This will be my last entry on CaringBridge but not the last you will hear of me from my pen…

Tim’s funeral service on Tuesday, June 21st at the Episcopal Church of the Holy Cross was exactly how I had imagined it and of course celebrating his life at Mountain Brook Vineyards was a fitting tribute to his life, with stories and laughter over wine and food.  Tim would have had it no other way.  

I do want to thank each one of you that took the time out of your lives to attend the service and celebration, it was and always will be close to my heart for the remainder of my life. And for those with us in thought and spirit, thank you for helping to carry me through the last seven months spiritually. It all still seems so surreal; I can’t think of a better word to describe the feeling.  I walk around the cottage and see his work everywhere and yet, it’s quiet but peaceful. I will always be so thankful for the two months we had together after Shepherd and how he struggled to enjoy a difficult existence for one so vibrant in life just seven months before.  How life changed for us both in a split second will always give me pause about moving forward in an appreciative yet unknown future, for anyone.  One always thinks, as I have so often that “oh that would never happen to me, those things happen to other people.” But the last year has been incredibly sad with the deaths of several lifelong friends, suddenly and tragically.  Hearing my parents say that the older you get, the more you will attend funerals and suffer the passing of friends and family, but is it naive to say that I’m not ready yet?  Perhaps one is never ready and I still feel like it all just began for Tim and I, forty-five years together passed far too quickly. We had a most wonderful time together; there was nothing that we wanted to do that we did not do, be it traveling, living in the most amazing places and meeting people that will remain lifelong friends. That is why I still say that I have lived a charmed existence; sharing a limitless love and affection without bounds with a husband and partner, a family that provides unconditional love and support, lifelong friends that have and will always be with me and the friends that we have met along the journey that welcomed us in their lives that I will forever love.  

So, I say godspeed and everlasting love to Tim as we celebrated his life at a church and town that surrounded me with love and affection and welcomed us into their flock. Father Robert Ard came into my life at a time when I needed him most, the epitome of an angel that appears when one most needs them.  Throughout these seven months since Tim’s injury  there have been so many serendipitous moments and occurrences, a few of which I have mentioned in my postings. Many you will hear in the future. I was so proud of the service, the majesty of the music, liturgy, commendation and commitment of “part” of Tim’s ashes in the Memorial Garden.  And many of you know that Tim’s wishes were that I take the remaining ashes to Italy and spread them off the Amalfi coast, he loved Italy and particularly the towns of the coast.  Yes, funerals are for the living that remain behind but I know he would have been proud.  

Finally, I attempted to say this at the Winery celebration but relied on my precious niece Gale to read the lyrics below, Abba was a favorite of both Tim and I.  We basically grew up together in our twenties to ABBA and disco. During Tim’s stint as a DJ when I met him, he always ended the night with Dancing Queen by ABBA.  One song in particular stayed in my heart forever and I had planned to use it at a fiftieth anniversary party for us in 2027 (yes I do plan in advance) and read these words to him.  In fact, I always wanted to read these words to him as the years went by but felt they were even more appropriate now and at his celebration on Tuesday. 

WHEN ALL IS SAID AND DONE 

ABBA, 1981

Love to you all and thank you for indulging me for the last seven months.  I promise each of you that have sent cards, flowers, gifts, supplies, funds, and offerings of love and support, I will thank you properly in the coming months and please know that each and every gesture was and always will be appreciated.