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Monday, March 7, 2005 6:18 PM CST

We are moving ahead and looking forward to some warm sunny days. We are definitely over the cold. I want to be outside with the kids. Planting flowers, cleaning the yard etc. We are all a little house crazy. Lindsey and Hayden and been battling sinus infections over the past couple of months. Finally they got rid of it....they decided to give it to Mom. So I have been on antibiotics etc. I finished the course on Sunday and by Wednesday was feeling horribly again and by Friday had a fever of 100. The first fever I remember having in years....ugg. Anyhow I am feeling somewhat better. Hopefully I will end the cycle of the sinus infection......

We had a potluck dinner for the TNT runners for the summer session. It was nice to meet everyone. These people give up so much of there time, energy etc. to raise awareness and funds for Leukemia. We are very fortunate to have become involved and met the wonderful people we have.

Both girls did wonderful on there report cards. A few weekends ago we had the opportunity to go snow skiing with
Special Love, the kids cancer camp, up in Cannan Valley, WV.
Well you all know we love to visit ER's on vacation. This time it was poor Loren. She fell and fractured her wrist snowboarding and has found herself in a hot pink cast. Which seems really cool at first. Now I think it's quit annoying her. Hopefully it will come off March 31st.. If not I think she'll have Grandaddy take a saw to it.

We are approaching the anniversary of Tanners death. I am hoping the aniexty and anticipation of the day is worse than the actual day. I have accepted that I am forever changed. It is not the same as growing or evolving. It is as if your are changed against your will. I am not sure I know this person. Not sure I like her at times. After much reflection Lindsey situation changed me in so many positive ways. Tanner's did not. It is more of a struggle. I am working on her though.

Thanks to all who continue to check on us. Please know our love and prayers continue to be with all those still fighting their battle and those families who are without their loved ones.

Sincerely,

Lisa

oh ps. Lindsey's counts were back to normal at her recheck.

Wednesday, February 9, 2005 8:53 AM CST

Hello everyone,

A much needed update! Things are well. Lindsey has had the cough/viral thing....forever, but oncology wise she is great. She is out of school today. She and Hayden both have fevers. They can't seem to shake the whole cough thing. Needless to say between them I haven't been getting much sleep. That's ok though! We can deal with colds.

Otherwise the kids are doing great. Reports cards came in and both girls did wonderful. Lindsey has a really awesome teacher. She really loves school.

Brian and I are continuing to plug away at improving the house. We have about 3 years to catch up on. We got new windows, carpet and Brian made me help clean out the garage (nightmare)! By the way it was all of his stuff! Anyhow we are trying to keep busy.

Janet...miss talking to you. Hope all is well!

Lisa

Tuesday, December 14, 2004 7:31 PM CST

Hi everyone,

Hope all is well. Hopefully Brian will update the picture soon.

The news is Lindsey did get a skull fracture from the fall from the golf cart. The radiologist at KD read the scan and then called in a Neurosurgeon because she had concerns about the the area surrounding the fracture. He immediately came down and concluded that it was a contussion.....no bleeding. Ok, you can breathe now..this is exactly how I was told. Let me tell you, it made my stomache do somersaults. The main thing is there should be no short term or long term effects. The fracture will heal on it's own.

Right now LIndsey is battling a cold and sinus infection.Fingers crossed, Loren and Hayden are healthy.

The second annual "Adopt an Oncology Family for Christmas" is going great. With the help of several churches, Old Navy and two families from the clinic we are going to help three families this year. I love that everyone got involved but the best part for me is the help from the oncology families. It really shows that it is a full circle. A special thankyou to Cheryl Weeks and Marion Swaim. Also to Jen Miller and Katie Revell who were instrumental in organizing Old Navy's involvement.
These kids deserve a wonderful Christmas and the parents deserve not having to worry about how they're going to give it to them. I truly think we have accomplished this!

We hope everyone has a wonderful Holiday!

Thursday, December 2, 2004 2:29 PM CST

Hi everyone,

Thanks to you all who continue to check on us and I'm sorry for the much delayed update. First, briefly, Brian and I had a wonderful time in St. Thomas, even though it rained the whole time. We got to exlplore and lot and met some wonderful people.

We hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving. We traveled to Buffalo to see Brians family. A trip we hadn't been able to make in 3 years. We had a very nice time.

Now for the exciting part....While in Buffalo Lindsey had a little accident. She fell out of a golf cart. Can you say
C-O-N-C-U-S-S-I-O-N. Well we can. She hit her head pretty hard on the pavement and got pretty sick. You know how we love hospitals so off we went. 4 hours and a cat scan later we headed back to Aunt Mary's. Thankyou Aunt Mary for sitting with Mommy and helping her while I slept. Concussions will do that to you. We delayed leaving by a day. On the way home the hospital called a said after a radiologist read the scan it was supespected that she may have a small fracture. Needless to say Mom felt ill. After numerous on the road calls to the pediatrician we felt better. She was doing well and for fractures there is no treatment. We visisted the doctor on Tuesday and given a clean bill of health. No P.E for two weeks though. The docs here are getting the film and will have the radiologist and KD read them. Aren't we just loads of excitement. We can joke about it now.......: ) Needless to say we have told stunt girl NO MORE TRICKS!!

All in all we are doing well. I am continuing to work through things and finding the holidays harder than I thought. Wishing things could be different and knowing there not. Wanting to enjoy life but just feeling like I'm going through the motions. Sometimes wondering how this happened. Feeling frustrated that I learned so much from Lindsey's situation and not being able to use that right now. I am hanging in there though!!!

Friday, November 5, 2004 7:10 AM CST

Hi everyone,

Hayden just erased my LONG journal!! UUggg. : )

Anyhow, the kids are good. Lindsey had her EKG and ECKO and everything looked fine. Blood labs were great. Although Dr. Owen scared me to death by calling the results to me himself. Normally this nurses do this. Thanks for keeping me on my toes Dr. Owen.

Lindsey is doing wonderfully in school. We had conferences this week and the teacher said she is doing great. She said Lindsey is a very special girl and a joy to have in class. Hey, we knew that! :) She said LIndsey is so accepting of everyone and very kind. I've also been very proud of how my girls treated others.

Last year we started a program that helped families of the oncology clinic with Christmas. Many of you know that the ongoing care of a sick child can be very costly. Insurance does not cover every thing. Last year with the help of two friends we were able to help two famillies with the expense of Christmas. This is done purely out of love. So many helped us and this is our way of giving back. This year we are doing it again. I already have Old Navy on board and another group that approached me asking if I knew anyone....OF COURSE! So, if there is anyone out there with a group that is looking to help this Christmas please let me know. I am working with Shelia Mcelmurry, social work, at CHKD. We do gift card and gifts only. Any cash donations should be transferred to gift cards. Please email me if you know of a group that would like to help.

silvergirl0203@verizon.net.

I will give more info when you email me.

Thanks
Lisa

ps. Brian and I leave for our trip on Thursday. Say a little prayer that I will be ok without the kids....: )

Saturday, October 16, 2004 2:59 PM CDT

Hi everyone,

Things are all pretty "normal" here. Lindsey is doing well and enjoying first grade. Readings lots and lots!
I go in on Mondays and read to her class. That's been alot of fun. Hayden is busy, busy. Talking up a storm. He is such a good boy!! Loren is doing well. She will be heading to BRASS camp this weekend. We will head in for Lindsey next appointment around Nov. 3. I am expecting all to be well.

This week I will be doing my first puppet presentation for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. I am very excited that this project is finally taking off. I will be going in to the classrooms of children with Cancer and explaining to there classmates what it's like and what will happen. I have this muppet sized puppet that I take. Her hair comes off and she has a port. It's really cool.
With funding from the LLS and support from CHKD we were able to start this much needed program. All inspired by Lindsey of course!!

In other news Brian and I have decided to take a trip together. In twelve years we have never left the kids. Have never really wanted to. Not sure I do now but we are taking the plunge. Brians Mom has been wonderful and once again she is coming to visit and take care of the kids. We are going to St. Thomas, USVI and will be gone 4 nights. I am a little nervous but looking forward to a nice white sandy beach. It has been a difficult 18 months and the last 7 have been especially hard on me. We will leave on Nov. 11th. This month is proving difficult for me. Last Halloween was when we found out we were expecting Tanner. I remember walking around taking the kids treat or treating and thinking wow, next year we will have another little pumpkin. It's next year...

Sunday, September 26, 2004 9:21 PM CDT

Things with the kids are going really well. Lindsey is enjoying school . Lindsey has adjusted really well to 1st. grade. I will be going in on every Monday to read a book to her class. Loren is doing well. She is in Middle school and that is an adjustment. She seems to be handling it. She is also going to ODC/gifted school on fridays for the dance program. This is something you audition for. We are really proud of her. Hayden is recovering from a little bug but otherwise is doing well. Talking up a storm! Smart as a whip. Loves all trucks, excauvators, backhoes, diggers, bulldozers and of course the grandaddy bobcat. Weather is beautiful....until mid week.

I am continuing to move forward...not at a very fast pace but at least forward. It seems as though there are days that I am able to laugh and enjoy but there are days that are still really bad. No matter what the day good our bad it is always with me. I am learning to accept that is how it will always be. A piece of me is missing.....I came across Tanners ultrasound picture today. He looked so warm, safe. How things changed so quickly. I have had multiple signs from Tanner.....the other day Lindsey had
what she says was a Tanner moment. She was coming in to the house and felt something land on her head. She reached up and the teeniest, tiniest, cutest (and I don't like ickies) tree frog was on her head. He jumed in the house and Lindsey said it's from Tanner.
It made us smile.

Love and prayers to all

Thursday, September 9, 2004 1:05 PM CDT

Hi everyone,

Sorry I haven't updated but our computer has been down. Things are going well for the kids. School started and we are trying to get back on some sort of schedule. LIndsey is enjoying spending all day at school and Loren is learning to navigate her way thru middle school. Hayden is enjoying Mommy but loves it when the girls get home. We enjoyed our last weekend of summer by attending the Rock and Roll 1/2 marathon pasta party. We spoke again and enjoyed meeting everyone. I hope everyone did well.

It is quiet in the house. Too much time to think. I am hoping it will cool off soon so that I can take Hayden on walks and enjoy the park. There are too many mosquitoes. We continue to try and move forward. It is difficult. All of our friends that were having babies with us have delivered them and are enjoying them. While I am happy for them I am sad for us.

Wednesday, August 25, 2004 10:02 PM CDT

We arrived back safe, tan and tired from Myrtle Beach on Saturday. We had a really good time. We hung out at the beach, went to water parks,rode go-carts, did amusement parks, had a crazy banana boat ride and PARASAILED. Lindsey, Loren and I parasailed together and Brian went solo. I highly recommend it. It was freeing floating in the air. I told Lindsey to scream "I'm a cancer survivor" but she wouldn't do it. So crazy Mom yelled it for her. I will post pictures soon. The girls didn't want to leave. Loren met a very nice boy from CT. and they have become quick "friends". Oh to be 11 and in love. Hayden loved the ocean. The first day her ran and jumped right in. Clothes and all. We are so grateful to the Jason House people. So much work and effort goes into these trips.

Brian and I are hanging in there. I really needed to get away. The change of scenery was good. There were sad times in Myrtle Beach when I thought about Tanner and not having him there with us but there were also moments I was able to truly laugh and enjoy myself and the kids. When I was parasailing I cried. It was so freeing. You have to competely trust the boat crew, the parasail and yourself. I got to yell a little hello to Tanner and that was great.

Take care,

Lisa

Friday, August 13, 2004 8:18 AM CDT

Hi everyone,

Lindsey continues to do well. We had a check-up on Wednesday and all #'s looked great. She gained 5lbs in one month so we know she's eating well. We have graduated to visits every 3 months instead of monthly. Next time we will go for and echo and ekg. We've had these before. It's all routine. We realy miss everyone at the clinic. Hopefully they will have some sort of get together soon.

We are leaving for Myrtle Beach in the morning, EARLY.
I'm a little concerned about the weather. I'm sure these hurricanes will leave lots of rain. With Brian driving.....
enough said.

I would like to thank you for all the words of support. At my monday night meeting the bereavement counselor said around 5-6 months gets really tough again and it has. The last 18 months have just been filled with alot of emotional things. Highs and lows. It can be exhausting. Honestly, I'm just really tired. The encouragement really helped me alot.

Lisa

ps. THINK ABOUT DONATING SOME BLOOD, SUPPLIES ARE LOW.

Friday, August 6, 2004 6:33 PM CDT

We are almost a year out of treatment. What a milestone. Lindsey is doing wonderfully. Being the typical 6 year old. She is currently at a TNT event with Brian and Hayden. Cheering the runners on and enjoying some PF. Changs chinese food. We are heading to Myrtle Beach next week for our Jason's House vacation. I am hoping we have some nice weather minus the hurricanes. I am looking forward to relaxing ocean side and being in a different enviroment.
When we get back we will have about 2 weeks before school starts. I was looking at Lindsey's first day of school picture from last year. Her little bald head shining just as proud as you please. I don't think I've ever been prouder of her or Loren. The kids teased her. Lindsey didn't care and Loren told them to shut up! She'll have the best head of hair in school this year. Thick, curly, blonde and soft. It's beautiful. Strangers comment on it all the time. Hayden is doing well. He will be turning 2 on August 22. Last year we had to cancel his party because Lindsey woke up with a fever and we had to be admitted. Our last little unexpected stay. What a difference a year makes.

Life is continuing to go on. The last couple of weeks have been really hard. We have been reorganizing and remodeling. I put some of Tanner's things in frames and moved his urn to a shelf in our family room. It is was hard going back over all the things. I am struggling. I want to be enjoying this milestone of Lindsey's. I want to be enjoying life. I have perfected a fake little smile and laugh yet inside I am miserable. I want to move past it but I am stuck. It's not getting any easier.I am going over everything wishing there was something I could have changed. Regretting not spending more time with him. Knowing that none of these things will change anything. I want our baby so badly. The hardest thing I 've ever done in my life was handing our baby over to Brian to let him take him down to the funeral director. How am I supposed to get past that. How am I supposed to find a way to live with that. I don't know. Please pray for me. I need some kind of peace.

Sunday, July 25, 2004 8:07 PM CDT

Hi everyone,

Life continues on. The kids continue do to well. Lindsey has had a little eye sty/infection but it is healing now that we have an eye antibiotic. I had to take her to the opthamologist on Friday. She did really well. We found out that she is nearsighted. She will have to wear glasses when reading and doing classwork. We went a picked out a reall cute pair of glasses. She was very excited to have the same genetic defect as Loren. :)
Everything right now is about how Loren does it, what Loren wears etc.

The days here seem to be long and rainy. I feel crabby and irriatable. I feel like I am at the point where I should be enjoying life but I'm not. There is this perpetual feeling of something missing......everything right now is tainted. Nothing is fully enjoyable. I miss that. I feel like something wonderful and beautiful was placed in our arms. Only to be snatched away unmercifully.

Saturday, July 10, 2004 7:28 PM CDT

Lindsey continues to do very well. She is swimming like a fish and growing by leaps and bounds. Loren just returned from camp. It was a more naturistic experience this time and I don't think she enjoyed it as much as last year. The camp was moved and this time the stayed in cabins. Very RUSTIC cabins. Very BUGGY cabins. Hayden is doing well. I am trying to teach him to swim. He thinks he can. Hopefully we will get some new pics up soon.

Life is going on around me and I am stuck. Stuck in misery and heartache. Pretending that I am ok. Wanting to be ok. Each day is a struggle and I am very tired.

Friday, June 25, 2004 10:00 AM CDT

Hi everyone,

Lindsey continues to do very well. She looks amazing. The new head full of curly hair is absolutely beautiful. I am seriously jealous. The girls did very well on there report cards. I can't believe Lindsey will be in 1st grade and Loren in middle school. I feel old. The last couple of years have really aged me. Hayden is doing good and talking up a storm. He is a typical little brother.

Brian and I continue to move along. Today is difficult. I know we should be in the hospital having our little Tanner. I delivered Lindsey and Hayden at the 38th week mark. Today should be that day. Today should be a birthday. Today should have brought elation. Today should have enlarged our family. Instead today brings questions, sadness, grief. Today is not good.

Wednesday, June 9, 2004 9:02 AM CDT

Thanks to all who are still checking in on us. Lindsey continues to do well. She had her checkup last Wednesday and all her counts looked great. The girls have one more week of school and then it's out for the summer. Loren will be heading to BRASS camp on July 4th. Lindsey is not old enough but will be eligible next year. We will be heading to Myrtle Beach in August and are looking forward to that. It is through a program at the clinic.

I would like to say thankyou to Cathi and Jean of TNT and all of the runners who came to the cookout they gave in her honor last Saturday. We had lots of fun and enjoyed meeting everyone. A special thankyou to Cathi's husband for doing all the grilling. Also thankyou for all the gifts for Loren, Lindsey and Hayden. We have been truly blessed to meet such a wonderful group of people who have supported us through this journey. The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society is an orginization that really reaches the patients and families of people with Leukemia's and Lymphoma's. We have made some wonderful friends. I hope all the runners that had marathons this past weekend did well. Please know you all continue to amaze and inspire us.

Brian and I are doing ok. I am struggling with some things and am not looking forward to the next month. I know I would have delivered Tanner at about 38 weeks,
around June 25th. In my mind I should be doing final preparations for our new baby. We were so close....it kills me. There are huge differences between 24, 25, 26 weeks and so on. There are people in my bereavement group that have lost babies at 38, 39 and 40 weeks. So you never know. It is a thing I've come to hate. I am struggling with the fact that Tanner most likely suffered. For at least 11 minutes......probably more. how do you ever get over that.

Wednesday, May 26, 2004 7:49 AM CDT

Lindsey is feeling much better. The cough is pretty much gone!!

We got our new pool installed about 2 weeks ago. The girls and Hayden are thoroughly enjoying it. It's the best investment we ever made. Yesterday was Loren's 11th birthday. We had lunch with her at school and then "busted"her out early. Grammi and Poppa are visisting from New York and Gigi and Grandaddy came over for dinner. Sweetie stopped by and Loren had her very best friend over to swim and eat. Normally we do a huge party but recently decided we needed to scale down. At the end of the night Loren said it was her best birthday ever. It could have something to due with her getting a cookie cake for lunch an extra one for home and a ice cream cake. That would make anyone happy!

I feel like I go through everything with mixed emotions. There is not an event or day that goes by that I don't think I should be pregnant or be visiting/camping out at the NICU. I just can't enjoy anything 100 percent. We have been working on the garden for Tanner and it is coming together beautifully. I don't know if we'll be able to get a swing this year but definetly by next year. I want to be able to go out there and sit in a peaceful, serene spot. I am not much of a green thumb.....I am praying all of the plants and his dogwood tree thrive. So far I still have the house plants sent to us for his memorial service. I am learning.

I am heartbroken.......

Lisa

Friday, May 21, 2004 8:08 AM CDT

Hi everyone,

As you know Lindsey has been coughing and feeling sick for the last couple of weeks. I took her to the pediatrician yesterday and she has a little rattle in her lungs. Nothing major. It probably started as a viral thing, hence the fever. She also has some sinus issues going on. The doctor put her on an antiobiotic and if she's not better by Monday they will do a chest xray. I feel she will be better and the doctor thought it was just moving into the chest so we caught it in time. She went on a field trip to Botanical Gardens on Wednesday and all the walking and heat really got to her. They had to take her into the office to cool down and get her a drink. Then on the bus ride home she fell asleep in the teachers lap.So I decided to take her in.

We are doing ok. We all had a little breakdown the other night at Walmart. There was a little spiderman preemie outfit....Brian has been a big spiderman/comic book junkie since he was a kid. It was painful. More later.

Saturday, May 15, 2004 10:41 AM CDT

Hi everyone,

Lindsey had her clinic appointment last week and everything was fine. All counts look great. Hayden and her have been suffering from some kind of cold/hacking cough thing but hopefully will be over it by this weekend.
We went to Relay for Life last night and had a good time. Brian and the girls stayed all night and I came home with Hayden about 1:30. The weather was really nice.

Brian and I are hanging in there. Mothers Day came and went.....I pretty much just blocked it out for the day and chose to deal with it later that night. I want the girls and Hayden to be able to enjoy things. We had a very nice cookout at my cousin Cathy's. Last year Lindsey was inpatient. What a long way we've come. It was really funny last year when Dr. Owen came for rounds I said "where's my flowers?". He went down and got every mom a rose. Those of you at our hospital know how great and special the oncology staff is at CHKD.

Anyway, we are continuing on.....missing Tanner.....feeling like we are incomplete...feeling like we should be visiting the NICU.....wanting things to be different........but blessed to have our children.

Sunday, May 2, 2004 9:24 AM CDT

Lindsey is feeling better. It seems she may have had a small ear infection and some fluid in both ears. The school nurse is watching them and we have her on a decongestant. It looks like it is due to some allergies.
Hayden is not a 100 percent but hopefully he will feel better tomorrow. Loren is thankfully feeling great.

Logic can never open a door emotions have shut.

I remember at my youngest brothers funeral almost 11 years ago how stoic my dad and Gigi seemed. He was 51/2 when he passed away after receiving a heart transplant. There were moments when they would cry but I remember thinking how are they even standing? I attended two funerals this past year of two little girls from the clinic. It was the same. Both sets of parents seemed herocially stoic. I now see those moments in a totally different perspective. My grief is not on the same level as theirs. Yet it is different than any grief I've ever had to face. I look back over the first month and realize I was in shock. Numb. On autopilot. Your body does this thing that allows you to get through this moment of unbearable pain. I swear if you absorbed it all at once you would be swallowed whole! I guess I am to the stage where the numbness and shock have worn off.
Yet I am saved by the daily routine of taking care of other children. There are moments though that now the pain hits me full force. I am no longer numb. It takes my breath away and I feel as if someone is sitting on me. I now have to face the realization that there are no "what if's" there is no going back, it is not some horrible dream...it is my reality. I get up in the morning and I go to sleep at night knowing that nothing will change what has happened, facing the fact I only have some momentos, pictures and beautiful memories on sweet Tanner but I won't lie to you...it's not enough. I guess facing the fact that it's all I'm going to get is really hard.
I am glad the numbness and shock have worn off. I am glad I am able to experience moments of joy and happiness with my children. Yet it has allowed this pain to seep in and I am feeling it's full force.

Monday, April 26, 2004 11:01 AM CDT

Lindsey is doing well. She didn't feel good Saturday night but I believe it was just a little bug. Hayden woke up this morning feeling lousy but seems to be better now. Loren and Lindsey got there report cards and both did really well. They both meet or exceed grade level expectations. Lindsey improved with her reading and writing. Kindergaten is more like first grade. We are very proud of them. Especially considering the last couple of years we've had.

Our time on earth is a school.
Grief is the toughtest class we have to take.

I'm not sure day to day is getting easier but it is changing. I am able to focus more on Hayden and the girls.....which fills up time. The nights are still really bad.
To much time to think I guess. Today is the month anniversary of Tanners memorial. I should be a little over 29 weeks pregnant. It is such an unwelcome adjustment. Everyone keeps remarking how thin I am.I know there trying to be nice and there really not thinking about it but it's not what I should be and that's hard. I want to have a big belly and feel our baby growing inside of me. I never did that well physically with pregnancy but I loved being pregnant. Every morning begins the same and every night ends the same.....we are not going to have our precious Tanner. I feel blessed to have Loren, Lindsey and Hayden but we are missing him and it is difficult.

Please know you all continue to be in our thoughts and prayers. I am not signing alot right now but continue to check on everyone daily.

Lisa

Tuesday, April 20, 2004 9:06 AM CDT

Thankyou for the continued thoughts and prayers. Loren, Lindsey and Hayden are suffering from allergies and have little red eyes but other than that they are doing well. LIndsey's next check up is May 5.
We did the dentist yesterday and she was not impressed. She has two small cavities so the next visit should be interesting. Brian will probably have to go!


The morning...is the worst.
The afternoon...is barely tolerable.
And
The night is.....unending.

Brian and I are doing ok. Today is the month anniversary of losing Tanner. It has not been easy and I continue to struggle daily. I know it takes time ......it just a matter of getting there. I am in a limbo of sorts. Knowing I should be pregnant yet I'm not. Having all the feelings, hopes, dreams that accumalated over the last 7 months and now there gone. How do you go from loving and treasuring being pregnant and wanting a baby to knowing it will not happen. For us it is also painful because there are issues surrounding that day. We also know that although we could never replace Tanner the possibility of having another child is pretty slim. So I am faced with wanting a baby yet realistically knowing it will not happen. This is very hard. My brain says one thing and my heart another. At the end of the day it is still the same. We want Tanner.....and that won't happen for a very long time.

Tuesday, April 13, 2004 11:30 AM CDT

Where to begin. I guess with Lindsey's health. The sinus infection seems to be clearing up. She has been complaining of some joint (leg pain) and back pain. Which as cancer parents we know we always hate any ache of pain but I have totally regressed in any progress I've made in the last six months. I am back to feeling the fear of relapse is controlling me instead of me controlling it. There is fear of something happening to Hayden. I made Brian install a new screen door that locks securely and we have double locks and put little hook and eye latches of inner doors that lead to outer ones. If Loren had a license it would have been revoked.

I went to a grief support meeting last night for moms who have lost babies. I never joined a cancer group because my support group was the clinic staff, the other moms and all our friends we have met through Lindsey's illness and treatment. For this though I have no one who knows.I have friends who have had miscarriages, my sister had one, I had three. But let me tell you its not the same. I dealt with my miscarriages by grieving, it was horrendous. But I also felt it was my body's was of saying this pregnancy wasn't viable. The last miscarriage was extremely difficult. We were trying to get pregnant. I was 11 weeks along. It was right before I got pregnant with Lindsey. But losing Tanner is totally different. We lost our CHILD. We lost our BABY.
We have a birth certificate and we now have a death certificate waiting for us at the funeral home. We lost a baby that should still be inutero or in the NICU. He weighed more and was longer than a baby his gestation and was bigger than some of the preemies in the NICU at CHKD. He wasn't an embryo. He was a baby. He looked like us. He had our lips. He had Lindsey's long fingers. He was a miniature us. He was perfect. He wasn't born with alot of the things some preemies have. The vernix covering there body's, etc.
He was perfect.

I briefly mentioned there were events that took place that day that are questionable. I was upset about them that day. I called my friend Beth and Brian very upset. I told them the test they had done to me and how it was done was horrible. Within hours Tanner entered this world. We have many unanswered questions. Questions Brian had from day one that I was emotionally unable to face. We went for my two week check up. My doctors had already had a meeting about what had happened. Once I was shipped to Norfolk General I was under a team of specialist. We went into the appointment totally prepared to receive advice on whether to pursue this matter or to let it go. We were advised to obtain all of my medical records. Every scrap.
Medically they weren't there....I hate to speak for them but in my heart I feel they need questions answered too.
We were basically told an indepent source needs to look at them.I am not a grieving mother looking for someone to blame. But if there was negligence involved we need to know. We walked away from that hospital without our baby. A baby that in utero was perfectly healthy. I am not going to go into all the events of that day but I can tell you in was horrendous. When I came back to my room that day i was a basket case. I knew something was wrong. The test they had done was horrible. I'm sorry I can't go further. It's to sickening.

I walk around through normal day activities yet I'm not normal. I have a constant recording in brain that continuely plays the same thing. I want my baby. I am going crazy.....being grateful Lindsey survived the beast yet so miserable we lost our sweet Tanner. I know time heals all. Part of me wishes I had a time machine. But which way would I go. Back in time or into the future. I am tired of the continual feeling of nauseousness. The double life I'm leading. I am worn out physcially and emotionally.

I can't continue.....maybe more later

Love and prayers to all of our friends

Lisa

April 7, 2004 1:37 am

I just wanted to do a quick update and thank everyone for continuing to check on us. I'm leaving the previous journal for those who haven't read it yet. Lindsey has a bad sinus infection and will be on antibiotics for 14 days. I'm just not ready for any kind of sickness right now!I am worried sick about her! I will go in tomorrow for my 2 week postpartum checkup. Brian is going with me as we have many questions about the day of Tanners delivery........there are things and events that took place that need to be looked into.....I am not quite ready to share what exactly happened that day. Emotionally it's very hard. Honestly, I am not doing very well. I have thrown myself into massive cleaning and projects and taking care of the kids....but it all leads back to the same thing. I want my baby! I want Tanner. My heart is sick......I know logically with time this will get better.....but it is killing me right now!

We posted a picture of some of his memorial things and his urn in the photo album. Hopefully Brian will be able to update them more regulary. We have some cute ones of all the kids. Hayden and Loren are doing well. Please know we are thinking and praying for you all. I am not doing a great deal of signing right now....but am checking on everyone daily. Love and prayers
Lisa

Saturday March 27, 2004
I wanted to thank everyone for the kind words, thoughts and prayers. Tanner's service was absolutely beautiful and perfect. I don't have the strength to do it right now but soon I will share all the details. We did some very special things for our beautiful baby boy. For those of you who were able to attend and those whose sent flowers thank you.

One day I will share more........I want to. But right now I am drowning.....the love I have for Brian, Loren, Lindsey and Hayden is giving the gasps of air I need to survive.
I will go through this life blessed with my family but also empty. I lovingly gave a piece of myself to Tanner and long for the day when we meet again and he lovingly gives it back to me. For now I know he holds it preciously and lovingly and keeps it safe for me.

Sweet baby boy I love you will all my heart.........

Tuesday, March 23, 2004 4:49 PM CST

Hi everyone,

It is with great sadness and disbelief that I write this journal. Tanner and I hung on for nine long days....i so deseperately wanted more. I am so proud that I was his mother and so proud he came out and tried to fight!!! He was beautiful....a little miniature....with long sweet fingers and long kissable toes. Soft little hair on is head and precious lips that i kissed many times.

I am reeling....I am lost.....above all I want my baby! I appreciate all the thoughts and prayers

For those of you who would like to attend Tanner Millers memorial service it will be held on the following

Friday March 26th at 2:00pm
Kellum Funeral Home
Rosewood Chapel
601 North Withchduck Road
Va beach VA 23462

We love you all
Lisa

Sunday, March 21, 2004 6:07 PM CST

Hello All,

This is Beth, Lisa's friend....I entered a journal earlier last week to give everyone an update on the Miller Family. So to reflect and update, Friday before last Lisa's water broke at 22 weeks and 6 days....they were trying to keep her infection free and trying to keep her from having any contractions so she was in the hospital on COMPLETE bedrest. They were trying to keep her in that state for as long as possible. Unfortunately, yesterday evening the baby was delivered and they were unable to save him. He was babtized shortly after in a small private ceremony. There will be a memorial ceremony probably sometime this week, but no specifics yet. Lisa is no longer in the same room as was posted in the last journal and is going to be moved again to another room shortly, so for now, I have no room information for at this point, except for that she is still at Norfolk Sentara and will be there until at least Tuesday. I will keep the website updated.

Tanner Miller was born on March 20, 2004, and he weighed 1lb, 2oz. He is a perfect little angel. Please keep the Miller's in your thoughts and prayers during yet another difficult time in their lives. Lisa wanted me to wish that everyone is well and is having continued success in their treaments and recovery. Take Care and God Bless!

Wednesday, March 17, 2004 12:13 AM CST

Hi Everyone, It's Lisa's Friend Beth,

I am updated the site for Lisa. Lindsey is doing great! Lisa unfortunatley is in the hospital indefinatley. Last Friday her water broke at only 22weeks 6 days. She is in stable conditon and the baby is hanging in there...with good strong heart beat. The goal is to keep her from having contractions and to keep her from getting sn infection. The longer they can do this, the better it will be for the baby. So please just keep them in your prayers. Lisa is at Norfolk Sentera General Rm 454, the telephone number to her room is 757-668-4454. She wanted me to make sure that everyone knew that you are in her thoughts and prayers, and is wishing everyone well and contimued progress in their treatment and recovery. Brian and the kids are hanging in there...Jan (Brian's mom) is here to help out, and friends and family are here to help if needed too! Well I think that's all for now, I will be keeping you updated. Take Care and God Bless!

Beth

Thursday, February 26, 2004 9:44 AM CST

Hi everyone,

Lindsey had her appointment yesteday and everything was great. Dr. Owen was very pleased with her progress. I'm not gonna even list counts....that's how good they were. We did talk again about banking the cord blood. Although we both feel we won't need them we will have them. I'ts just a good idea all the way around. I did some investigating and found out that Childrens Hospital and Research Center of Oakland, CA. has a sibling donor program. They will collect and store for five years our stem cells at no cost. They do this for children who have/had a disease that could be treated by stem cell transplant. Power of positive thinking.... we won't need them.....but we have peace of mind knowing we have them.

We all had the stomach bug this week but thankfully are recovering. I had my o/b appointment this morning and everything looks great. I will be 21 weeks tommorow! Past the 1/2 way mark! WEEWWHOO! I talked to my nurse midwife and she is very good at getting the cord blood and has a whole little system. She knows how important it is! Especially to us. We will have a whole plan in place to make everything as easy as possible. She is so wonderful and we are grateful to have her!

Love and prayers to all

Friday, February 13, 2004 10:43 AM CST

Hi everyone,

Just a quick update. Everything is fine....with Lindsey, the baby and me. I went for testing and come to find out my test results were incorrect due to an incorrect due date being entered . So luckily everything got straightened out! All that worry for nothing...oh well..we are just glad everything is ok. I did have a indepth ultrasound which was fine. We opted NOT to have an amniocentisis! It wouldn't matter anyway and to us is not worth the risk.

Lindsey's doctor appointment was moved to the 25th so I will update her counts then. We attended a Red Cross dinner last nite in Williamsburg and got to speak and thank all of the people who recruit donors! We stayed overnight and got to stay in a very nice suite! The kids really enjoyed it. It you have time platelets and blood are always needed. Also, Lindsey's article was in the VA Pilot Wed the 11th in the Daily Break section under Healthy Quest.

Take care,

LIsa and Lindsey

Monday, February 9, 2004 10:07 AM CST

Hi everyone,

I just wanted to let everyone know that Lindsey is doing wonderfully! We will go to clinic on Wed. for counts. I expect everything to be great.

Also, we did find out that we are having another boy!!
So Hayden will have a little brother! Shortly after we found out we were told some of my test came back irregular. We are going on Wed. for some more indepth testing and I will try to update then. I apologize for not emailing or calling some of you back. Although I firmly believe the intial test is "false positive" we are still dealing with some "medical stress" right now. Hopefully after wed things will be cleared up!

Love and prayers to all!

ps. To all the "TNT" members....bundle up and try to stay warm.

Monday, January 26, 2004 5:52 PM CST

Hi everyone,

Lindsey is doing great. Tomorrow is the anniversary date of her diagnosis. We didn't get the exact type until the 28th but we knew it was some type of cancer on the 27th. I can't believe a whole year has gone by. Sunday morning I had the first dream about relaspe that I've ever had. I really haven't been dwelling on it that much but I guess it just goes to show you that it's always there in your subconcious. Sometimes I can't believe that it every really happened. All I know is that I am grateful she's made it. I know I couldn't have gotten through it if it hadn't been for her. There were days she carried me through. She continues to amaze us. Lindsey is alot like Brian. You could be having the worst day and then look at her and it all melts away. She could be doing something to get into trouble and then look at you and your heart would melt. She will probably always get away with alot :).

The girls were off school today due to the snow but will head back tomorrow. It rained/sleeted last night so the snow today was a slushy watery mess. Hayden is doing well and knock on wood, seems to be over his sinus infection.

Now, I know recently I haven't updated as much and I've been slack on signing guestbooks (I do check on everyone everyday) but I am ready to reveal my reason.
WE ARE EXPECTING ANOTHER BABY!!! YES, # 4.
Those of you who know me personally know that I love being pregnant but my body doesn't. Pretty much sick morning, noon and nite for the entire 9 months. So between that and Hayden my computer time has been very limited. I am about 4 1/2 months and am due at the begining of July. Which for me means the end of June.
We are very excited. I have never had two so close together so it will be a new experience. There is almost 5 years between each child. We will find out Wednesday if it is a boy or girl. I am looking forward to having a new little baby.....I can never make up the time I missed with Hayden but it will sure be fun to enjoy it again. I'm not exactly sure how excited Hayden will be.
He has a serious case of Mommyitis. The girls are very happy. Funnily enough the only thing Lindsey wanted for Christmas was a new baby. I guess God and this little baby decided she deserved it! Because it was just a little suprise.....:) I will keep everyone updated.

Love and prayers to all
Lisa, Brian, Loren, Lindsey, Hayden and ...to be announced soon.

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 9:45 AM CST

Hi everyone,

We are doing pretty good. Trying to brave the cold weather. I know it's not as cold as other places but cold for us! Lindsey and I both agreed we are ready for spring. She is doing well. We had clinic last week. All her numbers were excellent but she did show signs of having some sort of virus. I believe it is all sinus related. She missed school yesterday for a sore throat and headache but was feeling much better by last night.

For all of our local people. On February 9th there will be an insert in the Virginian Pilot called Healthy Quest. Lindsey's Red Cross letter and picture will be in there so be on the look out! Also as I was writing this I received a call from CHKD. A few months ago Lindsey and another friend from the clinic did photos with the President of Farm Fresh (local grocery chain) for a fundraising brochure. Farm Fresh does a huge campaign to raise money for children with cancer and CHKD. They loved the pictures so much that they are going to use them as posters and media for this years campaign. It is a huge fundraiser. We are so excited to help this cause. It will kick off in April I believe. So remember when you go to Farm Fresh be sure to "Round Up".

I would also like to say congratulations and thank you to all the TNT runners that ran the Disney Marathon. A special thankyou to Jean. She visisted with us on Sunday. She brought some gifts for the kids and shared her marathon experience with us. Also she gave her Marathon Medal to Lindsey. I'm not sure Lindsey realized the significance of this yet. She thought it was pretty cool though. I on the other hand am overwhelmed by this gift. Jean completed the 26 mile marathon. That is quite an accomplishment. I can't even put into words what that medal signifies. It is something we will always treasure.
Thankyou Jean.

Everyone take care. You are all in our thoughts and prayers. Thankyou for continuing go check on us.

Sunday, January 11, 2004 8:50 AM CST

Hi everyone,

Well last year at this time we had celebrated Lindsey's 5th birthday. The party's theme was a tea party. I had a wedding cake lady make little miniature wedding cakes for each girl. They had little sugared flowers and looked beautiful. Each girl had little lace gloves and pearl necklaces. It was the 5th birthday. One I thought should be done really special. It was. But it was also the first day Lindsey was noticiably sick. I remember 30 minutes before the party she was soaking in the tub. Crying that her back hurt and she wasn't even sure she wanted her friends to come over. She ended up having a spurt of energy and enjoyed her party. That was pretty much the last spurt of energy she had for about 4 months.

The other day someone said to me that they bet I was glad 2003 was over. For almost a year I declared it the worst year of my life. Then I had an ephiany. Yes it was the year that Lindsey got cancer....but that was not the most significant thing. The most significant that was that 2003 was the year that Lindsey BEAT cancer. That's what was most important about 2003.

There are horrible things I remember about 2003 but when asked those events are not the first to pop into my mind. I remember meeting so many wonderful people.
Even the long hospital stays are filled with memories of
water fights with Nurse Lee and Casey (from clinic). Megan dressing up as the bumblebee. Crystal searching every floor for the heat packs Lindsey needed......really needed. Lindsey and I riding in the wagon together. Lindsey losing her first tooth (in the hospital). I could go on and on.

Honestly the worst part of 2003 has been dealing with friends at clinic and through Caringbridge that have lost their children. You go through life knowing these things happen but when you see it up close and personal it's different. You just want it all to end........

On a lighter note. Tuesday January 13th is Lindsey's 6th birthday!!! She decided not to have a party this year.
She said she just wanted to spend it with us!! After this year she didn't need all the glitz and hoopla...just us!!
I will cherish this birthday forever. It worked out perfectly.
As selfish as it seems I really didn't mind not sharing her with anyone! :) Please send the birthday wishes though!! :)

Love and prayers to everyone

Sunday, January 4, 2004 10:51 AM CST

Happy New Year to everyone!!

Once again sorry so slow on the updates....we have just been busy with the holidays and it's seems one sickness or another. The girls enjoyed Christmas.
Christmas Eve we went to Beth, Aaron, Caleb and Ella's. We had a very nice dinner but had to get home early to prepare for Santa. Brian and I were up until about 2 and the girls got up around 6. Hayden slept in.
Everyone enjoyed there presents.....Brian and I headed back to bed for a little nap. ) Later that afternoon Lindsey starting feeling bad. We went over to my dad's. Poor Lindsey was sick the whole time. I think it was a really long day for her. She woke up the next morning fine. I wasn't overly concerned because we had just had counts a couple of days before and everything was fine.

Hayden once again got sick after the 2nd part of his flu shot. Which then developed into a nasty sinus infection.
He woke up several mornings with his eyes glued shut.
It took alot of warm water....needless to say he is on an antibiotic. He is much improved over the last two days.

We have been enjoying nice weather the last two days...
70 degrees plus.....The girls will go back to school tomorrow and we will hopefully get back into some sort of routine.

Hope everyone is doing well. Thanks for continuing to check on us.

Blood supplies are critically low. The flu has wreaked havoc with drives etc. If you have time please donate.
During Lindsey's treatment she received blood and platelets numerous times. Your donation could help 3 people.

Monday, December 22, 2003 3:12 PM CST

Hi everyone,

Hope all is going well. I'm sorry I haven't been updating as regulary......and signing guestbooks but it seems as though Hayden has been taking up all of my time and with Christmas my computer time has been very limited. Please know that I am checking on all of you and our thoughts and prayers are with you during this holiday season.

Hayden is sick once again. He received the second part of the flu shot last Monday and is back to hacking, coughing and all out miserable. There have been quite a few sleepless nights. We had to cancel Lindsey's clinic appointment last thurs but will be running her in tomorrow for blood work. Normally she would see the Doctor but they were booked so we got the ok for labs only. I'm sure everything will be fine. Next month she will go in for her regular appointment with Dr. Owen. She has been feeling good. I notice she tires more easily and we have more tummy aches but all in all she's healthy.

Please keep all of our friends who lost their children this past year in your thoughts and prayers. Everyday is difficult but the holidays.....I just can't imagine. We just lost one of our friends yesterday. If you have a chance please stop by and offer them a word of support
www.caringbridge.org/oh/adamkindell.
He was a true hero and fought a long hard battle.

Love to everyone.

Lisa, Brian, Loren, LIndsey and Hayden

Wednesday, December 10, 2003 12:55 AM CST

Hi everyone,

Sorry I haven't updated.....we were all exhausted from our trip. We had a wonderful time. Six days of theme parks will definitely tire you out. Give Kids the World village was awesome. We spent our first day resting and on Monday we went to Magic Kingdom. Tuesday we did Universal,. Wednesday Disney Mgm. Thurs back to universal (we loved it). Friday Animal Kingdom and Saturday before we left Sea World. I will update more later. Everyone is recovering from there colds and doing much better.

Tuesday, November 25, 2003 1:30 PM CST

Hi everyone,

Just a quick update. Lindsey is doing wonderfully and getting excited about our Make a Wish trip to Disney.
Hayden is horribly sick. He's been running a fever of 104, coughing and unable to sleep. I took him to the peditrician today and they did blood work. His white blood count was fine but his granulcytes were elevated. Indicating his body is starting to fight something. He got a big ol' shot of rocephin and will be on an antibiotic for 5 days. Let's hope he's better by sunday.

Thankyou for continually checking on us. To all of our caring bridge friends, I have been checking on you but unable to sign lately...with Hayden being sick. Please know we are thinking about all of you.

Lisa

Saturday, November 15, 2003 12:30 AM CST

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO BRIAN, THE BEST DADDY!!

Hi everyone,

Sorry I didn't update after Lindsey's appointment. I haven't been able to get on the computer alot. Hayden has been keeping me busy. All of Lindsey's #'s look great. She looks great!!! She is starting to get a full crop of hair. I think it's gonna be thicker this time!!!

We went to CHKD today for the 94.9 radio station telethon to help raise money for CHKD. We told Lindsey's story and encouraged people to donate.

Tonight we will go to a Red Cross Donor Appreciation dinner and thank all those who have donated. We feel very strongly about this orginization. Without blood and platelets Lindsey wouldn't have lived or recovered. So thank you to all who have donated and continue to do so!!

Not much else going on. We are getting excited about or Make a Wish trip and just enjoying daily life.

Please continue to keep Adam Kindell in your prayers.
Visit and leave him a message at

www.caringbridge.org/oh/adamkindell

Also visit Neena at Taylors site if you can
www.caringbridge.org/va/taylor

Love to all
Lisa

Monday, November 10, 2003 6:18 PM CST

Hi everyone,

All is well. We had a very cold weekend but it should warm up a little. Lindsey is doing great!!! We will go in for a doctors appt. on Wed. I am expecting that all counts will be awesome. Hayden was sick this weekend. Fever, sore throat, aches and pains but is starting to recover. The poor little guy couldn't even cry. He just eeked. Loren is good. Brians mom came in for a visit so the kids have been having fun with her.

Once again I ask that you all visit and offer words of support and encouragement to one of our caringbridge friends. Adam is not doing well. He has been through so many things and his leukemia is back. His mom Holly has been a great source of encouragement for myself and Lindsey. Especially with the whole school thing. Please, please stop by and visit him. He loves reading the messages!
PLEASE VISIT www.caringbridge.org/oh/adamkindell

Tuesday, November 4, 2003 2:59 PM CST

Hi everyone,

Just a quick update to let you know that Lindsey is doing wonderfully. We had a conference at school today and she is doing great!!! They will start small reading groups soon and bring home books to read to us. We had a nice Halloween. Loren was sick but she's better now.

Beth and Ella are home. Beth is still very uncomfortable but enjoying being with the kids.

I will update more later in the week. Tonight will be my first night back at work so I have to go.

Next Doctors appointment is on Nov. 12th.

Countdown to Disney has begun.

Love and prayers

Lisa

Wednesday, October 29, 2003 6:35 PM CST

Hi everyone,

Thanks to all who continue to keep Beth and Baby Ella in your prayers. Ella is home and doing well. Dad is getting a first hand lesson on how to be "mommy". But only until Beth gets home. Hopefully she will be busted out of there tomorrow. I always said were not saying were leaving until the discharge papers are signed and stamped.

LIndsey is doing great. She has been a little tired but overall feeling good. We attended the Clinic Halloween party last nite. It was really nice to see all of our friends.
Especially Fisher. Loren is absolutely in love with him.
Wow Fisher, two girls, I mean three (me too) in one family. The staff does so many wonderful things for the kids and the families. Lindsey was Sleeping Beauty of course, Loren was a Doctor and Hayden was Baby spiderman. He walked around a "stole" food off everyone's plates. The little show stealer. It was really nice.

We are going trick or treating with friends on Friday nite and then will just hang around the house this weekend.
Trying to finish some projects......Next week Brian's mom is coming for a visit. The kids are really excited. I can't wait for her to see how Lindsey's hair is coming in.
I think it is going to be really thick like mine.

Please continue to keep all of our friends in your prayers.

Friday, October 24, 2003 9:46 PM CDT

Hi everyone,

I would like to thank all of you for keeping Beth, Aaron, Baby Ella and Caleb in your prayers. Beth is in ICU but thankfully stable. She had a spleenatic artery annuerism that exploded and was bleeding out. Pretty much the same thing that happened to John Ritter except a different artery. When she arrived at the ER her blood pressure was 57 over 33 and her hgb was down to 6. Normal being 13-14. They were not sure if she would even survive the surgery. Of the 400 cases of this exact artery exploding only 13% live. An 87% mortality rate. She has recieved 11 units of blood. Which causes problems in itself. The next 24 hours are still crucial. She is off the ventillator and coherent. Please continue to keep her and her family in your prayers. It has been one whooper of a week for them.

All is well with the Millers!!!


Lisa

ps. Baby Ella is doing wonderfully!!! Off all machinery!!
and in the oberservation Nursery.

Friday, October 24, 2003 9:46 PM CDT

Hi everyone,

I would like to thank all of you for keeping Beth, Aaron, Baby Ella and Caleb in your prayers. Beth is in ICU but thankfully stable. She had a spleenatic artery annuerism that exploded and was bleeding out. Pretty much the same thing that happened to John Ritter except a different artery. When she arrived at the ER her blood pressure was 57 over 33 and her hgb was down to 6. Normal being 13-14. They were not sure if she would even survive the surgery. Of the 400 cases of this exact artery exploding only 13% live. An 87% mortatlity rate. She has recieved 11 units of blood. Which causes problems in itself. The next 24 hours are still crucial. She is off the ventillator and coherent. Please continue to keep her and her family in your prayers. It has been one whooper of a week for them.

All is well with the Millers!!!


Lisa

ps. Baby Ella is doing wonderfully!!! Off all machinery!!
and in the oberservation Nursery.

Friday, October 24, 2003 12:09 AM EST

Hi everyone,

This is Brian writing for Lisa. Ella's mom Beth is sick. She was admitted this evening to Va. Beach General via ambulance. She was not feeling well and hemorraging(sp). She was admitted and they found a ruptured artery near her spleen. She has been in surgery most of the evening, and they have had little success with stopping the bleeding. She lost so much blood a transfusion was necessary. Please add Beth to your prayers. Thank you.

Brian


Wednesday, October 22, 2003 12:42 AM CDT

The update of Princess Ella is good. She came off the vent today and hopefully will be off the oxygen tent by tomorrow. They are also hoping to do her first bottle feed tomorrow. This is great news. Thankyou to all of you who kept her and her family in your prayers. She still has a way to go but I think she's letting everyone know she has a strong will and is determined to do what she wants. She tried to pull the ventilator out severals times so they had to sedate her. She's not even a week old. The little girl wants it done her way! In the true fashion of a princess. Or princess in training... Princess Lindsey said she's gonna show her the ropes. Look out world!!!

Lindsey is doing wonderfully. The hair is really coming in. She looks like a little GI Jane. She's beautiful. She is back to her old self. Eating constantly!!!! Although not as many sweets as before. I think the chemo really did a number on the "ol" taste buds. Which is fine. The less sweets the better. Hayden and Loren are doing great! Loren is going back to Camp Special Love this weekend and is looking forward to it. I will update more later in the week.

The only medical news is that Lindsey will be getting her flu shot tomorrow. Should be interesting.

Also, one more favor. If you have the time please stop by and offer words of support and encouragement to Neena, ^Angel Taylors^ mom. She is having a really difficult time. Thankyou

www.caringbridge.org/va/taylor

Lisa

Monday, October 20, 2003 11:12 AM CDT

URGENT PRAYER REQUEST. FOR ALL OF THOSE WHO VISIT LINDSEY'S SITE AND HAVE PRAYED FOR HER AND HER WELL BEING WE KNOW ASK YOU TO PRAY FOR A LITTLE FRIEND OF OURS. OUR VERY GOOD FRIENDS BETH AND AARON HAD THERE BABY GIRL (ELLA) ON FRIDAY AND SHE NEEDS LOTS OF PRAYERS. SHE HAD A STEP BACK LAST NITE AND WAS PLACED ON THE VENTILLATOR. THE NEXT 24 TO 48 HOURS WILL BE CRITICAL. PLEASE PRAY THAT THE BACTERIA SHE HAS IN HER LUNGS DOES NOT SPREAD. THIS WOULD BE DEVASTATING TO HER LITTLE BODY. AS OF THIS MORNING HER BLOOD GASES AND CHEST XRAY WERE BETTER BUT SHE STILL IS IN VERY SERIOUS CONDITION. IF THINGS WORSEN IT IS POSSIBLE SHE WILL BE TRANSFERRED TO CHILDRENS HOSPITAL OF PHILEDELPHIA. I'M NOT SURE WHY THERE OVER CHKD BUT I DO KNOW THAT CHOP IS A VERY GOOD PLACE. THANK YOU !

I WILL UPDATE WITH ANY CHANGES...PRAY FOR A GOOD UPDATE

Thursday, October 16, 2003 9:54 PM CDT

UPDATE 10/18/03
Please continue to pray for our good friends Beth and Aaron and their new baby girl Ella. She was transferred to NICU yesterday. Although she is doing better she has not made improvement enough to breathe on her own. She is currently under an oxygen hood. All attempts to remove this and go to just nasal tube air has failed. Beth tested positive for strep b and was treated but it is still a possiblility that Ella aspirated fluid with this virus into her lungs. They have not made a complete diagnosis yet but are going down the line to rule things out. They are looking to be inpatient at least a week possibly more. They also pushed Beths epidural too far so she has been having alot of side effects from that. I spoke to Ella and told her that a little bit of drama from a Princess is ok....but that she needs to let Aunt Lisa relax a little and come home quickly. She is a little fighter though! Thanks for keeping them in your prayers.


Hi everyone,

All is well. Lindsey is feeling good, running, playing and making huge messes!!!!! We have put the girls in a room together. We decided to do it for the time being so that Hayden could have a room and we need some place to put all of his stuff!! Currently he is in our room.
It's a bit crowed!!! We had wanted to make part of the garage into a room for Loren but that was put on hold when LIndsey got sick and now until we are finacially able. It seems to be working ok. The biggest problem is how messy Lindsey is....she has craft stuff all over. Honestly she doesn't clean up very well. She's does wonderful at clinic and school but not here. Poor Loren will probably step in some glue!!!! :) Loren complains some about it but secretly she likes it. They each have their own bed but when I went in to check on them last nite they were both snuggled together in Loren's.

I was told yesterday that we all need to get flu shots. LIndsey and Hayden included. The flu could be devastating to her. She will be immuncommpromised for up to a year. I would suggest to everyone to get one!!
NO NASAL VACCINATIONS THOUGH...THE SHOT ONLY!! The nasal is a live virus and Lindsey cannot be exposed to that! We will actually get to take her to the regular pediatrician. This will be her first visit to their office. I don't think she's gonna care for strangers poking her!!! Should be interesting.

I would also like to remind everyone of the need for Blood and platelets. There is still a crisis going on. Cancer patients receive them frequently and need them to recover from chemotherapy. So if you have the time please go donate.

I would also like to wish Lindsey's Winter TNT runners much love, luck and success in your running and fundraising efforts. It has been getting cold here at night and I know some of you guys are running EARLY in the morning. Once again I would like you to know that you are making a difference and we are amazed and inspired by your dedication and commitment to helping the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. I urge all families who are in treatment to give your local chapter a call. It is a very supportive group of people. Everyone we have met through this orginization has touched our lives and we have made many friends. Many of them have called for info and turned around and sat on the phone with me for an hour to just listen and let me talk. It has helped tremendously. Thanks you guys!!

We are juggling a busy weekend..2 birthday parties, one wedding and a "spa" party which mommy will attend by herself!! :) Have a great weekend! Thanks for checking in on us.

Thursday, October 16, 2003 9:54 PM CDT

Hi everyone,

All is well. Lindsey is feeling good, running, playing and making huge messes!!!!! We have put the girls in a room together. We decided to do it for the time being so that Hayden could have a room and we need some place to put all of his stuff!! Currently he is in our room.
It's a bit crowed!!! We had wanted to make part of the garage into a room for Loren but that was put on hold when LIndsey got sick and now until we are finacially able. It seems to be working ok. The biggest problem is how messy Lindsey is....she has craft stuff all over. Honestly she doesn't clean up very well. She's does wonderful at clinic and school but not here. Poor Loren will probably step in some glue!!!! :) Loren complains some about it but secretly she likes it. They each have their own bed but when I went in to check on them last nite they were both snuggled together in Loren's.

I was told yesterday that we all need to get flu shots. LIndsey and Hayden included. The flu could be devastating to her. She will be immuncommpromised for up to a year. I would suggest to everyone to get one!!
NO NASAL VACCINATIONS THOUGH...THE SHOT ONLY!! The nasal is a live virus and Lindsey cannot be exposed to that! We will actually get to take her to the regular peditriacian. This will be her first visit to their office. I don't think she's gonna care for strangers poking her!!! Should be interesting.

I would also like to remind everyone of the need for Blood and platelets. There is still a crisis going on. Cancer patients receive them frequently and need them to recover from chemotherapy. So if you have the time please go donate.

I would also like to wish Lindsey's Winter TNT runners much love, luck and success in your running and fundraising efforts. It has been getting cold here at night and I know some of you guys are running EARLY in the morning. Once again I would like you to know that you are making a difference and we are amazed and inspired by your dedication and commitment to helping the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. I urge all families who are in treatment to give your local chapter a call. It is a very supportive group of people. Everyone we have met through this orginization has touched our lives and we have made many friends. Many of them have called for info and turned around and sat on the phone with me for an hour to just listen and let me talk. It has helped tremendously. Thanks you guys!!

We are juggling a busy weekend..2 birthday parties, one wedding and a "spa" party which mommy will attend by herself!! :) Have a great weekend! Thanks for checking in on us.

Tuesday, October 14, 2003 3:25 PM CDT

Hi everyone,

We went to clinic today and everything looks awesome.

WBC 9.7
hgb 13.2
platelets 368
Anc 5641

LIndsey is doing really well. We got spend a little time at the clinic and visit with everyone. The Doctor said she looks really good. We will head back in a month. We got to see Austin but not too many other kids. By the time we got there it was pretty quiet. I will update more later

Lisa

Monday, October 6, 2003

Hi everyone,

I finally got Brian to show me how to upload new photos!!! He wanted to give the whole computer class.....but I had to cut him off!! :) Those of you who know Brian, know what I mean!
Lindsey had a good day at school.
She is feeling and looking really good. The picture above is from last year at Halloween.

Lindsey's Make a Wish Fairies had a Tea Party for Lindsey this weekend at at the Painted Lady. Which is a old Victorian House that just happens to be painted pink. All the little girls dressed up in costumes and of course Lindsey was Sleeping Beauty
She got little presents from her fairies Kaylene and Cindy and also ones from the tea place. They also gave her a HUGE DELICIOUS CHOCOLATE CAKE!!! It was such a special day! Thank you to all involved especially The Make a Wish team.

Please keep our friend Jacob in your prayers. He was admitted into the Hospital today. He is still having problems with eating. He is still on Meds which reak havoc on his system and is having tummy issues.

Thank you

Lisa

ps. We wanted to give a BIG SHOUT OUT to Sweetie. She walked the 6 mile Chesapeake Bay Bridge tunnel walk last week. It was a goal she set and we are very proud that she accomplished it!!

Friday, October 3, 2003 8:57 AM CDT

Hi everyone,

Just a quick update to let you know the "mystery" fever is gone. I spoke with the clinic yesterday and they believe it is a viral illness. If the fever returns or she get's worse I will take her in Monday for counts. They said I could bring her in yesterday but I'm trying not to be the hysterical mother.

As alway please keep all of our friends in your prayers.
Our very close friend Jacob is having a spinal and Bone marrow today. He has still been having some eating issues and has been having some pretty severe headaches. This family is very special to us so please hope for the best.

Please say a prayer of comfort for Neena, Taylors mom.
She is going day by day but it is very difficult. Her mother is also sick with cancer and struggling through chemo. Please keep this family in your thoughts.

www.caringbridge.org/va/taylor

Lisa

Thursday, October 2, 2003 9:15 AM CDT

Hi everyone,

It's looks as though Lindsey may have whatever Loren and Hayden got. She had a fever Monday night that went up to 102.5 but by morning was gone. She was fine all day tuesday and most of the day Wednesday but developed a fever again of 101.2 last night. She has had two bad headaches and has said her groin area is hurting. Now as much as I know the other two were sick with fevers it still churns up some emotions that are hard to deal with. This is pretty much how Lindsey was when she first got sick. Then of course it got progressively worse. I know it is probably a nasty cold of even the flu.....but I've seen the other side...the one with cancer. I am trying so hard to stay calm. I'm even trying to say "Hey we have a "typical" childhood illness.
But I'ts been really hard!!! I know this sounds crazy but it's too early for Lindsey to have a "typical" illness. I'm not ready! I almost think I would feel better if she kept the fever for a couple of days instead of being fever free for 36 hours and then it sneaking back. This morning she was back down to 98.3. I don't know if the two corrulate but it seems the fever will go down after she gets her antibiotic. It is given on M-W-F. There are no bruises and no petichiae. I knew this would happen. That she would get sick and I would worry......I guess I just wasn't ready! I wanted a couple of years before we had any colds!! :) Take care and I will update soon. The nurse is calling me back and will let me know what if anything I should do.

Lisa

Monday, September 29, 2003

Hi everyone,

Loren and Hayden were both sick this weekend and Hayden is still not fully recovered. It's some sort of fever,throat, dizzy thing. It's seems so early in the year to be getting sick ! We've been struck twice. Two weekends ago we had the throw-ups! Hey at least everyone waited until Lindsey was off treatment. We are keeping our fingers crossed that Lindsey doesn't get it. Ssshhh...I'm not feeling well myself today but maybe if we keep it quiet I won't get sick. Both girls went to school today but I am standing by the phone just in case I get the call. I told them if they don't feel well to head to the nurse's office.

Lindsey has been feeling really good! She played all weekend with her friend next door, Tiffany. Last night I noticed a small bruise on her forearm....I don't think it's anything but it's the first bruise since going off treatment. As I expected I'm a little freaked out about it. It is very small. I am going to call Kim (her nurse) today just to get reaffirmation. Kids are gonna get bruises!! It's just a little different for us Leukemia parents. It doesn't help that we, ok I, don't have the safety net of clinic and blood draws. Yep, I miss not knowing what those #'s are! I will update later in the week.

Take care,

Love and prayers to all of our friends, family and Caringbridge families.

Lisa

Lisa and Lindsey

NEW LINK: We have a friend at clinic who just started his CB site a few weeks ago. His name is Austin and he is an amazing, spunky little guy. He had a brain tumor that was removed and it was diagnosed as Medulloblastoma. If you'd like to check out his story go to:
www.caringbridge.org/nc/austin
Don't forget to sign his guestbook :)

Monday, September 22, 2003 1:23 PM CDT

Hi Everyone,

Sorry we've been unable to update! We've been without power since thursday morning and still have no idea when we will. Everyone in the neighborhood has it except for about 20-40 houses. Our neighbors 2 doors down have power but obviously we're not on the same grid....uggg! Oh well it could be worse!

Lindsey did get her port out this morning. Everything went fine. She's officially "deported" (hehe). I don't know when I'll be able to update again. So everyone take care and we hope you're all ok

Love and prayers

Lisa and Lindsey

Wednesday, September 17, 2003 5:04 PM CDT

Hi everyone,

I wanted to do a quick update just in case we lose power. We have "secured" everything in the yard (except) the trees :) and hopefully have enough provisions. I got some bottled water and things we can grill....hopefully this won't become neccessary.

I wanted to let all of our caringbridge familys know how beautiful Taylor's service was. There was wonderful singing and beautiful memories shared by her family. Neena spoke and I don't believe I've ever heard anything more eloquent. I stand by what I said earlier about Neena being one of the strongest women I've ever met. In the face of her lose she got up a shared a very special piece of herself and Taylor. Neena always posted the best pictures of Taylor on her website. I once remarked that she took the best pictures then I realized it was the subject. Taylor is a beautiful Angel!

I ask Lindsey today if she would want to know if any of her little friends became Angels and she said yes. I asked her would it make her sad. She said it would really make me sad if it was Fisher, Austin, Taylor or Little Brian. I just don't have the heart to tell her.

LIndsey's port removal is resheduled for Monday.

Stay safe

Love and prayers
The Millers

ps. TNT staff thank you for the Cookies! Now we have our sweets for the Hurricane.

Sunday, September 14, 2003 9:04 PM CDT

It is with a great deal of sadness that I write that Taylor earned her Angel wings this morning. I get so conflicted when we lose one of our friends. I am sad they're gone but at peace with the ending of they're suffering. I still struggle with them being sick at all. Taylor fought one of the hardest battles I know of. She was sweet, kind and loved the color purple. Her mother Neena is one of the strongest women I've ever met. She fought valiantly for Taylor. Please keep her family in your thoughts and prayers.


I will update more later. LIndsey, Loren and I have a horrible stomach bug. I mean horrible!!! The only one of us semi tolerating it is LIndsey. She said she was used to "puking" . Thats so sad. I'm sorry we missed everyone at the picnic. We would have much rather been there! Fisher I'm glad your better.

Thursday, September 11, 2003 5:46 PM CDT

Hi Everyone,

All is well. We have been driving the girls to school. Loren actually thinks the bus is to loud and now that she is a safety patrol she likes to be on time. I went to Lindsey's class today and talked to them. I brought a little video and some of Lindsey's medical supplies.
Kindergarteners are so funny. They ask the same question a few times and really wanted to share their medical experiences with me. It was cute.

We are going to Busch Gardens on Sat.with the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society and to the clinic picnic on Sunday. So we are back to a busy weekend.

Lindsey is going to the surgeon on Monday to have her port looked at and to be set up for removal on the following Friday, the 19th. Whew!

Lisa and Lindsey

ps. Watch for a Billboard of Lindsey to be arriving in the area soon.....:) I will let you know more about that later.

Monday, September 8, 2003 8:45 AM CDT

Hi everyone,

We had a nice uneventful weekend! We have no clinic this week, no interviews, no speeches! Whew! What are we gonna do!?We are officially off treatment. I'm not exactly sure how I feel about this yet. The emotions range from excitement to fear! We will take it day by day.

We are exploring the option of putting Lindsey in a private kindergarten. If anyone know of any schools in our area that offer scholarships please email me at silvergirl0203@verizon.net We are not displeased with Centerville and their not lacking we just want a little more. We are not finan.cially able to do private school hence the scholarship.

Thank you for all the support this week with Lindsey and the school situation. I think it actually hurt my feelings more than hers. She has done so well with everything.

We will update towards the end of the week.

If you have the time please donate blood or platelets.

Lisa and Lindsey

Wednesday, September 3, 2003 10:14 PM CDT

Hi everyone,

Well I'm feeling really sad right now. Lindsey told me tonite that a little boy on the bus was saying "You don't have any hair, your bald". As much as I expected little kids to be curious and say things it didn't make it any easier. She also had an incident where someone touched her head yesterday on the bus. Which I called the principal about! I know kids will be kids but no one should put there hands on other children. Especially in LIndsey case. We are gonna have to do some kind of education for the students. If after that they tease her then there just mean. We wanted so much for her to have this wonderful experience of kindergarten and the bus but honestly now it makes me sick to my stomach.
I am hoping after the kids get used to her appearance it will be different. She fought so hard to get there! We were so proud when she didn't wear a hat....now today she wore a bandana. It was the first time she's ever felt akward about her appearance....in the entire 7 months.
I am so conflicted. I want so badly to drive her to school.
But how can I take that away from her! I want to get on that bus and scream at those kids that she's been through more than they may go through in a lifetime! I want to tell them that they really don't know what pain and sickness are! I want to tell them she's 100x's braver than they'll probably ever be! But they're kids!She also said she really hasn't played or talked to anyone in class except for her preschool friend Megan. I don't know if it's because they're busy and it's the second day or because she's different! I plan on going to the school on Monday and showing a video and letting the kids ask questions. Hopefully this can be worked out!

I have never posted our address but I am doing so now.It's listed below.
I would like to ask those who would like to please send LIndsey a little card or something to help encourage her! If you do would you please send Loren one also. She was so brave and took up for Lindsey on the bus.
We are very proud of both of our girls.

Love and prayers
LIsa

UPDATE SEPT. 4th 2003
Hi this is Lindsey,
I had a better day today. I really enjoy school. I haven't really talked to anyone yet but someday they will get to know me. I'm not gonna let any teasing bother me!! I'm proud and clear I'm a baldy! Thank you for the nice emails!

love lindsey

Typed by mom dictacted by LIndsey

Tuesday, September 2, 2003 9:10 PM CDT

Hi everyone,

Well I made it oops I mean Lindsey made it through her first day of kindergarten. :) I will confess and say I had a little meltdown at the school. It wasn't separation anxiety, fear or anything like that. Weirdly enough having something "normal" did it. Lindsey didn't even wear a hat. She said she wanted to get it out of the way right away!! I'm so proud of her! She said they learned all the rules today and she got a little treat for being so good.
Which is no suprise to me! :) Loren enjoyed her first day and loves her teacher. Hayden went back to there rooms and kinda looked around like "where are my sissy's". He was sssoooo excited when they came home! It was really cute and funny. Arms were flapping he was going in cirlces, giggling!. All in all it was a good day!

Please keep Taylor in your thoughts and prayers. She needs all the positive energy she can get right now!

Thank you to the Tnt members that sent the girls the school package. I would name you but Lindsey absconded the card...I'm sure to use for crafts!

Love and prayers
Lisa

Monday, September 1, 2003 8:27 AM CDT

Hi everyone,

What a busy but wonderful weekend we've had! Lindsey is feeling really good and excited about school starting.

Saturday we went to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society's pasta dinner. Loren, Lindsey and I all did speeches. I was so proud of the girls for getting up there in front of all those people and speaking. We met so many wonderful people! Some survivors, some people who had family members affected by blood cancers and some people just running for the cause! What an awesome group of people. The leukemia and Lymphoma Society staff were so nice and the girls loved all of them! Thank you for having us!!

Sunday we had Haydens birthday party. It was just "ducky". What a wonderful party!! Thanks so much for bearing with us on the date change! Thank you for all of Hayden's gifts.

Tomorrow Lindsey will start Kindergaten. Wow!! Seven month ago we were thinking we would still be in treatment and have to have a homebound teacher. I guess they didn't know how much Lindsey loves school. I'm even gonna let her ride the school bus. I'm gonna follow it....but hey that's a start. Tomorrow will be really significant for me and emotional. I am entrusting her care to the school for three hours.....I am thouroughly confident with them.....but I will miss my Princess Lindsey. Luckily Hayden will keep me running for those three hours...

Love and prayers

Lisa and Lindsey

Wednesday, August 27, 2003 9:25 PM CDT

Hi everyone,

A quick update from todays clinic visit

Hgb 9.9
anc 346
platelets 408 (yes 408!!!)

Lindsey is feeling better! She is really emotional. I have a feeling this happens when she is low on her hgb.
Her numbers are definitely recovering though. Her overall check up went well but we are holding off on doing the Bone Marrow biospy and spinal until next friday. With being sick this weekend Dr. Owen thought it best to let her numbers fully recover and I agree!! She will be able to start school though!

One of the local Tv stations did a story on Lindsey today for the Red Cross (wtkr channel 3). Dr. Owen, myself and LIndsey were all interviewed. It turned out to be an awesome piece and we hope it really raises awareness and provokes people to go and donate blood. All area malls are doing drives this weekend, so check it out!

Please continue to pray for our friend Taylor. She has a nasty fungal infection in her lungs right now and her blast for leukemia is still at 95. Please pray for her family during this difficult time. Docs have said they've done all they can and Neena and family are relying on faith and prayer right now.

Jacob is doing really well!!! Pray he continues on the path to total recovery!!

We are rescheduling Hayden's party for this Sunday at 2 at our house. If there's is anyone I've forgotten to notify please let me know!! We would love to see everyone!

Love and prayers,

Lisa and Lindsey

ps. We loved seeing all of our friends at the hospital this weekend! Thankyou for making Lindsey's stay on 8b so much fun. Lee...your wet dude!!!
Janet.....what would I do without you!! If I had to go to the Barbie prom one more time I was gonna go insane :)
I didn't even like my own prom (hehe)

Monday, August 25, 2003 3:45 PM CDT

Hi everyone,

Sorry I've been unable to update but LIndsey was admitted to the hospital on Saturday for a fever. She woke up feeling horrible and had a really bad headache. We took her temp and it was 102 so we headed down to the ER. We spent 12 hours in the ER in a very small room with no windows. With a very crabby nurse. We had an issue where she didn't flush Lindsey's line with heparin and I very nicely explained to her that we always needed that done! She rudely informed me she didn't have an order for it and that it didn't need to be done......well Lindsey was upset and I was trying to deal with that and the crabby nurse was supposed to check with the doc...which now I'm sure she never did so Lindsey did not get flushed correctly!
So at 3 am lab draws Lindsey's line was "clotted" and they couldn't draw blood off it. I told them what had happened in the ER and needless to say they were not happy!!! Now instead of just listening to Mom the Crabby ER nurse has had several reports written, probably a reprimand and her supervisor will be getting a letter from Mom!! They had to have IV therapy put a med in that dissolved the clot and luckily that worked. We got discharged around 3 on Mondayand got home to meet the home health care nurse. Lindsey will be on Iv antibiotics for a couple of days. We will head to clinic on wed. for counts. Her immune (anc) is had a whooping 66 right now.

Needless to say we had to cancel Haydens party and will hopefully reschedule it for this Sunday. We just couldn't have his party without Lindsey there.

Brian filled in for me at the Red Cross donor appreciation dinner and did a wonderful heartfelt speech. Even with Lindsey sick we felt it was very important to do this. They are still very low on platelets.
Some kids have to wait all day for them. So please go donate if you can!! I will update more after Lindsey's clinic appt.

Love and prayers

Lisa and LIndsey

To all of friends who go to CHKD/ER the Crabby nurses name was Jo Ann!!!!! I only mention this because I've since been told she's been crabby to others. She wouldn't even get bubbles for LIndsey when she had her port accessed!!!

Thursday, August 21, 2003 12:20 AM CDT

Hi everyone,

Hi ho hi ho it's off to clinic we go.......:)

#s for today

Hgb 9.8
platelets 68 (wehoo!!)
anc 126 (YIKES)

We are recovering from this last round but as you can see the anc (immune level) is way low!! We are very pleased that the platelets are coming up! Lindsey looks so pitiful...she has some nasty bruises..we need those platelets! We have a week off of clinic and will head down next Friday for a bone marrow biospy and spinal.
I am sure these will be fine but am still nervous. The finishing of treatment brings on a whole new wealth of worries.....

We will wait to make sure the counts fully recover before Lindsey starts school. Dr. Owen believes everything will be up by next Friday and she will be able to start on time. She is very excited!!

Thanks Bryan S. and Kenton for playing Barbies with LIndsey. You guys rock!!

Have a wonderful weekend.

Lisa

Tuesday, August 19, 2003 10:06 PM CDT

Hi everyone,

Were movin up, we want the world to know, go to let it show!!!

platelets 24
anc 275
hgb 9.5 ( this is the only # that dropped)

We are hoping these #'s are an indication that we are starting the recovery process of this last cycle of chemo.
Will head to clinic on thursday to check counts again just to make sure. We made the right decision in holding off on platelets although we have to be cautious because they are low and we don't want any unwanted bleeding or more bruising. I spoke with Ms. Miller the school nurse today and we will get together with Lindsey's teacher to go over everything. Hopefully I will meet with the principal at the end of the week to formally enroll Lindsey. They are such an awesome school and will help out however they can.

I would like to thank all the TNT members that have contacted us recently and over the past few months. I look forward to meeting everyone and sharing Lindsey and our family with you. I admire every single one of you for taking on the challenge of running a marathon for the cause of Leukemia/blood related diseases.

Friday will be Hayden's first birthday. I think back to last year and I remember how excited we all were and how I was so ready for it to be over!!! It was so hot!! I remember how Lindsey and Loren were so excited to see there baby brother. It seems like ages ago............
Part of me feels like I'm glad Hayden was a baby so he doesn't remember it but part of me feels like I missed out on some things. Last summer was the big celebration of having a baby. This summer is a big celebration of finishing chemotherapy. Who would've thought two summers in a row would be so eventful and life changing! Hey , I must confess I like Hayden better than Cancer!! :) If anyone would like to come to his party and I've inadvertently forgotten to invite you please let me know!!! We have been swamped with clinic and I am having memory loss...I think I've been around to much chemo :). I'm having sympathy symptoms :).

Please continue to pray for all of our friends and sick children.

PLEASE DONATE PLATELETS OR BLOOD!! SEVERE SHORTAGE!!!!!!!!

Love and prayers
Lisa

Monday, August 18, 2003 6:44 PM CDT

Hi everyone,

Well.....here's the deal

Hgb 10.3
platelets 22
anc 240

The platelet issue has arisen again. Lindsey's bar for recieving tranfusions was lowered to 10 platelets. She has had some bruising and petichiae so they were going to go ahead and tranfuse her today but after asking Kim about the 10 mark she spoke to Dr. Bevan and as a group we decided to hold off until tomorrow.
So we will head down early and have labs drawn to see which way,if any, we have gone. We are trying to hold off because Lindsey has had reactions to blood products.
She takes 3 premeds before any blood products but has still reacted so we want to get as low as possible. Reactions can sometimes be severe. Luckily we are only about 20 minutes from the hospital. I would rather drive back and forth than take any unneccesary risk.

There is also a SEVERE shortage of blood/platelets. So if you've ever thought about donating now would be a good time. Both of these have been crucial to Lindsey's treatment and recovery!

Love and prayers
Lisa

Saturday, August 16, 2003 11:26 AM CDT

Hi everyone,

We had clinic on Friday and things went well. We would have been in and out in a breeze but there was an electrical accident and the hospital tubing system went down for a short while. Luckily though Lindsey's blood had already been drawn and processed. So we were still out fairly quick. Hey Austin thanks for playing with Lindsey!! Your the cutest.

Hgb 11
platelets 52
anc 864

#s are still going down so we will head back to clinic on Monday. She will probably need a platelet transfusion. Lets hope there are no reactions. Speaking of platelets....if you have the time please go and donate.
Blood and platelets are crucial to cancer patients. We all appreciate the efforts people make to donate. thanks

All in all Lindsey is feeling good. Thanks for all the love and prayers. Our friend Jacob had his lines removed today!! Yeah! This is so awesome. Please continue to pray for Taylor. She is in Texas hopefully starting a protcol that will help her.

Lisa

Tuesday, August 12, 2003 10:38 AM CDT

Hi everyone,

Just a quick update. Clinic was pretty quick today.
Counts
Hgb 11.5
platelets 110
Anc 1170

We are on day seven so those #s will continue to drop.
Thanks for all the prayers. Lindsey has been feeling alot better and fever free!!! We are not sure what caused the problems last week but thankfully they are over. WE head back down to clinic on Friday for counts.

Please keep Taylor and her family in your prayers. They got the Doc at MD Anderson in Texas to agree to evaluate her and headed down there on Monday. Please pray that they will come up with a treatment plan that will cure Taylor. She has been through so much and deserves to win this battle!! You can visit her at
www.caringbridge.org/va/taylor

Thanks LIsa

PLEASE DONATE BLOOD/PLATELETS THEY ARE MOVING INTO A NATIONWIDE CRISIS. BLOOD/PLATELETS ARE A CRITICAL PART OF CANCER PATIENTS THERAPY!!! LINDSEY HAS RECIEVED BOTH NUMEROUS TIMES.

Tuesday, August 12, 2003 10:38 AM CDT

Hi everyone,

Just a quick update. Clinic was pretty quick today.
Counts
Hgb 11.5
platelets 110
Anc 1170

We are on day seven so those #s will continue to drop.
Thanks for all the prayers. Lindsey has been feeling alot better and fever free!!! We are not sure what caused the problems last week but thankfully they are over. WE head back down to clinic on Friday for counts.

Please keep Taylor and her family in your prayers. They got the Doc at MD Anderson in Texas to agree to evaluate her and headed down there on Monday. Please pray that they will come up with a treatment plan that will cure Taylor. She has been through so much and deserves to win this battle!!

Thanks LIsa

Wednesday, August 6, 2003 8:52 PM CDT

UPDATE: AUG 7TH
Lindsey's fever broke this morning around 1am, it got up to 101.9.
This morning she is at 97.1:)
Hopefully it will stay this way!!


Hi everyone,

Ever hear nothing goes as planned....well that's how our last week of chemo has been! It started Monday with a very long day at clinic.....orders had to be written and rewritten, Kim was extremely busy and everything seemed backwards. It seems all of Kims kids had issues this week...including Lindsey. We arrived at 8:30 and Lindsey's labs weren't drawn around 10:30. Which backs up everything. It wasn't anyone's fault or anything inparticular just a combo of things! What some would call a "typical Monday". I try not to get too stressed about it but I miss Hayden and Loren! Luckily Brian took Monday off. I had a feeling we would be there a while.


Tuesday we headed to clinic when Lindsey's chemo was ready. We took Hayden with us. Loren went to Brians work. We were in and out fairly quick! Ah, but to only have the dreaded fever appear at around 10pm. So we headed to the ER, which for a Tuesday was packed!
The nurse seemed a little put out I asked to be isolated but hey she'll get over it!! Many hours later, 5am, we were headed home.

Jump to 3 hours later. I got everyone up (my eyes felt like sand paper) and dropped Hayden off and headed down to clinic. Lindsey still had a low grade fever so we were in the isolation room. Lindsey got her etoposide (chemo) and her fever kept jumping around. Her dose of Rocephin went in around 2:15. I was preparing to leave and Lindsey starting having chills/shakes and her temp was up to 102.8. Kim was helping another patient so Teresa came in and was like your not going anywhere. Then Kim came in and took Lindsey's BP.
We started at 90/46 and she was up to 135/65. So the doc was called.....they were not sure what was going on. Luckily it came down over the next couple of hours and we were allowed to come home. Thankfully Kim kept calm which helped me! Kim you really deserve a break this weekend girl!!!!

Heres the deal though. It is possible Lindsey has an infection on her line. If this is the case and any moment we could be called to be admitted. 12am, 6am...at any time if the alarm sounds that something has grown on her culture. Possibly she reacted to the rocephin breaking down an infection on her line causing a "septic" reaction. Were just not sure!!! Please say a prayer that this is just a fever of unknown origin and will pass! We just want the rest of her treatment to go smoothly. I am monitoring her fever thru the night and morning and will call the clinic to see if she needs to be seen tomorrow. Her fever is still bouncing around and was 101.7 at 9:40

Please continue to pray for Taylor she is still having some very painful issues and needs some relief. She is having some gvh and her parents are hoping and praying the donor cells are taking over.

Jacob is doing alot better. Please continue to pray that his appetite increases so he can get stronger.

We also have a friend at clinic who just started a CB site, If you get a minute stop by and say Hi. His is such a cutie! www.caringbridge.org/va/fisherc

Love and prayers,
Lisa

Sunday, August 3, 2003 12:02 AM CDT

Hi everyone,

Sorry I haven't updated but medically everything has been the same. Lindsey is feeling pretty good. Doing all sorts of crafts and making HUGE messes!! :) But that's ok, every artist will tell you to create a masterpiece you have to be messy!! In the last few months she has had and expressed such a positive attitude! We are very proud of her!!

Loren got home from camp on Friday. She had a blast!
She is anxious to go back next year and thinks it should be two weeks!! They did all sorts of fun stuff! We are so happy she got to do something for "her" this summer!

Hayden will be turning one on August 22. Time has flown by!! He was just 5 months old when Lindsey was diagnosed. He is having serious "mommy" issues. We have begun the whole separation anxiety period. Mommy has had it the whole time :) I think Hayden has finally said enough!! I feel so bad for him. I never really left the girls. Luckily we are almost finished!
He is so cute! Walking around, entertaining us! He has big almond shaped eyes....with of course long eyelashes. The girls love him to pieces!!

We will be starting our last round of chemo tomorrow.
We will go to the clinic on Mon, tues, wed for 90 minute infusions and will do the cytarabine shot at home twice a day for 5 days!

Update: the Red Cross postcard had some typographical errors in it so they are redoing them and will be sending me more. I will be sending them out as soon as I get them.

Please continue to pray for LIndsey and all of our friends and other children suffering from illnesses. If you have the time please go down and donate Blood and or platelets. They are moving into a nationwide crisis on Red blood. When you donate you are sustaining or SAVING someone's life. It is that serious!

Love and prayers

Lisa and Lindsey

Friday, July 25, 2003 9:08 PM CDT

Hi everyone,

Clinic update:

Hgb 12.0
Platelet 283 Her body is recovering on it's own!!
Anc 798

These #'s have earned us 10 days off from clinic! :)
WEWHOO! Although I must say I will miss everyone there. The staff are all so great and the kids.....well I must say Lindsey and I love all of them! We have so many new friends. They are all so cute. Lindsey is feeling good. She has had a little leg pain but I believe it's "growing pains". She grew an inch this last month and is almost back to her pre-sickness weight! Many moons ago I told Dr. Bevan eating would not be a problem! :) LIndsey has been eating all of her dinner plus snacks and then around 10pm wants a turkey sandwich!

We will start her next and last chemo on August 4th. This will consist of three days of clinic meds and a shot of chemo at home for 5 days/twice a day. We had this round once before and she did pretty well. She will have to stay on the Zofran (tummy med) the whole time. The last 6 months have flown by! The 27th will mark that point and let me tell you it is still surreal!

Loren is leaving for camp on Sunday and although I am excited for her I will miss her! She has been awesome big sister to Lindsey and Hayden. Lindsey doesn't want her to go! They have been sleeping together for the last week!! I go in there and they are all snuggled up together! I guess I'll go back to sleeping with Lindsey! :)

All in all things are good! Brian will finish teaching his class on Monday. I still can't believe he was teaching a college class! For those of you who know Brian understand! He looks like he's one of the students! He actually got carded at the wedding we went to last weekend! Which by the way was a blast! It has been over a year 1/2 since we've been out together!

Please continue to pray for all of our friends. Taylor is still having a rough time and really needs all the love and support she can get! If you have a prayer chain I ask that you put her on it! Please visit her at www.caringbridge.org/va/taylor

Ok, here's our Jacob fix!!! He is doing so much better! He actually got on the phone and talked to me! Let me tell you he has the sweetest little voice!! He even had a friend spend the nite over! This is just amazing! Please continue to pray he stays on this wonderful road to recovery!

Have a good weekend!

Lisa and Lindsey

Ps. To all the TNT members: YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME AND INSPIRING!! We want you to know that we are honored to have Lindsey has a patient honoree!
We will see you at the Rock and Roll 1/2 marathon!
We will be the one's with HUGE SMILES ON OUR FACES! (we'll be the ones with the amazing Princess Lindsey)

Tuesday, July 22, 2003 9:44 PM CDT

Hi everyone,

Quick update:

hgb 11.6
platelets 190
anc 60 (way low)

We are not sure which way Lindsey is headed with counts still so we will go back to clinic on Friday.
She is feeling pretty good physically but has been somewhat emotional :) She is even starting to have hair grow in, it feels like peach fuzz. Were not sure if it will survive through these two rounds . We never had a bald baby so it's all new to us!

Jacob was at Duke for his six months studies so please pray that all goes well! All in all he is feeling much better but still needs to be able to eat more!

Also , once again I ask that everyone continue to pray for Taylor and her family! She has been through so much and really needs some relief from some of the medical issues she has going on. Please visit her site at www.caringbridge.org/va/taylor.

Loren is doing great and will be leaving for camp on Sunday. We will miss her! Hayden is walking, blowing kisses, making animal noises, clapping...and so much more! He is quit the little entertainer and flirt and has become VERY attached to Mommy!

Please sign LIndsey's guestbook!!!

Love
Lisa and LIndsey

Thursday, July 17, 2003 12:57 AM CDT

Hi friends and family,

We had clinic this morning for labs and here are the numbers

WBC .4
HGB 11.2
platelets 187
ANC 133

We are on day 10 so these #s are still going down. The biggest significant drop was the ANC. She is very neutropenic. So that means visitors are to a minimum and if you've had exposures to anything just email :).
We will go back neXt Tuesday for counts again. All in all she is feeling really good.

Funny little story:
Last night we decided to make cards for our friend Taylor. Those of you who know Lindsey know that she abosulety loves crafts. She would be happy with a piece of paper, scissors and glue. I swear she could probably craft herself off a deserted island. Anyhow, Loren wanted to make some also, well Lindsey put her hands on her hips and said "You can use my equipment but I'm gonna have to watch ya". (Sharon I about died. Is Jacob sending her karma or what?) I used to think she was a little Next door with Katie Brown (craft person) but now I'm thinking she's a little Martha Stewart!!

Ok now for the update: Jacob is doing really good! He's is bargaining with the Docs about taking out the feeding tube. His spirits are much better and hopefully he will get busted out this weekend.

Please continue to pray for Taylor. I sincerely ask that if your visiting Lindsey's site to please pop over there and offer words of support and encouragement.! She is a very special little girl!
www.caringbridge.org/va/taylor

The list keeps growing....we have also met a new friend at clinic. Her name is Abby and she is absolutely adorable. Lindsey thinks she is the cutest thing. Thanks Abby for letting Lindsey sit on your bed with you!
She suffers from chronic neutropenia and is therefore succeptible to fevers and infections. Please pray that this little girl stays fever free and will grow out of this.

Lastly for those who you would like the Red Cross postcard featuring Lindsey on it e mail me your address and I will send you one! silvergirl0203@verizon.net

Thanks

Lisa and Lindsey

DONATE YOUR BLOOD OR PLATELETS! IT SAVES LIVES

Monday, July 14, 2003 11:09 AM CDT

Hi everyone,

Lindsey is feeling really good. We got to go swimming at Gigi and Grandaddy's Saturday and she was like a little fish. I think the bald head makes her more aerodynamic :) Hey when I swam all the guys shaved there legs, heads, etc. Anyway she had a good time. It was fun to see her enjoying herself. If it doesn't stop downpouring here she'll be able to swim in the backyard.

Her #'s right now are good.
Hgb 11.8
platelets 276
anc 2883

We finished chemo on Wednesday so I 'm expecting those #'s to drop by the end of next week. She is doing awesome with meds. We started pretending it was something else. First it was a spoonful of sugar....now it's steak. I always told Dr. Bevan the girl loved food!
We had a nice short clinic visit and will head by down on Thursday for counts again. Dr. Owen said it is looking good for her to start Kindergarten on time. Wouldn't that be awesome. She loves school and what a "normal" thing for us! Thanks again for all the love, support and prayers.

Please remember to keep all of friends in your prayers.
Jacob is holding is own but still needs to be able to eat more. He is still in the hospital. You can visit his site at www.caringbridge.org/va/jacob.

Once again, please remember Taylor and her family in your prayers. Treatments have failed for her after a lengthy battle and she needs so many prayers to get thru this. She is a precious little girl. You can visit her at www.caringbridge.org/va/taylor

Thanks again,

Lisa and Lindsey

ps. If you go donate blood/platelets Lindsey will autograph the postcard for you! :)

Friday, July 11, 2003 9:45 PM CDT

Hi everyone,

Yes I am updating again. Lindsey is fine. I just felt compelled to write and let all of you know what a sad month this has been for caring bridge families.
There have been so many beautiful children that have become angels. In these last months I have followed many stories and even corresponded with some online. I have also met a great friend. Who weirdly as it sounds I wish I'd never met. You see then I wouldn't know how sick her child is. How I wish we would have met under different circumstances. How I wish our children were the kids they were a year ago. I guess had I never gone to clinic I wouldn't have met the wonderful people there either. Sometimes I wished I hadn't. You sit next to people that are experiencing the worst thing in there life. There child is sick. Sometimes it makes me physically ill to go to clinic because I know that maybe next week that child won't be there.It is sad to see all the new diagnosis coming in. The parents have this stricken terrified look that I'm sure must have been plastered on my face 51/2 months ago. It is truly life changing.

Sometimes it is the best place for me to be! Sometimes you see that child walk out of there that is gonna make it! Luckily I firmly believe that will be Lindsey! I ask that all of you hug your children. Don't take for granted anything! Because at any moment things could change. I ask that you pray for the families of all sick children. Pray that God gives them strength,comfort and peace during there difficult time.

Lisa

Friday, July 11, 2003 8:48 AM CDT

Hi everyone,

Lindsey is still feeling pretty good. The occasional tummyache and a little tired but that's it so far. We headed down to clinic yesterday to have her port deaccessed but won't go for an actual appointment until Monday. Next week we will see......I am also really tired. I have decided that 6 hours of sleep ( interrupted sleep) is not enough. I'm not complaining it's just catching up with me! I feel like I can't be 100ith Lindsey, Loren and Hayden...but we are almost at the end so it will be ok. By the way those of you who have donated platelets should receive a postcard from the Red Crosswith Lindsey's story on it . It will also be coming out for Red blood donations. I will have extra's but if you want one you have to go donate (hehe). I think it really raises awarness and helps to put a face with the need for donations.

Jacob update: He is doing better! He needs to eat and drink more or the tube goes in....Lindsey sent him an email and told him how yucky it was. It's just so hard when your not feeling well. The last thing you want to do is eat. So keep him in your thoughts and prayers. The tube is reaaallllyyy yucky! (from Lindsey )

Lisa and Lindsey

Wednesday, July 9, 2003 10:29 PM CDT

Hi everyone

Saturday, July 5, 2003 11:13 AM CDT

Update: Sunday nite
The party went well....Lindsey is very tired but she had alot of fun. We are supposed to be admitted on Tue. we will update then.


Hi Everyone,

I ask all of you who have followed Lindsey's story and who know us to please pray for a friend of ours. Jacob is having a really rough time right now and more so than ever he needs your prayers. He is in the hospital in Roanoke fighting several different things. I ask that you not only pray for his recovery but to pray to give him strength to fight. He is so very tired. Jacob has been through more in this last year than any of us will probably go through in a lifetime.

Please pray for his parents. Help them to have the strength to continue to make the decisions they need too. Please pray for some comfort for them while they watch their child go thru this. It is not easy to see your child sick.


Thank you

LIsa

You can visit his site at www.caringbridge.org/va/jacob

Wednesday, July 2, 2003 9:31 AM CDT

Hi everyone,

Ok straight to the #'s

hgb 9.4
platelets 152
anc 352

Lindsey's #'s are rising on there own (no gcsf) so that's good. We will go in next Tuesday for admittance although they don't think she'll make it. Her anc has to be at 1000 or higher. So everyone get out you dancing shoes and do the little anc dance. If she doesn't make it the next chemo round will be delayed....which is ok but now that were down to 2 rounds we are excited and anxious to be done. A little nervous too.....but I'm working on that :)

She has been feeling really good. We are excited that we get to go to Mamu's ( my grandmothers 80th Bd party) The oncology nurse even said it was ok for her to swim....usually when there neutropenic they can't but were thinking her anc will be at least 500 by then!

So we are spending the rest of the week relaxing and enjoying our break from clinic.....Please continue to keep all of our friends in your thoughts and prayers.

Love Lisa and Lindsey

ps. I know of this really nice place that is airconditioned and they have movies and snacks and they let you have a blanket and pillow.....so go check it out.

THE AMERICAN RED CROSS

Saturday, June 28, 2003 8:48 PM CDT

Hi everyone,

Well here's the deal. LIndsey's # have moved down a smidge...so were really in a holding pattern

Hgb 8.9
Anc 124
platelets 60

So we have to go to clinic on Tuesday...hopefully she will have moved up so that we know which way she is going. She has been feeling pretty good. A little emotional....but hey that's ok! Her appetite has been a little wishy washy but when she's eat it is good. She ate a whole steak the other nite :).

Her next round of Chemo should start around the 11th or so counts depending.We will be back inpatient this time. But hopefully for only 3-4 days. If all goes well it should be our last inpatient stay! Barring any unexpected fevers or ailments. The last round will be at home with me giving a chemo shot again.

GOOD NEWS...YEAH!
Jacob and his family had an awesome trip to Myrtle Beach. He really got to spend alot, I meant alot of time at the arcade! This is so great. He has not really been able to go anywhere or do anything in a long time. It was the best medicine for him!!! His mom and I have become very close and I'll tell ya in the last few months of talking to her this is the happiest I've heard her. I can't explain how it feels to have your child be able to enjoy something that in the past we took for granted. Wow I'm so happy for them. Please continue to pray for his continued recovery.

I will update after Tuesday's visit.

Love,

Lisa and LIndsey

Monday, June 23, 2003 9:42 AM CDT

Hi everyone,

Well just when I think I've got it all figured out.....there was a platelet issue on Friday. To give or not. Lindsey had dropped from 50 to 30 overnite and her nurse had already accessed her because we assumed Dr. Owen would order them. Well...normally they tranfuse around 20 or if your low and as Lindsey would say supermatic..she means symptomatic :), which she was, she had bruising on her arms. Typically when she's been that low on a Friday by Monday she's been at 2. Which to me is scary.When your platelets are low you can have all sorts of problems. They clot your blood so when your low small bumps, falls or other accidents can be serious. But which way was she going up or down. In my heart I felt she was still bottoming out. Doctor Owen was concerned that she has had reactions to blood products even with all 3 pre meds and didn't want to tranfuse unecessarily. Which I understood but was also nervous about the platelets getting too low. So what do you do! Sometimes they are just no right or wrong answers. I think Doctor Owen sensed I was nervous and decided we could try phresis platelets (single donor) which she still could react too but hopefully wouldn't. He has also decided that her level for receiving platelets will be closer to 10 than 20. Which of course doesn't fit Lindsey's schedule. She also seems to be around 10 on the weekend :). So after much discussion and an ulcer for me the platelets were given. She did fine. She slept right through the infusion and there were no reations. YEA!

Lindsey had a pretty good weekend. She is definitely tiring more easily and a little more emotional. But all in all she is doing well. We did lots of yard work this weekend. Brian relaxed :) It was beautiful and nice to enjoy being outside. Lindsey helped me form a little rock pathway and spread some dirt and grass seed. We are finally getting our backyard to where we can enjoy being in it.

Now I would like to say thank you again to all of those who have stood by us and supported us for the last 5 months. We definitely didn't expect peoples lives to stop for us but there are those of you who even when I said we didn't need help or that you'd done enough have ignored me and continued to be there for us! There are those who continually sign Lindsey's guestbook , watch Hayden, do things with Loren and just listen! This journey has not ended for us and again thank you to all of you who have continued to make this trip with us.

Sincerely,

Lisa, Lindsey, Brian, Loren and Hayden

ps. don't forget to keep our friends in your thoughts and prayers

Thursday, June 19, 2003 6:22 PM CDT

Hi everyone,

LIndsey had clinic today and heres the deal.
Anc 1625
hgb9.7
platelets 50

Of course she's not at the transfusable level for platelets because it's Thursday.....she will probably need them Sunday but the clinic is closed....so the Doc decided we needed to come for counts on Saturday. Thru the admissions office, which will be packed and to there lab which will be strangers. For those of you who know Lindsey you know she doesn't do well with strangers poking her for blood or accessing her port. Let's just say the last time a stranger drew her blood it took 45 minutes and 5 gallons of sweat, MINE! Which I really don't mind but it really cause Lindsey alot of STRESS! Which I don't want to put her through. I also didn't want her platelets dropping to 2 which is what they've typically done in the past by Monday. So the Doc and I came to a compromise...he was actually very understanding. He's also one of the best Doctors and our second favorite :). His idea was to have us come back tomorrow for counts and if she's any lower we'll discuss transfusion. Doctor Owen is there tomorrow (our favorite) so I'm gonna be putting some elamax on the o'l port. I'm pretty sure she'll have dropped some more!. He's LIndsey primary and knows how she operates....

All in all she's feeling pretty good. I on the other hand am having one serious allergy attack and am MISERABLE!!!!!!!! Loren and Hayden are doing well. Hayden's teeth are bothering him...so he's trying to bite everything...so watch out!

Once again I would like to ask everyone to donate blood and or platelets. Hey on a nice hot day you don't need to be out in the sun...go hang out at the Red Cross! :)

Love and prayer,

Lisa and LIndsey

Tuesday, June 17, 2003 7:19 PM CDT

Hi to everyone,

So far so good this week. Lindsey's levels are still fine.
They say the nader window when you bottom out is usually between day 7-14, typically Lindsey goes around day10-13. We are on day 8. Thursday we will check levels again. She is having a small ear issue, fluid that is not moving and she's on an antibiotic for that. I have noticed she's a little more tired yesterday and today than she has been. But all in all she's pretty good.

Thanks to all of you who continue to check in on her!
Don't forget to sign her guestbook! :)

As always please remember to keep all of our friends in your prayers. Jacob also has an ear issue...much worse than Lindsey's so please send lots of prayers
his way...they are due to go on there Myrtle beach trip
Sunday and he would have a much better time if he felt somewhat better...the kid deserves a break! :)

I would also like to mention a little boy that went to school with Lindsey named Cory. He has been dealing with a rare form of tumours since he was little(Hidsticytocis)(sp). He gets done with chemo...then a year later they come back. He finished treatment a short time ago...so please pray that he is finally done!
It is a lot for these kids and family's to go through.

Thanks for all your continued love and support!

Lisa and Lindsey

Saturday, June 14, 2003 9:11 PM CDT

Hi to everyone!

It's been a long week!!! But I feel blessed to be at home and for having my wonderful children. Lindsey is doing well. She is a little tired but she's had a long week also!
Longer than me really so I shouldn't complain. I think it was more physical for her and emotional for me! I would like to thank some people that have just really been there for me this week. Mainly just listening which is what I needed. So, thanks Melissa you got the crabby part.Thanks Sweetie aka my Momma you got a little bit of it all! To Sharon....you have become a real life line!

To Brian, what an awesome Dad....I love you!

Lisa

Thursday, June 12, 2003 9:29 PM CDT

It is with great sadness that I write that Akaida lost her fight with cancer on Monday and is now a little "princess Angel." She was truly a brave courageous little girl. Each day it becomes more of a struggle for me to understand why these kids fight so hard to lose the battle in the end. I do find comfort in the fact that she's not suffering or in pain anymore but it also slaps me in the face that this is what this nasty disease can do.
We may have long conversations, say hi or just nod or heads in passing at the clinic...but were are all bonded.
We are all praying for each others children. I ask that you pray for her family. I ask that you pray that they find some peace and comfort during this difficult time.
And to sweet little Akaida, your baby brother is so lucky to have his very own precious guardian angel! Bless you sweetheart! Catch all the butterflies you can in
Gods Garden.

Wednesday, June 11, 2003 3:58 PM CDT

Hi everyone,

Well were done for the week with chemo! Except for the shot at home! That will be until Friday nite. So far, so good, knock on wood. We will see what the weekend brings. Lindsey has been playing and staying up very late....12ish...and I've been getting up around 6ish...so it's been a tiring week!

Please continue to pray for all the children suffering from this and other illnesses.

Lisa and Lindsey

ps. thanks to all who went and donated blood/platelets

Thursday, June 5, 2003 7:30 PM CDT

Hi to everyone!

We have continued to have a good week! Lindsey's Make-A-Wish Fairies came on Tues. and she had NO problem telling them her wish!She even put on a costume show for them. She has been enjoying the swingset and fortunately we've had some good weather :)

Hayden has finally gotten a tooth! I was home to find it YEAH! and he took three steps yesterday!!!What an awesome week. Loren has been helping out and is looking forward to the end of school. She will be going to BRASS camp at the end of July. It s a camp for sibling of children with cancer!

LIndsey will start chemo on Monday and Kim, her hem-onc nurse said this round as with the other two will still be intense and bottom her out!We will just hope and pray that we get no icky side effects! Or fevers!

We ask that you continue to pray for our friends and all the children suffering with this horrible disease!
There have been some very sick children and some deaths recently! I have also seen many new faces at cliniic, some of them are very small children!

Lots of love and prayers

Lisa and Lindsey

ps. NEW EMAIL ADDRESS

Monday, June 2, 2003 9:43 AM CDT

Hi everyone!

Well we had a busy but fun weekend. What an awesome experience the "Relay for Life" was. We have already decided to be on the Hem-Oncs team next year! Saturday Brian starting building the swingset! Thank you sooo much to Mark Galdo for helping him!
They were out there until 10:30 last nite! We still have some to finish but for the most part it's done! Thank you again Mark!! Sunday we went to the Lee's friends picnic. What a nice event. They had ponies and we could barely keep Lindsey off them! Brian will adding the pics soon!She now says she wants a pony for her "Make a wish" or a unicorn! :). We will start chemo on the 9th of June! It will be outpatient this course and I will be giving a chemo shot at home! We will still be at clinic for other chemo for about 3 days in row!

Thanks again to everyone for your love and support!

Love Lisa, Brian, Loren, Lindsey and Hayden

ps remember our friends in your prayers!

Thursday, May 29, 2003 8:55 PM CDT

Hi everyone,

We had clinic this morning and all looks good. Lindsey's levels are on the rise hgb 12, anc 5046 and platelets 111.
These awesome #'s have earned us 11 hospital/clinic free days!!!(hopefully) We will start the next round of chemo in the clinc on the 9th. I will be learing to give Lindsey a chemo shot for this round and also the last round! Oh boy!
It saves us from being admitted :). The next round we will go in for a couple of days then we'll do the clinic/shot at home again.

We came home after clinic and of course it rained AGAIN. Except this storm brought some lightning....Lindsey, Hayden and I were sitting on the couch and heard a humongous snap, crackle, pop then saw orange/red flashes. Lightning struck the huge tree about 5 feet from the house! It blew the bark right off in several large spots it was pretty freaky. I don't think i ask for a sign or anything :). Hey now we have a conversation piece in the backyard.

The Make a wish team is coming on Tuesday. So that will be exciting! I'm pretty sure were going to Bora Bora, no just kidding, Disney World. We hope Lindsey won't be shy!

We are going to the Relay for Life tomorrow nite! Lindsey says she wants to take the "Survivors Lap"! That's my girl!!

Lots of Love and prayers

Lisa and Lindsey

Please continue to pray that Jacob stays on the road to recovery! That Akaida will get some relief from her neuroblastoma and that baby Noah will be able to recover from the picu! These children are so beautiful and awesome and need a lot a prayers. Thank you!

Tuesday, May 27, 2003 10:39 AM CDT

Hi Everyone from HOME!

Lindsey was released yesterday at around 4 after I thouroughly assured the Doc that I was going to keep her hydrated and she would eat! There was a good possibility of coming home on fluids but she was able to drink what they thought sufficient by 3. They were going to send home healthcare by today to draw blood but I told them I would run her to clinic! They have such a problem sometimes drawing blood and I didn't want a stranger poking Lindsey 5 times in her own home. Let's save that for the hospital! :)
We didn't have to wait for results so it was quick. They will call me with her counts which should be going up!We go for her regular clinic on Thursday!

Lindsey's commercial is airing this week. The schedule for wednesday is 7:57am
9:50am
12:10pm
2:26pm

Thank you again for all the love and support!

Please keep Akaida and her family in your thoughts and prayers! As well as all the other friends we have mentioned!
There is also a special baby I've been following on Caringbride, Noah is is having a difficult time, please play that he turns a corner.

Thanks again

Lisa and Lindsey

Thursday, May 22, 2003 6:19 PM CDT

Hi everyone,

I'm sorry I've been unable to update but were down at
CHKD and the computer wasn't letting me. Lindsey has had a pretty rough week! We are dealing with mucositis again and a fever that has persisted since Monday. Today it got back up to 102, it's been hanging at about 101. She is on antibiotics for the fever and morphine for the pain. She has been unable to eat since last Friday
(small bites of pudding and a few popsicles). She has not gone below 40lbs yet when and if she does they may hang TPN (nutrional supplement) It's been talked about but no decision yet. I think we all hoped Tuesday was the worst it would get but.......we were wrong! Her protocol didn't call for GCSF (immune boosting drug) this time but they went ahead and started it today! Her ANC has been ZERO!.She had to have platelets on Tuesday and had a reaction again both eyes swelled up like balloons! They are talking going to single donor platelets. She also needed red blood but they held that off until Wednesday. We are hoping she will turn a corner and we will be able to come home by the begining of next week.

There was a child who couldn't get his platelets on Tuesday because they didn't have is type. I've been told there was a real crisis right now! So once again I urge everyone to donate platelets! There are open on Sat. at
6:30 and I believe you can get late appointments! . I have talked with many parents at the clinic and they are all so grateful for the kindness of people that take time to donate! It is crucial to our childrens lives. Red blood also! Thank you to all of those who have already donated.

Please continue to pray for all our friends. Jacob is doing awesome! Jt. is doing well!

We would like everyone to pray for Akaida at the clinic.
She is 6 I believe and her family went to Sloan Kettering this week and did not recieve good news! She is a beautiful little girl and has had a huge fight! They are having to try alternative medicine for her so please pray that something clicks!! www.akaida.org

Thank you for all your love and support especially this week! For those of you who have had Hayden and Loren thank you sooooo much!!

You can send Birthday wishes to Loren at my Email address www.silvergirl0203@aol.com. Her Bd is Sunday she will be 10. She would love hearing from you!

Lots of Love
Lisa and Lindsey

Friday, May 16, 2003 12:19 AM CDT

Hi everyone,

Sorry I haven't updated this week but there hasn't been much medically to report. We have been home since late tues. afternoon and LIndsey has been feeling yucky in the mornings but usually perks up by afternoon. The steroid she's on is wreaking havoc with her emotions! and mine! :)

We have a bunch of flowers to plant and I've been trying to clean up the yard some. Lindsey enjoyed picking out all the flowers. Most of them are pink or have some variation of pink! Suprise, suprise!

We had clinic this morning and all is well
hgb 10
platelets 90

We will talk to you soon!

Love Lisa and Lindsey

Monday, May 12, 2003 1:29 PM CDT

Hi to everyone from CHKD,

Lindsey was feeling pretty yucky yesterday but is doing alot better today. Hopefully we'll be going home tomorrow.
Were waiting for her Methotrexate level to come down. She's in the playroom right now doing some crafts. She got to go down and film the commercial with the news anchor so be sure to watch. They all thought she was sooo cute. Hey that's not news to us! :) So be sure to watch!

I had a very nice Mothers Day! My cousin Cathy made an awesome meal for everyone! Brian got to hang out and play playstation with Lindsey!

Please continue to pray for all our friends.

Love Lisa and Lindsey

Saturday, May 10, 2003 9:13 AM CDT

Hi everyone from CHKD,

After a long day we were finally admitted. There was some concerns about starting Lindsey's chemo with another med she takes at home but fate intervened and Lindsey didn't take it! So she finally got her room and we came up to 8b.
It's backed us up by one day though so were starting her chemo today and her Lp will be tomorrow. She's doing great though. She's in the playroom right now. I was told I needed to leave with Mothers Day being tomorrow :).

I honestly believe we are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I have finally gotten some relief were I feel I can breathe again. I want to thank everyone for all the love and support they've shown us. It has meant the world to us...this week has been awesome...Lindsey changed clothes about 100xs and she's eating ice cream for breakfast! Thats my girl!!We still have 4 more rounds but I feel Lindsey is so much stronger and that she's going to be able to handle them alot better. Dr. Owen was very pleased with her progress.

Happy Mothers Day to everyone!

Love Lisa

Saturday, May 10, 2003 9:13 AM CDT

Hi everyone from CHKD,

After a long day we were finally admitted. There was some concerns about starting Lindsey's chemo with another med she takes at home but fate intervened and Lindsey didn't take it! So she finally got her room and we came up to 8b.
It's backed us up by one day though so were starting her chemo today and her Lp will be tomorrow. She's doing great though. She's in the playroom right now. I was told I needed to leave with Mothers Day being tomorrow :).

I honestly believe we are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I have finally gotten some relief were I feel I can breathe again. I want to thank everyone for all the love and support they've shown us. It has meant the world to us...this week has been awesome...Lindsey changed clothes about 100xs and she's eating ice cream for breakfast! Thats my girl!!We still have 4 more rounds but I feel Lindsey is so much stronger and that she's going to be able to handle them alot better. Dr. Owen was very pleased with her progress.

Happy Mothers Day to everyone!

Love Lisa

Wednesday, May 7, 2003 7:45 PM CDT

Hi everyone!

We love good news! Jacob is cancer free and home!

Lindsey is doing great. She is eating up a storm and her spunk is definitely back! Yeah!!! Today I filled the little baby pool and Hayden and Lindsey swam around.
They had a great time!

She is being admitted Friday and were not sure when we'll go home. She is getting a high dose of methotrexate and they have to monitor her urine until it's clear!!! But that's ok, I have faith she will do great!

Love to all.

Lisa and Lindsey

ps. there also discussing letting her do the next 3 rounds as an outpatient. We would still go to the clinic for some long days and I would give her some chemo shots at home...but we would be in our own beds! :)

Wednesday, May 7, 2003 12:28 AM CDT

Lindsey is doing well. We will be admitted of Friday to start maintenance.

Lisa and Lindsey

Tuesday, May 6, 2003 10:36 AM CDT

Hi Everyone!

Well, we've had an awesome week!!! Again we would like to thank everyone for all the love and support they've shown us. We couldn't have made it with out you!

We are still at home and Lindsey is feeling great! She has crafted up the whole house and is changing clothes about 15 times a day! She's baaaaccckk!!!! We love it!

Lindsey's test all came back clear!!!Yeah!! Dr. Owen is back and reviewing her case and if all stays the same we will be admitted on Friday to start her maintenance phase!!!!

Loren and Hayden are doing well and were glad the weather warmed back up! Loren has dance tryouts for ODC on Thursday..so keep your fingers crossed!!

Please keep Jacob in your thoughts and prayers. He's had a rough week! He's been sick but fortunately all test have come back clear!!! Let's hope he gets home soon!

Remember all of our other friends too1

For all those who have or are going to donate blood/platelets, THANK YOU! there always needed!

From Lindsey " I'm glad I got to come to the fundraiser and see you all! I had soooo much fun! I' m glad I got to see my friends and meet some new ones! Thanks for the baskets".

Love Lisa and Lindsey

Sunday, May 4, 2003 9:16 AM CDT

IN MY LIFE I HAVE MET SOME TRULY WONDERFUL PEOPLE....LAST NITE THEY WERE ALL IN ONE ROOM!!

I cannot begin to thank everyone for all the love and support that they've shown my family! I have been trying to gather my thoughts to write but there are not enough words to express how grateful we are. We are truly blessed! The best part was feeling all the love in that room! Love for Lindsey, love for my family! The last couple of days have been the best days we've had in 4 months...the best news was Lindsey's biospy was clear! Then we were able to bring Lindsey last nite! You don't know how it lightned my heart to see her with all her friends and family. To see her run around, excited, happy and a little like her old self! Her little sprig of a ponytail in her signature pink zipping by me....

Again thank you for your continued love, support and genorosity! I would love to name everyone but I won't for fear of forgetting someone...you all are truly amazing.

Thank you for loving our "Little Princess".

Love
Brian, Lisa, Loren, Lindsey and Hayden

Saturday, May 3, 2003 10:15 AM CDT

Hello everyone,

Well we had a awesome day yesterday! Although it took until about 2:00 to do Lindsey's bone marrow biospy it was well worth the wait. All prelimanary test came back clear! Yeah!
We will know the final results Monday. Lindsey is feeling really good! We will be admitted to the hospital next Friday to start her maintenance phase of chemotherapy. Dr. Owen has been out of town and will be back Monday and the plan is to discuss all her test results with the board on wednesday and just reaffirm that they will stay with the same game plan. Which is what will most likely happen. Oh, we don't have to go to clinic until next Friday, a whole week!!!!! That's the longest we've ever gone. I must admit I'm a little nervous!

A special thanks to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society, they are going to make Lindsey a patient honoree. The organization does alot of things to raise money for research and families.
They also take the time to become involved with there honorees!

Please continue to keep all of our friends your prayers. Hopefully Jacob will be home by tomorrow....Baby Jt is doing well. Joshua is doing great!

These kids ask for so little...please say a prayer that Crystal, from clinic, suffering from Hodgkins, gets to attend her high school prom. I think its ok to ask for a little something special now and again!

Lots of Love

Lisa, Lindsey, Loren, Hayden and Brian

Thursday, May 1, 2003 10:04 AM CDT

Hi Everyone,

A quick update in between test! Lindsey had her ct scan this morning and was injected with the nuclear med for her bone scan this afternoon. All in all she is feeling pretty good. She's having lots of fun playing barbies and taking walks with grammy and poppa. Tomorrow we will go in for her Bone marrow biospy. Please pray that these test all continue to come back clear!

Hayden and Loren are doing well and enjoying the visit with grammy and poppa. Luckily we have nice weather!

I will update more when we get test results.

Please continue to keep our friends in your prayers!
Jacob is physcially doing well but lost a close friend this week so please keep him in your thoughts! It is a lot for a young boy to go through.

Lots of love,
Lisa

ps. for those who wanted to donate platelets, it takes about 2 hours from start to finish, you have a really comfortable chair and tv!! :) basically you can't move so your forced to relax..!!!! I know alot of people who need to relax!
On a sad note...I went to donate yesterday and found out my veins are to small...add one more thing to the list of things I'm not in control of!!! :( Thats been this big lesson for me this week!!!

Tuesday, April 29, 2003 10:05 PM CDT

Hi to everyone,

We had clinic today and all went well. We were out by 12:30, which is good because were still quarnatined.
Lindsey's # are rising and she has gained some weight back.

I was a little confused on her next treatment but Kim took a quiet minute to sit down and figure it out for me. Lindsey's roadmap can be a little confusing! I thought we were moving to the next round but we are in between phases..which means we will be having testing this week instead of chemo. So please pray that all her tests come back clear! Once the results are in we will move on to the next round of chemo. Thanks to Kim for figuring it all out for me :)

Once again thank you to all of you who continue to pray for Lindsey and support us! We couldn't have gotten this far with out you!

Thank you to Jill and Fred for coming over and helping out this weekend!

Thank you to Sweetie......mancub loves you!!!

Thank you to all who are putting so much effort into making the fundraiser a success!

Thanks Amy for going the xtra mile.

Thanks Beth for always coming when we need ya!

To Ms Lee, Ms Helms, Ms Singer and other staff at EEDS.....I don't know where to begin....you are truly amazing.

To anyone I've forgotten...thankyou!!

Love,
Lisa and Lindsey

CANCER PATIENTS NEED PLATELETS!
AND BLOOD!

PLEASE REMEMBER TO KEEP ALL OF OUR FRIENDS IN YOUR PRAYERS!

Monday, April 28, 2003 1:16 PM CDT

Hello to everyone from HOME!

Lindsey got to come home yesterday and we have one free day then off to clinic tomorrow. Her anc has jumped to 514 and platelets are still bouncing around. If her numbers rise we'll be in at the end of the week for her next round.

All in all she's feeling pretty good. This week she's eating lots of stouffers frozen mac and cheese...for those of you who don't know, each week it changes. The first week it was chicken noodle soup.
There was the week of hot pockets, then baked potatoes, for breakfast , lunch and dinner. Then michelenas alfredo noodles. By the time I stock up on something she's over it :) So anybody want a hotpocket!

I really appreciate all the guestbook entries Lindsey has been getting. We both look forward to hearing from people we know and to the new people, who are fast becoming our email friends.

Please continue to pray that our email buddy Jacob continues to grow strong and continues to have awesome days! He also has a friend at Duke, Travis,
who needs lots of prayers!

Also be pray for my little clinic baby Joshua, he has bone scans this week and other testing to see if he's clear of neuroblastoma. His mom and I have become fast friends and help one another out at clinic.

Don't forget baby Jt. he was in for treatment, but was finally able to go home!

Also keep Courtney in your prayers. She has missed every holiday and celebration at home since xmas . She is so sweet and would like to be home for Mothers day!

Sadly the list could go on forever...

Remember if you want to do something....take a book and relax while you donate platelets...or give blood!!

Lots of love
Lisa and Lindsey

ps. A special thanks to Brian S. and Sheila. They helped me through a really rough week. To Jody the turkey club was awesome!

pps. to Chaplain Janet, Thanks for always knowing what to say and when to not say anything.....and for just always being there when we pop up...

To Megan- You rock!!!work on your Dont break the ice technique though!

Saturday, April 26, 2003 4:44 PM CDT

Hello everyone from CHKD.

Well our clinic visit turned into an overnighter. Lindsey reacted to platelets again and got a fever so with and ANC of zero and a fever bouncing around they thought it best to go ahead and admit her. We are on quarantine for the c-diff, but luckily we have a nice view of the river. It's best we were here anyway, yesterday her red blood was at 8, this morning she was down to 6, so they transfused. Now she get 3 meds before any blood products! It took awhile to get platelets last nite too, so anyone willing, go donate!

BIG NEWS....Lindsey lost her first tooth!

All in all she is doing well, hopefully well go home tomorrow!

Lots of Love,

Lisa and Lindsey

Thursday, April 24, 2003 8:49 AM CDT

It is with great sadness and a heavy heart that I write that David from clinic passed away yesterday. I ask that you all keep his family in your thoughts and prayers. He has two brothers that I'm sure are having a difficult time. I was told that it was peaceful. His family was with him and he was at home.

You know I know there is a plan for everyone and I know are children are only on loan to us, but it just doesn't seem right. These children go through so much..they have all this chemo all these procedures...fight so hard...I just don't get it!

We are thrown into this club that we didn't ask to be in and now one of our members was taken without a choice...maybe a little bit of bitterness has crept in. I don't know! I'd like to take comfort in the fact that he's no longer suffering but theres still part of me that doesn't understand why a young boy had to suffer at all.

I was also informed that another family has a teenager that was diagnosed with Burkitts, yesterday.Which is extremely weird. Karen our social worker said she is going to put me to work helping them..which i don't mind, but you know she called me a seasoned parent..how after three short months am I qualified to counsel someone about there childs cancer. But you know what sadly I am...and I know I've taken more comfort from moms in the clinic and parents on 8b, because they know exactly what your going through and dealing with.

Sorry for the rant I just had to get it out..

Lindsey is doing good. She has c-diff which is why all the diarrhea, she's on a antibiotic.

anc-o
hgb-8.5
platelets-67

If her numbers are up by tues. we will check in for her next round.

Lisa

Tuesday, April 22, 2003 2:08 PM CDT

Hi everyone!

Lindsey got to enjoy Easter at Gigi and Grandaddy's. Everyone doted on her and was so happy to see her. She was pretty good until the end when she finally just got worn out! She was also still having problems with getting sick and having the poopies. I called the Doctor and we decided it was best to bring her into clinic on Mon. rather than Tuesday. Clinic was eventful...Lindseys numbers-hgb 9, platelets 4, anc 10
So we knew she was getting platelets..first they gave her fluids because she was getting dehydrated and her weight was down to 38.5lbs. We like to stay around 40. They hung the platelets around 2 o'clock and during it was fine. As soon as they unhooked her she had a reaction. Her eye swelled up like a balloon and she starting coughing. They quickly examined her..gave her a dose of benadryl and ran and got Dr. Bevan.
He came over a checked her out. Luckily there were no breathing problems so we just had to hang out for a couple of hours for her to be monitored. She did fine the benadryl knocked her out. So now before any blood products we will do tylenol, which we've been doing plus benadryl.

Today she's doing well..the fluids seemed to help alot. We go to clinic on Wednesday and friday and will go back for the next round on or about next Tuesday.

Thank you for your continued e-mails and support

Love Lisa and Lindsey

Friday, April 18, 2003 1:32 PM CDT

Happy Good Friday to all,

Lindsey had clinic this morning.

Weight 39lbs :( (we want to stay at or above 40)
Hem 13.2 Good
Platelets 52 (tranfusion on Tuesday possibly monday)
Anc 240

The last time her platelets were 45 on a Friday by tuesdays appointment they were 2. So...we're wearing elamax on the port Tuesday if she has any bleeding or bruising we'll go in Monday. We talked to Dr Byrd about Easter Sunday, she said let her be a kid...it is a holiday and she's looking forward to it. She said Dr. Werner would've said absoulutely not..hey maybe the gcsf will kick in...hopefully it will be warm and we will spend most of our time outdoors. As far as we know no one has had any serious illnesses and Gigi is going to remind everyone not to smooch on her...I was really tempted to stay home, but we haven't let her do anything and she really enjoys the egg hunt. If on Sunday morning things change I will go from there. I have at turkey breast in the freezer on standby.

Lindsey has'nt gotten sick today..so keep your fingers crossed. She is going on zantac..she has a mouth ulcer and pink gums, so hopefully the zantac will prevent it developing into full blown mucositis..that was the worst..

Hope everyone has a nice easter.

Please keep David in your prayers. Baby Jt is going home today after about 80 days in!

Fauconis is going home, he was at Duke for about 5 months and Chkd for about 8 or 9. So pray he does well.

As far as we've read Jacob is doing well.

Happy Easter

Lisa and Lindsey

Thursday, April 17, 2003 4:28 PM CDT

Hello to everyone,

First of all a special thank you to the youth group and Pastor Guy of New Hope Church. They came over today and were brave enough to tackle some of our much needed yard work. I think they bagged about 75 or more bags of leaves...we do live on one of the most treed lots in VA Beach :) A special thanks to our neighbor Darla for helping to organize it and letting them use her house and some equipment. Lindsey and Loren really enjoyed helping them.

Lindsey is feeling ok. She did go outside some..it was kind of chilly so I made her wear a fleece and a sweatshirt. I think the youth group enjoyed seeing her.

Last nite I kinda freaked out. Lindsey got sick and there was alot of red muscous..blood red. I was so worried. I'm thinking is the mucositis back..does she have a ulcer..wheres my hospital bag..call the doctor...oh my gosh Lindsey ate about 5 cherry red twizzlers....:) I've never been so happy to have a kid eat twizzlers.

We go to clinic tomorrow. Hopefully her numbers will be up and will get to enjoy a nice Easter dinner. Loren and Hayden are doing well. Hayden is mobile now so were having a time keeping up with him. He has really enjoyed Lindsey being at home. Sometimes he looks at her and it's like he's saying
"Where have you been little blonde girl". Then he likes to chew on her skinny little legs.

To all our caringbridge friends at home and in the hospital we continually think about you and pray for you and we hope you have a wonderful holiday.

We also ask that you keep David and his family in your prayers. It is a very difficult time for them.

Love to all

Lisa, Lindsey,
Brian, Loren and Hayden

Wednesday, April 16, 2003 4:31 PM CDT

Hi

Lindsey is feeling pretty lousy. The tummyache has stayed and she's gotten sick quite a few times. Nothing to be alarmed about just side effects of the chemo. She's been trying to eat and is keeping some stuff down. She's keeping nice and hydrated though. I actually turned on the AC cause it was stuffy in the house. Hopefully that will make her feel a little better. It seems like once she gets sick she's good for a couple of hours. Hopefully by tomorrow she'll feel alot better. Hopefully some calories are taking hold..I dread weigh in at clinic...my goal is to keep her above 40lbs. If only she weren't so tall....it makes her look like a little giraffe..which happens to be her favorite animal! So she likes the comparison!

Thanks again for all the love and support

Please remember to keep our friends in your prayers.
Lisa

Tuesday, April 15, 2003 11:32 AM CDT

Hi to all!

Lindsey is not feeling to wwll today. She's gotten sick a few times and has a really bad tummy ache. She did get to read the emails though and really enjoyed them! Once again thank you for all the contimued love and support! We are looking forward to Easter..hopefully Lindsey's numbers will be good enough that we can go to dinner at Gigi and Grandaddy's. She's even said she'll wear a mask if needed.
Hey I think everyone else should wear them. Lets all decorate them. :) Instead of easter hats we'll have Easter Masks...If anyone would like to check out the family web site here is the address. hompage.mac.com/briscrye

There are lots of cute photos!

Love to all...

ps. say your prayers for all of are friends...

pps. we've mentioned our Friend Jacob..if you'd like to check out his site go to www.caringbridge.org/va/jacob

Monday, April 14, 2003 4:49 PM CDT

Hi everybody!!!

This is Lindsey! Guess what...I'm home! I'm having a good time playing with my little brother and got to go outside with Loren. I'm enjoying being at home with my family.

My numbers are looking good. I had to get some red blood cells last night. I call it go-go juice. That saved me from having to go to clinic until Friday!!!Believe it!!!

Lots of love and Kisses
xoxo
Lindsey

ps. please continue to pray for my friends! :)

Saturday, April 12, 2003 9:43 PM CDT

Hi to everyone!

Thanks for all the e-mails...keep um coming Lindsey Loves them! :). She is doing well. All the nurses are loving the spunkiness..were fortunate to have such a great Hospital and all the Hem-onc staff are awesome. Lindsey has been playing playstation and of course doing crafts..once again please say a special prayer for David. Update..your prayers helped our email friend Jacob (who has Burkitts Lymphoma)he is currently home! What great/good news!

Love and prayers,

Lisa

Friday, April 11, 2003 6:46 PM CDT

Hi everyone!

Lindsey is doing great! :). She's had the occasional stomachache and one fever (most likely the side effect of the chemo med ara-c) but besides no major things. Yeah!

She's actually been quit spunky! My o'l girl is back! The nurses can't believe it's the same girl...we who know and love her know that's her! One clinician actually told her to stop running in the hall..the nerve! Everyone else was so excited that she could! Oh well..we ran when we turned the corner :)Hopefully as Lindsey would say "were bustin out of here Monday". Love and prayers to all.

Lisa

Tuesday, April 8, 2003 10:00 AM CDT

Hi everyone, this is Lindsey,

Thanks for all the mail :) I'm feeling pretty good today. I'm having fun playing with my little brother. I would like you to all say a special prayer for David at the clinic..he's not doing so well. Say a special prayer for my new email friend Jacob, he has Burkitt's too. We are hoping he gets to go home this week. Don't forget to come visit me at the hospital this week.

love lindsey
xoxoxo

Monday, April 7, 2003 3:53 PM CDT

Hi Everyone,

Lindsey had clinic today and had a blast making crafts and flying paper airplanes. Her lab work came back good and we will be admitted to the hospital on Wednesday for the next round of chemo, it should be only 5 days again and we'll leave on the 6th day. She is in good spirits and eating well, ask Sweetie :) Continue your prayers..love to all
Lisa

Sunday, April 6, 2003 4:44 PM CDT

Hello everyone. We have created this page to keep everyone updated on Lindsey's progress. We would also like to thank everyone for all they done and the many prayers sent our way. Lindsey is responding well to treatment and we've been at home for 13 days. We have mamy clinic appointments, with some blood tranfusions and platelets, but no major things. Friday she had a fever and we went in for antibiotics but we did'nt have to stay :) We returned sat. morning for another dose...Lindsey has been enjoying being at home. Spending sunny days outside and playing with Hayden and Loren. Clinic on Monday...

Sunday, April 6, 2003 4:44 PM CDT

Hello everyone. We have created this page to keep everyone updated on Lindsey's progress. We would also like to thank everyone for all they done and the many prayers sent our way. Lindsey is responding well to treatment and we've been at home for 13 days. We have mamy clinic appointments, with some blood tranfusions and platelets, but no major things. Friday she had a fever and we went in for antibiotics but we did'nt have to stay :) We returned sat. morning for another dose...Lindsey has been enjoying being at home. Spending sunny days outside and playing with Hayden and Loren. Clinic on Monday...

Sunday, April 6, 2003 4:33 PM CDT

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