History

Sunday, February 14, 2010 2:17 PM CST

Hi folks, long time since I last posted...that is a sign of healing on my part I believe...

We are coming up to five years since Chris passed...hard to believe..but true...

I miss him daily, I think of him always, but my life is returning to normal...the new normal...

Happy Valentines Day to my Angel, I love you forever...

Thursday, September 10, 2009 5:54 PM CDT

Well folks, its that time of year again, September, which is Child/Teen Cancer Awareness Month, are you wearing your Gold Ribbon to help spread the word about our kids?

On a sad note, the last of the kids from our group of fighters has passed away after fighting the beast from the age of 4 to 21...he is the last of our warriors and I hope Christopher welcomes him home and shows him the way...I can't imagine being a kid fighting for so long, how strong his mom Chris is to survive through this long battle.

I am going to the memorial for this young man on Sept. 20...two days before my birthday...so for my birthday gift please wear a Gold Ribbon and remember all of the kids, fighters and those who are now at rest...and of course our hope for the future...the survivors...they all need a voice...

remember to hug your kids, one never knows when life can change in a heart beat...I am also keeping another little fella in my thoughts who sounds like he many have cancer, I know his mom, she works in our local mall...he is 4 1/2 years old...

take care, love to all

Friday, May 29, 2009 11:07 PM CDT

Happy 24th birthday to my special Angel...

and thankyou to those of you that have taken the time to send wishes to the lad...it means a lot to me to know he is still remembered...

Hugs and Kisses to my birthday boy...I miss you so much...

Monday, February 23, 2009 2:58 PM CST

Hard to believe, next Saturday, Feb.28 my Chris will be gone for 4 years, he's been dead now for almost as long as he fought this damn disease...still missing you Kissyfur, still can't believe the unthinkable happened to you...

I've added some new photos of Chris
Loving you always

Come to me in the silence of the night,
Come in the speaking silence of a dream,
Come with soft rounded cheeks and eyes as bright
As sunlight on a stream;
Come back in tears,
O memory, hope, love of finished years

Christina Rossetti 1830 - 1894

Sunday, January 11, 2009 6:07 PM CST

Happy New Year to all...

well I made through the 4th Christmas without him...it was really an effort and to be honest, it just isn't cuttin it for me anymore...next year I think I am gonna pass altogether and do something for myself and Ian for a change...time to get a little selfish...

I see a couple of posts from new folks and I want to thank you for the words you've left, as well, hugs to my faithful readers...

I really don't know how much longer I should continue this journal, but it seems every so ofter a newbie finds this page and it seems to help them in their own journey on this roller coaster life..so for that reason I shall continue posting for the time being...

My group on facebook is growning leaps and bounds (5000
members! I've met many people there with the same goals as myself, that being spreading awareness about child/teen cancers...lots of links on the group also, so trust me...if u don't see me here one day, be sure you get on facebook and join Gold Ribbon Campaign for Childhood Cancer Awareness....

Rosi...McKennas mom is a member and she also has a group in McKennas memory...

So, if u join us, send me a message and let me know you came via Caringbridge....

I am having a garden landscape designer come to my house in the spring to help plan the entire property! Too be sure there will be a special memorial garden for my Chris incorporated in the big plan...

right now I am working out on the Wii Fit (it say's I am obese lol) and doing the treadmill...

all of this weight gain is a result of long term stress and unhealthy eating a the hospitals for so many years...its time to morph....

Hugs to all

BTW, keep your eyes peeled for some new photos of Chris soon...I got a photo scanner for xmas!

Love to you all...

Monday, December 22, 2008 6:54 PM CST

Merry Christmas to everyone...again its a sad time for me, tomorrow I am heading to a friends house for the night after I finish work, I will be putting a Christmas wreath on Chris's grave on Christmas Eve...what else can I do?

I am doing fine, got the tree up, presents are all wrapped for the first time in history before Christmas Eve lol...

supposed to get another snow storm Tuesday nite...lots of snow for this early in December, but not as bad as last winter!

Merry Christmas to Devin and family, Kayla and family and so many others...so happy all is going well !

Hard to believe in Feb. Chris will have been gone 4 years, seems like yesterday, I suppose it always will feel that way.

Happy Holidays to all, and to all a goodnight....

Wednesday, December 3, 2008 4:50 PM CST

Hello, Rosi, and Ms. Pam...its heartwarming to know you are both thinking of Chris still...hard to believe we will be at 4 years of his passing this coming Feb...

Thankyou for remembering Chris and please hug the kids for me for being such thoughtful children... :)

Its still difficult for me to get excited about Christmas, in fact as each year passes I am less and less interested..its just not and never will be the same with the loss of my boy...

This Christmas I've adopted a single mom with 3 kids, of course they don't know who I am..I've bought for her and her 3 children...it makes me feel good to help..knowing I am doing this in memory of Chris..

I have not been working as much because my client has not been doing to well, so on the days her home provider stays home there is no need for me to go to her...hubby's hours have been cut for the month of December, but we will manage fine...

I overspent on my boy Fraser, but, well, he is my treasure and he's been making it on his own and has never asked for a handout so for that I am so very proud of the lad...so he got what he asked for from Santa... can't wait to see his face when he gets it :0

Well folks, if I don't get back here before Christmas, I wish you all the best for this holiday season...

Hugs

Friday, November 7, 2008 5:20 PM CST

Hi folks,

don't know how many hits this page is getting now a days, except for of course my few faithfuls....

should one day I end up finishing with this please look for me on Facebook and send me a friend request

type in

Leslie Gist

Not much new to report, I've been very rundown, easily tired, and doing some research I am certain I am suffering what is know as Adrenal Fatique...not uncommon in people that have had long periods of major stress...geez do you think I may fit that category? Also now with my sister living with us and her being diagnosed with leukemia...ya, think its safe to say my adrenal glands are being taxed again...however, I am happy to report she is doing well, stopped drinking cold turkey and is eating really well, lots of fresh fruits and veg...I am so very proud of her.

I still have my bad days, but not as many, the main problem is my head seems to have Chris in it at all times, replaying, and replaying different things from the entire illness...it feels like there is not a second my brain isn't thinking something about him...its kinda driving me batty, if it continues for another year I will have it looked into...

other than that, I am doing well...still very busy with my group on facebook spreading awareness and I will be back here to post a couple of links for very IMPORTANT petitions I would like you all to sign and send to everyone you know...

Talk again soon

((((HUGS))))

Friday, August 22, 2008 4:50 PM CDT

Hi all,

sorry for the delay in the trip update....it was ok, saw a couple of small whales, seals, but ate no lobster!!!

It was very expensive in Prince Edward Island, and it was the end of our trip...weather started to get lousy so we left a week early, and drove 18 hrs straight from PEI to home!

Finally now, as of Aug/22/08 its going to be a hot weekend, its been a really lousy summer, chilly and raining it seems to me most of the time....

My old computer has baffed on me, I think I got a major virus, I have lost everything, all my photos, thank god I had the pic's of Chris on a disc, or I would have lost my mind....

I went to the cemetary this past Monday, first time this summer, planted a couple of more plants, and headed back home.

I still can't believe there is no GRASS on his grave, I suppose the families are expected to lay the sod themselves???

Don't seem to have much readership activities, except for the old faithfuls ') you folks know who u r...
Well, its Friday nite, and the weather is fine, so I am going to sit outside and have a couple of glasses of vino...

O yeah, finally got the thing off my finger on Wednesday, still bent a bit and swollen, but other than that its 'all good' (one of Chris's fav sayings lol )

I am doing really well emotionally, and I am still very active on my Facebook Group:

Gold Ribbon Campaign for Childhood Cancer Awareness

I suppose I really should post the link on the links section...

Love to all

Leslie

Thursday, July 10, 2008 11:33 AM CDT

Hello readers,

Sorry for the long delay in updating, I guess that is a good sign, that perhaps I am moving on somewhat in life...

all is well here, Ian and I are going on a trip this Sunday to the east coast of Canada, first trip in over 20 years for me!

I am currently sporting a splint of sorts on my right ring finger till at least the end of August, the tendon came unattached at the top of my finger, stupid me, leaned wierd on it and it made a crunching sound and when I looked at my finger, it was hanging down at the tip and no matter how I tried I couldn't get it to raise back up...so from 8pm to 4:30 am spent in emerg, waiting for a splint lol! Didn't hurt at all this injury, but its difficult to type.

Sister Sally is doing well, all is going smooth since she's moved in...

can't type anymore, arm is killing me because I have to keep my finger straight and can't use it to type lol...

Wish me luck on my trip I am phobic about sleeping in strange beds so I am taking my own bedding and pillows LOL

Hope to see some whales and eat great seafood, but Ian will have to crack open the shellfish for me cuz of the injury LOL

Have a great summer

Monday, March 24, 2008 1:17 PM CDT

Forever Changed

Can you see the change in me?
It may not be so obvious to you.

I participate in family activities.
I help plan holiday meals.

You tell me you're glad to see that I don't cry anymore.
But I do cry!

When everyone has gone -
when it is safe -
the tears fall.
I cry in privacy so my family won't worry.
I cry until I am exhausted and can finally sleep.

You tell me you admire my strength and my positive attitude.
But I am not strong.

I feel that I have lost control,
and I panic when I think about tomorrow...next week...next year.

I go about the routine of my job.
I complete my assigned tasks.
I drink coffee and smile.

You tell me you're glad to see I'm "over" the death of my child.
But I'm not "over" it.

If I get over it, I will be the same
as before my child died.
I will never be the same.

At times I think I am beginning to heal,
but the pain of loosing someone I loved so much
has left a permanent scar on my heart.

I visit my neighbors.
You tell me you're glad to see I'm holding up so well.
But I'm not holding up well.

Sometimes I want to lock the door
and hide from the world.

I spend time with my friends.
I appear calm and collected.
I smile when appropriate.

You tell me it's good to see me back to my "old self."
But I will never be back to my "old self".

Death and grief have touched my life,
and I am forever changed.
~ Author Unknown

Friday, November 30, 2007 10:33 PM CST

I HOPE...

I hope you never have to hear the words, "Your child has cancer."

I hope you never have to hear, "The prognosis is not good."

I hope you never have to prepare to undergo radiation or chemotherapy, have a port surgically inserted into their chest, be connected to IV poles.

Look at you with fear in their eyes and say, "Don't worry Mommy, everything will be okay.'

I hope you never have to hold your child as they vomit green bile.

I hope you never have to feed them ice chips for lunch.

I hope you never have to watch the "cure" you pray for slowly take away their identity, as they

lose their hair,

become skeletal,

swell up from steroids,

develop severe acne,

become barely or unable to walk or move,

and look at you with hope in their eyes and say,

"It's going to be okay, Mommy."

I hope that you never have to stay in the hospital for weeks, months, or years at a time, where there is no privacy, sleeping on a slab, with your face to the wall, where you cry in muffled silence.

I hope you never have to see a mother, alone, huddled, in a dark hospital corridor...crying quietly, after just being told, "There is nothing more we can do."

I hope you never have to watch a family wander aimlessly, minutes after their child's body has been removed.

I hope you never have to use every bit of energy you have left, with all of this going on around you to remain positive, and the feelings of guilt, sorrow, hope and fear, overwhelm you.

I hope you never have to see a child's head bolted to the table as they receive radiation.

I hope you never have to take your child home (grateful but so afraid) in a wheelchair because the chemo and radiation has damaged their muscles, 35 pounds lighter, pale, bald, and scarred.

And they look at you with faith in their eyes and say, "It's going to be okay Mommy."

I hope you never have to face the few friends that have stuck beside you and hear them say, "Thank God that is over with,"...because you know it never will be.

Your life becomes a whirl of doctors, blood tests and MRI's and you try to get your life back to "normal".

While living in mind-numbing fear that any one of those tests could result in hearing the dreaded words...

"The cancer has returned" or "The tumor is growing."

And your friends become even fewer.

I hope you never have to experience any of these things...Because...only then...

Will you understand...

Written by: Carol Baan

Tuesday, November 27, 2007 7:21 PM CST

Wow, does life throw some of us more punches than others!

With a heavy heart, it seems I may have to start another Caringbridge page....

I just found out late this afternoon that my younger sister has been diagnosed with leukemia...a leukemia that there is no cure for....

I really hoped I'd never have to deal with this shit disease ever again in my family...but alas, life is never kind...

Please send me the strength to cope with this recent news, life is so unfair sometimes...

Being the person that I am, I am sure I will cope, but at what cost to my own health and well being?????????????
I am the only family my sister has...so I will be there for her...no matter what

Friday, October 26, 2007 11:22 PM CDT

Here is a link to the Virtual Cemetary I have Christopher listed in;

you can leave him a token and note if desired...thanks so much

http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GSln=Gist+&GSfn=n&GRid=16289759&

Monday, October 1, 2007 1:21 PM CDT

it is with mixed emotions I bring this news.......

Chris's headstone has finally been put up in the cemetary...5 months to the date of his third year of passing..

the stone was put up on Friday, September 28, 2007

I have not seen it yet, but will be going there on the weekend...

Happy Thanksgiving Angel, I will be there to see you this weekend...

Thursday, September 27, 2007 11:53 PM CDT

"MY child

On the day God took you
I thought that I would die
I wondered where the time went?
I asked alot of whys??
With people all around me
I felt alone inside
From all their words of comfort,
I couldn't seem to hide, I thought I might be dreaming
That I'd wake and find you here,
I thought "This can't be happening."
As I wiped another tear.
On the day that you were laid to rest
My heart broke yet again,
I wondered if the pain would end,
But mostly, I wondered when??
It's hard to be without you,
At times the days seem long,
Sometimes I just sit crying,
When there's really nothing wrong.
I wish we'd had more time,
Before your life was done.
I hope your resting peacefully,
My precious child,

Sunday, June 24, 2007 10:18 PM CDT

We Remember Them...... In the rising of the sun and in its going down, we remember them; In the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter, we remember them; In the opening of buds and in the rebirth of spring, we remember them; In the blueness of the sky and the warmth of summer, we remember them; In the rustling of leaves and in the beauty of autumn, we remember them; In the beginning of the year and when it ends, we remember them; When we are weary and in need of strength, we remember them; When we are lost and sick at heart, we remember them; When we have joys we yearn to share, we remember them; So long as we live, they too shall live, for they are now a part of us, as we remember them.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007 11:01 PM CDT

Thankyou to those of you that still read...I really appreciate you leaving a message on Chris's birthday...I'd sent up one balloon with his picture attached with the caring bridge page and so far no one has replied if they've found it...

I was feeling earlier this evening very at one with the earth and thoughts of wisdom and of life and death entered my mind...however, its now very late and I must get to sleep..I have to work...tomorrow...

I don't feel that I am now getting enough readers to really be of any help or influence for folks...so, once again I am contemplating shutting down..its been over two years since Christopher left us...what else in life really matters...should I not come back to write again, please remember Christopher...always...remember his strength and fortitude forever...let him always be a shining reminder of how strong a soul can be...

by the way...last Sat.. sitting outside with my Ian and my sister, I'd made a remark commenting on how I couldn't remember the last time I'd ever seen a firefly............

so, if you want to hear the rest of the story and what happened you ALL (lurkers included) better let me know you want to hear what happened.....or else, this could be the last time you hear from me...and what Christopher has been up too....but you can alway's email me :)

Hugs

Sunday, May 27, 2007 8:56 PM CDT

Please remember Christopher this May 29th, its his birthday and he would be 22...

and don't forget to click on the Teen Angels Forever in the Light logo...help us get votes for Chris's new banner...

thankyou

Sunday, May 20, 2007 10:47 PM CDT

Chris, I hope you are with your friends this long weekend,celebrating and having a great time with your friends in spirit...

Your birthday is coming up on May 29, and I will be coming to visit you and plant some flowers, then Ian and I will be having dinner at the Keg restaurant, your fav eatery..in your memory...please join us in spirit...

I had a really rough time leading up to mothers day...alot of crying, worse than last year, but I am ok now..still weeping now and then...it breaks my heart to know you are not here to enjoy the wonderful summer days...

I've had lots of butterflies around me the past week..and saw to birds that I've never in my life seen before...Scarlet Tanagers...so beautiful they were...and I am getting a regular hummingbird visit now, today he/she almost flew into my face while I was standing at the patio door, it was so close to my face I actually hear the humming of his wings lol........

Still learning to live life without you....not sure if its a lesson I will ever really learn...

Love you tons....

Friends, please also visit Chris and leave him a birthday message at findagrave.com
type in his name..Chris Gist..in the non famous people search...although to me he is famous...

I don't want Christopher's memory to fade into oblivion...it means more than u know, to see that people are not forgetting my brave young man

And don't forget to click on the Teen Angels Forever in the Light banner...each time it adds up toward getting a new personal banner made up for our Christopher!

Thanks and Hugs to all

Wednesday, May 9, 2007 9:50 PM CDT

Mothers Day is fast coming upon us...so once again I post this poem by an unkown author....

This one is rather sad but I think quite a few mothers deserve it.

Dear Mr. Hallmark

I am writing to you from heaven, and though it must appear

A rather strange idea, I see everything from here.

I just popped in to visit, your stores to find a card,

A card of love for my mother, as this day for her is hard.

There must be some mistake I thought, every card you could imagine

Except I could not find a card, from a child who lives in heaven.

She is still a mother too, no matter where I reside

I had to leave, she understands, but oh the tears she�s cried.

I thought that if I wrote you, that you would come to know

That though I live in heaven now, I still love my mother so.

She talks with me, and dreams with me; we still share laughter too,

Memories are our way of speaking now, would you see what you could do?

My mother carries me in her heart, her tears she hides from sight.

She writes poems to honor me, sometimes far into the night

She plants flowers in my garden, there, my living memory dwells

She writes to other grieving parents, trying to ease their pain as well.

So you see Mr. Hallmark, though I no longer live on earth

I must find a way, to remind her of her wondrous worth

She needs to be honored, and remembered too

Just as the children of earth will do

Thank you Mr. Hallmark, I know you�ll do your best

I have done all I can do; to you I�ll leave the rest.

Find a way to tell her, how much she means to me

Until I can do it for myself, when she joins me in eternity.

Monday, April 23, 2007 9:38 PM CDT

We finally have made final arrangements for Chris's headstone...only has taken two years...won't get into the reasons behind that issue...!

They are going to call when the artwork is done so I can check it first before its carved...

Please check out Teen Angels Forever in The Light...Chris is there also...

I am doing well, back to work, but yes...those moments still hit now and then...if ever you get the chance to listen to a song by Kenny Chesney...called..Who You'd Be Today (I think that the title) that song hits me hard...

Dear Mrs. Pam, I got the Easter Card from the kiddies and you thankyou so much for keeping us in your thoughts, however our address is different so either email me to get new addy or you can get it from Devins mom...

Love ya'll

Sunday, April 8, 2007 9:13 PM CDT

This documentary is a must see..you will begin to understand what its like to have a child with cancer...very raw, reality....I've already watched it once and just happened to see it was on again tonite on TVO (Ontario, Canada) second and final part is next Sunday at 8pm on TVO for those of u that live in Ontario, Canada...or I believe its PBS in the States...

I urge everyone to watch this film...but bring kleenex with you...

A LION IN THE HOUSE

follows the stories of five exceptional children and their families as they battle pediatric cancer. From the trauma of diagnosis to the physical toll of treatment, this series documents the stresses that can tear a family apart as well as the courage of children facing the possibility of death with honesty, dignity and humor. As the film compresses six years into one narrative, it puts viewers in the shoes of parents, physicians, nurses, siblings, grandparents and social workers who struggle to defeat an indiscriminate and predatory disease.

The Kids

This unprecedented portrait of pediatric cancer�s life-altering effects introduces seven-year-old Alex, a bundle of energy with dark eyes and curls; and Tim, a mercurial, quick-witted 16-year-old with a thousand-watt smile. Justin is amiable and stalwart at 19, despite ten years of fighting the disease. Jen is a serious, quiet six-year-old and Al is a quicksilver, wry 11-year-old.

Each child has a unique experience in confronting the disease and the treatment, but each embarks on a journey that is bewildering, terrifying, nearly unbearable and certainly quite unlike anything most people associate with the normal experience of childhood. The families of the children join them on their harrowing odyssey, and regardless of outcome, no one involved will ever be the same again.

The Parents

Even as they cope with their children�s pain and discomfort, the parents must also find a way to finance the enormous costs of treatment. Alex�s father Scott estimates that his insurance company has paid two million dollars so far for his daughter�s treatment. Meanwhile, Al�s mother, Regina, has minimal insurance coverage and must navigate a mystifying bureaucracy to get her son�s medical bills paid. And Marietha, who used to work before Tim got sick, is now on welfare and must spend money she can�t afford on cab fares to visit Tim in the hospital.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007 7:44 PM CDT

A few days before the 2nd anniversay of Christophers death, I recieved the following email, I am sure some of you may have seen this disgusting email complete with a picture of the little girl that supposedly is dying of cancer....

Hi, my name is Amy Bruce. I am 7 years old, and I have severe lung cancer from second hand smoke. I also have a large tumor in my brain, from repeated beatings The doctors say I will die soon if this isn't fixed, and my family can't pay the bills. The Make A Wish Foundation, has agreed to donate 7 cents for every name on this list. For those of you who send this along, I thank you so much, but for those who don't send it, what goes around comes around. Have a Heart, please send this

**********************************************************

Chris got his wish from the Make A Wish Foundation and I know they would NEVER endorse such a request...not to mention threat in my opinion...

I contacted Make A Wish and they told me this email has been going on for years sometimes in different words...

The lady that read my email was so upset about it after she followed my links about Chris and realized what we all went through, that she contacted CTV News in Canada to do a story about this scam...CTV News in Calgary (other end of the country to me) called me today, because of this...being that I received the email so close to the anniversay of Chris's death, so, they did a segment tonight on air...and the reporter was quoting what I said..
we are hopeing it will be aired in Toronto, Vancouver and Edmonton in the very near future...

Thankyou Make A Wish and CTV news for bringing this disgusting email scam to the public...these people need to be BUSTED!

So if you ever recieve any of these types of emails NEVER forward it to a friend...they always use the name of a reputable foundation and if you check out the real foundation its likely you will find a warning on their homepage about the scams being used in their names...I know now that Make A Wish has a portion about these emails on their site...

What gets me the most was the part'what goes around, comes around'...well if thats true then boy are they gonna get whats coming to them one fine day!

Wednesday, February 28, 2007 4:43 PM CST

Two years now you've been gone Chris...I love you son

My Guardian Angel Son

You�re the angel on my shoulder
When I�m driving down the highway.
You�re the angel on my bedpost
When I go to sleep at night.
You�re watching over me night and day
My life�s in your hands,
My Guardian Angel, my son, my protector.

I feel your presence throughout the day.
I will pause and close my eyes
And good thoughts of you fill my head.
I will smile and carry on,
The sadness of the moment gone.

Son, you have gone on ahead of me to Heaven,
To pave the way for me someday.
Our meeting will be joyous,
My heart will be whole once more.
But for now, I feel you near
My Guardian Angel son.

I love you -- Mom

Tuesday, February 27, 2007 8:04 PM CST

Two years ago tonite Chris was struggling for his last breaths...at 1:10am Feb 28/05 Christophers fight and struggle ended...please never forget about my Christopher, he was and always will be such an inspiration to me...

I love you Chris, I will forever miss you and you will never be far from my thoughts...

Most of my postings from here on in will be at the following:

http://www.myspace.com/beabonemarrowdonor

Hope to see you there...

With love and thanks to everyone
Leslie

Monday, February 26, 2007 6:43 PM CST

"But How Did You Know Something Was Wrong?�

�We have no right to ask when sorrow comes, �Why did this happen to me?� unless we are willing to ask the same question for every moment of happiness that comes our way.� ---Author Unknown

One of the first questions cancer parents are often asked when people find out a child has cancer is �How did you find out --- how did you know something was wrong?� It�s a little like rubber-necking at an automobile accident --- people want to see what happened, to understand for themselves, and to know what to watch for, so they can make sure they don�t see it in their own children. It�s a normal, instinctive quality that makes us want to do our best to protect our children and to educate ourselves, to be wary of anything that could harm them.

The answers for how leukemia presents itself, and how the parents and doctors discover it, are similar in many stories, but can also be varied. (Tricky, eh?) Other childhood cancers can present in other, diverse ways, as well.

With leukemia and lymphoma many of the signs and symptoms that something is wrong mimic the signs and symptoms of common childhood illnesses, so it can be misleading. Children often run a fever, or complain of back, arm or leg pain. Children might be pale, will sometimes bruise more easily, or have small red pinpricks on their skin, called petechia. Depending on how rapidly the disease is progressing, they will often fatigue quickly, and might begin taking naps again. There might even be masses present, or enlargement of the spleen, liver, or lymph nodes. If platelets are low, nosebleeds might suddenly occur.

Does this mean all children who suddenly seem pale, run a fever, take a nap, complain that their arm or leg hurts, get a nosebleed, or develop bruises should be checked for cancer? Of course not. What kid doesn't exhibit something like that, at some point? Conversely, sometimes, children with cancer will have no symptoms at all �. The cancer can be caught by accident on a routine blood check, or as a fluke during a well-child visit.

Regardless, cancer parents, especially NEW cancer parents, often find themselves analyzing the days and weeks leading up to diagnosis, wondering if there was a clue they should have seen, or a sign they might have missed. Wondering how on earth this could have been happening, right in front of their eyes, and them NOT KNOW about it. Some parents suspect cancer immediately. Some parents research the internet and come up with the correct diagnosis before even seeing a doctor. Some parents have a hunch something is wrong but aren�t sure what. But many parents are completely blindsided by the diagnosis.

It�s a safe bet that ALL cancer parents, at some point in time, wonder what they could have done to prevent it. Or what they might have done that caused it. Or what they might NOT have done that caused it. It�s human nature to want to protect our children, and it's human nature to feel as through we have somehow failed when a crisis of this magnitude befalls our child, especially when we didn�t see it coming.

Five Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me, Right Off The Bat:

1. Nothing I did caused this.

2. Nothing I didn�t do caused this.

3. There is nothing I could have done to prevent this.

4. Even children who are immunized, breast-fed, given vitamins, kept clean, dry, fed, safe, and loved beyond measure can get cancer.

5. It is not your fault; it is not anyone�s fault; there is no-one to be mad at. That�s a little hard to swallow, because you will want to be mad at someone, but get used to it. There is NO ONE to blame, and that includes you.

6. DO NOT GIVE UP, EVER!

Friday, February 9, 2007 8:10 PM CST

A POEM I FOUND ON THE NET...SAYS VOLUMES ABOUT ALL OF THE GREAT NURSES THAT WERE INVOLVED WITH CHRIS'S CARE...FOR NURSES EVERYWHERE..FOR WHAT YOU DO...THANKYOU...

The Silent Hero

A young man lies alone in his bed,
Who knows what thoughts he has in his head?
No one can know... for he cannot speak.
He's been withdrawn for more than a week.

He's dazed and frightened as he lies there alone.
There's pain in his eyes where once happiness shown.
No one can reach him... they just don't stand a chance.
'Til she walks in the room and makes his heart dance.

She's the angel of mercy that he sees all day long.
She's the music and lyrics to his heart's joyful song.
She's the one who supplies him with all his wants & needs.
She's the one to tends to him when his wounds start to bleed.

Now that night has subsided and morning is near,
As his eyes start to focus, his breathing to clear,
The doctors get kudos and the credit it seems,
But it's the nurse beside him he finds in his dreams.

That unpraised savior who's all dressed in white.
The angel who's never out of his sight.
She's the true hero to this sick young man.
The guardian angel who holds his hand.
***********************************************************

I do not take credit for writing this poem I just found it on the net, and felt a need to post it...to let you nurses know how special you are...

Thursday, January 25, 2007 7:28 PM CST

Myspace Layouts

Check out my new webpage at MySpace

Check me out!

Thanks again to all my faithful readers...its hard to believe we are coming up to the two year mark of Christophers passing...Feb. 28th...wow...

Talk soon friends

Wednesday, January 10, 2007 8:32 PM CST

Please go to :

www.findagrave.com

and leave Chris some flowers...

just type in his name Chris Gist and it will link you to his find a grave page...

sort of like his memorial page...but a little different..you can leave a note along with the flowers or whatever avatars u have...

Thanks all

Hugs

Wednesday, January 3, 2007 10:38 PM CST

The pain of losing Chris seems to at times be getting worse...I seem to be a lot more weepy this year than last year...maybe its partially because of my new surroundings and not socializing much anymore...maybe its because its winter and I need something to occupy my mind more...if it were summer I'd be out gardening...maybe its just the way my life will always be now...

Maybe it hormomes :)

Anyway, heres a poem that brings me to tears everytime I read it, written by another grieving mom...it really hits the nail on the head...no matter how long our child has been gone the pain is as fresh as the day they passed...hopefully time will ease the sorrow...

This poem was not written by me, but it really says it all:

You ask me how I'm feeling,
but do you really want to know?
The moment I try telling you
You say you have to go

How can I tell you,
what it's been like for me
I am haunted, I am broken
By things that you don't see

You ask me how I'm holding up,
but do you really care?
The second I try to speak my heart,
You start squirming in your chair.

Because I am so lonely,
you see, no one comes around,
I'll take the words I want to say
And quietly choke them down.

Everyone avoids me now,
Because they don't know what to say
They tell me I'll be there for you,
then turn and walk away.

Call me if you need me,
that's what everybody said,
But how can I call you and scream
into the phone,
My God, my child is dead?

No one will let me
say the words I need to say
Why does a mothers grief
scare everyone away?

I am tired of pretending
as my heart pounds in my chest,
I say things to make you comfortable,
but my soul finds no rest.

How can I tell you things
that are too sad to be told,
of the helplessness of holding a child
who in your arms grows cold?

Maybe you can tell me,
How should one behave,
who's had to follow their childs casket,
watched it perched above a grave?

You cannot imagine
what it was like for me that day
to place a final kiss upon that box,
and have to turn and walk away.

If you really love me,
and I believe you do,
if you really want to help me,
here is what I need from you.

Sit down beside me,
reach out and take my hand,
Say "My friend, I've come to listen,
I want to understand."

Just hold my hand and listen
that's all you need to do,
And if by chance I shed a tear,
it's alright if you do to.

I swear that I'll remember
till the day I'm very old,
the friend who sat and held my hand
and let me bare my soul.

Kelly Cummings
12/8/03

Sunday, December 31, 2006 4:56 PM CST

TagWorld New Year Graphics

Thursday, December 28, 2006 11:26 AM CST

Well, I made it through another christmas without Chris, didn't even cry...I had white candles lit around a pic of him on the sideboard so he could be with us during dinner...

The holiday did not go with out a hitch though...

Early boxing day morning around 4:30 am my stepson came and woke us up to say there was something wrong with Fraser!

They'd been up drinking almost all night and playing video games...so I thought it was booze related whatever it may have been,

however, it was nothing to do with booze, Fraser was having a severe allergic reaction to a caramilk chocolate bar!
He was covered in huge red blotches all over, from head to feet! He'd already taken two benedryls about an hour before but when he stayed that red, Len thought he'd better tell us, Fraser was about ready to come and get me at that point also.

Needless to say I took him to ER and they gave him prednisone there and a script to take 8 pills daily for the next 3 days incase he had a rebound reaction...they also wrote a script for epipen but can't afford that right now its about $200 for one syringe!

this chocolate bar said trace amount of nuts...well..I guess its obvious that trace is enough for him to react..this allergy only started to manifest in the past couple of years as far as we can tell...he is fine with peanuts...but any other type of nuts FORGET IT, including coconut he thinks...
Last year at his dads at xmas he came home and told me he'd broken out in nasty hives after eating something...

I think its time to get him allergy tested...!

Thankyou Debbie and Wendi for the gifts, I am gonna kill you guys.........:)

Got your card Mrs. Pam, who was the artist, tell the artist they did a wonderful angel drawing of Christopher, just got the card yesterday...

Sunday, December 24, 2006 6:19 PM CST

Christmas Treasures
by Edgar Guest

I count my treasures o'er with care,---
The little toy my darling knew,
A little sock of faded hue,
A little lock of golden hair.

Long years ago this holy time,
My little one -- my all to me --
Sat robed in white upon my knee,
And heard the merry Christmas chime.

"Tell me, my little golden-head,
If Santa Claus should come to-night,
What shall he bring my baby bright, --
What treasure for my boy?" I said.

And then he named this little toy,
While in his round and mournful eyes
There came a look of sweet surprise,
That spake his quiet, trustful joy.

And as he lisped his evening prayer
He asked the boon with childish grace;
Then, toddling to the chimney-place,
He hung this little stocking there.

That night, while lengthening shadows crept,
I saw the white-winged angels come
With singing to our lowly home
And kiss my darling as he slept.

They must have heard his little prayer,
For in the morn, with rapturous face,
He toddled to the chimney-place,
And found this little treasure there.

They came again one Christmas-tide, --
That angel host, so fair and white;
And, singing all that glorious night,
They lured my darling from my side.

A little sock, a little toy,
A little lock of golden hair,
The Christmas music on the air,
A watching for my baby boy!

But if again that angel came
And golden-head come back for me,
To bear me to Eternity,
My watching will not be in vain.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays
Leslie

Wednesday, December 13, 2006 2:01 PM CST

People wonder how they can help spread the word about the Unrelated Bone Marrow Donor Registry. Now you can invite a family member , a friend or colleague to join the Registry with a personalized e-card.

Simply visit www.blood.ca/ecards and send a message.

The success of the Registry relies on the support of communities and generous people like you. Help give hope to patients in need by sending an e-card today....do it for Christopher and so many others...

SOME INFO ON BONE MARROW DONATION IN CANADA

DID YOU KNOW?

85% of Registry members are Caucasian. Asians make up 3.8%, with East Indians at 2.2% and Aborignals making up 1% of the Registry members. Hispanic and Blacks each make up less than 1% of the Registry members, with the remaining members being from different ethnic backgrounds or of unspecified ethnicities.

The Canadian Registry has access to more than 11 million potential donors, as they have international cooperation with over 58 registries worldwide.

Canada and the U.S. have a long history of cooperation. In fact, the U.S. National Marrow Donor Program (NMDP) facilitated its first international marrow transplant in 1988 when when a U.S. patient recieved marrow collected from a Canadian donor.

CANADIAN REGISTRY FACTS: (for 2005)

Number of Registrants: 221,836

Average Registrant age: 39

241 Canadian Unrelated transplants (this is what Chris had)-42 were Canadian Donors to Canadian patients (this was the case with Chris and his donor) and 199 were International donors to Canadian patients.

Canadian donors to International donors were 48

Canadian Blood Services (www.blood.ca) facilitated 202 cord searches for Canadian patients and 49 cord blood transplant to Canadian patients

Canadian Transplant Centres: 18

Canadian Collection Centres: 10

International Registries: 58

International Cord Blood Banks: 38

***********************************************************

To be on the Canadian Registry you must be between 17-60 (to join you must be between the ages of 17-50)

Be in good general health

Be willing to donate to anyone requiring a stem cell transplant......

Thats it, its that simple...you can help save a life

*all above info supplied by The Unrelated Bone Marrow Registry Newsletter

Thursday, November 23, 2006 10:36 PM CST

First off...........let me tell you how heart warming it is for me to log on here and check the guestbook and still see folks signing in.....you have no idea how much it means to me...thankyou everyone for your kind words.

I don't post as often now because frankly, DIAL UP connection sucks LOL, it takes foreverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...but rest assured I will still continue to post!

So, what have I been up to...?

I am going with Ian tomorrow night to meet a few other bereaved parents as a result of me writing the letter to the editor of our local paper a couple of weeks ago...I met with one of the moms last week, she lost her 19 year old son in a car accident three years ago this past week...we hit it off right away...

Yesterday in the local paper there was an article about a young girl also 19 that passed away from cancer that lived just down the road from us, her mom has been granted foundation status for her daughters foundation called Trish's Wish...

I really felt compelled to call her because the foundation is not just for kids with cancer, but for any family with a child that has an illness that requires long term care...basically a foundation to help out these families with some much needed cash..and believe me I can relate to how difficult that issue becomes with a long term illness, or if the child must travel out of town for treatments...I think its a brilliant idea!

So, I did it, I called her and I explained to her how I know first hand the need for such a foundation, the thought of starting something similar often occured to me...how can I help? Well, she asked if I would be interested in helping on the committee, so I glady said YES...I will let you all know how both meetings with my new found friends goes!

As far as my grief status.....still have days where suddenly it hits again like a knife to the heart that Chris is really gone, but mostly now that I reflect...it pains me so much when I realize how much this young man suffered for over 4 years, those are the visions and thoughts that invade my mind now, especially at night...
I still sleep with his hoody and sleep pants...but the days are getting easier. I am sure meeting these new folks with help me a great deal, I've not met anyone yet(except Ingrid) since I've moved...but tomorrow that will all change!

I actually am sort of getting in the Christmas spirit...I decorated outside today with lights and garland etc, haven't started inside as yet, but I feel the urge coming :)

THis year we are having Christmas dinner here, and I actually am looking forward to it...of course a huge element will be missing, my baby Chris, but he will be here with us in spirit, I will light a candle at the dinner table in his honour...

Sometimes I think its Chris urging me on to carry on with the tradition of Christmas...he loved Christmas...but what kid doesn't?

Jeff-O.........thanks bud for still checking up on Chris's page.....it really means alot to me...Chris thought you were the greatest...just want you to know....

Hugs all

Sunday, November 5, 2006 1:18 AM CST

Ya know...........sometimes you just have to wonder, do they hear us?
This is weird....

Last week I wrote a letter to te editor of my now local paper 'The Lindsay Post'.

I wrote to ask if any other bereaved parents might be interested in perhaps starting a Memorial Butterfly Garden for our lost children....

I got one reply at my email address...a couple that lost their son at age 28, three weeks after his wife gave birth to his son...

We've emailed back and forth, and they also have a support group they started for bereaved parents...I will attend the next meeting...

this couple showed my letter to the editor to another woman that also has lost a son, same age as my Chris, she has a younger son age 20, (my youngest will be 20 soon) she emailed me today....

the strange thing is, and this may be just a fluke, or is it something else, considering we've moved almost 1.5 hrs. away....

She graduated grade 13 at the same high school that Chris and Fraser and my step son attended....
she also along with her brother went to the same public school as kids...

Her brothers kids go to the same school right now as we speak....
They grew up just around the corner from where we lived...

tell me.....is this not a little strange...

thankyou boys, for bringing us together....

Sometimes, ya just have to scratch your head...and wonder...! Thankyou to our precious Angels for bringing us all together...

Sunday, October 29, 2006 8:20 PM CST

When a Parent is Grieving the Loss of a Child

This section has been reviewed and approved by the PLWC Editorial Board, 4/05

The death of a child is an enormous tragedy. The despair and pain that follow a child's death is thought by many to exceed all other bereavement experiences. The death of a child is always untimely and encompasses the loss of a beloved child and the loss of the anticipated future together. Parents are simply not supposed to outlive their children and no parent is prepared for a child's death. The parent-child bond is one of the most intense relationships and children are emotionally and biologically a part of their parents. Many parents who have lost a child feel that a part of them has died, too.

The length of a child's life does not determine the size of the loss. Parents are intimately involved in the daily lives of young children and their death changes every aspect of family life, often leaving an enormous emptiness. Parents may be less involved in the everyday lives of older children and adolescents, but death at this age occurs just when children are beginning to reach their potential and become independent individuals. When an adult child dies, parents not only lose a child, but often a close friend, a link to grandchildren, and an irreplaceable source of emotional and practical support. Parents who lose an only child also lose their identity as parents, and perhaps the possibility of grandchildren.

When any child dies, parents grieve the loss of possibilities and all of the hopes and dreams they had for their child. They grieve the potential that will never be realized and the experiences they will never share. When a child dies, a part of the future dies along with them.

Common grief reactions

Grief reactions following the death of a child are similar to those following other losses, but are often more intense and prolonged. In addition to the grief reactions described in Understanding Grief and Loss, the following are commonly experienced by parents:
Intense shock, confusion, disbelief, and denial�this is true even if the child's death was expected

Overwhelming sadness and despair�facing daily tasks or even getting out of bed can seem impossible

Extreme guilt�some parents will feel they have failed in their role as their child's protector and will dwell on what they could have done differently

Intense anger and feelings of bitterness and unfairness at a life left unfulfilled

Fear or dread of being alone and overprotectiveness of surviving children

Feelings of resentment toward parents with healthy children

Feeling that life has no meaning and wishing to be released from the pain or to join the deceased child

Questioning or loss of faith or spiritual beliefs�assumptions about the world and how things should be do not fit with the reality of a child's death

Dreaming about the child or feeling the child's presence nearby

Feeling intense loneliness and isolation, even when with other people�parents often feel that the magnitude of their loss separates them from others as no one can truly understand how they feel
Some people expect that grief should be resolved over the course of a year, but this is not true. The initial severe and all-consuming grief is not experienced continuously with such intensity; rather periods of intense grief come and go over a period of 18 months or more. Over time, waves of grief gradually become less intense and less frequent, but feelings of sadness and loss will likely always remain.

Developmental milestones in the lives of other children can trigger renewed grief even years after a child's death. Significant days such as graduations, weddings, or the first day of a new school year are common grief triggers. Parents frequently find themselves thinking about how old their child would be or what he or she would look like or be doing if he or she were still alive.

Gender differences in grieving

Mothers and fathers may grieve in different ways. One parent may find talking helps, while the other may need quiet time to grieve alone. Cultural expectations and role differences also affect how men and women grieve. Men are often expected to control their emotions, to be strong, and to take charge of the family. Women may be expected to cry openly and to want to talk about their grief. A working father may become more involved in his job to escape the sadness and daily reminders at home. A stay-at-home mother may be surrounded by constant reminders and may feel devoid of purpose now that her job as caregiver has abruptly ended. This is especially true for a parent who spent months or even years caring for a child with cancer.

Differences in grieving can cause relationship difficulties at a time when parents need each other's support the most. One parent may believe that the other is not grieving properly or that a lack of open grief means he or she loved the child less. It is important for parents to talk openly about their grief and for each parent to understand and accept the other's coping style.

Helping siblings who are grieving

Parents are the focus of attention when a child dies and the grief of siblings is sometimes overlooked. The death of a sibling is a tremendous loss for a child�they lose a family member, a confidant, and a life-long friend. Parents are often preoccupied with the needs of a sick child and then become overwhelmed with their own grief when the child dies. The surviving siblings may misinterpret the parents' grief as a message that they�rather than the child who died�would have been the parent's choice, or that they are not important enough to make life worth living for the parents. Helping a Child or Teenager Who is Grieving provides suggestions for helping siblings understand and cope with grief. Parents can also help siblings in the following ways:
Make grief a shared family experience and include children in discussions about memorial plans.

Spend as much time as possible with the surviving children�spend time talking about the deceased child, as well as time just playing together or doing something enjoyable.

Make sure siblings understand that they are not responsible for the child's death and help them let go of regrets and guilt.

Never compare siblings to the deceased child and make sure children know that you don't expect them to "fill in" for the deceased child.

Set reasonable limits on their behavior, but try not to be either overprotective or overly permissive. It is normal to feel protective of surviving children.

Ask a close family member or friend to spend extra time with siblings if your own grief prevents you from giving them the attention they need.
Helping yourself grieve

In addition to the coping strategies discussed in Help for When You are Grieving, the following suggestions may help grieving parents:
Talk about your child often and use his or her name.

Ask family and friends for help with housework, errands, and taking care of other children�this will give you important time to think, remember, and grieve.

Take time deciding what to do with your child's belongings�don't rush to pack up your child's room or to give away toys and clothes.

Prepare ahead of time for how to respond to difficult questions like "How many children do you have?" or comments like "At least you have other children"�remember that people aren't trying to hurt you, they just don't know what to say.

Prepare ahead for how you want to spend significant days such as your child's birthday or the anniversary of your child's death�you may want to spend the day looking at photos and sharing memories or start a family tradition such as planting flowers.

Because of the intensity and isolation of parental grief, parents may especially benefit from a support group, such as The Compassionate Friends, where they can share their experiences with other parents who understand their grief and can offer hope.

Finding meaning in life

Parents report that they never really "get over" the death of a child, but rather learn to live with the loss. The death of a child can force parents to rethink their priorities and reexamine the meaning of life. It may seem impossible to newly grieving parents, but parents do go on to find happiness and reinvest in life again. An important step for many parents is to create a legacy for their child and make their child's life, no matter how short, have a more complete purpose. Parents may choose to honor their child by volunteering at a local hospital or a cancer support organization. Parents may work to support interests their child once had, start a memorial fund, or plant trees in their child's memory. It is important to remember that it is never disloyal to the deceased child to re-engage in life and to find pleasure in new experiences.

Every child changes the lives of his or her parents. Children show us new ways to love, new things to find joy in, and new ways look to at the world. A part of each child's legacy is that the changes he or she brings to a family continue after the child's death. The memories of joyful moments you spent with your child and the love you shared will live on and always be a part of you.

Friday, October 27, 2006 7:20 PM CDT

We do not need a special day,
to bring you to our minds.
The days we do not think of you,
are very hard to find.

Our hearts still ache with sadness,
and secret tears still flow.
What it meant to lose you,
noone will ever know.

There will always be a heartache,
and often a silent tear.
But always a precious memory,
of the days when you were here.

Monday, October 23, 2006 12:02 AM CDT

October 23, 2003 Christopher had his unrelated bone marrow transplant....thankyou Linda, for giving him and us some more time together....

I've located a cemetary database and I've included Chris there, its also like a virtual cemetary where u can leave flowers and a note if you can't actually get to the cemetary.
Just type in his name Christopher Gist

Its really very interesting, maybe you will find a long lost relative if you search there!

www.findagrave.com

I was just re-reading my introduction on the CB homepage for Chris, and the emotion overcame me yet again...
Just reading the brief synopsis of what this kid went through breaks my heart...this is a grief that will always have tears right at the surface, sometimes I think my tears are really tears of admiration for Chris's strength of character, I really doubt I could endure all he went through...what an amazing young man...thankfully we both are strong...
Pray for a cure for all!

Please remember Chris at his memorial page link listed below, or the new memorial at
www.findagrave.com

Hugs

Friday, October 13, 2006 10:38 AM CDT

Please check out what my buddy ROB DYER that founded

skate4cancer.com has been up to!

He is the new milleniums cross between Terry Fox and Lance Armstrong.......

I strongly urge everyone to support this super young man and his team...I personally know him and his heart is HUGE!

Support Rob and his team, thankyou!

www.skate4cancer.com

An inspiring young man...

Hugs

Saturday, October 7, 2006 9:24 PM CDT

Greetings friends, so nice to know that some folks still actually check this page...

I don't sign on as much because I only have dial up connection here in the country and its sooooooooooslooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwww

I've been doing ok, same as usual, Chris is on my mind with everything I do...I guess it will always be that way...

I sent my resume in for a job, so I will keep you posted on what happens if anything with that...I'd be very surprised if I didn't at least get an interview.

We are going to Ian sister's house tomorrow for Thanksgiving, and I will be heading to Chris's grave to plant some bulbs for spring and hang some garden mums on his hook....his head stone is in the shop, so hopefully soon we will get it completed...

If anyone out there know of any avid skateboarders, I would love to hear some suggestions they may come up with to put on Chris's stone as he was an avid skateboarder...something that would describe a skateboarders passion, so perhaps I could have it inscribed on his stone...I am not into the lingo so I need some boarders to come up with something witty!

I have'nt seen my son Fraser for a few weeks now :( I miss the little bugger, he's so cute, but I will see him tomorrow at dinner...
Fraser has been living at my good friend Julie's house pretty much since we've moved, she's his second mom LOL

Fraser has been unable to come up as much now because he's gone back to school on Thursdays and the rest of the time including weekends he works...miss ya TATA...LOVE YA

Well, think I am going to bed soon, hope all is well with everyone, don't think I am ignoring your CB pages and such,,its just such a hassle with this dial up!

Happy Thanksgiving Christopher, I will light a candle at your spot at the dinner table for you...Miss you, love you....

Forever Mom

Saturday, September 16, 2006 9:18 PM CDT

So happy to see you make an entry Dale.(Justin's dad) Justin was one of the kids in the PBS documentary ' Lion In the House' Dale, because our kids are still with us in spirit is why we all get involved in one way or the other...sad to say out of the group of maybe 150 people at our LLS walk there was only two white balloons (survivors) all the rest were red..(supporters of those walking for someone that either lost the battle, or are still fighting )
They really should make a balloon for those that have fought and lost the brave fight...

I must admit for the past week I've been very depressed...a mess actually...hormomes? grief..depression a multitude of reasons? Perhaps turning the big 50 next Friday?????? Who knows...? Tonight I am okay...but boy its been rough, weeping all week, insomnia, yesterday I didn't sleep till 8am...average around 6:30 to 7am....

Also I must admit, tonight I fell off the wagon and smoked 6 cigarettes........I am so ashamed of myself.......

But I can climb back on the wagon again, that much I know...
One day Christopher.......I PROMISE YOU I will do it....

LOve ya all

Saturday, September 9, 2006 10:45 PM CDT

Hi Folks,

Well, I did it, I did the Light the Night Walk with Ian...5 kms....(3Miles) no problem! I really thought it would be tough for me since I am so out of shape, however it was a piece of cake.

It was a fairly small event in the town (Peterborough) just outside of Lindsay where we live...this is only the second year the walk has taken place...so hopefully it will grow each year...the best thing would be to not need the walks at all, but we all know the reality of this disease...so lets hope the word gets out and more people get on board...I would so love to see this get as much publicity as Breast Cancer does!

A BIG THANKYOU to ALL that donated to the cause...it was because of you folks I did this...I was getting very emotional on the drive to the walk, don't exactly know why but it hit me hard for a while, but then it was the first thing I've done publicly in the name of cancer since Chris died...

I was so inspired that next Sunday I am going to enter the Terry Fox run here in Lindsay (won't be running LOL, just walking)........5 to 10 kilometers, I think I may just try for 10kms.............after all............

I've quit smoking!

THANKYOU ALL AGAIN
LOVE YA TONS
LESLIE

Saturday, August 26, 2006 7:25 PM CDT

I think its time for an update, I need to see more guestbook entries, it seems to be slowing down so much that I am not sure if I should continue this...let me know folks!

Last night I heard a song that got the tears going big time...by Kenny Chesney......Who You'd Be Today...boy for a parent thats lost a child that one is a killer...had me sobbing the entire night.......

Today I went with Ian to the local golf coarse and drove the cart, it was alot of fun....Ian let me putt once and try a long shot with the driver...LOL, I took out a huge divot (thats golf talk for taking a chunck of grass)...hit the ground first instead of the ball and jarred my wrist...none the less, I dare say I may just try an actual golf game with Ian...he says he is looking forward to that day, but I am not so sure he's be honest LOL....

Thankyou to all of you that have donated to my walk coming up Sept. 9th for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society...to find the link to donate, just go back to the previous journal entry.......every penny counts....

You can get to my fundraising by going through www.lightthenight.org, and either go to the Canadian page or just use the 'search for particpant' type in Leslie Gist when you get there and you will see my donation page!

DAWN!!! Great to hear from you! I am SO HAPPY to hear Owen is doing great!

16 years old now........wow time flies...keep up the great work OWEN :)

Hugs

Monday, August 21, 2006 10:20 PM CDT

Hi all!

Just being amazed at the insect life up here! Seeing things I've not seen since I was a kid, and seeing things that I've never witnessed before in life!

Saturday we had our old neighbours up and we noticed a lot of Monarch butterflies landing in the maple tree we sat under...ended up last count there was at least 14 Monarch butterflies setting up to roost for the night on a small dead branch, looking just like the dead leaves when they settled........it was awesome.

Today I saw a Hummingbird Moth for the second time in my life, and I yelled for my sister to come look, she also was amazed at this creature...

Walking Sticks, KatyDids.......all kinds of super cool insect life, facinating...

I spent the day turning over the huge compost pile and loading up the trailer for my garden tractor and spreading the gold earth on a part of the garden in the back that I am making into (hopefully) a butterfly garden........

My donations for my walk for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society is not going as well as expected but at least there are some donations, every penny helps...and its for a good cause...if only the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society had the same person behind them that Breast Cancer has we'd be raising tons more money, kudos to whoever is the brains behing the Breast Cancer Fundraising...any funds raised for cancer of any sort, is still working toward a goal of a cure...cure one type of cancer and we could be on our way to curing all types...........

Deadline for donations for my walk is Sept 9th, that is the day I and many others will be joining together for this walk.....
Hope you donate...
http://www.active.com/donate/ltneor/1974_Leslie56
Hugs,
Leslie

Wednesday, August 16, 2006 2:42 PM CDT

Hope this picture comes through; if not, it shows a line of little girls holding hands facing the immensity of ocean waves.
Alone they might be washed away, but together they stand strong.
Thank you each for holding my hand somewhere along the way when I was facing a wave of my own.
I hope you will reach for my hand when your own wave threatens.

All of us girls..
Old and young...
Near and far...
Hold special memories of good times we've shared.
We've had our share of hard times when our friends were there to make us feel better.
We've shared...
our hearts
our time
our secrets
our fears
our hopes
and our dreams.
Let us never break the chain of friends!

Wednesday, August 2, 2006 9:56 AM CDT

Greetings!

I am raising money for The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society as a participant in their Light The Night Walk and I'm asking you to help by making a contribution. Each donation helps accelerate cures for leukemia, lymphoma and myeloma and brings hope to the patients and families who are on the front lines of the battle against these diseases.

Please use the link in this email to donate online quickly and securely. You will receive a confirmation by email of your donation and I will be notified as soon as you make your donation.

On behalf of The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, thank you very much for your support. I really appreciate your generosity!

You can learn more about my efforts and make a donation by visiting the following Web site:

http://www.active.com/donate/ltneor/1974_Leslie56

http://www.active.com/donate/ltneor/1974_Leslie56

P.S. Please forward this email to as many people as you can to encourage them to donate as well! If you'd like to learn more about the Light The Night Walk, please visit http://www.lightthenight.org

I AM DOING THIS WALK IN MEMORY OF MY SON CHRISTOPHER, HE FOUGHT T CELL LYMPHOBLASTIC LYMPHOMA FOR 5 YEARS AND SADLY EVEN AFTER AN UNRELATED BONE MARROW TRANSPLANT PASSED AWAY LAST YEAR AT AGE 19....

YOU CAN LEARN MORE ABOUT CHRIS'S BATTLE AT
www.caringbridge.org/ca/christophersfight (a five year online journal)

www.christophergist.memory-of.com

Sunday, July 30, 2006 8:53 PM CDT

So glad to see folks still posting in the guestbook...!

I am loving it here.....so many cool insects, gardening to do...talking with PJ my cow next door and just enjoying the outdoors!

The boys have been up here every weekend since we've moved...my neighbour informs me that no one has moved into our house yet!!!

I've not missed the old house at all, I have been comforted by the fact that the flowers and hanging basket I put in for Chris at his grave are being taken care of...thankyou..! I was really worried about not being there thru the hot days to water his plants...

Lucy (aka Blondie) is still having an ongoing love affair with PJ the cow LOL

The wife of the farmer next door came by last week with her daughter with a homemade raspberry pie to welcome us to the neighbourhood, and another lady came by from further down the road with homemade chocolate chip cookies for us, I missed her, I was out...

Every one seems so friendly round here, not like in a city...such a wonderful change....

I still think of Chris everyday...miss him, but I am doing so much better emotionally being out here!

The big news is....I bit my nails something terrrible for years and since I moved here I have stopped chewing my nails!!!!!!!!
No urge to bite them at all! Its amazing...:)

Alsia, Rosi, and such, hey if u ever want a trip let me know, you are welcome to come here...type in Kawartha Lakes to see the area...

Its so nice here.........

Hugs to all........
P.S. those of you that lurk, its time u said hello again in the guestbook!

Thursday, July 13, 2006 12:15 AM CDT

Greetings from the new house in the country!

So far all is going well, had to learn how to hang laundry the right way on a clothes line, re did it 3 times before we finally figured out there is a connecter thingy so the line won't droop from the weight of the laundry LOL...thats what happens when a city slicker tries homesteading LOL

TONS of butterflies here, amazing...can't wait to get going on planting more flowers....

The dogs have a new best friend next door named PJ...she is a brown cow...Lucy and PJ are best of buddies, darn cow almost gave me heart failure a few times....she suddenly lets out this BELLOW off and on during the day... really loud and she sounds just like a baby elephant instead of a cow LOL
The farmer introduced himself to us and said she never did this before we moved in, she's all by herself and I really think she is calling for the dogs to come to the fence to visit with her, she always comes when she's called and just hangs with the dogs...its sooooooo cool...

So far so good, learning the country ropes...thankfully we are only about 3 mins from the town, and the town of Lindsay is way bigger than Aurora!

Still don't have a stove and fridge so I am really roughing it, just using BBQ and little bar fridge...

Gotta run for now...will post again soon
Please note new email

leslieandian@gmail.com
or
ianandleslie@sympatico.ca (just the names have been switched around)

Hugs

Saturday, July 8, 2006 10:39 AM CDT

Well folks, moving day is Monday July 10th, and I am feeling good about the move so far, I was certain I'd be a mess, but you know, this house holds no love for me now.

This house will never feel the same as when we had Chris here, especially before he took ill and passed...its not a home anymore to me, its a shell...

I don't know when I will get back online, we are going to be fairly busy for a while...

but, I WILL BE BACK!

Hugs to all

Sunday, July 2, 2006 7:19 PM CDT

Well, one week before we move! I am only concerned that I won't be able to water Chris's plants at the grave...

My sister basically signed herself out of the hospital and is no better...after living through suicide with my mom, I realise that if my sister is hell bent on comitting suicide then eventually she will go through with it...I am prepared for that day...
The medical system here really sucks when it comes to mental health issues..
but even the best medical help means nothing if the patient won't attempt to help themselves...

It's evident to me that some of us are born to survive and some of us are not...that is the long and short of it!

What a life some of us lead...

See ya soon folks...

Wednesday, June 28, 2006 10:15 PM CDT

Tonight I watched 'A Lion in The House' a real life documentary following families of kids with cancer...
I mentioned in a previous post that it was going to air June 21 and 22 but here in Ontario, Canada it didn't air then...
luckily I caught it tonight on PBS (WNED) it started at 9pm and ended at 11pm, I think tomorrow at the same time part two airs...its reality...and I really hope anyone reading this that lives in Ontario can bring themselves to watch the last part tomorrow if you missed tonight...

they are following three kids at this point, a young girl, a 15 year old boy (same age Chris was diagnosed) and another young fella that is now 20 that has been fighting leukemia for 10 years...both boys remind me so much of the things Chris went through...its a tough show to watch but really will give those of you that have been lucky enough not to go through this nightmare a glimpse of what we families and the kids really go through

A LION IN THE HOUSE...

Let me know in the guestbook if you watch it...

Hugs

Tuesday, June 13, 2006 4:11 PM CDT

I had my sis put in the hospital on Thursday, she was feeling sucidal...she says she did'nt do it because she didn't want me to be the one to find her, since I was the one that found our mother that committed suicide at age 40...lets hope Sally finally gets the help she needs...!

Boy could I do with a break!

To see the stories of MANY children fighting a multitude of illness please visit the following link:

http://www.helenhudspith.com/banners

Helen is a very special lady that makes banners for so many sick children, their banners and links to their caringbridge pages....

Please read the poem below.....

HOLD THEM A LITTLE CLOSER
I pray you never walk through
The agony I've known
I pray that all your little ones
Will stay until they've grown.
I pray that you can really hear
My brokenhearted cries
So you will know the anguish
When a child dies.

I pray it makes you hold them
Closer to your breast
And savor every moment
As if it were the best.
For none of us can ever know
How soon they will be gone
And all we'll have are memories
To hold us in the dawn.

Oh dear and tired mother
Of rambunctious little lambs
Do not grow weary of washing
And helping little hands.
Remember that these precious ones
May not be with us long
And we will have to suffer
Such pain when they are gone
So when you cry at one more day
Of toys spread on the floor
Think of if they weren't there
To mess up anymore.
Think of all the precious things
You'll miss and wish you had
you'll see those things that irked you so
They weren't all that bad.

Hold them closer for awhile
And stroke their silky hair
And touch them gently once for me
I wish that I were there.
For as I cry out for my daughter
Who cannot feel my touch
My heart cries out to tell you all
you can never love too much.

Copyright 1997 Vickilynn Haycraft
August1,1997

Stop in a say hi to the kids in their guestbooks...Chris's banner is there also...

Thankyou Helen for the wonderful work you do.

Sunday, June 11, 2006 10:14 AM CDT

PACKING, PACKING and more PACKING.......I HATE PACKING....

July 10th is moving day.....its coming up fast and it seems like I've got nothing done...

I went to our local animal pound a couple of days ago...and came home with a pal for our English Setter, there was a beautiful female German Shorthair Pointer there..well, she is here with us now and is a wonderful dog.

We named her Winnie, she is 2 years old and her and Lucy (Blondie) get along as if they were littermates! They are the BEST of buds, share food, water, everything! Couldn't have got luckier with a rescue dog, its like she's been here with us from the beginning...and really smart as well!

Its great seeing Lucy so happy with a new buddy, they just love each other!

Thursday, June 1, 2006 7:03 PM CDT

New journal

http://mysonmyhero.livejournal.com/

try both if one won't get you there, I've been trying them and sometimes it works and sometimes it won't...?
Let me know if you make it there!

just incase because I don't post as much here now CB decided to get rid of my journal.......I hope they don't!

Sunday, May 28, 2006 10:00 AM CDT

Tomorrow is Christophers 21'st birthday.......

I miss you baby......

Happy Birthday wherever you are!

Love always and forever Mom

Wednesday, May 17, 2006 10:13 AM CDT

I started a new journal...at
http://mysonmyhero.livejournal.com

I've taken this message from another mom from a discussion board...I have heard about this film and almost forgot about it's debut coming up...

Its a documentary about what families really go through with childhood cancer...its going to be very difficult to watch for any one...I advise many boxes of kleenex...it is reality...right up to death....

A real learning experience for those of you fortunate enough not to have to live this dreaded disease that attacks so many children...

PLEASE WATCH IT...

Here is the moms post:

just got home from a screening of the upcoming PBS childhood cancer documentary, A LION IN THE HOUSE. It was incredibly moving, emotional, funny, upsetting...just about every emotion under the sun. I laughed and cried out loud. It gets so close to the kids that you just fall in love with them. It also takes you through immense heartache, right along with them and their families. All the children in the documentary are fighting blood cancers, and not all win their battles. I know we've mentioned this documentary here before, but I wanted to bring it up again and tell you about it. If you can handle getting emotional, I think it's worth viewing. I cried and cried. I'm just sure I'm gonna wake up in the morning with a "cried all night" headache.
I think it would be especially beneficial for those who "just don't get it" to watch. It may be wishful thinking. They're probably the ones who just don't want to know.

I'm excited about the public awareness, education and support this documentary will bring to childhood cancer. It touches on survivorship issues, insurance shortfalls, and the pain of it all. It's not academic by any stretch. It's personal.

Several family members from the documentary were there, as were the filmmakers. They held an open discussion after the film. I have such profound respect for the courage it took all of them to participate in and document such difficult journeys. They filmed over 500 hours to make the documentary, and as they reduced the length, they gathered viewer opinions. The filmmakers were concerned about how parents going through it might feel about it. They never tested the film on those in the thick of it. I told him it was difficult to watch, since you can't help but put *your* child in the film as you're watching. However, I also told him I thought it was such an important film. We advocate for our children everyday, and now they are too, only with a much bigger spotlight. They are truly concerned about how upsetting the film could be to some people. They were all very genuine, concerned human beings, wishing to make a difference.

http://www.itvs.org/outreach/lioninthehouse/

It will air on PBS on two nights, June 21st and June 22nd, from 9-11pm. It's a two part series, so you'd have to watch both nights to see the entire documentary.

Friday, May 12, 2006 12:04 AM CDT

A Mother's Day Wish From Heaven

Dear Mr. Hallmark,

I am writing to you from heaven, and though it must appear
A rather strange idea, I see everything from here.
I just popped in to visit, your stores to find a card
A card of love for my mother, as this day for her is hard.

There must be some mistake I thought, every card you could imagine
Except I could not find a card, from a child who lives in heaven.
She is still a mother too, no matter where I reside
I had to leave, she understands, but oh the tears she�s cried.

I thought that if I wrote you, that you would come to know
That though I live in heaven now, I still love my mother so.
She talks with me, and dreams with me; we still share laughter too,
Memories our way of speaking now, would you see what you could do?

My mother carries me in her heart, her tears she hides from sight.
She writes poems to honor me, sometimes far into the night
She plants flowers in my garden, there my living memory dwells
She writes to other grieving parents, trying to ease their pain as well.

So you see Mr. Hallmark, though I no longer live on earth
I must find a way, to remind her of her wondrous worth
She needs to be honored, and remembered too
Just as the children of earth will do.

Thank you Mr. Hallmark, I know you�ll do your best
I have done all I can do; to you I�ll leave the rest.
Find a way to tell her, how much she means to me
Until I can do it for myself, when she joins me in eternity.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006 10:37 AM CDT

Since Mothers Day is fast approaching....

some poems...

Mom,you have always been there when I need you
and I pray you always knew,
How much you are loved by me,I pray that this love shows.
In the affection I gave, a hug and a kiss,
Sometimes I might have took you for granted and not told you this.
I love you,mom I've gone away,but my spirit is always close
Of all moms in the world,you exceed them all.
We laughed together,cried together and I envy your strength and power,
You refuse to be defeated, pushing forward every hour.
I love and needed you so much, my precious mother,
You blessed my life like no other.
I praise God for giving you to me,
The love grows stronger daily, even here in heaven
Peace I wish for you, for God to touch your grief,
Look up to Him and pray for sweet release.
I know the roads you've traveled and the hurts in life you've had,
I hate to see you cry,hate to see you sad.
I pray that God gives you happiness in your coming years,
That He gives you blessed days instead of ones filled with tears.
I know that you miss me and please know we
will be together again,
I praise the Lord for you, my mentor,my mother, my friend.
***************************************

"Why are you crying?" a son asked his mom.
"Because I'm a mother," she told him.

"I don't understand," he said.

His mom just hugged him and said, "You never will!"

Later the little boy asked his father why Mother seemed to cry for no reason.

"All mothers cry for no reason," was all his dad could say.

The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why mothers cry. So he finally put in a call to God and when God got on the phone the man said, "God, why do mothers cry so easily."

God said, "You see son, when I made mothers they had to be special. I made their shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort. I gave them an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times come from their children.

"I gave them a hardiness that allows them to keep going when everyone else gives up, and to take care of their families through sickness and fatigue without complaining.

"I gave them the sensitivity to love their children under all circumstances, even when their child has hurt them very badly. This same sensitivity helps them to make a child's boo-boo feel better and helps them share a teenager's anxieties and fears.

"I gave them a tear to shed. It's theirs exclusively to use whenever it's needed. It's their only weakness.

It's a tear for mankind."

Author Unknown

Thursday, May 4, 2006 7:57 PM CDT

THE HOUSE IS SOLD!!!

a new chapter begins..........closing date of June30!!!

Going house hunting tomorrow !!

Bought a bungalow today that we looked at yesterday...over 1 acre!!
Going for the house inspection on \Monday! \

Boy am I tired out now...
Sure can get alot MORE property for your money if you are willing to move a little further away!
This place has a new hot tub as well...
Will post after the house inspection on Monday.

If you want to see some of the house go to www.mls.ca and type in 616464 on the section where it say MLS #
it will show you the picture of the house, no inside pic's and give you an idea of the yard expanse, also gives measurments of the yard and stuff!

Saturday, April 22, 2006 8:08 PM CDT

Today, Chris's dad and I finally went to pick out a headstone for Chris's grave...

Here's on of my ideas for a carving....
on a skateboard, perhaps showing a road he is skating on...a board...heading to eternity.

How bout each time someone visit's his grave, they leave a penny and I will donate the pennies once enough have been saved to The Make Wish Foundation, in memory of Gist...
I was thinking a little water fountain of some sort if possible if not a little container...
its also a way for us to feel comfort knowing folks are still visiting him...

Saturday, April 8, 2006 9:48 PM CDT

For those of you that may be reading this journal from the start, there is a section that looks blank....just keep scrolling and you will see all the old journal entries from the beginning of this nightmare!

Brit, thankyou for putting that pic on! Its my favourite picture of Chris and you! I have a scanner now so hopefully I will be able to put up more photos here or on the memorial page..........hugs Brit...
The picture Brit put in the guestbook, was taken at Princess Margaret Hospital in Toronto, when Chris was just beginning to begin treatment for
his unrelated bone marrow transplant...
the necklace he is wearing in the photo in the guestbook and on the main page is a necklace Brit made just for Chris...we buried Chris with his fav necklace, from his fav gal....
Jeff-o, so happy to see you posting still about our Gist...it means alot to me that his friends have not forgotten him....get out there and get all the young folk like yourselves and donate blood...get on the bone marrow registy...think how many lives you could potenially save...you are great kids!

Sunny warm days of spring, the thought of a great summer coming...makes me miss you most Chris....

I LOVE YOU...I MISS YOU...still sleeping on your pillow (that you stole from me) still snuggling your pj's you wore the night you died......still have a lock of your hair in a little box beside my bed....

still.........can't believe you are gone................

Saturday, April 1, 2006 12:54 AM CST

Its OFFICIAL......

I am now on the Unrelated Bone Marrow Donor List!!

I challenge EVERYONE that is eligible to do this to get ON BOARD and get tested and help save a life!
Let me know on my discussion board if you've done the right thing :)

www.christophergist.memory-of.com

My discussion/support board for families of kids with cancer

www.bravewarriors.proboards67.com

Sunday, March 26, 2006 9:52 AM CST

Well the house is on the market again and once again here we go with the hassles of selling a house, open house coming up this week so I've got alot to do....

Fraser, my youngest has started a new job and is loving it!

For the last couple of weeks he's travelling around setting up Bulk Barn stores...staying in hotels, meals paid for and having a blast, a bunch of his buddies work with him....last week they were in Sudbury and today he just left for Ottawa.
He's hyped about Ottawa because they are staying in the Business Inn, set up just like apartments, so they have their own little kitchen, living room and stuff!
Cool job when you are that age :)

Man I hate selling a house, its such a pain....!

www.bravewarriors.proboards67.com

www.christophergist.memory-of.com

Thursday, March 16, 2006 1:57 PM CST

BONE MARROW DRIVE IN TORONTO AREA

Thursday, Mar 23, 2006
10:00 AM - 3:00 PM
York University
Bear Pit
4700 Keele Street
Toronto, Ontario,
416.994.7517

URGENT BONE MARROW DRIVE (posted from LLS Board)

Hi, everyone,
A few weeks ago, I posted information about a search for marrow donors for a friend of ours that Janice met when they were both patients at City of Hope.

Just a followup: There are several marrow drives posted on Christine's website www.savechristine.com, but if you are in the Los Angeles area, we will be hosting a drive next Saturday, March 25th at our home in the San Fernando Valley. The drive is being run by www.asianmarrow.org. If you are interested in stopping by and getting tested, please drop me an email and I'll send directions. You'll find my email address in my profile on here.

Thanks and be well.

-Larry

Be sure to visit Chris's memorial page...link at bottom

Thursday, March 16, 2006 12:29 AM CST

Don't panic if things look messed up here, I am fooling around trying to add stuff and I don't know what I am doing!http://www.pixpond.com/1/r25arj.gif

Wednesday, March 15, 2006 6:02 PM CST

There is an upcoming Bone Marrow Drive coming up at York University in Toronto, also on my discussion/support board I've listed many upcoming drives, mostly in the States.....

TORONTO BONE MARROW DRIVE

Thursday, Mar 23, 2006
10:00 AM - 3:00 PM
York University
Bear Pit
4700 Keele Street
Toronto, Ontario,
416.994.7517

I am doing well, thankyou Mrs. Pam for the beautiful butterfly....

graphics.net/pub/5/5831ngkqb911o8.gif
width=460 height=50 alt='glitter
graphics' border=0>
www.bravewarriors.proboards67.com

Please remember Christopher at his memorial page:

www.christophergist.memory-of.com

TORONTO BONE MARROW DRIVE

Thursday, Mar 23, 2006
10:00 AM - 3:00 PM
York University
Bear Pit
4700 Keele Street
Toronto, Ontario,
416.994.7517
of Kids with Cancer

www.bravewarriors.proboards67.com

www.bravewarriors.proboards67.com

Please remember Christopher at his memorial page:

www.christophergist.memory-of.com

Thursday, Mar 23, 2006
10:00 AM - 3:00 PM
York University
Bear Pit
4700 Keele Street
Toronto, Ontario,
416.994.7517

Monday, February 27, 2006 9:00 PM CST

At approx 1:10 am Tuesday morning my Angel will have been gone 365 days....

.

http://www.GlitterMaker.com/ - Glitter Graphics

Miss you as much now as I did then, and love you even more

Please light a candle or leave a tribute at
www.christophergist.memory-of.com

SOME THINGS SAID BY HIS FRIENDS ON THIS DAY OF MISSING HIM, thanky kids

Jeeves/Gisty/Captain Nemo/Christoph / Britton Allison (friend)
I can't believe it has been one year. Not a day goes by where I don't think about you, Chris. I have pictures all over my walls of you, and they remind me of the great times we got to spend together. I am so lucky to have known you. I am always reminded of our memories: the summer we saw eachother every single day, watching Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back atleast 25 times, watching the grinch at christmas time, all of the movies we went to see, all of the parties we went to, all of the times at my cottage, all of the sleepovers, all of your flicks on my forehead, all of our laughter, all of our smiles, all of our online games like pool and bowling that I played until I beat you... all of our late night msn conversations, all of the concerts, all of the dinners at my house (what a picky eater), all of our basketball games, all of the nicknames, all of the hugs, all of the cuddles, all of the drunken phone calls, all the pictures i drew for you, all of the ridiculous magazines my mom and i would bring you, all of the pictures I had to force you to pose in for me.... the list goes on. I miss you so much. You are the most amazing person I have ever met and it's not fair that you had to leave us so soon. I love you Jeeves. xo (Gist's gal pal Brit)

Missing You / Darryl Henderson (Friend)
I cant believe a year has passed already. I miss you Gist, and im just thinking about all the great times we had together. Theres alot of good ones let me tell you. I hope you are skating away up there my friend. I will come by and see you tongiht and we'll have a drink together. All My Love.

You Will Be Missed Forever and Always / Jill Caines (friend)
I can't believe it has been a year already I actually drove by ur grave site today and didnt realized it had been a year until i got home you were loved by so many and will be missed forever and always. I will always remeber the time at the cottage when we played card games together and watched movies. I hope you are in a better place. My condolences to Leslie and the rest of the family.

These messages were left in the Tribute section of Gist's memorial page, thanks guys knowing you are all thinking of him makes my heart smile and Im sure Gist would love that drink with ya Darryl, Brit, that forehead flicking was so annoying that Gist used to do LOL, I was the victim with that as well, Jeff-O thanks for letting me know you always think of him and for signing the guestbook on the Caringbridge page, Gist told me he wants to see you write a tribute to him on the memorial page LOL

HUGS TO YOU ALL

Monday, February 27, 2006 2:19 AM CST

Ok, I admit it....I was on a free psychic board and got a reading....

Kinda blew my mind, more details tomorrow...it was all about Christopher

www.bravewarriors.proboards67.com

Please stop by and leave a tribute or light a candle for the 1 year mark of Chris's passing at

www.christophergist.memory-of.com

Hugs

Tuesday, February 21, 2006 10:21 PM CST

Wow, tonight when I first came to this page and looked at Chri's page I suddenly had a meltdown, its been a while since I've cried but tonight just looking at his impish face with that grin broke me down...

I guess it should come as no surprise that this happened after all its only 7 more days till he's been gone from us for a year already...it just still doesn't seem real...

I can't believe the lad is never coming back...

Chris I miss you so much, you have no idea...I miss your sarcastic ways, I miss you flicking my forehead with your finger, I miss thumb wrestling with you, I miss rubbing lavender oil on your lovely feet...I miss everything about you...but you are the one that sadly missed out on life, through no fault of your own...you did NOT deserve this, no children do...
IT BLOWS...

LOVE YOU KISSYFUR

Sunday, February 19, 2006 11:38 AM CST

What strange weather we had the other nite! Thunder and lightning, freezing rain, snow and rain all together!

Sure glad to see others joining on my new discussion/support board

www.bravewarriors.proboards67.com

Don't forget to visit my Christopher at

www.christophergist.memory-of.com

Hugs

Thursday, February 16, 2006 2:59 PM CST

Be sure to visit the new discussion/support board I've created

www.bravewarriors.proboards67.com

Tuesday, February 14, 2006 8:15 PM CST

http://www.GlitterMaker.com/ - Glitter Graphics

A NEW DISCUSSION/SUPPORT BOARD I'VE CREATED FOR FAMILIES AND ALSO TEENS FOR THOSE TOUCHED BY THE BEAST.....
HOPE TO SEE YOU THERE.

CATEGORIES FOR ALL TYPES OF CHILDHOOD CANCERS

Tuesday, February 14, 2006 8:15 PM CST

http://www.GlitterMaker.com/ - Glitter Graphics

Tuesday, February 14, 2006 8:14 PM CST

http://www.GlitterMaker.com/ - Glitter Graphics

Monday, February 13, 2006 10:18 PM CST

Happy Birthday to my now legal aged son,

FRASER

please be sure to come and join me at the discussion/support forum I've made

www.bravewarriors.proboards67.com

Monday, February 13, 2006 10:29 PM CST

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Monday, February 13, 2006 10:18 PM CST

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Sunday, February 12, 2006 9:36 PM CST

I've made my own discussion board for families and friends of children and teens dx with cancer,
please help me get this rolling, hope to see you there.

www.bravewarriors.proboards67.com

Hugs

Friday, February 10, 2006 1:57 PM CST

There is a dad that has started a new discussion board, and I thought I'd help spread the word, its all about BONE Marrow issues, including people searching for donors, grief, and so on....

Please stop in and say hi...and give him a pat on the back for starting this up, he lost his little girl, she did not find a donor in time...

His name is Bryan...

www.givemarrow.net

Don't forget about the link to Chris's memorial page at bottom...
HUGS

Friday, February 10, 2006 1:57 PM CST

Thursday, February 9, 2006 7:58 AM CST

PLEASE SAY HIS NAME

Do you really think that I am OK?
Though my son has gone away?
Do you think because I smile
I have forgotten for a while?

I have to tell you that you are wrong.
He is on my mind all day long.
Though I may not let it show.
He's always on mind you know.

Why do you turn when I speak his name?
Do you not know it causes more pain?
Can you comprehend how I feel?
My son was here....my son was real!

I miss my child, but I must hide.
The terrible pain I feel inside.
The lump in my throat it hurts so bad
because I cannot cry although I am sad.

I can barely speak his name
For the fear it might cause you the pain.
I miss my Kissyfur.....I miss him so.
I just thought you should know.

Even though I laugh and play,
I didn't forget my son today.
Please say his name now and then..
Please say "Christopher" again.

Author Unknown

VISIT CHRIS'S MEMORIAL PAGE, LET US KNOW YOU WERE THERE...link at bottom

Author Unknown

Friday, February 3, 2006 11:45 PM CST

http://www.itvs.org/outreach/lioninthehouse/

BE SURE TO CHECK THIS OUT, IT'S A MOVIE TRAILER COMING SOON ON PBS ABOUT 5 FAMILIES WITH CHILDREN DIAGNOSED WITH CANCER...

Those of us that know the pain, know how heartbreaking these journeys are with our children diagnosed with cancer,
for those lucky ones that don't know, this movie will surely open peoples eyes about what the families go through...

I am sure it will be a tough thing to watch, but hopefully it will show the truth of the hell that is CHILDHOOD CANCER

Please remember to visit Chris's memorial page..link below

Tuesday, January 31, 2006 7:43 PM CST

We have been blessed with our new four legged addition to the family, Lucy, aka (Blondie) pedigree name is

Stoneruns Legally Blonde...LOL

She is another English Setter, orange and white, and she's a doll, slept with Ian and I all night last nite!

The boys just love her to bits, and Spazz the cat has a new pal, the two of them get along famously!

Can't wait to get another English Setter, such sweet dogs.

She is spoiled ROTTEN, and we love spoiling the little lady:)

Don't forget to visit Chris's memorial page, link at bottom

Tuesday, January 31, 2006 7:43 PM CST

Friday, January 27, 2006 10:03 AM CST

As we speak Buster is being put to sleep.....

The vet called and left a message saying he's not happy about the dogs pain control, I had Ian phone him back and the vet said Buster was in a lot of pain again this morning even with a morphine patch and IV meds... he said that if it were his dog he would put him down...

so, the decision has been made and done...no more Buster, we did everything we could, and a dog that young should not be an invalid and suffering...its one of those things we will never know...what a shame.

Ian and both felt we could'nt handle being there, its too soon what with Chris and all...emotionally I don't think I can handle anyone or any animals die...

I am not comparing Christopher to a dog, NO WAY, but as we all know pets have a way of getting into your heart and its a hard thing to go through.

I hope Christopher meets up with Buster along with our two bullmastiffs that had to be put down during the 4 year period that Chris was sick...too many losses in such a short time....but nothing compares to losing your child...
Just GIVE US A BREAK, are ya listening if you're up there?

Please remember to stop by Christopher's memorial page...
LINK AT BOTTOM

Wednesday, January 25, 2006 6:24 PM CST

At this time Christophers Fight journal is now turning into Buster's fight....

Sadly Buster is not doing very well at all, almost 3 months and no improvement with his pain in his back end.

We've done everything we can, he's been hospitalized, xrays, steroid therapy all to no avail so far, today he started being in even more pain so I had to take him in, could'nt wait till his appt. tomorrow...
he is back in the hospital for 2 more days where they will try pain control methods...
if there is no significant improvement, we will have no other option but to put him down, his quality of life is non existant, and we can't stand to see such a beautiful young dog suffer like this.
This is our rescue pup, he's only just turned 2 roughly and has gone from a happy, engergetic, squirrel chasing lad to just not wanting to move...its not fair

Tonights vet bill so far is over $500 so we are close to having spent almost $2000 and he is not improving...
After going through 4 years of my sons suffering I can't deal with much more pain and suffering...

So, we hope for a miracle for Buster, Christopher never got his miracle, and I am not confidante that Buster will either.
His muscle mass in his hind legs is almost completly gone.
ITs likely a disc issue, but I just don't have the money for him to get a MRI as was suggested, as it is all I can say is thank g-d for credit cards....

Nite all

Saturday, January 21, 2006 11:34 PM CST

Sometimes.....just looking at his picture brings a tear to my eyes and a knife to my heart....

Miss you pet

Tuesday, January 17, 2006 9:56 PM CST

Well yesterday was interesting!

I was on the computer working, when I heard a 'thump', and I could hear my sister saying something, no yell for help or anything, but I rushed downstairs to the basement and there she is......she missed the last step and was just laying there saying " ouch" over and over again.

Needless to say I figured she had an injury to her left foot that would require Xrays, so knowing we'd end up at the hospital we just went...

Yep, she broke her ankle, so we've had to set up a bed for her in the family room because we live in a back split with many levels...so now I am her servant...

The dog is in the same room as her, both need care, Buster is still in pain but seems a little better, it ends up that he has a spinal injury! He is going for physiotherapy this Friday LOL....

I've got 2 injured patients in my house both with skeletal injuries!
Sally is in a cast for 6 weeks and really is'nt very good with the crutches.

The funniest thing about this is that, she was carrying a 24 of beer down to the fridge that she'd bought earlier in the day, she wiped out, the case broke open and not ONE BEER BOTTLE broke, just her ankle LOL

Take care
Remember to visit Chris's memorial page (link bottom of page)

Thursday, January 12, 2006 6:26 PM CST

Patty, thankyou for such an enduring guestbook entry, it always warms my heart knowing that others out there are on the bone marrow registry....

I asked Linda how long she'd been on the donor list and she told me it was over 10 years! Imagine that, you would begin to think they misplaced you or something, just goes to show how hard it is to get the right match for someone.

Buster our dog spent the last two days in the animal hospital, he's been in pain for over 2 months now, switched vets and finally got an answer, he has an injury to his last vertabrae next to the large tail vertabrae...so here I go again dosing Steroids (wonder if dogs get roid rage)? The first vet said he might have had a hairline fracture on his rt hip, but turns out that is not the problem at all, the 2nd vet did xrays further up along his spine and it was very obvious, even to me...

The pup is feeling a tad better today, he is also on anebolic (sp) steroids to build up his hind leg mass...

So, far he's cost over $1000 between the two vets!

The vet is optomistic that he will be able to recover...tomorrow I take him back for a checkup and to discuss possible physiotherapy LOL

Also, I've begun working!
My good friend Julie that helped us out so much owns her own business as an Executive Recruiter, she asked me if I'd like to try it and of course I said yes!

I've only been at it a couple of days and she has sent 4 potential job seekers that I located to clients!
I feel really important now LOL

Been really busy.

We are having abnormally warm weather for this time of year, very strange, but I'll take it.
DON'T FORGET TO STOP BY THE MEMORIAL PAGE......LINK AT BOTTOM
Love to all

Tuesday, January 10, 2006 12:13 AM CST

Christophers donor has contacted me!

She sent an email, it was overwhelming when I realised it was the donor, must be a hard thing for our donor to read this journal...

Dear Donor, I will be emailing you soon!

Hugs to you

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