History

Journal History

Tuesday, August 12, 2008 11:05 PM CDT

UPDATE....FINALLY!
Everyone probably wonders where in the world I have been.
B-U-S-Y. The ministry has really taken off which is good in a way and sad in another. That means more children are being diagnosed with cancer and at the same time it means more people are opening their hearts to our ministry and are willing to help. Praise God for the Help!

My heart is very heavy with so many tragedies lately It seems like everytime I turn around another "angel" walks through those golden gates to their eternal home. I know how a parent feels when their child's life on earth ends and their eternal life begins. How do we go on? With God by your side daily and remaining faithful to him through all the trials, especially the most difficult one, losing a child.

PSALM 115:2 NLT
Because he bends down and listens, I will pray as long as I have breath!

Dear Heavenly Father....
Today, you mourn with us. Tragedy touches Your heart as well as ours. Thank you dear Father for caring about all the things that concern us, and for not taking our human sorrow lightly. Our family, and all the grieving families need Your comfort and strength. We know You are always near, dear Father, but yet you give us room to grieve and to heal in our own way. Show us how to comfort those around us and help us to be patient with ourselves and each other. Most importantly heavenly Father, give us peace in spite of all the unanswered questions that surround us here on this earth. Bless each and everyone facing sorrow and tragedy. I especially pray for JD Hurta-on hospice, Jana Wang-5th surgery, Tanner Jorden-in treatment, and Tyrick Bonner's family (drowning). Amen.

For those who may have followed our journey on Capitol Hill...the advocates for CureSearch have succeeded in the Conquer Childhood Cancer Act of 2008 actually become law. You can read about it by clicking here: BILL BECOME LAW! PRAISE GOD! This is historic.

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Sunday, May 11, 2008 11:21 AM CDT

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!
Mother's how wonderful they are.

This is awesome....
A baby asked God, 'They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow, but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?' God said, 'Your angel will be waiting for you and will take care of you.'

The child further inquired, 'But tell me, here in heaven I don't have to do anything but sing and smile to be happy.' God said, 'Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you. And you will feel your angel's love and be very happy.'

Again the child asked, 'And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me if I don't know the language?' God said, 'Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak.'

'And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?' God said, 'Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray.'

'Who will protect me?' God said, 'Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its life.'

'But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore.' God said, 'Your angel will always talk to you about Me and will teach you the way to come back to Me, even though I will always be next to you.'

At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from Earth could be heard and the child hurriedly asked, 'God, if I am to leave now, please tell me my angel's name.'

God said, 'You will simply call her, 'Mom.'

Today as I share Mother's Day with my son, Andrew, I thank God for the honor of being his mother. What a wonderful fine, young man he has turned into. Thank God for the blessings he has bestowed in my life. The greatest gift to me is being a mother.

They say as you grow older you appreciate your parents more....that is so true. My mother and me are very close and I am so glad she is still able to be on this earth to share things with. Yesterday, Tim, Andrew, me and of course my mom spent the day together. We have done this for years, but of course Adam was always physically with us, now in spirit. We made a short shopping trip to Houston and then to my dear Hawaiian friend, Jane and her daughter, Jana, who is going through cancer. We surprised Jane with a huge bouquet of flowers and Jana a trinket box of flowers. The joy in her heart brought her to tears. I was so honored to be able to share such a special time with them. I love them and admire the strength Jane has in watching her daughter endure this battle with cancer on a daily basis, by herself, far, far from home and her other two children. We then went to a Chinese Restaurant for dinner...thinking we were going to treat them to dinner. We were at a total disadvantage, with the Chinese language, being spoken back and forth. Needless to say we did not get the opportunity to pick up the tab....chinese secrets won. What a wonderful time we had, laughing and sharing moments of our children, and especially ones about Adam.

Today if also five years that my dad past away. Mother's Day is always very difficult for me but with God's by my side I perservere...

Bless all mothers and have a wonderful day. If you do not have the fortune of still having your mother alive, tell another mother how special they are.

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Saturday, April 12, 2008 11:36 PM CDT

UPDATE....
I know it has been a really long time since I have updated Adam's site. Praise God for the sense of peace I have finally reached. I am off the "roller coaster" ride and just seem to be on a smooth, straight ride. This doesn't mean I don't think about him everyday, becaue I do, but I can smile and not cry every time. God allows us to heal slowly and I firmly believe it is for the best. In losing a child you need to experience the lows as well as the highs. I know it has made me a stronger person.

Tuesday, April 8th would have been Adam's 10th birthday. This is the first year I did not post his picture and a write-up in our local paper. This is also the first year I did not put ballons on this grave. I was there and sang "Happy Birthday", put some of this favorites out, but just decided the rest was not necessary. I did what I know he would want me to do....spend the day with another child (actually young lady). I took a beautiful, young lady shopping for her Senior Prom Dress. I know Adam was smiling down from above the entire time saying "oh, momma, that girl is gorgeous". His sweet spirit will always be alive and live in my heart. The material things do not matter. It has taken me five years, but I am there....PRAISE GOD!

Prayers to all the children suffering from cancer....I pray for healing.

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Friday, January 18, 2008 4:36 PM CST

ADAM CHRISTIAN CULLIVER
5 YR. ANNIVERSARY WITH YOUR “SWEET JESUS”
APRIL 8, 1998 – JANUARY 20, 2003

Someday life will make sense
When God makes all things clear,
And we will see HIS purpose
For pain, heartbreak and fear.

Someday when Love unfolds
Answers that had to wait,
We’ll praise God who called us
To walk with childlike faith.

Five years ago today, Little Precious, you left your earthly home to live forever
in the arms of your “Sweet Jesus”.
We yearn to touch you, hold you, and kiss your loving face.
Our family chain is broken and your sweet, smiling face is missed.
However, we know that smile is even brighter in heaven
because of the seed you planted on earth.
You see, the ministry created to keep your memory and love
for others alive is abundantly growing.

***************
Monday and Tuesday of this week Tim and I flew into Washington D.C. for our CureSearch Team Leader Training and Advocary Workshop. We made about 4 visits to our U.S. Representatives discussing our asks for the upcoming fiscal year 2009. We opted not to go to Senator Hutchison's office this time, since our success has not been very well. Two doctors from the Dallas area went on that visit. Perhaps they can approach them from a medical angle and have more success.
**************
Tomorrow we will drive to Houston to pickup a 14 yr. old young lady with cancer, along with her mother, to stay the weekend with us. They are from Hawaii and have been at the Ronald McDonald House since September 11. We adopted them for Christmas and have just really been touched by them. They have asked to spend some time with us and to attend our church. The young lady will be undergoing a really tough surgery on the 31st of January. Please be in prayer for her.

I ask myself...Lord did you arrange this weekend for a reason...why this one...the 5 yr. anniversary date of Adam earning his Angel Wings. In response...I know the Lord wants me to feel close to Adam and what better way than to be with a young lady and mother who needs some emotional support at this time. I believe too, they will be supporting me as well.

PROMISES FOR PARENTS:
There is in all this world
no fount of deep, strong, deathless love,
save that within a mother's heart.
--Felicia Hemans--

God Bless!
Angel Adam's Mom

Tuesday, January 1, 2008 11:33 AM CST

HAVE A BLESSED NEW YEAR!

Wow...the year 2007 really did fly by. I have to say over all our year was blessed as far as our family goes and the ministry as well. People continue to be generous and open to giving when asked to help childhood cancer families. God has been good to us.

In the year 2008 we have decided as a family to focus more on the ministry. We have come to the realization that we can never raise enough funds for research. These monies have to comes from our federal government so we will continue to work with CureSearch, the national organization with that issue. Our fund raising will be focused on the Adam's Angels. The fruit is much greater when dealing with individual families. We can help lighten their load a little financially and emotionally.

Over the Christmas holidays we probably met with around 12 families, sharing the gift of giving, and just spending time with their family. When you are going through childhood cancer one needs support....EMOTIONAL. We came in contact with so many wonderful families that we consider them our new-found friends. We want to be here for them. Support is so important when one is going through a tough time in life. Our family was blessed, and continue to be, by having the support of wonderful friends, church family, and Sunday School Class. They are our lifeline and we want to be able to give back. Sometimes the requests we get are far greater than we can accomplish, but we try our best and pray to God that if we cannot provide, that he can place someone in their path who can. Thus far, God has been good, as he always is.

Adam's death and his legacy is so eveident now. From the time he was able to talk he always shared about Jesus and helping others. In his 4 years on earth he spread that message and planted that seed. It took his death for us to understand what we were to do with his message. Little precious, we now understand and will work hard to continue with the message you left when you left your earthly home. We are spreading that seed by fulfilling your wishes to help others in the time of need through your ministry. Thank you dear son for allowing us to be your parents on this earth and giving us the opportunity to carry out your wishes on earth while you sit beside your "Sweet Jesus".

Our plan is to form some committees with the ministry in order to focus more on visiting with families. Our busy months are September, November, and December. The committees will assist in planning our fundraiser/style show. There are so many generous people willing to give but we just do not have enough time to prepare and reach those people. This will help spread the word and bring more people in to the event.

May the New Year bring you happiness and restore the health to those in need! God Bless.

Proverbs 11:24-25 NKJV
There is one who scatters, yet increases more;
and there is one who withholds more than is right,
but it leads to poverty.
The generous soul will be made rich,
and he who waters will also be watered himself.

Angel Adam's Mom

Thursday, November 29, 2007 11:22 PM CST

NO, I DID NOT FALL OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH!

I have sort of taken a break from this site. A new website has been set up by our dear friends, Brandon & Kristy Musser, that will just focus on the ministry and ways people can contribute. Please visit:
ADAM'S ANGELS MINISTRY NEW WEBSITE
It is pretty simple right now but we will work on it more after the first of the year. This is our busy time of the year getting ready to adopt childhood cancer families for Christmas. The ministry is also hosting a party for the children at the Children's Cancer Center of M D Anderson next month so we are busy planning.

God has been so good and faithful to us. The 3rd annual fundraiser for Adam's Angels was held last month. It was a luncheon and style show with around 100 women. We raised $10,000 and will continue to receive donations. We have been so blessed by our community, church, and friends who stand behind us 100elping us bring the "Blessing of Christmas" to families.

PROMISES TO PARENTS:
For the Lord is always good.
He is always loving and kind,
and his faithfulness goes on and on
to each succeeding generation.
--Psalm 100:5 TLB--

May each of you be blessed just as our family has been.

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Thursday, November 29, 2007 11:22 PM CST

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 29,2007

TE!
PROMISES FOR PARENTS
And ye shall rejoice before the Lord you God,
Ye and your sons and your daughters.
--Deuteronomy 12:12--

Today, I know the heavens are rejoicing. Adam is high in the heavens
singing at the top of his lungs, “I CAN ONLY IMAGINE”. I say this
today because Tim and I had the opportunity to go before our church family,
both services, and share how God has used Adam’s death for his glory.
We shared our ministry in each service and thanked our wonderful church
family for all their prayer and support over these past four years.
Thank you to the Hurta Family and Marshall/Williams Family
for giving their testimony and journey through childhood cancer.
Our ministry has received the blessing by being able
to pray for and help ease their financial burden. We thank these families
for allowing God to work through all of us.

Tena Brom….thank you so very much for your beautiful voice and talent.
I know Adam was rejoicing when you sang his song “I Can Only Imagine”.
I wonder who was singing louder, you or him.
I know God has placed you in our lives for a reason. Your voice
and Adam’s love for music…God has a plan.

HOMEFRONT
School….wow, in full force. Andrew loves high school, of course football!
Not doing so well on the wins there, but learning a lot. I think getting
back into a routine and schedule has put a sense of calming and peace
back in our household. Praise God! The dress boutique I worked
for decided to close at the end of May, but praise God for a telephone
call from another wonderful lady I have known for awhile,
offering me the same wonderful work schedule I had at
the other job. That does not happen very often. She understands
my devotion to my son and family and passion in our
childhood cancer advocacy work/ministry. God blessed me with another
year yesterday…that’s right I turned 48. That 50 is right around the corner
and I’m not sure I am going to like saying I am “50” and will be
able to receive some “let’s just say SPECIAL BENEFITS”.
God is Good!

ADAM’S ANGELS MINISTRY
Focusing on the “September Childhood Cancer Awareness Month”.
Our church has several things going…donations, hat drive,
book fair. Wow, we have a wonderful church family. Thank You again.

As you go about your week, stop and think about a child that you
might know that has cancer…do something for them this month. Perhaps you
do not know a child suffering from cancer, praise God for that. But, just pause
for a moment and say a prayer for all the 12,500 children that have been or will be
diagnosed with cancer this year.

God Bless You.
Always,
Angel Adam’s Mom

Friday, July 27, 2007 11:19 AM CDT

PROMISES FOR PARENTS
The trouble with being a parent is that by the time
your experienced, you’re unemployable.
--H. Lees—

CURESEARCH UPDATE
Wow…I have been delinquent in updating. Time has just flown by.
Things went really well in D.C. We have a total of 117 members in the
House and 30 in the Senate signed on as co-sponsors
of the Conquer Childhood Cancer Act nation wide.
Once again, our hero Congressman Michael McCaul supports our efforts
100.what a huge blessing he is to our organization. This year we are
also very proud to say that Senator John Cornyn has signed on to the bill.
We had a wonderful visit with his staff and later our entire group
met the Senator on the capitol steps for a brief meeting, photo opportunity,
and personal conversation with him.
Thank you Senator Cornyn…you have our support in your re-election campaign.

We have not been as fortunate with Senator Hutchison thus far.
We did have an opportunity to meet with her Health Legislative Assistant
for a lengthy time at which time a pretty intense, debated conversation
took place. Senator Hutchison does not seem to take the time to
personally meet with us…even in the 5 yrs. we have been advocating
on Capitol Hill. We always seem to have an opportunity for a picture…
which we do not need…we need support and a signature. It is not about
us getting our picture with her, it is about obtaining her support for
the bill that is designed to help children dieing with cancer.

Sometimes you feel as if you are banging your head against the wall with
this issue. You want to just throw in the towel…but then we see another
child die from cancer and our fight becomes just that much stronger.
I have to say our skin has gotten thick since we first began our
advocacy work. We now speak what is on our minds when meeting with
our leaders on Capitol Hill. After all they are working for us…each and very
one of us. So, if you are reading this, you too can help by writing your
congressional leaders and asking them to support this bill….
CONQUER CHILDHOOD CANCER ACT
H.R. 1553 in the House and S.911 in the Senate.

HOMEFRONT NEWS
Summer is flying by. Andrew has been running cross-country track some,
working out at the high school field house lifting weights, and really
trying hard to stay in shape. Football practice begins August 6 which is
around the corner. I pray to God for no injuries. As for me, I stay busy taxing
him from one place to the next. Tim….busy with work.
My mother used to say …”the older you get the faster time flies.” So true.

ADAM’S ANGELS NEWS
This ministry has really ignited. Praise God! We have lots of
people wanting to be involved in helping or being a part of helping
organize things. In fact, we are probably going to establish leaders who
can assist in heading things up for us, with scheduled meetings. The hospitals
and social works know who we are and have called on the ministry
for assistance with family needs several times. We are presently working to
help a family in Fayette County who has a 14 yr. old daughter who is
battling bone cancer. They are in desperate need of financial help in order
to pay medical bills and keep their home from being taken away. If you feel lead
to make a donation to this particular cause, please feel free to email us at
adamsangelsministr@sbcglobal.net . Please remember we have to
be confidential regarding details about the family.

In closing I would just like to ask that you keep all children suffering from
cancer in your prayers. These children are warriors’ everyday. God Bless the
heroes who have conquered this disease and the angels who
are now pain-free in their heavenly home.
Remember it is now about us….it is about the children!
SEPTEMBER IS CHILDHOOD CANCER AWARENESS MONTH!

Angels Adam’s Mom

Thursday, June 21, 2007 0:02 AM CDT

PROMISES FOR PARENTS (a little light-hearted)
Childhood is...
that wonderful time of life when all you
need to do to lose weight is to bathe.
--Kim McGinnis--

CHILDHOOD CANCER UPDATE
Tim, me, Andrew and his friend, Henry will be leaving for Washington D.C. early this morning. Once again we will advocate on “Capitol Hill” for more funding for childhood cancer. Please keep our safety in your prayers and also that the hearts of all our congressional leaders will be touched by the stories told by children with cancer and their families.

Remember Tuesday, June 26….we will be on “CAPITOL HILL” for a big rally at 5:00 pm D.C. time (4:00 pm our time)…there may be some news coverage. That day has also been declared NATIONAL DAY OF AWARENESS....REACH THE DAY Conquer Childhood Cancer….so stop during the day and pray for all the children effected by cancer and those who have earned their “angel wings”. If you know of a child suffering from cancer, give them a call, send a card or just do something to honor a child with cancer that day.

Texas...we are proud to announce that our Senator John Cornyn will be cosponsoring S.911 CONQUER CHILDHOOD CANCER ACT OF 2007...still working on Senator Hutchison.

WE ARE PUTTING ON OUR ARMOUR....READY TO CONQUER MORE FUNDING FOR CHILDREN SUFFERING FROM CANCER. Join in the fight...sign on to www.curesearch. org and see what you can do to help or click on the icon above and write a letter to your congressional leaders and be a fighter without having to leave your house.

God Bless!
Angel Adam's Mom

Monday, June 11, 2007 11:52 PM CDT

SUMMER IS OFFICIALLY HERE IN TEXAS....HOT, HOT!

HOMEFRONT NEWS:
Andrew has been enjoying being home this summer, sleeping late, lifting weights, running, swimming, and getting together with friends. He has been doing odds and ends and mowing yards for a little income. He has truly turned into a great young man, handsome too. Proud mother!

CHILDHOOD CANCER NEWS:
Morgan Gardner, a friend of Adam's, hosted an Alex's Lemonade Stand this past Saturday, in memory of Adam. Bless you and thank you Morgan for your servant's heart. Her sister Emma also helped her. Praise God for the beautiful weather. Morgan's Goal is $2,000. Help her reach her goal by giving an on-line donation which will be accepted until September 9, 2007...click on the link above.
Children helping children.....how wonderful!
I know Adam was smiling down from heaven and was proud of her work for children with cancer.

We have been working hard this past week on contacting our congressional leaders for their support on the Conquer Childhood Cancer Act of 2007. Sometimes you feel like you are crawling at a snail's pace. When it comes to adult cancer everything falls into place and passes rather quickly. Children...it takes forever. Keep the funding for childhood cancer research in your prayers.

God Bless and I pray everyone has a blessed week.

Angel Adam's Mom

Monday, May 28, 2007 11:59 PM CDT

SCHOOL IS OFFICIALLY OUT FOR ANDREW!
Although he has been out since last week Tuesday, Friday was the official day in Brenham. Now I have to try and keep a teenager busy...taxi cab is the name of the game.
Believe you me I am not complaining. I am so happy that I have him and his load of friends to cart around and the opportunity to be able to stay home and play taxi cab. I love this job! That is a huge blessing. What I would give to be taking Adam and his friends from one event to the next.

ETERNITY...
Ever think about it?
I have been thinking about it a lot this past three days.
JOB 19:27 (NIV)
"I MYSELF WILL SEE HIM...HOW MY HEART YEARNS WITHIN ME!"

Lately I find myself thinking much more about heaven because Adam is there, because I find myself longing to see him. This reminds me of Job.

Before Adam's death, I never really understood why people found such comfort in knowing their loved one is in heaven, but now I do. Losing Adam has made heaven become more of a reality. This brings me to Job...during Jobs suffering, desire was not just for the suffering to end but for eternity in the presence of God to begin.

I have come to this place where I believe a yearning for heaven is one of the purposes and privileges of suffering and losing someone you love. I think of heaven as a piece of me is already there. This life is just a glimpse of our real life--of an eternal life with God.

Our human flesh seems to think this life on earth is all there is and we definitely live it that way sometime. God wants us to alter this perspective. God wants us to live with an "eteranl perspective", knowing the life on this earth is a temporary dwelling. Well, if we truly believe that true life, joy, and freedom from pain is found in an eternal life with God, then why do we cling to our earthly life with such desperation?

I would have loved to see Adam grow up...see if he looked like me...acted like me...and would have stayed my shadow. But, I also know that the earthly life he would have lived would have been filled with pain, and I do not believe it is a tradegy that Adam was given the opportunity to be spared from this eveil and pain of this life and instead given a healthly, happy, eternal life in the presence of his "Sweet Jesus".

This scripture helps me validate what I believe.
ISAIAH 57:1-2
The righteous pass away; the godly often die before their time. And no one seems to care or wonder why. No one seems to understand that God is protecting them from the evil to come. For the godly who die will rest in peace.

So, you see Adam leaving this life so early was not a tradegy. There was nothing to fear. The tradegy would be a life that ends without the hope of an eternal life with his "Sweet Jesus". God offers us a relationship with his son, it is a free gift that if a person rejects it, then that is a tragedy.

I believe and count on my hope and faith that one day I will be with Adam again. This helps me in how I live today and how I grieve today. What a joy it will be the day I can wrap my arms around my "little precious" in the presence of our Heavenly Father.

Taken from my reading of HOLDING ON TO HOPE by Nancy Guthrie.

God Bless You All!
Always,

Angel Adam's Mom

Wednesday, May 16, 2007 9:12 PM CDT

BLESS YOU CARINGBRIDGE FAMILIES!

Today as I read my Promises for Parents....
EVEN A CHILD IS KNOWN BY HIS DOINGS,
WHETHER HIS WORK BE PURE,
AND WHETHER IT BE RIGHT.
--Proverbs 20:11 KJV--

I so love this because it fits my little "Angel Adam". In fact, this Bible verse is on the back of Adam's monument. It is one of the first Bible verses he quoted...all the time I might add. Maybe he was trying to prepare me in his own special way. God Bless My Little Precious!

ADAM'S ANGELS MINISTRY
Please keep a little boy in our town by the name of Jabrion in your prayers. He has a brain tumor and recenlty underwent the proton therapy. Now, after a follow up they see something on the spine. His mother said he has been walking a little sluggish. His mother is an awesome Christian lady with strength a mile long. Adam's Angels has played an active part in their lives and will continue to do so. They are scheduled to go to Washington D.C. with us and I pray he will still be able to make the trip. He is really looking forward to it.

HOMEFRONT
School is almost out. Andrew only has about 2 1/2 days left with his 8th grade recoginition program on Friday. He is exempt from all finals except one...IPC which is a high school course (98 avg. I might add), and it is mandatory to take the final. He will also be attending the 8th grade dance on Friday....and has his "first date" as you would call it. They are really close friends and have been in school together forever. He says mom....we are just friends...praise God. I am not ready to let the reins go, loosen them a little maybe. Tim and I will also be chaperoning the dance (which he is not pleased about), oh well.

I pray that everyone have a wonderful upcoming weekend and God Bless!.
Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Saturday, April 28, 2007 9:50 PM CDT

SEARCH MY HEART OH GOD by Kay Arthur....
Today's Appointment with God says:

So, often, after telling others about some positive event in their lives, Christians will say, "The Lord has been so good to us."

That is ture, but when I hear an expression like this, I wonder, Would they still consider God good if something bad happened instead?

So often we associate the goodness of God only with His blessing. However, to do so is to be ignorant of the purpose of the trials--the difficulties, hardships, and testings--that suddenly invade our lives. We see trials as robbers, bent on stealing our joy or our sense of God's blessing and goodness.

How earthbound we are? How temporal our perspective!

The Word of God says, "Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endureance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing" (James 1:2-4).

Are you prepared to praise God for His gifts, even when they take the form of trials?

*****
Prayer....
Dear Heavenly Father,
Help me to adopt Your perspective about the problems in my life. Your Word clearly says that You are soverign and that You have a purpose in permitting these trials. I choose to believe that and I rest in You. Amen.

God Bless You All!
Angel Adam's Mom

Friday, April 20, 2007 6:25 PM CDT

My heart aches everytime I hear news where a child has been killed. This week my heart is so extra heavy with all the news coverage of the Virginia Tech shooting. I can only imagine the fear and grief that the parents of those 32 children are going through. Having lost a child , I can relate on such a personal level. The loss of a child is so deep no matter how old they are. I have such a hard time understanding how a person can possess such evil. Please keep all these families in your prayers. Lord, wrap your arms around these parents and calm all their fears as their children are now safely wrapped in the arms of their heavenly Father.

I have been working on changing Adam's website a little. Wow, it takes concentration, which I do not seem to have much of anymore. Little by little!

Last week I went to another child's funeral who became an angel of God's as his battle with cancer came to an end. Kyle is free from pain. Prayers go out to his family. Within the last month and a half, I went to three children's funerals...two from cancer and one an accident. It always seems to happen in three's. I pray to God this is all for the time being. I would love to say forever, but we all know that is not so.

Keep praying and once again I encourage you to click on the link above and write your congressional leaders in D.C. for more funding toward childhood cancer.
HELP US REACH THE DAY!

God Bless.
Angel Adam's Mom

Friday, April 13, 2007 0:28 AM CDT

On Good Friday, in memory of Adam's 9th birthday, we delivered 20 Easter Baskets to Children's Cancer Hospital of M D Anderson for all the children stuck in the hospital on Easter. We filled each goody basket with a chocolate bunny, a large M&M filled egg, Gummi Bunnies, and Gift Cards to McDonld's, Chick-fil-A, and Blue Bell Ice Cream. A large bag of stuffed Easter Animals were also left to hand out to the children, along with other items to be given out when the nurses deem appropriate. We also left a large number of parking passes for the social workers to hand out to the parents to cover their parking expenses.

EASTER SUNDAY, ADAM'S WOULD BE 9TH BIRTHDAY, came and went. Another hard milestone to overcome. Adam has now spent more birthdays in heaven than on earth. I made it through, despite the dreadful, dreary weather that day. The Easter Sunday Service was beautiful and I remained focused on our heavenly Father and Adam sharing time together. This made me actually smile.

CHILDHOOD CANCER NEWS:
Below I have posted what Congressman McCaul recently presented to the United Nations in regard to childhood cancer.

MCCAUL TAKES CHILDHOOD CANCER TO
CAMPAIGN TO U.N.
Austin congressman says governments should do more
to combat the disease.
By David Ho
NEW YORK BUREAU
Friday, April 06, 2007

UNITED NATIONS — Cancer in children is a growing global health threat, and the U.S. Congress and governments around world should do more to combat it, Austin Rep. Michael McCaul told a United Nations conference on cancer Thursday.

"Cancer kills every day and won't wait while the world looks for ways to kill it," said McCaul, a Republican who last month helped reintroduce legislation seeking $100 million for childhood cancer research.

McCaul spoke on the third and final day of the conference, which was intended to spread awareness of a worldwide increase in cancer and to help nations prevent, detect and treat the disease.

Diagnosed cancer cases are expected to more than double between 2000 and 2030, said Peter Boyle, director of the World Health Organization's International Agency for Research on Cancer. Speaking at the United Nations on Tuesday, Boyle said the reasons include growing populations, people living longer and an increase in smoking alongside inadequate health care in poor nations.

McCaul described a personal connection to his cause: His best friend in grade school in Texas died of leukemia, and McCaul's father also died of cancer.

But it was the sudden death in 2003 of 4-year-old Adam Culliver of Brenham from a rare form of leukemia that prompted McCaul's push for legislation, he said.

"Cancer kills more children than any other disease in the United States," McCaul said. "No parent should ever have to bury a child as a result of this disease, and no one, especially a child, should ever have to suffer as Adam and so many countless others have."

The House did not consider the legislation McCaul backs in Congress' last session. He said this time bipartisan support is growing for the bill, which would fund research, medical training, education for parents and a childhood cancer database for five years.

McCaul said Congress also should address barriers in cancer research such as federal rules that prevent successful drugs approved for adults from being used in children at lower doses.

After McCaul spoke, Liz and Jay Scott, directors of the Alex's Lemonade Stand Foundation for childhood cancer, told about 30 participants about their daughter, Alexandra, who fought cancer most of her life before dying at age 8 in 2004. Their daughter started earning money to find a cure when she was 4 with her own lemonade stand. Since then, the foundation has raised more than $10 million.

Alex underwent an array of treatments, including stem cell therapy.

McCaul, who has opposed federal funding for embryonic stem cell research, said that position does not conflict with his push for cancer treatments.

"There are new procedures and technologies that are going to be available like amniotic stem cells," he said after his remarks. "We'll be able to get that type of stem cell line without destroying human life, and that would take the debate out of politics."

dho@coxnews.com

Wow, it makes me proud to know that Adam's story, name, and death may one day make a difference in the funding for childhood cancer.

Have a wonderful weekend and bless everyone.

Angel Adam's Mom

Friday, March 30, 2007 9:14 AM CDT

PROMISES FOR PARENTS
Children have neither past nor future;
they enjoy the present, which very few of us do.
--Jean De La Bruyere--

How true is the above statement. Adults seem to always get caught up in what took place yesterday and what will happen in a week from now. Maybe we should all take a lesson from the minds of our babes, TREASURE THE MOMENT. We never know when it can be our last, old or young, age is no factor.

We are approaching Adam's ninth birthday. This is so very hard to believe. He has now spent more birthdays with his heavenly Father than his earthly family. For us that is hard and at the same time...exciting and glorious. How we wish we could spent that many years with our heavely Father. Basking in the glory of God everyday. Learning everything from the "ultimate one". No unanswered questions, no pain, no desires...everything fulfilled and every need and concern met. What glory!

I would like to share this with you. Taken from the book "Praying God's Promises in Tough Times".

THE PROMISE...GOD TAKES CARE OF TOMORROW
Your heavenly Father already knows all your needs, and he will give you all you need from day to day if you live for him and make the Kingdom of God your primary concern. So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries.
--Matthew 6:32-34--

Here's an interesting excercise: On a blank sheet of paper, draw three circles; one to represent how you view your past, one to illustrate your life right now, and one to symbolize how you see your future.

If you're like a lot of people, your "past" and "future" circles will be larger than your "present" circle. Why? Because we trend to agonize over our past and/or obsess about our future. Between regret, guilt, and shame over what has been and fear and worry about what might be, we don't have time or energy left to enjoy what is.

Christ calls us to a new mind-set: forgetting the past (Philippians 3:13) and entrusting tomorrow to the One who holds the future. When God gave his people manna in the desert (Exodus 16), they were not to try to stockpile this heavenly bread. They were not to worry about the next day's food, only enjoy today's supply.

Jesus wants you to live in the "NOW." And why not? Today is all you have. Trust your faithful Father with your uncertain tomorrow.

PRAYING THIS PRAYER
Lord, you know all my needs and promise to meet them. I am comforted by the truth that you know every detail of my current condition. Nothing cathes you off guard...ever. Thank you for being so good. I experience your promise of daily provision as I make your kingdom my top concern. Help me to seek you first, to trust your promise, to live in the "now," and to stop worrying about tomorrow. Amen

God Bless You All.
Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Sunday, March 18, 2007 3:25 AM CDT

I hope everyone had a pleasant Spring Break. We had a bit of a rain, to say the least, this week in Brenham and surrounding area. Tim and Andrew had some father/son time while going to New Mexico (Taos) for a little snow skiing. They had a wonderful time and a safe one at that. Me...I just chilled, recouperated from being sick, and did a little closet spring cleaning. What a job!

Adam's tombstone has finally been erected, with a slight problem, which is to be corrected. I must say it is absolutely beautiful. A real tribute to him.

UPDATE IN CHILDHOOD CANCER ACT
This week, America took an important step towards ending childhood cancer. Our Congressman, Michael McCaul, co-introduced legislation which will provide money for finding a cure for this disease, which kills more children than any other. Also this week, the House passed legislation which helps improve openness and transparency in our government.
PRAISE GOD!

ABOUT THE CONQUER CHILDHOOD CANCER ACT OF 2007?

Conquer Childhood Cancer Act of 2007

WHY:

Until the day comes when every child can live a life free of cancer, we must continue to strengthen our investment in childhood cancer research, diagnosis, treatment, and awareness. Childhood cancer is the leading cause of death by disease in children.

Each year, over 12,000 children are diagnosed with cancer and more than 2,000 of these young lives are lost. Our legislation will give a voice to the thousands of children and families in the United States who have been touched by childhood cancer and will give the thousands of physicians, nurses and scientists the tools they need to find a cure for this terrible disease.

THE LEGISLATION:

Centers of Excellence for Childhood Cancer Research: This legislation enhances and expands biomedical research programs in childhood cancer through an existing National Cancer Institute-designated multi-center national infrastructure.

Childhood Cancer Clinical Research Fellowship Program: The Conquering Childhood Cancer Act establishes a new fellowship program through the National Institutes of Health to help foster the training and development of a new generation of clinical investigators focused on pediatric cancer research.

National Childhood Cancer Research Database: It will establish a population-based childhood cancer database to evaluate the incidence trends of childhood cancers and to enable the investigations of genetic epidemiology in order to identify causes to aid in development and implementation of prevention and treatment strategies.

Outreach and Education for Pediatric Cancer Patients and Families: In addition, the legislation provides for education and information services to patients and families affected by childhood cancer to ensure they are aware of and have access to appropriate clinical treatment as well as the array of needed support services.

Authorization of Appropriations: $20 million annually for 5-fiscal year period.

WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR INTRODUCING ACT?
Congresswoman Deborah Pryce (R-Ohio)
Congessman Chris Van Hollen (D-Maryland)
Congressman Michael McCaul (R-Texas)
Congressman Joe Sestak (D-Pennsylvania)

WHO HAS SIGNED AS OF MARCH 15, 2007?

Rep Boucher, Rick [VA-9] - 3/15/2007
Rep Castle, Michael N. [DE] - 3/15/2007
Rep Chandler, Ben [KY-6] - 3/15/2007
Rep Culberson, John Abney [TX-7] - 3/15/2007
Rep Dreier, David [CA-26] - 3/15/2007
Rep Engel, Eliot L. [NY-17] - 3/15/2007
Rep Ferguson, Mike [NJ-7] - 3/15/2007
Rep Forbes, J. Randy [VA-4] - 3/15/2007
Rep Graves, Sam [MO-6] - 3/15/2007
Rep Green, Al [TX-9] - 3/15/2007
Rep Grijalva, Raul M. [AZ-7] - 3/15/2007
Rep Hastings, Alcee L. [FL-23] - 3/15/2007
Rep Higgins, Brian [NY-27] - 3/15/2007
Rep Kildee, Dale E. [MI-5] - 3/15/2007
Rep Larsen, Rick [WA-2] - 3/15/2007
Rep McCaul, Michael T. [TX-10] - 3/15/2007
Rep Mica, John L. [FL-7] - 3/15/2007
Rep Moran, James P. [VA-8] - 3/15/2007
Rep Musgrave, Marilyn N. [CO-4] - 3/15/2007
Rep Platts, Todd Russell [PA-19] - 3/15/2007
Rep Reichert, David G. [WA-8] - 3/15/2007
Rep Reyes, Silvestre [TX-16] - 3/15/2007
Rep Ruppersberger, C. A. Dutch [MD-2] - 3/15/2007
Rep Schiff, Adam B. [CA-29] - 3/15/2007
Rep Sessions, Pete [TX-32] - 3/15/2007
Rep Sestak, Joe [PA-7] - 3/15/2007
Rep Shuster, Bill [PA-9] - 3/15/2007
Rep Van Hollen, Chris [MD-8] - 3/15/2007
Rep Yarmuth, John A. [KY-3] - 3/15/2007

This is H.R. 1553.

This is a brpartisan issue regarding pediatric cancer and it is a no-brainer as to signing on to this resolution. If you do not see your representative's name above, click on the icon at the beginning of Adam's site about writing your Congresstional Leaders, and complete the very easy form for your district asking his or her support in this very important issue in the life of a child with cancer.

Thank you for staying with me during this long posting. As you know, this issue is very dear to our hearts. We will continue to fight hard on "the Hill" to make Congress recognize the importance for more funding for childhood cancer. We are fighting for every child out their who is presently experiencing this demon or may in the future. Our child has no fight...he's an angel of God's.

Have a wonderful upcoming week and please take time out of your schedule to make a difference (by clicking the icon above) in the life of a child wiht cancer. God Bless You All!

Angel Adam's Mom

Tuesday, February 20, 2007 9:39 PM CST

Wow, it has been a long time since I updated Adam's site. The year just seems to be moving right along.

PROMISES FOR PARENTS
It is a wise father that knows his own child.
--Wm. Shakespeare--

HOMEFRONT NEWS
Very busy! Andrew keeps us really busy with school homework, projects, and activities. He just recently participated in the History Fair and placed second in his division which in turn sent him to the regional level this past week. His group received an honorable mention at the regional fair. He also had Science Fair where he placed first in his division of Behavorial & Social Sciences. Tomorrow he leaves for Austin where he will participate in the regionals among 500 participants. They will be staying overnight and returning around midnight Thursday. We are not able to go on this tip which I know is good for him, but keeps me anxious. We are so proud of his efforts no matter where he finishes.

CHILDHOOD CANCER NEWS
Recently there has been lots in the news regarding childhood cancer. Dr. Gregory Reamon with COG / CureSearch was on the national news reporting on the lack of funding for children. Also, there was an article regarding our trip to D.C. in our local newspaper. In additional Congressman McCaul ran an article in eight national newspapers and all the newspapers in this district regarding the graphic details leading up to Adam's quick death. He has decided, with our permission, we need to let everyone know just how quickly this can hit a family. He wants to grab the attention of lawmakers and the general public. It was very hard to actually read about the circumstances leading up to Adam's diagnosis and rapid death. That part never seems to be any easier. Perhaps this will put more focus on the issue and gain the interst of the public which will lead more people to contact their lawmakers regarding funding. God Bless him...he is a "CHAMPION FOR CHILDHOOD CANCER". He will be leading the efforts in reintroducing our bill again this year. We must get it passed.

On Thursday, we will be joining the Congressman on a trip throgh the pediatric cancer lab and Children's Cancer Hospital of MD Anderson in Houston, Texas. We have been through the labs before, but Congressman McCaul has requested the trip to become familar with where we lack in research and funding. Going through these labs are very interesting, but difficult. You actually see tumors that have been removed from children and are being studied in clinical trials. Ih our previous visit, we had the opportunity to meet the research doctor who is working on a drug for AML (what Adam died of). Sadly enough, he can't go any further due to the lack of funding to continue in the research of this drug. The drug has not even been named at this point.

The 9 yr. old we have been helping through Adam's Angels Ministry has completed his proton therapy. It did not totally zap the brain tumor, but it did not grow either. He has returned home and will go back in a month for MRI's and scans. Keep him in your prayers. The other family we stay in contact with did not receive good news. Their daughter's cancer has spread and there is not much else they can do. The father told us they are basically telling him his daughter is going to die. He says he refuses to believe it and cannot accept it. God please be with this family.

As always, keep all the families suffering with childhood cancer in your daily prayers. Pray to God for healing. Have a blessed week.

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Friday, January 19, 2007 9:46 AM CST

THANK YOU FOR YOUR PRAYERS WHILE AWAY IN WASHINGTON D.C.
We were able to fly out of Houston before the sleet came, arrived in
D.C. and the weather was actually in the 40’s. The next day it
was cold (27 degrees) but it was beautiful and sunny.
We are fortunate enough this year to have an additional
Texas Team Leader who is a God-send. Thank you David
for jumping on board the fight for children with cancer. He comes as a father of
a 6 yr. old fighting cancer, in addition to being a pediatric orthopedic surgeon.

As Texas Leaders we made12 congressional visits between the hours of
10:00 am and 4:00 pm, not even 15 minutes in between to gulp
down a bite. We finished at 4:30 pm, jumped on the subway for the
airport to catch our 5:30 pm flight. Talk about cutting it close, we did.
We were so exhausted….yesterday was a day of rest for me. We had some
awesome visits with our leaders and are excited about the
Conquer Childhood Cancer Act being reintroduced this year. I feel
God in this one, I have faith it will pass this year.
Congressman Michael McCaul, once again has thrown his full support
behind our cause. His Press Secretary called yesterday and they
will be running a story on Adam’s death nationally. There have been
previous stories run, but never giving the graphic details of his death.
I know this may be what it takes to get everyone’s attention, especially
On Capitol Hill.
I always say, Adam would want people to know in hopes that this story saves
other children fighting this battle.
Sometimes as sad as it is, this is what it actually takes.

Today, four yrs. ago, we had to make the toughest decision
we have ever had to make in our lives….removing life support.
I remember finally changing my prayers to God. I kept asking that
Adam be kept alive no matter what the condition was. How selfish.
Tim and I went to the chapel and finally turned it over to
God completely…we asked THAT GOD’S WILL BE DONE.
We knew it was not our decision, it was HIS. We asked for a sign from
above that Adam was not suffering and at peace. We prayed that he
would look physically more himself, not so swollen. We received that
sign when we returned to his room and saw the swelling
in this little feet and head had gone down. You could finally
see the artery in his neck. This is when we knew GOD was
totally in control and that Adam was already at peace, spiritually
with his heavenly Father. What was lying in that bed was
simply a shell, his soul was living on forever with his “Sweet Jesus”
in his eternal life.

Today when I flip my calendar to my PROMISES FOR PARENTS
I once again get that confirmation from 4 yrs. ago.
PROMISES FOR PARENTS SAYS:
BUT NOW THE LORD WHO CREATED YOU SAYS…
I HAVE CALLED YOU BY NAME;
YOU ARE MINE.
--Isaiah 43:1 TLB—

My answer was in that scripture that day!

Dear Adam,
Tomorrow Adam, at 11:01 am, you were actually removed from life support. In reality, that machine never mattered, it was only a material thing. Your "Sweet Jesus" was your life support the minute you slipped into that coma. He took over and you never felt any pain or suffering. Now, you have spend 4 glorious yrs. with your “Sweet Jesus”.
I know you are proud to be beside your heavenly Father and
proud to know that your ministry, through wonderful, caring,loving people, are helping other children with this disease. We love you son and your little smile will always beembedded in our hearts and minds. We miss you everyday but know you are in awesome hands while we are away. Until our family is reunited in heaven we will yearn for your touch.

Always,
Mom, Dad, Andrew

Monday, January 15, 2007 9:48 PM CST

WOW! Texas is experiencing an icy, winter blast, even here in Brenhan. Cold, cold, cold, with school even being cancelled. Unfortunately, Tim and I will be flying to Washington D.C. tomorrow (maybe) for a Team Leadership meeting with CureSearch and meetings on Capitol Hill. It will be a fast and furious trip. Pray for our safety with the weather conditions being the way they are.

Tomorrow is the 4 yr. mark when Adam was actully rushed to the hospital after waking from his nap complaining he could not see...then 4 hrs. later placed on life support and declared brain dead. Sometimes it feels like yesterday. What I would do to hold that little fella in my arms and give him big kisses. We all miss him dearly but know that his memory lives on forever through his ministry of helping childhood cancer patients and their families. He has the best life....ETERNAL LIFE WITH "HIS SWEET JESUS".

His tombstone finally arrived, but now it cannot be set due to the weather. We are very pleased with it. When I first saw it I started crying, then as I looked at the back side of it, I was actually able to smile and let out a small laugh. We had his actual signature placed in the stone, just the silly old way he wrote it. It is definitely him. When you see the back of it you know it is a child's marker. We also had the Bible verse he quoted all the time placed on the stone...
EVEN A CHILD IS KNOWN BY HIS DOINGS...PROVERBS 20:11
I know when it is set I will be at peace. It has taken us all a long time to get to this point, but I am so glad we waited until we all three were on the same page. God bless my "little precious"...never to be forgotten.

Stay warm, healthly, and safe! God Bless You.

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Tuesday, January 9, 2007 10:13 AM CST

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!
May God bring you much happiness and many blessings in this upcoming year. I did not update sooner because Christmas is very busy for the ministry. We were able to bring Christmas to 12 families through Adam's Angels Ministry. What a huge blessing for us to share with other families experiencing "childhood cancer".

PROMISES FOR PARENTS:
CHILDREN ARE GOD'S APOSTLES SENT FORTH,
DAY BY DAY, TO PREACH OF LOVE, HOPE AND PEACE.
--James R. Lowell--

Wow, that is so true. Adam was our apostle and now he can experience the preaching first hand from the lap of his "Sweet Jesus". "Little Precious", your mission continues on through your ministry. We love you and miss you.

We will be traveling to Washington D.C. next week for a Team Leader Workshop and then meeting with our Congressman, etc. Pray for positive results and our safety.

God Bless! Always,

Angel Adam's Mom

Monday, December 11, 2006 10:30 PM CST

PROMISES FOR PARENTS:
This is beautiful....
God first made man, than found a better way for woman.
But His third way was the best.
Of all created things,
the loveliest and most divine are children.
--W. Canton--

ADAM'S ANGELS MINISTRY NEWS:
Busy, busy. God is good! We have had five families some forth and adopt families experiencing childhood cancer on their own this Christmas. What does this mean? It means these families will be assigned a family to adopt for Christmas on their own. They will purchase gifts from their "wish list" from their own funds (not Adam's Angels); then they will contact the family directly and meet with them and share the blessing of Christmas and giving. It will then be up to that family if they want to stay and touch and help further.

This is a huge blessing to our ministry. It will allow us to adopt more families with the funding raised. At the present time we have asked for 10 families total from a hospital in Houston and Austin. We have not been assigned all of them as of yet, so we will be busy the last week of Christmas purchasing gifts and delivering and meeting families. The blessing is ours.

We also invited a single mother and son to our Sunday School this past Sunday to speak about her journey with childhood cancer. What a strong and powerful message she delivered about the "hope" in the Lord that she has that her son will be healed. It just so happened that our class was about "HOPE"...all God's planning. She moved our class to tears. Her son has a brain tumor and is about to undergo the new Proton Therapy at Children's Cancer Center at M D Anderson. She is planning on staying for 5 weeks since it will be an everyday treatment. This will entail additional expenses beyond her everyday expenses incurred at her home. Once again, our class prayed about this and God moved the hearts of a couple. At the end of the class, they came forth and shared with her that they wanted to pick up her living expenses for the 5 weeks in Houston. Praise God! We have such a wonderful class who represent what true Christians are all about. They feel blessed so they want to share their blessings with someone in need.

HOMEFRONT NEWS:
Andrew has been a little under the weather, like everyone, Tim busy working, and me, recovering well. Still not released from the doctor...return on the 22nd.

Life seems to be dealing lots of families we know well some pretty hard blows lately. Since the day after Thanksgiving, we have been to 7 funerals. Two of Andrew's classmates lost parents less than a week apart and now this week we have had two more families with young children lose a parent. All sudden deaths and not car accidents. The big WHY question has really been going through everyone's mind. Also, Tim's aunt just died. Everytime I pick up the telephone lately it is to be informed of another death. We never know when God is ready to call us home. Always tell your loved ones you love them and never part with words of anger. We need to live everyday as if it could be our last...loving one another and the Lord.

In closing, God bless everyone this blessed season. Remember the reason for this season...the birth of our Savior! Don't get so busy and caught up in gifts and lights that we forget to give him praise. God be with all the suffering families...may you feel HIS love and peace over the next few weeks.

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Wednesday, November 29, 2006 11:11 PM CST

PROMISES FOR PARENTS
For the Lord is always good.
He is always loving and kind,
and his faithfulness goes on and on
to each succeeding generation.
--Psalm 100:5 TLB--

HOMEFRONT NEWS
Beginning to motive around a little better after my recent surgery. I find that I tire out really fast. It has been hard for me to take-it-easy. I go back to the doctor next week and we will see what he says.

Andrew and Tim had a great time spending Thanksgiving in Mississippi. Andrew went hunting every morning...and loved it. I enjoyed my quiet time at home. Mom and I spend Thanksgiving and part of the weekend together.

ADAM'S ANGELS MINISTRY
We are working with the hospitals on adopting families for Christmas. We were told by one hospital that there are at least 20 that need help this Christmas. That breaks my heart to know there are so many families going through tough times. I pray every night for those families who are struggling both emotionally and physically due to CHILDHOOD CANCER. WHAT A DEMON!

I hope everyone has a great weekend. I understand we are in store for some pretty cold, cold weather, even here in Texas. God Bless You All!

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Sunday, November 19, 2006 12:52 AM CST

PROMISES FOR PARENTS
May God who gives patience, steadiness, and encouragement
help you to live in complete harmoney with each other.
--Romans 15:5 TLB--

ADAMS'S ANGELS 2ND ANNUAL GIFT GIVING AND STYLE SHOW
What a success...what a blessing. The bed and breakfast where it was held was absolutely beautiful. Everything was set up outside with white table cloths, gazebo, and festive fall flowers. Beautiful, peaceful, and sirene setting overlooking a long drive that led up to the home. A huge pond, horses grazing, green hills and a total sense of calmness. It was a beautiful day, not to hot, but quite breezy I might add. The wind kept blowing things over, but we managed. The style show was beautiful as the models walked down the stone pathway through the gazabo and into the crowd seated at the round tables. The food was delicious and everyone seemed really pleased with the event. A special thanks to Lillian Farms, Mickey Johnson, Ashley Swope, Four Friends, Tres' Chic, and Spoiled for putting the event together. We netted $5,000 from the event after costs. I must add that I am still receiving donations so to give a total would be incorrect at this point. Also we do not know what was generated from the style show itself. Overall, very successful. Our ministry will be able to provide families with a wonderful Christmas.

More blessings...we have had three families contact us about wanting to adopt a family for Christmas through our ministry. This means they want to provide a Christmas for the families which will not come directly out of the ministry. Our ministry has really taken off and we are so blessed to be able to provide for childhood cancer families who are in need with the help of generous donations and families adoptings families.
GOD IS GOOD!

HOMEFRONT NEWS
HAPPY 14TH BIRTHDAY TO ANDREW TODAY!
Wow, it does not seem like he is that age already. I can remember bringing him home from the hospital. Tiny, tiny and very fragile looking. You would never believe it now...5'10", 155 lbs. of steel! What a blessing and wonderful son. He has such a loving, passive, and forgiving nature. I have been blessed when it comes to my children.

I am recovering from a small surgery that I had on Wednesday. Nothing major, but I will be out of pocket for about a month and not working so I will focus on the ministry. My friends have been taking wonderful care of my family by providing meals once again. God I have such a wonderful group of friends...always there, even when you tell them not to be. God has blessed me in so very many ways.

Tim and Andrew will be traveling to Mississippi for Thanksgiving to his mother's, but I will be staying here because I cannot travel that far yet. Pray for their safety and the safety of all those on the highway during the Thanksgiving holiday. I will spend time with my mom. This will be her first Thanksgiving without her sister, who passed away in Febrary. They were very, very close. They spoke on the phone or saw each other every day. They worked together for years. What a wonderful relationship for sisters to have. So, this will be a tough time for her.

Please keep all the children suffering from "childhood cancer" in your prayers this Thanksgiving season. Let them have valuable, quality time with their families and help them to enjoy the moments they have together as pain-free as possible. God Bless You All.

Angel Adam's Mom

Wednesday, November 8, 2006 10:25 PM CST

PROMISES FOR PARENTS:
Now, my son, may the Lord be with you...
May the Lord give you wisdom and understanding
so you will be able to obey the teachings
of the Lord your God.
--1 Chronicles 22:11,12 NCV--

ELECTION DAY IS OVER!
CONGRESSMAN MICHAEL MCCAUL, DISTRICT 10, TEXAS,
WAS RE-ELECTED TO THE HOUSE.
PRAISE GOD!
I do not know what we would have done had he not won. That would have meant us starting all over with our efforts to have bills and resolutions introduced in the House. We had the honor of being a guest at Congressman McCaul's victory party in Austin last night, which also included attending the Governor's victory party. We have really become very fond of the Congressman. What an awesome person and voice we have representing us in Washington, D.C.

HOMEFRONT NEW:
Football is officially over for Andrew. He is sad...he really loved it. They only won 3 games, but he learned a lot and that is the important thing at this age.

ADAMS ANGELS MINISTRY:
The 2nd Annual Adam's Angels Gift Giving & Style Show is tomorrow. I am excited. We have around 80 people planning to attend, double from last year. We have already received some generous donations. Praise God. This ministry will be able to bring "Christmas" to some families and help with other expenses. We have also had some families contact us that are interested in joining in with us and adopting a family for Christmas. This is truly a blessing for us. Sometimes when you think the door is being shut, God opens the window. I know God is truly blessing our ministry, Adam's ministry, that he started and left with us to carry on. Thank you "little precious" for opening our eyes into helping others.

Everyone have a wonderful rest of the week. God Bless You.

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Friday, November 3, 2006 8:22 AM CST

PROMISES FOR PARENTS:
You have chosen to bless my family.
Let it continue before you always.
Lord, you have blessed my family,
so it will always be blessed.
--I Chronicles 17:27 NCV--

MINISTRY NEWS:
Gettting ready for the fundraiser on Thursday. We have already had some generous donations. Praise God for loving hearts and generosity. We are so blessed to have some wonderful people willing to host events in order to bring joy and blessings to childhood cancer families during the Christmas season.

2nd ANNUAL ADAM’S ANGELS MINISTRY
GIFT GIVING AND STYLE SHOW
Thursday, November 9th

Lillian Farms
12570 FM 1155 E * Washington, TX * 77880

11:30 to 1:30 $35 per person
Includes style show, lunch with dessert, and a tour

Toys and monetary donations will be accepted. Adam’s Angels Ministry will use these gifts to bring joy to children diagnosed with cancer and their families
during the holidays.

This event benefits Adam’s Angels Ministry!

Style Show by Four Friends, Tres Chic, and Spoiled.
Portion of ticket price will be donated to the Ministry.

For Information Call:
Ashley Swope
936-878-2615
Mickey Johnson
979-251-1878

ELECTION....TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 7, 2006
ATTENTION TEXAS DISTRICT 10 VOTERS:
Vote to re-elect CONGRESSMAN MICHAEL MCCAUL!

God Bless You all. I have a speical request. A young man in Brenham, who is battling cancer is trying to reach 20,000 guests in his guestbook. He finds the messages left very uplifting. Take an opportunity to stop by and leave JD a message.
Click here to visit JD's site. J D HURTA

Angel Adam's Mom

Friday, October 27, 2006 0:28 AM CDT

THE BLESSING OF THE LORD MAKES RICH,
AND HE ADDS NO SORROW WITH IT.
--Proverbs 10:22 (ESV)

HOMEFRONT NEWS:
Life is busy as always, which is good and bad. Good...that it keeps my mind busy and not feeling down and out. Bad...that it becomes so busy that we forget to slow down "and smell the roses" as they say. My Adam would not like that at all.

Thank you to my classmate, Paula, who emailed me with some wonderful words of wisdom after my last update. I so needed to hear your advice. We never see each other and live in the same town, but I do want to say "thank you" for checking Adam's site and the encouragement. God Bless You.

MINISTRY NEWS:
Below you will notice the announcement of an upcoming event benefiting Adam's Angels Ministry. We are so blessed to have some wonderful people willing to host events in order to bring joy and blessings to childhood cancer families during the Christmas season.

2nd ANNUAL ADAM’S ANGELS MINISTRY
GIFT GIVING AND STYLE SHOW
Thursday, November 9th

Lillian Farms
12570 FM 1155 E * Washington, TX * 77880

11:30 to 1:30 $35 per person
Includes style show, lunch with dessert, and a tour

Toys and monetary donations will be accepted. Adam’s Angels Ministry will use these gifts to bring joy to children diagnosed with cancer and their families
during the holidays.

This event benefits Adam’s Angels Ministry!

Style Show by Four Friends, Tres Chic, and Spoiled.
Portion of ticket price will be donated to the Ministry.

For Information Call:
Ashley Swope
936-878-2615
Mickey Johnson
979-251-1878

ELECTION NEWS:
I encourage everyone to go out and vote. If you live in Texas, District 10, I ask for your support in re-electing CONGRESSMAN MICHAEL MCCAUL. He has been a champion for our childhood cancer families. He introduced the Conquer Childhood Cancer Act of 2006. THANK YOU MICHAEL!

Have a blessed weekend.
Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Monday, October 16, 2006 6:20 PM CDT

PROMISES FOR PARENTS
Good people who live honest lives
will be a blessing to their children.
--Proverbs 20:7 NCV

A wonderful verse that I remind myself of daily.

HOMEFRONT
All is well in the Culliver household. Busy, busy as usual. Andrew is doing well in school, made distinguished honor roll. He finally got his cast off of his finger and wrist. Now, he is ready to get back into FOOTBALL ACTION. Tuesday, will be his first time to even play this year. He had been pretty bummed about that, but now ready to go and prove himself.

Tim is extremely busy at work and I have been busy around the house doing lots of cleaning and repainting. It's always nice to give things a new look. We have redone Andrew's room, at his request. He is pleased with his new look.

I actually felt guilty a couple of days ago. I missed two days in a row of going to the cemetery, when I was in town. At the time I was so busy on Andrew's room, that I ran out of daylight. I never do that and really do not know why I feel it is so important to go there everyday, but I do. When I mentioned it to one of my friends, she reminded me that it was OK to not go there. Adam is not there. I guess I have the fear of forgetting, which I know in my heart is not any way possible. So why does it bother me when I don't go and was at home in town and able to make it? If anyone knows that answer, please shed the light on me.

ADAM'S ANGELS MINISTRY
The month was great for the ministry. Our church "spotlighted" the ministry the entire month. Monetary donations were received which is always a blessing to be able to help families. God bless our donors.

On November 9th, two ladies are holding the following for the ministry.

2nd ANNUAL ADAM’S ANGELS
GIFT GIVING AND STYLE SHOW
Thursday, November 9th

Lillian Farms
12570 FM 1155 E * Washington, TX * 77880

11:30 to 1:30 $35 per person
Includes style show, lunch with dessert, and a tour

Toys and monetary donations will be accepted. Adam’s Angels Ministry will use these gifts to bring joy to children diagnosed with cancer and their families
during the holidays.

This event benefits Adam’s Angels Ministry!

Portion of ticket price donated to the Ministry
Style Show by Four Friends, Tres Chic, and Spoiled

For Information Call:
Ashley Swope 936-878-2615
Mickey Johnson 979-251-1878

WHAT A BLESSING!

May God Bless each and everyone of you and keep you safe always.

Angel Adam's Mom

Tuesday, October 3, 2006 8:46 PM CDT

September has come and gone. Thank you CaringBridge Friends & Family for all the prayers this month for the PRAYWARENESS CAMPAIGN.

Sometimes when you feel tired and weary and think you just need to take a step back, that's when God knocks on your door the hardest and does not allow you to give up or back off.

This past week in Sunday school, one of our football coaches shared an "on-field" story about a 16 yr. old with cancer. Brenham was playing the team a couple of weeks ago when a father approached our coach and asked for the team to go easy on the player because he has cancer. His wish was to play in one more football game...and he did. Our coach was really moved by this father's request. Tim has since been in touch with the boy and his father...please keep this in your prayers.

Secondly, tonight our family met a single mother from Brenham who has a 9 yr. old son with a brain tumor. He was diagnosed in January of this year and has had three surgeries. This mother is so very strong to endure what she does by herself. In addition, she is an only child. We had the pleasure of taking her and her son to dinner this evening and getting to know them. We were so blessed by their presence and her strength. Together we shared the fact that she is not an only child...we are all "brothers and sisters" through Christ, and that we are here for each other.

OK...God I hear you telling me you are always here and will never leave me or forsake me. I know these two things were brought to the forefront this past week for a reason. Lord, I will honor the ask! God has truly blessed me and is always there to reassure me that what we are doing is "good and right". Even through I grow tired and weary, you will always be my strength.

Thank you God for being my ALL.

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Monday, September 11, 2006 10:46 PM CDT

This week as I struggle once again with Adam's death I remind myself to have FAITH...God has a plan through his death. I just have to continue having FAITH. I remind myself of this verse:

ROMANS 10:17
Consequently, FAITH comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of CHRIST!

Sunday I had a very difficult time with the sermon in church. It was from JOHN 4:43-54 "The Progression of Faith". I began to fall to pieces as Brother Steve continued. As he talked about the royal officers son approaching death and the life being drained from the child's cheeks, all I could picture was Adam lying there in that bed, lifeless. Totally depending on a machine. As the sermon proceeded, I wondered why God did not allow the miracle of healing our son as he did the son of the royal officer in these verses. I know God's ultimate plan is the very best for Adam; however, that does not ease the fact that I do not have him. Sometimes I find myself struggling with the word FAITH. I do have FAITH and am a Christian, but it is still very difficult at times. I finally had to go forward and pray with Brother Steve and leave the service. Do I really have the FAITH I need?

When I left I went to "Adam's Garden" at the school side of the church and just sat on his bench and cried. When I finally stopped long enough to wipe my eyes, right there in his flower bed was a "Green Happy Face". You see the happy faces were REWARDS and something he looked forward to receiving in his Pre-K class. On the 15th of January, the day before he went into the coma, he pulled out all his "Green Happy Faces" and said "Mom, always remember, I'm a Happy, Happy Boy". I will never forget those words. As I sat there looking down at the ground, this BIG SMILE came across my face. My "little precious" was right there by my side at that very moment letting me know he was happy and wanted me to be happy. FAITH immediately became very clear.

Three steps in faith becoming a saving faith:
1. The SPARK of faith. (vv. 46-48)
2. The STEP of faith. (vv. 49-50)
3. The SIGN of faith. (vv. 51-54)

ANDREW NEWS:
Guess what we have....a buckle fracture in the left wrist and a chipped bone on the middle finger of the right hand. Yes....football, the first and second week. He did not even get to play his first game. Out for six weeks, pretty bummed about it, but said...Mom that's football, it's expected. Yes, I know, but that doesn't mean we always have to experience it. My child...had to have something since he is due to get his braces off on the 18th of this month. We have to be seeing a doctor for some type of bo-bo. God Bless my son....I love him so!

SEPTEMBR IS....CHILDHOOD CANCER AWARENESS MONTH!

PRAYWARENESS CAMPAIGN
This month please be in prayer for the following:
Week 1 – September 1 – 9
Pray for CHILDREN with cancer.
Week 2 – September 10 – 16
Pray for PARENTS & FAMILIES impacted by childhood cancer.
Week 3 – September 17 – 23
Pray for CAREGIVERS, including doctors, nurses,
allied heath workers, and support staff.
Week 4 – September 24 – 30
Pray for RESEARCHERS developing cures for childhood cancer.

I challenge each and everyone of you CaringBridge Friends and Family to make time for the above prayer requests. Have a wonderful week.

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Thursday, August 31, 2006 11:44 PM CDT

PROMISES FOR PARENTS
I find joy in receiving my children in prayer
as gifts from God. As I do it almost daily,
I find that it enhances my appreciation of them
and my relationship with them.
--Jack Taylor--

SEPTEMBR IS....CHILDHOOD CANCER AWARENESS MONTH!

PRAYWARENESS CAMPAIGN
This month please be in prayer for the following:
Week 1 – September 1 – 9
Pray for CHILDREN with cancer.
Week 2 – September 10 – 16
Pray for PARENTS & FAMILIES impacted by childhood cancer.
Week 3 – September 17 – 23
Pray for CAREGIVERS, including doctors, nurses,
allied heath workers, and support staff.
Week 4 – September 24 – 30
Pray for RESEARCHERS developing cures for childhood cancer.

I challenge each and everyone of you CaringBridge Friends and Family to make time for the above prayer requests. I close with this Bible verse.

I JOHN 5:14-15, NKJV
Now this is the confidence that we have in Him,
that if we ask anything according to His will,
He hears us. And if we know that He hears us,
whatever we ask, we know that we have the
petitions that we have asked of Him.

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Thursday, August 24, 2006 10:20 PM CDT

Wow...what a long time since an update! The days just seem to get away from one during the summer months. For most it is a slow time, but for us it is fast. We do most of our traveling and fundraiser preparation during these months.

PROMISES FOR PARENTS:
He has put his angels in charge of you
to watch over you wherever you go.
--Psalm 91:ll NCV--

I know my little precious angel is always watching out for us on this earth.

CURESEARCH NEWS
The 2nd Annual Brenham Dolphins Swim Team, City of Brenham, and Washington County Swim-a-thon/Walk-a-thon fundraiser benefiting CureSearch was held on August 15, 2006. This was a very busy time for us. We are so very proud of our local community, local officials, fire department, police officers, sheriff's department, and EMS. They truly lended their support on this particular evening to help raise funds for childhood cancer. Our Mayor Milton Tate and State Representative Lois Kolkhorst kicked off the swimming event by swimming the first lap together. Absolutely awesome! Our County Judge, along with all the above departments kicked off the walk. Boy was it hot!

Bill Walker with Children's Cancer Hospital at M D Anderson spoke and was available to answer any questions. The event was truly about KIDS HELPING KIDS. The children swam and walked their little hearts out. Approximately $20,000 was raised in sponsorships and pledges. We are so blessed to live in a community that understands what Tim and I are doing to bring the issue of childhood cancer to the fore front. Futhermore, to have their support and love. Thank you Brenham, Texas....Washington County.

HOMEFRONT NEWS
School has begun. Andrew is in 8th grade and wasn't too sure about getting back into the homework ordeal, but seems to be doing great with it. He has all accelerated classes, plus 2 high school courses this year which will require a lot of work at home. Football practice is in full swing. They practice from 2:30 - 5:30 pm everyday. It is so very hot and just like any mother you worry whether they are getting enough to drink in the heat. We have a wonderful group of coaches and I know they look out for the welfare of the children. Our first football game will be September 5th.

I will get back into my 2 day a week routine on Monday. I am ready! We just got back from market in Dallas, which is always exciting.

This week Adam has been in my every thought. I guess with school starting it reminds me of how excited he always was about going to First Baptist Church School. He would be going into the 3rd grade which is so hard to believe. Pretty soon we will have been without his little heavenly body longer than we had his earthly body. Time goes by so fast. Does it get easier? Yes and No. Not as piercing, but the pain of not being able to touch, feel, or smell him is always there. Then, sometimes you find yourself thinking what did he smell like, or feel like, or like, or dislike. I hate when I start to wonder. But, as time moves on these things are not so vivid. At times like these, this is when I truly know that my hope and faith in God above is what gets me to tomorrow. I know my heavenly Father has Adam on his lap and he is safe. Sometimes I imagine the day that I will be reunited with him. Wow, how awesome will that be. What will be his reaction when he sees me? I know that is when we will never be separated from each other again.
--PHILIPPIANS 3:20 NKJV SAYS
FOR OUR CITIZENSHIP IS IN HEAVEN,
FROM WHICH WE ALSO EAGERLY WAIT FOR
THE SAVIOR, THE LORD JESUS CHRIST.

Thanks for dropping in and may God be with you as you put a close to your week. Bless You All Always!

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Sunday, July 30, 2006 10:39 PM CDT

PROMISES FOR PARENTS:
Discipline doesn’t break a child’s spirit
Half as often as the lack of it
breaks a parent’s heart.
--Anonymous—

UPDATE:
Last update I left off with a 26 sleep-over in the airport in Washington, D.C. Yes, quite the adventure, a first, and hopefully a last. Yes, we were caught in the floods that hit the D.C. area as we were waiting for our flight home. By 10:45 that night they said no more flights would be leaving D.C. Well, we had friends in a condo in Alexandria, Virginia…no problem. We called, they said “come on”. So, here we go with our pile of luggage (we had enough of it too). I have learned to pack “LIGHTER” from now on. We run like nuts to the metro before it shuts down at 11 pm. Lo and behold if we don’t get there and they say CLOSED, due to the high waters.A portion of it was under water. They send us around the other side of the airport for the taxis. Well, we needed a taxi from Alexandria to come and get us, so we call, we wait, and we wait, and wait. Finally, after becoming a little irritated we ask where they are and they inform us they cannot get there. Next, they say they are sending buses after us go back down the escalators and wait. Here we go again! Get there and wait. Someone else comes and says to go back up the escalators to the opposite side of the airport. Here we crazy fools go again. By this time it is all I can do to walk, must less pull all the luggage I brought… (fool). About 3/4ths of the way, Andrew and I just cannot make it anymore. We both say forget it, we’ll just spend the night in the airport. We go back down the escalators to where by this time they are passing out blankets for the night, or shall I say early morning by now. We find us a corner with three chairs, and thus our sleep-over begins. It’s a good thing, because the buses could not get out either.

Early that morning, 5:00 am I tell Tim we had better get through security because all the new arrivals were coming in and all the SLUMBER PARTY GUESTs had to get through security also. What a mess! It took forever. Did I fail to mention we did not have supper, nor were our sleepover accommodations anywhere near any “real food.” All that was left were bagels. Beggars can’t be picky. The mood that morning was not very pleasant for any of us. We very patiently stood in the line at the Continental Desk to get on the “stand-by” list. Which by the way ended up being a joke. People who missed their early morning flight due to the weather were put on the next flight while we sat and waited on standby. After finally being overlooked about 4 flights, there was a group of us, who we did not know each other before our sleepover, finally made ourselves known. Guess what, it was a real shame, but it took us getting forceful before we all just so happen to get on a flight at 2 pm that afternoon. Once on the flight, we were called back to the runway three times. We all then knew if the third time wasn’t the charm, we were going to become very, very close for a while. Finally, we hear “the plane is cleared for take-off”. Everyone clapped and cheered. What an adventure after 26 hrs.

I must say, we did have the opportunity to meet some neat people! We know that God allowed us out of Houston before the floods took place in Texas on the beginning of our trip. He allowed us to accomplish our work on Capitol Hill, and then the floods came in D.C., once our work on "the Hill" was completed. God took care of us and our mission all the way. I had faith in him. One thing I do want to share….while we were sitting on the runway and they said they were holding the plane for mechanical and radio control reasons, the three of us looked at each other and said, “Adam, we may be coming to see you real soon”. We were all at peace if this was God’s time to take us to our eternal home in heaven.

Ok, I have rattled on enough. Everything else is going well. I will update on the progress of the Conquer Childhood Cancer Act of 2006 later. We have made lots of contacts to Congressmen’s offices and staff. We are also very busy preparing for the Swimathon/Walkathon benefiting CureSearch on August 15. Visit the link above to find out more about this event.

God bless all of you.

Always,
Angel Adam’s Mom

Monday, July 17, 2006 11:05 PM CDT

UPDATE....FINALLY!

PROMIES FOR PARENTS:
It is important to give our children two things--
the first is roots; the other, wings.
--Anonymous--

CURESEARCH NEWS:
A month since my last update. Wow, we have been very, very busy.
WASHINGTON D.C. TRIP - Absolutely wonderful! Praise God for all the advocates we had this year from the great State of Texas. We were very proud as Team Leaders to have such great representatiion. The only state to have more was Virginia. Which we will let them get ahead of us since they are a hop-skip-and-jump away. Look out next year Viriginia. Thank you Texas adovocates. Congressman McCaul was very surprised and pleased with our group. Those attending were: Tim, Donna, Andrew Culliver; Paul & Tyler Culliver; Vanessa & Jared Culliver – representing Mississippi also; Terri, Kendall, Trevor Smith; Virginia Roberts; Bill Walker; Monica Cerda-Juarez; Anna Smith;(Bill, Monica & Anna all from Children's Cancer Hospital of MD Anderson, Houston, Texas); John, Monica, Brady, Kelly, Sara, Tara Kubena; (Our deserving "Extreme Homemake-over" family); Fred, Karen, Zachary, Danielle Dahmann; Victoria & Erin Buenger).

Congressman McCaul...wow, what a champion supporter. Tim and I had the honor of introducing him and saying a few words about him. We had a banner made that had the State of Texas with three childhood cancer comic pictures. The banner read "CONQUER CHILDHOOD CANCER ACT OF 2006" with the above in the center, then PUTTING CHILDREN WITH CANCER 1ST IN TEXAS, and finally HOME OF CONGRESSMAN MICHAEL MCCAUL. Oh, I fogot to mention it stated from Washington County, Texas to Washington D.C. All 26 of us went on stage and had the two Kubena twins, who both have leukemia, unroll it and present it to him. He was very, very moved. Everyone took their seat except Bill Walker, Anna and Monica from MD Anderson, at which time they made a presentation to the Congressman. He was presented a baseball bat which was signed by all the childhood cancer patients at the clinic/hosptial the weeks before. Sadly stating, this was some of the children's last signature as they have now become an angel. This was so very touching. I do not think there was a dry eye in the room.

Now, to say the least, the Congressman took the stage and began to speak. So I thought he was. He looked right at me, which I was seated directly in front of him, and said he had a presentation to make to me. I began to shake all over, my knees were weak when I tried to move them, tears began to flow as these words came from his mouth....
he said "I know Adam celebrated his 8th birthday in heaven on April 8, therefore I wanted to do something special in his memory." When he said that I lost my composure completely. Tim and I both went up to the stage at which time the Congressman presented me with a 5'x8' United States Flag that he had flown over the United States Capitol on Adam's birthday. He also presented us with a framed plaque that stated this being in Adam's memory. I was totally speechless. I could not utter a word. All I could do was hug him and cry. What an honor to be given this flag. Adam was smiling down and saying "it's ok mommy". My little Adam has touched so many in ways that we will not ever know about. His death might be for this very reason....to fight for other children and more funding. Everyday, I tell myself that Adam is the reason for my will to continue fighting. He would not want children to suffer the way they are to this demon called CANCER.

Ok, so the rest of the D.C. trip was great. Tim and I were not so rushed as the past 2 years. We had help and it was so wonderful and so appreciated. I know our Texas group made an impression on the visits on "the hill". We also wore T-shirts that had the same imprint as the banner. The House Resolution 323 came before the House Floor the day we were on the hill. The Congressman called us to be there on the floor, but we had just missed it. Trying to get from the Senate building to the House building, and through security in a short time was difficult. However, the resolution passed. Below is the information:

H.RES.323
Title: Supporting efforts to increase childhood cancer awareness, treatment, and research.
Sponsor: Rep Pryce, Deborah [OH-15] (introduced 6/15/2005) Cosponsors (109)
Related Bills: S.RES.182
MAJOR ACTIONS:
6/15/2005 Introduced/originated in House
6/22/2006 Passed/agreed to in House: On motion to suspend the rules and agree to the resolution, as amended Agreed to by the Yeas and Nays: (2/3 required): 393 - 0

So, the resolution passed in the House. Now, it has to go to the Senate, which we pray passes. Sadly enough, neither of our Texas Senators have even signed on to the resolution after all our efforts. This resolution does not even ask for funding, simply awareness. If the Senate does not pass the resolution, then our efforts for the bill, which does allocate for $100 million ($20 million for the next 5 yrs.)will probably not ever get anywhere. Sometimes the battle seems so tough. But, perserverance...that's what it takes. Together we can make a difference. If you are reading this, go to the flag icon at the top of Adam's site and click on it to write your Congressmen and Senators. This issue needs your help.

On Wednesday, our CureSearch group also participated in a rally on the steps of the Capitol at 11:00 am. The rally was in suppport of childhood cancer and to help kick-off the PBS Documentary titled "A Lion in the House". It is a true story of five children and their families struggles and battles with childhood cancer.
Click here to find out more:
A LION IN THE HOUSE
We were unable to watch it since we were in D.C. I understand it was pretty powerful. Some friends taped it for us but we we have to find a good time to watch it. Tim and I were also asked by Congresswoman Deborah Pryce of Ohio, and her constituent, Beth Westbrook, to speak on the Capitol steps along with Congressman McCaul, Congresswoman Pryce, doctors from the hospital featured in the film, and PBS spokespeople. We were only asked the night before, and my first reaction was "no", what could I possibly say among such outstanding speakers. Then, when Beth informed me that they wanted it to be about Adam, and his story, and how he lost his life so suddenly, I said yes. Sharing Adam's story has become something I have gotten accustomed to doing. I won't say gotten used to, because I will never get used to the idea of sharing the fact that he died, and died so quickly. Well, my little Angel Adam was on my shoulder that day as I spoke about him. There were lots of people and cameras everywhere, and furthermore, it was very, very hot. I knew sharing his story was special and for a reason. Thank you God for the opportunity to share his story and maybe it will eventually be a small part of helping to make an impact on the childhood cancer world.

Ok, I know this is getting long, so I will end for now, but I will later share our adventure in the airport for 26 hours. God is always with us, because he allowed us to get our work on "the hill" done before the bad weather took over.

God Bless you all!
Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Saturday, June 17, 2006 2:37 PM CDT

Wow, it's been a while since my last update. We have been very busy preparing for our trip on "Capitol Hill", Wasington D.C. We will be leaving tomorrow and returning the following week. We are so excited to have 28 people from the State of Texas going along to advocate for childhood cancer funding and research. This is a true blessing for Tim, Andrew, and myself. We have several wonderful families who will be sharing their stories with the Senators and Congressmen on "the Hill".

CaringBridge friends and families, we ask that you keep all these families in your prayers. Pray for safety to and from. Pray that these legislators will have open hearts and minds and listen to the stories some of these young child cancer patients and survivors have to share.

I John 5:14-15: NKJV
Now this is the confience that we have in Him;
that if we ask anything according to His will,
he hears us. And if we know that He hears us,
whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions
that we have asked of Him.

CONQUER THE CHILDHOOD CANCER ACT OF 2006
This is one of our big goals, to get this signed by all our representatives (32) and senators (2) from the State of Texas. Guess what, right now, neither of our senators have signed and we only have one representative from our great state signed on. Congressman Michael McCaul, our congressman, has taken the lead by introducing this act in the House along with Congresswoman Deborah Pryce, Ohio. So, you see we have a long ways to go. Our children need this act passed. If you are reading this, you can help just by putting your zip code in the WRITE YOUR REPRESENTATIVE in the spot on this website. It will take you to a list of your senators and represetatives and from there it will guide you through how you can contact your legislators. You do not have to make the trip! You can take a stand for our children by clicking on the link above.

May God Bless you and lead you in a wonderful week.

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Wednesday, June 7, 2006 4:49 AM CDT

PROMISES FOR PARENTS:
What God is to the world,
parents are to the children.
--Philo Judameus--

God bless all the little children out there who are suffering at this very moment. May God place his hedge of protection around you and heal you. Comfort the families who have to sit by and watch their precious children endure pain and suffering.

HOMEFRONT NEWS:
It is quiet around our homefront. Andrew is away at church camp this week. This gives me a taste of what it will be like in about 5 years when he is gone away to college. Not liking it very much. Those years will be gone before I know it. Otherwise, we are doing well.

CURESEARCH NEWS:
Final plans made for the Washington DC trip. We are extremely excited about MD Anderson attending with us. They have letters and cards from parents and children that they will be delivering to Congressmen. Wow that brings tears to my eyes. How powerful will that be, hearing from the child. God Bless You!

Have a wonderful week and keep praying for all those precious sick children. REMEMBER GAP....God Answers Prayers!

Angel Adam's Mom

Tuesday, May 30, 2006 8:58 AM CDT

PROMISES FOR PARENTS:
Affection is the most satisfying reward a child
can receive. It costs nothing, is readily available,
and provides great encouragement.
--Anonymous--

I love that! Every child needs and deserves affection. After all they are the most "precious" gift that God ever gave us.

HOMEFRONT NEWS:
Out of school and busy. We have been spending lots of time in our yard. I find that very relaxing and comforting.

CURESEARCH NEWS:
Plans have been made for the Gold Ribbon Days Trip. Praise God, we have around 20 people from Texas joining us this year. We are so thankful. MD Anderson is sending 4 from their hospital. What an honor that will be for Texas to have staff from a Children's Cancer Hospital advocating for more funding. God is in this all the way. I feel like we are going to make great progress on "the Hill". Our Congressman, Michael McCaul, will be delivering a keynote speech also. We are so proud to have him represent us.

Have a wonderful week and God Bless each and every one of you. Prayers to the families with loved ones out there who are struggling with the demon, "childhood cancer".

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

P.S.
IF YOU ARE FROM TEXAS AND ARE INTERESTED IN SHARING A ONE PAGE STORY ABOUT YOUR CHILD WITH CANCER WHETHER THEY ARE A WARRIOR, HEREO, OR ANGEL, PLEASE CONTACT ME. WE WILL BE COMPILING A PACKET WITH STORIES FOR THOSE WHO ARE UNABLE TO MAKE IT. THESE WILL BE LEFT IN THE CONGRESSMEN AND SENATORS OFFICES FOR THEM TO SEE WHAT OUR CHILDREN GO THROUGH. A PICUTE BEFORE AND AFTER CHEMO WOULD BE GREAT TO ADD TO THE PAGE, IF NOT THE STORY IS FINE. DEADLINE JUNE 10.

Sunday, May 21, 2006 10:06 PM CDT

PROMISES FOR PARENTS:
If we never have headaches through rebuking our children,
we shall have plenty of heartaches when they grow up.
--Charles H. Spurgeon--

Sometimes people are crying out for help, if that is the case, I ask for guidance in helping those in need.
PSALM 34:17 - The Message says:

Is anyone crying for help? GOD is listening, ready to rescue you.

I pray this prayer....Father, You are listening. You hear each and everyone of our prayers, even before the words are formed clearly in our own minds. You hear our moans and sighs. You know the question that lingers in all of our hearts. Though it all, You wait patiently for us to come to You. Lord, perhaps someone is out there that is desiring your guidance, but does not know how to seek it. Lord, hear their cries whether it be by direct asks or through hurt or bitterness. I pray that you give them direction and wisdom. Thank you Lord for allowing me to seek your guidance first and foremost. Amen!

Have a wonderful week my CaringBridge Friends!

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Wednesday, May 17, 2006 10:33 PM CDT

PROMISES FOR PARENTS:
Even a child is known by his doings,
whether his work be pure, and
whether it be right.
--Proverbs 20:11 KJV--

Wow, that verse always amazes me. Adam used to go around saying "Even a child is known by his doings, Proverbs 20:11". He loved that Bible verse. In fact, we made the final decision to have it inscribed on his monumnet, just as he said it. Now, as I look back on it, God had brought him into this world for a short time...to be known by his doings, and it is appropriate and a legacy. God Bless you my little precious Adam. You knew the plans and works that were written in the Book for you way before we did.

Well, last Thursday (11th)I had a rough day. I won't go into detail but they always say things happen in 3's and that day it was true. This is also the day my dad died, 3 yrs. ago. Then, of course, Mother's Day followed. Tim and Andrew took my mom and I to Houston for the day. We just bummed around and went out to dinner. A great day! Sunday morning I woke up and told Tim I did not want to go to church. I have a hard time with Mother's Day because it is always "baby dedication" at our church, which is hard. Adam was dedicated into the church on that day when he was a month old. I told him I just needed to be at home. Andrew brought me breakfast in bed and roses. I told the guys I just wanted to spend the day at home with them, relaxing, and wanted them to grill something for dinner. They invited my mom over also and they did just that for us. It was a special family time. Thank You. My mother said she truly enjoyed being pampered also.

Today, as I write this, I have had a really difficult time. After dropping Andrew off at church this evening, he calls about 15 minutes later for me to pick him up. He said, "mom, don't get excited, but I chipped my front tooth". Well, you see he does not have 3 bottom front teeth so I immediately knew it had to be his top teeth, which is somewhat protected with braces. After arriving at church he didn't just slightly chip it, he broke it in half with his tooth not showing below the brace. I proceeded to ask how this happened. Lo and behold if him and 2 other friends proceeded to tell me they were throwing rocks. Literally throwing rocks. Well, it was a pretty good distance and lots of force behind which hit Andrew in the mouth and broke the tooth. Of course, I was angry... another messed up tooth. At the rate he is going they will all be implants at 18. First, I told them I was glad no one was seriously hurt but then proceeded to scold the 3 of them. I stressed to them how serious it could have been. Throwing rocks at someone's head is just plain "stupid" and not called for. I explained how the rock could have knocked an eye out or worse than that hit them right in the temple and killed them. Our Youth Director was there with me when I stressed to them how upset and disappointed I was in them, including Andrew. Anyway, my good friend's husband is our dentist, so I immediately called her. After x-rays, they temporarily bonded the tooth. He did indicate it was a pretty bad break and very, very close to the roots. The part at the bottom is very, very thin. If he starts to experience pain and tooth dicoloration that means the roots are dead and he gets a good old root canal, which cannot happen until the braces come off. Of course, we just went last week and he told us things looked great and they would probably be off by July.

Where am I going with all this? How am I ever going to let my guard down and not be overprotective. Everytime I try and lighten up, something happens. What am I going to do when he is ready to start driving...go with him everywhere. God, why always him. Is it me? Are bad things happening to him because of me? I am so tired of being afraid of things happening to him.
God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
--Psalm 46:1--

Father,
You are my Refuge.
Just parenting kids in today's world is a scary job, an overwhelming responsiblity, but You've promised that we never have to do this job alone. You, the God of the universe, hold each of us in Your hand, including our kids, and You know the outcome of what's going on right now. Let me rest in Your power and in Your plan for our lives and my son. Give me the stength to do what we need to do to release this fear. Father, I relinquished that fear to you when Adam was being called to his eternal home. Father I reqlinquish that fear again. I know I cannot be everywhere to keep him safe. I have to fully rely on you, you are everywhere. Father I do not want to cause him to be afraid of things happening to him. You know the plans for each and every one of us. You have brought us to this point in life and You know what lies ahead. Whatever that is, You promise to use this for our family's ultimate good. Help me to rest in Your assurance. Teach me to trust you more and not be afraid for my child.
Amen

Angel Adam's Mom

Tuesday, May 9, 2006 8:07 PM CDT

PROMISES FOR PARENTS:
Discipline your son in his early years
while there is hope.
If you don't you will ruin his life.
--Proverbs 19:18 TLB--

HOMEFRONT NEWS:
Winding down with school. Andrew has around 10 days left. He will most likely be exempt from his final exams so that will give him 3 less days. He is excited and looking forward to "being laid-back" for a while. But, the first week out he has church camp, then home a week, then to DC, home 2 weeks, and gone again. Of course, we will have a Destin Florida trip sometime in July. Then, before you know it the summer will be gone.

We all seem to be doing well, praise God. Andrew has had a little stomach problem and a blood test revealed his sugar level was a little high. Of course, they took the blood at the end of the day, so we are going back early Friday morning to do a glucose tolerance test, then repeat the blood work. Keep this in your prayers. I'm sure everything will be fine.

My dad will be dead 3 years on the 11th. I know he and Adam have been singing to the Lord in the high heavens these past 3 years.

Also, I think we have finally all three gotten on the same page as far as a marker for Adam's grave. I know this has been one of the hardest decisions to make. I guess it is closure...the final thing we do for him.

CURESEARCH NEWS:
Gearing up for DC. If you are from Texas, log on to CureSearch and sign up to attend Gold Ribbon Days. We need all the advocates we can get from Texas. We are also starting to prepare for the Swimathon in July benefitting CureSearch.

ADAM'S ANGELS MINISTRY:
What a blessing this has been for our family. We have been able to help several families experiencing childhood cancer. Sometimes the requests are much bigger than we could possibly meet; however, we try to assist in some small way if at all possible. We know Adam is so pleased that we are able to honor his memory by helping others.

God bless each and everyone of you. May he pour out his blessings upon you.

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Wednesday, April 26, 2006 9:49 PM CDT

Wow, read this PROMIES FOR PARENTS:

What a mother sings to the cradle
goes all the way to the coffin.
--Henry Ward Beecher--

This is so very true for me. I sang three songs to Adam as "night-night" songs (1) Jesus Loves You (2) You Are My Sunshine (3) Jesus Loves the Little Children. Adam in turn grew up singing these songs. Now, when I go to his grave I sing these same three songs everyday, and then blow him his kiss goodnight (except...to the grave).

CURESEARCH NEWS:
We had some wonderful visits while Rodney from CureSearch was last week. MD Anderson was truly wonderful. We went on a 4 hour tour of the research labs, met the research doctors, and even sat in on a doctor's bone marrow meeting, and finally actually saw a tumor in a petridish. It is truly amazing to actually witness the things we did. However, it is sad when speaking to the research doctors when they tell you they cannot go any further with the research due to lack of funding for childhood cancer. They explained to us how drug companies say there is not enought money in producing drugs for children. Wow....can you imagine that! It all comes down to MONEY! Once again, a material world, where children do not have a loud enough voice....THAT'S WHAT KEEPS TIM AND I FIGHTING AND GOING TO D.C. FOR FUNDING. You too can join in the fight for more funding by simply writing your Congressmen. A link is provided above...go to it, put your zip code in, and the list of your Congressmen, Senators, etc. will appear on the screen....then follow instructions to write your letter. You too can help in this battle for funding.

God Bless you all and until next time have a wonderful remainder of the week.

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Wednesday, April 19, 2006 6:28 PM CDT

I hope everyone had a blessed Easter. We went to a wonderful Easter Service at our church, had lunch with my mom, and just relaxed as a family. We were invited out, but Easter is always a difficult time for us. The first time Adam entered our home was Easter weekend in 1998. We sort of like to keep that as "our special time" when our little precious baby boy was brought home to be with us. He completed our family.

PROMISES FOR PARENTS
Jesus said, "I tell you the truth,
you must change and become like little children.
Otherwise, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven."
--Matthew 18:3 NCV--

We need to all take a lesson from this verse in the Bible and be more childlike and eager in our faith.

ADAM'S ANGELS NEWS
On April 6th we made visits to Texas Children's Hospital and MD Anderson Children's Cancer Clinc in memory of Adam's 8th birthday. Adam's Angels donated stuffed animals, VCR tapes/DVD's, a book in Adam's memory for the library, $2,000 worth of parking passes ($1,000 to each hospital). In addition, a wagon was donated to M D Anderson for the children to ride around in when feeling well. It gives us such great honor to be able to help other children and families are experiencing this horrible disease. Like I always say, our family was spared that end. Ours resulted in an "eternal home" in heaven must faster than anyone could ever have imagined.

CURESEARCH NEWS
The Vice President of Corporate Development with CureSearch, Rodney Mullins, is flying into Houston tonight. We will be picking him up at the airport and have planned meetings for the next two days with various businesses in Brenham, as well as Houston, M D Anderson, etc. Keep these meetings in prayer. We hope to reach businesses regarding how they can help in spreading awareness.

Everyone have a wonderful evening. God Bless You!

Angel Adam's Mom

Saturday, April 15, 2006 10:20 PM CDT

HAPPY EASTER MY DEAR FRIENDS! REMEMBER THE PASSION OF JESUS CHRIST THIS EASTER SUNDAY.

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."
--John 3:16--

PROMISES FOR PARENTS
Praise your children openly;
reprehend them secretly.
--William Cecil--

Easter Sunday, new dresses, candy, egg hunts, the Easter bunny, and little children everywhere. Yes, we tend to think of Spring when we think of Easter...new beginnings. As we prepare for Easter Sunday, let's remember the resurreciton of Jesus Christ.

Adam loved Easter. He loved all the normal things little children love...bunnies, baby chicks, eggs, candy, etc. But, he did love his "Sweet Jesus" more than anything. He knew Jesus arose from the dead on Easter Sunday and he was so excited to know that he was alive. He would say, "see I knew those bad men couldn't kill my sweet Jesus by driving those nails in his hands. My sweet Jesus was just sleeping", he would say. Sometimes when I think back I wonder how did he comprehend the birth, life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ so well for only a 4 yr. old. I know he was special to Jesus and Jesus lived within him even though Adam never publicly accepted Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior by baptism. He didn't need too, he was a born disciple of his. Thank you Jesus for loving my son so much that you spared him years of pain.

Have a holy and blessed Easter!
Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Saturday, April 8, 2006 11:43 PM CDT

HAPPY 8TH BIRTHDAY "LITTLE PRECIOUS" ANGEL ADAM!

PROMISES FOR PARENTS:
Children are a bridge to heaven.
--Persian Proverb--

You saw us today "little precious" as the three of us stood by your gravesite and remembered the four wonderful birthdays we celebrated with you on earth. We placed your favorite there...balloons. We also put the birthday bear and a candle made like a birthday cake. Did you like them?

I know you heard us singing "happy birthday" to you in the heavens. Wow, I'll bet you had a wonderful birthday celebration with Jesus today. Now, we are even, four birthdays with your earthly family and 4 birthdays with your heavenly family. Can't wait until I can get there and celebrate those heavenly birthdays with you, "little precious". We miss you so much. We laughed several times today when we thought about some of the silly things you used to do. Your brother talked about you a lot this week. I know he misses you so very much. He laughed today when he thought back to the time you bit him and drew blood. We all have some wonderful memories of you. Thank you "angel" for leaving us wonderful memories that we will always hold inside our hearts. By the way...you were right about the fern that I though was dead. You told me that it was just sleeping. It came back beautiful the first spring after you left for heaven, and it has come back prettier each year since then. I thought about that today as I spent my day in the flower beds and the yard. That's where you and I loved to be...remember. Just as the Promises for Parents above says....you are the bridge to heaven for me.

We love you precious, and until we meet again in heaven...
Happy Heavenly 8th Birthday.

Always,
Mom

Thursday, March 30, 2006 9:48 PM CST

My updates are not as often, but sometimes I have to do that to stay focused.

PROMISES FOR PARENTS
Children are poor men's riches.
--English Proverb--

Wow, so true. I can be poor when it comes to money, but I consider myself rich when it comes to children. My boys are truly as precious as "gold" and far more valuable than all the money in the world.

HOMEFRONT NEWS
All is well at home. Working my couple of days a week and actually getting ready to go to market this weekend for the boutique. That is always a fun, but very busy weekend. Believe it or not your mind gets cluttered at looking at so many clothes. It's like shopping (getting that fix) but not having to pay for it. I really love what I am doing.

Andrew is doing wonderful in school and really when you think about it, summer is around the corner. The year has flown. We have already planned his 8th grade curriculum. He will be taking a couple of high school courses in addition to being in all the AP classes. God has blessed me with an awesome, smart child. Still trying to figure out where that came from!

CHILDHOOD CANCER ISSUES
Next Thursday, we are planning to make a trip to Houston to the two children's hospitals to make some donations of toys, video tapes, parking passes, etc. in honor of Adam's 8th birthday, which is on Saturday, the 8th. This is going to be a really hard one for me. He will have now had as many birthdays in heaven as he shared with us here on earth. I do not like to think of it that way at all.

We are gearing up for Washington D.C. Lots of planning going on. We are hoping to have a lot more people from the State of Texas going this year. If you are a Texan and reading this, please contact us and let us know if your family would be interested in sharing your personal story on "Capitol Hill". You can also log on to Curesearch and register. Our children need us to fight this war on cancer for them.

In closing, I say God bless you all and have a wonderful weekend.

Angel Adam's Mom

Monday, March 20, 2006 8:41 PM CST

TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF SPRING!
I love Spring, it is the time for new beginnings. It reminds me of Adam very much so. He always loved to be outside in the yard working in the flowers with me. Now, everytime I am out there this butterfly comes around. I think of it as Adam's spirit, letting me know he is still with me in spirit. I can just smile!

PROMIESES FOR PARENTS:
If you have a habit of being attentive and expressing
interest, your children will not confuse your
loving instruction with rejection.
--Charles Stanley--

HOMEFRONT NEWS:
It was back to the routine today. School, work etc. We really had a pretty laid back Spring Break. We did not do anything specific. Tim and Andrew spent good quality time together with his brother and his son. They went fishing a couple of days and had a blast. Caught about 100 fish also. Andrew, my mom, and I spent one day together going out to lunch and just taking Andrew shopping. He loves time with his Goo-Goo, that's what he calls my mom.

CURESEARCH NEWS:
Keep the "Conquer Childhood Cancer Act 2006" in your prayers. We pray God works in the hearts of all the Congressmen/women and Senators. Our children need this funding!

God Bless You All! Happy Spring.

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Friday, March 10, 2006 10:00 AM CST

PRAISE GOD, PRAISE GOD, PRAISE GOD!

Philippians 4:6, NKJV Says:
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything
by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving,
let your requests be made known to God.

Wow, how can you not be anxious when it comes to more funding for "childhood cancer". However, exciting news regarding this issue. Our Congressman, Michael McCaul, was one of the two Congressmen that announced in a press release March 8, 2006 (see above note under this date for release) that he is throwing his full weight behind the Conquer Childhood Cancer Act 2006. He will be introducing this bill to the House along with Representative Deborah Pryce of Ohio. This is BIG. The is a landmark for "childhood cancer" should the bill be passed. The bill has to pass in the House and then goes to the Senate, which this is where we have had an uphill battle. Pray to God our officials have heard our stories and cries for help for our children with cancer. It would basically amount to $100 million to be allocated at $20 million each year for the next 5 years. Click on
CURESEARCH IN THE NEWS, select the story relating to Bipartisan, Senate-House Legislative Initiative to Introduce Landmark $100 million Legislation for Childhood Cancer.

Next week is Spring Break for us. We are ready to just RELAX and enjoy our time as a family. Everyone have a wonderful weekend and PRAY WITH CEASING for this wonderful news to become a "definite" reality. This is what we, along with all the other childhood cancer families who have attended Gold Ribbon Days in Washington D.C. have pushed for their past 3 years. God Bless!

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Tuesday, March 7, 2006 8:26 AM CST

Good morning CaringBridge Friends and Family. I hope this finds everyone doing well and blessed in their daily lives.

PROMISES FOR PARENTS:
All the days planned for me were written
in your book before I was one day old.
--Psalm 139:16 NCV--

Wow, how powerful is that! Reading this assures me that there was nothing that could have been done to keep Adam as a living body on this earth. God wrote his name is his "royal registry" way before he was even a day old. How awesome is that. Adam accomplished his earthy duties and was called home to be with his heavenly Father to accomplish the "ultimate" in heaven. When I read this is makes me happy and proud to know that God loved and needed Adam so much. He knew how much we loved him, but he needed him more to fulfill his duties in heaven. He saw no reason fr him to live on this earth in his "temporary" home under the conditions he would have had to live under. Thank you God for sparing Adam any suffering.

HOMEFRONT NEWS:
Next week will be Spring Break for us. We have not decided what we will do. A friend of Tim's flies a plane and we may be catching up with him and taking a trip to
"where-ever". We sometimes find those are the most awesome trips. Unplanned, relaxed, and to where-ever!

Have a wonderful week and God Bless you.

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Wednesday, March 1, 2006 8:15 PM CST

PROMISES FOR PARENTS:
The birth of every new baby is God's vote
of confidence in the future of man.
--Anonymous--

HOMEFRONT NEWS:
A normal week for a change. Praise God! Yesterday I accompanied a friend and her 16 yr. old son to MD Anderson Cancer Center for a checkup. His MRI of the head and brain were great and blood counts great, Praise God. His liver enzymes were high which they are going to keep a watch on, but think part of it is due to the fact that he is a growing 16 yr. old who eats lots of meat. Entering that floor and seeing all those cancer children just makes me sick. Children should not have to be going through the things they have to encounter with this disease. As hard as it is to see them, it gives me confirmation that I am doing the right thing by fighting for more funding for childhood cancer. These families are not able to go to Washington D.C. and share their stories. Their hands are full taking care of a sick child and their families. God bless them.

Andrew will have his first track meet tomorrow. He is excited. He has already informed me that I do not need to yell, just be silent because he has to concentrate when he throws the disc. I will obey...as hard as that will be for me.

Tim and I will be attending a wedding this weekend in Dallas. It will be good to get away. The young lady who was the first runner up in the Miss Texas Pagaent, Tara Gibson, is getting married. I'm sure it will be beautiful. We are looking forward to seeing her and her family.

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend. We are having wonderful weather...80's in Texas. May God guide all your paths.

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Wednesday, February 22, 2006 11:00 PM CST

PROMIES FOR PARENTS:
A happy family is but an earlier heaven.
--Horace Bushnell--

HOMEFRONT NEWS:
You know there is a old wives tales about bad things happening in 3's...sometimes I find that so true even though I am not superstitious. Since last Thursday, things have been a world-wind with sadness. Tim's uncle, as I mentioned previously, passed away suddenly. He went to Mississippi for the funeral and in fact is still there. Second, his dad's health has really gone downhill which has resulted in him staying there longer to try and get him in a nursing home or on hospice. Then, this morning my aunt (my mother's sister) passed away. She has just not been feeling well since the weekend so my mom has been checking on her daily. Early this morning she reeived the call from my uncle that he thought she had died in her sleep. We went immediately, and yes she was was dead. She was very peaceful. They do not have any children and so we have helped him make arrangements for the funeral. I ask that you please pray for him. He had a stroke in mid January and was released from the hospital to a rehabilitation center and just returned home about 10 days ago. He can barely get around and lives in a mobile home which is very hard for him to get around. My aunt had been doing everything for him. It is going to be very difficult for him without her. You know how you hear about one spouse dying soon after the other....I feel that may be the case. He carried on for her because he feared her being left without him. Now, I think he knows he can let go because she is in the best place.

Today, when I went to pick out her clothes and help with the funeral home arrangements, I actually did pretty well, all things considered. The good Lord was my strength and I knew I had to be strong for him and especially my mother. My mother and her were so very close. They talked to each other everyday and sometimes 2-3 times a day. Now, my mother just has a brother left. She lost a sister at the age of 44, one brother at 40, and the other at 38, all young. My aunt was a Christian and knew the Lord. She loved my little precious Adam and I know he was so very happy to see her. His heavenly family continues to grow...one day I will be reunited with him. What a joyous day that will be to see his little smiling face.

Please keep all those children and families who suffer daily in your thoughts and prayers. May God bless and protect each and everyone of my CaringBridge Family & Friends. You are a great source of strength.

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Thursday, February 16, 2006 5:23 PM CST

PROMISES FOR PARENTS
The God who made your children
will hear your petitions.
He has promised to do so.
After all, He loves them more than you do.
--Dr. James Dobson--

As I read this promise today I dwell on the words. "Will hear your petitions"...God did hear our petitions and plea when we asked for his will to be done. Our great God knew the type of life Adam would have to have if he were left here in his earthly home. He did not want that for him. God only wants what is best for our children, His children. After all, they truly belong to him and are entrusted to us during our temporory stay on earth. God knew the plans he had for Adam's life the moment he was conceived and he knew the moment he would called his name to come live the eternal life in heaven. For that, I have to give thanks...God knew the pain he would have to endure and he did not want that for "our little precious". God does not want that for any of his children and when he sees pain and suffering on this earth, he will call for his children to come home and have an eternal life in heaven.

HOMEFRONT NEWS
Rather busy week again. Yesterday we (Four Friends), the boutique I work at, did a style show for 100 women. This was a fundraiser for The Luke & Rachel Batten's Foundation, a brother and sister that are now blind. What a tough one. To be a child and to have experienced "sight" and then to have lost it would be horrible for anyone, must less to children. Statistics show that the children usually become blind by age 5, start experiencing memory loss, and total loss of motor skills, and eventally fatal by late teens or early 20's. Watching the video of these children was very, very difficult. Thank you God for allowing Adam to go with you quickly and without pain. God Bless Luke and Rachel!

We had a death in the family. One of Tim's uncles, whom he is very close to, went in for some minor surgery on Tuesday. He contacted a bacteria of some sort, developed a fever, and went cardiac arrest this morning and died early this morning.

A second scare this morning when our dear friend and neighbor called us around 5:00 am saying she needed to get to the hospital immediately. When we got to her house her heart was palpating so rapidly, it was as if it were coming out of her skin. We drove her to the ER. Her blood pressure medicine had just been changed this week, and was causing some problems with the heart. Her pressure was really high. They monitored her and she was released this morning and scheduled to see her doctor in Houston tomorrow.

So, this day has been full of a few scares and sadness. Thank you dear friends for staying in touch and I hope this finds your households doing well. God Bless You!

Angel Adam's Mom

Sunday, February 12, 2006 11:26 AM CST

UPDATE...FINALLY!
I did update once, lost it, so I just decided it wasn't meant to be. As you know, January is always a tough month in our household. Sometimes when I am in those moods it is just best to not update and not visit any sites. The life as angel parent changes from day-to-day, nothing is the same, or ever sure.

PROMISES FOR PARENTS:
Babies are living jewels,
dropped unstained from heaven.
--Sir Frederick Polluck--

CURESEARCH & ADAM'S ANGELS NEWS:
Busy...busy...busy. Lots of wonderful things are in the works, but nothing is ever for sure. Washington D.C. was very positive for us. We acquired the suppport of one Congressman, not even making a visit to his office, but his legislative assistants seeking us out the night of the reception where Tim and spoke. Wow! That was a wonderful feeling knowing that they are hearing about CureSearch and the work that is being done and seeking us out. Praise God!

Adam's Angels has received donations of approximately 150 VCR Tapes & DVD's by St. Paul's Christian Day School that we will deliver to the hospitals. They received so much during Christmas that we decided to wait and space our giving out throughout the year.

On February 3 we had a wonderful and very positive meeting in Brenham at our local representatives office, Lois Kolkhorst, along with 6 of the department heads at MD Anderson Children's Cancer Center. Some wonderful ideas and support derived out of this meeting. Our rep is going to introduce a bill in Austin, which I will not prematurely mention at this time. We are excited and are praying for success.

HOMEFRONT NEWS:
School is moving right along quickly for Andrew. He will be starting track season now. Something different for him. His grades are absolutely wonderful and we are truly blessed with such an outstanting, smart, young man. We keep asking ourselves....
where did he get it???

Well, God Bless you all and have a wonderful week.

Angel Adam's Mom

Thursday, January 19, 2006 11:05 PM CST

We have returned from Washington D.C. having made 8 visits from 10:00 am - 4:00 pm. Very busy and faced-paced. Our speech went well and we made it through without a break-down. Thank you God!

PROMISES FOR PARENTS:
But now the Lord who created you says...
I have called you by name; you are mine.
--Isaiah 43:1 TLB--

This being the eve of "Adam's 3 Yr. Angel Flight I need not say more. This verse speaks for itself. CaringBridge Friends, please keep us in your prayers.
FLY TO JESUS, ADAM, AND LIVE!

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Thursday, January 19, 2006 11:05 PM CST

Monday, January 2, 2006 7:18 PM CST

IT'S A NEW YEAR!
Time for new beginnings, new traditions, and new year's resolutions. It is hard for me to focus on new things because this is the month that Adam earned his angel wings...three years ago. I always find myself reflecting back to "our last times together". Sometimes I find myself laughing at the cute little things he did, and other times I am bawling my eyes out from sorrow and sadness. I cannot explain the yearning a mother has to hold her child when she knows it is impossible at the present time. Sometimes I find myself looking at his pictures and just touching them as if I were touching and carressing his skin. Sometimes this world I am in seems so unreal. I mind myself saying, is this real, yes this is real...but, why does it have to be real? Only God knows.

ADAM'S ANGELS MINISTRY
We were so blessed during Christmas! Through our ministry and many wonderful, caring, and generous people we were able to adopt 6 families for Christmas. In addition to delvering the $2,500 in parking passes and $500 in telephone calling cards. God is so good. The joy we received from the faces of some of the children was so fulfilling. I challenge each of you to consider adopting a family for Christmas next year. Our gift is the ability to give to them. Very rewarding!

CURESEARCH
Tim and I will be going to Washington D.C. for two days in the middle of the month for Team Leadership Training and for meetings on "the Hill". We will be ready this year since our funding was cut. Our Appropriations Requests was for $9.5 million and we only received $2.375 million. Very disappointing considering how some of the money is spent on "the Hill".

Well, we have all three been under-the-weather the past couple of days. Allergies and sinus problems have really taken a toll on us. We brought the new year in with medicine and bedrest.

I hope the new year finds everyone else doing well. I wish you many good days. May you find peace, joy, hope, and happiness in the year ahead. God Bless You.

Angel Adam's Mom

Monday, January 2, 2006 7:18 PM CST

Sunday, December 25, 2005 9:33 PM CST

Rise and shine...it's Christmas morning. Could have fooled me. I roll over after having Tim tell me three times what time it was. Time for church. No not today, even though I had good intentions the night before. My body, mind, and emotions could not do it, not today, even though it was Sunday. Today of all days,I could not bear to sit during the service and cry when I should be rejoicing about the birth of Jesus Christ. No, at this very moment I had forgotten the most important aspect of today...the birth of our Savior. What a precious gift God gave us. My selfishness was kicked into "high gear". Instead, I was dwelling on the fact that it was almost 10:00 am and I was still in bed. Not from the exhaustion from fulfilling the Christmas list. You see, there were none in the Culliver house. There were no tiny feet and loud voices to jump up screaming and run to the great room to see what the white bearded man in the big red suit had left behind. No milk or cookies had been placed by the fireplace the night before. The plain, small, white tree only had three small gifts under it. No video camera waiting to catch the excitement and long-awaited anticipation of a very excited little boy. No shouts of excitement, no bows, no torn paper spread all over the floor, and no batteries needed...instead a visit to the cemetery. Was it really Christmas morning?

Yes, it is. No this is not our first Christmas without our little precious Adam, it is our third. Why this reaction then? You see, this is our first Christmas in the house since Adam's death. The past two Christmas's we have taken a family trip. The three of us all felt that this was what we needed to do. We were not ready to face our USUAL family Christmas morning. This year, we decided to try and stay at home. I have to admit, for me, it was terrible and I hated the idea. I don't know exactly how Andrew felt, he has not expressed himself as of yet. He could not get into the Christmas spirit at all this year. He told Tim and I there was not anything he really wanted or needed. We offered several times to go and do the shopping trip we did the past two years and he elected not to. I had three very small presents for him, which I did not wrap (at his request), and I also gave them to him yesterday, sort of like "oh looked what I picked up for you". If I had to guess right now, I would say the best thing for our family is to make Christmas a "family trip" for the years ahead. Focus on making "new memories" and cherishing the "old".

Life changes so after the death of a child. You say, oh you need to pick up and carry on with tradition for Andrew's sake. Well, try it. Easier said than done. When he has no interest in carrying the old out, it makes it very easy to just say, fine by me. Also, the fact that he is a teenager results in the fact of "no excitement". He says it is not the same without Adam and that he doesn't want it to be the same. He wants to hold on to the memory of our last family Christmas together. I am with him on that one. That memory is just like yesterday in our minds. We can remember every reaction Adam had and everything he said when opening gifts. In fact, we even found ourselves laughing about how he would see a certain shaped box and say "oh, it's another shirt". He was so silly. As a family, we have learned to focus on others this time of year. We spent Thursday evening visiting three families in our hometown that our Family Life Sunday School Class and Adam's Angels Ministry adopted for Christmas. We shared joy by delivering gifts to these families who are less fortunate than us this Christmas. On Friday, we drove to Cleveland and then to MD Anderson, Houston, Texas where we spent time delivering joy and gifts to two very needy families who have children suffering from childhood cancer. Our gift was the wonderful gift of happiness that we received from these children who otherwise would not have had any Christmas gifts to open. Once again, we adopted these families on behalf of Adam's Angels Ministry and our Sunday School Class. We feel that God wants us to minister to others who suffer from the devastation of childhood cancer. No, we do not go to "preach" to people about God. We do not have too. They see God through us, through our giving, through the works of others who are willing to give to our ministry. I cannot tell you how fulfilling this is for our family. Andrew was so very patient the entire day. He spent time untieing dolls for three little girls and putting batteries in trucks for boys. He never once asked if we could hurry up. He too, experienced the total excitement in these children and knew it was a special time for them.

God is so wonderful in giving us the people he has given us to be so willing to help in the support of our ministry. God gave up his only son, so that we might be saved. So, why should I feel this way today. I shouldn't. The flesh is trying to control the spirt. My son was spared the pain that I witnessed in the eyes of these children. My son was given an eternal life in heaven with his Heavenly Father. Yes, all this was given must sooner than I as a parent would like for it to have been. But, man is not in contol, God is. He knows our every waking moments. He breathes life into us and knows the moment it is time for him to call us back. Adam was his child all along. He was only lent him to us for a while. I know God had a plan for Adam the moment he entered this world. We feel his short life was to teach us to love, have faith, and never lose hope in everything God does, even though it may not be "our way...human way". God knows best. Had it not been for Adam's death, we would not be doing what we are doing today. We would have never entered the ugly picture of "childhood cancer". No, we had a healthy child, why would we want to go there. We had our happy, healthy family and why should we step out of our safe and secure box into one full of hurt, pain, and the unknown. That's the problem right there. We only "go there" when we are "brought there", because of hardship or tradegy. It should not be that way.

Perhaps you are reading this and you have not experienced the "childhood cancer" world, God Bless you. However, do not let that stop you from opening that door by helping. No one likes to open this door and enter. It's a dark, dreary picture. Families who are experiencing it have no choice, they have to walk through it. These families are exhausted both emotionally, physically, and financially. They need our help! Help from those who have strength to help fight this battle and disease. Next year, consider adopting a family with cancer for Christmas. If you feel you cannot do that there are other means in which you can support. Perhaps you are financilly blessed and would be willing to make a donation. Consider buying your Christmas Cards from an organization that suppports childhood cancer. Our ministry is always willing to accept donations as mentioned at the bottom of Adam's website. There are many ways to give. If you would like to learn more about giving to CureSearch (National Childhood Cancer Foundation) the organization in which Tim and I are Texas Team Leaders for, log on to the following: CURESEARCH

Trust me, you will feel so fulfilled!

Thank you for crying with me along my journey. As a mother who has lost a child, there are good moments and there are bad moments. Those of you who have walked in my steps know and understand. We cry, we mourn, we get mad, we scream, we fake smiles, we make real smiles, and sometimes we even laugh. One thing is for sure...every day is a different day and we just live through the next 24 hours and don't expect to get over our child's death, but instead learn to live with it, just one day at a time. We always remind ourselves that death cannot take away the special love we shared. We learn to accept that we did not die when our child did, that our life did go on, and that we are the only ones who can make life worthwhile once more. God Bless You!

Merry CHRISTmas in Heaven, Little Precious.
What an awesome birthday party you attended today!

Angel Adam's Mom

Wednesday, December 21, 2005 10:38 AM CST

CHISTmas is around the corner. As we are about to enter this wonderful time of the year, please remember what it is really all about. I was standing in the store the other day and heard a lady say that she was so "stressed" out over shopping and the hustle and bustle of the holiday season. No one should feel that way. Read the "Food for Thought" below....
PROMISES FOR PARENTS
The most vivid memories of Christmases
past are usually not of gifts given or received,
but of the spirit of love, the special warmth of
Christmas worship, the cherished little habits of home.
--Lois Rand--
THAT'S WHAT IT IS ABOUT! MERRY CHRISTmas.

ADAM'S ANGELS MINISTRY
Our ministry is continuing to be blessed by the generosity of wonderful people. Our Sunday School Class has overwhelmed us with their generosity. God Bless You All!
Because of this generosity, we will be adopting 2 families locally, and right now 2 families from the Houston area. We are so thankful that we will be able to fulfill their small wishes this Christmas. God is good.

HOMEFRONT:
Tim and Andrew have been in Mississippi since Saturday, should be returning late today. I chose to stay back so that they could have some bonding time and I could spend time just reflecting and thinking and coordinating things with Adam's Angels. Tim's dad is not doing well. Keep him in your prayers. Andrew was so excited to be out for the holidays. He really stresed himself out over his finals. He sets his expectations so high, and almost always achieves his goal.

I would like to wish everyone a Merry CHRISTmas and a blessed New Year! CaringBridge is such a wonderful place to share memories and meet people who share some of your same thoughts and hardships. God bless everyone! Remember the REASON for the SEASON!

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Monday, December 12, 2005 7:48 PM CST

UPDATE!
PROMISES FOR PARENTS:
A mother is...one who can take the place
of all others, but whose place no one
else can take.
--G. Mermillod--

Wow, I like that! When I think about being a mother my insides just melt. Being a mother is one of the greatest gifts God ever gave me. It makes me sad to think what life would be like without having my children in my life. I know Adam was only with me for such a short while, but that time God allowed me to be his mother was so awesome. I will always cherish each and every moment I spent with him. Now, I am able to savor every moment being a mother to Andrew, a teenager. He has me all to himself, and of course, I love every minute of it. In saying all of this thank you for allowing me to be a mother and thank you for allowing my mother to be a special part of my life.

ADAM'S ANGELS MINISTRY:
Wow, God has truly blessed us with some wonderful people who have given so freely this Christmas. Because of their generosity we are going to be able to spread a little cheer to a lot of sick children and families.

Lots and lots of toys were donated at the 1st Annual Adam's Angels Gift Exchange Sunday, December 4. We also received approximately $3,131.00 in "Angel Gift" Donations, with some still filtering in. Thank you dear Lord.

Tim went to Texas Children's Cancer Center and MD Anderson Cancer Center on Tuesday, December 6th and presented approximately $2,500 worth of parking passes and $500 in telephone calling cards. The two hospitals will distribute these to families in need on behalf of our ministry. It fills our hearts to know through the generosity of our ministry and others, we are able to help some families this Christmas season.

HOMEFRONT NEW:
Things are rather quiet. Andrew is studying for finals this week. Christmas has really been rather calm in our household. We have chosen, as a family, to not exchange Christmas gifts. Instead, we ask that the giving go to Adam's Angels. It is so rewarding for us to know that we are able to give to others. As a family, we will go with Andrew, and buy a few things for him. Nothing extravagant! Andrew really enjoys the giving and finds it makes Christmas very meaningful to him. He focuses on the birth of Jesus Christ. Jesus's birhtday was very important to Adam. He would sing "happy birthday" over and over on Christmas. I think this is Andrew's way of carrying on with Adam's wishes.

If I do not get back to post an update...I wish everyone a "Blessed Christmas". Be safe and happy and remember to pause and share in the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ. God Bless You.

Angel Adam's Mom

Tuesday, November 29, 2005 8:45 PM CST

PROMIES FOR PARENTS:
For the Lord is always good.
He is always loving and kind, and his faithfulness
goes on and on to each succeeding generation.
--PSALM 100:5 TLB

ADAM'S ANGELS MINISTRY NEWS:
Things have been very busy with this ministry. Our toy drive/stocking stuffer went extremely well. This Sunday, December 4, 2005 is the next fundraiser. The 1st Annual Adam's Angels Ministry Gift Exchange sponsored by Mickey Johnson and Brad Bevers of Bever's Real Estate, and John Lammers of Discount Trees of Brenham. Those attending are being asked to bring an unwrapped toy, book, etc. in exchange they will have a choice in receiving a Living Christmas Tree or a Christmas Ornament. Monetary donations are accepted as well. My girlfriend, Jill King, will be singing as well as pictures with Santa and lots of Christmas treats and goodies.

We are so blessed to have such wonderful friends stepping forward and hosting events to spread a little cheer in the lives of children with cancer through Adam's Angels Ministry.

HOMEFRONT NEWS:
Thanksgiving is over. One down and two to go for us. Christmas is a very hard time of the year for our family. We have not celebrated it in the same form or fashion as we did when Adam was alive. As a family, we all have agreed to focus more on giving to those who are less fortunate due to the misfortunates one goes through when a family has to experience childhood cancer. We have so many things to be thankful for. Sure we lost Adam, but actually he won the battle, without a real struggle. He was spared all of the pain that most poor children have to suffer. In this aspect, we thank God. He never had to know the real "pain" that could have existed for him. His life was totally normal up until 4 hrs. before his diagnosis. Now is that God or what.

We did make a step forward this year by actually putting up a small Christmas Tree. We went and bought a 6ft. white tree and simply put gold ornaments on it. We also put two angels outside by our door and decorated the door. We decided we were ready to do a little something, but not a lot. Andrew did not want the same tree we had our previous years. So, this brought us to purchasing the white one. Good choice Andrew! Together we will get through this with God guiding us every step of the way.
The second hurdle will be January...Adam will have been in heaven with his "Sweet Jesus" three years already. God, it seems like about a month ago.

Work has been keeping me very occupied and I am enjoying it. I have such a wonderful group of people to work with. Thank you dear Lord.

In closing, I wish all my CaringBridge friends safety, health, and happiness for the upcoming month. Keep in mind the real reason for Christmas. God Bless You.

Angel Adam's Mom

Monday, November 21, 2005 10:10 PM CST

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL MY CARINGBRIDGE FRIENDS!

As we approach this Thanksgiving remember to stop and thank God for all the wonderful things he does for us daily. Sometimes we all find ourselves being caught up in the "worldly things" and forgot to give thanks to our Father above for life itself. Life is a precious gift from God, but our "eternal life" is the greatest gift of all.

I Thessalonians 5:16-18 NKJV
Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

This verse reminds me to be happy and thankful. People are naturally happy on some occasions, but the Christian's joy is not dependent on circumstances. It comes from what Christ has done, and it is constant.

ADAM'S ANGELS MINISTRY NEWS:
The 1st Annual Stocking Stuffer & Style Show benefiting Adam's Angels Ministry was a huge success. We had a total of 46 people in attendance. People were very generous. We had lots of toys, big toys, I might add. They will not fit into a stocking (oh well), we'll just fulfill lots of "sick" children's Christmas wishes. An approximate $2,500 in monetary "Angel Gifts" was donated. The 10onations from Four Friends from the Style Show has not been figured into this total as of yet. In addition, we received $1,000 donation to CureSearch. We will be able to purchase parking passes, telephone calling cards, food gift certifcates, etc. with this money. Thank you dear friends for your big hearts and generous giving.

December 4, 2005 is the next fundraiser. The 1st Annual Adam's Angels Ministry Gift Exchange sponsored by Mickey Johnson and Brad Bevers of Bever's Real Estate, and John Lammers of Discount Trees of Brenham.

I have so much to be thankful for! Thank you dear God for life and the hope of an eternal life with you.

God Bless You my CaringBridge Family & Friends.
Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Monday, November 14, 2005 10:48 PM CST

PROMISES FOR PARENTS:
Look for the good, not the evil,
in the conduct of members of the family.
--Jewish Proverb--

Wow...where is the month going? I cannot believe it is the 15th of November already. I can remember my mom telling me when I was a kid, "the older you get the faster time flies." I used to laugh...not anymore. It's so true!

HOMEFRONT NEWS:
Andrew has birthday this Saturday (19th). He will be a teenager. He is wanting to keep it real low keyed. He just wants 3 boys and we'll go from there. His choice.

Work is going great. It is fun picking out clothes and accessories for others. Angela and I did an Accessory Show for the Christian Women's Club on Friday. That was great and fun.

ADAM'S ANGELS MINISTRY
Tomorrow (November 15) is the"1st Annual Stocking Stuffer/Fashion Show/Luncheon hosted by a friend at The Vineyard Cafe (which the shop I work for owns). The fashion show will be put on by our shop "Four Friends". The owner will be making a percentage donation based on the sales from the show. The stockings will be filled with toys etc. for the cancer patients at the two hospitals in Houston, Texas. I am so excited about the response. We said we thought we would like to keep it small this year to see how things go (around 48-50 people). Well, we have 48. Praise God for the spiritual gift of "giving".

Luke 6:38 NKJV says:
Give, and it will be given to you: good measure,
pressed down, shaken together, and running over
will be put into your bosom. For with the same
measure that you use, it will be measured back to you.

Keep all the sick children in your prayers and may God bless you and guide you through a wonderful week..

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Tuesday, November 1, 2005 9:31 AM CST

Wow...I have not updated in a while. No news is good news.

PROMISES FOR PARENTS
A child's self-image is planted in the cradle,
grows through experience, and blossoms with
parental approval and support!
--Gary Smalley and John Trent--

How about that one...pretty powerful and true. As parents we have to do everything to encourage our children and not always find the bad or negative things. Children have to grow up having approval, if not, future years can be very difficult.

HOMEFRONT NEWS
All is well. Andrew is finishing up with his last football game this evening. He has truly enjoyed the sport and has matured through it also. I am so proud of him. Last game he was basically in charge of the plays. He did an awesome job. They lost in the last minute 7 to 6...a heartbreaker. He is doing very good academically and also went to his first halloween party/dance this weekend. He said the boys just stood around while the girls danced with each other. How cute!

I have been very busy lately. This past weekend I was invited to go to the Dallas Market with the owner and another co-worker and friend. Everyone always says oh what a fun weekend. Yes and No. Fun to see all the new fashions and be able to help select the merchandise to place in the store. Tiring...we had appointments every hour and walked from 9:00 am until basically 10:00 pm Friday, Saturday and Sunday. We were very busy. I am so pleased that I was asked to go seeing how I have just started in the store.

ADAM'S ANGELS MINISTRY
Lots of things are happening with this ministry. On November 15 a "Stocking Stuffer/Fashion Show/Luncheon hosted by a friend of mine will be at The Vineyard Cafe (which the shop I work for owns). The fashion show will be put on by our shop "Four Friends". The owner will be making a percentage donation based on the sales from the show. The stockings will be filled with toys etc. for the cancer patients at the two hospitals in Houston, Texas.

On December 4 another function is scheduled. It is hosted by Bever's Real Estate, Brad Bevers, Mickey Johnson, and John Lammers of Discount Trees of Brenham. This is called "1st Annual Adam's Angels Ministry Gift Exchange". Once again gifts will be collected to take to the two hospitals in Houston. Jill King, the friend who wrote the song for Adam, will be singing in addition to Independence Coffee Company furnishing coffee. There will also be cider, cookies and pictures with Santa. In exchange for the unwrapped gift brought, a Living Christmas Tree or Glass Christmas Ornament will be given.

God is good! This ministry is so fulfulling. It started out slow, but has really taken off with the blessings of so many wonderful people stepping up to host functions. I thank each and every one of these people for helping make a difference in the life of a childhood cancer patient. Christmas is about the birth of Jesus Christ and we must always remember the first and foremost. But, in the eyes of these children who see needles, pain, and hurt on a daily basis they need a special gift during this time. Families who experience this "demon" cannot financially afford to purchase gifts. Why not let the people who can give do so, it is a blessing to them to give.

In saying all that I will close. I hope this finds all of you doing well. God Bless You!

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Friday, October 21, 2005 10:11 PM CDT

PROMISES FOR PARENTS
I will comfort you as a Mother comforts her child.
--Isaiah 66:13 NCV--

Wow...reading that is powerful! I know that Adam is being comforted by his Heavenly Father in the same way I, as a mother, would comfort him if he were in his earthly home.

Well, I started a very "little" part-time job working in a dress boutique. I know the ladies and they have asked me before, but the time was just not right. This time round I thought I would give it a try. I will be working only two days a week for 6 hrs. a day. Weekends, spring break, Thanksgiving break, Christmas break, and summers are all off...the teenagers love to work then for spending money. I will still have plently of time to be involved in Andrew's activities, focus on my family, and do my volunteer work with CureSearch and Adam's Angels. I am excited to be doing something totally different than I have ever done before. I have always been in government or law. I do not want that headache anymore, nor stress. Speaking of stress, my attorney, 56 yrs. old was playing golf on Thursday, and dropped death of a heart attack. I could hardly believe it when I heard it. We used to work together when I worked for the County Court At Law Judge. He had a wonderful dispostion and sense of humor. He will be truly missed! He also lost his 4 yr. old daughter to cancer years ago.

One more thing I would like to share. Today, while I was working, an attractive young lady enters the shop that looked somewhat familiar. She was wearing a flight uniform (registered flight nurse). We both kept looking at each other somewhat as if we had met before. As I approached her, I glanced at her name tag and the name looked familiar. We began to carry on a conversation. Shortly afterward, I asked her if she was possibly a nurse at our local hospital in the ER around 3 years ago. Lo and behold, her reponse was yes. I then began to tell her about losing Adam so suddenly and before I could get it out, she just hugs me and tells me that she was the RN on duty that night in the ER. She knew the whole story. She said she always prays for our family.

You know, after Adam's death, I had to go to the ER a couple of times with Andrew and my mom. I always looked for her and hoped I would run into her again. She was so compassionate and I just wanted to tell her thank you for everything she did that night. Well, today I finally got the chance. God allowed me the time to heal. Had we met earlier, I would not have been able to talk, only cry. Praise God for bringing Tina into the store today. This is another example of God working.

My family is doing well. We had a busy school week and will also have a busy weekend. May God Bless You! A special prayer goes out to my friend Kristin, and her family, in Atlanta, Georgia.

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Sunday, October 16, 2005 10:21 PM CDT

PROMISES FOR PARENTS:
Good people who live honest lives
will be a blessing to their children.
--Proverbs 20:7 NCV--

WOW, what beautiful weather we have been experiencing here in Texas. The mornings are around 60 and afternoons sunny and in the low 80's. This time of the year is beautiful, but never lasts very long. We go from extreme heat to usually sweaters (and only for a short while).

HOMEFRONT NEWS:
We are all doing well, praise God. My little "yellow butterfly" has been fluttering around all over the yard lately. I call this my "Adam butterfly". The first spring after Adam died it was very hard for me to go in the yard and do work. The two of us spent lots of time outside, working in the flower beds. Anyway, I found it difficult to be out there without his presence. When I would find the strength to go out, this yellow butterfly would always seem to come around. He would even come and sit on my shoulder, for a pretty good while, seeing how most of them just stayed for a second or two, I found this unusual. I think of it as "Adam's spirit" with me when I am out there. It makes me smile because I know his spirit is alive and well in his eternal, heavenly home. It is his way of saying "Mom, it's ok, I'm happy and free with my Sweet Jesus".

Well I pray everyone has a great week. God be with all those that have special prayer request. God Bless You.

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Wednesday, October 12, 2005 10:51 PM CDT

Hello All! Today I will start with this prayer from a book I have titled "Everyday Prayers for Everyday Cares for Parents":

FATHER, You are the Source of blessing.
Everywhere we look, we see evidence of Your love.
From the food in the fridge to the face of our children.
Your grace and abundant provision give us cause for thanks.
But for the things we don't see, the things we can't touch
with our hands--like the gifts of joy, peace, and salvation--we want to thank You now.
You are the One who makes life worth loving, worth celebrating.
May our family bless You in a special way. Amen.

HOMEFRONT NEWS: Our family is doing great, thank you for checking. Andrew received his first report card for his big "first" year in Junior High. It was awesome...very high grades. We have a praise...he made Distinguished Honor Roll. We had sort of prepared him and ourselves for the fact that he may not make it, perhaps Regular Honor Roll instead. We told him we would be proud of him no matter what because we knew he was giving it his all. We knew it would take a good 6 weeks to get adjusted to having 7 teachers asking for things different ways. He was nurtured quiet a bit in private school and we really did not know what to expect. Well, he proved to us and himself that he could do it. We knew he could. God has blessed us with a loving, kind, intelligent young man.

My mom is doing just great. Working in her yard just like before. Nothing slows her down. Praise God!

May God Bless each and every one of you. Remember to keep all those precious children suffering from childhood cancer in your thoughts and prayers.

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Friday, October 7, 2005 5:04 PM CDT

PROMISES FOR PARENTS:
Our children are shaped in and by the mind of God.
--Anonymous--

HOMEFRONT:
Things are going well on the homefront. The cool air has finally arrived and it feels like fall. Fall reminds me of Adam being outside, running through the leaves. I can remember how I would be outside raking and raking piles of leaves, and lo and behold if I didn't turn around and he would be running through them scattering them everywhere. I wanted to get so mad at him, but all I could do was laugh. He was having fun, even with leaves. He was so silly and always happy. Wow, I miss those times.

I know I have a choice...to be down in life...or to be joyful. It is my choice.
PHILIPPIANS 4:4-5
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again. Rejoice!
Let your graciousness be known to everyone.
The Lord is near.
As Christians we pursue joy, but exactly how do we do that?
One of the ways we pursue joy is by placing our surroundings in proper perspecitve. As Christians who know that the coming of the Lord is near, we can endure tremendous difficulties because we know that something better is waiting for us beyond this lifetime. Those who do not have the hope of eternal life do not have this same hope. Those who face death without the assurance of eternal life have a much different perspective than those who face it knowing Jesus has saved them.

This is why I choose JOY!

God Bless You and have a wonderful weekend!

Angel Adam's Mom

Monday, October 3, 2005 10:06 PM CDT

PROMISES FOR PARENTS:
Parents who instruct and nurture their children
in God's ways will see fulfilled that great promise--
"he will not depart from it."
--Catherine Marshall--

HOMEFRONT NEWS:
Andrew lost his football game tonight, but they are learning a lot from each loss. He really was wiped out when he got home. He has a long day (on game days)...leave at 6:20 am and get home around 8:30 pm. I am so proud of him. He has really grown up. We have truly been blessed with a pretty awesome young man. (Mom's bragging rights!)

I must say I am really doing well at the time. I think I feel somewhat relieved that the month of September is over. We had so many things planned that were just not in God's timing (with the hurricanes and all). We had a really relaxing weekend, besides doing yard work all day Saturday. I feel peaceful right now about Adam. I have even managed to not cry at the drop of the hat lately. Pretty amazing for me. God has given me peace! Guess what? I made it through church yesterday WITHOUT CRYING! Praise God for small blessings.

Adam's Angels Ministry was blessed this month with several monetary donations. Thank you donors and praise God for your gifts. Christmas will be approaching and we will be doing some special things at the children's wings in Houston, Texas. God is good!

Bless all of you my CaringBridge friends and have a safe and blessed week.

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Thursday, September 29, 2005 11:30 PM CDT

UPDATE!
I give praise to GOD for complete safety from Hurricane Rita in our area. God is Good!
PSALM 27:5 NIV
For in the day of trouble he will
keep me safe in his dwelling;
he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle
and set me high upon a rock.

HOMEFRONT NEWS:
ANDREW: WON A FOOTBALL GAME!
He was so excited and made a wonderful tackle and caused a fumble which we recovered and made a touchdown from later. He was a little under the weather and had to go back to the doctor for an antibotic. On the mends now. Tim and I are doing fine and praising God for it.
MOM:
Final diagnosis after a year-long study of her DNA...Thrombocythemia (blood disorder of too may platelets in the bone marrow). Cause...unknown, most likely part of her DNA makeup. Probably had it all along but someone finally paid attention to the platelet levels being high. What will she do? Based on her overall health (good), no side effects from the disease...nothing at this time. Some options...chemotherapy or plateletpheresis (removal of extra platelets from the blood). The chemo could result in more risks than the benefits and upon the doctors evaluation at this time...continue as usual. However, they did take 10 viles of blood which will be used in a research study in Indiana. This study is close to the discovery of a new drug that may benefit this type of blood disorder. So, for now she continues on and if she experiences any signs of a "mini stroke" we are to contact her doctor immediately.

CURESEARCH NEWS:
CHILDHOOD CANCER AWARENESS MONTH IS ABOUT OVER!
Our fundraising efforts have been very difficult this month considering the Katrina Relief and Rita needs. God knows best and he will provide.
SEPTEMBER 30, 2005
Brenham Cub Football Game "Greenout"-POSTPONED DUE TO HURRICANE RITA-DATE PENDING - Sponsored by MWM Sports, Inc.
CHILDHOOD CANCER AWARENESS SPECIAL INSERT:
The Brenham Banner Press did include a special insert in today's paper. Thank you sponsors!
WASHINGTON COUNTY COURTHOUSE:
We have been able to place "childhood cancer gold ribbon" stakes on the courthouse lawn this last week. This is to honor the heroes, warriors, and angels of the children who have been affected in our county by this disease.

May you all have a wonderful weekend and remember to keep all the lost and suffering families in your prayers.

Angel Adam's Mom

Wednesday, September 21, 2005 9:47 PM CDT

PRAYER:
Now this is the confidence that we have in Him,
that if we ask anything according to His will,
He hears us. And if we know that He hears us,
whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions
that we have asked of Him.
I John 5:14-15 NKJV

This is all I have to say today...dear Lord bless all the people about to face Hurricane Rita. Keep them as safe as possible. Brenham, is approximately 70 miles from Houston, so if it hits Galveston we could very well have severe tornadoes from this Hurricane. If it hits Matagorda it could come right over us, either way we could experience some extreme weather conditions. Right now, our plans are to watch the weather closer tomorrow. We have an overnight bag packed, with important documents ready to go. Which direction we will head, God knows! Lord, the material things I can do without, but please protect my family. Our schools will be closed on Friday due to the buses of evacuees that are being brought to our area. Our schools will be serving as fallout shelters. Dear Lord, let you will be done in this situation.

CURESEARCH NEWS:
IT'S OFFICIALLY "CHILDHOOD CANCER AWARENESS MONTH"
Our fundraising efforts are rather slow this month considering the Katrina Relief needs. Now, in TEXAS we are facing HURRICAN RITA. We realize the "diaster" that takes place with hurricanes. However, please keep in mind "childhood cancer" is a disaster that never goes away. Approximately 12,500 children are diagnosed every year with this "disease". The things people never really hear about with this disaster is that families are torn apart, homes are lost due to medical expenses, bills still flow in, sometimes jobs are lost, emotions are overwhelming, and sadly the life of a child may have been lost. These families have to pick-up "the pieces" of what may be left and try to go on with whatever help may come along. So, I ask that you please remember "our childhood cancer" families who suffer everyday. God Bless You!

AUGUST 23 - SEPTEMBER 30, 2005
Independence Coffee Co. Fundraiser has begun!
Visit Independence Coffee Co.
SEPTEMBER 30, 2005
Brenham Cub Football Game "Greenout"
Sponsored by MWM Sports...visit MWM Sports, Inc.
PROCLAMATION:
Declaring September Childhood Cancer Awareness Month has been signed by the Governor of Texas for the State of Texas; also by our County Judge, Dorothy Morgan, for Washington County, Texas.

Have a wonderful weekend and God Bless you my CaringBridge family and friends! Keep our safety from Hurricane Rita in your prayers.

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Sunday, September 18, 2005 12:22 AM CDT

PRAYER REQUEST:
The "Dinah Matthews" family...Dinah earned her angel wings yesterday. She has been strugling with AML for a little over a year. God Bless her as she is "painfree" in the arms of her sweet Jesus.

PROMISES FOR PARENTS:
Be glad for all God is planning for you.
Be patient...and prayerful always.
--Romans 12:12 TLB

Wow...pretty powerful! I don't know about you, but sometimes the plans God has for us may not be exactly what we had in mind. I knew through Adam's death, God had a plan. At the time, I could not even grasp the idea that there was a plan behind it all. Now, it is all so vivid. My problem was I had to be patient so that He could reveal that plan to me. You see, patience is NOT one of my spiritual gifts...I like results instantly. Sometimes when things aren't happening quickly enough I have to remind myself of this scripture.

HOMEFRONT NEWS:
Well, my updates seem to get farther and farther apart. I don't know if that is a good thing or bad. Lots of things took place this week.
TIM'S DAD:
He has been in the hospital in Mississippi for about a month now. Tuesday, they all decided he was going to have to have a feeding tube inserted in order for him to receive nutrition. He has gotten to the point where he cannot even get Ensure down. He has ulcers but what else, they are not sure of. He nows weighs around 130 lbs. and is too weak to do anything. Talking and trying to walking are major chores right now. Keep him in your prayers.
MY MOM:
She received a telephone call from her doctor, which has been researching her blood disorder for the past year, saying he really needed to see her soon. She called so upset and crying that I could barely understand her. Her doctor did confirm with me that he does need to see her and discuss in depth what this year-long DNA research of her blood disorder has revealed and what the treatment plan would be, should she decide to pursue it. Please pray that she has a calm spirit about what he has to say and makes the decision she feels is one she can be happy with. Whatever she chooses...we will be here for her.
ANDREW:
Had a really busy, busy week. Lots of tests! Doing great in school according to the 3 wk. progress report. Football, well they got skunked Tuesday, 42-8. He also had the Washington County Fair this week. This is a year-long project that he works on. He showed a pen of three heifers who must be bred and preferably the farther along, the better, and must be fairly uniform in build etc. Well, he just feeds these animals and when you first buy them they may look alike, but as mature over the year, they may change. You also keep a recordbook on them of all your expenses and anything you want to share about them. I have to say, he had a successful year. This was his fifth year to show. He placed THIRD in his division and was called back for a personal interview with the judges on his recordbook. He did not win anything on the recordbook, but Friday night at the sale, he sold his animals for $2,500 per head (total $7,500). His animals sold higher than the Grand Champion. How is this you ask? Depends on how the bidders decided to bid and how much they want them. He was so excited first about placing 3rd, because he has held the bottom ranks the previous years, but always sold well. However, this year, total turnaround in both areas. He couldn't believe it when he heard his name in the third position. Praise God! He really needed this encouragement in order for him to continue this project next year. He was really desiring this higher placement. The money he makes from his fair projects are put into an account that he has set up for his college education, etc.

He also entered two pieces of photograph work and received RESERVE GRAND CHAMPION on the "Vietnam Memorial", and a 2nd on his "Sunset". He put a lot of thought into the one he won on...laying down and taking the picture from the ground up and calling it "Up the Wall of Names-Vietnam Memorial". He has a pretty creative mind!

CURESEARCH NEWS:
IT'S OFFICIALLY "CHILDHOOD CANCER AWARENESS MONTH"
Monday, September 12, 2005 we had a booth at Texas Children's Hospital for the Childhood Cancer Awareness Fair that was taking place that day. Lots of nurses, doctors, moms, dads, and childhood cancer patients stopped by to inquire about CURESEARCH. It is so wonderful when someone stops by and says they have heard about CURESEARCH and want to say "thank you" for all they do.

Our fundraising efforts are rather slow this month considering the Katrina Relief needs. We realize the "diaster" that has taken place with the hurricane. However, please keep in mind "childhood cancer" is a disaster that never goes away. Approximately 12,500 children are diagnosed every year with this "disease". The things people never really hear about with this disaster is that families are torn apart, homes are lost due to medical expenses, bills still flow in, sometimes jobs are lost, emotions are overwhelming, and sadly the life of a child may have been lost. These families have to pick-up "the pieces" of what may be left and try to go on with whatever help may come along. So, I ask that you please remember "our childhood cancer" families who suffer everyday. God Bless You!

AUGUST 23 - SEPTEMBER 30, 2005
Independence Coffee Co. Fundraiser has begun!
Visit Independence Coffee Co.
SEPTEMBER 30, 2005
Brenham Cub Football Game "Greenout"
Sponsored by MWM Sports...visit MWM Sports, Inc.
PROCLAMATION:
Declaring September Childhood Cancer Awareness Month has been signed by the Governor of Texas for the State of Texas; also by our County Judge, Dorothy Morgan, for Washington County, Texas.

Have a wonderful week and God Bless you my CaringBridge family and friends!

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Thursday, September 8, 2005 1:29 PM CDT

PROMISES FOR PARENTS:
If you want your children to keep their feet on the ground,
put some responsibility on their shoulders.
--Abigail Van Buren

HOMEFRONT NEWS:
Busy, busy week once again. I don't think it will slow down this month. I worked in the Storm Shelter Service Center we opened in Brenham through Faith Mission to assist the evacuees. Wow, it was heart-wrenching and a true blessing at the same time. Keep those people in your prayers.

Andrew has been under the weather...just an old fashioned cold and cough. He is run down from getting up so early in the morning for football. It will take some getting used to for him. He had his first game last night...not good, lost 20-0. They made several first downs, just couldn't get anywhere after that. He was a little bummed about it, plus he was not feeling well so he was not a happy camper last night nor this morning. Let's pray that changes by the end of the day.

CURESEARCH NEWS:
IT'S OFFICIALLY "CHILDHOOD CANCER AWARENESS MONTH"

I am sorry to say we did not have the Dunk-a-Booth at Wal-Mart last weekend. We were undecided as to whether we should do it considering the Katrina Relief efforts going on. I think God confirmed it for us when nothing seemed to work out. Sometimes you just have to seek God and he will give you your answer.

AUGUST 23 - SEPTEMBER 30, 2005
Independence Coffee Co. Fundraiser has begun!
Visit Independence Coffee Co.
SEPTEMBER 3, 2005 (This Saturday)
SEPTEMBER 12, 2005 - Texas Children's Hospital Health Fair
Sponsored by Candlelighter's
SEPTEMBER 30, 2005
Brenham Cub Football Game "Greenout"
Sponsored by MWM Sports...visit MWM Sports, Inc.
PROCLAMATION:
Declaring September Childhood Cancer Awareness Month has been signed by the Governor of Texas for the State of Texas; also by our County Judge, Dorothy Morgan, for Washington County, Texas.

God Bless You My Friends! Continue to keep those suffering the blunt of Katrina in your prayers and as always all our precious children who are suffering from childhood cancer.

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Wednesday, August 31, 2005 11:54 PM CDT

PROMISES FOR PARENTS:
Bless our children, God, and help us so to fashion
their souls by precept and example that they may
ever love the good, flee from sin, revere Thy
word, and honor Thy name.
--Union Prayer Book--

Dear Lord...this is what we desire for our children. Tonight I send out a special prayer for all the families that have been devastated by Hurricane Katrina. Families who have been separated from their loved ones, not knowing if they are dead or alive. Lord I cannot imagine the feeling they are going through. Lord when you called for my son you clearly called for him and there was no question that he was about to spend an eternity with you. These families dear Lord have no homes, no jobs, no money, no place to go back to, and pray hour-by-hour that you will give them a sign that their loved ones are alive. Lord, these people continue to seek you and are totally relying on you to provide the means by which they can find shelter, food, and loved ones. I ask that you place a hedge of protection around their families and what material belongingS they may have left Lord. I seek all this in your Son's precious name, AMEN.
Isaiah 41:10 NKJV says:
FEAR NOT, FOR I AM WITH YOU; BE NOT DISMAYED, FOR I AM YOUR GOD, I WILL STRENGTHEN YOU, YES, I WILL HELP YOU, I WILL UPHOLD YOU WITH MY RIGHTEOUS RIGHT HAND.

HOMEFRONT NEWS: School as usual...Andrew enjoying football...first game Tuesday. Our church has been directly helping some of the victims of hurricane Katrina. We have approximately 400-500 people seeking shelter, food, and assisatance in Brenham at this time. Our church family has been working night and night trying to meet some of the immediate needs of these families. Seeing what these people are going through gives you a REAL REALITY CHECK. Please keep all families suffering from this hurricane in your prayers. I have never experienced something like this. It is a real eye-opener. Andrew has been right along beside us, helping, playing with children, feeding them, and just being there for comfort. His heart is so concerned for these families.

CURESEARCH NEWS:
IT'S OFFICIALLY "CHILDHOOD CANCER AWARENESS MONTH"
AUGUST 23 - SEPTEMBER 30, 2005
Independence Coffee Co. Fundraiser has begun!
Visit Independence Coffee Co.
SEPTEMBER 3, 2005 (This Saturday)
Dunk-A-Booth Fundraiser
Sponsored by Wal-Mart (Brenham)
SEPTEMBER 13, 2005 - Texas Children's Hospital Health Fair
Sponsored by Candlelighter's
SEPTEMBER 30, 2005
Brenham Cub Football Game "Greenout"
Sponsored by MWM Sports...visit MWM Sports, Inc.
PROCLAMATION:
Declaring September Childhood Cancer Awareness Month has been signed by the Governor of Texas for the State of Texas; also by our County Judge, Dorothy Morgan, for Washington County, Texas.

God Bless Everyone! Hug your loved ones tonight and if you are sleeping in a nice warm bed, thank God...because many are not.

Angel Adam's Mom

Wednesday, August 24, 2005 10:06 PM CDT

PROMISES FOR PARENTS:
Kids will get in trouble, but it's human
nature to get as close to the hot stove
as you can--and sometimes you touch it.
--John Wayne--
Does that sound familiar with your kids?

HOMEFRONT NEWS:
Well, Andrew got through 2 days of school, and did really well. As for me, well I had a hard first day. Dropping him off at 6:20 am, in the dark, for footbal, is not what I like. It was so hard for me to not walk him in and visit with teachers etc. I was so used to that. He is independent now and I have to let him "spread his wings" as they say. He has a solid foundation and I know he will use good judgment in everything he does. There are just so many kids. One thing that helps is that he is in 5 AAP classes (accelerated programs), so the kids are there because they want to learn not because they have to.

Football is really working him hard. He came home pretty tired and sore today. I can't believe he has grown up so quickly. I'm here to tell you, love them, spoil them, and cherish the time they are little, because it's like you wake up one day and they are taller than you, talking with a deep voice, and a young man. Everyday I pray that God watches over him. It's hard, because he has to walk in this big old world and encounter daily challenges. With Adam, I know where he is and there is no worry.

I am having some mixed emotions this evening. Tomorrow Adam would be starting 2nd grade. It is so hard to believe that he would be that age. I become so sad when I do think about the childhood he did not get to experience, but then I reflect on what he is doing and sharing with his heavenly Father, and I can smile. I know he is safe and happy. God Bless you my "little precious". You are forever in my heart and I miss you every day. Life is not the same on this earth without your precious smile and beautiful eyes.
I LOVE YOU!

CURESEARCH NEWS:
AUGUST 23, - SEPTEMBER 30, 2005
Independence Coffee Co. Fundraiser
visit Independence Coffee Co.
MONTH OF SEPTEMBER
Childhood Cancer Awareness Month
SEPTEMBER 3, 2005
Dunk-A-Booth Fundraiser
Sponsored by Wal-Mart (Brenham)
SEPTEMBER 13, 2005 - Texas Children's Hospital Health Fair
Sponsored by Candlelighter's
SEPTEMBER 30, 2005
Brenham Cub Football Game "Greenout"
Sponsored by MWM Sports...visit MWM Sports, Inc.
TO BE ANNOUNCED
Proclamation declaring September Childhood Cancer Awareness Month

Special prayers to "the Adam's Family". Their 16 yr. old son was killed and 9 yr. old son injured in a automobile accident today. Keep this family in your prayers. God Bless!

Angel Adam's Mom

Wednesday, August 24, 2005 10:06 PM CDT

Monday, August 22, 2005 9:43 PM CDT

PROMISES FOR PARENTS:
He puts his angels in charge of you
to watch over you wherever you go.
--Psalm 91:11 NCV

HOMEFRONT NEWS:
The above, is exactly what we feel about Adam. He is our "little precious angel" watching over us wherever we go. Tomorrow, as Andrew starts his new school, Angel Adam will be watching over him. I know school is just a natural part of almost every child's life, but this year is so different for us. Our first time in public school. The junior high age can play such an important part in the future years. You want the very best for your child and of course, we have kept Andrew somewhat sheltered in private school. We know it is time to let him show us the wonderful young man he is, but it doesn't make it any easier. He is very level headed and I know he will be a beacon for others. We are excited about his teachers, football, and his independence. We are going to try very hard to let him spread his wings.

CURESEARCH NEWS:
AUGUST 23, - SEPTEMBER 30, 2005
Independence Coffee Co. Fundraiser
visit Independence Coffee Co.
MONTH OF SEPTEMBER
Childhood Cancer Awareness Month
SEPTEMBER 3, 2005
Dunk-A-Booth Fundraiser
Sponsored by Wal-Mart (Brenham)
SEPTEMBER 13, 2005 - Texas Children's Hospital Health Fair
Sponsored by Candlelighter's
SEPTEMBER 30, 2005
Brenham Cub Football Game "Greenout"
Sponsored by MWM Sports...visit MWM Sports, Inc.
TO BE ANNOUNCED
Proclamation declaring September Childhood Cancer Awareness Month

God bless you caringbridge friends! Remember September is childhood cancer awareness month. Do something to make a difference in the life of a CHILD suffering from cancer.

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Saturday, August 20, 2005 0:04 AM CDT

PROMISES FOR PARENTS:
He will soften adult hearts to become like children's,
and will change disobedient minds to the wisdom of faith.
--Luke 1:17 TLB--

CURESEARCH NEWS:
AUGUST 23, - SEPTEMBER 30, 2005
Independence Coffee Co. Fundraiser
visit Independence Coffee Co.
MONTH OF SEPTEMBER
Childhood Cancer Awareness Month
SEPTEMBER 3, 2005
Dunk-A-Booth Fundraiser
Sponsored by Wal-Mart (Brenham)
SEPTEMBER 13, 2005 - Texas Children's Hospital Health Fair
Sponsored by Candlelighter's
SEPTEMBER 30, 2005
Brenham Cub Football Game "Greenout"
Sponsored by MWM Sports...visit MWM Sports, Inc.
TO BE ANNOUNCED
Proclamation declaring September Childhood Cancer Awareness Month

HOMEFRONT NEWS:
Yesterday I seemed to have a really hard evening. Another child that I had briefly followed earned his angel wings. The whole story brought back so many memories for me. The family had to decide to remove him from life support. My heart ached for this family. I could feel their pain and just wished I could have been where they were to comfort them. Having gone through a life changing event, like losing a child, brings you close to a family, even if you have never had the opportunity to meet them. You pray for these families night and day. God bless them and their precious little angel. I know my Adam was there with a smile knowing another friend joined him and was now pain free. Please keep this unmentioned family in your prayers these next few days.

This will be our last weekend before school starts. We'll have to make the most of it. Last night we picked up football equipment. Gosh, Andrew looked so big with all that gear on. Ready or not, here he goes. Just another part of life and growing up.

Everyone have a wonderful weekend and God bless you.
Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Tuesday, August 16, 2005 10:18 AM CDT

Wow, it's been a while since I updated. Lots of wonderful and exciting things going on. School is around the corner for us and started for some of you.

PROMISES FOR PARENTS
The importance of spending time with our children
is a truism that needs to be repeated as often as
possible. Time is a non-renewable resource;
once it's gone, it's gone.
--Greg Johnson & Mike Yorkey

Wow does that hit you or what. So very true. That's part of why my updates or not as often. I want to be able to spend time with Andrew, but still be able to follow through with my volunteer work. Speaking of Andrew...we went to the Junior High School yesterday and picked up his schedule, ID cards, and books. He was excited and walked the buildings to become familiar with them. It is going to be a drastic change for him, and us I might add. When I went there, I knew about half of the teachers and one I had when I was in school. Andrew's response was "God Mom, I wouldn't be able to get in trouble if I tried, you know everybody". That's the perks of a small town. Thursday we will pick-up football equipment, which is really exciting for Andrew. A little scarey for mom. My son is growing up so fast. Yesterday I was holding him and today he can hold me.

CURESEARCH NEWS
AUGUST 9
SWIM-A-THON. It went great. The total money collected is not in as of yet. Appromimately 1,750 total laps were swam by 30 swimmers. We are guessing around $10,000 was raised.
ASTROS BASEBALL GAME. Absolutely awesome publicity for CureSearch. Tim, Andrew, and myself went down on the field around 6:30 with several cancer patients and Dr. Dryer from Texas Children's Hospital. They recognized the organization and what CureSearch is about. A 12 yr. old cancer patient threw the first pitch to Craig Biggio and then autographed the ball for him. Lots of pictures taken. Then, Adam's best friend, Hadley Webb and Jack Baker were sent to the announcement area and they put them on the big screen, recognized them, and Hadly announced "LET'S PLAY BALL". It was pretty awesome. There were probably around 150 people there. We were able to meet a lot of the families and get pictures with them. Junction Jack came into the stands and took pictures with the kids. Truly a wonderful experience. Some of the children were so excited. The age ranged from 2 yrs. to 20 yrs. It broke my heart to see some of them. The daily struggles they encounter, like the simple act of walking and talking are difficult for some. We take so much for granted. When you look into the eyes of a "child cancer patient", it makes you very sad. You can see the pain they endure on a daily basis. God Bless those children. Intermingling with these children is so rewarding. It makes Tim and I fight even harder for funding for childhood cancer.

UPCOMING EVENTS
September - Childhood Cancer Awareness Month
September 3 - Fundraiser sponsored by Wal-Mart (Brenham)
September 13 - Texas Children's Hospital Health Fair
TBA - Proclamation declaring September Childhood Cancer Awareness month
Month of September - Independence Coffee Company Fundraiser

Well, God Bless you my friends. Hope you have a wonderful day.

Angel Adam's Mom

Friday, August 5, 2005 10:52 PM CDT

Back from a busy, busy week with an update.

PROMISES FOR PARENTS:
A father is a fellow who has replaced the
currency in his wallet with snapshots of his kids.
--Mike Forest--

CURESEARCH NEWS
Wow...a busy week! We have been working on lots of events. Tuesday, as mentioned before, we did a 30 broadcast with COX Radio-Houston about Adam's personal story and our involvement with CureSearch. That interview will be broadcast on three Houston Radio Stations as follow:
Sunday, August 7, 2005
6:00 am 97.1 and 107.5
6:30 am 92.9 (93Q)
Thank you Mike Mollett for this wonderful opportunity to share our story and spread awareness about childhood cancer.

Thursday we went to Arlington, Texas (Ameriquest Field) for a Texas Rangers Baseball Game with childhood cancer patients and their families. The children were featured during the 4th inning on the Jumbotron screen. These tickets were furnished to CureSearch by the Major League Baseball Teams. The cancer children (Steven, P.J., Dezra, Joseph, Natalie, Mackenzee, Weston), siblings of Angel Griffith, Angel Joey, and Angel Adam all enjoyed the game. Guess what...the Rangers won after losing 7 in a row. Big win too...13 to 5 and they hit 3 homeruns. The children all wore the "Childhood Cancer Stinks" t-shirts and green armbands(furnished by CureSearch). They were definitely noticed and extra excited over the win. They had an awesome time. This was such a blessing for us to be able to provide such an enjoyable evening for these families. We take so much for granted in our daily lives. When you see these children suffering from this "demon" it hurts your soul inside. We are so proud that we have the opportunity, through CureSearch, to be able to help make a difference in the life of these children.

HOMEFRONT NEWS
Getting ready for school, about 16 more days at home with Andrew. He went for his football physical today...and wow has he grown (145 lbs., 5'5-1/2"). We are so proud of the fine young man he is turning into. God has truly blessed us with a "godly" son. We are fortunate to have him in our lives as well as having had Angel Adam for the short time we did. Thank you God for two "loving, godly, boys".

As for Tim and I...we are doing fine. We are staying busy with focusing on raising Andrew (and the upcoming Jr. High years), and fulfulling Adam's legacy of helping children. Next week Tuesday, August 9, 2005, 7:05 pm, we will go to the Astros Baseball Game (Houston, TX) with childhood cancer patients from the Brenham and Houston areas for an on-field ceremony. Praise God for this awareness!

Have a safe weekend and God Bless You!
Angel Adam's Mom

Thursday, July 28, 2005 10:52 PM CDT

SHORT UPDATE FINALLY!

PROMISES FOR PARENTS
A baby is...
God's opinion that the world should go on.
---Carl Sandburg--

CURESEARCH NEWS
Our new V.P. of marketing has up hopping in Texas. Lots of events planned.
Tuesday, August 2
Interview with COX News, Houston, Texas
Will air on August the 7th (I think).
Wednesday, August 3
Dallas, Texas...Texas Rangers Baseball Game
Appearance for the big Jumbotron Screen that will be broadcast during the 4th inning. This is being coordinated with cancer patients from the Dallas area.
Tuesday, August 9
5:00-8:00 pm - Brenham Dolphins Swimathon Benefitting CureSearch, Brenham, Texas.
Special guest speaker will be Joann Ater from M.D. Anderson Hospital.
7:05 pm - A live on-field ceremony with cancer patients from Texas Children's Hospital and M.D. Anderson. We will have one of the children, along with his or her doctor, throw out the first pitch.

These are just some of the things taking place the next two weeks. There are more, dates to be determined. Praise God for all the publicity CureSearch/Childhood Cancer is generating in Texas. As more people begin to hear about CureSearch, perhaps more fundraisers will be held to help generate funds that will go directly to CureSearch for research of new drugs for childhood cancer.

HOMEFRONT NEWS
Gearing up for school...I guess. This week Andrew has been attending BYC (Brenham Youth Conference) which has been put on by our church every night this week from 6:00-10:00 pm. There are approximately 700, 7th - College age kids, attending this Christian event. Tim and I have been working with this also which has kept us very busy, but very rewarding. It's hard to believe Andrew is now in this age group.

Everyone have a wonderful weekend and God Bless You!
Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Thursday, July 21, 2005 10:39 PM CDT

Hello dear friends...busy...no chance to update.

PROMISES FOR PARENTS:
Young children love their parents better
than anything else. They are their
children's lifeline, their whole world.
--Anonymous

CURESEARCH NEWS:
It's official...Tuesday, August 9, 7:05 p.m. Houston Astros vs. Washington Nationals. This is the game that the Houston Astros will have an on-field ceremony prior to the game to recognize children with cancer. As Team Leaders for the State of Texas Tim, Andrew and myself will be representing CureSearch along with childhood cancer patients. This is part of the Major League Baseball's Commissioner's Initiative for Kids that will take place throughout the month of August. MLB is setting aside one million tickets to be sold at $1.00 per ticket for children to attend games throughout the country. The sale of the tickets will go to support CureSearch - National Childhood Cancer Foundation and the Boys and Girls Clubs. Praise God for this donation and awesome exposure!

This is also the same night that the Brenham Dolphins Swim Team is hosting a Swimathon that will be benefiting CureSearch. Wonderful events are taking place in Texas. Thank you Scott Hillman for initiating and organizing this event.

HOMEFRONT NEWS:
Things are really going pretty good. Andrew is not ready to start thinking about school;however, he has been getting up with me and walking 1 1/2 miles and riding the bike 3 miles. He is preparing for football. We are so excited about him playing. We are really looking forward to the games. That doesn't mean I understand it, but I can learn.

I take my mother to the Medical Center Tuesday for her checkup on her blood disorder. Pray for good results. She has not been on any medication for 6 months now and seems to be doing extremely well. Praise God!

God Bless You CaringBridge Family & Friends!
Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Friday, July 15, 2005 10:00 PM CDT

PRAISE GOD FOR THE RAIN IN TEXAS!

PROMISES FOR PARENTS SAYS:
It is impossible to overstate the need
for prayer in the fabric of family life.
--Dr. James Dobson

Andrew has returned home from camp, safe and sound, Praise God! He had an awesome time. He received "The Leader of the Pack" award for his group. I'll tell you one thing, I am not looking forward to the years ahead where he will be going more and more. The house is awfully quiet when he is away. Parents...give your children a great, big hug because they grow up too fast...and you never know how long you may have them.

CURESEARCH NEWS:
We have been busy on this end getting geared up to get Texas more involved. September is rapidly approaching and we will be working hard to promote awareness and fundraising. Major League Baseball is starting their incentive program in which CureSearch will be recognized at one of the Houston Astros games. We are working with the office in Maryland to coordinate some small ceremoney during a particular game. When we know the date, I will post it. If you live in Texas, WE NEED YOU. Log on to CURESEARCH and get involved. Let's make TEXAS stand out in the fight against childhood cancer. Plan an event in your community. If you need help visit the website for valuable information on fundraising. Tim and I will be happy to assist in any way possible or guide you.

PRAISE:
I have a praise...I received a uplifting posting from a parent whose child is utilizing the computers Adam's Angel Ministry donated to Texas Children's Hospital. It is so wonderful to know that the computer is "a bright moment" in the life of this child. Thank You. I will continue to pray for you. God Bless You!

Have a wonderful weekend my CaringBridge Family & Friends.
Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Monday, July 11, 2005 10:47 AM CDT

I TIMOTHY 6:17-19 SAYS:
Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. In this way they will layup treasures for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life.

This is WEALTH! Wealthy is only worldly when it becomes about money. Wealthy is the above...sharing what we do have to perform good deeds, expecting nothing in return.

WEEKEND NEWS:
Wow...the pageant, beautiful! Tara Gibson, Miss West Texas was the first runner up for Miss Texas. She did not win the title but will still reign as Miss West Texas and continue with her platform "childhood cancer". She has been working in this area already and is very eager to jump on board with us and help. God blessed us by getting to know Tara. What a wonderful, wholesome, beautiful, young lady. Once again, God placed her in our path for a reason.

Andrew left this morning for church camp. He will be away all week and is really looking forward to spending time in the word and being with his friends. This will be his last year...so they usually get to do some pretty awesome things.

CHILDHOOD CANCER NEWS:
A swimathon, August 9, 2005 - 5:00-8:00 pm, Blue Bell Aquatic Center, Brenham, Texas, is being organized by Scott Hillman, Brenham Dolphins Swim Team. The benefits will go to CureSearch. Anyone is welcome to swim. You do not have to be a marathon swimmer. For flyers, registration forms, etc. visit BRENHAM DOLPHINS SWIM TEAM.

God Bless You All!
Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Thursday, July 7, 2005 7:50 AM CDT

Hello Caringbridge Friends! In Texas...it is hot, hot, hot.

PROMISES FOR PARENTS SAYS:
There is no greater pleasure than bringing to the uncluttered,supple mind of a child the delight of knowing God and the many rich things He has given us to enjoy.
--Gladys M. Hunt

NEWS...
We will be traveling today...to Fort Worth, Texas. We have been invited as "special guests" by Miss Tara Gibson, Miss West Texas, to the MISS TEXAS PAGEANT. Tara was the young lady that accompanied us on our "Hill" visits in D.C. She is a RN pediatric oncologist at Cooks Children's Medical Center in Fort Worth, TX. Her platform is also "childhood cancer awareness"...PRAISE GOD. She sees the everyday life of a "child cancer patient". We are so excited for her and very pleased at what she is doing and willing to do for OUR CHILDREN. We will be attending Thursday through Saturday, with the crowning to be held Saturday night, Channel 2, 8:00 pm. Please be in prayer for Tara. God is in control!

Have a wonderful weekend and stay cool! God Bless you all.
Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Sunday, July 3, 2005 1:41 PM CDT

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY...AND A SAFE ONE TOO!

"PROMISES FOR PARENTS CALENDAR" SAYS:
AND ALL THY CHILDREN SHALL BE TAUGHT OF THE LORD;
AND GREAT SHALL BE THE PEACE OF THY CHILDREN.
--ISAIAH 54:13 KJV

My "Little Precious" knew the Lord...he really had that personal relationship with his sweet Jesus. I know now that the Lord definitely had his days numbered just as all ours are. Sometimes that is hard to grasp. But, I realize that when I look back on his short life and the things he accomplished, said, and did regarding "his sweet Jesus". He wanted everyone to come to know and love him the way he did. What peace he must have had and now what peace I have knowing he knew Jesus intimately.

A MAJOR STEPPING STONE:
Well, Andrew and I finally came to the conclusion that it was time to "do something" with Adam's room. Before we left for Washington D.C., we talked about it. We began going through some of his things. A stack to keep, a stack to donate, and a stack for the Faith Mission. He and I then went on a shopping trip and he picked out the decor (accessories), and color scheme. Upon our return, I shopped for curtains etc. by myself. On that day I went to Houston. I was listening to KSBJ (Christrian Radio Station). I must have heard everyone of Adam's favorite songs that day. After arriving, it seemed like every store I went to there was a reminder of Adam. Someone who helped me was even named Adam. This continued throughout the day. Upon driving home, again I was listening to KSBJ. A caller calls in and shares his testimony...his name was Adam. Wow! I know I received the confirmation I needed that day to go forth with changing his room. His spirit was telling me..."it's OK mom, you can change the room, I will be with you no matter what...the room has nothing to do with it, MY SPIRIT IS ALIVE, ALWAYS." When I returned home I met Tim and Andrew at the cemetery and shared my day. Thus, we all three had the confirmation we were waiting for to begin this transition. On Monday, to the paint store...which Andrew picked out. He wanted it completely different. This past week Tim painted the room and Andrew and I decorated it. Now, a new guest room. Has it bothered me you might ask? No. I have a real sense of peace about it. I received the confirmation I needed from Adam's spirt and God gave me the strength to carry through. Andrew even asked if he could be the first one to sleep in it. Wow...that is really huge for him.

STEPPING STONE NO. 2:
Adam's monument. All three of us are finally on the same page with it. Someone once told me it takes at least 2 yrs. to grasp the idea that "your child" is no longer on this earth. I believe that. It takes time to deal with reality, and life without them. You begin to learn to "cope" as they say...you never "get over it." So, this week we will try and narrow down the specifics and get that ordered. I think both of these things are giant "stepping stones" for our family. Thank you God for allowing us time to deal with all of this is our time.

COMPUTER PROBLEMS:
Just to let you know, I have not been able to pull up my guestbook from my computer...so if I do not respond, bear with me. I am having to use Tim's laptop, when available, to check the entries. CaringBridge is archieving some of my old entries and they have indicated that the graphics in the messages slow things down; however, mine is saying "not found". Wierd...on other computers, I can pull it up. Anyway, bear with me.

God Bless You All
Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Monday, June 27, 2005 11:37 PM CDT

YES, I AM GOING TO TRY TO UPDATE...so busy since returning from Washington D.C. Read these last few days from my "Promises for Parents" calendar.

...I prayed for this child, and the Lord answered my prayer
and gave him to me. --1 Samuel 1:27 NCV

...Parenthood is quite a long word. I expect it contains
the rest of my life. --Karen Scott Boates

...It's not what you THINK that influences your child;
it's what you COMMUNICATE. --Charles Stanley

...God hath His small interpreters; The child must teach
the man. --John Greenleaf Whittier

Are those just awesome or what. I so enjoy flipping the date to see what the quote is for the day. It really makes you think.

WASHINGTON D.C. TRIP TO CAPITOL HILL...get ready, this is long.
MONDAY, JUNE 13 - Welcome Reception...getting to know participants. Approximately 300 childhood cancer patients, families, health professionals and advocates from 31 states.
TUESDAY, JUNE 14 & WEDNESDAY JUNE 15 - Day began at 7 am ending around 8:30 pm. Multiple members of Congress addressed the crowd acknowledging their support for childhood cancer issues. Keynote speakers Tuesday and part of Wednesday included: Senator John Kerry (D-MA), Senator Jeff Sessions (R-AL), Senator Blanche Lincoln (D-AR), Congresswoman Deborah Pryce (R-OH), Congressman Patrick Kennedy (D-RI), Congressman Robert Menendez (D-NJ), and last but not least "our" representative Michael McCaul (R-TX). What an awesome speech he presented to our group. Everyone was so touched by his compassion.

A quote by McCaul....
"I applaud you all for it is my hope and goal to secure the necessary funding," said McCaul. "I am proud to be a part of this. I will be by your side. I will be a foot soldier and I will help you fight for this cause!" Wow! A pretty awesome statement. "A foot soldier"...to me those words were powerful and meaningful.

Bob DuPuy, President and Chief Operating Officer of Major League Baseball, spoke at the Congressional Reception Wednesday evening. Mr. DuPuy shared Major League Baseball's continued commitment and invited Congress to participate in the summer league-wide promotion to raise awareness and funds for childhood cancer research. Mr. DuPuy announced that the promotion, the Commissioner's Initiative for Kids that resulted from Tom Glavine's (NY Mets Pitcher)efforts last summer, will run from August 7 through September 5 and is expected to involve every major league team and raise over $1 million. Major League Baseball plans to make the public announcement during the All-Star Game Festivities in Detroit, July 8 - 12, 2005.

In addition, our official spokesperson, Miss America 2005, Deidre Downs was present during the entire Gold Ribbon Days. She was a keynote speaker and participated in the entire event by interacting with families and taking pictures with the children. She also met with 15 members of Congress to raise the awareness of childhood cancer and the need for increased federal funding to support the work of the Children's Oncology Group. Miss Downs is studying to to a Pediatric Oncology Doctor.

OUR CAPITOL HILL VISITS....
Were all on Wednesday, with the exception of one Thursday...approximately 13 beginning at 10 am and concluding at 4:30 pm. They were truly awesome. It was so wonderful to have already established the relationship with the Congressmen/Senators and their legislative staff. We were able to visit both our Senators from Texas. God was truly working in all the visits we made. We were very, very tired at the end of the last visit...but still had the congressional reception to attend that evening. Pretty awesome. In all, approximately 210 visits overall were made on "The Hill".

EXCITING NEWS:
Our Texas group was not just Tim, Andrew and myself this time. We had the following with us:
Joey, Christi, Breanna, & Luke Crow - Caddo Mills, TX
Leslie and Garret Webb - Brenham, TX....and
Tara Gibson - MISS WEST TEXAS, Fort Worth, TX (who by the way will be competing for Miss Texas on July 9th);
Bonnie Gibson (actually from Illinois...a gorgeous and awesome lady), Tara's mom.

Tara had the most wonderful personality, beautiful, and a platform of childhood cancer. She is an Pediatric Oncology RN for Cookes Children's Hospital in Fort Worth, Texas. What a "blessing" to have her share her story from her point of a nurse actually treating these children. She made all visits on Capitol Hill with us and basically hung around with us the entire time. We felt pretty touched. We have been invited to attend the Miss Texas Pageant by her and her family. Exciting!

The Crow's lost their 3 yr. old son Colt to cancer and were able to share their story of a long drawn out illness. The Webb's, Adam's best friend's family, shared their story of how it has affected their daughter...losing a best friend.

CLOSING...
JH Faske of our hometown, Brenham, Texas designed a special charm bracelet and earrings for Miss America from the State of Texas. Congressman McCaul presented the gifts to Miss Deidre Downs on behalf of the State of Texas for her efforts of "childhood cancer awareness and support". We also presented Congressman McCaul with a "gold ribbon" tie tack from our family for his continued support. A "gold lapel ribbon" was given to Tara Gibson, Miss West Texas for her support and efforts. All items were designed by our hometown jeweler, Jay Faske. Thank you Jay for your talent and giving heart. We love and appreciate everything all these people are doing for childhood cancer issues. God Bless Them!

Well, as you can see, I have rattled on and have not even covered all of it. Most importantly, they are starting to HEAR US AND UNDERSTAND US ON "THE HILL".

A PRAISE....
HOUSE RESOLUTION 323
TITLE: Supporting efforts to increase childhood cancer awareness, treatment, and research.
SPONSORED BY: Rep. Deborah Pryce (OH)
Introduced to Congress on June 15, 2005.
NOW...COSPONSORED BY: 41 additional representatives (4 from Texas)

PSALMS 86:10 SAYS:
FOR YOU ARE GREAT, AND DO MARVELOUS DEEDS; YOU ALONE ARE GOD!

I close with this...need I say anything further. This verse says it all. God Bless You!
Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Thursday, June 23, 2005 0:00 AM CDT

BRIEF UPDATE!
Read under the events...June 13-15, 2005, Gold Ribbon Days. This interview was taken by Congressman McCaul's Press Secretary. He circulated it in various newspapers in addition to featuring it in the Congressman's Newsletter. What great publicity for CureSearch! God is in this all the way!

My Promises for Parents calendar says:
FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS ARE THE PUREST,
CLEANEST, WHITEST SAND OF ALL.

Great "Food for Thought"! God Bless You.

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Tuesday, June 21, 2005 10:18 PM CDT

Hello CaringBridge Friends! We have returned to Texas after being gone 17 days. God blessed us with safe travels and lots of wonderful meetings, etc. on "The Hill" in Washington D.C. We met some truly wonderful people. I will share all our exciting news in my next update. I need to play "catch-up" on lots of things first. So many things are happening...it makes following up difficult. Thank you for your kinds prayers and thoughts while we were away.

My Promise for Parents calendar for today says....
Childhood is...
that wonderful time of life when all you
need to do to lose weight is to bathe.

Wow, isn't that cute and wouldn't it be nice for "us" adults.
God Bless You.
Alway,
Angel Adam's Mom

Friday, June 10, 2005 9:43 AM CDT

OK...it is extremely cloudy here in Destin, FL. We are packing up to leave for Mississippi...it's a good thing since the weather looks ugly. I guess the tropical depression is moving in.

Thank you caringbridge friends for checking in on us. It really means a lot to us. We had a wonderful email message from CureSearch yesterday. Our Congressman Michael McCaul is going to be one of the guest speakers at our 3 day meetings. We are so very excited for his interest, support, and participation. God is working. He put a good Christian man in office...a family man who understands the importance of funding for children's cancer research. Thank you Congressman McCaul.

Pray for safe travels for our next designation.

Angel Adam's Mom

Tuesday, June 7, 2005 9:41 AM CDT

Well, it's beautiful and sunny in Destin, Florida. However, the water is not "as beautiful" as usual. There is a lot of seaweed washing on the beaches. The hurricane last year took away lots of the beaches and repairs are still being made around here. As for us...we are doing great and relaxing. It's so nice not to have to worry about the "everyday" duties for awhile. Yes, no telephone calls are wonderful.

Andrew is having a great time. We have the Swope Family with us and they have a 2 yr. old and 5 yr. old, both boys. He is really enjoying them. It sort of gives him the feeling of being the "big responsible brother" again. Thank you Swopes for sharing time with us this week.

Have a wonderful time all my wonderful friends and Caringbridge Friends.

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Friday, June 3, 2005 11:07 PM CDT

Hello Caringbridge Friends...
Well, we have officially left for vacation. A week in Destin, Florida then on to Washington DC. We are spending the night in Baton Rouge LA and then continue our drive to Destin tomorrow. This is our week of rest, relaxation, and preparing ourselves for Gold Ribbon Days in Washington, DC. This year we know of three families from Texas (at the moment) that will be attending. We will not be representing Texas solo (yeah).

Pray for safety in our travels. We will be driving and flying some also. We are looking forward to time away. Thank you for always checking up on us. God Bless you wonderful people.

Angel Adam's Mom

Sunday, May 29, 2005 2:47 PM CDT

Hello Everyone! Wow, where has the week gone. Summer has begun and it is zooming right on past me.

I mentioned in my last update that we had some exciting news regarding CureSearch. Last Saturday, we received a wonderful letter from our Congressman Michael T. McCaul (10th District). He thanked us for our continued advocacy work toward childhood cancer and informed us of two things:

(1) He submitted an allocation request to CureSearch for $2.5 million for Fiscal Year 2006; and
(2) He signed as a co-sponsor on the bill, H.R. 963, The Children's Compassionate Care Act of 2005. This bill was introduced by Representative Deborah Pryce (R-OH). It would provide grants to children's hospitals, hospices, and home health agencies to better train and educate professionals who care for sick children. Grants will also be available to start and expand pediatric palliative care programs to provide better care options for children and their families and much needed reforms to the palliative care system with the goal of improving the care children with life-threantening illnesses receive.

For those of you who may not have followed our advocacy work in Washington, D.C., this is one of the big pushes. We each spend time on Capitol Hill telling our stories of how "childhood cancer" consumed our lives. Of course, ours was only very short, but unbelieveable to officials on the hill. Our goal as team leaders is to reach our elected officials and make them understand that it too could happen to them in the blink of an eye. More importantly, that there isn't enough funding for families who go through life-threatening diseases. A family can be torn apart, wiped out financially, and never recover. There just has to be more funding from the government for these situations. What does this mean? Our Congressman is behind us on the bill, he will help push it to law. Now, in turn, as a co-sponsor of the bill, we want him to get as many of his colleagues as possible to sign on also. This will make it very clear the important and need for this bill.

Right now we say PRAISE GOD! Maybe our voices are being heard on Capitol Hill. We, as parents, are the voices for our children. It is our job to take our stories to "the Hill" so that more officials become aware of the need for funding toward "childhood" issues and not just adult issues. We thank Congressman McCaul for listening to us and taking the message to his colleagues to do what can be done to help fund cancer research. We feel so blessed to have such a good Christian, family man, representing us in Congress. God gave us such a strong and good feeling about this man while he was running for the office. God led us in our decision to put him in office and we know God is leading us right now, every step of the way. We know this is only the tip of the iceberg, but it is a start. We just have to keep pushing and getting more people on Capitol Hill in June.

We know it is hard for some to make a trip to Washington D.C., but there are other ways to help. If your family has been impacted by "childhood cancer" or you are close to someone who has, you can help by sending a message over the computer to CureSearch, who in turn will take the message to "Capitol Hill". Click here and join in the MILLION MESSAGE MARCH. You too can make a difference.

Well, as far as us, we are actully doing great. Getting some well needed rest. I was under the weather a little and had to go get a "shot" and a few meds...feeling much better. I'd better close for now. Thank you for always checking on our family. Angel families need you too!
Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Monday, May 23, 2005 9:04 AM CDT

Summer has officially arrived in Texas! HOT, HOT, HOT!

Well, we made it through all the graduation festivities and end of school party. Now, we are what you call "in the relaxed mode". Friday, Andrew and I did had a date...shopping and dinner that is. He loves to put together models, so that's what we were on a mission for. In addition, he is ready to change Adam's room. He helped pick out new decor for that. He has approached the time that he is ready to slowly start going through some of his things. Some he wants to store away and keep, others he will give to children's hospitals, or orphanages. I thank God everyday for his wonderful strength in dealing with the loss.

Nothing much has been happening thank God for that. We did receive a letter from Congressman Michael McCaul with some exciting news on Capitol Hill. I will share it after I am able to share it with CureSearch. Praise God!

Hope everyone has a wonderful start to their summer vacation. I know some of you are still in school...for now.

My PROMISES FOR PARENTS says:
The potential possibilities of any child
are the most intriguing and stimulating
in all creation.

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Tuesday, May 17, 2005 11:09 PM CDT

What a bittersweet day...another chapter in Andrew's life closed. Sixth Grade Graduation was this evening. The cememony was beautiful...the girls surprised everyone by closing with "Lean on Me", with the boys joining in later. It was truly touching. What an awesome group of boys and girls this 6th grade class is. Now, another chapter, new beginnings. I know Andrew is ready...well grounded, praise God! Each student was asked to write what "faith, family and friends" meant to them...Andrew writes:
To me..."faith, family and friends"
are my HOPE in times of worry and
my TRUST in times of need.
Without these three things my life would be incomplete
and I would not be able to live a good Christian life.

I am so very proud of Andrew. I know Adam was not able to be with us physically, but his little spirit was all around us this evening. Thank you Adam for letting your brother know your spirit is alive forever!

Tonight I also had the opportunity to meet the mother of a young man (19 yrs. old) who was diagnosed with cancer in January of this year. She actually approached me and said she felt like we were destine to meet. There too, God was making his presence known. When things like this happen, it confirms what we are doing is right. Sometimes it gets hard to carry on. We find there are days you want to give up...then "a meeting", confirmation! Thank you God!

Well, the next two days for us are busy with "school down time". Tomorrow Tim and I will celebrate 14 yrs. of marriage. Wow! We plan to spend the day together, just having "fun". Tim and I started as friends...for almost1-1/2 yrs. Today, when life gets hard, we always reflect back on the "friendship", our beginning, our constant. Thank you God for giving me this wonderful man, friend, lover, husband, and father of my boys to know, love, and grow old with. I love you Tim, more today than the day we married! TOGETHER FOREVER!

Have a wonderful day. My "Promises for Parents" calendar says:
EVEN A CHILD IS KNOWN BY HIS DOINGS,
WHETHER HIS WORK BE PURE,
AND WHETHER IT BE RIGHT.
...Proverbs 20:11 KJV...

Adam had that Bible verse memorized...it's as if I can hear him saying it right now. Love you "little precious".

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Thursday, May 12, 2005 9:56 PM CDT

Wow, another week has flown past me. We have been so busy with all of Andrew's end of school graduation events (6th grade). Tomorrow we have a breakfast which will be exciting. All the teachers from previous years will be there and will share thoughts about them. We have also been busy preparing for church camp, vacation bible school, and a meal fundraiser. Lots of exciting things happening right now...that time of year.

Yesterday was the 2 yr. anniversary date of my dad joining Adam in heaven. I can remember him being ready to go and excited about it. About 10 days prior, he had told me his dream about seeing Adam all dressed in white, sitting on the edge of his bed, smiling, and motioning with his hand for papaw to come. Papaw and Adam were close, great buddies. Now they are together forever...makes me happy.

Today my Promises for Parents says:
WHEN YOU SEE GOD FACE TO FACE,
HE'S NOT GOING TO HOLD YOU ACCOUNTABLE
FOR THE ENTIRE WORLD. BUT HE WILL HOLD
YOU ACCOUNTABLE FOR WHAT WAS
ENTRUSTED TO YOU.

Have a wonderful weekend and God Bless You All.
Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Monday, May 9, 2005 10:40 PM CDT

Well, hope Mother's Day was "wonderful" for all. Our shopping "marathon" on Friday was great...just what we needed. I have to share something special with you. While shopping Friday, Andrew was walking down the mall holding my hand. (I so love that!) This lady walks up to me and asked me if I was paying him. She sort of caught me off guard. My reply was "excuse me, what is it you are asking"? She replied...well I have a son that same age and he would not be caught with me in a mall, shopping, much less holding my hand. I just smiled and said "I am truly blessed with a wonderful, loving son". Gosh, I know I was floating on air the rest of the day.

Sunday was quiet and calm, Praise God! The weather...well that was another story. Pouring down rain, but that's OK. We just spent good quality time as a family with some friends. Thank you Swope Family for sharing this day with our family!

Busy this week preparing for Andrew's 6th Grade Gradution events. It's hard to believe he will be entering Junior High already...soon to be a teenager.

Have a wonderful week! God Bless You!
My "Promises for Parents" calender...for tomorrow says:
IT IS A GLORIOUS EXPERIENCE
TO HAVE AND TO KNOW CHILDREN.
THE RISKS OF PARENTHOOD
ARE WELL WORTH TAKING.

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Friday, May 6, 2005 9:05 AM CDT

HAPPY MOTHER DAY TO ALL MY CARINGBRIGE FAMILY & FRIENDS!

My "Promies for Parents" says:
I have found the happiness of parenthood greater
than any other that I have experienced.

Isn't that true and beautiful. Once you become a parent it is so hard to imagine life without children. They are truly the greatest gift God has ever given me. I am so fortunate to have been able to be entrusted with such precious children. God is Good!

Andrew and I are going to spend the day together with my mother. Before Adam died that is what we always did the Friday before Mother's Day. The first year after his death, my dad died on Mother's Day and I had been caring for him 2 weeks straight and didn't get to share that time with her and Andrew. Last year was really my first year to even be able to think about Mother's Day and all I did was cry. This year I am going to try and do much better (help me Dear Lord).

Remember "your mother" and all the wonderful mothers in this world, and those who have left for their eternal home. Have a blessed Mother's Day!
MOTHERS ARE A JEWEL!

Proverbs 29:17 AMF
CORRECT YOUR SON, AND HE WILL GIVE YOU REST;
YES, HE WILL GIVE DELIGHT TO YOUR HEART.

Angel Adam's Mom

Monday, May 2, 2005 10:44 PM CDT

Hello All!

Wow, where did the weekend go? We had some pretty interesting weather in Texas on Saturday...hail. Later that day...sunshine.

Our District 10, Congressman Michael McCaul, opened an office in Brenham today. We are so very excited about having such a wonderful family man represent our district. We had the opportunity to visit with him once again. Thank you Congreeman McCaul for your sincere interest in our advocacy work with CureSearch. We know that God placed this man in office, in our district, for a reason. What an outstanding legislative staff we have to work with also. We are very excited about what God may have in store for us in working with the Congressman and his staff.

The Washington D.C. trip will be here before we know it. We are very excited about it this year. FAMILIES FROM TEXAS HAVE REGISTERED...YES! The word is spreading and this means we will have to work harder to increase that number each year. Please go to CURESEARCH-GOLD RIBBON DAYS to find out more about registering to make a difference in Washington D.C.

God is in control, we know that. We just have to be obedient and follow his plan. Have a wonderful day. God Bless You!

PROVERBS 22:6 KJV
TRAIN UP A CHILD IN THE WAY HE SHOULD GO:
AND WHEN HE IS OLD,
HE WILL NOT DEPART FROM IT.

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Thursday, April 28, 2005 11:09 PM CDT

Hello all...hope you are having wonderful weather wherever you are. Texas has been great...slightly cool in the morning and comfortable in the afternoon.

Well, pretty much a "normal" week in my "normal" life. Andrew missed school Monday, went to the doctor...ear infection. Tuesday I sent him to school, against my better judgment, and lo and behold if he didn't come home feeling "blah". By 10 pm that evening he became ill. I know this is "normal" but as you know, "normal" is not "normal" in our lives. He began throwing up continuoulsy for about 2 hrs., then every 30 minutes thereafter, and severe stomach pains. (Too familiar.) By 3:30 am, after not even keeping phenegran down, I decide to take a "normal" trip to the ER. Of course, he was terribly dehydrated...given an IV with 2 liters of fluid, phenegran, and rocephin. His white blood count was up (expected with infections) and his gluscose level was elevated. Back home around 6:30 am, at which time he throws up again (is this considered "normal"). Anyway he finally gets to sleep and is out till pretty much 4:30 pm, runs fever, eats a little, back to sleep till morning. Today he was pretty much OK, but weak, which is expected. Praise God that he may be back to "somewhat normal". We are to follow up with complete blood work next week. I know this happens in "normal" life, but Adam was diagnosed with a "normal" stomach virus, Norwalk virus, and 4 hrs. later goes into a coma and is placed on life support, dying 4 days later. So, you see, I do tend to PANIC a little. Yeah, this was considered "normal" right? When you figure out "normal" from "panic", let me know. Yes, to top it off, Tim was out of town. I handled it OK with the God's help. Praise Him!

Thanks for keeping up with Adam's site. I know those of you who come here come because you care. No one forces you to read these journals. You are truly concerned and it allows you an opportunity to experience a piece of what an "Angel" mom goes through. This site is a wonderful way to express my feelings. Grief has its up and downs. It is a "wild" roller coaster ride with some joys and a mess of sorrows. This site also allows me the opportunity to share with others the things that one can do to help "other cancer children". My involvment with CureSearch and raising awarenss and funds is a healing process which at the same time benefits other childrem. I pray everyday for those poor little ones that have to suffer from the demon "childhood cancer". My Adam was spared the pain so I feel it is my job to reach out and help others. Sometimes people just simply look for the negative in things or try to knock you down. If I let that happen, I would be in a hole today...buried. I simply look at these things as a "cry" or a way to "vent". We all have to do it sometimes and it's ok when it's not aimed at anyone or attacking. Life is too short to attack back. My little Adam's short life is proof of that. My choice is take that negative and turn it into a posiive.

Have a wonderful weekend! God Bless You All.

JAMES 1:2-4 NKJV
My brethren, count it all joy
when you fall into various trials,
knowing that the testing of your faith
produces patience.
But let patience have its perfect work,
that you my be perect and complete, lacking nothing.

Angel Adam's Mom

P.S. Received another unexpected donation to CureSearch ($553.50) from the National Honor Society - Brenham High School. Thank you Coach Steve Puckett!

MONDAY, APRIL 25, 2005 10:41 PM CST

PROVERBS 16:24 SAYS:
Pleasant words are a honeycomb,
sweet to the soul and healing
to the bones.

Thank you dear CaringBridge Friends who visit my son's site regularly and leave uplifting, pleasant words. As the Bible verse above says they are healing to the bones. I know the sincerity of your words and I feel them. Thank you! Perhaps others may sometimes come troubled, that's ok, at least you found your way. God Bless You All!

Today my "Promises for Parents" says:
WHAT A MOTHER SINGS TO THE CRADLE
GOES ALL THE WAY TO THE COFFIN.
This is so true for me...the songs I sang to my son's cradle I sang to his coffin and still do everyday at his gravesite.

SUNDAY, APRIL 24, 2005 9:41 CST
UPDATE...an ok weekend!
Yesterday two of Adam's dear friends (Hadley & Kyler) had their 7 yr. old birthday parties together. The last party Adam had (his 4th) was with these two. They all three had it together and had the children donate books in their names to our school library. Tim and Andrew went because Andrew was actually helping watch the kids on the playground. I chose to go later. I knew I could not handle the singing "happy birthday" part. Later that evening Andrew told me that he was fine up until they sang happy birthday. The first one to Kyler, the second to Hadley. It was then, he said, his heart quivered...there should be a third happy birthday to Adam. Dear God, I know his heart aches for his brother, but at the same time he knows he is joyful celebrating in heaven with "his Sweet Jesus".

This afternoon our Sunday School Class had a family barbecue at our leaders ranch home. Satan made his appearance and was trying to work hard on breaking up the fellowship. There were probably 40 adults and 20 children. The first event, a young lady busted her eye open, riding in a mule. She had to go to the ER. After talking to her mother, praise God, it looked worse than what it was. The cut was in the eyebrow and required 8 stitches. She just has a pretty bad headache.

Second event, my son. He was driving the go cart with a friend, slow thank God. All of a sudden the grass was high and the cart just seemed to go off into a hole. The next thing you know the drivers side was literally in the hole with the back of the cart in the air. They jumped out and pulled the cart backwards. After calling for help, the adults realized that the front had fallen off into what looked like an old abandoned well that was grown up with grass. It was pretty scarey and could have been bad. They were very lucky. Angel Adam, thank you for watching over your brother and keeping him safe.

These events happend within 10 minutes of each other. Ironically, both our families have experienced lots of hardships in the past few years and have both experienced "the demon...childhood cancer". I wanted to shout...devil get away from us. It's at times like this when you wonder "why" do bad things keep happening. They say that Satan attacks when you are your strongest with the Lord. I pray this is true because right now I feel pretty weak. Keep praying!

Today my "Promises for Parents" says:
GOD INVENTED PARENTHOOD.
HE IS FOR US. HE IS FOR EACH OF OUR CHILDREN.
HE IS CHAMPION OF THEIR LIVES, THEIR YEARS,
THEIR HEALTH, THEIR CALLING, AND THEIR
ETERNAL DESTINY.

God Bless each of you and I pray that you have a wonderful week. Thank you God for protecting our children today.

Angel Adam's Mom

Wednesday, April 20, 2005 10:48 PM CDT

Wow, I can't believe tomorrow is Thursday already. Where did the week go?

Well, after my "crying episode" on Sunday...I got much better. Sometimes it does my heart a world of good to just cry. Monday really helped perk me up. Four of my girlfriends and I went on a shopping expedition after dropping our kids off for school. It did me a lot of good to get away with friends and laugh after my horrible Sunday. Thank God for placing such wonderful, true, dear friends in my life. They really help me when I am feeling low. Thank you "CaringBridge Friends" for your encouraging words.

Promises for Parents says:
JESUS SAID,
" I TELL YOU THE TRUTH,
YOU MUST CHANGE AND BECOME
LIKE LITTLE CHILDREN.
OTHERWISE, YOU WILL NEVER ENTER
THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN."
--Matthew 18:3 NCV

Angel Adam's Mom

Sunday, April 17, 2005 10:55 PM CDT

Well it's Sunday...church...and yes I lost it in church again this morning!

I thought I was prepared and having a fairly smooth morning. Made it through Sunday School and most of the church service. Today was a very special day in the life of a little girl, Hadley. Hadley was Adam's very dearest friend. They were inseparatable from the time they were about 6 months old until the day he became an angel. Today my heart still aches for the empty feeling she has. She is so very lost without him.

You see, Hadley accepted Jesus to live within her heart this weekend. I knew about it because her mother and I were together most of the weekend working on CureSearch. I did not know whether she would go forth on Sunday or not. Well, she did. Just before she went down to the front to talk with Brother Steve, one of Adam's favorite songs was played. Of course, the tears began to flow. I sort of sucked it up and tried to move on. Once Hadley went down, I started all over again...even harder. Andrew was sitting on the opposite side of the church and he could hear it and knew it was me. Then, to top it off, once the music stopped it was total silence, except my cries. Brother Steve began to talk. He introduced Hadley and shared the joy with the congregation. He paused for a moment and then said that he also noticed something special in the bulletin that he wanted to share with everyone...you see Hadley's 7th birthday is Tuesday and she put flowers in church in memory of Adam's 7th birthday which was last week, for her birthday. That's about how close they were...parties together, etc. Brother Steve announced this and in turn mentioned how he knew that was her best buddy and how proud Adam was right at this very moment knowing that she had accepted Jesus into her heart. He continued by saying that he knew Adam was smiling down at her. Oh my dear Lord...I completely fell apart...crying, snot running down my nose, my body shaking. I had to sit down. I wanted to dash out the door but couldn't. I felt so bad that I was crying when I should have been sharing in her happiness. I remained seated until everyone had congratulated her. Then, I proceeded forward to hug her dad (Tim), he too was bawling. I hugged Hadley and told her how very proud I was of her and I knew Adam had a big smile on his face at this very moment. She just smiled and said "I know". God I needed to hear that. As I hugged her mom (Leslie), she was crying as hard as I was. They both told me they could not keep themselves together after Brother Steve said what he said. It was OK though, because most of the eyes leaving had cried too.

But, one thing for sure..."my little precious" is smiling today knowing that his Hadley accepted Jesus into her heart. He doesn't have to accept Jesus because he is sitting beside him. What made it so hard was the fact that I knew whenever they would have accepted Jesus...it would have been together. Adam would have walked right beside her. He may not have walked beside her today, but his spirit was definitely all over that church.

As hard as the whole church service was, through it all I am so very happy it did. Brother Steve saying what he did makes me know that people do still think about Adam and they remember. It makes me feel good when people do mention his name and are not afraid too. Thank you Brother Steve for allowing Adam's spirit to share with our family, Hadley, and her family in this very special day. I will always remember this day.

Today dear God I pray...

PHILIPPIANS 3:20 NKJV
FOR OUR CITIZENSHIP IS IN HEAVEN, FROM WHICH WE ALSO
EARGERLY WAIT FOR THE SAVIOR, THE LORD JESUS CHRIST.

God Bless You!
Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Thursday, April 14, 2005 11:08 PM CDT

Hello CaringBridge Friends!

Have you had one of those days that all you did was "talk on the phone"? Well, that was mine. Anyone that knows me knows I do not like the phone and they get my "dear old answering machine" quite a bit these past 2 yrs. I had two telephone conference calls with CureSearch / Coaches Curing Kids Cancer. We are gearing up for "Gold Ribbon Days" in Washington D.C., June 13 - 15. If you are reading this log on to CureSearch and think about going or at least becoming an advocate in your area.

We have a busy weekend planned again. We will have our CureSearch /Coach Curing Kids Cancer booth set up in Burton Texas at the Cotton Gin Festival all weekend....3 days. Last weekend was so successful. We had lots of exposure and were able to spread the awareness. Also, $1,400 was raised by selling the "Green Wristbands". If you do not have one yet, log on and get one. We also had approximately 6 childhood cancer warriors or heroes stop by our booth. Dear God...bless them and continue to heal their bodies.

Tonight I had a conversation with a gentleman whom I have never had the opportunity to meet, but hope to soon. If you are reading this...thank you for calling and sharing "the truth". You could have ignored my letter, but you didn't. I truly believe that two years ago we crossed paths for a reason. I believed it then, and now moreso than ever. It was all in God's plan...little did we know it would be through a "dog". You must know that I am not ordinarily a "very patient" person; however, since Adam's death, that too has changed. Life is too short. I know and trust that God has allowed our paths to cross for the sole purpose of "helping these childhood cancer" patients. You have a heart for it, you've done it before, and I feel you will soon be uniting with Adam's Angels Ministry and CureSearch to help "REACH THE DAY". I just want to say "thank you".

Well, I'll close for now. God Bless all of you. My Promies for Parents todays says:
HE HIMSELF GIVE LIFE AND BREATH
TO EVERYTHING AND SATISFIES
EVERY NEED THERE IS.
--Acts 17:25 TLB

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Monday, April 11, 2005 11:56 PM CDT

"PROMIES FOR PARENTS" calendar says:

CHILDREN SPELL LOVE "T-I-M-E."---Anonymous

This is so very true. All our children ever want is our time and our time is our love to them. I can remember Adam...when he wanted my attention, he would literally take his little hands and hold my face and say "I want to look into your eyes". He knew then I was giving him my undivided attention. Parents, that time is so valuable. They grow up so fast and you never know when the good Lord may call for them back. He gave them to us as a precious gift to love. But, they are never really ours, they are his children and are simply on loan to us. Take it from "an angel mother"....TIME IS SO PRECIOUS. Time is something we can never get back.

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Friday, April 8, 2005 8:51 AM CDT

HAPPY BIRTHDAY "LITTLE PRECIOUS"! SEVEN IN HEAVEN!

"As I awoke today, before my feet even hit the ground, my first thoughts were of you. I laid there in the bed for just a bit before I scurried into the kitchen to make cinnamon rolls for Andrew's breakfast. My thoughts were not sad...about you not having an "earthly birthday". My thoughts were happy about the awesome "heavenly birthday party" you must be having. I began to think about how you used to sing happy birthday and then at the very end you would always sing "Happy Birthday Jeses". You did that all the time for everyone's birthday. I actually smiled. Now, my "little precous" you are singing it WITH YOUR SWEET JESUS. HOW AWESOME THAT MUST BE. How "delighted" you must be. I know you think of us, but you know that it will only be like the blink of an eye before we join you in our eteranl home. No one can ever separate us then.

Of course, as I entered the kitchen and became involved in the "earthly duties" the sadness entered by body. I prepared the breakfast thinking how you would have been so excited. I wanted to shake my body and literally crawl back under the covers so I could continue with my "heavenly thoughts". Once Andrew and Dad entered the kitchen and breakfast was on the table...sadness hit hard for all of us. The first thing we all thought about was "not having you, Adam, here for your birthday". We prayed and asked God to guide us through the day. We followed by singing happy birthday to you, Adam. We just had to. Dad and I were both crying and I looked over at Andrew and he just had a smile on his face, as if he knew you were happy. Through the eyes of a babe, they say."

Today, at 11:11 am was when Adam actually came into this world with a big old grin on his face. Hands up like he was ready for the big old world. Tim and I plan to go to the cemetery and release some balloons for him. The donation to Texas Children's Hospital/Cancer Center on Monday was all in memory of his birtday. Today we chose to be a little private. It is hard to believe this is the third birthday without Adam on this earth. Next year we will have had as many on earth as in heaaven. After our quiet time at the cemetery, we will then join Andrew for lunch as his 6th grade class will walk downtown for a special lunch at the Italian Restaurant. One of his classmates father owns it, so he is preparing a special lunch for them today. We want to share a special day with Andrew also. We may not have Adam on this earth to celebrate with, but we know he would want us to "be happy" as he always said. A line from a poem I keep on my refrigerator says:

JUST FOR TODAY I WILL HONOR MY CHILD'S MEMORY BY DOING SOMETHING WITH ANOTHER CHILD, BE IT MY OWN, OR SOME ELSE'S BECAUSE I KNOW THAT WOULD MAKE MY CHILD PROUD.

Everyday I read this poem and today I will fulfill this verse.

This evening Andrew indicated he wanted to go out to eat to one of Adam's favorite places...which would be "Chick-a-Filet", which means driving to College Station for us. If this makes him happy, then so be it, it shall be done. He will decide when he gets out of school.

I thank all my friends and CaringBridge friends for thinking of us and praying for us today. God is my stronghold in the days ahead, but you are also always there to uplift me. Thank You.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY "LITTLE PRECIOUS"
Angel Adam's Mom

Wednesday, April 6, 2005 10:38 PM CDT

My "Promises for Parents" for today says:
CHILDREN ARE A BRIDGE TO HEAVEN!

Beautiful and true. I know my Adam is the bridge to heaven for me. I have done pretty well thus far with his upcoming birthday, until this evening. I have finally slowed down long enough to think...and that's when it happens. I was making a flower arrangement for his gravesite and gathering all the things we have to place there and the tears began to fall. Dear Lord...please be with me tomorow and Friday. I know Adam is excited about "his celebration in heaven".

Tuesday, April 5, 2005 11:38 PM CDT

WONDERFUL UPDATE!

PRAISE GOD...FOR HE IS GOOD! Yes, our ministry has been so blessed to have so many people wanting to help or do things. As I said in my previous update, Tim, Andrew, and me along with the Roehling Family went to Texas Children's Hospital in Houston Texas yesterday. The pre-school classes at First Baptist Church School (Adam's school), have been collecting gently used or new VCR Children's Movies over the past month through our ministry "Adam's Angels Ministry". Also, they each gave a monetary donation which was used to 3 purchase wagons and a Cozy Coupe II Car, (one of Adam's favorite). Yesterday afternoon we presented 2 wagons, the car, and 135 tapes to Lisa Hereford at Texas Children's Hospital/Cancer Center. The 3rd wagon will be delivered later along with other items. These items will be placed on various floors throughout the hospital. There never seems to be enough for the children who are not so terribly sick, but are confined to the hosptial for long periods of time.

Also, we were able to present 5 computers and a printer to the hospital which was donated to our ministry by Outlet Computer. Thank you! These will be set up in a resource room for families who have lengthly stays in the hospital. It will allow them to have access to this wonderful CaringBridge Website. Our ministry will also help them set up websites if necessary. This is an awesome way to commute with family and develop a wonderful support team.

All these donations were made in memory of Adam. We chose to make this his "seventh birthday celebration" this year. He would have loved to do this himself...but God had other plans...so we have carried them out in his memory. We will have a private balloon release at the cemetery on Friday to honor his birthday. He is having the ultimate celebration in heaven...everyday. He doesn't need an earthly birthday anymore.

God Bless all of you and keep our family in your prayers as we approach Adam's birthdate.

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Sunday, April 3, 2005 10:42 PM CDT

SPRING FORWARD....UPDATE!

The time change is...oh so hard! Things have been busy on the homefront. Andrew competed in the school's UIL Bible Drill (for private schools) event this past Friday. He placed 3rd place. We are very proud of him.

Saturday, Leslie Webb and I, had our booth set up at the Opening Day of Little League Baseball in Brenham. We had all the information available regarding the new "Coaches Curing Kids Cancer" program...busy day. Most of the team moms stopped by and inquired about the program. It seems to be very hard for people to approach our table and this subject...but God will lead them. The following is the article that was in our local paper:
PROGRAM RECOGNIZES COACHES, BENEFITS CANCER RESEARCH

We thank God and our local paper for the publicity received on this program. We know the hearts of our community and we feel this will be a successful program in our local area. Praise God!

Tomorrow Tim, Andrew, myself and the Roehling Family will be traveling to Texas Children's Hospital in Houston, Texas. We will be presenting several donations on behalf of Adam's Angels Ministry, from First Baptist Church School children and another company who has been so generous in donating computers. Our ministry has been so blessed in only a yr. of existence. God has placed such wonderful, generous, loving and caring people in our paths so that through this ministry we can give back to children.

Details on donations to follow after presntation made tomorrow. This will be in memory of Adam's 7th birthday which would be on Friday, the 8th. He will be so happy knowing these donations will make a sick child smile.

God Bless You!
Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Monday, March 28, 2005 11:55 AM CST

OK...was it Easter or Christmas yesterday?

Don't know about the rest of my CaringBridge friends but it was pretty cold in Texas. Sort of a gloomy day and very windy. We went to church and Brother Steve delivered a wonderful message on HOPE. Yes, I cried. It reminded me of Adam and the "hope" we live with of being with him one day for eternity. We visited the cemetery twice and everything was blown everywhere. That made it depressing. We went to my mom's (Goo-Goo) in the afternoon and of course, she hid the eggs for Andrew like she always does. He didn't really want to but she insisted and he wanted to make her happy. She even put a Easter nest on Adam's grave, just she would have had he been here. She talked about Adam most of the afternoon and brought out things that she had kept that her and him had made or did together. It really made me cry. Adam and Goo-Goo had such special times together and she is so sad without him. Andrew spends lots of time with her, which he always has but even moreso now because he knows it helps to cheer her up. He will be lost when something happens to her. Later that evening we went to "The Webb's", Adam's little girlfriend, and our dear friends. They too were a little down that day.

God was with us and carried us through another one of those "special days without Adam". Thank you dear Lord!

Today my "Promies for Parents" reads:
JESUS SAID, "LET THE LITTLE CHILDREN COME TO ME.
DON'T STOP THEM, BECAUSE THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN
BELONGS TO PEOPLE WHO ARE LIKE THESE CHILDREN".
---Matthew 19:14 NCV

This is so very true. We could not stop them if we wanted to. I know Adam wanted to be with "HIS SWEET JESUS". We miss you "little precious".

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Wednesday, March 23, 2005 11:23 PM CST

Today my "Promises for Parents" says:
WE BROUGHT NOTHING INTO THE WORLD, SO WE CAN TAKE NOTHING OUT.
I TIMOTHY 6-7 NCV

As I read this, it is so very true. Sometimes I find myself saying Adam didn't get to ride a bike without training wheels, wear some of his new Christmas clothes, or even play with some of this toys. How silly of me. Did he really need to? NO! The verse above says it all. It does not matter. It is my human side that gets caught up in the material things. He had what he needed, the love of God in this little heart.

Wow, what an awesome trip to Atlanta, Georgia! My very dear friend, Leslie Webb and I attended the official Kick-Off Meeting for a new program with CureSearch titled COACHES CURING KIDS CANCER. (Vist the link referenced at the top of this website for more information.) This program started in Atlanta, Georgia as "Coaching for the Cure", and within 3 months it exploded into something so big that the Owens Family contacted CureSearch about assisting and taking it nationally. Here we are, on the committee to help launch it in our area and across Texas. We also toured the Aflac Cancer Center. It was so wonderful and kid friendly. What a wonderful opporunity to have such terrific places available to take our children. On the journey through the cancer center, we started and concluded just like a kid with cancer would have to experience. It did get tough. I really choked up and cried. Adam never experienced this part of "the kid cancer world". Part of me was sad because it meant he had less time with us. But, the other part said "Praise God", he did not have to suffer with transfusions, needles, etc. My heart truly went out to the parents who do have to watch their child endure the days in outpatient clinic. God Bless You.

Leslie and I will be busy preparing for a presentation that she would like to present to our community for "Opening Day" of baseball, which is April 2. Pray that all goes well and that everyone will see that this program is an awesome way to "help kids fight cancer". A way where "kids can help kids" and "families can help families".

May I say God Bless You all. Rejoicing with you this Easter!

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Thursday, March 17, 2005 11:25 PM CST

HAPPY SPRING BREAK TO THOSE WHO ARE OUT OF SCHOOL!

Yes, we do have Spring Break. Sort of feels like a winter break with the drop in temperature. Andrew and I had a date on Monday. The two of us spent the day together, shopping in The Woodlands and had lunch at The Cheesecake Factory. It was so much fun to spend the one-on-one with him. I know the day will come when I won't have that so I cherish every moment of it when the opportunity arises.

The three of us spent Tuesday through Thursday in Dallas, Texas. Part of the time was "play and fun" and part CureSearch, and Adam's Angels Ministry business. We really had fun and were productive at the same time. We picked up some computers that were so graciously donated to Adam's Angels Ministry. These will be placed at Texas Children's Hospital in Houston, Texas for cancer patient families to utilize. We want the families to be able to have access to this wonderful "CaringBridge" site. More details on this at a later date. We also had the pleasure of meeting the Crow Family from Caddo Mills, Texas. They lost their 3 1/2 yr. old, Joey, in December to cancer. They currently do not have a CaringBridge website, so I am not able to leave it here for you to visit. What a truly wonderful family. They are considering the possibility of joining us for "Gold Ribbon Days" in Washington D.C. We need for more Texas families to represent this "big" state on Capitol Hill. It is very misfortunate that any family has to endure cancer in their children, but we need you...all of you. Families like ours, the Crow's, and yours are what will impact our Representatives and Senators. True, actual stories, and life experiences from families are very powerful. Yes, it is very hard. I will be the first to admit that, but if it can make a difference in the life of a child, I will do it a hundred times over.

God Bless all the families that are experiencing this disease, and those who have lost their precious children to cancer. Both these families lives will never be the same again. We need more voices on Capitol Hill. The problem is "our children do not have a voice". It is very hard for them to walk the steps of Capitol Hill and ask for funding. As parents, we have to be THEIR VOICE. Log on to CURESEARCH and become an advocate today. Help us "Reach the Day" when no child has to suffer from this demon.

God bless you my CaringBridge family and friends. I hope you have a wonderful weekend. My girlfriend and I will be flying to Atlanta, Georgia this Sunday to attend a new program with CureSearch called "Coaching for the Cure". Pray for a safe and successful trip.

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Friday, March 11, 2005 10:31 PM CST

SUNSHINE TODAY! PRAISE GOD!
It was a beautiful day. I went out in my yard and worked in the flower beds. To be perfectly honest, I was down and out. The sunshine, flowers blooming, and birds singing remind me of Adam. He loved being outside in the flower beds working with me. So, today I worked away my tears.

Andrew is out for Spring Break. We do not really have any plans. He says he wants to just be a "hermit" this week. I am a little worried about him. He has been down and out and missing Adam a whole bunch. I think we are both feeling this way right now. Adam's 7th birthday is about a month away and we would be planning his party about now. Sometimes it just does not seem possible.

Keep Andrew in your prayers as he is struggling right now being an only child. I hope all of you have a wonderful weekend. God Bless You.

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Monday, March 7, 2005 11:26 PM CST

Today as I turned my calendar "Promies for Parents", it was as if Adam were speaking to me and saying "I told you mom". Here is the promise for today....

ALL THE DAYS PLANNED FOR ME WERE WRITTEN IN YOUR BOOK BEFORE I WAS ONE DAY OLD.
PSALM 139:16 NCV

God does that hit home. What more can I say...this verse says it all for Adam's little short life on earth. God knew and Adam knew.

Say a prayer for Andrew. He has been a little down. Yesterday he told me that it really stinks being an only child, with no one to talk to or play with.

I had a follow-up appointment with the neurologist. He said to continue my therapy at home and he did not need to see me back unless I had severe pain and starting losing strength and mobility in the arm. Wow, that sounds drastic. Tonight my neck is killing me. I have been doing lots of housework and rearranging lately...too much stain. He said to take it easy and do not lift above my head or make too many turns to the right with my neck. He said this would be something I would have to live with and if the pain got severe then we would revisit the issue.

I will say good night. Busy day tomorrow. God Bless You All!

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

P.S. The green armbands "Reach the Day" from CureSearch are really selling in our community. If you have not purchased one visit the CureSearch site above and order yours today.

Thursday, March 3, 2005 8:58 AM CST

Good Morning Friends!
I don't know what the weather is like in the rest of the world for all my CaringBridge Friends, but in Texas it has been RAINING! I am really ready for bright, sunshine days. This does absolutely nothing for the old mood. One thing for sure, I have done lots of cleaning out of paperwork in my house

As I flipped the page on "My Promises for Parents" Calendar for today it says:
I TELL YOU THE TRUTH, YOU MUST ACCEPT THE KINGDOM OF GOD AS IF YOU WERE A LITTLE CHILD, OR YOU WILL NEVER ENTER IT.
MARK 10:15 NCV
Boy, this reminds me of Adam. He loved to talk about heaven and going to be with Jesus. Children really get it better than the adults. Like Adam, they have no fear of dying. They see the eternal life, the glory of the kingdom of heaven. Us adults seem to be more materialistic and fear leaving the material things on earth. The Bible tells us to not become attached to material things on earth, they are temporary. The human side of us sometimes have a very hard time accepting that. I tend to look at things differently now that my little Adam is in his eteranl home. He prepared me and made me realize how truly wonderful it will be to have an eteranl life and not dwell on the material world. Sad, but through the eyes of a child. Thank you Adam for you faith and showing me the way. I love you forever little precious.

Things are really busy these days. Andrew's last year in private school in winding down. We are preparing for 6th grade graduation and of course, I am a room mom with a friend of mine so we are planning the graduation and all the events leading up to it. We visited the Junior High School on Tuesday and Andrew was very excited. Praise God! I worry about that. He will be closing a big chapter in his life. But, then again, he is opening a new one. Lots bigger. I pray everyday that God will protect him along the way.

Have a wonderful day!
Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Sunday, February 27, 2005 2:24 PM CST

Well...I had a hard day in Sunday School. I had to walk out and get myself together. We have been studying "A Purpose Driven Life", and it hits home with us.

ROMANS 8:28-29 SAYS:
We know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. God knew his people in advance and he chose them to become like his Son".

Did you know this is one of the most misquoted and misunderstood passage in the Bible. It doesn't say "God causes everthing to work out the way I want it to." It also doesn't say "God causes everything to work out to have a happy ending on earth". Chapter 25 of this book gets into this scripture. Life is not a result of chance. It is a result of God's MASTER PLAN. Without getting into a preaching session...this scripture makes me very emotional.

On to a lighter note...This afternoon CureSearch was featured on The Tribute to the Movies on Ice. In addition, several of the CureSearch PSAs were played during commerical time. This is the first major project under our CureSearch's new sponsorship relationship with Hyundai Motor America. As part of the Hyundai sponsorship, CureSearch NCCF will be the beneficiary of Hyundai's 2005 Tribute to the Movies on Ice. Hyundai has a seven-year track record for supporting Pediatric Oncology Research. As a valued partner of CureSearch, Hyundai will donate a portion of every new vehicle sold towards childhood cancer research. In 2005, Hyundai will also host Hope on Wheels events in approximately 40 cities honoring young people battling cancer. During the Tribute several cancer patients were featured and placed handprints on an SUV that was donated by Hyundai as the official car in the program called "Hope on Wheels". This is awesome advertising for CureSearch. PRAISE GOD AND THANK YOU HYUNDAI! for those who watched the program, I know it touched your hearts. Perhaps it will touch America and more awareness and private funding will begin to take place for children.

Other wonderful news...Friday Tim and I attended a Luncheon/Forum for Congressman Michael McCaul held in Brenham. Congressman McCaul truly touched our hearts. He opened his speech by recognizing Tim and I, sharing "Adam's Story", and our fight as a family to reach the day when no child has to die from "childhood cancer". He told everyone he was going to support our effots in Congress and would be happy to work with us and CureSearch. PRAISE GOD!

Thank you CaringBridge Family & Friends for checking on me.
God Bless You.

Angel Adam's Mom
Donna

Monday, February 21, 2005 10:55 PM CST

Tim and I are going to spend the day together since he has the day off. It was a cloudy day, and I felt somewhat dreary, you might say. I know I should not have been. I should have been thankful that we would have a day to sort of "do nothing". After leaving physical therapy (traction) for my neck, we went to the cemetery. I felt so sad. I kept saying to Tim...I need God to show me or reaffirm that what we are doing is the right thing. For some reason I needed affirmation on this particular morning. We both cried and questioned different things that have taken place in our lives over the past two years. Sometimes I find that I become IMPATIENT. I want everything to happen quicker than what is does. Speaking in particular about CURESEARCH and getting everyone as involved and excited as we are about finding such a wonderful organization that focuses on "Childhood Cancer Awareness, Raising Funds & Research".

Well, the day goes about as a normal day. Except that Tim and I were able to pick Andrew up from school and take him out to lunch, which was so nice. Seeing his smiling, happy face when we surprised him was awesome.

Later in the evening I decided to check my emails. Lo and behold my affirmation was there waiting for me. Thank you Christi Crow for sharing your story about your Angel Joey. What a beautiful child! You lifted my spirits by knowing that someone is reading, listening, and hearing that there needs to be more done regarding CANCER IN CHILDREN. You are so right...one child lost is too many. United together we can fight this battle.

God provided that affirmation for me in the verse.
FOR I KNOW THE PLANS I HAVE FOR YOU, DECLARES THE LORD, PLANS TO PROSPER YOU AND NOT HARM YOU, PLANS TO GIVE YOU HOPE AND A FUTURE.
JEREMIAH 29:11 (NIV)

God Bless You!
Angel Adam's Mom

Friday, February 18, 2005 9:25 AM CST

PRAISE GOD...HE IS GOOD!

We have returned from our Team Leadership visits with our Congressmen and Senators on Capitol Hill. Awesome! Tim and I had 10 appointments from 10:30 am - 4:45 pm on February 16th. Needless to say we were literally running from House Building to House Building. Were we productive? We feel that we were. They seemed to be very receptive and tuned in to the need for more funding for Childhood Cancer. We have a really great feeling about our Texas Reps. They were tremendous.

Lots of wonderful things are beginning to take place with CureSearch. One of our ladies had a meeting with The Wall Street Journal regarding a new program she started called "Coaching for a Cure" (visit www.curesearch.org) for more details. Also, hold on for this one...a taping is in the works for the OPRAH SHOW. This would be exactly what CureSearch needs. Other happenings...more details as they come to us...CureSearch PSA's during Oscar Awards and others "in the spotlight" people supporting the organization. Miss America will be makig an appearance soon as CureSearch's official spokesperson. There is honestly so much in the making. We will be told as they all have definite dates. I will post these on the website as we find out about them.

If you have not purchased a GREEN BRACELET from CureSearch "Reach the Day", do so, they are a hot item right now. Go on line and order some today and help raise money for Childhood Cancer.

Thank you Caringbridge Family and Friends for praying for Tim and I as we made this trip. It all went well. Andrew did wonderful, but when I walked in the door last night, he grabbed my neck and squeezed it so tight. He was kissing me and holding me so tight saying how much he missed me. It felt so good to feel that big 12 yr. old (bigger than me) hold me tight and tell me he loved me and missed me. He finally let go and decided to give his dad a hug or two...I got the most...am I blessed or what!

Have a wonderful weekend!
Angel Adam's Mom

Monday, February 14, 2005 11:19 PM CST

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! GIVE THE LOVED ONES IN YOUR LIVES A GREAT BIG HUG!

We had a nice sunny day so my spirits were a little higher day. We had a busy day getting ready to leave for Washington D.C. (early in the morning). CureSearch has scheduled around 10 meetings for Tim and I on Wednesday. Some are with Congressmen and some with their assistants, health officials, etc. It will be a busy, busy day. Tomorrow after we arrive we will have a reception on Capitol Hill with Team Leaders from CureSearch, as well as the staff, and some Congressmen, and various other speakers. We will be advocating for $9.5 million for Childhood Cancer.

Please be with us in prayer. This is not about us or about saving our son, it is about helping all children who suffer from the demon CANCER. There simply is not enough funding for research, etc. for children and this is the point we have to get across to our government.

God Bless You All!

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Thursday, February 10, 2005 10:13 PM CST

BRIEF UPDATE!
PRAISE THE LORD FOR SUNSHINE AND A GOOD DOCTOR'S REPORT!

Yes, we saw the sunshine today. What a welcome site. The past few days I have spent lots of time at physical therapy and occupational therapy trying to get some relief in the neck and arm. Yesterday I had a appointment with the neurologist. He did not do the EMG where the put the needles in the fingers and up the arm to find out what nerve and muscle is being affected. He said it is painful and he would do that if all else fails. Instead I had a 4 hr. appointment, x-rays and MRI. Results...he doen't see anything abnormal or operable, only a nerve being pinched off between the C5 & C6 vertebrae. He started me on steroids, continue the neck traction 3 times a week at the rehabilitation center, in addition to purchasing a small one for home and putting my neck in traction 2 times a day for 20 minutes with 8 lbs. Sounds like fun, right? The traction actually feels great.

Tim and I are busy preparing for our trip on Captiol Hill (Washington D.C.) next week as Team Leaders for Curesearch. We have around 10 appointments scheduled with congressmen, assistants, health officials, you name it, in a day and a half. We will be running to make them all. This is where we ask for 9.5 million dollars for Childhood Cancer Funding for the year 2006. God will lead us and prepare the hearts and minds of the people we have to visit with.

Join in the "crusade" for fighting for more funding for childhood cancer by logging on to CURESEARCH and find out how to become an advocate.

PROVERBS 3:5-6 NKJV
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Saturday, February 5, 2005 11:57 AM CST

My 'PROMISE FOR PARENTS" calendar for today reads:

A CHILD ENTERs YOUR HOME AND MAKES SO MUCH NOISE YOU CAN HARDLY STAND IT---THEN DEPARTS, LEAVING THE HOUSE SO QUIET YOU THINK YOU'LL GO MAD. (By. Dr. J. A. Holmes)

I know I have quoted this last year, but parents who have lost their children know exactly what this phrase means all too well. Not only do you think you will go mad, your life can never be the same again.

Parents who have not lost a child, savor every minute with them. You never know when it can happen you. It happened to me, in only a couple of hours. God Bless You All!

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Friday, February 4, 2005 0:08 AM CST

BRIEF UPDATE!
It is early Friday morning in Texas...not able to sleep again. We had a really exhausting day. We spent about 5 hours with a reporter, Dan Lauck, from Channel 11 KHOU-TV, Houston, Texas. You cannot imagaine how draining and exhausting it is to have a reporter in your home. Reliving and telling him about every moment leading up to Adam's sudden death is so difficult. Why do we do it? We feel as if we have to. There are so many unanswered questions and events leading up to that time. Will we ever have an answer, probably not, but maybe by doing what we are doing it may be able to assist other families in important ways. Without getting into the subject too much, I leave it at that.

My shoulder, arm, or whatever are feeling a little better with the help of the therapy.

Praise God....notice update of events above, we received another donation for CureSearch. Every dollar counts and we thank God. Have a wonderful weekend my friends.

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Monday, January 31, 2005 10:28 PM CST

Well, another rainy day in Texas. This weather has just been the pitts lately. Looks like it may last most of the week.

The doctor indicated he wants me to do Occupational Therapy 3 days a week. I actually started today, which was painful, but feels much better tonight. Also, I will be seeing a neurologist who will be sticking needles into my fingers and up my right arm to test the nerves. Not looking forward to this one, but if they find the source of the pain, go for it.

I have to share a HAPPY with you all...Andrew won first place tonight in the Life Science Division for his Science Fair Project. He also won the overall "Best of Show" award. His project was titled "Parachuting...Does Size Really Matter?" He really enjoyed working on it. We are so very proud of him. He is so gifted with ideas and this project proved it. Next year he will be going from private school to public, which will be a big adjustment for him. But we know he is ready and can do it. Praise God for the wonderful 6 years he has received at First Baptist Church School. We feel he has a great foundation and is well-grounded.

Overall, a good day! Yeah, my arm feels some relief.
PSALM 106.1 NKJV
PRAISE THE LORD! OH, GIVE THANK TO THE LORD, FOR HE IS GOOD! FOR HIS MERCY ENDURES FOREVER.

Thursday, January 27, 2005 9:30 PM CST

QUICK UPDATE: Been a little under the weather, just like pretty much everyone here in Texas. One day it's 80 and the next 30. I call it FUNK. When the weather is dreary it sort of sets my mood. I don't mean for it too, but it does. My shoulder and complete right arm have been bothering me for over a month now. Tomorrow I am going to the doctor to hopefully have it xrayed. That's one reason why I have not updated much, it hurts to type.

Busy with CureSearch fundraising and Adam's Angels Ministry. We raised $875.00 Saturday at a Grand Opening of MWM Sports, Inc. (friends of ours). Thank you God for people understanding the needs of children with cancer. Thank you Webb's and Musser's for your generosity and concern.

Today I remind myself (and one of my CaringBridge Friends)
of this verse because of my FUNK mood.

ISAIAH 58:11 NKJV
THE LORD WILL GUIDE YOU CONTINUALLY, AND SATISFY YOUR SOUL IN DROUGHT, AND STRENGTHEN YOUR BONES; YOU SHALL BE LIKE A WATERED GARDEN, AND LIKE A SPRING OF WATER, WHOSE WATERS DO NOT FAIL.

Angel Adam's Mom

Friday, January 21, 2005 11:11 AM CST

PRAISE GOD FOR GIVING ME PEACE YESTERDAY!

The quote on my "Promises for Parents" calendar for today says:
The smallest children are the nearest to God, as the smallest planets are nearest the sun.--Jean Paul Richter

This is truly the way I felt yesterday. Peaceful about Adam and his eternal life. Yesterday we officially kicked-off the "Adam's Angels Ministry". Tim, myself, Jill King, and Mickey Johnson headed to Texas Children's Hospital with 10 gift baskets for families of newly diagnosed "childhood cancer". We met with the social workers and presented the baskets. They will in turn give them to families at which time they can inquire about "Adam's Angels" if they choose to. The social worker can then provide them with a brochure that will in turn allow them to give us information about them at which time we can make contact with them. An "Angel-in-Waiting" from our ministry will then contact the family and confer with them and try to help meet some of their needs. We have prayed hard about this ministry and we know God is leading us to HELP other families. We had so much help during our ordeal that we want to give back in some way. Adam would want it to be this way. We are excited and have lots of other ministry projects in the works.

Thank God for this ministry which allowed me to feel good about yesterday and not focus on where Adam is not, but where he is...AWESOME!

Our "little bee" didn't do too well at the spelling bee, but he is a "champion speller" for getting to the Washington County Spelling Bee. We are so proud of Andrew. He had a really rough day yesterday. Upon picking him up from school he was pale as a ghost and walking really funny. He immediately told me he did not want to play in this basketball game (which was at 5 pm and before the spelling bee). This was unusual. I thought he was probably nervous and also deep in thought about Adam. No, that was not it. He got in the car and said he was so sick. His stomach hurt so bad that he couldn't walk. He had already decided to blow the game off, but wanted to do the bee. We took him to the doctor so he could get something to relieve the pains. The doctor ran bloodwork and a urine sample. Once again, our mind goes crazy. The pills he gave him helped and he was able to participate in the bee but was so nervous once he found out it was broadcast over the radio. Anyway, we are very, very proud of him. He is such an awesome speller, but the nerves took over. Of all words...he was so mad...COURAGE! He knew it but could not get it out.

Thank you for thinking and praying for our family always and especially yesterday.

Angel Adam's Mom

Tuesday, January 18, 2005 11:19 PM CST

DEUTERONOMY 31:6 SAYS:
BE STRONG AND COURAGEOUS. DO NOT BE AFRAID OR TERRIFIED BECAUSE OF THEM, FOR THE LORD YOUR GOD GOES WITH YOU; HE WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU, NOR FORSAKE YOU.

Thank you dear God, because this is so true this week. I feel your presence all around me. I know you are lifting me up, guiding me, allowing me to remember, but at the same time keeping me busy. God knows I need to be busy this week and that I am. Our meeting of Adam's Angels Ministry was great. Wonderful ideas shared and people wanting to get involved. Praise God!

REFLECTION: As I reflect back to 2 yrs. ago, this date (Jan. 18), Adam was alive, but on life support. I know that the Holy Spirt had already prepared our hearts and minds that it was time for him to go be with "his Sweet Jesus". I can remember January 19, 2003 at around 1:00 am was the first time we actually closed our eyes. We actually left his room and left two wonderful friends with him. We went to the hotel to try and sleep until around 6 am. Around 4 am that morning I heard Adam calling me. I woke Tim up and told him we had to go because Adam was calling. It was at that time that a sudden sense of peace came over me. I knew the Lord had called for him and I was OK with it. Upon arriving in his room, we learned that the life support had finally reached what we call the "sweet" spot. The nurse had it to where everything was totally under control, all his vitals. No, it wasn't the life support, it was his "Sweet Jesus" who had it under control. He was free at last. Free to breathe the ETERNAL LIFE. We both knew it as we looked at one another.

I know in my heart this was the day his "Sweet Jesus" actually carried him to his eteranl home in heaven. As I turn the page of my "Promises for Parents" calendar, it reads for January 19....
BUT NOW THE LORD WHO CREATED YOU SAYS...
I HAVE CALLED YOU BY NAME; YOU ARE MINE.
ISAIAH 43:1 TLB

Dear Lord...it was true, Adam's name was called to go to his eternal home.

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Saturday, January 15, 2005 10:53 AM CST

TODAY I OPEN IN SAYING "THANK YOU DEAR GOD"!
I thank you for my son Andrew, who is so mature and understanding and sometimes has knowledge and insight into the "human hearts and minds" that some adults do not even have. I praise God for giving me this child to share in my life. I also thank God for my heavnenly son, Adam. Thank you Adam for leading the way and leaving us with such wonderful memories and visions of an eternal life. It is through your insight into heaven, through the Holy Spirit, that we know you are truly in a much better place.
So, God, thank you.

I think back two years ago, Adam was here and we were a family of four. Happy! He had been feeling a little ill, nothing to worry about. The stories he shared with us about Jesus, heaven, and dying amaze me to this day. I truly know now that he knew something was not right. He was telling us in a round-about-way. I know that the Holy Spirit was calling him to come and be with his "Sweet Jesus". He was not afraid, no. He was afraid for us. Afraid that we would not understand his leaving so soon. Truly at the time we did not. But, as the years have passed we know now why God chose to take Adam back with him so soon after he gave him to us. The type of leukemia Adam had was so "bad" that he would have never led a normal life. With his severe swelling of the brain so rapidly and the brain stem pushing down into his body, he would not been able to function again. This would not have been life to Adam. No four year old would want this. They are suppose to be playing, running, and happy, not lying in a hospital the rest of their life. Adam was ok with his "eteranl life", it was us who were being selfish. We wanted him, anyway we could have him. We prayed for that until we realized just how selfish it was on our part. We turned it all over to God and prayed for his will to be done. If it be that he have an eternal life in heaven so soon, then we let go. Dear God, we know that was you will and released our son to you. After all, he was never ours to begin with. You gave him to us as a precious gift and when you called for him one day, it was up to us as parents to release him back to you. Yes, it's hard...but WE KNOW WHERE HE IS!

Tomorrow we will be having our first meeting of a ministry we started in Adam's name. ADAM'S ANGELS MINISTRY is a non-profit organization that provides, churches, groups, or individuals the opportunity to minister to families diagnosed with "childhood cancer" by providing physical, emotional, and spiritual support. We are also working to promote childhood cancer awareness, research, and funding (through CureSearch). Thank you to our church, First Baptist Church-Brenham, for allowing us to be a part of their mission team and supporting our ministry.

Thank you for sharing in my feelings and understanding. God Bless You my "dear CaringBridge Friends & Family". Thanks for being my back-up team.

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Wednesday, January 12, 2005 2:05 PM CST

Hello Dear Friends,
Today I come with a confused heart. A heart that feels like God is making me choose between my children, one on earth and one in heaven. Deep down inside my heart I know my "little precious" in heaven is safe, sound, and secure and is seated beside the Father he needs in his eternal life. But, the earthly, human side of me does not want to fully let go and allow our heavenly Father to be his sole Provider. I still want control! I want him here so we can be together. I know God is in control and he is celebrating in his eternal life. So, why is my heart not content?

What is all this you might ask? Well, on Monday night Andrew won third place at our school spelling bee. Awesome, I agree. However, the dilema...he has to compete against the area schools next Thursday, January 20, 7:00 p.m. So what't the problem...be excited. This day is reserved for "memories of Adam", his 2 yr. anniversary date of earning his eternal life. My mind keeps saying it is not right to have to choose. This is the one day I choose to think of Adam completely....all day. Wrong, the Lord is telling me. You have a son on earth that needs you that day, focus your complete attention on him. The Lord says, "your baby Adam is safe with me". Why, today of all days I ask. There are 364 other days, just leave this one for Adam alone, I tell myself. Things do not always go our way...I know that or Adam would be on this earth right now. I have to realize that the Lord knows best and I must obey. Ok Lord, I trust you and turn it over to you. I will focus on Andrew's needs that day and do what I need to in order to make him happy so that he goes into this competion with a relaxed mind. A mind that is not cluttered and wondering whether mom and dad are thinking about being elsewhere. I will obey your command.

Well, after convincing myself, I began to wonder what Andrew thought. If he even remembered what day the competition fell on. If his mind would be discontent and he not be able to focus on the spelling bee. I decided to discuss it with him. He indeed knew what date it was and immediately said, "oh no, what are we going to do"! After giving it some thought, he came back with this statement. He said, "mom, I think Adam wants things to be focused someplace else that day instead of on him. I think Adam is trying to tell us that it is Ok to move foward and to stop focusing COMPLETELY on him that day. He wants us to remember him, but our lives do not have to stop just because that is the day he left earth. He has an eternal life and one day we will share it with him. Why should we worry about thos ONE DAY when we have eternity together." Well, of course I sat there totally amazed at what he had just said. My son is so....I don't even know what to say. All I know is Andrew is what keeps me going, knowing I can make it through another day without Adam. He makes me see all the glory in Adam's eternal life. Thank you dear God for giving me such a blessing in my earthly life, as Andrew. Andrew also said that Adam would be his guardian angel that day and that no matter how the competion turned out he was a winner.

ISAIAH 58:11
The Lord will guide you always,
he will satisfy your needs
in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail.

I know on this day my body will feel as if it has been scorched....lifeless. The Lord will satisfy my soul by the joy he gives me in feeling proud of not only one of my sons, but both. One who has conquered heaven, the other who will conquer in his spelling competition. This is when my soul shall be refreshed like a watered garden and I will wonder why I ever even thought I had to choose. I DIDN'T HAVE TO WITH GOD'S HELP!

Angel Adam's Mom

Friday, January 7, 2005 10:48 PM CST

GOOD EVENING!
Wanted to share something with you from my "Promises for Parents" calendar.
Today it says...
GOD SENDS CHILDREN TO ENLARGE OUR HEARTS
AND TO MAKE US UNSELFISH
AND FULL OF KINDLY SYMPATHIES
AND AFFECTIONS.

So very true, our hearts explode from love for our children. They are the best part of life.

Today, I practiced "independence" with Andrew...something he asked for this upcoming year. To do more without us being beside him or behind him. Tim and I met another couple for dinner. We dropped Andrew off at a good friend's house whose parents were going to drop them off at the movie at 7:00 pm and pick them up at 9:00 pm. I NEVER DO THIS, NEVER. But, I am trying to fulfill his request. I gave him my cell phone and told him to call me immediately when the show was over and he was being picked up and back at his friend's house. In turn, we were going to pick him up around 9:30 pm at his friend's house. He did just that, very obedient. It is going to be hard to let go a little, but I have to for his sake. I cannot smother him just because Adam died. I have to trust him and trust that God will take care of him. I know that God will guide me so that I can be a good parent and not a controlling one.

Have a wonderful weekend and God bless you all.

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Tuesday, January 4, 2005 3:11 PM CST

Hello Dear CaringBridge Friends!

It's a new year, time for new beginnings, and new ventures. This first month is always pretty rough for our household seeing how the 20th will be 2 yrs. since "Our Little Precious" left us to be with "His Sweet Jesus". So, bear with me if I don't communicate as much. Sometimes I find it is just better to be by myself.

Christmas, we made it through...our family trip was great; however, this family never seems to do anything without an EVENT. First off, let me say, praise God that things were not any worse. My mom, had a very simple fall the second day. It ended up being more than anyone anticipated. Sprang her ankle, pulled some ligaments, broke a bone in the foot, and as a result of the large amount of swelling and bruising, ended up with a tissue infection. So, you know where we have been...WHAT WE SEEM TO CHECK OUT MORE THAN LIBRARY BOOKS...doctors. But, it could have been worse.

Our second EVENT, you see, we were on a cruise and on Christmas Day, out of nowhere (as the captain said, did not appear on radar), hurricane force winds came up (90-100 mi. an hr), waves up to 20 ft. blowing things off the deck of the ship, and people being told to go to their rooms and lie horizontal or go to the center of the ship. Yes, that would the excursion we were on. We actually had to laugh. Imagine 2400 people SICK, THROWING UP, poor cruise ship workers, running behind everyone with BARF BAGS OR A VACUUM. We did not throw-up, but we felt sick and had headaches. If you tried to walk the floor seemed like it was either 5-6 feet above or below you and moving all the time. This ordeal lasted for 12hrs.

Around 7:00 pm that evening things did slow down and we were able to get up, take showers, and make our 8:30 Christmas Dinner. Not many people were there. My mother had a real challenge, so she did not join us that evening.
As for Christmas Day...well we left 90 degree sunny beach weather, encountered hurricane force winds, then arrived at our home port the next morning to SNOW. YES, SKNOW! You talk about experience it all, we did. One thing is for sure, as the captain said, God guided our ship to port. AMEN! It took us all about 4 days before we could even walk and we still felt as if things were moving on us.

Now, Andrew has been feeling crumy...so to the doctor we go. Nothing major, just typical sinus and upper respiratory problems like everyone. He is missing his first day back as school, so I know he feels bad.

This year we are going to be focusing very hard on Adam's Angels Ministry, getting it going, and CureSearch. We plan to go to Texas Children's Hospital on Jan. 20 and present our first "Basket" to a newly diagnosed cancer patient. We are going to be scheduling monthly meetings, in conjunction with being Team Leaders for CureSearch and pursing AWARENESS. We will be going to Washington D.C. in February and June. Several opportunites have evolved in which we will be able to make presentations on behalf of CURESEARCH and donations given. God is truly in this. He knows our hearts are all about "helping the children". We want to do what we could not do for Adam. No child should have to suffer and go through what they do. I might add, that the day before we left for our trip, 93Q, which is a radio station out of Houston, TX held a live three day radio-telethon at Texas Children's Hospital to raise funds. We had the opportunity to particpate and see the children first-hand. God these children have amazing strength and will. They always seemed to smile even when hooked up to an IV pole or being poked and prodded. The station raised over $406,000. THANK YOU 93Q. It was so awesome to see these radio DJ's so touched, shedding tears, and opening their hearts.

I send out a special prayer to all the children currently battling CANCER! May God protect you and your families always.

Angel Adam's Mom

Friday, December 31, 2004 7:31 PM CST

All is well in the Culliver household.
As for the New Year....May God Bless You All!

To You "Little Precious"
PSALM 121:7,8, NIV

THE LORD WILL KEEP YOU FROM ALL HARM---
HE WILL WATCH OVER YOUR LIFE;
THE LORD WILL WATCH OVER YOUR COMING
AND GOING BOTH NOW AND FOREVERMORE.

We miss you and you are in our hearts tonight as we are about to enter into another year without you!

Love,
Mom, Dad, Andrew

Tuesday, December 28, 2004 11:12 PM CST

Hello CaringBridge Friends & Family!
We are back home from our trip. It was enjoyable, relaxing, sad, and eventful, I might add. We experienced a few bums in the WATER shall I say. I will update later...have had a busy day adjusting, going to the doctors, (yes, I said doctors) and just getting back to normal.

Hope everyone had a peaceful Christmas! Wow, the celebration of the birth of the Christ-child. Now, Angel Adam experiences everyday with him.

Always,
Donna

Sunday, December 12, 2004 10:46 PM CST

UPDATE!

The past week...pretty tough. Trying to stay out and away from all the hustle and hurriedness of "Christmas". I am just trying to reflect on what Christmas is truly about,
"the birth of the Christ child". Also reflecting on how awesome it must be for Adam to experience this all first-hand.

I have been experiencing quite a bit of pain in my neck again. It started back up around Thursday. I have not gone to a doctor...I think I am just stressed. Pray that my neck will begin to feel better.

Church today...really, really tough. I fell completely apart during the last song sung. It any of you have heard it you will know why. It is sung by Chris Rice and it is called "Untitled Hymn" because that is exactly what it was. However, they attached the name "Come to Jesus" behind it. Anyway the words are so true, so fitting, so Adam. I could barley make it out of church. I felt so weak. But, I needed that good cry so I could get it out and focus again.

We will be going away for the holidays and sharing it with some family. We will spend time reflecting as a family. I ask that you pray that we have a restful time and that we will be able to focus on the reason for Christmas.

I do not know whether I will update again before we leave. May God protect each and everyone of you and keep you safe. Our Christmas prayer for all our CaringBridge Friends is...
MAY YOUR HOME BE FILLED WITH GOD'S EXTRAVAGANT LOVE THIS CHRISTMAS AND THROUGHOUT THE NEW YEAR!

GOD BLESS YOU!
Tim, Donna, Andrew Culliver
&
Adam's Angels Ministry

Sunday, December 5, 2004 10:33 PM CST

Hello CaringBridge Friends...sorry I have not updated, but things have been a little difficult lately, so I felt it was just best that I seek the Lord for guidance before making an entry in this journal.

PROVERBS 3:5-6 NKJV
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.

I can remember little Adam having to memorize this verse in a shorter form...he did it and was proud. He always said "Trust in the Lord, mommy". He did, always. He was right. With trust in the Lord, I can handle anything, even these very difficult times.

I have also been feeling a little out of sorts. I did something to my neck...God knows what or how, anyway it has been hurting really bad. One of the doctors in my Sunday School Class told me last night that it was a muscle that felt really, really, stressed. So, I took a muscle relaxer and slept most of the day...now I probably will not sleep tonight.

Andrew and I went to both papaw's grave and Adam's this weekend and decorated it for Christmas. We placed small Christmas trees on both of them. Andrew did really, really well so it made it easy for me, thank God for that. He was so perfect in putting things on the tree. He kept saying, "Adam would want it this way". He was so right about that. Adam loved Christmas time. Now, he gets to spend it with the KING. Imagine that. I know that day must be wonderful. I look forward to that day.

I pray that each and every one of you has a wonderful upcoming week. May God lead you in your thoughts, actions, and words. May God Bless and take care of all the sick children in the world and especially those I have come to know over this CaringBridge website.

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Tuesday, November 30, 2004 0:31 AM CST

Today I pray:

I PETER 5:7 NKJV
Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.

Lord I pray this today as my heart is so heavy. I know you care Lord and I need to feel that love now more than ever. I truly miss the love of my "little precious" right now. Dear Lord, I feel depressed when I think of these upcoming days without Adam. The days filled with all the things children love so much (Christmas songs, celebrations, gifts, and much more). Father, I refuse to be caught up in the "earthly material" things that Christmas has become. I know little Adam is a part of the ULTIMATE CELEBRATION in heaven. I know he is experiencing the greatest gift of all, "eternal life". This time of year was so special to him. He loved singing "happy birthday to Jesus". Now, he shares that with "his Sweet Jesus". So...please, ease this burden of lonliness and emptiness. I do thank you for giving him eternal life.

Adam, my little precious, I miss you more now than ever. They say things get better with time...what is time? Time is something we never seem to have enough of, and then when we do have it, we sometimes wish we had less. I wish I would have had more time to know you, love you, see you grow, and share in the fine young man I know you would have been. No more wondering...I know what and who you are...a true little disciple of God's.

I pray for all of those families who will experience the holidays without their child. I also pray for those families who are able to share the holidays with their children who are suffering from some form of cancer or such. May God restore your health, protect you, and keep you in his constant care. God Bless You, my CaringBridge Friends.

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Saturday, November 27, 2004 9:36 PM CST

PHILLIPPIANS 4:6, NKJV
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made know to God.

I hope everyone had a wonderful and blessed Thanksgiving. Our was very hard. We chose to stay in town this year and spend it together, just the three of us. We thanked God for allowing us to have that bonding time, even as hard as it was. We were thankful for the friendships that have guided us through our difficult times. Most of all, we are thankful for our Lord and Savior for dying on the cross for us. We thank God for having allowed us 4 plus wonderful years with "our little precious", Adam. We know it was not near long enough, but we are thankful for the love he brought to our family. That love will continue to grow as we "spread the awareness and importance" of childhood cancer issues. It is through Adam's death that we were made aware of how much more needs to be done for children with cancer. Sadly enough, this is what it took for us to become involved in something so important as "raising funds to help save children with cancer". Dear God, we do thank you for opening our hearts and minds to this issue through the death of our son.

These next few weeks will be hard I know. Yes, I have been through one Christmas without Adam, but God truly protected me that first year. Now, reality! I know God will see me through. I will continue to rely on God for my strength and not get caught up in the material things that seem to surface during this time of the year.

MOM UPDATE: Doing wonderful right now and I praise God for that. Thanks to all of you for your continued prayers for her health.

May God Bless each of you always.

Angel Adam's Mom

Tuesday, November 23, 2004 9:43 AM CST

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL MY CARINGBRIDGE FRIENDS & VISTORS!
Remember to give thanks to our Lord and Savior who guides us in our daily lives and gives us "eternal life" in heaven.

Andrew's birthday was awesome. The rain held off until we were packing up. Praise God for that. He truly had a great time and said it was the "best" birthday ever. To see him happy and having a good time was great medicine for us.

We met with our friend from Maryland Sunday and had a wonderful visit. We gave her a tour of Texas Children's Hospital. She is meeting with doctors at MD Anderson. After both her tours, she came to the conclusion that we are so very fortunate to have such wonderful hospitals in Houston, Texas. We agree!

I PETER 3:8 TLB
And now this word to all of you:
You should be like one big happy family,
full of sympathy toward each other, loving
one another with tender hearts
and humble minds.

I give thanks for all the wonderful things God provides for me daily. I give thanks for his son dying on the cross so that I will have eternal life. I give thanks for "Sweet Jesus" sparing my precious Adam from pain and giving him an "eternal life" in heaven.

GOD BLESS YOU! Have a safe holiday.

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Friday, November 19, 2004 9:57 AM CST

UPDATE! Thank you EJ for the help!

Today, we celebrate, Andrew's 12th birthday. He is so very excited about it this year. We are going to Richards, Texas to Tim's boss's "private exotic animal ranch", around 1200 acres. They will be staying the night. Last year he did not even want to think about it without his brother because of the awesome time they had just before Adam's death. The November before, Andrew had a campout party. Of course, Adam wanted to be there and Andrew really did not want his baby brother to stay the night. It was Ok for him to be there to do all the other things, but not camp overnight with his friends. Well, he changed his mind because Adam was having so much fun with all of them, and of course, he was the "little clown" of the party. I know Andrew cherishes that 10th Birthday that was so special with his brother. This year will be a new beginning for him.

Angel Adam...I know you are wishing your brother a "special birthday" this year. You are with him in spirit, always.

This weekend Tim and I will also be meeting a lady we met at the Childhood Cancer Gold Ribbon Days in Washington, D.C. She is flying in from Maryland to meet with some doctors in Houston, Texas. She too lost her son very fast to cancer at the age of 6. He was just feeling sick and could not get well, hospitalized, died 46 days later, not diagnosed with a brain tumor until after he died. It has been three years for her and she has a foundation set up in his name. She too is a Team Leader for Maryland. God Bless Our Angels.

Well, I leave you with this today:

ROMANS 15:5 TLB
May God who gives patience,
steadiness, and encouragement
help you to live in complete harmony
with each other.

God Bless You! Hae a wonderful weekend.
Angel Adam's Mom

Tuesday, November 16, 2004 10:17 PM CST

SHORT UPDATE!
NOTICE TWO NEW DONATIONS LISTED ABOVE NOVEMBER 11TH. We have been very busy contacting various media sources to play or show the new "CureSearch-The Ad Council PSA's". Things are going great right now. (visit www.adcouncil.org/campaigns/children_cancer_resourse)

WONDERFUL NEWS.....MISS AMERICA 2005, DEIDRE DOWNS, IS NOW THE OFFICIAL SPOKESPERSON FOR CURESEARCH!
PRAISE GOD, PRAISE GOD!

THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING WAS LIT "GREEN" WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 10, 2004, TO SUPPORT THE OFFICIAL KICKOFF OF CURESEARCH AND THE PSA WITH THE AD COUNCIL.
To read about this exciting news and more visit
www.curesearch.org/aboutus/news
then click on the story you would like to read about.
I would love to put the links on here for you, but, I have not figured that out yet...when we do I will place them directly on the web page and not the journal. Be patient with my inabilities.

Looking for the perfect Christmas Card to send...consider buying Christmas cards that are designed by childhood cancer patients. Sales from these cards help fund research for a CURE.
VISIT - www.curesearch.org/howtohelp/giftshop

Well, as you see, things are happening. I thank God everyday for these wonderful events that are taking place to help spread the awareness which will help increase funding for research to SAVE MORE CHILDREN! After all, "CHILDREN COME FIRST".

I leave you with this:
II CORINTHIANS 13:11 KJV
Be of one mind, live in peace;
and the God of love and peace
shall be with you.

God Bless You!
Angel Adam's Mom

Tuesday, November 9, 2004 0:49 AM CST

Dear CaringBridge Friends...

Today I feel the only entry necessary is as follows:

EPHESIANS 4:29-31 (NIV)
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and SLANDER, along with every from of malice. Be KIND and COMPASSIONATE to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ Lord forgave you.

God Bless You! May the Lord bring you peace, especially to those of you who may feel disgruntled.

Angel Adam's Mom

Sunday, November 7, 2004 3:26 PM CST

PRAYER REQUEST: BRADEN ROEHLING - 2 YRS. OLD
Braden was taken to Texas Children's Hospital on Friday morning. Tim, myself, Tina (mother) took him in our vehicle. He was running a very high temperature and needed intravenous medication again, but it was unsuccessful due to the amount of drugs he was on, veins collapsed. We were in the ER at TCH for approximately 10 hours. After the 3rd try they finally got an IV line in. In all, a total of 9 attempts were made. He looked like a little pincushion. It was very tough on all of us. We all hated to see his stuck so much but knew it had to be done in order to have medicines in him since the oral medicaiton was not working. Also, being a TCH was hard. This is exactly where Adam was taken. We made it through the ordeal with God's help. I even had the opportunity to visit with the ER doctor that worked on Adam, in addition to the Social Worker. I know God was in this all the way. I did not do it, Tim did not do it, God did it. He lead us to be there for Tina and Braden for a reason. It was too hard for Stacey (dad) seein how he had just been through all the cancer issue himself. Any, God was good and we made it through and out of the ER in 10 hrs. vs. the 24 hrs. they told us it would take.

We came home last night. I will probably be returning tonight or in the morning. Braden with have a central line run sometime tomorrow or Tuesday so that he might possibly be able to go home and have the medicine placed in the line by mom and Home Health Care. They are still diagnosing it as Septic Arthritis and have been running other tests to check for a bone infection. The Infectious Disease Team is working on the case.

Please keep little Braden in your prayers. He is a real trooper after all he has been through. This has been hard on their family and ours. All of us have had a rough 2 yrs. starting with Adam's death, Andrew's accident, Stacey diagnosed with cancer, my dad dying, Stacey dad's diagnosed with cancer, then dying within a week, my mom's blood disease, and now this with Braden. Sometimes you wonder what more can two families handle. There have been numerous other little things that would take far too long to explain, so I won't go there. Just pray for all of us. We know God will provide and take care of us. His "will", will be done.

Hope you all have a wonderful week. God Bless You!

Thursday, November 4, 2004 10:03 AM CST

PRAISE! BRADEN ROEHLING IS HOME!
Continue to pray for him because he will be on antibotics for 4-6 weeks and will be having blood tests run for the next 6 weeks, once a week. This is a lot for a little fellow.

Please pray for our family. This month has started out very difficult. You would think as time passes things would get easier, they don't. I miss Adam more today than I ever did. I try to involve myself by helping in other activities with children because I know this is what Adam would want me to do. Sometimes that becomes very, very hard. Yesterday, I helped with the 50's day at school. I did fine most of the morning, until the very end. Adam's little class came in and all his friends began to wave and call my name. My heart sank. They had to do some 50's dances. As I watched them things got worse. I could just see Adam standing in the line with that "big beautiful smile" of his, shaking his bo-hind, as he called it. At that point, I broke into tears. I went to the bathroom so the children would not see me crying. Things just got worse. I just could not do it. I said a prayer that God would give me the strength to complete my assignment, but it just did not happen this time. I had to go into the office and have someone take my place. I was missing Adam so much I could not even explain it. Dear God please get me through this day, that's all I ask for now, this day. I left school and went home and bawled. Tim came home for a while and wanted to take me to lunch, but I could not do it. I just laid in the recliner, where he and I used to sit in the afternoons, on "lazy days", as we called them, and finally fell asleep.

I know life will not be "the way it used to be". I will continue to seek the Lord for daily guidance.
PROVERBS 3:5-6 (NKJV)
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge Him,
and He shall direct your paths.

Today...is a beautiful day and I plan to mow the yard and work in my flowers. This too, was one of Adam's favorites. It make me feel close to him.

God Bless You, my friends!
Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Wednesday, November 3, 2004 0:14 AM CST

UPDATED PHOTOS...PUMPKIN PATCH & MY LITTLE PIRATE!

PRAISE THE LORD! BRADEN ROEHLING WAS RELEASED FROM THE HOSPITAL TODAY.
They did not have all the blood results today, however, since he has not had fever for a couple of days, they sent him home. He will be on oral antibotics for 4 - 6 weeks and will go in to have blood drawn once a week. Please keep him and his family in yours prayers. I spent Monday morning at the hospital with him...he was wound up and ready to go. He was bending his leg. He is still not able to walk on the leg...pray that he will soon.

FALL FESTIVAL...Sunday morning, church was hard for me. Did I cry? Of course! One of Adam's favorite songs was sung during the church service...so the fountain turned on. I worked all afternoon getting things set up. Just as we had all the outside things set up, a big downpour came. We had to move everything around and go with plan 2. Satan was really working hard on us that day. I had a couple of moments where I did not think I was going to be able to do it. I just kept asking the Lord to see me through this day because I knew Adam would want me to be working on this. The Lord did prevail. I MADE IT! I stayed so busy running from outside to inside, and back and forth, that I could not tell you one single costume a child had on. I focused on the event and not the children. I feel like it was a huge success. The exact numnber, I cannot say as of yet...have to count the registration forms. We have had wonderful feedback from church members, the community, etc. PRAISE GOD!

Tuesday evening (tonight), Andrew had his Football Banquet, and of course, I was involved in that. I had to present trophies to the children on our team and to our coaches. A great evening. Tomorrow I will be working at school. It is our 50th day of school and everyone will dress 50's and have popcorn and fun events scheduled during the morning. I just thought the week was going to slow down. But, sometimes that is very good for me...it keeps my mind off of "missing my little precious".

Well, we have been having success in contacting various radio and TV stations about running the new PSA ads for CureSearch. Some TV stations are wanting to do a personal story on Adam...so, the ads will be more personal...they will have personal story. I'll keep you posted as to when and how you might be able to see the first PSA. Keep praying for this to be a successful campaign. It will continue for 3 yrs. Awesome!

Good night all. Thanks for all your continued support and prayers. Please keep the families that have lost their children to cancer this past week...there have been several. God Bless You Always.

Angel Adam's Mom

Saturday, October 30, 2004 11:51 PM CDT

CHECK OUT ADAM'S PUMPKIN PATCH & PIRATE PICTURES!

CONTINUE TO PRAY FOR BRADEN ROEHLING!
2 yr.old, friend of ours son, has what they call "septic arthritis" in his knee. Been in the hospital since Wednesday, had surgery on the knee, and more tests are being run.

Hello All! Not a good day for me. I feel as if my heart has been ripped out all day. This morning Tim and I went to the hospital at 8:00 am and stayed with Braden while Tina and Stacey went to their son's football game. I really enjoyed spending time with him. He is so adorable and silly even when he is sick. It brought back lots of memories of our precious Adam. Tim even kept calling me "mommy" while I was in the room, like he did when Adam was alive. It almost ripped my heart out. (Rip #1 for the day.) He realized what he said when he said it. Later, as I was decorating at church for the Fall Festival, all of a sudden sudden I had a total meltdown and the tears began to flow. (Rip #2) All I could see was Adam's little face his last year during Fall Festival. We did not have one last year, because as chair of the Chrildren's Ministry Committee, I just could not get it together without the direction from a Children's Director, so we opted not to do one. So, this year is going to be so very hard for me.

Then, (Rip #3)... when I got home I completely lost it. I had to go to Adam's closet to look for a jacket that was Andrew's, but had been stored in the top of Adam's closet. Anyway, I opened the closet and out fell the bag that had Adam's last Halloween Costume, "The Pirate". I could not take it. I sat in his closet and cried for about an hour. Why did that costume fall out today of all days. I could just see his little face smiling at me with his hook hand, and patched eye. He was so adorable.

Dear God...I pray that I will be able to make it through the event tomorrow. I want to try and do this event for the children of our church and for Adam's memory. It is what he would want me to do. He knows it is what I love...the children. Lord, please help me focus on Adam's "sweet little face" and know that he is smiling down and saying "THAT'S MY GORGEOUS MOMMY", as he loved to say. So, dear Lord please be with me every step of the way. This event is about sharing Christ with other children. Father God, let the tears that I may shed be ones of joy, joy that children are alive and able to share in God's word and that my Little Precious Adam is sharing that word "first-hand" with his heavenly Father. Amen!

May all of you have a wonderful day tomorrow! Share it with your children and know that Adam is smiling down on all of you "my caringbridge family".

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Thursday, October 28, 2004 10:25 PM CDT

PRAYER REQUEST: BRADEN ROEHLING
2 yr.old son of a good friend of mine...three weeks ago his leg was put in a cast. Yesterday when the cast was removed the leg was terribly swollen...a bacteria was found in the knee joint. He was taken into surgery that afternoon where the area was cleaned out. He is on powerful antibotics and morphine for the pain. He was suppose to be released today, but the bacteria sediment in the white blood count is rather high so additional antibotics are being given by IV with further testing to be done. This family has endured a lot this past year. The dad was diagnosed with Burkitt's Lymphoma in May 2003 and is currently in remission. (www.caringbridge.org/tx/staceyroehling).

ANDREW UPDATE:
He has been coming home complaining of a headache, which of course scares me. Anway, I took him to the doctor yesterday and of course he has a sinus infection and all the crud that goes along with that. So, he is pumped full of medicine.

I have been pretty bummed these past two days. Seeing little Braden feel so horrible broke my heart. When he was brought out of surgery, I though I was going to lose it. He looked so pale, gray, blueish, especially his feet. When I saw them all I could think about was Adam and how his feet looked. Oh my God, did that bring back the total scene. I kept my composure and left the hospital shortly after that. I immediately went to the cemetery and cried and cried. Oh that vivid picture was flashing before my very eyes. Adam's death was before my very eyes and ripping my heart out all over again. Why dear Lord do little ones have to suffer? Thank you dear Lord for sparing my Adam from the pain he could have endured for such a very long time! Does it make it easier to say this...no. Times are hard right now and seeing a child in pain breaks my heart in two.

Dear God, some tough days are ahead, please help me be strong and brave and make it through the weekend of being with lots of kids. Seeing kids enjoy the fall, costumes, games, and candy. I am going to be seeing little precous Adam all over again. The last time he did this he was a "pirate". He enjoyed it so and thought he was so cute.
But, now my heavenly Father, he is a beautiful angel forevermore. He will watch over us always. So, to you "my little precious", I love you, miss you, and keep you close in my heart every minute of every day. Until we meet again, my little one, I love you forever and always.

Missing you!
Always,
Mom

P.S. EJ's mom has made it home...praise the Lord! Keep praying for her also.

Thursday, October 21, 2004 4:23 PM CDT

UPDATE...BEEN REALLY, REALLY BUSY!

First off, I have shifted gears on projects. I am Chair of our Children's Ministry Committee at my church so this means I work directly with the Children's Ministry Director in preparing for our Fall Festival October 31, 2004, in addition to working on the Children's Committee for the relocation of our church. These two things have kept me very busy. Also, I am team mom for Andrew's Footbal Team-BUCS and am also working on a Banquet with all
the other team moms. PROJECTS! I tell my husband there is no way I could work, what would I do with all my volunteer work. Sounds good to me....he doesn't think so sometimes.

We do not have any totals for the amount of money raised on our miscellaneous fundraisers for Childhood Cancer Awareness Month as of yet. It takes awhile. I will post when I finalize it all. Whatever it is, God has blessed us with that amount, and we are very appreciative.

We had our telphone training conference call with CURESEARCH yesterday for 1 hr. It dealt with dealing with the Media (TV, radio, newspapers). Somewhere around November 8, 9, 10, CureSearch will make a big PSA release through the sponsorship of The Ad Council. This will hopefully help spread the "need for more emphasis to be placed on CHILDHOOD CANCER FUNDING". As Team Leaders, once these ads are released, it will be our job to go out and contact the various areas of the media and tell our personal story. We are told this is really BIG and the Ads are very touching. Be in prayer about them. This will be released national wide. It was sent out to something like 1,600 TV stations, 10,500 radio stations, 19,000 magazines, and 9,500 Newspapers. Now it is whether they view the ad and run it. Team Leaders will have their work cut out for them. We pray it touches people in a way that cancer has never touched anoyone before. That people will see the need and help spread awareness as well as becoming more involved with Childhood Cancer Awareness issues. It is not a subject that anyone likes to hear about, much less with children.

MOM UPDATE: Mom is feeling wonderful. We return to the doctor we seeked a second opinion from on Tuesday, October 26th. He is researching her DNA and chemistry makeup of her plateletts. Be in prayer there also.

ANDREW: He is still having a bit of a hard time. I think reality has just now set in for him. It scares me. EJ...he thanks you for the wonderful card.

I also am dreading the next couple of months. Yesterday was 21 months since Adam's death. The season, to be dreary, has hit me in the face. Time changes...darker earlier...means I can't go to the cemetery while Andrew is at football. Occasions coming up that remind me of "Adam and his silly-self"...October 31, Andrew's Birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, 2 yr. Anniversary date...just to name a few. Oh God please be with me so that I can be strong for Andrew right now. Sometimes it's hard, but lately I have just forgotten about how I feel. He is much more important. EJ...thank you for the uplifting card again. Wow, what can I say...I am blessed with a wonderful email friend.

PRAYER REQUEST: For those of you who know EJ from "EJ's Caring Place"...pray for her mother, who is very sick right now. If you do not know her visit her site...www.caringbridge.org/il/ej She is a wonderful person and email friend who is always there when I am down. She always lifts everyone up and now you can lift her up. Thank you.

Angel Adam's Mom

Friday, October 15, 2004 10:23 PM CDT

Hope this finds everyone doing well. As for me I have been sick...sinus crud. Went to the doctor today and got a shot and a bag of medicine. Maybe that will do the trick.

We have had a quiet week, thank God, since I have not felt well. I am working on a few contacts regarding "childhood cancer awareness gold ribbon" products. Meaning trying to have some manufactures of certain items sponsor a "gold ribbon" item during the month of September. I figure it will take a year to go through all the red tape. I also talked with our local clinic and told them I would like to see them sponsor "September as Childhood Cancer Awareness Month" next year. They were receptive and said they would get back with me on specifics later. Next week we have a Team Leadership Telephone Conference Call with CureSearch which hopefully will be about the new ads that will be released. Then we will be busy having to contact various areas of the media in Texas to have it aired.

Well, I dreamed about Adam again last night. This is really starting to bother me. He was calling for me again and I could not reach him. God why is this happening? When I wake up I am totally exhausted from struggling all night trying to get to him. Lord I know I cannot reach him, but perhaps he is calling me to come there with him. Only God knows if it is my time. If it is I am more than ready. God show me the way!

MOM UPDATE: She is doing great. Off all the medicine for her plateletts and feeling better than before. Praise the Lord!

Pray for Andrew. He had a rough evening. He was very, very lonely. Tim was gone, I was feeling rotten, and he had no one to play with. He went to three of the neighbors houses to play with his friends, they too were either sick or gone. He was very frustrated, got off his bike and said "just forget it. Sometimes it is just not meant to get out of bed". Then he looked at me and asked if I ever felt that way. Lord what could I tell me...sometimes everyday, I thought to myself. It is so very hard for him to be without his brother. They spent lots of time together and got along really well even though there was an age difference. Adam looked up to his brother and wanted to do what he was doing. Andrew was such a WONDERFUL role model for Adam too. Always kind, considerate, and loving with him. God why does it have to be this way. Andrew said the other day, "Mom, why didn't God take some of those children who are abused by their parents, who would be in a better place in heaven? Why did he have to take Adam, who had a loving, happy home and was in a good place?" He wanted to know why God did not take those poor children to a better place, an eternal home in heaven. He said it seems unfair to him that a child being mistreated would have to stay on this earth. This is unexplainable even to me. I agree with him.

Well, I tell you all good night. Thank you EJ and Brianna who are always so thoughtful in checking in on me. It really means a lot. God Bless You!

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Monday, October 11, 2004 8:56 PM CDT

Hello All...Short Update!

Busy...as always. We have a wonderful praise. Last Thursday, October 7, 2004, the FCCLA (Family, Career, Community Leasders of America) Classes at the Brenham High School sponsored a program/concert benefitting Childhood Cancer Research. Mrs. Mary Kossie is the teacher for the classes and she became interested in our cause after having a student diagnosed with a tumor in the muscle behind her brain. Anyway, she wanted to do something to help spread awareness and raise funds. The group was called "STRAIGHTWAY" (www.straightway.org)and all come from a troubled past. We do not have a total, but are truly blessed by any amount raised. Thank you Mrs. Kossie and all your students. You will help make a difference in the life of a child.

Friday, I spent the day at church working on banners for our children's committee for a church fundraising campaign we are gearing up for. I love being involved in children's activities. Friday, night we pretty much took it easy and relaxed as a family. Saturday, footbal, Andrew lost 26-15. Sunday we had a great family day. We went to a Houston Texans Football game at The Reliant Stadium. It was awesome. Texans lost in overtime, but it was a great game. Andrew truly enjoyed the day. He did mention that Adam would have been so excited to see the stadium. He always thinks about him.

That brings me to a dream I had about him. I usually dream about his life with us and all we did together. This time it was a little scarey. I dreamed he was laying in the coffin reaching and crying out for me to get him out. This was awful and scared me to death. I woke up shaking. I know his body is gone. I know his spirit is alive, in heaven. He is happy, safe, and content and in the arms of Jesus until we can be together. I truly know this and trust what God tells me. I know he has an eternal life in heaven and one day we will share a forever life. I can't wait until that day. Dear Lord, keep my "little precious" safe until I can hold him again.

Good night my wonderfuly caringbridge friends. Pray that I sleep well....and not dream like that anymore.

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Wednesday, October 6, 2004 10:30 PM CDT

UPDATE ON WEDNESDAY'S CHANNEL 2 NEWS REPORT:

We did not get to meet with Krista Marino, Channel 2 today. Her usual photographer was pulled to another story and neither one of us wanted to have another one. We are used to John and he knows Adam's story. We all shared tears together and that is important to all of us. Will reschedule for next week.

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 5, 2004 11:52 PM CDT
SHORT UPDATE!

Be in prayer for Tim and I Wednesday. Channel 2, Houston, Texas, Health Reporter, Krista Marino and her photographer, will be coming to our house to do an interview with us in regards to our Team Leadership with CureSearch. She did a story on Adam last year and wants to follow-up on how we are healing and helping. We feel very comfortable with her...she is such a great person.

Today, Tuesday was a busy day. We went to the High School early this morning and spoke to two classes on "childhood cancer". The classes are called "Family, Career and Community Leaders of America". These young adults were really interested in what we have to say and are wanting to help. In fact, they are sponsoring a concert with a group called "Straight Way", (visit www.straightway.org) this Thursday, with half of the proceeds going to NCCF. They are really excited about helping us. They had a classmate diagnosed with a tumor in the muscle behind her brain this past February, so they are wanting to be involved. Their teacher, Mrs. Kossie, is really taking a wonderful role in the endeavor of "childhood cancer". The students each took a wooden stake with the gold ribbons and names of heros, warriors, and angels (the ones we used for our childhood cancer awareness ceremony) and placed them at the entrance to the school. They want all to see these names when coming to the concert Thursday.

God is truly leading us every step of the way. We don't know what we are doing next. We just sit back and wait for the call, pray about it, make our decision, then go where needed if necessary. We know God is using us to help these "sick children". We are OK with that, even though we could not do anything to save Adam. Adam would want it this way. We feel his happiness everytime we speak or make some type of appearance somewhere.

Coffee sales are still going through December. You can order yours online at www.independencecoffee.org and have $3.50 go to CureSearch-NCCF. If you are local, please call me or email and I will take your order. Perhaps at your workplace, as order sheet could be placed there, oders taken, and delivered. Think about it...if interested. Thank you for everyone who has already supported us "one bean at a time"!

Take care...have a wonderful day...and keep the guestbook entries up...I love them.

Always,
Donna

Wednesday, October 6, 2004 10:30 PM CDT

Thursday, September 30, 2004 0:11 AM CDT

IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY CHECKED OUT THE PHOTO ALBUM...DO SO, NEW PHOTOS.

Well, of course it's late...you know me, can't sleep. We have had a very busy two weeks. Wonderful things are happening with CureSearch...some advertising should start this next month, both on television and radio. Tim and I, as Team Leaders, will assist in having these ads spread. We will meet with various areas of the news media in Texas to have these ads run. We are just waiting on our instructions. Tim will also be speaking to a group in Houston this Friday regarding a program called "The Workplace" and donations directed toward CureSearch. I will not be attending this as I will be accompanying Andrew's class to The George Bush Library, and afterwards, he and I staying and having a date for the evening. I am looking forward to one-on-one time with him.

Last Friday, we set up two tents outside Wal-Mart and passed out various materials on childhood cancer and collected donations. Most were small donations, loose change, etc. However, we collected around $500 which we were very pleased with. People seemed to be very receptive and concerned. Once again, the awareness was our main focus.

Saturday evening we attended the Parents Against Cancer "Starlight, Starbright Extravaganza" in The Woodlands, Texas. This is the event that featured Adam as the Memory Child last year. This year was still very hard for us because slides of Adam were on the big screen in addition to him being in the program. We are so blessed by the friends that we have. There were 10 Stars placed in Memory of Adam at the event, which was the most for any one person. We know he was looking down and smiling.

One thing I do want to share with you is that GOD LISTENS, FOCUS ON THE FAMILY "DR. JAMES DOBSON LISTENS". Tim and I spent around an hour and a half on the telephone this morning with a Chaplin from Dr. James Dobson's "Focus on the Family". They called us regarding our ministry they read about. One thing is for sure, they do care and they do listen. We shared stories about Adam's life, his sudden illness, his death, and now his legacy, and our ministry in his memory. We laughed, we cried, we prayed. What an awesome opportunity to share....stories of Adam with "people who really do care".

The death of Adam has taught me so much. My emotions seem to be like a roller coaster...up and down, up and down. One thing I have learned through all of this is to rely on God to show me the way, the right path, the road to eternal happiness. I know that way is through him and not the ways of the world. Man can sometimes be filled with bittness and try to drag you down with him. This is when I have to truly listen to God.
EPHESIANS 4:31-32 SAYS:
GET RID OF ALL BITTERNESS, RAGE AND ANGER, BRAWLING AND SLANDER, ALONG WITH EVERY FORM OF MALICE. BE KIND AND COMPASSIONATE TO ONE ANOTHER, FORGIVING EACH OTHER, JUST AS IN CHRIST GOD FORGAVE YOU.
I know that bittnerness grieves the Holy Spirit. Forgiving, kind, and compassionate describes the attitude that is a result of a Christian. One way to be more like God is to have a forgiving spirit. When I tend to be angered I read this and tell myself I want to imitate God, not man. What better way is there than to imitate the Lord and act "just as" he did...and not man. I do forgive those who wrong me and I too ask that they forgive me for whatever they feel I have wronged them on. I do not want bitterness, jealousy, and anger in my life...I have no room for it. God has too many other wonderful plans in store for me. Bitterness is not the way to the Lord.

MOM UPDATE: Our visit with the doctor regarding a second opinion went well. What an awesome doctor. He and a fellow doctor spent 2 yrs. with us...answering all mom's questions. Guess what, he took her off the medicine the doctor previously put her on and said as of three weeks ago, things have changed in regard to her disease and both medicines tend to cause bleeding in the brain. This doctor researches just this disease and will be running a special DNA test on her to determine her exact diagnosis and the best and safest treatment. Once again, God placed a wonderful doctor in her path. PRAISE GOD! The testing takes about 3 weeks...she goes back in a month. Thank you for praying and continue to do so.

Well, good night(or rather good morning), and God bless each of you. May he be the "CENTER" of your life.

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom
Donna

Sunday, September 19, 2004 10:14 PM CDT

SEE NEW PHOTOS IN PHOTA ALBUM OF MY LITTLE PRECIOUS!

Last couple of days...hard, very hard. Sometimes I do not understand people at all. Some just do not understand why Tim and I don't "LET IT GO", as they say. Our child is GONE and why do we want to bring up OFFENSIVE issues as they call it.

As you can tell, this has really gotten me down. I cannot imagine anyone calling "childhood cancer" an OFFENSIVE issue. Someone clearly did not look up the meaning of the word or they would not have used it. No, it is not a pleasant issue that we enjoy talking about, but we made a choice at the very beginning of Adam's death. (1) We could crawl in a hole and bury ourselves along with his death; or (2) We could turn to God and do something about it...make a difference. We have CHOSEN TO SEEK GOD AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

HEBREWS 11:6 SAYS: And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.

We have not allowed man to discourage us in our efforts. If we listen to man...we would have already thrown in the towel. God is our guidance...all the way. When we hear a "halt" from him...then that is when we will follow his orders. Thus far, that has not been the case. In fact, just about the time man says something negative, we get a message from God that keeps us going along even stronger. There are so many families out there that have suffered with a child having cancer for years. These poor families are not emotionally, physically, or financially able to do what God has allowed Tim and I to do. These families have to focus on their sick child. This is their top priority and should be. As I mentioned before, we did not have that, Adam received his angel wings much too soon. He did not have time to "be sick". We feel that God had a purpose for "Adam's short life on earth", and he now has a purpose for us "to carry out the childhood cancer awareness/funding issue". We simply want to help. We saw the need in just the short time Adam became ill.

EXCITING NEWS: Some of you may have watched the "Miss America" pageant last night and met our new queen from Alabama. I failed to watch it but at church this morning, several people shared some wonderful news with us about her. Go to www.missamerica.org (click on Press Release for Miss America 2005). This is awesome news...her platform the the entire year is "CHILDHOOD CANCER". This could be a major breakthrough. We are praying that she will be able to open the hearts and minds of America to the major need for awareness/funding for children. We feel God has answered another prayer. We will be trying our best to see if some how some way we can get her connected with CureSearch-NCCF! If anyone has any contacts, please let us know.

Our second bit of good news. Andrew sold his pen of 3 heifers at the fair Friday night. Praise God! He did awesome. He sold for $1,900 a head...which totals $5,700. He sold for more than the Reserve Grand Champion ($1,500) and just under the Grand Chamption ($2,200). Prior to writing his essay for the recordbook, he had decided to contribute some of his winnnings to CureSearch-NCCF in memory of his brother. He plans on recouping his original cost of buying the heifers and all his expenses over this past year, then donating the rest. This total could be somewhere around $1,800.00. We are so very, very proud of him. We know his brother is looking down and smiling.
He also won third for Best Pen Exhibit and an additional $25.

Well, God Bless each of you and thank you for lifting my spirits. EJ...thank you for all your continued cards, thoughts, and prayers...you are the greatest!

REMEMBER TO VISIT www.independencecoffee.com
and help support "Childhood Cancer" one bean at a time!

Always,
Donna

Friday, September 17, 2004 9:16 AM CDT

WHAT A WEEK!

Things have been moving rather quickly in our lives right now. With this month being National Childhood Cancer Awareness Month, Tim and I have been working hard on spreading the awareness. God is good and it is working. We have had lots of good response. We would also like for you to pray for Tim and I as we have undertaken a big job...we have been asked to be "Team Leaders" for the State of Texas for CureSearch-NCCF. They tell us we have been doing it already on our own. We will now have to go to Washington D.C. maybe 3 times a year and help lead in advocacy of childhood cancer on Capitol Hill. The Lord will lead us every step of the way. A representative from Maryland will be flying into Houston, next week Thursday to meet with some individuals regarding fundraising. Tim and I have been asked to participate in these meetings. Sometimes I think "what in God's name are we really doing"? What are we going to say or do? God only knows. We never prepare a speech, we just let the Good Lord allow words that are for his glory flow from our tongues. So, we need your prayers.

Our fundraising efforts are going great this month. The Independence Coffee Co. now has a page on their website set up ...please visit it at www.independencecoffee.com and email it to all your friends. They are working so hard with us and we are so excited, as the Bonds say "ONE BEAN AT A TIME". We ask for anyone who drinks coffee to help support a great cause.

As for me, well, a really bad week. I have been crying every day. Adam is continuously on my mind, every where I go. I can just see him at the Fair with Andrew...he was always so proud of his brother showing his animals. His desire was to show "a pig pink with a curly tail". Andrew wanted to go and see the pigs and it was all I could do to keep from bursting into tears. I refrained until I got home. Of course, I had the big birthday this week...which I asked the guys to not make a big deal of it at all. They didn't, they respected my wishes. Adam was always big on wanting to make a cake, a chocolate cake, and flowers. He would get in the kitchen with Tim and Andrew and have chocolate everywhere. He was always so proud of his endeavor. Now, I don't want that, nor does Andrew, it's not the same, and never will be. The guys took me to eat at our friends restaurant (I was not wanting to leave the house at all.)which was very quiet, thank God. We were able to sit in the back without any attention. Lately when we go somewhere, someone always comes up and talks about what we are doing for childhood cancer. It makes it difficult because then Tim turns to that conversation and it makes Andrew very uncomfortable. We escaped that subject on this particular evening. There were no flowers either. I know I already had one birthday without Adam, but I think I was still "out of it last year", so this year it has really hit me between the eyes that he is not here anymore. I will not receive that kiss, chocolate cake from his little hands, and wildflowers from the field...I will only have memories from now on. This is very hard to accept.

MOM UPDATE: She went to the doctor this week...which I have not gone back to this doctor with her since our disagreement. They did bloodwork and her plateletts seem to be about the same as last week. He did increase her dosage to three pills a day. She is suppose to go back to him on the 28th, but we cancelled since we will be going to Houston for a second opinion on that day. Keep her in your prayers. She seems to feel better about taking this medication. She has been under the weather though...went to her medical doctor yesterday for a sinus infection, etc. She has just been feeling rotten.

Well, I'll say bye for now. We have a big day today. Andrew will sell his pen heifers at the fair tonight. We are praying and hoping someone will notice what he is doing with his money (partial donation to CureSearch) and place an awesome bid. We are not making a big deal of it, at his request. We just simply have some brochures he will pass out...if people read it they will know what he is doing. Keep him in your prayers today.

God Bless all of you. Pray especially for the Dinah Matthews family (www.caringbridge.org/tx/dinahmatthews) as they are having a struggle with the doctors. God will prevail!

Always,
Donna

Sunday, September 12, 2004 11:20 PM CDT

PRAISE THE LORD FOR ALL WHO ATTENDED THE "WASHINGTON COUNTY, TEXAS CHILDHOOD CANCER AWARENESS DAY"!

First off, I thank God for leading us in this mission, every step of the way. Thursday was wonderful. We had approximately 50 people in attendance at the courthouse. We placed approximately 20 Gold Ribbon Stakes on the courthouse lawn with names of children who are either HEROES, WARRIORS, OR ANGELS to childhood cancer. We had several others say they had seen the article in the newspaper and wanted to place their child's name on a stake. So, the awareness if spreading, PRAISE THE LORD! Our County Judge, Dorothy Morgan, led the ceremony. We thank her for all her support. She has been so instrumental in helping us make this day happen and wants to continue supporting it and watch it grow. Tim was a little nervous, but managed to get through the ceremony without breaking down. He spoke and did a wonderful job. We owe a gratitude of thanks to our local newspaper and especially to Arthur Hahn (neighbor and Managing Editor at the Banner)and has been following our endeavors every step of the way. He did a front page story on Friday which covered the ceremony. In addition, we had an 8 page Childhood Cancer Awareness insert in that day's paper. Arthur assisted us with this project and did a wonderful job. THANK YOU ARTHUR!

I mentioned in one of my past journals about the a local coffee company donating $3.50 to each 1 lb. bag of coffee sold (bag sells for $9.50)to CureSearch-NCCF, which is starting our great. Thank you to all who have purchased coffee, placed orders, etc. You can visit their website at www.independencecoffee.com and click on the CureSearch Tab...ordering information etc. is available here. (Please bear with the errors as we are working hard to get it running so orders can be taken.) Thank you so much, Christi and Ragan. What a heart you have!

Keep us in your prayers tomorrow. Tim and I will be speaking to the faculty at Andrew's school in the afternoon and then to the Pilot Club in the evening. We have a busy day. You would not believe how many inquiries we are receiving. GREAT! Busy, but great.

This week is also our Washington County Fair Week...busy, busy. Andrew has some art work, photography, and will be showing a pen of 3 commerical heifers. We have a lot to get ready for that. He usually sells his heifers from anywhere between $1,000 to $1,200 each. Which this year the cattle prices are up so he is expecting to make more. He also has to prepare a written recordbook of his year long project. This recordbook is reviewed by a panel of judges and if it qualifies, he is called in for a personal interview before the panel of judges. This makes him very nervous. He has shown for 3 yrs. now and been called in every time. Last year he placed second and won an additional $100 for it. Well, this year, he has decided to do something special....HE IS GOING TO DONATE TO CURESEARCH-NATIONAL CHILDHOOD CANCER FOUNDATION. He will donate whatever amount is over what he has in the project. He wants to do this in memory of his brother. We are so proud and touched by his generosity. We know Adam is proud of him right now.

MOM UPDATE: A PRAISE. I don't remember if I mentioned about the conflict with her doctor regarding chemo...anyway, she chose not to take chemo. There was a secondary drug, which is not chemo, that she started taking. After one week of being on the drug, her platelet count went from 969,000 to 716,000. This is wonderful. Just pray that this continues to bring her count down. That means less risks for her. She returns for bloodwork on Tues. Sept. 14th, and then we go to Houston on the 28th for a second opinion. She feels so much better about this drug than the chemo that was suggested.

Well, getting late and I have lots to do yet. Thank you for being with me today. HELP SPREAD THE AWARENESS. Remember to go to www.independencecoffee.com and buy some coffee and support CureSearch, one bean at a time.

PROMISES FOR PARENTS
Be glad for all God is planning for you. Be patient...and prayerful always. (Romans 12:12 TLB)

God Bless You!
Always,
Donna

Thursday, September 9, 2004 0:39 AM CDT

TODAY IS THE BIG DAY! PLEASE PRAY FOR US. WE ARE TOTALLY RELYING ON GOD TO HELP US PUT THIS AWARENESS CEREMONY TOGETHER.

Ok, you see what time it is...whee morning hours in Texas. Of course, I have a thousand things on my mind and can't sleep. Worried about 11:00 a.m.

Yesterday I had to go in to Houston to pick up some things for the program. Of course I had my gold angel ribbon on. I wear it everyday, but today it seemed like everyone noticed it and asked what it was for. No one seems to know about it. So, there went the Adam story over and over and how we are trying to spread the awareness about "Childhood Cancer". But, God is with me every step of the way. Every time I tell my story, it hurts less. Not that it is getting easier, but telling it allows me to deal with it. I know that what we are doing will help other children. I tell myself, if I couldn't help my child, maybe I can help another.

If you have a gold ribbon, wear it this month. Support Childhood Cancer Awareness...visit www.curesearch.org or nccf.org.

I will let you know how the ceremony turns out/

God Bless You!

Donna

Monday, September 6, 2004 3:27 PM CDT

HAPPY LABOR DAY!

This has always been sort of a "down" weekend for us. It marks the end of summer and at the same time a very busy time ahead. September...school is back, children involved in activities, and fair for Andrew. We spent most of the weekend working on the commercial pen heifer fair project, art entries, and photgraphy entries with Andrew. He usually does well.

We have also been very busy with the "Childhood Cancer Awareness" campaign. We are in full force in spreading the word. This Thursday, September 9th, 11:00 a.m. we have organized a ceremony at the Courthouse Square. Our County Judge will speak in addition to other officials. Some childhood cancer survivors are expressing their interest in sharing a word or two with the community. We will place gold ribbons on the lawn to honor survivors, children undergoing treatment, and those who have lost their battle with this disease. This will just include those within our county (Washington County, Texas) at this time...our hope is to expand on this year after year until we have an annual event with a run or mini-marathon, etc. We also have various donation cans set up around down in addition to having teamed up with a local coffee company (Independence Coffee Co.) who will be donating $3.50 per bag (bag sells for $9.50) toward CureSearch-National Childhood Cancer Foundation during the month of September. If anyone wishes to support this event please visit their website at www.independencecoffee.com for information. This would be a great time to purchase gifts and have money go to a wonderful organization at the same time. You may also visit www.nccf.org for information on this national organization, which Tim and I are advocates with, for ways to spread the awareness and support FINDING A CURE.

As you can see, the awareness is spreading. Help Support CURESEARCH in becoming closer to finding a cure for childhood cancer. Thank you for being a part of our caringbridge family. God Bless You!

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Wednesday, September 1, 2004 11:57 AM CDT

SHORT UPDATE!
SEPTEMBER....CHILDHOOD CANCER AWARENESS MONTH!

We have hit the ground running....today is the first of the month and our big push in spreading Childhood Cancer Awareness. God is so good! Some wonderful people and opportunities have opened up for Tim and I regarding this issue. We have lots of work ahead of us this month and lots of decisions to make. We will be visiting with some of the TV stations, newspapers etc. on this topic. It seems like God has taken us under his wing and we are letting him totally lead us in what to do and how. Our main goal is "helping children with cancer". Remember to visit www.nccf.org which is the national organization we went to Washington with. Great things are happening.

Will keep you updated...have a meeting scheduled with a local coffee company who is uniting with us in our awareness program. Praise the Lord!

MOM UPDATE: Dr. visit yesterday...pretty heated...trying to start her on chemo which we are questioning due to the toxicity of the drug and the fact that she will have to be on it the rest of her life. We are taking an alternative drug with less toxicity for the time being until we seek a second opinion. Please keep her in your prayers. She is pretty concerned and upset at this point.

Thank you for your love and concern.

As always,
Angel Adam's Mom

THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 2, 2004

Well, another great day. What an awesome God we have. Wonderful things are happening regarding the spread of the awareness. We now have a Proclamation from our State Representative Lois Kolkhorst which was signed in Austin, declaring it "Childhood Cancer Awareness Month" for the entire state of Texas. My wonderful husband has been running non-stop on this project. Yeah, accomplished!

Tim also appeared "live" on Channel 3 (KBTX-CBS) today at noon. Brenda Simms did a very short segment on Childhood Cancer Awareness and Tim shared a brief portion of how he became involved with the national organization. Every small segment of publicity we can get out there helps. You to can do your part by spreading the awareness. Log on to www.childhoodcancerawareness.org and find ways in which to do this. You don't have to have a child with "cancer" or have lost one. We need everyone! Most of the families who have gone through this are beat down to nothing mentally, physically, emotionally, and financially. It is those of us who have not gone through a long ordeal that need to be helping. This is why we have chosen to do so. We did not have any time with Adam, he died too fast. We know now that God had big plans for us. Plans for us to do exactly what we are doing SPREADING AWARENESS and helping other children who have been attacked by this "devil". Together we can beat him down or at least save a few more children from being destroyed by him. Funding is desperately needed. Write your congressmen and ask them to support the funding for childhood cancer. It is the second leading cause of death in children. Let's beat it down.

MOM UPDATE: We spoke with a pharmacist yesterday, who was very, very helpful. She confirmed our concerns for the first chem drug they wanted to put mom on. The alternative drug we asked the doctor to prescribe is not chemo and has less toxicity. Mom was so relieved. She worried and cried all day yesterday. Keep her in your prayers. We go back next week for blood tests to see what the drug is or is not doing. Pray that her plattlets lower and the drug works. We are scheduled for a second opinion on Sept. 28 in Houston, Texas.

Once again, thanks for your love, support, and most of all continued prayers.

As Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Tuesday, August 24, 2004 11:20 AM CDT

Well, yesterday was a pretty emotional day for me. This would have been Adam's first day of "First Grade". The one year he looked so forward to. He called it a "Big First Grader", where his brother would be a "Sixth Grader". He always talked about how he would get to go to Chapel and look up at his brother in the balcony. Now, as Andrew says, "I will never be looking down and Adam, he will always be looking down on me...watching over me, instead of me watching over him. He is the "leader" and I am the follower". Wow, how powerful. Andrew sees Adam's death as such a wonderful, powerful thing. He lead the way for all of us. This is why we have become some passionate about becoming involved in Childhood Cancer Awareness. This is what Adam would want us to do for him. Every child to him was "a baby", precious, he would say. He is so right. All children are precious. A gift from God that is totally on loan to us as a parent. When God calls for his children back, we must obey.

In November and December 2002, just a couple of months before Adam's death, I was hosting a Women's Bible Study at my house title "The Power of a Praying Parent". Why this class at this time in my life...was God preparing me? Perhaps he was, and now as I stumbled across my notes from one of the weeks...read this very powerful question, and listen to my answer:

QUESTION: Is there any reason why it would be difficult for you to fully release your child into God's hands? Explain your answer.

ANSWER: My answer was No and Yes.
NO...Because I know God needs my child and that he actually belongs to him. I was simply entrusted by God to care for him until God chooses to call for him again.
YES...Because even though he would be with is father in heaven, it would be very hard to be without him. I would not be able to hold his physical body or see him until we meet in heaven one day. How long could that be?

Well, after reading what I wrote after Adam's death, it gave me chills. I truly know that the Holy Spirit was preparing me for what was about to take place in my life. Did I now it at the time? No. Did I suspect it? No. Do any us us? No. So, always know as precious as our children are to us, they are only on loan. Treat them with love, care, and kindness because we may be fortunate enough to have them for 30, 40, or 50 years plus, but then God may call for them back far sooner that we ever thought.

I know God called for my Adam very soon, but I also know he is with his "heavenly Father" and doing well. No pain, no fear, no heartaches, no suffering, no cruelty, just living his eternal life. Until we can be together "HOPE" in the Lord of an eteranl life with him is how I get through. Trust in the Lord!

Have a great day!
Always,
Donna

Friday, August 20, 2004 9:31 PM CDT

SHORT UPDATE!

The week started out busy and hard. The old devil is trying to knock me back a step or two in my efforts to march forward with "Adam's Angels Ministry". As you know, my friend and I have been pounding the keyboard hard finalizing a brochure and other materials needed. So, my hands are busy....typing. So what happens, an accident with my hand. I sheared off a small portion of my fingertip and nail in a gardening accident. A trip to the ER, a tetanus shot, nothing to stitch, and a wrapped finger that I have to watch for infections is what I end up with. Yes, the old devil attacked what I am using the most of right now. That's ok, I will just have to peck along on the keyboard a lot slower for a while. I refuse to let this stop me.

Tim and I will be attending our local Commissioner's Court Tuesday to make our local officials more aware of the need for "Childhood Cancer Awareness". The month of September will be recognized in our county as "Childhood Cancer Awareness Month" in addition to setting a day aside to have a program. Our goal is to spread awareness so that people will realize how many of our children are suffering from this disease. We also hope to collect donations that may be contributed toward this cause. Please be in prayer as we focus on this mission over the next month. If anyone is interested in starting something in their community, please visit the following website:
www.nccf.org
Online donations may also be made at this site. There are not enough monies and funding available for childhood cancer....these are OUR CHILDREN, YOUR CHILDREN, and THE FUTURE GENERATION we are talking about.

May God Bless each and every one of you. May the Lord fill your days with love, peace, hope, and joy. Thank you for being a part of "my CaringBridge Family"...with the help of "My Sweet Jesus" and you, you keep my spirits lifted high.

Always,
Donna

Saturday, August 14, 2004 10:44 PM CDT

UPDATED ENTRY SUNDAY, AUGUST 15, 2004

I pray for the lost. God Be With You!

I CORINTHIANS 13:2 SAYS: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

SATURDAY, AUGUST 14, 2004 10:44 PM

I pray that I remain positive during this update so that the words that come from my mouth will be pleasing to God.

I open with this wording from my PROMISES FOR PARENTS:

THE IMPORTANCE OF SPENDING TIME WITH OUR CHILDREN
IS A TRUISM THAT NEEDS TO BE REPEATED
AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE.
TIME IS A NON-RENEWABLE RESOURCE;
ONCE IT'S GONE, IT'S GONE.

Those words are so true...time non-renewable! Our children are important. I would like to share something I ran across that really hits home sometimes...read it and see what you think...ever been there?

FAMILY

I ran into a stranger as he passed by,
"Oh excuse me please," was my reply.
He said, "Please excuse me too;
I wasn't watching for you."
We were very polite, this stranger and I.
We went on our way and we said good-bye.

But at home a different story is told,
How we treat our loved ones, young and old.
Later that day, cooking the evening meal,
My son stood beside me very still.
When I turned, I nearly knocked him down.
"Move out of the way," I said with a frown.
He walked away, his little heart broken.
I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.

While I lay awake in bed, God's still
Small voice came to me and said,
"While dealing with a stranger, commom courtesy you use,
But the children you love, you seem to abuse.
Go and look on the kitchen floor,
You'll find some flowers there by the door.
Those flowers he brought for you.
He picked them himself: pink, yellow, and blue.
He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise,
You never saw the tears that filled his little eyes."

By this time, I felt very small,
And now my tears began to fall.
I quietly went and knelt by his bed;
"Wake up, little one, wake up," I said.
"Are these the flowers you picked for me?"
He smiled, "I found 'em, out by the tree.
I picked 'em because they're pretty like you.
I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue."
I said, "Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today;
I shouldn't have yelled at you that way."
He said, "Oh Mom, that's okay. I love you anyway."
I said, "Son I love you too, and I do like the flowers,
especially the blue."

FAMILY
So what does this mean...
Are you aware that if we died tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of a day. But, the family we left behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.

And come to think of it, we pour ouselves more into work than into our own family, an unwise investment indeed, don't you think?
So what is behind this story?
Do you know what the word F-A-M-I-L-Y means?

FAMILY =
(F) Father
(A) And
(M) Mother
(I) I
(L) Love
(Y) You

We need to realize how much our children love us, and unconditionally, just as God loves each one of us unconditionally. All children ask for is a little love and a little time. All God asks for is a little love and a little of our time. After all, once it's gone, it's gone, NON-RENEWABLE!

HOW ARE WE DOING? Ok, been to two funerals in the last week of really close friends. There was a third, but we couldn't handle another. You have to know how much you can handle. Trying to close out my dad's estate. Putting closure on that is difficult. I feel as if it will be final closure on a lot of things in regard to my siblings. I have prayed over and over about this situation, but now feel closure is the best. I will continue to love them and pray for them but just know there is not a "sibling relationship" present, nor can there be right now. I feel this is what they want.

MOM UPDATE: Been going twice a week for iron treatments. This past week to the cardiologist also...that turned out great. Her EKG and Echocardiogram look good, except for a small leaking valve in the heart. The doctor says it is not enough to do anything about since she has no blockage or any other problems. Praise the Lord for that. Wednesday we will go back to the Hematologist for a final report on the iron status, Venofer injection, and Pharatin (Iron) Test. I think we should know something that day. If I recall I think they read the Pharatin results right away. Keep her in your prayers.

Now that I have carried on forever, hopefully this will be saved. Thanks for all your words of encouragement. As a mom who has lost a child, it is uplifting to know that us "Angel Baby Moms" are not forgotten. We need prayers and encouragement more that I can ever tell you.

Always,
Donna

Wednesday, August 11, 2004 4:52 PM CDT

SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING. I AM NOT HAPPY RIGHT NOW!

I spent a long time last night pouring out some feeling and updating and lo and behold....it is not there. Maybe the good Lord was telling me I was not suppose to enter that update. Anyway...I will try later. Been busy, and a little down and out, so I guess it was for the best.

Always,
Donna

Sunday, August 1, 2004 6:10 PM CDT

Yes, it has been a while since I updated. With the last entry I figured no one really wanted to read my depressing enteries. Sorry, every once in a while that happens.

I have actually had a busy week. Andrew was in football camp for four hours a day, then two hour practices at night, so we ran quite a bit. When I wasn't doing that I was "hiding in the closets". (Literally)! I felt that way, plus I have been getting things lined out for school. Andrew and I pretty much have his room in order...just need to get the airplane scene he wants painted on his wall. We also organized old pictures, video tapes, etc. The other day he asked what was on the video tapes and I said "you and Adam". At that point he asked if he could watch them. Tim sits down and watches them quite often, myself...only once. Andrew has never done it...this would be a first.

The tape I happened to put in was of Adam when he was about 13 months old. He loved music and dancing. Anyway, we had a Neil Diamond tape playing and he was just-a-dancing to it, smiling, and shaking his rear. Andrew said, "look mom he was shaking his rear even back then". He was so excited to see him and remember how happy of a child he was. It hurt to see my baby on screen knowing I would never see him in person again. I know it hurt Andrew too. He was really quiet and said that he was the best brother a boy could ever have. After about 20 minutes of watching it, he said, "that's enough mom, turn it off". I immediately stopped the tape. It was so hard to hold back the tears, but I managed for Andrew's sake. The two of us have been having some good bonding time lately and I think it is because I am not crying all the time. Not that I don't do it silently, but I refrain in front of him. I think this has helped him open up and begin to deal with Adam's death. Maybe he sees that I am able to cope so now he can express his feeling about Adam to me. I want that so. I want to be here for him and be a good mom, not a mom that is crying all the time about a son that is totally safe and happy in heaven. I have to focus on the son here on this earth. This earth is where my living son can be exposed to some of the horrible, rotten things that go on. So...in saying that, I am trying very hard to look at things differently. I have decided to not focus on Adam outwardly at home or outside home. I will do my memorializing of my son in silence or at his gravesite.

MOM UPDATE: If it all makes any sense, who knows. They are not totally sure. Here is what we have:
FLOW CYTOMETRY ANALYSIS: Visability 93no abnormal cells
present by flow cytometry.
PHENOTYPE: Mixed population of maturing myeloid cells, B-cells, T-cells. No abnormal myeloid maturation or increase in CD34 positive blasts seen.
INTERPREATION: In sample analyzed, no evidence for an acute leukemia, lymphoprolifertive disorder or plasma cell dyscrasia (see comments).
COMMENTS: Given the significant hemodilution of the flow sample, it is likely that the flow findings do no completely represent the bone marrow status. Bone marrow in certain myeloproliferative disorders is quite difficult to aspirate.

SO WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? Who knows. Adam's doctor is going to call me and go over it all with me. However, mom's doctor was saying he was 99ure it is myeloproliferative disorder...which it may not be from reading this. Also, we did find out that her body is not absorbing iron at all. She has been taking it orally now for 4 months and the report shows no iron present at all.

WHAT ARE WE DOING ABOUT THIS? Present time, driving into Bryan-College Station twice a week (45 miles each way) for iron through an IV in addition to blood being drawn once a week. This will continue around 6 weeks. Then, the iron will cause her red blood count to be too high, thus we will then go in to have blood difused from her. If this happens then they will clearly know she has Polycythemia vera. Not the disease we want between the two. But, we will deal with it at the time....with God's help.

So, now that I have rattled on...I will say God Bless all of my dear email friends. EJ....thank you for always being here to lift me up so that I can soar again. You were sent to me by God.

Always,
Donna

Sunday, August 1, 2004 6:10 PM CDT

Yes, it has been a while since I updated. With the last entry I figured no one really wanted to read my depressing enteries. Sorry, every once in a while that happens.

I have actually had a busy week. Andrew was in football camp for four hours a day, then two hour practices at night, so we ran quite a bit. When I wasn't doing that I was "hiding in the closets". (Literally)! I felt that way, plus I have been getting things lined out for school. Andrew and I pretty much have his room in order...just need to get the airplane scene he wants painted on his wall. We also organized old pictures, video tapes, etc. The other day he asked what was on the video tapes and I said "you and Adam". At that point he asked if he could watch them. Tim sits down and watches them quite often, myself...only once. Andrew has never done it...this would be a first.

The tape I happened to put in was of Adam when he was about 13 months old. He loved music and dancing. Anyway, we had a Neil Diamond tape playing and he was just-a-dancing to it, smiling, and shaking his rear. Andrew said, "look mom he was shaking his rear even back then". He was so excited to see him and remember how happy of a child he was. It hurt to see my baby on screen knowing I would never see him in person again. I know it hurt Andrew too. He was really quiet and said that he was the best brother a boy could ever have. After about 20 minutes of watching it, he said, "that's enough mom, turn it off". I immediately stopped the tape. It was so hard to hold back the tears, but I managed for Andrew's sake. The two of us have been having some good bonding time lately and I think it is because I am not crying all the time. Not that I don't do it silently, but I refrain in front of him. I think this has helped him open up and begin to deal with Adam's death. Maybe he sees that I am able to cope so now he can express his feeling about Adam to me. I want that so. I want to be here for him and be a good mom, not a mom that is crying all the time about a son that is totally safe and happy in heaven. I have to focus on the son here on this earth. This earth is where my living son can be exposed to some of the horrible, rotten things that go on. So...in saying that, I am trying very hard to look at things differently. I have decided to not focus on Adam outwardly at home or outside home. I will do my memorializing of my son in silence or at his gravesite.

MOM UPDATE: If it all makes any sense, who knows. They are not totally sure. Here is what we have:
FLOW CYTOMETRY ANALYSIS: Visability 93%; no abnormal cells
present by flow cytometry.
PHENOTYPE: Mixed population of maturing myeloid cells, B-cells, T-cells. No abnormal myeloid maturation or increase in CD34 positive blasts seen.
INTERPREATION: In sample analyzed, no evidence for an acute leukemia, lymphoprolifertive disorder or plasma cell dyscrasia (see comments).
COMMENTS: Given the significant hemodilution of the flow sample, it is likely that the flow findings do no completely represent the bone marrow status. Bone marrow in certain myeloproliferative disorders is quite difficult to aspirate.

SO WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? Who knows. Adam's doctor is going to call me and go over it all with me. However, mom's doctor was saying he was 99% sure it is myeloproliferative disorder...which it may not be from reading this. Also, we did find out that her body is not absorbing iron at all. She has been taking it orally now for 4 months and the report shows no iron present at all.

WHAT ARE WE DOING ABOUT THIS? Present time, driving into Bryan-College Station twice a week (45 miles each way) for iron through an IV in addition to blood being drawn once a week. This will continue around 6 weeks. Then, the iron will cause her red blood count to be too high, thus we will then go in to have blood difused from her. If this happens then they will clearly know she has Polycythemia vera. Not the disease we want between the two. But, we will deal with it at the time....with God's help.

So, now that I have rattled on...I will say God Bless all of my dear email friends. EJ....thank you for always being here to lift me up so that I can soar again. You were sent to me by God.

Always,
Donna

Monday, July 26, 2004 11:59 PM CDT

Hello All! Short Update. Sorry it has taken me awhile, but Andrew has kept me very busy this past week. As I mentioned, we have gone through his room and cleaned from top to bottom. Did we actually throw any toys away? What do you think? NO! He really has a hard time parting with most of them always going back to the fact when he and Adam played with this, that, or the other. So, we just packed them up for the attic above our garage. It is getting pretty full. One day maybe he will be ready to go through that. However, he is now playing in Adam's room. That's a big step because he would not go in it at all. He finally decided on Saturday to go to the cemetery and redo Adam's grave. It really looks nice. He is so proud of the things he bought for him on vacation. God he misses his brother so. It really, really hurts to see him yearn for that brotherly love.

As far as me, well Sunday was a rotten day. Stayed home from church. First off I did not feel too well and second, I didn't feel like crying through the service. Andrew opted to stay with me. He has really been wanting to spend lots of time with me. I need that too.

Tim...he seems to be pretty quiet these days. Adam's death is getting to him. It was one and a half years on the 20th.

Update on Mom: Bone aspiration - clear, see some cluster of cells (what does that mean, who relly knows); Chromosome analysis - still waiting on; Iron Stains - Negative (meaning her body is not absorbing any iron at all). The question is what is happening to the iron that she is taking by mouth? Now, we are driving 45 minutes twice a week to have iron infusions by vein. What will that do? Yes, increase the iron, but also the red blood count, which we do not want. Once this happens they say they will then have a clear diagnosis. Not something we think we want to hear. It will most likely be a disease called "Polycythemia vera" which is worse than the "Myeloproliferative disorder". Once this happens we will then have to go in and have blood taken from her. One hell-of-a-deal, right? Crazy and scarey. This disease really bothers me because I have read that it usually develops slowly and patients do not experience many problems; however, the bone marrow can grow uncontrollably and lead to acute myelogenous leukemia. They tell me this is rare...but so was Adam's case, and my dad's case, and they are both gone. My family seems to do RARE well. Do I feel reassured...No. I sometimes feel like they are not telling me everything...thinking I am going to crack. Maybe I will, who knows. But, I deserve to know everything. I just sit back and wait for "my day" of diagnosis to come.

Dear God, please help me turn to you at times like this. Times when I feel totally helpless and abandoned.

Always,
Donna

Monday, July 19, 2004 11:46 PM CDT

Well, feeling pretty low these days. It is 1 1/2 yrs. since Adam's death. I seem to be missing Adam more and more each day. Tim and I both have spent the last few days crying. I had a moment of feeling like I needed to run in church on Sunday. Then Monday, I decided to finally get to the grocery store (my house had no food, literally). Since returning from vacation, I have not felt like getting out to go. I didn't feel like seeing people. Ever felt like that? I don't even feel like talking to anyone. When I was by myself last week, it felt great. Life in general just seems "rotten" these days. Please pray.

Update on Mom... will find out the results of the bone marrow aspiration on Thursday, July 22. I tell you one thing, my heart goes out to the parents that have to watch this procedure performed on their children. It really got to me. I am so glad Adam did not have to experience that.

News on Andrew: He is starting his football practice today. He is so excited. He is also making progress in dealing with Adam's death. He took a shower in their bathroom for the first time about a week ago. Otherwise, he wanted it left just the way it was the last night they took their bath together. He has also asked if he can redo some of the decor in the bathroom. He removed Adam's tub toys and put them away in a basket. He has decided to move some of his toys into Adam's room and is playing in there for a while. At the same time, he also wants his room changed, so we are working on that. I am so glad he is sharing his feelings with me; however, it is hard to see some of the things go. It's a part of Adam that will be no more. That is so hard to accept. I know we all need to move forward, but how in the "hell" do you do it? God help me is all I can ask. Andrew also went and picked out some flowers to put on his brother's grave and he has lots of souveniors from our vacation he wants to place out on the grave also. Now, I wait to see when he is actually ready to go and work there. He is very definite about when he does or doen not want to go. I only take him on his terms.

Well, enough of my sadness. Thank you friends for being a part of my life.

Always,
Donna

Tuesday, July 13, 2004 11:20 PM CDT

Hello CaringBridge Friends!

Well, I am home this week and totally alone. Tim and Andrew are at church camp for the week. It is sort of nice to be here, really quiet. This is when I really miss Adam. He and I would be spending lots of quality time together this week. It kills my soul to know I do not have that and never will again. It's gone....forever. I was going to do some things with my friends and visit some I have not seen a while, but it has felt so good to be HOME I have just stayed here....cleaning house actually. The deep cleaning. I used to sit in the recliner with Adam at night and everytime I sit in it I think of our special times together. So, I have decided to do a little rearranging in our Family Room, relocated the recliner. I will never forget our times here in that chair, but I think I need a little change.

Pray for my mother. She will be having a bone marrow aspiration on Thursday to see what is going on with here platelet and white blood count, being so high. It scares me to death. I could not handle another dose of "BAD NEWS". I just think my old heart and soul would not be up to that.

I mentioned I would give a little run down of what we did this past week on vacation....here it is.

FRI. JULY 2 - Left for Branson, Missouri, drove as far as Little Rock, Arkansas and stayed there.

SAT. JULY 3 - Arrived in Branson, MO, went to the Dixie Stampede Show...awesome. Visited the largest Bass Pro Shop...located in Springfield, MO. Drove as far as Kansas City, KS where we slept in the motorcoach in a Wal Mart parking lot. Is that exciting or what?

SUN. JULY 4 - Busy Day...If you are ever in Kansas City, eat breakfast at a place called The Machine Shred. It is decorated with old tractor, farm equipment, etc. The best breakfast buffet ever...delicious bread pudding. Drove through Iowa and on to Nebraska. Stopped at the Kimmell Apple Farm in Nebraska City, Arbor Lodge Park (Home of Arbor Day and The Morton Family...as in Morton Salt), continued through Lincoln, NE and on to Lexington, NE. Here we decided to stop and attend a firworks display at a small city Park. The display was really great. Our original plans were to go to St. Louis, MO to a huge 150 yr. celebration of Lewis & Clark Expedition, but we heard it was raining and lots of bad weather so we opted to pass that up and ended up heading towards Lexington, where we stopped. Stayed the night in North Platte, NE.

MON. JULY 5 - Went to Bailey Railroad Yard...largest in the U.S. (They had big tourism plans for this site, however, with 9-11 took place all was halted since this was a major means of conneciton). Toured Buffalo Bill Ranch and home in North Platte. Went to a Petrified Wood Gallery in Ogallala, NE. You have to understand my gang...all love rocks, fossils, etc...my sister-in-law is a geologist. Visited historic sites (which are hugh rocks) called "Courthouse Jail" and "Chimmney" rocks along the river in Bridgeport. The kids climbed up the lower portion of one of the rocks. Not me...too much work. Drove into Hot Spring, South Dakota and spent the night.

TUES. JULY 6 - Visited "The Mammoth Site" in Hot Springs. This is the only in situ (bones left as found) display of fossil mammoth in America. If you have never visited it, this is wonderful. Went to Crazy Horse...UNBELIEVEABLE.
You might ask what is this? It is a work in progress of a mountain carving into a huge rock. An Indian riding a horse. It was designed by a man (who has since died)as a memorial to the North American Indian (Lakota). It is incomplete...Indians head is complete, horse still be completing by his children and all funding comes from admissions and donations. Who knows when it will be finished. Onto Mount Rushmore which is AWESOME. Carving of Presidents Washington, Lincoln, Roosevelt, and Jefferson's faces in the side of a mountain. Eveyone should see this. Andrew loved it...he is a history nut. Next, Custer State Park on the Wildlife Loop...saw tons of buffalo that you literally had to stop the vehicle so they could cross the road, and lots of other amazing animals. Spent the night in Rapd City, SD.

WED. JULY 7 - "The Bad Lands"...what a ride. When they say bad lands they mean it. We took the 32 mile drive of the lands which is all barren, but yet beautiful. All caused by wind and rain erosion. Onto Deadwood, SD. You talk about old western town, here it is. The streets were old brick with saloons, etc. We attended a drama of "The Shooting of Wild Bill Hickok". The shooting actually was acted out in a Saloon #10 which carried out into the streets as they arrested Jack McCall and walked him down the streets to the Courthouse for the trial. It was truly a live drama. Really neat. The interesting thing was both Tyler and Andrew were picked to be on the jury so that had to go up stage and be a part of the trial. Spent the night in Deadwood, SD.

THURS. JULY 8 - Began to turn down, Sundance, WY, so we could head home. Visited another rock "Devil's Tower" in Northeast WY. The kids all climbed pretty far on this rock. This is the rock that I experienced my meltdown with the little boy named Adam and had to head back to the motorcoach...crying. (If you have not read it go to past history July 8th for details). God's sign of letting me know my "little precious" was with me in spirit. We then stopped in Gillette, WY where we had to have some tires on the coach changed. This is ironic also. My girlfriend, Jill King, the one who wrote the song in Adam's memory, has a home in Jackson Hole, WY. We knew they were there some time last week so we decided to call to see if they were still there. Well, they weren't. As she talked to Tim, we told her we were in Gillette, WY and she just laughed and said that was where she was from. Ironic we were there at the exact same time. We spent the night in Casper, WY.

FRI. JULY 9 - A day of hard driving. Left Casper, WY and drove straight through to Denver, CO. In Denver, the traffic was horrible on the interstate. We finally stopped at a mall...YEAH, MY KIND OF STOP, to let the traffic slow down. Upon continuing, we noticed lots of white stuff along the interstate. We knew it couldn't be snow...found out it was large amounts of snow...I means enough to look like snow, explains the traffic slowup. Drove to Colorado Spring, CO and went by Pikes Peak...it was too foggy and a heavy cloud over it to really see it good. It was a long night we drove straight through.

SAT. JULY 10 - Stopped for breakfast at a Cracker Barrell somewhere, do not remember and then hit the road. Stopped in Wichita Fall and went to the falls there. Arrived in The Woodlans around 10:00 p.m. We had to unload and repack our vehicle and head for Brenham. BACK HOME AROUND MIDNIGHT!

SUN. JULY 11 - Slept in and washed clotes all day. Packed the guys up for them to head off to camp.

MON. JULY 12 - Saw the guys off and then worked in my yard and cleaned by house. Was a bum all day as far as dressing. My mom had me over for dinner...doesn't like for me to be alone.

Praise the Lord for a safe and wonderful trip. I had a few tough moments which I am sure will always happen. God will just see me through them. One thing for sure, "my little precious" was with me in spirit the whole way. I Love You Little Precious and Miss You.

Thanks for reading and staying with me on this long-winded trip.

Always,
Donna

Thursday, July 8, 2004 11:28 PM CDT

UPDATE FROM CASPER, WYOMING!

Well we have done a little traveling...Missouri, Iowa, Nebraska, Kansas, South Dakota, Wyoming. We have seen a lot of interesting things. Mount Rushmore was awesome...so was Crazy Horse. I won't go into a lot of detail now I will do that when we arrive home. My computer connection is slow so I don't want to spend to much time waiting.

Andrew climbed up part of Devil's Tower in Wyoming today. I do have to share this with you all though. Here I am standing at the bottom of this huge rock. Hundreds of people all around, some climbing and some just looking. Anyway, there is this couple with two children beside me...all of a sudden she says "Adam" come down from that rock before you fall. My heart skipped a couple of beats, I immediately turned and looked to see this boy around 7 yrs. old climbing the rock. Of course, I freaked out. I began to shake and cry. Immediately I began to walk down the mountain so no one would see me...very hurriedly I might add. I went to the RV and sat there and cried and cried. Of all the people and kids on that mountain, what were the chances of the one standing next to me having the name "Adam". Another GOD thing. Letting me know he is with me in spirit. That is what is so hard, to not have him here enjoying all the things all the other children enjoy. Why does this always have to happen to me. That was the first thing. Second, I have been reading this book the entire trip, finally get to the last chapter today. On about the 3rd to last page and they talk about this wonderful handsome, young man who waits on two ladies in a Sports Shoe Store...guess what his name was ADAM. No where in the entire book was this name ever mentioned until the very, very end. Sometimes it seems so overwhelming to me that all these little things can happen. Why I ask?

Anyway, we will begin heading toward home sometimes tomorrow...stopping and doing some siteseeing along the way. I will get home just in time Sunday to wash all the guys clothes up and get them packed to leave for Church Camp. I will have a week to myself. I am really looking forward to that....will spend some quiet time at the grave with Adam.

Update on Mom...not too good. She went on Tuesday, by herself this time. They ran bloodwork before she went to see the doctor...totals not good. Platletts very high and white blood count going up also. So, they ran bloodwork and an iron test as she left the doctor. Do not know those results. However, she will be seeing her Cardiologist next Thursday, and probably the Hematologist also. They are planning on aspirating bone marrow. Please pray for her.

Thanks for all your support.

Always,
Donna

Saturday, July 3, 2004 9:38 AM CDT

Happy 4th of July!
HELLO FROM LITTLE ROCK, ARKANSAS

We arrived in Little Rock Arkansas early this morning. Headed out soon. Scheduled for a 2:00 p.m. Dixie Stampede Show Dinner Theatre in Branson, Missouri. Looking forward to that...we have never done one. Guess what....IT IS RAINING HERE and the temperature is a little cool and of course I have all sleeveless/halters. My luck.

We will probably spent the 4th in St. Louis at a big celebration of the Lewis & Clark Expedition. Should be millions of people.

I wish all a happy and safe 4th. May God Bless You.

Always,
Donna

Tuesday, June 29, 2004 10:41 PM CDT

Hello All!
Yes, we are actually home, but only for a short while. We will probably be leaving around Thursday or Friday. Tim's brother and sister-in-law and children have rented a 40 ft. motor coach and we will all be traveling somewhere up North together. We did something like this last year and it is great to just go and stop when and wherever you feel like it. We are so fortunate to be able to have them. His family is awesome and is always there for us. We could not get through it without them. They are my family.

Well, as I said it was play catch-up when we got home. Wash clothes, yard work, doctor's appointments, taking my mother to appointments etc. Fitting it all in has kept me busy and not able to update. I was so glad to be able to go to Adam's grave. Of course, it was very muddy seeing how it rained everyday while we were gone (21 days), and is still raining. Tell me about depressing! I was not able to stay long. Sunday we had a flood and the side of our house literally looked like a lake. We have been here 7 yrs. and that has never happened. Too much rain and no place to go. The ground is saturated.

I would like to say thank you to all the wonderful friends in my life. I am so blessed to have so many wonderful Christian friends. A special thank you to all "my friends" who tended to Adam's grave while I was away. I will not mention names, you know who you are, and some I do not even know about. You are awesome and Adam knows who you are and sends "kisses from heaven".

While I was away, the monument company placed my dad's stone by his gravesite. It has been in, but they have been waiting on the ground to completely settle, now we have to wait for the rain to stop, and the ground to dry out. AT this rate it could be awhile. To see your loved one's name in stone is an unexplainable feeling. I know my dad was old and lived a good life, but it still hits you hard to actually see that name in stone in a cemetery. I can only imagine what it will be like when I see Adam's. We have not been able to finalize his yet. They tell us to wait until we feel comfortable. What does "comfortable" mean when you lose your 4 yr. old? I just keep turning to God to give me the sign to know when the time is right.

Update on my mom....her appointment for today was cancelled. She goes back again next week. I will not be with her on this appointment. Pray all goes well. Her platletts have come down a little, but still considered extremely high. Another doctor has conversed with her doctor and they will probably aspirate bone marrow within the next month. She is not too thrilled about doing that, but it will give us the "real" story on what the bone marrow is and is not producing. She immediately thinks "bad news" when she hears "bone marrow". Keep her in your prayers.

Well, I'll say goodnight and try to update briefly before we leave. Thanks for checking on us and continue to pray for our safety. We'll keep you posted on follow-ups of our Washington D.C. funding for Childhood Cancer.

God Bless All!
Always,
Donna

Saturday, June 26, 2004 3:59 AM CDT

HOME SWEET HOME!
Yesterday, Friday, was our first day at home. No time to update then...washed clothes all day. It was a very depressing day. Rain, Rain. Seems like that is what we have come home to.

What a wonderful trip we have had. God was with us the entire way, guiding and protecting us. Thank you for keeping up with our trip...will update more later.

God Bless You.
Always,
Donna

Friday, June 18, 2004 8:58 AM CDT

UPDATES WILL FOLLOW THIS ENTRY!

First off, sorry for not updating the last couple of days, but it has been busy, busy. We leave at 6:30 am and do not even arrive back at the room until 8:30 pm at the earliest. By this time our feet are killing us from walking around Capitol Hill all day, in dress clothes, and hot and muggy.

We feel like we have been very productive this week. So what exactly are we talking about when we say "walking around Capitol Hill"? We start our morning with breakfast at 7 am, catch the van up to Capitol Hill by 8:15 am and hit the ground running. We have appointments with various Congressmen, Senators, Health Officials, etc. We literally go into their office and tell them our personal story of how fast Adam died. Why? We are asking for MONEY. House Bill (H.R. 3127), and Senate Bill (S.1629) Children's Compassionate Care Act for 2003 which was voted on last year and now the monies are being appropriated. We are asking for the following:

Department of Defense - $10 million
Department of Energy - $5 million
Department of Health and Human Services - $2 million

This bill was originally iniated by Congresswoman Deborah Pryce (Republican from Ohio), who also lost a child from childhood cancer and understands the need for more funding to go toward children. Various Representatives and Senators have co-sponsored this bill along with her. Sadly enough to say, NOT TEXAS, our home state. This is definitely one of the areas on Capitol Hill that we have had extensive talks and meetings with. We are pushing it hard and need everyone's help. You can do this by calling or writing your Congressmen and Senator. If you would like to know how....call us or email us, we will get you a form letter, etc.

When I say we have been running, we do. We go from the Russell Senate Bldg., to the Rayburn House Blg., Cannon House Bldg., Hart House Bld., Longworth House Bldg., and not in any order I might add. Back and forth, in the heat, dressed up, with two boys. Why do we take the boys? They make an impact once we tell our stories. All the families bring their children. Even the ones with cancer, one legged, on feeding tubes, and brain tumors, etc. These children actually go into the Senators and Representatives and tell their stories of pain, etc. The past 2 days Tim and I alone visited the following:

Representative Chet Edwards - Texas
Representative John Carter - Texas
Representative Tom DeLay - Texas
Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison - Texas
Senator John Cornyn - Texas
Congressman Michael Burgess, M.D. - Texas
Congrssman Don Young - Alaska
Congressman Chip Pickering - Mississippi
Honorable Lois Capps - California

In addition, we met with lots of other legal assistants in various offices. So, you can see, it's a busy job, but very rewarding. We feel that God has led us to go out and help fight this BATTLE. We have met so many wonderful families who have lost their children to this battle and so many who are still fighting the battle. Senator Patrick Kennedy led a session in which he endorses the fight after having two siblings who have experienced childhood cancer. As you can see, it is extensive.

The President of the National Hockey League was in attendance in addition to Trent Whitfield, Washington Capitol's Player, who announced their endorsement campaign for joining forces with CURESEARCH (CHILDREN'S ONOCOLOGY GROUP) AND NATIONAL CHILDHOOD CANCER FOUNDATION to help raise awareness and money for this cause. AWESOME!

One thing I need to share with you all is that we know God is totally leading this. Every time we did have the need to use a taxi, the driver said "on me" after finding out what we were on Capitol Hill for. They said they take lots of Lobbyists, and Advocates (like ourselves) day to day and they feel as if we are truly here for the most wonderful reason, OUR CHILDREN, THEIR CHILDREN, YOUR CHILDREN.

Wow! What an experience this has been. These past 2 1/2 days have been very fast-paced. Have the boys enjoyed it? Absolutely. They have experienced something that only a few children ever have the opportunity to do. They see children who are actually suffering from this disease. It makes them appreciate their health and want to help with this cause. The organization is so good about having activities for the boys while we go into bereavement sessions, etc. They provide all the meals for the days here and even kid friendly meals. As for us, well it is a learning experience also. We both would have never, ever though about coming to Washington to talk with the "Big Boys" about something. But, here we are and feel relaxed doing it.

I guess I have rattled on enough. Today, we have been relaxing a little. So, I guess it is time to wake the boys up and hit the street for FUN. Thank you for being with us via internet on this trip. I know those of you checking on us have been praying for us or this would not be possible. Thank you for all your prayers and support. God Bless You. We will begin to head back home, SLOWLY, Saturday sometime.

Always,
Donna

UPDATE: MONDAY, JUNE 21ST FROM GATLINBURG, TENNESSEE

Well we left D.C. Saturday, drove to Durham, North Carolina, spent Saturday night there. Arrived in Gatlinburg, Tennesse Sunday and spent last night here. This was an especially hard decision to make. The last vacation we took with Adam before he died, we spent some time here. Was I going to be able to do it? I wanted to because I love it here and so did he. Anyway, he had a special place called the "Bearskin Lodge", with this big bear on the outside of it, that he said he wanted to stay at the next time he came. So, that was on our agenda for our next trip here. Well, when we arrived, Tim said, let's go there. Adam is not with us but it is where he would want us to be. Yes, they had a room and yes we are here. When we first drove up, I lost it. On the front porch sits some rocking chairs, all adult size, then one child size. I looked over and could just see Adam rocking in the chair. It broke my heart and I began to cry really hard. The gentleman at the front desk had a room with a balcony that overlooks a river running through. Beautiful. Tim decided this would be a great meditation place for me. I love it.

Yesterday, we drove up to the top of the Blue Ridge Parkway, got out and hiked to the top of the mountain. Only a half a mile and it seemed like 10. It was so beautiful at the top. I wanted to stop several times and go back, but Adam was driving me to the top. I wanted to continue on so I could reach for the golden rope and perhaps crawl up it and see him. At last, the top, no golden rope, but there was a huge silver cross marked on the ground signifying we had reached the top. That was my sign from Adam. We were in the clouds literally. Wow, I could imagine the feeling Adam has everyday close to his Jesus. That was awesome.

Today, the boys are going to swim in the lazy river pool here while I relax. I think they are going to some more mountains. I think I will chill and go shopping here. Tons and tons of stores. We will probably stay another night. Relaxing feels good at this point.

God Bless You All. Tim had a good Father's Day (even though he thought about Adam often). Thanks for continuing on our trip.

Always,
Donna

DAILY UPDATES FOLLOWING THIS ENTRY WHILE ON THE ROAD..........Sunday, June 13, 2004 9:23 AM CDT

AT LAST....WASHINGTON D.C
I have to say it was a long drive. I think we were just ready to get here. I know the boys were. They are so excited right now. We are actually in Old Alexandria, Virginia which is just across the Potomac River from Washington D.C. We are in a resort which is absolutely beautiful. Some friends of ours have an ownership in it and we purchased a stay for anywhere in the U.S. about 3 yrs. ago at our school fundraiser. Our intention was to use it last year to take the boys to Disney World. That was something Adam wanted to really do and we were waiting for him to turn 5 yrs. old. Well, that did not happen. Sometimes when we really take the time to stop and take the time to focus on God's big plan it all makes sense now.

Last year we made a trip to Washington D.C. with Tim's brother and family in a 42 ft. motorcoach. We had no intention of doing that, just did it. As we sit back and look at it today, it makes sense to us. Was God preparing us for this mission. He knew the plans he had for Adam. We feel as if God led us in this direction last year preparing us for what we need to do this year in Washington D.C. with our Senators etc. He wanted us to be familiar with the area so we would not feel so "like a fish out of water". The timeshare for the condo....well what better way to use it than for this trip. It was meant to be used for the enjoyment of the boys (Adam in particular). Adam I know is so pleased that we are here pushing this Childhood Cancer Awareness". He was always so compassionate and wanting to help others. He loved babies and children. He would want us to help all the children sick with this dreadful disease. The plan is slowly very vividly being revealed to us. It just takes time, patience, prayer, and hope in God.

As for today...well, we are going to figure out how we get around. We know we have the metro transit system one block away that takes us anywhere in D.C. We also have a Dash-About Bus here that takes us anywhere around Alexandria. Of course we have our vehicle, but they say its beter to take the transit system...faster and a lot less headaches. God knows we need that. Oh, I have to share this with you. We arrived around 10:00 pm eastern time last night. I went to check-in and guess what...our luck...no reservation. They said someone cancelled it. No initials as to who or no explanation as to why. Which was very unusual. He even said the rooms we previously had reserved were still available, clean and available until the 19th, which was our reservation dates. You tell me that isn't odd. We know Satan was trying to attack our mission. HE DOES NOT WANT US IN D.C. FIGHTING FOR CHILDHOOD CANCER AWARENESS. He is once again trying to stick his evil self in our path and get us discouraged...which we will not allow to happen. We have faith in God and he will protect us and get us through all we have to accomplish. God is always here. So, the moral of the story, we have our rooms, absolutely beautiful, old colonial style, cherry wood furniture, like a home. God prevailed and blessed us.

I have rattled on enough this morning. Now to figure out our plan from D.C. to New York City, which should be quite interesting I'm sure, if Satan tries to stick his nose in it. Pray that all goes according to God's plan. Bless you for keeping up with us on this mission.

Always,
Donna

UPDATE, JUNE 14, 2004 11:00 AM
We ask for your prayers for Tim. He is scheduled to meet with Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison at 1:00 this afternoon. We pray he can impress upon her the need for more funding toward Childhood Cancer Awareness.

New York City Update for Tues. June 15: Looks like right now we may not be going. The best means of getting there is by train which leaves around 9:30 p.m. this evening, arriving around 2:00 a.m., then sitting in New York City until 5:00 a.m. for the shows. Things are not organized on that end and we cannot justify the purpose of a 2-3 minute segment on TV, costing around $500 to get there, and what will it really accomplish. So, at this point we are opting to not go unless Nat'l Childhood Cancer's Office emails us back this afternoon with a better means of transportation and cost, etc.

We are relying on God to lead us in the the direction we are to go and right now, New York City is not top on the list. We will be patient this afternoon and be in prayer about what may change between now and then.

Yesterday the weather here was cool, as in about 68-70 and overcast. Today we are expecting rain. Oh, the metro rail system is wonderful. We purchased a $20 each fare for all week which takes us just about anywhere in D.C. that we need to go. TIGHT! (As the boys would say.) The boys love it and think they are "big stuff", picking the routes the whole way.

Thanks for praying and keeping up with our trip.
Always,
Donna

JUNE 15 &16 UPDATES...WASHINGTON D.C.
Busy days...we had a 1:00 p.m. appointment with Kay Bailey Hutchison's Office, her legal counsel. He told us at the beginning we only had 20-25 minutes; however, by the time we got into our story and concerns regarding funding, drugs, research, and education for childhood cancer, an hour and 15 minutes had passed. He was very receptive and said he would study all the material Tim had provided him. Tim really had done his homework. I was so impressed with the research he had done, so was the legal counsel. I think Tim actually shocked him with some of the things he presented. Tim has been in touch with Senator Hutchison's Office over the past few months, so that made things go a little smoother. Andrew and Dylan stayed in the conference room with us the entire time. They were great troopers. They really enjoyed the Senate Building, took tons of pictures. Later, the boys and I spent a couple of hours at Union Station while Tim rode back to the resort to drop off all his material, computer etc. Beautiful building. After meeting him, we went back and acquired passes to actually go through the Capitol and sit in on the Senate in session and the Representatives in session. The boys were so amazed and excited. This is truly a lifetime experience for them. They were able to meet a few Senators, who they were, we didn't know. Andrew wore his Texas shirt and really drew the attention The Representatives, well they told one of the representatives it looked like their classroom. Everyone seemed to be wandering around and talking at the same time. As you see, we did not go to New York City. It was going to cost of around $500, by train, leaving at 9:30 p.m. that night and arriving around 1:30 a.m. Then we would have to wait until 5:00 a.m. for the shows to start. We feel as if God lead us in making that decision. As it turns out, the group was only flashed a second or two, something else was put in their spot. God knew what was best. Our day was much more productive where we were.

As for today, Tuesday...we went to several of the Smithsonians. Walked all day long and it was hot today. At 6:00 pm we had our first welcome reception for our meetings at the Holiday Inn on Capitol Hill. We met all the people Tim and I have talked with over the phone and internet these past few months. We also met several families who had either lost children or had children presently diagnosed with cancer. One gentleman had two boys and both have cancer right now. So, things can be worse. The boys met several children with cancer and participated in activities with them. One 16 yr. old cancer survivor will be a speaker and will also interact with the children teaching them different tricks he learned while being stuck in the hospital all the time. They even met a little 5 yr. old who lost his leg from the hip down. He hopped around on crutches just as happy-go-lucky as can be. This was really good for the boys to see. They talked about all the children they met all the way back to our resort. They are actually looking forward to being with them the next two days.

Tomorrow starts our meeting, brigh and early. We have to be in Washington D.C. around 7:00 am for the breakfast. We have a metro ride over there too, so it's early for us. Then to Capitol Hill for meetings at 11:00, 1:30, 2:00 and 3:30. Busy, busy. Stay with us in prayer and I will keep you posted on our mission tomorrow. Good night and God Bless You.

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom
Donna

Thursday, June 10, 2004 9:47 PM CDT

GREETINGS FROM DESTIN!
Well, it has been a relaxing week for all of us. Beautiful weather. I understand it has rained almost everyday at home. Praise the Lord that I am not there, I would be depressed.

Well, you know everytime we go somewhere we have to experience the doctors's or ER. Andrew was having a headache and complaining his ear hurt. Of course, we always panic. We have a clinic just around the block so we decided to take him there. Of course, it was just a middle ear infection, which meant out of the water for a couple of days. So, tomorrow we will let him get back in. Sometimes I wonder what the Lord is trying to tell me. Keep my tail at home perhaps. I guess I will have this fear for the rest of my life.

Thank you to a dear friend Dayna for tending to "Adam's gravesite" while we are away. That makes me feel a lot more relaxed knowing it will all be in place when I get home. I miss going there everyday. I have done pretty good up until this evening. I went out by myself for a while. While I was in the store paying, my pictures of Adam and Andrew were laying open when I showed my ID. The lady said "oh what handsome boys, you must be proud of them". I hestitated and almost could not speak for a moment. I looked at her and said yes, and my youngest is now in heaven with his "Sweet Jesus". She looked at me like I had flipped my lid. I proceeded to tell her about him and she could hardly believe it. She said one thing you know for sure is that he is in the best place ever. Amen, I said, but it doesn't make it any easier. It's times like that I find myself wanting to just scream and say my son was stolen from me. That's what it feels like. I still do not believe that he is actually gone. He always loved Destin so much. I am going to take him back a bag of "Destin Sand". How he loved to play in it.

We should be leaving sometime early Sat. morning for D.C. So I may not update for a couple of days. We have reservations in Old Town Alexandria, Virginia Saturday night. As I mentioned before we are suppose to appear on one of the early morning TV shows in New York City on Tues. June 15. We do not know which one or what time. We are at the mercy of the media. According to the Nat'l Childhood Cancer Group, that could change at any time. The media controls what we get to do. We have a scheduled appointment with Kay Bailey Hutchison on June 14....wonder what that will involve. We are suppose to meet with John Cornyn and John Carter also sometime. This is going to be a great experience for Andrew and his friend Dylan. If at anytime I feel like this is all too much for me or the boys, I will bow out and let Tim continue. He has such a passion for this and has really completed his homework on funding for childhood cancer. I am proud that he can do this end of it, because I cannot right now.

Thank you for checking in on us and continue praying for our safety along the way. We are trying to stay focused on the fact that God is leading us to do this. This is not for us, it is for the children in need. God is guiding us the whole way. If at any time we feel that this is not for the glory of God, we will pull out. I feel good about this. Adam would want us to help all the sick children with cancer.

God Bless You and Take Care.
Angel Adam's Mom

FRIDAY, JUNE 11, 2004 - 6:00 P.M.
BON VOYAGE DESTIN!
We decided to go ahead and get a start on heading toward Washington D.C. this evening. We will not check into out designation until sometime after 4:00 p.lm. on Saturday, June 12.

Pray for safe traveling and thanks for staying in touch with us.

Always,
Donna

Monday, June 7, 2004 2:03 PM CDT

Hello All!
We made it to Destin, Florida with no problem. Drove straight through. Andrew and Dylan have been enjoying themselves thus far. We actually had rain late yesterday afternoon. We had already had our quota of the beach for the day so it was ok by us.

How does this trip make us feel? It's hard. Little Adam's memory and face is everywhere. Adam came here when he was only 8 weeks old, and every year thereafter. Being out on the beach you can just see his little face out there. When I hear the word "mommy" I turn, but it's not my Adam calling me. God how I wish it was his voice. Last night all I could do was think about him. Tim has been having a much harder time than I expected. Last year, I had the difficult time leaving town, and this year it is Tim's turn. Praise the Lord for us taking turns so we are not both down at the same time. This is how God is good in making sure that we each have our down times and the other is strong. Having the laptop with us will help us stay connected to friends and our support system. We love all you who help us by leaving words of encouragment. We need it all the time.

Well, I'll close for now, will probably go out and do a little shopping for the afternoon. May God Bless and keep you all protected.

Always,
Angel Adam's Mom

Tuesday, June 1, 2004 5:24 AM CDT

UPDATE FINALLY!
Sorry, things have been busy with Andrew out of school and us getting ready to leave for vacation. Andrew has been really upbeat which has really helped my mood. He is so excited about Florida, Washington D.C., New York. He has been occupying the computer doing research on where all he plans to go. He is my history nut. I think I will have my quota by the time I return. Anyway, it is great to see his smiling and happy.

On the flip-side of that it makes me very said when I think about the things Adam misses out on. The memories we miss making with him. I wonder...does he remember any of the family vacations we took, or did he leave this earth too soon? He would have been so funny now. He was always so excited about traveling and seeing the world. Now, he sees it from a whole different perspective. God how life changes. Part of me hates to leave because I will not be able to go to the cemetery daily. I always worry about it being kept neat and clean. Adam was very particular about "his gardens". He liked them neat, watered, and mowed. When we leave I worry if his gravesite will be "neat and clean". The men do an OK job but we always take care of it on our own.

PRAYER REQUEST...
Please pray for good test results for my mother today. We return to the doctor for more testing. As I mentioned before they think she has the start of a blood disease and may have to aspirate bone marrow to determine if it is in the bone marrow. Dear God, please no. Second request...for the turmoil in my family, God please allow them to examine the hearts.

REFLECTION:
I just wanted to reflect on something that was happening last year this time.... a young lady, who I did not know at the time, I do now, was running the Boston, Rock'n Roll Marathon in San Diego, California in memory of Adam. This benefitted the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. Thank you Stephanie!

PROMISE FOR PARENTS TODAY READS...
CHILDREN ARE A GIFT FROM GOD; THEY ARE HIS REWARD.
PSALM 127:3 (TLB)

Saturday, May 22, 2004 9:29 PM CDT

UPDATE! UPDATE!
PRAISE THE LORD FOR FRIENDS (Tina Roehling, Leslie Miller, Kerri Hamilton) who showed up on my doorstep whether I wanted them to or not, and prayed over me, and helped lift me from the "pitts of hell" I felt like I was in.

Sorry for the last entry where I was "out-of-sorts". Sometimes lately, that is the way I feel. However, my persistent friends were there. Thank you Eileen for your uplifting words also (my email friend). Do I feel better, yes and no. I have just accepted the fact that life does move on and Adam will not be missed by others the way I miss him. This is only natural and I accept it. Doesn't mean I have to always like it. Also, I will just have to accept the quirks of "my so-called family". I just pray for them daily.

As for my mom, well good and bad. Hemoglobin count is up, which is great, white blood count is up, not so great, and platletts up, up, up, very bad. In fact the doctor said they are extemely high and he is a little puzzled. About triple. We are now going to be checking for "myeloproliferative disoder or possibly polycythemia vera". It's all very confusing. She feels stronger, but could have a stroke with her platlett count this high. Please pray for her as we will be making doctor visits quite a bit now. My greatest fear hit me in the doctors office...could it be leukemia. The doctor says he sees no leukemic cells at this time...but look at Adam. No signs of anything. Life just seems to be so unfair lately.

Tim and I also had a 13 yr. wedding anniversary on the same day I took mom to the doctor. Our schedules were crazy. He left at 5:30 a.m. and by the time I did all my running with mom, etc. I got home at 9:00 p.m. Happy Anniversary. I am so thankful he is so understanding and loving. My parents have required a lot of my time over the years, but he totally understands. He too, has done a lot for them since he knows I pretty much fly "solo" in that area. Praise the Lord for sending me this man.

Overall, it has been HELL WEEK. We had our Grief Support Group meeting Thursday, and it seems everyone had been having a horrible time since Mother's Day. This made me feel like maybe I wasn't so crazy after all. Also, things should calm down, Andrew also got out of school Thursday. We are planning to be be gone most of the month of June. Getting away. Vacationing and also attending the National Childhood Cancer Foundation's Conference in Washington D.C. Please pray for our sanity and safety.

I will close for now. Parents hug and kiss your children. You never know what is around the corner. I close with this.....
PROMISE FOR PARENTS:
IF A CHILD LIVES WITH ACCEPTANCE AND FRIENDSHIP, HE LEARNS TO FIND LOVE IN THE WORLD.

Monday, May 17, 2004 11:16 PM CDT

IT'S OVER! The day I once was looking so forward to, and now so dreading, is over. Yes, today would have been Adam's Kindergarten Graduation Day. That was a day that he always talked about....going to BIG FIRST GRADE, he would say. Well, it didn't happen. He could not wait to sit in chapel and be able to look up into the balcony and see his brother (sixth grader). Andrew too, looked so forard to seeing him turn around and look up and wave with those big, smiling eyes. Needless, to say that will never happen. Andrew will never look down and see him, nor will Adam look up and see his brother. Instead, the roles are reversed. Andrew you will be forever looking up to heaven to your brother. He will always be looking down on you with those same smiling eyes. Adam, when you decided to graduate you when right on up to the BIGGEST GRADUATION of all, HEAVEN! I so wanted you to wait. I wanted to see you walk across the stage for Kindergarten, High School, College, etc. But no, now I have your spirit, not your body. Little Precious I love you so and cannot begin to explain how I feel today.

TODAY! - Pure Hell! Woke up with a headache, cried, cried and cried. Went to the cemetery three times today and just sat and talked to Adam and cried more. The weather, rainy....totally fit my mood. So now you get to listen to me feel sorry for myself. I am so SAD, ANGRY, FRUSTRATED, UPSET, QUESTIONING EVERYTHING, WONDERING WHAT IF, WHY, and most of all LONELY. I think I am beginning to feel like I am being dragged through the pitts of hell. Hollaring to get out and no one coming. One thing I never wanted was for my child to be fogotten, but slowly I see it happening and it makes me so very, very sad. What can I do about it? Nothing. I can keep his memory alive, but I can't expect everyone else to. I know there is a time when one has to let go, but why now. Why on his "would be" Kindergarten Graduation Day. It is as if he never existed. I know in the years to come no one will remember his name. He will not be included in the Class of 2016. I have to accept that. Does it make it easier, NO. Does it make me want to get up and say "excuse me, what about Adam Christian Culliver, does anyone remember him"? Yes, but what would I accomplish. I know how much we loved him and I know where he is, and I am happy for him, but sad and angry for myself. That is my problem. Selfish! Get over it. I know I will always hold Adam near and dear to my heart. He is my baby and always will be, no matter where he is. I will hold on to that HOPE until I see his face again.

Well, Tim and I jumped over a big hurdle tonight. We went to the Kindergarten Graduation. We arrived just before 7:00 p.m., sat in the balcony, where no one was, and left right at the end, so we would be as unnoticied as possible. It worked. So how was it. THE VERY HARDEST THING I HAVE HAD TO DO SINCE HIS FUNERAL. This was harder than his first birthday without him, the first year anniversary of his death, and even the first holiday without him. Why you might ask. To sit there and see all his friends singing, dancing, receiving diplomas, and happy ripped my heart right out. He should have been thre right beside them. I kept wondering if his two best friends, Shane or Hadley, thought about him. To see those names in writing and not see his...to hear the names being called...and not hearing his...was like his death all over again. It was a reality slap in the face. Hard too! I cried so hard I though I was going to throw-up. We had gifts for Shane and Hadley, so just before leaving I found a friend who walked up to the balcony and asked her to give them to the two of them. I cried and told her I could not face seeing anyone. At that point I ran down the stairs, Tim following, and out the door I went, straight to the suburban. No one ever saw me, thank the Lord. I felt as if I was going to throw-up again. We drove to the cemetery and Tim and I both just fell apart. Why dear God, why? WHY, WHY, WHY. Why did it have to be our son?

Tonight all I can ask for is peace. Peace about Adam's not being here for this event. This will be the first of many. Dear God, don't leave me now. I feel myself falling to the bottom, please help lift me back up.

A Broken-hearted Mom

Wednesday, May 12, 2004 4:41 PM CDT

Hope All Mothers Had a Wonderful Mother's Day!

As for mine, terrible. It was the absolute longest day of my life. Even my son, Andrew said the same thing. Tim and Andrew wanted to take me to eat...did not feel like going. It was rainy and I felt like keeping my head under the covers...however they were not going to let me. I did stay home from church, couldn't handle that I knew. It was baby dedication and on that day six years ago, Adam was dedicated. I went to the cemetery instead and spent time at Adam's grave, just a sobbing and praying to the Lord. I told the guys I did not want to go to a restaurant to eat. I just felt like getting chicken and going to the park for a picnic. So....we did. The rain held off until we finished eating. Just as we packed everything up, it started raining. The Lord knew that is what I wanted to do. Visited with my Mom in the early afternoon. Very enjoyable. My heart goes out to those that do not still have their mother in their lives. Whether it be by death or just choice. Mothers are so very important and you only have ONE and when they are gone, that's it. I pray for those who by choice are not a part of their mother's lives. May God guide you and soften your hearts for whatever reason.

Later in the afternoon we could not decide what to do...bored. I suggested riding to the Antique Rose Emporium (Adam always loved to go there with me). I felt I needed that connection for just a moment. We all seemed to have different opinions on this idea. Finally, we went. On the way I just asked the guys what seemed to be the problem lately. I asked why we couldn't seem to make a decision, seeing how we are three intelligent individuals. Andrew's response was....."Mom, can a car run smoothly on 3 wheels"? I just sat back, my breath taken away for a moment by his response. He was right. He was telling me the fourth wheel was missing and without it things would never run smooth again. How true. Sometimes he scares me by his answers. He truly understands more than I do at times. God help us through this day is all I say.

In the eveing we did go to the Italian restaurant in town and eat. Andrew insisted on taking me somewhere, so I agreed. We all were ready for night and the day to end. Finally, it was bedtimes. Praise the Lord.

Before I forget, let me say "thank you" to both Andrew and Tim for trying so very hard to please me on that day. Andrew gave me the most beautiful card, he made. I love those kind. Tim had a 14Kt. gold "Gold Ribbon w/Angel" pin specially made for me. This represents the loss of Adam to Childhood Cancer. Beautiful. Later we are going to add a small diamond to it, this is Adam's birthstone.

Monday and Tuesday, went Ok. Nothing special going on, just relaxing. Times are hard and still remain hard even though people say it gets better with time. Better no, able to hide it more, yes. Tim went to the Closing Ceremony (which was rained out) for The Relay for Life that was held April 30 and May 1. It was called off around 3:00 a.m. that morning due to heavy rains and wind, so the closing ceremony was held Tuesday, May 11, 2004. The total raised for all teams in Washington County, Texas was $213,333.77. Praise the Lord! That is wonderful. We as a Childhood Cancer Awareness team(s) definitely spread the awareness. We passed out around 2,000 Gold Ribbon Pins that evening, lots of literature, a petition for a Childhood Cancer Awareness Postage Stamp, etc. Our goal is to spread the awareness. You too can help by signing the petition for this. Please contact us for information.

Today is Wednesday, an OK day. Rain again. How depressing. Today is church day, so we will be going this evening so I will say good bye to all and may God be with each and every one of you. I pray for good reports for all the childhood suffering at this time.

Donna

Sunday, May 9, 2004 8:24 AM CDT

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL

Sorry for not updating...haven't really felt like it. This will be short and sweet also. Mom, doing much better. Put on iron and goes back to the hemotologist on May 18 for more testing. Hoping this will do the trick.

Relay for Life....WONDERFUL. Childhood Cancer Awareness was definitely seen. We had 7 tents or groups representing us. Our petition for the Childhood Cancer Awareness Stamp was circulated and got approximately 1,000 signatures. We will continue to work on this and invite you to do so also. Final totals are still coming in but last count was over $207,000.00. God is good.

We are winding down as far as school. Making plans to go to Washington D.C. in June with the Chilhood Cancer Awareness Advocacy Group. If any of you out there are interested in supporting this event go to www. nccf.org
to register. CHILDHOOD CANCER AWARENESS NEEDS YOUR SUPPORT.

REFLECTION: Last year my dad had just passed away. In fact at this very same time I was lying in bed next to him. Didn't even have time to realize it was Mother's Day or to focus on the fact that Adam was not with me this year. My thoughts were, my how life has changed these past few months. Nothing will ever be the same. The two people that required most of my time, were gone.

Tuesday, April 27, 2004 0:12 AM CDT

Hello Dear Friends,

Well, here I am at 12:30 a.m. not able to sleep. What has me so disturbed? Lots of things. First, Adam has been on my mind every minute of the day. I spent the weekend updating his baby book. I had everything together just not all actually placed on the page. Boy, was that a real tear-jerker. I have decided it is time for me to start tackling some of the hard things, like this book. Let me just tell you it kills my soul to turn the pages of the book and see them EMPTY. Empty because he did not celebrate a 5th or 6th birthday, nor will he physically celebrate anymore with us. That is when I say IT IS NOT FAIR. But, what I am doing on those birthday pages is placing pictures of the Salvation Balloon Celebrations we have had these past two birthdays in his memory. Even though those years are empty, my arms are empty, my heart if full of happiness for him. Happiness that he is able to celebrate these birthdays with his "Sweet Jesus". Happiness that he achieved his goal and ultimate plan far sooner than I as an adult did. He is celebrating on high.

Second, today is when we go back to the doctor for my mother's blood test results. Pray it is something that can be treated over a short period of time with medicine. I pray she does not have to proceed with the bone marrow aspiration. She has been feeling a little better. She still gets tired and sleeps during the middle of the day.

Third, we are gearing up for the "Relay for Life" this Friday & Saturday. My dear husband has been working his self to death. I have let him handle it his way. I feel this is a sort of healing for him. We each deal with things differently and I respect that this is one of his ways. He has done a tremendous job at getting the public awareness out on "Childhood Cancer". I come into play now, preparing signs, thank you ads, etc. etc. The end paperwork. This is just the beginning for us I have a feeling. We plan on going to Washington D.C. in June to the National Childhood Cancer Foundation's Conference in which we will become involved as advocates hopefully. Of course, we are still planning on staying involved somewhat with the Parents Against Cancer Organization that held the Extravaganza last September in memory of Adam. In fact, we are planning on attending the kick-off party for this years event tonight in The Woodlands. However, our ultimate goal with this is awareness.

Fourth, there is the ministry "Adam's Angels Ministry" that we started through our church in memory of Adam. We are still in the process of working out the brochures, etc. in order to present them to Texas Children's Hospital for approval. We have to work side-by-side with them in order for this to work the way we would like for it to. I know this will all come together with God's timing and planing. He has the control on how, when, and where we are to do things.

Well, you see, my mind has been bogged, heavy, and racing. That is why I can't seem to sleep. I send out prayers for all the sick children struggling with this devil "CANCER". I pray for the parents and siblings having to watch their loved ones suffer. Last, but not least, I pray for all the parents and siblings who have lost their "babies" to this devil. Remember, they are not gone, they are alive in their eternal home, happy, and painfree. We miss our "sweeties" but know they are in the hands of their "Sweet Jesus", as my Angel Adam says.

God Bless You and good night...rather...good morning.

I wanted to mention something that was on my "Promises for Parents" calendar for yesterday, April 26th. Boy is it true in my case. Just seemed to fit with the day also.

WHAT A MOTHER SINGS TO THE CRADLE GOES ALL THE WAY TO THE COFFIN.

The three songs I sang to Adam before bed each night, I now sing at his gravesite everyday.

Friday, April 23, 2004 11:27 PM CDT

SHORT UPDATE!
Things pretty crazy with my mom...back and forth to the doctors....more blood tests...no definite news yet...return Tuesday for report...status of whether anemia only...or something possibly wrong with bone marrow. PRAY, PRAY!

I may not have mentioned this before, but thank you to the guests who sign the guestbook. Very uplifting. I know the sites who have sick children have lots of visitors and they should, everyone needs prayer and encouragment. But, let me add that Angel Mommies need visitors too, and sometimes even moreso. We are without our little precious children and that is very, very hard. If you are reading what I have written here now, I pray you will sign your name to the guestbook. I do read each one. One or two words can sometimes just be a quick pick-me-upper for the day.

God, place your arms around all the sick children in the world right now. May your will be done.

Remember, Angel Mommies need care too!

Monday, April 12, 2004 10:17 PM CDT

Well, a pretty good day today. Andrew was out of school so we spent time together. Took my mother to the hospital for her pre-registration for her outpatient procedure on Thursday. I pray to God it is something minor and not the big "C". I've had too much of that in my life lately.

I mentioned that I was going to let you read the letter I wrote to the congregation that was read on Easter Sunday. Well, here it is....

Today, Easter Sunday, we gather to worship the resurrection of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior. What does this mean? It is a celebration of new life--a life of HOPE! An eternal life in heaven.

HOPE! What is it? Well, Webster's defines it as...a feeling that what is wanted will happen; a desire that will happen. We define hope as...a PROMISE from God. An ANCHOR for the soul, firm, and secure. The words promise and anchor are very strong, powerful words. Words that we as a family to not take very lightly. They are words of HOPE. Hope that Jesus Christ guarantees us an eternal life in heaven. HOPE, to us means getting through today and hoping for a better tomorrow.

Most of you alredy know that 14 months, January 20, 2003, we lost our 4 yr. old son, Adam, to Leukemia. On that day our lives were changed forever. Yes, we suffered a tremendous loss, but at the same time we gained a lot. You see, never before in our lives had the difference between those who put their hope in God and those who put their hope in this world become so obvious to us. People sometimes ask us, "How do you even get up in the morning, much less get dressed and stir about in the daily world after losing your child?" Well, trust us; we are here to tell you it is not easy. We make it day-by-day. There are days when you feel as if you want to run forever and never look back. But, we get through by FULLY RELYING ON GOD!

When we were blessed with Adam, God trusted us to do right by him as parents. As parents God entrusted Adam to us. He trusted that we would bring Adam up in a Christian home and would teach him to be Christ-like, so that in turn he would be a disciple of his. God placed complete FAITH, HOPE, and TRUST in us. Adam is truly a "little disciple" of God's. He placed complete faith, HOPE, love, and trust in Jesus Christ. He was only granted 4 yrs. and 9 mos. to share that love for Christ with us on this earth, but now he continues to share it beside his heavenly Father and through others on earth. You see, Adam never doubted where he would be going once he left this earth. In fact, the day before he became ill, he told us he wanted to go high to heaven to be with his "Sweet Jesus". He lived a short life, but a life full of HOPE. The HOPE of an eternal life with Jesus. Now, it is our turn to share that same trust and HOPE. We will wait and ache with HOPE. HOPE that Christ promises us a life that will be spent with our "little precious Adam" and our heavenly Father. HOPE of an eternal life.

Death is not the end. You see, for Christians sleep is a methaphor for death. The word death is removed and erased from our minds by the assurance of resurrection and hope. II Corinthians 5:1 says: Earth is just our temporary dwelling. Our present body is a tent which is temporary and flimsy, so our bodies are frail, weak, and wasting away. God provided us with a permanent dwelling, the eternal house in heaven. Heaven is a solid structure, one that man did not build with is hands, nor can he destroy it. We make it by KNOWING that our spirits are immortal and will outlast our earthly bodies. THIS IS HOPE!

Isaiah 40:20-31 says: Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strenth. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

This Bible verse has become very meaningful to us. Sometimes people try very hard to cope with hurt, anger, fear, and even death. They find themselves wanting very much so to soar like eagles; to get on with their life. However, they find themselves lacking the strength to do so. Even worse, they have no HOPE. True, we mourn and grieve for the loss our son deeply each and every day. We always will. But, because we have HOPE in the Lord our God and his promises, we know that beyond any doubt, we will see Adam's face again.

So...how do we get through each day...as Steven Curtis Chapman says in this song..."We can cry with HOPE, we can say goodbye with HOPE. Because we know our goodbye is not the end. We know there is a place where we will see your face again". We know that by God's suffering on the cross for our sins, and by his grace, we are given heaven. Heaven is the place where we will spend eternity with our loved one. We ask each and everyone here to LIVE EACH DAY WITH HOPE! We do.

That's all. Hope after reading this if you do not have HOPE of an eternal life in heaven, you will. Believe in the promises that Jesus Christ made to us.

Well, I am going to say good night...maybe I can get to bed before midnight. That will be a first in a long time. I pray for the sick children out there. I pray for the family of Sasha Dvorak, who went to be an angel. Be with her family and give them hope.

Always,
Donna

To listen to the entire Easter Message by Pastor Troy Sikes, First Baptist Church-Brenham go to the following website: www.fbc-brenham.org (then click on Sermons and Resource Links, select Easter Sunday April 11, 2004 to listen to sermon.)

FRIDAY, APRIL 16, 2004

Well, sorry for not updating. Been a little busy with my mother, back and forth to the doctors. I have a PRAISE AND A PRAYER. On Wednesday, we received word from her doctor that her blood test results were not good. They could not really tell us what was wrong except for the fact that they scheduled her to see a Hematologist/Onocologist. So, boy did that give us a really bad, negative taste in the mouth. I did not sleep all night worrying about what we could be facing again. Somehow the ugly "C" word just seems to follow us. On Thursday, mom had her colonoscopy. This is the praise, it was negative for colon colon. PRAISE THE LORD FOR THAT!

Have you ever felt like everytime you take 5 steps forward, you're kicked back about 10 steps. Well, that's the way I feel right now. Some people can go through life constantly hurting others, complaining about everything, and never finding time for the Lord, but things just seem to go their way. Me, on the other hand right now, am trying so very hard to live a life that is pleasing to the Lord, and Satan just keeps coming at me. They say when you are your strongest in your Christian life, that's when Satan attacks. After all, he already has the others, why should he work on them.

I know that my little Adam is looking down on us everyday and praying with his Sweet Jesus for us and his Goo-Goo. I know he would be very happy to see her, but we are just now ready for that right now. Too much has happened this past year. Andrew would be horrified if something happens to Goo-Goo. She is his life, and him hers. She really looks forward to seeing him.

Well, keep praying for good results. We will find out next week what seems to be wrong with mom's blood. Hopefully minor. God Bless You All!

REFLECTION: Last year this time, life was about like it is now. Missing Adam something awful and my dad was in bad shape. Sometimes I feel like I am traveling in a circle. Dad was pretty much living one day to the next. Very weak and was ready to go see Adam. Andrew was dealing really well with Adam's death. On the 15th and 16th last year, we were at the State Capitol Building in Austin, Texas. Andrew was a "Page for a Day" which meant he was allowed to work on the House of Representatives Floor with our State Representative, Lois Kolkhorst. He looked so handsome dressed up in his suit. I am so proud of him. I know his brother is proud of him too. One day I have a feeling Andrew will really be somewhere like government, etc. He really has a love for government and history. Wow, what a great experience for him. He also met many prominant people and took lots of pictures with them. Andrew I am proud of you dear.

Sunday, April 11, 2004 9:24 PM CDT

HAPPY EASTER TO ALL!

April 7th - 10th
First, let me update from the 7th. Last time I had taken my mother to the ER. Well, guess what. At 2:00 a.m. on April 8th, the phone rings and it is mom, she is bleeding...back to the ER. I knew it. Satan was working overtime. Of all times, Adam's birthday. We got her condition under control and around 5:00 a.m. as we were getting ready to leave the ER, in comes a young lady in labor. Of all patients to come in. Well, I lost it. It reminded me of going in for Adam's birth. My labor started about the same time. Another thing, this lady's baby wasn't due until April 25, my due date. Thank God for the wonder ER nurse Sharon Price who comforted me. God always seems to put the right people in the right places at the appropriate and needed time. So, we get home about 5:30 a.m....about 1 hr. sleep before it is time to go again...to the clinic till about 10:45. One thing I knew for sure was, I had to be at the cemetery at 11:11 am (Adam's arrival time into this world). I met Tim there and we had our private time. We placed his big birthday bear, flowers, etc. on the grave and sang to him. Another birthday without him. Does it get easier? NO!

That afternoon went back to the clinic for an appointment with the surgeon. To make a long story short, the doctor asked me what my gold ribbon was for. In explaining he realized who I was and that Adam was my angel baby. He felt really terrible not putting my face with Adam. We shared a few tears and I told him I was trying to hurry so I could get to his Birthday Celebration at 5:30 p.m. Once he heard that, he rushed us through. Thank you God for giving us an understanding doctor.

The Birthday Celebration was beautiful. Jill King led everyone in Adam's favorite songs. All the children sang with their whole hearts and souls. They love Adam. Thank you Debbie & Ronnie Fathauer, and Melanie Faulk for organizing such a wonderful celebration for Adam. Around 100 Birthday Salvation Balloons were released. The message had Adam's picture, name, date of birth, date of death, with this message:

JESUE SAID, "I AM THE RESURRECTION AND THE LIFE. HE WHO BELIEVES IN ME WILL LIVE, EVEN THOUGH HE DIES; AND WHOEVER LIVES AND BELIEVES IN ME WILL NEVER DIE. DO YOU BELIEVE THIS? JOHN 11:25-26
We also placed the Adam's Angels Ministry email address
www.adamsangelsministry@worldnet.att.net so that anyone who receives a balloon may email. We are hoping our message reaches at least one unsaved person. Adam would be proud. He touched the world in so many ways.

Friday (9th), Tim, Andrew and I spent the day together. Rode over to Richards, Texas to Tim's boss's place and spent some time. There are losts of exotic animals there and Andrew loves taking pictures of them. Came back and worked in the flower beds.

Saturday (10th), Andrew wanted a date with Mom. So, the two of us were off to Houston. We shopped, ate, and just spent time together. It was a wonderful day. Quality time was spent together, just the two of us. He talked a lot about Adam with me. He does not normally do that. I really think that is what he needed and was desiring. Sometimes I worry because he is so silent and peaceful about Adam's death. After we spend time like today together, I realize he has it all together. Thank you God for protecting him and allowing him to know that Adam lives, forever, in heaven, in an eteranl life.

REFLECTION: Last year....remember very little really. I was in such a state of LAH...LAH...LAND, not really knowing what was going on in the world, but just going through the motions of everyday living. We did a balloon release last year; however the messages were from the children and not ones of salvation. That is what gave us the idea of reaching the unsaved through the ballons. I can remember wondering what Adam was doing on his birthday in heaven. If he had a cake with candles. He always loved candles and blowing them out. We would always have to relight them a couple of times so he could blow them out over and over. Everytime we would sing happy birthday, he would also sing happy birthday to Jesus. He loved singing to his Jesus. Jesus was his hereo.

I hope everyone spent time in celebrating the resurrection of the Lord. What a wonderful day. This is how I feel about Adam. He has been resurrected into a new life in heaven. Thanks to Jesus for dying on the cross so that my little Adam can have eternal life. Tomorrow I will post and share the letter that I wrote for our Easter Sunday Service. I mentioned earlier that Pastor Troy Sikes asked me to share a message with the congregation about the HOPE we have of seeing Adam's face again, in heaven.

GOD BLESS ALL!
Donna

Wednesday, April 7, 2004 10:13 PM CDT

Hello & God Bless All,

A special prayer to all the terribly sick children out there...especially Sasha and Katia. May God take care of these little darlings.

Well, I had an uninvited guest tonight...SATAN. He has come back into my life and is trying very hard to destroy what Tim and I are doing. He wants to stop any and all good things. My mother was rushed to the hospital tonight hemorrhaging...extremely high blood pressure also. When I arrived at the hospital they told me that it was so high that they were surprised she was not out or stroked out. Well she has several things going on right now between the heart, colon, and intestines...she was sent home and we will be at the doctor bright and early in the morning for whatever they will begin doing or scheduling....surgery definitely at some point. Anyway, I know what it was...SATAN is doing his very best to stop the good that we are doing tomorrow. The balloon release with a salvation message is going to reach many people. I know in my heart it is going to save at least one person. The one person is one too many for SATAN...he wants them all to himself. He is trying to stop the good...it happens every time. I know my little Angel Adam is not going to allow that to happen. He is discussing it with Jesus and WE WILL PREVAIL. You decide yourself! Here is the message:

JOHN 11:25-26
JESUS SAID TO HER, "I AM THE RESURRECTION AND THE LIFE. HE WHO BELIEVES IN ME WILL LIVE, EVEN THOUGH HE DIES; AND WHOEVER LIVES AND BELIEVES IN ME WILL NEVER DIE. DO YOU BELIEVE THIS?"

For those who do believe, you know this is true. For those who may be reading and are not saved and do not believe this, I invite you to allow Jesus to come into your life. Jesus died on the cross for our sins so that we may have eternal life. You too, can have eternal life.

So, you see, Satan knows I am pretty low and weak right now with Adam's birthday coming up and all, so he is trying to persuade me. Adam has been on my mind so much today. Also tomorrow, in addition to his birthday, his Kindergarten Class will have their Easter Bonnet Parade. This is where they each design a special bonnet or hat and they go into our downtown area and show off the hats. The children truly enjoy it. I know my little Adam will not be seen, but he will be there. He is the one with the GLOWING HALO. That will be all anyone can see and they will wonder what it is...we will know.

Please keep us in your prayers as we face tomorrow. Pray that we may reach the lost through ADAM'S ANGELS MINISTRY. May each and everyone of you reading this have a blessed Easter and know that HE LIVES!

Angel Adam's Mom
Working for the Lord and You Baby!

REFLECTION:
Last year, God how I was dreading this time. Adam's first birthday in heaven. I know he was happy, but we were not, not at all. We wanted him here. His words raced through my mind "I can't wait to be BIG 5". There was something about big 5 for him. This is when he was going to get to go to Disney World and lots of other things. Oh well, those were just things, right! He is doing the big thing was my thought. Did I convince myself? No, not last year at this time. I was aching so badly and was angry because he was not having the opportunity to do those earthly things that we desired for him to do so much. Was that his desire? Not really. His biggest desire was to be with his sweet Jesus and learn how to walk on the water. I still was not convinced of this either. You see, this heaven thing I know was ULTIMATE AND BEYOND my pea-pickin' little brain. I knew about it but that doesn't mean I had to agree with it and with Adam going there. I was not at a point where I could think beyond his death. All I could think about was missing him, not being able to touch him, have him grab my face and tell me how much he loved me. I could still hear him tell me how gorgeous I was. Most kids didn't use the word gorgeous. He did and I know I was special. But, so was he. So at what point was I going to get over the anger I thought. I didn't know. The only thing I knew was that I had to continue living, hoping, and trusting in the promises Jesus made to us about an eternal life.

We continued to prepare for a balloon release last year. Lots of people were planning on attending... little Adam was truly loved and missed.

Monday, April 5, 2004 0:09 AM CDT

Well it is really early in the morning (12:30 a.m.), not able to sleep again. Tired, but can't seem to sleep. This is going to be a hard week...Adam's 6th birthday on the 8th. God please get me through!

Update on Andrew's UIL...he did not place in his Impromptu Speaking. I am so proud of him though for even trying it. He used to be so shy, no way he would have considered talking in front of people, much less impromptu. He has really come out of his shell. I do not know if it is due to Adam's death. Adam always seemed to have the spotlight with his silly ways, so Andrew patiently sat back and let him take center stage. Now, it's him only. Whatever the reason I am glad he is getting out of the shy stage. He really misses his brother terribly; however, he really keeps it to himself. When he speaks of Adam, it is always about how happy he is that Adam is where he wanted most to be. Heaven...through the eyes of a child.

Well, I mentioned I was writing a letter that will be read in church on Easter morning by our Associate Pastor. He wants me to talk about HOPE...and what it means to us. I finished it and gave it go him to critique. I know that Sunday will be especially hard for me.

Church was hard again this morning. I placed flowers in memory of Adam at the altar. They were beautiful (all shades of pink, his favorite color). Tim and I both broke down and cried today. We usually take turns, but not today. His birthday is weighing heavy on our hearts. As I mentioned on the main page, we will be having a birthday celebration of salvation messages on balloons on Thursday at 5:30 p.m. Some friends of ours are handling everything. God we do have wonderful friends.

Let me tell you what I did at 10:30 at night Sunday evening...sitting there thinking of Adam as usual and remembering I had put some special Easter Eggs at his gravesite. These were eggs with resurrection messages in them (Resurrection Eggs). Anyway, Adam had them his last Easter on earth, so I wanted to share them at the cemetery. Then, I heard it was going to rain. For some strange reason I did not want those eggs to get wet, even though they were plastic sealed eggs. I got in my car and headed to the cemetery to retrieve them. As I was about to enter, a police car was next to the entrance. I pulled up and told him what I was going to do so he did not think I was crazy or up to mischief. He said sure. He probably though I had flipped my lid. Maybe I did for a while there, but I had to bring those eggs back home. Have any of you ever done anything that crazy?

Well, I guess I had better try and see if I can get some shut eye. I am going to another funeral tomorrow. That makes three in two weeks.

I know I can make it though this week with FROG and HOPE and GOD! Thank you dear Lord.

REFLECTION: Last year this time things had actually gotten crazier. I have not written reflections lately because they were all pretty much the same. Crying, crying, crying, and my dad getting weaker and worse. I know his time was going to be soon. He was ready and I wanted him to be out of pain also.

Anyway, the big event was on Saturday, March 31, 2003, we were at some friends house for dinner and all of a sudden, Andrew comes running in the house holding his mouth and blood is running everywhere. I though I was going to just collapse for a moment, then remembered I had to get my act together. Once we get his mouth clean we determined he had ripped his lower teeth out and his jaw looked like someone had beat it with a meat cleaver. I jump in the suburban with a friend and Andrew as Tim stayed back to look for his teeth (permanent at that). When we arrived at the ER, I totally lost it. All the memories of Adam became the only picture I saw. Poor Andrew is just looking at me falling apart, crying uncontrolably. As the nurse pulls me aside to calm me down, Andrew looks over and says Mom, it will be OK, don't cry. My wonderful child. Tim arrives with the teeth, YEAH. Well, needless to say, the dentist meets us there and says, off to College Station we go to the Oral Surgeon. It is about 10:00 pm. We arrive and Dr. Garrett looks at the mouth and informs us that he did a really good number on the old jaw. He broke the bottom of his mouth in three places. The bones were so broke that there was no way that they could put the teeth back in. There were no bones to support it. So he sewed the bottom back together and off we go home. On the way home, Andrew freaked out when he realized why he was not going to put the teeth back in. He had perfect teeth I might add. The dentist had just told us two weeks prior that he had no cavaties and they were perfectly straight. Now look. After two trips a week to College Station for about two months, we begin looking at what to do about teeth. Long story short...they designed a special mouthpiece like a retainer that had three teeth in it that he has to remove whenever he eats. A real pain for him. For 2 months we have to chop food up for him. Final report...they will do implants when he is 18. So, now after perfect teeth, we now make visits to the dentist and oral surgeon. By the way, he ran through a field wire fence, in the dark, which happed to hit him right at the mouth. When he realized the fence was there, he pulled back. Too late, the wire was hooked on the teeth and when he pulled out went the teeth. We found them about 6 ft. away. Sounds impossible, but we seem to have the impossible happen to us.

My first thought at this time was, dear God, what next. Not both of my children. Satan was working overtime to try to destroy my family....I was not going to let that happen, no way. He was going to have to get out of my life. With the Lord by my side I would get through this too.

Thursday, April 1, 2004 0:26 AM CST

HELLO ALL!
Sorry, I have not written in a week. Been really busy, praise the Lord. This will be short due to the fact that it is very late or shall I say early in the morning. Past week...really missing Adam tremendously...crying quite often...but staying busy to keep my mind occupied. Relay for Life about a month away, so my husband has been especially busy with that. Working on the ministry in Adam's memory, creating a brochure....trying to get the creative juices to flow...sometimes not so easy. Half of the brain died with Adam, so I have to jolt it quite hard to think creatively. Adam's birthday next week on the 8th...a balloon release is being planned with salvation messages to be realeased. Also, writing something regarding HOPE. Our pastor asked if I would share a message of HOPE with the congregation on Easter Sunday. I will not be speaking, cannot handle that as of yet, he will read it. Praise the Lord. Then, Andrew is in 2 UIL competition events this Friday, so working with him and will help host the event. Also, started a major project in the yard...courtyard with landscaping. Of course, we do all the work ourselves. Love it though...that's how I release my frustrations. Let me add, I went to 2 funerals this past week.

Anyway, I'll write more soon....promise. Continue to pray for us. EJ, if you are reading, thanks for all the encouragement you send...it's wonderful. To Kathy Culmer, thank you for wanting to write stories about Adam's faith and hope in the Lord.

Monday, March 22, 2004 8:04 AM CST

Hello all! Hope those of you who were on Spring Break enjoyed it. We had an OK one. We really did not do anything special. Andrew had friends over about every other day and then went to friend's houses on the other days. He said that is what he wanted to do. One day he took a friend and we went to The Woodlands and did what they wanted to do. Anything from shopping at the military surplus stores to game stores, toy stores, putt-putt golf, out to eat, etc. They had a great time.

Well, for me, I mostly did yard work. I spent a lot of time out in my backyard working up new flower beds since we will be putting a fence up soon, hopefully. You know I think I mentioned this before, but everytime I work in the yard there is this yellow butterfly that is with me the entire time. He sits on my head, shoulder, and anywhere he decides to spread his wings. I know this is a sign from Adam, telling me he is with me in his spirit. That he is OK and happy where he is, but that he always thinks of me and stays with me in spirit. I cry a little when the butterfly is around, then I find myself laughing. If Adam were here he would be right beside me, digging. I miss my "little precious" so much.

You know I always say church is really hard for me. I usually cry every service. Adam loved going to church to worship his Jesus, so church is very special to our family. Well, this Sunday I did OK. Tim had a really terrible time though. He shed the tears. He said he saw Adam everywhere. Boy, do I know that feeling. Thank you God for making me strong on Sunday so that I could be there to support my husband. Poor Andrew, he just always looks at us with sad eyes.

REFLECTION: Last year, about the same as before. Tim and I made a trip to Texas Children's Hospital to visit some of the children with cancer. God it is so heart wrenching to see those poor children suffer day-after-day. Thank you God for sparing Adam!

Things with my dad were progressing. He was going back and forth to M D Anderson and getting worse. I knew time was running out for him. He was spending a lot more time in bed, sleeping, and in pain. For dad that was very unusual. He was always up and about no matter how bad he felt. But now, it was not a matter of feeling bad, I think it was a matter of him giving up and ready to go be the Lord and Adam. I was ready for him too. He was not content on this earth anymore. Not since Adam's death. I prayed that God would just take him peacefully and that he have little pain. However, I had been fore-warned that his death would be painful, slow, and bloody. So I was preparing myself for a tough road.

Last year on this date, March 22, Tim, Andrew, my mom, myself, my sister, and niece all went to "Camp Comfort" which was a one day Grief Support Camp through Hospice. It was held in College Station. The entire day was spent talking about loved ones. It was very, very hard. Most people had been without their loved ones for a least a year. Ours was so new, it was very hard. Also, we were the only ones who lost a young child. Most were children who had lost parents or grandparents etc. You just do not see a lot of people attend these type support groups who have lost children. It was very good. Andrew and Macey really did well and had a productive day. However, Andrew's "Buddy" said he did not offer any information about Adam and only answered questions about him. He does not like to talk about it. That scares me. But he is so content with where Adam is that he feels deep in his heart there should be no sorrow for him being gone. He always says that Adam is with his sweet Jesus where he always wanted to be. Children, I wish it were so easy for us adults to see things through their eyes. Maybe he will teach me a lesson or two through all this.

As I prepare for the new week, I pray for all those sick children and parents who have lost children. Lord be with these families always. Help me to be in your word this week and follow your path Lord. I pray for Kyle, who has been diagnosed with bone cancer. Be with him as he prepares for tests and surgery. Help his family to be strong and practice FROG (Fully Rely on God)! I ask this in your son's precious name. Amen.

Monday, March 15, 2004 11:04 PM CST

Well, tis the time for Adam to be on my mind constantly. Yesterday was church. Guess what song was sung by Marty "I Can Only Imagine" by Mercy Me. That was one of Adam's favorites. Of course I cried through the entire song. I got through it this time without bolting out of church. The reason...Marty called and told me earlier in the week that he would be singing it. He knew what happened the last time he failed to warn me. The words to that song are Adam...."will I dance for you Jesus", right there I can see little Adam shaking his bohind, as he called it, for his sweet Jesus. I never look at Marty when he sings it and he never looks at me either. We both say that one day we will be able to look at each other without bursting into tears. MAYBE, MAYBE NOT! The rest of the afternoon was focused on Adam. Andrew went to a friend's house so that gave Tim and I the opportunity to work on our Adam's Angels Ministry Brochure. God was that hard for me to do. I did it pretty much by myself, Tim is not the writer at all. Not that I am, but he no help in that area. The only way I got through the project was with God by my side every step of the way. I know this is what Adam would be wanting us to do. It's to carry out your ministry baby boy! Later at the cemetery we both had a really hard time. I have a feeling it is going to be that kind of week. Andrew asked me to lay in the bed with him and watch a movie. He started one, then changed it. He changed it to "Snow Dogs". He mentioned how he has not watched that movie since Adam died. He said it was the last movie he watched with him. I know he is really missing him by all the things he has been doing or saying over the past few days. I think he just wanted to feel close to him that night. God it hurts to see him yearn for his brother.

Today, well we didn't get to sleep too late. Mid-morning we went to my mom's so Andrew could have his "GooGoo" fix. I spent some time at the cemetery while Andrew was there. It was a beautiful day and I washed all his toys, angels, etc. that were on the grave. Today I felt OK about being there. At peace. Later we picked up a friend for Andrew and came back home. The three of us went bike riding. It turned out to be a beautiful afternoon.

This evening Tim and I spent about 2 hrs. on the telephone with a very nice lady by the name of Kathy Culmer. Ms. Culmer is a writer and storyteller who is interested in hearing some of Adam's stories about his faith in Jesus Christ. Stories about how Adam was a witness while on earth and continues to be even in heaven. It is so wonderful to be able to share these stories about Adam. He is special, even if he is my son. I know Adam touched many a life with his short life and will continue to to so with wonderful people like Ms. Culmer sharing some of Adam's stories in the form of gospel. Adam Baby, your ministry is being carried on darling. What will these stories lead to? Who knows! If they bring one more person to know Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior, then we know how Adam's love was carried out. Thank you Ms. Culmer for wanting to know our Adam and share his stories in your gospel, writing, and storytelling.

REFLECTION: Can't really think of anything that stood out about last year. Just feeling really low at this time. Days were getting harder instead of easier. I can remember saying Dear God when will I start to feel some relieve of pressure in my heart. Maybe never!

Saturday, March 13, 2004 10:03 PM CST

As I write this jounal today, my heart aches. Another precious angel arrived in heaven today. Abby Ortiz earned her wings yesterday. She fought so very hard. Everytime I would read her website I would cry my eyes out. The suffering this little girl must have gone through. She too had AML, like Adam. Dear God, thank you so very much for sparing Adam from the pain that this little girl had to endure. I don't understand the why's and why not's, but thank you for taking Adam peacefully and painlessly.

Yesterday was a fairly OK day. My mother and I spent the day together again. Shopping from 9:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. in Houston. When we go we make it a Marathon trip. Plus it does us both good to get out and away and spend time together. I know how short life can be and I want to spend time with her. Fun times, things she likes to do too. Like hit all the garden nurseries.

Today, Tim, Andrew and I spent the day together. This afternoon we had to ride to Tomball to check on something Tim needed, so we let Andrew shop a little. Today Andrew mentioned to me something I though was interesting. He said, "Mom, I know next week is spring break. I wonder if they have spring break in heaven?" As he though a little bit he said, "everyday is spring in heaven. Flowers are always beautiful, birds are always singing, things are always beautiful there. But, Mom, the one thing I wish is that the angels, like Adam, could have a spring break too. That they could come back to visit us for the week of spring break." Later, he added that he knew it could never be the same. Things were far to grand and beautiful in heaven. Why would one want to return to earth. He knew Adam loved us and we loved him and that's all that mattered. Sometimes the things he comes up with amazes me.

Here is a quote from my "Promises for Parents" calendar for today: MOTHER IS THE NAME FOR GOD IN THE LIPS AND HEARTS OF LITTLE CHILDREN.

REFLECTION: Same old, same old. Bad days, good days, down days, up days. I can remember thinking will I ever feel decent again. Anywhere near a normal human being. NO! I don't want to be. I wanted to be different. I wanted to be more Christlike so I could be reunited with my little precious Adam one day. I wanted to just be able to feel something other than pain, loss, tiredness, and sadness. I wanted God to help me feel again. Would that ever happen?

Thursday, March 11, 2004 9:32 AM CST

Another week about to pass me by. Time just seems to fly and it doesn't seem fair sometimes. I want to stop the time clock and actually turn it back. I want it to be back to the days when I was a mother of two happy, running, laughing, and playing boys. Days will never be that way with Adam living in heaven. I am glad that is where he is at, but it's lonely here on earth. Andrew is not the same happy-go-lucky son he used to be. This week when I have picked him up from school he has been B-L-A-H, and sad. The worse thing is I do not know what to do about it. Spring break is coming up and I think he really is not looking forward to it. He enjoys being at school because he has friends there. At home it is just dad and I, no Adam to keep him going. I feel for him!

Overall, I have gotten through the week. It is starting to hit me that his Adam's birthday is just around the corner. We talked about having a balloon release with messages of salvation attached this year. Last year we just did the balloons. Then of course there is Kindergarten Graduation, which is Adam's classmates. The other day a parent mentioned to me that as Volunteer Resource Coordinator for the parent organization at the school, I should think about organizing some parents to help with the graduation pictures. Keep the hair combed, collars straight, etc. on the children. I just looked at her with no response. She mentioned it a second time and proceeded to show me a picture of her daughter from last year. Finally, I just said I couldn't because that would be Adam's graduating class. She felt terrible. I did not mean for her to feel that way, but I needed to let her know it was not something I though I could handle this time. All the things Adam would have been preparing for to close the school year out....all the things as a mommy I looked so forward to. I did not get to do these things with Andrew because he went to St. Paul's at the time and I was not as involved because I worked full-time. I had such big plans for this year. God told me otherwise. Now Adam has the big plans. I know in due time God will reveal the "Big" plan for me. What exactly we are suppose to be doing with Adam's earning his angel wings so soon. I just have to be patient and be spoon-fed for a while.

Yesterday, my mom and I spent the day together. We just had lunch together and bummed around. She enjoys her flowers so me walked around the flower shop (Glasco's). This too was one of Adam's favorite places to spend time. He loved flowers too. I think his GOO-GOO instilled that in him.

Today, I am actually having a bit of a hard day. I just seem to be crying today. Looking at Adam's pictues just makes me yearn to touch his face, kiss it, carress it, as I used to do. God what I would do to just hold him again. I would do anything he wanted at any time just to have him back. Today is also 10 months since my dad passed away so that has me a little down today. Ok Donna, enough of the poor pitful me. Adam is happy and in the safest place ever. I am being selfish. It is not about me. It is about God and serving him and following the road that he has mapped out for me. Thank you God for making me depend on you for my strength!

REFLECTION: Last year....Nothing really different about how I was feeling and doing. Pretty much the same. My house always seemed to be busy though. People are great and have really come to our rescue. Thank you God!

Dad was getting worse. He seemed to really be needing me and my care so I was preparing myself to get back into the picture of "primary caregiver". Ready or not, here I had to go. No choice.

Last year this time we were actually on Spring Break. I remember how hard it was to be off without Adam. We did not do anything. One day we went to the Aquarium in Houston with my sister-in-law and her kids. That was really hard. I remember just standing in the line, starring at children and crying. I wanted Adam to be there enjoying everything like the rest of the children. I could not have a good time at all. It was just not fair.

God, you did see me through that tough week as you will in all the weeks ahead. Thank You for being my CONSTANT!

Sunday, March 7, 2004 11:31 PM CST

Well, I made it through another weekend. Not terribly bad either. Friday I spent the day in Houston, shopping, and getting my hair cut. This was actually a fairly OK trip. Of course Adam was on my mind. Everytime I go into Hobby Lobby I think about him and shed a tear or two. Stupid, right? Believe it or not that was another one of his favorite stores to go to with me. Why? Who knows. One thing is he loved to go into the floral section and whenever there were those plastic grapes on the floor, he would pick them up. He would come home with a pocket full of plastic grapes and flowers that had fallen off of their stems. He said he felt sorry for them and that they were separated from their "mommy". I guess he thought of each stem as a family and when one fell to the floor, it would upset him. He didn't want them to be alone, so he would take them home. Do you know that I still find single grapes and flowers in some of his things today. Perhaps I always will. A piece of Adam always here for me to remember him by. Another one of his little ways of showing "his love for everything".

Saturday evening was a little hard. We were invited to a dear friend's house who was also Adam's teacher year before last. There were several couples there and somewhere around 12 children. Two of Adam's little friends, his age. It broke my heart to see all the children running, laughing, and playing. I know Adam would have been right there in the middle having a good time. However, I know his little spirit was with them. This is when times are really hard. To see others carrying on with their lives and our just seems to have stopped. I sometimes feel like screaming and saying "stop everybody, life needs to rewind for a minute". Wrong, not so...won't happen. Get real Donna! Face the music. Life must go on. Sure Adam is not forgotten, but life for others does move forward. It moves for us, but very, very slowly. That's when I say "God, help me, I need you to carry me through this low time". He always does. I get past it, but not over it.

Today, a pretty good day. Went to the cemetery and had a good cry. Sometimes I can go and not cry, and sometimes the flood gates open. I have this calendar that is titled PROMISES FOR PARENTS. Today is so fitting....it reads as follows: ALL THE DAYS PLANNED FOR ME WERE WRITTEN IN YOUR BOOK BEFORE I WAS ONE DAY OLD. PSALM 139:16 NCV
So true, God has our days planned for us even when we are in the womb. I know this was true for Adam.

REFLECTION: Ok, last year pretty much the same. Shock, denial, frustration, and my dad steadily getting worse. I knew I was probably facing another terrible ordeal. I can remember asking God to please, please get me through the days ahead. Did not sleep, nor did I care to. I just walked around pretty much not believeing my child was not here with me. Daily I would stare at his pictures thinking someone was going to ring the door bell at any time and bring him back to me. No such luck. Deep down, my heart knew better, but my mind was playing games with me. Satan trying to drive me crazy perhaps. I was not about to let it happen. He figured I was at my lowest point and he could win me over. No way was I going to let that happen. I can remember telling myself, FULLY RELY ON GOD. FROG, FROG, FROG! That's how I made it, leaping just one day at a time.

Until the next entry, God Bless each and everyone of you reading my journal. Thank you for sharing in Adam's Story and please remember to drop a line or two in the guestbook. It is very uplifting for us "Angel Mom's" to still receive words of kindness. We especially need that. God be with all the sick children out there suffering from childhood cancer especially Katia, Hannah, Abby, Morgan, Kendrie and many others I cannot even begin to remember the names. God Bless You.

Thursday, March 4, 2004 9:47 PM CST

Well, what can I say today that might be uplifting? One thing for sure...GOD IS GOOD. I have spent some time reading through some websites of some very, very sick children. Children that my body aches when I read the entries. Tears flow from my eyes like a river. My heart goes out to these families and children. I tell each of you now, it is not easy, but do one thing....pray to God, not for total recovery, but for God's will to be done. God knows what is best in every situation. He knows when enough is enough. I thank him every day for knowing that my little Adam could not endure what he was about to be facing. His little brain could not handle what was about to happen. God saw that and put him at ease. He took him into his hands....pain-free. I pray that God takes care of all the little sick children in this world and perform his will. If it be of healing...so be it...if it not be of healing....then please dear God, make it as pain-free as possible. Do for them what you did for Adam.

Well, I had a horrible day Tuesday, March 2. I had a meeting first thing in the morning at school. After the meeting I was just really feeling lost and lonely...missing Adam tremendously. It was just starting to rain, which made it worse. Anyway, the tears began to flow. I was suppose to go to lunch with some friends, but could not bear it. I called Tim and told him I needed to get away. I got in my Suburban and drove to College Station, to possibly shop and get my mind off Adam. Did I succeed? NO! I cried as I shopped. I found myself just wandering. I think I just did not want to be at home, nor did I want to be contacted by anyone. So, the next best thing was to get in my vehicle and go. As it was about to be dark I raced home so I could get to the cemetery before it was too dark. Once there, of course, cry, cry, cry. I just really had a rough day.

Wednesday, three of my friends and I had been given tickets to see George Strait at the Houston Livestock Show & Rodeo. I had decided that morning I was going to cancel out on them. Tim, however, did not let me. He told me I needed to go and get away with them. I am so glad I did. They are really great friends and it felt good to laugh after crying all day Tuesday. Thank you ladies. I love you dearly.

Please pray for Stacie Little (Angel Dustin's Mom), as I received a call from her on that particular evening in Houston, that she was in the hospital. They think if is some type of kidney disease. Dear Lord, please let that not be so. This family has endured enough. Please allow them to pick up as best can be with life. Please God, I pray.

Today, Thursday, a better day as Tim and I visited a new christian school that we are considering sending Andrew to for seventh grade, etc., not next year. We decided we would be in prayer about it for a year. God will show us the right thing. Thank you God for a more peaceful day.

REFLECTION: Oh, let's talk about last year this time. Nothing really new. Still in shock, pain, denial, hurt, grief, you name it. It's all the same....the "pitts" being without little Adam. I was just getting by day by day. All my friends and church family were still taking care of our family by bringing meals in. By this time my dad was getting pretty bad. He was just not dealing with Adam's death at all. Still mad at God. His health was really getting bad. I think the cancer was pretty much taking over. He wasn't eating, having problems going to the bathroom, and walking, everything was staring to basically shut-down. My brother was taking him to the doctor because I just was not able to handle going into the hospital with him. I felt as if I were in the dark though. I had been taking care of him for the past 2 years and now just to drop out of the picture was hard for him and me. But, I was not capable of taking care of myself, much less him. I could not make any decisions regarding his health at this time. I could see the pain in his eyes everytime I saw him. He was going through all sorts of clinical trials for bladder cancer in order to help research. He always said if it could save someone then it was worth it. He said he wouldn't know what he would do if he lost one of his own children or grandchildren to cancer. Lo and behold, it happened. Why? Was it all a test of our faith and strength. Maybe. One thing for sure, Adam's love for Jesus strenghened and soften my dad's attitude. For this I praise the Lord. Adam prepared the way for my dad. He made death more bearable for dad. Dad wasn't scared anymore about what he was really facing. At this time, he was ready. As he told me.... "I am ready to be with Adam".

I rest in knowing that my dad and Adam are together in heaven. I pray for better days ahead.

Monday, March 1, 2004 10:24 PM CST

Hello all. A new month! It hard to believe Spring is around the corner. Part of me is looking forward to the birds singing, flowers blooming, crisp mornings, and sunshine. Then, on the other hand it reminds me even more so of Adam. This was our favorite time. Adam would get out in the flower beds with me and work like crazy. He loved flowers and dirt. What little boy doesn't love dirt. He could not stand to see any flower die. He would say "just give it some water mom, and Jesus will touch it and make it all better". He had a very, very, strong faith. When I think back on it, he was taking about resurrection then. Just as Jesus arose from the dead on Easter morning. Maybe that is why Easter was always so special to both of us. We always said it was a time for new beginnings.

Anyway, the weekend was pretty tough. Saturday evening Tim and I, along with 5 other couples all went to see "The Passion". Oh my God! I cried the entire movie. Why? The pain that Jesus went through for our sins was unbelievable. You read the Bible and hear stories of the Crucifixion, but to actually see how he died on that cross for my sins was unbearable. I cannot imagine how Mary must have felt to just stand by and watch her son be literally beat over and over again. She was helpless. As a mother my heart ached so that all I could do was cry. By the end of the movie I was so mentally, physically, and emotionally drained I could bearly walk out. All we wanted to do was get in the car and go home. I felt as if I wanted to cry for days. The next morning at Sunday School, my eyes were so swollen and hurt. Only a pinch of the pain that was in Jesus's eyes. I fell apart in Sunday School. Our lesson is titled "A Life God Rewards" by Bruce Wilkinson. It is very, very good and makes you really stop and think about the type of life you lead on this earth. What will your place in heaven be once you come before "the big white throne". You will be judged according to your life and your rewards will be given at your resurrection. Of course, then I go into church. What do I do there, cry. My emotions are on overtime right now. The movie really makes a person take a good, deep, hard look at the life one leads. I know I want to be a good Christian. I want to be judged when the day comes so that I may be reunited with my "Little Precious Adam". As a Christian, seeing what Jesus went through for me makes me strive to do better, to repent for past sin, and to lead a life that is pleasing.

Do you know that the rest of the afternoon I was so wiped outI had to take a nap. I never do that. I also did not go to the cemetery. That is a first for me. To actually not go because I felt as if I could not endure anymore crying that day. I had already cried a river of tears and just emotionally could not go. I know it was OK to feel like I could not be there. I know Adam understood. I knew my reasoning. I just needed quiet time to think. Perhaps about my life, my sin, and what my eternal reward will be.

REFLECTION: What was I doing and how was I feeling last year? I don't think I did feel. I was in that state of shock about the past month having past me by without me being able to hold my baby. Spring was approaching but I do not think I even realized it. I was counting the days...30 days since I held Adam in my arms, sang to him goodnight, kissed his little face, prayed night prayers with him, and tucked him in bed. What was going through my mind? Was he missing me? Did he wonder where I was? All these things were ever-present in my every thought. I feared whether he was mad at me for not going with him. He had told me in a conversation just 3 days before he left this earth, that when he died, he wanted me to go with him. Why does life have to be this way? I wondered why it had to be my child chosen to die. Was it because of my sin? Was it because of the way my family was, always fighting? Why, Why, Why? No one knows. I will never know. God knows why. After all why not? My son was a perfect disciple of God's. He loved him with his whole heart. He accomplished his discipleship on earth far sooner than most, so God had bigger and better missions for him to serve on. He was needed in a much bigger place. A place of eternal happiness and constant fellowship with Jesus. Adam wanted this, I know he did. He talked about it all the time. This is where he wanted most to be, with "his sweet Jesus".

I told myself these things over and over. I prayed over and over. I kept telling God I knew it is all for a reason, a much bigger plan. I truly know that Adam is fulfilling his "mission" with Jesus. That makes me happy.

Until we meet again, my little precious, you will be forever and always in my heart. I love you!

Monday, March 1, 2004 10:24 PM CST

Hello all. A new month! It hard to believe Spring is around the corner. Part of me if looking forward to the birds singing, flowers blooming, crisp mornings, and sunshine. Then, on the other hand it reminds me even more so of Adam. This was our favorite time. Adam would get out in the flower beds with me and work like crazy. He loved flowers and dirt. What little boy doesn't love dirt. He could not stand to see any flower die. He would say "just give it some water mom, and Jesus will touch it and make it all better". He had a very, very, strong faith. When I think back on it, he was taking about resurrection then. Just as Jesus arose from the dead on Easter morning. Maybe that is why Easter was always so special to both of us. We always said it was a time for new beginnings.

Anyway, the weekend was pretty tough. Saturday evening Tim and I, along with 5 other couples all went to see "The Passion". Oh my God! I cried the entire movie. Why? The pain that Jesus went through for our sins was unbelievable. You read the Bible and hear stories of the Crucifixion, but to actually see how he died on that cross for my sins was unbearable. I cannot imagine how Mary must have felt to just stand by and watch her son be literally beat over and over again. She was helpless. As a mother my heart ached so that all I could do was cry. By the end of the movie I was so mentally, physically, and emotionally drained I could bearly walk out. All we wanted to do was get in the car and go home. I felt as if I wanted to cry for days. The next morning at Sunday School, my eyes were so swollen and hurt. Only a pinch of the pain that was in Jesus's eyes. I fell apart in Sunday School. Our lesson is titled "A Life God Rewards" by Bruce Wilkinson. It is very, very good and makes you really stop and think about the type of life you lead on this earth. What will your place in heaven be once you come before "the big white throne". You will be judged according to your life and your rewards will be given at your resurrection. Of course, then I go into church. What do I do there, cry. My emotions are on overtime right now. The movie really makes a person take a good, deep, hard look at the life one leads. I know I want to be a good Christian. I want to be judged when the day comes so that I may be reunited with my "Little Precious Adam". As a Christian, seeing what Jesus went through for me makes me strive to do better, to repent for past sin, and to lead a life that is pleasing.

Do you know that the rest of the afternoon I was so wiped outI had to take a nap. I never do that. I also did not go to the cemetery. That is a first for me. To actually not go because I felt as if I could not endure anymore crying that day. I had already cried a river of tears and just emotionally could not go. I know it was OK to feel like I could not be there. I know Adam understood. I knew my reasoning. I just needed quiet time to think. Perhaps about my life, my sin, and what my eternal reward will be.

REFLECTION: What was I doing and how was I feeling last year? I don't think I did feel. I was in that state of shock about the past month having past me by without me being able to hold my baby. Spring was approaching but I do not think I even realized it. I was counting the days...30+ days since I held Adam in my arms, sang to him goodnight, kissed his little face, prayed night prayers with him, and tucked him in bed. What was going through my mind? Was he missing me? Did he wonder where I was? All these things were ever-present in my every thought. I feared whether he was mad at me for not going with him. He had told me in a conversation just 3 days before he left this earth, that when he died, he wanted me to go with him. Why does life have to be this way? I wondered why it had to be my child chosen to die. Was it because of my sin? Was it because of the way my family was, always fighting? Why, Why, Why? No one knows. I will never know. God knows why. After all why not? My son was a perfect disciple of God's. He loved him with his whole heart. He accomplished his discipleship on earth far sooner than most, so God had bigger and better missions for him to serve on. He was needed in a much bigger place. A place of eternal happiness and constant fellowship with Jesus. Adam wanted this, I know he did. He talked about it all the time. This is where he wanted most to be, with "his sweet Jesus".

I told myself these things over and over. I prayed over and over. I kept telling God I knew it is all for a reason, a much bigger plan. I truly know that Adam is fulfilling his "mission" with Jesus. That makes me happy.

Until we meet again, my little precious, you will be forever and always in my heart. I love you!

Friday, February 27, 2004 11:22 AM CST

UPDATE!
I apologize for not updating for a while. Actually, I have been very busy, which has kept my mind occupied. This is a good thing because it keeps me from feeling down and out. Our school had its annual fundraiser last night and I have been very busy working on the committee. There were a couple of things placed in memory of Adam's name at our auction. It is always so touching to see how Adam still affects people. I was visiting with a lady last night that told me how Adam impacted her life. She also told me she was at church in another town and how everyone there was talking about him and his love for Jesues. He truly was a little light for Jesus. It becomes clearer and clearer to me everyday.

Tim and I had the opportunity to visit with two families last night that lost children very suddenly to brain aneurysms. One was 13 and the other early 20's. They are both very angry. I understand anger sometimes and sometimes I don't. Angry, yes because my child will never be able to graduate from kindergarten, go to first grade, learn to ride his bike without training wheels, date, graduate, go to college, etc. etc. etc. The list could go on forever. But then, I look at where my child is today...HEAVEN WITH HIS HEAVENLY FATHER. No pain, no fuss, no bad experiences, no lies, no cruel world, no hurt, just eteranl happiness. That makes me happy. How long will it be before I can experience that? Who knows? Only God! You can handle the loss of your child two ways. With anger and denial, or with contentment and acceptance. The acceptance is a much easier way. I have to remember I have another child that I have to carry on for and make a happy home for. I cannot dwell on what I cannot change. I can only focus on what I can do on this earth to receive my eternal reward....HEAVEN. That is why I choose to be a better person, to try and do something about CANCER, to reach out to others who are hurting like I am. My hurt is not any less. I am just focusing on where Adam is. I take life a day at a time, with God by my side leading me every step of the way. I encourage you, if you have lost a child, to open up and talk with other families who have lost children, it does help.

REFLECTION: What was last year like. Very, very hard at this time. Our school fundraiser was being organized and I sort of just had to get out of the loop. I could not handle it. We had purchased a Yorkie puppy that we as a family planned on placing in Adam's classroom basket, called "A Day in the Park". We choose to do this because that was one of Adam's wishes for Christmas, which he did not get. We beat ourselves up all the time about not getting him one. He always said he wanted a little, bitty, pupply, one he could tote around. He said he would take it for a walk in the park. Anyway, the puppy was going to be donated in Memory of Adam for Mrs. Campbell's Pre-Kindergarten Basket. At the auction, which was very very hard, I might add. I found myself wanting to look around for Adam. I was continuously catching myself thinking he was in the crowd somewhere, looking for me. No such luck. When it came time to auction our basket, Andrew and all his cousins took the stage and held the puppy. It was a tear jerking moment for all as Adam's name was announced. The bidding was going high. The puppy & basket sold for $1,050. It was purchased by a man that had lost his daughter to a brain aneurysm (John Whisnant). Actually he was an individual who had gotten into some disagreements with Tim over a major "water voting" issue the previous year. How ironic that he bought the basket. He knew our pain, he too had the same pain. Maybe this was his way of saying he was sorry. A way for him to heal. He ended up donating the basket back to be auctioned off again. The second time it went for $550.00. A friend, Mickey Johnson, bought it and offered the puppy to Andrew. We turned it down because it was a puppy Adam would have wanted. Andrew wanted a bigger puppy. One that would be outside and running all the time. He wanted a Springer Spaniel. We were so touch by the generosity of both of these individuals. The puppy ended up going to Adam's little girlfriend and best friend, Hadley Webb. She was so excited. She will love it just like she did Adam. The two of them were so cute together, even at the age of 4. He was like putty in her hands. She could mold him anyway she wanted to. He would let her dress him up in barretts, high heel shoes, etc. It was so cute. Hadley named the puppy "Culli" after Adam.

Well, we got through that event only to move on to another that would tear our hearts apart. You move from one thing to another. I think it will be that way the rest of our lives. Imagining...what if's, or the way it used to be. Will I ever quit wondering? No. You can never truly get over the lost of a child. A part of you is forever gone. A part that you can never get back. I wanted so much for Adam. There were so many things I could not wait for him to do. He was so outgoing, silly, happy, loving. What would he have been. Who knows? What is he now? A child of God's living with him in his eternal life in a forever life, forever place, waiting until the day I can join him. What a wonderful day that will be.

Dear God, please keep me focused on you. With you by my side I can get through this.

Tuesday & Wednesday, February 17 & 18, 2004 11:07 AM CST

Today I am what you call "out of it". I have been taking some cough medicine and I am zoned out. I have been busy getting ready for our school fundraiser next week. It was so pleasant at the cemetery today. Just a beautiful day. I could have stayed there forever talking to my baby's memory. However, when I got home this evening I did not feel well. I went straight to bed around 7:00 p.m. I really do not know what is wrong I just feel so tired and confused. Maybe things are just now catching up with me. I also learned this evening that another little 4 yr. old earned her angel wings (Payton Griffin). Dear God I pray for that family because I know what lies ahead. It makes you wonder....what is it about the age of 4....seems this is the age they earn their wings. This child did not have a website, however if you would like to leave a message for them you may do so on Dustin's website(www.caringbridge.org/tx/dustinlittle). His mother will be going to the funeral in Louisiana and will print out the messages.

Wednesday, another gorgeous day, but I stayed in. I am still not feeling real good. My uncle was put in the hospital today, not really sure what is wrong at this point, so please pray for him. The evening did not go very well for me, I woke up in the middle of the night really sick. Sweating, chills, severe stomach pains, and throwing up. I have been having this about once a month for the past 3 months. I am pinpointing it to my age and PMS, possibily having to have something done about it. Anyway, it was a rough night.

REFLECTION: Last year this time.....the pain of losing Adam was so fresh and open. All I did was cry all the time. I can remember saying I wanted to leave this earth now. I was ready to go and be with Adam. Tim could be here for Andrew and I could go and be with Adam. Why do things like this have to happen? I ask myself that everyday. I know God will reveal it all in due time. That does not mean I have to like it.

We also were invited to Melinda and Dave Burch's house for dinner. Mel was our Children's Ministry Director at FBC-Brenham at the time. She was so wonderful to Andrew during our loss. She stayed at the hospital night and day and spent lots of time with Andrew. It was so great to be able to talk with her about Adam. She loved him so much. Everyone did. He was that type of child. I am here to tell you with my church family I would not have made it through this. God takes care of us. I know sometimes we feel as if he has desserted us, he has not. He knows what is best at the time. Just like he knew it was time for Adam's pain to end. For him to have eternal peace in his eternal home. Time for us to let go so that he could take care of him forever.

I truly know I can get through this. It will not be easy. Adam is where he needs to be. I find peace in that and it helps me get through the days ahead. He will forever be in my heart, mind, and soul.

May God Bless each and every family out there suffering from some form of "childhood cancer".

Friday - Monday, February 13 -16, 2004 9:56 AM CST

You know I have been in this really drab mood. Did not feel like updating the site. When I finally worked on it yesterday for 2 hrs., I lost it all. Sometimes things are just meant to be. So that tells you how things have been going for me. I will wrap the past few days up in one update.

Of course, the weather has been the pitts!. Friday in the sleet and pouring down rain, my husband and I had a Valentine Day Date. We went to Houston for massages and lunch. It was a wonderful day. Tim's family is going to be in from Mississpii and The Woodlands tonight, so we will not have any alone time. I thought this would be a great time to spend time together. It was. Most of the weekend was spent visiting. Tim's oldest brother has not been here since Adam died. We made several visits to the cemetery, which were very hard. We watched some slideshows of Adam that we had put together for his "Celebration of Life". That stirred all the emotions up again. Then, going out to eat hit hard. As we would give our names to the hostess she would ask "how many", I had to count (11), I could no longer say (12), Adam was not with us. Just small things like that seem to get me. Sometimes it doesn't take much.

Sunday School is going to be a good, but hard lesson for me to get through. It is titled "A Life God Rewards". It talks about death, eternity, destination, resurrection, and how we will be rewarded when we reach heaven. I know little Adam has many rewards, even though he was only on this earth a short while. He lived his live for the love of Jesus. He shared his message with everyone. He was a disciple and I know God knows that now. Sometimes when I feel weak and troubled I turn to PSALM 46:1 GOD IS OUR REFUGE AND STRENGTH, AND EVER-PRESENT HELP IN TROUBLE.
I know that he is always with me, I just need to make the time for him and turn to him.

REFLECTION: Last year Feb. 13-16....What was happening in my life. I was feeling really, really low, depressed. I did not want to get out or do anything. Everything I touched had a memory of Adam. I can remember telling myself a couple of days before how I needed to get out in my yard and work....could not do it....that's what Adam and I did all the time. How was I ever going to get anything in my life done. Memories were everywhere I turned. I would see a rock in the yard....Adam had his name written on it....good memories, but hard. Well, all was solved. My sister-in-law, Cindy, came down and surprised me by doing all my yardwork. Trimmed all my roses, etc. God has placed so many wonderful people in my life that take care of me. I am blessed!

On Valentines's Day Tim and I went to Texas Children's Hospital for a visit. We felt like it was something the good Lord was leading us to do. It is a healing for us. Is it hard? Yes. Does it help? Yes. I feel we will continue to do something along this line. This is what Adam would have wanted us to do....help other sick children. He always loved babies. I can remember everytime a Huggies commercial would come on he would run to the TV calling me to come watch at the same time. He would just laugh and say those babies were so cute. He was so caring. I know he is doing the same for all the babies in heaven, loving and caring for them.

Sometimes I ask myself is God testing me. So many things have taken place in my life this past year that I feel as if my walk with Christ is being questioned. Have I stayed from him, not quiet as devoted as before? Maybe. I know God did not punish me. He did what was good for Adam. Adam could not have survived the AML ordeal. It was too fast, too far gone. He was not suppose to suffer. God spared him of all the needles, blood tranfusions, pain, throwing up etc. I read and see what all these other children are having to experience. My heart breaks for them and their families. Rely upon God is about all I can tell them. Pray for his will in the situation. Whatever that will is, accept it. God does know best. It may not be what we desire, but it is what is best. God knows!

So, I leave you today, with prayers for all the sick children who are going through some form of "childhood cancer". My heart breaks for the families. My husband and I are making every effort to SPREAD THE WORD ABOUT CHILDHOOD CANCER AWARENESS! You can to. God Bless You!
Donna

Thursday, February 12, 2004 11:03 PM CST

Well, another very cold day. At least it is not pouring down rain today. Light rain here and there. I woke up deciding I was about to lose it today, so I called my mother and asked her to go with me to College Station to shop for a while. I just had to get out. I was on the tip of becoming very depressed. We had a nice day. It was hard for both of us. We used to do that with Adam all the time. At the mall we went to Chick-a-Filet to eat (Adam's favorite place). As we were eating I just bust into tear thinking about him and how excited he was when he got to go to the mall, eat at this favorite place, and play in the children's area. As I sat there watching the children play, I could just see Adam's little face smiling as he ran from play station to play station. The last time we were there he was so funny. He was sliding down the slide and his hair had static electricity in it which made it stand straight up as he slid down. Once he realized we were laughing at him, he thought that was the funniest thing in the world. So, he went down the slide probably a hundred times, just a laughing. He was always such a happy boy, only now in heaven. As I sat eating I could just hear and see him. My mother then mentioned the same thing. That she was hearing and seeing him. Dear God how I wish that were so.

Once back at home, I had a hard time going to sleep. So, I was up most of the night. I went to bed at 2:30 a.m. however at 4:22 a.m. I was still watching the clock. I had to get up early too.

REFLECTION: Last year....same old same old feeling, down! I had lunch with a friend Carmen Cunningham. She is a very spiritual uplifting person which was very nice at this time in my life. The wonderful friends I have. So many, each taking me out, or spending time with me. That is so wonderful to have true friends, godly friends, who really care.

Tuesday, February 10, 2004 11:23 AM CST

Well, if you live where I do you are probably about to go crazy with this weather. Rain, Rain, Rain. Depressing and dreary. Can't go outside without being soaked to the bone. So....today I have just decided I will be inside all day. Woke up feeling really rotten. Headache, bones aching a little, and feeling dizzy. So, I will take it easy today. Decided I would give myself a pedicure and manicure, then I will get out to go to a meeting and pick Andrew up from school. Maybe after a good hot shower I will feel better. Sometimes that works. Ok, it did help a little, but still a little bit of a headache. Went to the cemetery and could not even get out of my vehicle it rained so hard. I just sat and played the song "With Hope". If you have not heard it you need to. It is beautiful. It is by Steven Curtis Chapman, CD titled "Speechless", "With Hope" no. 11 on CD. It lets me know that it is OK to grieve, and to grieve with hope that someday we will be together again. You just have to hear it. Tonight Tim and I will be having a date. Our girlfriends have a Bunco group that meets once a month. This month is going to be "sweetheart month", bring your husband. I am looking forward to it.

The evening was great! We had a good time. It felt good to get out and laugh with friendS. Thirty-two people total, dinnner, dessert, and Bunco. What fun. I am going straight to bed as I feel as if I may be getting sick.

REFLECTION: Last year this time.....still feeling totally shocked. My friends were around me everyday, keeping me busy. Today, Alesia picked me up and we went to Houston together. She is so dear and such a spiritual person. She really helps me stay focused. I have so many wonderful dear friends. What would I do without them. They are here for me morning, noon, and night. Everyone has been bringing food on a daily basis. We do not have to worry about meals or anything. Andrew's teacher from first grade has been coming over a couple of days a week and helping him with homework so we do not have to become stressed over that. God is good to us. He has placed so many wonderful people in our lives to help us through our suffering. How can I be mad at him. I can't. I know that through all thiings there is a plan. A plan that I have to sit back and in due time it will be revealed as to what I am suppose to do.

EPHESIANS 1:11-12 SAYS: IN HIM WE WERE ALSO CHOSEN, HAVING BEEN PREDESTINED ACCORDING TO THE PLAN OF HIM WHO WORKS OUT EVERYHING IN CONFORMITY WITH THE PURPOSE OF HIS WILL, IN ORDER THAT WE, WHO WERE THE FIRST TO HOPE IN CHRIST, MIGHT BE FOR THE PRAISE OF HIS GLORY.

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2004

Well, hello again. Today is terrible. Same old weather, even worse. It poured all night long. I have now had enough of this depressing weather. I woke up and got Andrew off to school, then crawled back in the bed. My throat was sore and I felt rotten. Today was a day that I just laid there and thought about Adam. This would have been good snuggling weather for the two of us. Of course, he would have gone to school, but at 11:30 we would have hibernated together. I miss that so. He was such a good snuggler. What I would do to have that back again.

Well, the phone rang, so I got out of bed. The good Lord knew to send that call. It was Celia, who is my pastor's wife, a dear close friend, and our Hospice Bereavement Counselor. She must have known I would need someone. We had a nice long chat. I thank God for that call of encouragement. I completed the rest of my day by picking Andrew up from school, going to the cemetery for a short time, then coming home to prepare supper and help Andrew on homework. We went to our Wednesday night church classes. Sometimes I feel like I just want to stay home. It's Andrew that really makes us go sometimes. After I come home I am so glad that I did go. Once again, the Lord leading us to do what is good and right. I pray for a good nights rest.

REFLECTION: Last year....nothing particular stands out in my mind. Just the loneliness of not having Adam in our family anymore. Sometimes I can remember just breaking and sobbing for hours. How will I ever make it without him in my life. All the things run through my head, like having an only child, Andrew not being able to share his thoughts with a brother, Andrew never being able to lead Adam down the hall in sixth grade (like he looked so forward to), no Adam during Kindergarten Graduation, and many, many more visions that we will never experience. Why were we as a family chosen to lead this path without our son? What does God have planned through all of this? How many lives has Adam's death affected? When will we stop hurting so bad? Or do we ever? Questions, questions, questions, are there any answers. I feel I will only know the answers on the day that I am in my eternal home with Adam beside me. How long will that be? Only God knows. Dear God, I pray, just guide me and show me the way. Let your will in my life be done. Amen.

Friday, Saturday, Sunday, February 6, 7 , & * 2004 9:21 AM CST

Hello everyone. These next two days are going to be a rather busy. My girlfriend, Angela and I, are having our garage sale at her house. Up early and busy all day. Overall pretty good days. It is nice to be with someone all day today. Keeps my mind off of things. Of course you know Adam was on my mind very much so. I even had one lady come up to me and engaged in conversation, she realized who I was and remember seeing Adam's picture at school etc. We began talking about his sudden death and she was very moved by our strength and Adam's life. He really did touch people. People we didn't even know.

These past few days I also have not slept much. I have been dreaming about my dad a whole lot. If you didn't know, he too passed away last year, May 11 (on Mother's Day), from cancer. So, I lost two very important people in my life very close together. They say when you lose your husband you lose a part of your present, when you lose you parents you lose a part of your past, and when you lose a child you lose a part of your future. Very, very true. I lost both a part of my past and future all at once. Sometimes I feel like....what else. Anyway, my dad's birthday is on the 9th and I guess I am just thinking a lot about him and missing him also. One thing I can rest assured on, is that Adam and my dad are very happy together. They have each other, along with God and what else could one ask for.

Sunday went to church, lunch with friends and just spent time finishing and setting up Andrew's science fair exhibit. Went to the cemetery later. I can actually go there without being a total wreck when I leave. Of course I cry, just not as hysterical. Later had dinner at mom's house. Overall a relaxing day. The weather is cold and dreary which is not good. They next few days are suppose to be that way, which I hate. Depressing.

REFLECTION: Last year....what was happening. Not very much. Still in a state of shock. Thinking back about how fast life can change. We are never guaranteed the next hour. Cherish every minute of your precious lives together. They are special.

On the 8th, which was Saturday last year, my sister and I were preparing a surprise 80th birthday party for my dad. We knew after Adam died that dad would probably follow rather quickly. He had basically given up. He was very mad at God. He could not understand why God would let him stay here and suffer with the cancer and take our little precious Adam, who had so much to live for. He felt like Adam took his place. He was saying God was punishing him for the things he did wrong in his life. Was this true? No. God does not punish us. He is a God of grace and forgiveness. How many times does he forgive us over and over. It was very hard for me to be around my dad with his attitude about God. I felt so confused. I knew God did not do this to punish anyone. I truly felt that God spared Adam the long, enduring pain he would have had if he did live. I was having a difficult time with my dad at this time. I was not able to care for him as I had in the past 2 1/2 yrs. The loss of Adam took it out of me. I felt as if my siblings could not understand why I didn't just bounce right back in to caring for dad. I was mourning and needed time to grieve for Adam. I knew dad had lived his life and if he passed now he was content with what he had done. He was ready. He was in pain. Pain that no none else really saw. Life was very, very hard for me at this time. I was somewhat mad at dad for even thinking the way he was thinking. He was so negative and it really drug me down. I had to pray to God really hard for forgiveness for not wanting to care for him at the time. I felt so guilty for not being a caring daughter when he really needed me. He was mourning too. But, I could not give him what he needed. He needed a heart to heart with God and he needed to know it was not God's work. Anyway, thanks to my sister planning the party, it was great. Dad was in good spirits and all his friends were with him. My brother and his family did not come, which did disappoint him, but I think he expected it. I thank God that dad was able to celebrate 80 years of life. He had a good life. He was so happy that day.

As hard as that day was....it was good. Good for dad. I know he celebrated his last birthday with fond memories. He even told us that this would be the last birthday he would have here on earth. He knew it. I feel like the Holy Spirit was beginning to call for him then. I am prepared because I know he is ready. Ready to be with Adam.

MONDAY, FEBRUARY 9, 2004

Well, today looks like one of those ugly days, rainy again. That is about to do me in. I am ready for nice, cheery weather. I love to be out in my yard working out my frustrations. That is just not possible these days. I will be ready for spring.

Pretty tired today. Did not sleep at all last night. Moved from bed to bed and just could not rest at all. Today would be dad's birthday. I have thought about him and Adam all day. I know the two of them are having a grand old birthday party in heaven. I can just hear Adam singing at the top of his lungs to his papaw. He loved to sing Happy Birthday. Everytime he would sing it he would also sing Happy Birthday Dear Jesus. He had to include Jesus in every birthday celebration. I found this birthday prayer in a book called "A Moment with God" (Prayers for those who grieve.)

A Birthday Prayer

When I remember you in my prayers, I always thank my God. Philemon 4

Holy One, on this, my beloved's birthday, I give myself the gift of remembering. I take out the memory box I've made of special items--a comb, photos, letters, videos, and a worn-out wallet. It is a bittersweet gift, and I give myself permission to stop looking at any point without shame. One at a time, I lift sacred items out of the box, close my eyes, and cherish the memory, offering a prayer of thanksgiving. Slowly, I place each item on the table.

Lord, help me to celebrate the memories of life,, and give me the courage to intentionally create new ones. Amen

I said this prayer today to help give me the strength to know that it is ok to remember and to grieve.

I went to dad's grave and put out an arrangement of yellow roses. He loved roses. At Adam's grave, I had a hard time today. It was rainy and depressing. This sudden feeling of wonder came over me and I started to cry really hard. I had this sudden thought of "I wonder what his shell looks like now". This thought gave me the creeps. I began to pray to God and asked that he guide me though this moment. Let me know that Adam's spirit and soul was beautiful, more beautiful than on earth. That it did not matter what was in the grave but what was in heaven in his eternal home. God help me focus on you and where "my little precious" is.

This evening we went to the Science Fair Awards Ceremoney at school. Andrew placed 2nd on his exhibit. It was titled: Anti-bacterial Soap....Fact or Fad? He always does really well on these things and we are so very proud of him. We know his brother is looking down and smiling, proud too.

Dear God, I pray that you help me to have a good night's rest.

REFLECTION: Last year it was Sunday, Dad's actual birthday. We visited him a little while and spent the rest of the day together as a family of three. Andrew was in the science fair at school and we had to go to the school in the afternoon to set-up. I
can remember feeling really low as we walked in the room. The year before Adam stormed in the room just a talking about his brother's project. He was always so proud of everything Andrew did. He really admired him. I feel so sad for Andrew...not having that brother around to brag on him. We set up the project and headed for home. We knew Adam was proud of his brother's exhibit and would have a hand in his winning somehow.

Thursday, February 5, 2004 10:25 PM CST

Sorry I typed the wrong date on my last journal. This is actually for Thursday, Wednesday should have read the 4th.

Well, that mess up goes along with my day. Woke up to a pretty crummy day. Cold, rainy, and depressing. My girlfriend and I are planning a garage sale, which I am really not in the mood for, but need to get rid of some things....so here I am digging through junk. About how I feel, like a piece of junk. Going through some of my things, I find little things here and there that remind me of Adam. Some things are so ridiculous, but still special. I find myself in a YUK MOOD. Am I going through Adam's things you might ask??? NO! I have not gotten to that point yet. I honestly do not know when I will. His room, closet, toys, etc. are exactly as he left them. That is something that will be very hard on all of us. We have decided that the three of us will sit down together and go through his things at some point. I have pulled some things aside and placed them in a special box.....memories box....that we go into every once in a while. Andrew too, has his own small cedar chest that he calls his memory box. I purchased it for him shortly after Adam died. He has a key and a journal to it and he can put anything that is special to him in there. He can share those things with us if he chooses, but does not have to. This is his way of keeping memories, his special memories alive in his mind and heart about his brother. Every once in a while we see him going through some of the things in there. Adam left lots of wonderful, special memories for all of us. I really think he knew the Lord was going to call for him early because of some of the things he left behind. For instance, rocks. He loved them. However, he marked them with his name, hearts, and the words mom or dad on them. How silly, but so special to us. We keep and cherish things like this, very simple and special.

As for the evening....I made it through. Had a difficult time sleeping though.

REFLECTION: Last year it was Wed. Feb. 5th. Last year this time I was picking Andrew up from school at 3:30 pm and going to the dentist. WITHOUT ADAM for the first time, I might add. I can remember the feeling all too well as I walked into the dentist office. They knew Adam had left this earth because they were very involved in his life and knew him well. But, part of me feared they might forget and call out his name. Did they? No! Part of me kept waiting and wanting to hear it. Thinking.....maybe it is not true....I am just imagining things. Well, we got through the appointment, very well for Andrew I might add. It is so hard to go to things like this for the first time without Adam. Everyone is still so caring and expressing their concern. I truly live in a wonderfull town with loving, caring people. Thank the Lord for that.

God is good in that he helps me through these times that I fear will be so dark. He grabs me by my hand and says that he will never leave me.....and he doesn't. He never will. He will not leave you either, but you have to let him into your life.

Catch this verse that is on my "Promies for Parents" calendar for today:

A CHILD ENTERS YOUR HOME AND MAKES SO MUCH NOISE YOU CAN HARDLY STAND IT....THEN DEPARTS, LEAVING THE HOUSE SO QUIET YOU THINK YOU'LL GO MAD.
By: Dr. J. A. Holmes

Boy does that hit home! That's the way I feel today, as if I am about to go mad! But, I will FULLY RELY ON GOD!

Sunday, January 25, 2004 - Wednesday, February 5, 2004

UPDATE! UPDATE!
Sorry, for the delay. I must admit I have been a little down and out. They days have been cold and rainy and that puts me in a terrible mood. I find that on days like this all I think about is ADAM. It was on these days that he and I would just stay home and do nothing. Play and play as he would say. Be lazy and have fun. Cuddle! I miss that so terribly.

There has been a lot of focus on Adam lately. The school is doing the "Pennies for Patients" which benefits the Leukemia & Lymphoma Socity and is being done in memory of Adam. His picture is on a huge bulletin board, his name and picture in the paper, and various people calling to give money to this. This is so wonderful that people still "remember" and want to do something. Little Adam left his mark. I truly know God sent him into this world for a mission and he went out and laid the seed and it is up to us to carry on with it. I am so proud to be his "mommy". I just wish I could tell him and kiss that little face.

People tell you it gets easier after a year. Is that true, you might ask? No, it does not get any easier now. I just simply learn to cope better. I have learned to rely on my God to get me through each day. When I have those times that I feel desperate, sad, and alone, I try and go to the Bible and find a verse for comfort. Mostly I do lots of praying that God will lead me through these difficult moments. I try not to call on my friends, but instead RELY ON GOD! He is always there.

REFLECTION: Last year this time, I was feeling pretty low. The day after the funeral. I was still asking myself if it was true. Did I just bury my baby? No, I didn't, I buried his shell and his precious soul and spirit were sent to heaven for an eternal life with his heavenly Father, until I can be with him in that eternal life. I truly cannot wait to experience an eternal life with him.

Last year on Monday, January 27th, Tim and I went to Texas Children's Hospital to visit. Everyone kept asking me if I thought that was a good idea. No, I did not know whether it was a good idea or not. I was just simply feeling the need to go, and to see those children, and see what I could do to help. I told everyone once I arrived I would find out whether I would be able to go in. The good Lord would either grab me by the hand and walk beside me, or he would let me know that I was not ready for this task. Thank God, he was with me all the way and led me through the front door, down the halls, and to our doctors, nurses, and some of the children. God is good. He helps us through the tough times. With him by my side how can this be wrong. We delivered flowers to several different areas in the hospital.

From Wednesday, January 29th through Saturday February 1, we left the state. Tim, Andrew & a friend, and myself went to Breckenridge Colorado to go snow skiing. Andrew wanted to get away, so he asked a friend and we flew out. It felt great to be away from everything. All the memories that were hovering over me. I was hoping to just put them aside and focus on Andrew. He needed that. The air was beautiful. It gave me a real sense of peace about Adam and him being in heaven. I was jealous of the beauty he was experiencing. I must say we did have an eventful trip though. The condo discovered the reason we were there and upgraded our room to a more private one which directly overlooked the mountain. It was gorgeous to wake up every morning and see the beautiful mountains and sky. I felf as if I was sleeping in heaven with Adam. Of course, we had to have a little excitment. Andrew missed the lift chair and was separated from us. As we were looking back to see if he was getting on, he was, but fell off the lift chair. Literally, to the ground. The lift had to stop. Here we were about 5 chairs from him, up in the air, not able to do a thing. I just knew he was going to have a broken leg or arm. We watched the ski patrol lift him up and place him back on a lift, he was OK. Praise the Lord. We just knew he would be crying when he reached the top having gone by himself, however, he was laughing. Praise the Lord again.

Well, after the first day we go back to the room with Andrew complaining of a headache. Soon the headache turns into a stomach ache, diarrhea, and a low grade fever. This scared us to death. The next morning he says he's better and skis half a day. By afternoon, after we completed skiing, he's feeling bad again. Tim takes him down to the emergency clinic. I am back at the room with his friend waiting, and waiting, and freaking out that something is wrong. After a couple of hours of not hearing from them, we begin to walk to the clinic. Upon arrival, they tell me that he was really sick when he got in. He began to throw-up. Oh my God, not Andrew too, is immediately what I thought. Tim comes out and told me he demanded they see him immediately and explained the situation of just burying our 4 yr. old with the onset of the same symptoms. They immediately began bloodwork and sent it down to the main hospital in Denver. As we are waiting he turns white as a sheet and his fever spikes really high. Of course, I panic something is terribly wrong. All the pictures of Adam start running through my head. I feel as if I am about to breakdown. We were there for hours. Finally, the results came back....OK. They said he had AMS. When I heard this I about stripped a gear thinking, now what the H.......is this. They explained about it being Acute Mountain Sickness. It happens due to the altitude change. He was placed on oxygen and sent back to the room. They said it usually happens once you come down off the mountain. The reason being the altitude change and the body being still. The skiing actually made him feel better. He was sick when he was back at the room. So.....that being said he spent his nights on oxygen and was ready to ski in the mornings. Thank you dear God. We had the nicest people helping us and they understood our situation. The company providing the oxygen did not even charge us for it once they knew the reason for us being in Colorado. Adam's death touched the gentlemen so he said there was no way he could charge us.

The entire trip was busy for us. God placed all the right people in our path for us to be able to spend quality time with Andrew and still hold on to Adam's memory. We know Adam was taking care of us.

Arriving back in Texas was hard. Especially coming back to Brenham. I think I really thought we could go away and when we got back we would just go to my mother's and pick Adam up. He would be waiting to hug us with open, loving arms. That was not so. The first place we went was directly to the cemetery. I really fell apart. It was true, he was not with us on this earth anymore. He really did go on to his eternal life in heaven. Sometimes that is hard to accept and going to the cemetery reminds me that he is not alive on this earth, but is alive in heaven. I was glad to get back. I missed going to the cemetery and spending time there. I felt guilty for leaving. I felt as if I had abandoned him. I feel as if I am suppose to just mourn and think about him being gone all the time. Dear God help me get over this feeling.

Well, Sunday was church. How would I go, I thought. I cannot go without Adam. That is the one place he loved so dearly. I had to, for him and for me. While dressing the stangest thing happened. Andrew was putting on his shoes and when he went to slide his foot in, it would not go. He pulled it out and looked inside. There inside the shoe was a blue colored marble. Adam's marble. Adam used to do that to Andrew all the time. Andrew looked at us and said, "Adam did that to let us know he is with us today". I informed Andrew that could not be so because those shoes were new, bought for the funeral, and Adam was gone. There was no way he could have put that in there. Andrew looked at me and said, "oh yes he did mom, his spirit did. He is letting us know he is always with us". This broke my heart. Andrew was right though, Adam's spirit is with us always. Church was very, very difficult. I cried the entire service and felt as if I was going to pass out. Everyone was coming up to us and hugging us, crying, and just expressing their sincerest sympathy. I truly felt Adam's presence with me the entire time. I think that makes it a bittersweet if you know what I mean. I know I will get through this and it is with God's help and my family, friends, and church family will be there, always.

The beginning of the week was hard. It was back to school for Andrew, without Adam. That was difficult for all of us. He was the life in the house in the mornings. He was always coming up with something silly to get us going in the morning. Now, quiet, very quiet. I had to change my routine. I do not take Andrew to school anymore. I cannot handle that part of the day. Seeing the little children Adam's age go in makes me very sad and depressed. I always took him and saw the excitment on his face as he exited the suburban. That was a special time for us and I want to still hold on to that. It may sound crazy but that is a part of him I have to keep buried inside me. I read something that said "If God will lead you to it, he will lead you through it". I know that is so. God will lead us through this.

My request to each of you reading this is to pray for our family. Things do not get easier at this point. You just learn to cope a little better. You still have those breakdown moments, and that's ok. Relay on God for your strength at that time. I do every step of the way. He is my strength. I ask that you come to rely on him too, if he is not a part of your life. I need him everyday and you will too. Please sign the guestbook as you share in my walk. It lifts me up to know that others are out there sharing in my walk.

Wednesday, January 21, 2004 9:58 AM CST

UPDATE!
I am so sorry it is taking me so long to get through this week, but that's the way I feel. Although I have to admit today I woke up feeling pretty good about things. I know where Adam is and he is so safe. I just always wonder if he misses me and wonders when I am coming to join him. Then I remember it is in my christian walk, and hope and faith in the Lord that I will see him again.

ISAIAH 40:31: But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

This verse reminds me of Adam's hope and faith in his sweet Jesus. I too must do the same to be with him.

Also, this week at First Baptist Church School, begins a "Pennies for Patients" campaign. It will be done by the children over the next three weeks. They will collect pennies, coins, whatever donations and they will benefit the Leukemia & Lymphoma Socity. It is being done in memory of Adam and in honor of James Baker another student who was diagnosed with ALL in second grade, and is now is 8th grade (remission also). This is something I came across in my research of leukemia and suggested the school consider doing. Also, our Fine Arts week starts. The children are working with Jill King, the friend of ours who wrote the song for Adam, on making a CD. On the CD the children will be singing "Adam's Song" as they all call it. So, I will have a busy week which will help keep my mind off things.

REFLECTION: Last year....dreadful. The day after his death, the first night at home without him. My house was like a zoo. Busy, lots of wonderful people taking care of us, cleaning, praying, and the food coming in was unbelieveable. My aunt Shirley pretty much stayed at the house everyday taking care of things. The support system we had was awesome. It was time to make arrangements. How do you make arrangements to bury your baby? Not something I wanted to do. Upon arrival at the funeral home, we met Brother Steve and Brother Troy. Without their support we could not have gotten through that ordeal. They, along with the Karen Anderson at the funeral home guided us all the way. When it came time to start completing forms, Tim literally froze on me. He came undone. He could not remember a thing. He really broke down. At this point I called his brother Paul who came in and helped us finalize the paperwork.

Now, the most dreadful time....picking out the casket. I walked in the room and just about lost it. There are not many options for a child of Adam's age. Thank God! It was either a white or gray-blue looking casket which did not look warm to me. But then how can a casket be warm. I kept telling myself it is just a box that his shell is placed in and his spirit and soul are in heaven. I would remind myself of this over and over. Did it make it easier, NO. So, I broke down and ran out of the room, Tim after me. It was then that Tim's brother, said he and Brother Steve would do it together, or at least narrow things down. Paul knew I liked wood, cherry, maghony, and there were none that size. He immediately got on the phone along with the funeral home and the search began. It took awhile and we ended up with one a little larger than we needed, but it was what Tim and I wanted. As far as the burial site, we were to meet with the gentlemen on Wednesday.

The day was spent running from place to place picking out things and making arrangements, flowers, etc. You do not have time to stop and have a mental breakdown. You rely upon the Lord to get you through such a horrible ordeal. That evening....I do not really remember. All I know is I did not sleep.

THURSDAY, JANUARY 22, 2004

Today, well I spent it doing things around the house. I was worried about Andrew today. He went on a field trip for school to the Fine Arts Museum in Houston and this is the first one I have not driven on. Makes me worry a little, but I have to lighten up with him. He made the trip OK. After school he had his last basketball game. Wow what a game. They played really well. I am so proud of him. What a great kid. His brother would be so proud of him. Adam always told Andrew how proud he was of him when he would be recognized for honor roll, winning art contest, etc. He looked up to his brother. Now his brother looks up to him.

REFLECTION: Last year it was Wednesday. At 10:00 am we were meeting at the funeral home again. I was meeting Kimberly McGinley, the friend and hair stylist that always did Adam's hair. She agreed to trim Adam's hair and "jack-it-up" like he liked it. He loved her running her fingers through his hair. Now, one last time, but he would not feel it. This was especially hard for her as she had never done this before, and a child she loved at that. I hope for those of you reading this you never have to walk in the room where they have the bodies after embalmment. Please forgive me..... I will not go into details except that it is very cold and sterile. I lost it, everyone did. That was the hardest thing I know I have ever had to do in my life. I wanted to pick my baby up and run. He was all alone in a cold, strange place. I prayed to God for strength.

Thank God I made it through. They dressed Adam. His brother helped pick out his clothes. He said mom, make sure you put on his Bob-the-Builder underwear, we did. He had his corduroy khaki colored pants, red-plaid Tommy Hilfiger shirt (Andrew has one like it and wanted it to be like his), and a vest that was navy with red and khaki trim, along with his hi-top brown, leather shoes Andrew also picked out. He looked so handsome. My "handsome dude" is what he used to like to be called. We placed many special items in the casket with him along with his very special baby doll, Charlotte. (That my husband was always upset about until the day he got sick, then it did not matter.) In the room, we decorated it with some of his very special toys. Tim set up the Lionel train set that he has been collecting over the years. Adam had just had it out during the Christmas break, he loved it. We always told him when he was five he could play with it by himself. What did it really matter.....now. The room looked like a playroom, baby dolls, pink stoller he received for Christmas, and Tonka trunks. A child's playland. Andrew wanted it to be what Adam would have wanted.....it was. His true playland was really in heaven.

After leaving there, later that afternoon we finally settled on a plot for the grave. I was starting to panic about that. We had several options, but Tim wanted me to be close in where I could go at anytime and know I was safe. Details were coming together. That evening my girlfriends were with me till late, working out the details for the funeral, music, etc. What true, wonderful friends I have. Thank you all for being my support system.

FRIDAY, JANUARY 23, 2004

Pretty good day today. Went to school for the Talent Show that was to be the close of Fine Arts Week. What talent we have in our school. Andrew had some photography and art work in the Artist portion. Mickey and I decided to go to Bryan for a while. This helped keep my mind off things. Thanks for all you do Mickey. I don't say it enough.

REFLECTION: It is Thursday, last year. The day of the visitation. I tried to relax as much as possible that day. We went out to the cemetery to make sure the gravesite was being prepared. Lord did I dread this day. Visitation was from 6:00 to 8:00 pm at the Brenham Memorial Chapel in Brenham. We arrived around 5:30 pm and people were already in line. We greeted people as best we could. I think at some point in the visitation I just became numb. I had already cried so much that I could not even cry any more. At times I felt as if I were comforting the visitors. I knew Adam was with Jesus and I was reassuring them that it was OK he was safe, at peace, and experiencing no pain. The pain he would have felt if he had survived would have been unbearable. Well, it was 8:00 p.m. and the line was nowhere near the end. People just kept pouring in. I could not believe it. I think everyone in our town was there. It was freezing cold and windy and some people stood in line for an hour outside just to get in and express their sympathy. They said it was the largest amount of people that had seen. Visitation finally ended around 9:45 p.m. I was completely exhausted and ready to go home and sleep. I kissed my little precious bye and left.

Yes, I did sleep, very well, total exhaustion. Thank you God was a peaceful sleep.

SATURDAY, JANUARY 24, 2004

How am I today? Not so good, crappy to be exact. Adam was on my mind. I was suppose to go to a funeral of a friend, my age, who died very suddenly, but could not bring myself to do it. The weather was horrible. Rainy and nasty, depressing. Instead, Tim and I helped Andrew work on his science project. We needed the diversion. Later that afternoon, we spent time at the cemetery. That evening we visited with my mom and Mr. Ta-Toe and all went out to eat in Chappell Hill. It was great to spend time with them and get our minds off Adam. Overall, we had a pleasant day, considering it was the 1 yr. anniversary of Adam actually being buried. I tried not to think of that though. The diversion worked well too.

REFLECTION: Last year, Friday, the day of the funeral. FBCS was dismissing early since the funeral was scheduled at 2:00 p.m. from the church. I spent the morning sleeping late...until around 10:00 a.m. Relaxed as I dressed for the day. At noon the church hosted a luncheon for the family. It was wonderful. We had a friend who so graciously paid for all the food. You know who you are, and we thank you. What wonderful people in this world. The time was getting nearer. I felt rested and at peace.

We began our walk over from the Pahl House to the school building. At this point, we walked into Adam's little classroom. Tim and I just sat there and cried. There was his cubby, his name, his belongings, just as he left them. They were waiting for his return, but no such luck. As we looked in the window, we found a snowman, one like he made right before he got sick. His mistakenly brought home Evan's and was so upset about it when he realized it was not his. He was so proud of it up until that point. We picked up the snowman, it was his, his name was on it. Nancy Fritz walked into the room as we were crying over this snowman. We told her the story and how important it was to him. We asked her to go into the church and place it in his casket. She did!

The gym and an extra room were set up with chairs and TV's so that people who could not fit into the church could view from these two rooms. They were expecting a large number of people. Just before the service, as we were sitting in the family room, in walks Dr. Ghattas. He was the doctor who delivered both my boys. Together we cried and cried. We talked about how it seemed like yesterday I was in labor delivering this precious little one. Dr. Ghattas said he does not attend patients funeral, but he had to make this one. He is a wonderful doctor and friend. It really meant the world to have him there.

The funeral begins. I could not believe the people, all rooms were full and people were still standing outside the church. Adam was well loved. The service was very hard. Brother Steve, Brother Troy, Marty and the Praise Team, Jill King, Brother Bob, and FBCS children who sang, all did a wonderful job at making it what Adam would have wanted it to be. All his favorite songs and people. What a celeration. I know he was smiling from above and saying "all this for me". To the cemetery. The weather was so beautiful, but cold and windy. We had a cold snap and it got down into the 20's so we had a cold day. Well, this was it. His little shell was going to be placed in the ground. This disburbed me. I knew were his soul and spirit were, but it still bothered me to know that that beautiful face and smile was being covered up, hidden. It didn't seem fair or right. I had to rely on God at that moment and remember the following verse:

II CORINTHIANS 5:1: Now we know that if our eartly tent we dwell in is destroyed, we will have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands.

I recall this verse often. This was the end, time to place the casket in the vault. They suggested I not stay for this part, but I had to. I had to be there for the bitter end. The casket was lowered, however, the locks failed to lock into place. They tried several times. They finally had to return to the funeral home and bring back another vault. I was so glad I did stay until they finally had everything done. The sound of that dirt being poured on top of the vault was horrible. Why does it have to be this way, I asked myself. Why. It was over, the casket was covered, the flowers were placed on the grave, it was time to leave. Now, closure time. Do you ever really have closure. Yes and No.

Back home again. People were leaving, things were getting quiet, life was settling down. Settling down without our Adam. I did not want that. I thought of him all night. I know in my heart that he is not there at that gravesite, he is in heaven, warm and with his heavenly Father. But, I couldn't help thinking about it, was he cold, alone. QUIT IT, I TOLD MYSELF! Think of how happy he is being where he wanted most to be. With that in mind, I said my prayers and went to sleep.

Monday, January 19, 2004

I'm back, hopefully I can get through this eventually. Today Andrew is out of school for MLK Day. We all just decided we were going to stay homebound today. Stayed in our PJ's and it felt good. Andrew went to a friend's house later that evening so he could attend a 4H meeting at their club since he missed his January club meeting. Makeup time....hard month for us. Tim and I worked on the Celebration of Life scheduled for Adam tomorrow. We went to the gravesite and placed new flowers, a crystal "I Love You" sign, a windchime and various other special notes on his grave. Jill King and John Faulk came over and we put all the music and slideshows together. It was hard, very hard.

REFLECTION: Last year this time, Tim and I were suppose to be getting a night's rest in the hotel. We got there around 1:00 a.m. and were going to go back to the hospital at 6:00 a.m. Around 3:00 a.m. that morning Adam was calling me. I heard his voice. He wanted me to come see him. I woke Tim and told him we had to go. We showered real fast and flew over to hospital. Tim and I prayed over Adam at that moment and we quite asking God to make him well. We simply prayed for "GOD'S WILL". We said Dear God, let you will be done. If it is your will that Adam leave this earth and be with you and an eternal life, then we release him. But Lord if you choose for him to lay here and fight for his life, then we will do our part. Just let your will be done now.

Adam was still in a coma. When I looked at him, he looked so peaceful, so happy, almost as if he had a smile on his face. I will never forget that look. The first thing I did was pull up the covers and look at his feet. They had been so swollen and in my dream his feet were not swollen. Well, sure enough, they had gone down in size. So had his neck, face, lips, tongue, everything. I could even see his little shoulders again instead of this big, puffy, blown up looking little body. There was something about that moment that I could look at him and actually see my "little precious" Adam. He looked himself. I felt it and I knew it. Was he still in the coma? Adam's soul had left. He had gone home to be with his sweet Jesus. That was not Adam there, that was his shell. His sweet, sweet, spirit was already taken by the Holy Spirt to his heavenly Father. Was I sad? Yes and no. Sad that his physical body would no longer be here on this earth with me. No longer could I hold him, kiss him, rock him, love him. Then, a sense of peace came over me. He was OK. He was not suffering and God did not let him suffer. He could have laid there for months, years. At this point Tim and I discussed how he looked himself again. It was then that I shared by feelings with Tim about Adam's soul already in heaven. Tim I think felt the same way, but it was harder for him to say it.

The rest of the day we spent together the three of us, of course, with tons of visitors coming in and out. We sent for Andrew to come and see his brother. We told him that he looked a lot better than he had. Andrew was so happy and all the way down the hall he just kept asking, "is he going to be talking and awake". In his little mind he believed Adam was going to be alright. He refused to believe he was a serious as he was. Dr. Myers told Andrew that Adam was very, very ill and might not make it; however, Andrew never gave up the hope, especially when he walked in the room. He too agreed Adam looked like Adam. He said that he even looked like he was smiling. This was so very hard for us to see Andrew with so much hope. We all prayed over him. That day we kept his Christian music playing all day. We all seemed to have a sense of peace that had come over us. Somewhere, deep inside us, that is when we feel like Adam really left this earth. On Monday morning Chad was going to be coming back in to run another brain profusion test on him, to see if the small amount of bloodflow we saw on Saturday was still there. Deep inside, Tim and I knew, there would be none.

TUESDAY, JANUARY 20, 2004

Today, I dread today. The one year anniversary of our little Adam earning his angel wings. The day was going to be hard with the Celebration of Life planned in the evening. Tim and I spent the day together in pray and quite time. We went to the cemetery around 10:45 a.m. since Adam's official time of death was 11:01 a.m., we wanted to be there. There were so many things brought and placed on his gravesite. Little children are always leaving things for him. We cried and of course asked WHY, WHY, WHY? We always do and we always will. Does that mean we are mad at God? No! Does it mean we have lots of questions, Yes. We always will. We figure the only time our questions will be answered is when we are united with Adam in heaven. Then, I want to go to that WHY ROOM, if there is such a place, and ask God WHY?

We arrived at First Baptist Church early, around 4:30 p.m. We sat silently and prayed and prepared things for the celebration. People began to arrive. We passed out candles and childhood gold ribbons, which represent childhood cancer awareness. The service was absolutely beautiful. It reflected Adam's last year of life. How happy he was. We wanted it to be uplifting. We tried to focus on where he is now, in heaven with his heavenly father, instead of where he is not. People were laughing and crying at the same time. And believe it or not, I got up and spoke a little about Adam. Tim, Andrew and I were going to present the Memories Shadow Box to the school anyway, so I was going to have to be up there anyway. Well, I began talking about little Adam. It gave me such joy to talk about what he did in his short life. I am so very proud of him. When we lit the candles it was beautiful, especially with the song "This Little Light of Mine" playing. Adam loved to sing that. I had a wonderful sense of peace over me. I was at peace with his eternal life in heaven at that very moment.

When I went home that evening I felt good. I actually slept better than I had in a long, long time. Thank you dear God for allowing me the chance to rest, to feel at peace, and know that tonight was truly a "Celebration of Life" for Adam.

REFLECTION: Last year, in the early morning hours of January 20th, his Sunday School teacher, Charlie Pyle, came and stayed with him while we stepped out for a while. He caught him up on his Bible Lessons he had been missing while being sick. So, now how did I feel? I don't think I did. It is then I think I sort of became numb. I knew the Lord my God was with me and that he would get me through whatever was facing me. I put my trust in him even more so at that point. When Tim and I arrived back in the early morning hours, Charlie too was smiling and said that he felt like Adam had a good night. The life support system was finally adjusted to the sweet spot where they were not having to give him a needle to adjust this, that or the other, as far as vital organs, and vital signs. It seemed as if the glory of God had taken over. At that time it wasn't that the machine was finally making Adam's body function as normal as possible while being on life support, it was God being in control. Adam was not there.

Around 8:00 a.m. that morning Chad came in and ran the brain profusion test again. Deep down inside, I knew there was no reason for it. I felt Adam's spirit with his heavenly Father; however, we had to have it performed since the 4 days had passed and this was the time that they said all parabaributates would be out of his system. If there was any brain function, it would be present now. Well, the lights did not light up. We knew it, we expected it, we accepted it. We knew Adam was at peace. So now the decision, pull him off the life support system? We gathered our entire family, Brother Steve, Brother Troy, and Nancy and all went into the conference room for the final report. As we sat at the tables, probably 20 of us including the doctors, we started in prayer. It was at the time that Dr. Jefferson, the neurologist, announced that there was no brain activity and that he was clinically brain dead. He was pronounced dead at 11:01 a.m. They asked us what we wanted to do from that point forward. How did we want to handle things? Tim and I decided we wanted him removed from the life support system and all machines, needles, etc. all taken out. We wanted him lying there in the bed, fresh and clean, with no needles in him anywhere. I requested that the blinds be drawn and his christian music be playing. I infomed them that once we entered we did not want to be disturbed and would stay until we were ready to leave.

It was at this time, we allowed all the family to go in and say good bye. Lastly, Tim, Andrew, and I entered the room. He was so beautiful and peaceful lying in the bed. Randy, his nurse cleaned him and even gave him a sponge bath, and jacked his hair up like I always had it. Our little Adam was there. Tim picked him up and held him in his arms by the window. I just remember him holding him and crying so hard. He walked toward me and placed him in my arms as I was sitting on the bed. The same way he was placed in my arms when he came into this world. However, that feeling now, I'll never forget. He was so totally helpless, lifeless. Not like when he was placed in my arms after being born. I laid him in the bed and covered him up. Andrew crawled up on one side of him, me on the other and Tim in the middle. We sang, prayed, cried, and caressed him. We could not believe this would be the last time we would hold him. Adam was so beautiful at that moment. He was painfree and his body was completely back to normal. It really did not seem possible. I had to put my ear to his chest to listen for a heartbeat. Listened, but not hear. Dear Lord he really was gone. None of us wanted to leave him. We just continued to talk to him and tell him how much we loved him and how much he was going to be missed. We stayed in the room probably 45 minutes to an hour. Tim suggested we leave. He did not want his little body to begin to feel cold for Andrew's sake. He was so warm and cuddly. Even Andrew kept saying how could he be dead if he was still so warm.

We finally exited his room. At this time, paper after paper had to be signed. What all I signed I could not tell you. I think at that point I lost touch with reality completely. All I remember is going back to the hotel about mid afternoon to lie down and being awoke hours later. It was time to leave. Time to go home. Time to leave my baby behind. This was not what was suppose to happen. I was not suppose to be leaving without him. I never left him anywhere. This time I did and would not be coming back for him. I can remember feeling scared for him being alone that night. How silly of me, he was not alone, he was with his SWEET JESUS and Mrs. Schwettmann was waiting for him also.

Walking back into our home was oh so very hard. When I walked in the back door I lost it. His shoes, coat, etc. that sit in the utility room were all gone. I freaked out. I ran through the house looking for them, very angry I might add, screaming and crying, throwing things. When I finally found them in his closet, I placed every one of them back in there place, just as he had left them. I was so mad that someone moved his things. I know they were trying to help and thought it would hurt less if I did not have to see them as I walked in the door. Everything hurt. I wanted him back and right now. That night, the three of us crawled in bed together and cried ourselves to sleep in the wee morning hours.

Friday, January 16, 2004 Cont'd

Well, I'm back. Yes, this has been a very hard couple of days. When I really stopped and had to think about writing the next couple of days, I became almost sick. I apoligize for leaving you hanging. This is one of the hardest times in my life right now. It does not seem like it has been a year already. But, then on the other hand it seems like forever since I have held my "Little Precious" in my arms. I ache for the feeling.

REFLECTION: After arriving in the ER, they took us in immediately, checked Adam out, as he was complaining that his stomach was hurting at this time. His right eye was swollen, but yet they looked sunken in. A very strange appearance. He wasn't really crying, only when he had a pain. The nurse checked him out and diagnosed it as the Norwalk virus, which several of the nurses in the ER had. They said they were experiencing the same stomach pains. They informed us they would probably have to give him some fluids since he looked a little dehydrated. Also, explained that they would do bloodwork and it would be an hour before results came. They suggested one of us leave and go get Andrew situated, which they knew we had another child, since I was a regular in the ER with my dad and his cancer. I left and picked up Andrew who was at my dad's with Tim when all of this took place. We knew Andrew was OK there for a little while, but dad was not in any condition to look after him for the night. I made arrangements for Andrew to go to mom's for the night, with friends picking him up the next day for a school field trip. Andrew was very concerned about his brother and wanted to know what was wrong. Of course, at this time, we thought he just had a virus and needed some fluids.

As I arrived back at the ER, Tim greeted me with this horrified look on his face. It was at that time that he informed me that they thought Adam had leukemia. I sort of laughed it off and said they were probably wrong. The doctor had said on Tuesday that if a blood test was run, it would be out of wack and it would appear as if he had leukemia. This was all due to the throwing up. However, they ran a second test and the result of his white blood count was over 500,000, which is unbelieveable. Usually they do not exceed 10,000. You could tell by the look on everyones faces they were scared. They had never seen a number so high. They immediately starting calling Texas Children's Hospital in Houston to have him transferred ASAP. In the meantime, I began to call my pastors, family, and a couple of friends. Within a few minutes, the waiting room was full of people, praying for little Adam. The news spread like wildfire and everyone began working out schedules to help our family.

Standing beside little Adam, holding his hands, and listening to him scream was more than I could handle. He was not in pain long, maybe 15 minutes, but boy was it horrible. I will never forget us trying to hold him down. It took four people. They were trying to give him some medicine for the pain and put him out. Brother Steve and his wife Celia, were in the room with me at the time. Tim stepped out to inform everyone that it was not good. At that time Adam lifted himself up off the table and began grabbing and scratching at my neck. He said "no needles mommy, no needles". I will never forget those words in my life. He was fighting like you would not believe. We all stood over him, praying and crying at the same time. It was unbelieveable that this could all be taking place so fast. It was a NIGHTMARE". We still tried to remain very positive and have faith in the Lord that all would be ok once we arrived in Houston. We were told he had ALL which was curable with 3 yrs. of chemo. We could do it. Yes, we could, with God, our family, church, and friends. We were ready to handle what was before us. We had faith in the Lord and hope.

It is now around 7:30 p.m. and Adam was given Demarohl to make him rest for the ride to Houston. It took a little while to get acceptance from Houston and for paperwork to be ready. Around 8:30 p.m. we were on our way. I rode in the ambulance, with Tim following behind in the suburban. Adam was fine on the trip, oxygen 97 - 98nd all indicators normal. He was just resting. Upon arrival (around 9:15 p.m.), things, begin to fade for just a few moments there. The next thing I remember I was standing in the ER with children in the halls everywhere, sick, sick. Adam was rushed into a room, us standing in there beside him. Now is when all hell broke loose. GOD HELP ADAM, WE PRAYED!

We are standing next to our son's bed and all of a sudden the oxygen level drops to 46blood start to flow from his nose, papers are being pushed under my nose saying sign this. My husband is over listening to another conversation doctors are having and hear them say "we may have to split his head open to relieve the pressure in the brain, it is swelling so fast that it is pushing the brain stem down". There must be 15 people in this tiny room when all of a sudden they say "sign this", they begin to intubate him, send us out of the room, and tell us he will have to be placed on life support. Standing outside I can remember that sick feeling. My son was fighting for his life. I began praying to God and begging him to save my son. They called us back in about 5 minutes later and told us he will remain on life support, be rushed to PICU, and is living from 1 hr. to the next. They said they could only say from hour to hour what will happen. It was all in the hands of God. I trusted that, but was not ready for that. I was so confused and in total denial that this could even be happening. Perhaps I was just dreaming. When we went back into the room, he looked really bad. His face was about twice its size, blood coming out of the nose and mouth, and a life support tube coming out of his mouth. His bottom lip and tongue were so swollen they were just hanging out of his mouth. I could not believe things could change this rapidly.

Very rapidly, we are wheeled to the 7th floor of Texas Children's Hospital PICU. I have never seen so many tubes, needles, machines, etc. in all my life. My poor, helpless, baby lay there hooked up to everything under the sun. He did not even look like himself. His whole body was swollen and all these little red spots (petechia) were all over him. I looked at my husband and said "I think our little precious has gone to be with his sweet Jesus". My husband said, "don't think like that". I did not want to but I sure felt it. I know if he had, he was pain-free.

SATURDAY, JANUARY 17, 2004

Today I feel horrible, as if the life has literally been taken out of me. I think back to that feeling of finding out all the bad news. I can remember praying like I have never prayed before. This morning I am missing my little precious but at the same time thanking God for him sparing my son of the horrible pain that most children have to go through. May God be with you parents that sit by day after day, month after month, year after year, watching your child suffer.

REFLECTION: Last year on this day, 2:00 a.m. in the morning, Dr. Lisa Wang calls us out of the room and says she needs to explain a few things. At this point we sit in front of a computer and look at a brain scan of Adam's little head. We cannot believe what we see. The entire head looks as if some picked up bucket of rocks and threw them into his brain. They called them "blasts". It looked like a traffice jam. Dr. Wang continued to explain the critical condition that Adam was in.

Back in his room we are in total disbelief that something like this can take place so fast. They begin chemo to try and bring the white blood count down, once it is down they bring huge machines in and begin pulling the bad blood from his body. It is amazing and scarey what they are doing. Early the next morning Dr. Wang and Dr. Myers inform us that he has AML (Subtype 4/5) which is a rare form of leukemia, especially in children. They tell us it has taken over his central nervous system (brain, liver, spleen). From that point forward nothing we ever received was good news. Everything was bad. However, we could not give up the hope. We stayed at our son's bed night and day. We had so many people supporting us. There were probably 100 people in the waiting rooms praying for Adam. The hospital was packed with vistors for Adam. People spent the night on the floors, in the chapel, in Adam's room, etc. Food was being brought in by the containers full. The love, support, and prayers were overwhelming. Tim and I prayed night and day that a miracle would take place. We did not lose faith in God and hoped that Adam would make it. We knew that if he pulled through we would have to give him constant care for the rest of his life. He would not be able to walk, talk, eat, etc. We told God that if that was what he wanted, we would do it. We wanted Adam to live no matter what condition he would be in.

Later that night, the doctors told us they would be running a brain profusion test the next morning. This would tell us if there was any bloodflow to the brain, since the brain waves showed "none" on paper. But, he was put on parabarbituates to keep him in a comatose state. These would wear off and in around 4 days we would have an accurate brain wave reading. That night we prayed and prayed. So did our entire support group. We prayed for that miracle.

SUNDAY, JANUARY 18, 2004

Today I was feeling even worse. I did not want to get up and go to church, but knew that is where I needed to be. Tim and I are starting a ministry, which I will tell you more about later, and we had a table set up for our missions Sunday. It was hard to be there. Our ministry is going to be called "Adam's Angels Ministry". Of course, it is in honor of our son, and we are going to help families who are experiencing childhood cancer. Some people came to our table and most shyed away. Anytime you talk about the death of a child, people tend to shy away from the subject. It is not something that humans want to deal with. It is not suppose to be this way. Our human nature cannot accept the fact that our bodies are gone and that the spirit is in heaven, alive, for eternity.

REFLECTION: Last year, on this date we were preparing for the brain profusion test. This huge machine was brought into the room, hooked up to Adam's head and a fluid placed in the IV which would light up the activity of the brain. All was explained to us. The gentleman (Dr. Chad) that performed the test was wonderful, a Christian. He too prayed over Adam with us before we began the test.

Well, the procedure begins around 10 a.m.. The screen appears dark. Tim does not want to watch. I do. I have to. I am the type that had to see everything to believe it. Quite a while goes by and we see nothing, which is not good. All of a sudden we see a tiny portion of the brain light up. Very faint, but it lights up. Chad informs us that it appears there is some bloodflow to the brain. He does explain it is very, very, faint and that it could be nothing, but that he would render his full report after studying the test very carefully. That 1/2 ounce of hope was all we needed. We had not had any good news ever. That was the first bit of anywhere good news we had. We had to go with it. We had to place our hope and trust in God at that point that little Adam was not brain dead. He was still alive. In very bad condition, but alive. The neurologist was wanting to take him off of the life support, however, Dr. Wang said give it 4 days. Now, with this test showing some bloodflow we knew we made the right decision to have this test run. Chad said he would come back with the full report later that afternoon. The day lasted forever.

Around 3:30 p.m. we are in the room with Adam with about 10 other visitors. We are all praying continuously over him. The nurses are being so very good to us seeing how we are breaking all the rules of 2 people at a time. I think they saw our group of determined people, full of prayer, and realized they were there for a purpose. Dr. Wang, Dr. Myers, and Chad all come in along with the other line of the medical team. They inform us that there was still a tiny indication of bloodflow. It was not much and they prepared us for the fact that it might be gone tomorrow. That was ok, it was there today. God gave us that sign of hope. Hope to get us through the day.

We all beamed and cheered with joy. Thanked God and asked him to continue to be with us. That night Tim and I went to the hotel and caught about 2-3 hrs. of shut-eye while Rhonda Boeker and Karen Nix, Mamaw, and Uncle Paul all stayed and prayed over Adam until we returned.

Thank you dear God for giving us that 1/2 ounce of hope. You have not left us.

Friday, January 16, 2004 11:36 PM CST

Today is the day I have been dreading for a long time. In addition to dreading it the weather was awful. Raining and depressing. I woke up this morning very tired and exhausted. I was up until 3:15 a.m. this morning with two very dear friends working on Adam's special Celebration of Life for January 20. Most of the day I spent working on things regarding Adam, his celebration, his ministry, etc. Lots of time thinking, crying, and just feeling totally rotten. Around 2:45 this afternoon, I crawled into my sons bed and fell asleep. Around 4:00 p.m. another dear friend showed up, just knowing I was going to need her. Yes, I did. We talked about last year at this exact time, laughed, cried, me mostly crying. It was raining, however, I decided I needed to be at the cemetery. My friend drove me and she sat out there with me for about 45 minutes, in the rain. I talked with Adam, questioned things, and yes of course cried. Did I feel better after that, YES.

After returning home we met our husbands and sons and went to eat. We spent time together reflecting on Adam, while the men worked on a powerpoint presentation for Adam's Celebration of Life. Now, the fun begins. Andrew went home with them, so it's quite, rainy and dreary. God how I miss Adam.

Dear God,
I just come to you right this very moment and ask for you to please be with us as we go through this one yr. anniversary date of Adam's death. I know he is by your side and loving it. I am truly happy and proud of him. His strength, faith, and hope of a better life with you, his heavenly Father. We miss him terribly, but know he is in the best place ever. Take care of our little precious and keep him safe in your arms until we can hold his little body again. Thank you for the precious gift named Adam that you gave us. We had him for a short time only but knew from the beginning he was not ours to keep. We knew you would call for him again one day, we just didn't think it would be so soon. Adam, we thank you for the courage, faith, hope, and love you brought to our family.
Amen

REFLECTION: Last year....woke up this morning, tired. Adam was very restless during the night. Came to our room several times. Complaining he couldn't sleep, pushing the covers off saying they hurt him. As he slowly awoke in our bed he had "pied" on himself just as he stood up. Tim put him in the shower and together they showered. He sang happily. He went to the Family Room, laid on the recliner and started to go back to sleep. I brought him back to the bed and together we slept. Woke up around 10:45 a.m. He said he was hungry and wanted something to eat. I fixed him chicken noodle soup, crackers, and Gatorade. After eating the two of us watched TV in the recliner all curled up. Around 1:30 he went down for a nap in my room. I laid down for around 30 minutes and then got up and did a few things, since I had not accomplished much during the week. Around 3:45 he woke up. Came into the kitchen rubbing his eyes and saying they burned and hurt. I picked him up and noticed his right eye looked a little swollen. You know how when you sleep sometimes your eyes appear a little puffy when you first wake up. He kept rubbing them. He asked for some Gatorade, sat on my lap and drank it as the telephone rang. I was talking to a friend when he let out a scream. A scream like I had never heard before. Painful. I hung up immediately and askd him what was wrong. He said his eyes hurt. I took him to the bathroom and rinsed them out thinking maybe he had gotten some salt from the crackers in his eyes. I laid him on the bed and wiped them with a wet washcloth. He looked up at me and said "I can't see". This scared me to death. I grabbed him, looking into his eyes and asked for him to tell me what color my shirt was. He smiled and said "black", which it was. So I thought he was teasing because he was always playing jokes. Then, he began to laugh. As he laughed I saw the strangest thing. His gums were red and swollen, bleeding, and appeared as if they were pulling away from his teeth. At that moment I will never forget what he said to me. "Mommy, you are so gorgeous", as he grabbed my face with both his hands. Those words will be in my mind forever. I picked him up and ran to the telephone, called my husband and told him to get home immediately that something was wrong with Adam. In the meantime I called the clinic to see about getting in, this was around 4:15 p.m. and they said we could come in and go to triage but would probably need to see the night clinic because the waiting room was packed with sick kids waiting to see the doctor. At that time, Tim arrived. By this time, Adam was acting as if he could barely stay awake, and not quite sure what was going on. We packed him up and immediately went to the emergency room in Brenham. From that point forward is where the nightmare began. We felt as if we were in a "911" eposide.

Will continue tomorrow......as this is going to be very hard to put into words. Dear God, help me sleep tonight.

Thursday, January 15, 2004

Today we all awoke with wonderful, happy thought and memories of out little Adam. We feel good about his life and where he is now. It's funny, I actually thought I would feel really low today, but I don't. I am able to laugh. Andrew even talked about happy times. What a good feeling. My Andrew always reminds me "Adam is where he wanted most to be, and most importantly, he is happy". Wow, that is only because of God. He is powerful. That out of something so bad there is good, and we can see it.

REFLECTION: Last year on this date, Adam woke up happy, feeling really good, no fever. I kept him home from school and had pretty much decided he would stay home all week since so many children were sick this time of year. He and I had quality time on this day. Just the two of us. Wednesdays was always our day anyway. Since we had been sick we decided it would be just us two. All day he was happy. He was upset because he was missing his homework. So....he sat at the table and wrote all his alphabets, numbers, etc. After school, he and Andrew played and played. They spent their quality time together. After dinner that night we all spend time as a family. He called us all into the kitchen and it was as if he was giving us all a Bible lesson. He placed sheets of paper on our tile floor and jumped from piece to piece. I was worried he was going to fall and bust his head. (Wow, that would have been simple, we could have fixed that.) Anyway he instructed us that he was trying to figure out how Jesus walked on the water. He said "when I get to heaven I am going to ask Jesus exactly how he did that". Why was a 4 yr. old talking about this? When he took his bath that night, he stood up, holding onto the wall and was trying to place his foot on top of the water. Again, he told us that he was going to find out from Jesus how he did that. Wow, how powerful.

Our last happy moment that evening was when he called us back into the kitchen. On the floor he had laid out all these "green happy faces" that he gets in school for being good. He had around 45 laid out. He called us in there and said "Look everyone, Adam is a happy, happy boy". He was...truly happy. Deep inside the Holy Spirit was calling him and he was happy about where he was about to go. He was trying to prepare us and let us know it was Ok to go and that we should be happy because he was happy. I did mention to him that he had 2 unhappy faces in that stack somewhere, but they were not laid out. His reply was "oh no mommy, we don't need to remember those unhappy faces". If I would have just listened to what he was trying to tell us. He knew! For us he wanted memories of total happiness.

We retired for bed in prayer and with happy wonderful thoughts. Adam was feeling great and was so happy. Did we know that all was about to change? No! Only Adam and God knew.

Wednesday, January 14, 2004 11:45 PM CST

REFLECTION CONTINUED: As we were driving home, Adam requesting we drive over an old wooden bridge (which is really high). I said no because it was longer and we needed to get him home since he had thrown up. He said, "but mom I want to go on that bridge because it gets me high to heaven and I want to be close to my sweet Jesus, high in heaven". Andrew and I both said "not today Adam". Well we drive on. A conversation begins like so....

ADAM: Mom, I don't want to die.
MOM: Adam, I don't want you to die either.
ADAM: Mom, when I die can we all die together.
MOM: Adam, I wish it could be that way but we never know
what God has planned for us.
ADAM: But Mom, I don't want to die by myself.
MOM: Adam, I don't want you to either, but could we
please stop talking about it right now.
ADAM: But, mom I want to go see Mrs. Schwettmann.
MOM: Adam, you know where Mrs. Schwettmann is, right?
ADAM: Yes, mom, in heaven with my sweet Jesus and I am
going to see her.
MOM: Adam, that's enough of that talk about dieing.
ANDREW: Adam, don't talk about that. We don't want to die.

At this point he gets very quite. We pull into the garage. Andrew goes in the house and I turn to unbuckle Adam's seatbelt to help him get out. He just sits there and says, "Mom, you know what, it's OK. You do not have to die with me. I'm not scared and I won't be by myself because when I walk through those gates my Mrs. Schwettmann and my sweet Jesus will be waiting for me. I then said Adam that is enough of that talk. That was the end of that. The remainder of the night he was happy-go-lucky. During the night he staring running the low-grade temperature again.

Who was Mrs. Schwettmann? She was a elderly family friend, who was also our "adopted grandmother" in a nursing home mission we had at their school. Adam and Andrew both loved her. Adam would always crawl up in her lap and tell her how much he loved her. Anyway she died the year before. To be exact on January 14, 2002. One year to the date that all this conversation was taking place.

What was happening? At the time I did not know. But after Adam died, I figured it out. The Holy Spirit was calling Adam to come and be with his sweet Jesus. Mrs. Schwettmann was sent down by the Holy Spirit to tell Adam. Adam in turn was preparing us. He was OK with all of this "going to heaven issue". It was us, that wasn't and couldn't grasp what my little 4 yr. old was preparing me for. He had the faith! Like they say childlike faith.

WEDNESDAY CONTINUED, JANUARY 14, 2004, 11:55 PM

Ok, how did today go? Well, not too bad actually after only 4 hrs. of sleep. I spent the day doing lots of running, meetings, etc. I also made my daily visit to Adam and my dad's gravesites. However, today marks 2 yrs. since Mrs. Schwettmann went to heaven. I went to her gravesite and placed flowers on it. I know she is with my "little precious" and taking care of him. That gives me reassurance. He is with his sweet Jesus, papaw, and Mrs. Schwettmann.

By late afternoon I had to catch about 30 minutes of sleep. I attended my class at church on Raising a Christian Child and then Tim and I had to make a presentation before our Missions Committee at church. Through all of this experience we have seen the need for physical, emotional, and spiritual ministering at the hospital where Adam was. We also feel Adam started a little mission with his Jesus and it is up to us to continue it. So, we are starting a ministry called "Adam's Angels". It will minister to families experiencing the disease of childhood cancer. We were not alone during our loss and we don't want anyone else to be either. We had wonderful church, family, and community support both during and after our loss and we want to in turn give back to those who are in need. This is in the very preliminary stages. We have prayed really hard about this and we do not know what God has in store for us, but we are hearing a call to begin a plan, this plan, God's plan. How far will it go....we do not know. God will lead us. Without our faith in God we could not have made it through this first year. Is it any easier now? No, you just learn to cope. We also find that exerting our energy toward other children in need helps us to heal. We did not have any time to help Adam so, maybe we can help others.

We ask that if you are reading this to please pray for our mission. If you need someone to talk to, please email us. We want to be there for you. Together, and with God by our sides, we all can get through things like this. We do it "WITH HOPE". The hope that we will see our loved one's face again for eternity.

REFLECTION: Last year at this time. Adam had run the fever as I mentioned above. At 8:30 that morning I took him to the doctor. I told them I could not wait because he was sick and might throw up, which he did. We got in right away. The doctor checked him out head to toe. Felt his stomach area, head, looked at the eyes, mouth, throat, you name it. She said he had a virus, gave us Phenegran for the throwing up. Said if he wasn't better by Friday bring him back in for bloodwork. I said, should we run bloodwork today, she said no. If we run it today, his levels will be elevated due to the virus, throwing up, etc. and it might scare you, thinking he has leukemia. So, we got our medicine, went home. My mom was with him for a hour or so during the afternoon while I ran an errand and guess what conversation they had. The same one he and I had the day before about going to heaven and seeing Mrs. Schwettmann. (However, neither of us knew about the others story until we shared them about 3 weeks after his death). So, he was truly preparing us. The remainder of the day, he laid around. Sleepy, yes, because he was on Phenegran. Overall, nothing out of the ordinary.

Tuesday, January 13, 2004 11:47 PM CST

How do I feel? Tired. I went to bed around 4:00 a.m. this morning. Had several meetings at my son's school today and so I have been busy. My dear friend, Rhonda (also Adam's first teacher) spent part of the afternoon with Tim and I working on our ministry mission. We are meeting with the Missions Committee of our church tomorrow evening to present a ministry in Adam's memory. This ministry would reach out to families experiencing childhood cancer. We were not alone during our loss, and we do not want anyone else to be either. Rhonda came back over this evening as we talked, worked on the ministry, cried, and laughed together until late. Thank God for friends! God is leading us to comfort and help those who need it as we were comforted in our time of need.

Today this scripture aids me in acommplishing my task:
JOSHUA 1:9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.

REFLECTION: What was happening last year on this date. Well, Adam was home from school because he had run a low grade fever. However, all afternoon he was bouncing off the wall with his silly comments and happy-go-lucky personality. Around 4:00 p.m. we left for school to pick Andrew up from Bible Drill. As we were sitting in the car, he let out this scream. He said his stomach hurt and he was going to throw up everywhere. I unhooked his seatbelt and raced into the school bathroom. At this time the school director and his best friend's mom (also a teacher at the school) saw me running with him and followed me to the bathroom. Sure enough, he threw up a couple of times. We cleaned him up, picked up Andrew, and headed home. He looked extremely pale like one does after throwing up, but said he was ok and said he felt better.

I am going to stop at this point because the next things I am going to write are going to be very hard for me to write. They will take some concentration and right now I have none. The conversation that was carried on by my 4 yr. old son Adam, with his 11 yr. old brother, Andrew, and myself, will give you some insight into exactly how much my child loved "his Sweet Jesus". It will also let you see why we have to carry out this ministry, the task that we feel Adam started in his own small way.

Tuesday, January 13, 2004 1:55 AM CST

Notice the time of this journal. I am not able to sleep at all. Every time I go to lay down I hear my little precious Adam calling me to come. I get up and find myself trying to hear his voice so I can go to him. Guess what, I can't find him. It is as if it's driving me crazy. My insides feel like they want to jump out of my body. I find myself jumping, feeling very nervous, anxious. What is this? Such an uneasiness.

REFLECTION: Last year at this time, I was not peacfully sleeping either. Adam had been restless during the night. He had gotten up several times calling for me and as I went to check on him, he was running a low grade fever (99.8 or so). Nothing to be alarmed about. I would lay with him for a while, then he would come lay with us. He would get up and go to the bathroom. A restless night. What was all this? Was it an indication that something was not right? He wasn't sick, sick enough to be alarmed about. But, as I look back now, this was probably all the beginning of everything. Why didn't I become more concerned? Was it of concern? Who knows? Only Gods knows. It was all in his plan. What could I have done about it anyway. As God says in the Bible, I know the plans I have for you.........

Sunday, January 11, 2004 10:35 PM CST

You don't really want to know how I am doing today. TERRIBLE. First off, woke up for church, no way. A terrible sinus headache that felt like my brains were coming out. So, my family went and I stayed in the bed. Was it all sinus???? Some yes, but not all. I was just in one of those moods. Adam was on my mind all day.
ISAIAH 26:9 says: My soul yearns for you in the night; in the morning my spirit longs for you......... that's the way I feel today, a yearning. I finally crawled out of bed around 11:30 a.m. when my family returned from church. Did not accomplish much else today. Spent a lot of time thinking back to last year this time. Of course, spent a lot of time crying. I need to ask God right now to help me through the week. The week from "hell".

REFLECTION: Last year this time, I was in the bed also. One exception, my "little precious" Adam was beside me, under the covers. He had a low grade fever the night before and so we stayed home from church, just the two of us. Snuggling under the covers and spending some quality time. Dear God, thank you for that one-on-one quality time. I was not in your house of worhsip, but Lord you know the reason and that's all that matters. Little did I now that day that would be the last Sunday we spent together. Would I have done things differently? Probably not. We cuddled, loved, hugged, talked, and laughed. One thing in particular I remember about that day. When Adam finally realized it was Sunday morning and that dad and brother had gone to church without us, he was not a happy camper. He cried and cried because he was missing Sunday School and singing with Mr. Marty to "his sweet Jesus", as he said. I finally convinced him it was OK to miss because he had run a slight fever the night before. When they returned from church, it started all over again. He wanted to know why he had to miss. Imagine a 4 yr. old loving his church and God so much. That was my Adam. He was a true disciple of God.

Well, the rest of the day we just spent time at home. He was not sick at all the rest of the day. No more fever. Back to his silly self and looking forward to school the next morning. In fact, all his clothes were laid out, ready to go.

Saturday, January 10, 2004 9:12 PM CST

Well, today is going to be a hard day I know already. First off, I am by myself, lonely. Tim and Andrew went away for a hunting weekend together. They need the bonding time. So, I wake up by myself. Before it would have been Adam and I. No matter what I always had him. He was the "one constant" in my life. I could always depend on Adam to stay with mom. Of course, my main constant is always with me (God). So, this morning I prayed to God to guide me through the day. Help me make good choices, not feel lonely, and stay focused on him. Focused on Adam being happy in heaven with "his sweet Jesus", instead of lonliness. PSALM 23 "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want............ (I read this to conquer lonliness).

As the day progressed I decided to spend some time at the cemeteries. Yes, plural. My dad also died last year on May 11 (Mother's Day). So 2003 is one year I do want to forget. I went to his gravesite and worked up the soil and placed new flowers. His death I am able to rejoice freely because he was 80 yrs. old and suffered with cancer for 3 years. However, when Adam died, Dad gave up.

Next, I went to Adam's gravesite. I spent some quiet time praying. I placed a CD in the player and listened to the song "With Hope" by Stephen Curtis Chapman. If you have not heard it, you need to. God is it true and beautiful. I sat on his bench and just played it over and over as I cried and talked to him. Adam I miss you so.

REFLECTION: Today was hard as I mentioned above. Also, due to the fact that it is Tim's mother's birthday (Mamaw to Adam). Last year this time, Mamaw was here. She flew in from Mississippi a couple of days before and spent some quality time with Adam. He enjoyed it so. On Thursday, he went to his favorite store with me (Hearts Desire), and picked out a gift from him to Mamaw. He was so cute. There were these bracelets, silver and red, with hearts on them. He loved them. He placed at least 10 of them on the floor and studied them very hard, making sure to pick the perfect one. He was so proud. On the 10th (which was a Fri.) we went to The Woodlands to meet with Tim's brother, Paul, and his family. We all stayed at the Marriott in The Woodlands. A special treat for Mamaw. We took her to a special restaurant for dinner. Adam was so thrilled to be in the fancy hotel. He feel asleep during dinner (it lasted so long). On Saturday evening, he started running a low grade fever 99.9 so we returned to Brenham.

Last year we had a child so excited and this year, he's in heaven. I know he is excited and we are excited he is in his permanent home, but we are selfish and want him here in his earthly home. Adam, be happy with Jesus and papaw!

Tuesday, January 6, 2004 9:53 PM CST

Well, here we are into the new year. Today how do I feel....troubled and in sorrow. I should not feel this way, it is my husband's 45th birthday and I should be rejoicing for we are celebrating 45 years of his life here on earth. However, out celebration is not complete. We have a missing piece to the puzzle.

Around 11:30 a.m. this morning I became very disturbed, very sad, very angry. I immediately rushed to the cemetery to be at Adam's place of rest to find comfort. Why there, I don't know. He is not there as my son Andrew always reminds me. He says, "Mom, why do you go there to speak to Adam. He is not there. All you have to do to talk with him is just look up, and speak. He is everywhere in heaven with his sweet Jesus". Spoken from the mouth of a babe. How true. But, us adults have to be reminded of this. My son's strength and faith amazes me. So, I called two very dear friends, cried a little, and immediately began thinking how I needed to arrange for us to be together tonight to celebrate Tim's birthday. So, I did just that. Did it help? Temporarily. Then, I rushed to another dear friend's house, who happens to have also been Adam's teacher. Why did I go there? For comfort perhaps. She too had been having a difficult time. Together we talked, laughed, cried, and reflected on how wonderful Adam's heavenly life is. How we should be jealous because he is in his "heavenly Father's" arms, where we desire most to be. Wow! What a good feeling I had when we parted. Thank you dear friend.

Well, my mission did not end there. I in turn go to another friend's house. What for? Comfort? We too talked about Adam and how she was going to help organize something to celebrate his upcoming "angel wings anniversary date". Why am I doing this running from place-to-place today? I do not know. What am I expecting to find??? What I should have done is gotten on my knees and talked with God. My emergency phone number list says, WHEN IN SORROW, CALL JOHN 14. JOHN 14:1-4 says: "Do not let your hearts be troubled." Trust in God's trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going."

Why did I do all this running, crying, and rambling when I could have and should have called on God first and foremost?

REFLECTION: Why was this today such a hard day? Well, last year it was his first day back at school from the Christmas holidays. He was so excited about returning to school to see his friends, teachers, and talk about his God and his Bible he received for Christmas. Wow! How powerful for just a 4 yr. old. He would have also jumped out of bed running in his daddy's arms singing "Happy Birthday" at the top of his lungs. But, instead, we were missing that little high, pitched voice in the birthday melody. Well, it doesn't end there. The 11:30 a.m. meltdown was due to the fact that is when I would have picked him up from school. As I was driving along, it was suddenly very evident as to what time it was today. That is when it all broke loose. I sped to the cemetery just to be with him (so I thought). As I sat on the bench, I could see his smiling face hop into his booster seat of the suburban. Beaming with pride he said, "oh mom, today we got new colors, look mom, I get to bring my old ones home". How thrilled he was over those colors. The smallest things pleased him so. Somehow as I sat there on that bench I could see him showing me those colors. Those beautiful colors, the colors of the rainbow and his brillant smile. Soon the colors faded as the tears began to flow from my eyes. I could not see them anymore. I could not see him anymore. That is when I became angry. I wanted so much to see that beautiful face and couldn't. So, with this reflection of the past I began to run from place to place as if I would find him.

We did get together with our dear friends and celebrate Tim's birthday over dinner. We prayed together, ate together, laughed together, and yes cried together as we thought back at the missing piece to the puzzle. Thank you God for dear friends!

Sunday, January 4, 2004 9:36 PM CST

Well, this will be my very first time to actually write on my son's website. I am going to try to spend some time reflecting on last year and how I got through this nigtmare of losing my "little precious".

January 20th will be one year since my "little precious" earned his angel wings. It is hard to belive it has been 350 days since I held my baby in my arms. It makes me weak and sick when I think about the separation. However, I know it is only temporary. 2 CORINTHIANS 5:1 says:
"Now we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands." I stand by that Bible verse for I know I am only on this earth temporarily, so I must not become attached to earthly, material things. Heaven is my eternal home. That is where I will meet my "little precious" again. This time he will be teaching me everything he has learned since his early arrival.

First, let me start by saying there is no other way to survive the death of a child than with GOD by your side every step you take. You take it hour-by-hour, day-by-day, asking for GOD's guidance all the way. HE IS THE ONLY WAY TO SURVIVE LOSING A CHILD. No one can tell you how to act, what to do, or when to do what. You have to seek God and he will walk you through it, step-by-step.

Second, I am surviving because of my wonderful husband, Tim, and magnificent son, Andrew. I still have a job to do here on earth and that is to be a good wife and mother. They need me 100 percent of the time. I know my little Adam is taken care of by the ultimate best, so I can put that worry aside as far as that is concerned. But, I do have a son here who needs me very much. So, it is with the love and help of these two important people in my earthly home, that I survive.

REFLECTION: Now, I will briefly reflect on last year this time. All was well. We just finished celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ. Adam was so excited about Jesus. He also was excited about his gifts he received (especially his "pink doll stroller"...[I'll explain later], Karaoke machine, and his new big boy Bible). Adam was a very loving child. He loved his "sweet Jesus", as he would say. When he received his new Bible his comment was "Oh thank you so much for my new Bible. Now I can learn more about my God". What 4 yr. old gets excited about a Bible. My Adam. So, we moved on through the holiday. New Year approached. All was well. We were all excited about the fun, new adventures we would explore in this upcoming new year. Adam, well he was still excited about two things. First, learning about "his God" and second, "turning big 5".

Tuesday, July 29, 2003 7:07 PM CDT

Here are a few pictures from Adam's 5th birthday celebration which was held at the cemetery April 8, 2003. Jill King sang the beautiful song she wrote in Adams memory, "You Didn't Know," and then we all joined together to sing several of Adams favorite songs.

Happy Birthday and Bob the Builder balloons that had been handed out to all in attendance were then released. It was a beautiful and moving celebration of Adam's life. He will always be greatly missed.

Jill Louise King is a very dear friend to the Culliver Family. She heard Adam was so ill so she began writing a song for him. On Monday, January 20, 2003 she arrived at the Texas Chilren's Hospital a few minutes to late. Adam decided his work on earth was done and he was ready to move on to do bigger and better things with his heavenly Father. Well, the song meant so much to us that we asked Jill to sing it at Adam's Funeral. She did. Wow, beautiful. What poweful words. Since then Jill has gone to a recording studio and produced a single CD of the song. Here are the words.....you too will see how powerful they are.

We, The Culliver Family and Jill Louise King will be making copies of this song available for purchase. Jill has decided she would like all proceeds to go toward whatever organization the family will be starting to help fight childhood cancer.

YOU DIDN'T KNOW

You didn't know you would be God's light
You didn't know you'd show us the power of prayer
A school, a town, a church,a teacher, a grieving family
No, you didn't know

You didn't know that lives would never be the same
You didn't know that you would lead the way
A mother's kiss would be longer, a father's touch more tender
No, you didn't know

But you did know Jesus
Why he shed his blood
And you knew his love for you
The most important thing, you really knew

You didn't know life on earth would be so short
You didn't know you'd bring others to Christ
Just a boy of four, doing God's work
No, you didn't know
You were God's light
No, Adam, you didn't know

Jill Louise King(c)2003 WylieWylie Music

Adam Christian Culliver
Born: April 8, 1998
11:11 a.m.
6 lbs. 6 oz.

(Check out photo album and journal for more pictures)

Memorials to Adam may be given to First Baptist Church School Scholarship Fund at 302 Pahl Street, Brenham, Texas 77833.

Please sign the guestbook if you would like to share your love and prayers with the Culliver family.

If you have a photo you would like to send to be viewed in the photo album please send it in JPEG form to Kehako@aol.com. I will add it immediately. Actual photos may be turned in to First Baptist Church School Office, in an envelope marked “For Webpage” please include information about when picture taken. Thank you.

Adam in the leaves - "Won't my mommy be so proud of me...I'm spreading out her pile of leaves."

December 1999 - "I might of had a hard day at work but I can still laugh about it.

September 2002 - "Just me and my John Deere Gator"

Adam in the leaves - "Won't my mommy be so proud of me...I'm spreading out her pile of leaves."

Adam in the plane - "Off we go into the wild, blue yonder."

Keep checking back for updates to this page.

Thank you for your continued love and prayers!

Please sign the guestbook and share your love and prayers with the family.

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