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Monday, January 21, 2013 1:52 PM CST 11 years ago today, we were getting ready for mitch to have his tumor removed.. same day we found it. some days its hard to believe its been that long then some days it feel like forever since i seen him. i have a video of mitch on my ipod of him laughing ... just short like 8 seconds but its wonderful to hear it.
I`m at a loss for words , nothing describes how you feel on these days.. today i tried to forget it ...try to keep the good days instead, that never works.I just remember him the day ...pick myself back up ...smile because he loved me .. he was and still his my son...I`m forever thankful for every minute I had with him.
Sunday, April 29, 2012 7:52 AM CDT How life has changed , 9 years tommorw Mitchell died I honestly think this gas been my healing year, hmmm healing ,excepting year . I finally come to grasp that there's not a thing I can do to change anything that has changed the last 9 years , but I can change what's happening now . I feel different I still miss Mitch like crazy still think of him just as much but I think it's ok to be happy , finally in more than 10 years I actually feel good physically and mentally , what a long healing process that doesn't get easier , more excepting .everyone is good Hannah is now 5 starting school in the fall , Archie is the same so to speak I believe he is at his healing point, he's actually helped me with a few pep talks. Me I had a car accident last year I'm doing fine some minors problems that I believe has changed my future and my job I was at for 15 years, my thought has been to get into some human resources course and go from there I thought of doing something with palliative care, sky's the limit ..... Well Mitch same time tommorw 6 pm , Hannah wants to send you pink balloons so you know there from her... Miss you as always love you forever... With you on my side the sky's the limit . Love ya buddy xox
Friday, April 29, 2011 10:02 PM CDT 12:05 am.... Still up ,my mind won't shutdown ,maybe if I write it it will help .8 long years without Mitch, live has changed so much, in a good way ,except for the few "friends" that we have lost along the way. Mitch is still an ever reminding presence I will always carry with me,Mitch still is a daily reminder that life is precious ,worth stopping to smell the roses,enjoying those dandelions from hannie picked ... I let hannah jump in puddles today... Because she could, who cares if she gets wet,lesson learned again from mitch, do you know how much it brought me around today just letting her do that! I'm once again able to enjoy life not feeling to guilty anymore, Mitch would want us to.it's amazing how powerful a child can be with a heart as big as Mitchs .For 1day think of something did or said to make you smile... Arch and I have reminisced about Mitch for the last week,beautiful memories I cherish . Just the other day I remembered his laugh.... I can hear it when I think about him, I think I might be able to sleep, fighting back tears but mixed tears...
Mitch you are my angel. ,hmm never said that before huh... Thankyou for being you, being there for me when I was to weak, love you always ,miss you forever mom:) xo
Tommorw. 6 pm ....as every year
Friday, March 25, 2011 4:16 PM CDT today we say goodbye with tears to our beloved Trooper...Mitchs best friend , We got trooper as a pup he was 6 weeks old it was in 1994... Mitch was 3.
Mitch has his buddy back again... broken hearted we are but you belong to Mitch now.. run free trooper catch up on old times with Mitch.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011 3:29 PM CST 20 Years , Mitchell Thomas Joseph Fraser was born... I always wondered what it would be like , Would I celebrate it with him, would he off with friends or a girlfriend? Would he off in college somewhere. All unanswered questions, thoughts and feelings... Today on his birthday, its a normal day, Hannah off to preschool, Arch fixing his brakes , Me cleaning the house, not one of us breathing a word of his birthday, we all know but for an odd reason, today is one of those days its too hard to talk about it... Hes simply missed today,A little more than normal.
So I`ll do what any grieving mom does, paint a fake smile , go on with my day but the minute I take time to think all by myself... the tears roll.
Mitch.. my wonderful son.. my buddy , happy birthday in heaven ,Miss you lots as always, I`m so proud of you!!
Friday, December 31, 2010 6:45 PM CST Almost 2011.... well few more hours...3.
Mitchell makes me wonder what holds out for 2011... 2010 was`nt a bad year, i would honestly have to say this was the best christmas since you been gone.. still cant type the ""D"" word.. ugh.. its how I get threw it.Not lots under the tree but lots of love, Hannah has been and still is a blessing.
MItch your tree stood threw all those wind storms .. not really any snow yet, thats good, they actually kept the cemetry open until the 24....made me a little sad.. but we hop the chain and still go up to see you. Hannie put the star on the tree this year .. too cute she is... shes another one of my greatest things in my life , I have 2 great kids, I just learned how to deal with it differently... I`m sitting here typing away and i can here her squeeling in the living room about fireworks or something... ooo she just came this way... singing .. in a one horse sloping sliegh... same version as you and uncle burt... ok my forever shining bright star I love you . xoxo mom
Tuesday, April 27, 2010 6:07 PM CDT Almost 7 years Mitch, I have been rethinking the past years trying to figure out where most of them went, some days it feels like you been gone forever and other days it was like it was yesterday. Your still missed the same, grieved the same, thought about the same...just missed.
Hannah is now 3 god how some days she reminds me of you ...her attitude and other days not at all, mitch I don`t think she gonna be a tomboy, shes all girl.She asks about you sometimes , where you are , she asked the other day why the dr. couldnt fix you, its what we told her. then she proceeded with a ""thats sad"" she says that alot.
We wil be sending ballons up again this year ,probably never stop it ...i dont know, i still think of you as a 12 year old, its hard to imagine you at 19!! so I`ll keep you in my thoughts as my lil man, its easier that way.
Along with the ballons I send you my love, I hope to feel the warmth of your hug as the days of your anniversary near closer, I feel your preseence lately..Its a good thing,It keeps me sane...On that note..I`m smiling , lets keep it that way before I shed more tears, love you loads, missing you forever . Mom xox
Perhaps they are not the stars, but rather openings in Heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy.
Author Unknown
Monday, February 15, 2010 7:21 AM CST Happy Birthday Mitchellyou would of been 19 today , we have a cake for you my sunshine...green one.. were heading to nanny and grampys today for your birthday too...love ya loads xoxoxox Mom,Dad and hannah
Thursday, December 31, 2009 9:46 PM CST 2010.... in about 15 minutes mitch, this probably would of been your good year, your favortie number is 10...So I`m going to make this my favorite year for you, for me, for the whole family .
Mitch your the best son I could ever ask for I love you so much , thank you for everything you have ever taught me and thatnkyou for continuing to teach me... except spelling :) ... see I meven better at being a smartass.
Thank you for keeping your prayers with my good friend and her lil boy that just had a brain tumor removed and was begnin.
thank you for just being there to talk to
love you always and forever
mom xox
Monday, November 23, 2009 1:34 PM CST Ahh MItch is been awhile but really it hasnt...i log almost daily when I`m not chasing hannah or working ... or doing something in my what seems to be ""normal"" life.
I was goint threw pics of you the other day and does hannah ever look like you !!i think she even has some of your personality.
As I got looking threw them I found 1 pic of you ,you might of been 2 running in nannys house not a stitch of clothing on ,one hand in the air and one on your ...ummm weenie!! All i thought was that would of been cute to show your girlfriend when you got older .
A friend of yours had a baby in september and i finally just went to see her about 2 weeks ago I was told she named the baby after you and it freaked me out a little, not a bad freak out ,it was like i thought why would sara do that ii thought afetr you being gone for 6 1/2 years most of your friends would of forgotten ...boy was a wrong and It made me feel very overwhelmed with emotions. Just because your gone your not forgotten.
same as here I havent wrote in here since april and 1 person lef a message in the guestbook by the ticker people are still popping in ....probably to look at your hansome face!! maybe I show off that baby pic...lol no I won`t buddy loveya forever ,missing you always xox mom
Sunday, April 26, 2009 5:29 PM CDT Hard to believe....
That in 4 days it will be 6 years since you have be gone ... 6 years long years. I have been thinking of your mile stones and graduation would of been this year ,I think I might go if I can get a ticket. It feels right to go ,a sense that you would be there too.
As for your anniversary ...your never to old for balloons...right? you would say yes...well same time as last year 6pm.
MItch as crazy as life is...we still miss you ever more,hannah gets excited when we go see you. we pull into the graveyard she goes""" yeah go see mitchell""" shes loves ya buddy.
I got a new tattoo, its chinese writing of son and daughter and son has a loo of green around it and pink around daughter.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009 4:31 PM CST I Wrote Your Name
I wrote your name on a piece of paper, but by accident I threw it away.
I wrote your name on my hand, but it washed away.
I wrote your name in the sand, but the waves whispered it away.
I wrote your name in my heart, and forever it will stay.
forever and ever everytime we go to the beach we alwys write your name in the sand and when your name starts to wash away its time to go
love ya always
Wednesday, February 25, 2009 4:30 PM CST I Wrote Your Name
I wrote your name on a piece of paper, but by accident I threw it away.
I wrote your name on my hand, but it washed away.
I wrote your name in the sand, but the waves whispered it away.
I wrote your name in my heart, and forever it will stay.
Saturday, February 14, 2009 7:07 AM CST 18 tommorw !! 12 forever I can`t imagine MItch at 18... still a 4 wheeler nut I think into wrestling... a book worm getting ready for college ...could of been a high school drop ... could of been a dad !! Ones thing for sure no matter what life you would of chose or what path you would of took I would of been behind him one step of the way!!
Makes you wonder how we would of spent your birthday tommorw , ones thing for sure it would of been nice not to spend it at the cementry , to spend it with you, its the way life got dealt ...crappy , but I have learned to except that I only had you for 12 years and life has been changed , the one thing I can promise you is that your never forgotten , always remembered , everyday not just birthdays and anniversaries, I love you as much as I did that night you left ...probably more...yup more ...mmm I`m smiling ... Its that warm feeling you love me too!!
Happy birthday my wonderful son !! my only lil boy..hugs up to heaven to the moon and back.. love you forever and always ...mom
Saturday, November 1, 2008 11:39 AM CDT Its been a while since I left a journal in here ...I think for the most part is lifee is getting back to normal , our normal will always be missing mitch, every sunday at the cemetry even the holidays have`nt change in the last 5 1/2 years except now that hannah is here and we have holiday cheer again...
I ahve been thinking long and hard to close the site, but I feel like I`m closing a chapter in mitch life so I`m still pondering it. no one signs the guestbook anymore..and no it does`nt mean you have to the ticker and the bottom of the page still tells me people peek in on mitchs site, and I thankyou for that!
So on a note life is still the same , mitch absense is still and everyday reminder to live life enjoy it ..have a belly laugh its good for the soul, hug your kids tighter...god I have tears in my eyes right now but I`m not sure if its because I miss mitchs hugs or so lucky to have hannah to squeeze a lil tighter !!
one other lil special thing was done for me ( for arch) ...ever since hannah came along I always was just a little sad that I would never have a picture of my kids together..a friend at work got his granfather( which is 87) sketched this for me from 2 different pictures!!
Hannah and me did the wishmaker parade this year again raising money in memory of mitchell.
Mitch love ya to the moon my sunshine during the day, my moon light at night...loving you ever more xox mom
Friday, July 11, 2008 10:07 AM CDT Mitch I did it ..I got a tattoo for you buddy!! i know you would of been so proud of me. I tell you it hurt something terrible I tried not to move ...it was hard but I just kept thinking of everything you have gone threw and I did it ..just for you
Thursday, April 24, 2008 8:12 PM CDT 5 th year ...how do you word it? my 5th year living without one of my priceless gems , 5 years with a piece of my heart gone ...5 years but then it feels like 20 . I miss everything about mitch ,every little detail about him , the beautiful eyes he had ,you could see his soul in his eyes, his hair after it grew in from radition... feels just like hannahs now, he infectious smile , I mourn for his laugh but nearing his anniversary its hurts to much to hear. Do I still mourn for Mitch ...yes he was a part of me, when he smiled I smiled , when he laughed I laughed...when he cried ,..I cried.
After 5 years it still hurts but I go on knowing Mitch would want me to, I enjoy his baby sister hannah because he would want me to I enjoy her from the life lesson mitch has taught me..never take life for granted ,life live like you were dying. I don`t think mitch knew how his life would change people I know it did me and I thank him everyday for the 12 years 2 months and 15 days he has given me I thank god for the blessing of a wonderful son he has given to arch and I ...
MItchell continue to watch over hannah,keep us in your hearts as much as you are in ours!! we miss you so much mitch...remember balloons at 6pm buddy, hannah even gets to send you some up this year. She loves visiting you she will stand at your picture and say ""brob ber"" yes mitch brother and a great big brother you are!! I put a video of hannah saying ""brob ber""
love ya to the moon and back
Sunday, March 16, 2008 12:30 AM CDT There mitch I changed your page again ..now my time is up again ..still got to pack up hannah and go to visit with big brother..dad got her waving like you its to cute mitch...lots of people say she looks just like you!! I say theres only one you she has some of your features but hannah is hannah and mitch is mitch I better boogey mitch love ya bunches ya know!!!
Friday, February 15, 2008 9:29 AM CST HAPPY BIRTHDAY MITCHELL!!!wow you would of been 17!! I wanna get you balloons later but dad wants to get fireworks...so you wil probably get both!! love ya lots ..love ya more each passing day....xox happy birthday buddy
Sunday, February 10, 2008 3:08 PM CST Holy Hannah Mitch by the time I get your page the way I like it I run out of time almost ....Hannah is napping so I came down here to fix up you page with hearts ..It should be with balloons because your birthday is the day after ...you would of been 17 this year ...HOLY HANNAH !!! lol I still say that all the time but of course poor hannah liiks at me every time I say it ...of cousre I have to laugh
Mitch I miss you buddy..short and to the point isnt it...love ya lots miss you ever more! and I`m hoping to get back in here before your birthday to Wish you a Happy birthday but If I don`t you know I havent forgotten were up at the cementry eating cake...lol some people must think were nuts :) ...dont bug me a bit..its all for my boy!! love ya buddy
Sunday, January 20, 2008 10:23 PM CST 6 years ago today I slid down the hospital wall in shock after hearing the words tumor found in mitchell head... then having to hear the ultimate question from Mitch...MOM am I going to die? looking up at me not even able to hold his head up ,then telling Arch on the phone while hes at work I can`t even imagine what went threw archies head at that moment . I remember mitch crying going into the operating room clinging onto congo..the look on his face was something that will be forever etched into my memory. the pacing of halls , crying with Archie, waiting for Mitch to come out of surgery ..not knowing that surgery was a least of this journey...not knowing that I would be journaling about mitchs ""D DAY"" 6 years ago and MItch gone for almost 5 years.Did I think 6 years ago life would what it is today...No , I thought I would be fighting with mitch that he couldnt go out with the car on a school night ,life threw a huge curve ball...we lost our most precious son and 10 months ago was blessed with another blessing a daughter... Hannah Jo . MItch has opened my eyes and I`m sure Archs eyes to so much in the world...Make every minute count...count your blessings... live life... love better... Mitch has been such a blessing in my life I thank god everyday for him and thank him for the time I did have with Mitch, then I thank god for Hannah shes truly a blessing Mitch has given her a better mom & dad out of the love mitch has shown us and the lessons he has taught us. Thank you mitchell for being my son , you will always be in my heart and I will always love you , you will never be forgotten , your memories will never fade,good or bad.
Saturday, January 12, 2008 5:59 PM CST Mitch... dad is upstairs playing ball with hannah so here I am until one of them bellow...I`m sure it will be hannah just thought I would tell ya I love ya buddy to the moon
Wednesday, December 26, 2007 11:40 AM CST Mitch christmas has come and gone ...another christmas without you. your tree looks good this christmas ...it has extra ordaments on it this year from hannah. every one was here yesterday of course hannah being the center of attention !! mitch shes such a ham!!I better get back to the house work buddy theres soooo much to do love ya so so much mom
Tuesday, December 4, 2007 1:25 PM CST Hi mitchell!! I have to be fast miss hannah is up but I wanted to show you some pictures of what me daddy and hannah did today for you!!!! love ya to the moon!! love mom
Yep a snowman for you !! and hannahs first snowman ...mitch hannah wouldnt stop trying to eat his nose!!!!
Sunday, November 18, 2007 2:46 PM CST Well mitch as you can see the christmas mood has hit me...the first time since you been gone and mitch it feels good!! I still miss you like crazy but your lil sister has put the sparkle back in my eyes !! She love you singing christmas tree and homer.she just loves annie pooh too!!
We put one of your hats into a collection of people that had brain tumors and these hats travel across canada helping others...cool huh... I seen Dr. Yhapp and omg mitch she never changed!! funy as ever ...she met hannah ..she thought she looked like you ..hannah does have your eyes!!
Any how buddy I have but a few mintues and I better check on hannah. love ya ever more mitch!! xoxox mommy
Monday, November 12, 2007 2:00 PM CST WE REMEMBER MITCH
Monday, October 8, 2007 7:13 PM CDT Well mitch so much has gone on since I posted to you buddy, We all had yucky colds I think were finally over ...your lil sister has decided for the last 2 weeks to get up at 4 or 5 in the morn...ugh shes a morning person not like you at all!!! you could sleep til noon if I let you ,and sometimes I did.
Grampy celebrated his 80th birthday and I been falling apart since then but I`m on the mend now buddy , just so much family stuff and missing you was hard.
I guess you already know puppy( archs dad) passed away , daddy had a hard time but hes ok now. It made us talk more about memories of you!!
You remember the time You were in bed and the rule was after simpsons shut the tv off and one night you turned down the tv and of cousre I caught you , then you turned down the contrast on the tv so I wouldnt see the light flickering under the door!!! Mitch you were to funny!! makes me wonder if your still that way up there?? You tie anyone in there bedrroms yet? like the time you tied our door knob to the bathrooms door knob?? with me and daddy in the bedroom??? lol
We stopped in the see Annie pooh this week and mitch she had a hissy fit that day!!! she said the only one she ever had was with the ones upstairs about you that day !! of course she said we brighten her day when we know shes brighten ours just as much!! Mitch I can truly understand why you liked ann so much!! I think I`m going to send her one of your hats. maybe you should come to me in a dream and tell me what hat to send...hint hint !!!! well buddy 4 am comes early now.. sending my kisses and hugs to the moon!! love ya much and ever more baby boy....lol love mom xox
Saturday, September 1, 2007 11:07 AM CDT 
Thursday, August 16, 2007 9:52 AM CDT Hi Mitchell !!! heres hannahs new bib I bought her!!
Monday, July 9, 2007 9:55 PM CDT Mitch you never seise to amaze me!! today cleaning out a cupboard way in the back there was a note from you all folded up!!! and guess what !! yup you already know...I love you too buddy!! Dad said it was the first time he seen a drawing with both me a dad drawn in it ... it said I love mom and dad with a big heart. Mitchell it made my day... I was just like you sent it to me to cheer me up!!! I love ya and miss you so so much..every time I look at Hannah I get a little sad because she never got to meet you but then she will do something or just llok at me a certain way and it makes me feeel like she already knows you!!
Well buddy it is 12am and I should really be in bed just thoguth I would tell ya how much I miss you my lil boy .... he he xox mom , dad and Hannah Jo
Wednesday, June 20, 2007 2:03 PM CDT As always mitch I`m getting slack in updating your page but it seems hannah needs all moms time...its ok I`m loving it !!
well mitch dad and i got the shock yesterday! A friend of yours (cody) showed up at the door with a special surprise.He got a tattoo on his arm of a cross saying RIP MF....now how cool is that!!!! I didn`t ask why I did`nt wanna cry. I gotta a picture of it.I forgot te camera upstairs and i got hannah her in my arms so when I load up the pics I`ll put it in your website buddy
And dad got quite the fathers day dream he was telling me. you came to him in a dream and you were holding what he thought was hannah til you told him it was marshall !! We assume thats Hannahs twin we lost.....you have your brother up there we believe.
Things are good here buddy no one has messed with your stuff at the cementry and we planted new poppies. Mitch ,Hannah is in my arms snoozing so I`m gonna put her to bed buddy ....love ya bunches xox mom
heres the tattoo !!
Saturday, June 2, 2007 11:10 AM CDT Hi Mitchell!! its been someeee hard to get to your website wit your little sister always growling at me!! did you give her tips??? I have noticed in a couple of her picsshe likes to flip me the bird!!! you giving her hints?? We have also noticed that she smiles and coos at you picture on the wall!!
Remember you always said gotta love a girl in camo?? well we found hannah pink camo !! but I got nanny to girly up some green camo to I`l leave a pic here.
Well I cleaned and dusted your room up so hannah could come down here too..awww mitch hannah is bellowing for mme buddy so I gotta go I love ya bunches and miss ya ever more
Monday, April 30, 2007 9:51 PM CDT Balloons for you mitchell!!! love ya !!!
Wednesday, April 25, 2007 3:19 PM CDT balloons are coming soon buddy !!! love ya hers a pic of you and hannah !!
Friday, April 6, 2007 5:44 PM CDT I`m sorry for the long update!! Im holding hannah so it might be short...
Mitch the night I had hannah I know you were there.for 24 hours i stayed 3 cm with my water broke and induced with drugs, at shift change 7pm the new nurse came in wearing...you guessed it.....GRASSHOPPERS!!!!!! and things changed just like that, in just 48 minutes i went from 3 cm to having hannah , she arrived weighing 8lbs 4 ozs 21 inches long with your big beautiful eyes!!! mitch i love her soooooo much.we took her up to see you at the cementry but its to cold to take her out of the car soon though buddy. ok my arm is numb. love ya lots !!mitch i still havent found any camo for her !!! ugh. love ya lots missing ya ever more mommy xox
Thursday, March 29, 2007 7:05 PM CDT Hannah Jo Is here !!!! mitch she looks just like you!!!!
I`m sooo in love with your lil sister !!! love ya lots big brother !!
Thursday, February 15, 2007 11:05 AM CST 
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MITCHELL!! YOU WOULD OF BEEN 16!! MISSING YOU EVER SO MUCH...LOVE ALWAYS MOM AND DAD
Sunday, February 4, 2007 4:44 PM CST
Hello My sunshine!!
Your birthday is but 11 days away....16 years old you would of been!! We probaly would have been making our trip to the DMV.
Mitch this week was a very frustrating week buddy..someone had the nerve to go to the cementry and break your lights!!! rotten people..It went in the paper on friday about it, I can`t believe how mean some people can be.no respect huh !!Any way I`m not going to let that get in the way of still spending our time up there with you and celebrating memories , milestones and holidays with you !!
We are about ready for Hannah to arrive I want to see her now!! god mitch I hope she has your beautiful eyes!! I also hope se follows her big brother and gives me an easy labour when she comes!! she likes kicking !! If theres days shes being lazy I say Mitch get your lil sisiter to kick..and I get a kick!!
Well bud I must go pester daddy !! love ya bunches!! xoxox mom
Monday, January 15, 2007 4:41 PM CST
Hi Mitchell!! Well buddy we got threw yet another christmas ..we kinda cheated this year we put up your tree and thats it..I felt kinda funny not putting up a tree but it just made the holiday easier to ge tthrew,I know we can`t do that again with Hannah on the way.
Dads birthday is tommorw ..the big 39..I keep teasing him but it don`t seem to bother him. Dad just found out he needs glasses now ,I`m sure you would of made fun of him with glasses!! Daddy has mentioned a couple of times that your 16th birthday is coming up ,and it gets him down.I know he was loooking forward to learning you how to drive.I`m not sure what were doing for your birthday yet..I`m big as a house now so Its hard to say what I can waddle offto do.I have been trying and trying to find pink camo shirt for Hannah because Iknow you loved camo but I can`t find one no where :( I guess I`ll keep looking.
well buddy I better get off the pc ..someone is kicking me so sitting at the pc must be squishing her...love ya bunches..love ya ever more Mom xox
Sunday, December 24, 2006 12:02 AM CST
Merry Christmas Mitchell!!! Yet another year without you here.Dad is keeping himself busy working on his junk and me I`m just blah...I started recoreding your cam tapes and I think it could be the wrong time of year to be doing it, it makes me miss you more but makes me happy I can hear your voice.
Nanny and Grampy are coming up tommorw for dinner again ..I`ll get nanny to wash the dishes again...he he I`ll tell her Hannah is tired and needs mommy to put up her feet. Mkaes me wonder if she is going to a prankster like you?? You know for as much as you use to prank us I miss it.
Mitch enjoy christmas again this year I will just knowing how much of a wonderful son I have !! you are one of the greatest blessings I could ever ask for!!! love you always ....Merry Christmas ..love mom
Tuesday, December 12, 2006 6:05 PM CST
Hey Buddy !! well Hannahs fetal echo cardigram went good they think everything is good with her!! you know buddy the IWK is a good hospital and look after kids good don`t they !! they were so good to you!!
Well we have your new candy canes up there and your tree. we start putting up your ordaments tommorw buddy I got you some homer simpson ones this year!!! we don`t have a tree up yet , we have been busy getting ready for Hannah and dad is fixing his piece of junk....:) you would say that to dad I know it!! Well buddy it`s time for mommy to put up her feet !! love ya bunches missing you ever more my son!! love mom xoxoxox
Friday, November 24, 2006 7:15 PM CST
Well Mitchell Hannah must have some of your stubborness!! I had to go to halifax for another ultrasound to look at her heart again, sure enough the last time she would`nt stay still and this time she would`nt move her arm out of the way!! you giving her pointers already ?Now we have to go back for an echo something or other.
daddy and I put up your candycanes at the cementry but I think I`m gonna buy knew ones for youthem ones the colors look wore out ,I also seen a solar power christmas tree or snowman I think I`m going to pick you up one of those to buddy.Well budddy its getting harder sitting at the pc so I`m off to get my feet up buddy!! love ya to the moon xoxox mom
Thursday, November 9, 2006 10:36 AM CST
From the box above you guessed it Mitch is going to have a little sister. She still will be named after her big brother...alot of people are probably wondering how..it`s a girl. Well her name was really already choosen a long time ago by Mitch. A had a dream a while back even before I was pregnant, I dreamt that I was in the delivery room and Mitch was sitting there in the rocking chair rocking a pink bundle. Mitch said to me ""Mom can we name her Hannah"" . I always had loved the named always use to say to Mitch holy hannah so her name is Hannah and her middle name....Jo , Mitchs middle name was Joseph so thats where I got that.Mitch I`m sure is looking out for her already ..A Proud Big Brother.I must now tinker with mitchs graphics on the page. Love ya Mitch ...to the moon xoxox Mom
Tuesday, October 3, 2006 4:31 PM CDT
OMG .... it`s been to long since coming here. I had no internet for a bit and I was also keeping my feet up and rested. things are still good here still missing mitch but that will never change. we have one baby growing in there and on nov. 12 we will find out if mitch is going to hve a baby brother or sister.Its been quite but good , we got a gift in the ami lthe other day from annie pooh mitchs favorite nurse!! a baby blanket ..of course the card making me cry ..but what don`t make me cry A little girls mommy made that beautiful quilt and I`ll share the link as soon as I get permisson from her mom.so for now ...
Mitch love ya buddy xox mom
Thursday, August 3, 2006 3:01 PM CDT 
Mitch we had our first ultrasound today buddy and I just could feel you there with daddy and I . I seen one beautiful heart beating , All I could think of was gratful I am to get the change to be a mommy to your brother or sister!! I`m so proud!! daddy is too buddy!! We think theres only one but the doctors is`nt to sure so we have another scan sometime soon.
That balloon we put up with you ..well I got acall the next day and they were saying congrats!! they were up to visit you and read the balloon. you got the chance to tell someone before me buddy!! well sunhine I`m off buddy I`m going to put my feet up ... kisses and hugs my love
love mom
Monday, July 17, 2006 7:27 PM CDT Mitch I know its been awhile since I wrote in here buddy but Its been a crazy couple of months. did you see your balloon we left you at the cementry ?? yup buddy your going to be a big brother !!!! I don`t know if theres 1 or 2 in the there but ever so grateful. thank you for your tree singing down in your play room ,love ya buddy talk soon.
Sunday, April 30, 2006 9:22 AM CDT Three long years....
Mitch three years ago I had to start learning how to live my life without you, I sit back and of think how did I get threw some of the days?? I was`nt alone !! you were with me all the time,some days I can feel your ever glowing presense. I miss you mitch more than ever.
love you buddy
Now you got some balloons to catch today hun at 6
xoxox mom
Sunday, April 30, 2006 9:22 AM CDT Three long years....
Mitch three years ago I had to start learning how to live my life without you, I sit back and of think how did I get threw some of the days?? I was`nt alone !! you were with me all the time,some days I can feel your ever glowing presense. I miss you mitch more than ever. love you buddy mom
Now you got some balloons to catch today hun at 6
xoxox mom
Sunday, April 23, 2006 4:14 PM CDT Mitchell today visiting you at the cementry gave me the most emotional day I think I have encountered in years. The grave caved in a little and seeing it was devastating ..It hit me like a ton of bricks..it made me force myself that you are there. I tried to explain it that all these years when we wnet to the cementry it was like I was visiting your reting place but your not there It was the place we paid respect to and a place to be when we missed you the most. It hurt tso much to except the fact your body is there , even though you dont need it , it was there and I was willing to except it in my head it was until today...One week exactly to the day you have been gone for 3 years...3 long years ....
Saturday, April 8, 2006 1:49 PM CDT Mitch Hi ya buddy....Dad and I are doing good ..things are a bit hectic with daddy arm being sore and also the added stress of trying to get your wish...well our wish too sweetie. Gees I find myself over whemled with emotions Mitch I`m missing you just so much ...I`m convinced I`m seeing you everywhere. Daddy has been listening to this eminem song and wow I cant put it on your site buddy because I thin theres some swearing in it but I`m gonna try to find the clean version... your probably thinking go for it mom and flash me the finger !!! :) the verse of the song makes us think of you and that your telling usa its ok....heres the verse,
And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain
Just smile back
I do smile when I hear your voice especially your laugh ...ooo time for me to put in a video !! !! I love ya sunshine !!
Thursday, March 16, 2006 9:23 AM CST Good Morning Sunshine!!!
Mitch daddy and I are on our way down to be with nanny and grampy.I think nanny is missing grandma but hiding it very well...Now I now where I got it.I`m sorry buddy I havent been in doign your webpage much...dial up..ugh. so anyway buddy I better get my rear in gear sweetie.LOve ya lots , missing you forever!!
Wednesday, February 15, 2006 9:08 AM CST 
Happy birthday Mitchell!!! Dad and I just put your order in for your balloons buddy and will send them off to you this afternoon.Mitch I`m missing ya so so much sunshine!! Yesterday me, dad nanny and grampy all went to ponderosa for supper we left a plate where you usuallay sit !! nanny took a picture of it..it reminded me of the time I put a happy face on you belly !!I put a picture here for you. with ketchup.MIssing you ever so much my sunshine
love always
mom xoxox
Saturday, February 11, 2006 1:41 PM CST Hi Mitchell !!
4 more days until your birthday buddy! Lota have been going on around here your book being pulblished , local paper up then ATV news doing a story and just yesterday me and daddy spent part of our afternoon being interviewed by the halifax paper buddy!! your still famous buddy!! They thought your car we drive was cool. Dad told them lots about you and your pranks of course I had to tell them about the time you dumped cold water on daddy in the nice warm tub!!! well buddy ..I will journal again in just a few days but you are forever in my thoughts every waking moment!! and even my dreams ...just not as much as I want you to be!!
love ya always, mom xoxox
Friday, January 13, 2006 1:32 PM CST As I sit here with tears still welting from my eyes I am amazed how much Mitchell still comes to the rescue when your feeling a little over whemled. In august of 2003 Head of pallitive care Dr. Gerri Frager asked if she could write about mitch in a medical journal!! Of course I said yes right away ..Mitch loved helping people and he still is. The book arrived at my house yesterday in the mail ,I was at work and Archie was home, I had decided to call home about 2:30 just to see how his day was going and you could tell from the tone of his voice ..he was beaming!! Could any parent be any prouder?? I don`t think..I know as a paernt you always sit back and wonder what you kids will be when there older..doctors ,lawyers ... factory workers ( cough cough )... all you do know is that you will be proud of what they accomplish in there life. Mitch never had that chance to grow up ...but he did accomplish lots of things .I will say it once twice and probably a million times before seeing my boy again..mitch has taught me the skill of courage and the art of compassion.
My heart is over bursting , so proud to be called Mitchells Mom ....Forever Mitchells mom . This story of mitch being in the manual (Palliative Medicine: A Case-based Manual second addition)will be in our daliy news tommorw. Mom found the book also on amazon.
So for now I`m going to dry my eyes still hold my head so so high and be proud , look at mitch has accoplished in his 12 short years of life!! Look in the photo page the articale fro mthe newspaper is now there !!! god I`m so proud
Saturday, December 31, 2005 9:58 AM CST Mitchell another year has come and almost gone , another year without but still oodles of memories to share.2006 is our year buddy!! I can just feel it , its going to be our turn around year!! Dad just reminded me I gotta go get some fireworks...but buddy this year I don`t think were doing it at the cementry,I gonna try to convince dad to do it where you always drove your 4 wheeler.
well sweetie happy new year...rememeber 2006 is our year !!! xooxox
love a lots mom
Friday, December 23, 2005 3:02 PM CST Mitchell daddy and I put up our christmas tree last night buddy!!! and the christmas shopping is done ...even your balloons are already picked up :)I took some pictures of your christmas tree and I`ll put in a pic or 2 in here.Nanny and grampy are gonna be shocked when they see what we got them!I got daddy his dvd player he`s been whining for !! Mitch someone came to our house and bought a puppy and gues what they named it!!!RJ !!!! lol I thought right thier that mitch your were hanging around!! someone naming their puppy after your best friend is just to convient huh!!! well buddy I love ya ever more ..ya know that though !!! Have a Heavenly Christmas my baby !!
love mom xoxox
heres a clip of mitch at christmas
Click here to watch 'xmas3450'
Wednesday, December 14, 2005 2:49 PM CST holy hannah mitchell have we ever got oodles of snow buddy!!!
Your tree is up and daddy and I have started our sad but annual tradition once again this year. Dad and I both put one ordament on your tree at the cementry everyday for the 12 days of christmas. Mitch we still never put up our tree yet!!!That use to be something me and you did ,so now I refuse to put up a tree by myself. So I`ll wait til daddy starts feeling like a grinch and puts it up the I`ll decorate it. I must be honest I don`t even wanna put one up but I will I wouldnt want people to think I`m an old scrooge .
Sunday, November 27, 2005 7:14 PM CST Hey mitch!! Its impossible not to be sad around this time of year without you!! I keep forgetting how terribly missed you are not just by me and daddy but nanny and grampy too!! I have pictures I`m gonna put in here of grampy and nanny leaving you a christmas gift at the cementry...of couse me thinking in my head that you were thier whe nthey put it there and all ready wrapped your arms around them with a great big hug!! well buddy daddy dback and we havent much time together lately with work and all so buddy i`ll updat agin in a few day when my spirits are a little better...
ooo By the way buddy I was driving home from work the other day and a rainbow was in the sky....thankyou !!
love ya bunches
mom xox
Thursday, November 3, 2005 11:39 AM CST I wanted to share this dream...I had it about a month ago and was a little worried about sharing it , I don`t want anyone to think I`m nuts!!!! of course mitch already thinks I am ...he thought that yearssssss ago...lol this dream was one of the most powerful dream I have ever had since mitch passed away..And I know in my heart he was visiting me!!
Mitch was laying on the couch and he had just passed away,I was crying and I went to pick up the phone to call mom( now mom was really there the night mitch did pass away and he passed away in my bed) and mitch opened his eyes .he said mom I`m here for just a little bit.I was so excited that mitch came back to me. Mitch looked at me and said mom we don`t have alot of time I going back to heaven in a few mintues I come back to say I love you and I`ll visit when I`m not busy, I said back to mitch...no buddy your alive, he said back to me no mom I died but I came back I knew you are too sad. I cried hugged him and he slipped away....And then I woke up...
I am convinced that Mitch came to me that night that hug was to real.I dont have many of those dreams and to be honest this is the 3 rd dream I actually got to touch him.
A month later , I still got chills reading it and writing it!! this dream was powerful!!Now admit it ya know it was mitch..him saying to me in my dream when I`m not busy I`ll visit...thats mitch!!!
I thought I would put in another video clip of mtich..you notice theres no theme to the web site this time...there is ...Mitchell :)
Click here to watch 'mitchellthe-nut'
Sunday, October 16, 2005 11:40 AM CDT Ahhh Hallooween is coming soon...and so so many memories.Mitch did`nt really care for hallooween to much. He had a peanut allergry so most of his treats went to other kids. but I must say we did have fun everyyear.Out next door neighbour use to make mitch up a huge treat bag filled with grapes, apples , oranges pop and a big bag of chips .... god love clara!!
I remember one time mitch was trick or treating and this older gentlemen was about to put a reese peanutbutter cup in his bag of course mitch ....he speaks up and says ...hey mister you trying to kill me...let me tell you I was soooo red in the face!! mitch was only 3.
Mitch I have been having oodles of dreams about you lately ya ham!!! keep them coming!! wish maker parade was fun buddy ..kyle drove with me in the car...the balloons were driving me nuts though !!
ok sunshine I`m off once again ..love ya always ..miss ya forever
Friday, September 23, 2005 6:29 PM CDT Mitchell just when I think I`m alone you seem to give me a sign of some sort that your still hanging out with me.You know whats funny I said this to dad the other day and he said the the other day he was working and he caught a sniff of your scent and he came home and told me he had the eerie day ja vu about you that day .Then today I was picking up Cheryl to drive her to work and the store down by the cementry had a sign out saying Happy Birthday Mitchell F 15 !!! now how wierd is that ?? I know your birthday isn`t until feburary but you would be 15 !! Now how ironic is this ...I stopped into the store I was real curious what the last name was ..and his last name was fraser!!! I had the owner of the store crying before I left.Just when I really get over whelmed missing you so much I get reminded of something funny !!! I was at the gym the other day and they were playing a pink so"" just like a pill" I remembered you singing that song out loud while doing your chemo one day !! Yesterday I met up with a girl walking her dog and what does she say... ""here Abbie"" ,Mitch I laughed so hard, I remembered the time we went camping and the people had a dog named abbie and you kept making fun of me!!! you kept saying "" here abbie good dog""" barking at me ya lil bugger!! Then on monday I was on my way to the gym and here sat a grasshopper on my windshield the whole way there!! I also won this beautiful star at the gym and the mintue I seen it I wanted for the cemenrty for christmas eve and I won it !! All these memories came flooding back to me in just the last week andI`m sure you had something to do with it. I was having a hard week with school now I`m feeling more like my old bubbly self.
The wish Foundation parade is coming up October 15th and will be once again doing the pledges , collecting donations towards a great cause. The wish foundation gave us a great week of memories that last for ever!! I will be forever grateful for this and will continue every year fundrasing for them.I even kicked it up a notch and will be doing volenteering year round.So anyone willing to even send any money to a greta cause please email me for my address...... Look at the smile in the face below , the wish foundation did that for Mitchell and continues to bring many memories to sick kids.
well Mitchell I`m off ..like a dirty sock ... :) LOve ya more each day and please buddy keep sending me those good vibes ,life sucks without you here physically but sure is easier to get threw with your ever glowing presence.
love always mom xox
I thought I should leave you a little clip I had on the computer of mitch in Flordia during our wish trip, remember to get it to work properly just replay it about 5 times ...yeah I know a bit of a pain but soooooo worth it :)
Click here to watch 'mitchmickeyballoon'
Sunday, September 4, 2005 2:53 PM CDT Mitchell.... Yet another year of school approaching and your not here :(, makes me wonder if the have school in heaven? probably not, heavens suppose to be a fun place huh no time for school huh love !! Well buddy you would of been going into grade 9 !! I look at your school pictures and you starting changing you looks around grade 3 I think.I look at the grade 1 picture and I remember what you told me, you said the guy touched your face and you were scared he had a peanut butter sandwich.I look at grade 4 and I can see the tantalizing side of you !!! same as youe primary picture..ahh that smile it never changed.I look at your grade 5 picture and think ..why did`nt I notice anything different..just 3 months after that picture you were having a stupid brain tumor taken out. Then I look at your grade 6 picture , that was your last school year here, and I look at that , you were so proud, handsome and my how you grew , I think your eyes said it all.. they say your eyes are windows to your soul..you definaletly had a beautiful soul it shows in your eyes.
Well mitch I have been plugging away at your website all day almost and now my hands are feeling it.
I love ya sunshine, missing ya evermore
xoxox mom
Thursday, August 25, 2005 4:36 PM CDT On tues One of mitchells friends...actually his best friend ( RJ) came up and hung out for the day. RJ mom and lil brother (ben) was up too. we spent the day together ,talking old times,went to the cementry , reminissing , even watch a little clip on mitch and rj...of course in archie shed smashing dinkies. The wierd thing was it felt right it felt normal. it felt like we were just waiting for mitch to come home or something. Its almost felt like he was here ...sound strange?? I mean the boys were down stairs tinkering on the pc and playing with mitchs toys and it felt right...I balled when rj left it was hard to let him leave..they made me feel "" normal""
Rj lite a candle on the link and it made me cry seeing it ...it said"""you where always mi best friend and i will allways miss you kant qwait to see u up in heaven tell tupac i dsaid hi luv yah allways: RJ"""
Rj left a belt here leavign a note on it and I gave him one of mitch chick posters... and ben a ty beanie that they gave to him in the hospital..i love seeing them and miss all 3 of them so much already.
mitch .. i miss you so so much xoxox
heres mitch at the pc
Click here to watch 'tounge'
Tuesday, August 16, 2005 8:35 AM CDT Mitch I got a video clip of you driving your 4 wheeler at the bottom of the journal.I was watching it and laughing because when you drove it you mostly watched everyone watch you instead of you watching the road...ya crazyman!!!!
well mitch my last surgery is finally done buddy and I`ll be heading back to work soon, I`m kinda happy about going back to work,I need to get back to work,I need to find my ""new"" normal what ever that is. I do know this time heading back I am ready emotionally , i mean I still miss you like theres no tommorw but think I am handleing things better.
I got mail from the wish foundation yesterday buddy..its said Mr. Mitchell Fraser ..... :( they were reminding me about the wish parade in october and about pledges. Yep this will be our 3rd annual in memory of you wish maker parade !!
Well buddy I gotta get my rear in gear !!! so sunshine love ya bunches and miss you ever more
xox mom
Click here to watch 'short-bike1'
Friday, July 29, 2005 1:57 PM CDT Hi Mitchell hunny !!
Mitch lately I have wanted to do nothing ...I swear if i pout any harder I`m gonna trip over my own lip!! Some days I amaze myself thinking how did I even get threw this day with out you ..and then it reminds me of that wonderful poem someone gave me.
A DAY, A WEEK, A LIFETIME
When I wake up in the morning
I ask myself
How will I get through this day
Without You
As I dress and prepare to start my day
I wonder
How will I go on
Without You
As the day slowly slips away
I remember how you made me laugh
And I smile
Without You
At the end of the day
As I prepare to close my eyes
I know in my HEART
I couldn't have gotten through the day
WITHOUT YOU
I really feeling the effects of life without you...I know that sounded stupid huh!! but you know what I mean. Daddy and me don`t do anything anymore.No camping , fishing, movies ...not a thing ....well I think we might be going sea fishing tommorw if not saturday for sure.Daddy is on vaction this week and we don`t have it in us to do anything without you.Man life is boring without you love !!!
Mitch you know how tough it is to do things without you!! although lately we have been reminded of your presense!! poor dad the other night!!! the smoke detector going off at 2 in the morn...I wonder ya lil ham!!! yes we knew it was you because as soon as daddy bellowed ok mitch its bedtime ...it stopped, you lil prankster!!! then Sunday when we were leaving the cementry ..daddy turned on the car and the stereo was on ...full blast with that song you liked....gansters paradise!!
Well buddy I seen a couple of your friends yesterday!! and guess what I was talking to wayne today!! Talking to him made me miss you so so much but it did help me in another way....your missed, thought about daily and still so very much loved. Just incase I have`nt already told you yet today..I`m so so proud of you !! You make me so proud and honored to me called mom...and not just mom....Mitchells MOM !! So buddy I best be getting off this computer...loving you always ...missing you forever my lil grasshopper
love always mom xox
Click here to watch 'dumbass7111'
Saturday, July 23, 2005 10:19 AM CDT HI Mitchell!!!!
I` getting slack in the updates huh!! its not that I`m busy..by far I would be lying huh..just in a slump buddy.I was watching some more of your videos and I got a short clip of you calling me a dumbass!! well I laugh everytime i hear it!!
Click here to watch 'dumbass7111'
Guess who I ran into today!! Vanessa!! shes gonna bring the boys up to see me and dad, she asked where you were buried( thats was another thing thats was hard to type) I told her and I think I`ll take her and the boys up there if she wants me too.
well ya ham I must get some house work done..it looks like I`m on strike buddy buts it so so hot!! we were in flordia this time 3 years ago having so much fun!!!
missing you always buddy xox mom
Thursday, July 14, 2005 8:38 AM CDT Hi Mitchell!!!
Well what do ya think of those graphics I made you !!!! you always said you loved fats cars and hot chicks...sometimes you even tried to blame it on daddy. remember this quote""""I`m a hound just like my daddy""" ...yeah I`m sure you do!!! this week we were gettign ready to head to flordia for your wish trip so I thought I would do your site in the Fast and furios theme...with chicks and your favortie number 10.
love ya buddy mom xoxox
the video for some reason you have to stop and click it like 10 times before beinf able to watch it with out it skipping...but its is really nice to put a video on here of mitch
Click here to watch 'short-ff'
Saturday, July 9, 2005 6:29 PM CDT Mitch I have finally figured out how to get your video here on the website!!!! Now pepole can hear your laugh, see your smile, hear your voice!!! Mitch missing you ever more
love always mom xoxox
Tuesday, July 5, 2005 8:39 PM CDT Hi mitchell hunny !! I thought I would decorate up your site for the summer!! see the sand castle with your name on the flag!!!!this picture below you were laughing at me being knocked over by a wave!!!
Friday, July 1, 2005 5:47 PM CDT Happy canada day Mitchell!!!! Your last canada day(2002) you were stuck in the hospital with your platlets at a 12..and a low grade fever, but i remeber that nurse making you a pictures of your own fireworks!!
Mitch this week I have been converting your camcorder videos to dvd..and let me tell you I have not been a nice person to be around.I had decided to get threw the harder ones first and Right now I`m doing the last one of disneyworld. Threw the tapes you cried 2 times and hearing that cry completely broke my heart. Theres alot of funny stuff on it too though buddy!!!
I`m gonna decorate your page up for canada day buddy ...your own fireworks just from mom & dad
love always buddy..missing you always
mom xoxox
Friday, June 24, 2005 9:53 PM CDT Hi Mitchell !!!
Well buddy one hand fixed(almost) and one to go.I still cant use my left hand yet, but its feeling better. Daddy and I both said this week you were all we could both think of...mitch how do you cope with daily things!! I was in tears yesterday trying to fix my hair( daddy fixed it) and all i could think was how much you learned to do with one hand. Then i cried some more thinking of how much stuff you did on your own not asking for help. even sitting here typing one handed is frustrating for me!! But you use to do everything one handed!! playing psp2, getting dressed( left pocket always hanging out) I know why now!! everything!! and it made me even prouder of you.
Mitch,I wish you could actually come to me and tell me truly what heaven is like. I wish you could come and tell me how you been threw these 2 years and tell me what you have been up to. I`m missing ya lots sunshine...hey i just found a pic of you at daytona beach in flordia!!with the pocket hanging out.....I`m smiling again
love ya mom xox
Sunday, June 12, 2005 6:01 PM CDT Mitchell..I know it`s been 2 years since you moved in with the big guy up there sunhine , but I think it has honestly sunk in your not coming back ! I know it sounds some strange for me to say that after 2 years but the first year you were gone Dad and I were numb, this year it just blows...big time. Buddy its just been a rough month , I think I have cried more this month that the whole year so far..I`m hoping my tear ducts dry out soon!! Nanny Cathy was up last week and she dropped off a single white rose and a boutinear(sp) she said logan wanted you to have it, he said he wanted his buddy to go to the prom this year!! and a cried again!! I`m so glad people are still remembering you its the biggest fear I have.
Anyhoo buddy , its grasshopper season!! yeah i love having them around. Mitch daddy and I got a doctors appointment tommorw hun , could you please go have a sit down with the big guy tell him how much daddy and I would love to have another baby to love. maybe he can guide us in the right direction...better yet buddy pester the heck out of him, your good at that!! you always were.
love ya lots miss ya forever ..ya ham xox
Wednesday, June 1, 2005 5:11 PM CDT WOW !! mitch what a week!! I just had to do up your page in grasshoppers it was one thing daddy and I called you!! or slow down crazy man , you and that 4 wheeler . daddy had it out last week for a very long drive , he drove it all the way to Tim Hortons in brookfield!! holy hannah huh!!Dad said I bet mitch would of liked that. I told him I`m sure you were right there with him.
You remember the time Just before we got you your first 4 wheeler. You use to drive a lawn tractor around the yard , you even drove that like a crazy man!! Well mitch it has been really boring here lately , the dogs drive menuts still though. Dad and I still pull on troopers tail , I think he misses it. remember you use to grab his tail on say ""YOINK"" poor trooper he took heat didnt he . but he sure does miss you, the old fart.
well buddy I`m going to go relax I have been nonstop all day and I`m pooped. I love ya always xoxox mom
Friday, May 20, 2005 12:09 AM CDT Sorry for being so long in updates ,but I have been doing some ""soul searching"" I built this website to keep mitchs memories alive and I think I have been doing a pretty good job at it,but I have sunk into a depression so to speak.
I `m not going to go into much details but my surgery I had done last year( tubal reversal) did`nt work .I had tests done last week that showed blockage in both tubes.
This is where I feel gulity ,this is mitchells site I have have the nerve to come in here and be upset over the outcome of this surgery.And it sucks!!Would I been doing this if mitch was still here honestly...No but now I want another child more than ever and the door slammed shut yet again ,but I have my foot wedged in the door.
Cancer has robbed my family !! It not only robbed the life of mitch but killed part of my life with it. It is getting so hard to hear people say all these ""wondeful "" little things....yes that was sarcastic!! God doesnt give you more than you can handle...MY shoulders arent that big and I`m tired of this responibitly. Things happen for a reason...you tell me what good comes out of watching your only child take his last breath?? You have to be patient!! patient!!!! I have been trying to get pregnant for a year and now your telling me its not time yet, please spare me!! Now that you all know where I`m at emotionally you can take comfort in knowing I will be ok, please just don`t tell me everything is ok, my life is far from being ok.its bad enough I hurt so bad for mitch now I get kicked again with maybe never having another child.
This will be my last journal about my feelings, archies feelings from now on mitchs site will stay focused on his memories ,not how miserable life has been so far.
Friday, May 6, 2005 6:59 PM CDT I was going to put this little info about Mitch in the newspaper. but this is as far as I got writting some of it.Heres another mothers day without mitchell.I have many treasured memories of his love for me.
A sons undying love
My son (mitchell ) has always been a very compassiante child.One day mitchell out did himself once again showing me just how much he loves me. Mitchell took sick in january of 2002, A cancerous brain tumor was going to claim the life of my 11 year old son . After many many treatments, needles and scans there was no more they could do except pray. In november 2002 we were told mitch might make it to christmas. Mitch went on to be his usual self , I became a nervous wreck and archie kept himself so busy that he didnt have time to think.
A couple of weeks had passed and we celebrated christmas which was wonderful.Mitch didnt really start getting worse until about march, he had his (focal)sezures and headaches but they were all controlled with oral meds. Mitch would be his usual self with comforting me...he was the child. I can`t even count how many times mitch had said""mom dont worry im ok"" hugging me for comfort.Mitch would even put his hand on nanny shoulder and say"" nanny i wish mom wounld`nt worry so much""
It was mid March and mitch now had a cadd pump for pain control ,a 24 hour dose of morphine and decadron to keep down the swelling in his brain ,but mitch was still mitch . A little tired , and had developed a limp. Mitch had VON nurses come in everyday checking on his meds and mitch was very fond of these 2 ladies , but who wouldnt be.
mitchell had quite the bond with one nurse elizabeth. these too were always talking and scemeing something. i knew something was up one day when she shows up hands mitch something and poof shes gone.I couldnt figure out why she was here she was just there not even an hour ago. And mitch did again. my last mothers day gift was given to me , because he wanted to give it to me early. a beautiful mom ring that mitch placed on my finger that will be there forever. mitch passed away april 30 /03 just 10 days before mothers day. My first mothers day without my son physically with me , but A treasured memory that will last me until i see him again.
Sunday, May 1, 2005 11:37 AM CDT I would like to thank everyone for making mitchs 2nd anniversary a little more baerable.thankyou to those who come to mitchs balloon realease, thank you to those who lite candles ,thankyou to those who left messages in the guestbook,and thank you to all who keep Mitch ,Archie and Me in your prayers.
love abbie
Mitchell I hope you got all your balloons sunshine,thank you for holding off the rain until we left.
love always mommy xox
Saturday, April 30, 2005 9:35 AM CDT 2 years ago today I did`nt think I was ever going to make it past a week without you my sunhine. Mitch I miss you every single day of my life and I always will.I will always miss you.April 30th brings back alot of raw memories and alot of what ifs.Your last breath is stuck in my head.Its so easy to supress those memories but then to have to deal with them head on hurts more. Then I think maybe I should of stayed with you longer after you passed away.I remember laying there beside you after you passed away I was still touching youe soft hair and kissing you,and all I can think is I should of stayed there longer.
I know one thing for sure you knew how much I loved you and how much I still do.I am so proud to me your mom!! Mitch it has been and hounor to be your mom,and i will always be hounered.
make sure you catch your balloons today. sending you kisses to heaven
love always your mommy xox
mom
Thursday, April 28, 2005 8:59 PM CDT Mitchell...Around this time 2 years ago was the last time I tucked you into bed. It was the last time I kissed you and hugged you tight and said love ya buddy see ya in the morning. Only to have you wake a few mere hours later sick to your tummy.I remember it so fresh in my head but thinking the whole time that you were pulling ""another mitchell"" until the second time you got sick,Right at that time when you woke for the last time to get sick My heart skipped a beat and I knew.I don`t know why buddy I guess mom `s instinct. How come my instinct won`t let me believe your ok without mommy that your in a wondeful place.How come sometimes when I remember how much you needed me for something and I just can`t let it go that you still need me? Mitchell my heart aches for you everyday.I might be in a great mood that day but theres still a piece of my heart and a piece of my mind that will never be fixed....forever broken, until I get to see you again.
So tommorw mitch nanny,grampy,daddy and me are going to your favorite resaurant..I`m even thinking of slamming my fist on the table and asking for rice...he he he . On this day 2 years ago you were so full of life I was convinced that you were ok.That everything was going to be ok. Daddy has been really quiet today,I think he`s really missing you.
anyway buddy its a little after 11 and I should get my butt to bed ..if I can sleep.
love ya my sunhine
love mom xoxox
Tuesday, April 26, 2005 2:31 PM CDT Mitchell , I am having such a hard day buddy.2 years ago we were out side driving your remote 4 wheeler having fun.this is the same day you were teasing Dawn about her spongebob socks....and they day you wanted to see something dawn had.we won`t type it here because dawn might not want us to,but I`m sure you remember.you turned dawn 10 shades of red!!!!
Do I ever want my old life back today!! I have been fighting back the tears all day but now that I`m sitting here talk to you ...well typing to you the tears are flowing.I cried on daddys shoulder today and I am sure I still have much more water works to come. I just thought I would share this day 2 years ago with everyone that still reads your site.I havent been answering the phone or checking the emails I just to blah ..if someone else calls me with happy news I will probably explode.Omg Mitch you remember what i use to say in the car all the time? ""piss off I say.piss off"" in a funny voice? you use to laugh so hard over that.I think it was the only reason I said it!! I`m gonna put that on my answering Machine!! dare me? ...Ok I am smiling a little. Mitch I type to you and I feel better ...Thats means I will probably journal tommorw!love you my sunhine
xox mom
Wednesday, April 20, 2005 8:10 AM CDT Archie and I went for a walk last night down the beach with the dogs. We use to take mitch there all the time. Last night was the first time going there since mitch passed away. I could see arch was looking for some kind of sign Mitch was with us and so was I. we picked up a couple of funny looking rocks and talked about Mitch . I looked up at the sky and said out loud ""Mitch give me a sign"" And guess what mitch was with us!! We were looking at all the big drift wood and we come across this huge piece.and right in the middle it had a M carved in it. I`m taking it as our sign mitch was there.We did`nt take it home it was too big to carry but we had or camera...something else we tend to forget.In almost everyone of the pictures there is a little one dot around me too..I`m assuming its mitch.
Dont forget about Mitchells balloon realease on the 30th at 6pm.
Wednesday, April 13, 2005 6:32 PM CDT Oh how my heart hurts for my boy!! In 17 more days it will be 2 years since mitch passed away. 2 years!! I sit here and wonder how I even got threw it. I look back at these 2 years and I don`t think I remember all of the 2 years.
Mitchell ,
I have made my turn around finally.I started going back to the gym and I`m loving it. Its great to be out in the ""real"" world not la la land where I usally am.I have`nt given up on having a baby ,I just think this baby needs a heathier mommy right buddy!!
Remember we are going to have A balloon release for mitchell on the 30th at 6pm.Mom wrote this poem below that will be put in the paper on the 30th
Toys are standing silent
The stereo is still
the games are frozen
the house has a chill
Your clothes hang in the closet
As if you are still here
We miss you so muchMitchell
Is has been two long years.
At times it seems like yesterday
but we know that is not true
for when we look around
we see memories of you.
Memories bring many heartaches
but hurting heals comes with time
we know that you keep watch
over us left on this side.
We hear the stereo click on
the music blares out loud
the Phone rings at nanny's
Your spirit is around.
Some days are really hard
The memories come fast
You are God 's little angel now
For we know He took the best.
Forever missing 'Angel Mitch'
Friday, April 1, 2005 2:09 PM CST April 1st mitch one of your favorite days!!
One this day ...well with mitch any day the one thing we had to watch is mitchell and rope or water ,he was forever setting up boobie traps.There was one particular day that both arch and I still laugh about and everytime I share it everyone else gets a laugh.One day Mitch ,Arch and I were just laying in bed(our bed) watching TV.Mitch gets up goes about his business..I figured he was heading to the fridge ...mitch and his jello !! He comes back to our room with a puzzled look on his face asking if he could shut our bedroom door. I did`nt mind. I few mintues later we can hear mitch laughing quietly outside our bedroom door.I knew he was up to something.Mitch bellows out "" MOM, Try to open the door!?!"" Yup you guessed it he tied our door handle to the bathroom door handle and we were trapped!! you could here him running down the hall laughing...I can still here him laughing that day in my head!
Mitch was the prankster of all pranksters!! poor Daddy he was always the one to take heat though.
I will be leaving mitchs angel picture up for the month of April this being the month he passed away. We will again be releasing balloons up at the cementry on his anniversary at 6pm. I leave this little info up for the month. Arch and I will be looking forward to your support again this year.
Mitchell...Have a great april fools day !!love ya bunches xox
Wednesday, March 23, 2005 5:50 PM CST Hi mitchell!! Well easter peter tail is coming in a few days.I bet you wish I could of forgotten about the way you sang the peter cottontail song!! sorry buddy Its a funny memory embedded in my head!! You know what else is I get all excited when I finally figure something out,and one day I finally figured out how to do these animations well all I could sing all day was """I am so smart""" over and over again!! Daddy told me just yesterday that you use to sing that to him all the time ,being a smarta**.
Buddy I found this poem today and I know I don`t have enough fingers and toes for all the kisses you sent me
love you always mitchell
Happy Easter
xox mom
We go through life so often
Not stopping to enjoy the day.
And we take each one for granted
As we travel on our way
For in your pain and sorrow
An Angel's Kiss will help you through.
This kiss is very private
For it is meant for only you
We never stop to measure
Anything we just might miss.
But if the wind should blow by softly
You'll feel an Angel's Kiss
A kiss that is sent from heaven
A kiss from up above.
A kiss that is very special
From someone that you love
So when your hearts are heavy
And filled with tears and pain.
And no one can console you
Remember once again.
About the ones you grieve for
Because you sadly miss.
And the gentle breeze you took for granted
Was just an Angel's Kiss.
~Author Unknown
Happy Easter Mitchell
Monday, March 14, 2005 2:17 PM CST Hi Mitch my hunny bunny!! I don`t know whats up with me but boy it has been a couple of rough weeks and it still is. I feel like I`m back to square on again missing you even more! I even been having oodles of dreams about you I mean everynight!! I am happy for that but makes me miss you even more.
I come in your site and I draw a blank everytime I look at your pictures. I sit and wonder what life would be like with you still here...I know for sure it would`nt suck like it does now.I am in such a hump mitch I`m once again lost without my lil sidekick. I have been meaning to make you a new border but the grasshoppers have such meaning...right my lil grasshopper, I just wish I could take my own advice I always gave to you!! ""patience young grasshopper""
Well buddy daddy put in a hard wood floor in the living room and even though you werent there we still managed to laugh abotu the carpet we tore up.You remember the time you were eating your ravioli and the bowl slipped off the table and fell to the carpet,and on troopers head too..I still laugh over that!! well we got thte stain out of the carpet but the stain was still there in the wood underneath!! and we found some of your candy (rockets ) under the register!! After we finished the floor I stood back and cried ...again (do that alot latley) It remined me of the apartment we lived at when you were just 3. you use to drive you dinkies on the hardwood floor for hours , it already had roads!!
well buddy I babbled enough..huh..ooo but before I go I am going to use your site to wish Maria a happy birthday tommorw!!! love ya my forever buddy!!!
tell grampy I misss him bunches and love you lots
xxxooo
mom
Tuesday, March 1, 2005 8:26 AM CST People say that you change after loosing a child ,you loose the normal part of your life and find a new normal. I have lost so many friends after Mitch passed away.That really bothers me I have to wake up every day look across the room and look at Mitchs empty bed.I still dust away a tear every morning and go on with my day ,only because its what mitch would want me to do. The friends that have remained friends I will be forever greatful. And the new ones I have made excepted me screws loose and all ...lol
god bless you :)
I know I have changed but I did`nt think not to much.I miss taking pictures of Mitchell is was one of my favorite things ,to capture his beautiful smile and forever have it etched in my mind and A picture.Now I can`t have that.Mitch has shown me that there is still beauty to be captured.The morning of his birthday I woke up before the sunrise and watched the sun rise on his birthday .I seen so much beauty in a simple sun rise.Something that god has given us to enjoy everyday ,yet sometimes its taken for granted.I have seen so many rainbows after mitch passed away I`m sure he is charge of the weather.Maybe the rainbows were there before and I have just not looked for the beauty. Now when I see the beauty around me I thank Mitchell for opening my eyes to the beauty and purity of the world that at one time I seen in his pictures.
Mitchell , you have taught me so many lessons in the short time you were here,and today it sunk in that you still are teaching me so so many.On another note buddy daddy and I are still waiting for our miracle #2. Boy my brain is working on overtime today buddy.
love ya bunches
miss ya lots
love mom
Sunday, February 20, 2005 12:24 AM CST Hi mitchell !! Well sunshine another birthday has come and gone. It rained on your birthday but I`m sure as the day is long you played a factor in the weather...I can here you now..""hey everyone lets watch my mom and dad stand in the rain trying to get my balloons out of the trees"" I`m sure you were laughing your butt off taunting us once again.
Well buddy I think daddy is finally on the mend a little bit. Hes still misses you bit time but I think his new job is really helping him out. On a sad note daddy misses bubbles alot !! Bubbles was your fish went to fishy heaven on your birthday....so tell me buddy ..Does god have a really big fish tank??? remember that comment you made to me!! ""god must have a really big fish tank because you keep killing on my fish!!"" Well I know bubbles must of missed you and he was getting old!! remember we bought him for you 11th birthday and this was your 14th birthday. so Buddy feed him well daddy did. Until next time
Love ya bunches
mom
In memory of bubbles feb/02- feb/05
Tuesday, February 15, 2005 6:07 AM CST 
 
Sunday, February 13, 2005 10:08 AM CST 2 more days until your bithday!!you would of been 14, You could`nt wait to get to 16 so you could drive, you had your car all picked out .You wanted a HONDA!!With a loud muffler and some noz.
14 years ago I was sittng the hospital. waiting for you!! I was in the hospital 2 months before I had you...pre-eclampsia. From the first time i seen you face and touched you i knew my heart would be forever yours.I never believed in love at first sight until I seen you. As the years went by you only got more handsome !! your big blue eyes would look up at me... I melted.You knew how to make me melt everytime!!So mitch you might not of been born on valentines but you are my forever valentine. I thank god for every valentines day I got to spend with you...My most precious gift
Mitch I have so many wonderful memories of you ..I think its the only thing that keeps me going.I feel you all around me.Your birthday approaches and I think of even more memories that I might not of remembered.
Mitch I have some balloons coming your way for your birthday, they all say happy 14th bithday ok...theres one there that says just happy birthday, please sweetie give that one to Caitlyn ,its her first birthday in heaven.
Ok mitch I`m starting to get mushy huh... You like it!! kissy kissy !!!! OOOO you use to get mad at me for that..I would get that sturn look but but it never worked!! your blue eyes would show how much you liked my kisses.I`m blowing kisses to you now grasshopper!!!and no wiping them off!!
I will make sure annie pooh get a email to wish her a happy birthday too ok..
love ya bunches sunhine
mom
Friday, January 21, 2005 9:34 AM CST 3 years ago today
was Mitchells D-Day. It was the same day he was rushed to the IWK childrens hospital and the same day he had his tumor removed. I still remember the peds dr. coming in she had tears in her eyes . I Remember sliding down the wall after her telling me that Mitch had a brain tumor. The part I will remember for the longest time is , Mitch turned to me laying in his bed and said"" mom, am I going to die"" I told him no way the doctors won`t let that happen. Archie was at work and I had asked a nurse to call him on his cell. I remember walking out of mitchells room and taking the phone from the nurse. I was so scared that Mitch was going to die that day and that Archie was not going to get here in time, he did he got there within 10 mins ,thank god he was working in town that day.
As soon as Archie got there Mitch was was put in an ambulance and send to the IWK hospital and hour away.Archie and I followed behind in our truck. We did`nt even speak to each other the drive there ,I don`t even remember the drive,only calling my mom and telling her mitch had a brain tumor.
After arriving at the IWK mitch went into surgery only 2 hours later. I didnt know how serious it was. Mitchs tumor was bleeding by the CT scan and the Dr. (howes) said it had to come out now. Mitch was in surgery for about 6 hours and it felt like it was an eterenty. Walking in the PICU was the scariest thing I had ever seen. Mitch was on life support, what did that mean , was he ok, why isnt he awake, is he gonna die was all the questions that flew out of my mouth. Mitch was sedated so that it could give him time to heal a little bit.
I`m sorry i have to finish here i will continue when my mind will let me..i`m now all over the place. remembering is one of the hardest things to deal with when you try to block all of it out of your head
4:22
Sitting there by mitchells side with tubes everywhere was I thought i hardest thing i would ever had to do , until the day I had to say goodbye to him, to let him go.
Finally 2 days later they woke him out of his induced coma..we thought will he remember us? His first words after surgery"" CONGO"".Thank god if he remembers a stuff animals name he surely the god remembers us and he did. Mitch did recover very fast even though he was paralized on his left side he made huge strides. within days he was walking ... he was so hard headed!! we actually had to hold him up at the toliet to let him pee, he would`nt pee in the bed pan.
Mitchell ... I love you so so much xox MOM
Friday, January 21, 2005 9:34 AM CST 3 years ago today
was Mitchells D-Day. It was the same day he was rushed to the IWK childrens hospital and the same day he had his tumor removed. I still remember the peds dr. coming in she had tears in her eyes . I Remember sliding down the wall after her telling me that Mitch had a brain tumor. The part I will remember for the longest time is , Mitch turned to me laying in his bed and said"" mom, am I going to die"" I told him no way the doctors won`t let that happen. Archie was at work and I had asked a nurse to call him on his cell. I remember walking out of mitchells room and taking the phone from the nurse. I was so scared that Mitch was going to die that day and that Archie was not going to get here in time, he did he got there within 10 mins ,thank god he was working in town that day.
As soon as Archie got there Mitch was was put in an ambulance and send to the IWK hospital and hour away.Archie and I followed behind in our truck. We did`nt even speak to each other the drive there ,I don`t even remember the drive,only calling my mom and telling her mitch had a brain tumor.
After arriving at the IWK mitch went into surgery only 2 hours later. I didnt know how serious it was. Mitchs tumor was bleeding by the CT scan and the Dr. (howes) said it had to come out now. Mitch was in surgery for about 6 hours and it felt like it was an eterenty. Walking in the PICU was the scariest thing I had ever seen. Mitch was on life support, what did that mean , was he ok, why isnt he awake, is he gonna die was all the questions that flew out of my mouth. Mitch was sedated so that it could give him time to heal a little bit.
I`m sorry i have to finish here i will continue when my mind will let me..i`m now all over the place. remembering is one of the hardest things to deal with when you try to block all of it out of your head
Mitchell ... I love you so so much xox MOM
Wednesday, January 5, 2005 6:07 PM CST Hi mitch ,
well 2005 is here and i can feel it hun its our year!! daddy and I are slowly healing day by day but its still tough. well nanny birthday just went by a couple of days ago i seen she lite a candle for you, well really for us huh. mitch you havent come in my dreams for a awhile now ..is it because i have been so consumed wit htrying to have a baby? i hope not i still miss you just as much and when there is a lil one here again im still going to miss you just as much... this little one your picking out for me well he/she will know everything about you...but i will leave out how you use to flip me the bird :o)...
speaking of birds ,mitch the dove came back today!! he was gone for about a month or 2 and knows he back!! he was always here since you passed away, so now he got a full belly and hopefully he stays a while longer... one of my signs maybe ??
well sunshine i gotta get dads lunch for tommorw and i got a bit of a headache...i know what would make it go away...a dream about you!!
i have a cute baby pic i wanna share of you..you were 2 1/2 months old and i put headphones on you ,mc hammer was playing ""dont touch this"" and when i went to take it off your head ..you freaked !!! i had to leave it on ..you loved music and im sure you still do!!
love ya buddy xoxox mom
Friday, December 31, 2004 9:44 AM CST mitchell... yet another year comes to a close and still we have oodles of memories ...up until last night i said 2005 was our year...until dad the knuckle head broke his mirror on the tracker!! mitch i laughed so hard i almost peed my pants!!! i`m sure you were doing the same.so the same as last year we will be going up to shoot of some fire works at the grave site...im wearing my boots!! we got oodles of snow and we and by we i mean daddy dug us a path to go see you..so tonight make sure you look for our fireworks to you my sunhine. love ya bunches buddy xox mom
ooooo by the way i was watching tv last night and i little girl was singing a christmas song and it brought back a memory.remember that year at school you class sang .i aint getting nuttin for christmas !! well she was singing that song but...she wasnt in the shower though where you usually sang your heart out :)... i`m still embarassing you !!!
love ya xxx
mom
Sunday, December 26, 2004 11:55 AM CST Mitchell is forever amazing us ...christmas day we spent the better part of the mornign at the cementry. we released some ballons for him , of the yall went except for one ballon that dropped to the ground. archie picked it up tossed in the air trying to give it a boost, but back down again it came. I has said to archie mitchell must not want that one.As soon as i said that the balloon stood straight up and floated straght in the air ... it was almost like mitch came down took it from dad and off he went. It was very peaceful there yesterday. birds singing ,crisp air,even a woodpecker decided to stick around.
hi mitchell hunny
well it seems that you did want all the balloons after all huh.we watched you video tapes yesterday and some today!! you were dancing to emeinem, and beating up poor dad again!! drving your 4 wheeler and having fun ...not a care in the world...well sunshine love ya and miss you so so much
love mom xox
Friday, December 24, 2004 7:04 PM CST Mitchell , as i sit here with tears rolling down my face i cant even describe how much it hurts not to have you here. i miss the excitement you use to bring to the holidays.even though we have our last christmas in the camcorder i still have it all tucked in my head...ahh those happy memories mitch...i can still see you standing there at 130 in the morn going "" dad ..i heard a bang"" then asking daddy why trooper didnt bark!! baby your forever missed and loved
MERRY CHRISTMAS SUNHINE
xoxo
mom and dad
Wednesday, December 22, 2004 8:35 AM CST Everything is sinking in again this year.. our second christmas without mitch, i thought i was going to get threw it ok but honestly,im starting to loose it. christmas music playing at the doc office ...i lost it
christmas music playing everywhere, sappy,sad christmas music that only reminds me how wonderful christmas use to be.
mitchell , daddy was getting ready for work yesterday and when he left he comes in and gives me a peck on the cheek..it never woke me up until the door shut..right at that moment i thought of you..i sat up in bed and cried my little eyes out...you remember when i would be working backshift, you use to come in kiss me on the cheek and tuck me in a little tighter, well mitch when i first felt that peck i was alleep and in my head i thought for the quick second before waking up it was you. reminding me of how much you loved me.
mitchell this is your second christmas in heaven and im sure its nothing like christmas on earth but sweetie come visit us at christmas ..it would be the best present ever sunshine!!
love you always mom
Sunday, December 5, 2004 6:15 PM CST hi mitchell hun !! daddy and I put up your christmas tree today up at the cementry. your pictures kept blowing off but we manged to get them all back on. now in a few days ill put one up here at the house. filled with your beautiful face everywhere.
the Bereavement group had a memorial service today...and it was wonderful!! i cried threw all of it. your sunshiny face was there and lantz , matts and camerons . the kids up in heaven must be great friends because there moms and dads are realy nice!!i finally shared your angel picture..and i heard a comment behind me... one said ""wow cool"" i thought yes mitch is the coolest!! then another comment was ""beautiful"" there right you are beautiful!! i think what helped me the most in that service is i was sitting in the middle of nanny and grampy..i was crying and i looked at nanny she was crying and turned and looked at grampy ...he was crying...they miss you so so much.
dad starts his new job tommorw sunshine and i know you had something to do with that!! i havent seen dad this happy in a long time!! now ill i need is my christmas present buddy...im so ready to love another child as much as i love you!!! well sunshine , see you in my dreams.... love you always mom
Friday, November 26, 2004 6:17 PM CST new pics in photo page
well mitchell...what a week !!! i was looking all over the place for your christmas lights that you hang in your bedroom window every year and couldnt find them no where!!! i remember using them last year on our little tiny tree we put up, so i knew they were here somewhere. i found them buddy ... in your toy box with the lid closed !!! now whats up with that sunshine!!! lets make mom loose her marbles today!! well buddy there up in your window and shaped as a M .
Tonight daddy and i went for a drive and we saw a falling star !! it was so big and bright!! i made my wish!! im sure you heard my wish ,daddy got greedy ...he asked for 2 wishes, one he didnt tell me but one wish he asked for was to see and talk to you again... come see him tonight in his dream mitch ..dad misses you so so much!!! we took trooper and brandy up to ""visit "" with you tonight and trooper broke a part of your tree off...hes sorry ,and your lights arent working very well in the dark so we brought them home to change the battery ...anyway buddy im goign to bug your daddy and wait for family guy to come on ...that addicted cartoon we watch now!!
love ya to the moon baby
mom xoxox
Monday, November 22, 2004 9:17 AM CST hi mitchell hunny !!!
yet another christmas season is creeping up fast... and im starting to feel the effects again of not having you here this christmas. Daddy and i already agreed that we are putting up a tree decorated with your beautiful face. i tree full of your pictures !!! you will always be here spiritually!! I did go to walmart the other day!! i was impressed .... mitch it makes me wonder what christmas would be like this year if you were here, you would be 13 ...so no dinkies.. and i love playing with them !! we still have the mustang dinkie that you smashed wit ha hammer when you got mad a tony!!( smashy smashy ...i know your laughing already) dad know plays your ps2 and he beat your score !!! the nerve of him huh!! but he went under your name so its ok. mitch i want to watch your videos of you and i use to watch them all the time now i find it hard too ...sound wierd. its almost like i went backwards!!doesnt matter buddy i always miss you no matter whats going on in life. you were my side kick!! any hoo buddy i got candy canes upo at your site and over the next week or so we will put up your tree. love ya too the moon xoxox mom
Saturday, November 13, 2004 9:50 AM CST Mitchell i am having lots of wonderful dreams about you!!!! keep em coming baby ... love to the moon and back sweetie
mitchell its snowing out!!! the first real snow fall of the year and it brings such wonderful memories!! you fighting to get snowpants on to go sledding, poor trooper hauling your butt around in the snow...no ball fights... what i miss the most our first snowman we build together every year. i hope your still buliding those snowmnw but with clouds, with all your angel friends
xoxo mom
Tuesday, November 9, 2004 7:21 PM CST 
Rememberance day... a day we remember our fallen soldiers, our heros that fought the war that are still with us.I have the utmost respect for the men and women that fought in these wars for our freedom.
My fallen solider , my hero battled a battle for his life. Mitchell lost his battle but one his war against cancer. Mitchell has taught me so much during his battle with cancer,life is precious dont take it for granted,mitch didnt!! From D-day to the day mitch died he lived every single moment...stopping long enough to tell me how much he loved me and everyone else he loved.
Mitchell will always be my hero.. mitchell had taught so many people to love , live and forgive!! Until the day i die i will share in my fallen soldiers stories and will he will never be forgotten.
Saturday, October 30, 2004 1:57 PM CDT 18 months...a year and a half ...549 long days that mitchell left this world. i have had tough times and some days i was amazed i got threw them.
On wednesday i spent the afternoon in the ER, i wont go into details with why i was there. the nurse tries to stick me in a johnnie shirt and puts me in the same room that mitch took his bad sezure. All i could do was cry not because i was hurt, every emotion , feeling and memory rushed me in that room. i even remembered the doctor coming in and asking me to sign a DNR, somethign i had completely forgot about until i was in that room again. So it has been a rough week ,my blood pressure went threw the roof my nerves went south and i decided to step into lala land for a couple of days.coming back checking on the caringbridge kids i was happy to see kody is recovering good, but then heart broken to see cheyenne had passed away last night,both of these kids are listed in the kids links pages above.
well hello there sunshine!!! what a week huh ,bet you had a hard time trying to keep me relaxed this week huh buddy!!good thing is im feeling a bit better,halloween is still on sunshine!! kev and ashley are coming up to chill out with us. remember your favorite candies ,the rockets.. well last night when i made the bed a rocket wrapper dropped out of no where, you trying to make me loose my marbles ?? its ok buddy i picked up the wrapper and stuffed it in your BMW car ok.you remember the night we were sitting on each other beds throwing rockets at each other?? dad coming in and saying im not cleaning this mess and you looked at me and sadi""trooper"" troop came in and cleaned or mess :) all daddy did was laugh!!mitch i love you so so much buddy. love always mom xoxo
Wednesday, October 27, 2004 2:58 PM CDT 
This year for halloween im staying home and greeting the kids at the door with treats!! with mitchells favorite treats!!
hi mitchell hunny... makes me wonder if you keep just as busy up in heaven as you did down here.i bought big peanut free chocolate bars and chips for the kids for halloween. you see the tiny lil pumpkin i put up there with you at the cementry?? cute huh.keep watching over daddy and me love ya bunches love mom xoxo
P.S please continue to keep kody bear
in your prayers
Wednesday, October 20, 2004 4:08 PM CDT ************************************
please keep Kody Bear
in your prayers, hes having brain surgery on monday .
**************************************
this picture is from the wishmaker parade last saturday!! i was behins them driving mitchs car in the parade. It rain and i mean it rained the whole time but it was alot of fun. Thank you to all who joined in on the walk , thank you to those who pledged !!!
thanks everyone for signing mitchs guestbook it really helps me in more ways than you can imagine!!
Thursday, October 14, 2004 12:27 AM CDT Mitchell... this week had completely blown me away!! we all had our ketchup on our turkey. the pizza lunch at your old school was a sucess!! and its not over i still have the wish foundation parade this weekend !! its goign to be neat to see your friends again!! and your bench is at the school , its painted every color of the rainbow neat huh.then i was talking to this lady today and wow she put the finger right on the button knowing you huh...you bossy no never .... lol
i remember one night you asked mom make me some fries fries ..... i did
then you decide ....mom i dont want fries cook me some k-dinner..... i did
mom i dont want that, peel me an apple.... you ate that!! but then...mom go to the store i want some stinky chips(nachos)....off daddy goes to the store.
I miss all of it !!!
well sunshine keep the music playing.. i will too
love you always... MOM... i can still picture you with the hand up in the air doing the sticky icky icky thing... we have it on tape :)
love ya mom
Saturday, October 9, 2004 10:39 AM CDT Thanksgiving
A time of the year we all sit back and count are blessings...Last year it was hard to sit back and be thankful for anything i was missing the most important person at the table...my son.
This year i still wish mitchell was still here ... growling that he didnt want potatoes ...he wanted fries. Then drowning everything in ketchup, when mitch was here we use to go threw a bottle of ketchup in 3 days!!!sometimes even sooner. Mitch im sure will get me threw another holiday.
So this year im going to cook that turkey and thank god I have blessings to count!!
~Mitchell~ I have had the pleasure of learning so much from him. I am so proud to be his mom , even though hes not here physically, hes here in my heart always.I might have only had mitchell here on earth for 12yrs, 2 months and 15 days but at least he was here long enough to open my eyes up to the real world.My HERO
~Archie~ the man that will always pick me up when i am down.i love you so so much hun!!
~Family~ what would i do without them... i might vent and sometimes even push away but i love ya all
~Friends~ Maria im so glad you found mitchs site again !! your guestbook entries are much needed support!! love ya gf.All my friends from recent to elementry school thank you all for listening to me growl... the girls at work hear it all the time!!
~Caring bridge~ what a great bunch of people i have "met" threw this site.Theres some great kids and angels out there that have stolen a little peice of my heart.I may not be great a siging the guestbooks on a regular basis but i think of them often.
There is so much to be thankful for one thing would be that finally during this long lonely road of grief theres a light at the end ... i like to think of it as mitchell telling me hes ok , and that ill be ok.
The doctors at the IWK doing my surgery!! giving me the chance to be a parent again , not a mom... ill always be a mom !!
Mitchell when people still say to me your mitchs mom i hold my head up as high as it can go. i am honured to be you mom and always will be. When me and daddy have another baby i cant wait to tell this child all about you. i might leave out some stuff huh!!! like the picture i have of you i said tell me ya love me and you stuck up your finger!! This thankgiving mitchell im going to put ketchup on my turkey in honor of you !! i hope it tastes alright!! loving and missing you always MOM xox
Wednesday, October 6, 2004 4:00 PM CDT Hi mitchell hunny....
well things seem to moving along with the wish foundation.i think theres a hotdog lunch coming up at he school ...yup im going. last year i wore your trailer park boy hat this year i dunno yet. i wear your hats all the time!! well theres some that we dont the dale sr. one we dont wear.
I seen one of your friends yesterday...he waved like crazy at me. im so glad they still do that it makes me feel good knowing that there thinking ...theres mitchs mom.
i remember in school i use to go on class trips with you and the kids would say excuse me mitchs mom... i would say babk im abbie ...now i love it I`M MITCHELLS MOM... well sunshine daddy just asked if i wanted to go for a drive so im headed out sunshine..love you always babes!!
Friday, September 24, 2004 12:44 AM CDT
Walk for Wishes is coming up on october 16th for the Wish foundation
and yep im doing it again this year in memory of mitch !!wanna send me a pledge ??
you can make a check out to ....childrens wish foundation
and send it to me ill put it down for a pledge.
Abbie Fraser
22 Bayside dr.
Truro n.s
B2N 5A9
Canada
Once again the ugly sign of grief shines threw making it more impossible to see the light.I have been so hateful lately and have realized its all me !!! I`m having such a hard time playing the role of a childless mom ... i want to be a mom so so bad it has consumed every part of my being.If im not crying of the fact that i miss mitch so so much, i`m crying over the fact that im not pregnant yet and so so scared that i`m stuck living out the rest of my life a ""childless mom"". My heart hurts so much for mitch, My arms long for a hug, My cheeks cries out for a kiss. Mitch will always be with me in my heart, mind and spirit.I`m almost positive that i will have another beautiful child but its very hard to think positive when i have lost the most important thing in my life...Mitchell, now an angel and i bet a beautiful one , mischievious with out a doubt, looking out for his family and friends im sure of, granting archie and i permission to have another child, without a doubt....uncondtional love.
Mitch .... whats the hold up there sunshine??? its been 3 months and still no baby buddy!! me a daddy got talking last night i was telling dad that the doctor told me to relax !!!! what is that all about ... you remember the time i cleaned out your hospital room in about 10 seconds. i still get upset when i think of that. i remember it so clearly ..it was when you had your first focal seizure and they were trying to put yet another IV in you. i remember looking at you red in the face crying and you looked at me and said "" mommy help""...i lost it didnt i, but you didnt get that other IV, they had decided to give the medication in pill form... probably because of your crazy mom huh....i remember daddy went for mc donalds at the time and when he got back you couldnt wait to tell him about my hissy fit !!
well mitch hunny miss ya lots love ya more each day my forever brightest star
love mom xoxox
p.s. before i close theres another new link above its childrens link page. please take the time to visit them.
Monday, September 13, 2004 6:47 PM CDT Yet another week has passed ,this week has been a good one lots of dreams about mitch , we planted 2 trees where we use to live(house bulldozed long story). An apple tree and a weeping willow tree , theres no plaques there yet... soon. i roamed around the yard in the ditches ...remembering mitch playing in that spot, and this spot ,oh my god and look a smashed dinkie of mitchs !!! how that boy loved a hammer and a dinkie!!! destuctive little bugger at times. then walking a little farther i was shocked to find laying in the ditch one of mitchs wrestlers !! george the animal steele!! What a treat to find something mitch had put there... no probably thrown there,and plant trees in his memory. Our next door neighbours from our old house are going to try to get the street named after mitch that would be cool.so all in all its been a great week. i still miss my boy but he lives on in spirit by alot of people that love him dearly. My sister called today to tell me my nephfew had to make a family crest for a school project and in one part of his crest he drew angel mitch now that just topped it for me. jordan(nephew) says that mitch is his hero !!
well mitchell hunny .. we had a grasshopper go for another cruise in the car today to the gas station!! im sure you had some input that. love you baby to the moon and back love always mom xox
Monday, September 6, 2004 1:48 PM CDT I thought i would wait just a little bit before updating , my moods have been way out there and nothing but depressing.I am doing a little better last week was overwhelming with school starting ... i want part of that world again so bad. i miss packing mitchs lunches and then him growling saying he wasnt eating it. i miss sneaking into school at lunch to bring mitch a happy meal from mcdonalds. Mitch would of been going into grade 8 and i would of been doing none of this i would of been handing him 5 bucks for lunch and him saying see ya after school , would he still of given me a kiss before he left for school im going to think in my head he would of.... yeah right im back down from la la land ...lol . I remember in grade 3 and 4 when i would kiss him at the school he would be so so mad at me , he would wipe of that kiss and say do you mind ?? ooo so many memories that i pray to god i will never forget.
I was talking to my mom the other night, we were saying the other night that mitch would never swear. after mitch was terminal i didnt care what words come out of his mouth but he still didnt swear ...well he loved calling me dumbass. mitch also loved flipping the bird... alot of pictures i cant share with you is because i would say mitch tell me you love me he would give me the finger. pricless... just pricless
well mitchell hunny, that was a rough week for me. i can usually get myself settled down but not this week the tears just fell freely. i felt a little bad for dad because i was so scared i was going to get him all blah but he helped me alot. he out drving your 4 wheeler as i typing !! im hoping your right along there with him buddy. well sunshine love ya lots miss ya more
love mom xox
Monday, August 30, 2004 12:54 AM CDT 16 months today and it feels no different, i still miss mitch just as much , i still hurt just as much.I have noticed that people have been going up to mitchs gravesite to ""visit" with him. my nephews left some tatoos at his site and a spongebob i noticed a medal was there from the dragon boat races ... im sure as the day is long was left by uncle dave. the golf ball is still there, the rocks that my mom and dad left. Arch and i still go up every sunday and will forever until im reunited with mitchell.
hi there grasshopper!! hows my sunshine doing,i have been missing you so so much lately,i think its school starting its killing me buddy i dont get to go shopping for school stuff. the provincial ex was last week and we didnt go the smash up derby isnt the same without you hooting and hollering and the cars.i seen one of your buddies from school today walking down the street and i even found that hard. it makes me wonder what you would of looked like now, and how you would of like going into grade 8 this year.i remember you said one day thta you quit school remember that ?? momma just didnt make you go, i was being greedy i wanted you all to myself ,the time we had left was pricless. you remember the time you gave dave the purple nose!! just before he had to go to a meeting omg that was funny i dont think i will ever forget how hard you laughed ,,what did you call it a purple nurple? well mitch theres no baby yet i pray soon ,i miss everything about being a parent, yes mitch even are arguments, i miss the way you use to fling your head back laughing in the car when i would say piss off in a funny voice !! i know your laughing already just thinking about it huh.any way buddy i love you so so much , meet you in my dreams love always mom xox
p.s. thank you kim !! Kody`s mom for asking lori to send me the cute little grasshopper...thank you lori !!
Thursday, August 19, 2004 10:31 AM CDT You know what feels great??
knowing mitch is still sending us signs. Arch and i have both noticed that we got lots of grasshoppers around but as soon as we go out the front door we usually got one flying by our heads or stuck to the house or even better yet ones running into us like one did just this morning to archie... its mitchell telling the grasshoppers to say good morning daddy !!
We now have 4 doves that visit us daily , we did only have one he showed up a couple of days before mitch passed away and im assuming its the same dove.and this little dude brought some friends. I love listening to them the cooing sound they make.
I forgot to mention theres a new link above that says mitchs car, take the time while your here to look at the car we drive in memory of mitchell.
hi mitchell hunny ..well wasnt that nice of kevin going to the cementry and putting the golf tees in the shape of a heart. i dont think people really know how much i love it when they go to the cementry or sign your guestbook, it makes me feel so good buddy. its mine and daddys anniversary tommorw buddy were not doing anything special just as long as were together were happy , we would be even happier if some handsome little angel named mitch could send us a little anniversary gift any thing sunshine even just a beautiful dream about. love ya grasshopper to the moon love always mom xoxox 
Tuesday, August 10, 2004 10:34 AM CDT arch and i went to the drivein last night it was a good outing ,we went with my sister and the family and it was another small step for us but were getting threw it.and the last time we were here(westville) was when we got married 5 years ago.
I had said to arch last night that i feel guilty doing fun things without mitch. arch said he didnt feel that way he just said that it was boring without mitch. mitch put the spice in everything we did together. Then the night goes along and i get this wierd feeling like i hit a wall ...mitch is gone does that not sound right out to lunch or what. i missed mitch all night then watching one part of a movie it hit me like a ton of bricks!!
Along with the reality that mitch is gone other things hit me ..yes its another funny story.. arch and i got married when mitch was 8 but we been together for 15 years but anyway,we had deciced to go to westville shopping , mitch picked up a remote truck and we roamed most of the day. Mitch went to school the following day and everyone had asked mitch how the wedding was and what you did on the weekend well mitchs story wents as followed ...
dad and mom got married then we went to africa and bought a truck !!! needless to say the teachers asked me how are honeymoon was in africa when i went to pick him up at school.
mitch kept calling westville africa dont ask me how that gets mixed up but it was funny. another great memory that will be forever remembered !!
hi mitchell hunny miss ya alot lately buddy but i bet your some proud of daddy and me for starting to do things ,we both miss you so so much love always mom xox
Saturday, July 31, 2004 8:58 AM CDT It was 15 months yesterday that mitch passed away and i was having a bad day, and it was a full moon and believe me the moon truly does effect my moods.
It was about 7pm and arch asked me if i wanted to go night fishing at the beach ,catching sharks ,bass ,light a fire and enjoy the scenery....me all i wanted to do is sit on my couch and do nothing , but i decided to go. we went with two good friends.
on the way there i looked up at the full moon, there was a face in the moon.i pointed it out to arch he said mitch was happy i went being the first adventure without him. that made me feel a little better. and when we got there i looked up at the moon to see that face in the moon it was still there but it was now a happy face with a huge grin.by this time i knew my boy was with me for sure. We set up the fire and arch comes back with a rock pecks me on the cheek and says love ya...a heart shaped rock ,how nice is that knowing full well mitch use to collect cool rocks.
being there was the most calming place i have been in a long long time. the moonlight on the water, the waves crashing ,fire sizzling,i was using mitch fishing pole, just everything about last night gave me a sense of comfort especially that smiling face in the moon, by this time my smily faced moon was gone but it was ok i was filled with so much comfort that he was here with us. i couldnt have asked for a better night.
Of course no one caught a fish. by this time it was 12:30 am and we were packing things up, the water was splashing putting out the fire, i looked up just one more time to see that smily face and there was a cloud over the moon shaped as a fish with the moon as his eye. everyone seen it right away when i pointed it out. im sure mitch was making fun of us that we didnt catch the fish.
Mitch were you making fun of us, not much of fishermen are we. but of course seeing a fish shaped cloud just convinces me that you were making fun of daddy and tony. thats ok me and melissa were too. and how daddy found that heart shaped rock in that dark i`ll never know. mitch i know that was you telling me that its ok to have a little fun and that you will always be with me. im going to put the picture up top of you holding up your fish, it was the last time you went fishing and that day you were the only one to catch a fish. love ya sweetie to the moon
xox mom
Friday, July 23, 2004 4:57 PM CDT hi mitchell hunny..well i cleaned out your closet just organized and holy you got alot of magazines !!!! you remember that red dinkie car you were convinced someone took it well it was hiding in back of the closet. all your movies have been organized...i cant find the joe dirt case buddy,i did alot of crying this afternoon ill tell ya,but im ok i needed it big time. yes buddy nanny will probably call me after she reads this and say i read your journal are you ok... im going to tell her no i need i foot massage ...ha ha thats something you would of pulled off.
you remember the picture above when trooper had that cone on his head.. that was funny wasnt it.remember you were teasing troop...you would put the bucket on your head and say.. "" look troop troop im a bucket head like you "" and trooper use to get mad and go down stairs. you know what he stil gets mad at us. know trooper misses you like crazy. anyhow buddy i got get off this pc my butt is numb lol and i found this little dude i thought of you its something you use to always do to me!!
love ya forever mom xoxox
Tuesday, July 20, 2004 5:47 PM CDT ironic song .... i will always remember you mitch...will you remember me ?? love you always mom xox
song playing is will you remember me by sarah mc Lachlan
Friday, July 16, 2004 11:38 AM CDT That song that playing was another one of mitchs favorite songs, its sung by snow and the name of the song is missing you. i think of all the songs mitch use to listen too and wow, mitch had an old sole. this song here playing goes,
everytime i close my eyes i think of you
remembering all the things that we use to do
now your out there so far away, just the memories of yesterday.
now i need to find a way to be with you always
and it goes on.we actually have this song playing in the background of one of our tapes of mitch and arch is singing it too him,and of course mitch is telling him to shut up because he sucks at singing... ooo those tapes what would i do without them tapes.
hey mitch hunny well we had supper the other day up with you again and the pizza was yucky!!! and the ants wouldnt stay out of my pop!! see what maria wrote in the guestbook she likes the picture on your stone i do too that was your last school picture and a handsome one. you must remember maria buddy she came to see ya at the hospital and the night me and daddy got married she fed you pickle chips all night !! now ya remember huh. well sweetie miss ya like crazy love ya lots
mom xoxo
Wednesday, July 7, 2004 10:14 AM CDT summer is here and its just as boring as last year !!!
arch and i are going to try to do some things this year i know mitch would want us too. arch has already went fishing a couple of times ...i didnt go i was to busy growling about the bugs !! and that was always a mitch and arch thingy. A me and mitch thingy was shopping and movies just anything. one thing we always did every summer was clam digging, we would have a ball. One year mitch found a crab , he had it in a bucket with the clams and he was taking it home ... he had plans he was tieing a string around it and keeping it for a pet !! Arch had the bucket and was cleaning the clams and the crab got out... them things are fast in the water ..especially if this crab knew was mitchs intentions were !! Mitch was so mad he stomped off not even looking where he was going and ended up getting stuck in the muck...needless to say there is a pair of sandals in the sand to this day.
hi mitch hunny just thought i would tell ya a love ya and miss ya so much. i found 2 fourleafed clovers too buddy one up ant the cementry and one under our maple tree and home... love ya sunshine to the moon
mom xoxox
Saturday, July 3, 2004 11:05 AM CDT oh how i miss those big beautiful blue eyes looking at me with such love... his hand patting me on the back telling me everything is ok, his gentle kiss telling me how much he loves me, his hug that feels my whole body with warmth of his love.
I have had this wonderful child in my life for 12 years 2 months and 15 days, and i wouldnt give it up for the world.god to what i wouldnt of done to keep him here longer. the hardest thing was letting go.
The night mitch passed away it was the hardest thing to do was .. to whisper in his ear that is was ok to go and mommy and daddy will be ok. when all i wanted to do is yell and scream and tell him to wake up. i wanted him to pull another mitchell. i wanted just one more day then another ..then another.
to look up after mitch took his last breath and look into everyones eyes hurt so much.To look in archies eyes knowing that his son is now gone to heaven,to know archie has been robbed of so many things in life,so many things they will never do. To look in my parents eyes hurt to know that this was the last time they seen there grandchild alive. To look into cheryls(my sister) eyes knowing how much she loved mitch ,they had a bond that was amazing. im not sure what people would of seen in my eyes but i can tell you what i felt in my heart when mitch took his last breath, broke shattered into a thousand pieces, and everytime i would touch him or kiss him my heart broke some more. emptiness complete emptiness that over time has filled with beautiful memories.
mitch you remeber the day i snapped that picture above, we were on our way to walmart another one of your shopping sprees. i wanted the picture of you beautiful eyes. well sunshine love ya a bunch ,love you for always my son
love mom xoxox
Monday, June 28, 2004 3:18 PM CDT As any other sunday archie and i were up to the cementry to visit mitch. arch put more varnish on his fence and i sat in my lawn chair. just before i went for my surgery i asked me to give me a sign that everything was going to be ok. i looked and looked for a 4 leaf clover for good luck, mitc hand i use to find them all the time were we use to live. i found a four leaf clover at the cementry !! all i could do was cry isnt that just something !! i asked mitch to help me find one i didnt get it when i wanted it but i did get one ..amazing huh
hi mitch hunny..the four leaf clover made me feel so much better i was so happy when i found it !! i cried i laughed i was so happy to find one and i wasnt really looking i just had my head down walking to the car only because it still is sore to walk a little.i love ya sunshine to the moon !! love always mom xoxox
Friday, June 18, 2004 8:46 AM CDT I am still so over joyed with the fact that i have another chance to have another child. it made me sit back and truly think of all the wonderful times i had with mitch.
I have so many people to thank I`m not even sure where to start, my doctor for doing this surgery, hes great!! the hospital for doing the surgery free of charge. the spirital counselors for everything they did.everyone that wish me well and good luck,, just everyone what a bunch of wonderful people that i know and that i have gotten to know. i thank you all
i remembered this one time i took him swimming at a local pool.i was sitting there watching mitch and all the kids playing and i noticed one little guy kept go under the water.i flew out of my chair and grabbed him out of the pool. needeless to say he was over his head and the little guy couldnt swim,his dad thanked me and back i went to my chair. well mitch thought i was a super hero he was telling everybody he ran into that day. ""my mom saved a kid from drowning"" he was so proud of me.mitch was about six when that happened. That is how much of a great kid mitch was. mitch always made me feel great at what ever i did , he was that way to everyone actually.
hi mitch hunny !! well im feeling a little better. Your bed is very comfy dad says that he might just stay there !!! forget that idea huh. dad is sleeping in your bed its to high for me to get in it and you know how dad tosses and turns in bed. i took a photo album of you with me to the hospital and eveyone i seen i gave them the book to look at. all i talked about was you. i remember you would wake up after surgery swinging your fists i woke up thinking the blood pressure thingy was a tv remote and wouldnt give it to the nurse !! funny huh. well mitch babes love ya a bunch miss ya lots love ya forever xoxox
mom
Sunday, June 13, 2004 9:34 AM CDT im home im going to keep it short cause it hurts to sit at the computer !! Yvonnne made me laugh with the dear abbie (smile)
i keep ya all posted ,thank you mom for letting everyone know.
mitch i could nt of done it without the love and support i felt all around me. i love you baby boy to the moon love mom xoxox
Wednesday, June 9, 2004 1:54 PM CDT check out the cool border !!! mitchell loved the fast and the furious it was one of his favorite movies,im not sure if it was the cool cars or hot chicks god love him.when we went to flordia for his wish trip we didnt expect to see the cars to the movie but we did,,more great memories!!mitch loved cool cars ,flames and loud music..the louder the better. we could never figure out how he didnt get a headache with the music that loud and mitch bopping his head back and forth. As arch and i said before that tumor didnt slow him down or change his attitude in anyway.
surgery is tommorw so im not sure when i`ll be able to update mitchs page again, mitchs computer is downstairs in his playroom and im sure ill be to tender for stairs. im sure mom or cheryl can write in the guestbook how things went until i get to the pc.....hint hint you 2.
hi mitchell hunny well you got a big job to do tommorw.. to look out for me. it would be nice to have a beautiful dream about you tonight and tommorw while im in th OR.mitch i just want to let you know that i love you so so much and even when i do have another baby i will still always love you just as much.. you are my baby boy,i know your saying ""Mom im not a baby" ill always love you and you will always love me.
well what do ya think i bet you love the border !! your favorite color and your favorite car from the movie.made especially just for you !!
you know what popped in my head today !! remember when you were about 3 you would call strawberries (beesees) i can still hear it in my head "" gimmie some more bee sees mom"" well hunny i must get things in order around here so i can chill a little bit. love ya lots,miss ya more and kisses to heaven. mom xoxo
Friday, June 4, 2004 1:23 PM CDT Mitch first heard the song "my sacrifice" when he was doing his radiation. he had asked what sacrifice meant. archie had told mitch it meant to give up something. Mitch looked at archie and said "" dad .. i`m sacrificing my hair to get better"" he would use that word in every sentence he possibly could. actually i remember that day mitch was in the hospital to get his shunt put in, when annie pooh would walk by the room he would blast the music just to get a charge out of her.i had the song playing on the site but took it off some songs are still hard to listen too.
I was talking to one of mitch friends the other day and she was going on about what she wanted to be when she grew up. i got thinking mitch did say he wanted to be a RCMP officer like ken..but i remember mitch writting RIP tupac on his belly and proudly told everyone he was going to be a gangster !!! I finally convinced him to wash the art work off only because when he sat down you could only see RIP because his belly hid the Tupac .
Mitch buddy only 6 days to my surgery. remember when you told me that if i ever went into the hospital you would look after me and go get me french fries at the cafeteria.. well buddy i wont be hungry but i do need you there with me that day.there going to let me keep my mom ring on that you got me.
Me and nanny were looking threw some of your stuff i came across some very nice drawings and some notes that i havent quit figured out... omg your closet is still a mess buddy. one of these days i`ll go threw the closet and just sort threw your things. i stopped sleeping with cheeks he looks well loved , hes back on your bed with the congo wayne gave me. well buddy time do do some much needed laundry. love ya a bunch ,miss you lots , kisses and hugs
love mom xox
June 4th 2004 at 6:14pm This is what i just found looking out my window thankyou so so much mitchell hunny its beautiful!! love you mom xox
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Thursday, May 27, 2004 12:38 AM CDT What a dream!!!! the dreams i have been having lately are just amazing.
this dream i was chasing after mitchs dog brandy i was carrying mitchs fence we put up at the cementry. all of a sudden i heard ""MOM"" i turned around it was mitch, we both ran towards each other and i said i havent had a hug from you in such i long time, mitch said yes mom so so long. then i woke up !!! to get back to that dream was impossible. i come to the conclusion that mitch come to give me a wonderful hug. he looked great in my dream.
mitchell ... you coming to see me was wondeful, i sat back and i can still see you in that dream...you hair is combed!!!! and you dont got your chubby cheeks anymore, but your still beautiful. well mitch your dogs are still driving me mad, brandy wont stay out of the flower beds and trooper is just being trooper. daddy is driving me mad too, we are so so bored without you here, and me i cant stand myself somedays!!! thats just when i get into crank mode. my surgery is coming up and im nervous now.its in 14 days !! you`ll be with me during my surgery i know it. i have been feeling you all around me lately anyway its such i nice comforting feeling.love ya buddy to the moon.xox
love always mom
Sunday, May 16, 2004 3:28 PM CDT Here I sit broken hearted....paid for the internet and only .....
actually im doing good. i made some huge steps and i have been doing great.yes i miss mitch more and more everyday but i can just feel him around me,, i have always said he will be forever in my heart but over the past week or so its like a calming an acceptance. yesterday was the first day i ever ever said mitch died !! i have always said mitch passed away or gone , it threw me when i said it i was talking to mom on the phone so thank god she knew why i paused.i know in my heart mitch is happy and hes looking out for his momma so its time for me to start making mitchell proud of me.
its time to take life by the hand the same way mitch did and enjoy it !! i have been in my shell just to long and it feels good to see the light again. i even drove mitchs 4 wheeler yesterday !!! only down the driveway but i did.. baby steps just baby steps.. the last time i was on mitch 4 wheeler was with him and he scared the pee out of me.
So i bring to my conclusion that im ok im going to make it i can just feel it.
hi mitch .... remember this buddy...""" slow down crazy man""" you and that 4 wheeler...ya know i miss it.i washed your 4 wheeler yesterday buddy and no i didnt stick the hose in the tail pipe and clean the motor like you did to your other one you had ...lol i bet your leaving tracks up there in heaven having so much fun.mitch im getting stronger everyday and i know you will be there every step of the way for me buddy. you thought i was going to write farted up there on the first line didnt ya ?? i know you would of ya ham. love ya buddy to the moon love mom xoxo
Sunday, May 9, 2004 2:01 PM CDT To all the moms out there happy mothers day,to those moms with angels i wish you peace and may your heart be filled with everlasting memories on this very special day
This is my 2nd moms day without mitch and to be honest its harder maybe because i was still so numb from mitch passing away last year so close to mothers day.
Archie came up with a great idea for moms day and we just got back. arch and I went to the cementry and had a picnic... before you think are you crazy no im not. it felt so right to be there spending mothers day there.It was wonderful sitting there,the cool breeze hitting my face the warm of the sun ,remembering all our special times together
yesterday was my birthday but still it just didnt sit right.I can just feel mitch all around me today and its the most warming feeling i can have.
mitchell you know what i miss the most about mothers day? all those things you use to make in school.i still have the book you made me one year for mothers day, remember the joke you wrote in it? what do frogs eat for lunch? hambugers and flies ... funny huh. i miss you buddy so much but you are always in my heart,love ya sunshine to the moon. love mom xox
Friday, April 30, 2004 6:06 PM CDT today was really tough to get threw until i got to the cementry being greeted with lots of people that loved mitch. I thank every one of you guys for coming !! it helped in so many ways !!! the sense of comfort knowing that mitch is not going to be forgotten by this loving group of people that were there. there were a few couldnt make it but they sent their love which means so much too..
there had to be at least 70 balloons every color of the rainbow. again thank you for all your kind thoughts,guestbook entries , and love you sent to arch, me and mitch on this special day.
I got a gift too which means the world to me.. one of mitchs friends gave me a beanie baby(congo) you see mitch had a congo and where mitch went congo went including heaven. now i have a congo 2 that will be forever treasured !! thank you wayne from the bottom of my heart.
mitchell hunny how was that for balloons huh !! we all love and miss you so so much sunshine forever and always love always mommy xox.there are new pics in the photo album of today
Monday, April 26, 2004 5:13 PM CDT In four days it will be 1 year that mitch passed away, and it getting harder and harder to except all if it.I can`t say a year ago we did this or went here ,there is no more firsts and most of all its still very painful. I`m going insane with the ulimate question "" how you doing"" i hate it it drives me mad. Think about it how do you think im doing, i miss my boy , i miss my old life, i miss being a parent,i miss him hugging me,i even miss him calling me dumbass, i just miss everything. I think of all the happy times we have had and i want more !! i want to be happy again but i just don`t know how without mitch pyshically here, he was my life and still is a very important part of my life.
On a good note i did have 2 dreams about mitch this week i even touched him in finally in my dreams a wonderful hug it was, it seems like every time i have a dream of mitch i wake myself up then just fighting to get back to this dream.its almost like im waking up to see him again.
On friday we are having a balloon release at the cementry for mtich i have invited friends and family.I am really nervous about this when im having a shitty day i like to isolate myself but im not doing it this time,im making mitch proud, im not hiding out this time. im going to share it with the people that loved mitch.
Mitchell hunny you have alot of ballons to catch on friday , and lots of notes to read. missing you always ,loving you forever , love mom xoxox
Monday, April 19, 2004 4:22 PM CDT I have noticed my mind is a blank when it comes to what i`ve done even yesterday, but ask me what i did on this date a year ago i can tell you in full detail!
last year on this date we were enjoying the day, mitch was out on his fourwheeler having so much fun. This was the last time he was on his four wheeler.
i have been so over whelmed with emotions lately ,, i think insanity has hit full force. i get those days that im having a great day then all of a sudden WHAM it its me my boy is gone! i know it sounds strange but its so so true i miss the little ham. I am heading to a support group on wednesday i hope i can handle it. Mitch anniversary date is fast approaching and its getting to me so maybe i need this support group more than i letting myself belive it.
On a good note i have my surgery date for june 10th. I am going in to have my tubes reversed. i have had a dream that i did have a baby. mitch was sitting in the rocking chair holding his baby sister. in my dream he called her Hannah Jo , so if i do get pregnant and its a girl ya know the name. mitch always asked for a baby brother and wanted to name it joe dirt... so if i get pregnant and have a boy it will be Joseph ...sorry mitchell hunny but i just can`t go with the dirt thing.
Well mitch dad just walked in the door sweetie so i guess i`ll go bug em huh!! mitch we watched your video tapes again and we laughed so hard threw them , the things that came out of your mouth!! then you said on the tape i got the bestest mom and dad in the whole world!! guess what i got the bestest son in the world sunshine ...YOU
well sweetie time to bug your daddy, love ya a bunch, miss ya like crazy, love ya to the moon.. love always mom xoxox
Friday, April 9, 2004 9:06 AM CDT here comes yet another holiday, i get threw these holidays but finding them harder each time.another holiday that i dont get to celebrate with mitch. thinking on last years holiday it was on april 22 then just eight days later mitch passed away. its bringing me closer and closer to one whole year without him !! i never thought i would make it. i was always with mitch ,,i remember one day he asked to drive his bike to school i said yes but i didnt want to,, so off he went to school and i get in my car and follow him !!! now if that sounds nuts when he got out of school i was parked at tim hortons hoping he wouldnt see me follow him home...it didnt work i get a tap tap tap on my window and him saying "" mom go home im ok"" once again its makes me belive to this day with out mitch im ok because hes ok.
hi mitchell hunny ... sing it with me"" here comes easter peter tail"" oo mitch you are my sunshine forever and always even when the skies are grey.did you get your hug today?? love ya buddy so so much much love mom xoxoxox
a girlfriend from work sent me this ... thankyou ang
The Four Candles
The Four Candles burned slowly.
Their Ambiance was so soft you
could hear them speak... The first candle said, "I Am Peace, but these days, nobody wants to keep me lit." Then Peace's flame slowly diminishes and goes out completely. The second candle says, "I Am Faith, but these days, I am no longer indispensable." Then Faith's flame slowly diminishes and goes out completely. Sadly the third candle spoke, "I Am Love and I haven't the strength to stay lit any longer."
"People put me aside and don't understand my importance. They even forget to love those who are nearest to them." And waiting no longer, Love goes out completely. Suddenly... A child enters the room and sees the three candles no longer burning. The child begins to cry, "Why are you not burning? You are supposed to stay lit until the end." Then the Fourth Candle spoke gently to the little boy, "Don't be afraid, for I Am Hope, and while I still burn, we can re-light the other candles." With Shining eyes the child took the Candle of Hope and lit the other three candles. Never let the Flame of Hope go out of your life.
With Hope, no matter how bad things look and are...Peace, Faith and Love can Shine Brightly in our lives.
Author Unknown
Saturday, March 27, 2004 3:49 PM CST Tuesday March 30th 2004
11 months ago today was the last time i held mitchell,touched him,kissed him but will forever keep loving him.i miss everything about mitch.
somedays are a blur you think did this really happen? only when reality smacks you in the face. i hate everything about griefing not a nice word in my thoughts how many things i have to miss out on, but then i think of everything i got to do, im so lucky. i got to enjoy 12 wonderful years with the most beautiful person in the world... so beautiful in my eyes,to beautiful for this world. it just the hardest thing to let him go. to say to him that night that its ok to go. i didnt want him to go i wanted him here with me alive and happy.Mitch will always be with me in my heart and soul, and he will always have a part of me, my heart,my love for mitchell will never die.
i just remembered something really funny. when mitch was about 3 at easter time he was singing a song"here comes peter cotton tail" it was so cute but mitch sang it wrong he would sing "" heres comes easter peter tail"" now isnt that cute ?? i can still here that in my head.
Mitchell hunny sorry buddy but i had to tell that story because when im old and forget everything i can read it and remember .... of course you already thought i was old compared to trish stratus!!! love ya sunshine to the moon.xox
this is a song playing my mom told me about its just beautiful thank you mom love ya, josh groban, to where you are
Who can say for certain, maybe you're still here.
I feel you all around me, your memories so clear.
Deep in the stillness, I can hear you speak.
You're still an inspiration, can it be?
That you are mine, forever love,
And you are watching over me from up above.
Fly me up to where you are, beyond the distant star.
I wish upon tonight to see you smile.
If only for awhile to know you're there.
A breath away's not far, to where you are.
Are you gently sleeping, here inside my dream?
And isn't faith believing, all power can't be seen.
As my heart holds you just one beat away,
I cherish all you gave me everyday.
'Cause you are mine forever love,
Watching me from up above.
And I believe that angels breathe.
And that love will live on and never leave.
Fly me up to where you are, beyond the distant star
I wish upon tonight to see you smile.
If only for awhile to know you're there.
A breath away's not far to where you are.
I know you're there.
A breath away's not far to where you are.
love ya always mitch xoxox
Wednesday, March 24, 2004 2:11 PM CST this will be short im having promblems with my wrists and its painful to be on the pc,
today theres a special person in my life thats celebrating a birthday .. its my sister cheryl aka crusty as mitch called her... sorry cheryl i know ya love it.i just wanted everyone that comes into this site to know how much i love my sister and how much she loves me!! cheryl mitchell loves you so so much but you already know that.
mitchell hunny love ya to the moon miss ya a bunch
love always mom
xoxoxox
i saw the movie the passion of christ , what a powerful movie. it hurt to watch it moved me in ways i could never imagine. at the end of the movie with mary looking ahead holding her only son i was fixed on her eyes, i seen my pain threw them.
Friday, March 12, 2004 7:39 PM CST I'm the ray of light when the sun starts to shine
And you'll see that that face in the moon is mine.
When you start thinking there's no one to love you,
You can talk to me through the Lord above you.
I'll whisper my words through the leaves on the trees,
And you'll feel my presence in the soft summer breeze.
I'm the hot salty tears that flow when you weep
And the beautiful dreams that come when you sleep.
To all of you I hold so dear
Weep no more, I'll always be here.
For all the cherished memories we share
Just look for me, I'm everywhere
missing you more and more mitchell
love always mom
xoxox
this was an email my mom wrote too me ,mom if you want me to move it off the page just tell me ok, its personal but it helped me so so much.
I can imagine that you are feeling like Sally when you read this. Maybe your letter comes in with the next rainbow. But don't look too hard for it, it is right under your nose. But always remember - Mitchell was a pure shining star long before he came into your life and now after his trials (some worse than anyone of us might know in our lives) he is radiating a brilliant light again - When he was with us here, he always thought about others, worrying about someone else, and certainly was able to express that concern and care. That is something a lot of us cannot do in our many years here. Wisdom come not with age, but with a purity of heart, and Mitchell certainly had a pure heart. Mitchell had the heart of a wonderful, inquisitive child, but his mind was always filled with the attitude and wisdom of an adult, knowing when to ask and never being afraid of the answers. He gave us and yet learned so much in front of us, and yet he also taught us so much in his short years. He was truly a gift. A very precious gift! One that we must always remember with love, respect and always hold him in an honorable place in our lives and loves. Often we look at life and wonder just what is going on in our lives to 'deserve' this kind of treatment. I often think that too, but I also think sometimes that we must have been somebody special and so blessed to receive a child such as Mitchell. He was an angel ... already with wings. He literally floated into our lives and kept us in line for a long time. I remember Dad talking about life and illness and how we should always remember that life is a precious gift to be received by all. What we do with our lives is more important than the length of days we are here. I know that this might be hard to hear, but also we need to remember that Mitchell came here with a mission, just like the rest of us. Everyone has a mission, even you and me. Whether you know it or not, your mission was to be Mitchell's mom, and Archie's was to be Mitchell's dad. A difficult and almost impossible job over the past few years, but I know that you would not let anyone take that job and give it to someone else. Just like my and dad's job was to be Mitchell's grandparents, and your parents. While I remember Mitchell with many tears and laughter some days, I also thank God that I was strong enough to be able to be with Mitchell and you and Archie over Mitchell's lifetime. I consider it a blessing to have been part of Mitchell's life and to have been his nanny, and I know that your dad feels that way too. And now I know that Mitchell is look ing out for you and us, I also know that he is enjoying his freedom in his new body, with angel's wings, floating on the air from cloud to cloud. Making others laugh and teaching others the meaning of life. He knew the meaning of life long before we recognized it in him. His conversations about heaven and who was there and what it was like let me know that he knew much more than we thought and he had other angels looking after him. I am so glad you changed that picture of him on the home page to the one with angel's wings. It certainly is my favorite, but I don't need to see him with angel's wings to know that he has them. He always did in my book. He was and continues to be the most precious part of my life. Abbie I don't know where I am going with this, but I just sat down and started writing - I needed to say some of this to you, to let you know that I recognize Mitchell as the brightest star in MY sky at night and when there are clouds, he is still up there playing peekaboo through the clouds. He will never be forgotten, never, not by me nor your dad. There is not a day that goes by we don't think about him and we talk about him everyday. Daily I tell him I love him. Like you, we would love to have him here, but unfortunately for us, it is not part of the plan for our lives. We love him still , but know that he must be busy with whatever God has in mind for him, loving and watching out for us is a full-time job for him right now. So we must carry on with this life we have left to live, whether it is to give him the baby 'brother' that he wanted or to get involved with some personal care for sick kids or adults. Who knows any better than you and ARchie what it is like to be the mom and dad of a child that has terminal cancer? I have said this before, and I will continue to say it again, but I really feel that you have a gift to give other parents, and through some of your contacts, like Ann Chapman and Dr. Frager, I think you will realize that you are being called to new directions some day. No parents wants to counsel other grieving parents, but your faith in your son and the hope that you have expressed in keeping his memory alive through his website, are indicators for me that you are going to be sought out for help from time to time and I certainly hope that you are open to such tasks. Not everybody is able to do this, but I think with Mitchell's wisdom and continuing love that you will be open to such things in the future. But always, remember, Mitchell loved you with a passion and zest that I never noticed in a child this young. He certainly had a zest for teasing you and making you mad. Remember he came by it honestly, Remember the cup! Well, he did certainly push your buttons too. But always with love and pride. He still loves you!
Thursday, March 4, 2004 10:26 AM CST Thank you Annie pooh !!!
the picture above arrived in my mail this morning with a beautiful card from annie pooh. I was on my way out to pay some bills but i had to open this first it had IWK on it,after opening it i laughed and cried both remembering that wonderful day and just seeing a fresh picture that i didnt have of mitch.
Ann is the one that does all the appointments well head of brain tumor clinic.To mitch , arch and i she is the greatest !! mitch and ann shared the same birthdates and they have a special bond even though hes not here im sure hes still got some pull when it comes to anns hissy fits, which mitch just loved !! mitch would elbow dad then say""" oooo dad shes mad now annie pooh is going to take a hissy fit"" of course mitch told everyone about that.
HI mitchell hunny well isnt that just so nice. annie pooh doing that!! well mitch i almost peed my pants laughing last night. we left the cementry after checking up on your things and i asked daddy to roll up the window i was cold , daddy said no cause he was too warm as soon as he said that a car drove by and soaked daddy !! i just turned my head and said my boy was telling you to close the window. we both laughed over that. well sunshine the same as yesterday tommorw and the next day i miss you alot i miss you even more and love you forever!!
love always mom
xoxox
Wednesday, February 25, 2004 9:51 AM CST Now picture this !!last thursday we had a blizzard here in the maritimes, 95 cm of snow fell in 24 hours and with the winds there were drifts 6 ft tall and higher.
As most of you know archie and i go up to the cementry every sunday, so we had alot of shovelling to do. there was one drift way over ours heads so we decided to dig a tunnel. once you got threw this tunnel you right at mitchs site. so if you drive by the cementry you this this huge snow drift and a big hole in it.
well after we were done we stayed checked everything over talked to mitch for a bit then headed down our path again. when you get to the tunnel you have to squat on you feet and slide down. i have been up there twice so far this week and guess what... squating dont work down on my butt and off i went. archie and said to me you know mitch is up there laughing his head off. cause here i am barreling down this hill in a tunnel on my butt and archie is standing right in my way !!!
Hi Mitchell , so i know you had a grand of laugh, your momma sliding down a hill then barreling over daddy and you know what all i could do was laugh cause i knew thats exactly what you were doing!! you were probably laughing so hard nudging all you friends up there saying look at my mom, hey if it makes you smile i smile sunshine. ok now sunshine i have a big favor to ask can you go ask the one in charge of the weather to give us some sunshine!!! and give us a rainbow ,like the on on saturday right after the storm. love ya mitchell to the moon
love always mom
xoxoxox
Thursday, February 19, 2004 8:33 AM CST Could we ever forget your sparkling eyes
or the way you brightened each day,
or your smile which is etched in our memories,
so you're never far away?
Could we ever forget those priceless moments?
The answer, of course, is never.
For you were part of our lives for 12 years ,
but you'll be part of our hearts forever.
"how do i love you ? let see i love you like a lyric loves a melody" then i would get the normal shut up mom !!! i remember singing this song to mitch on the way to radition and every time archie and i would sing it he was blue mad in the face. i sure he loved us singing to him but enimen would be turned off heaven forbit we would shut off enimen ...it reminds me of the time mitch took his cd player to the hospital and he would be playing his rap music, mitch would laugh to get a charge out of anns reaction her quote ""oo my nerves"" she was even shocked to hear mitch playing garth brooks.i think mitch just loved bopping his head to enimen and he couldnt do that to garth, all he got was his momma singing ...smart kid to shut it off i guess.
until later...
LOVE YOU MITCH !!!
Saturday, February 14, 2004 3:02 PM CST happy valentines day sweetie !!! mitchell hunny your just full of it arent you !! after my interview about you all of a sudden your wrestler on the shelf started talking ....now whats up with that?? poor tony you scared him right out of the house of course i was laughing my head off. thankyou mitch i needed that little sign knowing you were here for me , of course i know you will be. well the big day is tommorw... YOUR BIRTHDAY!! i got all your ballons race cars and checkers!! all ready for tommorw and yes love hearts too !! love ya baby !!remember when you used to say to me " leave me baby mitchell needs sleepy" god that was so cute
MITCHELL HUNNY...HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!!!! its now 12:27 so now its offical its your birthday baby.im crying already buddy but i have been all day.i know you dont like to see me cry but baby i miss you so so much ,i know your birthday is going to be great today , first birthday in heaven i bet the got such big big plans for you sweetie. make sure you catch those balloons i sent up to you tommorw ok my sweetie. dont forget to send me down a kiss tommorw even though you will be busy with everyone in heaven just dont forget mamma needs a kiss ok. love ya sunshine to the moon xoxoxox happy birthday !!!!!
Friday, February 6, 2004 11:40 AM CST I added new pictures on mitch picture page the one on the caring bridge. I have something special going on right now !! special for me to help people understand the importance of mitch cadd pump he used. next week there is going to be a radiothon on C100 and CJCH. I have been asked to speak about mitch and his experience with his cadd pump(i wont mention what mitch called it !!) It`s such an honour, especially where his birhtday is right around the corner, his first birthday in heaven. i will be speaking on the radio friday (13th) morning at 8 am, but it is airing thursday, friday and saturday.
I will be talking about what mitch was like and what he liked. i will be expressing the importance of this cadd pump. Honestly most of the time we forgot about it because it did control his pain very well, there was even a month we planned on unhooking him because he was feeling great. of course mitch tried his plans like tossing it in the toliet a couple of times but he got fooled because it still worked!!
mitch still did everything with this cadd pump that he did before, on his 4 wheeler,out shopping ( my little shop-a-holic), dining out and most of all the pranks didn`t stop!! mitch just tucked the cadd pump under his chin and of he would go.
mitchell.. i was lost on what to do for your birthday but what im doing for the IWK is perfect, you love helping people. remember the time the red cross showed up and you wanted to meet them so they came up to the livingroom to say hello, then you asked me to get your wallet? you gave them some money i still have that reciept. on your birthday i think we are going to the pondersa your favorite place to eat!! our last meal together was there and we had a blast didnt we, poor nanny got her exercise that night running for rice !!
love you buddy to the moon
xoxoxo
love mom
Monday, January 26, 2004 8:20 PM CST I guess alot are wondering ...Flames ???? mitch loved flames. they were everywhere !! his bike, PS2,his clothes, books ,bedroom walls there stickers everywhere. the picture on the side border is a car decal we had gotten made up in memory of mitch, and i drive it proudly.there is one shirt mitch wore all summer actually the picture of him with scooby he has on the shirt. mitch loved checking out the cars with decals all over them he thought the were cool... he said the cars were missing something , a hot babe ... god love him.
well over the holidays i did get some news that i was so pleased with.head of pallitive care(Gerri) is writting a chapter book with an other doctor and she asked permission if she could write about mitch and put his picture in it. most of his heatlh care providers were amazed at the way he handled things. mitch would have a sezure while i was down stairs getting laundry and when i would come back up he would say " mom i just had a sezure" he would be at the pc sitting there singing along to eminem.mitch was a pc hog i wonder where he ever got that,lol.
well mitch i finally made you some cool flames for your website but you know me,, god knows how long there going to stay there!! i drove by the school the other day and all i could picture was you standing on the stairs chewing your nails. well buddy love ya bunchs and miss you a whole macca bunch love ya xoxox mom
Wednesday, January 21, 2004 6:26 AM CST today marks 2 years that mitch was diagnosed with his brain tumor.two years ago today we were at our local hospital for the 10 time arguing with the doctors telling them that this was not no damn flu!!!
finally mitch`s ped doctor sends him for a ctscan,and i got the worst news of my life , my only child , my life , my sunshine was being rushed to emergency brain surgery at the IWK in halifax.it had to be removed right away beacause it was bleeding and causing mitch so much problems. those big beautiful blue eyes looked up at me and said am i going to die..my first thing out of my mouth was no way the doctors won`t let that happen. ok im getting upset i`ll come back and write the rest of this journal later.
sorry for the pause i just had to gather my thoughts.i have done alot of thinking today. my first thought was where did 2 years go? then it flew by so fast because we were enjoying our lives. in them 2 years archie mitchell and i did so much and it really was nonstop. disneyworld,motorcross 2 differnt times, beaches, camping,meeting trailer park boys, meeting a wrestler (kurrgan),peggys cove and the list goes on.with all the fun times we had together we had some bad ones too, 3 surgeries, radition (but mitch didnt seem to fuss over that at all),chemo then later on in the year the news of mitch being terminal,,,and those sezures.now almost 9 months since mitch has been gone and im so lost.for all his life i have done everything for mitch not myself, i think every parent does that even if your child is sick or not.
my second thought of the day was how id i get this far already? mitch has been gone almost 9 months and in all honesty i didnt think i would make it a day.some days hurt so much. mitch`s website has helped me so much in dealing with mitchs death..im a little shocked that i just wrote that i always say away or passed away. some days i pour my heart out or in words or just do the borders or pics.
the support from the family and friends are a god sent. my coworkers are my friends and not just coworkers they have been great and ill be forever greatful to them. my family some days im really quiet but they do know how much i love them and how much i do need them.
i think my main strength has been mitchell. i look at everything that he went threw and just know hes with me always. mitchell and my bond can never be broken. i may not be able to touch him, feel him , kiss him but i know he can hear me. my heart tells me this.he loves me !! and i love him
mitchell i love you so much and i know you can feel it in your heart too. miss you much love mom xox
Friday, January 16, 2004 9:36 AM CST mitchell its daddys birthday today !!! send him a little something to get him threw this day hunny. i remember last year you made a model of a bmw and gave it to him he loved it. its still sets beside our bed. i love you mitchell daddy loves you too!!! send him some kind of special birthday wish ok. love ya sunshine to the moon. xoxoxox love ya mom
thank you to everyone that come in sharing them wonderful memories of mitch.it really helped alot. mitchell touched alot of lives and he will keep touches many many lives. thank you once again
Tuesday, January 6, 2004 9:19 PM CST i usually never ask for anything in here i just want people to know how wonderful of a son mitch is. the one thing im going to ask is when you come in here if you could please write something about mitch, a moment in time that you remember funny, sad silly it don`t matter. i just miss him so much and would love to hear from someone a story and for you to share it with other people coming to mitchs site that never got to know him.
i have so many that i want to share but i will go with this one. after mitch had his tumor removed he went from icu then to a normal floor. mitch had his eyes on one nurse he just thought she was the bomb. archie, mitch and i were watching a movie and the nurse come in (amanda) mitch flirted a little then off she went, she almost got out of the room and good ole mitch he nudges archie and says"" dad... she got no ring on her finger"". well i just about fell of his bed. amanda looks at mitch and says mitch your a little young for me!!! and heads out the door. I come to the conclusion that my son was a hound... god love him
mitchell hunny i having a rough day today sweetie i just miss you so much so im needing people to talk about you instead of me talking and people listening. i love you sunshine to the moon. love always mom xoxox
IT'S THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS
Often in times of trouble
we don't know what to say,
So we choose to say nothing,
and sometimes run away.
When friends are really hurting,
we don't know what to do,
So we offer weak excuses
or say we're hurting too.
It really doesn't matter
what kind of gift we bring;
We only need to be there
if we don't bring a thing.
It truly is amazing
what a hug can do,
When heartache numbs the senses,
and friends depend on you.
There's comfort just in knowing
that you are not alone,
When tears are overflowing,
and hearts are cold as stone.
It's the loving prayers of others
that balance our accounts,
For when we measure love,
it's still the thought that counts.
By~ Clay Harrison
Wednesday, December 31, 2003 1:35 PM CST First I would like to wish everyone a healthy and happy 2004. may we all find peace and hope in 2004.
A brand new year is almost here. 2003 has taught me so many things. i wish mitch was here to share 2004 with us but he is here in my heart and spirit. mitchell has taught me the most in all my years of life, unconditional love, laughter , hope.mitchell has taught me the most imporant and rewarding job doesnt come from a paycheck, its being a mom, please go hug your kids.i long to do that every single night, i was blessed to have such a wonderful son who loved me unconditionally threw good times and bad. mitchell has taught me in the most darkest times of our life together that to enjoy life you dont know how long you have. it comes to my mind when mitchell come right out of the blue and said to me""mom, i could die tonight"" what can a parent say to that without crushing his hopes dreams and faith. i didnt wanna lie to him so i come out with ""yes mitchell you could but, i doubt it ,,then followed with but i could die tommorw". mitchell excepted that.
mitchell and i are so much alike its scary. mitch and i loved each other so much but we were 2 mins company. we always nagged , argued but most important we loved each other we valued each hug ,kiss kind words. mitch was always the type to come out with incouraging words. ask anyone that knew this child. mitch had my streak though he told you what he thought, felt and if he was mad he told you.
mitchell its been a long 8 months. daddy and i sent you up some ballons yesterday, kevin and ashely did too. tonite we are lighting some fireworks off just for you.daddy bought me a locket and im putting a picture of you giving me a kiss in it, i love that picture .nannys birthday is coming up on jan 2 i think a great big kiss from you would help her on her special day.sending you big hug and kisses from your mom thats loves you so so so much sunshine, love you sweetie to the moon xoxox mom
Saturday, December 27, 2003 3:05 PM CST i truly have to say i`m so glad this holiday is over. this has been one of the most trying times of my life. i miss mitch everyday but christmas eve was so emotional.i spend my christmas eve at his resting place. arch and i put up battery operated lights in his tree the rest of his decorations and played his favorite christmas music. i found mitchs cd that he burnt last year for christmas and let me tell you mitch got me in a better mood. there were all his favorite christmas songs on it. we got to song 7 and i laughed so hard i almost wet myself.it was a jeff foxworthy song..i wont put the name of the song in here but i will tell you it if you email me ...you will laugh so hard.
christmas day we went back up to mitchs resting place to release some ballons but as you all know im in the maritimes and the helium didnt last so they were tied to his candycanes.then off to auntie claras for christmas dinner.
Mitchell .. you must have planned for me to find that cd huh... i cant belive that song im still laughing over it and guess what im going to play it every christmas. my blue rose is beautiful buddy and gues what i got daddy to do, he sprayed it with varnish just like the dozen roses you gave me and it turned out beautiful just like you.me and daddy miss you so much and you are my hero. love you buddy to the moon... love always mom xoxox
Friday, December 19, 2003 10:33 PM CST as you can tell from above I have been doing little things with mitchs pics and enjoying it !!
what a day today such a trying day..let me start off by starting from the first about a week before mitch passed away we were in sobeys mitch picked up some beautiful blue roses and said to me "mom im buying you these for mom`s day" mitch passed away before mothers day and i didnt get my blue roses. everytime i went into sobeys after that there were never any blue roses. needless to say today i cried my way threw most of the day and after settling down i went out to sobeys for pop and guess what !!! there was one single blue rose there. i picked it up cried my way to the checkout. i told the cashier it was my allergies. after buying that rose i came home and decorated my tree arch put in the living room that has been standing there bare since monday.lisa.. the fries look yummy !!! thanks gf you knew mitch very well. and thank you to rosie for the beautiful poem you sent me.
mitchell did you have anything to do with that rose ??? im sure you did. i put it under the tree in my vase. its from my angel above...you. i love you so much and missed so much.
I see the countless Christmas trees
around the world below,
With tiny lights... like heaven's stars,
reflecting on the snow.
The sight is so spectacular,
please wipe away that tear,
For I am spending Christmas
with Jesus Christ this year.
I hear the many Christmas songs
that people hold so dear,
But the sounds of music can't compare
with the Christmas choir up here.
I have no words to tell you
the joy their voices bring...
For it is beyond description,
to hear the angels sing.
I know how much you miss me.
I see the pain inside of your heart...
But I am not so far away,
we really aren't apart.
So be happy for me dear ones.
You know how I hold you dear...
And be glad I am spending Christmas
with Jesus Christ this year.
I send you each a special gift,
from my heavenly home above.
I send you each a memory
of my undying love.
After all "LOVE" is the gift
more precious than pure gold.
It was always most important
in stories Jesus told.
Please love and keep each other near,
as my Father said to do,
For I can't count the blessings
or love He has for each of you.
So, have a Merry Christmas
and wipe away that tear.
Remember, I am spending Christmas
with Jesus Christ this year
MERRY CHRISTMAS MITCHELL...LOVE YOU ALWAYS MOM AND DAD
Sunday, December 7, 2003 3:00 PM CST well lets start this off by saying we got snow !!! nothing new about that we live in the maritimes.
we got our tree up and i love it. we put a tree up with mitch at his site.when we went to moncton last month i gathered some acorns from the memorial place and i painted them mitchs favorites colors. to top it off we even made a snowman ...well snow frog.
well mitch i had this overwhelming feeling to shove dad in the snow instead i threw a snow ball at him but he must have been to cold to feel it. im sure you got quite the laugh when i feel up the hill ...yes up !! then down i gave it up and crawled up the hill. theres was no way i was going to fall again!! well buddy i really hope you like the tree and i know you well enough you love it.even kawasaki green acorns cool huh.!! a special tree just for you because daddy and i love you so much and miss you so much so this is our way of spending christmas with you sunshine !!
december 15,2003
every day arch and i have been putting pictures of mitch up to his tree. we print them off laminate them then use them for ordaments.
im now really starting to struggle with work i finding myself so emotional angry one minute, crying the next.i just miss mitch so much somedays i feel it is unbearable.
hi mitch sweeite.. i bet christmas is going to be just beautiful up in heaven !! How i wish you were here with me instead. we watched some of our videos of you last christmas and i laughed cried but felt better watching them. i watched the one where you didnt know the camera was running and you were dancing and bopping your head to your singing homer simpson !! i loved it. i love you sunshine to the moon
love mom xoxox
Sunday, November 30, 2003 6:11 PM CST mitchell.. 7 months ago you passed threw them pearly gates so i assume you got to see eric and great grampy. do me a favor buddy. give them both a big hug from me. tell them i love them too ok.
it feels like it has been forever since you teased me ok ok ok and i teased you. dad and i miss you like crazy some days mitch i have no clue whats going on and dad is trying to find a clue !! we make a great team huh
were going to put up a christmas tree up at your site ..... a real one !!!! we could never have a real one you were allergic to them. as far as putting up a christmas tree here i dont know yet, if we do it will be in hounor of you. i wont have you to help me with the tree so i know it will be hard for me to do. i know in my heart you want me and daddy to put up the tree. mitchell i love you and will miss you forever and ever.
love you always
mom xox
Tuesday, November 18, 2003 1:02 PM CST " The power of love"
I was blessed with a wonderful son,mitchell was and still is my heart, my soul,
my friend and now guiding me threw life.
mitchell has shown me the true meaning of uncondtional love,compassion, laughter,
strength.
mitchell had one goal in mind when he took sick , to get better but also wanting a baby brother.
when mitch was asked want he would like for his wish, he asked for a baby brother.
needless to say we talked him into disneyworld and i am forever greatful for those memories.
mitchell still wanted that baby brother and still kept asking.i explained to mitchell that i only wanted him
and when he was little i had a operation so i couldnt have any more babies. so finally the subject was dropped ,
but it broke my heart knowing it was something that he truly wanted.
about a week before mitchell passed away he again asked for a baby brother ,finally sitting down and asking him why it was so important to him he told us. his exact words were " i want a baby brother so that when i go to heaven you and daddy wont be alone". mitchell opened my eyes to alot of things that day he wasnt thinking of himself he was thinking of us . thats uncondtional love.
arch and i are now in the process of getting this done. part of me is glad i had that surgery it gives me my healing time.
that in fact i wanted to make sure i was having another child for all the right reasons not just because mitchell wanted it.
mitchell has been gone for a little over 6 months and i miss him so much.mitchell was my only child. he was my life.i miss his unconditional love,hugs kisses and most of all being a mom.dont get me wrong,i will always be a mom just not the way i long to be. after alot of soul searching i want to have another child more than ever. i miss everything about being a parent.
mitchell.. this journal sums it up, i love you a whole macca bunch. you remember when you were little i would say to you how much you love me and you would say "10 bucks" i guess 10$ was alot when you were 3 huh. i love you to the moon.daddy is going to hang me for this pic you remeber when daddy was running your bath water, daddy bent over... wedgie time love mom xox
November 25/2003
THE HOUSE IS OURS !!! i am so happy about this. we were renting this house and now the papers are at the lawyers getting the deed signed over to us. i am so happy and relieved and the same time.mitch`s paintball marks in the basement his chalk drawings, even his pictures he drew and tacked to the wall never ever have to be moved !! most of all the fear is now gone that i dont have to move out of the house that mitchell took his last breath in. his room is such a comfort to me. i have moved the pc now in his playroom. ilove being in here it is such a comfort to me.although i got half naked chicks on the wall ...lol he put there. poor trish stratus would think mitch was a stalker lol he loved that wrestling chick.
on another good note i contacted a few people about helping arch and i with the cost of the tube reversal. and we have a meeting on dec 4 with some hospital staff its sounds very positive. ill let you know when i find out anything.
mitchell i know you must have something to do with all that has be going on.it feels like your giving me and daddy our christmas presents.i love you buddy and miss you so so so much. mom xoxox
Tuesday, November 11, 2003 10:11 AM CST "We remember mitchell"
A school picture i found in mitch`s school stuff to remember all the people that fought for our freedom. when mitch`s school stuff was given to me after mitch passed away this picture was in it. it was titled we remember but mitchell wrote his name right beside it.
mitchell hunny will will never ever forget you, theres not a day i won`t forget you.everything reminds me of you.. a funny commercial, a song everything sweetie. i love you just as much as i ever and so proud of you. mitch i thought alot of lantz yesterday. he has been up in heaven a year yesterday. i know you 2 are the best of buddies up there. ilove you buddy xoxox mom
Tuesday, November 4, 2003 12:26 AM CST hey hey there grashopper ! well mitch i found the grasshoppers and needed to add them. along with you on the bike. remember me always bellowing slow down there grasshopper?!even patience there young grasshopper.do you realize how many times i had to tell you to slowwww down i havent enough fingers and toes.i remember how cocky you were coming home one day after a long bike drive bragging that you were driving in 4th gear!!! you wouldnt of been if i was there but im glad now you did.
i spent the day at nanny and grampys yesterday and i needed a get away even though it was only a day. we went up to moncton to see the monument with your name on it and took pictures of the statues there. it was great til on the way home our exhaust falling off !!! mitch you would of freaked, my head was pounding. but needless to say i had a good sleep last night the first good sleep in a long time. mitch you must of given me a extra big KISS before i fell alseep. love ya buddy to the moon.
Wednesday, October 29, 2003 11:03 PM CST sorry my heart is not dealing with the holidays... its dealing with mitch not be here. 6 months today, 6 months since i last heard him say i love you, kiss me hug me and yes even argue with me.
mitch im lost for words tonight its now 2:07 am , 6 months and 1 minute since you left. i can`t sleep buddy.i think about all our good times but end up thinking of all the times im going to miss.
I MISS YOU SO MUCH MITCHELL
I'm the ray of light when the sun starts to shine
And you'll see that that face in the moon is mine.
When you start thinking there's no one to love you,
You can talk to me through the Lord above you.
I'll whisper my words through the leaves on the trees,
And you'll feel my presence in the soft summer breeze.
I'm the hot salty tears that flow when you weep
And the beautiful dreams that come when you sleep.
To all of you I hold so dear
Weep no more, I'll always be here.
For all the cherished memories we share
Just look for me, I'm everywhere
Thursday, October 23, 2003 11:57 AM CDT Halloween is not far away and here i am... decorating for halloween.
last year mitch took is radition mask and and decided to be freddy ... jason, I dunno one of them. mitch had 2 radition masks the first one got messed up, when halloween rolled around both archie and mitch were dressed up ready for fun.
i think im just going to disappear for halloween this year im not ready for holidays yet.. i never will be.
i remember one halloween that sticks in my head and archies and i laugh all the time over it. mitch was about 4 and we were out getting treats. mitch went to one door and the man handed him a reese cup(peanutbutter) of course mitch being mitch said " hey mister, do have anything else i eat that i will die" he was deathly allergic to peanuts. the man was shocked mitch even put down his treat bag and showed him his epipen...too funny a 4 year old having a grand conversation.needless to say mitch got money. mitch spoke his mind. i wonder where he got that at :)
Mitchell... i started back to work it has been so hard.i come home from work and i hate not being greeted with a smile and a hug. even on my first break i walked up the stairs saying i gotta call mitch. i miss you so much mitchell...we will be together some day. you are the first person i will go find, im sure you won`t be hard to find you will be right there to greet me.hope you don`t mind the baby pic buddy but you were so cute in that picture ... cheeesy face and all.
love mom xox
![](http://groups.msn.com/_Secure/0SQD**zIXoHUiwvM*e2etBK!dRXm17pPt*wkrfEP8NLUNbzK8fgvMa4W3T4Sc1TtQ5pxeTmfUUhxzrTy6sTzOUpgqel2gbUtQkz5fR64k601rayuC7*mZVA/halloweeen.jpg")
Saturday, October 18, 2003 12:19 AM CDT I DID IT!!
with the support of my friends, mitchell`s friends(mine too) and family i made though a very emotional day.
the wish maker parade was today. i drove mitch`s car in the parade and all the friends and family walk along the car with pictures of mitch. Some of us dressed up in halloween costumes... not me.
our team raised 1200$ which im so proud of. this will be something that we do every year in memory of mitch.Its such a great cause. the wish foundation gave us a week of memories in disneyworld that will never be forgotten.A wish that will give an other child a life time of memories.
Mitchell.... i could`nt of gotten though it with out you. at one point i was going to go home but i kept thinking how proud you are of me that i did this for you.i love you mitchell to the moon.
Sunday, October 12, 2003 11:19 AM CDT I have come to stepping stone i think in this journey of grief.i spoke with jeanette "angel jalens mommmy" asking her why i found it so hard to put angel infront of mitch`s name... i thought i might of been not accepting that fact that mitch was gone.she was a great help with a heartfelt email she sent me.I thankyou jeanette from the bottom of my heart
I email kim (kody`s mom)back and forth alot and at the bottom of her letter she wrote..." forever missing angel mitch" and it was the most warming feeling.I am forever missing angel mitch. so i think that my stepping stone.kim was the one that made me realize how beautiful that looked.thank you kim so much for writting that in your email it helped so much.
Mitchell tommorw is thankgiving and i sat back last night and screamed what do i give thanks for ...you`re not here.after a long sleepless night i do have lots to be thankful for.
i thankyou for being my son,my heart. i thankyou for loving me unconditionally,for all my precious memories we have together.thankyou for telling me everything is ok.."its ok mom im ok" remember that.. i never will forget.thankyou for just being you.you have shown me how to grab a day, run with it like it was our last.You will always be there for me to guide me though these rough times. i love you so much mitchell just sometimes its very painful to except that now you have to guide me,not me guiding you.our bond will never be broken.
FOREVER LOVING ANGEL MITCH
Thursday, October 9, 2003 11:46 AM CDT today i went to mitchell`s elementry school. they were holding a hotdog lunch and all proceeds are going to the wish foundation in memory of mitchell.It was a little emotional when i was first there but seeing mitch`s friends really helped.I would like to thank michelle for organizing it.to the people that donated the hotdogs,pop and icecream.chesley, wayne,tim,katilyn,charlsie,morgan,kelsey and stephie were all class mates of mitchell. they were all there to hand out the hotdogs.least of all i can`t forget all the kids remaining at the school that brought in there 2 dollars.
by the end of the hour wayne had me laughing while the paper was trying to take pics. thank you to the school and everyone that shared this event today.
mitchell i had a hot dog for you buddy... and i wore your trailer park boy hat. and yes mitch i looked like a goof.i love ya buddy to the moon xoxo
Friday, October 3, 2003 3:18 PM CDT i have added new photos ...well new to me. i had the camcorder out again and got some pics.
one picture is of mitchell`s stone its a college.
second one is of our car. archie put stickers all over it in memory of mitch. i love driving in it ...except for the big title on the front window( trailer park boy) lol. mitch was a huge fan of the trailer park boys (show)the pic below he is wearing his hat from the boys
the third on is of mitch and archie clowning around in the kitchen. mitchell got hooked on elvis for a while but we couldnt catch him on the camcorder doing the leg thingy. Of course mitchell thought dad was being a dumbass. honestly that was mitchell favorite saying.
I LOVE YOU MITCHELL...XOX
Tuesday, September 30, 2003 11:25 AM CDT It has been 5 months today since mitchell left us. i have had some real rough days. i gained some real supportive friends but lost some too.the ones that are still holding me up during this have been the greatest.my mom and dad god love them they have been the best.and my sister and her husband are so close now. my sister (cheryl) and i have a bond that will never be broken.crusty as mitch called her.my dad and mitch had this bond that was so real they teased each other on a regular basis.but mitch would hug him and tell him he loved him the second he walked in the door.
on april 28th was the last day mitch was awake before he passed away the next day and what a ball we had all day.remembering that day he never even had a nap.he was so full of life that day. supper time rolled around and nanny & grampy took us out for supper. mitch`s favorite place ponderosa. we ate,laughed,teased,we were really noisy there that day. mitc heven bellowing he needed more rice for the 6th time. poor nanny i dont think she got to enjoy her meal she was busy running for mitch, but ithink she enjoyed every second. he would slam his fist on the table and bellowed get me some more rice. it sounded like he had no manners but it was the opposite every one laughed so hard we were sheding tears.
not knowing this would be our last meal together. and i would`nt change a thing.the picture is of mitch at ponderosa. my last pictures of mitch.
MITCHELL... the hurricane hit us but we were untouched. you were looking out for us weren`t ya. we were out side in the middle of the storm and mitch we looked up in the sky and right above our house was a clearing. with so many stars. it was the most amazing thing i had ever seen. the stars were so bright.i love ya buddy.. your missed so much XOXOXOX 
Sunday, September 28, 2003 2:44 PM CDT I have to tell you one of mitch`s story
on new years eve mitch arch and i spent the night the night at home searching for bubbles( trailer park boys) email address. everyone we found ... we emailed them asking them if they could come meet mitch. mitch was a huge fan of the show.
on jan 4/03 mitch had he first and only bad sezure.he had lots of focal sezure but this one was the scariest one ever. any how... we spent the night in the hospital after them asking us to sign a DNR....needless to say they felt the rath of this women that night. and happy go lucky mitch checked out of the hospital the next day back to himself.
we got home and after settling in i checked my email and long behold was an email from bubbles wanting to come to our house !!!! mitch was on cloud nine.
on jan 8th bubbles with 2 of the guys from the show ricky and julian pulled into our driveway. greeting mitch with hats, a shirt and signed pics.what an afternoon we had. they were so funny and a bunch of great guys. they sat back playing ps2 with mitc hand mitch had a ball. even elbowing ricky and calling him a dumbass !!
it was in the paper the next day with a pic of mitch and the boys. mitch would be then reconized everywhere he went. he said" mom ... them girls are following me around the store" he loved it. i sad yep mitch your a celebrity. 
Thursday, September 25, 2003 9:57 AM CDT You were a blessing to us all
you were a special child.
And we're so glad God sent you
to be with us awhile.
You filled our home with happiness
and made our life complete.
The time we had with you
was far too short, but oh so sweet.
Some things we don't find easy
to accept or understand.
Until we realize they're part of
our Creator's perfect plan.
Now it comforts us to know
you're with the angels up above.
While in our hearts we hold you close
Surrounded by our love.
I LOVE YOU MITCHELL XOX MOM
Friday, September 19, 2003 2:34 PM CDT hi everyone !!
well i got a picture dropped off today to my house. it was a drawing of mitch driving his bike threw the woods.it was even nicer to know that mitch`s teachers aid was thinking about him today.it `s actually a great feeling knowing someone was thinking of mitch.
The wish foundation parade is coming up and in honour of mitch i will be gathering up pledges and walking in the parade.The wish foundation gave us a week of great memories that i will forever cherish.the wish foundation even going a step further and letting mitch take one of his friends with us.
mitchell buddy i got such a bad cold..i wish you could come kiss me better. i love you lots, love mom xox
sept. 23
theres just a picture i wanted to share of mitch. i laugh everytime i look at it. mitch and the fishes lips look the same.twins ...lol.
hi mitch im not making fun of you buddy i just wanted to show everyone how much of a cutie you were even with fishy hands. i love you buddy too the moon 
Monday, September 15, 2003 9:28 PM CDT I was watching mitch`s video tapes and smile,laugh just to hear his voice, but cry to feel his loving touch. i remember the day mitch`s tumor had returned it was the 2nd most scariest day(nov 14/02) in my life knowing we had to fight this battle all over again. then finding out there was 2 tumors. that day began with mitch crawling out of bed and nothing out of the ordinary. mitch got a bath then all of a sudden hes screaming i can still here that scream in my head. mitch was having a focal seizure(his left arm) , finding out later what that was. we rushed to halifax which is a hour away (of course mitch needed his chick books and wwe magizines) ct scans then mri.wierd enough mitch had his brain tumor clinic on oct 30/02 and walked out of there with stable scans.in 2 weeks our world was turned up side down.its amazing how mitch took this news thats why i always say i wish i had the courage and strength he had.
mitchell im so proud of you. i dont ever want you to think i gave up for a second.it was and is the hardest thing i will ever have to do is letting you go. you know you will be forever my little boy, my only lil joe.
remember that book i always read to you nanny gave you.
I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I`LL LIKE YOU ALWAYS
AS LONG AS I`M LIVING
MY BABY YOU`LL BE
A girlfriend(lisa) emailed me tonight saying how she loved mitchs site and was surprised there was no pics of frenchfries..lol, i got a smile out of that one.annie poo even mentioned all mitch would eat would be rice or frenchfries when he was at the hospital.
  mitch i hope theres fries and rice in heaven.
Wednesday, September 10, 2003 7:32 PM CDT well today i did it... i finally went up to mitch`s floor.emotional but when i seen irene and ann(annie poo mitch called her) it felt so good. arch and i were both greeted with a huge hug.we talked about mitch and how things were going.we all got a great laugh out of some of those precious memories we shared. ann`s hissy fits mitch loved to tell everyone, dr yhap (mitch`s onc) calling mitch whoopass, even mitch checking out the nurses fingers to see if they were married.
before going on the floor we stopped to see jerry, mitch`s pallitive care doctor.. she is head of pallitive care, and great at her job
every single person that looked after mitchell were great.there all special and are great at there job.
Mitch i know i could`nt have gotten threw the day without you.i was driving home the other day buddy ... did you put that grasshopper in my car?? i love you buddy to the moon and back.
 
mitch`s first 4 wheeler ... i thought he was so cute .. he thought he was a cool dude. actually thats where he got his nic name "cooljoe"
Thursday, September 4, 2003 9:16 PM CDT for the last couple of days i have`nt done a thing.yesterday i stayed in my pj`s all day. i found yesterday was really hard. mitchell was looking forward to going to jr high...so i avoided going out. i know i should of went out and stopped trying to avoid these things but i found comfort being at home yesterday watching videos of mitch.I know mitch well enough he would be telling me to get out of the house.he always had a positive attitude.
truly thats what gets me threw the day.If he could have such a postive outlook i should really try.I feel like im still stuck in the whats if`s .... they haunt me.
MEMORY OF THE DAY
ever since mitch was little when you would tell him thumbs up mitch he would pop up his 2 big toes straight in the air funny huh....i gotta a pic
sept.7 2003
i just added some pictures of mitch`s stone. and his etching of his grade 6 picture.
Monday, September 1, 2003 11:24 AM CDT mitch`s dog had 8 puppies last night....there so cute i wanna keep all of them.
i keep forgeting to take my camera to mitchs site to show you mitchs stone.its very nicely done. im some glad i had his grade 6 pic etched on it.
school starts here in nova scotia on wed. mitch would of started junior high this year, my little man was so looking forward to it.
well mitchell life is some boring here buddy,no wedgies,pinging,teasing.you`re ps 2 has dust on it,last time you played that you whooped my butt playing smackdown shut your mouth. i miss my hugs and kisses but im sure im getting them still. i love you mitch and so proud of you.heres a kiss for ya sweetie
sept 2/03
i had to share a memory of mitch today..arch was in shaving and i remember how he always teased arch. with the decadron mitch had facial hair. mitch had a dark mustache and arch`s is light.of course mitch being mitch he thought everything he had was bigger and better.. mitch even had bigger feet than daddy.this all started on morning when mitch tucked his cadd pump under his chin and a cup of cold water in his hand...and off to see daddy in the bathtub...well i assume you know the rest of the story..brrrrr
mitch was always famous for cold water. he even dumped all over me when i was having a cat nap. all over my bed.
mitch`s other hand didn`t work after his tumors grew back but it stop him at all from playing pranks.
playing PS2 he played with one hand and his chin and he would whooop my butt.everyone was amazed at that talent.anyway i can go on for hours.
thanks to everyone for visiting mitchs site 
Saturday, August 30, 2003 11:56 AM CDT today marks 4 months since mitch went to heaven,and it feels like 4 years.i picture mitch pinging people, playing pranks.mitch with a white robe i doubt it ...probably shorts(he lived in shorts even in the winter) i miss everything about mitch,yes even the nagging times. i have had such a rough couple of weeks.mitchell stone had come in that was hard. i was waiting and waiting for it and now thats it there it makes me realize im not waking up from this horrible dream.archie and i sent 12 ballons up all saying "i love you". the next day mom and dad come up and send some more up,and planted to trees.
i have had so many emotions run through my head.why mitchell.why any child,its just not fair.
mitchell always had health promblems but never as bad as the big "C".mitch was allergic to peanuts carrying an epipen(at 3 he could tell anyone just how to use it).mitch had asthma that seem to calm down by the age of 6.
mitch would always say to me "don`t worry mom i`m ok"..now i say it to mitch everynight"don`t worry mitch i`ll be ok"
mitchell i love you buddy so much
Wednesday, August 20, 2003 2:06 PM CDT i was reading the entries in the guestbook and thankyou all that signed it. gemma`s mom sandra really nailed it. she said i can see you smile everytime you talk about mitch...i do he is the light of my life.i talk about him all the time and think about him 24/7. ,mitch is missed so much somedays are unbearable.mitch`s smile lite up a room..his teasing had a room in stitches, but his tears made everyone cry.the greatest feeling is that uncondition love mitchell gave to me, the warmth of his hugs the smiles after his kisses.god i miss him so much.
i love you mitchell forever and ever
Sunday, August 17, 2003 2:39 PM CDT my pc is toast. im waiting for my new one. god bless my mom she brought me down her old one and belive me its old..lol. windows 95 and slowwwwwwww.not getting in to work on mitchs site and checking on the kids was driving me nuts.now this was a true test. this site is a part of healing for me. being able to come in and talk about mitch and write things about him.
i was up to mitchs today and put some new flowers in there purple ones. i snickered thinking mitch was probably thinking flowers????? and purple at that. i also put some blueberries in a back of a dinkie car up there. he loved blueberries of course up in heaven the blueberries are probably bigger and better.
I LOVE YOU MITCHELL XOXOX
Tuesday, August 12, 2003 11:34 AM CDT Yesterday-Today and Tommorw
all the money in the world cannot bring back YESTERDAY. we cannot undo a single act we performed:we cannot erase a single word we said. yesterday is gone.yesterday has passed forever beyond our control.
TOMMORW`S sun will rise, either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds--but it will rise.tommorw with its possible adversities, its burdens,its large promise or poor performance.we have no stake in tommorw, for it is yet unborn.
this leaves on one day--TODAY-- anyone can fight the battles of just one day.it is only when you add the burdens of those two awful eternities--yesterday and tommorw that we break down.
its not the experience of today that drives us mad-- its the remorse or bitterness of something that happened yesterday and the dread of what tommorw might bring.
Sunday, August 10, 2003 9:24 AM CDT i found yesterday was really hard but not until i stepped into the mall.i was alone arch stayed home(mitch always went with me). realizing i dont have any school shopping to do.mitchell would of have started junior high this year.
i was at mitchells site the other day and they have the gravel layed where mitchell`s stone will be. part of me is a little worried. when i go to see mitch i dont think of him there i just think that is his memory spot. just having his stone there almost makes me except everything.
at mitchell funeral we played one of mitch`s favorite songs kidrocks lonely road of faith. i am on this lonely road of faith. mitchell was so strong in that area hes the one that kept me from going insane.i said to my mom the other day its been 3 months i cant even think of how i got threw this so far. mom said mitchell is getting you threw it.
but if it wasnt for my friends and family i dont know what i would do.i love you guys even though i stay in my shell and dont call much.i have had the pleasure of getting to know some people from caring bridge you guys are great the supportive things you write really help alot ty.I LOVE YOU MITCHELL
Thursday, August 7, 2003 12:34 AM CDT while doing housework today i turned on the stereo..and long behold it was mitchells cd he burnt.i laughed threw most of it.he goes from eminem(8mile) to elvis(teddy bear),kidrock(cocky)to ludicrus(ooh ooh)mitchell`s favorite song...the whole cd was like that.thank you mitchell i`m having a good day because of this cd.I LOVE YOU SUNSHINE
Tuesday, August 5, 2003 8:59 AM CDT it hit me like a ton of bricks yesterday that i will never have a new picture of mitch. i cried then grabbed my camcorder and got the picture above off the tv. i know it sounds pityful but it really helped. part of me remembered all the precious memories i got on tape...thank god. even just hearing his voice is a sigh of happiness.im ok im not out to lunch just clued into alot of things yesterday.I LOVE YOU MITCH
Wednesday, July 30, 2003 9:10 AM CDT ""today marks 3 months since mitchell has passed away.on the other hand i can say its been 3 months that mitch has been cancer free..his hand works his leg works.i cant say its has gotten any easier. it so hard i have been a mom for 12 years and dont get me wrong i still am, but not the way i want to be. if mitch has taught me one thing it has been patience to enjoy the day you have got. im very proud of mitchell.
it just stumps me cancer might of won the battle but mitchell won the war because he is now cancer free.If anything i lost the battle,but mitchell will see me though this ugly war of grief.
I LOVE YOU MITCHELL.......TO THE MOON""
Tuesday, July 29, 2003 1:48 PM CDT ""i would just like to thank everyone that comes in viewing mitchs site. it makes me feel good knowing that mitch is not forgotten and thought about by so many people.theres not a day that will go by that i won`t think of mitch and im sure that will go for some other people that he has touched.""
Saturday, July 26, 2003 10:58 AM CDT "" as you can tell mitch was a wrestling fan.never missed a show. the picture on the front page was taken at MGM studios in flordia.we called it our new family portrait.the side pic is when we took mitch to see wwf in halifax on mothers day 2002.best mothers day ever,we had so much fun.now realizing that was my last mothers day i got to spend with mitch but wouldnt of changed a thing.god i miss mitch so much but just writting memories helps so much.just to share how great of a kid he was.
its kinda funny mitch and his nurse had a plan going that i wasnt aware of until on april 6 the nurse showed up at the house with a gift for me from mitch.mitch gave me the most beautiful mom ring.he put it on my finger and from that day it will never leave my finger.""
Sunday, July 20, 2003 7:50 AM CDT one year from today we were off to flordia.that week was so much fun... from crusing around checking out the cars to animal kingdom.mitchell was such a prankster, we went to daytona beach and mitchell even buried kyle`s chocolate bar in the sand and not finding this out until it was caught on tape...that was so funny.the resort was so nice, i think mitch had more fun in the pool at star island resort that anything,except for the excitement of having a rhino standing in the middle of the road in animal kingdom.
what precious memories we have.
we had so many names for mitch...joe,grasshopper,lil man,goober(when younger)many many more
this is for you lil grasshopper..love you to the moon xxooo
a beautiful quilt was made in memory of mitch link is below
Wednesday, July 16, 2003 7:37 AM CDT good morning,
i feel the need to talk about mitchell today.remembering the way he would bop his head listening to music to asking me every morning"mom did you get your hug today",to putting daddy in the head lock.mitchell had a heart of gold he always made me feel good,if my hair was a mess i was beautiful in his eyes,to making me laugh so hard even when i wanted to just cry all day.one day he was heading to the bathroom, on the way there he bellows "hey dumbass" pulling a full moon when i turn to say what.
last summer we went camping,and we saw santa there,it was christmas in july at campground.of course mitch stops santa and asks if he would like to have a beer.mitch was the life of the party that night after that.santa even came back to our site and gave him a present.
Friday, July 11, 2003 9:29 PM CDT There was a time when all was well
but time stands still for naught
This young lad who taught us all
That love must not be forgot.
Although this lad was young of heart
In a life where there are exceptions.
No matter what nor whom, how long nor far
There are always complications.
Now Mitchell was that young lad’s name
Some might say a true friend
And in his family his goal was fame
An only child who came to an untimely end.
Now when the time for death has come
And those who grieve seek rest
Know, this precious angel that God has claimed,
Has taken his place with the best.
But as slowly as the time moves on
Even tho we think it stands still
We pray and work through our daily chores,
And know that all is well.
A colorful rainbow appears in the sky
Found on paper or a piece of wall
We know that Mitchell is okay
He did not take the fall.
A simple sign, an arc of color
Was his favorite contour
Usually with a heart nearby
And the words ‘I love you’ for sure!
Mitchell, we know, has gone to heaven
With Eric and Great-Grampy as well
We know that some day we shall meet again
When, on earth, we have completed Thy will.
Twas 12 years old, this lad of ours
He left us to mourn and cry
And know that time alone can help us heal
When we again see Mitchell in the sky.
Joyce Fraser(nanny) July 09, 2003
Wednesday, July 9, 2003 1:54 PM CDT its been a while since i actually wrote in here.ive been putting poems and other things.i had to share a memory of mitch.one night mitch was on the topic of heaven just wanting to know whats it like,i told him i have never been there so i would`nt know.mitch often asked if there were motorbikes in heaven and of course biker babes,i said im sure there is....of course he was always a joker.he quickly turned and said to me and said...."god must have a real big fish tank,because you keep killing all my fish" all i could do was laugh.here we were having a serious conversation about heaven but of course mitch had to turn it around so we did`nt stay sad.
Thursday, July 3, 2003 8:50 PM CDT THANK YOU to chris for helping me make mitchs site beautiful
Monday, June 30, 2003 2:22 PM CDT No one sees the broken heart
That lies beneath my smile
No one sees the loneliness
Thats with me all the while
Silent tears gently fall
That others do not see
all i can say is...
mitchell meant the world to me
Tuesday, June 10, 2003 9:21 PM CDT A DAY, A WEEK, A LIFETIME
When I wake up in the morning
I ask myself
How will I get through this day
Without You
As I dress and prepare to start my day
I wonder
How will I go on
Without You
As the day slowly slips away
I remember how you made me laugh
And I smile
Without You
At the end of the day
As I prepare to close my eyes
I know in my HEART
I couldn't have gotten through the day
WITHOUT YOU
Tuesday, June 10, 2003 8:37 PM CDT God saw you getting tired,
And a cure was not to be,
So he put his arms around you, And whispered,”Come with me.”
With tearful eyes we watched you
And saw you pass away.
Although we loved you dearly, We could not make you stay,
A golden heart stopped beating, A free spirit set to rest.
God broke our hearts to prove to us,
He only takes the best.
A million times we’ve needed you ,
A million times we’ve cried,
If love alone could have saved you,
You never would have died.
A heart of gold stopped beating,
Two smiling blue eyes closed to rest,.
God broke our hearts to prove to us,
He only takes the best
Wednesday, June 4, 2003 5:20 PM CDT this was sent to me...my mom did
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to
appreciate
> > them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them
God makes everything but unbreakable hearts.
Thursday, May 29, 2003 11:29 AM CDT it will be a month tommorw since mitch passed away. reality has set in that hes not away some where or visiting nanny and grampy. iv`e had alot of bad days and try to remember that mitch hated it when i was upset. he would say "mom dont worry im ok im still here" that still rings threw my ears everyday. not thinking on the positive side mitch is still here. i might not see him until igo to sleep in my dreams but i know he will always be by my side. If i can get even half the strength that mitch had threw this i know someday i`ll be ok.
well its now a month and im sitting here amazed how wonderful he was he kept my spirts so high.i love you baby
Friday, May 16, 2003 3:53 PM CDT a friend told me this today...he was your shooting star
the thing about shooting stars is though.
they burn brighter then any other stars.
and we are amazed and how brillaint they are going across the sky.
but alas they are only with us for such a short time.
he was your shooting star.
mitchell is my shooting star,my rainbow.
he showed me things only he could..the art of compassion..the skill of courage...and a glimpse of what a angel is like
Thursday, May 15, 2003 6:18 PM CDT i just thought i would share this ...yesterday arch and i woke up to the most pretty rainbow on our wall coming from mitchell`s dinky case.rainbows always remind me of mitch there all over the place on his drawings even on a mothers day card from last year.
its been 17 days since he got his wings but today i found myself talking about him every minute.we were jus t laughing about mitch asking us why we didnt name him joe dirt :O ...of course one of his favorite movies.
theres a pic of mitchells rainbow in photos
Tuesday, May 13, 2003 3:51 PM CDT thoughout mitch`s 15 month battle he had such a positive outlook on life.mitchells tumor was removed on jan 21 2002.he then went though 6 weeks of radition,and still had time to tease the nurses the whole time.mitch then started a chemo (orally) called temadol.he handled that chemo ok he was happy content but his counts were always crashing.that didnt stop us from enjoying our wish trip to disneyworld for a whole week(theres a link on page).
on november 14th mitch had his first focal sezure.rushing him back to IWK we didnt expect to hear what they told us.mitch tumor was back and yet another one.2 tumors just crushed my heart.i remember crying to the doctors and mitch walks in.his words were"my tumor is back,can i see".i was in shock he took the news way better than i would of expected.mitch then waited for his counts to go back up and tried a new chemo.despite the doctors saying the tumors are so aggersive that feared he wouldnt make christmas.on dec 3/2002 mitch started his new chemo called VP16 and tamofen.christmas passed and we were still having a ball.sezures were now under control without a doubt we were hoping that chemo was killing his cancer. mitch had a MRI done on jan 28 and then off to brain tumor clinic on jan 30/2003.we met with the oncoligist and we knew from the look on her face it wasnt good,mitch`s tumors had grown 4 times there size.i looked at mitch and looked and the doctor in amazement thinking wow..he is a fighter.
mitch birthday was here feb 15/03.we had the biggest party for him.classmates friends and family.then continued the party on to the next day with the kids all at the movie theatre.
mitch was still fighting his battle full tilt fooling the nurses.evertime mitch would have a bad day(which wasnt often).they would try to prepare us.Sure enough mitch had different plans.
On march 4th mitch had another bad day.even i questioned that day i thought for sure he was leaving me.hooked up now to a cadd pump for steady morphine.As the doctors called it he "pulled another mitchell" back to happy go lucky mitch.teasing his nurses(his cadd pump in the toliet a few times)..well teasing everyone that walked in.if you came in my house you never left with a frown he wouldnt have it.Mitchell had his fun even though he had a cadd pump(in his pocket,pic on his wheeler photo) he was still driving his 4 wheeler,shopping and out for dinner.besides a limp and getting a little tired,hed grab that wheelchair and off we went.most of march was really good they even considered taking him off the cadd pump.
April was not to bad of a month until the last day when mitch got his wings on wed morning at 2 am(april 30).we had no signs of what was going to happen.
april 28th was not any different to any day.teasing everyone that walked though the door. supper time rolled around and off we went to ponderosa with daddy and I,nanny and grampy.he was feeling good he didnt want the wheelchair or any help.
we headed off to bed at 11:30 with hugs kisses and i love yous.it just another night..just like the rest.mitch woke up at 4:30 sick to his belly,we thought it was from the all you can eat buffet.we cleaned him up and tucked him back in bed ,but he slept with daddy.i was in his bed.but then he woke up again about an hour later.I had decided to call in the nurse i was hoping he was pulling "another mitchell".mitch slept all day.waking up long enough to be sick to his belly.the nurse(elizabeth) got that quickly under control.
mitchell slept though the whole ordeal with not a flicker of pain on his face.he was surrounded by dad and I,nanny and grampy and my sister(cheryl)&nurse(elizabeth) while we watched him take his last breath.painful to us...but peaceful to him.
mitchell lived a short life..but i have learned more from my son than i could of learned in a life time.
i will continue to write things in here that i feel it would help others or just to share precious memories.
Tuesday, May 13, 2003 10:29 AM CDT This page has just been created. Please check back for additional updates.
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