God is good... all the time. It's a phrase that lots of people we know use. It's almost like a call back kind of cheer. One person says God is good and the reply is all the time. Then, they reverse it and the first person says all the time, with the reply of God is good. It took me a while to realize the beauty of what they were saying because it meant in the horror and struggle, He was still there being good, even if the situation wasn't. Once I started to see that, I really got it. What you describe is exactly that! The beauty of God being in the horror and the pain. I am so grateful that you could see and feel Him in that darkness! I may never know what you experienced, but I pray that all of the difficulties will only continue to strengthen your already amazing faith and love of our Lord! Your faith through this has been such a powerful witness to everyone who knows you, I don't doubt God's intense joy at those that He has touched through your beautiful family. May He continue to bless you all!