Here we are, one year out from the end of active treatment and two years out from the surgery itself. This week I saw Dr.O'Connor at her office to discuss the results of my latest mammogram. Her verdict? "You're doing great! No sign of cancer, swelling in the breast is way down and the skin is looking much better." I confirmed that the dermatologist agreed that everything did look good (except an irritated nevus on my back that he wanted to freeze off). I also reported his suggestion that I treat the cracks in my skin (due I think to Tamoxifen) with superglue.

I then plied her with a concern that has lurked in the background all this year. I reported that I had some painful swelling last week in my armpit and had begun to fret: is IT back? I didn't note that I had gone to the length of scrounging in the patient portal and downloading my mammogram report before the official letter reporting results came out. I just HAD to know.

We talked about recurrence rates (higher for breast cancers that are not estrogen sensitive in the first few years and overall unlikely but possible for several years out, including for "distant" sites in the body). Seeing the glum look on my face, the doctor said, "You got a clean bill of health here. It's good. But I understand. It's like a marriage, this relationship with your body. Your body cheated on you with some strange disease and now you have trust issues in your relationship." As for the pain in my armpit, she advised that since I did have lymph nodes removed and lost some tissue, pain and swelling would come back now and then and should not be a worry if they don't linger.

As for the superglue, she shook her head (much as my PCP had done) when I told her and loosed a brief chuckle. I reported being "just fine" with liquid bandage, though the dermatologist had pouted, "But that stuff stings!" That, I am used to now. My treacherous body, though, still makes me wary.