I wasn’t planning on another Caring Bridge post so quickly but today was an interesting day. While it was a difficult day for a variety of reasons, it was also full of grace. Rex had tubes put in his ears today and his adenoids removed so hopefully we can put an end to the constant ear infections and freight train snoring. 

To be honest I did not relish the idea of being back in a hospital so soon. I have no fear or aversion to hospitals because they are places of care and healing but it was the first time in the hospital without Kayla next to me. It was weird walking the halls where Rex was in the NICU for so long and not being able to reminisce with Kayla about that season. I remember back to when William had tubes put in his ears all those years ago. Kayla wouldn’t put him down for even a second before the doctors came to get him. Which was fine by William because he knew his place was in his mother’s arms. This time around it was dad arms that carried the load. 

The little things today were tough. Outside of the glaring absence of momma carrying Rex through the hospital there were constant reminders of the new reality we live in. When signing Rex in they asked if any of the guardian information needed to be changed. I had to cross Kayla’s name off entirely. When they were asking about his medical history I had flashbacks of every time we were in a doctor the last 10 years and Kayla and I would stare at each other while we answered the questions to make sure we didn’t leave anything out. I miss that. 

I went back with Rex to the operating room so that I could see him off to dreamland. The surgeon who we met with a month and a half ago asked how Kayla was doing and I told him she passed a month ago. I saw ten people quickly stop what they were doing and fix their eyes on me. I could see the wheels turning in their minds as they looked at my 1 year old, and then back at me, knowing that mom was no longer in the picture. As I walked back to the room I felt my emotions well up within me but I quickly brushed them aside. There will be time for grieving the reality of today later, for the time being my son needed me ready to welcome him back when his surgery was over. 

Rex returned from his surgery very fussy but was quick to lay in my arms and snuggle tight. We both fell asleep for a couple of hours while we waiting for his stats to return to normal. Tubes and adenoids taken care of and hopefully clear skies and calm waters from here on out. I want to thank all of you for praying for him today. I cannot stress enough how important your prayers are. I know my son was comforted by them today. I know I was strengthened by your prayers today as well. I ask that you continue to pray for us. Pray for William and Ellie as they continue to adjust to everything. Pray for health for our household. I am still sick and with my mother leaving soon I would like to be healthy for when that time comes. Pray that there are no hospital visits for us in the near future. Finally, pray that joy continues to be the constant in our household. Coming off of Easter and Opening Day of baseball season we have had an abundance of joy to feed us lately. The Lord has given us manna for today and joy is at His right hand. Pray that we embrace it daily. Thank you all.