The time has come for me to end this journal for my beloved husband, Steve Smith.  Steve fought a very courageous battle with pancreatic cancer for 15 months.  But his fight allowed him to gain his angel wings on January 10th of this month.  And in this journey, we have not been alone.  I am very humbled to say that this site has recorded 723 visitors with almost 46000 visits by each of you.  I have prayed for each of you as I read your words of love and encouragement.  Steve and I have been beyond fortunate to have such a dynamic prayer group of warriors like yourself.  I can not do it justice but I will begin by saying thank you.  A million thank you's would still not express my heartfelt gratitude and passion I have for all of you and how much you have loved and prayed for us.  

Our mantra began with #unshakableHope. That started with a friend who sent me a tweet from Max Lucado that read, 'God doesn't stand on a mountain and tell us to climb it and find him. He comes down into our dark valley and finds us.' I also used FROG which many of you asked what that means, Fully Rely on God.  And our verse of scripture that Steve & I would always cling to was Isaiah 41:10 which reads, "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with My Righteous Right Hand.' We learned really quickly that through this journey called 'cancer' that God was always with us when we had ups and downs.  And we constantly relied on God for our faith, hope, and our everlasting peace.  Steve knew his peace in the end.  And he wanted all of you to know that same peace.   We may not always get the outcome we would like in our lives but if you knew the joy & peace of God that Steve had, we would all live our day to day lives so differently.  

I was with my husband when he took his last breath on earth to his first one in eternity.  Steve's joy is now in eternity and I am filled with joy to know that I will see him again one day.  But my time now is to grieve.  And that grief comes in all shapes and sizes.  God has prepared me for this time.  Even on days that I scream out and my mascara runs...God has prepared me for this.  Just like David, I know I am not alone in my grief.  Psalm 56:8 - 'You keep track of my sorrows.  You have collected all my tears in your bottle.  You have recorded each one in your book.' (NLT) Oh I know I will look for signs from Steve -- a red cardinal, a feather, a dream or maybe a whisper in the dark.  Because I miss my best friend.  It has been said, 'My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person.  And if the scar is deep, so was the love.'  And with that comfort comes, 'weeping may endure for the night. But joy comes in the morning.' Psalm 30:5 (NKJV).

Steve or I may not have responded to each of you but we read every text, every message on CaringBridge/Facebook and listened to every voice mail.  Nothing anyone of you did went unnoticed.  It takes multitudes to see someone through such a journey as this.  Never forget that.  Many of you have the talent and gift for compassion and prayer.  Don't lose that!  We are called to pray for one another, always.  And again, I am beyond blessed and grateful.

Just remember - "Happy moments, praise God. Difficult moments, seek God. Quiet moments, worship God, Painful moments, trust God.  Every moment, Thank God."

And I thank God for each of you.

As always- #unshakableHope
FROG

Teresa Smith & family


**NOTE - I just realized a great portion of this was missing.  For that, I apologize.  Luckily I had my notes. No need to respond, but I felt like I needed to resubmit with all of my thoughts.  Thank you.