First of all sorry ..... well I am so thankful life has been so busy and can be but I miss writing and talking with you all connecting and catching up! I love updating but life is nutty! To be honest I am not sure when my last update was probably July! So sorry in advance but boy how time flies, some days it feels like a lifetime ago and other days it feels like yesterday for every little memory etched in my brain! 
One year ago today I GOT TO COME home !!!!!! I was surprised while pulling into town with absolutely NO clue while sitting in the back seat of the van with Main Street filled with your beautiful souls :) as the signs and the people poured through the sidewalks my heart was so full! Oh how I love me some Wamego ! I cannot believe it’s been a whole year! I remember booking the wedding I did today telling her I’ll dream of this day in a year a new me cancer free working again/ guess what dreams do come true ! My life has been good as we navigate new little hiccups but embrace them and constantly reminding myself how lucky we truly are ! I’ll start with myself which is backwards from most posts but you all I know are just dying to hear ! (JK)😭😭😭 So first I am gonna start by today my day was made when a sweet lady came up to me be asked if she could know where I get my hair done ! I can’t say I always do this but I told her she made my day I proceeded to have my eyes welt yp
with tears as I pulled the wig off my head and explained to her it was a wig but ironically I do do hair ! We sat and chatted and it felt like god sent her to me! On my way home from Sabetha doing wedding hair today I listened to music, many songs of which I grasped in the hospital and hard nights ! Life overall for me well I can’t complain! I am getting so much stronger slowly/ the docs told me it could take 2/3 years from the amount of chemo and prednisone I was on after tranplant to result booty muscles hip muscles shoulder and quads ! Crazy huh? Ya well I am making improvement by going to the gym and running in the mornings they tell me 80 percent of quality of life after transplant is working out / so I constantly remind myself this ! I was struggling really bad with my lungs while running working out and just a cough that wouldn’t go away / we moved to town and I have slowly weaned off my inhalers ! Believer it or not last appt beginning of Oct they predicted me to be at 83 percent and I was 87 “ those inhalers are working good !” Shocked when I said I hadn’t been using them so well either something ironic helped or moving off dirt truly has helped my health! I still struggle with GVHD in my woman hood ( if you know what I mean ) TMI sorry but this would be a great direct prayer it’s hard .... trying ... and many appts to try to figure out a plan of action! Trying numerous “ therapies “ to help with out going into too much detail / it’s hard but again thankful to have triumphs as if I wasn’t here I wouldn’t even be able to say that ! I feel that is hard to even complain bout when I look at life and it’s blessings !
i have went back to work full time and LOVING seeing familiar faces and new ones as well! I have missed you all so much, and it’s so hard when I begin to think I never chose to leave you all it just happened and gosh I felt like a piece of my heart was missing ! I love my job / and I am so very grateful for you all and that ! Going back was hard leaving the kids but I have found I am probably more organized when I do work cause I have to be and can’t put things off ha ha ! I have found more of a happy balance by still enjoying my kids activities but working !!!!! Crazy How God teaches us in ways we don’t see til after the fact ! I have had to start Acyclovir again cause my body wasn’t quite ready to wean off the anti viral drug / so they restarted me which ya helped ! I am continuing to navigate other things woman issues and they are trying many things to help! I still go to KC one every two months and depending on OB speciality visits sometimes more often! I recently had a bone density scan checking for asitophorosis  sp? and checking for heart issues an ECHO I did very well on both and continue to “ rock this transplant” as the docs say ! “ I got some good cells “ thank goodness!!!!! My dad takes me to my appts and we enjoy cheeseburgers most always as my taste bus wowza they are back full fledge I eat and crave everything I shouldn’t have !!!!!!!
Keith is good / he likes his job and has made quite some good friends working at WTC! They are an amazing company to work for and he is loving living closer so he can jet home everyday for lunch! I think he is super ready for hunting season as it’s his favorite time of the year ! He has been doing some final touches on the basement we had to finish the basement so the boys would have bedroom and Chris Eichem helped us do it all but I have a list a mile long each day of things to hang or I swear it’s always something ha ha ! He continues to love our kids and be a solid foundation to us all ! 
Koltan just finished his sophomore year of football after a shoulder injury bummed him being out for 2 1/2 weeks he finally got to play the last 2 games which helped mentality! He had a great season with awesome coaches ! So blessed ! He will do basketball and baseball this year and continue to do anything on the farm and hunt ! Huge hobbies of his ! He is constantly working with his horse at his dads helping with cattle and never stops reading up on hunting ! He is into his health aNd asking me always about adding protein and little things ! He has grown into quite the young man , and is learning I don’t sleep at night when he doesn’t answer his phone ( #mama probs right  :)
Treytan is a new kid this year being able to do his inner passion / sports and can’t wait for basketball ! Football was good , he has decided to do wrestling and comes home tired sore and hungry and constantly talking about what he is learning and how good of shape it’s getting him in! He is in 8 th grade just turned 14 and itching at th e bit to get his farmers permit which scares me so bad ha ha ! So we will prob do that soon! He is growing up a lot and Kolt will be mad I said this but about as tall as him! He loves to go riding his dirt bike or the ranger and is constantly wanting friends over ! I am loving being in town so many more kids at my house and I love it ! 

Blake is doing so good she is obsessed with preschool she is with Ms Jill and Ms Megan and omg I think she wants to a teacher somedays but most days she says she is going to be a KSU cheerleader ! She is busy with gymnastics and dance and just got done with soccer ! Soccer well I think she was more worried about what color her cletes were than playing but fun to watch her ! She begged to do ballet and jazz and is obsessed! She has made new friends moving into town I swear this neighborhood is amazing ! She has two girls across the street and one next door that she is constantly checking to see if they are home ! They just jump from house to house and sometimes the other kids down the road join in! I feel like it’s like the “ olden days “ just constantly running from house to house and we are so thankful! She is the youngest but tries hard to keep up with the “ big girls “ and looks up to them so much! She is great big sissy and loves to help me with Tytan! She graduated baths I guess and only takes showers cause she is four ! She lines all 50 or something like that of her peppas in our shower and I love her innocence ! She has sass you won’t quite grasp but a heart of gold and always prays for Grandma Shirley to get better !  She was sick this last week and I think she was over hanging at home and so excited to get out of the house ! 

Tytan aka Mr Hulk baby ! Well he is quite awesome he is so happy and his laugh is contagious ! He is finally starting to talk more ! And walks around saying bubba all day he gets pretty clingy to his bubbas ! He cries when you leave and reaches up and well melts us all ! But don’t let him fool ya he can destroy a house in 10 seconds it’s insane ! He wasn’t a picky eater but lately is becoming more picky which stresses me out but praying it’s just a phase ! He gave us a scare the other night when he was struggling breathing with all that is going around we ended up in the ER til 430 am they gave him a stronger breathing treatment and  steriod which helped but he can’t kick the cough! We are grateful beyond measure for my mother in law and grandma and grandpa who watch the kids and pick up the prices and are always willing to help
with open arms ! He started daycare one day a week and I adjusting slowly ! Grandma will still
keep him 3 days a week but he has enjoyed being around other kids so it’s a good middle ground ! He is becoming quite the little man ! I dream of him getting to read my blog someday knowing this life he helped give me along with Him! While in the ER a sweet lady told me how much she looked forward to my blogs.  Made me miss it ! It’s so therapeutic !!!! I don’t have a ton of hobbies honestly other than my kids ! With thanksgiving and Christmas around the corner I thought it was a good time to just say hey ! And if life is tough turn to the main Man ! This time of year I feel for many is depressing and the winter blues hit/ people struggle I see it in my job just depression! Gosh don’t be afraid to tell someone :) I did I was in a funk I felt off and then I felt like I failed needing something to regulate me and guess what it helped tremendously ! My body got shut off and turned back on and well I was a little out of wack for a while ! Sometimes we are too hard on ourselves !!!!!! Worst critics are ourselves ! I promise ! 
As always thank you.... thank You ... ThaNk YoU! Thanks for being there for me on the lonely weak broken nights thanks for commenting when I feeler alone and thanks for all the support we received .... life will forever be different / and somedays I need reminders just like all of you that in an instance life can turn upside down and shatter and the only thing standing is God ! Sometimes we have to go through the Hell to see the devil temptations to make us appreciate God works  ❤️ life’s journeys mold us I still cannot believe this was some cards I was dealt / but gosh dang so grateful to be writing this ! 

please say an extra prayer for those this time of year . For those battling any hardship .... cancer... life ..... stress .... and if you wanna say a little prayer for my issues that would be great ! I remember once saying “ look at life through my child’s eyes and it’s amazing how beautiful the world is ,....” they are one step closer due to the innocence they have ! Find the rainbow in your gloomy day .... if your depressed find what fills your heart ? Pay it forward buy someone coffee or do a hobby that fills your soul! For those battling don’t give up! Keep fighting this fight! 

one year ago I came home you blessed me all ... you showed me compassion and love like no other I wil always be here for you all anytime ! Much love always and Pray Hard 
“ Let your Faith be bigger than your Fear!” 

“God is within her she will not fail!” 

love you always ❤️

whitney