History

Wednesday, December 31, 2008 9:06 PM CST

As I told a friend, I do not understand "Happy New Year"--is that to mean for December 31st's festivities or does that include a whole year of "happiness"--I do not think that is possible. Being happy is situational.

Joyful is different.

My prayer is for those who are hurting and sick to find the true strength in troubled times--to find Hope and Joy.

We continue to pray for Laura, Kody and Grandma Lodgie. We rejoice with a family whose son was able to have his central line placed.

Rejoice,
Thanksgiving
and
Praise.

Resting in Him.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008 9:23 PM CST

The wind is helping to blow in the new year.

Kids are pretty congested; I'm starting something.

Tonight Olivia fell asleep during the reading of Prince Caspian. Could tell by how her breathing changed.

Continued prayers for Kody, Laura and our Grandma Lodgie. Long roads ahead for all.

It takes a long time to get over having been put "under" for surgery--some say up to a year the effects can still be felt.

We are holding tightly to Jesus.

Monday, December 29, 2008 8:35 AM CST

All are due in this late afternoon.

We are most concerned over Kody who is at Cincy Childrens struggling. Also, our dear Laura as she heals and grows stronger.

Lifting them up in prayer.

Saturday, December 27, 2008 5:33 PM CST

Enjoy Miss Olivia BEFORE her piano recital!

My Mom has been home since December 24th and each day she grows stronger. It is a long road ahead; she knows that--we all do, but we are so thankful for so many parts to her equation.

Olivia is still in St Louis with Dave and Davidboy!

Now is some much needed time to get my "house" in order.

But first I think I'll do some painting--so may beautiful pictures on the way home--the sky was gorgeous and it was plain and clear that there is so much more to life than bustle and hustle from one event to another.

So--time to paint.

To Jesus all
of
it.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008 8:06 AM CST

Christmas EVE!

Merry Christmas!

What an amazing time in our World's History when God came to earth born in a lowly manger-a King--THE KING OF ALL KINGS born in the stable where animals sleep. Humbling.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008 9:13 PM CST

There is news that Mom will go home Christmas Day! Now, the road will be long and Grandpa Jerry will become an "in home nurse" but as he said he is very thankful do be there for Mom. How awesome is this news?

Many times I will receive an email--phone call, etc. and in my heart, deeply--I say--thank you, Lord for such wonderful people in our lives but may neglect to write it out, say it out--or SHOUT IT OUT LOUD!

Thank YOU, THANK YOU. . .so many have checked in with me to hear about my wonderful Mother and for that--I thank you so! There were moments where Greg and I reflected upon her, upon Olivia's journey and it was such a healing place. The last few months have been trying at times, maybe I did too much too soon and maybe I was rowing down the River of DE NILE in regards to my Mom's pending surgery--but it has been brought through. I know none of us IS guaranteed living this earthly life forever and there is a time to be born and a time to die.

Last night a friend's husband spoke to the suffering and pain we have living on this earth. When we spoke of the eternal view we have because we Love Him. . .it was a time of rejoicing.

FOR there IS coming a DAY!

Again, thank you dear friends. I'm digging out from under wonderful Christmas cards, emails, notes, gifts and in time want to touch all who have touched us, but for now. . .thank you, so.

Continued prayers for Laura.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008 8:46 AM CST

Grandma is doing so well! She is in a room not with a view, but with a PHONE! This was another answered prayer. So thankful that I will be able to speak to my Mom on Christmas. Had a great talk with her and she indeed is "Lodgie" again and shared about all the wonderful nurses and those she's been able to have fellowship with while in ICU. Thank you, Lord for sending such encouraging people her way.

The kids and I went to a little gathering for Keepers last night. Kitties, lizards and snakes--oh and a SPOT of tea!

Tomorrow is our drive to St Louis, will be our first since the GREAT ADVENTURE and am looking forward to seeing the landscape and listening to great stories.

But mostly excited to see Grandma and Grandpa.

Monday, December 22, 2008 8:19 AM CST

A flood of relief has overcome us all. We know Mom has a lot yet to accomplish and it will still be difficult and painful, but just knowing she continues to climb the mountain, steady steady. . .We thank our Heavenly Father.

David sang in church yesterday which is the last for this season for D and O. Before church they practiced and he really bumbled. Bless his heart. So many changes and so many major events have happened in this fall season. I took him aside and encouraged him in the quiet of the hallway. It was so precious! Before the second service I could not find him until very late as his friend was having a nose bleed and he was in the bathroom helping him. Bless his heart.

Papa may end his visit with us early due to the very low temperatures and possibility of snow and/or ice.

I'm having to rethink our departure to St Louis as well, sooner the better.

Last night we brought out the gifts for the kids-- mainly clothes and some books on cd--there was another flood of emotions which I had not had in a while so great--but in true Grandma/Sheila mode Olivia came over and did what I always do to Grandma and I found myself laughing! Funny girl--she can be such a mirror.

Kids DID open their Wii and played fun fun fun last night. We are so thankful for this technology as we hope it will help our family. Many of you may know, We are not a video game house. I don't care for even the hand held pieces which are mobile. Read a book, draw a picture, look out the window, talk to your family, play a game together, listen to a story--
but the Wii is interactive and we'll have "guidelines" as to who and when.

Life is so strange at times. These past 4 months have been by far some of the depth living I've ever had to do. When events stretch out past your own body with regards to those you love so incredibly--it does change oneself. I know that this is just a warm-up for other life events to take place. That has to be the case when one loves so greatly.

But He knows it ALL--already! Oh, how He loves US so--and that will never change. With every windy day He stays the same in His love for those who love Him.

Be encouraged today--God is ALIVE!

I will Fight this Fight
I will Run this Race

Until I see His Face--
To Jesus

Sunday, December 21, 2008 9:44 PM CST

Just received several photos of Mom that Greg took before he left out for Tahoe home. She looks like the Mom/Grandma Lodgie that brings amazing joy to us all!

She looks SO good, rested and happy.

We are ALL anxious for her to be in a room which allows PHONE calls--that will make the distance not as far for us all.

So many blessings have been taking place all over the place, but now--

WE ALL must get rest--S L E E P.

Please join us in prayer for Laura.

To Jesus.

Saturday, December 20, 2008 7:06 PM CST

The doctor signed for "step down" for mom--tonight, or tomorrow? Jerry and Greg are tag teaming and mom is making her slow progress--all in the RIGHT direction.

Greg is also getting a dose of hospital rules and time. PT still hasn't arrived at 5 PM and she just had a pain pill which makes her sleepy. Praying tomorrow they will come earlier in the day when she is more "fresh".

Our dear Laura so needs our prayers as well. We are praying for her and her whole family. I was able to have a good conversation with Lisa today.

Christmas is almost here and so want our loved ones home or at least in a place where we can communicate freely.

David and Olivia opened Papa's gifts tonight. Tomorrow the kids sing in church and I'll be so thankful to have just one more (fun) thing to do before heading to St Louis.

Last night was tough on the son and daughter emotions, but today when I received Jerry's morning update--I was encouraged once again.

Thank you to so many who are praying, calling, emailing. . .thank you!

A VERY special thank you to~~YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. . .who has been there answering all of Greg and mine's questions each night! It has helped keep us meloncholy children encouraged and upright!

He LOVES us so!

TO Jesus!

Friday, December 19, 2008 9:33 AM CST

62 degrees, windy, windy and more wind. It was 27 degrees yesterday!

I know many are already receiving email updates on Mom/Grandma Lodgie. My family is a very close knit family--no other way to put it. We love to communicate which I'm sure is very apparent from the years of my journaling and Greg's blogging.

I have to say that we all love to sleep but if it means not nearly enough sleep--we'll opt for a good close conversation.

Greg and I have been having some farely late night to early morning discussions, talks, praying he got some good full no interrupted sleep last night.

I got into bed this morning with Olivia and she woke long enough to ask many questions. She's been quiet and concerned and I tend to shut down--but knew it was time to really talk. She so wishes to be there with her Grandma Lodgie!

We ALL do.

Olivia said something interesting that she liked having fun during this time as it helps to make things easier. Having said that, that is what I did last night.

It was the annual Christmas dinner for our local home schooling support group. Having never been to one, but so desire being around like minded women I signed up to help. It was a night filled with God pouring over us all.
Thankful.

Continued prayers for Mom and Laura...and many other friends.

Thursday, December 18, 2008 10:33 PM CST

So thankful. Need to get that girl UP and MOVING!

TO Jesus!

Grandma is still very sleepy but starting to respond more.

We heard her first words today! When I said, "Coughing is good!" She replied, "Goodness."

Her favorite expression now is "Oh Boy." We even saw flashes of smiles.

Great to see her eyes and it is wonderful to make good eye contact.

She took her first Cuomadin pills and sipped water through a straw.

They did have to suction her airway around 4:30 PM PT since she is not yet robustly coughing.

We are working to get her to open her eyes more -- and keep them open for longer than a wink.

She no longer is wearing her oxygen mask, but has breathing tubes. She is no longer on morphine.

Will be with ICU nurse Andrew again tonight, and will see if they try any more big milestones, or if they let her rest and work out her fluids tonight in preparation for another big day tomorrow.

Another update after the 8 PM - 11 PM PT visiting hours.

Thank you for your prayers. Please pray that Mom will cough as needed (we specifically do not want any respiratory complications such as pneumonia or a re-insertion of an air tube), be alert when needed, be comfortable and continue to heal without complications.

Mom's assistant pastor and his wife visited today, and we prayed together for Lodgie. Pastor Hans visited yesterday and was present for Dr Fung's post-op update (as was Jerry's sister) and the Lewises visited yesterday as well. Thank you Lord for providing Jerry and Mom a loving and joyful church -- wonderful people all.

Thank You Jesus!

Peace,
Greg

<><

On Dec 18, 2008, at 4:06 PM, Greg Clausen wrote:

Grandma was extubated successfully and breathing on her own.

She is still very sleepy -- when I asked her to "Open your eyes Mom," she shook her head No. That generated laughter.

But, she needs to wake up and start moving and get vertical.

She has drained two liters.

We were kicked out so they could roust her a bit (stick a suction tube down her throat to get her to cough, etc.).

We will be going back into ICU shortly.

Our prayers are that sedation will wear off and that Mom will be awake and able to move vertically -- sit in a chair and start to walk in time.

Peace,
Greg

<><

On Dec 18, 2008, at 1:22 PM, Greg Clausen wrote:

Slow morning -- Grandma is off the sedative, but has been falling off to sleep.

She was experiencing some pain and more morphine was administered around 11:30 AM PT to relieve discomfort.

She needs to be alert enough for extubation.

Lasix is chasing the fluids out of her body, and her eye swelling (for example) is noticeably less than last night (ICU nurse said the extra fluids also dampens alertness).

They have been testing her inhalation abilities every hour this morning (goal of -30 and she is -24 for you respiratory experts). Close. She needs to be able to cough on her own, etc.

They obviously want to extubate once and only once, i.e. not have to re-insert breathing tubes, or intubate.

They just kicked us out deciding to extubate.

Please continue to pray that Grandma will tolerate her extubation well and will not experience any complications and make forward progress today.

Peace,
Greg

<><

On Dec 18, 2008, at 10:13 AM, Greg Clausen wrote:

Both Dr Fung and the ICU nurse (Jo) report Grandma is doing well.

First goal today is to get rid of the fluids so the tube can be removed -- not enough of a leak around the present tube which indicates more fluids need to be removed via urine (via lasix).

She is on a low dose of sedation (affectionately called Milk of Amnesia by those in the know), but Grandma again responded this morning -- what a Joy.

Please pray for excess fluid removal and tube removal so we can get Grandma sitting up.

Peace,
Greg

<><

Thursday, December 18, 2008 12:59 AM CST

Both Dr Fung and the ICU nurse (Jo) report Grandma is doing well.

First goal today is to get rid of the fluids so the tube can be removed -- not enough of a leak around the present tube which indicates more fluids need to be removed via urine (via lasix).

She is on a low dose of sedation (affectionately called Milk of Amnesia by those in the know), but Grandma again responded this morning -- what a Joy.

Please pray for excess fluid removal and tube removal so we can get Grandma sitting up.

Peace,
Greg

<><

Olivia has a favorite website:

www.HisKids.net

She loves to listen to the updated Gilead Lane.

Today's was heart wrenchingly appropriate.

We celebrate God's Son being born so we may have everlasting life.

We are anxious to "see" Grandma Lodgie--praying Greg will send us a photo. David is busy painting a cardinal for her. We have a goodie box ready to be sent as soon as we feel she is ready for it.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008 7:57 PM CST

Grandma / Mom appears to have turned the corner -- platelets and clotting agents were administered which have reduced bleeding to typical levels.

She is still sedated in ICU per Dr Fung (surgeon) since he wants her not to be agitated -- let healing / clotting take hold as well as keep her vitals stable.

Her ICU nurse Ann thought Dr Fung would likely keep her sedated overnight and likely awaken her in the morning.

Ann also reported that Grandma's vitals are very good. Ann clearly was heartened by Mom's progress which encourage both Jerry and me.

Jerry and I both want to see her awake (a critical milestone) -- I will stay until the next ICU nurse comes on board (will likely visit Mom again at 8 PM PT) and decide whether to stay overnight in Modesto or stay with Jerry tonight.

Have been in almost constant contact with my Sis, Sheila. As those who know, Sheila's children, David and Olivia, are most interested in Grandma's progress, as is my daughter Carolyn -- all three are praying for Grandma!

Thank you for your prayers, and please continue to pray that Grandma's bleeding stops, her healing progresses without complications and she will be awake by tomorrow morning.

Praise Him -- Thank You Jesus!

Peace,
Greg

<><

On Dec 17, 2008, at 2:57 PM, Greg Clausen wrote:

Grandma is in ICU and still sedated -- she is experiencing slight bleeding.

While this is not typical, the bleeding has reduced a bit. Did speak with Dr Fung who has been in a few times to check on her and he said that if it is not resolved in the next couple of hours, he will go back in and rectify -- which he said is not a big ordeal, but again, not typical.

Jerry and I were able to visit her for a few minutes.

Jerry caressed her brow and told her she is doing great.

I held her hand and talked to her as well.

Jerry and I will check in periodically on ICU status and I will report as able.

Please pray that the bleeding will stop and that she will awaken soon.

Peace,
Greg

<><

On Dec 17, 2008, at 12:56 PM, Greg Clausen wrote:

Grandma is out of surgery and being moved to ICU.

Met with Dr Fung and he was able to repair the mitral valve, performed the modified maze procedure to address her atrial fibrillation, performed a single bypass, and found a recess in her heart chamber (found only during surgery) and repaired (this will reduce her risk of future stroke).

Dr Fung reported the next important hurdle is for Grandma to wake up in ICU (e.g. if she had a stroke, it could have happened three hours ago and they would not know).

Please continue to pray for Grandma to awaken and that the healing process is swift and without complications.

Thank you Jesus!

Peace,
Greg

<><

On Dec 17, 2008, at 10:53 AM, Greg Clausen wrote:

OR Nurse Anna called Jerry at 10:30 AM PT to say all is going well.

Surgery started 8:50 AM PT.

Peace,
Greg

<><

On Dec 17, 2008, at 7:32 AM, Greg Clausen wrote:

Papa Jerry and I gave Grandma hugs and kisses a bit before 7 AM PT this morning.

She is doing well, but tears of course as she was taken to OR.

We met her anesthesiologist MD and her OR RN.

Surgery will likely begin between 8 - 9 AM PT and take at least 6 hours.

We will likely get updates every couple of hours, and will update everyone as well.

Thank you for your prayers.

Peace,
Greg

<><

On Dec 16, 2008, at 7:57 PM, Greg Clausen wrote:

Hi Everyone,

This is a test email from Grandma Lodgie's son, Greg -- so I don't mess it up when we go live from Modesto Memorial Hospital tomorrow.

As most of you know, Grandma / Mom will undergo open heart surgery Wednesday -- mitral valve repair (or replacement), one bypass procedure and the surgeon will address her atrial fibrillation.

Papa Jerry and I will take Grandma in early (time for bed now!) and I will send emails tomorrow throughout the day as the doctors pass along news.

We covet your prayers.

Peace,
Greg

<><

Wednesday, December 17, 2008 7:29 AM CST

Wednesday 4:00 CST

Grandma is out of surgery and being moved to ICU.

Met with Dr Fung and he was able to repair the mitral valve, performed the modified maze procedure to address her atrial fibrillation, performed a single bypass, and found a recess in her heart chamber (found only during surgery) and repaired (this will reduce her risk of future stroke).

Dr Fung reported the next important hurdle is for Grandma to wake up in ICU (e.g. if she had a stroke, it could have happened three hours ago and they would not know).

Please continue to pray for Grandma to awaken and that the healing process is swift and without complications.

Thank you Jesus!

Peace,
Greg

<><

To know my Mom is to love her. She is certainly a gem--not one who requires a whole lot from anyone, but is always there for others.

Greg made it to the hospital yesterday so he was able to ride back with Jerry and Mom after her testing; he left his car there so they rode in together this morning.

Greg with his mac air, oh, what is it called? Hooked up the iVideo so we all were able to see Grandma and be a part of what was going on there. Technology at its best once again.

David and Olivia both were afforded the chance as well.

Mom sounds SO good. And is so UP for this--to be over and MOVE on with her life! She is such a soldier in so many ways.

Thank YOU SO MUCH all for your prayers and really--I'm doing great. Last week was rough, but this week I've submitted to God's Plan.

A friend of mine has been emailing mom for some time now and she told me that Mom asked her to pray for Greg and me especially. NOW THAT is Lodgie for you. Breaks my heart--in a VERY good way.

So the day begins with lots of counting back by threes. Pacific Time ZONE!

HE IS the GREAT PHYSICIAN!

AND we pray for our Dear Laura as she has her central line REPLACED today--she has been sick and we hold onto God's mercy and grace for her.

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

Hi Everyone,

This is a test email from Grandma Lodgie's son, Greg -- so I don't mess it up when we go live from Modesto Memorial Hospital tomorrow.

As most of you know, Grandma / Mom will undergo open heart surgery Wednesday -- mitral valve repair (or replacement), one bypass procedure and the surgeon will address her atrial fibrillation.

Papa Jerry and I will take Grandma in early (time for bed now!) and I will send emails tomorrow throughout the day as the doctors pass along news.

We covet your prayers.

Peace,
Greg

<><

Yes, PEACE--amen and amen!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008 7:29 AM CST

To know my Mom is to love her. She is certainly a gem--not one who requires a whole lot from anyone, but is always there for others.

Greg made it to the hospital yesterday so he was able to ride back with Jerry and Mom after her testing; he left his car there so they rode in together this morning.

Greg with his mac air, oh, what is it called? Hooked up the iVideo so we all were able to see Grandma and be a part of what was going on there. Technology at its best once again.

David and Olivia both were afforded the chance as well.

Mom sounds SO good. And is so UP for this--to be over and MOVE on with her life! She is such a soldier in so many ways.

Thank YOU SO MUCH all for your prayers and really--I'm doing great. Last week was rough, but this week I've submitted to God's Plan.

A friend of mine has been emailing mom for some time now and she told me that Mom asked her to pray for Greg and me especially. NOW THAT is Lodgie for you. Breaks my heart--in a VERY good way.

So the day begins with lots of counting back by threes. Pacific Time ZONE!

HE IS the GREAT PHYSICIAN!

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

Hi Everyone,

This is a test email from Grandma Lodgie's son, Greg -- so I don't mess it up when we go live from Modesto Memorial Hospital tomorrow.

As most of you know, Grandma / Mom will undergo open heart surgery Wednesday -- mitral valve repair (or replacement), one bypass procedure and the surgeon will address her atrial fibrillation.

Papa Jerry and I will take Grandma in early (time for bed now!) and I will send emails tomorrow throughout the day as the doctors pass along news.

We covet your prayers.

Peace,
Greg

<><

Yes, PEACE--amen and amen!

Tuesday, December 16, 2008 7:52 PM CST

This day is almost to rest and so many emotions have been playing upon all of our hearts.

The kids had a fun day with friends both in the morning and the evening. An ornament party and a birthday party started and ended the day. With a glitch in my Mom's day--I ended up staying home so I could converse with Mom and Greg while Greg drove to Modesto. Then while Mom was having a TEST (YES, SHE HAD TO GO BACK TO THE HOSPITAL TODAY for a TEST) Greg called Dad and he and I got some talk time with Papa Virg.

Greg will be there with Grandpa Jerry tomorrow and will be giving me updates as they come.

We are asking for the continued peace and health for my Mom--for the surgeon's hands to be directed by the Almighty and all who come in contact with Mom will treat her with the utmost care and concern.

To Jesus.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008 7:29 AM CST

We are a bit incredulous regarding tomorrow's surgery. Can it be?

Here, now? We all want it over with and yet now is the time when one says--WAIT!

We are so thankful for technology.

How I wish I could be there!

Greg and I had a wonderful talk with Mom yet again last night. I've so enjoyed talking with my mom each night. Reminiscing of dear friends, Christmas cookies, the fullness and goodness of God's tender love.

She will be at Modesto's Memorial Medical Center. Their website is
www.memorialmedicalcenter.org.

I hope to have many conversations with her throughout the day. Also, prayer for Jerry. Greg is driving to La Grange today and will drive in with Jerry and Mom tomorrow morning. . .

E A R L Y.

Into Jesus' Hands.

Monday, December 15, 2008 4:23 PM CST

Rest.

Grandma is having her "pre-op" tests.

God sent a "storm" our way tonight which canceled Scouts and Keepers which has been so wonderful to be home together--warm watching it snow.

Wednesday she'll have to be at the hospital by 4:45 AM.

Saturday, December 13, 2008 5:05 PM CST

delight |diˈlīt|

verb [ trans. ]

please (someone) greatly : an experience guaranteed to delight both young and old.

� [ intrans. ] ( delight in) take great pleasure in : they delight in playing tricks.
noun
great pleasure : she took great delight in telling your story.

� a cause or source of great pleasure : the trees here are a delight.
ORIGIN Middle English : from Old French delitier (verb), delit (noun), from Latin delectare �to charm,� frequentative of delicere. The -gh- was added in the 16th cent. by association with light 1 .

Delight, yes.

Olivia is a delight.
She was delighted today.

She was able to perform with her piano teacher today for family and friends at an assisted living home. She did it.

She was in true Olivia form--excited to have a "reason" to dress UP and gather folks around.

Delight that although, David (and Grandpa) were NOT there, Matthew an 11 year boy smiled and was fine when he and his mother arrived to watch Olivia.
Good stuff.

Thankful. Thank you friends for joining us in celebrating the delight of progress.

It showed me that when Olivia concentrates she CAN do it. It reminded me that although it may seem we live in this TPNdismotilitydisorderdayafterday shadow, we all have shadows from which to stretch out and let the Son shine upon us to grow.

I've rediscovered delight in the giggles and comments during the recital.

Life moments, real.

Thank you for helping me back to relaxing--reminding me. . .keeping me grounded--on the real stuff, the down to earth stuff. . .something Lodgie and Virg have always been experts at. . .and still are, but sometimes far away.

And to our dear Grandpa Jerry. . .
Happy Birthday, Grandpa Jerry.

Jerry is such an encourager to both Dave and me. We appreciate and love you so much.

Laura, Kody and Benjamin--wisdom for doctors and parents.

In Jesus' Name...

Thursday, December 11, 2008 5:35 PM CST

persevere |ˌpərsəˈvi(ə)r|

verb [ intrans. ]

continue in a course of action even in the face of difficulty or with little or no prospect of success : his family persevered with his treatment.

This was one of Grandma Lodgie's first vocabulary words she ever gave David and Olivia.

We have been enjoying working through our "list" of this first 25 Days of Advent. Some days we catch up a bit and others we are ahead--it has been a neat way to extend off into other teachable moments.

I'm looking forward to Olivia's recital to hear what she comes up with in that moment in time. It will be nice as DADDY-O will be HOME this WEEKEND and can JOIN US!

None of us has gotten "sick" this season. Been doing isolation with Olivia especially if possible to keep her well for certain days. I don't usually do this, until January/February but really felt it was important and so far it has been a good thing.

Today was the first day that I felt I could pop the kids into the van and drive to California again. I even found myself day dreaming about WHEN we could go again if need be. This is a MAJOR answer to prayer. St Louis for Christmas is looking "easy" again as it did to me after our BIG ADVENTURE this past summer.

Our boy is off with Papa for their ANNUAL December "EVENT"--and we shall miss him GREATLY, but Miss Olivia is UP in his bunk bed with ALL the stuffed animals PLUS the REAL IZZA listening to book on CD, happier than any clam I KNOW--oh, and WEARING HIS STAR WARS PJS.

LITTLE SISTERS to BIG BROTHERS.

How she loves him so!

YES!

So utterly thankful,

God repairs
rebuilds
reveals. . .

To Jesus!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008 9:01 PM CST

resilient |riˈzilyənt|

adjective

(of a substance or object) able to recoil or spring back into shape after bending, stretching, or being compressed.

� (of a person or animal) able to withstand or recover quickly from difficult conditions : the fish are resilient to most infections.

Resilient was written on a small piece of paper and given to Olivia to look up in her dictionary at home.

Resilient is a great word for Olivia, not just her, but for so many of our TPN children.

Prayers of peace and healing for Grandma Lodgie, Laura and Darla's sister.

To Jesus.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008 7:53 PM CST

break |brāk|

verb ( past broke |brōk|; past part. broken |ˈbrōkən|)

1 separate or cause to separate into pieces as a result of a blow, shock, or strain : [ intrans. ] the rope broke with a loud snap | the slate fell from my hand and broke in two on the hard floor | [ trans. ] windows in the street were broken by the blast | break the chocolate into pieces.

� [ trans. ] (of a person or animal) sustain an injury involving the fracture of a bone or bones in (a part of the body) : she had broken her leg in two places.

� [ trans. ] sustain such an injury to (a bone in the body).

� [ intrans. ] (of a part of the body or a bone) sustain a fracture : what if his leg had broken?

� make or become inoperative : [ intrans. ] the machine has broken, and they can't fix it until next week | [ trans. ] he's broken the video.

I love dictionaries!

Broken means so much doesn't it--and these are just a few from just under the number one.

These all seem to indicate that the broken-can be fixed in some cases. We know God repairs the broken hearted.

Being broken at times means that one is in preparation for an amazing repair.

Awesome!

Praying for Grandma Lodgie's Heart to be REPAIRED. WE LOVE YOU and MISS YOU GRANDMA--MOM--Dearest of FRIENDS!

To JESUS!

Sunday, December 7, 2008 3:05 AM CST

We are relieved to hear that Darla's sister is awake and alert.

There is word that Laura should get home in the next couple of days to begin her recovery.

Prayer. Grandma Lodgie's surgery is December 17, may her body be strong and healthy and all who touch her be alert and ready.

Thankful for the amazing starters God has given me this week through His children!

~God didn't have Noah build an ark with windows to look out on the devastation, but to the sky. . .to Him.

~Surfing the Surface~

~We are fortunate to be living in the time we live--referring to medical advances.

~David, Joseph of the Old Testament and Joseph and Mary were given a dream that was not realized the next day. There were some rough travels that had to take place.

~You can't help to change after going through something that is big in life.

Olivia is doing much better. Yesterday was an emotional day in that we felt it wasn't wise for her to "do" the activity which was planned. The day started out a bit rocky, as with the past week's distractions I made some mistakes, but it recovered nicely for her and me. I could see she was feeling better, although still with her symptoms prevailing at times we opted for a bite then to find a "snow coat" as she calls it. I kept thinking to Dave's urging the night before and to let go of my perception of what was supposed to be--and get back to my dream of "Olivia is the daughter I always wanted"--That God would give me a daughter like her is beyond my most loftiest dreams--the same for David.

She came home and played in the 1/8 inch of snow which by her zeal you would think she and Charlie were frolicking in a foot at the very least.

Although her Pseudo Obstruction has been better in many ways; it just has been a bit tricky lately. Some of the "issues" have bled into her social/emotional/educational life and that has been the adjustment --concern--struggle for a few weeks now--but now that things are being revealed we can address issues and press on to help Olivia best.

And I do believe that as her primary caregiver I reacted to these struggles. . .as we often do in a human way. Thanks for keeping on with us--not giving up on that dream.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008 8:32 PM CST

It was a wonderful day of learning inside and outside the box.

BUT Olivia's energy level is in spurt action now. A museum tour is a lot of work so we opted for a wheelchair something she never did before--a "real" wheelchair sort of thing in public outside the hospital. Neither one of us skipped a beat.

Some of the art reminded me of my girl and her workings. A woman at a spinningn wheel and Thomas Eakins' of a young woman sitting in a very large chair, dark surroundings and if you looked carefully and allowed yourself to be drawn into the painting would see there was much more to it. . .the young woman was playing with a KITTEN in her lap.

The art work was extraordinary--an exhibit from Yale and worth the day out.

Lots of art work I've seen for years in big art books.

Thankful we have a "down day" tomorrow.

Continued prayers for our friends and for a resolution in Olivia's J Tube, neck and any other unspoken requests.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008 7:39 AM CST

Olivia could use some prayers for good sleep--thus we all could use good sleep. She is waking several times a night unable to fall back to sleep and her neck is hurting and has been for just under a week.

I know I do not do well without my sleep and if I burn the candle late at night to catch up on things and then be called during the night--I can get "crabby" as Dave calls it.

So, I just started out in her bed last night which helped Olivia and me, both. She can carry on amazing conversations in the middle of the night!

Now there are J Tube issues, as Olivia says, if it isn't one thing. . .it is another.

Then with any sort of pain the door of anxiety opens and peeks in to be noticed. Daddy reading Bible at night has been a major help in all of this.

She continues to knit; David is enjoying Duct tape projects.

Today we'll head over to Louisville's Speed Art Museum for a TOUR and I'm NOT GIVING IT--so I'm looking forward to being around art work--that always helps revive a bit as well.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I can't remember if I posted that Make A Wish had to cancel due to one of the volunteers being sick. At first Olivia was disappointed, but I do not think she mentioned it at all last night.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

So many in need of prayer--Darla's sister is in critical condition--I know nothing more.

And I have another special friend in need, but will wait to post that after I have all the specifics. God already knows Ben's needs--thankful for that.

Grandma Lodgie as her surgery is coming up in 14 days.

I give it all TO JESUS!

Monday, December 1, 2008 8:35 PM CST

MAW called and had to cancel for tomorrow night due to one of the volunteers being sick. Olivia was disappointed, but we are all pressing forward--the timing is not "now", but will be soon. Maybe January even February? Maybe when Grandma can be here too?

The timing is too close to Christmas.

Time to focus on praying for Grandma Lodgie's December 17th surgery date.

We have the Christmas tree up; it is beautiful. The lights are joyful and the paper chains hand made by Olivia precious.

We added our Psalm 100 Trumpets to the tree.

To Jesus.

Sunday, November 30, 2008 4:45 PM CST

A little anxiousness in the dark night so I curled into bed with Olivia.

David and Daddy headed out to church; Papa headed home and our girl is back.

She is a new girl again today. Yesterday was so long and sad but today was full of great energy, love, laughter and happiness.

Daddy and David cut the tree today and the kids with little help put the lights and decorations.

Grandma Lodgie was picked up by Grandpa Jerry and is heading home too. We are now on the 17 days until Grandma's surgery (again).

The kiddos are working on the 25 days Advent envelopes. I PRAY we are able to be found faithful. It was fun to come up with special activties.

EVERY DAY call your Grandmothers.
iVideo with far away friends and family during December!

1 Read Psalm 100--make a trumpet ornament
2 Make thank you cards to Make A Wish
3 Shop for Ruby, Charles and Diane--take Ruby's gifts to church
4 Read Isaiah 1:18--make SNOW FLAKES
5 Find Bethlehem on a map and sing "O Little Town of Bethlehem"

6 Make Christmas Postcards
7 Go online and choose a gift for GFA
8 Wrap gifts for Charles and Diane
9 Family Game Night!
10 Take gifts to church for Charles and Diane

11 Isaiah 53:5--make cross ornaments
12 Email Grandma Lodgie and Grandma Bert
13 Mama and Olivia bake cookies for Keepers
14 Christmas Party with Ross Family
15 Mail scarve rings off to Friends-Pack Mtg; Keepers Mtg.

16 Candle light dinner--open one gift after dinner--parent's choice!
17 Pray for Grandma Lodgie--Sing Christmas Carols
18 Pray for Grandma Lodgie--Sing Christmas Carols
19 Make ready tea, popcorn and cookies for book club
20 Bake Cinnamon Rolls and deliver

21 Sing in church
22 Read the Christmas Story--open one gift--Christmas Feast
23 Make a list of 10 things for which you are thankful; hang on bedroom door. Open Gifts
24 Bake Angel Food Cake
25 Travel to St Louis

To Jesus--

Sunday, November 30, 2008 0:03 AM CST

Olivia has been shut down all day! What was it? I knew it was going to surface in some way--which it did.

David's Matthew called and invited him over--Olivia too, as she is an asset to their filming. She was all set to go, but I knew something was holding her back.

They headed over across the field by the lake when in just a few minutes Olivia was back. David said he watched her come home before heading the rest the way to Matthew's.

She was quiet and sad. Prying her open a bit she disclosed she was afraid something bad was going to happen. This after such a great day away--far away.

When she walked she slumped.

It was her "tummy", then when I was reading the Bible to her, David and I heard her tube "buzzing"--ahhhh.

"It hurt" and that is all she had to say, she wanted the tube out, but "it hurt" and her voice would sing song down 5 notes--"it hurts"--the tube didn't pop out, she had to take it out--different than the last few times because they came out without permission. Now, she had to do it. "It hurts"--and she left us and fell into the whole anxiety attack which we've not seen since being home.

After an hour we got the tube in, tears, leakage, Izza the elusive one jumped up on the bed a few times curious over why her girl was crying and allowed Olivia to have her afterwards.

David practicing piano, violin all the while. What a good boy. He had to leave the room. I wanted to--but just like Olivia we as parents don't have that option.

She just breaks my heart--crying--saying I'm sorry for not telling you sooner.

Oh my.

To Jesus--all.

Saturday, November 29, 2008 8:10 AM CST

NEW PHOTOS on PHOTO PAGE--NOVEMBER 29, 2008

Friday's journey to Papa's went well. I only phoned twice and David answered disclosing that Olivia indeed missed me, but didn't want to speak with me. Papa's slant was that all was great. They took a walk back to the pond and woods. So, we survived being separated.

David and Olivia were beside themselves with joy or hyper activity? It was a great time and the first time Papa ever had them both there without me.
Although, Olivia could not get enough hugs and kisses and tickles from me and I having been replenished a bit was UP for a tickle session. Hugging David is so different than hugging Olivia. She is guarded and boney! David is open season--nothing to watch out for--both the best gifts ever given to me.

It may be strange to make such a deal over such an event of going to Grandpa's house 1.5 hours away, but in reality--it was an event.

Since our return from the Big Adventure last summer one big event after another is the norm.

Thanksgiving and Christmas is a time I try to keep quiet for my family. We have enjoyed iVideoing with Greg, Kim, Carolyn and Grandma Lodgie out in Tahoe. The last two nights I sat down and worked on pen and ink drawings while chatting and my long distant family could see my work. Technology to us brings on a whole new flavor. Apple Computers has made the distant less--that is for sure.

Olivia and I watched Ben Hur Thanksgiving evening. It is rich with so much. What struck me so point blank is how God has never left His people, us, without Him. Olivia and I imagined Jesus being on earth or our being on the earth at the same time. And how now, we are not alone; we have the Holy Spirit who was left behind here on this earth for us. Living within those who believe, nonetheless! The healing of the Lepers was and still is my favorite aspect of the movie.

Mom said the other night as she prayed with Carolyn; Mom thanked God for healing Mindy, Marcia and Carolyn said, and Cousin Olivia. Yes. Thank you, Jesus. Many may not see it as a healing, but we certainly do. And we believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that Olivia will have eternal healing one day. We all will. I know it will be a Day, GLORIOUS DAY when I no longer am walking in this flesh.

We meet with Make a Wish on Tuesday evening. I have had mixed feelings about this for some time, but now have a peace. The first thing is that this is the best time for Olivia to have her "wish" granted. In my dream world still in the hospital I imagined party for Olivia, but that was not a reality at all, and NOT needed.

Then I remembered MAW. It was time.

I'll save my thoughts on MAW after they have been here. I just pray that it is what everyone says it is--that the folks coming out will be angels on earth and a meaningful time for all.

I know it has been something Olivia has looked forward to as she mentioned during art lessons-even to the other children.

To Jesus.

Thursday, November 27, 2008 11:55 PM CST

We had Thankgsiving Day--DeKold/Clausen style, very quiet, laid back.

David and Olivia both helped, Papa napped and Dave worked. Thankfully, Dave was home for the feast. We all are thankful this year--last year was a bit thankful session, as well as this.

Tomorrow, Papa is taking both kids up to his house while _I_ stay here. This will be a first. I think I'm the only one who is anxious about it.

!

Wednesday, November 26, 2008 7:01 PM CST

Another surprise "off" day for Dave--and it was our day to Papa's to check on his critters.

We loaded up into the truck and away we were.

Olivia could not get enough of everything there. She and I journeyed back to Papa's pond which was smaller than usual. It enabled us to walk around the pond and into the portion of woods which can have mini ponds and there we found two large oaks which had been completely ripped out of the ground and another even larger that had been twisted and broken and lodged into another large tree. Olivia was so proud to have found such news that even Papa didn't know the circumstance of these trees. Hurricane Ike, AKA "September Hospital Storm" has left traces throughout the landscape here in Southern Indiana.

We caught her "rooster" to give him love and rounded out the outside day.

And to say it was crisp and the sky blue would be an understatement about this day.

The two Daves are putting together a hopeful piece of furniture--hopeful that it will help ORGANIZE the knittin' girl's bedroom.

So thankful to hear Olivia play the piano, singing songs, chasing Izza, knitting, knitting, listening to Jonathan Park, playing, playing with her brother--all of it.

Thanksgiving==giving thanks.

Monday, November 24, 2008 10:59 PM CST

Today was a good day. It was one of those days I watch the smiles, listen to all the talks and sit back, try to relax and enjoy.

I smile at such a grown girl I've become! I never thought it possible.

Papa was Olivia's teacher today. He is relentless and she loves every second. They have settled into their "own thing" since he cannot take her off over night like David--Papa and Olivia have made their own special time. Dad said she talks and talks and talks some more.

Yesterday David sang with his teacher's orchestra he leads over in Louisville. It was a short bit, his first ever using a microphone or singing with an orchestra--he did well. He was so poised and professional--cute (although, he prefers to NOT being referred as CUTE).

I had flash backs to September and was so thankful--could not believe how far God has brought us in two months. It feels sometimes like a year ago. I was smelling and kissing the back of her head--thinking of how she was so sick, how she was so helpless and sad, scared--all of it. . .

and now she sits on my lap--knitting away, happy.

Monday, November 24, 2008 9:00 AM CST

I know Mom would appreciate prayers any day!

Her surgery has been rescheduled to December 18th.

Today is Daddy-O's birthday!

55 years!

WOW!

Saturday, November 22, 2008 1:20 AM CST

Olivia's art work from this past week.

She has been working hard in art class.

She made a beautiful painting today of patterns, but I had to put up her "shell" first--it is inspired by Georgia O'Keeffe.

Thankful.

Thursday, November 20, 2008 1:09 PM CST

The leaves always make me think of Sarah Krauskopf.

www.caringbridge.org/ky/sarahkrauskopf

My mom's heart surgery has now been rescheduled. I guess we should have been prepared for this since being blindsided is never comforting. December 17 is the date now.

She'll spend a wonderful Thanksgiving time in Tahoe.

Praying that this month will be a month of gaining strength in all aspects of our humanness: bodies, minds, and spirits.

To Jesus.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008 7:52 AM CST

All is well, except maybe Olivia is in dire need of iron or she was just exhausted yesterday from a late night Monday.

November 24th is a big day. Dave's 55th birthday but also, Grandma's heart surgery.

To Jesus.

Sunday, November 16, 2008 2:07 PM CST

So thankful for monumental moments which were needed these past few days.

Olivia is doing well--so well!

We all are on an upswing.

We are in prayer for Grandma's surgery. Praying for God's Great Hands to be upon the WHOLE entire situation.

He loves us so.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008 9:07 PM CST

God is THE Master.

He puts all the pieces together.

Cracked, ripped, broken.

Father, thank You.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Home schooling.

As the moments unfold, words revealed, spelling, definitions. . .intertwined.

Before we began our Latin course the instructor on the DVD explains why. Why study. It has been made plainly clear to the kids and me as we study the English language.

A puzzle of letters forming words which then forms thoughts.

Pugnacious. We've all decided it best fits our Sugarbelle.

Holy Spirit, thank You for meeting with us.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Monday, David not only got his glasses, but was asked by his violin teacher to sing a solo with a community orchestra he directs. He sent him home with the music. So, the boy sat at the piano and worked. He was so concerned he would let his teacher down and the orchestra too! He had the first of two rehearsals before the performance. As always, things like this will be much more about other things than the actual "performance"--already David is digging into some deep stuff in regards to it.

Jesus, protect him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Olivia continues to knit Izza some sort of garment. Poor kitty.

Lord, thank You for letting us keep her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

David's singing debut will be on the eve of Grandma Lodgie's heart surgery. This has been a difficult fall. The kids are really feeling the concern for their Grandma. And I think this week I have too--we've been praying but now with the days growing closer to the bulls eye, well, I guess I'm a bit weary of "everything is OK"--when in fact, as David stated, not until I sing this and Grandma has her surgery and all is well can we even think about any thing else.

~True Lasting Eternal Hope.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008 11:45 AM CST

Veterans Day.

Thankful for men and women who have done so much for our country.

We have had monumental days here. David getting glasses was much more interesting than when Olivia for sure. He is amazed as to how well he sees, but he's been taking them off--a no no in my glasses wearing book. He likes them but he is working on remembering to wear them!

Olivia spent time alone with Aunt Becca before and during Scouts. I have to say without a doubt in my mind our "SUNSHINE GIRL" is more than back. She twirled and danced as she told me all the stories from Aunt Becca's.

Daddy took her to piano lessons--her #1 most favorite thing in the world.
So thankful.

As my "Grandma Clausen" used to say in regards to wearing glasses: "Be thankful to be born in the time you were.

How I miss her so much these days.

Monday, November 10, 2008 6:52 AM CST

A great weekend was had by the kids, Dave worked LONG hours, but he is home today and tomorrow to rest up and gear up.

Sunday morning around 7:15 AM Olivia came to me--showing that her G tube came out. I gave her a new one and she did it all. Six months ago this would have become an ordeal of tears, and 45 minutes of it. So, she put it back in and went to church.

She and David sang in the Children's Choir. David is the one to watch as he is animated--I was ready to see him break out into a dance--David's dance!

Olivia is always heard even in the "rests" of the music; we are just so thankful she is singing!

We are looking forward to December 2nd as that is our meeting with MAW volunteers. It is now not a tree house (as I'm not sure we have the KIND of tree we need), but a little play house--the kind that Cousin Carolyn has in her backyard. A place for Olivia to knit and play with her brother. The two peas in the pod.

Time to start this day for real.

Saturday, November 8, 2008 7:14 AM CST

Olivia IS doing so well. There have been no anxiety issues for the most part.

Not much to report. Just looking forward to a quiet weekend at home preparing for next week.

We are praying for our friend Benjamin as he and his parents travel to Florida for his clinic. Traveling for Benjamin is never easy.

We will miss them while they are gone!

Thursday, November 6, 2008 10:44 PM CST

Crisp Autumn.

After our visit at CCHMC the kids and I zoomed over to Eden Park. It was the Egyptian art we were to see. It was a great way to end our studies of Egypt before moving on in history.

The building itself of Cincinnati's art museum is spectacular. The marble steps to higher floors and oodles of famous artist's pieces made for great art review.

I got to see a Mark Rothko which I had forgotten was there.

It felt good. I found my traveler courage and am excited about visiting Dave's folks in St Louis after Christmas. I want to see St Louis' art museum next!

Charlie went along as he loves city parks and Eden Park was full of doggies and even a kitty on a leash which Olivia AWWWWWWed over as we passed. We didn't linger because kitty was not fond of Charlie.

We had a fun photo session of a couple of fruitful trees. The sky was beautiful and air crispy thin.

Fall Delight.

It was a long stay at CCHMC, but a record short time for clinic. Kids got flu shots, O's blood drawn and a once over by Dr. K and we were out the door but with lots of waiting due to a child in need of surgery and getting that all together.

We did have fun while waiting making up silly songs about body parts.

I started with: It doesn't matter because you don't need your gall bladder and Olivia continued with something about the colon and germs going bowling. . .

Nurse Gerry gave the kids a once over about the gall bladder using one of the medical posters.

But the best part--we don't have to make an appointment again for THREE MONTHS! Olivia gained good weight and is officially in a great season.

Thankful, excited and ready.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008 10:23 PM CST

No skies tonight. I'm sure the sky was amazing as it always is, but we had a too full of a day (and night) to push it any further.

Instead the kids practiced--Olivia hammered through her new piano songs and then pretended to be the piano teacher to David.

David whisking through his violin next.

We were enchanted by a fiddler on TV tonight.

Tomorrow is clinic.

Start where you are.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008 12:06 AM CST

There are a few of our friends who are in that time and space where their world is confined into the walls of a hospital room.

Having said that--last night was wide open view--not just local, state or nation wide, but globally. I'm glad that tonight we'll get to spend the evening looking into the sky--eternally speaking--to the Creator of us all.

Sparkles.

Stars.

Blinking.

Praying for our dear Tom and Winkie. How I miss the dear close friends of Loveland, Ohio.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008 7:28 AM CST

V*O*T*E

Election Day.

Glad it is here and yet not, but nonetheless it is and we shall press on. We've been invited to Mike Sodrel's Election Party to watch the returns and be with friends. It will be interesting. I've never been in public to watch such tallies.

We've had great days with Papa here. Olivia has clung to him and getting his full attention. Papa took David on a train ride from Cincinnati to Greensburg, Indiana--where the new "Honda" plant is. So this was a long awaited weekend full of Papa and his stories and thoughts.

Izza is enjoying having Mr. Wings home. We are now officially all home. She sits on the back of the chair and puts her declawed paws into the cage--he loves the attention. It is so wild safari around here.

Got the bill from Olivia's hosptial stay. We are very thankful for health insurance. The bulk of the price was pharmacy then nursing. That was interesting to see. It also reminds me--these folks do indeed work for Olivia.

A lot of things happening. I finally nominated Olivia for Make A Wish. I had online a couple of years ago, but no one ever called. When we got back from the hospital in September I was determined to do it--I was no longer living under the denial factor and especially with friends telling me to get on it! So, we've had a few phone calls back and forth regarding this. Yesterday I got a call asking about what she likes, David too (so thankful for that) and in a few weeks we'll have volunteers calling to set up times to come speak with us, Olivia. The kids are so excited over this! It is a reality that isn't pleasant to me.

#1 She wants a horse.

#2 She wants a tree house.

A trip is out of the question in Olivia's mind as she could easily be "sick" and it would be over with--she wants something to last. I love her thinking.

We have several friends who are not doing well right now.

Praying.

TO Jesus.

Saturday, November 1, 2008 9:01 PM CDT

Friends bring so much into one's life.

David had a great day with Papa on a train trip to see the colors of fall. Cincy to Greensburg, Indiana. Truly a great day.

Dave had a great day and it isn't over yet--flying to NYC to be in the audience of Huckabee's show on Fox. Our Mike Sodrel was asked questions--I sure hope folks got to see our Statesman from Indiana--a Great American, and one who knows his stuff.

www.meetmikesodrel.com

We'll have Papa tomorrow. . .can't wait to see my daddy.

Thursday, October 30, 2008 7:09 PM CDT

My two main email "groups" that read daily deal with home schooling in Southern Indiana and a TPN support group which I've been a member of for 6 years.

I can easily get mistaken and think I'm reading one when it is the other. . .

It is wild.

Olivia by anyone's standards would be doing GREAT. Last night and this morning she has rediscovered skating. She climbed trees, played on swings and ran and played and played and played today. She ate her two eggs and was happy with that.

She still is a bit shut down emotionally with other kids, but David and I point it out, talk it out--we just talk talk talk.

David is riding up to Papa's with Daddy tomorrow to spend the weekend with Papa who hasn't been feeling his best. Praying he and David get to go on their train ride. I'm looking forward to SEWING (yes, curtains--ahem!) with Olivia and painting--with yellow.

I'm so thankful for all your prayers.

Thursday, October 30, 2008 0:09 AM CDT

What an amazing day.

Dave is off work again this week. He had time and once November and December hit there is no seeing him so he took it. We go into Bohemian mode--no set time for anything but TPN and even that is at a round about time.

We started with Operation House this morning and I could not stop. The school room is up and running along with my table to paint--which I did furiously for 5 hours.

Healing colors.

I've been painting for real for 30 years! I knew I wanted to be a painter in high school. I've not this many pieces in progress since my advanced classes in college. It is good.

The kids played outside and skated back and forth upstairs while I painted.

Dave brought home the "KIT" movie and my little family watched it and I
Painted.
The wonder of it all.

But I had to stop--I need yellow.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008 6:04 PM CDT

Woe is me!

So thankful God puts up with me.

Locally our little town is a buzz with Govenor Palin's rally on Wednesday night. Everyone who is anyone is going--volunteering, doing this and that, but it isn't the season for us at all. The cold reality.

At the dentist today I blurted out about Olivia having been in the hospital and why--our dentist is a woman about my age--and shines, no this woman sparkles. When sparklie people turn to minister it really is a moving moment and one which makes me crumble. Her brother was a law enforcement officer who lost his life last year while on duty.

I'm crumblie and she is sparklie.

So, Sarah Palin is coming to town.

She is important around here--she speaks about special needs kids and values life. Her Daddy was a school teacher, she is 45 years old and has a child who is considered "special needs". She is much more than that, but to me that is a lot.

I'll not get political, just relaying some connections from this old crumble.

I was talking with a friend today who also has a "special needs" child (although he is more adult aged) and we were trying to determine wording for her sign she'll proudly hold at the rally. It is a different course of action when you have a child who looks "well" and "good" .

I just came up with this.

L I B E R TY
I for the unborn
F for the sick
E for all.

I'm so thankful when Jesus came to town He sought out the sick, the needy, lost, the ones in need of the Eternal Physician.

I am one of them.
Never Alone.
Thankfully His.

Monday, October 27, 2008 8:49 PM CDT

Received an email from my Mother tonight. The date set is November 24th, Dave's birthday and now the date of her "new heart"--we are praying for a full healthy recovery. We are all bruised knowing we'll not see her for a long period of time.

It is truly heart aching times all around.

Elections, surgeries, recoveries...living it every day--no letting up, is there?

Pressed on both sides, all sides for sure.

Speaking with a Dad of one of David's friends tonight--said how I wish I could sit with his wife more often and it came to mind...

When we ALL get to Heaven--what a DAY of rejoicing that will be.

David read his Ronald Reagan report tonight at Scouts.

Sunday, October 26, 2008 2:33 AM CDT

You love everyone that I love more than I ever could.

Though my days are filled with trouble,
Lord, I know You're good.

And I will never cry alone
And You will always be home.

And You tell me so.

You Tell Me So
JJ Heller

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Very early Sunday morning.

Some would call it the night, but it is truly morning--it is morning in my heart. I've listened to the house turn from late night to morning--studying the picture I'm making. A drawing that could not stay in me any longer.

It was a month that we've been home, yesterday.

Last night a dear friend brought soup.

Soup's warmth is love.
Taste it, for He is good.

Spent the day with women. Women who have felt pain of incredible loss. We made things out of clay, sugar cubes, lemons, swept the leaves away. . .

Olivia taught knittin' to the women.

She bathed--and snuggled in bed with her own needles still working the yarn into yet another--another woven, knitted gift.

A little girl who wears her kitty in her arms tells of her fears.

Rest for He _will be_ with you.

Sing of the new day dawning, let us stay warm together. . .
home.

For it is His day.
Rest.

.~~.~~Sunday AM~~.~~~.

Thursday, October 23, 2008 8:38 AM CDT

An email from Dave this morning. Dave sits with the kids on Wednesday nights as I'm playing flute in the worship band.

Don�t know that you noticed, but last night at church Olivia filled put a prayer request/thanksgiving card. She wrote �thank you for saving my life� but was too intimidated to go drop it in (so I did).

Wednesday, October 22, 2008 0:11 AM CDT

Still no word for Grandma's surgery date.

David and I drove to Jasper, Indiana this evening to witness the 9th District Congressional debate. Would like you to meet Mike Sodrel if you have not:

www.meetmikesodrel.com

David and I rejoiced in the goodness of God on the way home. How He ordered Mr. Sodrel's words--we really felt the Truth was revealed about each candidate. David is good company and had well thought out points on the way home. Educational indeed.

It was very hard to listen to the "Libertarian" as he discussed health care, drawing a car as a comparison to a human life. It brought to mind Keesha telling the nurses and doctors on the 4th floor that Olivia was a human being.

Olivia is doing well for the most part. She fell today and hit her side (where the infamous pain was) and started to spike into a panic attack--I reacted in a harsh, freaked out manner which didn't help. She shut down, tears falling, and withdrew for a few moments. We retreated to the big bed to watch a video on Ancient Egypt. I feel asleep while the kids watched and missed Olivia's piano lesson. It was very bizarre and had the kick myself around the house fest for a while as Olivia loves piano lessons so much.

People ask how are you doing? I feel like I'm hanging on some weird jagged morphed edge which there is no way to grip completely. It is peaceful here; I'm not trying to change it, just hanging, waiting on Him. It is hard to explain other than--Olivia IS doing well, David too--Dave got tons done during his time off from "work"--vacation time is what most people call it.

And just waiting to hear what the next thing is to do. . .

Thursday, October 16, 2008 7:51 AM CDT

Dear Wonderful Friends,

Grandma Lodgie/Logi/Mom called last night after her consult with surgeon. She has opted for surgery. It will be either a replacement or repair and some bipass work as well.

We ask you pray for the surgeon and all who will be affiliated with our dear Grandma Lodgie's care.

Continue oh Lord to give her the calm and peace that comes only from you!

Our family has given this over to Jesus who loves and cares for His children.

We rejoice in this day, for it is given to us by the Author and Finisher of all.

To Jesus.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008 6:37 AM CDT

So excited to be home. Although we've been home for weeks now, it seems that now we are really home having had the clinics and a lot of closure from September.

Olivia is doing well. She has times where she is unsure if she can do something, like visit a friend without me, or like last night she was waiting for me to come hook her up in the TENT. Izza was out in the tent with her and she said, Izza is getting anxious for you to come, Mama--I asked her if it was Izza or Olivia! She said, OLIVIA! But over all, Olivia is out girl again.

But David is a concern. Not wildly concerned, but want to keep a grasp on his emotions and concerns. Dave and I both are making sure we spend time with him, talking and seizing the moments we have this week with Dave being off--to enjoy family times.

Just had a wonderful conversation with a dear friend who is also a caregiver. We do what we are called to do--there is no question, there is really very little rest from it--the alternative is not something I have the energy for nor do I want to waste our lifetime on nursing. I do see with Olivia's gradual growth slowly she takes over her care. Not to say all of it all the time, but God is amazing how He showed me that this morning. Count them, Sheila, one by one. . .

What we did in the beginning with Olivia's care was far greater than what we have to do now--Olivia is growing into doing for herself very well--all appropriate time frames. So, there is rest in here somewhere.

I'm looking forward to building a "book" about Olivia and I do believe I'll make one for David as well. This will be something to take with us when we travel and go to CCHMC for hospital visits. There is a need to educate the medical community on Pseudo Obstruction and also for those working with our family--Olivia!

I'm excited to be a part of a solution and not curled up in a ball in fear of the "next time" we have to go up--God has raised me.

What a beautiful Wednesday this day has become. Enjoy--live it--and rejoice in it--for it _is_ the day God made.

To Jesus!

Monday, October 13, 2008 7:24 PM CDT

An early bird day for us homeschoolin' DeKolds. David spent the day with Keesha and the girlschool--and had violin with her before going to his violin lesson! YAHOO! So thankful that he was pressin' on with the good stuff while we were gone.

I do feel as if I can take a full deep breath using all the capacity of lungs for the first time since early September.

Surgery went well and we got to hear more specifics as to the length of the great bowel which burst--some 60 cm long--Dr. A. drew it out for us--impressive, and I saw Olivia sneeking peeks--I have to admit it was enough to make me wince and want to look away, but will be curious even more to get the pathology reports. It is all part of her story.

Our clinic time with Dr. K. was equally productive and we feel reassured and validated and safe.

We are learning how to advocate best for Olivia and I know that I'm a different person than before September 7th.

We'll go back to clinic in 3-4 weeks and keep an eye on labs.

Also, Olivia grew and gained good weight!

We give al the thanks to God--who is our Protector!

Monday, October 13, 2008 6:39 AM CDT

October 13th. A day we've been waiting for, we have many questions to discuss at clinic today.

We'll meet with Dr. A as a follow up for surgery then over to Dr. K for TPNclinic.

Please remember our friend Kody who is still in PICU and our friend Maya who is having a surgery today. Both are very special to us.

Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD. Ps. 27:14

Thank you.

Saturday, October 11, 2008 7:30 AM CDT

Many have asked.

My mom's surgeon was in SURGERY during her 2nd failed apointment. So she goes this coming Wednesday for the consult. It would be nice for this to MOVE forward and get Grandma's heart fixed! We want to see her.

A friend of ours is in PICU right now and could use some prayers as well, Kody. His Mama came and sat with Olivia during her stay in PICU. This family is an amazing testimony of strength and endurance.

I am looking forward to a semi quiet weekend and catching up on some personal art work.

Thank you to all who have offered meals to us, continue to lift us up in prayer as we work through different aspects and give us incredible Words from God.

TO Jesus!

Thursday, October 9, 2008 8:45 PM CDT

Sitting here listening to my children play with their stuffed animals together, crickets are in the background and Izza chasing some insect who found a way into the house.

We took a night walk tonight in the the sharp night. Olivia runs, and chases Charlie. David charges at us with a newly built something, gun, sword?

The last few days have been full of unplanned loosely fitted elements which make up a day.

The greatest relief was last night while Dave and I were talking I could hear Olivia chattering away with Grandma Lodgie. It seems Grandma L shared her cardiac cath and what it all entailed with Olivia who in turned shared parts of her story. Olivia used NG and Dilaudid for starters.

She told of her newest adventure--piano lessons. Olivia is not new to piano but to this teacher, yes.

After a season of rest from such, I was ready to give it up, but I know Olivia enjoys it and prayed for someone, close by, and willing to work with someone like Olivia. All month it was on my heart, and would not leave. Olivia was so fearful about it, even worked into a panic attack over it. But when David and I opened the truck door for her to cimb in--she told us everything--she was on fire. She was our Olivia again. Happy. Smiles, as Dave says, "Our Sunshine". . .

So now there is Olivia music in the house!

And later after her opening her self to Grandma, while David play violin for Grandma Bert--Olivia shared some more of her 2.5 weeks. It was interesting as she asked questions like "Is all the gall bladder out or will I have that pain again?" She said she wishes she could remember Keesha being there in the "dark room"--where all she remembers is a slit of light between the curtains. . .she talked about the Dilaudid making her "out of this world and dizzy"

But she was so positive and recounted the good parts and was so happy, like she had unlocked the door to the "dark room" or spit out that which doesn't taste pleasant and no longer swallowing it down over and over. That is what the anxiety seemed like for her.

May I learn from her. And taking cues from the kids--letting them decompress, play, learn, draw, write, read, when it is time.

Olivia has transitioned to David's bedroom to sleep. A bunkbed is a blessing for a brother and sister.

A funny: Olivia has been sleeping in the "big bed" and wanting the TV/video--and one time I put in their Latin DVD. She sat there watching it knitting through about 5 lessons. She said, the teacher was demanding! Funny girl. She begged me to start and we did on Wednesday--oh, and today is Thursday. Lesson two. We are having fun with it, going at our pace.

Pacing the race.

All the way to Jesus.

Thursday, October 9, 2008 0:20 AM CDT

Our days are like patchwork quilts. So many wonderfully textured pieces all sewn together at the end of the day.

Olivia is healing AND blooming.

We praise God for His tender mercies.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008 7:35 AM CDT

Healing days.

God as always brings the right people the right phone calls, all of it to work together to help heal His children.

I stepped out a bit the past two days just as I am requiring of Olivia; I will make myself as well.

It is a pace for sure and on Sunday Olivia had her first time away without me. I knew she would not agree to it and would not for a very long time if there wasn't a "push" to it. She and Lucee were content watching a very fluffy and pink princess movie and so I went home with Keo and David. Then Olivia and Lucee went over to a real princess house to play and had a great time. Of course on her arrival home she wasn't happy with the fact that I had not been there.

Monday was different. After doing art with our friends I suggested she go with Lucee and Keo and David with me. Once in the moment she was fine with it, but prior not. She was very happy and I explained to her that we have to push a bit through things that may seem bigger than they are.

For me it WAS a push to be so interactive. But in the end, it was what I so needed. Thank you, McC!

David had an extraordinary violin lesson. I'm so proud of how he and I worked this week, not always pleasant, but still pushing through the hard stuff. He so needed to see this after such month! His teacher is always so good with David and encouraging yet firm.

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_

Last night during Cub Scouts Olivia comes walking to me complaining about her Jtube. She had TAKEN IT OUT! This _IS_ a first! She thinks she needs a larger French for her tube, which could be the case. It was so funny how she did it all. And had NO desire at all to allow me the opportunity to help. We took baths and did major Olivia maintainance and she was happy.
We watched Amazing Grace again. She has been asking to watch it. There are parts in that movie which just take my breath away. Olivia loves it and asked a lot of great questions.

When we talk about her fears of the hospital--it always goes back to having to be weighed at 5 AM.

I was blind but now I see.

Yes, TO JESUS!

Monday, October 6, 2008 5:23 PM CDT

To Jesus.

Saturday, October 4, 2008 7:29 AM CDT

Thursday night Dave, Olivia and I slept in the big bed. Dave mentioned Olivia felt warm, but he tends to say that about once a week. When I got into the middle, she WAS warm.

I took her temperature to find it low grade on the brink of uh oh.

This was now around 2 AM and working myself into major concern. I imagined us at ED, working the doctors and nurses--the frustration built, I prayed and gave it to Jesus. Through the night I kept taking her temperature to make sure it didn't spike, which it DIDN'T!

It was a long, traumatic night. The emotions of September are still very real, but in a different way--I was ready to do what I needed to do for Olivia's safety and best well being. That is why I called her local ped doctor.

It had been long time and we canceled our "case management" appointment since we had just gotten home. Glad we did as now it is rescheduled for December and after yesterday I have a clear picture as to what we DO need from them.

As parents, we needed some reassurance. Not crying wolf, but assurance which seems to me to be rather typical after all. I took everything needed to do labs, took O's urine and Ped Dr let me do it all--the "Chronic Nurse" was great and stood back and let me do my thing.

Olivia still hadn't had her hair all worked out so she looked a bit more broken, but she was talking and coming out of her shell with them!

So, labs looked good. The temp and slight sore throat was probably the same as David (which I knew it to be, but still wanted to make sure not UTI, or anything else brewing with having so many others touching her line).

We hope in December to have a plan in place for more at home care. I am going to start doing her labs here before TPNclinic again. Also a few other items I pray can be implemented for everyone's best interest. Am looking forward to the next step.

We had a very pleasant day with Miss Heidi at our big table. Macbooks, puzzles, knitting, listening to AinO, Jonathan Park. . .and delicious soup delivered. It was just what we needed after feeling such inner rattling, if that makes sense.

We hope to hop in the van with a loaner jogging stroller to Frazier Arms Museum, one of our favorite Louisville places. O can knit her way through it or walk, her choice.

Follow up with surgeon and TPNclinic is October 13th a Monday. No Nurse Gerry. Praying.

Again, to say thank you seems so trivial. Olivia received two adorable homemade glad you are getting better cards yesterday which I LOVED! And a very fancy scrapbook which I really think is going to be a great tool for her. A couple of people sent her these which is so neat because scrapbooking is NOTHING I could ever think of doing. She has one to practice with and the new one to really make it an ongoing project. Being deliberate, neat is something she could work on with these projects. Good stuff!

David is just lost in boy world with Kaj and Sean--if they aren't in a Risk game they are outside running about with some sort of weapon. Charlie just tries to fit in--and we girls steer clear!

And Dave, bless his heart is back to work. He has enjoyed all the great food because he has wonderful LUNCHES! Again, thank you.

TO JESUS!

Thursday, October 2, 2008 7:55 AM CDT

The 2nd day of October!

It was so good to have a friend here to help with reorganizing David's room. We had gotten him a bunk bed for his room and never had a chance to get it all reorged and now it is--thank you, Sister ROBIN! Not just for that but for being such a great friend.

Today we have traveling friends coming for a too short of a stay who have been through far longer stays in the hospital. Again, this is good timing all together! Olivia was so happy to see Sean in the hospital--she had some of her long standing smiles listening to him and how tender he was to bring her a snow leopard and wanted to make sure Olivia had it. She loves Sean.

It has been such an awesome show of God as Protector and Provider to see how He brought us different people at different times. Keesha was there when we needed her, Jan, Aunt Becca, Steph, Angie, Jayme, and Pam, even the Forney's minus Brian on our release day. And He continues through the wonderful "Hometeam" as Taaaam calls them and through the wonderful meals being brought in--DAILY!

And also by the guestbook entries, He continues to lead and love us. He is ever faithful.
Isaiah 61:8 "I will faithfully reward my people for their suffering"

He KNEW we DeKolds NEEDED His children--OUR FAMILY to help us!

TO JESUS!

Each DAY does get better!

We give thanks for you and thank you for not being silent in your encouragement and love, near and far!

Wednesday, October 1, 2008 1:15 PM CDT

The day is fresher the second time around at times. Although I do not advocate for 3 AM-6 AM wake up to anyone, but as I prayed and sought Him He told me to rise up and do.

Olivia is being very particular about eating anything, the smells have been a hinderance for the most part, but she did have some rice and good soy sauce today. Nibbles.

We attempted a bit at the table, Bible always, but also just sitting at the table working on little projects was so nice.

I announced a nap for me and they quickly got it together enough to decide on a "play"--they've not really played together since being home. That was hard, but God is healing that as I type.

He is seeing us through.

Yes.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008 5:15 AM CDT

October.

Where is September?

Lord, I'm weary and sad.

Olivia needed a pouch at 3 AM and while she did that I took more garbage out and the cool air was a reminder that summer is gone.

I could not sleep again so I filled out the survey for PICU which I received.

Also, there was a letter saying Dr. K wants Olivia to go for Physical Therapy evaluation. I pray this is not needed for many reasons.

So, I started the long task of journaling the stay, yes, I wish I could move on too, but the pieces to the puzzle make a lot more sense to me now and the picture that is being revealed is incredibly sad.

But I'm everlastingly so thankful God gave me this discernment.

I'm not shooting to make anyone wrong just want the system fixed for not just Olivia's sake but so many--many who do not have parents there every step of the way.

Olivia is still talking to me and we are slowly sorting through all sorts.

Physically she is still having bile out G.

Two weeks + of narcotics can do that to a bowel already in failure.

Praying about which foods to have her eat--guacaomole is on the docket today.

Please pray for us as we dig out from this and formulate what needs to be addressed. We want to make a difference--to help.

Back to bed and rising to the SON!

**Grandma Lodgie's appointment is postponed until early October--Surgeon was sick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, September 29, 2008 10:38 PM CDT

I added new photos on the photo page. There different perspectives of Olivia in PICU in order which is pretty apparent.

Tuesday my Mom talks with surgeon. Praying for her to have clarity as to what she should do as the next step to her care. We love you Grandma Lodgie so much and miss you!!!

Thank you, thank you dear friends for the loan of a jogging stroller and dinner.

David's body has given into the stress of the last month and is sick.

Olivia had a good day of a short bike ride, and cutting out the seeds inside the pumpkins and making faces on them. The faces are goofy, but happy--I like to think JOYFILLED having been cleaned up and now to put THE LIGHT inside of them as God does to each of us who accepts Him.

I was one for 2.5 hours today and it was I who called asking and checking on Olivia--not her wondering when I'd be home.

There is a light rain falling and I welcome it wholeheartedly.

As if God Himself were cleansing the land.

Monday, September 29, 2008 10:33 AM CDT

~*~*~*~*NEW PHOTOS~*~*~*~*~

Olivia's journey in PICU with friends.

Healing Days.

I received a phone call from a dear friend this morning. I tried to hold back details but they poured out of me and I found myself in the midst of being worked up, but in the end--It was good.

One of the bottom lines is this TRIAL was not -JUST- a major surgery, but along with it many elements to make it complex and something we don't just walk away and restart, reenter life at home. BUT in the same breath we (DeKolds) can truly see many many good things which have been born!

This is also a time to hear what others were doing, praying, feeling and with it we have good cries, laughs and cheer of thankfulness.

Last night was by far the most peaceful sleep Olivia has had in over 3 weeks. She scratched my head, tapped me gently to ask for her pouch to be emptied, blew me kisses (something she did constantly prior and I so ached to have her do again) and snuggled and when I opened my eyes to see her--her sleeping smile had returned.

I was able to get out of bed and she not relasping into fear because I am not there! These are big steps!

Another milestone was the changing of the pouch. The small things which used to be so second nature are bigger than big, but she did it while watching Moody's Bee video--all of us were amazed as to how God made those buzzing insects. Wow!

She came out cold, wanting winter clothes so we dug them out and then she wearing some sweat pants Aunt Becca bought maybe 3 years ago which now finally kind of fit--she asked about a bike ride!

So Daddy, David and Olivia are off to ride bikes--slow and pacing.

And it isn't even noon yet.

Sunday, September 28, 2008 2:43 PM CDT

Ah!

Sunday!

WE enjoyed a sleepover with Taaam last night. Knittin', laughin' watching movies and this AM watching her favorite "TV Church" as that is how she and her son are pastored--it was a good good time.

We a few visitors and a jaunt over to pick up some pumpkins which a reminder of the great harvest and if we choose to "gut" the pumpkin with a design we'll think upon how He cleans us up and places His Light in us.

Izza is happy to have her Olivia gathering her and holding her tightly.

Olivia enjoyed an entire day in the BIG BED yesterday. knitting, painting, watching good stuff and smiling all the while. Resting.

Today she wasn't given the option and has been out of bed walking, huffing and puffing at times and told to SIT DOWN!

Had to share this picture from the last full day we were in the hospital. There was a Pain "function" of all things and they had all our friends there.

To Jesus.

Saturday, September 27, 2008 9:31 AM CDT

Happy Birthday to my MOM!

Praying you have a great day. Tuesday she'll meet with her surgeon to discuss further the "plan" for her care.

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

I've always been a transparent person.

And following the trial we've just undergone I will continue to be real in the healing process. This is an account which I hope will remind me after other trials. As we know, in this fallen world there will be more.

Please do not confuse transparency with drama.

There is much to all of this and finding that I am crying like a baby for my husband to be home and not at a camp trip 45 minutes away.

And knowing I would have Becca coming to bring a dinner--even if it would just be moments then TPN, hook up and a decent movie to watch with Olivia which got us safely into the night.

After literally 2.5 weeks of non stop glitches, problems, people not listening, nurses being too busy, fevers, not knowing, I feel like I'm still waiting for something else to be revealed.

When Olivia says her "tummy hurts" now it is a new game. She is in tears and fighting back the notion that it isn't that same hurt, but in her mind she remembers those days so clearly still.

I received an email from my neighbor today insisting she still do my laundry. She and her whole family (boys too!) worked on our laundry, plus their own and all that they do. I so appreciated the fact that she understood, validated, allowed me to still be allowed to not be in top form. When I heard that her teenage son was folding the socks--it was all over!

It reminds me of how our government will yank the support of folks who have needed it as soon as they get a job. "It takes a little time sometimes to get your feet back on the ground" --Amy Grant

I recently posted to the TPNsupport group concerning "post inpatient blues" and the responses were on target. Everyone had their own terms for what it was for them. How it didn't mean they were not content or thankful to be home with their CHILD--ALIVE. But we are NOT robots and will take time.

I'm not bitter, just being real. I can be nothing but real. It is easy for one to sit on the sideline and preach, God is still working in all of this. I am searching as to how HE wants me (us) to help educate, enlighten, inform those who are as dedicated to helping children as I am to "raising" them. We are on the same team and want to be someone who helps and not sits back and hinders by an alarming voice of hurt and anger.

Now to really learn that God is not only in the darkest of scary places, but in the day to day as He always has been, but to allow Him to be again and not do it all in my own power and passion.

Pacing the Race.

Friday, September 26, 2008 5:05 PM CDT

Dave and David are off to CUBoREE annual Scout camp out. I have mixed feelings, thought maybe it would be nice, but I really miss them. We've been too disjointed and look forward to Sunday with them again.

Olivia sat on our sofa working with a scrap book kit someone gave her. I cannot remember, maybe someone can tell me who? She designated pages for different people and animals. It was good to see her up and NOT in bed. But pretty much the rest of the day she was resting.

I'm a little post inpatient blue--thankful, content, but a bit blue and when I look back over the last few weeks it is a bit hard.

We'll cozy up here in a bit and call it a day--early.

Long nights and short days--we both need that for a while.

Thursday, September 25, 2008 7:35 PM CDT

Olivia and I made it home.

Thank you so much to all of you.

I carried her in the door and placed her in the big chair only to have her walking all about.

So she is walking and talking--happy to have her brother by her side right now.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008 3:08 PM CDT

SEPTEMBER 25!

IT IS Official. She'll come off TPN around 10:30 AM, we'll wait for our appointment with Molly and Jerry to fit Olivia for a wheelchair (something we've wanted to do for some time, not because of this crisis)--and we are OFF-!

Today is my BIRTHDAY--I rarely announce such a thing but I CELEBRATE it and the fact I have my BABY to take HOME today--that she is still here with us on this earth!

(Happy Birthday Samuel Bell and StephANIE!)

TO JESUS!

Talked with Surgery Fellow (the one O's bowel exploded onto and he had to buy new shoes!) this morning. It was good closure to hear him say she was tormented prior to surgery as a mother, I needed to hear that from him of all the folks here.

We shook hands and I can say gave it 100o Jesus as the bearer of all my dirty stuff.

Thank you, God.

Then GI rounded with Nurse Gerry standing next to me. Not a battle but a time of thanksgiving for all who stood there. Dr. Chang glad to say all looks good and her HEMO is going up and well, let's let her go home where she can really heal. GI attending who doesn't really know us was precious and willing to do what I felt comfortable with--Gerry suggested tomorrow after wheelchair and I agree.

Not 100n on the pathology reports, but looks like gall bladder and diseased bowel were to blame for such a trial.

We tooled around here and there, saw a service dog, Wilbur a big white poodle but Olivia was uninterested. I think her heart and mind are set on a specific dog and cats and so forth.

The activity center has lost all the luster. Making a wreath of medical supplies isn't "fun" to her--there is so much more to life than this--it is time to move, PRESS ON!

We are resting off and on today, still awaiting more final news from Grandma concerning her situation.

I have to remember for one whole week Olivia didn't sleep, but was in constant horrible pain, on heavy pain meds and then had major surgery, then was in PICU for 5 days with fevers of 104 , no sleep, testing off and on, I'd say, yes. I'd be a bit tired too.

God is so faithful.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008 7:38 AM CDT

Still awaiting more news from my Mom as to the "plan" for surgery. We are praying that this will make her feel so much better and able to visit as soon as possible. We all need to see her. Thank you, Grandpa Jerry for keeping us all informed. You are such a blessing.

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

Yesterday God sent us an angel in Dr. Park and Nurse Amanda. After receiving some Dilaudid Dr. Park came in and gave Olivia total control over the removal of her "pig tail" side drain. It was such an answered prayer and we are so thankful that the drain is out as I was able to sleep next to her last night and without Ativan, although she did toss and turn, but we talked a little and I made her giggle.

Later the IV had to come out, the TAPE is NO FUN. She had a mini breakdown over it be regained herself.

This morning we had the PCA come in and strong arm us. Saying if she doesn't walk she can't go home. It is moments like these I get so frustrated. I never heard of a PCA writing the discharge. GI is ready to release us, maybe the floor has criteria but her nurse hasn't said anything to me--I'm waiting for GI to round and going to plead our case.

Olivia has NO reason to walk here. She has walked to the bathroom once, walks over to the wheelchair, but going to the play room is well over rated to a kid like Olivia where home is really the place to be. I explained to her the PCA's demands and also reassured her that I KNOW she can walk and WILL HAVE to walk at home to gather her kitty and be present with us where ever we all may be.

This is where extreme patience and love take over. God has brought us through some mighty hurdles and when I look at those hurdles in comparison can get frustrated with Olivia. But in fact, these hurdles are in her control and looking much higher than they actually are.

Pray that they'll release us today or tomorrow. I'm ready to cancel the wheelchair appointment for tomorrow to get her home and healthy in all ways. We can make an appointment around her follow-up TPN clinic.

_*_*_*_*_*_

David is exhausted, Daddy too. Thankfully, Dave doesn't go back to work until a week from today. He does have a Cub Scout camp out with David this weekend which is much needed for them both. Olivia and I had hoped to join them this year--doesn't look like it to me!

This sort of trial hits all of the family. David being the sibling now has his own set of things to work through and the hardest part is coming. I am praying I can get much needed rest for the battle ahead.

Thank you to those of you who have been in my home getting it ready for us. This is one stressor that can make or break me and to know that loving hands have been caring for us in such a manner really blesses us all.

To Jesus!

Tuesday, September 23, 2008 8:36 PM CDT

Mom's cath didn't start until much later--hours late.

Mitral valve has a lot of leakage. She is in recovery now and will consult with a surgeon tonight but will go home tonight.

More on today tomorrow as Olivia needs me to be present with her during this sleep transition.

Prayers appreciated.

Monday, September 22, 2008 12:55 AM CDT

7:30 PM:

1:30 PM tomorrow my Mom will have her heart cath. Please join us in praying for her, may she have peace and know that God has His arms around her. For each person who touches her will have divine discernment to her care. We love Grandma Lodgie so.

But Jesus does more.

Resting in His arms.

Monday 5:45 PM.

Yes, Olivia, baby steps, honey and you are getting better each day. You have done such a great work today--you are doing your best in all. Thank you, Sweetie.

We went back up to the Play Room for "drums" and the man was late so another man brought out his banjo and gave each child a drum. David and I in our element; Olivia put up with it for my sake I do believe and well, Daddy and his lack of rhythm was fun to watch.
I had no idea the banjo originated in Africa! FUN.

FIELD TRIP!

We played family games and had fun. I just wish we could rent the place out for just us! :)

She is smiling more and talking more. She is very weak, but content.

Not once did she need Ativan nor the pain button. She may need Ativan tonight when I leave to help her relax. I plan on having a good talk with her explaining that Mama needs one more good night of sleep before we head into this week alone.

Tomorrow the drain (PRAYING) will come out. I pray it'll come out BEFORE Dave and David have to leave. AND that the PLAN for DISCHARGE will be SET IN PLACE.

When I look at the black and white photo of Olivia and her twinkle eyes framed by her glasses and her sweet smile. . . I know that God will restore her fully, by His Grace, Love and Mercy.

STILL awaiting to hear from GRANDMA LODGIE about the TIME of her HEART CATH tomorrow.

*^~*^~*^~*^~*^~*

What a day what a GLORIOUS DAY IT WILL BE--when our JESUS we SHALL SEE!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Today is a new day.

I got to sleep at Vernon Manor with my boy. Olivia did well with Daddy.

She got dressed and walked a few steps to get to the wheelchair and up to the play room. Sand art, painting and a game of Sorry!

We then escaped to the Gift Shop.

Resting in bed now and will go back up to the Play Room.

I'm encouraged but we are still awaiting a "plan" to get out of here.

Surgery has yet to take out the drain and GI will have to weigh in after that, I'm sure.

No more pain button and she's done well, never asked for it. Ativan does help take some edges off.

Thank you. As some of you know with something like this--we still have to get home--and what all that means.

Thank you for all your offers of help when we get there. We will take help for meals for sure as Olivia will take some extra work for some time and all of us will be empty on rest.

We had hoped that Grandma Lodgie would come this week on our arrival to home, but she has a heart cath scheduled tomorrow. This poses some extra work probably, but we'll not know until after the cath. We know that God has a plan for this to happen right now and have submitted to it. My mom has been such a great help in many times of trouble; we all wish we could be with her.

I will let folks know as soon as I do as to WHEN this procedure will take place. We need God's Help.

Peace in Him and in Him alone.

Sunday, September 21, 2008 6:38 PM CDT

It is hard to sleep in a hospital. Usually, I sleep with Olivia in the bed, but she doesn't want me to with her drain tube coming out the side I would be. I can start by curling my body at the bottom of the bed and that will work until she sleeps.

Tonight I have hit the wall and called our faithful close by home away from home Vernon Manor. David and I will go there. It'll be my first night away from Olivia. We told her why. If I don't get rest, I may not be able to be here at all.

So, I'm thrilled to have a real bed and a real bath.

Olivia had a good day. A "wheelchair ride" was a huge moment. It didn't last long, her panic had her yearning for her bed. She fell asleep about 15 seconds after hitting the bed.

So a game of family Uno with a monitor beeping out the fact her breathing and heart rate are too high.

Praying that she'll be able to rest WITHOUT my being here.

I'm excited to see what tomorrow will bring.

Bless you dear friends, please don't give up.

Sunday, September 21, 2008 7:18 AM CDT

It was just Olivia and I last night. We had a nice time of reading a funny book about a worm's diary. I put my head up by her knees and she petted me while I read. It was wonderful!

Alas, 1:30 AM the girl awoke in feaar. And after talking with many, it is true it does get better but in the midst of an attack it is so scary, but easier for me now as I am able to talk her down out of the tree and back to the ground.

When we get home it will be so much easier without nurses watching.

Today is a sonagram to see what the fluid looks like then tomorrow if all is well, the draining tube in her side will come out.

Olivia is holding tightly to her IV, draining tube and PCA pain button. She is sore now, not pain but she is clinging to it and pushes it more when she is anxious than pain. So we much have this addressed with PAIN Team this morning.

May everyone have a wonderful day worshiping our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Saturday, September 20, 2008 4:21 PM CDT

Faithful is His Greatness.

Crying to my Heavenly Father this morning I realized that I hadn't counted the many blessings of the past few days.

Olivia is TALKING. She is tired and very weak, her breathing is not what it should be and her heart rate a bit high--

BUT--it is LOWER than yesterday's and her o2 is good.

Pain vs. Fear is going to be a battle every day and every night. When she is with us, happy, doing something pleasant I try to talk her through things.

Today I shared a bit of the story prior to surgery, how Mommy, Daddy and Keesha fought every day for the Doctors to understand this was not an ordinary Pseudo Obstruction pain. That it was something to tend with something which needed attention. I told her how the night before her surgery Mama went to the hallway and pleaded and claimed this was not going to continue followed by Keesha giving her speech which bottom line was "she is a human being" and how Dr. Ch came forth and stood as Daniel did for what was right.

That early Friday morning Keesha ventured off the floor while I sat and gave Olivia to Jesus and He gave me Psalm 23. I proclaimed it that AM to Dave and Keesha and later Keesha told me the story how she went to the chapel not meaning to and met with two very special people. Psalm 23 was given to her to read, another held her and prayed for Olivia.

There is so many other parts to this story, but I wanted her to begin hearing it and from me first.

She took it well especially when I told her how Dr. A "delivered" her dilated bowel and it burst onto the surgerical fellow who gave us such a grim picture prior to surgery. God took care of that.

God has taken care of us each step of the way, for His reasons.

We are on the floor.

It is a nice little room.
The healing room.

446 South A building.

To Jesus.

Saturday, September 20, 2008 7:02 AM CDT

Last night, well this morning around 2 AM Olivia was awakened by our neighbor having a seizure or something very scary--I think every personal was in the room right next to ours--it was loud and Olivia went into a very intense panic attack. It was a long time running. I'm still a bit shakey over the night. She is still sleeping.

Please continue to lift her up to Jesus.

It is Saturday. Nothing much happens on a Saturday in a hospital and we desperately need the floor today--this morning.

Friday, September 19, 2008 11:04 PM CDT

Just read my email:

My Mom may have possible blockage. She has heart cath Tuesday. Please pray for her to have peace and that all will be well. I so miss my Mom.

We had all hoped she would be here next week for a month.

God knows already.

~~~~

Tonight was one of the most tender nights I can remember with Olivia. Maybe because she is so fragile and any words she speaks I want to bottle and safe.

A great visit with David and Papa was so needed and had. David and I took a walk to the cafe where he had ice cream while I talked a little more about Olivia. There were a lot of very sick people in the hall ways, I saw his eyes turn away--I know he is hurting and want badly to help unlock his feelings as much.

We played GO FISH (thank you friends) which was PERFECT. Olivia tried NOT to smile, but did anyway, enjoying her brother, loving him and he her. David is real minister.

PICU for us again tonight. I'm just utterly thankful and relieved we do not HAVE to be here, but have to be here due to no beds on the floors. It will be nice to be in a quiet more private room. It is difficult.

Please do not slow your prayers, may you continue to life up our family. We are approaching a new step.

To Jesus.

Friday, September 19, 2008 3:51 PM CDT

Thank you, Keesha and Steph for your time today.
We all learned ways to help Olivia relax. Her breathing is still shallow and fast, but heart rate down.

We sat down with someone who asked us who Olivia is.

It was heart wrenching to see her go into a panic attack by just mentioning pain. But the doctor showed us ways to help her.

It hurts to see Olivia broken.

There was talk of the FLOOR today, but there are no beds. So, not sure what that means. Papa and David are on their way to spend some time with her.

Please pray for a great transition to the floor. That we will communicate clearly and with the right spirit.

In His loving Arms!

Friday, September 19, 2008 7:57 AM CDT

The night was smooth!

I switched out with Dave around 2 AM so I got SLEEP!

Olivia had a great night and awoke to a WAM BAM XRAY in the bed to SEE her lungs which looked better than 2 days ago.

She is UP in the chair after much coaxing and reluctance.

Keesha is off to her day and we await our other "Auntie" Steph.

But the great news of the day is. . .

WE MAY have the FLOOR today!

It has been a long haul. The days and nights have been filled with so much pain, concern, anxiety, and just overall weariness--we feel like this is something we so needed. . .good news.

I have to admit that I dread temperature taking time--99.3--just now.

Thank you, Jesus. He knows this old Mama.

He knows His Olivia, His Davidboy, His Daddy-O--He knows and LOVES us all.

Humbled in His Presence.

Thursday, September 18, 2008 9:56 PM CDT

Thursday? Is it Thursday?

It is evening and with evening it seems there is always some sort of drama. O's line was NOT SECURED and was there was blood in the bed which alarmed us that it was off.

Needless to say, we are not happy. No TPN tonight but is getting her ABX, fluids and was off her PCA pump during the fiasco.

O was going to be fine with my sleeping in the family pod until this happened while Keesha slept in the room with her.

Disappointed.

What a fallen world.

But we rejoice in that tonight temperature was 100.2. I'll take that over 104.

Today was encouraging, draining.

I'm amazed at Olivia. She is a very brave little woman.

Please pray that she'll be on the floor soon and we can be reunited as a family and she can see her brother with no time restraints.

We all need to be with one another.

In His Hands

Thursday, September 18, 2008 2:49 PM CDT

God's tender mercies upon us. We were relieved when IR came for Olivia around 10ish this morning. God granted us a rest we so needed today.

The team who came to get her and take her down was so pleasant, sweet and tender to my baby.

We gave kisses before the took her in--

Keesha, Dave and I waited in the waiting room, and remembered they would take her directly back to PICU. We arrived to see the PICU Docs, IR team, and Auntie Steph standing by a little girl with wonderful stats, no fever, a drain coming out of her little precious side.

She was so anxious prior but Keesha our OWN FAMILY life CHILD specialist had her thinking about WEBKINS (since she has received a few as gifts--thank you!) and started a pot holder and now awaits Daddy to finish it off.

We shall wait and see. There have been no fevers since our return from IR. Auntie Steph sat by O's side while I went to the NAP ROOM. I LOVE THE NAP ROOM.

We've had so many obstacles and to sit here and contemplate them now is defeating good time.

We are praying for the next steps be climbing higher the beautiful mountain of Victory Jesus has prepared for Olivia, David and Mama and Daddy.

We are truly so thankful for all who have prayed for our daughter--God has strengthened my faith though this.

Thank you for all the gifts. Today I received a mug which will be great to have my morning tea. Thank you, Pam for coming by today. I'm sorry I didn't have the energy to get up and talk with you--but you met STEPH!

Tam and Cheryl--thank you, my dad's email this morning relieved a bit of concern on that front, although I have not thought too much about home. It seems too far away to go there. To say I miss my David boy would be the understatement--he is my brave boy, tender sprout.

My dear HnHers, thank you-thank you-thank you--you are a "bank" of praying warriors which I will never ever forget. I've learned so much more about God's love and grace through you. Millie, you have been a great friend to talk to in those darks nights.

Jan. . .
Aunt Becca
Keesha

We've used Laura's doggie for so much, and there was another soft doggie which has been such a great friend head pillow, so needed.

I could go on an on--some gifts haven't been opened mainly because she's not been up to it. The stuffed animals have been God send. Soft and friendly faces.

We love you all so much.

Please pray that Olivia's TEMPERATURE WILL STAY NORMAL (HAS BEEN ALL DAY) and that we will be MOVED to the FLOOR--that she will COUGH UP THAT GUNK in her WET LUNG. WE NEED her on the FLOOR so she can really blossom.

Clutching to His everlasting ARMS of LOVE,
Sh

Thursday, September 18, 2008 7:45 AM CDT

We got Wings today, now I have stereo birds again. We talked to Cheryl after we got done at the house as she left a note wanting to talk to us about what to get for cats and hamster. The house is well care for, grass mowed, cardboard picked up, inside cleaned up, many angels involved. Nothing to worry about there, water back on. We are fine and will start school work again tomorrow, after praying tonight in bed he said that he liked it here too after I said I knew he was missing his family and things and home, love you!

From my Daddy this morning.

So thankful that he is here for David and David here for him.

We wait to be called down to IR where they will sedate Olivia, draw some of this fluid out and put a drain in.

Each day is so fantastic. We have a nurse that we had on Saturday and she says she looks so much better. Good to hear. She is weaving a pot holder right now with Keesha.

Steph is coming down from Springboro today to sit with her while I try to sleep and rest up for whenever IR calls us.

We really could use the day time help. Keesha will come back tonight to spend the night.

Friday maybe, David and Papa? If they can take a break from school.

Thursday, September 18, 2008 12:30 AM ET

After talking with Dr. "In Charge" in PICU and his talking with our Dr. "In Charge" Alonzo--they want us to keep a watch it and wait. There is NOTHING DEFINITIVE that it is bile.

After much discussing with both doctors they are comfortable with waiting until AM to have IR pull this fluid out to check it out.

It will mean more sedation, not sure to what extent.

Her STATS are decent. She had CHEST XRAY and did absolutely awesome during the 9 PM CTSCAN which determined she has some sort of
abdominal fluid.

Dave was going to leave as he had to work, but is here. Keesha is here. I'm here. And we have peace.

As Jan Whittenberg prayed, GOD'S DIVINE DISCERNMENT UPON these folks.

Olivia is watching NARNIA and as I spoke to the PICU DOC--I just want to hear from ASLAN. SHE IS CROCHETING FOR THE FIRST TIME. NOT KNITTING, but crocheting.

God HAS NOT GIVEN ME THE SPIRIT OF FEAR.

Please CONTINUE to pray during this time.

PRAISE GOD--OLIVIA IS TALKING AGAIN. SHE ADVOCATED FOR HERSELF DURING CT SCAN EVEN WHILE ON MEDICATIONS.

We GIVE ALL--ALL--ALL--the glory to THE KING OF KINGS.

Now and forever,
Amen.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008 4:23 PM CDT

We've started contrast in Jtube for a CTscan tonight-will need a per line as well--so please pray for Olivia's anxiety.

She has not had anything in her Jtube in 4 years. So far she is tolerating all right.

We hope to find the reason for the fevers.

In His Hands.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008 5:36 AM CDT

God blessed us with a sleep room again last night. The night before when Aunt Becca was here they gave it to us so Dave could sleep. She and I stayed in the room with Olivia and Dave slept. Usually it is only 2 people allowed, but with all the hotels closed they showed much needed mercy to us.

So I slept last night if you call it sleeping. I clutched my phone all night and think my heart rate was on high alert all night. I had strange dreams and just wanted the night to end.

Olivia's fever last night really sent us into a tail spin. She wasn't feeling well, but after we got it down a bit she was a bit better.

Today's rounds will tell a lot. We really don't know what will happen with it being Day 5 post op and still running fevers.

Her anxiety seems to be down a bit which made me feel comfortable leaving her with Daddy last night.

We did see David yesterday, had I mentioned that? It was the highlight of Olivia's week. Grandpa came too. While they were there the NG came out and she handled it so well. Rule is only 15 minutes for children in PICU but we squeezed more time out as it was very apparent it was good for everyone. Before taking out NG nurse asked if we needed child life to come in--I said, look, and there was my dad on his knees on the floor talking to Olivia--we've got a reitred elementary school teacher of 30+ years--who loves her we are good.

We are praying that she can be put into a step down, but these fevers are so problematic, concerning--I'll admit I've given into fear many times.

Today is a new day.

Praying.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008 6:04 PM CDT

10:45 PM

103.8!

We are so crushed, concerned and holding tightly to Jesus.

We cooled her down a bit, she was happy to watch Narnia. Please pray for her.

Dear friends,

God reassured my heart many times yesterday. I knew we were not at a fork, but a corner and this AM during PICU rounds it was confirmed. She has turned the corner, now we are readying ourselves for the great walk up the mountain up and out of the valley of the shadow of death.

Many things need to happen today in order for Olivia to be moved to the floor and out of the PICU.

I have never seen Post Trauma before, only read about it, heard about it from dear friends, saw it in their children but now we are on this very same path.

I've been told that pain is #1 and #2 is trauma from it.

Please I ask you to continue to join us in praying for Olivia to have a full recovery from all of this.

Today's GOALS:

NG to drain--allowing her G tube to start venting. (NG tube is the tube placed down the nose)
To wean off of O2.
To talk through and about her fears, to cut her anxiety medications in 1/2 so she is not so sedated.

~~~~~~~~

The above was logged around 9:30 AM after which time the day took off in catching one crisis after another. This update is taking me a long time to complete. But I so want to keep God's people updated as to how to pray.

Anxiety and Temperatures.

Olivia's anxiety over the removal of her NG tube had her paralyzed for most of the day. We are under the PICU and Surgery Docs. So, anyone else is not welcome. We've pretty much got the Residents doing what we want, but I have to say I have the greatest of admiration for these folks.

Olivia had a bloody nose which lasted about 3 hours. But even though this was a horrible thing with o2 and the NG tube; it was this which basically had her in a tail spin of major anxiety of having something pulled out and put away. She never has things pulled out (like tubes, G and J are there for this earthly forever) but we've had two IV lines taken out, NG tube, and O2.

It is going to be a rough road, there is NO doubt about it, but we are on the right track after a day of what seemed like regression, disappointments and having to battle it out on every point.

But I am not afraid, my mother's instinct is in full throttle and now the PICU Resident has been told by surgery to "listen" to us.

That in itself is a huge success.
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Homefront:

No electricity, no water and no phone. Do not be alarmed. Two are due to late bills and the other storm.

We have our own storm which we are battling within the walls of this medical center, within our selves.

I so appreciate Bible verses sent and prayers as it is very difficult to sit down and dive into God's Word.

The gifts which have been sent, ecards, cards, but most of all the time spent in prayer for our Olivia humbles us.

All to Jesus I surrender. Daily.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008 7:21 AM CDT

Afebrile.

100

Trying to wean off O2 and put NG to gravity.

The anxiety is such a perplexing issue, somehing I personally never experienced--but was reminded yes, 6 years ago, I did and am to a degree now, I'm up in bed with her, talking with her when she is not sleepy.

She told me she didn't want to tell anyone about it yet.

So we have a start.

Please pray today will help be a good transition into a FLOOR room by tomorrow, we ALL need this desperately.
That the NG to gravity will be good and bile will then drain again from her G tube into her G bag.
That the weaning off o2 will be easy.

I want to thank her nurse yesterday, Melanie. She caught some mistakes and has been such support to us. She is sent from God.

Thank you to all who have prayed--PLEASE CONTINUE--do not give up--We hope that this turn of the corner is an encouragement to you--the POWER of prayer is so evident.

To our Lord we give all Glory.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008 2:55 AM CDT

Panic attacks continue. Trauma from pain (last week's not now) has changed our plan. Ativan.

She has to learn the difference between "scared/nervous vs. pain".

Her two chants from last week, "Mama my tummy hurts" and "Mama help me" are softly played in the background. ICU hears that in her soft voice and totally has misinterpreted it.

This is hard for me and I am not making this about me, but in a way, as my dear Keesha reminded me was it was Mama she yelled out for, screamed with her might for--last week.

Yes, last week is still here.

I'm holding on to Jesus. He gave us a victory with lower temperatures, He gave us a pod tonight for Dave to sleep in even with Aunt Becca already here--He gave us. . .

Himself.

Please do not slow your prayers. In many ways, what is going on now is as frightening and severe, although so very different.

Please, do not waver.

Monday, September 15, 2008 4:33 PM CDT

For those of you not in our part of the nation--we had winds of 75 MPH in Cincinnati, and our home area as well. People are still without all sorts of things.

It is strange to be in this box called a medical center knowing that so much happened yesterday--we lost electricity three times--thank God for generators.

Our neighbor, Cheryl checked on the our house and it lost just a few shingles. That is a miracle because we have enough on the backside of our house that could have really made some real problems.

Yeah, TPN is in the fridge, but who cares. She isn't going to have the same formula.

I have to admit and be real and honest, I think today was one of the hardest POST OP days. Little glitches here and there, concerns mounting until an hour ago when God gave us a victory--hope 100.8, but the anxiety that Olivia is having is something I've never seen in anyone.

So thankful to have people weighing in, confirming, encouraging--now we know where to go with all of this.

I ask you to continue to join us in prayer.

PROTECTION FROM FEVER
ANXIETY
J TUBE to start working right

TO JESUS

Monday, September 15, 2008 7:24 AM CDT

As I type Olivia is resting a good peaceful kind of sleep which she really hasn't seen for over a week. It is Monday. Yesterday was Sunday a week and a day we have been here. That didn't occur to me when I realized she was really resting this morning even after being examined by her surgeon.

Her fevers are slowly coming down, not as high. Her heart rate is coming down too, her resp stats are good and I would imagine sometime today they'll take her off O2.

Dr. A will come by again this afternoon and see her and possibly turn off suction through her NG tube.

The NG tube and O2 have been part of her anxiety tics when it starts to spool up. At first she was terrified she would pull these tubes out.

Yesterday was a quiet day for her. She was and is still tired. In the evening we hunkered down a bit to watch a movie then she seemed to sparkle a bit, trying so hard to do all what she was supposed to do and then some. She crashed hard and fast with very little saddness.

She said that she wished that even "good dogs" could come to the hospital. Charlie is a GOOD DOG. She also said she wished Izza could come in a carrier and put on her purple leash. She misses David so much. Once out of PICU (we pray very soon) she can see her brother.

Please continue to pray for Olivia's temperature, it wasn't as high but did spike, she is on ABX (4) and we are working through all of this--

Holding His Hand.

Reaching for His Promises.

Sunday, September 14, 2008 7:00 PM ET

It is now almost 7 PM.
Thank you so much for praying for Olivia.
We are holding firm to the work God has started in all of us.

Olivia is battling post op fevers other glitches but with stoppin the valium today she seems more peaceful, but also very quiet. It is day 2 and that can be a hard day.

Mrs. Whittenberg brought up some of the goodies from her car to the PICU. She loves her new stuffed animals and cards. And to someone who did the Love Notes from the Father for me. . .thank you so much. So much. Banana bread we'll share with the wonderful nursing staff here.

More still out in our van but wanted to spread it out.

This world is NOT my home.

Praying for out of the WILDERNESS and into the PROMISE LAND.

To Jesus now and forever--amen.

--- Sunday 12:45 PM ET Update ---

Chatted with Keesha and just now with Sis.

Olivia's temperature is down to 101 F.

Hemoglobin count has improved to 8.

Blood pressure and heart rate have improved also.

Hallelujah!

Please continue to pray that O can rest. Pray specifically that Jesus will defeat her anxiety [Update: It appears that the valium may be inducing the anxiety, and steps are being taken to mitigate].

Her body needs to heal.

Please continue to pray for Dave and Sheila that they have energy and Wisdom.

--- Sunday Update ---

Sheila text paged around 9:30 AM ET to say Olivia was resting.

Please continue to pray that her infection will be defeated and her hemoglobin count will increase.

Pray also that Olivia can and will rest.

Pray for Dave and Sheila -- pray they have energy and Wisdom.

Pray that Olivia's doctors have Wisdom and are proactive.

Greg

--- Sunday Update ---

Sheila text paged me around 6:50 AM ET to say Olivia's temperature was 104.8 F.

Please pray for Wisdom for her doctors, and please pray that the infection will be healed.

Brother Greg

--- Saturday Update ---

Dear friends.

What a day today has been. I know a lot of the healing process will be noting the big and little things. This again is a story that I pray one day my children will read and understand the depth of God's amazing Love, Mercy and Grace.

We are humbled and in awe of the outpouring of praying saints of God and the most precious gifts each and every one of you have put forth.

This has been such a life altering supernatural God led experience.

Current report:

Olivia had a fairly GREAT day. She had a visit from her Mrs. Jan and Keesha. It was during Keesha's visit where we started to really have Olivia back. She and I painted little plastic "stained glass windows" and since we only had one brush we used one of the sponges to paint with too. Olivia was so very happy to doing her stuff again. She grew tired and we had to close up art class.

She has had temps any where from 100-103. She also is still very much on the pain meds and had to have something to help with the muscle spasms. And with that she began the very chant of "last week" --and spooled into a anxiety attack which had PICU doc, nurses all alerted. It all began when she was trying to go to sleep.

She is fearful of her pain she is having although it is very much from her "surgery" she has had two anxiety attacks. We are talking things through and she said she was afraid that she will wake up with pain.

Pain.

Pain.

Pain.

I have to admit that I find myself back to late Thursday and into early Friday--where we had days melted into days. Where God rose up into all of us amazing clarification.

Discernment.

But for now, I must close. The whole story isn't something that can be typed up into a medical moment, it isn't meant to be.

Olivia needs prayer that her wound will heal swiftly. That her heart rate will be where it needs to be, that her blood pressure will be where it needs to be, and that her anxiety and fear will be replaced with God's peace.

In His Merciful Hands.

Friday, September 12, 2008 4:10 PM CDT

This is Dave:
We just got the first update. They opened Olivia up. The gall bladder looked fine. There was a very large inflated bowel loop laying across the gall bladder. When they lifted it up and out, it virtually exploded outside of her abdomen. It was paper thin and we were extremely lucky it didn't rupture prior to getting outside of her. Thye are still resectioning and continuing their "inspection" but that was definitely the culprit. So far every thing else looks good (or at least acceptable)

Praise to a gentle loving shephard who cares for us all. We'll probably be too busy to make many calls but we'll do what we can as soon as we can to keep everyone informed.

Feel like we won the lottery today. Certainly not the best outcome but far far better than what it could have been. We'll take it thankfully.

Thank you all for the prayers. Now to catch a cat nap...............................................

This is Keesha. Olivia's friend.....family.

Sheila asked me to update this page and let everyone who loves Olivia to know to pray for God's perfect will to be done. She is scheduled to have surgery today - this afternoon. Exploratory surgery. They still have not come to any conclusions as to what has gotten us to this very crucial point in her life. Going in and doing surgery has serious risks involved as Olivia is so extended and distended at this point.

Ultimately we rejoice in knowing that God's plan for Olivia is a BEAUTIFUL PLAN that provides healing and joy and miracles we can't imagine. It is with great confidence that we who are here with Olivia lift her up with heavy hearts ( yes ) but with great faith and courage in the face of whatever may come, willingly, and in an act of worship.

Please join us as we lift her to the Father for healing no matter what that healing may be. She is in her loving Father's hands. Praise God !

Keesha

Thursday, September 11, 2008 6:55 PM CDT

The bedside ileoscopy didn't work; took her to OR, which led to no HIDA scan due to the medications used to make her sleep.

It wasn't a well planned day and the glitches are being worked out.

Pain is still a major issue, but if we could just find the culprit it wouldn't be?

I have to admit, I am having a hard time formulating all that took place, what didn't and what is happening and how my daughter looks.

I'm so thankful to have Keesha here.

Dave and I both have needed her and we so appreciate the sacrifice she is making being here.

Although never in a MILLION years would she say that.

She is truly our own personal help in time of trouble.

David is with Papa and will stay there.

.

Thursday, September 11, 2008 5:00 AM CDT

Almost 11 AM ish--the endoscopy was an event which didn't produce anything but a little photo of Olivia's sweet face. She is going to OR to have decompression of the bowel at 1:15 then to HIDA scan at 2:30.

So thankful that Dr. F. honored Olivia; she was anxious and it was going to hurt.

She is grossly distended now, nothing out her ostomy; could be the gall bladder stopping the show of bowel. She is very "out of it" wanted to do her "crafts" so we got out the plastic window to paint and she had me hold it, but she painted where there was no plastic. Bless her.

Keesha had a wonderful talk about knitting with her as I took a walk to get waters.

We think of our Mrs. Betsy and thank God for her willingness to pass along such a beautiful skill to Olivia which has blessed SO many people here.

I miss my girl. She's quiet but we do get small pockets of moments with her to which I cherish and hold tightly.

THERE _IS_ coming a day. . .

It is 6 AM on Thursday.

Last night was far better than the night before in terms of having control of pain, but she is still having significant break through, it is so intense how she "spikes" the pain.

Keesha stayed with her in her bed while I rested in the fold out chair. We sent Dave to the hotel to get good rest for today.

Please pray for peace for Olivia; we heard some concerns from her regarding whether or not the pain would ever stop.

She is such a sweet flower.

Thank you, for being so faithful in praying with us.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008 10:05 PM CDT

Today was as long as last night.

But I do believe we finally have found the key to Olivia's pain management for now. This is such uncharted territory for our family. I think I have a better understanding as to what we are striving for in terms of her pain.

We saw surgical team and she wants endoscopy and the HIDA scan which we pray will show what is needed and we ask God to protect Olivia's bowel.

Olivia will have the endoscopy in her bed tomorrow at 8:30 AM.
HIDA scan wll be 2:30 PM.

Dave took David to Papa while Keesha stayed here with Olivia and me. It helped

I'm sorry for not updating to even our own parents as we've been at O's side literally all day.

She did say she wishes Charlie could be here.

Thank you so much for loving Olivia dear.

But most of all, aren't we so thankful He loves her? And all of us?

Yes!

Wednesday, September 10, 2008 10:26 AM CDT

Don't we just love our children?
And to know that God loves them beyond anything our minds can understand, farther than the moon is to the earth--the depths of the ocean all of it. He loves us.

I can't begin to say how thankful I am that Dave can be here with us, that Keesha is with David.

We, in our DeKold way expressed our firm convictions regarding Olivia's care. We await pain management to change things up. Other things as well, but let's wait until it is conclusive.

Pray for the conclusion to be made known, that the surgeon we prefer is available to consult. Pray that this pain will be gone by the solution.

We do know that our cries are heard.

Will keep you posted as things are solidified.

To Jesus.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008 6:54 AM CDT

Thank you so much for your constant prayers.

Pain was horrible last night. She slept little. Now she is

We need to get to this gall bladder in my opinion. Dave and I are of one accord.

More later.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008 4:48 PM CDT

Put a foley in ostomy and took out J tube, both dry as a bone, nothing.

Not typical Pseudo Obstruction, but gall bladder has sludge we think this could be the culprit, so now we wait for surgery to weigh in on the puzzle.

Olivia is comfortable, but still having some break through pain at times.

We just want the source and out of here so we can get her off the medications and have our girl back.

But God knows; He is faithful and already knows.

We thank all the beautiful support and it brings us that earthly comfort we so need during this.

Bless you and God keep you safe.

Monday, September 8, 2008 8:03 PM CDT

Olivia is sleeping for the first time that I have seen since Friday night.

We have no results or any kind of plan other than controling her pain. Today a doctor from the pain team came in and took time to talk with and understand Olivia's pain. The sum was to give her a PCA pump.

I've never seen anyone in this kind of acute pain.

4 hours, yes, 4 hours later she now has her pain control button clenched in her fist, sleeping.

I'm just a little bewildered as to why it took so long, why we've not heard anything back from a doctor concerning results from today.

In my flesh dwells no good thing, so I'll stop right there.

2:35 AM

Just bizzare. The monitor was left on so that kept awaking Olivia, confusing and scarying her. She was unable to get comfortable.

Her tubing "popped off" which was just strange. So, she went without and got behind, although did do a push of pain med, still didn't help. Over an hour later a new set of TPN, fluids, lipids, etc.

Trying to get on top of the pain and didn't happen so demanded the monitor to not be ON in the room and call Dr. Increased dosage and a bolus, she is finally at 3 AM. . .sleeping, but again, that could change.

Monday, September 8, 2008 2:25 PM CDT

Had an ultra sound of anything tech could see which is hard with a very dilated bowel in the way. We got from the tech that gall bladder was full of sludge. For folks on TPN long term this is bound to happen. We have been so blessed to have 6 years of no major side effects of TPN. We see and know that comes from our Great Creator.

Olivia has accepted the Dilaudid and the "head spins" that are endured to get to the "other side" -- comfort and little pain.

Haven't heard back since the x ray, ultra sound.

The contrast studies just didn't seem an option at this point. They wanted to put 360 ml of contrast with juice! Olivia could barely tolerate 2 ml of J tube meds.

Thank you so much from our dear family and friends who have emailed, sent e-cards, called, loved on us from afar--we feel your love and know that God is here, right here. . .right now.

Thank you so.

Monday, September 8, 2008 8:29 AM CDT

Still in pain and gagging and vomiting.

We are waiting for GI to get round today.

David and I are here too.

Sunday, September 7, 2008 6:40 PM CDT

Around sometime, we got up to "her room"--

First of all, this is all new "obstruction" for Olivia so we are a little high alert, reflective and well, ok, concerned.

Pain like never before, vomiting that would not quit even after Zofran in ER.
The pain med she got was too fast and so she had "brain spinning, headache" which for a little 8 year old was scary. We stopped the push.

Her pain for now is still there just not terrible.

She had weird pushing pain in 3 places around her ileostomy Friday night during Fiddler on the Roof. Then just a slight toss and turn night, fine in the am. Around 2 PM she was in pain and by 3 PM it was WOW.

I kick myself that she had to endure it for so long--she's had this before, for maybe an hour or so, but it would subside or not be as terrible. Throughout the night Dave and I switched off sleeping with her and I thought each time it was my turn she would be fine, but wasn't true.

She is more talkative than before. She couldn't even watch Waltons, or allow my reading to her, or even singing.

So, tomorrow is testing, contrast--need to find out WHAT kind, blah blah blah--as we don't want to find contrast in her body 3 months from tomorrow.

Running to get my boy at Papa's so I can get my stuff and his schooling. He'll stay with Papa this week, he and Charlie.

Daddy is here with his girl.
Thank you, Lord.

To Jesus!

Sunday, September 7, 2008 9:29 AM CDT

Absolutely no sleep for Olivia, pain, vomiting all night.

She and I are on our way to CCHMC.

Please pray for her.

Saturday, September 6, 2008 7:41 PM CDT

Olivia started having bad pain last night. She seemed better or fine this morning. Around 3ish it came back pretty heavy duty and vomiting as well. I asked her if it was David's birthday type pain or New Mexico, she said New Mexico. The vomiting is concerning with the pain.

So--

I'll admit we are concerned.

David is with Papa and his fresh happy voice was heart wrenching. I just asked him to pray for his sister tonight.

Thank you for joining us in prayer.

Thursday, September 4, 2008 8:19 PM CDT

Today was full of those "I can't stand it" moments. The kind of moments that just make you want to shout to the world--REJOICING fully.

We are still easing into school, and doing great.

The day started with Olivia making her own fried egg, doing this and that, helping--just being the little adorable girl that she is.

We took a break for lunch and I didn't have the heart to break up their "play" since there hasn't been much of it.

David went to his neighbor friend's house--so Olivia and I decided to make art. She painted while I painted, with little talk, we listened to stories and just enjoyed our time.

I told her to run over to our neighbor's house to walk back with David. This means crossing our road then climb between a wooden fence and over a slight hill next to a beautiful lake and over out of my sight.

When I suggested she meet David she took off and ran as fast as any little 8 year old girl could. She was so happy, so happy.

Tomorrow is full day of art. Continued prayers for our friends, Noah, Colyn, Benjamin and Laura.

To Jesus.

Thursday, September 4, 2008 9:51 AM CDT

Last night was less pressure on the belly and with it came a dumping night.

This morning Olivia got up, carried her TPN and pump to the kitchen and made an egg. This is her first egg in several days. (Feels like weeks, but only days)

We have been watching the convention therefore sleeping ina bit. I stay up late just to keep an eye on her pouch so I'm pretty much in a fog.

Pressing on to Jesus.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008 7:01 PM CDT

Our 2nd day of school and we are pushing through it all. I had to literally lift Olivia out of bed. She made it to the kitchen sofa where we read Bible, then down to the big soft chair pushed up against the school table. She had school Mama on her, working all day, hard work and it was good distraction.

She did her first real dictionary work and lit up when she found each of the words. Still no eating but boy did she pump out some cute art pieces during lunch break!

David stayed in his lane all day; he was running hard and did good work. He will visit with Papa Virg this weekend while Olivia and I stay home and rest.

So thankful to be home teaching my own two precious gifts from God. Watching them grow and learn. I thank God for how He orders our steps each day.

Thankful.

To Jesus.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008 11:02 PM CDT

In prayer tonight, caressing Olivia's face, how small her features were. We prayed for God's mercy to fall upon her body and for our friends and as I paused she spoke another's name.

Cry unto Him.

It seems that she's been in this state for some time now, at least since August 10--Papa's birthday. I can't think any further back and I really try not to label each day with outputs and inputs.

Praying for the weather to change and with it a new season for Olivia.

She so wants to ride the steam engine with Papa Virg this weekend. She broke down and cried which she rarely does over things which she can't do.

I assured her Metamora, Indiana will be there for a long while and Papa will take her anytime she is ready.

Noah, Benjamin, Laura and Isaac and B!

To Jesus.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008 4:51 PM CDT

Easing into school was the best way. I've learned that being an over zealous mama with those maybe a bit reluctant isn't always "good", but after a bump in the morning road, all went well.

David and I are sitting in our big room chairs listening to the classical station, he is reading his current Boys Life sharing tidbits with the boy smile and Olivia in her room, knitting and listening to Jonathan Park.

Olivia is not her perky self. She got out of bed and sat on the sofa until it was time to move to the table downstairs. It has been like that now for some time, it is strange how it creeps up--this disease, how she masks it with finding ways to keep herself pleasantly occupied. Distention, tummy hurting, no eating and way behind on fluids just by looking at her.

Yes, I need to look at the blessings of what she is able to do and that is much. Last night when I was previewing her 3rd grade math I was so concerned she would need lot of review, but she did so well. The mornings are definately better for her than the afternoon, evening. It was just hard to watch her slowly melt. The heat doesn't help and she has mentioned she is ready for cooler weather.

Thinking of all our friends out there. Missing you! Praying all the children are adjusting to school and able to keep up with all that is given them to do.

Sunday, August 31, 2008 7:29 AM CDT

Yesterday was monumental.

We visited with our friend which was such a blessed time.

Ran over to Louisville to the Founders Day. Got to hit the Jamestown exhibit which was grand and enjoy being with friends.

Olivia did a lot of things, red faced and tired as it was hot. Thankful I gave her ball of fluids prior. They had fun.

Dave and David set up the new bed together--in record time. They so love putting things together. Bunk with a sofa underneath--futon. Will be something David can have for years.

I got a horrible headache from the blacksmith's smoke. But it was all worth it.

We'll home church today as planned and prepare for tomorrow's picnic/planning meeting for scouts and school on Tuesday--for real!

Friday, August 29, 2008 5:53 PM CDT

Today was big.

Olivia was up and out of bed for some of it; she continues to have J tube issues, low energy but knitting furiously.

We watched Sarah Palin's speech and was encouraged there are people who are in office because they want to do the right thing, because they have a servants heart. Clear as to when life begins, for using our American resources, I pray we'll still have the freedoms of homeschooling after this election. So much talk of universal this and that can be scary for someone who wants to educate their own child, be THE MAIN influence in their life.

Also, I spent time talking with friends and had the opportunity to hear our Miss Betsy's voice! To say we are thankful seems like an understatement.

I got word yesterday that one of Dr. K's patients got off of TPN! It will be a process, but we rejoice with this family and with Dr. K.

So thankful for His constant Presence in our life.

Friday, August 29, 2008 0:15 AM CDT

Just a few minutes into this day.

Today was a hard day for Olivia. Pain in the tummy.

She announced tonight she wants to stay in bed all day tomorrow.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008 6:28 PM CDT

Olivia is much better. Actually, she can swing from looking really not good to great within a day. It is a matter of swinging with her--and not allowing her to stay in bed too long when she needs to be up--or GET in bed when she needs to be in bed.

But she has become very good about what I call self medicating herself. Meaning she knows if she is "dry" and may need fluids, or that she needs to slow it down or speed it up--she still is 8 years old and STILL wants to run and go like the energizer bunny but knows she can't.

And there is a distinct maturity about her which may stem from her having something like Pseudo Obstruction, tubes, CVL, cathing and ostomy products, but I think it is a great example of how God can take something which many (parents) would shudder for their child to "have"--and make it into something as beautiful as the flower Olivia has become and continues to grow into.

She isn't perfect--there is none righteous, none perfect walking this earth at this moment in time.

I never want to take for granted all the lovely people who have loved us and through that love supported us.

When I think upon you, I thank God.

Sunday, August 24, 2008 10:30 AM CDT

Dave is in St Louis visiting his folks as he's not been there all summer. The kids and I will make the trip Thursday before our before full school starts. With Dave being off on Monday and Tuesdays we have opposite days which work around a weekend. Monday and Tuesday are off limits, but Thursday and Friday are doable for us in "school", but once again, God is holding the puzzle box lid and knows what it is supposed to look like in the end.

Yesterday took a toll on Olivia. The heat, coupled with just all the standing, walking, well, she was worn out last night. She knitted to some Olympics before completely crashing. Both kids had a rough night of sleeping, and I made the decision of no church at 6:30 when I needed to get up.

Olivia said she would have gotten up but said she had a hard night with her "burning belly" and I know I was up with her through the night as well. Her voice was "tiny" as it gets when she is not well or tired.

Bless her heart. So, she is big today, but has started to dump which can be good or bad. Fluids all day will help her stay hydrated. She leaks out J and nothing will vent out either. She has had a rough week with another issue which comes and goes due to having an ostomy. Olivia really didn't make it an issue at all, and only told me after a day of it.

She knits still. Something about a black and white glasses case for someone. And 4x4 squares for another special friend. She even got some green frizzy yarn to make a little purse. She has a mission. Thank you to all the special folks out there who encourage her and lift her up in your prayers. Thank you. Tears.

As always God is so faithful. We all got to watch a preacher that a friend (who canNOT go to church on Sundays tag teaming with her husband for their son's sake) told me about a long time ago. It was a message which refreshed my heart, God's Grace. We all were blessed. It was what we were supposed to do and hear. No doubt!

I'm so glad that I don't have to get permission from someone on whether or not we can stay home, and that God isn't only within the bricks of a building.
I'm so thankful that God can meet us right where we are, in a hospital bed, home bed, sitting on the grass or sitting in the pew.

Wearing my eternal glasses--God's 20/20 vision!
To Jesus!

Romans 8:28
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

Saturday, August 23, 2008 5:37 PM CDT

Finally, FINALLY--the kids and I hit the yarn, fabric art supply stores!

Olivia was able to spend her special money which was given to her for projects like knitting and sewing. We had a great day looking and exploring new possibilites of "making" things. She literally had used ALL her yarn she has had, all from Auntie Joyce and from Mrs. Booth. Remarkable. She is once again the KNITTING maching we know her to be.

We also had to visit the pet store where Papa and I got Mr. Wings last December--or was it end of November? Anyway, we stayed there much longer than I had anticpated but enjoyed talking with one of the sales lady about birds and got some fun ideas for Mr. Wings. He seems to be very content, especially since his cage is up against a chair so Izza can be close by. He loves visitors!

The highlight was a new addition. A dwarf hamster which is a light grey with a black stripe down the back. "IT" is beautiful and Olivia has already watered and fed it by hand and introduced "IT" to Charlie (who LOVES more animals to care for) and Izza who is now extra wide eyed and curious. "Squeekers" because "IT" squeeked, but then later David claimed it is "Squeekie"--oh dear, another debate on names.

Friday's art classes for me went so well. Each class promises to give me inspiration through student work. I bask watching their determination to draw without looking at their paper (blind continuous contour drawing) and the fun of the surprise.

During Olivia's class she drew a picture at the bottom-- of herself--with curly hair and announced (which really surprised me how open she was about herself) that when she is well known people will look at this picture and know I am pretty! Her fellow student who is equally interesting had to banter back and forth not on the issue of her being pretty (thank you, LORD) but whether or not she would be indeed "famous" one day.

Later that night while watching The Waltons (a revisited fixation) Olivia claimed her reasoning behind enjoying the show so much. Something about it having good values and teaches a lesson each time. I still say "WHERE IS JOHN BOY?" in this world? It is a GREAT teaching tool, JB is NOT perfect and that is the goodness of it.

Looking to Jesus.

Thursday, August 21, 2008 9:23 PM CDT

Why rush summer away when you don't have to?

With the Olympics still on and going through supply closets, decided to wait yet another week, (so the kids think) but we've made mosaic stepping stones, primed and painted school bookshelves, a bird house that Dave and David made last spring, little things. Good things, homeschooling is the coolest thing I've ever done in my life. I'm relishing these days at home.

Olivia is in a major knitting spurt, knitting her way through historical fiction CDs galore--she is whipping all sorts of things out and now she and her knittin' friends are going to knit squares for a very special knittin' teacher. We pray each square knitted will bring us closer to seeing Miss Betsy again. We thank God for His tender healing mercies.

Olivia is taking a very active role in her care, she is now doing her own dressing changes, and has been doing her own pouches. I sometimes take it for granted all that she DOES do for herself. Whether it be emptying bags from the night before, or getting the supplies out for "over night cath"--emptying her supplies into the cabinet, all of it. I'm just as delighted as I found folks who WANT the POLAR Packs that TPN deliveries bring almost a dozen every two weeks. Seems like a small thing, but when you count supply boxes, and these Polar PACKS!

Tonight was our homeschool group's first meeting. We made it a family event.

One of the moms brought two beautiful bouquets of flowers. On our way out, this (and any who has had contact with her would agree) woman gave a bouquet to Olivia. She gave it to me to give to her, as she didn't know she had been there (knitting away with her friends!).

Such a beautiful symbol, these flowers.

Tonight after hook up and cath in I curled up next to Olivia and asked her what did the bouquet mean to her,

It means someone loves me, not just my family, and not just Jan Whittenberg, but someone else loves me.

Wow.

A hurtin' tummy time to vent.

To Jesus.

Saturday, August 16, 2008 1:57 PM CDT

A little 10 year old girl, Isabella lost her battle with Mito this past week. I had emailed with her mom once or twice a long time ago, her daughter had been transplanted as well. Just recently I found her CB site and have been spending time reading about this little girl. What pure pain her family are experiencing.

I do not know all of her story, but I do know she was good friends with other friends of ours which means people I care about--are hurting again, reliving their loss of their child or children.

In taking a break from putting another coat of color on the cement floor (yes, most people would have finished this project days after starting, nooo--not me--it'll be weeks!) I read a bit more on this incredible fighter.

She was in the 50 yard dash at the Transplant Games just a month ago. Having suffered a stroke (not sure how long ago) she rode in her wheel chair for the first half and then the second half she walked with her walker--her mom discribed the stadium of people standing and cheering Isabelle to her very own victory. Halmark channel has NOTHING on that. This was the REAL stuff. It is a mental picture of strength that I want to hold onto--somehow.

Praying for comfort and peace for this family.

I believe I am to take a time off from journaling here on the CB site. May be for a week, or longer. I know many people go months without an entry and that really isn't my style as I have so much to say--every day.

The next few weeks are going to be full days with D n O school, and starting up art classes. We will not be in FULL swing of "school" until September 8th when David has Scouts and Olivia piano. I like staggering things. I'm also all about slowing it down, and not fretting over the "earthly gonna burn up one day stuff"--hmmm, maybe that is why the basement isn't completed? It will be by mid week.

The fun part is about to begin.

Please pray that Olivia stays well, no glitch fevers which interrupt her life and that she'll continue to grow in all the ways God intends.

To Jesus.

Friday, August 15, 2008 8:55 AM CDT

Although we don't start until Monday OFFICIALLY, today is a bit of a "school" day!
I have an art class for the younger student. Something I felt compelled to do, which last year I vowed to not teach the very young. I am excited to see their art. Teaching art is like a birthday, Christmas--drawings, paintings coming forth like gifts. And then we have a Boys Book Club with a small group of boys. I am hoping this will get _me_ reading more and it has.

I find it all keeps me sharp.

I think we ALL are ready with two back to back days for quiet home, readjusting to home.

What a summer. Olivia has not been plagued for the most part with her illness. She has had a full incredible summer. I have to remember she doesn't alway dig on the same things as the rest of us--she really needs to have her down time and she tends to want to be home with her beloved Izza and hens. We brought a hen back from Papa's to be Henny Penny's friend.

So things here are good. We are working on getting Olivia back to her best, but God will have to do the rest.

And continued prayers for a dear friend.

Faithfulness of His Presence.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008 10:10 PM CDT

Olivia is feeling better. She was so happy to have her brother home with her. They both played most of the day in the basement.

We are being faithful with Flagyl right now in hopes it'll do the trick and get Olivia over the hump. She is pretty distended.

Tomorrow is another all home day, readying for school which is scheduled to start on Monday.

We continue to ask for prayers for a dear friend who is battling a major bacterial infection.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008 6:48 PM CDT

Catching one's breath.

Having spent some time at Papa's resting, kite flying, rockets, visiting, building camp fires, taking walks, and catching bull frogs.

Catching up.

Olivia went home with Dave on Sunday afternoon. She was tired, big and minorly miserable. Just enough that warranted her wanting to go home.

Papa's birthday was very special with a visit from his sister, brother in law, nephew and his wife and grand nephew. A very special time for all of us as none had met Carolyn, but more than just that--got to enjoy her in her element of nature hunting.

Dave and Olivia headed out that afternoon after shooting rockets nd flying kites. It was a primo kite flying day on Papa's birthday, and rocket launching a bit more problematic, but fun to hunt for the flyers in the fields of soybeans.

Good entertainment.

As always I love spending time with Papa, brother and niece.
Thankful.

David and I arrived home only in time for me to shower and head to prayer then the library with Olivia. Who is still off--although all labs say she is doing well, her ultra sound was good--good growing kidneys! We do not hold this as a given and take it lightly. I'm so thankful for God's watchful care over Olivia's growth.

Now we are home with a basement floor in need of completion and art classes starting on Friday.

We continue to pray for our dear friend and her healing.

Saturday, August 9, 2008 12:21 AM CDT

Miss Olivia has been working herself into a flare for over a week now. She is in a full fledged one. She is hanging tough and enjoying the Papa V's house and Uncle and Cousin time.

We've had a camp fire each night. Collecting the wood, playing at the pond, and just well, relaxing.

Thank you for your care.

What a blessing always to see others. I feel like our time in Cincy was a mini Oley conference! We met Ally and her Mom, and sister Megan and brother Sean! What FUN!

Alley sees the same folks O does.

A few of my most favorite people in this world.

Dave, Papa and Greg!

Camp FIRE at Papa's.
WTG Daddy-O!

MARSHMALLOWS!

Please continue to pray for a friend. God KNOWS.

To JESUS!

Friday, August 8, 2008 7:46 AM CDT

Record time TPNclinic was due to how GREAT Olivia is doing. She grew 3 cm and gained weight, but we won't count that as she was distended.

Dr. K even heard a bowel sound.

While Papa, Dave, Uncle Greg and David were at the Reds game I took the girls swimming. This is about Olivia's once a year swim time as this pool has the fresh clean feeling! I wasn't gung ho as I had fogotten my suit, but as soon as the "boys" left to walk over to the Great American Ballpark Olivia hounded me.

So there we were the two little girls finding our way to this highly regarded pool.

There was a Grandma and Mom and a little girl and a little boy. I believe they were German and immediately the little girl around O's age or younger struck a fast friendship. Soon "Lilly" was inviting Olivia up to the hot tub where her Grandma and Mum were. I walked over with Grandma Lodige on my ear, as she was last year there with us and was supposed to be with us this year. And the Mum said, I'll keep an eye on her--at which point I just said "only legs" and she questioned, oh only legs? Well, she has a central line.

On Olivia's return from her stay at the hot tub with her new friend and her family Olivia said, You started something--now she'll find out I have all this and will want to end our friendship!

This was fast drama to watch and meanwhile Carolyn swam and they got into several games of shark and fish. All went well and everyone was sad to part, not from the pool but from their friends.

I'm finding with Olivia in the last year that she has opened herself up to new people--young and old. She used to be so fearful.

God is really growing her.

On to this day.

Continued prayers needed for two adult friends who are awaiting understanding regarding their health.

God knows.

Thursday, August 7, 2008 3:43 PM CDT

Clinic was record time.

Dr. K and Nurse Gerry looked great and were pleased.

I am so thankful for their watch care over us.

Papa, Dave, Uncle Greg and David are walking over to the Reds game.

I have the two girls and they are playing with minimal trinkets. Carolyn gave names to everyone:

Papa Virg--Elephant
Uncle Dave--Giraffe
Auntie Sheila--Mouse

David--Squirrel (David changed it to Racoon)
Olivia--Chipmunk (Olivia changed it to Bunny)

Carolyn--Skunk

Please, we need prayers continued for a dear friend, an unspoken request at this point, but God knows.

Thursday, August 7, 2008 1:12 AM CDT

Renal US went well. Olivia voided all that was in her bladder. This is a victory.

All went well and much to be said about today. We enjoyed our dinner with Angie, Noel and Noah and then meeting and greeting with the Winter family. Olivia and Alley up in bed making things out of yarn.

Please pray for a dear friend of ours. At this point it is a very unspoken request.

For His Glory.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008 6:42 AM CDT

Even Day!

It is still pretty early, but could not sleep, especially after Izza came to sharpen her nonexistant claws on the bed. What a silly cat.

Having rained last night and for those who have sat in our big room can imagine the fog rolling between the two knobs. It is thin and looks almost like a smoke that is being pushed through, but we are not in California. It is a blessed beautiful part of our area here in Southern Indiana.

Yesterday was a VERY DeKold day with ALL of us together. That is a big deal around here. We are usually divided in some manner.

After having our preschool/fall family meeting in which we discussed chores and expectations we were off to the races. David went swimming with Daddy and a friend while Olivia and I hit the library.

We have a grand library. Yesterday though, our usual children's folks were not there. We have a few there who know us and are so helpful and responsive to the kids. Olivia wanted to find American Girl books and movies.

With persistence Olivia found someone to help her find the Felicity movie. All the while I was looking for reading list books, other books, O sat and read her Felicity book. This was the first time she read a little chapter book by herself with no prodding. Yeah! She got a "Meet Kit" book as well. We picked out some books on CDS to take for our driving time over the next short week.

AND the Felicity DVD to watch during her renal us.

A new Olivia craft is to crochet with a very small crochet needle with thread like yarn. She is making delicate little dishes and bowls. She would sit and do that while listening to her books on CD--for HOURS. She mentioned her little fingers were ACHING.

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But alas, Olivia leaked and changed J pillows all the day long. She is now pretty distended (which I do not say lightly) and hasn't had any output OUT throughout the night which is not normal or good.

Off to Cincy for the ultra sound and to see our beloved Dr. K and Nurse Gerry.

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Prayer request for our friend Colyn and his family.

Monday, August 4, 2008 7:54 PM CDT

This week really has snuck up on me.

It is time for Uncle Greggie and Carolyn's annual visit to here.

Olivia has her renal ultra sound Wednesday and regular TPN clinic Thursday. Then I have the two girls all to me while everyone else sees the Reds play.

Anxious to see my brother. This is the most I've seen him and Carolyn ever.

Thank you Lord.

Saturday, August 2, 2008 7:29 AM CDT

I used to always sleep with a pillow over my head with just enough space for my face to peak out to breathe. Last night Olivia called for Daddy who wasn't going to awake, and I heard her voice seeping down through my pillow to pop up and realize a pillow was over my head!

Her tummy was hurting and she was fairly distended. So, I laid down with her for the rest of the morning rubbing her foot. Her tiny narrow foot which loves to skate and run.

With a big outside fun day yesterday we'll slow it back to Level 0 in excitment and she'll be fine.

David received his birthday skates from Grandma and Grandpa DeKold yesterday and immediately tried them. They fit perfectly and he was a very happy boy to be able to roll his way through the house. Thank YOU!

After everyone had gone Olivia and I sat outside as it was breezie and quiet with only a little sparrow above us on the old oak tree trying to get a better look see at us. I was asking her about her decoupage project which she really enjoyed doing. I KNEW she would as she is such a craft girl. I then asked what all the children were playing at the end of the day--horses of course. Olivia was someone's foul and the boys were trying to capture all the horses (girls). I asked if David captured anyone and she said he was the captain and didn't. I asked if anyone captured her--she said "Oh no, No one wanted me."

Just as matter of factly spoken with no hint of care in the world those words about nailed my heart to the ground! Tears welled up in my eyes, but she kept on rattling on and said she was so glad no one came after her as she was afraid they would grab her shirt and "well you know what could happen then"

It is always a pleasure to hear Olivia's slant on things and she does tell me her feelings and thoughts of what goes on very easily. GIRLS!

It is working weekend for Dave. He has had some long nights this week. Time to finish getting the basement in order for school to start! Things will gradually start and in September we'll be doing all the lessons/outside studies--so now is the time.

I'd like to ask for folks to pray for a friend Heidi who has three children and on TPN herself as well as her daughter. Delightful friends we have met at conferences and always enjoy spending time with them.

Friday, August 1, 2008 7:14 AM CDT

August 1!

Time at Grandma Lodgie and Grandpa Jerry's house was quiet and relaxing. It is one of my favorite places to be. There is always good conversation, food and sleep! We went on a dairy field trip which was A REAL TRIP! But beyond seeing a lot of how we get milk and the process of how cheese is made, it was the excellent way God gave us His people to fellowship with there. You can see a picture of their grandson Liam on the photo page. Carolyn as we drove away said, I love Liam and will marry him.

Two days ago while watching David swim, Olivia got a proposal of marrage by our new friend Matthew.

Yesterday was a much needed quiet day with a very special visitor to our home--one we love very much and is a great supporter to us here. AND IT WAS her FIRST TIME HERE! With not having "family" around us, again, God provides us with so many wonderfully loving caring people.

TOday we are having a planning meeting for Keepers of the Faith. A group that really opened their homes, hearts and lives to us last year. Olivia and I both grew so much from meeting with these moms and daughters last year and looking forward to this new upcoming year.

To Jesus!

Wednesday, July 30, 2008 7:44 AM CDT

Oley Conference was a type of Heaven on earth. Seeing friends from all around the country who have a reference point similar to your own--all of it. Precious children and parents which surround you in support and great ideas.

We've gone to related conferences from the beginning. But now that the children are old enough to maintain and pursue relationships during the year it is very important to make as many meetings like this as possible.

Olivia has commented over and over how she'll meet someone and then never ssee them again. (never?) So, she was pretty broken when we left San Diego thinking she'd never see Laura again.

The drive up the great state of California was long and fun. I thought we were driving just a bit up the road, but ended up only a bit away from La Grange (our final destination) so it was a long and dark drive. But it was the night I got to sleep with Carolyn and to hear her "tickle me please" -- we slept like logs.

Last night went down the hill to see our friends--and while just talking about the states we went through I was so emotional--like old friends, well, new friends on most accounts.

Yesterday was a hard day for Olivia. There is no rhyme or reason, other than maybe she is tired from the huge days and nights we've had around here. But it is all good things, living life things so I have no regrets. It is just a reminder that Olivia can be knocked out a bit more from such days.

While at our friends house her J tube popped out. She had just taken a "high tech" bath before going too--so she was very distraught over that, but we got her home and washed her up as it was just a bit before the appointed time we needed to leave.

To sit here and describe what makes a difficult day for Olivia seems so redundant. It is that chronic (reoccuring) symptom or symptoms that rears up--once a week--once every two weeks--every other day? It is all subject to change.

So we continue to ready the house for pending schoolage to start. I pressed the day back to Monday, August 18. We were going to start when the PS does, but it would have been the day after coming back from Papa's with Uncle Greg and Carolyn. I do start some art lessons that week.

August 6-7 we have renal ultrasound and TPNclinic, UNCLE GREGgie and COUSIN Carolyn! It'll be a great way to end the summer. Praying all is well with clinic and we won't have to go back for 3 months.

Onward and pressing on to the PRIZE!

Friday, July 25, 2008 8:30 AM CDT

I was ever so thankful to find a clean and fresh hotel in Arizona. Where we stayed in Casa Grande was a primo area and although it was 110 it felt wonderful to be there early in the day to get Olivia comfortable in bed.

We drew the drapes and shut out the sun while the kids watched old black and white TV and I regrouped and ordered in food.

HUMUS and PITA--pizza for David, but I was delighted to have good fresh food.

David had to give up the idea of going swimming for the remainder of our trip during our traveling days. He swam in San Diego at the hotel. In Arizona Olivia was just not up to getting out of bed which was fine by me--it was a good rest day after 3 nights of not sleeping fully in NM due to Olivia not feeling great.

So we relaxed that day, rested.

The next day about 2 hours down the road from Casa Grande I realized that I had left one of my cell phones there. It made for an interesting trip. I no longer was able to talk on the phone--as my other phone was getting low on battery and needed to safe it.

I thought I would have talked a lot on the phone, but I really didn't. The kids and I were busy listening to CDs and didn't want to take that away from them.

But the drive from Casa Grande to San Diego was so unexpectedly adventuresome. The LONG roads, the idea that Mexico was right next to us, the small filling stations with nothing around them for miles, the earth, the plants, the ROCKS--Devil's Canyon--John Philip Sousa cranked up as we drove through that--all of us were just thrilled to see such boulders.

We took it slowly as we didn't want to get there TOO early. And by the time we were on the skirts of San Diego we didn't even know it! We found our hotel and set up house (only for one night--we were getting good at it by now) and took macbook pro to the lobby and video chatted with friends from home while waiting for Carolyn and Grandma to arrive.

I'll never forget seeing my little niece in her polka dotted dress--a bit intrepid with me, but not with her David and Olivia.

What a fun night that was and it was just the beginning of wonderful moments spent with David and Olivia with their cousin--Carolyn.

Carolyn REtaught, REminded me so much about HOW to parent and love again. She was used by God to continue the amazing journey.

Just as when we come to Christ and become that new Creature, how God then begins to grow us, teach us, mold us, show us, how to be a Child of God--what it means to be a Child of God. He used Carolyn.

When we arrived at our Oley hotel the next day we were greeted by the Woods + Alycia. There they took care of us--Britt even found me a new charger for my phone (which I LOST within 2 hours of her getting it?). In looking back now, God gave such amazing examples of WHO He is through different children of His. Servants, Prayer Warriors, Parents of INCREDIBLE Faith and TRUST.

God had brought me from JOY and now to Trust. Trusting Him.
Had I ever? Really? I think I had, but it is different now. Deeper.

Exciting. All of this is--Revival.

But I will wait to talk more of the Oley conference later--the basement awaits.

My help, Robin is due to arrive soon. What a huge answer to prayer she has been--in so many ways.

Olivia is doing great! She is very tired by the end of FULL days. Both David and Olivia have helped SO much on the basement too--it has been very physically taxing, but we are closer today than we were yesterday--Praise GOD.

To Him...

All
the
Glory!

Thursday, July 24, 2008 8:36 AM CDT

You know it was a good "trip" if you find yourself thinking upon the images, the moments spent with people, all of it. I've not really journaled a lot concerning about our great journey mainly as I'm still formulating what it really was.

I feel as if it was a turning point in MY life as a Christian, wife, mom and a friend.

Driving in the earlier part of the trip I wanted to proclaim His Greatness to me and scream to the world that I AM a new Creature in Jesus and that in my weaknesses and frailities I AM STILL HIS. I was empowered by His Grace of giving me an eternal Life.

It was all so internal, although I did find my external responses were tempered in such a brand new way. There was a rededication thing going on--it was thrilling.

In Arizona I was so thankful to have reached that far and Olivia had swung back over to feeling herself after a lot of quiet prayer, fluids and prayer. I clung to Jesus. But I wasn't scared, just prepared to do what it took.

Although the drive from NM to AZ was hard with her vomiting and just not feeling well--it was still such a blessing--we were JOYFUL.

The prayer each morning was that JOY would fill our lives. I so wanted the children to understand (and myself too) to put God first, then others THEN ourselves. The whole trip was based around that. It could not have happened as beautiful if that didn't happen.

The colors enhanced it all for me. I loved all the colors there as I love them all as I sit and look out my big window.

But alas, I must stop here and get on with this day.

Holding to His TRUTH.

Trusting.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008 8:42 AM CDT

Olivia was so excited and happy to see where David goes to all his Scout camps. We decided this year to go to Family Night. It was so much fun. HOT but fun. Olivia really wants to try to go to Cuboree this September. I am all for giving it my all to make it happen.

The bandana photo was taken in Yukon, OK. Cousin photo while at Grandma Lodgie and Grandpa Jerry's house. And O and Laura on our way to Sea World.

With all that is going on with other friends we seem to be in a very quiet season. I'm so thankful for that. Our days at home working on house projects is so needed. We are pulling up the old carpet and painting the walls in the "schoolstudio room" downstairs. It wasn't for fun; it was imperative.

We have 1 1/2 weeks to complete all we need to before starting school. Then the appointed time is over. So, I am feeling the push, but also, we can only do what these bodies can do.

Monday, July 21, 2008 10:05 PM CDT

Pavarotti putting Olivia to sleep tonight. I caught David brushing his teeth.

Is he singing in English?

He doesn't need to.

I see my David with a new set of Mother eyes. He'll be ten less than a week.

How he has grown. He knows more than I do on some things and his information gathering faster than I can keep up, but life learning lessons, questions of depth, sharing his dreams there is still a place for me, his mother.

I am relishing his wanting to allow me into this part of him.

Olivia has David's black roller skates growing on her feet I do believe. She has such a willing spirit of quietness and helpfulness.

Saturday, July 19, 2008 1:45 PM CDT

Summer time--off school time has been good for us all.

Laxing on the up and at 'em feel but kids still doing chores helps me with the little stuff.

Olivia is the window washer and my go girl--she wears her skates around the house taking pumps, bags, thises and thats all back to their home within our home.
Pressing on. . .

Thursday, July 17, 2008 9:21 AM CDT

Having looked through many of my photos I am here to say that America is as beautiful as ever. The majesty of the mountains to the grains of sand-God in His Creation continues to inspire.

We finally ventured out for David's swim class yesterday which posed to be a very interesting time. There I met an amazing mom who has two children 7 and 6. Her 7 year old is autistic and how she related to him, directed him made me know immediately she was not any ordinary mom. So, of course, we struck up a conversation and found out she homeschools, etc. and she is a mover and a shaker for the autistic community. All in the name of Jesus.

It was interesting as Olivia and I picked up immediately that he was special. He wanted to visit with the babies and show them his toy truck. Olivia's level of comfort was so different; it used to be she would crinkle and close up around a child who was extra curious and outgoing in fear their curiousity would be aimed toward the "bumps under her shirt"--but she just knitted along with a very knowing content smile and we were in agreement that God sure does have a lot of precious special people in this world.

I am so thankful how D and O accept differences in such an order and loves them.

Then another surprise of the day--had been emailing with a mom about her daughter showing me her portfolio for comment. I thought we'd meet up in a week, but alas, it was yesterday that they showed! I still giggle to myself how it all was--dust from Dave's work, clutter from a trip, just basic living. They were so gracious and so utterly kind. Olivia with her brother's skates on all day--rolled over and gave each one of her "knittin's" which blessed us all as well as the art work I got to see. Amazing gifts God gives.

We stayed home and worked in the yard and puttered, found the world's largest toad, a black swallow butterfly larvae and cut the grass (sort of).

Grandpa PETE had a BIG 85 birthday yesterday! We look forward to seeing them in August. It is the year of 5s! I'll be 45 and Dave 55!

Papa comes today to stay with us for a few days.

Grandma Lodgie's doctor appointment was RESCHEDULED!

Trust.

To Jesus.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008 7:59 PM CDT

Today was a summer day! The kids finally got to be home together in the summer.

Papa is awaiting some results and has decided to come here for a few days which will be very nice.

Praying for Grandma Lodgie tomorrow.

I started the day in a real way--not the mental picture of my doing it (ROSIE)--and road my bike the long circle--maybe 4 miles? All I know is Floyds Knobs has some pretty major hills--and the inclines are nothing to sneeze at either.

Saw an indigo bunting and a blue bird--just those two birds made it worth it all.

Lots of sweat and tears--
To Jesus.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008 2:22 AM CDT

The myriad of mosquito bites are about the only medical issues for Olivia right now. They love her. She seems to be feeling better and her color is coming back. She's back to knitting; she's glad to be home with Izza, "Henny Penny" and everyone else.

David had his first violin lesson since being gone. He did really well and held his own on all points. Basically just got him playing again and that he did! It is funny, now, Olivia comes right in with me, sits down and gets her knitting out. It was sooo funny. David's teacher didn't bat an eye.

Papa isn't feeling "right" and therefore will see his Dr. V. tomorrow. We've opted to stay home from our annual Peru, Indiana visit which I really think is best at this time for all of us. Just want Papa to feel better and on a more even keel. Many of you have asked about him and my mom-she has her "appointment" on Wednesday. At that point we'll know a lot more and what the remainder of her summer will look like. We are praying she'll be able to come back to us.

We have a special friend too who needs prayer concerning a physical ailment. We are praying for just an infection which the Lord will use the ABX to knock out of her body.

While praying tonight it was impressed upon my heart how much God is right here in the midst of it all. How His plans are best and how much He loves us.

Keeping close to Jesus.

Sunday, July 13, 2008 10:03 PM CDT

Finally hit the grocery store today and when filling out the check I wrote June. The last three months have totally slipped away from me.

Olivia and I jaunted over to Tunnel Mill Scout camp Saturday night to finally see what all the Cuborees and Resident Camps have looked like. It took me by surprise by how great it all was and how much both Dave and David bring so much back from this experience.

IT was probably the hottest and most humid days we've experienced since last August, but Olivia had her fluids and despite the sun, she did really well.

David was sure to put his arms around his sister, hugging her. He was so happy to see us. Told me today that he felt like he was there for 3 weeks!

We opted to come home after dinner and some singing and when we arrived there was that smell of storm. After checking the radar I called Dave to give him a quick report. Glad they left--missed all the action by 10 minutes.

Charlie was ONE very HAPPY dog to hear his boy come through the door, in the KNICK of time--during the storm to boot.

Tonight David showed us all what he had learned at camp. He had set up 3 different ways of starting a camp fire. Interesting! So we in all the glory of a beautiful summer's night made family SMORES!

Yes!

To JESUS!

Friday, July 11, 2008 10:55 PM CDT

Olivia is so patient.

With Dave and David gone to Webelos camp--I've been in decompression mode--trying to organize school and our calendar for lack of energy.

So I surprised her with going to the Kit movie. She dressed (in full Olivia gear) in 3 minutes down to the Aunt Lynn bracelet and rings! She took an American Girl doll with her. But first we ran over to Target to spend her gift card she got at Oley. They had a nightgown with kitties all over it! Perfect!

We were early to the Kit movie which was good. I'm not much for rushing around much. The movie was delightful. Olivia likes the Great Depression.

I can't help to think of my Grandma Irene.

We had a good girl time out.

She is tired a lot. So definitely will draw labs Monday.

Dave and David are having a great time. Webelos camp has been more sessions. Sounds like David is learning a lot. I can't even begin to imagine how spent he may feel. Not even home 24 hours before heading out to camp. He is a trooper!

And with another violin recital coming up!

Papa feels better.

Thank you for being such faithful folks.

Thursday, July 10, 2008 9:05 PM CDT

He does have PLANS for us--all, doesn't He?

Papa was going to come up tomorrow to watch the new Kit/AG movie with Olivia and me, but alas he was in another "flare"--and with Dave forgetting his BP meds--O and I were in the car YET again today!

I do think Papa has some dismotility.

After dropping off the meds with the office at the camp we headed up and around and in and out the roads watching the dashboard--and my direction was pretty good! We ended up in Hanover after MANY twists and turns--it was a REAL adventure--we were listening to "Pligrims Progress" while trying to find our way out of the wilds of Southern Indiana. It was beautiful!

We had a very nice quiet visit with Papa. He even had enough energy to walk to the pond. Olivia loved being at the pond and with Charlie.

Charlie is with us--whining about the house looking for his "boy"--

Tomorrow we'll attack the unpacking and cleaning and grip finding of this house.

Prayers for Papa, Grandma Lodgie--and for another dear friend. Olivia looks a bit pale, could be UTI, or just plain tired--or hey, maybe needs IRON. Will keep an *EYE* on her maybe draw labs.

Time for TPN and WALTONS with my girl!

TO JESUS!

Wednesday, July 9, 2008 11:41 PM CDT

Southern Indiana's rolling green tree filled hills were a VERY welcome sight.

Today's drive was strange. We head out of Topeka, KS later than I had hoped. We all slept in until 10 AM Eastern time! It was much needed with a few nightly duties. Olivia was such a dear and so helpful.

We had a good drive with a few exits to get gas, etc. that led to a longer trip, but overall--we did great driving today.

Olivia carried her "Izza" who is now called Little Miss Mittens all over the house. And in true Izza fashion curled up into her ball and let the girl carry her about. Sugar even came out for some love.

Charlie and Mr. Wings are still with Papa.

What an amazing journey it was.

David recited in order the states we visited 13 in ALL! I don't think I'll ever forget the beautiful images from each state and although I was so ready to come home I have to say that AZ and NV (ok, Yes, SLC area too) really intrigued me. So glad I have plenty of photos.

On a medical front, Olivia is tired. She was on fluids all day, but still was behind a bit from all the dumping. Will be good to just be home and rest tomorrow.

Daddy and David are OFF to WEBELOS camp TOMORROW! David will ENJOY being OUT and about--moving around. Whereas O will want to stay quiet.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008 10:15 PM CDT

A rather late start from Longmont, CO--but we made it to Topeka, KS by 11 PM our HOME time. We passed a van from IN several times and they ended up staying at the same hotel as we did. The kids and I had tears of HOME!

Olivia obstructed--we were at an elevation last night--and it showed. She sat up in bed and vomited! And then today she DUMPED all day--and her second HUGE (FULL as a TICK) pouch emptied ALL over the back seat. A good Liter's worth. OH!!!

My prayer is that during such crisis I would handle it with more grace and mercy. We were 50 mi to our hotel, tired, and well, tired. We all gave each other much needed words of love-after I had my mama melt down.

Humbling.

How I love my children--this trip has been so good for us as students and teacher together.

Olivia has been helping with priming her pump; and they each step it up when it is time to leave and pack up and pack into the hotel. I am learning that David is ready to take on more than ever.

I have to admit in my weakness today I felt paranoid and bit sorry for myself as saw families carrying a duffle bag in each--easy parade to their room.

But at the same point, God has given me much needed confidence in HIS care for us--we have been so far away from "home"--alone--way out in some pretty desolate places--but He kept us safe.

Home tomorrow.

To Jesus.

Monday, July 7, 2008 8:59 PM CDT

Longmont, Colorado.

I've never been to Colorado? Have I? We can see the Rockies off in the distance. Snow streaking down the massive landforms.

Wyoming was beautiful. Different colors, prairie dogs and antelope.

We stopped an official "COWBOY CAFE" for breakfast. It was our first breakfast out this whole trip. Fun.

Kids are ready to be home to see Daddy, pets and friends.

I am too--but really enjoying the day long scenery.

God blows me away with His amazing Creation.

Sunday, July 6, 2008 9:33 PM CDT

Today we drove from Fernley, NV to Evanston, WY.

The diversity of just today's drive is a bit overwhelming for my artist's eye. Nevada is vast. The Salt Flats seemed exotic. Salt Lake City is an interesting drive by view. East of Salt Lake City with the green hill mountains turning into red rocked mountains and horse lands--all of it. Lovely.

We are on Volume IV of Jonathan Park.

A drive to St Louis, or to Papa's even to Cincinnati for clinic will have such a different flavor. After having driven almost 600 mi today with nothing but gas station stops and a quick food pick up--those drives will seem like but a short drive.

We're not home yet--many miles ahead of us. Driving to me is relaxing, reflective--ENJOYABLE! I know the kiddos would be glad to wake up tomorrow at home, and I'm ready for home as well, but I've so enjoyed the sights of this country and looking forward to seeing the southern part of WY tomorrow.

Dave has two days before his FAMILY IS HOME! We are anxious to see Daddy!

TO Jesus. . . .

Sunday, July 6, 2008 8:55 AM CDT

We are currently on our last leg of the Great Adventure. Fernley, NV is where we stayed last night.

Nevada is BIG. Everything about it is just plain big.

Olivia is doing really well, currently both children are still sleeping. We have a long day of driving ahead of us so soon we'll pack up and grab a bite and head out.

When I get home I plan on organizing photos and log the trip. There have been so many wonderful days! We are all officially excited to be home!

But yesterday was hard. Leaving Mom and Jerry was heartbreaking.

We appreciate your prayers.

Monday, June 30, 2008 9:54 PM CDT

This is one of my favorite photos. If you look deeply into both sets of eyes you can see such peace and safety. This is the last day the girls were together. At first they were shy, but as Olivia said, it just took a little of time. I asked her what she and Laura talked about ALL that time spent in the hammock. She declared they shared their stories and many other things.

More on our Oley Conference as there is much to say.

Please keep Grandma Lodgie in your prayers as the next few weeks we'll learn more about her "heart" condition.

Love-

We have made it to La Grange California! This is our second to last leg of this great adventure. Here, I feel that I have a "vacation" of sorts--in that I can relax and rest.

The conference was GREAT. Friends--old and new. Olivia and Miss Laura had a lot of time together! The last day they swung in a huge hammock for hours, just talking while others who could swim--swam. That is what is so great about Oley. O didn't miss out--at all.

Uncle Greggie (my brother Greg) was able to come to the conference with us as well as his daughter who flew down with Grandma Lodgie! He got right in thee and particpated--GOOD stuff.

Olivia is doing great medically but I think she is really missing being at Oley.

We miss our friends at home--I try not to mention too much from home--while at Sea World for a few hours on Saturday--we saw a cute show--PETS RULE--which really tore at David's heart strings. . .we miss Charlie!

More later--yes, we are doing fine. Due home July 9.

Grandma Lodgie goes to the doctor tomorrow. Not sure what is going on--pray it is just some sort of asthma, allergy thing--and she'll be fine to come back with us. She has been a bit down about it all.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008 5:24 PM CDT

Sitting here in the Lobby awaiting Grandma Lodgie and Cousin Carolyn. They are due to arrive in 25 minutes.
David and Olivia are in "Pauly Parrot's Playhouse" excited--happy--having "fun"--something we joke about--"fun"--OK, yes, you can have "fun"--but only for right now!

Today's drive was just as spectacular as yesterdays with a show of cacti, amazing sand dunes, and rocks, then boulders, canyons, roads steep and long ahead.

A gift from our Heavenly Father was a flat belly, soft belly and a very happy, relieved little girl. Lots of giggles from the seats behind me today.

As we drove into "Devils Canyon" we blasted Stars and Stripes Forever--tears running down my face in awe of the scenery. How could such a beautiful display of boulders be called such a name? I could imagine a very large giant--not one as big as any that have been known before, sitting among what seemed like piles of grains of sand, but actually--mountains of boulders. It was really very surreal.

We stopped at a few very desolate pit spots which was fun--adding adventure, curiosity.

A Sheila funny--those who KNOW me and know me well--would not be surprised--I have two cell phones. Dave had gotten a 2nd one for his Mom to use, but she ended up not using it getting her own (these phones are dated WWII they are that ancient!:) so that gave me two. For me to know where both are at one given time is really a major event. And to have brought both with me on this trip--unimaginable! Cell phones, car keys, wallet--we modern people--too much for me to keep track. Well, I plugged in my old phone in the wall before leaving--and guess what!? I left it there--along with the only "juicecord"--so I have only one and it has little battery left. Thankfully, Mom has her iPhone--Greg his iChat--and I my macbookpro--so we are good to GO!

Thank you so much faithful dear friends for your prayers. I so appreciate you--so FULL of Thanks for His Sons and Daughters! Our Family of GOD!

Wednesday, June 25, 2008 7:18 AM CDT

**Thank you for praying! Olivia has a SOFT FLAT belly!**

I know there are many of our friends who are keeping us in prayer and we give thanks to the Lord God--the Great and Mighty ONE!

Pseudo Obsruction is just that--a FAKE obstruction, but in a VERY real painful, horrible way. Olivia endured a huge flare yesterday-it had been building up a few days.

It starts with not wanting to eat, distention follows--with nothing draining/venting out through the tubes, her ostomy will not have anything out, and she becomes very sensitive to smells--especially of food, even looking at food makes her vomit. Sometimes a UTI will follow.

She is sleeping peacefully--ALL night she has slept and I too--awaking aournd 4 AM PT to empty a full pouch. Her abdomen is considerably softer than it has been which is a good thing--and although she is starting to "move"--her output is very watery which means I have to keep an eye on her input level. Thursday we'll be in our hotel for the conference and there I'll have access to PLENTY of fluids. Today I have 1 Liter. Hoping to keep TPN running til the bag is DRY empty.

Thursday could be a bit problematic if her supplies are not there until later--hoping we can check in EARLY as well.

UPDATE ON DAVID--(as always JW is very thoughtfilled) David is WELL! He is so flexible and enjoying everything that is put forth to him. Having spent a lot of time listening (relistening) to Jonathan Park then visiting the Natural HIstory Museum in Albuquerque Olivia spilled the beans he wants to be a Creation paleonthologist. We were very pleased to hear in the Dinosaur movie that "they" are now saying that a "flood" had to occur for the fossils to be formed, etc. It was a great follow up for the kids to see actual footage of scientists out in the field--which goes along with the JP story.

www.visitonforum.com is where I first met JP, but www.jonathanpark.com is where you can find these cds.

Highly recommended for anyone who is searching for good material for your children to learn more about GOD as Creator--or for adults--or YOUR self! I think all Christians would delight in learning more!

Well researched and wonderful story lines.

So, David has been having fun with his chisel and hammer.

We stayed in the "cave" of a room all day yesterday.

David was a bit out of sorts that I could not take him to the pool. We had a good talk about being disappointed when things don't go they way we had "planned"--I had been thinking the same thing. If Olivia had felt better we would have stopped at several points, gone out to explore around here--but alas, she didn't--and we made the best of it. And it was good.

It wasn't maybe how it "looked" like in "planning" but it was great. Memories together.

Several people keep saying--the kids will never forget this trip--and I want that to be true on a GOOD note! So want amazing memories--filled with pictures of this beautiful country. My best memories growing up are not WHERE we were--but that we were together. I see this as a booster for SCHOOl next fall--a HUGE field trip. But from here on out--we'll always bring the PRINCIPAL with us. I MISS DAVE SOO MUCH!

Yesterday's drive was easy considering all that was happening (or NOT happening). Listening to books on CDS, the amazing surroundings--I think Flagstaff - Phoenix was amazing. It is on my list of places I'd love to revisit with Dave one day.

Saguaro Cacti were/are breathtaking! I want to take one home with me! Am hoping we can get up close and personal with one today. That is my ONE goal for today--oh, yeah--and finding the hotel and getting there before Grandma and Carolyn!

As always, traveling WEST is SO much easier than traveling EAST due to time changes. I was raring to go at 5 AM!

Please keep Noah and his family in your prayers--and all those traveling to Oley--and those who were unable to make it this year especially due to health reasons.

Praying that we'll see Uncle Greggie too! Talk about ICING on the CAKE!

TO JESUS!

Tuesday, June 24, 2008 6:26 PM CDT

After 3 days in NM we are now in Casa Grande, AZ.

Olivia had a rough time of it with the elevation. Distention and extra fluids.

She started vomiting last night around 11 PM--and in pain. Around 4:30 we left. Sitting up in the car helps to vent and helps with distraction in sleeping.

She continued to vomit all day. She hasn't since being here at the hotel.

I have to say, it was a bit concerning because she doesn't usually vomit, like that. So, needless to say she is in a Pseudo Obstruction flare.

Heard from our dear Angie--and her Noah is also in a flare--so far a week long. Please pray for relief for him. And their whole family.

Olivia never once complained today.

So thankful for traveling mercies--it went so quickly--and was beautiful.
I'll write more on the DeKold site about the trip with pictures. Later. Time to rest.

Thankful for our time in NM with aunt and uncle.

Now gearing up for tomorrow's drive to meet Grandma Lodgie and Carolyn and our Oley Friends!

Thursday, June 19, 2008 10:00 PM CDT

When I look at the ballernia photo--I'm reminded how far we've come in these last two weeks.

The drive to St Louis started at 7 AM--and we were there by 11 AM. It was the easiest drive there ever. One quick pit stop and we were on the road again.

Our visit was quiet and peaceful. Sitting on the porch watching the kids blow bubbles, paint and play baseball with Grandma and Grandpa was something I so needed. We all needed it. Grandma made one of her great meals again--that makes me dream about it all night--so I had leftovers for BREAKFAST!

Aunt Janice and Uncle Ken's cat had kittens--and Olivia was dreaming of having a "Missouri" kitty--We'd call her "Missy" for short, I think Janice thinks we'll pop in on our way home and pick her up--Whatcha think, Daddy? (Just seeing if you are reading!)

Olivia was starting to look big last night. After a pretty deep heart to heart talk concerning the social aspect of eating--she tends to eat more than she "should" which really is still not very much but nibbles--when we are in a social eating situation. She came up and gave me a big hug so I rocked her back and forth on the bed in hopes to get things moving. . .and her Jbag came out and all over my nightgown--my only one I brought! SHE FELT MUCH BETTER and we were able to vent J to where she felt GREAT! She continued to dump all night and woke up with FLAT BELLY!

So all day we listened to Jonathan Park (which I had never heard all the way through--and am enjoying it greatly), KJV Bible on CD--listened to Elijah today. It reminded me to be quiet--and look for God in the stillness. We listened to some fables and very light music. Tulsa was easy to get through and now we are on the western tip of Oklahoma City--Yukon!

We saw BIG skies with even BIGGER clouds ALL day, ostrich farm, wonderful cows of ALL sorts of sizes and colors. I so wanted to stop and photograph, but have one image in my head--can't wait to be in Placitas, NM with UB and AV to vist, rest, make, and be in a very quiet place. Precious people. We'll be staying with a REAL BOY SCOUT and ARTIST--in the beautiful state of NM.

So tomorrow the kids are excited about a warm breakfast before we leave and not so excited about even more miles to cover than today, but the prize at the end will be more than worth it.

Tonight when we arrived we discovered a pool. Immediately, the kids want to "GO" to it--I said a firm "NO" to Olivia and she was fine with it. I think she'd rather not blow it (trip) over a little pool. So, she at the water's edge sang out directions, drills if you will to her dear little fish of a brother.

We have been very blessed to have seen only 85 has the highest on the gauge. It limits our being able to do anything too creative with so much perishable in the "rental"--so it will be nice to be stationed for a bit--to explore.

To JESUS!

Monday, June 16, 2008 6:45 PM CDT

Another action packed day. Full of seeing people we know unexpectantly was fun although--I have to admit I'm feeling so socially inept from being overly exposed in the last few weeks.

David and I both succombed to sharing a Coke together something I VERY RARELY do and he almost never does--so that added to the whole strange feeling to the day.

We have our rental and ready to start seriously packing. It doesn't have the largest of storage, but like I said to David, by the time we have Carolyn and Grandma in the car we'll have gone through a lot of Olivia's supplies! :)

I cannot believe that in just a few days I'll be looking out into a different landscape. I know my mother and artist heart is longing to feast off such a platter--only to make coming home all the more rich.

Violin was a stretch for me, but David stood up and did his best--even with that NASTY soda flowing in his veins.

Sunday, June 15, 2008 9:14 PM CDT

Dear Friends--

Would you please pray for traveling mercies for David, Olivia and me. Also for Olivia to stay "clean" with no UTI. This plagues me at times, I know I should not let it, but it is something that can be a problem. No fevers, no UTI, no CVL situations--a blanket of protection over Olivia--David and me.

To God be the GLORY!

Happy Father's Day!

Feel like life is in HIGH gear--in slow motion. Strange!

Friday's art set up went well and Saturday's art show was amazing. I really was overtaken by my precious students' work, their families and all thoe wonderful folks who came out in support--and didn't even have a child's work in the show! It was by far the most interactive.

My Upper Elem Girls Art class did a skit--about Impressionism several times. It was educational and fun--it added so much to the show--and not to mention the two flute students!

We managed to still play a Family baseball game last night--it has been a regular event--one that David is delighting in--with great expectations of playing next spring. It was fun because Papa was here--it brought back so many memories of my childhood--and his playing with Greg and me--working with us on baseball. Happy FATHER'S DAY--PAPA! Charlie ALMOST fetches the ball for us--ALMOST! Silly dog! HE loves playing baseball almost as much as we all do.

Olivia looks a bit dry, but we gave her a fluid ball, and will tank her up again tomorrow.

David has a pretty normal Monday with swim, violin and scouts--he and I will pick up our healthy snacks and hit the library.

Tuesday NO WHERE--I PRAY--so I can finally get the packing complete--

and EARLY WEDNESDAY WE are off to St Louis--to visit with Grandma and Grandpa!

OK, I'm really replaying the schedule out--and really I need to just rest--rest and more rest.

TWO day until the BIG ADVENTURE!

Thursday, June 12, 2008 11:48 PM CDT

After a dumping night--O felt much better today. It is such a blessing to see her body bounce back--even if it means mine doesn't get sleep. That is what is so great about naps. It seems there has been a lot of up in the middle of the night so the last 3 days I've gone back to my cave and rested--into that weird very deep sleep.

The kids painted under the pine tree today. David finished his portrait of Charlie which is adorable. He said next he wants to paint "Patchie-Henny Penny" --this is encouraging because usually I have to give him suggestions, but he is on a series of his own making.

Olivia painted another "Big Lips" especially for the art show. She said she has to have one each year.

While Miss Aberlyn and I worked on art show stuffs the kids played under the other pine tree--in the sand box. It was hot today too, but Olivia really looked great afterwards. I thought for sure she would be wilted, but her
energy was twirly and happy all day. It makes me wonder how she'll be in a week. For purely pleasant reasons, I pray for good belly days.

Last year at Oley O was so distended, but really held her own.

ART SHOW PHOTOS as soon as possible.

To Jesus!

Wednesday, June 11, 2008 8:07 PM CDT

A T-shirt stained with J leakage tonight. She is worn out tired--don't quite understand why. Praying there is nothing on the horizon other than an art show and a hosptial free trip.

So it is off to bed to listen to Black Beauty while I prepare TPN.
Will have a different night tonight--have been enjoying the nightly walks--one night Olivia talked of getting in a boat and sailing to Mars.

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

David's last day of testing--so thankful we do not have to get up each day and be somewhere at a certain time each morning. We all enjoyed it, but I'm so glad we can stay home tomorrow.

ALL day home day.
TOMORROW.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008 10:03 PM CDT

The days are now down to a specific puzzle and each piece is vital to the overall plan!

I'm so excited to see all the childrens' work at the art show. It is a very special show as one of the students has graduated. It was an honor to be her teacher for the last 4 years. Looking forward to Saturday and spending time in fellowship! If you are local please come--email me if you need more details!

Then there is a few other pieces, visiting our Bennett House friends on Father's Day-- Papa coming to pick up Charlie, who has a BRAND new FUR CUT and Mr. Wings. Mortie has been visiting us as well--so I bet she'll be glad to be back with her white haired man (Papa!). So after Sunday, the house will be remarkedly MORE quiet.

Yucca is blooming and the moon is waxing.

We've been playing baseball at night as a family which has been a lot of fun--brings back wonderful summer memories to me, but not something I'm ready to cave into with David. HE SO wants to play, MAYBE next year, but I feel like our lives will be signed away for the spring and summer.

One week before the Great Adventure of '08!

Saturday, June 7, 2008 11:46 PM CDT

Thursday's dress rehearsal was EASY compared to today!

Olivia has grown increasingly more distended and when she didn't "dump" last night we knew it was going to be problematic to get a dance costume on without stains of leakage.

LEAKAGE!

I took her J Tube out 15 minutes before we had to leave. It is one of Olivia's LEAST favorite things to do--she has fear it will not go back in--J Tube is the GOOD one--it is G Tube who likes to NOT go back in--

So, there she leaned over the garbage can--pressure relieved a bit.

The dance folks were very kind to let me take O to the bathroom to change her costume--well, really just tights.

Back on stage for tap--she was sore and not as pliable but she did it!

I loved watching her skip out onto stage.

Now she can wear her dance outfit and twirl to her heart's content!

This week is a hodge podge of many things--

David's achievement testing, violin and swimming lessons, art show preparations are under way--Scouts, oh my--and then the PACKING!

Thankfully, TPN orders, supplies, etc. is all set. I'm so looking forward to the ride. Seeing our beautiful country, dear family and far away friends.

We rejoice in what today was and the mountain which was climbed. We give thanks to God for His tender mercies.

So thankful that Colyn was home for his sister, Brittgirl's graduation from high school!

And that God's Grace is given abundantly to even a wretch like me.

I want to soak in that.

Thursday, June 5, 2008 10:59 PM CDT

She did it.

FLAT belly--NO leakage!

YEAH!

Wednesday, June 4, 2008 9:44 AM CDT

Bites of food and a flat tummy! Her congestion lingering, but her distention is gone--for now! We are so thankful.

SHE is very anxious about the upcoming dress rehearsal and Saturday's recital. Millions of people will be watching. But now it is more about "messing up" rather than leakage and distention--Whew!

Fluid balls and kitties on the hip--that would be O today!

June 4th!

Wow.

TO Jesus

Tuesday, June 3, 2008 6:40 PM CDT

Olivia is not feeling her best. Her congestion has led to distention.

She is also having massive amounts out of J-bag. Normally, I'd take it all in stride, but with this DRESS rehearsal and DANCE recital coming up Thursday night and Saturday night--it doesn't bode well.

She did eat a bit tonight, something she's not been doing too much lately. No prefered foods right now. Makes me miss the "egg days" of times past!

She plugs along despite it all.

Dave and the David Boy are also very congested and knocked out from the allergies.

Pressing on!
TO JESUS!

Thursday, May 29, 2008 11:24 PM CDT

Please pray for Colyn. He is at a crossroads right now. Very concerned. Pray that his body will "reset" and pain will fade away. And please pray for his parents and siblings. Heavy hearted.

My family gone.

With great expectations to accomplish so much, I find myself rattling around the house just as Charlie and the Kitties do--wondering where and what our family is doing.

Decompressing.

Realizing that there is so much to do each night--nothing that no other parent would do with excellence, but still it is there to do.

So many parts of them everywhere--when home I would call for them to make these parts disappear to their rightful home, but now I rejoice in such details spread about these places.

David called me tonight to give me a weather report, to tell me how much he loved me.

I've thought about this boy a lot today. So, it was a joy that he called while Daddy was doing TPN (I could hear that familiar pump beep of priming the line) and Olivia was already asleep.

How could it be? I always tell David he made me a mother. And Olivia taught me how to be a mother.

How beautiful and how wonderful--is God who would give ME--such children?

Sleep well children.
~~~~~~~~~~~

Oliva's central line looks SOOO much better today! She is having a lot of congestion.

We have major winds here so not sure what that means for later today.

Miss MARSHA--please send me your EMAIL address--and/or phone number.

Please pray for our dear ColyninCalifornia.

Charlie enjoys having "Henny Penny" out more than anyone.

It is funny how David and Olivia have no problem "renaming" animals around here. Patchie is now Henny Penny only because I called her that a few times and probably too because I bought a CD with lots of old stories. Henny Penny, Three Little Kittens, Mother Goose Rhymes, AESOP'S Fables, and all sorts of little poems. One of the stories is about a little girl who likes to be dirty. That would be our Olivia. David and she have been enjoying playing under the pine tree with their toys. There are some major plots!

I'm in a patch of blue. I LOVE to travel and looking forward to June, but another part of me is a bit sad leaving Dave, home and all behind. I know there will be much awaiting us and clinging to that. Really want the kiddos to play as much here at home in their space before we leave. Once we are in the car--I'll have a CAPTIVE audience!

With Dave taking the kids this weekend to his folks' house--I really need to get packing and organizing supplies, figuring when and where to have TPN sent, and get a list of hospitals from here to there--where ever THERE may be for that night! Exciting, yet a bit undertaking--so thankful I'll have safe places along the way to rest.

On a medical front there are several concerns--just concerns, not full blown scares. There is the ever changing central line site which still doesn't look friendly. Matter of fact, it looked not nice at all tonight. So, I'll be emailing photos of that tomorrow out to my experts!

Both children have had ticks. It has been a bad season for us GOOD season for the ticks. I have to admit I went into clamp down mode when I saw one on Olivia (yet again) on Tuesday. Keeping a very close eye on the bites.

Hoping for some quiet regrouping time this weekend while David and Olivia get Grandma and Grandpa time!

Friday, May 23, 2008 10:48 PM CDT

Tuesday

David swims on Tuesdays. Dave usually takes him which frees me to ready for art classes or work with Olivia. Today I took David to swim class. He has learned so much this year! Dave has been taking him to free swim which really has helped Dave with his back pain and David get's more practice with Daddy time. All good.

End of year has approached and although we've had a good year, I still don't want it to end! I do believe we'll stop "school' June 12-August 13. But O will need refresher work on math, both will continue in their reading and music. I think I'm going to make a summer notebook for them to have completed by August 13th.

Olivia has been very prolific with her art this year. She is now working on an abstract quilt with the sewing machine. I'd love to hang it when she is finished.

David has been checking up on Phoenix on NASA's website.

I'm gearing up for a weekend without my family here. Dave and I tag team it. I really would like to visit with Dave's folks and take the road trip with them, but I know I need to stay here and start packing for BIG trip, ready for ART show and winding down school and making the summer notebook for each.

Could not sleep, silly Izza was pawing at the bed--she is so much a kitten still.

Side note from Monday. . .

We actually had a day in which we could mow the lawn! I was surprised bunnies weren't living in the grass it was getting so tall. David showed interest in mowing so Dave gave him some pointers on the hand mower. He did that for a bit. He also rode the mower on some easier parts of the yard. Slow speed, ear plugs, and had the same face he has when he is playing violin--very serious and full of responsibility. Olivia said her brother looked so much older doing this work.

David is ready for some new challenges. I think sometimes we as parents when we feel it is time--we let our children advance on recreational arenas rather that responsiblity. Growing here will only continue to build a great foundation.

Monday--Memorial Day~

We just plain out miss Daddy when he isn't home.
Some weekends it just feels better to NOT be here when he isn't. So we took advantage of that on Sunday. After church we came home to regroup before heading to Louisville. I had received a call from Frazier Historical Museum a week ago inviting us to the farewell for the Henrietta Marie exhibit. We walked into another world--a cultural feast. We toured the museum just the three of us--with no time limit, it was wonderful. Then we got lost and found our way to Doll's Market which made me miss Aunt Becca--but found fun desserts and good food before heading over to the Planetarium for a LIVE NASA! We got to watch, hear all that went on behind Phoenix's arrival on Mars! At that point O was hard down sleeping in the seat beside me, but David and I really got into it--and woke Olivia up just in time to see all the cheers from NASA.

Last week our sweet Goldie hen was killed by a coon. Since then David and Olivia have been giving Patchie major attention. Olivia has Patchie sitting next to her as I type under the pine tree.

We have enjoyed a peace filled Memorial Day. We will have a family dinner tonight in honor of all those who give their life for us. I can't even imagine. . .

Looking forward to God's Amazing Grace tomororw.

Friday in May
This morning arrived earlier than usual for this house. Olivia and I took David and two scout friends to the National Cemetery to place flags at each gravestone. It was a beautiful morning and great experience.

Memorial Day. I pray that Americans will dig deeply into their patriotic hearts and ponder this day.

~~~

A great week of school.

David playing in his first violin recital.

He was UP on stage, had no idea what to expect as we had learned about it on Monday! He did wonderfully. He is an intense violinist already!

I love this; I was goofing around one night, Daddy mixing up the medicine. Yes, he still gloves and masks up--I on the other hand don't for anything. But it makes Dave feel comfortable. One determined Daddy.

One of the biggest blessings for me this week was talking with Mrs. Bell. We met a few years back at a NS conference. Her darling and Olivia hit it off--we are praying they'll be able to meet up with us in San Diego for Oley's conference. Out of the blue (to me) and with the best of timing.

We are in almost full swing for our trip WEST.

St L with Grandma and Grandpa DeKold (we hope to get there early enough in the day to have a nice day visit!)

Oklahoma City

Placitas, NM with Uncle Bill and Aunt Vangie (4 nights there!)

Phoenix, AZ

SAN DIEGO where we'll meet up (praying so!) with Grandma Lodgie, Uncle Greggie. . .and drum roll please. . .Miss Carolyn Ann! Olivia gives me the biggest squeezes and kisses when she thinks about having Cousin along; she tells me she'll be CA's big sister. HOW I remember those feelings of my dear cousins.

Tonight I asked Olivia if she was ready to see her friends at Oley--and she said, MORE THAN READY!

!

To Jesus.

Friday, May 16, 2008 4:51 PM CDT

Rookwood Pottery

Running to Krohn's Conservatory

Inside Krohn's Conservatory

Walking Charlie in Eden Park

Brother and Sister

Olivia

Again, Olivia

Friday, May 16, 2008 7:18 AM CDT

Pushing on through--MAY 16?

With David at Papa's the house is strangely quiet. We do however have Papa's Mortie bird visiting Mr. Wings. I thought it would be fun to let them be together for a bit--trading a bird for my BOY! :) Fun!

David and Papa are doing what they do.

Olivia and I had a delightful day yesterday. Slowly working into the day we priced some old school books and then dressed for her "dance pictures". Talk about stressful! The costume is tight so it presses on her tubes which then in turn leak which then in turns makes little spots on a very light colored garment! IT was rainy which added to the mix. It was something to endure for sure. The space there is WAY too small. There was a woman pointing and touching Olivia's central line which was on her side--saying what is this here for, etc. BUT we made it through--did I already say that? We'll do the recital and then look for something a bit less. . .to do for exercise. O loves the costumes but the practices are getting a bit too much. We can find an alternative.

Olivia's main comment was--"It won't be the end of the world" IF she got leakage on her costume. She keeps reminding me that God looks on the heart.

But afterwards we had a BLAST at the homeschooling curriculum fair. I had a friend invite me to share her table--I don't have a whole lot of stuff, but O and I priced several books. She set up the table and had fun selling. It felt like fresh air after having been in the dance space. I had fun talking with folks I've not seen in a while--and it is always a blessing to see my art students.

Happy BIRTHDAY JOSH!

(smile)

It was JUST what I needed. Many of you had sent me emails encouraging me. . .I felt like I was in the lone dark valley for some time--but things seem to be brighter today even though it is cloudy and rainy.

Off to the library with the girl. We'll have breakfast out (her best meal) then go set up art work at the library.

Again, many thanks for your prayers always, I give thanks to God for your faithfulness as friends.

To Jesus!

Wednesday, May 14, 2008 10:54 PM CDT

I've always been a procrastinator. Those things which are unpleasant to do. The interruptions of good every day living life brings out the best of putting it off.

We were late (yeah, 2 hour drive in pouring down rain WILL do that) and were then pushed to the last of the appointments in the morning. It was rather funny, how each nurse made sure to tell us--but we just kept on having fun, drawing pictures on the big paper on the exam table, hang man, and mini school worksheets. We ran up to our GI floor to tell them we may be late. It is comical how one group can be SO different. How far we've come with GI, the amount of respect, the sense of family, and deep care.

Urology was very anti-climatic, but I'll give Dr. Jackson major gold stars for coming in and captivating Olivia. She had Olivia answering in complete specific answers right off the bat. Not too many people can do that. Dr. J's warmth is real and she is an amazing person as well as Doctor. We'll just up the Furadantin for now with other things pending. She agreed that keeping the bladder decompressed (just as we do with the stomach and small intestine each and every night) has helped with O's voiding during the day.
There is also a debate/discussion as to whether we should even treat for UTI, the bacteria may be a good thing--whereas--it could be a bad thing for a central line.

TPN clinic went well--O has grown in both weight and stature. We'll see them again end of July along with a renal ultra sound.

Nurse Gerry did a dressing change on Olivia's central line and clipped off the stitches which were still hanging on and making for a not so good looking site. I'm SO thankful she did it and I was not the one to tackle that. I know I can, but it was painful--one big gulp of a tear down the cheek and onto the shoulder was the proof.

So, Gerry doesn't have a kid at home with G and J tubes, ileostomies, CVLs, TPN preparation, etc. She has a way that "gets" the picture. In rehashing our Urology appointment with her she knew exactly what I was saying--just because something works for one day--doesn't mean it'll work tomorrow, or the next day. And just because Olivia looks good and gained weight, she is still this kid that is one of the kids that has to go to clinic every 6-8 weeks.

It is that same ole thing of living in the between places.

I praise GOD for the in between places.

We don't have to be in the hosptial a lot, yet we do have a lot going on for Olivia on a daily basis, there is no skimping--no skipping TPN, dressing changes, cap changes, pouch, changes, no NOT putting the cath in, no NOT giving medications, not ordering supplies, emptying bags--

And yet, she for the most part can be a part of normal activities even when it takes more out of her. She and I have been talking how to advocate for herself more when she is out there among the masses. That it IS all right to do your own thing which is best for you. She sees and feels the differences when she is among her peers.

She and David spoke to it last night before we prayed. I just laid there listening to their sharing hearts. David encouraging, Olivia revealing--

Listening. . .

Monday, May 12, 2008 8:21 PM CDT

Wednesday we drive to Cincinnati for a very full day of clinics. Nothing on the top of my list, but we will be meeting with a new doctor regarding Olivia's urological disorder. A new situation with a new doctor can be a bit stressful for Olivia. We'll have to prove to the nurse(s) that we know what we are doing in regards to cathing. The long tedious story of how we even got to this clinic--the tests, all of it--I have to be honest--I'm already feeling prickly.

The upside to it all is that we'll see Cincinnati and am hoping to stop by the butterfly exhibit at Krohn's Conservatory before heading to Papa's to drop off David for a few days.

I'm homesick for somewhere--maybe Heaven? Feeling so out of sorts, out of pocket, out in space.

Maybe it is the clinics this week?

Saturday, May 10, 2008 7:28 AM CDT

Mother's Day

In reflecting upon such a day--I have to honor my own first. I'm so thankful that my mom is not just my mom, grandma, but the greatest friend.

So thankful for a mother-in-law who is supportive of all that we do. Like my own mom, I wish we didn't live so far away from each other.

Last night at the Bats game (which was a blast), I sat next to my Dad and we were talking about life. As soon as Dave swung by to get Olivia--I seemed to relax. Baseball games with Olivia are incredibly stressful. It is all about obsessing over food for her. The smells, the sounds (noise), all of it--"amps" her out and is just too much.

Realizing too, that if Olivia squeals, yipes, yells, etc. I'm on HIGH alert and my mind races to the worst possible scenerio. It never used to do that, but lately I've been tightly bound to that thought process.

Then the circle begins--more and more uptight I become--frustrated and just miserable.

So, I'm thankful that was all revealed to me over these last few days. And last night to be in the tent with David--was pure relaxing fun--lots of boy energy bouncing around, but I didn't find myself tied up in knotts inside.

I think the last two "holes" in the central line really played a number on me--and Olivia. If I say something matter of factly, like, "oh no" she immediately thinks there is something drastically wrong.

Back to mothers--last night there was an announcement about Kentucky Mom's Group--The promotion was something like--"come together and meet other mothers like YOU!" I laughed and said outloud--"I DOUBT IT"--not really refering to Olivia, but in general.

The mothers who really win the award in my book are those who take their child to the hospital and stay until it IS time to go home. No private agenda, but what is best for their child. Keep on--Keeping on. Making a special way of life--right where they are. Sickness or feeling all right--keep on keeping on.

So thankful that Miss Hannie is home and MISS MAYA! Praying that Mother's Day will be filled with very quiet special moments.

And to those Mothers who have a child (or children) in Heaven. For your loss is so great, please know we love you and continue to lift you up in our prayers.

Natalie's FunRaiser is coming up. www.caringbridge.org/ma/natalie

Seize the Day!

Friday, May 9, 2008 8:18 AM CDT

Ah--
a day to recover is always a good thing.

Olivia claimed that now she doesn't have anything wrong. There seems to always be something which has a glitch--worn out skin around a G or J, sometimes around ileostomy, central line thises or thats--UTI, etc. Little things really, but enough to be a source of concern. She is relieved to have a good working G tube.

She is content with turkey sausage EVERY morning.

Tonight is baseball game with the minor league team for Reds. I've never been, and although I grew up at Riverfront Stadium--loving baseball--a rainy chilly night at a baseball game isn't too appealing! It is scout night and David and I were going to pitch tent and stay there while Papa and O come back home. Dave is working. David and I would be home in the AM before Dave heads back to work. Not sure if we'll spend the night--I am saying NO--if there is a hint of rain.

SO we shall see.

Time for School--O is the first down--David is slurpping his cereal down while reading.

Rainy misty day!

Wednesday, May 7, 2008 10:36 PM CDT

Sweet Olivia.

That G-tube HAD to come out as it had a hole. She's nursed it along since Sunday. Today at the library she kept lifting her shirt to "fix" things--it was time.

She wanted to do it herself. Kind of like (not anything like it to her--or those with tubes, but for those of us without tubes) bandage. TO RIP it (or in the tube's case Yank/Jerk vs. Twist and Pull slowly) or slowly pull.

After drama on both of our ends I think I helped it along and she was surprised that it was easier than it felt it was going to be.

But then came the replacing. Her G stoma is tight--and a tight fit, had to dilate with her overnight cath a bit and barely got the 14 French in (She had a 16 French). She knew exactly what I had to do--and for the most part could do it, if push came to shove.

96% of tube replacements is not the actual taking out, but--WILL the new tube FIT back in. . .we've had a few hard times with that and tonight was starting to be one of the hardest, but I'd say it came in 3rd.

Her cry is different. More mature, more knowing. No one likes pain and if you can not have it from removing and replacing something in your stomach, then, well--let's not do it. I wish I could say it is a Kid Thing, but hey--you didn't see me pushing to switch it out.

Daddy came in to help with the final stages, and David boy--the silent helper--flashlight and peacefulness.

And afterwards O and I cry together, talk it all out--and the cord just becomes thicker--stronger and, well--there.

That is how the day ended, midway we discovered Ferdinand was dead. Olivia's hamster who loved Olivia and Olivia loved him. She would take him outside and for rides tucked in her shirt. We buried him, David wrote a poem and his little grave is covered with azalea flowers, white. David made a cross for Olivia to decorate with more flowers, needless to say we didn't get to math today. And Charlie is wondering where his little friend is as well.

So today I heard Olivia's cry--both times very simliar, very sad.

And a new word for David today was lamented--he was to read a passage as such. How appropriate for today.

!

Wednesday, May 7, 2008 6:59 AM CDT

Olivia is using the sewing machine now! Mrs. Smith taught her the basics and she loves it! So excited.

Clinics are both on Wednesday. I had the wrong date!

A home day today--looks like rain, would be nice for all the baby plants.

Monday, May 5, 2008 10:19 PM CDT

After I captured Olivia from her dance class we had yet another fast shop at Meijer. This girl can get right to what we need and out of there. I let her do the scanning and packing while I paid. She is such a super shopper chick!

Her food of choice now is turkey sausage and oranges! YEAH!

I promised a bike ride for us girls while the boys were away at Scouts. (David's first patrol meeting was tonight!)

I didn't think she would -- could go far, but that girl pumped and peddled up AND DOWN the hills--I reminding her to coast and let her body rest when coasting but no--she kept on racing to see how far we could go. We went past "Black and White Kitties" house. This kitty we've been watching for years--looked pretty worn on the white parts, but talkative nonetheless. I taught Olivia that "photo ops" are allowed--and a valid way to say you need a rest--although she only took two.

So tonight while I'm praying that gift of a miracle flooded my veins. Never could I see this far away six years ago, and never did I think it could look this good. I love the real normal life Olivia opens me into when I am struggling. I do believe it is God working in her tender spirit.

She is scheduled for two clinics on the day of her dance pictures. (DANCE PICTURES? WHAT?) Now, I know why I can be controling over schedules. We'll keep the early AM Urology appointment and hope to get a Dr. K clinic a week later. Will mess a bit with the "schedule" but--I can already see major benefits!

Warm windy weather.

Good for the dry cold bones.

Thursday, May 1, 2008 8:47 PM CDT

Olivia had one of the best days today.

David is in a major asthma/allergy flare so he slept in today which gave O and me some one on one. We did over an hour of math, doing all sorts of things. She sat in her little pink rocker her Aunt Lynn painted for her a long while ago and worked at the chalk board. It was wonderful.

She and I ran to the grocery together where she bagged all the 'stuffs' better than I would have.

While at the grocery I commented that having a pouch (Olivai put one on me yesterday while I was resting!) makes me feel somewhat special, different in a very unique way. She agreed that it did indeed make her feel the same way.

She has been delighted that I have kept it on for this long. I told her it was getting ITCHY--and she assured me I could scratch it to relieve myself.

This helps me to do every once in a while--to keep things in perspective, to have an inkling as to WHAT it MAY physically FEEL like.

Daddy home early enough for the first time, literally in months to take a bike ride/hike with the kids.

All good.

We ask prayer for Miss Millie and her newest baby to come within the next 24 hours. For our other friends who have returned from a far away clinic with answers, but a hard travel and Miss Maya who has been detained for TOO long in what some call CLUB MED. . .

God's mercy.

Grace,

Love and

Goodness.

Monday, April 28, 2008 3:56 PM CDT

David is officially a WEBELO!

We are so pleased with his work this year in Scouts, swimming and in violin!

Olivia is at dance class now with Grandma. It is a lot of hard work for her, but as long as she wants to do it--she can. We keep telling her she can sit down if she needs to rest, but she claims she canNOT!

Watching her yesterday among the other children--she is a tiny mite with spirit.
It really is amazing to watch the run to and fro with all that is underneath her shirt.

It is such a strange balance. To keep what is hidden almost hidden in a sense--to not become what makes Olivia, Olivia. It is hard for basic human nature to not label her as "the girl with" - I mean--it is pretty bizzare thing, right?

Having tubes coming out of your body permanently? Catheter to feed you? Bag to collect your stool and urine? Things you hear of of the elderly, of people hospitalized for a time, but for life?

And how do we look at someone like Olivia? How do I? How do I continue as the time rolls on. . .prepare her for supplies, her immediate care, her long term care, her. . .being. . .a little lady.

This is why, I have to rely on my God. Some may call it a crutch. But having been lost and far away from the immediateness of a Living God. I know He Lives for what He has done in me, a new work, a work in progress a work which screws up immensely (almost daily), but nonetheless, He provides a vision of Truth, Power and Knowledge that this--is not it. There is more to come.

A time to come, a place to come--where all of this will be such a pity to have even spent time over--as long as Olivia is intact with who she is in Jesus. Created by Him and for Him, for all His glory.

THAT takes a lot of my back.

Saturday, April 26, 2008 10:54 PM CDT

Boy Wonder is pretty messed up with all the pollen everywhere. It is that light dusting of yellow green which makes it hard for the boy to breathe.

He pushed through it all and planted his vegetable garden today as well as a few more flowers in his flower garden.

He and O both have a flower garden which was started a few years ago, it is divided by a piece of drift wood from the Falls of the Ohio. Now that we have a fence between our neighbors and us we extended the garden a bit. It is lovely.

O planted as well, but was tired by the time it came to vegetables.

Full great day.

Dave still at work at almost midnight. He has long days and nights.

Tomorrow is David's Blue and Gold Banquet. Excited to see my boy turn into a Webelo.

Growth.

To Jesus.

Thursday, April 24, 2008 8:23 PM CDT

Keeping a good pace.

Today was the long awaited Louisville Orchestra concert--the funny part was I thought they were playing something other than they did--but we did hear and see a remarkable violinist--playing Schumann. We had front row tickets which meant we were up front and personal with the end row of violins. Fun! So many wonderful memories flooded once again. We picked up a new musical term--cadenza! Talk about WOW! But I have to admit Tchaikovsky had the violins working just as hard in my opinion. I THOUGHT we were going to see Tchaikovsky's ONLY violin concerto! HA!

The kids sat well through it, although O got antsy during the last piece--I was a bit too--could not wait to hear the last movement--it was well worth it!

Olivia isn't eating much these days. No more eggs and I have to say, I'm a bit saddened to see that phase end especially after her special "antique egg making gift"--but she hankers for red beef meat.

She is drinking water still, and tasting food as much as she can. I am finding that she is a finger dipper more than anything. She has a great way of making it look like she is eating more than she is. Olivia loves to taste food. I pray that she will always be able to nibble and taste.

Tomorrow is another full day to the Frazier Arms Museum. I have my older art class meeting me there--so kids and Grandma and I plan on hitting it a bit earlier. That way Grandma and D and O can go off and enjoy during art class.

Sunday is David's Blue and Gold Banquet for Cub Scouts! He will be a WEBELO next year! He has worked hard this year on many outside projects.
Leave No Trace and he also completed God and Me (OK, you grammar folks--we KNOW it should be GOD AND I!) --He had high hopes of finishing Conservation, but he can work on that over the summer.

Blue and Gold is always a great time--the boys in their uniforms--so excited about the fact they are with their friends and doing good stuff.

Next week we'll buckle back into the school week with a day trip to see some of Southern Indiana with Grandma Lodgie.

We are praying for Jerry's family as Friday and Saturday are going to be hard days. Final, but yet--with HOPE!

Hope in Jesus.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008 5:46 PM CDT

I feel like we are in a fog--from being physically active, sunny days. . .finding sleep, loosing sleep.

The day after O's birthday Grandpa Jerry's mother went to Heaven. She had slowly been declining in health. She was 93 years old. She will be missed greatly by her family. Please keep her children in your prayers. . .especially our Grandpa Jerry.

Grandma Lodgie will stay here. She is only to be here 2 weeks.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008 1:33 AM CDT

It is way late. Later than I should be up, but I must remember today.

April 22nd is a special day. It was 6 years ago that Olivia Blinn at the age of 2 years old had major surgery. She was a malnourished beautifully articulate girl.

Today was a miracle. As every day is--isn't it for all?

It was divided by girls and boys.

We girls shopped for the Blue and Gold Banquet this Sunday evening. Grandma got Olivia a pink balloon with helium. Which at that point in time felt right to make mention (Grandma had already) of what a special day it was. We then ate a nice lunch and picked up soil.

Olivia and I spent the BEST part of the day outside gardening. Granted she scooted on her scooter and rode her bike, climbed the pine tree and washed her dolls and their clothes. Grandma told stories of my childhood to O. How she loves that and I am realizing how old I am that I cannot remember a lick of it all!

Dave took David and 3 other scouts to a retreat camp and did some work. The boys had their day for sure. So thankful they were able to do this--and on a beautiful day.

Lots of good outside play, learning, growing times. We had a snapping turtle visit our yard, robins are everywhere and well, it is all feels like a spring day.

Tomorrow AM pancakes. Anxious to use one of Olivia's birthday presents from my parents dear friend--a PANCAKE (or) EGG circle.

Truly, really. . .everything that is good comes from God.

Monday, April 21, 2008 12:03 AM CDT

8 years old.

Both kiddos are dealing with the stuffiness of allergies and lack of good rest with all the excitement of Grandparents and Birthday dreams.

We hunkered in yesterday. Celebrated Olivia with a very quiet special day.

Thank you for all the sweet messages on the guestbook, email and snail mail.

Everything good comes from God.

Friday, April 18, 2008 7:40 PM CDT

What an emergency this past week seemed to be. The sudden change in Olivia's motility really caught us all off guard. She had a great day filled with sunshine and laughter.

We stopped by a local park "Secret Park" as it is known here in the DeKold home. No one was there and we walked along the creek and I showed her how to skip a rock. We were. I listened to her and she me--life slow.

David with is Papa. Tomorrow is Reds game and Grandma Lodgie flying into Louisville.

Olivia is excited for her birthday, for the fact she will be 8 and of course gifts.

When we got home from our time out, she jumped on the scooter and rode with Charlie right behind her. She had her hamster with her who fell asleep in her shirt. Priceless little pictures.

She is beautiful. She is growing. She took a shower without my help and fixed everything afterwards. She has been practicing unhooking. I think along with that we'll work on dressing changes.

After doing some last minute shopping for her birthday, I called Dave and told him what I found for her. New rainboots, umbrella and small ironing board. We were brought to our knees this week (I know I was) and although we've not slept through the night in a week or so. . .(do we ever?)--

I rejoice that there is a birthday. I am so thankful that she had a flat tummy.

And that she ran, played in the sunshine. All the day long.

Thank you, Jesus for your tender mercies are new and real.

Thursday, April 17, 2008 8:51 AM CDT

SPUNK.

UPS and downs, ROUND the corner to?

I'm so THANKFUL for God's leading. Last night, David, Olivia and I were all snuggled up in her bed while David finished reading to us all. Olivia was like the big puffer fish in the abdomen.

We all went to bed and around 3 AM I awoke from an awakening dream. I have these from time to time, no one has called for me; it is protection!

I got up and O was wet, not from her pouch leaking, but from around her jejunostomy stoma. Heartbreaking!

She was so big and leaking around those edges, but still nothing coming out of her tube!

Waiting, praying. . .found a website about a little girl with Pseudo Obstruction, read it--feeling helpless--night time fears prevailing--

and Olivia called for a towel under her--it was too much.

Dave now awake at 4:30ish and he on board with taking out J tube and letting it vent that way--

SO THANKFUL we did. She had a great attitude about it all, we joked and she sneezed a few times which shot drainage onto me--cleaned her up, put her in David's bed (as he was with us) and folded up all the mess and Dave took it to the washer.

We all went back to bed, except Dave.

Dave was up for his day at 4:30--helped with taking out a tube, heard him empting the dishwasher, did some laundry and off to work.

Talk about team player.

But to the best news. . .O was the first one up--then David and now me--I walk out to hear her standing by Mr. Wings singing to him. Her belly is NO LONGER scared puffer fish, but more moderate, copeable, doable, and she is relieved as well.

We'll wait and see regarding the urine sample taken down by Dave last night. (Thank you!)

We read about Mozart last night. In this book, it was said he may have had some sort of kidney disease; he died mid thirties. Olivia and I talked about why he died so young, and then it turned to her. So thankful for the unnatural ways in which keep my daughter alive.

God knew exactly where and when she was to be placed.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008 5:38 PM CDT

Day two of not eating. She is pretty miserable, big, coping and dealing--she and David are on the deck. . .

Thankful for sunshine.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008 8:13 AM CDT

4 more days. Olivia has taken to journaling each day. She was writing about her birthday yesterday, and wrote about Papa's dull (doll pane) pain the other night. It is precious writings.

Yesterday we coped. Without sleep and being distended and not 100% Olivia stayed home from all and rested.

I met up with my art group at the Frazier Arms, so thankful for the help I received from GOD. He sustains me.

We will need a few more days of good night time sleep that is for sure.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008 9:17 AM CDT

Whoa.

Talk about TRAIN WRECK! Last night Olivia hit the wall.

We had a full great day with a Keepers/play date meeting, then Dance Observation and then O and I were called to lead the Tigers' den meeting.

O hit the wall and hard and was in pain pretty much until 3 AM. Everything GI wise inside stopped still has, but no more pain. She woke me at 3 AM to tell me she didn't hurt badly anymore. I had been waiting to hear that from her. We slept in the big bed where I would rub her foot and back. She even vomitted several times, so could be a nasty UTI brewing.

Halt.
STOP.

Today was another fun day (pre O birthday) but it is all on hold and she'll stay home today from Frazier--her art field trip. I'll go without my two as Dave is off.

It is supposed to warm up so hoping she can get on her bike a bit today--to start things working again.

This is a huge month for Scouts, O's birthday, not as big as it has been in past years as I've learned some lessons. I still have some things to get ready and anxious to have Grandma here.

David is in the big bed tickling and playing with his still hooked up sister--good medicine after such a grueling night.

Mercies in the Morning.

Sunday, April 13, 2008 8:31 AM CDT

Every morning comes "Mama? What is the date?" Yes, a birthday is on the horizon, can be seen from here.

I never had a birthday party growing up. For us it was always choosing our favorite meal, a cake and a present. I think one year a pick up truck delivered 3 adorable ponies. Another year was my beloved black lab puppy. My parents had a very unique way of giving gifts--the kind which last a lifetime (I hold memories of such animals close to my heart). But today, it is different, not placing a judgement here, but different.

Mom had baked a cake (this is a family joke) and Greg came in asking whose birthday it was!

I never felt wanting for anything, except a saddle, but a saddle on a little pony would not have been right. Not on my ponies!

But this birthday Olivia will have a Grandpa and a Grandma here, she'll get to choose her meal, what games we'll play (being the younger one sometimes she opts out and rather play along side while we all play), and she wants to watch her favorite DVD (and mine!) The WALTONS! Sounds like a very much needed family, home and celebration to me.

Olivia's care right now is so non intrusive during the day. The evening is different because nothing can NOT be done and after living a full day and having lots of activity, the BIG PUSH can be your basic, hard!

Hard only because maybe Mama and Daddy are old and tired! That happens.
I find though that it is a ritual, dance which takes place every night. It is a Hokey Pokey kind of dance--

Put your right leg over put your right leg back, roll over on your side let me get your Cline--hold still for a moment while hooking you up really fast and that is what it is all about!

You need a pouch you say, why didn't you tell me earlier today?

Clean tape for your tubes and Ilex under the disks, new J pillows and meds still to come.

We do this every night and it is what we do. The New Natural!

Be blessed today. It is gray here, but oh is the Son shining inside!

Tuesday, April 8, 2008 11:34 PM CDT

Olivia has been so active. Bike riding, tree climbing, art class, friends, helping here at the home nest--she really is taking off.

Medically speaking I have no major concerns. I love how her arms and legs are filling out which is a GOOD thing with her being the TPN and Lipids that she is--she better be putting on some weight.

We have been in a different school mode and will continue on through next week (talking to myself here--) with field trips. I'm all for getting out and riding bikes, working in the yard if it is nice, so it is a great incentive.

Lots of fun things planned for the next couple of weeks, mainly 19th is Grandma Lodgie's SHORT 2 week visit. She'll be in a day before Olivia's 8th birthday.

8! She has in 6 years come so amazingly far. When I think back to her coming home from the hospital after her life saving surgery, TPN, two tubes, PICC line, and an ostomy--oh yeah and being cathed every 4 hours.

I was reminded today when she came walking up the driveway holding onto her Jtube which had popped out--she went inside and cleaned herself up--I gave her a new one and she put it in. No tears, no freak out zone, just matter of fact did it--had the syringe with water all ready to go.

It is time for her to practice with the syringes on her "cap" for unhooking TPN. I think unhooking TPN is the place to start and I do believe she is ready. Her knitting has been a great way for her to exercise her fine motor.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

One picture I will never forget, one of last March when O had been sick with flu and hospitalized. We came home she and I, opened up the window and laid on the big bed--listening to the Spring birds and feeling the Spring breeze. I never want to forget that--how it brought tears to us both, the Grace of God shown in the basic simplest of God's creation, how powerfully He moves us--forward.

God's tender mercies. I can't sing enough of them. How He brought me from a dark dark cave and into the bright sunshine--to stay. There may be rainy days, and the clouds hovering, even threatening, I know that my Redeemer lives.
Onward.

To Jesus.

Reduced to Tears.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008 7:09 AM CDT

Good to be home, but we had such a nice visit with our family in the St Louis area. As you can see they have a hill as well and the kids and I took a hike down it two times. The first was much more intensive as we made it down to the beautiful rocks and creek. The kids were in awe. They hadn't remembered taking this path before. It had been a long time.

We were able to hit the Science Museum and Planetarium while we were there as well. David so loves being with family (O, too, but she is different about it all) and was so down trodden to be heading home.

We have had spring here and it has been relished.

Olivia seems to be in full energy, just overall great health.

When I stop to think about her and how far she has come--how well she is doing--I do see our daily miracle with her.

They both had a blast at Scouts last night--playing at the little playground while we adults talked. We spied Mars, Orion and Big Dipper last night. The sky was clear.

Looking forward to dry, clear days.

Tomorrow we are off to retrieve CHARLIE from Papa's. Wanted to take a day--tomorrow is it--looking forward.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008 7:50 AM CDT

Olivia has been feeling great. She does run down a bit earlier and it is sometimes hard for me to remember all that she has going on--hard only in that she makes it hard as she is such an energizer bunny.

Last couple days have been pretty jam packed with preparations and regular stuff like violin, scouts and swim for David and O's dance. She loves it but commented on how hard it is--the jumping up and down!

We are all packed and ready to head WEST. We are looking forward to visiting with family and some rest away from the house.

Soon we'll be heading WAY WEST with STL being our first stop, sleep over. My dear Aunt Vangie called yesterday in priming for this trip. Was amazing to hear her voice.

God is Great.

Monday, March 31, 2008 8:48 AM CDT

SPRING BREAK--RAINY DAYS!

The anticipation grows for our visit to Grandparents this week!

The Bennett House was a good time. When we arrived there were 6 or so folks waiting for us! The kids and I then knocked on the doors to invite them out to join us. It is always a very humbling experience to look into their spaces, their pain, loneliness--I could not stop thinking about Jesus' ministry on this earth, walking among the weary and sick! We met a few new gentlemen friends who eagerly came out to hear the Good News.

David commented when we knocked at first door that he felt stiff--(meaning shy)--but with encouragement he opened up and definitely did when it came time for him to play piano and violin, announcing each piece with poise and confidence. I sat there thinking back--3 years--as to how much he has grown--still a work in progress (we all are) and how far he has come.

Before we began Olivia could not wait, she asked if she could get into her bag of tricks--which is her knittin's--so she handed them out to each and the men were a riot, joking and laughing--it just was a great time!

It was the first time where I felt relaxed and allowed the kids take charge, deciding the "order" and because we sing the hymns almost daily, it was very natural. . .so it was all good.

I received THE best Sunday call I've had in YEARS--My niece, Carolyn called me. Auntie Sheila is what she calls me. I am so thankful for the closeness we share although a continent away. She began by asking "How is Olivia and her tubes" and many other questions pertaining to that theme, then "How is David" and how much we miss each other. How she wanted us to come to her house so we could be a family! The kicker was how she said "Grandma Lodgie is a BEEEUUUTEEFUL woman" and that she has

"HEART JUICE" for Grandma Lodgie, and proceeded to tell me how much she loved and missed us all, etc. We spoke about school, life and our plans for the summer. I can't WAIT to see her. She is such a loving girl, with an imagination that is filled. I look forward to more such phone calls; we usually video chat, which is nice too, but the phone was directed more on our communicating with our words and not with our faces, etc.

There are times and this past week has been one of those times, where the distance between those loved ones feels so far. I'm so thankful that although the distance may be far, the love isn't. A true gift from God. He sure does know His Sheila!

We then visited with our dear friends in the valley. I would to ask for traveling mercies, doctor discernment and overall protection for this family as they travel to FLORIDA for their son's "clinic" appointments. They've been in the chronic illness life much longer than we have been, a totally different scene, but yet there is such a similar thread which stitches our friendship.

A busy fun next couple of days--preparation for Pack Meeting tonight at Scouts, David finishing his CHICKADEE bird house that he and Daddy have made, violin lessons, swimming lessons, dance class and oh CHARLIE's VET appointment on his BIRTHDAY!

Olivia seems to have come out of her ostomy situation of which I'm so thankful because last time we were in STL she was experiencing it. I may have to take a urine sample in while at Grandma and Grandpa's, but we've done that before and "we" are in the computer. . .and it is the start of a WEEK, not a weekend--so I feel pretty comfortable with all of that. Having a great support team, nurse, DR, homecare company--who all work together is

PRICELESS (well, really there is a cost ticket to it all, right?)

April arrives--Praise the KING of KINGS!

Sunday, March 30, 2008 9:47 AM CDT

So thankful for God's Day of Rest.

Grandpa Jerry's 93 year old mother, Virginia, way out in California is having a hard time eating. We pray for God's will to be done and may she be surrounded with His Loving Hands and have God's peace.

Doing things which I would want others to do to me. If I were housed in a place in my older age and not able to go anywhere, I would love to have children come sing, play and talk to me. It is such a simple thing. So today after many months of NOT visiting Bennett House we will head down to share what we've been learning, and praying to touch them with God's love and peace. Going to have church with these precious saints!

Dave had such a late night last night. It is so hard when you cannot go home until any situation has been rectified. He got in in the AM and left at his usual early AM--he is one of my dearest heros. I awoke next to Olivia with his emptying her pouch before he left. He could have easily awoke me.

I do believe I am a bit tired. Many nights in a row of having sleep interrupted has caught up with me. I can't imagine what Dave must feel right now!

So thankful he has Monday and Tuesday off! I know the kids and I MISS him very much.

And oh yes--this is a TWIRLY DRESS! That was a must! I believe she'll wear it again today!

To Jesus. . .

Saturday, March 29, 2008 6:23 PM CDT

The opera was wonderful! A great Biblical message to be had in music.

A blessing.

We are having OUR spring break next week! Excited to visit Grandma and Grandpa and anyone else we can see.

The kids and I hit the library today to get some CDs for the trip. I'm looking forward for some restful times.

Home church tomorrow as we prepare for some ministry time and fellowship tomorrow.

ALL to Jesus!

Friday, March 28, 2008 8:53 AM CDT

ARTS

A great gift was given to my friend which she has decided to share with me--we both are in agreement the gift did not come from a man nor a woman but our Heavenly Father who loves us so much!

Lord willing tonight we'll be going to the OPERA! We have for months, years (?) tried to do something like this and finally God has paved the way.

Between Greg and Keesha and David's violin lessons and my playing flute at church and constantly listening to the classical station, or playing/teaching the kids old hymns or praising God through worship music. . .I feel that music has grown to be something much more than it ever had been before to me.

Classical music was something I awed over, appreciated but never understood. After watching MTT's Keeping Score, which Greg so thoughtfully gave us one Christmas, it opened up the door for enjoying the music. The music always spoke to my heart, but now it is very relational--yes, I can feel that way (May not have been what the composer meant, but isn't it the same for the visual artist--?) Classical Music is now one of my favorite things to listen to while driving, (KEO even suggested that I should conduct--and I told her, IF I could make a "wish" it would be to conduct a great orchestra!) FUN! OPERA!

Music is JUST one avenue to connect with Dear LORD JESUS, it is one way which I praise Him, Worship Him through the words sung, but having played the flute, not from music on a page, dictating WHAT to play, but to make SOUNDS to Him through the flute, or strokes of paint onto a canvas to tell Him--my fears, the record my tears, to rejoice in today. . .

May it all be a glory to Him.

Thankfully, I have artists coming today--who want to paint in oils, but also who will contribute to the art filled day. . . .I must play my flute a bit before going as well. . .or I'll ache for it!

How silly, but how marvelous God makes each and every one of us--our unique qualities--inside and out. . .medical or not, singing or weeping. . .

I give it to Jesus.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008 8:16 AM CDT

March is RUNNING past us. Time is a funny thing. Days and weeks, months and years--there is not stopping them.

We are in the throws of making trip plans for here and there. We hope next week to visit Dave's family outside of St Louis. His parents live on a hill, not like ours, but beautiful just the same with deer and turkey visits almost daily. It is a nice time for me as I can relax and be nurse and let Grandma and Grandpa enjoy the children. St Louis has one of the best science museums and attached to that is their planetarium which is the best I've ever seen. It will be a great refresher, review from our astronomy unit we did last year.

Olivia on the medical front is doing relatively well. I could focus on the tiny glitches and go nuts, but I choose not to at this point. I still need to set up a follow up with the urologist and set up next TPN clinic as well. TPN clinic is easy as I just email the nurse, I may ask her to wrestle with urology as well.

The other day I had been out and I walk back to see Olivia lying on the bed holding her G tube. It is no longer the huge ordeal when one comes out--I get a new one and she pops it back in without any tears or fears. But both have been giving her some trouble until I just slipped the disks down a bit more and POOF--all is well--no more leaking. THAT is one thing she does put her legs up and give me a good fight about--is the disk deal. She is so afraid I'll push too far and pop the balloon out again. But it is an age thing for now as she always says afterwards--I wish I'd let you do it sooner, kind of thing.

Life can be so constant, can't it? Day here and Days there. I go for days without asking Olivia if she needs something regarding her care--she has taken over a lot of what she needs which doesn't require a sterile procedure.
Which is good but also, I find Pseudo Obstruction will give me that reminder that things really aren't what they seem to be on a given day at a given hour.

She was so happy to be wearing her Easter dress. David refused to dance with her saying he didn't know how, Daddy and I danced with her and later AFTER her dress was off David danced a bit. She had PJs on and her shirt got caught well above her tubes exposing it all. I loved how she didn't feel embarrassed and continued to do that "This is how I am made" kind of thing.

It is good. All of it. God has showed me I can plan my scope and sequence for school, but not look into the future regarding Olivia and what the plan is--for they are His plans. He already has it taken care of--completely, just as He has for all people and has for all the ages.

Pressing on with Jesus.

Saturday, March 22, 2008 8:53 PM CDT

May all who read this have a blessed Easter.

Up from the grave He arose.

Jesus.

To Him.

Thursday, March 20, 2008 9:26 PM CDT

O and I had a day. Hair cutting for us both.

I think she is so excited about Easter; she insists she and David will dance after church in their clothes. Don't know what David thinks of that. Will be good to see Papa and Dave's folks later this month. A good drive away from the woes of house keep and daily regular school stuff.

Our crocuses are up everywhere--spring--also, so reminds me of my grandmother.

to Jesus. . .

Tuesday, March 18, 2008 12:28 AM CDT

We are well.

O has snapped into place, still awaiting results from the sample taken in on Monday afternoon.

God is faithful. So True and Good.

Sunday, March 16, 2008 6:54 AM CDT

Olivia is back to having that "look" and "feel" about her. She thinks she may still have the UTI.

She has been off for a few days now, not feeling her most exuberant self. She curled up and listened to Jonathan Park yesterday late afternoon.

Letting her sleep today. We'll stay home today and have church. Dave is working today.

If you would join us in praying it is NOT another UTI. . .too soon after having been on antibiotics.

Thank you for your love and concern.

Saturday, March 15, 2008 8:30 AM CDT

We had a very eventful week catching up on promises.

Olivia had anticipated a sleep over which we did (all). In true Olivia fashion she went ALL out and insisted on being the first up in the morning, and first to fall asleep on the car drive home.

She was spent for a few days, but I think is back on track today--dressed and ready to head out to dance.

First some kid music before we leave.

To JESUS!

Wednesday, March 12, 2008 7:41 AM CDT

March is racing past.

We seem to be up and running although Olivia now has some congestion, nothing major, just enough to keep an eye on her.

We are recovering from the sick house and Dave working double duty on another project.

I feel encouraged!

To Jesus!

Friday, March 7, 2008 10:02 AM CST

Wild WINTER Weather. I don't see the 10-12 inches which was predicted, but it was enough for me to reschedule art for another day.

David awoke with horrible coughing last night and vomited. AND today he is fevering again. He is afraid to eat. He usually gets sick like this once in the winter. I know he has been praying a lot. Told me yesterday he was so glad to not have the fever anymore. Well, it is back.

Praying for some relieve.

Dave was called away early in the AM. Will be a very long day for him. SO THANKFUL TOMORROW has been canceled as we ALL need some FAMILY home time.

He takes care of us.

Thursday, March 6, 2008 8:42 PM CST

Our Boy is back, not 100% back, but enough he wasn't bed bound the day long.

Olivia enjoyed a day with Mrs. Teacher and friends. She was elated to be released from the house of sick.

Two more ABX and we'll get a sample to check the urine.

She looks and feels great--THE Energizer Bunny. . .for sure.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008 4:10 PM CST

David boy is pretty sick. Olivia is happy and well.

So we are just hanging tough. . .

Tuesday, March 4, 2008 8:23 AM CST

Please watch video

www.caringbridge.org/wi/zachsam

MANY of our dear friends are on this video!

Donate BLOOD!

Monday, March 3, 2008 4:15 PM CST

Today was "off", thinking about Anne and her Sam a mother's loss of her son.

David is not feeling well--the weather is back and forth, up and down, but to be a boy outside yesterday was important, just as today's rest was. He has been enjoying his peppermint in the humidifier.

Sunday Olivia was still hooked up to TPN and they both were pleading to ride bikes. I pointed out the fact that she was hooked up and David looked at me and questioned me. Not in a defiant way, but hey, wait, TPN, yeah, but can we ride our bikes. No limitations there.

David received mercy today from not only me, but another.

He and I came home to Olivia ready for her "make-up" dance lesson (having missed the last two). She was increasingly growing in a crazed excitement. So, Daddy got a chance to see Olivia in action. She so loves her dance class.

Her antibiotics are going great. Her Pharm called at the EXACT same time as Cincy's Urology dept asking how it was going. O loves the baby IV bags we put the ABX into. I have to admit (we are weird here) they are awfully cute!

Press on--even when it rains and the house is a mess.

Friday, February 29, 2008 3:55 PM CST

It seems February as as whole has gone in such a different direction--each week not as "planned" and thankfully we've had the flexibility to "go" as needed.

I can't even begin to say how incredibly humbling it is to have this in our life, folks who are willing to say, "it is all right--and know that I'll keep my end of the deal." I have had to cancel art more this year than any other year and still folks are so faithful.

Awaking to what I thought was going to be a Knitting day ended up being a medical drama day.

Olivia has been flaring, distended (NOT her gross distention at all), just overall "off" for her. Wednesday when we left the hospital she felt bad and even had a low grade while at clinic.

Turns out after receiving a call from urology (since they were the ones sending off the cultures) that she has a UTI. I'll not go into the volley of words which took place between urology and Olivia's mom here. Needless to say, it was frustrating and really unneeded.

I called our Nurse Gerry and she returned my call and all is well.

We are off to our local hospital to give the first dose of her medication.

It is easy to sit on the situations of life which are unpleasant, misunderstandings which can be blown out of proportion, having to restate the obvious and eagerly await the verdict. I know that in my flesh I could nest right there, but in counting one's blessings it surely puts a fresh outlook.

1. Home--we are home!
2. David and Olivia are able to be home together, in their regular routine.
3. Dave has a GREAT job which enables him to be a great provider.
4. Dave and I have our health.
5. Dr. K
6. Nurse Gerry
7. HOMECARE COMPANY--GREG
8. Prayer Friends
9. Weight and Height Growth in Olivia
10.Family who supports us.

The Blessing of the day is. . .despite the medical distraction we were able to have a productive, FUN day! David made pancakes and CLEANED UP afterwards, when I came in from being on phone call #? the kids were sitting doing their work. . .Thank you, Jesus. Thank you, Lord

I declare to all who will listen--it is HE Who Made ALL things who every great gift is from HIM--all good comes from GOD.

We continue to see our miracle within our family.

Again, Thank you for continue fullness of care.
Tears.

Thursday, February 28, 2008 5:29 PM CST

Happy Birthday Brittany! You can see Brittany on the PHOTO page.

Olivia is in a flare. Has been since yesterday requiring fluids all day, leakage around J tube, which is a mess, and just overall not her perky self.

She got good fluids all day for which I'm thankful--we are down to one decent pump for tonight. We've had pumps (two in one night!) give out with their screeching long sounding alarm. Gotta have a pump!

Having some shipped to us tomorrow.

We are very thankful for the answered prayers. Another thing I don't think I mentioned was that we are not due back to Dr. K until May!

Still waiting on any results from urology. We'll probably have to get up there before May for an appointment; we'll see.

Spring is COMING!

Wednesday, February 27, 2008 4:22 PM CST

Both there and back seemed to only take just minutes today.

Olivia did well with the urodynamics study and now we remember she had this same study in 2002. Child Life was there and really helped along the way. I didn't have to ask if I could put the catheter in or anything--very laid back and easy going!

TPN clinic was EASY! Probably one of the fastest since no labs were needed and we'd already done a urine culture during urodynamics.

Answer to prayer! Olivia gained 5.06 lb since December! Nurse Gerry helped David set up the problem and he did his first multiplication with decimals!

And she GREW in HEIGHT as well.

On our way to the truck there was an adult pianist and three children playing violin. Thank you, Jesus. David so enjoyed it and getting to see how they hold their bow, violin. . .all of it. Good.

Home again home again!

Olivia is tired. It was a big day, stress during urodynamics, etc. But we are home. . .and it is only 5:30! That is record.

Snuggle time.

Thank you for praying with us regarding Olivia's growth and our safety today.
A precious gift from God.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008 6:43 PM CST

Well, Olivia's long awaited UROdynamics study has FINALLY come. We'll double up with TPN clinic and hoping to HOP over to Art Museum or Krohns Conservatory.

The kids are HIP HIP HAPPYING as I announced 'no school' tomorrow. I'll take
_The Giant from the North_ with us and they'll draw--they were very happy with that!

So thankful.

It is snowing; traveling mercies!

Monday, February 25, 2008 7:37 AM CST

It is such a gift to be home.

I never want to take it for granted. Nor do I want to take for granted being able to travel to foreign states of this great land, but for now, I'm content to be home.

Olivia insisted on going to church with me yesterday AM. She had a great day with her cherished sister friend and I being able to worship with my flute--a great release from last week.

This week posses as a great lesson learning week. There are deadlines looming all about David, mainly. He expressed that he wanted to be in the Sci Fair--any Sci Fair--so we started him on that journey only to find Dave's last month to be consumed with work and then last week's interruption. They are determined to give it their best shot--then there is the Pinewood Derby for Scouts, and today is THE day their art work must be shipped out.

Dave and I have come to the agreement that we need to start all such endeavors a month in advance which can be hard for procrastinators!

Olivia bounces back so fast, but the fact that we were misplaced out of our home for 3 nights and then first order of business is not to do this or that, but to rest so we CAN get back to the business at hand.

I have tried in my own power to put things back together without proper rest and that is about as good as starting the day without asking God to help me.

It was such an encouragement to hear from so many people and to have so many come to Olivia yesterday and "touch" her--it is powerful.

It isn't just through the hospitalizations (which are for us routine) but the every day stuff. . .

Thanks for not getting "sick" of us!

So thankful HE will never forsake us or leave us!

TO JESUS!

Friday, February 22, 2008 4:33 PM CST

Last night Olivia had amazing energy. Still dry coughing and misses her brother so much. I'd send her to dance today if it weren't for it being flu season.

So today we'll go to the art room and make more art. Daddy is running up to bring David back home. The boy will have square eyes from so much computer time. I bet he and Charlie will not want to come HOME!

~~~~

We are HOME.

We had an "ON THE BALL" nurse today. Heard one more "rounds" this morning with Dr. Cohen. We call him the bow tie doctor.

The ice was not a factor and the ride home short. Olivia played with her two new Pollys whispering to herself.

The journey was uneventful until we arrived home to nothing but a beautiful sheet of ice covering everything. Just getting those last few feet to the door were a challenge.

Hoping to retrieve David from Papa's tomorrow. Olivia said today the only thing missing now is David. She is lonely for her brother's play.

I'm a bit out of sorts, having napped for 2 hours and trying to redeem the day.

Trying NOT to think that next Wednesday EARLY we head back up for UROdynamics study and then TPN clinic.

Pressing on. . .

Friday, February 22, 2008 5:53 AM CST

We will be sprung out of here this morning. Olivia is still sleeping and the night nurse set the TPN for 16 hours! WHAT? SO, we'll not be out of here until after 10 AM.

I am so thankful for this machine--macbook pro that my Brother gave me. It allowed Olivia to see her Grandma, Papa, David, CHARLIE and dear friends last night!

Her little friends read to her last night!

It was so nice to have them here with us!

TO JESUS!

Thursday, February 21, 2008 12:12 AM CST

Everything is going as planned, except the weather radar is showing PINK (ice) predicted for our area--it is a good slice of pink too.

We'll be released tomorrow AM if Olivia continues to be fever free, no growth in cultures, etc.

The Doctor just asked me if I always smile. I'm just so relieved that O is doing all right. She is "sick" that is for sure, but not warranting our staying here kind of sick.

Papa emailed me that he and David caught the Lunar Eclipse. I could not find a window and it is such a hassle after hours to go down and not sure I'd want to go outside at 10 PM.

Again, thank you for your faithfulness.

Great is HIS faithfulness!

Wednesday, February 20, 2008 11:35 AM CST

Dear Friends!

Thank you so much for your faithfulness and prayers!

ED (emergency department) was only 5 hours! That is RECORD time for us.

It was a rough transition from ED to ROOM since she had been sleeping.

Everything is negative and temps are hanging around 101.+ but Olivia is comfortable. Watching hospital TV and painting. She is a tired kitten that is for sure.

The plan is as it is always to wait 48 hours for the culture to come back negative. I asked if we could go home even if she is still temping and that is play it by ear at this point.

She has a wonderful nurse right now and found out that GI kiddos have been moved (again) to a different building floor. The GREAT thing about this is that the PLAY ROOM is the one O loved before they moved GI kiddos to the last building. So, although it looked pretty bleak last night coming to this building/floor and not knowing. . .the morning's mercies are abundant.

As is His Love.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008 5:06 PM CST

Just waiting for Dave to return so he can grab David. He'll be taking David up to Papa's house for a few days as Olivia looks rotten and temping to boot.

We had to reschedule Papa's house due to weather. . .now David, Papa, Charlie and all the kitties can have some time--OFF.

It is cold outside and driving to ED really is the last thing. . .in my rotten stinking flesh that I want to do.

If you are reading this--please pray ED will be a gentle process and she'll be in a good safe clean room on the floor ASAP.

The next 10 hours are gonna be big ones.

O needs rest. She looks pretty miserable.

Thankful she has her "blanket". . .

To Jesus!

Saturday, February 16, 2008 8:10 AM CST

Olivia is doing so well. She continues to eat fried eggs every day and work hard in school.

Olivia doesn't have clinic until February 27 at which time she'll have a uro dynamics study prior to TPN clinic.

My prayer to Our Father is that Olivia has grown.

Thursday, February 14, 2008 6:15 PM CST

H*A*P*P*Y Valentines D*A*Y!

WHAT a DAY! (Olivia would then chime in with "What a Day it will be--when my SAVIOR I SHALL SEE)

After a plumber coming out and giving an estimate of $1500 for a kitchen sink which seemed clogged, backed up--and taking some advice from a friend. . .of HOT water--guess what--EVEN after all the time last night Dave worked on the sink, I worked--today--our PRAYERS answered!

I have my kitchen back!

What a sweet gift today. A victory!

The kids have been in high anticipation ALL day over tonight seeing their Daddy who is known to bring home SOMETHING for Valentines Day. And having felt so in the dumps--(slowly catching up on sleep from the last two weeks)--I packed the kids up and fell into the whole V-Day trap.

The kids were elated to find a tray of cupcakes all decorated--PERFECT for Daddy (and for a kitchen which was yet out of commission)--who has been known to sneak STORE BOUGHT cupcakes in the house from time to time (EWWWW!) plus, David so carefully chose silk roses that say "I love you" for me--he assured me he understands I like real flowers, but they'll just die.

I love them! So, the table is set with two candles, fire in the fire place our favorite 90.5 classical on--kids dancing, awaiting our celebration.

Waiting for the Bridegroom. . .

Come, Lord Jesus.

Come.

I Thessalonians 4: 15-18

15For this we say unto you by the word of the Lord, that we which are alive and remain unto the coming of the Lord shall not prevent them which are asleep.

16For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first:

17Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord.

18Wherefore comfort one another with these words.

Thursday, February 14, 2008 6:37 AM CST

Valentines Day--the kids received valentines from Grandma Bert, so cute! Olivia's card made me cry, then my Dad sent cards to Olivia and me. His card to me really got me. Life's circle. God fills that void of a daughter or son growing too old to sit up in the lap--with Grandchildren!

Wow!

Olivia never walked. When she became mobile she ran. Always. As if she was afraid she would miss something.

Yesterday she had so much energy. Even after walking David half way to Matthew's house and running Charlie on the leash. She was so energized.

Last night I called for her from the basement and I heard her RUNNING across the upstairs and boom.

She came down with tears (she rarely cries if she hurts herself she tends to hold them in). Later during dressing change, and YET another pouch change (been going through pouches A LOT) she said her stoma hurt. It was swollen and a bit darker.

YIKES! We've not had any stoma issues, skin breakdown, but nothing wrong with the "strawberry"--so we talked about the fall, etc. and in her wisdom remarked, "There is always something, as soon as one thing is better another thing happens, I had skin breakdown, now this, before I had J tube breakdown and a new central line" and now with tears she continued to sink a bit.

David was reading a book about Lewis and Clark to her. Explaining things as he is studying them right now, he was so dear and patient.

But this morning at 7:15 I heard a stir and went in to tell her to stay in bed and rest a bit longer. I checked "strawberry" and all seems well.

Time to really start the day, Olivia's pump was beeping and would not stop. I just went in to check on her and it stopped. That Snickle clamped her LIPID line so I would come to her. Smart cookie!

She usually unhooks the lipids every morning. I told her to NEVER do that to her central line; "I WOULD NEVER do that"--she has great respect for CVL!

Now to await the plumber for our tired clogged kitchen drain.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008 6:46 PM CST

Snow day. February has been hard to jump start--a new month, different feel to it.

The snow and ice was beautiful this morning; the children had time to play in it this morning along with our beloved Charlie dog.

Tomorrow we'll head to Papa's but will make a stop to wish someone special Happy BIRTHDAY!

Celebrating God's gifts to us.

Monday, February 11, 2008 5:45 PM CST

Cousin Nancy had her Paul Joseph! And David and Olivia have their snow--ice? :) It is WHITE!

Thank you, LORD.

Well, finally it looks like we'll have snow.

Today when Olivia's antibiotics were delivered by the med-ex lady--she assured David he would have a snow day tomorrow.

David took that and ran with it when we closed the door.

We have 1/2 of an inch as of 5 minutes ago; David has a ruler outside and is measuring every 30 minutes or so, keep a close eye on the radar as well.

Time to put the pouch back on Olivia. She has had skin breakdown around her strawberry--stoma--something she's not had in YEARS!

We are awaiting my cousin's birth--her first--so excited!

Thursday, February 7, 2008 7:17 PM CST

A day out, O did fine. The library.

Good stuff.

Special, the day I married the dearest man.

When I think of that day--the snow--all the family that came from afar, the drive up the hill--all of it.

How I wish we could have such a celebration again one day.

Tomorrow is my dear brother's birthday.

And Saturday we'll have a family celebration of our years together.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008 5:37 PM CST

No more dizziness, but now O has her infamous "ostomate" difficulty which had been a nemesis early in January. It makes her uncomfortable in all ways, but I'll preserve her privacy concerning such things.

But despite that she conquered her school work. Pedaled ever so slowly at times, but made it to her destination.

And with yet outrageous storms again last night--another night of bizarre sleeping patterns.

Early bed tonight is in order.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008 11:09 AM CST

Well, Miss Olivia is still pretty down and out.

Keeping her on fluids and quiet times. She has been having dizziness.

Spoke with her nurse and am awaiting to hear back from Dr. K. to see if he wants anything.

It is a rainy day and awoke this morning with a boom from thunder and Olivia awoke, but she and I slept another 2 hours (I can ALWAYS gladly sleep) which was so needed for her. It about drove Izza nuts with O's door closed as it is never closed. I think she tries to wake Olivia!

So February has a different feel to it. I don't want spring; I'd love a big winter snow. It feels bumpy, February does. The groove since Grandma has left hasn't been found yet. And with Olivia being off last week and again this week doesn't help. Maybe the ride is a bit bumpy right now--I can be slow on how to change the course of action. I try to push (my way) and then God redirects His daughter--gently--and off we go again!

Lord guide our steps, order them.

Monday, February 4, 2008 5:38 PM CST

Having had a full weekend, Olivia is spent.

I could watch Olivia from the window at dance class on Saturday. What a great thing this class will be for her, helping her with coordination, memory, movements, and having a great girl time!

She was mostly excited over having received her SHOES!

With the fullness of this past weekend and those who made it so special-(WE THANK YOU!)-today Olivia barely wanted to get out of bed. So no laundry for her! She did school on the sofa but did manage to come with David and me to lessons.

I had a moment this early day that almost gave way to worry--O felt a bit warm, but she fluctuates so in her body temperature with the environment.

As I hear Charlie snoring behind me, O in her room readying for bed with Dave and David off to Scouts, am so thankful for yet another day in my home surrounded by the creatures that live here and my dear dear family.

Home. HOME! I love being home.

But. . .this world is NOT my home!

YEAH!

Thank you, LORD!

Friday, February 1, 2008 9:18 AM CST

FEBRUARY!

Olivia had such a great day yesterday--no more daggers--she went back to laundry--(although she needs to be MORE patient with the dryer!:)

Thank you for your care.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008 10:40 PM CST

Olivia had a hard day with "daggers" as she said. This kind of day is when I am so utterly thankful to be home schooling.

(That in itself is such a God notion, because IT was so foreign to me)

Starting out as a normal day, but on her return from the basement she was hurting.

Knitting and Amazing Grace.

If you have not seen this movie--I highly recommend it. Amazing Grace has been our hymn of the month and we've been reading a bit on John Newton and William Wilberforce. I love how all this fits together, but Olivia immediately took to Wilberforce and his ailment as I took to John Newton and his "ghosts" of things past.

Lots of parts from which to draw and take back from a day in which much could have been stolen.

Oh my! WHAT?

So, Olivia rests, thank you dear friends who prayed for her today.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008 8:46 AM CST

Monday afternoons after school is when David and I have time out and away from the house.

Olivia stayed home with Daddy and when I returned she had all the laundry caught up!

She came walking up the stairs on Monday claiming she was "Grandma Lodgie"--she has taken over the LAUNDRY!

It is AMAZING. Couple this with ALWAYS being up on time, taking care of all her morning chores; it is SUCH a MAJOR help.

So yesterday I had art and O had sewing. She was so distraught since she hadn't worked on her sewing in some time. She had the iron up, ironing her quilt squares and loves to IRON! SO I showed her how to iron other things.

Then she is determining when to run the dishwasher! LOVE IT!

Meanwhile, she continues to eat 5 friend eggs a day and grapefruits. We don't know if she has grown or gained but she great energy (to do her school, plus all the chores around here!)

Last night we had a good wind storm blow through and with it a cold front, which made for a spring like storm. We lost power for 2 hours which was a bit nerve racking in regards to. . .TPN in a fridge, bird in a cage sort of thing.

Late start today--but we have ALL day--I didn't sleep well with TWO kiddos in the bed (that storm factor!)

Bless your day!

Saturday, January 26, 2008 11:13 PM CST

SO glad to see Miss Marsha around. I've thought about you often lately.

Yes, O is in a very picturesque mode for sure. . .

Love to all.

Saturday, January 26, 2008 7:40 AM CST

I see by the date that January is almost gone. It has been such a month of growth and well spent time.

After Grandma's 'drop off' at the airport the kids and I headed to the Speed Art Museum. We had a quick lunch which was such a treat! I see their love for art growing, more so the appreciation of it which is such DELIGHT!

Later my art students met up with us and they did 2 good drawings. Hard work, concentration, discipline; we got a lot of comments on what great kids they are. I take that for granted as they truly are, GREAT!

Olivia had knitting afterwards. I looked over at her, hands busily working--she sat with her mouth turned up in a slight content smile. It was such a picture! I would have thought it was a Renoir painting in the making.

David Boy reading about Lewis and Clark. Now, there is a study. Greg had given Dad the Lewis and Clark DVD set and David watched both with Papa and Olivia and I only the 2nd DVD. All I know is the 2nd DVD was excellent, full of real life stories, told by people who have such a connection. You just knew who was going to break down at the end (historians, writers, etc.) from telling this story of Lewis and Clark. Giving a more intimate portrayal by far.

Today Olivia will wear Miss Miranda's dance gear to her first dance class. (She took dance once before, but it wasn't a good experience!) She so wanted to take dance again. Praying it will be good for her physically as well as emotionally. I dreamed I put G and J buttons in so she would not concern over her "lumps"--she is in such a great season in regards to NO distention--I pray this is God's healing in that area. It is miserable and hard to see, and embarrassing for her as a young lady in the making.

Thank you for your continued love and support.

Thursday, January 24, 2008 3:42 PM CST

Olivia's line looks so good. It just fills my heart with such joy to look at it and see it healing nicely.

Another wonderful day. We completed all needed before noon--(tomorrow a full day, therefore time needed for kids to be kids. . .brother and sister play)--

Grandma helped to move it along, but David can make his own oatmeal and Olivia her own fried eggs. We are entering that level of home schooling where the fruit of labor, in any direction starts to show.

After completing all their work I gave them the afternoon to play--the big room by the fireplace is filled with Polly Pocket houses, Star Wars, castles, doll house furniture. . .4 hours worth. I love it.

All with the "Best of Handel" playing. . .

and they will stop their play and sing along. . .softly.

!

YES!

Tuesday, January 22, 2008 8:21 PM CST

I wrote January 22 several times today. The first time it was like a dagger.

How many years have passed since Sarah was called home to Heaven?

I remember her often as anyone would of someone who helped deliver your baby girl, or one who pondered the hows whys and whens of schooling our own, being a mother, being a wife, being God's. . . A dear strange friend--and I say strange because we only were face to face a handful or more times--she was the person I had babies with. . .I miss her.

Olivia popped out of bed yet earlier than the day before! How can it be? She has now mastered the fried egg. David oatmeal which makes for less "work" on that end for me.

Today was a great day. And in thinking of it, I know Sarah would be so proud of how I teach my children--just as I was of her. . .

Art house today--with extra time with friends. Olivia was extremely happy to be sitting around the table--click on DeKold and the link for wwart to see O's beginning portrait--it is, cute. No doubt about it!

Just 2 more full days with Grandma; it is time--Grandpa Jerry is so kind, we will miss her greatly. . .I do not know how the house and all that is done by her will manage.

Dressing change tonight. I could not stand to wait another day and Olivia was relieved as well. It still looks good. The catheter looks so big--6.6!

My baby _IS_ growing up. . .

Monday, January 21, 2008 7:44 PM CST

Ah,

Pseudo Obstruction days.

Olivia got through the morning with tummy aches, but she did eat eggs for breakfast. Tired a bit or something, not quite sure. Things look par for course, nothing out of the ordinary--ready for Wednesday night so I can do a dressing change on that site.

We are keeping her hydrated. And amazing enough she snapped back to finish math and English with FULL stars--which also meant-listening to Jonathan Park with Grandma. (Carrot dangling)

David and I had our time away and with that a stop over to dear dear friends. What a wonderful way to end the day--what sweet fellowship.

Leaning on the Everlasting Arms.

Tomorrow we start back with art; O's group--David has several projects he is working on--on his own. We read about the NEW Seven Wonders--

Here are David's SEVEN Natural WONDERS in USA.

Grand Canyon
Crater Lake
Yellowstone National Park
Yosemite National Park
Lake Superior
Mt McKinley
Death Valley

I tried to sway him a bit with the Florida Keys and maybe Mammoth Cave, but he'd have nothing of it. I'm thinking a trip to our dear Kentucky this spring may be in order.

All had "reasons"--"stats" if you will, but for Yosemite was clearly because it is beautiful. . .(and the only he has seen in person--several times) Yosemite to me has always been like a gallery of wonderfully made mountains.

Made me miss my Uncle Bill and Aunt Vangie.

To Jesus. . .all.

P.S.

If you'd like to tell David your Top 7 NATURAL USA Wonders--just email me!

Saturday, January 19, 2008 7:46 PM CST

We are all in a low mode of pacing ourselves. It is how we recover. Even when we "could" go and do this; we opt to NOT--it helps in allowing little bodies to recoup from not just maybe a physical drain, but emotional as well. It has always been our "way" of coping. Not just little bodies, but older ones as well.

Olivia's site still looks good, some drainage (expected) and she was active this afternoon, evening which was nice to see her up and about. We just can't get over how much better this line FLUSHES--it is SO smooth and clean--beautiful! BIGGER TOO (I know I'm repeating myself!)

It is very strange having a new line in the house. Having to check the site, and being extra full of care regarding no tugs, etc. I feel like it is a new born in the house--be careful, don't touch, don't breath on it--don't this and that! The kids get it (me) and thankfully know it is just the season!

I'm all for HOME church tomorrow. Especially in this cold weather and it being our last week with Grandma Lodgie here. And Daddy having to work tomorrow. . .

It is all in His Hands.

Thankfully so.

Friday, January 18, 2008 3:37 PM CST

Olivia's line was placed yesterday with no glitches other than some slight bleeding last night prior to hook-up to TPN.

I was assured by a CVL expert that this was normal to bleed a bit for 24 hours. So we opted to watch it and come home.

Once we unpacked, it was time to get down to the business of changing out the dressing. It all seems so simple, but when "silk tape" has been wrapped around the new line which is being held by some threads--a jerk of a tape holding onto the Tegaderm could spell for (as Olivia said--POP IT OUT) not so good times.

Just as Grandma Bert during her visit that first July with Olivia's first line--Grandma stood over handing me the things I needed them--we were a regular surgical team only we had the PATIENT giving us "what for" the whole way!

Olivia helped pull the Tegaderm down and after seeing that the "red square" or gauze over old site was not sticking to the steri strips and it all looked good after cleaning it--we moved on down to the new site. Took some time to get all the tape, Tegaderm off, but it is--clean--and dressed back up!

I had been waiting for Olivia's new language arts work to come in the mail and was pleased to see it here along with a handwritten letter from one of my youngest art students. God's timing was perfect.

We are all ready to get back to the business of living life.

Thursday, January 17, 2008 5:28 PM CST

Olivia did so well; the people who were in our lives today were amazingly kind, professional and just plain superb.

We had the plan, but it was changed at the last minute due to "back log" of patients--we were going to take her all the way back, but there were no rooms available so they spoke about pre-medicating since we would not be with her. O would not have it and (although she said NOTHING to anyone today, but made her requests known to me through whispers and sign language) took to Nurse Tiffany who has a daughter named--ISABELLA! That made us all smile. So with prayer, hugs and kisses she was taken back and immediately!

So BRAVE! I am completely amazed how GOD worked it all out--down to each person. . .

Recovery (been a while since I've experienced it) was rough, lots of tears and she thought she was in the ER and wanting her "room"--and refused any pain medication.

Thank you for ALL the prayers and insight prior; Olivia was allowed to say where she wanted the exit site--just a bit lower than her first. There is a little blood; so thankful we are still just 5 minutes away. . .Vernon Manor is such a GIFT!

David has been such a tender brother. He has grown into his role so naturally. He is so compassionate and considerate to Olivia's needs.

All of it is so humbling and although it is a minor procedure (and to many reading this VERY minor) it was so big to us all here.

Now to keep Miss Olivia safe from infection, God's Hand. Everyone was so impressed by the longevity of this line--another gift.

Bless you dear friends.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008 3:36 PM CST

NO GROWTH in urine. . .just a little Mama paranoia! So thankful it is clear.

What a great surprise we were given today!

Dave came home! He was then able to take Olivia's urine to lab which made my day--all of ours, so much more laid back.

Major relief too as Olivia got ALL of her math correct today!

Thank you so much for all the prayers; we so appreciate it all.

Olivia had her last bath (that she can have in a long time)--we scrubbed everywhere--she was so happy to have a bath! She usually has showers.

When I asked her what she was thinking about--she said--"I'm just wondering if God will come back before tomorrow."

David has been taking oodles of pictures of his sister, movies, etc. we did photos of our old friend, "C-Line". . .

Tuesday, January 15, 2008 7:12 PM CST

Nice home days.

Pumping right along, Olivia wore 3 fluid balls today and will do the same tomorrow to insure good hydration.

Good sleep, bed early as she will not relinquish the 8:15 morning call. She has been more than faithful to it.

Full days of home which fills my heart fully.

God is good. . .
all
the
time.

Monday, January 14, 2008 8:26 PM CST

We are hanging in there. Olivia wants it to be Thursday to get "it" over with and get to Vernon Manor. I tend to agree with her.

She has had a lot of "tummy" pain last night and through today. It is a strange season. Her belly is so flat, soft, not distended but yet she is having some pain. She has not been distended in a very long time. This is good, but also strange. Thankful.

The carrot I found when I emptied her pouch probably didn't help. So, no more carrots for a while. At least it was cooked.

When asked if anything exciting was going to happen he responded concerning the trip to Cincinnati.

We appreciate the prayers.

Friday, January 11, 2008 12:42 AM CST

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
LEGO! Some kids like this or that, well for David his comfort "toy" is LEGO right now. Olivia will follow along, but she chose two little princess dolls which are small to carry in her pocket--and NOT POLLY POCKETS! Go figure! Her stuffed Izza I'm sure will be going with us as well.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Thank you for all the emails and guestbook entries. I keep reading them to Olivia.

I love that Olivia is willing to share her feelings; if it were David, boy would I have my work cut out! Actually, the boy has been pretty verbal about it all.

After receiving an email from Nurse Gerry regarding the "procedure" there was a sense of relief, that Dave or I can go back with her and we'll be there when her "2 shakes of a lamb's tail" are over--

I assured her it would be 1 shake and not even 2.

She awoke early and disclosed she had a hard time falling back to sleep, so I think we'll take turns sleeping with the girl.

So, the date is Thursday--January 17--2 PM.

Peace.

Wednesday, January 9, 2008 11:13 PM CST

Thursday 2 PM (but we know hospital time!:)

Many of you who understand the line placement thank YOU so much for your bits and pieces in the guest book and in emails. It gives me good things to share with Olivia. She took great comfort that her "Miss Steph" had just received one--not to mention Korey. And in true Steph form--talking of gardening and art in the Spring gave such a lovely picture for us to talk about.

Tonight during dinner, David and Olivia had many many questions. Again, to many of our friends out there this is a routine thing--but it is her first real memory for her. But it isn't for David--he DOES remember the "big one"--as so do all of us adults.

We talked about who would be in during the pre-op--and talking with Dr. A. David said he wanted to be there; he needed to meet who was going to operate on his sister.

I reassured him he would but most likely afterwards.

Olivia kept asking for reassurance that it would be over in two shakes of a lamb's tail. (Grandma Lodgieism for sure) Then there all sorts of talk of what kind of dreams she would have, and would she be able to eat afterwards. That girl. Eating!

It hit me today as I was emailing Nurse Gerry--asking if we could be with her all the way back and be there when she opens her eyes. Just that single thought broke me. The thought of Olivia being frightened and my not being able to hold her hand--kiss her goodnight. I remember during one of her procedures Dave and I both walked her back--kissed her.

It is an amazing part of God and His abundant Grace how long Olivia has kept this line. I can't say it feels like yesterday she was having it placed--at Kosair, Aunt Becca was there and all her fun antics and Dave and I both so completely clueless, yet trusting. I remember the night before they took out her PICC line and she took a real. . .bath. I remember Kosair not allowing us to go back or be with her when she awoke, but Dave insisted that we have her immediate. Someone carried her OUT to us!

(No, it feels more like a life time. That I had never been married before, that life began for me the day O got that line. Isn't that funny? It changed us to a certain extent, all of us.)

And then home. . .and a new homecare company in which I met the nurse before we decided. Can't remember her name for anything right now--she was also, Matthew's nurse. How we had hoped and prayed she would not need this "C-LINE" as it was so scary to me. It became almost like the 3rd child. How we tried to get her off of TPN only to have her malnourished and in need of Cincy's care. . .and our meeting our beloved Dr. K and Nurse Gerry.

How God's Hand has kept us.

Then we grew up a bit more and graduated to yet another homecare company and no nursing.

I learned how to draw labs from her central line. Did all the dressing changes, cap changes.

And all the while, "C-LINE" kept right on working--minus a few pops in the line--surprise, stressful moments--but with God we made it.

Only once has she had an infection--it was in her PICC line (prior to her having the central line--as we were in denial that our baby would need TPN for life!) which our homecare nurse hadn't changed her "cap" in 6 weeks. Needless to say, that is why we found a new nurse, homecare. I believe she has had 4 repairs. Only one was done electively. The other three in most inopportune times--before a dance class, at bed and right before we were to have friends over.

Today as she ran to and fro, so happy to see her friends. . .I have already begun that--"watch-out, be care-ful" mode settling in. . .it was that temper and lots of distraction time which got a 2 year old through--a new central line, two tubes and a pouch!

What an amazing girl you are, Olivia Blinn! You do things I have NEVER done--nor have ever been asked to do. You have quietly in your own way coped and dealt and ran with it all.

If only I could be half as strong.

Thank you, Lord for letting me say all of that!

She enjoyed hearing from Samantha and Maya's, Hannah's, Kourtney's Mom. She loves to visit the CB sites--especially those with movies, photos of kitties (gotta love POOKIE) and friends she has met.

The internet is such a great tool enabling so many different people to not feel isolated.

We ended our CB time viewing Zach THE ONE and ONLY's art show.

It put a lot of life garbage into perspective for sure.

Continued prayers for our friends.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008 9:10 PM CST

Day 2 and Olivia was UP and at 'em again! She is such an inspiration to me.

This may seem silly to some, but for us there are days and nights which are hard and to keep a routine is hard.

I'm so thankful for how well Olivia is doing right now; she was hurting today--and sang "Amazing Grace" on her belly--because it felt better that way!

Tonight, she and I walked Charlie before the real rains came. We spoke about her line placement and she is ready. Dave even has a few days off--so thankful for that.

The line is scheduled for January 17 which is a Thursday. Not sure on the time yet.

God is confirming and giving His peace about this.

Monday, January 7, 2008 6:13 PM CST

What a wonderful feeling, a new start. Having taken a break and coming back refreshed--ready--willing--it was so encouraging.

I had played up the morning schedule so much--O popped OUT of bed and after taking out overnight cath--unplugged her TPN pump (lipids are over earlier--yes, two pumps--not a problem yet!) and had her "morning chores" finished and ready to go before David even got out of bed! So she and I made our famous pancakes from scratch and reviewed over some cooking techniques.

Grace for David as he had a hard time falling asleep on the eve of a big day for him--violin lesson, orchestra and then cub scouts.

We all worked hard and got everything which was planned completed and then even did some off the cuff things--David got drawn into Olivia's history lesson--Frances Scott Key--and ended up drawing his portrait after reading about him.

Dave has his two days off--he just got finished with 5 days on--which I do not believe he was home before 8:30 any of the nights. And last night (or should I say morning) he got home at 1:30 AM! He was a tired Daddy, but while David and I did "music" he and Olivia took Isabella to the VET.

Miss Isabella has the kitty virus and at times has a flare. David and Olivia have faithfully given Isabella her medicine but we found Izza was sneezing more and can get sick fast. Dave said Olivia did pretty much all the talking for her kitty!

Meanwhile David and I were learning all sorts of exercises--to play violin! It was an education for me as well--and with his background in singing which David has received through Keesha--it was very whole. I just see it as a circle, sphere--all complete. Good. Encouraging to David who can be so hard on himself.

The boys off to Scouts and we girls relaxing--

Waiting on the date of the central line placement; it does seem to be looming but also it is such an opportunity to discuss, Trust, Peace, and Faith. David is struggling very much, asking a lot of questions--and with the new parts today brought--I bet he is so relieved to see things are going to be not just OK, but good.

I can't wait to hear what he has to say.

Been a lot of depth talking and praying together.
Such a blessing.

Always to Jesus.

Sunday, January 6, 2008 5:42 PM CST

Tomorrow is our day back to school. The day. I am anxious to be back into this sort of a routine. We've been working on our sleeping routine--waking and night routine since we returned from our St Louis trip.

Been pressed to do some things differently with school. I've read so much about educating children in the past two weeks--I think more than I ever did in school!

We'll start in slowly and head on down the path.

So good to hear from the "pro" out there--you are such blessings and keep me in the balanced mode.

The kids ask daily about the central line. I hope we can spend the night in Cincy and enjoy our beloved Vernon Manor and some sort of Cincy delight--art museum, Krohn's Conservatory--something!

Thursday, January 3, 2008 9:18 PM CST

Still awaiting a date. David overheard my talking to Dave on the phone so he and I had a heart to heart. He wanted Olivia to know right then and there about her central line. He is one who you can't tell TOO far in advance about something or he concerns over it. And he wanted Olivia to know right away. The funny thing is--I go back and tell her--(she already was hooked up for the night) and does the "protecting" the body thing with her legs. We ended up reminiscing about her initial central line--how Aunt Becca was there--and then went on to talk about hospital stays, all in good fun. Nothing heavy. David was relieved and felt that things would be all right.

Gave an opportunity to speak to what real "peace" is. . .something I'm studying myself now.

Today was a pleasure of a day; I started it way early, but got much accomplished and had good times one on one with Olivia while David and Grandma did their "thing" at home.

TO JESUS!

~~~

I received a note from our Nurse Gerry.

Dr. K. would like to have Olivia's central line replaced. It is almost 6 years old (well in June, so it would be 5.5 years) and has been so very good to Olivia--to two old parents who at times have been more afraid of that catheter than. . .well, it was very intimidating in the beginning that is for sure.

It is like the changing of the guards. To see this line go and a different place on Olivia's chest--all of it--of course I cannot let this time proceed without reflecting upon it and thanking God for His divine Protection.

In true fashion to Sheila--I felt that I had to take care of ALL that is needed to be taken care of in a stacking it all up and get it over with quick. But then, after a nap, quiet time, God showed me--no--one thing at a time.

Urology CAN wait but this would be best taken care of sooner than later and with Grandma here--it seems ripe.

And although a central line placement can be very routine (outpatient) it isn't routine to the little brown eyed girl who doesn't remember any of her major surgery and the placement of this dear old friend "c-line" so it must be treated as such. Big in the eyes of the little beholder.

Tonight as I was putting in her overnight cath before Grandma got into bed beside her to continue reading our book--her "J pillow" (2x2 split gauze) was on the bed up on the two slits--running--she said it looked like a. . .and now I cannot remember what she said, it was clever and I hope to remember--I know she will in the morning.

ACTION FIGURE--that was what she called her J-PILLOW!

:)

Wednesday, January 2, 2008 7:10 PM CST

A major growth moment!!!

Olivia disclosed to me that even after I had put more water in her G balloon--she did it again later and found that the Gtube need to be taken out. It popped out--and when I brought the tube, she insisted on putting it in herself! She did! She DID IT! THE TIME HAS COME! Very neat stuff.

After a good shower bath last night, Olivia seemed to perk up for the first time in almost a week. Today was a MUCH better day and as Mom and I looked over the day she decided to get David back on the keyboard.

David is learning to type, correctly. My mom was a typing/business teacher for all her years as a public school teacher. It fits right in with piano and violin for David, correct hand position, all of it.

Today was not an official school day, as I opted to wait for January 7, but in true DeKold fashion we ended up having full piano lessons, bow work for David, keyboard and reading. Olivia is working on writing music. I got both a book that my brother and I used learning piano and she is having fun learning how to make the notes, clefs, etc.

It was so funny, Olivia asked how long recess would be!

David and Olivia are true pals. They had such a great day together.

O is bouncy and energetic, soft flat bellied--thin and tiny, but full of energy and talk.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008 9:48 AM CST

A new year.

It has such a new feel to it already. I know around here--we need renewing, recommitment, regrouping.

Olivia has been off now for almost a week. She isn't her "self"--quiet, and experiencing something "normal" for ostomates, but nonetheless it isn't pleasant for her.

January means I have to get serious about rescheduling the urology appointment I canceled during Papa's hospital stay. It also means diligence with school and a new improved schedule--and protecting that schedule--to push on, being content with being home more. YES!

I'm determined to do only the things which God is calling (our family) to do--that He has placed on our hearts. I'm excited. So many new fresh starts, clean starts. . .and confidence that God will provide and make a way.

We had a very nice time in St Louis visiting Dave's parents. Olivia was not feeling her best and opted for a lot of Waltons watching. We were able to talk to Grandma and Grandpa about their lives during the depression.

The Waltons is our newest TV adventure. I can't believe what wholesome viewing it is--and very educational.

There have been many instances in the last week where I've been able to draw a parallel. Olivia is most interested.

TV watching is one of Olivia's coping mechanisms. But the true blessing is she can knit all the while--which she does!

We also enjoyed listening to the Providential Battle series from Vision Forum on our way and back from St Louis. It helped solidify my stance on no DVD in the car--you can listen to GOOD stuff and still check out the GOOD stuff you are drving through, by, and in!

We are also enjoying GoogleEarth's new download--GOOGLE SKY! Technology pointing to the Heavens!

Newest of Years this 2008--may it bring healing to hearts broken and bodies tired.

God save the people.

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