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Wednesday, June 10, 2009 2:39 PM CDT

Hello All,
Things have been pretty busy around here. Alot has gone on in the last few weeks. I passed Anatomy with a B and Psych with an A and was so releived for it to be over!!!! The next day I slipped and fell and broke my pinky finger and had to have a cast for three weeks, which was aweful because I was due in two weeks and it was my right hand. One week in on May 26th at 6:31 PM Little Miss AnnGracyn Carmichael was born weighing 7lbs 5oz and was 19 inches long. She is beautiful and is so sweet. She has a head full of dark hair and looks like my baby pictures. I finally got a baby that looks like me! It worked out perfectly thought because I am so glad the boys look like thier daddy. He is very handsome and so are they. Noah looking so much like Logan it is unreal at times. We are all doing OK. Noah is adjusting to a lot. A new sister, having to share me with her and new glasses. He is doing pretty good with all of them. We have a few off moments but overall not too bad. We found out the week before I got out of school that he had to have glasses and another eye surgery this year to help strengthen his eye muscles. They are weak from his eyelids being closed for so long at birth until his other surgery. We just got the glasses in last week and he is doing so so much better then I ever imagined. I really thought it would be a nightmare,it was the first day, but by the next day he was doing so much better and now it it not bad at all. He takes them off a few times a day but I put them right back on and he is fine. They are Super Man blue and so cute on him. He looks like a Super Hero. They are indestructable which is good because Noah's nickname is Bam Bam because he is so destructive and everywhere. Anyway I will get Nicki to help me post pictures of them both ASAP. I still am not good at that. Well I wanted to let everyone know that she is here safe and sound. I will update soon.
Kyla
Mother of an Angel in Heaven and two on Earth

Sunday, March 15, 2009 12:47 AM CDT

I wanted to tell everyone that Noah turned One on Friday and I can't even believe it. He is so big already. We had a party for him yesterday and he had so much fun. I was worried that it would be too crowded in our house and he would get overwhelmed, but he was amazing. Birthdays are a big deal to us and we always had huge birthday bashes for Logan but they were outside since his birthday is in September. This time everyone was inside. luckily our house is not tiny so we can accomadate, but there was still ALOT of people. He had such a good time. He was so cute with his cake and gifts. He did not get overwhelmed with all the poeple and being passed around. It was sweet that he wanted to go with Brandon's Dad alot. He is really tall and Noah can see everybody when he is holding him. We had a large number of family here. Noah got to celebrate his birthday with his great, great aunts.My Mom's aunts. Three of them came. Aunt Beatrice is 90 and still drives, aunt Lois is 85 and just made Ann Gracyn and quilt that my grandmother helped piece for her, and aunt Rose or aunt "Ose" as Logan called her is 83. They are amazing and I hope the genes run deep enough to make it to me. He had three Great Grandmothers here and a slew of Great aunts and Uncles and cousins and friends. It was so sweet to see how special he is and how much he is loved. He got nice gifts and was very happy that everyone was here to play with him. I promise to make a new slide show as soon as I can. I am not good at it as we all know and I will need help figuring out the codes asnd such. I will do it, but it may take me a while.
The countdown is on after my next appt, ths week. It is hard to believe. I am just hoping to make it until this semester is over. Keep your fingers crossed.
Kyla
Mother of an Angel in Heaven and on Earth

Monday, March 2, 2009 5:01 PM CST

It has been a while since I updated last. Not much to report here. Noah is growing so fast and is on the cusp of walking all by himself. He only needs one finger to hold on to for balance. He will be off on his own soon and he will keep me busy busy chasing after him. He is an active little guy. He is always on the go. He will be one in 11 days. That is unreal! I can't beleive this year has gone by so quickly. He looks more and more like Logan everyday, it is amazing. He is a mess too. I will upload his birthday pictures and cute invitation as soon as I get Nicki to show me how:) She will be a little busy in the next few days so I ask you to keep her father and all the family in your prayers. Her Dad is getting his long awaited kidney transplant tomorrow. Please pray for him as well as Tony the donor.
Ann Gracyn is growing. She is kicking up a storm. When I go back to the Doctor around the middle of the month, I will officially start my every two week appt.'s Crazy. Although I do feel like I have been pregnant for two solid years:) School is really overwhelming right now. A&P is a tough class with tons of assignments and two test a week most weeks. Work is slower then usual, but it is a blessing so I can keep up with school. As usual my plate if full and my head is spinning, but it is all worth it. Brandon is doing great, working and taking care of our cattle. Take care and God Bless
Kyla
Mother of an Angel in Heaven and on Earth.

Saturday, January 17, 2009 11:05 AM CST

Feb 4th, Brandon had a really neat idea tonight for Ann Gracyn's name. He suggested we add Carmichael to her as a middle name after he and my father. His middle name is Carl and my Dad's is Michael.( Ann is my Mom and grandma and sisters midle name) I love it! It will be long but meaningful. Noah got a very meaninful middle name so she should too. Ann-Gracyn Carmicheal Byard. Not sure if she will be called Ann Gracyn or just Gracyn. Guess we will see when she gets here.



January 23rd
Logan and Noah are going to have a little sister. The ultrasound looked great and she is for sure a girl.
Please pray for a continued healthy pregnancy and for our daughter, Ann Gracyn Byard to be healthy and safe.
Ann Gracyn means "God has favored me".

I want to thank everyone who thought of us on Thursday. Some called, some emailed, some signed in the guestbook. No matter how you acknowledged it I want to thank you for remembering. I know two years have passed and for many it will get harder and harder to remember because of things that are going on in your lives and busy schedules and such, but for my family it will be forever etched on our hearts and minds as the last day we held our sweet boy and felt him in our arms. The day was bearable only because of Noah. I could hold him and hug him and tell hin how much I loved him and it helped. The hardest part of the day is remembering all the events that led up to the final hour. All of the trauma that occured, all of the fear, the unknown. How everything seemed to unravel so quickly right before our eyes. Moments that my eyes have etched on my brain that I wish I did not have to recall so vividly. Visuals that no parent should ever have to see or words that no parent should ever have to hear. No one should ever have to hold thier child as the Doctor calls the time of death. It is not right, it is not fair. It is so wrong on so many levels. Those are the reasons why the day is so hard for me. I know that Logan's body was forever healed that day and he was finally free from all pain, tubes and wires. I saw a holy and beautiful thing take place as God came to bring him home. I felt a peace along with heartbreak that is unable to be described and I am so greateful that he is safe and with God and Jesus and all those who love him there. When I think of how happy he is now and how much love he gave us and still is I can smile, but it is all of the other things that invade my thoughts that feels like a knife in my heart. I know that the Devil puts those thoughts there, that is how he tries to lead us away from God and test our faith. He is wasting his time on me because even though those thoughts hurt me so badly, he can never make me forget what I saw that day or what I felt. I heard the Angels singing. I felt the presence of something so holy and devine I was called by God to sing my baby home. These words forever in my mind. "My eyes have seen the greatness of the Lord, and my spirit exaults in God my Savior. For he has looked with mercy on my lowliness and my name will be forever exaulted. For the mighty God has done great things for me and his mercy will reach from age to age. And holy, holy, holy is his name. He has Mercy in every generation, he has revealed his power and his glory. He has cast down the mighty in thier arrogance and has lifted up the meak and the lowly, and holy, holy holy is his name." These are the words I was lead to sing through blinding tears and a broken heart over my sweet baby. These are the words my heart was filled with as I felt the presence of God in that room in that divine and holy moment. This provides me with comfort through the pain. I know that God and Heaven are very real and I can pleasantly anticipate my arrival there, but until then I have to be the best person I can be here on this earth for God, my family, my friends and for anyone I meet. I know Jesus is the only one capable of perfection so I know all I can do it to put forth an honest effort. I will fail at times and there are people in my life that make it impossible to do that so I just have to do my best until then. SO now I am rambling and I am sorry. It has just been a while since I really let things out. Thank you for listening and caring. Until next time
Kyla
Mother of an Angel in Heaven and on Earth.

Monday, January 12, 2009 8:03 PM CST

Today two years ago Logan successfully made it through yet another seven hour surgery. He had a new nissen wrap, a port, and a g-tube. It was a really hard surgery and he did amazing through it. How could we have ever expected the way things would turn 48 hours later when he started having the Vtach episodes. Thursday Jan, 15th it will have been two years since I held that sweet child in my arms. I miss him so much and I can't believe that two years have passed. It feels like yesterday, truly it feels like it was just the other day. Noah's presence is very soothing and helpful, he lets me hug him and kiss him so willingly, as if he knows why I need to. Sometimes it also feels like I am hugging Logan. HIs hair feels like silk like Logan's and his skin feels like velvet he is so familiar and yet so different all at the same time. Please continue to keep our family, especially Noah and the baby on the way in your prayers. We have our ultrasound on the 19th for measurements. Please pray for it to go well.
Kyla
Mother of an Angel in Heaven and on Earth

Friday, December 26, 2008 2:44 PM CST

Well Christmas has come and gone and I feel like it has been a whirlwind. Although I was fully into celebrating Christ birth, It just did not feel like Christmas to me. Maybe because it came so soon after Thanksgiving and it was such a rush and strain on the pocket book to get it all done in such a short time. I am not sure why really, I am pretty sure that no Christmas will ever feel like it used to. I vividly remember every Christmas morning spent with Logan, the last one was spent a Vanderbilt and that memory is one that is so very hard for me to think about, so I have a hard time really getting the Christmas spirit. I will truly say that Logan gave Brandon and I the best gift ever this year by sending us Noah to wake up to on Christmas morning. His sweet smile and loving personality gives Brandon and I joy that we never thought we could possibly feel again. His similarity to Logan knocks the searing pain down a step to a dull pain that aches, but he can truly bring a smile to our faces and melt our hearts.
We spent Christmas Eve at my Dad's Moms that afternoon and then my parents that night. It was nice. Paige, my niece and Noah are so funny together. They were really fun to watch. We ate opened gifts and then played rook ( a card game) Me and Mamaw won. We beat Brandon and Kelli. That was awsome because Brandon is a really good player and he always wins. Not that time!!!!
We spent Christmas morning just the three of us opening gifts and cooking breakfast then off to my Mom's Mothers. We ate again and played dirty santa. It was fun. We were home around 5:30 because Brandon's Dad and Marilyn were here. We spent a few hours with them opening gifts. They always do too much! Noah got a really cute rocking horse that talks and sings, other toys and clothes. Brandon and I got nice gifts also. We go to his grandmothers tomorrow. Anyway I have spent a good part of the day cleaning up the mess and trying to find a home for everything. Noah is asleep and I am taking a break. I am tired for good reason
There is something I have not shared on Caring Bridge because I was just not ready to tell the world yet, but I think it is time to let you all know that we are expecting another baby the first of June. I am 16 weeks and al is well so far. This was not planned, but was so very welcomed and we are very excited for Noah and Logan to have another sibbling. Hopefully they will be able to tell the sex at the next appt in January. Also that will be the scan that can see if things look OK with development. Please keep us in your prayers for that to all look great. School starts back in a few weeks I have Anotomy and Physiology with a lab and developmental pysch. next semester. I will once again have my plate full and running over, but that is the way I have always done things. Take care and I hope you all had a blessed Christmas. I hope everyone took the time to sing Happy Birthday to our Savior Jesus Christ. We are so blessed to be able to celebrate his birth and the many gifts he gives us. His promise is what I hold on to everyday. Happy Birthday Jesus. We Love You!
Kyla
Mother of an Angel in Heaven and on Earth

Wednesday, December 3, 2008 5:05 PM CST

We are home! All went well. Noah did amazing through it all. He was so good not eating anything. He got the best baby of the day award in the holding area prior to surgery. They were able to get everything done in about an hour and 15 minutes. We were so glad for that. He woke from sedation rather quickly and was very agitated. His eyes are very swollen and he is not able to close them at this time, but should be able to within a few days. He has three incisions over each eyebrow and on hid lids. The medication has worn off and he is in a better mood right now. He is just swolled and things ok a little odd for the time being. Sorry I was not able to give an update any sooner, I could not ger online for some reason in the waiting room. Thank you for all of your prayers and thanks to those who called to check on us.
Kyla
Mother of an Angel in Heaven and on Earth

Monday, December 1, 2008 3:11 PM CST

Hello everyone,
I just wanted to ask everyone to keep Noah and our family in your prayers Wednesday. We will be at Vanderbilt once again for our sweet Noah to have surgery on his eye lids. We are greatful to have Vanderbilt close by. They are so profficient in what they do and we would not want any of our children to be anywhere else. We are just aprehensive as any parent would be if thier child was facing surgery of any kind. I will take the laptop(if i remember it:) so I can keep you guys updated on how things are going. Please just pray for an uneventful text book perfect surgery and that little Noah not feel any pain or discomfort. I do not want that baby to hurt at all.
Thank you to all for praying for and loving our family.
Kyla
Mother of an Angel in Heaven and on Earth

Tuesday, November 18, 2008 8:03 PM CST

Sorry so long since my last update. I have not had a lot of new news to report. Noah is great! He is the sweetest baby. So loveable and hugable and smiles all the time. I really feel like he is an Angel sent from Logan to help my heart heal. He lets me hold him close and kiss him and he snuggles right up to it all. He is a good sleeper too right now. I hope it stays that way:) The surgery for his eys has been scheduled for Dec. 3rd at Vanderbilt. The doctor thought that he would benefit from having the procedure done to help lift his eye lids for his development. Crawling and walking will be easier if he does not have to pitch his head back to see. I am sooooo not looking forward to going back to the third floor where all surgery is held at Vanderbilt and waiting for my other son to undergo surgery. I know the surgery itself is nothing compared to what we have been through, but I am still very aprehensive about the anesthesia (sp?) and intubation. Please just keep us in your prayers during that time. The time of year does not help either. We spent all of OCt, Nov, and Dec in the hospital there and all of those holidays and I am just not ready to return to there during these same Holidays. I will get through it though. God will carry us and I have to just remind myself of that every day. we are not going to be put in a bubble and protected from all of the scary things in life just because we have had the scariest happen. We are not off limits to anything or anyone and I have found that out too many times.
School is going ggood. I only have a few more weeks of chemistry and art left. Next semester will be part time as well with anatomy and developmental psyc. I am not sure when I will be able to go full time, which will be the nursing classes and clinicals. I do not want to put Noah in Daycare and I want to spend more time with him than what that would allow and I have other reasons also. I will get it done in my time. I am not in a huge hurry just because I want to be home while he is young.
Brandon is doing great. He is home so much more now that winter is here. Noah just lights up when he walks in the room and smiles with his dimpled smile and says dadadadadada. It is so sweet. Brandon eats it up. Well I guess this is a long enough update so i will go and hopefully I will update sooner next time. I have a feeling I will:) Until then.
Kyla
Mother of an Angel in Heaven and on Earth

Sunday, September 28, 2008 12:10 AM CDT

Hello All,
The balloon release went beautifully! We counted about 60 people give or take a few. We had over 100 balloons in John Deer green and yellow that were released at 6:45 PM. We sang Happy Birthday and released the balloons up to Heaven for Logan and all of his friends. The amazing thing was that they all stayed together in a pretty close pack and never scattered. They headed straight up and out right toward a beautiful cloud where they ascended out of sight still together. We were not all huddled together either we were spread out in a large group. It was very remarkable and touching. Noah released a balloon as well. My friend Melissa took pictures and I will post them as soon as I get them. All of Logan's little friends were so cute and played so well together. They all knew it was Logan's Birthday party and we so excited to send him balloons for his party in Heaven. Children are so sweet and have such beautiful and innocent hearts. I owe a big Thank you to Nicki (Isaiah's Mom) AKA Super Women sho made cupcakes and a John Deer Tractor birthday cake that was amazing. Brandon and I hid it from one anther so that we could have it all to ourselves after the party, it was so good!!! She also made other dishes. She is a great friend!! Please Keep Isaiah in your prayers as he has surgery tomorrow to close his pallette and open his eyelids more. All of our friends were awsome. Brandon had great help from some of the guys he works with as well as our dear friends the Markus's (my friend,Jaime's, who was killed in car accident in 2005, family) they spent hours cooking food on the smoker. It was wonderful. Noah is awake now and I really need to study for my chemistry test. I will post again as soon as I can. The next few months are the hardest time for me. Logan's birthday and all the major family holidays and then January will be before you know it and two years will have passed. That is unreal and it really is painful to think about.

Kyla
Mother of an Angel in Heaven and on Earth.

Thursday, September 18, 2008 10:17 PM CDT

Logan's 7th birthday is tomorrow, the 19th. I can't beleive I am the Mother of a seven year old.
We are having a balloon release in his honor again this year at our house for friends and family. I have alot on my mind and in my heart about this special day and event, but I am not able to put it into words at this time. I miss him so much and this special day emphasizes so much more his absence. It is with me in all I do, but to have this day come and him not be here to have a birthday blowout like we always did is a punch in the gut. I know he will be with us, as he is everyday, but I want to see his smile and hear his voice and kiss his face as I sing happy birthday to him. I LOVE you Baby Boy. Happy, Happy Heavenly Birthday.
Love Mommy



Today is mine and Brandon's 9th wedding anniversary.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008 8:48 PM CDT

Nicki, Isaiah's Mom, told me I needed to update Logan's page. So here I am. She is right it has been a while since I updated. Nicki and Isaiah are coming over tomorrow and hopefully Nicki can teach me how to put new pictures of Noah up in the slide show.

So a little update of what's been going on.
I started school a few weeks ago I have a Chemistry class and an art appreciation class this semester. I am still only going part time until Noah gets bigger. I am still working a few hours a week doing the medical exams for life and health insurance. Noah is growing so well and he is so funny. He is a sweet baby. He is not the best sleeper, but he is a good baby. He slept in his room for the first time last night. I was a nervous wreck. Noah was waking up so many times in the night sleeping in our room in his bed, so we thought maybe he would do better in his own room. That was the advice we had been given from many.So we tried it. I did not do it cold turkey or anything. We have a video monitor so I could see him, but that may not be the best because I woke up several times in the night and could not see him in the monitor so I would pannic and run in his room and he would have rolled out of the camera's view. I will get used to it in time. I just feel so far away from him and it is just 7 feet down the hall. He did OK, he woke up at 11:00 PM and 4:30 AM. If he had skipped the 11:00 feeding it would have been and awesome night. Now me on the other hand woke up too many times. I will work on that!
Logan's birthday is quickly approaching. He would be seven years old on the 19th of this month. That is so hard to believe. I am planning to have a balloon release again this year with friends and family at the house. This year it will be on his actual birthday. It is on Friday.
Mine and Brandon's 9th wedding anniversary is the 18th of this month also.
I miss Logan so much you guys. Noah helps me by giving me a place to channel all of that love and attention. He is so sweet, but when I look at him sometimes I stare deep into his eyes and I have flash backs of looking into Logan's big dark eyes throughout his life. I want to hold him and hug him. I am starting to forget the actual sound of his voice and that hurts so much. I have videos but I can't watch them right now. I love to talk about him and the funny things he did to people and most of the time they make me smile and really make my heart swell with pride, but there are sometimes when it is like someone is ripping my gut out. My boy is with me everyday though. I can feel his love all around me. Right now whatI notice really bothering me through the day is when people ask me if Noah is my only child or don't ask me if I have other children and we talk all about Noah and their children and I do not get to tell them all about Logan. Mainly because I do not want to share that with every single person I meet immediately. It makes me feel so bad to think that I left him out of conversations.
I will find a way that is comfortable for me to deal with that in time I am sure.
Until next time
Kyla
Mother of an Angel in Heaven and on Earth

Friday, August 1, 2008 10:12 AM CDT

Hello everyone,
I will have more pictures of Noah to post soon!
I have a few things to share with you.
I first want to say that I found out recently that a very devoted Caring Bridge follower from Georgia, Ms. Sandy Dierks passed away. Sandy was a huge support to me after Logan went home. She sent me beautiful gifts on Mothers Day and she found the book "The Angel with the Golden Glow" for me and had it shipped here so I could have it. She was a wonderful friend who I never met. She followed alot of CB families including Isaiah. Nicki and I had not heard from her in a while. Her last email to us told us of her recent cancer diagnosis. When we could not get her to reply back to emails, Nicki suggested I google her name and there we found her obituary. Sandy his now with my Logan and I am sure they are great friends. Thank you Sandy for loving my son and my family when you did not have to. Hug my boy for me.

Next I want to share with you two things that have my heart feeling full. Noah and I were in a car accident with my God sister and her two children Wed. We were not hurt, but it trully was by the grace of God and our Gaurdian Angels that were with us.
The street I live on is off of a pretty busy road. We were in her car waiting to turn onto my street. As we truned on the road a huge dump truck filed with asphault (sp?)turned with us on two wheels. We were totally shocked all we saw were his tires right at the window, he made contact with the car and broke the window and the mirror and Anna steared the car perfectly away from him and in the grass between and tree and shrubs seconds before the truck flipped on its side spilling asphault everywhere just feet away. We all got out of the car and I called 911. The driver was hurt but not that badly. We were all fine not even a scratch. Mr. Noah was in the backseat buckled in between her two children and he did not even wake up. I promise you it was as if the car had a protective bubble around it and when the truck hit us it just cushioned it and pushed us out of the way. The window broke, but the tint in it kept all of the glass intact and none got in the car. We were so very protected. We know Logan and Bonnie, my GodMother were with us for sure. The truck had come around the curve going too fast and could not stop in time from rear ending the cars that were stopped behind us so he cut out in the oncoming traffic lane just as we were turning so he turned with us. We never saw him. the likely hood of him t-boneing us or rolling over on us were greater than the possibility that no one would be injured in this accident. We were all so blessed. When we got Noah out of the car he had no idea why I was sqeezing him and crying, he was asleep. My heart felt so full of gratitude to God and Logan for protecting my Baby. I wanted to share that with you all as well as keep it in my journal for years to come to remember it in detail. Not that I could forget.
Last, but not least, I want to share something else that made me smile very big. I have looked up the meaning of the name "Noah" several times and each time I get the word Comfort in the meaning. Usually the words peace or rest or many other similar words like that accompany it. I had never really looked up Thomas before. We chose it for Logan because we liked the way it sounded together, and it was fitting fot it to be Noah's middle name as well. So I looked it up a few minutes ago and the meaning of Thomas is "Twin" Noah's name means "comfort twin" How about that:)
Kyla
Mother of an Angel in Heaven and on Earth

Monday, July 14, 2008 6:18 PM CDT

I know some of you may be frustrated with me for not updating more frequently, but Noah keeps me very busy. So I will tell you that he is doing great! He is getting so big! He is in 6-9 month clothing already. The funny thing about that is that all of Logan's summer clothes from the first year are 6-9 months so Noah gets to wear them even though he is only four months and that is great. He started eating cereal and veggies and rolled over today for the first time to his tummy from his back. He acts like his teeth are working thier way in as well. We go next week for shots. He is fussing now so I will go. He is a really happy baby most of the time, but I know his ums are bothering him. God bless everyone and please continue to lift Isaiah and his parents up as they went home today and are going to give antibiotics with the hopes that the infection will be gone for good.
Kyla
Mother of an Angel in Heaven and on Earth

Tuesday, June 17, 2008 9:28 PM CDT

Hello Friends
I come here tonight to request some strong prayers for my dear friend Isaiah. He is battling a fierce fight right now and needs your petitions to our Lord for healing. Please go to his website to learn details www.caringbridge.org/ky/isaiah
Noah is doing very well.
He has to see a Pediatric Opthamologist due to pressure on his eyes that is a result of being in my birth canal for two days. The muscle that helps open and close the lid has been weakened and as a result he does not open his eyes very wide. At this time it is not causing any harm to his vision, but the chances are that it will. They will have to reinforce that muscle with a stitch under each eyelid at some point and this will have to be done at Vanderbilt. This is not something that has to be done soon. In fact the longer they can wait the greater the chances it wil not have to be repeated. If his vision becomes an issue then it will have to be done sooner and they may need to take connective tissue from his thigh to help strengthen the muscle. It is non invasive and should prove to be a straight forward surgery, with the risk of intubation and sedation. He is otherwise doing wonderful and is very playful and funny. I will post pictures when I have time to figure out how. Take care an please pray for Isaiah
Kyla
Mother of an Angel in Heaven and on Earth

Sunday, April 27, 2008 8:03 PM CDT

Sorry no update lately. Noah is keeping me very busy.
I have one week of school left and I am working some too in the afternoons when Brandon is off work, or when Mom can watch him. He is growing and doing well. I will post pictures when I figure out how, Nicki (Isaiah's Mom) usually does it becuase she is good at that. I am not!!!
Update soon. Please keep praying for Isaiah's recovery as he had surgery last Tuesday. The mid-face that was cancelled last month.
kyla
Mother of an Angel in Heaven and Earth

Friday, March 14, 2008 0:30 AM CDT

******Here is the slide show I promised. The web site for it has been acting up. This will be the last I post....I am sure Kyla will have lots to say when things settle down. Little Noah was delivered c-section after Kyla was in labor for over 24 hours. The pics in the slide show are just about 2 hours after he was born...yes Kyla looks amazing after being through all of that!! I know she will love to read your comments and will have lots to tell about this lastest edition to their family. Thank you all for supporting this amazing family in the birth of their second son.

-Nicki (isaiah's mom)


This is Kyla's friend Nicki.

I am proud to announce that Noah Thomas was born tonight March 13, 2008. I think it was around 8:00 but I didn't look at the exact time. He weighs 8 pounds 1 1/2 ounces and is 21 1/2 inches long. He is a beautiful healthy little boy. I am just getting back from being with them and taking
lots of pictures. I will share lots of pictures tomorrow of him with his proud mommy and daddy.

Boy Logan would be so proud of him he is beautiful and looks just like his big brother!!!

I am working on a slideshow of the ones I have....should be up by this afternoon. Here is the pic that our friend Melissa did.

Monday, March 3, 2008 12:08 AM CST

Isaiah's surgery has been cancelled for two weeks. Dr. Kelly was sick this morning and afraid of passing something to Isaiah. They had to pack everything up and go back home. God has a purpose for this I am sure. Please continue to keep them in your prayers. Waiting for something like this is really hard as well.


Hello Everyone,
I just wanted to post and ask everyone to please say extra special prayers for Isaiah and his family. Tomorrow he undergoes his toughest surgery yet.
They are going to be preforming the mid- face surgery that Nicki has talked about. This is very necessary to help with his airway issues and also give his brain the room it needs for development. They are planning for it to take 10 to 13 hours at this point. It is just very complex and they are going to changing so much. I spoke with Nicki few minutes ago, they were in pre-op clinic getting everything squared away. After that they were going to take Isaiah to the Nashville Zoo and then out to one of his favorite places. He is doing well and they are all in good spirits just very, very nervous!!!! So I ask that you please lift their family up over the next week not only During surgery but after as we all know how the body has a hard time handling the shock of all that has taken place and medications. Please pray for his seizure activity to be absent or very manageable. Please pray for his body to endure the lengthy surgery well and begin healing quickly. Please pray that his body does not reject the bone or metal they use to build his face out with as well as the internal halo that will be attached after surgery to hold it all together until it begins to attach and grow for several months after the surgery. Above all please pray that God holds him so close, as we know he will, and keeps him safe and protects him from the pain. You can keep up with him if you do not already by going to his CB page. ky/isaiah
Kyla
Mother of an Angel
All is well here. I will let you know when Noah arrives. Everything is still going fine.
My Niece Paige is doing great as well.

Monday, January 21, 2008 10:44 AM CST

Hello All,
As I promised, I am posting today. I want to thank everyone deeply who signed in the guestbook and who sent cards and called. We are very grateful to have so many who love us and support us!.
We managed to get through the day, it was surreal.
Throughout the last year I have many days when I would recall what we were doing this time last year with Logan. Weather is was a hospital stay, surgery or more enjoyable things such as trips to the lake and outings that we took with him.
It was very, very hard to not do that on Tuesday. I had to really make an effort to not go there.
We had Mass said in his honor that morning. Carolina came from Nashville to spend the day with me and she and I and Kristin went to Hobby Lobby and got floweres to put in the vases and some hearts that we painted on and put in the vases that were sweet. We went to the cemetery and took the Christmas trees down and put the new sunflowers and daisies in and fixed the hearts in the vases for him. We spent about an hours just working on things and cleaning up around there and making it look pretty.
Brandon went to work, he said it wouldbe easier on him to stay distracted, I totally understood. I stayed distracted all day. My friend Melissa called and asked me to lunch, she wanted to spend some time with me so we went. Then Carolina and I went home and crashed. Nothing felt right, no matter what we did so we did nothing after that. The whole week was very distrubing, Yesterday was the day of his life celebration as well as my Godmother, Bonnie's birthday. If you recall in my November post she passed from cancer then. I can't believe that as of today it really has cycled one full year since the day that we truly said goodbye to Logan here on this earth and began joyfully awaiting our reunion day with him in Heaven.
I miss him so much, I know that is pretty obvious, but it is indescribable to put into words how much. Please continue to keep us in your prayers as everyday is a struggle to remember God's plan is far greater than we can ever comprehend. It is very painful to experience the memories that go through our heads daily, good and bad ones. Noah helps to soften the pain and helps it not hurt so brutally every single moment. I hope all your familes are well. I am not very good and letting everyone know I think about them as much as I do. Thank you for being our friends.
Love
Kyla
Mother of an Angel

Friday, January 4, 2008 8:27 PM CST

I am sure some of you were wondering if I would ever post again.

I just had to get through some days with out going to deep into what I was feeling.
We made it through Christmas. It was hard and heart wrenching, but the gift of Jesus Christ birth was all that kept me from falling into a million pieces.
We went to Christmas Eve Mass and then Christmas morning Brandon and I went to the Cemetery since usually we spent Christmas morning opening gifts with Logan.
We are trying to brace ourselves for the next few weaks knowing it has almost been a year which is so hard to believe. I don't have really anything to say so much.

Noah is doing fine, I had an ultrasound yesterday and it was good. He is measuring 30 weeks and weighs 3 pounds.
I will keep you posted about him. I am not sure if I will post on the 15th so don't get worried I will post when I feel like it. I jsut have to get through it.

Kyla
Mother of an Angel

Friday, December 7, 2007 3:45 PM CST

It has bee a while since I last updated, so I thought I would let everyone know how things were going.
Paige, my sisters baby is doing OK, she is still not eating as well as she could. Kelli took her Thursday for an upper GI and it confimred her reflux but nothing else significant that would explain why she is not wanting to eat and gain.
They are switching her formula again to see if that will help.
I went yesterday for my 24 week appt. and had an ultrasound.
All looks great still. he is very active and developing fine. The tech is a girl I know since I used to work at the office, she did a fun 3D scan just to see and we did get some pretty clear pictures. he looks like Logan to me and Brandon. That was comforting.
I have finals next week and my first semester on college this go around is over. I am only taking two online classes next semester since he is due in March.

Christmas is fast approaching and I am so glad for the gift of the season and I am thanking God for the gift of his son, It is ever so a reminder of the baby I am missing though. We opted out of a tree and decorations this year, not feeling the spirit in that way. It is hard to get all the same adds and see the comercials for all the kid advertising. We will make it through the breakdowns they are just really hard. I did put up miniature Christmas trees in the vases that are on either side of the mauselium. They are decorated with mini round ornaments of red, green, blue, and silver. They are sweet and sparkle against the black granite.

January is lurking around the corner and I am pressing it out of my mind, I truly do not feel like a year has passed since I held that sweet child in my arms and felt his face against mine. I need to go for now and will update when I have some news.
Kyla
Mother of an Angel

Saturday, November 10, 2007 12:50 AM CST

At 2:00 am this morning Bonnie, my wonderful, amazing Godmother earned her well deserved wings!!
Of all the people I know I can truly say that Bonnie is the only one that I would not worry for one second about her heavenly reward. She is the most honest, caring , kind compassionate person I have ever know and probably ever will. She has been a second Mother to me and for that I an eternally grateful. She and Logan had a bond and I could not think of anyone that would be better suited to be with him until I can get there. I am at her house right now waiting for home health to come and pick up everything while the kids and Jack make her arrangements. The only thing I know for sure is that it will be at St. Joseph Church and she asked me and my family to sing her funeral Mass. I am honored.

Bonnie was 67 years old, this was her third round with cancer. She had 5 children. Two girls and three boys and 10 grandchildren. She was a amazing wife, Mother and Grandmother and the best ever Godmother. She took her role very serious and did an outstanding job leading me and guiding me in my faith and in all aspects of life growing up. She was there for me when I was in trouble and when I was upset. She gave me good advive, but never critized me. She never made me feel worse than I already did. She accepted me flaws and all, just like a mother does. She has always just been there for me, as her daughters and Jack have been. I am sure I will feel lost not knowing where to turn when I am in those moments of needing advice and just someone to talk to, but I know she is with Jesus and Logan and that makes me smile and know I can face anything with them on my side.
Please pray for the peace and comfort only God can provide for the family and myself over then next few days, as well as the days to come.

*** Side note
Paige is home doing well so far. Still not a great eater though.

Kyla
Mother of an Angel

Friday, November 2, 2007 1:44 PM CDT

I just wanted to let you know that we are having another beautiful baby boy!!! I was pretty sure from the last ultrasound, but wanted to make sure after the one I had today. I am going next week for full measurements, but we did a quick one today and all looked good and we for sure saw a boy!!!
His name is Noah Thomas after his big brother.

Paige is still in the hospital. She roomed in with Kelli last night, but she could not get her to eat very good, so they want her to stay in the nursery tonight and try again tomorrow night. I may stay with her and help her out until she gets the hang of all of it. Basically she just has to get the hang of never sleeping again :) It is a rude awakening to say the least!!!

I still have not been able to open my heart up here on this site and say how I am really feeling. I am not sure why. I think mostly because I have so many deeply emotional moments daily that overwhelm me that I can't purposely go there here. I seem to be haunted by the movie reel that plays over and over in my head of the nightmare moments and the heart wrenching things he endured and then I become so angry that I could not stop it and make it all better for him. I don't want to confuse any one and make them think I am angry in general, because I am not. God is good and I know his plan is so much bigger than I could ever imagine. I also know that he is kind and merciful, but as a mother I can't get the viusal images out of my head of the worst times for some reason. I pray that this little Angel in my belly does not have to endure those things, I am not sure my heart can take it.
I want so badly to be an active mother, but I am so afraid it is not in my destiny. Noah looks great so far, but I have seen too much to think that it is all OK with good ultrasounds. Please continue to pray!
Thanks for checking in and thinking of us.
Kyla
Mother of an Angel

Friday, October 26, 2007 10:16 AM CDT

Well I thought I should update and tell everyone that Paige is still in the NICU. She is not eating well still.
She only wakes up for a few ML's and falls asleep. Her goal is 45 Ml,s (1&1/2 ounce)and she will take anywhere from 10 to 35 you just never know. I fed her at her 9 am feeding yesterday and got her to take 35 , but that was as good as she did all day. She took 10 the next and 15 the next time. They tube feed her the rest so she does not lose anymore weight. We are really anxious to get her home. Kelli is at Moms now and is going up for her feedings every three hours, but it is hard and memory that is so very vivid for me even 6 years later. Please pray for her to eat soon and come home.
Please also pray for me beloved Godmother who is now facing cancer again for the third time. She has deteriorated fast and has chosen not to take chemo or radiation due to teh severity of things. She will be going home today and we are not sure how long she will be with us. It does not seem like this could be happening, but it is. I pray for God to show us a miracle. She a very special and wonderful person and someone I need in my life.
If that is not God's desire than I will accept and know that she and Logan will be together and that gives me comfort.
Please pray for My dear friend Jessica and her Mother, as her Mother is going through a very similar trial right now and has a very rapid cancer that is very frightening. They need your love and power of your prayers.
Kyla
Mother of an Angel

Saturday Morning around 6:15 a.m. Jessica's Mother earned her beautiful
wings. Please pray for the family.

Monday, October 22, 2007 11:35 AM CDT

My Niece was born on Wed at 8:35 PM she is five and a half weeks early. I was in the C-section with Kelli because Corey was not able to get there when everything actually happened.
She is doing really well other than she is not eating very good at this time. She is in the NICU at the Med center here in BG and had to be on C-pap the first 12 hours and now is just needing to eat and gain. She was 5lbs 12oz and ahs dropped to 5lbs 2oz today. She just has not got the hang of suck swallow which is totally normal for her prematurity. We would like for her to come home SOON! They are going to come to my house for a few days until they feel comfortable with her. I CAN"T WAIT!!! She is so darn cute and little.
Her name is Paige Jillian. I do not have pictures yet.
I go back to the Dr. in a two weeks for another ultrasound. I will let you know how it goes.
Kyla
Mother of an Angel

Friday, September 28, 2007 12:28 AM CDT

Well I guess a few of you were wondering how we made it through Logan's birthday.
We managed to get through the day as well as we could, I guess.
The Balloon release went beautifully on the 16th. There were about 45 to 50 people actually there and we released 75 balloons in the air at the same time.
We had a prayer and my mom spoke, because I could not, and thanked everyone for coming. It was very tearful, but felt honoring to our sweet boy.
Wed. Brandon went to work, because that is how he copes, by staying occupied. My friend Carolina came in from Nashville to spend the day with me. We went and picked up the dozen balloons and SuperMan balloons and took them to the cemetery. We came back later to see what else had been brought. There were over 20 ballons out there by the end of the day and several cards. Also his little friends drew him pictures and one made a small stepping stone with is name on it.
I just felt very, very empty that day. I spent most of the day remembering past birthday events and of course the most important day of all, the day he was born into my life.
I am staying as busy as I can and trying to focus on the day I get to hold the child I am carrying in my arms. It gets me through most days.
My sister is doing OK. She is on bed rest and stil having contractions, but not nearly as bad as before. The plan is to try to hold her off for at least 3 to 4 more weeks. When she is 36 or 37 weeks.
The baby should be OK then.
I will keep you updated.
Thanks for checking in,
Kyla
Mother of an Angel

Friday, September 14, 2007 1:30 PM CDT

My appt. yesterday went fine. He did an ultrasound and as far as they could see things looked OK. We will not be able to get good measurements until the 16 to 20 week mark. The baby was very active and was swimming around all over. We got some pictures they were not as good as what we could actually see, but they never are.

I have a prayer request for my sister. She has been having real contractions since last Friday. She has been to the doctor and been in the hospital several times since then. They have given her Tributaline (sp?) by mouth to stop the contractions. They are not sure what is causing them , but they said they needed to get them stopped. She is only 30 weeks. The Dr. wants to hold her off for at least 4 weeks if possible and if she can go 6 weeks he wants to do a c-section. He put her on bed rest until then.

Sunday is approaching and I have been trying to get things together for the balloon release and meal that we are planning. I feel like there will be well over fifty people there if everyone comes that says they are coming. I got 100 balloons so I hope that is enough.
I am not as fearful of that day as I am Wed. the 19th. I was able to get my sociology professor to let me take our test Monday night instead of Wed. I am making sure I don't have to be anywhere that day. Last year I took him and Kailey, his best friend and my Grandmother who shares his birthday to breakfast and then to Imagination Station to jump on the inflatables for a few hours, then we went for happy meals and ice cream and then we went to Toys R Us to pick Logan and Kailey out gifts. Logan picked a Nemo cell phone. It was like $3 and that was all he wanted. Then that night we went to the Mexican restaraunt that he loves and had dinner with family and cake and ice cream. It was the best birthday. His party was on Saturday with all his friends and our family. We had a pinata (sp?) and lots of fun!I was so happy with his birthday last year.
He had so much fun!!!!!!
Thanks for checking on us,
Kyla,
Mother of an Angel

Tuesday, September 4, 2007 12:55 AM CDT

It has been awhile since my last update.
Everything is going fine so far, I go back to the Doctor on the 12th for my next appt./ultrasound.
I feel fine, still very uneasy about things, but praying for the best.

Logan's birthday is approaching and it is really been hard on me. The next 5 months are going to be harsh. This month of course is his birthday, next three months are obvioulsy going to be tough with the holidays, then January comes,
hard to believe it will be one year.
OK, although I know it sounds like I am dwelling on it, I am going ot try very hard to actually not, because it has been really weighing me down the last few weeks.

We have decided to have a balloon release on the 16th in honor of Logan's birthday. All the usual people who attend his birthday parties will be there and we will realease 50 balloons (all blue, his favorite color) at once.
Thank you so much for contiueing to check on us.I have figured out that writing just opens pandora's box of emotions for me, so I have to keep it vague for now.
Thanks for caring.
Kyla
Mother of an Angel

Tuesday, August 14, 2007 4:03 PM CDT

Hello Everyone,
Tomorrow is the 15th which marks another month gone by since Logan's passing. I try not to dwell on the date as much as I used to. I am more concerned with the 19th of next month approaching which is his birthday. I am not sure what we are going to do ,we had thought at first we would have a celebration of his life with our close friends and family, in lou of gifts anyone who wanted to, could make a donation to Logan's League. I am not sure if I am emtionally up for that just yet. I really feel like crawling under the covers the whole day, but I am not sure what I will feel like that day. I do not want to let the day go unnoticed by all, but I also do not want to be overwhelmed with emotion on top of being in charge of a function and being around alot of people and thier children. Also mine a Brandon's 8th wedding ann. is the day before. We have never really celebrated our anniversary since the day before he was born which is 6 years of not celebrating. I am not sure how things will play out or how we will feel.
I also wanted to remark on here that I really feel like I have lost my ability to write the way I used to. I feel like I have too many thoughts that run together. I used to write with my heart about how things were and how he was doing. Now my heart is numb, so I feel like my words are too. I apologize if you get confused reading it or do not feel like it is the old me, I am sorry, but it is not the old me amd I dont; think I will ever be able to write like that again

On another note, I really was not sure if and when I was going to share this information on here only because it was so soon up until now. I have known for about 4 weeks now that I was pregnant. I went to my first appt yesterday and had an ultrasound and everything looked good so I thought it would be time to let our Caringbridge family know as well. As always I ask for your prayers, but as we have learned we must pray more fo acceptance as God's will is already in place and I must be able to accept that even if it not my will. I pray that things will not be the same as last time, but I have aslo learned that because I have been through it once it does not make me exempt from happing again. I also know that it does not mean it will either. Being similar to the last time I know that it is 50/50. I do pray that God's will is for it not to have the same outcome. I go back to the doctor in four weeks for another ultrasound and I will let you know then. I am eight weeks now and my due date is March 25th. Thanks for sticking in there with us.
Kyla
Mother of an Angel

Tuesday, August 7, 2007 8:52 AM CDT

Good morning all,
The only thing I have to update today is that Isaiah did GREAT throughout his surgery yesterday and I talked to Nicki last night and she said he was doing pretty well other than being in alot of pain.
Please conitnue to keep him in your prayers, after surgery is very crucial too after the body starts to adjust and feels the shock of what has happened.
I am staying really busy working two jobs and enrolling for this semster (if I can get in a class I actually need) at Western. I am going to try to get my nursing degree if life works out so that I can go to school.
At church Sunday I had a big "Logan" moment. I have them all the time, but this one hit me with no warning. I have sang at church in the choir my entire life,truly since I was a very little girl with my family. I officially stopped in October of last year because I was no longer able to attend my church regularly due to Logan being in the hospital,and thought the spot should be free for someone else. My father, Mother and sister did the same. As the communion hymn began, one I have sang a thousand times, I began to sing the words. " I am the bread of life, you who come to me shall not hunger, and who believe in me shall not thirst, No one can come to me, unless the Father beckons. Chorus- And I will raise you up, and I will raise you up and I will raise you up on the last day".
I have sang that verse a thousand times and as the words, "No one can come to me unless the Father beckons", came out of my mouth, I was overwhelmed with so much emotion. I began to not be able to breathe, thinking of how our Father beckoned for Logan that day. As joyous as it is to know he is where we all hope to be, safe and sound. It is still too emotional to recall that day. I was not able to regain control until the end of the song. I have so many feelings as to why that song affected me that way and what it was telling me, but I can't put them into words just yet. I will update next week.
In case I forgot to put this on here, my sister found out she is having a girl. She is due November 27th.
Kyla
Mother of an Angel

Sunday, July 15, 2007 9:05 PM CDT

It is so hard to believe that it has been six months since my sweet Angel earned his glorious wings.
I have been dreading this day all month long. Not that six months was any harder than 1,2,3,4,and 5, but it marks that half way mark to the year anniversary of the most heartbreaking day of our lives.
My mind cannot wrap itself around the fact that I have not held him, heard him call my name or give me a sweet kiss and so many more precious moments in six months. I am sure that it is a good thing that I can’t wrap my mind around it, I feel it is God’s way of protecting my heart.
We decided a few weeks ago that we should try to spend the weekend away from home with friends so that we were not so overwhelmed with the emotions and memories that would come with this day.
We went camping with our dear friends, Dusty and Jessica White and their little girl Shelby. What made that such a helpful experience is not only the fact that they have been such GREAT friends who have always been there for us, but also because one of the most precious memories we have with Logan was made with their help last summer. They invited us to their camp site for supper last summer at Barren River Sate park about 30 minutes from our house. We had intended to only stay for a few hours and then come home thinking Logan would not be able to tolerate it for long. Boy were we wrong. They have a very nice camper with air conditioning a shower and the works . He had so much fun playing with the kids and enjoying the out door experience with all the comforts of home, he asked if we could stay. We were so nervous, but we knew that we could leave if we had to and be home soon, so we took a leap of faith and I drove back home and loaded up all of his medicine and got his O2 concentrator and many more tanks as well as his oxygen monitor and went back praying the whole way that it was not a mistake. Logan had so much fun that night and the three of us slept on the fold out couch in their camper. They cranked the air all the way up for Logan and we set up all of his equipment. He slept so good. I on the other hand got kicked out of the bed by him and Brandon because they were taking up all the room. I didn’t care though because I stayed awake most of the night watching him breathe and checking his machine. He awoke bright and early the next morning wanting to play with Shelby. They were both so excited that the other one was there and they thought it was so neat that we had a sleepover. We cooked breakfast and Logan played for along time with the other little girls. They were so sweet holding his oxygen tubing and moving his tank. They helped him and made sure he did everything they did. He also made sure that he did it too by bossing them around and telling them to get his tank or yelling at them for help if he got stuck. They were so good to him and helped him every moment until it got hot and he had an asthma attack. We loaded everything up and headed home and the whole way here while taking his breathing treatments all he could talk about was the fun he had. It was such a wonderful moment for us. We could have never given him that kind of experience with out the help of Dusty and Jessica and their wonderful camper. It was so nice to let him experience one of America’s greatest family outings. We made some wonderful memories that weekend watching him play and seeing how much he loved it. We were so grateful for the opportunity to be able to give him that experience and we will never forget how much fun it was for him. We knew that he was right with is this weekend enjoying every moment. We know that it was such a blessing to have been able to make that precious memory with him to look back on and smile with your heart.
Thank you Dusty, Jessica and Shelby for helping us make that memory and thank you God for being there with us and making sure it was so wonderful for him and us.
I love you sweet boy and I miss you so much, but my heart knows you are so safe and happy right where you are.
Kyla

Mother of an Angel

Wednesday, June 20, 2007 3:01 PM CDT

Hello,
So sorry for the long time between entries. I really do not have very much to tell you this week either.
I do want to share that on Saturday our friends, the Whites, had their annual horse trail ride fund raiser and this year they chose Logan's League as the recipient of the charity ride this year. I believe they raised close to $1,000.00 for Logan's League. We were so honored and blessed to be there and to have such great friends to host this event. Ir was so nice to see everyone come out to ride and know it was all going toward Logan's League to help more families. Right now I am having trouble with making it a non profit, because of the expense for the legal fees and paperwork. I got an estimate that it would be around 1,500.00 just to name it non profit and I really hate to spend that money on paperwork when it could go to a family. If anyone has any suggestions on how to do this at a more affordable rate or advice please let me know. I need to get this done for tax purposes for Logan's League as well as though who make contributions.
My friend from Nashville, Carolina and her cousin Angie came in this weekend and we had nice visit. We went out on the boat Sunday and we had a nice time. I am working more now. I am working a few days a week with my friend Natalie and I am likeing that alot!! It really does make a huge difference when you have somewhere to be evryday or every other day at least. It makes me feel better to be around people also. It keeps my mind from wondering too much.
Father's Day was Ok for Brandon. I got him a card from Logan and we decided to spend the day out of the house on the boat. He seemed to get through it OK, but I know he held alot of it in and tried to keep his mind off of it. As we were bringing the boat back in that afternoon I had a flash back of Logan out on the boat with us last summer and how much fun he had and how much joy he it brought us watching him in the boat in his little life jacket and all the sudden I had crocodile tears that would not stop no matter how hard I tried to make them. It was a great memory, but very painful all the same. I was able to get it together before we got back to the dock, without it being too obvious to everyone. Thanks for continueing to check on us, I am sorry you don't get many updates out of me. I really don't know what to say most of the time. Because I feel like it is pretty obvious that I am not Ok and that my heart is broken and we struggle to get through everyday and I don't see that changing anytime soon, so I don't want to be repetive and run it in the ground.
Until next time
Kyla
Mother of an Angel

Saturday, June 2, 2007 4:04 PM CDT

I feel as thought my journal entry was so short and not really saying what I feel. I was pressed for time yesterday, but really felt like I needed to update something. It is pretty much the same old thing around here day to day, work, bills, tears, feeling lost, a few laughs from time to time. Nothing of signifigance to talk about. I still pray every night that Logan will come to me in my dreams, but he has not yet, at least not where I remember it when I wake up. My friend Jaime who was killed in the car wreck last year did though this week. It was a wonderful dream. I was so glad I remembered it when I woke up. Her girls are on their way over to spend the night with me and Brandon tonight. I hope the littlest one will stay. She has not before, so I am afraid she will not want to. Skylar the oldes one has stayed a lot and is very close to me, but Jaylyn was only 1 when Jaime died and we had not had much time together up to that point. Anyway they will keep me on my toes tonight I am sure.
I did get a wonderful surprise gift from an Angel yesterday... Thanks you for my beautiful bracelets Sandy. You are so thoughtful!!!!!
I am feeling a little better today, but my allergies are still really bad, we need rain bad like so many other places. I guess this entry is a little better, I hate to just ramble for the sake of rambling.

Brandon is doing better, thank you for all your prayers!
Thank you for continueing to come here and sign the GB and check on us it means alot.
Kyla
Mother of an Angel

Friday, June 1, 2007 10:48 AM CDT

Another long over due journal entry...
All is Ok here. I went to Florida for a few days with a dear freind and had a restful and good time with here and her dear grammy. Thanks Grammy for letting us stay with you and taking such good care fo us!!!

We went to the Memorial Day mass at the cemetery Monday the altar is a few yards from Logan's place.
I have been sick all week with a sinus infection and bronchitis. can't seem to kick it even with antibiotics.
I still miss him like crazy that is all I can say.
Until next time,
Kyla
Mother of an Angel

Saturday, May 12, 2007 4:38 PM CDT

Hello,
Sorry so long since I last journaled.
I don't know what to say.
Alot has been going on around here some good some not so good.
The last few weeks has been really hard on Brandon and therfore really hard on me as well. I have been trying to help him as much as I can, but he needs you prayers desperately as he tries to find his place in this world and his purpose as I do too. I believe it has had a somewhat "delayed" reaction with Logan's service bringing it on full swing. Please, please, please keep him close in your prayers and ask God to Shepherd him and that Brandon will hear him and turn to him and not run away from him.
I am really not looking forward to Tomorrow. It seems as though I have been smacked in the face with Mothers Day all week. I know this will pass as all things do, but I am not sure that this Holiday or several others will ever not feel like a punch in the stomach to me. My Mom is very understanding and is not making a big deal out of the day. We are just going to church and out to eat. I told her and Brandon I was Boycotting (sp?) Mother's Day. Last year Logan's Home health Aid that came four hours a week had him make me a card. It is the only one I have that anyone ever helped him make me for me for Mother's Day. She traced his little hand on the card and wrote Happy Mother's Day Mom, I Love you and he signed it in his little scribble. Every time I look at that card or think about it i know it is the last one I will ever get from him. If I had only known that then. It is in a special place and i look at it from time to time, but like now it always makes me cry so hard because I miss him so much. I just miss how he feels in my arms, how he sounds. how he smells, his kisses, his hugs,
It hurts so much I don't think the pain will ever ease. That is all I can say.
Until next time
Kyla
Mother of an Angel

Sunday, April 29, 2007 9:36 PM CDT

Things went very smooth yesterday and I was so grateful for the beautiful weather.
All of our friends and family that could come were there and the service was very nice. I was able to sing with a steady voice and was happy to accomplish that in a way that would make Logan proud. I sang a version of Jesus Loves Me. It was all the same words just a different melody. It was more of a gospel melody. I sang it to him everyday at some point during our many hours in the rocking chair or in the hospital. I had many standard songs that had to be sung during those times. I thought it was the most appropriate. We sang two church hymns and per Brandon's request my Uncle sang "Go Rest High on that Mountain" My sister, Aunt and I sang harmony.
It was emotional but in a different way than the funeral. It was like an ending to this chapter, now I do not feel like I am in limbo. He is where he is supposed to be I am I glad. It was still very tearful and sad, but also peaceful to have his memorial place of rest complete and him there. Thank you to all of our AMAZING friends and family who have stood steadfast by our side from day one. Never wavering or stepping back. You all mean so much to Brandon and I. We could have never made it with out you. You are all so fiercely protective and attentive to us and we Love you so much. We only hope we can offer you the same friendship in your times of need as you have always done for us. You are all truly awesome individuals.
Kyla
Mother of an Angel

Saturday, April 28, 2007 2:00 PM CDT

First you must excuse me for all of the typo's in my last entry. I try to type fast and sometimes get ahead of myself and do not go back and read it when I am in a hurry.

TODAY IS THE DAY!!!!!!!!!!
The service was moved to 3:30 pm and I am nervously awaiting the time to leave. I have been very nervous all day. I am not sure if it is one thing or the whole thing in general. I want to sing a song that I always sang to Logan when the service starts. It is short, but it is making me nervous. Also because I do not know what to expect either.
I have been praying for calming peace today and it is coming only slower than I hoped. Thank you for all of your support and prayers. I expect today to be no different if not worse than the day of the funeral. At the time of it our emotions were so drained and we were still so much in shock I think it was a little numbing for all of us that day. Today we have had time to settle in to this and it is somewhat like a wound slowly beginning to scab and today we will rip the scab away. I hope that I can hold my head high and smile knowing that Logan is already at peace and is so happy and free and that I can just be proud of the memorial we have created for him and hope he is proud too. also have some closer that he is now going to be where he is supposed to be, not in limbo anymore. That is how a dear friend told me to look at it and I am going to try very hard.
Love to all
Kyla
Mother of an Angel

Monday, April 23, 2007 7:10 PM CDT

We got home late last night from the trip.
All went well and we did relax and enjoyed ourselves and the islands.
We were ready to come home on day 6. Too many days at sea!!!!
When we stepped off of the boat our cell rang, it was my sister. Calling to tell us that her husbands father(son of th grnada who was hit by the train) has a massive heart attack on Wed and passed away. He was very young and it was very unexpected. He was in good health. The funeral was today and I attended. It was very sad.
Thanks for all the compliments on the mauseleum. It is much prettier in person. I will rty to post a digital pitcture of the whole thing on the jouranl entries soon.
We are trying to plan the service for his transition for Saturday the 28th at 11:00am We re still not certain about everyone's schedule yet we are still working on that.
I am nervous about it, I am not sure what to expect or how this will make me feel. It is the last step in this process and I am feeling that very strong.
I will post when I have certain plans for Saturday
Kyla
Mother of an Angel

Friday, April 13, 2007 1:25 PM CDT

With the help of Nicki and Melissa I have posted a picture of the front panel of the Mauselium.
I am Nicki's right now getting in some Isaiah time before I leave and my Mom just called and said that she had stopped by the cemetery and that the mauselium was in place. I knew that it was a possibility that it would be there today, but thought it would probably be next week before it was ready. I am anxious to go there as soon as we leave here when Jessi comes( nicki's sister). I am sad that we are leaving Sunday and he will not be moved into his final place. I am also nervous about seeing it in place for the first time also. Mom sadi it was more beautiful than we imagined. I am sure it is!!
We will have a formal ceremony after we get back with family and friends and anyone else that wants to be there to move him from the temporary mauselium to his.
Brandon and I are both very ready to go out of town for a while. We are very aware of "why" we are getting to go and that makes it hard, but we need to go and we are ready to go and we are looking forward to it.
I will most likely be packing most of tomorrow and we are going out to eat with friends tonight and tomorrow night. I will update if I can.
Thanks for all your prayers and entries.
Kyla
Mother of an Angel

Sunday, April 8, 2007 8:38 PM CDT

Hello Everyone,

I hope everyone had a blessed Easter today. The day was more emotional for Brandon and I then I think either of us expected. We got through it though with a wonderful church service today that could not have been any more perfect for us and so many. Also by being with my family and close friends. The celebration and recognition of Easter Sunday has never been more powerful to me then it has been this year. To know that by this very celebration of the sacrifice that Jesus and God made for us is the very reason that I can look forward to being reunited with my Angel baby and know that for those of us who believe true "death" will never come to us. We will always be alive with God! It was very emotionally impacting for me this year. I have never been so grateful in all my life for Jesus and God and what they have given to us and done for us and are still doing, Also for the Love that is given to us.

On a somewhat of the same note, those of you who keep up with Mr. Isaiah are happy to know that his mommy did so well during her surgery. What mighty things God has done for them. Although no one can ever understand why these thigs happen and seem to be magnified in one family, but we are grateful that she is better and things went so well.
Isaiah did great Friday, with me and Carolina. Carolina is still here and will go back to Nashville tomorrow. I have started working a few days aweek in the office of the company I work for doing exams. So I will be working tomorrow.
I will also be busy this week getting everything done so we can leave next Sunday for our cruise. I am very ready at this point to get out of town for awhile and relax. We are so grateful to Brandon's work BGMU for making this possible for us!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I will update when I can
Thanks for still reading and caring and praying!!!
Please sign the GB if you want

Tuesday, March 27, 2007 1:09 PM CDT

So sorry for not updating sooner on the events from my last update.
Nicki is home for those of you who have not read Isaiah’s site.
She will go back April 6th for the procedure to fix the hole in her heart at Vanderbilt. It will be similar to a heart cath procedure from what I understand. Thank the Lord it is not open heart. For all the complications but also for the fact that she would not be able to pick Isaiah up for several months.
My friend Natalie’s grandmother passed at 10:35 am last Wed at Vanderbilt from the severe pancreatitis. Please keep them in your prayers.

More news. I found out yesterday that my older sister who is 28 and her husband are expecting their first child. She is only about 4 weeks along. The family is very excited and happy for them. She went to her first Dr.’s appt yesterday to make sure everything was OK.
Today I got horrible news that Kelli’s (my sister) husband’s grandfather who he was very close to was hit by a train this morning and killed. He evidently thought the train had stopped since it was traveling at a low speed of about 35mph and crossed the track in front of it. Right now they are trying to make arrangements and I will go to Franklin KY tomorrow where they live to help in any way.
So please keep them in your prayers as well. This was so tragic and still very hard to believe. I feel like it is all around me and I am not sure why the balance is so thrown off right now.

I go to the cemetery everyday, but last Friday I went and pulled my car close and turned up the music to a few of his favorite songs and the ones I liked to sing to him. I sang "Do It Anyway", and "God’s Will" by Martina McBride to him and then I let him listen to Honky Tonk Badonka Donk. I can’t help it, but he loved that song and made me play it loud and I got the biggest laugh out of him singing it. So I played it for him and just smiled the whole time remembering him singing and dancing.
Friday Morning before I woke up I was hearing someone call for momma, then mommy and then I woke up and felt very disoriented. I never saw anyone in my dream or knew where it came from it was just in my mind and I was so confused for a few seconds. After I was awake and reality sunk in it was even worse. I knew that would happen I just didn’t know how bad it would feel until it did. I woke up yesterday morning and thought I was hearing him cough, but it was his dog coming down the hall way on the hardwood floor. Those moments are really hard to start the day with. I have to wake up and get out of this house as fast as I can.
Thanks for signing in the GB I do read it everyday although I do not always have words for the journal updates.
Kyla
Mother of an Angel

Tuesday, March 20, 2007 9:40 PM CDT

Good Evening,
I have had the most wonderful pleasure of being able to spend some great quality time with Mr. Isaiah today and Sunday. Unfortunately the circumstances around it were not good ones. Nicki, Isaiah's mom has been at the BG Medical Center since Saturday night. She has had small stroke. She sounds good on the phone, but she is still having effects from it. They are doing lots of test and trying to determine why this happened. Please keep her in your prayers as well as Timmy and sweet Isaiah. I will keep him tomorrow so Timmy can be with her during the scope they are running. She will be under sedation so please keep her close in your prayers tomorrow. Isaiah and I are doing fine together. He is so sweet! He is such a good boy. He is so funny too.
Also my dear friend Natalie is at Vanderbilt right now with her Grandmother. Her Granny has been suffering from severe pancreatitis for two weeks here at the Medical Center. She has been in the ICU on a ventilator and has gotten worse. Today they life flighted her to Vandi adult hospital and the Doctor and surgeon there told them that it was so severe that they were unable to do anything to help her. The surgery would not give her very good odds and no quality of life is she were to survive. Please keep them in your prayers. Natalie and her sister Erin are very close with their Granny and this is really hard on the whole family. She is only 71 and has been very healthy up until this acute onset of pancreatitis.
My friend Carolina, who I met in the Ronald McDonald room at Vanderbilt where she worked, has been here with me this week for her spring break. I have really enjoyed her company. She will be leaving tomorrow and I will miss her, but I think she will be back for Easter.
We are still taking it day to day ,hour to hour, minute by minute. We will forever. Logan is still shining his beautiful love and light straight into my heart helping me through each of those minutes. I will update when I know more about Nicki and Natalie's Granny.
Thank you for your love and prayers
Kyla
Mother of an Angel

Saturday, March 10, 2007 9:14 AM CST

I have not updated in a while because I have been trying to keep busy and I really did not know what to write in here.
I have been busy working on Logan's League and was very fortunate to have the Little Angel's Attic sale pick Logan's League as this years "Heaven Sent" recipient. They raised a little over $1,000 for Logan's League. We already met with our first family and we instantly fell in love with them and thier beautiful little girl.We were so glad to be able to help them.
I am already in contact with another family that Logan's League is going to help. I was not sure if I was ready for this so soon, but Logan was not going to let me sit on the idea for too long. The recognition from the annual Little Angels Attic consignment sale was so overwhelming. There were three articles in the paper last week and Logan's picture was everywhere explaining the organization. The local news did several pieces on it as well. That was my sign that it was going to be well suported by the community and that it was what God and Logan wanted me to do and they were ready for me to do it sooner than later. So that is going to be my focus now and I am working this week to get the paperwork to name it a non-profit so people can get a tax break for the donations they make.

We are hoping to have the mauselium done by the first or second week in April. I am really ready for him to be in his final resting place. We are limited on what we can take out to the cemetery in the location of the temporary mauselium.
I am still trying to take it minute by minute, hour by hour. Somedays I feel his spirit all around me and all I can do is smile and sing and feel overwhelming joy. Then somedays, like yesterday, I can not shake the overwhelming feeling of loss and misplacement. I feel like I am misplaced in this world and do not know where to go from here or even if I want to. His room is still exactly the same and I leave the door open and walk by several times a day and most times I can glance in and things look just the way they are supposed to, that is his room and I want to keep it that way.
Other times I look in and I am flooded with unbearable pain and abscense. All of these things are his and he will never touch them again and I really do not know what to do. The thought of boxing them up to me right now makes me panick. I really do not know what to do. So for now I am just going to keep it exactly the same.
Brandon is keeping most things to himself and sometimes it worries me, but I know that he has always been quite and more private about things. We are trying to spend more time with each other even if it is just running errands. I talk about things with him, mostly when I have had a good moment and funny Logan story. He shares those with me also.
Well that's what has been going on with me the last two weeks. I am also working some, still doing the medical exams for life insurance companies. Thanks for continueing to keep up with us and pray for us. it is greatly appreciated and I come to his guestbook everyday to get encouragement and help for the day with the thigs that you all post. Thank you for taking the time to say such nice things to me.
I will post again, hopefully sooner than last time.
Kyla
Mother of an Angel

Saturday, February 24, 2007 3:27 PM CST

Today is rainy and nasty out now.
I went to visit Isaiah and Nicki today and my Mom went with me. I had gone on Thursday to visit them and I helped Timmy change the bandages around the skin graphs on his hands. They have to be changed everyday and it is not a one man show so I went today because Timmy is on a 24 hour shift at the fire dept. Nicki held Isaiah and mom handed me supplies and we got the bandages changed successfully. We also did his trach change while I was there and now I know how to do that if it is necessary. I enjoyed spending time with Nicki and holding Isaiah.
I went to the cemetery when we got back and Logan's best friend Kailey has left a beautiful little picture she drew hanging up on the front of the temp. mausoleum and a colorful windmill and teddy bear. They looked very pretty out there and it made me smile. Sarah, Kailey's mom, was concerned about how she was handling this at first. She was angry and she is only five. She refused to talk about anything, and then one sunny day about three weeks ago her and her mom were driving down the road and Kailey started giggling and laughing at nothing. Sarah looked in the back seat and said "what are you laughing about?" and Kailey said "Logan's eating ice cream right now in heaven, he said he can eat ice cream whenever he wants and he can even eat the clouds if he wants to. My heart melted when Sarah told me this. Ever since then Kailey talks about Logan allot and they go visit him frequently. She sings "Jesus and Logan Love me this I know" I feel with my whole heart that Logan showed her those things so she would not be mad anymore and she could be happy for him. One of the things that made it even more beautiful for me was that Logan loved ice cream but could not eat it often due to his milk intolerance. Now he can eat it all the time if he wants. I hold onto things like that and they make me feel comforted and give me peace at the freedom and joy he now has. I miss him so much I think it would hurt less to have every bone in my body broken with a sledge hammer. I know that is graphic, but it is true. I just have to remind myself that first he is so happy and being so loved and free to run and do so much that was not possible for him with his sickness. and second he was an Angel first, only a gift, never mine to keep. It does not always help, but more times than not it eases the pain some.
They have started working on the design for the mausoleum and hopefully it will not take as long as they project to get it done. They are laser etching two pictures, one of him and one of the three of us and also a beautiful picture of Jesus surrounded by clouds holding a small boy on his lap. Several other engraving as well. Thanks you for checking in. I know it is hard to find words to put in the guestbook always, but it is nice to know when you stop by. Your love and support means so much.
Kyla

Tuesday, February 20, 2007 5:48 PM CST

I found this story and cried so hard as I read it and thought that it had been written for me and Logan. It could not be more beautiful and perfect and true. O how I hope that it is true.

Logan had the longest eyelashes of anyone I knew, Golden hair,round chuby cheeks, he was so very loving and sweet and was the first child and grandchild, also great grandchild, nephew and the list could go on. He was actually the only one for the most part. So you can see how fitting this is for him.

Once in a village in a faraway place, a child was born.



He was unlike any other child. He was special. Of course all babies are special, but this child was different. He was really an angel in disguise. His golden hair, long curly dark eyelashes, cherubic cheeks, and sweetness were the only telltale signs that could possibly give away his disguise.



This angel was full of courage, as most angels who come to earth. Shortly before the cherub's birth, God gathered all the angels and held an important meeting in heaven. "My beloved angels," He said, "how I love each of you for the joy you bring! Soon there is to be born on earth a special child. He will be different from the other children in the things he will be able to do. I need the bravest of all My cherubs to bring healing. You will be born in this special earthly body. It will not work in the same way as most do. Although you'll have loving parents, life will not be easy. Soon after your birth, they will know your time on earth will be brief."



The cherubs started jumping up and down, waving their hands, hoping to be chosen! An angel's purpose is to spread love, joy, hope, and healing. Each knows it is a great privilege to do God's work.



God looked among His angels and noticed one whose halo shone brighter than all the rest. "Little Angel with the Golden Glow," He announced, " I choose you to be born unto this earthly home. Your light is so bright it can penetrate even the deepest sadness and change it into love. It is you, blessed angel, who shall do My work on earth. The angel was thrilled! How he had hoped he would be chosen! He would work with all his might to bring healing into his new home.



All the angels gathered around their friend to say goodbye. They would miss him. Yet they knew it was a great honor to be chosen for this wonderful journey. One cherub, the Angel with the Tender Heart, was especially sad. He cried because the Angel with the Golden Glow was his best friend. What would he do without him? Sensing his friend's dispair, The Angel with the Golden Glow hugged him close. As he did this, his halo shone so much light that his friend's sadness soon lifted. "Don't be sad. This is the greatest day of my life. I'm off to share my love with the world. Remember I'll always love you...whether we are together or apart....one from the other. One day you too will be chosen, and you will understand."



When the Angel with the Golden Glow was finally ready, he was born into the chosen home. There was great celebration for he was the family's first child and first grandchild. His mom and dad and the entire family were ectastic.



The story continues that the Angel with the Golden Glow quickly becomes sick and it is known to the family that the child would not survive. However, sadness was difficult to achieve around the angel because of the beautiful, love, and happiness he let shine each day. Most of all, the angel brought love to this earth family. Sadly for the family, the angel returns to Heaven. Returning to Heaven, he was sad because he missed his family on Earth, yet happy to reunite with his best friend, the Angel with the Tender Heart. The story continues with the Angel with the Tender Heart proclaiming,



"I missed you so much. Yet our time together in heaven will be short. I have the most amazing news! God has chosen ME to be born into the same family. There is still much healing that needs to be done. Just think! We will be earthly brothers as well as heavenly brothers! This is surely the greatest honor of my life!" The Angel with the Golden Glow was happy for his friend's wonderful opportunity. There wasn't anyone in all of heaven he would rather send to his earth family than his dearest friend. Yet he would miss him..........



The last page...



As the Angel with the Tender Heart was leaving, he said, "I love you, dear friend. I promise to take tender loving care of all those you love on earth. Don't be sad....for there will be a day when we will be together again. And remember, as you wisely taught me, I'll always love you....whether we are together or apart....one from the other
By Elissa Al-Chokhacy

Thursday, February 15, 2007 10:14 PM CST

Today has been a very difficult day.
Today is the 15th and it marks the one month anniversary of Logan going safely into the arms of Jesus. I have been thinking about this day all week and how it would feel. It was a lot like all the other days, but it just so happened to be the day that the monument company could meet with me to design the mausoleum. That was very difficult to see the dates in stone and his name and everything, but I still felt like I had a sense of purpose working on making things perfect for him. I don't get to do things for him anymore so that was something I could do to honor him and make it beautiful. It was still difficult. Brandon although did not have an experience like that, he got the call to come to the funeral home to sign papers and pick up the death certificates. He took that very hard and has been asleep for several hours because of the emotional toll it took on him. So often it feels like we are still in a bad dream, then the reality hits that this is not reversible. This is the way things are going to be forever. I tortured myself last night and watched home movies, I just needed to hear his voice and see him walking around. It was hard, but they are priceless and I needed to have the memory jog of funny moments and cute things he said and did. After a flood of endless tears, I felt cleansed for a little while and was able to fall asleep and have a little peace in my heart. I just keep telling myself that I can’t change what has happened, it is not fixable and that I have to keep going and try desperately to seek God’s plan for me. I am still not sure what it is yet. I want to know what it is that I am supposed to do with this experience. I need to feel purpose again. I don’t have other children that depend on me to care for them, I don’t have a full time job that requires my time and attention, so I need to have purpose. I know I am meant to do something, but I just have not been able to get clear direction.
Thank you for all your love and support,
Kyla
Mother of an Angel

Thursday, February 8, 2007 10:13 PM CST

Today was a somewhat difficult day.
It is my birthday. I am 27 today it feels so sad to be turning another year older when Logan will not. I have not upsessed over that today, but it had constantly been in the back of my mind. I had a good day so to speak and am glad that so many people care and want to celebrate my birthday with me. We went to dinner with family and friends and it was nice, just not in the festive mood. I am very tired and am not sure if it is grief that is causing it or just everything catching up with me from so many years with out real sleep.
I will be going with my Dad tomorrow to take Thorston (my German brother) to the airport. I am so glad that he was here this week to share all of these feeling with. It was very nice to have him around, we watched movies and ran errands together and just hung out and talked. I love him very much and realize how much I miss him during these long spans between our visits. I feel blessed to have him in my life. I asked him if God whispered in his ear that I needed him and he said he thought so. He has a wife and a five year old son at home (one month older than Logan) and I know he misses them terribly. Please pray for his safe travel home tomorrow. It will be a long flight. Also Please keep Isaiah in your prayers. He will be having another surgery Monday to seperate his fingers and Nicki his mother is becoming very nervous and needs the extra prayers to help comfort her. This is always so scary each time a surgery approaches.
Brandon's Mom is in a rehab center to help buld her strength before she is sent home. Thank you for your prayers and concerns for her as well.
Thank you for your continues support and prayers, they are much needed and appreciated.
Kyla
Mother of an angel

Monday, February 5, 2007 8:51 PM CST

This is what I wrote and read at Logan's celebration of life. (I don't like the word funeral and Logan in the same sentence)

A Mother’s tribute to Her Son
By Kyla Byard

Where do I begin?

Logan was the Joy of our lives. We knew at the time of my 23 week ultrasound that Logan would be a “gift” that may or may not be ours to keep.
I prayed so many times for God to give Brandon and I the chance to take care of Logan here on this earth and to trust in us to care for him in the way that he would.
I have always known that our time with Logan would most likely be limited. Many times, when his health would improve, my hopes would grow greater that our time with him here would be extended. Logan brought so much joy to our lives and to the lives of many. Many I will never know! He taught me how to be a better person. He taught me how to love and to give everything I have with my whole heart. I would have been so grateful to have lived the rest of my life caring for Logan and living my life SOLELY to take care of him!
I feel so privileged to have been chosen to take care of an angel on earth. He taught people compassion. He brought grown men to their knees in prayer, when they had never prayed before.
In five short, but joyous years, Logan accomplished more good in his life than most of us do in 100 years. He brought so many people together in prayer, and he showed people what it REALLY meant to be brave. Logan taught me to never take anything for granted. Everything for Logan was a major accomplishment. He taught me how to appreciate and adore every word of his, every footstep, every smile. Logan’s sickness gave me a different perspective that a lot of parents are not given. Every accomplishment he made were treasured moments and gifts from God and they were magnified beyond description for me, Brandon and our family. Because of his obstacles I was able to love our child and appreciate him on a much larger scale.
My heart is agonizing over the fact that I will never get to hold him here on earth, or rock him, or sing to him, or hear his funny little comments. But my heart feels whole knowing that now his body is whole. That it no longer hurts for him to run or play or breathe. And he does not have to be stuck, poked or cut on anymore. I am not sad for Logan, I am sad for me! I am sad for Brandon and all of those who loved him so deeply. My days were filled doing what I loved most, and that was taking care of Logan. And believe me, he kept me BUSY! I know that I will now have to find new ways to fill my days, and I am sure I will need your help at times.
I am just so thankful that Logan gave me and Brandon that best five years of our lives. And I hope that I can continue on his legacy of faith, Hope, and Miracles. He brought hundreds, no thousands of people into our lives and we always thought it was to love and support him, but we now know that he brought all of you to us because he knew we would need you when he had to leave us to go to his Perfect Home.
Thank you for loving him, Thank you for loving us. Your dedication and devotion to us is overwhelming and this is what will get us through.
Logan was our hero….. And he will ALWAYS BE! We will use his perfect and pure life as a guideline on how to live out the rest of ours, I hope you can all do the same.
Let’s honor Logan, by making this world a better place. We have been shown time and time again, that the goodness in people far outweigh the bad.
Most people wait a lifetime to witness a miracle, and we ALL have been so privileged to have lived with one for five years.
Logan we LOVE YOU. You will always be our little angel and our most treasured gift from God. Fly high little one FLY HIGH!!!!

Mommy

This is Brandon's
A Tribute to My Son, Logan

By Brandon Byard

I am here today to remember and to thank a very special little man,
Logan Thomas Byard. My son and my buddy.
He brought so many special moments to me and his Mom. He
made us laugh and he made us cry. He brought five beautiful years to
our lives. He always loved everyone and loved to make people laugh
and smile. He was indeed a ‘people person’. The more people around,
the happier he was.

Logan touched a lot of lives. He was a brave and determined little
man. He never let anything get him down. As you know, we are saying
our good-byes today. Me and Kyla couldn’t have made it the last five
years without our family that has been through it all with us, and our
friends that gave more support than they will ever be able to be thanked
for.

I would like to take this time to thank his Mom for always doing
what she had to for him. Logan, as you all know, had the best Mom a
little boy could ever have. And he loves YOU Kyla! ALWAYS!!!
I have one more thing I’d like to share. The last couple of years
Logan wanted to go everywhere I went. We would go check on the
cows and feed and work on the farm together. Every time I would get
stressed out or throw something in anger, Logan would say: "Dad, it
will be ok." He was right. I would be ok. I just hope this time he is
right.

Logan you have been and will always be special in my heart and
soul. I will miss you more than you or any person in this building will
ever know. Logan, please help take care of me through this journey of
life, and I’ll try to be half as strong as you were.

I love you always,

Dad

Sunday, February 4, 2007 1:31 AM CST

Update on Brandon's mom.
She is in ICU and stable. She is in a great deal of pain and they said her recovery time would be very long. So she does have five broken ribs and a punctured lung. The chest tube is in for now but I do not know how long they will keep it in. She has a contusion to the left lower lobe so they are draining the blood that has pooled in there now. They said that she would be at a very high risk for pnuemonia. They have kept her on heavy pain medication and she was resting when I went to see her.
Brandon and I are very thankful that she is doing as well as she is especially after we heard what the car looked like. I do not know the condition of the man that was life flighted at this time.

We had a very pleasant surprise this morning though inspite of all that was going on. A very special visitor arrived unannounced all the way from Germany.
When I was 8 years old we had a German exchange student live with us for a year he was 18 at the time, and we became very close with him ans his family and have tried to visit when possible. He came to visit in May of 2002 to meet Logan and before that, it had been 10 years since we had seen him. Today he showed up after walking 10 miles from the bus station to surprise us so he could spend time with us. He has been in the constant loop of all that has gone on with Logan and he decided he needed to find a way to get here. It took him over 20 hours to get here. I am so glad he is here, it is a healthy distraction and it means alot that he went through so much to get to us. He is like the big brother I never had. I will let you all know how Brandon's mom is doing as we know more. Thank you for your continued prayers and support. We are all still trying to find our way. Alot of times I have to remind myself that this really happened. Logan is staying close to me though. I feel his comfort as well as God's loving arms. I feel Logan everywhere I go and that is peaceful, he seems to hug me close when I am about to tip over the edge, or my mind wonders too far. Thank you again for loving us.
Kyla
Mother of an Angel

Friday, February 2, 2007 9:04 PM CST

Today has been a very long a trying day.
I recieved a phone call around 10:30 am from a friend of the family telling me that she thought Brandon's mom might be hurt. She had been on the phone with her when she heard her say "Oh No" and dropped the phone and all that came next were cries for help and someone asking where she was hurt. That started our search for her. No one knew where she was or had been going and the hospitals did not have her listed. we had no idea what was going on. This went on for an hour. Through a faithful phone chain someone found out that she had just been brought to the Medical Center and could not tell us anymore. Brandon arrived first and told me he would call me when he knew more. I had such a feeling of fear and dread. I did not want to go to that hospital. Not now, not ever. Too many memeories and unpleasant moments there. I knew that for my husbands sake I had to suck it up and go be there for him. On the way there my uncle called and said he had heard that she had been involved in car accident. There had been a fatality and someone had been life flighted. I was about to come unraveled. My mom took me to the hospital and we found her stable, but very banged up. The driver of the other car was killed and the passanger was life flighted to Louisville. Still do not know the complete details of the accident, but the State police said it did not look like it was her fault. We just left the hospital a little while ago after the test they had only found two fractured ribs. They told us she had avery special angel watching her and we told them we aready knew that, his name is Logan.
I just got a call from Ken her boyfriend and he said they had found three more fractured ribs and a large cut in the back of her head the required 8 staples. Also a puntured lung. They are placing a chest tube now and we are going back up there. Please pray for her, not only for her healing, but her understanding of God's power. Also the other men, I am not sure of their story, but they were driving on a suspended liscence and a few other things. Their families need your prayers.
We are somewhat shell shocked and are trying to be there for her in whatever way we can. Brandon is an only child and she is his only parent that he has constant contact with.
I have found that what does not kill you, God wil find a way for it to make you stronger. Thank you
Kyla
Mother of an Angel

Sunday, January 28, 2007 6:51 PM CST

This week I have felt so out of place.
I have spent most all of my time at my parents house just needing to be there because it feels safe and there is always someone there. They operate the business out of their home so they are home a good part of the day
Brandon has been busy on the family farm tending to the cattle that have been left unattended for so long. He had 71 steers to take to the stock yard (sale barn) today. I know it is what he needs to keep going. It is something he loved and he loves being out doors and can not stand to sit or be idle. I on the other hand JUST want to be idle. I do not feel like going to the store or out. I did go to church this morning with my sister and that was fine, but that church has been part of my life for 27 years, well almost my birthday is the 8th of Feb., so then it will be 27 years, so I did not feel out of place.
I have been very confused this week feeling so out of sorts and lost. For over 5 years I have been a mother and one that had a lot of responsibility 24 hours a day. I am still a mother, but that daily responsibility that sometimes drove me insane, like calling the home health company daily or insurance battles and Dr.’s appointments and the scheduling, all that has stopped. Logan had a very demanding schedule also with medications and his spells of sickness from one minute to the next. It is very hard for me to not have that daily drive and need for me to be on top of things. So I feel a little lost as what to do with my days.
I have spent most of them talking to my family about how I am feeling and reflecting back on the joyous moments that Logan brought to our life every day. It is hard to believe that this is actually taking place. I feel as though I have been watching a movie of someone else’s life for 5 years and now I am talking about it.
So many people have asked how I am doing and I they want to know how I am handling things and most of them say they can’t imagine what we are going through.
There is no easy way to answer the question so I can only tell you that it is somewhat different from someone who wakes up one day and their child is gone for an unknown reason or an accident. Not that it hurts any less by no means, but I have grieved for over five years for the unknown. We were always told that they had no idea how Logan would do , it has always been 50/50 either way. We were never given a time frame or what to expect, it has always been such an uncertainty. When the doctors used the term rollercoaster they could not have been more right. It was up and down and that could be month to month or hour to hour we never knew.
I feel so blessed to have had five years 3 months and 26 days. Because I could have very easily had only one day. To me that would be something I would never get over, not knowing my own child or what he loved or his personality. I have so many memories and I am truly thankful as well as heartbroken.
All Brandon and I ever wanted was to protect Logan and keep him safe, we could not do that, as hard as we tried. His illness, viruses, and all of the surgeries and needle sticks and medications were always there and we were terrified of them all the time. We lived in constant fear of his safety. We knew that it could be devastating at any moment.
I feel some peace, actually a lot of peace and thankfulness that God is keeping Logan safe from all of the things that I could not keep him from here on this earth. As mothers we learn we can’t be selfish with our children or with what they may need from us. So now as a mother I can not be selfish and want for Logan what he has had to endure for so long just so I could be with him. He is safe and happy and he knows my love for him. That is all I wanted for him. I wanted to be the one to take care of him, but God could not keep him safe here. He could not heal his body here and it was only getting worse for him daily. That breaks my heart to know and recall all of the hideous things he had to go through, but when the tears start to flow like they are now I remind myself that those things will never happen again and he is being rewarded with happiness beyond measure and love and he still knows of my endless love for him and I can feel him taking care of my heart.
So that is all I can say about how I am doing, my tears flow daily, but I also feel a sense of relief for Logan because he should never have had to endure such pain on this earth and he should have gotten to be a little boy and now he can. That is much harder for me to type then it may seem, but I know it is the truth and all I can do now is know he is all around me and one day I will be with him and that gives me comfort.
That is all for tonight, but I will try and post Brandon’s and my tribute as soon as I remember to get them from my mom’s house where most everything is still.
Thanks for reading and signing in. This is truly a wonderful support system, because so many can really say that they understand.
Kyla
Mother of an Angel

Wednesday, January 24, 2007 10:26 PM CST

I have read all of the entries tonight complimenting the photo's and slide show, but I can not take credit in doing them. All I did was provide the pictures and the love and Nicki (Isaiah's mom) and my dear friend Melissa Devries did the rest. Melissa did the collage and Nicki posted them and did the slide show. I have not been very focused and could not do this on my own, but as usual my AMAZING friends came to the rescue. Nicki does not have much free time nor Melissa. They have been, as all of my friends very devoted and there when I need them. So I have to thank them for helping me do what I could not, but wanted so badly to do.
All of MY family and our friends have been so amazing. I felt like I was being protected not only by God and Logan but my very own fleet of Guardian Angels! I am so thankful to have formed such strong and lasting bonds with so many wonderful people. To name a few because I need them to know how MUCH their love and support means to us. You all know what you did for us ,Thank you Kristen and Jack, Erin and Chris, Natalie and Shawn, Dusty and Jessica, Nicki and Tim, Melissa Devries, Ron and Tina, My God parents Bonnie and Jack and Martha Sue and Donnie, Kristen, Jason and Christie, Carolina , Corbin and Eddie for driving the tractor and everyone else who spent hours cleaning the tractor to make it so shiny, Buddy and Ryan White for going the distance and riding all the way from the church to the cemetery on horse back, and the list could go on and on. All of you that sign in diligently, and so many more that I do not have room to name. I do need to thank my brother in law, Corey, who spent countless hours making the most perfect slide show of Logan for the visitation and the family. it included over 60 pictures and music that would not all fit on here, but we may expand it after a while. Thank you also to my wonderful Aunt and Uncle Roy and Karen who had the courage and strength to read the Scripture reading I picked and to Jack who was able to read Brandon's tribute to Logan for him. And my other Aunts and Uncles for giving your undivided time and attention along with my Grandparents and the rest if my family.
While I am at it, I do need to say a special thanks to my Father for putting together the most beautiful Mass of Christian Burial that there has ever been in our church. I know it was hard for you Dad, but as usual you never let me down and I am so proud of what you do and what you can do. Thank you for having Logan named on Honorary soldier of your division and the for having the soldier come from Atlanta GA to present me with the American Flag. That was a true honor!!
I am so proud of my whole family, Brandon, my Mom and my sister her husband and my brother, We all have been so heartbroken but we find strength in each other and we made Logan's Celebration of Life fit for a King, and a King he was. I know that singing was hard for all of us, but it is what we do and what better way for us to honor Logan then to sing to him and we ALL know how much he loved it.
I did not mean for this to get so long, but I could never thank ALL of those who helped even down to the florist who is a dear friend and did a fantastic job! To all the I failed to mention, but know what you did, please know how thankful I am for EVERYTHING that made this such a memory of pride and honor for my sweet boy. Thank you Thank you.
There are so many details that I can not put them all in one entry. Thanks for reading
Love, Kyla
Mother of an Angel

Sunday, January 21, 2007 4:58 PM CST

I have just now sat and read through all of the guestbook entries and I want to thank all of you who have signed in. Your words are comforting and I really appreciate them.
I am still feeling very sick to my stomach and heartbroken, but I would like to tell you how very beautiful the ceremony was yesterday.
The church doors were spilling over, there were so many people there. The music was beautiful thanks to my my Dad, as well as the words of celebration of his perfect and pure life. I will copy the tributes that Brandon and I wrote about Logan a little later.
We had a wonderful Choir from a local church that I requested sing "Oh Happy Day" I was able to get up and read my tribute only through the courage that I draw from Logan. As we exited the church there were two Marines standing at attention. In the procession to the cemetery in order there were 3 State Police, one city police two DOT police cars then a marine in his dress blues on a motercycle with two flags flowing from the back. Between the hurse and the limo was a 9000 serious John Deer tractor drove by two very close friends, it is one of the biggest they make. On the back there was a sign that read "Logan your our Hero" the BGMU crew (where Brandon works) it was in john deer green and yellow.
Behind the family in the limo there were two perfectly matching spotted horses ridden by two close friends not in the walking horse association as they could not come through for us. Buddy and Ryan White rode all the way from the church to the cemetery with pride and honor. The procession was so long they had two more Sate Police blocking off the road. They shut down a major intersection. the funeral director said they had never had a procession like this and that it was probably second largest in Bowling Green. BG is not that small either, and they are the number one funeral home. The sun was so bright you could not look into the sky. We released ballons and they headed straight for the sun. The rays were so intense you could not look up. It was so beautiful, like the balloons knew where they were supposed to go, and God had his arms wide open for them with Logan at his side. I chose to have Logan placed in an above ground mosilieum (sp) made of marble. I could not stand the thought of having him burried. Ours has not yet been completed so he was placed in a temporary one that our church has until we get it finished the way we want it. Yesterday I felt so much pride in the send off we gave him and the people who came to be a part of it also relief for Logan not to have to be in any pain and have to endure so much. He could be a boy and run and play. Today I still feel that for him, but I am truly broken and missing him and wanting to touch him and kiss him and hear his voice or his footsteps down the hall. God is truly protecting me or I could not even sit here and type this. I am just scared to go throught the next phases of grief, the ones I have seen are already unbearable.
I will sign back in when I can.
thanks for being there!
Kyla, Mother of an Angel

Wednesday, January 17, 2007 9:43 AM CST

Update: The funeral is at 11:00 am on Saturday.


What I updated yesterday was from a friend and she got this email from Mike, Kyla's dad, and asked me to put this one up. I am hoping to get pictures of Logan tonight so that a memorial slide show can be put up. When a final decision is made today on the time I will put that up. Thank you for your support and guestbook entries as I know they will give Kyla great comfort. Thanks- Nicki (Isaiah's mom)

Email from Kyla's Dad:

All,

Here is the schedule for the period of mourning, the funeral and burial of Logan. Many of you live a long, long way from here. Please do not feel obligated to send flowers. Your concern and outpouring of love over these last years has been enough for us . . . we knew that you sincerely cared and we are so blessed to have you as friends. I have printed out all of your beautiful emails of condolence and they will be put in a book of memories. Do know that you have been included.

We are establishing a fund entitled "Logan's League", at any branch of Franklin Bank & Trust. This money will be used to help other families who are going through traumatic periods with a sick child, such as we experienced. Brandon and Kyla received many financial gifts that helped them so much with their expenses while staying in Nashville the many months during Logan's illnesses. It was IMMENSELY helpful to them, and they appreciated it so much! Now that our fight is over, our family wants to help others who are going through a similar process. We have seen it firsthand while being at the Children's Hospital at Vanderbilt. Believe me . . . there are families there who are desperately in need of help and they suffer beyond what many of us know about. We were much more fortunate than many others. Therefore, if you feel inclined, you may make a contribution to the fund and know it will go to this cause.

LOGAN'S FUNERAL PLANS:

Thursday, January 18:

Visitation at J. C. Kirby & Sons Funeral Chapel at 820 Lovers Lane, Bowling Green, KY 42103

Time: 3 p.m. until 9 p.m.


Friday, January 19:

Visitation at St. Joseph Catholic Church, 434 Church Street, Bowling Green, KY 42101

Time: 3 p.m. until 9 p.m.



Saturday, January 20:

Visitation at St. Joseph Catholic Church

Time: 10 a.m. until 11 a.m.

Mass of Christian Burial (funeral service)

11 a.m.

Interment in St. Joseph Cemetery,

Fairview Avenue, Bowling Green, KY



All are invited afterward to the home of Mike & Sherry Giorgio (grandparents) at 843 Hill Road,

Bowling Green, KY. Call 842-7210 if directions are needed.



There is a possibility that the Tennessee Walking Horse Association will form an honor guard of horses to lead the funeral procession to the cemetery. Logan loved horses and loved to ride. The weather is dictating if this will be a possibility. IF the group feels they can make this happen, the Funeral Mass will change to 1 p.m. I will let you know tomorrow (Wednesday) if this is going to happen.



Thank you all again for being 'with us' at this time. Logan gave us so many moments of happiness that it is impossible to explain to you the void our family currently feels. There is such an emptiness here now. We are all going about the business of making sure we have the best and most honorable funeral possible for Logan. But at times, it randomly sinks in on us that Logan's smiling face is no longer around and that we will never see him again on this Earth. This erasing him from our lives is suffocating . . .



Love to all,

Mike Giorgio

for:

Sherry

Brandon & Kyla Byard (parents)

Jonathan Giorgio (Uncle)

Corey & Kelli Gumm (Aunt and Uncle)

Kathleen Giorgio (Great-grandmother)

Jackie & Pat McCombs (Great-grandparents)

Tuesday, January 16, 2007 3:13 PM CST

Here are the arrangements for Logan. When we know the final arrangements for Saturday I will post them for Kyla. Thank you for your continued support for them.


Thursday 3-9
J C Kirby & Son Lovers Lane Chapel

Friday 3-9
St. Joseph Catholic Church

Burial 11:00
St. Joseph Catholic Church – The Burial time is still pending final arrangements at this time. Please check back for final arrangements


***Donations may be made payable to Logan’s League Foundation for families with sick children. A fund has been set up at Franklin Bank & Trust.

Monday, January 15, 2007 10:24 AM CST

This is Kyla's friend Nicki. I received this email and know Kyla is unable to update but wanted to pass this email on to all of her caringbridge friends. I hope I am not over stepping by boundaries but I feel she would want this passed along. I had her password from other update I have done for her. This is not from her but someone sending an email for her.

Email sent Monday Morning January 15th:

Iam typing this becouse at this time the doctors are letting Kyla and
Brandon hold Logan. Logan was with out Oxygen for too long and his, big
loving heart to weak to pump. the echmo machine was not an option for
him. at this point we all the family and friends for Kyla and Brandon
need to pray for their strength, you all know that Kyla and Brandon
lived through and for Longan. Logan has tuched everyone's life and his
parents are going to need us now more then ever. Our litle mircle earned
his wings today and we are left to lift up his family in their time. I
have run out of words for this email all i can say is pray please.

carolina
for kyla and brandon

Monday, January 15, 2007 9:12 AM CST

Please pray, Logan has had a bad night Logan has coded 4 times, we need the powers of prayer. we cant wrap out minds around all that is happeing why its happened. please pray. He's not stable we just need God to hear our prayers.


typed by
carolina
for
kyla and brandon

Monday, January 15, 2007 3:22 AM CST

It is sometime around 3 am and Brandon and I are sitting nervously in the back of Logan's room.

Around 1am we got a phone call in the sleep room that something had happened to Logan and they wanted us to come into the pod and they said someone would meet us and tell us what was going on.

When we got here 2 seconds later they said he had had another vtach episode and this time it progressed much quicker. They said he lost pulses and blood pressure and they had to do chest compressions. He was stabilizing at the time, but not yet. They did x-rays and there was no pneumothorax which they had hoped for because it can be easily fixed and explain things. The blood work is out of balance as soon as it starts, but goes back as soon as the heart gets in rhythm. They truly can not pin point what is causing it. They did another EKG and found only the arrhythmia. Not what is causing it, This went on for what seemed like forever and I asked the Dr. on a scale of 1 to 10 how serious was this and he said for Logan it was a 9. I asked if we needed to call our family in and they said not yet. He started to become more and more stable and I asked on a scale of 1 to 10 how stable was he and they said a 5.

He started to wake up from the drugs and asked for water and for me to sing and pat his butt. I was completely amazed as they were. He was moving way too much and pulling on his tube. They had to give him fentanyl, ativan, pentobarb and finally chloral to sedate him. They already said he'll need the Betty Ford clinic when he gets out of here, I said that was OK because we could probably share a room because I will need to be there too after all of this. Right now he is asleep and he started to go back into a funky rhythm. Not as bad, but they can't figure out what changed. He has a leak in his tube and they said his Co2 keeps shooting up and that is causing acidosis and that seems to be throwing him into the arrhythmia. Brandon and I are sitting here with our stomachs in our throats, just waiting for the other shoe to fall. It feels like we are the leading characters in the scariest horror movie ever and we are constantly being chased by the crazy guy with the chain saw. I truly don't know how things will go from here. I don't know what makes this time different other than he had no time to recoup and the surgery was more extensive. That is enough but does not explain what caused his heart to react differently. Please pray as you always do with all of your might and all of your heart that Logan will triumph over this obstacle as he has all those before. We all know how strong and amazing he is, but this is alot for his body to have to take and it is showing us that.
I will let you know if there are any changes.

Kyla

Sunday, January 14, 2007 11:03 AM CST

Things have been more peaceful this afternoon. They were able to find a medicine that has kept him sedated for a while now. He is sleeping and his heart rate is normal along with BP and SAT's he is still on 100xygen and 20 of nitric. Hoping for no more incidences tonight or ever really. Thanks for you concerns and prayers.

I will update in the morning as long as things stay peaceful.

Kyla





WOW!!!

My stomach is finally out of my throat. We just had the most scary incident with Logan that we have never experienced before.

He was awake and getting his treatment. They have to bag in the treatments which he does not like at all. He was getting stressed and was in obvious pain. Our nurse gave him his pain meds and he went to sleep. We were standing over his bed talking and the monitor went off that his heart was in vtach. It was real vtach. Which means he was in arrhythmia and his heart was not firing off right and getting blood to his body. She yelled for Dr. Merick and the whole team came running in and we got pushed out. The crash cart came next and so did the cardiologist. He stayed in vtach for a good 30 minutes. We watched from a distance. They did an EKG and a transesophageal EKG where they stuck a probe down his nose to see his heart and how it was beating. His BP dropped to systolic of 60. They gave him lidocaine to try and stop the heart arrhythmia. Finally after we thought that he was in some type of serious cardiac distress it was diagnosed as a heart block due to his fever spiking to 103.5 and his distress. His heart was in a panic mode and was firing off really out of sink.

So they started a rapid cooling off with ice packs everywhere and they are giving him milrinone to help with circulation. He is stable now and his BP and SAT's are good as well as heart rhythm. They did give him albumin to help with the low BP. We are still in shock and feeling disoriented over what just happened. Our prayers were hysterical and thank God they worked. He is back up to 20 of Nitric and 100xygen. They are still having lots of trouble keeping him sedated. It would take cryptonite I think. This kid is super human. I have always known that but it becomes so much more obvious here. They are starting major antibiotics to counter act an infection. Wow that all happened in 30 minutes. I will update again if anything changes. I feel like I could pass out, laugh and cry all at the same time.

Kyla
"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power."Ephesans 6:10

Saturday, January 13, 2007 11:30 AM CST

I first must say GOD IS GOOD!!!!
Logan did amazing through the surgery. Dr. Morgan said he did as well as they could have hoped for. He looked really well last night and we were very relieved of that. One of the problem we are having is that they can't keep him sedated. He woke up five hours after surgery, when he was supposed to stay under for 24 hours with the meds they gave him. He gets really angry and frustrated as anyone would, but it causes his SAT's to drop. He got very upset this morning wanting to be held and to eat and drink and he dropped low and they had to put him on the Nitric Oxide to help relax his vessels since he was tensing up so much and clamping down.
My nerves are shot, although I am rejoicing in Gods powerful healing and love for Logan I am still very scared and I am not nearly as strong as Logan. What he needs is rest for a few days and then maybe things will be better.
My thanks pours out to you all for you dedicated, fervent prayers. The resident surgeon told me last night that she knew that we had a lot of people praying and they could feel it, because things went so much better than they could have expected. I told her we were all praying for Logan as well as everyone involved in the surgery. We knew they would need strength as well. She was grateful for that.
I will update as the day goes on.
Love and Thanks

Friday, January 12, 2007 6:02 PM CST

He is out of surgery, all went well. We can't see him until 8:00pm so we are stepping out to eat I will update later, thank you thank you thank you for all of your prayers

Friday, January 12, 2007 8:16 AM CST

They are almost done with the nissen repair. They did decide to put the mesh reinforcement on his diaphragm. He is doing well form all other standpoints. They will start the gastrostomy tube next (feeding tube in stomach) I will update after the next phone call. Thanks for continuing to pray!!



Update was that the portacath has been placed successfully. They had opened his stomach and was resecting scar tissue. The Liver was attached to the stomach so they will call me in about an hour and tell me how things are going. The nurse said Logan was doing fine also. We have alot of family here right now. I will update as soon as they call me again.

Kyla

Thanks for praying!!!






I was able to bring my laptop to the waiting room, so I will have more frequent updates. They have just got started with the portacath so they said they would call when it was done.
He was doing fine at the time


They are here getting ready to take him down, I feel peace and fear all at the same time, begin your prayers for his body and the Doctors.

Kyla

Thursday, January 11, 2007 4:36 PM CST

Sorry it has taken me so long to update. Logan has been more wake today and he is being very feisty with is tube. He is sleeping so I thought I would give it a try.
Surgery is still on for tomorrow at 8 am until when ever.
I have a request from those of you who pray fervently for us as I know you do.
I got a book today that caught my eye in the book sale downstairs this morning.
It is called “The power of Crying out” (When prayer becomes mighty)
It tells that although all of our thoughts and prayers are heard by God he wants us to call out loudly upon him for our needs with out shame or embarrasement, but humbly and whole heartedly


Lift up your voices with strength, Lift it up, be not afraid.” Isaiah 40:9

“Call to me and I will answer you and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know.” Jeremiah 33:3

“Call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you and you shall glorify me.” Psalm 50:15

“I cried to the Lord with my voice , and He heard me from his holy hill… O Lord my God, I cried out to you and you healed me.” Psalm 3:4; 30:2

God hears those in great need and prayer becomes powerful and mighty in multitudes. If you feel the emotion and the desire in your heart please cry out loudly to God to heal Logan and keep him from all harm. Deliver him from this sickness and protect his body. My thanks are not enough for you and we shall pray without ceasing for this little boy who loves life and whom I need very badly in mine. Love and gratitude are filled in my heart from the dedication and support we receive from you.
Kyla

Wednesday, January 10, 2007 1:39 PM CST

They are planning on the surgery taking 12 to 14 hours. He has been awake for a little bit but is back under now. He was himself though for the few minutes he was awake. Bossing me around and telling us what he wanted. He reassures me of his strength.




Nothing new to report today.

Logan is out of it on three different types of sedation medicine right now. It is hard to see him so still and asleep. I am exhausted although I slept last night. I am anxious about Friday and trying not to watch the numbers too much at this point. I saw Dr. Morgan this morning while I was having coffee with Mom and Brandon's aunt and uncle. He said surgery was on for Friday and that they would put a portacath in during the other procedure so we would have access. So many things are going to take place and I know it will zap his body. Thank you for the much needed prayers and words of encouragement. I will keep you posted.

Just so everyone can stop worrying, I still have faith in God and I still trust and love him, I am just frustrated with what is happening to Logan.

Thanks

Kyla

Tuesday, January 9, 2007 1:12 PM CST

Well we are back in nightmare on elm street. Logan was not tolerating the bi-pap as well as earlier. Dr. Morgan came in and said that surgery would be Friday morning. He also thought that since Logan was working so hard that if they had to intubate him it would give him time to rest and get good nutrition before the long surgery so after deliberating they decided that we should go ahead and give him a break so he can feel better Friday. It was very painful but he had to be put on the ventilator despite all of our efforts. I am numb and angry with god right now whether I should be or not I am! He is unmerciful to Logan at times and I am at the point that I don't understand why he is turning away from us right now. I know that this is not the right way to think or feel, but I am so sad and hurt and scared and I have begged God to take this away and heal Logan. I am also angry that we just got the on how the mortality rate increases with each intubation and how he is at higher risk for infection and blah blah blah AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

I will post more later right now I am going to have to step out so they can place a PIC or central line. He has been stuck 22 times since Monday morning. They are talking about a portacath now. Pray for my sons body to be strong and fight and reject infection and his lungs to stay strong and not let the tube damage them. Also that this risky long and painful surgery will go smoothly. Pray for our faith and trust in the lord when he seems to not be with us right now. I know he is or Logan would not be with us, but it feels like we are all alone and Logan is suffering. When Logan gets fixed he has a GREAT quality of life and it is worth fighting very hard to get back!!!!

Kyla

Tuesday, January 9, 2007 9:59 AM CST

So we are still maintaining on bi-pap, barely!!!! He did very good for a long time and then he would have spells in the night when he was not doing so well. This morning they had to take out the IV that took 9 tries to get in because TPN was leaking in his arm and it is puffed up like a boxing glove. They had to get a new one and that really was upsetting to him so between that and reflux he has been pretty rocky all morning. His Sat's are ranging from 79 to 90 and they just keep bouncing. He is miserable and his face is wind chapped. He wants a drink so bad and he is not supposed to have one. The Dr on today said that we just needed to monitor him because putting a ventilator on would not be much more helpful so he wanted to avoid it and see where we can get him on this. That put my mind to ease a little, but I know it is lurking around the corner.
We did get to talk to the surgeon last night after we went to the chief of staff. We have decided to switch to the surgeon that was originally assigned to us and has a great bed side manor as well as skill. He came in and talked to us and was happy to take the case and then along walked in Dr. Morgan our surgeon. Very uncomfortable I must say, but I think we got our point across to Dr. Lovvorn that he is the one we want. They are checking the OR schedule for the week to see what rooms are available for then to do this. Right now we have to keep Logan calm and comfortable so that he stops fighting the bi-pap mask and making things harder. I will update later with hopefully more news.
Kyla

Monday, January 8, 2007 6:00 PM CST

Logan is on bi-pap right now in hopes to bridge the gap and avoid the ventilator. I ask that you please pray that Logan will tolerate the bi-pap and avoid the ventillator which would be the worst possible thing that could happen to him at this point so soon after the last time. We need you all to pray with out ceasing for him to do well and let the bi-pap work for him.

Thanks you so much,

Kyla

Monday, January 8, 2007 10:25 AM CST

We have not gone in the direction we had hoped for, last night around midnight Logan got very sick to his stomach and was heaving and trying to throw up. We could not get him to regain his O2 levels at that point so he and I loaded up in the bed and were wheeled to the ICU. We were able to give him continuous nebs for a while and then put him back on the mask. He did well although they stuck him 9 times for an IV. We finally got one at 6:am and then he started taking a turn for the worse and now we are treading thin ice and walking very close to the ventilator. We are awaiting a new surgeon that we really like to come and talk to us. I have not slept in five days and I am emotionally terrified. Brandon came back this morning and I am so grateful for him being here. I feel so much more peace having him to fight with me.

Please ,please,please pray. I don't know how much more his little body can take and I am starting to fear things I have always pushed out of my thoughts.

Kyla

Sunday, January 7, 2007 1:27 PM CST

Not much to report at this time. Logan has had really bad abdominal cramps and has been pretty miseralbe. We started the process of trying to clean him out since he is so impacted. That is really fun let me tell you!!! We are waiting to see Dr. Morgan (surgeon) tomorrow. We have seen his partners, but they are not the ones we need. He will be here tomorrow.
We have seriously not slept more than an hour since Wed of last week. I am a walking zombie. Logan is having trouble holding his SAT's at night due to belly discomfort. I will post more tomorrow. Brandon will go home tonight to go to work. Solo again!!!!!
Kyla

Friday, January 5, 2007 2:43 PM CST

We are at Vandi in the ED. Logan was having severe abdominal pain and it was causing his breathing to be labored. Our pulse-ox broke so we were not able to monitor him at home. I will fill you in on the whole story later, but right now the chest x-ray looks good and it does not seem to be his lungs. We are focusing on his tummy to see what is causing the pain. He does not have a virus or it does not seem that way, no vomiting or diarrhea, just horrible pain
I will keep you posted
Kyla

Wednesday, January 3, 2007 6:40 PM CST

Surgery is scheduled for January 29th!
Dr. Morgan still wants us to have the PH probe repeated before to see how bad things are acid wise. I am not crazy about this idea since we have already been through three and they are a nightmare for us. The placement is the hardest part for him and it is usually pretty awful. He usually gets really upset and drops his O2 levels and we have a hard time getting them back up.
I am glad we are on the schedule for this month, but 26 more days of this hell seems like torture. He had a horrible episode on the way home. We were on the interstate and he was sweating and crying and pulling at his stomach. I gave him two breathing treatments through oxygen and finally he went to asleep and he was breathing much better. He is still asleep and I have tried to wake him, he is out. I feel another 4:00am coming on. This will be the 4th this week. He has woke up at 4:00 or 4:30 every morning this week. He is just on a bad schedule and I am trying to change it with no luck.
I am hoping to talk to a nurse I know this week and work out some type of arrangement for her to sit with Logan at times so that I can get some relief and get a few things done that I need to do. It is getting to the point where no one feels very comfortable watching him because he does these things so quickly now and they are afraid they will make a mistake. I understand completely what they mean, but it makes it hard for me because I am here from 6am to 8pm by myself mostly 6 days a week while Brandon works. I get a break usually 4 hours a week I am not being selfish , but that’s just not enough for me. I will update more if anything changes. No plans other than PH probe and maintaining until the 29th.
Kyla

Saturday, December 30, 2006 8:17 PM CST

Where do I begin?...
first I have to say that Logan came home Tuesday afternoon, but still is not feeling well. I have been unable to come to the computer and post anything or check anything.
Today as I was carrying Logan back down the hall for another breathing treatment, the phone rang and it was my dear friend Nicki (Isaiah’s mom) on the phone. She called to tell me that Lance, one of my special and very close caring bridge children earned his wings Thursday and she knew I had probably not been on to read or email his mother Tina.
I froze and my heart sank into the pit of my stomach. Not Lance, no not Lance, he really was Super Man! This could not be so.
You see I was first introduced to the caring bridge network through Isaiah's page and from there I stumbled upon Lance's. I was drawn to him and his mother from the start. She displayed so much strength and courage and she said all of the things I was thinking and feeling in her journal entries. Lance was five when I first met him, Logan was three and although they had totally different diagnosis, their medical issues were very similar at times.
The day I found his page I remember so clearly the journal entry. Lance was very sick and had been in the hospital for awhile and they decided to place the DNR on his file. She was very upset with how the hospital staff had been acting toward her and the possibilities of Lance not pulling through and the words that stuck in my mind and pierced my heart were when she said she had already had to plan his funeral once before and…., from there on the words are a blur of tears. As I read this, I knew she was writing and living my worst fear, my nightmare that I knew I could never handle and prayed and pleaded with God to never make me face.
I did not know her or Lance, I had just opened his page up minutes earlier, but I found myself crying hysterically over the pain that she was enduring. I signed in the guest book and told her that I admired her strength and bravery. She was very inspirational and I only hoped I could be as strong and faithful as she was. The next day she emailed me and we have been friends ever since. Lance was so very special and Tina was the most wonderful selfless mom. When she talked of knowing that Lance’s life was limited here on earth and how she did not know what she would do with herself and her days if her were to be taken home were so real to me. I have thought those same things day after day. The pain of thinking them are almost as painful as if they were true. I ask that you please pray for Tina and Lance Sr. they are such sweet people and I know that their world and their ”normal” is turned upside down right now.
Tina if you read this I hope you know how much I think of you and admire you.
I also found out today that another caring bridge child gained his wings. Zach Frantz
I had the privilege of knowing Zach only a short time. His mother emailed me about some questions concerning the ventilator while we were at Vanderbilt. Zach was having a really hard time and he was in so much pain. Please visit their page as well and let them know how much we are all thinking of them.
I will try to wrap this up as I am feeling very sad and want to go hug my Logan right now.
Logan has an appt with the surgeon on wed to set a date (hopefully) for surgery. He is still very weak and is having a lot of trouble walking. He is tired all the time and is still having episodes. I am hoping that he just needs to regain his strength after all he has been through the last three months. His muscle mass is depleted. His legs are sticks as well as his arms. I really have to work on that. He is also anemic and is very pale. He is on iron supplements to try and help that . I ask that you please pray for all of our families. As always please include Isaiah as well. I will update again but maybe not before the appt. wed.
I hope that 2007 brings much less heartache than 2004,2005, and 2006 maybe this is our year. I pray hard for that daily

Kyla
www.caringbridge.com/md/lance
www.caringbridge.com/visit/zacharyfrantz

Wednesday, December 27, 2006 9:29 AM CST

we are home. I will update later

Monday, December 25, 2006 6:49 PM CST

I hope everyone has had a wonderful Christmas with their family and friends today.
Although we were here in the hospital we made the most of the situation with a little help from our family and friends. We have had lots of company and gads of presents. I hope Logan does not get any ideas that he wants to spend more Christmases in the hospital because of all the neat stuff he’s been getting:)
Santa must have seen we were not home and brought his stuff here as well as a lot of other stuff he dropped off for all the boys and girls. We got a gift card to Target from Faith and Tim McGraw. Unfortunately we did not get to see them in person, but it was very nice. Our dear friends Jack and Kristin came yesterday along with Brandon’s Aunt, Uncle and Cousins. Today we have pretty much seen the whole gang, Brandon’s Mom and Ken brought a wonderful breakfast with LOT’S of gifts, My uncle Roy, Aunt Karen and Matt came with my grandmother, and my Mom and Dad are here now. My sister and her husband came Saturday, so we have really felt as much like Christmas as possible and everyone made that really nice for us. We appreciate it.
We finally saw a surgeon today it was not Dr. Morgan, but it was just as good, Dr. Lovvorn came to talk to us an he said that he agreed that something needed to be done and he would discuss it with Dr. Moran tomorrow. So we are expecting Dr. Morgan tomorrow when he is available. We have no idea when they could fit him into the schedule and what the plan of action is yet. Logan has done better today, fewer episodes then days prior. We have successfully cleaned him out from his four-week back up in the ICU. His belly looks and feels so much better. That has helped a lot we are just waiting now.
Thanks for your loving support and I hope everyone had a blessed Christmas, I know we did just being together,
Kyla.

Saturday, December 23, 2006 12:38 AM CST

We had a very long night with Logan last night and today has been no piece of cake either. We decided yesterday to come home today and spend Christmas and then come back when they could get us in to see the Doctors. Logan had other plans I assume.
He had very bad episodes all night and one really bad one around 10:00am that sealed the deal, no going home.
His SAT’s dropped to 64 on 100% oxygen and would not come up. He was having a total anxiety attack on top of it. He was screaming and arching his back and sweating, His skin was clammy and purple. We were able to finally get them back into the 80’s after three different treatments. They paged all the Dr’s and they examined him. We are supposed to talk with GI today and see what they say. His belly his till so tight and swollen even after several BM’s. We don’t know the cause of that. They ordered a stomach x-ray and we are waiting to hear from that. His muscle tone is still so weak; he can’t walk or stand-alone. He can hardly straighten his legs and it is making things even harder. I am hoping we can get a plan in place before everyone goes home to celebrate the holidays with their families, other wise we will be stuck here in a holding pattern for who knows how long. My friend asked me if I was coming unglued yet and I told her not yet but by next week you could all see me on the local news holding the hospital hostage if they did not get their butts in gear. Now what would be really funny is if someone read this and thought it was true and I got a visit from the local authorities at the hospital for a terrorist threat or some crazy nonsense like that!!!! Not a threat just venting!
I will keep you posted.
God Bless you and may you have a wonderful Christmas celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior. I know that Santa Clause is more popular with the kids and some adults as well, but sometimes I think we forget what it is really about! It is about miracles and we need all of those we can get in this world.
Love,
Kyla

Friday, December 22, 2006 12:39 AM CST

Today has been a fairly decent day so far since it started at four this morning. Logan has had a few episodes after he ate breakfast, but we were able to get them under control with treatments and Oxygen.
So as for the upper GI yesterday let me tell you what it showed. REFLUX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Imagine that. What have I said all along it was reflux. The nissen looks like it has slipped again probably from the bad coughing and retching that happened in October when we started seeing it again also this last virus did not help anything.
Dr. Fazili, Brandon and I were all very frustrated with the findings but somewhat relieved to know the cause so that we are not in question all the time and we kind of know what to do to make it better. First on our part we are going to have to restrict his diet a lot. No more chocolate, cheese, milk, caffeine, anything tomato, juice and so on. He is going to be very angry with us for a long time, but we have to do this to make the reflux get under control a little better. Next we will talk to the surgeon about, yes, another surgery to repair his wrap and reinforce it better, this time I am going to request a Mic-Key button (G-tube) this way when he gets sick we can open the Mic-Key button and help to release the pressure that the heaving causes, as well as lots of other helpful things. It will take a lot of adjusting on our part and Logan’s but we can do it if it means the wrap will stay in tact and work right
We are also going to consult with ENT about tonsils and any sub-glotic tissue that may have formed due to multiple intubations and reflux. The plan is to think about letting us go home for the holidays and come back next week when everyone is here and we can be seen in a timely manor so we are not just waiting and being miserable. Dr. Fazili made it very clear that he has only a few parents that he could entrust this type of responsibility to and know that it would be taken care of correctly and we were one of them that made us feel good that he trust he really respects us so much. He is going to talk it over with the other Doctors and let us know. So we may be home for Christmas if Logan does not pull any stunts before then. Please continue (and I know you do) the prayer chains.
Love and thanks,
Kyla

Thursday, December 21, 2006 11:53 AM CST

Sorry it has taken me so long to update, I could not get to a computer due to Logan’s need and the fact that they were all being used to play solitaire on until I had to ask someone to let me use this one.
Logan is on the seventh floor very stable, but requiring more frequent treatments and more Oxygen. He is having the same spells he was having during our 18 day October stay when they could not find the culprit. We had a rough night with the spells and they came in and tried to get an IV with no luck. We are going down for an upper GI at 2:15 to see if he is having any reflux which is what it seems like is what is going on. Really they have no idea what is going on. I will let you know what the Upper GI says later this afternoon.
Thank you for everything Love, prayers, strength and friendship

Wednesday, December 20, 2006 1:40 PM CST

Quick update, Logan is in the hospital right now at Vandi. I will update as soon as I know more about what is causing his de-SAT's We are in the ER there are no rooms on the floor right now.
Please pray
Kyla

Sunday, December 17, 2006 12:56 AM CST

We are home now, I will fill you in on the details later.

Logan is having withdrawls and is not out of the woods yet so I better go for now and tend to him. I will update more later.

Kyla

keep praying

Saturday, December 16, 2006 12:35 AM CST

We got moved to the floor last night so maybe we are closer to home now. I am not getting my hopes up yet, I will keep you posted as I know more, Logan is doing better and is on 2 liters nasal cannulla right now. Hopefully things have moved in the right direction right now.
Thanks for everything, you love support and prayers are so important to us.
Love
Kyla

Friday, December 15, 2006 12:29 AM CST

Logan is doing a little better this morning than last night. I was up until 4:00 am trying to keep his SAT's up. I was about to walk off of the deep in form lack of sleep and pure fear.
This morning he is better and I am trying to adjust to the yo-yo effect but I am not doing a very good job the last few days. I gues because I am so tired, scared, anxious and frustrated all of those emotions are leading me. I want to be in control of them but I am not right now. Being the control freakthat I am, hopefully I will get it together soon. I am working on Christams cards today and that helps to ground me a little. Several people have asked why I would put that extra task on myself, my reply is because it is a normal thing to do and it is kind of theraputic for me to focus on something other than oxygen levels. When I get the picture downloaded I will email it to you all as well. I am trying hard not to leave anyone out on the christmas cards, but I already have 50 done and I keep thinking of more people, so if I miss you please know it was purly accidental. I cherish all of you.
Thanks for the continued love and prayers you send to us faithfully!
Kyla
ps and to think that Monday I was stressing over talking them into letting us go home and me doing the IV antibiotics, boy how fast things can change. The antibiotics are finished now and we are STILL here.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006 5:06 PM CST

Not much change today. After shift change last night I explained my theory on how I thought the continous albuterol was not making Logan better, but infact causing him to bronchial spasm more. They were willing to go with me on it even though there was no medical evidance to back my theory up and they tried Logan off of the continous and did hourly treatments. With in 30 minutes he was doing much better than he was before. His SAT's were 100% and he was breathing easier, so they were pleased and left it off and we went ot every 4 hour treatments. He had a great night and was weaned from 100% to 70% oxygen quickly. This morning he was having alittle more difficult time after his treatments and we were having to do more chest PT to open him up. He slept and had a great nap his SAT's were wonderful then he woke up and ate and has been wheezing and coughing ever since. He is back to 100% oxygen and he is tight. His breathing slowed after a round of rocking and chect PT. We are still not sure why he is clamping down like this. Please contiue to pray for him he feels so good at times, but so bad at others. We are still teetering on the edge of good and very bad. I am a little anxious and very stressed and nervous. I am trying to stay calm and level headed but it is getting harder and harder for me. I am glad my mom os here to help me level back out. What helps the most is being able to step put of the room and gather my thoughts while she entertains or rocks Logan. Thanks to everyone who has been supporting us and helping us

Love

Kyla

Monday, December 11, 2006 7:56 PM CST

Logan is doing a little better than last night. He is still on albuterol and 70xygen. He looks better , is sitting up in the bed and coloring, but he is still retracting when he breathes and you can tell he is having trouble. I really hope that he can improve throughout the day Keep praying

Kyla


Today has not been as good as yesterday. Around noon Logan was having more trouble breathing and they had to put him on more oxygen. He has been on 40low by mask since then and around five pm they put him on continuous albuterol because he was really tight and course. I am trying not to worry so much but I am very anxious right now. When the shift change is over I am praying that I will go back and he will be better or at least no worse. I am unsure of what casued this set back, but I am trying not to panick. Please pray that we can get him to open up with the treatments and chest PT and not need any other intervention. I was really thinking we may have gone home tomorrow earlier this morning, but that is not going to happen now. I will update tomorrow. Thanks

Kyla

Ps thanks to all for the wonderful E-cards that were sent to us. I think we got like 43 today. That was so nice. They delivered a envelope full.

Sunday, December 10, 2006 7:05 PM CST

Today has been a good day so far.
Logan has done well and he is back on his normal diet of Taco Bell and more Taco Bell!!!
His belly is swollen and he is going to have to take a break even though he has not eaten in three weeks he can’t make up for it all today.
Brandon went home a few minutes ago so I am solo tonight. It is shift change now so I am waiting until 8:00 to go back in.
We were really hoping they would let us go home tomorrow or the next day since he was doing well and he is already better than he was last year when they released him after his long stay, but they said he has to finish a 15 day course of IV antibiotics and we have 6 more days left on them. I almost cried. We have been here three weeks and it feels like three months. I don’t want to stay 6 more days. They will feel like 6 years.
When you first get here you concede to the fact that you have no control over what happens and you have to sit back buckle up and endure the ride, but once you get the going home bug it is hard to shake! You become REALLY anxious.
We are going to check with the social worker tomorrow and our insurance about home health IV antibiotics for the last 6 days. I can administer them as long as the home health company can set up a pump and get my supplies. It would be a lot cheaper for the insurance company as well as safer for Logan so as not to be exposed to anything else here in the hospital. We will know more tomorrow, but if it does not work out in our favor we will most likely be here until Friday AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
It could be worse, I know!
I hope everyone enjoyed their weekend of crazy Christmas shopping, if that is what you did, I know everyone in Nashville did if you didn’t the people are everywhere.
I will update more tomorrow when we see if that is an option
Thanks for your love and support,
Kyla

Saturday, December 9, 2006 12:07 AM CST

They pulled the tube at 11:00am and so far so good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Logan did really well and was such a big boy. He is on his nasal cannullas now on three liters and his SAT's are 95 and above so we are very relieved to say the least. I pray things continue to head in this direction and maybe we wll go home soon.
Once again Logan showed us he is superman and he is truly amazing.
I am so proud of him he is unbelievable.
Thanks for all of your dedicated prayers to our family. We do feel the love that surrounds us by all of you. Thank you so much.

Update in Alex, He is off of the ventilator as well as of yesterday and his breathing is fine. He is having what they call brain storms and it is causing him to be very agitated and he does not seem to recognize his parents at this tme.He is four years old and was very typical up until this unfortunate accident. I spoke with is grandfather this morning and they said the nuerologist was trying to find the best way to stop the brain storms and redirect their route in his body. I am not certain what that means and I did not want to ask too many questions, so I told him that we would all continue to lift him up and his parents in prayer. They need him to recognize them as well as become restful and not be so uncomfortable.

Thank you everyone

Kyla .

Friday, December 8, 2006 12:34 AM CST

AHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Logan just woke up so no extubation today, hopefully tomorrow!

*he is still asleep, so no news yet

Logan had a great night and the plan is to etubate after he wakes from his nap. See he slept all afternoon and played puzzles and read books with Diedra, his nurse all night so now he is sleepy. Maybe around 2 or so he will be awake and we will see how it goes. Start the prayer lines that things will go well!
Thanks Kyla
Update on Ethan. He has had two skin grafts and things went well. He has been moved to the main hospital to the burn unit so I am not in contact with the family now. He seems to be improving daily. Thanks for your prayers.
I have not heard another update on Alex since I last posted so he really is in need of your prayers as well. Thanks Kyla

Thursday, December 7, 2006 9:08 PM CST

Logan has been out since they placed the new art line today. His oxygen saturation has gone from 99 and 100% to 85 and 89%. He always does this after sedation and it is getting old. We were going to try and pull the tube tomorrow but I don't know if we can now or not. He has at least rested really well for several hours, but around 2 am is when it will wear off and he will be up for the rest of the night. Hopefully it will all wear off and he will get his O2 levels back up. Brandon is here now and maybe I can rest a little while he sets with Logan if all works out. They just took another chest x-ray and we will see how that looks.
On another note, I can't believe it is December 7th already. All the Christmas decorations are out and everyone is having Christmas parties. I just can't believe how time flies. We were in the hospital on Halloween and home for a few days and back through Thanksgiving so it feels unbelievable to me that it will be Christmas in 18 days. We will put our tree up I guess when we get home if the timing works out. For the first time since we have been here it made me really sad to know we may not be home for Christmas and that we may miss the holiday season putting the tree up with Logan and doing all the fun Christmas stuff. Brandon and I have always said "home" is where Logan is and right now "home" to us is at Vanderbilt, but I feel a little more homesick than usual with it being Christmas time. Brandon's Christmas Party is tomorrow night and we really had planned on going. We have not been since Logan was born due to sickness or babysitting reasons but we were actually going to try and go this year. I hope it is fun and to everyone at BGMU we hope you have a wonderful time and say a special toast for Logan, he is an honorary employee after all. I really do want everyone to know what a blessing BGMU has been to our family. Not only with all of the emotional and spiritual support, but also they have been amazingly helpful during our insurance crisis with Logan hitting his life time max and so many other wonderful things. That company is made up of amazingly kind, compassionate people, and the reason I want everyone to know this is because we should be proud of our community and the good things people do. I wish that there were more focus on the good people and the kindness in this world rather than all of the negativity and crime. There are definatly more good, kind people then not and the media and us as well need to start focusing on that! The world would be a much better place
Thanks to everyone who supports us and prays for our family. We hold you so close to our hearts!

Thursday, December 7, 2006 2:56 PM CST

No big changes today. He is finally sleeping really well after then new arterial line was placed. The other one stopped drawing blood yesterday so they had to remove it and put a new one in the plan is to try and extubate tomorrow still. He has done really well today so I pray that it is the right time for him. Brandon should be here in a few hours so if anything changes I will let you know.
I have another prayer request from my friends for a little boy named Alex.
He came in to have the hole in his throat from a trach removal closed (simple out patient procedure) the hole was stitched too tight and somehow he lost oxygen for 15 minutes and collapsed both his lungs and injured his throat. They do not know what extent of damage was done to his brain. from the oxygen deprivation. They have now been here three weeks and still do not know what to expect long term.
They are very sweet and are very sad, they brought him in healthy for a minor procedure and now they are in a place they never expected. I told them I would get the word out to my prayer warriors. They were grateful and so I am I to have your support!
Kyla

Wednesday, December 6, 2006 3:05 PM CST

Sorry it has taken me so long to update today. You all will have to talk with Logan about that. He was determined I was not to get out of his sight until he fell asleep a few minutes ago. I have been patting his behind all day long and he was not about to let me quit for anything. That was fine by me. Although I did pat his behind all day yesterday and night until about 2:00 am when the nurse took over because I almost fell out of the chair when I dosed off. at his bedside. He was not thrilled that I was going to sleep but he did agree that even I deserved some sleep, so he let the nurse pat him for a while
He was sitting up last night putting puzzles together as well as today he continues to amaze everyone with his ability to cope and handle the tube being in his throat and not messing with it even though he is so awake, When he rolls over now he has started to pull the harness that the tubing is attached to with him so he does not put tension on the tube, He is so smart it is unreal how much he understands about things he should not have to understand. All lf the nurses come by and visit him to see what new trick he is doing I went to get some water right outside of his room and when I walked back in he was on his knees facing the back of the room looking for me holding his tube. I of course panicked because number one he could pull the tube out any minute and we would have a crash cart intubation and two he is still not so steady so I was afraid he was going to fall out of the bed Anyway they have done C-pap trial all day off an d on for two hours. He has done well and they are leaning toward Friday if he keeps up the good work. We will see when Friday gets here. Brandon will be here so that makes me a little less nervous.
I will update alter if anything changes today. Thanks
Kyla

Tuesday, December 5, 2006 1:34 PM CST

Today has been pretty much the same as yesterday before the tried extubation.
He was up really early as usual, but has done well today and they are trying a few c-pap trials every other hour. He is still very awake and wants to be patted on is behind and sang to. Right now the respiratory therapist is giving his treatment and putting him back on c-pap mode. My Mom may come down tomorrow night and stay with me then Brandon will come down Thursday and stay through the weekend. Maybe if he does really well today and tomorrow on c-pap we will try again. I am trying not to be nervous about it, but there is always the chance that it will not be a success. Please continue to pray for his strength and for the right timing for Logan to get the tube out.
I will keep you posted.
Kyla

Monday, December 4, 2006 3:10 PM CST

The extubation was not a success. They are putting the breathing tube back in as I am typing this. I am numb at this point as I can only ask God why he let them pull the tube when I asked him to do his will and what was right for Logan and obviously he was not ready so why did we pull the tube if it was not his will. I am so confused on how this faith thing works anymore. I put it in God's hands and asked him that his will be done and if Logan was not ready than for us to have a reason not to proceed and give him the time he needed. Logan did great on the cpap trials and looked awesome so they came to pull the tube and less than five minutes later it is going back in. What am I doing wrong. How am I supposed to know. I had such peace in my heart about this and was not really that worried, but I should have been. I thought the peace was my signal from God that everything was going according to his plan.

Now I just wonder how many failed extubation we get before we get the trach talk again.

Thanks for your love and continued support.

Kyla





Right now they are all assembled n Logan's room to pull the tube and see how he does. This is the moment of truth to see if we can come off of the vent. I will let you know how it goes, but please please pray that this is successful for him so he can get better. It would not be good to have to put the tube back in we would virtually start over.

Thanks

Kyla

Sunday, December 3, 2006 9:38 AM CST

Good morning,
Yesterday proved to be much more productive than the last two.
They were able to wean the nitric from 20 to 5 and then they will wean it off as soon as he gets under 60% O2. He is at 68% right now and that changes very often! We will see how we do today. They are also weaning the peep (positive end expiatory pressure) from 8 to 6 and we will see how he does.
Brandon has to go back tonight so the next few days will be stressful because we are going to try and start the weaning process it is always three steps forward and two steps back. And I am on pins and needles through out it all!!!!
Thank you for all of your continued prayers and support. We are so grateful for all of you!
I will post later today as we see how the new changes are affecting him.
Kyla

Saturday, December 2, 2006 12:03 AM CST

It was a long night!!!!!
Logan had a very hard day yesterday and slept most of the day so last night he did not sleep at all.
Brandon stayed with him until sometime before five this morning and then I cam in and he was wide-awake and has been until just a few minutes ago. He has been his feisty little self bosses us around, and telling us what he wants in no uncertain terms. He had a few episodes in the night and when I came over to relieve Brandon the nurse we had told me that they had to go up on his O2 and the Doctors had been in and then he said we have done just about all we can do. The blood drained from my body at that moment and I just looked at him. I know he is a little on the dramatic side and I knew that he was annoyed that Logan had been up for the last two nights that he had him and was making his job harder, so I just looked at him and said told him he was really scaring me what did he mean. He said that all he meant was that they did not want to change his settings anymore so we were just going to tolerate the oxygen levels at anything over 88 I finally breathed and said you scared the crap out of me and I had no idea what he meant, but maybe next time he will not word things that way.
So they have changed his vent settings a little and then will look at weaning the Nitric. His SAT’s are still low for him being on 87% right now We will have to be patient and hope that the new settings will work for him and that the Nitric can be weaned as well as the vent. I will post if anything changes.
Kyla

Friday, December 1, 2006 10:08 AM CST

Things have really changed since my last update.
Shortly after that Logan started to drop his SAT;’s and they had to put him on nitric oxide. They think his pulmonary hypertension may be playing a bigger role in this. He is now on 100xygen and he is sedated from the fentinyll they had to use to retape his tube and put a cath in to get a urine culture. He has some bacterial growth in his tube so they have started another antibiotic. They have ordered an echo and they changed his art line from his hand to his foot and started another IV in his arm until they can get the PIC line He has really had a lot done to him today and he is exhausted as well as me and Mom are from watching. I am not sure what to expect after all of this, but I hope we can get Logan over the hump and make him better over the next day or so. He is fighting so hard and I know he is tired. Brandon will be here tonight and that will make things better for me. He is my shoulder to lean on and it always makes me feel better when he is here. I know he can’t always be here that is obvious as much as we are in and out of the hospital, but it is good when he is. Brandon’s Aunt Diane and Uncle Steve came in the midst of the crisis and prayed with us. Over Logan, It was very helpful and healing for us. (Uncle Steve is a preacher) So thank you to them for being there when we need them!
Thanks to everyone for being there for us it means so much!
Love Hope and Faith
Kyla




Things have not improved as I had hoped over night.
When I came back from shift change at 8:00 they were bagging him because he started to drop his O2 SAT’s dramatically down in to the 60’s and would not come back up very easy. They thought he was plugged and suctioned, but did not get a lot. They ended up changing his vent setting and he was back up to 1002 and his rate went to 28. The X-ray showed that he was still super hyper-expanded and he was air trapping really bad. After they suctioned a few times and gave his lasix he settled out and was dropped to 70 on his O2 and he was asleep I went and laid down around 11:45pm and Mom stayed in here with him .I got a phone call at 1:00 am from the nurse and he told me I needed to get in here Logan needed me. I was so scared and half awake I almost ran into the wall trying to get out the door. When I got here he was Ok but he was mad and crying for me. They said he kept trying to buck himself out of the bed and was saying go get my mom from around the tube. I was able to calm him and he was doing well. He was awake and his numbers were so much better. He was down to 602 and he was playful, so I finally got him back to sleep around 2:15 and I went and lay down. At 4:oo am he had another episode like the earlier one and he is back up to 90 2 and his rate is up to 30 and I have no idea what is going on. They want to order an echo for his heart and more cultures and all this other stuff. He needs to get his lungs back to the normal inflation so they are not so hyper expanded. That is making things a lot worse for his asthma.
Please pray that his echo comes back good and that he does not have another infection or virus. If we could just fix the hyperinflation I think he would be much better! I am trusting in God to make things better for Logan. That does not mean I am not scared to death in the mean time. I can be patient if it takes time for him to heal. That is OK; I am not trying to rush him. I just need to know he can get better. And I know Logan well enough to know that will happen, but it is hard to keep that in perspective all the time when you are riding the emotional roller coaster. My heart brakes for him and how miserable he is. I try so hard to protect him form bugs and he got one of the worse one he could get other than RSV and the flu it feels like he can never catch a brake.
Thanks for your prayers, love and support,
Kyla

Thursday, November 30, 2006 4:44 PM CST

Not to speak too soon, but so far no nitric! They have kept his peep at 8 and started a continuous albuterol treatment. That is helping allot. He is hyper-inflated from the peep going back and forth so his co2 is in the 90's but his PH is normal so he is balancing somehow.

I must apologize for all the misspelled words in my previous emails. I type these quickly on a laptop and the keyboard is different from my PC. I do not check my spelling usually before I send them on. I only realize it is misspelled when I get reply emails. So must apologies, I can spell quite well actually when I pay attention

He is still at 65% o2 and his rate is 22. We need to get out of this rut tonight for sure.He just got his methidone for fentenyl withdraws so he is sleeping, also the high co2 makes him tired. Maybe he will get rest today and have a better day tomorrow.

Much Love and Thanks,

Kyla

Psalm 118.8

It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man.
(that is for sure!!!!!)

Thursday, November 30, 2006 9:40 AM CST

Well I was able to get some sleep last night and Brandon camped with Logan for most of around the night. Brandon left around 6:00 this morning to head back to work for the day and then he will come back tonight. I needed that so much I was so tired and frustrated and scared I was just not thinking clearly about things.

The plan for today is not much different than any other day. He is on 65% O2 now and they are trying to wean the peep form 10 to 8 now. He just got a treatment and for somereason the last few days when he gets them he has been having some kind of breathing reaction to the bagging. They have to unhook the ventilator and hook up the blue ambu bag that they give breathes with and they hook the medicine into a chamber connected to the bag. He is fighting against the breathes they are giving with the bag and he is really having trouble getting in rythm with it. He breaks out in a sweat and is really struggling to get good breathes. He really has never had a problem with this before so I don't know if it is because he is so awake or what, but after the treatment he is exhausted and is now asleep, which is unusual as well. it does not happen every time, but it is becoming a little more frequent. Anyway if they are not succesful with weaning the peep they want to put him on nitric oxice for a while. That is not so horrible, but not a step in the right direction really. Please continue to pray for my little prince's strength. I am really needing to hold him and love on him out all of these wires and tubes.

Thanks

Kyla

Wednesday, November 29, 2006 9:11 PM CST

Today has been very long. Logan has had a hard time with sedation like I have said in previous emails, so for two days they have not given any so that he will do all the breathing on his own. Last night my good friend Kristin came to help me because I had not had sleep in 48 hours it seemed. She camped with Logan for a while last night. The plan was for me to go to sleep at 9:00pm when they gave out the sleep room keys. Well I got mine at 10:00pm and at 10:15 Logan had a really bad spell during a treatment and was not moving his chest wall very well so they had to bag him and did a chest xray. He recoverd and I waited for the xray and went to lay down at 11:00pm. Kristin stayed with him until almost 3:00 am and then had to drive back to Bowling Green to get her kids to school and go to work. I was so worried about her being on the road but we talked a good part of the way home, and she`made it safe.Thank you so much Kristin for your help, it wa priceless!!! Logan never went to sleep while she was here and only drifted for 30 to 45 minutes after that until I had to go out for shift change. He was awake all day today and was very frustrated. He changed positions 100 times and each time I had to reposition the tube and pillows and blankets then he would turn again as soon as I would get it all just right. He has to be suctioned almost everytime because he irritates his lungs with the tube movement. He kept wanting to sit up and he was asking for apple juice around the tube. He can't drink anything because of the tube so he was mad. Brandon's aunt and uncle came at a wonderful time and I went down and got breakfast/lunch at 12:30 after that they had to retape his tube because he had pulled it so much it was very unstable. They had to give him two extra doses of adivan to keep him from moving while they took the old tape off and put new on, after that it knocked him out and he has been out of it ever since. All of his vent settings have gone back up. He is back up to 70% o2 and pressure support(peep) of 10 from 7. This is a viscious cycle and I am having a hard time with it. Brandon came up tonight and suprised me because he was worried about us. He is so good to us and I am very grateful for him!!!!! I will try and get sleep tonight as long as Logan does not pull anything. The Doctor hsa discussed with us the issue with sedation and Logan and we know we are going to have to set up camp around him for the next few days and keep him happy around the clock to keep from having to give him anything so that we can pull the tube ASAP! I hope we can get enough rest in between to be able to do everything Logan needs us to do. Thanks for all your prayers and all of the motivating remarks for us to stay strong. We will! We sometimes have to get over this hump and give into the reality of what we have to do and then we will be OK

I will update tomorrow

Kyla

Tuesday, November 28, 2006 10:18 AM CST

Things are not as good today as yesterday.

Logan was having trouble sleeping and we had been up two nights in a row so they gave him chlorol hydrate to make him sleep and is has knocked him for a loop. He is so out of it he is breathing fast and his oxygen requirement has gone for 45o 90I was hoping today would be the day to get the tube out. I am just tired,scared and alone with no one to sound these concerns too. I am just tired of riding the emotional rollercoaster that is so different from day to day. I know so many moms can do that up here, but I am a very emotional person and I have a hard time stayng off the ride. Please pray that this was only a minor setback and that he will stabilize out and go back to where we were. I need him to get that tube out so badly. I want to hold him and talk to him and love on him and I need the tube out to do most of those things. I just love him so much it hurts.

thanks for praying, and listening to my emotional wreck right now

Kyla

Monday, November 27, 2006 11:16 AM CST

Logan did GREAT!!!!! with the bronch. Dr. Fazili said he was surprided that his airway was actually bigger then he expected. He has had no reaction at this time and is sleeping. So thank goodness things went so well. I am so relieved! They are working on lowering the vent settings with the hope that he will be off in the next day or so. Thanks for all the extra prayers! We need to get this tube out so keep praying for that.
Thanks,
Kyla

Sunday, November 26, 2006 10:27 PM CST

Dr. Fazili is in Logan's room right now setting for the bronch. I am so nervous that he will have a set back with this procedure. I want him off of the vent so badly. The risks are small, but I just don't want anything to get in the way of the vent coming off. So please say a prayer that Logan will come through this with flying colors as usual and we have no set backs and we get useful information from this. I will let you know as soon as I can what the outcome is.

He has been so sweet today and through the night they even let me hold him in the rocking chair with the tube in.
I will let you know.

Kyla




Things have stayed the same through out the day. He has had some episodes where his O2 SAT's have dropped after treatments and chest PT but he seems to recover after 30 minutes or so.
So far the Bronch is scheduled for sometime tomorrow. I am not sure what time yet. They will just play it by ear and do it when they can. I am hesitant to let them do it now, I am afraid it will set him back a day or two and that really worries me. It shoudln't set him back, but Logan never plays by the rules. I guess I need to let them gather the information to help treat him in the future.
Brandon went home this afternoon and I guess he will try to come back later in the week.
I had several visitors this afternoon and it was nice to have the company. Thanks everyone for your continued prayers and support for our family. We are so grateful!
Kyla

Saturday, November 25, 2006 8:04 PM CST

Things are about the same. He did have a little setback last night. He was really out of it wuth the sedation and dropped his oxygen a lot and needed deep suctioning. All of his ventilator settings had to go back up for a few hours but are down now. He is still rally out of it. It worries me that he has fought the sedation so long and now it has built up in his system and he is just snowed right now. It causes him not to do anything. The ventilator is doing all the work, which is not what we want. I will update with any more progress. So far I think the bronch will be tomorrow if nothing happens. Brandon is going back home tonight so he can go to work tomorrow.
Thank you Carolina for fixing up Logan's webpage for me. I really love it. We will get a slide show together soon!




Hello,
Things have been slow today! No real changes after the ones I posted this morning. We have friends here with us now so I will post in the morning.
Thanks Dusty, Jessica and Darren for dinner! It was great to see you.
Kyla

Saturday, November 25, 2006 6:14 PM CST

To You, My Sisters
By Maureen K. Higgins
Many of you I have never even met face to face, but I've searched you
out every day. I've looked for you on the Internet, on playgrounds
and in grocery stores.

I've become an expert at identifying you. You are well worn. You are
stronger than you ever wanted to be. Your words ring experience,
experience you culled with your very heart and soul. You are
compassionate beyond the expectations of this world. You are
my "sisters."

Yes, you and I, my friend, are sisters in a sorority. A very elite
sorority. We are special. Just like any other sorority, we were
chosen to be members. Some of us were invited to join immediately,
some not for months or even years. Some of us even tried to refuse
membership, but to no avail.

We were initiated in neurologist's offices and NICU units, in
obstetrician's offices, in emergency rooms, and during ultrasounds.
We were initiated with somber telephone calls, consultations,
evaluations, blood tests, x-rays, MRI films, and heart surgeries.

All of us have one thing in common. One day things were fine. We were
pregnant, or we had just given birth, or we were nursing our newborn,
or we were playing with our toddler. Yes, one minute everything was
fine. Then, whether it happened in an instant, as it often does, or
over the course of a few weeks or months, our entire lives changed.
Something wasn't quite right. Then we found ourselves mothers of
children with special needs.

We are united, we sisters, regardless of the diversity of our
children's special needs. Some of our children undergo chemotherapy.
Some need respirators and ventilators. Some are unable to talk, some
are unable to walk. Some eat through feeding tubes. Some live in a
different world. We do not discriminate against those mothers whose
children's needs are not as "special" as our child's. We have mutual
respect and empathy for all the women who walk in our shoes.

We are knowledgeable. We have educated ourselves with whatever
materials we could find. We know "the" specialists in the field. We
know "the" neurologists, "the" hospitals, "the" wonder drugs, "the"
treatments. We know "the" tests that need to be done, we know "the"
degenerative and progressive diseases and we hold our breath while
our children are tested for them. Without formal education, we could
become board certified in neurology, endocrinology, and physiatry.

We have taken on our insurance companies and school boards to get
what our children need to survive, and to flourish. We have prevailed
upon the State to include augmentative communication devices in
special education classes and mainstream schools for our children
with cerebral palsy. We have labored to prove to insurance companies
the medical necessity of gait trainers and other adaptive equipment
for our children with spinal cord defects. We have sued
municipalities to have our children properly classified so they could
receive education and evaluation commensurate with their diagnosis.

We have learned to deal with the rest of the world, even if that
means walking away from it. We have tolerated scorn in supermarkets
during "tantrums" and gritted our teeth while discipline was
advocated by the person behind us on line. We have tolerated inane
suggestions and home remedies from well-meaning strangers. We have
tolerated mothers of children without special needs complaining about
chicken pox and ear infections. We have learned that many of our
closest friends can't understand what it's like to be in our
sorority, and don't even want to try.

We have our own personal copies of Emily Perl Kingsley's "A Trip To
Holland" and Erma Bombeck's "The Special Mother." We keep them by our
bedside and read and reread them during our toughest hours.

We have coped with holidays. We have found ways to get our physically
handicapped children to the neighbors' front doors on Halloween, and
we have found ways to help our deaf children form the words, "trick
or treat." We have accepted that our children with sensory
dysfunction will never wear velvet or lace on Christmas. We have
painted a canvas of lights and a blazing Yule log with our words for
our blind children. We have pureed turkey on Thanksgiving. We
have bought white chocolate bunnies for Easter. And all the while, we
have tried to create a festive atmosphere for the rest of our family.

We've gotten up every morning since our journey began wondering how
we'd make it through another day, and gone to bed every evening not
sure how we did it.

We've mourned the fact that we never got to relax and sip red wine in
Italy. We've mourned the fact that our trip to Holland has required
much more baggage than we ever imagined when we first visited the
travel agent. And we've mourned because we left for the airport
without most of the things we needed for the trip.

But we, sisters, we keep the faith always. We never stop believing.
Our love for our special children and our belief in all that they
will achieve in life knows no bounds. We dream of them scoring
touchdowns and extra points and home runs.
We visualize them running sprints and marathons. We dream of them
planting vegetable seeds, riding horses and chopping down trees. We
hear their angelic voices singing Christmas carols. We see their
palettes smeared with watercolors, and their fingers flying over
ivory keys in a concert hall. We are amazed at the grace of their
pirouettes. We never, never stop believing in all they will
accomplish as they pass through this world.

But in the meantime, my sisters, the most important thing we do, is
hold tight to their little hands as together, we special mothers and
our special children, reach for the stars.

Saturday, November 25, 2006 9:09 AM CST

Things have slowly moved in the right direction.
They weaned the albuterol to every two hours. They are weaning the aminphollyn (sp)
Also. The pressure support is down from 12 to 10 and his oxygen is down to 55o overall we have made many step in the right direction and Logan seems to be handling them quite well. The chest X-ray looked much better this morning as well.
His blood gasses are still a little off, but not too much for Logan. His Co2 is still in the 70’s and 80’s, but his PH is 7.45, which is perfectly normal.
We will see how today goes and then decide when to do the bronch.
Logan is not making it easy on the nurses with sedation, it is taking everything they have and all of his PRN (as needed) doses to keep him from sitting up in the bed, and pulling the breathing tube out.
He is tough! that is all I can say. Every one of the doctors here thinks so too.
I can’t even tell you how proud I am of the little soldier he is. I just want to pick him up and squeeze him and tell him how proud we are I can’t pick him up, but I can whisper it in his ear, and I do that as often as I can.
I need to ask another favor as I have done so many times before.
I ask that you please pray for a little boy named Ethan. He is 6 ½ years old and was brought in last night. He and his family were visiting here from California and they were at a bonfire and someone tossed kerosene on the fire to make it bigger and did not see him standing by it and he caught on fire and now is here needing skin grafts. He is very critical, but stable right now and his mother really needs the extra prayers and good thoughts their way. I told her that I knew just the people to tell. I told her we had an army of prayer warriors that would more than happily lift their family up too. She was very grateful. So please pray on for Ethan’s healing and Logan’s!!! You all are the best! there is no doubt about that!!!
Take care
Kyla

Friday, November 24, 2006 5:10 PM CST

No changes today. They are going to hold off on the bronch until he is off the continuous albuterol and the aminophelyn. Those are both bronchodilators. Dr. Fazili came in today and said that if Logan was ready to come off of the vent by chance over the weekend he would come in and do the bronch on Sunday even though he is not on call so that Logan would not have to stay on the vent. He said he would do anything for Logan and that made us feel really good. He is a great Doctor!! He really cares about Logan and us and it shows. Not many specialists have that type of relationship with their patients.
I have nothing new to report other than that.
We had a lot of friends come to visit today and that was really nice. Erin, Chris, Sarah, Michael, Ron and family. Thanks guys we appreciate you all so much!
I will update tomorrow with any news,
Kyla

Thursday, November 23, 2006 3:13 PM CST

Not much has changed today.
They are going to keep all of Logan’s settings the same over night again, and then maybe tomorrow start to wean him. There is a good possibility that Dr. Fazili (pulmonary) will do a Bronchoscope tomorrow. He wants to see how narrow Logan’s airways are. He will also wash out his lungs, which can cause severe bronchial spasms. It is a risky procedure but since we know now from the VQ scan that he only has 28% in one lung and 73% function in the other we need to know how narrow things are in there.
My family came today to visit and that was nice. There were 16 people here at one time. My aunts and uncles and cousins and Grandparents.My mom, Dad , Brother, sister her husbnad and so on. Even our neighbor, who is like family, was here
We were going to go eat Thanksgiving dinner at Cracker Barrel, but there was over an hour wait so instead we went to Waffle House. Yes you heard me right; we ate Thanksgiving dinner at Waffle House. There nothing like hash browns scattered, covered smothered, chopped and whatever else you can do to them. YUCK!!!!!!
That is one for the memory album.
Really it does not matter where you eat or what it is, it’s the company and as long as you are with family and people you love and that love you.That is all that matters.
I hope you all have had a wonderful Thanksgiving with your family and friends. I will post tomorrow, as I know more about the bronch and anything else.
Kyla

Wednesday, November 22, 2006 4:44 PM CST

It has been a pretty uneventful day for Logan. No real changes were made to his vent settings yet.
Brandon and I stepped out for a little while to pick up a few things that we needed here at the hospital. It was a pretty day and we enjoyed spending the time together, wish it were under different circumstances, but I guess you can’t be picky huh!
The sad thing is, Brandon and I only get to go on dates when Logan is in the intensive care unit because he has a full time nurse to watch him diligently. We rarely get to go anywhere together when we are home, but I would trade that for this any day!!!
Hope you all have wonderfully blessed Thanksgiving. I will continue to update everything that changes over the next few days.
Kyla

Wednesday, November 22, 2006 10:37 AM CST

There have been few changes over the night.
Logan’s X-ray has improved some and they were able to wean the oxygen to 65 %. He is resting and now we begin the process of healing and getting his lungs clear. The days will be long and we will take a few steps forward and a few steps backward everyday. We know the drill.
We do you want you to know that we need your emails and web site entries. They get us through, even if it is only a few words. You can’t imagine how it feels to read them everyday knowing that we are not alone and so many are thinking of us.
Have a blessed Thanksgiving and hug the ones you love, especially the little ones. They are truly ”gifts” from God!
Thank you,
Kyla

Tuesday, November 21, 2006 3:44 PM CST

Things have finally settled out and become a little calmer this evening. I find some sense of peace knowing that we did the right thing for Logan and he is resting and gaining strength. It was so hard to watch him struggle to breath, and as hard as it is for us to see him on the vent, at least I know that his body is not struggling.
He is a very strong little boy and he is whom I draw my strength from. Things are going to be very difficult over the next few days and maybe weeks, but we will find a way to overcome and we will see the positive in all this in due time.
I can’t tell you how comforting it is to set down tonight after the day we have had and read all of your emails and guest book entries on the web page. You have know idea how much strength we draw from our army of prayer warriors who never give up and have joined this battle with us for the long haul. I just realized the other day how far my emails reach around the community and even further. I send this to about 20 people and from there on it gets forwarded to 100’s. It circles back to people we know and people we don’t. That is so amazing to me! I feel like the world knows Logan and you all are cheering us on in our journey with him. Please don’t stop, keep forwarding to any and all that want to join in our crusade to get Logan well. God WILL listen.
What scares us the most about this is we are unsure of where this road is going to lead this time and we are very frightened by the unknown. We can’t dwell on it, but it is hard not to keep it in the back of your mind what happened last year and will we go there again. I pray that is not the case, but I have to prepare myself now for the possibilities.
I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving, believe it or not we do feel like we have a lot to be thankful for because Logan is such a fighter and he has over come so many odds in his short life, and we have so many people who care about us.
I will post tomorrow.
Kyla


I wish that I had good news to update to you right now, but unfortunatly I do not.
About an hour ago they checked Logan’s blood gas and his CO2 levels were dangerously high. They were going to try and give him time to bounce back, out of respect for us and our knowledge of Logan they were not going to jump the gun and intubate him, but he became non responsive as he lay in my arms and Brandon and I knew at that time we had no choice but to give him the help he needed. We told them we knew that Logan needed help and they assembled the team and let me hold him until they got everything in place. It seemed to take forever. Logan is now on the ventilator and he is finally resting, his body is not having to fight as hard and right now that is what matters. Please pray as you always do for him to have strength to fight this and get off the ventilator as soon as possible. God has a plan although I am unsure what it is, I pray that it includes Brandon, Logan and I together as a family here on this earth.
For those who are wondering how Brandon and are doing, I do not think that words could describe the pain and fear we are feeling right now. The emotional combination is torture. Thanks for all prayers we truly appreciate it.
Kyla

Tuesday, November 21, 2006 12:31 AM CST

Today has been long and non productive. We have taken three steps forward and five steps back.
Logan was up all night with the jitters form the albtuerol and was having anxiety. At 6:00 am they decided to give him a mild sedative to help him rest and now he is so knocked out he is not breathing well and he has been turned up form 50% oxygen to 100%
He is still very tight and inflamed. Trying different approaches, but I am very frustrated and tired. I will let you know if anything changes.
Kyla

Monday, November 20, 2006 9:31 AM CST

Logan’s fever got up to 105 earlier but is now down to 101.5 with Motrin. He is still having a hard time breathing and keeping his oxygen levels up. He is on continuous albuterol treatments and is still not moving air well. They are going to start a magnesium drip and see how that does. He is so tired he can barely keep his eyes open. The fever has worn his little body out as well as his breathing.
No real news to report other than they do think it is pneumonia. I will keep you posted.
Thank you to all for lifting us up in prayer! Please don’t stop we are weak right now, in mind, body and spirit and need your prayers so badly. Thank you so much for your love and devotion to our family.
Kyla

We are now at Vanderbilt in the PICU. We did not improve in the ICU at the Medical Center so we were transported this morning to Vandi. We believe he has aspiration pneumonia and his fever is 104. He is very tired and he is uncomfortable. When he had the stomach bug this weekend and was throwing up we believe he aspirated what came up into his right lung.
Last night was very miserable for all of us. He could not rest and could not stop coughing. He was screaming that his head hurt and he was thrashing in the bed. At 4:30 this morning our pediatrician came in and we decided to bring him here so that we would have more available to help him. Please pray that this does not damage Logan’s lungs permanently I keep praying that we will have one year that we do not have a major set back, it seems the more I pray for this the more things get thrown at us. I’m so worried about Logan’s long-term prognosis at this point with all of the things that have happened in the last two years. He is so strong, but for some reason he keeps getting thrown these curve balls in his path.
Just keep us in your prayers, as always, Brandon and I have not slept in three days more than three hours. We are tired and not at the top of our game right now. I will keep you posted, as I know more.
Kyla

Sunday, November 19, 2006 10:47 PM CST

We are leaving to take Logan to the ER he is not moving air well. He has coughed so much he has tightened down. We have done several breathing treatments but can't keep him in the 80's on 3 liters. I will post as I know. Right now we have an ICU bed at our local hospital

Saturday, November 18, 2006 11:02 PM CST

I will try to make this a brief update, but we all know how long winded I can be…..
Shortly after I updated last night things went from bad to worse, not only was Logan still coughing he also started dry heaving and actually throwing up. Every time he coughed he would gag and throw up. That would not be that terrible if he did not have his esophagus wrapped to keep ANYTHING from coming up. It is stitched tight so it was very painful for him and the fact that he actually was able to bring something up meant there was a lot of pressure each time. This went on until 1:30am , he did not do it as frequently after that, but he could not rest no matter what, we tried to go to bed and lay him down. We had been taking turns holding him in the recliner up until that point. He laid there for a while, but was so uncomfortable. Brandon let me lay down and he took over for a while then I came back on duty a couple hours later. He was so tired and weak his Oxygen levels were low due to short shallow breathes, so we had to use the blow by mask which takes 8 liters of oxygen to flow through at once to keep him from retaining Co2. This would not be a problem except as I told you previously they have put a limit on the amount of portable tanks we can have so we were running low this morning and thought we may have to take him to the hospital just because we would have no more tanks to give him the blow by treatment. Luckily he did not need it after 8:00 am so we were spared that trip We do have a concentrator that pulls oxygen out of the air and runs all the time, but it only goes to 4 liters and it has to have a certain PSI and flow to make it work like it does in the hospital otherwise it could be more harmful than helpful to him.
So now that everyone has had their lesson in oxygen I will proceed with the rest of the story. I called our pediatrician whom I love and she called in phenegran. That has helped so much, he is actually sleeping a little at a time now restfully, I am going to try to do that as well in a few minutes I hope.
Anyway I hope that tomorrow he feels much better. Thanks for your prayers, love and support. Also thanks for listening to my whining last night, I guess I was just tired and needed to let it out. Little did I know I would only get 2 hours of sleep last night. I must be running in overdrive because I have not gone to bed yet.
Update again soon,
Kyla

Friday, November 17, 2006 9:17 PM CST

Wow...
This week has been really exhausting. Logan has developed a viral sinus infection and persistent cough that will not stop. He started feeling worse yesterday and a;; he wanted to do was for me to hold him in the rocking chair and pat his back. He seemed to feel a lot better by afternoon and went to bed, but around 12:00 am he woke coughing. Brandon gave him a treatment through oxygen and he went back to bed. He woke again at 2:30 and I got up and gave him a treatment because he was dropping his SAT's I stayed up with him for about 45 minutes patting his back and he stopped coughing and fell asleep. Around 3:45 he woke up for the day and wanted to watch a movie. He acted Ok from then on for the most part coughing every now and then, but around 1:30 pm he started coughing and draining non stop. I gave him all the medicine I could, as well as a hot bath . He asked me then if we could go to the emergency room when daddy got home so he could go with us. I asked him what he wanted them to do and he said nothing, he just wanted to go. I have everything here that they would have. He is on an antibiotic, and steroids. We have all the breathing treatments and oxygen here so I wanted him to rest and then if he still feels bad tomorrow we will go. This is not an unusual illness for Logan it happens every season change, so it does not worry me, it is just tiring for all of us especially him He did sleep for an hour after the bath and then woke coughing again at 5:30 and has not stopped. His SAT's are Ok, but he is breathing fast from coughing so much and he is so tired. I gave him some hot tea and honey to sooth his throat along with Tylenol and the cough medicine we have. It is not a congested cough, it is an itchy irritating cough that does not produce anything. I did saline and deep suctioned which helped with the drainage, but he still coughs. The bad part is, Brandon and I are both feeling bad. I have a sinus infection and I feel like the left side of my face is in a vicescript (sp?). My teeth are even hurting. Brandon has a sore throat and he is just tired. We are both really tired, but nobody can relive us even if we had offers because no one really knows what to do for him all the time and they don't feel comfortable making the decision on what to try next if something does not work. Also we would not feel comfortable with it either, we just wish he could feel OK long enough for us to get some rest in between this cycles. He has been sick a solid 29 days today. It is really wearing on us. I know it could be worse and I probably would be OK if I had not been sick as well, first with the stomach bug and the migraine and now the sinus trouble. Anyway enough whining for tonight. Had to do get it all out so I can get over it and go on with what I have to do.
Please continue to pray for our family. Although we are home and not in the hospital, things are still very difficult and we still have no answers or knowledge when and if this will get better. We need all the prayers we can get. I know God will hear them all and will help us.
I will let you know if we have to take him back to the hospital tomorrow. I pray he gets some rest tonight and feels better tomorrow, I am avoiding the hospital at all cost for everyone’s sake. Too many germs and sick people. Also none of us are ready to go back yet.
Goodnight,
Kyla

Wednesday, November 15, 2006 11:15 AM CST

No real news to report at this time.
Logan had a rough weekend, but was better on Sunday afternoon. I on the other hand had a stomach bug and migraine (go figure). I am still feeling under the weather, but Logan has great moments and then bad. He had a really bad attack yesterday afternoon, and one at 3:45 this morning. He has done fine the rest of the day so far. His sleep schedule is really off right now, he has been getting up between 4:00 am and 5:00am every morning since Saturday. He has had alot of energy, which is great, but I am exhausted. He is really bored right now, but it is rainy and nasty outside so there is not much for us to do except stay here and find something to do. That is not making him very happy though. Anyway I have not heard from the doctor about the bronch yet. I am hoping that this will clear up with out it because of the risk that are involved with the procedure. Please keep praying that these episodes disappear and we go back to the already stressful and crazy life we had before this. Also pray for the recent insurance problems we are having right now. Seems that the insurance companies don't want to reimburse the home health companies for portable oxygen tanks so they are going to put a max of 9 a month on what they give us and we go through 12 a week, on a good week. It is just one more road block after another it seems. I know it is that way for alot of us, but it is just so hard to fight all the time for the things he needs as well as take care of his every day needs. Just tired I guess right now. I have been fighting with the insurance for 5 years and it has only gotten worse so I must just put my head down and fight on.
By the way;they did deny his synagis shots that protect against RSV, even after all the documentation we sent supporting the need.
Please keep Abby Cummings family in your prayers, as she has lost her battle with cancer and earned her wings this week.visit/abbycummings.
Thanks,
Kyla

Friday, November 10, 2006 8:49 PM CST

Well I thought I would give an update on the events of our life since we have been home. First we are very glad to be home, but we are still having the episodes full strength and Brandon and I are very tired and feeling more and more unsure of ourselves as each one comes on.
There was never a real determination as to what was causing the low Oxygen levels. All we knew when we left was that it wasn’t his heart (thank goodness ) and it did not appear that the reflux was playing a role in this either. The only thing we had to stand on was the possibility of him plugging off from thick mucus plugs deep in his lungs.
Tonight has been rough already and it has barely begun. He is on 2.5 to 3 liters with his oxygen levels ranging from 88 to 92. That is not horrible, but it is not good seeing as how he normally is on 1 to 1.5 liters and the levels are in the high 90’s. We gave him a saline treatment of 9% sterile saline through his nebulizer. It helped him cough more, then I deep suctioned him with our handy dandy suction machine that we have had since September. The thin catheter goes down his nose into his throat and can suction plugs and help to initiate a cough. It really was productive, but not a fix-all. Don’t know at this time if I have done more harm then good. I don’t think I did any harm, but you never know with Logan. The littlest thing can tip him over.
I called the pulmonogist today and asked about the VQ scan we did Monday. The nurse called back and said it showed 72% profusion (blood flow) in the right and 28% in the left. I don’t know if that is out of 100% or not, but I would guess it should be close. The Doctor said it was about what he had expected so at least it is not worse, but I don’t really know what he expected. I am going to talk to him Monday. He said the next step is a bronchoscope. It is risky, but we can’t go on not knowing or fixing the cause to this problem. Please continue to pray for answers so that Logan can have a better quality of life. These episodes came from somewhere and we have to find out the root of the problem and soon. I will update as things change. I have a theory, but it is lengthy and a complete guess so I will not bore you with it until I find out if it is legitimate. Thanks,
Kyla

Tuesday, November 7, 2006 9:08 AM CST

Quick update to let you know we are home. We got released yesterday afternoon.
Everything is fine other than one spell last night before bed. Glad to be home. Thanks for all the prayers!
Kyla

Monday, November 6, 2006 9:04 AM CST

Good Monday Morning,
We are still here at Vandi right now awaiting another test. The VQ scan that I mentioned last week was ordered for today. Again Logan can’t eat until after the test and at this time we are unsure of what time we are on for.
The weekend started out pretty good. Saturday morning Dr. Fazili (pulmonary) came in and wanted to try a hypertonic saline treatment on Logan to help break up in mucus plugs deep in his lungs. They use it on Cystic fibrosis patients and it is very successful. We did that around 11:30 am and went to the playroom after. We met my Aunt Karen down in the cafeteria for lunch and as soon as we set to eat Logan said he was tired and wanted to take a nap. We ate and Mom took him to the room while Karen and I cleaned up. When I walked into the hall way where his room was there were 5 people running around in our room. I got to the door and Logan’s oxygen levels were in the 60’s and he was miserable and crying. Long story short this went on for 7 hours and we did not know what had happened. I called Brandon and he came right away. We thought he had aspirated and that was what happened last year when he was rushed to the ICU and put on a ventilator. I was panicked and the resident Doctors on the floor were being a little snotty to me. First of all they walked in the room in the middle of the episode and wanted me to give his medical history and asked if anything like this had ever happened to him before. I looked at them and said we had been here 14 days having episodes like this and that was why we were still here. I asked them if they even looked at his chart or even knew his name. That did not make me their favorite person for the rest of the day. The story goes on and on and gets even more insane, but I will spare you the details and tell you I finally got them to call our pulmonologist and let me talk to him and he told me that the saline treatment had broken up a large plug and it had moved and clogged his major airway and we needed to do a lot of chest pt (where we pat his chest vigorously) and make him cough to clear it out. That was at 7:00 pm this all started at 1:00 pm. He did get better over the night and he is doing well now. We think that he may need to do those treatments more often to thin those plugs out so he can cough them out. They will need to be done under supervision for the first few times incase he reacts like that again. We will meet with the surgeon and the GI Doctor today as well as the test. I will let you know what we find out.
I just want to give a huge thank you to our family at BGMU for the wonderful event they planned last week to help raise money for Logan’s insurance problems we are having. You guys are wonderful and we love you and appreciate you so much! You have no idea how much you all have truly helped us.
Thanks to all for everything especially the prayers,
Kyla

Friday, November 3, 2006 8:40 AM CST

We just got back from the emptying scan to see how fast food empties out of Logan’s stomach. He had to drink chocolate milk with radioactive dye in it to help them follow as it passed. He had to lay on a narrow bed strapped from elbow to knee with Velcro straps and the machine came down over is head and stomach for 2 hours strait. He was so miserable as we were. He had not eaten since 5:30 Thursday morning and he finally got to eat at 11:30. He cried so hard we were trying anything to entertain him. We found a CD player in the room and a few CD’s. For those of you who don’t know, Logan has the same love for music as his mother, it’s just he only likes country music, so we put in Keith Urban and jammed for two hours. I had to sing lead in the microphone, Mom and the nurse were back up dancers and Logan shook the tamborine under the scanning device. The only problem was the CD was a single so we sang “love somebody like you” 10 times or more. We were all exhausted from the singing and dancing, but it got Logan through the test and that is all that matters. We had the music so loud that people were sticking their head in our room to see what was going on. We had a little audience. Anyway we should know the results of that test by late this afternoon. Then we have a VQ scan ordered sometime to check the ventilation and profusion in his lungs. He will have to inhale the nuclear medicine and then they will take a picture of his lungs with the same machine we used today every five minutes for 15 minutes. Not nearly as bad as today!
I dread another weekend here, they are lonely and everything is closed in the hospital except Taco Bell and Pizza Hut.
I will update as soon a I know anymore. I appreciate all of your replies. I enjoy reading them!
Kyla





It is 10:30 pm and we just got back to our room. The procedure lasted about three and a half hours and Logan did amazingly well through it all.
They were unable to place a stint due to the size of the pulmonary artery. We did not get a lot of info that we really didn’t already suspect. The heart function is good, the pressures are in the 40’s same as in the echo. He said they were mild to moderate. The amount of blood vessel volume in the right and left were a little less then I expected. I don’t know how I feel about the fact that I have a visual of how few blood vessels and how small they really are. Things are crazy here; I will finish in the morning.
OK Night was pretty smooth. Logan was crying a lot from the ansthesia. He could not get comfy because he could not move his leg for 6 hours. We are going down for a gastric emptying scan now I will update more later

Wednesday, November 1, 2006 9:38 PM CST

Well I know I said I would only update if I had any news to report, but I have been awake since 5:30 this morning thinking about this heart cath and all of the risk. I know that the risks are rare, but so is Logan’s condition. The one that truly is haunting me right now is risk of sudden death due to cardiac arrest. I am trying not to think of all of these risks. I know they are there and they have been there through everyone of his surgeries, but that does not make it any easier for me each time knowing we are chancing it again. I could refuse the cath and maybe never know how to help Logan with this problem or let his pulmonary hypertension get out of control beyond repair, but I can’t do that. I know and trust in the Doctors decision to go through with this. The benefit out ways the risk I guess. Unfortunately with Logan’s health problems the risk are increased.

“ Prayer Warriors” I ask of you what I always ask, that you please pray diligently that Logan come through this procedure with flying colors. Also pray that I can feel the peace of your prayers being answered deep within my soul.
I am not sure I can sit through the two or three hour procedure with out some sense of peace. I always pray that God’s plan for Logan reaches on for years and years and that I am apart of it always, but as we are all too well aware of, sometime Gods plan and our plans are not the same. That is what I fear the most.

Thanks for listening to me and praying for our sweet angel boy! Having all of your support and individual prayers means so much to us. Most days I look for your emails and guest book entries to get me through the day, so don’t hesitate to respond if you feel like it.
Kyla



Dr. Moore just came by for us to sign the consent form for tomorrow. The procedure is on the schedule between 2 and 3pm.. He has to have nothing by mouth after 6am so we will get him up at 5am for breakfast and then they will start an IV and do the blood work. He said that we need to be prepared for any other emergencies that might push him off the schedule until Friday, but we will do everything we can to keep it on tomorrow,
He said he would be able to look into his lungs at the vascular system to see how it was developed. We have never seen that before. Also if he needed to do a stint he could do it there in the cath lab. ( I thought it would have to be an open procedure, but he said they could do it just like an adult through the cath). Also they could close any vessels that were not functioning right. He said it could take up to two hours or more. They will primarily measure the pulmonary pressure. The cath is so much more accurate than the echo, so his pressures could be much higher than we think. If they are then they will give him nitric gas to see how well he responds to it to determine what type of medication would best suit his needs.
I will update with any news before the cath if I need to, or I will let you know when it is over.
Say lots of prayers tomorrow for the risk that are involved which include stroke, clot, bleeding, vessel damage, and death. I hate reading all of the risk, but they have to tell you. Pray that they are able to get a good measure of his pressure and that It is not high, also that that they can put a stint in to open the artery so that the pressures can go down. (if it is narrow all the way down they can’t do anything to help it other than medication) Pray that they see good vessels in his left lung, which gives us hope for the amount of function it has. Lastly Please pray for my and Brandon’ strength as Logan undergoes one more risky procedure.
Thanks to everyone at BGMU for all of the support you all have given us now and over the past five years. You all are absolutely amazing!!! We truly appreciate you more than you know.
Kyla, Brandon and Logan Byard

Wednesday, November 1, 2006 2:14 PM CST

We are still unsure what time the heart cath is scheduled for. We did get an X-ray and EKG today. We are waiting for them to come and get blood for labs and an IV. We have had three IV’s since we have been here.
He has had a pretty good day so far and I hope it continues.
Thanks for the extra prayers for Brandon’s grandfather and our friend Isaiah. They are both going home so all your prayers worked. Isaiah has croup and Brandon’s grandfather’s blood pressure medication was changed and he needed blood thinners as well, Also he will have to wear oxygen at night.
As soon as I know the time of the heart cath I will let you all know.
Kyla
ps check out ky/isaiah and look at his photo album to see the cutest halloween pictures ever!
Also please sign the guestbook and let us know you have been by. Logan and I check several times a day while we are here to read new entries

Wednesday, November 1, 2006 8:51 AM CST

Good Morning,
Last night they came in and told us the heart cath was scheduled for Thursday afternoon. They could not get him on for today. We had a good night, Logan slept really well and so did Brandon and I. This morning he has had two episodes and when we checked him just now after a treatment he was a 82 %. We turned his oxygen up an I will check it again in a minute. He does not act like he feels bad or anything. That scares me to know that he could drop like that at home and I would never know if he was that low because he just does not look like it.
I will let you know for sure what time as soon as I know.
Kyla

Tuesday, October 31, 2006 11:30 AM CST

We had a really rocky night with Logan. He was very hard to deal with starting around 6:oo pm and was ready for bed around 7:30. He tossed and turned all night and we got no sleep. He was constantly pulling his cannulas out and dropping his oxygen levels.
The alarm went off 40 times last night it seemed.
Still do not know what is causing these episodes. We are waiting for Dr. Moore the cardiologist to come in and tell us if they can get him on the schedule for a heart cath tomorrow. He had a heart cath before he had open heart in 2002. There are a lot of risks, but they are rare and it is necessary to find out what is going on in his heart and vessels.
Dr. Moore just came in and said we would either have the cath tomorrow afternoon or Thursday afternoon. We will know for sure by this afternoon. Please keep us in your prayers that they can find out what is causing these episodes and that the heart cath goes very smooth with no complications. These procedures make me very nervous to say the least.
Brandon is on his way here now, I called him and told him that I really needed him to be here to face all this with me. I will let you know when the procedure is scheduled for sure by tonight. Thanks for everything!
Kyla
Ps our friend Isaiah is here in the ICU. He was admitted last night. Please keep him in your prayers as well as Brandon’s grandfather who is at St. Thomas for heart problems that they are unable to pin point at this time.

Monday, October 30, 2006 7:38 AM CST

Monday Morning
No news over the weekend, just a long drawn out few days.
The Dr. covering for our lung Dr. came in to see us and based on what we were telling her about these episodes and his history, she seemed to think that it was cardiac related instead of lung related.
We now have to meet with our cardiologist and see what she thinks. Of course I have been really stressing over that this weekend because that was never even in question after the echo came back unchanged. She thinks his vessels are constricting causing his blood pressure to bottom out, which causes airway constriction.
So we will just wait today for all of the specialist to come in and give their opinion. I have no idea when we will get to come home. I had his Halloween outfit brought just in case.
Brandon went home last night and my Grandmother is here with me now. It really takes two people to keep Logan occupied and stay on top of his medications.
Please continue to keep us in your prayers; I truly felt the power of the Lord several times over the last two days. Total strangers have prayed with me for Logan and kept our spirits up. This month has been a hard anniversary month for me. This time last year Logan was finally getting to come home after his long battle and I also lost a very close friend one year ago yesterday. Please just pray for her family and also us as well. I know this has been a very hard year for them.
I will keep you posted
Kyla

Thursday, October 26, 2006 4:47 PM CDT

This day is almost over and I could not be happier!!!!
They came and got Logan around 11:15 for the procedure. He had begged me and pleaded with me for a drink of water for 5 hours. Things were getting tense to say the least.
They told me the procedure would last 15 minutes and they let me walk him back to the room, but I had to hand him off at the door. As usual that is the hardest part for me to hand him to someone else and trust in their care for him. We were both crying, but I managed to walk back to the waiting room and sit patiently. The 15 minutes turned into 45 minutes and I started to pace. I was so afraid something had gone wrong with anesthesia and he was having problems breathing. I was really tense and nervous. My mom was here, but Brandon is at home working. I started off down to hall to find someone who could tell me what was going on and I saw Logan’s GI Doctor cross the hall. He saw me and could obviously see the fear in my eyes. He said that Logan had done fine they had just had a really hard time getting the probe to thread down into his stomach. It seems his tonsils and throat are swollen. I can already foresee another surgery (tonsillectomy). Anyway they had got everything done and he was fine they just had to wake him up now.
I walked back to the waiting room to tell Mom and Brandon’s aunt and Uncle that he was fine and then I heard a loud scream for Momma and I knew who it was from two halls over. It was Logan and he was ticked off to and giving them a run for their money. He was thrashing in the bed and rolling trying to get that tube out of his nose and out of the bed. They asked me to wait in the hall until they got him settled. It took a little while but now we are back in our room and he can eat and drink freely. They will take the probe out tomorrow afternoon and it will be Monday probably before we get results. My Mom is here now and I am exhausted. I am going to try and rest if I can, I feel like I have been in a fight and the other guy won!!!
Thanks for all the prayers and energy sent our way today. They were all answered, and so say I am grateful is an understatement!!!
Kyla

Thursday, October 26, 2006 8:03 AM CDT

Well we had a rough night!
Logan had to have another IV put in around 9:00 pm last night. He got so upset that he caused himself to have even more problems breathing. He was up and down all night long with his oxygen. He is on 3 liters right now, which is more than he has had to be on for this long of a time. I really feel like he has fluid on his lungs by the way he is going up and down and the way he sounds. The nurse this morning said he sounded wet in his lungs. I gave him an extra dose on Lasix (diuretic) because they are not giving it to him through the IV. I am very frustrated to say the least and the hole that is burning in my stomach is getting bigger and hurting more and more.
We are scheduled for the PH probe at 12:00p and they are going to sedate him for it. We always have to worry about him being sedated because of his breathing so they are going to take him to the OR to place it. He can’t have anything to eat or drink until after it is placed. That could be 1:00 or 2:00 pm. He has been begging me for a drink since he woke at 6:00am. In the mean time I don’t know what they are going to do to keep these episodes from getting worse. He keeps having more and more each day. Please pray that the sedation goes well and they place the probe with no complications also that I make it through this day trying to keep him from eating or drinking as well as keeping his oxygen levels up. I am losing momentum and I feel like I am running out of steam. I need a burst of energy and hope sent my way. So please will me energy and determination today.
Thanks for prayers, love and support,
Kyla

Wednesday, October 25, 2006 8:27 AM CDT

Good Morning All,
Well we have some positive news to report.
Logan’s Echo came back unchanged, so his Pulmonary Hypertension is not causing this. That is very good!!!!
The upper GI showed the wrap around his stomach still in intact, so that means it has not come undone again. That is very good!!!
So now we still don’t know what is causing these attacks, he had 3 yesterday. The Nurses were shocked that he could go down so fast with no warning. I had tried to tell them, but all they could see was Logan being active and playful up until the very second before this start. There is nothing associated with them except he becomes tired, and agitated and his color only changes a little. I can see him start to retract in his neck where he is trying to pull in more oxygen. No coughing or wheezing, nothing. He cannot tell us either how he feels right before hand either.
My Aunt Karen took Brandon and I down to the restaurant right outside the hospital for supper last night and before we could get the bill paid, Dad called and said he was having another attack so we ran back to the hospital and there were 3 nurses and 2 Doctors in our room trying to get his oxygen back up. I told them before I left what to do, but no one listens to me. Anyway my mom was holding him and he was in a panic because his oxygen levels were n the 60’s. I asked if they started the breathing treatment like I said to do and of course they said no they were waiting for the Respiratory therapist to get there. I told them I did not have time to wait and started the treatment. Within 2 minutes Logan’s levels started to rise and he started to recover and calm down. They were all stunned at how fast it happens and how fast he recovered with the right method of treatment.
Anyway more talking today to see what this could be. I will let you know more as I do.
Thanks,
Kyla

Tuesday, October 24, 2006 12:30 AM CDT

Hello Everyone,

Here we go again…..
That is all I can keep saying to myself right now.
We had to take Logan to the ER in BG very urgently Friday afternoon. He was having great difficulty breathing and was requiring over 3 liters of oxygen. We were admitted with the thought that he had fluid on his lungs. The plan was to increase diuretics and see how things went. He did well all night and all day Saturday. We were ready to be discharged, all that was left to do was sign the paperwork and BOOM, he had another spell where his oxygen levels dropped drastically in a matter of minutes for no known reason.
Needless to say we did not get to go home. We got him all stabilized with breathing treatments and things seem to go well. We decided that he needed more lasix (diuretic) to get the fluid off and we went home Sunday afternoon. 3 hours after we were home he had another spell. Then another 2 hours later. We got him to bed and he did really well until 2:30 am and from then on we knew we had to get him to Vanderbilt.
We got him all stabilized, packed the car and headed to the ER here at Vandi.
He had great trip down and did extremely well in the ER. The X-ay that they read said he had right upper lobe plugging. They wanted to do the percussion therapy like we do at home more frequently. At 3:00 pm he had a MAJOR attack and he dropped from 94% oxygen to 70% in two minutes. They were unprepared for this so it took longer to get the equipment in his room to start a treatment and get him settled. He had a panic attack because they were not able to help him immediately like we do at home. I was about to have a major attack myself, but I knew I had to keep Logan calm. He dropped all the way to the 50’s before they could get everything in place.
Long story short we are here at Vandi under observation. I feel deep in the pit of my stomach that this is reflux related or maybe it is just my ulcer that I am feeling. Brandon and I both have said this feels too familiar and we are pretty frightened that it is in fact reflux.
They ordered an echo to check his heart and we go for an upper GI at 2:45 to check his nissen surgery, that he has had twice in less than a year. I pray that this is not it, but I want an answer as to why he is having these horrible attacks. I am terrified all the time that he will have one, and I am almost afraid to be with him alone because it takes so much to get him better, and I am only one person. Please pray for us that we find an answer and that Logan does not get any worse before we do. I can’t tell you how we feel right now, it has been right at year that we escaped from the nightmare that this reflux started. Thanks to all for your kindness, love and support,
Kyla

Thursday, October 5, 2006 9:38 AM CDT

Well as crazy as it sounds, were home!!!!! I know I can't believe it either. I don't think we have ever gotten out that quick, but I am not complaining. Logan improved greatly and there was still no beds available so the pulmonologist thought we would be fine at home since we have everything here, but an IV. He is going to try him on low dose steriods for a month and see how he does. I will have to look for work to help support the extra grocery bill when eats me out of house and home, no kidding!!
I will update soon,
Kyla




Hello,
Logan was transported from our pediatrician’s office in BG yesterday by ambulance to Vanderbilt around 3:00 pm
He was having a similar episode as last time. Low Oxygen levels and he was not moving air. His lungs were very tight. The were successful in placing an IV so we were able to get the magnesium drip we got last time that helped so much. There are no beds available so we will be in the ER until there is one available. That is not looking too good right now though. I am hoping we will not be here very long since he has improved so quickly. He is on steroids and they did a continuous albuterol treatment through the afternoon and evening yesterday. He is bouncing off the walls and eating everything in sight. He is still on 2 liters and his Oxygen levels are bouncing around, but he looks good. I will let you know more as I do. Thanks for your prayers, love and support!
Kyla

Tuesday, September 19, 2006 9:48 PM CDT

Well Logan had an outstanding birthday, if I do say so myself.
First I had our neighbor, Kaley who is Logan's age as well as his girlfriend come and spend the day with us.
I took them and my Grandmother, who shares a birthday with Logan(she is 81 today) to breakfast.
Then we went to Imagination Station. An indoor playground with 15 or so inflatable bouncy toys. We got to play for an hour and a half going down the slides and playing in the ball pits and climbing up things and aroung obstacle courses. Of course with the oxygen, every move Logan made I was right with him, Let me tell you I got all the cardio I needed clmbing those rope ladders and going up and down the inflatable slides. Then we went to Chaney's for ice cream. We left there and went to Toys R Us where they gave him a balloon and a crown and announced his birthday over the loud speaker. Our Pharmacist at CVS sang happy birthday to him over the intercom when we went to get his medicine today too.
Then I took them for a snack at Taco Bell. We came home and he took a nap then we went to eat supper at his favorite mexican restaurant with my Mom, Dad and brother, Grandmother, Brandon's Mom and Ken, and three friends.He got a Thomas the Tank Cake and the servers put a sombraro on him and sang Happy Birthday in spanish. I will post the pictures tomorrow. It was great. We are having his party Sunday since it was cancelled due to the hospital stay. I think he really had a great time. I hope he did anyway. I am exhausted!!!!!! This birhtday was wonderful and a blessing compared to the last one.
He was put on life support the morning of his fourth birthday, we have come along way! I am soooo grateful for all that God had blessed us with in Logan. He is truly amazing!!!!
I will get the pictures up as aoon as I get a chance.
Kyla

Monday, September 18, 2006 9:07 AM CDT

Good Monday morning all,
We were released Saturday afternoon from vandi.
Logan is doing much better. He has to take Steroids for a few days and an anitibiotic for 12 days 2 times a day.
He had a sinus infection and severe bronchitis due to ragweed, like so many of us have had.
Tomorrow is his fifth birthday and today is mine and Brandon's 7th Wedding anniversary. Unbelievable!! on both. I can't believe Logan is 5. It doesn't seem like that is possible, but then again it feels like it was an eternity ago when he was born and all this started. He has come so far and has gotten so big and really is growing up. Brandon and I could not be more proud of him and the person he is becoming.
Thanks for the love, prayers and support as always.
Kyla

Monday, September 18, 2006 9:07 AM CDT

Good Monday morning all,
We were released Saturday afternoon from vandi.
Logan is doing much better. He has to take Steroids for a few days and an anitibiotic for 12 days 2 times a day.
He had a sinus infection and severe bronchitis due to ragweed, like so many of us have had.
Tomorrow is his fifth birthday and today is mine and Brandon's 7th Wedding anniversary. Unbelievable!! on both. I can't believe Logan is 5. It doesn't seem like that is possible, but then again it feels like it was an eternity ago when he was born and all this started. He has come so far and has gotten so big and really is growing up. Brandon and I could not be more proud of him and the person he is becoming.
Thanks for the love, prayers and support as always.
Kyla

Friday, September 15, 2006 10:36 AM CDT

Hello everyone,
We were transported from Greenview Hospital, were we had been since Tuesday, to Vanderbilt by ambulance last night around 10:00 pm. Logan had a severe asthma attack Tuesday from the allergens and rain in the air. We were admitted and hoped that several breathing treatments and steroids would help, but we were not successful. He took a turn for the worse yesterday morning. We spent several hours in the croup tent and treatments every two hours, but still he would not loosen up in his chest. He looked good and was playing, but he was not moving air very well. They tried two times to get a capillary blood gas to check his Co2 and Ph levels, but no luck. Then they had the anthistisioligist come to try and start an IV, still no luck. They also tried to do an arterial blood gas where they stick a syringe right into his brachial artery in the arm to get blood, no luck. Needless to say were very stressed out yesterday.
Anyway were here on the 6th floor at Vanderbilt and he is doing better. They gave him some Magnesium sulfate to help relax the lung tissue and his treatments have been moved to three hours apart. He looks better and acts like he feels better too. He is already bossing everyone!!!
The Birthday party has been cancelled for Sat. so please pass it along to whoever needs to know. I will keep you posted as things progress.
I try not to be superstitious, but last year when we were admitted for the long stretch it was on September 12th, we were admitted this Tuesday September 12th as well. WIERD!!!!!!! Well lets just pray that this time it is a lot different than the last.
Kyla

Monday, September 11, 2006 10:14 AM CDT

Good morning all,
I hope everyone's weekend was great!
I want to thank everyone for the prayers that were sent up for our friend Isaiah. They were unable to succesfully pull the vent so they had to do a tracheostomy a week ago. He is on the regular floor now and today he will be having his cleft pallett surgery and going back to the PCCU. I ask that you keep him in your prayers all day so that he can get through this and begin his healing process so he can come home!!! Also for his mother and Father to contnue to give them this indescribeable strength they posses.

We went to the cardiologist a week ago Thursday. Logan's pulmonary pressures were still in the mid 30's which she said his heart was handling fine and he looked great. I am very happy, but I was under the impression the last visit that his pressures were down to normal. I guess I just assumed since she said eveything looked great and his pressures were down that meant they were normal. The most important thing is that his heart is handling things well. He is still up and down on the O2 alot. We are on 1.5 liters today and only 1 liter Friday. I would like to get him back to .5 liter so we can start his liquid O2 back up .The tank is so much lighter and he can put it on his back like a back pack and be more mobile. The problem is that once he requires a liter or more it becomes on demand. Where it only gives him a puff of oxygen when he breathes. Now he is on continuos where it comes out all the time and that is what he is used to. He can not do the other.
Logan starts the big red school Thursday. He will only go from 4:00 pm to 5:00pm one day a week for social skills to help him interact with other children. There will only be 7 kids in the class and they know how to take care of Logan and they will monitor for children who are sick so he will not be exposed, hopefully!!!! This is a start he is so bored I know he needs interaction, but the fear of him getting sick and not recovering after all he has been through terrifies me! I hope everyone is doing well, I think about you all the time! Please sign the GB and let us know you were here. We love to read the entries.
Kyla

Friday, August 25, 2006 9:57 AM CDT

If you would like an update on Isaiah please go to his website. ky/isaiah
Thank you for all that prayed for that sweet boy. He is very stable and still on the vent, hopefully it will be pulled today. Please visit his website and sign in and let his parents know how special he is to all. Also thanks to those who signed in our GB. We love to hear from you. I know I don't update that much, I ususally only do it when I have news to report. Other than allergies Logan has done well. We had a bad spell today when we tried to eat lunch with a friend. He got hot and was dusky, he was breathing hard so I had to go to the car and give him two breathing treatments. Once we got home in a cool, he was fine.
I will journal again soon.
Kyla




I need all of the prayer warriors to please begin praying for my dear friends little boy, Isaiah. I have spoke of him several times on Logan's site and I really need for you all to pray for him. He was life flighted to Vandi yesterday afternoon. He went into acute respiritory distress from what they think might have been a SEVERE siezure. His mom Nicki was at the grocery store and his SAT's dropped from the 90's all the way into the 60's in a very short time. She had to take him to a hospital that had never seen him before and they had to intubate him and start and emergency IV right in his bone because of poor access. He is at Vandi in the PICU right now doing better, but he is still on the vent and they are unsure exactly what caused this extreme episode.
Thank you for your devoted prayers.
Kyla

PS please sign in the GB we miss reading your entries.

Thursday, August 10, 2006 9:34 PM CDT

Sorry it has taken me awhile to update.
Logan has been doing well. The heat and humidity has been hard on him as well as everyone else I know. We went to the pulmonologist Monday and he was very happy with him. He was on 1/2 liter and doing great. Today he is back up to 1 liter, but I think his sinuses are bothering him.
I have been busy lately. I started a job doing medical examines for Life insurance companies. It is really flexible and I can schedule with applicants after Brandon is home. I get paid per Physical and it is decent pay. I am so glad to finally have a form of income that is flexible around Logan's health and schedule. I am enjoying being back in the medical field. I have to complete a medical questionaire and then get a blood sample, height weight, blood pressure and that kind of stuff. So far it has worked well.
I guess I will update as anything else comes up.
The next 2 months are going to be busy. Logan will be 5 in September, we always have a blow out for him. My sister Kelli is getting married on the 29th of Sept. Our 7th wedding ann. is the 18th of sept. And then we are supposed to take Logan's Make a Wish trip to Disney in Oct. if he is well enough. So we will be busy.
Hope everyone is doing well you are all close in my heart and my prayers.
Kyla

Saturday, July 15, 2006 2:37 PM CDT

Today is a better day!!!
Logan's appt went fine, his lungs looked better on the X-ray. However; they did see a lot of air in his belly pushing up on his Diaphragm. This could be causing his rapid breathing. Since he does not have G-tube we can't vent him to help rid the excess air in his gut. He swallows alot of air being a mouth breather and since his esophagus is wrapped he can't belch to releive it. There is only one way out, if you know what I mean. We are going to have to help that process along so that he does not get so bloated and full and cause such discomfort.
I am feeling a little better, alot better where Logan is concerned! I am just having some issues and I am dealing with them. Maybe it is the heat or maybe it is just time I dealt with a few things that I have been avoiding.
I am just going to face my fears head on and get on with my life with my wonderful family, who need me in good spirits and healthy! Thanks to all for your love and concern. You are truly an extended family that I don't know what I would do with out!
Kyla

Tuesday, July 11, 2006 8:20 PM CDT

My emotions are about to drive me insane. Some would argue that I am already there, but none the less I feel like I could go even farther over the edge here lately.
I can't pin point any one thing to explain it, but I am so scared for Logan's future latley that I am being paralyzed with fear.
He has really good days and then not so good days and then bad days. You never know from one day to the next which of those it will be. I think it is so hard for me to be in this Yo-Yo affect.
Yesterday he was fine and he played and had energy. Of course when he was outside the humidity was hard on him and we had to take several breaks. Today he woke up fine and then all the rest of the day he has been crying and breathing fast he has been pale and complaining fo pain in his stomach and chest. I had to give him 5 breathing treatments by 2:00pm I made an appt. with our Vandi lung Doc for 10:00 a.m. tomorrow because this seems to be a pattern. One good day, then a few bad.
What is scaring me is not that he is so sick or in bad such bad shape, it is that I am not sure why he does not have any strength and what does this mean. I read into and analyze things way too much, but I can't help it.
In the last few months several of the caring bridge kids that I followed closely who I thought would get better did not and they are no longer with us. A couple we met at vandi just lost there baby as well. It is really weighing on me. All of these kids had GREAT parents who loved them more than anything. That is not enough as one Mom said. I know that the reality is, no matter how much I do and how much he is loved by all and how hard we work to make him better, it is not going to matter if that is not what God has in store for Logan. That is really frightening. I am not as excepting as I should be. don't get me wrong I am am so very greatful for all the miracles I have wittnessed through Logan. I am just scared, as every mother and father who has a sick child is. Some days the fears take over, those are the bad days. Today was a bad day.
I will let you know how the appt. goes.
Thanks for listening to me, I needed to vent. glad you were there to listen
Kyla

Wednesday, July 5, 2006 9:47 AM CDT

Well I will make this short since Logan just deleted the long journal entry I had made with the touch of one key.
I hope everyone had a wonderful 4th of July with their family celebrating our countries accomplishments and freedom. We were able to all be together asa family and we had a great time. Logan had a few bad asthma attacks, but he recovered and is fine. I will update later this week.
Kyla

Sunday, June 25, 2006 7:38 AM CDT

Good Sunday Morning All,
It took us a few days to get things in sink, but I think we are through the rough patch. Logan has done remarkably well with his healing and he has not required pain medicine in a few days. He is eating well, almost too much. He gets his little belly so full that it swells up and he is miserable for a while. We re trying to get him to slow down, but I guess after they starved him for a week he is just catching up. We feel very blesed to know that all of our prayers and your prayers for Logan have been and are still being answered. He is such a special little boy!!! He is so strong it amazes me each time he goes through something like this how fast he bounces back.
On Monday morning at the hospital they had to pull his chest tube. it was stichted in a hole in his side. Logan never cried or moved, he laid there holding my hand and one of his nurse's hands while they cut stitches and then when they pulled the tube out he never flinched even as they tied off the sutchures. I couldn't help but tear up knowing his strength. All of the people assisting commented on how tough he was. Anyway I wanted to share that with you , because it still amazes me every time.
The only thing that we are still having trouble with here is the two "HORRIBLE" antibiotics he has to take three times a day for 10 days and he is still not sleeping at night. He whines and tosses all night until I get him up and rock him. I am really tired, but I figure I have the rest of my life to catch up on the 5 years of sleep I have lost :o) i will update soon. Just remember no news is good news. That means we are having too much fun to get on the computer. (I hope)
Kyla

Tuesday, June 20, 2006 11:36 AM CDT

Logan is home, things are rocky. I will update as soon as I can

Saturday, June 17, 2006 12:41 AM CDT

Well Logan is not on the ventilator, woo hoo!!! I stayed with him until 3:00am making him sit up and cough so that he would get better oxygen. Around 2:45 they did a blood gas and his CO2 and PH levels were still off they were talking about Bi-pap and things that made my skin crawl. They did an X-ray as well to see if he had collapsed a lung. I was about to panic. I told them to give him time to catch up; He did not need their help yet.
I was about to have a serious panic attack so I went to the sleep room and got Brandon to come and set with him and keep them from doing any of that stuff to him. I wanted to be alone in the quiet so I could clear my mind and pray really hard. It worked.
Brandon came back at 6:45 am for shift change and said he was doing a lot better and they were going to back off of wanting to support him any more, they were going to give him time. I was so glad.
He is still on 2 liters nasal cannula and 35% aerosol mask. We want to taper the aerosol and just have the cannula like he has at home. His chest is very sore and he does not want to cough. He really needs to cough, but I understand why he does not want to.
He is feeling some better because he is already harassing me to eat. We have to wait for the Doctors to OK that. I will update later as anything changes.
Thanks
Keep praying!!
Kyla

Friday, June 16, 2006 8:02 PM CDT

Logan has had a really good day. Around 6:00 pm they pulled the breathing tube. He is not awake enough right now to really take good deep breaths so things are a little rocky.
He is a lot of pain so they have to give him morphine, which makes him sleepy so we are in limbo right now. The shift change is going on so we can’t be in there so I am really nervous to find what has happened while we were gone. I pray that we will to have to intubate again. I hope he will get comfy and start taking deep breaths.
It will be a long night so please pray for him to not have to go back on the vent. I will update if anything changes tonight, if not I will update in the morning.
Thank you to all of our visitors today who came with very special and thoughtful gifts!!!! You all know who you are. We love you and appreciate you so very much!
Love,
Kyla, Brandon and Logan

Please sign in the Guest book so we know you have been by.

Friday, June 16, 2006 9:00 AM CDT

Logan came out of surgery around 11:00pm last night.
He did really well through out the entire procedure.
Dr. Morgan had a lot of scar tissue and things to clean up as well as move away from the site he needed to get to. They had been operating 4 hours before they started repairing the problem. Logan was a trouper through the whole thing and is doing well. It was so late when he came out of surgery that they did not take the breathing tube out because of the pain and anesthesia. We hope for that to happen today. I will keep you posted when that happens. He has a chest tube at the site and it will have to stop draining before they take it out. He will probably need a blood transfusion as well.
I will post again soon. Thank you for all your prayers they were truly answered yesterday. Now we must pray for the tube to come out and no infections!!!!
Kyla

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 8:00 PM CDT

OK Logan is in surgery right now. We are on pins an needles and they said it would be 9:00 or so before he is out. Keep praying.

Today has been a long day.
Around 12:00pm they came and got Logan and myself to take him to have ANOTHER IV placed.
It took three sticks and they finally got a good one.
We were than taken to the ICU to have PIC line placed. This is a surgical procedure to secure a very good IV that will not come out or blow. They can also put very strong medication in it that would not go in a regular IV.
This procedure required Logan to be heavily sedated. I had to sign a consent saying that if he had a reaction to the sedation or if he encountered breathing problems that they could intubate (ventilator) I was so sick to my stomach signing that you could not even imagine.
Things went OK, it took three tries (a total of 15 sticks since we got here) and they got it in but could not thread it up as far as it needed to go, so now we can use it, but it is not a reliable as the real thing.
When we came back in to see him he was not yet awake from the medication so we had to stimulate him to get him to open his eyes. He started thrashing and blood started gushing everywhere from his arm. I mean a lot of blood. Brandon almost got down. The site that they had tried before they got it in this vein had broken the clot and was really flowing. They had to work hard keeping pressure on it and getting it bandaged up before they could let us go. Again another nightmare.
We got back and were greeted by our lung Doctor who said he saw our surgeon a little while earlier and that he wanted to do the surgery tomorrow. So right now we are on the schedule for Thursday between 10:00 and 12:00 noon. So that is the plan for right now. I will post as soon as I know any thing more.
Thanks for all you r love, prayers, and support, they are truly comforting to us right now.
Kyla

Wednesday, June 14, 2006 9:29 AM CDT

Hello everyone,
As of 10:00pm last night Logan’s surgery has been postponed. The surgery schedule became full from emergency procedures and they have pushed him back until Friday we think. That is not a guarantee either right now. They knew this at 9:00am yesterday morning and did not tell anyone. My Mom and Dad and sister came last night and got a hotel room and came to the hospital to let us get some supper. While we were gone our Pulmonary Dr. came in and mom asked him what time they would take him back in the morning and he said, I think they have rescheduled him to Friday, but I am not certain”. Well sure enough they had and no one told us. I was fuming because this is what happened last year. They kept pushing us back because even though it is life threatening for Logan it is not considered an emergency surgery, so they keep shoving us back and he ended up getting really sick and he aspirated and you know the rest of the story.
Logan is doing great right now, but it is only a matter of time before he has another bad reflux episode and we only hope it does not make him any sicker. We are on pins and needles trying to preserve his health as it is right now. The surgery team is supposed to come and talk to us today and tell us for sure about Friday. While all of this was going on, they had to place Logan’s third IV and now he has been stuck a total of 9 times since we have been here and the IV failed about 30 minutes after they got it in on the third try. So now we don’t have an IV for antibiotics or steroids. So we know they will have to get one in somewhere.
Now we wait 2 more days trying to keep him entertained and not get him upset in this room that is as big a walk in closet. We are a little on the miserable side. We are also supposed to limit his food intake to avoid extra chance of reflux. The only problem is that he is on steroids and it makes him very hungry all the time. He has told me 100 times he is starving even though he is eating. Just keep praying please that we make through the next few days OK and Logan can have surgery Friday and all goes perfect!
Thanks!!!
Love,
Kyla, Brandon and Logan

Tuesday, June 13, 2006 10:23 AM CDT

Logan had a good night last night. We all got a little sleep and that has done us a lot of good. He is still on an increased amount of Oxygen, but that is OK. Right now he is on 35% coming through a humidified mask. He does not like the mask and we are hoping to get him back to his nasal cannulas today. So far surgery is still on for the morning. We must pray very hard for Logan to remain steady or improved today so that this will be possible. We do not want to rock the boat. He is very irritable, but so are we. Keeping him occupied is not the easiest job right now. We had a lot of family visit yesterday and that helped, I am hoping to see so more friendly faces soon.
They have decided not to place the PIC line until tomorrow in the OR. They did not want to sedate him until he had a breathing tube in place. So we went from no food or drink to very soft pureed foods. He is not thrilled with his selection, but it is better than nothing.
Please pray for a good day and no setbacks. So that we can go forward tomorrow. This is going to be a difficult surgery for Logan and the recovery will be no walk n the park, so please just keep praying for him. I know you all will. I have been overwhelmed by the email responses of prayer chains going out. Thank you so much for that.
I will update again as soon as I know more.
One more prayer please. Pray that we do not have to start another IV today. The on he has is still working OK, but it has a lot of different meds going through it and they are also drawing blood for labs from it. We need it to keep working today so we do not have to put him through a 7th stick.
Love,
Kyla
Ps please sign in the Guest book so we know who has been by. It means alot to us.

Monday, June 12, 2006 10:30 AM CDT

Logan was transported yesterday morning by ambulance to Vanderbilt. We were able to bring him home from the ER the night before, but he got worse as time went by.
We spent 9 hours in the ER here and then were taken to room around 9:00 pm last night.
Logan is stable, but the problem now is that he has an aspiration pneumonitis, what that means is, it is not pneumonia yet, but it is very inflamed and that area of the lung is not working properly. It is causing him to need increased Oxygen and breathing treatments. He is also having trouble with his CO2 levels. They are elevated and are bordering on the real bad side. That means is hypo ventilated, where he is taking in lots of oxygen but not exchanging it and blowing off the carbon dioxide that is in it. The way to fix it if it gets really bad is the ventilator. NEED TO STAY AWAY FROM THAT!!!!!!
Right now they are keeping him on the schedule for Wed. for surgery, if he does not get any worse. They want to take him off of all food and drink by mouth and put a PIC line in to deliver nutrition to keep any food from aspirating out of his tummy into his lungs. Only problem is that they have to sedate him to place the line and Logan does not do well with his breathing when he is sedated. They have already stuck him six times, 4 for IV’s and two were arterial sticks to get blood for the test on his CO2 levels. Those are painful because they are directly in an artery.
All I can ask for is that you please pray, pray, pray for him. He has so many things going against him; we need God to cut him a break. I know all of our prayers combined will not fall on deaf ears.
Love and Thanks for all of the support!
Kyla

Saturday, June 10, 2006 9:24 PM CDT

Just wanted to let you know that things have made a drastic change for the worse around here.
Logan's reflux and breathing episodes have increased more than double. He can barely get through as few hours with out a bad Oxygen drop and severe asthma attack.
We spent all day at the ER trying to get his levels back up with lots and lots of Oxygen and breathing treatments. Srugery has been moved up to Wed the 14th of June because of this. I am hoping that he can stay strong until then. Please, Please keep him in your prayers so that he is well enough to undergo this serious procedure and get well. Prayers are what we need now more than anything. Pray for his complete healing on earth and that he go through this srugery with out any complications and that everything is fixed and no infection and anything else you think of. Thanks for everything. I will keep you posted
Kyla
PS I am a nervous wreck right now, sorry post is so choppy

Thursday, May 25, 2006 10:08 PM CDT

We went last week for a Gastric emptying scan, boy was than fun :( And everything was normal there so the earliest surgery date for the procedure is July 18th. He says he needs at least seven hours. This time he wants to go in through his chest wall and fix it from above to prevent any extra scar tissue around his belly if they ever need to go in that way again. He already has an enormous amount. This is called a Thoracotomy, which means hole in the chest. They said they would not break any ribs and they would try to not cut the chest muscle is they could help it to prevent even more pain. This does not sound very easy to me especially with Logan's poor lungs. He will have to have a chest tube for a while and be in the ICU again. The problem will be the ventilator with his cest being so sore. Please pray that this all goes well and that he is strong for the surgery. He is having some increased episodes lately and they are worrying me. I just hope we can make it to July the 18th and keep him doing well. I will post more later.




It has been a long day!!!!!

Logan had a wonderful night and had no more episodes with his breathing. He awoke at 5:30 am ready to eat, imagine that. They came in at 10:30 and pulled the Ph probe and got another chest Xray. Around 4:30pm the GI Dr's came in and said that Logan did show signs of reflux on his Ph study. they were not significant, but each time he coughed or his oxygen levels dropped it was associated with reflux. Then Dr. Morgan (surgeon) came in and said that it did infact look like the wrap had pushed up through the hiatis where the esophafus comes into the stomach through the diaphragm. He said that it is the most common problem they have with that surgery and with Logan, it needed to be fixed as soon as it could while he is still doing well and he would be at his best for another surgery. He said that they would try to reinforce that area as much as they could, but that would mean that it would be pretty tight at first and he may not be able to swallow until it loosened up some so he thought that a G-tube( surgically placed feeding tube) in his stomach would be a good idea so that if he can't eat we would have a way to feed him instead of taking him back to the operating room. They have scheduled a gastic emptying test tomorrow to see how fast his stomach empties food and then we should go home until they get him on the schedule for surgery, probably next week.

I am a not shocked, but saddened that he will have to be put through another operation with anesthsia and a ventilator. He is very high risk no matter what they do. I am a little relieved that at least we know what is causing these sudden attacks and there is a was to fix it. Even though it is not the way I would prefer, at least there is a way.

All I can ask of you all is that you please pray for logan's strength and that he does not have any more bad episodes until they can get this fixed and that his surgery go very smooth and that he can heal quickly so that he can be a little boy again.

Thank you for all of your thoughts and prayers. It means alot to see your email responses and guest book entires on caring bridge. I look forward to reading them and feel the team rooting us on while we are in this prison.

I will let you know as soon as I know anymore.

Kyla

Wednesday, May 24, 2006 10:42 PM CDT

I just wanted to let everyone know that Logan was admitted to Vanderbilt today to run some test to see if he is refluxing again and causing these unexplained breathing problems. He has had quite a few issues with not being able to keep his Oxygen levels up and having a hard time breathing since his stay at the medical center in BG. a few weeks ago. So we got up at 5:00 am and headed to Nashville for a ONE night test. Logan had to eat at 5:00 and could not eat again until after both test were done. Just to let you know that finally happened at 4:00 o'clock this afternoon. That was fun let me tell you!

Anyway,we had an upper GI where he had to drink barium today first to watch it flow down his digestive tract to see what it looked like. and then a PH probe was placed down his nose into his stomach to check the acid levels in his esophagus. It took four people to hold him down, he was so strong he was vaulting out of the bed. After it was over he was so tired that he just stared at the wall until he fell asleep in my arms and rested for a few hours. I felt so bad for him

So far I am not liking what I am hearing from them. First of all Logan has had three major de-sat episodes where his O2 levels drop dramatically. Once into the 70's then 60's and the last one dropped to 49. We were all in a panic and were able to get him up with breathing treatments and more O2. The prelimanary results of the Upper Gi looks like his wrap, that he had done last year during the crisis that kept us hear 38 days, has pushed through his diaphragm. Which means it has busted the sutchures and needs to be fixed. Now that is not the final word though. We will not know for sure until Dr. Morgan his surgeon looks at it tomorrow. Also his lung Xray looked like he had an aspiration patch in his right upper lobe of the lung, also not good at all. Still not sure what is going on yet, but we are going to have a swallow study done at noon and probably will not go home tomorrow as we first thought. Just incase any of you are wondering if I am about to have a nervous breakdown then I will go ahead and tell you, YES I AM!!!!! So I ask that you please pray for Logan that what ever is going on is minor and can be fixed without surgery and with out permanent damage to his lungs. Then I ask that if you have time to please pray for my sanity, as I was walking a fine line already, Just ask Brandon ha ha, and pray for my patience so that one of these incompetant nurses does not become a casualty by not doing what they are supposed to in a timely manor. Well it is late and I have been up for way too long and had way too much caffine, so before I continue to ramble any further I will update again as soon as I know anything. Sorry for all the spelling errors my eyes are a little blurry.

Thanks to all of you for your love and support!

Kyla

Tuesday, May 23, 2006 4:41 PM CDT

Hey Everyone,
I will try to make a quick update before Logan wakes up from his nap.
Things have been a little rocky around here ever since Logan got out of the hospital three weeks ago. He has been having these very disturbing episodes where he is fine one minute then the next he is having difficulty breathing and his lips are blue. He has been on increased O2 through out this time. A breathing treatment or two seem to really help him, but we are unsure what is the cause. Long story short we made a quick trip to the Gi Doctor to rule out reflux as the cause AGAIN!!! The Doctor has set up an upper GI and Ph probe for us tomorrow at Vandi. this will be inpatient procedure so we will stay the night. I hope and pray that reflux is not the cuase, but his symptoms are frightfully familiar from this time last year. I am hoping that it is his allergies and asthma, which still is not good because that means they are far from being controled.
Hope everyone is doing well! I pray that we can figure out what is causing Logan so many problems
God Bless all of you and keep you safe.
Kyla

please pray for and visit ky/Isaiah He has been in and out of the hospital for so long and is having to go through so much as well as his parents. They would really appreciate your thoughts and prayers

Sunday, May 7, 2006 2:15 PM CDT

Hello Everyone,
I know it has been a long time since my last update and a lot has happened..
Logan started feeling bad a week ago Friday. The pollen count was through the roof and he is highly allergic to pollen. He started draining and coughing. His SAT's stayed pretty good, but he was miserable. Over the weekend he got worse so I took him in to the Doctor on Monday morning. He put him on orapred and an antibiotic. We left the office at 10:45 am and I swear Logan coughed non stop from then until 8:00 Tuesday morning. His cough was like a bronchial spasm, he was so miserable and I did every thing under the sun I could for him. I called the Doctor and he told me what I knew he was going to say. They wanted to put him in the hospital under the croup tent for a few days. I have to say I knew that is where he needed to be, but my anxiety level shot through the roof because our last stay started this way and 38 days later and 3 hospitals we got to come home. We stayed for 4 days and got to come home Friday afternoon. He did really well most of the time.
On Thursday my mom came up so I could get more clothes and pay some bills. When I left logan SAT's were at 97 on 1 liter.
He was eating when I came back and was not hooked to the monitor. When I hooked him up it said 77(really bad). He was as pink as could be and looked fine so I tried putting it on the other foot. Still 77, I waited for a few seconds to see if it was picking up good and when I realized it was right I called for the nurse and repiratory to come in. I immediatly started a breathing treatment and chest percusion. When the nurse came in she looked frightened. Logan can change in the drop of a hat and they are only equipped to handle so much. She had seen that happen to us before and we were air lifted or went my ambulance to another hospital. I told her not to panick, he looked fine and he was not struggling to breath. When resp. came in there were 3 of them including the director. They wathed me start antoher treatment and do vigorous chest pt ( pat on is back quickly to loosen any secreations and open up air sacs) I asked them what they would do differently and they said nothing, that I was doing everything that they would do. So I called Brandon and our pediatrician. She told them to do 3 different treatments back to back. At this time he was on 2.5 liters nasal cannual and 5 liters blowing through the mask in his mouth. he still would not come up past 88. This went on for 2 hours Brandon and I did everything we knew to do and we knew if it did not get better soon we were goign to be on an ambulance to Vandi. The therapist followed our lead and stood back and watched us, you could tell they did not see much of this in that hospital. They were very helpful and got us everything we asked for and let us make the desicions on what needed to be done
I had put saline in Logans nose when all this started to see if he was stuffy. it did not do anything. Brandon recommended we get a hot moist wash rag and wipe his nose to open him up. When I did I saw the awefullest amount of sticky thick secreations(sorry so graphic) there was. We asked the RT if we could deep suction him and so we did and after sucking all that crap out his head he went back up to 94 on 1 liter of O2. Can you beleive the drama we go through over(excuse my choice of words) a bugger lol!!!!! Anyway it happened agian later an we suctioned him and yee haw he was fine, so we got to come home the next day. Now Brandon and I are both sick with sinus ifections and Logan feels a lot better, but not all the way yet though.
Wow, this one is long! Sorry so long winded today, but I wanted to share that story with you because it was actually kind of funny.
One thing that did scare us was that one Dr. said his cough sounded like reflux. I almost passed out because we just had that fixed I thought. I don't think that is what it is, but we are going to have it checked again to make sure. I guess we will do another PH probe. FUN FUN!!!
Well if I think of anything else I will add on to this novel.
Take care and please remember Isaiah /ky/isaiah in you prayers and all our other caring bridge families
Kyla

Wednesday, April 26, 2006 10:23 AM CDT

Good Morning everyone,
Sorry so long since last update. I know I said that I would update sooner last time, but things have been pleasantly busy around here. Logan is doing great!!! His allergies have been a bother,but he is handling them quite well compared to times past. He still is not a great sleeper, but I can deal with that. We only have one upcoming appt in May to the ENT at Vandi. I really hope that this summer will be a great one for all of us.
Oh I almost forgot, We took Logan fishing Sunday and he caught his first two fish ever. The first was a small mouth bass, it was so big it broke the line and flopped back in the water, the second one was a blue gill and we threw it back. He was so excited. it was so much fun to watch him do things a typical little boy would do.
We are still on 3/4 to 1/2 liter at all times, but his mood is pretty good and with the back pack I made for him to pack it around when he is outside, it makes everyones life easier. He feels independant and that is great.
Well I better go, I am trying to make arrangements to go visit Isaiah and his Mom and Dad in the hospital today.
Say a prayer for them that things go well and they can come home soon. ky/isaiah
Thanks,
Kyla

Wednesday, March 1, 2006 9:03 PM CST

Well today was the big day, our cardiology appt. to see where Logan's pulmonary pressure was.... and all I can say is God is GOOD!!! It was AWESOME!!!! It was down from 55 to low 30's and probably would have been lower if he had sat still for the echo. The Dr. was very pleased and said his heart looked wonderful and that the pressure was very mild. She said we could wean the O2 as he could handle it. I was so pleased and relieved. Now we just have to get through flu season without illness and maybe we can have an enjoyable summer. I am so grateful to God and everyone for Logan progress!! Must go to bed now, had long day!
Kyla
ps. please sign in the guestbook so we know you have been by. I look forward to reading new entries everyday. Thanks



Quick update and request...
All is well here, Logan got his stitches out and is doing well right now.
We have an appt. on thursday with the cardiologist in Nashville for an Echo to check his pulmonary hypertension status. I am getting very nervous. I
am fearful that the pressure has not dropped any, and that is really not a good thing at all. Please say a prayer for him that the pressures are down from where they were. Thank you so much. Also very important, please pray for Isaiah /ky/isaiah. He is in the hospital again. He was going in for his 2nd cranialfacial surgery which is very risky and he spiked a fever right before they took him back and his white count was 35 to 40,000. They are unsure of the cause. Please pray for him and his mom and dad, and the surgeons that will operate.
Thank you so much,
Kyla



Good evening everyone,
We have had an exciting day today in a somewhat normal and average way. It started out great, it was such a beautiful day. We played outside with our neighbor all morning and around 1:00 we decided to go for a walk and pull the kids in the wagon. We walked to my grandmothers house down our road and when we got there Logan got out of the wagon and before I could get his oxygen tank out he tripped over the cord and fell head first on the drive way hitting a small rock. The sound his head made hitting the pavement turned my stomach. I quickly swooped him up expecting to find his teeth smashed through his lip or worse. When I finally got him to move his hand away from his head I saw a hole and LOTS of blood. I applied pressure and ran to the porch to get a better look. When I took my hand away to see, there was blood everywhere on his face and all over my hand and arm. I called for a wet rag and told my brother to call Brandon to come home and take us the the ER because I knew he was going to have to get stiches. I got the bleeding to stop and saw the hole was not so big, but deep. We called our pediatrician and she sent us to the ER where we had to wait 3 1/2 hours to be seen. Logan did really wonderful through out all of this. My biggest fear was head trauma and the effect on his other health issues, but he was unaffected by it all and handled like a champ, he had his first little boy accident. They did 3 head xrays and after 6 hours we ended up leaving with 4 stiches above his eyebrow. While they were waiting for the numbing gel to take affect they had to put gauze over the hole and wrap it with coban. It was the funniest thing I have ever seen. He had this bandage wrapped around his head lopsided making one eye higher than the other one. He looked like a olden day soldier with a head wound. He was standing at the door of the room we were in talking to people who walked by, they were doing double takes looking at this little boy on oxygen with his head wrapped up. He looke pretty pittiful, but he was telling the nurses to hurry up he was ready to go home. he had them all right where he wanted them.
I told Brandon we hit a milestone today. We came to the ER with a typical injury and we got to go home after 4 typical stiches, we felt so "NORMAL"
Logan is doing well. He is proud of his boo boo. Mommy is exhausted and proud of what a tuff mature little boy I have . I will say that this incident shook me worse then his breathing emergencies because i was out of my element and all I knew to do was apply pressure. It worked and he is asleep right now and doing great. It did not even effect his breathing which is amazing because at one time I swear he could stump his toe and go into resp. distress. Well that's all, just thought i would share our drama for the day

Wednesday, February 15, 2006 9:33 PM CST

Good evening everyone,
Guess what? I now have high speed internet yeehaw! Hopefully it will not take me two hours to read sites and post a new journal entry.
We went to Vandi today for a follow up with surgery clinic. Dr. Morgan was very pleased with Logan. He thinks he looks great and is healing very well. We discussed his weight gain or lack there of and he said to just keep trying to give him high calorie foods. The problem is like most four year olds he does not want anything that may be good for him or nutritional. He wants gummie snacks and fruit roll ups and chicken nuggetts. I am trying to introduce other foods to give him a good variety, but he will have nothing of it. He is doing well from a lung standpoint. We have been on 3/4 of a liter pretty much all the time. He and I both are having sinus an allergy problems, but he is not having a drop in his SAT's like before. I just keep praying for his lungs to grow and improve so that one day he can be with out the O2 and he can run and play with other kids and not be attached to a leash. I am happy with what we have now, just to have him home and to be happy and playful and not in the hospital.
I have good news to share as well, a friend that was in the hospital with us this last time, Jonah who is four, got a call today and they told them they found a donor for his heart tranplant. He has been waiting in the ICU at Vandi since October. Please pray that his surgery is very successful and please pray for the donors family as well.
I will post again soon!
Kyla

Wednesday, January 18, 2006 10:09 PM CST

WOW!!!!!
That is the word that comes to my mind right now.
I guess I should explain that a little further, I had a chance to log on to Logan's website and view the Guestbook tonight. It has been a long time since I have had the time to do that since I have dial up and we all know what a torture that is. I am amazed at all the entries from all of you, even though I was not updating you were still coming by to check on my angel and send words of encouragement and wonderful thoughts our way. Caring Bridge is such a blessing and so are all of you. I think I have decided to bite the bullett and get cable internet so maybe I won't have any excuses to stay away for so long. I know better than to keep you all in suspense this way. there are several children that follow closely and I would go there everyday hoping for a new entry and good news. It was so disappointing to not have any day after day. So I must apologize to all of you loyal Logan followers from the bottom of my heart.
So now I guess I should get to the part you really want to hear. Logan is doing fine!!!!! He is still on 1 liter of O2 which bounces around some, but on the average it is still at 1. He is feeling good and we are trying to keep him entertained and occupied for the next 3 months until RSV and FLU season are over. I must say that he and I both are a little stir crazy if you know what I mean. Since Logan can't be around many children due to passing germs, he has found that I will do just fine as his palymate, so ALL day long I hear "Mom, play with me" or he is dragging me off to his room to play barn yard and horses. He makes me be the playschool farmer character which he and his GREAT Grandmother named Fat Albert.I am not sure why other than he is a little round man. Anyway it is pretty funny. He has a good imagination, but refuses to play alone. don't get me wrong it is fun and all for the first hour of the day which starts at 6:30 am, but somewhere around noon when we've been up half a day, it is not that much fun anymore. He knows when to trap me into going to his room. He waits until I am on the phone with the insurance company (which is everyday no joke) or a Dr.'s office and then he drags me back to his room,if I say no or go back in the other room he has a little fit while I am trying to get the phone call taken care of and so I am forced at the moment to do as he says. He is very munipulative that way. I must say he gets it honest. My mom said I always had a way of getting what I wanted. She also said she hoped I had ten kids as demanding as I was. Well I did not have ten, but I have one that is ten times as demanding as I was. You know what they say about paybacks!!! Oh well I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. i just bite my lip and smile from ear to ear knowing how far he has come because of that strong will and determination.
Well I guess I better go to bed. I have to get up and give Logan his meds at 4:00 am and then he is up for the day at 6:30 like I said, so I must sleep when I can.
I will promise to try to update sooner and I really want to spend some time making Logan's webpage prettier and adding pictures of him on his new John Deer 4-wheeler he got from Santa. His tank fits in the back and he is gone in high gear running over everything in site.


Please pray for my friend Isaiah he has been in the hospital for two weeks and needs to have the same surgery as Logan's last one. He has so much stuff going on he really needs your prayers as well as his parents. Thanks www.caringbridge.com/ky/isaiah
Love an prayers and forgiveness to all those websites I have neglected since we have been home, I think about you all the time!!!
Kyla

Monday, January 2, 2006 5:11 PM CST

Wow, I feel really terrrible for not updating Logan's page for so long.With the Holidays it has been a little crazy around our house as I am sure it has been with all of you. We had a wonderful Christmas with Logan!!! We were just so grateful to have him home with us it was amazing. We hope that the new year proves to be a healthier and happier year for Logan. I pray that you all had a blessed Christmas have a wonderful new year in 2006. I will try to update sooner next time. As far as medical. We had a Cardiology appt. Wed. and everything was the same. His pulmonary pressure is still up around 50, but his heart is fine. We will go back in 3 months. He is requiring a little more oxygen these days because of the change in the weather, but that's OK I will check back again soon.
Bye,
Kyla

Sunday, December 4, 2005 10:10 AM CST

Good Morning everyone,
Thought I would sign in a give a little update on my angel Logan. He is doing really well right now. We are keeping him in as much as possible. We did however; take him to his first Christmas Parade yesterday morning. We were able to pull the car up right to the street and did not have to get out. He enjoyed it and it felt so good to do something normal. He and I went with Brandon all day to feed the cows and take hay to different farms. We really had a good family day. Well I better go I hear little man and his daddy just coming in from McDonalds this morning with breakfast. Take care and I will update soon.
Kyla
ps Thanks to everyone who still takes time to sign in the GB. i really look forward to reading new entries when i sign in.

Friday, November 18, 2005 9:43 PM CST

Quick Update
Not a whole lot has been going on here other than the usual.
Logan got his 2nd dose of syniges today for RSV. He did so good. He was a very big boy. His home health nurse brought him a happy meal so that made things much better. I just wanted to wish you all a very Happy Thanksgiving!!!! I hope that you all can enjoy the holiday season. I feel very blessed to have so much to be thankful for right now!!! I wish the same for all of you as well. Take care and God Bless!!!


Good evening everyone,
I am typing this journal entry from my very own computer that has been fixed as of today, for how long I am not sure, but for the time being it is mine and I am so glad to be able to update and check on my kids.
Logan is sleeping peacefully right now. He is doing well. We are going up and down on his O2 levels. He has been ranging from 1/2 liter to 1 liter for the most part. It has primarily been at a liter sometimes we can go down, but usually have to go back up. He got his RSV shot and his flu shot and he did well for both of them. He has been a totally different child since we have been home. He is so grown up and funny, Oh man he is funny!!!! He is talking more in complete sentences. He is not whining or crying nearly as much. He is still not sleeping worth a darn, but I will sacrifice sleep for his feeling good any day. He is happy to be home and have his own toys and all of us here with him. We were in his room the other day playing and he looked at me and said," Mom, I don't want to get sick no more and have to go back to the hopital(no s in his pronunciation)cause I love you. My heart melted. I was so shocked that he came out with that on his own. I just hugged him and told him I loved him too and I did not want him to go back to the hospital either so we had to keep him well.
We went back last week for a surgery follow up and everything went well. The day before our appt. I got a call from another mother whose child shared the room next to Logan in the ICU. Sierra is 15 and was there awaiting a heart and double lung transplant. Sierra had been there for three months at the top of the national donor waiting list and on tuesday afternoon she got her transplant. So far everything has been very succesful. She is doing well, but still has a long way to go. She was the youngest person that Vanderbilt had ever done this procedure on. She made history. Please keep her in your prayers for healing and no rejection. Please also keep Danny(15) and Jonnah(4) in your prayers too. They both need heart transplants ASAP. One more of my new hospital family I ask for your prayers for is baby Beau (Bo). he is 5 months old and has only left the hospital for 5 days and then had to come back. He is fighting very hard to live and after a tracheotomy last week he still has not done very well. he keeps getting infections. He needs to get out of the hospital and go home so his mom and Dad can help him get better away from all fo those hospital bugs, but he can't get well enough. Please keep all of these wonderful children and thier families in your prayers for me. As well as Logan. God truly answered your and my prayers for him!!!

I want to thank all of you who signed in the GB and offered prayers for the family of my friend who passed away. That means alot to me. they are really having a hard time and need extra support.
Sorry such a long entry, but it was a long time coming.
Kyla

Friday, November 4, 2005 7:49 PM CST

Quick Update...
Logan is doing wonderful right now. He is still having issues walking and getting his strength back, but that will all come with time. I have been dealing with another tragedy as well, part of the reason I have not had time to update. Last Saturday morning around 3:00am I got a phone call telling me that my best friend from middle school and all through out high school and now had been killed in a horrible car accident. She left behind two beautiful little girls one 4 and the other 1. We are all so shocked and devistated. I feel very much in denial over the whole thing. She was a spitfire, fun and very happy person. She will always hold a special place in my heart and so many others. Thanks for all of your paryers for Logan they are so appreciated. I ask that you please pray for Skylar and Jaylyn that they will be OK without thier mommy and that the Markus family and all who were close to Jaime will have peace in their hearts.

The benefit went really well! Thanks to all who had a hand in it. We are very grateful!
I will update soon. Right now things are status quo. A surgery appt will be next week for a follow up. Other than that not a lot on the schedule other than therapy.
Thanks, Kyla

Friday, October 21, 2005 3:38 PM CDT

This is Kyla's friend Nicki and I just wanted to update you on Logan. THe reason I am updating is because Logan is at HOME!!!! He was released on Wednesday and he got home around 10:00. Kyla does not have internet access so I told her I would be happy to let all of you know how he is. He is very weak. They are spending the majority of their time in the recliner. Kyla and Brandon got about 2 hours of sleep last night due to the amount of medications they are giving Logan. Logan is not able to walk due to being so weak and sore. His physical therapist will come work next week with him to get him moving again. Kyla feels that it will take several weeks for him to get back to feeling good again. He is very bruised due to all of the IV's he had to have during his stay. Currently he is on 2 liters of oxygen but they hope that when he is ready they can wean him down. Please continue to pray for Logan but also for his parents. THey are now responsible for all of his medical needs without the help of the medical staff they have had the last 30 something days. As a parent of a child with many medical needs I know how scary that can be and Logan has so much right now. If Kyla can not get to a computer before the first of the week I will call her again and get an update so that I can put it up for them. Please continue to sign the guestbook, that will give Kyla so much ease when she can read them.

Just a reminder that Logan has a benefit on Saturday October 22nd. It will be at Chaney's Dairy Barn on Nashville road. The benefit will start at 6:00 am and they will have food untill around 2:00pm. Activities should continue even after that. Time without work and in the hospital is very trying on a family so please come out if you can to support them.

Nicki

Tuesday, October 18, 2005 11:08 AM CDT

UPDATE DAY 38
Logan is still doing wonderful!! He is still shaky and a little weepy, but he ate scrambled eggs and gravy this morning and loved them. That was the first solid food he has had in over a month! We are being moved out of ICU to the floor and hopefully home from there maybe as early as tomorrow! I am going to push for it becuase I don't want him to get anthything else from the hospital! My mind is still so scrambled thinking back to just this time last week and not knowing when or if we would ever leave the hospital and what shape he would be in. This is such a miracle and we owe this first and foremost to the lord above, but also to all of you that pray for him so faithfully! We feel so fortunate to have all of you in our corner. Logan sure is loved by so many and he truly has a special purpose to fulfill on this earth. Thank you again for your dedication!!
Maybe we will see you soon!!!!!!!!!!

Day 37
I hate to speak too soon, but I can't hold back the joy I feel inside. Logan is doing GREAT!!!!!!!!!!! He is back on regular nasal cannullas and down to 1 and 1/2 liters regular oxygen. He ate a little bit of pudding and he worked really well with the physical therapist today. They were really pleased with him. As usual he is amazing everyone. I guess Brandon was right when he said he just needed more time. Sometimes my mind is too analytical to think that simplistically. I always have to think to deep. Logan just needed time. I hope he is as ready as he appears to be. I still am not 100orry free, but it is really looking up.
Please continue to pray for Logan's progress so we can get out of this place!!!!! I have held him all through the night and most of the day and I will tell you it sure does feel good. I missed his little warm snuggling head against mine. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for all of the prayers, concern and support!!! I truly could never say thanks you enough!!!
Kyla

Monday, October 17, 2005 9:48 AM CDT

Day 36
Today is a BIG day! Around 10:00 am they are going to try and take the breathing tube out and let Logan do it all on his own. He has done very well with all of the breathing exercises they have been doing the last few days. I am a little upset because they were supposed to give him Methadone for 24 hours so they could turn the other drips off and he would not go through withdrawals. They did not do that so now they are going to start him on the lowest dose so it does not knock him out like it did the last time. They also forgot to give him the steroids they use to help with inflammation in his throat from the tube. They are going to go ahead and give it now and see how it does. It just wears me out having to remind them all the time what they said they were going to do.
Anyway I don't think that this will be a hold up, but you never know. I am very nervous today and very hopeful that this will be successful and that it will be the last time. Please send some extra prayers our way so that we can get this ventilator out of the picture once and for all!!!!!! Logan is very awake and is mad at me because I can't give him any water to suck on. He has been using the mouth sponge and dipping it in water and going to town on it. He can't do that before they take the tube out today so he is not a happy camper. They have told me that they have never seen another child act like Logan does while intubated. He is so active and awake and he can communicate with them. He has perfect hand eye control even on all then narcotic drips. They said he is amazing. I said, "I told you so!!!" Anyway I found a picture frame yesterday that had Logan's name on it and the meaning of his name, it said named after a town in Ashyre Scotland, Very determined, strong willed and principled character. Master of their own fate! If that does not describe Logan, I don't know what could. I never knew the meaning of his name, all I know is that Brandon and I decided on it and never changed our minds. He was Logan from day one! I felt like that was my sign from God. Logan defenatly has been a master of his own fate! That is what I told the Doctors the other day. Anyway I need to get back in there so I will go, but I will let you know as soon as I know anything more.
Thanks for everything,
Kyla
Please sign in the guestbook, so we know you have been by. It makes us feel good to read new entries each day
*****UPDATE ON TODAY
Quick update,
They took the tube out about 15 minutes ago. He is doing well so far.
They have him on Vapotherm, which is similar to what he wears at home but the Oxygen is able to come out with more pressure and humidity so it will not be uncomfortable for him. He is doing pretty well on 70ight now. Hopefully they can turn him down as he tolerates it. Please continue to pray for this to be successful. It is far from being behind us just yet. Thanks,
Kyla

Sunday, October 16, 2005 10:59 AM CDT

Day 35
Today they are trying to exercise Logan's lungs by doing C-pap trials on the vent. They do this by turning the rate off and only leave the oxygen and a little pressure support. It helps his lungs work out a little instead of the vent doing so much. He is doing really well on that, the only thing that he is still having trouble with his his O2 levels. He keeps fluctuating up and down and it is making me nervous. The plan is if he does well today on the extra C-pap trial that they will try to extubate him tomorrow. That scares me to death! I want him to desperately come off of the vent, but I am so scared that he will need it again and then where will we be? Please, please pray for him to be able to successfully come off of the vent and do well and not need it again. He looks good and acts like he feels good, so I pray that we can get this ventilator out of the equation for good. Please just remember us in a few extra prayers over the next couple of days for sure so that we may be able to get this nightmare behind us. I think I am the most nervous of all, mostly because I have been here every single day watching the ups and downs and I am emotionally and mentally drained. Thank you for all of the continued support. It is so much appreciated we could not even begin to tell you how much!
I will let you know how things go tomorrow!
Kyla

By the way: There is a benefit being hosted for Logan at Chaney's Dairy Barn on Nashville Rd. on Sat. the 22nd of October. It starts at 6:00am with a pancake breakfast and a chili luncheon after that. There will be a TON of things to do for kids. It is being called Logan's Day to celebrate him. I am not sure if Brandon or I will be there just yet. If Logan is doing really well, my Mom can stay with him so we can come for a little while. Hopefully I will see some of you there.

Friday, October 14, 2005 10:21 AM CDT

Day 33
Yes, can you believe we have now been in the hospital 33 days?
I do not have huge exciting news to report today. Logan is still giving them a run for their money. At 6:25 am I received a phone call from the nurse, of course I was terrified as soon as the phone rang. I knew only bad news could come from the call. The nurse explained to me that Logan was very interested in his neighbor next door (another little boy close in age) the little boy was crying, so Logan was trying to look to see what was going on with him, In the process he rolled to far over and extubated himself!!!! That means he pulled his breathing tube out. He did not crash or anything like that they just had to quickly paralyze him and put a new one back in. Oh that boy.
Anyway they had to adjust a few of his vent settings back up until he settles back out. Right now they are tying for the third time this weak to get a PIC line placed. Please keep praying for Logan’s healing and ability to get off of that vent. It is hurting him just as much as it is helping him now. Thanks for the support. if anything else changes today I will let you know.
Kyla

Thursday, October 13, 2005 1:47 PM CDT

Well today has been a somewhat better day than yesterday.
We had a meeting with all of the Doctors today on a plan to get Logan better. They are all in agreement that he needs to come off of the vent as soon as he can. They are going to try to aggressively wean him in the next 24 to 48 hours and see how he does. They are hopeful that he will be able to do it on his own, but we know that there are strong possibilities that he may not so we need a plan in place if that happens. I was relieved after talking to them that they hope for Logan to be as much back to himself as he can be with all that has happened. They also know that his lungs have been damaged over the course of the last three weeks and will not be as strong as they were before. He has very little reserve and we have used it all up lately so he needs to build some back up.
I am still praying desperately that he can get back to the way he was before minus reflux!!!! I feel so very blessed with all of the prayers and support we are receiving from all of you all and so many others! I KNOW that is how we are getting through this. Hopefully this week will prove to better than last week and things will start looking up. The problem is that things change so quickly around here it is so hard to know from one minute to the next what will happen. The good thing that came from the meeting is that one his heart Dr. was very optimistic and thinks his heart is handling things quite well. His pressure is still a little high but he is handling it with out strain on his heart. It is all his lungs right now. Also I told them that I did not want them to think that I was naively optimistic about Logan's overall health. I have been told since I was 4 months pregnant that Logan may not live. I know the possibilities from the medical standpoint, but what I know more is what Logan is capable of. He has shown us that over and over again. I also told them that I was committed to doing what ever Logan needed from me and if that meant that he would require more care after we get home than before then I was up to the challenge and that they could depend on me to do whatever it is that is needed. They were all very complimentary of my medical skill with him as well as my commitment. I told them that I only do what any mother who truly loves their child would do.
Anyway please continue the prayers. They are truly being answered slowly but surely and for that we are eternally grateful!!!
Kyla

Wednesday, October 12, 2005 3:16 PM CDT

Today has been another one of those days!!!!
Yesterday they were able to wean Logan off of the Flolan after getting his Echo back with no change in his pulmonary hypertension. He was able to come down to 45xygen after awhile and was very alert and awake and truly acting like himself even with the tube. Everyone was amazed at how he was wide-awake, sitting in the bed playing games with me and bossing me around. I felt good about how things were going so I went to bed in the sleep room across the hall.
This morning I came in and he was on 100xygen and things were not as good. He had too much fluid and they increased his lasix. We were able to wean his O2 to 60nd he again was awake and amazing everyone at what he could do on a ventilator. I became very anxious and went and found his Cardiologist nurse and told her I would like to speak to the Dr. herself and also talked to the lung Dr.'s nurse and she called Dr. Fazili he came over to evaluate Logan and talk to me. He was very happy with Logan's clinical picture, the way he was awake and sitting propped up in bed, communicating to me with sign language and all that he was doing and how his lungs sounded. He was concerned about the high O2 requirement and wanted to try steroids to help with inflammation. We spoke to the ICU attending about my fears and concerns and we agree that Logan needs to get the tube out ASAP in order to avoid any more damage to his lungs, the problem is we can only remove it when he shows us he is ready. I explained to him my concern and frustration with how we did not bring him here in this state, we only brought him here to correct his reflux and I did not understand how we got from that to this. He understood and said that he thought that Logan's lung disease had gotten worse since we had gotten here. From the reflux issues and the ventilator. What that means I am still unsure of. I don't know how much worse, or if it is a permanent or temporary worsening. I don't know if that means he won't come off of the vent with out a tracheotomy or what. Right now it is so up and down and there is no clear picture. We can only go by what Logan's tells us he can tolerate. Right now he is back up to 702 after they messed with him and did his treatments. They are having to give him more and more sedation because he is so tolerant of what they are already giving him. I feel so helpless. Please know that all of your prayers and concerns are deeply appreciated and needed!!! Right now all I can do is put it in God's hands and trust that he knows what Logan is capable of and guide the Dr's in making the right choices for him and know that God knows I will do ANYTHING to make Logan's life better and happy and hope that he gives me that chance. Please continue to pray for his healing. Thank you so very much.
Kyla

Tuesday, October 11, 2005 9:36 AM CDT

Good Tuesday morning everyone!
Logan is still holding steady right now. We do not have the results of the echo yet and are anxiously awaiting it to see where his Pulmonary Hypertension is.
They weaned his vent rate to 18 and now they are going to 16. That is the amount of breathes per minute it gives him. The rest he does on his own. The peep (constant pressure) is down to 8 from 12 and needs to be 4 or5. The O2 requirement is still stumping me. He is on 70%. He is hanging out in the 90's and could probably afford to come down to 65%, but that is still high. They will not be able to wean the Flolan until it is below 60% and it will have to be at 35 or 40% to take the breathing tube out. Anyway they just told me that the central line they put in his Femoral artery needs to be taken out and a new PIC line needs to be put in. There is too much of a risk of infection being so close to his bottom. I said, "Sure, why not put another hole in his little body!" I was not happy, I know why they need to do it, but it is just one more thing for him to have to endure.
My prayer right now is for the echo to be OK and to get the Flolan off and see what he does. He was very awake yesterday for the first time. He was playing with me and trying to talk around the tube. Thank goodness he knows some sign language so we can communicate a little better. To see him like that made me feel like he could have come off of that vent then, but his numbers told another story and I don't know why!!! I ask for your continued prayers for my baby!
Thanks,
Kyla

Monday, October 10, 2005 8:18 AM CDT

It has been long weekend. Logan is doing OK, he has not been able to wean off of the vent easily though. They are waiting until today to do an Echo and see where his Pulmonary Hypertension is and if it is playing much of a role in what is going on. They started him on a medication called Flolan to help his PH. They will have to wean him off of that as well, which will take awhile. It is such a long process and I am trying to be patient. Right now I am just trying to focus on praying and keeping my faith. Thank you for all of your thoughts and prayers, they are very much needed and appreciated!
Kyla

Saturday, October 8, 2005 10:28 AM CDT

Things have not gone exactly as we had hoped. Logan continued to have trouble keeping his SAT's stable and started to crash yesterday morning. He had to be put back on the ventilator. We are very scared and frustrated with all that is going on and we ask that you please pray for his healing and strength. We are unsure of what is causing this problem not to get better, and that is very frightening. We know Logan has a lot of will and strength and we have a lot of faith that he will get better, but right now alot of that is being clouded. Thank you for all of your support and prayers. We truly need them now more than ever!
Kyla

Thursday, October 6, 2005 10:03 PM CDT

Logan has not done as well today as we had hoped. They tried to take him off of the Bi-Pap and go to Vapotherm, which is pressurized cannulas that flow at 15 liters but don’t feel like it. He dropped into the 70’s and would not come up so they went back to Bi-Pap and he has not stabilized yet. He has fluctuated from low 80’s to low 90’s ever since. All of his other levels seem OK, so we are not sure what is causing him to not get good Oxygen. He is on 100% flow and it is coming in at a significant amount of pressure. Please pray that Logan just needs a little more time and that something else is not going on. He has a fever of 102.4 tonight and they have to give him more blood now. He is on a good antibiotic for the blood infection in his PIC line. I really don’t know what is going on with him. It is just different from any other time before so I have nothing to compare it to. Brandon and I are both so emotionally and physically weak it is just really getting harder each day at times to think positive. Thanks for all of the support we receive from all of you.
Kyla

Thursday, October 6, 2005 8:49 AM CDT

Logan is doing OK.
I did not think I would be able to say that last night, but once again Logan proved us all wrong!!!
It was very scary last night. He was not doing very well. His CO2 levels were climbing and his O2 SATs were dropping. After they put him on Bi-Pap he did not seem to improve. He was so out of it that he was not breathing well. They had him on 100xygen and he only climbed into the high 80’s low 90’s. The Doctors said if his PH levels dropped to 7.25 they would have to put him back on the vent. That was not what we wanted to hear.
At 10:00 pm the surgery team came in and wanted to put him on the vent ASAP, but luckily the Dr. that was in ICU made them wait and said that Logan needed time to transition and he was going to give it to him because if we intubated again we would have this same problem when he was ready to come off of it the next time and it could be even harder. So he gave him some injections of a medication to reverse the narcotic affect to wake him up and it worked. It was touch and go for most of the night. At 1:00 am his PH was 7.26(remember 7.25 was as low as they would go before the vent, we were cutting it too close.) and his CO2 was 101. They decided to give him another hour and try again. At 2:45 his PH came back 3.1 and his CO2 was 95. I was so happy. He is still not out of the woods, but he is doing soooo much better. He is on a pretty high setting of Bi-Pap, but that should be much easier to wean then the vent. This morning his PH was 7.46 and his CO2 was 59. That is a lot better than it has been since we have been here. I hope it continues to be that way. They turned him down from 100o 902. We have a long way to go on that because he will have to be on 30 to 40 efore they will take the Bi-Pap away. He is much more alert and has better muscle tone this morning. Yesterday he looked and felt like a wet dishrag, he had no ability what so ever. Today he actually wanted me to hold him, which he did not want yesterday. I knew my boy was back then!!!!!!
Thank you so much for the extra prayers yesterday! Please ask God to continue to help Logan move in the right direction towards going home! Thanks for everything.
Kyla


Please pray for baby Grayson who received a kidney from his father 3 weeks ago and now the Dr's think he may be rejecting it. He needs lots of prayers for that as well as his little lungs which are having a hard time coming off of the vent. Thank you so much, I know I can count on you!

Wednesday, October 5, 2005 9:37 AM CDT

Logan was taken off of the vent yesterday afternoon and did well through the night. He is not doing as well right now though. He is not able to keep his O2 SATS up and they have been deep suctioning and bagging him this morning. I had to step out to get a breath of fresh air and thought I would ask all of you for some extra prayers today that Logan will be able to get over this hump. He is on Methadone for the Morphine w/d and it is making him floppy and unable to move and have much support it is doing the same to his airway. Please ask God to help Logan breathe easier and get him better. Thanks for all your support, love, and prayers!
Kyla

Sunday, October 2, 2005 3:52 PM CDT

Well first I must start by saying that Logan had a GREAT day yesterday!!!!! His vent settings were lowered a lot and he looked and acted wonderful. When we went to bed last night they were going to try the trial runs off of the vent to see if he might be ready today to extubate. We were very excited needless to say.
This morning when we came in, we saw that his vent settings were a little higher than the night before. Not a lot of change though so we were not that upset. During the morning rounds though everything changed. On the X-ray they took this morning there was something strange in the lower left base of the lung field. It resembles small intestine. We are unsure at this time, but it looks as if there could be small intestine pushing through his patch into his chest. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you how bad that is. They are doing a dye test now that runs through his intestine to see if it goes up into the chest. They will take X-rays every 3 hours to see where it is going. If it goes into the chest they will do a CT scan if infact it is bowel then he will have to go back to the OR and be opened back up and have the bowel pushed back down into the abdomen and his patch reinforced. I am about to lose my mind right now, more from not knowing what it is, then if it is. I don’t want Logan to have to go through another operation so soon. We will have no choice though. If it is not bowel then we don’t know what it is, unless it is fluid built up in a strange formation that could require a chest tube to drain. No matter how you look at it, it is a setback. Please continue to pray for Logan’s healing and that we can quickly determine the problem so we can come up with the best solution for Logan.
Thank you all so much for your support, Please just keep the prayers coming.
Kyla

Oct. 2nd 1:10 am
News update

It is 1:10 am on Monday morning and they just got the results of the last X-ray.
At this time it does not appear to be bowel in the chest! Praise God!
Still don’t know exactly what it is, but it is not bowel judging from the X-ray and where the dye was in his small intestine. He has had a fairly good day and night, not too many changes in things, so hopefully tomorrow we can move forward and get this baby off of that awful vent. I hope that what ever it is in the X-ray will go away on it’s own or with antibiotics. He is on 4 different types of antibiotics so hopefully one will cover it. I will let you know tomorrow afternoon how the day goes. Now I must go to bed and TRY to sleep. Tomorrow is a new day and I need to be ready!!!!
Kyla

Friday, September 30, 2005 10:27 PM CDT

Logan came out of surgery around 6:15. All together it was a 7 hour surgery. He did amazingly well through the entire procedure. He had a massive amount of scar tissue around his stomach. His Liver and Spleen had attached themselves to his patch over his Diaphram so they had to be carefully unatached which took the longest. Those are very fragile organs to be played around with!!! He has spiked a fever and his heart rate is elevated now, but not too uncommon post-op from that type of surgery. Please pray that he can heal and that the fever goes down with out an infection being present. I want to thank each and everyone of you who prayed with us today for Logan. Your prayers were truly felt and heard everywhere!!! I will keep you posted in the days to come.
Kyla

Friday, September 30, 2005 10:03 AM CDT

Prayer Warriors...
Logan is being taken to surgery as I type this. I ask that you please pray without ceasing for him to shine through this surgery and do well. Please pray for the surgeons precise moves and all of the other people in the OR to do thier very best. the surgery should take 5 to 6 hours and I ask that you pray with us for Logan to have a uneventful surgery and for him to stay strong and things to go well. Tahnk you for your support and prayers. I know I can count on you.
I will update soon!
Kyla

Wednesday, September 28, 2005 12:15 AM CDT

Logan is doing better today. His vent settings have been lowered and now we are just awaiting surgery so he can be extubated. The fear is that if we take the breathing tube out, he may aspirate again then then we would be back in the same boat we are in now. The surgery however; has been moved from Thursday to Friday. I told them I am tired of them shuffling us around and putting us off. I know they have reasons, but I am to the point that I am not concerned with the reasons I want them to get this behind us so we can move forward. He has been ready since yesterday to have the procedure, you would think being here in the hospital would give you some seniority. I guess not. I am trying to be patient, but it is hard when he is waking up looking at me and trying to understand why I am letting this go on. He has been very alert in the last two days, which is good if you don;t have a tube stuck down your throat and IV's in every orfice. He should not have to know what is happening. He is sleeping now, so i am a little more peaceful. When he is awake though it is heartbreaking. Please keep us in your prayers.
Kyla
PS thanks to everyone who is signing in, I really appreciate it. also thanks to the moms who have emailed me about the Nissen and GTube. You all have been very helpful and reassuring!

Monday, September 26, 2005 5:54 PM CDT

Well not alot of change for now, surgery has been moved to Thursday. He is doing better, but not yet ready for such a big procedure. Thanks for all of the guestbook entries, I love to read them and know that so many people are rooting for us and mostly Logan! Take care and please just continue to pray for my angel to get well and have a uneventful sraightforward surgery.
Thanks, Kyla

Thursday, September 22, 2005 11:22 AM CDT

Well not a whole lot has changed since the last update.
He is still on the vent , but his settings have been lowered and he seemes to be doing really well. There was some talk about surgery possibly Friday, but I don't think that will happen now. Through the night he spiked a high fever and it is still 104.5 now after Tylenol and Motrin. they have down lots of blood work and cultures to see what might be causing it. Thye decided to remove the central line that was placed last Tuedsay and put a PIC line in. I know they have to do this to give his meds, but i just wish he did not have to go through any thing else. The risks are always there with everything they do and it is just over whelming. Also we had a bad experience with the PIC line he had at birth and for 47 days there after. I am just sick at my stomach, I want to scream, but it won't do any good. This went from relief knowing what was finally causing his sickness and how to fix it, to a hellish nightmare that keeps getting worse and I can't seem to wake up from it. I am at my witts end. With the surgery, now they are talking a possible Gtube. I know that a lot of kids have them, but that is something we have never had before and really did not want. I guess I will just deal with it when the time comes. Today I had this overwhelming urge just to go and pick him up and take him home. I know I can't and won't,but I wanted to hold him close to me so bad and I couldn't, it really was apinful and nausiating. Please continue to pray for him and his strength to recover so i can throw him the biggest birthday party ever. take care and God bless!
Kyla

Tuesday, September 20, 2005 10:07 PM CDT

Well Logan is doing pretty good today.
They were able to wean the vent settings some and take him off of the Nitric today. That is a great step in the right direction!! They had to give him a blood tranfusion today to replace all they are using for lab work and aslo an insulin infusion because the steroids are making his Glucose go up. Still no date on surgery, maybe the end of this week, but if not it will be next Tuesday. They were wanting to take him to the O.R. before they extubate him. They did not want to take the vent off and just put it right back in the day of surgery. Please just keep us in your prayers. We really appreciate all of you for your support! Logan is such a strong little boy and I am so proud fo him for all of the fight he has given us!!
Kyla

Monday, September 19, 2005 10:36 AM CDT

I wish I better news to report, but I don't. We have had a really bad week and weekend. Friday he aspirated when some nurses layed him flat during a coughing spell a suctioned him and he threw up.We believe then, that he aspirated. He was moved to the ICU that night, and put on Bi-Pap and nitric and at 6:00 a.m. this morning they had to intubate him. His CO2 and PH was really off and he was struggling very hard. He has been unable to have his surgery yet which he needs to have to get better.Please keep him in your prayers and wish him a very happy birthday!!! I appreciate all of your wishes and prayers in the guestbook entry.
I will update again soon.

Thursday, September 15, 2005 10:26 AM CDT

Good morning all,
Where should I begin.......
Right now Logan is back at Vanderbilt in the PICU!!
This is the third time since I have last updated. I have been pretty busy and my PC is toooo slow!
August 30th we were in the ER at 1:30 am for distress, spent all night and he recovered, we went home 6:30 am Wed morning had decent day at 5:45 pm on our way back to the ER with SAT's of 66 could not breath. We were admitted to the Med center in BG that night. Well on Sept. 1st Logan was taken from our hospital in BG where he had been for a day by plane to Kosairs in Louisville, KY. Same stuff happening where he could not breathe and had really low oxygen levels. We decided to go there because we had been to Vandi so much and nothing was fixing the problem. It was a holiday weekend so we were sent home when he was better and scheduled to come back for tests. They did a PH probe last Thurs. to check his reflux because I told them I thought it was getting worse. It scored off of the charts. He had severe reflux and it was coming up into his airway and causing him to choke and not get his breath. Well in the meantime he gets sick again. To the Dr. we go and we were admitted to the Med center again because Vandi was full. In the night he got worse so we were taken by ambulance to Kosairs at 5:00am Tues. morning. We decided surgery was our only option to fix the reflux and we wanted the surgeon that operated on him 2 times before to do it so we were flown here by airplane from Kosairs yesterday afternoon. Still don't know much, but hope to schedule surgery for tomorrow. Please keep him in your prayers. His Bday is Monday and I am so proud of all the work and fight he as put into his 4 years of life. He is not giving up and I am so proud of him for that. He has been having anxiety issues at the hospital this time and he went wild on us last night and started fighting and biting us and thrashing like he was on something. they had to give him a sedative to help him relax and it still was not enough. I have to go now, sorry so chopy, but I am on a time limit and I had a lot ot tell you.
Bye,
Kyla

Monday, August 29, 2005 11:39 AM CDT

Good Morning All,
Sorry so long between updates, but as I said in my last update my PC is still down.
Well a few things have been going on in the last week. One week after we got home from vandi, Logan started getting sick again. This time I did something different, I gave him a dose of Robitussin and boy did it work. His head started draining and a huge amount of thick secreations started to come out. I made an appt. with the allergy Dr. and we went last monday. he said Logan had a large amount of secreations in is nose and throat. He said we needed to start allergy shots this week or next. We will probably get one in this week and then start two a week for 6 months
We go on Wed. at 6:30 a.m. to have an abdominal ultrasound to check for gallbladder obstruction or bile duct problems that might explain him laying in the floor sweating pulling at his side. Also we are doing blood work to check his immune system. Friday we go to Vandi for check ups with heart and lung Dr.'s Please pray that the Vaigra is working and that his Pulmonary Hypertension is down significantly!!! He is still not feeling wonderful. He acts O.K. but his O2 SATS are low so he is on 1 to 1.5 liters of O2. He was on only .5 before. I don't know the sleep study results yet so still not sure about his tonsils coming out. Please keep praying for his healing as well as so many others. Please keep Avery in your prayers she was just put on the heart transplant waiting list in NY. She is only a few months old and she is very sick.
Thanks,
Kyla

Sunday, August 14, 2005 4:49 PM CDT

PRAISE GOD WE ARE HOME!!!

We were released Wed. afternoon to come home!!
Sorry it took me so long to update everyone, but on top of the steady medicine schedule my computer is not working properly thanks to my wonderful hubby!!

Logan is doing well inspite of what he has been through.
He is still very weak and emotional. He cries at the drop of a hat for no known reason. He is on 2 meds every six hours for as long as he needs them. One you may be shocked to hear is Viagra. yes, Viagra. It has been proven to treat pulmonary hypertension as well as ED in men. It is a smooth muscle dialator and will help to relax and expand those small vessels in his lungs. It has very few side affects and hopefully will help keep this from being a major medical issue for him. Please continue keep him in your prayers and I will update as soon as I can. Thanks to everyone for the guestbook entries!! They are very uplifting.

Love,
Kyla

Monday, August 8, 2005 11:09 AM CDT

Logan was extubated yesterday at 2:00 pm
He is doing well and we will be moving to the floor in a little while.
Keep praying that we will get to come home soon!
He is down to 1/2 liter of O2 and SAt's are 100 Woohoo!!!!!
Anyway things are surely moving in the right direction.
We had a great surprise yesterday evening. Isaiah's mom and dad ky/isaiah came to visit Logan. We have known them for years and it was really nice to have someone who really understands the situation come and visit with us. Thanks Nicki and Tim!!! I hope the next time you hear from me we are at home, so keep your fingers crossed.
Love, Kyla

Sunday, August 7, 2005 10:37 AM CDT

Good morning,
I have not updated so frequently because things have been moving very slowly.
Logan is still on the vent, but his settings are much lower. He is on 35% on O2 and his rate is at 10. We need him to be at 8 on the rate before the tube can come out.
We thought it would be yesterday, and that was really hard because he was waking up and looking at us. He was fighing and thrashing around and I was trying to console him and I could only rub his head. It was very frustrating. We hope that today might be the day. He is still on just enough sedatives that he drifts off to sleep and does not breathe over the vent as much as he needs to. So we need to turn the morphine and versed all the way off and then deal with him being completely awake and trying to console him while he has a tube down his throat. Please pray that this goes well. Please pray for all of the families up here. I hear someone crying in the hall right now and my heart breaks. These parents are all in so much pain and fear. Alot of you know how that feels, so keep them close to your hearts as well.
Thanks to everyone that has signed in the guestbook. I really enjoy reading them to help the time pass.
Kyla

Friday, August 5, 2005 3:47 PM CDT

Hello All,
Sorry so long since I have updated.
Things have been busy around here. Logan is still on the vent, but the settings are lower than before.
They were able to turn the rate from 20 to 16 today and the oxygen to 45% which is about 4 liters. When we walked in this morning he woke up when he heard our voices, which is the first time that has happened since being on the vent. It was very scary, and nerve wracking. He looked right at us and you could tell he knew who we were even under the sedation. He got restless and kept turning his head to look around. we had to make him be very still so as not to pull the vent out. They had to give him more versette to make him go back to sleep. now they are saying it was not pneumonia, but thick secreatins causing his avioli to collapse. They are giving him chest PT and suctioning it out. He is supposed to have a CT today of his head and chest to tell us about his sinus issues. We are still unsure of how long we will be here. They have some nice sleep rooms for the parents. They have thier own restroom,but only a twin bed. You should see Brandon and I squeezed in that thing. At least it is better than the car like the other night. Thank you sooooooo much to everyone who has stopped in to sign Logan's guestbook!! We appreciate you all so much. Keep praying and we will be home soon.
Kyla

Wednesday, August 3, 2005 10:25 PM CDT

Quick update,

Logan is doing better, They weaned the Nitric off and the vent down to 50% They will let him rest through the night and try more tomorrow. He is really a fighter.
They say he has bacterial pneumonia, but the cultures are not back yet to tell what type of bacteria.

They did an echo, but we don't know the results yet.
I will let you know more as I find out. Thank you so much for all the prayers.
Kyla

Wednesday, August 3, 2005 11:17 AM CDT

Where do I begin...

First of all I will give a report on Logan.
He is stable and doing well. He has been weaned from 100% on the vent to 61%. He has a central line in his neck for IV meds and sedation meds. He has an arteial line in his leg for blood pressures and blood gas levels. He has a catheder, a tube in one nostril for stomach acids and one in the other nostril for nutrients. He of course has the vent and is on a heavy regimant of narcotics to help him relax and rest.

So it started in Sunday, We had a great week since Logan had been released from the hospital the prior week. He began to get weak on Sunday and become irritable and said he did not feel well. He SAT's were low and his heart rate was high. I turned his O2 up and gave him some treatments and he did better. He was jumping on the bed and happy. His night was not great so I scheduled an appt. at vandi with the lung Dr. We arrived at 12:45 Logan had a coughing fit on the way, but had recovered and was eating a happy meal. The Dr. was stumped thought it might be his tonsils abstructing his airway along with other things, but Logan looked and sounded good in his lungs. He wanted to get an echo to see where his pressure was and go from there. While waiting for the echo he had a coughing fit and bronchial spasm. He got very hot and aggitated. He was breathing very hard. I turned his O2 up and we put a blow by mask with oxygen in his face. We went for echo ,he was breathing very hard and was uncomfortable. We went back to the lung office and waited with his breathing labored. They decided to admit and found out a few minutes later that his pressure was even higher in his lungs that the week before. We had to wait for a room. The did give him a breathing treatment but he was not being monitored. When we got to the room at 6:30 his O2 levels were 78 on 2.5 liters in the cannulas and the blow by mask going at 40% He was in distress. They let this go on for several hours. His heart rate was 150 or above and would not come down. I told them that this was very abnormal even for Logan and at 9:00 pm I asked them to please put him in the critical care unit. He was not stable and we could not fight him all night to keep the blow by mask on so he would have enough O2. He was breathing 75 rates a minute and was struggling. They told me that it was not necessary. They would give him steroids and watch him. Well they watched all right, they watched him crash right in front of them. They finally decided to take him to the ICU when his CO2 level in his blood came back at 104 the norm is 35 to 45 they came in and a crew rushed him to ICU at 1:45 in the morning after nearly 5 hours after I asked them to and watching him struggle and be scared and in pain. I say they, but really it was one Dr. who was a resident and was the lead Dr. on his team on the floor. She was not listening to me. She had an ego and "God" complex and thought she knew best. Well anyway Brandon and I waited nervously in the hall for 45 minutes when they came out and told us they had to put him on the vent We were devistated. There were other options if he had not gotten to that point and been so bad. They said he dropped to 67 SAT's and was still screaming for his mom. They said he was MAD. He is so tuff. Anyway we walked in and he was knocked out with pain meds and on the vent and we could only kiss him and leave so they could work on him to put a central line in his neck.
He looked so pittiful.
Anyway I ran into that Dr. on the elevator yesterday and told her that if she wanted to be a good Dr. then she needed to start listening to parents who know thier children. I just told her that I was unhappy with the way she took care of Logan and how she let him crash before she became aggresive in his care. She did not like what I was saying, but I needed her to know that she did not do the right thing and he may have not had to be put on the vent if she had responded quicker to his needs. We had a very interesting conversation, and I know she got my point. She had an attitude and I did not, which is unusual. I was firm, but kind and told her that no matter how many nedical degrees she had, she would never know my child better than I do and even with is chronic health issues and all of his illnesses we had never let him get to that point. She walked away from me and said she had to go. So I hope what I said hit home with her and she changes her attitude. I need to go, but I will update as soon as I know more. They are treating him for a lung infection right now.
Please keep praying!!!!
Kyla

Tuesday, August 2, 2005 3:06 AM CDT

I must update quickly to request the prayer warriors to pray for my precious son. 45 minutes ago Logan had to put on a ventilator and they are currently placing a central line. He had another spell last night so I brought him to Vandi today and they admitted him a 6:00 after our 12:45 appt. I will fill you in on some other things later, right now I just need all of your prayers please. Logan is our life and he is such a fighter, this just does not seem to be fair for such a precious baby to endure. I will let you know more later in the morning as we find out more.
Love
Kyla

Friday, July 29, 2005 9:36 PM CDT

Hello everyone,
Well we have been home one week today from Vanderbilt. Logan had an appt. with is pediatrician today for a checkup. All was well. He took his last dose of steroids today so we will wait and see of he continues to feel as "good" as he has. He has been like the energizer bunny times 4 lol. Unforunately for me no one gave me steroids to keep up with him. He was put on antibiotics for 2 teaspoons three times a day for 16 days O.K. by my calcuations that is 48 doses of a really nasty tasting medicine that he hates. It has been torture along with the rest of his meds. Oh well only 27 more doses to go, almost half way there.
Anyhow, the sweat chloride test was not able to be read because Logan did not sweat enough. For those that personally know Logan they know that that seems impossible, because logan sweats like a little bear. I guess anything is possible. So we go back on the 18th for another test, the echo to check his pressure, and a pulmonary visit. We also have a sleep study scheduled on the 16 at the Vanderbilt sleep lab. So that will be a busy week for us. In the mean time we are trying to keep his sinuses moist with saline and see if that helps with the chronic sinusitus. Please pray that we find out what is triggering these episodes so we can stop them from getting so bad. Each time he drops his SAT's and his pressure goes up it damages his lungs even more.


Oh we are also potty training, how fun is that. I have cleaned up pee in every room in the house. It is worse than house breaking a dog lol. I think it is funny the things a person can tolerate, I can handle Logan's health and emergencies calmly and easily for the most part, but this peeing in the floor stuff is for the birds!!!!
He is doing very well actually, I am just being dramatic. He is very smart and I think will have this accomplished in no time!!

Well I hope all of your families are doing well, I think of you all everyday and pray for strength and healing for you all.
lots of love and prayers
Kyla

Thursday, July 21, 2005 11:06 AM CDT

Hello,
I don't have such great news to report about the echo results, but Logan is doing really well otherwise.
The echo came back that the Pulmonary hypertension is elevated quite a bit. The number that it should be is in the teens or low 20's. His has jumped to 79. I had hoped that we would never see this happen again, but I have to be realistic and realize with his lung issues and the infection that he is suffereing from now and the low oxygen levels he has experienced lately, I know that this was to be expected. I wish it was not another added part of the equation, but we have been down this road before and we know we can overcome this. We ae going for the CT scan and sweat chloride test today and we may go home tomorrow. We will go for a sleep study in a few weeks and we may have to have his tonsils removed. Please keep us in your prayers and I will keep you updated as I can.
Logan is doing well otherwise, he is down to 1 and a 1/2 liters and he is moving air alot better. We are very happy to see him back to his little bossy self and giving everyone orders. He is a fighter no doubt about that!!
He keeps me going and not let the worry and fear take over.
Take care everyone, I hope all is well with your families!!!
Kyla

Tuesday, July 19, 2005 6:35 PM CDT

Hello Everyone,
Sorry so long since I last updated!!!
Things have been a little hectic around our house the last few weeks.
Logan has been suffering from what I think may have been a chronic sinus infection which has triggered his reactive airway disease and made his respiratory issues worse. We were in the hospital at home about three weeks or so ago for the same symptoms. His O2 levels just drop and he becomes week wth no apparent symptoms other than a stopped up nose. We had a very rocky week with him and the weekend was even worse!! Can't tell you the last time we slept "peacefully"! We were admitted to our local hospital yesterday morning for resp. distress. Through the night Logan got worse and he dropped his SAT's into the 50's!!!!!!! the only way we could get him to come up was by turning his cannula O2 up to 5 liters (which he has never had to go that high before) and giving him 70% O2 by a blow by mask at the same time. It was very scary for us! Typically there is not a whole lot that Logan can do to scare me anymore, I have pretty much seen it all, but this was unusual. Our pediatrician was going to send us by helicopter to Vandi he was so bad, but becasue I could not go with him to give his history and would be an hour behind him we went by ambulance instead, lights and sirens the whole way. That gave me the goose bumps. I had gone that way when I was in preterm labor with him, but never when he was the patient. It is a little overwhelming to know that that those lights and loud sirens telling everyone to get out of the way is becasue your baby is that sick. No matter how many times we do this and go through it, it never gets any easier on your heart.
Logan did well through the trip and has finally become pretty stable. We origianlly were going to the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit, but he improved enough to go up to the floor. Please keep him in your prayers that we may find out what has been causing these de-SAT episodes. They have been going on since April and there is no clear cause as to why.
They have more chest X-rays scheduled along with an echocardiogram and a CT scan of his sinuses and chest.
Maybe they can tell us something that makes sense.
I hope everyone else is doing well!!! I will try to check on you all. I miss reading your entries and keeping up with everyone.
Take care and God Bless!!!
Kyla

Monday, July 4, 2005 2:46 PM CDT

Hello Everyone,
I have really missed talking to all of you!!!I hope all of my little ones are doing well!
things are going pretty good here right now. Being home has really been great! I am doing some odd jobs on the side for exta income and it seems to be working out. I have a few houses I clean and I keep two kids a couple nights a week over night while the mom works nights. It is going better than I thought.
Logan was in the hospital last week. He starting dropping in O2 levels on Wed. night and I could not get him to come up with 2.5 liters oxygen, breathing treatments or percussion therapy. He dropped to 78 and would not come up so we were in the ER at 3:00am Thursday morning. After a steriod shot and 3 Xopenex treatments back to back and him screaming from the IV he seemed to open up ang get more air in, We stayed till Friday afternoon and they seemed to think he just locked down and could not get air in. Maybe from the weather or allergies we just don't know.
Well I got the insurance mess worked out thank goodness. It just took five days of my life being on the phone and anxiety levels through the roof lol. Anyway hope everyone has a wonderful 4th of July weekend!!! Take care and God Bless

Love,
Kyla, Brandon and Logan

Saturday, June 18, 2005 10:32 AM CDT

Hello All,
Sorry I have not been able to update since I left work. My first week home has been pretty busy. Fun, but busy. Logan is doing pretty good so far. He and I have enjoyed each other and have had alot of things to do to keep us occupied. I started keeping a friend of mines children at night while she is working to help earn a little cash. they are 6 and 8 and have been very helpful so far! From a health standpoint Logan is doing pretty good. He is on a 1/2 liter still and I think he could go to 1/4 during the day and 1/2 at night because he drops at sleep. I am going to play with it and see what we can do. The only crisis right now is our insurance is denying Logans claims to Vanderbilt this year because they are out of network, but they have always been out of network. They are just the closest Childrens Hospital that can take care of Logan, the other one is two hours away. I have spent three different days this week on the phone with either Vandi or Anthem. Yesterday Anthem called to tell me that at this point the medical review Dr. was denying the claims and stateing we had to find someone in network. I told them to get on their handi dandi map and chart the milage between Kosairs and here and Vandi and here and see which one is closer and where all of his records were. I told them that it would cost them the same wether I went to Louisville or Nashville so what was the problem this year verses the other three years we have done this. They could not answer. Now ALL of our Dr.s from Vandi and our pediatrician have to request an MD to MD consult to help the DR. understand why we go there. I get so sick of this crap, if it is not one thing it is 20. I wish the Dr. on those insurance review boards knew how hard it was to be the parent of a medically challenged child whose fate gets decided by someone on a comittee in another state that has no clue what is really going on or what is best for the child, only the insurance company. Like I told them, Brandon and I don't go to the Dr. to so Logan can, and we pay for that insurance oursleves. Anyway enough complaining on my end. We are doing great otherwise. I hope all of my wonderful kids are doing great too. I am going to try and check in on all of you guys as soon as I can.
Kyla

Friday, June 10, 2005 2:59 PM CDT

Hello Everyone,
Well this is it, my last day of work at the Kentucky Lottery.
I sure am going to miss these folks!!! They have been so nice to me and very understanding of Logan’s situation. I have been getting calls all day from people in Louisville and through out our region telling me bye and that they will miss me. It is really nice to know that you are truly liked.
I will admit that I am somewhat nervous about this new endeavor, but you have to take chances in life and jump out on a limb for the ones you love more than anything or you will truly lose out.
It might be a little while before I can update once I am home. I will not have a computer set up for a while, but I will check in and see how everyone is doing. All of my caring bridge kids and their families are very important to me and always on my mind!!!
Thanks to everyone who has taken an interest in Logan and our family, it really has been therapeutic for me to have people who have walked or are walking down this road to share with. Also all of those who may not have walked down the road, but are very compassionate and caring people!!
Logan is doing well by the way. He has really improved this last week or so. He is on ½ liter and he has more stamina than usual.
I hope that this may be a sign of things to come for him. Take care everyone and I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

Kyla

Tuesday, June 7, 2005 7:16 AM CDT

Well only 3 more days until I am officially unemployed lol!!
I am getting excited. I am also having a harder and harder time getting up each morning. I have tried to explain to Logan that I will be home with him all the time in a few days. He gets excited, but I don’t think he will really understand what I mean until I am home a full week or two. I really am looking forward to an enjoyable summer with him, I hope! The only thing that worries me is that when he is with me, he tends to be very whiny and demanding, which I know is typical of a child and their mother, but he gets really bad and wants me to hold him all the time and rock him all day or he cries and throws fits. I have to really work on breaking that image he has of me as the nurse/mom who jumps at every whimper because I am unsure of what is medical and what is typical. We will work it out, it will just take time.

I am afraid to speak too soon on this, but I must share the exciting news! I think (which can be dangerous) that I may have figured out the method to Logan’s sleeping through the night. I believe a huge part of his problem was that he got in the habit of napping periodically throughout the day. This was allowed because he was sick and weak, so he tired easily. Well it never really changed for him, because he was in a routine. That routine has been changed. He either does not take a nap during the day or a very short one of no more than an hour and “VIOLA” he sleeps through the night. I really pray that this is the start of a wonderful sleep experience. It has only been over 3 years since we had that wonderful sleep experience; I forgot how good it feels. Let’s just hope that it will stick around for a while!!!!

I have a request from our “prayer warriors” today and throughout this week. My Godmother, who I love dearly, will be going into surgery Thursday morning to have another part of her lung removed from cancer. Four years ago when I first found out I was pregnant with Logan, they found a spot in her lung and removed it. The surgery was very hard on her and we came close to losing her once. She recovered and has spent the last four years cancer free until last week when she went in for her yearly cancer exam and they found another spot on her lung. Please pray that she has a successful operation with no complications and that she can be cancer free from this point on. She is an amazing woman, who has truly been there for me my whole life. Thank you in advance for the prayers, they are greatly appreciated!

Thanks to everyone for stopping by, please sign in the guestbook so we know you were here. I really look forward to reading the entries!

Kyla

Friday, June 3, 2005 1:22 PM CDT

Hello everyone,

I just wanted to wish everyone a very happy weekend!
Logan is doing very well right now! He was really sick last week with drainage and congestion, we had to turn his O2 up to 2 ½ liters, which is a lot for him. He did not feel like doing anything and you could tell he felt really bad. We went to church Saturday evening for a special mass for my Godmother who found out that she has lung cancer again. They were going to do an anointing of the sick which is a very special event that is very powerful in healing and prayer. While we were there for her, our priest asked if I wanted Logan to be anointed as well and I was very excited to accept. It was a very moving ceremony with close friends and family and Logan was mesmerized. He sat so still as the prayers were being said and the holy oil was being placed on his forehead. I was so proud of him!!!!
Where I was getting with this story is that by Sunday he was feeling better and by Monday he was a totally different child. He was down to ¾ of a liter and now ½ liter. Logan is a true testimony of the power of prayer as are most of these children! There is a church near my house that always had inspirational messages every week, this week it said “ worry is irrelevant, God will provide.” How perfect could that have been for me as well as so many others. I always feel like the message is directed at me, even though I know it is not.

On a lighter note I only have 5 days left here at work, so wish me luck! I know in my heart it will be great. Take care and God Bless
Kyla, Brandon and Logan

Friday, May 27, 2005 1:07 PM CDT

I thought I would update and let you know what we found out about the episode Logan had last Friday. I misspelled the term that our Doc gave us. It was a Basil Vagal Response. Basically the opposite of what happens with an adrenal,” fight or flight mode” response. I believe it was from constipation. You know I was thinking earlier how much Logan will love looking back on these journal entries and how his Mom talked about his bowel movements and all kinds of other fun stuff lol!!! Well that’s what Moms are for right?!!!! Anyway he recovered beautifully from that. On Tuesday afternoon he started draining and coughing real bad. He coughed all night and woke up coughing so I stayed home Wed. with him. He was some better on Wed. night, but I had to be in Louisville at 7:30 on Thursday morning. I had to leave at 5:00am. I set the alarm for 4:15 am I woke up at 5:05 am. I think I broke some kind of record on getting ready with a shower and washing and blow drying my hair. I was on the road at 5:13. I was so wild I threw my shoes in the car and my purse. After I got on the interstate and was in route I looked down and realized I was barefoot and almost had a panic attack. There are not many shoe stores open at 5:00 am. I quickly realized I had thrown my shoes in the floorboard though. Much to my dismay, I was still on time, even early!!! Well I wish everyone a wonderful holiday weekend! Thanks to everyone who stopped by to check on us. I will try to make my rounds as soon as I can.
Kyla

Monday, May 23, 2005 8:47 AM CDT

Hello Everyone,
I am so sorry that it has been so long since my last update!
So much has been going on around here, I have just not been able to sit and concentrate on the entry.
First of all, I wanted to update to let you know that Logan will not be able to go to the in-home preschool like I had so hoped. He had two episodes with his breathing from being outside and all of the pollen. I know that it scared the lady very much and as much as she wants him to be there, it is just too scary especially with all the other children. I knew that it was a long shot, but you don’t know until you try. So with that not being an option any longer for a sitter, and my other sitter going to work full time, that only left me with a Tuesday, Thursday sitter so after much deliberation and a lot of racking my brain, the only option that Brandon and I could think of was that I quit my job and stay home with Logan again. My last day at work is June the 10th. I am excited and nervous all at the same time. I prayed very hard for God to let me know what I needed to do and he did. I feel very good about being with him and knowing I will be the one to take care of him and I know what to do for him, but I am also a little scared from a financial point of view. The funny thing is, I normally worry all the time over money, and now I just have a feeling that it will all work out. I truly believe that God will provide for us just as he always has. I gave my notice on Monday, and Friday afternoon, my mom called in a panic and said I needed to get home right away, Logan was bad and she needed me to get there. That was all she said and hung up. I immediately grabbed my purse and keys and yelled out I had to go, something was wrong with Logan. I flew home with my hazard lights on. At one point I looked at the speedometer and it read 105, thank goodness I use the interstate to get home. I prayed that God would get me there safe and that when I got there Logan would be O.K. Well I got there safe and Logan was stable, but he looked bad. He was very pale and lethargic. He was soaked with sweat and his lips and nail beds were a little purple. His oxygen had been turned up as far as it could go and he was getting his second breathing treatment. I called the Dr. and told her we were on our way. By the time we got to the office, he was perked up and wanting chicken nuggets and a milk shake. For the life of me I could not figure out what had happened. Hid Dr. was of course glad that he was better then when we called, but obviously concerned as to what caused the episode. My nerves were through the roof, but of course I was so relieved that he was O.K. now. My decision to quit was more right than ever. I need to be with him and that is what I am going to do. The Dr. seemed to think that he had a Vega (sp) Where he experienced either a sharp pain or a lot of pressure to have a bowel movement, this can make the heart rate drop (his was 50, way low for him) also the blood pressure, it can cause all the symptoms he had, but we need to find out where the pain came from. I am going to call and see if we can check him for a hernia. Also he gets air trapped in his intestines from his birth issues, which may cause terrible gas pains. I will let you know what I find out. Sorry for the lengthy update, but a lot has happened in the last few days. Take care and please sign in the guest book to let us know you stopped by.
Kyla

Tuesday, May 10, 2005 8:18 AM CDT

After reading my last entry, I am amazed at how anyone could follow it lol. I apologize for the skipping around, but I was interupted several times and had to hurry to complete it. I left off a complete end of a sentence. Thanks still for all of the loving words of encouragement from everyone!
If you have a chance please say a small prayer that Logan will do good today at Ms. Becky's (the in-home preschool)Kim, his sitter will take him over for a few hours to play with the other children. I am so nervous, I am afraid I am putting to much into this and if it does not work I will be sad. This is what Logan needs. He has been at home and away from children most of his life. He is becoming harder to deal with, I think in part because the steroids he has been on the last few weeks alter his mood, but also that he is bored and frustrated with the same routine day after day. I just hope that he enjoys it. He was in a very foul mood this morning. He was extremly whiny and would not stop crying. Of course when the crying starts so does the coughing and gagging from all of the drainage. He was being ugly to Kim and scratched her as I was leaving. I saw him do it and went back in and put him in time out and had to sit there with him so he would stay. I hate when mornings start out that way. I don't want to leave him when he is upset, especially when I am upset with him. Shortly after I left I called Kim who said that he stopped a few minutes after I left and felt bad for the way he acted. He told her he was sorry. I guess all children have thier moments, but he is the only one I have so I don't know what is typical behavior. I don't see other children throwing fits like that. Hopefully he will not be bored anymore and he will not feel the need to misbehave. Well lets hope for that anyway. I have just been having a rough time these last few weeks and I don't know what to do to make it better, so thanks to everyone who listens to me moan and groan. It just feels better to get it out then to keep it in. Thanks for all of the sweet and wonderful support!
Kyla

Monday, May 9, 2005 2:24 PM CDT

I just want to say that I hope everyone had a wonderful Mothers Day!!!
I had a great one. Brandon and Logan gave me a gift card to get a manicure or pedicure form Sun Suites, a spa in Bowling Green. I really thought that was thoughtful! I got to spend the day with my Mom and grandma’s as well and we really enjoyed everyone’s company.
Logan has not changed too much health wise. He is still having some issues with his asthma, at least that is what I think it is. He gets winded very easily. I know that the air was kind of thick parts of the day over the weekend and something was bothering my allergies as well. It just worries me that just about every time of the year presents a problem for him health wise. Spring is allergies, pollen and everything else. Summer is the heat and humidity. Fall is Ragweed and the start of RSV and winter is the cold and Flu season along with bitter cold air. I know that I sound very pessimistic, but it really is the truth. I have just been so worried about his long term health here lately. It seems like the only real understanding I get is from all of you. It is hard for other people to know what it is like to walk in your shoes. I just have to be realistic. Logan will be 4 in September and it won’t be long before we start thinking about Kindergarten. Will he have to go with an oxygen tank strapped to his back? I guess there could be worse things than that, but it just seems like it would be so hard for him in so many ways if that were the case. One being the portable units are not that small and are not that light.
I don’t know why I keep dwelling on this stuff, I am very grateful and feel very blessed and truly fortunate to have Logan just the way he is. I just worry about how it will make him feel and I want him to be happy with his peers and not feel like he is different. You all know how protective we are of our children. I could not stand
My sister had the nerve to tell me that she thought that Logan needed another sibling soon. I told her she must not have a clue what our daily life is like right now or she wouldn’t be saying that, or maybe she just likes to watch me go crazy lol. I don’t know. I just don’t have it in me right now. Logan is full time and then some and I don’t pretend to be super women by no means! Also the fear of other health problems worries me very much. It is just a hard thing to think about right now.
On a much happier note, thanks so much to everyone that signed in Logan’s guestbook with Mothers day wishes. They were all very much appreciated!!! Thanks to everyone who stops by and checks in on my little angel. You guys are a great support group.
I will update again soon! Logan will go to the new preschool for a little while tomorrow and all day on Thursday. I will let you know how it goes. Please say a prayer that it works for him and he is happy there. Talk to you soon.
Kyla

Friday, May 6, 2005 10:29 AM CDT

Hello,
I hope everyone has had a pleasant week so far! It has been pretty good for us. Since the weather warmed up some on Wed. and Thurs. I took Logan outside and we played in the yard and with our neighbor until dark. He had a lot of fun and so did I. I really hope his health will improve with the warm weather. The biggest problem is Pollen right now for him. There is so darn much of it in the air right now. It makes my head hurt pretty much all the time and I feel sleepy a lot. I know it really must hit him hard. I know his Zyrtec helps a lot just not totally.

In the next week or so Logan will be going to an in home preschool down the road from our house for a day or two a week. His therapist think the interaction with the other children his age will help him excel tremendously in speech and large motor development. I am very nervous and excited all at the same time about this change. The lady who has the preschool is wonderful. It is very small with only a few children and we had attempted to take him there when we first moved last year, but we found out the first week that he was in heart failure and stopped after two days. I think he will like it a lot once he is used to it, He is becoming very bored being at home everyday. I know that I would be too. I was afraid that his Oxygen would be a problem, but Ms. Becky, the one who runs it, assured me that it would not be a problem at all and that she wanted whatever was best for Logan while he was there. She seems very excited as well about him being there. She is not afraid or intimidated of him. Her son was a juvenile diabetic and her granddaughter is in remission from Leukemia. Her sister also has COPD, so she is very knowledgeable of medical issues. I feel very safe with Logan being there, I am just nervous of the change in routine and how he will adapt. Just say a little pray that he will do well medically and socially while he is there. I am having a harder and harder time finding in home baby sitters. My college girls are starting full time jobs with better pay for the summer. Kim will stay on with me 2 days a week until she finds a job she really likes, but I can’t depend on her forever. I wish I could though because she is so great with him. He loves “em” as he calls her. When I told him we were going to Disney World to see Mickey Mouse he said “Oh Mom, can Em go?” I laughed and said if she wanted too. Well I guess I must go. I want to wish everyone a very happy Mothers Day and a wonderful weekend!
Love,
Kyla, Brandon and Logan

Tuesday, May 3, 2005 8:15 AM CDT

Hello Everyone,
Hope that everyone is doing well. I have been checking on everyone when I get a chance. I have very exciting news. Last night for the first time in 11 days we all slept through the night. Hooray!!!! I could not believe it, I was so excited this morning when I woke up and we had made it through the night. Anyway I had to start Logan back on a round of steroids Sunday. He was just not doing so well on his breathing and SAT’s.
They really do make a huge difference in him. His SAT’s went from 92 to 94 up to 98. They also went from 78 to 85 when he pulled his O2 out to 92 to 94 which is huge! Now I am just afraid that he will only do well when he is on them and he can’t stay on them. Anyway he is with Brandon today. Our regular sitter had finals and the back up sitter had a stomach bug. Brandon was off work to go to the stockyard and drop off some cows, so Logan will hang out with him until later and then go to my Grandma’s house for a few hours. Anyway that is about all I have to report today. I wish it would get warm soon, I hate this crappy weather. I think we will all feel better when it is warmer.
Oh yeah I forget to tell you guys that Brandon and I actually went on a date Saturday night. It was just the two of us. Normally if we go anywhere it is with another couple that invited us to go with them. We actually went out to eat and then to a few stores shopping. It was very nice and much needed! We hardly get to spend any time together alone and if we are we usually are paying bills or talking about our concerns for Logan which is always stressful. I am sure most of you can totally relate to where I am coming from. I will update again in a few days. Thanks for listening!
Love,
Kyla, Brandon and Logan

Tuesday, April 26, 2005 11:24 AM CDT

Hello all,
Sorry it has been so long since I last updated. Things have been kind of busy and crazy around our house lately!
Nothing really extra ordinary, just typical stuff. With the weather change Logan’s breathing and O2 SAT’s have not been that great. He is up a little on his O2 requirements and his SAT’s are hanging out in the mid to low 90’s even with that. He also took the last dose of Orapred (steroid) last week and I can tell that he does not feel quite as good as he did while taking it. Unfortunately he can not take it very often because it lowers the immune system which could make him less resistant to other bugs. The last thing we need for him to get is any more bugs.
I have been feeling a little cruddy lately myself, I am not sick though. I think it is the weather change and the lack of sleep catching up with me this week. Logan has decided that no matter how hard we try or how much he needs it he will not keep his nasal cannulas in his nose when he is asleep. I swear I know between Brandon and I both we got up 10 times last night and the night before and so on. Every time his alarm went off we would get up and unwrap him from the tubing then fight his little hands to put them back in his nose and pat him back to sleep. It felt like no sooner than we laid down and closed our eyes was the monitor going off again and the cycle started over.
They must really be irritating his nose. We have been giving his nasal spray every day and I can’t see anything that has changed. I really don’t know, but I am hoping it improves very soon. He goes through spells like this from time to time. They never seem like they will end, but eventually they will and we will get some sleep for a few days and then they will start back up again. The actual tiredness is not so much the issue, it is the fact that after a while every day starts to runs into the next and I feel like I don’t know which end is up. I fell very out of sink. That is a not so good feeling.
O.K. so enough whining. I hope that everyone is doing well. I have not been around that much these last few days. I will try and stop by to check on everyone. Thanks to everyone that has signed in with well wishes, we love to hear from you. The entries are all uplifting and appreciated. If you do happen to stop in to check up on Logan, please sign in from time to time just to let us know you stopped by.
I will update again soon. God Bless all of you and keep you safe!!!, and thanks for listening!
Kyla, Brandon and Logan Byard

Monday, April 18, 2005 11:51 AM CDT

Well I hope everyone really enjoyed their weekend!
It was extremely beautiful here. The weather was perfect, warm, and sunny with a cool breeze.
I have to say after Thursday of last week when we went for all of those appt.’s and all the stress that went with them of not knowing what was going on with Logan, things have really settled down. I think Logan knew I was going to have a nervous breakdown so he has been doing exceptionally well since then. He is down to ½ liter of O2 and the steroids are really helping his stamina. He played wonderfully on Sat. and Sun. the only thing was I could not get him to take a nap. He was so tired he could hardly walk, but he would not let me take him in, so I just let him play. He would get a 2nd wind and go full throttle again.
What actually made the weekend the best was that Brandon, my husband, was home with us. He stopped working on the farm early Sat. and Sun. and took Logan and I on the 4-wheeler. We went down to the river where there is a really shallow part and waded. Logan had never done that before so he was really excited. We worked in the yard and grilled out and really had the best weekend I think we have had as a family in a long time!!!! I am so glad that Logan’s test came back good and that he was only suffering from allergy related asthma. I can handle that!
It seems like after Thursday things kept getting better and better. On Friday afternoon I was sitting at my desk and got a call from Jen with The Make A Wish foundation telling me that Logan’s pediatrician had qualified him for a wish and they would like to set up a time to come by and meet to grant Logan a wish. I could have fallen out of my chair. I laughed , I screamed, I cried, I was speechless, and for me that is really something. Logan has been wanting to go and see Mickey Mouse for 6 months and we have never been on a vacation since he was born because of his unstable health. Also we live about 12 hours from Orlando. There would be no way we could take enough portable tanks to get him there and back and to last while we were there, also a medical facility that would be able to treat him if need be. Jen said that they would provide all of that for us, so we did not have to worry about anything. I am telling you I feel like I have won the lottery, which is very funny because I work for the KY Lottery, and can’t play, but anyway it is surreal. Things like this do not normally happen to us. I am so glad that Logan will get this experience. I am a little concerned that he is not old enough to truly enjoy and remember it though. I am asking for opinions from anyway who has done this. Logan will be 4 in September and we can either go in October after his birthday or wait until next year when he turns 5. I am too excited to wait, but I want him to remember it and really enjoy it. So any one who can help feel free to give your advice. I hope that everyone had a good weekend as well.
Thanks to all that have signed the book.
Don’t forget to go by and check on my friend Isaiah. www.caringbridge.org/ky/isaiah. Send up a bunch of prayers for a speedy recovery from his surgery
Kyla

Friday, April 15, 2005 9:13 AM CDT

Hello all, I hope everyone is O.K.!
The last two days have been very anxiety ridden. I took Logan to get X-rays on Wed. afternoon and then to his pediatrician. The problem with Logan and X-rays is that the radiologist always read them as pneumonia because Logan has chronic lung scarring. They usually do not prove to be very helpful and this time was no exception! The Dr. did not think that he had pneumonia; he thought that it could either be the bronchial spasms or pulmonary hypertension. He said his lungs sounded pretty clear, with diminished sounds on the left, which is his small barely functioning lung. He checked his SAT’s and they were 83 on ½ liter. I felt panicky. He recommended we go on to Vanderbilt and have them look him over; he was not sure exactly what was causing the desaturation when he clinically looked so good.
As we left the office feeling worse then I did when we got there, Logan started coughing and having what looked like an asthma attack. I had the portable neb machine, but in my haste to get him to the appt. I forgot his Xopenex( broncho dilator) I told Erin, a friend who went with me to stay right there and I ran up 2 flights of stairs to get him Xopenex from the office. I am sure I looked like a crazed animal running in there demanding Xopenex, I did explain that he was having an asthma attack. I then ran back down two flights of stairs, in heels I might add and when I got to the car completely out of breath, Logan was fine. I was on the verge of a stroke.
I finally got him home and we prepared for the trip to Vandi the next day. I managed to get him in with the cardiologist as well to have an echo. That is the only way to measure the pulmonary pressure.
We got there early enough to go visit our friend Isaiah and his parents. I was so glad to see Nicki and Timmy, and little wonderful Isaiah. He was resting from the long surgery that he had endured and looked really good. He was back on the vent, but they were hoping to wean that today. If you don’t already know Isaiah and want to know more, his site is www.caringbridge.org/ky/isaiah.
My heart aches for them, I know they are exhausted and the emotional rollercoaster is so draining. Please keep them in your prayers, they are such good parents to that little angel.

We went for the Echo first to see if Logan’s pulmonary pressure had spiked, I was a nervous wreck waiting. Thank goodness my Mom was with me!
Luckily, Mandy, the tech who did our last Echo was doing this one. I was so glad, she is very sweet and calls Logan her boyfriend. Throughout the entire test, my eyes were flooded with tears of fear and anxiety. I thought I was going to explode. I really had myself worked up this time and I could not relax until I knew that this monster had not come back. I was so afraid it had.
To explain a little to those who are unfamiliar with pulmonary hypertension, it basically causes elevated pressure into the right side of the heart from the restricted vessels that the blood travels from the lungs into the heart through. When this pressure is elevated, First that means that Logan has lost more function in his lungs, and that is not good obviously and two, it will cause the heart to work very hard to accommodate the extra force and it will start to fail from the hard work. It may take several years to get to that point, but Logan is three and we just don’t want it rearing it’s ugly head ever again in our lives.
O.K. so I will try no to be so long winded and get to the point. When the test was done, I looked at Mandy and said,” I know that you can’t tell me the results, but could you please smile or shake your head and give me a clue because I think I am going to lose it.” She smiled and said,
“Everything looks fine to me, I can’t tell the exact number because the Dr. has to go by an equation, but nothing looked out of the ordinary.”
I hugged her so long and I felt so much relief. Of course we had to wait for the final verdict from Dr. Dodd, but that was good enough for the time being.
We went on to pulmonary and Dr. Fazili looked at his X-rays and said he thought that his lungs had improved and that he felt that if the PH was not causing the low SAT’s then it was probably allergy and asthma related and put him on 5 days of Orapred. He really was happy with Logan other than the low SAT’s. He is on ¾ of a liter and he was at 95 when they checked him. He definnatly wants to do another sleep study, he really thinks that CPap will benefit Logan. At this point I will try anything. We don’t sleep now as it is, so what difference will it make lol.
We left there and went back over to cardiology to get the final results before we went home. At first the Asst. said she would just have to call us when she was done. I did not take that very well, so she got Dr. Dodd to come out and she agreed to look at the test quickly to see if it was O.K. she came out and said everything looked fine and that there was not enough pressure to measure so that would lead her to believe it was normal. I hugged her too, I think it really shocked her, but she smiled anyway. I was sooo happy. We got home at 7:00 pm and everyone in MY family came to see Logan and hug him and tell him how proud they were of him. We are so very proud of him, he has beaten so many odds. Dr. Fazili did say yesterday that he thought Logan had what it took to beat this, and so did we. That made me feel good. Normally they say that it would be nice to look in a crystal ball, but they just don’t know what his future could be like health wise. It was nice to hear encouragement.
This entry ended up being a lot lengthier then I had anticipated. So I will hush now and give the key board a rest. I will post again on Monday. Take care and have blessed weekend. I will be thinking about all of my little sweet caring bridge children. You all are very close to my heart.
Ps please sign in the guestbook! It makes me feel like I am not talking to myself (which has been known to happen) I feel like someone is listening.
Love and Prayers to all,
Kyla

Wednesday, April 13, 2005 8:49 AM CDT

Hello Everyone,
I am very happy to announce to those of you who have not already heard, Isaiah’s surgery went great and he is in recovery doing well. Praise God!!!!
His mom and Dad are exhausted, but are very relieved I am sure. www.caringbridge/ky/isaiah

Well my little mystery man strikes again. Yesterday he and Kim (his Tuesday, Thursday sitter who he calls Em) had a great day. She is really great with him. To be 20 years old and a college student, she is extremely good with children. The thing that impresses me the most is that Logan does not intimidate her; therefore she can handle him very easily. If he needs extra medicine or if he is not feeling well she knows exactly what to do and that takes so much worry off of me when she is there. Since she is so calm with Logan, he does really well for her. He very rarely has any so called episodes with the breathing or the puking. If he does she takes care of it with ease. So yesterday, after me being worried all night about him, he was in rare form. Kim took him outside, he rode his tractor and they played. He did well for Ms. Rachel his PT. He ate for her and he took a good nap. I was so happy when I got home that he was in such a good mood and he looked so good. My grandmother came over and took him to her house down the road. Kim and I walked two miles for exercise. I am surprised I can move today, it had been a while since I have walked that far, but I really enjoyed it. So anyway back to the mystery. I called his pulmonologist at Vandi to see what he thought might be going on. He called me back and said that it could be allergy related bronchial spasms. He also said it could be pneumonia, or could be adolectisis (mucus plugs that collapse the lung in places.)
He said we should take Logan to his pediatrician to get X-rays to see if any of that was the case, if we could not easily come up with a reason for the low SAT’s then to bring him to him on Thursday. I asked him if it was the pulmonary hypertension spiking would his heart rate be elevated. He said that there would be a rise in heart rate. Well at night when we monitor him even if his SAT’s are not where they should be his heart rate has been fine. I felt really good after we hung up and I was convinced it was allergy related.
Logan went to bed as usual. He was in a fine mood. His O2 was set on 1/2 liter, which is twice what he had been on, but lower than the night before. His Sat’s were 93 when I turned the monitor on. It is very sensitive to movement, so I can only use it accurately when he is sleeping and still. Otherwise it jumps around everywhere and you can’t tell what is real and what is not. He did about the same as the night before. He had a couple of times where he pulled his O2 out and he dropped and before I could even get him fixed he came back up into the 80’s, that made me feel better. There were also 2 times that his alarm went off and when I got to him his cannulas were in his nose and he was dropping to the low 80’s and high 70’s. I turned him over on the other side and he came up in to the 90’s. It makes no sense to me. So anyway when I got out of the shower this morning he was asleep and Sat’s were 95 heart rate 112. He woke up a few minutes later and was sitting up in his bed, but he was really still and his SAT’s dropped to 89 and his heart rate went to 140. I felt my heart sink into my stomach, because when we figured out that there was something going on with Logan, more than usual after the RSV was because he had flipped his typical behavior. Normally he dropped at sleep like most of us do, and was higher at wake. I noticed after the RSV that he was higher at sleep then wake. When I pointed it out to the Dr. She wanted an echo and that is how we found out about the heart failure due to pulmonary hypertension. I am so afraid that it has spiked again. Brandon thinks I am overreacting, but I don’t think that you can overreact where Logan is concerned. After his mornings breathing treatment and his vest therapy, he was fine and playing. He was feeling great. That is why he is such a mystery. He gives me a heart attack one minute and is playing and laughing the next. I think that I will still take him to Vandi tomorrow no matter what we find today. I think I might schedule a cardiology visit too if I can get him in. I am a nervous wreck that he has gone backwards. I was so hoping for an oxygen free summer for him to be able to play. I really don’t know what to do. Please keep praying for God to heal his little lungs so he can get big and strong, and be able to enjoy life more. Thanks for listening to me. No one I know really understands what I am talking about, so it just feels good to get all the thoughts out of my head in print sometimes. I will let you know what I find out.
Kyla

Tuesday, April 12, 2005 9:10 AM CDT

Hello All,
I am finally able to update from the weekend.
I wasn’t to say first we went to Isaiah’s benefit and it was great. There were 100’s of people there. It was truly amazing. Isaiah is in surgery right now, the first of many. Please please pray for him to get through this with flying colors and to help his mom and dad through it as well.
Here is his site www.caringbridge.org/ky/isaiah

We FINALLY got Logan a new foot probe for his pulse ox yesterday afternoon. They UPS’d it to our old address. We moved over a year ago and they knew that, but none the less it went there instead, and the people who live there signed for it. I have no clue why they would do that, it had mine and Logan’s name on it. Anyway I was so glad to finally get it because as I had said on the last post, the machine had been going haywire, or so I thought.

We had the same kind of weekend as the days leading up to it. Saturday he woke up whining and then got in a great mood so we decided to go to the neighbors green house to get flowers. When we got there he wanted to take his o2 off so I let him.(he has been doing this for a while to see how he does) We were there 15 minutes and he wanted me to hold him and he was crying and saying he was tired and wanted to go to sleep. He had only been awake 2 1/5 hours. He does not sleep well at night so I know he gets tired easily. This has really been scaring me though because I don’t know if it is his allergies that are causing the energy loss, or lack of Oxygen or his heart. I took him to the car and put his O2 back on him and turned his DVD player on (thank God for technology!!!) He was fine after that. He watched Bear in the Big Blue House while I got my flowers and we left. When we got home he wanted to take a nap, so as usual I rocked him. This went on for three hours on and off. Normally I rock for 15 minutes or so and lay him down. He would wake up every time I would stand up and start to cry, so I set back down. I really needed him to take a nap, because we were going to Isaiah’s benefit supper and I wanted him to be in a good mood. I also had so much to do outside I really needed him to rest so I could get caught up on everything. Well it never happened. I did this for three hours and he NEVER went to sleep. It was pretty frustrating because he was so tired, so I just had to hold him and rock him so that he could rest. I don’t know what the deal was. He did the same thing on Sunday. I even laid down with him for 30 minute. He fell asleep and as soon as I got up he woke up and started crying. He is 3 and ½ years old this is a little ridiculous.
Night times at our house are very eventful. He usually goes down between 8:00 and 8:30 and we usually got to bed at 9:00 or 9:30. He sleeps in our room in his own bed, which by the way we just took his crib size toddler bed down and put up a twin so that he would have more room. We thought maybe he was uncomfortable. Now we have a king size bed and a twin in our room. Thank goodness it is a big room. Anyway I know I got of the subject, but usually just as I get in to a good sleep around 11(it takes me forever to fall asleep, Brandon is snoring before his head hits the pillow) His alarm starts going off. The first of many times that he will tangle himself up in the cords and pull his O2 out. Then we untangle and wrestle him to fix it. This can happen anywhere from 3 to 10 times a night. We do take turns, but I can never fall back asleep. Anyway enough complaining, I know how blessed I am and I do count them everyday. When you don’t have adequate sleep in 3 years you tend to be a little crabby. So one more thing before I stop griping. We put the new probe on Logan last night and we thought this would be the end of the haywire SAT’s. Wrong!!!! He was very pink and happy when I rocked him to sleep and when I hooked up the monitor it was at 69 then jumped to 77 and stayed there. So now Logan is on 1 liter which I know is not a lot, but it feels like we went 10steps backwards because he was down to ¼ and even 3/16 at times. He has quadrupled the amount he was requiring. I have no clue why unless it is allergy related asthma. We upped treatments to every 4 hours and I have called the lung Doc. He has no other symptoms, so I don’t know how to treat him other then breathing treatments. I am so afraid it his pulmonary hypertension has spiked, but his heart rate is where it should be and we make sure his SAT’s are where they need to be so he should be getting enough oxygen. I just don’t now, I keep thinking of all the possibilities, it is making me crazy
By the way he took a four hour nap for my Grandma yesterday while I was work, go figure. Sorry not too much fun to read today. I promise it will be better next time. As long as Logan is better!!!
Thanks for listening. I am slowly getting to all my kids pages today so I will check on everyone as well
Don’t forget to pray for Isaiah. His surgery is on his skull to relieve the pressure on his brain so it is very serious and scary.
Bye, Kyla and Logan

Friday, April 8, 2005 3:35 PM CDT

Good afternoon everyone,

I don't have much to report, other than Logan's pulsox was going haywire last night and I got roughly 3 hours sleep. Other than that he is doing pretty good. He has not quite been himself this week. Not really sick, but not really himself. I can't quite put my finger on it. He was doing that thing where he draws his leg up into his side and grunts again last night. It is so hard to tell why he does that. If you ask him what hurts it is a different answer everytime. Then a few minutes later he stops and goes to play or back to sleep or whatever. I think the next time we go to Vanderbilt I am going to ask the pulmonologist to get abdominal Xrays and see maybe if his scar tissue could cause him pain. I am getting nervous about the upcoming trip to see the cardiologist the first of May. This will be our 6 month check up since he got a good report from her. It took us 11 months to get his heart back to normal after the RSV and I am so afraid that his pulmonary hypertension will be back again. She said it could spike at any time, especially if his lungs were being compromised. I don't think they have been, but I am really scared that they will do the echo and find that it is back up. If it is, that means we won't even be able to think about weaning his O2 during the day. I want so bad for him to be free. I would really like for him to have the opportunity to interact with other children his age this summer without being on a leash. I feel like it is cruel to put him in a situation where kids could trip on his cord and yank his head back if they step on it or make him fall if they trip over it. I just can't do that to him. Please please please pray that his echo is normal and that he can come off of daytime O2.
I have heard the term "prayer warriors" used throughout these pages and I truly believe that is what we are. I know if all of the prayer warriors out there start praying for this to happen for Logan that God will hear their cry the same way he has all along. I know that everynight I lay down and I pray for all of my children on the caring bridge network and throughout the world. Some I pray for specifically by name, for the ones that I don't know the names of I pray for their healing in whatever way that might be. Thanks for all of your support. You guys are awesome and I am so glad I have you to talk to and vent to. As always if anyone out there has been through a similar experience please let me know any advice you might have. I am very open to hearing how other people have done things or how the turnout was.
Take care and have a great weekend!! It is supposed to be really pretty here, I am keeping my fingers crossed, cause I need some sunshine!
Love, Kyla, Brandon and Logan Byard

Thursday, April 7, 2005 10:10 AM CDT

Hey Everybody,
Well Logan has not seemed to be effected by what ever I am infected with.
I am on day four of antibiotics and feel some better, now my head is just full of
Junk lol. Some say that is always the case, but never the less it is more than usual. Logan has really had a very good last few days. Thanks to everyone for the get well wishes. i really appreciate that.
His cough has seemed to Quieted down these last two days, and he has been energetic. He still is ready to go to bed at 7:30 or 8:00 which is fine, but he takes a nap during the day so I am not sure if he is overtired from breathing hard or if that is normal. Tuesday night I was able to turn his O2 down to 3/16 and he SAT”S were 93 or above. Last night I had to go back up to a little over a 1/4 of a liter to get him up in the higher 90’s. For the life of me I cannot see how that little amount of oxygen makes such a difference. Most adults whose SAT’s are in the 80’s require 2 liters of O2 to get into the high 90’s. We breathe 21% oxygen with room air.1/2 liter of Oxygen is only 2% percent over room air, so that means that Logan is only getting less than 1% over room air, but with out it he drops in to the 80’s and sometimes the 70’s. It just really throws me for a loop.
Are you all glad you got your oxygen training for the day lol?
Anyway don’t forget to keep my dear friends Isaiah and Lance in your prayers, also a little girl named Emma who is having a really hard time breathing right now and the Dr’s say her lungs are shutting down. She is a doll. Go by and give her mom some support as well if you have time.
Thanks for listening to me and thanks for coming by and signing the book.
Love,
Kyla, Brandon and Logan Byard
www.caringbridge.org/ky/isaiah
www.caringbridge.org/md/lance
www.caringbridge.org/wi/emmab

Tuesday, April 5, 2005 11:05 AM CDT

Hello Everyone,
(Said with a horse voice)
I was so worried about Logan not feeling well, I went and got bronchitis (yuck!!)
I started loosing my voice Friday, and by Sunday I felt horrible.
I went to the Doctor yesterday and he gave me a shot of Cortisone, and some antibiotics. I hope that by tomorrow I am feeling lots better. I HAVE to be well by Saturday, because they are having a benefit dinner for my friend Isaiah. I would not miss it for the world. It will be the first time I actually get to see him in person and reunite with his awesome Mom Nicky and Dad Tim. It has been three years since I last saw them.
Logan is doing better. He acts like he feels fine, but he still has a cough that sounds nasty at times. Of course the Dr. told me I was contagious and to keep my distance from Logan if at all possible. Well since he is attached to my hip and Brandon is forever working, I don’t see that happening to easily. My mom and grandmother did help me some on Sunday and Monday so I could rest. That was a true blessing!!! I just pray that Logan does not get it or already have it. I called his Dr. to see if we need to start him on an antibiotic. I am still waiting for her to call me back.
I stayed home from work yesterday and I came in late today, to top everything off when I went to get in the shower this morning we had no hot water. Funny how there was hot water when Brandon took his shower. So as bad as I feel I truck out to the gas tank and see that it is sitting on ZERO. I could not believe that we had already gone through 350 gallons of gas at $1.49 a gallon I might add.
Luckily my parents live ½ mile down the road so I went there to take a shower. That was ridiculous. I called the gas company and they are sending 200 gallons out today. It seems like you can never get ahead. Oh well enough whining on my part! I hope everyone had a good weekend!
I was so excited to see all the guestbook entries this morning! Thanks to everyone who signed in. I am going to make my rounds to everyone’s page as soon as I get my work caught up!
Talk to you later
Love,
Kyla, Logan and Brandon Byard

Thursday, March 31, 2005 1:55 PM CST

Well I guess I spoke too soon...
Yesterday Logan had one of his notorious coughing spells and threw up several times.
He has bad allergies and when the weather changes Logan starts draining. He has reactive airway disease so he has a really bad cough. It is very annoying to him and he usually throws up. This happened about 3:30 yesterday afternoon when the babysitter was there. I usually give him a dose of Zyrtec to dry him up and a breathing treatment. He would not let her do either one, instead he just screamed, cried, coughed and threw up. I tried to talk to him on the phone and make him calm down and take his medicine, but he would not stop coughing and crying. I had to call my Mom, who thankfully was close by and she had to go and give him his medicine. I would not have been able to get there for at least 20 minutes even if I had left immediatly. I felt really bad. When things like this happen, which are not very often, I always second guess my decision to go back to work. After two years of endless medical bills and no money, I really don't see anther alternative, unless Brandon (my husband) gets yet another job. We hardly see him as it is with his full time job and his cattle farming. He also has a mowing business in the summer.
Logan slept pretty good last night, I guess the cough medicine helped him sleep. He pulled his oxygen out three times and we had to put it back in his nose, but other than that and the 2:00 am breathing treatment we rested O.K. He was pretty whiny this morning, but that is not unusual. I gave him a breathing treatment and his percussion vest at 5:45 a.m. and he was fine. I hope this does not last very long because he was doing so well. We actually have been able to take his O2 of periodically and he does great. the weather here is finally pretty I hate to keep him inside.
I hope everyone is doing O.K.
If you have a chance go by and say hi to my friend Isaiah.
He is how I first found out about the caring bridge network He is precious. I went to high school with his mom and Dad. They are great Christian people!!!
www.caringbridge.org/ky/isaiah

Tuesday, March 29, 2005 11:55 AM CST

Well I don't really have any news to report or anything like that.
Things have been pretty low key around our house other than Logan not sleeping well, which is pretty ususal. We are having a really hard time getting him to keep his Oxygen in his nose. He keeps pulling it out in his sleep, and when his alarm goes off to let us know he has dropped to low, it is like fighting a tiger to get it back in. He gets so mad and pulls on it and wrestles with us. He has actually broken a couple pairs of nasal cannulas by pulling them away from his face. It makes me feel bad, because I know that they are bothering him, but I can't help it. He has to have it. I just wish he understood.
He has also been crying out in his sleep, alot! I don't think it is because of pain or a dream, he seems to be restless and can't get comfortable. It really makes him mad. If I take the rail off of the toddler bed he will roll out in the floor. I even tried putting his little fold out couch in the floor by our bed thinking he would have more room, but again no luck. I will keep trying knew things until I found out what to do I guess.
One other cute thing he has been doing lately is if he does something he is not supposed to do, or if I scold him for something, he says" don't be mad mom" real sweet and innocent like. How could I be mad then. I just melt and feel like a real mean mommy. He really knows how to work it, let me tell ya.
Please keep my friends Tina and Lance in your prayers, they have been having a rough time lately and need some relief!!
www.caringbridge.org/md/lance.
He is a real super man let me tell you, and his mom is super women for sure!
Anyway I am glad to hear that everyone had a pretty good Easter. I guess I will check back with everyone tomorrow.
Bye,
Kyla

Monday, March 28, 2005 12:48 AM CST

Good Monday morning,

Well I guess it is not morning anymore, but you know what I mean.
Logan had a pretty good Easter. It actually started on Sat. we went to Easter Vigil Mass. (Catholic thing) All day he kept telling me he wanted to go to Jesus house. It was so sweet. I told him we were going and he got so excited. He was so good through out the whole thing (1hour 45 min) He was so mesmerized by everything that was going on. He even helped us sing. My family and another lady are the choir for Sat. evening service. He set on the organ in the choir loft and helped with the music. Before church started he picked up a song book and started singing” Jesus Loves Me” he knew all the words and he thought he was too funny. Of course we were all just bragging on him. Anyway yesterday we went to my Grandma’s for Easter dinner. It was raining so we did not do an Easter egg hunt. Logan is the only little one in the family, the next youngest is 15 so he doesn’t care much for Easter egg hunting. Logan kept us all entertained. He got 4 Easter baskets so he was pretty wound up on chocolate. He did not take a nap all day until 3:30 then he only slept for 30 minutes than he was wide open again. I was exhausted. Anyway I hope everyone had a joyable Easter. I hope that all is well with everyone. I appreciate all of you signing in the guestbook. I really enjoy reading the entries. Please sign the guestbook if you have time. I am going to try and fix Logan’s oversized picture one night his week.
Talk to you soon,
Kyla

Friday, March 25, 2005 12:34 AM CST

Hello everyone and Happy Good Friday!!

I as off work yesterday and stayed home with Logan for the day. His babysitter is in Florida on spring break (I am so jealous!!)so I took off to be with him. He was a little confused as to why I was home. He kept asking if Nana (my mom) was going to be there, or mamaw(his greatgrandma) I said "no I get to be with you all day isn't that great?" He looked at me and said "I want Nanna" Well that made me feel like poop. I told him he was going to make me cry so he hugged me and said "don't cry Mom" He is sooooo sweat when he wants to be. He is in this habit of saying no to everything here lately. When I ask him to do something he just says no over and over again. We had to do time out several times this week.
Our friends kristen, Emme, and baby Jack came over to play yesterday with us. It was fun , but they always wear Kristin and I out We rarely get to talk to one another because we are to busy making them share, feeding, changing and entertaining them. It was still great for Logan to get the interaction he needs from other children.
I took Logan's O2 off last night for several hours and he stayed really pink in his lips and nails. I was very nervous about testing it, but I had to know. It was at 88 which is not great, but better then 68 or 78. He needs to be at least in the 90's I hope that we can get to that point soon. At least during the day. At night he will still have to wear it.

Anyway I have been thinking about all you sweet wonderful families that I read about everyday in here. I pray that everyone has a wonderful joyous Easter. What a wonderful time of celebration, to praise and worship our wonderful Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To know all of the sacrifices he made for us, and all the love and healing he has given us. To all of the mothers out there, think about the ultimate mother, Mary who was chosen to be the Mother of Jesus Christ, think how she felt as she watched her son be crucified. I can't imagine her pain. I pray that she will give me strength as a mother to be the best I can be for Logan. Happy Easter and God bless you all.

Wednesday, March 23, 2005 7:18 AM CST

Good morning everyone!
I just wanted tot tell you that I tried to post a picture of Logan, it is there, but not how I really wanted.
I had scanned a picture of him on his third birthday. It was an 8X10 so now the picture is huge. At least you can get a chance to see him even if it is extra large.
I will try to fix it tonight if I can. I am not really great at that kind of stuff.
Anyway thanks to everyone who has signed in the guestbook, I really enjoy reading the entries every morning. It really gives me something to look forward to.
If caring bridge makes everyone remove the links from their pages, someone will have to show me how to bookmark the pages I visit because I don't think I know how. I am sure it is really simple like adding to my favorites, but I am not real sure.

Anyway we had a pretty good night last night. The rainy cold weather is hard on Logan's breathing, but he did O.K. He is still on 1/4 of a liter and his SAT's are pretty good ranging from 92 to 98. I am really afraid that we will have to wind up with Cpap before too long. He is snoring more and more and when I rock him to sleep at night he seems like he is struggling so hard to get air in his nose and mouth. He will jerk and jump and suck in a deep breath like he was not getting enough air. We know that Logan has a small jaw structure like Brandon and will require alot of orthodontics. They need to expand his pallet top and bottom and then he will need braces even though his teeth are straight. they said he would need it done when his 6 year molars come in. I am not looking forward to having him be in full mouth gear at 6 or 7, but I know how much it will help his open mouth breathing and his obstructive airway issues that his tongue is causing because it does not have enough room in his mouth. We go back in May to the lung doc and he will decide if he needs another sleep study to determine if Cpap is the way to go. I just am hoping that is not the case, because I have been told by adults that it takes your breath away and makes you feel like you are suffocating. Logan already has issues at night with his nasal cannulas that are only blowing in a small flow of O2. I can't imagine what it would be like if there was a forceful air being blown in.
I guess we will find out then, just keep your fingers crossed that it will not be necessary, and that he will get enough air on his own.
Must go for now, Hope everyone is doing well!!

Tuesday, March 22, 2005 7:13 AM CST

Hello all,

I hope every one had a plesant weekend!
Logan did pretty well, we actually got to go outside for while and he rode his battery operated John Deer tractor all over the place. What I love about that thing is it has a wagon on the back so I can put Logan's portable O2 tank in it and he can go and be free. That is one of the reasons we bought it and the other was because Logan wanted a tractor just like his daddy's.
He has been doing this weird thing that I can't put my finger on. He will lay in the floor and draw his leg up under his ribs and grunt. Half the time he does not act like he feels bad, but like it is more for attention. When I ask him what hurts he points to his heart and says his belly hurts. I then asked him to show me exactly where it hurts and he points to his heart area. He says he doesn't know when I ask him how it hurts or how I can help him. If you ignore him for a minute he starts laughing. i can't tell if there is really something wrong or if he is just a little actor like his mamma was. He does not do it all the time, but when he does it worries me. I tried explaining the story of the boy who cried wolf to him, but try getting a 3 year old to really understand the moral to that story. he just looked at me like I was crazy. I could not help but laugh. I know you are probably thinking how can he be acting about something like that, well you just have to know Logan. he was born into a family of actors. We all have been on stage at one point or another and were pretty dramatic off stage as well!
Logan has learned that when I don't come to him when he calls, he tells me to hurry because he is turning blue.
Now you tell me how a 2 1/2 year old knows how to work that one. He started saying that to me about a year ago, I was shocked that he had picked up on that. Also when he wants me to sit and rock him or hold him he says "Mom, I need to breath" which means he needs a breathing treatment, even if he doesn't. He cracks me up. he is so tuff!! I can't even begin to describe how proud I am of him for beating so many odds and proving so many wrong. He still has a long road ahead of him, but he gives me so much hope just by watching him run and play.
He is so sweet too!!! He is always telling me he loves me, and at night he says "night, night Momma, love you" And in the morning instead of saying good morning he says "good night mom" I will tell him it is good morning and he will sy that after I remind him. He is just so funny and cute. I promise I will post his picture just as soon as I can use my dad's scanner.

Logan's oxygen saturation levels AKA SAT's have been wierd. I think it is the probe not him, but I can't tell. His alarm went off 5 or 6 times last night and by the time I stood up to go to him it would jump up to 95. That thing is so frustrating to watch. There is never uniterupted sleep around our house, much like the rest of you I am sure. We should form a sleep deprived secret society. Wouldn't we be a bunch of fun(laughing)!

Well just in case anyone was wondering, I did go see that movie and is what not half as scary as the first. I was so glad. If you liked the first one, then you would like the 2nd I think. It is pretty fast paced. Hope you have a great day.

Friday, March 18, 2005 3:45 PM CST

Hello all,
It is Friday and I just wanted to wish everyone a splendid weekend. Logan has been doing pretty well with his O2 levels. He pulled his cannulas out about 4 times last night and dropped ,but went right back up when I put them back in.
My God sister has asked me to go see the movie The Ring 2 with her this weekend and can I just tell you that I am terrified already. I don't really like scary movies, but somehow my aunt talked me into watching the first one with her and now my curiosity of what the second one holds is over powering my paralyzing fear of scary movies. I don't know if I will go or not. I will let you know on Monday how it went. Again have a great weekend!!!

Tuesday, March 15, 2005 1:04 PM CST

I have to let you know that another one of our precious angels earned his wings yesterday. Ashton Shane who suffered from the same birth condition as Logan lost his battle yesterday and went to be with God. www.caringbridge.org/ny/ashtonshane
I have never posted an entry like this, but I was just introduced to Ashton's page this morning because of the similarities in his and Logan's condition. The first journal entry was the announcement of his departure.

I have always been told none of us have any gaurenties in this world, but one thing you rarely think of happening is having your child go before you. That is something no parent should ever have to enure. the sad part is it happens every day to many people. I know that our children are a loan from God, but the agony of letting go of them is too unbearable to deal with. That has been my fear since I was five months pregnant with Logan. Even 4 years later I go to bed begging and praying to God to let me hold him for a while longer, let things continue to improve and him lead a resonably normal life. I find such encouragement from the families on this site who respect and try to except God's will. As hard as I try I don't think I will ever be able to except Logan not being in my life. I am sorry for the sadness to this entry, but I think about this stuff all the time. It has taken over my train of thought and I can't push it out sometimes. All I ever wanted was to be a mom and I just pray dearly that I can continue to be apart of the greatest honor and gift this earth ever has to offer!!!

On a more positive note, Logan had a great night. His sats were higher than they had been in a while, 98 on 1/4 of a liter, I was impressed. I am really trying not to get my hopes up about weaning his oxygen for the spring. I really hope this happens, but I am trying not to think about it too much in case it does not. we go to the pulmonologist and cardiologist the end of April for an echo and to see how he is doing with the decrease in O2. Dr. Fazili wants to do another sleep study to see if logan needs cpap at night. I know one thing if Cpap for kids is like the one my grandfather had I don't see how in the world I will keep it on him. Must go for now, hope every one is doing O.K. I will be thinking about you.
Love,
Kyla

Monday, March 14, 2005 11:57 AM CST

Sorry it has taken me so long between entries.
Everything has been going pretty steady around our house. Logan is still at 1/4 of a liter most of the time and does pretty well. He drops a little at night and sometimes I have to turn the O2 up a little. The other day I tried him with no oxygen for a while and even though his lips and nail beds were pink and he was not struggling, his monitor read out at 68.I could not believe it so I put it on me and it said 98. I put it back on Logan and it was in the high 70's. I have a hard time believing he could have been so low and not shown any clinical signs of distress. Somedays I just want to throw that pulseox out the window. You know the old saying "ignorance is bliss" I feel like I just want to live in a little ingnorance every now and then. I would never do that of course. I would never throw the monitor out either for one, that thing was too expensive and two I would go crazy not being able to look at it all night long to make sure he is O.K. I don't need to depend on it so much. I am supposed to look at him not what the machine says. That is easier said than done though.


This weekend went pretty well. The sun was out enough we were able to go outside for a little while. Logan really needed that! He is so tired of being house bound for the winter. He is getting cabin fever. I am too so it must be pretty bad for him.
I hope everyone is doing O.K. today. I really have had a lot of these precious little ones on my mind lately.

Kyla

Tuesday, March 8, 2005 3:02 PM CST

Hello to all,
I am almost caught up to the present day with Logans' journey.
I will try to somerize a much as possible so I can get to what is going in recently.
After the diagnosed heart failure we stayed at Vanderbilt for about 5 days. We fired our old pulmonologist and hired a new one, who we truly love. Logan was put back on lasix to keep the fluid down in his lungs. He was also back on full time O2 until further notice. We have had alot of ups and downs since then. We had appts. with the heart Doc. every two weeks for a while to check to see if his heart was O.K. and check the pressure in his lungs. It went down from 85 to the high 50's right after we started the medicine. We were aiming for the 20's or teens. The heart doc was not very opyimistic that Logan would ever see those numbers again. With his small and damaged lung to begin with and the damamge the RSV caused this could be a pernmanent medical condition for logan. I had a really hard time excepting that. He had come so far and beat so many odds, I could not beleive we were back to square one. The problem with pulmonary hypertension is that normally older people get it in their 60's or 70's and eventually it wear out their heart over the course of 10 or more years. Well that seems reasonable when you are that age, but when you are two years old that is a little harder to except.
After a few months we started going back to the heart Doc once a month and the pressure and slowly stayed in the 40's we were really hoping for at least the low 30's. Finally in November of 2004 11 months after Logan got RSV we went to the heart Doc and she nearly fell out of her seat with Logan's test results. They were completly normal. His heart had no permanant damage and the pressure was right back down to where it should be on a typically healthy child. I was so happy i cried and laughed and hugged logan. he did not have a clue what was going on. We had to contimue the oxygen through out the winter to help his lungs heal and so as to not get back in the same boat we were in. Life was truly good and has really continued to be. We have moments, and a lot of them that things aren't the way we would like, but over all we are so very happy and feel so very blessed that God has protected and healed our baby the way he has.
Loga is still on oxygen all the time, but he is at 1/2 liter most of the time and even 1/4. The pulmonary doc said we could try and wean this summer and I am glad

Monday, March 7, 2005 10:10 AM CST

Before I start where I left off with Logan's journey I just want to talk a little.
I have been visiting alot of websites on the caringbridge web pages since I have learned about it. I want to say first of all it is the most wonderful orginized support center I have ever seen. I have just been so overwhelmed with the pages I have come across.
I feel really selfish for some of the feelings I have at times when it comes to Logan's illness. I have came across so many prayer request for other caring bridge children whose parents aren't as lucky as I to still have their children, or they know that it is just a matter of time before they no longer have them here on this earth. I have prayed for all of them to have peace in their hearts as well as myself for God to show me the strength with in myself that these other mothers posses.I have set at my desk at work and read these journal entries and I have wept for these families.
I know that my tears don't really help any of these families, but I just have to tell someone how much you have all touched my hearts. Your beautiful children are all angels of God and I feel so blessed to have been able to know them in some way, even if it is only through the internet. That is all, I just wanted to aknowledge in some what all of these wonderful people have brought to my life. Your deep love for you family and your deep faith in God as well as your amazing strength as human beings have all been extremly inspirational to me.

To catch you up a little. Logan has recovered from heart surgery and is on the milk free diet and it is working.

Over the course of the next year our lives were pretty normal for us. Logan's health had improved, he was no longer requiring oxygen at wake or sleep unless he was congested. He was doing very well. I decided after his second bday to go back to work full time. The medical bills were killing us. Logan was staying with a friend who was a stay at home mom. Her children were 9,7,and 3. He really enjoyed staying with Pam and the kids.
When November rolled around and it was time for the flu and RSV season to start up, we made a request for Logan to continue getting Syniges shots that year the same as he had gotten the two seasons before. Syniges is the medication that can keep children with lung deficiancies from getting RSV. It is a very expensive medication, and because Logan had turned two the insurance denied the claim. I really did not know to fight their decision at the time, so we just kept Logan out of public places, and did not let any one aroud him that had been sick. we tried very hard to keep him well, but despite all of our efforts somehow Logan got sick.
We were scheduled for an appt. with the GI doc at Vandi the day he becane ill. While we were there I stpped by and asked the pulmonary doc if he would see us. When they put us in a room his temp was 103.5. Logan never runs a fever. They sent us for x-rays and said his lungs looked clear. I asked the doc if he thought Logan could ahve RSV or the flu and he said,"I don't know,maybe." I really did not know what that meant, but he did not seem too concerned. He said he thought it was his asthma and sent us home wiht no test.
Two days later, Logan was much worse and we were on our way to the hospital. They admitted him on 4 liters of oxygen and he tested positive for RSV. I could have passed out. Keep in mind the Docs at Vandi told us when he was born that if he got RSV it would most likely kill him. We were there for 6 days on high levels of O2 and a lot of resp. therapy. I called his lung doc and told him how unhappy I was that he did not catch this. We went home finally, but we were back three more times for low oxygen and high resp. rate. Long story short our own small town pediatrician took excellent care of Logan and decided to have his heart tested because fo his symptoms. When she did they found that he was in heart failure due to pulmonary hypertension. I was called at work by the heart doc at Vandi and was told to get him there asap. I was a nervouse wreck. I had to leave work and go home and get him from my mom's and then hit the interstate and drive an hour to Nashville to the hospital while his heart is failing. When I pulled up in the drive way my husband was leaning on his truck outside crying harder than I have ever seen anyone cry before. I felt so bad for him, this was hard on all of us, but to see Brandon cry like that broke my heart.

we got Logan there with an army of people behind us. There was the three of us, my mom and dad, Brandon's mom, my sister and her boyfriend all packed into a tiny exam room
The Dr. said that the amount of damage done to his lungs from the RSV had caused them not to be able to take in as much oxygen. This caused his heart to go into overdrive to make up for it. The pressure in his pulmonary artery should have been in the low teens. His was at 85. His tricuspid vavle was regurgitating blood and leaking. All the while Logan looked for the most part completly fine to have all this stuff going on. He just looked at us so bewildered as to what was going on, he knew something was wrong. We all tried to hide the tears, but it was too hard. We had fought so hard for this baby, how could all this be happening.

Friday, March 4, 2005 9:37 AM CST

I made it back to Bowling Green and immediately met with my family and explained what was going on. We were all so much in shock still, it was hard to fatham. We went home to be with our little boy and pleaded with God to let him be O.K.
Since the surgery was scheduled for the 29th of OCt. we knew Logan would not get to trick or treat and this would be his forst halloween to be able to do so. We called all of our close freinds and let them know we would be trick or treating early this year. We took Logan to a few places dressed in a holstien cow costume. He was so cute. We were very greatful to all of the people who celebrated this small milestone with us together. Logan really enjoyed all of the attention he recieved. We also got a wonderful surprise from our dear friend Natalie and her co-workers. We stopped by the hair salon where she worked to show Logan off. While we were there she gave me a card with the most beautiful words of encouragement inside along with $250 that they had collected to help us pay for our stay in Nashville during the surgery. I was amazed and overwhelmed at thier generosity. People really don't know how expensive it can get when you have to live away form home like that. We could not just drive home for lunch or dinner. The meals alone would break you at times. It was such a wonderful display of kindness.
Surgery went as scheduled. We arrived at 5:00am at the hospital and by 6:30 they had taken Logan back to prep him for surgery. I was terryfied. I went into the chapel to ak God to give Logan the strength to get through this surgery amd me the strength to get through the day. I felt like I could explode with anxiety. God granted both of my request.He gave me peace of mind that my baby would get through this surgery with flying colors and he did. Logan did everything text book perfect. We were home in three days and it almost seemed like a bad nightmare that really did not happen. Logan recovered well from surgery. He continued to have a very progressive next few months and did go oxygen free at that time. Life was good. Still had several hospital stays over the allergies. Had him tested and he was allergic to dust, dust mites, and all pollens. So the outdoors were not pleasant for us until we found Zyrtec. We also had an endoscopy done because he was not gaining weight. they found he was allergic to milk protien so we had to go on a total milk free diet which is alot more than you would think. If that did not work in 6 months they were going to have to wrap his esophagus shut because the acid was causing so much damage. The diet worked and Logan began to gain weight and growing.

Thursday, March 3, 2005 8:47 AM CST

We have just discovered that Logan had severe reflux due to the positioning of his stomach after surgery. The problem with this is, if he aspirates on any of his acid reflux it can cause serious pnemonia's and it can scar his already damaged lungs permanantly. During this hospital stay the Cardiologist checked his heart with an echo to see if the PDA vavle was still closed in his heart. They found that it was and that Logan had what seemed to be an innocent mumor. We had to start him on several medications. Liquid Pepcid and Regaln were two of the medications we had to give him. The Reglan was 4 times a day 30 minutes before meals. He hated it! It wasn't my favorite thing to do either.
After we tried to get the reflux under control and stabalize his oxygen levels, things start to slowly stabalize. The first year was rocky, we were in and out of the hospital several times with respirtory distress. We were sure he had allergies, but they could not test him until he was closer to two years of age. We went through a slue of allergy meds and started taking breathing treatments somewhere around 5 months.
Logan was being seen by a physical therapist and on Ocupational therapist from the time he was 4 months old. A speach therapist was brought in at 9 months old. We loved them and they really helped Logan catch up from being so sick. Around his first birthday we were able to slowly wean his oxygen off in the day and he slept with it on at night. He was weaned down to 1/64 of a liter, which is a puff. His lungs just needed that little puff to get him over the hump.
He was walking pretty good by his birthday, still holding on to furniture a little.
The week before his birthday we had gone to the Pulmonologist to talk about his oxygen being weaned. I had asked him if we needed to go to the heart Dr. because Logan had a mumor that was thought to be innocent, but several medical professionals had commented on the fact that it was really a loud mumor. He said that he thought that was probably a good idea and set up an appointment for us to go the first of October 2002.
My grandmother made the trip with me and Logan to Vanderbilt for what we thought was a routine checkup. After the echo we were told to wait in this room for the Dr. When she came in she explained that Logan's mumor had gotten louder and that there was some changes in the way his heart looked.
Slowly she got out that Logan had a muscle growth under his aorta that needed to be removed and he would have to undergo open-heart surgery by the end of that month in order to live. I was so stunned and shocked my knees went week. I could not believe that my baby was going to have to go through another life threatenning ordeal. The diagnosis was sub-aortic stenosis. Surgery was scheduled for Oct.29
I drove home on the interstate with so many tears in my eyes I could barely see to drive. I had to get us home so we could break the news to the rest of the family.

Wednesday, March 2, 2005 2:55 PM CST

So now here we are somewhere toward the end of September 2001 Logan has Ecoli in both of his lungs and in his body. He was still on the vent and not doing to well. His wole body was septic which means covered in infection. He had several horrible nights and days. They went in and did a brochoscopy and sucked some of the mucus out of his lungs. They put him on an ocsilating vent to help control his CO2 output. He was having a hard time expelling the oxygen he took in.
They did a culture of the ET tube which is the tube that went into his lungs and connected to the vent. It tested positive for Ecoli. We had a serious problem. We could not take Logan off of the vent to get the ecoli out of the tube, but we did not need to leave the tube in because it was keeping the Ecoli alive in his lungs. The Dr's decided to pump him full of some pretty heavy hitting antibiotics.
They kept the antibiotic treatment going for a week or so. One evening during this time, I got to finally hold Logan, while I was holding him I noticed his arm was really red a swollen. I told the nurse, but she seemed unconcerned. When my husband got there that evening from work I showed him. We layed him on his bed and took the little gown off that was covering his arm. We then found that the central line carrying TPN (very strong acidic electrolytes) to a main artery had been infiltrated while the dressing was being cleaned and no one noticed but us. We got his Dr. in and talked to him about it. They did an Xray and found that it was infact leaking. He told us that they would not have to put another one in because Logan was going to start being tube fed in the morning. The down side to this was the nurse told us that TPN was very strong and could eat away muscle. She said we should no the extent of the damamge in 24 hours. Worse case scenario would be having to amputate Logans arm if it started turning black from all the dead muscle. We were completly devistated once again. We could not believe this was happening. There were so many other things going on how could this be happening.
We left to go get something to eat during the shift change and when we came back they would not let us in to see Logan. They said they were in a sterile procedure to place a new ART line in. I was confused because the Dr. said we did not need another one. Anyway when we got to see him finally, he was heavily sedated and strapped down becasue they stuck him 15 times, yes 15 times. You could count the holes in his arm. I could not believe they would do that to him and still not get it in. That was another one of the worst days in my life. Luckily by the grace of God, Logan's muscle was not damaged in his arm because we found the leak very early. After many episodes and a roller coaster of emotions later, Logan was finally able to be weaned off of the vent and put on nasal cannulas. We were so happy. This happened around Halloween. we got to move down to a less intensive care room and within a few days they asked us if we were ready to go home. I, of course; was not ready to go. i did not think I could take care of this little baby with all of these monitors and tubes, and oxygen and medicine. My husband and I talked it over and decided it was now or never, we could do this. Keep in mind I was 21 and he was 23 at the time and Logan was our first child, We knew nothing about typical baby stuff and now we were going home with a 7 week old that had more medical equipment than we had ever seen in our life. One thing in our favor was that I was in the middle of nursing school when we found out logan had a medical condition and I had worked in a hospital for a couple of years prior. I was still pretty green, but at least I had a little bit of a clue.
we arrived in BG on November,2nd 2001 with our baby boy. What a scary night that was. I think my mom satyed with us, but she knew less than we did about the medical end. He was on medication every 2 hours and he had to eat every third hour. He was fluid restricted because of all the fluid in his lungs so we had to be very careful not to give him over 2 ounces at a time. We also had to add calories to the breast milk I had pumped to help him gain weight.
We had a recipe that I had to mix for every 20 ounces of milk. It included corn oil and polycose powder, found in the pharmacy. Life was slowly starting to get on a balanced cycle and then Logan got sick. We could not figure out why he was breathing so fast so we took him to our pediatrician who was supposed to be the best. HA. She was far from that we later found out. Anyway off to Vanderbilt we go to the ER. After Xrays it was decided that Logan had pnumonia from aspiration. He was diagnosed with reflux. More later

Monday, February 28, 2005 3:17 PM CST

Sorry so long to update.
o.K. so now Logan is out of surgery and we are on cloud 9. I did not think life could get any better. We were not able to see him for a couple hours after he got out of surgery. At this time most of our friends and family had gone back to Bowling Green. My husband, Brandon and I walked into the recovery room and I nearly passed out. All the joy and happiness I had experienced was completly errased by an overwhelming sadness. Logan lay on a bed hooked to all new tubes and wires, twice as much as before. He was covered in betodine and his little face and body were so swollen and bruised from surgery. He looked so bad. I felt like my whole world was falling apart again. My little baby had been cut on in so many places(all necessary) and there was nothing I could do to make the pain go away. I could not even hold him to comfort him. We went back to the Ronald Mcdonald house that night just as terrified and haert broken as before.
Logan spent the next week trying to recover from his surgery. They were constantly pumping morhine in him for pain. I could only touch the top of his head because too much contact could upset him. He was slowly loosing alot of the extra fluids and his face was going back to it's normal size. He was so beautiful. I only got to see his eyes once in three weeks because of the sedation, but they were so beautiful. They were big and round and as dark as night, so dark blue they almost looked like a coblat blue. He was an angel on earth from day one. A week after surgery logan began to get very sick and they were not sure why. His lungs had collapsed several times and they had to blow them open with the ambu bag. He had developed a large knot on his surgical site which was suspected to be a hematoma(pooled blood). The Doctors all decided that the reason Logan was not well was because his PDA vavle in his heart was not closed. It should have closed at birth, but did not. They were going to take him to surgery to close it off the next day. That night Brandon and i were giving him a sponge bath and noticed a puss pocket were the chest tube had been. We showed the nurse who had the puss cultured. The results came back Ecoli. They decided to check the knot on his scar and when they lanced it, puss spewed from it. Ecoli as well. If Logan had gone into surgery with out this being noticed, he would have died. The Ecoli would have spread to his heart and killed him. The reason Logan was so sick was because He had Ecoli all through his body and in both of his lungs. Must go for now, I will add more tomorrow.

Monday, February 21, 2005 11:06 AM CST

I found out about the Caring Bridge website only a short time ago. I had a calssmate from high school whose child's progress was being followed through the site. I wish I had only known about it when Logan was born. There were many times I needed to post information about him or just vent and talk.
I met another Mom through the site by accident and she persuaded me to make a page for Logan. I am glad I am. I would love to talk to other parents with similar issues.

I guess I should start a little toward the begining to fill you on on what happened after Logan was born.

First of all I was taken to Vanderbilt from Bowling Green by ambulance twice. Once for high blood pressure ( a side effect of Logan's condition) and a second time for preterm labor. After the second trip on Sept. 9th 2001 the Dr's decided to keep me in Nashville until he was born. My husband and I celebrated our second weeding anniversary the day before they were to induce my labor.

Logan was born at 5:17 pm on Wedsnday Sept. 19th 2001
He was rushed immediatly to the team of Dr's that were set up outside my delivery room. He was intubated and rushed off to the the NICU before I ever got to see him.
My first glimpse of Logan was three hours after he was born. They had to stabilize him first. When I entered this dark room, quite all except for the sound of beeping monitors, it was alittle overwhelming. Logan lay in an open bed warmer hooked up to every tube and wire there was. He was so precious laying there, and it was so intimidating to look at him and be too afraid to touch him. He looked so fragile.
They told me if he could make it through the night, then his chances of survival had increased by 20%. I prayed so hard that night that my baby would be alive come morning.

At 5:00 a.m. Thursday morning Logan had made it through the night and they were planning his surgery.

He had surgery at 1:00pm on Friday the 21st. His surgeon was an angel on earth as far as we are concerned. Logan was in OR for over five hours and then the Dr. came out and told us the operation was succesful and that he thought Logan would do fine. My husband and I fell to our knees and thanked the Lord above for sparing our baby.

I will make another journal entry later to tell what happened after that.

Monday, February 21, 2005 10:44 AM CST

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