Nicole Anna Levine

June 30, 1998 - October 22, 2004

Journal

Thursday, October 23, 2008 2:39 PM CDT

Well Coley, we are having a hard time believing it has been 4 years since you went to heaven. I miss you so much (and Lamby), it is a heartache that can't be explained to anyone. I see it in Daddy's face everyday and Marissa misses you just the same. This would have been the year you went to Middle School with her. Marissa and I cried the first day when all your friends were waiting at the bus stop for their first day at the Middle School (Stacy, Katie, Erin and of course Taylor-who still visits you).

I am sure you are looking down at your two crazy brothers. Travis talks about all the silling things you two used to do together that Mom and Dad never knew about. He still makes us laugh everyday just like when the two of you were inseparable. Nicolas, who is named after you, wishes he met you and knows you were the special angel that brought him home from Russia.

Daddy is working so much and so hard. You need to be his special angel too.

There isn't a day that doesn't go by that we don't think of you. You were one special child here on earth and hopefully are in a very special place looking down on us.

Yesterday was a really hard day but 3 of my good friends (Paula,Donna and Deb) took me out to lunch, remembering it was the day God took you. I saw Jodi at the gym who knew it was a special day and I remember all the hard work she did when we were away in NYC trying to make you better. Patti was working at the restaurant and we wished she could of joined us for lunch too. She is always helpful and an inspiration.

We all went to church for you on Sunday (Daddy, Mom, Marissa, Travis and Nick). It was beautiful for me to have my whole family there and Papa and GG and Jen and of course Father Mike. Bubbie and Zadie stopped by with Taylor and Jason. Mary came by, with Matt,like every year with a dozen orange roses for me and stayed for awhile to keep me company. I got to talk to Danyell and meet her kitty "Tink" named after your favorite character.

Kelli, John, Zoe and Zach went to church on Sunday too after we got home from our trip to NYC. I thought about you the whole time that Marissa, Zoe, Kelli and I were there (especially at the American Girl Doll Store). You had more dolls and clothes than anyone I know but it kept you happy and busy in the hospital especially when Yvette's doll would have sleepovers with yours!

Take care of all those special children battling FA and cancer. We have been doing a good job of raising funds for FA in memory of you (over $100K to date)thanks to all of our family and friends.

Use your angel powers to keep Deb,Rhonda and Kathy strong and disease free.

Love You Baby Doll, Mommy

Forgot to add one more important event from this day. Jeff, who you always called Jeffrey stopped his car when I was waiting for Marissa to get off the bus and he and Payton were listening to Annie songs. That had to be a sign! It made my day!

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Links:

http://www.coleyscause.com   Coley's Cause Charitable Trust Foundation
http://www.fanconi.org/   Fanconi Anemia Research Fund