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There are purposes that you cannot perceive or comprehend. You may never understand - at least not in this life - but you must never let go of your faith.
Dr. James Dobson
Hebrews - 11:1
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
Journal
Friday, December 12, 2008 8:43 PM CST I cannot believe another year has gone by. I sure wish the old saying was true that time heals the pain, but truth is... it only gives you a little more grace to learn how to handle each day and cope.
The pain stays the same, yet I have to remind myself that God also bore the same pain I have to, so He knows how to help me and He has helped me. Not only me, but our family that also hurt.
In these last few days, we've taken time to remember you and how much of a difference you made in so many lives. You made us laugh, cry, and rejoice... all at the same time. Just yesterday, I was really missing you and had sent your favorite cousin, Amy an email thanking her boyfriend, Alfred and his father for leading the funeral procession with your favorite hot rod cars and we began to chat about you. Just as the tears of sorrow began to flow, she sent me an email reminding me of a time you made us laugh sooo hard! First of all, she began to remind me of how you always wanted to be right in the middle of all the good that was going on, even though you didn't feel like being there and you hardly had the strength to lift your head. We talked about the night that we carried you to by garden tub and filled it with bubbles to keep you covered then we sat round the tub with the massive amount of bubbles to try to cheer you up. You could barely speak, you were so weak, but when we put bubbles on the sides of your bald head and a little patch on your chin, Amy said to you, "Derkey, you look just like Pappy off of the movie, Lil Abner!" And you slowly raised your weak little hand and quoted him with a very soft, "I has spoken!" We immediately began to laugh and we laughed for days over that one.
My, I could go on and on and on with memories. We miss you, Baby, but it won't be long until we all are together again. Aren't you proud of Caleb and Kerri and how hard they are working on their education? They love you so much. Caleb wrote an essay and talked about how much your journey influenced him and Kerri talks about you to everyone. Gary doesn't refer to you as Derek, but as his personal hero. Baby Matthew said he saw you at Caleb's basketball game the other night. Thank you for checking in with us. Sometimes we are so old and of a carnal mind that we cannot begin to see what innocent little children are able to see. Thats why the Bible says if we could only humble ourselves as a little child, then we could see a lot more. Matthew, Derrick & Beth love you so much. Aunt Sasah and Timmy talk about you all the time, as does Richard, Kim, Lauren... oh and isn't Jason and Sara's new baby so beautiful? Our family continues to grow, as you can see. David, Katie, Becca and Ethan are with your Mamaw and Papaw. They got too lonely living by themselves. Your grandparents love you very much! Your story is spread everywhere they go.
We love you, Derek and miss you very much. Thank you for gracing our lives with your 13 years of life. God could have easily loaned you to another family, but he blessed ours with you. We all love you soooooo much.
Until we meet again.....
Love Mom
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