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Tuesday, December 17, 2013 5:24 PM CST
It has been 8 years since Micah has gone to be with the Lord. I still miss him more than words can tell. Here is a video that seems to be made for him and all the other children who died. I pray it will bless you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8VBF-1kVGTM&feature=share
Wednesday, January 9, 2013 11:46 AM CST
It is amazing how time goes by so fast. It was 7 years ago December 17, 2012 that Micah died. I can hardly believe it. Some days it seems like it was yesterday. I am still missing Micah and I know I always will. Here is a poem I wrote shortly after he died. I had always wanted to rewrite it and edit it but now I just don’t have it in me to do that. So here it, still needing to be tweaked!
Monday, January 2, 2006
MISSING MICAH, written by Laura Leake
You know him by his face.
Bright clear blue eyes
Curly soft brown hair, with a spot of grey on his left side
Smiling, always, even when in pain
Making silly faces and joking
I miss his face
I wish I could touch his face,
Kiss his cheek or forehead
Rake my hands through his curly locks, comb his hair gently back.
Talking kindly or being funny
Making some kind of joke
I miss his voice, his laugh and his singing.
Sometimes his singing to the Lord sounded like real “crying out” to God.
His saying ,” Hi, Lydia!” every time he saw her and smiling at her no matter how bad he felt.
His face scrunched up, eyes closed tight when getting a lumbar puncture or bone marrow aspirate, but not complaining.
I miss his hands, gentle, soft, fluent.
They spoke of grace and mercy as they flowed over his guitar strings and moved so eloquently, picking songs and worshipping on his Taylor guitar or his mandolin.
Playing piano, the few songs he knew, like Pachelbel’s Canon in D, so smooth and sweet.
His hands strong and serving, quick to lend a helping hand
Getting the stroller out putting it in the trunk, even after TB irradiation, and chemotherapy and transfusions
Putting Lydia in the car
Lifting bags and back packs
Driving the truck to bring the garbage to the road, shifting gears with a big smile on his face,
often reaching over to steer the car while I drove.
Hands making interesting concoction for dinner, knowing quickly the right combination of spices, doing it even after a long day at the clinic
Hands trimming bushes, working hard
Hands playing cards and monopoly and other games
Hands gently soothing and comforting as he holds Lydia and comforts her and smiles
at her to make her happy
Those hands I held as I prayed for him as he took his last breath
Those hands I massaged and stroked when they hurt and weren’t working properly
Those hands too weak and uncoordinated to hold a pill
I would pick up and wrap his arm and hands around Lydia so he could hold her
Those hands holding his Bible, turning pages, treasuring God’s Word
I miss those hands, never to touch again
I miss his feet.
Walking, walking, walking, more than a marathon after his transplant
Blistered feet from walking so much
Those feet, walking with a purpose to a destination, sometimes known only to him,
Duke Gardens, Duke Chapel, Dick Orcutt’s grandmother’s house,
The Presbyterian Church blocks away from the hospital.
Walking adventures on the roof, unto the parking garage at Baptist Hospital.
Those legs unable to walk or run or play after breaking his leg or toe or getting blisters.
Yet, content and resolved to make the most of whatever the situation
Those legs and that body peddling hard on his mountain bike on all sorts of adventures many times with his camera ready for a great picture of a beautiful broad magnificent landscape or the detailed delicate peddles of a flower
He loved and appreciated God’s wonderful creation
I miss his feet
I miss massaging his feet especially towards the last month of his life when they would swell from fluid built up in his body
The messaging helped reduce the edema, but I couldn’t stop holding and rubbing those feet even when they weren’t swollen anymore
Like Jesus washing the disciples feet
I loved his feet. I miss the feel of those worn feet that used to run and play and climb trees.
That used to jump on trampolines, and the ground, and beds,
Jumping up and down, jumping up and down jumping up and down
Those feet that almost always were sticking out of his sheets when he slept
Those feet propped up on the ottoman or draped over the arm of the love seat as he rested
I miss those feet
I miss Micah,
His feet
His legs
His arms
His hands
His face
His hair
His smell
His eyes
His mind
His heart, full of love for God and people
Full of laughter, joy, and sorrow, suffering, worshipping
His mouth confessing his love for our Lord Jesus Christ through music and words
I miss Micah
He’ll always remain in my heart
And one day
I will see him again
But now
I just miss him
All of him
I miss his face, funny, laughing, joking, making faces,
Yet sometimes so serious
Worshipping God, looking up to Jesus
Down on his knees, crying out to Jesus for His mercy and healing and help
Emotional as he talks of how good God is and how thankful he is for Lydia who he said is always happy and brings joy wherever she goes.
Emotional, tears as he speaks of his love for us in his last days
And for his love for God and confession that God is so good, He has been so good to him and is good and so close to him even now in his suffering
Quick to stand up for someone younger, to defend the weak
A peacemaker- who now sees God
Smiling in admiration at the determination of the younger transplant children
Hands and heart pouring forth words in pink pen on a spiral notebook paper, full of love for God and appreciation and love for people
Joy in the midst of suffering
The joy of the Lord is my strength
Hands typing away on his xanga website, recounting funny stories and situations,
making jokes about his suffering, writing songs, original and others that touched his heart,
Stories deeper than what appears on the outside
Showing a heart full of love and compassion, kindness, joy, and desire to be in heaven with the Lord
Now Micah is with the Lord
He is no longer in pain or suffering,
He is full of joy in the presence of our Lord,
But,
Part of my heart is with him
I miss Micah
I always will
Micah’s Mom
Tuesday, February 16, 2010 12:23 AM CST
December 17, 2009 was 4 years since when Micah went home to be forever with his wonderful Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. December 22nd was his birthday and he would have been 20 years old. It is hard to believe.
Remembering Micah.
Drawing near to God.
This is what we had as the title on the bulletin for Micah’s memorial service. It is still true today. We are still missing Micah and still drawing near to God. We read one of Micah’s favorite scriptures, Isaiah 61, the morning of the 17th in our family devotions. It gives us such hope in rejoicing in our Savior. Without Jesus, we would have no hope. But God our heavenly Father loved us so much that He sent His one and only Son, Jesus Christ, to come as a baby to live a perfect sinless life, to die on the cross for our sins and to be raised to life on the third day, conquering sin and death. Jesus gives eternal life to all who believe. If Jesus had not been born and had not lived a perfect life and had not died for our sins and had not risen from the dead, we would have no hope. If Micah had lived a full life of 80 years, that would have been all we would have had. But because of Jesus, we had almost 16 years with Micah here on earth, but we will have eternity with the Lord and with our sweet Micah! We have hope.
Christmas time is a hard time of year for us and for so many people who have lost loved ones or who are going through a trial right now. For some reason this year was especially difficult for me. Many times I was overcome with sorrow and sadness in missing Micah. In our culture many people do not understand grief and sorrow. Most likely it is because they don’t want to think about death and dying. I am so thankful that I serve a loving and compassionate God who cares and who grieves with me and who comforts me. He is a God of all comfort and He bears all my grief and all my sorrow. Jesus wept. He understands. Father God gave His only son to die for our sins. He knows the loss of His son. Jesus was forsaken by His Father. He knows grief and sorrow.
When you go through suffering your faith is tried. It is good to know that Jesus Himself is praying for us that our faith would not fail.
Luke 22:32 But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you have returned to Me, strengthen your brethren." NKJV
No matter how difficult our trials are, God is faithful and He loves us. We can trust in Him. We have no where else to turn. He is our only help in times of trouble. So keep clinging to Jesus. He is the one you should go to for help. When Micah died, we were broken inside more than words can tell, but we have found through the years that God is enough.
John 6:68 But Simon Peter answered Him, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life . 69 Also we have come to believe and know that You are the Christ, the Son of the living God." NKJV
Another of my favorite scriptures that encourages me in difficult times is Habakkuk 3:17-19.
17 Though the fig tree may not blossom,
Nor fruit be on the vines;
Though the labor of the olive may fail,
And the fields yield no food;
Though the flock may be cut off from the fold,
And there be no herd in the stalls —
18 Yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
I will joy in the God of my salvation.
19 The Lord God is my strength;
He will make my feet like deer's feet,
And He will make me walk on my high hills.
To the Chief Musician. With my stringed instruments.
NKJV
When all is failing and falling apart in our life, God is still good and we can still praise Him and joy in Him. He is our strength and He will enable us to walk through whatever He calls us to.
Blessings to you this year.
Laura
Tuesday, January 6, 2009 3:20 PM CST
I just put some new pictures in the photo album. They are pictures of three things that I think of when I think of Micah. I think about how he loved to serve and one of the places he served was Samaritan's Purse. I also think about how much he loved to worship the Lord on his guitar and also mandoline. Lastly he loved his family and Lydia was a special blessing to him his last year of life. I have so many wonderful memories of Micah and I am so thankful to the Lord for blessing me with those memories. I also wanted to post the song that Micah wrote and we had playing at the memorial service. Blessings to you. Laura
DEEP INSIDE
You already know what you've meant to me
You know more then I of my thoughts of you
But let me try now to express my love
To pour out my heart with the limit of words
The comfort you've given is beyond my song
And tell of your mercy its worthless to try
To express how you've loved me I'd run out of time
If there's words that can tell you they're above my mind
So I'll love You from deep inside
The most precious of thoughts in my heart will hide
So whenever you look at my heart
You'll see a fullness of love that won't depart
What can i say of the peace that crushed doubt
And the grace i've recieved is past finding out
Since when You called me to enter your rest
My heart has to speak cause my mouth can't express
You're a mystery to me that I cannot solve
An unsearchable tower that will never fall
The highest below and the lowest above
Will never attain the knowledge of your love
-Micah Leake
Friday, December 26, 2008 9:02 AM CST
Merry Christmas to all of you,
We were so thankful to have all of our children home for Christmas this year except for Micah who is safely in the arms of Jesus! We still miss Micah very much and think about him every day!
December 17th marked three years since Micah went to be with the Lord. It is hard to believe he has been gone that long and yet in many ways it seems like yesterday. On the anniversary of his death we watched the DVD of the memorial service. It was a blessing to hear the songs, the words of encouragememnt and the memories that people shared. It was also great to see all the people that were caught by the camera! Many of whom I didn't know were there, partly because of the daze I was in and partly because there were so many people there I did not see everyone. We were so thankful and encouraged by all who came. God has been good to us and continues to strengthen and heal us and draw us closer to the Lord. We had titled our service for Micah, Remembering Micah, Drawing Near to God. We are still remembering him and are still drawing near to God. His life was such an example to me of drawing near to God that I still am learning from him.
Children are such a blessing from the Lord and a gift from Him. I am sure those of us who have watched our children suffer and many of us who watched our children die, know how short this life is and want to redeem the time with our living children and family and friends. I pray you all had a good Christmas and were able to rejoice in the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, who came as a baby and lived a perfect sinless life, and suffered and died to redeem us for Himself. Have a wonderful New Year. I pray God's richest blessing on you and your family.
Love in Christ,
Laura and Mark Leake
Friday, September 19, 2008 8:21 AM CDT
The Lord is working contentment in me. It will most likely take the rest of my life. I know that I need to trust God every day for the things He does not give or the things He takes away. The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. I need to be content with what I have now. I praise the Lord for the almost 16 years that the Lord gave us Micah here on earth. I also praise Him for dying on the cross for our sins and giving us eternal life. Because of His mercy in giving His only son to die for us, I can look forward to seeing Micah again in heaven. I can also trust Him to give me all the grace I need to live here without Micah. This morning I read a devotional by R.C.Sproul that was very good. May it encourage you as well.
BE CONTENT
Heb 13:5-6
5 Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." 6 So we may boldly say:
"The Lord is my helper;
I will not fear.
What can man do to me?"
NKJV
Over the centuries, Christian theologians have recognized that although the law is laid out in great detail throughout the Pentateuch, we actually find a summary of it in the Ten Commandments. These ten laws offer some practical ways in which we can concretely express the gratitude we have for our salvation.
When we look at these commandments we might be tempted to think that they are all radically different from each other. However, this is not the case. Many theologians have noted that one of these forbidden sins is actually the root of many evils. This forbidden sin is covetousness(Ex.20:17).
John Owen has said that “covetousness is an inordinate desire to enjoy more money than we have, or than God is pleased to give us.” This comment was made in response to today’s passage from the book of Hebrews and is absolutely true. Before we address Hebrews 13:5-6, we will note that covetousness does have a broader application in that it includes inordinate desires for anything that we do not have (Ex. 20:17).
It is easy to see how this sin leads to all others. Ungodly desires for people other than one’s own spouse lead to adultery. Coveting another’s wealth leads to theft. Inordinately desiring power and prestige can lead to lies, murder, idolatry, and other forms of sin.
A warning against covetousness is one of the points that we should understand from today’s passage. We are told to be content with what we have and to be free from the love of money. Money itself is not bad; rather, the inordinate desire to have more than God has given us is what leads us into all kinds of wickedness(see 1 Timothy 6:10).
If we are not careful, covetousness can become one of those things that cause us to stumble and to be disqualified from the race of faith. However, God in His mercy has given us this warning to cultivate the perseverance of the saints. The solution is, as the rest of the passage says, to be content with what we have. For the great salvation that has been granted to us is the only thing that we will ever need. Moreover, we are also reminded that God will never leave us, and thus we should not fear since the Lord is our helper. As John Calvin said, “As long as we have such a helper there is no cause to fear.”
CORAM DEO
Are you content with what you have? Or is there something that is not yours that you covet? In prayer, ask the Lord to reveal those things that you covet. Take some steps to avoid this sin-such as finding accountability, avoiding certain tempting situations, and giving up those things that you have acquired by way of coveting.
Dan 7-8, 1 John 5, For further study: Deut. 5:21, Prov. 12:12, Luke 12:15, 1 Tim. 6:6-10.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008 10:03 AM CDT
August 6, 2008
It has been a long time since I updated. We are all doing well. We really miss Micah so much and think about him all the time. We miss his presence in our home. I love to hear the things the children tell me about him that they remember. It is especially fun to hear things that I never knew! I recently was looking through his baby book and some of my other children’s baby books. It is amazing to see how much of their personality was evident in them as babies. Micah was a real ham even as a little baby. He used to make really, funny faces and fake a pout. When you laughed, he would do it again, again and again! As you can see from the picture of Micah and Lydia, he enjoyed making faces at her when she was a baby. He would imitate her funny faces. He laughed so hard thinking about the funny faces babies make and how funny it would be to make those faces to each other, which of course he did to us!
This May, Micah would have graduated from High School and most likely would be preparing to go off to college this year. That is hard to believe. It is very difficult to let our children go. I am constantly reminded that our children are really only lent to us from the Lord for a little while. Some of our children, like Micah, are lent to us, for a relatively short time here on earth. We think that when we have children that they will always be in our lives. However, God’s ways are not our ways and His plans are not our plans. We must accept His plan as wise and good for us. Sin, death, sickness and all evil came into the world through Satan and our own sinful nature. God is not the author of evil, but we do have to trust Him that He knows what is best for us. We do not understand so many things. Life often does not go the way we hope it will. Nevertheless, I will continue to trust in the God of the Bible and I know He is always good, always true, faithful, loving, kind and patient. He is all-powerful, all- knowing, ever- present. He is our hope and our refuge. God is an awesome God. His love and His grace are amazing. I could not go on without His wonderful grace and love towards me. I praise God for sending His son Jesus to die on the cross and redeem me from sin and death. As hard as life may be, when we really think about God’s wonderful mercy on us, in sending us His son Jesus, we realize things are much better than we deserve. So, to answer your question, “How are you doing?” I must say, as C.J. Mahaney says, We are doing much better than we deserve!
Looking forward to the day, I will enter into infinite joy in God’s presence.
Laura
Wednesday, December 26, 2007 11:47 AM CST
I hope you all had a blessed Christmas. I put some funny pictures of Micah in the photo album. Check them out. Last Monday December 17th was two years since Micah died and went into the arms of Jesus. We celebrated his life on December 22nd which would have been his 18th birthday.(and is Lydia's 3rd birthday) We sent up balloons with messages on them and prayed together in Micah’s garden. It was really fun and a special time for our family. At this time of year I am flooded with many memories. God continues to use His word to comfort me. He also sends people, books, and things to bring comfort. Recently I read about accepting the pain of your child’s death. When a child dies, the pain does not go away. This has been true for me and true for many people I have met that have lost a child. It is not a matter of accepting that the child died. I know that Micah is with the Lord and that I will see him again but not in this world. It is a matter of accepting the pain that I have to live with now and to rejoice in my suffering. This thinking has helped me to press on. I cannot make the pain go away but I can accept the pain and learn by God’s grace to have joy in the Lord even with the pain. For example, although Joni Erickson Tada was never healed from her paralysis, she learned to live for the glory of God even in a paralyzed body. In a sense, I have to learn to live for the glory of God with a paralyzed and hurting heart. I must accept the pain and press on for the glory of God.
Phil 3:12
Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me.
I must admit that some days I feel the grace of God working in my heart in a greater measure than other times. Sometimes I have to really fight for joy, but God gives grace for those times. Praise God that He is faithful no matter how I feel.
Shortly before Micah died he told me that he thought that just as Paul asked God three time to heal him and God replied that His grace was sufficient for him, that God was speaking that to him as well.
2 Cor 12:8-10
8 Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. 9 And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Since Micah died this scripture has meant so much to me. Many times I go back and meditate on this. God’s grace is sufficient for me to live without my sweet Micah. This time of year is especially hard, and I feel especially weak, yet “I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” Phil 3:14
May the Lord, Jesus Christ, bless and comfort you today.
Laura
Wednesday, October 24, 2007 9:08 AM CDT
11-14-07
Dear Friends,
Thank you so much for your prayers for my friends 16 year old daughter, Sherilyn, who has been fighting leukemia for 4 1/2 years.
http://www.caringbridge.org/nc/sherilyn/
This morning at 2:11am she went home to be with Jesus. She died at home peacefully in her sleep with a smile on her face. I know she was rejoicing to be in the presence of her Lord and Savior Jesus Christ! Please pray for comfort,strength and grace for her mother, Laura Adams, her sisters, Veronica and Nicollette, her brother Dustin and father, Tony as well as all those who loved her, which are many.
Thank you for your faithfulness and love for this family.
Love, Laura Leake
Ps 23:4
4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
Are you walking in the in a valley of death? Are you weary and tired and downcast? Maybe you are facing death literally of your earthly body, or death of a loved one. Maybe you are facing the death of hopes and dreams and ambitions. Maybe you are facing the death of your desires and you don’t want to give up what God is asking you to give up. Do you need help and strength? Do you feel like you are all alone? Remember that God is with you in the valley. It is a good place to be. Do you know how deep the Father’s love is for you? It is so much deeper than any valley you are in. He is with you and He is helping you. Look to Jesus in your valley. Let go of the things of this world. Let go of your body, your friends and loved ones, your hopes, dreams treasures of this world, and pleasures of this world. Let go of these things and grab hold of Jesus. He is with you and He will bring you out of the valley of the shadow of death and into life. There is joy in Jesus in the valley! He is your helper, your strength, your refuge, your grace, your guide, your counselor, your healer, your deliverer, your peace, your hope, your shepherd, your redeemer, your life! Go to God and be filled with His love, grace and mercy. Let God be your all in all! Let Him be your All Sufficient one. God is enough. He brought you to the valley and He will bring you joy in the valley as you put your eyes on Him and let Jesus embrace you. As the old hymn says, turn your eyes upon Jesus and look full in His wonderful face and the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace. He brought you there and He will give you a heavenly vision. Jesus will give you light in your darkness, life in your death, joy in your sorrow, grace in your sin, riches in your poverty, and glory in your valley.
Here is a prayer from the book, The Valley of Vision A Collection of Puritan Prayers & Devotions
THE VALLEY OF VISION
Lord, High and Holy, Meek and Lowly,
Thou hast brought me to the valley of vision,
where I live in the depths but see thee in the heights;
hemmed in by mountains of sin I behold thy glory.
Let me learn by paradox
that the way down is the way up.
that to be low is to be high,
that the broken heart is the healed,
that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit,
that the repenting soul is the victorious soul,
that to have nothing is to possess all,
that to bear the cross is to wear the crown,
that to give is to receive,
that the valley is the place of vision.
Lord, in the daytime stars can be seen from deepest wells,
and the deeper the wells the brighter thy stars shine,
Let me find thy light in my darkness,
thy life in my death,
thy joy in my sorrow,
thy grace in my sin,
thy riches in my poverty,
thy glory in my valley.
Blessings to you, Laura
Tuesday, September 11, 2007 8:17 AM CDT
Please remember and pray for the families who lost loved ones 6 years ago when our country was attacked.
I thought I would update and let you all know how our family is doing. Someone recently asked me how I "got over it?" Anyone who has ever lost a child will tell you, that you never "get over it." However, anyone who is in Christ will also tell you, that God's grace is sufficient. I have Him to go to and to comfort me. Some days are still hard for me. Many times, I do not even know what will trigger the heartache, grief, and pain of missing Micah. I do miss him so very much! I also look forward to seeing him again in heaven. Right now Micah is just in another place. He is in the best place of all, heaven, with the best person of all, Jesus Christ! Because I have put my trust and faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, the joy of knowing Jesus and knowing that He created me to live forever with Him is the hope that I have that keeps me going. God created me for the person, Jesus Christ, and for the place, heaven! I have been blessed and encouraged with Randy Alcorn's books, that teach us that we need to live in light of eternity and that we are to store up treasures in heaven not on this earth. Here is an excerpt from Randy Alcorn’s book, In Light of Eternity.
“ I’ve always appreciated this depiction of death, often attributed to nineteenth-century clergyman Henry Van Dyke:
‘ I’m standing on the seashore. A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She’s an object of beauty and strength, she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and the sky come down to mingle with each other. And then I hear someone at my side saying, “There, she’s gone.”
Gone where? Gone from my sight, that is all. She is just as large in the mast and hull and spar as she was when she left my side. And just as able to bear her load of living freight to the place of destination. Her diminished size is in me, not in her.
And just at the moment when someone at my side say’s, “There, she is gone” there are other eyes watching her coming, and there are other voices ready to take up the glad shout, “Here she comes!” ‘
And that, for the Christian, is dying.
What will happen as we set foot on heaven’s shores, greeted by our loved ones? I envision it as C. S. Lewis did in the Last Battle: “The further up and the further in you go, the bigger everything gets. The inside is larger than the outside.”
The moment we die the meager flame of this life will appear, to those we leave behind, to be snuffed out. But at that same moment on the other side, it will rage to sudden and eternal intensity_ an intensity that will never dim, only grow.
On his deathbed D.L.Moody said,” Soon you will read in the newspaper that I am dead. Don’t believe it for a moment. I will be more alive than ever before.”
I know that Micah is more alive than ever before. He has shed this body of sin and sickness and he is free and happy in Jesus! I look forward to seeing him in heaven when the Lord calls me home!
I have updated our photo album with a collage that my son Gabriel made!
Please continue to pray for Sherilyn(http://www.caringbridge.org/nc/sherilyn/) as she continues to fight leukemia. She needs a miracle. Pray for strength and grace for her and for her mother and family.
Here is a link to a good article on suffering. http://www.modernreformation.org/default.php?page=blog_view&var1=ViewInd&var2=2&var3=183&var4=main&var5=Home
God bless you all.
Love, Laura
Sunday, June 10, 2007 7:01 PM CDT
I hope you are all doing well. I have been blessed recently with reminders that the Lord has sent my way, that God was and is glorified by the suffering that Micah went through. I know that God used it to draw people closer to Himself. I was thinking about how, not only was God glorified by Micah's and our family's life, and Micah glorified God in his death, but God was also glorified in the ways that the body of Christ served. God was glorified in your prayers, fasting, meals, visiting, worshipping with Micah, caring for Micah, caring for my children, cleaning my house, all the details of the memorial service, etc, etc. God was glorified in your life as you obeyed Him and gave whatever He asked you to bless and help us. That is encouraging to me. May God be glorified! I updated the photo album with a few pictures.
Love, Laura
Monday, April 16, 2007 9:47 AM CDT
Here is a letter of thanks I would love to send out to everyone, but was not able to. Love, Laura
4-6-07
Dear Family and Friends,
Happy Resurrection Day!
Matt 28:5-7
5 But the angel answered and said to the women, "Do not be afraid, for I know that you seek Jesus who was crucified. 6 He is not here; for He is risen, as He said. Come, see the place where the Lord lay.
We praise God that Jesus is no longer dead, but He is risen as He said He would be. Because He lives, we also will live when we put our faith in Jesus. Because Jesus lives, we know Micah lives and we have the assurance that we will see him again!
It is hard to believe it has been a year and a quarter since Micah went home to be with his Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. I hope you are doing well and that you are aware of God’s blessing in your life. Ever since Micah died, I have wanted to write and thank you all for your love and kindness towards us during the 4-year long journey of Micah having leukemia and for your continued love and support after his death. I also want to testify of God’s faithfulness to us throughout this journey and as we continue to miss Micah’s presence here with us on earth.
God has been so good to us to surround us with many, kind and caring friends, family members, church members, as well as so many other wonderful people we met along the way. Thank you to all who were able to come to the memorial service for Micah on December 22, 2005. It was such an honor to have you there to remember Micah and celebrate his life. Thank you also to those who came to the open house as we remembered Micah on the first year anniversary of his going home to be with the Lord.
It seems the longer it has been since Micah died, the harder it gets because reality is sinking in, yet our family is doing well. It has been a very difficult year, but we are seeing the grace of God abound more in our lives. We are still missing Micah so much and feel an empty place in our hearts that will always be missing. We love to talk about Micah and remember things about him. Although knowing we will be together for all eternity, we do not have an ongoing relationship with Micah as we do with our other children and with you all. Therefore, memories are so special and are all we have to connect with Micah now. Talking about Micah helps us much more than you realize!
Many of you have asked about Lydia. She and Micah were very close. Micah expressed his love for Lydia on Thanksgiving Day the year he died, by saying he was so thankful for Lydia because she was so happy and she brought joy wherever she went. Even now one of her favorite words is happy. Lydia is truly a gift from the Lord, as are all of our children. God used her to be a comfort to Micah and all of us. Shortly after Micah died, Lydia was upset and I asked her if she missed Micah, then she got happy and laughed and pointed to the collage of pictures of Micah we have on the wall. She waved and said, “Hi!” just like she used to do when he was alive. Lydia enjoys making funny faces, like Micah did from the time he was a baby. Lydia continues to bring joy to everyone, just like Micah said. Recently she was looking at a picture of Micah and she said, “ Micah loved me.” We will keep the memory of Micah in her heart by continuing to speak of him to her and regularly show her pictures of him.
Micah’s death has been a hard thing to grasp and accept for the children and Mark and I, but we know that God is Sovereign and that He is just, loving, kind and good all the time. We just do not understand all His ways because they are higher than our’s. As a line in one of Micah’s song says about the Lord, “You're a mystery to me that I cannot solve, An unsearchable tower that will never fall.” We are so glad that although we sorrow, we do not sorrow as those who have no hope. Our hope is that we will one day be home in heaven with Micah and the Lord for all eternity. As C.S. Lewis said, this is just the shadowlands, and heaven is our real home. We hope that you too will be there with us, and that we will not have to spend eternity without you!
Heb 11:13 These all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off were assured of them, embraced them and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth. 14 For those who say such things declare plainly that they seek a homeland. 15 And truly if they had called to mind that country from which they had come out, they would have had opportunity to return. 16 But now they desire a better, that is, a heavenly country. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for He has prepared a city for them.
The love of God has been poured out upon us in so many different ways. God put us in a wonderful church full of servants and prayer warriors. He brought many friends and family into our lives who care and who helped us, prayed for us and fasted for us persistently throughout the 4 years Micah was sick and especially since Micah relapsed in Sept. 2004. We are blessed and honored to have so many loving people in our lives. Thank you for all your cards, letters, scriptures, prayers, poems, songs, memories, gifts etc. Thank you for loving my children as if they were a part of your family. Thank you for all the meals, for cleaning my house, and blessing us in so many practical ways. As I sit here and try to think of the many ways we were ministered to I am so amazed. I could write on and on. Please know that each and every thing, whether big or small, visible or invisible has blessed us tremendously. We will always treasure the beautifully made quilts, Afghans, sheet, book full of messages of love, the memory books and the thoughtful and encouraging cards sent to Micah and to us. Micah kept every one and we will treasure those as well. Thank you to all who gave financially. God provided for all our needs throughout this whole time, even when Mark was out of work which increased our faith and confidence in God’s provision. Thank you also for all the memorial gifts to charitable organizations. We greatly appreciate them. We treasure all the messages people wrote on our Caringbridge site. http://www.caringbridge.org/nc/micah78/ We still look forward to checking it everyday and draw comfort from the messages. As the Lord leads, we will continue to write how the Lord pours out His mercy and blessings on us along this journey, in hopes that we may be a strength and help to others going through similar trials.
God showed His mercy and love for us in directing us to the wonderful hospitals and giving us such caring staff at Wesley Long and Cone Hospitals, where Micah was originally admitted; Chatham Hospital, where he had a lot of blood work done; Duke Hospital, where Micah had his bone marrow transplant and Baptist Hospital where Micah was originally diagnosed, had most of his treatment, and where he breathed his last breath. We thank each one of you, from the doctors and nurses, NA’s, lab tech’s, social workers, family support workers, janitorial service, and the food service, volunteers, etc. You cared for Micah as if he were your own son, or brother. We know you did your very best and gave Micah the best treatment you could offer. Micah felt the love, compassion and concern you had for him, which prompted him to write songs expressing his thanks. We are so appreciative for the way you showed so much love and compassion to all of our children. Micah’s siblings, especially the younger ones, always enjoyed coming to the clinic with Micah. They loved doing crafts with Anna, Emily and Mary Margaret with Arts for Life. They also loved just hanging out and watching the procedures. We are grateful to all of you for taking care of Lydia, carrying her around, holding her, and playing with her. She has such a love for people now and I believe she always will because of the love people have shown her. We are so blessed to have met you all and to have you in our lives during a very difficult time. You have touched our lives with your love and kindness in more ways than you know. Our hearts are full of thanksgiving. As you did these things for us, you were doing them unto the Lord.
Matt 25:40
40 And the King will answer and say to them, 'Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.'
The four years of medical treatment, and the prayers and fasting for Micah were not in vain, even though Micah was not healed here on earth. I can imagine it was very hard to tell Micah and us each time he relapsed. When there was nothing left you could do to help him, you continued to be so helpful answering our many questions, listening to us, and being patient with us. You cared for Micah tenderly during those last couple of months before he died. Although we would not have chosen this, God used this suffering for good. We were blessed with four more special years with Micah that we would not have had if it were not for the medical treatments and the prayers, which held us all up, and got him through some very tough things. God answered so many specific prayers along the way, and extended Micah’s life. We are so thankful for the gift of the times Micah was in remission, the good months, days and even hours and minutes that he felt good. I would much rather have had almost 16 years with Micah, then to never have had him at all. Going through this with Micah was very hard but we got to know him in a way that we wouldn’t have otherwise. God used the suffering in us and in Micah to mold us more into the image of Christ. Micah learned to trust God in a way that many people do not. Micah learned to love God and trust Him for grace to go through difficult things and to continue to praise and worship God even though he was not healed on this earth. His example was and still is an inspiration and example to us all. We experienced the love and support from so many people that showed us how great and awesome our God is and how much He loves us.
Micah knew he would be completely healed in heaven and that he would go to live forever with the Lord. He had put his confidence, trust and faith in Jesus, who took the punishment for our sins on Himself so we could have eternal life. This was Micah’s hope and the joy set before him to endure the suffering. We don’t understand the things we have to suffer, but we know we live in a world that is fallen from the glory of God. We know that it is because of sin, that there is suffering in this world. We also know that there is hope and eternal life because God gave His only son Jesus, so that those who place their trust in Him can have His righteousness and eternal life. That is why our suffering is not without hope.
We love you all and are forever grateful for the part you have played in our lives and the way you touched Micah’s life. We will never forget the many ways you showed your love and kindness to us.
2 Cor 9:10 Now may He who supplies seed to the sower, and bread for food, supply and multiply the seed you have sown and increase the fruits of your righteousness, 11 while you are enriched in everything for all liberality, which causes thanksgiving through us to God.
Love,
Laura and Mark Leake and family
Saturday, March 17, 2007 9:29 PM CDT
March 17, 2007
It has been a year and a quarter since Micah died. I am still missing him so much. I often have lump in my throat that never goes away. It is not that I never laugh, smile, or am happy, but there is the pain and grief of losing Micah that underlies everything.
The Lord often uses Lydia or one of my other children to bless me. Last night I was home alone with Lydia and she was being so sweet and loving. I was filled with thankfulness to the Lord for His love and mercy in giving me Lydia for such a time as this. I said to Lydia, “Why did God bless me with such a sweet girl like you? I didn’t deserve it, but He is so good and I am thankful for you.” She replied with a smile and said, “Jesus loves me.” Then she pointed up to the ceiling and said,” Micah is in heaven with Jesus.” That really blessed me.
One thing that has helped me so much in so many areas on my life, is to think in light of eternity. For example, think about a big dot, which represents our life and then, think about a line that goes on forever, which represents our life in eternity. Where on that big dot are you? Where am I? Where is Lydia? Where is my ninety-nine year old grandmother? Well, in light of eternity, this life is just a dot even though it seems like it is so long. This gives me more of an urgency to pray for my family to be saved. It also helps me be patient for His timing and to be patient in the suffering and trials of this life. Thinking in light of eternity for those who by faith have put their trust in Jesus and what He did on the cross, brings a peace and joy that nothing in this world can give you. There is no salvation apart from the work and life of Jesus Christ. I pray that if you have never put your faith and trust in Jesus that you would do that and receive His righteousness and peace and have eternal life with Him. No matter how good a person is, they are not good enough to go to heaven. Our righteousness is as filthy rags. We must have the perfect righteousness of Jesus Christ in order to face God.
Isa 48:22 "There is no peace," says the LORD, "for the wicked."
I remember reading something Micah wrote sometime after he relapsed, about his suffering. He said,
" The future it seems so blurry
It's not gonna be easy
I'm not gonna let myself worry
Cause it's only for a season."
1 Peter 5:10-11
10 But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you. 11 To Him be the glory and the dominion forever and ever. Amen.
Micah knew his life was hidden with Christ in God and he would live eternally with Jesus. He knew this life is short compared to all eternity, and he had the peace of knowing he would spend eternity with Jesus!
Col 3:1-4
If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God. 2 Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth. 3 For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. 4 When Christ who is our life appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory.
There are many things we will never understand in this life but God is sovereign. He is working in hearts, which is more important than what we see. I would have loved to see Micah healed on this earth, but God, in His sovereignty took Micah home. I know the work God did through his suffering glorified Him more than, if He had healed him here on earth. I also know that in that time that we are praying for loved ones to be saved or healed or whatever, that God is working in their hearts and in ours also! He knows the big plan and has it all under His control. I am so encouraged in the Lord as I meditate on His sovereignty.
So I will leave you with the dot and the line. Remember you are only on the dot right now, and so are your loved ones. Where will you spend eternity? I can't wait till eternity. I hope to see you there!
Love, Laura
.__________________________________________
Friday, February 16, 2007 8:25 AM CST
I thought this was a good word spoken by Elisabeth Elliot Gren, whose husband was one of five missionaries killed by the Auca Indians. This was spoken at the Memorial Service for Roni and her daughter Charity Bowers who were missionaries in Peru. Their plane was shot down by the CIA, by accident.
Elisabeth Elliot Gren( some of what she said)
I have heard the story of Jim Bowers' loss of his wife and child who were shot down. It’s one of those stunning things in life. You wonder what God is doing, and of course, we know that God never makes mistakes. He knows exactly what He is doing, and suffering is never for nothing. It says in 1 Thessalonians 3:4, "We are bound to suffer hardship," and Samuel Rutherford points out to us, ‘It is ordinary. It is a part of the cross. "Suffering makes pleasure more poignant. It can only reveal the depth of Christ’s love." He has given to you, Jim, the cup of suffering, and you can share that with the Lord Jesus who said, "The cup the Father has given to me, I have received." In Philippines 1:29, Paul says, "It is given to you not only to believe but also to suffer." I’m tempted to ask, "So what else is new?" All of us, in one form or another, are required to suffer. Some of us accept it graciously, trustingly; others rage against God about it. But God has reasons for needing those two precious people in His heavenly home. He has not forgotten you, Jim, or any of the others who are gathered around with you. Surely He has work for you to do that would not fit anyone else. It says in Psalm 90:12, "Teach us to number our days aright that we may gain a heart of wisdom." It is my prayer that the Lord would do just that for you and for all those who share your sorrow.
George MacDonald, the Scottish writer, wrote, "Were it not for suffering, millions of human beings would never develop an atom of affection. It is folly to conclude that a thing ought not to be done because it hurts. There are powers to be born, creations to be perfected, sinners to be redeemed all through the ministry of pain that could be born, perfected and redeemed in no other way."
Another speaker was Steve Saint. His Dad Nate Saint was another one of the five missionaries killed by the Auca's. He spoke to Roni's son Cory about how Jesus never wastes a hurt.
So much was said at the service that was helpful in understanding why we suffer. To read more go to this web site.
http://www.rockvalleybiblechurch.org/ResourceLibrary/Bowers/Bowers.htm
Tuesday, February 6, 2007 8:38 PM CST
Dear Prayer Warriors,
Many of you remember my friend Laura, whose teenage daughter, Sherilyn had a transplant for AML, at the same time Micah did. Laura came to Micah's memorial service and spoke. Recently Sherilyn's sister, Veronica was diagnosed with leukemia also and has been getting treatments. Many of you have been praying for her. Well, now Sherilyn's blood work reveals that she has apparently had an AML relapse. Please pray for healing for Sherilyn and Veronica and for strength and comfort and help for Laura and the whole family. We know that God is Sovereign and nothing takes Him by surprise. Pray for His grace and love to be poured out on them.You can read her caringbridge site for more details and to keep up. http://www.caringbridge.org/nc/sherilyn/
Thank you so much for your prayers!
Love, Laura and Mark
Monday, January 1, 2007 12:41 AM CST
As we enter into the new year, 2007, it is hard to believe it’s been a year since Micah died. I have heard that once you get through the first year after losing a child, or anyone close, that it gets easier. I think in many ways it has seemed harder lately. I think that is because each day I feel one more day farther away from Micah. Yet, as I look back on this past year and how I felt last year, I can see how far the Lord has brought me. When Micah died, I felt as if I could not make it through one day! My tears soaked my carpet as I cried and wept and prayed each day. As Amy Jo mentioned at church, I know the feeling of crying so much that my throat hurts and the cries are stuck in my throat. Yet God in His grace has helped me through a whole year. I know that through this suffering, I have gone deeper in the Lord and I have seen Him answer my cry. God has brought me to a place of greater dependence on Him. When you are crushed and broken, only God can restore you to be what He wants you to be. My prayer is that God would take this powder that I have been reduced to and make me into the vessel that He has created me for. I want to be totally molded into His image, for His glory. My view of life has changed since Micah died and I now view this life in light of eternity. This gives me hope for the future because my future is to be with Jesus and Micah also, for all eternity. What happens here and now, on this earth, in this short time, affects all eternity.
As the year anniversary of Micah’s death was approaching, I felt a stronger desire to have an open house to remember Micah and to be a blessing to those who have stood by us and supported us so much in so many ways over the 4 years Micah had leukemia and then this past year since his death. God has blessed us so much with such loving and kind friends. We had the open house on Sunday, December 17, 2006, which was one year since he died. It was such a blessing to prepare for the open house. It brought back many memories of Micah as we talked about his favorite foods, got out some of his things and photos and his songbook, and remembered those last days with him. It was good to talk about him with friends and family. Thank you so much for all of you who took the time and made the effort to come out here during such a busy time of year. I know it was a sacrifice to add one more thing to your already busy schedule. It meant so much to us. We loved having you here, and hope you will come back. We also would love for any of you who were not able to come on Dec. 17th to come visit us another time. It softened the sadness of missing Micah to be with our friends. I know I am not very good at expressing my love and thanks to you, but I hope you know how much we are blessed by you.
The Lord has given us a couple of surprise blessings on Micah’s 1 year anniversary to his death. The first was a memory book of Micah from people in our church. We cherish the memories that we have of Micah and the memories you have of Micah. In reading that book, I have even seen parts of Micah that I had not seen before. As I have said before until we meet Micah again in heaven, all we have for now is memories of him. We cannot have an ongoing relationship with him now as we do our other children, family, and friends. We would love anyone who has a memory or pictures that you have, to send it or e-mail it to us and we can add it to the book. We still have many empty pages that can be filled with more memories. The church also gave us the caringbridge pages in a book, which is something we have wanted to do all year. The other surprise was yesterday at church. Dale Johnson gave us a portrait that he painted of Micah. It is beautifully done and such a wonderful treasure to our family. It pictures Micah with his guitar before he relapsed and on Thanksgiving a few weeks before he died, wearing his hat and holding the walking stick he made. It is so special. I would love you to see it.
Thanks again for all your love and support this past year. The cards, phone calls, and memories, the tears you have shed with us and the hugs and prayers have helped to carry us through. We love you all so much. Please continue to lift us up to the Lord as He reminds you of us. May the Lord bless you this year and draw you closer and deeper with Him.
By the way, we have a new picture in the photo album.
Love, Laura
Thursday, November 23, 2006 9:20 PM CST
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. Thanksgiving is a very significant date for us. Today Mark and Gabriel are helping Mark’s Dad cut down a tree that fell on his truck. Thanksgiving Day 5 years ago, Micah fell 20-25 feet out of the tree and we soon discovered he had leukemia. I remember this day like it was yesterday. (actually it was exactly 5 years ago yesterday, Nov. 22) It was right after 911 and I remember thinking that as devastating as 911 was, it was put on a much more personal level as we began the battle with Micah against leukemia. This started 4 years of all kinds of treatment and hope that was dashed many times. Yet God in His great mercy was gracious to us and has helped us to persevere during this trial. It is during these hard times that as we persevere, God increases our faith and strengthens us. Thank you to so many, many people who encouraged us to persevere and who held up our arms during this battle and who continue to lift up our family as we suffer the loss of Micah almost one year ago, Dec. 17, 2005. You strengthened our weak hands and feeble knees and encouraged our fearful hearts, to be strong, many, many times over the last 5 years.
Isa 35:3-4
3 Strengthen the weak hands,
And make firm the feeble knees.
4 Say to those who are fearful-hearted,
"Be strong, do not fear!
Behold, your God will come with vengeance,
With the recompense of God;
He will come and save you."
Last year the day before Thanksgiving a dear friend came to our house and helped the children prepare a feast which we planned to have that night! Micah and I were in the hospital and he was getting blood and platelets which was usually an all day affair. I remember it was taking longer than we hoped as usual and we had planned to have our feast that night because we were planning a short trip to the beach, leaving the next day. The doctor was concerned about us bringing Micah so far. Micah was having difficulty with his breathing and had been on oxygen since early in November. We already had a couple of times that they thought he would not make it through the night. But Micah was persistent and said, he wanted to go to the beach no matter what! . He did not want to spoil the fun for everyone else. I remember telling him that it was OK if we did not go, that we wanted the best for him and he was important to us. He just looked at me stubbornly and said, “We are going Mom” The nurse was able to convince the doctor that if we felt good about it and Micah really wanted to go, then he should let us go. So, we ended up pushing to get out of the hospital. We asked for a wheel chair because Micah was so weak, but after waiting for a while and it didn’t come, Micah got up and said,” Come on Mom we are walking out! We are not waiting for them”. So out I went with Lydia in her stroller hurrying to catch up to Micah as he walked out the door. The nurses at the station watched us in shock begging us to wait for the wheel chair which we did not do but I think the NA walked down there with us.. We ended up getting home in time for a late night Thanksgiving feast that was wonderful!. The next day was Thanksgiving Day and we traveled to the beach in two cars in order to have a comfortable ride for Micah and a place for him to lay down. It was kind of funny that we didn’t think about how all the restaurants would be closed and after trying several along the way that were not open we were all starved by the time we got there. We ended up buying pizza at a gas station because it was the only thing open. We have great memories of our time there. Thanks again for all those that gave us money and gift cards to enable us to go, as well as a place to stay. It was a miracle of God that this trip was made possible. The weather was cold and windy the first day but we ended up having some beautiful days and Micah was even able to sit out on the beach. I love the collage that Gabriel made for us of our time there. It is in the photos section.
After we got home from the beach we had to bring Micah back to the hospital for platelets. He needed blood also but did not want to wait for it., because we were planning a time of praise and worship and fellowship with the youth at our church that Sunday after Thanksgiving. Micah had planned this time to celebrate Jesse’s birthday. Jesse had planned it for Micah so his friends could come and spend time with him. Neither of them wanted the attention on themselves and the attention was put on the Lord and glorifying Him. I still remember the blessing of our time of worship at the house. The presence of the Lord was there and I was touched by the Lord as I know were many that came. Micah had a passion for the Lord and for worshipping Him. Micah always turned to the Lord and to worshipping Him every time he heard bad news concerning his health. I miss the worship that flowed from him so often and the many songs he wrote that came from the Lord. It is hard to believe that all this happened last year during the Thanksgiving season. We have so much to be thankful for. We used to sing a song at church that said, ’We have so much, so much, so much, so much , so much , so much, so much, to be thankful for!...”, and we really do. God has been good to us. His grace is sufficient and His love is everlasting. Nothing can separate us from His love, not even death. Now when I worship I am blessed thinking about Micah worshipping the Lord with us with his guitar in heaven. I was blessed by the words of a song we recently sang that said, “ the saints above joined with the saints below.” I really believe that when we worship the Lord, all of heaven and earth worship together. What a glorious day it will be when we are all together in heaven worshipping our great and glorious King Jesus!
I am thankful to God for giving us the ability to have memories! Sometimes memories are hard, but even though I am sad missing Micah, I am so thankful that God gave us him and that we had 16 years together. Our time here on earth is so very short. It is like a spec compared to eternity. I have so many memories of Micah and his dry humor and tender loving care for people and his servant’s heart. He gave us such a great example of trusting in the Lord and relying on His grace. I am still learning more everyday as I think back on Micah’s life. Micah had been given such amazing grace from our Lord Jesus Christ which enabled him to endure faithfully, persevering to the end. Although it was short compared to what we expect, he impacted and touched more lives in a special way than many people who live very long lives here on earth. I know Micah has many rewards in heaven. He did not live the end of his days for himself. He lived them to give glory to God. He also lived his life without regrets. Many people in the world think that living without regrets, means living life to the fullest in doing all they want to do to satisfy themselves. You know, eat , drink and be merry for tomorrow you die. They think that this life is all there is and they do not know that there is eternity and all we do in this life counts for eternity. Where will you spend eternity? Micah knew because he put is trust and faith in Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior, that he would be spending eternity with Jesus. To Micah, living without regrets meant, living each day for the glory of God. He never complained and was kind and considerate of others. He was always so kind and loving to Lydia. Last Thanksgiving he said that he was thankful for Lydia because she was so happy and she brings so much joy where ever she goes. That is still true today. Micah was also quick to ask forgiveness even for things that brought tears to our eyes. Like the time he got so upset because he couldn’t breath and then he asked us to forgive him for being ’so annoying’, We thought his reaction was much to be expected and didn’t need an apology, but Micah was very sensitive to not wanting to regret anything he said or did that may have been wrong. He also loved people and thought more highly of the interests of others than himself. Micah knew that the most important thing in this life was to have Jesus as his Savior, Lord and treasure. He showed us that in his life. If we live this life to please ourselves and to do all the things we want etc, we are wasting this life. Micah’s life was given for the glory of God.
Matt 10:39
9 He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it.
John 12:23-26
23 But Jesus answered them, saying, "The hour has come that the Son of Man should be glorified. 24 Most assuredly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it produces much grain. 25 He who loves his life will lose it, and he who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. 26 If anyone serves Me, let him follow Me; and where I am, there My servant will be also. If anyone serves Me, him My Father will honor.
What we do and say and don’t do and say on this earth in this life really does count for all of eternity! I am so thankful to God for giving us that time with Micah at the end where we could really consider the things we said and did and to make what we said and did and thought give glory to God and that nothing would be done or said or not done or said that we would regret. I remember thinking a lot about those things. We had time to show our love and appreciation to Micah and to minister to him and be a blessing to him and to make sure that things were right in our hearts and in his. This was truly a gift from God. We do not always have the kind of warning we had for Micah when someone dies. My father died suddenly of a heart attack. Many times people’s lives are snatched away and we regret words spoken or things done. Lord I pray that you would bring healing and restoration in our lives from past hurts and pain and regrets and help us to live each day for your glory, knowing that our days are in Your hands.
I will leave you with one of my favorite and Micah’s favorite verses.
Isa 61:1-11
"The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon Me,
Because the LORD has anointed Me
To preach good tidings to the poor;
He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to the captives,
And the opening of the prison to those who are bound;
2 To proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD,
And the day of vengeance of our God;
To comfort all who mourn,
3 To console those who mourn in Zion,
To give them beauty for ashes,
The oil of joy for mourning,
The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;
That they may be called trees of righteousness,
The planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified."
4 And they shall rebuild the old ruins,
They shall raise up the former desolations,
And they shall repair the ruined cities,
The desolations of many generations.
5 Strangers shall stand and feed your flocks,
And the sons of the foreigner
Shall be your plowmen and your vinedressers.
6 But you shall be named the priests of the LORD,
They shall call you the servants of our God.
You shall eat the riches of the Gentiles,
And in their glory you shall boast.
7 Instead of your shame you shall have double honor,
And instead of confusion they shall rejoice in their portion.
Therefore in their land they shall possess double;
Everlasting joy shall be theirs.
8 "For I, the LORD, love justice;
I hate robbery for burnt offering;
I will direct their work in truth,
And will make with them an everlasting covenant.
9 Their descendants shall be known among the Gentiles,
And their offspring among the people.
All who see them shall acknowledge them,
That they are the posterity whom the LORD has blessed."
10 I will greatly rejoice in the LORD,
My soul shall be joyful in my God;
For He has clothed me with the garments of salvation,
He has covered me with the robe of righteousness,
As a bridegroom decks himself with ornaments,
And as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.
11 For as the earth brings forth its bud,
As the garden causes the things that are sown in it to spring forth,
So the Lord GOD will cause righteousness and praise to spring forth before all the nations.
God bless you ,
Love, Laura
Friday, October 20, 2006 2:31 PM CDT
Last year Oct. 20th was a very difficult day for our family. One year ago today we found out from the doctor that Micah was not in remission and that there was nothing more they could do medically for him. They expected that he could die any where between two weeks and two to three months. We knew that if it would give God more glory that He would heal Micah, but we also knew that if it was God's will and He would get more glory by taking Micah home to be with Him, that Micah may not live more than two weeks. We are so thankful that God did give him almost two more months with us and we have many special memories of those last days. But I can’t deny that I am still grieving and this is a sad day as I think about one year ago today, and then all the days that followed. I am still missing Micah very much. My life is forever changed. There is a hole in my heart and the pain is still there. But I am reminded that this life is so very short compared to eternity. We are all going to die. Every one of us will face the Lord on that day. Where are you going to spend eternity?
Yesterday, Oct. 19th was a very special day. Happy 31st birthday Mark! I bet you didn’t know that I had such a young husband! I praise God that Mark was born again 31 years ago yesterday! Being born again in the Spirit is what gives us hope to go on each day. I praise God that Micah was born again and lives now with the Lord in heaven and one day we will all be reunited.
John 3:3 Jesus answered and said to him, "Most assuredly, I say to you, unless one is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God."
1 Peter 1:22-25
Since you have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit in sincere love of the brethren, love one another fervently with a pure heart, 23 having been born again, not of corruptible seed but incorruptible, through the word of God which lives and abides forever, 24 because
"All flesh is as grass,
And all the glory of man as the flower of the grass.
The grass withers,
And its flower falls away,
25 But the word of the LORD endures forever."
Now this is the word which by the gospel was preached to you.
Love to all, Laura
Monday, September 25, 2006 9:03 AM CDT
Memories of My Friend Micah
A week ago, Sunday it was 9 months since Micah went home to be with Jesus. We miss him so much. As Priscilla says, we miss him even more now as time goes by. In a sense it feels like it was only yesterday that he was with us and that time has just stood still. It is hard to believe that 9 months have gone by. Micah loved the Lord so much and wanted to be with Him more than anything. His delight was in the Lord. Micah taught us so much about loving God and finding all he needs from Him and from His Word. I will never forget a journal entry of his at the time of a relapse. “God is enough” Micah is such a blessing to us.
I have been thinking lately about how much I not only miss Micah as my beloved son, but also as a very special friend to me. Because of the dear friend he became to me it has put an even deeper desire to have each of my children be a dear special friend to me also. Micah and I spent so much time together in different ways. We were separated from other family members and friends a lot. Mark and I were usually switching places with each other, so we had to be apart a lot too. So during this time and especially the last year and a half of his life when his immune system was so compromised and he couldn’t be in public or around many people, Micah and I established a close friendship. Many times he was suffering and needed comfort and just for us to be there and to minister to his needs, like putting washcloth on his hot head to try to cool down a very high temperature, or rubbing his feet and legs that were swollen and hurting. One chemotherapy drug gave him a lot of pain in his legs and rubbing his legs was the only thing that gave relief from the pain. But Micah really never dwelt on his pain. Most of the time I would do what I could to help him be more comfortable, but he never complained. In fact he really didn’t want to talk about his pain or suffering. He was often looking out for the interest of others above himself and did not want us to focus on him. Micah did not want to be pitied. When asked if he wanted visitors especially at the end, he said yes, but not for a pity party, just to have fun together. Micah was really an encouragement to me. He comforted me and helped me through the hard times. He was so brave and stoic and never complained. When asked how he was doing, he always said he was fine, even if he was shaking and sweating from a high fever and chills. He did not like to be the center of attention. Micah was always a servant and wanted to help in any way he could no matter how he felt. I remember the man at Duke who helped patients to and from radiation commenting on how he had been watching Micah and was amazed at how he would help me with Lydia and fold up and put away the stroller even after just finishing radiation! Micah was definitely a servant, and a protector. I am also so thankful for the joy he had. He seemed to always be thinking and saying funny things. Reading his online journal, or e-mails he sent usually did not reveal any suffering. It took a while before he showed the funny side of himself to others but towards the end he surprised the hospital staff with things he did or said as jokes.
I have a lot of memories in the hospital since we spent so much time there. I was usually with Micah during the day and Mark and I would take turns at night. Mark often was with him more on weekends. The Lord really gave us grace to be there. When Micah was first diagnosed, being in the hospital was the hardest thing for him, but we learned to be patient, knowing that he may be there for weeks sometimes. During transplant and after it was even longer periods of time that we ‘lived’ in the hospital. Micah would much prefer to be home and he would do anything he could to try to convince the doctor he should be allowed to go home. But when he had to be in the hospital, he made the best of it. I remember Micah telling me everyday things that happened while I was gone, in such a way that he had me laughing so hard, while he sat there straight faced. Micah and I also exercised a lot. We took turns riding the stationary bike. We also walked the stairs, until the end of my pregnancy when he protected me by making me go in the elevator, while he went up and down the stairs, after getting chemo! If he could go out of his room but not the hospital we went to the roof. But if they said we could walk around outside, we took advantage of that! We used to joke that Micah was an escapee from the hospital as we walked blocks and blocks away hoping a doctor or nurse we knew would not be driving by. Micah surprised a friend and Mark, when they walked blocks away to a church at the end of the street, just at the time when a friend who was dancing there was coming out the back door! Micah knew that she would be there then, but Mark did not! Once when walking at Duke to the gardens, with me holding Lydia the whole time and Micah weak from the BMT, we had to rest on every bench. Then Micah decided we should go to the chapel, which was another far walk and from there back to the hospital. Well, we got a little lost and almost didn’t make it back in time for his scheduled meds! A doctor joked with us, when giving directions to the gardens, that if we saw a sign for Chapel Hill we’ve gone the wrong way! I think we may have seen that sign! It was probably soon after this that he got such bad blisters on his feet that he had to be off his feet until they healed.
When Micah was discharged from Duke, he was not allowed in public, so we would go on driving detours after his clinic visits. Sometimes we drove around Durham, other times to towns nearby, like Chapel Hill and Hillsboro. Once we went all the way to Burlington to buy a hat and we couldn’t resist visiting a friend. We were tempted to drive all the way home and see everyone at home with the chicken pocks, but we resisted. Micah took many pictures of nature during those trips as we stopped at swamps and other interesting things along the way, in areas he probably should not have been around because of his compromised immune system.
Micah and I also had a lot of fun playing games. Monopoly became a favorite. You can play that game for a very long time! Micah taught me spades and we played it often, although he almost always won. We had a lot of fun laughing during our games. We were terrible at pool and joked about how we had gotten so good that we could even keep the balls on the table. Many times when Micah wasn’t able to get out of bed, we read, and read and read! He mostly wanted to hear the Bible, but we also read a lot of Christian biographies that encouraged him in his faith and endurance in his suffering and trials. Some of his favorite ones were, David Livingstone, Cameron Townsend, William Carey, Nate Saint and Hudson Taylor! Micah would rather read his Bible and listen to a sermon then watch TV, unless of course it was Roy Rogers! Micah got our family hooked on watching him.
Micah was an encourager to me and to others. When I was discouraged, Micah often encouraged me by his positive attitude and his worship of the Lord. He would go straight to the Lord after hearing bad news, and he would worship God on his guitar. When the doctors told Micah and I that they had done all they could and there was nothing left medically to do to try to cure him, I cried as he hugged and comforted me. He was not afraid to die and he looked forward to being in the arms of Jesus, but he knew it would be very hard for us. Even though Micah was quiet, he had a keen interest in other patients, families, and staff which is evident in the many songs he wrote especially that last year and a half of his life.
Micah could not go to church because of his immune system, so we had church together. We read the Bible and prayed and listened to sermon tapes. Someone had to be with Micah and so I would rather be the one to stay home, or in the hospital with him. I am so glad I did. Those were such precious times. The Lord knit my heart to Micah in a special way and I know that our relationship will even be better in heaven because everything is better in heaven. Heaven is perfect! I will always treasure the friendship and love I have for Micah. I do feel a real emptiness in my heart with Micah gone. I thank the Lord for giving me such a special friend in Micah. I miss his friendship so much. He was so dear to me. I pray the Lord will bless and develop a special friendship with each of my other children. I thank the Lord for the opportunities I had to spend with them, even when Micah was sick. I am glad I took one or two of the other children with me most of the time. This enabled me to spend more time alone with the other children and for them to also be with Micah and develop a closeness with him. I thank God for each of my children. They are each so special and unique and I long for a lifetime and eternity of close friendships with each one. Parents, I would encourage each of you, to put the effort into being friends with your children. Children, I would encourage you to love and build a special friendship with your brothers and sisters, for you never know the days the Lord has allotted for you to be here on this earth. If you have put your trust in Jesus as your Lord and Savior and treasure, then you will have all eternity with the Lord and with the saints. Relationships we will have for all eternity. Things are just temporary. I am so thankful to the Lord for the special relationship He gave me with Micah. I praise God for my husband and children and other people He has put in my life.
I love you all. Laura
Monday, August 28, 2006 8:48 AM CDT
Dear Prayer Warriors,
Thank you for praying for Veronica who has leukemia (sister of Sherilyn who had leukemia and a transplant when Micah did). She is really in need of our prayers and help. Veronica is being treated at Duke. I know that this is a very intense and stressful time for Veronica, their mother Laura and the whole family. It was very hard for me when we went through this with Micah and I had Mark's help. Laura is a single mom. Please pray for the Lord to pour out His grace and strengthen her. I know our Lord Jesus Christ will be with her and help her. Please pray also for the Lord to meet all her practical needs. If you want to keep up with Veronica, Laura has been updating on Sherilyn's website which is:
http://www3.caringbridge.org/nc/sherilyn/
As I read her updates, it brings back many memories for me. Memories of very difficult times, that I can hardly imagine going through again with another child, but also memories of how wonderful our God is and how faithful He is to bring us through every trial. Also I have many memories of you all who got us through with all your love, prayers, fasting and support. What would we do without each other. We need the body of Christ!
We love you!!
Lord, bless you all.
Love, Laura
PS I finally replaced the huge picture of Micah with a smaller one. Actually Gabriel did it for me.
2 Cor 4:16-18
Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. 17 For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, 18 while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006 10:24 AM CDT
8-23-06
It has now been 8 months since Micah died and I am missing him more then ever. Lately I have had overwhelming sadness and pain in missing Micah. Many hard memories have been flooding back. I am experiencing so many of the same emotions and that sick feeling in my stomach and throat I had often as we went through Micah’s sickness and death. As I began to ponder why this may be so hard right now, I realized that this time last year, after intense treatment to get Micah back in remission and ready for another transplant, our hope was dashed again when we found out he was not in remission. This was a very hard time for all of us last year and it seems like yesterday. Life will never be the same without him. We would appreciate your prayers.
Many of you may remember Sherilyn, another teenager who had a transplant the same time as Micah. Her mother Laura was at Micah’s memorial service and she spoke about how Micah encouraged Sherilyn. Sherilyn is doing well, but this family is in great need of our prayers. Sherilyn’s 19 year old sister Veronica, was just diagnosed with the same kind of leukemia (AML), that Sherilyn had. She is at Duke today having a central line put in and starting her treatment. Please cry out to the Lord for Veronica, her mother, Laura, Sherilyn and their whole family. I can not imagine the pain they are all feeling right now, but I know that God is still good and His grace is sufficient for all things.
2 Cor 4:16-18
Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. 17 For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, 18 while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.
Thank you for all your continued love and prayers and support.
Love, Laura
Saturday, June 17, 2006 10:21 AM CDT
Happy birthday to Josiah who turned 18 on June 15th! I am amazed that my second born is now 18 years old! WOW! He is really growing in the Lord and is a mighty man of God! I am so thankful for him.
Josiah turning 18 makes me think of Micah and how he never made it to his 16th birthday. Of course we know that was God’s plan all along and those were the days appointed for him. We never would have thought that would be the case when he was born and we brought home our new sweet baby to join his two older brothers. I was talking to Josiah about how I don't take birthdays for granted anymore. None of us are promised tomorrow. Each day is a gift from the Lord. I pray that all my children and Mark and I would not take any of the days the Lord has given us for granted. I do not want us to waste our lives, but to make each day count, for the Kingdom of God is at hand. My prayer is that we will not be lukewarm, but that we would really know how poor and needy we are and how much we need Jesus, and that we would all be on fire for Jesus!
The Lukewarm Church
Rev 3:14"And to the angel of the church of the Laodiceans write,'These things says the Amen, the Faithful and True Witness, the Beginning of the creation of God: 15 "I know your works, that you are neither cold nor hot. I could wish you were cold or hot. 16 So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will vomit you out of My mouth. 17 Because you say,'I am rich, have become wealthy, and have need of nothing' -- and do not know that you are wretched, miserable, poor, blind, and naked -- 18 I counsel you to buy from Me gold refined in the fire, that you may be rich; and white garments, that you may be clothed, that the shame of your nakedness may not be revealed; and anoint your eyes with eye salve, that you may see. 19 As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten. Therefore be zealous and repent. 20 Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me. 21 To him who overcomes I will grant to sit with Me on My throne, as I also overcame and sat down with My Father on His throne. 22 "He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches."'"
Today is 6 months since Micah has gone home to be with the Lord. Thank you to all those who remembered us, sent cards and have continued to pray for us. We really need your prayers. I find it is not getting much easier. The longer the time, the further away from me he seems. I will always miss Micah while I am still in this tent on the earth. No matter what, there will be a hole in my heart and someone special missing from my life, Micah. I am thankful for the testimony that Micah had and still has as the Lord continues to use his life and death for God's glory.
Yes, I am still hurting and still sorrowful and grieving. Some days are very hard. But, I praise God that I am not sorrowing as one who has no hope. And it is that hope that we can share with others. I am glad the Lord has opened doors for me to share the hope we have in Jesus. I pray that He will continue to do that, and that we will be faithful to speak of that hope.
Jesus is my hope. I will keep on believing and trusting in The Faithful One. How could I not, for Jesus is our only hope. He really is all we need. I know Micah knew that. As the things and joys of this life were stripped away from Micah, one thing at a time, he was at peace because he had the best friend anyone could have, Jesus! There is nothing in this world that will give me true joy and happiness. Everything will fail except the Lord. He will never fail. His love is everlasting. Nothing can separate me from His love. Are there things in your life that you are looking to for happiness? Do you think that if you could do this or that, or go here or there or if people praised you more or your friends and family understood you better, or if you could have this or that, or if God would answer your prayer the way you want Him to, or if… You fill in the blank… then… you would be happy? You will find that those things do not bring true joy, but when you seek the Lord and follow after His righteousness and His peace and His joy, when you seek first the Kingdom of God and treasure Him above all things, when you love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind, then you will have true lasting joy. Happy are the people whose God is the Lord!
Love, Laura
PS I did put a new picture of Micah. It is a little large, but I haven't figured out how to change that yet. It is the picture we had on the front of the program for his memorial service.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006 12:16 AM CDT
May 17, 2006
It has now been 5 months since Micah died. God continues to help us. There have been some very difficult days and moments for me lately. Our family went to Duke to the Rainbow Heroes walk. It was bitter sweet, and more emotional then we had expected. It was wonderful seeing many of Micah’s nurses and Dr. Martin. We like your hair cut Dr. Martin. Dr. Martin’s wife and daughter were there. It was great to meet them and see how supportive they are of his work. He could not do what he does without their support. Jayne Cash, the nurse coordinator was there with her daughter. We don’t know how we would have done without her as we made plans for transplant. It was wonderful seeing, Marion the social worker, Lindsey and Jane from the family support staff, and many others. We also saw several of the families who were there while we were, some of whom also had a child die. It was good to see Stephen’s parents, yet sad also because Stephen went to be with the Lord while we were at Duke. Stephen inspired Micah to walk as much as he did by his example and record of walking a marathon while in transplant. Micah had been determined to walk a marathon too, and he accomplished that goal, with blistered feet and all. We’ve had spring, Easter, and Mothers Day without Micah. We just went on our first camping trip and our first time strawberry picking without Micah. Although all these were a blessing to us and so good for our family to do together, yet they have been hard too as they bring with them many memories that bring, laughter and tears.
We are making a garden in memory of Micah. It is fun to watch it develop and to see everyone’s hands in it, including grandma and friends. My son Josiah has been working on it more then anyone doing beautiful rock walls and patio and walkways with the rocks from our land. We have some flowers growing in the cracks and spaces between the rocks. Gabriel has done his share of dirt moving and rock finding and pond and waterfall making. The girls have shared in the planting and work as well. It is all centered around a redbud tree that Micah and Gabriel transplanted from the woods last year and God has blessed it to live and flourish! So, even Micah had a hand in his own garden. That is a blessing.
We have been blessed. Yes, we have been through a lot over the past 4 years and especially the last year and a half, and we are missing Micah so much. It is still very hard. Yet, God has drawn us closer to Him and taught us many things. "Thus far the LORD has helped us." (1 Sam 7:12)
I asked some of the children to tell me one thing that the Lord taught them through the time of Micah’s sickness, suffering and death, and our grief and suffering the loss of his presence. These were some of the answers. The Lord has taught me to: love Him more, to pray more, to read the Bible more, to not be selfish, that you should not worry about what might happen, but just take one step at a time, and to trust the Lord more. I would say that the Lord taught me all those things also, and more. Some main things that I have learned are that God is faithful. When you think you can not go on and you can not take one more thing, when the things that you have feared have come upon you, when you are in despair and your heart is broken and bleeding, God is there. The Lord has helped us. He was there through all the pain and suffering. He was faithful and is faithful and will always be faithful in my life and in the lives of my loved ones.
Deut 7:9 "Therefore know that the LORD your God, He is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and mercy for a thousand generations with those who love Him and keep His commandments;”
God is Sovereign. We may not understand all of God’s ways or why He allows what He does, but I know that He is doing what is best and it is for good. He is trustworthy.
Ps 18:1I will love You, O LORD, my strength.
2 The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer;
My God, my strength, in whom I will trust;
My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
3 I will call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised;
So shall I be saved from my enemies.
I have also learned that God’s grace is sufficient. Many times I felt I could not take any more, yet when more came, God’s grace came flooding in with it. His grace is powerful. Grace is not just a word, it is the power of God working in my life and in the lives of those I love.
2 Cor 12:9 And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
We can all look back in our life and remember the things that God has done. Count your blessings.
Prov 10:6 Blessings are on the head of the righteous,
But violence covers the mouth of the wicked.
Here is a great hymn.
COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS
When upon life’s billows you are tempest tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.
Refrain
Count your blessings, name them one by one,
Count your blessings, see what God hath done!
Count your blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.
Are you ever burdened with a load of care?
Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?
Count your many blessings, every doubt will fly,
And you will keep singing as the days go by.
Refrain
When you look at others with their lands and gold,
Think that Christ has promised you His wealth untold;
Count your many blessings. Wealth can never buy
Your reward in heaven, nor your home on high.
Refrain
So, amid the conflict whether great or small,
Do not be disheartened, God is over all;
Count your many blessings, angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.
Refrain
Thank you all for your continued prayers, and cards and love. We would not have been able to make it thus far without you and we need you still. If the Lord puts the children and families on your hearts that are going through or have been through transplant, please pray for them. Transplants are very hard on the whole family and many of the children are still suffering from the side effects even one year later and are still not able to be in public because of low immune systems. This was one of the hardest parts of transplant for Micah and is for the other children. Count your blessings!
Thank you for continuing to share memories of Micah. As we have said before we love to talk about Micah and we love to hear about him.
We love you all,
Laura and Mark
Wednesday, May 17, 2006 12:16 AM CDT
May 17, 2006
It has now been 5 months since Micah died. God continues to help us. There have been some very difficult days and moments for me lately. Our family went to Duke to the Rainbow Heroes walk. It was bitter sweet, and more emotional then we had expected. It was wonderful seeing many of Micah’s nurses and Dr. Martin. We like your hair cut Dr. Martin. Dr. Martin’s wife and daughter were there. It was great to meet them and see how supportive they are of his work. He could not do what he does without their support. Jayne Cash, the nurse coordinator was there with her daughter. We don’t know how we would have done without her as we made plans for transplant. It was wonderful seeing, Marion the social worker, Lindsey and Jane from the family support staff, and many others. We also saw several of the families who were there while we were, some of whom also had a child die. It was good to see Stephen’s parents, yet sad also because Stephen went to be with the Lord while we were at Duke. Stephen inspired Micah to walk as much as he did by his example and record of walking a marathon while in transplant. Micah had been determined to walk a marathon too, and he accomplished that goal, with blistered feet and all. We’ve had spring, Easter, and Mothers Day without Micah. We just went on our first camping trip and our first time strawberry picking without Micah. Although all these were a blessing to us and so good for our family to do together, yet they have been hard too as they bring with them many memories that bring, laughter and tears.
We are making a garden in memory of Micah. It is fun to watch it develop and to see everyone’s hands in it, including grandma and friends. My son Josiah has been working on it more then anyone doing beautiful rock walls and patio and walkways with the rocks from our land. We have some flowers growing in the cracks and spaces between the rocks. Gabriel has done his share of dirt moving and rock finding and pond and waterfall making. The girls have shared in the planting and work as well. It is all centered around a redbud tree that Micah and Gabriel transplanted from the woods last year and God has blessed it to live and flourish! So, even Micah had a hand in his own garden. That is a blessing.
We have been blessed. Yes, we have been through a lot over the past 4 years and especially the last year and a half, and we are missing Micah so much. It is still very hard. Yet, God has drawn us closer to Him and taught us many things. "Thus far the LORD has helped us." (1 Sam 7:12)
I asked some of the children to tell me one thing that the Lord taught them through the time of Micah’s sickness, suffering and death, and our grief and suffering the loss of his presence. These were some of the answers. The Lord has taught me to: love Him more, to pray more, to read the Bible more, to not be selfish, that you should not worry about what might happen, but just take one step at a time, and to trust the Lord more. I would say that the Lord taught me all those things also, and more. Some main things that I have learned are that God is faithful. When you think you can not go on and you can not take one more thing, when the things that you have feared have come upon you, when you are in despair and your heart is broken and bleeding, God is there. The Lord has helped us. He was there through all the pain and suffering. He was faithful and is faithful and will always be faithful in my life and in the lives of my loved ones.
Deut 7:9 "Therefore know that the LORD your God, He is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and mercy for a thousand generations with those who love Him and keep His commandments;”
God is Sovereign. We may not understand all of God’s ways or why He allows what He does, but I know that He is doing what is best and it is for good. He is trustworthy.
Ps 18:1I will love You, O LORD, my strength.
2 The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer;
My God, my strength, in whom I will trust;
My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
3 I will call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised;
So shall I be saved from my enemies.
I have also learned that God’s grace is sufficient. Many times I felt I could not take any more, yet when more came, God’s grace came flooding in with it. His grace is powerful. Grace is not just a word, it is the power of God working in my life and in the lives of those I love.
2 Cor 12:9 And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
We can all look back in our life and remember the things that God has done. Count your blessings.
Prov 10:6 Blessings are on the head of the righteous,
But violence covers the mouth of the wicked.
Here is a great hymn.
COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS
When upon life’s billows you are tempest tossed,
When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.
Refrain
Count your blessings, name them one by one,
Count your blessings, see what God hath done!
Count your blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done.
Are you ever burdened with a load of care?
Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?
Count your many blessings, every doubt will fly,
And you will keep singing as the days go by.
Refrain
When you look at others with their lands and gold,
Think that Christ has promised you His wealth untold;
Count your many blessings. Wealth can never buy
Your reward in heaven, nor your home on high.
Refrain
So, amid the conflict whether great or small,
Do not be disheartened, God is over all;
Count your many blessings, angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.
Refrain
Thank you all for your continued prayers, and cards and love. We would not have been able to make it thus far without you and we need you still. If the Lord puts the children and families on your hearts that are going through or have been through transplant, please pray for them. Transplants are very hard on the whole family and many of the children are still suffering from the side effects even one year later and are still not able to be in public because of low immune systems. This was one of the hardest parts of transplant for Micah and is for the other children. Count your blessings!
Thank you for continuing to share memories of Micah. As we have said before we love to talk about Micah and we love to hear about him.
We love you all,
Laura and Mark
Monday, April 17, 2006 7:47 PM CDT
Today is 4 months since Micah died. I must say again, that it really does not seem like it has been that long. We are still missing him so much! I miss his smile and his laugh. I miss his singing and his funny faces and funny comments. I miss his hugs. I am so thankful for the many hugs and kisses I gave him before he died. I do not take lightly the fact that I can hug and kiss my other children still. The older boys may resist a little, but I love them all so much and know how important those hugs are. I am thankful that Micah enjoyed my hugs and we often kidded about them. Every time I left the hospital room, I would hug and kiss him. Then I would think of excuses to hug and kiss him again. Many times it took me so long, with Lydia, to actually get out the door, that I would say, well, it’s been too long, now I have to hug you again. He would just laugh and receive my hugs and kisses and say I love you. One day, after doing that a couple of times, I still was dawdling, and Micah laughed at me and said,” Mom, it’s been too long. You need to give me another hug before you leave.” I treasure these memories. So please hug and kiss your children, no matter what age they are! They need your tender touch, whether they admit it or not, and so do you.
This grief and suffering is sometimes so hard to endure. I wasn’t meant to carry it myself. Jesus has borne my griefs and carried my sorrows;
I must continually cry out to the Lord for strength and comfort and help. I often think of so many others who lost a child. I pray for you too. I have to encourage myself with God’s Word and His truth. One of the things I think about is how Micah got through all the suffering he went through. He was totally submitted to the Lord and he cried out continually to him. God was always faithful. Micah said that sometimes he would get discouraged, but it never lasted long because the Lord would always encourage him and help him. The Bible tells us that if we draw near to God, He will draw near to us. This is a promise. Believe it! God’s Word is true. I know it is. God has been so faithful to me and He will continue to be faithful. He was faithful to Micah too. The Lord will help us through our time of suffering the loss of Micah’s presence in our lives. God’s grace is sufficient. I know Micah knew that. We would not have been able to go through all we did these past 4 years and 4 months if it had not been for God’s grace in our lives. Sometimes when we are in a place of sorrow and suffering, it is hard to keep going, but we must continue to trust the Lord. Remember He is faithful and He is God. Some things are very hard to understand. So when we can’t understand, we need to trust in God’s character. We know He is faithful and He is good and He is in control. God is a God of mercy and comfort. The Bible tells us that all things work together for good.
Rom 8:28
28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.
God never promised us that life would be free of troubles, but He did promise to be with us and to help us. He has overcome the world. We are victorious in Jesus.
John 16:33
33 These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world."
I know I have not suffered nearly as much as many others. Consider Job, who lost everything, and yet continued to worship God.
Job 1:20-22
20 Then Job arose, tore his robe, and shaved his head; and he fell to the ground and worshiped. 21 And he said:
"Naked I came from my mother's womb,
And naked shall I return there.
The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away;
Blessed be the name of the LORD."
22 In all this Job did not sin nor charge God with wrong.
When the storms of life come we must continue to trust in Jesus. He is the only one who can calm the storm and who can keep us from sinking.
I often think of a song that Micah posted on his web journal, and eventually learned to play on the guitar. It is about praising God in the storm. He posted this a day or 2 after he found out that there was nothing left that the doctors could do. I think Micah had determined that he would continue to praise God in this storm, no matter what. He was submitted willingly to God’s will, even if it meant suffering till death. Micah trusted Jesus and he knew as Paul did that God’s grace was sufficient.
2 Cor 12:8-10
8 Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. 9 And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Here is the song by Mark Hall
I was sure by now
That You would have reached down
And wiped away our tears away
Stepped in and saved the days
But once again I say "Amen" and it's still raining
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter who I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never leave my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You
I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of heaven and earth
Praising God in the storm,
Love,
Laura, Mark and family
Friday, April 14, 2006 8:49 AM CDT
May the Lord bless you as you celebrate our risen Lord.
Below is a short devotion I get through the e-mail from Scripture Union. I hope it is encouraging to you. It was to me especially in light of Micah's death. God the Father knows very well what it is like to have His Son suffer and die. Jesus Himself was a Man of sorrows and aquainted with grief. Because Jesus died for our sins we have eternal life if we accept the punishment that Christ took for us. That of course gives me hope that not only will I see Micah again, but I will live eternally with Jesus Christ my Savior.
Isa 53:3-4
3 He is despised and rejected by men,
A Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.
And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him;
He was despised, and we did not esteem Him.
4 Surely He has borne our griefs
And carried our sorrows;
Yet we esteemed Him stricken,
Smitten by God, and afflicted.
Love, Laura
DEVOTION
PRAY
Almighty and most merciful God, on this Good Friday, I bow in sorrow and grief at the suffering of Your beloved Son.
READ
"When I survey the wondrous cross, On which the Prince of glory died, My richest gain I count but loss, And pour contempt on all my pride" (Isaac Watts, 1674-1748).
Matthew 27:45-56
[45] Now from the sixth hour there was darkness over all the land unto the ninth hour. [46] And about the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani? that is to say, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me? [47] Some of them that stood there, when they heard that, said, This man calleth for Elias. [48] And straightway one of them ran, and took a spunge, and filled it with vinegar, and put it on a reed, and gave him to drink. [49] The rest said, Let be, let us see whether Elias will come to save him. [50] Jesus, when he had cried again with a loud voice, yielded up the ghost. [51] And, behold, the veil of the temple was rent in twain from the top to the bottom; and the earth did quake, and the rocks rent; [52] And the graves were opened; and many bodies of the saints which slept arose, [53] And came out of the graves after his resurrection, and went into the holy city, and appeared unto many. [54] Now when the centurion, and they that were with him, watching Jesus, saw the earthquake, and those things that were done, they feared greatly, saying, Truly this was the Son of God. [55] And many women were there beholding afar off, which followed Jesus from Galilee, ministering unto him: [56] Among which was Mary Magdalene, and Mary the mother of James and Joses, and the mother of Zebedees children.
KJV
REFLECT
What was the reaction to Jesus' death recorded here?
We tend to glamorize and sanitize the cross: we call it "rugged." We paint it silhouetted against a sunset. We make replicas from shiny silver and polished pine. We call it wondrous... but when we cleanse the cross of its horror we deprive those who suffer of their point of contact with Christ. Anyone trapped in terrible pain (perhaps facing the prospect of death or the apparent absence of God, see v. 46) knows that their suffering is neither wondrous, rugged nor symbolic. Their wounds - physical, psychological or spiritual - can hurt so terribly.
For the women at the foot of Christ's cross there was certainly nothing "wondrous" about the sight (55,56). And for Mary, Jesus' mother, that cross marked the place of her Son's death; it was the instrument of her Child's torture.
Like Mary we know what it is to feel helpless, hopeless and scared. But as we pass through the horror of the cross we eventually discover its hope - not in the pain but in spite of and beyond it. For these women, grief would turn to joy, soon, but not yet. This evil Friday would become "Good." And even the splintered, bloody cross would become "wondrous" in every nation (see also Gal. 6:14).
APPLY
What do I think of "when I survey the wondrous cross"? Do I find hope there for the difficult times of life? Do I know anyone who is suffering terribly right now? If so, will I pray for them today?
PRAY
Lord Jesus, help me to understand all that You accomplished for me on the cross and to never, ever forget it.
Tuesday, March 21, 2006 12:48 AM CST
THE RETURN OF THE HAT- God cares about little things!
The Hat saga continues. Right after Micah was discharged from Duke Hospital, after the bone marrow transplant, because of all the chemotherapy and the radiation therapy, Micah’s skin was very sensitive and susceptible to getting skin cancer. So we began our search for the perfect hat with a wide brim to protect him from the sun. Well, Micah had a particular hat in his mind, but shopping for the hat was a little difficult because, he couldn’t go out in public, and we didn’t know of anyone who made designer hats, that was willing to come to our Durham home. The adventures are posted on my xanga site( www.xanga.com/elsi_ell ) starting March 28, 2005. So, for those of you who never got the original scoop about the hat, you can read all about it starting on March 28, 2005.
After much trial and error, and a nice adventurous long drive to the famous Diamond P Western Store we found the perfect hat. It was a tightly woven straw cowboy hat made of palm.
Many of you especially from Duke think of Micah in his nice palm cowboy hat. He looked quite dashing, and the younger children at the clinic seemed to enjoy seeing him. One boy commented to his mother as we walked by, “Look Mom, A real cowboy!!”
We noticed the thread on the inside rim of the hat was loose, but didn’t think it would be a problem. Soon it began to unravel so we brought it to the attention of the owner who said it must be a defect and they would call us when they got new ones ordered. As the hat continued to come undone, we called and brought it back several times, but they still had not ordered the new hats. By this time Micah had relapsed and was starting some intense chemotherapy to try to get him back into remission. He really wanted to have the hat taken care of, so we went back a final time and they suggested he exchange the hat for a totally different one. He gave in, knowing he may not get another chance to come back, and he exchanged it for the black felt hat that many of you remember. This was a nice hat. It reminded me of Johnny Cash, but I always missed the palm one. Micah never complained, but I finally got him to admit that he too preferred the palm one, but the felt one was nice and would be warm as the weather got cold.
Well, I do have good memories of Micah in both hats. It is funny how many memories come with just a hat. I am thankful that we have his black felt hat. But, in the back of my mind I kept thinking it would have been nice to have the palm one too. Mark agreed and suggested that it was possible, that since the hat had a defect, that they just have it lying around the warehouse. So, one day while in town with a couple of my girls, I got the courage to go there and ask about the hat. I had to explain the story and they remembered Micah very well. They showed me a hat just like the one he had, but it was new and a different size. I told them, that although this hat was the same style , it was not “the” hat. I really only wanted Micah’s original. Well, the lady said she would check the store, and soon came back with the hat that was on display. I turned it over to look inside, and sure enough if was definitely Micah’s hat, with the thread unraveling and some distinctive marks on the inside. They made me pay some for it, but not full price, and with tears of thankfulness to the Lord, we were off with Micah’s hat. You may think it odd that I would want that hat, but Mark and I were very touched by the Lord. We are so blessed and thankful that God watched over and kept and returned Micah’s hat, so we could have the tangible memory! God cares about those little things, like just a hat. If He cares about those little things that concern us, how much more does He care for us!
Matt 6:26 Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?
Heb 2:6 What is man that You are mindful of him, Or the son of man that You take care of him?
1 Peter 5:7 Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.
I put new photos of Micah in some of his hats.
Thanks for checking in on us. We love you, Laura
Saturday, March 4, 2006 8:34 AM CST
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Saturday, March 4, 2006 8:14 AM CST
Last Year on March 1, 2005 Micah had his transplant. He relapsed after the transplant, then after many attempts to get him in remission, by Oct.20,2005 the doctors concluded there was nothing left they could do to try to cure him. On Nov. 15, 2005 Micah posted this song that he wrote, called: I KNOW HE'LL NEVER LEAVE, on his Xanga site. Since I have been enjoying reading his old posts I am also giving you a taste of his writing. Here is what he wrote that day, including the song at the end. It is amazing that he could joke and tease, considering what he was facing. I guess it is because of Micah's confidence, that he knew Jesus would never leave him.
Heb 13:5-6
5 Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." 6 So we may boldly say:
"The LORD is my helper;
I will not fear.
What can man do to me?"
From Micah's Xanga web log, Nov. 15, 2005
"I'm glad to know how lenient the Xanga post police are. Three weeks since I've posted and I'm not locked in the xanga jail house! That's not too shabby!
Now this is a kinda funny thing that might have happened. See Miss Gena (one of my old nurses at baptist) and Mom declare that at some point during my last stay there (just last week) she came to visit me and when she came in I squirted her with a suringeful of saline. But I think they're wrong. See they're trying to say that I was so high on Morphine and adavan that I just don't remember it. But most of the time I was there I was in bed and they said that I squirted her from the couch. Anyway I think they're just mixed up with the time before last when I really did squirt her."
I Know He'll Never Leave
Chorus:
I know He'll never leave
When you're broken and you can't go on
I know He'll give you peace
Despite the waves you'll feel His calm
Verse:
When you're beaten down with pain
Or when the walls of sorrow hit you
His grace will always remain
And His mercy is always new
Verse:
If it seems you're all alone
And only death is with you
His thoughts are not our own
And His plan we can't pursue
by Micah Leake
Saturday, February 25, 2006 9:32 PM CST
Feb. 25, 2006
Today is Mark’s birthday. I want to praise God for my wonderful husband! Words can not express how blessed I have been to have him for a husband and father to our children. Mark's love for God, for His Word and His truth, have drawn me closer to the Lord and caused me to love Him more. Mark is so gentle, kind, patient, forgiving, merciful and humble. So, Praise God for Mark! Happy Birthday Mark! I love you.
Last year on Mark’s birthday, Feb. 25, 2005, Micah was admitted into Duke Hospital for his Bone Marrow Transplant. It was his 5th day of radiation therapy which he had twice a day, and he would begin the chemotherapy the next day, to wipe out his bone marrow in order to receive Priscilla’s cells. We had such high hopes of his complete recovery, yet much trepidation as well, because we knew the risks of going through a BMT and we knew it would be a very hard thing to go through for Micah and for us. We knew he would suffer, yet we hoped that in the end he would recover. It was worth the try. Micah did so well during the transplant. He didn’t complain and he was determined to continue on, even when it was hard and he saw so many not make it. We were thankful he did well and seemed to be recovering. Then we heard the heartbreaking news that Micah had relapsed again. Yet Micah did not give up. He pressed on with more chemo. Then when all attempts failed to get him in remission he continued to press on to know the Lord more and to love Him more. He kept on living for Jesus. As long as he still had breath, he would praise the Lord. All that Micah went through was very hard. It was hard to see him suffer and to have to let go of so many things. Yet it was such an encouragement to us to press on in the Lord no matter what. To live for Christ, as long as we have breath. Thank you Jesus, for Micah and for his example to us. I miss him so much and love him so much. Thank you Jesus for almost 16 years with him. Thank you for the 4 extra years you gave him and us after his diagnosis of leukemia. Although our hopes were dashed in Micah getting healed here on earth, he is perfectly healed now and has victory in Jesus and eternal life with His Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
Through all we have been through these past 4 years with Micah's sickness and death, I have come to see, not that I have a great faith or strength or anything, but I have come to see how weak I am in my faith and how great and awesome and faithful is my God, and how much I need Him. God is the one who is faithful. He is full of mercy and grace and love. I can depend of Him. I know I am weak and I have failed many times in many ways, but my God is faithful and He is all powerful. He is righteous and always does what is right and good. He is full of mercy and compassion. He is faithful, in spite of me and all my shortcomings. Praise God that He who called me is also He who will sustain me and keep me. I love my Jesus more and more.
Ps 150:6 Let everything that has breath praise the LORD.
Praise the LORD!
Phil 3:12-14
Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. 13 Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, 14 I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
Press on to know the Lord. Love to all of you.
Laura
Wednesday, February 8, 2006 10:30 AM CST
2-8-06
We put a few new pictures on, for those who are interested. I wrote this a couple of weeks ago and it got much longer than I meant, so I haven’t posted it till now. I guess since I don’t post very often this will last for a while.
I have recently received several sweet notes and cards from people. These have meant more to me than you can know. Thank you. It has been very healing to my heart to hear such kind words about Micah and memories and how he touched your life. I pray that you all would have seen a glimpse of Jesus in Micah and in us as we went through this trial. If it were not for God and His faithfulness, we would not have had the grace or strength to endure.
I have been missing Micah so much. It is hard to even throw out his medicine. It makes me cry because I would love to be making the long trips to and from the hospital with him. I would love to be shut up in the house with him because his immune function was not strong enough to go out in public. I think in many ways, as time goes on, it sometimes seems harder, as we go on with daily life with out Micah. Taking care of him for 4 years and being with him almost all the time was such a blessing. I do not regret any of it. I am so thankful for all the years I had with him at home. I am so thankful that I home schooled him and continued to do so till the end. I have a rich treasure of memories because I was at home with him. To all you BMT parents and children,( really all you parents and children) treasure those special times together. If you can not go out in public or can’t go back to school, etc., be thankful for your special times together with your family. God is giving you a gift. Thank Him for each and every day, hour and minute. I have no regrets. That was one thing that was on my mind a lot those last several months, to not have regrets. I didn’t want to regret that I said or did something that I would wish I didn’t, and I didn’t want to regret not doing or saying something. Now, I want to continue this with all the people in my life, like my husband and my children and family and friends. Our time here is short for everyone when you compare it to eternity. None of us know just how long or short a time we have. 1 Cor 10:31 Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.
Micah was so sweet to be with. I have heard it said that when you suffer, the real you comes out. That is a scary thought when I think about how much is in my own heart that needs cleansing. Yet, I feel that the more Micah suffered, the sweeter he got. The reason he got sweeter is because God’s Word was precious to him. C.H. Spurgeon said, “When a true child of God is in trouble, the Bible becomes precious because in the text there are circumstances connected with God’s dealing. I think you will find that tested saints are biblical saints. In summer weather we delight in praise choruses. But in winter storms, we fly to the Psalm. Lukewarm Christians quote Dickens or George Eliot. But God’s afflicted quote David or Job…Give me a faith that loves the Scripture. “faith comes from hearing, and hearing by the word of God.” ( Rom. 10:17) true faith always loves the Word from which it springs. True faith feeds and grows on the Word. As people criticize the Scriptures, they begin to doubt the authenticity of this and that. They move out of the latitude of that which loves a warm climate and into a region of criticism that is as cold as the polar seas. The faith of God’s elect clings to God and has a reverence for His Word. “Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.” ( Matt. 4:4).
I have been enjoying reading my old journals, and thinking about some special memories I have of Micah. Micah was always tender towards younger children, and a servant. When his younger sister, Hannah, was one, Micah used to love to take care of her and pull her in the wagon. I wrote in my journal, that he treated Hannah like a Princess. This attitude towards young children continued and was very evident in the way he loved and took care of Lydia his last year of life. Micah also had a gift of being a servant. He loved to clean and help around the house, like when he said he would rather clean all day and not do school. ( ha ha) He also knew and remembered peoples likes and dislikes. No matter how bad Micah felt, he would find a way to serve. One time, about a year and a half into treatment, when Micah was 13 years old, Mark and the older two boys were on a mission trip. I decided to bring the other children swimming, but it was late in the day. Micah said he would stay home and fix dinner for us. He was insistent that we go and have fun. So we did, and came back to a delicious meal. Also during that same time while Mark was away, our 15 passenger van got a flat tire. Well, this was the only vehicle I had and I had no idea how to change a tire on this big heavy van. So I began calling Granddaddy, and the neighbors, but no one was home except, the boy next door, who had never changed a tire, and a lady down the street, who offered to help me figure it out. In the meantime, Micah was reading the car manual, (something he liked to do) and had then proceeded to start changing the tire. Our neighbor, Andrew, came over to help, and by the time the lady down the street came, the two of them had already finished changing the tire. What a blessing it was. During that same trip, Micah cut the grass, helped paint three rooms, and took care of the house, like locking up. He was “the man of the house.”
Months ago when things started getting harder for Micah and the chance of survival was lower, I wondered if the Lord was going to give us a glimpse of heaven. I knew it would be wonderful, but it really wasn’t what I wanted right now! At least I didn’t want Micah to die. I felt that we would see how beautiful heaven is to the one who dies in Christ. What could be more wonderful than to be here in your sick bed, and then to go directly into the arms of your loving Savior Jesus Christ. As the days got closer, Micah got closer to the Lord. He longed to be in the arms of his Savior. He loved to read the Word of God and have it read to him. He loved to worship the Lord. It was a sweet time of fellowship with, Micah, and our family and friends and the Lord during the last 2 months and then the last 10 days of his life. I feel like we got a glimpse of heaven then. It was so sweet to be with friends and family some whom we hadn’t known very long and some whom we hadn’t seen in a long time, but who knew Micah when he was a baby and who loved him and us. The prayers and fasting of the saints was also very precious to us. One of the things Micah wrote in his journal 1 ½ years ago was that the Lord showed him that since Jesus was in his heart, He can hear Micah’s prayers. So Micah would imagine Jesus in front of him when he prayed and they would talk face to face. Now, Micah is speaking face to face with Jesus. He is hearing God speak His Word to him face to face. Not long after writing that, he wrote, “God is enough for me” In another book, where Micah wrote songs and poetry, I found this;
Hold me close to Your side
Hold me there till I die
I will follow Your lead.
Jesus, You’re all I need.
This was all written about the time that Micah’s leukemia relapsed.
Is Jesus all you need. Is God enough for you? Are you looking forward to being in the arms of Jesus in heaven for all of eternity? I am more than I have ever before. I want the kind of closeness to Jesus that I believe Micah had. Because Jesus was so close to him, he was able to cling to the Lord and receive all the grace he needed for the suffering here on earth. He was also able to suffer with a sweet fragrance coming out of him because the Lord was in him. Micah had an eternal vision.
1 Cor 13:11-13
11 When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. 12 For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.
13 And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
Here is part of Matthew Henry's Commentary on 1 Cor 13:11-12
2. Things are all dark and confused now, in comparison of what they will be hereafter: Now we see through a glass darkly (ev ainigmati, in a riddle), then face to face; now we know in part, but then we shall know as we are known….. We are known to him by mere inspection; he turns his eye towards us, and sees and searches us throughout. We shall then fix our eye on him, and see him as he is, 1 John 3:2. We shall know how we are known, enter into all the mysteries of divine love and grace. O glorious change! To pass from darkness to light, from clouds to the clear sunshine of our Saviour's face, and in God's own light to see light! Ps 36:9. Note, It is the light of heaven only that will remove all clouds and darkness from the face of God. It is at best but twilight while we are in this world; there it will be perfect and eternal day.
Why is heaven such a wonderful place where I long to be and that Micah longed to be? It is because Jesus is there and we will see Him face to face. For now, while I am here and go through sorrow and suffering and grief, I will hold onto Jesus and cling to Him. Losing Micah is the hardest thing I have ever had to suffer. My heart is broken and
3 I am weary with my crying;
My throat is dry;
My eyes fail while I wait for my God. (Ps 69:3)
I would not be able to bear this loss of Micah if it were not for my beautiful Savior Jesus Christ. I will hold onto hope as Micah encouraged us to do in a line from a song he left behind for Mark and I;
Let Joy be the strength in your song
Don’t let sorrow take you just cause I am gone
Remember you’ll see me again
So hold onto hope until then
Holding on to Hope,
Love, Laura
Tuesday, January 17, 2006 8:04 PM CST
January 17, 2006
Today is one month since Micah went home to be with the Lord in heaven. To the Christian, the one who has put their trust and belief in the life and work of Jesus Christ, when their body dies, they go right into the arms of Jesus. We are thankful to the Lord for the great work He did in Micah while he was here on the earth and for Micah’s testimony of the goodness and faithfulness of the Lord.
I praise you Father for the life of my son, Micah Daniel Leake. He was a wonderful gift from You. We are so thankful that Micah is now forever with Jesus, the One he loved most of all.
We are still missing Micah very much, and some days are harder than others. It is hard to live each day without him here.
Prov 12:28
28 In the way of righteousness is life,
And in its pathway there is no death.
John 8:51
51 Most assuredly, I say to you, if anyone keeps My word he shall never see death."
I am so thankful that Micah led a triumphant life in Christ and was the fragrance of Christ. When Micah was admitted to the hospital this last time before he died, we talked about different scriptures that had to do with suffering .One of these scriptures was;
Rev 2:10
10 Do not fear any of those things which you are about to suffer. Indeed, the devil is about to throw some of you into prison, that you may be tested, and you will have tribulation ten days. Be faithful until death, and I will give you the crown of life.
We talked about how, if God was calling him to suffer, Micah does not need to fear because God will give him the grace to suffer and that He will help Micah to be faithful, even unto death if that was God’s will. When I look back on this scripture and think about Micah’s last time of suffering in the hospital, I can see how Micah was faithful. It is also interesting that Micah was in the hospital for ten days before he died. I remember when he was first admitted this last time with such difficulty breathing. We did not know if he would make it through the night. It was hard to see him suffer. When I read this scripture, I thought, Lord, please help him. I hope he does not have to suffer ten days! Yet that is how long he was in the hospital before he died. Of course my prayer was that God would heal him, but that was not God’s plan, and I am so thankful for those last ten days the Lord gave Micah and us together. They were very precious days and we have special memories of things we did and said during that time. I do believe that when Micah died, he heard, “Well done my good and faithful servant!” and Micah received the crown of life.
As we all grieve the loss of Micah we continue on in the things the Lord has for us who remain here on earth. After 4 years of battling leukemia with Micah there are many things in our family that need a lot of attention because they have been neglected and broken. It is also a time of rebuilding for our family.
Isa 61:4-7
4 And they shall rebuild the old ruins,They shall raise up the former desolations,And they shall repair the ruined cities,The desolations of many generations.
Please pray for our family that the Lord would strengthen and rebuild our family in the places that have been broken, and that He would comfort us and help each one of us individually. We each have particular ways in which this time is hard. My prayer for me and Mark and our family, is that we would live the rest of our days on this earth, faithful to God and glorifying Him in all we do until we die, so we too will hear those words. “Well done, my good and faithful servant.” And that we would receive the crown of life.
We are so grateful for your calls and cards and e-mails and your continued
prayers and support.
Love, Laura, Mark and family
Wednesday, January 4, 2006 10:54 AM EST
1-04-05
Happy New Years!
Thank you to all who gave so much food and Christmas gifts for our family. It was such a blessing to have the gifts to give to the children, even though there was no time for us to shop. God is so faithful to provide. The children were very happy with their gifts. Our Christmas dinner was fabulous, thanks to Marg, Brenda, and Rhonda. We appreciate the generosity of all who gave in any way.
I was going through some of Micah’s things and started looking at all the cards he kept from the past 4 years after being diagnosed with leukemia. It made me appreciate and be so thankful for all Micah’s friends and family and caregivers. I was reading his journal and he was so blessed by the cards and visits, from the youngest to the oldest. Micah would really look forward with excitement and anticipation to each visit. His cards were a treasure. He kept every one and would often look over them several times. Thank you for being a friend to Micah. I am so thankful for those who came and sang and worshipped and prayed and visited during his last days on earth. I am so thankful to all the nurses and doctors and other staff at Baptist Hospital and Duke Hospital, who loved us and treated us with compassion as if we were family. I know that it helped Micah and encouraged him. He felt loved by so many people. The songs he left behind, talk much of the love and compassion and care people had for him. I know he was touched to tears sometimes at peoples’ kindness.
We are all doing well in the Lord. God is faithful, and merciful and good. Although this is the hardest thing we have ever gone through, to lose Micah, we can honestly say, ‘it is well with my soul’. We are really missing Micah. Some times are harder than others. It doesn’t take much to spark a memory and bring a flow of tears and grief. We are still being challenged by Micah’s example of love and care for people and the way he didn’t complain. From the very beginning, Micah was so stoic and strong. No matter what, if you asked how he was doing, he would say, fine, and smile, even in the midst of the chills and fever of ‘amphaterrible’, the nick name for the dreaded antifungal medicine. He continued joking, teasing, and writing funny stories on his online web, throughout his journey through suffering. Most people who read his xanga site( www.xanga.com/meoughtagetamiata ) would never know he was going through all he was.
Here is an allegory he wrote about a bone marrow transplant.
Micah writes on Sunday, July 17,2005. "Alright folks, Jesse said we should post our testimonies so here's one.
When I was still very young I was told that I had a deadly disease that was simply named The Death Disease. Ever since I was born I had had it. They said that it was so simple yet extremely dangerous- No one had lived who had not received the right medical procedure. They said the only way I could live was to have a bone marrow transplant.
"What is that?" I asked. They told me that it was a long process that would continue until I left this earth. "First you'll go through what's called TBI- Total Body Ignominy. This can cause much suffering but is the only way to survive. Actually, though, it is really one of the simplest parts- it's simply realizing that you need the help of this transplant. Some people, when they hear of the side effects, say that it isn't worth the pain and they can find an easier way. Then they go off and try using Good Works Juice or other substitutes- they die slow painful deaths."
Then they told me the next step- the transplant. They said it was a simple process of someone who had perfect marrow giving some of theirs to me. "It's not quite as easy as it sounds though," they said. "The fact is there has only been one man who has had this perfect marrow. When he told us that he had it people began to research the matter to see if he was right. It didn't take long for most of them know that He was. There was one problem though- there would be no way to get enough of this marrow for everyone without him dying. Even though He knew of the pain the man said He was willing to do it because of his love. So then began His great suffering. They stabbed him with needles until He was barely alive. Then once He was dead they took a huge needle and stabbed Him in the side. Now they had enough."
So then they asked me if wanted to do the transplant or if I thought there was a better way. I was shocked! Killing a perfect man so that a bunch of diseased people could live?! Of course I would accept it. What cruelty and thoughtlessness it would be to say you didn't want it! Someone going through unbelievable pain and death to give me this great gift and then me throwing it into the trash!! But then I realized how stupid it might look to others to say I couldn't live without help. They would think I was a wimp!
"Now there are side effects to the transplant," they continued. "You will have much suffering while you're on earth and you won't be able to do all the fun things the still diseased people are doing. And you will also experience what's called GvH- God vs. Human. Although this helps destroy The Death disease, it can be painfully hard as it battles at the disease that you will find hard to leave behind."
After I heard all this I began to think that there must be an easier way. What's the use?
"But there is an exciting part. The donor’s blood proved more powerful then death and after three days He was back alive. And since He loved the people so much he decided to go to His home far away and build mansions for all the people who accepted his blood. Once it comes time to leave this earth anyone who has 100 percent donor cells can move into one of these houses."
Now it was starting to sound better, I thought. And I thought of this man who loved so much that he had died for me, and I almost forgot about all the suffering there would be for those who accepted His gift.
Not your typical one but it should count. I got the idea this morning and just kinda typed it all up like that so it may not be up to par."
God bless you all with a New Year full of the love and forgiveness of our Lord, Jesus Christ, who came to live and die and rise again, so whoever accepts Him as their Lord and Savior could live eternally with Him.
Love, Laura, Mark and family
Saturday, December 24, 2005 1:52 PM CST
Dear Friends and family,
Words can not express the thanks we have in our hearts for you all. God has blessed us so much with your love and kindness. Thank you to all who came to the memorial service on Thursday. Thanks to all who helped in preparing, with food, music, decorating, displaying Micah’s things, and the pictures and shadow box. Thank you to all who prayed for the Lord’s blessing on that day and for Him to guide us in all the details. God really did use the whole body to bring it all together in such a beautiful way. I had hoped to have a nice birthday party for Micah, and in a sense we did. I know Micah would have loved his birthday party. Micah would have loved the time of worship and all that was said and done and of course all the food. He would have wanted God to be glorified and for our attention to be on the Lord instead of himself. Thank you to all of you who shared memories of Micah or how the Lord has touched you through Micah.
We would love to hear from anyone that would like to share with us through a letter or e-mail how the Lord has blessed you through this trial, or in the memorial service or any memories of Micah at all. I know there were many people who were not able to come to the memorial service and many who came but for whatever reason were not able to share their thoughts. It would be such a blessing to us to hear from you, even if it is only a very small thing. Also, if you know of anyone who may have a memory but not see this, would you please pass on to them this request for their memories of Micah.
We love you all so much and are so thankful to each and every one of you who has gone through this with us. I know your prayers were not in vain. We had prayed from the beginning that God would be glorified and that Micah and each of us would be drawn into a closer, deeper, more intimate relationship with the Lord. This has happened and I know the Lord is not finished yet. He will continue to perfect that which He has started in us. Mark and I have seen the Lord drawing Micah closer to Him and have heard Micah’s confession of that. Last night we found his journal and read it. We were so blessed and encouraged at how the Lord has been speaking to him in such a sweet intimate way for a long time. One entry he simply wrote, “God is enough for me”. At the time Micah relapsed the first time, he wrote on 9-7-04, “It doesn’t matter what happens down here on earth since most of my life I’ll be in heaven. Jesus said, ‘Why are you troubled and why do doubts arise in your heart?’” Matt. 24:38.” On 9-14-04, Micah wrote, “‘It’s Your kindness that leads to repentance’. Me getting a relapse is your kindness in that it leads to repentance. ‘It’s your mercy that brings me here to Your throne of grace.’ When I’ve repented and have been forgiven, You give grace: You either heal me miraculously (please do) or You give grace to go through suffering.”
All this was written at a very difficult time, when Micah was only 14 years old. Micah continued to trust in the Lord no matter what happened. This is why he had such peace and did not complain in his suffering. God was pouring out His grace and mercy on Micah. It was God alone who could do this. Yes, as Micah said, God is enough for him and for us. Are you going through a time of suffering? Is there brokenness in your life? God wants to heal you and comfort you and help you. If you have never put your trust in the Lord Jesus, to save you from your sins and give you eternal life, won’t you consider God’s faithfulness and love and grace and mercy that He has poured out on Micah and our family and give your heart to the Only One that can help? May you find Jesus this Christmas, to be your Lord and Savior, your all in all, to be enough for you.
One of Micah’s favorite scriptures:
Isa 61:1-3
"The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon Me, Because the LORD has anointed Me to preach good tidings to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound; to proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD, And the day of vengeance of our God; To comfort all who mourn, 3 To console those who mourn in Zion, To give them beauty for ashes, The oil of joy for mourning, The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; That they may be called trees of righteousness, The planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified."
Here are the words to the song Micah wrote and sang and played on the recording during the picture presentation about his love for the Lord.
You already know what you've meant to me
You know more then I of my thoughts of you
But let me try now to express my love
To pour out my heart with the limit of words
The comfort you gave is beyond my song
To tell of your mercy its worthless to try
To express how you've loved me I'd run out of time
If there's words that can tell You they're above my mind
So I'll love You from deep inside
The most precious of thoughts in my heart will hide
So whenever you look at my heart
You'll see a fullness of Love that won't depart
What can I say of the peace that crushed doubt
And the grace I've received is past finding out
Since when You called me to enter your rest
My heart has to speak cause my mouth can't express
You're a mystery to me that I cannot solve
An unsearchable tower that will never fall
The highest below and the lowest above
Will never attain the knowledge of your love
by Micah Leake
We pray you will enjoy this Christmas season, especially as you consider God's great love, shown so vividly in the birth of His Son, who gave His life for us.
Love,
Laura, Mark and family
Friday, December 2, 2005 6:52 PM CST
Hey guys- Just wanted to thank you all so much your love and prayers and all that ya'll write in the guest book. You're such a blessing. Love- Micah
Monday, December 19, 2005 9:14 PM CST
Dear friends,
Here is the obituary that will appear in the Greensboro and Burlington papers on Tuesday. We love you all and thank you for the blessing you are to us.
God bless you,
Mark, Laura and family
Micah Daniel Leake, 15, son of Mark and Laura Leake of Staley, NC died Saturday at Baptist Hospital, after a 4 year battle with leukemia. Micah loved the Lord Jesus and his short life brought many closer to Him. He was a wonderful son, brother, friend and worshipper of God. In addition to his parents, he left behind 3 brothers and 5 sisters. A memorial service will be held at Antioch Community Church at 1600 Powerline Rd in Elon, NC at 4:00 PM on Thursday. A time of visitation will follow from 6:30 to 7:30 at the church. In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to Samaritan’s Purse, Antioch Community Church music ministry, or the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.
Friday, December 2, 2005 6:52 PM CST
Hey guys- Just wanted to thank you all so much your love and prayers and all that ya'll write in the guest book. You're such a blessing. Love- Micah
Saturday, December 17, 2005 8:25 PM CST
Dear friends, family, brothers and sisters in Christ,
Our Lord is sweet and always good, and we rejoice that Micah's suffering is over and he's gone to enjoy the presence of his Lord forever. Still, we're experiencing the sorrow of his absence from us. We've sure been blessed by him for nearly sixteen years. How good God is to give us those years with him. We are thankful to God who comforts the brokenhearted and makes known the sufficiency of His grace in difficult times. He is glorious and wonderful and our hearts are full of adoration to Him even as we mourn our loss. Thank you for your prayers, your friendship, your support, your understanding, your kindness. Your steadfast love (it's endured for an extended time) has pictured for us the perfect steadfast love of our Heavenly Father that never ceases. After a rough night, Micah died at about 9:20 this morning (Saturday 12/17/05). Laura and I were together with him at that time so we're very thankful for that. Jesse came home from college Thursday and got to spend time with Micah yesterday. For all of us, our times with Micah recently have been so special. We can see God's hand in the timing of things.
Details for a memorial service have not yet been finalized, but we will make you aware as they are.
Heb 11:13-16
These all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off were assured of them, embraced them and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth. For those who say such things declare plainly that they seek a homeland. And truly if they had called to mind that country from which they had come out, they would have had opportunity to return. But now they desire a better, that is, a heavenly country. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for He has prepared a city for them.
May we all grow in our desire for life eternal in the glorious presence of our great God and King.
Let God be magnified,
Mark, Laura and family
Friday, December 2, 2005 6:52 PM CST
Hey guys- Just wanted to thank you all so much your love and prayers and all that ya'll write in the guest book. You're such a blessing. Love- Micah
Wednesday, December 14, 2005 9:14 PM CST
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Dear Loved Ones,
Thank you for your steadfast and heartfelt prayers and petitions for Micah. God has done amazing things and we are so thankful. His breathing is better, but he is still on too much oxygen to be able to go home. Yesterday Micah got in the wheel chair and we took him for a ride in the hospital. It was a blessing to see the pretty decorations and trees. We went to the cafeteria and he got chicken and fries and tea. It was very refreshing to get out of the room.
The big prayer need right now, is that God would restore strength and feeling to Micah's left side and his left arm and hand in particular. He has slowly been having a loss of feeling and coordination his left side. This is frustrating to him and it makes it harder for him to do simple things. He is trying to regain strength with a therapy ball. He also continues to have headaches, which are relieved with Tylenol.
As Micah loses so many things through his suffering, like the feeling in his hand and the ability to play guitar, I think of this scripture.
Phil 3:7-11
7 But what things were gain to me, these I have counted loss for Christ. 8 Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ 9 and be found in Him, not having my own righteousness, which is from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which is from God by faith; 10 that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death, 11 if, by any means, I may attain to the resurrection from the dead.
Nothing is better than to know Christ Jesus our Lord, and to have His righteousness, through faith in Christ and the work He did on the cross for us. I am so thankful that Micah knows and believes in Jesus and has eternal life, and that even in the midst of his suffering, he continues to proclaim that God has been and is so good to him.
We love you all so much and are so glad to be part of the body of Christ. You can not know how much your love and prayers mean to us.
God is good.
Love, Laura, Mark, Micah and family
Friday, December 2, 2005 6:52 PM CST
Hey guys- Just wanted to thank you all so much your love and prayers and all that ya'll write in the guest book. You're such a blessing. Love- Micah
Monday, December 12, 2005 9:39 PM CST
December 12, 2005
Thank you so much for your prayers. Micah continues to improve. Saturday night he ate something for the first time in several days. He has continued to eat a little every day since. He has also not had a fever in several days. Although Micah is very weak and it was exhausting, he was able to get out of the bed yesterday and today very briefly. His breathing continues to be easier and he can go short periods of time without the oxygen. He does tire very easily, and needs to rest a lot but he seems peaceful, and continues to smile. It has been such a blessing for Micah to be feeling better and breathing better. We have been able to have some good times together, talking and enjoying each other, with family and friends. We were thankful that Jesse could come for the day to visit with Micah yesterday. These times together are so precious and we thank the Lord for every minute. We know that Micah's days are all in the Lord's hands.
Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy -- meditate on these things. 9 The things which you learned and received and heard and saw in me, these do, and the God of peace will be with you.
We are so grateful for your love and prayers. They are so needed and appreciated.
Love, Laura, Mark, Micah and family
Friday, December 2, 2005 6:52 PM CST
Hey guys- Just wanted to thank you all so much your love and prayers and all that ya'll write in the guest book. You're such a blessing. Love- Micah
Saturday, December 10, 2005 10:49 PM CST
December 10, 2005
Dear Faithful friends, family and prayer warriors,
Micah was admitted to the hospital on Wed, with difficulty breathing, fever and pain. Wed. and Wed. night his breathing continued to get worse, his pain increased, and he was less often awake and alert. By Thursday he began to breathe more easily, his heart rate and his breathing went back to normal, He is on oxygen and is very weak, but he is much more at peace. The pain is under control, and he is resting well and alert more during the day and sleeping well at night. The doctors expect that his time is short. Please pray for God to do a miracle and for the Lord's grace and strength for Micah and our family. Pray especially for Micah to have peace and not to fear or panic. It is very scary not to be able to breathe easily. Thank you so much for all the ways you have helped us during this time. We are so blessed to have so many people that love us, and show us the love of Jesus in tangible individual ways. Through all this, God has shown Himself to be so good to us. We appreciate and need your prayers, both for us and for the doctors, nurses and hospital staff.
We are trusting God that His will be done.
He is faithful.
With much love,
Laura, Mark,Micah and family
1 Cor 12:12-27
For as the body is one and has many members, but all the members of that one body, being many, are one body, so also is Christ. 13 For by one Spirit we were all baptized into one body -- whether Jews or Greeks, whether slaves or free -- and have all been made to drink into one Spirit. 14 For in fact the body is not one member but many.
15 If the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I am not of the body," is it therefore not of the body? 16 And if the ear should say, "Because I am not an eye, I am not of the body," is it therefore not of the body? 17 If the whole body were an eye, where would be the hearing? If the whole were hearing, where would be the smelling? 18 But now God has set the members, each one of them, in the body just as He pleased. 19 And if they were all one member, where would the body be?
20 But now indeed there are many members, yet one body. 21 And the eye cannot say to the hand, "I have no need of you"; nor again the head to the feet, "I have no need of you." 22 No, much rather, those members of the body which seem to be weaker are necessary. 23 And those members of the body which we think to be less honorable, on these we bestow greater honor; and our unpresentable parts have greater modesty, 24 but our presentable parts have no need. But God composed the body, having given greater honor to that part which lacks it, 25 that there should be no schism in the body, but that the members should have the same care for one another. 26 And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; or if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it. 27 Now you are the body of Christ, and members individually.
Friday, December 2, 2005 6:52 PM CST
Hey guys- Just wanted to thank you all so much your love and prayers and all that ya'll write in the guest book. You're such a blessing. Love- Micah
Monday, December 5, 2005 8:21 PM CST
Caringbrdige
Monday, December 05, 2005
Dear friends and family,
Thank you so much for your prayers. Starting last Wed. Micah began to have some really good days where he felt good and had energy and didn't have a fever. I know it is because of your prayers. God has really blessed him and we are so thankful to the Lord for these good days. Micah continues to need blood and platelets about three times a week. This morning though he woke up at 4:00 with a headache and then later got a fever and a neckache. His blood pressure continues to be high. His temp was up to 104 this evening. Please pray for his fever to go down and for the pain in his head and neck to stop. Also please pray for his blood pressure to not get too high and cause any serious problems. Please continue to pray that Micah's breathing would be easier, and that God would heal him of leukemia. Please pray for the grace of God to sustain Micah and our family, and for God to fill Micah with His peace and joy. Please pray for God to give him fruitful and fulfilling things to occupy his time with and to glorify God each day.
1 Peter 1:3-9
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His abundant mercy has begotten us again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4 to an inheritance incorruptible and undefiled and that does not fade away, reserved in heaven for you, 5 who are kept by the power of God through faith for salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.
May the Lord Jesus Christ bless you with the knowledge of His saving grace.
Love, Laura and Mark
Friday, December 2, 2005 6:52 PM CST
Hey guys- Just wanted to thank you all so much your love and prayers and all that ya'll write in the guest book. You're such a blessing. Love- Micah
Friday, December 2, 2005 6:52 PM CST
Hey guys- Just wanted to thank you all so much your love and prayers and all that ya'll write in the guest book. You're such a blessing. Love- Micah
Monday, November 28, 2005 11:54 PM EST
Mark and I had wanted to have a little family vacation while all the children were home for Thanksgiving. When Micah began to feel worse, with fever and pain, we thought it wouldn't be possible, but in the spur of the moment the Lord worked out all the details for us to go to the beach for a few days. Thank you so much to all those that made the trip possible. Thanks to Duke transplant team for help with expenses, friends who offered their home and those who gave financially. Thanks to the staff at Baptist for all you love and care, and for working with us to get Micah home and able to travel. We thank the Lord for His blessing on Micah to feel well enough to go and to do well while we were there and to do well traveling. It was a very restful time. We enjoyed being together worshipping the Lord, walking on the beach, eating out and shopping. Saturday was an especially nice day to be on the beach and Micah was able to sit on the beach and enjoy the ocean. I will try to post some pictures soon. We will all have some great memories of our time together. When we all shared what we were thankful for I think all of us were thankful to be together at the beach. Micah was thankful for Lydia, who is happy all the time and brings so much joy to our lives. She is a gift from the Lord in His perfect timing, just as all of our children are.
Ps 127:3 Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD,
The fruit of the womb is a reward.
4 Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,
So are the children of one's youth.
5 Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them;
They shall not be ashamed,
But shall speak with their enemies in the gate.
Yesterday we had a wonderful time of worship and fellowship, and celebrating Jesse's birthday, with some youth and their parents at our house. I know God was glorified. Thanks to all who came. We were so blessed. Even though it was a long day for Micah, he said he felt better that evening. Worship really ministers to Micah and all of us. I think the voices of the youth worshiping will always stay in my heart and mind. God is so good.
Today Micah's hemoglobin was down to 6.1 and his platelets down to 14. He was very tired and weak and in more pain. His breathing has become very labored and the mucus from his lungs is very thick and makes it painful and hard to breath, and also makes him nauseated. Please pray for his lungs and breathing. With the mucus and pain, it is getting hard for him to eat and drink. Please pray for him to be able to keep down some nourishment. Micah has also continued to have a fever on and off. Please pray for the fever to break and for the Lord to heal him.
We had decided that he should spend the night tonight at the hospital since it was late when we got there and would take a long time to get the blood products. This was a good decision. The doctors are working with us to adjust his medicine to help with various problems he has been having. This also gives them a chance to monitor him. He will most likely need more blood and platelets tomorrow and then we should be able to go home.
Num 6:24-26
4 "The LORD bless you and keep you;
25 The LORD make His face shine upon you,
And be gracious to you;
26 The LORD lift up His countenance upon you,
And give you peace."'
Love, Laura,and Mark and family.
Sunday, November 20, 2005 9:31 PM CST
Dear Friends and Family,
Thank you for crying out to the Lord for Micah. He came home from Baptist Hospital last Monday night. The cellulitis is completely healed. We praise God for that! He continues to have high blood pressure, probably due to the leukemia affecting his kidneys. His lungs have a lot of fluid and his spleen and liver are enlarged. Most of his pain is in his abdomen and chest. This is mostly being controlled with the fentanyl patch. He is very fatigued and sleeps a lot. Although Micah is short of breath, he does not use the oxygen very much. He is eating pretty well, and able to walk around some including going up and down stairs. The hospice nurse comes out a couple times a week for now, and he goes to the hospital for blood products as needed (typically twice a week). He is especially needing a lot of platelets. We had to go to the hospital today because it became obvious he needed them. We would appreciate your prayers that he would not have trouble with bleeding. He has had some blood blisters in his mouth that have given him some trouble.
Please pray for:
1. For complete healing from the leukemia and complete restoration to good health.
2. Protection from any infections (bacterial and fungal).
3. Healing for his kidneys.
4. For the blood pressure to go down and stabilize.
5. That he would be able to breath well, that the fluid would clear from his lungs and that he would get sufficient oxygen.
6. Protection from problems with bleeding.
7. For continued pain control.
8. For strength and alertness.
9. For the continued blessing of us all being home instead of at the hospital.
10. Wisdom for all the doctors and nurses and for strength and grace in their lives.
11. For Micah ( and all of us) to have the peace of the Lord, protection from discouragement, and to glorify Him and live each day laying up treasures in heaven.
12. Peace, grace and joy in the presence of the Lord for each of the children, including Micah and for Mark and Laura.
Isaiah 42:5-9
5 Thus says God the LORD,
Who created the heavens and stretched them out,
Who spread forth the earth and that which comes from it,
Who gives breath to the people on it,
And spirit to those who walk on it:
6 "I, the LORD, have called You in righteousness,
And will hold Your hand;
I will keep You and give You as a covenant to the people,
As a light to the Gentiles,
7 To open blind eyes,
To bring out prisoners from the prison,
Those who sit in darkness from the prison house.
8 I am the LORD, that is My name;
And My glory I will not give to another,
Nor My praise to carved images.
9 Behold, the former things have come to pass,
And new things I declare;
Before they spring forth I tell you of them."
NKJV
All praise to our mighty God!
God bless you.
Laura and Mark and family
Monday, November 7, 2005 9:45 PM CST
Dear Friends and Family,
Thank you for crying out to the Lord for Micah. He is still at Baptist Hospital with the original infection which they say is cellulites. He continues to have fever, high blood pressure,( which may be caused by a problem with his kidneys), pain, swelling, and infection. He had a CT scan today which showed fluid around the lungs and some slight area of infection in the lungs, and an enlarged spleen.They also started him on an antifungal medicine. They are trying a new pain medicine which is a patch on his arm and slowly releases the medicine. This will give him a continued does but not high doses. They hope to control the pain better this way. It is also something he can use easily at home.
Please pray for:
1.The infections( bacterial and fungal if there is any) on his ear and face, lungs and anywhere else, to clear up.
2. Healing for his kidneys.
3. For the blood pressure to go down and stabilize.
4. For his fevers to stop .
5. For his pain to stop.
6. For strength and alertness.
7. For things to stabilize in order to go home and for us to get adjusted to taking care of Micah at home with the help of Hospice. Wisdom as to when to bring Micah home.
8. Wisdom for all the doctors and nurses and for strength and grace in their lives.
9. For Micah ( and all of us) to have the peace of the Lord and to glorify Him and live each day laying up treasures in heaven.
10. Peace, grace and joy in the presence of the Lord for each of the children, including Micah and for Mark and Laura.
Phil 1:21-26
21 For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain. 22 But if I live on in the flesh, this will mean fruit from my labor; yet what I shall choose I cannot tell. 23 For I am hard-pressed between the two, having a desire to depart and be with Christ, which is far better. 24 Nevertheless to remain in the flesh is more needful for you. 25 And being confident of this, I know that I shall remain and continue with you all for your progress and joy of faith, 26 that your rejoicing for me may be more abundant in Jesus Christ by my coming to you again.
Love and enjoy your children and live for Jesus each and every day the Lord gives you. He is our only hope and strength. He loves us so much!!!
God bless you.
Laura and Mark and family
Saturday, November 5, 2005 9:56 AM CST
Dear Friends,
Please cry out to the Lord for Micah. He's having a pretty rough time. Micah was admitted to Baptist hospital Thursday morning with fever and an infection on his ear. The infection has spread to his face and neck on the right side. He is in a lot of pain and needing a lot of pain medicine. Because Micah has a very low immune system, this infection is life threatening. His blood pressure is high, one reason for that could be the affect the leukemia is having on his liver, spleen and kidneys. He is having some bleeding under the skin. He has vomited a couple of times. And they continue to give a good bit of medicine to control pain. His temperature was down some yesterday, but is up again today.
We ask for the Lord’s healing touch on Micah’s body and that he would have comfort and joy in the Lord’s presence. Also pray for comfort, strength and a heart full of faith for Laura. This time is pretty hard on her. I will be in the hospital with Micah over the weekend.
God is faithful and we continue to grow in our trust and love for Him. To Him belongs all the glory.
God bless you,
Mark
Wednesday, November 2, 2005 10:13 PM CST
Dear Friends,
Thank you all for your prayers and encouragement. Thank you to TNT and so many others for all words of encouragement on our caringbridge site. What a blessing it was to get so many messages and to see how God is moving in the hearts of so many people everywhere to pray for us and encourage us. God has been very good to us. This has been an a time to press into the Lord more than ever.
Tonight Micah got a fever of 102. The doctor said we could wait till tomorrow to come in. Please pray that the fever would go down and that the Lord would protect him from any serious infection.
I have not updated, because things have not changed too much. The prognosis medically is still very grim, but there are some medical decisions we have to make. Our hope is still in the Lord who made heaven and earth and by His power raised Jesus Christ from the dead. We know that nothing is too difficult for Him. We also know that Micah's life is safely in the Lord's hands and Micah's days will be all that God has ordained for them to be.
Job 14:5
5 Since his days are determined,
The number of his months is with You;
You have appointed his limits, so that he cannot pass.
When you are sick with an illness that has no medical hope of recovery, you are more aware than ever, that today may be your last day. Yet none of us know whether or not we have tomorrow. Micah's desire is to live each day for the glory of God and to lay up treasures in heaven where moth and rust do not destroy. This is what we all desire.
Ps 90:12
2 So teach us to number our days,
That we may gain a heart of wisdom.
I have often thought of a parable that warns us that this life on earth is not where we should be storing up treasure for ourselves.
Luke 12:13-21
Then one from the crowd said to Him, "Teacher, tell my brother to divide the inheritance with me."
14 But He said to him, "Man, who made Me a judge or an arbitrator over you?" 15 And He said to them, "Take heed and beware of covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of the things he possesses."
16 Then He spoke a parable to them, saying: "The ground of a certain rich man yielded plentifully. 17 And he thought within himself, saying, 'What shall I do, since I have no room to store my crops?' 18 So he said, 'I will do this: I will pull down my barns and build greater, and there I will store all my crops and my goods. 19 And I will say to my soul,"Soul, you have many goods laid up for many years; take your ease; eat, drink, and be merry."' 20 But God said to him, 'Fool! This night your soul will be required of you; then whose will those things be which you have provided?'
21 "So is he who lays up treasure for himself, and is not rich toward God."
On Monday we went to Baptist for blood counts and platelets. It ended up taking half the day because Micah had a reaction from the platelets. After almost four years, this was the first time he had a reaction, which we are very thankful for. From now on he will need to be pretreated before getting platelets. Then we drove to Duke in the late afternoon for a social visit. It was great seeing some of the nurses, Dr. martin and other staff. They have been such a blessing to us. We also found out about a therapy that is a new consideration for us. It is called monoclonal antibody (MAb) therapy, which is a kind of treatment that is very different from chemotherapy. This is something that can be done now or later or not at all. It does not give much hope for a cure but can help slow down the leukemia. Please pray for the Lord to guide us and that we would be lead by His peace and not act out of fear or pressure. We really want to hear from God as to His will. There is a tendency in a situation like this, to grasp at straws, and run to this or that. I tend to want to hurry and do something. Mark and Micah are both much more calm and want to wait on the Lord for His timing and leading. They are satisfied to walk, while I want to run. I am so thankful for Mark and his example of resting in the Lord. I was encouraged today as I read in C.H. Spurgeons BESIDE STILL WATERS, to walk through the fire, not run. Spurgeon says,
" Believer, you will pass through the fire. But the Lord says that "when you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, nor shall the flame scorch you" (Is. 43:2). This verse implies that your march through the flames will be quiet, calm, and safe. There is no need to increase your usual pace. If I had to go through literal fire, I would want to run and leap, but spiritually we are to walk through the fire.
"There is a beautiful passage in the Psalter, " Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil" (Ps. 23:4). Walking is our pace; "whoever believes will not act hastily" ( Is. 28:16) but will walk even through the fire."
Thank you for your love and support and prayers. We continue to ask God for healing as we hide under His wings. Love, Laura
Ps 27:4-5
4 One thing I have desired of the LORD,
That will I seek:
That I may dwell in the house of the LORD
All the days of my life,
To behold the beauty of the LORD,
And to inquire in His temple.
5 For in the time of trouble
He shall hide me in His pavilion;
In the secret place of His tabernacle
He shall hide me;
He shall set me high upon a rock.
Monday, October 24, 2005 11:42PM EST
Thursday, we got the news from the doctor, that Micah now has 80% blasts. These were identified as leukemia cells. This means he is not in remission, and that all the chemotherapy that they have used has not been able to get Micah in remission. This of course was very hard news to hear, but the Lord has been gracious and He is our ever present help in trouble. At this point, the doctor has said there is nothing that they have confidence in medically that can get Micah in remission to even have a hope of a cure through a bone marrow transplant. The leukemia is apparently very resistant and continues to increase not only in numbers, but also in strength to resist any treatment that has been used to kill the cells. As Micah said that evening when we talked, either God will do a miracle and heal him, or he will go to heaven to be with the Lord. We are going to continue to be persistent in prayer, petition and fasting, asking God to do a miracle. God's Word and His Holy Spirit encourages us to do this. Sunday we had Micah anointed with oil and prayed for by the elders and the whole church.(James 5:14-15
14 Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. 15 And the prayer of faith will save the sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven.)
It was such a blessing and encouragement to be surrounded by so many people who love Micah and our family. The Lord is strengthening us for this battle. We know that God has the victory no matter what. If you have faith, please pray for God to do a miracle and heal Micah, where all the medical attempts have failed. God has been and always is our ultimate healer. He is Jehovah Rapha, The Lord who Heals. This afternoon we had a conference with the doctor. Please ask the Lord to give us wisdom and a clear word from Him and a direction as to what His will is for us at this time.
Continue to trust the Lord. He is Faithful and it is the Lord Himself whom we love and adore. We know He is wonderful and good all the time. Our love for Him does not depend on what He does, but who He is. We love you all and will be praying for you.
Ps 18:1-3
I will love You, O LORD, my strength.
2 The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer;
My God, my strength, in whom I will trust;
My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
3 I will call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised;
So shall I be saved from my enemies.
Love, Laura , Mark, Micah and family
Tuesday, October 18, 2005 7:54 AM EST
Dear Prayer Warriors,
I want to thank you for your prayers for Micah. He is doing very well. He has a little cold, but seems to be fighting it well. He is getting more strength also. We were able to take a day trip to the mountains with the family recently, for the first time in a long time. We took a moderate hike, but Micah did great. I know it is God's sustaining power giving him strength, and I thank you all for your prayers.
I want to ask specific prayer for Thursday of this week. Micah will have a bone marrow aspirate again. This will be an important determining test. Please pray that the blast cells will decrease from the last time when it was 12%, and that they will be less than 5%. This would be the best outcome and even though they have detected leukemia cells in his marrow recently, he would still be able to have another bone marrow transplant. This is the only hope of a cure, medically speaking. Please pray for divine intervention, for the Lord to reduce the number of blast cells.
Thanking God for each one of you., and for His goodness towards us,
Love, Laura and Mark
Phil 1:19 For I know that this will turn out for my deliverance through your prayer and the supply of the Spirit of Jesus Christ, 20 according to my earnest expectation and hope that in nothing I shall be ashamed, but with all boldness, as always, so now also Christ will be magnified in my body, whether by life or by death. 21 For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain.
Tuesday, October 11, 2005 9:07 PM EST
Dear Everyone
Thank you to all who have been praying for Micah. It is getting hard to update, for things are changing so fast.Yesterday I was told that Micah's bone marrow aspirate showed 12 % blast cells. In order to be in remission, they need to be 5% or less, so this was very disappointing. Today was more hopeful. We were told that the blast cells may not be leukemia cells, but just immature cells. Sometimes they see a lot of blast cells when the marrow is recovering and when you have been on neupogen, to bring up the white count like Micah has been. Another encouraging thing was that Micah's blood counts had all gone up, just since yesterday! The WBC was 2.0., hgb was 11.3, and platelets were 20. Next week if Micah's bone marrow recovers, they plan to do another BM aspirate and we should hopefully know by the end of the week if he is in remission. We would appreciate your prayers, that these blast cells would not be leukemia cells and that Micah would be in remission.
Today I brought Lydia and Priscilla to get blood work done as well as Micah, to send to Duke in preparation for the transplant. They will test Lydia's blood to see how she matches Micah. They will also be doing other testing on the blood to determine the best match for Micah. This was Lydia's first time having blood drawn and she was not happy about it.She started off just getting upset as they looked for a good spot, and put the tourniquet on. Then when they took the patch off where they had the numbing medicine she screamed. But she was just warming up. It took 4 sticks, one in each arm and one in each foot, to get enough blood and three people to hold her down. I have never heard her cry so much. It was hard for everyone. Micah stayed with us and helped hold her down and get supplies. He even got to draw out some of the blood. You need lots of hands to hold a strong healthy baby down! We are glad it is over and Lydia is just as happy as ever. She even let the doctor hold her and she cuddled up against him sucking her thumb. It was very sweet. Of course he didn't help get the blood, so I guess she thought he was safe! Priscilla did great with her labs. She is an old pro now. Of course Micah did great. The whole experience made me glad that Micah is as old as he is and that we don't have to hold him down. I don't think we could do it.
Thanks again for your prayers.
Love, Laura and Mark
Friday, October 7, 2005 11:42 AM EST
Hi everyone,
I just wanted to give a quick update. We praise the Lord that Micah is home as of last night. They did another bone marrow aspirate yesterday to see if he is in remission, and his bone marrow did not have enough cells to tell. What they saw looked good, but they will need to do some more extensive detailed testing to find out for sure. We will let you know when we find out. If Micah is in remission, we will be going to Duke for another transplant and living in Durham again, for at least three months.
Thank you so much for your prayers.
Love, Laura and Mark
Wednesday, October 5, 2005 8:09 AM CDT
Good morning friends and family,
I wanted to thank you again for your prayers. Micah continues to be without a fever. We praise God for that. His blood cells are staying about the same. They will need to go up before he can go home. Yet the doctor is encouraged that his bone marrow must be producing cells or he would not be staying the same and he would need to be transfused. His platelets dropped yesterday and if they don't go up today, he will need a platelets transfusion today. When his bone marrow is recovered they will do a bone marrow aspirate.
I wanted to tell you about the web site
for the radio station, WMAG. They had a promotional, Cure Kids Cancer Radiothon, at Brenner's Children's Hospital at Baptist, last weekend. Many families were interviewed including ours. It was a blessing to be able to share what God has been doing in our lives. We enjoyed meeting the crew at wmag. They are wonderful people and were a blessing to us and to Brenner's Children's Hospital, which benefits us! We thank the Lord for them. There are some pictures of Micah and one of Lydia in her stroller, in the photo gallery on their web site under the Cure Kids Cancer Radiothon photo gallery. Thank you WMAG for blessing all the families with children with cancer at Brenner's !
The sites are:
www.caringbridge.org/nc/micah78
http://www.wmagradio.com/cc-common/globalphotos.html?eventsection=&eventID=32115&first=0
Ps 5:11-12
11 But let all those rejoice who put their trust in You;
Let them ever shout for joy, because You defend them;
Let those also who love Your name
Be joyful in You.
12 For You, O LORD, will bless the righteous;
With favor You will surround him as with a shield.
God bless you all. Have a great day! Laura and Mark
Sunday, October 2, 2005 9:46 PM CDT
Dear Friends and Family,
Thank you so much for your prayers, fasting, concern and help in every way. As you know Micah was admitted into the hospital with a fever a week ago Saturday. He has had a fever ever since and the cultures grew three different bacteria's. The CT scans were all clear, none of the virus tests, or the fungal tests came back positive, which we are so thankful for. Today his temperature never got over 100. His wbc went up from 0.3 to 0.8.( normal is 4.0-9.0).
Micah has had to be supported with blood products since he relapsed, and especially since the last chemo treatment. He has been getting platelet transfusions at least twice a week, and blood transfusions at least once a week. Today his platelets went up from 19 to 23 on their own. ( normal is approx. 160- 300) His hgb remained the same, 9.6( normal is apprx. 14-18) This is a good indication that his bone marrow is recovering. Please pray that this would be a trend upward, that his bone marrow would recover, that the leukemia would be gone and he would be in a complete remission. Micah is expected to have a bone marrow aspirate this week to see if he is in remission. Thank you so much for your support and for those who are praying and fasting. God is faithful. He is our only help.
Ps 118:
5 I called on the LORD in distress;
The LORD answered me and set me in a broad place.
6 The LORD is on my side;
I will not fear.
What can man do to me?
7 The LORD is for me among those who help me;
Therefore I shall see my desire on those who hate me.
8 It is better to trust in the LORD
Than to put confidence in man.
9 It is better to trust in the LORD
Than to put confidence in princes.
16 The right hand of the LORD is exalted;
The right hand of the LORD does valiantly.
17 I shall not die, but live,
And declare the works of the LORD.
18 The LORD has chastened me severely,
But He has not given me over to death.
Trusting Jesus, The Author and Finisher of our Faith,
Laura, Mark and family
Tuesday, September 27, 2005 11:05 PM EDT
Dear family and friends,
Thank you so much for your care and concern for Micah and all of us. Here's a quick update.
Praise the Lord, Micah has felt a little better today. After spending most of Sunday and Monday in bed, sleeping much of the time, He was up some today. He continues to have a fever but not quite as high today. More in the neighborhood of 102 instead of 103 as it had been.
Three different types of bacteria have shown up in the various cultures they've done, so they have adjusted the antibiotics to target those. They also are checking for viruses, but have not found anything so far. If the fevers continue then probably by Friday they would begin treating him for fungus infection with a medicine called Amphotericin. Micah has had this once before and he had some pretty strong and unpleasant reactions to it. It would be a real blessing if his temperature dropped closer to normal and he wouldn't need that.
Thank you very much to you who are praying. God is great and so good to hear and answer our prayers. His kindnesses toward us are so undeserved but so abundant and amazing. Praise Him for the Lord Jesus who is our righteousness and by whose sacrifice all good things are made possible for us. And by whom we can come boldly before the thone of grace. Love Him with all your heart and walk with Him day by day, trusting Him for all you need to fulfill His will in your life. He is great and He will enable. Entrust your entire life to Him as you consider carefully what Jesus said:
"Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me. I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in Me, he is cast out as a branch and is withered; and they gather them and throw them into the fire, and they are burned. If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you. By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples." (John 15:4-8)
Keeping our eyes on Jesus,
Mark, Laura and family
Sunday, September 25, 2005 10:28 EST
Dear Prayer Warriors,
One praise report, is that when Mark and Micah got to the hospital they had an anesthesiologist ready to give him an IV, since he was very good at that. He was able to get one with the first try, so we were very thankful.
We would like to ask your continued prayers for Micah. His temperature was down this morning, but then up to 104.4 this afternoon. It has been going up and down between 101.8 and 104.4 Tonight his temperature was 103.3. Also his blood pressure has been lower than normal, although tonight it was back to normal, so we praise the Lord for that. One of Micah's liver functions, the bilirubin is high. So far the blood cultures have been negative. They did a chest x-ray, which did not show any infection in his lungs. He is weak and tired, just not feeling well, and has been sleeping on and off most of the day.
Please pray:
1. That he would not have a positive blood culture, or a serious infection.
2. That they would find the source of infection and be able to treat it if possible.
3. That his fever would go down, his bilirubin level would go down and his blood pressure would be stable.
Please continue to pray:
1. That Micah's leukemia would be completely destroyed and he would go into complete remission, so he can have a bone marrow transplant(BMT)
2. For all the details to be worked out for the BMT.
3. For protection for Micah's liver, lungs, kidney, heart, etc.
We love you all and appreciate so much your prayers. I know that God hears our prayers. Love, Laura and Mark
John 14: 27 Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
Saturday, September 24, 2005 6:03 PM CDT
Dear Friends and Family,
Thanks so much for your prayers. God has been so good to protect Micah. It has been 1 1/2 weeks since his chemotherapy treatment and he has done really well until this afternoon.
Micah got a fever this afternoon and was admitted to Baptist Hospital.This was not a surprise. It was what the doctors have been expecting to happen sooner or later. We are thankful for the time we have had at home. Besides the fever, he did not feel bad, except for a sore in his mouth, which may be the sorce of infection. They will need to start an IV, take blood cultures and start IV antibiotics.
Please pray:
1. That they will be able to start an IV the first try without any trouble.( they have had a hard time getting an IV )( Answered.. they got one with one try. Praise the Lord)
2. That he would not have a positive blood culture, or a serious infection.
3. That his fever would go down.
Please continue to pray:
1. That Micah's leukemia would be completely detroyed and he would go into complete remission, so he can have a bone marrow transplant(BMT)
2. For all the details to be worked out for the BMT.
3. For protection for Micah's liver, lungs, kidney, heart, etc.
God bless you all for your faithfulness to pray and for your coninued support.
Love, Laura and Mark
Ps 118:14
The LORD is my strength and song,
And He has become my salvation.
Wednesday, September 14, 2005 2:15 EST
Dear Prayer Warriors,
Thanks for your prayers. God really answered them. Micah is home as of 1:00PM today. He did really well with the chemotherapy. He did have typical side effects, but the pre-meds they gave before chemo and the meds after, helped to control the side effects. He also did not have an allergic reaction to the drug.The doctors had wanted to keep him there for several weeks until his counts came up because of the extreme risk of infection with this drug. They decided to let us come home with caution. We need to call at the first sign of fever, infection or feeling sick, and if this happens he will be readmitted. They feel like with this drug, this is very likely to happen, but they are amazed at how well Micah has done in the past. They said, whatever we are doing to keep it up. I told him it was the prayers and the blessing of the Lord. So, please keep up what you are doing. God's ears are open to your prayers. The Lord is good and worthy to be praised.
This chemotherapy drug is very strong and because he went into this with such a suppressed immune system and such an empty bone marrow, his counts are dropping a lot and fast, and the risk of infection is very high.
Please pray :
That Micah would not get any infections.
For the family that we would not get sick or pass anything to Micah.
For his bone marrow to recover quickly.
For every single last resistant leukemia cells to be destroyed completely.
That the blood products he gets would be safe and he would not have a reaction to any blood or platelets he receives.
.
1 Peter 3:12
12 For the eyes of the LORD are on the righteous,
And His ears are open to their prayers;
May the Lord be glorified,
Love, Laura and Mark
Saturday, September 10, 2005 9:44 AM CDT
August, 10, 2005
Our family, who is one of you, bondservants of Christ, greets you, always laboring fervently for you in prayers, that you may stand perfect and complete in all the will of God.( Col 4:12)
Micah was admitted Friday for his five days of a new Chemotherapy drug called clofarabine. He was given some drugs to help with the side effects. He was pretty tired and went to sleep early but woke up feeling sick. They gave him some more medicine and he was finally able to go back to sleep by 1:00am. This morning Micah woke up with a fever of 101.3, so they drew cultures, but they are thinking it is from the chemo. He was back asleep again by 9:30 this morning, so he is pretty wiped out. He has 4 more days of this drug.
Please pray that he would begin to feel better and that the fever would leave him.
Please pray that he would not get any infections.
Please continue to pray for the side effects to be minimal and not serious and that this drug would kill the resistant leukemia cells.
We truly have seen the hand of the Lord on Micah to sustain him through these last 3 ¾ years of battling leukemia. God has protected him from serious infections especially this last year since his relapse, transplant and relapse again. We are so thankful for your love and prayers and for standing with us and encouraging us in so many ways. I know many of you are going through trials and tribulations of your own and yet you have continued to pray for us and support us. We pray that the Lord Jesus Christ would sustain you with His wonderful Presence, and joy in Him. Love, Laura, Mark and family
1 Peter 3:12
12 For the eyes of the LORD are on the righteous,
And His ears are open to their prayers;
But the face of the LORD is against those who do evil."
Wednesday, September 7, 2005 10:05 AM CDT
August 6, 2005
Thanks for your prayers for Micah. In studying the last bone marrow aspirate samples, they found about 20% leukemia cells. This is much better than when they started chemo after he relapsed, but not down enough for another transplant. The doctors at Baptist and Duke believe the best plan for Micah at this point is to put him on at least one more course of chemotherapy treatment to try to get him in complete remission. He will be getting a new drug called clofarabine. (clolar) This new drug has been used on leukemia patients who have been heavily pretreated and relapsed more than once like Micah has. It has a 30% chance of getting him in remission. It is not intended to cure but with hopes of getting him in remission where the other more standard drugs have failed. There are many side effects, including increased risk of infection, bleeding, bruising, anemia, etc., due to low blood counts and a chance of allergic reaction. He will be admitted on Friday and have 5 days of intravenous infusion with IV fluids and steroids to prevent allergic reactions. If he does well he will be able to go home after the 5 days.
Please pray that Micah would be able to tolerate this new drug, clolar, without serious side effects., and that the Lord would continue to protect him from infection since he is already at high risk and this will increase his risk of infection even more. Also pray for protection from the problems associated with low hgb. And low platelets. Please pray that Micah would go into complete remission defined as no circulating blasts, less than 5% bone marrow blasts, and recovery of peripheral blood counts. If they can get him into remission, the next plan would be another transplant.
Thanks for your prayers and intercession. May God be glorified and may we find our ultimate joy in Jesus.
Love, Laura and Mark
Thursday, September 1, 2005 5:36 PM CDT
Thanks for your prayers. I just got a call from the doctor. They have found leukemia cells in the samples of bone marrow. So he is not in remission. Micah and I will go tomorrow for counts and get platelets if he needs them. They will talk with us about the new drug they want to try. The plan is to be admitted Monday and I think it will be five days in the hospital. Please continue to pray for wisdom. Pray that this drug will kill all those leukemia cells. Maybe this is just what he needs. We trust the Lord in this. He has the big plan. Please pray that Micah will not get sick or a fever. His temperature has gone up some during the day.
God bless you all. Love, Laura
Thursday, September 1, 2005 8:04 AM CDT
Dear Family and Friends,
Thanks for your prayers for Micah. We are still waiting for the results of the bone marrow aspirate and biopsy that was done Tuesday. So far they have not been able to confidently say whether or not he is in remission. They are waiting for his bone marrow to recover. Please pray for wisdom concerning this. The treatment they do next will depend on whether or not he is in remission. Waiting too long to do something puts him at more risk of relapse again.
Please pray for complete recover of healthy cells in Micah's bone marrow. Please pray for the Lord to protect him from any sickness. Last night he got a fever of 100.8. This morning it was back down to normal. If it goes up to 101, he will have to be admitted because his white count is so low. We praise God for protecting him so far from any sickness. He seems to be fighting something now, so please pray for his body to be able to fight off whatever it is that gave him the fever and pray that his temperature wouldn't go above 100.8.
We may not know anything more for a week, but will let you know as we find out.
God bless you all. We are so thankful for you.
Love, Laura
Friday, August 26, 2005 12:47 AM CDT
Dear Prayer Warriors,
Please continue to pray for Micah and wisdom for the doctors.
Yesterday he had a bone marrow aspirate and biopsy. It is not conclusive, but they believe he is not in remission. His leukemia cells are small and hard to detect, but they think there is more than what they could detect. He will have another bone marrow aspirate on Monday to see if the blast cells have increased or not. If he is definitely not in remission, they may use this new drug. It does have more side effects than the typical chemotherapy drugs they have used in the past, but it might be what he needs.
Please pray that on Monday Micah's blood counts would have recovered and that his bone marrow would show less blast cells and not more.
Thank you so much for your prayers.
Love, Laura
Wednesday, August 10, 2005 9:29 AM EST
Thanks for all your prayers. Sorry I haven't updated in a while. Our computor has been down for a while so we haven't been able to use e-mail or internet. Also Micah was in the hospital last Thursday and Friday overnight for chemotherapy, and Sunday - Tuesday for an infection, so we have been very busy.
Micah was admitted to Baptist Hospital on Sunday with an infection in his toe. His toe was red and swollen and hurt to walk on it. He had been outside in sandles and may have cut it on a rock or been bit by a bug. We are not sure because it didn't start to really hurt till Sat. night. By the time we got to the hospital the infection had spread following a vein up to his ankle. He was immmediately put on IV antibiotics for three days and they drew cultures which all came back negative. He also soaked his foot twice a day. By Monday it was so much better that one of the doctors was really amazed. Thanks for all your prayers. Tuesday it was just localized, and he was able to come home, after receiving IV antibiotics and two bags of blood. We got home by dinner time. He now is on oral antibiotics and continues to soak his foot two times a day. He is doing much better and dosn't have any more pain. The toe is still red and infected, but it is localized and there is no fever or positive cultures. Apparently toe infections are common among post transplant children.
Tomorrow Micah is scheduled to go to Baptist to recieve more chemotherapy. He may also get platelets because they have been low and continue to drop.
Please pray that Micah woldn't get any infections. His immune system is very supressed. Tuesday his counts were: WBC was 0.2, Hgb 8.3 and platelets 29 ( even though he got platelets on Sunday).
Please pray the Lord would give the doctors wisdom as they add more drugs to get him in remission. Also pray for wisdom concerning the next step and if he gets a stem cell transplant whether they should use Lydia's cord blood or an unrelated cord blood transplant. There are advantages and disadvantages in both that need to be considered, but the Lord is in control. His eye is on the sparrow and I know He watches me and Micah and each of us.
Ps 139:9-12
9 If I take the wings of the morning,
And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10 Even there Your hand shall lead me,
And Your right hand shall hold me.
11 If I say, "Surely the darkness shall fall on me,"
Even the night shall be light about me;
12 Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You,
But the night shines as the day;
The darkness and the light are both alike to You.
C. H. Spurgeon says, " The eye of God is everywhere... Wherever you are, whatever your case, God will be with you...In all seasons, always, in all dangers, and in all regions of the earth, there is the hand of God." This is true. Nothing can separate us from the love of God. We have put our hope and trust and faith in Jesus Christ alone.
Rom 8:34-39
35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? 36 As it is written:
"For Your sake we are killed all day long;
We are accounted as sheep for the slaughter."
37 Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. 38 For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, 39 nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
May you grow in faith and love and hope in Him!
Love Laura and Mark
Friday, July 29, 2005 12:14 AM CDT
July 29, 2005
Dear Friends and Family,
Yesterday was our first day back to Baptist Hospital. It was good to see everyone. We are so thankful for the doctors and nurses. They have truly been a blessing to us. They really care about Micah and are doing all they can to help. Micah’s prognosis is not good from a medical standpoint, but they are still looking for a cure. One doctor considers that another transplant may give him about a 20% chance of cure. Although, percentages don’t mean so much at this point and are hard to predict. It is all in the Lord’s hands, and the doctors are doing everything they can. The leukemia has obviously increased. Micah’s lymph nodes are swollen and his spleen is enlarged. Most likely his liver is enlarged also. They were able to detect blast cells(leukemia) in his blood. Micah’s blood counts were very low. He needed both blood and platelets. After getting blood counts, he got a breathing treatment for his lungs. Then he had an echo and a chest x-ray. Micah was given several chemotherapy drugs and also had a spinal tap and a bone marrow aspirate. Micah did great through everything, except for the IV. It took three tries to get a good vein. By then the little color Micah had was fading. Meanwhile Micah kept answering with a yes and a nod that he was ok until he couldn’t sit up anymore. It did not help to watch the needle sticks and he was already lightheaded from low hgb. After laying down on the bed for a while he slowly recovered. So he gave me a scare and started off his visit with a crash. It was a very long day. Mark came so we could talk with the doctor and discuss the plan. The first thing is to get him in remission. Every time you relapse the leukemia is more resistant to the drugs and it becomes harder to get in remission if you can at all. You also tend to relapse more quickly each time. So the next step depends on whether he gets in remission with the drugs they are using. Remission does not mean that he will be free of leukemia cells, but that the % would be less that 5%. The plan is to give him some good chemotherapy drugs for four weeks, that kill leukemia but are not real harsh. If this does not work they will try something stronger, but they want to protect his major organs, especially his liver, heart, kidneys and lungs. The exciting news is, that we got the results back from Lydia’s test. She is a perfect match for Micah, just like Priscilla. This means if Micah gets into remission they may be able to do another transplant using her saved cord blood.
Please pray that Micah will get into remission.
Please pray that the swelling in Micah’s lymph nodes, spleen and liver would go down and that they would not find any blast cells in his blood next week, for this would be a good indication that the chemo is working.
Please pray for protection and strength for his major organs.
Please pray for the doctors and us that God will give us wisdom and clear direction each step of the way.
Please pray for all the children and Mark and Laura that we would have the peace of the Lord and grace and strength in the days to come.
Please pray for a miracle that Micah will be healed of leukemia.
Isa 12:2
2 Behold, God is my salvation,
I will trust and not be afraid;
'For YAH, the LORD, is my strength and song;
He also has become my salvation.'"
May God be glorified.
Love, Laura and Mark
Tuesday, July 26, 2005 12:27 AM CDT
Tuesday July 26, 2005
Yesterday was our last day at Duke for a while. The result of the FISH test showed that the leukemia in Micah’s blood has increased significantly from 1% in the blood to about 30%. This indicates that there is now more leukemia in the bone marrow. As Dr. Martin said, we are losing ground. Micah’s lymph nodes are now swollen, which is another sign that the leukemia is multiplying. He has also been put on medicine to protect his kidney’s from being damaged by the leukemia. Therefore the plan is to go back to Baptist hospital and begin chemotherapy on Thursday to get Micah back into remission. We will also be talking with the doctor to discuss the options. Please pray for wisdom for Mark and I and the doctors. After this, they may give him more of Priscilla’s cells. The results of Lydia’s DNA is not back yet. It is possible they may want to do another transplant if Lydia is a good match, using her cord blood. A good match may be even a half match or more, because they would be using the stored cord blood. Please pray that if it is God’s will for this, that Lydia would be the RIGHT match,( whether that means half or more), that Micah needs in order to be cured of leukemia. The majority of transplants Duke does are cord blood. This is their specialty. Many children are given back a chance for life through this. I was thinking about how amazing our God is. He sent his son, Jesus, into the world as a tiny baby to save the world. God is using the cord blood of many tiny babies in order to give physical life to many. Our great Creator is awesome.
Many children are cured with stem cell transplants, yet there are many who lose the battle on this earth. Thanks to all who have been praying for and supporting financially a precious little girl, Frannie King. On Sunday, Frannie went home to be with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. She died in the arms of her loving mother, Viesta, while many loved ones prayed for her and surrounded her with praises to God. She left this earth and went straight into the arms of her loving heavenly Father to spend eternity with him.
Rev 21:3-4
3 And I heard a loud voice from heaven saying, "Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and He will dwell with them, and they shall be His people. God Himself will be with them and be their God. 4 And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away."
I thank God for giving Frannie such a wonderful mother who taught her to love Jesus. Please continue to pray for the King family in their grief and sadness. You can see her web site for more information. www.caringbridge.org/nc/frannie
Please continue to pray for Micah’s healing. We know that God still does miracles. We will continue to call upon Him in trouble and know that He will answer. Micah has a lot of peace and he is trusting in Jesus as he rests in His arms.
Phil 4:10But I rejoiced in the Lord greatly that now at last your care for me has flourished again; though you surely did care, but you lacked opportunity. 11 Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: 12 I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. 13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Love, Laura, Mark
Micah and family
Wednesday, July 20, 2005 3:40 PM CDT
July 20, 2005
Praise the Lord for 20 wonderful years of marriage. I am so thankful to the Lord for bringing Mark and I together, keeping us together and strengthening our marriage and making it more beautiful as the years go by. We have learned to trust Jesus more and to love Him more. He has blessed us with 9 beautiful children who love Jesus and live for Him. God has been so good to us.
Last night we had a big thunder storm. It made me think of the big battle going on in Micah’s body right now. His new donor cells are trying to fight the leukemia cells. Monday Micah had blood work and a check up. He needed platelets and will probably need them again on Thursday. We are still praying for Graft vs Leukemia( GVL) They are watching for signs that it is or is not working. They did a FISH test to check his blood for male and female cells. If there are more than 50% male cells( leukemia) they will start chemotherapy to bring him in remission. If there are 35% or less they will do a bone marrow aspirate next Wed. July 27, to check his bone marrow for leukemia cells. If there are more than 50% leukemia cells in his bone marrow they will start him on chemo and be thinking about another transplant. If Lydia is a match, they might use her stored cord blood. If there are 35% or less leukemia cells it would be an indication that the donor cells are attacking the leukemia cells, since the % would not have changed since the last bone marrow aspirate. We would love to see only 15%, or anything less than the 35%. If this is the case, they will give Micah some of Priscilla’s blood to boost his immune and help to fight the leukemia with her cells. This is what we are praying for, but we know that God is in control. Micah is in the Lord’s hands, and we are trusting in our precious Savior, Jesus Christ. We should get the results of the FISH test and the DNA test that they did on Lydia on Friday.
‘Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus, just to take Him at His word.
Just to rest upon His promise, just to know “thus saith the Lord”
Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him, how I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er.
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus! O for grace to trust Him more!
O how sweet to trust in Jesus, just to trust His cleansing blood.
Just in simple faith to plunge me ‘neath the healing, cleansing flow.
Yes ‘tis sweet to trust in Jesus, just from sin and self to cease.
Just from Jesus simply taking, life and rest and joy and peace
I‘m so glad I learned to trust you, Precious Jesus, savior, friend
And I know that you are with me, will be with me to the end.
Thank you for all your prayers and encouragement. Thanks for the notes and cards and for all the blessings people have donated for Micah. We are so in awe of God’s provision and grace in our lives. We are so thankful for the body of Christ.
Trusting in Jesus,
Laura, Mark and Micah and family
Tuesday, July 12, 2005 12:00 PM
June 12, 2005
As you know, Micah’s leukemia relapsed last week. Yesterday we went to clinic for Micah’s visit. Right now the doctors are trying long shots in Micah’s case, but God delights in long shots. He takes the weak things and makes them strong. It is only by the power of God that Micah can be healed.
Last night and this morning I was thinking about how God takes the weak things and makes them strong, and how God uses the weak.
Joel 3:10
0 Beat your plowshares into swords
And your pruning hooks into spears;
Let the weak say, 'I am strong.'"
Rom 8:3-4
3 For what the law could not do in that it was weak through the flesh, God did by sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, on account of sin: He condemned sin in the flesh,
1 Cor 1:27-30
27 But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty; 28 and the base things of the world and the things which are despised God has chosen, and the things which are not, to bring to nothing the things that are, 29 that no flesh should glory in His presence.
2 Cor 12:10
For when I am weak, then I am strong.
God chose to thin out Gideon’s army to fight the enemy so that it would be clear that it was God who won, not the might of the Israelites.
Judg 7:2
2 And the LORD said to Gideon, "The people who are with you are too many for Me to give the Midianites into their hands, lest Israel claim glory for itself against Me, saying, 'My own hand has saved me.'
We appreciate the doctors, their wisdom, and medical advice, and their care and concern for Micah. God has and is using them as an instrument for healing for Micah. We believe we are getting the best medical care we can get. The doctors are trying the long shots right now hoping that they will work. Our ultimate hope is in God and in His mighty power that raised Christ Jesus from the dead and dwells in Micah.
Yesterday it was confirmed that we are dealing with the same leukemia. Apparently one or a few leukemia cells were not killed, so they began to multiply. ( It reminds me of 1 Sam 15) Micah’s counts were; WBC 1.9, HGB 11.4, and the platelets dropped to 36. The FISH test showed 61.5% female( Priscilla) cells and 38.5% recipient( Micah) cells. He is also making red blood cells. He will get counts again on Thursday and most likely need a transfusion of platelets. We will also have a conference with Dr. Martin to discuss the plans and to have Lydia tested to see if she is a match for Micah.
This is the tentative plan.
1.Right now we are still waiting to see what happens with Micah off the cyclosporine. This will allow for Graft vs Host Disease(GVH). The best that would happen is Graft vs Leukemia(GVL), where Priscilla’s cells attack, kill and destroy every last leukemia cell. Not one cell can remain, or it will multiply and take over. But also we don’t want so much GVH that it is a danger to Micah. They say this is a long shot, that it does not usually work with the type of leukemia that Micah has.
2. If Micah does not have too much GVH and the leukemia is not taking over, (which a very high WBC would indicate) after a week or two they can give Micah some of Priscilla’s blood to help with GVL.
3. If these do not work, the next step would be several months of chemo to get Micah back in remission and then another transplant using either Lydia’s saved cord blood, or an unrelated cord blood. They would be able to use Lydia’s cord blood even if she is only a half match because she is a sibling. It would cause more GVH, but that would hopefully cause more of an attack on the leukemia cells.
Please pray.
1. That GVL would destroy all the leukemia and God would heal Micah. This would be the best case.
2. That he would not get serious GVH which would be life threatening.
3. If it comes to another Bone Marrow Transplant, please pray that Lydia would be a match or a half match, or that they would find a cord blood that is a perfect match for Micah.
We will keep you updated as things progress. Right now we are just waiting to see what happens. Our hope is in the Lord and Micah belongs to Him. Micah has a lot of peace and faith in God. Mark and I have peace also and know that Micah is in the Lord’s hands, which there is no better place to be. He is in control and will give us grace.
Thank you for your continued prayers and support.
Love,
Laura, Mark and Micah and family.
Wednesday, July 6, 2005 2:21 PM CDT
Front page, top story headline:
God is great and awesome, glorious and marvelous, mighty and majestic, merciful, kind and good, and worthy of all the praises of His people!
Second headline:
Dr. Martin tells us Micah's leukemia has relapsed.
Praise God, the first headline always trumps all others. Laura took Micah to Duke this morning to have his bone marrow checked since his counts have been dropping. They came on home before any results were available. I got the call this afternoon from Dr. Martin that they see 25 to 30 percent blast cells that they are convinced are leukemia. The marrow will be sent off for more extensive and detailed studies. The immediate plan is to take him off of Cyclosporine, the drug he's been taking that suppresses his new (Priscilla's) immune system to prevent bad graft versus host disease. The hope is that her cells, now unrestrained, will find and kill leukemia cells. The thought of good overcoming evil is always an exciting thought, isn't it?! We know God will show Himself glorious by overcoming all His wicked enemies. Our prayer is that God will be pleased and exalted to bless this 'graft versus leukemia effect' as it is called, and Micah will be rid of leukemia. But actually, Dr. Martin says this is a long shot. So, whatever happens, our trust is in God who is always good and always does what is best and always has a great and perfect plan. We will pray fervently, and ask you to pray fervently that God would heal Micah this way or any other way He chooses, that He will be most glorified. Stopping the Cyclosporine does mean that graft versus host is more likely to become a problem, so please pray for Micah concerning that also.
Thank you for all your love and kindness toward us. Keep on following Jesus with all your heart!
Love,
Mark, Laura and family
Sunday, July 3, 2005 8:48 PM CDT
Sunday July 3, 2005 DAY 124
Normal range of blood counts are as follows:
HGB is between 12- 16
Platelets are between 150-400
WBC is between 3.2- 9.8
Today we went to the clinic. Micah had blood work done. Everything looked good except his WBC and platelets. His liver functions and other chemistry looked good. His blood counts were stable from last Monday. His HGB was 11.4 Platelets 71 and WBC 1.7. Micah is scheduled to have a bone marrow aspirate and a bone biopsy on Tuesday morning at 9:00AM. We have to be there at 8:00AM. They will look at his cells to see exactly what is there, and to make sure there are no leukemia cells. Please pray for skill on the part of the NP, and anesthesiologist doing the procedure. Please pray for little if any pain for Micah and quick healing at the entry sites. Please pray that there will be no leukemia cells.
This song, A PLACE ON THE EARTH, by Fernando Ortega, has been a blessing to Mark and I recently. I hope you are blessed by these words.
A PLACE ON THE EARTH
Find me a place on the earth
where a weary man can rest,
and listen to Your voice in the turning seasons.
A quiet place in the world
where I can bow, and confess
that I fear where You have brought me, Mysterious God.
All of my life
You have been with me.
My comfort in loneliness,
my hope in the dark.
All of my life,
Lord, please stay with me.
Be my sustaining breath,
Guardian of my heart.
My days are passing by
like falling stars that blaze
across the night sky, then they are gone.
But Father, at Your side,
I will never be afraid.
For You have held all of my days in the palm of Your hand.
Lord bless you all.
Laura and Mark
Tuesday, June 28, 2005 7:46 AM CDT
Monday June 27, 2005
During our family time we have been studying Hebrews. We go over the scriptures several times and talk about it as a family. It has been a real blessing. Lately we have been reading chapters 10-12 and talking about enduring and embracing suffering. The verses that stand out to me today are:
Heb 10:32 But recall the former days in which, after you were illuminated, you endured a great struggle with sufferings: 33 partly while you were made a spectacle both by reproaches and tribulations, and partly while you became companions of those who were so treated; 34 for you had compassion on me in my chains, and joyfully accepted the plundering of your goods, knowing that you have a better and an enduring possession for yourselves in heaven. 35 Therefore do not cast away your confidence, which has great reward. 36 For you have need of endurance, so that after you have done the will of God, you may receive the promise:
39 But we are not of those who draw back to perdition, but of those who believe to the saving of the soul.
Micah has endured a great struggle with suffering. You all have been fighting the fight with us. We thank you for not growing weary. So many of you have continued to stick out this race with us. It is not over yet. Please keep praying.
Today we went to the clinic for Micah’s check up, a breathing treatment and labs. Everyone was commenting on how good he looked, with his hair coming in and just looking so healthy. Then we get back the labs and his white blood cell count and his platelets count had dropped a lot. The doctor had charted it out and showed us the trend of the counts dropping. I had been charting them myself and had seen that. His white count dropped to 1.5( normal is between 4.0-10.0) His platelets dropped to 78 ( normal is between 150- 400) His Hgb was good at about 11.4 ( normal is between 12-17). This is a concern to the doctors and they don’t know why his counts are dropping. It is hard not to be concerned. We went through this when Micah relapsed last year. It is easy to feel discouraged. We have need of endurance right now. Please pray for us. Micah does not seem worried and seems to be trusting in the Lord. I am reminded again that worrying will not add one day to his life and that God is in control and He is awesome and so wonderful.
The plan is for Micah to have counts again on Sunday July 3, and a bone marrow aspirate and a bone biopsy on Tuesday July 5. He has had many aspirates, but I don’t think he has ever had a bone biopsy. He will be put to sleep for this since it is more painful than an aspirate. I am not exactly sure what they are looking for with the biopsy. They are looking for leukemia cells as well as other possibilities, such as viruses, etc., with the aspirate. Please pray that the leukemia would not relapse, that they will not find any leukemia cells in his bone marrow and that God would heal him completely of all cancer cells. Please pray for both his WBC and his platelets to go up and for the donor cells to produce all the necessary cells and to multiply . Please pray for healing for what ever is the cause of this drop in blood counts.
Heb 12:1-4
Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Heb 12:3For consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls. 4 You have not yet resisted to bloodshed, striving against sin.
Heb 12:11 Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
Heb 12:12Therefore strengthen the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees, 13 and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be dislocated, but rather be healed.
I have seen so many families suffer so much more than us and continue to trust God and put their hope in Him, like Frannie’s mom. It gives me courage as I see them press on in this race.
Mark sang a song in our wedding to me. As for me and my house we will serve the Lord. We are going to continue to do that. Jesus Christ is worthy of all our praise. He is to be glorified in all this.
Thank you so much for your prayers.
Laura and Mark
Sunday, June 19, 2005 6:36 PM CDT
Day 110 June 19, 2005
Happy Father’s Day to Mark!! You are such a wonderful father. God has blessed our children with a father who loves our Heavenly Father with his whole heart, and desires to bring up his children to love God and to fear Him. Happy Father’s Day to all you fathers out there. To those who have been suffering because of the suffering of your children and especially those who have lost a child, may our great, wonderful and loving Heavenly Father comfort and minister to you today. Our heavenly Father knows our every need and He loves us more than anyone can.
We are so thankful to the Lord for His mercy upon us. Micah has been doing so well. Last Monday Micah’s blood counts were all about the same. Dr. Martin decided not to give Micah the GCSF (G) to see if his bone marrow will produce the white blood cells on their own. Micah gained about 4 pounds and they kidded him about putting quarter rolls in his pocket. With all his jokes I really wondered if he did. I thought maybe he put something in his hat. But he really did gain true body weight. All muscle of course!! Thursday he got counts again and they were about the same except for the white count which had dropped some, but he still did not need the G. Micah will be going to Duke to the clinic every two weeks now. His next appointment is June 27. Micah is gaining strength every day. He and Gabriel went on a 45 minute bike ride for the first time. It was good to see him enjoying his bike again. Not all the test results are back from Micah’s 100 day evaluation. His pulmonary function was normal. His chest x-ray was good and his echo was good, indicating normal heart functions. We are so thankful for that. We do not have the thyroid or the immune functioning results back. We should hear more about the thyroid test next visit. The immune functioning tests will not be back for 2-3 months. He should also have another chimerism test done soon to see if he is 100% donor cells yet. As of the last test, he was only 99% donor cells.
The prayer requests are:
1.That the % donor cells would go up to 100%, and would grow and multiply on their own, especially the WBC.
2.That the chronic graft vs Host would be only just enough to destroy any remaining leukemia cells.
3.That Micah’s bacterial infection would be completely gone.
4.That the Lord would protect Micah from any other infections.
5.That Micah’s leukemia would not relapse.
6.That his major organs and his whole body would be healed and restored.
7.That he would be protected from long term side effects of radiation, and from the medicine he is on, and all the chemotherapy he has had over the past 3 ½ years.
8.That the 100 Day studies, tests and evaluations results would show good immune functioning as well as good health for all his organs.
9.Continue to pray for Frannie who is still struggling.
10.Pray for all the children and families on 5200.
Our God rules and reigns and has all authority!! He is control of all things. Thank you heavenly Father for your love and mercy towards us. Bless and give strength to all those on 5200 and those who are still in this battle. Bless and comfort the parents of the two babies who recently went home to be with you.
Thanks to all who have been so generous and blessed us financially recently. Thanks especially to Marg Cobb for all the fundraising you have done for us, and for all the great meals you provide for the families on 5200. You are a joy to know. We love you and appreciate you. Thanks to our church, all of our friends and family who have been so supportive of us during this time. Thanks for the phone calls and notes of encouragement. We love you and appreciate your continued prayers for Micah.
Laura
Tuesday, June 7, 2005 5:14 PM CDT
Day 98
June 7, 2005
Yesterday was a good day at the clinic. Micah’s ig levels were high, which meant he did not need to have IVig. This was a blessing because he would have had to get an IV, which is no fun. It is also the first time he has not needed it. He did need a shot of GCSF because his WBC were low. His hgb and platelets were both good. The results of the chimerism test, which tests for the number of donor cells Micah has, came back. It showed 99 onor cells. We were hoping for 100 t this point. Dr. Martin said that most likely there are just a few of Micah’s lymphocytes still hanging around and he feels that when we do another test in 6-8 weeks, that he should have 100 Please pray for 100 onor cells and that the 1 ells that are Micah’s would be destroyed, especially if they are leukemia cells. Dr. Martin said he would not be concerned unless the percentage of Micah’s cells went up. Micah’s cyclosporine level was high also, so his dose of cyclo has also decreased. They were planning to start weaning him of this next week anyway. Cyclosporine is the medicine that helps prevent ( Graft vs Host) GVH. At this point we will be looking for more chronic GVH rather than the acute. A small amount of GVH would not be a bad thing as it would cause Graft Vs. leukemia and kill any remaining leukemia cells. Next week on June 13 Micah will start his 100 day studies and evaluations.
The prayer requests are:
1. That the onor cells would go up to 100 and would grow and multiply on their own, especially the WBC.
2. That the chronic graft vs Host would be only just enough to destroy any remaining leukemia cells.
3. That Micah’s bacterial infection would be completely gone.
4. That the Lord would protect Micah from any other infections.
5. That Micah’s leukemia would not relapse.
6. That his major organs and his whole body would be healed and restored.
7. That he would be protected from long term side effects of radiation, and from the medicine he is on, and all the chemotherapy he has had over the past 3 ½ years.
8. That his upcoming 100 Day studies, tests and evaluations would show good immune functioning as well as good health for all his organs.
The battle is not over, but the battle is The Lord’s. We know that Jesus Christ sits on the throne and He rules and He has the victory! Thank you for your continued prayers for Micah. Laura and Mark
Thursday, June 2, 2005 9:45 PM CDT
Thursday, June 2, 2005 Day 93
Micah came home on Monday as we expected. Everything went well. As far as I know there have been no more positive cultures.
Yesterday was Priscilla’s birthday. Happy birthday Priscilla Joy! We are so grateful to the Lord for you!! God had a special plan for Priscilla to be part of Micah’s healing in giving him her bone marrow. What a blessing she has been to us. Priscilla wanted to see the nurse coordinator, Mrs. Cash, for her birthday and we did get to see her. She even got Priscilla a birthday treat, which was a nice surprise. Thank you Mrs. Cash for your kindness to us.
We went to the clinic yesterday for labs and a check up. Micah had gained back some of the weight he lost in the hospital. His platelets went up. Thank you all for praying. His HGB also went up. His white count was down, so he did need GCSF to stimulate the WBC. He got a shot of GCSF for the first time, but it was not bad. Since he does not have central lines anymore, he gets his arm stuck for labs etc. Please pray that Micah’s white blood cells will go up and stay up on their own .
Micah will be 100 days post transplant next week. He had the pulmonary test yesterday. On June 13 he will have a lot of post transplant tests and evaluations. He will have blood work done that will show how his immune system is functioning. Please pray for a good report on these studies. They will also check to see whose cells he has.
Thank you burden bearers for your calls, prayers and notes. We are so grateful for your support and love. We love you and miss you.
Laura
Sunday, May 29, 2005 10:19 PM CDT
Sunday, May 29, 2005 Day 89
Thank you all for your prayers for Micah. Sorry I haven't updated in a couple of days. The days have been long and the nights short, with driving back and forth to Duke, but I am still glad most of us are home, and the good news is Micah will be home soon too. Micah’s surgery ended up being about 4:45pm on Friday and everything went really well. There was no trouble like when they took out his port last June. He has recovered very well and has not been in much pain. He also did not have much if any nausea from the anesthesia this time. Ever since they removed Micah’s central lines, he has had no fever or chills. The blood pressure has been up and down. His blood counts have dropped, probably due to the bacterial infection, so they gave him GCSF to stimulate the WBC. They took more cultures and so far they are all negative. The antibiotic is doing it’s job, and without the plastic in him from the central lines, the bacteria have nowhere to hide, so the bacteria is being destroyed. As long as the cultures continue to be negative tomorrow, Micah will be able to go home tomorrow. He will have one more IV antibiotic Monday and then he will go home with oral antibiotics. We are so excited. Jesse spent the night last night with Micah and Mark is with him tonight. The doctor has given Micah freedom to walk around the hospital grounds the last two days, which has been nice. Mostly we have just walked to a small garden area in the back and found a bench to sit on and read. Today Mark brought Micah to the south hospital where they are displaying pictures that some of the pediatric cancer patients and PBMT patients took. Micah had two pictures up. It was quite a walk and a bit tiring, but the display was worth it. The pictures are all unique. If you get a chance to see them, they are on the ground floor of Duke South. near the food court. I am not sure what Micah’s blood counts were today, because they were not back when I left, but I am not concerned. The Lord has given me peace about it, comforting me with His word. When I was tempted to worry on Friday I was reminded of Matt 6:25-27
"Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, …….27 Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?
Micah’s life is in God’s hands. He holds the key to life and death, and Micah’s name is written in the book of Life!!!
God bless you all. Thank you so much for your prayers.
Laura
Thursday, May 26, 2005 10:30 PM CDT
May 26, 2005 Day 86
Dear Friends and Family,
Please continue to pray for Micah. After being admitted on Wed., one of the cultures grew back positive in just 12 hours. It is a very serious type of bacteria. Micah has been having strong chills, high fevers of 103- 105 degree F, high blood pressure, and nausea and vomiting, mostly when he gets the antibiotic, because it is killing the bacteria. The doctors are concerned that they will have a hard time killing it in the central lines. He has two central lines; a triple lumen Hickman, and a portacath. He is scheduled to have both central lines removed tomorrow morning. This will hopefully help to destroy the bacteria. He is getting three different types of antibiotics, that will continue for 14 days. They expect Micah to be in the hospital till at least Monday or Tuesday.
Please pray for grace and strength for Micah. Please pray for the Lord to heal Micah of this infection, and that the bacteria would be destroyed. His immune system is not strong enough to fight it off, but God is the defender of the weak. Pray for a quick healing and recovery, and protection from all the symptoms. Mark is spending the night again. Please pray that they will sleep well and that Micah's temp, and blood pressure would go back to normal, and that the nausea and vomiting would stop.
We love you all.
Thanks so much for praying.
Laura
Wednesday, May 25, 2005 10:31 PM CDT
Wednesday, May 25, 2005 DAY 85
Thank you all so much for your prayers for Micah .Monday’s clinic went well. By the afternoon Micah had a headache and a low grade fever of about 99.3. By Tuesday his headache was gone but his temp was up to about 100.3. By this afternoon Micah's temp went up to 102.5. We called the doctor and they wanted us to bring him to Duke. They drew labs and blood cultures. They decided to admit him, which was a good thing. His temperature went up to 105 and he threw up. They are treating him with antibiotics assuming it is a bacterial infection. They are also giving him fluids and Tylenol. When I talked with Mark at 9:45pm his temp was down to about 102.6. They say Micah is having the typical symptoms of a bacterial infection.
Mark will spend the night with Micah tonight and I will be going first thing in the morning.
Please pray for Micah’s fever to go down, for the doctors to find out quickly what is causing the fever, and for Micah to quickly recover. Also, please pray that there will not be any serious harm done because of the high fevers and the infection.
Thanks for your steadfastness. God is keeping us on our knees. A good place to be.
We love you,
Laura
Thursday, May 19, 2005 9:47 PM CDT
Day 79 May 19, 2005
Monday Micah had his visit with Dr. Martin. He had his IVig. Micah’s blood counts were all just a little low, except the hgb. which was up a little to 11.5 His WBC was 2.8 so he needed to have GCSF to stimulate his WBC. His platelets dropped to 126. Dr. Martin was not concerned. He thinks it may be because of the pipeline effect which I described on an earlier date. Also since, Priscilla, his donor was half his size his cells are just a little slow at growing. Micah has been eating well and gaining weight, so the doctors are happy. He feels better now that he is getting the nutrition that he needs and he is more active. It helps a lot to be home in our own home and familiar surroundings. We are all so happy to be home after three months away. There is a lot more to do here, than in our little cottage apartment, so I find myself very busy. We have a lot of catching up to do, with school, yard work, cleaning, repairing, and organizing the mounds of things we have here compared to Durham Our trips to the clinic will take an hour longer, there and back as well. But, it is all worth it. There is no place like home. I think we could get along much better with out so much stuff though. I have learned to live more simply. It is amazing how complicated we make our lives doing all the things we think we need to.
At this point in Micah’s treatment he will be monitored closely as he continues to go to clinic once a week or more for a check up, labs, and IVig, etc. GVHD is still something that they are continuing to watch for so it can be quickly treated. Relapse also can occur at any time after transplant.
On June 13 Micah is scheduled for his 100 Day post transplant follow-up evaluations and tests. His major organs, like lungs, heart, kidneys, liver function, etc. will be tested along with blood work etc. to evaluate how his body has recovered from the BMT.
On June 15, 2005 Micah is scheduled for removal of his triple lumen Hickman catheter.
Please pray for Micah’s blood cells to grow and multiply on their own and get to a normal range. Please pray for complete restoration of his major organs and complete healing. Please pray for protection from infection, GVHD, and relapse. Pray for protection from side effects of the medication that he was on in the past and what he is still taking, as well as long term side effects of the radiation and the intense chemotherapy he has had over the past 3 ½ years. Please pray for the upcoming surgery that things will go smoothly and the Lord would protect Micah from any problems from the anesthesia and surgery itself. Pray for the surgeon that he would be careful and skillful in the procedure. Pray for Micah to have a quick recovery from the surgery.
It is easy to think that since we are home that all is back to normal, but there is still a long road ahead. We would greatly appreciate your continued prayers and support. Our trust is in our good and gracious heavenly Father.
Love to all,
Laura and Mark
Saturday, May 14, 2005 10:32 PM CDT
5/14/05
PRAISE THE LORD!!! Day 74 post transplant and we’re all back at Staley. God has been so good to us. The Lord surely blessed us in Durham, and we believe that the bone marrow transplant was His chosen means to bring healing to Micah’s body, and so Durham and Duke have such a significant place in our lives and hearts. He certainly blessed and made our stay there very nice, and we have good memories. But oh how nice it is to be back here, in the hills, in the woods, among the rocks, on our five acres. And for all eleven of us to be here. I felt sort of invigorated to be working here, especially outside, getting things done. Hallelujah! Thank you for all your prayers, support, encouragement, love and more. We are so blessed. We appreciate your continued prayers. Micah is doing well, but there are things that can and do go wrong at this stage after transplant. He will still be on medications and will be at risk of infections, which can be very mild or life threatening if they invade the blood, lungs, liver or other organs. His immune system will not be up to normal for a year or more and for this reason he can not go out in public for 6 months. Micah will be monitored closely as he continues to go to clinic once a week or more for a check up, labs, and IVig, etc. GVHD is still something that they are continuing to watch for so it can be quickly treated. Relapse also can occur at any time after transplant. It is easy to think that since we are home that all is back to normal, but there is still a long road ahead. We would greatly appreciate your continued prayers and support. Our trust is in our good and gracious heavenly Father.
Mark and Laura
Wednesday, May 11, 2005 7:55 AM CDT
Ps 103:2-5
2 Bless the LORD, O my soul,
And forget not all His benefits:
3 Who forgives all your iniquities,
Who heals all your diseases,
4 Who redeems your life from destruction,
Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies,
5 Who satisfies your mouth with good things,
So that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.
Monday was our visit to the clinic again. Micah is doing very well over all. The biggest concern has been Micah’s weight. He has lost 15 pounds since transplant , mostly since he got out of the hospital and off TPN. The labs show his kidney functions have been going up. Micah is not getting enough calories for his body to function and to heal. He needs about 50% more calories than a normal boy his age in order to heal. The doctor has been saying he will put a GI(feeding) tube up his nose if he can’t eat enough to gain weight. Or they may have to start TPN again, which is invasive and not preferred. The thought of a feeding tube was enough to get him eating. He stuffed himself for 4 days and by last Thursday he had gained about 3 pounds, which we and the doctors were glad about. Well, by Monday of this week he had lost it again. So he got another pep talk about the importance of eating, and gaining weight. We are going to start a medication that will stimulate his appetite. We are suppose to go again to the clinic this Thursday. The sooner Micah can gain weight and keep it on, the sooner we can go to just once a week visits, and the sooner he can get his central line taken out. The doctors continue to say Micah is doing very well. When the weight is really the only thing they are concerned about, that is a good thing.
We are still making plans to move home to Staley on Saturday. We have been cleaning and repairing and making things ready for Micah to come home for some time. We hope that he will only have to go to the hospital once a week by next week.
It is not over yet. Micah still has a long way to go to be healed and restored. His immune system is still not functioning fully and he is still at a high risk of infection and there is still a possibility of the leukemia relapsing. He will still not be able to go out in public for 4 more months. We are taking each day as they come and thanking the Lord for His grace and mercy and for the gift of each day.
Yesterday I went to our home, in Staley to clean. After getting some order out of the chaos, I really began to feel so happy to be going home after 3 months away. I was thinking, aahhh this is my real country, this is where I belong. Then I read on a friends site a quote from
The Last Battle.
It was the Unicorn who summed up what everyone was feeling. He stamped his right fore-hoof on the ground and neighed and then cried: I have come home at last! This is my real country! I belong here. This is the land I have been looking for all my life, though I never knew it till now. The reason why we loved the old Narnia is that it sometimes looked a little like this. Come further up, come further in!
It made me think, that if I feel so glad to be going home to Staley, feeling like that is where I belong, how much more will I feel like I am really home, really where I belong, when I go to heaven, my real home, where I really belong!
Looking forward to going home...and even more.. looking forward to going home. Laura
Friday, April 29, 2005 8:08 AM CDT
Friday April 29, 2005 Day 59
Thank you for your prayers, things are going well for Micah.. Our visit to the hospital went well yesterday. Micah’s blood counts are good. His WBC was 2.7 so he will need some GCSF to stimulate the WBC growth. He had a breathing treatment to protect his lungs from pneumonia. Micah continues to loose weight. Please pray that he will be able to eat more. He needs more calories to heal than what he is getting. One thing that should help is that they have given him the OK to have a little lactose, which means he can have cheese, as long as it doesn’t upset his stomach.
For those who have been praying for Jack, thank you. I heard some good news. His cells from his 2nd BMT are now 98% donor cells and he is suppose to be discharged this week. Frannie, also is doing better, but still needs a lot of prayer.
Some people think I am so strong, yet, I am so happy to be so weak, because when I am weak, He is strong. ‘Let the weak say I am strong in the strength of the Lord’ If I weren’t weak, I wouldn’t be able to just fall into the arms of my Loving Savior.
So often people think that they have to grit their teeth and bear up under hard times and they have to ‘be strong’ in the Lord. Yet, what is true is that to be strong in the Lord is not to be strong in your self and to grit your teeth and bear it, but to fall flat on your face before the Lord, knowing with out a doubt that you can not bear it. The grief and pain and suffering is much more than you can bear. What did Job do when he lost everything?
Job 1:20-22
20 Then Job arose, tore his robe, and shaved his head; and he fell to the ground and worshiped. 21 And he said:
"Naked I came from my mother's womb,
And naked shall I return there.
The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away;
Blessed be the name of the LORD."
22 In all this Job did not sin nor charge God with wrong.
Does that sound like he is gritting his teeth and bearing it? He tore his robe. He shaved his head. He fell to the ground! He worshipped. He acknowledged the Lord, that it was the Lord who gave to him in the first place and it was the Lord who has taken away. He did not blame God and become bitter towards God.
That is grace poured out. When we are in a time of suffering, trials, sadness, when we give up and fall to the ground and stop trusting in ourselves, acknowledge God and worship Him! He is worthy. He is faithful. He will carry us.
C. Spurgeon says it beautifully: “ A child of God is not expected to be stoic, for God’s grace takes away the heart of stone… Do not ask to be made hard and callous, for this is not how grace works. Grace gives us patience and submission, not stoicism…My friend, when grief presses you to the dust, worship there! Remember David’s word’s,…“ Pour out your heart before Him.” Turn your heart upside down, empty it, and let every drop run out. “Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us” (Ps. 62:8)…. This kind of worship subdues the will, arouses the affections, stirs the whole mind, and presents you to God in solemn consecration. This worship sweetens sorrow and takes away it’s sting.”
It is not about being strong in my faith. It is about being so weak, that He is strong!
I praise God for His strength and His Faithfulness.
2 Cor 12:9-10
9 And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
We are in need of God’s strength.
Your weak Sister,
made strong in Christ, Laura
Tuesday, April 26, 2005 9:06 AM CDT
Tuesday April 26, 2005 Day 56
Praise God, persistence in prayer did reap a harvest! Monday was the 12th day that Micah had been having a fever anywhere between 100 and 103.4. God had really impressed upon me to be persistent in prayer, and I know many of you also were persistent in prayer for Micah. Well, Monday morning his temp was down to 99.1. When they took his temp at the hospital it was down to 98.4! Praise God! Last night it was up a degree, but still below 100. The visit with the doctor went really well.. Micah’s lab work was good indicating that his liver and kidney functions are good. The chest x-ray he had last week showed his lungs to be clear. The CT scan showed no sign of infection. All the different blood cultures have come back negative. His legs are not hurting, because they put him back a lower dose of neurontin. Now that the fever is gone and everything came back negative, the doctors have concluded that the fever was from the somulence syndrome that Micah is experiencing. The somulence syndrome is a late side effect of the radiation. Not only did it give him a fever, but he has been very tired and fatigued and he sleeps a lot. The fatigue is continuing and the doctors say it may last 2-3 weeks.
I know he must be feeling a little better because between sleeping at the clinic while getting IVig and waiting for the doctor, Micah was preparing to play a joke on the doctor. He put a tinfoil pom- pom wig on his head and then his hat and held a newspaper in front of his face. He was planning to put down the newspaper when the doctor came in, and tell him that his hair was coming back strangely! Well he got hot and tired of holding up the newspaper(anything takes strength out of him these days). As soon as he put it down and took off the wig Dr. Martin and the NP, Ann, came in. Ann immediately saw the wig and exclaimed, " I saw that!" They insisted on Micah putting it on. So they turned their heads while Micah got ready with the wig and newspaper. So even though they caught him, they got a good laugh out of it.
The exciting news is Micah can go home on May 14th, if things continue to go well for him. This is the last day of our lease. So, once again, God’s timing is perfect!
We will be still going to Duke once a week for a while, then alternating between Duke and Baptist(where we started Micah’s treatment).Then we will switch to Baptist only, except for the 100 day, 6 month and one year evaluations and then once a year after that.
Please continue to pray for Micah. His immune system is still like a newborn. He is very immuno-compromised. A cold can become pneumonia or something very serious for him. He is also very susceptible to viral, bacterial, and fungal infections that are just in the air, dirt, clothes skin, food etc. Right now a pretty bad cold has started running through the family. We are trying to keep them away from Micah, but this is hard to do. Please pray for Micah that he will not get sick. Micah’s digestive system is still getting healed and adjusting to food again. He has lost about 10 pounds but he started with a good healthy weight. He eats small amounts throughout the day, but food is not all that appetizing to him and he still has digestive problems. This will just take time.
The Lord encouraged Micah with this scripture yesterday.
Matt 11:28-30
8 Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For My yoke is easy and My burden is light."
The Lord also performed His Word and has lifted a burden. With Micah’s fatigue, this scripture seems so appropriate. Our Lord Jesus Christ is gentle and lowly in heart and He gives us a rest and a peace for our souls that the world can not give.
May you find God’s rest for your soul.
God bless you and thank you for continuing to lift up Micah in your prayers!
Love, Laura
Friday, April 22, 2005 9:27 PM CDT
Friday, April 22, 2005 Day 52
Yesterday Micah had a clinic visit. He has continued to have a fever, nausea, fatigue, and now he has a cough and his legs have been very achy. Yesterday he had another culture on three lines, plus a blood culture to test for a fungal infection, a sinus CT scan and a urine culture. Still nothing has come back positive. Also the chest xray on Monday was clear. Dr. martin is not too concerned. He thinks the fever is a combination of GVHD, WBC coming in, an infection of some sort, and a late effect of the radiation. The fatigue, which is getting even more, is also a late side effect of the radiation. It is very strange to see Micah sleeping so often during the day, but his body has been through an enormous amount. He basically slept on and off all day today till about 5:00. Then he went on a short bike ride. It was good to see him get out even for a short time. By 8:00 he was wiped out. We are seeing what most post transplant children go through. Please pray for Micah to have the strength to exercise every day to protect his lungs and other major organs. The NP called to tell us to have Micah start taking again, one of the pills( neurontin) that he had stopped, just once a day instead of twice. This will hopefully help with the pains in his legs.
As the fevers persist, it is just a reminder to be persistent in prayer. Micah’s body is still fighting. The battle is not over, but praise be to God who is always victorious! The battle is the Lord’s and He will win!
It is easy to grow weary, but I am encouraged by God’s Word which says in Gal 6:8-10
9 And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. 10 Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith.
Thank you so much for your persistence in prayer and your love, support and encouragement.
Love, Laura
Wednesday, April 20, 2005 9:13 PM CDT
Wed. April 20, 2005, Day 50
We are halfway to the 100 day mark. Micah has been running fevers the last several days. His temp. seemed to have peaked on Monday night. Some of his counts, mostly platelets and white count have been dropping some and Micah has been very tired and just worn out and fatigued. They have done several cultures and as of today nothing has grown a positive culture. They have also given Micah two days of IV antibiotics and some fluids. Dr. Martin thinks that the tired feeling is probably a late side effect of the radiation. We were told it may take 2-3 weeks to start feeling better. The dropping of the counts is probably what they call the pipeline effect. When Micah received the bone marrow from Priscilla, he also received all her cells, the different types of cell and those that are differentiating into specific types of cells. These are now all used up and Micah has to rely on making his own. In Dr. Martins word, all the different cells from Priscilla, all those in the trucks and warehouse and trains, etc. are all sent and used up and now he has to rely on the factory to make all new ones from Priscilla’s stem cells. This explanation was helpful and relieved fears.
Dr. Martin stopped one drug. One is down to just as needed. His cyclosporine is now 4 pills in the am and 4 in the pm, instead of 2 hours IV in the morning and 2 hours IV at night. This is so much easier. His IV’s are now down to just IVig and IV GCSF and any antibiotics, fluids, blood products etc, as needed.
Please continue to pray that the fevers would stop and that if there is virus or infection of any sort, that they would find out what it is. They will be doing a blood test for a fungus infection tomorrow along with other blood work.
I wanted to testify of the Lord’s goodness to me during this time to deliver me from fears. Before I heard any explanations I was very fearful when the fevers started going up, and his counts dropping some and Micah being so worn out. My first thought was to run to someone who could relieve my fears and tell me everything is going to be alright. Then the Lord called me to Himself, to run to Him, and He delivered me from all my fears. I knew that it was all in His hands and no matter what anyone said it would not stop the plans of the Lord. This gave me so much peace. God is in control. I have nothing to fear. It brings so much peace to simply trust in Jesus. I do not have to work it out or do anything to make things happen or even to relieve my fears and anxious thoughts. Sometimes the fear can freeze us up and we panic, but when we take His Word seriously, peace comes. Phil 4:6-7 says,
6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
If you have any fears, I encourage you to run to Jesus. He will deliver you from all your fears.
Charles Spurgeon says. “ Suppose an accident should take our lives? I smile as I think that the worst thing that could happen would be the best thing that could happen. If we should die, we shall be with the Lord(1 Thess. 4:17). So, if the worst that can befall is the best that can come, why should we fear?
This is good reasoning. If you are a believer, and if God is your refuge, there is no logical reason to fear.”
I guess the big question, is the if. Are you a believer? Is God your refuge? If so, then you have nothing to fear.
Thanks so much for all your prayers. God is faithful. May God be glorified.
Laura
Saturday, April 16, 2005 3:52 PM CDT
Day 46 Saturday April 16, 2005
Micah went to the clinic today for lab work and a weight check. His temperature is back down to normal. His kidney level went down a little. He seems to be feeling better today. His weight is pretty stable. Nothing has grown out of the blood culture they took. We don’t know the reason for him not feeling well and having a fever, but he seems to be doing better so we are thankful to the Lord who continues to show Himself faithful and merciful.
The newest thing, is that Micah is getting eye brows. It almost looks strange to see him with eye brows, because he has not had them for so long! I think his hair will probably start coming back soon too.
We went to visit 5200 today. There were a few children still there from when we were there. It was good to see them and some of the nurses. Please continue to pray for Jack, and Frannie.
Praise God for His unfailing love. Praise Him for the precious blood of His Son Jesus. His love is amazing.
Laura
Thursday, April 14, 2005 7:43 PM CDT
Day 44 April 14, 2005
Today we went to the clinic. Micah still had a low grade fever of around 100. His kidney levels were higher than they had been, so Micah was given a big bag of IV fluids, to protect his kidneys. He has been more nauseated than usual, has a runny nose, his appetite has decreased, he’s lost weight, and he is not as energetic. Because of all these things combined with the fever, they did a culture to see if any bacteria is growing. He needs to eat more and drink more. Losing weight is a stress on his kidneys that is why they are concerned. If he does not eat more on his own they will give him a drug to stimulate his appetite. We will just watch Micah for any change or increase in temp. Micah has done so well up till now, but really these symptoms are pretty common, and expected. Micah’s blood counts continue to do well. His WBC is 5.3,so he will not need the GCSF tonight and this is the longest he has gone without it. PLT 199 ( this is the first time they are in the normal range), HGB 11.4 Also his magnesium level rose slightly on it’s own. We had been trying to eat foods high in mag, so it was a real blessing for this to go up with out IV’s etc. The level is still low but at least it is rising. Micah is scheduled to go back on Saturday, for a weight check and for lab work. Please pray for the Lord to heal what ever is causing the fever and just all around not feeling so great. Thanks so much for your prayers for Micah. Continue to pray for Hannah. She is still not completely scabbed over. We would all like to be back together again soon!! God has been so good to us. He is Faithful. God bless you all.
Laura
Tuesday, April 12, 2005 9:54 PM CDT
Tuesday, April 12, 2005 Day 42
I have been reading in Deut. and thinking about how the rules we have to follow for Micah to separate him and protect him from germs relates to God’s will for us to follow His commands and rules. Because of Micah’s compromised immune system we have to be very careful about germs. He is also on a special diet, to protect him from bacteria. He has to stay out of the public, and be pretty much isolated from other people. It is impossible to be totally isolated, but we can take as many precautions as possible to prevent the exposure of bacteria, viruses, fungus, etc. Being Micah’s mom, I am very protective of him. Most people really don’t know the extent of the effects of having his immune and bone marrow wiped out, and the effects, the medicines, chemotherapy, radiation etc. have had on him. ( Mark and I didn’t know either) So I hope no one gets offended by our protection.
As one fellow BMT mom said after 9 months or so post transplant:
We are supposed to be treating him like a newborn as far as exposure to other people. That's hard to do. If you see us out in public and you can't get near him because I'm standing watch like a guard dog, don't be offended.
I have been thinking about these rules about isolation and food etc. Micah knows how important it is for his life and health, to follow these rules also. We saw a boy at the clinic whose mother was about to get a drink from the water fountain( something a BMT, or cancer child should not do! ) He yelled out, no Mom, don’t do it! She laughed and said she had trained him well, now he is training her. We follow these rules because we trust our doctors. We know that they know more about BMT’s and the extent of his compromised immune system, and the complications that may arise, etc, better than we do. So we follow these rules because we know they are for our good, for Micah’s good. It is a wise thing to do. So we are very thankful for these rules. 6 months to a year is nothing compared to years of life.
( what is one hundred years of life on this earth compared to eternity in heaven?)
I have been reading in Deuteronomy about God’s laws and commandments, and I am so very thankful for them. I know they are for my good. I trust my God and Savior, that He is All - Wise and All – Knowing. He is All - Loving and wants the best for me. His rules are not to harm me, or to spoil my fun, but for my protection, because He loves me, and He knows what will really make me full of joy.
God loves us so much that He goes to great extents to seek us and to save us, to show us that He is the Lord God and to lead us into righteousness.
Deut 4:30-31
30 When you are in distress, and all these things come upon you in the latter days, when you turn to the LORD your God and obey His voice 31(for the LORD your God is a merciful God), He will not forsake you nor destroy you, nor forget the covenant of your fathers which He swore to them.
Deut 4:32-40
……………………………………………………………………..
35 To you it was shown, that you might know that the LORD Himself is God; there is none other besides Him. ………….39 Therefore know this day, and consider it in your heart, that the LORD Himself is God in heaven above and on the earth beneath; there is no other. 40 You shall therefore keep His statutes and His commandments which I command you today, that it may go well with you and with your children after you, and that you may prolong your days in the land which the LORD your God is giving you for all time."
God’s laws are for our protection. They are because He loves us. 1 John 5:3-4
His commandments are not burdensome.
Matt 11:27-30
28 Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For My yoke is easy and My burden is light."
Yesterday was our big day at clinic. I think it was our biggest yet! We got there at 10:00am and left about 5:15pm.We made the mistake of not bringing lunch, so no lunch that day. Micah’s labs look good. His white blood cell count was low, so he needed GCSF (to stimulate the growth of WBC). His magnesium is still low. They tried to up his dose of mag., but that caused other problems, so they lowered it again. It is possible he may need to get IV mag. His liver function is back to normal, so they took him off the liver medicine. His hands and feet have not been hurting lately, so they lowered the dose of medicine that helps with that. Besides the WBC being low, his other labs are good. HGB is 10.6, PLT is 153. Micah is still a little nauseated in the morning, but they stopped his anti-nausea drug as well, since he was not throwing up. This is really good. We were expecting a lot worse.. Micah is still healthy. We praise God for that. Many of the children get readmitted due to sickness. Please pray for Micah’s continued good health and that he will be free from infections. Pray for his magnesium levels to increase, and for his white count to increase on it’s own. Micah is still having mild GVHD of the skin. Please pray that it will not get worse. Pray for protection from the sun. Pray for his major organs, particularly his lungs, liver, kidneys, heart. Pray for Micah to be totally healed of leukemia and that he would not relapse. The girls are about well from the chicken pox. Hannah got it last and worst, so it is taking a little longer. We really miss them!!! Please continue to pray for Micah and Lydia to not get chicken pox. Even without this exposure, there is a 50% chance Micah could get the chicken pox, and or shingles at some point. Please continue to pray for Frannie, and Jack and all the BMT children. Please pray for the mother of a girl (Carrie) who recently went to be with the Lord. Her name is Wendy.
Thank you so much for your prayers and for taking the time to read my thoughts. (if you have) Thanks to all who write on our caringbridge. We look forward to hearing from you. We love you and miss you. It is a privilege to come before The Living God, and make our requests to Him.
Deut 4:7
7 "For what great nation is there that has God so near to it, as the LORD our God is to us, for whatever reason we may call upon Him?
In the Love of Jesus Christ,
Laura
Friday, April 8, 2005 7:02 AM CDT
From yesterday:
Thursday, April 7, 2005 Day 37
Happy Birthday Elisabeth! We love you and miss you.
We didn’t have to go to clinic today. We got a lot of odds and ends done.
I was thinking today about all the wonderful blessings in our life and how many specific prayers God answered.
Getting this cottage was really a miracle and such a blessing to all be together.
Micah has 100% donor cells.
He has not had to have one blood or platelet transfusion since he was discharged.( We were prepared for getting a lot of these) A couple times his counts got very close, but then they began to rise, and they continue to rise.
His white count has been fluctuating. It goes up with the medicine that stimulates his white blood cells, then down after not getting them. This is the longest he has gone without the medicine.
The Lord has kept Micah well. He has not had any of the infections; bacterial, fungus, or viral, that we were warned about. His major organs all seem to be well. His lungs have been clear.
One of the scriptures the Lord gave me before we started was ;
Isa 40:28-31
28 Have you not known?
Have you not heard?
The everlasting God, the LORD,
The Creator of the ends of the earth,
Neither faints nor is weary.
His understanding is unsearchable.
29 He gives power to the weak,
And to those who have no might He increases strength.
30 Even the youths shall faint and be weary,
And the young men shall utterly fall,
31 But those who wait on the LORD
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.
The Lord has given Micah so much strength. I think he set a record in the number of laps he walked in the hospital. He also continues to walk or ride his bike.
The Lord has also given Micah much joy! The joy of the Lord has been his strength! I know that the joy he has spills over to others. ( if you doubt this, look on his xanga)Thank you Jesus for Your gift of joy!
He has had very little GVHD which has been easily controlled.
Recently I was looking at a picture of Micah holding up the bag of bone marrow and thinking about how this blood from Priscilla is giving Micah life, when he had no chance of life without it, in the natural. It really is a miracle. I had prayed for the blood of Jesus to wash over and through Micah and cleanse him and heal him. Now we are seeing that bone marrow produce cells, and strengthen Micah’s body. It is wonderful to see his pink cheeks and red lips!
These praise reports and so many others gives me a joy and gratefulness for Jesus and His blood that washes away our sins. We should hate our sins as much as we hate sickness, suffering, and death. Jesus has come to take away our sins. To free us from the bondage of sin. To be in bondage to sin is so much worse than sickness, suffering and death! Praise God for His blood!
Today Micah was playing his guitar and singing ‘Nothing but the Blood’ Here are the powerful words. Think on them.
NOTHING BUT THE BLOOD
Your blood speaks a better word
Than all the empty claims, I’ve heard upon this earth
Speaks righteousness for me, stands in my defense
Jesus, it’s your blood
What can wash away our sins? What can make us whole again?
Nothing but the blood, nothing but the blood of Jesus
What can wash us pure as snow? Welcomed as the friend of God Nothing but your blood, nothing but your blood King Jesus
Your cross testifies in grace
Tells of the father’s heart to make a way for us
Now boldly we approach, not earthly confidence
It’s only by your blood
Laura
Wednesday, April 6, 2005 10:26 PM CDT
Wed. April6 2005, Day 36
Monday was a big day at clinic. We saw Dr. Martin. Micah is doing very well.
When Dr. Martin examined Micah¡¦s skin for the GVHD, he found some unusual red dots on his skin. He got a closer look and was trying to figure out what it was. The chicken pox perhaps.? Unusual looking chicken pox. Then Michelle, the nurse practitioner started laughing and said, ¡§Aren¡¦t you going to tell him?¡¨Micah started laughing too. Then Dr. Martin caught on, ¡¨Did you draw these?! You really had my heart racing there for a minute!¡¨ Ha Ha! Actually he had my heart racing as well when Michelle first noticed the dots( before Dr. Martin came), because I had no idea what he was up to and that he had drawn red dots on his arms! (*You can look at Meoughta¡¦s site for the full story* )Well that was half the excitement of the day. The big news that we heard on Monday was the results of a cytogenetics test. Since Micah is a male and Priscilla a female, they were able to do a simple test to see who¡¦s cells are growing in Micah. This test takes a sample of blood and counts 200 cells to see if they are male cells or female cells. The good news is that they found 100% female(donor)cells. They will do a more extensive test, that takes longer to get the results, later. But this is very exciting news and a big answer to prayers. The enemy is being defeated. Thank you to all you prayer warriors! God is good.
We only have to go to clinic Monday, Wed. and Friday this week. Tuesday was the first day we have had off. including weekends. Yeh! We were so excited. I cleaned in the morning and then Micah and I went to the Duke gardens. They are very pretty. There are a lot of flowers and different kinds of birds. It was a pleasant day to be outdoors. We found a bench in a secluded spot and enjoyed God¡¦s creation.
Today things went well at clinic. All Micah¡¦s labs were good. His skin is also looking good.( No more red dots! ƒº) The blisters on his feet are also healing very nicely. Ann, his primary nurse practitioner had been out of town on Monday. Today she said to him ¡§ Remember boring is good. But not so boring that you draw red dots on you! Dr. Martin was telling me about that. You really got him!¡¨ Maybe not so funny. Chicken pox is very serious to a person with a compromised immune system. Ann stressed that to us today. I don¡¦t think they expected this out of Micah, he is usually so quiet. I guess it is the Priscilla in him coming out. ƒº
Everyone except Micah and Lydia and I (Laura) are at the ¡¥chicken pox¡¦ house in Staley. They are doing better. Someday we will laugh about this. Actually I can¡¦t wait to see to pictures. I hate that I have missed this land mark in their childhood. Tomorrow is Elisabeth¡¦s 8th birthday. I told her it is a birthday she will never forget. I am thankful that this happened now instead of when we got home. This way Micah can be protected.
May the Lord bless you and encourage you and build your faith. He is awesome!
Praising Him! Laura
Sunday, April 3, 2005 4:47 PM CDT
Sunday 4-3-05 Day 33
Micah is doing very well. His counts are good. Hgb is 9.8, Plt are 88, WBC is 7.9. The white count continues to fluctuate from 2 to 29. He is able to go two days without needing the GCSF ( a drug to stimulate white cell growth) . His platelets continue to climb and the hgb. remains steady. His magnesium is still low, even with increasing the dose of his mag. supplement. Low magnesium can cause side effects, such as seizures. Often they are not able to get the mag. up without IV.
Friday night Bethany had a stomach ache and a sore throat. Sat. morning I asked her if she felt better.
She replied, " Yes, except for the dots."
I jumped up and looked at her dots, and sure enough, she has the chicken pox. Priscilla has them as well. Hannah says she has 5 pox. Elisabeth only has one that looks like chicken pox .
Elisabeth sang a song Saturday morning. '”I don't have the chicken pox, but I do have Jesus” She sang loud and strong, as if to keep them away. Maybe her good confession of faith will keep her well.
Saturday the doctor said that the girls must be separated from Micah except for Lydia who has Laura's immunities. It could be very serious if Micah were to get the virus, because of his compromised immune system. Everyone (besides Laura, Micah, and Lydia) went home to Staley. The ones with chicken pox will have to stay there till the pox are scabbed over.
Please pray for the girls to get better quickly, and pray that Lydia and Micah would not get the virus. Also pray for Micah’s magnesium level to go up, and for the skin GVHD to continue to be controlled with cream and not to get worse. Also pray for Micah’s white blood cells to rise and to stay up on their own without medication.
Thank you for your prayers.
Love, Laura
malachi46@highstream.net
Thursday, March 31, 2005 9:39 PM CST
March 31, 2005
Today is day 30.
Yesterday Micah and I went to visit 5200. It was nice to see some of the nurses and patients and their parents. Two of the patients will be discharged soon. That was good news! Also, Jack is doing well. When the cells start to come in, the patient,especially if you had an unrelated stem cell transplant, gets a fever and a particular rash. So although this is unpleasant it is a good sign. Well, Jack’s mom said, he has a fever, and ‘the’ rash! Praise the Lord. Thank you for your prayers for him. Please continue to pray that the cells would graft, and pray for his mucositis, which is now starting with him as well. He was sweet to come out of his room to see us even though he was not feeling well. Of course, Lydia, was a motivation for him and his mom. Lydia cooperated nicely, by smiling up at them and talking to them. Andre was back from his vacation, so Micah was able to visit him, while I went to visit a few other on the hall and give them some gifts. ( thanks to Margaret)
Micah is doing so well. His counts are good. His magnesium is low, so he is on a supplement, as well as trying to eat foods high in mag. It is a good thing I majored in nutrition, because his nutrition needs are so specific and changing a lot. His potassium is a little high, so he needs to avoid foods high in potassium. Yet they expect it may drop as well. These are caused by the medicines he is taking. His skin GVHD is being controlled by a cream and he has not need to do anything more than that. His skin was actually a little worse today, with skin GVHD, so we have to put on the cream more often. Since his platelets are up. he is able to ride his bike again after a very long time of not being able to. This has been a blessing to him. His hgb has remained pretty stable and he has not needed any transfusions, which is really good. His white blood count was 6.3 today . It had dropped from 24.5 yesterday. The WBC fluctuates a lot because of the drug he takes to stimulate his WB cells. So if they drop below 5 he needs more of the drug. It has been about every other day, but this will be the second day in a row he has not needed it.
Our prayer needs are; To maintain his weight. To keep his magnesium, as well as his other minerals etc at the right level. That his skin GVHD will be able to be controlled with creams, and that it would do the work of killing any remaining leukemia cells. That Micah would be completely restored to good health. That his major organs would not be harmed and that God would restore them to perfect health. That we would have wisdom and discernment as to what needs to be done at our Staley house in order for us to move back, and that we could get the work done. That the other children would have all their needs met. That we would all stay healthy and not carry any germs into the cottage. That we would all press on to know the Lord more and to love Him more.
Many people have asked us how we are able to do this. They say we have so much faith. I have to say, it is not my faith, but God’s Faithfulness and His boundless grace. He pours out His grace on us, never ending. His grace is sufficient for you as well. I have been reading a book by C.H.Spurgeon, Beside Still Waters. I keep coming back to page 12, This is the Bread.
‘’Dear friend, you and I are greatly pardoned. Look at Calvary, and if you can see through your blinding tears, behold the sacrifice. “He has appeared to put away sin by the sacrifice of Himself. And as it is appointed for men to die once, but after this the judgment, so Christ was offered once to bear the sins of many”
( Heb. 9:26-28).
Today, we are journeying through the wilderness toward Canaan. We have great pressing needs. We are poverty itself, and only All-sufficiency can supply us. We need a great abundance of food. The heavenly bread lies around the camp, and we may take our fill (Ex. 16:16). We require rivers of living water, and Jesus gives us a fountain springing up into everlasting life(John 4:14).
We have great demands, but Christ has great supplies. Between here and heaven, we may have greater wants than we have once known. But all along, the journey, every resting place is ready; provisions are laid up, good cheer is stored, and nothing has been overlooked. The commissary of the Eternal is absolutely perfect.
Do you sometimes feel so thirsty for grace that you could drink the Jordan dry? More than a river could hold is given to you, so drink abundantly, for Christ has prepared a bottomless sea of grace to fill you with all the fullness of God. Do not be frugal. Do not doubt your Savior. Do not limit the Holy One of Israel. Be great in your praises of His bounty, and in heaven you will pour great treasures of gratitude at His feet.”
John 6:35-37
35 And Jesus said to them, "I am the bread of life. He who comes to Me shall never hunger, and he who believes in Me shall never thirst. 36 But I said to you that you have seen Me and yet do not believe. 37 All that the Father gives Me will come to Me, and the one who comes to Me I will by no means cast out.
John 4:13-14
13 Jesus answered and said to her, "Whoever drinks of this water will thirst again, 14 but whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst. But the water that I shall give him will become in him a fountain of water springing up into everlasting life."
God’s grace is abundant. Drink of Him today.
Love in Christ. Laura
P.S. So much for keeping it short! ;)
Saturday, March 26, 2005 11:11 PM EST
March 26, 2005 Day 25
Yesterday Laura and Micah went to clinic. We got to see Doctor Martin his primary doctor. The GVHD is spreading up his hands arms, feet, legs and back. There were some spots on his head as well. It looks like a sunburn. Dr, Martin did not think it was bad. He put him on two creams. A little GVHD is good, because it causes Graft vs. leukemia. It destroys any leukemia in his body. Please pray that the GVHD kills all the leukemia cells without causing damage to his any of his organs, skin, or harm him in any way. Too much can be very bad. His feet and legs are the worst. We also got to go visit on 5200. It was a blessing to see several of the nurses. Mandy, Micah’s primary nurse and Michelle another nurse on his team were there. We got to see Jack and Ani, his mom. Please continue to pray for Jack, that this transplant would work and that he would fully recover. I saw Viesta, Frannie’s mom. Frannie is still not doing well. Please continue to pray for healing for Frannie and grace, peace and strength for her mom for each day. Please pray for the Lord to show Himself mighty to Frannie, her Mother and Father and family, and that He would provide for them as He is for us.
We are still getting used to all the pumps and IV meds, and TPN (food in the bag). The TPN runs for 12 hours at night. Dick wanted to know if Micah prayed for his food before we hook him up to that IV. This morning Micah woke up to Jesse cooking pancakes. When we asked him if he wanted any, he replied, “ Yes! I’m starved, I haven’t eaten all night!” We laughed knowing he had been ‘eating’ his TPN for 12 hours.
Mark said” What do you mean, you’ve been eating 12 hours non stop!”
“ No, I haven’t. We forgot to turn on my pump last night, so the bags are still full! I’m hungry” Oh well, no TPN last night.
Well we did not forget to turn on his pump tonight, but we did do something else wrong. Please pray for us that we can get all these meds and pumps and lines right. Nothing we have done has caused a problem, but it does get confusing and we wouldn’t want to make a terrible mistake. Also pray for us to get on a good schedule so we don’t have to wake Micah up to do IV meds, and so we can get everything done early in the morning before clinic. Thing have to be coordinated in order to be done at the proper time. So much has to do with organization. The discharge nurse said that by the time we get it all figured out, we won’t have to do it any more.
Today was an easy day at clinic for Mark and Micah. We dropped off the blood earlier and then they came back for a check up. It was quick. Everything went well.
Micah has been walking everyday. He seems to be feeling pretty well. He gets cold easy and has slight tremors from the medicine. Please pray that he will be protected from the side effects of all the medicine he is taking and that there will be no long term side effects.
Gabriel is getting better. He has been much more active and not really in any pain any more. Please continue to pray for complete healing for him
Jennifer, I will be sure to tell the girls about Aslan and Narnia. I am afraid this may make it even more inviting to them, and they are already fighting about who gets to sleep in the “wardrobe’.
Thanks for the Words of encouragement, Cathy, Shannon and Andra. I am so thankful that no matter what God’s goodness never changes. God is good all the time.
For the word of the cross is foolishness for those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of GOD." 1 Cor.1:18
Praise the Lord for the cross! Thank you Jesus for your power to heal and restore and to save.
Ps 31:19
19 Oh, how great is Your goodness,
Which You have laid up for those who fear You,
Which You have prepared for those who trust in You
In the presence of the sons of men!
2Corinthians 1:20.
20 For all the promises of God in Him are Yes, and in Him Amen, to the glory of God through us.
Hope and Andra thanks for encouraging Micah in His music. I know the Lord has gifted him and I look forward to seeing how the Lord presses him and each one of us, in His wine press, for His glory.
Thanks to all our friends and family who wrote in our guest book. You are all so dear to us and we miss you. Caringbridge web site is a blessing to us in that it keeps us connected with the body of Christ. Thanks to all who have written and prayed for us, even though you don’t know us. God is so good and faithful. Each one of you is important to us and to the body of Christ.
1 Cor 12:20-27
20 But now indeed there are many members, yet one body. 21 And the eye cannot say to the hand, "I have no need of you"; nor again the head to the feet, "I have no need of you." 22 No, much rather, those members of the body which seem to be weaker are necessary. 23 And those members of the body which we think to be less honorable, on these we bestow greater honor; and our unpresentable parts have greater modesty, 24 but our presentable parts have no need. But God composed the body, having given greater honor to that part which lacks it, 25 that there should be no schism in the body, but that the members should have the same care for one another. 26 And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; or if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it.
27 Now you are the body of Christ, and members individually.
Caringbridge also makes it easier to keep people updated . It saves us time. Since we won’t have time to do as many e-mail updates would some of you e-mail our Caringbridge updates to those who don’t get it on the internet. Can someone copy and paste them to Princess Ruby? That would be a blessing. Thanks.
May the Lord bless you on this Resurrection Day. He is Risen!
Love, the Leakes
Thursday, March 24, 2005 10:58 PM EST
Dear family and friends,
Today was the first day of clinic visits. Things went well. It was a very busy day and night. Mark brought Micah. It was a busy day, with a home nurse visit in the morning , drawing blood for labs, starting some IV meds, then to clinic to get a check up, see nurse practitioner and doctor, get cream for Micah's hands and feet, came home for another home health care visit, started 1 IV med, had a late dinner, then started another IV med and then started his 12 hour TPN (IV food), then got everyone to bed. Two girls will sleep in the closet for a while so Micah can have a room and Mark and I can have a bed. The girls were so excited to sleep in the closet.
Prayer requests;
1.Please pray for Micah 's skin, especially hands and feet. The doctor is seeing evidence of graft VS Host Disease on his hands and feet. Please pray that this does not get worse or become a problem.
2. Continue to pray for Gabriel's shingles to be completely healed and protection for the rest of the family.
3. Please pray for the family of the 15 year old boy Landon. We heard the sad news that he passed away this morning. Please pray for comfort and grace for his parents and family. Also pray for the others on the unit. It is very hard when one of the fellow patients dies. Not only does it bring fear, that this could be my child, but we become like family and our hearts really break for one another.
4. Please pray for little Frannie who is struggling with a serious liver disease, brought on by the treatment associated with the bone marrow transplant. Pray for her family who is in need of financial help and support in every way.
We have some pictures on our web site now. Also we'd love to hear from you. Sign our guest book. We will probably be writing our updates only in the caringbridge site for a while instead of e-mail updates.
Good night for now, and tomorrow we are off again for another day of clinic etc, etc,......
Love, Laura and Mark
Let all those that put there trust in God rejoice
Let them ever shout for joy...
Tuesday, March 22, 2005 10:05 PM CST
March 22, 2005
Day 21. WBC 12.8 !!!!!!!! Wow! Priscilla’s cells are going to town. Actually they had some help from medicine that will stimulate Micah’s white blood cells. When they stop the medicine, his counts may drop some, but they are high right now. This is a good thing! The Lord thy God in the midst of thee is Mighty and He will save!
Today was a good day for Micah. He was tired most of the morning, but was able to get his pills down. That is a miracle, because he has about ten and he was nauseated. They had a spring carnival, with games and things for the children today. Jesse and Micah were able to play guitar and mandolin and sing some worship songs for some of the patients, family and staff. God used them in a wonderful way to be a blessing. I felt the presence of the Lord in that place. God ministered His peace through their music to those on the hall. Thank you Jesus for shining your light and showing your love. This was the long awaited ‘concert’ that some of the parents and staff had been asking Jesse and Micah to do. The family support coordinator asked me if Jesse and Micah would come back when Micah was doing better. She said this is what this unit needs. Thank you so much for your prayers. God answered.
Tomorrow is the big day. Micah will be coming home( Durham home). It will be a very, very busy day with packing and then learning and doing home health care after we get home, plus cleaning and getting ready for Micah We are all looking forward to being together. Praise God for all those who were so generous in your giving. God has supplied a wonderful place for our family to be. We will be able to work it out for Micah to have a room of his own, which is necessary at this time. He is going home on IV pumps and lots of pills. He will be out patient in his treatment at this point for another 40 days or so. This is much less than most families, because Micah was blessed to have a sibling( Priscilla)donor. Most families have to live here for 100 days. There are some families who have been here longer than that. One, who is our neighbor at the cottage, has been here for 6 months and they from NY and separated from the other children most of the time.
As for an update on Gabriel, we brought him to Micah’s doctor, Dr. Martin at Duke. He confirmed that Gabriel does have Shingles( the same virus that causes chicken pox in children). This is very unusual for a child his age. Mostly people who get it are over 50. Dr. Martin feels that he probably got it, because he had chicken pox when he was less than a year old. When you get it that young, you do not get a good immunity to it. He will likely not get it again. If any of you have ever had shingles, you know how painful it is. Gabriel is in a lot of pain. Please pray for him. Since Micah already had the chicken pox, he has the virus in his body already and has been getting treated for it, as part of his original protocol. Shingles is transmitted by contact, so he is staying in his room resting away from every one else.( No wrestling) He did have a fever again today.
Please join us in prayer for a 15 year old boy, Landon, on the Pediatric Bone Marrow Transplant Unit. His mother says that his liver is failing, and it is only the Lord who is keeping him alive. Each day is a gift from God. Let us never forget. They are putting him in the Lord’s hands. Please pray for a miracle for Landon and for peace and comfort and grace for his family.
May the Lord bless you and keep you and make His face shine upon you.
Laura
Friday, March 18, 2005 9:28 PM CST
March 18, 2005
Day 17
Praise the Lord. Micah’s white count has gone up to 2.3. His ANC has been above 500 for three days, so now he is officially engrafted. ( One benefit is he doesn’t have to where a mask in the hall way of his unit) Priscilla’s cells are doing their work. God is restoring Micah. Micah did well today after some nausea and vomiting in the morning. He is now off his continuous pain pump and did not have to ask for pain medicine at all today.
Please continue to pray for our household that we would all be well. Gabriel has had a fever the last couple of days, with aches and pains and nausea. Please pray that the Lord would heal him quickly and that no one else would get this. This is especially crucial now because Micah is scheduled to be discharged on Wednesday, of next week, so we all need to be well. We will then all be together at the cottage in Durham. Micah will have daily visits to the hospital clinic, for check ups, blood work, meds, transfusions as needed. They say the days at clinic can be very long and tiring, sometimes as long as 7 hours. Please pray for strength and grace during this time. Also pray that we would learn the homecare, including using the pumps and giving meds and drawing blood, etc. at home. Micah will be on special neutropenic and low lactose diet to decrease the risk of infection and because Micah’s gastrointestinal tract will be sensitive. There is a lot to learn and a lot of changes for our family, but God’s grace is sufficient, and we will be so happy to all be together again, at least at night! Thank you prayer warriors. Laura
Thursday, March 17, 2005 11:48 AM EST
Day 16
Ps62:7,8
In God is my salvation and my glory; The rock of my strength, and my refuge is in God.
Trust in Him at all times, you people;
Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us. Selah
Praise the Lord! Micah's WBC is up again today to 1.5. His ANC(see earlier message for definition) is 1230. This is the second day of an ANC over 500. Thanks you Jesus for your mercies and your lovingkindness. Last night was a tough night. Micah's nose started bleeding about 10:45pm. He got platelets yet he continued to bleed. The doctor came in and got it under control by about 12:20am. This morning he woke up nauseated and having a stomach ache, and is sleeping now. I praise God that He is with us in the night.
Ps 63:3Because Your lovinigkindness is better than life, my lips shall praise You
5 My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness, And my mouth shall praise You with joyful lips.
6When I remember You on my bed, I meditate on You in the night watches.
7 Because You have been my help, Therefore in the shadow of Your wings I will rejoice.
We are a needy people in great need of our wonderful God.If we did not have needs, we would not know that He is our help. He allows us to go through times of trial and suffering, so we can realize how great our need is and to see how much greater is His help. He is our help in times of trouble. Go to Him with your needs, and see that He is your help as well. Blessings to you. Laura
Wednesday, March 16, 2005 7:41 PM EST
3/16/05 Day 15
White cell count is up again. Praise the Lord 0.9
(900x76% neutrophils = 684 ANC)
Micah had some nose bleed trouble off and on this morning, he got a bag of platelets and by around noon the bleeding had stopped. He had most of a slice of pizza at lunchtime and enjoyed that. The doctor says everything looks good and is progressing well. No nausea today and he walked 45 laps. Mid-afternoon he had little audience of nurses listening while he played guitar. They really seem to enjoy it. May God be exalted and souls be drawn to Him. For supper Micah had chips and some apple juice.
God is so good. May our love for Him continue to grow.
Tuesday, March 15, 2005 10:09 PM EST
Sun 3/13/05 Day 12
Yesterday we had been encouraged that Micah’s white count had gone up from <.1 to .1, and mentioned that we had been told not to be discouraged if they were back to <.1 the next day, especially since had gotten Methotrexate.Well, praise the Lord, this morning his white count was again, not <.1 but .1 That was very good to see.
His hemoglobin was low enough this morning that they gave him 2 bags of blood. Later, in the morning his nose began to bleed. He pinched it and layed back to stop the bleeding. Probably was the combination of low platelets and high blood pressure (which is not unexpected and should be only temporary). They gave him platelets and some blood pressure medicine, and there was no more problem with that. Nothing like the trouble he had a few days ago.
Other exciting news today: Micah ate for the first time in about a week and a half. He had a little bag of Fritos. Micah should do a Fritos commercial, huh?
Without trying to make any specific connection with anything going on with Micah, I did want to mention 2 Corinthians 4:6 which I hope will bless you as much as it does me (Mark).
“For it is the God who commanded light to shine out of darkness, who has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.” In v. 4 Paul had spoken of the gospel as being gospel of the glory of Christ, and in Hebrews 1:3 we read of Jesus being the brightness of God’s glory and the express image of His person. It’s just very exciting to consider how God’s glory, which is the very thing God intends to display and the very thing that we as Christians long to behold is so perfectly displayed in our wonderful savior, the Lord Jesus Christ. It’s Jesus we can look at and look to, to be thrilled and amazed at how great and glorious God Almighty is. That, he created us for, so let us go after Him, enjoying His glory, with all our hearts (You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength). “...looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith...”. Hallelujah!
Mon 3/14/05 Day 13
More exciting white count news. Today they’re at .4 (by the way, that’s actually .4x10^3 or 400, but it comes out on the report as .4). For those interested, they did a differential this morning and he’s got 68% neutrophils for an ANC of 272.
Micah walked 40 laps today. Thank you, Lord Jesus
Please pray for Laura. She has felt a cold coming on, and by the end of the day felt that it would be best if she not stay with Micah till she’s better. I (Mark) know that on top of not feeling well because of the cold, it’s very difficult not being able to be with Micah. Jesse also has something of a cold and he’s been staying with Micah some also but can’t now, so please pray for him too. We are making our request to God in the name of our wonderful Lord Jesus for a quick recovery for Laura and Jesse. “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.” -Philippians 4:6.
Tue 3/15/05 Day 14
And again, a good report on Micah’s white cell count: .7 (or 700. 66% neutrophils, ANC=462). Also, his bilirubin is now down to 1.0. Thank you, Lord.
Micah did get nauseated this morning and after taking his 3 oral meds, threw up. He felt better after that, and they gave him some antinausea medicine that makes him sleepy, so he slept for a good while.
Laura’s mother arrived here from New York and is today spending time with the other children. We thank the Lord for her and pray His blessing on her visit.
A number of children on the Pediatric Bone Marrow Transplant Unit have died since we’ve been here. Some of you may wish to pray for the families of these children, even without my giving any names.
Micah hasn’t had any more trouble with nausea so far today and he has been able to take his oral meds. He did need a bag of platelets this afternoon.
He is needing less and less of the pain medicine. He hasn’t hit the button to give himself extra in a while and they are cutting back on the continuous feed.
He decided this evening that he would like to try a slice of pizza, so I got him a fresh, hot slice from the hospital pizzaria and he enjoyed it pretty much. He ate about a third of the slice. The appetite is coming back.
And he walked 35 laps today for a total since he was admitted of 500. That’s over 35 miles! Praise the Lord!
The following is from Laura:
Day 13 and 14
Phil 3:7-11
7 But what things were gain to me, these I have counted loss for Christ. 8 Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ 9 and be found in Him, not having my own righteousness, which is from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which is from God by faith; 10 that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death, 11 if, by any means, I may attain to the resurrection from the dead.
NKJV
What is it about a hospital and especially a bone marrow transplant unit, that makes some people uncomfortable. I think a lot of it is the suffering and the isolation and the giving up of rights. There is real suffering on this unit. I think 4 children from this unit died last week, and one this week. Many are fighting for their lives right now. We are all living in little rooms, sharing a bathroom and a kitchen, in tight quarters. Being on the transplant unit you give up a lot of ‘so-called’ freedoms, yet I believe you gain a lot more real freedom in Christ. We are sharing our hearts, our pain and our fears as well. God is here on 5200, and He is ministering to people here in a mighty way. As a Christian I really have no rights. I give them up and count them loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death. On 5200 Pediatric Bone Marrow unit, many countries are represented in the patients, doctors, nurses etc. Jesus weeps for them all, as He does the whole world. God has given me a love for these people and a greater heart for the world. When you suffer the loss of all things ( I haven’t lost all things ) you really do come to know our Lord more. You come to see what is really important in life. I pray that I will never forget this lesson. I am so thankful to see Micah’s content and peaceful attitude here at the hospital. It gives me such joy to see him not upset about being confined to such small quarters and to handle the pain and suffering so well. Micah has not suffered like many of the children have and are, but he has suffered much more than I ever have, and through this, has come to know the fellowship of His sufferings. The battle is not won yet, but we are winning, in more ways than one. God is giving the victory in our hearts, to make us more conformed to His death.
Micah’s white blood count was up to .4 today (3/14). He ate Fritos corn chips and drank 12 oz of water. The dose of his pain medicine was lowered. We are so thankful to God for all of this. He is having to have more blood pressure medicine though and medicine for his high bilirubin levels. Please pray for lower blood pressure and protection from the high blood pressure. Please continue to pray for Micah to be free of infection, to continue to grow Priscilla cells, and not Micah cells, to be protected from GVHD. Pray for our family to get well. Several of us now have colds. I ( Laura) have a little bit of a cold and will not be able to be with Micah until I am better.
Here is a definition of Graft Verses host Disease (GVHD):
A condition that can occur following an allogeneic transplant in which some of the donor’s stem cells attack the patient’s tissues and organs. New stem cells recognize the body as foreign and react against it. There ar two types of GVHD., acute and chronic. Acute phase starts between 12-50 days after transplant. It may affect skin, intestinal tract, bone marrow, liver and other organs. It varies from mild to severe. it is first detected by skin changes, an itchy red rash on palms of hands and soles of feet, bright red blisters, inflamed skin. Intestinal reactions include cramping, , diarrhea, nausea, vomiting, shedding of the intestinal lining. Functioning of the liver can also be impared. certain medicines help prevent GVHD. Acute GVHD can turn into a chronic form which occurs after 100 days of transplant and targets, skin, intestinal tract, liver as well as other organs.
Saturday, March 12, 2005 10:47 PM EST
Sat 3/12/05 Day 11
Everything seemed to be going fine this morning, but after Micah got out of bed and had been up for a few minutes, he began to feel nauseated and threw up. We also found out this morning that he was going to need to be taking 2 new medicines, both which needed to be taken by mouth. We wondered if he would be able to get them down and keep them down. The one, Actigall is to treat his slightly elevated bilirubin level. The doctors aren’t real concerned about this, but the Actigall will help to clear out his liver. It can get a little clogged due to him not eating. The other medicine is Neurontin, to treat neuropathy. They say that’s what’s causing the burning in his feet and hands and this should help. They say this should only be temporary and aren’t greatly concerned about it. Anyway, sure enough, just minutes after swallowing these 2 pills, right back up they came. They gave Micah another antinausea medicine which also made him sleepy and he slept a while. Laura asked if possibly there was a liquid form of these meds, and Micah did fine with those. Praise the Lord.
Micah also got his last dose of Methotrexate today. He’s not having any trouble with that so far. This is the chemo that causes the mucositus, but they will be giving him another medicine starting tomorrow to help offset some of the side affects of it, so it may be, that problem won’t be getting worse. Let’s pray it won’t.
A pleasant surprise this morning: The report we get every morning showing the results of his lab work, has indicated for quite some time that his white cell count is <.1 which basicly means they can’t find any. This morning it showed up as .1. That’s not a lot, but it does indicate some! They told us not to become discouraged if tomorrow it’s back to <.1, especially since he got the Methotrexate today. Praise the Lord for signs of cell growth.
This afternoon, the whole family came to Duke and while Jesse stayed with Micah, the rest of us walked over to the gardens on campus. They’re really very beautiful and it was a great day to be out in the very pleasant weather. We had a very nice time.
Micah walked a total of 20 laps on the floor today.
The Lord is so very good to us and He is due all thanks and praise. In all things, may our God be exalted in the name of the wonderful Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ! Every Knee shall bow and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord. (Philippians 2).
Friday, March 11, 2005 10:43 PM EST
Fri 3/11/05 Day 10
Today, after a fairly uneventful morning, Micah thew up after a few sips of water. He hadn’t really been feeling nauseated, but the water just didn’t set well with him. He didn’t have any more trouble with that.
He walked a total of 35 laps today. We thank the Lord for all the walking he’s doing. He mentioned today some burning sensation in his feet, which he really notices when he walks. He’s also had some burning in certain areas of his hands.
We continue to give thanks to the Lord for His wonderful mercy and love, His stedfast faithfulness to His people, on which we depend. O, the glories of our wonderful Lord Jesus!
Thursday, March 10, 2005 2:16 PM EST
DAY 9 (3/10/05)
Today I (Laura) was reading in Numbers 33 and was especially struck by verses 50-56 about the instructions for the Conquest of Canaan and how it relates to the cancer in Micah’s body.
52 then you shall drive out all the inhabitants of the land from before you, destroy all their engraved stones, destroy all their molded images, and demolish all their high places;
55 But if you do not drive out the inhabitants of the land from before you, then it shall be that those whom you let remain shall be irritants in your eyes and thorns in your sides, and they shall harass you in the land where you dwell.
The point of all the chemotherapy and radiation before transplant was to destroy and demolish all Micah’s bone marrow and immune system so that no more leukemia cells are left. We want all those leukemia cells gone in Jesus’ name. Then we want Priscilla’s cells to conquer and posses Micah’s body,. We want only her cells left growing strong.
Please join the battle by praying for Micah during this time that:
1) All of Micah’s cells will be destroyed.
2) That Micah would be protected from infection during the time he has no defense , while he has about 0 white blood cells.
3) That the Lord would protect Micah against bleeding and high blood pressure and damage to his lungs, liver, kidneys and other organs while Micah has low platelets and red blood cells. That his body would be protected from the intense chemotherapy and radiation he had.
4) That Priscilla’s cells would graft, without causing graft vs. host disease and would be strong and healthy in Micah.
5) Please pray that we would continue to grow in the Lord and that Micah and all of us would experience the presence of the Lord and hold tight to Jesus.
6) Pray for protection and peace for the children at home and that each one would know how special they are and important in the kingdom of God.
7) Please pray that all sin would be destroyed and demolished in us, and that we could be vessels of mercy and grace.
Last night, Micah slept good. Because of all the mucous, they have given him a device (much like a dentist would use) to suction it out whenever he needs to. It seems that since all the bleeding yesterday, he has had much less mucous. We thank the Lord for that. In past nights he has had to suction fairly often, which makes for a less restful night, but last night he had to suction very little. They gave him another bag of platelets last night. His temperature was up slightly early last night and the nurse suggested that possibly they would have to draw blood and do cultures, but his temperature has returned to normal, so more to give thanks to our gracious Father for.
Micah has not eaten anything for a number of days, due to lack of appetite and the mucositus makes it very uncomfortable to swallow. This is totally to be expected and he's getting all his nourishment and calories through his central line (IV). Pray for wisdom and grace for him to begin eating (and drinking) when it would be good for him to.
We love you all and will be praying for you as well. Keep sending us your prayer requests so we can do battle for you. God is mighty!
Love, Laura and Mark and family.
Thursday, March 10, 2005 2:12 PM EST
One slight correction to yesterday's entry: Micah didn't exactly throw up blood, it was more like he coughed it up from his throat.
Also, by the end of yesterday (3/9) Micah had walked 30 laps (over 2 miles). Praise the Lord! Everyone is very pleased with Micah's walking and it should help him stay healthy and recover better. They give him little (about 1 inch long) plastic feet with a hole in the heel to slide over a shoestring for every 5 (I think) laps Micah completes. He's got quite a stack of feet on his shoestring.
The doctor who came in yesterday to check Micah seems very pleased with how he's doing. He seemed surprised that Micah is not needing more pain medicine than he's been getting, but Micah has assured us he's not in any significant pain. He also said that the numbers that had come back from the lab on Priscilla's bone marrow were very good. She had an abundance of stem cells which is what Micah needs. They like to see the stem cell numbers in a certain range, and hers were towards the high end of that range. Praise the Lord.
Wednesday, March 9, 2005 9:32 PM EST
Today is day 8. The last couple of days Micah has had a few complications.Yesterday Micah had high blood pressure, which they got under control with medicine. He's had low platelets and has needed transfusions often. Today he had a lot of bleeding and threw up blood. It was a little scary. They were able to stop the bleeding and gave him at least two bags of platelets. They are going to try to keep the platelets higher than they had been. The bleeding and high blood pressure are very common and expected. They did conclude that he did not have blood in his lungs which we are thankful for. He will continue to need blood and platelet transfusions until Priscilla's cells grow. Micah is much more tired, and sleeps a lot. All in all things are going very well. We have a lot to be thankful for. The fact that Micah has a matched sibling donor really makes things so much better for Micah. Children are such a blessing and a gift from the Lord. We are so blessed. Thanks so much for your notes and letters etc. It has been a blessing. Please pray for our witness to all we meet, that we would show forth the goodness of God, that He would be glorified in all we do and say. Pray for Jesse and Micah as the Lord gives them opportunity to worship the Lord on the unit. God is Faithful and good. The Lord is my Healer. God bless you all. We love you and miss you. Laura
Monday, March 7, 2005 12:02 AM CST
Today is day 6. Last night was my(Laura)and Lydia's first night with Micah. The Lord really blessed. After Lydia's usual crying at night she went to sleep at about 10:15 and slept till 6:30. This was the longest she had slept! Micah on the other hand was awake a lot with having to get rid of the mucous. Early this morning Micah got some blood. He has gotten platelets three times. His mucositis is worse today, but they are controlling it with meds. No fever today! Praise the Lord! If this continues they will be able to take him off one of the antibiotics. Micah walked 10 lap so far. Someone suggested that when Micah does his laps he can think about walking around the walls of Jerico. Through our God we will do valiently. We will get the victory because God always wins. He is always victorious. The battle is the Lord's. Micah just received some chemo. One more dose to go. It is hard on the mucositis. Please continue to pray for Jack, our neighbor,who will need another transplant. Please pray for a good match and that this next one will work. He is a brave boy! Thanks so much for all the ways you have been blessing us. The meals have been delicious and plenty. The financial gifts have been a huge blessing.We look forward to the words of encouragement. Your prayers have been getting us through. God's grace is being poured out on us. He is a great and awesome God. His mercies are new every morning. Great is his faithfulness. May the love of Christ fill you today. Laura
Sunday, March 6, 2005 10:34 PM EST
Day 5
Thank you so much for your prayers. Mark is so much better. He still is not quite ready to be able to spend the night with Micah but hopefully soon. It is very hard for him to have to stay away from Micah.
Yesterday was a tough day. Micah was in a lot of pain, but they now have him on some pain medicine which controls it pretty well. He can talk some, but it is very painful to swallow, so he is not eating. He hasn't eaten or drank since Wed.,until today he had a sip of water, but it was so painful to swallow he hasn't had more.
Priscilla is still tired and weak, but the fever is gone. I think she feels a lot better.
Last night Jesse spent his third night here. Jesse played his guitar and Micah played the mandolin and played some worship songs before I left. They are getting to have quite an audience of nurses listening outside the door. Please pray for their witness here. I was so blessed with that time of worship with them and I am so thankful for the good things God is doing in their lives. Today we are on day +5. That means it is the 5th day after transplant. Transplant day (March 1 for Micah) is day 0. The goal, as I have said before is to get to day 100 with out any active graft vs host disease, or infection or relapse. Yesterday Micah had a fever of 101.5 and they drew cultures on all three of the lumens from the Hickman central line and also drew from his port to see if he has an infection in any of those. If it is positive we should hear tonight. Since he has no defense against infection, they started him on two antibiotics.
Things are pretty peaceful right now. Micah and Lydia are sleeping.
Micah continues to do well with his walking. He walked 20 laps today (14 laps is about 1 mi). He had walked 10 laps yesterday.
Mark's comments:
Josiah and I went to visit Micah this afternoon and what a blessing that was! After hearing so much about how painful the mucositus is and when I would talk to him on the phone it was obvious it was difficult for him to speak, it was so good to come into his room and find him smiling and cheerful. Praise the Lord. Laura tells me that he actually was feeling much worse yesterday. That today they have gotten it better under control with medication. That they expect that the pain would get worse for several days, but they will continue to increase the medication so he hopefully won't actually feel much more than he is now.
Priscilla actually seems much better. Almost back to her usual, energetic, lively self. She's not wanting to lie around now, she has enjoyed riding her bicycle, and is now walking fairly normally. No fevers.
God bless you all. We appreciate you so much. We are so blessed with all the steadfast and ongoing prayer, the encouraging words, the concern and the material and practical help that so many directed our way. Our God is awesome and glorious.
1 Peter 1:3-9
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His abundant mercy has begotten us again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4 to an inheritance incorruptible and undefiled and that does not fade away, reserved in heaven for you, 5 who are kept by the power of God through faith for salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.
6 In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, 7 that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ, 8 whom having not seen you love. Though now you do not see Him, yet believing, you rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory, 9 receiving the end of your faith -- the salvation of your souls.
NKJV
Love,
Laura, Mark and the whole gang
Friday, March 4, 2005 9:35 AM CST
Thank you so much for your prayers. I can not express how very much they mean to us. God is blessing us in so many ways. Doctors and medicine are a gift from the Lord. I am thankful for all the wonderful nurses and doctors that we have at Duke and have had at Baptist. They are such caring people and some very brilliant people. God has blessed us with a good team.. The nurses sign up to be on certain patients team. Several of the nurses have said Micah's team filled up so fast and they all want Micah, because he is so nice and pleasant to take care of and so are his parents ;) They love to hold Lydia. Some have said they could hold her all day, she is so therapeutic. (especially after taking care of sick babies, you realize what a blessing it is to have a healthy baby, so she gets kidnapped a lot)). Even the patients and parents love Lydia. One 10 year old loves her and likes to take pictures of her and touch her. He is so sweet. He has been there a very long time and his cells are not growing. Please pray for him, that his donor cells would grow.The parents and children all are helpful to one another. We become like a big family in a way. As great as the doctors are I see so clearly it is God's mighty hand that brings blessing and health to our bones. If it were not for His mercies we would all be consumed.
Lam 3:22-25
22 It is of the LORD's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.
23 They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.
24 The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him.
25 The LORD is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.
KJV
Prov 3:5-8
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
6 In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths.
7 Do not be wise in your own eyes;
Fear the LORD and depart from evil.
8 It will be health to your flesh,And strength to your bones.
NKJV
Prayer requests
1. Pray for Priscilla's complete healing and restoration. She still has a fever and is in a lot of pain. I think about how the Lord suffered and died and shed His blood for our life, and Priscilla has shed her blood(bone marrow) and suffered, but not died, for Micah's life. What a gift God has given her to give to Micah.
2.Pray for Micah's trouble with mucositis. ( this is where the lining of his mouth and whole digestive system all the way through, is destroyed and sloughs off. It is very painful and he can not eat or drink.) Pray that he will quickly be able to eat and drink again.
3.Pray for Micah that he would not get any infections or graft vs. host disease. He is now at the most critical time. He has no defense at all against any infection. His white blood cell count is about 0. His immune and bone marrow is completely wiped out and will be until Priscilla's cells begin to grow in him. He is very susceptible to all types of infections, bacterial, viral and fungal, any of which could be very serious.
4.Pray that no matter how bad Micah feels, he will be able to exercise, to strengthen all his organs which are at such risk right now.
5. Pray that Micah's heart would be towards the Lord and that all of God's good purposes in suffering would come forth in Micah's life.
6. Continue to ask for protection for Micah's body from any of the drugs he's receiving.
7. Continue to pray that Micah would be completely and forever healed of leukemia. Pray that if any leukemia cells remain, that Priscilla's cells soon to be growing in Micah's body would attack and kill them.
8.Pray for Mark's complete healing. He has a cold and will not be able to stay with Micah if he is sick.( Jesse is with Micah right now)
9. Pray for Laura, that she will not get sick and that Jesse, who is also staying with Micah at night some, would also not get sick.
10. Pray for the rest of the children, that their needs would be met. That, they would be content and would behave well under trying circumstances. That they would stay healthy and would grow in their relationship and love for the Lord.
Love,
The Leakes
Wed, Mar 2, 2005
Dear Friends,
Thanks for the encouraging notes some have sent to Micah. He is doing well and storing up lots of walking for the days when he does not feel like it. He even played his guitar today, which was a blessing. One of the nurse practitioners can play the mandolin and said he would bring his and play with Micah while he is here. Micah had just bought one and hoped to learn while in the hospital.
Please pray for Priscilla. She has had low grade fevers , between 101, and 102 the past two nights, and threw up last night and had bad stomach pains. The doctors say it is probably from the anesthesia. Her harvest sites look good and are not infected. She is very tired and has low hgb, which we did expect.Thanks.
We love you all.
Love, Laura
Mon, Mar 1, 2005
Today was the Bone marrow transplant. Everything went well. Priscilla was very brave. She was very wiped out and not feeling so good today, but I think she will be a lot better tomorrow. Micah did not have any trouble with receiving the bone marrow. It took 5 hours to go in. He was able to be unhooked from his three IV pumps for an hour afterward, so he walked the halls, 2 miles. I heard from Mark that he walked more tonight. I think he is trying to beat the record of 26 miles during his 4-6 weeks at Duke. He has to exercise every day as part of his routine. The doctor told him he can have one day of rest.
Now we wait for him to grow cells. He will be given a lot of medicine to protect from infection and graft vs. host disease. Tomorrow is day 1 post transplant. The goal is to get to day 100 without any active infection or graft vs. host disease or relapse.
We thank you all for your love and prayers and support.
Love, Laura and Mark
Tue, Mar 1, 2005
Priscilla did very well today.She is wiped out and in some pain, but I think she'll be a lot better tomorrow. Micah had no problems with receiving the bone marrow. Please continue to pray as the cells find their way to Micah's bones and pray that they will grow cells! As they say on 5200 Duke Pediatric Bone Marrow unit, GROW CELLS GROW!
Thanks so much for your prayers, words of encouragement, gifts, financial help and all the meals etc.
Jesse and Micah both have xanga sites, and Jesse keeps updates on Micah for those interested. Micah writes when he can. Jesse has a couple of pictures from today.
God bless you all.
Love, Laura
Mon, Feb 28, 2005
Thank so much for your prayers. Micah just finished 5 days of radiation and 2 days of intense chemo. He will have a bone marrow transplant tomorrow. He was very sick this weekend , but so much better today. Praise God !
Thank you for putting Micah on your prayer lists. I know Micah is being prayed for by so many people.God has been so good to us and has poured out His grace. It is all in the Lord's hands! He is our healer. We give him all the glory.
Please pray for Priscilla as she goes in tomorrow to have her bone marrow harvested:
1 That she would not fear, but trust the Lord and draw close to Him and feel His presence and have His peace.
2. That the Lord would give the doctors skill, as they harvest the bone marrow.
3. That she would not have any trouble with the anesthesia.
Please pray for Micah:
1. That he would love the Lord more and draw closer to Him, and that our whole family would draw nearer to the Lord and glorify Him in everything.
2. That Priscilla's bone marrow would grow cells in Micah quickly(it can take 2-4 weeks)
3. That there would be minimal pain and nausea.
4. That graft vs. host disease would be minimal or not at all.
5.For the Lord's protection against infection while his immune and bone marrow is wiped out .
6. That Micah would get to day 100 post transplant without active graft vs. host disease or active infection, or relapse.
7. For Micah's total healing of leukemia and protection from serious long term side effects from all the treatment.
We love you all,
with the love of Christ,
who died and suffered for us,
that we may have
eternal life.
Mark and Laura, Micah and family
Tuesday, March 1, 2005 6:22 PM CST
Test 5
Tuesday, February 26, 2005 6:21 PM CST
test 4
Tuesday, March 1, 2005 6:20 PM CST
test 3
Tuesday, March 1, 2005 6:19 PM CST
test 2
Sunday, February 27, 2005
Test 1
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