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April
21
2021

April 21, 2021

Exactly 5 more sessions to go and the Dr.has decided to stop due to my pain level and skin breakdown...I know it’s for the best but boy am I angry. I feel like every time I get closer to seeing the end in sight things stop, pushing that vision out further. I go in today to see what he thinks, however at this point the only thing they can do is give me stronger pain meds. I’d prefer not to do that at this time, but since radiation continues to work in your body even past the last treatment we will see how I fare as the next few days go on. I know it’s all in Gods timing and I thank him for knowing I need a break when I want to push through it he knows what’s best for my body. My main frustration at this time is wanting to plan things like Nealas birthday but at this point IDK how I will feel and if I can handle letting her have the party I promised her a year ago. This is all so hard form someone like me who wants a plan for everything! Guess I’ll be learning to do quick spur of the moment planning for awhile! Anyways that’s my update for now and as always prayers are much appreciated. I need strength to continue, peace to not worry about the unknown and lots of love to get me through!

Come to me all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I a gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls. Matthew 11:28-29

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April
12
2021

April 12, 2021

Happy Spring! I can’t believe I’ve officially been in treatment for all 4 seasons now...I’m so ready to be done!!! Radiation is taking its toll but is doable with the love and support of Drew and the girls. They have taken over so much cooking, cleaning and allow me to rest and do what I need to stay comfortableish . I’m at a very uncomfortable point , but ( only 2 more weeks to go!) I can do this! I’m looking forward to having a bit larger of a garden this year since I will be home with lots of time. Neala is excited as well and we have started some seeds which are looking good. Neala’s main request for the summer is to do Science experiments which will be so fun! If you have any suggestions let me know. We have done quite a few this year for school but in the summer we will easily be able to do even messier things out doors. Drew and I have also been passing time and having fun making wood signs and creations to help bring in a little extra income. It’s been a lot of fun and gives me something to pass the time. If you haven’t seen it please check us out on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/lulusclosetlaporteindiana/ and share with your friends to help us grow! So that’s about all I can think of to update everyone for now. I hope you are all enjoying the spring weather as much a we are!


March
24
2021

March 24, 2021

Quick update! Woop woop today marks 2 weeks of radiation! I had my skin check and the nurse and Dr both said I look GREAT not good GREAT. They made a point to emphasize that. The nurse said she never gets to tell someone their skin looks great and that I'm doing all the right things! Yay I'm feeling pretty proud and super thankful for Drew who helps me every evening apply all the goopy products to my back and makes sure I dont skip a night. Yes its already getting old having to Lube up as I call it 3 times daily and driving to these appointments is getting old as well but hearing this today from the Dr and nurse lets ke know its all worth it!


March
10
2021

March 10, 2021

First of 33 radiations starts today!! Heres to hopes and prayers it doesnt get to uncomfortables

March
3
2021

March 02, 2021

Well I certainly jinxed myself last time by saying things were smooth sailing...I ended up with a small infection at my incision which was basically my body rejecting the dissolving sutures. So that resulted in an area that wouldn’t heal. It’s taken a couple antibiotics, lack of movement and lots of patience but as of today the surgeon has finally released me to do radiation. Tomorrow I will see the radiation oncologist and see if he agrees. If so, tomorrow I will have a long appointment of measurements and my tattoos to prep me for 6 weeks of daily ( mon.-fri.) radiation treatments. If anyone has any good remedies for severe sunburn please pass them my way. I plan to start by trying to get ahead of things and stay hydrated in hopes of not burning to badly. Tonight I spent some time making pure homemade aloe Vera gel. Who knew you could buy huge stalks of aloe at the grocery store!?!? Now you know! Lol 
For the most part we’re all doing well here though. I’ve tried to spend the last couple weeks just enjoying life before the craziness starts up again. All of the daily appointments certainly interrupt my time with Neala and school so we have to adjust almost daily. Tonight we did a little night school which she was totally cool with. Every day I think of all of the things that truly have helped us get through these months and being able to homeschool is definitely one of them. I honestly can not believe we have been on this journey for 8 months now! Some days it still just doesn’t seem real and other days it seems like it’s been a lifetime. Prayers for strength through radiation and continued healing are much appreciated! Love to all of you!

Psalms 103:2-4
Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits- who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion

January
28
2021

January 28, 2021

3 weeks out from surgery 1 and almost 2 weeks from surgery 2 and im doing well. I was released to be able to drive on Tuesday but have yet to give it a try. My pain is tolerable but by mid afternoon its a pretty intense nerve pain. I still have nerve pain badly in the left arm and the Dr is hopeful all of this will go away with therapy. Tomorrow I will start my first physical therapy session so we will know sooner than later. I have good range of motion on the right side and still need help on the left. The bummer is I'm left handed so I need that side more than ever! I'm getting through though and each day is a little better💪

Monday I meet with the radiation oncologist to determine when I will start radiation. Its a 2 hour appointment with lots if measuring, scanning and mapping out my skin. I will also get my first ever tattoo! Lol a few small freckle sized dots will be tattoed to help them with exact positioning during radiation. Guess I won't be one of the few left to never get a tattoo😂

Over the next few weeks the amount of appointments I will have is insane. They tell you youre sick and to rest but they really dont let you! So my treatment is the same as the last update. I will have 6 weeks of radiation and then follow that with 3-4 months of oral chemo. My hope is now to be back on track and life as normal again by June/July which will be right at the 1 year mark from diagnosis. 

Hope everyone is doing well!! We're doing pretty good considering all the crazy chaos thrown our way!!

January
20
2021

January 20, 2021

Tomorrow I see my surgeon for more details on my last surgery, however yesterday I had an appointment with my oncologist for the answers as to what the future holds. I was pretty bummed after this appointment and had to take some time to be angry. Everyone always comments on my positivity and while I’ll admit I am trying to remain as positive as I can through all of this, trust me I have many moments of anger and frustration and all of the nasty feelings you can imagine as well I tell Drew I’m mad and want to punch something but don’t even have the energy (so unfair). My plan is to feel those feelings and express them but not let myself live in those feelings for long. There’s never going to be any good in any of those emotions right!?!? 

So right now I’m still having a bit of discomfort from surgery as can be expected since I’m just 2 weeks out from the original surgery and not even a week out from the second one. I also have some pretty bad nerve pain in my left arm from the first procedure and they have no way of knowing if it’s permanent or not. I’m really hoping not because it’s definitely painful, annoying and my dominant arm...that’s my luck 🙄 Yesterdays visit informed us that I will have a couple more weeks to heal from surgery and then I will start radiation for 6 weeks (5 days a week for 30 sessions) once that is done, I believe I will have a couple weeks to heal from that and then I will have to start an oral chemo regimine. This will consist of taking chemo pills 2 times a day for 2 weeks and then taking a week off and continuing that routine for a minimum of 4 times (3-4 months) I’m really struggling hard on this because so far chemo has been the hardest thing ever for me and for my family. If anyone reading this has experience with oral chemo I’d love to hear from you! Other than that I’m gonna try and put the chemo in the back of my mind and not focus on it till the time gets here which will be around March.

Homeschooling is going really well compared to the beginning of the year. Between myself when I’m feeling good, Alyssa and Drew we have gotten quite a schedule down. It’s amazing how well we can all work together when we need to! Neala is so ready to be back at school and has had quite a few challenges this year so definitely say an extra prayer or 2 for her. She is handling everything like a champ even though I know she’s confused and angry herself! Considering it all even on her worst day I’d say it’s warranted when she acts up. No child should ever have to go through all she is enduring. Alyssa has been home for quite awhile now but will soon be returning to school. We are so fortunate she is local (IUSB) this year. I’m so glad she has an apartment she can go to when she wants or needs yet she can be home just as much. We truly would not be in as good of shape as we are without her here. She’s been great at helping with Neala in all circumstances, cooking, cleaning, running errands, Girl Scout cookie(mom), homeschool substitute and so much more all while doing her own school work and working multiple jobs! 

Drew has had the pleasure of taking over all of my needs and being at my beckon call. Literally. At night he has to tuck me in and in the morning get me up🤣 not using your arms is harder than I thought it would be. Try getting in and out of bet without the use of your arms seriously, my abs are feeling it! We’re just both super glad there’s no need for help with using the toilet...yep I went there! Lol 
He’s been by my side through all of it and I couldn’t have had a better caretaker, setting alarms for my pain meds and even waking at crap hours of the night/morning so that they stay in my system. We were amazingly fortunate that he was able to take the week off that I had surgery and then when the Dr called and said I had to have a second surgery his bosses were happy to allow him the following week off as well. Thankfully he will receive his full salary for all of it. 

If you stuck with me this long and are still here reading thank you. Thank you all for your prayers and support. The meals galore have been amazing and we also have been able to update some of our own recipes and add to the meal plan some new things thanks to all of you. The continuous gifts, cards, blessings and more have been absolutely heart warming and every single one is appreciated. There will never be a way we could repay you all but I assure you we are grateful and plan to pass on blessings to others every chance we get from here on out. This whole cancer crap is a sucky situation for sure and none of it has been easy at all. Not for me and not for my family or even my friends watching it all happen, but none of it is without blessings as well. We have learned, experienced and grown so much through it all in so many ways we never would have without the diagnosis. 

John 16:33
“I have told  you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

January
15
2021

January 15, 2021

Home and resting! Everything went well. Please say a prayer that the lymph nodes taken today are all cancer free❤