatic child. The sound of the piano continues to have a presence in our home as her lessons are expanding the keyboard. She looks forward to Christmas and sharing it with her little sister. All in all Sydney is a busy little girl that is growing up entirely too fast. We are proud of the beautiful young lady that Sydney is becoming.
Makenna is the spring in our step and the smile on our faces. She is fun and we are enjoying her immensely. She accomplishes all things at a sprint, leaving nothing left unturned. She has a zest for life and is the true embodiment of living life with a smile and a solid AMEN! She is talking up a storm and repeating things at times we wished she wouldn’t have heard. I am sure all parents can relate to this. She is a little girlie girl through and through; she must have her necklaces and bracelets on and is a fan of shoes. She loves music and can even sing a few verses of songs on her own. She dances, she is playful, she loves her baby dolls but her absolute most favorite thing in her world right now is Minnie Mouse. This little one can spot Minnie from a mile away and it brings a cheer to her voice and a skip to her step. It is precious. She is very observant and tries almost anything she sees done and usually accomplishes it. She is well on the road to being potty trained and is determined to be a big girl like her big sister. Too sweet! She loves the Christmas trees, the lights and the festive nature of the season, she expresses how everything is “pretty”. It is beautiful to see the world through a child’s eyes!
On the medical side of life, knock on wood, things are great. We stopped doing pre-cautionary blood tests on Makenna around March and we have not looked back. She has experienced one major illness that included fever, severe cough and a rash in May. Then, during that she had an allergic reaction to the medicine that she had to take so it caused further concern and a longer recovery. Other than that she has had a couple of other minor illnesses and has actually recovered faster than her sister did. We only do blood work when her pediatrician is concerned about her illness and what her counts may be doing. When she is sick we watch them very carefully. We started her immunizations in August and so far she has had four and has done well. We do one shot every 6 to 8 weeks and we do not do anything if there is any question in our mind that she is sick or if she is coming down with something. I am very cautious about her being around people that are sick and to be honest that is not a change for me, I have been like this since Sydney was a baby. We do what is necessary to keep our family healthy; unfortunately, it is sometimes out of our control. Today, she is healthy and happy and growing. It is a blessing and we are extremely thankful.
As a family we were able to take a much needed vacation to Walt Disney World in April. This is where Makenna met Minnie Mouse. We never imagined at such a young age it would have such an impact on her. My sister and her family flew to Florida to enjoy the week with us. It was great to have the children share their Disney experience together. Max actually worked part of the time (we were there because he had a business trip) and then when he was off he spent time with us at the many parks. We learned that Sydney loves thrilling rides and is more daring than we thought. Max was thrilled, since he is always on the lookout for a great roller coaster. This year has allowed many great memories together.
I would ask that you keep Ethan and his family in your prayers. He has recently undergone his second transplant for HLH and they are awaiting results of donor cells. Also, there is a little girl, her name is Emerson. She is a beautiful 2 year old girl who needs the prayers of each of you. She has had a multiple organ transplant and is struggling with many issues. She really needs a break and time for her body to heal. Please lift her and her family up in prayer for strength and healing. Your prayers are truly appreciated and help so very much!
As the year comes to an end we are forever grateful for the memories that we have shared together. We are grateful for the love, the prayers and genuine care that each of you have continued to show as we journey through each day without our beloved Zachary in hand. We thank you, we love each of you and we welcome a year full of blessings, health and happiness for all!
May God bless you and yours as he continues to bless us!
Merry Christmas to all and to all a Good Night!
In the beginning of my journal I had mentioned a poem that I had received that I would share. This poem comes from a Mom of a St. Jude child and it is touching and beautiful.
The Chosen Ones
By Jeanie Kane
Not just any child could walk this uphill road.
These children walk it everyday, carrying a load.
They show us heights of courage we may never reach.
They show us what it is to fight a fight we cannot teach.
We stand beside them knowing there is no guarantee.
Except the one we started with, to love them endlessly.
They are the special chosen ones, God knew it from the start.
He picked each child for cancer by measuring their heart.
The ones that measured biggest would someday face a test.
The challenge is to understand, God loves them more not less.
He's using them to move our hearts closer to his own.
Teaching us to trust his plan and fear not the unknown.
For God can move a mountain and part the raging sea.
He wants our struggles offered up and given forth to Thee.
He smiles upon the chosen ones before they're even born
And blesses them with courage to walk through any storm.
His love for them surpasses ours and cannot be denied.
For in the dark of suffering, his light will not subside.
No matter what the outcome, there is the greatest peace.
In knowing deep inside their hearts, his love will never cease.
Good night and God bless!!!
Read Journal History
Hospital Information: HEAVEN'S PLAYGROUND
Links: www.sharethelove.org
CLICK HERE to become a bone marrow donor
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